#could it be? maybe......Oh please *W*
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If I happen to come into possession of the Avatar Painted Lady Pop figure. Do not ask if I sold a kidney. Neither will be here to answer the question
#silly talks#could it be? maybe......Oh please *W*#kidneys are not here right now please leave your message after the beep
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Okay Here Is The Problem: everything costs money and yet money is something that i just literally never have. solution? kill the idea of money so that nothing costs anything Please. i'm so tired
#despite making more money w/ my commissions than ever before this year#i am still. not able to save up literally even one (1) single penny of it bc of bills#i have to make like 600 every month just to break even at like 5 dollars in my acct#please i am so fucking tired#i want to get myself things and do shit#i want to buy things for archie and jack's dog and for the house so that things are better for all of us#i want to be able to afford snacks more than once every three months like if i maybe want a bag of chips#instead of saving up for three months and going 'yeah okay 5 dollars for a normal sized bag of chips is finally worth it' ?????????????????#why the fuck are chips so expensive that is potatoes and spices and like all of it is automated hello?? what are we fucking paying for?????#ANYWAYS.#i am just fucking. Tired#due to recent events I was like#'okay how much are dog treadmills.... oh. i see. i will never be able to afford that even after three years saving. got it'#there are five hundred fundraisers on my dash (BARELY hyperbole) every single day and everybody needs help#so i COMPLETELY get people not having a ton of disposable funds this isn't me complaining about that i'm just.#i wish that i sometimes had money so that i could MAYBE save anything up or y'know. have ANYTHING to show for it#bc right now i am working full time at this job (commission/freelance artist and adopt maker etc) and making like maybe 4 dollars an hour#which is great bc when i started i was only getting about $0.11 an hour but like. that's still not. Good. For all the time i put into it#but due to circumstances and situations this is about all i'm physically and mentally able to do here and i LIKE doing commission but it's#not really. getting me anywhere and i just want to afford things finally.#i'm 27 and everything i own fits in one room and almost all of it was gifted to me for free bc i couldn't afford to get it on my own#delete later i'm just so tired man
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sequel to this cause Uh Oh !!!!!!!
#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#ryu ga gotoku 7#yakuza series#yakuza like a dragon#jo sawashiro#ryo aoki#masato arakawa#snap sketches#if theres mistakes idc this is TWO DAYS LATE i have a COMMISSION TO DO and im GOING OUT WITH MY BRO AGAIN#we are SPEEDING THROUGH PLEASE FORGIVE ME#anyway. hey :)#part of me feels like this would have been better in b/w but OH WELL#part 95 of I Almost Trashed This but i didnt want to whenever people were already expecting it and saw me draw it SO. <:]#eveyrone from the stream lookin at this like 'snap what the hell did you do this is totally different' GIRLS I TOLD YOU IT'D BE TOTALLY DIF#ok not 100% diff but. i redid pretty much the whole thing#i still have the old draft actually LMAO i had to yoink soem bits from it but now i dont want to delete it...#there was just a lot i didnt like with the first one that i wanted to see if i could adjust to my liking and well. Good Nuff#theres SOME bits i dont like but thats more so how i drew it opposed to the thought or composition#ok maybe a lil bit of the latter but anyway. Enjoy :)#also you'll have me gutted like a fish before i try to learn how to draw croc skin like we'll just have to save that for another time#do i have anything else i want to say. no LMAO if i do im just gonna end up explaining all the composition and panels#and id rather leave that up to yall lookin to see if you wanna take anything Extra away from how i set things up SO :)#bye for now. i have to run around my house ☠️
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buttered noodles 💫💛🍜
#just me hi#it's just a Lot of butter cuz i don't like having pasta sauce w/ parmesan (something wrong w/ that idk hfbshv) so :3#i was thinking of putting garlic in it but idk if that would be good... do i wanna take the risk.. i mean you can't really go wrong with#garlic... Hmmmm....#//oh yea i am definitely gonna switch up my main blog theme ehe :3#and maybe my rb blog's theme too cuz i liked it when the colours were matching lol#maaaybe to blue.. i don't remember if i've ever had a blue theme so this might be the first blue theme ehe :3#i just like to have an Image for the banner so i need to figure out what i'd like that to be.. hmnmnmnmnm!#//alright you know what i'm gonna put garlic in this one second lolll#okay i put black pepper and garlic in it's not too bad :)#prolly shoulda put more salt in too cuz i'm craving it. salt <3#/having spaghetti cuz the meal is actually supposed to be eggs and i cannot have that lol#some people are upset about this! like my dad. and my brother who is making the food lmfsh#i didn't know food was being made i am innocent in this !! probably anyway#like nobody is more displeased by this than me dude. i wish people could actually like. describe what some foods taste like so that i could#actually see why they like them#but you ask and they say 'what are you talking about? it's just egg' but 'Just Egg' SUCKS dude what is Your Egg like. pretty please kfshvjg#and grapefruit? grapefuit sucks but my mom likes it and i can't understand Why#and i wanna ask what it's actually like and why she likes it but she only says 'idk it's good with salt' what does that MEAN#how does the taste change?? how would you describe it before that ? clearly it was good enough before the salt or you wouldn't have tried i#with that!! i just wanna know !!!!!#dark chocolate ?? Please ??? do you like the taste of restrained anger and resentment cuz that's what it tastes like lmao ???#Coffee ??????? i can't understand coffee without a bajillion tons of sugar (+ other things) masking the taste how do you. Deal#not even deal- Enjoy !! how are you enjoying it !!! Why !!!! and why does everyone think i'm trying to convince them it's bad when i ask#LMAO--#like i'm not trying to say it's bad i'm trying to figure out how it's good please. Please Man lmfvshjfvhgfks#okay so clearly i have thoughts on all that LMfvshgjhfs#bitter stuff sucks and i barely like sour stuff Sometimes. food is all around good though so lol 👍#//alr i'm gonna. [starts scooching away]#i am almost out of tags (rip unlimited tags i miss you so bad hfsvh <3) edit: i ran out LMFVHS ; TOODLES !!
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Going to the mall as I am now (kinda punky/extremely autistic) is kinda funny like. That's a nice shirt. However, it's not one of my thousand beloved black graphic t shirts and it is such a texture and kind of a weird shape to it and honestly I don't really wanna buy any sort of fast fashion type shit or brand shit. Don't care. Oh they have patches. Kinda cute but straight up I can just make those. In fact, I would prefer to. Don't care. Also I'm not buying that.
#i've kind of become a very hard person to please but it's deceptive. in both directions#what i really want is materials. and incredibly specific things.#also just. something about the patches that were designs/artwork like. i feel like i'm being sold an aesthetic#when like. yeah. yeah you are quite literally LMFAOOOOOO#i wanna start a for real battle jacket.... a sturdy but lightweight enough vest for daily wear...#i have a vest but it's flimsy as fuck and not the right shape for me. so i think i'll scrap it for patches#i still gotta figure out how to make nice patch designs though. that is something i struggle w for some reason#but like. i'm not buying mall patches LMFAOOO like. idk it almost feels insulting#idk idk maybe i'm taking it too seriously LMFAO but it does feel like brazen commodification#of something that's like. you're supposed to do it yourself. kinda goes against the whole point#ideologically too. but again maybe i'm just too serious about it.#but like above all i don't want Things i want stuff to make things.#OH MY GOD I GOT IT. those fucking patches were the live laugh love of people who want the aesthetic and edge of punk#but none of the roughness. none of the shittiness. and none of the actual philosophy behind it.#gooooddddddddd i probably sound insufferable though LMFAOOO#i also just feel like a poser myself at times like. i could go deeper i think.#anyways. most important thing and whole point of the trip was manga. got some manga 👍🫡
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I love learning new things at work
Like how men's pants have multiple measurements that are present in the size numbers(i.e. waist measurement - in-seam measurement - (possibly)outer-seam measurement)(plus the size numbers are the actual inch/cm size and not some arbitrary number) AND there are like a lot of different cuts available??? how did I not know this
i also learned that i r e a l l y have no idea what romantic love/attraction is?? and whether or not i experience it?!?
#why am i learning these things at work?????#like me my supervisor and a coworker(??) got on the topic of the definition of romantic love because coworker was like'something something#to me and supervisor went 'ha! he thinks youll get married'(/said in a very obvious [even to me] joking way~)#and i said >:0#'nuh uh!! i will too!!' then loudly whispered*you dont have to be ~in (romantic) love~ w/ someone to get married right?...*#supervisor:no there are plenty of loveless marriages#coworker:also tax benefits :)#me:nonoononomisunderstanding i would still be in love with the person just not in a romantic way...???#supervisor:well what do you define as romantic then?#me:...idunno...o_o#and thus started the conversation#ending up with me STILL not understanding and having no idea what to do#i went down a rabbit hole to find a definition of romantic love/attraction that i could understand in some way and found nothing#think i was (definitely) trying to find a def where i thought 'oh! i understand that because thats what I experience!!' and never found it#because i may or may not experience it...#i think im aroace#does anybody have any advice?? like maybe some good explainations of romantic love/attraction#or even their own experiences of aromanticism???#i desire words that make sense please#adding these tags so maybe more people can see this so i can get answers???>#arospec#aroace#aromantic#aromantism
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so fucking busy the rest of the year. being alive is awesome :]
#i have 4 classes this semester and 2 of them r music relateddd i love my major#my financial aid package FINALLY PROCESSED after like 7 months lol#so i just have to figure out disbursement#i have surgery in october to have a hysterectomy and oophorectomy#and then i am gonna be out of work for 4 weeks (but still doing classes lol...)#and i have 2 more cohorts to facilitate#and a training video and some projects to pull together#and a brainstorm session tomorrow#and im going to a baseball game for work on thursday!!!!! exciting!!!!!!!!!!#and if my finaid is as much as theyre saying it will be my rent for the rest of the year is paid#which would mean all my paychecks can go directly to#medical costs and other bills n savings#which puts me so fucking closer to moving out next year#if i play my cards right i can pay all my debts between now and march/april of next yesr#and then i will be able to fucking!!!!!!! move!!!!!!!#wait guys im emotional i had a shitty medical procedure i had to endure as part of pre op a d#literally in the last hour im back to feeling so fucking energized#ohhh my gd i love being alive please please please lef this work out#im gonna stART PLANNING W MY FRIENDS FOR A SPRING TRRIP NEXT YEAR?#AAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!! maybe even planning another trip w 19 bc i saw a cool cabin to stay in LMAO#just. yells. oh my gd#please please let this work out even 50% of the way of what it looks like it could be
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alright you’ve been extremely extremely kind and indulgent to me about my oc and i cannot possibly thank you enough <333333 so MY turn now to ask YOU about YOURS. please tell me about maglor’s distant granddaughter who is also your bbeg?? .w. or about the chatty hobbits i would very VERY much love to hear about both!!!
~ @nelyoslegalteam, reporting from main <3
(long post, sorry for the random people stumbling upon this lol)
so I'm the dm for the chatty hobbits campaign and essentially it's set in a beleriand-adjacent continent, but with a few extra races and stuff. of the founders of the original settlements, the king of elende (the elf kingdom) is Gil-galad's (invented for the campaign) twin brother Finellach/Finwain. originally he was inspired by the fact that gil galad has a ton of names but only uses ereinion/gil, so I just invented a new character and gave him half the names. I headcanon gil galad as maglor's son, so finwain is in universe maglor's son (left at the havens with gil bc his wife divorced him for kinslaying and his kingdom, being next door neighbors with morgoth, is far too dangerous for small children).
Anyways, his descendant Elinyel (also known as aramire or elinnor) is the current queen of Elende! she's an evil fire-themed bard who is extremely feanorian in all the worst ways - her actual kingdom prospered under her reign, but she just does not care about everyone else as long as she's protecting her people. There were some tensions with one of the major kingdoms to the north (conflict over unclaimed territory between the kingdoms and some tariff stuff), so instead of risking the other kingdom starting a war and hurting her people, she just preemptively invaded it and started burned all the border territories to the ground.
her actual coronation was pretty weird- so she's the second child, but her older sister was born in wartime and there's a general belief in elende that children of peacetime make better rulers, so Elinyel was chosen as her family's heir. her grandfather (the crown prince of his generation) died defending Elende in one of the major wars, but his younger brother and two young kids survived. there's a whole feud between their houses because the brother chose to retain the kingship even after the kids were old enough to take the throne. anyways, two generations later Elinyel killed her cousin Arendil (the previous king of Elende) over a dispute about the legitimacy of his house (and what she believed to be a dishonoring of her grandparents' sacrifice) and took the throne.
obviously she has many Issues. arendil also has two surviving kids who are now essentially trying to stop her from murdering all their neighbors in proactive defense of her people.
however, when she first ascended she recruited her friend group as her elite guard/vassals of the kingdom. (aka the other bosses in the storyline). so it escalated to a war between her forces and the children of arendil, which ultimately culminated in her beloved sister being killed by one of arendil's children. this in turn led to her having basically a massive mental breakdown and feeling like she failed to protect her loved ones (exacerbated by some of her other friends being killed in battles she led). a normal person might decide this is was kind of her fault for starting a war and putting her friends in charge of the army. instead she decided she needed to destroy everyone who could ever potentially pose a threat. which is, in her eyes, literally everyone on the continent (except for her kingdom, of course).
so now she is at war with absolutely everyone of all factions! She is also somehow winning by virtue of Song almost on the level of maglor himself, and ten (now six) also incredibly powerful friends. Anyways, she has decided that the best way to wipe out the continent (except her kingdom) and start fresh is to literally find an ancient lost stone that can break the Doors of Night, summon Morgoth himself, and start the Dagorath. obviously this will Not go well for anyone at all if she succeeds, but she is on a full-on rampage and genuinely believes she (plus friends) can protect her kingdom from Morgoth's army while he wipes out everyone else.
Here's some old art of her btw!
And some slightly more recent unfinished art of her and the Evil Friend Group from when they were younger:
and here's (L-R) her cousin who is the 3rd boss, Elinyel, and her sister from before the war!
#asks#THANK YOU FOR THIS BTW#i only have 1 friend irl who plays dnd and is also not affiliated with the campaign#and they aren't a silm person#so i cannot talk w anyone irl about the Lore#one of the few kingdoms who could really oppose her is the magic one#bc max level wizards might as well be ainur and the monarch of the magic kingdom is Very Powerful#however. said monarch is also the twin sibling of one of elinyel's friends#(who is also an evil lich now and also maybe dating a diff friend who is an evil sorceror? not sure of details yet)#so the super powerful battlemage monarch is remaining Politically Neutral so they don't have to fight their literal evil twin#currently the party is level 6 and just defeated the very-weakened wraith of one of the friends#she was a druid but sort of decayed when she was corrupted and was kidnapping untrained/low level sorcs as servants to siphon power from#and also living in the Grove of Resurrection in order to stay intact#i forgot her dialogue while running the battle so while i looked through my docs i just had her say 'loading please wait' lol#also more chatty hobbit stuff#the grove is a huge grassy area with a walking tree in the middle#so the whole thing is constantly roaming aroudn#the wraith-druid had her castle built on it so she could have a moving castle that also heals her#the grassy part will resurrect any dead thing put on it#for the battle they had to drag her off the grass in order to kill her#technically shes been dead for some years but is surviving via constant contact w the grove#the hobbit (Shade) is from the Alder family who has historically been the guardians of the grove#he discovered he could talk to the tree in the middle and immediately started trying to figure out a way he could use the grove to#clone one of the party members#the tree does not approve of intentionally cutting off people's arms to see if it regenerates into a clone lol#oh! and they found anglachel in the grove. the dragonborn monk wants to keep it
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i'm so glad i won't be working with my pi after this month. i think i've reached my limit. i just can't deal with her anymore
#she said 'oh idk if i can make it to your thesis'#SHE IS ON MY THESIS COMMITTEE. SHE'S KNOWN ABOUT THIS FOR A YEARRRRRR#she said she might be on vacation w her bf... instead of going to my fucking thesis defense.#there was a special vote just so she could be on my committee. wdym you have to go on vacation#ALSO i've been asking her to check my calculations for a thing for MONTHS#and she still hasn't. but she made me present on it in front of a bunch of people.#i'd like to note that this calculation is like. the point of my thesis. and she hasn't even bothered to look at it#she forced the interns to work 50 hours last week. they're only being paid for 40.#she hasn't read any part of my thesis... others have but they don't know the details like she does#i told her to read my fucking thesis and she said she had and that it 'looked good'#what does that mean. WHAT does that mean. how do you have no comments. on my thesis. that determines whether i graduate#and then she said i'm ''irresponsible'' bc i went to a concert???#like it didn't affect anything. i showed up to work on time. i completed everything i meant to.#but i guess going to one concert is like. unacceptable.#i'm sooooo sorry i decided to go have fun for one night instead of agonizing about my thesis (that again. she hasn't read)#she asked if i want to give a talk at the new place she got hired at but she now works for fus#which is a incredibly conservative homophobic private catholic university. i've never heard anything positive about it#like they're legally allowed to discriminate against lgbt people... does she know what i fucking look like????#she's so so conservative but she only interacts with other conservative catholics#and doesn't understand how fucking vile her views are. and she wonders why people don't like her#like maybe she should shut the fuck up about how she thinks abortion is a sin at work!!#she once said 'the only time i feel uncomfortable in my skin is when i talk about being a conservative catholic at work'#AND THEN SHE SAID 'it really makes me understand how hijabis feel'#IN FRONT OF MY HIJABI COLLEAGUE. HELLO???? like she is not persecuted for being a conservative catholic#i literally started laughing when she said that. i think i said 'please get real'. and she's still mad#anyway. my colleague decided to no longer work with my pi. idk if it was bc of that comment#she mentioned that once i leave there won't be anyone who understands the data on the project anymore#like yeah. maybe you should've looked at the data. like at all#and not had an unpaid master's student do literally all the work for you
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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been looking in tags for a few days now to see if anyone else found the whole high cloud quintet and related story to be a bit.....poorly written, nonsensical, contradictory, full of plot holes and loose ends, etc. apparently i'm not the only one. (and i'm not even talking about shipping stuff, because any time I saw someone mad about bad writing, someone always replies to be homophobic and laugh about failed ships. weirdos.) it could have been so good but was thrown into the garbage for the most part (IF you noticed all the plot holes and contradiction. if not, then it's a fine enough story tbh. I expect most people to see it on surface level and not read all the little hidden lore bits and try to piece it together like my autistic brain did. which is ok! enjoy it if you liked it and ignore me 😆)
#apparently one of the writers did it on purpose. wont explain here. you can find it elsewhere. but it makes sense now#that's why it fell apart and didnt make sense in the end#ive seem people say anyone mad about it is a shipper and thats why. they use it as an excuse to be homophobes#youre gross get out of thos fandom. im here as someone upset about the story who was very skeptical about any ship theories and focused#more on plot theories and overall friendship and stuff so its not even about shipping you het weirdos!!!#the contradictions and plot holes are bd regrdless of who you ship lmao stop reducing it to that#aure its fine if you ignlre those plot holes. but it happened to be the little plot holes that interested me the most so its obvious to me😅#cant wait until a talented writer in the fandom rewrites the whole story a lot better and fills in the holes and ties up the end better#please someone do this 😭#lee text#hsr#i just wanted a close found family who met a tragic end#my idea for a better way to write it is dan feng wanted free from the high elder cycle and yingxing helped him create a new elder#but it went wrong and failed because the preceptors fed him wrong info hopong it woukd destroy dan feng since they hated him#instead it was yingxing that died and dan feng selfishly brought him back somehow and thats why hes immortal and hates dan heng now#they created a monster in the process that made a mess and baiheng died trying to kill it maybe but hit its weak spot#so it was weaked enough for jingliu to slay it#maybe for a plot twist jing yuan somehow knew the preceptors were up to something and didnt stop the two because#they were too stubborn and he knew it would do nothing#we know the dragon heart disappeared so either it ended becoming bailu in the end#or it could be inaide blade bow. another fun possible plot twist. they never explained where it went so it coukd be a n y w h e r e#i had other ideas but i forget now. bht baiheng deserves better as well. just being a plot mechanism to make two dudes be stupid#is kinda bland and boring and wasted her character. she deserves better too!!!!#id write this if i had the time and brain power but ill hope someone else does it instead#OH yeah i forgot a big idea. dan feng and yingxing perhaps try to also kill the arbor and end the abundance and long life/reincarnation#and maybe that was one part that led to it all going wrong or something. since yingxing wanted revenge on the abundance for destroying#his home and family???? and dan feng wanted to escape the cycle? similar wants that worked together snd failed#these are all ideas from past theories i read and my own ideas i came up with all of which are better than what that bad writer did!#these are very incomplete ideas that im sure someone else can write better#lee rambles
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kind of annoys me sometimes how I can happily listen to my roommate explain the entire plot of whatever she's currently into but when it comes to my interests she can only listen for a few mins before wordlessly walking out of the room
#ive only slept 4 hours and its a sunday so im probably just cranky and getting irrationally annoyed idk.#but i wanted to talk abt revenant gun bc im enjoying it and havent gotten to discuss it w anyone :-(#i dont wanna post on here bc i dont wanna see spoilers and i dont have anything to say that other fans would find particularly interesting#ik half the arcs of the veilguard characters despite the fact ill never play it bc i like listening to her + hearing her opinions#but damn i guess she doesnt gaf shes got better things to do. im not being fair i get we jusr socialise differently n thats fine.#and ik its not true but sometimes i feel like she doesnt like being around me very much bc shes always halfway out the door#and she doesnt suggest we watch shit together anymore n has turned me down the last few times ive suggested it#but ik shes doing shit w other ppl shes always calling n playing games n stuff w other friends so well maybe its a little true#and she acts so strange around me sometimes like she'll move to the other side of the room if i go open the fridge or whatever#like damn girl im not gonna fucking bite u. whats up with the constant 5ft distance. bc u dont ever do that with other friends just me.#and then it pisses me off when it sort of comes up as a side thing to smth else bc it ONLY ever comes up around other ppl she'll never#bring it up directly with me and she'll blame it on me as if we havent had this conversation multiple times where ive explained exactly#why im weird abt shit sometimes and where my boundaries are and what i would like and then nothing at all changes#like last time she brought it up around another friend she was like oh well we can hug more if u want like no we fucking cant bc u act#like we're magnetically repulsed u hate me being in ur space and only tolerate it when we're around other ppl which is why it makes ME#uncomfortable when she does try to be physically affectionate or whatever bc she 100% exclusively does it in front of others#like man u dont have to put on a fucking performance??? or even worse do it just bc u feel guilty abt leaving me out i hate being pitied#even if ik i very obviously do get hurt at being left out. but thats my problem man i would never fuck w someone elses boundaries#i hate hate hate when ppl have inconsistent conditional boundaries and never communicate what the fucking conditions are so theyre#constantly moving the benchposts around and acting unpredictably like how am i supposed to know where they are!!!!!! please#snd then so embarrassing to pointedly say its bc of MY behaviour in front of someone else like oh ok. u couldnt have told me this before.#in private so we could actually communicatr. sorry this has gotten so off track im feeling so gross this morning and everything is#frustrating me im so tired i feel nauseous ughhhh#okay well anyway. got my list of tasks lets just focus on this shit instead before i spend yet another sunday miserably ruminating#.vent#im not actually mad at her or anything like i said we just socialise differently we have different incompatible flavours of autism#and thats not her fault but its just so frustrating that we cant seem to communicate very well. i think im allowed to be frustrated#anyway yeah sorry im leaving it im leaving it. i should go polish my boots before i shower
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also the Biggest Eternalest Moods
#cagey things unite#not a lot is more distilledly; viscerally Autistacity Moments than mordecai in stressed mode italicized Please Don't Touch Me#the striking verisimilitude. let's squop; boys#truly beautiful again that these two have met over brunch & politely declined to interact w/each other in the least. reasonable#real recognition of ''don't bother this person at all Or straightup start shooting'' approach#fun; enriching; perhaps informative to juxtapose these two as well....#for one thing you could count ''did you kill your dad'' handshake b/w them#if you suppose that [mordecai is most driven by grief for atlas] as a ''that was his dad'' kind of situation#sounds like he was off to a terrible start as one if it was predicated by tossing mordecai into the crucible of Learn By Doing hitmannery#but like ''oh perfect you already know your lines'' type [terrible fatherhood? realism points]#though not like we know what mordecai's definite actual dad was like. don't want to insult him. just that he died & all#and maybe also a younger sibling too....noted a Family Photo ft. his mom with a baby in addition to his other younger sisters#and the picture taken by whom. likely as anything his dad then....#personally i lean towards [mordecai kind of in love w/atlas] but many things fulfill the Aggrieved By His Death peak relevant situation#lackadaisy#and i do have that marigold bowling team post fr lol. just have to like; make it#autistic cagey things unite even harder
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had a moment of whimsy followed by a moment of genuine irritation
#i went outside for 20 mins bc i felt like crawling out of my skin and thought swinging alone in the windy weather would maybe help me calm#down just a bit. like a little tiny bit#for the first 5 mins i felt like my heart would burst from the anxiety of being in my neighborhood and ppl seeing me through their windows#i get so weird about existing in public (has an anxiety disorder)#i started swinging aggressively and started calming down a bit#then this little kid got onto the swing next to me and his dad started pushing him#and i could hear the kid laughing through my headphones blasting music#i started smiling without realizing and then made eye contact w the kids dad while smiling 😭#and tjen i took off my headphones bc i felt obligated to say hello just to be polite idk!#and i was like aww how old is heee so cute#the kid was 5#and then the dad was like how about yourself? i went: im 20 haha#and he was like. Oh? i thought you were like 12 years old. 🤨#PLEASE?#and then i was like haha yeah! i get that a lot! (no i don't?)#im actually a uni student#and he asked me what i was studying so i said psych#and he was like yeah youll need a masters there arent any jobs in that with just a bachelor's#and i was like I know right! ill probably get a PhD haha the job market is so horrible!#and then he was like so you live at home? and i was like yeah its so much cheaper!#and then awkward silence i said nice to meet u and got the fuck out of there#like why did he have to tell me i needed a masters Bitch I KNOWWWWWWWWWWWW my life is already falling apart dont remidn em 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#it was way more wholesome when i jjst smiled silently at him and his cute ass chuld#z.post
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i want to know about differences between dalish clans. does vallaslin vary at all between different clans? what about ones that live in wildly different climates? are there dalish clans that don't live primarily in forests, but wander in mountains or deserts?
#please im curious!!!#i really like seeing ppl make dalish ocs incorporating their culture it's always so interesting#so it just kinda got me thinking like#they don't all dress or sound the same! they're all over thedas! except tevinter iirc#or par vollen#i think#some dalish clans might speak the language of whatever place their in instead of common right?#like antivan or orlesian especially if they're particularly isolated#since orlesian is only spoken as a first tongue in certain parts of orlais i believe#and there's the clan in the korcari wilds that speaks fluent elvhen! in the stolen throne!#which is also interesting if you consider their relationship to flemeth like. how much do they know about asha'bellanar#like when merrill says she knows only a little when flemeth asks ''do you know who i am beyond that title?''#what /do/ the dalish know? im sure its on the wiki that part is mostly rhetorical but the clan i was talking about could know more right?#and only a few members of that one speak common according to one of them! the rest speak elvhen!#oh god i used the wrong there in one of those. eugh#i dont care enough to fix it hehe#dragon age#somebody talk abt it w me.... maybe....#dalish#idk what else to tag bye#da#1more#wytxt
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they rlly r being super heavy handed w the messages this season huh 😭
#i dont care that much man. i like that theyre addressing stuff#but it does feel a lot less witty than how theyve done it before#rick stright up just Saying ‘oh yeah im bad at knowing when other ppl r smart’#and the obvious parallel to morty there#i dont MINDDD…. bc u can say its bc of the therapy. making him more able to articulate stuff#vs s3 style ‘maybe you matter so little that i like you’ kind of off hand stuff#i mean. it just feels a littleeee lame tho. esp if theyre not building to anything w it#i still hope the finale can pull thru.#i dont mind them having these little moments but part way thru the ep and then immediately moving on..? sucks#again ik theyve done it like that in the past but thats mostly when its been building throughout the ep#eg wedding squanchers or whirly dirly#that first one being the whole ‘ill never open myself up again’ thing lol#whatverr man it was a fun episode. i just wish they could fully commit to one or the other u know#like whirly dirly Is fun. but the Point is the emotional part between rick and jerry#this one is just a fun ep. u dont Neeeed a hsahtag deep moment every time#again. idgaf as long as they follow theu#ok cool u brought up how rick underestimates morty and thinks it fun to bully him bc of that. DO SMTHHH WITH THIS PLEASE#rnm spoilers
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