#could be the book version game version or Netflix live action version

[voidyyzz]

Grrrghhh i got a The Witcher modern au fic idea I can't use rn so I'm throwing it at yall

(Sorry Adventure Forward moots and oomfs the Witcher brainrot is too strong)

Geralt and Yennefer are Ciri's parental figures, Geralt having adopted her with Yennefer being around long enough for Ciri to get attached. Geralt and Yennefer don't love eachother in *that* way, but they're still close and Yen is fine with being seen as Ciri's "mom". Ciri has assumed the entire time that Geralt and Yen are together which is why she decided Yen would be her new mom, and both Geralt and Yen haven't told her the truth yet since they believe she's too young right now to know.

Though, having to hide it from her might become a bit more difficult, since Geralt has begun to catch feelings for one of the local independent musicians new to town, going by the stage name of Dandelion...

[highfantasy-soul]

Re: Netflix's live-action Avatar the Last Airbender

I was 12 when the animated series started airing.

I caught episodes as they came on Nickelodeon, but I didn’t watch it religiously start-to-finish. I caught episodes when they happened to be on and I happened to be watching TV (I was NOT part of the generation that had unlimited access to shows - tv/computer/video game time was strictly monitored in my household) so there were some episodes I saw over and over again, and others I never did see.

I think it was around middle/high school (honestly can't remember - it was one of the two) that the show got put on Netflix and I started watching it from the beginning with my brother and some friends. Needless to say, I've been a die-hard fan ever since.

I think the animated show is incredibly well done and the storytelling is super on-point for what I love in media. Zuko's redemption arc is still the best arc I've ever seen, and the character growth is amazing.

I had never really fallen into the 'it's not perfect, but…' way of analyzing media, so I never dwelt too much on its flaws - I'd much rather focus on the things it got right as literally every piece of media has flaws and things that could be changed to make it better.

So yeah, hyperbolically, the animated version of ATLA is 'perfect' - but since people insist on anything that's not perfect being drug through the mud and hyperbolically being called 'garbage', I guess I have to dredge up the things I didn't care so much for in the animated version while analyzing how the live-action handled it (or avoided handling it).

I was super excited for the film adaptation - again, announced while I was in high school. I was looking forward to it so much - then, well, we know what happened there.

Things were changed that didn't make sense to change (the pronunciation of character names, the 'test' for figuring out who the Avatar is, the poor bending where movements didn't align to what was happening with the CGI, casting of white people when the characters were always meant to be indigenous and all asian ethnicities, among other issues people have made many essays about)

So, when this was first announced, I was SKEPTICAL.

While the trailer looked good, it seemed very safe - I recognized everything in it and it looked well made, but like, that doesn't mean the whole thing will be good - or justify its existence.

I tried to ignore any 'leaks' or interview quotes because those are always misconstrued so much and people hear one sentence and create a massive narrative in their head about what that sentence means and usually, all their bellyaching assumptions they made from that piece of info is just a non-issue once the show actually comes out.

I didn't give any credence to people screaming about "Sokka isn't going to be sexist anymore?? It's ruined!!" or "They're going for a Game of Thrones tone?? They don't understand Avatar at all!!" or "No side-quests?? They don't understand the point of the show!!"

First off, invoking the demon that is Game of Thrones is just a marketing tactic - that's all it is: MARKETING!! Just like EVERY YA book for years was 'The new Hunger Games' now it's 'The new Game of Thrones' even when the story at hand is NOTHING AT ALL LIKE THOSE THINGS!! It's literally, let me cradle your face gently in my hands, JUST a marketing ploy to get you to see a recent title you DO recognize and have (assumedly) heard good things about (ie popular) so that you then pick up the thing that they slapped that name onto.

Creators rarely have say in what their creation is likened to, they're told by marketing companies to go with it (if they're told anything at all) and they just say "yes, marketing team I have no control over, whatever you say".

Also, a passing comment in an interview is off-the cuff and when someone makes a comment like that, people read WAY too far into it and it's usually not nearly as deep as people make it out to be. That's why I just wait for the actual thing to come out and just watch it and judge it based on what it is, not some narrative someone else has created for it based on half a quote from some random interview.

So going into this: why the live-action adaptation? Why was it necessary?

In my opinion, the answer to this question is the thing many fans hate the most: altering the original story.

A beat-for-beat remake isn't necessary - the original is right there, so in order to 'earn' the right for this adaptation to exist, that necessitates changes to be made that add to the themes, deepen the lore, and delve into different aspects of the world in ways a child's cartoon can't.

So, I'm looking for not a 1-1 remake, but rather an adaptation that enhances the themes, irons out some uneven characterization/pacing, updates the story just enough to really get what they want to across, and delve more directly into some of the harsher aspects of the war.

I have always felt that Iroh's involvement in the Fire Nation military was glossed over a lot in the cartoon - I suspect because he's supposed to be a good guy and we can't have our good guys be overtly war criminals responsible for the deaths of thousands of people.

The effects of hard decisions made during war are shown in the animation, but the decision making process itself is rarely talked about until the very end with the gaang's struggle to keep helping people while also knowing where to focus their energy and Aang's struggle finding a way to stop the firelord without killing him.

something this adaptation can do is actually show the people making the decisions - and directly talking about the horrible effects of it. I'll get to it later, but that's one of the major themes in Episode 4 that I'll talk more on then.

Especially in Book 1, like many first books/seasons, the worldbuilding isn't fully fleshed out and the themes that really come to fruition later aren't as tight as they could be at the beginning. If the adaptation can go ahead and seed/tighten the themes that become big deals later on here at the beginning, it will 'justify' it's existence as the story retold after the whole story has already been plotted out.

Just like with the Percy Jackson and Wheel of Time adaptation, those writing for the show have the benefit of knowing how the story ends and all the stuff that's added to the world building as time goes on that wasn't necessarily known by the authors when they wrote and published the first books - the benefit of hindsight allows the show's script to take into consideration these additions and seed them early on to make the story more cohesive and reinforce themes.

So, this analysis is going to be long and filled with minute details, beat by beat for the episodes.

I have seen so many takes that I just sit and scratch my head at and think 'that was so obvious in the show - how did you miss/misinterpret that thing so wildly?' that I guess what I took for granted as obvious in the show, others didn't, so here's me being pedantic and over-explaining everything so maybe others can see that 1) they aren't the only ones who saw this interpretation and 2) maybe others will see the scenes a different way

Still trying to decide how to break up the analysis as the episode recaps are going to be LONG and since people now demand to see all the citations for stuff, the character analysis posts will be long too as I pull direct scenes to show why I feel the way I do.

I don't want to overload the posts and make it so they're just annoying to read, so I'll probably break them up into the sections of the episodes and maybe break up the character posts.

[Masterlist of my NATLA thoughts]

[grievedifferent]

How do you feel about the dn demo musical depiction’s of Light? Specifically this song where’s the justice, just out of curiosity!

oh man, this is hard for me, and i'm definitely in the minority here. this literally could be just said yes or no but i also cannot not write 100 paragraphs:

i've kind of avoided it really addressing any LA adaption of DN (the best imo was the one that came out when i was in HS but the big deal about that was that the english cast actually did the dub for it and it was a theater release, i also wasn't looking for "good content", i was looking for more death note content in america when streaming wasn't as accessible, manga had to be illegally torrented or bought from a bookstore, etc. i come from a different time of media in a way than what a kid these days would go into. my nephew just got into death note and watched the whole thing right away, whereas i was waiting for releases of episodes and books thus having to sub in any content while i waited for the real thing.

i think childhood restrictions versus as an adult, i can stream any specific death note content i want basically at any time, makes a huge difference in how i perceived this media, thus why i'd "give the original a pass" but even that is ... i mean, it changes a lot, i don't know if light was cast correctly (though i don't really mind their L, i do like that actor so maybe that's a bias thing idk) but basically ... i don't really like any iteration that's live-action of any series that is typically animated. yes, there are exceptions, i think also that there is a divide in animated media of like "this would translate well to the screen in a live adaption format" versus "this looks goofy as hell, we can't make it realistic without diluting it but we can't stay true to the source material without pushing it into almost a goofy uncanny valley scenario that takes away central focus". take a series like ... idk, dbz. that's so hard to make live-action. now, take death note. that should be so easy, ryuk is the most complicated part of this project imo, like most of this story is just two guys' inner narratives fighting (stares into the void of the silence that is death note if you remove the narrative). yet, it always fails, or just never lands, or stays in japan only, etc. americanized versions flop or are taken off the table before they're allowed to really make it through any production. even the bioshock live-action adaptions have been promised for forever (don't get me started on this one haha).

is this to say that i think no animated material should be translated to live-action? not necessarily. but if it was supposed to be live action in the first place, why is the media of animation even necessary? some stories, to me, have to be animated in the way some stories have to be games or have to be novels or have to manga or have to be movies. adaptions are great, i get that, but like ... they usually just miss the mark. it's so rare to get a "live one".

like, ouran should have been easy to make a live-action, but so many of them have failed. arguably, the stage play is solid, which also ... ouran kind of lends itself to that, right? i'm not really considering stage plays as a whole. imo they always have better casting at least aesthetically and the props / costuming / etc is always superior. the yyh live action stage play is way more structurally sound in its aesthetics than the netflix adaption.

here is also my problem generally with other people taking properties in general and remaking them: they're always through a fan's eyes. that's great, i love fans, but also, sometimes i think it's almost better ot have someone that isn't a fan. it allows the lens of fanon to disappear, the fog of headcanon or "i think". sure, some adaptions have had the creators come back, even the original casts, but it's always awkward, isn't it? why is that? because that creator has not cared or touched that property save for some promo images maybe yearly or some callbacks or something because they have moved on. coming back? they aren't in the mindset they were writing it originally. they'll likely want to rewrite and change things. sure, it's "canon" because it's that author, but their intent is likely different now, or they just simply cannot remember the series the way they used to.

so that brings me here:

i was also never a theater person, my taste in musicals is kind of weird maybe or just small ... but getting more diverse bc of otter who lettered in theater LOL so i have more understanding of like what is theater especially compared to like ... what is movie production and tv show production, etc, then splitting into animation versus live action, so. now we're here:

the actual musical. i think that most retellings of death note really just cannot capture yagami's character be it in the acting or the intention. he is written so specifically by ohba and drawn so specifically by obata which is then translated into an animated style that's supposed to reference obata (it falls in that early 2000s thing, give it a pass rip) and basically, aside from maybe glossing up the ending a bit in a way that i think is pretty pivitol (yagami is given no pity in the manga, he's put down more honorably in the anime, which idc about i like that he barks like a dog and cries in the manga, but what i like in the anime is the scene where his dying self passes his younger self ... it's very intense to me). so, then you take mamoru's interpretation of yagami, the first one we get that isn't just text, and it's literally perfect. brad comes in second and nails it. they are arguably different yet so similar, i describe brad as accurately making yagami sound more natural in english than most can when relying on a japanese source. he just gets it, and he intentionally does emulate mamoru. i've spoken to him about this actually.

now, while i might not be a huge theater musical person, i love music. it's my main inspiration! i listen to it daily, it's a huge part of my life, and i'm not a musician at all.

lyrically, i get it. it's a little pointed, but i understand the message. it's fine as a song on its own, it's not like bad to me, but i have such a hard time seeing light as a character that sings. ironically, mamoru and brad can both sing (mamoru sings a lot in his roles, but think tamaki from ouran, while brad was in a band for a long time!). so, in a way, it's not really right or wrong for me to say one way or another that light is a bad singer or a good singer. i can see him having to go to karaoke socially, so maybe he is a good singer, or picks songs just in his range to "appear good enough" to get the pass a pretty boy.

overall, i'm not like anti musicals, nor am i anti-stage plays of anime because i think they're very pretty to look at and some (like mp100's for example) have huge creator input (and he is fresh off that project or was at the time) with like actual mob's VA (who the creator has said is mob) playing mob in the stage play with content that is considered basically exclusive but canon, like they "did something" with that whole stage play to add to the experience of mp100 and made each show different, so like, go all the way or not, right? again, kny, every anime has had a stage play, and typically you'll just see higher production in japan, but i also come from a time where i was pirating live action cutie honey and mirrored animated lucky star on youtube before it was "youtube" as we know it, so maybe my experiences are so specific that it's hard for me to adapt.

i'm so manga and anime focused that it's hard for me to sit here and say "well, i disparage these versions" but i can be at least honest and say that none have (to me) held a candle to the original property. how can you? it's old now, so it's nostalgic, and it's iconic, so it has a lot going for it.

i actually also have to somewhat contradict myself here, i think if ohba went all in maybe something could happen because we see such solid continuity in the one-shots we get every 100 years from him, so idk. this is a rare thing to have, i think. like, look at rumiko and the follow-up series to inuyasha. she's done with inuyasha, so she didn't go back. eithe way, i don't think it would have landed well regardless if she was on the project.

tl;dr: it's not necessarily "for me" but i'm not anti any DN content. i'm just manga first, then anime second for my inspo. if i wasn't, i might go insane keeping track of the details of every iteration, especially playing not only the MC but also other characters (especially BB, he changes depending on where you're sourcing him from, which is why the novel is one of the few fanon pieces i accept as canon bc they make a point to mention it in the anime when it originally listed as "that case" in the manga when L refers to naomi and he working together in the past).

i get why we want more ... but i am also a person who's like "i've seen the story told the way it was intended, it was good the way it was, i liked it as it was, and it's okay for things to end". i'm like this with remakes, too. it's rare that a remake is necessary to me. but i understand the appeal as a logical person, it doesn't not make sense to me why it's a draw in for a crowd.

[megsbooklr]

End of the year book-reading ask game

(Part 1)

1. Did you set a goal for yourself this year? How did you do? If not, why not?

My first goal was to read all the original adventures of Sherlock Holmes - accomplished! :D

My second goal was to read three books with "Sun" in the title: Heart of the Sun Warrior, The Hand of the Sun King and She Who Became the Sun. Partially accomplished - unfortunately I didn't have the time/mood for the last one...

My third goal - book buying ban. Yeah, that went extremely the other way, as I believe this year I actually bought much more books compared to the previous ones... So, I learnt that hard bans are definitely not working for me.

2. Did any book inspire you to seek out further media, such as the movie/show/fanfiction? How did you feel about that take?

After finishing all the Sherlock Holmes books and short stories penned by Arthur Conan Doyle I read the Anthony Horowitz's "official" fanfiction novels - The House of Silk and Moriarty. I absolutely loved The House of Silk, it has the right proportions of secrets, deductions, action, foreshadowing, and cameos :D I could easily accept this story as a part of canon (written in-universe by an elderly Watson). Moriarty, however, was a disappointment, although I understand what it was trying to do - so maybe I just wasn't the right audience, because my disappointment comes rather from personal preferences than objective issues.

3. Did consuming any piece of media inspire you to pick up the book? How did it compare?

A few years ago I watched the Netflix adaptation of The Ghost Bride by Yangsze Choo and I quite liked it, and this year I bought and read the book. The original story was much slower and more detailed, focused on the culture, customs, mythology and beliefs of the people living in that specific time and place, whereas the adaptation was more... action oriented, which makes sense to me. The plots of the book and the drama shared some points, but the characters shared mostly names and partially motivations, but were essentially different people in both versions. In the end I liked both the original book and the adaptation - though I think I prefered book!Erlang :D

4. If you DNF any books, what was the pettiest reason you put a book down this year?

I decided that the amount of techno-babble in The Atrocity Archives is too much even for me with my STEM degrees lol :D

5. What's a scene you read this year that sticks with you?

The ending of Yumi and the Nightmare Painter and the entire last chapter of the sixth volume of The Case Files of Jeweler Richard ^^

[thenightling]

What is The Witcher?

What is The Witcher?

For those reluctant to get into The Witcher because they felt burnt by the Game of Thrones finale (Ha!) I'll explain the plot here.

Easiest explanation for The Witcher = Gender inverted Xena: Warrior Princess.

The Witcher started as a Polish fantasy book series called Wiedźmin (the author actually prefers "Hexer" for an English title translation). It was then adapted into a popular video game series, and a very short lived European TV series that most people did not like, and finally a Netflix TV series.

The Netflix TV series is not Polish and is filmed with American and English actors.

Plot:

First we have Geralt of Rivia, AKA The Witcher.

In this fantasy setting the word Witcher is a term that means Monster Hunter. It more accurately means "Male Witch" but these male witches are trained specifically to be monster hunters.

Geralt of Rivia travels the countryside protecting the innocent from evil. Sometimes the "monsters" are human and he actually defends innocent supernatural creatures against the cruelties of man.

Witchers are feared and often outcasts because they, themselves, aren’t entirely human from the process that made them fit to take on monsters. They are distrusted and treated as outcasts though they are necessary in a world over-run with monsters.

The process that made Geralt a more efficient monster hunter left him with enhanced senses, agility, cat-like yellow eyes, and silver-white hair from a young age. He heals fast from injuries. And he also does not age as humans do.

Geralt wears a silver medallion with a wolf's head sigil. The medallion vibrates when a monster is near by.

Geralt is often accompanied by his bard companion, Jaskier (pronounced as Yass-key-er). When the novels were translated to English Jaskier's name was Dandelion and that's the name he has in the English language video games. Jaskier is Polish for Buttercup so Buttercup would have been the more accurate translation but the Netflix show decided to just have him keep the Polish name.

Geralt's main romantic interest is a sorceress named Yennefer. Both Geralt and Yennefer are quasi-immortal (they don't age the way normal people do but they can be killed).

Geralt accidentally invoked the "Law of surprise" in front of a pregnant Queen (he did not know she was pregnant at the time.) Law of Surprise is sort of like a spell, an invocation of Destiny that something someone doesn't know they have now belongs to you. It could be as simple as a hairpin or a puppy. And because it works like a spell, the invocation is not revocable and it becomes unavoidable. You have to claim the thing.

When Geralt realizes the Queen was pregnant at the moment he invoked "Law of Surprise" in front of her, he flees. Geralt did NOT want to take someone's child so he fled that kingdom.

Twelve years later the kingdom was sieged and the young princess, named Ciri, was the only survivor, thus forcing Geralt to accept his destiny of becoming her adoptive father.

Now Geralt The Witcher (Monster Hunter), Jaskier (the bard), Yennefer (The Sorceress), and Ciri (their adopted daughter) wander the countryside facing evil and protecting the innocent.

Jaskier even earned a name for himself protecting and smuggling Sidhe (called elves in the English version of The Witcher) to safety from human bigotry. Geralt trains Ciri to become a Witcher herself.

And that's the main premise of The Witcher in a nutshell. Currently there are The Witcher novels, video games, short-lived European TV series, comic books, Netflix TV series, and two animated movies. And one live-action TV series spin-off, The Rats. There was also a prequel TV series called The Witcher: Blood origin.

There you go. That's The Witcher.

[feuervogel]

I posted 1,843 times in 2022

That's 378 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (1%)

1,830 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sophiamcdougall

@edgeofpanic

@ironedorchid

@dirtyzucchini

@bossymarmalade

I tagged 1,824 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#cats - 98 posts

#lol - 72 posts

#art by op - 65 posts

#tumblr - 54 posts

#tik toks - 53 posts

#art - 52 posts

#memes - 46 posts

#humor - 33 posts

#uk politics - 28 posts

#hellsite (affectionate) - 28 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#especially since my sister had a completely different relationship with her and wouldn't understand if i talked to her about it

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Recent media viewing

I decided to open up Netflix the other day and watch the Sandman adaptation. It's as good as everyone has been saying it is! And episode 5 has some gross bits that you'll see coming if you're paying attention (also, the nice black lady and her dog don't die, if you're worried about that). The Corinthian is EVEN CREEPIER in live action.

I spent a lot of time thinking "God, that actor looks and sounds familiar" whenever the Corinthian was on screen, but I looked him up and he wasn't in anything else I've seen, so I guess he's just got That Kind Of Face (or at least lower half of it, since he's got dark glasses on 95% of the time.)

While I was on Netflix, they showed me recommendations, as algorithms do, and I browsed the anime selection to see if there was anything to add to my (extremely long) watchlist.

I decided to watch Tekken: Bloodline, because deep in my heart of hearts, I love 2D fighting games. Not at all because I've been a JinHwo shipper since the early 2000s, nope. Anyway, it's a Netflix original, originally voiced in English. The voice acting ranges from fine (Jin, Hwoarang, Nina, Paul) to cringe (Jun, Xiaoyu) to comical (Heihachi), and for some completely unknown reason, Heihachi's assistant uses weeb-Japanese and says "hai" when she could say "yes, sir." (Like, this is the ONLY Japanese in the show. I'm not counting uses of sensei, because that's been borrowed into English as a martial arts term, or the time Paul says "Mishima Zaibatsu," because that's been in the US versions of the game since forever.)

Is it any good? It's not bad... It's basically the plot of Tekken 3, with references to 1&2, with Jin finding out about his family and Heihachi being a total asshole (I mean, duh). The character designs are weird, like their faces are too small for their necks and chins are too pointy, and somehow Jin looks like Heero Yuy in profile. I laughed a couple times (Paul (or maybe Nina): You two are friends? Jin & Hwoarang (unison): NO!) and may be on the way to shipping Jin/Hwo/Xiaoyu because they're ADORABLE.

When I got my new computer for Xmas, it came with a free 3-month trial of Apple TV. I didn't do anything about it until they sent me an email that it would go away if I didn't use it, then I signed up. There's actually a good bit of good stuff on there, so I'm keeping it for 4.99 a month.

Severance: suuuuper creepy SF mystery/thriller? where people can sign up to get implants that sever their work lives from their home lives so they can work on something so secret, even their work-selves don't know what it is. Season 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger that was extremely brave, because S2 hadn't been confirmed yet. (It is now.) It stars the guy from Parks & Rec and guest stars Christopher Walken.

The Essex Serpent: based on a book, apparently. Tom Hiddleston plays a vicar who lives out in the wilds in the 1880s or so; Claire Danes is a recently widowed paleontologist. Hiddles is utterly charming, as always; Danes is a bit flat, as always (I've always liked her, but she has about 2 expressions: confused and sad). There's a doctor who wants to date her, and her BFF/maid ALSO wants to date her, but she's only got eyes for the vicar (who's married, of course). Anyway, she hears rumors of a sea monster in the river and goes to investigate it, which is where she meets the vicar and so on. You can tell it's going to be a romance, but that part is somehow not compelling.

For All Mankind: space race AU where the Soviet Union gets to the moon first and NASA has to catch up. A lot of the real-world timeline is changed in ways that are good (space shuttles! moon base!) and bad (USSR doesn't collapse). In season 3, there is an extremely honest depiction of Gay Life in the 90s and of the within-group politics of assimilation or not. I lived through it (before I knew I was queer, or admitted it anyway), and it still punched me in the gut. We've made so much progress in the last 30 years that it's easy to forget just how terrible it was back then and that Don't Ask Don't Tell was the progressive compromise. It made me think about all the puriteens here on tunglr dot com and the stupid discourse about ~flawed media~ and ~problematique~ stuff. They should watch it and maybe fucking learn some history.

The end of season 3 is dfjhadkjghk;djkhgojwhjdfxhvjh basically and season 4 can't come soon enough.

5 notes - Posted August 20, 2022

#4

G witch ep 6

That was extremely fucked up.

They're speed-running all the super fucked-up bits from UC and 00. Good job.

9 notes - Posted November 6, 2022

#3

I have a very specific request, and I'm sure someone here can point me in the direction of acquiring this. (These, I guess; there are two specific fannish things I've wanted for a while.)

The litany against fear, in its entirety, in calligraphy or similar. Not twee. (I'm not actually into Dune, but having basically cognitive behavioral therapy on my wall might help me with my stupid anxiety.)

The Discworld DEATH bit "to be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape", with or without the rest of the speech. (It's a long speech and would make the piece too busy.) Not twee. Potentially illustrated with silhouettes in the background behind the text.

I have no artistic ability nor any skill at graphic design, and I lack the patience for calligraphy. Thinking about embroidery or cross-stitch makes my fingers hurt. (My mom was an avid cross-stitcher and taught me when I was a kid. I could never hold the needle properly.)

Type of item: poster up to A2 size

Price: up to around 20 € each

13 notes - Posted September 5, 2022

#2

I can't be the only person who wants directors or whoever makes these decisions let Oscar Isaac have his gorgeous salt and pepper hair. A grown-ass man, silver at the temples, charming smile. Please?

Also I saw a comment about Dune that said they "aged him up" to play Duke Leto, and it took everything I had in me not to comment "oh, you mean they didn't make him dye his hair?"

32 notes - Posted January 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Been playing Disco Elysium and I tried on some new pants.

[ID: screenshot from the video game Disco Elysium

YOU - I like regular, normal things.

VOLITION - Mhm, I know you do. These interisolary pants are like wearing a perfect *compromise* in your nether regions. No one will call the Moralintern on you like this, that's for sure.

You're a little more moralist now, buddy. A little more *normal*. Even if you didn't want to be.

COMPOSURE [Medium: Success] - Makes sense. This is what wearing boring office trousers does to you.

end ID]

39 notes - Posted November 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[its-only-v]

Everything I'm watching this March

Or planning to, anyway.

This list is quite long. 9 new shows, 4 returning shows, and 3 movies. It's not an exhaustive list of everything that's coming out but it is everything that I'm looking forward to watching.

Our Flag Means Death S01 - March 3 on HBO Max

Taika Waititi's new series about a gentleman pirate starring Rhys Darby, Taika Waititi himself, Fred Armisen, and more. It'll definitely be hilarious, just like everything else with Taika's magic touch (you know they'd do a joke about a magic touch in What We Do in the Shadows)

The Dropout S01 - March 3 on Hulu

Amanda Seyfried plays Theranos founder Elizabeth Holmes in this biography series. There's a bunch of documentaries but given the scale of the fraud, I'm not surprised they're making a dramatized version of it.

The Boys: Diabolical S01 - March 4 on Prime Video

A spinoff of The Boys was inevitable but I didn't expect it to be an animated series that has a bunch of different styles. But it is The Boys and it's called Diabolical, so expectations are high on this one.

Pieces of Her S01 - March 4 on Netflix

Toni Collette playing a mother with a dark past. There's secrets, mystery, and definitely something criminal going on. It's an adaptation of a book that I hadn't heard about but it looks interesting.

Outlander S06 - March 6 on Starz

Can you believe it's been two years since the last season of Outlander? Caitríona Balfe is returning as Claire and Sam Heughan as Jamie. It's also going to be the second-last season of the show.

The Adam Project - March 11 on Netflix

Ryan Reynolds is playing a time-travelling pilot who teams up with himself as a kid and his dead father. Why not? I'll take a sci-fi movie with him in it where he doesn't die in the first act of the movie despite being heavily featured as a lead from the promos (I won't spoil which one it is, but if you know, you know).

Upload S02 - March 11 on Prime Video

Upload was one of the most fun sci-fi things I had seen in a long time. A virtual heaven where your consciousness 'lives' after you die? I mean, come on, it's a great concept. And Robbie Amell and Andy Allo had chemistry, even with one of them being a virtual consciousness and the other being alive. I was worried it wouldn't be renewed but it was and now it's returning after 2 years.

WeCrashed S01 - March 18 on Apple TV+

WeWork had a lot of drama behind the scenes so I'm looking forward to seeing their rise and fall in this show. It also has Jared Leto and Anne Hathway playing a couple at the center of it all, which is... interesting.

Fresh - March 18 on Hulu

It's already premiered at some festivals and got some interesting reviews. While the trailer doesn't say it, but there's a lot of winking going around with the title, the logline, the poster, and the select quotes they've been promoting to tell you Sebastian Stan might not be playing a regular old love interest for Daisy Edgar-Jones in this movie.

Windfall - March 18 on Netflix

IMDB's tagged it as a crime-drama-thriller but from the trailer, it looks like it has some dark humor too. It's about a break-in that goes wrong and it has Jesse Plemons, Lily Collins, and Jason Segel, three actors I definitely wanted to see in something together but didn't know I did until I watched it.

Halo S01 - March 24 on Paramount+

Could Halo be the rare good video game adaptation? I'm looking forward to finding out. Sci-fi and action are usually a good combination and it has Pablo Schreiber playing Master Chief.

Atlanta S03 - March 24 on FX/Hulu

Atlanta began in 2016 and it's been three long years since the second season came out. This season has been a long time coming since Donald Glover, LaKeith Stanfield, Brian Tyree Henry, and Zazie Beetz have been quite busy but it's finally returning.

Pachinko S01 - March 25 on Apple TV+

This book was a sensation when it came out in 2017. It won a bunch of awards, Roxanne Gay called it her best book of the year, it was on a ton of best-of lists. It follows four generations of a Korean family that emigrates to Japan. Apple bought the rights back in 2018 so it's been a long time in the making. The Terror's co-showrunner Soo Hugh is the showrunner, writer, and an executive producer and it stars Youn Yuh-jung, Lee Min-ho, Jin Ha, and Anna Sawai.

Bridgerton S02 - March 25 on Netflix

Bridgerton was one of Netflix's most popular shows and season 2 has been long awaited. In addition to everyone from season 1 returning, there are also a ton of new additions to the cast - Simone Ashley, Charithra Chandran, Shelley Conn, Rupert Young, Calum Lynch, Rupert Evans, and Austin the corgi.

The Girl From Plainville S01 - March 29 on Hulu

This show is inspired by Michelle Carter's unprecedented "texting-suicide" case. It's Elle Fanning's first role since she started playing Catherine the Great in The Great. I'm a little apprehensive about how they'll approach it but I'll definitely be giving it a watch.

Moon Knight S01 - March 30 on Disney+

Everyone's heard of Moon Knight and Oscar Issac, so you don't need me to say anything about it.

[longitudinalwaveme]

The CW Rogues: My Biggest Gripe With the 2014 Flash Show

In many ways, the CW Flash show is what got me into comics. While I had watched (and loved) Justice League and Justice League Unlimited and read loads of DC guidebooks as a kid, it wasn’t until I saw a clip from the 2014 CW Flash show that I really got invested in the DC Universe. While I had already started watching B:TAS (and loving it), Batman wasn’t what got me into comics. No, that was the Flash...or rather, it was Captain Cold. While watching a clip from the Justice League episode Flash and Substance on YouTube, I saw a link to a clip from “Family of Rogues” (from Season 2 of CW’s Flash). Intrigued by the premise, I found the show on Netflix, watched the entire episode, and was hooked. Not only was the Flash just as nice as he had been on Justice League, but two of his Rogues were siblings, and they actually cared about one another. I wanted to know more, so I looked Captain Cold and the Golden Glider up. My research into Cold and Glider led me to the other Rogues, and soon I became a Flash fan. I watched the show, I re-watched “Flash and Substance”, I read articles about the characters from the comics...and eventually, I started reading the comics themselves. I loved the characters and the lore, and I enjoyed the generally lighthearted tone of the books even into the modern era. Unfortunately, as I learned more about the comics, I grew less and less interested in the 2014 TV show. It made too many alterations to character I liked in the comics...and eventually, I basically stopped watching the show out of frustration. Ironically enough, by getting me into comics, the show alienated me from itself....and a big reason for that was the way it handled the Rogues. Here’s a rundown of the CW Rogues, and why I was frustrated with most of them. 

1. Captain Cold. I actually enjoy Captain Cold on the CW show; he’s recognizable as Len Snart and his sarcasm game is on point. (It doesn’t hurt that Wentworth Miller is really attractive, either). His relationships with Lisa, Mick, and Barry are fantastic, and it’s a relief to have him be treated as a competent threat. That being said...he’s a bit too suave for Captain Cold, isn’t he? Silver Age Cold thought he was suave, but he wasn’t; and modern Captain Cold is middle-aged, grouchy, and very rough around the edges. His smooth, suave nature reminds me more of classic Sam (the original Mirror Master) than Captain Cold. 

2. Heat Wave. Dominic Purcell did a great job with the role he was given, and physically he’s an excellent match for Mick. That being said, CW Mick is very different from the Mick in the classic comics, who was a bit dim-witted and rather gentle and sweet for a supervillain. CW Mick, by contrast, is, as I think @gorogues put it, “Hothead McAngryman”, which wouldn’t be so bad if it didn’t seem to have bled back into the comics themselves. Villains with fire powers being hotheads is a bit overdone, so I’m not thrilled to see comic Mick being put into that role. 

3. Golden Glider. Hands down, Lisa is my favorite of the CW Rogues. Despite the fact that her costume and power set are completely different than they were in the comics, they managed to get her personality down pretty well; making her just as dangerous and competent as the boys. Flirtatious, crafty, devious, and yet still at least somewhat sympathetic, the CW version of Lisa Snart takes home the gold for the best adaptation of a Rogue. If only they hadn’t completely forgotten that she existed. 

4. Pied Piper. Note that I have not seen his Season 6 appearance, so I’m just judging this based on his appearances in Seasons 1 and 2. Piper is disappointing; in his first appearance he wasn’t as fun as Silver/Bronze Age Piper or as sympathetic as modern Piper, and I’m not crazy about the idea of him being motivated primarily by revenge on Wells/Thawne, since that wasn’t his motivation in the comics at all. I also don’t remember him being able to puppet or hypnotize people with his music, which is too bad, since that’s his main schtick in the comics. What’s more, if you want to reform a character, don’t do it offscreen via reality warping and then forget about him for four seasons. It sounds like his Season 6 appearance was better, but I haven’t seen it so I can’t comment on it. Also, “the Pied Piper” is kind of a nonindicative name if he doesn’t play a pipe/flute. 

5. Trickster II (Axel Walker). Axel was actually decent in the CW show. I still like comic Axel better, but they got the gist of his character down and even made him a bit sympathetic. In fact, he’s probably in the top three best Rogue adaptations that the CW did. 

6. Trickster I (James Jesse). I love watching Mark Hamill play CW’s Trickster...but man, he is not playing Giovanni Giuseppi on the CW show. He’s playing the Joker with a different name. It’s especially weird since we know from JLU and that one short where Mark Hamill plays himself, the Joker, the Trickster, and Swamp Thing that Hamill can do a non-Joker Trickster and do it well, so my suspicion is that it was just because Trickster was also the Joker in the 1990s Flash show (where he was also played by Mark Hamill). Regardless, murdering random people and threatening to blow up small children during Christmas is not something the Trickster should be doing. 

Although this does prove Mark Hamill could do a live-action Joker. I’d pay money to see that. Mark Hamill is a great Joker. 

7. Weather Wizard. CW Weather Wizard isn’t egregiously bad. He’s not out-of-character like Trickster, and he’s not boring to watch, but at the same time it feels like there’s something missing. Maybe it’s because he doesn’t quote Twain. Maybe it’s because there’s not the sense that he was a loser before he got his powers. Maybe it’s because they changed his origin completely (and also made him older than Clyde for some reason). It could even be because he’s not wearing a green leotard with a huge collar, puffy sleeves, and ridiculous elf boots. Whatever it is, though, he’s just missing that spark that makes me like comic book Wizard so much. 

8. Mirror Master I (Sam Scudder). I don’t know how you make Sam Scudder more boring than New 52/Rebirth did, but somehow the CW version of the character pulled it off. Granted, Cold had already stolen some of Sam’s characterization, so that didn’t help, but they could’ve leaned into his skills as an inventor or his love of showmanship or something. Instead, we got a generic thug with what was basically Evan McCulloch’s power set. Boo! Boo I say! 

9. Top (Roscoe/Rosa Dillon). The Brave and the Bold Top is more interesting than the CW version, and he doesn’t even have spoken lines! That’s how boring this Top is. Also, the gender swap was pretty pointless. I wouldn’t have minded a female Top if she’d been intelligent and creepy and snobbish in the way that Roscoe is, but why even bother changing the gender if the character is going to have such a minor role? They also substantially depowered the CW Top, since Rosa can’t spin at super speed and isn’t telekinetic. A massive missed opportunity. 

10. Mirror Master II (Evan/Eva McCulloch). I can’t comment on how good of a character Eva is, since I haven’t watched any of the episodes with her in them, but I will say I am disappointed that the character does not seem to be Scottish, does not have Evan’s weird sense of humor, and lacks his tooth gap. 

11. Captain Boomerang (George “Digger” Harkness). Not only did he not actually appear on the Flash, but he was also boring and didn’t even seem to have an Australian accent. I was very disappointed with his role in the CW. 

And now for characters who aren’t Rogues: 

-CW Eobard is really good. I have no real complaints about him. 

-CW Grodd is also really good, though I do wish he was from Gorilla City as per the comics rather than a lab experiment. 

-CW Magenta got most of the important character beats down but felt a bit out of place with Barry as the Flash. 

-CW Shade was possibly even more boring than CW Sam, which is saying something. 

-CW Zoom didn’t really feel like Zoom at all. Not only was it weird to see him fighting Barry and not Wally, but he was just a generic serial killer and didn’t have Zolomon’s unique outlook on the world. The loss of his time manipulation powers was likewise disappointing.

-CW Jay is really good. I love him. 

-CW Jesse Quick has very little in common with her comic book counterpart; I like the comic version better but don’t actually mind the CW version all that much.

-CW Wally is decent enough, though I don’t see why they couldn’t have kept him as Iris’ nephew rather than making him her brother. Also, they didn’t use him nearly as much as they should have. 

-CW Barry I generally like a lot; Grant Gustin is a good fit for the character. That being said, I do wish they hadn’t given him the dead mom origin, which was a retcon I am not fond of. 

-CW Iris is quite good (in the first three seasons, at least); she’s intelligent, loyal to Barry, dedicated to her job, and quite independent. The fact that she and Barry were foster siblings in the CW universe is kind of weird, though, since it makes their romance kind of awkward. 

-Joe West is not Ira West (Iris’s father in the comics), but I actually don’t care. Joe West is made of awesome. (I like Ira too, but I like Joe enough that I don’t mind having him replace Ira.)

-The Fiddler on the CW had very little to do with the comic Fiddler. 

-I’ve never been particularly invested in the Thinker (comic or show), but I will say that the CW’s version of the character was very different from his comics counterpart. 

-CW Ragdoll was just as creepy and unsettling as comic book Ragdoll, though he had a very different backstory. 

-I never expected Baby Josh to make it into the CW, let alone as a gender-swapped teenager named Joss who wanted to kill Weather Wizard. It felt like they never knew where to go with her character, though, so it was a wasted opportunity. At least she didn’t die like poor Baby Josh, though. 

-Big Sir in the CW show is a MASSIVE improvement over the comic version. This is probably the only character I will say this about. Though I will say that I kind of wish he’d gotten his stupidly ugly comic book costume even though it would’ve made no sense. 

-Peek-a-Boo is a pretty solid adaptation of her comic book counterpart. 

-Rainbow Raider (Prism) is much better in the comics than on the CW show, where he only existed to be a boring plot device. 

-Linda Park dating Barry was weird, but they actually did a good job with her character before she vanished.

This is not intended as a criticism of anyone who likes the show or its characters; it’s just me musing about my personal problems with it. 

[annarellix]

Born for Trouble: The Further Adventures of Hap and Leonard by Joe R. Lansdale

My Review (5): I don't think there's a specific category for Hap&Leonard stories: they are gripping thriller and very funny at the same time. They feature a copy of likeable characters who are also excellent PIs. This is a collection of novellas and it's another page turner I couldn't put down. Almost all the stories were new to me and I had a lot of fun: there's action, gore, and plenty of humour. I assume that Hap&Leonard is a sort of bookish cult and I know plenty of Italian that love this series and consider it their favorite. As I'm a member of this cult I think that more people should be reading this stories as they're well plottted, highly entertaining, and a lot of fun. That said I strongly recommend this book. Many thanks to Tachyon Publications for this arc, all opinions are mine

The Book: In Edgar Award winner Joe R. Lansdale’s newest Hap and Leonard story collection, the boys are back, with more righteous ass-kickings, highly improbable adventures, and disastrous fishing trips. These never-before collected tales showcase the popular not so dynamic duo, who are a little bit older, but not a whole lot wiser—Hap and Leonard were truly born for trouble.

When you meet him, Hap Collins seems just like a good ol’ boy. But even in his misspent youth, his best pal was Leonard Pine: black, gay, and the ultimate outsider. Together, they have sort of found their way as partners in crime-solving—and, at least as often, as hired muscle. In these latest adventures, the boys continue their crime-solving shenanigans as they uncover the sordid secret of a missing bookmobile, compete in a warped version of the Most Dangerous Game, regroup after Hap’s visit to the psychologist goes terribly awry, and much more. So sit yourself back and settle in—Born for Trouble is East Texas mayhem as only the master mojo storyteller Lansdale could possibly tell.

Book page: https://tachyonpublications.com/product/born-for-trouble/

The author: “A folklorist’s eye for telling detail and a front-porch raconteur’s sense of pace.” —New York Times Book Review Joe R. Lansdale is the internationally bestselling author of more than fifty novels, including the popular, long-running Hap and Leonard series. Many of his cult classics have been adapted for television and film, most famously the films Bubba Ho-Tep and Cold in July and the Hap and Leonard series on Sundance TV and Netflix. Lansdale has written numerous screenplays and teleplays and has won the Edgar Award and ten Stoker Awards.  He has also been designated a World Horror Grandmaster. Lansdale, like many of his characters, lives in East Texas, with his wife, Karen, and their pit bull, Nicky.

Social Links: Site: http://www.joerlansdale.com/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/joelansdale

Contact: Kasey Lansdale, Publicist   kasey@tachyonpublications.com   415.285.5615

[snooziep]

Challenge Game (Now 55 Questions)

Rules: Answer all questions, add one question of your own and tag as many people as there are questions (not happening)

Tagged by @katsdisturbed (hey kat *waves*, just realising we have known each other coming up 10 years!!!!!!)

1. Coke or Pepsi: bleurgh neither 

2. Disney or Dreamworks: disney 

3. Coffee or Tea: tea 

4. Books or Movies: oof it’s like sophie’s choice (of which i prefered the book!) too hard.  

5. Windows or Mac: windows - never tried a mac though 

6. DC or Marvel: like kat, I am a marvel girl

7. Xbox or Playstation: playstation i guess.  i don’t really do gaming.  i had an original playstation and used to play tomb raider and hogs of war but we are talking 30 years ago. gave it to my nephew as a retro gift a few years back

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: no idea what those are 

9. Night Owl or Early Rise: early riser 

10. Cards or Chess: cards 

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate (taste) vanilla (smell) 

12. Vans or Converse: converse but i can’t wear them anymore due to requirement for orthopedic footwear hahahaha

13. Lavellan, Trevelyan, Cadash or Adaar: huh?

14. Fluff or Angst: even after 10 years on here, i don’t really know what those terms exactly relate to

15. Beach or Forest:  forest i think.  i love the sea and the coast but not so much sitting on the beach. 

16. Dogs or Cats: rats 

17. Clear Skies or Rain: both 

18. Cooking or Eating Out: eating out. 

19. Spicy Food or Mild Food: spicy 

20. Halloween/Samhain or Solstice/Yule/Christmas: christmas (sorry @ladyk23 and @fishcustardandclintbarton)

21. Would you rather forever be a little too cold or a little too hot: too cold every time 

22. If you could have a superpower, what would it be? agreeing with kat once more, teleportation would be nice - i like the idea of being on a nice holiday, but sleeping in my own bed.  

23. Animation or Live Action: live action 

24. Paragon or Renegade: *shrugs*

25. Baths or Showers: baths 

26. Team Cap or Team Iron Man: team cap 

(oops i deleted 27)

28. Do you have three or four favourite quotes? If so, what are they: “they don’t know we know they know we know!” “knowledge is power and france is bacon” “i said “fuck that”” (tom petty to his doctor on being told he’d have to quit playing the guitar)

29. YouTube or Netflix: netflix 

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: never seen or read percy jackson, and i do love a bit of harry

31. When You Feel Accomplished: hmm, when i have put all my washing away?

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: star wars i guess 

33. Paperback Books or Hardback Books: paperback (although these days, audible) 

34. Handwriting or Typing:  i can touch type and my handwriting is awful but i do like to read hand written things.  

35. Velvet or Satin: velvet 

36. Video Games or Movies: movies

37. Would you rather be the dragon or own the dragon? breathe fire and fly!!! yes please 

38. Sunrise or sunset: sunrise 

39. What’s your favourite song? the impossible question again.  i do love david bowie’s version of wild is the wind beyond words.  but when i start thinking about it i can add another 100 to that list.  right now i am flipflopping between “ode to billy joe” and “yes sir i can boogie” that may give an indication of my tastes!

40. Horror Movies yes or no: sometimes.  more psychology than gore please

41. Long hair or short hair: on me? short 

42. Opera or Theatre: theatre 

43. Assuming the multiverse theory is true and every story ever told has really happened somewhere, which one of the movie/book/tv show/game/etc worlds would you pick to travel to first? hmm i don’t watch/read a lot of fantasy so i don’t have a lot of references here, but the planet in “the book of strange new things” would be fascinating to see  

44: If you had to eat only one thing for the rest of your life what would it be? cheese

45: Older guys or young guys? hmm the pool of “older” is dwindling haha 

46: If you could erase any show from TV history, what would it be? anything with ricky gervaise

47: Singing or dancing? singing

48: Instagram or Twitter? instagram. i don’t do twitter

49: What quote or saying do people spout but is complete BS? it’s like taking candy from a baby 1. it’s mean 2. they can grip on pretty tight 3. who wants candy a baby has been drooling all over?

50: If there was a time period that you would gladly time travel to to live or visit, what would it be? stealing ancient rome from kat - yeah that sound kinda cool

51: If you could take one fictional character into this world to live with you and what not, under the contingency that the movie/book/tv/game universe they came from acts as if they never existed, who would it be and why? not sure i understand the question - i take a character and they are removed from the thing i took them from?  hmm let’s see i shall take aaron cross from the bourne legacy for plenty of whatnot

52: What’s the story behind your tumblr account? i developed an interest in jeremy renner (i was in need of a rebound guy and couldn’t be arsed with the stress of finding a “real” one) and kept finding links to tumblr so decided to join. and am very glad that i did.  it’ll be 10 years this autumn and it still makes me smile.  delighted to have met some of you irl and who knows, one of these days someone may compliment me on my shoelaces!!!  

53: If you were suddenly rendered invisible for the day (your clothing also, you don’t have to be naked… unless you want) what is the most mischievous thing you would do? now you have mentioned the naked thing, i think just strolling around naked and unnoticed.  that sounds kind of freeing

54: If you could travel anywhere (cost is not a factor), where would you go?   new zealand, at the same time as kat!!

55: What are your 3 favorite book character? harry hole, jackson brodie, jack caffery

[anotheruserwithnoname]

What am I looking forward to?

I get asked what I’m looking forward to in terms of entertainment as 2021 trundles along. I thought I’d put together a list of my thoughts of the things I have marked on my calendar (or am prepared to buy, as the case may be!)

Klokkenluider, The Sandman, The War Rooms: Obviously I’d be failing at my duty to not include Jenna Coleman’s trio of upcoming projects! I have a confession - I’ve yet to watch all of The Serpent, too. Hoping for a DVD or (even better) Blu-ray release of that later in the year too. UK has one already. Netflix does release many of its shows to permanent media so hopefully The Serpent will be one of them (ditto Sandman and War Rooms down the line).

Free Guy: the much-delayed video game-based film starring Ryan Reynolds and Jodie Comer. Reminds me of Ready Player One, which was one of my favourite films of the last few years. And it’s the first leading film role for Jodie Comer from Killing Eve and it looks like she might be playing a nerdy version of Villanelle (without all the murdery sociopathic stuff; at least, I assume!). 

No Time to Die: Some aspects of the trailers have me concerned, and whenever I hear people talk about “new directions” I get antsy because that rarely ends well. But this is Bond and while there has been the occasional poor 007 film in the past (A View to a Kill and Quantum of Solace are the only Bond films I dislike and avoid; not a bad ratio out of 25) the odds of me liking it are pretty good (hell, I even consider Spectre to be one of the best Bonds ever, and I know that’s unpopular opinion). I was concerned about Phoebe Waller-Bridge being one of the writers due to my opinion that Fleabag is overrated (I know, another unpopular opinion), but that was before I saw her work on Killing Eve. If she brings some of that spirit to the film, it’ll work. Some of the things people are complaining about don’t bug me, especially regarding the 007 designation which belonged to somebody else before the events of the 2006 Casino Royale film and in all likelihood they’ll reboot continuity with whoever follows Daniel Craig anyway so none of that matters. They could kill Bond off and it wouldn’t make a difference.

Lower Decks Season 2: Speaking of unpopular opinion, Season 1 was one of the most pleasant surprises of last year. I think the backlash against Lower Decks is primarily a case that, for many fans, their dislike and disappointment of the current state of the franchise is so high that even if they do something good, it’s rejected automatically. I’ve given up on Discovery, have little interest in Picard (I had good things to say about it last year but it’s not aged well) and don’t care to see Strange New Worlds. So I was prepared to pooh-pooh on Lower Decks (I could have worded that a bit more elegantly; I dedicate that to Seth McFarlane) but, while it’s obviously a non-canon spoof, it still feels like Trek, which I cannot say for the current live-action shows. Basically that means it’s The Orville done for Star Trek. Which is fine, because it works better than Discovery’s and definitely Short Trek’s attempts at Orvilling (which in my opinion was about as entertaining as gerbilling - did I type that out loud?). And I think Beckett Mariner is the most interesting lead character of a Trek series in years. Speaking of The Orville...

The Orville Season 3: It’s in Red Dwarf territory right now in terms of it taking forever between seasons, and I am worried that being on Hulu might make it too edgy and turn away the many who latched onto it because Discovery was too edgy. But I have faith in Seth McFarlane, so eventually we’ll see it. If not, maybe I’ll give Avenue 5 a shot. Oh, and I am expecting Season 3 to be the end. It feels like getting it made - even taking C19 into account - was very difficult this time around and McFarlane sounds like he has a lot on his plate. If it does end, I hope somebody continues it in novel or comic book form (the comics have been incredible - seriously some of the best tie-ins I’ve read in years, and they’re canon too apparently thanks to being written by the show’s producer).

Magnum PI Season 4: It’s a sweet show and I watch it for the Magnum-Higgins ship (which is currently following the Clara-Danny trajectory). And I keep hoping co-star Perdita Weeks is able to recruit BFF Jenna Coleman to appear someday. So there’s that.

Legends of Tomorrow Season 7 and the conclusion of Supergirl Season 6. Another unpopular take is I happen to really like these two CW shows. Supergirl is calling it a day after 6 seasons, with the final season split into two parts, with the second half airing later this summer. Legends is still midway through S6 but has been renewed for a 7th. Both are fun, with Legends literally being the only show on TV that is legitimately unpredictable (seriously, this past week was a riff on Baby Yoda of all things - and no, Beebo was a riff on Furby. Different merch magnet, pay attention.), plus it’s most likely (IMO) the reason why John Constantine the character is unavailable for The Sandman series (which opened the door for Jenna Coleman to be cast as his ancestor Johanna, which is fine by me!).

Killing Eve Season 4: obviously. It’s only because of Jenna Coleman that you’re not getting wall-to-wall Jodie Comer on this blog. If she and Jenna are ever cast together in anything, I might need to call an ambulance.

Peter Capaldi’s debut album. It’s about time! No it’s not, that would be silly. And I don’t want to thank C19 for creating the circumstances that led to Peter doing a record. But still - a Peter Capaldi album is coming. It just better not be digital-only. I want to see him on the New Release rack at Sunrise Records.

So looks like I have a lot of stuff to occupy my time coming up!

[onthemeander]

ACOTAR Review

I have to start off by just mentioning that this book was heavily suggested to me. I only ever heard praise of the plot, characters, and the romantic message at its core. I feel this needs to be brought up because it was the fuel for the utter frustration I felt while reading this book. A frustration at my core that drove me to write my first ever review, so thanks for that.

Let’s start with the Pros of this book.

It is an easy read. I can inhale 300 pages in only two days. It is a good relaxing read if that’s what you are looking for. The kind of book you can curl up with on a rainy Sunday and just pass the free time if you're burned out on binging Netflix.

Okay, that’s it for the Pros. Now onto the Cons.

This book, a loose reimagining of Beauty and the Beast, feels like it has been written by a 50 shades of grey fan who hates Disney princess movies because the princesses are not “tough” enough. This novel comes off as the edgy version of a fantasy world that wants to include all the dark sides of life but doesn’t want to address the life long lasting implications of those dark actions. I am looking at you Ryhsand. Oh and I will go in on him later but first let's talk about our heroine.

Feyre is a young girl whose family has fallen onto hard times and it is her single minded goal to keep them all alive. They live hand to mouth, off the game she manages to hunt in a rather inhospitable forest. One day while trying to kill a Doe she sees a massive wolf and decides to kill it as well, as it was making eyes at her doe and a girl is hungry.

She kills the massive creature and takes both animals home to skin and prepare for meals. The money and food ensuring that her family won’t starve for at least a few weeks if they ration properly. Days later another more terrifying monster comes to her cottage, a Fairy in beast form by the name of Tamlin, who says she killed his friend. Now, because she killed a fairy, she can either die or come live with him for the rest of her life. She takes the later… obviously.

Feyre is a fine enough protagonist, bland enough that you can imagine yourself in her position and fantasize about having two hot men chasing you. In my younger years, I would have happily daydreamed about being in her world, surrounded by magic but being personally skilled enough to not need the aid of magic.

A pet peeve, a totally personal bias, is that to her everything is just the worst. Her Sisters are awful, her dad useless, the cottage disgusting, hunting she hates it, the fairies vile, the Spring Court a prison, and so on. The issue isn’t so much that she has a negative mindset, that is human and that can make for an interesting shade of protagonist but in this novel, it is so one-note. Everything is described with the same level of disdain. Which makes moments where she talks about having to protect her family or Tamlin honestly confusing because with how little she seems to like them the reader is left wondering why? Because of a promise she made? To a mom she hates?

Listening, family relationships are complicated. The best line I’ve heard about a relationship similar to Feyre’s, comes from the movie Ladybird, where the titular character tells her mother “I know you love me but I don’t think you like me.” Maybe it’s the fact it’s a movie and the way it is said but it is hurt there. There is a pain in the girl’s voice that her mother and she are at odds.

Feyre at no point talks about the personal pain that comes from being so distant from her family. She just resents them. Even a short moment of remembering the better days, little memories of when her and Nestia playing together as kids or Elane showed her something in the garden. Something that shows that there is, even for the briefest moment love in these relationships.

Without those moments, Feyre’s flip-flopping between going home and staying at the Spring Court feels more like padding to extend a book that saved all of the interest for the last 3rd.My bigger issue with Feyre is she doesn’t seem to really think so much as exist and react in the world. For a series that many have commended for being about feminist agency, Feyre lacks more agency than a rock in a river. At least then the water has to move around the rock.

A story based around Beauty and Beast is always going to bring into question the nature of female agency. This French fairy tale was written in 1740, in a women's magazine, meant to help teach girls about their ultimate futures. In a society where women were the property of fathers and husbands. It urged girls to look at their “beastlike” husbands and try to find the good in them. To become okay with the fact that who they marry might treat them terribly but means well… maybe this book is a perfect adaption of that idea, but I digress.

Feyre is whisked away to this magical world and through her, we learn about the fairy world. A world of violence, court games, and so much sexual assault.

While in the spring court she is tricked by a mirage of her father, nearly eaten by Naga’s, threatened multiple times by basically everyone, sees a fairy die from its wings being ripped off, finds a severed head in the garden, and so on. Whenever she expresses confusion on what is happening there is always a Fairy there to monologue away the day with detailed pages long exposition.

She readily accepts any explanation of the fairy world a man, in particular, tells her. Its exposition for the readers but for a girl who has grown up in a world that believes fairies are violent and enslave humans she is so quick to accept everything they tell her. She doesn’t stop and questions intentions and if she does wonder about the intentions of a character she usually ends on the side of being favorable to them, l especially if they are attractive.

It's clear that Feyre isn’t there to be a character but a vehicle, an avatar for the reader to travel from point A to B. She never reacts to things in a way that a person of this world with such polarized groups would react to being forced to live in the enemy camp.

Then there is Tamlin. He is fine. Your standard brutish romantic interest that is cursed to be ugly forever, by way of the phantom of the opera mask. He is demanding and haughty and thinks he knows better than everyone. Your standard High Lord ego makes for the verbal back and forth that toes the line between sexual tension and toxic relationships.

He does that standard bodice-ripping shtick, while hopping up on fairy dust, he pins Feyre to the wall and bites her neck. She says no, he ignores and then runs off. With a lovely little moment later blaming her for leaving her room, therefore, he can't be held responsible.

While Feyre has probably never listened to a single rule in her life that is still a huge red flag.

Lucien, an interesting play on the Beast’s servants. He is torn between wanting Feyre around to break the curse but also hating her for killing a friend. Honestly, I think this could have been the most interesting relationship if there was more time devoted to it. That happens a lot in this book, interesting things happen too fast and a lot of time is just devoted to Feyres’ water bowels.

Finally Ryhsand, oh dear Rhy, how I wish I could cut you from my mind just as easily as you pop other Fairies brains. Rhys is not a bad character but his introduction into the book is right when this 400+ novel went from bland but inoffensive to outright infuriating. He is the triple threat of assault; Mental, Physical and Sexual.

We first meet the Lord of the Night Court at the Fire Festival (or in honor of Maas naming conventions Fyre) where he saves Feyre from a trio of Fairies that wanted to assault her. A fine enough intro, maybe a bit overused, but I liked the Howl’s moving castle vibes with the playboy swagger and not knowing why this guy is helping at all.

I was excited at first when he showed up, I couldn’t help but get online and see what fans had to say about the books and instantly noticed that the top pairing from the series was Feyre and Rhys. Not just a fan-loved pairing but an actual canonical couple. I was interested to see how the story went and how the author would hint at this future couple while the current story was still very much pointing to a Tamlin happy ending.

Imagine my surprise when the very next scene that Rhys pops up in, ends with him physically pinning Feyre and mentally assaulting her. I believe she refers to it as a talon in her mind ready to rip her consciousness into oblivion. What a great love interest.

To add insult to literal injury, he then mentally violates her and reveals all of her more adult desires that she has been thinking about Tamlin.

He blackmails them all, threatening to tell an evil queen, Aramantha, about Feyre’s existence unless Tamlin kneels and begs. Even then he demands Feyre’s name. She lies and gives him a girl’s name from her village.

Later we learn that the village girl, Claire, has her family burned alive in their home and is dragged to the Fairy world where she is brutally tortured, mutilated, and put on display like a bear pelt. This cruelty is all the result of Rhys not keeping his fat mouth shut about Feyre being in Tamlin’s court.

The author thinks it's okay to excuse this innocents girl's murder away and make Rhys seeming cunning, by saying that he knew that wasn’t Feyre and lied to protect her. A logic so backward I am surprised my spine didn’t snap in how far it had to bend to dodge the fact that he caused her endangerment by telling Aramantha about Feyre to begin with.

Things get darker than the night court once we enter under the mountain. There, while trying to survive Aramatha’s trials, Feyre breaks her arm to the point that the bone is exposed. A day later, bleeding out, in pain, and feverish from infection, Feyre has to talk to Rhys in her cell. He offers to heal her arm in exchange for her living with him every month for two weeks.

Feyre is not interested in his deal and tells him to leave several times. What does our future perfect mate decide to do then when denied what he wants? He grabs Feyre by her exposed arm bone and twists. This man. This sexy dream boy that so many people say is their model for relationships, grabs an injured woman’s exposed bone and tortures her. Just so she will promise to live with him. He is the little boy kicking the dog because it didn’t follow his orders.

After being physically assaulted in a way that is so painful I am sure most people would black out, Feyre agrees to his deal. However, she bargains the time down to one month. He agrees and seals the deal. Just like that Rhys becomes the male embodiment of a period, complete with all the emotional distress, muscle cramps, and blood.

So does the torture end there? Oh no. For several nights after that he makes servants strip her, paint her and dress her in fabric so thin that she is basically naked. Why paint you ask? Rhys claims it is so she and he knows if anyone touches her. Though I will say that while he states this he touches her shoulder and the paint magically fixes itself. So You know it will show if anyone but Rhys touches her.

He then parades her publicly in front of the entire court like a toy. She is forced to publicly expose her breasts and genitals to a crowd of people that from day one want to see her die. He reduces her to a sex object in a crowd that already does not see her humanity.

Then he drugs her. Not an exaggeration, he even admits to it later in the book. He forces her to drink wine that makes her blackout. The next morning she can barely remember anything and has to rely on Lucien to tell her what happened. While blacked out she is forced to dance practically naked, giving Rhys lap dances and just sitting in his lap. She is exposed so throughout that Lucien even comments that he has seen more than he ever wanted to.

All of this culminated in a moment where one-night Feyre gets a moment with Tamlin, the man she loves, and they kiss and touch each other. The paint is smeared and Rhys finds them. He tells Tamlin to leave and then pins Fyre again calling her a stupid human. Then shoves his own tongue down her throat against her will as she thrashes. Aramantha finds them then and makes sure everyone in the court gets a good laugh at Feyre’s “promiscuity”.

The act is disgusting but what really made me want to burn this book was the scene directly after this. Where Rhys shows up and gives his “reasoning” for abusing her. He was just protecting her because Aramantah would be mad if she found Feyre and Tamlin kissing. He was using her nude dances to try and anger Tamlin so he would fight back when he can. He drugged Feyre so she wouldn’t have to remember the humiliation of being someone's harlot. He did all of it to help her and him.

It's okay that he abused her because it was all for a greater plan. It's okay cause he is hot.

This is the moment when I have to step away from the book review and talk about what I have seen surrounding this novel. I have heard several fans explain away Rhy’s abuse by saying “but it was in her best interest” and “that’s what war does'”. So, let's unpack that, first “in her best interest” is basically the catchphrase of every abusive partner at this point. There will always be a reason for the abuse, it’s a gaslighting tactic that ensures that abusers can deflect any blame from themselves and onto their victim. This creates complicated emotions that will paralysis the abused person from leaving the relationship altogether.

If you find yourself in a relationship where you are always rationalizing away mistreatment then please take a step back and question why there are so many excuses to begin with.

As for the but war does that. I would like these same people to say that while looking at photos of real war atrocities. To look at images from the Nanjing Massacre or the Wounded Knee Massacre and say the same thing. Those acts of violence against men, women, and children were done during the war. Does that make it okay then if the violence was done by an attractive soldier who was deep and brooding?

I have a tendency to write my own preferred scenarios which I know is kind of pointless for a published book but fix fit fiction is a thing so hear me out.  Or don’t, that’s fine you can stop reading here as the review is over. I just have one simple idea that could fix a lot of my problems with this series.

Separate Rhysand into two separate characters.

Make the man she meets at the Fyre Festival and the guy who threatens her in the mansion and under the mountain just different guys.

You can keep the dark cunning mystery man of the Fyre Festival, maybe not even name him until he shows up again in the court to help. Have him come to her cell and offer his help. Have her say no and instead of grabbing her exposed arm bone he just says it’s the only help she will get. Hell Feyre talks herself into anyways after he grabs her bone so let's just skip that violence. Have her agree just as he is about to leave and give her the stupid arm tattoo and save her life. Then that’s it. He shows up at the end to help her but that’s it.

The man who meets her in the cell does not need to be the same man who forces her to do stripteases in front of hundreds of people. Make it Attar or some other male henchman of Aramantha who makes her do the dancing and drinking and everything else.

You still want him to be cunning and calculating? Maybe have a little bit of the grey morality that makes us all squirm?  Great than keeping the scene with the forced kiss (not great but whatever). That is easier to overlook than drugging, sexual harassment, and assault.  He can be forcibly kissing her to protect her and hell let's throw in an apology for fun.

Then you set up a situation where you have this dark and mysterious figure who we still don’t know why he helps her.

I know people say wait till book two and I do plan to read it. I got to see what excuse the author comes up with that seems to explain away so much abuse. What could she possibly say that makes me sit back and say “You know yes he pimped her out and yes he pulled on an exposed bone but you know what he just suuuuuuch a good guy.” If she is that good of an author then she should become a PR writer who makes spin articles for R. Kelly and Harvey Weinstein.

[alwaysupatnight]

Top 5 Books or Video Games you would like to see onscreen AND Top 5 Character Wardrobes you want to raid for your own closet and Top 5 coolest toys from your childhood!💖💖💖

Top 5 Video Games I wanna see onscreen:

NONE. EVERY LIVE ADAPTATION OF A THING I HAVE LOVED HAS BEEN TERRIBLE. AND WOULD THE RESIDENT EVIL MOVIES JUST DIE ALREADY?! 😩 They already ruined the new CGI netflix thing by casting the same voice actors as in the RE2 remake. 🙄 Just... I absolutely NEVER wanna see my fave games made into live action things okay. NEVER.

(With the exception of TLOU because that’s happening whether I want it to or not, and while I love Pedro and think he’ll be amazing as Joel, I still don’t believe TLOU ever needed a live action adaptation when it was already perfect.)

That said, I would LOVE to see an ANIME version of Legend of Zelda. lmfao That’s probably why I actually really loved Breath of the Wild. I know there was an animated series back in the 80s but yeah NOT LIKE THAT. XD I tolerate the CGI Resident Evil movies when I’m missing Leon, but they’re... not good. 🤣

Top 5 Books I wanna see onscreen:

After witnessing what a complete disgrace the Vampire Academy movie actually was, I never want to see any of my faves onscreen ever again. But if it was done RIGHT, they could’ve made a couple of great VA movies ngl. It would’ve been so amazing. Forever disappointed. 😤

I also always thought the Black Dagger Brotherhood series would make a good tv series. I mean... as long as it was on HBO or something because of all the sex. lmfao That would be interesting. It probably wouldn’t be GOOD. But yeah. sexy vampire bros. lmfao I’d be there for it.

And the Murderbot Diaries might be fun as movies or a tv series... maybe. lol I’ve been listening to the audiobooks and I’m not sure I would’ve gotten the same enjoyment out of them if I’d read them instead. The guy from the audiobook was too good. XD

Top 5 Character Wardrobes to raid for my closet:

okay so this isn’t exactly wardrobes but more like specific items I liked from their costumes? lol idk I never watched those gossip girl and 90210 shows okay and idgaf about friends or sex in the city XD None of the characters I love have really extensive wardrobes... some hardly had any costume changes at all...

Kate Fuller’s American Eagle denim hoodie lmfao. Emily Kinney actually used to wear one just like it but it was gray, not black and I have always wanted one 🤣

Beth Greene’s Dan Post Vintage Arrow cowgirl boots (if I ever thought I could actually pull off cowboy boots that is XD)

Danielle’s “just breathe” dress and wings from Ever After

AMARU’S RED BOOTS. WHERE DO I FIND THEM?!

and not a fictional character, but Madie’s black and white striped shirt with the wide v-neck [1, 2, 3] She wore it several times a few years back and ugh I WOULD ABSOLUTELY WEAR THAT. IT LOOKED SO GOOD ON HER THOUGH

Okay I lied. I just realized I would absolutely raid Alexis Rose’s closet XD Top 5 coolest toys from my childhood:

oh man this is gonna age me so bad 😅

Those Fairy Winkles toys. They were like Polly Pocket but with FAIRIES. Sadly I lost all but one of my fairies 😔

Ghostbusters firehouse before we broke it 🤣 and the cruiser

Bratz dolls. I think I had all the original ones XD

Jurassic Park the lost world t-rex that swallowed things and roared. It wasn’t actually mine, but it was badass. I actually still have the Tim and Ellie figurines too from the first movie lol

Nintendo SNES/64

ASK ME MY “TOP 5/TOP 10” ANYTHING!

[kinsey3furry300]

Three awesome post-GoT series I would commission if I owned any of the Big three Streaming platforms.

Yo! Netflix, Amazon Prime Video and Disney+, you have a problem: there are nerds like me who want to give you even more of our time and money, but you’re not making the stuff you should be.  Following the hugely disappointing end of “Game of Thrones”  there are a huge number of sci-f and fantasy nerds who are currently not getting our fix of epic adventure, and rather than commission a whole bunch of cool series that are just begging to be made to cash in on this, you’re all just sort of doing your own things. And that’s Cool, I’m loving the Netflix Witcher series and Disney’s Loki, and looking forward to the Amazon Middle Earth series with a mix of hope and trepidation (please be good), there are, however, a whole mass of cool book series that are just begging for release in an episodic fashion, and what’s more, I can think of which series plays to which streaming platforms strengths. And unlike Game of Thrones, there are series where running out of source material to adapt shouldn’t be a problem.

So, three sci-fi or fantasy series that play to the strengths of the big three Streaming services, as suggested by me, a big ol’ nerd. One: Amazon Prime. Strengths: successfully adapting darker comic-book or Urban fantasy works Like Preacher, the Boys, Good Omens and American Gods and making a profit. Weakness: has never successfully pulled of a big Grimdark fantasy series, despite having all the talent to do so because they’re working on the Middle earth series, which doesn’t seem a good fit for their brand image as the place you come for for comically dark works, and all their adaptations are too much of a slow burn, which necessitates padding the source material (look at how little happens in any episode of Preacher or the Boy vs the insanely fast pace of the comics). Solution: Malazan, book of the fallen. A deep, insanely dark, insanely Epic story that would actually lend itself to a slow burn and the grim-dark over the top violence of other Amazon shows, and fill the “Tit’s and monsters” gap left by GoT in many of our hearts. And unlike Tolkien, I have faith that the studio that cast Sweary Karl Urban as Billy Butcher could actually pull this off with the correct tone and feel. This would have the Witcher fans from Netflix defecting in droves, and could also pull in some new viewers who might enjoy the anthropology and political intrigue of this complex, multifaceted world.

 Two: Disney+. Strengths: near infinite money and ambition, the production team behind The Mandalorian and the MCU, great Hollywood clout to draw in big name stars, but willing to cast talented unknowns, the best mix of live action and CG in the business. Weaknesses: It’s Disney, so they can never go full grim-dark: they can imply or infer dark acts, but need to keep what’s shown on screen PG13 to fit their brand, which rules out a lot of modern fantasy. And they have no true fantasy serries in their stable.

Solution: Brandon Sanderson’s Mistborn, and other Cosmere works.  A rare example of an excellent current fantasy and sci-fi writer who isn’t grimdark as heck, and manages to convey dark and adult themes by implication and hints rather than outright showing them, this is pretty much the only big fantasy series out there that is aimed at and enjoyed by adults but remains consistently PG13. It’s also so epic and super-hero-ish in this various magic systems, that I can’t see anyone other than the team behind the MCU pulling off a live-action version of this that doesn’t suck. In addition to this, the logical starting point for this, Mistborn, is by far the safest and most marketable, coming the closest of any of his works to a standard young-adult plot with Vin as an easily sell-able character to studio brass, being to all intents and purposes Katniss Everdeen with super-powers, which could get a big studio invested  and convinced this is a good idea before we get to all the “lets kill and replace god” stuff. If Mistborn was successful, other Cosmere works could follow, and I could see something like the Stormlight Archives working really well with the MCU effects team behind it, so long as they don’t white-wash it: No one on Roshar is white other than in Shinovar, and half of the cultures are based on either Polynesian or far eastern traditions, so cast Hawaiian, Māori, native American and east-Asian actors, and it could be both a great series, and also the most diverse Disney has ever done. You want a new, easily marketable but epic scale franchise, Disney? It’s right here.

Also for the love of god, do Wax and Wayne. I just need this, okay?

 Three: Netflix. Strengths: good at tapping into the prevailing nostalgia of Millennials and producing works that speak to them on a relatively small budget (see Stanger Things) and good at grabbing the rights to adapt good but slightly obscure works cheaply. Good working relationship with a ton of Japanese Anime rightsholders. Weaknesses: By far the smallest budget of any of the big three. Tends to produce awful live-action adaptations of beloved works (to the point that the Witcher was a pleasant surprise), but has good relationships with lots of animation studios.

Solution: Animorphs, but do what they always should have done and animate it. It boggles my mind that anyone would every try to pull this off in live action, as the transformations, which are the heart of the series, would be so hard to pull off well (look at the 90’s series). And yet, I’m aware they’re making a film, but dear god, why, when K A Applegate said form the get go that this series of books were written specifically as if they were a 90’s Saturday morning cartoon. This was always meant to be adapted as a series, not a long form film. So, don’t try to modernise it, or relate to “The kids” don’t whitewash the cast, don’t edit out the gore and body-horror, but lean into the 90’s and early 2000’s angst of it, and go balls to the walls insane with the concept. What music do you have playing for this scene? Is it Every day is exactly the same by Nine Inch Nails, and if not, why not? Do the transformation sequence genuinely scare you? No?  Then you’re doing it wrong.  Is that a happy ending? Get that the hell out of there. Go for the original time period and concept, and go hard, and if you do it now, you’ll just hit that sweet spot as the rolling 30 year nostalgia cycle moves out of the 80’s and into the 90’s. And as an apology to all the bad live-action Anime you produced, Netflix, get a Japanese studio to animate this: the Animorphs books were popular in Japan, with wonderful hand drawn illustrations throughout. Get Studio Orange on this: Beastars proved they can do flowing, fast-moving combat well, and make animal and other non-human characters look good, and what’s more they’d probably be up for it: Animorphs is basically a western Shōnen,  so the market for an Anime of it would exist in Japan.

 So there we go, the three series I would commission if I ruled the world of streaming sites. As ever, tell me why I’m wrong below, and have a great day!

[thejudgingtrash]

Now hold up I would personally love to hear a full rant on this supposed adaptation I have never heard of until now. Like, legitimately, I wanna know what you have to say about this cause you seem to be one of the most valid PJO blogs

Uhhh what??? Me one of the most valid PJO blogs??? What kinda crack have you been smoking WHAT afahsgjskdh.

But still thank you 😊🥺🙈

Alright, you wanted a rant. You got a rant. Fuck the positives let’s just straight up jump into my aggression.

WARNING: Massive rant with a lot of swear words. If you can’t handle the heat, feel free to ignore this. I personally haven’t worked in Hollyweird, but I had some behind the scenes stuff here in Europe going on for a short period and also the trusty words of my college professors. So here will be a lot of prediction and speculation involved. Yes, I know that I’m a huge hypocrite for voicing my opinions based on stuff that hasn’t been pushed through in months and that I could be easily proven wrong in a few weeks/months. Still thank you should you actually take the time to read through this tomfuckery.

If things are wrong, please DO correct me!

Links to further reads will be included partially.

TL;DR: Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

Okay. First things first:

DISNEY

DOESN’T

GIVE

A

SINGLE

FUCK

ABOUT

YOU

Disney is a fucking multi-billion dollar corporation with many, many, many studios, stations, brands and franchises worldwide. The Percy Jackson franchise is a dime in a dozen. Disney doesn’t give a single fuck about the PJO fandom in general.

Disney doesn’t give a fuck about you 20-something year old with your 9 year old blog discussing which toilet paper brand Percy uses. And Disney also doesn’t give a fuck about you 16 year old, writing the worst fucking Solangelo fanfic I’ve read so far on this hellsite. Like goddamn.

Trust me, they know you are interested. They know they got you hooked. They see the numbers, they see the like/reblog ratio, they see the Twitter engagement. They see you with #disneyadaptpercyjackson. They see the petitions, they see how excited you were for the musical. You don’t get to be a gigantic conglomerate like Disney with playing stupid.

Also to you fuckfarts saying oH nO I wOn’T wAtCh It I dOn’T cArE aBoUt NeW sTuFf. Congrats dipshit. You are STILL alerting followers and people about what’s happening and creating more buzz, giving more awareness and adding to the transaction costs. You really cheated the system, you little edgelord. Again:

You are nothing but a number. You are a fucking walking dollar bill. You are a consumer waiting for a new shiny product to fill the void in your life for 45 minutes weekly or by two hours at some point.

The PJO movies 1. & 2 happened for a reason. Because Fox saw a popular book series á la Harry Potter, Twilight (and The Hunger Games) and wanted a piece of that action. They wanted your fucking money. Them entirely fucking up and ignoring Riordan’s advice is on them of course. But still. The movies happened. (And also saw people saying they were flops. Reception wise: hell yes. They are awful adaptations (not per se awful movies, there’s a difference). But money wise?? They made together over 245 million dollars in profit. Of course, that isn’t today’s Marvel level but it’s still fairly decent. Also don’t forget that the second movie still got greenlit. Interest was still there despite part one. You disliking something doesn’t turn it into a flop)).

Again, Disney doesn’t care about you. THIS is what Disney cares about:

1. MONEY

2. PROFIT

3. ENGAGEMENT

4. TOTAL GROSS

5. CONVERSION RATES

11. …. “Artistry“

So in terms of money, we gotta speak about the on-going woke culture. You know, lgbtqia+ stuff, poc representation and all the good shit we want and need in our life, right?

Well, I got bad news for ya. Disney being money hungry has its massive downsides. Because where is the money? In the east. Well and what happens if we include the woke stuff? Possible censorships (even retroactively! You know Gravity Falls went through that), bans, etc.

So all of you talking about representation and artistic vision and being bold and brave and blablabla… Throw that into the fucking trash. We can probably be glad if we get Grover back as the token black kid and a few other minorities sprinkled here and there. Open gay Nico? Doubt it. Your afro-latino Percy head canon? Definitely keep that but unlikely to be realized. And also, if you think that Annabeth wouldn’t get turned into the blandest whitest “I dOn’T nEeD nO mAn“ radfem, I got some bad news for ya…

The likelihood of everything being dumbed down, toned down with the exception of a few adult jokes or being even partially censored (depending on certain regions) is very, very high.

Also what makes you think we’re even getting close to the Heroes of Olympus and Trials of Apollo saga? I doubt you will see The Seven for a long time unless Riordan really says fuck it and throws his final ace card into Disney’s filthy greedy mouth.

So if Disney doesn’t have the fandom’s interest at heart, what are they interested in? Well… MONEY. Also NEW engagement. They know your funky ass is going to tune in. They know people will pirate the shit (Me waving like a maniac), they all KNOW that. Again, they aren’t stupid.

So: MORE engagement. MORE money. How do we get even more engagement? By luring new people into the fandom. Who is most likely going to get lured into a family friendly show/movie series because let’s not forget that we’re talking about Disney+? The targeted audience of the books. Who is the targeted audience of the books? MIDDLE SCHOOLERS. 11 to 14 year olds. Disney wants those kids’ (well their parents’ hard earned) money. They want to sell products, in that case books + Disney Plus subscriptions + possible merch. There you also have the likely future rating for the fucking show. Sorry to disappoint everyone that was hoping for gritty Game of Thrones filled with 12 year olds (like seriously wtf?).

Now that that’s settled, let’s talk about the outlook on the show/movie and Riordan’s influence that you people clearly overestimate.

How much power or say does Rick Riordan actually have?

ZERO. ABSOLUTELY NONE.

He’s in the worst fucking lose-lose-situation you could imagine.

Disney owns the books and Fox owns the movie rights. Wait. Fox got bought. By whom you ask? DISNEY, what a coincidence! In Rick Riordan’s own words:

Disney has him by his fucking balls and could crush them at any minute. And if you think, that Disney is letting go of that sweet sweet intellectual property you are fucking mistaken. Riordan isn’t a J.K. Rowling who OWNS the Wizarding World. You have no idea what Disney are capable of with massive lobbying that goes so far to influence copyright laws in the States (LINK)

So you can stop harassing him about a fucking Netflix adaptation as well! Or petitions that do nothing but annoy people.

These negotiations take up YEARS to get the simplest stuff done. No need to shit your pants whenever Riordan’s tweeting stuff.

Still: would Disney be fucking mad to do this without him? Absolutely!

Should Disney involve him to prevent a PJO movie 2.0 scenario?

Yes, they definitely should!

But CAN Disney do this without him?

OF COURSE THEY CAN! THEY OWN EVERYTHING.

In Riordan’s own words:

Read carefully what he has written. He doesn’t say he’s going to halter productions, he’s saying HE WON’T BE A PART OF IT. This also makes me curious about WHO approached WHO in the first place (my guess Disney tried to make some amendments because Fox ain’t shit and trying to alienate the author again would be a goddamn stupid move). Disney has the fucking film rights. Of course they can pump out shit without involving him. They could pull a Fantastic Four (the awful 2015 version) just to keep the rights and for the fuck of it.

There are the following possibilities with Riordan’s involvement:

1. Riordan as a producer: Dude’s gotta be loaded. We know that. But backing the production costs many, many, many millions and I don’t know if he’s THAT loaded. Also film producing isn’t his forte.

2. Riordan as a screenplay writer: Now we’re getting closer to something. Yes, many productions these days have authors directly involved which is great! But also can go the other way around (J.K. Rowling and her Grindelwald fiasco. Author’s do NEED to learn when to stop intermeddling with their franchises, just saying) Book writing and screenplay writing are two very DIFFERENT disciplines. You don’t have the liberties of book writing when it comes to film. The screenplay is the guide for the entire production, the visuals, the set design, the whole atmosphere of the product, the very first thing that needs to be done so that directors, designers and lastly the casted actors know what they have to do. Everything has to come to a point in a very short time and there are many, many, many versions of a screenplay before a final raw draft gets handed out. If that isn’t in Riordan’s interest (which I can completely understand) then that’s simply not happening

3. Riordan as a guide: Directors, screenplay writers, etc. sit down with Riordan on a regular basis to show him the written screenplay, which actors they have in mind, the whole vision and he has a mini veto right.

If you ask me, a mix of scenario 2 and 3 is the most likely to be the most successful. That means, that Riordan needs to have a good faithful team, that sticks closely to the source material. That isn’t guaranteed! Again: look at the PJO movies. But of course, we don’t know the internals of these meetings.

So… now the final part. The whole fucking “Animation vs. Live action“ debate. Well, both sides have their pro’s and con’s. And both sides are filled with a bunch of fucking morons. I won’t try to get you to either side.

But to those that want are begging for a live action version with age-appropriate actors I have the following to say:

FUCK

YOU

IN

PARTICULAR!

WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU WANT CHILDREN TO GO THROUGH THE HELL THAT IS DISNEY AND THE SHADY SHIT GOING ON THERE SO THAT YOU CAN BE ENTERTAINED FOR SOME MERE MINUTES?!

Oh my god…. You people REALLY really want a fourth wave Me Too movement in 15-20 years. Not every Hollyweird kid has a helicopter parent hovering around them on set and many do get abused/robbed by their parents. And the people involved in the production! Of course, animation has still a chance of this happening but the risk is somewhat lower when it just comes to voice acting.

Tbh, I actually wouldn’t mind an aged-up cast again just to prevent this as best as possible. Unfortunately, child actors will always be needed.

I have nothing much to add to this, I’ll just drop a link to an old small post from me about that right here (LINK)

Personally I lean more towards animation but in the big picture I won’t care. (Also the whole animation is for kids and dumbs down the whole narrative for PJO is fucking stupid, boo boo the fool. You being in your late teens/twenties and grown out of the targeted audience is the cause of nature. Animation can be mature or would you show Attack on Titan or South Park to your 8 year old cousin?)

I’ll be just tuning in to see if this is as messy as I’d expect it to be or to be pleasantly surprised.

Also again: this process is a long one. It’s going to be exhausting, depressing, demanding, pushing.

From the meetings now that will take a very long time, to a screenplay, which can take YEARS in finalizing, to hiring staff, location hunting and set design (should they go the live action route), to casting, to costume design, to rehearsing/production, to filming, to dispersing, to editing, to fx, to finishing, to marketing, to publishing, NOTHING IS SET IN STONE! This is a very, very, very, wanky process despite contracts and everything on paper. Let’s not forget, Disney can afford some good lawyers.

And even if everything goes as smoothly as possible. Higher up people could see the final edit of everything with editors having scenes close to the books in an a/b/c/d cut and some producer says NO! I want an c/a/b/d version that again fucks up the dynamics of the books. Or something terrible: everything is shot and done and THEN it get’s postponed. Or even fucking worse: SHELVED to be NEVER RELEASED. Aka Henry Selick’s career after Coraline (Coraline from 2009 is STILL his latest release because of his fucked up Disney contract and them cancelling his shit). Millions of dollars wasted and we won’t get to see ANYTHING. This is all very possible and happens constantly in the film business AND at Disney. This is nothing new.

And there’s nothing we can do about it. No one cares about Riordan, no one cares about the books, no one cares about the fandom.

DISNEY holds the cards. DISNEY gets to decide. Neither Riordan, nor you nor me hold ANY power in this.

So kids… what have we learned today? In conclusion:

Keep your hopes to a low, stop harassing people online and mAnAgE yOuR eXpEcTaTiOnS!!111!!

That’s it. That’s all I wanted to say.

WHEW.

[feuervogel]

Recent media viewing

I decided to open up Netflix the other day and watch the Sandman adaptation. It's as good as everyone has been saying it is! And episode 5 has some gross bits that you'll see coming if you're paying attention (also, the nice black lady and her dog don't die, if you're worried about that). The Corinthian is EVEN CREEPIER in live action.

I spent a lot of time thinking "God, that actor looks and sounds familiar" whenever the Corinthian was on screen, but I looked him up and he wasn't in anything else I've seen, so I guess he's just got That Kind Of Face (or at least lower half of it, since he's got dark glasses on 95% of the time.)

While I was on Netflix, they showed me recommendations, as algorithms do, and I browsed the anime selection to see if there was anything to add to my (extremely long) watchlist.

I decided to watch Tekken: Bloodline, because deep in my heart of hearts, I love 2D fighting games. Not at all because I've been a JinHwo shipper since the early 2000s, nope. Anyway, it's a Netflix original, originally voiced in English. The voice acting ranges from fine (Jin, Hwoarang, Nina, Paul) to cringe (Jun, Xiaoyu) to comical (Heihachi), and for some completely unknown reason, Heihachi's assistant uses weeb-Japanese and says "hai" when she could say "yes, sir." (Like, this is the ONLY Japanese in the show. I'm not counting uses of sensei, because that's been borrowed into English as a martial arts term, or the time Paul says "Mishima Zaibatsu," because that's been in the US versions of the game since forever.)

Is it any good? It's not bad... It's basically the plot of Tekken 3, with references to 1&2, with Jin finding out about his family and Heihachi being a total asshole (I mean, duh). The character designs are weird, like their faces are too small for their necks and chins are too pointy, and somehow Jin looks like Heero Yuy in profile. I laughed a couple times (Paul (or maybe Nina): You two are friends? Jin & Hwoarang (unison): NO!) and may be on the way to shipping Jin/Hwo/Xiaoyu because they're ADORABLE.

When I got my new computer for Xmas, it came with a free 3-month trial of Apple TV. I didn't do anything about it until they sent me an email that it would go away if I didn't use it, then I signed up. There's actually a good bit of good stuff on there, so I'm keeping it for 4.99 a month.

Severance: suuuuper creepy SF mystery/thriller? where people can sign up to get implants that sever their work lives from their home lives so they can work on something so secret, even their work-selves don't know what it is. Season 1 ends with a massive cliffhanger that was extremely brave, because S2 hadn't been confirmed yet. (It is now.) It stars the guy from Parks & Rec and guest stars Christopher Walken.

The Essex Serpent: based on a book, apparently. Tom Hiddleston plays a vicar who lives out in the wilds in the 1880s or so; Claire Danes is a recently widowed paleontologist. Hiddles is utterly charming, as always; Danes is a bit flat, as always (I've always liked her, but she has about 2 expressions: confused and sad). There's a doctor who wants to date her, and her BFF/maid ALSO wants to date her, but she's only got eyes for the vicar (who's married, of course). Anyway, she hears rumors of a sea monster in the river and goes to investigate it, which is where she meets the vicar and so on. You can tell it's going to be a romance, but that part is somehow not compelling.

For All Mankind: space race AU where the Soviet Union gets to the moon first and NASA has to catch up. A lot of the real-world timeline is changed in ways that are good (space shuttles! moon base!) and bad (USSR doesn't collapse). In season 3, there is an extremely honest depiction of Gay Life in the 90s and of the within-group politics of assimilation or not. I lived through it (before I knew I was queer, or admitted it anyway), and it still punched me in the gut. We've made so much progress in the last 30 years that it's easy to forget just how terrible it was back then and that Don't Ask Don't Tell was the progressive compromise. It made me think about all the puriteens here on tunglr dot com and the stupid discourse about ~flawed media~ and ~problematique~ stuff. They should watch it and maybe fucking learn some history.

The end of season 3 is dfjhadkjghk;djkhgojwhjdfxhvjh basically and season 4 can't come soon enough.