#could be i misunderstood the question of the poll | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

gilmoregirl · 9 months ago

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hi,

i want to state the last week has been incredibly hard for so many, not only because of the gossip, accusations, and losing a place of comfort that caused a lot of confusion, angst, and anger, but also because some of us have been juggling it alongside difficult moments in real life as well - a time in which we could have used community the most. writing this out is mostly for those who are not comfortable reaching out to ask what happened, to be informative, and as a way for us to put the past firmly behind us and find a healing and joyful place to land in our future.

for those who weren't there from the beginning, let's make a few things clear. madi created brittle heart all on her own - from the site itself, the codes she'd made previously, to the discord. it was her solo build, which was never questioned. a few of us (myself and bertie) joined the site as members from the very first day. it grew quickly, and madi had included in the rules to reach out if you were interested in staffing at all. i was the first added to staff four days after it opened, and shortly after we added on athena and mads - a choice i'd made alongside madi as she asked for my input. prior to brittle heart, i'd had no idea who madi was, had been, or the sites she'd made in the past. i knew she'd returned from a year-long hiatus, but was incredibly excited for the future of bh. she urged all of us from day one - even when it was just the two of us - to make our own stamp on bh, add what we wanted, to help improve on what she'd already started. most of the things added in were majority member suggestions, and a few skin edits and discord updates that we thought would help the member base. a few weeks later, bertie and robin were added in at madi's suggestion - while we were a well oiled machine as a team of four, two more admins would allow for some of us to take absences without the growing member base needing to suffer. staffing was smooth, outside of a few intense member related issues that we made sure everyone had a voice in to respond as a team. it was so easy until it wasn’t.

things began to take a turn during the week that the march madness event had been posted, on march 1st. from the moment i woke up on saturday, until the moment i went to bed late sunday night, my anxiety was at an all time high. there had been a misunderstanding from madi that myself and another admin had been arguing in the staff chat, when in fact we were just two passionate people who talk best by explaining every detail of our thought process, discussing what version of tallying points made the most amount of sense for the event via google sheet. madi had woken up to it, and while i was still asleep, was telling people that they had a "tone" because she'd misunderstood the conversation, a word that she'd been using on a more frequent basis. reading back it was confusing, and felt pointed at one person in particular, but we tried our best to shake it off and push forward. a bit later, a new channel appeared in the staff section labeled "staff issues", with a detailed message about how frustrated madi felt. it directly spoke about how bh had moved so far from the original vision, her original vision, and she was upset with that, and the size of the staff team she'd added on. it was long, and i could tell it was something she needed to get off her chest. i was the first to respond with a long message of my own, showing a lot of love for every single member of the staff team, including madi, and what she'd created. i did offer that i was a little confused, because we often polled in the staff team about decisions, and she'd responded to most of them (if not all), so i was unsure which particular moment had felt like too much. another member of staff responded with a lengthy response of their own, pulling away a bit from the staff issues during a large chunk, and going after two other admins by name for a personal issue regarding a face claim that no one was aware was a problem - because they hadn't expressed it was. one of the people named responded directly to the issue, a little confused, and apologetic, but it quickly spiraled away as madi accused them of making it all about them, and within minutes it escalated to terms "gaslighting" "abusive" from madi, before she quickly stated she would just close down bh instead.

what had turned from a difference of opinion about things like rewards points, badges, how to set up the future social media of our fictional roleplay site had suddenly turned into opening triggering wounds for everyone involved, and how this was madi’s site, her vision, and we were all just players within it - something she had the power to end at any minute all on her own. it stung, and made us all feel used for the talents we'd shared - skinning, discord building, our intense activity and worldbuilding, as well as general upkeep and moderation of the site. things settled for a bit as madi left to collect herself, and we all sat in the mystery of how she'd feel when she returned. would we suddenly be kicked from the server? would the site show up offline? we didn't know. the pit in my stomach grew, because while i'd spent the better part of my day trying to be ultra positive - if someone said this, if they apologized like that, it would all get better - i suddenly started to realize how uncomfortable i was with the idea of staying after how quickly things had spiraled and the harsh language used. when she returned, madi apologized, but once again made it clear - anyone could leave, as this was her vision, and hers alone. she wanted to find a way to return the site back to that, and while she appreciated our help, she could handle it if we no longer wanted to continue.

imagine spending every day for over a month, building connections, large and expansive group plots, starting a new skin day one of becoming staff as directed, helping direct others to requests that weren't even your own, staying up half a night alone to build an event you were so excited for but never got to participate in, just to be told suddenly that it meant absolutely nothing to someone you thought you were building a real friendship with. after a full day - of which i spent the entirety of it online - i went to sleep knowing we'd likely be leaving bh. be it out of pure anxiety, fate, or whatever else, the four of us woke up at odd hours, and decided it would be better to remove our things and leave a message rather than do it during the messiness of the middle of the day. so we did. we left a goodbye message in the staff chat, outlining how much we loved bh and our time on it, but if we were truly not all equal partners (as it had been said by madi multiple times we were - and was now being rescinded on) we didn't feel comfortable continuing on. it felt like the choice was stay on bh, be silent, do as we were told, or go, she wouldn't care either way. we left a note to members because we'd truly cherished that community, but felt belittled and didn't know how to continue on after what had been said. according to madi the night prior, anyone could leave, and it wouldn't change a thing for bh. we didn't know that she'd immediately take our goodbye down, post a message about closing the site, only to post a poll about maybe keeping it open before disappearing and leaving it all to rest on mad’s shoulders.

after leaving, the four of us decided we wanted to build something new, something ours - that we could all share and make it a point to expand upon with new voices when the time came. as we were brainstorming, we were sent screenshots, dm's, and a lot of inquiring messages. at the time, we didn't know how to respond, we wanted to keep it light, and give bh a chance to succeed without tainting it with what we'd been through. while we couldn't stay, we didn't want to ruin everyone else's good time. mads messaged us all privately, asking if we wanted any plots removed, and we gave the details of which we were comfortable leaving to bh, and which we weren't - some of the characters and families on bh were created years prior, and belonged to their original owners who weren't comfortable with others continuing those plots. around noon on monday, madi sent me a message stating she was sorry and leaving the rpc - and offered us bh. she mentioned she was leaving quickly - within the hour - and it gave us a sense of urgency to act and respond. the four of us were uncomfortable to going back to bh as if nothing had happened, as all we could see was how it was now madi's vision, and hers alone, and even when we'd forgiven her for the harsh words used, there would always be a shadow of her in its wake - she'd built it, and that would never change. in her goodbye message to me, it felt clear she would not be posting a goodbye message or actively closing the site, and had even told us if we didn't feel comfortable returning to use it as a way to reconnect or offer new projects. we decided to go back to close it properly, and give the members we'd written alongside the closure after a rough and frankly exhausting weekend. we wanted to be clear that we adored you all to not waste another moment of your time. we went back knowing we were there to close it up - and never attempted to lead anyone on - but waited as this whole situation caught the one remaining staffer at the end of their workday, and wanted to ensure they were fully up to date on what was going on and approved the sentiment before we posted a goodbye.

i'm sure you're wondering why this is now being recounted, of which there are two main reasons. one is the amount of whispers and gossip that has gotten back to us, insinuating we were somehow the problem, how we gave people hope in the two hours we were back in the discord waiting for mads to return home so we could post the goodbye. telling others the reason it closed was over things like face claims, or other menial issues, or because we just wanted to start a new project. the other is because now a total of six people have come to us or realized their own past with madi. one was someone i've known for over a decade, and while we don't rp much together these days, we chat every now and again. they asked me about bh - and about madi- and if she was still pulling the same shit. they used specific phrases and words that madi had used against us, and let me know this happened to them too, on another site. in just a matter of days, so many people had shared an incredibly eerily similar experience - madi created something, was unhappy with the direction it was going after some time (usually within a one or two month mark), caused a commotion by using intense and directed language, and left others to pick up the pieces after she walked away. she's gone by multiple aliases - madi, myah, blair, and this behavior has spanned the better part of a decade, if not longer. pulling people in to be her closest of friends, making everyone feel as if they're on equal footing, before pushing them away and hoping for the best. if it hadn't been for the fact that many - and i mean many - people have come to us in the last week, i'd never speak publicly about this.

i want the best for madi, i truly hope her tumblr goodbye message is right, and that she spends more time surrounding herself with loving family and friends, finding new joys and good fun. i hope she heals from the events of what happened. but i do not want it to be made out like i, or my close friends, were in the wrong here when we were merely the newest in a line of many that have been sucked in and then spit out at the expense of someone else's vision. no one owes anyone enough to stay in an environment where they are berated, put down, treated as lesser, or told that while their work is great they are not allowed to hold an opinion. this is a hobby, it's meant for light and fun, and joy, and that is frankly all that any of us want for ourselves and our futures. i’m sorry if the closing of bh was difficult for you, as it was incredibly hard for us to leave, but we did so because of the difficulties experienced.

i do not plan to discuss this again. if you would like to reach out, my discord dm's are open. for now, thank you to anyone who has read this, i'm going to enjoy less time being so chronically online, touch some grass, eat some snacks, focus on the writing that brings me joy with people that support and value one another, and show those closest to me some love. i sincerely suggest you all do the same.

#rp things #brittle heart #washawayrp #truly am a wordy human

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best-underrated-anime · 1 year ago

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[Test Poll] Format #1

This is to test what format would be best for the poll posts during the tournament. The media featured are Chinese BL novels (danmei), and propagandas are from my stack of old reviews so they may be quite long. No trailers, so I’m putting images as placeholders for where the trailer should go. Just vote as if this were actually part of the tournament, then later I’ll gather some feedback. You may also leave feedback in the replies of this post.

Group A Round 1: #A1 vs #A2

#A1: Man picks up fish, keeps it as pet, but then it turns into a merman

Summary:

Follows the story of Rand Sievers, the younger brother of the CEO of Deep White, the leading company for biological advancements. Rand was once kidnapped as a child, and when his brother Vincent finally found him years later, he no longer remembered anything.

One day, Rand picked up a stranded “fish” from the beach, kept it as a pet, and gave it the name “Munster.” Little did he know that he was actually raising a biological weapon… a real monster.

#A2: Mushroom turns into a man, goes after another man to retrieve his “child”

Summary:

The story follows An Zhe, a sentient mushroom, after he takes over the body of the dead human An Ze. Assuming An Ze’s identity, he enters the northern human base in search of his spore, which had been harvested by humans. All people entering this base first have to undergo a screening that determines whether or not they have been infected by the mutated creatures outside. If found infected, the person will be eliminated on the spot.

An Zhe isn’t human, but he isn’t infected either. The judge Lu Feng cannot determine his case, but he highly doubts that the man is human. Hence, even after An Zhe is granted entry, he still keeps a close eye on him.

Propagandas, visuals/trailers, and poll under the cut!

#A1: Man picks up fish, keeps it as pet, but then it turns into a merman

Trigger Warnings: Gore, cannibalism, violence, rape*, kidnapping, blood

*rape happens, but the perpetrator was drugged and did it out of his control

Propaganda:

The novel starts out slow and, dare I say, fluffy. It introduces Rand as naïve and oblivious, just happily raising his ugly little fish. Even when said fish begins exhibiting anomalous behavior, Rand has merely chalked it up to it being extremely weird.

Meanwhile, his overprotective brother, Vincent, is secretly engaging in a dubious biological project. Rand has been kept ignorant about it for his safety, but some things are just beyond their control.

When Rand picks up Munster from the beach, he inevitably gets himself signed up to the chaos surrounding Vincent. Mysteries arise and distorted truths unwind, and these are all gonna forcefully unearth the traumas of the past that Rand has forgotten. Like opening Pandora’s box, all hell breaks loose, and never before have I read a danmei novel more hell-like than Mermaid Effect.

The novel would forcibly configure stomach-churning images in my mind. With vivid descriptions of violence and claustrophobic portrayals of the characters’ struggles, one should have high tolerance for disturbing content in order to fully enjoy this amazing thriller. I didn’t think I could handle extreme gore and cannibalism before, but this novel really forced me to raise my limits

Throughout the story, it asks the question on what it is that truly makes a monster. Some characters seem friendly and kind, but inside, their hearts are full of darkness. And then there are those who you’d think were villains, but underneath all the scary exterior, were actually just misunderstood. This novel then explores the answer to the question by bringing out the worst in its characters, showing how every single one of them is a bit of a monster inside, blurring the lines between “monster” and “human.” In the end, all that remains is the essence of the person, who they truly are in spite of the skins they wear.

But at its very core, this is actually a heartwarming story. It’s a story of love and of family, and of healing and second chances.

How Rand develops from staying ignorant to being brave enough to face his past was really commendable. And this was all possible with the help of Munster, who, oddly enough, was at the very bottom of Pandora’s box. Munster gave Rand the push and support he needed to rip off his scars and fix what had been broken.

#A2: Mushroom turns into a man, goes after another man to retrieve his “child”

Trigger warnings: …It’s been so long since I read this, so I can’t remember

Propaganda:

It’s unlike those danmei zombie stories where the apocalypse seems like it’s all fun and games. There is no group of friends forming teams and going on missions. No treasure hunting, no power-ups, and no strengthening of the fort. In this novel, the “enemy” is not just another adventure; the enemy is a powerful and overwhelming force that can swallow one unawares, and no one can run away from it.

So many of the characters die, and most of the time, their deaths are not even meaningful. The author kills them off like they’re swatting away flies, and you can’t complain that it’s bad writing either because it’s a f**king apocalypse. People are supposed to die.

But either way, the sudden meaningless deaths still wouldn’t be bad writing. The deaths significantly contribute to the tense atmosphere of the whole story. The author setting up the great inevitability of death paints a vivid picture of what the characters are going against, which is important because the Boss enemy has no physical form. The characters can’t fight it head-on like with a zombie.

And amidst all this hopelessness, our main character An Zhe shines like sunshine in the rain. He is the one thing that saves this story from further sinking into the abyss. His character is not exactly sunny and all-smiles, but he has a certain charm that comforts the people around him, and the readers as well. He is the embodiment of hope in this novel, and I couldn’t have asked for a more fitting main character.

Overall, the story highlights the beauty of hope and human will—how humans, in the face of calamity, will struggle and resist. Some may give in, but there will always be those who will continue to fight. This is an apocalypse story that one shouldn’t miss, and I absolutely recommend it to everyone.

#poll test #mermaid effect #人鱼效应 #little mushroom #小蘑菇 #danmei #miyamiwu.src

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tadpolesonalgae · 1 year ago

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I remember you saying you were still deciding who the reader would end up with and all that, so if you want help trying to decide which guy she ends up with, you could try and do a poll, and go with what the results are. It would probably help you narrow to it ideas down and not stress you out too much.

Honestly, I'm team bas at this point. 👀

If not bas, then eris would be a real good option, especially how he sent her that book had my pet butterflies fleeing their wings in my stomach.

I wanna torture Azriel at this point

❣️

That was a bit misleading of me to say—sorry about that!

Since it’s an Az x reader story, Azriel is endgame. However, obviously Bas and Eris are fairly prominent characters in this fic, in terms of potential love interests?

I’d like to utilise one, or both, of them in some way because it would be unrealistic to suddenly join Az and reader together when there are so many obvious problems between them that have yet to be resolved!

It’s more a question of how Bas and Eris will come into play, and what sort of relationships will develop? Whether it’s romantic, or a supportive platonic one but misunderstood to be sexual? How Az—and maybe others👀—will react to those choices and how it will impact Reader (How will the IC feel about the book being given? Do they think Eris is trying to manipulate reader in some way or being genuine? Lots of fun stuff to explore with him 😭🫠)

#❣️ anon <3 #❣️#CBMTHY

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wri0thesley · 1 year ago

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My pea brain completely misunderstood the poll question(I'm really good at reading❤) and thought you were asking us if we could beat them in a fight for you.🧍‍♂️ I think I have a solid chance at kaveh so that's why. I voted. For him. Augh.

VFJNKVFDJKN. you're going to fight kaveh for me? even though it will emotionally take SUCH a toll? anon . . . i am flattered . . .

#sending u a platonic smooch right on ur forehead but please leave him alone #he's already losing that battle SO SO BAD #nat.txt

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redjaybathood · 2 years ago

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Why I personally liked the poll reference:

Look, it wasn't yet another crowbar joke. It wasn't a poll like in RH/A or B&R, just for an echo of a fucked up thing DC did in the past - even then, it's kinda... hard to say is it an easter egg for the sake of an easter egg, kinda like MCU does; or is it a commentary. With the previous iterations being Morrisson and Lobdell, I don't expect much.

But webtoon seems to get it. Yeah, okay, there is a poll - Bruce shows it to Jason (and correct me if I'm wrong, but where do people get the idea the poll was sourced by Bruce?) - and more people lean toward no, Batman shouldn't keep the new Robin - which, you kinda can interpret it differently. I, for one, would not let Batman keep the new Robin. Or any Robin. Like, okay, don't start with "but he wanted that! he would be doing it anyway!" etc etc bc you clearly don't know what you sound like; the one argument I can accept is "Robin is for kid readers to project to" but this is not, like, in-universe explanation. Imagine being a random Gotham citizen. And a boy younger than you, could be your son, could be your brother - is out there risking his life? Is it something tolerable? Does it not feel like you failed, as a citizen, if you put children in this position? "they want that" - okay, you could say the same about kids that start working at, like, fourteen, or earlier. They surely want to work, because they want to eat, or live in a house, or have any basic necessity their peers have for granted. Kids shouldn't be working - we have laws against child labor for that exact reason (I am forcing myself not to derail on that topic). So a society where a kid works is a society that failed that kid. A city where a kid is a vigilante is equally a failed one. So put yourself into the shoes of a random-ass Gotham citizen and check how you feel about it. Should, indeed, Batman keep the Robin? Like, good luck stopping him! But should he?

This is not a question of whether Robin should die. Or whether this Robin is cooler or lamer than the previous one. Not for me, at least.

Yeah, no, I know Bruce makes it out to be that Jason doesn't know the city as well as he thinks, that the city hates him, that he surely did something for the city to hate him, probably misunderstood what the city really needs... but he's wrong. He's like. Very wrong. Jason wasn't wrong, the stolen bike wasn't worth Batman's involvement, the teen who stole it didn't deserve to go to jail over it, and the breaking up of the stolen goods fence ring was, indeed, not going to amount to anything while there are people who answer to people who answer to people. He might have been wrong because the change should come from the bottom as well as from the top. But that's it, folks. He's right about everyone else.

Like, I don't know if you should take the poll at face value at all. If you should believe Bruce. Maybe Gotham citizens do hate the new Robin, the previous one was cooler. But if that's what's behind their answers - like, fuck them? Jason is right, and being popular with the masses has nothing to do with it. He's not canvassing for voters, pun not intended.

IDK, I just vibe with this issue. And honestly don't get where the criticism comes from.

#red hood: outlaws #jason todd

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powerpolyculeshowdown · 2 years ago

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I think a poll is probably the easiest way to do it, I think you made the right call, and feel free to skip this one if it is not a conversation you want to poke at... but my take on the Doctor Who ship situation is that it's a matter of degree? Like a show like "you me her" is explicitly Canon polycule, three+ people in a relationship ongoing, all of them in relationship with each other... And then you have leverage which is that except that one arm of the triangle isn't explicit on screen but with like coding in place and fandom sentiment and word of creator etc...

So if the ship is a like long-term focal point of the piece of media, that seems easier to assess it as a polycule...

But then when you have a situation like Doctor Who or I'm sure other pieces of media on this list where the attraction between the participants is either Canon or heavily coded etc But you do not get to see them function very often all three together... Often because of the genre of the piece of media? Does that make them not count as the polycule for this purpose then? Because we don't see that potential relationship whether it's coded or explicit come to fruition?

I'm not someone who has ever watched much Doctor Who, so I don't know for how long Jack and Rose and the doctor travel together... Just that I know that Jack has kissed both of them, which is about as explicit as mamy pieces of media can hope to get... So is the question then like does it count if we have evidence that the attraction is reciprocated on the doctor's end? Or is it an issue of duration/ completion/ time spent in relationship since it's just, assuming it is just like a quick moment, the clip I think I've seen.

Basically, do we need to see the polycule function on screen (or on the page etc) together at the same time for a certain duration? Or is it just a question of whether all members of the polycule wanted to be in the polycule whether or not it was able to happen?

its not really about screentime, and the doctor doesnt need to reciprocate the feelings because if only rose does it could be still be a V relationship. the thing is idk anything about either of them being interested in jack, i kno2 jack kissed them so its obvious he at least is polyam and likes them, and ppl said smth about a dance scene being an analogy for sex which i dont rlly get cause i never saw the scene (i also dont watch dw)

so my confusion is mostly like, is it hinted in canon that either 9 or rose feel the same way? or does it look like its one sided from jack? thats a genuine question because i like i said i havent watched doctor who and the explanation for the why its implied canon made me confused. it sounds one sided, but i couldve misunderstood! which is why im asking you all

still cant see results so idk how its going but thank u anyone whos voting on that

#polyasks

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emptymanuscript · 3 months ago

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This sort of reaction completely bewilders me.

I know, I know, MAGA is a literal cult of personality for Trump but still.

How do you hold “he supports a prolife position” AND “his statements seem calculated to alienate the prolife position” at the same time.

It seems to me that your choices are:

we’ve misunderstood what he’s said - now we just have to figure out which statement we misunderstood. Which seems like the obvious cult choice to me.

He has changed his mind because he has had a change of heart. He did support our viewpoint in the past but he doesn’t support our viewpoint anymore.

He has changed his mind because the polls extremely disfavor our viewpoint and, at least in this case, he cares more about what is popular than what he has said he believes, and so will flip-flop like any other lying politician in the swamp to get the votes. And even if he does, generally, agree with us, this topic which is fundamental to us, isn’t one he’s willing to stand strong on.

He hasn’t changed his mind, just what he says, because he has NEVER particularly cared about abortion and prolife. He’s just said he cared to get our vote. And once he calculated that the position would cost him more than it would benefit him, he flip-flopped like a lying Rino because, at least for this policy position, that’s what he has always been.

He hasn’t changed hid mind. He simply holds a position that is BOTH not the majority position AND not our position. He believes in something in between that is neither. We are his allies in this because we are CLOSER to his position but he isn’t interested in letting us have our way and settling for the closer position to his. He’s demanding that we settle for his position that won’t actually give us what we want, just get us closer to getting it than the alternative. So the question is just whether we’re willing to settle for less abortion or if we can’t morally support any.

He has no real policy positions or opinions and never has. He hasn’t changed his mind. He isn’t a flip-flopper. He’s simply a liar who will say whatever happens to occur to him as something the particular audience he is talking to likes. It’s nothing but grift and we’ve been the suckers for nearly a decade now. This seems the least likely take to me, since it requires admitting that he took advantage of his supporters. And NO ONE wants to admit that someone else used and abused them successfully. Nobody wants to be a victim.

Don’t think. Just accept. Be sheeple. Whatever apparent paradox there seems to be is simply the limits of our ignorance. Someone better than us, like Trump, has figured out how it is NOT actually a paradox. We must simply accept that our betters do actually know better than us, shut the heck up, and fall in line behind our shepherd. Of course, that’s kind of already been ruined by the question itself. I suppose it requires exiling the blasphemous poster.

There’s probably other takes but it’s very late (early) and I can’t think of them right now.

What am I forgetting?

Sometimes I do wish people would write their answer where I could observe it. But not enough to actually deal with them. I suppose what I REALLY want is someone to answer with something that I haven’t thought of which elevates my opinion of the answer writer. You know, convinces me that the majority of Trump supporters are actually quite good people who I merely disagree with at the policy level and not people I don’t feel like I can cohabitate on the same planet with without just losing my mind with utter despair or incandescent rage.

I want someone to prove to me - in some unimaginable way that I will actually believe and trust - that most people are mostly decent.

I am profoundly tired of people saying to me that half the population can’t be evil and having my immediate gut reaction be that they’re right, that half is far too small a percentage to cover the debased state of humanity. Honestly, I feel like most of us just have to go. :/ and yeah, I definitely go on the list if I’m being honest.

:/ I suppose this is WHY I am in so much therapy and taking all these drugs. :/

Meh.

Feh, even.

Why is the world so bleak when it gets late. :/ I miss my depression blog.

Ugh.

I give up for tonight.

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salonnierealexis · 6 months ago

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Brooke sees the change as starting in our interpersonal relationships – by seeking to understand our individual blindspots and biases, learning to relate to others without negating ourselves, and speaking our mind thoughtfully, with care and conviction. And in the event that we are called out for being ignorant, insensitive or offensive, we can try to resist the impulse to either defiantly double down or instantly apologise, and instead parse the feedback for what we can learn and how we might do better in future. Some comfort with difficult conversations is necessary if we’re ever to achieve transformative change, Brooke points out: “A lot of this is about being willing to take emotional and conversational risks – because that’s what creates intimacy and understanding.” Now, when posting on social media, Brooke ascertains her motive or goal: “Is it just to get this thought out there, or to further a conversation, to change someone’s mind, or to reach more people?” That clarity makes it easier to weather disagreement, she says – or to direct your energy elsewhere.

Everyone’s so intolerant online. Am I right to stay silent?

Elle HuntWed 22 May 2024 08.00 EDTShare

A few years ago, I found myself in an unexpected debate.

My date and I had been talking about horror films. I’d always enjoyed them; he wasn’t a fan. He liked Alien, though.

My response was immediate: “Alien’s not a horror film.”

Horror films, I said, reflect the everyday: Rosemary’s Baby (pregnancy), Hereditary (grief), Midsommar (a semester abroad). Alien, being set in space, was sci-fi.

It was typical pub chat, my conviction proportional to the one and a half glasses of wine I’d drunk. But I wanted to settle the debate, so I posted a poll to Twitter.

Within less than 24 hours, it had received 120,000 votes, overwhelmingly concluding that Alien was a horror film – and vitriolic messages were pouring in.

Online, people held me up as an example of everything wrong with journalism, scouring my work for further evidence of my idiocy, and CCing my editors to demand I be fired (I’m self-employed – but believe me, at that moment, I’d have fired myself if I could).

Scorn, rage and abuse ran rampant in my replies and DMs – much of it sexist, some violent. Entire episodes of film podcasts were dedicated to explaining why I was so wrong.

The scale and feeling of the response was shocking, unpleasant and hard to brush off. For months, I second-guessed every published sentence, trying to anticipate bad-faith interpretations.

Since then, I’ve been more circumspect about what I post – and have watched, with mounting unease, as countless more people have been thrust into the punitive spotlight.

There was the woman who tweeted about enjoying her morning routine of having coffee with her husband in their backyard. The New Yorker whose joke about impulse-buying candy at the bodega drew 40,000 responses, most of them scathing. The woman whose “motherly urge” to make chilli for her young neighbours was shouted down by strangers.

All, like me, hold the dubious honour of having been Twitter’s “main character”. Our inflammatory tweets might have been ripe for ridicule and perhaps ill-judged – but online pile-ons can have huge potential for harm.

The effect? It’s no longer just people like me, who have been burned by the spotlight, who are sensitive about sharing online; it’s everyone watching on, too.

When I asked friends and followers if they fear backlash on social media, I’m surprised by who the question resonates with. They’re not journalists, experts or people with large followings. They’re just individuals on the internet.

“I don’t fear ‘cancellation’, per se, but being aggressively misunderstood,” says one.

One gen Z friend tells me they worry about being called out for posting the wrong thing – or not posting enough of the right things. Several say they edit their posts and hold off on sharing jokes for fear of inadvertently causing offence.

“The ferocity of backlash these days feels much worse than it was even a few years ago,” says one friend. A 2021 YouGov survey found that nearly 60% of Britons have “at least sometimes” stopped themselves from expressing political and social views for fear of judgment or negative responses from others – a majority view among Conservative and Labour voters alike.

The same year, a study by Pew of 10,000 US adults found “a public deeply divided” about “call-out culture” online. What some saw as people experiencing the consequences of their actions, others saw as unjust punishment.

The perception of an ‘external’ mob can create an internalised one

Africa Brooke

“You don’t even need to be someone who’s hyper-visible to be experiencing these things, the spillover into our offline lives is so profound,” says Africa Brooke, when I reach her by Zoom in New York.

Brooke’s book The Third Perspective: Brave Expression in the Age of Intolerance is a guide for how to navigate online hostility, informed by her experience as a Black woman engaged in the social justice sector, and insights from people who fear or have experienced backlash.

The online climate is intolerant of human complexity, Brooke argues, allowing no room for people “to stumble, fuck up, learn and grow”. Users treat each other as public figures who must be “held to account” and an online profile constitutes a “platform” you are obligated to use – despite the costs of misspeaking, revealing your ignorance or even holding a different opinion.

As a result, many are learning to stay silent. “The perception of an ‘external’ mob can create an internalised one,” she writes. It can stoke self-doubt, anxiety and fear of judgment.

View image in fullscreenAfrica Brooke is the author of The Third Perspective. Composite: Africa Brooke

Brooke’s frustrations came to a head in 2020, when – tired of having identity politics and labels thrust upon her as a female entrepreneur – she published an open letter, expressing her fears of “a world that forces me to submit to an ideology without question”.

The title, “Why I’m leaving the cult of anti-wokeness”, was provocative, she says, aiming to ruffle feathers on the left and the right to highlight their similar close-mindedness – and it struck a chord, accumulating 20m views.

Brooke describes her own politics as left-leaning, with “values that align with feminism” – though she doesn’t call herself a feminist. “I’m from Zimbabwe, where we haven’t used that language … we don’t wear those same labels as the west.” More important than how we phrase or identify our politics and values, Brooke suggests, is how we enact them.

She emphasises that people should generally be mindful of others, question their biases and strive for inclusivity: “You need to read the room, and understand the people you’re speaking to.”skip past newsletter promotion

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But she stresses the difference between social filtering driven by discernment and “self-censoring” out of fear, “where there’s a very real concern that the truth is going to lead to punishment”. Whether we’re second-guessing our own online presence or policing others’, “there is that culture of surveillance”.

In The Third Perspective, Brooke sets out how our innate desire to belong to “the in-group” combines with the structural design of online platforms to perpetuate pile-ons. They are dehumanising by nature, leading you to think of yourself as an “employee of Instagram”, obliged to contribute your thoughts, opinions and anger – and to manage others you see as letting the side down.

Opting out altogether is not always possible, with people increasingly obliged to maintain digital presences for their work and relationships. But what’s at stake with this febrile, suppressive climate is more than just the freedom to express ourselves online.

A 2020 study found that social media was contributing to widespread dehumanisation by stoking the perception of threat, locking people into their positions and distorting their worldview to create what researchers termed an “intractable conflict”.https://interactive.guim.co.uk/uploader/embed/2023/10/archive-zip/giv-13425WMrLo2pc9VIk/

Brooke is concerned that the often highly academic, note-perfect politics preached in particular within corners of the left might be pushing people towards apathy, hopelessness or more entrenched bigotry. “I don’t think we should go to the other end of saying ‘Fuck this’ – but I worry that we are pushing people in that direction.”

Brooke and I agree that the term “cancel culture” is counterproductive, being widely and haphazardly applied to furores with different stakes, harms and outcomes – and often weaponised disingenuously by those who seek to profit from it.

Brooke prefers to speak of “collective self-sabotage”, whereby people might speak out or stay silent in a way that works against our best interests and progress as a society.

Many people feel like they’re walking a tightrope: wanting to express themselves online or feeling social pressure to post, at the same time fearing to put a foot wrong. It’s no wonder they might stick to sharing pictures of cats – though I was once lovingly told by a friend that I was posting mine too much.

“It’s a very anti-intimacy culture we’re creating,” says Brooke – not in the context of romantic love (though dating apps have made us more brittle and prescriptive there, too), but in the sense of being open to others’ experience, self-expression and humanity. After nearly 10 years of this exhausting cycle, there’s increasing desire for “common sense”, Brooke says. “People are fed up.”

She advocates gaining an awareness of how social media pits us against each other and reflecting on how we want to participate in the public sphere. Online activism plays an important part in raising awareness of crises and causes, but it’s not the only way to make ourselves heard. “We have an assumption that to undo self-censorship and speak bravely, we need to be brave online, but that’s not the case,” says Brooke.

A lot of this is about being willing to take emotional and conversational risks – because that’s what creates intimacy and understanding

Africa Brooke

We might decide to post less, but protest, write to politicians and donate more – and try to engage others in person.

The best way to build confidence expressing yourself is “moment to moment”, Brooke says, increasing your self-awareness and tolerance for debate. “Social media should not be the training ground for any of this … It has to be a byproduct of the work you’re doing offline.”

And in the event that we are called out for being ignorant, insensitive or offensive, we can try to resist the impulse to either defiantly double down or instantly apologise, and instead parse the feedback for what we can learn and how we might do better in future.

Some comfort with difficult conversations is necessary if we’re ever to achieve transformative change, Brooke points out: “A lot of this is about being willing to take emotional and conversational risks – because that’s what creates intimacy and understanding.”

Now, when posting on social media, Brooke ascertains her motive or goal: “Is it just to get this thought out there, or to further a conversation, to change someone’s mind, or to reach more people?” That clarity makes it easier to weather disagreement, she says – or to direct your energy elsewhere.

Since Alien-gate, I’ve shared less on social media – but I’ve tried to be more thoughtful.

I’ve often wondered, of the people who pilloried me for my provocative opinion, how they would have reacted had they been my date. They might not have wanted to see me again – but I like to think that they might not have called me stupid and complained to my bosses.

Years later, my definition of horror is less rigid. I hope they have changed, too.

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swanpyart · 7 months ago

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For the record, I am not a trans woman, I am an asexual woman, and I answered “yes”, but I think it depends on a few things.

For one thing, it’s a bit too specific. There’s a whole spectrum of genders, and I think it differs from sexuality in that sexuality is comparatively more easy for the individual to identify internally (knowing who you do or don’t want to get with is perhaps easier than identifying yourself). I might suggest that this hypothetical friend might consider trying different pronouns, or suggest some resources. I guess it depends on the context; I’m autistic, so I wouldn’t just come out and say “maybe you’re a trans woman?” I’d probably pose the question as “Are you questioning your gender identity at all?” Or “Hey, this is a common experience that many trans women deal with. Perhaps I can help you do some research on it?”

I don’t think it’s be wrong to suggest being a trans woman, as it’s definitely in the wheelhouse, but I think the poll is worded a bit oddly because it doesn’t leave much nuance and could be misunderstood. Is this friend open to questioning their identity? Are they at all interested in receiving this advice from you? Are they asking questions related to their gender, or is it that you noticed some behavior of theirs and you feel the need to bring it up?

Also, it’s possible people are answering no because, since they are not trans, they don’t know if this individual is actually showing gender dysphoria or if it’s their own bias/stereotyping/lack of knowledge/awkwardness that may be causing them to wrongly assume. I think most who answered the poll don’t want to wrongly assume someone’s gender unless prompted by someone else.

So, my answer was “yes, it is appropriate, but with some slight caveats taking into account.”

Consider: you are talking to a friend who is a cisgender man, and he says or does something which you think implies either gender dysphoria or a desired gender euphoria.

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hellomynameisbisexual · 3 years ago

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Andrew Ford was questioned and fetishized when he came out as bisexual. The gay community insisted he wasn’t being honest with himself; women at clubs started to excitedly fantasize about hooking up with two guys at the same time.

All the while, the soccer standout stayed true to himself. Ford came out his freshman year at Malone University, a small Christian liberal arts college in Canton, Ohio — home of the Pro Football Hall of Fame. His friends and teammates were accepting, which was an incredible relief. But his journey into the LGBTQ community was a little more rocky.

“I got a lot of pressure from the gay community,” Ford told me recently on the phone. “I felt like I was misunderstood, and didn’t know who I was.”

Ford is one of an increasing number of openly bisexual college-aged athletes whom we’ve profiled recently on Outsports. Despite some surveys showing more Americans identify as bisexual than either gay or lesbian, there is a dearth of bi visibility in pop culture and sports.

As bi sportswriter Jeff Rueter challenged me: “name a bisexual man, and don’t say Frank Ocean.”

These kick-ass kids are going to change that.

Biphobia is real

Let’s start here: Biphobia is real. It manifests itself in gestures as seemingly fleeting as dismissive jokes, and actions as harrowing as outright physical violence. Bisexual people typically suffer significantly higher rates of depression and anxiety, domestic violence, sexual assault, and poverty than lesbians, gay men, or straight cisgender people, according to the Human Rights Campaign.

A black-and-white society, most of us grow up with the notion people are either straight or gay. Those attitudes have historically prevailed in the LGBTQ community, too.

Alex Keuroghlian, the Director of the National LGBTQIA+ Health Education Center at the Fenway Institute, says bisexual people can be looked at skeptically.

“Within LGBTQIA+ communities, there has historically been a stigma toward bisexual people, and the false notion that they’re really gay and lesbian people who haven’t accepted that about themselves,” he said.

Megan Duthart, a rower at Washington State University who identifies as both bi and queer, has experienced the stigma first-hand. She says she thinks bisexual people are often excluded in the LGBTQ community.

“I’ve struggled a little bit with being identified as an ‘other’ in the community with the term ‘bisexuality,’” she said.

Why are bi people targeted for erasure?

More people are identifying as bisexual. Over three percent of U.S. adults say they’re bi, according to the 2018 General Social Survey. That’s three times the number as 2008.

And yet, bi people are still targeted for erasure. One of the ways it happens is through language. When people see same-sex couples, for example, they may be inclined to label them as “gay” or “lesbian,” without considering that one or both of the people could identity as bi.

While Americans’ attitudes about sexuality are evolving, many still adhere to more binary definitions of sexual orientation. A recent YouGov poll found 41 percent of American adults don’t think sexuality is a spectrum (conversely, 37 percent think it is).

As Ford puts it, bisexuality is stereotypically viewed as “the stepping stone stage.” That ties into one of the more insidious aspects of bi-erasure: the belief that it’s just a phase. It’s a line Ford recalls hearing many times, from both men and women.

“(Gay men) said, ‘I came out as bisexual first. It’s just a phase, you won’t be there long,’” Ford said. “I was also scared how women would think about it. They wanted to change me. Some of them wanted to use it as a thrill they were seeking.”

When professional hockey player Zach Sullivan came out as bi, his father told him it meant he was still making up his mind.

“I remember what my dad said when I told him,” Sullivan said. “‘Well, you aren’t all the way there. You haven’t really decided.’ I was like, ‘no, I know I’m attracted to both genders. I’m not halfway towards coming out as gay.’”

The bi burden

Every LGBTQ person can relate to the fear and anxiety of coming out. But for most of us, once we do it, it’s over.

That’s not the case for bi people.

“We have to keep coming out to our significant others, whether it’s a man or a woman,” Ford said. “If you’re gay and you start dating a gay, you’re not going to be like, ‘I have to tell you something: I’m gay.’ They’re going to be like, ‘no shit.’”

And once bi people do come out, they could get charged with being greedy — the sexual equivalent of having their cake and eating it, too. The insult angers Sullivan.

“The majority of people in the LGBT+ community have struggled with their sexuality, and when they finally become comfortable enough to come out in the open with their sexuality, I don’t think the first thing to say to someone who’s come out as bisexual is they’re greedy,” Sullivan said. “I took over 10 years to get to where I am.”

Duthart finds the concept of bisexuality can be difficult to explain. She largely identifies as queer.

“I’ve had coaches question whether I’m rebelling or going through a phase,” she said. “Then when I explain the whole queer aspect, they’re like, ‘Oh, OK. That seems more justified.’ I don’t want to have to justify those things, but I sort of have to.”

Changing attitudes

Jack Storrs came out as bisexual last year as a college football captain. His teammates at Pomona-Pitzer rallied around him, and wore Pride decals on their helmets.

But even some who were supportive suggested he was on his way to identifying as gay. Storrs said he couldn’t hide his feelings for men anymore, and came out because he wanted to explore.

Maybe he was gay, maybe he wasn’t. The questions didn't bother him. He was a relieved to have the dialogue.

“It was killing me on the inside,” Storrs said. “It got to the point where I was like, ‘screw it.’ This is who I am, and this was meant to be.”

Nowadays, Storrs says he’s more towards the “gay end of the spectrum,” and expects the fluidity to continue.

He’s cool with that, and numbers show his peers are, too. Generation Z is among the most progressive and diverse in U.S. history. A 2018 study from Ipsos Mori shows only 66 percent of young people today identify exclusively as heterosexual.

Young people have a better understanding of how sexuality can evolve, says Keuroghlian.

“There’s been less of a reflex to box people in, and categorize people in ways that could be static,” he said. “A key part of all of this is not projecting behavior or projecting attraction. People tell us — they self-identify that’s who they are. And we have to honor that.”

Visibility challenges misperceptions

But to get back to Rueter’s question: can you name a famous out bisexual person besides Frank Ocean?

It’s challenging, and the lack of bi visibility may be one of the biggest contributors towards bi-erasure. But that is changing. Each person who comes out as bisexual has the ability to change perceptions within their own communities — and many young athletes are.

Bri Tollie, a bisexual college basketball player at Southern Methodist University, wrote in her coming-out story she refuses to conform.

“It is important to be visible because everyone is unique,” she wrote. “Our uniqueness means no one should not have to give up a part of themselves to conform. It is called self-respect.”

Growing up, Storrs tried to shut off his attraction to guys. He told himself it wasn’t a big deal, but the angst became all-encompassing.

Storrs is done hiding any part of himself. He did that for far too long, and is now out for all to see.

“I am bisexual, and my point is, I don’t really give a shit what anybody else thinks,” Storrs said. “This is who I am, and I don’t have to figure it out, but the reason I’m coming out is to figure it out, or at least get to a point where I’m comfortable.”

With their stories, these young bi athletes are making it more comfortable for bi people every single day.

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milenadaniels · 3 years ago

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Hi! I saw your tag on your informal buddie lap makeout poll (Which, exceptional scientific inquiry. Cannot wait to see the results. Especially if it leads you to write something...)

Anyway, what is your thinking on lonestar and a potential buck +e ddie sex scene? (FWIW, I don't watch LS. I tried, but just could not. Not yucking anyone's yum, just didn't work for me.)

Curious what you think?

Thank you! The study is going well, I look forward to analyzing the results in depth!

(Please note: after three hours of writing out this response, I realize I may have misunderstood your question 😂 If you meant "what do you think a buddie sex scene would look like given tarlos", please let me know and it would be my genuine pleasure to describe that in great detail. What follows is not that.....)

I have been thinking about the potential of a buddie sex scene more than I ought to, I'm sure. You could say I've been a smidge preoccupied since realizing all the legit sex scenes in the show happened in season 1/early season 2. In seasons 3/4, the closest I think we've gotten to textual sex is Madney having sex to induce labour and that consisted of Maddie throwing her shirt at Chimney from off-screen.

Someone on that post (can't find it now of course) said that 911 Lone Star took over the original 911 later time slot and thus took over the ability to have sexier content.

As someone who hasn't watched a television show live in like 5 years, your ask has prompted me to do actual research to confirm this 🤓 According to pogdesign, 911 currently plays Mondays at 8pm and 911LS plays at 9pm which supports the theory.

That said, it kind of strikes me as weird that 8pm is considered too early for sexy content? But maybe I'm just out of touch with cable television??

So I did more research! So much research omfg this took 3 hours of my life. 😅

First we define the issue at hand

I'm defining a "sex scene" as a scene that involves two or more people mackin' on each other with any of the following:

the beginning of clothing removal onscreen

the movement towards a bedroom or bed

getting into someone's lap as a sign of escalation

post-coital pillow talk or cuddling

actual shots of naked skin and writhing (softcore porn essentially)

So 911 got moved to 8pm. Do any other 8pm shows have sex scenes?

CW - The 100 🔥 (I know there was a minimum of 2 wlw sex scenes, though they may have been post-coital)

CW - Riverdale 🔥🔥 is another teen show that I don't watch so I youtubed "Riverdale sex scenes" and I'm led to believe at least one couple is banging semi-onscreen well into season 4 (it has 4 seasons???)

NBC - Chicago Med 🔥, a procedural show not about teenagers and seems to have a least 1 couple with sexy scenes (the other Chicagos air at 9pm and 10pm) and I saw lap sitting for a hardcore makeout for the other couple!!!!! TIM TAKE NOTES!

NBC - Superstore 🔥, a half-hour comedy that played at 8pm on NBC, did have at least this one cut-away sex scene

So 2 teen shows, 1 procedural and 1 comedy all had something in the way of "sex scenes" while airing at 8pm.

But what if Fox the network is the sex-scene-killers??

Apparently Fox literally has only 5 scripted dramas of which the 911 is one and the others are:

The Resident 🔥🔥, a medical drama that plays at 8pm as of season 2 (9pm for season 1) and the main couple seem to have several sex scenes, but interestingly from what I can glean from YT, they may have stopped after s2 (though the couple stays together until at least s4 from what I can tell)

LA's Finest 🚫, a rebroadcast through Fox, it airs at 9pm and YT didn't show me any sexy scenes

Fantasy Island 🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm and looks to have sexier content based on the trailer

911: Lone Star 🔥🔥🔥 which plays at 9pm. Tarlos have had like 2 heavy makeouts/implied sex scenes plus a pretty hardcore-for-tv sex scene in the s2 finale

So it seems like even for Fox, the 8pm timeslot isn't necessarily what's vetoing the sex scenes in 911. But just to hammer that home, I did even more researching into the watershed hours, which is apparently the designated time broadcasters can show sexiness, but in the US that's 10pm to 6am so if the restrictions were such that they couldn't show any sex scenes before 10pm, Tarlos wouldn't have gotten that finale action (thank you, IRL bff who watched 911LS so I didn't have to!)

TL;DR - a summation of our findings

The 8pm timeslot is not the sex-scene-killer I once thought it was (see: all them filthy shows)

911 being a cop show is not a sex-scene-killer (see: dramas, procedurals and comedies all had sex scenes)

Fox is not anti-sex in their 8pm scripted dramas in general (see: The Resident)

Fox is not anti-sex homophobically (see: Tarlos, Hen/Eva)

However!! There seems to be a somewhat weird, somewhat isolated trend of Fox shows either cutting off or tapering off sex scenes (see: 911, The Resident) after 2 seasons or specifically after 2019.

So what are the theories (from least to most favourite)?

Theory #1 (Buddie loses 🚫): "Something" happened at Fox in 2019. The Resident is the only true analogue to 911 as it's also on Fox, also premiered in January 2018, also started at 9pm but was moved to 8pm (in season 2, not season 3 like 911). If my very brief googling can be trusted, The Resident saw a lot of sex scenes in season 2 (at 8pm) but after 2019 there isn't much to write home about. That lines up with what we've seen in 911. If something happened internally at Fox that changed broadcasting guidelines for 8pm, then canon Buddie will not get sex scenes unless the timeslot changes back.

Pros: It would be a hell of a coincidence wouldn't it?? Both shows airing around the same time, both stop showing sex scenes around the same time???

Cons: It's pretty weak, I can't find anything that supports "something" happening in 2019 that would affect an 8pm timeslot but not the 9pm one.

Theory #2 (Buddie loses 🚫): Sex as a short-term sales tactic. Fox uses sex in the first two seasons of shows to boost ratings and get people hooked because sex sells. But then, for whatever reason, they taper it off. If so, Buddie being canonized would not produce any sex scenes as we're far removed from season 2.

Pros: The Resident and 911 both stopped showing sex scenes after season 2 from what I can gather

Cons: If sex sells, why wouldn't it keep selling all the way to the bank?? There's no reason to stop something that's working.

Theory #3 (Buddie wins 🔥): Actors are the roadblock. Fox is fine with sex scenes at 8pm but the actors aren't comfortable! If so, Buddie sex scenes could be in the cards as both actors have had on-screen sex scenes previously.

Pros: Angela Bassett, Peter Krause and JLH are bigger names and they presumably get to not get naked on screen or simulate sex scenes if they don't want to. Aisha Hinds as a (criminally) smaller name wouldn't have had that kind of leverage in season 1, nor would Ryan Guzman in season 2? And Oliver Stark knew what he was signing up to to play a self-diagnosed "sex addict" so.

Cons: This is absolute, complete conjecture. I have zero idea what each of their comfort levels with sex scenes are or how that might relate to the writing/direction of their characters.

Theory #4 (Buddie wins 🔥): Stable canon relationships kill sex. Fox dramas use sex only pre-maritally to build relationships and the network or the showrunners/writers decide it's not as important once characters are in stable relationships/married. If so, we will get Buddie sex scenes as their canon relationship develops.

Pros: The Resident couple did get married post-season 2 I think? Athena stopped having onscreen sex after she married Bobby. Hen had sex but out of her marriage.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone. And we technically do have a Madney sex scene, tame as it was (but maybe they straddle of the line of stable but pre-marital???). Also if sex = building relationship, EddieAna have been excluded from that formula oops 😌

Theory #5 (Buddie wins 🔥): We're overthinking all of this. There hasn't been sex scenes past season 2 because the stories haven't called for it but when it does, such as the start of a new relationship, then we'll get some!

Pros: We haven't had any "new" relationships other than EddieAna since season 2 and their lack of intimacy is a glaring reminder they aren't well suited - they're not boning for plot reasons. While not strictly meeting the aforementioned definition of a "sex scene", we could use Albert coming out of Veronica's shower as a use of sex-as-relationship-building.

Cons: That's dumb, let married people bone, the sequel. Especially since HenRen is criminally neglected in terms of development and could use a fun playful sex scene.

So what have we learned?

Should Buddie go canon, 3 theories indicate we'd get some sex scenes for them, and only 2 say we wouldn't. The odds are in our favour. 🤡

I will do literally anything to procrastinate writing this damn fic that's been tormenting me for weeks. Please someone, anybody...send help...

#buddie meta #buddie #911 meta #are you also kept awake at night by the thought of canon buddie without sex scenes??#or even lap sitting makeouts????#well rest your weary head on this qualitative data analysis friends!! the future looks 60% bright!#911 reference #my posts #did you know we could add colour to text now guys?? did you know the mac keyboard comes default with emoticons??#the things I learned this night

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yourreddancer · 3 years ago

Text

Heather Cox Richardson

March 22, 2022 (Tuesday)

Right on cue, Republican Senator Mike Braun of Indiana today told a reporter that states not only should decide the issue of abortion but should also be able to decide the issues of whether interracial marriage should be legal and whether couples should have access to contraception. He told a reporter: “Well, you can list a whole host of issues, when it comes down to whatever they are, I’m going to say that they’re not going to all make you happy within a given state, but we’re better off having states manifest their points of view rather than homogenizing it across the country as Roe v. Wade did.”

After an extraordinary backlash to his statements, Braun walked back what he had said, claiming he had misunderstood the question. “Earlier during a virtual press conference I misunderstood a line of questioning that ended up being about interracial marriage, let me be clear on that issue—there is no question the Constitution prohibits discrimination of any kind based on race, that is not something that is even up for debate, and I condemn racism in any form, at all levels and by any states, entities, or individuals,” he said.But he had stated his position quite clearly, and as he originally stated it, that position was intellectually consistent.

After World War II, the Supreme Court used the Fourteenth Amendment to protect civil rights in the states, imposing the government’s interest in protecting equality to overrule discriminatory legislation by the states. Now, Republicans want to return power to the states, where those who are allowed to vote can impose discriminatory laws on minorities.

Senator Braun is correct: it is not possible to overrule the Supreme Court’s use of the Fourteenth Amendment to protect civil rights on just one issue. If you are going to say that the states should be able to do as they wish without the federal government protecting civil rights on, say, the issue of abortion, you must entertain the principle that the entire body of decisions in which the federal government protects civil rights, beginning with the 1954 Brown v. Board of Education decision ending segregation in the public schools, is illegitimate.

And that is off-the-charts huge.

It is, quite literally, the same argument that gave us the claimed right of states to enslave people within their borders before the Civil War, even as a majority of Americans objected to that system. More recently, it is the argument that made birth control illegal in many states, a restriction that endangered women’s lives and hampered their ability to participate in the workforce as unplanned pregnancies enabled employers to discriminate against them. It is the argument that prohibits abortion and gay marriage; in many states, laws with those restrictions are still on the books and will take effect just as soon as the Supreme Court decisions of Roe v. Wade and Obergefell v. Hodges are overturned.

Braun’s willingness to abandon the right of Americans to marry across racial lines was pointed, since Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, whose confirmation hearing for her elevation to the Supreme Court is currently underway in the Senate, is Black and her husband is non-Black. The world Braun described would permit states to declare their 26-year marriage illegal, as it would have been in many states before the 1967 Loving v. Virginia decision declared that states could not prohibit interracial marriages. This would also be a problem for sitting justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Ginni

.But it is not just Braun talking about rolling back civil rights. This week, Senator Marsha Blackburn (R-TN) has challenged the Griswold v. Connecticut decision legalizing contraception, and Senator John Cornyn (R-TX) has questioned Obergefell.

Seventy percent of Americans support same-sex marriage. In 2012—the most recent poll I can find—89% of Americans thought birth control was morally acceptable, and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported that as of 2008, 99% of sexually active American women use birth control in their lifetimes. And even the right to abortion, that issue that has burned in American politics since 1972 when President Richard Nixon began to use it to attract Democratic Catholics to the Republican ticket, remains popular. According to a 2021 Pew poll, 59% of Americans believe it should be legal in most or all cases.

A full decade ago, in April 2012, respected scholars Thomas Mann, of the Brookings Institution, and Norm Ornstein, of the American Enterprise Institute, crunched the numbers and concluded: “The GOP has become an insurgent outlier in American politics. It is ideologically extreme; scornful of compromise; unmoved by conventional understanding of facts, evidence and science; and dismissive of the legitimacy of its political opposition. When one party moves this far from the mainstream,” they wrote, “it makes it nearly impossible for the political system to deal constructively with the country’s challenges.”

And yet, in the last decade, the party has moved even further to the right. Now it is not only calling for an end to the civil rights protections that undergird modern America, but also lining up behind a leader who tried to overthrow our democracy. A column by Jennifer Rubin in the Washington Post yesterday was titled: “Fringe Republicans are not the problem. It’s the party’s mainstream.”

Rubin points out that Republicans refused to investigate the January 6 attack on the Capitol, refused to reauthorize the Voting Rights Act (which as recently as 2006 enjoyed overwhelming bipartisan support), and refused to impeach Trump for an attempt to overthrow our democracy. The party brought us to the brink of defaulting on the debt, and it tolerates white nationalists in its ranks.

At the state level, prominent Republicans spread covid disinformation, suppress voting, and harass LGBTQ young people. To end abortion, certain Republican-dominated states are offering bounties to anyone reporting women seeking abortions beyond six weeks in a pregnancy. Worse, Rubin notes, “a law in Idaho would force rape victims to endure nine months of pregnancy—while allowing their rapists to collect a bounty for turning them in if they seek an abortion.”

The confirmation hearings this week for the elevation of Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson to the Supreme Court have illustrated that Republican lawmakers are far more interested in creating sound bites for right-wing media and reelection campaigns than in governing. Led by Missouri Senator Josh Hawley and Texas Senator Ted Cruz, Republicans have tried to label Judge Jackson as soft on child pornographers, a smear that has been thoroughly discredited by, among others, the conservative National Review, which called it “meritless to the point of demagoguery.” Their attacks, though, will play well to their base on social media.

Similarly, Cruz made a big play of accusing Jackson of pushing Critical Race Theory in a private school on whose board she sits. “Do you agree…that babies are racist?” he asked, sitting in front of a poster with blown-up images from a book by African American studies scholar Ibram X. Kendi that the school has in its library.

On Twitter, the Republican National Committee cut right to the chase, showing a picture of Judge Jackson under her initials, which were crossed out and replaced with “CRT.”

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hwestalas · 9 months ago

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Ohhh, I should have checked Tumblr sooner! The poll is over! Nooo! But thank you for pointing this out to me; it's a fascinating question!

My first thought was that I don't know Curufin well enough to figure out how he'd act. Then I decided he'd probably take one look at the size of Turin's muscles and beat a wise retreat. Turin thought it was because he'd made a bad impression, started crying, and made friends with the sewer rats by feeding them discarded curly fries because what's a fellow got to do to get some friends around here? And besides, they're misunderstood just like he is.

Then I talked to my dad, and changed my mind because Curufin is 1) "of perilous temper" and 2) slightly drunk, so he might very well see Turin's size as a challenge. He would probably stall to give himself time to figure out what makes Turin mad and come up with a sneaky strategy. (Because I feel like Curufin is a strategy guy. And an equipment guy, but he's unarmed, so it's all brains this time.) (My dad's exact suggestion was that he'd pretend he didn't intend to fight until he got his hands on the big stick. ... "Talk softly until you can carry a big stick"? Excuse me while I chuckle at my own joke.)

So anyways, I guess the main the question is, how is the worst way this could possibly end? Because we have at least two curses going here (Hurin, Doom of Mandos, and possibly Morgoth's general malice toward the Sons of Feanor). Morgoth *probably* wants both of them alive to do more harm... but who knows? A murder could be harmful, too.

As for who's likely to win: Turin, Curse notwithstanding, is really rather good at tactical stuff, if only Curufin doesn't have enough time to think. Turin is also almost certain to win if it was a clean fight based solely on strength, because according to CoH he "had grown as agile as any Elf, but stronger." (Curufin didn't fare very well with the other exceptionally strong descendent of Beor, either, but I daresay "Luthien in danger" is better fighting fuel than "the equivalent of two shots" so who knows if this is relevant.) However, Curufin won't leave it clean if he can possibly help it. He's sneaky. He might be able to kill Turin, but short of that or knocking him out, I don't think Turin is defeatable. One of his most salient traits is that he doesn't know when to give up. Turin is not surrendering or running away, ever... which could make things tricky for Curufin. (Assuming he has qualms about killing Turin. I feel like he's mostly out to prove he can defeat the kid, just for fun.)

There's also a question of whether Curufin might verbally spar a little too hard at the beginning and end up inadvertently setting Turin into a full rage with no warning. The problem is I have no idea which of them is more likely to suddenly die if that happens.

So in conclusion, maybe it's just as well I missed the vote, because I would have missed it anyway by the time I was done contemplating! XD I love hypothesizing, but I'm not very decisive.

So in conclusion, thank you! That was a lot of fun to think about. I want to say Turin wins because I like him better, but I also... just want to imagine Beleg taking this one for him... he'd keep Curufin distracted by throwing cigarette butts with deadly accuracy, so he could make friends with his new allies the sewer rats, then proceed to win. It would be hilarious.

Who would win in a parking lot fistfight?

The rules of the fight:

They are unarmed, shirtless, and have had the equivalent of two shots (everyone, elves and men, equally inebriated)

Currently the parking lot contains: one broken beer bottle, many cigarette butts, two sewer rats, discarded curly fries, and a big stick

Victory is declared once one person surrenders, dies, or flees the scene

ROUND 1, MATCH 8:

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carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich · 4 years ago

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Diabolik Lovers Survey 2020 Results

This year I got 138 responses in total, which is close to double the number I got in 2019 (74 responses) so a big thank you to all of you for taking part and for those who helped to promote it! Now onto the results:

Question 1. Who is your favorite DL character?

1. Subaru Sakamaki (18 votes) (3rd in CL poll, joint 4th in 2019 survey) 2. Shu Sakamaki (16 votes) (1st in CL poll, 1st in 2019 survey) 3. Ruki Mukami (13 votes) (4th in CL poll, joint 6th in 2019 survey) 4. Laito Sakamaki (12 votes) (8th in CL poll, 10th in 2019 survey) 5. Ayato Sakamaki (11 votes) (2nd in CL poll, 3rd in 2019 survey) 6. Reiji Sakamaki (10 votes) (9th in CL poll, 2nd in 2019 survey) 6. Carla Tsukinami (10 votes) (11th in CL poll, 4th in 2019 survey) 6. Kanato Sakamaki (10 votes) (6th in CL poll, joint 6th in 2019 survey) 9. Azusa Mukami (8 votes) (12th in CL poll, 13th in 2019 survey) 9. Yui Komori (8 votes) (7th in CL poll, no votes in 2019 survey) 11. Yuma Mukami (7 votes) (10th in CL poll, joint 6th in 2019 survey) 12. Shin Tsukinami (6 votes) (14th in CL poll, joint 11th in 2019 survey) 13. Kino (3 votes) (13th in CL poll, joint 11th in 2019 survey) 14. Kou Mukami (1 vote) (5th in CL poll, joint 6th in 2019 survey) 14. Richter (1 votes) (did not feature in CL poll, no votes in 2019 survey)

Note: 3 people said they didn’t have a favorite character and 1 person skipped the question. Karlheinz, Beatrix, Cordelia, Christa and Yuri were all available options but they did not receive any votes. I’ve included where they came in the CL poll (the most recent official popularity poll) to show how the results compare. Below you can also see how the voting breaks down compared to the 2019 survey.

While I was a little surprised that Subaru managed to dethrone Shu as the fandom’s overall favorite, I was not surprised by him, Shu, Ruki and Ayato all featuring in the top 5 considering their rankings in the CL poll. Laito also managed to sneak his way in there but considering that he was the winner of the 2018 survey, that wasn’t much of a surprise to me either.

The thing that I really don’t understand is what on Earth happened with Kou. Up until 24 hours before the survey closed, he didn’t have a single vote (lone Kou fan, thank you for stepping up), despite doing pretty well in the CL poll and the 2019 survey. If anyone has any theories on where all the Kou fans have gone then let me know because I am baffled.

Anyway, onto the rest of the survey, because this post is extremely long, I’ve put the rest below the cut.

Question 2. Who is your least favorite diaboy?

1. Kanato Sakamaki (42 votes) (1st in 2019 survey) 2. No least favorite (15 votes) (2nd option in 2019 survey) 3. Kino (14 votes) (3rd in 2019 survey) 4. Ruki Mukami (12 votes) (joint 6th in 2019 survey) 5. Ayato Sakamaki (10 votes) (4th in 2019 survey) 6. Carla Tsukinami (9 votes) (no votes in 2019 survey) 7. Reiji Sakamaki (7 votes) (joint 6th in 2019 survey) 8. Shin Tsukinami (6 votes) (joint 6th in the 2019 survey) 8. Azusa Mukami (6 votes) (joint 10th in 2019 survey) 10. Shu Sakamaki (5 votes) (no votes in 2019 survey) 11. Kou Mukami (3 votes) (5th in 2019 survey) 11. Laito Sakamaki (3 votes) (9th in 2019 survey) 11. Yuma Mukami (3 votes) (joint 10th in 2019 survey) 14. Subaru Sakamaki (2 votes) (no votes in 2019 survey)

Note: I discounted one vote for Subaru on this question, as the participant had also voted for him as their favorite character so I assumed they misunderstood this question.

Every single year I’ve done this, Kanato has come first in this category by a massive margin and (while I will admit he’s my own least favorite) I am still no closer to understanding why he gets so many votes. If anyone does have any theories then do let me know.

Other than that, Kino’s placement certainly isn’t a surprise given his place in the 2019 survey and that he was the villain in all of the other characters LE routes, which I suspect has not endeared him to many. I do find it interesting that Ruki and Ayato (who did well in the popularity poll) were also in the top 5 for this question.

I also wasn’t expecting Shu, golden boy of the fandom, to actually rank higher than some of the other characters in this question and to only have one less vote than Shin (who is considerably less popular and did some fairly deplorable things in the other character’s DF routes).

Question 3. What is your favorite type of DL media?

1. The games 60 votes (1st in 2019 survey) 2. The drama CDs 46 votes (2nd in 2019 survey) 3. The character songs 9 votes (3rd in 2019 survey) 3. The merch (e.g. plushies, badges, straps etc) 9 votes (4th in 2019 survey) 5. The anime 8 votes (5th in 2019 survey) 5. The manga 6 votes (6th in 2019 survey)

I don’t really think there’s much to comment on with this one, the results are pretty similar to last year and given that the drama CDs and the games collectively provide most of the story content for DL, it’s not at all surprising that they’re the fan favorites.

Question 4. If you have played and/or read translations for the games, which is your favorite?

1. Dark Fate (39 votes) (1st in 2019 survey) 2. Haunted Dark Bridal (27 votes) (2nd in 2019 survey) 3. More Blood (13 votes) (3rd in 2019 survey) 4. Vandead Carnival (10 votes) (7th in 2019 survey) 5. Lost Eden 8 votes (5th in 2019 survey) 6. Chaos Lineage 8 votes (4th in 2019 survey) 7. Lunatic Parade 6 votes (6th in 2019 survey) Note: 20 people said they had not played the games or read translations of them.

DF, HDB and MB all remain as the top 3 games of franchise. I was a bit surprised to see VC jump up so much though, although I know some more translations for it have been posted recently, and a game being translated will always help to boost it’s popularity within the fandom.

Question 5. If you have listened to and/or read translations of the drama CDs, which set of CDs includes your favorite?

1. Bonus CDs (19 votes) (4th in 2019 survey) 2. Para-Selene (18 votes) (2nd in 2019 survey) 3. Bloody Bouquet (14 votes) (1st in 2019 survey) 4. Zero (13 votes) (joint 5th in 2019 survey) 5. The original do-s vampire CDs (11 votes) (3rd in 2019 survey) 6. More Blood do-s vampire (8 votes) (joint 5th in 2019 survey) 7. Verus II (7 votes) (joint 5th in 2019 survey) 8. More, More Blood (6 votes) (not an option in the 2019 survey) 9. Dark Fate (4 votes) (no votes in 2019 survey) 9. Born To Die (4 votes) (joint 9th in 2019 survey) 11. Verus I (3 votes) (joint 9th in 2019 survey) 12. Eternal Blood (2 votes) (no votes in 2019 survey) 13. Versus III (1 vote) (joint 8th in 2019 survey) 13. Versus IV (1 vote) (no votes in 2019 survey) 13. Chaos Lineage (1 vote) (joint 8th in 2019 survey) Note: the Lost Eden CDs (joint 8th in the 2019 survey) did not receive any votes and 26 people said they had not listened to or read translations of the drama CDs, 6 more than those who had not played or read translations of the games.

I was pretty surprised to see the Bloody Bouquet CDs bumped down to third place considering that they won far and away in the 2018 and 2019 surveys, especially with the Zero CDs coming so close behind them. Para-Selene (my own personal favorite set of drama CDs) is still a fan favorite, and while I know many people enjoy the bonus CDs, I certainly wasn’t expecting to see them take the top spot.

In terms of other things to note, I do find it interesting that the Eternal Blood CDs (which feature the Mukamis) are less popular than the Born To Die CDs (which feature the Tsukinamis and Kino), considering that in this survey, the Mukami brothers got more votes combined than the Tsukinamis + Kino, and I’m pretty sure all of the Eternal Blood CDs have been translated, while to my knowledge, no English translations exist for the BTD CDs (although you can find a summary of Shin’s on this blog), so I would have expected this to be the other way around.

Question 6. How long have you been interested in DL?

1. More than 4 years but less than 6 years (55 votes) 2. More than 2 years but less than 4 years (26 votes) 3. More than 6 years but less than 8 years (15 votes) 4. Up to six months (9 votes) 5. Over 8 years (7 votes) 6. More than 6 months but less than 1 year (6 votes) 7. Less than 1 month (2 votes) Note: 6 people said they couldn’t remember how long they’d been interested in DL for.

It seems the majority of us have been here for years (truly, there is no escaping diahell) but it was nice to see so many newcomers to the fandom take part this year, especially as we haven’t really had that much new content.

I mentioned this in the 2019 survey results post but I do wonder whether the release of the MB anime (a little over 5 years ago), may have some correlation with a large chunk of the fandom (or at least the portion that took part in this survey) being into the series for between 4-6 years.

Question 7. If you answered the survey I did last year, have any of your choices changed since then?

Note: Multiple options could be selected here.

My favorite character has changed: 21 votes

My least favorite diaboy has changed: 17 votes

My favorite DL game has changed: 9 votes

My favorite drama CD has changed: 18 votes

There were definitely more changes this year compared to last year (although given the much larger sample size, that’s to be expected), but it does seem most are fairly firm in their favorites.

Question 8. If you purchased one of the More, More Blood CDs, which version did you get?

Deluxe edition: 7 votes (5.22%)

Regular edition: 4 votes (2.99%)

Deluxe edition from Animate: 7 votes (5.22%)

Deluxe edition from Stellaworth: 2 votes (1.49%)

Deluxe edition of the same CD from Animate & Stellaworth: 3 votes (2.24%)

Multiple MMB CDs (some regular, some deluxe): 5 votes (3.73%)

Did not buy any of the MMB CDs: 106 votes (79.10%)

Note: 4 people skipped this question.

I mostly asked this question because I was curious as to how many people bought the deluxe edition versus the normal edition, especially as after listening to Shin’s (and from the comments I saw online) I feel like you really need the bonus CD you get with the deluxe edition to nicely wrap up the story.

I was sort of expecting most people to go for the deluxe edition, as I think if you’re ordering your favorite's CD, you’re going to want the maximum content with them possible, even if it does come with a bigger price tag.

As for why so many people went for the Animate bonus over the Stellaworth bonus, I imagine this was because Animate has an international online store (although I think whether you can actually get the bonus drama CDs from them is variable) while Stellaworth only ships in Japan, which means if you order from them, you have to use a proxy service which really hikes up the price.

Question 9. Out of the following things released within the last year, which has been your favorite?

1. 4-panel More, More Blood comics (28 votes) 1. Winter of Lovers merch (28 votes) 3. More, More Blood CDs (24 votes) 4. Masquerade Jewel merch (18 votes) 5. My Melody collaboration merch (15 votes) 6. Other (14 votes) 7. Merch from Rejet 2020 Fes (10 votes) Note: 1 person skipped this question.

I thought for sure the More, More Blood CDs would win this one but I seriously underestimated just how popular the More, More Blood comics and merch lines were. I suppose given that the bonus drama CDs came first in the Drama CD category and the MMB comics are much in the same vein (as in they both contain humorous content), it isn’t that much of a surprise, especially as the comics are posted online and are therefore much more accessible to international fans than the drama CDs.

As for the merch lines, Winter of Lovers is the most recently released set, so it may be possible that this is partially responsible for it’s popularity (i.e. it’s the merch line freshest in people’s minds).

Question 10. Which of the upcoming DL releases are you the most excited for?

1. Young Blood manga (64 votes) 2. Daylight CDs (25 votes) 3. Releases that have yet to be announced (20 votes) 4. Count Off (9th anniversary song) (7 votes) Note: 22 people went for the “Can’t choose/ Not excited for any of these” option.

The Young Blood manga won here by a massive margin, which is pretty interesting considering that the DL manga ranked lowest in question 3. That being said though I suspect this manga will be more popular than the others as it should give us more of the boys’ backstories.

I’ve seen several people hoping for the unannounced release (that we should find out more about April) to be a new game. Personally I’m not super convinced that’s going to be the case as new game announcements tend to be done at Otomate party (as was the case with CL in 2018), which is scheduled for July. However, I do admit that I think a new game would be a really good way to celebrate DL’s tenth anniversary (which is coming up December next year), so I don’t think it’s completely outside of the realms of possibility that we may get another game at some point.

Either way I guess we’ll just have to wait and see what happens in April.

And that’s it for the 2020 survey. Again, thanks to everyone who took part, I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on the results, was there anything that surprised you?

#long post #dl survey 2020 #dl survey results #Diabolik Lovers #own post #Shu Sakamaki #Reiji Sakamaki #Ayato Sakamaki #Laito Sakamaki #Kanato Sakamaki #Subaru Sakamaki #Kino #Ruki Mukami #Kou Mukami #Yuma Mukami #Azusa Mukami #Shin Tsukinami #Carla Tsukinami #I have tried to proofread this but it's such a long post so please forgive any mistakes

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