#cosmeres most pathetic man

[koravelliumavast]

Cosmeres most pathetic man results!

it was back and forth for Balat and Elhokar there at the end. But with one more vote, Elhokar is officially the cosmeres most pathetic man.

[lordgolden]

Zahel/Vashar is an underrated contender for most pathetic man in the cosmere he’s a grouchy widower divorcee(?) that’s gotta fit the bill

[boundingfeather]

it has been interesting actually reading Mistborn, because my first exposure to Straff Venture was as a leading contestant in "The cosmere's most pathetic man" poll

[mandrathekandra]

The Cosmere playthroughs I’ll probably hold off on until I finish my current ones! (Might spend some time in the character creator though…)

Anyways, here is the Chosen One himself, Mr. Gilear Faeth, one of the Throwup Boys, former Lunch Lad and assistant to the bad kids:

(Apologies for the lack of proper screenshots)

The character customization is a little limited but here is my best shot at recreating this sad and pathetic man. Might look for some mods to get better faces and such

There is no “just some guy” character class so I went with wild magic sorcerer with the lowest possible charisma—even if he tries to cast a spell it WILL backfire. BG3 forces you to use all the ability points so I couldn’t match his character sheet exactly.

The rules for his gameplay is that every combat choice must be to hide or run away. He must never level up. He must always choose the most awkward dialogue choice. This man has ended up de facto leader of this party against his best efforts. He is being carried by them. I think even his magic is against his will. A cruel god gave him powers and no way to use them. King. Maybe he was exposed to magic adventuring with the Bad Kids

I love him so much. Best character of all time

My friend is going to pop into the game now and then as Fig

I should make Kaladin the paladin in baldurs gate 3

And shallan. And vin. Who else

(Not Cosmere but I started a gilear faeth run and it’s so funny)

[kingjasnah]

Of COURSE Adolin beat Zellion in the poll! He's objectively better and hotter

are we in teen beat magazine rn.....my god. im like 90% sure there was a pseudo-twitter-wob that was like adolin is canonically the most attractive person in the cosmere it isnt ABOUT THAT. it's the final confirmation that zellion (our boy zellion) doesnt even have the raw pathetic charisma of reigen arataka like i am mourning my guy's sweep over here

[jedidragonwarriorqueen]

Oh oh oh do the stormlight archive (or the broader cosmere if you'd prefer)!

Ask and you shall recieve!! I'll keep it relatively simple and just do SA😉

blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): Adolin Kholin! Golden retriever fashionista horse girl sunshine man who's killed entire battalions.

scrunkly (my “baby”, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): I can't pick between Syl and Lift, here 🤣

scrimblo bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): Eshonai!! I miss herrrrrr

glup shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won’t shut up about it for a week): NIGHTBLOOD!! We stan soul-eating sentient swords that just wanna destroy evil❤ Also like every Bridge Four member tbh

poor little meow meow (“problematic”/unpopular/controversial/otherwise pathetic fave): Does Shallan count? Girl PLEASE go to therapy omg. Get help.

horse plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh Torol Sadeas? He's the subject of my favorite cosmemes lmaooooooo

eeby deeby (character I would send to superhell): Meridas Amaram. For obvious reasons.

from this fandom ask game!

[koravelliumavast]

Cosmeres most pathetic man round 3!

Super pathetic but got out: Hopefinder, Kindwinds, Sigzil, Sadeas (SO SAD HOW), Toh, Kelsier, Iadon (HOW???), Dedelin, Ruin (dude had one job and he couldn’t even do that right HOW), Mirthgiver, Truthcall, Yesteel, Weatherlove, Susebron, Lifeblesser, Stillmark. Round 2 Losers: Elend, Taravangian, Hoid, Washed up Dalinar (by 5 votes SAD), Lezian (by 3 votes EQUALLY SAD), Arsteel (by 4 votes. Not sad but funny), Lightsong, Denth

Super pathetic but are still in: Elhokar, Zane, Zellion, Straff Venture, Szeth, Hrathen, Roion, Balat.

[koravelliumavast]

Cosmeres most pathetic man finals!

[koravelliumavast]

guys you cant do this to me. mr pathetic deserves a win. or did we forget the fact that he was given his only friend (a talking sword) by a 4000 year old insane from torture teacher because he felt bad for him.

[koravelliumavast]

Cosmeres most pathetic man Round 4

Pathetic losers who got out: Round 1: Hopefinder, Kindwinds, Sigzil, Sadeas (SO SAD HOW), Toh, Kelsier, Iadon (HOW???), Dedelin, Ruin (dude had one job and he couldn’t even do that right HOW), Mirthgiver, Truthcall, Yesteel, Weatherlove, Susebron, Lifeblesser, Stillmark. Round 2 Losers: Elend, Taravangian, Hoid, Washed up Dalinar (by 5 votes SAD), Lezian (by 3 votes EQUALLY SAD), Arsteel (by 4 votes. Not sad but funny), Lightsong, Denth. Round 3 Losers: Zane, Straff Venture, Hrathen and Roion.

Pathetic losers who are still in: Elhokar, Zellion, Szeth and Balat.

Additionally: I included a who’s more pathetic father vs son challenge with Zane and Straff because they would’ve gone head to head if they both won their respective polls and I’m curious who you think is more pathetic.

[koravelliumavast]

Round two whos most pathetic?

Men who are still pathetic but somehow got out: Hopefinder, Kindwinds, Sigzil, Sadeas (SO SAD HOW), Toh, Kelsier, Iadon (HOW???), Dedelin, Ruin (dude had one job and he couldn’t even do that right HOW), Mirthgiver, Truthcall, Yesteel, Weatherlove, Susebron, Lifeblesser, Stillmark.

Men who are pathetic but are in: Elhokar, Elend, Taravangian, Zane, Zellion(#zellionsweep), Hoid, Straff Venture, Dalinar, Lezian, Szeth, Hrathen, Arsteel, Roion, Lightsong, Balat, Denth.

[koravelliumavast]

We have our pathetic men. But I will not make the bracket until I do my homework (yay me for having more important priorities and sticking with them)

1. Elhokar

2. Elend

3. Sadeas

4. Taravangian

5. Washed up Dalinar

6. Toh

7. Zane

8. Zellion

9. Lezian

10. Ruin

11. Szeth

12. Roion

13. Kelsier

14. Hoid (but in a fun way)

15. Sigzil

16. Iadon

17. Straff

18. Hrathen

19. Balat

20. Hopefinder

21. Arsteel

22. Kindwinds

23. Lifeblesser

24. Mirthgiver

25. Lightsong

26. Stillmark

27. Truthcall

28. Weatherlove

29. Susebron

30. Yesteel

31. Denth

32. Dedelin

[koravelliumavast]

I was wrong. Lezian and Szeth are both equally pathetic.

[koravelliumavast]

Ok screw it. Give me names of pathetic cosmere men. I’ll make a bracket.

[koravelliumavast]

yall are going to hate this next pathetic man round.

[koravelliumavast]

No Sadeas pathetic man sweep for he got out in round one.

😔