#corvus corax/reader

[druidwolf21]

Asks are open to all!

Story list

Just in case anyone wanted to peruse or anything

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First impressions

Introduction

Part 1- Guilliman

Part 2- Leman russ

Part 3- Sanguinius

Part 4- Lion El'jonson

Stress relief (18+ shorts)

Sanguinius

Sanguinius

Consumption

Mine

Bolter

Five more minutes

Leman russ

Homesickness

Returning

Corvus corax

Pretty thing

Roboute guilliman

Dreaming

Lullaby

Just friends

Magnus

Shipwreck

Shipwreck part 2

Angron

Soft touches

Jaghatai khan

Freedom

Rogal Dorn

Fort

Vulkan

Pushing buttons

Ulryk, space wolf oc

Wolf priest Ulryk/fem reader : interrogation

Braid

Traditions

Konrad Curze

Daughter of kurze

Mortarion

Jealosy

Cala-sister of silence

Part 1- ambush

OTHER

Lorgar/mortarion/reader: therapy

Jago sevatarion/reader

Drabble

[floralynn-arts]

ONWARDS, MY SOLDIERS!

HOLDING THE PRIMARCH + THEIR DAD IS COMPLETE!!

THANK YOU FOR THE PATIENCE, I HAD FUN!!

[thethronezone]

What do you think the Primarchs would want their wedding to be like?

This is assuming the Primarchs are marrying for love aka not an arranged marriage.

Mortarion - It's a small, very private ceremony held on his flagship. There's a few banners, the serfs have placed new candles, there's even a few flowers. Lowkey but it has a strange sort of earnestness behind it. Honestly though, Mortarion would rather just elope but for his beloved he will grin and bear with it. This is for them, after all. Maybe a dozen people invited, mostly to serve as witness as Mortarion says "I do" and his beloved does the same. Ditches the reception though and instead leaves with his spouse for their honeymoon.

Fulgrim - Since he's the kind of person to have planned his own wedding since he was like 8 years old, Fulgrim is very specific with how he wants it. He's a bit of a bridezilla, to be honest and will yell at at least a handful of people because they do something 'wrong'. It is a beautiful wedding though. A garden/paradise world, ice sculptures, delicacies from all over the galaxy, an orchestra playing both the classics and his and his beloved's personal favorites.

Angron - It barely counts as a wedding. Angron just kinda grabs his beloved and, in front of a bunch of his legion, states "From this day on, this is wife/husband/spouse. If anyone has a problem with it, speak now or stay silent." Of course, no one raises any objections, mostly because there's a look on Angron's face that promises a quick, gory death to anyone that does (it also helps that Kharn is glaring at everyone, urging them to shut the fuck up or else). Satisfied with the submission, Angron nods his head and dips with his, rather startled, wife/husband/spouse.

Magnus - Hope the guests likes the arcane cause that's the theme of this wedding. Magnus wants the wedding to be memorable and unique so he cooperates with his sons to create a magical display. Balls of light hovering in the ceiling, instruments that play themselves, magnificent fireworks etc.. Then there's the speeches. Because of course Magnus is going to have a lot to say during the wedding, both during the ceremony and the reception. He wants everyone to know how happy he is!

Perturabo - MEGA BRIDEZILLA. Don't get me wrong, it's an absolutely beautiful wedding with elegant decor and a scenic venue but dear god, Perturabo is acting like an absolute dictator as he tells everyone where to put things and where to go. Some poor serf is going to burst into tears when he starts yelling at them for using the wrong shade of white. He said eggshell white, not ivory! Alas, that is the prize of perfection. It's not overly pompous or so fancy that its distasteful, instead there's this subtle beauty to everything, the feeling that even the most minute details were considered and have a purpose.

Alpharius - There's no actual wedding day. Instead, the 'ceremony' takes place over a prolonged period of time, weeks and maybe even months. Small instances of sincerity, small tests of devotion. Their beloved is not told of the significance of these occasions or that they pass whatever test they are put through. All they know is that one day both Alpharius and Omegon start referring to them as their husband/wife/spouse and that's that. Congrats.

Lorgar - It's a very, very long wedding, with lots of speeches and ceremonials. Lorgar feels the intense need to thank god for giving him his beloved and make sure that their union is blessed. Seriously, he can't stop thanking god. There are tears in his eyes the entire time, he's so emotional. There's lots of hymns and songs, candles and incense everywhere. It's also a very traditional wedding though it still manages to feel very sincere and there's a genuine feeling of love.

Horus - Of COURSE the wedding takes place in the Imperial Palace, Horus would not have it anywhere else. And all his sons are there. And most of his brothers. Maybe even the Emperor. To Horus, the guest list is the most important part of the wedding (after actually getting married, of course). He finds it important for people to witness it, to partake and celebrate this union. Otherwise he's pretty happy to leave the rest of the wedding planning to his soon-to-be spouse.

Konrad - One word; elopement. Sorry not sorry but Konrad would rather rip off his own nails one by one and shove them up his nostrils than stand in front of a crowd and confess his feelings and vulnerabilities. It would probably end with a massacre, with his nerves geting the better of him. Instead Konrad wants a quite, private thing, just him and his beloved promising to be together forever. Some secluded location where no one can hear his whispers of devotion and promises of undying loyalty.

Sanguinius - Surprisingly hands off with the wedding planning? His sons practically beg him to leave it all to them and to just spend time with his fiancé. Besides, they know what he wants. Lots of light, a place with a high ceiling and great accoustics, a bunch of flowers (roses, duh!), live music and a wedding cake as tall as he is.

Corvus - Here comes the blushing bride! And by bride I mean Corvus. Mostly leaves the planning to his partner because he has no clue where to even start and is more focused on not getting cold feet and bailing. Does however request that it's a small wedding and that they only invite people that both of them know. Wants it to be intimate and happy, not some kind of pompous display.

Ferrus - A small, private ceremony with only a couple of his most trusted Iron Hands there to serve as witnesses. Oh, and Fulgrim of course. The ceremony proceeds quickly. A few vows and promises of loyalty, an exchange of rings and finally them writing their signatures on an Imperial document, making their marriage official. It's all over within the hour. Fulgrim is lowkey horrified by how simple and uneventful the whole event was but that's how Ferrus wanted it. He just wants to be married.

Rogal - He wants the wedding to take place either in the Imperial Palace or in one of his fortresses, partially because of safety reasons but also because of the symbolism. By getting wed here, he's proving to everyone that he's capable of sheltering and protecting his spouse. Very involved in the wedding planning and is, surprisingly, a bit of a bridezilla because he wants it a certain way and won't be dissuaded. There's a strict schedule to be followed and a dress code. And there will be cannons going off instead of wedding bells. Because cannons are more impressive.

Vulkan - Big wedding! Lots of guests! Vulkan wants everyone he knows to be there so it most likely ends up being an outdoor wedding. His sons are very involved in decorating the venue, making most of the decorations by hand. Vulkan himself makes the wedding ring. There's a live band but most of the music is going to be the guests singing wedding songs.

Lion - Super formal and traditional, more of a ceremony rather than a celebration. That doesn't mean that Lion is not happy and doesn't want to celebrate but that comes afterward, in private. To him, a wedding is more of a public spectacle meant to prove commitment. Still, he's got a reputation to uphold and so it is actually quite a beautiful wedding. Not cozy but elegant. Lots of banners and torches.

Leman - The wedding lasts for three days. First day is the exchange of vows and all that jazz but the rest of it? That's the wedding reception and it's straight up one big party. Lots of eating, drinking, dancing and telling stories. And so, so many toasts. It feels like every five minutes, some rando stands up from their seat, raises their cup and calls out a toast for the merry couple. And the longer the reception goes on, the drunker everyone gets and the toasts gets more and more, well, rowdy.

Jaghatai - Traditional Chogorian wedding, complete with all the customs, clothing and food. He's very proud of his culture and wants to share that with his spouse, invite them to take part in something he feels is very important. Of course, their own culture is also taken into account and implemented. Expect lots of guests, with White Scars, different tribes and family members. Magnus is definitely there.

Roboute - Very traditional, very formal yet honest and heartfelt too. Like, there are so many small little details that to most people, mean absolutely nothing but have some sort of meaning to Roboute and his beloved. So while it's a very formal event, he expresses his true feelings of love and devotion through these small details that only they notice. There's going to be lots of guests (even though Roboute would rather have a smaller wedding) but he's going to make sure that only those he actually likes gets seated close to the two of you.

[moociaoafterdark]

Lmao

Primarch simps of Tumblr, what is your verdict? (No hate to OP, just poking fun)

[nightscythe]

Hii can i request how the primarchs would react to making reader laugh for the first time???

Tyy<3

primarchs when you laugh because of them for the first time

i need to preface this by saying i'm not funny, so dont' expect the primarchs to be either. pre-heresy antics

your smitten primarch becomes even worse after you laugh ᴗ͈ˬᴗ͈

lion: minutes into him trying to explain the importance of grip when you had a sword in your hands, something you mostly had ignored in favour of biting the inside of your bottom lip and nodding along sweetly with the gentlest smile, he’d made the beginnings of an innuendo that you’d not caught onto immediately. keeping your hand firm, gentle motions, you’d rezoned in at that point to try and understand exactly what he was trying to say it. he'd rambled on, but there was something about his delivery, how he continued like it hadn’t even occurred, that made you laugh. a little snicker at first, then something more. he'd stopped, almost immediately, blinking wordlessly at you with the slightest frown. you’re laughing at me, he’d grumble, not amused by your laughter. well, not until you told him you were laughing because of him. you’d just caught the slight blush over his cheeks as he turned away from you and cleared his throat to continue. he’d reference it again later, hoping to get a similar reaction. 

fulgrim: he’d noticed you’d been quiet most of the evening, even with his attempts to wow you. call him lovesick, call him hopelessly in love with you; he’d do anything to see you smile. so when you’re sat beside him, watching him carefully as he explains a story to you in great detail, he catches you completely off guard by impersonating his sons’ voices with near-perfect accuracy. and when you respond with a giggle, leaning into him without really thinking about it, you make his entire year. his eyes shine brighter, his grin gets wider, and maybe his ego gets a bit bigger. you’re so cute when you laugh, he tells you, reaching for a loose piece of your hair, how do i make you laugh all the time, i wonder? of course he makes it his life’s mission to see you happy at all times, especially if he’s the direct cause of your laughter and happiness. 

perty: company was never best placed with him, unless it was you. he could sit beside you for hours, watch you out the corner of his eye as you got on with whatever you needed to and accompanied his silence so beautifully. but this night he’d been so focused on what he was doing that he’d forgotten you were near him, subjected to his mumbled complaints over how the wires in his hands were far too small for him to work with and they were misbehaving as usual. his personification had got to you – just a smile at first as he spoke, then a laugh under your breath as you tried to continue with your own project. his eyes snapped to you immediately, his heart thumping in his chest as the sound replayed over and over in his head. the stare doesn’t cease for some time as he brings himself to accept what he was feeling; that was the moment he fell in love with you. 

khan: you’d not been part of the conversation, but as you always did when you stood by his side, you were listening. some banter between him and his sons, it wasn’t even that funny, but he laughed, then continued laughing, and you’d tried to stifle the laugh at your lips so not to give yourself away from eavesdropping. but a slight sound, the littlest breath escaped your lips, and he’d turned directly to you. do that again, little one? his question is voiced as he steps towards you, taken back by your unexpected, shy gesture. he leans down to you and gently continues, so sweet, aren’t you? i think i need to hear that again. and of course, he doesn’t care if you were eavesdropping on any of his conversations, so long as he gets to hear that again. 

leman: he was never quiet, especially not around you. but when he’d noticed your despondence when he spoke, how you barely seemed to pay attention, he didn’t take it personally. he offered you a place to rest, curled up on his chest, eyes heavy as he stroked your hair and wondered just how he’d been so easily tamed by someone so… soft. never being one for complete silence, he started telling you stories like he was around a fire with his sons, something ridiculously exaggerated from the depths of fenris and his childhood. he doesn’t even know what he’d said that got you, but when he felt you laugh on his chest, the soft vibrations as you curled into him, his smile could only widen. he swears you do it on purpose, make him fall for you even harder every time you do something new in front of him…

dorn: he’d been contemplating humouring you for a few days now. there were opportunities he could have said something intentionally bad to gauge your reaction, but it seemed like a risk to him. especially when one involved how structurally sound your bedroom would be with him. but when you’re walking beside him, a gentle silence between you both, he stops beside a poorly placed slab of concrete, and he tests the waters without any warning. an uncalculated risk (really it was nothing but he’s overthinking). i suppose that one was placed by my brother. you stop to look at him, pause for a moment, then chuckle before walking on. it didn’t matter to him; he’s practically beaming as he catches up to you. shall i make you laugh more often? like he needed permission – but you may regret saying yes when the jokes just seem to be more sleep-deprived rambles. regardless, in his lowest moments, it’s your laugh that replays in his head. 

curze: sometimes his humour came always naturally, and he wouldn’t realise he was saying anything that might amuse you. so when he heard you laugh behind him as he read over reports that really didn’t matter to him, he stopped immediately, hand mid-page turn. he turns back to you with his brows pulled together, almost cracking when he sees the grin still on your face. he can’t even meet your eyes as he asks you, was that because… of me?  though there was a touch of hesitancy before you nod, because sometimes with him it’s a guessing game of whether that was a good or bad thing, he hums and returns to what he was doing. it was nice, do it more. you wouldn’t need to be asked twice. 

sanguinius: he lays beside you, his golden curls just brushing your cheeks from how close you are. he usually found a smile gracing his lips whenever he listened to you, completely simping enamoured by you. you’d been telling him a story, one that seemed to get more dramatic as you went on about something you’d seen years ago. it was one of those ‘you have to be there’ stories, but he still listened, fingers idly brushing against your hand, still infatuated as you reach the climax of your story and end up basically snorting at your own words. your hands immediately fly to your face, embarrassed. but he just laughs along with you, pulling your hands from your face so he can coax you to continue. why do you hide? he asks, warm laughter still in his voice. just makes me love you even more. 

ferrus: he’d been hammering away when he’d stopped to inspect his work, not noticing you approaching. as he turned the metal between his fingers, he hummed, grumbling something about fulgrim’s poor interpretation of metallurgy, words not really registering with him as he focused more on the sword. but when he heard you laugh, it caught him completely off guard. he doesn’t even look at you as his cheeks become hot and he tries to bury himself in his work one more time, mumbling under his breath, that wasn’t meant to be funny. and it wasn’t, but he was cute. especially when he tried to hide his enchantment from how you’d reacted, peeking back at you from the corner of his eyes. your smile just made him even shier. are you trying to kill him?

angron: it was the first time he’d noticed you, actually. really noticed you. his humour, typically dry and unfiltered, wasn’t for everyone, but when he frankly explains that the past hour with an admiral could have been spared with one simple punch, you can’t resist the huff of laughter, and he catches it immediately. especially the way you try to hide the following laugh behind a cough and a stare down at the ground. he returns to what he was doing but only pays half attention to the conversations that followed. he thinks about it for days actually, every time coming back to the look in your eyes and the carefree sound. the logical conclusion? he’s in love with you. oh no. he’d taken blows that could kill him before, but somehow this was even worse. 

rob: he’d huffed something as he sat down at his desk, just beginning to acknowledge everything else he had left to do that evening. it was about magnus, he thinks, that his powers would be beneficial to sign a few thousand documents without getting a papercut. when you found amusement in his words though, he looked up to you, watching as you tried to hide your face and recompose yourself in front of the primarch. his intrigue prevented him from looking away. awe, fascination – he’d felt it all in that moment. he wasn’t usually dramatic, but it felt like everything else around him faded, you were the only object of his affection – and always would be from that moment on. 

morty: your hand just touched his as you laughed softly, head falling backwards as the grin widened on your lips. he just watched you, frown a little more prevalent. i didn’t mean to make you laugh, he tells you, nonchalantly, as though it was meant to convince him more than you. he didn’t think he was that amusing, especially complaining about the taste of disappointment, but you’d somehow found entertainment in it. his mouth feels a little drier as he tries to explain himself away, it wasn’t… there was nothing to indicate a joke. i do taste disappointment. when you laugh a little more, he maybe finds some humour in his words and lets his demeanour fall just a little. 

magnus: he was always assured of everything he did, except when it came to you. he could have a whole audience bent over laughing and find pride in it, but when you burst out laughing from his comment on how his brothers are yet to understand what impulsive behaviour truly was, he was completely frozen. he’d not expected you to laugh, and he stutters over his own words as he stares, eyes wide. i didn’t mean… he pauses as he tightens his jaw to prevent his lip from trembling just a little, did i sound stupid? his heart thuds in his chest for a moment until you say no, a sigh of relief as he laughs a little himself. he’d never truly get over his underlying anxiety around you, even when you were married with kids – cause he wanted to be perfect for you always, of course.  

horus: he’d been trying to make you laugh with poor excuses for dad jokes all night. every time he delivered one perfectly, then the final one he wanted to try, why did the picture go to prison? you’d looked up at him through your lashes, not flinching despite his obvious grin. he was framed. he laughs at himself, and you barely break a smile. didn’t help he’d been at it all night. oh, come on, he says, nudging your shoulder as if it would somehow make it funny, you know i’m hilarious. and as if all the times you wanted to laugh that night but didn’t, secretly enjoying his pathetically good attempts at it, you look away and exhale into a snort. you’d think he’d conquered the galaxy with how happy he is afterwards. worth every shameful moment, he tells you, cheeks almost hurting from his grin, same time tomorrow?

lorgar: humour wasn’t his thing. but somehow, as he’d run his hands over your body reverently, caught every nook and imperfectly and blessed them nonetheless, you’d laughed. gentle, shy, a reflection of your love as he told you that he’d accept the punishment of heresy for you. he wasn’t sure if it was a nervous reaction to his truth, but it didn’t matter – it showed him another piece of you that he could love with everything he had. his chest ached, his throat burned. he watched you, held you so carefully you’d think that without him, everything would be broken. but when he whispers against your temple later that he’d tear down worlds to hear that sound again? best believe it’s not a lie.    

vulkan: he’d joked about actually being fireproof, a relatively harmless joke that wasn’t really that funny, but given how you were looking up at him with huge heart eyes, you would have laughed at anything he said. he watched curiously as you looked down to the ground, lip pulled between your lip as tried to stop the coy giggle behind it. he reaches for your chin, tilting your head back up towards him as he leans closer. don’t hide from me, he says, smile drawn onto his lips, i’d like to hear that more often. he hums as he presses a kiss to your cheek, that’s everything to me. 

corvus: you’d been watching him carefully when he almost rolled his eyes and asserted that if everyone else learned to shut up, he’d have all the messes in his life sorted quicker (and therefore could spend more time with you). you’d laughed softly, looking away from him as you turned the laugh into a hum. when you look back, his eyes are wide, and you can’t help but laugh again. what did i do? he asks, suspicious of your amusement despite the way his pulse was racing. when you ask him not to look at you like that, all soft and wary, it somehow draws the shyness back in. he starts to smile, not meaning to glance down at your lips, but you’re the prettiest thing i’ve ever seen. your cheeks burn as you avoid his gaze. cutest, too, he adds, shifting closer to you, don’t think i could ever look away. 

alpharius: his hand held onto yours like you’d slip away if he took even an ounce of attention away from you. i have a tracker for your happiness, he says, eyes bright as he admits a secret he probably should have kept to himself a little longer, you’re on a ten-day happiness streak. luckily you think it’s a joke, so he gets away with his real-time tracker being hidden another day, not that he was thinking about that after hearing your laugh. he can’t help the burn in his chest and the way his lips curl. i made you laugh? he’d have to start a tracker for that too. do it again. please? and he’s still holding your hand, not prepared to let go until you just do that one thing for him. please.

this was unnaturally soft for me... i've got to write yandere sanguinius now to balance it out. i hate the word snort. this is peak sunshine and rainbows in 40k type shit. why did i make ferrus soft and shy? who knows. he's cute.

[monalisahyperdrive]

Primarch names from least moanable to the most moanable - entirely subjective.

Factors taken into account:

Name length

How easy it is to say

General vibes ('imagine having sex with a guy and having to moan gilbert')

I wrote this instead of sleeping. I don't know either. This is getting posted and I will probably never address it again if I don't delete it during my break tomorrow. I should not be given internet access past 11pm.

Perturabo

It pained me to put him all the way down (up?) here at the least moanable as I fear he may actually be one of my favourites, however... I am not delusional enough to ignore that not only is this a pretty long name, a good amount of people struggle not only to say it but to even spell it. Not at all dyslexia friendly. I would give it a good go but I feel like in order to enjoy yourself you kind of have to accept you will be calling him 'Perty' or 'Bo' or whatever you prefer.

Sanguinius

Sanguinius fans please spare me but this is a long ass name at 3? 4? syllables. I don't even know what you could call him for short instead. However, I don't doubt that it's entirely possible, I just think it would take a while to stop stuttering through.

Mortarion

Another long name. Are you sensing a pattern yet? I am. More moanable due to having less vowels than Sanguinius and less harsher (?) consonants like in Perturabo. Pretty middle of the road, easy to pronounce, could probably be easier if you just start calling him 'Morty' instead.

Alpharius / Omegon

Alpharius is again another longer name that I feel like I would trip over for a good couple weeks. I am NOT shorting it to Alpha. I must maintain my dignity, whatever crumbs of it remain. Omegon is an easier name - likely due to it having less syllables (3 rather than 4). However, I feel like the only way to shorten it would be 'Meg' and that would make me laugh and I would get distracted. Remember how I said this is subjective? This is why.

Jaghatai

3 syllables, easy enough to say, not a lot of vowels or harsher consonants to trip over. Incredibly doable, and I'm sure many have tried it. Hell, I'd certainly take a good stab at it.

Angron

Harsh G right in the middle, otherwise no complaints really. 2 syllables. Straight forward. You could certainly give it a good go.

Rogal

2 syllables - easy right? Wrong. Evil G right there in the middle again. Probably would have been higher (lower?) on the list if it was softened with maybe an H right after. Alas, it is not so.

Corvus

2 incredibly easy syllables. The V is a little evil (harsh) but with a relatively short name and a soft starting consonant I'm sure it's manageable. Best bird boy. Not much else to say.

Fulgrim

Although apparently a good chunk of people have given it a go - or at least his wives have - we're back to the G dilemma. Personally I'd suggest calling him 'Fulgie' - like Fergie but worse.

Konrad

Quite possibly the most normal name on the whole list. Konrad. Everyone can say Konrad. An easy two syllables with the harshest letter right at the start. Easy peasy.

Roboute

I actually don't know if this is 2 syllables or 3. I even went and looked on Reddit. Some people are saying Ro-Bou-Te, I've been reading it Ro-Boot. Either way these are easy, with the harshest sound being the T of all things. Either way I don't think moaning for poor long suffering Robert is too tricky.

Vulkan

Deceptively soft V and K. What a pleasant surprise. Anyone could moan this easily, and he'd probably be delighted.

Lion

Objectively this is incredibly easy, which is why it made it so high (low?) on the scale. However, I would argue moaning 'Lion' in full sincerity is somewhat hilarious. That sure is the name of an incredibly powerful (and unfortunately incredibly sexy) man.

Magnus

Easy to moan. Probably wouldn't mind if you gave it a go. Again, one of the easier names. I'm sure he'd be happy to tutor you on the subject.

Lorgar

Flows nicely, 2 short syllables, incredibly straight forward. Started mentally calling him 'Lorgie', never recovered.

Ferrus

Incredibly straight forward name. Ferrus, pronounced the same as Ferrous, like the iron tablets. Something something you should do it, it's medicinal.

Leman

Not at the top due to the time it took to decide whether it was Lee-man or Le-man (like lemon). Personal gripe, but if you've gotten this far down without understanding that I don't know what to tell you. Quick, easy, sure why not.

Horus

As much as I wish to be deeply spiteful and shove him somewhere unremarkable in the middle, I just can't do it. This is an easy name. Don't worry, if you struggle at all I'm sure he'd be willing to let you keep trying until you figure it out. Bastard.

[heretical-cogitations]

Some Primarchs and what happens when they are rejected

Ft fulgrim, perturabo, horus and sanguinius

My brain tossed this at me randomly like 10 mins ago, so it's rushed, a lil yandere, a lil bit angsty, and probs ooc

Fulgrim

Genuinely things you are joking and when he realises you're not he leaves immediately. Then, he locks himself in his room for a week. In shock and disbelief, you must've been unwell and not felt up to saying yes , it's not him, you have to like him! He crashes out big time. You're the first person to say no to him, and once his sadness has passed, he resolves himself to make you see sense.

Perturabo

His anger flares in the moment and he says some pretty regrettable things (think nice guy well I never like you any you whore, I just wanted to give you a chance). Sees the look of pure digest on your face and realises he's completely fucked it now. Storms off straight to his room, and stress paints to avoid breaking things, muttering to himself the entire time about how he needs to fix this mess.

Horus

The dazzling smile that accompanied the confession twitches, and his face also starts twitching, which is honestly quite strange. He looks like he is trying to keep a straight face whilst eating something awfully sour. He is, in fact, going through the stages of grief in record speed and trying not to lose his composure. He was so confident you would say yes to him he had begun making preparations for you moving into his room. His mind is going a mile a minute, but the main thought is how can he get you to say yes what does hehave gp do and when can he start. You will be his, and he is willing to play the long game.

Sanguinius

gives you the saddest smile, but ultimately accepts it in the moment , asks that you don't see him any differently, and that things don't change between the two of you. A little bit of tension leaving his wings when you agree. He is beside himself. When he gets back to his chambers, he paces nonstop. His vision of the two of you together couldn't have been wrong, could it? He has pined for you for what has felt like a millenia, and the vision was the conformation he needed to act, so the reject made his world shattered. Now he is alone picking up the pieces, hoping that down the line, things will change, thinking if there is any way to experdite the growth of your affection for him .

Just going to slip in a lil bonus unserious corvus

Corvus turns off ur perception of him. You're not even sure if it happened. He is bawling, though.

[yanagikou]

Had some fun practicing new poses and a slightly different shading style. I hope I did Coco and his softer side justice.

And yes, the big black birb is his warp persona watching over him and his beloved 😌

Inspired by @thememestrider Corvus alphabet 🐼🐦‍⬛♥️

[moodymisty]

Would you be comfortable writing some courting headcanons for the primarchs?? Thank you!!

Author's note: Here you go, they're sort of random but I hope you enjoy them.

Warnings: Fem!Reader for some like Lion’el because of words like Legion Mother, A few very slightly lewd remarks

Fulgrim:

The primarch who out of all has most devoted himself to things like the arts is nothing short of overwhelming, when he first expressed his desire for you. Flowers, paintings, clothing, food, whatever it is you enjoy, all of it gets gifted to you with no small amount of theatrics. Though thankfully, Fulgrim knows when to turn it down a bit, and you can enjoy his company. Even then however he is still very intense, kisses on the hand, the lips, and gentle caresses abound as he woos you with his silver tongue. His legion is also one of the few who at the start know about Fulgrim's intentions, and actually takes it decently well. Far better than other legions, when finding out their Primarch is indulging in romance. You are the socialite, the shining star in a room and the talk of everyone there, and Fulgrim will have it no other way. But as much as he does all this, he finds it cute if you’re shy or nervous about it. Shyness isn’t in his dna, so he finds it very adorable. You often get purfumed, hand written letters when he is away. Fulgrim has quite the way with words, and many of them you’re glad the one who reads them are him and you.

Perturabo:

He might be a petulant manchild at times, but when the mood strikes him Perturabo can be a bit softer. It helps that you're one of the few people he trusts, now that the two of you are so close. Though it may often be more trouble than it's worth, with how often his mood changes. Perturabo can go from lavishing you with Olympian clothes to sulking in his workshop for hours if not days, leaving you to eventually wander down there and find him, and bring him out of his petulant sulk. A gentle hand on his own, asking if he can explain to you what he’s working on tends to help. Perturabo also becomes very possessive of you, not long after he starts courting you. If Dorn, Sanguinius or Lorgar so much as look at you the wrong way, he's more than ready for a fight. He has one person in his life who hasn’t wronged him, who actually respects him, and he isn’t losing that. Those softer moments with him as he speaks of his plans for amphitheaters and bathhouses while you lay in his arms are worth it, however.

Lion’el Jonson:

Lion'el is, complicated. Part of him wonders how he even got here, something as frivolous as romance was never a significant part of his mind. But here he is. He can’t complain, as he’s become so used to you now that often times, his nose wrinkles anytime he’s away and casts sight on an empty bed. He doesn’t say anything about it, however. Part of him laments he isn't able to give you rides on horseback, as he's far outgrown the horses he rode in his younger years. Though he can walk beside you, even if his men think it's demeaning of his position. Is painfully blunt about some things, and extremely obtuse about others. He wishes to marry you? Blunt. You get a military parade dedicated to showing the galaxy the Dark Angels new Legion Mother with no warning. He wishes for you to wear the colors of his legion and match him so when you arrive on Terra everyone knows who you are with? Vague and obtuse, he will grunt about every option until you choose the one he likes.

Rogal Dorn:

As with all parts of his life, he's extremely stoic and at first, you don't think anything's changed. He's the type that listens to the things you talk about, and silently gives them to you. For instance as a newcomer to Inwit it's incredibly cold, but your current dress just doesn't cut it for the harsh wind and un-acclimated body. You find a new one on your bed three days later made perfect and exactly how you like it, but Dorn says nothing about it. Those few late night moments alone when he brings you into his office, and you sit at his desk while he works are some of his favorite. Dorn gets to feel you safe in his arms, and while he’ll never say it out loud, he is overwhelmed in his love for you. Does not tell any of his fellow primarchs about you. The day they realize Dorn has a beloved is a stressful one, they’re all sneaking around trying to get information about you, and Dorn almost has to lock you in his quarters and shoo them all away. Is surprising talkative in written word. His letters or anything else tend to be very long, talking about the ins and outs of his legion, and their current progress. You’ve never heard him talk half that much in person, it’s sweet. Though once in a while those letters can get a bit salacious; And Dorn is nothing if not detailed.

Leman Russ:

This man's declaration that he wanted to court you was as brash and blunt as he is. You're pretty sure he was half way into sleeping with how drunk he was at the time, a massive hand on your shoulder as he smiles with a red face. Granted when he sobered up he was far more, romantic about it. By his standards. He still stunk of mjød, but at least he held your hand. From that moment on however Russ isn't a man shy of showing off, and wastes no opportunity to plop you in his lap and give you a kiss, pick you up off the ground, or say something far too inappropriate for the current locale. Whether it's day two or day two hundred, he finds keeping himself off of you too much trouble. He’s the type to make others turn away with how overt his affection is. Every one of his kisses and hugs feel like he’s treating it as the last one he’ll ever do. Loves when you comb and braid his hair. It takes awhile and he has no patience for it, but he enjoys when you do it.

Ferrus Manus:

As a recurring theme with all of these, Ferrus finds it a bit hard to show how he feels. While he has moments where he cracks a smile, often times he’s largely stoic. As such, he never really asked you to be with him, it was something that simply progressed overtime. He doesn’t invite you into his quarters and his bed if you aren’t his beloved, he assumes it wouldn’t take a genius to figure that out. Late night workshop time is a must. Ferrus can spend days in there with no issue, and oftentimes you have to come and climb into his lap if you want any time with him at all. He doesn’t mind as as long as you’re quiet; Though over time he’s begun to enjoy explaining his plans to you if you aren’t asleep. If you are asleep, sometimes he gets a bit emotional and talks or thinks to himself. He never thought he’d have someone like you when he lived on Medusa, he just needed to survive. Is actually somewhat hesitant when you first are together. Ferrus is well aware of his size (both out and in the bedroom, or any other local where he deems sex a daring and intriguing idea), and often tries to be quite gentle. It took a bit of coaxing to finally treat you like you weren’t made of glass. You get surprise gifts from Fulgrim at times. Some are sweet; Some are… They’re hidden until Ferrus returns from where ever he’s currently away to at the time and you can surprise him.

Horus:

The same as Fulgrim; Excessive and grandiose, but unlike Fulgrim, there's a tad more subtlety to it. But only a tad. Horus still is eager to show off the love of his life (and so much more that he’s kept just in his head shh), but he’s aware that sometimes you require a bit more subtlety. For a primarch, he’s quite the romantic. Though there’s only so much you can do when you have thousands of gene-sons waiting on orders and don’t exactly get why their primarch is holding your tiny hand and helping you walk down the thunderhawk’s ramp. You can do it yourself, they think. He can also be quite a bit grandiose in the theoretical sense. Horus seems to have your entire future together planned, and he’ll speak it to you during very late nights with stars in his eyes. To marry you, to bring you into his legion as the mother of his gene-sons, to give you your own child one day. He’s more than a bit overwhelming, but it helps he’s so charismatic.

Angron:

I... I hope you're patient. Angron isn’t one that is fond of things like romance. For multiple reasons. One being that it brings him pain because of the Nails, and the other being that in many ways, he doesn’t feel like he deserves it. He’s a slave, he’s a monster, he’s a man who failed his people, men like him don’t get to have someone like you. But you stay anyways despite the fear of him loosing control of the Nails, and eventually Angron supposes that there’s more annoying people to have around. He’s far more applicable to this in his early days. The Nails haven’t degraded his mental state yet, and his legion is still fresh faced and eager to prove their worth. If Angron accepts you, they will as well then. The downside is that many of the primarchs worry about Angron’s relationship and subsequent attachment to you, and the danger it brings. Some for your safety, but mostly for the fact that now that Angron is so deeply attached, if something were to happen to you it would well be within the possibility that Angron would completely loose control of the Nails, and become an unstoppable threat that would have to be put down. On the other hand, it seems that you can calm him down a bit, as much as the Nails will allow, something that not many are able to do. A double edged sword, your love is to him. Often times you have to restrain him during anything, strenuous. It’s for your own safety, though it seems like Angron doesn’t hate it either.

Roboute Guilliman:

The most traditional out of them all. He follows the 'rules' so strictly you have wonder if he's following some sort of manuscript. Your relationship progresses at a very methodical pace, which is a bit odd but you find it oddly sweet he puts so much thought into it. He does little more than hold your hand, kisses and anything heavier are strictly private; If it wasn't for the longing, puppy dog look in his eyes, no one would guess you two were anything more. He's not overt about it like Horus or Fulgrim, but you are still absolutely smothered in gifts. From jewelry to clothing to weird purfumes he's been gifted by high lords attempting to earn his favor through you (Guilliman has made it very obvious that he's not the type to be swayed by gifts but they hope you are and will put in a good word with your beloved), you quickly find yourself constantly or the receiving end of some sort of lavish gift. Roboute is very much in love, it's just hard for him to admit it. As you come to understand his own little love language is the day he's a very happy man. On a bonus note: It is very easy to get this man to completely melt for you. If it’s been a stressful time for him and he’s stressed, giving him a bit of a hand will make him a bit bashful, but overwhelmingly thankful.

Sanguinus:

As kind as he is beautiful, Sanguinius is one of the more heartfelt ones around. Romance abound, the angel and you are the textbook example of star crossed lovers the moment he proposes courtship to you. It almost makes some of the primarchs jealous at how incredibly perfect your love for each other is, like your feet don’t touch the ground He loves to pick you up and give you a hug or a kiss, wrapping you in his wings. He always says it's just so you feel safer, but he also likes the bit of privacy, hiding you from the worlds in his arms. You also enjoy playing with his wings when you’re in private, as they’re quite sensitive. A side note; He thinks it's cute that you use his fallen feathers as bookmarks and quills, and he now gifts you a few of his fallen primary feathers every now and again for you to use. You’ll know about the Red Thirst eventually when you’re with him. Sanguinius won’t ever ask for assistance, but if you were to offer a bit of blood? He’s incredibly careful, but the blood of his lover is nothing short of ambrosia and he will dutifully treat you afterward for sating his appetite.

Jaghatai Khan:

As one of the more reasonable primarchs, Jaghatai is a steal to have as your lover. He’s personable and kind, and funny to boot. He enjoys making you laugh, something his sons have picked up on. Sometimes they’ll tease you (or more likely unsuspecting commissars) when you’re in their company. If he's not able to hold your hand, he'll have a hand on your shoulder or back, always close to you whenever you're both together. He’s extremely dedicated to Chogoris, and it’s incredibly important to him that you adopt some of the culture he grew up in. You don’t have to, but it would make Jagahatai an extremely proud man if you attempted to understand Chogoran. He’s also private; His fellow primarchs don’t even know of your existence let alone close relation to him until you’re well into your romance, and Jaghatai has thoughts for no one else but you.

Konrad Curze:

Konrad’s romance is as toxic as he is. But at the same time, it’s like a drug you can’t get enough of. Because you’re fucking terrified of him, but the man is obsessed with you. Not many of the other primarchs understand the soul crushing, teeth grinding obsession Konrad has for you. He’s willing to fall to his knees and submit to you as long as you tell him you love him, and that he's worth more alive. But if you tell him you don’t?… You don’t want to tell him you don’t. Konrad is painful. He holds your hand too tight, kisses you too rough, bites you too hard. He doesn’t mean it, you don’t think at least some of the time, but he’s so caught in this obsession with someone trying to save him that his martyr complex melts away for a bit and he’s this self-loathing, sad excuse of a man. You almost pity him as much as you love him. Making him happy has become an arduous journey for you. Is the exact opposite of the others in wanting to show you off. You’re hidden for ages, until the primarchs realize Konrad has someone at his side. They worry, but they know separating him from you would cause more harm than good, and you keep Konrad’s emotions a bit more in check. And in the eyes of a few individuals, your safety serves as a good threat to keep Konrad and his unhinged legion on a leash and working towards a desired goal. A note; Konrad is surprisingly selfless in regard to more intimate matters. And he likes to bite. Your thighs don’t get much reprieve from him.

Vulkan:

Sweet as sugar, no one is as good at a proper declaration of love or desire to romance like Vulkan is. No matter how much it breaks his back he’ll always hold your hand, give you a kiss, or pick you up to bring you with him across the Flamewrought or the Terran palace. Besides perhaps Sanguinius and Lorgar, no one is as star-crossed in love with you as Vulkan is.

He’ll do anything for you, if you just ask. He often paraphrases that he would shield you from any threat, but sometimes you fear he’d do it literally. Less seriously he loves to gift you various things, your favorite being a necklace. You never thought he’d be able to work at such a small level, but Vulkan is nothing if not skilled. He got quite the reward the evening he gifted it to you.

Is one of the quicker ones to get serious. Talks of marrying you, writing you down in the history of his legion as their Legion Mother, Vulkan is quite eager to tie himself to you, and you to him.

Corvus Corax:

Corvus is private, and also quite slow to trust. Even slower to admit he likes someone, let alone enough to express that he’s in love with them. Many moments with him are often spent in his private quarters or somewhere else alone, where only you have eyes on him.

Is one of the few primarchs conscious of the fact that he isn’t really meant to exist, and that he’s forcing it by being with you. Your body often bruises and aches if he isn’t careful with you, and it secretly pains him that the one person he loves is so easy for him to hurt. Finding out about this feeling he has swiftly turns you into a mess of reassurances that quickly overwhelm poor Corvus, and while he still feels it at times, he appreciate you trying to soothe him.

Loves to write you letters. He feels like it means more to put the effort into handwriting, and when you send him one back, it’s like he can feel your touch on the paper. One time you left a lipstick kiss on the parchment and the man was insufferable that evening from how pent up he was, unbeknownst to you millions of miles away. You paid for that transgression dearly one he returned.

Lorgar Aurelian:

Lorgar is yet another primarch who is sweet as sugar. He also has quite the way with words, though unlike Horus and Fulgrim, it isn’t intentional. He’s just very passionate and verbose. Is also very touchy. Loves to pick you up and kiss you, show you off to others. He’s so stupidly in love and everyone around him is almost annoyed by it. He just loves his tiny little goddess so much, you bring him light he didn’t know he needed. Lorgar is also very affected by his religious trauma. His self flagellation both emotional and literal has always been an issue. You’ve had nights where you’ve put ice on his back after he whipped himself bloody, crying over his wounds. If it isn’t bad he encourages you to not weep over him, and if it’s worse he often times is beating himself up over worrying you. Being with him is stressful emotionally, to say the least. In another path, he often time beats himself up over the idea of corrupting you with sinful thoughts. Though that doesn’t really stop him, especially if he comes to his quarters one evening seeing you wearing all white draped across his bed. Lorgar will sin alright, but he does it while speaking prayers to save his own soul as he worships you. He’s one of the quickest Primarchs to want to marry you, to make you his own and to bring you closer and closer to his side.

Mortarion:

Mortarion isn’t an easy one to love. He doesn’t really consider the emotion valuable until one day he suddenly realizes that you mean something to him, more than just another baseline human does. Like Ferrus in that he never does the official courtship nonsense, and just upgrades your relationship in his head overtime. Someone who isn’t his lover doesn’t spend hours in the Pale King’s study watching him work, keeping one of his hands in their lap while he uses the other. Is a bit of a pushover in some ways, and takes his self loathing a bit too far sometimes. You’ve learned that sometimes he needs you to kiss him and tell him you love him more than anything else, to get him to stop sulking. Everyone is extremely surprised he found sometime. Let alone someone so personable. Fulgrim jokes that Mortarion should just send you instead of himself to Terra when the primarchs meet up to discuss things, as you’re easier to deal with. Mortarion hates when things like that are said, and he’ll hide you from the world obsessively for awhile after. He loves you, but sometimes for him love and possess get intertwined in his head when he thinks for you.

Magnus the Red:

Isn’t the worst beloved to have, but he has his quirks. He can be a bit stuffy at times, and often times forgets that relationships needs nurturing to grow. Magnus often times gets stuck in his own head and forgets everyone around him, including you. Loves to show off his warp magic to you, especially if you show literally any interest at all. He’s so used to everyone fearing it, fearing him, hating psykers no matter what, that any interest by you gives him hearts in his eyes. You’ll be up all night listening to him read you tomes. Which you don’t mind, it often helps you fall asleep. Since Magnus can change his size, he knows exactly how to make your squirm. You know you’re in for a wild ride when your beloved becomes bigger than Ferrus and starts taking off his armor.

AlphariusOmegon:

The twins are complicated. Given the primarchs consider you only Alpharius’ beloved, you spend more time with him than Omegon. As such, sometimes Omegon can get a bit possessive whenever you two are together. You don’t entirely blame Omegon for it; His other half is the one holding your hand and showing you off, joking about marrying you to his fellow primarchs. As such, those topics tend to be a minefield in your weird little relationship. They often use you to get information about the other Primarchs. It seems your smaller stature makes them almost seem like you're less of a threat, and get a bit more talkative around you than they are around whatever twin is currently frontfacing. You hate when they ask this of you, but you have no power to refuse them. As the twins are extremely meticulous and through, they've been careful to not show anyone how in love with you they really are. If they how just how much Alpharius loves you, it would be easy for you to be used against them. So affection is limited, and they put up an aura that you're not much more than an arm piece when in view of others. They eagerly make sure to show you this isn't the case in private, however.

[bleedingichorhearts]

“𝐈’𝐦 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐓𝐨𝐨 𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐅𝐨𝐫 𝐓𝐡𝐢𝐬…” {2/2}

𝕬𝖚𝖙𝖍𝖔𝖗: I believe the Big Blue has the worst abandonment issues. He was a single, loyal Primarch there for a second wasn’t he? Also, some of these Primarchs were kind of hard to appease.

𝕾𝖚𝖒𝖒𝖆𝖗𝖞: The “Primarchs” reacting to you saying “I’m too old for this.” Simple as that.

𝕿𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖉: @kit-williams, @egrets-not-regrets, @bispecsual, @gallifreyianrosearkytiorsusan, @sleepyfan-blog.

+@c-u-c-koo-4-40k.

TW // Slight Angst.

|°ᴛᴀɢ ʟɪꜱᴛ ᴀᴘᴘʟɪᴄᴀᴛɪᴏɴ°| |°ɪᴄʜᴏʀ’ꜱ ᴀᴏ3°| |°𝕄𝕒𝕤𝕥𝕖𝕣𝕃𝕚𝕤𝕥°| • {Part 1}

Angron; “The Red Angel:”

Angry boi, angry boi… is not angry at you for saying such. How can he be? Life can be like a slave to one’s soul. He understands you in a way, not of your words, but the possible meaning behind it. He might… ponder with you on it, on your simple words. His nails ticking at him, but it’s nothing compared to the thought of your impending fall. Perhaps he shall hold you closer? No… no.

Roboute Guilliman; “The Avenging Son:”

Pauses in his work to look up at you. Those tried, pretty blue eyes of his roaming of your figure in sudden deep thought. A thought he had never really considered much since— He hums, finally standing up from his work and coming over to sweep you off your feet and nuzzle into you; inhaling your scent. He doesn’t wish to be alone once more…

Mortarion; “Death Lord:”

Surprisingly scared of your words. Something akin to his 9th brother. He doesn’t wish to hear you say those words again. He gets goosebumps just thinking about it, and might have a secret depressive episode only you can cure. Tell him how much you are doing; how well you are doing, not the opposite, please? He doesn’t wish to loose so much…

Magnus The Red; “Crimson King:”

Would also hear your words through warp, your soul, and it’s only then does he truly realize your mortality. He knows you’re mortal, yes, but he just… he didn’t think it would be so soon to realize the extent. Don’t be too surprised if you see him trying to commune with the warp more than necessary to rid you of your mortal shell…

Horus Lupercal; “The Lupercal:”

This man. This man knows what to do, and do you know what he does? Pampers the shit out of you: would make you stay in bed, massage you, anything to make sure you won’t say those words again. Though, the thought haunts him, and may drive him a bit… “passionate.”

Lorgar Aurelian; “The Urizen:”

Would stare at you like you had two heads. You? Old? Nonsense! You speak of nonsense! He worships you nearly everyday: 24/7 how could you claim yourself “old?” Would he have to show you what beauty you hold? What creation and power you wield? Well… he wouldn’t mind showing you again and again until you’re the brightest, glowing star in the his galaxy.

Vulkan; “Lord of Drakes:”

Another that says “You? Old? Nonsense!” This giant of a drake stuffy will swiftly pick you up in his arms (maybe do a twirl) before giving you a gentle kiss. Letting you sit on his arms as he will carry you around within his arms the rest of the day. No, you are not leaving him, no matter how hard you whine. He doesn’t like the thought of something he cherishes very, very dearly leaving him so soon…

Corvus Corax; “The Raven Lord:”

Yet another that unfortunately stares, and is… unsure of your words. There is an ache in his chest, a certain well known pain… He isn’t oblivious of your mortality, but he’s not sure if he should acknowledge it either. You might find some of his little crows surrounding you more often, and that’s when he’ll acknowledge it, and perhaps his sons will too. Crows take care of each other after all.

Alpharius & Omegon; “The Last Primarch:”

Hits them harder than you think. They have… shared you within the legion. You cuddled them, no matter who it was. You entertained them, no matter what they did. They didn’t think too much on your mortality, but now they definitely are. Perhaps they can find something in their blackmail archives to ensure your life? They don’t like to loose many… like Omegon.

[floralynn-arts]

Starting a new art dedicated blog? With the babymarchs? Absolutely.

[thethronezone]

Silent treatment between Big E and High Consort lasting several decades...which Primarch is on which side?

Mortarion - On the High Consort's side, obviously. Encourages them to actually never speak to the Emperor again and just get divorced already.

Fulgrim - Ends up on the Emperor's side, purely because he thinks the silent treatment is very immature. Thinks they just need to talk it out already.

Angron - Technically on the Emperor's side but only because he thinks the whole 'silent treatment' is stupid and that they should just duke it out and then make up.

Magnus - Is on the Emperor's side because he thinks this silence solves nothing. Isn't it better to talk it out instead, like adults are supposed to?

Perturabo - High Consort, all the way. Does he think the silent treatment is petty? Yeah, but Perturabo is a petty bastard and so he approves the silent war of attrition that's going on.

Alpharius - Who's side is he really on? Both? None? No one is sure. One moment he's talking about forgiveness, the next he's praising the High Consort for their exemplary mental warfare.

Lorgar - On Big E's side but he's also begging the High Consort to forgive his poor father. Lorgar is on his knees, tears in his eyes, praying for his parents not to get divorced.

Horus - Of course he's on the Emperor's side, he's daddy's special little boy after all. Tries very hard to get the two of them to reconcile and plays the mediator.

Konrad - Definitely on the High Consort's side because the silent treatment makes sense to him. When he doesn't want to speak to his brothers, he ignores them too.

Sanguinius - Tries to be a neutral party but clearly aims to get his parents to reconcile. Maybe a tad partial to the High Consort's side but does his best to understand both sides.

Corvus - Of course he's on the High Consort's side. If the Emperor made them so upset that they've refused to speak to him for decades then he must have done something real bad.

Ferrus - Most likely on the Emperor's side. Finds the whole silent treatment an immense waste of time, especially considering how long it's been going on.

Rogal - Sides with the High Consort, though he does think the silent treatment should end because this is dragging on longer than it has to. Does, however, respect their tenacity.

Vulkan - On the High Consort's side but tries to get them to forgive the Emperor because he does believe the silent treatment has gone on for way to long.

Lion - Definitely on the Emperor's side. Finds the whole argument silly and thinks the silent treatment is very immature and a waste of time.

Leman - On the High Consort's side because if mom/dad is upset then fuck yeah, he's upset with them. Does however think this is getting a bit silly.

Jaghatai - Is on the High Consort's side. Does he want them to make up already? Yep. Does he tell them that? Yeah. But he ain't getting between those two when they are fighting.

Roboute - Tries to be a neutral party along with Sanguinius. Slightly partial to the Emperor's side of this argument but keeps silent about it and just wants them to get over it.

[ms--lobotomy]

Maybe you celebrate Easter. Maybe you celebrate Trans Day of Visibility. Maybe you celebrate both, or neither. I am here to make those holidays infinitely worse or better, depending on how you look at this post. Special thanks to @squishyowl for giving me the parameters to calculate their (hard) schmeat sizes.

Without further adieu, Primarch cock descriptions. and also kind of how they fugg

LION EL'JONSON- 11 inches, 27 cm. Untrimmed and uncut. He shows a godly amount of restraint to you. Behind closed doors, he's much softer than he lets on. As far as girth goes, he's in the middle of the road... for a Primarch. He may not be the most experienced of his brothers, but he's going to do a thorough job anyways.

???- Dick fell off.

FULGRIM- 10 inches, 25 cm. Long and slender. You may expect a piercing, but he does not want to mar his natural appearance (at least before the Heresy.) Shaves religiously. He likes when his partner can't move, when they squirm underneath him, though he'll have a hard time admitting this.

PERTURABO- 7 inches, 18 cm. The smallest cock on the list, but he more than makes up for it while he is using it. He's got a bit of girth to him, but he can still fit in your mouth. Somewhat. His hands engulf your head as he pushes you down on him. Once he's out, tell him how good he feels.

JAGHATAI KHAN- 13 inches, 33 cm. The fastest one out of the Primarchs as far as each thrust goes. It curves up when erect, not unlike a scimitar. Veiny, but not strikingly so. Even though he's exceptionally fast, he likes being ridden. Especially on his bike.

LEMAN RUSS- 14 inches, 35 cm. He's uncut and hairy down there, he's never shaved his bush. He's also girthy. But what's most remarkable about him is his knot. This makes it hard for him not to breed his partners, where applicable. He'll hold you down and lock himself in on you, holding you down on him with his massive hands.

ROGAL DORN- 10 inches, 25 cm. He's circumcised and he keeps a clean shave. He's girthy, but not unbearably so. He enjoys tying up his partner and watching them melt as he goes down on them. Ever stoic, his expression rarely changes as he plows through you. Also a fan of doing it in his office.

KONRAD CURZE- 9 inches, 23 cm. Veiny, almost paper white, and uncut. He's not a gentle lover, especially considering his size. Usually there will be blood involved, and usually it is yours. He doesn't normally just use his cock; if he can reach you, he'll be biting you. And if not, he'll draw blood anyways.

SANGUINIUS- 8 inches, 20 cm. Surprisingly girthy, with low-hanging balls. He's uncut, but his bush is usually trimmed. He doesn't just use his cock, he bites where he can and envelopes you in his wings. He's gentle... for the first five minutes. He'll leave the most marks out of any of the Primarchs, prompting you to cover up the day after.

FERRUS MANUS- 17 inches, 43 cm. Lord have mercy. He is the most well-endowed Primarch, with balls to match. He'll hold you down with his cool silver hands as he pushes himself in. He's gentle, far more than he lets on, but he is still a Primarch. He's become quite the aftercare giver.

???- Penis serious, Penis delirious. Penis in the woods, call that penis mysterious

ANGRON- 9 inches, 23 cm. The arena had not been kind, as he is scarred in several places around it. Fortunately, no blade has ever found its way there. He isn't gentle, not one bit, even if he is chained down. The Nails eat at his head, screaming for bloodshed. He thrusts faster in a vain attempt to block out the agony in his head.

ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- 8 inches, 20 cm, and girthy. Despite his size being closer to normal for a baseline human, it's harder to fit it in due to his circumference. With some lube and determination, though, you can make it work. He likes putting it in you and watching you try to keep your composure before you inevitably slip up.

MORTARION- 11 inches, 27 cm. It's long and gaunt on him, but it's still massive in your hand. He's one of the more sensitive Primarchs, but he'd prefer if that fact were kept under wraps. Gentle touch gets him going like nothing else. And once he gets going, you'll get to bear firsthand witness to the endurance he's known for.

MAGNUS THE RED- The bastard can change his dick size on a whim. He already knows what size would make you feel best, and he can open up more than one hole at once using the Warp. He doesn't even have to touch you to open you up, turning you into an incomprehensible mess in front of him.

HORUS LUPERCAL- 12 inches, 30 cm. The most striking thing about it is the Prince Albert that adorns it, a simple iron thing with a dull shine. Even if by some miracle you're on top, he'll always be the dominant partner, and if you have the ability you are most definitely bearing his children at some point.

LORGAR AURELIAN- 11 inches, 28 cm. You weren't expecting the second shortest Primarch to pack so much, were you? Golden tattoos come close to it, but he hadn't the will to cover himself there. You'll spend a lot of time with him; he'll use his tongue for hours on end before finally gratifying himself.

VULKAN- 10 inches, 26 cm. He's warm all over, and below the belt is no exception. In the cold reaches of space, he's a great comfort. Even if he's not the biggest of the Primarchs, he likes watching you struggle on him. He's girthy, and he likes to choke you with it too. Gives the best aftercare.

CORVUS CORAX- 11 inches, 27 cm. He's long, slender, and he keeps a close shave. He's a gentle lover when you're properly going at it and not hiding your risque behavior while in public. He'll hold your hands and whisper praises into your ear, even if he has to bend himself at an uncomfortable angle.

ALPHARIUS- 8 inches, 21 cm. He's hairless, circumcised, and his balls are almost unnaturally even. You've seen many an Alpha Legion cock, and they all look similar. He likes to finish in his partner, leaving no trace that he was there except for the slightly odd hobble you have the next day.

[nightscythe]

primarchs being overstimulated**

**sexually -- nsfw, 18+ below the cut. pre-heresy

you've broken a primarch. congratulations! enjoy your prize ˃ ᵕ ˂

lion: he’d not seen it coming – he’d not been going at it that long with you, but truthfully, so many things you did utterly enamoured him. his hands gripped your hips, his breath was all over your neck, but one last feeling of you clenching around him had been enough. his hips stuttered, he held his breath for just long enough for you to notice, his weight almost falling onto you. in one last ditched effort to maintain his control, keep his eyes focused on you, he’d rolled his hips forward, voice commanding behind you. i’m not finished with you yet, kitten. but the way you moaned his name in response, arched your back a little more and begged him without asking? he shakes at the feeling, even comes close to begging you, too. don’t… don’t fucking move. 

fulgrim: you’d smirked when he’d told… asked you, with a delicate hand placed on your shoulder, be good for me, won’t you my love? you always were so good for him, sat on your knees like he wanted, asked him for permission, nodded along to every one of his requests like the good little thing he wanted you to be. somehow you being good always ended up with him beneath you, in whatever form, begging you to let him come. it was always when his cock was in your mouth that he’d be at his worse, crying, whining, fisting the sheets beside him whilst trying to find the words to beg you with. so when he asks through tears after what seems like hours of your slow and controlled mouth all over him, please, i can’t… i can’t take more, you just laugh and tell him to wait a little longer – and he loves it. 

perty: you knew he could get worked up when he was completely drunk on sex with you. he’d begged, just once, a whispered please as his hands found you and held you in place as he truly writhed at the sensations he was feeling. you weren’t sure what had caused such a reaction, you’d barely been taking his cock a few minutes when it had happened. but now, you craved it, wanting to hear him choking on his own pleasure, his body shaking, his mind broken. you’d edged him over and over, feigning innocence, you needed to stop for a second, you needed to readjust, just to see if pushing him over the edge that way would have the same reaction. it never did; or you never had the stamina to fully test it. his overstimulation was sporadic, and nothing you’d ever be able to control, so the next time he whispered more, please, more you never would have expected it. 

khan: it had been too long for you to remember, and you’d truly given in to the feeling of him fucking you raw, twitching inside you as his pants filled the air and he fell down above you, his chest pressed to your back. mine, he’d growl, his fingers gripped your waist, or anywhere he could hold you, leaving the beginnings of purple marks beneath them. he’d fucked you deep before, he always did, but you could feel him so much further this time. mine, little one, he’d choke out, faster again, mine to ruin, mine to make come… mine. you’d see stars far more times than you could count as the arm which held him up began to shake, something close to a moan left his lips, and he forced himself through the feeling to reward you one more time. 

leman: it was a near impossible feat to try to overstimulate him, but you’d prepared. patience, time, and your never-ending love for someone who craved it so badly. you had never seen him like this. usually so controlled, usually calling you his perfect little pup as you drool from how he makes you feel. but when he looks to you, desperate eyes searching for something as he feels something new, his lips parted and hands reaching for anything which gave him stability, he moans like it was the first time he’d ever released. i’m… fuck… again… he barely gets his words out as you ride him through it. he may have struck his claim on you the moment you smiled so sweetly back at him. no one else could ever make him feel that way. 

dorn: you’d be lying to say you weren’t pleased with your work. he never broke his control, he never showed less command than he wanted to, yet here he laid – his cheeks flushed a bright pink, his body covered in sweat like you’d pushed him to the very limits, his breaths coming in small pants. every time he tried to speak his voice would crack, never giving you more than a few sounds at a time. it hadn’t even been that long, but shutting him down seemed to do something to him. allowing him to feel pleasure outside of the bounds he’d created, pressing a kiss to his lips and telling him it was okay to let go, it was enough to ensure he did. the only problem you hadn’t calculated for was him becoming addicted to the feeling of falling apart at your fingertips. 

curze: he’d committed himself to take care of you, to reward you with whatever pleasure you deserved as a kind gesture to thank you for what you did for him. he loved the way you looked when you were utterly spent yet coming from him one more time because he really wanted to reward you. so when he feels himself falling into that exact same position after what he considers not that long, with his hips jerking, his cock aching yet begging to feel more, he’s furious with himself. tries to push himself through the feeling, focus on you, but the way you feel when you’re around him is just too much. one whimper, then the feeling of your fingers in his hair, he can barely understand what’s going on around him. it never happens. he tries to tell you that, but in the moment, he just wants to feel your arms around him and hear your heartbeat. maybe he’ll go again, it hadn’t taken too long for him to feel that way. 

sanguinius: he was made to serve you, and he’d never let you go without what you both wanted or needed. but everyone has a breaking point, and sanguinius is no different – it just takes a while for him to feel it. just one more, he’d ask you, please love. when you’d agreed, let him pleasure you whilst getting himself off, you’d not imaged what it would end with. minutes after he came he’s still hard, whimpering each and every he’s reminded of your touch, the way you made him feel too. he cries, almost sobs at the way you purr his name and bring him back to you. he wanted more, yet knew he couldn’t take anymore – but if it pleased you, if he got to see you come one more time for him? he’d go through anything to see that, even if that meant breaking himself. 

ferrus: you’d seen him overstimulated before because it wasn’t hard to get him to that point, and what a sight it was. he’d wind himself up, rougher with each minute that passed as he cursed his own weakness for how susceptible he was to the feeling of you – no matter what you were doing to him. it felt like he was being pulled deeper, yet pushed over the edge, something he couldn’t explain or rationalise, which made it feel even worse. as he groaned from the sounds you were making, his teeth sink into the skin near your neck and he basically growls at you, you can’t break me. but you can, and you are, and you have many times before. he’d bury his cock into you like he’d never feel you again, silently whispering a flurry of words you’d never hear again. 

angron: anything with you is a sensation he would crave; love, hate, or sex. every time he comes for you, he always wants more, but he’s always right at the edge already. his hand wrapped around your throat, not to do anything more than rest there, hold you in place as his mouth finds your ear and his hips buckle and he presses you between him and the wall. now, come for me, he’d tell you, now, right now, want to feel you when i break. his aggression is hidden behind the moan that meets your skin, how his breath trembles each time he ruts into you. his mind short circuits the moment you listen to his command, and in that second, nothing matters other than you.  

rob: he’d prized himself on his own composure, and it was no different with you. like another of his brothers, it was your mouth which truly ended that composition. his fingers weaved into your hair as you take his cock in your throat so well, looking up through those pretty lashes to meet his eyes and moan around him. his breath stutters as he bites back his own moan. what are you doing to me, he’d muse, gripping your hair a little tighter. when he starts to feel too much, he’d pull you off his cock, making you wait for a moment before having you deepthroat him nice and slow until the sensation began to wear off. he’d not let you witness his true overstimulation, not until he’d come at least once. 

morty: you’d not known what to expect from him. always so controlled, measured, his dominance never falters around you. he’d tell himself to stop even if his body ached for more, begged him for just a little taste of something, someone, so sweet. so just before he comes again, again, unexpected yet chasing the high of feeling you all over him and so eager to please him, his hand slams down beside you and he ruts into you like he’s never had the pleasure of coming before. he tries to keep control, but it was slipping, his desperate fucking doing little to disguise the needy little sub he really is inside. he’d ride out his high again, minimal words offered to you, but somewhere amongst everything he says a thank you, then another, knowing he’d never find another like you. 

magnus: he's always wanted to please you, serve you silently in your pleasure and know that the way you squirm and writhe is because of him. he never knew that he could feel the same way - but if you took your time with him, he'd get there. could take days of build-up. if you got him truly lost in the way you took him, made him feel so loved and appreciated and truly fucked out, praised him like he truly was the brightest star in the whole universe? he'd shatter the presence of the warp around him. starts with a quiet beg, please my love, please. ends him stuttering parts of his words without any meaning. don't... can't... please... please... love..., his hands grasping at you, needing to hold something for his own sanity. he enjoys the unexpected feeling that overstimulation gives him, never truly wanting it to end. 

horus: he loved seeing you on top. nothing made his day brighter. except for maybe when you were straddling his soaked thighs, your hands reaching for his own that shook at your sides, consoling him as he told you it was too much, hurts, and not sure i can take more, sweetheart. even as he says that he’s reaching to slide his cock into you, ready to watch you ride him and really break him. because it never took too long for him, not as he gasped your name, threw his head back and let you take over. only thing that could make it even better was if you laid beside him afterwards and whispered sweetly how much you loved him and stroked him until he came again, but that was too much to ask for... right?

lorgar: he’d give you anything you wanted, really. so when you ask him what’s wrong, whether he can’t take one more round of you fisting his cock, maybe even fucking him, he shakes his head and practically begs you for it. he can barely breathe, he’s lasted for so long that you didn’t think he’d ever reach this point, and even as his fingers twitch and curl into something to stabilise him, he’s still trying to praise you. just a few words, movements, anything from you is enough to have him over the edge. every time you come, he thanks you. every time you make him come, another thank you. when he feels his body shake, when he’s completely broken, that’s what he considers worship – and it makes him cry the hardest. 

vulkan: you’d never anticipated being in this position, given what it would take to actually reach the point where he was overstimulated. but when he looks down at you, his chest heaving beneath him as his lips tremble, one feverish kiss pressed to your lips as he buries his head into your shoulder and fucks you through the feeling, you realise there’s only need buried behind his eyes. he speaks so softly through his own high, telling you again how much he loves you and, somewhere along the lines, that you’ll be the death of me when his hips stutter and a hiss leaves his lips, only to be followed by a low moan. he tells you i’ll take care of you, that it’s all okay beloved, but he won’t stop until you’re worse off than he is. 

corvus: he’d not realised how close he was to breaking. i’m not done with you, he’d barked as he held you right where he wanted you. his voice was shaking, his hands barely held the same strength as before, but he’d not allowed himself to stop. all this to give you, he’d mumble against your skin, sweat dripping down his chest as he stops to look at you, you’re going to take it all, aren’t you, little dove? he’d not realised that the only thing keeping him upright was your pleasure. he only sinks the tip in and he loses everything. a whimper leaves his lips as tears prick in the corners of his eyes, yet he forces himself to endure and fucks you through every second of his overstimulation. he can lay beside you afterwards – all he wants now is to see you come undone one more time for him.  

alpharius: he was always craving more than he needed, maybe more than he wanted. it wasn’t enough to come once, twice, even three times for you. it wasn’t even enough to see you come double that for him. he’d worn himself out, ruined himself to the thought of you because you were the only thing that mattered to him. hurts, angel. even if it did hurt, he buries his cock inside you once more. i need more, angel, i can’t stop. you… he’d stop for just a second to look at you. you’re everything. and every time he feels broken from how good you feel, he falls a little more in love with you, sinking his claws in just a little deeper so you’ll never leave. 

for @constanceisonline, thank you for the request ◡̈ intriguing to consider and think about, thank you for being so patient!

[monalisahyperdrive]

Primarchs and Christmas Classics - christmas songs and festive primarch/legion headcanons.

The final week of the winter semester has run me over so I'm blasting Christmas music to cope & inspire fuzzy warm feelings. This is once again entirely subjective and largely based on my (British, somewhat Catholic) own Christmas experiences. All good fun while I avoid working on these essays. I struggled with some of these so they might be a little off. ⇒ divider by @/cafekitsune

Alpharius & Omegon / Alpha Legion

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - The Jackson 5. The most confusing Christmas possible. Don't worry, Alpharius will be home for Christmas! Several dozen of him. You get the distinct feeling that the Alpharius who sat and laughed while playing charades earlier (you lost, badly) is actually not any of the Alphariuses sat at the table for Christmas dinner... but you just can't prove it. Is Omegon there? Of course he is. Which one is he? Good question.

Angron / World Eaters

Lonely This Christmas - Mud. Attempts a quiet peaceful Christmas, fails miserably every year. His sons love him very much, in their own way. He just sort of disappears into his home over the festive period. They come find him anyway. Small groups, well spaced out. They send one or two marines with gifts from a dozen or so every few hours. They don't get invited in, he greets them at the door, often gritting his teeth from the pain. He gets his rest, but he'll never be truly lonely on Christmas. Not anymore.

Corvus Corax / Raven Guard

Santa Claus Is Coming To Town - The Jackson 5. The Raven Guard just sort of... show up to Christmas. Was there even a knock at the door? Well, they're here now. You think. You were sure you just saw Corvus but you've lost him again. The whole thing is a relatively private affair, no real coming and going... as far as you can tell. The Raven Guard present seem to dissipate some time between late afternoon on Christmas Day and the morning of Boxing day. The presents are all freakishly accurate to what was wished for. Don't worry about it.

Ferrus Manus / Iron Hands

Christmas Time (Don't Let the Bells End) - The Darkness. (subject to change) Christmas with Ferrus and the Iron Hands is a rather rudimentary affair. 'For morale', they say. Admittance of actual celebration would be an admittance of weakness. Christmas dinner is served in a mess hall, and largely differentiates itself from the typical nutrient paste with... something that might be mashed potato and the slice of what seems to be the idea of turkey... if turkey was suspiciously nutrient dense and stiff. Presents are largely ignored, as are any decorations beyond the occasional string of lights. Time off is necessary in order to maintain efficiency. They're watching Die Hard for morale. Ferrus is watching along with them... for morale. Shut up.

Fulgrim / Emperor's Children

All I Want for Christmas Is You - Mariah Carey. Of course it's Mariah. The only way it wouldn't be Mariah is if it was Jingle Bell Rock, Mean Girls style. Yes, with the outfit. The Christmas decorations have gone up early and it all matches, right down to the last detail. Think those gorgeous monochrome Christmas trees you see on Pinterest. The table all set for Christmas dinner is both the most meticulously and yet effortlessly breathtaking you've ever seen. If anyone's got festive charger plates, it's the Third. There's singing, there's dancing. There's an elaborate charcuterie board for snacking on on Christmas Eve. Good luck going five minutes without your wine/champagne/juice glass refilling while you're not looking. Matching outfits for the Christmas cards but in an incredible chic way. Probably the classic matching pyjamas approach. Perfection is a must, and Christmas is no excuse.

Horus Lupercal / Luna Wolves & Sons of Horus

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! Let It Snow! - Dean Martin. Cue shit eating grin, singing along, grabbing Lady Lupercal and- oh is that mistletoe up there? He hadn't even noticed. Well since you're already there... might as well? 30k Luna Wolves Horus is leaning full tilt into the Hallmark movie Christmases. The Mournival are even here for Christmas dinner and look they brought presents - isn't that cute? Post Heresy Horus (copium) is still just as meticulous with Christmas but it's a little more... off the rails. Everything is perfect, come sit down for Christmas dinner! Don't worry, he'll do the talking. All of it.

Jaghatai Khan / White Scars

Driving Home for Christmas - Chris Rea. One of the biggest and warmest Christmases, up there with the Salamanders and the Space Wolves. Everyone - and I mean absolutely everyone - is home for Christmas. Don't know anyone's names? Doesn't matter. The driveway is absolutely packed. They're parked out front all down the street, too. The living room barely fits everybody. There's not even nearly enough space for everyone to sit. It's cozy.

Konrad Curze / Night Lords

Wonderful Christmastime - Paul McCartney. Vague lyrics, nonspecific, bang on. It sure is a wonderful Christmastime, just... not what you might be thinking of. Merry Christmas from Nostramo. Please don't call. Sevatar is there. Christmas dinner is... meat, for sure. The fact there's so many Night Lords in the same place not snapping at eachother like a pack of unruly dogs is actually pretty impressive. Don't ask what the wrapping paper is made of. The first rule of Night Lord Christmas...

Leman Russ / Space Wolves

Merry Xmas Everybody - Slade. Primarily inspired by my drunken male relatives stopping everything to sing along and start dancing around the living room. Of course a Space Wolves Christmas would be boozy, it's a celebration isn't it? Feasting and drinking and laughing is the name of the game. All the presents are surprisingly thoughtful. Leman awkwardly hovers in the back while some of the presents are opened and suspiciously vanishes off into the next room with some of the wrapping paper and reemerges with presents wrapped in what he'd scavenged. After that is totally the type to sit by the youngest on the couch and be overly eager to offer his knife for them to use to get into their presents easier. Asleep the second he gets back to the couch post Christmas dinner.

Lion El'Jonson / Dark Angels

Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) - Darlene Love. A man who frankly needs to sit down over the holidays but physically cannot do it. Christmas? Stupid meaningless holiday. You're staying over though right? People are coming for dinner though right? No he's not going to decorate the tree. He's going to stare at you doing it though, and then he'll complain when he has to get up to help you place the star on the top. Acts entirely unbothered by Dark Angels showing up. Would be pacing and staring out the window all day if they didn't.

Lorgar Aurelian / Word Bearers

Mary's Boy Child / Oh My Lord - Boney M. Yeah, you're going to church for the Christmas service. But so is everyone else! And I mean, everyone else. Midnight Mass, Carol service, the whole shebang. Lorgar, however, is absolutely overjoyed! He has several Nativity sets he brings out every year. There's an angel for the top of the tree. He delights in listening to the carollers that come to the door. Has the whole family over for the holiday. Yes, including Kor Phaeron. There's no avoiding it. Picks out a new special ornament each year. Decorating the tree is a family activity that takes hours due to all the reminiscing over all the different ornaments that have been collected over the years and the story that has to be retold after they get carefully unwrapped before they can be hung on the tree. It's sweet, it just takes a while to get done.

Magnus (the Red) / Thousand Sons

I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday - Wizzard. Ah, the bane of my existence at school around Christmastime growing up. The Christmas quiz. If you don't think the Thousand Sons are having the MOST intense Christmas Quiz fighting tooth and nail (intellectually) for those points every year, you may be kidding yourself. Everyone knows exactly who won the year before. And the year before. And the year before that. Need I go on? Magnus himself writes and reads the questions, and it's Magnus who decides whether an answer gets a point or not. Christmas boardgames include Trivial Pursuit, Scrabble, and so on. Scrabble gets heated. The dictionary gets brought out. And a second if the first isn't convincing enough. Every year it's declared to be banned from Christmas. Every year it gets brought out again.

Mortarion / Death Guard

Do They Know It's Christmas? - Band Aid Before Nurgle there is no way in hell Mortarion celebrated. After being taken under Grandfather's metaphorical wing? Oh absolutely. There is nothing Nurgle would delight in more than getting the whole family together. Eat, drink, and be merry! Don't... don't worry about the food, sweetness. Even Typhus has come for dinner, isn't that sweet? Poor tired Mortarion. Best keep him looked after. Not to worry, Grandfather has it all under control!

Perturabo / Iron Warriors

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas - Perry Como, The Fontane Sisters. It's a stupid holiday. What? Of course he's celebrating this year, are you mad? Didn't seem excited for the festive season? Oh he'll show you excited. The lawn, the house, everything is absolutely plastered in decorations. Is this enough Christmas lights? No. No it's not. Hang them on that tree, too. Absolutely has the light up sleigh and reindeer on the roof with the Santa decoration climbing the chimney. Absolute chefzilla in the kitchen cooking Christmas dinner. Best turkey you've ever eaten. Don't worry about the way he'd been fiddling with the oven for the last couple days. In fact, don't even step into the kitchen. He's going to feed his stupid sons who he hates. Spends the rest of the day sat on the couch doing a jigsaw on the coffee table. Don't talk to him, just let him have this.

Roboute Guilliman / Ultramarines

Christmas Wrapping - The Waitresses. Respectfully, I don't think Guilliman - especially 40k Guilliman - would have the energy or time to be particularly festive. Any time off would be spent napping in an armchair in the corner dad style. Do NOT let this man take on any of the Christmas dinner cooking stress, but let him cut the turkey so he can still feel important and valued. He deserves a nice sit down in front of the tv and a glass of Baileys. His sons will handle the rest, and they'll do a damn good job of it, too! Seasons Greetings from Macragge, here is your festive email with an attached picture of Guilliman asleep on the couch in his sweater.

Rogal Dorn / Imperial Fists

Baby It's Cold Outside - Idina Menzel, Michael Bublé. No seriously, baby, it's cold outside, this is Inwit. Dorn's house is the safest possible place to spend Christmas anyway, fortified beyond belief. The Fists show up for Christmas. Sort of. Mostly they come and stand around awkwardly. The most active things get is when Jenga gets brought back out its box - winning is of course a point of pride. Gift favourites are of course, various iterations of building blocks.

Sanguinius / Blood Angels

A Spaceman Came Travelling - Chris de Burgh. Slightly more niche but the one that makes me think of Sanguinius the most. Christmas with the Blood Angels isn't the warmest fuzziest thing around. There's a difference between being revered and truly beloved and Sanguinius knows it like the back of his hand. It's comfortable, it's quiet. Dante is there. The Blood Angels all show up bearing presents on Christmas day. They fawn over him. He speaks to each and every one of them with a smile on his face. Eventually the knocks stop coming and the doorbell stops ringing, and he can collapse onto the couch and relax. He spends the season with his nearest and dearest. He takes a walk after Christmas dinner. He gives up Christmas day to being humble, and he lets himself be selfish on Boxing Day, with several glasses of... something red and some truly terrible Christmas movies.

Vulkan / Salamanders

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year - Andy Williams. And he damn well means it! Christmas with the Salamanders is incredible. Got nowhere to go for the holidays? Now you do. Decorating starts the second December does. The actual event starts bright and early Christmas Eve morning. Vulkan truly comes alive during the holiday - so many loved ones around! Christmas Eve is all movies and food and board games and jokes and stories by the fire. People even sleep over into Boxing Day. He greets each and every one of the people who'd attended personally, waving them off at the door with a big grin on his face. All his sons have Christmas sweaters that match his own. Expect some incredible Christmas cards in the mail with a whole host of posing Salamanders on the front. Oh well since you're all here already... you might as well stay for the New Year? Outstaying your welcome? Don't be silly.

[staticymaticyyourlifeisatravesty]

So I used decided to measure all the Primarchs together in Height comparison with Lilith and an average human for ref

First batch? Tiny, adorable. Konrad is way smaller then I thought he was

Second batch, still towers over them, Sanguinius is taller then expected.

Last batch, she's fucking taller then Vulkan, and Ferrus is apparently the tallest if we ignore Magnus' shape shifting ass. If we count him, he's the tallest. We are also ignoring daemon forms. Because they are huge in the warp.