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hanafubukki · 1 year ago

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Gothel and Lilia Parallels/Tangled & Cassandra

I was talking to Mumble ( @/081314) and Amy ( @/the-knaves-world) and how Lilia has a lot of elements from Gothel (From Tangled)

Gothel

Lilia’s new title from the 3rd Anniversary update has been Seeker of Cradles. We know that Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel because she has the healing properties/ablility to reverse age from the flower.

Rapunzel is also the kidnapped princess and with the theories that Silver could be a descendant from the Knight of Dawn, that could make him royalty.

Then we come to the age aspect. Gothel kidnapped Rapunzel so she can use her to become young again. Who else do we know that is old and lacking magic? Lilia Vanrouge, who can’t use his magic and is dying.

On top of that, Lilia has been hiding many secrets especially from Silver. As can also be seen with Gothel and how she hid Rapunzel’s background from her.

If Silver has symbolisms from Rapunzel, then he might also have her abilities as well. The power to heal. In the movie, Rapunzel brought back Eugene with her tears...and who else do we know has been crying? Silver. Maybe it is his tears that heals Lilia? Maybe returns his magic? It would make sense and is in parallel with the live action Maleficent 2 Movie. Since it was Aurora’s tears that brought back Maleficent. If that is the case, that means that Lilia can then help bring down Malleus’ OB.

Most of the Flowers that Lilia has been associated with recently has had healing properties to them, so hoping (please) that means that one way or another Lilia will be healed (or have more time with his sons).

We know that Silver and Lilia lived far away from other villagers, but we don’t know why. Mumble and I assumed it could be because Silver has so many qualities of the Knight of Dawn. Time will only tell why that is so. Gothel kept Rapunzel away so she can keep the child to herself and use her powers.

Lilia, despite becoming weak in the sun, has been in many sun related events. The sun symbol is the main design in the kingdom of Corona. Not only that, but Gothel literally became dust out the window when she fell out of the tower. It was bright and sunny outside, despite the cold and dark inside the tower. Not saying that will happen to Lilia, but he is weak and dying is he not?

Bringing back the point that Eugene got stabbed and then healed by Rapunzel, who got hurt recently in Chapter 4? Protecting Silver no less? Do you see where I am going with this? It points that someway somehow Lilia might get healed and Silver might be the reason. (Love heals all, does it not?)

Back when I was really into Tangled, I read this post that talked about how Rapunzel was raised not to show emotions. We have seen how Fae have trouble expressing themselves, verbally and emotionally. We have seen how Lilia’s role in Malleus’ and Silver’s life has affected them so. Malleus having to act and always keep the image of a king. Then we have Silver, who expressed how he has trouble showing how he feels and how that troubles him (Silver Dorm SSR). That is until we get to book 7 and he breaks down in front of Malleus which ends up cascading to the whole OB event. All of this to say, Gothel raised Rapunzel not to show physical affection and when it was needed, Rapunzel would seek comfort from her and no one else. Just like how Silver can only seek comfort from those he is close with. (though, to be fair, those he is close with know him better than anyone else and we have seen how NRC reacts to how chivalrous Silver is)

Sun Drop/Moon Drop Symbolisms & Cassandra

Elements from the animated series can be seen as well.

We know that Silver and Malleus have traits that are the same and yet opposites as well,

Silver gives off light vibes. He always had his animal friends even when Lilia was away. Malleus gives off dark vibes. He has always been alone despite being surrounded by people. Silver has lived in a cottage out in the forrest with plenty of sun while Malleus (if we go by animated movie vibes and aesthetics and what we have learned from him) probably lived in a dark atmosphere at the castle, only escaping to visit the others.

There's also the fact that Lilia, Malleus, and Sebek are a type of Dark Fae. Silver is not Fae and could be a descendent of Knight of Dawn. You know dawn, which is the light before the sun rises.

The Sun drop has healing properties. Silver has symbolisms in pastels (which is of course in correlation with Sleeping beauty as well).

The Moon drop is destructive, causes death, decay, ruin, and destruction. It can also drain the life force and vital essence from living things, such as plants and people. Which we know is what's happening with Malleus’ magic as it expands and destroys the nature around him. How people can die if they don't get rescued from this dream world soon.

The moon drop can summon black rock spines...which in instances can look like thorns. The Moon drop can also keep track of the sun drop, as it always knows its location.

Gothel played a role in the animated series as well. She neglected her daughter, Cassandra, and then abandoned her once she kidnapped Ranunzel. To condense what happened in the series, theres misunderstandings which eventually leads to Rapunzel and Cassandra butting heads. In short, Malleus and Silver are currently butting heads.

Cassandra and Silver has parallels too. Lilia often went traveling leaving Silver behind. (We don’t know to what degree the Zigvolts took care of him nor how often Malleus visited). Silver had to fend for himself and do chores in the cottage. Cassandra would often get left behind while Gothel would got about doing her own business, leaving Cass to fend for herself.

Cassandra repressed her memories of Gothel and grew to be a mature, intelligent, and skilled fighter. She had the dream to become a Royal Guard just like her adopted father. Who else do we know that shares those same ambitions? Silver who’s adopted father is the General of the Royal Family.

Cassandra is loyal to the King and Queen but was willing to break rules and lose her job to make Rapunzel happy. Silver is willing to to go against Malleus so Lilia can do what he wished despite his actions hurting all three of them. Silver is also willing to go against his King to stop him knowing that it is wrong and Malleus is not in his right mind and knowing that Malleus is suffering while OB.

Reuniting the two stones are said to bring ultimate power, but what if in this case, Humans and Faes getting along brings peace? (Its not like we can yeet Silver and Malleus to space lol)

Alternatively, we have seen how Malleus has used his powers to fix the stage in Book 5. We have seen how Malleus healed Vil. Maybe, once Silver helps brings Malleus back, both Malleus and Silver can heal Lilia. The ultimate power is the love they share for Lilia, the sun and moon, which ultimately heals. Like how Cass died, but Rapunzel used the two stones to bring her back. (Malleus magic does deal with nature and we have seen how connected to nature and magic the Fae are and Silver has always also had a connection to animals/nature).

Fun Fact: Hikaru Midorikawa was one of the singers in “I see the Light”... I bet Lilia is seeing the light alright--okay, okay, I’ll stop 😂( I know a few people who are going to give me looks for that lolol)

(Disney really out here saying we should focus on the movies and the animated shows 😂, I did not expect to delve into Cassandra as much as I did but it all makes so much sense).

#twst theory #twst theories #lilia vanrouge #twst lilia vanrouge #twst silver #twisted wonderland silver #malleus draconia #twst malleus draconia #diasomnia #twst book 7 #twisted wonderland book 7 #ruler of the abyss

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fortjester · 1 year ago

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Gideon the Ninth Eye Colour/Descriptor Guide (Updated)

(Key: CH stands for Chapter; pg. stands for page; EP stands for Epilogue)

(Harrow the Ninth Guide) (Nona the Ninth Guide)

For more immediate, in-depth reference, the quotes themselves have been transcribed below the cut.

All quoted page numbers are per the paperback copy of the book. Quotes are (mostly) in order of frequency, but some characters are grouped together because I don't want to separate them.

Harrow (24 Entries):

Cytherea (18 Entries):

Ianthe (17 Entries):

(+ BABS) “Because they were in closest proximity, her first gaze after the fight fell on the overgroomed cavalier of the Third, Naberius: his eyes were taut, and his smile was unnerved. His eyes were blue, but this close she could see that they were stained through in places with a light, insipid brown that made Gideon think of oily water.” - Chapter 11, pg. 116 (paperback)

Palamedes (11 Entries):

Jeannemary & Isaac (8 Entries):

Corona (6 Entries):

Gideon (6 Entries):

Camilla (4 Entries):

Colum (4 Entries):

Teacher (4 Entries):

God/John (3 Entries)

“He approached her, and she saw that his sclera were black as space. The irises were dark and leadenly iridescent—a deep rainbow oil slick, ringed with white. The pupils were as glossy black as the sclera.” - Epilogue, pg. 440

“Harrowhark picked herself up off the floor and looked her Emperor dead in his dark and shining eyes.” - Epilogue, pg. 441

“He had a ridiculously ordinary face: long jaw, high forehead, hair a dull and leaden brown. But those eyes.” - Epilogue, pg. 443

Protesliaus (2 Entries):

“Protesilaus the Seventh stared at her with the empty eyes of someone who would watch with equal heavy disinterest if part of the wall were kicked out and she were punted down into the sea, but his adept was looking at her—wistfully.” - Chapter 10, pg. 108

“She had been gravely meeting Protesilaus’s murky stare, as though trying to find something out, and now she settled the head on her lap.” - Chapter 30, pg. 338

Characters With Only 1 Entry Each:

(CRUX) “Crux stared back at her with the hate of an exploding star: the empty hate of pressure pulled inward, a deforming, light-devouring resentment.” - Chapter 2, pg. 31

(ORTUS) “But Ortus said, with his big, sombre eyes and his squashed, disheartened voice: “I do fear death, my Lady Harrowhark.”” - Chapter 3, pg. 41

(MAGNUS) “Up close he had a strong jaw, the expression of the terminally jolly, and nice eyes.” - Chapter 9, pg. 93

(ABIGAIL) “Unlike Magnus, she also had the manner some necromancers and librarians developed when they had been working on dead spells for the last fifteen years and no longer worried too much about the living: her stare was far too intense.” - Chapter 15, pg. 169 & 170

(JUDITH) “The Captain of the Second rose too. Her intensely dark eyes settled on each of them in turn before ending on Teacher.” - Chapter 18, pg. 197

(SILAS) “Silas did not step away, but he turned his head a little from her, as though she were a bad breath. He had very brown eyes, startlingly framed by thick, whitish lashes.” - Chapter 26, pg. 298

#tlt #the locked tomb #fuck off lou #my post #gideon the ninth #gtn #reference #resource #tlt data collection #data collection is my passion #ianthe tridentarius #harrowhark nonagesimus #cytherea the first #palamedes sextus #coronabeth tridentarius #gideon nav #camilla hect #colum asht #john gaius

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covid-safer-hotties · 4 months ago

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University of Houston Researchers Create New Treatment and Vaccine for Flu and Various Coronaviruses - Published Aug 6, 2024

Team Develops Two Nasal Sprays – An Immune Activator and a New Vaccine – To Prevent Virus Transmission

HOUSTON, Aug. 6 — A team of researchers, led by the University of Houston, has discovered two new ways of preventing and treating respiratory viruses. In back-to-back papers in Nature Communications, the team — from the lab of Navin Varadarajan, M.D. Anderson Professor of William A. Brookshire Chemical and Biomolecular Engineering - reports the development and validation of NanoSTING, a nasal spray, as a broad-spectrum immune activator for controlling infection against multiple respiratory viruses; and the development of NanoSTING-SN, a pan-coronavirus nasal vaccine, that can protect against infection and disease by all members of the coronavirus family.

NanoSTING Therapeutic’s Highlights -NanoSTING, a nasal spray, can prevent multiple respiratory viruses by activating the immune system and preventing infection from viruses. It can also protect against SARS-CoV-2 reinfection.

-A single intranasal dose of the NanoSTING has proven effective against strains of SARS-CoV-2 and the flu virus.

-NanoSTING is complementary to vaccines and enables cells to be in a heightened state of alert to prevent attack from respiratory viruses.

NanoSTING-NS Pan-coronavirus Vaccine’s Highlights -UH researchers have developed NanoSTING-SN, a nasal vaccine that prevents transmission to the unvaccinated and fights multiple COVID variants.

-NanoSTING-SN provides the exciting potential towards a universal coronavirus vaccine and may end the cycle of onward transmission and viral evolution in immunocompromised people.

-Intramuscular vaccines prevent disease but are less efficient in preventing infections. NanoSTING-SN can provide improved protection against transmission for COVID variants and related sarbecoviruses.

NanoSTING -NanoSTING is a special formula that uses tiny fat droplets to deliver an immune-boosting ingredient called cGAMP. This formula helps the body's cells stay on high alert to prevent attack from respiratory viruses.

“Using multiple models, the team demonstrated that a single treatment with NanoSTING not only protects against pathogenic strains of SARS-CoV-2 but also prevents transmission of highly transmissible variants like the Omicron variants,” reports Varadarajan. “Delivery of NanoSTING to the nose ensures that the immune system is activated in the nasal compartment and this in turn prevents infection from viruses.”

As the recent COVID19 pandemic illustrated, the development of off-the-shelf treatments that counteract respiratory viruses is a largely unsolved problem with a huge impact on human lives.

“Our results showed that intranasal delivery of NanoSTING, is capable of eliciting beneficial type I and type III interferon responses that are associated with immune protection and antiviral benefit,” reports first author and postdoctoral associate, Ankita Leekha.

The authors further show that NanoSTING can protect against both Tamiflu sensitive and resistant strains of influenza, underscoring its potential as a broad-spectrum therapeutic.

“The ability to activate the innate immune system presents an attractive route to armoring humans against multiple respiratory viruses, viral variants and also minimizing transmission to vulnerable people,” said Leekha. “The advantage of NanoSTING is that only one dose is required unlike the antivirals like Tamiflu that require 10 doses.”

The mechanism of action of NanoSTING is complementary to vaccines, monoclonal antibodies and antivirals, the authors noted.

Nano STING-SN Despite the successful implementation of multiple vaccines against SARS-CoV-2, these vaccines need constant updates due to viral evolution, plus the current generation of vaccines only offers limited protection against transmission of SARS-CoV-2.

Enter NanoSTING-SN, a multi-antigen, intranasal vaccine, that eliminates virus replication in both the lungs and the nostrils and has the ability to protect against multiple coronaviruses and variants.

“Using multiple preclinical models, the team demonstrated that the vaccine candidate protects the primary host from disease when challenged with highly pathogenic variants. Significantly, the vaccine also prevents transmission of highly transmissible variants like the Omicron variants to vaccine-naïve hosts,” reports Varadarajan.

The authors further show that the nasal vaccine was 100% effective at preventing transmission of the Omicron VOCs to unvaccinated hosts.

“The ability to protect against multiple coronaviruses and variants provides the exciting potential towards a universal coronavirus vaccine,” said Leekha. “The ability to prevent infections and transmission might finally end this cycle of onward transmission and viral evolution in immunocompromised people.”

The research was conducted by a collaborative team at UH including Xinli Liu, College of Pharmacy and Vallabh E. Das, College of Optometry along with Brett L. Hurst of Utah State University and consultation from AuraVax Therapeutics, a spinoff from Varadarajan’s Single Cell Lab at UH, which is developing NanoSTING.

Funding for the studies was provided by NIH (R01GM143243), Owens Foundation, and AuraVax Therapeutics.

Study linked at either link!

#covid #mask up #pandemic #covid 19 #wear a mask #coronavirus #sars cov 2 #still coviding #public health #wear a respirator #covid vax #covid vaccine

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twotangledsisters · 11 months ago

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Can we get an updated list of your current projects?

I know you've said you're prioritising the Sisters AU so I know they aren't coming out soon, but I always enjoy hearing what you're up to!

I also wanted to know if you are still working on the one where Captain raised Eugene and Lance?

Sure!

Apologies for taking so long, I was determined to find my last WIP post so as to not re-list everything but... didn't find it so we're going in with a new list! XD

But first, the fic with Captain raising Eugene and Lance is tilted 'A Chance to Raise Them', I'll throw it first onto the list and yes, it is still in the making, it's my go to for writing when I feel under the weather, last chapter I wrote Cass had a new sworn enemy, Eugene got waaay too many sprinkles on his hot chocolate and Arianna started a tickle fight that Cass lost! :D

Onto the list (in no particular order):

Chance to Raise Them

Two girls are recovered from a tower. Arianna and Frederic get their daughter back only three years after her kidnapping but she comes with a seven-year-old big sister.

A few years later Cassandra takes down a couple of thieves going by Flynn and Lance. At first Captain keeps them close in hope of teaching them a lesson, but when they thank him for the structure and security he supplies, he doesn't have it in him to send them back to the orphanage.

A Badly Aimed Arrow (Title Pending Change)

Eugene and Cassandra head into town to buy Rapunzel some paints, bickering as they do. Then suddenly Cassandra shoves Eugene to the ground, at first he thinks she's taking the bickering to a new level, until he sees the blood.

Mirror, Mirror, What You Took From Me

Cassandra was heading to the dining hall of the House of Yesterday's Tomorrow to get a snack when arms reached out of the mirror and tried to snatch her, she thinks fast and smashes the glass.

She knew this place was a terrible idea! Thankfully she handled the danger. That is... Until they realise Eugene was the first taken by the mirror and he now has no way out.

The Backup (Title possibly Pending Change)

Gothel always knew it was only a matter of time until she misstepped and lost. Because of that she had a child, a child of her blood and flesh whom she enchanted so that if ever Gothel did die, she had a way back into the world of the living.

An alternate S3 with Cass fighting for control over her own body and the gang fighting to get their friend back.

Market Day

The guards were searching for an old lady. They'd of never picked Gothel out of a crowd. But you know who would?

"Mama!" Cassandra pointed and reached out for the curly haired woman during a visit to the market.

Anagapesis

Falling out of love; the feeling of not loving someone or something once loved.

Stalyan was beautiful and smart, and everything Eugene thought he desired. So why was writing some simple wedding vows such an impossible task?

Two Thief Sisters (Title Pending Change)

Cassandra is kidnapped from the cottage cause it’s a nice cottage, she’s a cute child. There’s money to be earned via ransom.

Gothel never shows up, though.

Thankfully for Cassandra, Stalyan finds this super-obedient little kid fun to keep around.

Father Tromus (Title Pending Change)

Gothel fails at kidnapping Rapunzel and dies, Tromus swoops in to take Cassandra and raise her. Teacher her magic and raises her to one day seek out vengeance for her Mother.

Partners in Crime

Neither Eugene nor Rapunzel ever realise she's the lost princess, so after Gothel's death they flee Corona to be partners in crime together. Captain loses his job after Flynn Rider's prison escape, leading Cassandra to want vengeance on her dad's behalf.

She didn't expect to find her thief alongside the missing princess.

Islands Together

Owl never went to get Rapunzel and Rapunzel never talked any sense into Captain.

Captain came home with a little four-year-old Cassandra and people in Corona just kinda let it happen, not knowing what else to do. All seems fine until Cassandra finds out.

Royalty Can't Date a Thief

Frederic doesn’t allow Rapunzel and Eugene to date because royalty can’t date an ex-thief. So Eugene gets a job as her bodyguard and they date in secret.

Queen for an Eternity

What if Arianna and Frederic didn’t make it back after the blizzard?

Rapunzel is the new queen of Corona but far to occupied mourning to do her job.

Parcial Pardon

Frederic and Eugene reach an agreement, he isn’t given a full pardon but he is given a chance to make up for his crimes.

Strongbow Along for the Ride

What if Lance never went to prison and never separated from Eugene and was there during Tangled?

Queen of Amber

Arianna became encased in the amber and Frederic tries to kill Varian.

Cass Dies in the Great Tree (Pending Title Change)

Kinda self-explanatory.

The Hostage Situation

Instead of knock Cassandra out, Hector takers her hostage to force the gang to leave his home. Eugene tries to sneak back in while the rest of the gang leaves, he fails pretty miserably.

Thankfully Hector and Cassandra are able to bond over duty and foolish royals who don't listen to your warnings.

Mother Knows Best

Magic is heavily prosecuted in Corona.

Gothel really did rescue Rapunzel.

Eugene only realises the danger his put Rapunzel in by taking her from the tower after he falls in love.

Amber Alchemist

Quirin isn't there to save Varian from his experiments. But he is around to seek out justice for his son. (Quirin Villain arc!)

Mother Zhan Tiri

Zhan Tiri reached Cassandra through dreams slowly convincing her that Gothel is an unfit mother and will eventually hurt Rapunzel. Convincing Cassandra to escape with her sister and head to the dark kingdom where she will find the moonstone.

Gothel the Guardian of the Sundrop

Before the Sundrop can be turned to tea a woman shows up claiming she can heal the queen and princess if just allowed a moment alone.

She succeeds.

Frederic is forever grateful and gives the woman a position as Corona's healer, a home in the palace garden where she can heal and raise her daughter Cassandra.

Arianna does not much like Gothel, but her husbands is too grateful to see some of that behaviours. Besides, Gothel is the only healer Corona has.

That is until the thief Flynn Rider while hiding from the guards discovers an incantation in some underground tunnels and decides he wants in on the scam.

I think that's most of it! Also there's a few prequels for the Tangled Sisters AU. Obviously anything already publishing.

And I did leave a few projects that are either very unlikely to be finished or I just don't know how to describe!

Oh, and Our Undying Dream with @the-writer1988 that is also a WIP...

Yeah, I've definitely forgotten some stuff xD

But those are a good few o f them!

Tell me if you'd like to know more about any of them! Some of them are very fun :D

#ask answered #tangled the series fanfic #tangled the series fanfics #wips #wip #upcoming fics

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lady-harrowhark · 2 years ago

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Locked Tomb Characters as Taylor Swift Songs

hey there tlt demons, it’s me... your local taylor swift girl. credentials include over 15 years of swiftie experience and a well documented primal urge to infodump about both the locked tomb AND taylor swift. more under the cut because this thing is a beast. let’s get into it.

(update: Spotify link added in the comments)

Gideon: The Story of Us. Listen. Gideon is a Speak Now girlie. I will die on this hill. Everything is so cinematic - the fireworks, the kissing in the rain, it’s just like her comic books! She will absolutely be singing this album in the shower. And if you have anything to say about it? Sucks to have shitty taste, my dude, sounds like you hate fun.

Now I'm standing alone in a crowded room And we're not speaking and I'm dying to know Is it killing you like it's killing me yeah I don't know what to say since the twist of fate When it all broke down and the story of us Looks a lot like a tragedy now... next chapter

Harrow: Hoax. Now, I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking, “How dare you assign her a song not from Reputation?” And aesthetically, I hear you. She probably wants you to think that, actually. But while Harrow can identify with Reputation’s themes of the juxtaposition of public persona and private identity, she viscerally rejects the sweetness and vulnerability of Rep era tracks like Call It What You Want and New Year’s Day. But Folklore... Folklore is for abject despair. Hoax is Harrow crying into the mattress, remembering what she’s done. Hoax is “I still love you.”

My only one, my smoking gun, my eclipsed sun This has broken me down My twisted knife, my sleepless night, my win-less fight This has frozen my ground Stood on the cliffside, screaming, "Give me a reason" Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in

Ianthe: Better Than Revenge. We’re not supposed to like this one. In theory, the description of “Diss track about ex-boyfriend’s new girlfriend, written by an 18 year old” doesn’t really hold any appeal for me. But when you listen to it, you can’t help but love it in all its nasty glory. Sometimes women are mean, and I need a song to scream to about it. (Ianthe thinks she’s doing Dress with Harrow. She’s not.)

I never saw it coming, wouldn’t have suspected it I underestimated just who I was dealing with She had to know the pain was beating on me like a drum She underestimated just who she was stealing from

Coronabeth: Mirrorball. Corona is an expert at reflecting back what people want to see. She studies military history for Judith, learns all about shuttles for a boy who wouldn’t look twice at her, she pulls off the long con of convincing the empire she’s a necromancer. She’s a mirrorball.

I'm still a believer but I don't know why I've never been a natural, all I do is try, try, try I'm still on that trapeze, I'm still trying everything To keep you looking at me Because I'm a mirrorball, I’m a mirrorball I'll show you every version of yourself tonight

Palamedes: Champagne Problems. Oof. You must have known this one was coming, right? Unlike most of the songs on this list, Palamedes is the subject of this song rather than the narrator. You know who the narrator is.

Your mom's ring in your pocket, my picture in your wallet Your heart was glass, I dropped it: champagne problems ... One for the money, two for the show I never was ready, so I watch you go Sometimes you just don't know the answer 'Til someone's on their knees and asks you

Camilla: I’m Only Me When I’m With You. A personal favorite of mine that doesn’t get nearly the love it deserves. If this isn’t her and Palamedes, I don’t know what to tell you. And after the events of NtN... um...

And I know everything about you, I don't wanna live without you I'm only up when you're not down Don't wanna fly if you're still on the ground It's like no matter what I do Well, you drive me crazy half the time The other half I'm only trying To let you know that what I feel is true And I'm only me when I'm with you

Nona: A Place in This World. Nona Palona. Kiddie. Junior. No-No. Cutie Pie. Lil Bits. Was there ever any other choice for her? This song is the perfect blend of slice-of-life and the inherent isolation of Figuring Out What Your Deal Is. Some people’s deal is being the soul of a murdered planet in someone else’s body, you know? It happens.

Got the radio on, my old blue jeans And I'm wearing my heart on my sleeve Feeling lucky today, got the sunshine Could you tell me what more do I need? And tomorrow's just a mystery, oh yeah, but that's okay ... Oh, I’m just a girl, trying to find a place in this world

Pyrrha: Right Where You Left Me. Look, I’m sorry about this one. But if you really expected me to pick anything else for the woman who’s spent the past ten thousand years watching every person she’s ever loved leave her behind in one way or another? That’s on you.

Friends break up, friends get married Strangers get born, strangers get buried Trends change, rumors fly through new skies But I'm right where you left me Matches burn after the other Pages turn and stick to each other Wages earned and lessons learned But I'm right where you left me ... You left me no choice but to stay here forever

Alecto: My Tears Ricochet. This song never fails to give me the chills when I listen to it in the car. Taylor’s ghost story metaphor for being taken advantage of by her record label until she was forced to leave maps on eerily well to John’s betrayal. I’ve been trying to be succinct in my lyrical excerpts, but fuck it, Alecto can have two stanzas, as a treat.

We gather stones, never knowing what they'll mean Some to throw, some to make a diamond ring You know I didn't want to have to haunt you But what a ghostly scene You wear the same jewels that I gave you As you bury me

I didn't have it in myself to go with grace And so the battleships will sink beneath the waves You had to kill me, but it killed you just the same Cursing my name, wishing I stayed You turned into your worst fears

John: Dear John. Honestly, any number of characters could be the narrator here, but I’m primarily thinking of Alecto. Mercy was right about putting an age limit on the Lyctor trials: “don’t you think nineteen’s too young?” John is also getting two stanzas to better exemplify the extent of my rage here. Fingers crossed for Alecto shining like fireworks over his sad empty town in AtN!

Well maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame Maybe it's you and your sick need to give love then take it away And you'll add my name to your long list of traitors who don't understand And I'll look back and regret how I ignored when they said "Run as fast as you can"

You are an expert at sorry, and keeping the lines blurry Never impressed by me acing your tests All the girls that you've run dry have tired, lifeless eyes 'Cause you burned them out But I took your matches before fire could catch me, so don't look now I'm shining like fireworks over your sad, empty town

Kiriona: Would’ve Could’ve Should’ve. Right up front, I will acknowledge that this is a much different context than Taylor wrote this song about. However, the imagery is so spot on for Kiriona’s rage. Taylor was right to save this one for the 3 AM version of Midnights, not because it doesn’t deserve to be on the standard album, but because it would have completely overshadowed every other track with the rawness of her anger and regret. I feel physically ill every time I hear the line “Give me back my girlhood, it was mine first.” And Kiriona’s no stranger to giving someone your whole life and realizing they didn’t even want it.

God rest my soul, I miss who I used to be The tomb won't close, stained glass windows in my mind I regret you all the time I can't let this go, I fight with you in my sleep The wound won't close, I keep on waiting for a sign I regret you all the time

Mercymorn: Anti-Hero. I feel this one so strongly that I have actually already made a separate post comparing the lyrics to specific Mercy quotes (and I kind of want to do the same for Kiriona… hmmm). Unlovable Mercymorn, critical Mercymorn... it must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero.

It's me, hi, I'm the problem, it's me At tea time, everybody agrees I'll stare directly at the sun but never in the mirror It must be exhausting always rooting for the anti-hero

Augustine: The Archer. You know, I almost gave him Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince just for the drama and scheming, but I think The Archer captures the genteel façade overlaying his true feelings. It brings to mind the conversation during Dios Apate (minor) where he says he wants to believe that he could’ve stopped Alfred if he’d had just a bit more time. Ouch.

All the king's horses, all the king's men Couldn't put me together again 'Cause all of my enemies started out friends Help me hold onto you

G1deon: I Knew You Were Trouble. We know it, we love it, we laughed ‘til we cried over the version with goat noises edited in. He knew he was playing with fire, and look how things ended up.

I knew you were trouble when you walked in So shame on me now Flew me to places I'd never been Now I'm lying on the cold hard ground

Wake: Cowboy Like Me. A country ballad? For Wake? It’s more likely than you think. Cowboy Like Me is the story of two swindlers who didn’t mean to actually catch feelings... sound familiar?

Now you hang from my lips Like the Gardens of Babylon With your boots beneath my bed Forever is the sweetest con I've had some tricks up my sleeve Takes one to know one You're a cowboy like me And I’m never gonna love again

Pash: philosophical exemption

Judith: Enchanted. I knowwww, it seems a little frilly and glittery for Judith, but hear me out. How starstruck she was over Marta, how working with her for the first time did absolutely nothing to change that. Thinking of no one else until she’s able to suggest her for her cavalier, secretly reading, ahem, “materials” and dreaming about making things different between them... Yeah, Judith was definitely enchanted to meet her.

This is me praying that This was the very first page Not where the story line ends My thoughts will echo your name, until I see you again These are the words I held back, as I was leaving too soon I was enchanted to meet you

Cytherea: Look What You Made Me Do. The old Cytherea can’t come to the phone right now. Why? Cause she’s dead! I love this for Cyth, not just for surface level content, which certainly fits, but for the context of the song. When LWYMMD was first released, the public consensus was that it was a response to the whole Kim/Kanye situation. In the years since, though, it’s become public that behind the scenes, Taylor was struggling to regain control of her work from her record label. With that context, much of the lyrics and music video reflect that conflict, rather than the one everyone assumed. In the same way, Cytherea’s motivation and actions look much different through the lens of what we learn throughout the next two books.

But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!

Dulcie: Bigger Than The Whole Sky. This one hurts. In a series full of tragedy, the fact that this delightful menace never got to meet Palamedes and Camilla in person is enough to break my heart. Our sweet little malign fairy, who has never done anything wrong in her life.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye You were bigger than the whole sky You were more than just a short time And I've got a lot to pine about I've got a lot to live without I'm never gonna meet What could've been, would've been What should've been you

Abigail: September. Not a Taylor Swift original, but her folksy cover of the classic is so soft and cozy. Comforting, in that Abigail way. If she and Magnus danced to this one, I can’t blame him for keeping a scrap of her dance card.

Our hearts were ringin' In the key that our souls were singin' As we danced in the night, remember How the stars stole the night away

Magnus: Starlight. More songs for saving dance cards! I can imagine him both sweetly dancing with Abigail AND being a huge dork and embarrassing Isaac and Jeannemary to this one. (Noooooo Magnus, don’t dance to Taylor Swift!)

And I said, "Oh my, what a marvelous tune" It was the best night, never would forget how we moved The whole place was dressed to the nines And we were dancing, dancing Like we're made of starlight, starlight

Isaac and Jeannemary: Long Live. Because that’s what they should’ve been able to do, ugh. I sort of meant this as a joke but when I went to copy the lyrics over I started getting all teary-eyed, so, you know. It’s fine.

Will you take a moment? Promise me this That you'll stand by me forever But if, God forbid, fate should step in And force us into a goodbye If you have children some day When they point to the pictures Please tell 'em my name Tell 'em how the crowds went wild Tell 'em how I hope they shine Long live the walls we crashed through I had the time of my life with you

Cassiopeia: Vigilante Shit. I love the image of Cassy as a contract lawyer vigilante, but I also love the implications in this song that she was working behind his back with his wife Alecto. Gotta make sure she gets the Benz in the divorce, and if the FBI get involved? Well, that’s out of her hands at that point [sips coffee].

She needed cold hard proof so I gave her some She had the envelope, where you think she got it from? Now she gets the house, gets the kids, gets the pride Picture me thick as thieves with your ex-wife

Anastasia: Haunted. The church bells! The drama! So very Ninth. With Haunted, we get both her devastation at “misapprehending” the ascension process and her growing horror at the ways she’s begun to realize they’ve all been manipulated.

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Something's gone terribly wrong You're all I wanted Come on, come on, don't leave me like this I thought I had you figured out Can't breathe whenever you're gone Can't turn back now, I'm haunted

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paradoxcase · 1 year ago

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Blood of Eden Memorandum for Record

I wonder if this memorandum is from Wake's tenure, or from afterwards. It sounds like BOE tactics may have changed significantly after Wake's death, e.g. John saying that BOE never would have used nukes against his fleet under Wake's command

I totally thought the exception was going to be that the Ninth House necromancers are still obvious goths, but it was actually the Lyctors, haha

If this is really the official BOE position on this, that death is 100% final and the soul is completely destroyed on death, then why did they believe that Wake had returned as a revenant, as stated in the previous glossary? Surely, if Cytherea's body had stood up at Canaan House and told BOE that it was Wake returned, they would have dismissed this as being some kind of ruse by a necromancer to fool them?

After extensive detailing of what necromancers can do, this is completely hilarious, actually

This can't possibly be remotely true. If any of this was at all true about regular non-Lyctor necromancers, the plot of Gideon the Ninth would have been very different and Cytherea never would have gotten away with killing anyone. Actually, if this was at all true, no one in the entire Nine Houses could reasonably expect to get away with murder under any circumstances, just imagine living in a world with this kind of all-seeing necromancer cops who instantly know all the details of any murder you could commit. Also, the Ninth House would have known how Wake had died and maybe even what she had come there to do, and probably a lot more people would have known about Harrow's family murdering the 200 children. Necromancers can speak to ghosts and find out things from them after their deaths, but this mostly seems to involve a ritual of some kind that seems inconvenient on a battlefield, and anyway, they can't get information from the ghosts that the ghosts don't actually have, such as "where was the sniper who killed you standing"

I have to wonder what actual powers or tactics the Cohort uses that make BOE think this is a thing. Lyctors can sense living humans and thus would know where the snipers are regardless of whether or not they actually shot someone, but I don't think Lyctors have gone out with the Cohort in recent times

So Lyctors did at one point in time actually engage with BOE (beyond Gideon's mission to assassinate Wake) rather than simply hanging out with John and fighting resurrection beasts for him. Since it took them like 1000 years or so to figure out that the resurrection beasts were out there, maybe it happened during that time? They weren't in the low single digits back then, but they probably have updated information on that from Wake

I have to wonder if they can recognize Lyctors, and would have recognized Harrow and Ianthe as Lyctors when they came to Canaan House, or if they just thought they were dead. It seems unlikely that they would have recognized them as Lyctors given that even actual necromancers were unable to identify Corona as not being a necromancer

It is interesting that necromancers are referred to exclusively using it/its pronouns throughout this whole document, and in a couple cases I think "human" is being used to mean "non-necromancer", as if necromancers are not actually human. This sort of makes me wonder if whatever contingent of BOE that arrived at Canaan House ever even realized the Judith was a necromancer. From the way they talk about them in this document, I don't think they would have taken her captive if they had realized that

It's also interesting that BOE doesn't seem to have ever realized that regular necromancers are kind of useless in space

#the locked tomb #harrow the ninth #blood of eden memorandum for record

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silverraes · 11 months ago

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My Top 9 albums of 2023

tagged by @mysterygrl20 tysm <3

my taste in music is kind of all over the place so prepare yourself for a wild ride, although I also listen to a lot of kpop (I've kinda been slacking on keeping up with releases over the past year tho oops) and we definitely have some overlap in favorite albums

I apologize in advance for how long this post is going to become but you're really opening the floodgates by letting me talk about music lol

(it's been a very dry year for my favorite metal bands or this list would've been even more chaotic lmao)

1) Dear Insanity... by DPR Ian

while I struggled to rank most of these, there was absolutely no question about my #1 album of the year. I only just discovered DPR Ian in 2023 and he very quickly became my favorite artist ever. you might have even seen me talk about this album an unhealthy amount of times already lol. he's just such an insanely good artist and every single song on this album is just soooo damn good.

part of why I love him so much is also the story he tells throughout his music videos and just how insanely good all of his MVs look and how well the visuals fit the music so I feel obligated to link the MV to my favorite song off this album:

(some flashing lights in this one, folks, be warned)

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2) The World Ep.2: Outlaw by Ateez

everything Ateez releases is immediately getting added to my favorites, what can I say. I didn't have the money to go to their 2023 tour but I did see them live in 2022... absolutely worth the one and only time I ever caught corona. not a single bad song on this album, they're all absolute bangers.

3) Take Me Back To Eden by Sleep Token

I only just discovered Sleep Token in 2023 but I absolutely fell in love with this entire album and their style in general. almost got to see them live but then I ended up getting surgery on the exact day of their concert... :')

4) OO-LI by Woodz

I am a Woodz stan first and a human second. I'm convinced this man is incapable of releasing bad music, everything he does is just so damn good and I love how he explores a bunch of different genres while still making all of his music just sound like him y'know

also honorable mention to Amnesia which is only a single album so it didn't make the list but if you like more eerie stuff and the general vibe of his music, definitely check it out, I love it so much

5) On My Youth by WayV

WayV will forever have me in a chokehold. they've been my favorite NCT unit since their debut and honestly also the only unit I managed to properly keep up with over the last year ashgasj. I just really love their style of music and how they've actually been sticking to it

6) The Name Chapter: Temptation by TXT

It's truly been a TXT kinda year for me, I've been listening to them a lot. there aren't many songs on this album but I still love it so so much, all of the songs are great and Sugar Rush Ride is such a unique title track

7) Dark Blood by Enhypen

honestly Enhypen are part of the reason why I might have to update my top 3 kpop groups to a top 5 lol. all of their albums so far have been great and this one was no different, I still listen to a lot of the songs on it on repeat

8) RUSH! (Are U Coming?) by Måneskin

well what can I say, Måneskin have had me in a chokehold ever since they won the Eurovision and I actually got to see them live in 2023! drove all the way over to Berlin for them and everything, great album with great songs. I love both their more rock-ish songs and their slower songs and this album has a great mix of both (although I wish there would've been some more Italian songs on here)

9) MONO by K.Flay

K.Flay has been one of my more underrated faves for a couple years by now and I'll take any chance to gush about her music. there's just something very unique about K.Flay's music and this album certainly didn't disappoint. honestly, the only reason why I ended up putting this one on the "last" place is that I haven't listened to it as much as the other albums on this list

Honorable mentions!

bc once I start talking about music, I just simply can not stop at only 9 albums and this list isn't quite chaotic enough yet to properly describe my taste in music lmao

ODD-VENTURE by MCND

this is a rather recent one so I haven't listened to it enough for it to make the list, but I love everything MCND put out and this is definitely also a great album! (plus the title track is yeehaw kpop which is incredibly creative of them and I didn't know I needed that in my life)

HAPPYPILLS by Utsu-P

and this is where I expose the true chaotic nature of my taste in music lmao. Utsu-P's music is the perfect clash of world's between teen-me's obession with vocaloid and current-me's love for metal. I didn't include this album bc I still haven't gotten around to listening to all of it, but the songs that I did listen to, I absolutely loved

Phantomime by Ghost

oh you thought you made it through an entire post of me talking about music without mentioning Ghost? Hah, fool. jokes aside, this is an album full of cover songs so I didn't include it but it's still full of bangers. I reached audio cap now but I'll include their Jesus He Knows Me cover bc this was an absolute treat to witness live:

youtube

if you've made it this far without getting whiplash: congrats!

tagging (as always, no pressure, feel free to ignore this): @negrowhat @fallsouthwinter @spicypussywave @thisisworsethanitlookslike @supanuts @buddhamethods @alienwlw and anyone else who wants to do it!

#the lack of skz is only bc i still have not managed to listen to the full albums i'm-#i've been slacking on kpop releases so bad this past year it's ridiculous lol #tag game #tagged #music #rae's music rambles #Youtube #Spotify

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flossy2003 · 10 months ago

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So I finally updated The Girl in the Dark after nearly two years. Enjoy. 💖

Girl in the Dark, for those who haven’t read it, is an au, where Cassandra lives with Gothel until early adulthood. Rapunzel gets sick at seventeen years old and the Golden flower is the only thing that can save her life. Gothel kidnaps Rapunzel and locks her in the tower, after the flower gives her magic hair.

Gothel leaves Cassandra for dead, to keep her quiet, but Cass eventually gets found and taken in by the Captain. Unfortunately Fred has other ideas.

One day a handsome thief is looking for somewhere to hide and climbs the tower, not expecting to find the Princess of Corona tied up inside. The two strike up a deal to set Rapunzel free. 💖

#tangledtheseries #tangled the series #tts #tangled #tangled cassandra #cassandratangled #rapunzel #tangled au #eugenefitzherbert

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yourgamemasterthewhiterabbit · 5 months ago

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One year of living here

[and what it looked like when I moved in]

Gremlin update: supplemental

Well it has officially been a year since I moved in here and maybe I should do a year end review...

Last year on June 1st the situation was this:

I had recently been pushed to tell my landlord about my roommate assaulting me because my other roommate was threatening consistently to move out and leave me alone with him, and in response, within the month, my landlord decided to sell the house we were renting, to a private family, prompting our immediate eviction [a decision he claims is unrelated]. So after a struggle to find a place at all and agreeing to pay 1000 of my 1200 pension in rent to finally secure a place, and another 1000 in moving expenses, I found myself standing in the entry to what looked like a tightly packed storage unit with my cat in his carrier and a narrow passage to the bathroom door.

And I mean so full of stuff there were things pushing up the tiles of the drop ceiling, the kitchen was fully buried, you could not tell it was an apartment. Imagine everything in a 3 story house and garage packed haphazardly into a 10X15 space... Or imagine a can of sardines. And the shelf had been partially ripped off the wall between me viewing the place and me stepping in the door...

And despite an outlet right at the door, one in the kitchen, and an explicit request not to bury my freezers because it was all of my food and I wanted to be sure they were plugged in and have access to food to eat... The movers insisted the only outlets they could find were all the way at the back of the apartment, so all I had -that I could conceivably unbury- was the can of beans and hot sauce that the previous tenant had left sealed in the nearest cupboard... Which I only knew was there because I had just enough time to drop off my plants and move anything left in the cabinets to the cabinet over the stove before having to lock the place back up. I hadn't even had the time and energy to wash down the apartment before the movers crammed everything in there.

And they had done other things like leave all my book cases empty and facing the back of the apartment so I couldn't put things in them to clear space. They had put my dresser facing the back with the drawers pulled out and stacked on top in a random pile so I would have to be able to unbury the whole thing with elbow room to condense the drawers back into the frame. They left a pile of my things outside next to the building, including things I explicitly told them not to. They had moved me in like they hate me personally for some deeply unforgivable crime and wanted me to fail and then charged me 1000$ after having quoted me 300.

I had to sleep on top of a wooden chest that was crammed at an angle through the bathroom doorway for the first week while I had to puzzle my way out of it...

Here are some photos, the way the movers left it [It doesn't look like this now, to be sure]:

And how I had to set up my phone charging, music player and a source of light in my bathroom... I cannot stress enough that this was all tidily arranged in boxes, totes, bags and a taped up clothing rack for them when they took it from the house. Yes that is my Piccolo plushy and jacket with my cane at the door where I had to put them... And 2 brooms, not some huge handled contraption, just 2 brooms... And my crutches because OH YEAH I MASSIVELY re-fucked up my ankle during the apartment searching and was back to being in a boot and crutches because I could barely fucking walk...

At this point I had been super run down by apartment hunting all over the place in a desperate scramble to not be homeless for even one night because Corona meant shelters are unsafe for me, a near guarantee of dying every night I would have to stay in one... It had already been stressful 3 months, and expensive. I have cfs, I had just gotten over the worst of a bunch of long covid bullshit when this all started going down.

So I am standing there in the 2 square feet at the door, looking at this, and thought to take a photo at least, anxious about trying to fit in the rest of my stuff from outside before someone started stealing something expensive and important or before it all got utterly ruined by rain, or before the landlord got pissed off... Having just paid 2000 for first and last and another 1000 on moving expenses, trying to tell myself I will probably get CHOB and if not I can make 200 and a food bank work...

I had no one to help me and even if I did it wouldn't have been safe due to corona. For years now I have been 'on my own' financially and in terms of help with anything, usually even despite having friends or family that I helped out when they need it... But losing everyone I had left due to corona complicating my ability to go out, and my new found inability to safely meet new people means I had, well the apartment, and no extra space or vehicle to work with... Just the storage box in front of me and myself [and Pumpkin to worry about]...

I think most people would have cried. [I'll cry about it later]

I think a lot of people would have given up.

Some would have done a violence. [still time to do that maybe]

I have this amazing ability to:

a) Not process stress or distress while I am actively experiencing it, leaving me open to critical thinking [I'll have my breakdown after the danger has passed and when I am alone and feel safe]

b) never feel bad about myself for having ended up in a shit situation thus removing guilt or same or low self esteem from the equation

c) Tell myself, after years of experience and -repeated- practice, that I have the capacity to dig myself back out of problems, physical energy permitting, speed variable

These are the bruises and injuries, some of them, I got in the first week climbing over under and around furniture, carrying other boxes and furniture to try to organize my way into having room to move.

And I ate a lot of cold sandwiches in the first couple months because I had no kitchen and OH YEAH IT WAS 50 DEGREES IN HERE [120F]... I have pots, which is made infinitely worse by being too hot... And the one tiny window that opens I couldn't even open because my neighbour wouldn't stop smoking right under it out out his front door that is right next to it and I am allergic.

One of the first things I did after making the place survivable and setting up everything Pumpkin needed in the bathroom, was start digging out my book cases so I could -at some point- unpack all my book boxes into them and get them out of the way. Having my book cases makes me feel slightly more sane and grounded. Usually they are the first thing I unpack, that was NOT the case this time.

Usually when I move I get the keys as early as I can to go over and do preliminary cleaning of shared spaces and my own space. I take measurements during the interview process and have a floor plan mapped out, and so by the time I get there everything is in the right room and roughly not horridly arranged and everything under my stuff has been cleaned of other people... Not this time.

But I did, before long, set up my book cases so I could feel like a person again... and have somewhere to put my tea. It took me till the 17th of June -last year ofc- to get this far:

Here is they, with nothing else pictured because nothing else looked like anything but pile of storage.

The first thing I had to do was dig out my freezers, confirm they were plugged in and get them halfway across the apartment, and dig out the kitchen.

And I did, one grueling and stupid step at a time.

... But yeah, that's what June a year ago looked like.

I think one of the first things I did, maybe in June idk was stack 18 or so totes into a platform in the corner and get my mattress up on it so I had somewhere to sleep... Okay actually at first the platform was in the middle of the room and a whole row higher [the artist sleeping on a stack of things about 2 feet from the ceiling was foreshadowing for my own actual life something fierce]. This platform would spend most of the next year slowly collapsing in on itself until I finally accepted failure and set up the bunk bed properly.

And then I spent July, August, and September organizing things one at a time into the next better arrangement. Then I had to rush to get all my winter groceries done before I had to shut myself in here without leaving for 6 months on account that I can't get my cart through the snow and can't get in transportation with other people due to corona...

And then I spent the winter recovering and organizing.

I should have taken more pictures of the various hellish and unconventional between steps, for sure.

June of 2024:

This place looks so different.

I can't even clearly remember how I got from there to here, it was just so much finding the next thing to move and moving it, for just months.

I can't get you pictures because my phone's cord won't stay connected to the computer long enough to transfer anything and I need to buy a new one... But Imagine it looks like there is less than 1/3 as much stuff, simply by being better arranged. And imagine it arranged in a way that looks organized.

And it looks livable.

It looks like an apartment and not a storage unit! [Or it will once I move the chairs again]

I took apart one whole desk, got rid of that green drawer plastic unit, and someone stole my bike [not the trike] is mostly what I got rid of but I also brought -in- everything from outside.

The next time I get you pictures you will actually be able to see the layout of the apartment, for one, there is mostly just one tidy stack of storage near the door and the rest is pretty well arranged. I still need to downsize but I am now in a position to safely go through everything at my own pace and actually decide what to get rid of. Also in a position to repair things to actually use them, and getting to a point where I can focus on finishing projects to downsize the scraps that are left when I am done them.

The situation now is more:

-The hair I lost from stress [or potentially being poisoned] is all growing back at various rates and I have baby bangs again at 36... But also bangs and a lot of hair that's 1-10 inches long that's all fresh growth.

-The smoking neighbour moved away or something

-I got CHOB after all -it was not a super certain thing- and am now back to 'securely' having finances to manage instead of scrambling to make 200 work for food and supplies [and I am very good with money so I have savings again].

-I'm a full day of work away from having this place in shape enough I wouldn't consider it a disaster if the landlord had to come over [and they have to give 24 hours notice]

-I have my health card and ID renewed and I am sure they were already expired by last June, so that's new

-I have an air conditioner and inclusive rent and I don't have to worry about roommates being stupid with it and running up bills.

-I have been marveling all year at just how much roommates were making my life hell and how amazing it is to live alone. My dishes are done! When I clean it stays clean! No one fucks anything up or breaks anything! There's no FLIES! There's no bugs! There's no old food! There's no mold problem! There's no icky little fly spots on everything! [I don't have to deal with Fine just letting her cat pee everywhere and not cleaning it up because she's too dense to realize the yellow staining is bleaching from urine and not "puke" or leaving things on the floor by the door which is the one way Pumpkin will pee on something]

-I haven't had a severe allergy attack or been infected with anything since having my own place and my physical health is steadily recovering to the point where I can now tolerate being a little hyperthyroid without it destroying me

-I have a switch now so I can play BOTW and TOTK to my heart's content and find all the koroks... [silly but we need whimsy]

-I have a neighbour who keeps checking to make sure I'm alive

Maybe it seems silly but the last offline friend I had and my mother both, when I asked them to check in on me with a daily phone call because I was having heart attacks -that the hospital wasn't taking seriously because they were cardiac spasms and not from clots- and I was worried I'd lose consciousness and die on my floor before someone found me, couldn't be bothered to actually do it, they both called or texted me 1-2 WEEKS later with a passive aggressive "So are you still alive or what >:("... And Yeah, I don't speak to them anymore, I don't have friends or family in my life at all anymore because everyone kept treating me like that...

So to lose everyone the moment I have to ask them to do something as simple as check in on my when I know I am in crisis [which is a very rare thing for me, most people are convinced I don't know how to ask for help]... To have my roommate/'friend' hear my book case fall over on top of me when she knew I was having heart problems and not bother saying anything or checking in on me for a whole week either... I can sit here and know it's not a reflection of my objective value all I want, but it doesn't change the fact that I had no one in my life who could be moved to act like they gave one iota of a fuck about me...

And now I have a neighbour who just noticed I was unusually shut in and alone and worries when she or her partner don't see me or Pumpkin after a while. She tries very hard to do things like text me compliments about my weird little garden [that I know is very sad actually, I haven't really gotten to the flower part more than just the green part... but she is very sweet]. Having a stranger go very out of their way past me being cranky and reclusive to respect my boundaries and leave notes in my box and text me as requested, in order to make sure I am okay is good for my mental health. I needed this. I needed it from my friend and family, really, but getting it from a complete stranger is so much better than not at all.

This week I started getting to repairing things with epoxy that had broken and getting them put in place.

I'm not as productive in winter as i tend to be in summer months in part due to SAD, not so much outright depression but just being lower energy due to a lack of sunlight, and usually being too cold, though this year it was due to being too warm due to old heating controls, but now I am set up for a summer of not overheating with the apartment looking like it's in a good starting point. I'm set up to be able to take out and address one thing at a time while I have a clean and relatively nice apartment to do it in, without overheating and having to stay laying down.

There are wildflowers in a vase on the counter! I have little packages on the way! I have a little man screaming at me for his gravy meats!

I'm starting to put up decor as I find and repair it. I'm starting to be able to decorate.

I have a full kitchen to cook for myself now! [I did not in the last place because I was isolated to the basement]

There's empty open floor space!

Everything is clean on a regular-ish basis or daily!

This summer I will undoubtedly make so much progress.

This fall I should be able to do the winter shopping at a leisurely pace.

This winter I should be 100% set up to start batch cooking and baking again, but also with the AC unit I can cook in here in the summer and fall without dying.

Still not talking to any family and I don't really have offline friends, but I have a neighbour who notices when I am too quiet or when I decorate my door or garden, or window.

I'm going to get a full sized recycle bin and organize my paperwork!

This year I am probably finally going to get a decent graphics card!

I have my noise machine and Myst music on on a regular basis now, I took out my candles and incense this week because it's safe now!

I am still so tired but nothing looks daunting anymore and the more I get done the more approachable everything looks.

By the end of this summer I should know what my "new normal" looks like and get to enjoy it.

Maybe I'll check in again June next year to recap everything I got done? I have a regular-ish blog anyway...

#personal update

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dragoneyes618 · 10 months ago

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Dear Lorne,

A long time ago, you began your career as a television writer for the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation, before moving to Los Angeles, and eventually getting a shot at producing Saturday Night Live in 1975. It’s important to remember that the odds of becoming as powerful and rich as you have is a longshot at best. A man who has garnered over 60 Emmys, produces several television shows and films, and has turned names like Sandler, Ferrel, Rock, Belushi, Chase, Radner and Murphy into very rich and famous people says something about your power.

But here’s the thing.

Spider-Man warned us that with great power comes great responsibility.

Now don’t get me wrong. No one loves a hard laugh more than me. In fact, for many years, I was the class clown, making jokes and getting laughs, having spent many hours in the principal’s office or detention. Sometimes, I went a bit far but ultimately, I knew where to draw the line. I’m not so sure that you do.

Last week, former Saturday Night Live star Cecily Strong backed out of playing Representative Elise Stefanik on the show because she was “uncomfortable” with the heavily criticized sketch. You know, the one where you mocked Rep. Elise Stefanik, the one person trying to stop blatant hatred of Jews. You could have mocked and castigated Mrs. “It depends on the context” Magill, the clown who couldn’t say a genocide against Jews constitutes bullying or harassment. Now that, Lorne, would have been funny. But don’t take my word for it. There were many people who were shocked at that decision.

Journalist Jake Wallis Simons asserted, “Can’t believe SNL decided to mock those demanding tougher action on Jew-hatred on campus rather than those making excuses for calls for genocide.”

Meghan McCain mentioned that there is a “400% increase in antisemitic hate crime since October 7th and SNL thinks it’s hilarious…This is vile. Vile.” Dr. Sara Yael Hirschhorn noted, “This is really appalling – [NBC] do you think antisemitism is acceptable as the punchline of a joke about American society? This needs to be investigated by the FCC.” Kevin Haggerty wrote, “The disconnect from humor caused by the ‘woke mind virus’ found Saturday Night Live taking heat for a ‘vile’ skit. This is no longer satire. This is propaganda.” The ADL has tracked multiple ‘Weekend Update’ jokes this season that inappropriately using Jews as the punchline.

In fact, a few years ago during the Corona crisis, host Michael Che “joked” about Israel’s coronavirus vaccine rollout: “Israel is reporting that they’ve vaccinated half of their population. I’m going to guess it’s the Jewish half.” The ADL told Fox News that “basing the premise of the joke on factual inaccuracies and playing into an antisemitic trope inspires the mass murder of countless Jews throughout the centuries.”

Lorne, we all appreciate that ratings are key. But you could have found a dozen things to make fun of, yet instead chose to mock someone who is defending your rights. And Lorne, I think we all know that if the victims of these three morally bankrupt school presidents were not Jewish but black, that skit never would have aired. Even Al Sharpton, hardly a close friend of Jews, agreed and commented that if this vitriol was directed toward the black community, buses and protests would immediately line the streets.

The question that begs to be asked is why? Why do you continually choose to satire and mock Jews when you are one yourself?

The NBC office and the Rockefeller walls are not immune to mobs of terrorists like the ones who ran through colleges chanting “death to Jews.” As history has shown us, Hitler didn’t discriminate between the Jews he gassed.

What’s worse, the humor fell flat and opened the door to more haters of Jews. The only people that should have been mocked were the three antisemites in sheep’s clothing. Instead, your writers castigated the one courageous woman who chose to stick up for Jews when practically everyone else remained silent. And she’s not even Jewish.

Rather than mock her, you should thank her for her courage in fighting injustices.

No one is asking you to give up your $500 million empire. No one is asking you to march in Washington or donate to an Israeli cause. Asking you to stop adding fuel to the fire of antisemitism is not a huge ask.

In many ways, G-d chose to place you in a powerful position to help. To make a difference. But perhaps without intending to do so, you hurt a lot of people who take these threats and attacks very seriously. In fact, we have 6 million reasons to take these actions very seriously. You could follow the lead of other powerful individuals, like Arnold Schwarzenegger, David Schwimmer, Steven Spielberg, Patricia Heaton, Debra Messing, Jamie Lee Curtis, Mayim Bialik, Amy Schumer, Jon Voight, Madonna, Adam Sandler, Michael Rapaport, or the countless others who have chosen to stand up against tyranny and hate. Yet, for some reason, you chose the opposite.

Perhaps the most ironic aspect is that you were born on a kibbutz before your parents emigrated to Toronto.

Imagine if they decided to stay on that kibbutz.

Imagine if your whole family was there on October 7.

Ten to one, I’ll bet it wouldn’t depend on context.

#lorne michaels #antisemitism #israel

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