#cook an egg on him

[ask-the-chairman]

technically speaking....

you can be a heated chair if we get you angry enough

That’s not funny. You are not funny and I am not laughing. Actually, its more irritating than anything. Are you all illiterate? It says “Important inquiries only”, I made sure the important part was capitalized. And also, who is “we”? Who are you?

[notherpuppet]

Good morning 🍎📻

[spicy-suns]

Cookin’

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Lan Wangji might be an unstoppable force, but Xie Lian has 800+ years of practice of being an immovable object.

(poll results here for context)

[empty-promises-too-much-to-count]

I don't know if it's a canon thing or a really popular hc, but Dick not being able to cook is something u will never belive

You can't convince me this boy didn't try to help Alfred in any way possible and wasn't always watching him cook anytime he could

He may not cook a lot, cause it's fucking exhausting no matter how much you like doing it (saying this as a person who can cook, but does it when only in the mood), but he can do it and he isn't falling over his feet he will cook cause it would be the most fulfilling meal in this month (yeah, it's probably a once/twice a month event when he cooks, cause God, this guy does not get enough rest)

Bonus+

People around him may also think he cooks awfully cause they never see him do it, so they just assume he can't, cause why would your ration contain only cereal and fast food if you can cook? (Cause it's exhausting. It does not accure to them)

Also Dick stress cooks after arguments, cause a good knife work is a nice stress relief. He can do this fast cutting thing, when the slices are thin and his fingers aren't cut all over (I need this super power).

Never disturb his cooking, no matter in what mood he started, walk around the kitchen like on egg shells, cause there is a possibility of a knife being thrown at you. Or that you'll have to finish the cooking cause he'd suddenly won't want to cook anymore (I'm projecting)

Bonus++ (birdflash)

Wally learned about the previous paragrath quirks first hand and first he had to catch a knife that was thrown at him (he decided to never ask how dinner with Bruce went ever again, cause he values his life and Dick's mental health) and then had to finish whatever genius of culinary he was doing (he never tells what's that he cooking, but it always turns out good)

Wally does most of the cooking, but he's cooking mostly average, like, edible, pretty tasty, but nowhere Dick's level, neither of them complains, but sometimes Wally would try the dish Dick made the last time he was in the mood for it, and it would obviously be not as good and he'd get kinda upset

[gummi-ships]

Kingdom Hearts 3 - Le Grand Bristot

[raticalshoez]

i'm having hyperfixation drought so i did what i did best and created a crossover episode

[gothiethefairy]

i like to imagine one of the relationship building exercises laios and kabru do is cook something together. laios is a pretty average cook, but he did pick up on senshi's advice during their time together.

kabru learns because it helps him get used to the ingredients in the food. and also, laios giving him the most judgey look when he admitted he doesn't even know how to cook an egg will haunt him forever.

[rosemaryreality]

Guys I'm crying why does the official translation make it sound like Megumi wants to live that housewife lifestyle

[sunnysideaeggs]

aegon never had a chance right? aegon was literally raised by hightowers in love with targaryens. he never would’ve been able to surpass viserys and rhaenyra in otto and alicent’s eyes. nothing he did could’ve changed that.

[drdt-headcanons]

Ace burns eggs regularly, Whit routinely teases him about it and since he actually knows how to cook offers to make him some

Gay panic hits, and Ace just stammers out a frustrated yes and he will be avoiding blonde people like the plague for the next 48 hours or so, lest the homosexual thoughts consume him.

Ace wants to be a boykisser so badly

:D

[lunewolf13]

Steph and Cass decide to use Alfred's kitchen:

Steph: Do you ever just wonder, 'am I good enough?'

Cass: No.

Steph: That's the spirit! Now let's see how well you can cook!

Cass: Badly.

Steph: It's just waffles! How bad could you be?

Twenty minutes later, after turning off the smoke detector and opening the windows:

Steph, cutting into the 'waffle': I mean, a little burnt never hurt anyone.

That was an understatement. Really, it was impressive that she managed to make a charred waffle. How did it even happen?? Steph was right here the entire time!

As she's about to sacrifice herself and take a bite, Cass takes her wrist.

Cass: Don't eat. You'll die.

...Yeah. She probably would.

Steph: Batburger?

Cass nodded: Batburger.

Steph should've believed Tim when he said Cass has a permanent ban from Alfred's kitchen. No one's perfect.

[edibleorphans]

please enjoy this stupid drawing of boothill i did over a picture of me making the same expression. you're welcome. Let him cook.

[daily-hanamura]

[egophiliac]

Have you seen Lilia's vignette yet? Our insight into his initial parenting skills sure was, something.

HA HA YEP, Lilia's. questionable parenting has come up a few times and it's always, like, he read Baby Instructions 101 and went "ooh, I like red, I'll do those ones :)". he has Dad Instincts, but unfortunately they are Stereotypical '90s Sitcom Dad Instincts.

it was, however, worth it to see Sebek (watching Lilia gleefully dunking a bat into a coffee cup) just slowly turn to Silver and go "how the fuck are you alive".

[andy-clutterbuck]

This Life | 2x16