#conversation with wanderlust in my soul

[blmpff]

BEAUTIFUL PERSON AWARD! Once you are given this award you're supposed to paste it in the asks of people who deserve it. If you break the chain nothing happens, but it's sweet to know someone thinks you're beautiful inside and out⭐️

Thank you for thinking of me 🥰💕💞❣️

And very much right back at you❣️❣️❣️

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Episode 10: The Couch

Wow @lurkingshan, it’s like you really know me! This scene is exactly what I was going to talk about for Episode 10 because the fucking TENSION put so much weight in to the air when I was watching that I could hardly breathe. 

CHRIS CHIU

THE ACTOR THAT YOU ARE

Scene Breakdown time!

First of all, I love the little couple dynamic moments we get between Lili and San Pang, where Lili has to tap San Pang in to Yuan and Qian’s fight. San Pang arrives and in a very strategic move informed by knowing Qian and Yuan for a significant amount of their lives, he arrives with food he knows will go over well with Qian and will test Yuan’s ears (he comes down the stairs from his room to throw the food away after all). 

Which, let’s just acknowledge that when Yuan comes downstairs and takes all the alcohol and greasy food away, the moment Yuan approaches the coffee table, Qian looks back towards the TV screen pretending he is disinterested in the situation at hand. But his eyes give him away because he keeps glancing at Yuan when he thinks he can steal a second. And stealing is what he is trying to do because he keeps his head pointed directly towards the television, while looking for half a second at Yuan out of the corner of his eye when Yuan leans over to collect the food. After that moment, Qian does not look towards Yuan again until Yuan has turned around and Qian can stare at his back. 

It must be said. Chris is a phenomenal actor, because even without seeing his face, just the top of his head, you can kind of tell the mood that Qian is in as Yuan walks away, because he turns towards Yuan. We see Yuan look in Qian’s direction, Qian moves his head further back to look at San Pang, then looks away shaking his head. I acknowledge I’m probably reading too much in to it, but I can feel the incredulity radiating off of that head shake. 

Yuan heads up the stairs, and Qian looks towards the staircase only after Yuan has disappeared. His head movement is so much more obvious than his previous motions that it literally looks like Qian is breaking character, or like he was previously frozen and had only now been allowed to breathe. Qian’s eyes look up towards the staircase (towards Yuan’s absence), then downward as he thinks about his next move, then back towards San Pang, then down once more as he makes a decision about whether or not he wants to Start The Conversation. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul (my savior)

Qian here is trying to check that Yuan is out of earshot because he Will Not have the The Conversation about His Feelings if there is a chance that Yuan will know about it. 

With the heaviest of sighs, Qian gives San Pang an opening: “Did you buy those for me, or for him to throw away?”  Qian asks, and once again looks out of the corner of his eye, getting serious “Or for him to throw away?” 

And there is no doubt in my mind that it is the latter. San Pang bringing food that would trigger Yuan’s care instincts towards Qian, cause Yuan to intervene, and San Pang to bear witness to the tense and angry energy from Yuan towards Qian and force the issue. I think it’s partially why Qian does not deliberate for long in starting the conversation despite his hesitancy. 

San Pang scoffs and says in response “He wouldn’t have done that if he didn’t care about you. Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone.” holds up the salad as a physical example of the care that Yuan has for Qian. 

gifs by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian gives another giant exhale and looks contemplative. Something that I do find really important in good acting is the use of internal monologue. Qian always has something on his mind that he is sitting with. And the benefit of a scene like this is that the production team, and the camera trust the strength of their actors to hold the silence that settles over the room as Chris runs the gambit of Qian’s internal thoughts. 

Qian is well and truly sitting with the acknowledgement of Yuan’s feelings from San Pang. Maybe I am wrong because I am not an actor, but I do not have the kind of intentional and conscious control over my face to have the kinds of lip twitches that Chris has when Qian is thinking about Yuan’s care for him. They may have twenty seconds of silence on screen, but that does not mean the scene isn’t still in motion. There are so many little things happening in the span between San Pang’s comment about Yuan and his next reflection on sending Yuan away. 

“Xiao Yuan can’t bear to leave you alone,” Qian turns that over in his mind, to me it’s like he’s feeling the weight of it on his tongue, in his body. Qian looks up, and then around, and tosses the remote to the side, breathes heavily again. That feels like a begrudging acceptance of the statement. At the very least it is permission from Qian to proceed with the difficult conversation. 

“Before I had Yuan leave the country, I had been thinking I was doing the right thing for you two. But seriously, be honest, did you feel empty when Yuan was away?”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Qian blinks twice and we cut to a flashback of a lovely little isolated frame of Qian feeling Yuan’s absence. We cut back to a close up of Qian’s face and his lip twitches. Which I love because it feels like an involuntary admission. We know Qian, we know that boy is stubborn and stoic, that he muscles through all the pain, that he does not let many people see his weaknesses. San Pang asks Qian if he felt empty and Qian does. not. move. He holds exactly the same position, lounging on the couch with his hand behind his head like he is unmoved, unaffected by San Pang’s question. But that little twitch of his lip gives him away. San Pang has struck a nerve. San Pang has forced Qian to hold a spotlight to the feelings he’s been trying to numb for the last four years. 

“Let me tell you something. When Lili and I first got together,” 

I don’t know about anyone else, but I snorted at the way Qian turned his head to look at San Pang in warning. We still have not seen Qian approve of that relationship. And San Pang knows that he’s staring at the precipice of some truly hot water, which is why he follows up with a “hear me out.” 

Qian relaxes and once again turns to look away from San Pang. From San Pang’s position very little of Qian’s face is visible. So Qian keeps holding a position that will give San Pang as little of a chance of reading him as possible. 

“I’ve struggled too. I…I always wondered what happiness could I bring her? Was I doing the right thing? How could I face you? And then…I felt it wasn’t right. Life is too short.”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Again, I just have to say. CHRIS CHIU IS A PHENOMENAL ACTOR. He does not move a muscle, but you know Qian is locked in on what San Pang is saying because of how he moves his eyes. When San Pang says “life is too short” you can actually see the moment where Qian starts paying more attention to San Pang’s words, because he looks away from the TV and more downward in thought. 

“Getting hung up over it for years, would it be worth all the lost time?” 

Chris changes how he breathes here. You can see Qian take in a deep breath, but he holds it for a few seconds, he lets his nostrils flare, and then you see a large release of breath in the movement of Qian’s chest. This is really really getting to Qian. That nostril flare was not because he was breathing in. Because he’d already taken a breath. It was not because he was breathing out, because we see that happen a few seconds after the nostril flare, without his nose moving again. When Qian flares his nostrils, he is holding his breath, for a rather noticeable amount of time too. 

I love Chris because he embodies Qian so well, I can almost feel the way Qian is feeling internally in all the subtle little ways Chris plays with how Qian holds and releases tension and attention. 

“Who’s been good to me?”

Qian blinks twice, letting the question hit him, and only then does he finally release his breath. 

“Who put me before themselves?” 

San Pang looks at Qian after he finishes asking these hypothetical questions. But Qian is still looking ahead towards the TV, trying to come across as disengaged in the conversation as possible. And San Pang notices that, and that is why he continues to talk. Because Qian is hearing him, he’s listening and processing, but he isn’t engaged. He hasn’t put his body in to the conversation yet, he hasn’t responded to anything that San Pang has said to him. So San Pang keeps pushing. 

“A lot of things are only between you and Yuan. Unless you really have something against being with a guy, Yuan’s the only one who will be by your side, no matter what. Are you really not going to confront it?”

And I love that we pull away from that question to Qian looking like he is lying in a therapist’s chair. And Qian holds that position he has been maintaining throughout the conversation for a few seconds longer. The number of times he blinks the only indication that what San Pang has said is getting through and that Qian is mulling it all over. 

And only then, after San Pang has said all these things about Qian and Yuan’s relationship, in a way that is not judgemental or against the idea of these brothers becoming romantically involved. Only after San Pang has said that Yuan would be by Qian’s side no matter what does Qian set his jaw and push himself up in to a sitting position to continue the conversation. 

San Pang does not know what happened at Le’s gang beyond them being beaten up. So while it is highly likely that he is aware saying that Yuan would follow Qian anywhere is opening a can of worms, he does not understand how much ammunition he has just given Qian to talk about the danger that loving him too deeply has put Yuan in.

We do not give enough credit to film actors for maintaining continuity across scenes, because this man sits up and the first thing Chris has Qian do is massage the back of his head, where the pain of his blood clot sits. I could probably sit here all day trying to talk about all the little facial expressions he does as Qian sits up and starts preparing himself to be vulnerable with San Pang. But we can leave it as merely that. Qian is getting ready to talk to San Pang about some deeply personal stuff.

Personal stuff that Qian usually does not typically get in to. Like, San Pang says he knows what Qian went through, but I do not think he does. I do not think Qian has told him about the sexual assault, or San Pang would not have been trying to throw women at Qian. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“San Pang.” He pauses, and you can see the way he is still noodling, thinking about whether or not he wants to talk to San Pang about all this. And notably, he does not meet San Pang’s eye when he begins “Do you know…” Qian looks to the side, he frowns a little bit, he taps the palm of his hand against the top of the couch arm. It feels so childish and small of him in a way that really struck me. Qian is nervous, he is redirecting that energy in to his motions. In to the tapping, in to looking away, in to not having to reveal deep personal truths sitting that close to another soul. “Do you know what my biggest wish in life is? My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” 

Ohhhhhh how that breaks my heart. Qian has suffered so much, he has done so much, he has survived so much. If you were to ask me, I would bet that Qian has never been happy. He was forced at a very young age to take over the role of caregiver. He is both a brother and a father to Yuan and to Lili. And it is a testament to Qian’s love for his family, and the pain he is willing to put himself through that Lili is so bright and vibrant and naive about some of the workings of the world. I believe that Lili is happy. I believe that Qian has succeeded in at least that much. But that is not something he has had a chance to do. “Even if the world comes down, I’ll hold it up.” I have not forgotten that line from last episode. Qian would hold the world together if it meant ensuring his sister’s happiness. 

I do not know what it is, but there is something in the way Chris moves his mouth after he says “My biggest wish in life is for them to be happy,” that just absolutely destroys me, because he makes himself look like this is such a huge confession. 

“Mine is the same.” 

gif from @wanderlust-in-my-soul

“I just want them to grow up healthy and happy, because I’m their big brother.” Qian’s words become so breathy and he’s jabbing his finger straight in to the arm of the couch to drive home his point. These are the words that matter, this is the wish that matters. Qian’s feelings, Qian’s happiness have nothing to do with it. If he’s empty so be it, as long as his siblings are happy and healthy he will wound himself a thousand times over. His fucking face here, once again is just…When Qian takes in a breath, it is shaky. You can tell by the movement of his jaw, which looks like it is moving from side to side a little bit. As he approaches the end of his sentence, it feels like he is trying not to cry. 

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Yuan’s life might be summed up in two words: Wei Qian 

But Wei Qian’s life is summed up in five: 

Because I’m their big brother. 

“We grew up together. You think I don’t know how hard life’s been on you? But you know that Yuan’s feelings for you are different.” 

Qian looks away incredulously, and there is something else there too, I think. Something in the way that Qian’s eyebrows furrow, the way his mouth hangs open, the way he breathes out. I don’t know that he can really believe that this conversation is happening right now. That San Pang would let these words reach the light of day, that he would acknowledge them so openly, so matter-of-factly. 

“We’ve tried everything. We even sent him abroad for years. You were miserable every day. You love him and he loves you.”

We get more of Qian’s thinking face here as San Pang says these words, his mouth agape, his breath quickening, his eyes moving back and forth as he sorts through his own thoughts. 

But I need to acknowledge San Pang. He has such an intriguing connection to Qian and his family. San Pang has power of Qian, because his parents are Qian’s landlords. He and Qian have been best friends for a very long time, and even though I think it is true that San Pang likely knows the most about Qian’s life history, he does not know it all. He is still, in many facets of his life, acting like a kicked dog and backing down every time he tries to push back against Qian now that Qian knows that he and Lili are together. But when push comes to shove. When Qian’s happiness is impeded, when Qian’s health is at risk, he will tell Qian what Qian needs to hear. 

Whether or not Qian is truly having a hard time parsing through his feelings for Yuan doesn’t matter to me as much as Qian getting permission from multiple people to actually pursue the relationship. In acknowledging all of this, San Pang, the man who at one point told Yuan he could like anyone but Qian, the man that sent Yuan away for four years, is telling Qian that it is okay for Qian and Yuan to be together. He is the external judge that is finally accepting this taboo relationship, because he knows that if he does not show Qian that it is okay for him and Yuan to change from brothers to lovers, that neither Qian or Yuan will have any chance in hell of long term happiness. 

“Even if you’re not together, he’ll be sad to see you sad.” 

Off come Qian’s glasses. Shit is getting serious now. Qian rests his head on his hand, he looks away from San Pang. He really sits with it, you can see the emotions rising up in him, in the way he breathes, in the way his nostrils move, in the way his lips tremble for a second before he speaks. 

gif by @ueasking

“I’m scared, you know?” he turns to look at San Pang, and he sucks in a huge breath through his nose. It’s the first time we’ve seen him breathe so obviously that way throughout the entire scene. GOD, QIAN KILLS ME. 

“You haven’t even tried. What are you scared of?” 

And this is the fascinating thing for me, right? Outside of Yuan, San Pang is Qian’s best friend, but they do not have conversations like this that often. San Pang has tried time and again to start the more serious conversations, to act as an emotional support for Qian, but Qian brushes those conversations off as much as he can. San Pang knew the medical issues, he knows the history, he knows about the pieces of Qian’s life that Qian can’t hide. But he does not know everything, Qian does not usually let himself be this vulnerable with San Pang, hell he hasn’t even told San Pang everything that happened with Le’s gang. He’s about to, but that is only because he is trying to make a point. 

I think he is only having this conversation with San Pang, only admitting he is scared, and confused about his feelings for Yuan because he has literally no one else to talk to about it, and he’s starting to break down to the point that he can’t hold it all in by himself. And San Pang keeps pushing. 

“You know he went to find Le by himself that day?”

“I know.” 

“He was surrounded and beaten by six people, and in the end…”

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

He sucks in a breath. It takes him a moment to find the strength to form the words, so he forms a gun shape with his hand, which he points quickly a few times to fill the silence and the stillness in the room as he finds the shape of the admission on his tongue. He accentuates the severity of the memory with one final large motion. 

“...they pointed a gun at…” 

Ah, and there it is. The real reason behind Qian’s comment about wanting Lili and Yuan to be happy and healthy because he’s their big brother. Qian will not act on his feelings for Yuan, especially not right now because he is feeling guilty. Not just for sending Yuan away, not just because of the letter, but because Yuan’s unwavering loyalty, protectiveness, and love for Qian got Yuan hurt. Nearly got Yuan killed. Again. 

Qian’s whole world, his entire drive was shattered the day Yuan confessed, when Yuan told Qian that he was suffering. Yuan’s love for Qian was hurting him. But Qian just wants Yuan to be happy and healthy. The chance at having that world again was nearly destroyed with the realization that Yuan almost died abroad. His world was made complete again when Yuan returned home. And it was very nearly destroyed once more when Yuan walked in to that gang in hopes of protecting Qian. 

There is pain in witnessing the kind of love someone would die for. 

Qian can put himself in danger for the sake of his siblings, because from my perspective, Qian never thought his life had much worth. His formative years were filled with horrific abuse, assault under the guise of love, pain, suffering, doing terrible things just to survive. But this is all because he cannot see the forest through the trees, of the life that he has built, of the home that he has built, of the safety that he has built for his siblings. 

Yuan is not allowed to believe his life is less important than Qian’s because no one has ever thought that Qian’s life was more important than theirs. 

“Fuck, you- you’re telling me that now? Then, you…Right now, you…So, you’ve lost…”

Another quick shout out to San Pang, and moreso to the writing for San Pang that they don’t always let him have these brilliant speeches. He was able to navigate the beginning of this conversation because he knew mostly what he was walking in to, but with the reveal of Yuan and Qian’s near death experience, he is fumbling. 

The camera cuts back to Qian. I’d say Qian is listening to San Pang, but not fully present. Chris is doing so many things with his face in that moment. His nostrils are flaring, his lips are tightening like he’s trying to hold something back, he’s rocking his jaw from side to side. 

gif by @ueasking

“So, this isn’t a decision I can make so lightly.” He is almost crying now, he won’t cry, I think the only time we’ve seen him cry is when he was staring the prospect of Yuan’s death directly in the face during Russian Roulette and when he was hugging Yuan afterwards. But you can see the growing frustration and the threat of the tears very clearly on his face. Qian emphasizes the statement by once again jabbing his finger into the couch. 

“I have to consider the future.”  

“Do you want him to have a future without you?”

Let me tell y’all the way I collapsed under the weight of that question…it is no wonder Qian, notoriously quiet Qian, immediately shuts his mouth. I appreciate how much San Pang is willing to be the sacrificial lamb, because that is exactly the question that Qian needed to hear. That is exactly the reality that Qian, Yuan, Lili all face if Qian does not get his blood clot treated. A future without Qian in it. 

Qian needs to know exactly what he is doing to the people he loves by continuing to delay this medical treatment, but San Pang had to know that in asking it, it would only make Qian retreat back in to himself. Which is what Qian usually does. It was a miracle in it’s own right that San Pang was able to get Qian to voice this many of his concerns, to tell him the entire truth, to talk to him about the fear. 

gif by @ueasking

Qian closes his eyes, he lets the blow of the question absorb in to him, and he nods his head. Which, in my opinion, is a brilliant choice because the way he nods does not read to me as a confession that yes, Qian does want Yuan to have a future without him in it, and more so is an admission of defeat from Qian. But because we don’t get verbal confirmation either way, we do not, San Pang does not, Yuan does not get any confirmation one way or the other about what Qian is thinking. 

Qian just nods, lets the silence hang one moment longer, and kicks San Pang out. 

“Go home.” He says. But there is a more promising follow up “Let me think about it.” 

Which feels like the only thing Qian has really been doing for the last four years, but we’ve already established, that boy is about as moveable as a brick wall, and he and Yuan both serve to lose a lot if this goes wrong. 

And there you go @lurkingshan! 4103 words on the mouth twitch, nervous body language, and tears in this scene :D

[bengiyo]

Why Do I Tag So Many Creators in My Posts? It’s About Respect

Earlier today I was talking with @sophsloveskpop in the notes of a post, and was asked about all of the interaction between blogs in the posts and essays about the shows. I’ve noticed an uptick in new names interacting with posts (and making great posts of their own!) and wanted to talk about why I do it and why I like fandom on Tumblr.

Fundamentally, I think it’s generally good courtesy to acknowledge when someone else has expressed a similar idea to your, or an idea that intrigues you. I think it’s best to tag that person and link to their post so that others can also experience it. It also opens you up to a dialogue with them and others.

People Like Getting Their Flowers

If someone posts an analysis or even a quirky idea that I felt the need to think about, I will mention them in my posts. None of the great content we get on here is necessarily quick to make. I absolutely love all of the gifmakers who fight against Photoshop, Tumblr, and God Himself to post snippets of shows on here for us. I wouldn’t be able to flesh out some of my posts, illustrates points, or otherwise breakup walls of text without @liyazaki, @wanderlust-in-my-soul, @pharawee, or @gabrielokun. Whenever I can’t find the gif I’m looking for through Tumblr’s terrible gif search, I reach out to one of them for permission to use their gifs directly.

Also, many of us just like being acknowledged that someone we wrote meant something to someone else. Every time I get tagged by someone in an essay I’m like:

It’s a Conversation

I don’t think fandom is about being the smartest person or the most correct person. My basic framework I’m writing from is Black Gay Nerd Who Watches a Lot of Stuff. It’s what I’m most familiar with personally, and I find that people have really responded to that.

I’ve been around for a very long time, and have been seeing folks like @so-much-yet-to-learn around the entire time, who often has more specific information about fandom life during the airing of shows. @absolutebl and @heretherebedork have watched more BL than I have, and I’ve seen at least 250 productions. ABL has some of the most comprehensive posts collecting some of the history.

I made so many friends after diving into @shortpplfedup DMs to talk about sustainable urbanism and bonding over our shared geography. Now we run @the-conversation-pod together. Through them I befriended so many others, like @elnotwoods and @kyr-kun-chan.

I’m not a color theory expert, and so I love reading posts from @respectthepetty and others (I think @sliceduplife writes about color too).

We wouldn't even have my favorite show without @isaksbestpillow.

I know what shows are coming because of @clairificusrex.

I don’t know much about music theory, but @iguessitsjustme write some great stuff about the music in these shows.

I don’t always read the body language of hands as closely as someone like @wen-kexing-apologist might.

I am not Asian, and so I like reading from @waitmyturtles, @telomeke-bbs, and @neuroticbookworm. I know that @recentadultburnout and @airenyah offer useful perspective on Thai language.

Sometimes folks are going to narrow down on specific shows and consistently write about them for years on side blogs like @miscellar.

Some people have studied so much and bring specific academic lenses to the genre that I find compelling, like @emotionallychargedtowel.

In many cases, I just vibe with them really hard, like @ginnymoonbeam.

I actually didn’t always post as much as I do, but I try to keep up my Stray Thoughts project so that people can keep track of what I’m watching. I used to write less meta, but then I befriended @waitmyturtles and @lurkingshan. Any time I say anything remotely thoughtful Shan is like:

Also, though, this is Tumblr! It’s easy to tag each other and link to each other’s posts! This is what makes us different from every

Isn’t It Just More Fun?

I don’t enjoy shows passively. I grew up in a family that watched things together. My mom, dad, sister, and I all have differing tastes from each other, but we watched a lot of different things together. My friends and I discussed the things we watched at school.

I’m a big fan of the water cooler approach to TV show distribution, which basically says you want your show to be the show people are talking about on their breaks at work. I always like Film Crit Hulk’s theory that movies (and our dramas) are the proverbial campfires around which we gather to share ourselves with each other.

This is all supposed to be fun, and I have more fun when we interact. I get tagged daily by @blmpff about updates from sets, or when we all need to rush to IG to make sure Fluke Pongsakorn doesn’t cut his hair. When @bl-bam-beyond makes a new set or post they let me know, and they recently rewatched Noah’s Arc! I made friends with @gillianthecat in the last year or so, and it’s been fun seeing her make her way through fandom. I always get excited with @troubled-mind pings me in a post because I know it’s going to give me something to chew on. I didn’t have a genuine appreciation for kink culture until I watched along with @lutawolf. If something funny is happening in fandom I know @benkaaoi is going to tag me. I still get excited when @heukheuk pops up in my mentions.

I know I’ve probably forgotten so many people alone the way here, and I’m sorry if I didn’t mention you.

Tag Because It’s the Right Thing to Do

So seriously, tag people and link to their posts. Try to use the giffmakers specific tags when you’re using the search feature. Fandom is better when we all interact respectfully and enthusiastically with each other. Tumblr is special because it lets us create goofy little essays like this and tag dozens of people just to get their attention.

If you have a cool thought about a show I’m watching, tag me. If you see something funny, tag me in the comments. If you wanna hash out an idea before posting it, DM me. This is Tumblr. Don’t be shy with your thoughts. It’s okay to be wrong on the internet. It’s actually fun to be wrong on the internet about show predictions!

Thank you as always for coming to my post.

[bl-bam-beyond]

LOVE IN TRANSLATION (2023, THAILAND)

Episode 5

After Yang (PITTAYA SAECHUA aka DAOU) kissed him, Phumjai (KANTAPON JINDATAWEEPHOL aka OFFROAD) ran away for a conversation with his friends.

However that night before he could turn off his brain and go to sleep he revisited his date with Yang (the practice date)

His feelings unclear he decides to sleep but the next morning his nerves were as fresh and new as the day it all happened. Lingering in the parking lot of the supermarket business he shares with Yang he could not go in. Until his friend and co-worker/employee/his older brother's secret boyfriend Tag ushers him in. Where he soon comes face to face with "Phi Yang"

@pose4photoml @lutawolf @wanderlust-in-my-soul

[i-got-the-feels]

It's 2023!

Its officially been one year since I started making and posting stuff and talking to people on tumblr. And here are the few people who made this hellsite not so hellish with their kindness, talent, sense of humor, friendship and acceptance with which you guys made a safe space for me.

@morathicain @ommited-miscellaneously @dangermagnetstrand @omarandjohnny @snimeat @gooseras @tians-heart @dimpledpran @liyazaki @gooseras @isvisomewhere @ardentlytess @oswlld @talays-portkey @sotaaoki @smittenskitten @nanons @natahjikio @boysbeloving @seawherethesunsets @stillqueerstillhere @prapais @youdontloveme-yet @daikunart @super-powerful-queen-slayyna @surajmukhis @domsaysstuff @wanderlust-in-my-soul @moonlightsdream @guzhu-furen @lanzhans @laowen @junghaesin @namchyoon @dusiks @pharawee @moonlightchicken @billlkin @ashinlae @fitfmybeloved @pannakorn @hidden-joy @leedongwook @koreandragon @freensrcha @bisexualhedgehog @catboypranparakulisaro @benkaaoi @baijingting @bellepark

I thank you guys for filling my 2022 with kindness and love and I hope 2023 is kind to you guys as well :) I wish I could tag you guys but the tag limit sucks </3

And to my moots I interacted only once with or with whom I haven't interacted because I was awkward to begin a conversation or perhaps yall were shy, please know your presence made me smile :)

[finleycannotdraw]

So yesterday you and another person were shouting about Pruning Sheers by the Amazing Devil and after reading through all the analysis I figured I had to listen to it and it's??? Absolutely incredible??? Your posts about this band have been on my dash for months but this is the first of their songs I actually listened to and it was really good so I was wondering if you had other suggestions for songs by them I should listen to?

oh that’s so nice to hear!!! I’m so glad I could spread awareness of this band and their awesome music, and I appreciate you reaching out! :)

they’ve only got 27 songs (3 albums) so I’d honestly recommend all of them, but to start out I’d definitely go with… (I feel like I’m gonna rec too many shgjsn) (two from each album how about) (but I definitely recommend listening to all of the albums all the way through if you feel up for that at any point)

New York Torch Song (the first minute is much slower than the rest of the song, fyi) listen for all of the rhymes in the second verse, they make my soul ascend. The vocalizations and instrumentals go so well together and I absolutely love singing this one.

Not Yet/Love Run (Reprise), okay so this is one of my all time favorite songs ever. It’s 8 minutes long, could be considered two songs in one, and has every single human emotion. I can’t even begin to talk about it. The changes between lyrics and verses and between Madeleine and Joey’s parts are seamless, some of the overlapping words make my heart sob (“how she’d howl she’d -hold my hand as you shook in the middle of the night”) and later on some of the most delicious rhymes you will ever hear.

The Horror and the Wild, I love the power of this one, it’s the first amazing devil song I heard so I’ve got a soft spot for it. It’s got really powerful instruments and some places where Joey’s vocals get growly and some AMAZING lyrics (my favorites being “you’re the words that I promise I don’t mean” and “give me back my heart, you wingless thing”)

Farewell Wanderlust, this one has transgender feelings but it’s also just Such a good song about growing as a person, has excellent instrumentals, and is a top-notch sing along song. (“This here is not singing I’m just screaming in tune” and “take a good long look at what you’ve all done to me” are my favorite lyrics to scream-sing). Both Madeleine and Joey sing in this song, albeit separately, and it’s absolutely brilliant.

Chords, this one makes me SOB because it’s a conversation between two parents as their kids grow up and leave home. I’m picking this one over some of the other songs on Ruin (the album) because you liked Pruning Shears, and this one has a similar conversational style with both voices overlapping. Again it makes me cry very hard so be warned

The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace just trust me you are not prepared for this song. It’s another 8 minute one (sorry abt that if you don’t like longer songs) and the first three-ish minutes are very soft and THEN. and then. your soul will leave your body. it has AMAZING instrumentals and Joey’s voice in the last ~five minutes will kill me. the first time I heard this song I sat there doing this:

(yes I just scribbled that on my phone shhhhhhhh)

anyway, thanks again for reaching out!! please tell me what you think of the songs. :)

[aces-and-kings]

Come to My Window

The soft morning light filtered through the dusty windows of The Hourglass, casting a warm glow upon the wooden shelves that held countless treasures, books of every size, color, and genre. Alex stood amidst the hushed whispers of literature, readying the bookshop for the day ahead. With practiced care, he placed books back on their rightful shelves, ensuring each one found its proper place.

The aroma of freshly baked pastries wafted through the air, a delightful accompaniment to the symphony of rustling pages. He'd risen early that morning to prepare the treats, an offering to the eager readers who would soon grace his sanctuary, temporarily calling it their own.

As he arranged the treats on a delicate silver tray, his fingers brushed against the heart-shaped birthmark on his upper left cheek - his unique identifier. It was a reminder of the love he had for the written word and the warmth he wished to extend to everyone who crossed his path.

With the final touches in place, the bookshop was ready to welcome its visitors. Alex took a moment to savor the tranquility before unlocking the front door, inviting the world to step into the refuge of stories and imagination he had lovingly crafted.

Once the first customers trickled in, he greeted them with a genuine smile and engaged in animated conversations about books, authors, and the magic of storytelling. It was evident that Alex was in his element, as the bookshop came alive with the energy of literary enthusiasts.

As the morning bustle settled into a steady rhythm, he stole a moment to himself, pouring a steaming cup of coffee, the comforting aroma enveloping him like a familiar embrace. With the warm mug cradled in his hands, he settled into a cozy chair by the window.

Opening the pages of a well-worn novel, he delve into a world of fantastical adventures and courageous characters. The words transporting him far beyond the boundaries of Ishgard, and for a while, he was lost in the magic of the written word.

Yet, a soft sigh escaped his lips as he glanced out of the window, his gaze drifting beyond the bustling streets and the horizon beyond. He couldn't help but wonder about his friends, scattered across the realm, each on their own unique journey. He hoped they were safe and well, and a twinge of longing tugged at his heart, wishing he could be with them in that moment.

As if in response to his silent musings, the wind outside began to pick up. Alex knew that his own adventures awaited him beyond the confines of his beloved bookshop, and he embraced the wanderlust moments that always tugged at his soul.

But for now, he was content with the gentle shuffling of books, the scent of coffee, and the soft murmur of customers lost in their own selections.

With a wistful smile Alex rose to greet the next bustling crowd pouring in from the bitter cold. Pondering would have to wait.

[poohbea]

🚨Pair your moots with a weeknd song!!🚨

Anon I love you for this because A WEEKND SONG?? OOOUUUU BABY here we gooooo:

@festive ─ secrets ☆ it's a bop and i just thought of you when i heard it

@okhotel ─ wicked games ☆ your favourite and it's that slow sensual type vibe

@kazuwhora ─ reminder ☆ you're unforgettable and always remind these bitches just who KC is

@sinssoul ─ love in the sky ☆ soft, sexy, i think i imagined your face when i picked this song, specifically your lips

@dejwrites ─ loft music ☆ this is just a whole mood and it's a dej mood

@satorhime ─ call out my name ☆ that tragic but romantic kinda love, it speaks to the soul like you do to me

@sailewhoremoon ─ the morning ☆ i can imagine you singing this at the top of your lungs to sasuke idk why

@heartsfrommars (wifey) ─ die for you ☆ because i'd die for you baby

@hellavile ─ house of balloons/glass tables girls ☆ you the official glass table gurl, we knew this already

@eiflawriting ─ out of time ☆ this reminds me of those old school rnb classics and when i saw a picture of you i was reminded of those 90's beauties

@lawscorazon ─ coming down ☆ it’s probably your name, ares, and I imagine you dancing around the house drunk tryna get into law’s draws when this song come on 😭

@koucaine ─ often ☆ lumiii, this one for me was just what i imagined when i talk to you, it's the aura i feel through my phone everytime we converse

@yoshimurah ─ angel ☆ cause you my angel

@maydayaisha ─ false alarm ☆ this is such a badass song, and it's just got baddie aisha written all over it

@blueparadis ─ try me☆ idk why this spoke to me as much as it did, but something told me this one was the one

@snake-titan ─ moth to a flame ☆ the vibe was vibing with this one, don't ask me why but it had your name written all over it

@venusflytrapstar ─ pretty ☆ when i think of you i think 'pretty baby' maybe it's the bimbo theme you got going on or it's the pink but this is what came to mind

@oxygenstarrved ─ here we go again ☆ the beat is soft and when i think of you i think of someone sweet and soft

@thetempleofnyx ─ after hours ☆ dark vibes just like your name sake

@6kugo ─ wanderlust ☆ you're always thinking up new concepts and brainstorming with me so this was only fitting

@getoswhore ─ kiss land ☆ it's sexy like you and geto would love to see you dancing to this song, also it matches your visual (like what you look like, to me at least)

@shadowsorceress ─ nothing compares - bonus track ☆ when you left no one compared to sae when it came to geto love

@chrissshub ─ the party and the after party ☆ i thought of you with the ending in mind, it's sensual and i think it's your page that influenced me into viewing you as a sensual person

[fionayiyang]

Anger, rage, and the unspoken pains of women

I was once the most understanding person that I had known of. I could understand almost everyone, including those who were hurtful towards me. Somehow I could see their struggles clearly and feel their pains too. I thought they must have been living in pains and aware of their pains, otherwise how could they impose so much pain onto me?

So with an understanding and loving heart, I would subconsciously take on their pains by carefully navigate around them so as to protect their fragile ego, until one day I was drowning and dying yet still blamed for not understanding the pains that they didn't even put in the work to deal with. I was the one being abandoned, and yet they blamed me for abandoning them...

And that was the moment when I could not keep on giving out my understanding for free anymore -- the anger and rage within me rose above the once peaceful water with a roaring earthquake and became hills and mountains in plain sight.

There, I was scattered and yet back to life, again.

I thought I was an understanding person by nature until I was reminded by my long-hidden anger that it was never my choice in the first place.

I was raised as an understanding daughter. And I chose to be an understanding girlfriend because I did not know any other way around. I fed off being complimented as a kind person, a loving person, an understanding person, as if my whole identify was built around being "GOOD".

I was molded into being "GOOD" by my mom, by family, by boyfriends, by the society. I did not know whom else I could be but for being "GOOD". And when I was not "GOOD", I was blamed by the ones who were closest to me for being "ungrateful", "fake", you name it. And I took that pain deeply as if my whole being was denied, as if there's only one tiny box in the world that I was expected to fit into and yet I failed.

O.M.G... That was the end of the world! There must had been something seriously wrong within me that I could fix and improve. There must be a way for me to find a way back into that little box. There must be a way to persuade those who were close to me back into loving and accepting me again... Hurry, Fiona, think, reflect, what else that you could do to please those people and redeem your imperfect soul. Think, Fiona, Think!!!

...

But wait, who's speaking?

I don't even like being in that box. All I was doing was pretending that I enjoyed being inside of that box and being given the opportunity to be in that box, because that's what a good girl does, right? She shall always be grateful, be understanding, and be perfect to live up to others' expectations right?

I had played that persona for so long and yet I had always known from within that, it was not the whole story of me. And it was not even the storyline that I chose for myself. I had never asked myself to be perfect and I would stress out from the pressure of being perfect. Instead, I have always been in love with the complexity and multi-dimension of my personalities and capabilities.

I enjoy my solitude by reading and walking in the nature. Yet I also love going out and meeting new people. I love having deep and philosophical conversations with close friends. Yet I also love just being the life of a party. I could take care of everyone on my team and deliver top-notch results through meticulous plans and yet I also enjoy wanderlust and seeing where life brings me too. I love drunk singing pop songs in karaoke with friends as much as I enjoy listening to symphonies and being moved to tears by classical music.

I have always been more than just one thing. And I HATE being labeled as just one thing.

Why do we even attempt to give forms to the vibrant and dynamic lives when our cognitive brains are so limited with pale words. Life is abundant, beautiful, wild, exuberant, and a true gift. It is to be whole-heartedly savored and appreciated. And it would be such a waste to be limited by fears, ours or others'.

[the-littlest-kojin]

As Shio is so well-travelled and has such an interest in immersing herself in new cultures, I was wondering how she feels about people who are more anchored to their place of origin?

Does she find it difficult to relate to someone who has never travelled far from where they were born? Is there a part of her which sees them as parochial or limited in their outlook? Has she any experience of such people being more narrow-minded or limited in their perspectives? Is it important for Shio that the people around her are cosmopolitan and open to new experiences?

Conversely, does she see a value in a sense of place and community? Is there something to be admired - or at least acknowledged - when it comes to people who live all their lives in one place and one community and dedicate their lives to it? And, as someone interested in different cultures and societies, does she consider these more insular communities to be purer examples of a particular culture than those which are more diluted by foreign influences?

This has been sitting in my ask box for a LONG TIME.

I am sorry.

However, you've waited nearly a year for this Shio ramble, so let's get rambling.

Shio has... complicated thoughts on those who are more geographically anchored than she is. While she definitely feels that her life has been (mostly) enriched by travel, she is on some level convinced that she would have been happier if she stayed in Tamamizu.

(Nonsense, Bunchin would say. Shio has wanderlust in her soul, and she cannot settle down in any one location - not because of any grand purpose or coercive workplaces, but just because she herself is incapable of it.)

Shio considers the best part of her life to be the chance to go and see how these people live in their own little corners of the world. To view them, and learn from them. To aid them, and to be enriched by them.

They are limited in their outlooks in her eyes, but she is fully willing to admit she is too. If she can learn from them, and they can learn from her, then mayhap they will both be better for it?

In her experience, the peoples who consider themself more "worldly" but still have not travelled - the ones who have the world brought to them on silvered platters - they are the ones who are most likely to be narrow-minded and judgemental about what exists over the next horizon.

There is immense value in a community - it would be rather hypocritical for Shio Shinju, Kojin of the Blue, to assert otherwise - and she definitely does respect, admire, and envy those who are able to settle down in their own lives and their own places.

As for whether or not those cultures are somehow "purer", she would be disgusted by the very question.

One Kojin is not more pure than two, two not less than a tribe, a tribe not less than the Ruby Sea, and so on, and so on, until you are looking at the entire star in your mind. Just as pure as one Kojin, just as valid. Form, ideology, faction, tribe - it all matters not.

The Kami are in all.

[the-unending-journey]

I wanna ramble a little about Kiyo's Azem. Gonna put it under a readmore just in case

So first and foremost, her Azem's true name was Panacea. I named her after the Greek goddess of universal remedy, because I try to keep with the fact that Kiyo herself is a healer through and through

While Panacea was no stranger to creating concepts like her other Ancient peers, she mostly focused on the aspect of healing and medicine, and trying to find new and better ways to apply these things. She especially focused her energy on figuring out ways to help concepts in this manner, where others would generally just destroy and remake them. Panacea never liked that and honestly shared a love for these creatures much like Hermes did

Unlike Kiyo, Panacea was a very bright and jovial woman that had no qualms about socializing, and often brought a warm energy into whatever space she pushed herself into. It was hard to be sullen around her... well, unless you were Hades. She even managed to get Hermes to smile every so often, which she often made a point to try to get out of him anytime she visited Elpis

However, much like her shattered self, Panacea was also a kind and gentle soul and never really liked getting into conflicts if she could help it. Though, she never backed down from them either, especially if it meant saving others, and especially those that couldn't save themselves. She also had an insatiable wanderlust and loved exploring the star, collecting knowledge for her medicinal studies and meeting all the interesting inhabitants she came across. If you asked her to tell you stories of her travels, this woman would be more than happy to talk your ears off about them

While she loved books and the knowledge and stories they held, Panacea really preferred living these things and finding her own knowledge and tales out in the world. That's why she didn't hesitate to take up the seat of Azem when Venat offered it to her, though she still felt she could never really live up to her dear friend she looked up to and admired

The relationship between her and Hades was much like an exasperated older brother with a reckless and energetic younger sister. One time he made some snide comment about how Panacea only ever made "childish" (cute) concepts, like proto-karakuls and such, so she made proto-Morbols out of spite (but also because she wanted to try and make new medicines from these creatures... that didn't work out too well). He was actually the one that introduced her to Hythlodaeus, which he claims to have regretted since the two hit it off really well and ended getting married (bonded? idk... in my headcanon the ancients had a more archaic thing for marriage). He was secretly happy for both of his dear friends, even despite his headaches doubling from Panacea's antics and Hyth constantly encouraging them

When Kiyo was a very, VERY small child, she could see the little sliver of Panacea's soul that was still intact within her own. Kiyo's little kid brain chalked this up to simply being an imaginary friend that she often would speak to. When Ardbert's soul merged with hers, Panacea's presence actually became even stronger and Kiyo still does converse with her from time to time. It's truly an odd existence to speak to one's past life, but the Warrior of Light's life is definitely anything but normal

One last little bit - while physically they obviously look very different, Panacea and Kiyo share the same eye color. That's one of the other things that Hyth immediately recognized other than her soul's energy

[wen-kexing-apologist]

Unknown Ep 7 Brain Rot Moments

First of all, this show is incredible. 

Second of all, I haven’t stopped thinking about certain parts of this episode and that means I want to write about them. But I have absolutely no idea what there is to say besides “!!!!!!” 

So I guess here are the small movements of the episode I cannot get over:

The way Qian’s hand hits the couch and bounces on to his lap when San Pang asks him if he has feelings for Yuan. And I honestly can’t tell how much of what I love about it comes from the motion itself, this loss of strength that drops his arm limp beside him when faced with such a question, or if it is the sound of his hand hitting the couch that really sells it for me. The sound when Qian’s hand hits the couch is short and sharp and for some reason that noise feels like an answer to me. Especially because it is followed by silence from Qian. For me, Qian’s hand hitting the couch is his admission.

I don’t think this line was an intentional call back to last week’s episode and it certainly isn’t structured for peak emotional impact, but that does not mean that hearing San Pang tell Qian to stand straight didn’t immediately give me war flashbacks to Qian telling Yuan to stand straight in the midst of Yuan’s confession in Episode 6

Just so many parts of the phone call, probably like all of the phone call scene is just gonna be burnt in to my skull for a considerable time, but especially the way Chris is so legible in expressing Qian’s hesitation, and the way that Kurt is so legible in expressing Yuan’s desperation. I loved the initial panic of Qian feeling the weight of what he was about to do and trying to bail out, the way that Yuan immediately calls him back because he is not going to let this opportunity sneak past, the way that Qian is breathing, how tense he is, how much he has to breathe to steady himself, to mentally prepare to answer the phone and have this conversation.

gifs by @ueasking

How tiny Yuan’s voice is, contrasted with how big his eyes are when he says hello because he can’t believe that this is actually happening. 

How awkward Qian is here, this may perhaps be the most awkward I have seen Qian act. There is so much uncertainty in this conversation with him, the way he has to pull the “how have you been?” question out of his own head, the way he chews his lip as he listens to Yuan’s life updates.

The way Yuan’s lower jaw moves when he is desperately trying to find other topics of conversation, other questions he can ask Qian to keep this conversation going longer. The way that his silence goes on just long enough for Qian to get the “anything else?” question out. The way his jaw moves and his eyes widen and he leans forward when Qian says “bye bye.” It’s exactly the type of reaction I would see from someone trying to physically reach out to someone that is just beyond their grasp. He can’t yell wait to a dial tone.

gif by @ueasking

The way Qian starts to notice Yuan. He fully has not see his face at this point, he hasn’t heard his voice, or his name. But he is staring at Yuan’s shoes with his mouth slightly agape, because he recognizes them.

The way his eyes eventually work their way up in his disbelief, to look at Yuan’s head. The way that he immediately reaches out to Yuan, puts his hand on Yuan’s shoulder. It makes me think about how much Qian wants to, needs to be connected to Yuan. Because the time between when he figures out who is standing in front of him and placing a hand on his shoulder is near instantaneous.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

Following that, the way Yuan slides Qian’s hand off of his shoulder when he is talking with the businessmen. I do not know what it is about that moment, but considering the preview for Episode 8, it feels very in keeping with a character that is playing hard to get. Even if that isn’t the case here, in front of all of these coworkers is definitely not the place for intimate touching between brothers.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I am also thinking about how that does not dissuade Qian, who then reaches straight for Yuan’s neck. Something tells me these side of the neck/side of the face touches are not platonic or brotherly… but I regardless I appreciate the way that Unknown affirms Qian’s reciprocated feelings for Yuan by having him be the one initiating a lot of physical contact after barely being around much less touching people. I think the only time we see Qian initiate physical contact before Yuan’s return is when he grabs San Pang’s arm to stop him from contacting Yuan.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way that Yuan cares for Qian once they are in the taxi and heading home, the gentle removal of Qian’s glasses, tucking Qian’s tie in to his left pocket, right over his heart. The way that the tie sticks up just a bit so you can see a piece of Qian poking through

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

The way Qian does not resist at all when Yuan reaches over and slips his arm behind Qian’s neck. The way that Qian lets himself slide further and further until his head is resting against Yuan’s shoulder. Yuan did not pull Qian down, Yuan didn’t push, Qian fully moved THE WAY YUAN RUBS HIS THUMB AGAINST QIAN’S UPPER ARM.

gif by @aejeonghae

The way Yuan breathes in this scene to regulate himself because a lot has just happened, because Qian is Right There, because Qian reached out, because Qian is touching him, because he is back home after four years with a lot of uncertainty hanging in the air.

gif by @wanderlust-in-my-soul

I don’t know about anyone else, but I will be thinking about Yuan putting his hand around Qian’s waist as Qian walks towards the bed. This is an entirely unnecessary action from a movement standpoint as in Qian is able to walk on his own, and Yuan slides this hand to settle at Qian’s waist as they walk, so he isn’t using it as a way to support or steer Qian. That feels like a stolen moment for Yuan, and opportunity for him to hold Qian in ways he has wanted to.

The massage Qian is getting from both Lili and Yuan, this is such an interesting moment for me because it places Yuan’s action here firmly in the familial, siblings category since he and Lili are performing the exact same action. And not only that but they are bickering like siblings do while they massage Qian’s shoulders. Unknown does not and will not stop reminding its audience what this story is about, who this romance is between. Yuan being adopted, Yuan being sent away for four years does not make Yuan any less of a brother to Qian or Lili. They did this earlier in the taxi too, Yuan tells the businessmen that Qian is his brother, Qian tells the businessmen Yuan is his little brother. The time and the distance has not changed how they view each other, they do not lie about the nature of their relationship to one another. There is no fresh start here.

THE EYEBROW QUIRK. GOD I THINK THIS IS MY FAVORITE MOMENT OF THE EPISODE. I literally cannot even explain why, I could not tell you what Qian is reacting to here. Personally I think it is an attraction to Yuan thing, that it’s as much of an admission of his feelings for Yuan as the sound of his hand hitting the couch was.

This tired, but genuinely happy smile, dimple and all, hearing Lili and Yuan bickering in the hallway. Yuan and Lili are here. Yuan and Lili are being ridiculous. Yuan and Lili have fallen right back in to their dynamic despite the time apart. Everything is as it should be. Yuan is here. Everything is going to change. Yuan is here. Yuan is here. Yuan is here.

gif by @ueasking

I have said it before and I will say it again that I am not a fan of incest plotlines, I especially have a lot of qualms around romantic and sexual relationships between adoptive siblings, partially because I think it undercuts the fact that they are family. It bothered me in The Fosters, it overwhelmingly bothers me in Umbrella Academy, it bothers me when “we may actually be related” plotlines are added to things (looking at you Shadowhunters series). I recognize a pattern with the ones that I hate being all heterosexual relationships, and I think some of that hatred stems from the fact that a lot of these plots exist because there aren’t enough women in those stories. 

I find it interesting that I had no problems with Ai Di and Chen Yi in Kiseki: Dear to Me because we never see them being raised together and thus there is a massive separation. And I currently don’t have any problems with Qian and Yuan inevitably getting together, for precisely the opposite reason. Unknown has really put the time and effort into showing the dynamics, into building the childhood, in to seeing where these characters came from, into turning these characters into siblings. Yuan understands from the beginning why he should not confess to Qian. Qian reacts to Yuan’s confession in a way I think is realistic. They have four years of no contact, they have four years to reflect on what happened that day, how they feel about each other. They have four years to see what life is like without the other person there, if they can survive it. And Qian cannot. 

But Unknown is not going to let us forget that these are brothers. San Pang knows it is wrong but doesn’t have the words to express it. His aparpent relationship to Lili will serve as an interesting parallel to Qian and Yuan’s relationship because San Pang considers them all family, considers Qian his brother, and yet here he is dating a member of that family. Idk I guess I just feel like they are handling the contents of this show very well, and I am going feral for the physicality of these actors. 

[missleheja]

Title: Finding Beauty in Everyday Moments

Hey, Tumblr fam! Today, let's take a moment to appreciate the beauty that surrounds us in the simplest of things. Life moves at lightning speed, and sometimes we forget to pause and soak in the magic that exists in our everyday moments. So, let's dive right in and embrace the extraordinary in the ordinary!

1. Morning Brews and Sunlit Views: There's something enchanting about that first sip of coffee or tea in the morning. As the warm liquid dances on our taste buds, take a moment to bask in the golden sunlight streaming through your window. It's in these small rituals that the world awakens, and inspiration finds its way.

2. Wanderlust Whispers: Who says adventure is only found in far-off lands? Take a detour on your way home, explore a hidden corner of your neighborhood, or simply lose yourself in the pages of a book. There's a world waiting to be discovered, even in the familiar.

3. Melodies that Move Us: Music has the power to transport us to different realms. Put on your favorite tunes, close your eyes, and let the melodies guide your imagination. Whether it's a heartfelt ballad or a catchy beat, allow the music to paint vivid landscapes within your mind.

4. Conversations & Connections: Engage in meaningful conversations with loved ones and strangers alike. Listen intently to their stories, perspectives, and dreams. It's in these exchanges that we uncover the profound beauty of human connection.

5. Nature's Symphony: Step outside and let nature serenade your senses. The rustling leaves, chirping birds, or gentle waves crashing against the shore – each sound holds a symphony of its own. Take a deep breath, feel the earth beneath your feet, and reconnect with the natural world around you.

6. Random Acts of Kindness: Spread a little joy by performing small acts of kindness. Hold the door open for someone, compliment a stranger, or lend a helping hand. It's in these selfless gestures that we witness the beauty of humanity shining brightly.

Remember, my friends, beauty lies not only in grand gestures but also in the quiet moments that make up our lives. Let's cultivate a mindset of gratitude and seek out the extraordinary within the ordinary. Embrace the beauty in everyday moments, for they hold the power to ignite our souls and inspire us beyond measure.

Stay curious, stay open, and keep sharing your unique perspectives with the world. Sending you all a virtual hug of creativity and positivity. Keep shining, Tumblr fam! ✨

[milkwaydreams]

I posted 334 times in 2022

That's 334 more posts than 2021!

13 posts created (4%)

321 posts reblogged (96%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@nanons

@team-win

@wuxyings

@gunsatthaphan

@scoupsy

I tagged 12 of my posts in 2022

#kpop - 6 posts

#haechan - 3 posts

#nct - 3 posts

#renjun - 3 posts

#jaemin - 3 posts

#chenle - 3 posts

#kinnporsche - 3 posts

#mark lee - 3 posts

#taeyong - 2 posts

#doyoung - 2 posts

Longest Tag: 91 characters

#i just know the one of them is kidnapped out of nowhere and they fall in love for no reason

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Okay, I didn't know it was possible but, I just fell in love with Seventeen... AGAIN!!

FOR GOD'S SAKE, THEY ARE ALREADY MY ULT. WHAT MORE THEY WANT FROM ME???!!

I WILL GIVE EVERYTHING FOR THEM ANYWAY

Everyone looks SOOO GOOD this era. MINGHAO????!!!!!!! DK???!!! SCOUPS LONG HAIR??!!! LIKE.... OMG. HELP.

I was down the hole day and now, I'm so happy. This is the effect Seventeen has on me. Thank you boys, for everything 😭😭😭😭❤️❤️❤️❤️

See the full post

7 notes - Posted May 27, 2022

#4

Is it possible to be bias wrecked by your own bias??!!

LEE TAEYONG, GO EASY ON ME BOY!

I'M YOUR WEAKEST SOLDIER 🥵🥵🥵

and the plaque behind does say "caution"...

12 notes - Posted October 23, 2022

#3

I must say: wow. WHAT A MENTAL BREAKDOWN I HAD KINNPORSCHE. THANK YOU 😭😭😭😭

VegasPete BREAKING ME DOWN WITH THEN... I can't... How am I going to survive now??

I was getting really mad thinking that Vegas died, I was like "What? Really? Don't do this to me production crew. Please don't...", but, after that post credits scene... I forgive you for everything 🤣🤣🤣

IT WAS SO FREAKING CUTE. OMG... I can't even talk about how much I loved that scene. Macau being cute with his brother, oh my God. And I can't stop thinking about the conversations that Macau and Pete had while Vegas was sleeping. That "That was fast" from Macau, got me thinking they plotted making Vegas act cute AND I LOVED IT 😭😭😭😭

Also, so sad we didn't get a proper ending to KimChay🥺🥺🥺

But... THAT SCENE OF KIM PROTECTING CHAY🥵🥵🥵🥵 AS IF I WASN'T ALREADY IN LOVE WITH JEFF ENOUGH🤣🤣🤣

I couldn't stop smiling and giggling the whole scene🤣🤣🙈🙈🙈

There's still so many things to unveil. I really hope to get a second season 🥺🥺

13 notes - Posted July 10, 2022

#2

~BL/GL TAG GAME~

I was tagged by @wanderlust-in-my-soul 😍

Your all time favorite bl character and why?

Wow, there are some.

I have to say Intouch (UWMA) because I love his determination. He says "That boy is gonna be mine" and he gets the boy. I love him for it.

Also Ram (My Engineer) because I loove his personality. I see myself in him a little bit. He only talks to who he wants to and when he wants and I think that's so funny🤣. He also love animals and is afraid of kids just like me so.. 🤣🤣

What’s your one character from a bl you wanted to punt into the stratosphere (you only get one so choose wisely).

Humm... I know that I should choose only one but, Korn and Intouch's (UWMA) fathers for OBVIOUS reasons🤬

Or Llong (TharnType) because, Tharn and Type are toxic to each other A LOT, but, Llong was going to KILL Type if their friends didn't stopped him and, he literally hire some guys to RAPE a completely innocent person just because he was dating Tharn.

The best music moment from a bl.

I guess, Sarawat (2gether) singing "Tine" in the last episode. Or Korn and Win (Cupid's Last Wish) COMPLETELY high singing and dancing like they were recording a MV in the middle of nowhere 🤣🤣

What’s a popular heterosexual text that you would like to see adapted into a bl/gl?

I would love to see a BL version of Boys Over Flowers (or F4 Thailand, or Meteor Garden. You get it). Not exactly a "text" but, I thought about it while seeing F4 Thailand on air "It's always the same. It would be amazing if it ended up being a BL in the end" 🤣🤣🤣

A scene from a bl that always makes you laugh.

The last RamKing (My Engineer) scene where King thinks Ram was drunk and didn't remember their kiss, but Ram didn't drink at all🤣🤣

Also, that one when Saifah and Zon (Why R U?) wakes up cuddling to it other and Zon starts saying nonsense like "Did you used condom? Am I gonna get pregnant?" 🤣🤣🤣 I Love this scene🤣🤣

Biggest disappointment.

Enchanté. The first episode was really cute, but then, I don't know what happened. I loved the whole "Find the Enchanté" thing just to be the own Theo who wrote it because he wanted Akk's attention... And that last episode, what was that? Out of nowhere, after doing all that book scene to get Akk, he's leaving just like that?! And Akk's sister saying those things to him??? That's her way of helping?? Really disappointed.

And I have to mention Cutie Pie. It's not bad, but I guess I waited too much for too long. Since the first announcement that Zee was going to be in a new BL, I was sooo hyped, but when I finally watched it, it didn't get me. Still going to watch it anyway because I love the actors and I loved the other couples, but I got really lazy, unfortunately🥺🥺

What two random bl/gl characters would make hilarious exes?

I have no idea 🤣🤣🤣🙈🙈

But I thought about a conversation of Fiat (Don't Say No), Jang Jaeyoung (Semantic Error) and Nuea, Kaeng and Team (Y Destiny), they would count bodies all day 🤣🤣🤣

Who would be the funniest person to person to watch a bl in its entirety and which one would you make them watch.

A lot of people finds it weird but, I always watch BL with my mom🤣🤣 She's is best person to watch it with. She loves anything I choose to so🤣🤣

I also would love to watch Cherry Blossom After Winter with @wanderlust-in-my-soul it would be perfect 😍😍

Best wardrobe moment/or character wardrobe from a bl.

I love the red suit Fiat (Don't Say No) wears for the party in the end. That entrance with the twins (who are really cute too) behind him, wow😍😍

And I guess Kinn's (KinnPorsche) whole wardrobe too. That man knows how to wear a suit, as he should cause, wow, he's GORGEOUS in those suits🤤

----------------------------------------------------------

Thank you so much for tagging me😍😍

See the full post

20 notes - Posted April 27, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Okay, I just want to put it out what I'm feeling right now after EP13, but I'm going to focus only on PeteVegas because, too much happened in this episode.

First of all, I just need to leave something very clear here: I didn't knew anything about the novel before watching the series so, I was really blind and didn't know what to expect. That being said, let's move on.

I still don't know what I feel when I think about them. I started watching KinnPorsche BECAUSE of VegasPete, I wanted to see them together. Them Pete got captured and I realized the road that they would go.

I'm completely biased by Bible, so I didn't imagine that I would HATE his character. And I did. For a moment. Now I'm... Confused cause at the same time I want to kill him, I want to protect him ("At the same time I wanna hug you, I wanna wrap my hands around your neck - P!nk")

Something I'm really enjoying is to see how everyone interpret their relationship differently, that's amazing. So I want to leave here what I think they have.

I don't think it Love. I don't think it's anything really rational. I think they developed a toxic emotional support that they crave above anything else. I genuinely think they can't live without each other anymore because of this bounding. Vegas gets better because of Pete, but also he can reach his peak of destruction for Pete too. The same for Pete. He has a pure heart even after everything he did and have been through, but he fakes smiles and happiness too much. With Vegas, he can show the evil part of himself without being judged of anything. They are literally like Yin and Yang. They need each other for balance. Pete needs Vegas to be mean, and Vegas needs Pete to be good.

It's not love, it's balance. They both know what they are doing it's wrong, but still want it ("Mama, I'm in love with a criminal and this type of love, it's not rational, it's phisical - Britney")

Also, the scene where Pete was "eating" the ramyeon and breaks down crying, wow. I also saw a lot of people saying different things about it and, one of the things people said was that his friends and people o cares about him are around him but he is still left alone. I don't think the others left him alone just like that. He's visible hurt, both, inside and out, holding tears all the time... I would give him some time too. And, he may have asked to be alone for a while cause, Khul would talk to much, ask too much, and he's not in a good shape for all Khul's presence at that moment, you know?

And when he touches where the handcuffs were, his chest and neck where Vegas touched, I really think he was missing him, but his crying because he don't want to miss Vegas. Crying because because he knows it's wrong and unhealthy, but he's still worried, maybe even not for himself but for what Vegas may do without him. He can't control him if he's not near him. I guess it's obvious now that Vegas don't control Pete, Pete controls him.

And one last thing, yes, they can't kill each other because, like I said, they balance one another. If one of them dies, the other will crumble. If they hurt each other, they hurt themselves. That's why I think Pete couldn't pull the trigger and Vegas couldn't stab Pete.

All of this is just how I feel about them, how I read them myself.

I love seeing the other ways they are being read so, if you want to talk more about them or other couple, even other series, I will gladly talk to you. 🥰🥰

And I need to say, shout out to the whole KinnPorsche's crew cause I'm really impressed by this series 😍😍

21 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[sweetdreamsjeff]

Jeff Buckley: Son Arise

Ted Kessler, New Musical Express, 27 August 1994

Born with a voice to die for and a runaway father who follows him everywhere, JEFF BUCKLEY's wish not to discuss the late, great old man contradicts his usual vocal dexterity. But like all good journalists, NME's TED KESSLER gets him to spill the beans as well as discuss the emotionally laden musical nuances of his haunting album, Grace.

THE LONDON END of the line goes momentarily dead. The PR is stunned. Maybe she just didn't understand what they were saying. Want to run it past her one more time?

"Sure," comes the managerial response in New York. "We're thinking of faxing you a list of questions that journalists shouldn't ask Jeff. What do you think?"

Nope, she heard correctly. OK, what could these questions realistically be? What subjects are just too painful for the delicate ears of singer/songwriter Jeff Buckley?

"Well, no questions about his personal life for a start."

Could be tricky, but we can work around it. Anything else?

"Yes. We want no mention of his father."

Right. Don't mention Tim Buckley when you meet Buckley Jr. in the stockroom beneath The Point nightclub in Atlanta, Georgia. Forget any vocal lineage. Don't even think of comparing the way Jeff Buckley's voice can convey inner torture and unbridled joy within the same twist of a line and Tim's ability to blast holes in walls with his pained wail.

Don't look at a song like 'Last Goodbye' by Jeff and compare its forlorn message of failed love ("This is our last embrace/Must I dream and always see your face?") with, say, 'Once I Was' by Tim ("Once I was your lover and I searched behind your eyes for you/And soon there'll be another to tell you I was just a lie"). Don't compare notes on their souls.

Don't consider telling him that Grace, his fully-fledged long-player, is richer than his father's eponymous first album. That it could be as good as his dad's best work like Happy Sad — in parts even stronger because the songs are more rounded. Don't pull out an old photo of his father in his mid-20s and exclaim: "Those cheekbones, those eyes, that smile — it's really uncanny!" Whatever you do, don't dwell on the fact that two of the great white American singers of the past 25 years just happen to be father and son.

Stop it. Don't even think about it. Jeff doesn't want to know.

"I knew him for nine days. I met him for the first time when I was eight years old over Easter and he died two months later. He left my mother when I was six months old. So I never really knew him at all. We were born with the same parts but when I sing it's me. This is my own time and if people expect me to work the same things for them as he did they're going to be disappointed.

"Critics try to pin so many different inaccuracies on me and my music, they look at the complicated things and try to simplify them. They think they can nail your whole life down just by knowing the bare bones of your history in partaking in ten minutes of conversation. If you're going to write, then write a novel with a Haitian woman in it and try and describe her accurately. When you can do that, you can write about people."

He is not Tim Buckley. He is not Dweezil Zappa or Julian Lennon. He is Jeff Buckley and, frankly, he's had enough of talking about his father, the legendary late-'60s, early-'70s balladeer who died of a drug overdose aged 28 in 1975. He's grateful for all the musical genes passed down to him but, hey, his mother loves music and his step-father had quite a music collection too. His natural father probably passed on his vocal chords but he gave him little else — especially not time — and Jeff thinks he's got something to give the world himself. He's right.

Born 27 years ago, Jeff Buckley spent a lonely, insecure childhood and adolescence being dragged from West Coast city to western village and farm by a mother filled with an insatiable wanderlust.

"We'd spend a few months in some places, longer in others. But we never hung around for long. The best places were also the worst because just as I'd make friends with someone we'd be out of there. I got pretty good at working out who wanted to punch me and who would defend me. I'm an excellent judge of character now. I guess my mother just always wanted to know what was around the next corner."

Eventually he struck out on his own and headed east, arriving in New York in 1991. Initially, he planned to become an actor.

"But there's always been music. It's been my friend, my ally, my teacher, my tormentor… I can't recall a time when it wasn't there. And singing just took me over. There was a time when I stopped singing, between 16 and 19, but that was done on purpose, maybe as a punishment, maybe as a cure."

Would Jeff care to elaborate? Eyes narrow, eyebrows lower.

"That's kind of personal."

Uh-huh. Jeff Buckley made his first steps on the solo ladder — he'd been in several bands previously — around the New York folk circuit. A live EP, Live at Sin-E, came out of this period but Jeff had already decided that the constraints of a solo performance were too restricting. So he holed himself up in a studio in Woodstock with a four-piece band and producer Andy Wallace and recorded Grace.

The album is everything you hoped for when the first snippets of news about Jeff Buckley started filtering back from New York last year (Tim Buckley's son with his father's vocal range and his own tortured musical soul? Noooo…). Yes. It's like someone taking snippets of all the music they know and inventing a new musical language from it.

First, there's the voice. He shares the amazing vocal dexterity of his father, for sure, but when you listen to him it's like hearing Liz from the Cocteau Twins for the first time. The words have meaning here, but all the significance is in the tone of his singing. Before you come anywhere near a lyric sheet you understand the emotion behind each line. Longing, pain, lust and hope all bursting out of this little body at once.

Then, there are his songs. Within the simple constraints of guitar, bass, and drums (and some extraordinary string arrangements) he creates a dense but immediate emotional vessel that cannot be pinned down in any rock, soul, or folk category, or as mainstream or alternative. It's all over the place but it sounds new and it means something.

So although you wonder why he felt like including three cover versions on Grace, particularly Elkie Brooks' 'Lilac Wine', you forgive him because of the tingling, tear-stained genius of 'Last Goodbye', 'Grace' and 'Lover You Should've Come Over'. It's a good record and it really doesn't sound like Tim Buckley at all. Where's it all come from?

"The words come from here," he says touching his top pocket. "From memories, from dreams, from people I've known. I'm always writing and reflecting on life. I want to suck it all in.

"The music comes from within and outside. Within is the big mystery of life, we've all got it. The outside bits are easier: The Beatles, Led Zeppelin, The Smiths — man, I'd fight for their honour, for the words of Morrissey and the music of Johnny — Edith Piaf, My Bloody Valentine, James Brown, Lush — Mikki was at my gig in London…"

Wasn't John McEnroe there too?

"He came with Chrissie, yeah."

That's Chrissie Hynde. What did you and McEnroe talk about?

"That's kind of private," he says, his eyes narrowing and the eyebrows lowering once more. "But we spoke quite deeply about some things he'd been going through, things I understood. I told him he was the Johnny Rotten of tennis, the punk genius. He was why I watched tennis, there was art in what he did."

He's not smiling. He's entirely serious.

The time is 2:15 in the morning. Jeff Buckley has broken his audience. He and his band have been on stage for nearly two and a half hours and The Point has been drained.

At first there was drunken heckling from some good old southern boys, but when Jeff first opened his mouth after a ten minute introductory guitar noodle everyone shut up. Even his band stare in amazement as he sings. Rapturous applause follows each of the first dozen numbers.

But it's Saturday night and 90 minutes into the show the original audience start twitching. Only a hardcore remain as the set winds to a finale, along with a pack of drunks in off the street. One guy in a cowboy hat adorned with flashing lights wanders around the perimeter claiming he's watching the new Hendrix. No, he is! That boy can sing! His friend can't hear though, he's fumbling with his grip on balance and eventually slumps to the floor by the door.

Jeff, however, is oblivious to all this. He's lost somewhere in his first encore, a 20 minute version of Big Star's 'Kangaroo'. He's trapped on the first couplet, "When I first saw you/You had on blue jeans," squeezing everything out of the words "saw," "you" and "jeans." As he finally spits it out and half steps back from the mic, he looks sapped of all energy, as if that line was the biggest confession of his life. He looks wiped out.

But something pushes him back and he repeats the line, but this time the emphasis has completely changed and instead of sounding desperate it now sounds filthy, as if he'd just made the most lewd observation ever. And then he's off again, eyes closed, head waving from side to side, happy to be here, just singing, just letting all the insecurity, all the joy, all the worry come flooding out through his mouth… No tomorrow, no yesterday, just the present…

Suddenly he's leaping up and down in glee, reveling in one of the most desperate, depressing songs ever, happy to have it coursing through him, bellowing tunefully. Joy, joy, joy! He's either cursed, or the luckiest man alive.

© Ted Kessler, 1994

[qnewsau]

Drew Barrymore heads to Sydney and Brisbane for special talk show

New Post has been published on https://qnews.com.au/drew-barrymore-heads-to-sydney-and-brisbane-for-special-talk-show/

Drew Barrymore heads to Sydney and Brisbane for special talk show

Actress, producer and talk show queen Drew Barrymore is coming to Australia for the first time in years for two special stage shows.

The 49-year-old will host two An Evening With Drew Barrymore shows in Sydney and Brisbane, presented by health and wellness brand Wanderlust True North.

Drew will come to the ICC Sydney Theatre on August 2 before her first-ever trip to Brisbane for a show at the Brisbane Convention and Exhibition Centre the next day (August 3).

On stage, Drew will share stories from her extraordinary life with her Australian audiences, then switch to the chair to interview an all-Australian line-up of celebrity guests.

She’ll chat with G Flip, Tones and I, Dannii Minogue, Michael Klim and Baker Boy, Terri Irwin and Emma Watkins.

It’s Drew’s first trip to Australia in five years, and she said she can’t wait to visit Brisbane for the first time.

“My life’s journey has been an extraordinary odyssey, and I’m absolutely thrilled to share my life story from my triumphs, setbacks, and everything in between in Australia, one of my favourite countries, at Wanderlust True North,” she says.

“I’m also thrilled to share the stage and lead the conversation with inspiring celebrities, activists and change makers.

“This will be an unforgettable evening filled with heart-warming laughter, joy and an abundance of soul-stirring moments that will inspire you to be the best version of you, and as Wanderlust highlights, ‘Find your True North’.”

Wanderlust CEO Charlotte Hill is thrilled to be bringing Drew Barrymore to Australia.

“Drew is an icon and loved the world over. It will be two very special nights,” she said.

“We couldn’t think of anyone better to represent our brand who has nourished her life with meditation, mindfulness, manifestation and giving back to people and the planet.

“It’s a pleasure to platform and celebrate an incredible woman at Wanderlust True North, who’s impacted so many of us whether on the big screen, on the talk show couch or through her commitment to living her best life.”

A portion of every ticket sale will go to BRIDGE IT, which helps young women exiting out-of-home care find a more permanent home and a thriving community. This collaboration is a result of the partnership between Wanderlust and Igniting Change.

Book tickets to An Evening With Drew Barrymore in Sydney and Brisbane at wanderlust.com.au