#conundrum estate

[lazyjellyfish300]

merriment shrine 🎄⛩️

synopsis: you're the newest concubine in Lord Sukuna's household and the object of his unrelenting ruminations (or is it desire?). When Uraume tasks you with being in charge of the Christmas festivities while Sukuna is away, you can only hope you'll deliver. What could go wrong? 🎄 largely inspired by this fic by @/sttoru 💕 words: 7.5k

cw: minors dni, x FEM!READER(Yuri), concubines, smut(p in v, double penetration(not too detailed), monster sex? I guess bc true form!Sukuna sex is not normal sex, oral f and m receiving, titty fucking, degradation, creampie(not too detailed), cum eating), violence, blood, Sukuna is a warning on his own, true form!Sukuna, SUKUNA HAS BEEF WITH BABY JESUS. MOCKING OF RELIGION/BLASPHEMY (PLS DONT READ IF THAT BOTHERS YOU. IT'S SUKUNA FFS) decapitation, bullying, heian era but it's all over the place historically and NOT accurate. angst, fluff, crack

a/n: For the secret Santa fic exchange event by @nanamiscocksleeve written for @heian-era-housewife ! I deeply apologize for the late entry! I was very intimidated writing for him for the first time but I hope you like it. 😩🎅🏽🎄💕 Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!✨

my holiday smut masterlist 🎄

dividers by @/saradika-graphics. pics from pinterest

You mused peacefully as you took in the gentle dance of snowflakes outside your chamber windows, thinking if you squinted hard enough you could make out the intricate shape of each one before they landed silently on the thin dusty layer of those that fell before on the undisturbed gardens.

You hugged your kimono a little tighter around you as you sipped your tea you had laced with some ginger and cinnamon, much to the confusion of the cooks in the kitchen. The distant glare of the fireplace bestowed a soothing warmth that kept you locked in place.

Since you arrived, it quickly became no secret that you, the newest concubine to join the harem under the formidable king of curses, brought with you a peculiarity. Certain quirks that endeared you to the servants and annoyed the other concubines.

You emitted a humble air about you like the shades of aqua and seafoam green you gravitated towards. You often opted for untouched corners of the garden next to the pond and the library where you could read and write in solitude that became mistaken for arrogance by the others.

And for whatever reason or another, you insisted on this...holiday business or whatever the hell you called it, gently humming those insufferable tunes under your breath that carried though the marble hallways and adorning your room in makeshift tinsel and boughs of holly you strung together from stray pieces of greenery you found by the koi pond.

It was a very frustrating type of conundrum Sukuna didn't appreciate that was causing ripples in his vast household, especially now, as he studies you from his neighboring window on the opposite side of the estate, stroking his chin, eyes narrowed.

"My Lord." Uraume bows as their smaller frame appears in his doorway.

"Speak." Sukuna responds, not tearing those eyes of a deep rose away from where you were perched in your window, a pointed black claw gently scratching the sharp ridge of his jaw in deep thought.

"I need to know of your plans for the winter feast preparations."

"What of it?" Sukuna answers coldly.

Uraume doesn't flinch, being all too familiar with Sukuna's temperament. They knew he would rather fork out his eyeballs than waste time with frivolous matters like festive planning. Too reminiscent of the folly those disgusting humans preoccupied themselves with.

But, Uraume also knew the blind fury that would await them should they make arrangements for anything impacting the routine functions of Sukuna's household without his knowledge.

"A proposal, my lord." Uraume continues calmly. "Since we are not expecting your grace's presence until the 24th, perhaps we leave the bulk of the planning to someone else?"

Sukuna scoffed. "And who would that be?"

"One of the concubines."

"Who? He asks, slight incredulity now mixed in his sternness. "Her?"

"She...brings a new set of traditions."

"I am aware, I was not born yesterday."

"...I thought his majesty would appreciate-"

"Appreciate? Uraume, do not speak foolishly." Sukuna scolded, now fully turned to face them, his two upper muscular arms folded across his body.

Uraume merely stayed where they were, silent, undemonstrative of any reaction which they knew Sukuna preferred while he strode about the room, beginning to pace.

Finally, Sukuna came to a stop. "So be it. As long as I am not to be trifled with such matters again until my return, I do not care what the little brat does."

He paused, his expression unmoving as he addresses them one more time. "I have the most trust in your judgement, Uraume. Do not disappoint me."

"Yes, my Lord." Uraume bows again as Sukuna takes his leave, but not before eyeing you one more lingering glance before he departs, a shred of annoyance when he realizes despite the distance, he wouldn't be rid of you from his thoughts anytime soon.

-----

"My lady." Uraume addresses you from your doorway and you stand abruptly, bowing in acknowledgement.

"Uraume, good to see you."

"Thank you." Uraume answers pleasantly, a slight inflection in their tone carrying a fondness at your usual kindness towards them.

Although you were aloof, odd, and provided more than an earful that Uraume had to bear witness to from the other concubines, at least you treated them respectfully, unlike them.

"Lord Sukuna has departed on business with no plans to return until the 24th."

You stood up slowly, quirking a curious brow at the unexpected news.

"It is tradition that his grace hosts a feast for the winter solstice." Uraume explains. "To usher in the cold season and provide festivities. But, due to his absence, we are in need of someone to make arrangements..." Uraume clears their throat, clearly a little nervous at what your response will be, since the success of it was mostly riding on your willingness to participate.

"Would you be willing to lead the preparations, my lady?"

Silence hangs in mid air before you speak. "Me?"

"Of course." Uraume hums. "I don't doubt you'll be more than capable. I, along with many others, have noticed you celebrating this-Christmas? You call it?"

"Yes, that's right." You straighten up a little. "I mean, I'd love throw a celebration for Lord Sukuna. But, why me?"

"Well, my lady. As I said before, you are very capable. I noticed you seem to have an eye for these kinds of details between your drawings, writings, and your.." Their fuschia eyes flicker briefly to the parchment ornaments adorning a potted plant in the corner. "...creations." Their lip curls upward in a meek grin.

"Between you and I, I have never cared much for the traditions, either. Too overwhelming. But, I am curious about yours. You've caused quite a stir among the ladies of the house and, if I may speak openly..." Uraume gulps and looks at the walls nervously as if they had eyes into the conversation before lowering their voice.

"You are the first in a long while whom I have been able to tolerate, and who has treated me kindly unlike so many before you."

You give Uraume a sympathetic glance, now determined to deliver on your promise of a celebration worth waiting for.

"We'll start tomorrow."

----

The shrine slowly transformed day by day. The halls became lined with pine needles accented by soft candles that emitted a heavenly glow. As the snow piled up, you recruited the help of the servants, smiling at their bewildered expressions that turned to pure joy as they touched snow for the first time, constructing an army of snowmen with various hats, scarves, and other accessories they could find around the estate, complete with carrot noses provided by the kitchen.

You, Uraume, and a team of gardeners from the palace ventured into the woods and hand selected multiple spruce trees, and, with their help, chopped them down, strapping them with ropes and dragging them back so the shrine could have its own assortment of Christmas trees, complete with what seemed to be nearly hundreds of crochet and parchment snowflake ornaments.

You had fashioned them with Uraume and some of the other ladies in waiting during craft hours in the evenings. Presents wrapped in scarlet ribbons and offerings to Sukuna began to encircle the bottom of the largest tree in the grand hall.

Across the way, however, the group of other concubines avoided the spreading merriment with disdain and scowls on their faces, not even touching or wandering in the vicinity of the Christmas trappings as though it contained a plague.

You began hosting caroling rehearsals and only you, Uraume, and a few other members of the kitchens staff had joined while your bitter cohorts tried their best to drown out the noise on the far side of the shrine, the leader of the group shooting a fiery glare at one of her minions when she began to blindly hum the catchy tune.

As Christmas Eve drew closer, the warm baked goodies become more innumerable as they popped out of the kitchen and the bakers perfected their abilities to whip up treats worthy of the season. The shrine had adopted a permanent scent of gingerbread, cinnamon, pine and peppermint that followed and clung to your robes.

----

On the 23rd, the day before Christmas Eve, you and Uraume were baking and laughing with flour stained faces,

"To think, we did all this in just a few weeks' time." Uraume mused as they squished the gingerbread dough between their fingers. "Lord Sukuna will be pleased. Yes, very pleased with you indeed."

The sentiment left you with a very healthy dose of fluster as you grinned at the thought of his majesty marveling at all the work you did just for him, possibly rewarding you with something much better than you could imagine as those eyes of deep rose bestowed you subtle admiration that had not graced anyone else.

Unknown to you, an eavesdropping ear belonging to one of the concubines catches wind of this statement and skitters away quickly to spread her message to the others.

----

"Spit it out already!" The cruel eyed leader of the concubines hisses to the messenger.

"I overheard that Lord Sukuna chose her specifically to lead this Christmas tradition and intends to reward her and place her higher above the rest of us, earning his grace's favor so that we might be cast out into the streets!"

Shock, fury, outrage, and blind jealousy erupted among the other concubines.

"What shall we do?" "That goddamn slut, I knew she was no good." "She needs to go!"

"Silence!!" The leader screeched over the others. "She will be dealt with. We must take matters into our own hands so Lord Sukuna is displeased and has no option but to execute her. Listen to me, I have a plan..."

And the other concubines huddled around her eagerly as they plotted your downfall.

----

Everything was ready for the elaborate Christmas Eve homecoming feast for Lord Sukuna.

The finest beast was being roasted on a spit over fiery coals under careful supervision by Uraume. In the kitchen, the chefs were hard at work chopping vegetables they had culled from the winter harvest. Puddings and treats were being whipped up and presented beautifully in festive arrangements on fine platters.

The smell of Christmas cooking overwhelmed you as you stood in the great hall, clad in a new royal jade kimono with golden ornate leaves woven in your hair that never made you appear more elegant than on this Christmas Eve of festivities.

You thought of Sukuna and what he might think when his powerful presence graced these halls again. An odd mixture of fear and admiration you harbored for him that inspired you to want to please him. Feelings about him you couldn't quite place ever since he selected you to live in his shrine even though your head had not yet graced the silk of his bedsheets.

Lord Sukuna's carnal appetites were of no mystery to you. You had heard plenty of rumors about how rough and relentless he could be. His preferences seemed to be both selective, yet apathetic if that even made sense.

You had heard the screams and loud noises of primality from behind his sealed oak doors that echoed into late hours. Though all of his concubines would walk away with their own satisfaction eventually, his copulation apparently came with scars and rough treatment.

Seldom, if ever would his fucking deviate into lovemaking territory, much less tenderness and intimacy. That is where his selectiveness came in. The gentle sighs, gasps of mind melting pleasure, soul binding thrusts, consuming kisses dotted lovingly all along your nape, breasts, and inner thighs while being brought to the pedestals of pleasure you craved to know one day from the touch of a man you were deeply in love with, seemed to be reserved for someone of an unattainable caliber to Sukuna.

Until he met someone worthy, his concubines were nothing more than warm vessels of temporary satisfaction until his thirst returned.

But, here you were daydreaming that you could be the recipient of such love from him despite all odds.

----

"Whore, we're trying to speak to you!"

An indignant voice rips you out of your thoughts and you turn around, jarred at the sight of the head concubine with her supporters close by. You were outnumbered one to many. A piece of meat left to the wolves. Subtle panic slithered in and wrapped around your throat when Uraume was nowhere to be found.

The leader's scowl melted from her face into a honeyed grin, her long nails outstretching and wrapping around a delicate glass reindeer from a gorgeous wintery scene Sukuna's craftspeople had spent countless hours on.

"P-please be careful-" You raise a shaky hand.

The leader hisses at you, stealing the reindeer out of reach, her icy stare renders you speechless again. Her expression then morphs back into a sugary tone, a snake's venomous fangs concealed behind her pretty face.

"Tell me, darling. Does Lord Sukuna know you've been defiling his shrine this entire time he's been gone?" She asks as she turns the reindeer in between her graceful fingers.

"Defiling...?" You choke out, perplexed.

"Yes, defiling. With these, disgusting-"

You jump in alarm as she abruptly hurls the glass deer to the ground, watching it explode into shards as soon as it meets the unforgiving marble.

"filthy-" she reaches this time for a wreath of holly, casting it onto one of the glowing candles, setting it ablaze.

"pathetic-" the others have now joined in, breaking and trashing all your beloved Christmas decorations, hours of hard work and care being ripped, torn, shredded, and cast into the fire one after another.

"Stop, stop, please!!!" You cry and shriek, voice drowned in anguish but when you raise your hand to stop her, she turns on you immediately, the others coming to her aid, ripping and tearing at your gorgeous kimono.

"You think Lord Sukuna gives a shit about you and your stupid little Christmas traditions?" She snarls as her and the others claw the golden leaves out of your hair and they clutter on the floor, your robes now nearly in tatters. "You're just another slut. A weak, useless, ugly-"

You cower and brace for the worst, but your insides turn when you hear a warm squelch as blood splattered against the walls. A shudder runs through you at the unmistakable sound of dismantle and cleave; the King of Curses had returned.

You look up and you see him first, averting your gaze immediately and kneeling for fear of losing your head next. You're not sure how many of the concubines or servants within the vicinity were slain, but you're guessing a lot, if not all, based on the sea of blood on either side of where you were crouched.

"We'll have no more of that." Sukuna tsk'd. Those stern eyes raked over the scene, seething in annoyance at the mess in front of him. His eyes land on you and he squints as he draws closer, sensing the tremble of your frame as you didn't dare move from your spot.

"Breathe, for gods' sakes, human." He commands. "Stand up, now. Don't keep me waiting."

You rise on shaky knees, keeping your gaze downwards until you straighten up completely, looking into the formidable face of your lord and unexpected savior.

"My Lord."

"Tch." Sukuna clicks his teeth, looking over you. "This is what you call a celebration for the King of Curses?"

"I-..." You shake your head, the lump in your throat obstructing both the oxygen and words in your brain. "I can explain..."

"I do not require an answer." He growled, and you shut your lips, gaze averted downward once again in fearful shame. "You are a mess." His eyes appraise you in scrutinizing pity.

He had seen enough to know this fiasco wasn't entirely your fault. But still, the irritation he felt towards you prior for sticking out so prominently in his brain was rearing its ugly head. It was unlike Sukuna to ruminate, to toil in his mind for hours, especially over a human like you, no less.

He will deal with that later. For now, he still expects a proper feast and celebration after his lengthy travels.

"Uraume." His voice reverberates off the stony walls and Uraume is immediately at his side, their pupils dilating slightly at you in alarm at the devastating state of the grand hall that was beautifully adorned and decorated less than an hour before.

"Clean her up immediately and bring her to my chambers. In the meantime, have any available servants scrub up this mess."

"Right away, my Lord."

----

A while later, you walk slowly towards Sukuna who's standing by his window. You're dressed in fresh robes chosen by him specifically of a bleeding garnet like his eyes. You take in the grand sight of him, the way the darkened shadows would bend at his back and wrap around whatever he was facing, nearly suffocating them with his presence that commanded reverence, humility, but most of all, fear. His broad shoulders, back, and booming voice with a majesty likened to the powerful mountain range that surrounded his shrine.

Even now, as he turns to face you with his monstrous appearance in his full glory with those four eyes, his harshness he exudes stirs a suppressed part of you that never desired to be removed from him. A forbidden kind of beauty not obvious to many that brimmed underneath that thick shell you were only barely skimming the surface.

"Better." Sukuna remarks, seemingly pleased with this new ensemble. "Now..."

He took a step towards you and you held your breath, preparing for the moment where you would inevitably be forced to give yourself to him and be at his non-existent mercy for whatever plans he had next. However, he surprises you.

"Are you just going to stand there, or will you join me for dinner?"

"Dinner?"

"I do not intend for my winter feast to go to waste." Sukuna frowns. "Seeing as my entire harem is now dead except for you, I have no choice but to rely on you to remedy this."

You look at him, dumbfounded. That wide gleam in your eyes that was brought out by the light hitting your irises whenever you had to crane your head to look at him(which was every time) almost pulls at him, for a moment. Almost.

"My Lord?"

"You may start from the beginning." Sukuna instructs, the top pair of arms folding seriously across his chest with the second pair on either side of his thick, muscular waist.

"Use this opportunity to prove yourself worthy and show me these ridiculous Christmas traditions you insisted on imposing on me before I change my mind, brat. "

----

"These are called snowmen, my Lord." Your teeth chatter slightly as you two come to a stop in front of the wall of snowmen you, Uraume, and the servants had constructed over several weeks in the courtyard.

Sukuna stares boredly, a rush of annoyance bubbling inside him as he lays eyes on their pebble smiles, goofy hats, and multi colored scarves.

But, his eyes widen ever so slightly when he takes notice of the biggest snowman that stood out towards the back. This one towered over the others with four sticks for arms instead of two, meeting Sukuna directly at his eye level. It had four sets of pebble eyes on its face with carefully carved markings, eerily similar to someone he knew...

"What is this?"

You gulp. "It is you, my Lord."

Sukuna stares, silent. "What is the purpose of this?"

"For visual display." You answer, slowly. "Personal enjoyment. Sculpting them and playing in the snow is half the fun."

"I care little for that." Sukuna waved his hand. He studied his snowman some more. "I suppose I will allow my likeness to be erected into snow. This is supposed to represent myself and my subjects?" His eyebrow raises slightly as his pair of undereyes flicker back to look at the dozens of other, smaller snowmen in front.

You nod, slightly encouraged by this reaction that wasn't all good, but wasn't all bad either. "Yes my Lord, it is."

"Hmph." Sukuna shoots air out of his nostrils in disapproval. Then, without warning he raises his arm. You duck quickly, and simultaneously each head of each snowman besides his own is sliced off and goes flying, shooting in the air and then landing and exploding like mashed pumpkins back onto the ground.

Sukuna looks with pride at his handiwork, his glorious snowman standing tall over his now decapitated army of snowy subjects.

"Now, it is perfect."

He joins his hands behind his back and walks off with a hum back towards the shrine, leaving you both endeared and confounded.

-----

Next tradition.

"Alright, my Lord." You wring your clammy hands nervously as you stand in front of Sukuna, who's opted to take a seat at the head of his banquet table.

He was stuffing his face with the roast beast that was at least spared by Uraume, his stomach mouth's comical tongue wagging in anticipation with drool before he tossed a couple bones for it to gnaw on obnoxiously like a crazed animal.

"I wish to share with you the legend known as Santa Claus. Otherwise known as Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, among others."

Luckily, the feast seemed to make Sukuna more receptive, if that was even possible. Perhaps some of the restlessness (since he couldn't exactly experience hangry-ness that was exclusive to humans) was resolved by the smoked meat, giving his stomach mouth something to preoccupy him besides nagging Sukuna relentlessly.

"If you must." Sukuna rolls his eyes at you and then at the dopey expression his second mouth gives him while it's utterly high off the fresh bones it was chomping on.

"Well, this Christmas Eve night, he is said to fly and deliver presents around the world to all good children, spreading cheer and climbing into chimneys to leave presents under Christmas trees."

Sukuna's eyes narrow. "I will slaughter anyone who dares enter my household without permission." His stomach mouth gave a little belch. "I do not care for this Santa Claus you speak of."

This was true Sukuna fashion. Normally, you'd be mortified at his dramatics but by now, you had to do your best to stifle a giggle. "My Lord, it's merely a legend."

"That does not matter. If this Santa Claus you speak of attempts to enter my home, he will lose his head." Sukuna vows as he takes a hefty sip of wine before turning his glass to his stomach mouth. "Tell me about something else besides this ridiculous Santa Claus legend."

"Well..." You think for a moment then snap your fingers. "His grace might appreciate the legend of Krampus instead?"

Sukuna raises an eyebrow, corners of his mouth still turned downward in displeasure.

You clear your throat, "Krampus is a legend, like Santa Claus except he is a half goat, half demon monster who punishes naughty children. As opposed to Saint Nick whom delivers gifts, Krampus will appear and punish children who misbehave with bundles of branches, or by eating them or taking them to hell... Erm, oh! He looks like this!" You grab a piece of parchment and ink brush, pausing for a moment to make a quick sketch of Krampus.

Sukuna leans back, folding his arms, as he watches you, patiently, expectantly for this new Christmas tradition you spoke of to be better than the dreaded Santa Claus. When you're done painting Krampus, you turn your makeshift masterpiece in Sukuna's direction.

To your delight, a rare, smug expression of satisfaction tugs at the corners of his mouth when he lays eyes on Krampus for the first time.

"This is much better. I will absorb all of this Krampus's cursed energy when he appears tonight. He would be very useful to me, indeed."

You don't have the heart, or bravery to remind Sukuna that Krampus also is just a myth. Sukuna folds his arms, signalling he's done with his dinner.

"This Krampus can stay. Now, on to the rest of your silly traditions, brat."

-----

As the night continues on, you demonstrate more traditions for Sukuna, slowly bringing him into your world of decked out halls and yuletide merriment, albeit with his own, Sukuna-esque spin on things.

Needless to say, he loathed most of them.

"These are what are known as Christmas trees, my Lord." You gestured to the dozens of pines you and Uraume and the servants spent so much time decorating, shortly before Sukuna lit them all on fire.

Your jaw fell open and he stood there proud as the orange flames engulfed the trees in a mini forest fire within the shrine as the glow did a dance in his pupils. Sukuna inhaled, savoring the smoky wood against the releasing smell of the burning spruce.

"A much better way to enjoy the trees." He insisted.

---

Slowly, the Christmas you thought was nearly ruined was salvaged little by little as you entertained the King of Curses.

He spat out all of the overly sweet Christmas goodies immediately. However, his stomach mouth couldn't seem to get enough. Sukuna rolled his eyes as the pair of chompers devoured cookie after cookie that he fed it steadily with his lower pair of hands while his free hands rubbed his temples in defeat.

"I suppose these will do."

---

He liked the Christmas presents and offerings, but not because of the origin story behind it.

"So you see, my Lord, the tradition of gift giving on Christmas came from the nativity story, of the three wise men who delivered presents to the infant Jesus, who was believed to be the son of God."

"Hmph." Sukuna sneered. "How boring. An infant? I would smite him with ease." He looked at the pile of presents. "Tch, we will continue the gift giving tradition, but only for the King of Curses, for I am the most powerful being in this realm, not a newborn baby."

You smile and bow. "Yes, my lord."

----

And when it came to the Christmas carols, he quickly nipped those in the bud.

"Enough!" He groaned, covering his ears when you and Uraume didn't even make it through the first verse of O Holy Night.

"Who is this Savior you speak of in the lyrics?" He glared as he glanced over the sheet music. "Is this about that damn infant again? How pitiful. Change it. I can barely tolerate these insufferable ballads."

Sukuna seemed to come around, but only slightly when the lyrics were more modified to his tastes:

"O holy night! the stars are brightly shining;

It is the night of the mighty Lord Sukuna's return.

Long lay the world in sin and error pining,

Till he appeared and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope- the weary world rejoices,

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees! O hear the angel voices!

O night divine, O night when Lord Sukuna returns!

O night, O holy night, O night divine!"

"An improvement." Sukuna frowns again, scratching his jaw. "But I cannot stand either one of your voices."

In short, Christmas carols didn't make the cut.

----

Many of the servants had retired for the night at Sukuna's request to give you and him some space alone. The fires were nearly extinguished, lingering smoke and pine permeated the air with the faint brush of cinnamon and gingerbread. The embers of the fire are boiling in a low cackle as you stand in front of your king who now sits atop his throne slightly above you.

"This last tradition is called mistletoe..." You tried to disguise your shyness as you reached in the pocket of your robes and showed him the small bundle, wrapped up in a red bow. "The leaves and white berries are actually considered poisonous." You explain, which catches Sukuna's interest immediately.

"And? What is the significance?"

"In a Norse legend, the goddess of love, Frigg, promised to kiss anyone who passed underneath it.

The tradition of kissing under the mistletoe was born shortly after in an ancient festival in Greece."

A faint glint of mischief dances in Sukuna's eyes as he leans forward with a smirk.

"That so?"

His gaze roams over you, this realization of several hours that have passed between you and the mystique surrounding his lack of physical contact with you fuels his intrigue that was beginning to simmer alongside the exhausted flames.

"And what else happens after you humans kiss one another under this tradition?" His voice now drips with honey, a contrast you were not expecting from him.

"Well, I suppose that is up to the participants. Surely, things can become a bit, intimate, I suppose."

"Hm." Sukuna outstretched a large veiny hand, taking the mistletoe from you and hanging it from the ceiling above where he was perched on his throne. He leans a hand on his chin, while one of his lower arms comes to cup you around your waist.

"Demonstrate."

He waits, and your eyes spread slightly in alarm as you were brought closer to him than you have been in the entire time you've known him.

Your lips part hesitantly, laced wetly by your wine ladden tongue. Sukuna does not budge, however his hand pressed against your back a little more urgently, his black nails lightly puncturing the garnet threads of your kimono as though he were requesting not to be kept waiting a moment longer.

Your eyes glance upwards at the arrangement of mistletoe dangling perfectly over your heads, then directly at his supple lips that part in seething wait, before leaning in and pressing yours against them without another word.

Sukuna's mouth is warm and rough, just like every last inch of him you discover shortly after when both of his lower arms bring you in between his enormous thighs, so that you are directly up against pure muscle.

His skin is heated, and practically hot to the touch between all of the formidable strength that lay encased in his looming form. Sukuna wastes no time deepening the kiss. As his mouth opens against yours, you feel as though you are being swallowed directly by rays of sun on a sweltering day, the very opposite of the present chilly night bogged with snow that now covered every inch of the land surrounding the quiet shrine.

The delicious and precise slither of his tongue in between your lips causes you to release the most beautiful gasp into his mouth. Sukuna exhales deeply,

"More."

And his lips move feverishly, low grunts escaping the opening space between them as his tongue slides against yours. Aroused, scorched by this ethereal being as he kissed you as though he were the kindling catching alight and you were the flame instead.

Your hands bravely slide up both sides of his expansive neck, your nails entangling themselves in the unruly locks of orchid. The King of Curses shudders, seemingly offput by a mortal touching him so boldly, but every passionate grind of you against him allows him to ignore it for now, as that insatiable thirst bubbles deep in his belly and begs to be relieved.

"Ahh..." A breathy moan peels softly at first then snaps as he rips the ending from your throat with a harsh gnash of his teeth to your bottom lip, as one his hands immediately snaked into the opening of your robes.

His touch is molten, but his stare is unmoving as he forces your gaze to stay captured underneath his as his hand works quickly to part your thighs, riding the hem of your kimono up your legs, cold air tickling your pussy which he's more than pleased to discover is already bare, shiny with slick underneath.

"Closer, and do not stop looking at me." He mutters. All four of his heavily hooded eyes greedily drink in the way your expression liquefies to silk when you feel that first long, languid, warm stroke between both lips of your sensitive cunt.

"I said, look at me." Sukuna growls, a clawed hand coming up to cup your cheeks, both of them pinched between his thumb on one side and the rest of his fingers on the other. He runs his tongue over his lips, a slow sneer spreading out at your gradual fucked out expression as his tongue from his belly slowly licks, savors, and swirls against your dripping entrance.

High pitched whimpers flood past your lips, the corners of your eyes begin to prick with tears as profound warmth blooms upwards from the epicenter of unrelenting pleasure Sukuna's second mouth is wringing from your swollen clit. The tongue begins to slowly curl inside of you, each groove of its wet, meaty surface gliding against the soaking velvet of your tight walls, while the upper lip encircles and sucks over your soft pearl.

"Good." Sukuna whispers, stifling a groan when he feels you involuntarily pulse around his tongue, leading to a greedy string of juices dribbling down the second throat. "Who's your king? Tell me, pet."

He tauts his abs as he maneuvers you around his stomach slightly, still keeping you locked in an iron grip but allowing you to lightly bob as he guides you to ride his tongue, his other pair of hands coming to knead your breasts, his eyes tearing into your soul.

"You, Sukuna..." You managed to sigh, as you felt the soaking warmth linger over a tried and true spot, before Sukuna promptly removes it, irritated at your unsolicited use of his name.

"Tch." He grins wolfishly at the abrupt whimper that followed when you mourned the loss. "Do not get greedy with me, brat. You will feel only what I allow you to, understood?"

He breathes out as he lowers you back onto his awaiting open mouth on his belly. "And you will only address me as your Lord, woman, understood?"

"Yes, my Lord..."

"Mm."

And you continue to feel his tongue's meticulous exploration of you with your thighs parted on either side of his large waist, however it only became more agonizing as it coaxed and only teased around all the spots that amplified euphoria, dangling that peak of arousal frustratingly out of reach.

"My Lord, p-please, I wish to cum..." your nails dig into the hollows of his chest and he glances down briefly, internally bemused at the needy mess he was turning you into, thin trails of your juices softly dribbling down the soft meat of your inner thighs.

Your eyelids flutter and the intonations of your voice begin to quiver as his second tongue began to wetly prod your sweetest spot.

Sukuna glowered briefly at his second mouth that had a mind of his own, displeased at its less sadistic nature than his and its determination to drive you off the edge whereas he was in the middle of enjoying your desperate state. He cannot place it, but this idiosyncrasy between him and the rest of his body was betraying him.

Perhaps it was due to this question that was slowly being answered in his mind of just how soft you'd be for him in the throes of pleasure, silencing his ruminations of you at long last. As you knew, he cared little about the appearance of the concubines he chose to feed his ravenous sexual appetites.

He had rarely encountered a pretty face, and, for the first time, the King of Curses felt compelled to worship.

"Hmph. Cum for me then, brat." He croons harshly to disguise his waning willpower. "Be a good mistress and cum for your king. Don't you dare hide your eyes from me..."

And the dam quickly burst and you soaked his lap, tears releasing in your eyes as well, your blurry gaze burning as you obeyed Sukuna's command to keep your eyes on him.

The second mouth panted as it worked to clean you up, guzzling your arousal like it was nectar as it stuck to its lips and Sukuna's powerful torso in a shiny sopping coat of sheen.

"Good." Sukuna praised, pulling you off him as he undid the remainder of his robes, the subtle sound of the garment hitting the floor causes you to clench your thighs, even more so as you saw him, completely bare in front of you for the first time.

If you were any other whore, he would not have stopped after you finally came, if he had let you cum at all. Sukuna delighted in denying his partners their utmost release until it was practically unbearable, then would push them well over the threshold of normal stimulation, until he sunk his teeth in their shoulder and fucked them roughly with his dual cocks.

Now, as he tears off his robes, allowing the element of anticipation to linger with the promise of what was to come next, and the heat to smolder lying in wait, he realizes this first time with you would be much, much different. With you, things were unhurried and slow.

His black markings continued below where his dark robes previously concealed, all along his sculpted collarbones, pecs and chest. His muscles were rigid with the tension you were slowly building up in him this entire time. He possessed burly thighs that were covered with small forests of hair, as well as on his arms with sinewy veins and lightly flushed pink skin.

But, what stood out most of all were two staggering, meaty cocks that bloomed red at both tips that flopped against his belly. Veins adorned both sides, running purplish blue, a very large, plump, taut set of balls dangled in a flesh colored sack underneath.

You couldn't help but get on your knees, entranced as you slowly sank to the floor. Your mouth began to salivate as you took in the bulbous tips that had to pass for almost three of your fingers alone, mind fuzzy with both excitement and intimidation as you wondered how you could possibly accommodate both.

"My Lord, m-may I?" You lick your lips, whimpering as the throb of your clit begins to pulse as your warm pussy squeezes around nothing. You were still worked up from your orgasm, however having already been brought to heaven and back, you were eager to please Sukuna. After all, as you were repeatedly coached in your trainings as a concubine, a good one always pleases her Lord.

"Excuse me?" Sukuna frowns, ice in his tone.

"P-please my Lord? I wish you pleasure you, to suck your cocks..." You swallow, the blinders of arousal causing all shame to disappear out the window.

Sukuna scoffs pridefully. "Really? And why would I let you do something like that, brat? You think I require your mouth so badly?"

He taunts, noticing the way your pussy still bore no shortage of wetness. As a matter of fact, it was trickling even more as the thoughts of taking Sukuna's cocks in your mouth only aroused you to nearly primal levels.

"Please, please my Lord..." You breathe slowly as your teeth brushed your bottom lip, his hands coming to undo the knot of your kimono, allowing the garment to slide in a sensual display down your shoulders like seafoam receding over a shoreline, until all of your bareness lay exposed to his hungry eyes.

Sukuna stared at you, wrestling internally at the hazy feelings the sight in front of him was conjuring up. You were so desperate, panting and waiting. The smell from your soaked heat was earthy yet sweet, an aphrodisiac to his nostrils. You were so needy, so eager to allow you a taste of him, the way you tilted your head so sweetly as you begged permission.

"Very well..." Sukuna's jaw slackened just a tad before running his thumb along your glossy bottom lip, the pointed edge of his nail and thumb just barely poking your tongue, which you indulged him and slowly licked it into your mouth.

"Fuck, such a needy little thing, you. God, such a whore..."

He presses his thumb onto the middle of your tongue. "Open..." He pumped one of his shafts with the other, as you gently opened your lovely lips, gradually and steadily feeding you his cock, twinkling eyes peeking through your lashes.

"Fuck..."

The utter groan he lets out is music to your years, and you meet him more than halfway immediately, stuffing his cock quickly into your mouth and almost hitting the back of your throat.

Sukuna grits his teeth as you accept him so greedily. His size was such that the entire thing didn't quite fit, filling up such a pretty mouth and throat until your eyes watered, the stretch eased by how much you ached for him, and how delicious his heated skin tasted in your mouth. So warm and rigid as you feel him pulse with life with the faintest trace of salt from the blooming precum.

Your eyes roll back and you begin to bob your head, squeaking with surprise when Sukuna pushes your head, relishing the glistening coat of drool you leak every time the heavy shaft withdraws from your reddened lips. His hand tangled in your hair, guiding you up and down his cock.

Sukuna panted and grunted, falling backwards on his throne with you at his feet, his hips rippling as he couldn't help but fuck himself into your plush, silky, mouth. His other cock aches for attention as well, and he gets an idea.

"Your breasts..." He rasped. "Touch yourself, present them to me."

Mouth still stuffed with cock, you innocently batted your lashes as both your hands came to grip your tender globes, lifting them slightly as you gently pushed them together, creating the perfect, sinful little valley for Sukuna to slide his second cock.

Using the mixture of slick and spit and sweat from his other cock, he coats the second one with his hand and throws his head back as it meets that slippery canal, squished in between your two yummy tits.

You groan loudly, hugging the velvety length between your breasts as you continued to slobber all over the other. You cooed and whined sweetly, rubbing your thighs together, a practical second orgasm almost inevitable from watching this being, this king, this God, so wanton and so aroused.

"I'm going to cum. Don't stop, don't stop gazing at me like that, my goddess..."

He looked down at you, his lovely little slut, so filthy and carnal. This alluring, sexual siren he awakened that was concealed beneath a pair of glittering shy eyes and quiet exterior this whole time. You were a treasure to be guarded, a goddess of Earth and flesh, worthy of his devotion, of his love, and he finally snaps.

Both cocks ooze generous spurts of silvery white cum. It paints both of your supple tits like jelly. It's warm and thick as it coats the inside of your throat and mouth. Sukuna marvels at this masterpiece he's made out of this celestial canvas of you, slowly drawing out his slick, sticky cock and tracing your puffy lips with the milky gloss.

"My Lord..." You purred.

"Mine." He whispered before he yanked you against his lips again, greedily and messily tasting himself off of you, both hands nearly covering both sides of your face as he drank the breath from your lungs.

-----

Sukuna's bed is warm just like the heat that runs rampant throughout his body. His pillows and linens bend to accept you and embrace you like you have always belonged there despite this being the very first time you did.

A galaxy is born in that moment when both heads of his cock begin to rub and slowly push inside both of your holes, stretching you in a way no other man or being for that matter has ever done before.

"Look at me..." Sukuna commands again. His booming voice is reverent and his gaze is eternal as he bites back more groans that simmer at the back of his throat. You grip the sheets, sweetly calling his name.

"Sukuna..."

And he doesn't correct you this time. His face softens and the callouses of his hands run and squeeze over the expanse of your thighs as he becomes one with you over and over again.

"My queen." He utters at last as your heart sings and blooms within your ribcage.

The world shifted that night as the King of Curses irrevocably bound himself to you.

And when the exhaustion had claimed you, when you could no longer be flooded, filled, and fucked, when the sheets felt like silk and your tired limbs and his wove together like emerald leaves of holly, as his seed gushed inside your womb and buried a mixture of each other so deep and raw and new in a way that could not be conceived again.

The nighttime was quickly forgotten as you fell asleep to the King of Curses' heartbeat, the dawning hours of Christmas morning ushering in a gentle wave of steadfast snow.

[lefaystrent]

Janus stumbles upon a tiny black kitten.

It's just sitting there, a tiny ball of adorable floof on the sidewalk edge. Janus glances around, as if someone will miraculously appear on the abandoned street to claim ownership. But he's in the mindscape, and honestly the street only goes in a square around Thomas's apartment building. There's only so much real estate you can fit into one man's head. At any rate, the other sides hardly venture out here. This kitten is totes fucked unless Janus does something.

"Oh I couldn't possibly," Janus demures at the narrator. "Besides, it's imaginary. I'm sure it'll be fine on its own."

"Mew," chirps the ball of floof and emerges out of its loafing position to waddle in Janus's direction.

Janus, lord of the lies and all things deception, evil mastermind extradonaire, feels his breath hitch.

Just look at the little paws.

"No!" Janus exclaims, shaking out of his cute-induced stupor. "The last pet I had was Sacagawea the hamster, and we all know what happened to her! Not that I care about teacup sized critters. Begone, little beast."

"Mew," another plaintive meow comes as the kitten reaches his ankles. It swats at him with its stubby claws, trying and failing to climb his pants leg.

"I am a gentleman of standards," Janus tells the cat seriously.

The puny kitten looks up at him imploringly with round-saucer like eyes.

Janus drops to the ground and coos, "Oh no, you're meeting all of my standards!"

The kitten starts up a punitive-engine of a purr as Janus scoops it up in his gloved hands. It chirps intermittently and Janus's ice-cold snake heart melts.

"I'm not keeping you," Janus promises fondly. "This doesn't go beyond a simple scratching. Do I make myself clear?"

"Meeew," the kitten squeaks and Janus nearly falls over himself to bring the kitten's face to his so he can rub their noses together.

The next day the sides are in the midst of filming a video with Thomas in his living room when Logan cuts himself off in the middle of citing his sources to say, "What was that noise?"

"Sorry, I ate burritos earlier," Remus apologizes, not appearing very apologetic.

"No, it sounded like–" Logan cuts himself off again as everyone hears the sound this time.

A muffled mewing.

All eyes fall on Janus in his corner. He stands there, seemingly unaffected, but upon closer inspection with eyeballs, one can see how stiff his posture is.

Patton peers closer with his balls of eyes. "Jan...is this that mewing trend all the kids are doing nowadays?"

"That is not what that means," Roman says, but he's mostly distracted with staring at Janus. "Wanna tell us something, Cat in the Hat?"

The deceitful side bristles. "I haven't the foggiest what you mean."

Janus's hat meows. More than that, there's something shuffling underneath.

Thomas's mouth is slightly agape as he asks, "Janus, did your hat just meow?"

"It did nothing of the sort."

"Kiddo, do you have a kitty cat under there or are you just happy to see us?"

"I– since when do you make jokes like that?"

"Jokes like what?" Patton blinks back.

Janus rolls his eyes and brushes imaginary lint off his imaginary shoulder. "Nevermind. Weren't we discussing Thomas's never-ending cycle of conundrums?"

"Yeeeah," Virgil drags the word out. "You can't just act like we all can't see your hat moving."

"Yes, and we all heard it meowing," Logan muses, ignoring Janus's automatic hissing of, "You heard nothing!"

"But why the hat?" Thomas ponders.

Logan nods, also curious, "Is this a coping mechanism after the loss of Sacagawea the hamster?"

"May she rest in peace, amen," Patton prays while Roman performs a Catholic cross over himself.

Thomas glances at all of them, "You guys know that I never actually owned a pet hamster, right?"

"Dude, too soon," Virgil chides him, and Thomas has the consideration to look abashed.

Janus crosses his arms to look cool. He doesn't. He keeps tipping his head this way and that to keep his hat from toppling over.

"This is a perfectly normal way for me to stand," Janus says.

Roman secretly slides Remus five bucks. Remus dives onto the floor and army crawls behind Janus. Somehow everyone but Janus sees it.

"By all means, do keep staring," Janus says, guarded and on edge and his rolls definitely tootsied. What.

Remus rises up behind him. Off comes the hat.

"Mew!"

"Oh my goodness, that's so precious!!" Patton squeals.

The kitten is belly flopped on top of Janus's head. It's so small that it almost gets lost in the hair, if not for the stark contrast against Janus's lighter color.

"Hey Virgil, it looks just like you!" Roman crows, earning himself a well deserved middle finger.

"Drat, you've uncovered my secret," Janus drones and gives Remus a withering look that promises they will exchange words later. Remus is too wrapped up in giving little chin scritches to the kitty to be bothered.

Thomas also inevitably succumbs to cuteness overload, but he does manage to ask why the heck Janus felt like he needed to keep the cat a secret.

"Because Thomas," Janus throws his arm out to make his cloak flare out. For the drama. Then he flourishes his hand towards the cat on his head. "You weren't ready to meet this new side of yourself, but I guess the cat is out of the bag."

"The cat was under a hat, to clarify."

"LITERALLY NO ONE ASKED YOU, LOGAN!"

"No one ever does, and yet that would solve over half of Thomas's problems."

"When you mean new side, does that mean...?" Thomas asks Janus, his voice filling with wonder. His eyes are getting that crazed glint in his eyes, like he's five seconds away from becoming a Florida Man meme. The background music ramps up into a crescendo at this new epiphany. Thomas knew there were more sides he hadn't met, but to think–!

"No, no, no," Logan says, waving his hands in an X motion. "This is a misunderstanding created from Janus's misleading statement. Don't do this–whatever it is you're doing. Stop it."

Virgil weighs in as well, "Hate to break it to you, but your most animal side is Janus."

"Does this mean Thomas is a furry?" Remus gasps.

"Yesss," Janus hisses out. Then he thinks about it. "I mean no. I mean– what?"

"So what's the baby's name?" Patton asks. He has come close too to join Remus in the giving of scratchies. A noble cause!

"It's a black cat, so why not Catman?" Roman offers. "I am the darkness. I am the night. I am...Catman!"

"Very original," Virgil praises, but it's just subtly sarcastic enough that Roman gives an heartfelt, "Thank you!"

"Can I pet?" Thomas asks, hand reaching out hopefully.

The sides grimace and wince.

"Oooh, yeah, about that..."

"Sorry, man."

"You can't actually..."

"Imaginary, remember?"

"Maybe if you think really hard and imagine touching fur..."

"Don't patronize him. Not with this."

"Yeah, kitty buisness is serious buisness."

"Are we ever going to return to the original topic?"

"Cats take priority. Don't you know that?"

"By what parameters? And by whom?"

"It's like when a cat falls asleep in your lap. By law, you cannot disturb it. On pain of death."

"A bit overdramatic, but not wrong. It's an actual thing."

"Achoo!"

"Bless you."

"Thank you!"

"Patton, why are you petting a cat when you know you're allergic?"

"You would think that imaginary cats wouldn't agitate allergies."

"Thomas has a really vivid imagination."

"Why does everything innocent sound dirty coming out of your mouth?"

"Speaking of mouths and coming–"

Thomas, Patton, and Roman all shove their hands over their ears and scream, "LA LA LA!"

With everyone distracted (as part of Janus's master plan), Janus uses the moment of ensuing chaos to skeddadle away.

They never do learn the kitty's name, but they do eventually discover a horde of cats in Janus's room at some point, but that's another story.

[hoesheez]

Morning Cuddles…

SeongJoong/AFAB Reader

WARNINGS: language, unprotected sex, slight breeding?

A/N: the first of many matz/reader fics im so sorry 🤭HELP ME I CANT STOP WRITING FOR THEM HAHA! its short but fluffy and smutty ❤️

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!!

You awoke in the plush hotel bed, yawning quietly as to not wake your boyfriends sleeping next to you. You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and turned to your right seeing Seonghwa sleeping peacefully, his plump lips parted slightly. You then turned to your left and were met with Hongjoong’s back towards you, the toned expanse of his back beckoning you to litter it with sweet kisses. You had to decide in that moment who you’d snuggle up against first, who knew having two very popular celebrity boyfriends would turn into the most first world type of problem for you?

Last night was such a blur. The two men arrived at your hotel room and were on you as soon as the door was shut behind them. They were still sweaty from their concert, almost as if they rushed over to you as soon as their closing remarks were done. You pulled away with a giggle to get a good look at them, always having to reassure yourself that they in fact were THEE Kim Hongjoong and THEE Park Seonghwa of Ateez. They looked back at you, Seonghwa’s eyes still a bit swollen from his tearful ending ment. You moved to hug him tightly, “I love you so much,” you said and he hugged you back tightly. Although Hongjoong was quite the jealous type, he let the two of you have your moment and walked off, knowing he’d be next in receiving your love and praise.

“You did so well today my star, I’m so proud of you.” you kissed him and he whispered a small “Thank you” against your lips. You took his hand and went to Hongjoong, who was waiting patiently for the two of you. He lay back on his elbows, his piercing gaze looking right into your soul. “And my Captain, you were incredible too.” He followed you as you moved to straddle him while Seonghwa stood right behind you, his hands beginning to wander down your front.

After that, the three of you enjoyed a night full of heavy breaths, gentle kisses and lots of overstimulation. So now here you were, sleepy and sore, deciding which man to hug first. Oh the horrible conundrum you were in, one that you knew anyone would kill for.

Seonghwa’s hand was within reach and you thought about reaching out and holding it, wondering if that would wake him up. You knew they were bone tired and needed rest, especially after fucking you for hours after a whole concert. Then you looked at Hongjoong’s back, so much free real estate to kiss and mark up. They both shared your body so well last night, you wanted to be able to hold them both at once. You sighed and turned to Hongjoong, ready to wake him up with gentle kisses along his blemish free skin but you felt that same outstretched hand you saw earlier on your own back, trailing a finger down slowly. “And here I was hoping you’d pick me first.” Seonghwa’s deep morning voice made you turn over to him. His eyes were still closed but a wide smile was on his face. “Have you been up this whole time? Weirdo.” you teased and moved closer to him, giving him a kiss that he seemed to so desperately want by the way he puckered his lips at you. “Good morning.” he said softly and pulled you closer by your waist.

“Fucking sluts.” you heard Hongjoong say behind you, laughing into the kiss with Seonghwa. Hongjoong turned and shimmied closer to you, taking you by the waist and placing heated kisses on your neck and back. “Seonghwa you’re so lucky we’re best friends, otherwise I’d probably get jealous.” he sighed and moved his hand down to explore in between your legs. You and seonghwa giggled, knowing the two of them were waaaay more than just besties. “After last night I’d say the two of you were married but, whatever.” you teased and felt Seonghwa reach his hand down to meet Hongjoong’s.

You moaned softly as they stuffed their fingers inside of you, your right hand moving to grab onto Hongjoong while the left went to hold onto Seonghwa. Seonghwa’s mouth moved down to suck and lick at your waiting nipples, while you and Hongjoong engaged in a deep open mouth kiss. Christ you felt like the luckiest person in the whole world, feeling pleasure like this should be regulated. There’s no way this was actually legal? Seonghwa pulled his fingers out of your sopping pussy and greedily began pushing the weeping head of his cock into you with a grunt. “Still so tight even after we ruined you last night, fuck!” he said before burying his face in your neck, still sleepy and tired but so needy for your warmth. Your hands flew to his long hair where you tugged and pulled him in for a kiss instead. Hongjoong used your wetness to pump into your asshole, his slicked fingers stretching you out just enough to slide his cock in with minimal effort. He hissed at your tightness, his painted nails dug into your plush thigh. The two men worked on fucking you, their moans and growls like sweet music to your ears. You were in a frenzy now, what with trying to touch them both desperately and kissing them back to back with vigor. The three of you chased your highs together, your body coming undone with them both sucking at your neck and fucking you so deep you were sure you saw stars. You clenched down on Seonghwa’s thick cock, a near whimper escaping his mouth as your body writhed from your intense orgasm.

“Feel good baby?” Hongjoong cooed as he kissed you, soon moving to lean up and over you to kiss Seonghwa passionately. You watched through half lidded eyes as the two men kissed each other messily, Hongjoong only stopping midway as his release washed over him. “My two loves cumming so hard for me, I’m so lucky.” Seonghwa said as he held onto Hongjoong’s face tenderly, his seed spurting into you in thick ribbons.

Seonghwa held the two of you in his long arms as he lay back down, using your spent pussy as a sleeve to fuck you into his own peak. While he chased his high, Hongjoong rubbed circles into your clit, bringing you to cum again along with Seonghwa. The eldest sighed and threw his head back as he came, exposing his neck for you and Hongjoong to quickly kiss and suck hickeys into .

The three of you then lay there spent and sleepy once again, your pussy and ass full of their cum. You moved first, signaling for them to pull out as you turned to hug Hongjoong. “Fucking finally,” he said sticking his tongue out at Seonghwa, who just laughed at him. You sighed and whispered an “I love you, both of you.” to them before falling asleep in their loving embrace.

They watched quietly as you slept peacefully cuddled against them. “We’ll have to leave them soon.” Hongjoong said as he pulled you closer, his arms holding both you and Seonghwa close. Seonghwa sighed and pulled the two of you closer to him, his hands resting on Hongjoong’s lower back. “I know, so let’s just enjoy the time we have with them now, get some rest babe.” he said reassuring his leader and lover, the two of them soon falling asleep along with you.

A/N: this came to me (no pun intended) a while ago when i imagined whod be suuuuuper clingy in the morning, the answer is both! 🤭 but yeah short and sweet matz things i think about?? IS IT JUST ME WHO THINKS THIS? 😳 HEHEHE

[britcision]

Hey by the way just thinking about Shuro and the lengths he went to to stop his party from ever meeting his attendants

Like

He didn’t even wait for Laios to wake up

Didn’t think to offer “hey I’m going after Falin And You Can Come Too”

He got a slower start cuz they supplied up and it’s so incredibly for the best that they did cuz without Senshi none of this would have happened, but it’s also really funny to me

He was So Intent that none of his cool Island friends find out he’s a Lord. They never knew he was anything but a freaking lone swordsman, he asked Falin to marry him but Did He Mention They’d Have To Go Back To Rule An Estate?

I don’t think he did

Because whether he’d ever have gone through with it or not, I think he was pretending he didn’t have to go back

Maizuru and the gals arrived on the Island with him, and Laios and Marcille never knew any of them existed… and Laios knew Shuro for ages

The first people in Shuro’s life who didn’t already know exactly who he was? Who weren’t directly under his father’s power?

I think he pretended he and Falin could just run away together and be happy, probably with Laios (and Shuro hopes not Marcille she scares him), and just. Never address that whole lord thing.

Cuz sure, he didn’t want to wait before heading after Falin. He wasn’t exactly thinking clearly, since they’d already not been eating for 3 days and got TPK’d

But hoo boy did he make sure his cool new friends Never Ever Ever met his dad’s girlfriend or find out he had a squad of ninjas just. On hold.

Absolutely wild this man is a walking millefeuille of issues and conundrums who only makes things worse for himself

[chambersandfogg]

April 2nd, 1930

Dear John, 

Thank you for your March 29 letter, and for the restatement of your invitation to California. I believe you, when you say that even such dire times as these seem somewhat less so in the face of sun and an ocean breeze. But I can’t tear myself away from the Eastern coast just yet. I think I may finally have a way to make true in roads in D.C. I’m not under any delusions that I’ll get Hoover’s ear, but I have to try. 

I regret having to reject your invitation to Los Angeles, but I have no regrets about rejecting your offer of money. I’m not so hard up as to need a hand out from you, though I do appreciate the gesture for what it is. Because yes, if you must know, most of my wealth was either given away or put into stocks. But I still have the Manhattan home. It’s on the market now and while it certainly will go under asking price if it goes at all, I’m sure the funds will be enough to get me through this difficult period. It can’t last forever. 

I did have the thought—one complicated by how far in the halls of power I’d like to get over the next year—that it might be time to start thinking about killing Charles Chambers. He’s in his sixties now, not too young for his passing to be conspicuous, and losing what I have in the finance department may have been a blessing in disguise when it comes to this particular conundrum. I can fade into obscurity quietly, amidst the chaos of the current turmoil. 

Killing Charles Chambers is one thing, but who will I be once reincarnated? I’m too old a dog to learn the trick of a new name but “Charles Xenophon” is hardly suited for flying under the radar.  Have you given any further thought to your future self? Do you imagine you’ll still try to pass yourself off as your own grandson? I do see the merits in that, in terms of making claims on your own estate, but what of the scandal? You have no marriages on record, so any child you had that could have produced a grandchild would have to be a bastard. People will talk. Though I suppose you always have liked people talking about you, no matter what they’re saying. 

What we need is a conspirator, John. Someone in the law profession who might be able to ease the way for us generation to generation. Then again, we’d run into the same problem of needing to convince a new person of our nature every sixty years or so. Perhaps a family law firm—a line of fathers and sons who can aid and abet us in committing some light fraud. I never thought I’d be a man to commit any crimes and yet your presence in my life has led to the contemplation of law-breaking on several counts. And when it comes to our continued existence in society, there really is no other option. 

Until such time, I remain, for now,

Your friend,

Charles Chambers

[a letter received by J. S. Fogg]

[to read the pre-1917 entries, join Atypical Artists and get access to the archive of 24 entries (5,000+ words), as well as ad-free episodes of Atypical's whole catalogue. to receive future monthly missives straight to your inbox, sign up for free here]

[localplaguenurse]

Dottolone AU where Pantalone is a dragon and keeps abducting the Omega segment whenever he feels neglected because Omega’s a robot version of his mate, that sets off both the mate instincts AND hoarding instincts.

At least 9 times out of 10, whenever Dottore comes back from a long trip or finally emerges from his lab after a few weeks, the first thing he has to do is go to Pantalone’s estate to get his robot back. He doesn’t even need to see if Omega’s actually gone, he just knows that after like three weeks Pantalone has definitely taken him by now.

Pantalone’s all smug with his tail (and arms and legs tbh) wrapped around Omega possessively while Omega is completely indifferent. Of course the only way Omega will be let go is if Dottore himself takes his place. Quite a difficult conundrum, no?

“You do this once a month. It’s very inconvenient for my research.”

“And it is very inconvenient that I only have a metal imitation of my lover whenever you’re busy.”

“You are Teyvat’s most insufferable and desperate reptile.”

[mariacallous]

2024 was disastrous for Chinese President Xi Jinping. For all of his rhetoric about “the great rejuvenation of the Chinese nation,” his regime faced staggering setbacks. Military purges intended to root out corruption instead revealed systemic turmoil that continues to undermine readiness. Economic growth cratered as unemployment, bankruptcies, and capital outflows soared. Meanwhile, key partners in Moscow and Damascus stumbled or fell, undermining Beijing’s geostrategic ambitions. Together, these and other crises have revealed a China that looks increasingly fragile, not formidable.

If 2024 shattered illusions of China’s unyielding ascent, 2025 promises to lay bare the vulnerabilities that Xi can no longer conceal.

Facing mounting problems at home and soon an emboldened U.S. President Donald Trump in Washington, Xi is nevertheless not banking on dramatic shifts or bold reforms. Instead, he is pursuing a policy of perseverance: muddling through economic stagnation, avoiding outright confrontation with Washington, doubling down on ideological discipline, and fomenting chaos abroad to distract adversaries and buy time to stabilize his precarious position.

Yet Xi’s approach carries significant risk. While his willingness to endure hardship may fortify his grip on power today, it threatens to unravel his aspirations for China’s national revival tomorrow.

Contrary to Xi’s carefully constructed image of competence, China’s domestic dilemmas remain profound. A shrinking population, a weakening currency, and dwindling foreign investment have exposed cracks in Xi’s economic stewardship. They also undermine the Communist Party’s bargain with the Chinese people: prosperity in exchange for compliance. China’s crisis of confidence risks spiraling into a vicious cycle as weak growth deters investment, shrinks spending, deepens deflation, and raises unemployment—all of which drag growth even lower. Xi’s reliance on meager supply-side stimulus has delivered fleeting sugar highs, with modest spending upticks and short-lived credit expansions. But ballooning debt, bad real estate bets, and a stock market that has been flat for a decade leave Xi with few levers to reignite growth.

Worse still, Xi’s campaign to root out perceived weaknesses within the party, military, and private sector has compounded his conundrum. Purges of senior officials such as People’s Liberation Army Navy Adm. Miao Hua—a key enforcer of Xi’s ideological conformity accused of “serious violations of discipline”—as well as former Defense Minister Li Shangfu underscore rot within the ranks. The reported detention of more than 80 business executives in 2024 alone has stifled innovation and fueled fears of arbitrary state intervention. While these actions may consolidate loyalty and enforce control, they also deepen distrust and erode the competence that Xi needs to navigate mounting pressures.

These widening woes have only steeled Xi’s resolve. He routinely invokes Western “encirclement” and “containment,” blaming the United States for thwarting China’s rise. But he uses this narrative to justify ever-expanding repression at home, including constructing more than 200 party-run, extrajudicial detention facilities to enforce discipline and root out dissent. In Xi’s view, China’s domestic struggles ultimately stem from weak ideological discipline and insufficient loyalty to his vision. Put differently, in Xi’s mind, China isn’t broken; it’s disobedient. His solution? A stronger dose of the same medicine: tighter party control, intensified repression, and an unrelenting drive to cement his legacy as the architect of China’s historical destiny.

Amid internal challenges, Xi is turning to chaos abroad to reshape the international order in China’s favor. By offering diplomatic cover and economic support for Russia’s war in Ukraine and tacit backing for Middle Eastern disruptors such as Iran, Xi is fueling crises that distract, divide, and drain Western resources. For Xi, chaos is not merely a tactic; it’s a form of strategic currency, undermining Western cohesion while bolstering his narrative of Chinese resilience and strength. His calculation is stark: If China’s ascent is faltering, the international architecture sustaining its rivals must falter, too. Seen in this light, disorder abroad is Xi’s lifeline—a calculated gambit to obscure his inability to deliver progress at home or globally.

Yet 2025 will test Xi like never before. Intensifying scrutiny from Washington—including new semiconductor investigations, advanced technology export controls, and expanded tariffs—is set to collide with rising domestic unrest, including labor strikes and online dissent. At the same time, an emerging anti-authoritarian alignment—marked by enhanced trans-Atlantic coordination on China and the new U.S.-Japan-South Korea trilateral framework—will intensify the strain. These converging forces will challenge Xi in ways he can neither control nor predict, exposing the fragility of his centralized power and testing the limits of his carefully constructed narrative of inevitability.

Xi’s biggest X factor will be Trump, whose return promises unpredictability. In his first term, Trump waited 15 months to impose tariffs on Chinese goods. This time, tariffs are expected to hit immediately and intensely, targeting the very lifeblood of China’s faltering economy: exports. These tariffs won’t just come faster; they’ll cut deeper, with proposed rates reaching as high as 60 percent on critical sectors such as technology, consumer goods, and industrial equipment. Unlike sanctions, which Xi has worked to mitigate and take years to fully materialize, tariffs take effect overnight, leaving Beijing with little time to react and forcing Chinese manufacturers to absorb crushing losses.

Trump’s tariff threats translate into tremendous peril for Xi. China’s reliance on the United States—its largest trading partner—sustains millions of manufacturing jobs, but a rapid tariff escalation could devastate small and medium enterprises, triggering factory closures and layoffs. Vulnerable sectors such as electronics and textiles could face severe disruption, and even the electric vehicle industry—one of China’s few bright spots—is grappling with domestic oversaturation and budding Western trade barriers. Meanwhile, bipartisan support in Washington for outbound investment screening threatens to choke off critical U.S. capital flows, stalling Beijing’s technological ambitions and broader economic goals.

All told, these measures could deliver a knockout blow to China’s economy, which is almost certainly growing below Beijing’s official target of 5 percent. Tellingly, the party has threatened to fire economists if they warn of economic freefall or express “inappropriate” views—a hallmark authoritarian move to suppress inconvenient truths. Xi has made boosting domestic consumption his top priority for 2025, but this rests on shaky ground, too. If Xi trusts anything even less than markets, it’s the Chinese masses, who have shown no appetite to spend their way out of his economic quagmire. Investors share this skepticism: China’s 10-year bond yield has plunged to record lows, signaling doubts about the country’s trajectory.

Meanwhile, Xi’s reliance on global chaos to sustain his position reveals a glaring paradox: The instability he is fueling in order to distract the West could backfire if and when those crises stabilize. In 2025, the winding down of major conflicts—whether through Trump’s promised dealmaking over Ukraine or Israeli action against Iran’s last remaining proxies—could put the global spotlight back on China. For Xi, this is a nightmare scenario. The West’s fragmented focus has helped mask his vulnerabilities, but resolving these crises could empower the West to confront him head-on.

Xi’s choice is stark: hunker down by embracing a survival strategy or risk further instability by overreaching. Both paths will test his capacity for long-term endurance. Confronted by Trump’s aggressive posturing, Xi is unlikely to pursue outright economic warfare, at least initially, because he recognizes that an escalation would hurt China more than its adversaries. Instead, Xi may adopt calibrated, symbolic responses—like the recently announced rare-earth restrictions—to project strength while preserving room for negotiations. Xi may also leverage retaliatory tariffs or regulatory crackdowns on U.S. firms operating in China to signal defiance without provoking a full-scale confrontation.

Domestically, Xi’s task is how to redefine success. If political stability and ideological discipline now take primacy over economic growth, Xi will have to reframe hardship as proof positive of China’s resilience and moral superiority over the West. If national rejuvenation now takes decades longer than planned, Xi will likely cast the delays as necessary steps in achieving the “Chinese Dream.” Whether the Chinese people will embrace this new narrative—or tire of a perpetually deferred future—remains an open question.

On the global stage, Xi’s reliance on instability poses its own perils. Rather than treading water, Xi may escalate tensions elsewhere—perhaps in the South China Sea, testing U.S. resolve through confrontation with the Philippines. Yet as much as a chaos-driven strategy intends to distract adversaries and sidestep direct confrontation, it invites miscalculation. More specifically, Xi risks exposing Beijing to the vulnerabilities that have undermined other authoritarian regimes—from Russian President Vladimir Putin’s disastrous gamble of invading Ukraine to Hamas’s ill-fated Oct. 7, 2023, attack on Israel that invited overwhelming retaliation.

Of course, the irony of Xi’s leadership is that a seemingly transformational figure obsessed with progress cannot embrace change. Under his rule, China has become a power both disruptive and constrained, where every effort to tighten control risks tarnishing Beijing’s global standing and undermining the credibility of its great-power ascent. But muddling through isn’t leading, and for someone whose legitimacy hinges on delivering national prestige, mere survival risks falling dangerously short of his own lofty ambitions. Ultimately, whether 2025 becomes a turning point or simply another terrible, horrible, no good year will depend on Xi’s ability to overcome the greatest challenge of all: himself.

[bridenore]

HD House Magic fic recs

Here are a few Harry/Draco recs featuring house magic. Listed in alphabetical order, as always.

Changing with the season by @harryromper [36k]

Harry’s determined the first time he hosts the extended Weasley clan for Christmas will be a success. The Grimmauld Place advent calendar has other ideas … until Draco shows up to help.

The Claiming of Grimmauld Place by @bixgirl1 [74k]

When Grimmauld Place begins fighting against Harry’s ownership of it, he decides he needs help to train the historic home — but little does he expect that it’ll be Malfoy who’s most suitable for the challenge. However, as Malfoy and Harry get closer, Harry comes to understand that expectations aren’t always the best path by which to guide his heart — and in the process learns just what is needed to make a house a home.

Coffee, Cakes and Doorknob Snakes by Omi_Ohmy [40k]

Harry’s house is trying to kill him, and only one person can help him: pity it’s Draco Malfoy.

Make Yourself by @anyaelizabethfic​ [103k]

Harry just wants to be safe within the freshly painted walls of Grimmauld Place, with his friends around him. But when he hears Draco Malfoy has been spotted at the local soup kitchen, he can’t help but encourage a different type of stray to come under his roof.

Martyred by @doingthechachaslide [82k]

Harry Potter only wants one thing: to take care of the people he loves. After Teddy’s abrupt departure from his role as Andromeda’s caretaker, Harry decides it’s finally time to step up and handle the job himself. Castoff Manor, an old Black family estate, has never seemed as sinister as the stories make it sound, but it’s there that Harry stumbles upon ghosts, haunting family secrets, and a familiar, snarky blond gardener hell-bent on chasing him out. Maybe if Harry sticks around long enough, he’ll finally learn why all of Andromeda’s previous caretakers have fled without looking back.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker by @firethesound [11k]

Sometimes, Harry can't help but wonder why such strange shit always happens to him.

Stately Homes of Wiltshire  by @waspabi [57k]

Malfoy Manor has mould, dry rot and an infestation of unusually historical poltergeists. Harry Potter is on the case.

Title & Possession by @kbrick [49k]

Harry Potter’s life is going well in the aftermath of the war. Sure, his house is dark and run-down and might hate him (while his house elf definitely hates him). But other than that, things are good. Except, yeah, okay, Hermione and Ron are no longer on speaking terms. Worse, they keep trying to get Harry to pick sides. But otherwise, Harry couldn’t be happier. Well. Except for the fact that Ginny is being super weird about their relationship and never wants to have sex or talk about the future. But other than that, Harry is perfectly fine, thankyouverymuch. At least, he is until Draco Malfoy sues him for ownership of Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place. Then Harry really isn’t fine at all.

The Unknown Door by @amywaterwings [60k]

There is something wrong with the Bellcrest. The heart of the place beats rotten. Everyone says so. Where Draco is a magical property manager, Harry is a recluse, and they’re definitely not hiding from their problems in the run-down flats of the Bellcrest. Not at all. Not one bit. It goes as well as one might expect.

The Unplottable Time Conundrum by @writcraft [45k]

When the past starts bleeding into the present at Grimmauld Place, an old academic article pulls Draco Malfoy out of his life of luxury. Haunted by the memory of a fleeting post-war kiss and thrust into the ghostly spaces inhabited by Unspeakable Harry Potter, Draco’s easy life is about to get a whole lot more complicated.

What Dreams May Come by @firethesound [36k]

If Harry had to get called into work on his day off, at least he was able to get Malfoy called in too.

What We Pretend We Can’t See by @gyzym [131k]

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

Who Will Guard the Door by musamihi [36k]

The day his father is sentenced, Draco takes the Mark and is given his impossible task. Thorfinn Rowle, assigned to be his mentor, is less interested in assisting him than in satisfying his own appetites. As Draco sinks further into failure and watches the war sweep his parents away from him, he takes refuge in the Manor – a member of the family he never knew he had. But the Manor suffers its own wounds during Lord Voldemort’s residency, and the Chosen One may be the only force that can heal them.

You open always (petal by petal) by birdsofshore [65k]

Harry’s not the kind of person who pays for sex. He really isn’t. Until he is.

I hope you enjoy these stories as much as I did!

[thesims4blogger]

The Sims 4: New Game Patch (April 16th, 2024)

EA is releasing a new game update for The Sims 4 ahead of the release of the two upcoming kits, Urban Homage and Party Essentials.

The Sims Direct Communication shared a tweet that the patch will resolve the issue with an error message that is being shown to some players. See it below.

If you have auto updates enabled in Origin’s “Application Settings”, the game will auto-update once you open Origin. If you have auto-updates disabled, you will need to manually update by clicking the game in your library.

To ensure your game is up to date, check the game version found in Documents > EA > The Sims 4 > GameVersion.txt. Your game should now read: PC: 1.106.148.1030  / Mac: 1.106.148.1230 / Console: 1.91

Sul Sul Simmers!

In just a few days, you can get your hands on a fresh fit to wear to the best party on the block. The fun doesn’t stop there; we’ve also

The Sims Team

Bug Fixes

Base Game

Plants that are alive and well will no longer emit green “stink clouds” as if they were dead. Translations related to this fix will be available in the next release!

After enforcing regulations with the Landgraab Power Company, power on a Sim’s lot will no longer be unexpectedly shut off when bills are paid in full.

What an identity crisis! Simmers playing in any language besides English will no longer see the First and Last Name panel blank in CAS for Sims that have selected pronouns.

Um, wasn’t this supposed to be a group activity? When doing Group Cooking, all Sims will now participate.

Gallery Server

We have been continually reviewing your Gallery profanity reports, which can be submitted through the The Sims 4 Gallery Profanity Filter Feedback survey, and we have been updating the ruleset to allow Simmer freedom while keeping others safe. A couple of highlights include:

Reducing the strictness of how hashtags were handled when listed in specific orders

Maxis-created Sims, even from past Sims games, should no longer be prevented from uploading if you choose to recreate one or more

Eco Lifestyle

We fixed an issue where The Dew Collector was not collecting any water. Now, it will correctly collect water, and the water level will continue to rise.

High School Years

Timestamps are now updated properly on the Social Bunny App. Phew, talk about FOMO!

Horse Ranch

While admirable, Sims will no longer express a desire to level up their Nectar Making skill, when that skill is already maxed out.

Yipee, Horse Riding now helps Sims lose weight!

For Rent

In this economy?! The maximum available rent value will no longer lower after evicting a tenant during a grace period in 11C Sungai Point.

Yikes. Now, this is going to require an audit! Landlords who own a Residential Rental Lot and own a business will no longer have fund transfer issues. Transfers from the business to the household will no longer fail, and money will no longer duplicate household funds when transferring to a business.

Crystal Creations

The shawl sweater from Crystal Creations is now visible when selecting a “Fashion Choice” in CAS filters. Please be advised that wearing this shawl did not grant the power of invisibility.

Realm of Magic

What a conundrum! When aliens abduct Spellcasters, they will now become pregnant and give birth to an alien baby instead of a Sim baby.

Werewolves

Tastes like kibble! After taking the ‘Wolf-B-Gone’ drink, Sims will no longer have a fury glow still showing.

Updated a series of CAS accessories that were originally showing up for werewolves, even though those accessories were not applicable to werewolves.

Grunge Revival

A texture issue with the chipped nails in Grunge Revival has been updated.

Poolside Splash

Textures on one of the tank tops have been updated to remove some texture bleeding.

Castle Estate

Hear ye, hear ye. All Castle Estate Windows have been updated to show up in the correct wall height categories.

The arrow slit window has been updated to show that it can be placed on curved walls.

The “Heraldic Crest of Yore” and the “The Eavesdropping Llama” have been updated to appear in Outdoor Wall Sculptures. Your castle has never looked better!

[glasskey]

I’m Gonna Cut Your F#cking Heart Out - The June Osborne Hit List Pt 2.

I'm back, and this time I’ll be covering my favorite June mic drops from Season 2. Apart from the faux hanging at the beginning, this season started out fairly promising with Nick starting to get his Mayday on, and hatching a half-assed escape plan. Unfortunately apart from her short holiday away from Hell at the Boston Globe with her side piece, June was juggled back and forth between Aunt Lydia and Serena's nefarious clutches. It’s enough to make a heavily pregnant Handmaid just a wee bit cranky.

I am Free

Nick having found out that he’s about to be a baby daddy, decides to help June hotfoot it to the border. In this scene June sheds her handmaid’s garb, and proceeds to burn her figurative emotional shackles. In a bloody display of grit and determination, she cuts out her ear tag with a pair of scissors and tosses it into the fire. Standing in the flickering firelight, drenched in blood, Osborne proclaims her freedom…..and she almost makes it. Almost. Fire is traditionally cleansing, it has the power to utterly destroy, and for June it signals both annihilation and rebirth.

At the end of season two Blaine attempts unsuccessfully to facilitate her escape once again. This time on a freezing, pitch black night, Nick and the resident Martha's set fire to a neighboring house, creating a diversion. Together with the sudden violent downpour, it symbolizes Nick and June’s collective grief over the loss of their family unit, and signals Nicole and June’s passage to other realms.

Back at the Waterford home, Nick lights Serena's cigarette, it is not the first time we have seen him smoking at somewhat pivotal points for his own emotional conflict and it wont be the last. Upon June's unceremonious return, Serena drives her from the family home by setting fire to the Waterford estate, severing June's bindings to both Fred and Serena, beginning with the marital bed. Serena stands in front of what can only be described as a blazing funeral pyre, entranced. She almost goes down with it. it is June who coaxes her back from the edge, fittingly in later episodes, these two will share a cigarette. The walls tremble beneath June’s hands, a giant incendiary force boiling beneath the surface waiting to explode; finally ripping through the family home leaving it a pile of smouldering ash.

In season 4 it’s not just the appearance of a fire, but a colossal explosion that finally marks her liberty. It’s no coincidence that it’s Blaine who unleashes it. Much like this explosion, each of his background manueverings, has an impact in her life that reverberates outwards. Each one bringing her closer and closer to freedom.

In Atwood's text June’s desire to stay in Gilead with Nick is a commentary on how easily freedom can be forgotten in the face of these types of relationships. But in the series Blaine presents a conundrum, he appears somewhat trapped, unhappy and regretful. He actively facilitates her escape on several occasions and is angry when she refuses to leave. Blaine sees June as a beacon of freedom and as such his salvation lies with her.

“Freedom agrees with you” observes Blaine in 4 09, but June continues to stay tagged; both Hannah and Nick remain in Gilead. Ironically they have met in the freezing snow, and time will demonstrate that despite her return to a peaceful home, her constant longing for Hannah and Blaine remains. Her freedom is just an illusion, Gilead still has her by the throat.

You Know My Fucking Name

Yes indeedy. Season 1 June Osborne was just an anonymous little handmaid, come season 3 she’s a household name and by season 5 she’s Gilead public enemy number 1. To say her PR division had been busy would be an understatement. Particularly to Aunt Lydia, Osborne has been somewhat of a thorn in her paw, she’s been acting like a bit of a “rebel handmaid commander” as Nick so eloquently put it. Defiant, unruly and just a wee bit mouthy. This scene is memorable to say the least. Aunt Lydia has come bearing gifts; it’s June’s slavery in the form of her pretty little Handmaid’s dress.

Having tasted freedom for a spell, and just a tad bit resentful of being chained up once again, June now has a nice big belly full of fuck you. When Aunt Lydia calls June by her slave name, she quietly snarls “It’s June. You know my fucking name”. She demands acknowledgement as the individual with rights Lydia knows she is, and not just some incubator for Gilead. Being preggers, June thinks that she has the upper hand, but unfortunately she’s dead wrong. The following scene is a call back to S2 Episode 1 when Aunt Lydia tried to convince June to eat all her veg by showing her the disheveled, insane, heavily pregnant handmaid, chained to a bed in the basement. Desperation just oozes out of her pores, her eyes appeal to June who relents in the face of this pathetic creature whose fate it is simply to give birth and then meet the noose. As the other handmaids are brutally tortured for their insubordination, in front of her, June chokes down every last bite.

In Episode 4, Aunt Lydia wastes no time in reminding her that if she doesn’t lose the attitude quick smart, she’ll end up just like her “defiant” friend. It’s no mistake that Aunt Lydia has chained June to the bed and the comforter looks eerily similar, all it takes is a surgically worded threat from her and technicolor visions of her predecessor flash through June’s head. Sure enough June obediently dons her Handmaids garb once again, and is trotted back off into the Waterford’s clutches. Well played Aunt Lydia.

I Can't Lose You

Someone is definitely in love. Like up to her neck in it. She’s just returned from the Boston Globe where her and Nick have had almost 3 months to bond during the first trimester of their baby. If these two are not in love by now, they never will be. Nick, so blinded by it, makes the ill informed decision to step up to Serena, who is sharp enough to recognize his reckless abandon for exactly what it is, and “rewards” him with a sparkling new child bride. Young Eden, having been heavily indoctrinated to dutifully carry out Gilead law, then proceeds to press him to help her conceive a child. The idea of having sex with a 15 year old is abhorrent to Nick. He successfully dodges her for a while, but then she starts using phrases like “gender traitor”, something which could easily get him killed. Nick and June can’t escape it, he’s going to have to consummate the relationship and he’s appalled. June’s quick to point out that shit like this is her everyday existence, if he doesn’t do it she’ll lose him and that’s something that she just can’t do. When June blurts this out, it isn’t quite her saying I love you but it’s definitely the first sign of it, and Blaine immediately clocks it for what it is.

As she walks out the door he states in a very definitive tone, that he loves her, firmly declaring his position in their relationship and reassuring her that despite current circumstances, he’s not going anywhere. It’s a stunning admission from the usually stoic Blaine who would otherwise need the jaws-of-life to articulate such emotion. It marks the opening of the veritable flood gates; from here on in he’s an absolute font of such sentiments. Fuck it. It’s Gilead, he could die tomorrow.

Since the Boston Globe their relationship had taken on a whole new tenor. Instead of the silent uncommunicative Blaine who refused to engage with her, despite her pleas of “talk to me”, we now had a Nick who couldn’t contain himself, proclaiming such sentiments as “I think about us all the time.” Now it was actually June trying vainly to keep him at arms-length, but it was already way too late. While she may have coldly declared that Eden is his wife in response to his sudden declaration of love; behind closed doors she’s in pieces.

The Natural Way

Technically, Serena’s line but I’m going to give this one to June as it’s about her trauma and pain so she should own this moment. Serena is livid at June’s false labor, she humiliated her in front of her resident knitting circle and then gloated about it in front of a bunch of quietly snickering handmaids, Serena’s decided it’s fucking on. Conveniently ever since she got back from her “kidnapping”, Fred’s just been itching to get his hands all over June. As a result Serena convinces Fred to “help the baby come out the “natural way”.

June has managed to keep Fred at arm’s length since she was recaptured and this is just the permission he needs to take what he wants. There’s a moment in this scene where Serena speaks to June gently, coaxing her down onto the bed and then grabs her in a vice like grip to hold her down. This is Serena in a nutshell; a sweet luring word followed by a brutal trap. At first this starts as a joint endeavor between Fred and Serena with them hypnotically chanting out the usual rant about Rachel and Bilah, but it quickly deteriorates as Fred dissolves into a vicious frenzy and Serena realizes that Fred’s not interested in anything but the actual act of violently raping June. June has retreated into a state of utter shock, she stares silently at the ceiling, her spirit recoiling to some dark corner that neither sees nor hears. She can’t even scream. In this moment June seems so vacant she appears almost lifeless, a mere body being torn apart by two monsters. Serena’s stunned by Fred’s frantic desire to possess and consume June, his evident rage at being previously denied. She can barely look at him by the end, ironic given Serena was originally using Fred to actualize her fury. There are moments throughout THT where Serena, confronted by the consequences of her endeavors, is sickened and visibly flinches. This is one of them.

This is the moment that may have damned Serena forever, I personally cannot forgive her for it and I’m not sure that any inner journey will ever be suffice to earn her a survivable character redemption. In Atwood's text Serena was aged and crippled, but in the series Serena is young and beautiful, as such she challenges our ideals and illusions of beauty as a sign of a nurturing or maternal spirit. She’s cold, toxic and despite June’s continued best efforts, absolutely unreachable. Serena's violence is more coercive control than the obvious physical force that Fred wields, but make no mistake, she is no second string. Serena has a truly devastating power, matched only by her cunning, and here in Gilead Serena is a snake who uses Fred as her fangs.

I’ll be back with another hit lit very shortly. In the meantime I’d love to hear what your favourite June line was from S2, in the comments.

[actualbird]

the real Mariluke Struggle: marius wants to stay over at Luke’s place all the time bc no pax, no crazy sad family stuff etc but luke’s bed is uncomfy!!! meanwhile luke wants to be at the von hagen crib bc wow marius has a 10/10 cloud heaven bed. solution is to obviously get luke a new bed but can you imagine trying to get that up three floors?? absolute hell.

this entire ask is so good and so FUNNY. it's problem after problem. i love that luke's bed is uncomfy, it probably is WELL past its due date and there are bits where the spring is starting to come out and thats making annoying lumps on the bed but luke doesnt replace it on the grounds that "it still works" which is like, yknow, his standards are below sea level. in spite of that, marius totally likes luke's place because of all those reasons, also because of luke, and because it's closer to pax than the estate which makes it easy to drop by, and because it's genuinely nice and cozy place.

meanwhile luke loves marius' bed and marius' bedroom (theres so much space???? the tv is so big??? the bathroom is like a 5 star hotel bathroom????) but he still gets intimidated by how Fancy(TM) the von hagen estate is and also theyve probably been caught making out like several times by vincent and one horrific time by AUSTIN so like, there are definitely perks to luke's setup where the only living being who cohabits in his space is peanut, a literal bird.

marius can buy luke an absolutely resplendent new mattress. it's so good it makes luke realize he's had back pain he didnt even know about until he test laid down on the bed at the luxury bed department store (??? idk how rich people beds work or where they come from, do they hatch from eggs?) because suddenly that back pain is Gone. it's a fantastic bed. marius cant wait to nap in it with luke and also fuck him silly on it. but like, yeah, it needs to go up Three Floors.

i assume marius probably hired movers from the luxury bed place but then those movers are confounded when they accidentally get the mattress just lodged-in STUCK in luke's narrow stairwell headed up to his living space. like, it's really wedged in there. luke and marius try to get it un-wedged themselves and theyre successful but it takes more than an hour and also luke wondering about the geometrics of the entire situation

luke: what if i just bust a hole in my wall to get it out

marius: hello???? why is that even an option????????

luke: i dunno just putting ideas out there

like i said, standards below sea level

by the time they get the bed onto luke's palette bedframe, they both just conk out completely tired and asleep on it. and to the mattress' credit, they Do get a very restful and deep sleep while on it

now marius just has to buy luke new bedsheets because luke's old bedsheets still have some blood spatter stains from when luke came home from missions too tired to clean himself up. but thats a conundrum for another day

[militantinremission]

Reaching beyond their grasp?

Israel has made clear their intention to kill as many Palestinians as possible, before appropriating Palestinian Land, Oil, & Gas Fields. The picture above, is an Ad from a Real Estate Developer promoting Israeli 'Beachfront Houses' in Gaza (Seriously!)... Since Oct. 7th, over 20,000 Palestinians have been killed, & over 50,000 have been injured. Gaza now resembles Dresden, but Zionists insist that "From the River, to the Sea" is Anti Semitic hate speech. Israel is losing face w/ each passing day, & they're taking America & The European Union w/ them. Experts on The Region point out the economic toll that Israel is paying for their blitzkrieg on Gaza.

Scott Ritter points out how 300,000 IDF Reserves & their Support Staff are no longer contributing to the Israeli Economy, but are draining it. The Houthis have effectively created a blockade in The Red Sea that is costing Israel Billions. Hezbollah is doing Real Damage in Northern Israel, while Turkey & Iran remain X- Factors. Benjamin Netanyahu & his Cabinet seem oblivious to Current Events; their actions imply that they have a Right to continue the ongoing carnage. The Biden Administration is caught in a conundrum- they want Israel to scale back the assault, but they're obliged to show solidarity w/ The American Israel Public Affairs Committee (AIPAC). The result, has Biden Staffers expressing dissatisfaction w/ Israel's asymmetrical 'War Campaign' in Gaza; while they continue to supply Israel w/ 'Weapons of Mass Destruction'.

The Global Community is holding The U.S. responsible for 1,000lb & 2,000lb Bombs, along w/ White Phosphorus that have been used by the IDF to kill innocent Palestinian Men, Women, & Children. In effect, America is Israel's Partner In Crime. Mainstream Media focuses on the Israeli perspective of eliminating Hamas, but are they? We hear very little about IDF casualities. Last count, Israel claims 1,593 injured; but the Israeli Newspaper, Haaretz says that number is far off. Using Israeli Hospital Admissions, Haaretz discovered that the IDF averages 60 wounded per day. They also discovered that 10,584 injured were admitted to dozens of Hospitals across Israel; the 3 closest Hospitals to Gaza accounting for roughly 3,000 admissions alone- nearly double the Israeli claim.

According to Limor Luria- Deputy Director General & Head of the Ministry's Rehabilitation Department, 'nearly 60%' have severe injuries to their hands & feet; including those requiring amputations. The Associated Press says the total of IDF deaths since Oct. 7th is 153, but The Israeli Military reported 420 Soldiers killed. Luria warns of a looming Mental Health Crisis among IDF Soldiers; some IDF Units have refused to engage. Netanyahu says there are 36,000 Hamas Soldiers; I believe THAT is his threshold for a Cease Fire. He has already displaced nearly 3 times as many Palestinians as The Nakba; roughly 90% of Gaza has been displaced. Netanyahu's actions have set Records in the number of Hospitals/ Health Facilities, Mosques, Churches, & Schools destroyed in a Conflict. He's also responsible for Record Setting deaths to Medical Staff, Journalists, UN Staff & other Aid Workers. European Leaders have straddled the fence, but Leaders in the Global South have condemned Israel's 'War' as an Ethnic Cleansing; some have called it Palestinian Genocide.

Attempts to silence naysayers are not working; Israel is losing The War and The Narrative. People are learning about Zionism, & how it differs from Judaism. Groups like AIPAC have incredible influence, but The Global Masses aren't intimidated by their threats. Jewish Voices for Peace (JVP) have played a major role in demystifying the distinction between Judaism & Zionism. Their 'Not in Our Name' Campaign reverberated globally. As The Masses rose up- demanding a Cease Fire in Gaza, We saw a global pushback from an assortment of Power Brokers in Business, Media, & Government. Their efforts were fruitless, but it revealed the global reach of Zionism. What was most revealing, is the prominence of Christian Zionists. They don't just outnumber Zionists, but ALL European Jews.

These Christian Zionists are mostly Evangelicals in The Bible Belt, but they are not limited to one denomination or region. Pat Robertson, Jerry Falwell, John Hagee, & Hal Lindsey (The Late Great Planet Earth) are well-known preachers of Christian Zionism. Joe Biden (a Catholic) & Donald Trump (a Presbyterian) are also proud Zionists; this may explain Biden's reluctance to slow the flow of weapons to Israel... I was surprised to learn that Theodor Herzl was a student of Christian Zionists, & not the other way around. Men like Baron Walter Rothschild, [British Foreign Secretary] Lord Arthur James Balfour, & President Woodrow Wilson were all Zionists; that may explain why Herzl & Co. proposed the idea of a 'Jewish State' specifically to Balfour & Rothschild. While Christian Zionists go out of their way to support Israel, their reasons can be viewed as Anti- Semitic.

Christian Zionists identify w/ 'The Children of Abraham' through Spiritual Ancestry (as it relates to Acts: 34,35). They subscribe to the Theory of Dispensationalism- the brainchild of John Nelson Darby, in the late 19th Century. Darby is described as a former clergyman of the Anglican Church of Ireland, & a Bible Teacher... Dispensationalism deals w/ the Rapture, & the 2nd Coming of Christ. Followers (Dispensational Premillennials) believe 'The State' of Israel is a necessary step in this Prophecy. The (so called) Chosen People are defined as: Those who rejected Christ. According to the Prophecy, a number of these 'Ethnic Jews' (160,000?) accept Jesus/Yeshua as Christ & are Saved; The rest are sent to The Underworld w/ All of the other 'Sinners'. Both Sides use it to their advantage. Zionists ignore the Christian motivation to deal w/ Europe's 'Jewish Problem', while Christians ignore Zionist duplicity (as allowed in Bava Kamma 113a, 37b) & The Talmud's description of Jesus/ Yeshua as: 'The Son of a Whore/ Harlot' (Sanhedrin 106a,b & Shabbat 104b) & a blasphemer (Sanhedrin 107b[Sotah 47a], Gittin 57a, Shabbos 104b). Christian Scholars like Dr. Ken Matto condemn the notion of a 'Judeo Christian' narrative as oxymoronic, & they think Dispensationalist Ministers are grifters.

Orthodox Jews condemn Zionism as heresy. They don't see the need for a 'Jewish State' before the return of the Melekh Mashiak. Leaders like Rabbi Yaakov Shapiro, are the latest generation of Orthodox Jews that have been on the Front Line contesting the validity of Zionism over the last 120Yrs. Orthodox Jewish Scholars have pointed out that Theodor Herzl, David Ben Gurion, & Benjamin Netanyahu aren't practicing Jews; they're Atheists. It appears that 'Radical (Revisionist) Judaism' is a Zionist Agenda to influence World Opinion regarding Ashkenazi claims to Biblical Israel (Palestine). Their philosophy lines up w/ Nazism more than Orthodox Judaism, & their methodology is pure Colonialism... The Rothschild Family used their personal finances to lay the foundation & infrastructure of Israel. We also know that European Jews in Palestine were supported by Jewish Mobsters, like Meyer Lansky's National Crime Syndicate. They supplied Settlers w/ cash, smuggled in weapons, & possibly taught them Intelligence tactics.

Lansky was a Master at blackmail, bribery, & extortion. In addition to compromising Police Officers, Judges, Politicians, Business & Union Leaders; he 'persuaded' J. Edgar Hoover to ignore American Organized Crime for decades. The U.S. Government sought Meyer Lansky's 'Intelligence gathering' services for O.S.S. operations during WW 2... We see Lansky's tactics currently being used by Mossad. If you believe Jeffrey Epstein was a Mossad Agent (One of MANY) tasked w/ putting prominent men & women in 'compromising positions', you can understand the Pro Israel stance of World Leaders & Captains of Industry... It's almost comical to remember how crazy We all thought Skinheads were, when they declared America is a Z.O.G. (Zionist Occupied Government). In hindsight, we cannot deny the degree of Zionist influence in Entertainment, Finance, Government, & Mainstream Media. Scott Ritter points out that 400 of 418 Members Of Congress & 95- 98 Senators are 'bought & paid for' by AIPAC... Everyone else gets 'Primaried'. Rapper/ Journalist, Lowkey pointed out Rupert Murdoch's multiple connections to Israeli Intelligence Agencies (Mossad, Shin Bet, Unit 8200). His Media Outlets & Journalists regularly walk in lock step w/ Israeli Agendas... He's not alone.

It's no surprise that Mainstream Media has been less than critical of Israel's blatant War Crimes. Their Reporters & Contributors repeat Israeli talking points. Meanwhile, Sean 'Diddy' Combs & an ever expanding list of literal Bad Actors have taken precedence over the mess that Benjamin Netanyahu has made. The Zionists have a habit of using morally questionable Black Men to deflect any attention on them. Bill Cosby was a proxy for Harvey Weinstein & Les Moonves, R. Kelly was a proxy for Jeffrey Epstein & Prince Edward, Johnathan Majors was a proxy for Dana White, Ezra Miller, & Danny Masterson... Bibi's politically finished, but he's not going down alone. Joe Biden, Rishi Sunak, Olaf Scholtz, & Emmanuel Macron are All 'Damaged Goods'. Volodymor Zelenskyy is probably the only Leader on thinner ice; most Experts on Ukraine expect a 'Fall from Grace', sometime after his Term ends on May 21st, 2024. He's literally a Dead Man Walking.

American Zionists went to great lengths to support Israel, to the detriment of America's National Security. Joe Biden wants an $880B Defense Budget, but The U.S. Navy is being outmaneuvered by Houthi Rebels using 'swarms' of $2,000 drones. Scott Ritter has insinuated that Russia has copied British Underwater Drones, & passed blueprints to Iran. It's likely that Houthi Rebels will also have these designs; how many drones will it take to disable a $30B Aircraft Carrier? Sabre rattling w/ Xi Jinping & Vladimir Putin is Keyboard Gangsterism... These Days, The Military Industrial Complex is as broken as the American Economy. It looks like the Israelis are giving Dispensationalism the Taste Test- let's hope that they don't set off another World War in the process.

[apalestar]

@never-surrender Lord Szarr and the body conundrum.

The papers forged. His identity faked. His surname changed in the eyes of the law so he might assume the role of the Szarr heir. Assume Astarion did. All of Cazador's spawn were caught by surprise when the compulsions suddenly ceased. The portion of their minds their master occupied lifted like mist in the sea breeze. In this Astarion saw and seized an opportunity to reclaim parts of what had been denied him for centuries. First Godey fell in the wake of this revelation. He and his siblings turned on their sadistic tormenter with anything at their disposal.

The thralls remained their sentience. Some driven mad from years under Cazador’s charm. Those didn’t last long in a house full of six ravenous spawn. The smarter ones fled. Confused as to why they were even there in the first place. Dufey, the bootlicker, found himself beneath Astarion’s fangs. Both of them after the same end: the Szarr family documents.

Only with those could Astarion put his decades of experience of deception and the lingering vestiges of his legal expertise to good use. He studied the law books. Ensured everything checked out perfectly. Then, submitted his claim to the estate. A distant cousin of the late Lord Szarr. Mourning for the loss of his relative. He had the eyes and the pale pallor to make the connection believable. Coin pilfered from his dead master’s coffers to silence the dissenters.

Those meddlesome siblings of his had mostly scattered to the four winds. Good riddance. Astarion didn’t care what happened to them. Only Aurelia and Petras remained in the dormitories. Dal had fled leaving the most hated brother behind. No one liked Petras even in a household brimming with vitriol and anger. Astarion wouldn’t suffer him either.

Petras, the fool, charged him with dagger in hand. A refusal to see him as the owner of the property in which he currently squatted. No mild difference of opinion on whom staked claim here. An exchange of blows. It culminated in Astarion shoving a large splinter of wood through his brother’s heart. The surest way to kill a vampire spawn in absence of the sun’s light.

He loomed over Petra’s body coated in a delicate veil of his putrid blood. The rest stained the Kozakura rugs. “What a mess. At least I plan to redecorate the place. A waste of a perfectly sellable rug.” Crimson flicked off the tempered edge of his dagger. That’s when he remembered Aurelia bore witness to the spectacle. “What are you still doing here?” Attention turned now to the final, remaining sibling. “I don’t believe you’re as foolish as he was. Surely.”

[il-mostrc]

Hannibal has recently found the rooms of Melissa's (@stingslikeabee) manor to be a comforting fixation. The walls held stories; he could hear them as the sunlight vanished and the house settled. Perhaps she was unknown to the history it tells, much like the paintings she had acquired and where they were last rumored to be. His insight on the track record put to rest a few puzzling conundrums, while other information that was slowly peeled away brought forth new ones all their own.

It was cooler in the kitchen despite the preheating ovens and stovetop that held the fire below the pans. Hannibal found his surgeon-skilled hands covering the surface of the countertop, chilled, ideal for cooking. The wine glass he had carried with him the majority of the time was delicately shifted to the left of him by the stem.

"It's as if you knew my penchant for cooking," he says with a teasing slanted smile. He handles the artichoke with care, prodding the leaves with his fingertips as he tears them until he finds the tender parts. The knife slices the tip, carving around the base until he's satisfied with the shape. Thumbs spread open the center, akin to cracking a ribcage and carving the center out with a spoon.

The lemon juice in the bowl off to the side is used to soak the blossom into the liquid. He reaches for another and mirrors the process; his eyes focused on the precision of his carving and the insertion of his thumbs to gently spread it apart. "For my dinner parties, I arrange for sous chefs to help. Very little talk is made." Another blossom goes into the bowl.

"Cooking is like painting or composing a song. Just as there are only so many notes or colors, there are only so many flavors—it's how you combine them that sets you apart. I often wonder if they are too focused on their note making to speak."

Not that he formally cared. He did find it fascinating that in the years he had arranged for these chefs to aid him, they never once opened up to him. Perhaps they were afraid to get analyzed, far more than him just being the head chef in the room...a psychiatrist as well.

Lifting his head up from his work, he shifts his focus to her. "I am glad you are speaking." Another grin. "Or perhaps I should give them a bottle of your wine at first. Loosen the tongue."

It was late - the sun had set on the horizon for at least a couple of hours and none of the golden glow lingered over the countess' beautiful estate. The pair, however, had spent most of it indoors, and away from the gardens - going over all the paintings which had been rescued and brought over to America alongside Melissa's baggage for a new life, working under the most optimal circumstances for century-old art. Hannibal had more than an eye for art pieces - it was almost as if he had been academically trained to examine them. His conservators were very talented professionals, but even after they left - the good doctor had stayed. Melissa had been eager to hear his theories and opinions on some of the canvasas which had lacked a title or had been unknown entries of the collection - an activity which they engaged until food was required. Moving upstairs, to the kitchens, Melissa demonstrated to be perfectly aware of where every single utensil was kept despite being the lady of the manor. She arranged a decent spread for them, all the while generous with the quantity served. It was just the two of them - but the countess was unafraid to get to cooking, raising the sleeves of her dress up and tying hair to focus on that task while offering the psychiatrist a chance to help if he so desired. "These should be good enough for some carciofi alla romana - what do you think, Doctor?" handing Hannibal a sharp knife from the perfectly kept set, Melissa brought the artichokes closer to them, "Would you like to help by removing the hearts?"

[daisychainsandbowties]

This Dragon/Temeraire AU is driving me feral (half-intended).

Okay, so with Bea, are you thinking her parents are both Chinese, or just one of them?

Because I'm thinking maybe only her mom is from China, and yeah she's a diplomat, and her dad is British diplomat. And so that creates a tension of her mother thinking it's okay for Bea to be working with dragons, but her father will never like it.

But also, they could both be Chinese diplomats stationed long-term in the UK. If Bea had grown up in China, she would probs deserve one of the more important dragon breeds, but not an Imperial or Celestial.

So, in Britain, they kind of let Bea work with Temeraire because he's a Celestial. But maybe they also low-key hate it because why is Bea working with a crew. That's so... debasing.

Temeraire, on the other hand, loves Bea. I am thinking, this story would be set maybe a decade after Laurence has passed away (rip)? And Temeraire loves his crew now, but you know how the British Dragon Corps is, they're kinda rough and tumble. Then along comes Bea who's very proper and reads Chinese books with him (perhaps, Bea even respectfully gives him a present of a book when they first met) and she reminds him so much of Laurence sometimes, and he is all starry-eyed over her for it.

Then when Bea makes captain, her mother uses her influence so that Bea gets Temeraire's hatchling. But also! Temeraire helps her mom with it because he loves Bea and it's the only way he would let her go LMAO.

So yes, Bea comes into this Celestial thinking she doesn't deserve it. And maybe most of the other people in the British corps thinks the same thing too, but it's not like any of them could stop both Temeraire and an important diplomat.

Bea is a conundrum to them, and it's even a relief when she's sent away. The only one who has a hard time accepting that she has to go away is Temeraire.

oh same! the temeraire dragons are my favourite way of doing dragons in anything ever. 

with bea yeah i am thinking that her mum is from China & her father is British. & they argue at length about the optics of sending their 7y/o to work with dragons, but since it’s tem & it isn’t far from their estate, he agrees, so long as she also recieves a classical education. which is how we end up with a beatrice who should, by all rights, be half-wild, but who is also taught manners and etiquette and fencing and, thanks to tem and his & laurence’s library, she also learns advanced mathematics and physics and aeronautics and philosophy and poetry and a kind of eclectic mixture of disciplines. 

BUT she also works on tem’s crew and flies with him & listens to him for hours talking about his adventures. & she dreams of seeing the world on dragonback too. so she’s in this weird position of working a dragon crew, but tem clearly likes her more than a normal crew member, meanwhile she’s also educated and wealthy and not like the children she grows up with. so she ends up slightly isolated, quite lonely.

& tem, seeing this, decides that bea is going to have a celestial, & nobody can change his mind about it. he adores this deeply formal and stuiously proper girl who shows up the first day with a book which she reads to him standing at attention and then gradually falling asleep against his wing. & she’s very like laurnce because she’s a fish out of water & very stiff & mannered but also indescribably warm and genuine. 

so yeah, even though, barring exceptional longwing circumstances, Nobody makes captain at eighteen, he just insists on it, and the corps want a celestial so they shrug. but then, ofc, Something Happens with bea and her parents do not want her in the corps so they strongarm the ocs into laying claim to her (bc yes they DO need celestials) and they assign lilith as her lieutenant while lil waits for Halo to secure the succession. (i love the idea of a tem & beamom tag team where no they don’t like each other but YES they will work together for nepotism purposes. neither of them give a damn about the fairness of it, & tem knows that beatrice deserves it anyway)

so now bea is in this strange organisation with a legendary dragon and a legacy hanging over her (& her secret, which in 19th century Britain could get her in serious trouble). it’s perfect i love her and meddlesome tem. 

[bennet5]

What is the need to Schedule Your EPC Assessment Early When Selling a Property in london?

Selling a residential property in London’s market can be quite challenging. One major element of selling property, however, is obtaining an Energy Performance Certificate or EPC. 

Many sellers ignore the importance of  scheduling an EPC assessment early. This leads to unnecessary delays and inconveniences . 

In this article, let’s discuss why it is essential to schedule your EPC assessment early when selling a property in london.

What Is An EPC Certificate?

The EPC certificate is a document that describes how energy-efficient a particular property is. The property thus gets rated on a A-G scale, ranging from 'very efficient' to 'very inefficient', filled with recommendations for greater energy efficiency. In London, for the sale or renting of any property, an EPC is also a basic fixture of the selling process.

1. Legal Requirement

To begin with, the reason for having your EPC booked way ahead is that it is a legal requirement. Legally, under the Energy Performance of Buildings Regulations, all people thinking about selling a property must have a valid energy performance certificate first. If you don't get one, you could be heavily fined, for one reason or another. 

Getting your EPC assessment booked early allows you to comply with the law, hence leaving you out of legal conundrums. 

2. Market Value of Your Property

Properties with good EPC ratings are much more attractive in the eyes of potential buyers. More so in a tough market like London: a good EPC can give your property an edge over others. Buyers are more informed about energy efficiency and sustainability and tend to prefer homes rated higher. By doing your EPC certificate in London early, you can leverage its results to promote the energy efficiency of your property. This would enhance the attractiveness of your property and expedite the sale.

3. Time for Improvements

If your EPC rating is below expectations, your EPC certificate will recommend ways for improvement on energy efficiency. Scheduling your EPC assessment early gives you enough chance to make these improvements before getting your property on the market. You can get your insulation updated, renewable energy sources fitted, or replace outdated appliances, thus enhancing your EPC rating, and make your property more marketable and many times yield a better price.

4. Last-Minute Rush

Real estate markets can be unpredictable in London-a buyer may show instant interest, or an offer may come far sooner than expected. If you haven't scheduled your EPC assessment well in advance, you may find yourself scrambling for it at the last moment. While this creates added pressure on an already complicated process, it may also lead to delays that could jeopardize possible sales. Early booking enables you to manage the smooth process of selling. 

5. A Comprehensive Marketing Solution

With the prospective clientele searching for properties, it's imperative to develop a clever marketing strategy in the digital age. Listings should usually contain some information on energy efficiency. Obtaining your Energy Performance Certificate london early allows for informing the marketing materials of your findings directly from the certificate; thus, you will be effectively marketing the energy efficiency of the property to eco-friendly buyers. Such a proactive approach can boost the visibility of your property dramatically.

6. Understanding the EPC Process

During an EPC assessment, a qualified assessor typically looks into your property, including insulation, heating systems, and energy usage. The assessment process may take some time, especially with a hurried city like London, where service is in great demand and can incur delays in scheduling. If you book your assessment early, you can start getting insight into the EPC process, allowing you a reasonable chance to prepare your property adequately.

7. The EPC for Flats and Houses in London

Whether selling a flat or a house, knowing how to obtain an EPC can prove vital. The EPC for flats in London may include more communal considerations, such as communal heating systems or shared walls. On the other hand, EPC for houses in London tends to be more about the general energy performance of the house. Realizing these specificities with time will enable you to put in efforts to mitigate whatever peculiar situations your property may face. 

Conclusion 

To conclude, it is very essential to conduct the EPC assessment early before selling a property in Central London. Apart from legal compliance, it will heighten the property's marketability. Hence, by having the correct approach, one is sure to navigate better through the complexities of the London property market, helping them to have a smoother and successful selling experience. Please don't ignore the importance of the EPC certificate in London; be smart, act early, and take a protective step towards your property's future.