#controls paralysis

[elodieunderglass]

is PCRF still where you recommend people donate, or do you have another recommended group? I would like to donate but haven’t had time to do research.

(In reference to fundraising campaign I did for PCRF)

One of the most important things I have learned about conflict and healthcare and devastation, from someone who deals with them for their living, is that it is fractal, each piece of it containing unimaginable complexity, and that as a human you can’t really deal much with fractals that get more complex than, like, ferns. I am oversimplifying here. But the thing is that you cannot get bogged down endlessly in debating the nature of fractals. You decide on the level of complexity you can manage , perform an action and move on. You cannot take responsibility for every mathematical pattern that follows from your action; if you were a sort of cosmic weatherman, affecting the fates of people you’ve never met through some vague alchemy of intention, you’d know about it already. Therefore do not obsess too much over The Good Place levels of ethics and research, spiralling into fractals in search of the perfect. Therefore, also, if you want to give £2 to someone, feel free to ignore people who say “ah but if you give £2 to that guy they’ll spend it on something bad, and the whole fractal is rotten and broken.” You can only ever claim your own actions, a small piece of the fractal: to insist on your power over distant pieces of mathematical patterns is bonkers. It is religious nonsense. This is what I’ve learned and I thought it was pretty good, from someone who’d know.

So I believe the Palestine Children’s Relief Fund is not able to operate in Gaza at the moment, like many non-profits; I believe Medeciens Sans Frontiers aren’t in Gaza at the moment and that’s pretty dire indicator. However, they are mobilised in Lebanon.

The reasons why I selected PCRF to support include the fact that they have been able to deliver material aid, had pragmatic routes to evacuate children, and were reporting some success in providing/stabilising healthcare infrastructure. They have stated from the beginning that their intent was to support, and ideally restore, healthcare infrastructure, without which you cannot run a nation. I have known healthcare professionals who traveled with PCRF to work on complex cases prior to this conflict and I personally know/respect one of their prominent supporters, which helped me to make this choice. I also was hoping in the future that Gaza would have restored healthcare infrastructure and PCRF had stated their commitment to doing so.

I have received and listened to criticism about this choice, and I firmly believe that no matter what choice you make to support a cause, you’ll receive some measure of criticism (the fractal! Elodie you must consider the fractal nature of reality at all times! Scrupulous frantic morality is necessary at all times !), and that this should not stop you. To explain a bit about this, the criticisms I’ve received have mostly fallen into two camps:

- “the wrong sort of charity” - one concern is PCRF are not able to promise that their work will never support Hamas supporters or their families. This has been raised as “PCRF support Hamas”. but genuinely, given the realities of conflict, it is not practical or sane to require that people bring proof of political affiliation when seeking healthcare for their children. I’m comfortable saying that this, like other risks of fundraising/donation, is always possible but not a major consideration for me.

- “the wrong sort of fundraiser” - conversely some people stated they’d prefer I support individual families seeking evacuation through GFMs. This is also fine but my choice in the charity was partly in thinking about families who do not have GFMs, and children who do not have families. I also felt, at the time of fundraising, that supporting healthcare infrastructure was very worthy in a different way - after all, at the time the same people doing GFMs were also using/needing what healthcare was available.

My shoulders are broad, and I’m comfortable with these criticism. I am fully aware that this is not a complete solution but I personally continue to support the charity. I am explaining this to indicate that there will always be criticisms; you must accept that you can only take a small piece of the fractal, and you must accept that quite a lot of the fractal was never in your gift to control.

The situation is constantly changing and with the departure of organisations there is genuinely less hope of materially restoring the infrastructure in Gaza. At the moment donations to PCRF will likely be mobilised to Lebanon. It may be that this speaks to you. It does still speak to me.

Ultimately while it’s important to do research, it is always going to become fractal, especially in conflict situations. Nobody’s ever going to be able to point to a perfect thing that will fix everything and absolve us of criticism, you know? You will always only be able to pick up a piece of the fractal.

Now moving away from “what I personally support” there are many people more informed than myself and I would like to direct you to them as well. @gothhabiba is someone I follow who has posted several very useful posts about this and has been extremely informative, and spent a lot of time and attention on this, so I would defer to the resources and fundraisers they’ve put together. Her response to a similar question has been “pick 1-3 personal fundraisers” - this is a piece of the fractal. At the moment if what you want to do most is “materially help people in Gaza” that seems like the best option.

Also he doesn’t post much on social media, but when you get the opportunity to read a scientific article or anything by https://x.com/sullivanprof it’s worth stopping and processing. To me, Richard’s life work really shows how a piece of the fractal unpacks to reveal the whole world. I think if you have emotional space to research, it’s honestly a good investment to read some of his “manifestos” on intersections of healthcare and conflict.

[aster-is-confused]

if i had a nickel for every time the dragon prince had a plotline of "character becomes physically disabled as a sacrifice to save someone, but then gets 'fixed' by magic in less than an episode," i'd have two nickels, which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice

[mistresskayla-blog1]

Considering Chimera

Lyn's Writing Event Day 4

May 4th : Week 1: Chimera   18+

In Chimera legend, “an illusion of the mind; especially an unrealized dream”

Characters: Dr Scott White x OC Jennifer Turner

Fandom: Richard Armitage – Sleepwalker

Warnings: disabled person, angst, paralysis, mind control, somatization, dream control, stalking.

Word count: 1.5k (part 1)

It started one day, Scott was crashing hard after work in the morning and sleeping so hard he woke up disoriented and sweaty. He didn’t normally lose his control over his own mind, but the women in his dreams was getting stronger. He used to just see flashes in his dreams, a blonde smiling, a touch of her hand on his arm, a fantastical story that his mind followed like a movie you couldn’t look away from. But each night, it was more and more, and he had no idea who this woman was. Her face was etched in his mind, and he could draw her if he had that talent.

Scott sat up in bed midday and wiped his face with his hand, slow, the stubble of his beard growing out and soft. He looked at his watch, “2 pm, ok. Well maybe I’ll go for a run or something”, he said to the room, chuckling, “I wonder if I have seen this woman out and I just never put two and two together,” he got up and started the shower, letting the heat of the water revive his sensations and wake up to the present moment. Scott dried off, and got dressed, putting on his running shoes and setting a playlist for a run. He left his apartment, and started jogging almost immediately, heading for the hills about a mile away. If he sweat enough, Scott thought, ‘Maybe I can sweat this woman out of my mind’.

---

              You had seen him one day out on the trail and were enthralled by his height, build and endurance. You made a wish to yourself that you would find a way to get to him. But how, do you get someone you cannot meet to speak to you?  You were stuck in this wheelchair, watching the beautiful landscape outside. Wanting to be free, wanting to be healed, but knowing there was nothing you could do about your fate. Mark had made his claim to you with his attack, and you were a “saint” everyone said to pull through and heal as much as you had. But you were still paralyzed, and that isn’t something you can wake up from. So you chose to spend a lot of time, voraciously reading, and fantasizing, and writing and finding out how the mind can heal the body, and how the mind can maybe talk to other minds? It sounded crazy right? But maybe you were just clever and focused enough to do it. Maybe we really could create illusions and create worlds in other’s minds, just as easily as we could our own. Isn’t that what movies do for us, give us that stimuli of an accepted human experience?

              Jennifer put her journal down and sipped some water from her seating area. Her apartment overlooked the park, and she got to see all the runners’ jog by her several times a day. Today was a particularly breezy and warm Californian afternoon and her aid, Nancy had opened her windows so the spring breeze and blossom filled scent just filled her space with promise. Jenn missed running, she missed the feel of the wind on her skin, the sweat and high that came from pushing that extra half mile or so. She had made it through several marathons, but it only took one asshole one day to destroy her life.

---

              Jennifer saw him again, huffing and puffing around the bend in the trail, sweat seeping through his t-shirt, his legs long as he took giant strides, his feet hitting the pavement in that rhythmic way. She closed her eyes and focused, smiling as she saw his face in her mind’s eye. Scott felt a tingle in his temple and shook it off, toppling over a hedge and crashing into a flower bed. A woman walking a dog, stopped to check on him, and Jennifer opened her eyes to see him collect himself off the ground embarrassed. He looked up towards Jennifer’s building and Jennifer scooted her seat closer to the window, looking down, “Please see me please see me,” She said out loud. Scott caught his breath and rubbed his sweaty brow with his even sweatier arm.  The sun was still cresting and mirroring the glass fronted building across from the park, but he still felt a sensation to look up. He squinted, and when a cloud came to block the sun a moment, he saw two flashing eyes looking down at him from the, “2, 3, 4, 5” Scott counted out loud, “5th floor,” he looked back down to the door manned building and crossed the street to it.

Jennifer’s eyes grew wide, “Oh shit!” she blurted. Nancy came in from the kitchen, “DO you need something, love?” Nancy’s Irish lilt always snapped Jennifer back from her revelry. Jennifer turned to her, “Hey, actually I may have a visitor soon, could you, um.. help me get back to living room?” Nancy smiled, “Of course, let’s get your chair”. Nancy went towards the wheelchair in the corner, and placed the lift assist board under Jennifer’s butt, carefully transferring her to the chair. Jennifer placed her arms around Nancy’s neck for help, Jennifer still had her upper body support, but her legs were now for show. Her team said, she may recover some more, over time, but she had to do her exercises. She had to follow through and want to heal, and until she met, well, until she saw her running man, she didn’t have a reason to.

---

              Scott approached a burly looking man in a red uniformed suit at the building marked with a large metallic 724 above the overhang entranceway. The doorman was posted and smiled at him warmly. “Hello sir, how can I assist you?”  Scott paused, “Hey, I was wondering if I could see the woman on the 5th floor please?” The doorman looked at him, “Do you have a name, Sir?” Scott blew out a breath, “No, not exactly. Sorry” chuckles. “Well I can’t just let you in,” the doorman’s phone buzzed, “excuse me, a second,” Scott was wiping his face off again, with his short sleeve and whipping the sweat out of his hair, “Of course, sure”. The doorman returned, “She will see you now, its 514, Ms. Turner”. Scott blazed a smile again, “Thanks”, the doorman cleared his throat, “You might take care, she is a very sweet girl, and if I were you I would come back after you’ve cleaned yourself up”. Scott paused, looking at him seriously, then looking down at himself. Scott turned on his heel and left the building, “You know what, your right, thank you. What was your name?” “Burt, sir. Glad I could help”.  He nodded. Scott nodded back in respect and crossed the street again heading back for his apartment.

Jennifer was nervous, if she could pace she would, so instead she wore a hole in the floor with her eyes, and wrung her hands on a rag, like those dames used to do during the war. “Where is he, Burt would have let him up by now,” She called back down to Burt, “Burt? Did you send him up?” Burt cleared his throat, “Ms. Turner, I told him to come back more presentable, and he agreed”. Jennifer rolled her eyes, and tried to sound appreciative, “That’s very sweet of you, Burt, you didn’t have to do that. I just wanted to speak with him is all”.  Burt, paused, “Ms. Turner, I just want you to know that it is my job to maintain the safety of all the residents here”.

Jennifer cut in, “I know, but I don’t think he is a threat”.  “We do not know that yet Ms. Turner, I just think it doesn’t hurt to wait it out”. Jennifer sighed, “Well I certainly have time, don’t I, Burt”. Burt grimaced audibly, “I’m sorry Ms. Turner I did not mean anything by it, I’m sorry”. Jennifer’s heart smoothed, “Thank you Burt for looking after me, I appreciate it”. “Of course” Burt said and then hung up. Nancy looked at Jennifer inquisitive, “He’s not coming up then?” She shook her head, “That Burt is a good soul though, really looks after you” Jennifer shook her head, “He’s just a sweet old man, there’s nothing to worry about”. Nancy chuckled, “Well he doesn’t turn his head for me, fray and I talk him up an awful lot when I go out”. Jennifer giggled, “You have a thing for Burt, do you?” Nancy smiled, “Oh my yes, he’s so plump and sweet, I could eat him up, but I won’t” She giggled too. Nancy went back to her duties, and Jennifer rolled herself back to the window. She knew she wouldn’t see him, but now that he knew where she lived, it was only a matter of time before he came back to her.

(more to come… stay tuned)

@legolasbadass @fizzyxcustard @middleearthpixie @linasofia @riepu10 @scariusaquarius @lathalea

#Lyn's writing Event

[scratchandplaster]

What Remains

CW: referenced murder, ghosts, supernatural Whumpee, Whumper-turned-Whumpee

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Whumper lies awake for another night. The cobalt-blue specter at the foot of his bed guards any sleep, a silent whine is their constant escort. Through the moonlight, every lash and stab wound glows visible on their defiled shape: translucent, floating above the carpet floor.

"My body," the living dead whispers with a hollow tone.

When they speak, nothing but these words leave them. For weeks now, even after Whumper thought he got rid of them, the haunting cold they bring with leaves him restless, unable to close his eyes for even a second. As a single tear slips down onto the pillow, the sunken-in stare rests on Whumper's helpless body.

This would be a waking night, like they all had been; it didn't matter in which room or which house he might have tried to flee to, ever since Whumper squeezed the last breath out of the cursed guest, they decided to pay a visit until sunrise.

"My body."

It had been a mistake to take them in, there were plenty of folk that would have made fitting additions to his collection. Unmoving, Whumper prays to a nameless force to end this, to let him rest.

But they can't be reasoned with, their request will never be fulfilled. Even before the first haunting, it had been too late; the object of desire was thrown in the bog, like Whumper did to all of his guests. 

So he just withers away also, alive but fading into nothingness.

"My body!" the phantom howls desperately, as if they can read the thoughts of their torturer like a book.

What else could they be offered? What satiates a trapped soul? Desperation catches on, and Whumper finally joins their hopeless whining.

"I'll do anything," he mutters, still frozen in endless horror, "just let me be. What can I give to you?"

A long silence settles between them but apart from the electric purr around, only a sudden hint breaks it:

"A body."

・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・・

Thanks for reading 🤍 [Masterpost]

[nebucat]

spending a couple weeks away from home and away from my toxic parent in a loving and comfortable environment at my partner's home has been an interesting and eye opening experience.

[skarlette1]

An Intimate Dinner

It promised to be a long night. “I’m so glad you agreed to meet me for a private dinner, Ms. Payes,” said Vanessa Vayne as she watched the billionaire head of Payestech chew a forkful of tender shallots. “How could I refuse a ten million dollar donation to the Payestech Charitable Foundation? And please, call me ‘Penelope.’“ the genius, philanthropist, bon vivant replied, taking another bite of…

[travalistocata]

one of the small things i love about babylon 5 is the high population of pretty women who act like lunatics, which as a gay man simply activates my Diva Worship gene and makes me unable to criticize a single one of them

[fairymint]

the fucking trollish urge that I have to send one of those 'sex starter gif' things, you click to it, and the website says oopsie!~<33 404 this page went missing woopsie byebye!

[eggsistential-basket]

how it feels getting trapped in a sleep paralysis/false awakening loop for 40 minutes while trying to take a nap right before having to make a phone call

[atlantic-grave]

Late night daydreaming created the duality of THK.

Angry floofen shit and anxious nightmare creature

Since my handwriting is funky here's the text

For Hollow!

Emotionally constipated and ANGRY

Feathers

Round face (+ Expressive!)

Short

Robust + Thicc

Skeletal tail

For Silvas!

Tired + Reclusive

Big aah head (NOT expressive)

Scrawny Vulture

(Torn) Wings

Tol

Bug Butt

[sun-marie]

pioneers of olive town has consumed me i fear

[twinsfawn]

𖤐

[mallo-person]

God damn, being practically paralyzed when waking up from a dream for what feels like forever is just not it man...

[daeley]

[therewithinthestars]

shout out to levi to still somehow being my comfort character that i remember in the middle of nasty sleep paralysis attacks despite not being in aot fandom for years (the only comfort character i can remember in those moments btw)

[ultimate-snek]

I’ve got some bad news for the Miguel O’Hara fans.