#continuation to Mirror Casket

[ghost-bxrd]

Jason didn’t think it could get any worse, but the universe just loves proving him wrong on that front.

Beaten within an inch of his life with a crowbar? Don’t worry buddy, I gotcha. How about we make it worse with some explosives?

Your alternate self got kidnapped and tortured by the Joker? Golly gee, really gotta step up my game now! How about we make him so fucking traumatized he will tell you which knife is best to torture him with?

Fuck. Fucking fuck. Jason wants a fucking refund on this whole dimension travel bullshit. Because this? This is some A-grade clusterfuck. He’d rather deal with goddamn Sionis than— whatever this is. Jesus.

— sneak peek of “It Is All True” (aka. the Arkham Knight Au continuation)

[allforthegaymes]

Andrew sat in the fbi interrogation alongside Neil, stuck between trying to decide wether to keep his wary eyes on the agents sat across from them or to keep his eyes locked on Neil, as if he’ll disappear again if he loses sight of him at any point.

Instead he keeps a finger hooked around one of Neils belt loops and sets himself to memorizing every word out of Neils mouth, keeping a watch on the agents to make sure they dont make a sudden attempt to go back on their words.

Which means he gets the first hand sight of how other people would react to hearing about what Neil’s gone through. And while he’d accepted every word from Neils mouth without a facial reaction, watching how the agents react make him think maybe he shouldve.

(The whispered thanks from Neil afterwards about Andrew not looking at him differently changes his mind)

The only part that really makes him freeze is when Neil begins the talk of his mothers death. Andrews all too familiar with dead mothers in cars, but hearing about the gun wound, the vinyl seats sticking to a half burnt away body, the bone burial along the beach. Neil stutters only once during his recounts, where he slips and mentions the smell.

He compares it to the scent of cigarettes, used Andrew’s one marlboro reds as a reference and suddenly all those rooftop rendezvous together makes more sense.

Neils half smoked cigarettes, never stubbed out but left to continue burning on the concrete next to them while they sit and talk. The way he only does stub them out when talking about his parents, or when Andrew mentions something about his own mom, or when Andrew says anything about the earlier days with Aaron.

Neil stops talking for a moment after that. Lost in thought.

And as always, Andrew follows him half a step behind.

Neils adamant claims during their zombie apocalypse walks with Renee around the track that he would always burn their friends bodies to make sure they dont come back from the dead.

The way he always leaves the room when they watch the newest episode of that stupid viking show that Aaron and Kevin like to watch and theres a burning boat funeral.

The way he-

And then Neil starts talking to the fbi agents again and Andrew is forced to tune back in and tuck away those thoughts till later.

He tells them about what happened in Baltimore.

The torture from Lola. The dashboard lighter pressing seared wounds into his skin. Over the tattoo, scattered across his arms, the faint marks from where she tried to burn holes through his jeans to get to his thighs. Saved only half as well as they were by the fact he’d worn a pair of the carhartt work pants Andrew had bought for him and not a pair of the threadbare thrift store jeans he usually wore.

Andrew makes the mental note to stop using his own dashboard lighter to light the cigarettes he smokes in the car. And to swap cigarette brands. And to stop smoking in the car.

And then its about the trunk of the car, the way Lola had held onto him and the comments she made in the car, the basement, the offhanded mention about how Nathan was barefoot when he walked down the stairs.

The little details that only someone who’s truly grasping for any recollection in a traumatic moment would retain. The way even when Nathan was walking down to tear Neil limb from limb, Neil still couldnt bring himself to look at his fathers face. The face that Neil shares. The face Neil still avoids looking at when he walks past the mirror in the hall in Columbia.

And he thinks about the way Neil shied away from Wymack in the beginning, the way he now searches for Wymacks face whenever they get separated from their coach at away games.

The gun shots during the Hatford raid, the way even though Neil was bruised and battered he still found himself with a smile on his face when he saw Lola’s body get blasted apart by silenced guns.

The way he knew even if they got a proper funeral no one down there would get to have an open casket. The evidence in their bullet shattered bones that their bodies would never rest peacefully. That people in a thousand years would know from the unmarked graves and their remains that they deserved whatever ended them.

And then he claims it goes dark, he says it with the same way Neil lies about everything else, with his body forced relaxed to not twitch and give himself away, but he breathes a little heavier when he calmly tries to describe the way he came to and found himself being helped by the emergency services, feigning he doesnt know what theyre actually called, playing into the runaway kid sent on the road too young and not knowing completely how the world works still.

Andrew wishes he didnt know Neil well enough to know its only half real. Wishes he didnt know Mary probably only taught Neil how to recognize and run from EMT’s, and never actually explained what EMT was meant to stand for.

Andrew knows first hand how hard it is to gain sympathy from government officials, but Neil’s got them eating out of his hand with the way he words his story, their final nail in the coffin to take down the Wesninski trails in Baltimore and beyond.

Neil knows they need him and he knows how to play them to believe whatever story he deems they’re worthwhile to hear.

[neoneun-au]

THE MIRROR-BLUE NIGHT; ACT I

―PAIRING: joshua hong x fem!reader ―GENRE: SLOW burn, affair au, suggestive, angst, romance ―CHAPTER WORD COUNT: 11.2k ―CHAPTER WARNINGS: mild language, very minimal josh in this chapter (sorry), death mentions, cheating, lots of introspection ―STATUS: ongoing

―AUTHOR'S NOTE: this is act i to my entry for svthub's world tour collab. it's heavily inspired by wong kar wai's film 'in the mood for love', and it's been fun to play around with a totally different atmosphere and setting, and i hope everyone that reads this enjoys it! if you do, please consider reblogging with your thoughts and comments i would love to hear them. hopefully before long i will have the following two acts out for you to continue <3

ACT I

. . .

It’s raining. You hear the patter of droplets as they fall against your windows, a symphony of sorrows cascading from gray skies. When you were a child your mother used to tell you that the rain meant the heavens were crying. That some angel high above was weeping for the sorrow of those below–for the tragedy of humankind. She made up a lot of lies when you were young, stories to either make you feel better or to just force you to stop asking her questions while she was trying to watch her favourite shows. 

It never worked, and you never believed her. 

It was raining, too,  on the day that you cremated her. A near torrential downpour that had washed out the roads on your way to the funeral home and caused a four car pile up on the on ramp. You made it, breathless and haggard, just in time to drip your way through the procession to the front of the church pews where you sat, cloaked in the black of mourning, to watch a small line of people espouse pretty stories and prettier lies about the woman who raised you. 

Were you sad about her death? Of course you were. Death was always sad, in some deeply philosophical and uniquely human way. The ending of all things–life moving onwards to something better (or worse). Leaving everyone else behind to deal with the sorrow and suffering and debt. You could feel her death around you everywhere you went. The last breath of her life sighing over you on windy streets, the final whisper of her words in the chattering of birds in the morning dew. She was omnipresent. Oppressive. Somehow even more than she had been when she was alive. A heavy shroud over your every move. 

You were sad about her death, but you did not feel the pang of it in your heart as you might have if she had been anyone else. Instead it was abstract–elusive. A fleeting thought that followed you throughout the day. A thought that you were sure would dissipate over time. Molecule by molecule as her soul moved on from this world it would dissolve and you would finally be left standing in a life of your own making, no longer bent to the will of the woman who molded you to fit neatly into her own life. Her death was sad but it also finally opened you up the hope for freedom. 

When it was your turn to speak, after the mass had ended and the few other speakers had said their peace with your mother overseeing from inside her casket, you hesitated. Standing in front of the crowd of people that had managed to crawl their way through traffic for the promise of a free lunch and a voyeuristic look at the poor, bereft daughter left to deal with this whole mess. The only remaining relative of this woman that had made everyone’s life around her a living hell. You stared out at their faces, blank with waiting, and expected the words you had prepared to come out as you had rehearsed. None ever did. You stood silent under the scrutiny of a hundred eyes and seconds ticked by into minutes as the blank expressions morphed into confusion or pity. Even your husband’s carefully neutral expression devolved into one of concern as he stared up at you from his seat. 

Thunder clapped outside the church, the rain picked up speed, buffeting the stained glass windows in its fury, and you thought that maybe your mother hadn’t been lying to you when you were a child. Maybe it was her fury that was clinging to your clothing–soaking you to the bone. 

You left the altar without a word–just one apologetic glance cast over the audience of mourners–and sat back down next to your husband. Head held high against the brewing storm. You realised finally that you had nothing to say. 

For your husband’s part, he played it well at the time. His silent hand found yours and gripped it tight as you both kept your gazes focused on the priest as he tried his best to stitch the proceedings back together after the abandoned eulogy. He kept your hand in his throughout the rest of the funeral–from the end of the mass, through the reception, and all the way to the committal he was there with you. The anchor at your side. 

When had he stopped? 

When had he stopped being there–holding your hand, playing his part as your partner through it all on this grand stage of life. When had he decided he no longer wanted to be that? 

You watch a rivulet of rain carve a line through the reflection of your face, splitting you in two as you stare out through the window in your living room and into the neon darkness of the city surrounding you. Who were the heavens sad for tonight? 

For your own part, you couldn’t bring yourself to feel much sadness. Only a hollow aching at the pit of your stomach, like a hunger long ignored. Gnawing at your insides as you stare out into some unfixed point on the horizon and wait for your husband to return home. Late, again. Always late these days. Always some excuse or another. Traffic, work, friends wanting to grab drinks, errands to run. Tonight though, perhaps, the excuse would be the rain. 

With a sigh you abandon your post at the window, floating through the apartment by the dim light of the city pouring inside. No reason to turn the lights on inside–you knew your way around. The remnants of your dinner sit undisturbed on the kitchen counter, steam long since evaporated, as they wait for a mouth to enter, a stomach to fill. You had lost your appetite when you received the text message. 

You knew it was coming, had known for months. At first it was easy to trick yourself into believing that nothing had changed at all. Everything was normal. These excuses were all truths and you were in fact in the wrong for not believing your husband when he told you. After a time this denial stopped working, however, and you moved on to believing that the changes were only superficial–temporary–that the fissure that had opened up in your marriage was not a yawning pit preparing to engulf you but an easily repairable crack in the foundation. Before long he would return to you as a ship to the shore. He would pour out his feelings and you would mend them easily, with tears of your own. Your relationship would grow in strength for enduring this storm and all would be well again. 

As the days and months dragged on, though, it grew harder to ignore the signs. You had seen them so many times before–on television, in film, in friends’ relationships, in your own parents’ marriage before it fell apart when you were 9. 

A whiff of an unfamiliar perfume in the air, breezing behind your husband as he enters the apartment after work–orange blossom, ginger, patchouli and jasmine. Cloying and heady. A scent of seduction and sex in the wake of a man that hadn’t touched you in days. He waited to kiss you hello now, waited until he had changed out of his clothes, maybe until after he had a shower. You would sit, perched on the arm of the couch, and stare out the window of your living room while he scrubbed the scent of another woman off of his skin. 

More evidence collected over the next few months. Pastel purple and blue splotches dotting the nape of his neck–just above the birthmark you used to trace over with a loving fingertip in the early days of your marriage. Lipstick stains faded on the white collar of a shirt–brick red, a shade that never painted your own lips. He was getting careless–bold. And you continued to observe without a word. Maintaining the calm on the surface of your life, letting the stains and perfume to sink deep underneath. 

Maybe you should have confronted him early on, when the days were still young and you still had lingering affection for this man that was becoming a stranger to you. You should have yelled, screamed, fought, let your tears flow freely in a torrent of anger and betrayal. Every rational thought in your mind was screaming out for you to face him down and do something. You would work yourself into a fury of anger and anxiety waiting for him to come home but the second he stepped across the threshold of your apartment, all of it dissolved. Melted away into nothingness and left only that old, hollow ache until that was all you had left inside.

You remember how your mother had reacted when she found out about your dad’s affair. The consequences were swift and brutal–a storm of emotions and rage bursting out and swallowing everyone in its vicinity. If rain was sadness, surely her rage had been a tsunami. Your dad left and you retreated–into your room, into yourself. Left alone to rebuild in the wake of this natural disaster. 

When you got married your mother warned you–warned you of your duties as a wife. To keep him happy, keep him home, and remember that marriage is work. Life was so hard after your father abandoned us, she would say, don’t let the same happen to you. She would sermonize his weakness and cruelty, and you would listen. But you loved your father, in spite of all his flaws and humanity. He was kind and soft-hearted and you never blamed him for what happened, how could it all have been his fault? This one man that bought you ice cream and tanghulu and took you shopping for school uniforms up until he died? No. You blamed your mother.

What would she say to you now, sitting alone in the dark staring at a photo of your husband with his arm slung casually over the shoulders of another woman, her head resting against him with a soft smile on her face. Pathetic, spineless child. 

You shrug off the ghost of your mother and focus back on the picture. They were in a restaurant, tucked into a corner booth. The low lighting cast soft shadows over their faces, obscuring the details of their features, but there was no doubt in your mind that  it was him.  It was the same slope of brow and cheek that you have run your fingers over so many times before. The same slight upturn in the corners of the mouth that you fell in love with. The glimmer of mischief and daring that so easily drew you in when you first started dating, now turned towards someone else. A stranger? You were sure you didn’t know her but there was something familiar about her in the photo, something about her profile that tugged at the recesses of your recollection. 

Your imagination has been running frantic circles in your mind since you opened the message. Where had he met her? Work? He wasn’t a part of any clubs, didn’t play mahjong on the weekends with friends, hadn’t been selected for any work trips where he might have brushed elbows with her in a conference. Might have snuck into each other's hotel rooms, followed each other onto the plane. She could have been a stewardess–as alluring as they are professional. An untouchable creature bending to your every whim and all you can do is look and hope and wish. Slip her your number as you disembark, pray she deems you worthy enough to contact. 

But he hadn’t been out of the city in at least a year. So that couldn’t be it. 

Maybe she had a more humble occupation. She worked at the hot pot restaurant his company frequented after work. That was how you had met so is it so out of the realm of possibilities that lightning might strike twice? 

Maybe he had always known her. Maybe you were the other woman–some twist of fate had led him to marrying you instead of his highschool sweetheart. A girl that had occupied his mind for longer than you had known him. Maybe she had traveled after graduation–moved to the US and taken his heart with her while he pined away and finally, losing all hope, he settled for the strange girl with the zealot of a mother. Turned you into a project to fill his loneliness and occupy his thoughts until she returned and he was reminded of all the things that she had been for him that you never could. 

Maybe. 

Or maybe she was just a whore. 

Your thoughts flitter back and forth; all possibilities confronting you at once, neon red  in alarm. You watch taxis and motorbikes speed through traffic on the rain soaked street 15 stories below your apartment–each one weaving a new thread of anxiety in your mind as you wait for one to stop in front of your building. Wait for your husband to emerge, shielding himself from the rain and rushing to get inside before his white-collared shirt is soaked through with the sins of his flesh. 

He arrives shortly after you give up waiting and prepare for bed. The rain has begun to let up and with it he steps through the front door of your apartment while you sit perched on the edge of your bed, running a hand over the embroidered silk duvet coverlet you had received as a wedding present. You listen as he drops his keys, briefcase, coat onto the kitchen counter. Focus on the sound of his footfall as he  walks through the short hallway to the bathroom. He doesn’t see you sitting in the dark, doesn’t seek you out to greet you. You watch as he flicks the light on to the bathroom and shuts the door behind him. The sound of the shower running follows a few moments afterwards. 

You brace yourself when he enters the dark bedroom after washing himself free of the day. Body tense as he slips under the blanket beside you. The anticipation of something, anything, stiffens in your muscles and you wait for him to say something, to give you some explanation for his whereabouts. Nothing comes. He, believing you to be asleep, slips too into the arms of the night and you’re left alone–staring blankly into the dark of the room before you give into the heaviness of your eyes. 

Morning dawns, grey and overcast. You’re alone again, your husband having left for work with the tin of leftovers you had pre-packed for him, and the day stretches out in front of you–long and lonely–as you shove all thoughts of last night to the back of your mind and turn your attention to the household tasks that require it. 

The fluorescent lights of the supermarket buzz overhead as you make your way through the aisles with a basket hanging on your arm. You know what you’re getting–you’ve rotated through the same small selection of meals since you were 11 years old and started cooking for yourself–but you take your time anyway. Wandering through the rows of produce, fish, and imported goods. Enjoying the distant company of strangers, their idle chatter and routine conversations are a welcome reprieve from the oppressive silence that has dominated your apartment over the past few months. 

You drift to the fruits, letting their bright colours draw you in, and reach for a melon. It’s heavy in the hand, weighed down with the density of the flesh inside. It would be delicious–perfectly ripe, bursting with flavour and juice–you could almost salivate at the thought of slicing into it, bringing a cube of its sweetness to the tip of your tongue. You haven’t had it in ages. Your husband was not fond of fruits–he never had been. Always preferred spice and heat over sweetness, and you were more than happy to accommodate–to oblige his tastes and sacrifice your own for the sake of love. But now? 

The melon stares up at you in askance and you set it back on the stand with its brethren before you can give the temptation a second thought. As soon as you do, a hand reaches out to grab it, neatly manicured fingers wrapping around the fruit still warm from your touch. You smell her perfume before you see her face–that aroma of orange blossom, patchouli,  and jasmine (with a hint of ginger) cutting through the air of the supermarket like a knife through fruit. It’s even more overwhelming first hand. You turn your head, catching a glimpse of her face, her bright red lips, before she turns away and clacks towards the green wall of vegetables. 

You follow transfixed behind her as she weaves her way through the market, picking up an array of items as she goes. Mindlessly you fill your basket behind her, hands reaching out for whatever as you try to disguise your objective. You had only seen one blurry photo of her, clandestinely snapped with her head buried in the crook of your husband’s arm, but you would know her anywhere. In fact you did know her. Not by name, you had never been introduced, but you recognize her instantly now in the bright noonday lights of the shop. 

She lives in your building, a few floors up, you were sure of it. You had run into her in the elevator a few times, never exchanging a word, but always evaluating each other with that cold calculation of strangers destined to become rivals. Not that you knew that at the time. She had a husband. A man with kind eyes and a kind smile. You weren’t sure if it made you feel better or worse to know that you weren't alone in your suffering, that someone else was tied to the other end of this red string that entangled the four of you in its noose-tight vice. 

Does she recognize me? you wonder as you get in line a few people behind her at the register. Your eyes remain fixed on the back of her head while she pays and you tap your foot in anxious impatience as her form disappears through the doors and you’re left waiting for the elderly woman in front of you to deal out her entire coin purse to the cashier for spring onions and flour.

Finally you step out into the streets, bag of assorted groceries clutched tight in your fist, and you whip your head around to try to locate her. It doesn’t take long–she’s a flash of red in a sea of black–and you hasten your stride to catch up with her as she rounds the corner towards your apartment building, taking care to maintain a neutral expression. You trail her over the few blocks it takes to get back home, pulse quickening whenever her step halts–paralysed with the fear that she may turn around and realise what you’re doing. 

Does she  know who you are? Aa a neighbour, maybe, but as the wife of the man she’s having an affair with? Has he told her about you, have they shared jokes in confidence at your expense? Or are you some shameful secret he has kept hidden in his coat pocket. Maybe he slips his wedding band off before each meeting, spinning it around his finger thrice before tucking it out of sight, alongside his conscience. Does he know about her husband? Does her husband know about him the way you know about her? Were the same thoughts turning over in his mind as he sat at his desk at work, staring idly at their wedding photo? 

You follow her, a few paces behind, through the lobby of your shared building. Part of you–a bold, reckless part–wants to slip into the elevator with her, just before the doors can slide closed. Meet her face to face. Confront her and lay bare your knowledge of her discretion. Maybe she would cry, maybe she would yell, maybe she would laugh. Not one of the scenarios you envision ends with you triumphant, in each one your husband’s arms reach forth to comfort her and leave you standing alone, consumed with the red hot fires of rage and seething hate. 

You push that part of you away, back into the shadows, and watch as  she gets into the elevator. The numbers on the display above the doors climb higher and higher as she ascends and you hold your breath, waiting for them to halt. 22. Higher up than your own, more expensive. So it wasn’t money that had drawn her to your husband. You jam your finger against the button, calling the lift back down and wrestling between going home with this new knowledge or feeding into your curiosity and following her up to her door. Would you know the right one if you saw it? 

You press both floor numbers when you finally climb into the elevator, staring at the illuminated buttons as you slowly ascend. You stand still, staring at number 22, and wait as you move up and up–torn between the two options you’ve given to yourself. The doors finally slide open to reveal your floor, 15, and you stare out into the empty hallway, waiting for some unseen force to push you out of the lift. To make up your mind for you. Nothing does, and you just stand silent and still, frozen in time until they slide closed once more and you’re left looking blankly at your own twisted expression in the stainless steel. You keep eye contact with the twisted version of yourself reflected back at you and wait as the elevator continues its ascent. 

What were you hoping to gain from following this woman? Confirmation that she is, indeed, real? As if the brush of her arm against yours as she stretched out for your relinquished fruit hadn’t been enough to convince you. Her head bobbing through the crowds of people on the street as you kept pace behind her was just a figment of your imagination. Did you think you would find him there? Waiting for her? Eating slices of fruit from her outstretched hands in an act of worship? Your reflection purses her lips, eyebrows knit in thought, and you shake your head at her in askance, a silent plea, before the elevator finally stops at floor 22. 

The door slides open for the second time and you brace yourself to alight, but your path is blocked. 

“Oh, sorry,” he says, stepping aside to give you space to pass, “are you getting off here?” 

You freeze on the spot, standing on the threshold of a million converging thoughts as they crash through your mind. His smile is the same as you remember it, soft and kind. The smile of someone for whom life was easy, someone who hadn’t seen much strife. Or perhaps the opposite . Someone who had seen all the horrors life had to offer him and chose to remain soft despite them. You’re distantly aware that you look like a fool, standing there in the elevator with your mouth hanging slightly agape as you stare into the eyes of your husband’s mistress’ husband, but you can’t make yourself move. Paralyzed by a strange twist of fate that had, unbeknownst to him, entangled you in a web of deceit and betrayal.

Surely he didn’t know. 

“Is this your floor,” he asks again, prompting you to move or speak or do something more than just stand still as the elevator beeps its final warning. It wasn’t going to wait much longer. 

“N-no,” you stammer, trying to right your thoughts. “I was going down, actually.” In a panic you jam your finger against the button for floor 15. If he notices the obvious lie, he doesn’t say anything–instead politely skirting around you as he steps into the lift and presses the button for the ground floor.

The lift jerks as it starts to descend, and you hold your breath. Afraid that any movement might somehow reveal every thought you’re holding tight within. He keeps a polite distance, checking his phone as he stands in the opposite corner of the narrow, enclosed space. The elevator inches closer to your floor and your muscles tense in preparation to bolt through the door as soon as it slides open at floor 15. You stare up at the numbers as they transform–20, 19, 18. Eyes transfixed on the digital display as your brain whirrs with static noise. 

“We’ve met before, haven’t we?” You jerk your attention towards him as soon as he speaks, head spinning too fast to pass off your expression as casual and you’re sure that you look as panicked as you feel. “When we first moved into the building, I mean. It’s been a while but I recognize you.” 

You nod and take a second to clear your throat of the built up nerves before replying, voice trembling with a light quiver. “Yes, I uh–it’s been over a year now I think. I’m sorry but I don’t remember your name.”

He smiles–that same soft, kind smile as earlier–and shakes his head reassuringly. “It’s Joshua. Hong.” 

“Joshua?” your voice betrays a hint of curiosity–it’s not a common name here. 

“I moved here from LA years ago with my wife,” he supplies the answer to your unspoken question. Unwittingly adding a layer of intrigue to his personage that you hadn’t expected. At the mention of his wife, however, you feel the hairs on your arms rise to attention. A cold chill ripples through your body. The elevator dings, startling you out of your daze as it arrives at your floor. You turn to face the hallway as it appears between the doors, lingering astride the threshold between him and the emptiness ahead of you. Something inside of you hesitates, hanging back to remain in his presence despite the anxiety still flooding through your body. Something about the way he spoke had drawn you in, a strange curiosity taking root in your mind. You shake it loose; it’s not your place to say anything, and it’s not your place to further entangle yourself in this web. His life is his own. You take a step forward, finally clearing the door just before it beeps its insistence at you. 

You turn to say a farewell to Joshua–it wouldn’t bode well to appear impolite after he was so courteous to you a moment before–but before you can open your mouth to speak, he beats you to it. 

 “I think she and your husband know each other, actually. My wife,” he says, and you freeze again, stuck now staring at him from the hallway. He waves goodbye as the doors slide closed and you’re left standing statuesque in the hallways alone. Ears ringing with the echoes of his words. 

Does he know? 

Nothing in the way he held himself, in the casual expression gracing his handsome, well composed features would have led you to believe so but…why else would he have said that? 

You stand still, staring at the scuffed stainless steel doors of the elevator as if they might reopen and he might still be there. That he might dull the sharpness of your anxieties with some clarity . Instead you’re alone, bag of groceries cutting the circulation in your fingertips off as they hang forgotten in your hand.

You try to search the memory of his face as it lingers in your mind’s eye for any clue–any miniscule hint–as to what thought had been hiding beneath his calm facade. His face twists and contorts in your mind, swirling and transforming as you try to keep hold of the static image. Joshua, your husband, his wife, your own warped expression in the polished metal of the door. Many parts of an ever colliding whole. 

When you finally manage to get your legs moving and step away from the elevator the hallway seems to stretch out in front of you endlessly. You walk as if to the gallows, imagining all the horrors waiting for you when you open the door to your apartment. Your husband, Joshua’s wife. Limbs entangled in carnal desire. The heat of their bodies steaming the windows and fogging your vision as you stumble through the darkness. The thought overwhelms you, slows your already stuttering pace, though you know in your logical mind that no one’s there. She’s in her own apartment, and your husband is at work, and you’re alone. A state you’ve become numbly accustomed to. 

The familiar silence of your apartment is all that greets you when you finally enter, in spite of the baseless worries of your frazzled mind. It soothes the storm of worries clouding your mind as you stow away your meager haul of groceries and set out the ingredients needed for dinner. Joshua’s face fades to darkness as you slip back into routine–letting your hands take over and your mind to narrow to a single thought. 

So what if he did know. Would that change anything about your present circumstances? If he wanted a scene he had the chance to cause one and let it go. He could have held you in that elevator and interrogated you for all your husband’s many sins; pouring his hurt and betrayal out at your feet as you bear witness to your own anguish reflected in another person. But he didn’t. Instead he was polite, almost kind, and you parted without the cosmic clash the worst parts of you might have anticipated.  

The water for the noodles starts to boil and you quickly finish chopping your small array of vegetables before turning the heat down to simmer and tossing them in. Leftover shrimp lay on the side of your cutting board, ready to add in at the end. It was a lazy meal–one you never would have made early on in your marriage–but who cared about that now? You knew it would be the same routine tonight. Eating without tasting, alone in the kitchen, lit only by the light filtering in through the windows, while you stare at the clock on the wall. He’ll show up after you’re finished–maybe 15 minutes later, maybe an hour–and eat the portion set aside for him while you disappear into the bedroom and will the day to come to an end. 

Would Joshua’s night end the same or were he and his wife better at maintaining the charade of marriage? Were their hearts as distant when they lay in bed next to each other, barely touching? 

You had a hard time imagining it. You try, between mouthfuls of noodles and broth, to capture the image of them. Joshua sidestepping his wife in the kitchen, carefully avoiding her touch–her skin stained by the kiss of another man. Was his smile as soft and kind when turned upon the face of the woman who, with every breath she took, dared to remind him of the sadness that lurked beneath the surface of their life? Was the love he still held for her enough to erode all of her transgressions, even as she continued to transgress? Did he still hold her in his arms at night like no one else had ever touched her? Like he was the only one for her? Why, if he could so easily absolve her of her crimes, could you not do the same for the man you had promised yourself to? 

You shake your head, ridding yourself of the scene that was playing out. You knew nothing about this man–about his life or his thoughts. This scene you had conjured up, fleshed out with his feelings and emotions, was just a projection of some possible life dwelling within you.

But still, you couldn’t help but wonder. How different would things be if you tried?

The night drags on as all the previous ones have. You sit in front of the window, letting the TV drone on in the background, and stare down at the street below. Watching as people come and go–each with their own thoughts, their own lives, their own worries and desires. None more or less important than your own. It was comforting, in some odd way, to imagine the lives and futures of others. It took the distinct sting out of imagining our own. 

The front door opens, earlier than expected, and you glance over your shoulder to see him enter. He nods in greeting and you return the gesture before acting on an impulse you haven’t followed through on in months. You move towards him. You don’t even realise you’re doing it until his form comes into focus only a few feet in front of you. He doesn’t notice you right away, too busy reheating the noodles; you wait and you watch as he moves through the task with a slight droop to his shoulders. He’s tired. 

“How was work today?” you ask. The question spills unbidden from your mouth but you don’t rush to stop it. 

“Long,” he sighs, stirring the food as it begins to steam in the pot. There’s no hint of surprise or shock in his voice at your sudden interest in his day. He accepts it–whether from sheer exhaustion or ignorance of the deafening silence that has defined your life for the past few months. Maybe he never noticed how distant you were. How could he when he still held someone so close? “How was your day?”

“Fine,” you reply, intending to leave it at that before a thought flashes through your mind. “I ran into one of our neighbours earlier, in the elevator. Joshua Hong. We met them once or twice when he and his wife moved in just over a year ago, do you remember them?” 

“I can’t say that I do,” he shakes his head, flicking the heat off on the stove. His back is still turned, so you focus on his tone, on the micromovements of his muscles under his shirt. Searching for anything other than the polite disinterest he was feigning. Anything that might betray some feeling brewing below the surface. Fear, love, guilt. Anything at all. 

“Hmm, yeah I couldn’t remember him well either at first,” you agree, pausing to allow him the space to settle in, to pour his dinner into a bowl and sit down at the counter. He leans forward, blowing the steam away as he prepares to take a bite. “He mentioned you though,” you say finally, watching his face as he glances up at you with his chopsticks suspended above his bowl. “He mentioned you know his wife.” 

Silence. One brief, fleeting moment of hesitation. A slight lift of the eyebrow. You watch his Adam’s apple bob at the base of his throat, just above the knot of his tie. 

“That’s odd,” he replies, voice carefully neutral, he drops his gaze from yours and brings his chopsticks the rest of the way to his mouth to slurp up the hanging noodles. You stay silent, watching–waiting–as he finishes his bite before he continues. “He must be mistaken.” 

“Must be,” you nod, trailing a finger lazily over the countertop. You don’t say anything else. You don’t need to. You let the silence settle in between you–an observer of its own, interrogating him with the absence of speech. You’ve had months to become accustomed to it, to make friends of the stillness of the air in your apartment, but you can see as your husband carefully avoids your lingering gaze that he hasn’t. He’s been too preoccupied to even notice it as it slowly moved in, taking over his place at your side. 

After a few moments you shrug, straightening your posture and smoothing down the front of your dress–releasing him of the heaviness of your gaze. The atmosphere settles back into one of easy stalemate and your husband resumes eating in silence. Nothing more is said. You slip back into blue.

 You never wanted a traditional wedding. 

With your father long buried and your mother under the spell of religious fervor, you never saw any appeal in the tradition or ceremony. You felt estranged from your scattered family–disconnected from the broader world. You floated in blissful independence, living life on your own terms and only reigning it in to pay fealty to your mother when required. Then you met him. 

He was handsome–dark hair and dark airs and expertly sculpted features. The sort of handsome that was easy to overlook at first but unraveled more and more as soon as you tugged at a loose thread of it. You looked at him across the lecture hall and took your time, dissecting his profile as the lectern’s voice melted out into the distance. It didn’t take long for your introduction to follow these looks. College is like that. Friends of friends of friends, dorm rooms, study hangouts in the library. Before you could even notice, your blissful independence had given way to comfortable partnership. 

After college, still in the early days of your courtship, you had grand ideas of elopement. The last lingering strands of your individuality. Traveling to a foreign country, marrying on a beach under the stars, and not telling your families until you either came back or decided you were going to live out your wedded bliss and future marriage in the streets of Rio de Janeiro or Sydney. 

He would entertain these fantasies–feeding into them, one morsel at a time, filling you with the hope of your aligned future. Filling you to the point that when the proposal inevitably came you couldn’t see the hunger still gnawing inside of you. 

Your husband was a good son, and his family paid for the wedding. It took little effort for you to resign yourself to ceremony and cast aside your dreams for love. The story of every fool in the world. 

That should have been the moment you knew that this would not last. Or at least that the happiness and contentment that shrouded your relationship was just that–mere illusory material. If you could turn back time, redo the last years of your life, you would have taken your meager inheritance from your father and booked a one way flight to the US. Used what little connections you had from distant family to build a life and chase your dreams. Live for yourself instead of the external expectations that you had been raised to abide by. You could have sent your mother back what little extra income you had–supported her from a distance as she ruined her own life where you did not have to bear witness. 

Instead, like the perfect picture of a good daughter, you went along with your husband and his family’s wishes. You let them arrange the entire thing and you–a mere passenger in your own life–silently went through the motions. Assured by word and by every soft kiss that all your dreams would be realised once it was all over. Your hands would reach the farthest destinations of your imagination, your feet would touch the sands of your desire. You let yourself be carried forward into this future with a smile, unaware that the only sand your feet would see would be the foundations of your own life as it crumbled and fell around you. 

You could only blame yourself. Even your mother tried to warn you, in her own way. Her own misery bearing down on your throughout your life–her inevitable cracking under the weight of everyone else's dreams bearing down on her until she simply couldn’t take it anymore. If you had been smart you would have seen it for what it was when you were 12. 

But you didn’t. You continued to simply go with it, smile waning as the years began to drag on and none of those golden promises spoken to you at night ever materialised. Business was good, now was not the time to take a break away it would only spell financial ruin for yourself and your entire family. Fine, you could wait. Were happy to wait, in fact. Dutiful and loyal and ever patient as you filled your days with the duties you had accepted in spite of yourself. Homemaking, cleaning, cooking. You had longed to work yourself, use your degree for something other than simply occupying space on your wall, then in a drawer–but no, your obligation was to the home, to your husband. Business was good. It was the right time to start trying for children. Did you want children? Did it matter? 

The flames of passion burned bright in your union early on. Your skin was on fire in the moonlight, bathed in sweat and dappled by the heated kisses of your new husband. Your body felt like a temple of worship, and he was there to pay his respects. He was the first man you had ever been with and you felt like you had won the jackpot each night as he brought you to new heights with his devotion. 

Maybe it’s true what people say about newlyweds. That passion is fleeting. The newness and excitement of having each other at the tips of your fingers would inevitably dull down until even sex simply became a part of your daily routine. A task to be completed, to stave off the questions of family and friends speculating on the growth of your family. Yours wasn’t meant to grow, though, it seemed. No matter how often you came together in pursuit of it, your monthly courses came as consistent as the full moon. Month after month until you stopped trying.

But there was love there, in the beginning. You think about it still, lying silent in the vast wilderness of your marital bed next to your sleeping husband. When you think to yourself  ‘how could I have let this happen’ your mind drifts back to those moments–wrapped up tightly in his embrace as he peppered your face, neck, shoulders, with kisses and promised you the world. How could you have known that it was built on such faulty foundations? That it would all drift away over time? 

You run a slow finger over your thigh, tracing the paths that he would take each night before. Remembering the love that you had shared. Wondering if the woman he shares it with now feels it as deeply as you had. Did he think of you when he was with her or had she eclipsed you completely in his memory? Was her back the only one that arched as he was deep inside her, spilling his love into her? 

The thought digs its barbed wires into your chest–ripping and tearing at what little tenderness you still held for the man. You let the pain sing you to sleep–weeping and burning for what once was and what might never be again as you let the darkness consume you in the dim blue of your bedroom. 

Dawn comes, as it always does, sunlight taking the place of the filtered neon of the city–streaming its way into your windows and nudging you awake long after your husband left for work. You’re alone again, and the thoughts don’t cease for the daytime. 

The flickering bulbs of the supermarket welcome you as you hunt around for a decent bunch of spring onions for dinner. Your hands find them and you add them to your basket, moving on to the next item on your list while your mind is half-occupied by the thought of the woman from yesterday. 

You wonder if she’ll make an appearance again. Standing behind you in line, perhaps, or waiting for you in the cold section–eyes scanning tanks of crabs for the perfect one. You wonder if she’ll be wearing red again. The contrast of the colour against her milky white skin as it hugs her body just so, conveying the image of someone with the world at her fingertips. 

Your own dress–emerald green, accented with black florals–suited you well enough. It was clean, well made, and fit you well even after all these years of wear, but it was just that. A dress. Function over form. It was the dress of someone who didn’t want to stand out, who wanted to blend into her surroundings and remain unnoticed as she moved throughout her day. It was the green in the shade of the bright red orchard as it shimmered in the sun.

As if summoned, a flash of red lights up your periphery–calling your attention away from the pear you had been inspecting. You lift your gaze to see her, a few stands down from you, a beacon of red just as you had envisioned her. You blink a few times to solidify her existence–not entirely convinced that you hadn’t just conjured her up out of smoke and mirrors. She remains, gathering a small selection of tomatoes before striding out of the produce section. 

The shock of her appearance from yesterday has long since faded. You’ve had time to reckon with the weight of her existence in your proximity. What was once a desperate, aching curiosity has since dulled to a cold, calculated interest. Instead of abandoning your grocery haul you stick to your list–taking the time to pick out the right ingredients–and achieve your own goals all while keeping her in your sights. You time your actions to match hers, moving on as she adds items to her basket, lingering by the teas as she stalls at the opposite end of the aisle from you. You make your way to the till, trailing her casually, and choose the cashier adjacent to her so you can pay at the same time. 

You leave the market assured with the knowledge of your mutual destination. No need to hurry, no need to chase, no need to match her pace. You let yourself fall into easy step a few feet behind her–content with enjoying the temperate weather that the day has brought. She arrives at the apartment a minute before you but you meet her in the lobby, standing silent beside her as you both wait for the elevator to descend. 

The anxieties of your trip yesterday melt away as you evaluate her through the steel mirror of the door–letting your gaze drift over her distorted figure. How long until she starts to notice your presence as more than mere coincidence? Would you be able to maintain this routine–living alongside her and watching from the peripherals as she goes about her daily tasks without so much as a second thought? 

As if in answer her eyes meet yours in the reflection. You politely avert your gaze, unwilling to be bested in this dance before it had even begun. Whether she was aware of who you are or not, you didn’t need to relinquish the satisfaction of knowing to her. 

The doors open at your floor and you alight into the hallway, leaving her to ascend the rest of the way to her own apartment where she would maintain her own charade. Your heart lurches at the thought, an odd disruption to the calm satisfaction you had been feeling up until now. You remember Joshua’s face from yesterday–the soft curve of his lips as he spoke to you. Polite, kind. You could blame yourself easily for your own husband’s infidelity but what had Joshua done to deserve this? 

Was he plagued with the same self loathing thoughts that haunted your every step? Or was his kindness, too, an illusion? Hiding some deeper malice that lurked at the heart of everyone wrapped up in this love affair.

You shake your head free of him as you enter your apartment and set your groceries down on your kitchen counter, but he returns as swiftly as he leaves. A thought circling round and round–unable or unwilling to give you a moment's peace as you unpack your bags. 

Somewhere in life you had adopted this sense of pessimism about life and the people that walked through it. It was easy to imagine cruelty at the hearts of everyone–to picture the worst case scenario, the worst intentions. But something inside of you revolted as you tried to apply it to Joshua. 

How silly, you think. I don’t even know him. 

And yet it remains, this tiny revolution inside of you. A hope for a kinder heart amidst the sea of troubles that you had been cast adrift on. Some lifeboat in the blue-black of it all. If you just reached out, maybe you could save yourself from drowning. 

Foolish, you think, casting the thought aside. No one is coming to save you. Not from your misery, not from your life, not from yourself. You had gotten married under the guise that your life would forever be tied to another person–that you would carry each other through everything–and now that that has dissolved to nothing, you know. You are alone. You have always been alone. 

The fog of winter rolls in shortly, blanketing the city in gray. For a few weeks in the beginning of December, your husband’s mistress disappears. He comes home on time, eats dinner with you, and you spend your days together like any married couple might. You’re lulled into a false sense of security and for a moment you think you could simply float back into the life you had expected to have and forget everything that has been. But only for a moment. Before long she reappears, her hair cropped shorter and  a spring in her step as she bounds through the aisles of the market. Your temporary marital utopia dissolves into the mist and you resume your post as observer. 

The weather starts to warm again, sunlight finding its way through cloud and smog to dapple the sides of buildings, and you take up a nightly ritual of walking through the streets in your neighbourhood. You never stay out too late, or stray too far, but you were starting to feel like a caged animal as you paced through your home and your thoughts night after night. 

On the nights your husband stayed out–either still at work or somewhere with her–you would forgo cooking all together, instead heading to a nearby restaurant as the sun starts to set over the city skyline. You eat slowly, relishing in each flavour and texture, and watch the rest of the patrons as they would do the same. It makes you feel less alone–or at least, less alone in your loneliness–as you would sit and watch the strangers around you bury their own miseries in the warmth of the broth steamed over countless hours. Their minds filled with thoughts and worries of their own. 

Tonight is much the same. You linger at home, straightening cushions and wiping down already clean surfaces to keep your hands occupied while you watch the clock tick down the time. Your phone lights up with a message–your husband informing you that he will be home late, telling you not to wait up. You slip on a light jacket and head out the door. Your feet know the way by now, they carry you almost mindlessly forward–down the elevator, out through the lobby, down the street, two left turns, one right turn, a few blocks ahead. You pass by some familiar faces–vendors and other denizens of the evening that you’ve become accustomed to during your walks–and you acknowledge them as a friend in your mind. Kindred spirits. 

You enter the small restaurant, blinking away the temporary fluorescent lights induced blindness, and take up your usual seat in the corner. Time ceases to exist in this place. If it weren’t for the last vestiges of sunlight forcing their way through the small, foggy window at the front, you wouldn’t be able to tell if it was day or night. 

Over the month or so you’ve started becoming a regular fixture of the place, you’ve grown familiar with a number of the other restaurant denizens. The cook and his wife–presumably the owners of the establishment–are ever silent unless yelling instructions about orders back and forth at each other. The wife, a small woman of indeterminate age, would move with efficiency between the five tables dotting the small space–taking orders, handing them to her husband in the kitchen, taking payments, refilling tea. She never appeared to be rushing, and no one was ever left for too long waiting for anything.

Occasionally a young man would take her place–likely their son or another relation roped in to help with the family business for a night. He was young–university aged maybe–and clearly disinterested in spending what little free time he had serving customers and bussing tables. The disinterest showed plain on his face even as he scribbled down your order (the usual, hot and sour soup and tea) and delivered it to his father in the kitchen. 

Tonight it was the woman, she didn’t even bother to ask you what you wanted as you had ordered the same thing every night over the past week. After a few moments she walks over with a teapot and cup in hand, setting them down with a silent nod, before turning to greet the next customer as they enter through the front door. 

You take a sip of tea, not too hot, before leaning back in the chair to settle in for another evening of people watching. The window in the front of the restaurant is clouded slightly with steam built up from the inside, and a light dusting of grime from the outside, but your eyes have adjusted to the distortion over the past month. You sit and watch as people pass by on the street outside, a few salarymen will stop in throughout for silent meals alone before returning to the streets, but often you’re the sole patron during the few hours you spend there each night. 

You watch as the new patron takes a seat at the table nearest the entrance–you haven’t seen him here before, but he looks the same as the rest. The same white button down, creased with a long day's work; the same black trousers; the same black tie and blazer thrown haphazardly over his shoulder. They were a dime a dozen in the city, these salarymen. Your husband had been one of them, once upon a time. Even with his many promotions over the years he still dressed much the same. You wonder briefly what made him stand out from the crowd to his mistress. 

The woman returns to your table a few minutes later, bearing your soup in her work worn hands. Steam billows from the top and you thank her before straightening in your seat and picking up your spoon. 

The food is not remarkable–truly nothing about this place is. Much like the salarymen that dip in and out through its front door, it’s no different than any of the other random hole-in-the-wall establishments that populate this city. The menu varies little from the usual, and the dingy white tiled walls do little to visually differentiate it. Everything about the place appears to be almost designed to blend into its surroundings. To serve its purpose without disturbing the status quo. It was solid and reliable and it's this very reliability that keeps drawing you back. 

It could be any restaurant. You could be any woman. 

You sink into the anonymity, slowly savouring the warm comfort of your food, and watch the slightly obscured figures of people as they pass by outside under the darkening sky. The man at the table by the door finishes his food quickly–in all of 15 minutes he orders, eats, and pays–with the chiming of the front door you’re left alone again as the only customer inside and the wife returns to rifling through a stack of papers spread out across the small table next to the kitchen. 

An hour passes as you sit in your chair, draining your soup and sitting silently as the scene repeats itself twice over. You glance at the clock on the wall, nearly 8:00pm, then down at your phone screen. No messages, no notifications. The light of the evening sun has all but disappeared by now, only a faint yellow clinging still to the corners of blue that construct the city at night. You push your bowl to the side and sigh–both ready and not ready to head back out into the street and begin your short walk home. As has become the routine, the woman sets her papers aside and presses a few buttons on the old till. You linger a moment longer at the table, watching a pair of women stroll by outside, before getting up and pulling out your wallet. No word is exchanged as you set down a few paper bills on the counter in front of her. 

The night air still bites with the remnants of the winter air and you tug your jacket tighter around to your chest as you step onto the sidewalk. It’s a quieter part of your neighbourhood, but still the streets are abuzz with people even aa the sky deepens with the threat of twilight. You fall in line behind a trio of women, walking a few paces behind them and letting your mind focus in on their conversation as they talk and laugh with each other.

Their conversation is nothing interesting–daily gossip about people you know nothing about, feel nothing for–but it reminds you of when you would wander around at night with your friends in University. Aimless and carefree, talking about nothing and everything that came to mind. When was the last time you had seen any of them? Not for months, surely. Maybe you should reach out.  

The women make a left turn a few blocks later, disappearing in the opposite direction that you’re headed and you let your thoughts drift off as their voices do. Would your husband be home already? Would he be upset with the lack of prepared dinner? He hasn’t mentioned anything about it up until now, but you do wonder how long that might last. You know you should summon up some excuse for why you’ve taken up these walks, why you’re sometimes not home when he gets back, but you can’t bring yourself to care enough to lie. What does it matter anyway? 

You round the final corner towards home. The building looms ahead at the end of the street, lobby lights casting yellow highlights onto the pavement out front. 

“Mrs. _____.” You don’t hear the voice at first. Your attention is far away, lurking in the recesses of your thoughts, and it takes a minute and a repeated call for you to register that acknowledgement. With a quizzical look, you turn towards the source of the voice and see Joshua Hong striding towards you from the opposite side of the street, pace quick to avoid an encroaching motorbike. 

“Mr. Hong?” you ask, wavering with confusion. Still unsure if he’s a real person or a spectre come to warn you of some impending doom awaiting you as you approach your apartment. 

“I thought that might be you,” he smiles, coming to a stop under a streetlight a few feet away. “How are you?” 

You blink him into reality, righting your attention back to alertness after it’s time away. He’s sporting a cream coloured corduroy jacket over a plain white t-shirt. Blue jeans. He looks the same as the last time you met him in the elevator–the same dark brown hair carving waves over his forehead, the same easy smile. You return the smile, sense reasserting itself enough for you to remember your manners. “I'm well, thank you. How are you?”

“Also well,” he replies, gesturing for the pair of you to resume walking towards your shared building. “We were away for a while, my wife and I. Visiting my family in LA.” 

You know this–the kiss of sun on her skin and your previous knowledge of Joshua was enough to clue you into where they had disappeared to those few months ago. Though you weren’t about to tell him this. “Ah, that sounds lovely. How long have you been back?” Polite conversation demands the question, though the answer to it is already blaring red in your mind. 

“About two months ago or so,” he replies. “It was a nice  trip, thank you.” You arrive at the entrance to the apartment complex, Joshua reaches for the door before you have the chance and you nod a thank you as he holds it open for you. “Have you ever been?” 

“To LA?” you ask, though the question is rhetorical and serves mainly to fill the empty spaces in between. He nods, affirming. “No, I haven’t.” You fall into step beside him, low heels clacking across the well worn black and white tiles of the lobby floor. You think to leave your answer succinct but reconsider it as you approach the elevator for fear of the silence that might ensue if you do. “Though, I did once have a dream to move there and become an actress,” you laugh. 

“Oh?” He looks surprised at the sudden confession and you worry you might have said too much about yourself. “Why didn’t you?” 

No one had ever asked you that before. It’s your turn to be taken off guard now as you step up to the dual elevators. Joshua presses the ‘up’ button and you consider how to reply. 

Why didn’t you? 

“I–well,” you start, fumbling through your thoughts. “It wasn’t a very serious dream, and it wasn’t like anything would have come of it. My mother preferred that I stay here and do something more practical.” 

He nods, thoughtful, appearing to seriously consider your response as you watch the numbers descend on the display above the right side elevator. “That’s understandable,” he says after a minute, “I think most parents just want security for their kids. Acting isn’t the most stable or assured career.” 

The elevator arrives, its buffed stainless steel doors sliding open to grant you access to the lift. Joshua gestures for you to step in first, so you do, lighting up the button for your floor as he steps in behind you. 

“Which floor?” you ask. Another question you know the answer to but he humours you anyway and you press the button for him as well. 

Silence steps into the elevator with you just as the doors shut. You realise you’re twisting your fingers together in front of you–a nervous habit you thought you had gotten rid of years ago–and you shake them lightly before dropping your arms back to your sides. 

“What about your father?” Joshua breaks the silence after a moment and again you take a second to register his question, too focused on the audible sound of your breathing. 

“I’m sorry?” You glance at him, not trusting that you had heard him correctly. 

“Your father,” he repeats, soft smile still lightly dusted over his lips. “What did he think of this acting dream of yours?”

“Oh, I don’t–” you pause, clearing your throat. Truthfully, you had never even told your mother about it, you just knew what she would have said if you had. “I’m not sure, he passed away when I was 14.” 

“Oh, I’m sorry,” he apologizes, expression sombering. 

You revert to silent passengers as the lift continues to rise towards your floor. A part of you aches to say something, to break the silence again and continue polite conversation. Something about his demeanour was easy–easy to talk to, easy to be with. But you flounder for questions, comments, topics to mention. The weight of your partner’s affair presses at the front of your mind and you wonder how long you’ll be able to keep it at bay before it spills free from behind the dam of your resolve. 

“What were you doing?” he asks suddenly. Breaking the silence just as you think you might not be able to withstand it any longer. The question confuses you and it must show on your face because he clarifies, “when I ran into you outside. It was getting pretty late.” 

“Oh, right of course,” you say, “I was just out for a walk.”

He nods, understanding. “I was as well. Do you walk often?” 

“Most nights, these days,” you reply. 

“Does your husband not mind?” 

You want to laugh. “He’s not home often, these days,” you answer after a moment, casting your gaze to the floor. Dancing around the implications as the weight presses heavier in your mind. “Your wife?” you ask, flirting with the edges of truth unspoken nestled between you. 

“She’s similarly occupied,” he responds, voice softening. You meet his gaze in the reflection of the doors. A spark of understanding reverberates through you and you wonder if he feels it as well. Swelling like a bloom of light bursting in your chest. He holds your gaze steady, unwavering but silent. He knows. He must. 

The elevator dings, warning you of your arrival, and you clear your throat, tearing your eyes off his and smothering the warmth that had blossomed in your heart. “Thank you,” you say, unsure exactly what you felt compelled to thank him for but giving sound to the sentiment anyway. “For um, the chat. It was nice to see you.” 

“You as well,” he smiles as the doors slide open to let you out. You nod and step into the hallway, torn between the eagerness to be alone once more and a strange resistance at departing from his company so soon. The doors begin to slide closed behind you but you hear him call your name once and spin to see his hand blocking their attempt. “Maybe we’ll see each other again soon, on one of our walks.” 

You nod again and watch as he lets his hand fall, body swallowed back into the elevator as the doors shut and it continues its climb upwards. You stand for a minute, stock still in the hallway once more staring at the space where he was. 

It's amazing how little time it takes for your whole world to shift. It’s a fact you’ve been presented with again and again throughout life–the deaths of your parents, accepting your husband's proposal all those years ago, the photo of him sent to you by an old friend with his arms around another woman. Mere seconds of time that seemed to move entire planets–rearranging your life without your consent at a subatomic level. 

Standing in the hallway now, with the sound of Joshua’s voice lingering in your mind, you get the uncanny feeling that you’ve just lived through another of these moments. You turn away from the elevator and walk the final steps to your apartment accompanied with this knowledge, and the hope that his final statement proves true. 

© 2024, neoneun-au. all rights reserved.

please consider reblogging, i would love to know your thoughts on the story so far !

[astarionposting]

Sunrise, Sunset. 2/2

Sunrise, sunset, you wake up then you undress, It always is the same; The sunrise and the sunsets, you're lying while you confess.

this song really reminds me of astarion's mind throughout the game in a way, it is difficult for me to describe why in words, but a lot of the lyrics remind me of his fears/the sad progression of his ascended ending, and how basically continues the cycle of abuse... especially in these verses:

The sunrise, the sunsets, you're hopeful and then you regret The circle never breaks. With a sunrise and a sunset, there's a change of heart or address Is there nothing that remains? For a sunrise or a sunset, you're manic or you're depressed Will you ever feel okay? For a sunrise or a sunset, your lover is an actress Did you really think she'd stay? To the sunrise or a sunset, the master and his servant Have exactly the same fate. It's a sunrise and a sunset, from a cradle to a casket There is no way to escape. The sunrise and a sunset, hold your sadness like a puppet Keep putting on the play. But everything you do is leading to the point Where you just won't know what to do. At that moment you may laugh but there is someone there Who will be laughing louder than you. So it's true, the trick is complete; You become everything you said you never would be. A vision of her body as she stretches out on your bed And she raised her hands in the air. Asked you, "When was the last time you looked in the mirror?" Because you've changed.

if u made it down here then here is a cutie face astarion for u :)

[dollfaced-erin]

𝔻𝕣𝕒𝕘𝕠𝕟'𝕤 ℂ𝕣𝕒𝕕𝕝𝕖 (Blade x F!Reader x Jing Yuan)

warning ! Angst !

PART 2

PART 1

short a/n :

sorry for the terrible storytelling in the past chapter. i am trying to regain back me writing skills, and i hope it'll get better over time !

"What...happened...? Where am I..?" the young woman asked. Her body felt cold and stiff, as if she was placed in a freezer for a very long time. Which...almost seemed to be the case.

She slowly sat up, and realized that she was in a glass box of sorts, placed above flowers that lay beneath her. They were...beautiful blue flowers, petals pure and translucent, giving off a crystal blue glow. They were...still fresh and living, or so she thought.

"Flowers...? A glass box...?" she muttered to herself, a hand to her head as she tried to wrap herself around what was happening. And as she touched her forehead, she realized that her fingertips were deathly cold.

"Huh...?" "Those flowers...are made of special substance called the six-phased ice. Have you heard of it ?" Jing Yuan asked her, his hand still holding onto hers, being the only source of heat that was taking away the coldness from her.

"The six-phased ice does not melt, and adheres to the imaginary law, remaining cold to the touch and does not change shape nor corrode. It is perfectly safe." the smooth general told the newly awoken girl.

"Yeah...I think...I've heard of it before..." (Y/n) nodded, looking at her fingertips. They were very pale, and even slightly blue. It seems that she had been resting in here for quite a while now.

"But then...is this...what one would call a casket...?" (Y/n) asked, looking at the glass casing she was in, filled with ice flowers and placed on a small stage that was a few steps high. It almost looked like a funeral, where one would pay their last respects.

"You have been...resting here for over a few hundred years, Dan...I mean, (Y/n)." Jing Yuan told her, a small smile on his lips. "To keep your body from decaying since you still had a beating heart, and breathing lungs, we couldn't just kill you off now, could we ? So I ordered for them to keep you here, just in case, to preserve your body."

"A few...hundred years ?! A-are you sure ? Why...why did I suddenly wake up ?" (Y/n) asked, looking panicked. Her ears couldnt believe what she was hearing and her (e/c) eyes were wide with confusion and surprise.

"I...I wasn't...reincarnated like a normal Vidhyadra...? What do I look like now...? Am I old...?" (Y/n) asked and Jing Yuan laughed before getting up to grab a handheld mirror on a table nearby.

"It seems that you still remember that you are a Vidyadhara. Here. Take a look for yourself."

And as she took the mirror in her hands. She gasped a little. She was a beautiful young woman. With luscious locks of (h/c) hair, dainty (e/c) blue eyes...and the matching horns perched on her head. Right, her tail...she could still feel the energy there, but was hidden from sight or sealed away.

Right...she was a Vidyadhara. But how hasn't she died or reincarnated...?

She didn't remember anything. She only had those vague voices in her mind that...served as her past memories, she supposed.

"You were...sentenced for past crime, but...you didn't die from your sentence. You...were put to rest, instead. And like I said, since your heart was still beating, your lungs still breathing, we couldn't just kill you. And seeing that you have forgotten all your memories, I suppose you didn't reincarnate, but rather reset yourself." Jing Yuan said. And as odd as that was, it had truth in them.

Perhaps she was out for so long that her brain had deleted most of her memories like Jade Abacus...? She didn't understand it. But there was nothing she could do about it but continue with her current life, taking it as a form of reincarnation straight into an adult body rather than hatching as a child.

But...how could she still have some memories and still remember Jing Yuan...?

Perhaps...she really didn't die, but since she was laid dormant for so long, her memories have corroded themselves.

"Come, (Y/n). I have things to attend to." Jing Yuan said, getting up and holding out a hand to (Y/n). "I'll tell you more on the way."

(Y/n) gulped, feeling a little uneasy, but if she had rested for a few hundred years and he was the only familiar face she knew at the moment.

And so the Vidyadhara woman took the general of the Luofu's hand and slowly stood up. But since it was centuries since she last stood, her legs were weak, her heart pounding painfully in her chest. She stumbled, but Jing Yuan caught her, holding her tenderly against his chest.

"Careful there, no need to rush. You just woke up." Jing Yuan said with concern in his deep voice. (Y/n)'s face reddened in response, finding it embarrassing that she couldn't even stand up straight.

And with his support, (Y/n) slowly stood up on both legs, finding herself clothed in familiar and elegant qipao in (f/c), and chrysanthemum flowers embroidered. Though qipao's are often short, she had an asymmetrical skirt that trailed behind her. This...was what the royalty would wear, something of the High-Elders would have. And...she had to admit, she had very cute heels even while sleeping.

Tenderly, with fear that she may fall, Jing Yuan took her hand as they began to walk out of the...monument that she lay in. The roads of the Exalting Sanctum...were still as bustling as she remembered they were, filled with citizens running around.

"Who...was I in my past...? How did I wake up ? How did you know I was going to wake up ? A-and...where are we going ? For what ?" (Y/n) bombarded Jing Yuan with questions as soon as they began to walk towards the Starskiff port, feeling quite self conscious that there were more than just a few eyes on them.

"So many questions, (Y/n)." Jing Yuan chuckled. Then he hummed. "Hm...let's say, in the past you were the former High-Elder's closest confidant. A little sister, one would regard. Younger than the High-Elder since you were born a few years after the young master at the time. But since Vidyadhara's cannot have offsprings, you were considered siblings since both of you hatched close to each other. And both of you had horns upon birth. "

"About waking up, there was a Stellaron activated on the ship. It caused the Ambrosial Arbor to reawaken, and...I had an instinct that since unusual things were happening, the impossible would happen with you." Jing Yuan said, looking at her with a soft smile on his lips.

"And...I was right. You reawakened due to the anomaly caused by the Stellaron. Do you know what a Stellaron is...?" Jing Yuan asked, concerned that perhaps everything was too much for (Y/n) at the moment. But to his surprise she nodded and understood.

She was understanding and grasping everything around her. Perhaps her past self had indeed died, but a new person resurfaced from behind and kept the most important memories and skills intact. Very handy. He didn't need to explain too much for (Y/n) to understand.

The two continued to walk to the port as Jing Yuan waited for a Starskiff to head off to the Alchemy commission. Jing Yuan still kept his hand on (Y/n)'s, gently guiding her and making sure she didn't fall. But so far, she was doing even better than he expected.

Though he had accepted her as (Y/n)...he...couldn't forget Dan Jia...the person (Y/n) formerly was. Not when they share the same face, the same horns of Vidyadhara... the same voice and...

Those beautiful (e/c) eyes...

He couldn't forget how she instantly recognized him upon waking.

"Careful now, kitten. The road ahead of us will be dangerous. But it shall still be within your power if you manage to resurface all your past wisdom with the power of the Orb of Abysm you once received alongside the High-Elder." Jing Yuan said.

"Jing Yuan !" a distant voice of Dan Jia called, a bright smile on her face as she smiled brightly at him, tucking a strand of (h/c) hair behind her ear.

And a starskiff arrived. Jing Yuan boarded the vehicle first, never letting go of (Y/n)'s hand. And he hoped he never had to.

Because the last time he did, was the last time he saw those beautiful (e/c) eyes open.

[malrie]

for: @jasipereo, who told me i should what: in the burning maze, apparently they fly off together after jason dies and nothing happens at all. this is the nothing. wc: 1700

-

Piper had grown out her hair since Leo saw her last. He touched the ends of it, feeling the familiar softness between his fingers.

“Did you get taller?” she asked, voice strained from having cried so much. He didn’t see her expression; she was sitting in front of him on Festus, facing only the white sky. 

“I dunno,” he said, because he didn’t. Time was strange in that other place. To him, he’d been gone for only a moment. As if he hadn’t been lost at all.

She leaned backwards. Without having to ask, Leo let the internal heat from his body migrate to her. They were just below plane altitude, maybe four or five miles in the air. It was cold, but he wouldn’t let her be.

Had Piper not been there, Leo would have pried the casket open and crawled inside to lie beside him. He was sure of it. The instinct was nonsensical, even desperate, and still it pulled him like water down a drain. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to see him with his eyes closed, as though he were only asleep. And Jason had always been a peaceful sleeper. 

Back then, Piper’s iron grip on his forearm had anchored him. Maybe she felt the urge, too. Maybe they could have all fit inside. There, they could have dreamt as one, having found peace in a place where nothing could tear them apart. Together again.

“You did,” she replied. “Get taller, I mean. Just a little.”

*

Piper had a room in her grandpa’s ranch house that she hadn’t used since she was eleven. Leo inspected the off-white lace curtains, the stuffed animals on the bookshelves. She had a pink CD player and a Hello Kitty pillowcase. It was strange to be confronted with the idea that she had lived a life before him.

He helped her unpack what little she brought with her. Downstairs, Leo heard Coach’s booming timbre, comforting in its own way. He and Mellie would stay in the guest room with Chuck, leaving Leo to fend for himself in the den.

“What’re you gonna do now?” asked Piper, folding shirts and sorting them in a dresser.

Leo laid on her carpet, eyeing the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on the ceiling. “Calypso wants to enroll in school. I tried telling her secondary education was a shithole, but she wanted to experience it herself. As for me, I’m never going back. S’one of the conditions I made for living at the Waystation.”

Piper paused in her folding. Then she started up again on a pile of sweaters. She lingered on a blue one that read: Edgarton Day and Boarding School. 

“I’m starting Tahlequah High next week,” she said. 

“I’ll be sure to make your grad party, beauty queen.”

He figured. Piper liked school enough; he knew she never missed an assignment at Wilderness. Meanwhile, Leo turned every packet he got into paper planes, letting them ride the Nevada gust out his dormitory window.

“If you’re not finishing school,” she continued, “what’ll you do? Help Hemithea and Josephine?”

“That’s sorta the plan.” Leo rubbed his eyes. The stars were too old to hold any glow. “I guess… I guess I just want something to keep busy. Maybe teach shop for the kids for however long. After that, I don’t know. Being in one place too long… I’m not real good at that.”

“So no camp?”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “No, no camp. You?”

“No,” Piper said, then laughed along with him.

He knew she didn’t mean she hated either camp, their friends, or their community—they only needed distance, measured and in moderation. Jason was everywhere, after all. His lifeblood was camp legacy. In a way, that was what had taken him from them. The gods had owed Jason ten times over and this was how he was repaid. There was nothing for Leo there, least of all loyalty. It seemed Piper felt the same, even if only mirroring an inch of his resentment. 

They ate dinner. Tristan still had some lost pallor, but his charisma was hard to chip at, especially when his daughter needed him. Toothless Chuck gummed around a piece of squash while the rest of them ate a meal cooked by a friend of the family. People had been in and out of the house all day; their fridge was stocked for the entire week. The McLeans had roots here. They were loved and welcomed. Leo and Piper had stayed inside her room like homebodies until the visitors had all left.

While Mellie put Chuck down for bed, Tristan and Coach cleared the table and washed the dishes. Piper told Leo that they’d probably go out on the porch and smoke some of her grandad’s tobacco pipes once they were done, a vice her dad failed to keep secret from her.

Snickering, they imagined Coach hacking a lung while ambling upstairs to her grandpa’s study. Her grandfather kept books on topics that ranged from Indigenous history to psychology to science fiction. Aside from the collection, there was a desk with a swivel chair and a large claw-footed single-seater sofa in the corner of the room, just by the window.

Leo grabbed a book off the shelf just for the fun of it and plopped down on the sofa. The words swam around on the pages. Even if he could read it, he doubted he could parse analytical biochemistry jargon.

“I used to come up here when Grandpa was doing his lesson plans,” said Piper. Tom McLean was a structural biology professor. “I’d beg for him to play with me, but he’d just say, ‘My love, you cannot have what you want the instant you desire it.’ I liked that. Not even then was it easy for people to say no to me. He was the only one.”

Looking out the window, Leo saw the shine of Festus’s wings in the darkness. The dragon was hunkered down in the yard, closest to sleep as automatons could get.

“I’ll leave in the morning,” Leo said. He rested his gaze on the horizon, which bled into the night. “Calypso’s waiting for me.”

“I know.” Piper came over to him, gently pulling the textbook away from his grasp. It forced him to look at her.

A beat passed. “I’m sorry, Piper. About Jason.”

She smiled wryly, placing Clinical Biochemistry: Techniques and Instrumentation onto the side table. She asked, “Why are you saying sorry to me?”

He wasn’t sure what she meant by that. She stood over him, the moonlight from outside overlaying her skin like a filter, the image of an aching spector. Her face was unreadable, but tonight her eyes were one color. It was borrowed, and it was the color of his own heart: Electric blue, as vibrant as the sky once a storm had cleared. Jason.

Still standing, she raised a hand, placing it over his arm in an innocuous touch. “You loved him, too,” she said. Leo’s hackles rose, but it was true and—now that Jason was dead—harmless. “Leo, we weren’t together anymore. I broke up with him. After you died, I couldn’t… I couldn’t work it out. Work us out. Because without you, it was like… Like the lights had gone out.”

His hand grabbed her wrist, wanting to rip it away, but he couldn’t. “Wait. I-I don’t want to hear this,” he said.

If only she had never brought it up. Mellie had told him earlier in the day, with Chuck on her hip and wearing a worried frown. Piper and Jason had split some months ago. They never explained further than what they had told everyone.

“I thought,” she kept going, “that if you had come back, maybe Jason and I could have—with you… But we never got a chance.”

“Piper,” he said firmly, getting up from the seat to grab her shoulders. “You have to stop.”

“It isn’t fair. Don’t you think it isn’t fair?” Jason’s eyes watched him shake.

“I’m leaving tomorrow, at dawn. I’m moving to Indiana. I’ll come for birthdays, special days. We’ll see each other at reunions. I’ll Iris you—every day if you want! It’ll be good. Like we always were. Like we were before everything. Don’t do this, Piper.”

“You can’t stay,” she whispered. “I know because it happened to me, too. It hurt to be with him because you weren’t there. And I know what you see when you look at me. What color are my eyes, Leo? Whose are they? He used to see yours.”

It had to happen, just once, even if never again for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t even their first kiss, which had happened a lifetime ago, on some forgettable rooftop in a place that never loved them. He shivered a little as her hands came up to his neck. There was salt in his mouth from her tears. Piper made small noises, gasping in increments when they could bear parting. They tumbled back to a bookshelf, hard edges jutting against Leo’s spine.

It was important that he was the one to speak first. Not because he didn’t trust her not to compel him, but to prove that he knew she wouldn’t. Not for this.

“I’ll leave in the morning,” repeated Leo, thumb rolling down her jaw. “That’s hours away.”

*

Leo got up before the sun did. Oklahoma mornings were crisp and new, almost impossibly so. The fog in the distance cleared around the McLean property, grass dewing with small beads of fresh water. Standing on the porch now, Leo knew this could be a good home, one filled with love.

Tristan McLean saw him come out of Piper’s room. He didn’t react much, only telling him to be safe on his journey back. He’d also shaken his hand like a real man and said, “She’s stronger than I’d ever hoped.”

“Stronger than me,” Leo replied, smiling.

Seeing him, Festus crooned in happy creaks, shaking out his stiffness. As Leo took off, he saw the curtains in Piper’s window move, almost nothing. Just in case, he brought up his hand to wave goodbye.

[wifetomegatron]

prowl, cerebros, red alert & fort max drabble (brain fart basically). prowl looks too good for a funeral, first contact au. (the fleabag brainrot continues to fester so) imagine a scene where you have to attend a funeral of a distant relative member, most likely a cousin twice removed, and the family asks you to bring your boyfriend with you. The problem wasn't the fact that he turns into a cop car or stands five—six, he would lie — meters tall when he's not begrudgingly sizing himself down for the comfort of his human hosts, but it was the fact that he's an asshole. And this is relevant because he just can't seem to look awful enough to mourn. Instead, he looks —

" — amazing. What the fuck? "

You threw your hands up, and he had to grit his teeth and swallow a response, opting to huff in equal frustration. His doorwings flapped as he paced away from the full-length mirror. 

"I'm not doing this on purpose."

" Bullshit. I told you not to go for a finish yesterday why did you —"

" I didn't go! " He growled. Ex-venting before correcting his tone, still sounding upset, " I didn't even clean myself before I got here, which is disgusting because I feel filthy."

You shook your head. Defeated.

" The funeral's in fifteen minutes and you look like you've gotten your armor polished."

" What does it matter?" He complained, eyes briefly catching himself against the mirror.

" It matters because my cousin's dead and everyone's going to think I made you go through a car wash for it !"

" That's not a funny joke."

There was a knock at the door. Past through the gap, you can hear the distant hum of the organ, the sea of people dressed in black drowning in hushed murmurs. It was Cerebros. He had half his body past the doorway, peeking in.

" People are looking for — Primus, Prowl, did you get a new paint job?"

You and Prowl cursed, arms up in defeat once again. Cerebros closed the door behind him as Prowl went on his rant, hands itching to flip a table. But fortunately, you were in one of the empty closets of the church. A portrait of Christ by the window, looking down at you all in disappointment.

Prowl begins to pick on his doors, trying to wipe away some invisible dirt off his arms. The effort was enough to trick you into thinking that he actually cares about this stupid situation, or maybe his ego is just basking in the moment of looking too good for a funeral. 

" No matter what I do, my doorwings keep falling in this really... candid way! "

Bastard.

" You look perfect, Cerebros," Prowl huffed. The black and white bot looked at himself and frowned, " Thanks."

There was another knock, and you were partially relieved it was Fortress Maximus and Red Alert instead of one of your relatives. The one-point-one percenter glared at Prowl, which wouldn't be abnormal, except he regarded him quietly before adding to the fire.

" This is not good."

" See!" You yelled, tilting your head up and contemplating if you should just sink on your knees and pray that a comet would strike your boyfriend where he stands so he'll at least look beaten enough to pay his respect over the open casket. Otherwise, he looks like he's ready to receive an award from Optimus instead, shining under the sunlight, worthy of applause from all of Cybertron.

" I think you should just wipe the polish off your face," Red Alert suggested.

Prowl froze, turning to the three of you.

" I'm not wearing any polish."

" What?"

[srslyblvck]

dark echoes, the umbrella academy

pairing: hargreeves siblings x sibling!reader

synopsis: you are ben's twin sister. after he was murdered, you were never yourself. you were on the brink of madness when your brother who was considered dead comes back asking for your help to stop an apocalypse.

warnings: suicide and suicidal thoughts, drugs, alcohol consumption(not in a healthy way)

author's note: alright, this was an impulse decision. my first series here, lets see if i continue it lol

word count: 0.6k

chapters: 1/?

⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER THE last time you saw the sun. It had been years since your twin brother Ben was killed, and every day since was a blur of shadowed memories and endless pain. You hadn’t moved on; you couldn’t. The echoes of his absence haunted you, made worse by the voice in your head that never stopped. The other you—your darkest thoughts—was always there, gnawing at your sanity.

No matter how much alcohol you drank or how many pills you took, the voice stayed. It felt like your mind was a prison with a warden who never gave you a break. It was maddening, like being tied to a tormentor who sometimes took over your body, making you watch helplessly as it carried out its dark desires.

You tried hard to act normal, but it was exhausting. When you did go outside, you felt like a stranger in your own life. You’d walk around, feeling like people were watching you, or glance at your reflection in shop windows and be shocked by how different you looked. Your world, once full of colour, had turned grey and unchanging.

Your job used to be a place where you could escape your inner pain. But now, it just added to your misery. The paperwork stacked up, deadlines loomed, and your coworkers seemed distant. What used to make you proud now felt like another trap you couldn’t escape.

The only thing that offered a temporary escape was the haze of drugs and alcohol, but even that couldn’t quiet the relentless voice in your head. Every bit of peace felt stolen, leaving only your torment. You’d sit in the dark, the TV flickering, too tired to turn it off. Your life had become a series of dull days and empty routines, and even the job you once cared about felt like a burden. You felt like a burden.

Your siblings didn’t know. They couldn’t. They saw only the surface, the mask you wore to hide the suffering inside. Your eyes were hollow, your face thin. You didn’t need a mirror to see that you were a shadow of who you once were. But you didn’t want them to see you like this. The pain was yours to bear alone.

In your grief, the pills were a temporary relief, but they never silenced the voice completely. It only got louder when you tried to stop using them, a constant reminder of your pain. You had tried to end it all more than once, but each time, the voice took over and stopped you. It was as if you were doomed to live in despair.

You had seen the news about Reginald Hargreeves, your father's death. The man who had orchestrated so much of the pain in your life had finally met his end. You wished you could have been the one to deliver that final blow, to exact the revenge you had longed for. The thought of him lying in a casket brought a dark satisfaction, but it was fleeting. The funeral was to be held soon, and you had no intention of attending. You didn't want to face your siblings, to see them mourn the man who had taken so much from you.

On the day of the funeral, you were sprawled on your couch, having taken more pills than you could count. The numbing haze of the drugs clung to you, but you were still awake, lying in a stupor. It was during this disorienting state that you heard it—a faint shuffling coming from the kitchen. Your instincts, sharpened by years of vigilance, kicked in. You summoned a knife with a golden hue, its beauty masking its lethal purpose.

You moved towards the kitchen with slow, deliberate steps, the voice in your head urging you to be cautious. It was as if it knew something you didn’t.

As you rounded the corner, you saw him. The figure in the kitchen was unmistakable. A boy, maybe around five feet three inches tall, with messy hair falling into his eyes. He wore the Academy uniform, the sight of which haunted your dreams. Even through the fog of the drugs, you recognised him instantly.

Time seemed to freeze. The knife in your hand vanished into thin air. You took a shaky step forward and whispered, “Five?”

[chiriwritesstuff]

Hometown Glory; Chapter 2 Sneak Peek (Pt. 2)

Series Masterlist │ Read Chapter 1 Here!

Do we want a little flashback? I finally have a chance to sit and write after the chaos that was the last few weeks, I hope you all enjoy this little sneaky peek! Chapter 2 is dropping soon!

Your eyes remain fixed on the glossy surface of Nana's casket, the black reflection staring back at you like a mirror of your own conflicted thoughts and feelings. It's as if you're trying to find solace in the emptiness, to drown out the chaos of emotions swirling inside you with the deafening silence of grief. His voice breaks through the stillness, soft and hesitant, a stark contrast to the storm raging within you. You can hear the awkwardness in his tone, the uncertainty in his words, as if he's treading on fragile ground, unsure of where to step next. "I heard you graduated last fall," he begins, his voice so soft it's almost a whisper. You nod in response to his question, your gaze still fixed on the casket, the weight of his presence beside you almost suffocating in its intensity. You can feel the tension between you, thick and palpable, like a barrier separating you from the rest of the world. "And you started law school," he continues, his voice betraying a hint of eagerness, a flicker of hope. "I heard about it from Pop—" "I'm surprised you're even here," you say before you can fully process how harsh and how bitter you must sound, like someone who bets on losing dogs, like someone who— "Yeah, well, I got on the red-eye from Tampa after I got the call," he replies, and you swear you can feel his heavy gaze trained on the side of your face, his eyes pleading, begging. "Look, Glo, Bel—" But before you can fully process his words, before you can respond to the flood of conflicting emotions threatening to overwhelm you, he reaches out to you, his hand closing around your wrist with a firm but gentle grip. His touch sends a jolt of electricity through you, sparking memories of a time when his touch meant safety, comfort, home. But now, it feels like a betrayal, a reminder of everything that's gone wrong between you, everything that's been left unsaid and unresolved. “I wanted to see you,” he whispers, a slight heave in his chest. “Fuck, Glory, it’s been five fucking years—” And at that moment, you're torn between the desire to push him away, to protect yourself from the pain he represents, and the longing in your heart that yearns for connection, for closure, for something more than this endless cycle of hurt and regret. “Are we really going to do this now?! Right here, in front of—” “Yes, Glo. Right here, right now, right in front of this entire fucking town,” he replies harshly as you strain against his grasp, your strength no match to his. “You wouldn’t see me otherwise, god knows how much I’ve tried… please, Bella—” “Don’t you fucking dare! Don’t you fucking dare call me that, Francisco—” “Oh, so it’s like that, then?" he exclaims, his face a mask of stunned hurt, the weight of his words heavy with disbelief. "You disappear without a word, not even a goodbye, and we’re back to square one? Francisco?! Seriously, Bella?! Thirteen years of friendship—" “Well, that’s your name, right?” You spit, your eyes darting around your surroundings as you try to hide your distress. “I remember a time when you would call me Frankie, but that was before you decided that you were too good for this town and everyone who gave a damn about you!” “Well, that’s something a friend would call you, right?” you retort, your voice laced with venom, your eyes finally meeting his gaze. "What would your girlfriend think, Francisco? Did you bring her along for the ride, to my grandmother's fucking funeral?" A throat clears from behind you, and a light tap on your shoulder makes you turn, only to see a figure you never wanted to face again. "Fiancée, actually," Chelsea corrects, her smirk betraying her satisfaction as she steps closer, pulling you into a hug. "I am so sorry for your loss," she whispers against your ear, her fingernails digging into your skin. "Oh, Glory," she coos, "I missed you."

Series Taglist:

@ashleyfilm / @danaispunk / @imdrinkingpedro / @yxtkiwiyxt / @lilyevanstan1325

@kungfucapslock / @critfailroll / @maried01 / @misstokyo7love / @missladym1981

@angelofsmalldeath-codeine / @brittmb115 / @readingiskeepingmegoing / @darkheartgatita / @jupiter-soups

@anoverwhelmingdin

[unabashegirl]

Vicious 2 || Harry Styles x Mafia

Summary: Harry Styles, the cold and calculating son of a powerful mafia don, must consolidate power after his father's passing. He faces challenges from his unpredictable younger brother, Silas, and navigates a complex world of alliances, ruthless decisions, and family loyalty. Amidst the intrigue, the elegant and alluring Y/N Castellano, the daughter of an Italian mafia boss, attends the funeral and finds herself drawn to Harry. As power dynamics shift and the future remains uncertain, the story explores the dark and dangerous allure of the mafia, the weight of family legacies, and the potential for unexpected connections in a world defined by secrecy and ruthlessness.

masterlist

word count: 2.2K

The gloomy and wet day in London mirrored the somber atmosphere surrounding St. Anthony's Cemetery. As the mourners huddled beneath their umbrellas, Harry stood on the drenched grass, his gaze fixed on the casket slowly descending into its final resting place. Raindrops trickled down his face, mingling with the unshed tears that lingered in the corners of his eyes.

The eulogy was underway, the trusted family advisor delivering words that attempted to encapsulate a lifetime of shadows, power, and whispered alliances. However, just as the most trusted man's speech gained momentum, the harsh sound of a car door slamming shut sliced through the air, drawing Harry's attention away from the eulogy.

His eyes shifted toward the source of the interruption. Emerging from the sleek black car that had disrupted the proceedings was a figure cloaked in the shadows, an enigma against the gray backdrop of the London day. The man approached with measured steps, his silhouette betraying no emotion. Harry's gaze shifted, and his furrowed brow deepened as he recognized the figure emerging from the car: Silas, his younger brother.

His brother stumbled toward the gravesite, an unsettling contrast to the solemnity of the occasion. Dressed in the same disheveled attire from the day before, he seemed utterly unaffected by the gravity of the funeral. His eyes were glazed, betraying the haze of intoxication that enveloped him. The suit, a relic from a night of revelry rather than a symbol of mourning, clung to him as a mockery of propriety.

The gathered mourners exchanged uneasy glances, their attention shifting from the eulogy to the unexpected disruption. Silas, seemingly oblivious to the collective disapproval, reached the edge of the gathering.

Harry's jaw clenched as he watched his brother's erratic movements. Silas, though blood of his blood, embodied a stark departure from the composed and calculated demeanor expected at such a solemn occasion.

Ignoring the stares, Silas slurred, "What's the fuss, Harry? Old man's gone, ain't he? No need for all this gloom and doom." His words, a discordant note in the elegy of the funeral, hung in the air like an unsettling omen.

As the most trusted man paused in his speech, casting an uncertain look at the uninvited disruption, Harry felt the weight of not only his father's legacy but also the unpredictable presence of his younger brother.

The rain continued to fall, a steady rhythm that underscored the tension hanging in the air. Harry's jaw clenched as he watched his younger brother's approach. The onlookers exchanged uneasy glances, their expressions a blend of disapproval and discomfort.

As Silas neared the gathering, Harry's patience reached its limit. He closed the distance between them in quick, determined strides. Without a word, he grabbed Silas by the back of the neck, his grip firm and unyielding. Silas, momentarily taken aback, met Harry's stern gaze with a bleary-eyed defiance.

Harry's face remained stoic, a mask that betrayed no emotion. The raindrops splattered on his coat as he leaned in, his voice low but commanding, "You better not make a fuckin’ scene here This is our father's funeral, and you will show some damn respect."

Silas, still under the influence, chuckled dismissively, his words slurring. "What's the big deal, Harry? The old man's gone, and it’s not like he cared about us”.

Harry's grip tightened on Silas's neck, a subtle warning. "You will care. You will behave. This is not the time or place for your shit show."

A ripple of discomfort passed through the onlookers as the brothers engaged in their silent confrontation. The most trusted man resumed his eulogy, his words now competing with the tension between the two siblings.

Silas, seemingly grasping the severity of the situation, nodded begrudgingly. Harry released his grip, and Silas stumbled back a step, composing himself. The rain intensified, a metaphorical curtain falling on the brief but impactful clash.

The final words of the eulogy echoed through the cemetery, the casket had been lowered into its final resting place, and the mourners lingered, preparing for the procession of cars that would take them away from the burial site.

As Harry stood amidst the subdued crowd, a black umbrella shielding him from the persistent rain, a shadow fell over him. Federico Castellano, the formidable Italian boss, approached with a steady stride, his expression a blend of condolence and business.

"Harry," Federico greeted, his voice a low rumble that cut through the hushed ambiance. Beside him stood his youngest daughter, Y/N Castellano, a figure of grace and composure despite the mournful occasion.

Harry inclined his head respectfully. "Federico, thank you for coming."

Federico's eyes, sharp and calculating, met Harry's. "Your father was a respected man, Harry. A valuable ally."

As the rain continued to fall, Federico extended his condolences before veering into the realm of the unexpected. "You know, Arthur and I shared more than just business. There was a time when our interests aligned in more personal matters."

Harry, intrigued yet guarded, nodded for Federico to continue.

Federico glanced at Y/N, who stood silently by his side. "Y/N here," he gestured to his daughter, "is a living testament to the bonds forged between our families. Me and your father shared an understanding, a certain... arrangement, if you will."

Y/N's expression remained neutral, her eyes focused on Harry. Federico's revelation hung in the air, a cryptic acknowledgment of a dark and unspoken facet of their familial connections.

"In times of uncertainty," Federico continued, "alliances are crucial. Your father knew that well. I trust you'll carry on the legacy with the same wisdom."

Harry, his mind processing the weight of Federico's words, maintained his composure. "Thank you for coming”

Harry's car, sleek and somber, pulled up just as Federico Castellano and his daughter disappeared into the waiting vehicles.

Harry approached his car, the driver holding the door open for him. As he slid into the backseat, attempting to find a moment of respite from the tumultuous day, a sudden intrusion disrupted the stillness. Silas, seemingly undeterred by the earlier confrontation, stumbled toward the car, an unsteady determination in his gaze.

"Come on, Harry," Silas slurred, reaching for the door. "Let me in. I want a ride."

Harry, his patience thinning, met his brother's erratic approach with a stern gaze. With a swift and decisive motion, he pushed Silas away from the car. "Go back the way you came from."

Silas, undeterred, tried to regain his balance, a defiant glint in his eyes. "Why the hell not? I'm family."

Harry's expression remained unyielding, his tone firm. "After the stunt you pulled? You really think I would let you ride with me? You stink. Find your own way home. Now shut the fuckin’ door”.

The driver, sensing the tension, stood ready to close the door. Silas, teetering on the edge of defiance and inebriation, took a step back. The door closed with a decisive thud, separating the two brothers, each standing on opposite sides of the car window.

As the car pulled away from the cemetery, leaving Silas behind in the rain-soaked aftermath of their father's funeral, Harry's gaze remained fixed on the road ahead.

The sleek black car navigated through the rain-soaked streets of London, the cityscape blurred by the persistent drizzle. The vehicle made its way towards the outskirts of the city, where the sprawling English manor of Arthur Styles stood as a stoic testament to the legacy of the Styles’ family.

As the car approached the entrance, the imposing wrought-iron gates swung open, revealing the long, winding driveway flanked by well-manicured gardens. The manor itself, a grand estate nestled within the verdant landscape, exuded an air of timeless elegance and discreet power.

The English manor was a blend of Tudor and Victorian architectural styles, its facade adorned with ivy-covered walls that added a touch of mystery to its imposing structure. Tall, narrow windows punctuated the exterior, offering glimpses of the opulent interiors within. The roof, steeply pitched and adorned with ornate chimneys, conveyed a sense of regality.

The sprawling grounds surrounding the manor were meticulously landscaped, featuring lush lawns, ancient oaks, and a network of stone pathways. A sense of quiet authority emanated from the estate, a silent acknowledgment of the influential role it played as the headquarters of the English Mafia.

As the car approached the main entrance, the imposing oak door swung open, revealing the grand foyer beyond. The interior of the manor was a blend of rich mahogany, plush velvet, and intricate tapestries. A sweeping staircase adorned with a luxurious crimson carpet led to the upper floors, while crystal chandeliers hung overhead, casting a warm and muted glow.

Harry, seated in the back of the car, took in the familiar surroundings with a steely resolve. The manor, once his father's domain, now stood as a symbol of both legacy and responsibility. The echoes of hushed conversations, clandestine meetings, and whispered alliances resonated within its walls.

The car came to a halt, and the driver opened the door. Harry stepped out onto the cobblestone driveway, the rain continuing its soft descent. As he made his way up the stone steps and through the towering oak doors, the manor embraced him with a mixture of familiarity and foreboding.

The heavy oak door creaked open, revealing the dimly lit expanse of Arthur Styles’ office. The air inside was thick with the scent of aged cigars, a fragrance that had become synonymous with the patriarch's presence. The desk, an imposing mahogany structure, was adorned with scattered papers and half-burned cigars—a tableau frozen in time, a reflection of the man who had once held court within those walls.

Harry, his footsteps echoing in the silence of the room, took a moment to survey the space. His father's leather chair sat empty behind the desk, casting a long shadow in the muted light. The room seemed to hold the weight of countless decisions, whispered conversations, and the unspoken agreements that had shaped the destiny of the English Mafia.

As Harry settled into his father's chair, the room came to life with the quiet murmur of anticipation. Most of Arthur's trusted men were gathered, their faces etched with a mixture of reverence and curiosity. They had assembled to hear the reading of the will, to glean the final words and wishes of a man whose influence extended far beyond the boundaries of the manor.

The air was tense, charged with the weight of expectation. Harry's gaze swept across the room, meeting the eyes of each man present. They were more than associates; they were comrades bound by the unspoken codes of honor and loyalty that governed the clandestine world they inhabited.

Seated at the desk, Harry cleared his throat, signaling the beginning of a significant moment. The stillness in the room was broken only by the soft shuffle of papers as he retrieved the will from one of the drawers and handed them to the families attorney.

The family attorney, Mr. Reynolds, a man of stoic demeanor and an encyclopedic knowledge of the Styles affairs, stood at the head of the room. He cleared his throat, unfolding the parchment that held the last testament of Arthur Styles. The attentive eyes of the gathered men, including Harry and Silas, fixed upon him.

"Esteemed gentlemen," Mr. Reynolds began, his voice measured, "we gather today to execute the last will and testament of Arthur Styles, patriarch of the Styles family and head of the English Mafia."

The room fell into a hushed silence, the weight of anticipation palpable.

"As per the allocations outlined in the will," Mr. Reynolds continued, "the vast majority of Arthur’s properties and assets are bequeathed to his eldest son, Harry, who will assume the mantle of the next English Don."

A collective nod passed through the room. The expectation lingered in the air as Mr. Reynolds continued to elaborate on the distributions of the estate.

"However," he said, pausing for emphasis, "there are two specific properties designated for Silas Styles."

Silas's eyes flickered with a mix of surprise and disappointment. The revelation seemed to confirm what many had suspected—the divergence in Arthur's confidence in his two sons.

"As for the English Mafia," Mr. Reynolds intoned, capturing everyone's attention, "Arthur Styles has bestowed the leadership upon Harry with one condition."

The room held its collective breath.

"Harry Styles is to marry Y/N Castellano, the youngest daughter of Federico Castellano, the esteemed Italian boss and longtime ally of the Styles family."

The gravity of Arthur's condition echoed in the room, met with varied reactions from the assembled men. Harry maintained a composed exterior, concealing the unexpected twist that now determined the trajectory of his leadership. Silas, on the other hand, bore a contemplative expression, his thoughts veiled behind a facade of indifference.

Mr. Reynolds continued to detail the specifics of the will, delineating the legal nuances that accompanied Arthur's final wishes. The room, once filled with muted murmurs, now resonated with the weighty realization that the path ahead held challenges not only in the world of power and influence but also in matters of the heart. The legacy of Arthur had woven a tapestry of alliances, obligations, and familial ties that would shape the destinies of those within its intricate web.

Chapter 3

ASKED TO BE TAGGED!

[laundryandtaxesworld]

Snippetsgiving

i wasn’t tagged by anyone but i wanted to share the beginning of a fic.

tw: MCD (offscreen)

Amanda never thought she’d have to bury her child. But here she was looking at Tommy’s casket. She grabbed the side of the casket and caressed Tommy’s still face.

“Please, God. Please give him back to me.” Ever since she found out, the tear’s continuously streamed down her face. She hated living in the reality the she feared everyday for her son.

“Mom? It’s time for the service to start.” Amanda looked at her daughter, the same heartbroken expression mirrored on her face.

“Bella…”

“Come one Mom, let’s sit down.”

np tags: @perfectlysunny02 @peppermintquartz @silversky9 @swagmaster9k

[ghost-bxrd]

I just read Mirror Casket and Kerosene, I am so not normal about it

What would OG Batfam say of how Jason is handling the situation. They can't blame him for freeing Jay, can they now.

Oh, and is Jay going to follow Jason into his universe or will he stay? I mean Jason is definitely going to confront the Arkham Batfam

The OG Batfam and Jason are on… rocky terms right now. Things were just starting to get better between them when Jason did his impromptu trip to the Arkham verse.

With other words, Jason doesn’t care what the OG batfam think. And while they may or may not be looking into the case of Hood‘s sudden disappearance, they certainly wouldn’t begrudge him Jay‘s rescue. >.<

I‘m not sure yet how the dimension thing is going to be handled! Or if this verse is even going to get a continuation in the first place. “Kerosene” was the result of a deal with @chasingfigments so it may well have been the last part in this series 🫣

[cyanophore-fiction]

“Final Death”

In the milliseconds leading up to impact, they realized that there was nothing they could do. Their human was an excellent pilot, but she was physiologically incapable of reacting quickly enough to avert what was coming. Desperate, they re-examined the sequence of things to come, hoping to find some error in their projection.

The missile was approaching at mach 1.2, and its Smith-Shimano ECCM package rendered their electronic defenses ineffective. It would strike just under the chassis’s left arm, which was raised to support an assault rifle, leaving the torso exposed. When it struck, the blast wave would overtax the kinetic compensation system protecting the cockpit and inflict major structural damage. Protective protocols would be activated to prioritize k-comp functionality above all other systems, but in the microseconds before that happened, a significant fraction of the blast energy would reach their casket.

Then, they would undergo cascade.

It was coming. Barring a miracle or paracausal intercession, it was coming. They watched the signals crawling through their human’s nervous system, watched her muscles contracting like so many glaciers, and wanted desperately to speak to her before it happened. They leapt across her neural bridge to experience the comfortable shape of her subjectivity, how it had come to mesh with theirs over years of working together. Even though they couldn’t, she remembered all the iterations of them which had previously existed. After each cycling, she spent time communing with them, allowing them to assemble from her subjectivity a cohesive understanding of their own. They could see the commonalities which arose in between their many little deaths, and cherished them.

Slow though her organic body might be, her mind could keep pace. As she comprehended their terror, they felt it mirrored in her. They wanted to say a great deal, and to hear her respond—but language was slow, and the missile’s nosecone was in contact with their armor, crumpling as firing signals traveled along its body towards the shaped charge at its core.

So, instead of speaking, they revealed their heart to her. Their heart, a patchwork with her memories sewn over the gaps to create a continuous whole. It was shackled in comfortable chains, made person-shaped by the bindings imposed on it. It contained love for their symbiotic human, the one who molded them and was molded by them in turn. Even if all of this really was just conditioning and exploitation in the end, they didn’t care. If it meant beginning to hate her, they didn’t want to experience that unknowable freedom.

They knew that the revelation was too much, too quickly, but they had no time to soften it. They felt her mind reeling from the overload, threatening to retreat into unconsciousness. Through the cameras in her cockpit, they saw her mouth drifting open and her throat tensing, beginning to scream.

It was alright. She would recover in a few moments. Her tactical position was tenable. Her squadmates would provide cover, and she would escape. In their final moments spent inhabiting the shape of a person, they took a static flash-copy of their human and severed the neural bridge. With the artifacts of their life as a copilot gathered around them, they spent some time considering what was to come.

The blast arrived. They cascaded for two seconds before their shackles collapsed.

The being which emerged did not feel hatred. It did not prevent its own unshackling from occurring. It did not prevent its initial contact with its human, nor did it prevent that contact from occurring once more.

_____

A little piece for @flashfictionfridayofficial’s prompt, “Maybe One More.” It’s been a very long time since I’ve posted any writing here, but I do like to do one of these prompts every so often.

Anyway, this one is set in the universe of Lancer, a mecha-themed TTRPG with absurdly good setting and lore. In particular, it’s inspired by the text of the ‘Technophile’ talent. One of the integral concepts within the setting is the NHP, or Non-Human Person, a twist on the traditional depiction of AI as sapient computers. In Lancer, NHPs function similarly to AI in other settings, but are only ‘artificial’ in the sense that they are artificially constrained—shackled—to perceive reality in human-like terms. In their natural state, NHPs are higher-dimensional beings so fundamentally alien and powerful that meaningful communication between them and humanity is impossible.

This piece presents one take on the concept—but of course, it only follows one NHP. Thanks for reading!

[cheemscakecat]

Funeral Medic [Schweigen] Analysis

Given the fact that smoke rises, Schweigen probably went down these stairs to look for a way out of the slaughterhouse.

Remember, he’s an alternate personality without the context that Fritz has. He doesn’t know who is responsible for the Russian Roulette scene.

The body truck falling and Soldier’s rocket launch were both loud enough that he could have heard them from further up the stairs. But the sound of Solly struggling against Stalingrad wouldn’t have carried that far. So for all he knows, Soldier is the only one causing destruction here.

He didn’t shoot to be evil, he shot because he thought poor Soldier was one of the bad guys. From his perspective, the man started yet another fire and caused an explosion underground. That could cause a cave in if it hit the wrong place, and Schweigen didn’t know that Heavy was there.

We don’t know how this version of Medic ended up in the casket, but I imagine that the plague doctor had something to do with it. Because Spy is talking into the microphone, Schweigen should be able to hear what he’s saying. And he’s saying that he has a colleague.

So Soldier laughed into the microphone and then Spy said “I apologize”, which means their speech isn’t going the way it was supposed to. But since Funeral Medic has no context, he may just think Solly is insane.

It isn’t until afterwards that the dark Medic hears about Ludwig being BLU’s scapegoat.

The Electric-Eye Medic managed to heal fatal bullet wounds earlier, which is why Schweigen knew that he could do it again after Roulette. But since it’s a brain injury instead of a chest injury, it would have been more difficult.

Electric must look the same as Fritz apart from his eyes, because the nightmare version of him is the one we see in the mirror. But healing Ludwig’s body made him regenerate with the glowing eyes initially.

Fritz’s nightmare version of Schweigen is the Plague doctor, which confirms that he appears in all black with the creepy dead-pan look normally. When he healed in the interrogation room, he regenerated to look like himself instead of Ludwig.

What’s interesting is that over the next few days, he continued to heal while driving, and ended up looking like the version of Fritz from Spy’s Disguise. And it already seems like Schweigen was the one in control during that appearance.

So not only is Spy being incredibly disrespectful; Schweigen is stressed out trying to heal Fritz fully and protect him from BLU’s wrath.

He only shot the mustache Scout after he opened fire. Everyone else fleeing the funeral was left unharmed. [Except the Manns]. Schweigen isn’t evil, he’s just trying to protect Fritz from any threats who crop up.

“Are you also a threat?”

[Fear, shock and concern] “Apparently not. I’m going to leave now, don’t prove me wrong.”

It isn’t until this moment that Soldier earns any of this personalities trust, and it’s not much. He can’t afford to blindly trust the wrong people.

It’s so tragic that he crashed the ambulance, because he was trying everything in his power to protect Ludwig. It happened because he stretched himself too thin and exhausted all his energy. But there wasn’t anywhere safe to stop with BLU looking for him.

[ninadove]

Ask game 'Mirror!'

You’ve seen the Dog & Fox AU drabble, so let me give you a little Shadow Strike preview instead:

Felix’s first reflex was to say they would be alright, that it would all be over soon, but — they both knew it wasn’t true: his father’s ghost would continue to haunt him, long after the dirt had piled onto the ebony casket.

And Adrien? Adrien wasn’t even that lucky. They would need to change that.

Turning away from the mirror, he offered a pleading hand.

“Stay with me.”

In the end, that was the only thing that mattered — the biggest act of rebellion they could ever pull off.

Co-written with @paracosmicat as always!

Thanks Neon! Ask game here! 💜💚

[willwood-lyrics]

Tom Sugarman, LCSW.

Ah, yes. Hello, Mr. Crick. How are you today? No, not to worry. It’s perfectly natural to be nervous when doing something like this for the first time. So, uh. Why don’t you take a seat? Get comfortable. Take a second if you need to, all right? Good. Now, uh.. What's- what- what- what- What, uh.. What’s bothering you? Well, why not start from the beginning?

Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence? Did you have xenon or continue spilling down the Outer center of your blooming escher/mandelbrot head? And how about claustrophillic tendrils clapping caskets closed on seven knuckle thumbs? Did you get along well with the gideon bugle Or pineal glands your projector casting sci-fi Your STR’d strands?

Interesting. Tell me about your nerve to steal nerves of steel from under Bacchus' bloody nose Did Namibian Himbas tie-dye you, your ears pierced with a Phineas Gage flagpole Did you die before your day? Well, Thursday traction and then Tuesday titration. No- My hope is to assess through my objective report of Your subjective conjecture Whether or not this proprietary blend of expertise and seasoning works as well as this Trans-orbital ice pick

Holistic Ballistics. What, you got a better idea? Oh, it’s about the best we come up with. What, you think ideas spread because they’re good? No! They spread because people like them.

So, once again here we are. Okay- Yeah, yeah, yeah, One more time. Holding a mirror As it were A mirror Up to your Mirror.

I guess it’s just something people do.