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[sydneyestimator0]

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[albertasunrise]

Work Wife - One

Masterlist

Summary: Working as a Secretary and Miller & Sons Construction, you fall hopelessly in love with the eldest son Joel. What you don’t realise is that Joel’s completely in love with you too. What will it take for the two of you to realise whats’s right in front of you?

Pairing: Young Joel Miller x Reader

Warnings: Like AO3, I choose not to give any so the plot isn’t spoiled. This fic is 18+ (So here’s the first chapter as promised! I hope you all enjoy. Let me know what y’all think ♥️… I wrote half of this on my iPad so sorry for mistakes 😅)

Series Masterlist

Working as a secretary at Miller & Son's Construction had its highs and lows. You loved the job. The pay was great, and all the guys treated you impeccably, but there was just one slight problem that, if you were honest with yourself, wasn't really a problem but more of a personal issue. 

You were in love with Joel Miller. 

At 21, Joel was already shaping up to be a fine businessman, taking on a lot of the work from his father so that Cole Miller and his wife Lucia could take more time for themselves. The youngest Miller brother Tommy was shaping up to be a troublemaker. At 17, he was often out drinking with his friends and getting himself arrested and it had fallen to Joel to bail his little brother out every time. 

You were a year younger than Joel but as he always said, years ahead of him on the maturity scale. You had always been an old soul but that hadn't stopped you from developing the biggest schoolgirl crush on Joel the day you had started, two years ago. What had started off as a temporary job before you went off to college became permanent when your mum had gotten sick and your dreams of going to college were dashed. 

Her illness took her a year after she had been diagnosed and with no father to speak of, you were left alone in the house you'd grown up in. Alone, with nothing but the photos on your walls for company. That time had been what had brought you and Joel closer together but had also forged your crush into what it was now. Unrequited love. 

Or so you thought. 

"Sup Pip." Said Joel as he placed a paper coffee cup down beside your keyboard "How's my favourite secretary this mornin'?" 

"I'm you're only Secretary Miller." You chuckled as you picked up your cup to take a sip and hummed at the perfect coffee flavour that exploded across your taste buds "Better now you've brought me coffee." 

"Always happy to assist Pip." He said with a wink and you prayed your flushing cheeks didn't give away how much his wink affected you. 

Pip had been a nickname Joel had affectionately given you around three months after you had started. You had been eating a plum at your desk, not a care in the work and engrossed in the customer email that you were reading that you hadn't noticed that the next bite you had taken had contained the pip. Joel had walked in just in time to witness you choking and, using his first aid training he'd acquired just the week before, had managed to save you from a fruity death. 

From that day he had called you pip. 

Because you'd almost choked on one. 

"Anything I need to know about before I head to the site?" Joel asked, pulling you from the memory of your near-death experience and you shook your head slightly before giving him what you hoped was a bright smile. 

"Yes." You replied as you pulled out the list you had compiled for him "A Mr and Mrs Cork have emailed, wanting a quote for an extension and kitchen refit." You stated as you handed him the email with a post it note with their number on top "You have a call with a new cement supplied at 2 and Gloria Mullins called this morning asking that you call her when you get a chance, apparently her boiler is on the fritz again." 

"I need to tell that woman one of these days that I'm not a plumber." He chuckled to himself as he took the rest of the notes from you. 

"You just need to stop being so nice." You chuckled "You've set their expectations now." 

"I think you're probably right." Joel chuckled as he grabbed his own coffee cup and took a large swig "Anything else?" 

"There's just one more thing." You said shyly as you smiled awkwardly "I need to duck out a little earlier today." 

"Hot date?" Joel asked and you knew he could see you blushing now. 

"Actually yeah." You answered as you looked down at your hands, missing the way Joel's expression dropped "Simon asked me to dinner." 

"Simon Richards?" He asked and you nodded "Oh, wow. I uh... I didn't realise you were into him." Joel shrugged before taking another sip of coffee to try and settle his nerves. 

"Well, he's cute and sweet and it's not like I have guys lining up to ask me out." You replied, your smile almost sad "So I thought I should at least go. See if there's any chemistry there." 

"Sure... Of course." 

Joel knew his response was cold but he couldn't help it. Learning that you were going on a date just made him want to find the nearest pillow and scream. These feelings he had for you drove him crazy and it didn’t help that all his employees knew how he felt about you too. He’d allowed them to plant false hope when they told him that it was obvious you felt the same way. It was becoming painfully clear now that that wasn’t the case. 

He needed to get over you. 

You couldn’t help but notice the slight icy tone that had coated Joel’s response to your request and you couldn’t help be feel a little confused by it. You never asked for things. Often worked late to make sure everyone and everything was up to date. You would argue that you were one of his hardest workers so sue you for wanting to let your hair down a little. 

It’s not like he felt for you the way you did for him. 

“Sure.” He said after a short and awkward pause “Lord knows you deserve an early finish.” He chuffed before gathering his bag, the papers you’d given him and his coffee “And, seeing as I won’t be back today and Friday, I suppose I’ll see you Monday!”

“That you will!” 

“Enjoy your date, Pip.” he finished before giving you a friendly wave and then leaving. 

“I’ll try to.” you said sadly as you watched him walk away. 

...

"You are my hero!" Hailed Gloria as she clapped in delight at Joel's handy work. 

"Was an easy fix." Joel shrugged as he waved the older woman off. 

"You always talk yourself down." She chuckled, her Jamaican accent coming out thicker with her statement. 

"I'm just speaking the truth ma'am." 

"How many times do I have to tell you to call me Gloria?" The older woman chuckled and Joel winked as he replied. 

"At least once more."

"Auntie G... you home?" Came a voice that Joel didn't recognise and he looked up just as the owner walked into the room he had occupied with Gloria.  

"Ah, darlin' this is that fine man Joel I was tellin' you about." Said Gloria as she smiled at her niece. 

Joel was instantly aware of the fact he was wearing paint-stained jeans and a t-shirt so worn that he was sure this mysterious girl could see his nipples through it. 

"Joel, darlin' this is my niece, Eliza." Gloria stated and Joel quickly rubbed his hands down the front of his jeans before taking the hand that was being held out to him.

"Nice to meet ya' darlin'." He said sweetly as he gave her a shy smile "Was just helpin' Gloria here with her boiler. Darn thing needs replacin' really but-"

"I won't replace something just because it's a little saucy with me sometimes.' 

"You won't replace it because poor Joel here keeps fixing it for free." Eliza teased and Joel scratched the back of his neck nervously as he replied. 

"Well not completely free." He chuckled "She sends me away with weeks worth of food." 

"You're too skinny." Gloria chuffed "No girls gonna want to marry a man with no meat on his bones." 

Joel chuckled at the older woman's statement before looking back at Eliza who was grinning at him as she practically fluttered her thick black lashes at him.  

"Well, I need to get to that meeting I was talking about." Stated Joel as he coughed nervously. 

"Don't forget to pop by later for your food!" Gloria ordered as she watched him collect his tools "I made you my famous jerk chicken with rice... peas on the side." She finished with a wink.

"Why on the side?" Eliza asked and Gloria simply rolled her eyes as she said.

"Boy don't like them mixed in." 

Eliza mouthed an 'ooooooh' before watching as Joel started to leave. 

"I'll see you later to grab that food." 

"Or I could bring it by?" Eliz suggested, "You give me your address and I can swing by and drop it off when you're home."

"Oh that's-"

"Ah, splendid idea." Gloria interrupted, leaving Joel looking like a fish out of water "Don't worry dear, I'll give her your address. Get her to drop it by around 9. You're normally home then, right?"

"Right but-"

"9 it is now you best get going or y'all be late." Said Gloria as she practically herded Joel out the door. Leaving him speechless when he made it back to his truck. 

What an earth just happened?

...

The restaurant that Simon had brought you to was nice. Not too fancy but not exactly a dive either. Conversations had been a little awkward at first. You'd not really been on many dates but after being honest with Simon about your lack of dating experiences, he put you at ease and now after one glass of wine and a very large meal, the two of you were chuckling away as subjects came easier to you both.  

"So how long have you worked for Mr Miller?" You asked as you sipped at your second glass of wine. Simon had already been at the company when you had started and was a few years older than you and Joel. 

"More or less straight outa of high school." He replied as he took a swig of his soft drink "Have always been good with my hands so when Cole put up an advert for an apprentice I marched myself over to his office and waited till he got back to speak to him..." 

"Wow." You chuckled around the rim of your glass. 

"Guy liked my tenacity. Offered me the job on the spot." 

"Well, you know my story so..." You trailed off, smiling sweetly at him as he grinned at you.

"So glad you agreed to come out with me." Simon confessed, his cheeks tinging pink "Been wantin' to ask you out a while but didn't outa respect for Joel, but can only wait so lo-"

"What do you mean, out of respect for Joel?" You asked and Simon's expression took on one of a deer caught in headlights.

"Well... with him being into you and all." Simon clarified and your brows drew together as you shook your head.

"Joel isn't into me." You pushed and Simon grew more uncomfortable with each passing moment. 

"He's been crushin' on you more or less from day dot." Your date continued when he saw you needed further clarity "We've always teased him for it but he never made a move so I thought, you know, with him not trying to date you it'd be okay for me to." 

You weren't sure what to do with the information you'd just received. For years now you had pushed your feelings down for Joel because you believed he didn't return them. So to learn that he might really put a spammer in the works for you. 

The subject moved on after that but the atmosphere wasn't as relaxed. After Simon dropped you home, you allowed what he'd told you to run on repeat in your brain. Keeping you from getting to sleep until late that night. Yet, you came to a decision before you finally drifted off. You were going to go to Joel's in the morning and ask him.  

You had to be sure.  

...

Joel wasn't surprised when there was a knock at his door at 9 pm sharp. He opened the door to see a beaming Eliza on the other side, her arms full of food containers. 

"Shit, come in." Joel said before grabbing a few containers to ease the load. "Let me take some of those." 

"Auntie G likes to feed you huh?" She chuckled as she followed Joel into his kitchen. 

"I had to buy a second freezer." Joel stated and Eliza barked out a laugh, taking Joel by surprise. 

"She's always been a feeder." She chuckled before placing the food down beside where Joel had put the other containers "Think it's a Caribbean thing."

Joel chuckled before turning to face his guest. 

"Thank you for dropping this by. You really didn't have to go through all the trouble."

"It's not trouble is I offer." Eliz chuckled and Joel chuckled at her reply. 

"Either way... that you for bringing the insane amount of food your aunt,

made me over."

"You are quite welcome." Eliza replied as she placed herself within kissing distance of him "I wanted to see you again anyway." 

Joel blushed at her statement. Taken aback by how forward she was then, in what felt like the blink of an eye, she was kissing him. Starting softly and gradually growing hotter as tongues tangled. 

"I uh... I feel like I should tell you that I'm kinda getting over someone so I'm not looking for anything serious right now," Joel stated and Eliza chuckled. 

"Who said I wanted anything serious either?" She whispered against his lips "I think I can be of great help... assisting you in getting over whoever this person is." 

Joel looked into Eliza's eyes a moment, trying to discern her endgame. Then, when he was sure that she was being honest with him he kissed her again. The food is forgotten as clothes are discarded in a breadcrumb trail to his bedroom. 

... 

You let out a steadying breath before knocking on Joel's door. Your slightly shaky left hand clutching the to-go coffee tray that contained your and Joel's favourite coffees. You chuckled when you heard Joel inside, calling out to wait a moment before suddenly opening the door, looking rather flustered. 

"Pip." He said as his expression turned from surprised to confused "What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you about something." You replied with a smile "I brought you a coffee. Mind if I come in?"

"Now's not a great time... what was it you wanted to talk about?" He replied nervously, smiling awkwardly as you handed him the coffee. 

"It's just about something Simon told me on our date last night." You chuckled "You see he said that you have-"

"Who's this?" Asked a woman that you didn't recognise, dressed in a shirt you assumed was Joel's and nothing else. Her brown skin glowing in the early morning light. 

"Oh, I didn't realise you had company." You said awkwardly as you started to take a few steps backwards "I'll um... I'll see you Monday." You choked as you fought to keep your tears at bay, but in doing so you missed the step down and went tumbling onto your backside. Your coffee going all over your arm. 

"Shit... Pip, are you okay?" Joel shrieked as he leapt towards you, stopping dead when you held your hand up to stop him... 

"Fine... I'm fine."

"That coffee'll be skalding." He said as he took another ginger step towards you "We need to get your arm under some cold water or else it'll blister." 

"Please just let me go." You choked, your resolve crumbling under the weight of your sadness and embarrassment "I... I just need to go." You affirmed and Joel nodded, giving you a small smile before stepping back into the threshold of his home "Bye Joel."

The older Miller brother watched with concern etched into his features as you left. Glancing at Eliza who was watching you and looking equally worried. 

"You think she's okay?" She asked and all Joel could do was shake his head as he replied. 

"I don't know."

...

You spent the rest of the weekend dreading Monday morning. You felt like such a fool going over to Joels to, you had hoped, profess your love but instead, you had fallen ass over tit in front of him and his date and burned yourself in the process. Said injury was now wrapped in gauze and throbbing with each knock and graze of your arm on your desk. You had spent the morning wishing you lived somewhere colder so you could hide your accident. 

But alas, it's 100 degrees outside and you were forced to wear a short-sleeved blouse. The air-con once again broke at the most inconvenient moment.

"Morning Pip." Said Joel as he stepped into view, placing your coffee down as he did every morning. 

"Morning." You replied, not takimg your eyes off your computer screen. 

"How's the arm?" He asked upon seeing the brilliant white bandage wrapped around it. 

"Killing me." You answered shortly, still not looking at the man who was desperately trying to pry any form of conversation out of you. 

After a long, heavy pause, Joel spoke again. His question finally tearing your eyes away from your monitor. 

"Did I do or say something to upset you?" He asked, his signature kicked puppy look making your stomach twist.

"No." You answered simply and he nodded. 

"What was it that you wanted to talk to me about?" He asked and your brows drew together "On Saturday... you said you needed to talk to me." He clarified "Said Simon had told you something on your date."

"Doesn't matter now." You bluntly replied before returning to the email you'd been writing before. 

"Seemed important then." 

"Well, it isn't now." You growled, your tone stopping the conversation dead.

"Okay." He couldn't hide how your aggressive tone wounded him. He didn't understand why you were suddenly so cold towards him. What could he have possibly done? 

He opened his mouth to speak, only to be interrupted by Simon as he blasted into the office. 

"Morning Boss!" He said chirpily before turning his attention to you "Morning beautiful."

"Morning" you replied with a smile that he returned tenfold. 

"Fancy going out with me again on Friday?" He asked and you nodded without hesitation "Great!... see you later beautiful."

You grinned at Simon as he left. Not seeing Joel's crestfallen expression.

Perhaps he did need Eliza. 

Next

For updates follow @albertasunrise-ficsblog

[queensunshinee]

Time Of Our Lives || Part 15

Part 15:

A week after Liana started working in a small Architecture Firm in New York, her boss called her in for a meeting. Anxiety took over for a moment. She was sweating in her hands and felt like she was going to faint as she sat there, waiting for the 50-year-old man to tell her that she had probably managed to mess up and now she was fired.

"Oh, Liana Levy, the girl of the hour!" He walked into the office cheerfully, causing her to scratch her nose for a second and mentally curse herself. "Don't worry, you're not in trouble." He probably understood her level of stress. No matter how hard she tried, Liana could never hide what she was thinking. "I don't understand what's going on..." She forced a smile, trying not to stutter.

"We received a construction project and the client specifically requested you. He saw your final project in Oxford and was impressed." The man explained. "Specifically me?" Liana asked. "Yes, it's for building a house, in a suburb near New York. To design from scratch. He must really trust you because he insisted that you manage everything." He seemed enthusiastic. Too enthusiastic to be giving such a new employee such a large responsibility. "Of course, you'll get a percentage of this project, and it's one of the most expensive our company has taken on this year. You should be happy; I'll assemble a team for you." He concluded.

"Can I get some details about who ordered the project?" Liana found the mental strength to ask, while Ronen, her boss, was already buried in paperwork. "His name is Art Donaldson. If you follow tennis, you probably know him; he's a rising star in the sport," he said without looking at her. As Liana returned to her desk, the news spread through the office like wildfire. Everyone wondered how the girl with the least experience got the responsibility for the most expensive contract the company had received this year.

Tashi saw Liana from afar as she threw balls to Art and he chased after them. She hadn't seen the her in over three years, but you could tell from Liana's body language that Tashi wouldn't want to be in Art's shoes at the moment. Her steps were quick and long, and she was flushed. All her movements radiated nerves and anger.

"Can I steal him?" Art turned in complete surprise, completely missing the ball Tashi sent his way. "Hey, Liana." Tashi said to her in an amused tone, "Nice to see you." she added. They never had a special connection, but she knew that if the woman in front of her had managed to wrap Patrick and Art around her little finger for years, there must be something worth not ignoring. Tashi didn't see it tho.

"You too." She said to Tashi in response but didn't look at her; her gaze was fixed on Art, "Now, Donaldson," her jaw clenched, and Tashi saw Art swallow and not even ask her before he climbed to the stands, two steps at a time. "Sure, Art, of course you can leave in the middle of training." Tashi said sarcastically. "Maybe I'll bring you his head on a platter." Liana replied instead of him, causing Tashi to raise her hands in surrender. She didn't want to get involved in whatever this was.

Art decided he could look at her like this for hours. Flushed cheeks, glazed green eyes, quick walk toward the shade. He wanted to hug her for a second. To tell her that everything would be okay. That whatever it was, he would solve it for her. But all that after he looked at her a bit longer, while she was just like this. Almost wild. Almost animalistic. Acting purely on instinct. Not thinking about consequences. Only about the here and now. And in her current here and now, Art was present. And after three years of complete ignorance, he called it a win.

"What the actual fuck is wrong with you?" she asked. Her leg was shaking. He couldn't ignore it. But more than anything, he wanted to chuckle. It didn't suit her. This level of anger. She was so small. So delicate. She looked like she could murder him. Physically lift one of the benches and end him right here and now. "A lot of things... right now I don't really like my haircut, I switched barbers and I feel like he cut off too much hair, what do you think, Li?" he answered, trying not to laugh. He couldn't take the situation seriously.

"You know that was my workplace, right?" she said, and he nodded. "Of course, I know. I was very specific in my requirements." He shrugged. Liana could murder him. She was sure of it. His smile was too smug. If she pushed him, maybe he would fall and roll down all the stairs. He deserved it. "Art. People in the office where I've been working for only a week think I sucked your dick and that's why I got a job that's going to earn me more money than I've made in all the years I've existed." she almost screamed. To Art's credit, he held back really well and didn't say 'technically you did suck my dick and sometimes I still imagine it when I want to cum quickly.'

"Li, you're exaggerating." He rolled his eyes instead. "Am I exaggerating? A week! I've been working there for a week! Suddenly the biggest project comes in, and I'm the one managing it? Have you lost your mind?!" she asked. Well, maybe she did scream. He was wandering if Tashi could hear them. She wouldn't let him off the hook. But he didn't care that much. "I bought land and I need to build a house. That's the truth," he said with feigned defeat. "All the construction and planning companies are out of business?" she replied. Her hands were folded under her chest and Art was a man who respected himself and her, so he didn't stare. He only glanced at her chest occasionally.

"I don't know anyone who talks about buildings like you talk about buildings." He shrugged again. As if it were a logical answer. As if Liana were the only architect in the world. "I have no experience, Art. All my experience is completely theoretical." She said in defeat. And Art knew he had officially won. "Liana, I trust you. Besides, think about how exciting this is. Your first project, and you have completely free rein. I trust your taste 100 percent." He stated, not taking his eyes off her. He didn't trust her taste 100 percent; she was in a relationship with Patrick. But he trusted her taste, her abilities, and her passion. She talked about buildings like he talked about tennis. He had a way to give her a good start, not even she could stop him from doing that.

"What do you mean by free rein?" she asked. "Whatever you want to do with this land, do it. Without thinking about the budget. I won some big tournaments this year. It's all good." He shrugged again. As if it were no big deal, but he continued to scrutinize her. He wanted to see that she was proud of his achievements.

"I need to talk to Patrick." She stated, causing Art to raise an eyebrow. "Why?" "Because he's my boyfriend, Art. And this might not sit well with him." She concluded, turning her back to him and walking away. Once again, Art had always been a respectful man, but the sight of her ass walking away in anger was an image he planned to keep in his head for the near future.

"What was that?" Tashi asked, half amused and half curious. "Liana." Art replied, not wanting to elaborate. "I didn't ask who it was, I asked what it was." She clarified, rolling her eyes as she walked to the other side of the net and picked up her racket, seeing Art mimic the action. "That was a point for Art." He answered, more to himself. Tashi hadn't seen Art play like he did in that practice since they were at Stanford.

"Of course not, Liana." Patrick looked horrified. "What do you mean 'of course not'?" she responded. "You are not going to build Art Donaldson's house." He sat down on the torn couch that one of his friends had given them as a gift, shifting his gaze from her to the TV that was on the floor. "I don't have a choice, you know that, right Patrick?" she asked the obvious.

He laughed. The smug bastard laughed. "Of course you have a choice. You just want to work closely with Art. Stand next to him and have him sweat near you while he whispers things about the house in your ear, Liana. Do you masturbate to that when I'm not here?" he responded. "You're an idiot. You really, really are an idiot and need some medical help. You know that? It's clinical in my opinion." she said, completely exhausted from the day's twists and turns. She stood with her back to him and her face to the fan.

"Do you understand the concept of work, Patrick? Do you know what 'boss' means? Do you know what it means when someone else decides your schedule? Do you understand discipline? Because for us to have money for a freaking couch that doesn't smell like piss, one of us needs to work." she said, turning her head towards him.

He looked at her with disgust. No less, no more, disgust. "So, you've decided to be Art Donaldson's whore?" he asked with feigned calm, as if it were a logical question. She turned fully and approached him, crouching in front of him and looking directly into his eyes. "You have 5 seconds to apologize before this becomes the last time you see me in your life." Her gaze was darker. Almost aggressive. Uncharacteristic. He really pushed her to the edge and back in seconds.

"Liana, you must see—" he started, looking aside, unable to contain such level of rage directed at him. "First, apologize for what you said, then speak." She stood up and moved away from him but didn't break eye contact. Expecting him to look at her again. "I'm sorry, of course I don't think you're Art's whore, come on, Liana." He looked at her, trying to minimize what he had said.

She rolled her eyes in response and went back to standing in front of the fan. "You must see what he's doing." He continued from before. "He's building a house you're imagining, Liana. You're building a house you love. Who do you think he wants to live there? Do you really think he's building your dream house for himself? Do you really think Art Donaldson thinks you're that talented?" he almost scoffed at the end.

Patrick didn't believe she could be that naive. Something in him knew no one could be that naive. He was sure part of Liana wanted Art's closeness just as much as he knew Art wanted hers. "You don't think I'm that talented?" she asked, turning her head to him but not her whole body. He hated the fact that recently, even when they were fighting, not all her attention was on him. The fight didn't consume her entirely like it did to him. Right now, she was more concerned with being hot than being angry at him.

"Of course I think you're talented, Liana," he sighed. Not understanding how he ended up in this corner. "Good, because I am really fucking talented. Why are you on the couch by the way? Don't you have a tournament in two days?" she suddenly asked. "I'm resting." "No, you're giving up on yourself. Again." She rolled her eyes.

Liana saw Art training for the same tournament today. They had been in New York for over a month, and Patrick had been to the tennis court four times; Liana knew because she counted. "I'm going to build him the fucking house, Patrick, it's my job, and I want to have money to buy a TV stand. If you don't like it, you're welcome to find yourself a simple, ordinary job of simple, ordinary people that will earn an amount of money that won't make me hesitate whether to buy oat milk or regular milk but then suffer from a stomachache because I want a cup of coffee but I'm lactose intolerant." she took a breath for a moment, "And if you ever call me someone's whore again, because of your stupid insecurity, I will personally cut off your dick. The only one who has been unfaithful in this relationship is you, so don't project your shit onto me." she concluded the conversation with a door slam.

Some days, Liana thinks she hates him. There are too many of those recently.

"I can't fucking hear you," Liana yelled into the phone as she walked among the people who had come to the tournament in New York. "Can you hear me now?" Melissa asked, but Liana heard her voice breaking up. "Hardly." She sighed. Liana missed London. She came to the almost tragic realization that the only person she knew in America and (mostly) wanted to stay in touch with was Patrick. She never had friends here. There was Rebecca, but they didn't keep in touch. Once, she could call Art her friend, but that time was far behind her. All the friends she made in recent years were left behind, and she had to build herself a new social circle. Until she managed to do that, she called Melissa every other day.

"He has a tournament today, and I just know he'll be eliminated after two matches, so why even bother?" she mumbled into the receiver. "I hope you're not talking about me, Li, because that would hurt my ego." She heard Art's voice behind her, as smug as ever. He knew she wasn't talking about him. He won awards. He was on a different level. He had a fresh campaign with Adidas. He was building a house while she didn't even have a TV stand. Liana wanted to choke him.

"I'm on the phone," she said coldly. "Someone I know?" He still spoke in the same amused tone. "No, Donaldson, you don't know her." She rolled her eyes. "Is that Art? The Art?" Melissa said in response over the phone. "Shut up," Liana shot back, unable to focus on both her and the guy in front of her, who looked as young as he looked in college and probably just as dumb. "Maybe I should know her; every friend of yours is a friend of mine, you know, according to the transitive property and all," he said, trying to grab the phone from her. "The transitive property would imply we're friends, Art, which is far from reality." She rolled her eyes again, and he chuckled as she moved away from him. "Asshole," Liana mumbled, almost forgetting the conversation she was having. "An asshole you wish you could fuck," Melissa declared, laughing. "Anyway, I can barely hear you," Liana responded, hanging up. She received a text a second later, 'Love you, bitch. Fingers crossed for Patrick at the tournament. Don't worry too much; it causes wrinkles.' At least someone still knew how to make her smile.

Art found Patrick smoking on a bench. He took a deep breath as he approached him, wearing the best smile he could muster. "If it isn't Patrick Zweig, the one and only," he said casually. Patrick raised an eyebrow at him. "Donaldson," Patrick said. And Art could see that he was the last person Patrick wanted to see. But it's tennis. It's a tennis tournament in America. What did he think would happen? "What, you didn't come all this way to see me?" Art asked with a laugh. Aware that the last time he asked this, Patrick was still with Tashi, and Art thought he cared that he was with Tashi.

"How are you man?" he sat down next to him. "Are you hitting on my girlfriend?" Patrick didn't like beating around the bush, especially not with Art. He hadn't seen Art in so long, and the unfamiliarity was surreal. "Your girlfriend." Art chuckled. "I'm surprised you two have lasted this long. You have to tell me the secret; the longest relationship I had was a month," he responded.

"Good sex," Patrick replied, looking Art directly in the eyes. Knowing that the fact Patrick had been sleeping with her for so many years definitely bothered him. It sat at the edge of his thoughts constantly. Art chuckled again. "Too bad you told her to come here, Patrick," he said, planning to leave when he realized the conversation wasn't progressing. "Too bad I told my girlfriend to come see me play tennis?" Patrick raised an eyebrow. "You forget that long before she was your girlfriend, she was my lucky charm." He walked away without giving Patrick a chance to respond.

Hey guys :) I really love this part for no particular reason. Hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I was enjoying writing it. Any predictions? Any thoughts? can't wait to hear from you as always. Tell me if you want to be added to the taglist xx

taglist: @soberbabes @nina357 @lamoursansfin @marley1773 @ruyaas-world @apolloscastellan @primlovesdilfs @fangirl-kimora @serenadingtigers @imbabycowboy @do-it-for-kicks @izzywags478 @4deline08 @igotmajordaddyissues @jackierose902109 @ganana @yoitsme-04 @swetearss

[v1nsmoke]

𝐌𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐘 𝐅𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐊 // 𝐉𝐎𝐇𝐍 𝐇𝐀𝐍𝐂𝐎𝐂𝐊 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑

oneshot - fallout's john hancock x reader

tw: mentions of drugs (usual hancock activity)

summary: after days of exiting goodneighbor, you and hancock finally get to talk

fandom: fallout

a/n: there is not enough talk about this fella omg… now that liking the ghoul from the fallout show is accepted, i can come forward (i chose the “romance hancock” option every playthrough). no pronouns used, so gender neutral ig? also the inspiration for the title is that one song thats viral on tiktok rn, also galvanized square steel mentioned

tags: -

wc: 0.6k

“Day twenty-five since leaving Vault 111, today is Monday and my location is Diamond City, it’s currently 2:41 PM. Me and my companion are at the noodle shop,” you say, speaking into your Pip-boy. 

Recently, you’ve been documenting every day, usually just a brief summary on that day’s experiences. These experiences consisted of hourly radroach attacks, accidental overdose on jet, or encounters with hostile Mr. Handy’s. Or accidental near-death situations with a deathclaw. That only happened once. 

You weren’t sure anybody would ever hear these, even better, be interested in these daily logs. Your companion seemingly couldn’t care less about these logs, as he ate his portion of ramen next to you. 

“The Institute remains undefeated, and I doubt it will change today, I’m not in the mood for it,” you continue.

“If it depended on your mood, it would be there forever,” Hancock cuts in with his sarcastic remark.

A sigh escapes your lips at his words.

“Maybe I should switch back to Dogmeat and send you back to Goodneighbor,” you reply.

“Now, what good would that do for you?”

“It would spare me from more of these remarks.”

“But can Dogmeat give you this?” He asks as he slides you a jet.

Hesitantly, but you accept it with a smile. 

“John Hancock, the ghoul you are,” you sigh.

A smile creeps onto his features. 

“See? You like me enough.”

“Whatever helps you sleep…”

You’ve been traveling with Hancock for the past week or so, after you accepted the offer of Bobby, who just so happened to lie to you. One thing led from another, and after finishing off Hancock’s bodyguard, you managed to solve the bad blood between the two of you by killing Bobby herself. 

Hancock was useful and good company, helping out where he could and making small talk with you. Not to mention that he was supplying you with a different kind of drug every day. They don’t have that stuff in Vaults…

Last night, the both of you got high as hell in the home you bought with hard-earned caps here, in Diamond City. It was mostly a box, so you decided to illegally expand it with galvanized square steel and eco-friendly wood veneers. So, after the finished construction - that lasted four days with the cheap and friendly workforce including Little John (Hancock) and yourself -, the two of you decided to celebrate.

He plopped down onto the mattress - the construction fee was too much for you to spend even more caps on a normal bed -, resting his back against the wall. You popped open a bottle of Nuka-Cola, taking your place on the mattress next to him.

“So, how do ya like it?” He asks, taking a Jet out of his pocket.

“So far so good,” you reply with a sigh.

“That’s all? Not ‘I love this place more than the Vault’?”

“I do like it more than the Vault, cause you’re here.”

He stays quiet for a few seconds before speaking up.

“That’s good.”

“That’s all? Not ‘Wow I, too, am really glad that I’ve got you and get to share Jet with you and that you defended me from that Deathclaw’?”

He lets out a slight chuckle, hanging his head low. 

“Thank you, then. For these past few days I’ve spent with you. Never thought I would find anybody who would accept me as their companion.”

© v1nsmokes 2024. Do not modify, translate or rewrite.

[chrysochroma]

A Summer’s Ball

This is my work as a part of the @mcytblraufest exchange, as a collaboration with @gaytimeswith-scar :D

thank you to @redistooviolent for beta reading!!

Check out the art that this is based on!

Read on Ao3

Rating: General

Words: 14.7k

Fandom: Double Life

Warnings: Bad parenting, Self doubt, Mild self deprecation

Jimmy’s steps echoed through the empty halls of the manor he had lived in all his life, wringing his hands as he walked. His eyes flitted across the walls, focusing in on every crack and chip, each one only proving to worsen his state. A calm breeze floated past him as he neared the end of the hallway. It was nice outside—the perfect temperature, sunny with only a few clouds dotting the sky, accompanied by the occasional sound of birds chirping. Despite that, Jimmy’s face was locked in a frown.

Finally, he reached the end of the hallway. He let his hands fall to his sides, then exhaled slowly and shakily. He stood just before the floor dropped off, a jagged crack snaking from the edge towards him, almost touching the toes of his boots. His eyes were focused not on the gorgeous scenery in front of him, but its broken, charred frame instead.

The walls around him were completely gone, cracked, charred at the edges, same as the floor. It was like someone had taken a giant ax and chopped off the patio that used to exist here, which was an explanation he much preferred to the truth. In reality, he had been the one to cause the destruction. It started as just a small fire, just a small source of warmth in the cool night, but quickly grew out of hand much faster than he could prevent. 

It was his fault, no doubt about it. It was his fault that their annual Summer Ball had to be canceled, his fault that his parents had to spend money on expensive repairs, his fault that he had lost one of the only places in this house that he truly loved. It was his fault, and his parents certainly had not forgotten. There was no way they would. And with the way they were acting, forgiveness might even be out of the question. In their defense, he doubted he would forgive himself, either. It was the only place where he could find some kind of peace and he went and burnt it to ashes, all over some stupid little fire. It wasn’t even cold outside that night. It was a dumb mistake and it cost him almost everything. 

Jimmy spun on his heel and strode away from the window and its charred frame, straight into another person. 

He jumped back, already starting to frantically apologize as the other person took a startled half-step away. 

“I’m so sorry!” Jimmy blurted out, his hands once again clasped together nervously. 

“Oh, it’s no problem, it was my fault too. Sorry about that,” the other person replied, a faint, crooked smile on his face. 

He had what seemed to be a carpenter’s belt on, the pockets filled with various tools, and the collar of his shirt was slightly askew. His golden blond hair was tied into a ponytail with a deep red ribbon, and there was a smudge of dirt on one of his cheeks, although Jimmy could’ve sworn that they hadn’t even started construction yet. His eyes sparkled in the sunlight let in through the open hallway, a warm, almost reddish shade of brown that was absolutely captivating to Jimmy. 

A full three seconds of silence passed before Jimmy rattled out a response. “No, uh, I’m sorry. I thought everyone had left already—you’re with the carpentry company, right?” 

The other person nodded. “I am. Here to fix, uh, that.” He gestured towards the lack of walls behind Jimmy, who barely managed a small nod in response. “So you must be James Solidarity, right?” 

Jimmy nodded again. “You can call me Jimmy,” he offered, the sentence quick and a little too quiet. 

He gave a small nod. “Alright then, Jimmy, you can call me Tango.”

Jimmy blinked. “Tango.”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” Tango joked. 

Jimmy gave a small chuckle along with him, trying to ignore his pounding heart and Tango’s playful smile. 

Then Tango locked eyes with him, still smiling. “You seem pretty cool,” he said. “See you tomorrow, Jimmy.”

Jimmy froze. Forget pounding, his heart skipped what felt like a concerning amount of beats as he floundered for a response. “Uh, yeah, you too!” He sputtered.

Tango gave another small smile that sent Jimmy’s heart back to thumping hard against his ribcage, then turned and started walking back down the hallway. Jimmy stayed exactly where he was, feet seemingly frozen to the ground. 

“Hey, Jimmy!” A voice called from behind him, one which he already knew, completely engraved into his memory from the only time they had talked to each other. Tango.

Jimmy spun around to face him, meeting the sparkling eyes of someone he had met only a few days prior. “Tango, hi!” He blurted out, more startled than he’d like to admit. “So, uh, how are ya?”

“I’m doing good, just been working on some other small projects,” Tango replied casually. “I made this sign for a bakery in town—they just needed their name carved and stuff—but they gave me some of these…” He trailed off, reaching into one of the pouches on his belt to retrieve a small package wrapped in brown paper, which he tore open to reveal a stack of cookies. He picked one up and held it out to Jimmy with a precious, giddy, almost child-like happiness on his face. “Want a cookie?” 

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure!” He accepted the cookie from Tango and took a nibble out of it, internally screaming at himself for his awkwardness. At the same time, the cookie filled his mouth with a rich, sugary taste, which distracted him from his own embarrassment for just a second. 

Tango took a bite out of his own cookie, absentmindedly nodding as he chewed.

“They’re good,” Jimmy said, taking another bite from his. 

“Ye-ghh,” Tango agreed, mouth still full. 

A snicker escaped Jimmy’s mouth before he could stop it, his face immediately going red. “I-”

He started to apologize, but was cut off by a snort from Tango, who was holding back laughter of his own. Jimmy’s words fizzled out, replaced by another chuckle at Tango’s reaction. The pair caught each other’s eyes, both smiling, which caused another rush of pink to cross Jimmy’s cheeks. He found himself relaxing, regardless of the usual stress this kind of situation would cause him. Instead, he was focusing on the crumbs stuck on Tango’s upper lip, the strand of golden blond hair sticking straight up from his head, the pencil that was close to falling from its place tucked behind his ear, the faint scar across his pointer finger, the stray eyelash on his cheek—

Then another voice called from deeper inside the house. “Tango!”

Tango’s head swiveled to the source of the sound before looking back to Jimmy. “Guess I’m needed,” he shrugged. 

“Yeah, of course,” Jimmy replied, his face serious again. “Thanks for the cookie! It was really good.”

“‘Course, Jimmy,” Tango smiled. “I’m glad you liked it.” Then he shoved the rest of his cookie in his mouth before jogging off in the direction of the voice.

Jimmy managed to give him one final smile before their eye contact broke. “See ya in a bit, Tango.”

“Tango,” Jimmy started, walking up to him. “What are you working on today?”

“Just planning out some things before swinging a hammer into your wall,” he joked, giving a faint smirk at Jimmy’s chuckle. He set down his pencil and turned to him. “How are you doing today, Jimmy?”

“I’m doing well, thank you for asking,” he responded, almost automatically. “Although, I was wondering…”

“Yeah?”

“Where’s that bakery? The one that gave you the cookies yesterday? You never told me.”

“Those cookies were pretty good, weren’t they?” Tango agreed. “You could get some for that ball you guys have,” he added, Jimmy almost cringing at the mention before quickly moving past it.

“Well, that’s not the only reason I want to go there.” The pair made eye contact, Tango responding with a simple eyebrow raise. Jimmy continued after the slightest second of hesitation, “I want to see the sign you made.”

“Oh,” Tango said, not expecting Jimmy’s response. A slight tinge of red spread across his cheeks. “Well it’s not much, just a piece of wood with some letters carved in it—”

Jimmy waved him off. “I’m sure it’s worth seeing. Besides, those cookies were good.”

Tango nodded. “They were. Well, uh, if you really want to go, it’s the Red Velvet Bakery, next to the General Store.”

Jimmy nodded, recalling the area that he was talking about. “Right, well, I’ll have to visit sometime. Perhaps you could come with, show me around,” he offered.

“Perhaps I shall,” Tango smiled. “You just let me know when.”

Jimmy nodded back to him, then left the room, letting Tango resume his work. 

Sunlight covered the hardwood floor in rectangles cut out by window panes, the same pattern also draped across Jimmy as he sat, legs crossed, on a sheet-covered chair in the room Tango was last working in yesterday. The rest of the people he worked with were already there—various sounds of construction already filled this side of the house—but Tango hadn’t arrived yet. This was the room he would be in, he was sure of it. Even if it wasn’t, he had left one of his tools there yesterday, so he would surely return to pick it up, right?

“Jimmy? What are you doing here?”

Jimmy turned slightly to see Tango standing in the doorway, a confused look on his face. “Ah! Well, I’m just sitting here, I guess.” Jimmy cringed. He should’ve planned this out beforehand. 

“Well, I guess you are.” Tango’s eyes caught the hammer of his that was sitting on the table next to Jimmy and he stepped forward to grab it. “So that’s where I left you,” he muttered. 

“Yeah, I, uh, found it in here yesterday, just wanted to make sure you remembered.” Jimmy said. 

Tango smiled. “Well thank you, Jimmy.” He dropped the top into its place on his belt, then turned around to get back to work. 

“Hey,” Jimmy started. “Would you mind if I just sat here?”

“Not at all,” Tango replied, looking back at him over his shoulder. “Do you wanna talk or something while I work?”

“Oh, uh, yeah sure,” he stammered, mentally letting out an immense sigh of relief. 

“So what do you want to talk about?”

“Uh,” Jimmy said, his mind completely blank. “I dunno, whatever.”

“Alright, then,” Tango laughed. “We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to.”

“No!” Jimmy snapped his mouth shut, embarrassed by his sudden outburst. “We can talk. I just don’t know what to talk about.”

“How was your morning?” Tango asked. “We’ll start with that.”

And so began one of the best conversations Jimmy had ever had. It was pleasant and casual, while still being interesting enough for him to enjoy. Though, he doubted any conversation with Tango could be boring. They talked about nearly everything that came to mind for the next few hours, from favorite foods (Tango’s was pancakes) to their shared love of animals (Tango said that he had once fallen asleep on the ground next to his friend’s cat). Jimmy’s favorite part, though, was when he asked Tango what brought him to the carpentry business. 

“I like making things,” he had said. “I like tinkering, I like building, and I like being able to help other people with what I build.”

“Well you’re certainly helping me by doing this,” Jimmy said, long before he could think about his words. 

“Yeah?” Tango raised an eyebrow. 

Jimmy hesitated for a second. He wasn’t one to tell random people about his mistakes, especially not ones like these, but he guessed Tango wasn’t really random, was he? “It’s my fault that the fire started,” he admitted. The words flowed out of his mouth with surprising ease, like finally releasing a breath he’d been holding for too long. “And this was my favorite part of the house, so I’m glad it’ll be back soon. Thank you.” He had added on the last sentence in a bit of a rush, but it still managed to be one of the most genuine ‘thank yous’ he’d given in a long time. 

“I’m glad I could be of service,” Tango said, a smile on his face. 

Jimmy gave a small chuckle, the smile on his face matching Tango’s. 

A few seconds passed in silence, but it wasn’t awkward or uncomfortable for either of them. 

“Y’know, this isn’t unlike a date I once went on,” Tango said. 

“Yeah?” Jimmy replied, hoping the conversation was going in the direction he wanted it to go in. 

“These little conversations are kind of like mini dates if I’m honest,” he continued. 

Jimmy was about to respond when he was cut off by a voice calling from further inside the house. “James!”

Jimmy froze. “My parents.” He said quietly. 

Tango kept talking. “I could take you on a real date one of these days.”

The voice called again. “James!”

Tango locked eyes with him. “What do you say?”

Time seemed to freeze for Jimmy as he thought of what might happen. He couldn’t bear to throw this away—it was everything he could’ve ever wanted—but he was still faced with the looming consequences of what might happen if he did. He would get grounded, surely, maybe even disowned, but maybe he could be happy. 

Maybe he and Tango could be happy without the pressure of his family on his back. He could imagine the two of them together on a calm summer’s day without a care in the world and his heart was aching at just the thought of it. He would do anything to make that dream a reality—that is, until reality crashed back down onto him. He was scared. He had a good life that he was grateful for and he had no idea what could happen if he gave it up, regardless of the reason. However much he wanted to say yes to Tango, he almost didn’t think he was capable of it.

He weighed his options, both of them screaming at him to do the right thing. 

“James Solidarity!” His name, the one he hated, was ringing in his ears like a siren, warning—commanding—him to make the right choice.

“I can’t.” Jimmy said. “I can’t. I’m sorry.” 

Jimmy looked up into Tango’s eyes, that reddish-brown that he loved so much. They were filled with confusion and disappointment, but ultimately understanding, which he could never thank Tango enough for. 

“Ah. No problem.” Tango gave him a bit of a sad smile. “Sorry if I was coming on too hard or—“

“No, you’re fine, really,” Jimmy said. “I’m sorry.”

Tango nodded, a hint of confusion still on his face. 

Jimmy returned his nod, then stood and stalked out of the room, trying to keep his tears from falling onto the new hardwood floor as Tango called out to him. 

“Bye, Jimmy.”

He didn’t respond.

It had been almost a week since Jimmy had last talked to Tango. The repairs seemed almost done now, at least according to his judgment, and he would be lying if he said he was okay with it. 

He had spent that week wandering around the manor, no one else to really talk to. This wasn’t particularly unlike his normal behavior, but Jimmy still found him much more bored than usual.

It was because of Tango, he knew it. He might’ve seemed a bit too standoffish, which might’ve been a bit of a mistake that he was completely regretting. Gods, what if Tango hated him? He wouldn’t blame him. He panicked, that was all, surely he would understand. But there was no way he would and Jimmy knew it, however much he would rather not think about it. 

So, in order to try and avoid a public breakdown, Jimmy forced himself to avoid Tango, resisting the urge to walk over and strike up a conversation. 

That lasted for about a day. Since then, Jimmy had taken to being in his general area, usually just a room away from wherever Tango was working that day, by coincidence of course. 

He couldn’t tell if they were coincidences because of himself or his parents. 

Part of him wished he would just stop. It wasn’t worth it and it never would be. It would never work out. 

Every other part of him was barely resisting the urge to beat the previous into oblivion for even considering it. 

That was what kept him here. Even though every second felt like a risk, every spared glance into Tango’s eyes made him wish he wasn’t pathetically bare of courage and every time he caught a fleeting bit of conversation, he ached to be the one Tango was talking to. And every time he heard his laugh he nearly melted. 

Being here was such an incredible risk he couldn’t believe he stayed there—moved closer, even. It was a risk but Tango was worth it. 

“Jimmy, is that you?”

Jimmy spun around immediately at hearing Tango’s voice, right before thinking that maybe he should seem a bit less desperate. Too late. “Tango.” Jimmy said.

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out,” Tango responded, a hint of a crooked smirk on his face. Jimmy had to fight with himself to keep his face straight. “So, how are you doing on this fine day, Jimmy?”

“Fine, and yourself?” Jimmy was almost cringing at giving Tango his basic, automatic responses. They were meant for diplomats and extended family, not him. Still though, he couldn’t make himself say anything better.

“Doin’ good, doin’ good.” He leaned against the wall behind him and crossed his arms. “So, Jimmy, not gonna lie, I’ve seen you around quite a bit. Something going on?”

“No.” Jimmy shot back, his response much less lighthearted than Tango’s. “There’s nothing, what made you think so?”

He meant the question rhetorically, but Tango responded anyway. “Ah, well, I just figured you might have something to say to me considering how often we’ve seen each other.”

A split second of hesitation—barely anything but much too long for Jimmy’s taste. “No. This is my house, I can go wherever I please.”

Tango let out a laugh and Jimmy’s mind froze. It sounded warm and friendly and he was fighting to keep a smile down and it was ringing in his head so much that he almost didn’t hear Tango’s response. “Alright, Jimmy, whatever you say.” Tango shrugged. 

Mind void of any other possible responses, Jimmy gave him a curt nod, then spun around and stalked away from him, a whirl of emotions flooding through his heart and lungs, which would’ve been paralyzing if not for his tremendous need to get out of Tango’s general vicinity now, in fear of confessing his love on the spot.

He left the room, leaving Tango leaning against the wall with a faint smile.  

Jimmy’s heart was fluttering as he stood, silent, alone in a hallway. Unfortunately, it was fluttering in less of an ‘in love’ kind of way and more of a ‘close to a panic attack’ way. 

He could hear people talking in the hallway that intersected the one he was in, talking about things most likely related to the now finished repair job. Tango’s voice was among those speaking. 

What if this was a bad idea? He had been thinking about this moment since Tango had uttered the word ‘date,’ and yet he was still scared that it would go wrong. Not like he expected anything else, but it was still less than fun to be sitting here second-guessing himself.

The conversation around the corner stopped. Footsteps started in his direction. Jimmy pressed himself against the wall, not inhaling nearly enough air through his shallow breaths. His eyes were locked on the opening where the hallways crossed, waiting for one specific person to walk past…

A stroke of golden blond caught Jimmy’s eye. He lunged forward, arm out—

-

Something grabbed onto Tango’s wrist and pulled him back into a hallway, his arms pinwheeling to try and keep his balance. “Wh—hey!”

When his arm was finally released, Tango spun around, ready to find out who decided to randomly yank him into a hallway with no explanation, when he caught Jimmy’s eyes instead. 

They were an amazing shade of honey brown, sparkling in a stripe of sunlight let in through a window and wide open in a slightly panicked looking expression. “Jimmy?”

He opened his mouth as if he was about to respond, then shut it and grabbed Tango’s wrist again, pulling him into a nearby coat closet and shutting the door behind them.

“Jimmy?” Tango repeated. “What’s going on, what are you—”

“Tango. Look at me in the eyes.” Jimmy cut him off as he grabbed the other’s hands in his, holding them tightly. “Will you go out with me?”

A second passed in Tango’s stunned silence, leaving a blanket of uncomfortable tension over the two of them. Jimmy grabbing his hands had startled him, but he didn’t pull away. Instead, he took that precious second to soak in the question Jimmy had just asked, almost relieved that he did so. 

He didn’t get the chance to respond before Jimmy dropped his hands and stepped back, the red tinge of embarrassment blooming across his cheeks. “Forget I asked.”

“No, wait a second,” Tango protested, stepping towards Jimmy and closing the gap between them once again. “Yeah. That sounds great.”

Jimmy’s eyes widened. “Really?”

A smile broke out across Tango’s face. “Yeah, of course.”

“Okay!” 

“So where are we going?”

Jimmy froze. “Uhh…”

Tango could help but stifle a laugh as he realized Jimmy definitely hadn’t thought this all the way through. “I know of a little park close to here,” he suggested. 

Jimmy nodded, relief clear on his face. “Yeah, no problem. I think I know what you’re talking about—the one with that old barn, right?”

“Yep! You’ve been there before?” 

“I used to go with a friend of mine,” Jimmy explained. 

“I see. Well, are you free Friday?” 

“Uh, yeah, I think so.”

Tango gave a small nod. “See you there at, uh, 1?”

“I’ll bring some food or something,” Jimmy offered. 

“Excellent.” Tango smiled. “See you then.”

“Yep!” Jimmy smiled back. 

Tango stepped back, reaching for the doorknob to the closet, and let himself out, leaving the door open behind him. 

“Bye, Jimmy,” he called back. 

“Bye, Tango.” Jimmy responded. 

-

“Please,” Jimmy repeated. “C’mon, just this once.”

Bdubs stood with his arms crossed, looking at Jimmy with a skeptical squint. He was somehow able to keep a flat face as Bee, the horse he was currently tending to, butted her head up against his arm. “What is this for again?”

“I-“ Jimmy started to answer, but was cut off by Bdubs’ raised finger. 

“And you better tell me the actual truth, mister, or else I’m not helping.”

Jimmy deflated. “Fine. I’m going to meet this guy and I really need you to cover for me, alright?” He knew that this was a bit of a risk, but he couldn’t think of another way to get out of the house without raising suspicion, and Bdubs probably wouldn’t tell anyone. Besides, he was desperate. 

Bdubs cocked his head to the side. “You’re serious.”

“Yes, I am,” he insisted. “So can you cover for me? Pleeeeeease?” Jimmy tried to do his best puppy-dog eyes at Bdubs, which was a bit challenging since he was much taller, but he tried his best to pull it off.

“Goodness’ sakes,” Bdubs muttered. “Fine, I’ll do it.”

“Incredible, thank you very much, Bdubs, I owe you,” Jimmy replied, already hurrying out of the stables, a smile beaming across his face. 

“I want a raise!” he called after him. He doubted Jimmy had even heard him.

Jimmy started up the path towards the park he and Tango agreed to meet in, a small basket in one hand. He had asked the chef to make some pancakes for him, remembering Tango’s comment about them. He hoped Tango would like them. When he had said ‘pancakes’ as his answer to Jimmy’s question, he didn’t specify which kind, so he decided that it was best to have a variety. Naturally, part of him was afraid that it still wasn’t enough, that he wanted a specific flavor that he hadn’t even heard of from a bakery across the country, which he knew was ridiculous. He still brought four different flavors, though. Just in case. 

He had opted to walk the whole way to the park, rather than taking a horse in hopes of avoiding suspicion. He wasn’t sure if it had worked or not, but he hoped so. The walk was longer than he expected, to say the least, but he had already decided that it was worth it. His palms were getting a bit sweaty, though. His fist was clenched around the handle of his basket, almost as if he was holding it for comfort. 

The path was nestled between two small hills, in a valley of sorts. The park that he was heading to found its home in a small clearing between the two hills, transitioning into a field that stretched across the horizon, dotted with daisies and dandelions. Also on that horizon was the old barn the two of them had used to identify the area, its rustic and endearing charm making the scene seem more like a painting than real life. 

Jimmy stopped just where the clearing and the meadow met, something having caught his eye. It was a blanket laid out on the grass of the meadow, a light shade of somewhat desaturated yellow with a figure sitting on it—Tango. A smile flickered onto Jimmy’s face.

Once again, Jimmy was relieved upon seeing Tango there, even though it was nonsensical that Tango would’ve bailed, seeing as he was the one to offer a date in the first place, but that fact did absolutely nothing to help cure Jimmy’s self-doubt. 

Jimmy continued walking, still smiling. He reached up with his free hand and gave a wave to Tango across the grass, who caught his eye and waved back.

“Tango, hi,” Jimmy started. “The blanket was a good idea.”

“Thanks!” Tango smiled. “I figured I should contribute too, and since you said you were bringing food,” he gestured at the basket Jimmy was holding, “I thought—picnic!”

“Yeah,” Jimmy nodded, setting down the basket and sitting next to it, crossing his legs. 

Tango was staring off towards the horizon, looking a bit enthralled by their surroundings. “I forgot how pretty this place was. I haven’t been here in years.”

“Me too,” Jimmy added. 

The two of them settled into a comfortable silence as both of their eyes wandered across the scene they were immersed in, both of them taking occasional detours to look at the other instead.

Jimmy pulled the two out of quietness as he reached towards the basket he had brought. “I didn’t know which kind you like best so I brought a bunch,” he said, unpacking the basket. When he was finished, there were four stacks of three pancakes each, all of them set on plates that were probably too fancy to be on the ground; he didn’t care, though. His parents certainly wouldn’t notice them missing and Tango deserved better than ground pancakes. 

“We’ve got strawberry, blueberry, chocolate and plain,” he said, gesturing at each of the piles in turn. “Take your pick!”

Tango seemed almost speechless for a second. “Wow! This looks amazing, I—” he laughed, his smile growing across his face. “When you said you’d bring food, I didn’t expect this!”

A pang of something awful—regret, foolishness, embarrassment—struck deep into Jimmy’s heart. “Oh, I—is it too much?” He backpedaled. “I thought it was too much, I’m sorry, I—”

“Woah woah woah, wait, hold on, I never said that,” Tango protested. “It isn’t too much, it’s amazing. Saying sorry is quite literally the opposite of what you should be doing,” he joked.

“Oh!” A familiar red tinge found its way to Jimmy’s cheeks. “Well, thanks! I’m glad you like it.”

“I should be the one thanking you,” Tango said, looking up from the pancakes to lock eyes with Jimmy. 

Jimmy chuckled, letting out what felt like thousands of pounds of stress as he did so. “Right, well, dig in!”

Both of them had one of each of the pancakes so they were both able to try all of the flavors. Tango had insisted that he try them too, even though he had practically grown up on them. Jimmy was grateful that he did, though. They sent a rush of calming nostalgia through his body, only making him even more glad to be there with him.

Once the two of them had finished trying each of the flavors, it didn’t take long for the rest of the pancakes to disappear. 

“That really was great,” Tango said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

“That’s good,” Jimmy replied, stacking the now empty plates back into the basket. When he was done, he closed the basket’s lid and joined Tango in calm silence. 

The sun was slowly creeping its way across the sky as time passed, the two of them in casual conversation. Tango had been right—it did seem like the conversations they had already been having; this one was just a bit fancier. And like their other conversations, Jimmy found himself enthralled by even the most mundane of topics. 

Their date really wasn’t much, but Jimmy wouldn’t describe it as anything other than amazing. 

“Y’know, I don’t think I’ve actually ever been into that barn,” Tango started.

“Really?” 

“Wanna go check it out?” 

Tango’s reply caught Jimmy off-guard—it wasn’t too often that people offered to explore abandoned barns with him—but his reply was instant. “Sure.”

The two of them made their way through the meadow, carving an ever-so-slightly winding path through the knee-high grass. Chirping crickets and singing birds accompanied them on their walk, adding a bit of background music to their conversation. The sun’s rays shone down on them, beaming light and heat across their skin. Before the warmth could get uncomfortable, though, the breeze swept it away, keeping the pair of them cool as they drew closer to the barn before finally reaching it.

It was fairly large, covered in light brown paint that was chipping off in flakes. There were a few small holes in the wooden planks that made up its walls and ceiling, but otherwise the building seemed to be fairly intact, although a bit overgrown.

Tango pulled on one of its hefty doors, using what looked like a considerable amount of effort to drag it through the unkempt grass blocking the entrance. Eventually, though, he was able to wrench it open. He stood next to the door, gesturing into the barn with one hand. “After you.”

“How considerate,” Jimmy joked before making his way into the barn. 

The inside of the building was about the same level of deserted as the outside—holes and chipping paint, now accompanied by scattered piles of hay and grass. 

Almost immediately, a sound caught Jimmy’s ear. It was high-pitched and a bit quiet, but he could tell what it was: a meow. 

“Did you hear that?” He asked Tango, who had just entered the barn behind him. 

“What?”

“It was like a cat,” he started, before he heard the sound again. “There!”

The two of them followed the sound to a small pile of hay in one of the corners. Tango pushed the pile aside to reveal a small kitten, curled up into itself. Its’ fur was mostly black, with patches of a creamy white on its arms and stomach, and all of it was slightly matted.

Jimmy let out a small gasp, eyes locked on the animal. “We have to help it.”

“Yes.” Tango agreed. He cleared more of the surrounding hay, craving out more of a clearing for the kitten. 

“We can be like ranchers,” Jimmy said. “This is a ranch, and if we’re taking care of something, we’re ranchers.”

“Y’know, you’re not wrong,” Tango shrugged.

Jimmy turned to him. “What should we name him?”

Tango thought for a second. “Pancakes?”

“No, that’s bad.” Jimmy waved him off, ignoring Tango’s vague sounds of offendedness. “What about Remington?”

“What?”

He continued, still paying no mind to Tango’s comments. “But he’s a rancher too, so we should call him Rancher Remington.”

“Double R,” Tango immediately suggested. 

“Perfect.”

The two of them still had their eyes locked on Double R, twin smiles on their faces. 

“We should probably meet back here in a couple days to check on Double R,” Jimmy said. 

“Mhm, and this totally isn’t just you asking me out,” Tango smirked. 

“Yep.” Jimmy tried to ignore the fact that he was blushing again. 

A few seconds passed before Tango looked up at Jimmy. “I have no idea how to take care of a cat.”

“We will figure it out together,” Jimmy promised. He held his hand out towards Tango, as if offering a handshake. 

Tango took his hand, smiling, then flipped it over and pressed a kiss onto his knuckle. 

Jimmy smiled. 

-

Tango leaned on the doorway to the room Etho was in, arms crossed. “Hey, do you still have your cat’s old bed?”

Etho frowned, looking up from his book. “Probably. Why?”

“Can I have it?”

“If I can find it,” Etho said, standing up and setting his book on the table, still open with the pages down. 

Tango stayed leaning against the doorway as Etho walked past him and out of the room, presumably looking for the bed. He heard the sounds of Etho rummaging through old things before he returned, cat bed in hand. 

“Here ya go,” He held it out to Tango, who took it. Then he sat back down and picked up his book. “Can I ask what it’s for?” “Well, I met this guy at the old park we used to go to yesterday and we found a cat in the barn, which we have decided to take care of.”

“Ah.” Etho nodded. “So how’s he?”

Tango looked off in thought, remembering the events of the previous day. “He’s nice. And really caring.” 

“So you like him?”

“Well yeah, if I didn’t then I wouldn’t be doing this, would I?”

Etho shrugged. “You owe me for that, by the way.”

Tango waved him off. “Yeah, yeah.” He walked over to the exit of Etho’s apartment, throwing a quick, “Bye,” to Etho before leaving.

Tango pushed the door to the barn open and was immediately surprised to see flickering light coming from the inside.

Jimmy looked up at him, his face instantly lighting up. “Tango! I didn’t expect to see you so soon.”

“Me neither,” Tango admitted. “What’re you doing here?”

He held up a small chunk of some kind of meat. “I thought I’d bring some food for Double R. You?”

Tango gestured to the bed slightly. “This was my friend’s, he said I could have it for Double R.”

“Oh, perfect,” Jimmy smiled. “Well come over here, then.”

Tango complied, setting the bed down next to Jimmy before sitting down himself. He watched as Jimmy tore small pieces of meat off the chunk he was holding and offered them to Double R, who usually ripped them out of Jimmy’s hand before turning around to nibble at it. // A faint smile found its way onto Tango’s face.

Jimmy fed the last shred of meat to Double R, who immediately started pawing at Jimmy’s knee upon finishing it. Jimmy reached down and picked him up in response, cradling the kitten in his arms. 

Tango almost melted at the sight, dying of cuteness overload between the two of them. He let out a quiet “Aww,” which Jimmy smiled at. 

Soon enough, he fell asleep in Jimmy’s arms. Very carefully, Jimmy set him back down so he could really rest on a surface that wasn’t mildly afraid of dropping him. 

“You’re very graceful,” Tango commented.

“Yeah, I’ve been taking dance lessons forever,” he shrugged. 

“Can you teach me?” Tango blurted out. Part of him regretted the sentence the moment it left his mouth, but by then it was too late, so he continued. “I’m pretty bad,” he laughed.

Jimmy stood, reaching a hand out to Tango. “I’m sure you’re not that bad,” he reassured him.

“You haven’t seen me dance yet,” Tango countered, standing up and taking Jimmy’s hand.

“I suppose you’re right.” Jimmy held both of their hands out to the side, placing his other hand right where Tango’s ribcage ended. “I’ll lead, then.”

Tango nodded before realizing that he was still awkwardly holding his free hand up in the air, unsure of where to put it. He froze, a bit of fear in his eyes, and looked at Jimmy, who thankfully got the message. He reached up and moved Tango’s hand to his shoulder, keeping their shared look intact. 

Tango gave Jimmy a nervous smile, and Jimmy returned it with a smile full of happiness and patience. 

“You ready?” Jimmy asked.

“Who knows?” Tango shrugged, his smile beaming.

Jimmy nodded. “We’ll go slowly.” He stepped back, giving Tango enough time to follow him before taking another step. Then he turned to the side, then moved towards Tango, each step leading the pair of them gradually around the room. 

As they danced, Tango started to move less sharply, flowing with Jimmy’s movements instead of simply following. He was understanding the intricacies of their dance now, recognizing patterns in the lines they traced across the floor.

Jimmy smirked. “I’m gonna spin you.”

“Wait, what?”

Jimmy lifted his hand from Tango’s waist and held both of their hands up high, starting to rotate Tango’s wrist. Tango spun once, twice, stumbling slightly until Jimmy caught him in a dip.

The pair of them froze. Jimmy’s face was about a foot directly over Tango’s as he held him above the floor, his arms wrapped around him. A pinkish red bloomed across Jimmy’s cheeks just as the same shade completely covered Tango’s face.

“That was a close one,” Jimmy gave a small, sheepish laugh.

Tango, still being held up by Jimmy, also laughed, but it seemed like a release of stress more than anything else. “That was great,” he said, mind slightly stuck on just how much of an understatement the sentence was. 

Jimmy smiled, pulling Tango back up to standing. “We can keep going, if you’d like,” he offered.

Tango put his hand back on Jimmy’s shoulder. “Yeah, I think I’d like that.”

Jimmy chuckled, resuming their dance where they had left off. He moved slightly faster now, adapting to Tango’s newfound comfort while dancing. Tango adapted to the new pace, his feet moving faster to match Jimmy’s. He was still taking occasional glances at the floor to double-check his footing, but he was looking into Jimmy’s eyes much more, which Jimmy couldn’t say that he disliked.

As their speed increased, the dance became more elegant. Tango supposed that the speed helped him find his balance, which was pure speculation on his part but he would rather put more focus into moving his feet the right way and staring into Jimmy’s eyes than actually figuring it out. So, he pushed himself to keep going, to keep up with Jimmy, almost feeling like he would let himself down if he didn’t. His heart was somehow pounding and fluttering at the same time, driven by a mixture of happiness and physical activity; although he was pretty sure the former was more responsible than not.

At this point, he and Jimmy were staring into each other’s eyes constantly as they danced, both of their faces split by a smile.

Then Tango’s foot caught on something. He stumbled into Jimmy, falling and taking both of them down onto the ground. Tango almost thought he heard something like paper ripping as they fell.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tango started, already apologizing before even picking himself up off the ground.

Jimmy waved him off, brushing dust off his arms. “Don’t worry about it,” he chuckled. “I fell all the time when I first started.”

“There’s no way,” Tango disagreed. “You’re so amazing at—” 

Then he noticed it. There was a rip in Jimmy’s jacket, starting at the bottom hem and running at least three inches up into the fabric. It was like a ravine carved into the silky blue fabric, slicing through the delicate embroidery on the edges and leaving the edges jagged and slightly frayed.

“Oh god.”

Jimmy’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “What? What happened?” “There’s a rip in your jacket,” Tango responded, the sound of horror evident in his voice.

Jimmy looked down, following Tango’s panicked stare to find the aforementioned rip, seeming significantly less upset than Tango. “Oh, that’s—”

“I’m so sorry!” Tango repeated himself, unsure of what else to say. “It’s completely my fault, I messed up.” His hands were held out towards Jimmy, as if he was trying to surrender to the fabric itself, or like he was warming his hands with the heat from the fire that Jimmy’s jacket might as well have been on, considering Tango’s reaction to it.

“No, really, it’s fine,” Jimmy reassured him, to no avail. 

“No, it’s not.” Tango’s face was racked with guilt. “Oh, I don’t know how to make it up to you, I am so sorry.”

“Tango.” Jimmy locked eyes with him. “Honestly, this is the most fun I’ve had in a while. I’m having a great time, and I promise that it really doesn’t matter if my jacket is ripped. Alright?” He hesitated, unsure of how to respond.

Jimmy offered his hand once again. “How about we finish our dance?”

A full three seconds of breaths that were much too fast and too shallow to be adequate passed before Tango finally put his hand in Jimmy’s. He almost didn’t let his hand fall into Jimmy’s at all.

They both resumed their previous positions, Tango much more reluctantly than Jimmy, who was giving him a small, reassuring smile.

They moved slower this time, to say the least. Tango thought that it was almost too fast, as he was doing literally everything in his power to keep himself upright this time. Tango kept his eyes on the ground and Jimmy kept his eyes on Tango, still gently leading the two.

Slowly and eventually, Tango’s horror at the situation faded enough for him to actually look up at Jimmy. He was immediately met with a warm familiar smile that would’ve hurt him not to return. Tango forced himself to give Jimmy a small, meek grin in response, fighting the urge to grimace instead. 

His mind kept drifting back to the sound of the gorgeous fabric tearing, although it sounded more like a gunshot after echoing in his head for so long. It was starting to become almost painful—whether physically or mentally he couldn’t tell—so instead he forced himself to focus on the freckles scattered across Jimmy’s nose, the softness of his hand, the slight upward curl of his eyelashes, the neat stitching on his shirt collar, the shininess of his hair, the rip in his jacket, the rip in his jacket, the rip in his jacket—  

And his eyes. His honey-sweet, warm ray of sunshine, deep, complex, full of compassion and understanding and love, perfect golden brown eyes. 

Was he telling the truth? Did it really not matter to him?

After one final step, Jimmy stopped. Tango stopped abruptly a second after. 

Jimmy smiled. “So how did you like your first dance lesson?”

“It was good,” Tango answered, still mildly petrified. “I, uh, have to go, though.”

“Oh, alright. I’m glad you thought it was good,” Jimmy gave a small chuckle. “Right, so meet back here in a few days? Is that okay?”

Tango nodded. “Yeah.”

“Great, see you then!” His smile was still shining.

“I’m so sorry.” Tango’s voice was at a half-whisper.

“That’s really not necessary,” Jimmy insisted. “Thank you for the dance, Tango.”

He just nodded in response.

Tango barged through Etho’s door, a mixture of panic and fear in his eyes. “Etho I messed up.”

Etho, who had previously been taking a nap on his couch, didn’t bother to open his eyes before responding. “What did you do?”

“So there might’ve been some dancing—I asked him to teach me—and then I might’ve tripped and ripped his probably super expensive jacket,” Tango rambled, starting to pace back and forth. 

“Well-”

“And he was so nice about it too, he was insisting that it was okay, and smiling, and just being really cool like he didn’t care at all and I feel so bad,” 

“Tango.”

“He hates me. He totally hates me. I messed up so bad,” Tango groaned. 

“He probably doesn’t,” Etho countered. 

Tango just grumbled in response. 

“Chill out. Literally everything you’ve told me about this guy makes me think that he actually didn’t care, okay?”

“Well you’re wrong,” Tango said stubbornly. 

“Isn’t there that little part of you that doubts yourself, though?”

Tango frowned. 

“Usually I wouldn’t say this, but listen to that part because right now, it’s right.”

“Are you sure about that?”

Etho raised an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure. You know that he’s a good person, right?”

Tango mumbled something along the lines of a ‘yes.’ 

“And he’s been relatively honest so far?”

“Yeah.”

“So would it make sense for him to repeatedly tell you something that he didn’t believe was true?”

Tango sighed. “No.”

“So does he actually care?”

“Probably not,” Tango conceded. 

“Great,” Etho said. “So when are you meeting next?”

“A couple days.”

“Fantastic. Have fun, tell him I say hi.” Then he turned onto his side and resumed his nap, leaving Tango to show himself out. 

-

“Y’know I can’t cover for you forever,” Bdubs said. 

Jimmy turned his head slightly towards him, still half absorbed in his thoughts. “What?”

“This thing you have with Mr. what’s-his-name—”

“Tango.”

“Goodness’ sakes,” he muttered. “You know that they’re gonna start asking questions eventually, right?”

Jimmy waved him off. “Yeah, yeah, but that’s not happening yet, is it?” He met Bdubs’ eyes and his expression softened a bit. “Just—keep doing what you’re doing, okay? I know it's kind of a lot to ask, but they don’t know anything and I’m going to take advantage of that as long as I can. Thank you.”

Bdubs sighed. “You’re welcome. And for the record, I hope this goes well for you.”

Jimmy smiled. “Thanks.”

The sun was setting, painting the sky around Jimmy and Tango in a sea of colors, from pale pink to sunflower yellow. The two of them were sitting on Tango’s picnic blanket, watching the sun disappear behind the hills. 

Between them, Double R was playing in the grass, pouncing on innocent flowers. Tango had shifted his eyes from the sunset to the kitten, a smile appearing on his face. 

Jimmy, however, had moved to look at Tango. The warm rays of the setting sun had cast him in a gorgeous shade of golden light that made something in Jimmy’s mind dissolve. And the way he was looking at Double R—he was so kind and compassionate and caring, compared to Jimmy, who was cheating his way into being here. 

“Why do you like me?” Jimmy asked.

The sudden question seemed to startle Tango a bit, but he responded instantly. “Because you’re you.”

That caught Jimmy off-guard. “What?”

“You’re you,” Tango repeated. “You always know the right thing to say or do, you’re so kind, you never cease to be amazing—I could go on. The point is, you’re perfect. How could I not like you?” 

Jimmy broke out into a smile. He didn’t doubt for a second that he was telling the truth.

Tango pushed the door to the barn open, his eyes already scanning for Jimmy—he somehow always managed to get there first, no matter how hard Tango tried—but it seemed that Tango had beaten him there. Before he got to celebrate his victory, though, he noticed a small piece of paper stuck to the back of the door. He stepped closer to read what he realized was a note and immediately recognized Jimmy’s handwriting. 

Tango,

I can’t make it today. I’m sorry. I think my parents are starting to realize that I’m sneaking out and they’re making me sit in on this conference or something. Sorry.

I had a friend’s friend drop this note off, and he’s kind of a mail carrier for the area, so if you leave a note here he can get it to me.

I want to see you again soon.

Your fellow Rancher,

Jimmy

Tango frowned. Jimmy was starting to talk about his parents more as of recent, and it was starting to worry him. He knew Jimmy wasn’t lying about this, which made the whole thing 100 times worse. 

Unable to do anything else about his concern, he took the note off the door, folded it and put it in his pocket.

Jimmy’s mouth was pursed as he walked through the lobby of the Town Hall. The jacket he had on was hardly comfortable and the wig his mother made him wear was itchy on the back of his neck and it was so hot inside—Jimmy didn’t think he could hate anything more. He’d much rather be outside in the open meadow, running through the grass or laying amongst the flowers with Tango and Double R. However, to Jimmy’s dismay, he was here.

“James, there you are.” His father stepped out from one of the Hall’s rooms, gesturing for him to come closer with an unpleasant look of urgency on his face. “Where have you been? You’re late.” 

“Sorry.” He mumbled, not expecting his words to be acknowledged at all.

“You know, whatever it is you’re getting up to, it is not worth your time, I’m sure of it. You seem to have no idea of what is important anymore, much less a sense of punctuality. His father huffed.

Jimmy’s face stayed flat. It was almost sad to him—they were so incredibly wrong and didn’t even know it.

Tango sat down next to Etho, two cups of water in his hands. He set one in front of Etho, then leaned back in his chair and sipped from his own glass. 

The company the two of them worked for had moved onto another project after completing their work on the Solidarity’s Manor. The new job had kept him fairly busy as of late, which made it hard for him to find time to take care of Double R and see Jimmy. It was unfortunate, but he suspected Jimmy was currently having a worse time than he was.

As if reading his mind, Etho turned to him and asked a question. “So how are you and Jimmy doing?”

“We’re doing great,” Tango responded, a gleam of happiness shining through his voice. “He has been a bit busy recently so I haven’t really seen him, which sucks. Double R is doing great too, if you were wondering.”

Etho tilted his head to the side. “And you aren’t worried that he’s … not interested?”

“What?” “Well, you said that he got busy all of a sudden, so aren’t you worried that he’s just saying that so he doesn’t have to see you?”

“No,” Tango said with absolute certainty.

Etho looked skeptical. “You sure?” 

“Yep.”

“I can’t believe you called this ‘just a piece of wood with some letters’—this is amazing!” Jimmy said, looking up at the Red Velvet Bakery’s sign, the one Tango had made.

“It really isn’t,” Tango protested.

“Shhh,” Jimmy cut him off. “You’re wrong.”

The pair of them stayed standing in front of the shop for a solid two minutes, to the confusion of everyone around them, as Jimmy admired Tango’s work and Tango denied his skill and also failed to convince Jimmy to actually go inside.

The sign was stained a warm, reddish brown, with elegant, neat script carved into it. There were small bunches of flowers and leaves carved into each of the corners, along with a border that framed the writing nicely.

Jimmy turned to look at Tango. “You really are incredible, you know that?” A slight red tinge covered Tango’s face. “Shut up.”

Jimmy sat next to Tango, both of their backs against a tree on the edge of the clearing. There were small piles of wildflowers in each of their laps, freshly picked from the meadow. In Jimmy’s hands was a flower crown, woven from the daisies and dandelions the two of them had picked, and in Tango’s hands was a much less successful attempt at the same process. 

“I still don’t get how you can be so good at that,” Tango said, calmly watching Jimmy’s hands work to incorporate another flower. 

“A lot of practice,” Jimmy shrugged. “I used to make these all the time when I was younger.”

“Ah. Well yours does look a whole lot better than mine,” Tango admitted, looking at his own, slightly flimsy crown before placing it on his head with a sheepish grin. 

Jimmy looked up. “Well, it isn’t too bad,” he offered, which made Tango laugh. He finished attaching the final flower and held up the crown to inspect it, before reaching up to take Tango’s crown off his head and replace it with the one he made, putting Tango’s crown on his own head. 

“What?” Tango gave a small laugh, reaching up to touch his new flower crown while keeping his eyes on Jimmy. “C’mon, mine isn’t nearly perfect enough for you—-“

“Yes it is,” Jimmy smiled. “You made it.”

A wave of red washed over Tango’s face before he quickly regained his composure. “Well I guess you don’t need it to look amazing, do you?”

A matching red blush covered Jimmy’s cheeks. 

Tango was walking along the side of the road, in the direction of where he remembered the Solidarity Manor to be. Another one of Jimmy’s notes was in his pocket, where he put it after finding it on the back of the barn door like usual. Jimmy was busy again, to both of their dismay, and couldn’t meet him at the barn. So, he decided that if Jimmy couldn’t come to him, he would go to Jimmy. 

It took far too many minutes of hiding behind bushes and sneaking across swaths of grass before finally spotting Jimmy. He was alone, standing on one of the many balconies attached to the Manor, leaning against the railing. He had told Tango that it was where he spent most of his time these days, which made it a lot easier for Tango to find him, thankfully. 

Tango quickly snuck across one final patch of empty grass before reaching Jimmy’s window. 

“Jimmy!” Tango whisper-shouted, trying to be as loud as he could without alerting anyone else. “Jimmy!”

After a couple more iterations with Tango getting consistently louder, Jimmy finally looked down. “Tango?”

“Jimmy!” A smile was beaming across Tango’s face. 

Jimmy’s expression was filled with recognition and relief. “Tango. Goodness, it is good to see you.” He paused. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, since you couldn’t get to the Ranch, I thought I would come to you,” Tango explained. 

Jimmy looked almost stunned. “I—thank you.”

“So how are you holding up?” Tango asked. 

“Not great,” Jimmy admitted, his eyes flitting around their surroundings. 

Tango exhaled, frowning. He started to speak but was cut off by Jimmy, who seemed to be getting more jittery by the minute. “Did anyone see you?”

Tango was a bit taken aback, but answered Jimmy’s question. “No—well, I don’t think so,”

Jimmy nodded, but the concern on his face was still very much present. 

“Are you okay?” Tango asked. 

Jimmy exhaled sharper than Tango was expecting. “Yeah, I’m fine, just a bit stressed—Tango, you really can’t be here. I really really appreciate you for coming to visit me, but you cannot be here.” His expression looked pained, but his face was set.

“Oh! I, uh, I’m sorry, I didn’t—” The red tinge of blush covered Tango’s face, heat stinging his skin.

“No, no, no, really it’s not your fault,” Jimmy promised, waving his hands frantically. “I’m really sorry.”

Tango paused, letting silence fall over the two of them. For a second, Etho’s words from before rang in his head. Tango guessed that Etho would’ve been suspicious of the situation, thinking that Jimmy was hiding something from him, but the pain in Jimmy’s eyes was some of the most genuine he had ever seen, completely dispelling any concerns Tango could ever have. Instead, he was overcome with worry for Jimmy. There was no way this situation was good for him. He had said that he was stressed, and Tango wouldn’t have been surprised if that was an understatement. 

“It’s okay,” Tango said. “I’ll tell Double R you say hi.” He smiled.

Relief flooded across Jimmy’s face, seemingly washing away the tenseness his shoulders once held. Tango just barely caught the bitter aftertaste of melancholy heartache in his eyes.

“Thank you.” Jimmy said. 

Tango nodded. They two of them held each other’s eyes for a second more before Tango turned and Jimmy watched him walk away. 

Tango’s pocket was full of notes from the past few days, all found in the same spot on the back of the barn door and all signed with the same name: Jimmy. 

They were all along the same lines, but somehow each one of them felt different.

Tango,

I’m sorry, I can’t make it again. I don’t even know what they want me to do this time—something about a celebration dinner? I’m really sorry. 

Your Rancher,

Jimmy

Then from two days after that:

Dear Tango,

I’m so sorry. I really don’t know when I’ll be back. How is Double R doing? I really want to see him again. 

Yours,

Jimmy

The next one came four days after. 

My fellow Rancher,

I am so, so sorry. I’m so busy all the time, I barely have time to write these. 

I miss you.

Jimmy

It had been about a week since he’d gotten that note. Since then, Tango had spent most of his waking moments in that barn, almost praying that another note—or better yet, Jimmy himself—would show up, to no avail. His company’s most recent job had finished early, leaving him with more than enough time to take care of Double R. Still though, he was left feeling empty from Jimmy’s absence.

-

“He probably hates me.” Jimmy dropped his head into his hands, his knees curled up to his stomach. 

“I doubt it,” Bdubs muttered. 

“C’mon,” Jimmy whined. “Quit lying. How could he not?”

“He literally snuck into the Manor to visit you,” Bdubs reminded him. 

“And then I told him to leave.” He shot back. “It’s like I haven’t even been making an effort to see him lately. He hates me.”

Bdubs turned and grabbed Jimmy by the shoulders, shaking him a bit before staring into his eyes. “He does not hate you.”

“But are you sure?”

-

“I’m sure of it.” Tango was laying, draped across one of Etho’s chairs as Etho stared at him, slightly judgmentally. 

“Yeah but are you?” Etho countered.

“It’s like literally the only explanation,” Tango said. “I did something and now he hates me.”

“I wouldn’t be so sure of that.”

-

Tango shut the barn door behind him, sparing only the slightest of glances at the back of it. He had to do a double-take to make sure the piece of paper he saw was actually there. 

He tore it off the door and unfolded it as quickly as he could without ripping it, his eyes scanning across the words at an impressive speed. 

Tango,

I am quite literally beaming as I write this. I finally have a day to myself and I could not dream of doing anything other than seeing you and Double R again. I would love to meet you at the barn on Saturday, if that’s alright with you. 

I’m so sorry it’s taken this long, but I greatly look forward to your response. Thank you for being patient with me. 

Your Rancher,

Jimmy

Tango nearly collapsed with joy. He was smiling ear-to-ear, clutching the piece of paper like it was the only thing keeping him alive. 

He was finally going to see Jimmy again. 

-

“This is for you,” Bdubs said, handing Jimmy a folded piece of paper. 

The slight knowing look in Bdubs’ eyes let Jimmy know exactly who it was from, even though he had already guessed. The anticipation filled his stomach with waves, until he finally unfolded the note. 

There was only one word written on the paper, big enough to take up almost all of the available space. 

YES

Joy and relief filled his body as he thanked almost everything he could think of, regardless of their involvement. 

He was finally going to see Tango again. 

Jimmy ended up speed walking to the barn, doing his best to ignore the slight cramps that were starting to form in his sides. He was clutching onto the same small basket he had brought the first time the two of them met here, gripping onto the handle so hard his fingers were starting to go white. He requested pancakes again, although this selection of flavors was different, except for the strawberry ones, which Tango had deemed as his favorite. 

The hint of a smile was hiding just barely below the surface of Jimmy’s expression, held in place by just the slightest bit of doubt. He felt as though he was so incredibly close to the moment he had been chasing for so long, but there was still something telling him that it would never happen. Maybe Tango would suddenly bail on him, maybe his parents would whisk him away to attend some meaningless dinner, maybe he would get struck by lightning. Whatever. 

Tango’s note was still in his pocket. Jimmy had refolded it exactly on the original creases, careful not to damage the paper in any way. He had put it in his breast pocket, right on top of where his heart was. It felt safer there. 

Gosh, he was excited. That was the best word he could think of to describe what he was feeling, but quite honestly, it was nowhere close. There were a million other feelings in his heart that he couldn’t hope of describing, so ‘excited’ would have to do, he supposed. Besides, why bother to waste time on finding the right words when he could concentrate on walking faster?

-

Tango clutched his hands together, tight. He had resorted to pacing in circles, paving a small path in the grass. There was a seemingly permanent and very nervous smile plastered on his face as he walked, occasionally glancing at the point where the path met the horizon, intent on spotting Jimmy the very second that he would see Tango. 

He let his grip relax for a second, just so he could smooth back his hair and straighten his jacket—that he had spent fifteen minutes picking out—for the fourth time in about ten minutes, forcing himself to take a deep breath.

You could say that he was a bit nervous.

Tango looked back to the horizon, just in time to see a figure appear. 

-

The second Jimmy spotted a figure standing on one of the hills, he had to fight the urge to break out into a sprint. What he couldn’t stop, though, was the gleaming smile plastered across his face.  

Jimmy pushed himself even harder, walking as fast as he could without running towards Tango. After a few seconds, though, he decided that wasn’t nearly fast enough. So, he ran, his arms and legs pumping, pushing himself through the air and across the ground and even closer to Tango. 

By the time he was just ten feet away, he had forgotten the need to hold onto the basket, completely letting go of the handle and letting it drop onto the grass, fancy plates be damned. By the time he was five feet from Tango, he was ready to jump into Tango’s open arms, whether he was ready for it or not. 

Jimmy launched himself into the air and Tango caught him, the force of the impact sending both of them to the grass. There was a chance that he wasn’t quite ready.

Both of them were already laughing, smiling, so completely focused on the other that the fact that both of them were on the ground might as well have been irrelevant. Forget ‘might as well have been’—it was irrelevant. Who cared if they were getting a bit dirty, they were finally in each other’s arms again. If anyone did care, it certainly was not the two of them.

Tango wrapped his arms around Jimmy in a proper hug, rather than being all jumbled up. Jimmy followed suit, putting the two of them in a tight, warm embrace, where they stayed for longer than was worth counting.

Tango whispered into Jimmy’s ear. “I think I’m in love with you.”

Jimmy whispered back. “I think I am too.”

Tango hugged him back harder.

Eventually, the two of them let go. Jimmy retrieved his basket and the two of them snacked on the pancakes he brought as the sun crawled across the sky above them. They got lost in conversation like they always did, bodies still half-intertwined under the shade of a tree. Jimmy leaned his head on Tango’s shoulder and Tango put his head on top of Jimmy’s as they laced their hands together. The sun dipped below the horizon, painting the sky with shades of orange and yellow that mixed with the deep blue of the sky above it. The stars were starting to twinkle, shining down on them as night slowly overtook the day. Jimmy’s eyes fluttered, eyelids seeming to get gradually heavier as the moon rose. Jimmy was curled up next to Tango, sharing body heat with him—although it was more the case of stealing his body heat for Jimmy. 

Finally, the last strokes of yellow across the sky vanished, leaving the moon to claim the sky for the night.

Jimmy blinked, slowly, then closed his eyes.

Jimmy squeezed his already-closed eyes even further shut, trying to block out the sunlight that was now covering them. He didn’t usually have the sun in his eyes when he woke up.

He jolted awake, equal parts delighted and horrified at the scene he saw. He was still next to Tango, laying in the grass in the same spot he had apparently fallen asleep in before. His heart dropped into what very well could’ve been ice water for how it completely froze. 

He pushed himself up and grabbed Tango’s hand, clutching it a bit too hard—hard enough to make Tango wake up.

He grumbled something Jimmy couldn’t really understand about being up so early, his eyes still closed. Jimmy shook his hand, still too hard. Tango groaned, “What’s goin on?”

“Tango, I have to go.” Jimmy spoke in a low, rushed voice. 

“Wha?”

“Tango—” He shook him again, with both hands this time. “Please wake up.”

He opened his eyes, blinking a few times before locking eyes with Jimmy. “Hey, are you okay?” Jimmy shook his head. “I have to go.”

Tango’s eyebrows furrowed as he pushed himself up to a sitting position. “Why? What’s going on?”

He took a single short breath; he felt as if he would start to hyperventilate if he tried to breathe more. “I have to go home. I shouldn’t have stayed here too long, they’re gonna catch on and I’m gonna get grounded and I’m not gonna be able to see you—” Jimmy cut himself off with another breath, completely failing in his efforts to not hyperventilate.

Tango put his hands on Jimmy’s shoulders and pulled him into a hug, pressing their bodies together. “It’s okay. It’s gonna be okay.”

“I’m so sorry,” Jimmy whispered, tucking his chin behind Tango’s shoulder. His eyes were wide, filled with mortification and tears.

“It’s okay. Pinky promise.” Tango withdrew just enough to hold his pinky out to Jimmy, who matched his gesture, the two of them intertwining their fingers tightly. 

After a few seconds, Jimmy slowly stepped back, pulling Tango’s hand with him before letting go. He took another step back. “Thank you.”

Tango nodded, a solemn smile on his face.

Jimmy turned and started walking away from him, squinting into the rays of the rising sun as a tear dropped from his eye.

Jimmy was walking at a pace he would consider quick, but his movements were reluctant at best. He was half-hoping that if he waited long enough, they might forget about him. His lungs seemed to be frozen in a state of full exhale. He was starting to get dizzy. 

The walk seemed significantly shorter than when he had walked it yesterday. Much sooner than he was prepared for, Jimmy came face-to-face with the wrought iron of the gate that blocked the pathway, grimly staring at his family crest. Usually, he would’ve gone in through a staff entrance on the side of the house, but he didn’t see any point to it today. His entrance would be noticed whether he liked it or not. 

He retrieved a key from his pocket and inserted it into the lock on the gate, letting himself in. His mother had insisted that he have one in the case of emergencies, although his father 

 much rather wanted to give it to one of his business partners in a show of hospitality. Jimmy had been sitting outside on the patio, watching the stars as the two of them argued over it. Like usual, they had come up with a compromise by the next morning—and like usual, the compromise was something neither would have agreed to mere hours prior. They agreed that Father’s partner was to have the key they had at the moment, and they would commission a locksmith to make a copy for him. He didn’t know why he still kept it. 

He started his trek up the long pathway toward the front door of his house. As he got closer, he could tell that the door was slightly ajar. His heart froze again. 

Every step seemed like a true test of his spirit, and every step made him just that much closer to breaking down entirely. Although, he figured that the coming ordeal would probably be much worse for him if he was on the ground sobbing. So, when he finally reached the door, he stood tall, looking straight forward. His eyes and cheeks were almost dry. He clenched his fists, trying to remember Tango’s ever-fleeting warmth, and raised his fist. 

Before he could bring himself to knock, the door swung in. Mother and Father were both standing in front of him. Neither looked a speck out of place. He looked down almost immediately. 

“James. Where have you been?” Mother demanded. 

“I was outside—-“

Father raised his eyebrow. “Likely story.”

“It was an accident, I promise, I didn’t mean to fall asleep. My deepest apologies.”

Mother gave a dissatisfied frown. “And why have you suddenly been gone so often?”

“I just prefer to be outside, I—“

“First the patio, now this?” Father’s tone was stern. “Get a hold of yourself, young man. I won’t tell you again.”

“Yes, Father.”

“And you’re filthy!” Mother gasped. “What has gotten into you?”

“Apologies, Mother.”

“You are not to leave this house, you are not to send or receive any letters and you are certainly not to go outside, do you understand?”

“Yes, sir.”

“And since you’ve put us through so much trouble, you can make it up to your mother and I by attending our Summer Ball, without complaint.”

“Yes, sir.”

“And since you won’t be needing it anymore,” he held out his hand, “Your key.”

“Yes, sir.” The object in question was pressed into his hand without hesitation. 

“Now, up to your room. We’ll be expecting you for dinner, no sooner.”

“Yes, sir.”

-

“I hope everything’s okay.” Tango was laying on Etho’s couch, one arm across his forehead like he was at a therapy session—which wasn’t far off from the actual situation. 

“He’s probably fine,” Etho reassured him, stirring a cup of tea. 

“I mean, yeah, he’s probably not dead or anything, but he seemed really freaked out that morning. About his family and stuff.”

Etho hummed. “You could always write him a letter.”

Tango scoffed. “And what, get a bird to deliver it?”

“Well I was going to deliver it for you, but not if you’re a jerk about it.”

Tango looked at Etho in confusion. “Wait, what?”

“Part-time job,” He explained, sipping his tea. 

“You’d deliver it for me?” Tango asked, eyes wide. 

Etho shrugged. “Sure.”

Tango leapt up from the couch, a newfound excitement covering his face. “Etho, you’re the best!”

“I know.”

Forgoing his usual snarky response to Etho’s comment, Tango threw himself out the door, not even bothering to say goodbye. 

-

A knock came on Jimmy’s door, interrupting his reading of one of his favorite books. He had been trying to stay busy in the time that he wasn’t trying to find someone to talk to or forced to awkwardly sit at the dinner table, and he was partially succeeding. He still couldn’t get Tango off his mind, though, no matter how hard he tried.

He stood up to answer the door, mentally trying to predict who it would be. His parents were an unlikely choice: he would be called to them if they needed something. It also probably wasn’t one of the staff: they didn’t usually come around this time. That left … not many possibilities. When he opened the door, though, he was pleasantly surprised. 

“Bdubs!” A smile broke out across his face as he opened the door wider, eager to finally see someone he actually talked to. 

“Hey, Jimmy,” He replied. His smile was significantly smaller than Jimmy’s, but at least it was there. “How’re ya doing?”

“I—” Jimmy started, but then stopped himself. “Y’know, not gonna lie, I’m not doing too well.”

He shrugged. “That was kind of expected, but I thought I’d ask anyway. You’re handling this better than I thought.”

Jimmy collapsed against the doorframe, almost too dramatically for his taste. “Oh, Bdubs, you have to help me. I can’t stand being in here all day, knowing that he’s out there in the sunshine and I can’t be there with him—I just—” His sentence dissolved into groans not unlike that of an angry toddler.

Bdubs tilted his head at Jimmy. “There it is. That is why I saved this—” he pulled an envelope from one of his pockets, “—until now.” He held it out to Jimmy, who looked up at him quizzically before accepting.

“What’s this?” He started to inspect the envelope, pushing off the door frame to stand upright. His eyes widened when he turned it over. His name was written on the back of the envelope, preceded by one other word: Rancher. 

He looked back at Bdubs, whose smile was now somewhat smug. “How did you get this?” “Well you see, our dear friend Etho managed to get the letter to me before the other staff picked it up, and I was able to sneak it up here,” he explained, puffing his chest out slightly.

Jimmy grabbed him and pulled him into a quick hug. “Thank you!”

Bdubs nodded before pulling away and walking back down the hallway.

The second after he left, Jimmy pulled his door shut and carefully ripped the envelope open, hurriedly unfolding the letter within. 

Dear Jimmy,

I really hope that everything is okay. Seeing as you haven’t been back since that day, I’m going to assume that your parents grounded you, like you said they would. In that case, I hope they didn’t give you too hard of a time.

Double R and I are doing well, although we both miss you. I tried to remember how you taught me to make daisy crowns, but I unfortunately failed miserably, just like the first time.

I hope you’re doing well. I really do miss you. I understand that things are a bit weird right now, but I’ll wait for you however long you need, pinky promise.

Yours truly,

Tango

P.S. - Something to remember me by.

There was one more thing inside the envelope: a hair ribbon in a deep shade of red. He immediately recognized it as the one Tango wore almost daily. 

Jimmy smiled, clutching the letter and his ribbon like they were​​ Tango himself.

-

Tango was leaning against the wall of the barn, Double R by his side. It had been two days since Etho had delivered his letter to Jimmy and he still hadn’t gotten a response. The whole ordeal was slightly worrying to him, but he figured that panicking wouldn’t do much about the situation, which is why that is exactly what he did.

What if he hadn’t gotten the letter at all? What if he had gotten hurt? Or sick? What if his parents had forced him to move away and they would never see him again? What if a giant monster ate him?

A million equally unlikely scenarios were gnawing away at him by the minute, refusing to follow the logical conclusions. So, Tango sat against the barn wall in silence.

-

“You’re sure you can’t send one back?” Jimmy asked for what certainly could’ve been the hundredth time.

“Yes, I’m sure,” Bdubs repeated.

“Are you really sure?” “I’m as sure as I was the first few hundred times,” he deadpanned.

“But why?”

Bdubs sighed. “Like I have said multiple times, it’s a lot harder to sneak something out than in. Your family doesn’t send a lot of mail.”

“You can at least try though, right?”

“No—” Bdubs spun on him. “Jimmy, listen. He’s fine, alright? Calm down.” Jimmy buried his head in his hands, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry.” He exhaled in a fit of frustration. “I literally can’t think of anything other than seeing him again, but all I’m supposed to think about is that goddamn Ball.”

“Well why don’t you invite him to it, then?” Bdubs suggested offhandedly.

Jimmy paused. “How didn’t I think of that?” He looked over at Bdubs, who was immersed in his work. “Bdubs, you’re a genius.”

“Yes, I know, thank you. Why specifically?” “Do you know if we have any spare invitations?” Bdubs rolled his eyes, but didn’t bother hiding his slight smile.

-

Tango opened his door to see an envelope on the floor in front of it. It was, by his standards, an incredibly fancy envelope, but that wasn’t the focus of his attention. He was more focused on the family crest adorned on the light blue wax seal that held the envelope closed: that of the Solidaritys. 

Tango picked up the envelope, carelessly breaking through the seal to get to its contents. 

Inside was an invitation.

SUMMER’S BALL

Tango Tek,

On behalf of the Solidarity Family, you have cordially been invited to the annual Summer’s Ball, held at the Solidarity Manor in seven days’ time, on Friday the 3rd, June, at 10 pm. 

Your attendance is appreciated.

It was fairly standard, although this was entirely based on assumption on Tango’s part. It was about as fancy as the envelope it had been contained in, although that wasn’t what he was focusing on. Instead, his eyes were locked on the flowing script across the bottom of the card, the one he recognized immediately. It was Jimmy’s handwriting, no doubt about it.

See you there?

-Your Rancher

Tango blinked. A combination of surprise, relief and excitement washed over him as he comprehended the words on this piece of paper, paying extra attention to the last four in particular. 

As he did, he tipped the envelope, causing something to fall out of it, to the ground. Tango bent down to retrieve it, smiling once he realized what it was—a sky blue hair ribbon.

-

Jimmy was sitting next to his open window, which had been his only source of fresh air as of recently. He was wrapping and re-wrapping Tango’s ribbon around his finger, staring off into the distance. 

He hoped Tango had gotten the invitation. He hoped he would show up.

Five days and counting until the Ball. 

-

Tango had been sitting in front of his closet for practically every waking minute since he had received the envelope on his doorstep. If he thought picking out an outfit for their date had been hard, this was about twenty times harder. 

Jimmy’s ribbon was wrapped around his ponytail.

Three days until the Ball.

-

Jimmy stared at the shining, deep crimson ribbon in his hands. One day left.

-

Tango was wringing his hands as he walked, clutching the invitation to the ball like his life depended on it. His eyes were flitting across the scene in front of him, taking in the landscaping and sloped roofs just the same. It was a rather nice night, with a cool breeze floating past Tango as he made his way up the path. The stars were out above him, shining down like minuscule spotlights on quite possibly the least important attendee of this Ball. 

He was nearing the entrance now, light from the inside shining through the open door. There was someone standing by the door too, a butler, probably. Tango gave him a small smile as he started to walk inside, before he was stopped by the butler. 

“Sir—“ He held his arm out in front of Tango. “Your invitation, please.”

“Oh!” Tango stepped back, embarrassment flooding his face, and held his invitation out to the man, his hand shaking slightly. “Sorry.”

He inspected the invitation for a few seconds, taking a couple short glances at Tango while doing so. One of his eyebrows was raised. 

He looked back up at Tango and held his arm out towards the entrance. “Enjoy your night.”

Tango nodded quickly, tucking the invitation into his jacket pocket. “Thank you.” Then he took a deep inhale and stepped through the doorway. 

The room in front of him was glowing with a warm white light, radiating from the crystal chandelier suspended from the ceiling and reflecting off the cream painted walls. Granted, he had seen it before, while he was repairing the missing section of the manor, but not like this. It seemed like the room itself was dressed to the nines, was filled with people dressed in various colors, all radiating wealth. Tango suddenly became extremely self aware of the subpar quality of his jacket. It was ridiculous—him even being here—he could’ve never dreamed of it and he wasn’t sure if he wanted to. In fact, he understood why Jimmy didn’t like it, this place seemed unbearable to Tango. At least he could see Jimmy again. That made it worth it. 

“Tango!”

He spun around to see Jimmy pushing through the crowd towards him, and for a second, all of his doubt vanished. 

“Jimmy! Hi!” Tango exclaimed. He pulled him into a short but tight hug before letting go. “You look amazing.”

He was wearing a cream colored jacket with delicate blue flowers embroidered along each of the sleeves. It complimented his eyes well. 

Jimmy blushed. “Why, thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

Tango laughed. “I’ve had this jacket for what, three years? Trust me, it’s seen better days.”

“I like the red,” Jimmy said. “It looks good on you. You look nice.” He smiled. 

Tango smiled back. “Nowhere as good as you.”

His blush spread a little before he spun around. “What do you think about this?”

He was wearing the hair ribbon Tango had given to him. It seemed brighter in Jimmy’s hair. 

“I love it,” Tango responded, beaming. “I like the wig, too. Makes you look esteemed.”

Jimmy spun back and stuck his tongue out at him. “It’s itchy.”

“That’s the price you gotta pay,” Tango shrugged. “Oh, and—“ He spun around too, letting Jimmy see the sky blue ribbon in his own hair. “I’m wearing yours, too!”

His smile grew even wider. “It looks amazing. Y’know, we’re kind of matching, in a way.”

“Like a matching set,” Tango agreed. “So, uh, what are we doing?”

Jimmy shrugged. “Wanna go get drinks?”

“Sure.” Tango held out his arm, which Jimmy accepted. “Where am I going?”

Jimmy pointed him in the direction of a table stacked with glasses of champagne, both of them grabbing one. They found a quiet spot to lean against the wall as they finished their glasses, finally catching up with each other again. 

“How have you been?” Tango asked. 

“A bit miserable,” Jimmy admitted. 

“Yeah, me too. Double R misses you. I thought about bringing him with, but I don’t think he’d like being carried for that long,” he joked. 

Jimmy chuckled. “Yeah, I don’t think he’d be very happy with you.” 

“No, he would not.” Tango drained the last drops of champagne from his glass. “Thanks for inviting me, by the way.”

Jimmy looked at him. “Tango, I think I would literally be dying if you weren’t here. Thank you.”

Tango nodded. “Well, I’m glad I could help.”

The band concluded the song they had been playing and began another. The new one was a much slower tempo, like a waltz. 

“Hey,” Tango started. “Do you want to dance? I promise I won’t fall on you this time.”

A second’s worth of scattered emotions flashed through Jimmy’s brain before he smiled. “I would love to.”

Tango held his arm out to Jimmy again, setting his glass on a nearby table. Jimmy did the same, accepting Tango’s arm, and the two of them made their way into the middle of the room. 

Jimmy’s hand slid down Tango’s arm and into his hand, lightly holding it as the pair spread out a little. 

Tango was looking into Jimmy’s eyes, and Jimmy was looking into his. Then his eyes snapped to somewhere over Tango’s shoulder, instantly widening. 

Tango turned, too, trying to spot whatever Jimmy seemed so concerned about, and spotted a pair whose presence seemed to command the room. They both looked immaculate and like they were horrible to be around, at least that’s what Tango thought. 

“My parents,” Jimmy said, confirming Tango’s suspicions. 

Tango looked back at him. “Are you okay?”

Still looking behind Tango, Jimmy took a deep breath, his face set. “Yeah.” He locked eyes with Tango. “Let’s dance.”

Jimmy grabbed one of Tango’s hands and set his other on Tango’s waist, Tango putting his free hand on Jimmy’s shoulder. They danced, just like that day in the barn, the one when Tango fell in love. They were spinning and swaying as the music floated through the air around them, carrying them through the waltz. As they did, Tango watched Jimmy’s face slowly soften and fade into a smile to match Tango’s. 

It was an amazing ordeal, a perfect combination of grace and giddy excitement. It was glorious. Tango felt as if he’d never been alive before this moment, like this was the firs time he had actually experienced joy. He was filled to the brim with happiness and loving and care, so much so that he felt high on his own emotions. So, when the song stopped and they both paused, Tango almost didn’t know what to do. 

His arms fell to his sides as he slowly stepped back, still holding one of Jimmy’s hands. He bent down, pulling Jimmy’s hand up to his lips, and pressed a long, hard kiss onto the back of it. 

He stood, eyes shining with happiness. Jimmy looked back at him with pure joy. 

“What a gentleman,” He joked. “You know what would be even more gentlemanly?”

Tango stepped closer. “What’s that?” 

“If you kissed me for real.”

Tango grinned. “Well, I’m pleased to let you know that I can definitely help with that.”

Jimmy smirked back. “I was hoping you would.”

Under the spotlight of the chandelier, in a room full of people he didn’t know, Tango stepped forward and tenderly held Jimmy, bringing their lips together. They kissed. Warm and passionate and loving and full of care and trust, they kissed.

And even in that spotlight, surrounded by strangers, nothing else could’ve even dreamed of mattering. Tango was more comfortable he had ever been. This was where he was supposed to be. Nowhere else. 

[pianokantzart]

Shout out to @multicolour-ink​ and @chloecherrysip​ for use of their gifs: X X

First of all, I’d like to point out how ecstatic Luigi gets the moment they get their first call. I know that some suspect that Mario dragged Luigi into the plumbing business (i.e. that “you’re bringing your brother down with you” line from their dad), but it seems to me that this is fully both Mario and Luigi’s dream.

Look at him! He is shaking with joy. He absolutely can not contain himself. He throws his recently-cracked phone in order to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake him before excitedly pulling him into a hug. His heart is all in on this company.

With their first job on the horizon Mario and Luigi race out of the restaurant, climb into their van, and start the engine. Unfortunately, it looks like the money that might have gone into keeping their vehicle in working condition went into that TV commercial. The van sputters for a moment before the engine dies completely.

One thing I noticed is that when they get in the van Luigi has his seatbelt on, while Mario doesn’t. Mario is too focused on his goal to remember the details, while Luigi continuously has safety on the mind. Makes me wonder how many times Luigi has had to remind his brother to buckle up halfway down the road.

Mario tries a second time to get the engine to start to no avail. Luigi begins to panic, fidgeting nervously in his seat. “Oh no, we’re gonna be late.”

“No we are not!” Mario picks up the bag of tools and shoves them into Luigi’s arms before opening his door and bolting out. “C’mon, let’s go!”

“Hey! Wait up!” Luigi races after his brother, who forges on full speed ahead. Mario leaps over and dives through every obstacle in his way with little regard for anything other than his destination, but while his eyes remain on the road ahead he calls back to his brother, making sure he’s keeping up and knows which way to go: “This way!” “C’mon Lu, step on it!”

Luigi has trouble right off the bat. Rounding a corner he almost bumps into a business man crossing the street, and is so distracted by the near miss that he crashes into the garbage can Mario recently leapfrogged over, disturbing the cat rummaging around inside. Luigi’s successive collision draws the cat’s attention, and just his luck the kitty takes one look at him and decides he’s gotta die. (Jeeze, what is it with Luigi and animals? They must get stressed out by his anxiety or something.)

Luigi continues to run into every possible obstacle while struggling to get the angry cat off his head, but Lordy he’s trying his best.

He accidentally knocks groceries out of a woman’s arms... but an interesting detail is that he manages to catch the grocery bag mid-air. Luigi’s clumsy and unlucky, but at the same time he’s got some decent reflexes.

Of course, catching the bag doesn’t stop its contents from spilling out onto the sidewalk. He tries to do the gentlemanly thing and pick them up– but being still in crisis he gets his wires crossed. He haphazardly shoves half the apples back into the bag, throws the malicious furball in for good measure, and hands it off to the nearest person with a friendly little “here ya’ go!” before running off.

Luigi finally catches up with Mario when he encounters an obstacle big enough to give him pause: a construction site that closed off the entire road. But Mario steels himself, regathers his determination, and barrels ahead once more before Luigi can catch his breath.

“Oh Mario, what are ya’ doin’!?” Luigi sounds desperate, practically pleading with his brother to hold his horses, but he follows nonetheless, and this time– given the more dangerous terrain– Mario is making sure things are a little easier for him. Mario opens the gates for Luigi, brings down a ladder, throws a wooden plank over a gap... little things to help him get through.

(Side note: I like how in this gif ⬆️ Luigi pauses a bit, trying to figure out whether or not he should apologize to the construction worker on his brother’s behalf before he just continues ahead out of fear of getting left behind.)

 But at the same time, there are obstacles that Mario is able to avoid that Luigi can’t help but stumble into. While Mario swings along chains and runs across metal beams overhead, Luigi once again fumbles his way into everything and everyone. Again, he’s trying his best to be polite all the while, apologizing to the victims of his clumsiness and gently tiptoeing through the recently-laid wet cement in an attempt to minimize the damage.

Finally they reach the end, and Mario is still calling after his brother. “C’mon Luigi, pump those legs!”

Luigi stumbles on, visibly panting. As he exits the construction site he attempts one last little formality on the way out by closing the gate behind him. “I’m trying... I’m trying! I’ve got bad knees!”

Conclusion:

When Mario is fixated on a goal he becomes reckless, so wrapped up in what he wants to do and where he wants to go that everything else falls to the wayside... except his brother. Despite his determination there is definitely a care and concern for Luigi all throughout, especially when the road gets rocky. At the same time, Mario doesn’t seem to quite see everything his brother goes through. I’m not talking about the “bad knees” line (that’s it’s own separate debate), I’m just talking about the usual bad luck Luigi encounters merely trying to run down a sidewalk. Though Mario has seen enough to be protective of his brother, he doesn’t handle Luigi with kid gloves. In fact, he holds him to almost the same standard he does himself, and I think Luigi appreciates that despite everything. When all is said and done they did make it to their destination on time... it just wasn’t the route that Lu would’ve chosen willingly.

[historicallyaccuratecheese]

I’ve now gotten halfway through Season 2 of The Magnus Archives, so as per usual, here is my fifth post detailing my thoughts, analysis and theories on every episode, this time with a focus on Episodes 51-60!

Sorry that this one’s taken longer than usual to write, unfortunately I’ve had a few things clashing with the time I spend to listen to tma and write these recently, but hopefully I’ll be able to get back on track soon enough! Also…I’m gonna be real with you, these are just getting longer and longer as I descend down the rabbit hole, so I once again urge you to take your time reading this if you’re at all interested.

As always, please don’t spoil any future episodes for me, and if you haven’t gotten this far in tma then…here’s your spoiler warning for everything up until Episode 60! And finally, I recommend you read my previous posts of this nature, as I will be referencing my thoughts and theories from those in here. There’s a link to the masterpost containing all of them right above the cut!

Anyways, hope you enjoy! :)

- Episode 51, High Pressure 🤿

Statement of Antonia Hayley, regarding a deep dive that took place near Sable Island, Nova Scotia in August 2006.

On tonight’s episode of ✨the connections✨, we bring you back to a jolly old rich dude who throws people into the void! So um…yeah, this one definitely brought back some interesting plot points. In all honesty, I have very little to say about my thoughts on the statement outside of some theories, as while the episode was really good, it’s also a pretty simple one to understand. So, I’ll just run through a few rapid-fire thoughts on the episode, and then get into a few of the meatier topics. Firstly, it’s always nice to have a statement outside of The UK, that definitely does a good job when it comes to the world building, and shows that ✨the horrors✨ really are all around us, so I like that. This statement also gets bonus points for doing another great job at scaring me. I’m not especially thalassophobic, but the descriptions of the empty water devoid of life, and the way the darker waters creeped up into the surface levels…I don’t know, it just got to me. I also found it interesting how we never learn what company Ms. Haley worked for, and how Captain Kemp seemed to have some greater awareness of what happened here, although I can’t really speculate on what all of this means outside of that I think it’s important. And…yeah, those are my thoughts on the standalone elements of this episode! It was really good, don’t get me wrong…I just don’t have a whole lot to say about it. But thankfully, this episode does bring up a good few interesting connections, and managed to further develop the story in some really interesting ways, and I have much more to say about that. The first thing I have to talk about is, of course, The Fairchild Family.

Admittedly, if it wasn’t for Episode 46 reminding me of Episode 21, I might have just forgotten about this plot point, so it’s honestly very nice to see it getting some further development. Looking back at Episode 21, we see that Simon Fairchild was an old man who went skydiving with Robert Kelly, due to a charity raised for his deceased wife, and he was also accompanied by a relative of his named Harriet Fairchild, who was his instructor. Before he dived, he yelled “enjoy sky blue” at Robert, seemingly explaining why he fell into that endless sky, and later got “eaten” by it. Here, we learn that The Fairchilds are a wealthy family located in Cornwall, who invest in aerospace technology, shipping logistics, and underwater drilling and construction. It’s also implied that Simon Fairchild was a con artist in the 1930s who owned many pieces of jewelry, and that he was thrown out of a fourth floor window, yet no one noticed. The cases that would later contain this jewelry would start to mysteriously crack, as if something had been dropped on them. Jon states that Simon Fairchild was an alias of the con artist, meaning that if the con artist is the same person, the entire Fairchild family might be under a fake surname. And finally, Simon is most likely responsible for what happened in this episode. And…that’s about all we know on The Fairchilds for now, although I must say that I have quite a few things to say about them, particularly Simon. So, I said in my last post that I think there’s a connection between The Fairchilds and Mike Crew, as they both seem to connect to and/or directly serve something known as “Vertigo” or (more fittingly in my opinion) “The Vast”. I still stand by this, and I think Simon, and potentially other Fairchilds, can throw people into wide open voids, taking the form of endless skies and dark waters. However, here lies something interesting. Initially, I thought that The Vast only encompassed the sky, given everything that had been seen up until this point, but now I think it just encompasses all horror relating to wide open spaces that just have…a whole lot of nothing in them. Because here, we see that Simon’s abilities manifest in the ocean rather than the sky, and The Fairchilds seem to invest in all sorts of…wide space-like business ventures. I personally think that he shouted something like “Enjoy ocean blue” after Antonia, and that’s what caused her to experience the dark waters. As for where he got these powers, I don’t really know, but because Mike’s weird sky related experiences seem to be responsible for…whatever weird shit has happened to him, I have to wonder if Simon’s defenestration back in the 30s did something to him as well, maybe whoever pushed him out the window was also kind of a weirdo. But mentioning him being alive in the 30s…this guy’s age is a little weird. Like, my grandpa was born in the 30s, and while still pretty healthy, is nowhere near as mobile and adventurous as this guy who was at the very least a late teen in the 30s, presuming that the con artist is the same person as this Simon (which does make me wonder what his REAL name could be…). All I’m saying is that this guy must have some INSANE stamina going on, especially if he really is coming up on a century here. So yeah, I think the powers Simon had are pretty interesting, and that the information I think it seems to provide on “The Vast” is also pretty cool. There are a couple of other things about The Fairchilds I find interesting. Firstly, I will say that it’s strange this is now the third instance of an extensive family with paranormal ties, alongside The Keays and The Lukases. I don’t know if they’re directly linked, but it makes me think that if one person in the family has a paranormal experience…it’s effects might carry over to the rest. Like, maybe Albrecht von Closen’s encounter in The Schwartzwald still haunts The Keays to this day (even though the two we know of are at least…somewhat dead.) I just wonder where exactly the weird stuff with these families starts, and where it ends.

The Fairchilds also have this weird association with riches, which like yeah, it makes sense because they’re rich, but I find it kind of peculiar as a recurring motif. Like, Simon was skydiving for a charity that directly funded the family, he wanted to uncover the riches of his great-grandfather’s shipwreck, and he was at one point a jewelry con-artist. I don’t know if this actually means anything but I just found it kind of interesting. Finally, I kind of want to talk about the dark water. The way it was described, especially with the “hand” reaching out…it really reminded me of Lost Johns’ Cave. Like, a lot. It’s interesting, because I associate that episode with ✨the horrors✨ that connect to compression and/or darkness, the former of which is…pretty much the opposite of The Vast, so these potential similarities are kind of weird to me, but still definitely interesting. Kind of makes me wonder if the events here were like…maybe a collaborative effort between The Fairchilds and The People’s Church of The Divine Host, although that might be a bit of a stretch for the time being. So uh…yeah! There’s my thoughts on The Fairchilds I guess! I really hope to learn more about this weird-ass rich family as time goes on, as I think the whole vibe that surrounds them is great, I’m a sucker for when relatively unassuming old people turn out to be pretty cunning and fucked up in reality, so I’d love to see Simon and other Fairchilds pop up again in the future. And while I do wish I had more to say about the core plot of the statement, I must reiterate that I thought it was good. Like I said, it did a good job at scaring me, so I’d consider that a win. But honestly, as fun as all of this is…I don’t think it quite competes with the supplemental, because WOW. This one is easily my favorite so far.

Let me start by saying what I’ve been saying the entire season. Jon. You need to get your shit together. Like OH MY GOD. I KNOW that he’s technically suspicious of…”Sasha”, but even then! Why is it that he stalks Tim outside of his house, sees Martin’s crush on him as threatening, and moves Elias to the top of his suspect list simply because he said “dude, stop stalking your coworkers”, but then SASHA, the lady who stares at the table you acknowledge is creepy, goes to a wax museum for prolonged periods of time every day, and who despite the abilities of the impersonator is still CLEARLY acting differently than how she did before the funky worm lady showed up, and she *somehow* lost a few tapes, is apparently still the least suspicious? What the hell are you on? Are you stealing from Elias’ secret drawer of the good shit or something? Honestly it kind of feels like Not!Sasha isn’t even trying to hide her identity, but that’s just because she has no reason to since Jon is just THAT. FREAKING. DENSE. Ffs you are an ARCHIVIST. You work at an INSTITUTE. You are INSUFFERABLE. But like, on that note, can I just compliment Jonny Sims for making a protagonist that is such an insufferable loser…and yet I still love him dearly? Like, not just ironically, I’m genuinely invested in him and still really like his character despite how insane and stupid he can be. That takes some serious writing talent. But anyways…back to the supplemental. Firstly, Jon mentions that a few new artifacts have been admitted to the storage room, namely a wardrobe that light can not penetrate, an eye carved out of rock that interferes with video cameras, and a scalpel permanently covered in disease. I get the feeling that all of these are likely to show up in future statements, with the eye being the most curious to me personally. I feel like there’s probably a connection to Gerard Keay there, but the way it makes this video cameras malfunction is very reminiscent of how the computers can’t upload any real statements. But while that’s all pretty interesting, the real highlight to me is the recording of him and Not!Sasha.

Firstly, I just need to give some serious props to Eve Hewitt for her voice acting. You can tell that Not!Sasha has become more accustomed to her new identity over time, but it’s still just so…perfectly off, and I still love the faint audio distortion in the back of her scenes. Secondly…FUCK YEAH THE FRACTALS! I FEEL SO VALIDATED. For a while now I’ve held the belief that Micheal connects to fractals, which I still think is very likely, but I also found it interesting how the patterns on the table were described in a way very similar to the fractals, so I felt like there might be some connection. …I still don’t quite know what that connection might be but PROGRESS. Now, Not!Sasha suggests it’s more like a web that has caught them, but firstly, Not!Sasha is a lying little asshole, and secondly, I think she only says that due to her personal relationship with the table. You see, ever since the end of Season 1, I figured that the table was used to transport the impersonators, but Not!Sasha’s dialogue here makes it seem like more of a prison, one that the impersonator does not want to be tethered to. Now, I’ve always assumed that impersonators are a species, and I still do given the existence of the anatomy students (which aren’t exactly the same but they’re still just too similar to ignore), but now I think that one specific impersonator was tethered to the table, and it must go wherever the table goes. This probably means that Not!Graham and Not!Sasha are actually the exact same being, and “Graham Folger” is likely to have just…vanished. Alternatively there could be still be multiple impersonators here, who get released from the table after they successfully impersonate someone, but no matter what the truth is, I just find it so interesting, as it’s really our first true look at Not!Sasha’s thoughts that come from the real entity, not the person it’s pretending to be. But like, this just makes me think about the table itself even more. Like, whether the pattern is a web or a fractal, I think the fact that it’s imprisoning another paranormal being is very interesting. If it’s a fractal, then it connects back to Micheal, someone who recognizes Not!Sasha’s true identity, and while still undeniably a messed up being given what he did to Helen Richardson, has ultimately been pretty helpful to The Institute, outside of when he stabbed Jon of course. But if it’s a web, then a web makes me think of spiders, which not only ties back to the spiders in the box that I strongly believe to be the missing piece of the table (which also had an APPLE inside! Anatomy Class!), but also ties back to the spiders killing worms in the tunnels, showing at least some level of disdain for other aspects of ✨the horrors✨. I personally lean towards the pattern being a fractal, but either option is very interesting, and I’m really starting to wonder what this table even is. Lastly, we have the interesting reveal of Not!Sasha spending time at…Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum…of all places. Ok….I mean you do not actually you I guess. I’m sure there will be some genuine relevance to the plot from this information at some point, but for now, I think I can only extrapolate small things from it. Personally, I think that..at least one of the reasons she’s going here is in order to study how to become human, which is once again very reminiscent of Anatomy Class. Which like…I get the motivation, but if you want to learn how to become more human, go take an anthropology class or something. Madame Tussaud’s is definitely good in terms of wax museums but like…wax figures are still inherently uncanny and not all that natural so…you should really find better ways of educating yourself Not!Sasha. (Honestly though, as much as I drag her for killing my beloved OG Sasha, I have developed quite a fondness for Not!Sasha. Like, she’s still very unnerving, but it’s just kind of funny to have her be that new weird coworker in the office. Like, she is living someone else’s best life.) …I got off topic. Anyways, all in all a good episode with a really interesting supplemental.

Supplemental: Micheal…come back…I miss yoooouuuuuuu…

- Episode 52, Exceptional Risk 🚰

Statement of Phillip Brown, regarding a time working at HMP Wakefield between 1990 and 2002.

Yes. YES. YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES YES FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSS. I’M SO GENUINELY HAPPY THAT THIS IS AN EPISODE THAT EXISTS! I haven’t really mentioned this before, since my thoughts on the first 20 episodes were extremely brief (looking back at that post now is an experience btw), but I absolutely ADORE A Father’s Love. It’s such a tragic and interesting episode that I have not stopped thinking about ever since I first listened to it, not my all time favorite, but it is up there. So the fact it basically got a sequel makes me extremely happy, and while I don’t like this episode quite as much as A Father’s Love, I still think it’s really, REALLT good in its own right. Truth be told, this episode doesn’t reveal a ton of new information in summary, as we already knew that Robert Montauk died in prison, and it was likely due to The People’s Church of The Divine Host, but just being able to get a more vivid look at what happened really does add a lot in my opinion. So uh…yeah, let’s start this off by talking about the episode’s protagonist, Philip Brown. And let me just say, this guy is absolutely the gold medalist for most dickheaded statement giver in the entire series so far. Congratulations, I guess. Once again, I actually like when we get morally questionable statement givers, but maaaaannn. I just wanted to see this man suffer. Not only because I had sympathy for Robert given my prior knowledge of his past, but also because they REALLY portrayed the cruelty of many prison guards extremely well. Honestly kind of a shame that he didn’t suffer more. And you know, while his experience was certainly paranormal, I got the vibe that he was only submitting a statement out of pettiness rather than genuine fear, but that’s just another example of great storytelling. Overall glad his wife left him, but he was certainly an interesting protagonist. Anyways, I also wanted to talk more about Robert because..uuuuuaaaagghhh…his story makes me so sad :(. I actually really liked the way they portrayed him here, because it’s so real. Philip talks about his hulking size, how he broke the arm of another prisoner and was put in the exceptional risk unit due to his insane danger, as you’d expect from a prison guard who only knows him as one of the country’s most notorious and threatening serial killers. But when you look back at A Father’s Love, and how his daughter Julia talked about him…she just described him as her dad, because that’s who she knew him as. She obviously understood that he was a serial killer who did terrible things, but she still focused on the more tragic aspects of his story, and it provides such a nice contrast to that episode and this one, really showing how complicated everyone’s world views are. It’s just another great example of how good the storytelling here really is. But back to Robert…wow, it really is just so unfortunate what happened. To have this man do everything to attempt to save the lives of both his daughter and himself (presumably after his wife abandoned him, which admittedly I do wish was touched upon a bit more here), only to find that it was all for naught is just absolutely gut-wrenching. We already knew The People’s Church of The Divine Host were involved in his death but…just hearing about it from someone who (kind of, because it was dark) witnessed it directly makes it all the more depressing. Really, the only small bit of relief I got here was the part about him and Julia reuniting, but even then that was still really sad given how he felt he had to lie. But now I think I ought to discuss the most interesting elements of this episode. Truth be told, while this episode is very overtly connected to others in obvious ways, it didn’t reveal all that much new stuff. But, that being said, I still think there was a couple of interesting things here, those being Maxwell Rayner’s first true appearance, and the return of the darkness.

Truth be told, at this point in time there’s like…no information on Maxwell Rayner. All we know is that he was a defrocked Pentecostal minister, who according to Julia Montauk, might possibly be German. This would line up pretty well, as he is presumably a descendant of the World War 1 solider Joseph Rayner, whose body was found next to Wilfred Owen’s in Episode 7. Obviously he was the “detective” on the phone in Episode 9, and he founded The People’s Church of The Divine Host. Also, I completely forgot about this, but Rayner apparently disappeared in 1994, and the church disbanded around the same time. This is really strange though, because all of the episodes that definitely focus on the church have taken place after 1994, so I think it’s safe to assume that the disbandment was just a cover-up of sorts. Anyways, with all that in mind, what does this episode tell us about him? Well, not much really. All we know now is that he definitely still held resentment for Robert, and that he seemingly orchestrated his death, and really…everything weird in Episode 9 firsthand. However, I still think his presence here is important, simply due to his one line of dialogue. That being “You didn’t think you could kill it for long, did you?” This is…honestly pretty interesting. I assume that the “it” Rayner refers to is meant to be the darkness that The People’s Church of The Divine Host serves, all because of the context. You see, I initially assumed Robert was sacrificing people to appease the darkness; the more people he killed, the less the darkness would come for him and Julia. But based on this line of dialogue, I now think that he was trying to actively fight back against the darkness. I think this adds up quite nicely, because looking back, at least one of the people Robert Montauk killed was a member of the church, so it doesn’t seem too far fetched to assume that EVERYONE he killed was a part of the church as well. I think he was killing them, not to appease the darkness, but to drive it away. And that’s why Rayner looked at him with such hatred, why the darkness killed him so brutally. Robert Montauk wasn’t just a failure to the church, he was a traitor. But…mentioning his death, I actually want to discuss the darkness itself, as this episode gave a very new and interesting look into how it works. Now, the gross water and malfunctioning lights is all stuff we’ve seen before, as is the mention of things that are just kind of…wet and gross, but this episode provides a new aspect of the darkness, that being something really…animalistic. Like, we have tearing coming from the cell, Robert being dead from an excessive amount of stab wounds of all things, and then most notably, the darkness growling. I don’t know what exactly to make of this yet, but I just find it really interesting. I initially viewed the darkness as some sort of weird, mysterious force, but now I’m starting to see it more like a traditional monster, and…I don’t know, it’s causing gears to turn in my head. In conclusion, while this statement didn’t offer as much new things as some others…I’m - I’m just way to invested in this family drama to even care, and I’m so happy it wasn’t just a one-off thing. So…yeah. Great episode.

But of course, there’s the supplemental….s to discuss. Yeah, there was kind of two supplementals in this episode, I mean not really, but I don’t know where else to put the interaction with Basira so…uh…here you go! Now, the actual supplemental doesn’t grant much new information. I think it’s safe to assume that Not!Sasha is lying about her boyfriend, but it’s at the very least nice to see Jon genuinely just…not trusting her right now. (Also the phrase “produce said boyfriend” now lives rent free in my head.) But thankfully, even though the supplemental is short, we have a mid-statement interaction with Basira! Super happy to see that she’s a recurring character, and that she’s brought a new tape with her! I’m interested by the prospect about a statement on The Library of Alexandria of all things, that’s always been a very interesting historical conundrum to me so I’d love to see how tma tackles it. But as nice of a reveal as that is, it pales, nay, it SQUEALS in comparison to the reveal that TIM. IS CANONICALLY. THE HOT ONE. FUCK. YES. I mean, it was already pretty obvious, the man has managed to seduce at least two cops of different genders, but I’m so happy that we know he’s just like…objectively hot. Whatever you’re most attracted to, that’s what Tim looks like. (Unless you’re not attracted to men, or anyone, but you get the point. Also the fact that Basira says he pulls off the worm scars while Jon doesn’t like C’MON YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO HIM LIKE THAT.) I also need to appreciate the fact that the first assistant Jon thinks of is Martin. …We’ve come so far from the days of Episode 1 where he straight up didn’t consider him one…and this is the first tangible sign of Jon maybe reciprocating his feelings so I’m very happy about this. And of course, how can I neglect to mention that Jon and Basira are just going to keep Tim’s assumptions afloat to avoid suspicion. Like, considering that this is one of the most horrific pieces of media I’ve every engaged with, I must say it’s kind of insane how funny it can be at times. (Also, they might have been implying “I’m not interested” in their interaction, but I’m just going to assume that Jon and Basira were saying “I’m not straight” because shut up I can dream.) So yeah…you guys weren’t entirely kidding when you said The Magnus Archives is a workplace comedy.

Supplemental: I’m thinking about the tunnels…we haven’t heard about them for a while. Also, is Jon just not going to tell anyone about Micheal? Like, I know you value discretion, but that seems kind of important, no? I mean, he did kidnap a woman twice and then stab you so….uh….what’s going on man?

- Episode 53, Crusader 📜

Sergeant Walter Heller recording, regarding a discovery made near Alexandria during Operation Crusader in November of 1941.

Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god. Yes yes yes yes yes yes yes YES! THE BRAINWORMS ARE GOING WILD!!! Look, I already expected this episode to give some very interesting information just because of the fact it’s another Gertrude tape, but WOW. This one did a LOT. It seems fairly isolated from others on the surface, but there’s so many little connections to other episodes that make my brain go absolutely wild. There’s…quite a bit to unpack here, but I’ll do my best to cover everything that shows up in this episode, and also my theories about what it might all mean. So, I’ll start by discussing….let’s say, the core plot of the statement.

So, not only is this another recording done by Gertrude, but it doubles as a statement recorded live from subject. And I’ve got to say, Walter Heller was a great protagonist, particularly due to his VA. I will admit that I initially found him hard to hear, but that’s ultimately kind of a me problem, and it doesn’t matter because by the time I finished the episode, I thought that Harvey Kesselman did a FANTASTIC job as him. The voice acting in tma has always been of fantastic quality, but this one might just be the most real and visceral yet. He really portrayed the role of a war veteran with implied PTSD fantastic, and made it so easy to sympathize with a character in just one episode, which given Walter’s fate, is unfortunately probably the only episode he’ll ever be in. But honestly, his story was just really sad, even if the WW2 aspect of the statement isn’t the main focus, the description of that battle in the desert, him getting shot in the leg and watching his comrade die in a fiery blaze…it’s just really heartbreaking and shockingly real. I honestly kind of like how the first part of the episode wasn’t really paranormal, just a sad look at the horrors of war. It reminded me of Episode 7 in a way, although I don’t really get the feeling they’re connected. (Also between this and Episode 48 I really have to wonder what Italy did to Rusty Quill.) But of course, after the battle, we move on to the plot about The Serapeum of Alexandria. As I mentioned earlier, this is a part of history that I really like, and I think it fits perfectly in tma. But…regarding this plot line, this is where I have to get a little bit speculative. Because truth be told, there’s so many odd similarities to previous statements here, and so many weird new reveals as well that really do befuddle me. So uh..let’s get into that!

So this whole part starts with Walter falling through a wooden door. Already it’s evoking feelings of a previous episode, said episode obviously being The New Door. And not only do the tunnels that Walter ends up in kind of remind me of Micheal’s backrooms, but also give of feelings of many other previous episodes. These episodes include Lost Johns’ Cave, Old Passages, Too Deep and Schwartzwald, the last of which I feel is…particularly relevant for reasons I’ll get into soon. But as Walter goes through the tunnels, he find himself in multiple rooms, filled with scrolls. And as we learn later…these scrolls are here because The Serapeum, or at least what lies beneath it, were a previous iteration of the archives. Specifically the ones in The Magnus Institute. ….WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?! This just raises…so many questions. I mean, the tunnels kind of reminded me of the old library in Schwartzwald, but THE Magnus Archives?! What?! This just raises…so many questions. Like, what was on the scrolls? Were they also statements regarding the paranormal, or something greater. How does Jonah Magnus tie into all of this. Why and how did he replicate these ancient hidden caves when making his institute. If the archives have existed this long, is Jonah even the real founder of The Magnus Institute, or has it just existed for a long time, going under different names? And what exactly makes this specific breed of archive so special? Just…why…how…what…when…where…who…HUH?! I know that my thoughts on this are super incoherent and scrambled but like…I CAN’T HELP IT! THIS IS JUST WAY TOO MUCH! But…regarding what might make this archive and that of The Magnus Institute so special…well, I think it’s safe to say that they are both connected to the same member of ✨the horrors✨. That being the one associated with eyes. …oh dear.

So, as Walter goes through the tunnels, he finds a corpse of a knight, which Gertrude later suspects to be of The Order of St. John, which I will touch in in a bit. All I have to say for now is that this guy was…probably killed by the thing inside here. That thing is likely the long robed figure with spindly fingers and one eye. I will say that the fingers, alongside the door and the passages in general are all very Micheal-core, but I don’t know how connected all of this actually is to him just yet so…I’ll make a small note of that for the time being and just leave it as an odd similarity for now. Anyways, this figure, Micheal-related or not, gives Walter the ability to see perfectly in the dark, but also makes him feel as if he’s being watched. So overall there’s a lot of eye and sight imagery here, which is already an interesting connection to Schwartzwald and The Keay Family, but things get really, REALLY interesting when Walter comes back to this encounter post-statement. Because apparently, he experienced the exact same feeling of being watched when he came to the institute. So, combine that with the fact that the archives in Alexandria are supposedly a previous iteration of those in the institute, and something becomes very clear. Every iteration of of the archives has been fucking haunted. Not just by worms, spiders, Micheal, Not!Sasha and etc, but by one of ✨the horrors✨ in the flesh. (I know three of the things I listed I consider horrors but shut up I’m trying to be dramatic.) And I think that horror is the one associated with eyes. The very same one that is connected to The Keay Family. I already mentioned how this episode reminded me of Schwartzwald with the ancient library thing going on, and the eyes, but think about what Walter said. How he felt like he was being watched back then and felt the same thing when giving his statement. I think that Jonah Magnus might have sought to replicate the archive beneath The Serapeum, and in doing so, made it the new home of the being that once resided there. Maybe that’s the thing that’s inside the tunnels, the thing that Jon feels like is watching him. And when you think about how this thing might connect to The Keay Family, how Gerard can wield its power, not only does it make me think about how The Keays could potentially connect to The Institute (outside of the obvious yet very interesting fact of Jonah being close to Albrecht von Closen), but it also gets me thinking about Pinhole Books, Mary Keay’s bookstore. While not technically an archive, it…still could’ve been something pretty close, right. Maybe she sought to create a home for the eye horror as well. Maybe Jurgen Leitner had a similar goal with his library! (Although granted, a lot of Leitners seem to connect to other horrors so I’m not entirely sure about that one.) It’s just…it’s just a lot to take in. Obviously the institute has had to deal with things like The Flesh Hive and Micheal, but…to think that it might have been home to a horror this entire time is concerning. It gets me thinking about so much. From Jonah Magnus, to the tunnels, to Elias, to just…whatever true purpose this place might hold! There’s so many other things as well though, like how the eye horror has a clear theme of knowledge since it hangs around in ancient archives and libraries, and yet Gerard, who clearly has a connection to it, is going out of his way to BURN. BOOKS. What’s up with that? And like, what if the eye horror ends up being specific to just the archives? Does that mean that other places in the institute like Artifact Storage are more tied to another one of ✨the horrors✨? I just…UUUUUGGGHHH this is so much to take in oh my god. And you want to know what the funny thing is? We’re STILL. NOT. DONE. Because both Gertrude and Jon have follow-ups to give us, and….oh boy.

So, let’s start with Gertrude. I think one of the most peculiar things about her follow-up is that it’s very different from the one she did in Tightrope. There, she was entirely certain of what she was dealing with, seemingly having extensive prior knowledge on The Other Circus. Here though, I mean…she’s still a hell of a lot more sure of things than Jon, but it seems like this was part of an ongoing investigation she was doing, rather than being just another statement for her. Either way, she was clearly taking proactive measures to investigate this case and deal with what it implied…but maybe she was just a little bit TOO proactive. …I’ll get to that in a bit. The second thing of note here is that we learn the entire statement was done off the record, meaning that, on a sentiment shared by Jon, Gertrude did not trust the institute. And honestly, who can really blame her? I’ve already explained why I think the archives are home to some eldritch eye monster, and I get the feeling she knew that as well. Still though, considering she had a lack of faith in the institute for at least 17 years given the time between this recording and her death, I really have to wonder what she did with this mistrust? On top of that, it might add even more to the idea Elias killed her. After all, it would be in character for the head of the institute to do so if she threatened its foundation…although if he did kill her, I still think there might have been a bit more reason to do so. Anyways, it’s just really interesting to know she figured out something was wrong with this place, and I am…very concerned by what that something might be. Anyways, after bringing up some real world history, Gertrude says something…very interesting. And I’m not talking about the accounts that describe people being tortured or sacrificed in worship of pagan deities, even though that’s interesting for admittedly obvious reasons. I’m talking about the part where she says that an unnamed historian claimed that the ones who destroyed The Serapeum were not Christians…but a group known as “Those Who Sing The Night.” And if that doesn’t evoke The People’s Church of The Divine Host, I don’t know what does. Obviously night makes sense as a motif, as does singing, since Natalie did a lot of creepy singing in Episode 25. But on top of that, Walter’s torch went out for mysterious reasons while he was in the caverns, and you know how the church’s symbol is a closed eye? Well, that seems to signify a potential rivalry between the darkness and the eye horrors, which would explain why “Those Who Sing The Night” would destroy The Serapeum, and why Walter was able to see in the supposedly paranormal darkness. The eyes were combating the power of the darkness, since they are the only things that can “see in the dark.” Still though, their potential presence here is interesting for another reason. Maxwell Rayner is old, but not THAT old, so there’s a very real possibility that the church has been reforged time and time again. Rayner isn’t the true founder, just the founder of the church’s modern iteration. Hell, maybe he isn’t actually in charge anymore, since the church supposedly disbanded in 1994, although I still think there’s a possibility that was a cover-up. Gertrude also makes a strange sound after mentioning this group, which signifies familiarity to me. I feel this makes sense, due to the screams coming from Hither Green Chapel on the day she died. Finally, Gertrude suggests that The Order of St. John might have been hunting down ✨the horrors✨, and that maybe the robed figure was a previous archivist. ….If it really is Micheal I’m going to cut out my tongue.

And finally, we have Jon’s supplemental. I’m just going to start out by saying that OH MY GOD MARTIN IS THE SWEETEST MAN ALIVE. He’s so genuinely attentive and caring to Jon it’s just so…UGH! I think everyone just needs someone like him around he’s way too nice. And as always, Jon SERIOUSLY needs to get his shit together. Not only should he take better care of himself, but…come on man, do you seriously think people will believe you stabbed yourself with the bread knife when there are ELDRITCH HORRORS around? (Although I have seen people suggest Martin thought he was self harming, and if that is the case then consider my heart broken.) But anyways, Jon’s existential crisis continues. Look, I’m concerned about Gertrude’s fate as well, I’m concerned about how the archivists might date back to at least…let’s see…One Thousand, Six Hundred and Thirty-Two years ago?! Damn. But…you seriously need a nap Jon. But outside of Jon’s ordeal…we have one last reveal (hey that kind of rhymed). So…apparently, six months after the recording of the statement, an explosion happened near the caves in Alexandria that destroyed several buildings and killed seventeen people. And from the looks of things…that explosion happened because of Gertrude Robinson. …wait what. what. I-I’m sorry. WHAT?! Damn, I guess she really WAS proactive. Look, I’ll be honest and say that I already got the feeling Gertrude wasn’t my just a sweet old grandma. Firstly, her name is the most mean old lady name I’ve ever heard, and secondly, she’s appeared in multiple statements, seemingly having pissed off at least two different cults. But like…did she really have to go that far?! I know that there’s some horrific shit going on in there, but like, a guy find the remains of THE LIBRARY OF FREAKING ALEXANDRIA, and she just BLOWS IT UP? Like, as time goes on, it’s become much more clear that Gertrude wasn’t a bad archivist, she clearly took her job…maybe a bit TOO seriously, and I definitely think her poor organization of statements was done on purpose, either to get her successor to read the ones that were important, or to fuck with the institute she so clearly mistrusted. But…can I really call her a good academic when she decided to destroy knowledge THAT valuable. Shame on you, you beautiful anarchist of a senior citizen. Also, I cannot get over the fact that she was SO eager to get rid of something that, for all we know, might also have a home in the institute, that she travelled all the way from London to Alexandria, and KILLED 17 PEOPLE. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST. I…desperately need to know more about her, if I don’t know everything she’s capable of I will start fearing for my safety. Jon WISHES he could be her. And you know what, if Elias did kill her…I can totally see why! He might have not just been protecting himself, the institute and those close to him, he could’ve very well been protecting THE ENTIRE WORLD. Hell, it doesn’t matter who killed her (ok I mean it still does but like you get what I mean), because that sentiment remains true for EVERYONE. Is…is she the true threat of the series? Should I somehow be more concerned. …I don’t even know at this point. Anyways…great episode, loved the protagonist, the implications are amazing, Martin is the purest man to ever grace god’s green abominable earth…but I really need to take a second and contemplate. I’m afraid there might be a Gertrude under my bed…

- Episode 54, Still Life 🐅

Statement of Alexander Scaplehorn, regarding his evaluation of The Trophy Room taxidermists in Barnet.

ANGLERFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISH!!!! THE PLOT THICKENS YET AGAIN! So, after having to recoil from last episode, you know, what with the eye horrors and the old archives and Gertrude killing people, etc etc, it was nice to have a shorter episode here. That being said, WOW did this one give me some things to think about. Just…the amount of connections that are showing up…this podcast, especially this season, has never ceased to surprise me with what it’s capable of. The protagonist, atmosphere and pacing already made this a great episode on its own, and the callbacks to the earliest season 1 episodes made it even better. So, let’s just get into it! (Oh and, this isn’t really relevant but I might as well put it here. …TAX collector. TAXidermy. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. Ha ha. Ha. Comedy.)

So, I’ll start off with some of the basic things. Firstly, I have to mention that I really, REALLY enjoyed Alexander Scaplehorn as a protagonist. Like, we STAN a king who simply does his job and otherwise minds his own business. Literally went through the horrors and then just went back to living as normal, what a champion. Honestly, this is probably the most sympathetic portrayal of a tax collector I’ve ever witnessed in a piece of media, and I’m surprisingly not upset about that. Also, some other people have pointed this out, but I think it needs to be said just in case. This man is excited to infodump on some guy he just met about taxes, is fine doing so as long as he’s attentive, immediately notices how uncomfortable the atmosphere is, struggles making conversation, is simply trying to get through his day without trouble…and then goes on to say he has a cousin with autism. I think someone needs to tell him something about himself…and that’s all I’m going to say. (Also jsyk this is coming from an autistic person who experiences all of this, so I’m not trying to make stereotypical assumptions or anything.) …Anyways, outside of the second most legendary protagonist after Joshua Gillespie, I’ve gotta say that I really liked the whole atmosphere of this episode. Taxidermy, while admittedly kind of freaky, is something that I’ve always been a little bit drawn to ever since I learned about it just due to the vibes alone (unless it’s of a cat, if it’s of a cat I cry), so I really liked the whole vibe of an old taxidermy shop. And like…I get why some might be freaked out by it, but I’d be lying if I said the idea of someone owning some of the world’s oldest skin didn’t kind of entice me, that’s just a pretty cool thing to own. One other small note I have, although it’s not from the statement, was Jon’s line here. “I may not entirely trust my assistants, but…I won’t lose them.” …. :(. Anyways…moving on to ✨the connections✨…(who’s going to tell him…)

Ok, so, the first obvious connection to a previous episode comes from when Alexander first enters The Trophy Room. (which by the way, is apparently the name of a real world taxidermy shop, but only in the US.) Here, Alex sees a stuffed tiger in the window with glassy eyes. As soon as I heard this, I immediately thought back to Tightrope, where this same tiger made an appearance. Not only does this connect the episode’s plot to The Other Circus, which I’ll get more into later, but from both episodes, we can tell that this tiger isn’t exactly….real (although the skin might still be), but it’s definitely capable of “coming to life.” Definitely seems like this applies to the other taxidermies as well, and based on Tightrope, as well as other parts of this episode, I really do think that The Other Circus is Daniel’s supplier for the taxidermy, or at least part of the circus. And speaking of which, we have Daniel Rawlings. Now, much like Sarah Baldwin from Skintight, Daniel Rawlings was mentioned in Episode 1 as one of the people taken by The Anglerfish, and he too seems to now be an avid smoker with a connection to the monster. Along with this, both of them have a very apparent connection to skin which is…interesting. And obviously, The Anglerfish itself is here as well, hooray!(?) Not too much to say about its appearance here, other than that Alex was probably smart to have not went down to the basement in the end, and that I found it interesting how it was repeating a different phrase than what it did in the first episode. I think it’s fair to assume that The Anglerfish changes the phrase it uses to lure people depending on its location. It asks for a cigarette while in the alleyway, and acts as a shop clerk while in The Trophy Room. I think that’s why Alex says it was almost mechanical in its speech, because the things it says are like auto-generated phrases made for specific circumstances. And the final overt connection to previous episodes was the return of everyone’s favorite delivery…somethings, Breekon and Hope. I’m honestly kind of surprised by how frequently they show up, but I’m not complaining. I was also reminded by the last episode with how all of the taxidermies looked at Alex, but I’m not sure if that genuinely means anything or not, especially since the eyes were all glassy, signifying a lack of pupils to properly look at someone with. So, that’s a basic assortment of recurring characters and concepts, but with all of that in mind, how does everything connect?

Let’s start off with Breekon and Hope, as well as The Other Circus. These two already have a very apparent connection, as Breekon and Hope were seen as members of the circus in Tightrope. Now, when I gave my thoughts on that episode, I suggested that these two left The Other Circus and started their own business, and while I still think that’s the case, I think that they might have less of an antagonistic relationship than I initially thought. Granted, it’s possible they stole The Other Circus’ taxidermies, and they’re giving them to Daniel in order to keep them hidden, but I kind of think that, while now separate, their delivery company is still on good terms with The Circus, or maybe a straight up offshoot of The Circus, and that’s because of…motivations. You see, the more I think about it, I realize that Sarah and Daniel seem to spread fear in a very similar way to that of the circus. You see, Sarah and Daniel never hurt the protagonists of the story, they just…unnerved them. Sarah pulled her skin off in front of Melanie King, and Daniel made the taxidermy move in front of Alex, but they never really tried to kill them. Daniel…might have been trying to, but given how neither he nor Breekon and Hope bothered to give chase, I don’t really think he was that dead-set on murder. And then take a look at The Other Circus. Now yes, Leanne Denikin’s ex-boyfriend died because of the calliope, but granted, no actual member of the circus played it themselves in that scenario, and when Nikolai Denikin, an actual member, did, no one was seen dead. And yes, Yuri Utkin’s brother Ivan did die at one point, but there’s no real evidence that his death was caused by The Other Circus. When we look at what the circus actually did…they just scared people, nothing more. So you have these two groups with very similar methods of scaring people, and…I don’t know, it makes me think that The Other Circus and servants of The Anglerfish might be chill with each other, and that might in turn mean that Breekon and Hope maintain some form of a positive relationship with the circus, even if they aren’t direct members anymore. But…that all gets me thinking even more. You see, on my list of ✨the horrors✨ I cited two of them as “The Anglerfish” and “Whatever The Other Circus serves”. But now I’m wondering…what if The Other Circus serves The Anglerfish? They have this apparent connection now so…maybe. I still need quite a bit more time to wrap my head around this idea, but like think about it for a second. The Anglerfish HAS servants, and The Other Circus acts in a similar way to how they do, functioning with things like fake audiences, dolls and taxidermies…it just feels like it connects in some sort of way. But then again, as time goes on, it kind of feels like The Anglerfish is struggling to live up to levels of eldritch that the other members of ✨the horrrors✨ are, so what if it isn’t a horror at all, and something a bit lesser? WHAT IF- Ok. Ok I’m getting a little bit incoherent with my thought process now. Look, the cut and dry is that I definitely think The Other Circus, Breekon and Hope, and The Anglerfish and it’s servants have some sort of connection, due to them all playing into this episode, and the fact that they all have similar themes, and that they’ll all end up coming together at some point or another. This statement is really good and a lot of fun on its own, but…it certainly has given me a lot to think about, even if it’s not in the most coherent way. But of course, I can’t just stop here. Because we have a follow-up and a supplemental to get through and…well, it’s…certainly pretty interesting…

So, I already mentioned that…absolutely gut-wrenching line from Jon, but that’s obviously not everything there is to talk about here. Firstly, Jon mentions that The Trophy Room is still in operation. There isn’t all that much to say about this, other than that it’s…concerning to know that whatever weird operation this trifecta of factions seems to be a part of is still continuing. But that aside, what really gets me here is the involvement of our beloved little freak, Not!Sasha. Now, I think it’s safe to say that she’s obviously lying about how there wasn’t anything all that strange there (which Jon should REALLY catch onto soon), but as unnerving as that is, it’s also pretty in character and expected of her. What’s a bit more intriguing here though is how…eager she was to investigate. The most simple reason I can think of as to why she wanted to go check the place out was that she clearly likes wax museums, and…taxidermy stores certainly have a similar vibe. But I think there’s a bit more of a reason as to why she went to The Trophy Room…and that lies in what Jon tells us about Daniel Rawlings. You see, outside of the identical hair, the Daniel who owns The Trophy Room looks nothing like the one who went missing in 2006. Couple that with the fact that Daniel is strongly implied to be a taxidermy himself, so you know, not a real person, and I start to get thinking. What if The Anglerfish skins it’s victims, and puts them on top of non-human beings that then start pretending to be those people? What if the real Daniel Rawlings, and the real Sarah Baldwin are dead? What if “Sarah” peeling off her skin was a way of showing Melanie King her true form? What if they are somehow aligned with the anatomy students? What if these non-humans are extremely similar to the impersonator, but need a higher being to give them identies, rather than just taking one themselves? What if Not!Sasha is a direct servant of The Anglerfish, who seeks to bring harm to the institute? …I know I’m making some big claims here, but…I just feel like I might have uncovered a big mystery. I’ve thrown out the possibility of The Anglerfish maybe not being one of ✨the horrors✨, but in all honesty…I still think it is. I’m starting to wonder if maybe just maybe, all of these characters, Sarah Baldwin, Daniel Rawlings, Breekon and Hope, Not!Graham/Not!Sasha, the anatomy students, The Other Circus, and maybe even more, are all servants of The Anglerfish. All of them faceless monsters who are given new identities by their god, and seek to do its bidding by unnerving as many people as possible? At this point, I’ve basically just devolved into crack fan fiction, but I have to be honest when I say that, while I’m certain I’m far off from the truth in some aspects…I feel like I might be on to something here. In short, I think that Episode 1 is much more important than I initially thought, and that a lot, and I mean A LOT of things are going to connect back to the very first spook. …As scared as I am by Episode 53 introducing the prospect of one of ✨the horrors✨having been in the archives this entire time…I’ve gotta say…Not!Sasha is giving it some close competition. But with all of that out of the way…um, what about the supplemental?

“Supplemental: I broke into Gertrude’s flat.” OH MY GOD. That has…no right being as funny as it is. I would say “I’m afraid Jon’s hit rock bottom”, but there’s still 26 episodes left of the season, and 146 left of the entire series, so I get the feeling that his downward mental spiral is only just beginning! Yay…I-I think? Well, outside of Jon’s 16th felony of the month, what did he actually find in here. Well, not much, as from the looks of things Gertrude was a minimalist, but there were a few things worth noting. Firstly, we now know that she owned a laptop charger, meaning she…well, she obviously was in possession of a laptop at one point of another. This is intriguing if only for the fact that I feel like the series might be heading in a direction where Jon’s going to have to break into her laptop, kind of like that one part of Gravity Falls if…anyone who’s reading that has watched it. (And if you haven’t, go do that it’s really good.) Secondly, Gertrude threw away books after reading them. Since most of her books were apparently on history, I wonder if she was secretly studying ways to get rid of ✨the horrors✨, and decided to get rid of the books in an attempt to cover her tracks. And finally…the few books she did own had eyes cut out of the faces on the covers. Given what might be lurking in the archives I can’t entirely blame her…but it does make me wonder if much like Jon…she was suffering from her own paranoia. Hm. Well, that about wraps it up. Overall this episode was thoroughly enjoyable but…man, my brain has been absolutely frazzled. I’ll probably take a break tomorrow just to process everything, as there’s so many other rabbit holes I could go down if I wanted to but…I just don’t have the energy. Gertrude, the eyes, The Keay Family, Micheal, Not!Sasha, The Anglerfish, The Other Circus, Breekon and Hope, Jon, Elias….it’s all running through my head, and I need a break.

Supplemental: Ok, there are a couple of other things I should mention briefly. Firstly, I cited Breekon and Hope as servants of The Anglerfish who unnerve people…even though they don’t do it nearly as much as others. There is an explanation for this though, that being that while I think they’re still on good terms with The Other Circus, they’re still somewhat disconnected nowadays, and if the circus does honor The Anglerfish, they might not be AS devout to it as others. Even so, they DID deliver the table to the institute, so I think they still serve it in one way or another. Another thing I wanted to mention was Martin, specifically that note about him lying. I haven’t brought much attention to it since the initial reveal, but someone in the YouTube comments mentioned that Martin has a fondness for spiders…and spiders do seem to be a prominent member of ✨the horrors✨. However, that fondness for them could still be nothing, and even if it is something, it’s worth noting that the spiders are currently one of the more mysterious aspects of the story so…I’m not too sure just yet, but I thought it was interesting. Anyways, onwards to Episode 55!

- Episode 55, Pest Control 🐜

Statement of Jordan Kennedy, regarding several encounters while working in Pest Control. Statement taken direct from subject.

AND IIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOOOOOOOUUUUUUU!!!! So…it’s confirmed. Jane Prentiss is officially, indisputably dead. Her ashes are indeed with Jon…:(. Well, suffice to say, it was very nice to get an episode that kind of felt like a memorial for her, just a nice little sendoff. But despite me mourning her forever and always, WOW this episode made me giddy. It had another statement live from subject, which is always a pleasure, presented a great look at Jon’s mental state and trauma from the infestation, and also set up some extremely interesting and EXTREMELY exciting plot points for the future. Man…this season just keeps on dropping amazing episode after amazing episode. Much like Section 31, this one had a structure where is was sort of…multiple statements in one, so I think I’ll go one after another. So, that means I’m starting off with the ants! …gross.

So, before I get into the statement, I should start with the few things that come before. As mentioned earlier, the statement comes live from one Jordan Kennedy, an exterminator who helped burn Jane’s body. Now I admittedly don’t have all that much to say about Jordan as a character (and NO, it’s not just because he killed the best character), there’s just not a ton to say about him that isn’t obviously seen in the episode. However, apparently Jonny was in a band at some point, and both Jordan and Basira are voiced by other members. I just think that’s really cool, and I might have to listen to that band at some point… Anyways, the other think that stuck out to me was Jon’s mental state because…wow and yikes. Yikes as in…I don’t think he’s doing that well, but wow in the sense that I’m very happy with how they portrayed his trauma here. It’s just nice to know that despite things like Gertrude and Micheal, the podcast is still very aware that the infestation hurt him badly. I mean, it hurts to see…but it is very good writing. Well, with all of that out of the way, what do we learn from Jordan’s first statement? Well firstly, it’s nice to know that tma is still persistent in its efforts to prove that I find large amounts of insects disgusting, even when in my heart I wish I didn’t. Just….ugh, the image of all of those ants in the house makes me squirm. I will also say that the whole scenario here really did remind me of Blood Bag, so while I initially found connections between that episode and The Flesh Hive ones pretty speculative, I’m a LOT a more sure of it now. …I feel like the institute could’ve made use of that syringe in retrospect. I mean Salesa DOES give artifacts to them so…like, what the hell dude? You couldn’t have spared ONE syringe? So yeah, the ants are absolutely terrifying, I don’t like the fact that they didn’t immediately die, and…oh god, what the hell was in that fridge? (Well, you know, outside of ants.) Anyways, this could’ve just been written off as another gross as shit statement…until we’re met with the return of John Amherst, the creepy guy from Taken Ill. (Side Note: I already thought he was involved due to the description of his suit and the yellow oily residue, so getting those suspicions validated post-statement was VERY satisfying.) Anyways, Amherst’s presence here is…strange. Jon had already made comparisons between Jane’s statement and that of Nicole Baxter in MAG 36, but that was more of a reference to how the statement givers both talked about fear in similar ways. Outside of the general theme of…gross, as well as a fly landing in Amherst’s face, any other connections were interesting, yet tenuous. But now…yeah, there’s a very clear connection! Obviously both of them gave off a very similar smell, but they also care deeply for the insects that reside with them, Amherst with his ants, and Jane with her…well, they call them worms, but in retrospect I actual think they’re supposed to be Wasp Larvae, especially with the new information in this episode. I’ll still call them worms though. The major difference here though is that Jane was basically a walking corpse being piloted by her worms, while Amherst is a lot more human and in control of himself, although he is still clearly unstable given how quickly he was willing to kill Jordan…and also the fact that he seems to be making an effort to make his (former) home as disgusting as possible. Jane was also very destructive all of the time, while Amherst is clearly capable of holding back when he needs to, such as in MAG 36. So while I think these two are definitely connected, and both have probably forged connections with The Flesh Hive, said connections clearly work differently, and I’m interested to see where they go with this in the future! It’s very cool to see them delve more into the concept of regular humans who just happened to be marked by one or more of ✨the horrors✨, and as someone who loves Jane dearly, I’m very excited by the prospect of more like her, even if Amherst doesn’t quite live up to her yet, in my opinion.

There is…one other thing here in this story about Amherst that is pretty interesting though. The last major similarity between him and Jane is that they are both very weak to fire. Granted we already knew this, since C02 was used against Jane, and Trevor the Tramp and his companion seemingly set fire to Ivy Meadows, but this similarity becomes a lot more interesting when we look at the second story Jordan tells us. Oh uh…yeah, my thoughts on this story individually. Uh…yeah it was really good, super gross and I’m interested in Amherst. But anyways, the second story. Now, since Hive is still my favorite episode, I obviously REALLY liked this part. Not only because it’s a cool callback, but also because as much as I love the abstract, slam poetry-like storytelling in Hive, it does make the episode a little bit hard to follow at times, which I overall think adds to the horror, but getting a look at those events from someone who isn’t…basically dying was nice. So, the first thing here I find intriguing is the wasp’s nest in Jane’s attic. Firstly, I already thought it was responsible for what happened to her, but this just confirms it, because…ew, I don’t like this thing. It might have produced one of if not the rawest line in the entire story so far but…ew. (Also, this doesn’t connect to the wasp’s nest but I don’t know where else to put it; Jordan mentions a smashed TV in Jane’s attic, which reminds me of the episode Arachnophobia, and the spiders clearly have some sort of antagonistic relationship with The Flesh Hive so…hm…) But, here’s the more intriguing part. The wasp’s nest is described as being unnaturally spongey, and both it, Amherst and Jane are all easily flammable. (also did Amherst die there? Or do we just not know? And like, I know we like to joke about all of the Micheals, but there’s a lot of Johns as well. Ok I’m getting sidetracked.) Now, a couple of people in the YouTube comments pointed out that both of those are cited as features of vampires. And now that I think about it, isn’t it weird that Trevor Herbert, a vampire hunter, somehow knew how to deal with some sort of weird sickness that was seemingly entirely outside of his deal? Unless…the two of them are directly connected. Tma already has a pretty unique depiction of vampires, so to make them Flesh Hive people would honestly just be icing on the cake. Granted what little we’ve seen of vampires doesn’t really have many themes of disease or bugs but…I don’t know, it could work! God…I am still really befuddled by Trevor. Like, how did he survive? Was the person with him Basira’s cop friend? Ugh god I’m getting sidetracked again. Anyways, this story from Jordan is all fine and good, it’s nice to get some more context on Episode 32…but things get really interesting when we see more of Jane’s landlord, Arthur Nolan.

So, this guy was mentioned all the way back in Hive, and if I’m being honest, I…did not think much of him initially. His death in a fire seemed a little suspicious, but all things considered..I had more pressing matters on the mind after that episode. But…wow. Turns out this guy is a lot more important than I initially assumed. (Side note: As I’m writing this, I just realized I finally understand why The Flesh Hive hates the institute. It’s probably because it’s home to another one of ✨the horrors✨! Sorry, it’s just that I’m really realizing a lot of new things about my favorite episode lmao.) Obviously, Arthur Nolan has clear knowledge of the threat that The Flesh Hive poses, so much so that even though he’s a landlord (which is probably the scariest thing in the entire episode), he was willing to burn the entire building and even sacrifice himself if it meant getting rid of that wasp’s nest. Now, not only is that a testament to how fucking scary The Flesh Hive is, but…there’s some other really weird things about Arthur. He didn’t just burn down the building on a whim, because according to Jordan, his flat was extremely warm, and he had an intricate scar on his chest that looked both like a flame and a face in pain. …And all of these connections to heat and fire are just a little bit too suspicious for me to ignore. I’ve had some time to think about it, and I think Arthur Nolan was likely connected to the Sumerian demon Asag, maybe even a part of the same cult that Diego Molina was a part of, and that also seemed to be responsible for the events of Burnt Offering. The general connection to heat is one thing, but just…once again, the fact that he knew how to deal with The Flesh Hive shows a great enough understanding of ✨the horrors✨ from him. And if my classification of ✨the horrors✨ is somewhere along the lines of being correct, then that means The Flesh Hive is opposed to, and likely weak to at least three of them. Those are the eyes associated with The Keays and The Institute, the spiders, and Asag. So…yeah. That about wraps it up on the statement of Jordan Kennedy. In conclusion, Amherst and Jane are clearly connected, The Flesh Hive is weak to fire, it has some strange similarities with vampires, Arthur Nolan has…some sort of relevance, and even though Jane is dead…this story is far from over.

So, what about post-statement and the supplemental? Well, truth be told, there isn’t much here that I haven’t already gone over, outside of two things. Firstly, I found it really weird that Jon said The Flesh Hive “doesn’t seem like the sort of being that would work well with others.” In my opinion…I feel like this kind of goes against the point. Sure, Jane was a walking corpse, but the whole point of The Flesh Hive was that it was…well, a hive, a hivemind. It functioned best when together, it gave Jane a twisted sort of love and affection, its whole goal was to infect more people. (Speaking of which, I think it would’ve been cool if we had gotten to see some more worm zombies than just Jane and Timothy Hodge. Eh, maybe we still will, who knows?) So…yeah, this just comes off as a weird thing for Jon to say in my opinion. But more interestingly, as short as the supplemental was, it does reveal that JON FINALLY GOT A GOOD NIGHT’S SLEEP FUCK YEAH!!! Super happy for you king, now let’s PLEASE start making that a routine :). Also I do find it funny that the institute gets a fuck-ton of fake statements in Halloween season, that’s just perfect. Well…since I don’t have much more to say, I might as well just mention a largely unrelated theory I’ve been having while I’m here. That kind of seems to be a running theme with this part of the post. Like, this episode is great on its own, but it really does just get me thinking about other stuff. So, something in the YouTube comments I found interesting was theory about how maybe there’s a “four horsemen of the apocalypse” thing going on here. The theory suggested that The Flesh Hive is pestilence, The Piper is war, The Reapers are death, and some unknown thing is famine, and the entire series is building up to some sort of apocalypse. Now, do I believe this theory. Honestly…no. The apocalypse idea just doesn’t have a lot of evidence right now, and there are many other beings like Micheal, The Anglerfish, the spiders, etc, that are just as, if not more weird and eldritch as the ones listed here. However…it did get me thinking. I pretty much entirely forgot about The Reapers for a hot second, and the more I thought about it…they really don’t connect to any of ✨the horrors✨ I’ve listed so far. The only possible connection is one of them showed up during a war like The Piper, but that honestly seems like a MASSIVE stretch that not even I’m willing to take. And I mean, Nathaniel Thorp did kind of imply The Reapers were at the whims of a higher power… So..I’d like to add a new being to ✨the horrors✨, one I’m dubbing “The Master of The Reapers” until further notice. While shrouded in mystery, I could absolutely see this thing being one of ✨the horrors✨. Now, I’m not going to update my list, because I’m still wavering on whether or not The Anglerfish and “Whatever The Other Circus worships” are the same being. If they are the same being, then I still probably have one more horror to uncover, assuming that my number of 14 is correct. But if they’re separate…well, consider the list complete until further notice! I know this might seem out of nowhere, but honestly…I’m pretty confident about this one. I’ll just have to wait and see how close to truth I end up getting. So…yeah! That’s Pest Control. Overall it was another great episode, and I’m very satisfied with how it followed up on my favorite, and with how it sets up a potential return of The Flesh Hive in the future.

Supplemental: Doing school from home while also having terrible ADD can make things very hard when trying to pay attention during online lectures. So, I have come up with a solution:

- Episode 56, Children of the Night 🛏️

Continued statement of Trevor Herbert, regarding the latter years of his career as a vampire hunter.

OH MY GOD. LITERALLY RIGHT AFTER I TALK ABOUT HIM AT LENGTH. TREVOR. THE FUCKING. TRAMP. APOLLO HAS GRANTED ME THE GIFT OF PROPHECY. So, needless to say, I was very excited when this episode began. I mean, I’ve been wondering about Trevor’s relevance in the story for quite a while now, so obviously I’d be very interested. So with that in mind…this episode is…kind of a weird one for me? Not bad, I still have a lot of good to say about it, it’s just…I don’t know. It might be due to the fact that it’s directly continuing off of a much earlier statement, and also the fact that parts of it are intentionally emitted, but…I have scrambled thoughts about this one. I’ll get into it as I go along, but for now…just know that this is a bit of a strange one, and it’s kind of hard for me to discuss. But regardless, was the episode good? Of course! All of them have been enjoyable and this one isn’t any different! I’m always up for a direct continuation of an older statement, which this season in particular has done a great job with, it’s nice to get confirmation of Trevor’s relevance, and it adds some interesting new elements to a plot point set up in an episode that in all honesty, if it wasn’t for the reveal that all the statements are real at the end of Season 1, I could’ve interpreted as complete bullshit if I wanted to. But with all of the preamble out of the way, let’s get into it!

Firstly, I’d like to talk a little bit about Trevor’s characterization here, and how it contrasts his previous statement, because I think it’s one of my favorite parts of the episode. In Episode 10, Trevor was…a bit more of a comedic character, or at the very least a notable standout. Compared to every other statement giver before him, and maybe even everyone after him so far, all of whom were unsure about what really happened to them with varying degrees of knowledge, Trevor seemed…entirely aware of what he was up against, which made him very memorable in my eyes. But while a little bit of that homeless tramp charm is gone here, I’ve got to say, I REALLY like the contrast in this episode. Here, Trevor isn’t fighting against vampires, he’s fighting against a seemingly completely different horror, and grappling with his murder of another human, both of which make him just as lost and scared as any other statement giver, and help to insert him into the modern story. While I do miss his earlier portrayal..I have to admit, seeing a man that was once much more sure of himself now be shaken like everyone else really puts into perspective how mysterious and terrifying everything is right now, and it’s a very interesting direction that for his character that I like a whole lot, and it makes me excited to see what happens with him next. I guess I also should mention the..odd lack of vampires here as well, considering he is THE vampire guy. Admittedly, while it is a little strange for them to not really be there, I did just write out a theory on how the previous episode connects to vampires so…I don’t know, I’m fine with it. But uh..anyways, what about the things that actually happen in the statement? Well, I feel like I should start off with the structure. Now, this is obviously a direct follow up to Vampire Killer, but not in the way that, let’s say…Tightrope follows up on Strange Music, more in the way that Desecrated Host follows up on Confession. The difference here is that Desecrated Host came right after Confession, while this episode is 46 after the one that contained the first part of the same statement. At the end of the day, I was still able to get a grasp of what was going on, since I still remembered Trevor’s initial story well enough, but…it was just a bit of a shock structurally. Combined with the fact that there are still more missing parts of this statement (which can obviously be resolved in the future, but as of now it’s still a bit of an annoyance), and this episode…just kind of throws you back in after a massive break from the storyline. Usually, episodes take their time getting into things a bit better, and even when they don’t, like in Infestation for example, you still expect those episodes to be chaotic based on what’s going on at the time. Here though…I don’t know, it’s nothing beyond redemption but…it just threw me off my course when I started listening. Honestly, I think a better way to handle it would’ve been to have Trevor submit a second statement entirely separate from Episode 10, since we already know that he didn’t pass away right after giving it like we thought, and it would’ve just allowed for some better flow. I know that was quite a lot of criticism, but ultimately, it’s nothing that can’t be fixed. It kind of reminds me of Episode 4. I initially found that one to be confusing as all heck, and while I still think it might just introduce a little bit too much for one episode, I’ve only grown to appreciate it more and more as I learn more about The Keays, The Leitners and Mike, and I think the same could go for this one. I plan to re-listen to tma one day, since there’s probably a lot that I’ve missed or that’ll be recontextualized, so who knows? Maybe I’ll look at this episode more fondly one day, but for now…the pacing was just a little too odd for me. Still though, if the institute can find those missing pieces and finish the statement, I think It’ll all be fine :). Ok, ENOUGH NEGATIVITY. Here’s some things that I actually liked.

Wow I got sidetracked. Ok, NOW I’m actually going to talk about what happened in the statement for real. So, while the stories here are pretty short, I think they’re actually very effective. I still kind of wish that we got to learn more about some of Trevor’s other huntings that are alluded to here, especially since the statement opens with one of those stories finishing, but I like what we got here as well, especially with the newfound unawareness in Trevor we see here. The first statement directly follows up on a minor plot point from Vampire Killer, and…wow. This was genuinely…very bleak. This is probably the only part of a statement that genuinely isn’t paranormal (at least as far as I’m concerned), and yet…it’s one of the scariest things I think this podcast has produced. Not in a shit-your-pants kind of way, it’s just…really depressing. There’s no strange explanation, no interference from ✨the horrors✨…just a sad scenario where a guy, who while not innocent did not deserve death, is murdered by a tortured soul out of said soul’s own trauma, convictions, addictions and mental state. Just…a really bleak and depressing scenario, and Trevor’s writing here really seals the deal. If you couldn’t tell, my favorite part of this episode is just Trevor in general, I already liked him a lot, but this episode really made him grow on me. Honestly…he might be one of the most terrifying statement givers so far. Not Jane levels, but…he’s just so morbidly conflicting. Because like, you UNDERSTAND him, you realize why he thought Alard was a vampire, you understand how deeply distraught he was after commuting the murder, and really do sympathize with him, and yet he still terrifies me. The way that he talks about the hunt being an addiction harder to remove than heroin, the way it becomes so clear that he’s become so traumatized and used to a life of stalking and killing monsters, that he can easily make a slip-up as grave as this…it’s just really depressing, and one of the best things about this episode by far. Ultimately, I don’t have much to theorize about here, since like I said, this doesn’t seem to be remotely paranormal, although I will say that the scars on Not!Stanley Kubrick (I know he’s not one of those things, I just think it’s funny wordplay) we’re pretty interesting. I doubt they were actually from Alard but…maybe Stanley had a chance encounter with some actual vampires. Hm.

The second story that Trevor tells us is..almost the inverse of the first one. It doesn’t have quite as much in terms of interesting character writing for him, but it does have some very interesting lore implications. Even then, I still think there’s some interesting character writing here. This was definitely the moment where Trevor’s life stopped becoming just about vampires, when he got involved with other parts of ✨the horrors✨, and it shows. Like, Jonny Sims REALLY did a great job with the delivery, even if it’s slightly less comedic than Trevor’s last appearance. It was also interesting how he talked about “things lurking in the dark”. That does feel very Divine Host core to me. (Oh btw, I’m just going to calm it The Divine Host now, because the full name is way too long lmao.) Honestly, given the name of the episode, I fully expected The Divine Host to play at least..a partial role in the story here, and yet…nothing. I mean, I know they played a role in at least one, most likely two very recent episodes but.. “Children of the Night?!” I mean, what does that rule even signify outside of “spooky monster?” Ok, I’m getting ahead of myself…what about what actually happened here? Well, I can’t really say much about Craig for the time being, due to the pitiful amount of information, but I can talk about the spider lady. This is the first time spiders have been prominent in a statement since..Hive I think, and given how I speculate spiders connect to one of ✨the horrors✨, I’m more than happy to see more of these little things, even though I did not expect it at all. But anyways, the thing that really caught my attention with this spider lady was just…how similar to Jane she was. I mean, she pulls Trevor in like the wasp’s nest tried to do with Jordan in the last episode, she’s described as being kind of greasy, gross and later hollow, and is crawling with insects! That’s literally just Diet Jane! …But that’s so weird to me. I talked at length about how I think Jane and Amherst are at the very least vampire-adjacent, but Trevor looks at this thing that is so similar to Jane, and goes out of his way to separate it from vampires as much as possible, so there’s already a hole in that theory made right after I proposed it. And secondly, the spiders are implied to have an antagonistic relationship with The Flesh Hive, what with them eating the worms and potentially forcing it to attack the institute early, so WHY DO THEY FUNCTION SO SIMILARLY?! Someone in the YouTube comments proposed that maybe the worms, spiders and ants are all against each other, and while that could explain Jon’s weird comment about how Jane and Amherst don’t seem like beings that would want to work together, it also..it just makes things so much more complicated at the moment. Because either I have to make ants their own thing (which forces me to make The Anglerfish the figure of worship for The Other Circus before I’ve even decided if that’s the route I want to go down), or I have to make all three bugs the same thing, and quite frankly, I CAN’T HANDLE THAT RIGHT NOW. …This whole podcast is one big mindfuck and I love it so much. So…yeah, this one spider lady is driving me insane, and I have no idea how Trevor is dealing with it now. And you know, on that note…I do have one more grievance.

I’m just going to add a quick disclaimer; I’m about to be so fucking petty. Look, like I’ve said a million times, I do still like this episode. In fact, as I’ve been writing this, and as I’ve been thinking more about what the episode does well, I’ve come to like it a lot more than I thought I did initially. The moral of the story is that first impressions are bullshit. But, I am basically tasking myself with documenting all of those first impressions, so here’s the thing. While I’m sure all of the strange mysteries surrounding Trevor will be solved eventually, and that all of these dumb complaints will mean nothing in the end…I was expecting a few more answers. The reveal of the reason for Trevor not dying just being that…Martin got the wrong idea was, while a completely acceptable answer in the long run, a little bit anticlimactic for me. I think I need to accept that as time goes on, there’s a very real possibility that the answers might not be as crazy as I thought (which in some cases is a good thing, holy shit I will get to that when I talk about the supplemental), and that’s ok. I just…I guess after wildly speculating about how he survived in my head for 20 episodes, I was a little disappointed. But on top of that, there was some other things I was really hoping to get answered. I was hoping for more information on how vampires function, more on that person who seemingly helped burn down Ivy Meadows, and just more on…what Trevor is doing right now. Like, what’s his goal? How far has he moved away from vampires, and onto something greater? And all of this wouldn’t be that big of a deal if Jon had bothered to question some of it himself. Like, I know I worry for him constantly digging down rabbit holes, but like, I’m doing it too, AND INSANE CONSPIRACY THEORISTS STICK TOGETHER GOD DAMNIT. But in all seriousness, I would’ve just liked him to speculate a bit more here, especially considering that it was him who revealed the identity of the old guy in Episode 36, not the actual statement giver. But like I said, please just understand that all of this is very nitpicky , and going on the assumption that most of these plot points get answers down the line, these complaints will likely be irrelevant one day. Also understand that I would not be bitching this much about something I don’t absolutely love, I do NOT have the mental stamina or the time to be a genuine hater. Even if I was initially a little bit disappointed by the lack of answers, and even if this isn’t my favorite episode in the season, it was still very good, which I’ve determined is the usual minimum quality for this podcast. While I hope to see some more answers in the future, this was still a worthwhile episode, and it gets me excited for what’s to come. Still a great time :).

But you know what, the statement could’ve been utter garbage and I’d still hold the episode in high regards due to the supplemental. Holy shit. Holy shit you guys. I’m not even breathing I’m hyperventilating at this point. So..Jon…man….I think it’s time for your sedation 💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉💉 I…I don’t think this twink is doing too well everyone. Ugh, and this happens right after the episode where we get confirmation of a good night’s sleep for this “man”. This is by far the most unhinged he has ever been, and while I kind of love that..I am also terrified by it. Once again, I have to give serious props to Jonathan Sims (real life) for his deliveries, because HOLY FUCK HIS POOR VOCAL CORDS. The fact that a simple misunderstanding, one that occurred MONTHS before…not even this, but the fucking Prentiss attack, can drive him so far over the edge is NOT. A GOOD. SIGN. I’m coming to love unhinged Jon, and the sheer furious energy of this scene only makes me love him more, but POOR MARTIN. Like, this guy is the only person in this show I can look at and be fully confident he has done nothing wrong, and yet HE has to suffer being yelled at by his loser crush. And he handles it so well too it’s just UGH I LOVE HIM SO MUCH HE’S THE SWEETEST GUY AND I WANT ALL THE GOOD THINGS FOR HIM. He’s willing to expose his greatest secret to calm down Jon in a moment of emotional distress and, you know, if it wasn’t for all of the other shit that needs to be sorted, I would have Jon and Martin kiss right now. If there are plushies of them out there, please let me know, I would like to mash their faces together, and then tuck Martin into bed while I defenestrate Jon. Oh, and mentioning his secret…oh my god. 14 episodes of buildup, wondering what big secret Martin had…and this is the answer. I never expected him to be evil or anything, but I did expect the reveal to be pretty big and shocking…but no. He just…he just lied on his résumé. That. Is. ….peak comedy. Absolutely hilarious, ten out of ten. I am never going to forget this until the day I die. What an absolute icon of academia. He drops out of High School (Bri’ish) to support his mom, lies about PARAPSYCHOLOGY of all things on his résumé, and then some random stoner guy just recruits him, and the next thing he knows he is being hunted down by worms. He is the silliest guy known to man oh my god. This might just be the best example of a purposefully anticlimactic reveal I’ve ever seen, and that is saying something. And OH MY GOD IT MADE JON HAPPY! FUCKING YES! Now, I would say that I think this will help repair Jon and Martin’s relationship, and that Jon will finally calm down. The only problem is that I don’t actually think that, but…it’s progress. So, yeah, amazing supplemental, probably my favorite. Goodnight Tumblr, I hope you have dreams of squeezing Jon like a squeaky toy. :)

Supplemental: call me micheal the way i lure people into liminal spaces with my charm

- Episode 57, Personal Space 🔒

Statement of Carter Chilcott, regarding his time spent in isolation aboard the Space Station Daedalus in September 2007.

Everyone seems to say that you will eventually find an episode of tma that targets you specifically. I don’t really want to give a definitive answer as to what that episode is until I’m finished, but for now…this is absolutely that episode. Holy. Shit. What sins have I committed that warrant experiencing those 21 minutes of raw, unbridled fear? What does Rusty Quill have against me? And why is it that despite how fucking shaken I am, this is absolutely one of my favorite episodes in the entire series? Like, IT HAS NO RIGHT BEING THIS GOOD AFTER WHAT IT JUST DID TO ME. Wow…I’m still processing what I just witnessed. From the moment this episode started, I knew I was in for an experience, and while the plot is fairly simple without a whole lot of moving parts…that just makes it all the more terrifying and brilliant. I…have thoughts on this episode. Boy oh boy, do I have some thoughts. So…let’s just get into it as I try not to scream. Actually, I shouldn’t have to worry about that now that I think about it. After all, no one can hear you scream in space :,).

So the episode starts, and I’m already scared shitless. Usually there’s a bit more of a slow build towards the horror, but NOT HERE. They just threw me right in, and it was horrifying all throughout, yippee! Granted though, I haven’t really felt that since…Burnt Offering, I guess, but the feeling hasn’t been this strong since Hive so…yeah you can probably see why I love this episode so much. Carter’s speech at the beginning…haunted me. Thinking about how tiny and insignificant we are in the grand scheme of the universe is already pretty terrifying to me, but I at least find a little bit of comfort in the idea that we aren’t the only living things out there, that there’s more than just black void out in space. So to have Carter, this man who has seen the horrors of space firsthand immediately refute this idea with such conviction, while still standing by the idea that we are so finite…damn. So already, the episode is off to a great start, but what about the rest of it? Well, a lot of my more in depth thoughts only really come out when you consider what’s revealed to post-statement, so for now I’ll just talk about some neat and terrifying aspects of the episode that I found notable. Firstly, there’s some pretty clever imagery here with the names of certain things. Most people probably know the name of the space station, “Daedalus” as the name the father of Icarus from Greek myth. You know, that guy who knew jack shit about how heat works? Well, Daedalus was also the guy who built the labyrinth, which was notably used to imprison and isolate certain people and monsters. These references to isolation continue with Carter watching “28 Days Later”, a film that deals with such a topic. Just thought those were some cool references. But, on the note of the name Daedalus, I did find it a little bit interesting that one of Carter’s hallucinations was that of the door opening. It’s probably a stretch, but…given how Micheal’s backrooms were kind of reminiscent of the labyrinth, I do wonder if there’s a connection there…hm. But anyways! What about all of the terrifying stuff? Well, I don’t have that much to say about the spacesuit, as I honestly have…no idea what that was supposed to mean, outside of providing false hope of seeing another person, but…everything else was freaky as shit. The earth being gone, the cameras being cut…and the message on the lock. Holy fuck. That will haunt me in my nightmares. “NO ONE IS COMING” is the new “Take her not me”. …I don’t know if the code in the safe has any significance though. And like…can I just talk about how tragic and traumatized of a character Carter is? Like it still amazes me that this show can make episodes about people nailing meat to their walls, and then make THIS, AND BOTH OF THEM STILL WORK REGARDLESS. Just…the fact that this guy was putting in all that effort to get prepared for the experiment, STILL experienced all of that psychological torture, and tried to kill himself in order to get out of what he genuinely considered to be hell (that part also haunted me)…what a poor soul. Honestly my only complaint with this episode was that we never got to learn if Carter was ok or not. I NEED him to be ok. So…yeah, that’s just an assortment of notable observations and things that scared me. But with all of that out of the way, it’s time I talk about the bigger implications. At the end of the episode, we learn that the Daedalus operation was being run by The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family, and at the very least had some involvement from The Divine Host. And..I certainly have some thoughts about this.

I’ll start off by covering The Fairchilds, as they’re probably the least I have to say about in this scenario. Firstly, I do love that the two big rich eldritch horror families are working together, I think that’s pretty funny, but secondly…yeah, their involvement here just makes sense. I don’t have much more to say about it. I mean, it seems like the family definitely serves the being called The Vast, and given that we are in the VAST void of space, it makes perfect sense for them to be involved here, since such an experiment allows them to throw people into an endless void without even having to use cosmic powers, and we already knew that they worked in aerospace so…yeah, it’s not a surprise to know that they were involved. If I had to guess, I’d assume they were responsible for the empty space suit and the earth, sun and moon disappearing, since both of those deal with some sort of emptiness. Outside of that, all we really learn is that they have a collaboration with The Lukas Family, which is pretty interesting. (Side Note, this episode is currently battling with Literary Heights when it comes to what my current favorite episode of the season is, so…yeah, The Vast does good work.) But mentioning The Lukas Family, what about them? Well, to my understanding, they have the biggest involvement in the experiment. I mean, I think The Fairchilds probably did the most when it came to developing Daedalus itself, but the experiment itself was probably manned by The Lukas Family. We already know they have a habit of isolating people, as show in the other two episodes they’ve been involved in, and obviously the experiment was being manned by Conrad Lukas. (Side note: Considering his mention here, as well as the fact he owns the company that the crew of The Tundra works for, I assume that Nathaniel Lukas is likely the “ruler” of The Lukas Family, and if it’s a Manson-esque cult like I think it might be based on vibes, then he would be the cult leader.) So yeah, I definitely think this episode’s threats are mostly provided by The Lukas Family, which includes things like the lock, the clock stopping, Carter’s weird dreams (which are of graveyards and an open sea, both of which relate to one of the previous Lukas episodes each), and…potentially the cutting of the camera, although that could go multiple ways. So yeah, this episode doesn’t give us that much new information on The Lukas Family, but it does still show us a new member, provides a connection to The Fairchilds, and also shows another strange action of theirs, which is more than enough. But before I get on to the final group, I have a couple of other things I want to briefly discuss. Those things are the food, and the other crew members.

Now, I don’t exactly know what group or power was responsible for infinitely restocking the food, but I think I might have a hunch as to what the food was doing. It’s implied that when Carter nearly starved himself to death, his colleagues took him back to Earth before he died, but I have to wonder if that’s not the case. You see, so much of what happened to Carter…shouldn’t be possible. Obviously The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family set some things up, and can make paranormal things happen, but as far as we’re concerned, none of them were actually onboard so…how would you get all of this weird stuff to happen when there’s no one who can make it happen. Well…there might be an answer to this. Some other people also pointed out something similar in the YouTube comments but…I have to wonder if Daedalus was just a simulation. I know that is a bold claim, but think about it. In a simulation, anything as illogical as what happened on the station could happen perfectly fine, without needing a Fairchild or Lukas on board. So maybe…the food was keeping Carter inside the simulation, and when he stopped eating he simply woke up. It’s still entirely possible that he did starve himself, and that he really was in space, and that his colleagues did bring him back down…but I really like the simulation idea. It makes the whole thing even more tragic and terrifying, because it would mean that Carter never even got to go to space in the first place…which admittedly might be a blessing for him nowadays, but still. And then we have the matter of the the other two astronauts. There’s two possibilities when it comes to what role they play here. The simplest answer is to assume that they were just there in case of emergency, maybe also there to make Carter’s despair greater, since he KNEW there were others outside his confinement. But the thing is, they apparently were also there to do their own experiments, and while that could be a lie…I have to wonder. You see, there’s likely three factions, each serving one of ✨the horrors✨, in charge of the Daedalus operation, yet Carter’s experiment has a clear bias towards The Lukas Family and their desire to isolate. So, what if the other two astronauts were being put through their own torture experiments by The Fairchilds and The Divine Host respectively? And if Daedalus is actually just a simulation…what if they’re still in there? I mean, Carter never ACTUALLY saw them, so…I genuinely do not know. This idea can go either ways, and both of them make me squirm with fear. But with all of those theories out of the way, we have but one more thing to talk about, that being The Divine Host.

So, The Divine Host isn’t actually mentioned by name here, but they absolutely have some level of involvement with what’s going on. This is because Optic Solutions Ltd., the company that provided the cameras, are stationed in Ny-Ålesund. Ny-Ålesund was mentioned in Growing Dark, an episode that VERY clearly featured The Divine Host (or whatever it’s called nowadays), and was listed as the coldest place in the world where the nights are longest. Natalie Ennis kind of implied that the church was going somewhere, so I suspect that Ny-Ålesund is where they’re stationed nowadays…likely to do something very bad. Now, it’s entirely possible that The Divine Host’s involvement here is the same as that of The Fairchilds and The Lukas Family. They’ve launched people into space or a simulation, and want to do some freaky experiments. That makes perfect sense, and I’d assume they’re responsible for…well, obviously the cameras, but probably the 20 minute blackout as well. However…I have to wonder if their involvement was a little bit more antagonistic. Obviously they were involved in the experiment but…maybe not in the same way as the other two groups. You see, I just find it weird that The Divine Host would go out of its way to set up a camera, and then secretly cut the wires to make Carter feel more isolated, not only because that’s kind of elaborate and unnecessary, but also because the isolation is more of a Lukas Family thing. Sure, it could pray on the fear of being alone in the dark but…I don’t know, it’s weird. And mentioning that, outside of the darkness of space, The Divine Host seems to have the least reason to be involved this experiment. Hell, even when the earth, sun and moon disappeared, there were still shining stars visible. So I’m just think that while the idea that they’re working alongside the other two groups makes sense, it’s also possible that maybe…maybe they were trying to sabotage the experiment. Maybe they set up the camera in an attempt to lessen Carter’s isolation, but it was later cut by The Lukas Family. Maybe the blackout was a result of them trying to cut the experiment short. And this makes more sense when you consider the fact that even though The Magnus Institute isn’t really involved with this experiment, The Lukas Family, who is, is a strong ally of the institute. And assuming that the institute connects to the eye monster in Alexandria, and that the Divine Host opposes that monster due to their closed eye symbol…then they’d have every reason to go after a faction that allies itself with their enemy. And OH MY GOD, I just remembered that someone in the YouTube comments pointed out that maybe The Divine Host killed Gertrude, since screams were heard coming from Hither Green Chapel on the day of her death, and as archivist for the institute she’s probably be their enemy, and…ajdjfhejhfjdjsjdjjfjdjjd. ….Ok, I’m absolutely spiraling out of control here. Simply put, I find The Divine Host’s involvement here the most interesting overall, and I think it could easily go in multiple different directions. It’s connections to The Fairchilds, The Lukas Family and likely The Magnus Institute are all very interesting, and I’m just very excited to see everything start coming together.

Wow. What an episode. This is at the very least my second favorite episode of Season 2 after Literary Heights, and it might even top that. The main character and themes of isolation and mental trauma were both relatable and absolutely terrifying for me, the connections between different factions it provides are all extremely interesting, and I really hope to see more of Daedalus in the future. As for the supplemental…well, there’s definitely quite a few things worth mentioning here. Firstly, I’ve noticed that Jon is getting a lot sloppier when it comes to hiding his activity. His meeting with Elias, as well as him admitting he doesn’t trust his assistants on a main recording once was already something, but this is just reckless and…I’m very concerned by that. Secondly, his dialogue here implies a future statement regarding Hill Top Road and the children who lived in that house, which is super exciting! Hill Top Road hasn’t shown up since Episode 19/20, and the children haven’t been mentioned since Episode 8. It’s a very interesting part of the lore to me, and hopefully I’ll learn more about what happened to all the kids living there soon enough. But while that’s all intriguing…we then have Not!Sasha. Firstly…it is CERTAINLY interesting that she asked Jon not to record their conversations. Why is that? Hm? Is it because the audio is weird? CARE TO ELABORATE?! As for the items in her desk, well, the ripped paper could be anything, from scrap to actual torn apart documents (I’m implied to believe the latter, unfortunately), and as for her boyfriend…well there’s a few possible explanations for that. Tom, if that is his “real” name, is described as looking like a stock photo. I hope he too is some sort of monster, but it’s also possible he’s like…a wax figure or something, or maybe Not!Sasha is just editing herself into stock photos, idk. Either way…her behavior is as concerning as ever. So yeah…that sure was an episode. …I’m going to go curl up into a hall now, I think I’ve been a bit too scared today…

Supplemental: Regarding the idea of The Divine Host killing Gertrude, it does seem a little bit obvious, and I’m still most suspicious of Elias, but I will admit that it’s a pretty compelling argument and it makes me suspicious.

- Episode 58, Trail Rations🍴

Unsigned statement regarding potential cannibalism while attempting to travel the Oregon Trail.

…That was nothing like the Starkid musical :(. No lobsters whatsoever. Ok, self indulgent jokes aside, this was a pretty decent one. I don’t have TOO much to say about it, (which is fine given how much I’ve been saying about recent episodes), but I still thought it was a pretty good…if pretty disgusting episode. It definitely has one of the best and most unique framing devices so far, an interesting protagonist and plot line, and a couple of potential connections to other episodes as well. Unfortunately though…my thoughts are just kind of simple, so my commentary will be noticeably more brief than usual. But, with all of that out of the way, let’s talk about yet another episode that displays a normal life in America!

Starting off, I have to say that one of my favorite aspects of this episode is by far the general premise. If you’ve had a U.S. education, then you’ve inevitably read at least a couple of excerpts from Oregon Trail journals, (and also probably played the game based on them, which is a certified classic), so you would therefore know that they are historically freaky as shit. Like. GOD. The things that happen there are…yikes. So I’m very happy that they decided to make an episode based on it, since it feels like a great thing to take inspiration from. And honestly, it really does read like an actual Oregon Trail journal…just if the circumstances were even more dire. Oh god, and speaking of that writing style, what about that opening. I always love it when tma displays the psychological state of its protagonists, and the opening did a really great job doing so. Anyways, what about the statement itself? Well, another thing I really liked about it was the protagonist, Mrs. Carlisle. It’s always a pleasure to have a genuinely intelligent protagonist in any horror story (hence why we stan Joshua Gillespie) and I really liked how she was portrayed as the smartest person in the story, as I feel that’s an unfortunate rarity among women in old-timey stories. It’s just a shame that she was too late to save her husband, I honestly felt really bad for her. As for the rest…well, I thought Eustace Wick was a pretty intimidating, if kind of fun antagonist, and the part where Benjamin tells his wife to eat him after death…yikes. That was…certainly morbid. Lastly, I did really like the ambiguity on Mrs. Carlisle’s fate, while it seems unlikely it does give me hope she survived, and I do have other reasons to believe that which I’ll get into in a second. And…yeah! That’s about it for my general thoughts on the episode. It’s just a very brutal and sad tale about one of the most brutal and sad journeys in U.S. history, with a great framing device and protagonist. I like it! But, there are definitely some notable connections to previous episodes, so I’ll make sure to go over that.

So, starting off, I definitely think that this episode connects to the member of ✨the horrors✨ with a relation to bones and meat, and that Eustace Wick is a servant of it. Granted, he doesn’t display supernatural abilities like The Boneturner, but his prayer towards meat instead of Jesus makes me think he definitely serves this being, and that cannibalism is a part of the process. But that prayer actually adds a new element to this body horror thing, that being an…oddly religious one. This whole religious aesthetic is very present throughout the entire episode, and I find it pretty interesting. Granted, there are multiple cults that seemingly serve different powers, but none of them really take much from real-world religions as far as I’m concerned, outside of Asag being a Sumerian demon. This however…is very overtly Christian in its aesthetic, and I just find that kind of interesting. It also REALLY reminds me of Confession and Desecrated Host. These episodes are among the few that prominently feature Christianity so far, and if you recall, Edwin Burroughs ends up committing cannibalism after having his mind plagued by ✨the horrors✨. It does make me wonder if maybe the college students he ate also compelled him to, at least through his point of view, but unlike Mrs. Carlisle he actually gave in. The only problem is that I think he was being plagued by Asag, due to the amount of heat in Hill Top Road, and I’d be surprised in Asag and the body horror thing are the same. Then again, it’s possible Edwin was subjected to multiple members of ✨the horrors✨, since there was an eye in the window of the church he saw, he walked through a twisted version of his home like Antonio Blake, and the whole thing was seemingly influenced by Breekon and Hope, who are seemingly most allied with The Other Circus, not Asag, so…I don’t know, I could definitely see there being a connection here with religious cannibalism. Another connection that everyone and their mother has pointed out is the last name of our protagonist and her husband, that being “Carlisle”. This is notable as we have already heard that name via Toby Carlisle, who conveniently also showed up in the 18th episode of a season, and had connections to meat. So, I am definitely of the impression that Toby Carlisle is a descendant of our protagonist, which is why I suspect she might have actually survived and made her way to Oregon in the end, but I guess only time will tell if that’s the case. But if that’s the case, then it makes me believe that whatever Eustace was working with…followed her even after she let the cave, and might have continued to haunt her family centuries down the line. The main question posed by Jon in The Man Upstairs was where Toby got the meat…and nowadays, I definitely think that the meat…got him. And lastly, we have what is probably the biggest point of interest here, that being…why in the hell is this journal even here. Mrs. Carlisle never submitted a statement to The Magnus Institute, and yet it is still here within the archives. So…what the fuck. This means that Jonah Magnus, or maybe someone working for him, went out of their way to go to some random cave in Idaho or whatever, and retrieve this journal that, by all means, might not even be paranormal at a first glance. Obviously what happened was terrifying, but Eustace could’ve just been some random psychopath, and Benjamin telling his wife to eat him could’ve easily been written off as hallucinations derived from starvation, fatigue or trauma. We only know it’s paranormal because Jon has to record it on tape, meaning it is very real and important. But like…what the fuck was going on with Jonah? Why and how did he find this single journal inside of some guy’s corpse? Why was it so important? WHAT DID HE KNOW AND WHAT WAS HIS PROBLEM?! God…I’ve got nothing against overworked Victorian men that possess potentially homosexual relationships with their correspondences, but you are all so annoying god bless.

Well…that was a short one. Yeah…I do quite like this episode as a fun individual tale, but I just don’t have much to say about it that isn’t already blatantly obvious. Still though, I’m glad I was able to glean the information I was able to, and it definitely does bring up some interesting revelations about Jonah and the meat. As for the supplemental…oh thank god they’ve suggested therapy. I mean, it’s a shame it hasn’t exactly worked, but I’m glad I’m not alone in thinking that. Also, I now just feel really shitty for kind of forgetting about Tim. Granted, it’s hard to when you’re listening to what’s going on with Jon all the time, but…yeah, Tim also got pretty fucked up, didn’t he! AND THE FACT THAT HIM WORRYING MAKES JON MORE SUSPICIOUS GRRRRR. Either way, I’m glad that him and Martin are trying to do something to help him…I still think knocking him out with a brick would be a good idea but that might just be me. And on one final note…I-I still can’t get over the fact that revealing he lied on his résumé was what Martin needed to make Jon trust him. That is…possibly the funniest workplace scenario I’ve ever heard. Recording ends or whatever.

Supplemental: I said this one was exceptionally short, but then I looked back at my first of these posts and…yeah nevermind I’m actually pretty satisfied with the length here. Me three months ago was a little coward who couldn’t be bothered to write anything meaningful down lmao. …Or maybe I was just a lot more sane I don’t know.

- Episode 59, Recluse 🍏

Statement of Ronald Sinclair, regarding his years spent in a teenage halfway house on Hill Top Road, Oxford.

HOLY FUCK. HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLY FUCK. I. WHAT. I’M GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE I AM AT MY FUCKING LIMIT WHAT THE FUCK. Hold on, I should stop using the devil’s tongue, lest Raymond Fielding throw me to the spiders. I…I am not ok. This episode…did so much. It gave so many answers but also SO many questions, validated one of my earliest theories, and…well it’s just making me spiral out of control. It was absolutely fantastic all things considered, but…oh my god. I’m pretty proud of myself for keeping up with things up until this point, but…am I even going to be able to do that anymore? Is this some kind of sick joke being played by god to punish me for my hubris, where he sends me into the never ending chasm of knowledge as I search for the answers at the bottom that doesn’t exist? ANSWER ME YOU SICK BASTARD. So…I’m happy we got another Hill Top Road statement! Definitely a very interesting part of the lore to me but…wow that’s a lot of lore. Unfortunately, I was being an inconclusive little coward when I wrote my “thoughts” on the other Hill Top Road statements, so before I get into the events of this episode and the truckload of implications it provides, I’m going to a brief overview of what’s currently known about this house and it’s history, as it’s very important to understanding what happens here. So…let’s start with a brief recap. May god have mercy on my mind. …How dare Jonny jumpscare me after the Oregon Trail cannibalism episode.

So, what did we know about Hill Top Road before this episode? Well, the house was bought by Walter Fielding in 1891, inherited by Alfred Fielding in 1924 and then inherited again by Raymond Fielding in 1957. Raymond was a devout churchgoer who used the house as a place where teenage runaways and young people with mental problems could stay and be rehabilitated. At some point in time, a young girl named Agnes showed up, who some presumed to be Raymond’s actual daughter. When she showed up, more and more of the kids living there disappeared, until it was just her and Raymond when she was a young adult, with the latter saying all of the other kids had simply moved on. Eventually, Raymond disappeared, followed by a few local pets and a five-year old boy. In 1974, a week after the boy disappeared, the house burnt down, with Raymond’s corpse being found within, his hand severed. Agnes was nowhere to be found. Now, the timeline gets a little bit tricky here, since Ivo Lensik and Edwin Burroughs’s statements do not line up chronologically, seemingly due to mistakes on the writer’s part. I’m just going to go with Ivo’s statement for simplicity’s sake, so let’s just say that in 2006, Ivo Lensik started re-construction on the dilapidated house, eventually tearing down the tree in the backyard and destroying the box beneath it. He also met a man who claimed to be Raymond Fielding, who observed the tree in the backyard, before leaving the house with singes on the floor. On the same day, Edwin Burroughs seemingly reached the peak of his demonic possession and insanity, which eventually led to him cannibalizing two college students and being given two life sentences at HMP Wakefield. He also lost the ability to say words like “God” or “Jesus”, and to do prayer. According to Martin, one Agnes Montague was found to have hung herself in Sheffield on the day of Ivo tearing down the tree, with a severed hand (presumably that of Raymond Fielding) tied to her waist, seemingly having died the same day she did. However, this Agnes was aged 26, which could not have been the same age as the Agnes who lived on Hill Top Road. And I’m just going to say it right now: I think Ms. Montague is a younger relative of the Agnes on Hill Top Road, and that the reason Raymond’s hand was said to have died the day she did was because Raymond only truly died either when he left the house for one last time, or when Edwin performed an exorcism, and that man who claimed to be him was indeed a ghost. So…yeah. Quite the complicated history surrounding this place. In short, there was a creepy house with two creepy people, it burned down killing one of them, the fate of the other is up in the air although someone who at the very least has connections to her died in 2006, and now the house is dilapidated and haunted as all hell. Overall a mysterious history, but while we are still missing a lot of pieces, this episode gave a lot more insight into what was going on here. So, let’s FINALLY get into it, as well as my overall thoughts on this…absolute ride of a story.

First of all, I just want to say I’m very happy that we got this statement two episodes after it was teased, because I never want to have to bear the burden of waiting 10 episodes for Hive ever again. Anyways, going over the basics first, this episode comes from the perspective of Ronald Sinclair, one of the teenagers who stayed at the house during the 60’s. Not only does this give us a look at what Hill Top Road was like before it burned down, which is just really cool, and makes the other statements even creepier now that we know what happened, but it also made me realize…man. I hate the justice system! Like, I know that Ronald was somewhat troublesome, but that is not how you treat abused children. Actually, how did they not figure out what was going on when the children disappeared? Like…did they just not care to go looking for them. Or was there a more sinister answer….oh no. Anyways, I felt really bad for Ronald, and I’m not surprised that he’s still suffering from the trauma to this day. And that is…pretty much all of the surface level thoughts I have on this episode. Yeah, this one is just so full of back to back reveals and implications that I really don’t have much more to say outside of my wild speculation so…I might as well just get into the real meat right now. The main thing this episode does for us is reveal more about the relationship between Raymond Fielding and Agnes. Initially, Burned Out kind of led me to believe that Raymond was a victim of the creepy girl named Agnes, but now we know that while there’s still quite a lot of mystery surrounding the latter, that information was meant to deceive, and the truth is quite the opposite. So let’s talk about…what the fuck is even happening.

I’m just going to cut to the chase: Raymond Fielding was a massive dick. And also a servant of ✨the horrors✨. Seemingly the one associated with spiders. So, at the end of this episode, we learn that Raymond was secretly killing the children who “left” the house, and then started using their bodies as egg sacks for spiders. First of all…ew. Second of all…WHAT?! This was…a very shocking reveal, especially with its timing in the episode, but it also just makes my brain go WILD. Like…WHY was he doing this? What is the purpose of having all of these spiders? How did the authorities never find out? How many children did he kill? What about his ancestors before him? I just…SSDHHJGGGHHH. Now, Raymond’s methods seem to mostly tie into the table…but that’s its own can of worms, so I’ll get into that later. All I’m saying is that this man was absolutely terrifying, and I am GLAD that he’s seemingly dead for real now. But while this is certainly a shocking reveal, it also reveals some interesting new information about the spiders. They’re tied to control. You see, throughout the episode Ronald and other kids…didn’t necessarily feel like they were being controlled, but just…urged to do things that they usually wouldn’t do. And while I’m glad that an eldritch god still cares about good hygiene and morals…kind of, this was still creepy as fuck, and at the end, Ronald is DEFINITELY being mind controlled as he head into Raymond’s basement. (Side note: I will never not think of Micheal whenever there’s mentions of a creepy door opening.) So this is clearly another power of Raymond’s, but it also applies to the spiders in general. For example, in Arachnophobia, Carlos Vittery was forced to kill the spider from his childhood over and over again, until eventually meeting a fate…very similar to his friends. In Children of the Night, Trevor felt a very similar compulsion when he met the anonymous lady filled with spiders, and Jonathan Archivist Sims himself was compelled to smash a spider on his wall for…no apparent reason, which then led to the worst day of his life (so far.) And while these incidents didn’t involve spiders all that much, need I remind you that Ivo Lensik destroyed the tree out of a strange compulsion, and that Edwin Burroughs said words against his will, and both of those incidents took place at Hill Top Road. So…yeah, the spiders definitely have this interesting relationship with control, and as much as I like to and still will do my best to connect Micheal to everything (please come back baby I miss you so much)…I might unfortunately have to agree with Not!Sasha describing the pattern on the table as a web. I no longer think she was just saying that due to her personal relationship with it…I think she was telling the truth. So yeah! Raymond Fielding was a shitty spider man with mind control powers, how delightful! But while this is…obviously very terrifying, we can at least find some solace in the fact that there was one person who could combat him. That person was dear old Agnes. Holy shit, where to begin with Agnes.

Like I said, I was initially unnerved by Agnes, even in this episode. I thought that Raymond was a sweet old man who ended up being one of Agnes’ numerous victims. Now, while she is still a little bit spooky, I realize that the truth was the stark opposite. Agnes showed up at Hill Top Road two months before Ronald was to “leave”, which seems to discredit the idea that Raymond was her actual father, unless his motivation for murdering children was divorce. If she’s not his actual daughter, then her appearance there is all the more strange, because…why? Well, either way, I’m glad she showed up, because before Ronald left, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. And later on, right before he was about to become a spider nest, said cheek erupted in hot searing pain, and broke him from Raymond’s control. This shows us that Agnes was a hero, and hopefully means that no children after Ronald died…although I’d still be cautious of that assumption. But this gets me thinking about Agnes’ power. You see, I initially thought Hill Top Road was associated with Asag, due to the whole heat thing going on. Now, you’d assume that after this episode I’d come to the conclusion that the house is haunted by the spiders, but hear me out for a second…why not both? Agnes herself is anything but a servant of the spiders, and has these connections to heat, so what if there’s actually TWO beings haunting Hill Top Road. Both Asag and the spiders reside there, residual forces left behind by Agnes and Raymond, who burn and control those who come into their house. It’s interesting that someone so young could forge a connection to such a powerful and horrific force, and I have to wonder if she even connects to that mysterious cult at all, since she doesn’t seem to be a member. Either way, it’s very interesting that we now have two members of ✨the horrors✨ who are weak to heat and fire…makes me wonder more about how The Flesh Hive and the spiders are connected…also why the hell was Raymond a churchgoer if he was clearly worshiping something else? Or was he not? Was it all just a ruse to keep the neighbor’s suspicions at bay? Or was the church also full of spider worshippers? Is that why the neighbors all hated the children? WHAT THE FUCK WAS GOING ON IN THIS HOUSE?! …did you know that Basira’s colleague Daisy mentioned spider husk people in MAG 43? Idk, where else am I going to mention that? So yeah, Agnes was definitely a much better person then I anticipated…but this relationship between her and Raymond still leaves a lot to be desired. While this episode sheds a lot of light on what was going on when Hill Top Road was still a halfway house…there’s also quite a bit that needs to be unpacked about it’s future. There’s a lot left to understand. And I am GOING to understand.

So, welcome to the ✨theoretical timeline of Raymond Fielding’s halfway house on Hill Top Road, Oxford until further notice✨, starting after Ronald Sinclair escaped from his spidery clutches. So, according to Anna Kasuma, all of the children left (or were killed) when Agnes was 18 or 19, with it just being her or Raymond in the house, so that’s roughly eight years after she first arrived and started saving people, starting off with Ronald. …And that also means that she was there past the age she was supposed to leave, making her appearance there blatantly different from that of every other child. Now, Raymond clearly knew that something was…off with Agnes, and I doubt it would’ve taken him eight whole years to realize how she was helping people. So why didn’t he just…kill her? Well, Ronald thought that Raymond was afraid of her, and I’m inclined to agree. If Agnes’ power was capable of severing the control over the kids, then I think it’s safe to say that Raymond knew not to trifle with her out of fear for his own life. I think they spent the next eight years locked in a stalemate, where Raymond kept on trying to kill his kids (that is a sentence), and Agnes kept on trying to save them. (lmao, imagine being weak in the face of an eleven year old, get fucked bozo). It’s said that around this time, Raymond went missing, followed by local pets and a five year old boy. Now, Burned Out made me suspect Agnes was behind this, and I mean…that could still be the case. I can’t say with certainty that Agnes was 100% good, I mean she does have eldritch god powers and looks like the twins from The Shining. But…I still think this was Raymond’s doing. Because, think about it for a moment. Raymond’s body was found in his house, meaning that he couldn’t have gone far. And according to Ronald, he was a recluse who never left the house outside of church, to the point where neighbors would often worry about him. If Raymond simply stopped going to church, which he very well could’ve given that there was no one to go with at this point, then people might’ve just proclaimed him missing because they never saw him anymore. So, maybe those pets and that young boy ended up becoming his new prey now that the house was almost empty. And while I can excuse child murder, I draw the line at animal cruelty. Fuck you Raymond, everyone hates you. (If you’re wondering why I hate him so much more than any other antagonist so far…I don’t know, I need someone to vehemently hate so it might as well be him.) Anyways, it was after the disappearance of the young boy that the house burned down, and I’m inclined to attribute this to Agnes due to her likely connections to Asag. I think she burned the house down, killing Raymond in the process, and fled with his severed hand for…some reason. However, due to the fact that the place was home to two servants of eldritch gods…things probably god freaky. Whatever powers Raymond and Agnes served still lay dormant in that abandoned house to this day, burning and controlling whoever walks inside, explaining what happened to Ivo and Edwin. Finally, we have the matter of Raymond and Agnes’ fates, along with…that tree. That damned tree. I…still have no idea what the fuck is up with this thing. It’s like…THE thing that this episode avoided giving answers on. Still though, I’ll try to rationalize what I can, although this is where my thoughts get a lot more muddy.

So, Raymond seemingly persisted as ghost into the future, and I personally think he was tied to the tree. It would explain why the tree was bleeding, and also why his box was underneath it, although why, when, and how he was tethered to it, as well as who tethered him to it and put the box underneath (who is most likely Agnes but that’s still subject to change), is a complete mystery. Either way, I think Ivo’s destruction of the tree and box, Edwin’s exorcism, or both is what led to Raymond truly dying, explaining why what is presumably his hand was found to have died on the day Ivo and Edwin visited. This is very very speculative, but it’s the best I can do when trying to rationalize the timeline. As for Agnes…she’s even MORE difficult to pin down! I initially said that I think Agnes Montague is not the same person as the Agnes from Hill Top Road, but is still related, likely biologically. This is because she was of an age much younger than Hill Top’s Agnes should’ve been. However, I will concede that there’s a slight possibility she is the ghost of Hill Top’s Agnes in the same way as Raymond, explaining why she looks 26, as she wouldn’t have really aged. However, I think there are a few flaws in this way of thinking. First of all, assuming that Hill Top burned down around the time Agnes was 18 or 19, the chances of her being 26 and dying in the burnt down house are ultimately hard to pin down. It’s not impossible for that to be the case, but I can’t be certain. Secondly, I’m playing by traditional ghost rules when discussing Raymond, in that I believe he was bound to the tree, and the house by extension. But Ms. Montague was found dead in a Sheffield, so she can’t really work in the same way as Raymond in this scenario. And finally, Ms. Montague had an actual tangible body after death, where as Raymond, assuming he only truly died after Ivo and Edwin arrived, did not as far as I am aware. So the idea of Agnes also truly dying due to Ivo and Edwin’s actions seems a bit far fetched to me. So, I’m still sticking with my original theory here. That theory is that Agnes Montague is a descendant of the Agnes on Hill Top Road, who was given Raymond’s hand, and died on the same day Ivo tore down the tree for mysterious reasons. And…that’s about it! In short, Raymond and Agnes were quietly beefing with each other for eight years, give or take, Agnes burnt down Hill Top Road, killing Raymond and stealing his hand, left behind two eldritch gods, a creepy tree and Raymond’s ghost, said ghost was dealt with when Ivo Lensik and Edwin Burroughs visited the dilapidated house, and Agnes Montague, a descendant of Hill Top Agnes, hung herself on that same day with Raymond’s hand on her waist. This is…extremely bold of me to make. I only do this because much like Micheal, Hill Top Road is something that is very clearly important with tons of connections to other things, but is also extremely difficult to rationalize at the moment. So…I’m just going to take whatever headcanons I have on Hill Top as fact when writing these until further notice, and then use those headcanons to craft theories that’ll probably end up being wrong. Overall, there is still a lot to learn and a lot of questions to be answered. Like, what’s Raymond’s history? What’s his motivations? What’s Agnes’ history and her motivations? What happened when Ronald left? What is up with the GOD. FORSAKEN. TREE?! All of this is very interesting and I’m very excited, but also terrified of uncovering the truth behind this creepy house and its creepy residents. …But do you want to know what the funny things is. We’re STILL. NOT. DONE. Because there is one last thing. One thing that I have neglected to mention. The thing that from now on will haunt my every waking moment until death. The fearsome, gruesome, UTTERLY TERRIFYING…

tabel :-)

Let me just start off by saying that: I WAS SO FUCKING RIGHT!!! One of if not my single oldest standing theory I’ve had while listening was that the box underneath the tree was the missing piece of the table, and finally, after FIFTY-ONE episodes of waiting for the answer, I FINALLY HAVE IT CONFIRMED. THAT IS SO FUCKING GRATIFYING YOU HAVE NO IDEA. Part of why I love this episode is because it really makes it feel like I’ve gotten to a point where so much is starting to come together, and that tiny little reveal was just the icing on the cake for me. But enough gloating…this stupid piece of wood. WHY MUST YOU HAUNT EVERY LITTLE CREVICE I TRY TO HIDE IN YOU SICK FREAK?! So…this is an interesting episode in regards to the table, in that it is the only one to have it, while also not featuring the impersonator. Now, I can think of a few reasons for this. You see, Not!Sasha described the pattern on the table as a web, which I do believe now due to Raymond’s powers, but there’s also a lot that suggests she said that because the table has trapped her, she must go wherever it goes. So, it’s possible that at this point in time she just…wasn’t bound to it. However, it’s worth noting that in all statements that feature the impersonator, the box is missing from the center. So maybe the impersonator was inside the table, but due to the presence of the box, its bindings were even stronger than usual, to the point where it couldn’t even take anyone. And as for the final potential theory, which is COMPLETE crack; I just think it would be kind of cool if maybe the impersonator was like…the souls of all of the children being used as egg sacks. Like they all got sucked into the table, and start taking over other people’s lives in order to get their own ones back. There’s like…a two percent chance that this is the case but I thought it was an interesting idea. Ultimately, all this really does is make the timeline more confusing…and also makes me think the impersonator doesn’t have a good relationship with spiders. And speaking of which, I feel like it’s worth mentioning how Raymond utilizes the table himself. I think his having everyone gather around it on Sundays was basically his way of keeping control over them, and that maybe the table was what gave him this ability in the first place. Since it’s capable of binding the impersonator on its own, maybe he learned how to harness its power and use it on the children. It’s also pretty clear that the apple in the box is what ultimately caused all of those kids to die and become egg sacks…but given how Ivo destroyed the thing I don’t know if we have to worry about that anymore. But I think the biggest takeaway from all of this is that the table is a weapon. It can be used for good purposes like binding the impersonator (which has backfired multiple times but like…it’s better than just letting it run rampant), but can also be used for sinister purposes like mind control. And given how it’s in the institute as we speak…well, I can only hope that it’ll be used for good going forward. But…UGH there’s so much that its presence here opens up! Like, how do Breekon and Hope fit into all of this? At what point did they bring the table to Graham Folger and then the institute? How many other people was it brought to, if at all. Why was the box separated from it? And why didn’t Jon mention it post-statement?! I….SSTFYGFTUUJGREEERTTYYUUIIUIKJFEWWERYUKKKLL!!!!

Well…that was certainly an episode of The Magnus Archives, a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill, and licensed under a Creative Commons attribution non-commercial share alike 4.0 international license. There is a LOT that I did not touch on in this episode, and probably a bajillion things that haven’t even occurred to me. Hopefully though, I’ll touch on those in the future when they’re appropriate to bring up. And like I said, Hill Top Road is like another Micheal to me (oh god…the table…and the fractals with Ivo’s dad OH NO) with how it just feels like it connects to EVERYTHING. The history of this house, Raymond, Agnes and just…everything that surrounds it is so mystifying to me. I feel as if I’m staring into the face of an endless void as we speak, and I don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. Hopefully I will get answers regarding this house soon, but for now…uuuuggghhhh someone save me before I have to give in and become a Jon kinnie. Oh, and speaking of Jon, what about the post-statement and supplemental? Well, we learn that for whatever reason, information regarding Hill Top Road has been largely lost or damaged, which is…concerning. I get the feeling that further information on this house must be…pretty heavy stuff if it’s all been destroyed. Jon also mentions Martin’s fondness for spiders here, which we already knew about but…it’s a bit more strange to me nowadays. I don’t want to be too suspicious of him, especially after he delivered the most legendary plot twist of all time, but I still find it to be an interesting little quirk of his. Lastly, we learn in the supplemental that everyone’s avoiding Jon. And while I do feel bad for him, truly…yeah no shit. I mean I’m sorry sweetheart but you’re not exactly being subtle in your investigations, you shouldn’t be all that surprised by this. …oh dear god. I reach the mid season finale tomorrow…please just be somewhat digestible….

Supplemental: oooooohhhh spooky

- Episode 60, The Observer Effect🪞

Statement of Rosa Meyer, concerning a persistent feeling of being watched.

Well…here it is. The mid-season finale of Season 2. Now, while this episode isn’t quite as grand and shocking to me as Desecrated Host, it is a very, VERY intriguing one. The statement is one of, if not the shortest one yet, which is fair as it needs to make room for the fairly lengthy supplemental, but it does seemingly help to further verify a few of my theories, brings up some interesting new ideas, has some VERY a interesting implications on a thematic level, and it definitely feels like it’s pushing the story into…I guess, another phase or something like that. While I think that this is a solid way to end off the first half of the season, I might not have as much to say about the plot of the statement as I do for some others, as while it is definitely very intriguing, it doesn’t have nearly as many shocking revelations as an episode like the last one for example, just adds to some things that were already implied or suspected. But that’s absolutely fine! Hell, I think I needed something to take my mind off of piecing together Hill Top Road lore, so this is more than welcome. But enough preamble, let’s get into the episode that was…oddly personal to me, but like…personal in a really weird way…yeah…

So, I kind of just want to start off by answering why this episode was so…personal to me. Because it’s really weird. It’s not personal in the same way episodes like Lost in the Crowd or Personal Space are, as while this episode did scare me quite a bit, it wasn’t on a deep, psychologically personal level. No, the reason it’s personal is just a lot more simple. It’s personal because not only do I live in Norwich, (which isn’t that big of a deal, I mean it was bound to show up in tma eventually)…but my dad edits for BBC Look East. …The same show Rosa Meyers, the protagonist of this episode, presented for. So like, this episode doesn’t affect me that deeply, but it just felt…WEIRDLY targeted by how well it lined up with a notable part of my family and I’s lives, and that’s already gained this episode a special place in my heart. Ok, that’s enough of revealing personal details that’ll hopefully not bite me in the ass during future job applications. What about the actual plot of the statement? Starting off, can I get a YIPPEE for our FOURTH cold opening in a row?! HOORAY FOR TRAUMA!!! The whole opening segment…is just so incredibly well performed on Jonny’s part. He always does a great job portraying statement givers in distress, but honestly, this single scene might just be the second best example of this after, like, all of Hive. He REALLY sold how distressed Rosa was when giving this statement, and I fully believed that she was spiraling and breaking down as she wrote it. I’m also really happy that the episode allows this whole breakdown to take up a decent amount of time, as not only does it hint at Rosa being a…somewhat unusual statement giver, but it also helps to drive home what I believe is the main point of the episode, although I’ll get into that later. Anyways, the opening is great, and honestly managed to tap into my own fears of being watched with how visceral the voice acting was. Going forward, we learn about how Rosa gained this feeling after doing inventory for her deceased brother’s estate. And based on the way she described his stroke, as well as what he was involved with…I mean yeah I doubt he died normally. The man was clearly digging very deep into things he probably shouldn’t have, so I think that “stroke” was actually something much more sinister. Oddly enough, his death reminds me of that of Ivo’s father in Episode 8, and Paul McKenzie in Episode 27, both of whom died in seemingly normal ways that had much more sinister undertones. I was also a little bit unnerved by her sibling-rivalry comments on Christopher, which I’m 99% sure doesn’t mean anything, but…Lost Johns’ Cave did things to me so….yeah. Anyways, we also learn here that Christopher Meyers was doing research into ancient religious artifacts, which is obviously…a very interesting thing to mention given the presence of cults and artifacts throughout the podcast. He even wrote about vampires at one point too… This weirdness is backed up later when we learn that he was doing research into “outer cults” and their practices, which I can only assume refers to things like The Divine Host, The Cult of Asag, The Other Circus and more. All of it seems to further suggest that the driving force behind this plot is a war between ✨the horrors✨. It’s all very peculiar, and given his mysterious death…as well as the fact we learn he was consulting with The Magnus Institute for unknown reasons, I definitely think that Christopher Meyer will hold some significance later. This statement was given in 1972, meaning that not even James Wright, Elias’ predecessor, would’ve been in charge at this point, and it’s very possible that Gertrude wasn’t either. So I assume it’ll be fairly hard to dig up information on Christopher…but it’s interesting nonetheless.

Anyways, going back to Rosa, it’s here that she opens one of Christopher’s boxes, and finds the note and mirror that lead to her being watched and gaining extreme paranoia. (By the way, I learned after listening that the title of the episode refers to a phenomenon where you alter the behavior/state of whatever you see, simply by just observing it. Just thought that was pretty cool.) Admittedly, I’m not all that concerned about the note and the mirror in terms of what they could do. The mirror’s shattered now, and either the note can’t act without the mirror or is just kind of creepy, so I’m more concerned about where exactly Christopher even got it…and what it might’ve done to him. Breekon, Hope and Mikaele Salesa obviously have a reputation of handing out creepy artifacts…but I’m more concerned by the possibility he got it from The Magnus Institute itself. And unfortunately…I think that might be the case. You see, this mirror and Rosa’s following experiences have to be tied to the eye horror, because what else it going to be? This horror has always stuck out to me because of how little it seems to show up compared to other ones…but maybe that’s by design. This thing is an observer, a spectator by nature, so it naturally doesn’t get involved all that much, unless someone directly triggers it to, or it’s being…carried around by someone like Gerard. And I think that nature is why it connects to The Magnus Institute, why it likely makes its home there, because the institute is the means through which we are told these stories. Most of the people who are working there don’t directly connect back to the statements themselves (at least as far as we know and with the exception of Not!Sasha), so they are therefore also just outsiders who observe the story, collecting knowledge but not really trying to get too involved. So if we have this spectator being that usually doesn’t get involved unless someone walks directly into its domain…well, where else would Christopher have gotten that mirror? It lines up pretty nicely with Crusader as well, since Walter Heller was haunted by what was seemingly the same being after stumbling into an older archive. So yeah…while the mirror itself doesn’t scare me much, the circumstances behind it definitely do. Following Rosa’s encounter with the mirror, she ends up dealing with extreme paranoia and loses her job, eventually bringing her to giving her statement, in hopes of learning more about what’s happening to her, and her brother’s involvement, ending the story. Now while this episode definitely provides some intrigue here and there, especially regarding the eye horror…it is still pretty short and simple. Not a bad thing at all, I still thought it was very solid and chilling, but outside of connections to the eyes, which are clearly VERY important…it doesn’t seem as grandiose as the halfway point of Season 1. However, I still think it works for one reason, that being how Rosa parallels, and potentially foreshadows Jon.

Throughout this episode, there was just…a lot of really weird similarities between Jon and Rosa that really scared me, maybe even more than anything confirmed in the statement itself. The most obvious similarity between them is their sheer amounts of paranoia, which is at the very least partially stemmed from the fact that they are both being watched, likely by the exact same thing. …This unknown observer genuinely terrifies me with how mysterious they are. They both have gotten increasingly paranoid, doing whatever they can to get answers on the things that haunt them, start mistrusting people or things in their job that were once familiar to them (which makes Elias stating they don’t want to fire him VERY upsetting), and it’s gotten to the point where both of them have caused some level of harm to others. These parallels might not mean much, outside of the obvious connections it provides between Jon and the thing that watched Rosa 24/7, but I think it’s what makes this ultimately work really well as a mid-season finale. We’ve witnessed Jon get progressively more and more unhinged as the season goes on, going as far as to stalk his coworkers, suspect them of murder, and break into Gertrude’s flat, and these parallels, combined with the supplemental which I’ll get to later, really do drive home how far the listener has come, and it feels like a nice way to end the first half. But…there is one thing about these parallels that worries me more than anything else. You see, Rosa apparently murdered a delivery van driver named Danilo Costich, who was seemingly delivering stationary to the institute, threw out the stationary, and replaced it with petrol before stealing the truck. Not only is this very reminiscent of Gertrude’s actions in Crusader (which kind of creates a parallel triangle between Rosa, her and Jon)but it’s clearly meant to tell us that Rosa had plans of blowing up The Magnus Institute, likely due to the fact she felt more watched in the institute than anywhere else, and figured her observer was in there. This is already worrying enough on its own…but when you consider how her story seems to parallel Jon….it makes me really worried that he’ll end up doing something very very stupid sooner rather than later, something that may hurt his colleagues. And there’s one last thing that bothered me. Despite how similar Rosa’s situation was to his…Jon didn’t bother to even draw any attention to that, even though his voice was a little bit shakier than usual. This has been a weird pattern of his recently, one very evident in cases like him neglecting to mention the table in Hill Top Road. It’s gotten to the point where I don’t feel like it’s unintentional, I think it’s a case where Jon, while not exactly in denial like he was in Season 1, is just trying not to draw attention to the things that affect him directly, in order to keep what little sanity he has left. …All in all I’m very scared for him. So…yeah. That’s The Observer Effect. This is a very intriguing episode, it’s short and sweet, but it’s brought me back to some ideas I’ve neglected in the past, and is absolutely one of the most thematically rich episodes for me so far. It’s really making me think about this anonymous watcher…how it feels like everyone in the institute is its puppet. Well, hopefully the second half of the season will give some big answers, but I’ll just have to wait and see in the meantime.

Look…I know it’s a unfortunate situation. I know it’s a result of Jon falling so deep into paranoia and insanity that he’s hurting both himself and the people around him. I know that it really hurts to see that he’s fallen this far, and that his relationships with people who may have once been his friends have fallen apart this much, to the point where he can’t trust them and they can’t trust him. I understand it’s a terrible result of trauma and that we hate to see everyone write off his paranoia as folly when there is at least one eldritch monster among them. But…if I’m being honest…thank GOD they finally gave him an intervention. Like HOLY SHIT this was long overdue. So yeah, as much as this supplemental did kind of hurt to listen to…it’s probably for the best that it happened in the first place. But on top of that, it comes with some pretty interesting revelations that’ll likely change the course of the season from here on out. Starting off, I’m absolutely insane about how Jon recorded the intervention that was regarding him recording things. That is…so uniquely him. I’m also insane about how despite everything that’s happened…Martin was still decently nice to him. Just…can someone please give him all of the riches in the world? Admittedly, this intervention does really show how damaged Jon’s relationships with everyone else have become, but Martin’s behavior here at least gives me hope that they’ll be able to get on amicable terms in the future. (maybe even…kiss…) I also really enjoyed the part where Jon mentioned monsters being out there, and cuts himself off before suggesting any of them might be one…oh god that hurts considering Not!Sasha but it’s so good. Oh yeah, and Not!Sasha continues to be a dirty little liar in the worst ways possible. Don’t get me wrong, I think she’s kind of a vibe, but…”we care about you Jon” and “let’s have no more of this paranoia” made me want to punch her so badly you have no idea. …I kind of hate the fact that I’m getting used to her being around. All in all it’s just a really unfortunate but extremely well written scene. Even though we don’t get to see much of the archival assistants and Elias in Season 1 overall, you can really tell how much things have worsened after Jane showed up, and…it hurts. I hope that Jon will be able to repair his relationships with everyone, but logically speaking I really don’t know if that’s going to happen anytime soon. …There is one last thing, however, that I find very intriguing. That is obviously how Elias gave Jon the CCTV footage of the week Gertrude died. This…seemingly proves that Gertrude was not murdered by anyone in the archives, and Jon starts suspecting that she was murdered by whatever is in the tunnels. Now, I could honestly see this as a red herring. After all, I’ve suspected Elias ever since the cause of death was revealed, and he was the guy who gave Jon the footage, so for all we know he could be obscuring things…but I’m honestly not all that sure. The being in the tunnels is a…complete mystery as of now, like I genuinely have no idea who or what it might be, nor do I know who’s apparently sneaking in when Jon isn’t looking. (My best guess is Not!Sasha but part of me thinks it could be Tim since he was the first person to find them.) In all honesty, I’m now open to multiple interpretations. I don’t feel like I can be fully on board with this theory of Jon’s until we learn more about the tunnels, but I am definitely a lot more open to the idea of the killer being someone outside the institute now. I also found it interesting how Gertrude was described as constantly going in and out, looking frantic. After he broke into her flat, I’ve come to the conclusion that Jon and Gertrude were more similar than he would like to admit, so I definitely think she was dealing with her own paranoia sometime before death, and this nearly confirms it for me. It’s also interesting how there aren’t any cameras in the archives…despite that being the room where all of Gertrude’s blood was found…hm…also when is Jon going to find her laptop?

Overall…this feels like a pretty substantial change. It doesn’t reveal much new information…but it feels like it’s sort of changed the direction of the story. I suspect that in the second half of the season, we’ll get more information on the tunnels, Jon will turn away from suspecting his employees…a bit, (which is concerning given the existence of Not!Sasha but…I digress…) and he’ll probably start digging in other directions to find Gertrude’s killer. I think we’ll get more insight into the members of the archival team going forward, and hopefully, there’ll be some big answers around the time of the finale. But, only time will tell. In conclusion, I thought this was a very satisfying mid-season finale. It’s different from what I was expecting, but I think it serves as a nice way to segue from one half to another, and it definitely pushes the story in new directions. But…I’m more concerned for Jon than ever holy shit…

Supplemental: I just recently had a thought regarding Not!Sasha and the table. For a long time, I’ve assumed that the table, and by extension the spiders, are like her captor, and while I do still think that makes the most sense…I did think of a potential alternative. You see, I’ve compared her to the anatomy students quite a bit, and the anatomy students have a lot of apple symbolism…which might be relevant given the presence of the apple in Hill Top Road. I still think she has more connections to The Anglerfish than anything else, and that the table is her enemy…but it’s interesting food for thought regardless.

OH MY GOD I’M FINALLY FINISHED. Wow…that was…excruciatingly long. Like, it was fun, I’m very proud of the work I’ve put in but LORD ALMIGHTY. So yeah…I’ve somehow reached the halfway point of The Magnus Archives Season 2! It’s…genuinely kind of insane to me that not only have I made it this far…but that I’m in the mental state I am because of it. Like, I knew this was going to be my new big thing as soon as I listened to Do Not Open, but…WOW. This has absolutely taken over my life and brain, and…it’s just…HOW DID I GET FROM A CREEPY GUY ASKING FOR A CIGARETTE TO…ALL OF THIS?! AND WHY AM I TALKING THIS MUCH ABOUT IT?! Overall…I am simultaneously anticipating and dreading what comes next. This season has already been significantly more packed with insane shit than all of Season 1, so I am NOT PREPARED for whatever comes out of it in this next half. Anyways, thank you so much for making it to the end, you have no idea how much it means to me, and I hope you’ll be around for the next post, where I’ll be covering episodes 61-70! Bye! :)

Supplemental Supplemental: Ok there is actually one last thing that popped into my head just now. I’ve taken some time to dwell on it since Still Life, and I’ve come to the conclusion that if The Anglerfish isn’t directly worshipped by The Other Circus, then it’s probably just a smaller branch of whatever it does worship. I think I just needed to stop being set on the idea of The Anglerfish being one of the big bads, because as mysterious and inscrutable as it is, it is entirely possible that it’s a lesser monster more on the level of…vampires or something. So, here is my current list of ✨the horrors✨, updated for Season 2B, now with some potential servants listed as well!

- The Flesh Hive (6, 22, 26, 32, 39, 40, 45, 55)

Servants Include: Jane Prentiss, John Amherst

- The Vast (4, 21, 46, 51, 57?)

Servants Include: Mike Crew, The Fairchilds

- The Piper (7, 42?)

Servants Include: Maybe Alfred Grifter?

- Asag (8, 12, 19, 20, 37, 43, 59)

Servants Include: Diego Molina, Arthur Nolan, Agnes

- The Spiders (8, 16, 19, 20, 38, 59)

Servants Include: Raymond Fielding

- The Darkness (9, 25, 52, 57?)

Servants Include: The Divine Host…In General…

- The Observer (12, 20, 23, 53, 60)

Servants Include: Gerard Keay, Potentially all of The Keays, The Alexandrian Archivist, Potentially the entire Archival Team?

- Isolation Thing (13, 33, 57)

Servants Include: The Lukas Family…In General…

- Meat and Bones (14, 17, 18, 30, 49, 58)

Servants Include: Angela, Jared Hopworth, Tom Haan, Eustace Wick

- Compression (15, 41, 50)

Servants Include: George Gilbert Scott, The Governor, Maybe Laura Popham, Maybe whatever is in the tunnels

- The Anglerfish (or something close to it) (1, 24, 28, 44, 54)

Servants Include: The Other Circus, Breekon & Hope, Sarah Baldwin, Daniel Rawlings

- Micheal (8, 26, 47)

Servants Include: …Himself? idk (:/)

- The Master of The Reapers (29)

Servants Include: The Reapers…duh…

And then there’s probably something else I’m missing. Or maybe not idk. Ok, goodbye for real now! :)

[bachassociates1]

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[jjinno]

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[angelasscribbles]

What Happened in Vegas

Series: None, this is a one-shot and you can find those here.

Fandom: The Royal Romance

Pairing: Riley x Liam x Drake

Rating: MA

Warnings for this chapter: mature themes I guess

Word Count: 1,796

A/N: Credit/blame goes to @aussiegurl1234 for putting this in my head with the simple statement that the Vegas fling should have been a threesome. To be clear: There is no smut here, this isn't set in Vegas, but rather the aftermath and results of what happened.

My other stuff: Master List.

Liam's head guard entered the council chambers to whisper in the king's ear. "Sorry to interrupt, but the Duchess of Valtoria is asking to see you. She says it's important."

Riley was on the short list of people that had unrestricted access to him at all times. "Thank you, Alec." He nodded to dismiss the guard, then turned back to the council members. "Are we about done here?"

"Well, there was one last item—" The Earl of Dunwick pointed to the line item on the agenda about a proposed construction project and a lake full of some protected fish.

"Anything that can't wait until next week?"

"Well…. The project management company has been waiting for an answer for six months already…"

"So, what's one more week?" Liam grinned. "Meeting adjourned!"

The king of Cordonia damn near skipped through the halls to the private sitting room where the woman who made his heart beat was waiting.

His smile faltered when he found Drake waiting with her.

He had hoped Riley was there to spend some quality time with him. He didn't see her near as often as he would have preferred. Ever since the advent of her marriage to his best friend, their trysts had diminished. Not ended mind you, but it wasn't like it had been during the social season when they had been sneaking off every chance they got to the hedge maze, the rooftop, or an empty guest room.

Then the coronation debacle had happened and everything had gone sidewise.

He had hoped to be able to repair their relationship during the engagement tour and he had, to some extent.

Riley had told him up front when she started sleeping with Drake, but somehow, every time she reminded him of her new relationship, the two of them ended up in bed together. "I'm with Drake now, remember?" Always ended with her screaming his name.

Pushing his disappointment aside, he embraced and kissed her on the lips before turning to acknowledge Drake's presence. Greetings were exchanged, then he directed his attention back to Riley. "Not that I'm complaining, in any way, I am always happy to see you, but why are you here?"

Riley cut straight to the chase. "I think I'm pregnant. My period is late, and I can't remember if I had it last month or not." Life had been busy since assuming the mantle of Duchess and starting married life with Drake.

Liam did some quick backward math. His eyebrows shot up as he looked from her to Drake and back again. "Vegas?"

"Vegas," she nodded.

"So…whose is it?"

Riley threw her arms up in the air. "I don't know. Does it matter?"

"Of course it fucking matters, Riley!"

"Not to me it doesn't," Drake broke in. He moved closer so he could wrap both arms around his wife. Nuzzling into the side of her neck, he told her, "I love you either way."

"I didn't say I wouldn't still love her!" Liam exploded. "Don't put words in my mouth!"

"Oh, calm down," Riley admonished. "I don't even know if I'm pregnant yet. I thought you should both be here when I take the test, given that there's no way to know which one of you knocked me up."

Liam took a deep breath and tugged at his tie as mentally collected himself. An out of wedlock heir to the throne would be a scandal of epic proportions, but the thought was not entirely unwelcomed. "Right. Thank you for that. If this child is mine, I want to be involved every step of the way."

Riley gave him an affectionate smile. "See? I knew that, and that's why we're here, Right, babe?"

"Right." Drake released her and stepped back. "Are we sure it happened in Vegas? Because if it happened on our wedding night or during the honeymoon—"

"Or in the weeks leading up to the wedding?" Liam interjected. He had spent quite a bit of time helping the new duchess settle into her role. He had also helped her out of her clothes more often than not after a long day of diplomatic lessons.

Riley waved him off. "I had a period just before Vegas, that I remember. So if the baby is yours, it almost had to have happened in Vegas. After all, you were both inside me that night. When you weren't inside each other, that is." Her hand went to her mouth to stifle a giggle.

Drake's eyes met Liam's over the top of her head. Both men froze for a second as both faces flushed red, then both sets of eyes dropped quickly to the floor.

The night in Vegas had been wild, but they had never discussed it after the fact. Liam was out as bisexual, but it had been Drake's first and only experience with a man.

Drake was well aware of his wife's extracurricular activities with his best friend. He had no issues with it. In fact, images of Liam and Riley together fueled more of his fantasies than he liked to admit.

"Okay, I'm going to pee on this stick now!" She brandished it in front of them like a kid with a magic wand before disappearing into the attached bathroom.

The men made awkward small talk as they waited, both of them breathing out a sigh of relief when she returned, alleviating the danger of them having to address the elephant in the room, at least for the moment.

"Now we wait," she chirped. "Could one of you set a timer for two minutes?"

Liam had his phone out first. "Done!"

It was the longest two minutes of his life. He paced the floor, deep in thought as Riley and Drake sat on the settee, making plans for the weekend, laughing and touching each other frequently.

The timer dinged and all three heads snapped up. Three sets of eyes flitted from one person to the other to the bathroom door.

Riley stood and went to retrieve the answer to their question. She returned from the bathroom to both men's gazes locked on her with anticipation.

"The moment of truth…" she glanced down at the stick in her hand, feeling disappointment wash through her in place of the relief she had expected to feel. "It's negative. I'm not pregnant."

Drake's brows furrowed as he moved closer to her. "Are you okay? I thought that's the result you wanted, but you look sad."

Liam backed away from them. "I… just need a moment to process…"

He resumed his pacing as he grappled with an onslaught of mixed emotions.

No scandal, no awkward questions, no figuring out how to juggle schedules between three adults and two homes… but also no heir, no biological tie to the woman he loved, and no relief from the unrelenting pressure to marry and produce offspring. He stopped pacing and spun to face Drake. "Did you mean what you said earlier?"

"What did I say earlier?"

"That you didn't care whose baby it was."

"Right. Yeah…." Drake's eyes tracked from Liam to Riley and back again. "Why? There is no baby—"

"What if there were?"

Drake blinked. "What do you mean?"

"I mean…." He crossed the room quickly and took Riley's hands in his. "Have a baby with me, Riley! On purpose!"

Giddiness bubbled up inside of her at the prospect. But he couldn't be serious, could he? "Are you sure that's a good idea?"

"Do you want to see me married to someone else?"

Riley's gaze slid to Drake as she considered if her answer would hurt him. But they had promised each other unrelenting honesty, no matter what. She returned her attention to Liam and shook her head.

"Then give me an heir so I don't have to marry…. Anyone, ever!"

"Is that even a thing that we can do?"

"Yes! It's not totally without precedence. I simply have to acknowledge the child and publicly legitimize him or her. Which I will!" He dropped down on one knee. "I know you're already married, but consider this an official proposal to be my royal consort. Openly. Move back to the palace. Take your rightful place by my side!"

Drake's throat cleared. "Um… hello? What are you doing?"

"Sorry!" Liam scrambled to his feet. "I may have gotten carried away there, but I'm serious. Do you honestly like living in Valtoria?"

"Not really," Drake admitted, "But I'd live in Antarctica if that's where my wife was."

"Then you're open to moving back home?"

A spark of jealousy flared through him, followed almost immediately by a pang of longing.

There was no doubt that he was in love with his wife. Helplessly, hopelessly, head over heels in love with her. But the night in Vegas had opened a door he had been avoiding peaking behind for his entire life, leaving him questioning the nature of his feelings for his best friend.

His mouth opened, closed, then opened again. "I… what exactly are you proposing? That my wife shacks up with you? Where does that leave me?"

"I'm sorry if I wasn't clear. I meant both of you."

Drake's entire body stilled as his mind raced to interpret Liam's meaning. "Both of us…. what?”

Liam shrugged. "Whatever you want, whatever you'll allow. I want you both to move in. We've already agreed to this situation we find ourselves in with Riley. We can continue as we are, with her splitting time between our bedrooms or…"

"Or?" Drake struggled to keep the note of hopefulness out of his voice, sure that everyone in the room could hear the pounding of his heart.

With a smirk, Liam moved closer to him. "Or you and I can continue what we started in Vegas and see where it goes."

Blood rushed to his face, heating his cheeks as he nodded, then looked away.

"Great!" Liam turned back to Riley. "You don't have to answer right now if you're not ready. Take your time and—"

"Yes! I'll do it! We'll move in, I'll be your consort, we can have a baby! As long as Drake is okay with all of it, that is."

"I'm okay with it."

Liam felt a rush of happiness crash over him. "Can you stay tonight? I'd like to start working on that baby right away."

"Oh, I don't know if—"

"It's okay," Drake assured her. "If you want to stay, I can go pack some of our clothes and—"

"Actually," Liam interrupted, "I was hoping you could join us."

Drake's eyes widened, slid down Liam's body, then closed as he drew in a deep, shuddering breath.

The trajectory of his life was about to change. And he couldn't wait to see where it would take him.

[ouppypio]

wooooooooaahh lots of ppl wanted to hear about the au so uh explanation ( also sorry it was late at a party rn)

Magical Girl Au Explanation Thinggy..

Before everyone chose to be a magical girl, they were once all human untill meeting Caine. Caine is some magical being along his buddy Bubble who he made. Caine has good intentions but due to his lack of understanding human emotions, does intentions back fired. He seen how humans have suffered, either by pain,depression,ect. He wanted to help the humans by either turning their lives more fun n stuff. I haven't thought on what he does but the idea was there are the Abstractions and creatures (example like the gloinks) that wreck people's lives but nobody can see them. As they live in this sorta circus themed world thats you can only kinda can get there without magiccccc....n stufffffffff. Caine decided to gather people who were willing to destroy those monsters, again this au is going through construction so I haven't figured out for some parts like why Caines intentions backfired so if yall wanna give out ideas I'd be happy to hear em. Back to what I was saying, Caine manage to get a few members for his group or whatever u wanna call it. Alot on who he gathered got abstracted ( alot of this is inspired by Puella Magi Madoka Magica so alot of it will be similar to that anime) so the previous members are now Abstractions (like previous magical girls turn into witches) All of the members were once human, but apon meeting Caine. Caine came to the conclusion that the human body was just to weak for them to fight so he came with a solution. By using his power, he turned their human body to these magical forms, essential what they are in the digital circus. But these body aren't human at all, they don't have organs or look anywhere near human like that so that strikes another problem. Since they can live in the human world anymore, Caine decided to create a new home for them, The Digital Circus. All of the members were devastated to learn that their lives were taken away and now having to live in some circus well just like the show... they abstracted. I might go for an idea that Caine erases all of their old memory to help with their sadness but again with it backfiring with them going insane n stuff. Again feel free to leave out ideas.

So now we begin with our story starting with Pomni. Pomni or whatever her human name would be (Pammy? Pamantha? Poppy?) She's is a depressed,overworked, and very much hates her job, office worker. Working for a company ( maybe for a game uh again not sure) who desperately wants to change herself, to prove the people around her that she can do something, that she can make a change, to have a purpose. That goal could spark the interest of Caine, so one day appearing in front of her to make a deal. Maybe possibly one of the monsters attack her. Either by accidentally going to the magic world thingy on mistake ( she maybe noticed a weird group of them going to this portal, or by just peer dumb and bad luck...she would have lots of bad luck) Possibly Caine saves her or the group instead. Which ever I go for Caine strikes a deal with her and she goes along with it because of the desperation to be something. And once she actually learns the horror of this new body and new home, she regrets it...as all the others during there first times. Now me meet the group, starting with the oldest

Kinger, the one who's been apart of the group the longest and most wisest. He's somehow been able to stay somewhat same but due to so much time dealing with all the craziness and losing someone dear to him. The magical girl gig has kinda broken him away so especially he's the plan/ smart guy in the group. Telling information for the group for missions and strategies.

Then Ragatha who's the second oldest member. She is essentially the mom friend, who often aids her friends during battles and keeping check of anyone (especially after someone abstracts) She tries to put on a happy face and cheerfully personality to keep her sanity, as it's her way to deal with her forever situation.

Jax is the third, he's the playful and prankster as always. Often teasing and annoying his teammates whenever he has the chance to. Jax often doesn't wait to attack during missions and ignores everyone's warning, unless Caine gets him to sit down and listen. But all of the sass and humor is his way to cope with the situation.

Gangle is the fourth member of the group, she's quite soft spoken and scared. As she still struggles a bit of her situation, and relys on her mask to deal with her emotions. Although she isn't weak, she can find herself to cower over some missions if they get to much. Mostly when she doesn't have her happy mask on, and that mask helps her with confidence. Although her emotions help her boost her strength if in very strong emotions.Her coping is practically relying on her masks to keep her happy,although a certain someone keeps breaking them.

Zooble is the fifth and came not long after Gangle. They are a distant and "idgaf" type of person, often trying to not get close with anyone and to just get over with it. Zooble sorta chills there untill they go to another mission, and their distancing is their way of coping. Not wanting to make connections to people in fear of losing them, just over all wanting to do the missions and nothing else.

The basic plot of it is Pomni and everyone else going to mission while they slowly start to find out more and more about everything to who they are, Caine and his secrets,and the universe itself. Anyways that's what I'm going to leave off, have a sketch of Pomni and Ragatha designs. I do plan on finnish it aswell with everyone's else but im tired and I wanna go to bed. Also credits to @massivemilkshaketale giving me ideas for this au, ily all and gn :33

designssssssss

[cboffshore]

Sorrow Is All The Rage: A (Relatively) Brief Update

No special trigger warnings apply beyond those in previous parts of this essay. If you have not read those yet, here are links to Part One and Part Two, which are necessary parts of the following essay.

Welcome back to the break room.

It's quiet here today - everyone is off celebrating the office's founding anniversary. There's the usual stuff on the table: half full packs of napkins, extra plastic cutlery, backup packs of soda, and one dead canary.

Next to the birdcage - containing, of course, the usual black-inked brown paper shroud - is a little note: we've moved the party to the courtyard! come join us for some special fun as we celebrate another year!

Okay. Why don't you step outside, then?

So you do. You step into the sun, the breeze, and for a few minutes, things are fine! While you're sipping a small glass of punch, you think, huh. Not sure why they'd put the birdcage in the break room if everyone is out here, but maybe this'll just be a normal -

A glint catches your eye from down the lawn. You hear wings flapping from the same direction, surrounded by the din of a group of people and... cheers. The person who told you that canary was dead all along slips into the circle, holding what you think is a knife glaring in the daylight.

You don't even bother to fact check that. Based on the familiar faces of the dead canary enjoyers standing there, and the rising cheers and the wings beating like petals against a palm, well. You can guess what's about to happen, and you know you can't take it, so back inside you go, and once again you wonder: why are you so bothered about it?

From your cubicle window, you watch other people shuffle away from the corner where the canary waits to die yet again. Clearly, you're not the only one upset. And clearly, it's not against the rules here - they're doing it at a company party! There are managers in there, people you trust, watching and cheering as the thing you feared happens - at least, as near as you can tell from this distance.

You knew it was coming. They didn't hide it. You followed the signs right in, hoping.

So why does it still hurt?

----------------

Before I get into this properly, a disclaimer, because I wasn't clear enough last time I updated this essay: this is not an attack on the author of when you think you're all alone, the fic that I'm talking about here. It is also not an attack on the fic itself.

I repeat: I mean no harm. I mean no insult. This is me venting, which is why it may come off sharp at times. At most, this is criticism - not necessarily constructive, but also not meant as a personal attack. I am examining the scene as a whole and feel the need to update my stance on WYTYAA after its most recent update, because I feel that this fic occupies a very important spot in the scene, and I would be remiss not to make that clear.

One more time: This is a vent. This is not an attack.

Before I continue, kindly answer this comprehension check:

Excellent. If you selected YES, please DM me and explain your answer, if you're so inclined.

Anyway: this essay won't be anywhere near as long as the previous sections. I wrote it on my phone over the course of a few hours, because if I dwell on this too long, I fear I'll get impossibly nasty. However, in the wake of the latest WYTYAA update on January 14, I want to update and clarify my stance on the work as an analyst of the Skybound fic scene.

I will open by saying that I barely made it a quarter of the way into chapter seven before tapping out. The only reason I opened it at all and stepped into the courtyard, so to speak, was because I had heard that it would be Nya-centric. Given the usual balance of Nya-centric work, I thought that might mean a welcome change (and a distraction from the October retcon). Maybe, I thought, it would be fine.

To be fair: I don't think the author retconned in anything beyond mild SA for Nya. However, working my way into the outer edges of the chapter, I could feel my enthusiasm deflating - because I'd seen all the talking points before, in some form or another. The uncomfortable touches, the weirdly detailed fear of what Nadakhan might have done to Nya had the final battle failed, the night terrors. Well, at least it was Nya-centric -

And then there came the Jay angst. That's when I switched to scanning, which saved me precious time. It became obvious early on that somehow, chapter seven had managed to make the entire fic into the average of the entire SA trend I railed against in the previous parts of this essay. In the interest of not spoiling it for anyone who would like to go and read it themselves, I won't say anything, except for that it is exactly what you would expect from the comedown of a Jay SA Skybound work: night terrors and scars and flashbacks and team members throwing concerned comments and shades of therapy dog Nya. Any goodness I remember from the injured canary of the last segment went down like acid now that I could see what it built to.

I quit before I passed the three-quarters point on the scroll bar. If the October retcon was one nail in the coffin, chapter seven was a whole hardware store poured on my head.

In short: no longer worth my reader's time. It solidified so much of what disappoints me about the Skybound fic scene and the runaway fanonization of Jay's suffering.

That's why I'm writing this:to tell you that I have made the decision to leave WYTYAA in the rearview. I will not be reading the finale, whatever that may entail. I have already deleted my bookmarks.

In the previous essay section, I labeled WYTYAA as a seminal piece of work in the scene. I still believe that it is an important piece of Skybound fanfiction. But now, I view its seminal status as an undergrad getting their general education credits would see the writings of Freud. If you've ever taken a psych course, you were probably handed something Freudian to study, then learned of the controversy around his works. Still, there was probably an important note in there: Freud's work itself is not something everyone agrees with, and in fact is rather flawed in hindsight, but his work is influential enough on the world of psychology to be a crucial lesson in Psychology 101.

Is WYTYAA essential reading to understand the scene as a whole? Yes, to a degree - it is at minimum a shortcut to understanding most of the trends and watching them in action. WYTYAA is relentless like that, and I do still admire the dedication it takes to write something that long and keep a reader base hooked. Read as a summary of the entire fic scene at once, this is an incredible work.

By no means am I presenting myself as the sole authority on this topic, by the way - but then again, nobody else I know has tried to do this sort of meta trend analysis in any capacity for this specific topic. So I'm stuck with me, and you are too, if you'd like to be.

And maybe you don't care, but I do. A lot.

In the wake of me giving up on the chapter, I opened Tumblr and was bombarded with excitement for the chapter, and praise for the angst capacity, and all sorts of things - the crowd reenacting the death of the canary at the company party. I saw Mondo's promotional post, which in past weeks I might have left a like on, but I just. Could. Not.

Now we're here.

What does it all mean?

Well, recently, the topic of SA insertion in Skybound has come up a lot. I've been part of some some incredible discussions; I've seen a few scuffles. It's died down some, with only minor flare-ups here and there. As much as I find discussing this topic and defending my stance thrilling, it's not honestly doing much. It's drawing lines, I think. The Tumblr courtyard feels tense these days whenever Skybound comes up.

So: with the decision to abandon my reading of WYTYAA, I've also decided I'm going to try and focus more on my own works - writing fic and analysis that work against the insane, unfair fanon trends. Even if nobody reads them, I will know that I have done my absolute best to influence the scene in my own small way. You'll probably still see me pop into the SA insertion discussion if it comes up, because I do feel strongly enough about it to keep fighting back.

But to protect my own sanity: I'm burning that birdcage down. I'm walking away from the company party corner. I'm not even going to bother checking back on WYTYAA, because there is no new shock left to find.

Challenge me, if you'd like. It's only fair. For now, though: I'm taking a breath at my desk.

[meaningofgrayx]

hey, isn’t that GRAHAM 'GRAY' NOVELLO, who looks a little like LUKE PASQUALINO? i hear HE/HIM is a 34 year old CIS MAN who works as a GALLERY MANAGER and ART INSTRUCTOR who has been in town for A LOT OF HIS LIFE. they AREN’T a member of one of aspen creek’s founding families. you can usually find them at SUNNYVALE COMMONS or WILLOW CREEK GALLERY (where he works). if you ask me, they remind me a lot of coffee cups on a art covered desk, vintage cameras, fresh herbs in the kitchen, rustic pasta dishes and old-world charm. just keep an eye on them & see if their true colors shine through!

FULL NAME: Graham Perry Novello NICKNAME: Gray DATE OF BIRTH: 19th September 1990 AGE: 34 BIRTHPLACE: Aspen Creek, North Carolina GENDER: Cis Man PRONOUNS: he/him OCCUPATION: Artist and Gallery Assistant, Art Class Instructor EDUCATION: Art Degree from New York School of Visual Arts FACE CLAIM: Luke Pasqualino

BIOGRAPHY

Graham, affectionately known as Gray, was born in Aspen Creek, North Carolina, to Italian parents from Sicily and Naples. Though he grew up in pretty Aspen Creek with his parents, he has a large extended family in Italy, whom he remains very close to and visits often. Gray’s parents, Maria and Richard, were teenagers when he was born, marrying a year later. His mother is a kindergarten teacher, and his father owns a construction company. At 18, Gray's parents had his much younger brother, James. Supported and deeply loved, Gray had a stable, joyful childhood and often spent his holidays with grandparents and cousins in Italy.

Gray is a social and talkative person, making friends easily and charming those around him. Always encouraged by his parents to pursue his passions, Gray grew up confident, sometimes coming across a bit spoilt, but he has a good heart. Though he can be emotional and is known for a somewhat short temper, he is quick to apologise and dislikes upsetting others. Gray’s deepest love has always been his art; since childhood, he’s carried a sketchbook and camera everywhere he goes. As a teenager, he poured his creativity into set design for school plays and actively participated in the photography club. Excelling in academics, he earned a place at the New York School of Visual Arts.

After completing his degree, Gray spent time travelling across Europe, Australia, and parts of the U.S., searching for artistic inspiration and exploring the world through his camera lens and drawings. He eventually settled in Italy for a few years, where he worked at his uncle’s restaurant and lived with his cousin. During this time, he took a part-time job at a gallery, which only solidified his passion for art. Gray also worked as a freelance graphic designer, creating logos, illustrations, and photography for various events. In his late twenties, he decided it was time to return to his hometown of Aspen Creek.

Now 34, Gray works as a manager in a local gallery and museum in Aspen Creek. He also runs art classes at the gallery, where he teaches students of all ages and skill levels. Gray lives in a nice apartment near the gallery and is often out enjoying food and drinks with friends. A dedicated foodie, he loves cooking, a skill he learned from his mother, and often takes charge in the kitchen. An organised person, he can’t stand mess, a quirk his friends and family have come to accept.

Gray loves being close to family again and spends a lot of time with his parents and his now 15-year-old brother, James. Energetic and full of life, Gray is constantly on the go, but as he gets older, he dreams of finding someone special, hoping to build a future and settle down, ideally, to have the lasting love his parents share.