#constellation room

[sinceileftyoublog]

Home Is Where Interview: We’re Already Here

Photo by Texas Smith

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“It���s a whale.” That’s how Home Is Where vocalist Brandon MacDonald answered to me, over email, my question, “What’s the story behind the cover art?” referring to the front of their incredible sophomore record the whaler (Wax Bodega). On the surface, given the amount of energy she poured into writing and recording the record--along with performing the songs on a nightly basis--I don’t blame her for the brevity. Dig deeper, and the whaler is riddled with simple verses, or at least direct statements chiding life’s paradoxes. They come sandwiched between comparatively complex verses likening the world to a self-eating organism, an animal or a human devouring its own entrails in an act of desperation. In its 35-minute runtime, the whaler journeys through cultural and sociopolitical history, from 9/11 to the death of Dale Earnhardt (Florida’s 9/11, as MacDonald says). It’s an emo concept record whose concept isn’t that far-fetched: We live in a world where we’re getting used to every day life getting more horrifying.

You can understand why the whaler is a mere reflection of real life for the Palm Coast, Florida quartet. It’s been an emotionally trying few years for MacDonald, who suffered a nervous breakdown in 2021. As the band released their debut album i became birds to critical acclaim, rendering them the unofficial ambassadors of fifth-wave emo, MacDonald transitioned. But as a result of horrific anti-trans legislation passed earlier this year in Florida, both she and guitarist Tilley Komorny, also trans, left the home state they loved in order to protect themselves. With this added context, the emotional outpour of the whaler becomes all the more powerful. MacDonald describes it on opener “skin meadow” as “spilling guts to the gutless;” “Forgive me for giving a shit!” she barks, on a song that contrasts Komorny’s gorgeous, twinkling Midwest emo guitar arpeggios with warbling singing saw, horns, and gang vocals scream-chanting the title. In general, the instrumentation and composition on the whaler thrillingly wavers between emo/hardcore and Americana, sometimes within the same song, emphasizing the band’s influences, and something that’s actually a positive cultural output from this godforsaken country.

The narrator on the whaler--whether that’s MacDonald herself, a character, or a collection of characters--concerns themselves with how we interact with both other individuals and society as a whole. On “lily pad pupils”, the titular whaler kills whales because, simply, it’s what they do. “I am the whaler,” MacDonald repeats as if to give the narrator’s life meaning, over Komorny’s banjo and Dan Pot’s pedal steel. A hangman brings flowers to an execution. Everyone is trying to extract beauty from an ugly situation. On the flipside, the loveless couple at the altar on “yes! yes! a thousand times yes!” are lying to themselves and each other, faking normalcy, getting eaten up by mosquitos as the song transforms from disco beat to hardcore blast, their camouflage wearing off. “9/12″ consists of twinkly piano, a sample of children speaking, and a single line: “And on September 12th, 2001, everyone went back to work.” It recalls the oft-memed picture of George W. Bush reading to a classroom, dumbfounded as he’s being told that planes have crashed into the Twin Towers. Everyone’s numb, and nobody knows how to react or move on. On a smaller scale, the twangy “daytona 500″ illustrates the cyclical aftermath of localized death: “Animal control came to collect last night’s roadkill form the roadside / Where fathers of drunk drivers plant a cross / For their loss when the wreck is hauled off,” MacDonald sings. Her sneer, knotty delivery, and imagery all recall Jeff Mangum, an admitted influence, from fever dreams of fluids and loose teeth to “lips knitted kissin' like pigeons shittin' on windshields.”

If there’s a line on the whaler that acts as the album’s thesis statement, it’s on “whaling for sport”. MacDonald knocks down the idea of a traditional higher being when she sings, “An all-knowing God doesn’t know what it’s like / To not know anything at all.” Twenty three years ago, Isaac Brock sang, “The universe is shaped exactly like the Earth / If you go straight long enough, you’ll end up where you were,” and MacDonald’s pearls of wisdom recall a similar idea. The folks uniquely positioned to comment on our hell-scape are not the usual talking heads--they’re the ones who on “chris farley” watch as a garden grows over a buried body, who on “floral organs” are “spitting teeth into each other's mouths back and forth until we make a smile.” The wheels of their racecars spin and spin, until they lurch into forward motion, even if they crash. the whaler ends on a tape loop, the same as the start of “skin meadow”. We wake up and do it all over again.

In the middle of their tour, MacDonald was nice enough to answer a few questions over email about the whaler, her writing style and mindset, and playing live. Read our exchange below, edited for length and clarity.

Photo credit: Texas Smith (Prairie Creek Productions)

Since I Left You: the whaler imagines a world where every day is 9/11 and we've become numb to tragedy. How close do you think we are to that world in reality?

Brandon MacDonald: Reality is subjective and easily manipulated. I wouldn't recognize it if you pointed it out. We’re already here. We've been here for a long time.

SILY: As sad as it is, some folks become numb to tragedy as a means of self-protection. Would you say that's the case for any of the characters on the record?

BM: I don't see it as self protection, I just see it as what happens after being inflicted with endless tragedy. The characters on the record are all different people, and at the same time, the same person. I don't feel protected by the numbness, just bored and afraid.

SILY: There's some tongue-in-cheek humor on the record, from Florida lore to a song named after Chris Farley. How important is humor to you as a coping mechanism, writing strategy, or both?

BM: My grandmother always says after something rough happens that, “If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry.” That's where some of the funny comes from. It’s hysterical and unnerving.

SILY: Despite the song "9/12", you've posited that 9/11 was the true turning point in our history, a before-and-after type event. Do you feel that way about any other world events or eras, even if not quite as impactful?

BM: When Dale Earnhardt died. That was Florida's 9/11. Praise Dale.

SILY: Were there any newfound musical influences on the record?

BM: Not really. We just stuck to what we like. Bob Dylan, The Beach Boys, Joan Of Arc, Hank Williams. things like that.

SILY: Do you pay attention to reviews of your music or what the general public says about it? Has your relationship to the record changed at all since it's come out?

BM: I see some--I don't really think about it too much. The record is complicated for me because the writing happened during a really dark period, but recording it and touring on it has been the most fun I've had. I like that some folks like it.

SILY: The record has such a wide array of instruments on it. How do you adapt these songs to a live performance?

BM: We have very different approaches to playing them live than in the studio. I want the songs live to be intimate and fun. In the studio, I can't help but want to add layers and mess around. Some of the more dense songs are strange to play at first, but folks don’t seem to mind the absence of certain instruments. Maybe we don’t need them at all?

SILY: You recently shared a tribute compilation for I Became Birds. Even if not part of the same "scene," how would you describe the kinship you feel with the bands that were included on there?

BM: I don't really know what the scene is. I just have some friends, and they make good music. I admire all the acts on the comp. We all owe a lot to Heccra for what all of us are doing with music, whether we know it or not. He's the first.

SILY: What's next for Home Is Where?

BM: LP3. DVD copy of Barnyard.

Home Is Where tour dates:

7/13/2023 Nashville, TN Drkmttr 7/14/2023 Atlanta, GA The Masquerade 7/15/2023 Orlando, FL Wills Pub 9/13/2023 Phoenix, AZ The Rebel Lounge 9/14/2023 Santa Ana, CA Constellation Room 9/15/2023 Los Angeles, CA Knitting Factory NoHo 9/16/2023 Berkeley, CA 924 Gilman 9/19/2023 Portland, OR Holocene 9/20/2023 Seattle, WA El Corazón 9/22/2023 Salt Lake City, UT The Beehive 9/23/2023 Colorado Springs, CO Vultures

[colorfuldragons]

astral magister [outfit=2679796]

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[definitely-jax]

[aro-ace-fangirl]

Shout out to people who know Jack Shit about their hyperfixations. Shout out to folks who will just get so into something to the point that they just can’t interact with it because they like it too much.

Shout out to the collective that don’t care about the media as a whole but really REALLY like One Character from it. Shout out to the ones who won’t read or watch or whatever the things they like in favor of just inhaling a single wiki page.

Shout out to the kids that couldn’t care less about the media but will read endless fan works about it because frankly, that’s what you wanted in the first place.

[karistiltskin]

sometimes i think about how my life can’t get any fucking worse but then i think about how jegulus only got more and more tragic over the years🤣

[futura-starfield]

Photos from the Lodge

[headphonemouse]

redraw (light mode users try clicking it! dark mode users there's a solid version below)

My favorite tags from @borealiszero that gave me the strength to finish this

[saintadeline]

My latest normal person project that took me a thousand years. They're probably about 6ft tall

[crystaltearspo]

kindaa the marauders fandom merch??? 🌌

[jarsfullofstarrs]

did @elysianfroggies Nine Days Of Lennon art challenge for his birthday :) <33

anyroad day 9 under the cut

[cryptidsnackpack]

What the Constellation Companions Smell Like:

Barrett:

Fresh baked cookies

Tranquilitea (Classic)

Lavender soap

Sarah:

Clean linens

Potting soil

Gardenia perfume

Andreja:

Neroli & Bergamot hair oil

Gun metal

Cinnamon toothpaste

Sam:

Ashta leather

Oatmeal

Cedar & Amber cologne

[clownsnake]

OOOH HES YELLING

(Spoilers for Orv in the tags, bc I’m commentating now I guess)

[rabbitcruiser]

National Wear Your Pearls Day              

Created by author and motivational speaker DeAnna Bookert, National Wear Your Pearls Day reminds us that out of the many trials and tragedies that come in life, beauty is often created, just as how a pearl starts as an irritant in a mollusk but ends up becoming a precious gem. Pearls come in many shapes, sizes, and colors, just as people face many different trials in their lives, and pearls develop layer by layer, just as people become stronger as they grow and work to protect themselves. Bookert started the “annual depression and anxiety awareness campaign” because she saw pearls as representing her own life story and struggle with depression, and she wanted to help those going through similar circumstances as herself. Pearls are worn today more than just to show off one’s style. As Bookert has said of her own observance of the day, “I wear pearls as a reminder that I have purpose and value.”

Pearls are formed by some mollusks—including some saltwater and freshwater oysters, as well as by some freshwater clams—when they defend themselves from intruders by secreting a substance, mother-of-pearl, from their mantle, an organ that covers the inside of their shells. Although tradition says pearls are formed from sand or dirt particles, the irritant most often is a parasitic organism that has burrowed its way into the mollusk’s soft tissues and organs. After being covered by three or four layers a day for at least two years of the extremely thin mother-of-pearl, the parasite becomes a pearl.

The color of a pearl depends on the mollusk and its environment. There are many different shades, from white to black and everything in between. The smallest pearls are called seed pearls, while the largest are baroque pearls, which are irregularly shaped pearls. Pearls from saltwater mollusks are often known as Oriental pearls, while pearls from freshwater mollusks are simply called freshwater pearls. Pearls are valuable because they are quite rare, with only about one in 10,000 mollusks that are capable of producing pearls actually doing so. The more luster a pearl has and more perfectly shaped it is, the more value it has. Pearls are most often found on necklaces and other jewelry. On National Wear Your Pearls Day, pearls are worn not only as a fashion statement but to display the resilience and inner strength of those who wear them.

How to Observe

Celebrate the day by wearing pearls! Wear them not just to show you are fashionable, but as a symbol of your inner strength and beauty, to remind yourself of your value no matter your current circumstances, and to raise awareness about anxiety and depression. If you don’t have any pearls, today is the perfect day to buy them! Although they are more often associated with feminine attire, today is just as much for men as it is for women.

Source

[strongermonster]

i'm in the middle of painting my bedroom, which is going Eh bc i want a very specific colour, but the lightbulb colour + basement darkness has made this an annoying trial and error in paint matching. however, i discovered only now in my life that plain ol' black + regular old yellow makes green.

i didn't know that??? i feel like... i shoudl've known that. was i not taught this when i was 8 or something?? it's making me feel 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ that i didn't know? it makes such a good green too

i hate this bc i feel like it was something that—now that i'm looking at it swatched out—i'm like "duh yeah, that's obvious, you knew that." but i just spent 4 days in a paint-fume-fuelled mania mixing greens, yellows, blues, reds, coppers, whites, blacks, etc to find a Perfect Green, and she was there in 2 colours all along...

[kaienmaru]

@scentofcamellias ( cont. )

though takasugi cuts himself off, tatsuma can kind of guess what the remaining words in the sentence were. thinking, i guess that's just how it is when you're best friends, he smiles, fond in spite of his jealousy. to have someone that you can argue with one moment and have them watch your back in battle the next is a priceless thing, a privilege, though it may not seem like one on the surface. takasugi, for one, will probably call him an idiot if he says it out loud.

but his current proximity to them is also a privilege in its own right. not just in the physical sense, but emotionally as well. while climbing up the ranks had been his goal from the beginning, he quickly comes to the conclusion that being part of the generals' inner circle might not be feasible. terrible first impression aside, the bond between those three is deep and inseverable, even someone as ignorant and inexperienced in the matters such as himself can tell, and he is captivated by it, a moth to a flame.

but before he knows it, they've grown closer somehow; even—or, unbeknownst to him, especially—with takasugi, whose emotional wall seemed to be the tallest at first glance. of course, what he has with them is not the same as what they have with each other, and he suspects it never will be, but even this is more than he ever thought possible. no longer is he an outsider looking in, he's now close enough to fully bask in the warmth, for it to chase away the loneliness that has long resided within him.

“ahahaha, i was the one who miscalculated when to fully step in, so i share some part of the blame!” he replies, even throwing in a grin for extra reassurance at takasugi's guilt-ridden gaze, “i see now why zura didn't even bother trying. but you were starting to scare the others, so i had to do something.”

in lieu of an apology, takasugi offers to get him some ice. not that he was waiting for one to begin with. his intervention had promptly ended the argument, and that's all that matters.

“i'm flattered that you think i can walk around with one of my eyes in this state,” he snickers, “but sure, leader, i'll wait for you here like a good boy.”