#constellation room

[sinceileftyoublog]

Home Is Where Interview: We’re Already Here

Photo by Texas Smith

BY JORDAN MAINZER

“It’s a whale.��� That’s how Home Is Where vocalist Brandon MacDonald answered to me, over email, my question, “What’s the story behind the cover art?” referring to the front of their incredible sophomore record the whaler (Wax Bodega). On the surface, given the amount of energy she poured into writing and recording the record--along with performing the songs on a nightly basis--I don’t blame her for the brevity. Dig deeper, and the whaler is riddled with simple verses, or at least direct statements chiding life’s paradoxes. They come sandwiched between comparatively complex verses likening the world to a self-eating organism, an animal or a human devouring its own entrails in an act of desperation. In its 35-minute runtime, the whaler journeys through cultural and sociopolitical history, from 9/11 to the death of Dale Earnhardt (Florida’s 9/11, as MacDonald says). It’s an emo concept record whose concept isn’t that far-fetched: We live in a world where we’re getting used to every day life getting more horrifying.

You can understand why the whaler is a mere reflection of real life for the Palm Coast, Florida quartet. It’s been an emotionally trying few years for MacDonald, who suffered a nervous breakdown in 2021. As the band released their debut album i became birds to critical acclaim, rendering them the unofficial ambassadors of fifth-wave emo, MacDonald transitioned. But as a result of horrific anti-trans legislation passed earlier this year in Florida, both she and guitarist Tilley Komorny, also trans, left the home state they loved in order to protect themselves. With this added context, the emotional outpour of the whaler becomes all the more powerful. MacDonald describes it on opener “skin meadow” as “spilling guts to the gutless;” “Forgive me for giving a shit!” she barks, on a song that contrasts Komorny’s gorgeous, twinkling Midwest emo guitar arpeggios with warbling singing saw, horns, and gang vocals scream-chanting the title. In general, the instrumentation and composition on the whaler thrillingly wavers between emo/hardcore and Americana, sometimes within the same song, emphasizing the band’s influences, and something that’s actually a positive cultural output from this godforsaken country.

The narrator on the whaler--whether that’s MacDonald herself, a character, or a collection of characters--concerns themselves with how we interact with both other individuals and society as a whole. On “lily pad pupils”, the titular whaler kills whales because, simply, it’s what they do. “I am the whaler,” MacDonald repeats as if to give the narrator’s life meaning, over Komorny’s banjo and Dan Pot’s pedal steel. A hangman brings flowers to an execution. Everyone is trying to extract beauty from an ugly situation. On the flipside, the loveless couple at the altar on “yes! yes! a thousand times yes!” are lying to themselves and each other, faking normalcy, getting eaten up by mosquitos as the song transforms from disco beat to hardcore blast, their camouflage wearing off. “9/12″ consists of twinkly piano, a sample of children speaking, and a single line: “And on September 12th, 2001, everyone went back to work.” It recalls the oft-memed picture of George W. Bush reading to a classroom, dumbfounded as he’s being told that planes have crashed into the Twin Towers. Everyone’s numb, and nobody knows how to react or move on. On a smaller scale, the twangy “daytona 500″ illustrates the cyclical aftermath of localized death: “Animal control came to collect last night’s roadkill form the roadside / Where fathers of drunk drivers plant a cross / For their loss when the wreck is hauled off,” MacDonald sings. Her sneer, knotty delivery, and imagery all recall Jeff Mangum, an admitted influence, from fever dreams of fluids and loose teeth to “lips knitted kissin' like pigeons shittin' on windshields.”

If there’s a line on the whaler that acts as the album’s thesis statement, it’s on “whaling for sport”. MacDonald knocks down the idea of a traditional higher being when she sings, “An all-knowing God doesn’t know what it’s like / To not know anything at all.” Twenty three years ago, Isaac Brock sang, “The universe is shaped exactly like the Earth / If you go straight long enough, you’ll end up where you were,” and MacDonald’s pearls of wisdom recall a similar idea. The folks uniquely positioned to comment on our hell-scape are not the usual talking heads--they’re the ones who on “chris farley” watch as a garden grows over a buried body, who on “floral organs” are “spitting teeth into each other's mouths back and forth until we make a smile.” The wheels of their racecars spin and spin, until they lurch into forward motion, even if they crash. the whaler ends on a tape loop, the same as the start of “skin meadow”. We wake up and do it all over again.

In the middle of their tour, MacDonald was nice enough to answer a few questions over email about the whaler, her writing style and mindset, and playing live. Read our exchange below, edited for length and clarity.

Photo credit: Texas Smith (Prairie Creek Productions)

Since I Left You: the whaler imagines a world where every day is 9/11 and we've become numb to tragedy. How close do you think we are to that world in reality?

Brandon MacDonald: Reality is subjective and easily manipulated. I wouldn't recognize it if you pointed it out. We’re already here. We've been here for a long time.

SILY: As sad as it is, some folks become numb to tragedy as a means of self-protection. Would you say that's the case for any of the characters on the record?

BM: I don't see it as self protection, I just see it as what happens after being inflicted with endless tragedy. The characters on the record are all different people, and at the same time, the same person. I don't feel protected by the numbness, just bored and afraid.

SILY: There's some tongue-in-cheek humor on the record, from Florida lore to a song named after Chris Farley. How important is humor to you as a coping mechanism, writing strategy, or both?

BM: My grandmother always says after something rough happens that, “If I didn’t laugh, I’d cry.” That's where some of the funny comes from. It’s hysterical and unnerving.

SILY: Despite the song "9/12", you've posited that 9/11 was the true turning point in our history, a before-and-after type event. Do you feel that way about any other world events or eras, even if not quite as impactful?

BM: When Dale Earnhardt died. That was Florida's 9/11. Praise Dale.

SILY: Were there any newfound musical influences on the record?

BM: Not really. We just stuck to what we like. Bob Dylan, The Beach Boys, Joan Of Arc, Hank Williams. things like that.

SILY: Do you pay attention to reviews of your music or what the general public says about it? Has your relationship to the record changed at all since it's come out?

BM: I see some--I don't really think about it too much. The record is complicated for me because the writing happened during a really dark period, but recording it and touring on it has been the most fun I've had. I like that some folks like it.

SILY: The record has such a wide array of instruments on it. How do you adapt these songs to a live performance?

BM: We have very different approaches to playing them live than in the studio. I want the songs live to be intimate and fun. In the studio, I can't help but want to add layers and mess around. Some of the more dense songs are strange to play at first, but folks don’t seem to mind the absence of certain instruments. Maybe we don’t need them at all?

SILY: You recently shared a tribute compilation for I Became Birds. Even if not part of the same "scene," how would you describe the kinship you feel with the bands that were included on there?

BM: I don't really know what the scene is. I just have some friends, and they make good music. I admire all the acts on the comp. We all owe a lot to Heccra for what all of us are doing with music, whether we know it or not. He's the first.

SILY: What's next for Home Is Where?

BM: LP3. DVD copy of Barnyard.

Home Is Where tour dates:

7/13/2023 Nashville, TN Drkmttr 7/14/2023 Atlanta, GA The Masquerade 7/15/2023 Orlando, FL Wills Pub 9/13/2023 Phoenix, AZ The Rebel Lounge 9/14/2023 Santa Ana, CA Constellation Room 9/15/2023 Los Angeles, CA Knitting Factory NoHo 9/16/2023 Berkeley, CA 924 Gilman 9/19/2023 Portland, OR Holocene 9/20/2023 Seattle, WA El Corazón 9/22/2023 Salt Lake City, UT The Beehive 9/23/2023 Colorado Springs, CO Vultures

[colorfuldragons]

astral magister [outfit=2679796]

[wyvernity]

sss day my favorite national holiday WOOOOHHHH

bonus

[definitely-jax]

[aro-ace-fangirl]

Shout out to people who know Jack Shit about their hyperfixations. Shout out to folks who will just get so into something to the point that they just can’t interact with it because they like it too much.

Shout out to the collective that don’t care about the media as a whole but really REALLY like One Character from it. Shout out to the ones who won’t read or watch or whatever the things they like in favor of just inhaling a single wiki page.

Shout out to the kids that couldn’t care less about the media but will read endless fan works about it because frankly, that’s what you wanted in the first place.

[karistiltskin]

sometimes i think about how my life can’t get any fucking worse but then i think about how jegulus only got more and more tragic over the years🤣

[futura-starfield]

Photos from the Lodge

[headphonemouse]

redraw (light mode users try clicking it! dark mode users there's a solid version below)

My favorite tags from @borealiszero that gave me the strength to finish this

[saintadeline]

My latest normal person project that took me a thousand years. They're probably about 6ft tall

[crystaltearspo]

kindaa the marauders fandom merch??? 🌌

[jarsfullofstarrs]

did @elysianfroggies Nine Days Of Lennon art challenge for his birthday :) <33

anyroad day 9 under the cut

[cryptidsnackpack]

What the Constellation Companions Smell Like:

Barrett:

Fresh baked cookies

Tranquilitea (Classic)

Lavender soap

Sarah:

Clean linens

Potting soil

Gardenia perfume

Andreja:

Neroli & Bergamot hair oil

Gun metal

Cinnamon toothpaste

Sam:

Ashta leather

Oatmeal

Cedar & Amber cologne

[clownsnake]

OOOH HES YELLING

(Spoilers for Orv in the tags, bc I’m commentating now I guess)

[strongermonster]

i'm in the middle of painting my bedroom, which is going Eh bc i want a very specific colour, but the lightbulb colour + basement darkness has made this an annoying trial and error in paint matching. however, i discovered only now in my life that plain ol' black + regular old yellow makes green.

i didn't know that??? i feel like... i shoudl've known that. was i not taught this when i was 8 or something?? it's making me feel 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️ that i didn't know? it makes such a good green too

i hate this bc i feel like it was something that—now that i'm looking at it swatched out—i'm like "duh yeah, that's obvious, you knew that." but i just spent 4 days in a paint-fume-fuelled mania mixing greens, yellows, blues, reds, coppers, whites, blacks, etc to find a Perfect Green, and she was there in 2 colours all along...

[kaienmaru]

@scentofcamellias ( cont. )

though takasugi cuts himself off, tatsuma can kind of guess what the remaining words in the sentence were. thinking, i guess that's just how it is when you're best friends, he smiles, fond in spite of his jealousy. to have someone that you can argue with one moment and have them watch your back in battle the next is a priceless thing, a privilege, though it may not seem like one on the surface. takasugi, for one, will probably call him an idiot if he says it out loud.

but his current proximity to them is also a privilege in its own right. not just in the physical sense, but emotionally as well. while climbing up the ranks had been his goal from the beginning, he quickly comes to the conclusion that being part of the generals' inner circle might not be feasible. terrible first impression aside, the bond between those three is deep and inseverable, even someone as ignorant and inexperienced in the matters such as himself can tell, and he is captivated by it, a moth to a flame.

but before he knows it, they've grown closer somehow; even—or, unbeknownst to him, especially—with takasugi, whose emotional wall seemed to be the tallest at first glance. of course, what he has with them is not the same as what they have with each other, and he suspects it never will be, but even this is more than he ever thought possible. no longer is he an outsider looking in, he's now close enough to fully bask in the warmth, for it to chase away the loneliness that has long resided within him.

“ahahaha, i was the one who miscalculated when to fully step in, so i share some part of the blame!” he replies, even throwing in a grin for extra reassurance at takasugi's guilt-ridden gaze, “i see now why zura didn't even bother trying. but you were starting to scare the others, so i had to do something.”

in lieu of an apology, takasugi offers to get him some ice. not that he was waiting for one to begin with. his intervention had promptly ended the argument, and that's all that matters.

“i'm flattered that you think i can walk around with one of my eyes in this state,” he snickers, “but sure, leader, i'll wait for you here like a good boy.”

[mutsukiss]

Gasp videogame rant #cringe #duchatecabron

I've started to play acnh again and I got the DLC and all bc im an adult with a job, but the downside is that when I look at the tags to see what the community is talking abt (I know) I have to read ppl who try to 100% speedrun the game while attempting to ultracustomize it beyond recognition, and then complain the mechanics or the game itself suck bc they can't fit 2938 items in a 4x4 area. I'm sorry to break the news to you but you are trying to play the sims. And this is in fact not the sims. You don't enjoy the crafting mechanics and you think the dialogue is superfluous bc you claim you want cozy cute animal uwu relaxing game but you are flipping chairs over spending 7 hours trying to find the specific villager everyone has been babbling non stop for 4 years instead of going "ah the piggie is funny :) I should bring it to my island :)".

You are, in fact, not supposed to obtain the full item catalogue in two weeks; and you have the tools to terraform the map beyond recognition and add a hundred hyperrealistic custom path designs from some chinese player who has recreated the city of Chicago on their switch, but it hardly means that is the main purpose of the game and the fact that you find it so frustrating to play in that way should already be telling you clearly enough that you are attempting to play in a way that is not the one the game was designed to follow you through.

You can make a functioning computer in minecraft, but you have to be dumb to get angry at the game for being bad at being a computer. That is not what the gameplay was designed for. Why don't you stop farming tickets and sit with the little animals while they sing and maybe you'll calm down and enjoy the game.