#considering they were respectful of my budget and my preferences

[despite-everything]

bought a new speaker and i fucking hate it. what kind of incompetent idiot recommends a speaker without mentioning the caveat that it's shit without using an app alongside it, and you can't even set it up without an app? i fucking hate this.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

A Rite Of Passage: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2.3k

Summary: A case brings you to a small town in Texas that is close to Mexico's border. Someone is killing people who illegally cross the border, and he's a lot closer than you think.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"A lion's work hours are only when he's hungry; once he's satisfied, the predator and prey live peacefully together." - Chuck Jones

"Hey, where's Hotch?" Emily asks when she walks into the briefing room.

"Budget meeting."

"Maybe he'll give us a raise," Derek jokes.

"They're cutting, not raising. I just hope they don't take the coffee."

"I'd quit," Spencer says.

"Oh, yeah. That'll save 'em like fifty bucks a week."

"Hotch will meet us on the plane," JJ says when she walks in.

"Where are we going?"

"Last night, three decapitated heads were found in front of a sheriff's station in the small border town of Terlingua, Texas."

She passes out the file on the victims which includes pictures of their crime scenes.

"Three victims at once?"

"Actually, they appear to be in different stages of decomposition."

"The ME confirmed that one of the heads is a day or so old. The other two appear to have died a few months ago, but the wound edges suggest that they were decapitated recently," JJ explains.

"There is dirt in their mouth, ears, and nose. At some point, these two heads were buried and then dug up."

"Okay, so why the sudden need to display them?" Emily asks.

"The need may not be so sudden. In Mexico, in 2009 alone, ten heads were in coolers and the people belonging to these heads were killed just hours before they were found. It's the result of a battle between feuding drug cartels."

"The DEA isn't interested?" you ask.

You'd think the Drug Enforcement Association would want a crack at this.

"They asked us to take a look at it. Considering the different decomposition, this might not even be about drugs."

"Alright, what do we have?"

"Well, the victims are two males and one female so there isn't a gender preference. Staging the heads in front of a sheriff's station is aggressive. All three victims are Hispanic and unidentified. Terlingua has a large illegal population. It's made IDing the victims that much harder."

"He might be trying to make some type of political statement. Volunteer border patrols do a lot of personal policing down there. Groups like the Minutemen prize law and order above everything else, and those patrols serve their political agenda. Murder would be bad for their image," Spencer explains.

"Staging the heads in front of a police station suggests that the unsub might be local. He'd have to have knowledge about how to do something like that without being seen. So, what we have is hundreds of miles of unincorporated desert and an endless supply of anonymous victims crossing the border every day."

"It's a serial killer's perfect storm," you sigh.

As JJ said, Hotch met you at the plane when he was done with his meeting.

"Explain this to me. The unsub hunts along the US-Mexico border. How big is that area?"

"Over five thousand square miles of desert," Spencer answers at the same time as you do.

The entire team stares at you two and you look away with heated cheeks.

"He could have gone undetected for years," Hotch says eventually.

"Why announce himself now?"

"What do we know about crime in Terlingua?" Rossi asks.

"It's a stop-over town. Immigrants stay only twenty-four hours before moving on, but that also makes them narco-trafficking hubs. Outside of immigration violations, most of the arrests are drug-related."

"That, my pretties, is an understatement." You look to your left and see Penelope's face on the screen. "Anyone familiar with the Lugo Cartel out of Baja, California? Their greatest hits include multiple brutal murders along with importing and distributing nearly two tons of cocaine and copious amounts of heroin between 1990 and 2009. Now, if we get in our BAU time machine, flash forward to now, a super cheap, highly addictive, and totally impure form of black tar heroin just showed up on the streets of Terlingua, and the DEA thinks the Lugo Cartel is directly responsible."

"They're expanding their operation which is often announced by a wave of violence. The Lugo Cartel killed two DEA agents last year. We're going to need to watch our backs. To Cartels, the Feds are fair game. There's even usually a bounty, so we're going to bring in the toys," Derek talks about the big weapons.

"Be careful with those. I don't need broken MP-5s on our budget," Hotch says.

"Guys, here's the thing. I don't think I technically have authorization to carry a weapon like that," Spencer says.

"You don't," Derek and Hotch say at the same time.

You reach over and put your hand on his arm. You want to grab his hand but he still has a gross ick when it comes to germs. Yes, he held your hand when you were going through it with prison but that was because he decided to. You don't want him to feel like his choice is being taken away when it comes to germs. Instead, you touch something much safer like his arm.

"You know, we're going to have a victim pool that is extremely hesitant to talk to us."

"Prentiss, you and Morgan start with the migrant community, see what inroads you can make. Stress that we're only there to catch a killer. Rossi, Y/N, and Reid, the ME is waiting to show you the heads."

"Maybe they can tell us something," you say.

The entire department only consists of five people including the sheriff. When Hotch and JJ got to the station, eight men were posted outside of it. The fact that they had eight despite there only being five officers inside shows that they outnumber them, asserting their dominance. Deputy Ronald Boyd isn't too worried about it only because those eight men are just a handful of men who work for Omar Morales, the head of the narco-trafficking ring. They picked him up this morning outside of town where he was heading to the airport.

Deputy Boyd would have talked to him only Sheriff Eva Ruiz wouldn't let her men talk to him. Hotch is worried about the men outside but she plans on ignoring them thinking they'll get hot and tired and go away on their own. The reason why she won't let her men talk to Omar is because she doesn't agree that they arrested the right man. The heads at the police station, in her opinion, are a message that demands for her to butt out. Just in the six months she's been Sheriff, there are more than twenty missing immigrants; that's more than three a month or one victim a week.

There hasn't been an official investigation because no one wants to be the snitch. However, she believes that someone has been killing for a lot longer than they let on. The Lugo Cartel kills to send a message, it's how they communicate but Eva seems to think otherwise.

You walk into the ME's office where there are heads in jars so that they can be preserved. You touch the side of the glass and allow the energy to paint you a picture. Fear. Desperation. The victims are running through the open desert as someone wearing a mask is chasing them on a quad made for the terrain. The victims are terrified for their lives but the unsub doesn't show any mercy.

"You know, contrary to popular belief, decapitation is not that easy," Spencer says, bringing you back.

"You don't often hear popular and decapitation In the same sentence," Rossi says.

"You'd need to strike on the weakest point of the spine. It's normally between the C3 and C7 vertebrae. There are multiple strikes but they don't show any hesitation."

"I realize you didn't have much to work with here but outside of the obvious, was there anything unusual about these victims?" Rossi asks the Me.

"The second victim appeared to have been blind, if not completely, then he had cataracts bad enough that it was difficult for him to get around."

"What about the other two?" you ask.

"No."

"I only had their teeth to go by but the most recent victim is older as well as the first one, the woman. It'll take some time to get an accurate age but I'm confident that they were older.'

"We're looking for something that we call a signature. Something that all the victims shared like a physical mark or something postmortem."

"I don't know if this is what you mean," she grabs the reports on them, "but they all had sand residue in their noses and throats."

"Could that be from being buried?" Spencer asks.

"Possibly, but the trachea and the nasal passage were kind of torn up. If I had the lungs here, I'd guess that they were full of sand as well like they breathed in the sand enough to lacerate the passages."

"They were running," you say. "The unsub chased them on quads through the desert. Trust me when I say he didn't show any mercy."

Hotch is able to talk to Omar who isn't too happy to talk to a Fed. Omar is cocky and arrogant only because he knows he or his crew didn't do these murders. If Omar had, he'd gut the victim from crotch to chin then leave the intestines open for the animals to eat. He'd send his hand to his wife, his eyes to his mother, and his tongue to his kids with a note saying their Daddy had died wetting himself. Omar doesn't believe that these murders are a message, none that he recognizes.

Hotch asks him about what he thought of the recent murders only because Omar likes to be a man in control. He has an army standing guard outside the station who will protect him because Omar has somehow convinced them that they need him, and Hotch expects to believe Omar doesn't know what's going on in his town? What Hotch is looking for, according to Omar, is Santa Muerte, the Saint of Death.

The Saint of Death is a drug dealer's version of a doctor's Raphael the Archangel or a cop's Saint Jude--someone they pray to. Omar has learned that someone loses track of the ways they can die when they cross the desert from Mexico. Sometimes, it's easier to blame a superstitious figure than someone real. Santa Muerte has been coming up more and more with the illegals Eva sends back, the coyotes she arrests, and the drug traffickers around town. All of them are afraid.

Evan once handled a homicide where her only witness was a four-year-old girl. She told Eva that her mom and dad were killed by a dragon. It turned out that the bad guy wore a green rainsuit with a pointy hood. To the little girl, it looked like a dragon. So, when hundreds of people are talking about the same monster, it's a sure bet that something is going on. They don't know what to call it so they settle on Santa Muerte.

With a town like this, you're not surprised that by the next morning, another murder has surfaced. This time, there is a head on a post right outside the Sheriff's house. The team heads over there along with some of her own men. You get there before her men do and you approach the head that hasn't been moved. You slide some gloves on and touch the side of his face delicately. This man was trying to cross the border last night with his family. He fell to the ground after not being able to continue either because he couldn't physically or he was sick. It doesn't matter. He was the only one left behind so the unsub targeted him until he killed him.

"I told you we should have kept that bastard locked up."

Eva let Omar go because there was nothing she could charge him with. The officers only had assumptions that he was involved with no evidence. You turn to look at Deputy Boyd and freeze in your steps. He walks past you without so much as a glance in your direction but he doesn't need you. The energy surrounding the head is the same as Deputy Boyd's. He either killed the man or he knew about it to move it to Eva's house. Your first instinct is to shout to the rooftops that Boyd is the unsub but you have to think about this through Hotch's eyes. He'll want evidence so you keep your mouth shut for now.

"I'm telling you for the last time, Boyd, go back on patrol," Eva says.

Boyd rolls his eyes but does as he's told.

"There isn't any decomposition. It's a new victim," Spencer says.

"He's becoming more focused on you, Sheriff. May I have a word?" Hotch asks. He and Eva step off to the side but you can still hear them. "It's clear that this is personal."

"It always was."

"How's that?"

"Look, I have no idea how many of these people have gone missing over the years, but one thing is clear. I'm the only one who seems to give a damn. That's as personal as it gets for me."

"We're here because we care."

"All I've got is a bunch of stories and superstitions. What if it isn't even happening?"

"Sheriff, I can't tell you how long this has been going on but something's definitely happening now. From the way the unsub is acting, it's obvious that you've touched a nerve. Whoever he is, I think you've probably talked to him."

Damn right, she has. He's right under her nose and she doesn't even know. You don't want to talk to her about this now because you don't want to freak her out when you don't have to.

"I've talked to anyone who will listen—drug dealers, immigrants, and even business owners."

"Well, one of them is your Santa Muerte and he's feeling the pressure. When we get back to the station, I want to go over every single interview you've done."

"How? Who are we even looking for?"

"We have a profile to give you and your deputies."

"Hotch, a word?" you butt in. He steps away from the Sheriff and joins your side. "I know I need evidence but you want to know what I saw when Deputy Boyd showed up? His energy matches the one on his head. I didn't see anything else but that can only mean one of two things—he's the one who killed him or he knew about it."

"Pay attention to his behavior during the profile. After, get your evidence."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[ciaossu-imagines]

zakuro (khr) + any questions from any of the prompts you have provided.

I think you’re spoiling me, my dear, with characters you know I love and I am very, very appreciative of that 😊 It means a lot to me! I enjoyed getting to pick something for him and I hope you’ll enjoy!

1. Name

Weird personal headcanon here, but I don’t think Zakuro is his birth name. I do think he kind of abandoned his birth name, and everything he was before, when he joined up with Byakuran. Zakuro was the new name that Byakuran gave to him, of course naming him after a flower, as Byakuran is wont to do. This was just another way for Zakuro to prove his loyalty and his complete servitude towards Byakuran, someone he considers a savior, someone who grants him a true shot at life.

16. Home/place that they live

It’s been shown that Zakuro comes from extreme poverty and I think that is something that is always reflected in his living spaces even after years of him having a stable, reliable income and not having to worry about money. He prefers to second-hand shop for furniture or to go to big box stores like IKEA. To him, the cost of something is always the most important thing and he struggles to buy something more expensive, even if he likes the looks of it, or if he finds it more comfortable, when there’s a cheaper option available. He counts himself lucky, honestly, just to have a roof consistently over his head. His apartment or living spaces are always very spartan, with just the minimal amount of furniture needed. His television is small and low-end, just performing what he needs it to do. He’s very frugal about a lot of things when it comes to his living quarters, including food and toiletries, a lot of which he’ll buy at something like the dollar tree.

32. Toxic traits

Zakuro is by no means a saint. He’s not even the nicest person, truth be told. He has a metric shit ton of flaws and faults. He’s stubborn and incredibly set in his ways. Even when proven wrong or even when he knows he should change, he has a need to dig his heels in and double down. He is easy to upset, being someone who gets cranky and irritable over the smallest of things and has a sharp tongue. He cheats at card games and whenever he thinks he can in a situation, if he feels it will help him out. He hates losing and can get overly competitive. He's too frugal to the point of being stingy at times.

33. Redeeming qualities

All those horrible things about his personality though? They’re not the entirety of who Zakuro is. He’s a complex person, with so much going on in his mind and his own rich internal world. He has just as many positive qualities as he has negative ones, even if they don’t show as obviously on the surface. When someone does earn his trust and respect, Zakuro is the most loyal person. He will follow his friend’s, lovers, or found family to the ends of the globe if need be. He’s going to be there for them, no matter what it is they need. While he might grouch and grump, he will always pull through for them. If anyone were to say anything bad about ‘his people’, he will tear them a new one and will put his all into defending them. Zakuro is also surprisingly empathetic. He’s been kicked around by life, given a real raw deal of it, and he knows pain and sorrow all too well, which makes him able to understand, accept, and sympathize with others who are going through rough times. Dealing with someone who is really going through is is one of the few times you’ll see Zakuro’s soft side. While he’s stingy, it’s something borne out of fear. He’s lazy when it comes to studying, but with financials, he’s actually really kind of a genius. He can set you up with a manageable budget, guide you on stocks and investments, and file your taxes. When it comes to things he’s interested in, he's willing to put in the work to learn, practice, train and figure them out, if they’re subjects or skills. Because he is such a flawed individual, who is aware of that fact about himself, he’s also someone who is more willingly to accept flaws in other people.

[edwinspaynes]

What are some of your thoughts for a TLH TV show? I'd love to hear about them

SO this is going to be a hot take but I would actually prefer an anime to a live action show for BOTH TID and TLH. I think that the demons, movements, and body horror elements (like Belial possessing people and having them burn to dust) would look way better in an anime format than CGI, and it would be really awesome. Also, they wouldn't need to blow their entire budget on early 1900s costumes and could make a really pretty show.

I think each season should cover one book, so 3 seasons. Perhaps in 8-10 episodes a piece. I would want an incredibly faithful adaptation though I would be down with them adding more romance and friendship scenes if they were organic.

Regardless, though, I have a lot of soundtrack-related opinions. I think it should be like how Bridgerton does modern songs reimagined as string quartet music because that's always really fun. As I said, Into You and The Louvre would be great for the Herondaisy and Thomastair sex scenes respectively, but like. Consider Taylor Swift's Gorgeous for Matthew and James walking into the ball at the beginning of ChoG. Ryn Weaver's Pierre in the background of the infirmary scene and the I'llllll come around when the scene changes. Boats n Birds by Gregory and the Hawks when James looks at Cordelia and has a Quiet Moment in Chain of Iron. Shit like that. Also a smashcut of THEY WAKE in the ChoT prologue to Imagine by Ariana Grande while Matthew and Cordelia wander through Paris. Like. Shit like this. I could go on for days. In My Head, Bejeweled... so many ideas. And of course Oscar Wilde by Company of Thieves on a Matthew scene! I should be allowed to pick all of the music. I'd be good at it.

I'd want them to really lean into the light academia of it all. Vibrant colors, detailed outfits, pretty animated sequences of rose petals settling into teacups. Give me ALL of it. Shining animated chessboards. The works.

[thelaithlyworm]

Daomu Biji in a Bottle

Since I’ve been posting a lot about the Daomu Biji|Lost Tomb seriesincessantly lately, to a bunch of mutuals I made friends with over such extremely related things as Star Trek and The Musketeers, I thought I’d… make a potted summary? Possibly I’m shilling for new viewers. Come. Join. The water isn’t deep at all…

Book Summary: Wu Xie, a respectable young man and trained architect, is also the descendant of a famous tomb-robber and wants an outing in the family trade. (Say good-bye to a quiet life, Wu Xie.) Adventure + Horror + Comedy + Epic Love Story + what looks like some pretty sincere zen philosophy. If you like epic platonic relationships, this series has your back. If you like epic, slow-burning romances, this series also has your back.  Books are up to around volume 16 I think? Which is a good thing because you’ve got lots to read, right? Right?

It also has a lot of adaptations…

(Note: Audience preferences can be very individual things. I’ve tried to give the vibe of each adaptation and what I think is good and what’s iffy, but honestly? Like what you like and watch what you want, more power to you.)

The Lost Tomb 1: The ‘A Little Clumsy But We’ve Got The Spirit’ adaptation. Wu Xie’s introductory tomb! Clearly on a budget but the scene composition is so nice and most of the characters so crackling I’m not going to sweat the flaccid snake tree or Xiaoge’s Emo Hair. The court drama flashback makes an interesting extension of the ‘unreliable narration’ theme the books love, and they throw in an Action Prologue and Epilogue.

Iffies: Wu Xie is a little mealy-mouthed in this version? The OCs High Jr. and Chastity Chen are frustratingly squeaky, even if they finish the story strong. The Action Epilogue got raided from a later book so it can be startling when you see it again.

The Lost Tomb 2: The ‘Do You Like Extra Content? We Like Extra Content’ adaptation. Covers the trip to the undersea tomb and the weird magic tree in the mountains, but also throws in a truckload of side stories, especially about characters who will become important later like Xie Yuchen, A-Ning, and Cox Hendry, and manages to sneak in some foreshadowing for the end of the main series. Scenery and action scenes are very nice. My favourite Young Wu Xie - so baby, so cute, so cheeky. (Weirdly good at continuity with Lost Tomb 1, down to Pangzi’s slightly grown out version of his LT1 hair.)

Iffies: If you prefer your leads on screen at all times, this is going to be a frustrating watch. The tomb scenes can be a little dark for some display-screens. Ends on a weird cliff-hanger.

The Lost Tomb 2.2 (Heavenly Palace): The ‘Hurt/Comfort’ adaptation. An extra-whumpy version of the first trip up Mt Changbai with, again, some side stories for Xie Yuchen & co. Weirdly out of continuity with Lost Tomb 2, considering it was made by the same production crew, but by this point I have embraced the weirdness. The sets are even more beautiful than for LT2 - lots of Shape and Chiaroscuro. An interesting if angsty relationship arc between Wu Xie and his bff Pangzi. Takes some liberties with the ending, which are rad in-and-of-themselves but mess with continuity for later seasons.

Iffies: Many long sequences of travelling quietly through wilderness spaces which isn’t everyone’s cuppa, I guess. Wu Xie has solid in-story reasons for being a nervy little bitch in this arc (recovering from a traumatic accident) but he’s still a nervy little bitch and not the plucky boy of earlier stories. He’s an acquired taste, is what I’m saying.

Ultimate Note: The ‘Genre Romance’ adaptation. The action scenes and Big Visuals were stripped down harshly, possibly for budget reasons. There are a couple of exceptions like Xinyue Restaurant, but mostly the action is bland connective tissue between shipping scenes and hurrying through the plot. It is definitely good at romance vibes: the leads have good chemistry, they get a lot of face time, the camera is good at picking up their interplay. It’s just weak at the Adventure/Thriller side of the story. If you like the leads on screen at all times, this is the one for you.

Iffies: Watching this after reading the books is a long litany of, ‘it was too much trouble to film this moody scene in the rain like canon so we did it on a sunny day, you don’t mind do you?’, ‘we couldn’t afford wildcats so you get spiders’, ‘that intense, fraught, and beautiful scene with the snake in the underground river was a bit tricky so we replaced it with a tank of shrimp’. Pop-music soundtrack. Nerfs the female characters. Chops out an important plot point - probably to appease the Airing Board tbf, but it doesn’t help story coherency any. 

[The Finale of the main book series is probably unfilmable; Tibetan Sea Flower hasn’t aired yet.]

Time Raiders: The ‘Steampunk AU’ adaptation. Ridiculous and beautiful. Tweaks Wu Xie to be even babier and his noodle-limbed love interest into a Big Buff Guy and I don’t care because they’re so much fun together. Kinda meta? (ie. If you take it as, ‘Series Wu Xie had this made just before Sand Sea’ it makes more sense.)

Iffies: Runs a little long for a movie. Has an ambitious ending which doesn’t quite land. It’s fun along the way, though.

Sand Sea: The ‘Book Plot But Glam’ adaptation, from that time where our plucky little hero Wu Xie has become a jaded and terrifying mob boss on a mission to destroy an ancient illuminati cult. Hooboy. It’s got the big action scenes and sweeping visuals; it’s got dust on the lens; it’s got tender emotional moments; it’s got utter goofballing. Amazing. Superb. Some good fucking food. Fills in gaps implied by the book plot (eg. what’s going on with the Jiumen) and buffs up a few story arcs (for example, the first trip to Gutongjing is considerably more fraught than its book version, and it’s strongly implied that Liang Wan gets laid. Good for her!)

Iffies: None. It’s perfect from start to finish. 

Reunion: The Sound of Providence: The ‘We Rewrote Almost All of the Book Plot’ adaptation. On the one hand, this is telling the story of the protagonist, now middle-aged and facing his mortality and it’s all poignant and touching and fraught and so on. On the other, the producers were trying not to lock out potential new viewers with all the previous continuity. So they did some rewrites - for example, Third Uncle’s time in the South Sea King Tomb now has a similar emotional weight as his time in novel-canon’s Shipwreck Tomb while being completely different in the details, and so forth - you get the vibe but not the continuity. I’d say that approach worked pretty well - this is the entrance point for a lot of fans. That said, it can be a touch confusing if you start here and then go to the earlier stories. Still, it’s a grand time - like Sand Sea it’s a lovely mix of action, angst, goofiness, and heartwarming. Cinematography is v. strong, though runs a little monochrome for my tastes. This is an adaptation that loves minor characters: along with the adventure shenanigans of the leads, key plots turn on the emotional lives and choices of a middle-aged hairdresser and two semi-random mooks. 

Iffies: Maybe two-thirds through Season 1, most of the lead characters disappear off-screen for the rest of the season and the lead gets to know A Whole New Bunch Of People (which can be a little startling). Season 2 blows right past the big climax of the book, then gives the characters a bit of a holiday, then throws them into another smallish adventure that technically ties up some loose ends while also being a bit, ‘Huh?’  (Being a bit ‘Huh?’ is a common feature of these stories.)

The Mystic Nine: The ‘When We Promised You Hijinks We Weren’t Lying But Please Also Ponder The Bittersweetness of Life and Love’ adaptation. This is a prequel centred on Fo-ye, a controversial figure by the standards of ‘the present’ of the series, but right now he’s a fairly uncomplicated hero. Fairly. When a good guy both works for the military while there’s a war on AND is firmly rooted in his city’s criminal underworld there’s a lot of chaos baked into his life. Action and scenery is a bit cartoony but well done cartoony, if that makes sense. There’s fairly tight plotting for about… 16 episodes? (once again, they rob the Xinyue Restaurant) and it’s great times with a train heist, and then the plot gets more discursive and jumpy and wandering. I liked it better the second time when I knew the shape of how things go? For all the tombs and jianghu feuding, a significant amount of time is spent on the Er-ye/Yatou and Fo-ye/Yin Xinyue relationships but I wouldn’t call them romances per se. They’re stories about love. ‘When you find the one who completes you and life is bliss for years but then they get sick and you go a little mad.’ ‘When you find the one who you might dare to open your heart to and it’s amazing! but also you’re a soldier and there’s a war on and they will spend so much time waiting for you…’ Bittersweet, is what I’m saying. 

Comes with four side movies about supporting characters and they are both interesting character studies and hilariously different in tone - Er-ye gets lofty opera vibes, Chen Pi is dirty and nasty and everyone’s horrible, Jiu-ye gets complicated, claustrophobic intrigue, and San-niang gets a deeply sad one about the horrors of the human heart when she’s only 15.

Iffies: As mentioned above, it can get v. discursive and the drama runs long. There are some neat female characters, but most of them don’t get much screen time.

Escape from the Monstrous Snake: the ‘Schlocky B-Movie’ adaptation. Features Hei Xiazi, the half-blind, corny, (very kind), immortal mercenary supporting character and a female OC who has absolutely zero useful skills, a tendency to scream, and relatable motivations. (I love her.) Mostly filmed on a sound-stage, and the version I watched on youtube has slightly dodgy sound. Good pace, good atmosphere, lovely character study of Hei Xiazi.

Iffies: It’s a schlocky B-movie: you get what you get. And Qi Ba and the other female merc didn’t die, no, they uh, they rescued themselves off-screen and then went home and got married…

Grave/Mystery of the Abyss: the ‘Schlocky B-Movie But We Have A Budget’ adaptation. Another reasonably simple monster movie with Hei Xiazi but this time with another recurring character, Xie Yuchen, as the co-lead. And those two go back a way. Whether you want to read that relationship as entirely platonic or ex-lovers, there is so much intimacy and care and regret in how the two characters move around each other it’s breathtaking. The action scenes are both fun in and of themselves and support the love story (how they move around each other taken up to 11).

Iffies: Well… the bugs and body horror can be unsettling? Otherwise, no iffies, it’s perfect of its kind.

Green Mountain Begonia: the ‘Homoerotic Subtext’ adaptation. Set in the Mystic Nine era but made by a different team so the cast and the continuity is a little different. This one covers Fo-ye first coming to Changsha and meeting Er-ye, a young opera-singer/action hero for the first time. It’s very, very pretty but I have trouble warming to it. Maybe its plot is a little fast to get to know the characters? Maybe I’m just too attached to the other M9.

Iffies: Paced a little quick. Well worth a look, though.

[There’s a donghua adaptation of the Qinling God Tree arc, and a manhua currently coming out, but I haven’t seen either. Likewise, the Time Raiders on-line game.]

Honestly, it's all good. Play around and have fun.

[castlebyersafterdark]

But it's one that just makes me go 🫤 when I think too hard about certain scenes haha

Oh, totally agree about the V formation being cheesy! it's one of my least favourite things about the show and why I almost consider s3 onwards to actually be a different show in some ways. perhaps they felt that because the characters were facing such strange phenomena, it called for a more cinematic visual blocking. but oddly it removes the sense of tension in the show, which is regular folk vs. supernatural.

I often wonder if they intended to make the show like this always, but simply didnt have the budget in the early days, which makes me sad - I'm someone who thinks constraints, especially in budget, are what call for heightened creativity and skill. S1 has amateurish moments, but the lack of fancy camerawork is actually what gives it the lived in feeling i think. and i love that. i'm an asymmetrical fan as well, so the centrism freaks me out a bit. centering needs respect and its very hard to do well! there's a thing called the rule of thirds you may know, where you split the screen into three and place objects of focus on either the left or right third. this is used beautifully when byler have their little chat on top of the car.

and yes, doe-eyed will is always wonderful no matter the lens. I also really like how the lighting team have never tried to hide either noah or finn's ethnic features. i love that noah as will has genuine spots in the opening close up of him painting. the skin texture is so lovely to see on screen when so often, excessive makeup is used. i appreciate that ST looks very natural when it comes to skin and hair. this is also why i enjoy the lame ass haircuts! the boys in the latest pic? theyre so lame its wonderful. love them so much.

That damn V formation - it's just not interesting or clever camera work! I adore the show and don't have very many drastic complaints about story-telling - a few, but not to get into here. There are some things like blocking that I personally would have done differently. It feels less authentic than it could be. Like of course it's a television show, but the goal is to immerse the audience. Believe it's real. Suspend our disbelief. Certain scenes and the way the actors are standing or reacting remind me it's actors acting and it takes me out of it. Like I know I'm watching television. Cheesy, I know, but that's the magic of filmmaking.

The style shift is so controversial. And I also wonder if it was intentional or not. Budget, increased scale, representing a change in the world expanding - it's not a small town mystery anymore and it can't stay that way if it was to always be a multi-season series by nature of the elements introduced. A lot prefer season 1 to anything else and - agree. Blows everything else out of the water by means of Stranger Things being so fresh and unique. But it had to go bigger, because of what they hinted at giving us. They have a story involving this extensive, mysterious other world, another dimension. It wasn't just a missing kid and a monster in the woods. They have this secretive, expansive government agency. It could never truly be small town contained. It had to go bigger to now go smaller, back to the roots. The entwining of the bigger picture back to the small town. It's all been a journey. But - yeah. Not everything is as seamless as it could be sometimes. Agree agree.

Rule of thirds, of course. Better, more dynamic framing is just more interesting to look at. Some staging looks like a movie poster. Fake. Stuff that's asymmetrical I personally feel is easier to look at on screen. Centering should be for emphasis. Ooooh the desert car scene. Gorgeous. I need to do a skim through of the show and post some of my favorite shots compared to stuff that I think gives me pause to exemplify this conversation. It's a really interesting one. Yall should share any favorite shots/scenes from the show - purely on image and aesthetic - to see what might resonate with viewers who are into that sort of topic! I definitely have some favorites. See, when the show is clever, it's soooo visually interesting but the low point choices are pretty eye rolling to compare hahaha. And that's ok. We love it and its imperfections.

And yesssss, they've done right by these actors/characters. Appearance wise (other than the occasionally questionable wig choices) I think the show's done a great job at allowing the characters to be authentic and real. They do that really well. And yes!! The natural skin! I kind of loved that too with Will. Authenticity is great on screen. It doesn't need to be fake. Real people, real characters. ❤️

[iamazadkhan]

From Zero to Hero: Exploring Hostinger's Premium Web Hosting for Indian Bloggers

Introduction

Hostinger

A reputable web host, Hostinger is renowned for its affordable prices and quick page loads. It comes with my highest recommendation for those who want to launch their website quickly and easily. You may find Hostinger ranked top in my list of the finest web hosting companies. Because Hostinger offers cost without sacrificing quality, we find them to be a great host for simple websites. Have a look on the discussion on the Review of Hostinger Web Hosting. As your business expands, you may upgrade to a more robust plan without switching hosts. To get started, you don't even need any previous experience with web development. One of the simplest web hosting options available is Hostinger.

Review of Hostinger Web Hosting

Consider Hostinger if you're on a tight budget. There is just no way to get dependable hosting for less money. Using this advice, you can determine if Hostinger offers web hosting plans that are appropriate for your website. Some of the standout characteristics of Hostinger web hosting are listed below.

The Advantages of Hostinger's Web Hosting

Good Uptime On the surface, cheap web hosting services could appear enticing. But if your uptime rates are minimal, it is not worthwhile to take this way. Although Hostinger's uptime rates are not the highest in the sector, they are also not the lowest. Typically, we prefer to see web hosting companies maintain an uptime of 99.9% on average over the course of a year. Hostinger's average decreased unquestionably as a result of few months that were in the 99.8% level or even as low as 99.04%. However, some months of flawless uptime kept their average. You must compare the price to your needs. If your personal website is modest and has little traffic, 10–14 hours of downtime per year won't do you any harm. However, you'll need slightly better prices if you run a company website.  The uptime rates offered by Hostinger are sufficient for the majority of small websites. Latest Posts Quick load times When the price is so low, it's simple to believe that quality has been compromised. This is not the case with Hostinger. In fact, they provide some of the highest speeds available at their cost. Hostinger claims that their server response time is 43 milliseconds, which is excellent, on their website. But don't take that too seriously. In any experiments, we were unable to confirm this number. To be completely honest, you would probably need a top-tier plan with little resources to obtain those speeds. In either case, you should anticipate loading times that are typically in the 300–400 ms range. Once more, this still represents good value for the money. Hostinger pretty nearly cuts that statistic in half compared to the industry standard for page loading speed, which is closer to 900 ms. The money-back guarantee offered by Hostinger is respectable, but it isn't as generous as some of the other web providers out there. I'll go into more depth about this shortly. Live Assistance One of the most crucial characteristics of a good web host is customer assistance. Consider this. Your financial situation is impacted if your website experiences a problem and crashes. You must be able to contact someone by phone or email who can assist you in resolving the issue as soon as feasible. However, contacting a customer care agent right away might not be your first concern if you're using Hostinger to host a modest personal blog. However, it's still vital. Whatever your circumstance, it's good to know that Hostinger's live chat is simple and quick. Note: Some of the links in this post are affiliate links, which means that I earn a commission if you buy something through them. This does not affect the price you pay or the quality of the product. It just helps me keep this blog running and creating more content for you. I appreciate your support! FAQS Q: What is Hostinger’s premium web hosting? A: Hostinger’s premium web hosting is a service that provides fast, reliable and secure hosting for your website. You can choose from different plans that suit your needs and budget, and enjoy features such as unlimited bandwidth, SSD storage, free domain name, free SSL certificate, daily backups and more. Q: Why should I choose Hostinger’s premium web hosting for my blog? A: Hostinger’s premium web hosting is ideal for bloggers who want to grow their online presence and reach more audiences. With Hostinger’s premium web hosting, you can benefit from a 99.9% uptime guarantee, 24/7 customer support, easy WordPress installation and management, and access to hundreds of templates and plugins. Q: How can I get started with Hostinger’s premium web hosting? A: Getting started with Hostinger’s premium web hosting is easy and quick. You just need to follow these steps: -Register or transfer your domain name to Hostinger. -Choose a premium web hosting plan that fits your needs and budget. -Set up your website using the intuitive control panel or the WordPress installer. -Customize your website with the available tools and resources. -Publish your content and start attracting visitors. Q: How much does Hostinger’s premium web hosting cost? A: Hostinger’s premium web hosting offers affordable and flexible pricing options for different needs and budgets. You can choose from monthly, yearly or longer-term plans, and save up to 82% with the special discounts. The current prices for the premium web hosting plans are: -Premium Shared Hosting: ₹119/month (regular price ₹639/month) -Business Shared Hosting: ₹219/month (regular price ₹1,199/month) -Cloud Hosting: ₹409/month (regular price ₹2,279/month) Read the full article

[monday2econlive]

Preferences, Decision Making, and Trade-Offs in My Personal College Application Process

Economics is a study of preferences and decisions made on the margin. In my process of applying to college I faced making decisions at the margin every single day which led to various trade-offs. Trade-offs are what is given up or forgone in the decision making process while opportunity cost represents the value of the alternative options. All of my decisions made at the margin during this process have had a very large impact on the route my life is taking, and this blog post will analyze the presence of preferences and trade-offs relative to my college application and decision process. 

Applying to college brought forth a lot of decisions and consequently trade-offs that had to be made. There are many colleges in the United States and it is difficult to make informed decisions with so many options and a lack of personal in-depth research. In order to make this process easier, I restricted myself to only colleges in California because I am a California resident. I did not want to go to college outside of California because being able to see my family frequently is something that makes me really happy and gives me greater utility than being on the other side of the country would. Additionally, from an economic standpoint, in-state tuition tends to be cheaper than out-of-state tuition and my family and I did not have the income to feasibly pay upwards of $50,000 a year on a college education. My family’s budget constraint made it more efficient for me to apply to California schools and avoided out of state schools that would have also had greater prices for transportation as well. The opportunity cost of this decision is the ability to attend a school out of California, as well as the student loans I would likely have to take on going to an external college, implying that this was a smart decision for me to make. 

Most colleges in the United States charge an application fee to be able to be considered for admittance to the school. Due to this, I first had to determine which schools were worthy of me paying the application fee(typically 50-70 dollars) under the condition that I reasonably could afford to apply to 8-10 schools. I further narrowed down the amount of schools I could apply to by deciding not to apply to any private schools, considering they also tend to have higher tuition that my family and I could not afford given our current income. I also decided that I was only going to apply to schools in the University of California system and the California State University system because then I would only have to fill out two applications for a lot of colleges. The opportunity cost of filling out more than the two applications was not attractive enough for me given the application fees and work/time it would take to fill the extra applications out, especially while I was tackling sports and school at the same time too. The opportunity cost of this decision was the ability to attend any school in California that is not a University of California or California State University school, which was something I was willing to accept given how great these schools are. 

Now that I had narrowed it down enough, I was able to do a lot of in depth research about each school and create preferences based off of my research. Preferences are important for people like me to make decisions as rationally as possible with respect to saving money and gaining utility. There were a lot of factors that were important to me when applying for schools. This included but was not limited to the quality of the mathematics program(I am a mathematics major), the location of the school, the available opportunities and surrounding area of the school, and the AP credit policy of the school(I took a lot of Advanced Placement classes in high school with hopes of making college easier and quicker for myself). I ultimately ended up choosing to apply to 8 schools in total: UC Irvine, UC Davis, UC Berkeley, UC Santa Cruz, UC San Diego, San Diego State, Cal Poly SLO, and CSU Monterey Bay. 

Fast forward to March I got into all the schools and now had to make the decision on where to go based on my collective preferences, potential trade-offs and the opportunity cost associated with those trade-offs. Putting into account the cost of tuition as well as the aid given, the University of California schools were going to be cheaper for me assuming a four year education and so I began this decision making process by limiting myself to these schools. Now that I had narrowed it down to 5 options from all of the colleges, I really had to begin thinking on the margin to make this big life decision. One of the largest factors for me was AP credit policy of the individual schools because I took 12 AP classes in high school with hopes of taking less classes, graduating early, and overall having to pay less tuition. Of all the schools, UC Irvine, UC Santa Cruz, and UC San Diego had the best fitting policies to allow me to do this and save myself time and money. By eliminating UC Berkeley and UC Davis I was able to get rid of a negative opportunity cost that would have had me miss out on a lot of potential general education clearances that I worked hard to obtain in high school. Of the 3 colleges, each had its own pros and cons but every time I compared them side-by-side it seemed like Irvine had the smallest opportunity cost in turn of what I liked and looked for and therefore was the most optimal decision for me to attend. Therefore, Irvine offered the most perceived utility and seemed to be the optimal school of choice for me after going through the long process that involved many decisions, preferences, and trade-offs that ultimately led me to where I am now. The overall opportunity cost of me attending UCI was the opportunity to attend any of the other schools I got into, but I do believe that I made the right choice to come here, graduate early, save money, and hopefully have a successful career in mathematics.

Zachary Simon

Student ID: 79968820

[more-than-a-princess]

"That," Sonia replied as she led them through crowds of tourists and locals alike, rushing to their museum or exhibition tours, or to get a second coffee before lunch. "is perhaps the most striking indicator that times have changed. Those days are very few and far between now, nothing like visiting your home most weekends. Now, my leisure time is added into my diary, right alongside hospital visits and ceremonies to honor the armed forces. But I did like the pool and the commercial district: you always took me to such fun and lively places, Shirou."

Even in an entirely different country away from both their homes, she could offer the same. Though alongside the local swimming pool, he'd also taken her to the most mundane spots at her request: 100 yen shops, laundromats, banks, the grocers. Mostly as she wouldn't know how to navigate them otherwise, much less be given a chance to. Still, as fun as they were, Sonia had no interest in visiting a chemist in Florence unless it was necessary: not with the bounty of local shops and museums available for them to peruse. It would be nothing like her usual schedule, unless...

"Unless, of course, you would prefer to attend a ball instead?" She teased as they approached the cafe. "Or a garden party? Or an afternoon tea?" The sorts of things the men in her family dreaded. Even ventures to the ballet or opera were more tolerable (and Sam enjoyed those to begin with): the other options were sure to include plenty of aristocratic gossip, and if her cousins were involved, scoping out possible young ladies from respectable families as their future wives. "Truth be told, I much prefer the option of playing tourist. But if you really want to attend one of those, I will see what can be arranged."

Highly doubtful, but at least Sonia didn't need to doubt his interest in breakfast. They'd chosen similar options, though her eyebrows raised at his choice of lemon tea. "I am so accustomed to selecting coffee whilst in Italy that it is considered impolite at official events if I do not, unless it is for health reasons," She explained with a smile. "I must remember that today I am a tourist with you and not expected to be a princess, though I am certain I shall manage to make my coffee sweet enough."

In the meantime, bottles of both still and sparkling water were brought to the table, and Sonia didn't hesitate to pour herself a glass of the latter and adding a slice of lemon to it. When in Italy, of course. "Shopping?" She repeated. That was a surprise: beyond the aforementioned leather item he wanted, Sonia had guessed he wouldn't much care for the shops. The lingering, the noise, the haggling, and that was just the street and independently-run shops. The boutiques were a different experience entirely, though one Sonia was more familiar with: complimentary champagne or coffee, items brought to a private fitting room, and a bill discreetly paid. If items weren't brought to her hotel directly, this was how she'd been trained to shop by a mother with a discerning eye for fashion.

"I suppose we did, for food, or to the anime shops perhaps?" Sonia suggested. She couldn't fathom an instance that she would've taken Shirou along as she shopped for anything remotely feminine. For one, the attire she was allowed to wear was often out of the budget for most and it made for an awkward shopping experience. And two, how could she ask him to endure her selection of beauty products, or accessories, or lingerie-

Sonia nearly spat her water back into her glass. It had to be Italy and its ability to rival France where luxury undergarments were concerned, but there was no reason to link shopping for those with Shirou. At least she was saved by the arrival of hot drinks and pastries: sweetened croissant-like treats and hers filled with pistachio cream, perfect for tearing off into small pieces and dunking into her cappuccino. Which she didn't hesitate to do as soon as the server left: anything to distract her from that line of thought.

"Wh-what did you have in mind then, beyond the leather shopping?" She asked, wiping at her mouth with her napkin. "You are aware that I am not Tohsaka-san, or from the stories I have heard, Hilda's sister: I would not wish to force you to accompany me somewhere dull or inappropriate, much less ask you to carry purchases."

Sonia was oftentimes catching him off-guard, either by her beauty, her tenacity, her smarts or her abyssal cooking skill. Right now he was absolutely floored that she seemed blissfully unaware of his awkwardness – or, if she was aware of it, Sonia was pretty good at concealing it. Hindsight is 20/20 and Shirou sometimes finds himself wincing at his cluelessness when he was younger – more precisely back around the time when they first met. The stupid things he said to her, or Tohsaka, or Sakura or any other girl that led them to snap at him and getting him utterly confused ? Ah yes, he was a stupid kid. Yet Sonia, who deals with politicians and deceitful individuals for breakfast, to be this oblivious ? It was both endearing, shocking and concerning. Maybe he should thanks his lucky stars if he had any — it would be too awkward to try to squirm his way out of that situation. Still, it felt natural to her to hold on to his hand and lead him. Was she so at ease in his presence that Sonia is allowing herself to be so carefree ? Or it was merely because it was convenient, a busy street is a sure way to get separated. In Japanese culture the mere act of holding hands was a declaration of love, if a man offers his hand to cross the street and the girl intertwine her fingers with him that was a confirmed date – that’s how full of rituals and indirect underlining meanings that society was, something that foreigners don’t usually grasp so Shirou was inclined to chalk it up to European habits and social cues are different, even among bordering nations there can be many differences – Novoselic and Japan are half world apart, so things that are natural to Sonia like holding hands might have a different meaning. …Well, he wasn’t one to talk. Shirou himself grabbed Saber’s hand and dragged her a few times. And he was under the impression he did it to Sonia before, so there was no reason why he was making such a huge point about it in his head. Ah, that was no good. He’d been working hard to keep himself in check and be cool even in the most trying of times, facing life-or-death situations on the daily basis, and yet having a mini meltdown when Sonia, of all people, holds his hand ? That merely shows his lack of mental fortitude.

❝ I remember back when you used to go to my place that you enjoyed the days we didn’t do anything in particular. ❞ he commented, the memory resurfacing. ❝ Sure, sometimes we would do arrangements like going to the indoor pool or to the commercial district but it was something out of a spur of the moment or with just a couple days planning in advance, nothing like having to schedule months beforehand as you do. ❞ he recalled one day he invited her to go to buy the ingredients: Mount Miyama was the best place for fish and other fresh meat, and then there was a series of strategies and techniques to survive a trip to the super market. Not many adversaries were as scary as middle-aged ladies who would unceremoniously grab the items from your shopping cart if you dropped your guard. He couldn’t recall the details, maybe it was too traumatizing so he wiped it from his memory. ❝ So the plan for today is just to walk around and play the tourists ? I think I’m going to like that. ❞ Once they finally settled on the chairs he could breathe easy again. ❝ Oh, nice call Sonia. I’d like some traditional cornetto and marmellata. Do you have any arancia marmellata ? And some the’ with limone. ❞ once their order was made, the waitress excused herself and left them. ❝ We got the whole day ahead of us, good thing that Florence has so much to see and good tea. ❞ he commented, hinting that they could take as many breaks as they wanted to. ❝ Now I’m trying to remember… Did we went shopping a few times before, right ? ❞

[thefanficmonster]

Infatuation

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: FLUFF, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: It’s not a secret that Corpse prefers taking care of his hair himself rather than going to a hair salon to get it trimmed and/or tampered. However, he only has so much knowledge of how to properly do it without having to obliterate his budget. Luckily, his girlfriend comes to his rescue.

Requested by Anon. Hi lovely! Thank you so much for the incredibly fluffy request! I’ve been very pumped to write it and now here it finally is - so sorry it’s taken me so long to complete and post it but I still hope you come across it and give it a read! Love, Vy ❤

“Um, what are you doing?“

I just walked into Corpse’s apartment to find him barricaded in the bathroom, giving himself a hair appointment. We were supposed to have a chill night in watching movies, but it seems to me like those plans will either have to be delayed or canceled, given the chaotic state both Corpse and his bathroom are in. I mean, how dumb was I to expect he was actually doing his hair justice when he told me he styled it himself? Why didn’t that immediately raise an army of red flags in my head and lead me to question his methods?

I’m honestly quite jealous of Corpse’s hair. It’s always so soft and silky and no matter how much or how little effort he’s put in it, it always looks good: either evidently carefully styled or boyishly messy, it leaves me with heart-eyes regardless. But to see him massacre it like this, it makes me wish I could report it as a crime.

“Ain’t obvious?“ He sounds rather frustrated and I feel at least slightly better due to this fact. He deserves to be as frustrated as I am by the sight of the crap he’s doing. “Sorry, you’re gonna have to wait for me for...a little while. I just need to get this under control and, um, clean the mess. Sorry for ruining your night like this, babe. I-I really wasn’t planning on it to take this long but I forgot to buy one of the products and I thought I could wing it without it but...I very clearly can’t so...“

“Please, stop talking. I don’t need to know what sins you’ve committed - if I do I’ll probably have to give you the silent treatment for like a week or so.“ I call out to him as I quickly skip over to the kitchen to leave the food I bought on my way over before returning to the bathroom and carefully taking a step inside, mindful of where there are hair strands on the tiles. Even severed, his hair is beautiful and I have a ton of respect for it - ok fine, I adore it. Corpse definitely doesn’t appreciate it properly. I walk over to the shower, reaching out to the two shelves inside which are lined with different types of hair products. “Oh fuck...“ I let out the whisper without even realizing it because I’m so stunned by the brands I see on those shelves. “Corpse, um, what the actual fuck?”

He turns to me, eyes wide and terrified because of my menacing tone. “What? What is it?” His gaze searches the spot where mine was just pointed at, looking for anything that could’ve provoked such a reaction from me. Seeing nothing but the hair products, he meets my deadly glare yet again, “What’s wrong?”

Alright, this man-child needs some serious help

“I’ll tell you what’s wrong.“ I say, stomping towards the exit of the bathroom, “You’re gonna stay here and wait for me to come back and don’t you DARE, even touch your hair, let alone bring a pair of scissors or any chemical near it. Copy?“

“Copied and pasted, ma’am.“ He salutes me, knowing better than to ask questions when I enter my commander role. There are quite a few things that set me off into this bossy-ass persona, and hair mistreatment is most definitely one of them. Thing is, Corpse doesn’t know that. Well, he didn’t know that, pretty sure he’s guessed it by now.

Feeling myself soften at his obedience and trust, I give him a smile and a wink over my shoulder as I go to grab my bag and leave the apartment to complete my mission, “Good boy.”

                                                              *  *  *

“Isn’t that a lot better?“ I ask, gently running my fingers through Corpse’s freshly cut, washed and dried hair. I’ve spent a good five minutes just smoothing through it with my fingers. I bet he’s expecting me to say ‘my precious‘ at any moment now, and trust me it’s tempting, but I still don’t, I won’t give him the pleasure of predicting my actions. Wow, we’ve really reached that level of being familiar with one another that I predict that he’s predicting what I’m gonna do next. While I’m a guessing game for him, I tend to think of myself as more of an open book. You just gotta be fluent in the language it’s written in to understand it.

I’ve gone off-topic, my bad.

“Yeah, you’re a lot less scary now.“ He tells me, his hand finding mine in his hair and taking it to his lips to place a kiss on my knuckles.

We’re positioned so that we’re in front of the bathroom mirror with Corpse seated in a chair in front of me and I’m for once in my life towering over him from behind. Our height difference was threatening to be a hinderance in my work on his hair, but we easily figured it out.

I can’t help but laugh, “You know what I meant.“ I curl one of his already curly strands around the pointer finger of the hand that’s still wandering around the soft dark curls while the other remains in his gentle hold, resting on his shoulder.

“And you know what I meant.“ He shifts in his seat to look at me directly, not via the mirror, “Since when do you have a hair infatuation?“

I roll my eyes and retract my hands, defensively folding my arms over my chest, “It’s not an infatuation with hair, dummy. It’s an infatuation with your hair.” I correct him, doing quick work of styling the stray strands that fall over his forehead and eyes. “I really like your hair, you already know that. I can’t handle the thought you’re doing such a shitty job taking care of it.”

He shrugs, furrowing his brows, “Hey, I was buying top-shelf products, cost me a fortune every month, my hair was being treated like royalty.”

I roll my eyes once again, “High price doesn’t always equal high quality, Corpse. Did you ever stop to read what was in those products?” I don’t let him answer, I don’t need him to confirm what I already know. “Even if you did - which you didn’t - you wouldn’t know what each of those ingredients do to your hair. You see, taking care of hair, especially hair like yours, takes patience and knowledge. It’s practically an art form. It’s not like you can just buy any product that has ‘suitable for curly hair’ on it. There’s a lot more to that.”

It’s only after I finish my monologue that I realize he’s looking at me with amazed amusement in his gaze, almost like a parent listening to their kid talk about their wish of becoming an astronaut. “Since when do you know so much about hair? You’ve been using the same shampoo and conditioner since I know you and now you wanna lecture me on hair care?”

I raise an eyebrow at him, exasperated by his stubbornness on the matter, “Who said being consistent with your hair products is a bad thing? You know, frequent changing of brands has the potential of being damaging as much as aiding.” I explain with the most amount of patience I can muster, now taking over the parent role myself, “And as for your previous question, I know so much because my mother is a hairdresser.”

His eyes widen in surprise. I can practically see the gears in his brain turning as he tries to recall if I’ve ever told him this before.

“How come I don’t know that?“ He asks finally after a long moment of silence. “Why haven’t you told me?”

“You ask that as though I just tell you things like that on the regular. Did you also want me to drop the info that my dad’s a mechanic in passing conversation about video games? Cause that’s a little hard to shoehorn in....“ He cuts off my sarcastic rambling with a brief peck to the lips. He’s the only person allowed to shut me up, and only like that. Anything else will earn him either an earful or a silent treatment. 

Just kidding....unless...

“So, does that mean you’re continuing the family business?“ he asks when he pulls away, “I mean, you’re technically my personal hairdresser now.“

I furrow my brows playfully, “Wait, what? Since when?”

“Since I hired you approximately an hour ago.“ He beams up at me, satisfied that I’ve fallen in his trap.

“And what about my payment?“ I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

He looks to be contemplating for a second before he stands up from the chair, taking my hand in his leading me out of the bathroom, “Well, each appointment you’ll give me a different price, Miss Y/L/N. But, considering today was your first day, I choose to pay you with dinner.“ He sends a wink my way, laughing when he’s met with an unamused expression on my part as I stop in my tracks, causing him to halt his movements as well.

“You really plan on paying me with the dinner I bought?“ I raise an eyebrow at him, freeing my hand from his so I can put both my hands on my hips for the complete 'I’m far from impressed’ look.

“Yeah...? Problem?“ He asks, faking nervousness and guilt as he closes the distance between us, once again returning to the default of towering over me instead of it being the other way around.

“Several actually. First of all...“ I raise my finger in the air accusingly, ready to go off but the arm that wraps around my waist and lifts me off the ground causes my words to die down, evaporating in a frightened squeal, “Corpse no!! Put me down!“

Of course, he ignores me, carrying me into the living room while I don’t know whether to thrash or stay as still as possible. 

Tsk, so much for gratitude

@maat-the-prescriptive  @simonsbluee  @save-the-sky  @itsminniekat  @hacker-ghost  @bi-andready-tocry  @imtiredaffff  @jazzkaurtheglorious  @hereforbeebo  @fandomgirl17  @chrysanthykios  @maehemscorpyus  @loraleiix  @letsloveimagines  @annshit  @i-cant-choose-a-username-help  @enigmaticmaze  @divine-artemis  @waterlilypat  @idontknowwhatthisisfam  @evi-ka  @classyandfabulous00  @redperson58  @lilysdaydreams @solowheein  @mythicalamphitrite  @axen-gers  @luckygirl144  @nj01  @buddyemily   @the-albino-lioness  @stardream14  @gdhdkfnn  @nomadicgypsyy  @preciousskye  @fluffysuicideunicornsworld  @o-kaelin  @manacharlotte  @awkward-youtube-trash  @lolalee24  @bonky-beerns  @meme-lord-and-savior-sebastian  @strawbrinkofdeath  @teenloves  @tams0527  @browneyespinkhair  @starstruckllamapuppy  @daisychains012  @y0ulooked  @tinytacosuitcaseflap @supernatural-is-my-only-life  @jula-pauline  @melodykitty  @just-that-bi-girl  @crazybutconfidentaf  @lowellshade @alphakees  @bellero  @weallneednamjesus  @starryhanji  @boiled-onionrings  @husherstan  @fockingwhore  @melaningoddessthings  @prettypastelpetals  @haleypearce  @godwhyamiawkward  @y-napotat  @daisychainyoonmin  @little-miss-rebel3  @free-wheelin-bi-sexual  @redmoon261 @darkacademic2  @wiseflamingoqueen  @into-the-end  @namikhai-i  @nastiablr  @thelittleplantlover  @mirktuan  @dont-hyuck @jjk-bunny  @vintagegothlover  @easygoingtheatre  @itsrandombooklover  @miiaivi  @emmybaybee  @befourgolden  @jjk-is-my-shit  @eternalteaaars  @spacebadgerx  @princesslunalight  @acequinn14  @samm48  @misselsbells06 @simp-lykawa  @fo-love  @marishimomura-blog  @therealglenncoco  @cinnamonbun332  @killtherandomness  @sanshinexxxsan  @fee-btheweeb  @press-lay  @cathleenpotgieter16  @jazzydoesstuff  @moonlxghtbay  @forestrain2000  @hyunjinhugs  @blood-of-fandoms  @lovellylies  @ukiyolixx  @simpforhpcharacters  @chrisdylan17  @parkerjisung  @pedernille  @theodonyous  @wineandionysus  @malfoystilinskii05  @morbid-x  @coryisagee  @jessewa26  @scoobydooluver97 @mindintheskies365  @raeanneinwonderland  @indecisive-empanada  @gluttonypalace  @loriane2503  @btsiguess-kpop  @khaoticbunny  @lucidlycactus  @smiithys  @rottenroyalebooks  @kpopgirlbtssvt  @fangirl-tc27  @fr0z3n-1  @notmesimpingfortechno  @shotarosleftpinky  @kunoi-chan  @idk-whats-wrong-with-me  @yikeroonie  @goldenstarofthunderclan  @poetry-and-tea  @ama-do-writing-stuff  @wishbonewolf  @emeraldxhope  @t0xick1tty  @kusuinko  @speakyourselfloveyourself  @sophia902103  @lo-manburg  @classsykittykat  @dmgama  @depressedpuppythatneedscoffee  @btsiguess-kpop  @akaashi-baby  @gun-jong-simp  @geschichtenfee  @yerapotato-wp  @browneyedgirl365  @thysagclub  @sparklycloudnight  @helloatomicshadow  @queentorresstuff @vtte @val-gal  @lucy-bunny17  @aaliyahh0  @katluckybear  @boyleanti  @straybids  @franchesca-791  @cosmicstorm19  @averyisbackinthetrashcan  @aomi-nabi  @xlanawriter  @allensimpsforcorpse

[laundryandtaxes]

What type of watch’s do you recommend? I’m a baby bi that’s a tomboy and I want nice watch but I know there’s a certain etiquette when it comes to watches. I like rolexes but that’s waaaaay above my budget, I want a nice watch but something affordable (: thanks in advance! 🥰

Honestly this will depend a lot on your budget and what "affordable" means to you! To me, "affordable" means that I can reasonably expect to be able to save up for an item within several months WITHOUT it impacting my general savings goals. For me, that number means that a watch that costs around $500 is one that I personally consider affordable, but that number may be higher or lower for you.

The first question to ask yourself is whether you prefer an automatic watch, a manual wind watch, or a quartz watch. The watch I wear almost every day is an automatic watch- that means it is wound by the movement of the wearer's wrist in daily life. Automatic watches will have a /relatively/ smooth seconds hand sweep, and really nice automatic watches will have extremely smooth seconds hand sweeps. Even office workers generally move their wrists enough to power an automatic watch. However, if you sit an automatic watch down for longer than what is called its "power reserve," normally between 24 and 48 hours, it will stop, and that means you'll need to reset the watch to wear it again. Here is my Traska Freediver, my daily wear watch. It is an automatic watch, in a dive watch style.

Dive watches are so called because the design was originally made for divers to be able to time how long they'd been under. In the dark, like I imagine it would be 150 meters under the surface of the ocean, dive watches pretty much all have some material applied that makes them glow in the dark so the wearer can measure time under, and can read the time itself. I use my countdown bezel regularly for timing pasta, timing tasks at work, etc.

A manual wind watch is one where the owner needs to manually wind the watch, usually around once a day, to power it. Again, if you do not wind the watch regularly, it will stop. For both automatics and manual winds, this is not a problem and in fact it can be good to give a watch some rest time occasionally. Both automatic and manual wind watches are not 100% accurate- they will have a range of how many seconds they lose or gain in a day. Really well made watches by companies like Omega and Rolex can sometimes run off by as little as a 4 to 6 seconds a day, while cheaper watches may lose or gai. as much as 10 or 20 or in bad cases even a couple of minutes per day.

Quartz watches are powered by a battery. The way they work is, basically, that a quartz vibrates at a particular frequency, which translates into one movement of the seconds hand per second. This is the tick tick tick you're likely familiar with in watches. These watches are inherently more accurate than Rolexes because they are more accurate than any automatic or manual wind watch. You can sit a quartz watch down ans pick it up a week later and it will have kept perfect time. However, the smooth sweep of the seconds hand is usually very expensive to accomplish with a quartz watch. A lot of watch snobs turn their nose up at quartz watches because most mass produced watches today are quartz powered, but the truth is that this was a revolutionary technology at one point that almost killed the luxury watch market because it meant any $10 Casio would inherently keep better time than any automatic Rolex. Now, many luxury watchmakers produce both automatic and quartz watched, including Rolex and Omega. I own several quartz watches, including a Casio Databank and a Timex Q I actually got for free through a butch group on Facebook! The very first watch I ever wore every day, when I was maybe 20 or 21, was a Timex Weekender, and it's what got me into watches. Here is my Databank. It cost me maybe $25 and I can do math with it.

The second question to answer is whether you care about what is often called "heritage" I the watch world. This refers to a company having an extensive and well-repsected history of making competent watches. Companies with undeniable heritage that make affordable watches include Seiko, Hamilton, Bulova, and frankly Casio. There are others, of course, but there are a few to get you started. Traska, the brand that made my watch, is what's called a microbrand- microbrands buy movements (the guts inside the watch) from other companies and most of them create original designs of their own, but they're young companies that don't have 100 years of watchmaking experience.

The third question to answer is whether you're okay with "homages," a euphemistic term for a watch that outright copies another, more famous and usually more expensive watch, sometimes while changing a design and sometimes not. Pagani Design, a company that makes their watches in China to keep costs down but lately has achieved really exceptional metal finishing for the price, pretty much only makes homages, like their recent copy of the Rolex Explorer 2. Ginault is a company that makes higher end Rolex "homages," which in this case we really can pretty much call copies because rumor has it they used to sell counterfeits and then got so good at it that they decided to put their own brand on the package. The Invicta Pro Diver is a Rolex submariner homage, but most owners say theirs is built well and Invicta makes plenty of, most horrible but sometimes classy, original designs as well. A lot of watch snobs will turn their nose up at homages because the watch will lack "heritage," but only you can make the call of how much original design matters to you. If you see anything that says it is Bauhaus inspired, anything with "sub" in the name, anything with all round hour indices except a triangular 12 o clock marker, you're probably looking at an homage.

So once you've got your answer to those questions you can dig into watch models! I'm going to rattle off a bunch of watches around or under $250, because I think spending more than that on a hobby you may not be that into is kind of silly to start. From Seiko, their SKX007 and the smaller SKX013 are undeniably classic, well made, respectable watches. Their SNK809 (these are called references, and they're annoying) is also an undeniably well respected watch that has enough water resistance for fishing on my experience. And while their Seiko 5 Sports line isn't for me, lots of people really enjoy it. You USED to be able to get an SKX007 for around $200- they're discontinued for some reason, which means prices have risen, but sometimes you can still find them around that price. For around the same price, you can generally find a used Hamilton Khaki King or other Khaki model in good condition. You can also go vintage with either brand, but be aware there are loads of fake vintage watches out there, so do your research before purchasing if spending what is, to you, a lot of money. The SNK809 was my first automatic watch, and here's it on my wrist.

You can also find lots of cool vintage automatics and manual winds in this price range, including the Vostok Amphibia. These were Soviet watches designed for divers. The countdown bezels suck ass, but the design is original and cool and the case is actually designed so that it grows more and more waterproof as a diver dives further under the surface of the water. Here's my Amphibia.

If you think quartz will be your thing then you've got loads of options in this price range. Pretty much anything by Timex, including their very cool Timex Q, loads of watches by Casio, lots of Seiko quartz options, etc. In terms of truly iconic affordable quartz watches I think the Mondaine watch whose name I cannot recall, the Casio F91W, and the Casio World Time are all very classic, well respected quartz models.

I know this was a lot, so let me know if you have more specific questions or if certain things really pique your interest more than others!

[demonologist-in-denim]

Okay, let’s get into this, because I have put off talking about Crowley’s cut monologue from 12x23 for long enough. If you haven’t already, you can read it here, or in this great gifset.

I absolutely see why this was cut. And I’m only acknowledging it here to talk about why I not only think it doesn’t add anything to Crowley’s story or our understanding of him, but how it actually detracts from it. After that, I intend to ignore it and let it fade away into the ether of the spn fandom. That being said, deleted scenes and cut scripts live in a sort of canonical limbo – you can choose for yourself whether to accept them as canon, consider them glimpses from some alternative universe, or do away with them entirely. I’m choosing the latter in this instance.

(This was meant to be a post, but it turned into an essay.)

Whomever wrote this was either unfamiliar with Crowley as a character, or was intentionally twisting the character in such a way as to fit into the convenient narrative that removed him from the show. Blame it on Chuck in text, blame it on the showrunners outside of text, whatever your preference – this doesn’t read like Crowley.

There are very few parts of this monologue that felt in character, that read like something Crowley would say. Not just in the tone or the choice of words, but the openness of it. And that’s coming from someone who writes reformed and/or human Crowley, with his admittance to remorse and shame and love. In this cut script, he is uncharacteristically vulnerable, sharing self-reflections he would never have shared aloud at this point in his character development. His dialogue lacks the layers of meaning or deflection that Crowley would normally employ, that he employed everywhere else in the show, even when being emotionally vulnerable.

That’s not to say that Crowley didn’t think or feel these things – I will argue to the end of my days (in spn fandom) that after the cure, Crowley hated himself. He hated that he was alone and unloved. Some part of that was due to being a demon and the horrible, evil, messy things he’d done, and some of it he believed was due to his inherent lack of worth. And I think this monologue was written in part to have Crowley make that final confession out loud. Final because, if that’s the case and he’s willing to admit it – to his former enemies and now the only people he really has in his life – his story can only take one of two directions: redemption or death. Embrace the desire for change and move forward as a reformed demon and full Winchester ally, or dramatically (and unnecessarily) sacrifice himself.

And there is a way to write that, but with Crowley properly in character and with the emotional complexity we know him to possess, not this blatant declaration. Maybe the line would have worked depending on how Mark Sheppard played it, and it only falls so flat because it’s just a script – I’m willing to allow for that. But this moment, facing down the boys after letting Lucifer loose, in front of an audience of Mary Winchester that he doesn’t know well and isn’t comfortable with, it doesn’t feel like a moment for Crowley to be this open, this vulnerable, about something so personal and so monumental.

I’ve no doubt that Crowley expected the Winchesters would one day kill him, “for good this time.” He was a demon working alongside a pair of hunters; there was always going to be that risk. Crowley was intelligent, one of the smartest characters on the show. He had to know that was how things would play out – either that, or he would die on their behalf, or because of their actions, even if he had ended up leaving Hell and joining Team Free Will. That was what happened to people around the Winchesters. Crowley warned Kevin of that himself. “They use people up, and leave them to die bloody.” Crowley knew. And as he internalized more and more of his blood-born conscience, Crowley had to believe on some level that he deserved it, especially if he hated himself and what he’d done.

But once again, if Crowley was going to say something like that, that’s not how he’d say it. It would be as a dismissive aside, or a knife in Dean’s gut in a moment of intense emotion between the two of them, or as a rebuke that the Winchesters badly deserved. Or better yet, as something remarked between himself and Cas, who Crowley likely suspected would outlast him but also ultimately die in service of the Winchester cause. Words like those have power. And it’s unlike Crowley to lay them down in supplication like this. It doesn’t even feel like a heart-felt confession, like his monologue in 8x23. It reads like someone wrote what was meant to be under Crowley’s words, the intention behind his dialogue, the much-exalted subtext, but failed to add all the layers on top of it, to put it in actual character.

I’m just going to bundle the whole beginning of the monologue together and toss it out entirely. Firstly because I’ve argued more than once that Crowley is an unreliable narrator when it comes to his human life. What we know of it from Rowena comes with an agenda, and what we know of it from Gavin comes from a man who had a difficult relationship with his father. It’s about as reliable as young Dean telling stories to Sammy about their parents’ time together. And there’s canonical errors in this monologue to back that up – we know Crowley wasn’t buried in a pauper’s grave, because we saw it 6x04. The “dying in a puddle of his own sick” is a great detail in terms of storytelling, but it’s almost directly repeated from Rowena, who said it as a belittling comment to a young Fergus. It’s too forced. And we know at least Gavin came to the funeral, because he tells us so in a deleted scene in 12x13 (remember what I said about getting to pick and choose when it comes to cut scripts and deleted scenes?).

But more importantly – and this is the part that really grates – Crowley’s iteration of his human life reinforces the narrative of absolute morality in the spn universe. It supports the argument that if a character becomes a demon, it must be because they were a terrible person. There is no room for human flaws, for characters to have made mistakes – and that doesn’t just hinder characters in terms of backstory, but in character development and emotional growth moving forward. It’s a stance spn takes more than once, and especially with non-human characters, though never in regards to the Winchesters. The Winchesters can become soulless or demons, but they were “always good” before that, so they are deserving of redemption. If Crowley or other non-humans were “always bad,” that absolves the Winchesters from seeing them as people deserving of help, or of their ability to change, or even to be seen as beings deserving of any level of respect or agency. And it absolves the showrunners from writing a character capable of development, of being able to grow beyond their previous flaws.

That’s not to say that Fergus MacLeod wasn’t some or all of those things. But if he was a complex character – if he was a person, as all stories should aim to present their characters – then he was all of that and more, just as the Winchesters are their virtues and their faults all wrapped up in an individual person. And if Crowley had brought this up some other time, in reference to his human life, none of this discussion would be necessary. It would be easy to say: he’s an unreliable narrator, and this provides us with insight into how Crowley feels about himself, and it would be interesting and valuable. But here, it’s used in justification for Crowley’s status as irredeemable – which is not true – and as part of justification for what happens next.

Crowley’s death was written by the showrunners as an excuse to remove him from the show – attribute that to budget costs for the show, or running out of story ideas for Crowley, or creative laziness, whatever you want. And within spn, it can be attributed to Chuck not wanting another character like Cas muddling up his Winchester Brothersᵀᴹ grand narrative. I’ve written before both in posts and in fic about how Crowley’s character-central instinct for self-preservation crumbles into depression after losing Hell and the seemingly-irreversible depletion of his and Dean’s friendship in 12x23. And that this ushers in a desire to End in such a way that achieves revenge against Lucifer (not a significant motivation, in my opinion, you’ve got to outlive your enemies to win against them), earns him the appreciation of the Winchesters, saves the world (proving his capacity for good), and brings about an end to his waiting. Glory through death, redemption in death – tropes that are hard to associate with Crowley unless you buy into his character’s devolvement in the latter half of season 12, but which the writers do their best to smooth into place and the fandom was forced to choke down.

And I won’t argue that Crowley didn’t wanted an end to his waiting – I’d argue the opposite in fact. This blatant preference for suicide, however, is antithesis to everything Crowley. What Crowley wanted in that End wasn’t an end of himself, but an end to existing in a state of perpetual limbo. Be accepted by the good guys, embrace his more human aspects, or return to the full dark depravity of demonkind. An end to the emotional rollercoaster, to continuous and destructive self-doubt, to striving to be both the king Hell needed and the ally the Winchesters refused to admit they benefited from having. That’s entirely different than wanting to end himself. As much as Crowley hated himself, he would never have considered death to be a preferable option – not unless some outside force, be it Chuck or the spn showrunners, decided otherwise for him.

Even if that had been the case, and I am wrong about Crowley’s characterization and his motivations, I still do not think he would have been as open about that motivation as is written in this cut script. It is just not like him. It is too vulnerable, too self-pitying. Crowley was always concerned about the others around him, and especially the Winchesters, thinking less of him. He never would have said something like this to them, not as this is written. Nor would Crowley have gone to the Winchesters with the intention of them killing him. He might have known it was a possibility, once he confessed his actions, (and from his perspective, there was the chance the Winchesters didn’t know of his involvement in Lucifer’s escape anyway), but it would never have been his intention. It’s not unknown for Crowley to encourage abuse from those he’s wronged, and to revel in the attention and emotions of it (here I’m thinking specifically of Kevin beating him in 9x02), maybe considering the punishment just and due. And Crowley at this point likely suspected he would eventually meet his end in some way involving the Winchesters. But death by their hands in this moment would have involved none of the justifying benefits of death by his own hand only a few scenes later – glory, revenge, redemption, a sense of closure.

Compare this cut monologue and its potential death – at the hands of the Winchesters after confessing his role in Lucifer’s escape – to this cut line of dialogue from later in 12x23. “Tell Dean he was right – you bloody fools have rubbed off on me.” This is Crowley. This is emotional complexity, admittance to a change of heart, self-awareness, and a brave act of equal defiance and sacrifice, with his usual smug, snarky dismissal. This isn’t suicide brought on by depression, by an uncharacteristic vulnerability. It is resolved, determined, if reluctant. This is Crowley choosing the greater good and the boys, even if it means sacrificing himself.

For me, this small addition smooths over much of the unevenness in the showrunner’s attempts to justify Crowley’s death. He has lost Hell, he believes he’s had an irreversible falling out with Dean – all of which could be overcome, grown beyond. But then a rift opens, and Lucifer is an immediate danger, and it requires a life to save the day. Crowley knows it can’t be either of the boys – that tends to have world-ending effects – and it can’t be Mary Winchesters or Castiel, because of “Winchester man-pain.” So that leaves Crowley. And having exhausted all immediate alternatives, Crowley does what internalized Winchester logic and conscience tells him is right. It would still require a moment of hesitation, a moment we see him combatting his deeply imbedded trait of self-preservation. But at least that would have been in character and show definitive character growth on Crowley’s part.

So yes, I completely agree with the decision to cut this monologue in 12x23. It doesn’t tell us anything about Crowley that we don’t already know, and is uncharacteristic of him, and provides out-of-character justification for his actions that wasn’t needed. You don’t have to agree with me, obviously. And I’ll end this rather long rant of an essay by saying what I always say: that Crowley deserved better. He deserved better than the mangling of his character’s motivations in the latter half of season 12, and he deserved better than this monologue. I’m glad it was cut from the final script.

[rainbowsky]

All this conversation about ggdd's supertopic still remaining open made me want to share my crack theory on it, that was born from a silly dream a couple weeks ago lol. My theory: ggdd have already been cast for the main leads of tgcf. This was always the plan following the successful release and popularity of cql. In fact, the cql team continued to capitalize on cql's success by making 2 spin-offs. And weren't there once rumors that there was going to be a third spin-off as well? Maybe that rumor was actually pointing to the creation of the tgcf series? This explains why their supertopic has remained open--even as ggdd promote shows with other actors--because their cp will be needed when tgcf promotions begin. What I love about this crack theory: we will be seeing ggdd acting together again, yay! What is bummy about this crack theory: the supertopic remaining open is a pr move rather than ggdd's silent approval of their cp. Unrelated sidenote of my own opinion on ggdd: whether or not the supertopic gets shut down ever, I still believe ggdd are szd (there are just too many coincidences/moments that point to them being real). But this theory has been an interesting thought exercise regardless on some of the more...interesting pr moves ggdd's respective teams have made in handling their cp.

Anon, you’ve blown me away. We finally have the real reason why. 🤡

I love this theory even though I find the chance of it being true roughly on par with the likelihood of the tattoo rumor or the toilet paper rumor being true (which is to say, not at all). Despite how unlikely it is to be true, this theory is very creative and will give the TGCF people something more to chew on.

The TGCF speculation has been entertaining, if a little heartbreaking. Let’s dig a bit into that (fake, fan fiction, CPN).

There are some incredibly good reasons to believe GGDD would never be cast in another BL, let alone TGCF:

There has been enough speculation about them already without throwing another BL into the mix. Geez - doing another BL would practically be like coming out of the closet.

They are both enormously popular and very busy. The likelihood of their schedules aligning in such a way as to enable them to work on anything together, let alone a BL story, seems very low.

Their popularity means they can both command massive dollars. Would any production even have the budget for both of them without completely breaking the bank? It would have to be an extremely well-financed production.

It could be a career suicide move. It might typecast them and make them an undesirable choice for other roles. It would likely turn off some brands and producers and even fans.

Their management teams would almost certainly not allow it. They might tolerate the CP because of the cover it provides the relationship if it exists, but throwing gasoline on those CP flames would likely be a bridge too far.

They are being used to promote the Olympics, and have both appeared in regime-backed shows (GG’s military drama, DD’s cop drama), so the powers that be are probably not going to want them appearing in anything that isn’t in line with ‘certain values’ until at least after the Olympics.

The fact that these two have the most popular CP and have already done a BL relatively recently might make it incredibly difficult to get past any censorship board with them cast in the lead roles.

If they were ever able to work together again, they would probably both vastly prefer to do something completely different than what they’ve already done.

Any TGCF-related marketing that uses GG or DD is likely being done to appeal to their BL/CP audience, rather than to hint at future casting.

Lightning rarely strikes twice.

But who am I to wash any candy this sweet? Let’s look at the other side of the story. I mean, there ARE legitimate reasons to believe it could happen.

Anyone casting them together in another romantic costume drama would be giving themselves a license to print money. They are incredibly popular both separately and together, and a lot of that popularity is based off of their insane chemistry. Such an event would generate incredible buzz and anticipation and any resulting show would immediately be hugely popular.

Taking a popular pre-existing CP and using it to promote an entirely new show, it would be a pretty shrewd marketing move.

If GG and DD are relying on the CP as cover for their relationship, working together in another drama would be a great way to renew the CP and thereby renew the cover.

I’m sure they’d jump at the chance to work together again, especially considering how much time that would give them to be together for filming and promo. It would lead to other opportunities to go together on variety shows, etc.

The team doing TGCF have worked with GG and DD and know already how magical that combination was. They already know what to expect from them, and given how much they’ve both grown as actors the team would probably have even higher hopes this time around.

They obviously tolerate the CP and all the speculation despite the fact that it’s growing rather than shrinking. They haven’t gone against it. This would at the very least imply they aren’t offended by the idea of being shipped together, which makes it at least possible that taking on another romantic pairing together wouldn’t be completely offensive to them.

If they are in a relationship this would probably the closest they could get to coming out without putting their lives and careers at extreme risk. It would be like a declaration of being together without actually declaring anything. Plausible deniability.

They’ve both been marketed in connection with TGCF. It could be buzz-building around casting.

The idea that they might have signed on for two series - as far-fetched as it sounds - might explain why the CP stays up despite the scandal, etc. There could be some contractual obligation there, or an interest in keeping it going for the sake of the future project.

Alas, Anon, I think it’s unlikely, but it’s also important for me to point out that I’ve often been spectacularly wrong about things, so if hoping for something like this brings you pleasure then by all means enjoy. If you and the other TGCF people are correct and they do get cast I’ll be among the first to cheer.

Oh, and Anon - it’s not even a question. BJYXSZD.

[emilynield18]

HOW CAN CREATIVE RESEARCH ENRICH DESIGN PRACTICE?

Sweeney Todd is a 2007 film directed by Tim Burton about a barber framed for a crime he didn’t commit. The cast behind the film, especially Colleen Atwood the costume designer, have used creative research to develop and enrich their design practice to create a film with a clear and distinctive aesthetic that is instantly recognisable to the audience. For my ‘design for moving image’ project I have decided to create a Gothic Victorian aesthetic throughout my work, this is a similar aesthetic to Sweeney Todd so my creative research into it will hopefully help me develop and enrich my own work.

To create her character designs Atwood initially looked at the music from the musical itself. It’s the starting point of all of it. She wanted the audience to be able to feel the texture of the costumes through the screen. The musical is very moody, and she considered textures a great way of showing this. Looking at the music for a musical before researching into anything else is a really exciting way of working, I think this would produce way more instinctual designs and encourage you as a designer to create new shapes and patterns with little influence from previous designer's ideas. The designs feel very natural and fit the moody and dark aesthetic very well. Tim Burton decided to set Sweeney Tod during the Victorian era, gothic influences were very popular in fashion during this time, so Atwood also had to design with this in mind. She also then distressed many of the costumes to indicate the class of the characters, since they would be walking around dirty streets and couldn’t afford many new clothes.

To create the desired aesthetic the crew, including Colleen Atwood, looked at neo-Victorian/ modern Victorian design. This is similar to the steam punk aesthetic yet more refined with sleeker silhouettes. I think I prefer this to steampunk, which seems overused at times and is harder to create original designs with since it has been done so many times. I think I could use this idea within my own work, I decided early on that I didn’t want to be influenced too much by steam punk however I did want to create Victorian designs since the corset I need to make is Victorian. Blending more modern designs and not being restrained by complete historical accuracy would be beneficial for my work. I might also investigate creating some initial sketches based off music that suits my production. This way I may be able to enrich my designs further and add more interesting textures.

Atwoods unique approach to using creative research to enrich her design has been very successful, as she created costumes that portrayed the initial ideas of the director and gained her huge respect across the industry. This is an approach that many other designers would be able to reproduce in their own creative research since it doesn’t take any extra resources or time that lower budgets wouldn’t have access to. From an audience's perspective this is very effective since the costumes are what creates a character, and the mood of the musical is expertly portrayed through the fabrics and surface design techniques used.

References

Fraydkin, D. (2022). “Sweeney Todd” cuts a fine figure, thanks to costume designer - USATODAY.com. [online] Usatoday.com. Available at: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/life/movies/news/2008-01-02-sweeney-todd-designer_N.htm [Accessed 4 Mar. 2022].

Lafleur, J. (2015). COSTUME DESIGN FOR SWEENEY TODD. [online] Available at: https://ufdcimages.uflib.ufl.edu/AA/00/03/81/74/00001/Costume%20Design%20for%20Sweeney%20Todd%20by%20Janae%20Lafleur.pdf [Accessed 7 Mar. 2022].

Sandoval, M. (2020). A Mid-Victorian Tale Of Madness: Sweeney Todd - The Art of Costume. [online] The Art of Costume. Available at: https://theartofcostume.com/2020/10/14/a-mid-victorian-tale-of-madness-sweeney-todd/ [Accessed 4 Mar. 2022].

[lifeofkaze]

When Stars Ignite - Chapter 5

HPHM Rockstar AU

A/N:

General Warning: This whole fic has a general warning of being NSFW / 18+. We will give specific warnings for every chapter in itself, but several adult themes will be more or less present in every chapter, may it be explicitly or in mention. These include sexual topics, drug abuse, (ab)use of alcohol, smoking and a whole lot of cursing.

Specific Warning: Language, reference to smoking (cigarettes), allusions to NSFW topics

~~~

Find the masterpost here, the previous chapter here and the next one here. The songs featured before every chapter can be found on this pretty badass playlist here.

~~~

This work is a collaboration with @the-al-chemist

Taglist: @slytherindisaster @carewyncromwell @night-rhea

Gettin' sold, second hand

That's how it goes, playin' in a band

It's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n' roll

~ AC/DC - It’s A Long Way to the Top ~

Halfway through their first week back on tour, their time in London was slowly drawing to an end. Lizzie couldn’t quite believe how fast the days seemed to fly by, each one a blur of tiredness, boredom and the addictive rush of adrenaline when they were on stage. Every day and night was like the one before and totally different all at once.

It felt like only yesterday that she had stepped from the plane back from America; at the same time, being surrounded by all the familiar faces and living in long established routines, her break from the hustle and bustle already seemed like an eternity away. Lizzie could still feel the last traces of jetlag wearing her down sometimes, but at least her shifted rhythm helped her stay energised during the shows; not that she was getting much sleep afterwards either.

Wrecked from her chronic lack of sleep, Lizzie had missed her alarm this morning. When she arrived at the largest dressing room of the O2 Arena, she found the rest of the band already assembled.

Merula and Everett were sitting at the huge table in the middle of the room, Everett scrolling through his social media accounts while Merula was painting her nails in a dark violet colour. Skye was slumped onto one of the sofas at the back of the room, a magazine spread across her lap. She looked up from the colourful pages as she saw Lizzie enter.

“About time you’re showing Jameson; thought you’d gotten lost somewhere. Where’ve you been?”

Lizzie sat down on the arm of the sofa Orion was sitting on; he lifted his head briefly and smiled before bending over his notebook again. Lizzie tried catching a glimpse of the lyrics he was scribbling down but he covered them with his hand. With a shrug, Lizzie turned her attention to Skye.

“I overslept and then ran into Charlie. Murphy and KC are gone somewhere, ‘having a meeting’ apparently.”

“That’s what they’re calling it these days,” Merula muttered under her breath, making Skye snort with laughter.

“Anyway,” Lizzie chuckled, “they’re not here to show the new pyro girl around. They left the job to Charlie, but apparently she’s late and no one knows how to reach her. He’s a little grumpy about it.” She furrowed her brow in concern. “I hope that doesn’t make for a bad start. Charlie had better behave, from what KC told me the newbie is promising.”

“A female pyro tech, just when I thought I’d seen it all,” Everett scoffed. “I mean, how good can she even be?”

Merula arched an eyebrow at him, her eyes sparkling dangerously. “You have a problem with a woman on the job, or what?”

Everett blatantly ignored her, however. “Hopefully we’ll have something to look at this time, right Orion?”

Orion was trying not to roll his eyes. “What we portray on the outside pales in comparison to what we carry in our hearts; as long as she’s a good person who is sure of what she’s doing, nothing can go wrong.”

“Getting along with Charlie would help, too,” Lizzie added.

A grin tugged at Orion’s lips. “It would indeed.”

Everett looked at him sceptically and shook his head. “Listen to you, as if you didn’t care about looks as well.”

Now Orion finally looked up from his notebook for good and frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Stop acting all innocent, everyone knows you’re getting your fair share of groupies as well,” Everett laughed, obviously finding the thought of someone preferring Orion to him hilarious. “Hotel room walls aren’t the thickest, you know.”

Lizzie almost choked on the bottle of water she had helped herself to. She was trying her hardest not to blush as her eyes flickered to Orion. Their eyes met for the briefest of moments before she busied herself with the lid of her bottle, hopefully looking more innocent than she felt. She could tell by the way Orion was trying to keep a straight face that Everett’s remark came just as surprising to him as it did to her.

Clearing his throat, Orion replied levelly “I have no idea what you’re talking about. It’s a wonder you’re able to hear anything over the racket you’re making most nights.”

Everett shrugged. “At least I’m open about it.”

“As much as I hate to say it, but Ev has a point,” Skye chimed in all of a sudden. She was waving her magazine through the air. “According to the Daily Mail, you’ve had at least six affairs ever since we’ve been to Spain. They mark you down as quite the casanova.” Same as Everett before, the thought seemed to amuse her to no end.

Merula rolled her eyes at Skye. “Why are you even reading that shit?”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” Skye shrugged. “And it’s fucking hilarious.”

Meanwhile, Lizzie had regained her composure. “Well, don’t keep us on the rack. What’s the latest news?”

Skye cleared her throat before scanning the pages. “After things got frosty between us in Poland, Lizzie and I have apparently decided on an open relationship. Good for us,” she looked up and blew her friend a kiss, which made Lizzie giggle. “They’re still taking bets when Merula is going to come out of the closet -”

“What is this bullshit with me being gay all the time,” Merula snarled.

“You just give that vibe, I know what I’m talking about,” Skye shrugged indifferently before carrying on. “We already had Orion being a ladies’ man and Ev… “

Skye trailed off as she read the paragraph again and looked up after she had finished. “There are pictures of you with Rita Skeeter in here, what’s that about?”

“None of your business,” Everett answered brusquely.

Lizzie saw Skye’s face darken at his tone and quickly snatched the magazine out of Skye’s hands. Just as anticipated, Skye’s attention immediately went to her as she tried to get it back.

The potential fight being dissolved before it had begun, the mood was gradually calming down again. It was an almost relaxed atmosphere in the dressing room, when the door opened and Ethan walked in. He looked very tense and as the door fell shut behind him with a bang, the muscles around his mouth were tight. He exhaled slowly, his hands running over his lessening brown hair.

Skye was disconcerted to see her father looking so unusually stressed. “Dad, what’s wrong?”

He held up a hand to silence her before producing a crumpled package of cigarettes from his pocket. Flicking his silver lighter open, he held the flame to one of them. “I’ll explain in a minute.”

“You do realise that there’s smoke detectors in here?” Lizzie pointed out apprehensively. “I don’t know about you but I don’t care much about getting soaked.”

Ethan took the glowing cigarette out of his mouth again and put it out against the nearest table. “Fucking rules,” he muttered. “Nobody gave a shit back in my days.”

Orion looked up from his notebook, his dark eyes unreadable as they took in Ethan’s nervous demeanour. “It’s clear to see that you’re agitated, but a pain is shared is a pain halved. What’s the matter?”

Ethan sighed, wistfully closing the packet of cigarettes before stowing it away in his pocket. “I had a few calls back and forth with the label over the last few days.”

“So?” Skye urged him on.

“They’re not particularly impressed with what the press is writing about you at the moment. They’re considering cutting the budget for the next album by half.”

His words went down like a lead balloon in the silence spreading throughout the room; no one could believe what they were hearing.

“Why the fuck would they do that?” Skye finally managed to croak out. “The next album was going to be our biggest production so far.”

“Why are they even thinking about it?” Lizzie agreed. “We’re playing to a full house every night. We’re doing a great job, if I may say so, and the reviews have all been really positive so far. The press has been good.”

But Ethan shook his head. “No, Lizzie, the press hasn’t been good at all. People don’t care about professional reviews in respectable magazines anymore. Everything the public sees is what’s written in those goddamn tabloids.” He was eyeing Skye’s copy of the Daily Mail with a grim face. “And they’re having a field day with you; have been for a while now.”

His look darkened further as his gaze swept the round of musicians assembled in front of him, resting particularly long on Everett, who didn’t budge in the slightest.

“Some of you are taking this whole ‘rockstar’ lifestyle too seriously. What was fun and games in my time doesn’t work today anymore. I’ve been told that the label had to fork out a good amount of money to get some positive stories about you out, counter the negative attention you’ve been getting.”

His words were met with icy silence, none of them feeling personally addressed by Ehtan’s barely hidden accusation.

“Listen,” he continued more placatory, “I know sex, drugs and rock ‘n’ roll are all fun to do, I’ve been there myself. But these days, people aren’t as easy about diva behaviour and trashed hotel rooms.”

Again, he was giving Everett a hard stare. “Cleaning up behind you costs the label hard cash. Cash they’re now cutting from the production budget.”

“That is very unfortunate to hear,” Orion spoke into the ensuing silence. “Is there anything we can do to make them reconsider their actions?”

Ethan’s face lit up with enthusiasm. “Good that you’re asking! I already designed a battle plan for us, we won’t have them compromise our work that easily.”

He placed both of his hands on the table where Merula and Everett were sitting, tapping the smooth surface with his fingers. “I’m thinking about going all out on the charm offensive. We’re going to be doing more interviews, more meet ‘n’ greets, fan events, charity bullshit, more of everything. You name it, we’re going to do it. We have to show the public you’re not some off-hook dickheads but still the old friends with a fucking heart of gold like you were when Equinox started.”

Merula snorted derisively. “Nice thought, but I doubt that will impress the guys from the label. You said it yourself, they’re all about the money, they don’t care about this sentimental bullshit.”

“You’re right,” Ethan said, “that’s why I struck a deal with them.”

The way he was avoiding Orion’s eyes was boding ill on Lizzie. And sure enough, Orion’s shoulders were tense as he spoke, his voice noticeably cooler than before. “What kind of deal?”

“They want to know if your new material is worth the huge investment. We need to prove that we’re still the best horse in their stable and they should place their bets on us instead of the new blood they recently signed, like that Winger guy.”

He ran his hand over his dark goatee as he met Orion’s eyes. “Some representatives are going to come to one of the shows in Manchester, see whether what you’re doing is still good enough for their full support.”

He raised his chin in a commanding gesture as he continued. “And they want to see how the crowd reacts to the new songs.”

Lizzie involuntarily held her breath. Orion was particular about his music; Ethan could have just as well asked him to set down his guitar and never touch it again.

And sure enough, his answer to Ethan’s proposition was simple. “No.”

But Ethan wasn’t about to acknowledge defeat so easily. “Yes. If we give the crowd and accordingly the label a taste of what’s to come, they’re going to see that we only deserve the best of the best once we’re ready to hit the studio again.”

Orion, however, remained unimpressed. “No.”

Ethan blinked, clearly irritated at the refusal to cooperate. “Why not?”

“None of the songs are ready to be shared. You don’t serve your guests a half-cooked meal and neither do you hang a picture missing its colours on the wall.”

His eyes narrowed as he looked Ethan straight in the face, the look in his eyes unwavering. “I won’t have my unfinished work being sold for profit; that’s not what this is about.”

Ethan glared at Orion, but instead of a sharp remark from his side, Everett spoke up. “We could play my stuff.”

Clearly surprised at the unexpected offer, Ethan turned his attention to the singer of the band. “You got songs of your own?”

Everett shrugged nonchalantly. “Sure I do. Just promise me they’ll be featured on the album and they’re all yours.”

Hesitant about giving Everett the confirmation he was asking for, Ethan focused on Orion again. “‘No’ is your last word?”

Lizzie had heard some of Everett’s songs before. They weren’t bad by all means, but they were lacking the finesse Orion’s music brought with it. She knew Ethan would take whatever he was offered, but that wouldn’t be in the band’s best interests.

“I know you're protective of your work,” she told Orion quietly, giving him an encouraging smile, “but you showed me what you’ve written so far, and some of the songs are almost there. They’re the best you’ve ever done, believe me. Everyone’s going to love them.”

Orion held her gaze for a moment, searching for the affirmation he needed to agree to a deal he didn’t want to make, but knew he had to in the end.

When he finally tore his eyes away from hers, he looked at Ethan and sighed. “Fine, have my songs. Under one condition,” he added, nipping Ethan’s victorious grin in the bud. “Until I’m completely satisfied with them, I’m going to sing them.”

“Excuse me?” Everett bristled up, “Am I the singer of this band or you? Get out of my fucking spotlight.”

Orion shook his head. “You misunderstand; I’m not trying to fight you for your place in the sun, my friend. But I wouldn’t know how to explain to you what I want the songs to sound like until they’re really finished.”

Ethan snorted. “Stop being a diva, Orion.”

But Orion was adamant in his resolve. “I’m not. All I want is for the people caring about our music to get what they deserve; and they don’t deserve some unfinished songs that aren’t even played the way they’re supposed to be.”

Both Ethan and Orion were staring at each other for a moment longer, before Ethan threw his hands up in exasperation. “Fine, have it your way then.”

Not believing what he was hearing, Everett stood up from his seat. His aggressive energy seemed to fill the room, making it feel a lot smaller than it actually was.

“Are you for real?” he snarled at Ethan. “I’m the frontman of this band, not him! It’s bad enough that his songs are the only ones that get played when mine are easily as good.”

He turned to Orion, eyes sparkling with anger. Lizzie, who was still sitting next to him, tried not to shrink back before him, but Orion met his gaze as calmly as ever. However, this seemed to anger Everett even further.

“You always said you didn’t want to sing, you were perfectly happy with doing background vocals if you had to. Why now all of a sudden? Tell you why, you’re not happy there’s someone else who knows how to write a decent song in this band. Do you consider me a threat to you or what?”

Everett’s voice had risen considerably. Skye and Lizzie were sharing a worried glance as the two male members of their band were glaring at each other, Merula just looking to and fro between them with a bored expression.

Not wanting things to go south even more than they already were, Ethan stepped between Orion and Everett to break their eye contact. “Ev, calm down. There’s no need -”

He was interrupted by a sharp knock on the door. Taken by surprise, it took Ethan several attempts to make the strain disappear from his voice. He cleared his throat one more time before calling to whoever was waiting on the other side of the door.

“Come in.”

[twilitty]

Moonlit ch.1

This is the first chapter in my new fic Moonlit, it will be posted on Tumblr, ao3, and ffnet. New chapters uploaded every week and a half. Message/comment to be added to my tag list.

3k words

big thank you to my beta reader @effervescentlyirrevocable who has given me the absolute best criticism and helped make this chapter so beautiful :)

Bella moves to Forks Washington, her first week is uneventful. This fic has aged up characters, making them all at entry-college level ages.

Chapter One

My senses are sharper in Forks than they were in Phoenix, I’ve only been here a handful of days yet everything seemed brighter, louder, more alive than my past home. There was something here for me, something that made me feel more alert than I have in years.

The sound of heavy rain slowly pulls me out of my restless sleep, an elbow is thrown across my eyes in an attempt to keep the real world at bay. It’s always raining, the mist layering the ground never abandons its post, and the chilly air seemingly lasts indefinitely. The rainy town of Forks Washington sooner resembles my personal hell than it does a sleepy old town. The forest that borders the town at each cardinal point is layered in green moss, damp dirt, and an endless supply of fresh animal tracks. I’d moved to Forks only a week ago, the sum of which was spent unpacking dreadfully thin clothing and acquainting myself with the few stores and public access areas the town has to offer.

My father, Charlie, has had little to do with this process apart from moral support and the occasional bag of fast food that he’s picked up while on shift. Charlie is the town's police chief, a job that both seems ill-needed and also unbearably boring. How much crime can be committed in a town of fewer than ten thousand citizens? Other than the odd tag on a school building or bush party, what does his shift consist of? I have yet to bring my insulting opinions on his career to his attention, and likely will never do so. He’s a good man with a heart of gold and a passion for the judicial system, which is ever-present in his TV browsing as he cruises through endless episodes of Law & Order.

I’m not a big TV person, even back home in Phoenix, I preferred reading to the television. Perhaps this was related to my mother’s endless stack of yoga DVD’s that seemed to consume our viewing; her in a downward dog position gossiping about her latest advancements at her newest club membership, me sitting on the couch finishing a craft for her so she won’t be late submitting it. My favourite of her crafts was embroidery, one month I embroidered nearly two hundred dandelions on a pair of jeans for her. She gave them to the club administrator as an apology before she quit.

Regardless, at night when the TV is blaring the intro theme to a cop show, I am curled in bed with a book under my nose and headphones in my ears. Blocking out the rain is a full-time chore.

This morning is a particularly eventful morning, not because of any specific events, but rather the events that will be set into motion because of this morning. Today is the first day of my online college courses. I’m currently enrolled in an undeclared major. My hope is that the three courses I’m taking this spring term will help me decide on what I want to do in the future.

Charlie had given me a new laptop upon my arrival in Forks, a current model with modest upgrades to “enhance my academic experience”. Or at least that’s what the box boasted. I am not entirely convinced that a larger memory will miraculously cure me of my educational despise. High school was tortuous, I had few friends and fewer interests outside of my mother’s hobbies. I had no extra-curricular activities that were not synonymous with financial responsibilities. The monthly budget book was mine to care for, as was the constant, intrusive phone calls of the bank when my mother got too engaged in a store. She’s a gullible woman if nothing else. If a store clerk tells her a blouse suits her figure, she’ll purchase ten colours in the article along with two in a size lower just in case she finally loses the ten pounds she’s been trying to shed.

My eyes have barely opened, the down of my forearm just a fraction away from my pupil when Charlie pounds against my door. You’d imagine I was fostering a fugitive in here with the noise he’s making, but this is just the way my father is, loud noises and soft voices. I wonder, idly, if perhaps he has minor hearing loss from spending so much time around guns.

“I’m up!” I call out, my voice is thin and calloused with morning sleep. I clear my throat as the knocking cuts off, “Good morning, Dad.” Charlie doesn’t like me calling him Charlie.

“Morning, Bells,” he calls back through the door, quiet enough to not be taken as aggressive yet loud enough to sound authoritative. He is a father, my father, at heart. He pauses, and it’s as if I can hear the mental gears shifting in his mind. He hasn’t had to be a father since I was a baby, after that Renee was the parent. Charlie was the summer distraction. “Don’t be late for school.” I grunt a response, reaching for the alarm clock on my nightstand and groaning at the early hour of the morning. Barely eight, class doesn’t officially start until noon. I guess there’s nothing wrong with logging in early, although I’d much rather catch up on the sleep I’ve lost to the thunderous storms we’ve been experiencing recently.

As if he could sense my intentions, Charlie knocks against my door again. “Bella, I mean it. You didn’t come here to slack off, now.” No, I think nastily, I came here for peace and quiet.

Between unpacking my belongings and touring the town, I’ve developed a routine in my new living situation. Charlie is fond of my company, enjoying having a woman in the house outside of his ex-wife, my mother and ex-roommate. Although, his fondness of my presence does not directly translate to time spent together. He makes me breakfast, occasionally placing it in the oven to keep warm, and then immediately heads off to his family that is the Forks police station. We meet again for lunch, depending on our individual plans for the day, and then reunite again just in time for dinner. Food really is the great American pastime.

I dress in jeans and a light blue sweater that smells mysteriously of mildew although it’s a recent purchase and has yet to be worn outdoors. I suppose the rain permeates every available space, closed windows be damned. My socks are tall and I have to roll my jeans up at the bottoms to accommodate for the thick, high fabric of them. It’s a trick Charlie taught me for wearing rain boots, the higher the socks the less likely they are to run down to your toes as you walk. Immediately after that trick was taught I went to the nearest hiking store and purchased a pair of rain boots. My first pair of rain boots at nineteen years of age. Unfathomable yet ironic considering my lineage marks back to the wettest town in the continental US. My ancestors roll in their graves every time I step outdoors and forget a jacket or umbrella, I’m sure of it.

Charlie is waiting for me downstairs, both a surprise and unwelcome presence. I had a battered copy of Dorian Gray under my arm, I was expecting philosophy and moral ambiguity, not idle conversation. Before the chief notices my book, I slide it over the back of the couch and enter the kitchen with a polite smile. There’s bacon frying on the stovetop, the police chief is dressed in uniform already, but has a stained white apron tied around his neck. “Dad?”

“Oh,” he turns around and gives me a tight smile, “Excited for your big day?” You’d imagine it’s my first day of preschool with the amount of enthusiasm he’s trying to keep hidden from me, not my first day of online school. I don’t say anything to dampen his mood, I’m glad he’s excited about something. His life is repetitive, if my existence here proves to be no more useful than just disrupting his schedule, it will still be a success.

“Yeah, I guess.” He turns back to the bacon and shifts it around quickly, the grease snapping up at him. If it burns him he doesn’t show it, just maintains the stiff-backed posture of a respectable police officer cooking his daughter breakfast. “I’ve gotta ask, what’s up with the apron?” I stifle a giggle behind a bite of the toast that’s sitting in the middle of the small table. He shakes his head in faux annoyance.

Charlie takes the pan off the hot element, sliding the bacon onto two plates and pouring the grease into an open can. The second trick he taught me since arriving here: never pour grease down the drain.

“I’m in uniform, it would be disrespectful to the badge to stain it.” He slides a plate of bacon in front of me, sitting down in his designated seat across the table. “Besides,” he takes a sip of coffee from his to-go mug. “Can you imagine walking into a police station smelling of fried pig?”

Breakfast ends quickly. We each eat a piece of toast, Charlie stuffing a second piece into a plastic bag “for later” and heading out the door. I still have half a plate of bacon in front of me after he leaves, the maple glaze filling the small kitchen with its smell.

After my Mom and Charlie got married, Renee redecorated much of the house. Her lace curtains still hang in the master bedroom window, constantly drawn closed. The rest of the house has been minorly updated with age, the TV got bigger, the couch more comfortable, new bed linens and even newer rocking chairs on the porch. I had asked Charlie if they were Moms when I first came up to the house a week ago.

They were rocking gently in the wind, the wood seemed to be polished as it shined in what little light filtered through the depressive clouds. They were sitting side by side, matching pillows on them both, a coffee table in the middle with a stack of coasters. It was an old person's porch, where husband and wife would sit all grey and wrinkled, waving at the neighbourhood kids as the bus dropped them off from school. I could almost picture Charlie and Renee sitting there, her knitting a scarf and him content to just watch her and the scenery.

He informed me that they were relatively new, a purchase from a shop down on the Reservation. We haven’t spoken about them since, but I wonder if perhaps he wishes he had someone to sit out there with him.

I spend the morning before class doing odd chores around the house. It’s nice living at Charlie’s, nicer than I had expected it to be. I’m not a fan of the weather or the fact that I currently have no social life, but it’s nice to just sit. I throw my laundry in the wash and manage to get the kitchen cleaned up with just enough time left over to sit on the couch and read a chapter of my book before class.

School has never been my strong suit. That’s not to say I get poor marks or intentionally skip classes, I just never found it as fulfilling as my peers seemed to. I never woke up and looked forward to the social or academic aspect of high school. Perhaps this contributed to me postponing my college experience and only starting it now when I should already be a year into my program.

When I log into my schools online database and click on my first class, Social Psychology 1001, I’m immediately transported to a screen filled with windows and the faces of my classmates. “Hello, class!” The professor's voice calls out over my computer. Perhaps online school won’t be my strong suit either.

Class ends and the next one starts, and I get through all three classes and an hour's worth of homework by the time Charlie pops in for dinner.

“Hey, Bells,” He calls as he opens the front door. I can hear him from where I sit in the kitchen, hanging his gun belt up by the front door and kicking his boots off into a heap on the floor. I imagine Mom back in Phoenix, walking into the house with arms full of bags and tossing her flip flops onto her pile of shoes beside the coatrack she used for purses. Some things won’t ever change.

“How was work?” I ask. He pauses to poke his head into the kitchen, moustache moving as he chews on his lip. I can’t remember when Charlie initially grew out his moustache, just that one summer I arrived and thought could he look more like a cop?

“Good, good, just some meetings. New family moving into town, all foster kids around your age.” He takes pause, staring off into some middle ground in the hallway as if deep in thought. His eyebrows furrow, “Don’t want any trouble makers coming in, but the father seems nice. Respectable.”

“That’s nice,” I contribute conversationally. Charlie and I rarely have material conversations, always just idle talk of the weather or what's for dinner. I’m not entirely sure how to approach this topic, which clearly seems to be occupying his mind.

“Yeah, he’s a doctor.” He grins at this, toothy and a little crooked to the right side. A pang of embarrassment settles in my chest before he speaks, as if knowing where this will turn. “Perfect for you, considering how often your clumsiness-” I wave a hand over my face, grimacing at his words. “Don’t speak it into existence,” I mutter with a half-hearted plea underlying my words. He chuckles, disappearing up the stairs.

I hear the shower turn on after a few minutes of him fumbling around, presumably trying to get undressed. I’m sure once he’s showered and in sweatpants it’ll be twenty questions about my day of school. I’m not sure I have the heart to break the truth to him: it absolutely sucked.

The material was interesting enough, psychology has always been close to my heart. I loved the idea of people being more than their actions and thoughts, that there was something making them say that or something making them act that way. Perhaps this was yet another symptom of having Renee for a mother.

I sit at the kitchen table for a moment longer, my computer is closed in front of me and my pencil case- dreadfully unnecessary with school being online-sits closed and untouched. I haven’t made any friends in my classes, not that I had expected to. Twelve years of public school and no friend group to show for it, just a few texts every couple of weeks. Why would I have believed college, and an online college at that, would be any better?

Having enough with my thoughts, I get up from the table and pack my things into my bag. I’ve completed enough work for today, the rest of the evening I’ll spend either with Charlie or in my room. I’d rather not be nose deep in pdf textbooks and youtube videos constituting as follow-up lectures, I’ve had enough of that today. As if sensing the immediacy of my departure from the kitchen, the shower cuts off and I hear the bathroom door squeak open. For a man who, until recently, lived alone with too much free time, you’d imagine he’d have taken better care of the house. Nearly every door, except my own, creaks open and closed. I made sure to oil my hinges nearly immediately after moving in, I didn’t want Charlie to wake up every time I sneak downstairs for a comfort snack or warm glass of milk to help me sleep. He’s lived alone for nearly twenty years, he doesn’t need his sleep schedule disrupted now.

“The game is on in-” Charlie pauses as if double-checking the times mentally, “- an hour and a half. Are you interested?” He’s calling from up the stairs. I wonder if he truly wants me to watch the game with him, whatever sport it may be, or if he’s only being polite.

“Uh, I was just going to organize my room right now and then maybe make something for dinner,” I say in response. The floors don’t make a noise and I know he’s heard me, but he doesn’t respond. A lump forms in my throat, perhaps he really did want to watch with me.

“That’s fine, but if you want we can order in?” The lump passes and I convince myself that there is no reason to avoid the TV. It’s not like I’ll be a disruption, if I get bored I can read on the couch. I’ve only watched TV with Charlie on a few occasions since my move here, and each time I strategically saved my questions for the commercial breaks.

“Sure! That works.” The floorboards creak and I hear him retreat into his room, the door closing with a pitiful squeak.

We eat pizza on the couch, a large meat-lover for the carnivorous father and a small vegetarian with extra mushrooms for the daughter who cares about her cardiovascular health. We eat slowly, occasionally Charlie will make a face at the television or mumble something under his breath, but other than that we’re quiet. The sport turns out to be baseball and I recall a few of the basic rules from the tragic gym classes of my past. It’s not disastrous in any way, and surprisingly I don’t get bored. There is something relaxing about the repetitive nature of the game.

After the game ends we box up the remaining slices and put them in the fridge to be eaten tomorrow, say good night, and go our separate ways at the top of the stairs.

taglist:

@musingsofvenus @maybesandohnos