#considering how much he hates my ass but he better 🔪🔪🔪🔪🔪

[dolliedyhard]

🔪Jeff The Killer Headcanons🔪 [PART 1]

I think is about time I posted my headcanons for him! BOY I did not plan this post to be sooooooo long, I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY OMGGG!!! I LUV HIM SO MUCH (  ੭꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)੭ ᰔ. I might have to make this into a multiple part series on my blog. These are all hc’s for adult Jeff, I have completely different ones for when he was a teen and I’ll make one for teen Jeff later on. None of these hc’s involve his relationship with Dollie or other pastas, this is all about him. All of this is SFW. Enjoy <3

AU: Paracosm of the Vagabonds

‼️TW: mentions of self harm‼️

♥︎A/N: btw this is my first time making/posting hc’s so plz don’t jump me if they’re bad- (/ _ ; )

♥︎Appearance & Attributes♥︎

He’s 25 y/o

6’4

Straight

White American

Full name is Jeffery Woods. I’ve always liked his name the way it was so I’m not changing it.

Muscular and lean. He’s got more of a sleeper build tho.

Despite being lit of fire he managed to heal his hair, it’s healthy now.

He loves keeping his hair long. He’ll never CONSIDER cutting it short. His hair is one of his favorite parts of himself.

He for certain wants his hair to be down to his waist one day

Hair type is 1c

Jeff’s hair is naturally brown. When the “incident” happened the fire made his hair temporarily black. (Ik that’s not how real logic works but cmon let me have fun >:c)

After a few months his hair went back to brown

Now he dyes his hair black bc he prefers it that way.

His tattoos don’t mean anything, he just got them because he thought they were cool.

He smells like incense and ash most of the time.

If he decided to finally wash his clothes then he smells like clean laundry.

He doesn’t wear cologne, he’s never cared for it.

He showers like twice a week. For the rest of the week he just wipes himself down this a cloth.

At least he uses a soap cloth (oh thank GOD)

When “the incident” happened his face scars would constantly bleed and wouldn’t close.

It was really sensitive and if he smiled or laughed to hard it would gush out again.

It took multiple years for the wound to permanently close.

It’s completely healed now it’s just deformed skin

The scars on his body are from fights, him doing stupid shit or self harm.

He’s not hairy, some underarm hair but that’s all

His veins are most visible in his forearms and hands

I don’t have a voice claim for him (YET!) but his voice is pretty deep and it has a raspy sound to it

He has dark circles under his eye from staying up for days at end

He got some sharp ass canine teeth. In my AU he got bit by a vampire. He didn’t get turned into one bc the transformation was stopped right after his vamp fang came in.

Warm to the touch. Doesn’t matter what season it is, his body manages to retain a significant amount of body heat.

His skin is very pale due to lack of sunlight and frequent blood loss.

♥︎Personality♥︎

When meeting him for the first time he comes off as an asshole.

He insults everyone and it’s hard to hell if he’s joking or not.

And if he’s really pissed he’ll get REAL creative with the insults.

Swears like a sailor

He’s distant and off putting to people that aren’t in his circle.

He loves showing off and will do it no matter what. Even if the circumstances are dangerous.

Jeff loves stroking his ego, it’s so obnoxious but he could care less.

Lowkey thinks he better than everyone

LAWD he’s handsome and he knows it

Doesn’t care about ur personal space

Will creep up on u to whisper shit in ur ear to scare you. And other stuff like that.

Gives people the nastiest stares of all time. And I dare u too say something to him about it, he’ll square TF UP.

Says some really offensive shit but he doesn’t care if you get upset because of it.

And he’ll say it loud and proud no matter how much of a dumbass he looks like saying it.

Jeff’s one of the most defiant proxies in the mansion

He listens to NO ONE and hates more than anything to be bossed around.

Though he partially listens to Slenderman, yk, bc he has to so he can live in the mansion. Masky too bc he’s Slenderman’s right hand man.

Can’t laugh like a normal person to save his life

Like he’s literally out of breath, red face, everything

“How do I befriend him?!?” I hear you say

Like I said before he loves his ego being satisfied so u could just blow smoke up his ass.

But to him you’ll be more like a “fan” than a friend.

And he will just use you for his benefit. He’ll step all over u since you’ve shown ur willing to be submissive to him ＿|￣|○

Show him you’re not to be fucked with but not to be intimidated by.

For Jeff it’s more about if you guys get along and have a good time together than having the same interests.

Jeff only plays favorites if he has a crush on you

Oh boy is he one petty motherfucker… He holds grudges over anything with anyone and is very vengeful.

He’s quick to temper too. He’ll go into a rage induced episodes and they can last for days at a time.

That’s due to his IED (Intermittent Explosive Disorder) and just him being a fucked up person.

He also has BPD (Bipolar Personality Disorder)

He’s not trying to manage his IED by being more laidback and comedic but that’s not really helping.

Not a big fan of animals. So if you were to ask him what is fav animal was he wouldn’t say any.

♥︎Interests♥︎

Wannabe lead guitarist

He’s not good enough to be the lead but his ego says otherwise.

He owns a sick ass guitar tho

Started out being emo in his early teens, now he’s more of a metal head.

(I don’t know much about nu-metal or any metal at ALL so I can’t rlly say who his favs are. SORRY IM AN EMO FUCK AT HEART OKAY???)

Listens to goth music occasionally too

Loves going to concerts no matter who’s performing

If you happen to bring up a band he’s seen live before he will 100% without fail say “I saw them live at _!” And will proceed to info dump about what went down.

Even worse if they were in their prime when he went.

Fashion wise he dresses alternative but it’s nothing fancy.

A band tee + hoodie or jacket, jeans, shoes (cons, or boots), for accessories belt and some spikes bracelets. That’s about it :v

And yes he does consider his piercings as accessories.

Paints his nails black on special occasions

Likes to collect weird stuff

His biggest collection is of knifes

Some of them are ornamental and some he actually uses to kill

He gets the money to fuel his collection off the dead bodies of his victims

Also has a strange fascination with history

Specifically historical torture methods & atrocities

Sometimes he uses the same torture methods he learned about on his victims.

HUGE HORROR NERD

He collects dvds of slasher & horror movies

And of course you can’t forget about the vintage TV to play them on!

He’s not a fan of snuff films or gore videos

It just takes out the art out of film making. Why should he watch uninspired shock gore for 0% satisfaction when he can go cause it for 100% satisfaction?

♥︎Killing♥︎

To Jeff killing is something he does for 3 things. Survival, satisfaction, and emotional regulation.

Once he’s got you in his grasp you won’t make it out alive.

Jeff commits the worst murders when he’s having a IED or BPD episode.

He’s not a kidnapper type serial killer

He likes to get the job done by the end of the day at the longest

He loves the taste of blood and often licks it off his knife

He thinks he can train himself to be able to taste the differences between blood types.

He just likes inflicting pain on complete strangers, it’s thrilling to him.

And it’s usually not a stab and go kill, when he first started out that’s how it was bc it was more for survival.

Now Jeff has the taste for blood. And he’s got some horrifyingly creative ways to extract it.

Nowadays you’ll be lucky if it’s a stab and go. His goal is to make sure u feel the agony, every. second. of. it.

He would never consider hurting someone close to him, that would severely fuck with him.

Since the murder of his family he has no one. So he cherishes the few people close to him a lot more than he used to.

He’s never had any regrets about any of the many murders he has committed.

The one and only time he’s ever felt bad about inflicting violence on someone is his older brother Liu.

♥︎Vices♥︎

Jeff is a regular smoker (hence why he smells like ash)

He’s able to blow different shapes out of smoke

Prefers cigarettes over anything else

Hates vapes tho, he think they make you look like a massive pussy.

He’ll flat out refuse to fw you if you whip out your fruity-tuti flavored e-stick when yall go on a smoke break.

Jeff’s not a big drinker

Drinking just ups his already high sex drive to the max and he acts like a complete idiot when he’s drunk. Then after all that his hangover is fucking hell.

At the most he’ll get a bit tipsy cause the boost in arousal makes sex tenfold better.

Jeff’s never done any hard drugs and doesn’t care to.

Who needs a drug addiction when you have a murder addiction?

Okay so about the self harm earlier…

♥︎A/N: Btw in my au Jeff had a much shitter life than the og Jeffery Woods so all of this with context makes sense.

Jeff doesn’t s/h anymore but did it heavily in his teens before he went crazy.

His life was genuinely a miserable hellscape that was picking at his sanity and at every turn it only got worse.

His mother and father didn’t care about him at all. The only person that actually cared and loved Jeff was Liu. But Liu rarely showed any affection towards Jeff so it didn’t really matter how Liu felt about him.

No one knew what Jeff was doing to himself up until he ended up in the hospital with the gashes on his cheeks.

You have reached the end. TYSM FOR READING!!!

I hope you enjoyed reading my headcanons, and I will be doing more hc’s in the future for other creepypastas.

Stay frosty❄️ BAIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!

[californiaquail]

christmas fucking eve and i'm on my way to w*rk even though there's almost nothing scheduled because my boss is an asshole maniac

[absolutepokemontrash]

-Gamer Anon-

(Walks in)

For Himiko...

I’LL ORDER IT ALL!

I know this has the same energy of walking into a restaurant and ordering everything but that’s exactly what I want >:3

Damn, okay then-

Himiko

😈: Who is your favourite brother?

Himiko: Oh, that’s easy.

Mammon: Fuck yeah it is!

Himiko: Iiiiiiiiits…

Mammon: Mhm! Mhm!

Himiko: Beel! :D

Mammon: Beel- WAIT BEEL?!

Himiko: What? You don’t think Beel’s great? So mean…

(Her favourite brother is Mammon, she simps for him just as much as he simps for her)

👻: What is your race? Human?

Himiko: Depressingly so. So human and fragile.

Belphie: Fragile my ass, you blasted a chimera five times your size into nothing.

Himiko: So… so fragile…

🔮: Do you possess magic?

Himiko: *bouncing a small fireball between her hands* No.

🖤: Which of the sins do you most align with?

Himiko: I’ve been told it’s pride, but there’s something else… something the brothers don’t fully possess.

(Himiko later becomes the Avatar of Despair, her secondary sin is pride)

🪡: Do you believe in fate?

Answered here

💜: where are you from?

Himiko: I lived in the states for the first few years of my life, but I spent most of my time in Kyoto.

🕷: what’s your biggest fear?

Himiko: …heights.

🐈‍⬛: how long did it take you to adjust?

Himiko: Who said I ever adjusted? Nah, just kidding. In all honesty, pretty quickly. I mean, if I didn’t, I’d be dead so…

👿: who is your least favorite brother?

Himiko: Hate to break it to you, but I don’t have a least favourite brother. And for everyone expecting me to say the “obvious ones”, Lucifer may be a hardass, but he wants what’s best for everyone and really loves us, Belphie may be a brat, but he actually put effort in to be better and unlearn his shitty coping mechanism.

🕸: what is your favorite magical subject?

Himiko: Seductive speechcraft, it’s basically flirting for a grade. Being paired with Mammon is only a bonus.

Mammon: F-for you, maybe…

(Mammon is often too flustered to complete his part of the assignments.)

👾: do you game with Levi?

Himiko: Well, duh, he, Mammon and I game all the time. I’m just… not that good at it.

Leviathan: Her average placing in Devil Kart is 9th lmao

Himiko: Shut up, weeb.

💀: how is your relationship with belphie?

Answered here

🦄: what is your favorite mythical creature?

Himiko: Dragons! They’re so cool! Diavolo and Mammon took me to see a few, once! They asked if I wanted to fly with one, and I… well… had to decline…

🔪: Which brother would you stab?

Himiko: Depends, to be fair I’d stab all of them if given the right context. They’re tough boys, they’d be fine.

(This is a bold faced lie. She refused to stab Luci at the end of season 2)

♋️: what is your zodiac sign?

Himiko: Uhhhh, I think I’m a Capricorn? Born in the year of the rabbit?

🎱: have you gotten detention?

Himiko: Yep, dozens of times.

*Himiko and Mammon high five*

Mammon: Several rules have been added to the list because of us!

Lucifer: That is not something to be proud of.

🦷: What chapter are you on in your studies?

Himiko: Eh? It’s summer break. I’m on a train trip with Mam and Luke right now if you’re wondering.

(I’m on lesson 51)

🎵: what skills do you have?

Himiko: Well, I can sing, play the piano, I like to cook and bake- oh! And how could I forget.

*Himiko opens the door to her room, loud fighting can be heard*

Himiko: SHUT THE FUCK UP DOWN THERE!

*the fighting quiets*

Himiko: I can make rowdy demons calm as capybaras.

🐃: what is your favorite devildom food?

Himiko: Ygh, god, I can’t stand the food here. Shit’s nasty.

Solomon: Miss Himiko here is a picky eater, she won’t eat my food either.

Himiko: I’ll only eat food that I’m sure isn’t poisonous, and considering Lucifer and the others chug cyanide like it’s apple juice, I’ll pass on most of their food.

☂: Do you like the eternal moon?

Himiko: Honestly? Yeah. I was never a big fan of the sun, and the lack of light has done wonders for my sun-sensitive skin.

Asmodeus: We’re both delicate little flowers when exposed to the sun~❤️

🪄: are you friends with solomon?

Himiko: No.

Solomon: We’re the best of friends.

(Their relationship is very… VERY complicated)

🗝: how do you feel about the attic?

Himiko: Well, I mean, at this point it’s just another room in the house.

✝️: Are you religious?

Himiko: Nope. I was raised atheist. But uh…

*Himiko looks around*

Himiko: Guess that was wrong.

🖋: what do you think of diavolo?

Answered here

🔗: What are your kinks?

Himiko: WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?!

*If you squint, you can see a pair of handcuffs peaking out from a slightly open dresser drawer*

🤍: are you friends with simeon?

Himiko: I mean, yeah, he’s dating my older sister.

(After meeting Himiko’s eldest sister, Hanako, Simeon begins to date her. They’re both teasing bastards ❤️)

♠️: do you gamble like mammon?

Himiko: I’m no addict, but I’ll gamble if I’m in a casino. I don’t do it too much though, someone around here needs to be Mammon’s self control.

Mammon: OI! I don’t need no- oooo, a new casino opened up!

Himiko: …I’ll follow him after the last question.

🟣: will you be sad to leave the devildom?

Himiko: Well, I mean, eh. I’ll miss the brothers, sure, but it isn’t safe for my sisters down here, and I need to be with them too, so. Besides, I can come visit literally any time I want.

🦴: would you make a deal to come back?

Himiko: Pfff, why would I do that if I can just tell Solomon or Barbatos to open a portal so I can go visit?

*Himiko stands up at claps her hands*

Himiko: As wonderfully invasive this has been, dear little question askers, I need to go make sure Mammon doesn’t bet our honeymoon fund on the ponies. Later!

***********

PHEW! That was fun!