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oveliagirlhaditright · 4 months

Text

Do the Math

Summary: It's an equation that needs to be solved: what to do to protect his son from Holtz. So maybe it's a good thing that Buffy seems so good at math now...

Or "Angel asks the Scoobies to come help him protect Connor from Holtz. And Angel realizes that while everything Buffy and Connor seems figured out, maybe some things between him and the Slayer still need to be equated."

Oneshot. Fluff. Romance. Bangel. Slight Angel and Connor (mentioned). And slight Buffy and Connor (mentioned). Buffy season 6/Angel season 3 AU.

Author's Note: So, I’m sure the timeline is messed up here: like I’m sure the Buffy S6 and Angel S3 timelines aren’t adding up at all, tbh, but shh. This fic is pretty soon after Xander left Anya at the altar. And right after that happens (no Seeing Red stuff or anything past that occurs), Angel calls Buffy and the Scoobies to come help him and the Fang Gang in L.A., in thinking that maybe Holtz is too much a threat to Connor, after all, and he could use their help. And they all do head to L.A. (minus Giles, obviously. And Spike, who thinks that he’s finally losing Buffy here, and wouldn’t be able to stand seeing her and Angel together. And also Anya, since Xander just left her). And Willow and Tara do get back together, and manage to work things out, though it’s no easy journey: that’s kind of the background for this fic.

Do the Math

"When did you realize that you love math, Buffy?" Angel asked the love of his life, while she sat doing Sudoku for sun in the Hyperion's lobby.

She was sitting in one of the circular, green seats that Angel had never entirely been able to figure out… because in some ways they seemed to not fit in with the Hyperion’s décor.

…And yet he’d always loved them with his whole heart, as they’d brought to mind of things like greenhouses—that he could never touch at the time of day he wished he could, but dreamed that he someday would be able to.

Angel had asked Buffy and her friends to come to the Hyperion when he could no longer deny to himself the threat that Holtz could be to his son. He knew that the Slayer would be able to help protect Connor as well as he could. So selfishly, he’d made a call to Sunnydale, asking Buffy if she was available.

When Angel had explained his reasoning, even though Angel knew the story of Connor’s conception had hurt Buffy, she had left without a second thought.

But it was only as he had been talking to her here since Buffy’s arrival, that he was learning he couldn’t have asked her to come at a worse time: he’d been able to see the tension in her shoulders the moment she had walked in.

According to Buffy, Xander had left his fiancée at the altar, Giles had left her, Dawn was a klepto-maniac, and Willow was addicted to magic—and had even gone so far as to do a memory spell on her girlfriend—that she’d only just forgiven her from.

And Buffy herself… she still seemed to be carrying everyone’s burdens as if they were her own, like she’d always done, but she still seemed as shaken as she had the night he’d first seen her when she came back (how Angel cursed himself for that awkward night and walking away). And he knew there was something about Spike… whenever he mentioned him, Buffy got a far-away look in her eyes and looked shamed and dead in the same breath.

But maybe he could make her feel better by bringing up this new thing that seemed to be bringing joy to her now, Angel thought. And so he carefully watched her face.

Buffy smiled, as she laid her work down for the moment, and gave Angel her one-word answer: "Factoring."

"Factoring?"

"What can I say? It's fun. And it finally clicked for me, when Willow sat down and tried to teach me it again after she and Tara broke up. I guess the other stuff is okay, too, like Order of Operations. And clearly, I like Sudoku… But mainly? It was Factoring."

Factoring. Huh. That was definitely interesting.

And when Buffy had mentioned how Willow had had to explain it to her again, it made the vampire remember how much Buffy had struggled with arithmetic in the past and just how much she’d hated it. More than once, she’d complained to him about it—wishing that Willow would realize that their study sessions were in vain, and that she “was never going to need this stuff in the real world,” and that she’d rather be shopping for shoes or, better yet, making out with him.

But this stuff was needed—something Buffy had eventually figured out and appreciated it. And she wasn’t the only one who was going to need it, Angel realized. Someone very special to him was. But how to even begin teaching him it?

"Buffy… I shouldn't be asking this," Angel started, but knowing that he was going to, anyway, because he loved Connor and would always want the best for him. He also adored the idea of Buffy being around Connor more than he wanted to admit. "But when Connor gets older, do you think you could tutor him? I know he's going to need to know Factoring, Algebra, and what have you for school… and it's all lost on me."

For just a second, Angel thought he saw a flash of pain in Buffy's eyes, but it was gone before he could really be sure he'd seen anything at all.

"I mean… that's going to be years from now, Angel," the Slayer voiced, decidedly not looking at him, he noticed, as she continued to look at her workbook. "What are you saying? That you want me to drop back in from Sunnydale once Connor's school-aged?

"Because despite everything… I do plan on going back. If not for my sacred duty—because I’m kind of done with Sunnydale: Faith can handle it—then to check on Anya. I mean, I may not have always shown it, but she is my friend, and-"

Buffy was clearly babbling now… and though she hadn't voiced it, Angel knew what the question she wasn't asking was: what she deemed to be too dangerous here, even though he had offered something similar to her when they'd met after her resurrection. 'Or are you asking me to stay?' is what she really wanted to voice.

He moved towards her with vampire speed, from where he had been mostly watching her from the other side of the room, and silenced her with a finger to her lips and a shake of his head. "No, Buffy, I- Fuck, I really thought I was better at this… What I'm saying is, I'd want you to stay."

Buffy stared at Angel for a long moment after he'd spoken, and Angel wished he could stake himself for it. He wanted to believe that the Slayer was, perhaps, hard of hearing, but he knew that the opposite was true.

At once, he was taken back to when he had broken up with Buffy. She had said that she wanted her life to be with his, and he had said he didn't—meaning he didn't want her to ruin her life on account of him, even if selfishly he wanted her more than anything. But Buffy had taken it as him meaning he didn't want to be with her, and he hadn't corrected her, in thinking that that might finally be the thing to get her to finally stop fighting for them and to try to walk into the sunlight.

…But things had not gone as planned. And more than once, Angel had had to furiously ask himself just how much he'd hurt her, in assuming he knew what she needed.

"Buffy-" he started.

But Buffy was finally answering him. "Oh. I didn't realize that when you asked for our help--namely my help—in protecting Connor from Holtz… you were asking to get back together."

'I actually wasn't,' Angel thought. 'Because I did this the wrong way. And if I had been trying to get you back then—and I am now—I would have gone about it all way better… how you deserve to be treated. Especially after how I've hurt you before,' Angel thought but didn't say. Buffy may have been a wiz at math now, but he knew that this equation would just confuse her, and she might stake him for how poorly he'd planned things. And honestly, he would have deserved it.

Instead, he went with saying an equally terrifying, "And how do you feel about that, Buffy?"

"Like you're still Mr. Cryptic," Buffy answered, punching his arm in irritation. "And confused. I-I want to be with you, Angel.

"God, I should not be admitting that to you, after everything,” she muttered, upon standing up and pacing with her hands in her pockets, once again looking anywhere but at him. “Because I'm not exactly the schoolgirl you once knew.

“But at the same time,” and here, Buffy did find the strength to stop and look Angel in the eyes as she swallowed. But it seemed to him she also half-expected him to burn her at the stake after her words, “…you saw how I reacted to you when you showed up to apologize about Faith, and at my mother's funeral… and even when I got brought back, though I was a wreck then. My feelings for you, despite everything, haven't changed…

"But some other things have. And I just don't know if this is the best time right now, Angel. I left The Trio in Sunnydale to come help you, and we don’t have Faith out of jail yet to deal with it. I'll be there for you and Connor right now. I'll even be willing to teach him for you, but I-"

And that was fair. More than fair, Angel thought as he nodded his head. And Angel wanted Buffy to know that, so he moved forward and gave her a hug. And while he knew he loved her again—he always had, and he'd been stupid to think he ever couldn't or could forget that—he tried to keep his feelings out of it, and let it be the first ever just friendly hug between them.

Buffy seemed to appreciate it, as she disappeared into his embrace for a long moment, before breaking away.

"That's fine, Buffy," Angel promised her, once she was looking at him again. "That's more than fine. Thank you. It's selfish of me to think that now that I want to be in your life again, you'd automatically be ready for that. In some ways, maybe I have been taking you for granted."

Buffy didn't comment on that, which somewhat confirmed it for Angel—and even more everything else she'd been going through lately that was weighing her down: surely way more than he even knew about yet—but she also didn't let the moment end there, either, as she gathered up her things and began heading up the lobby’s main stairway:

For over her shoulder she said, "But don't give up on me, either, Angel… I mean, Buffy + Angel always equaled forever."

And, Angel, with a small smile spreading across his face, found that he could only agree with her there.

Author's Note: I thought of this one night when I was trying to think of what jobs Buffy could have in the future.

And I think if someone could explain math for her so that it clicked, something like this COULD be possible. It somewhat reminds me of myself. Like, I was pretty dang good at math, actually, when people would took the time to make it make sense to me.

My one teacher, actually, became a math teacher because she loved factoring so much and thought it was fun, so that was inspired by her.

I think this was initially supposed to end a wee bit happier, with them getting back together. But I feel like this kind of fits the S6 vibes better. Buffy’s just going through too much right now to dive straight back into the Bangel relationship. And it’s still pretty happy, because we all know they’ll find their way back to each other eventually. But, anyway.

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