#congrats. i played myself
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by bewiart: https://www.instagram.com/bewiart
#doctor who#fanart#fifteenth doctor#timerogue#congrats I played myself!#commissioning angsty art and then it making me angsty
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DARIA KASATKINA, 2024 NINGBO OPEN CHAMPION ♡
#tennis#wta tennis#daria kasatkina#ningbo open 2024#now that i have officially composed myself. DASHA. DASHA WIN#i am still reeling from this ily dasha and congrats on the dub 💜#and ofc mirra played phenomenal..just a final i really enjoyed bc i love both players so dearly#also yes these are slightly filtered! trying more stuff out lol#ciara.gif#tennisedit
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I’m such a sucker for scruffy men with sad eyes 😭
#i cannot stop myself#they are everything to me#cassian andor#obi wan kenobi#boromir#arthur morgan#elendil#love him in rings of power he’s just so#*chefs kiss*#fucking Gabriel Van Helsing#the one Hugh Jackman plays specifically#talion from shadow of Mordor/War#boba fett#Karl Heisenberg but that’s less a ‘sad eyes’ thing and more a ‘criminally insane’ thing#Will Graham happens to fall into both categories congrats dear William#Han Solo to an extent (I mean he sets the template for scruffy-looking but that’s an emotional trash pile I would not get involved in)#I have SOME standards despite what this list says#James Norrington also fits those standards he’s just so babygirl#I’ve noticed a lot of these are Star Wars guys#hm#maybe bc I’m on a SW kick rn
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#my school president#my school president the series#tinngun#guntinn#tinn x gun#geminifourth#gemini norawit#fourth nattawat#thai bl#bl series#asian lgbtq dramas#asianlgbtqdramas#25shadesedit#me: im not going to gif msp because i have enough things to gif#me to myself: congrats you played yourself
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I’m starting a new game. It’s called “go to bed at 11pm”. It’s scored like so:
+5pts I go to bed at or before 11:00 pm
+4pts I go to bed at or before 11:15 pm
+2pts I go to bed at or before 11:30 pm
+1pt I go to bed before midnight
0pts I go to bed between 12 and 1 am
-1pt I lose 1 pt per 15 min after 1am
There’s also a DOUBLE POINTS BONUS which I will win if I snooze my alarm at most 2x in the morning. As the name suggests, it doubles the night’s point score. If my score for the night would be negative, the double points bonus causes it to be zeroed out. If my score would be zero, the bonus causes me to gain one point.
My goal is 28 points in 7 days, starting tonight. If I win, I get A Prize (tbd)
Astute readers may notice I’m typing this out at 2:55 am, thus giving me a potential score of -8pts for the night before the bonus. I’ll update y’all as I go.
#I desperately need to get more sleep at least this week if not in general#Hence I’m tricking myself#This trick only works if people know about it tho so congrats y’all are my accountability buddies now#Feel free to play too tho!#Fuck me; I’m gonna get four hours of sleep tonight#This is why we’re playing this game
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HAPPY ECHOES OF WISDOM DAY!!!
#legend of zelda#legendofzelda#the legend of zelda#loz#zelda#echoes of wisdom#sadly I cannot play it because I do not own a Switch myself#but I am vibrating at speeds yet to be perceived by mortal beings I am so excited for this game#finally screen time for our girl#though it is going to derail my Linktober plans even further than they've been derailed I am perfectly alright with it#*cackles hysterically in having 45 WIPs for each day and only 5 edited due to irl complications*#Anyway congrats on Zelda for getting playable time again after Hyrule Warriors and Spirit Tracks I can't wait to be able to write for her#Summer yaps
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head in hands like "maybe i should have realized this about myself sooner" as i am surrounded by neon flashing signs that Very Clearly Indicate the thing i should have realized about myself sooner
#anyway i'm just mulling about the 'tism skdjfhgljhdfg#thinking about how i've been having a hard time on site with my internship because i struggle to make small talk with my superiors#and everything is uncomfortable and terrible all of the time and i feel so so out of my depth#but talking with my university superior about the methodology of our profession#has me feeling like i'm playing just dance on extreme and i'm nailing every single beat w#like quite literally is like one of those rhythm games where when you get a combo it plays a cool sound effect#and i'm playing so well the sound effects are overlapping and the screen is just an explosion of stars w#so yeah i am. very comfortable talking academics and theory and things but. shit in social situations.#when i don't have that to rely on whoops#anyway it's just another thing on the incredibly long list of things i have building in my mind of#'why i should have realized i'm probably on the spectrum sooner'#the thrilling sequel to 'how did i go 20+ years without realizing i have ADHD' w#(speaking of)#(the way my ADHD has been leaping into the spotlight this week)#(biggest highlight was being jumpscared not once)#(not twice!!)#(but THREE times by food i had bought for myself)#(put down briefly)#(and then forgotten about for upwards of 30 minutes to 5 hours)#(like the other day i bought myself a little pastry on the way home as a congrats for surviving another week)#(and i put it on the table when i came inside)#(but i. forgot i did that. and went like 4 hours without even thinking about it)#(until i got up and left my room and saw the bag and went '! ! ! ! ! ! ! OH MY GO D MY PASTRY NOOOOOOO')#(the adhd and the autism . . . . they are attacking my ass . . . . . )
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this isnt what i usually post on this blog but I'm already sick of all the memes and 'jokes'. I am almost certainly leaving the fandom for good now because of the book of bills release and NO it is not because billford's community has an influx of supporters.
So the worship and romanticization of asylums and other abusive practices for mental health have been steadily gaining traction in recent years, especially with the rise of tiktok's toxicity.
SO many people, especially younger people, regularly talk about how they want lobotomies or how women they don't like should be lobotomized. They get tattoos of lobotomy like it's some quirky fun thing and not one of the most horrific tortures someone can endure.
These same people, ESPECIALLY leftists, will look at anyone they disagree with or don't like and say "get institutionalized, loser" or "et therapy" and it's always in a mocking way. it's always in a policing way.
because these people know that mental wards strip everyone of their freedom and their bodily autonomy. they know these places arent for healing--theyre for silencing.
So the amount of people i see treating bill being institutionalized like a good thing---even the writers and alex himself?
Yeah. Im out ✌🏼
#you people try to act quirky and say you like weird stuff and you like crazy people and hate normies#but then when someone isnt a normie and actually does want to change things in radical ways you want to put them in an asylum#i do not want to interact with any of you people!#i still love gravity falls (obviously) but im just... so over the fandom at this point.#even people who LIKE bill are trying to act like this is all a good thing#guess what asylums dont help :) they almost always make things worse!#so in reality if bill ever got out he would just be 100x worse and more vengeful than before! congrats.#Play stupid games get stupid prizes!#gravity falls#antipsych#i seriously dont understand why anyone things mental wards are in any way different than how they used to be a hundred yeears ago.#because they arent. at all. like literally at all.#they forcefully medicate you with pills that you dont need and that actively harm you bc random ass nurses diagnose you with#someething different every other day and ust give you a new pill for every diagnosis#i know someone who was put on antipsychs when not only do they not have a psych disorder but they had a heart condition and#nearly died bc of it. I myself was put on three different pills the very night i went in. they never#even hesitated to wait and see if i would have a bad reaection or if i reeally needed it.#bc why would they when heavily meedicating you makes you unable to think or reaelize what theyre doing is extremely unethical?#i saw multiple people held down and strapped to their beds and given sedatives for doing nothing at all. For simply asking questions.#I saw staff harass and mock and disrespect very speciifc kids (specifically the poc kids.)#I saw staff lie and try to incite fear in other kids and myself.#one of them told me the night before i was cleared for release tat if i said 'im fine' at any point they would keep me for another month.#and that if i didnt continue to take the meds (ssris) that i was overdosing on that they would come grab me in a van and bring me back#against my will.#Keep in mind i was here based off of lies. There was no real reason for me to be in that asylum.#So yeah. literally dont come on this post trying to defend asylums bc i PROMISE you i have more experience in the reality than you#ever could.#Theyre horrible and romanticising it even against a fictional villain is repulsive behavior.
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tfw you haven't been here in months(?) and you don't know how anything works anymore and who's still here
I am still in this world, by the way
#I never got around to those notifications though#I've been trying to respond to an irl friend for a month or so#it's been hard#everything's been hard#even though it's not that hard???#what's up with that?#I've been through MUCH worse#and yet just living the mundane life is somehow more difficult sometimes?#being focused on surviving means there's lots happening at every given moment#DID I JUST TRIGGER MYSELF#goddamnit just tryin' to make a shitty social media post but nooooo have to think about tRAumAAAA because god forbid ; uiRLWERLCGWEQARULCKG#3VUYDRAERCQ EH#congrats you just played yourself#oversharing on the Internet is cooooooooooool and hiiiiiiip and I'm totally doing well and totally not --- why am I even writing this#what's the point#is this like an online diary where I have to care that I worry that I might be annoying off-putting dumb-sounding and unlikeable and#the online society will reject me like my mom and my peers and myself?#anyway here's wonderwall
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i am freeeeeeeee [collapses into a pile of dust]
#the last hour went okay bc we were just playing a card game and doing gifts/cards phew#also i found out theyre celebrating my bday on... august 25th? hewwo?? they didn't tell me until now 😭😭#my sister will be back at uni in sept and my parents are leaving on a trip the first day of sept so i'll be alone again for it fsdjkl#which. mixed feelings about that. i won't have to be afraid of them interacting w me but also :'( a little sad to be home alone for it#for the third year in a row fsjdkl#OH WELL. i should just be grateful tbh fdsjkl#the one thing i'm very sad about though is i can't go upstairs anymore bc the new security system has motion detectors#last year i watched jerma on the TV up there and sat on the comfy chairs... it was so fun fdsjkl. can't do that this year though AUGH#alas!!! i will somehow make it fun anyways maybe i will just ask if i can use the oven so i can make myself a cake again this year#SORRY FOR PERSONAL POSTING SO MUCH TONIGHT BTW. its been rough this evening fsdjkl but im going to go draw now :3#dandy.cmd#vent //#ALSO CONGRATS TO ME FOR BEING RLY QUIET AND AGREEABLE AND NOT ADDING ANYTHING NEW TO CONVOS HURRAY#finally i have gone back to highschool me thank GOD i've gotten too comfortable having opinions around them since i graduated fdsjkl#being around people (in the workplace and going to a counselor) who treat you like a Real Human Person will do that! wow!#abuse cw
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my little daily treat of going to that haveyoueatenthis? account and finding out if i have ever eaten stuff. i love answering question
#and the one about bands. im playing a game of seeing if mount eerie ever pops up but not submitting him to tha account myself#kiddo say#finished my fucking essay that was trying to kill me ;w;#eevryone say congrats because i have learning disability i think and almost died from typing .#<- not really but i had no juice left for real
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BSD mutuals... save me from indulging in content of my newest hyperfixation... i want to continue this game blind but any time im not playing it i feel the innate urge to start looking at fan content for it and i KNOW i will be hella spoiled if i do that
#bsd is the only thing that can even somewhat satiate my brain#the need to look up this game....#and look at cool fanart and analysis....#but i must not#ive been playing this game completely blind and ive been enjoying it IMMENSELY#aside from the fact that i kin the protag in a way i havent kinned a character in fucking YEARS#<- saying that is basically just exposing myself#all you have to do to know how my brain works is play this game and look at the protag#and congrats! thats me!#i wish i was even slightly exaggerating
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Can I please get some friends who want to talk with me on a daily basis like fuck I'm trying
#i had an entire bottle of sake i am in trouble.#i either didn't message my neighbors back or they didn't message me bakc#am i really that reclusive#says the person who rarely ventures outside or talks to people#i just. feel doomed to failure#i drank more to feel better and now i feel worse!!#congrats. you played yourself#i thought that drunk was supposed to be some blissful state where you're not aware of anything#but i just feel fuzzy#last time i was happy drunk and now I'm sad drunk#what did i DOOO#it feels like there's people who are much worse than me who get a lot of support#sorry#the people who talk to me are keeping me alive#I'm sorry#i don't want to put pressure on anyonee#i have my famuly#i just don't understand why some people have legions of support#and others are doomed to die in the dark#i should. have stopped. at the#i dont know how. many glasses i had#why can't i at least be unaware#people portray drunks as people who don't know what's going on#i still know everything I'm just crying about it#and i feel fuzzy#and I'm not fighting the out of body experience for once#i feel like i latch on to someone until i feel I've#just#outstayed my welcome#and then i go try to distract myself
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Hm. Think I may have a problem.
#i really thought i was only gonna have like 2 or 3 horses. congrats i played myself#and yet!!! i still don't have a palomino!! my fav coat color!!!#waiting for mustangs........pls#jwhscreens#i don't wanna get any more because i would hate having to send some to the pasture. that's reserved for my starter horse only. shame box
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I would get so much more done if my to-do list didn’t include hang-up tasks like emailing people and making phone calls. Like, deep-clean one part of the apartment? Not super-fun, but okay! But it’s also not time-sensitive, and I need to do the stupid email first, so it won’t get done probably for another week.
also I need my winter boss to actually tell us what our last day of work will be because ‘until we run out of stuff to do” is so vague. Does he have stuff in mind for us to accomplish? Are we making stuff up for ourselves to do? Nobody knows, it’s a mystery. And that means that I can’t do things like schedule my lab volunteering or a doctor’s appointment until I have an actual schedule.
#personal#whining#transitioning from winter to spring jobs is the worst#sent an email to my advisor at a terrible time (Friday afternoon) last week and she's not responded#....because I sent it at a stupid time#and now I have to send a follow-up email#congrats I played myself
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The play within the play of Sissia of the Central Nation: *heavily foreshadows that Sissia and Chance's romance will have a tragic end*
Me: I'm sure I'm looking too much into it!
Sissia and Chance: *die young just as they have finally confessed their love and fulfilled their shared dream*
#story time with me#jack jeanne#jack jeanne spoilers#willow takes center stage at univeil#me at myself: congrats stupid you played yourself 😒#the way I got as invested in chance/sissia as I am in suzu/kisa#perhaps because of how tightly woven the two pairings are lol#but man.....come on.....they were in love 😭😭😭 they were happy they were fulfilling their dream#but noooooo we can't have a beautifully happy romantic ending for them!!!#like arbine...quatra...you guys couldn't hold off on breaking the wall for like five minutes????#just so chance and sissia could get down first and we can get chance to a fucking hospital????
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