#congrats your general is trans!

[theghostofashton]

.

[a-polite-melody]

hi! i'm an intersex transfem who doesn't have access to gynaecological care because of the M on my documents.

You might be! But you’re anonymous so you also might not be!

But, regardless, intersex transfems who have an M on their documents do absolutely exist.

And there also are intersex transmascs who have experiences they share with transfems in transmisogyny. This isn’t used to say that transmisogyny isn’t a real and unique problem, just because there is overlap with intersex experiences in the same way you’re trying to say that your experiences overlapping with transmasc experiences mean that transmascs don’t deserve language to describe our experiences.

And, unfortunately, there’s a lot of examples of people denying the experiences of intersex transmascs in order to try to make sure that transmisogyny is ~unique enough to transfems~, or in other words, intersex transmascs who experience transmisogyny in very similar or even the same way trans women do CANNOT EXIST or else it somehow diminishes the experiences of transfems and/or the idea of transmisogyny.

Notice I didn’t deny what potentially are your experiences (I still have no way of verifying who you are because you’re anonymous) in order to say “and so actually transmasc experiences are unique enough”.

Transmasc experiences are as unique as transfem experiences, in that we deserve language to speak on our issues, even when there is overlap—and when there is that overlap, pointing it out shouldn’t be a “how dare you not include me”, or “using that word for talking about this experience is bad”, but a “and also”, or a separate post of your own as to not derail a specific conversation. (There’s a lot of posts I see about transmisogyny that are very close to my experiences that I don’t go “don’t say transmisogyny because there’s general transphobia in that too!” on because… why? My overlapping experiences don’t mean that there wasn’t also an aspect of transmisogyny, which would be the same for transmascs and transandrophobia.)

So like. Congrats. You pointed out that the whole “uniqueness of experiences” thing doesn’t fully work for one thing, but you’re in the territory of concluding that certain experiences are more inherently unique or unable to have overlap. Oh hey, anyone remember ace discourse?

[marcelshorjian]

hi. I saw your coming out post. Big congratulations!!!!

I, bittersweetly, relate very much. I'm 23. I started suspecting I was trans around 15/16. I can generally repress it for a good long while (a couple months at a time), so the dysphoria comes in waves of "oh I can tolerate this forever, it's fine, its not that bad, they're just words/names/pronouns."

I think I am very soon reaching that point of "oh god this is inevitable, and I can't live as a woman anymore."

But I also know I have successfully bottled it back up when feeling like this before. And likely will again because I'm about to go into my first career, corporate job.

If you can even answer this... how did you get to the point where you felt ready to come out publicly?

Congrats again, truly.

Hi there! I usually don’t publicly reply to the more personal messages I get on here, but yours really struck a chord with me. Thank you so much for sending it.

I know what you’re going through. I have been stuck in similar patterns for many years. I started suspecting I was trans when I was 15, asked my closest friends to be called by a male name and pronouns when I was around 19, but only decided to transition medically and publicly this year, at 26. It takes time.

Every year I would get an intense few months of feeling like I needed to transition, but always decided against it, for the very same reasons you named. Feeling like I could survive just like this. Feeling like if I could do without it, then it wasn’t something I had to « put myself through ». That it also wasn’t something I had to put others through. I intellectualised it to the point of finding many material reasons not to do it, focused on my fears and the vulnerability it would bring, just to occlude that very simple question: what do I want?

Delaying doing it, thinking it’s fine, it’s just a discomfort, is because you’ve lived with it for so long it doesn’t register as pain anymore. But it is pain.

Why should you settle for survival? Why would stating what you want be selfish? What are you really putting others through? Some tweaks in the way they address you, maybe some confusion and questions they’d never asked themselves before, that can only broaden their understanding of human complexity. The hostility often comes from defensiveness, but it's not your problem anyway.

You don’t have to do it all at once. Hormones can be started, stopped, picked up again. The changes are gradual. You don’t have to come out to everyone right away, just a select few you trust. But you’ll see, freedom is addictive.

I got to this point after years of unease by being around my amazing trans friends, and seeing them thriving and caring for each other, and them telling me: you love us like this, so allow yourself the same grace.

[doctordeathawaits]

Transproxy tips? I'm a proxy to Slenderman (/srs I'm a pop culture pagan) and wanna feel more connected to him and use my transition as an act of devotion.

@radhell

I shall try my best , here is something similar that I have posted before that may also help . Once again , as a Jeff fictive , I'm mainly gonna be basing these tips from what I have personally seen proxies do .

TRANS - PROXY ...

Firstly - what do they do ? They maintain order around a given location , translating Slenderman's thoughts and speech , making sure nothing is in the way of Slender's orders . They work and serve Slenderman .

The man (?) tends to forcefully recruit his workers , yet I have seen some who ' enlisted ' on their own .

Before enlisting , you would be doing yourself the biggest favour by training . Start running , take up climbing and parkour , learn how to use a weapon / self defence . Already knowing those aspects will help you to not endure torturous training in the circle .

Know what you're dipping into , once you enlist , you can't leave - only death can take you out of that circle , so prepare mentally .

Know how to navigate forests , you're gonna be spending lots of time in them . Know how to use a compass , know how to quick-sketch maps , how to read the time without a clock .

Desensitize yourself to blood , you're gonna be seeing it more than normal .

Now , here's how to enlist into The Proxies ;

Make sure your devotion is known and heard - once you feel uneasy , as if someone is watch you , that's when you should do this ; .. At around midnight , on a new moon , go into the forest / woods . Take a known trail , if you see unfamiliar paths , ignore them . .. Do not bring any sort of cameras , phones , electronics . Bring a flashlight . You can use your phone flashlight - yet turn off your location / completely reset your phone . .. Keep your eyes to the ground , do not look up - if you feel / hear someone follow , do not run . Walk in a normal pace . If you feel sick , nauseous , hear ringing , have blurry vision , numbness ; do not back down , keep looking down and walking the path . .. If your flashlight starts flickering , do not freak out , keep going . If your phone starts to let out static / randomly start playing radio channels , do not freak out - you are allowed to brisk-walk . .. If your flashlight starts rapidly flickering , stop walking and close your eyes tightly . Listen around you , if you hear someone close - do not freak out , keep still . .. Once you feel a faint voice in your head - answer it out loud , answer it's questions truthfully and only truthfully . .. If you feel some sort of stinging / tingling at a specific point on your body , do not freak out , stay still ; congratulations , you were accepted . If you do not feel this , if the voice goes quiet for way too long , you shall walk backwards a little bit until you can turn around and leave the forest , you were not selected . When you have been accepted - the stinging point is generally where your identification symbol is ( The Operator Symbol ) . From what I've seen , it's in places where you can just easily flash it at someone to identify yourself - yet it can range from person to person .

So , if you became those proxy fucks , congrats buddy - from what I've seen , there is a hierarchy to proxies , the new ones don't get the dirty work , although worship has been positively received .

Hope the best for you and your journey - happy transitioning < 3

[emo-trash101]

could i request some huskerdust x transmasc reader headcanons?

Ofc! I will say I'm not perfectly versed in writing poly relationships, but I'll try my best!

Huskerdust x Transmasc! reader

Pronouns: Second person, masc intended and description

Tw: body dysmorphia (but comfort)

- So you managed to bag two supreme men, I mean congrats, they are both indeed great.

- Both honestly do not give a shit that you're trans, in like the best way.

- They both honestly just want you to be happy and live your life the best you can.

-However if you're feeling dysphoric in general, it depends on what you want.

- If you want someone who will just listen and maybe give some constructive criticism on how to feel better, then husk is your best bet.

- However, if you want comfort and affection, Angel's a much better option.

- But nonetheless, they both love you very much, and could care less about what your gender is.

This felt so much more exhausting to write, but I honestly love it so much, I hope y'all have a great day/night!

[drdemonprince]

idk if you've seen the new jessie gender vid about "transandrophobia" but it's not... awesome. youre a fellow trans dude i trust very much on this topic, so I figured i'd send it your way. https://youtu.be/oYTSxuVtR7c

it would be nice to have a succinct debunking of transandrophobia to be able to show people. ive read the autolenaphilia post, but maybe it would be cool to have something more up to date?

P.S.

congrats on the new book!

God, oof, yeah. Jessie Gender seems like a very sweet person, and she's been very open about being very sensitive to criticism and the dogpiling that she frequently experiences as a trans woman on the platform, and I don't think she should be giving so much credence to the trans men who are in her mentions complaining about trans mens' concerns being under-represented. I wish she had less of a reflexive fawn response and had the ability to tell some of her audience when she disagreed with them, because I think that's caused her a lot of stress in the past and continues to.

I really think the debunking of transandrophobia is as simple as this: androphobia isn't a thing. Misandry isn't a thing. Men are not hated or systematically excluded for being men. It's impossible for there to be an "intersection" between transphobia and misandry because misandry does not exist.

Anything that gets called transandrophobia is very transparently either transphobia, or some other prejudice such as racism or ableism, which touches the lives of many cis men as well. Trans men are not excluded from representation -- many of us have gotten massive book deals and acting roles and positions in academia in particular, and we don't get depicted as serial killers and sexual predators when we are represented the way trans women commonly are and have been for decades.

Trans women don't dominate trans spaces, and it's obvious fucking sexism to claim that they are. Trans women don't get all the resources, they just put more effort in general into creating community spaces, because women tend to do more emotional and social labor. (See also: fat men complaining that all the fat positivity spaces are made by women! MRA's complaining women didn't make a feminism just for them and men's concerns! make your own, dudes!) Trans men are men and that means most critiques of sexism are completely, obviously applicable to how they regard women, especially trans women.

I understand you want a handy authoritative text to point to here, but it already exists in the form of writing that trans women have done about the sexism they face: Whipping Girl for example being one of the most essential texts on the subject. We shouldn't need an authoritative man to say that sexism against women exists and that men need to work on our entitlement. I also think it's important that we not thoroughly argue with transandrophobia nonsense, but that we shut it down quickly and confidently as the obvious sexist bullshit that it is. This shit should get a dude laughed out of the room for being a shitty, misogynistic piss baby.

[start-where-i-end]

I blocked @/euniexenoblade but I need to put in my two cents, so here it is:

Trans men only "benefit" from the patriarchy for as long as nobody is aware that we're trans. The second anyone finds out about our AGAB, all that privilege is gone. So, for trans men who don't pass flawlessly 100% of the time, there is zero male privilege happening because society does not view us as men. Society might see us as poor misguided girls and women or as disgusting circus freaks or something, but we're generally not seen as real men and thus do not gain any of the privilege that cis men get.

I myself am a trans man with very wide hips and DD cup breasts. Binding doesn't do anything worth a damn for me, and even if it did, there's very little I can do about my figure. I do not pass, I am seen as a woman 99% of the time, and I therefore do not receive any male privilege. I also can't afford HRT or top surgery, so if your (general you) response to that is "just pass better, idiot," congrats on the internalized transphobia and classism and medicalism.

Additionally, even trans men who do pass extremely well are going to suffer under the patriarchy in the same way that cis men do. Better not have long hair, or enjoy wearing dresses and skirts, or paint your nails, or order a girly drink at the bar, or whatever other trivial bullshit is deemed too feminine for "real men." The patriarchy's main target is women, yes, but it does collateral damage to all genders - including both cis and trans men.

I still have to contend with the same things women contend with. Walking home alone, creepy DMs from entitled creeps, people assuming that my AGAB means I'm less capable - these are all still things I deal with on the daily as a trans man. They don't go away just because I'm wearing a pin with my pronouns on them. If I say to a sexist person, "Actually, I'm a trans man, not a woman," do you really think they're gonna be like "Oh I'm so sorry sir, I had no idea, I retract everything I just said/did"?

No, it doesn't work that way. I didn't magically get any male privilege when I realized I was a man. A cis man will likely still get paid more than me, will likely still get hired or promoted before me, and will likely be taken more seriously than me.

Trans men do not inherently have male privilege.

I feel like some of these people are more interested in talking about how things "should be" according to their extremely specific vision, rather than how things are in reality.

What if a trans man perfectly passes? What if the patriarchy validates gender identities? What if this, what if that? And none of what they're talking about is applicable to reality in 99% cases.

As far as I am concerned, experiencing any non normative gender can only move you down in the social hierarchy, and not up. This is true for all trans people, regardless of their assigned gender and their eventual gender identity.

[polyamorousmood]

I've recently realised that I'm trans, and gay, and polyamorous all at the same time which as I'm sure you can guess is slightly overwhelming. I have no idea how you meet other polyamorous people or start a relationship with the intention of it being a polyam relationship. I found a couple of dedicated polyam dating sites but they all seem to be more hookup and one night stand things which isn't what I'm looking for, especially since I'm asexual. How do you find partners??

Haha, congrats!🎉 full acronym speedrunner over here! 😋

The general advice, if you just ask out someone you like, is to mention it by the end of the first date (though sooner is fine). No sense wasting each other's time if they were never going to be okay with it, and then you don't have to worry about the potential for betrayal, etc. I get that it can be scary, but most people, even if they have a problem with it, will just politely decline.

Outside of that, your pickings might be a bit slim, I'ma keep it real wit you chief. If you live in a big city, there's probably some sort of meet-up you can attend. Queer🏳️‍🌈 spaces in general tend to be more aware of polyamory, if there's not something specific for non-monogamy near you. Worth checking out just for some trans community anyway.

There are several apps for poly dating, like Feeld, but I've noticed it skews toward hookups. My recommendation for you would probably actually be Hinge, which lets you sort by non-monogamy for free, and there are a lot of polyams on there! Just be clear in your profile about what you're looking for.

This is the type of thing I'd like others to weigh in on as well, if they have any recommendations!! Best of luck, you funky little polyam!

[mobliterated]

Okay me angy here I go getting riled up again! If I see any more pisscourse about ace/aro not being part of the queer community, queer is a slur, men are inherently evil monsters, I’m just gonna assume you’re a TERF. Ace discourse back in the 10’s is exactly how TERFs started their rise to power.

Start out by drawing a line in the sand that (awful) people agree with. Now there’s proof that you can start boxing in certain identities. That means (general) you can start making specific definitions for things.

Queer is now a slur again. Queer actually hasn’t been reclaimed. People agree with that. You’ve just torn down an umbrella identity that everyone was able to gather under and unite behind.

LGBTQIA+ is actually the Correct Way to talk about the queer community. Actually we need to drop QIA+ because queer is a slur, intersex isn’t a sexuality/gender and is just a weird medical condition, and A stands for allies (instead of aro/ace bc we already decided that they aren’t part of the community) and we don’t want those sick CisHets infiltrating our community.

LGBT is now the proper accepted term. That means you must be Gay Lesbian Bisexual and/or Transgender to be part of the community. If you aren’t doing LGBT correctly then you are trying to infiltrate the community and steal resources (and those resources are never defined). Only LGBT people are safe.

Oh, except bisexuals. They’re dirty cheaters bc they get to pass as straight and thus aren’t Oppressed Enough like us Pure Gays. How dare they be into men. Only Good Gays get to be into men. If a lesbian ever thought about a man in any vague romantic/sexual way then they are Impure. Men are the true evil of the world bc patriarchy. The only type of man you’ll be safe with is a gay man bc they don’t want to SA you when they see your shoulders/ankles.

All men are the root of all evil, except our good example gay men, who coincidentally are usually white and follow the good gay stereotypes, which are feminine in nature. Femininity is Good and Safe. You can trust anyone who is Feminine, and you can distrust anyone who is Masculine. Men only exist to take advantage of women. Women must be protected at all costs.

Wait. We allow transgender people in the community. That means either a Dirty Evil Man is cosplaying as a woman, or a Pure Innocent Girl got taken in by the evils of masculinity and patriarchy. Trans people are bad since they are being taken over by Evil Men, and/or trying to infiltrate the community, which we already decided is bad. Trans people aren’t Pure. The T in LGBT gets dropped.

Also if you’re nonbinary someone pulled the wool over your eyes. It’s just a phase and you’ll fall into Woman Lite soon enough. There’s no such thing as an amab nonbinary person. Men are evil, and nonbinary is Woman Lite. If you dress in any way that’s not feminine or androgynous then you are doing it wrong.

Congrats, you are now a TERF.

And before you say “that’s not what happened!” I saw every single one of these talking points come out in real time. It was slow. It wasn’t sudden. It was pushing the boundary little by little until you boiled the frog. And now with acecourse coming up again I can all but guarantee that this cycle will happen again. So! Some things to look out for and deprogram.

All men are not inherently evil. All women are not inherently good. Masculinity isn’t inherently evil. Femininity isn’t inherently good. Queer is not a slur and is an extremely useful umbrella term for those who don’t know which label they fit under, or who don’t want a specific label. Yes, queer can still be used as a slur (I have been called queer in a derogatory way) but it is one the community has reclaimed. Trans people aren’t trying to trick you. Amab nonbinary people aren’t “lesser” than afab nonbinary people. Nonbinary is not Woman Lite. There is no such thing as a morally pure sexuality. The queer community is welcome for all who identify as queer; yes, even that person. Policing and oppression olympics is not a litmus test for “pure enough” for joining the queer community. The queer community is for Everyone. That’s it. That’s all.

[yourtoradorasextendedwarranty]

I fee like you are forgetting that being trans isnt a choice. If i had the chance to not be trans and just be comfortable with my gender, i would. I really would. I would do it so my life wouldnt be in danger just by existing. I would do it so my identity doesnt become a political debate. I would do it so i could feel loved and appreciated. I would do it so i dont have to go through the hate for my body and wishing it was just a bit more androgynous and a bit more comforting. I would do it so i wouldnt be attacked. I would do it so i wouldnt need to be questioned every time i tell someone.

I am a child. My identity is not a point of political conversation. My identity is not be stereotyped, judged, sexualized, and assumed on. My identity is me being me and me enjoying myself.

But the only reason i would not want to be trans is because of my safety. I would love myself if people loved me too. I would love myself if it wasnt for politics and debate.

I just want to be me. I dont want to suffer. Im sorry if this is a rant, i just dont think i can enable any of this anymore

"I am a child"

I'm sorry then you are not trans. Fact is most people fall into one of a few categories in general.

Identifies as trans due to social pressure and trends

Identifies as trans due to trauma involving violence or sexual abuse

Identifies as trans because you have temporary dysphoria due to puberty

Identify as trans because of social pressures causing mental distress and self loathing of the body

Or in the last case you've been to a psychologist and they've gone through to make sure that none of those are it. At which point congrats your trans. As to "I wish I could change it because it's safer", that's just false. Statistically trans people are not more likely to be assaulted. However, because there being fewer trans people in the world the numbers will be cockeyed regardless. What's more, most trans people are not attacked because they are trans. They are just attacked, same as they would be otherwise. However society needs to believe everything is an attack on them so if a trans person gets harmed, it's considered "because they were trans". When often that's not even the truth.

Oh. And if you've been to a psychologist and they've affirmed you, you can not be certain you are trans. Because the process to be certain, is by eliminating all the other possibilities, assuring that the dysphoria is actually permanen. Then going through until you're 18-20, and helping you decide at that point if chemicals or surgery is the right way to go.

So no. I'm not forgetting anything. I'm just far n more knowledgeable on this topic because it almost killed my friend.

[heelycular-manslaughter]

I've been working on a ttrpg inspired by Hades and Kill 6 Billion Demons, modifying my Lumen game, Luminous Vein. It's definitely still early in the process, and I have so many projects that this one is a bit on the backburner, in part because I hate figuring out random generation and it'd feel more right to have a more official vibe to it with art & stuff. Anyway I do however think some of it is cool as hell so I put out a poll asking people what they'd like to hear about; you guys chose my problematic trans rep, who I dont have much to say about that I didn't already put in its description, so I'll just put it in full:

Hollow, Goddess of Rot

It/its, she/her, they/them

Feared among mortals to its elation, Hollow is a heavy shadow of positivity in the pantheon of gods. It loves trying to find new ways to disgust and horrify mortals, sometimes going so far as to create minor planes to trap them in and play with them. It, however, is not a real threat to anyone; her domain only ever affects those that have already died.

While plenty of wildlife loves her, human cults are rare to form, but those that do are often social outcasts, finding beauty in not just the way rot provides new life, but to death on its own merit.

Hollow is the shambling corpse of the first dead god, born in the abyss that could not be filled by anyone else. Its skin is grey and thin, tearing at the joints; its eyes have long been forgotten by physical existence; its form is too old and rotted to make out what the dead god once looked like. There's a gaping hole in the center of her neck, leaving its voice whispy, almost pained. They have a series of spindly, metal legs modeled by Eralth, the God of Craft, to support their slowly withering divine legs. Smaller beings of rot reside in the fungi and holes growing around their flesh. Hollow is extremely proud of the body they claimed, and, even as the gods respond to her presence with discomforted silence at best, they will all admit that she shows more joy than the first dead god ever did, or most other gods in the pantheon, for that matter.

Hollow loves dead things and is, therefore, happy to help runners escape hell so they can fulfill their full potential as dead things. She only shows confusion when asked for clarification.

Core Mechanic: Rot

When enemies inflicted with rot die, their bodies will remain to fight alongside you, becoming undead. Undead have the same actions made on the GM turn, but directed at enemies, and their health is based on how much rot you inflicted on them.

Boons of Hollow:

Rotting Wounds: Your weapon attacks inflict 1 rot

Trail of Death: Inflict 3 rot when you move away from an enemy

Decay: When you kill an enemy with an attack requiring 2 actions, they are given 1 rot

Spores: Your cast inflicts 2 rot to all enemies in Close range of the target.

Contagion: All undead attacks inflict 1 rot.

Self-Actualization: You can choose to target actions or casts on yourself, dealing harm but giving you any included rot effects as well.

Angry Dead: All undead deal +1 harm

Slough: Living targets inflicted with rot will take +1 harm.

Probably should've guessed the website with all the freak transgenders would vote for the freak transgender, now everything after her is gonna be a letdown. This is my best girl and also literally me so if anyone is mean to her I'll kill yo u

I'm not entirely sure how many possible boons I want the gods to have, Hades has a massive swathe of them but it turns out that can be kinda hard. I might add more mechanics to the core combat system to play with, the big issue I'll have to deal with is the randomness and the fact that the upgrades aren't weapon specific

Congrats! You read this far! or scrolled down and clicked words! You are now granted voting rights on what I should bring up next. if you want

[cxparadisi]

honestly what kills you as a seeking-/post-bottom surgery trans in the online transmasc community isn't even the open disgust people have for your body or how quick they are to spread misinformation bc mysteriously their trans sex positivity only applies to transition they personally want/are attracted to. like yeah that stuff hurts, the fact that every couple months a post about how it's TOTALLY FINE to be grossed out by my body and assuring trans guys NOBODY wants to look like me gets 10k notes sucks, but that's actually a minority of the problem. the killer is that disgust towards bottom surgery is SO normalized that, in general, people just assume that no post-op people exist in transmasc spaces, if they think about them at all. you're just left out of everything by default.

jokes? sorry, every transmasc joke assumes you have a boypussy and menstruate and the only surgery you've ever had is top surgery and if bottom surgery does crop up it's a joke about how you'd never get it. sucks to suck! fictional representation? no post-op characters exist and in fact any characters that mention their junk specify that they're non-op just in case you were worried about that. sucks to suck! fictional character headcanons? i mean, sometimes you could imagine that the shapeshifting characters might change genitals...? the medieval fantasy characters DO get top surgery scars though, so really it's just an excuse not to have to think about how gross bottom surgery is even if you acknowledge the desire to swap your junk. sucks to suck! positivity posts? nope, even ones specific to surgery don't bother to acknowledge anything below the waist. sucks to suck! discussions of transmasc sexuality? hahahahaha yeah no, those are even more inaccessible to anyone without a boycunt. sucks to suck! discourse about obstacles to transmasc transition? nope, again, that just removes the possibility that people could care about you since not mentioning you in this context means they definitely just aren't thinking about it at all. sucks to suck! discourse specifically about bottom surgery? congrats, people acknowlege you...... as a 3rd party who can't possibly be present and definitely fits into the .01 x .01 inch box they have in their heads of the Cis-Passing Binary Transsexual Male who only wants to get bottom surgery to lick cis boots, and "discourse" is kind of a misnomer because in reality what that means is "discourse about how gross it is that people think me, a trans man, might have gotten bottom surgery". sucks to suck!

naturally i need to add a million disclaimers about how i don't think transmascs who don't want bottom surgery are any less trans than i am(true) or that transmascs who don't get bottom surgery face as much transphobia as i do (so true bestie) and i'm saying this as a reflection of my own personal experiences even though i'm sure you personally have nothing against us genital-mutilators. that same grace has never once been extended to me though so i will be cranky about it.

[vincentbriggs]

I really don't mean this to be weird and I'm trans myself but I found your blog from a few posts about historical outfits/items of clothing and then the nightshirt one, then found your post talking about donating old skirts and god whiplash. I legit thought you were two different blogs for longer than a minute congratulations on the gender and thank you for being a male historical costumer on this website and general - I swear guy stuff is so hard to find?? Lol. Anyhow cheers and happy uh. January. I guess. Bye!

Thank you, and Happy January and congrats on the gender to you too!

It IS awfully hard to find historical menswear information, and ~content~ of it in general. (Obligatory link to my big 18th century menswear resources post.)

Usually when I get messages from people thinking I was two different blogs it's because they're surprised to learn I'm also @pterribledinosaurdrawings !

I haven't sewn any skirts in over a decade now, but there are some wayyy back in the archives of my blogspot blog. I started transitioning in 2016, and try to mention it occasionally so that other trans people out there can go "same hat!". It's why I made little pride flags for my pincushion, and include them in hand sewing shots in my youtube videos.

[moki-dokie]

since my post about sexuality in bes took off, i've been thinking about making one about gender because people have been even more Chronically Western about that than anything. but the topic of gender has also been talked to death about this show.

still. i've yet to see a single person touch on the actual historical aspect of gender in this period of japan. (weeaboos where ARE yall??? i cannot be the only one left here jfc)

so, more below the cut.

okay. so. before westernization and christianity came in and obliterated and sanitized the culture, there were 3 recognized genders that i know of. there was possibly a fourth but my research only got me so far on that and i gave it up a long time ago. i'm gonna be talking about the 3 i do know about.

male and female were the obvious ones. aligns exactly how you think. cock and balls = male/man, vag and tits = female/woman. yes, there were many crossdressers of both genders. yes, there were people who by today's language and understanding would be considered trans. they, however, did not have these words nor have a need for them. you were either man or woman. or...

then there was a third, which was USUALLY but not always applied to adolescent males called wakashu. the closest thing you might refer it to is androgynous. earlier in edo period it was pretty much a catch-all for any adolescent male, but much later it became far more specific to the exceptional beauty of the young male. a wakashu was a sex icon, something to be desired and lusted after, so beautiful and alluring that even the most stoic and hardened samurai warrior could break and beg for their attention. and yes, we're talking about minors. wakashu were typically in the 6-17 age range. many delayed their coming-of-age ceremony (which would then make a wakashu a man) well into their 20s. and there are records of some who continued to identify as wakashu even into adulthood. a person could decide when it was time to move from wakashu to man, it wasn't so set in stone.

this time in japan did have a lot of strictness but there was also a whole hell of a lot of fluidity that was just so extremely normal for them. choosing to remain wakashu wasn't a big deal. want to go on to be a man? cool, congrats on all your man-related responsibilities now hurry up and find a wife. want to remain wakashu? cool, congrats on all the awesome sex you're gonna be having and the many things you'll be learning. either way was a good path. you were likely to have a bit more opportunities gaining power and land going forward as a man, but as wakashu you'd be expected to be an apprentice and learn more things from your teacher (while also sexually servicing him, extra bonus - most of the time.), so both had benefits. a samurai class wakashu, for example, would very likely go on to be a man since by nature of being samurai they have tons more opportunity. but a peasant wakashu would probably be more likely to remain wakashu and learn as much as possible and earn as much money as possible (since they were often prostitutes or performers as well).

so desirable were wakashu that sometimes female prostitutes tried to disguise themselves as one to attract more clients. they were often indistinguishable from women with their colorful and intricate kimono - sometimes the hairstyle was the only giveaway. and though the japanese didn't give a shit about the gender they were fucking, as i've covered before, true wakashu enjoyed a bit more freedoms with sex than did women pretending to be wakashu. like i mentioned in my previous post how they did have specific terms for who was giving and who was receiving in sex, certain aspects played into this. wakashu were expected to receive when with men, and expected to give with women. this would of course depend a little upon caste heirarchy too but that was the general gist of it. women on the other hand were expected to always receive. (and although straps were very much a thing, you'll find the double ended dildo far more popular amongst w/w relationships - at least in depictions. in reality it was probably an equal mix.)

the concept of wakashu has not entirely left japanese culture and has actually since been divvied up into the two aspects it represented: youth (shonen) and beauty (bishonen). hence why shonen manga and anime is so popular, why there are always always always bishonen prominent in manga and anime, why yaoi often has the strict dichotomy of uke and seme. and why shotac-n remains so wildly popular while the loli opposite has gradually declined with the introduction of censorship laws. the entire concept surrounding adolescent males is still very rooted in the role that the wakashu gender played until quite recent in history. (it formally ended in the meiji era, which was not that long ago.)

now with all of that said, where does mizu fall? she's still a woman. plain and simple. had she been born in late edo, she would have absolutely been considered an extraordinarily beautiful wakashu and lusted after constantly. people would be tripping over themselves to bed her. but being early edo that was not the case and she is still a woman having to disguise as a man in order to survive so she can fulfill her goal. that must be acknowledged. that is a key point that is brought up many times within the show. to ignore that fact is to erase who mizu is. she is masking as a man because she has been told since childhood being a woman would get her killed. because she has seen it far too many times how simply existing as a woman leads to a dead end. because she tried it and it turned out exactly as she was told. being a woman is not an option in her quest for revenge. if she weren't mixed race, though? i'd bet my left hand she would have embraced the hell out of wakashu and used it to her advantage. screw sex as an art, mizu would have made it a weapon. mizu wielding both a sword and the sexuality of wakashu would make her the deadliest thing in all of japan. however, that wasn't the case and we musn't ignore what is ths case. in her world, she is a woman forced to disguise as a man. period.

mizu by today's standard's is a whole different story, though. there is enough ambiguity that she can fit nearly any label you want to slap on her and that's fine. we have a lot more leniency with modern western terms. we have a huge spectrum of gender and you can toss her just about anywhere on it. you are all correct and incorrect simultaneously because any modern terminology applied to her is automatically headcanon. and just as i emphasized on my last post, headcanons, fics, AUs, ect, are exactly where these modern western ideals belong. it's awesome that she resonates with so many different gender identities - few characters in media can pull that off so well! yall should absolutely celebrate that! use her to express your gender euphoria! but do so while remembering who she is in canon. her canon experience is not pure fiction. there are still people in today's world that must disguise themselves out of necessity and quite often that ends up being women of color. there are people in living history who had to do that to survive.

you can respect the source material and also have your own unique headcanons and perspectives. both can be true.

[boreal-sea]

And on that note, "masculinity" itself is not a privileged form of gender expression if it isn't matched to the "proper" ASAB. Masculine AFAB people in general do not gain "masculinity privilege", because that isn't a thing that exists on its own.

This plays into gender and sex conformity and how you only gain the full privilege of being cis if you confirm to the expectations of your ASAB.

Femme men? Do not have full cis privilege.

Masculine women? Do not have full cis privilege.

And as far as society is concerned, that's all trans people are: gross weirdos who aren't conforming to their assigned sex the way they should.

In this way, being masculine is part of what causes the marginalization butches, GNC women, and trans men face.

(and let's be honest here: all AFAB people get the short end of the stick no matter what we do: if we present as masculine, we're treated like shit, but if we perform femininity and are viewed as cis women, well congrats, cis women are marginalized too. It's a lose-lose situation).

[qkayoostudio]

Hi it’s me again ehe

Just wanted to say that your games are so so awesome and they make my brain just go brr, I have so much ideas in my mind i swear but—

I’m getting top surgery in two days (sept 17th aest) !!

And your characters with top surgery scars always make me say hell yeah and make me feel so good !! But all your characters are always so nice so I’m not surprised !! But I just wanted to show my appreciation and my excitement in general-

I don’t want to make this super long or anything but again, I can’t wait to see the progress with your games !! I’ll always be here to support you!💚

aww king I'm so happy for you!! that's amazing, congrats on the top surgery!! 💖💖💖

I hope everything went well today and that your recovery goes smoothly! make sure to rest as much as you need! pictured below is me casting a +10 HP spell on you:

and thank you so much for the kind words!! 🥺🥰 you're so sweet! I know what you mean; I feel the same kind of happiness when I see trans/genderqueer in other media so it's very important to me to include in my own stories.

(and this goes for anyone but I would love to hear about all those ideas you have! whether it's wanting to bite the LIs or conspiracy theories my askbox is open 💌)