#confuse the pHOBES

[raz-writes-the-thing]

how about one where the reader is a great singer, but feels shy and Crowley encourages her?

Love your work! <3

Hi my pretty,

Here's some HCs bc I have, like, 15 reqs for singing related things and I cannot possibly write them all and write them all different haha

Angel!Crowley x GN!Reader

Good Omens tag list: @coffee-and-red-lipstick @quickslvxrr @clarina04 @motionlessindoubt (send an ask to be added to a tag list!)

___ ___ ___ ___ ___

Angel!Crowley is obsessed with your singing. It genuinely makes them sad to know that you're shy about singing.

The first time they heard you singing, she was absolutely enraptured. He'd almost knocked a bookshelf over to find where the music was coming from.

If they notice you're singing, they're always deathly quiet because it's such a treat when you're feeling confident enough to sing.

Sometimes she will pull just a little miracle to put one of his favourite songs on the queue in the hopes that she might get to hear you sing even just a few lines.

When you find out that they've been doing this, you're a bit embarrassed at first, but Crowley is so genuine in her adoration for you that you forgive her with a peck on the cheek (she blushes).

"I mean, I just cannot believe Heaven would let a voice like yours go unnoticed. You could sing for the bosses if you'd like to. Such a beautiful voice, my love."

Crowley always puts music on when you go anywhere so that you have music to vibe to.

"Oh, love, please do sing that one again. It's one of my favourites."

"The acoustics in the shower are quite something, not that you need them, of course."

"My love, I could listen to your voice for eons."

[willkimurashat]

Hi! Let me guess, you read a fanfic on ao3 and didn’t like how it wasn’t exactly what you wanted and now you’re overcome with a strong desire to leave a negative comment? Well, I made this tutorial just for you! (I’m using iphone for this, but the premise is the same even if you’re accessing through your computer:)

Step 1. Open the fic (using my own as an example) - just click on the title

Step 2. You want to click on the “Comment” button, scroll all the way down, and start typing.

Step 3. Okay, now before we proceed, here’s what you want to do: (repeat a few times)

Step 4. Next, you wanna find this little button on your keyboard and start clicking it until the box is clear again (the equivalent of backspace on your computer)

Step 5. Press this button to exit the fic! Congratulations! You successfully managed your disappointment!!! Have a cookie;)

[gender-euphowrya]

when the "we can always tell" crowds tell fem trans guys they'll never be real women

[ruggedbeanieboi]

Watching Phoebe Bridgers on Ziwe :

Listening to her music:

[candy69gurl]

It's me I wanted to ask a student!Gojo x Student!reader,male x male,they are hidden in the basketball room or like changing room? were Gojo does an handjob at the reader and then when the reader cum Gojo is to worked up so he needs to fuck him?

Idk it's my first time asking yaoi so..umm thanks in advance

REALIZATION

PAIRING heart-throb Gojo Satoru x quiet shy boy (yaoi)

WARNING male x male, closet sex, dirty talks, handjob, cock rubbing, fingering, loss of virginity, anal, neck kissing, nipple play, cum on face, then some flulff and assuration (Red flag Gojo turns Green flag)

It's quite a sight, isn't it?

Everywhere he goes on campus, he's bombarded with screams, cheers, and catcalls from his adoring fans. The popularity, the attention, the admiration—he's practically swimming in it. It's a given: Gojo Satoru, the living, breathing epitome of Tokyo Metropolitan Technical College's ideal man, with his chiseled jawline, snow-white hair, and eyes as blue as the ocean on a clear summer day.

He's the golden boy of Tokyo Metropolitan Technical College, with a reputation that precedes him wherever he goes. Popular among both genders, and known to be quite the flirt, Satoru basks in the attention showered upon him by every student, acquaintance, and stranger alike. He's got a knack for getting his way, and he doesn't shy away from using his charm, wit, and skills to get what he desires.

And then there's the little matter of his romantic escapades.

Perhaps it's the thrill of the chase, or maybe just his insatiable curiosity, but one thing's for sure: Satoru never stays with a partner for long. He's the epitome of a commitment-phobe, moving from one girl to another, leaving a trail of broken hearts and bewildered faces in his wake.

It's become a running joke among his peers, the way he changes girlfriends as frequently as some people change underwears, LOL. But hey, it's all part of his charm, right?

For Satoru, variety is the spice of life, and he's determined to enjoy every flavor. He's not one to settle down with just one person, nor does he want to. In his eyes, the grass always seems greener on the other side, and he's more than eager to explore every blade.

But beneath his carefree facade and playboy lifestyle, there's a secret he's yet to reveal.

Amidst the chaos of his love life, there's a quiet, shy boy who's been nursing a secret crush on a girl—let's not say the name—for what feels like forever. She, however, has eyes only for Satoru.

But Satoru, as per usual, seems oblivious to this hidden affliction. He's too busy bask in his own world of popularity and admiration to notice the quiet boy's silent pining or the girl's unrequited love. He's a master of selective perception, focusing only on those who actively throw themselves at his feet. Little does he know, there's a hidden story unfolding right under his nose, one that could potentially shake his world.

One day, a new twist unfolds in the campus drama. A lottery determines that Satoru and the quiet, unassuming boy are to be paired up for a group project. Uproar and disappointment ripple through the halls, especially among the swooning fans who had hoped for a chance with Satoru.

The quiet boy, on the other hand, is a mix of surprise and confusion. He didn't expect to be paired with the campus heartthrob, the one his crush has been crushing on. Nonetheless, he remains silent, he does not want any drama in his life. He hopes to complete the project all by himself and add Gojo's name on it too.

Despite the disappointment all around, Satoru has another plan. He wants to befriend the quiet boy, not letting him carry the entire workload alone.

His interest in this new companion is more than just courtesy. He sees potential in the quiet, unassuming soul, and he wants to break through the shell of shyness and hesitation. He believes in teamwork, and he wants to show the quiet boy that they can make a great team together.

"Hey, buddy. No need for you to do all the hard work yourself, huh? Let's make a plan, and we'll make this project a piece of cake. So wait for me after school ends ,kay?"

The quiet boy nods uneasily, he hates to be the centre of attention, but whenever Satoru is talking to him or trying to him, everybody gives him a dirty look. Of course they are jealous, why this guy?

On hearing the news, the girl with a crush on the quiet boy rushes to him, her eyes wide with excitement and hope. "Is it true? Are you really working with Satoru?" she asks, desperation in her voice.

The quiet boy nods blushing furiously. "Please, please help me," she pleads, her eyes full of pleading. "I'll meet you outside the girls' changing room later today. I need to talk to you."

The quiet boy, his cheeks flushed pink with embarrassment, can't help but nod again avoiding eye contact.

But, as he agrees to meet his crush, he remembers the promise he made to Satoru. He recalls how Satoru told him to wait after school, but he can't shake the feeling that the busy, popular guy might forget or run late.

His heart tugs between loyalty and desire, Should I wait for Satoru first? Or should I stick to my promise with my crush? he wonders.

In the end, he chooses to wait for his crush, hoping beyond hope that his decision won't backfire.

After school, the quiet boy nervously waits at the designated spot, his heart pounding like a drum. He is earlier than usual he does not want to miss his chance with his dreamgirl. His anxiety heightens as a group of girls, the same ones who gave him dirty looks earlier, walks towards his direction. Panic surges through him, and he decides to hide near the locker room, peeking from the doorway.

As the girls pass by without incident, he breathes a sigh of relief. While the quiet boy nervously waits for his crush, Satoru is diligently keeping his word. He searches the school corridors until he spots the boy hiding near the "girls" changing room. Suspicion flares in Satoru's mind, and he approaches the mysterious rendezvous.

"Oooh, boy, what are you doing here?" Satoru teases, his voice filled with mischief. The quiet boy's heart jumps, caught in the act.

"P-please .. forgive me, I-I" he looks up to see Satoru with his cheeky smile, he lets out a sigh, "Oh.. you scared me"

"Why are you here? I told you to wait for me after school, so why you-.. Oh so are you trying to do some naughty thing here?" Gojo smirks.

"N-no.. I am n-" he is stopped by the sound of footsteps echoing and growing closer.

Just in time, Satoru pulls the boy into a small closet, the space barely fitting their bodies. They listen as the girls enter the room and the quiet boy's heart leaps as he hears the voice of his crush.

They're hidden, but the close quarters send a thrill through the boy. He can feel Satoru's warmth and hear his shallow breaths, his heart pounding in sync. This unexpected intimacy leaves the quiet boy even more flustered than before.

"It's all your fault, Satoru!" he whispers, his face burning with embarrassment, but Satoru chuckles softly, the dimple in his cheek deepening. "Hey, you were the one hiding in here first" he retorts playfully.

Then, their whispers are cut short by the familiar voice of the crush. "Oh, I hear Satoru's voice" she says, disappointment evident in her tone. Her friend pipes up, "Yeah, yeah, you always hear his voice"

The quiet boy's heart sinks as he hears his crush speaking. His only crush continues, her words leaving little to the imagination. "You don't know, I touch myself to thoughts of Satoru, I want him to fuck me, so hard and fast..." She trails off, adding more explicit details.

Satoru's laughter vibrates against the boy's back, his grip tightening ever so slightly. "What a down bad person" he murmurs, his voice low and teasing. The boy feels heat spreading across his face, both from the words and the situation.

Despite the embarrassment, the quiet boy can't deny the effect his crush's words have on him. His body responds, betraying him as he gets hard, brushing against Satoru's hand in the cramped space.

Satoru's laughter dies down, replaced by a low hum of appreciation. "Well, well, someone seems to be enjoying her horny imagination" he says, his voice a seductive rumble. The boy freezes, not sure how to react to this new turn of events. "Tell me do you have a crush on her" he teases.

Satoru does not know why but his hands move without warning, wrapping around the boy's suddenly hardened cock. It's a bold move, and the quiet boy is shocked. He's never even masturbated before, so he quickly covers his mouth to stifle any noise.

This unexpected touch startles and excites him, his breath hitching. Satoru's hands are warm and skilled, moving in a rhythm that sends shivers down the boy's spine. Despite the unusual situation, the quiet boy can't help but lean into the touch.

Satoru continues to tease the boy, his voice thick with amusement. "Imagining fucking her, huh? You're already leaking" he mocks, his fingers slipping beneath the boy's waistband with ease.

The quiet boy's breath hitches as Satoru's warm fingers brush against his most intimate place, his cheeks burning. He never imagined this would happen, but there's no denying the sensation is electrifying. He can't help but wonder how it would feel to be touched like this by his crush. His mind races with thoughts of what could be, his body responding to the taboo experience.

Satoru's fingers glide against him, and the boy bites down hard on his lip to suppress a moan. "But.. she can't make you feel the same way I do" he whispers into his ear, his voice husky and full of promise.

The boy's heart races, his breaths coming faster. He's never experienced anything like this before. He lets out a small moan, tears coming out of his as he is reaching his peak.

Satoru grips his cock tightly helping him to reach his best orgasm, but the boy lets out a loud whimper,

Outside the closet, the girls start whispering, discussing the sound they just heard. "Did you hear that?" his crush asks nervously, concern creeping into her tone.

Satoru reacts instinctively, pressing his lips against the boy's to muffle any further noise.

Their lips touch, soft yet firm, as Satoru continues to pump the boy to completion. The quiet boy's mind fills with a jumble of emotions - shock, arousal, and gratitude. He could taste the sweetness of Satoru's mouth, the connection sending sparks through him.

In this moment, the boy forgets about his all-ever wished girl, lost in the unexpected intimacy with Satoru. The pressure builds within him, the release imminent.

Satoru's kiss is brief, but potent. His lips move swiftly, breaking away just in time to allow the boy to let out a muffled gasp as he reaches his climax. Sweat drips down the quiet boy's forehead, his legs trembling as he comes.

As the aftershocks subside, Satoru pulls away, as the boy catches his breath, he hears his crush's friend snicker. "You're even hearing Satoru moaning, huh?" She teases, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

Satoru pulls away, adjusting his clothes, a satisfied smirk playing on his lips. He turns to the quiet boy, his eyes filled with a mix of mischief and warmth. "Did you like it?" he asks, a challenge in his voice.

The guy says nothing, he is too busy in getting over with the effects of the orgams. It's his first time after all.

Satoru listens carefully, hearing the footsteps fade. So he swings the door open, only for the poor boy to lose his balance and fall to the floor.

The quiet boy lies on the floor, his face flushed and sweaty, a testament to the intense experience they just shared. He's a sight to behold, tempting and vulnerable. His limp cock, covered in cum and nestled between his legs, is a clear sign of what just happened.

Satoru swallows hard, his erection straining against his pants at the sight before him. This feeling is unfamiliar, overwhelming. He's never felt this way for anyone, especially not for a boy. The thought that he could be attracted to a guy is foreign, yet undeniable.

Unable to hold back, Satoru unzips himself, his cock springing free. He approaches the boy, his heart pounding in his chest. He kneels before him, captivated by the sight of his cum-covered cock.

Slowly, he takes the boy's soft, sticky member into his hand, his own throbbing erection brushing against it. Satoru can't explain what's happening, but he feels an irresistible urge to claim this boy...

The quiet boy looks up at him, his eyes wide and filled with confusion and desire. He doesn't understand what's happening, but there's no denying the pull between them.

"What are you doing?!" he says in surprise, as Gojo keeps stroking himself against him.

"I want to fuck you" he confesses, his voice hoarse. The boy's eyes widen, shock etching across his features. "Are you crazy? I'm not gay!" he protests.

Satoru meets his gaze, his own eyes filled with sincerity. "Neither am I" he admits, his voice shaking slightly. "But I've never felt like this before. Please, I'll make you feel good."

The quiet boy takes a moment to process Satoru's words. He's never been with a guy before, let alone someone as confident and experienced as Satoru. But there's something in those blue eyes that makes him hesitate, something undeniably earnest.

He swallows hard, glancing down at their hard cocks. "I... I don't know" he murmurs, uncertainty creeping into his voice. "I... I'm not sure if I'm ready for this."

"Let me prepare you" Satoru says softly, his voice steady despite the nervousness echoing through the room. He pulls the boy closer, their bodies brushing intimately.

With gentle deftness, Satoru helps the quiet boy remove the rest of his pants, revealing his enticing ass. He can't help but swallow hard, desire coursing through him.

Reaching out, Satoru lubes his finger with his saliva and gently inserts a finger into the boy's tight entrance. The quiet boy gasps, his body tensing. He winces, the sensation foreign and unexpectedly pleasurable. He lets out a faint whimper, his dick hardening despite the confusion swirling in his mind. This sensation is new, foreign, yet undeniably good.

Satoru adds another finger, his movements slow and deliberate. The boy's eyes flutter shut, his body trembling under Satoru's touch. He's never felt like this before, overwhelmed by emotions and sensations.

"It's okay" Satoru whispers, his voice a soothing balm. "Just trust me."

He adds another finger, his touch steady and reassuring. The quiet boy takes deep breaths, trying to process the barrage of sensations assaulting him. His cock pulses in his hand, hard and eager.

"Feels good, doesn't it?" Satoru asks, his voice laced with quiet triumph. "I promise, I'll make this good for you."

The quiet boy nods, his face flushed and breathless. Despite the confusion, he can't deny the pleasure coursing through him. Satoru's fingers inside him feel strange, yet exhilarating.

"Feels... strange," he admits, his voice barely above a whisper. "But...."

Satoru smiles, his fingers never pausing. He can feel the boy's body slowly relaxing, yielding to his touch. "Just relax, alright? You're doing great."

With a gentle tug, Satoru removes his fingers, the quiet boy's body protesting the loss. But before he can register what's happening, Satoru positions himself between his legs.

Their eyes meet, filled with anticipation and apprehension. With a slow, measured thrust, Satoru enters the boy, his cock sliding smoothly into his tight heat. The quiet boy gasps, his eyes widening in surprise.

Satoru's movements are slow and gentle, his thrusts deliberate. With every stroke, the quiet boy feels a rush of pleasurable sensations. He's never been with a guy before, let alone someone as skilled as Satoru.

"How does it feel?" Satoru asks, his voice husky. The quiet boy bites his lip, his heart pounding. "Unlike anything I've ever felt" he admits, his voice soft.

Satoru nods, his movements slow and gentle. His hands reach up, wrapping around the boy's cock. He strokes it in time with his thrusts, their bodies moving together in perfect harmony.

"Mghh~" the boy moans, his face reddening in heat. He can't believe he's enjoying this, enjoying Satoru's touch. His entire body trembling under the dual stimulation. The sensations are overwhelming, a perfect blend of pleasure and vulnerability.

Embarrassment floods him, his face flushing bright red. He covers his face with a hand, hiding his reaction from Satoru.

Satoru chuckles softly, his thrusts growing more forceful. "You're so beautiful, you know that?" he murmurs, his voice thick with lust.

Satoru trails kisses down the quiet boy's neck, his tongue tracing delicate paths. With his other hand, he reaches inside the boy's shirt, his fingers brushing over his nipple. The boy jolts, a sharp gasp escaping him.

Unable to control his response, he cums, his walls tightening around Satoru's cock.

Satoru groans, his thrusts growing frantic. The quiet boy's reaction fuels his own desire, sending sparks of desire through him.

"Fuck" he breathes out, his voice rough. He slows his thrusts, letting the quiet boy ride out his orgasm. The boy's cum spills over his hand, the sight sending a shiver down Satoru's spine.

His grip on the boy's nipple tightens, his thumb rubbing it in a circular motion. The boy arches, his body trembling under Satoru's touch. "You feel so good" Satoru whispers, his voice thick with desire. "So tight, so warm" he groans, his hips bucking involuntarily. "I can't... I can't take it anymore."

He picks up the pace, thrusting harder and faster. The quiet boy's eyes widen, his body arching with each thrust. His skin glistens with sweat, the room filled with the sounds of their passion.

With a final thrust, Satoru pulls out, the quiet boy gasping for air. His body trembles, still reeling from the intensity of their encounter.

Satoru grips the back of the boy's head, guiding it towards his cock. The quiet boy hesitates, but then closes his eyes, bracing himself. Satoru's release pulses onto his face, hot and sticky. He opens his eyes, a look of surprise crossing his features. Satoru watches, his breath hitched, the boy's face painted with his cum.

Satoru kisses the quiet boy's forehead, gentle and tender. "Your crush wants me, but I want you" he confesses, his voice low. "And don't worry, I'll make our thing public. What do you say? Will you be mine?"

The boy's face is still red, his eyes wide. He thinks for a moment, hesitating. "But what if people—" Satoru cuts him off, placing a finger on his lips. "I don't care about people" Satoru interjects, his voice firm, "I only want you." He looks into the boy's eyes, filled with sincerity and desire. "I want everyone to know you're mine. I want everyone to see what we share, to see how special you are to me."

The boy swallows, his confusion evident. "You really mean that?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Satoru smiles, his eyes shining.

"More than you'll ever know" he promises, his hand cupping the boy's cheek. His heart swells, feeling a sense of pride and joy. This boy, so quiet and innocent, has captured his heart in a way no one else has.

"We'll make it work, alright?" he continues, his gaze steady. "We'll face the world together, hand in hand. I'll protect you, I'll cherish you, and I'll love you until the end of time."

The next day, the quiet boy and Satoru walk through the halls, hand in hand. The sight catches everyone off guard, from girls to boys, jaws dropping in shock. The boy's ex-crush, caught off guard, stares in disbelief.

Satoru doesn't miss a beat. He looks around, his voice ringing with confidence. "Yes, he is my boyfriend" he announces, his tone leaving no room for doubt.

The whispers start, a ripple of shock spreading through the school. Satoru feels the eyes on them, but he doesn't let it bother him. He's made his choice, and he's not backing down.

"Don't worry" he tells the quiet boy, squeezing his hand reassuringly. "They'll get used to it. They'll see that we're happy, that we belong together."

The quiet boy looks up at him, a mix of fear and hope in his eyes. "What if they don't?" he asks, his voice low. Satoru chuckles, a small, reassuring smile playing on his lips. "They'll have to" he replies with a confident smirk. "I'm not the type of person you cross, remember?"

The quiet boy swallows, his heart racing. "But what if they... make fun of us?" he asks, his voice barely above a whisper. Satoru leans in, whispering in his ear.

"We'll show them what we have," Satoru repeats, his voice low and firm. "We'll be stronger together than any rumor or gossip. We'll prove to them that love knows no bounds, that our connection is real and powerful."

The quiet boy takes a deep breath, his grip on Satoru's hand tightening. "Okay," he says, his voice barely audible. "I trust you, Gojo."

Satoru smiles, his heart swelling with warmth. "That's my good boy" he kisses the top of the boy's head, while everyone watches them from confusion to awe.

Tagging @rabbidbunwy @sweetchildcloud

[nov4-rocket5]

Okay, so a lot of people are saying that Joon The King deadnames and deliberately used unflattering photos of Lily Orchard in his latest video.

The latter is pretty subjective, all the photos were of Lily post-coming out that she posted herself (and she really hasn’t changed much since posting them either); and the former claim is just… blatantly incorrect.

Joon clarifies Lily used to go by a different name once, and he says this because a lot of the archived footage and chats come from Lily pre-transition, and didn’t want the audience to get confused. He uses Lily's preferred name and pronouns the entire video, even when chats he's reading are of Lily's previous identity.

Keeping archival information unaltered is super important, both for the sake of Lily’s timeline, and the validity of Joon’s research. You start changing details out of a sense of 'respect' and you open up the question of what else you’re willing to change and censor. Maintaining the integrity and trust in your research is vital for communicating points. Especially when those points involve very heinous, very sensitive topics. If Joon had edited/censored the footage and chats, people would have searched for, found, and posted it anyway. It also would have probably led to Lily just claiming Joon falsified/doctored shots to make her look bad.

Joon isn't a DramaTuber, he's a documenter. And as a documenter, Joon presents information, in this case about Lily's online history and actions, and leaves it to the viewer to decide what to make of it. Joon doesn't moral police his audience, he set up that she is Lily and only chose to highlight her previous identity when it was relevant as a side fact (Joon doesn't even call her a cis male, just that she was still presenting that way), and trusted the audience he’s cultivated to not bully and harass people.

Current footage is used of Lily, current names and pronouns are used for Lily, and he makes it clear that Blake is a person who doesn't believe Lily's really trans but makes a brief counterpoint to Blake’s stance, and leaves it to the audience to make their own conclusions. Joon’s video is purely informational and intends to inform people about Lily and her long pattern of established behavior even before her current channel and Tumblr.

Joon encouraged discussion with Lily's current name and identity intelligently and gracefully. Knowing Lily’s deadname is just that - a name Lily was once known as, but she is Lily now. Since most people aren't rioting in the comments and keeping a level-head saying "she's Lily, these are her terrible crimes not just as a trans woman", Joon was successful. Only idiots and douchebags will directly harrass Lily with "hurr durr you will never be a yadda yadda". And Lily will no doubt just make those strawmen herself. Lily routinely thrives off chances to use her status as a trans woman “of color” to prove all her critics are just mean ol’ racist phobes.

And the simple truth of the matter is, Lily isn't some delicate ornament that will shatter to pieces at the slightest bit of transphobia; Lily is an easily-angered, pathological liar and manipulator who would hurt anyone in any way if she sincerely believed she could get away with it.

[laurenairay]

I'm still haunted by the memories - S. Crosby

Summary: Maeva thought five years was long enough to get over Sidney breaking her heart. Apparently not.

Words: 5.5k

This is my fic for @senditcolton​’s birthday bingo! I chose the bingo squares ‘wedding season’, ‘It was always you’, ‘free space – argument scene’, ‘second chance romance’, and ‘interrupted kiss’. I haven’t written a full fic for Sid in ages, so I really hope you like this!

Warnings: angst, past break up scene, exes to (potential) lovers

Title: Little do you know, by Alex & Sierra

~

“What am I to you?”

“What?” Sidney asked, confused.

“What am I to you? What do I mean to you?”

“What’s going on, Maeva?” he asked, frowning.

“Can you just answer my question please?”

Sidney frowned even more at the sharpness of her voice. “You’re my girlfriend. I love you. What’s going on?”

“You love me?”

“Yes! Mae, seriously…”

She could tell he was getting frustrated now, but that didn’t settle the gnawing feeling in her stomach.

“We’ve been together five years now. I love you more than I thought could’ve ever loved anyone. Five years of cheering you on no matter what. Five years of supporting you and the team and all the better halves as they’ve come and gone. Five years of always coming second but putting on a smile because I know hockey is your whole world. But I thought I would’ve at least had a part of it?”

“I don’t understand what you mean. Of course you’re part of my world,” Sidney said, confused.

Was he really going to be that cruel, to pretend he didn’t know what she meant?

“At the team get together this weekend, when we celebrated the latest Pens rookie getting engaged, someone joked to you about when you were going to put a ring on my finger too. But you just snorted and changed the subject…”

She trailed off, watching Sidney’s face pale a little bit, his reaction sinking like a stone in her stomach.

“I don’t…where did you hear that?”

“I was right behind you, Sid. I was right there and Kris & Cath saw me but you didn’t. They sent me pitying smiles and I hated it, Sid. Why don’t you want a life with me?” Maeva asked, her voice finally cracking as tears threatened to spill.

“We already have a life together. Why do we need to complicate it?”

“Complicate it? You think marriage is just a complication?” she shot back.

“I just don’t see why we need to put a label on things. We’ve got a good thing going,” Sidney huffed.

“Labels? Are you kidding me? I’m nearly 30, Sid, and all I have to show for the thing I’ve poured my heart into for five years is a couple of photos on your cup days? You won’t take me out in public, you don’t talk about me to anyone outside of your team and your immediate family, you can clearly drop me at any moment…are you ashamed of our relationship? Have I been wasting my time?”

“Damn it Mae, I’m not ashamed! I thought you understood that I like my privacy!”

That’s all he took out of it?

“I know you value it, Sid, but I didn’t think it would get to this point. I didn’t think you would go this far. I’m tired of being an afterthought to you!”

“And I’m tired of you being so insecure!”

Her breath hitched in her throat as a pang of hurt rang through her chest, and she could see a flash of regret immediately pass over Sidney’s face.

“Maeva…”

“I’m done. I can’t do this anymore, Sid. There is nothing wrong with wanting to feel appreciated and there is nothing wrong with wanting to know that I have a future to look forward to. Because apparently I don’t. Who knew that Sidney Crosby was such a commitment-phobe?”

~

Maeva glanced out of the airplane window, hazy memories passing through her mind as the plane started its decent into Halifax airport. It didn’t seem like it had been five years since her life with Sidney had fallen apart, almost as long as their just-over-five-years relationship. But the memories of that awful night still burned her heart like a hot poker. She may have left him that night, may have returned to Canada, but she hadn’t been able to move back to Nova Scotia. She’d tried, sure, but she’d only lasted a few months before the memories of their time there together was too much to bear too. It had felt right to flee to the other side of Canada, all the way to Vancouver where she was able to secure an apartment and a job where no-one knew who she was. Maeva had only visited her parents a few times in the five years since – and only when she knew he absolutely wouldn’t be there.

Everything had just hurt too much. It still did.

But now, for the first time in as long as she could remember, she was heading back to Cole Harbour in the summer. Her cousin Natasha was getting married, and her aunt had begged Maeva to come home to join her parents in attending. If it wasn’t for the fact that she and Natasha had grown up as close as sisters, Maeva would’ve found an excuse somehow – but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. All she had to do was survive the long weekend. It was late Thursday evening that she’d flown over, leaving Friday for wedding errands, Saturday for the pre-wedding celebrations, and Sunday for the wedding day itself - both ceremony and reception. She’d managed to book a flight home at midday on Monday, but she knew that this weekend was going to be a test of her strength.

Maeva had done so well to protect her heart for so long, and she didn’t want a few days back in Cole Harbour to ruin it.

It didn’t take long for her to pick up her suitcase and head to the arrivals area, a small smile crossing her lips at the sight of her dad waiting for her. Maeva could happily admit that she was a daddy’s girl, through and through, the two of them having the only blonde hair in the family, his quiet calm aura always making her feel happy and secure. That was one of the only things she regretted about not toughing it out in Cole Harbour – she didn’t get to spend the time with her dad that he deserved.

She made a mental note not to take that for granted this weekend.

“My little Maeva,” he said gruffly, warmth seeping into every word as he hugged her tightly.

“It’s good to see you. I’m…I’m sorry it’s been so long,” she murmured when they eventually separated.

“Oh don’t you worry about that. I’m just glad you’re home for the wedding. Lord knows I need a little more sanity in the house.”

Maeva just snickered, looping her arm through her dad’s as they started to walk out to the parking lot. “Mom’s succumbed to wedding fever then?”

“Happily skipped into crazy town, more like it,” he grinned, “I don’t think I can survive another day of folding bits of paper into little birds to decorate the tables.”

Maeva just grimaced, making her dad laugh. That sounded like her idea of nightmare chaos. “Any chance we can avoid most of the wedding prep tomorrow?”

Her dad just smiled indulgently. “Oh I’m sure I can figure something out.”

She really had missed him.

~

Just as her dad had promised, he managed to get the two of them out of the intense wedding preparations that the family were taking part in on Friday. The two of them went out for a long breakfast in the morning, before her mom could bundle her into the car and over to her aunt’s, and after a slow walk by the waterside, telling him all about her life in Vancouver and her small circle of friends and her low-key retail managerial career, they eventually made their way back to the house. Her mom was annoyed with them both, Maeva knew that much, but she couldn’t stay mad at Maeva for long, not really when she knew exactly why her only daughter never came home – and Maeva made up for it by ironing her dad’s shirt for the wedding and steaming his suit, her mom’s dress, and her own dress, while her father shined his shoes to her mom’s satisfaction.

There would be enough time to apologise to her cousin on Saturday during the welcome lunch up at Hatfield Farm, where 30 close family and friends would be staying overnight ahead of the wedding on Sunday (with the same 30 staying on the Sunday night). Thankfully the venue was only a 40 minute drive from her family home in Cole Harbour, so she would have plenty of time to make her flight back to Vancouver on the Monday.

She just had to get through the weekend first. One step at a time.

Saturday morning was as chaotic as Maeva thought it would be. Her mom had the three of them loading up her dad’s car like a military operation, checklist on clipboard included, to make sure that nothing was left behind, especially as their part of the family was in charge of the table centrepieces and fairy lights for decorating the reception hall. Once all of that, and their wedding outfits (and shoes and accessories) were ready, along with their overnight bags, it was coming close to midday, and with a picnic basket full of snacks and drinks for the little cabin that the three of them would be staying in, they hit the road.

Despite everything, it made Maeva smile as she recognised the other cars on their journey, all of them making their way to Hatfield Farm like a miniature invasion. The curse of a small town.

It didn’t take long to sort out the accommodation keys, and once Maeva had hung up her dress for the wedding (at her mom’s request to reduce wrinkles), she sprayed a little perfume and fluffed up her blonde hair before rejoining her parents.

“Ready to face the circus?” her dad grinned.

“Honestly,” her mom tutted, elbowing him.

But even she gave Maeva a worried glance.

“I’ll be fine. Cole Harbour may be a small town, but it’s not like Sidney can pop up everywhere,” Maeva said, trying to convince herself as much as them. “It’ll be good to celebrate Natasha’s happy day.”

“Atta girl,” her dad said gruffly.

Her mom just nodded, threading her fingers through her dad’s to silently lead them across the grounds to the main reception hall, where the welcome lunch was being held. They weren’t the last people there, not by any means, but they definitely weren’t the first. Maeva could see her cousin walking towards them with a big smile on her face, dressed in a gorgeous peach dress and looking radiant with happiness, and that joy was infectious.

Until Maeva glanced across the other side of the room, that is.

The sound of her breath catching in her throat was enough to make her parents look in the same direction, and her unflappable dad scowled in a way she’d never seen before.

“What is he doing here?” her dad asked lowly, lips pursing as he turned back to look at her cousin.

Natasha glanced over and cursed under her breath. “Sid wasn’t meant to be arriving until later. I was meant to have enough time to give you a warning, Maeva. Carl invited him but wasn’t sure if he could make it – they’ve been friends since they were kids.”

“Curse of a small town,” she murmured, her smile shaky.

She glanced back at him, thankful that he hadn’t noticed her looking yet, her heart racing in a way that made her feel sick as she took him in. Sidney looked good, of course he did. Broad shoulders, giant ass, and thick thighs filling out his suit so perfectly, hair dusted with grey in a way that only made him look distinguished. He was standing sideways, talking with Nate (of course Nate was here too) and a couple of other guys from their hometown, and as he laughed, head thrown back, the sound of his ridiculous honking giggle made her want to cry.

She wasn’t ready. How could she think she was ready?

Her mom subtly took her hand in hers, squeezing gently to reassure her, only making her dad curse under his breath again.

“Hey, you’re my cousin. If him being here is going to ruin your weekend, I can kick him out. I don’t care if his name is on the town sign – you are family,” Natasha said firmly, voice still quiet.

Tears stung at her eyes slightly at her cousin’s care, but she shook her head. No, no she had to face being in Cole Harbour at the same time as him at some point. She wasn’t going to let him ruin things, not this time. “It’s been five years. I’ll survive.”

Natasha just frowned, taking Maeva’s free hand in her own.

“You just say the word and he’s gone, okay? I haven’t had a chance to be bridezilla yet,” she said, grinning sharply.

Maeva laughed a little wetly, shaking her head again, squeezing Natasha’s hand and her mom’s to say thank you silently.

“Everything will be fine. There will be enough people here that you can just avoid him!” her mom said, smiling.

Maeva didn’t need to look at her dad as he huffed to know that just wouldn’t happen. But still, she had to believe it was possible or she wasn’t even going to make it through today. She could avoid him as much as possible – there was only so much her heart could handle.

“Drinks?” Natasha suggested.

“Hell yes,” Maeva sighed.

Drinks, then setting up the reception hall with the fairy lights, and bringing in all of the table centrepieces ready for the venue staff to set up in the morning. Then maybe some more drinks. She could handle that.

When she eventually went to sleep close to midnight, her heart was aching in the worst way – Maeva hadn’t expected to actually be able to avoid Sidney, but she also hadn’t expected to feel his eyes trailing her around the room for the entire day.

And she was dreading tomorrow even more, now that she knew he would be there.

~

Breakfast in the morning was a communal affair. The wedding ceremony wasn’t until 2pm, and the staff at Hatfield Farm were putting on a breakfast spread for all the guests from 7-9am, so Maeva was making good use of it, knowing she wouldn’t eat for hours after this. Her dress was a flowy one thankfully, so she didn’t have to worry about carb bloating – it was one of the reasons she’d chosen it, along with the fact at it was light and airy enough for the warm weather and a gorgeous shimmery gold colour that complimented her wonderfully. And it didn’t conflict with the beautiful lilac and cream wedding colours either, which was a bonus.

Her parents had already eaten and headed back to the accommodation, leaving Maeva to finish her orange juice in peace. Still, being back in Cole Harbour after all this time, surrounded by people that she’d left behind in her efforts to leave him behind…it was almost too much, and she found herself stepping outside for some air to clear her head.

One more day.

She could make it one more day.

But the moment that she heard footsteps walking over to her, she knew her luck had run out.

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to be able to get you alone.”

Hello to you too, Sidney.

“Why would you even want to?” Maeva said, voice cold and polite as she turned to face him.

Sidney just winced. “Mae, come on, you know why.”

Oh screw him. Shortening her name like he used to, playing with her emotions like that? No.

“No, Sidney, I don’t know why,” she said shortly, “We broke up five years ago, almost as long ago as the whole length of our relationship was – so what could you possibly have to say to me?”

“Please don’t be like this. I’m trying to apologise,” he said, frowning.

“Apologise for what, exactly?” she asked, folding her arms over her chest.

Sidney just huffed out a frustrated breath, putting his coffee mug down on a nearby table.

“Maeva, I’m serious. I’m trying to be the bigger person here and-”

“Are you kidding me? The bigger person? Our relationship ended because you couldn’t commit, Sidney, and you’re talking about being the bigger person like I’ve done something wrong?” she said angrily,

The nerve. What the hell.

“If you would just listen to me…”

“Listen to what? What could you possibly have to say to me?” she spat, cutting him off again.

“If you’d stop interrupting me then I could actually say it!” he shot back, shades away from shouting.

“Uh, guys?”

Maeva looked sharply to the left, seeing Nate standing there awkwardly looking like he’d rather be anywhere else.

“What, Nate?” Sidney said shortly, cheeks flushed.

“Uh, your mom is looking for you, Maeva,” he explained, grimacing.

“Thanks. We were done here anyway,” Maeva said coldly.

“No we…”

But she just stormed away, not letting Sidney finish, ignoring the hissed conversation between the two men, trying desperately to keep her composure until she was alone. Just as Nate said, her mom was glancing around, and the moment that she spotted her, her face fell.

“Let’s get back to the rooms to get ready, yes?” her mom said, pasting a smile on her face.

It was all Maeva could do to nod, letting her mom usher her along, the fire in her chest from their building argument fizzling away into an all-consuming black hole of sadness. Why would he confront her like that? Why would he want to unsettle her like that after all these years? She would never have thought of him as cruel, but this…this was the last thing she needed. Those few minutes were everything she’d been trying to avoid, and the wedding hadn’t even officially start yet – how was she going to make it through the rest of the day?

The moment that their cabin door was shut behind them, her mom whirled around to face her.

“Maeva, sweetie, what happened?”

She opened her mouth to explain, but all that she managed to do was start crying, tears streaming down her cheeks. Her mom let out an uncharacteristic curse, cradling her in her arms, only making Maeva sob harder. This is why she never came home. This is exactly why.

She didn’t know how long it took for her to calm down, for her sobbing and tears to fade to sniffles, and she was just glad that her mom hadn’t changed into her wedding outfit yet.

“Give me the word and I will get laxatives put in his drinks. I know people,” her mom said seriously.

Maeva choked out a laugh, smiling shakily at her mom’s attempt to cheer her up, but shook her head.

“It was stupid. Just stupid. I wish he wasn’t here but I’m not going to give him the satisfaction of leaving,” Maeva said sadly.

“You’re a braver woman than I am,” her mom said, huffing out a laugh.

“Nah, I get it from you, eh?”

Her mom just smiled shakily, giving her another quick hug before pulling back to rest her hands on her shoulders.

“Let’s get ready for this wedding. Have a shower and then I’ll help you with your hair,” her mom said firmly.

Maeva just smiled, nodding her head, heading towards her room as she heard the shower stopping. By the time she’d gathered her towels and underwear, her dad was back in the room he shared with her mom, leaving her to shower quickly. Leaving her with her swirling thoughts.

Even though minutes ago her blood was boiling with his audacity, her heart still ached for him. Up close the grey in his hair looked even better than she’d thought, the slight laughter lines around his eyes only adding to his appeal. His voice was a smooth as she remembered, his figure just as broad and overwhelming compared to her slight frame as it always had been. Even his intensity, his emotion, was exactly as she remembered, sending shivers down her spine.

She missed him.

And she hated it as much as she loved it.

She loved him. Even as much as she wished she didn’t.

It didn’t take her long to do her make up and put on her dress, and she blow-dried her hair to the point where it was manageable by the time her mom knocked on her bedroom door.

“Oh sweetie, you look beautiful,” her mom said, voice earnest and sweet.

Maeva just grinned back at her, twirling on the spot to watch her golden dress flare in the mirror.

Her mom laughed, rolling her eyes fondly as she guided Maeva to sit down on the end of the bed. She expertly twisted half of her hair up into an elegant bun, fixing it in place with a couple of bobby pins and a ribbon that matched the gold of her dress, leaving the rest of her hair to flow down her back in blonde waves. It was simple but refined, and she felt pretty the moment she looked in the mirror.

“Thanks mom. Let’s do this thing.”

“That’s my girl.”

~

The wedding was beautiful. Maeva didn’t know what else she expected though, if she was being honest. Natasha looked ethereal as she glided down the aisle, her fiancé crying a little when he saw her, and the two of them didn’t stop smiling at each other the whole ceremony. Maeva kept her eyes on them the whole time, even though she could feel eyes on her throughout the hour – she knew exactly who they belonged to, but she just couldn’t. She couldn’t, not at a wedding she knew she would never have.

All the guests moved into the reception hall, sitting at their assigned tables, Maeva sitting between her parents with each of them holding one of her hands like they didn’t want her to disappear. She could only imagine what her mom her told her dad about her breakdown this morning, but that was the last thing she wanted to think about right now. All through the wedding speeches Maeva sipped on her champagne, laughing at the appropriate moments, tearing up at her uncle’s heartfelt words, cheering the toasts to the new bride and groom. She could barely remember what she ate when the food came and went, but she dutifully ate under the watchful eye of her mom, making small talk with the other members of their table, answering politely to questions about her life in Vancouver, 6000km feeling even further away than ever before.

By the time the additional guests joined them all for the evening reception, Maeva was well on her way to being overwhelmed, but she joined the circle of people on the dancefloor to watch Natasha and her new husband in their first dance.

Just as the music started, a familiar figure stepped up next to her. Maeva froze, desperately trying to think of how to make a subtle exit, but Sidney gently pressed a flute of champagne into her hand.

“This is an apology drink,” he murmured. “I should never have lost my temper with you this morning.”

Not here. Not now.

She didn’t know what her face was showing as she glanced up at him but Sidney’s face just looked sad.

“Can we talk after their first dance finishes? Please?” he begged softly.

There was something in his voice that made her façade crack.

“Fine.”

She didn’t dare take her eyes off of Natasha and her husband for the rest of the dance, sipping the champagne flute, waiting until people started joining them on the dancefloor to slip away, Sidney subtly following her. Just off the side of the venue was a small courtyard, separated from the rest of the outside space by a trellis of flowers, just enough to give them a semblance of privacy.

Maeva put down the glass as Sidney joined her, wrapping her arms around herself partly as a guard, partly as comfort, her ex-boyfriend standing in front of her looking just as overwhelming as he always had.

“Thank you for agreeing to talk to me,” he started, smiling a little.

“What did you want to talk about, Sid?” she sighed.

“I messed up all those years ago,” he murmured.

No, no she couldn’t do this.

“Sidney I can’t,” she interrupted, shaking her head.

“Please, please just let me finish,” he begged.

She just bit her bottom lip, glancing away from him briefly to steel herself, before nodding.

“I have spent five years trying to think about what I would say if I ever got the chance to see you again. Five years playing the conversation over and over again in my head, going through every scenario, and right now in this moment, none of it is coming to my head,” he said softly.

That was so typically Sid.

“Forget what’s in your head. What’s in your heart?” she found herself saying.

He huffed out a laugh, nodding his head.

“I love you, Maeva,” he said, tears glistening in his eyes.

Oh.

Oh.

Oh god this was the last thing she’d been expecting.

He still loved her?

“Do you love me too? Is there any chance that you still love me?” he asked desperately.

He still loved her?

Running on pure instinct, Maeva choked out a sob as she leaned up and kissed him, hands clutching at his shirt.

Of course she still loved him.

Sidney didn’t hesitate as he kissed her slowly back, cradling her face with both hands, pouring everything into the embrace. Maeva’s head swirled as her blood surged and her heart raced…and then a couple of wedding guests stumbled outside too, clearly drunk. They were mostly giggling and falling into themselves, so they didn’t notice Sidney and Maeva springing apart, and as they stumbled around the corner Sidney quickly took one of Maeva’s hands in his, breaking her out of her frozen state of shock.

“You still love me?” Sidney asked hopefully.

“That was so stupid. I shouldn’t have…we shouldn’t have…”

His face fell.

“Please don’t run away. Please don’t leave me, not again,” Sidney begged, interrupting her rambling words.

She couldn’t do this. She couldn’t do this.

“We can’t just go back to how things were, Sid,” Maeva said sadly, “We’re different people now, we’ve both changed.”

“Then let me get to know you again. And you can get to know me,” Sidney said desperately, “We still love each other – isn’t that enough?”

Maeva’s face must’ve looked as incredulous as she felt, because he squeezed her hand a little tighter, eyes burning with intensity. She remembered that look. It still had the same effect on her, knowing that Sidney was leading up to something heart achingly earnest.

“You are right, I’ve changed – I’m not the same man I was before. I made the biggest mistake of my life taking you for granted, letting you go when I should’ve fought for us, and I regretted it the moment I realised you’d truly left. My stupid pride kept me from reaching out to you in the first few weeks, and when I got over myself, it was too late.”

“Sidney…” she murmured.

“No-one would tell me where you went. Your parents wouldn’t talk to me, or to my mom. Your friends blocked my number. All Taylor could find out was that you were in Cole Harbor for a few months before you left for good and that you’ve barely been back since. I searched for you, for any sign of you, wherever I went and it still wasn’t enough. I wasn’t enough.”

“Sidney,” she repeated, tears stinging her eyes.

“I am so sorry, Mae. I love you. I always have – it was always you. It was always going to be you, and I’ve spent five years regretting every single moment of that stupid fight and everything I did leading up to it. As selfish as it is, I can only hope that no-one else has your heart. Can you ever forgive me?”

Maeva swallowed heavily, letting go of his hand to run shaky fingers through her hair in an effort to compose herself. This was everything she’d ever dreamed of hearing from him and it was also everything she’d dreaded. She’d spent so long in therapy building up her walls, repairing her heart, learning how to heal herself and protect herself from falling into this kind of heartbreak again.

But she loved him.

She loved him so deeply that she didn’t know how she could ever stop. Sidney Crosby was so intrinsically part of her that she knew that, being honest with herself, she didn’t know what a life without him looked like. It was one of the main things she still talked about with her therapist, her inability to accept anyone new into her heart, and she knew deep down that no-one would ever replace him, not truly.

But was she ready to just fall back into his arms.

“I don’t know if I can,” she said softly, and wow wasn’t the devastated look on his face heartbreaking? “I want to, Sid, but I have spent years trying to move on from you and I don’t think I can handle going through what we did again.”

Sidney let out a shaky breath, smiling sadly as his eyes shined with tears. “The last thing I want is to hurt you. I just…I want to show you that I’ve changed. I want to show you all of the love that I should’ve shown you five years ago. You deserve that much. You should have someone love you in every single way that you absolutely deserve.”

“Sidney…” was all she could murmur again.

Maybe it was her lack of refusal, or the softness in her voice, but Sidney took one of her hands again, squeezing it gently.

“I know that we have separate lives now. I know that you have created something wonderful for yourself without me. But all I’m asking for is a chance to start over,” he said softly.

“But how would that work with you in Pittsburgh and me in Vancouver?”

“You’re a Canucks fan now?” he grimaced.

Of course that was his priority. Still, she found herself choking out a laugh, shaking her head as Sidney flushed a little with shame. “I haven’t watched hockey since I left Pittsburgh. Vancouver was just the furthest I could get away and still be in Canada.”

The look that passed over his face was a curious mix of sadness, regret, and frustration, before it settled into the determination she’d known for years.

“Can I call you?”

“What?” she asked, frowning.

“Can I call you?” he repeated. “I’m still not on social media, other than whatever the team makes us do. I’m getting better at texting. Emails are so-so. But I would love to talk to you, to hear your voice. I miss you, so much.”

How did he know exactly what to say to make her heart cry out?

“Sidney, come on,” she pleaded, trying to ignore the lump rising in her throat.

But he didn’t back down.

“Tell me no, Maeva. Tell me no, and I will walk away. You know I’m not that guy – no means no, and if you mean it then I will never bother you again,” he said seriously.

“You know I can’t,” she murmured.

Sidney just let out a shaky breath, squeezing her hand again as a smile hopeful smile crept across his lips.

“So let me call you. We can start with baby steps. I know you have a life in Vancouver now…but I just want to be part of it. I wasted five years of my life without you because I was an idiot who didn’t appreciate the incredible woman I had – all I want is another chance. Do you love me?”

He really was devastating, wasn’t he?

“Do you love me?” he repeated, running his thumb over her knuckles.

“I do love you. I don’t think I know how to stop,” she said, feeling like an idiot but smiling anyway.

Sidney just smiled like he couldn’t believe his luck, and slowly lifted her hand to his lips, kissing her knuckles gently, keeping his gaze locked on hers.

“I love you, Maeva,” he murmured.

He kissed her hand again before gently lowering it back down to their sides, so much emotion in his face that Maeva didn’t know what else she could possibly do.

“You can call me. I’m making no promises, but you can call me,” she said softly.

The smile that spread across his face made her heart soar for the first time in years.

~

Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep? Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories? Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece? Little do you know I need a little more time?

Oh wait, just wait, I love you like I've never felt the pain, Just wait, I love you like I've never been afraid, Just wait, our love is here, is here to stay, So lay your head on me.

[sunlightmurdock]

telling Jake that you’re going to make him a Daddy when you’re riding him makes breeding kink go brrrr

the sound that I just made woooooooo boy. Okay let’s talk (under cut as is prettyyyyy nsfw)

So Jake’s a commitment-phobe. It’s well known. His haircuts, his clothes, his girlfriends — they all switch up eventually because lack of change makes him itchy.

Until, the idea of you starts creeping into his dreams. Ten, twenty years from now. Smile lines and aged skin. Bigger houses and little feet.

You’ve heard the warnings, that it’s just not who he is, that you need to be prepared for the inevitable heartbreak. But you see the change happening, metamorphosis right before your eyes.

A while after he proposes, you catch him lingering, hands on the shopping cart, staring at a teeny-tiny, newborn sized romper with little sunshines on it. Again after that — staring at the baby rattles at the zoo. Again, watching kids playing at the beach.

Phoenix gives you the heads up that he’s staring at another woman once. She’s confused when your lips quirk slightly after following his gaze, noticing her round and pregnant stomach, and the toddler that she’s already cuddling. Wiping mess from dirty, chubby cheeks.

Jake’s always so tidy. Everyone jokes that there’s no way he’d be able to handle kids.

He likes his life the way it is, taking you anywhere he wants and walking around naked. But you can’t pretend that you don’t notice the way his hands skim over your middle during sex, like he’s waiting for something to be there.

So, when you’re riding him that night, bouncing up and down on his cock, soaked in the warm light from his beside lamp — you look for the signs. He’s later telling you than normal. He’s already twitching inside of you when he finally mumbles, “Shit, darlin’ — gonna make me cum.”

His brows knit together, faint confusion as your lips quirk up into a soft smirk.

“I know,” You grind your hips down in a circle and he throws his head back into the Egyptian cotton. Material that’s too expensive to keep around when you’ve got kids to mess up the place. Another thing that he’s more than ready to let go of. “Want you to fill me up Jake, baby.”

His lips part slightly, fingers curling harshly into your hips, panting. It’s a whining sound, something desperate. You lean down, chest pressing into his, grinding back and forth on his length.

You kiss his stubbled jaw first, then the corner of his mouth, finally his lips. He groans into your mouth, grip tightening on the curve of your thighs.

“Gonna make you a daddy,” You tell him sweetly, confidently. Jake blinks at you, eyes big and green — oh, so surprised — trying to figure out when the hell it was that you became a mind reader. Sitting back upright, your hands rest against his toned, taut stomach as you fuck yourself onto him. “Can’t wait to be so full of you. Can’t wait to give you everything.”

Jake whimpers softly, digging his heels into the mattress, “Christ. Please.”

[thatfilthyanimal]

I have a lot of feelings about every nice thing Will Ferrell's been doing for trans people lately in a sea of misunderstanding and hate. It's appreciated. <3 Phobes want so bad to make a large majority think we're gross pedos or whatever but the truth is most people are confused about the concept at worst but generally don't give a shit what we do because they're not weirdos equating our existence to some vile unrelated shit.

[sagefurry]

so me and two friends were deciding what monster hunter monsters would post on facebook

Rathalos: posts "I hate my wife" memes everyday and tries to recapture his lost glory, because he still thinks he runs the architectural company he made with his wife and is very self-centered about the fact he's still technically the face of the company, even though he chose to not go on with the times when his wife did, leading to him not helping the company at all nowadays and everyone just tolerating him so they can enjoy his wife's presence (and her flips)

Rathian: posts about her architectural achievements and is the kind of person that posts live laugh love posts unironically. nobody really knows why she still tolerates Rathalos, but she really thinks she can fix him and that there's something beautiful inside him that if she just tries, she can get through to his good parts. thinks all the "I hate my wife" memes are just jokes. really fun at parties

Zinogre: posts about going to the gym and pictures of him flexing everyday, is super into cars because he can power his electric cars by himself. he's also very big into entomology. will go on rants about the "cars" movies if you let him because he hates how unrealistic it is

Gammoth: doesn't post anything on her own facebook page and doesn't check what any of her friends are doing on it but but runs the lesbian monster community page

Tigrex: posts conservative far-right propaganda and the wildest conspiracy theories youve ever heard, and is also every type of -phobe you can think of. posts pictures of him that have sunglasses and really big jeeps badly photoshopped onto them

Mizutsune: posts almost exclusively about anything gay pride related and uses his page as a curated gay art gallery. dunks on tigrex's posts whenever he can. takes pictures of himself while hes taking a bubble bath and reposts bath bomb videos.

Glavenus: was an edgelord sword-lover when he was a kid and posted about swords and skulls and motorcycles n shit. he took a break from social media in his teens to become an apprentice blacksmith. now middle-aged and is an accomplished blacksmith that posts about his craft whenever he can. still also posts about swords a lot.

Astalos: uses his personal facebook page for curating like a music gallery for music he likes, of any genre. hes a beginner guitar player that posts himself playing a lot. hes not very good but hes trying goddammit. also runs a music sharing community page.

Seregios: uses his page exclusively to provoke people and to post inflammatory stuff. especially likes getting a rise out of rathalos and tigrex, and also astalos because all you have to say to astalos to get him angry is tell him his taste in music sucks

Yian Garuga: self-proclaimed "metrosexual". posts dick pics and gym selfies of himself that no one wants to see except nargacuga. gasses up nargacuga's posts and sees it like a "bro thing" when he does it. he's very confused sexually and everyone knows that except him

Nargacuga: the resident gamer. posts videos of him playing video games extremely well and also posts pictures of himself in thigh highs and has a very e-girl kinda energy. very openly flirts with yian garuga under his posts but yian garuga doesnt get it

The Greats and the Dromes: all of them exclusively post in an nsfw community where all they do is share nsfw around. they use facebook for nothing else

Zamtrios: is a very successful mukbang and asmr creator. at the end of every mukbang hes inflated and he uses his inflated state to make asmr videos with the sounds coming from it. this was very weird to type out

Deviljho: dentist that reposts his tiktoks about dental health on his facebook page. his videos give out a very sinister and uncomfortable vibe even though he just sincerely wants to help people with their dental health. he also wants their teeth but he tries to fight that urge

Diablos: ex-trucker with anger issues that has a very thick southern american accent and got fired after wasting millions of dollars in company assets and causing one of the worst pile-ups in history. posts mainly about trucks, guns, and pretending he still has a job. surprisingly not as right-wing as you might think. probably has a grindr

Gold Rathian and Silver Rathalos: its them after couples therapy. they run their architectural facebook page together now after rathalos got over his inferiority complex. youd think him being silver and her being gold wouldve made his inferiority complex worse but the story about it is that he chose silver so rathian could get gold and thats his way of saying he wants his wife to be in the spotlight willingly this time

Ahtal-Ka: shes just a very sweet tailor that posts about her sewing and knitting projects to her facebook page and posts tutorials for stuff. big fan of kaiju movies and also bionicles, and she posts about her custom bionicles a lot too

Lagiacrus: has a huge catalog of fish she's fished up and streams herself fishing every day. has multiple world records in fishing achievements

Teostra, Amatsu, and Bazelgeuse: all of them use their facebook pages for furthering their political agendas for becoming president. teostra is far-right, amatsu is like centrist left, and bazelgeuse is the communist party

Seltas and Seltas Queen: seltas queen is a dommy mommy that posts bdsm videos with like 30 different seltas on a regular basis. the seltas dont actually do anything related to the account but they get paid to be there so theyre technically part of it

Valstrax: facebook comedian. has incredible comedic timing. is Jerma985 (bullfango-kelbi hybrid mix)

Nakarkos: really fucking old dude that talks about war history too much and posts videos of like american wars talking about how "kids nowadays with their darn phones that arent dying for our country"

Brachydios: owner of a very prolific demolition company who films buildings going down for clout on facebook. pays his employees surprisingly well. definitely got into legal trouble for demolishing non-condemned buildings before

Chameleos: runs one of those life hack content farms that post incredibly unhelpful, possibly untrue, sometimes dangerous life hacks for clout. no one actually knows he runs the account though. he definitely does it just because he thinks its funny

Nerscylla: really old lady that doesnt know how to use electronics and types her google searches into facebook and reposts videos of plants while saying something like "These are so wonderful!" to everything she sees that she likes

Shagaru Magala: christian parent thats a megachurch pastor and a televangelist. posts nothing but bible verses on her account and tells you that youre going to hell every single day of their life. gave her kid religious trauma

Gore Magala: depressed zoomer that listens to hyperpop and breakcore and lives off of monster energy and weed. got fucked up from shagaru constantly telling them that if they dont grow up right theyre gonna end up a chaotic gore and that has stuck with them for the rest of their life. just posts a lot of self-deprecating humor and vaguely worrying memes.

Kushala Daora: oppenheimer/amatsu's biggest fan. self proclaimed "centrist political analyst" that just so happens to agree with like every dictator and warmonger in history. will go out of their way to argue under the posts of like anyone thats left-leaning. loves seeing other people in pain.

Malfestio: blue-collar office worker that has no dreams in its life. posts like hypnosis videos on facebook that like are actually super popular but he doesnt feel like he can make a living off of it so he hasn't even tried yet

Duramboros: the activist. goes out and protests like every good cause out there. posts about charities and parades that are going on around. grows vegetables on its back to feed homeless people

[stuck-in-2012]

Theres nothing wrong with you, its true, its true

“Hey, have you seen...” Peter trailed off as he looked around the room searching for the one missing face among his team.

“I thought they were with you?” Ava asked, watching Sam’s face slowly contort in worry, hand reaching out to his helmet, ready to zip away in a blur of blue light.

“Yeah… they were. I’m here for…” Peter pointed at Sam.

All eyes turned to Nova as he stood slowly, nerves getting the better of him. Something was wrong. Not ‘time to dive over the tricarrier and make a dash before they hit the ground below’ level wrong, but Webs’ brows were knit and he came looking for Sam specifically. That only happened when a special kind of TLC was needed. “Where?” Sam’s terse voice came out like a demand as he put his helmet on.

“The usual”. Peter hadn’t gotten three syllables before Sam was gone down the hall.

“So what happened?” Ava asked as Spidey sat down.

“Fell into the wrong corner of the internet.” At Danny’s confused look Peter went on. “ ‘Phobes, “that doesn’t exist”, just crummy people being crummy people.”

Iron First nodded and frowned at the hall sympathetically.

 Nova stopped outside the locked door. “Babe? It’s Sammy, can I…” He paused, not so much waiting for a response but listening for… The door panel light changed to green indicating it was open from the inside. As Nova opened the door, light flooded the room. …’sign 1: sitting in the dark’. “Oh, honey…”

He took his helmet off and sat nearly flush on the bed. Sam held his arms open slightly. Not a demand, just an offer. A welcome one at that, tangled hair got pressed into the side of his face as he was pulled close. Sam could admit he wasn’t the best at comforting and worse at offering affirmation but thankfully he was dating someone that gave really good preemptive instructions for how to help and what to do when/if they get like… this.

“Mm?” Sam prompted, nuzzling.

“Mm-mm.” Well, alright then… ‘sign 2: not having emotional energy to communicate verbally’.

“Do you…” before Sam could offer things he knew they liked they started to cry. “Yay, there you go I gotchu…”

“It… it sucks!” they clutched onto the gold straps of his suit as shaky breaths turned into earnest sobs. “Just, sucks.”

Gentle pets and tight hugs, helped the tension ease and the tears flow. Letting it out always was the best thing for them. Sam took a deep breath -one they mimicked trying to calm down. “No, no no, let it out, gumball, let it out”- hearing them sob like this was always contagious, making his eyes water. Sam reached for their phone, their ears must be ringing like sirens in the silence... ah, yup. A familiar icon; four houses: three blank, one with colorful stripes.

<<   ►   >>

<<    ||   >>

As the emotional chords and lyrics filled the small space as did more tears and sobs. Sam held the shaking body close as the song looped again and again. When the first yawn broke through he knew they’d feel better soon. They tugged at the strap they still held getting Nova’s attention. When he looked down they pressed the tips of their fingers to their chin and pulled a flat hand away from their face.

“Don’t thank me, baby. You don’t have to thank me. I love you, I’ll always be here when the world sucks.” That got a little giggle, before the sobs came back and they latched on like a vice. A few tears slipped down his own face. He couldn’t help it, as much as he’d like to be a calm and collected comfort watching the dysphoria hit always broke his heart to see.

“Ooh! Hol’ on a sec.” They let go and scrubbed their face as their boyfriend searched through their regular day bag. “Ah ha!” he sat down just as they tossed away a soiled tissue. “Bam. Passport and driver’s license are next.” Sam set a small card in their hand. They looked at the piece of plastic and smiled before clutching it to their chest. Their S.H.I.E.L.D. I.D. was the only official document they had that had the correct name on it. It was useless everywhere else but still made them happy to have.

“I love you, Sammy.”

“I love you, too, handsome.”

A pause. “Promise?”

“Yeah. The real you.” His statement accentuated by running his fingers over the bump of each scar on their chest. “We can talk to Connors about bottom and T. tomorrow if you feel like it then?”

They nodded and presses kisses to his shoulder as they pulled him to sit in their lap, tangling themselves together snug. More tears flowed, again and again as they curled tight. After what felt like could be an hour a knock tapped at the door. They nodded into the boy clutched in their arms prompting Sam to hold them tighter and turn to the door, “It’s open.”

The team peered in with matching sorrowful expressions. Sam may be the one actively in a relationship but all five of the team had grown to need the young agent. Danny held out bottle. Sam looked down. “Do you think you could try and drink some water, love?”

They sniffled and sat up eagerly, nodding and pulling stray hairs off their wet face. Danny smiled at their immediate interest in hydration. Sam pressed a kiss to their temple after they swiftly downed 3/5 of the liquid. When they yawned for the n’th time Ava ushered the others to leave and let the couple be.

“Mm!”

“What’s up?” Peter asked from the doorway.

They pointed to Sam, then to the team, then snuggled back into their boyfriend. Surly they weren’t asking for Sam to leave (they didn’t do it like that). At Peter’s confused face Sam spoke to his partner loud enough for the others to hear the message being translated to them, “they’ll grab me if Nova’s needed.”

“Nah, dude stay, we go-” Sam cut Luke off with a shake of his head and continued quieter, “they’ll spiral if they think they’re keeping me from something.” The taller boy nodded as the four heroes bid the two goodnight and closed the door.

“Think you could sleep?”

The start of a nod before a shrug.

“Wanna try?”

Soft nodding.

“Okay,” Sam sighed as he spoke and laid down. He felt the familiar weight and warmth as they curled around him and pressed a few gentle kisses to the back of his neck.

[dragonagehumor]

Not sure if you ship Dorian and The Iron Bull from DA:I but have a small scene I thought of for them. Though I feel that you could sub your Inky in if you wanted too.

So not sure if it's a line from a song but I think so. "I'm better as a memory than as your man." Well The Iron Bull says that line to Dorian at some point when the realness of their relationship scares him.

Dorian yells at him. "And why does everyone else always get to decide what's right for me. You will be just like all the others who decided they wanted to be respected so kept me a secret then left me behind with only memories to comfort me. Go ahead The Iron Bull and leave like all the rest of the Tevinter cowards."(yes the tevinter remark is just there as a bard to Bull and not me being confused).

Ironic he says that because he is the one who leaves. Swiftly walks to his private room. The library is now tainted with this new memory.

Bull has to search to find Dorian because he avoids the library. The Iron Bull then proceeds to apologize and admit that he was just scared of how much he feels for Dorian. They hug and/or smooch and/or more.

Random Idea I had at 1 am and wanted to see what others thought of it. So any opinions?

*Asks are sent for fun, no pressure to answer.

Had to look that one up, and you’re correct, it is a line from a Kenny Chesney song song titled “Better As a Memory”.

That kind of fear can be substituted for any other person. Some people are afraid that if they fully commit, they’ll get hurt. And with Bull, he’s had an interesting life, and maybe he thinks he would drag Dorian down somehow if he committed. And Dorian isn’t willing to stick around if it’s going to hurt.

It could be the Inquisitor easily in this scenario. I read a lot of romance books, and it sounds like a typical third act type scene in quite a few of them featuring committment-phobes!

[fionaswhvre]

I've seen a lot of people call Eddie ooc this season and while I appreciate everyone's opinions, here are my reasons about why it isn't true:

• Lighter version: First of all, Ryan Guzman already said in interviews that we're gonna see a lighter Eddie this season, because this is the first time we're seeing him without any trauma. So obviously he's gonna look and act different.. this is just a version we haven't seen before and we've got an explanation why.

•7×04: People saying this episode was very OOC of Eddie to not pay attention to Buck's needs- it was confirmed by Tim that the entire episode was in Buck's POV so he was seeing things that weren't there.

That being said, even if the episode wasn't from Buck's POV, I don't think it is very wrong of Eddie to make a new friend and for once, may not be in tune with Buck's every need. This is the first time we've seen him this chippy and relaxed and he is someone who's known for always taking care of others instead of himself. So maybe if for once he cannot see if his very much adult friend is jealous of his other adult friendship, that's not on him.

Also, it was established by the end that Eddie was feeling bad for making Buck feel left out, which is a very in character thing for him. He was the one who felt bad for missing out on how Buck was feeling.

• 7×05: There were a lot of weird things going on with Eddie this episode, I will admit. First was his asking Marisol to move in with him, when we haven't even seen them exchange words before this.

First, this very issue was addressed by Bobby. He said that he doesn't think Eddie seems to be in love enough with her for them to be living together. Now, Eddie would be considered OOC if he was acting this way and everyone in the show thought this was normal. But, when people in the universe are addressing that he's acting differently, then that means it is a deliberate writer's choice to show us that. They're voicing the audience through their characters.

We have never seen Eddie talk about sex this much before, but that could make sense if he's overcompensating for something. And given how much comphet his conversation with Bobby indicated, I do think that his sudden interest in sex can count as an overcompensation.

I know people wanted to see jealous Eddie when Buck told him about Tommy, but in that moment it wouldn't make sense for him to show any negative emotion when Buck was being so vulnerable. In a classic Eddie Diaz fashion, whatever he was feeling, he hid it well or is not ready to accept it himself, and he only wanted to be as supportive of Buck as he could.

The only thing throwing me off is how he said that he tends to move too fast. But in the same episode he said he could be a commitment phobe. So I think Eddie is himself confused about what he's feeling rn and Tim has said that he will be questioning these things soon.

[firsttarotreader]

Mami, you should do a reading on if he would hide a partner. Pls? 😶

Hello! I believe I did one on something of sorts, but I asked it again and obviously considering all genders. I also didn’t consider hookups or flings or casual dating, but a steady serious partner. The first pull was the 9 of Wands, 10 of Cups and 9 of Swords.

So, 9 of Wands means he might find it really hard to hide a partner, like a very difficult task he wouldn’t even know if he could pull it off. Because of the 10 of Cups, the joy, happiness, satisfaction, that man gets really obvious when he’s with someone (and in love) and he will ooze that vibe. He won’t want to hide it. 9 of Swords means he would get lots of anxiety about it, if he was going to hide anything.

The second pull was the Page of Wands reversed, Queen of Coins and The Empress. Page of Wands reversed is a commitment-phobe, but he also represents someone who is lost, not knowing which direction to go, he struggles to make things progress, he drops projects, he gets confused, aimless, which makes me think that’s how he would deal with an attempt to hide a partner, it would be kind of ineffective and messy. This card could also be pointing to the commitment-phobe he said he is to become the Queen of Coins. He would know how to handle it with his career and public life because he would be confident, generous, caring, but also very practical and down to Earth. The Empress is nurturing and care and expression. She’s creative and she likes quality time with her people.

In all honesty, he could even try but from these cards, he would probably fail at hiding because it would just SHOW. He’s too expressive and he can’t hide his joy.

I will put this one in the #confirmed readings tag because this matches what he said about not being able to keep a secret or not having secrets and not behaving a certain way because of any social rules, but this one is just #semi confirmed.

From the Buzzfeed 42 Questions:

He said he can’t keep secrets in this Actors on Actors with Ewan McGregor from 2021:

Don’t ask me where exactly it is, not gonna look for it again. 😄

[ow-my-zock-and-zalls]

Why do phobes make such a big deal out of children potentially being confused about the existence of queer people? Improper fractions are probably confusing too but yall don't see them trying to shield their children from the dangers of math homework.

[shadow-unique]

🐜INTRO🍵

Tw: mention of homophobia, pedophilia, zoophilia, and swearing

Hello this is my intro 😄

I'm still getting used to Tumblr since I was too lazy to use it back then and usually just look at art

Anyway let's start with the DNI list:

���MAPS (pedophiles) and maps supporters

•Proshippers (both new meaning and old meaning; I don't want you guys here idc if y'all are anti harassment just please leave me alone) and neutrals

•DARKSHIPPERS

•Some comshippers (I'm fine with most like I'm fine with monster x human ships, I'm mostly fine with lightships)

•Profics/Pro-fiction

•Radqueers

•Anti selfship

•Anti oc x canon

•Lolicon/Shotacons

•Zoophiles

•Anyone under the age of 13

•Homophobes/Transphobes (any phobes against LGBT)

•Anti furries

•Anti therians

•Anti Xenogender and Xenopronouns

•People who hate on mental disabilities

•Anti Neopronouns

•People who hate on everything

•Anti rarepairs

•Anti poly

•IRL yandere

•RCTA

•Anti aro/acespec

•People who romanticize/sexualize/justify: zoophilia, incest, abuse, and pedophilia

•Harmful paraphiles (non-contacts depends I'm still pretty uncomfortable with you I'm sorry)

•Ableists

•Racists

•Sexist

•People who are problematic or supports people who are problematic

If you are any one of these please block and leave me alone! But you can still look at my work just don't interact or make a video or post about it

I probably forgot some but I'll add it once I remember

Anyway...

⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟⭐🌟

×My name is Unique (not my actual name of course)

×You can also call me Yun

×I'm a minor

×I'm an Anti 🐜🍵

×I'm Agender/non-binary (still questioning) genderfluid and Cupioromantic and ace (also maybe recipromantic or demiaroace)

×My pronouns are she/they/any (I'm mostly used to she/her and might get confused when you used the other pronouns but I'm fine with any as long as it isn't it/it's or offensive like a slur or something like arsonself (no hate towards people who use those) I'm just not comfortable with them but I don't wanna type and find every neo/xenos that I like and type it because I might like another one and I like it when people are very creative with it)

×I'm Filipino 🇵🇭 (UY PHILIPPINES!)

×I make oc art and lore

How do you change the color? I want it to be colorful ☹️

×I have arachnophobia

×Im not great at art or drawing but I try my best

×I may have maladaptive daydreaming but I'm not sure since I'm undiagnosed and I don't like self diagnosing

×Im forgetful

×Im not great socially

×I may sometimes sound rude but it's not always my intention

×my favorite colors are pastels but mostly pink, yellow,blue, purple, gold and black