#confessions time: never watched naruto bro :(

[moontidemints]

Narotmf looks like mothertrucker, but may i offer, it looks like your calling someone a naruto motherfucker, kinnie derogatory, which i also think is hilarious as all the turtles naruto run

GASP! I HAD THE SAME THOUGHTS BUT COULDN'T WORDS IT RIGHT!

Imagine at the @tmntseparatedaucompetition I just narotmf 'd with nartomf and ran around the excavation site. I mean I am literally not doing the point of the dig site anyway, so I think I am in the clear.

Who knows? Maybe I can make a cult of naruto running turtles too.

[sneezemonster15]

I don't ship SS, and I haven't seen Naruto in 2 years so maybe that's why my understanding isn't the best. Could you explain what Sakura meant to Sasuke in their genin days and how he could simply break his bond with Sakura just with "Thank you". Bro didn't even give her a farewell and he didn't even turn to her during her "heartfelt confession". Obviously he cared for her as a comrade before and saw her like family like he did with the rest of Team 7, but then their bond was broken with just two words.

Hmm. Maybe that's it anon. Give the manga a read. Or just watch the canon episodes again. It will jog your memory, and you will find out Sasuke never thought of Sakura as family. He said that he started to see the shadow of his family in team seven at the very end, but it was in regard to Naruto, right after vote 2. Because it was Naruto that reminded him of his bonds with his family. Not once did he say Sakura's name in particular, but he said Naruto's. Elaborately.

As for the bond that was broken with two words, it was because he never felt close to her, and so that made it easy for him to break 'bonds' with her. Find it here, and some more supporting material, here, here and here. At best, he thought of her as a comrade.

And this scene came after he protected Naruto from a transformed Gaara's attacks. Sakura was actually saved by Naruto when Gaara captured Sakura. While a half dead Sasuke was willing being Naruto's landing pad to protect him from the evil tree trunk.

Sasuke only saw Naruto as his family. Like he said in chapter 698.

Regardless, after Itachi's visit in part one, Sasuke got a, what he thought of as a reality check, and so after that, it was easy for Sasuke to break off his bonds with Sakura and Kakashi without any effort. But when it came to Naruto, it took him the entire vote one and over 8 chapters.

It makes complete sense. I don't know why fans think Sasuke had such a 'bond' with Sakura. Maybe because of filler episodes. But he never had. Starting with their introduction in chapter three, Sakura ends up offending Sasuke about a matter which is very close to Sasuke's heart, family, after which she proceeds to mock Naruto's orphanhood. In front of another orphan. This is the first scene where they are shown to interact, and it sets a dysfunctional impression of Sasuke and Sakura's dynamic, as a result of Sakura's insensitivity and vain entitlement.

Their next interaction isn't much better either. Sasuke tries to get along with Sakura but Sakura still makes it about herself and acts self absorbed and unambitious. And Sasuke's reaction makes it clear how he feels about it.

He admonishes Sakura when she keeps pestering him with requests for a date, and admonishes her to pay attention to her training and not useless frivolities.

The rest of part one is where he tries to get along with her but keeps her at a distance still. They hardly had any significant interaction in land of waves arc. In forest of death arc, it was mostly about Sasuke and Naruto, and even then, Sasuke again admonishes her to pay attention. In the Chunin exams arc, Sasuke is basically gone after his battle with Dosu, and only comes back during the finals. What interaction we see between Sasuke and Sakura is where she tries to hug Sasuke or touch Sasuke, and Sasuke telling her to lay off most of the time. He gets triggered in forest of death arc, when he is under the effect of the curse mark which makes him more aggressive, which is when he hurts Zaku. But otherwise, where do we actually see them have a good moment? There's only one. Where Sasuke gives her confidence to participate in the chunnin exams. Just one.

Like even a cursory watch gives the impression that Sasuke is just not close to Sakura.

Even when he is leaving Konoha, Sakura herself admits this.

He doesn't say anything to her, keeps quiet around her, never even says a single word. What kind of 'bond' does this look like? She thinks no matter what, he always hates her.

He doesn't hate her, that is too strong an emotion for what he feels for her. He is at best tolerant towards her and at worst, apathetic. Many times, pure contemptuous because of her insensitivity and immaturity. Sasuke is a smart boy, a kind boy at heart, which is why he tries to be tolerant towards her, no matter how insensitive, self absorbed, unambitious, frivolous, fangirly and entitled she is. He gets her impulses and motivations, which is why he keeps calling her annoying and tells her when leaving Konoha, that he knew she wouldn't change. Because she didn't.

[depressedhatakekakashi]

I love Kakashi and Sasuke equally, and I like when fans see both points of view, I love how you rewrote that scene (the one with Kakashi showing his anger with Sakura), it's perfect. I also understand both characters, even though Kakashi knew Sakura's intentions, when he arrived on the scene he only saw Sasuke trying to kill her (S*suke's fandom never thinks about it) so I understand Kakashi and it seems dumb to me to hate him just for that, it's as if I hate Sasuke without taking into account why he's like that, it doesn't make sense. But well in summary I love how you wrote the scene!!

People definitly do hate Sasuke for stupid reason’s, espeshally dude bro’s. I’ve seen a lot of it so i get Sasuke fan’s frustration, but doing the exact same to another character who in the long run didn’t hurt Sasuke is what gets me

There are tons of characters who legit hurt Sasuke, but there’s this strange obsession with being angry at Kakashi

Ya some of the things he does is frustrating and sometimes we want more from him in terms of being angry at sakura (or even Naruto) for how they act toward Sasuke

Those are valid things to be frustrated about

But to take a scene where Kakashi does something a lil wrong by not acting the way we’d have liked or taking sides against sasuke, and making Kakashi out to be ten times worse than he actually is, isn’t actually doing anything

Kakashi didn’t just tell Sasuke he almost killed Sakura cuz he has a favorite student. He did that because that IS what happened. When Kakashi save’s sakura her back is turned to Sasuke. When Naruto saves her, that’s when she is 100% attacking first

And i’d LOVE for him to have recognized that and given Sakura more shit (might have to write a continuation of that scene where he does) hut to act as though Sasuke was only defending himself (which i did make the mistake of doing before re-reading) is unfair

Saying Kakashi called Naruto and Sai ‘problem teammates’ when what he actually asked was if they got into a fight is just dishonest, but sakura fan’s do that shit too. I’ve seen the confession where one of them tried to play it up like sakura was asking for training and kakashi just stone cold ignored her when that’s not at all what happened

So Sasuke fan’s arn’t alone

It’s a fandom wide problem and it’s not Kakashi alone

Sasuke and naruto fan’s do it to Sakura

Naruto fan’s do it to sasuke

Sasuke and Sakura fan’s do it to Naruto

It’s so perverse in fandom and i hate it cuz it just tells me people didn’t actually read/watch the content before deciding to inflate every issue so the characters actions are way worse than they actually are

[scruffyssketchbook]

What's your favorite animal moment?

Personally I'll never forget the first time I saw Lee drop his leg weights

Author Chan: I’ve watched so much anime that I never actually thought of that QwQ

Lee dropping his leg weights was dope AF tho ngl.

I think my favorite anime moment in Naruto specifically was during the Pain fight when Hinata came into the fight and confessed her love for Naruto ❤️❤️❤️ then when she tries fighting Pain and fails but as she’s bleeding out she crawls towards Naruto and Pain is like “Why would you attempt to save Naruto if you know you’d Die” and she’s like “I’ll never give up, cause it’s my ninja way”

Bro the Pain arc in general just GRIPPED ME. Legit the best arc imo.

[okaywitheverything]

World’s Worst Best Men: Itachi x Wife!Reader

A/n: I'm not writing a summary but I have a feeling you'll like this one. Not so much romance as usual, but it is fun and I’m proud of it. 

Pairing: Itachi x Wife!Reader, Platonic Sasuke x Reader

Word Count: 1.7K

Here’s the dress I imagine wearing. Though, your imagination is key.

                                  ♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤♤

Uchiha weddings were nothing, if not extravagant and over the top, you should know, you have had one for yourself.

Standing beside your husband of three years, the prodigy, Itachi Uchiha, you couldn't have been happier. Sasuke was getting married and you and Itachi had the most triumphant grins on your faces, both beaming gleefully.

You and Itachi had been childhood bestfriends but didn't start dating dating until late teen years. So naturally Sasuke had been an important person in your life, an amazing boy whom you had watched grow up.

The wedding had been a blast, everyone enjoying themselves to the fullest. Asuma and Kurenai were dancing along with their son in a group with Kakashi and Gai. Kakashi drunk dancing was really a sight for sore eyes.

Genma was at the bar, really vibing with one of Sakura's distant aunts while Iruka was being paired up with one of Hinata's quiet aunts by Naruto.

Minato and Kushina were standing alongside Fugake and Mikoto drinking champagne and feeling proud.Smiles of genuine happiness were on each of their faces as they felt their life goals had been achieved.

Of course all the boys were dancing alongside the Jounins' group with Sasuke in between surrounded by a wild Naruto, drunk Kiba, flustered Lee and other friends of the like.

The girls were in their own group with the bride in between surrounded by perfectionist Ino, jovial Tenten, inebriated Temari, bewildered Hinata and likewise. Ino kept straightening the flowers in the newlywed girl's hair.

This was all you could ever ask for someone as important to you as Sasuke. You, someone who never cried, almost shed a tear when Sauske said his vows. The fact he found love in his life made you really grateful to God.

After all the guest tired themselves out by uncoordinated and off beat dancing, it was time for the best man's speech or in this case, best men.

Naruto and Itachi were the two best men as they both mean the world to Sasuke. His best friend and his elder brother.

With a champagne flute in hand, Naruto started, "Putting our rivalry aside for one day, I would go so far as to call you-, this is only a once in a lifetime privilege remember Teme," He referred to Sasuke getting off track his speech, "-my best friend. Who would have thought you would get married? Howbeit to a girl?"

Everybody laughed, silently agreeing with Naruto. The atmosphere of the wedding hall was bright, beautiful and cheery. The exuberant and buoyant gathering listened with real enthusiasm.

"I don't have anything against you marrying a guy, honestly because all of us expected you to, after you broke a lot of poor girls' hearts."

Sasuke seemed really shocked at this, even his mouth fell open with widened eyes while everyone once again silently agreed. Sasuke's shock told you that he actually had never heard about this rumor before. 

God, he was a really oblivious kid.

"I know, Dobe," Naruto said referring to Sasuke's surprised expression, "I was that shocked too, when I came to know they shipped you with me nonetheless, because that was something even I wasn't aware of." Naruto and Sauke both made disgusted faces, as if on cue. The look of terror on Sasuke’s face might have led people to believe it was the most sinister thought ever.

But they did look cute together.

"But I guess they say, you aren't really best friends if they don't confuse you as homosexuals." Naruto let out a beaming grin while Sasuke gave a crooked smile. Everyone inwardly cooed at the pure expressions.

"However, there is one female I remember you crushing on, the only one in the entirety of our lives."

Sasuke had a look of horror on this face as he shook his head 'no' immediately, trying to get Naruto to shut up, specks of red in his eyes as he threatened to activate his 'Sharingan'.

"I remember you being all flustered and look at (Y/N) with heart eyes.”

Naruto's grin widened, showing his pearly whites, clearly content with Sasuke's reaction. 

Your name caught you off-guard and you were in absolute shock. People turned around to give you a not-so-subtle glance but you didn’t care. You always thought Sasuke was a shy and quiet kid who liked to keep to himself. Mikoto let out a cheer while Fugaku smiled. Itachi let out a deep-throated chuckle from beside you which caused you to turn to him, “You knew about this?”

He silently nodded with a smile on his face and you carried on, “And never even mentioned it to me? Would it have killed you to do so?”

“It wasn’t any of my business. Also, it was pretty funny.”

You lightly hit his arm and retorted, “Oh God, I don’t even know who I got married to!”

A smile still broke out on your face as you turned to Naruto once again.

“I remember once Kiba and I were hanging out and we heard a really high pitched shriek from the forest. We ran all the way inside thinking someone was in danger but it turned out to be Sasuke squealing beacuse it was (Y/N)’s birthday and she gave him a kiss on the cheek for some gift he gave her. I swear our ears started bleeding. He was so red that we thought all the tomatoes he ate finally caught up to him.”

You blinked twice, your expression blank. Then a coy smile made its way to your face. You looked over to find Sasuke as red as a cherry, not even meeting your eyes. He was definitely praying to God that looks could kill, so that Naruto would drop dead.

“I remember that back in the academy, he never let any of us touch his hair because (Y/N) ruffled it while dropping him off. So he would sit through the lessons looking like he just woke up.”

All his classmates snickered at that, recalling the fond memory, while you were amused. It was so hilarious to see such a stoic person so flabberghasted. 

“The most interesting incident that came out of all this was, and I’m totally risking my life by telling you all this. Sasuke would kill me if I even narrate it to anyone, rather announce it on the microphone at his wedding, but your best friend gets married only once. Well hopefully. If I turn up dead by the coming of dawn, it was Sasuke Uchiha everyone.”

Everyone laughed along once again while half of the people were on the edge of their seats thinking what it could possibly be. Sasuke had a puzzled expression on his face, anticipating and fearing what Naruto had up his sleeve.

“Anyways, one when we were high........ I mean drunk, he confessed of a secret love letter he wrote to (Y/N) as a tween but never sent it.”

Your eyes widened as you let out an audible gasp while the room buzzed with chortles and sniggers. Your brother-in-law crushing on you wasn’t necessary negative news but the whole event had overwhelmed you that you could not contemplate even your reaction.

Apparently, you were the only one to be surprised as all the other guests smiled knowingly and cackled. You glanced over to find Sasuke so scarlet that you wondered if the sharingan had spread to his face given that his kekkei genkai was active now.

Itachi chuckled again seeing your reaction and put an arm around your shoulder while gently squeezing. You turned to him and finaly let out a chuckle yourself, eyes still widened in disbelief.

“Am I dreaming?” you asked and shook your head.

“Seriously though, have I been that oblivious Itachi? How could I not notice this while everyone here recalls it as some keen memory?” You held your head with one hand, leaning furthermore into itachi. Your eyes flickered to see Sasuke’s eyes, boring apologetically into your own. 

One look at his chiseled face told you of his anxiety and concern. The small frown on his face saddened your heart.

Does he think I hate him? Poor baby, NO!

You weren’t offened, flattered if anything. But the spontaneity of the situation rendered you speechless.

You gave him the best smile you could muster, wiggling your eyebrows at him and blowing him a kiss from your cherry lips, and grinning again.

He visibly relaxed, shoulders now less taut, jaw a bit slackened though his face remained painted in scarlet hues. Seeing him calm down, you winked at him and turned to Naruto again, anticipating his next words.

“My only regret tonight is that I couldn’t find that letter even inside his personal diary or his deep closet. I swear it was there the last time! No worries, hope you found this speech of mine, entertaining as it is. One last toast to Sasuke though, for his new life ahead. Cheers.” 

Sasuke cooled down with each passing word, smirking triumphantly when he realised he won’t be shred of his remaining dignity anymore.

Everyone toasted together, drinking huge mouthfuls of their wines, rejoicing in Naruto’s words for Sasuke.

Itachi kissed your temple, and left you while moving to the centre of the stage, where Naruto was.

“If I may?” He asked as Naruto passed him the microphone.

“I’d like to say how proud of my baby brother to have come this far in life, as a great shinobi, an excellent son, a marvelous friend and a terific human overall.”

Everone clapped vigourously including you, while all his classmates hollered and hooted. A faint blush adorned Sasuke’s cheeks as he visibly pouted on being call ‘baby bro’.

“And I was about to give a half an hour long speech, but my wee brother’s best friend, Naruto just stole all my content. So much for the tales.” Itachi playfully sighed, all the specatators buzzed with laughter while Sasuke deadpanned.

Well, he wont forget his wedding day ever now. Everyone is dead set on embarrassing him.

“However, I do have something Naruto didn’t have.”

Everyone stilled, waiting with anticipation of what was about to come, including you. Itachi refused to rehearse his best man speech with you because he wanted to write a speech for Sasuke on his own, heartfelt and everything.

He reached inside his tuxedo’s jacket and took out an old cramped paper, yellowing a bit and you raised your eyebrows, questioningly.

Sasuke gulped.

“I have the love letter, everyone!”

Oh Wow.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A/N: If you reading this, atleast you made it till the end. Thank you.

So that was that. It was some scenario I just thought about. A bit of a cliffhanger, I haven’t thought about a follow up part 2, but we’ll see if that’s what you want.

Thanks for the love you gave me on my first post, we reached 200 if you count the separate posts I made by mistake. This inspires me to write. Remember, requests are OPEN so feel free to hit my asks page. 

[kakakakashi]

Haiii could I plz request a gaara fluff where ur from the hidden leaf but best friends with konkuro and have been trying to get close to gaara for so long but moody gaara refuses to warm up and the sand also gets in the way? I've just got to the sai arc in shippeden plz no spoilers.

Okay, first thing’s first. Don’t worry, dude. I’m only on episode 155, (and I’ve been putting off because I’m almost at Pain vs. Kakashi, and I AM NOT READYYYYYY!!!) so I think I’m mostly spoiler free about Gaara. Besides, I like to think this would take place between Naruto & Naruto Shippuden.

Next thing, I’m sorry. I am so so so sorry. Everyone’s got a crush on Gaara… but I don’t. I know, there’s something wrong with me! I tried my best, but if this is bad, please have him throw sand in my face. He only deserves the best. I love him & his sibs.

Lastly, omg! Girl, I LOVE that arc! I love Sai & I love Yamato. Their introduction is so funny. Like, they’re sassy little shits. They are great. You’re gonna love them… I hope at least. If not, that’s cool too. Anyway, have some sand baby.

Oh, also, I made you friends with Shikamaru too because you’re bros who travel to & from Suna to see your baes. Don’t worry, Kank is still your bestie, though. In this house, we love puppet asshole!

-

The outline of Suna shone brightly against the blue skies of spring. With Shikamaru by your side, you casually chatted about the days to come.

“So, when are you gonna ask her out?” you poked at him with a teasing smirk on your face.

Shikamaru’s cheeks flushed a slight pink, but he quickly grumbled, “What’re you even talking about Y/N?”

Picking up your pace, so you were just a step or two before him. You chuckled to yourself, “Nothing, nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’re no better,” he grumbled.

That shut you up.

Sure, you’d liked Gaara for a while, but he wasn’t into you. If anything, he tried to spend as little time with you as possible. Sometimes, it made your heart ache, but it wasn’t like you could do anything. After all, his brother was your best friend. Retreating into your own thoughts, the rest of the trip to Suna was silent. Well, until you saw an all-black outline with a face painted purple.

Kankuro leaned against the main entrance, talking with one of the watch shinobi while he waited for your arrival. When you were close enough to him, you threw a huge smile his way with a theatrical wave.

“Y/N!” Kankuro called, speedily walking to meet you in a bear hug. “What took you so long? Got lost?”

You shoved him off of you with a laugh. “Oh, shut up. You take twice as long whenever you come to the Leaf.”

He rolled his eyes at your antics before he greeted Shikamaru. Then he gestured for you to follow him into the village and to the Kazekage’s office.

While you walked, Kankuro and you caught up while Shikamaru mostly just laughed at your combined tomfoolery. When you got to the building, your stomach began fluttering nervously.

After finding the main office of the Kazekage, Kankuro rapped two knocks on the door before twisting the knob open. Behind his desk stood Gaara looking as handsome as ever while he glanced over some official document.

His aquamarine eyes seemed a lot livelier since the last time you saw him, and the slight observation made you smile to yourself. He turned towards the sound of your entrance when Kankuro announced, “Guess who’s here!”

“Shikamaru. Y/N.” He greeted you with a polite tint to his voice, “How was your trip?”

“Long,” you joked with him, immediately walking around his desk to embrace him in a hug as well.

However, a coarse wall halted your body just a foot away from him. You glanced down at his small wall of sand before you noticed his blushing cheeks.

Before you could laugh it off, Gaara sputtered out, “Shikamaru! Why don’t I show you to where you’ll be analyzing those documents? Kankuro, would you mind showing Y/N where she’ll be working for the duration of her stay?”

Kankuro and Shikamaru stood, slightly taken aback by what just happened. Although, Gaara was already out the door, waiting for Shikamaru to follow him.

“Um, sure?” Kankuro said to nobody, mostly to make a joke.

Pointing to the doorway while he exited, Shikamaru left. “I guess that’s my cue. I’ll catch you later, guys.”

Now, it was just you and your best friend standing in the office.

“Well,” you were the first to speak, “That just happened.”

You’d felt slightly embarrassed at what just happened, but mostly, you felt a bit crushed. Noticing this, Kankuro decided it was best to move on. “Come on,” he nodded to the door while he started strolling out of the office, “I’ll show you where you’re at.”

You followed him, asking him if you were crazy for liking his brother. You’d had a pathetic crush on him since you met him after the alliance, and you felt like you were going nowhere. However, Kankuro disagreed.

When you entered the room you’d be working in, Kankuro confessed, “Trust me, Y/N, he’s just nervous. You know Gaara wasn’t in a place where he could process any kind of feelings when we first met you guys. It doesn’t help that he became Kazekage right after. It’s a pretty demanding job. He definitely doesn’t get much time to himself. Once he does, I think he’ll be able to sort through his feelings, and maybe he’ll realize you guys would be good together. He just needs a little more time. Believe me.”

“I’m not inclined to,” was all you could snort back at him. It was a playful jab, but you still felt a little sad. It felt like a pipe dream to believe Gaara even enjoyed your company.

Kankuro knew of Gaara’s feelings, but he couldn’t tell you outright. So, instead, he insisted, “Come on, he’s a wreck every time you so much as look in his direction.”

You stayed silent at that, but you were brought out of your own thoughts by a knock in the doorway. You turned to see Gaara standing properly in the doorway.

He looked slightly stiff, but Kankuro was leaving both of you high and dry. He not-so-casually crept out of the way with both thumbs up until he bolted out of the room. “Gotta go!”

“What was that about?” Gaara inquired when the black flash dashed past. With a shrug from you he simply brushed it off with a shake of his head and a slight chuckle at his brother’s antics.

“Um, I was hoping to apologize for what happened earlier,” he announced to you, glancing around the room to avoid your gaze. His cheeks were tinged just a pinch of pink, and it made you smile to yourself.

“No,” you try, “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have invaded your space without warning.”

“Oh, no, please don’t worry,” Gaara countered, approaching you further while trying to remedy the misunderstanding. You took the opportunity to take in every feature of his face. You mentally traced his tattoo across his forehead, the curve of his nose, the shape of his lips, the darkness surrounding his eyes, and the way his bright red locks just brushed against his skin a bit. He looked stunning, and your lungs felt tight. “I’m simply not used to people so openly wanting to hug me.”

“I always enjoy seeing you, Gaara.”

“I’m glad.” A smile spread across his face that left your stomach bursting with butterflies. “Um, you’ll be staying at the same inn as the last time, so let me know if you have any trouble.”

It felt like he was trying to escape again.

“Oh, thank you.”

Gaara noticed your expression fall a bit, and he immediately felt his entire being fall through the floor.

“You’re probably tired after traveling,” he figured, “so I’ll let you rest. If you need anything, Please, let me know.”

Something came over you in that moment, and you found your mouth moving without your brain thinking. “In all honesty, I’m more of hungry than tired. I’ve been dying to try that new restaurant Kankuro told me about in his letters. If you want to come, you’re more than welcome.”

In that moment, time stood still. You felt so stupid for suggesting it, and you wished that your words had never escaped your mouth.

Although, you were shocked when he replied, “I’d love to… but it’s my treat. I insist.”

“Really?” you murmured, “You don’t have any Kazekage business to attend to?”

The hopeful look in your eyes made Gaara’s heart soar. He’d liked you for some time, so he figured now was the only chance he’d get. From somewhere, a bit of confidence shot through him when he kidded, “I’m sure they can manage without me for a bit.”

“Then, let’s go… you don’t have to pay, though.”

“As I said, I insist.”

You strolled to the small restaurant side by side, your fingers brushing slightly while you held a shy conversation filled with innocent smiles and kind laughter. Maybe Kankuro was right about everything. At least, that’s what both you and Gaara were wondering.

Bonus:

Watching with his binoculars, Kankuro zoomed in on you two from his spot in the Kazekage’s tower.

“Yes!” He pumped his fist in the air. “Finally!”

[keepyourpantsongohan]

Ayesha Liveblogs Cardcaptor Sakura: Clear Card S1

Not to be someone born in the 90s but wow this is a change from the more simple animation style new anime truly likes things shiny, intensely bright and round lmao

Ah I guess the prologue is just a reanimation of the original anime finale? That’s fair it helps you reintegrate if it had been nineteen years for you

“That way, you’ll realize who you consider to be your Number One” Eriol’s advice has gotten less cryptic since he stopped lying

“The person I love the most... is you” Lmao didn’t Syaoran ALREADY do this confession in the final battle this is like in Naruto the Last where Naruto just forgot that Hinata had already said she loved him

Fdshkfjhkjdfhksjhfkjh wow Yukito appearing with a flower background and shine effect and softened face is this a style choice or is this just Toya Vision™

I think Toya’s voice IS different rest in pieces I still respect u bro 

“How do I feel about Syaoran” [Pan across Syaoran in floral background] It is a style choice how very shojo manga of you

I’m really very confused by the references to Tokyo Tower bc I’m pretty sure they were battling at Tsukimine Shrine did I miss something??

No I just checked it was definitely at the shrine in the anime did THEY not check or were they like ‘hmmm not enough drama only Tokyo Tower for our battle backdrops pls’

This is the third or fourth flower backdrop in the first ten minutes jkhkdjhg the floral effect artists said ‘I WILL BE SILENT NO LONGER’:

I DO NOT understand the chronology of this the bear exchange was the last scene in the anime is this before or after the finale???? If it’s after then why is Syaoran still in town

Rjhkjhgkj is the entire point of redoing this episode so Sakura could also give Syaoran a bear

“Toya was too embarrassed, so he had me bring it over and went back to his room” Lmao @ Toya sending his boyfriend to be nice to his sister in his place 

If this show does not stop the floral cutaways I will not be able to take it seriously it is Ouran High School Host Club levels of intensity jdshfkjshdfkjhsdk

“Will you wait for me?” “Yes! I’ll wait! I’ll be waiting!” I think they threw out all continuity just so they could establish that these feelings were for sure mutual for the setup of the sequel series

That, or the original series so heavily discarded manga continuity that they are trying to walk it back to something more accurate without any real explanation

Rffkghkfghkdfhgkj if they’re referencing the original anime bear scene what was the point of that stupid prologue SO WHAT IS THE TRUTH

“My name is Mike. I’m from Portland” LOL references to Americans in anime are always so funny 

“Now I can stay in Tomoeda forever” did u bring ur mom and sisters orrr

Gosh I’m actually quite thrown by how quickly this romance escalated it took them 57 episodes to just use each other’s first names and now it’s taken them one (1) episode to Commit 4Ever At Age 13

HAHAHA do they have smart phones now? Always on the cutting edge

“I Am a Stuffed Animal” some of the quirky captions ARE worth it

“Make sure you tell him... even the smallest things” Yue has become more of a romantic since he got closure and a part-time boyfriend 

“I never knew! Thanks for telling me!” “Never change, Li-kun” kjhgkjhdkj STILL MY GULLIBLE BOY some things don’t ever change

Is that a dragon?? They are really expanding this magical universe

It bears repeating the polar opposite levels of pacing from the two shows it’s only episode one and they’ve already established so many new rules and powers 

I don’t blame them for it though bc they have to put forward some kind of plot progression

There were so many visual effects in that scene I couldn’t even tell what was happening lmao it’s like reading manga battles

“But why are these things happening in Tomoeda again?” I mean not to point fingers but Syaoran’s arrival is fairly recent

“Did Wei-san come back with you” “No, just me. But he said he’d come to check on me in a while” HE’S 13?? CHILD. WELFARE. LAWS!!!!

“I wish that I could’ve used it as a reference” “For what?” “To make something that would look wonderful on you” LMAO now that Syaoran and Sakura are a thing He is Included in the outfits 

“’Great to have you’ so you can do what?” don’t bully ur sister Toya, u r both happy with your respective relationships now

WHAT ARE THE STAKES OF KERO PRETENDING TO BE A PLUSHIE TOYA IS LITERALLY DATING THE MOON

I understood “Gale” but what exactly is a “Siege” card this feels a little abstract 

“We managed to keep him in the dark” did u tho? Again. Moon boyfriend

“So it happened in her room” Did u put a protection spell on that bear or something Syaoran 

I genuinely do not tire of Syaoran and Sakura’s shared gullibility this couple is morosexual solidarity

How convenient that Sakura’s new key just announces whenever there’s a new clear card to collect lmao

I meant what I said about Toya’s love language being touching Yukito somewhere above the shoulders 

“You’ll find out when the time comes” Dfddjhfjkdhf Toya what are you going to DO 

Two cards in one episode is quite a bit for ep 3 I guess they’re trying to give her some more fighting options lol 

Is the implication of the way Sakura just happens to be coming across magical phenomenon that Clow Reed didn’t make his cards but just harnessed magic that existed in nature 

For no reason other than my own suspicion I think that something funky is going on with Syaoran’s powers

“That person was almost the same height as me” I mean so was Eriol

“Sakura and the Lovely Transfer Student” we know by now transfer students mean that shit’s about to get real

“And then you slept with your belly uncovered” “I did not!” Toya’s gentle bullying to distract Sakura is always weirdly sweet

“Your brother is so funny Sakura” CHIHARU’S RIGHT STAN TOYA

SHINOMOTO ARE YOU SHITTING ME JHDFGHDGDFDD WHY DOES IT RHYME

“I hope we can be friends” if I know anything about this show this means she’s going to do something very shady immediately

I wonder if this will be the season that Tomoyo’s filming of everything Sakura does finally becomes plot relevant

I do think it’s weird that Sakura trusted a new key without questioning it

“I’m changing back” LOL @ YUE TRANSFORMING INTO YUKITO JUST TO AVOID PEOPLE I’M STARTING TO REALLY LIKE HIM

DGSJGSJDGDJGSFFSJDHJS YUKITO APOLOGIZING FOR YUE LEAVING RUDELY THAT’S MY POLITE AND HANDSOME MAN WHO HAS NEVER DONE ANYTHING WRONG IN HIS LIFE

I KNEW Syaoran was being suspicious!!! Talking about Sakura with Eriol in secret phone calls

“I came here to be ready for that time, when it comes” current theory is that Syaoran has NO powers and that’s why he is not running out of his classroom for teenage battles with the Forces of Nature

“How much has Yukito-san been eating?” “Not as much as he did when you were in elementary school, but he still eats a lot for his size” This must be a strange conversation for their dad to listen to but I like how this is code for Does Yukito Have Magical Chakra Exhaustion

“Um, I just... Phone call” said Sakura, as she was forcibly moonwalked away right in front of her friends’ eyes

LOL is Tomoyo being unable to film Sakura going to be a recurring joke 

“Don’t worry about it” “I have to, when it’s about you” Syaoran really going Full Boyfriend Mode huh

I’ve never questioned it in until precisely this moment but who pays Kero’s phone bill?? Is it Tomoyo? Who is the account holder for this stuffed animal did she establish Kero as a legal person

“Momo-chan, let’s be friends okay?” I feel like this has to be immediate foreshadowing for Momo being alive

[Cucumber cut incorrectly] “Gotta show Yuki” hjkfhksjdhfkjhd rude of Toya but the caption kills me

Ddjkhfkjdhfjkdhfkjh the pure juxtaposition of this energy:

Tomoyo: They have other things to do

Chiharu, thinking that it’s a romance thing: [Winks]

Syaoran and Sakura: [In the shadows while threatening music plays]

“I didn’t feel... anything” oh NO why r their magic senses NOT tingling

I feel like I have been had, they had an episode called the “Song of the Moon” and Yukito didn’t even show up?? Rude

SCREAM this magical FaceTime call is much funnier than I could’ve imagined

“Yukito is in a recitation club, which he takes very seriously” GDGJFGJGJHGDG Yue very respectful of not occupying Yukito’s time with magical shenanigans LMAO

“And we’ll make them the cutest oxygen masks you’ve ever seen” Tomoyo, like the background effects artists in this anime, will not be stopped

Well colour me inaccurate I guess Syaoran can use his powers and he can do a fancy new sword thing

I like this flying scarf it’s the first of the new cards with a personality

Poor Syaoran always so serious to being a Teenage Wizard is hard

Wow I bet there’s NOTHING weird about the fact Akiho lives in Eriol’s house it’s just pure happenstance (said no one)

“Could we um, go out together?” I think this is the first time someone has explicitly scheduled a date in all 80+ episodes

I really do enjoy Toya’s never-ending list of temp jobs lmao 

“Still going on, huh?” Toya’s older brother senses are unparalleled

LMAO IS THIS A 15 YEAR OLD BUTLER

Ghgjhfjfjhfjh what is the scale for these heights why is Kaito twice the height of these 13-year-olds

Unsubtle shot of this man’s pocket watch echoing Sakura’s dream

I’ve never seen a more Rich Person Reaction than Akiho getting upset that Katio, a service worker, stated that taking care of her was his job hfkjdhfkjh

“I came to Japan because there was a book I wanted”

1. VERY Rich Person thing to say

2. Wow I wonder which of you has a MAGICAL BOOK that’s been doing weird things lately

“What language is it” “I don’t know, but I’ve learned to read it” me when I hear people speak South Asian languages LMAO

Why does everyone keep referencing the Time That’s Coming? Toya, Syaoran, Eriol... they’ve all caught Mizuki’s affliction of vague and unhelpful prophecies

*One more go to jail Mizuki for the road

I hope that these stupid FaceTime calls with Yue are in EVERY episode from now on

Does the fact that he’s listed as Yue-san in Sakura’s phone mean that there’s a phone for each personality omg

OMG I just realized the ep title (Sakura’s Thrilling Aquarium Visit) must be a throwback to “Sakura’s Heart-Racing First Date” which was not a date but took place at an aquarium. Cute!!

GJHGSHJGFSGH Yue is me whenever people talk about video games:

Kero: Hey, Yue, play an online game with me

Yue: [Hangs up immediately]

“I made you wait” “Nah, I got here too early. It’s still twelve minutes before our meeting time.” I think she and Yukito had this exact exchange in that early ep

“She doesn’t have magical powers, but she’s oddly perceptive” I hope that Meilin’s one and only magical power is precognition lmao

Omg every time someone in this show speaks English I am so thrown 

“I wasn’t sure how I should look at him” awww Syaoran trying to re-establish himself in the family

I guess this aquarium HAS changed in that it developed a security system for when the tank breaks [youknowwhathatisgrowth.gif]

LOL I guess it’s convenient to have an invisibility cloak when ur breaking and entering I was wondering how they were going to deal with their criminal behaviour in the age of cameras

Ep 10. Sakura’s Unbelievable Juvenile Detention Centre

Weel weel weel looks like Sakura isn’t the only one with new powers nice ice Syaoran!! I missed their tag team fights

OH MY GOD IF THIS PHOTO ALBUM ACCEPTS THE CONTINUITY OF THE SECOND MOVIE THEN SAKURA AND SYAORAN HAVE ALREADY! DONE! THEIR! CONFESSIONS! WOULD YOU PICK A LANE

“You want the person you like to eat good food” Besides the fact Kaito is twice your height and therefore probably an adult... u should not make advances on people u employ - this is all very bad-vibes-no-jutsu

I am shocked that it took this long for Sakura to notice that her new cards paralleled the old cards

Syaoran is staring at Kaito like he murdered his spouse in a previous life 

“So he has Moon magic too?” UHHHH WAS SYAORAN’S MAGIC ALWAYS MOON-BASED I FEEL LIKE THAT’S NOT CLEAR

Also very unclear why Eriol keeps leaving her on read if he’s talking to Syaoran what

I love how Kero has independent friendships and communications with both Yukito and Tomoyo lmao

How many times has Penguin Park been destroyed by now

“Perhaps your dream is gradually progressing” Progressing into what exactly the Battle of the Nice Thirteen-Year-Olds

Why is it that magic in this universe comes with above-average athletic ability LOL

Once again, without a body/personification, these cards seem harsh

Kaito seems like too much of a red herring a la Mizuki so I’m going to assume the other presence we see is someone we either haven’t met yet or smth really fucked up with the rest of the main cast 

I’d lose my mind if it was Toya but I genuinely hope not he’s too nice

I honestly missed Meilin ever since she chilled out a bit she’s very fun

“The emoji in her message definitely looked thrilled” [Bob Dylan voice] For the times they are a-changin’.....

“I don’t know when it’ll happen, but when it does you’ll know” Toya.......

Toya’s absolutely nonplussed reaction to his Moon Boyfriend never ceases to amaze

Yukito: [Sighs and floats into the air to wrap in a wing cocoon]

Toya: [Sitting and staring unfazed] 

Also am I crazy or was that transformation on purpose bc it really had the energy of ‘Fine if you won’t talk to me maybe you’ll talk to Rude Magical Me!!’

“Did I change again?” GUESS NOT LMAO 

Also it’s fun how as different as Yukito and Yue are, their shared brain cell says ‘TOYA COMMUNICATE WITH MEE’ 

“But ever since Syaoran came back, he’s had something important on his mind” People don’t give Sakura enough credit for her emotional intelligence

Can we take a minute to appreciate Sakura’s outfit fashion ICON

What is this Furry card that makes u dress up in ears and a tail lmao

“I’ll treasure [these cookies]” “I’d rather you ate them” LOL

My Furry card prediction gets more and more accurate with each passing second (even a broken clock’s right twice a day)

Uhhhhh Syaoran what did u sell to the moon devil to be able to cut through the space-time continuum

Sakura: NO THAT’S MY EMOTIONAL SUPPORT SYAORAN

SCREAM this family and their circle of hair cutting (also if Yukito cuts Toya’s hair, does Toya cut Yukito’s? Or does it not grow bc magic jfhkfh)

“I’m pretty sure that was middle school English” Sakura hearing English is me hearing French LMAO 

“Sucks, doesn’t he?” MEILIN PLS

Djhfjkdhkjfhjk Tomoyo’s immediate rage at being the centre of attention

SAKURA DOING MAGIC RIGHT IN FRONT OF OTHER PEOPLE OMG

“Surround the entire mansion” Very subtle Sakura I’m sure no one in your whole town will notice

“I hear her father specializes in archaeology, so he might have some interesting books” “Have I mentioned Sakura-san’s father to you before?” [Dramatic cut in music] WELL

Oh my GOD did Kaito just turn back time bc he regretted what he said immediately? Honestly a mood

Also: BITCH

“You’re so alike, and not just because of your names” I have to say I’ve been thinking since her first appearance that Akiho looks like Nadeshiko so if they’re not related I will be surprised

“Sometimes watching good people makes me feel sad” well damn Meilin

I’m going to guess this Teenage Robot is the equivalent of the fight card that Meilin fought upon her introduction

Aw HELL YEAH SAKURA AND MEILIN TAG TEAM FIGHT WOOOO

“Aren’t you and Syaoran doing too much for those you care about, and forgetting to care about yourselves?” WELL DAMN MEILIN U R THE NEW TEENAGE SUPERHERO THERAPIST

 “Can I call you ‘Sakura’ from now on, too?” AHHH THESE KIDS

LMAO AMAZING IT TOOK 13 STRAIGHT EPISODES FOR MOMO TO EVEN TWITCH

“We are indeed progressing... toward that time” I feel THREATENED

Once again I cannot stress strongly enough how much I love physical comedy

Sakura: They don’t seem to be causing any harm

The dessert rolls:

GOD the roll cakes eating each other to form one giant monster Babushka doll roll cake jhfjkdhgkdjhgkj incredible

EXCUSE ME MA’AM WHY WAS THERE A DEMON GIRL IN THE REFLECTION OF THIS SHATTERED CARD 

“Please laugh again” Akiho is v nice I really hope Kaito isn’t mean 

“Once a magical contract is formed, it can’t be broken, unless something really serious happens” [Quirrel voice] Can anyone tell me what foreshadowing is?

“What do you feel” “I think it’s a card” Very observant Sakura I think they gathered that

When Sakura gets all four of the base elements is Momo going to turn into a 200 pound giant rabbit

I like that every time Toya is concerned about Sakura, Yue appears suddenly to discuss the matter seriously with him [Gay and Wondorous Life of Caleb Gallo voice] He’s in this relationship!!

“When you’re angry or upset, it shows on your face, even if you don’t say it” Yue IS in this relationship woooow

“When humans realize they’re talking to a fox, they won’t sell you mittens. In fact, they’ll catch you and put you in a cage.” UH who is the fox in this metaphor not Sakura I hope???

Years later Syaoran is still winded if Sakura makes too much eye contact khgkghkjg 

The fact that Yukito reads at a children’s hospital... truly one of The Nicest Not-Humans On Earth

Well with each passing episode we have less and less reasons to trust these cards and Kaito the Young Magical Butler

Ever since Kaito reversed time, I cannot shake the persistent thought that Akiho IS Nadeshiko. That’d be weird but u know... I’ve seen this show do weirder

“Your sweets look better” “No, yours!” Grandpa witnessing this date

“Also if Sakura-chan goes to college or wants to do something else, he wants to help” TOYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

“Any further, and you won’t be able to return” NADESHIKO BE MORE SPECIFIC 

“It was my robe” Wait what ur family is a magical society or smth and somehow u don’t know Akiho??? How in the whomst

Everyone in this anime is like, ‘Haha Yue looks mad’ as if Yue does not look mad every second that he’s alive

KHKJHKFJHKJFHJ GRANDPA MASAKI REALLY GONNA GIVE SAKURA A HOUSE AND TOYA NOTHING LMAO WHAT’S IT LIKE TO BE THE LEAST FAVOURITE GREAT-GRANDCHILD LOL

“Nadeshiko would talk to things that weren’t there, and try to reach an understanding with things that couldn’t talk” 91 EPISODES LATER AND MR. KINOMOTO FINALLY ACKNOWLEDGES MAGIC?? OKAY

AND HE KNEW BOTH SAKURA AND TOYA HAVE HAD MAGICAL PROBLEMS FOR 3 YEARS!!! MR. KINOMOTO WHAT KIND OF HANDS-OFF PARENTING

“I want me to tell me [about your pain] too” wow this is the CALL-OUT EPISODE

“The house they live in was once torn down and replaced with an amusement park” were the continuity errors of accepting the second movie... A PLOT POINT?!?!?!

DAMN U KAITO I REALLY WANTED THINGS TO BE OKAY FOR AKIHO

“But I’ve got a great poker face” “Yes you do. But Yue does not” JKHDKJGHKJSHGKJHDKJGHSDJGHKJH BY DIALOGUE ALONE IT’S LIKE WHENEVER ANYONE SEES YUE’S FACE TWITCH IT MEANS HE’S HAVING AN EMOTIONAL BREAKDOWN

Yue: Evil magic looming overhead is bad for your wifi signal actually

“I will obtain these new cards. So I can use the relic I took from the association to activate that magic spell” Kaito really laying out his motivations out loud in a library. Insensible. Vague and probably misleading. 1/10 villainous monologue 

Sakura’s powers are WILD she can duplicate the strength of her magic 

“Power that’s too strong will bring unhappiness to its owner” SYAORAN :((

I feel like the only way this can end is Toya giving Sakura magical noogie so she doesn’t have to carry all of her powers like the reverse of what he did for Yue-kito 

THERE IS TOO LITTLE TIME LEFT IN THIS SHOW FOR ALL THE ANSWERS I NEED THERE’S ONLY 20 MINUTES AHHHH

THERE ARE 12 MINUTES LEFT AND STILL NO ANSWERS!!! WHAT HAPPENSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

I GOT ABSOLUTELY NO ANSWERS OH MY GOD?!?!?!?!

[ichirostitties]

It’s great to see another HypMic imagines blog around!! Can I request some headcanons for how Ichiro, Dice, and Samatoki (desperate ofc) react when they’re attempting to flirt with their crush, but their crush doesn’t understand the flirting and just thinks the guys are being super nice all of a sudden? Hopefully that made sense agsjjfkvkv. Best wishes for you and the blog!!!! ꒰#’ω`#꒱੭

aah thanks also this is a v cute ask they r all babey (yes even mr hardcore)

Ichiro

-POOR BOY he really has no experience with this at all :^( it’s basically canon that his only relationship experience comes from light novels/manga and all that nfdjfhssj

-he was probably SO NERVOUS he’s liked you for so long!! for ages he was trying to drop subtle hints (’subtle’) but you just didn’t understand him. he’s so nervous cause he wants to tell you but he just..can’t

-it’s just..,,this one day in particular you guys are hanging out alone FINALLY (since jiro and saburo are at school, he has the day off and you happened to be free too!), and he’s dropping so many hints (it’s up to you whether or not he uses purposely cheesy pickup lines to no avail lmao) he’s tried EVERYTHING. 

-he asked you to go to the movies sometime (he was like “so uhh..,,,would maybe wanna see this [insert cheesy romantic movie title here because ofc he would pick that to be as obvious as possible] together sometime y/n??”) and u were like “yeah i’d love to!! how did you know i’d love to see that movie you’re so thoughtful! :) is it ok if i bring some other friends too?” and he just internally cries because he MEANT just the two of you because it’s a movie COUPLES see together

-you guys were chillin on his couch probably watching uhhh NARUTO like weebs or something and he even tried the ‘accidental contact’ strategy but you just apologised and moved your hand away (he cries again because he just wants to hold ur hand aw)

-so in the end he’s tried all of the worst flirting strategies ever and not only did none of them work, you didn’t understand aNY of them (although you DID notice he was being a little more touchy than usual) and he’s sitting there wondering what to do because he’s so nervous!!! He’s sure he’ll have to actually confess at this rate and he’s never done it before his poor mc big bro heart is beating so fast!

-you probably notice that he seems to be sweating up a storm and you ask if he’s okay and I think that would do it for him honestly

-he takes a deep breath and is like right.,,ok mr mc big bro u got this in his head and turns to you with the reddest face you’ve seen in a while and blurts out that he really reaaallly likes you and he’s had the biggest crush on you for so long!! and he even tells you how he’d been trying to flirt with you all day (honestly flirting for ichiro is sending the ‘:3′ emoji) but you didn’t notice so he decided to just tell you and he Really hopes you feel the same way

-you’re like “oh…oH” and then it all clicks and you FINALLY understand why he was acting the way he was, and you give him the biggest smile ever because you really like him too!! 

-”I really like you too, Ichiro!” and the moment you tell him all his nerves just drop to 0 and he’s SO HAPPY, he doesn’t even register you apologising for not understanding his advances cause he’s too busy trying to believe that this is real and he really just did that and you actually like him back

-and now u r dating ichiro and u guys went to that cheesy romance movie and maybe u smooched him and maybe he cried himself to sleep that night because of how happy he is

-wow this turned into an entire scenario oOPS BUT ANYWAY basically i think ichiro would just confess out of sheer desperation because he’s never really experienced this before and he has no idea how to best handle the situation

-he’s just a big soft nerd idiot but he’s the best big brother ever and we love him anyway :’) ily ichiro ughhh this made me wanna go on so many dates with him

Samatoki

-angery man

-Samatoki would actually be pretty good at flirting honestly, he’s probably had a lot of positive reactions from people in the past so when you don’t really get what he’s implying he like ???? nani the fuck

-he’d probably repeat himself expecting you to get it but you just. don’t and he doesn’t actually know how to react at first.

-he’s not shy when it comes to this stuff, but he does get embarrassed easily when he has to admit his feelings. flirting was so much easier for him because he can just pass it off as not being that deep

-he probably becomes more aggressive with his flirting, like he starts leaning into you more if ya get what i mean

-he just goes with it the first few times it happens, but when you’re continuously oblivious to him he rapidly gets very frustrated, and he becomes more pouty as time goes on and you still just don’t get it!!

-he has trouble expressing his true feelings. he’s such a tsundere oh dear

-he wouldn’t get mad at you though, he really doesn’t want to hurt you even if he does come across as prickly, he just doesn’t really know what to do other than get angry at himself for not just telling you straight away

-you notice he’s feeling down so you ask him what’s wrong and he just blushes and looks away like the dumbass he is. his heart aches when he hears the concern in your voice and he really just wants to tell you. so he mumbles something but you can’t quite hear him, so you ask him to repeat himself and then he turns to you that’s when he confesses to you because he’s tired of feeling like a coward

-he tells you he’s liked you for a while now, and that it’d be fuckin great if you felt the same way otherwise he’d probably never be able to talk to you again (he probably says it all while looking to the side because he’s a stereotypical tsundere when it comes to this and i love him)

-you sort of take a moment to process it, but when it all clicks you realise how much he’d been dropping hints and you’re sorta like damn ok..he’s really smooth im just a dumbass ok but it’s ok cause you guys can both be dumbasses together!!

-he’s still waiting for your response, so you just lean in and kiss him on the cheek and he goes. very red but once he realises that means you feel the same way (it takes him a full 5 seconds), he has the biggest cheesiest grin on his face and gives you a REAL BIG SMOOCH because he’s secretly a pretty big dork

-soft samatoki makes me go sicko mode oh my god

Dice

-DICE’S FLIRTING IS SO STRAIGHTFORWARD AND HE REALLY DOESN’T UNDERSTAND HOW YOU CAN’T REALISE HE HAS A BIG FAT CRUSH ON YOU???

-he’s literally been like “u look hot” and you’re like “aw thanks dice ur the nicest friend!!!!” he literally had question marks in his eyes the entire day

-he has tried EVERYTHING he even used “ya like jaaazzz???” from the bee movie but you thought he was just making a horrible reference and depending on how u feel u either refused to talk to him for the rest of the day or laughed until you cried because he’s such a clown

-he really doesn’t care that much, he’d LOVE to date you but hanging out with you is fine too so he wouldn’t be in the biggest rush to confess. Honestly he’d probably have a blast finding out just how far he can go before you realise how he feels (in a way it’s kinda like gambling cause he never knows when you’re gonna get it ooooo)

-after a few weeks he probably starts to get pretty desperate tho. he sees ur hand once and goes apeshit cause he wants to hOLD IT SO BAD he just wants 2 give u a big soft hug (dice gives the BEST hugs just saying) and now he realises that maybe he should just tell you

-and Dice has no shame, so he does! he goes up to you and is like “hey so uhh..,,,i’ve literally been dropping hints for weeks that I really like you so would you maybe wanna go on a date sometime??”. 

-He wouldn’t seem like it, but he is actually a little nervous. After all, he’s some hopeless homeless case addicted to gambling, why would you ever like him back? But for as few brain cells as Dice has, he actually has more sense than the others and thinks that hey, you must like him at least a little to have been hanging out with him for as long as you have

-when you say that you like him a lot too, he feels his heart swell!! he’s really happy and gives you one of his big signature grins. You apologise for being so clueless, you really thought he was just trying to be nice or entertaining in general cause that’s how he is with everyone else

-Dice pulls you in for a Big Dice Hug and assures you that it’s fine, he’s just as bad as you seeing as he still believes literally everything that falls from Gentaro’s mouth despite knowing how he is, and that he had a lot of fun trying to flirt with you using literally any tactics he could think of (even the kabedon didnt work smh)

-dice is such a genuine person i really can’t see him not confessing. he’s just a babey please give him lots of love and food

[staircasttext]

Ep 15 Transcript: Press Q for War Crimes

Episode 15

[intro music]

PAZ: Hi everyone, welcome back to Stairway to StarClan, a Warriors Cat reread pawdcast. I'm Paz.

JULIAN: I'm Julian.

LIZ: And I'm Liz.

PAZ: And we are here for our mega finale episode, totally intended to be huge not because of bad chapter planning. But yeah, we've finished Fire and Ice and a second full Warriors book.

LIZ: Yay.

JULIAN: Hell yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, exciting. But we're gonna split the discussion up into two parts today because it's really long. So that's the plan. Sorry, I noticed this while I was reading this book in the car today. This review on the back cover, I just wanna read it out for everyone.

JULIAN: Please do.

PAZ: "A suspenseful animal adventure that will leave readers eyeing Puss a little nervously." From the Kirkus Reviews. Thank you, Kirkus Reviews.

JULIAN: Oh my god.

PAZ: This book is like what if my cat's plotting to murder me? You never know. Oh, I feel like I have to give my cat a shoutout for his warrior spirit because he caught three mice within 24 hours.

LIZ: What?

PAZ: Recently, very proud of him.

JULIAN: I'm so proud of him.

LIZ: When did the third one happen?

PAZ: The third one, it happened this morning, I think.

LIZ: Wow.

JULIAN: He's so fierce.

PAZ: He's so fierce, and a great hunter, and he has a bell collar on.

JULIAN: Damn.

PAZ: So he's like fucking Rock Lee. If we ever took that off...

LIZ: He learned how to be a warrior around them. It's like when they do the montage with the fight guys, and they have to have the big weights on them.

PAZ: Yeah, Rock Lee.

LIZ: Is that... well, I don't know. I've never Narutoed.

PAZ: Oh my gosh. Do I have to go send you the Rock Lee weight scene? I'll do that after.

LIZ: All right, join us for season three when we watch Naruto and only that video.

PAZ: I read so much Naruto. I just forget that sometimes. Okay, anyway, let's talk about Warriors, I guess. Anyone have anything else to add before the summaries?

JULIAN: Doozy of a chapter chunk.

LIZ: We're going to get to that part in the first summaries, but I gasped out loud at one thing. Just like holding my little ereader phone, just like [gasps].

PAZ: Yes, there is a very dramatic reveal. Although I knew it, so it wasn't as dramatic for me. But glad to hear that first impression reaction. Let's start off with these chapter summaries, breaking off from when Brokenstar's polycule attacks ThunderClan. Chapter 26, Brokenstar attacks ThunderClan. While Fireheart, Yellowfang, the apprentices and the queens fight back, the elders hide away the kits. Cinderpaw goes to join, but Dustpaw forces her to stay back in Yellowfang's den.

Fireheart fights Brokenstar, but is attacked by Clawface. That was the cat who killed Spottedleaf in the last book. Fireheart furiously attacks Clawface, suddenly feeling Spottedleaf's spirit besides him to help avenge her death. Just as Clawface pins him down, Fireheart cries out to Spottedleaf for help. But Graystripe arrives just in time to pull Clawface off, killing him in the process. Graystripe says Bluestar also found bones and recognized Brokenstar's scent, and that she sent him to get Tigerclaw because she thought it was a trap.

Meanwhile, Fireheart sees Frostfur, Dustpaw, and Sandpaw fighting the rogue cats as he looks for Brokenstar. He hears a yowl from Yellowfang's den and rushes in, afraid for Cinderpaw, but sees that Yellowfang has seriously injured Brokenstar instead. Brokenstar loses a life, but not his last, and Fireheart asks why she doesn't finish him off. Yellowfang confesses that Brokenstar is actually her son, and that she loved his father Raggedstar.

LIZ: [gasps]

PAZ: Brokenstar doesn't know she's his mother. They all find out that Yellowfang has injured Brokenstar's eyes badly so that he is blind. Fireheart checks on Cinderpaw, who is fine, but wishes she could have helped in the battle, and she and Yellowfang start tending to Brokenstar. The rogue cats are chased off. Fireheart thanks Graystripe for saving his life and Graystripe tells him he'd give his life for Fireheart. Just bro things.

Bluestar returns. Fireheart explains everything to her, and she praises him. Tigerclaw is also back. Fireheart tells him what happened to Brokenstar, and Yellowfang says she will tend to him until he recovers. Almost everyone is skeptical, but she says it would be wrong to leave him to die or kill him, although she doesn't reveal that he is her son, and Bluestar agrees for now. She says Brokenstar is no longer a clan leader and renames him in a pretty unnecessary fashion. She renames him to Brokentail, I think.

JULIAN: Yep.

PAZ: Chapter 27. After the battle, Fireheart tells Bluestar how Dustpaw and Sandpaw defended the clan from the attack, and that they both deserve to be warriors and she agrees. Dustpaw is surprised, and Sandpaw says it's Fireheart's quick thinking that saved them. They decided to have the naming ceremony that day, and the two new warriors are then named Dustpelt and Sandstorm. Bluestar also thanks Fireheart for his courage. Fireheart says to Sandstorm he's glad they can eat together as warriors now, though is a bit disappointed that he can't eat alone with her.

He goes to bring something to Cinderpaw for dinner, since she wasn't at the naming ceremony. Brokentail is still unconscious. Cinderpaw is depressed, feeling she is a burden to the clan, and Fireheart doesn't even comfort or reassure her again for some reason.

LIZ: [grumbles]

PAZ: Yellowfang says Cinderpaw is a great help to her, though, and they both have a friendly exchange. Fireheart is a little envious of their relationship. It's snowing the next morning. Dustpelt and Sandpaw have returned from the midnight vigil and are asleep. Bluestar tells the rest of the clan that Brokentail will be staying.

She also tells Fireheart that she's worried about him and Graystripe not making up yet, and he and Graystripe should hang out (hunt). Fireheart is hopeful about the idea, but Graystripe is cold to him, accusing Fireheart of doubting his clan loyalty and only wanting to keep an eye on him. He says Fireheart just wants to please Bluestar. They go hunting anyway, and it's super awkward because of trust issues. When they return with freshkill, Brindleface tells Fireheart that Cloudkit and her other kids have gone missing.

Chapter 28, Fireheart tries to find Graystripe to help look for the kits, but can't find him. Sandstorm offers to help instead. It's difficult to track the kits in the blizzard, and Fireheart is worried. He and Sandstorm both decide to head back and get more help, but they notice the voices of the kits before doing so. They find all the kits but Cloudkit by a fallen tree, and one of the kits says he is hunting. Cloudkit shows up, carrying a little vole in his mouth. Fireheart and Sandstorm gather up all the kits and rush back to the camp.

Bluestar scolds the kits, but Cloudkit is defiant and says the clan needed food and that it was his idea. She says that while his intentions were good, he was foolish. Fireheart feels a mixture of pride and worry for Cloudkit because he is skilled but is reckless about the warrior code. Bluestar later tells Fireheart that he needs to teach Cloudkit to respect the warrior code. He agrees but resents the high expectations for such a young kit, and thinks of Graystripe, a clan born warrior who disobeys the code all the time. He also wonders if Cloudkit can really adjust to clan life.

Graystripe returns from hunting, but Fireheart can tell he went to see Silverstream. That night, Fireheart dreams about hunting with a grown up Cloudkit. Spottedleaf also shows up in a dream and warns Fireheart about a battle approaching and to beware of a warrior he can't trust. And that's the first chunk of chapters that we'll be discussing.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: Damn.

JULIAN: Chapter 26 especially was just like one thing after another. Like very good, but it's just the events start coming and they don't stop coming.

PAZ: Yeah, it has like the big soap opera reveal in the middle of it.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: Yeah, I mean like half of it's the battle, and then Yellowfang's big reveal.

JULIAN: Which is so good.

LIZ: It really is.

JULIAN: We love to see just a whole fucked up family situation. Very good.

LIZ: Just a mess.

PAZ: Graystripe wishes his forbidden romance had whatever's going on here.

LIZ: Graystripe, you're just dating someone from another high school.

JULIAN: You're no medicine cat in love with your own leader. And then blinding your son.

PAZ: Yeah, your son who doesn't know he's your son.

LIZ: Oh my god.

PAZ: Like I said, some real--

LIZ: I think it was-- yeah.

PAZ: Go ahead.

LIZ: Oh no, I think it's just kind of nicely seeded I think in our previous reading, where she said like she recognized like it was Brokenstar from bones and stuff. But um, I think it was mentioned that like, oh yeah, I was there for their kitting. And it's like, yeah, you sure were.

JULIAN: Oh boy.

LIZ: You were the main participant.

PAZ: Yeah, I think I feel like I remembered in Into the Wild there were some hints, too, although I'd have to go back and find them.

JULIAN: I think there's some like-- I mean, she obviously has really conflicted feelings about Brokenstar in Into the Wild. Which makes it even more fucked up that he kicked her out. She was his mom!

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: Um, but like, also, I think there's some stuff about her being kind of maternal or like, all the stuff with her and the kits, where she's like, kind of trying to hang out around the kit den, and the queens are really upset about it. And she's like, oh, I get it.

PAZ: Just a nice two book build up.

JULIAN: I love Yellowfang.

PAZ: Me too.

LIZ: She's so good.

PAZ: Also, her being like, this is like divine punishment...

JULIAN: Oof.

PAZ: Very, very, like, it sucks but also very cool. I don't know. Although, I don't know about that, Yellowfang.

LIZ: Yeah, that's... just, I guess we're kind of going back to the ableism from the-- I mean, from the whole series, but also, specifically from the previous reading, uh. It's like--

PAZ: Oh, I wasn't talking about Brokenstar there. I was just talking about her having a fucked up family situation.

LIZ: Oh, okay, sorry.

PAZ: Now she's like, this is what I get. But yeah.

JULIAN: I think her line exactly is like, "my punishment wasn't that like my other two kits died. It was that this one survived." And it's like, oh, geez.

LIZ: Yeah, that's fucked up.

PAZ: StarClan said you can have a real sicko of a child.

JULIAN: StarClan gave you a real Megaboneclan son.

PAZ: Oh God, right. Yeah, but yeah, Liz, the ableism stuff does come back up, if you wanna--

LIZ: That line... it can be-- That line is like very-- I don't want to say... I don't know. I would appreciate it a lot more for the drama of your evil son, your Megaboneclan evil son, if it wasn't for like, right, immediately, like next to this, how they talk so much about like, oh, now he's blind. He can't do anything.

PAZ: I didn't read that line as referring to that. Although--

LIZ: No, no. I don't think that was intentional.

PAZ: The descriptions around his blindness are like, still not great because it's like, oh, he can't do anything now, but I think that line more refers to his actions as a cat person.

LIZ: Yeah, yeah, for sure.

PAZ: Than what has happened.

LIZ: Yeah, it's just--

JULIAN: Yeah, I do wish that like-- oh, go ahead.

LIZ: No, it's just unfortunate that those things are right next to each other. It's like, bad timing, I feel.

JULIAN: I wish that like, I mean, Warrior Cats bingo. I wish that the blindness was handled differently because it's like oh, he's completely not a threat. We can just keep him around and he'll be totally fine. And it's like his vision was not what made him a threat.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Like he was a threat because he was extremely persuasive and like, very good at getting people to go along with him. And nothing's happened to that.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Yeah. And he still has a bunch of lives, so.

JULIAN: Yeah, I did think-- like when the kits disappear, my immediate-- I had forgotten what happened. And my immediate thought was Brokenstar?

PAZ: Yeah, same.

JULIAN: That he had lured them away or something. Which I personally think would have been a good plot point.

LIZ: Would have been a good plot point. I think if that happened, though, we would have been like, okay, I guess we have an-- you made an evil disabled cat kidnap the kits.

JULIAN: Oh, that is bad. Yeah.

PAZ: You can't win either way in Warriors, I guess.

LIZ: Nn.

JULIAN: You're either Cinderpaw and you're sort of a de facto medicine cat and also a burden on the clan. Or you're Brokentail.

PAZ: Yeah, speaking of ableism, there's more bad convos with Cinderpaw.

JULIAN: Ugh.

PAZ: Where she straight up says like, oh, I feel like a burden on the clan. And then Fireheart doesn't really like disagree. Like what the hell?

LIZ: He's interrupted, right? Because Yellowfang starts talking about like oh, actually, you're a great assistant. But you didn't have to write it that way.

JULIAN: Yeah. I also just like... no one talks about the elders or like the queens or like other people who don't hunt for themselves like being burdens on the clan.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: Right?

JULIAN: I don't... where is this coming fr-- I mean, I know where it's coming from. It's coming from the authors. But like it just doesn't make sense with like the way that the cat society has been set up.

PAZ: Absolutely. It's just like a very deeply communal society, and like it is about supporting everyone in the clan. So like you said, the elders don't hunt. So yeah, it just doesn't make sense at all.

LIZ: Yeah. I guess like if you wanted to, I don't think that Warriors Cats currently in this book or possibly later wants to have that conversation necessarily. But if you wanted to, I think it would be pretty easy to have like one clan be more-- like, to be better at this sort of accommodation, and have like-- just for like that black and white kid metaphor, to have like the evil clan be not as good at it, you know?

PAZ: Well, apparently WindClan is doing fine on that front, but it's not portrayed like ThunderClan is deeply ableist, so.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: So it just comes off as a weird like incoherent plot point, when you can have like, one disabled cat in one clan like in a high ranking authority position, and then in another clan, apparently not. And like, for no reason given.

LIZ: WindClan's fine. They're just like, hey, what's up? What the fuck is up with everyone else?

PAZ: Yeah, we'll talk more about that later. WindClan really needs to like, move and then stop dealing with all this bullshit. And then there's that weird renaming thing too.

JULIAN: Yeah. Nothing's wrong with-- is something wrong with his tail?

PAZ: I don't know.

LIZ: No, I don't think so.

PAZ: I was like, was that-- I couldn't tell if that used to be his name. And she's just like, you going back to that name. Or, I don't know.

JULIAN: Oh, Brokentail was his original warrior name.

PAZ: Yeah, that's what I read it as.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: But once again, weird names.

LIZ: I think it's just because like, oh, someone else is reverting it for him, not...

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Oh.

LIZ: It's not even really like, yeah.

JULIAN: Jesus. Yellowfang named him, A.

LIZ: Yellowfang!

JULIAN: Like she named him Brokenkit.

PAZ: Oh no.

LIZ: Why?

JULIAN: "After the bend in his tail as well as the feeling Yellowfang felt in her heart at the time of his birth."

PAZ: Oh my god. Damn.

LIZ: Fucking, move over, Lan Wangji.

[everyone cackling]

PAZ: [muffled] Ohhh. I probably just blew out the audio so much.

JULIAN: I also did. Oh no.

PAZ: A little joke for our Untamed fans out there.

LIZ: Untamed didn't know shit.

PAZ: Untamed wants what Warriors has.

LIZ: Why not just call him like--

PAZ: Mistakekit.

LIZ: Bendytail or something-- no! Just Wiggletail or something. Wavetail.

PAZ: Wiggletail, that's great.

JULIAN: Aw.

PAZ: Also, it's beginning to thunderstorm pretty hard here. Hopefully I don't lose power but--

JULIAN: Oh no.

PAZ: Heads up.

LIZ: It's ThunderClan. They're coming.

JULIAN: Well, I guess that's what we got Craig for.

PAZ: Yeah, hopefully Craig works. Fingers crossed.

JULIAN: In non-Brokenstar related news, the bit about where Graystripe saves Fireheart, and then is like, I would give my life for you, is so romantic?

PAZ: Right? It just came out of nowhere.

LIZ: It's so good.

PAZ: It was deeply romantic.

LIZ: It's just, it's such a good moment. And then, ugh.

JULIAN: It's such a good moment, and then Graystripe fucks up again in the very next chapter.

PAZ: Yeah, he had one moment of being decent, and then he's back to being a fool.

LIZ: Yeah. I do like seeing that push-pull of conflict there, because that's, you know, that's the whole crux of Fireheart being unsure. And I mean, it also makes Graystripe feel like, oh yeah, this is the friend that will die for me. But is he gonna pick me up from the airport? No.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like in the moment, yeah, he is like on top of it, but then when Fireheart confronts him later, he gets all like, pissy and evasive again.

JULIAN: Fireheart doesn't even confront him. He's just like hey, do you want to go hunting? And Graystripe is like, are you making sure I don't disappear again? And just like, and then Graystripe tries to play like he would have saved any clan cat's life, and he also would have told any clan cat that he would die for them.

PAZ: No biggie.

LIZ: Uh-huh, sure.

PAZ: Just clan things.

LIZ: Just clan things.

JULIAN: Sort out your shit, Graystripe

LIZ: I mean, also has-- there has to be someone out there who's written the like Fireheart like 500 word thing where he's wondering like, mm, why do I care so much about my best friend dating someone else? Clan loyalty aside. Wow, him being mean to me sure is very, very, very, very effective to me. Just bro things.

JULIAN: Just bro things.

LIZ: Just bro things.

PAZ: Yeah, don't worry about it.

LIZ: I don't care, except I do, a lot.

[rain clattering]

JULIAN: I am pulling up--

PAZ: It is storming.

JULIAN: Warrior Cats, the, um.

PAZ: What are you pulling up? Should I wait?

JULIAN: I'm pulling up Archive of--

PAZ: Oh yes.

JULIAN: I'm pulling up Ao3. Don't worry.

PAZ: No, I will wait to hear the statistics.

JULIAN: Oh, what did I-- I did this... How did I do this wrong?

PAZ: This is like a summer thunderstorm. So it'll probably be over in like half an hour. But I hope in that half an hour I don't lose power.

LIZ: Wild. Oh no.

JULIAN: What? There's only five fics?

PAZ: That can't be right.

LIZ: What?!

PAZ: No.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: There's more Fireheart/Onewhisker than there is Fireheart/Graystripe.

PAZ: Did you just type the tag wrong? I refuse to believe that. I see so much fanart.

LIZ: Okay, I have a lot of respect for the former, but the latter just has the privilege of much more screentime.

JULIAN: Oh, I did it wrong. I did it wrong.

PAZ: Yeah. Okay. I'm like no, this is way more popular than that. There's AMVs for it. Look, listen.

JULIAN: Yeah, we've got 32.

PAZ: That's, you know. I feel like a lot of Warriors fic is-- was on fanfic.net, so.

JULIAN: Right. I also feel like a lot of people are writing like for canonical ships with Graystripe specifically, and also Fireheart, but.

PAZ: Yeah, but I know it is a popular pairing. For good reason.

LIZ: How many? How many are there with the correct tag?

JULIAN: There's only 32.

LIZ: That's a pretty decent amount for something that's probably not mainly on Ao3, and at this point pretty old. I don't know, what's not to love? You have friends to enemies to friends?

JULIAN: I mean, again, though, there are 25 Fireheart/Onewhisker fics.

PAZ: Listen, we got to ring the Fireheart/Onewhisker alarm bells again, because it comes up.

JULIAN: It really does.

PAZ: I think people are onto something, I'm just saying.

LIZ: Yeah, listen.

PAZ: But we'll get to that.

LIZ: We're putting a pin in that for later in the episode.

PAZ: Yes, but our--

JULIAN: I did like-- we're skipping around a little bit, or I'm skipping around a little bit. I did think that the discussion that the clan has about whether to keep Brokentail around is like... I thought that was interesting, even if there is some ableism in the way that they're like oh, he's not a threat anymore. But particularly in terms of like Fireheart feeling conflicted about how much he wants Brokentail to just be dead.

PAZ: And like the reason he stays is this like morality thing of like sending him off to die-- because apparently that's what happens if you're blind. Thanks Warriors-- in the forest is like.

LIZ: Not like there's-- oh my god.

PAZ: Yeah, but it's--

LIZ: It's not like there's no blind animals, or anything.

PAZ: I know. It's stupid.

LIZ: Ugh.

PAZ: But yeah, yeah, it's an interesting display of clan conflict management internally. I do want to note, it almost felt like Brokentail in the camp was less contentious than keeping Cloudkit, which is very funny to me.

JULIAN: God. No, you're right. It was less contentious.

PAZ: Right? There's no reason that keeping a dangerous ex-leader should be solved quicker than deciding to keep a small fluffy kitten.

JULIAN: Yeah.

LIZ: A kitten who's like--

JULIAN: Kittens eat less, for one thing.

LIZ: A kitten from, what they consider like the most least threatening place possible, which is like a pet, right? It's like do we keep this pet, who is a baby, or a war criminal?

PAZ: Yeah, there were like multiple people being like, saying like, we need to throw this child out into the woods to die. And it was like--

LIZ: We need to Victorian style expose this child.

PAZ: And there was only one quickly solved objection to keeping Brokentail.

JULIAN: God.

PAZ: On that topic, I also want to note that everyone was being like, Cloudkit's stupid because he has white fur in the previous set of readings. And then in this reading, it talks about how Frostfur has white fur. I was like, what is going on?

LIZ: Wait, so, so while they were saying that, do we just not see Frostfur being like, oh, I see how it is. Fucking bitches. Fucking babysit your own kids then.

PAZ: I feel like in this set of readings it points out her white fur like twice.

JULIAN: Like that's why she's named that.

LIZ: Yeah. She's not called Treefur. It's Frostfur.

PAZ: Oh my God.

JULIAN: God.

LIZ: They are cats. It's the limited object permanence thing. They're gonna talk shit, and they're gonna turn around and be like, oh, Frostfur, I'm so sorry. I do not mean you. Nothing but respect for-- nothing but respect for my queens.

JULIAN: Oh.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: Well, I mean, in the next chapter, we do discover that Cloudkit is in fact very good at being a warrior.

PAZ: Yes, I love Cloudkit. He's so cute.

LIZ: He's just a little baby.

PAZ: And he makes bad little kid decisions, which is just cuter.

JULIAN: Yeah, he just wants to be a good part of the clan.

PAZ: I know.

LIZ: He's like, I will go grocery shopping in a blizzard.

JULIAN: Cloudkit coming back with two onions and a potato.

LIZ: Listen, that's like, what? Two latkes. I don't know. That's a lot of onion though. Two really big ones, onion heavy.

JULIAN: I do have a note about that this is what cat racism does. Because I do wonder like, obviously Cloudkit is like, his desire to like, prove himself is very cute. But I also wonder how much of it is him being like, well, if everyone's gonna say that I'm like, not fit to be a warrior, because I know they-- like he can hear them. How much of this is like him trying to prove that he can help provide for the clan?

PAZ: Yeah, I definitely think that's what's happening.

LIZ: Which is also sad.

JULIAN: Yeah, he's just a baby.

PAZ: Apparently, his siblings like him enough to go out into the blizzard with him, though, so there's that.

LIZ: I don't know how, like, their relationship is gonna turn out, or even if it's gonna be explored very much. But I do like the idea of like, here's my extremely extroverted sibling who at the age of baby just hunted a whole animal. And like the other siblings just like, oh, we're introverts or whatever.

JULIAN: Yeah, isn't he like four weeks old or something at this point?

PAZ: It's something like that. Maybe six weeks, I don't know.

LIZ: Just imagine the shape of this, the shape of this small baby.

PAZ: He's too small. I can't protect him.

JULIAN: And like I understand why Bluestar is very pissed, because it is bad if your kits wander out, um, but also like her being like, oh, it's against the warrior code. It's like where?

PAZ: Yeah, what? Where?

LIZ: They're babies. I don't think they know yet.

JULIAN: Point it out to me. Like, at what age are kits responsible for knowing the warrior code?

PAZ: Yeah, how--

JULIAN: Do they go to school?

PAZ: Do they?

LIZ: Are you teaching them ethics? They don't get any teachers besides basically PE coaches by the age of like 12.

PAZ: Yeah, I feel like you learn the warrior code when you're an apprentice.

JULIAN: Like are the queens supposed to be teaching them this in the nursery?

LIZ: The queens have degrees in ethics. They are teaching them right now. You just don't see it.

PAZ: Is this like child labor laws in the warrior code?

JULIAN: Kits cannot work in the mills.

LIZ: I don't care how tiny your beans are.

PAZ: Your paws may be able to reach between these-- I don't know-- twigs, but not allowed.

JULIAN: I just like, this isn't like-- not to make another Untamed reference-- but this isn't like, the warrior code is not like the fucking Lan clan rules that are up on a rock for everyone to look at.

PAZ: Maybe they are. It just hasn't mentioned it.

LIZ: It just seems like--

JULIAN: The cats have been able to read and write this whole time.

LIZ: They just don't want to cause they're all stupid jocks. But yeah, it just seems to be a general consensus thing that when you-- like if you break them and you're an adult, you get attacked. You get in a fight.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't even know.

LIZ: I don't know how much like, do they get like trials? I don't think? I don't remember.

PAZ: I have no fucking idea.

JULIAN: It's also interesting that like Fireheart is specifically like, oh, Graystripe broke the warrior code and like you didn't say shit about him.

PAZ: Yes, I love that line.

JULIAN: Which is very good. But also like he doesn't mention Yellowfang, who definitely broke the warrior code.

LIZ: Well, Fireheart respects girlbosses.

PAZ: She did that a long time ago.

JULIAN: Yeah, that's true.

PAZ: Yeah. But I want to read that sentence because it was really good. "Fireheart swallowed a pang of resentment as he thought of how shamelessly Graystripe, a clanborn cat, was disobeying the warrior code." Get his ass.

JULIAN: Shameless. Graystripe, you hussy.

LIZ: It's also a good little like, like that expression of actual anger against Bluestar for once, it's a good like-- it's a pretty clear way of showing that like, oh wow, it sucks to get like microaggressed. No?

PAZ: Yeah, and the fact that it's not just Fireheart being constantly microaggressed now too. It's like someone he cares about also going through it, I think is definitely--

LIZ: Who's a baby.

JULIAN: Who's a baby! Sorry, I do have a note about, are kittypets the model minority?

LIZ: Oh God.

JULIAN: Which is half a joke and half a like, you know, it does seem like they have to work twice as hard. Or like it's setting that up.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't remember what happens with Cloudkit's arc but if I-- I mean, I don't know because I never read it. But if I had to guess, it's probably gonna be that

JULIAN: Yeah, I super unfortunately do not remember and also did not register it when I read these books at age like 8, 11, somewhere in there, but.

LIZ: Well, I have the gift of prophecy as we know from the finale of our last book, so I'm gonna say that Cloudkit grows up to be like Cloudclaw.

PAZ: Whoa.

LIZ: Very fierce. Yeah. And he's like love some of you guys, hate the rest of you guys because you're extremely xenophobic. I'm out because I am an adult now. Going to found my own clan called Megaboneclan, only if you're hardcore. And not gonna be xenophobic to everyone. Can you come in? Yep, peace. I'm out. Uncle Fireheart, I'll FaceTime you later. Okay, bye.

PAZ: Okay, well, can't wait for that arc.

JULIAN: Perfect.

PAZ: I guess in conjunction with the Cloudkit stuff is like the scenes Fireheart gets with Sandstorm, which are good. I do love and also like, holy shit that it had to take Fireheart straight up saying to Bluestar, like, they should really be like warriors now for that to happen.

JULIAN: Yeah, Bluestar, do your job.

LIZ: I wondered if like how long it was taking was actually like going to be a plot point. But it just seems to be like oh, she's been busy.

JULIAN: Yeah, I kind of thought that it would end up being a plot point.

PAZ: Yeah, but what--

JULIAN: And I don't know if we'll like hear more about it later.

PAZ: What I know that I thought it could be a plot point in conjunction with hasn't really happened yet. So I don't know. But do you think if Fireheart hadn't said anything they would have been apprentices for another like three months?

LIZ: Oh my god. Sucks. Probably like another few days until the next battle happens, right?

PAZ: I don't even know.

JULIAN: Right? The pace of battles in this book is pretty high.

PAZ: Yeah, this book has way more battles. For sure.

JULIAN: Living up to my mom's nickname of Catfight, the series.

PAZ: I guess it makes sense though. Because now Fireheart is like a warrior and...

JULIAN: Right.

PAZ: Going into battle.

LIZ: I'm just, there's so many of them happening. Just imagine the noise of this book like if it was a movie. It would just be like, you know, when you hear cats fight in the alley at night, but like times 100.

JULIAN: Imagining that in surround sound. Incredible.

LIZ: 3D.

PAZ: I just keep thinking about how Harper Collins said no-- or like some of the mods said no violence on the official forums. Like, have you read the book?

JULIAN: Book two we get like, spine biting.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: Yeah. Graystripe finally kills someone. Like--

LIZ: On purpose?

PAZ: --I guess, on purpose directly. He has a high body count prior, as we know, but yeah, I guess he's killed someone before Fireheart has now, like in battle.

JULIAN: Yeah, has Fireheart actually killed anyone?

PAZ: No, I don't think so.

LIZ: I don't think so. He gets close a lot of times. And I'm getting some--

JULIAN: Right, his morals.

LIZ: Yeah, we're getting some conflicts about how like, it's like part of the warrior code is, you know, non lethal damage, apparently.

PAZ: But then no one cares that-- I don't even know. I don't know, because nobody really cares, like Graystripe killed Clawface or whatever. But I guess they were also rogues.

LIZ: Yeah, I don't know.

JULIAN: Is it like, you're only supposed to do non lethal damage to another clan cat?

PAZ: Geez. The implications of that.

LIZ: Interesting.

JULIAN: I'm so iffy on like, what the warrior code says, and also like, what the code of ethics in battle specifically is because like, there was that whole big deal in book one about how bad it was that like that like Redtail killed Oakheart or whatever. And then, in book two it's just like, yeah, you can kill whoever the fuck you want.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't. I have no idea.

JULIAN: I do wonder a little bit if there's anything thematic with the kind of breakdown, I guess, of the warrior code. Because it's like, also definitely against the warrior code to-- which we'll talk about more when we talk about like chapters 29 and 30. But like, definitely against the warrior code to team up with another clan and like attack people.

LIZ: Yeah, I feel like it could be leading up to that. And probably like in a future thing, like the younger generation could be like, this part of the warrior code sucks. We need to reform it and not really question it beyond that.

PAZ: Yeah, I have no idea.

LIZ: Yep, no idea.

PAZ: But that would make sense if it leads up to something like that.

LIZ: Um.

PAZ: Oh, go ahead.

LIZ: No, just wondering where we should go from here, if we're--

PAZ: I have the--

LIZ: If we've covered everything?

PAZ: The last thing is that the Spottedleaf stuff comes back very suddenly.

LIZ: Oh, yeah. Oh my god.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really out of nowhere.

PAZ: I like legit forgot about her.

LIZ: Yeah, cause it's been like a whole book.

JULIAN: It's been a book and like, Fireheart hasn't thought about her once.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Like, I get he's been busy. He's had a lot on his mind. But like, for it to be like, oh, and here she is, like, helping him in battle and appearing to him in a dream. And it's like, yeah, hey, you could have like, dropped a hint about this earlier in the book.

LIZ: Absolutely.

JULIAN: Like maybe he feels a little sad to go to the medicine cat den to see Cinderpaw and be like, yeah, I love Yellowfang but damn, I miss Spottedleaf. You know, just a little something something.

LIZ: Yeah. And without that, it just ends up being really clumsy and not almost funny. Very funny.

PAZ: Very funny, too, because she's described like in a weird...

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: This is the sexy she-cat way.

LIZ: No one else gets treated like this.

PAZ: It's like her sweet scent, her soft pink nose. Like what is going on?

JULIAN: Not even Sandstorm, who's definitely getting the romance, like lead up is getting this kind of treatment. And it's like, what's happening?

PAZ: Yeah. It's so funny because it's literally only with her.

JULIAN: This is where I do admit that like me in fourth and fifth grade had a big old crush on Spottedleaf.

PAZ: I can't blame you.

JULIAN: And now I'm reading this book, and I'm like--

LIZ: It was shaped by that. This was written--

JULIAN: --where was this? Like, where did this come from?

PAZ: It's so weird. I don't know if they were like, we're just gonna be consistent with the writing from the first book.

LIZ: You didn't need to be. It's been a book. We wouldn't have remembered. I don't think you need to be able--

JULIAN: Well, it's also--

LIZ: No, go ahead.

JULIAN: Go ahead.

LIZ: No, if she's like a spirit, you don't have to smell her. I don't know.

PAZ: How are we supposed to know she's hot otherwise, Liz?

LIZ: Just talk about her like spots. That's what her name is. Her beautiful spots that remind me of a leaf.

JULIAN: It's also so weird that like all of this stuff, like all of their interactions, like the way that they like touch or whatever is like weirdly sensual, but like the rest of the cats are like, you know, licking and like... in like very nonsensual ways. Like when Sandstorm and Dustpelt become warriors, they lick Bluestar, and it's totally normal. It's treated as completely normal.

LIZ: Yeah, cause it's cat stuff.

JULIAN: Cause that's what cats do. But suddenly, when Spottedleaf is doing the licking, it's like ooooooh.

PAZ: I'm not even angry about it because it's hilarious.

LIZ: God, and we did mention Sandstorm being set up for the romantic interest thing. And it's like, putting those these side by side, there's such a comical difference. She's just like a normal person. She doesn't have a weird smell. I don't even know if we have a flattering description of her that isn't just normal.

PAZ: I mean, like the flattering descriptions of her are like she's really good at fighting.

LIZ: Yeah, and it's like that's nice. Like for a kids romance? Yeah. Kids book romance. Talk about how cool she is instead of what she smells like. What does she smell like? She's a cat.

PAZ: They're really struggling how to write this cat romance. Even though I think they figured it out with Sandstorm. I don't know why...

JULIAN: Well, you know, she smells like pine, mouse, and something uniquely Sandstorm.

PAZ: You mean Spottedleaf? Or wait.

JULIAN: Or Spottedleaf.

LIZ: God.

PAZ: So fucking funny. That's my new Etsy soap scent.

LIZ: Oh, I'm sorry. We have to take a break for a second for a very crucial search.

PAZ: Oh god.

JULIAN: Oh, I wonder if there are any-- while you do your search, I'm going to do mine.

LIZ: Well, it's a-- oh no. It's just soap shaped like cats.

PAZ: Damn.

JULIAN: Damn.

LIZ: I'm so disappointed.

JULIAN: I wanted to look to see if there were any Warrior Cats teas.

LIZ: Oh you're so right.

JULIAN: On that tea site that does the fandom teas. And great news, there are.

PAZ: Oh thank god.

LIZ: [claps] Yes.

JULIAN: They spelled Graystripe's name wrong, though.

LIZ: Is there a dash in between? Maybe it's a character development thing.

JULIAN: Oh, what's Bluestar's tea? Snowbud, white peony, and white blueberry, accented with coconut. That sounds bad.

PAZ: I don't know much about tea. But yeah.

LIZ: When have these British cats ever fucking even seen a coconut?

JULIAN: Oh, here's Ravenpaw, "a calming blend in honor of a nervous apprentice. Includes caramel, decaf vanilla, and mocha nut mate, accented with cocoa nibs."

LIZ: Decaf vanilla.

PAZ: That sounds okay. I think that's it for the first chunk.

JULIAN: Yep.

LIZ: I think so.

PAZ: Okay, well, I will go on to the summaries for the last two chapters. Okay, Chapter 29. The next day, Fireheart can't stop thinking about Spottedleaf's warning and her unique scent and Graystripe's loyalty. The snow has stopped. But Onewhisker from WindClan runs into the camp begging for help because RiverClan and ThunderClan are attacking WindClan.

LIZ: Oh.

PAZ: Bluestar gathers--

LIZ: Sorry, typo on my part. It's ShadowClan.

PAZ: Fuck. Yeah, okay. The snow has stopped, but Onewhisker from WindClan runs into the camp begging for help because RiverClan and ShadowClan are attacking WindClan. Bluestar gathers the clan and says they must help. There is little protest, but Tigerclaw steps in and says he agrees with Bluestar because ShadowClan and RiverClan might attack ThunderClan next. Yellowfang says Bluestar should remain at camp because of her health and Firestar-- bleagh. Fireheart knows it's also because of her last life.

Bluestar tells Tigerclaw to lead the attack parties. Whitestorm takes one party and Tigerclaw gathers warriors for the other, including Fireheart and Onewhisker. You know. Graystripe is with the other party, and Fireheart knows he'll have to choose sides now.

Soon after they leave, Willowpelt says they're being followed, but it turns out to be Cloudkit and Brindleface's kits again. Tigerclaw tests Fireheart's loyalty and says to deal with it, and Fireheart just asks Brackenpaw to take the kits home. Cloudkit protests, but Fireheart promises they'll fight together someday, ignoring the other warriors. Tigerclaw tells Fireheart to lead them to WindClan since he knows the way, and since he probably doesn't trust Onewhisker. Graystripe also knows the way but is too miserable to help. They arrive at the camp, where the battle is already taking place.

Chapter 30. At the battle, WindClan is totally outnumbered by ShadowClan and RiverClan. ThunderClan attacks and more enemy parties show up. As Fireheart battles a RiverClan cat, Onewhisker ends up finishing the fight for him. Fireheart in a totally normal bro way notices the fire in Onewhisker's eyes. In the middle of the battle, Fireheart sees a RiverClan cat about to attack Graystripe and wonders if he'll fight back. But he attacks a ShadowClan cat instead.

Tigerclaw calls out for Fireheart, who tries to get to him, but is attacked by a RiverClan cat, Leopardfur, who is RiverClan's deputy, who he'd met at the gorge where Whiteclaw died. Fireheart calls out to Tigerclaw for help, but he just watches. Fireheart is so angry that he can flip Leopardfur off. He and Tigerclaw give each other the stink eye before returning the battle.

While Fireheart fights a RiverClan cat, he is attacked by Silverstream. As she is about to claw him, Graystripe's voice stops her. Fireheart instinctively attacks when she backs down, but sees Graystripe watching and can't bring himself to hurt Silverstream. She slips away, and Fireheart sees Darkstripe watching him. ShadowClan is eventually driven off, leaving RiverClan alone Fireheart sees Tigerclaw tackle the ShadowClan leader, Crookedstar, going for his neck. He doesn't kill Crookedstar, but ends the battle, and they flee.

Fireheart wonders briefly about Spottedleaf's prophecy about how fire will save the clan. He also thinks about Spottedleaf's warning about warriors he can't trust and finally realizes that that meant Tigerclaw, the guy who loves murder and he knows did at least one murder, and not Graystripe. Tigerclaw confronts Fireheart about letting Silverstream escape, and Fireheart asks if he wanted him to kill her. Tigerclaw also makes insinuations about Graystripe's loyalty, and they both see him return, presumably from checking on Silverstream. When he leaves, Graystripe and Fireheart finally talk about his conflicted feelings, and Fireheart promises he will always be Graystripe's friend. And that is the end of the book.

LIZ: My god.

JULIAN: Action-packed chapters.

PAZ: So much happens. Man, WindClan is literally just minding their own business.

LIZ: It feels like WindClan is like 10 people, and they're just like oh God. Should we move back?

PAZ: Leave them alone. I'm like extra defensive of them because they're my favorite clan, but like what?

JULIAN: Literally, they're just vibing.

PAZ: Yeah, at the gathering, Tallstar was like, y'all are freaks. We're leaving, bye.

LIZ: Do you think they went in going like, Gee, I wonder what everyone else is doing? It sure is great that we solve that whole clan being driven out thing. Let's go see our good friends who helped us. Oh, okay. Mm.

JULIAN: I also don't understand like, just from setting aside morals, as we do in the Warrior Cats books. And from a purely like, you know, political/logistical perspective, why would they go after WindClan who has like two rabbits and not ThunderClan?

PAZ: I have no idea. I assume in the next book we'll find out why the fuck they did that, but.

JULIAN: Like I guess it is like, they're easier targets, but like, it just doesn't seem worth it.

PAZ: Yeah, I think on the way to WindClan's camp, Fireheart notes like there is fucking nothing here.

JULIAN: Like their camp is like a slight hollow in the moor. It's a bunch of gorse.

LIZ: And that's an improvement from the sewer.

JULIAN: Like this is not going to solve RiverClan's food problem.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: No, they can't even catch the rabbits, as we learned in the beginning of the book.

JULIAN: It is very-- the Fireheart/Onewhisker content in these chapters is extremely good

PAZ: It's real. I was doubting it when it first came up from whatever we were searching that.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I thought it was kind of a crack ship.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: But no, I'm on board.

PAZ: I'm on board too.

LIZ: If their clans keep consorting, you never know. Maybe in book 3, the political marriage of convenience will be real.

PAZ: Yeah, can't rule it out.

LIZ: Yeah. No.

JULIAN: Like, they're battle husbands.

PAZ: Yeah, I can't remember. Did Onewhisker jump in to get a cat off Fireheart or help him or something?

LIZ: Yeah, yeah. I also didn't put it in the summary. But there's a part where like, I think Tigerclaw is asking, like, what Onewhisker's name is, and Onewhisker is so intimidated that Fireheart just does it for him.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's really good.

PAZ: It's good. I hope we keep seeing content for them. I feel like I remember vaguely the Onewhisker arc. Can't be sure though.

JULIAN: Yeah. My note for the beginning of chapter 29 is just, Fireheart, go help your boyfriend. It is interesting. Like, Tigerclaw is right for once, even if it's just because he wants to fight and kill. So it does make him slightly more complex as a villain that he's like--

PAZ: I feel like he's been right a lot. Multiple times in this book.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, you're right.

LIZ: It's so interesting to me because for a lot of the times, Fireheart is agreeing with him.

PAZ: Yeah. And it kind of almost points it out or, like, comes back to it in this chapter about how like, it has made Fireheart forget that like, wait, he's a horrible murderer. But Fireheart remembers that when Tigerclaw tries to murder him. Got a little refresher.

LIZ: That's all it took.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw at it again.

PAZ: Tigerclaw, he really tries to murder indirectly so much. His success rate is not great. But God, is he trying.

LIZ: A for effort.

JULIAN: Um, like a little bit before that, we do get some kind of setting up their conflict when Tigerclaw is like shitty to Fireheart about Cloudkit trying to follow them out. Like, when Fireheart has Brackenpaw send Cloudkit and the other kits back, Tigerclaw is like, "Oh, I didn't think you'd be so keen to fight this battle." And it's like, why would he not? He likes WindClan. But then the-- "Fireheart stared at Tigerclaw and felt the blood pulse through him so his whole body throbbed with rage. 'If only you were keen too,' he retorted, 'you'd give the battle cry instead of keeping us here while WindClan warriors die.'"

LIZ: Get him.

JULIAN: Like right in front of everybody.

PAZ: Yeah, that was a really good scene.

LIZ: Very cathartic.

PAZ: Yeah, I do love Fireheart like, standing up to him.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's good. I do wonder if Tigerclaw would have been so eager to let him die if he hadn't.

PAZ: I feel like Tigerclaw's consistently not liked him, though. So.

JULIAN: That's true.

PAZ: And also I think Tigerclaw's pretty sure like Fireheart knows or something.

JULIAN: Right, I forgot about the whole Ravenpaw situation.

LIZ: He's also made a lot of like insinuations about Fireheart's loyalty specifically when RiverClan comes up, and I wonder if there's like, if he thinks something else about what happened there, or if he's mistaking, like, I don't know, Fireheart for being like the spy or something that RiverClan talked about. Cause he's like--

PAZ: I feel like he knows it's Graystripe, though.

LIZ: Yeah, like by the end, I think that's it, but I don't know. Maybe it's just like, themes.

JULIAN: Yeah, definitely. He's definitely like making a lot of insinuations. He loves-- he loves to do murder and he loves to insinuate.

LIZ: It's very fun to read.

PAZ: Yeah, I'm excited for that conflict to continue. Tigerclaw is such a good fun villain.

LIZ: Yeah, I can't believe they didn't get him, though. By the end of this book.

JULIAN: I know. The moment, where like, he's just standing there watching Fireheart get like his belly clawed is so good.

LIZ: Yeah, it's a great, like, the way the scene is written is really good.

JULIAN: Like, in general, the battle scenes are like, you know, very well written. I understand why all of the RPs were like 90% battle scenes by volume.

LIZ: They're very good action scenes.

JULIAN: Yeah, which is hard to write.

LIZ: Yeah, they're cut, like, cut through with like these, I guess bullet time like, personal character conflicts that like really give it a little extra flavor, so it's not like a slog. It's like, so much stuff is happening now. I have to deal with this? Oh, boy. In a good way.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, they do a good job of making the fight scenes also deal with like character's emotional arcs.

PAZ: Yeah, it's like the fight scenes are used to, like drive the personal plots forward, I feel like. Gotta say, though, Fireheart taking Spottedleaf's warning to be not clearly about Tigerclaw. I was like, Oh my god.

LIZ: Oh my God.

JULIAN: I mean, I gotta say, I wasn't sure it was about Tigerclaw because I had also been lulled into a false sense of security by Tigerclaw being mostly normal.

PAZ: Oh, I was like--

JULIAN: Throughout this book.

PAZ: I was like, it's fucking Tigerclaw.

JULIAN: I thought it might be Onewhisker like for a little bit.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: Because there's a portion in the book where like Tigerclaw seems to doubt that Onewhisker will lead them to the camp. And I was like, Oh shit, is it a trap?

PAZ: I have no doubt about Onewhisker.

JULIAN: I doubted him.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: That would have been very tasty, though. Just like, my good friend, who I saved, who seems to be an upstanding young gentleman? Oh, the betrayal. What are these conflicted feelings I have? I won't think about them. Except I will.

PAZ: No, I also was just like I didn't suspect it because I'm like WindClan is just staying in their lane. Like, why would they fake this?

LIZ: If we want to go full AU, it could be like oh, WindClan was like, had their hand forced, and now all the three clans, two willingly, are converging on ThunderClan. But that's-- I don't know. That's just, it's not as interesting to me.

PAZ: No.

JULIAN: Yeah, no, I was fully as dumb as Fireheart, despite having read this book before.

PAZ: Okay, Fireheart gets a pass, then.

LIZ: Fireheart speaks to a certain little dumb cell in all our brains at some point. That's why he's so relatable. And also, it's like you said, Tigerclaw is being so normal throughout most of the book. He did just become mean teacher again, instead of like, evil war criminal.

JULIAN: He was saving it up for the last two chapters.

LIZ: It's his ult.

PAZ: Gotta press Q for Tigerclaw.

LIZ: Press Q for war crime.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

JULIAN: The bit with like Silverstream and Graystripe is, you know, there it is.

PAZ: Yeah, Graystripe sure is gonna keep causing problems, huh?

LIZ: Mm-hmm. It's like, I'm not mad that it's happening, but we haven't seen anything of them. So it's just like a plot point rather than any investment, which is kind of what it's for, I guess.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't think we're like, we're not supposed to sympathize with Graystripe. So probably why it's not super shown.

LIZ: No.

PAZ: I mean, like, not completely sympathize.

JULIAN: We're not supposed to. That doesn't stop like most of the fandom.

PAZ: Oh no.

JULIAN: At least like what I-- I'm sure that there were like, opposing camps. But what I saw of it was very much like Graystripe did nothing wrong.

PAZ: Well, I'm here to say in 2021, Graystripe did a lot of things wrong.

JULIAN: Because we were all 12 and thought that being in love meant you didn't have any responsibilities.

LIZ: And you know, at 12, you're allowed to do that. Go on.

PAZ: I'm sure it'll all end fine.

JULIAN: Definitely, definitely nothing will go wrong. I do have a note.

LIZ: Yeah, absolutely.

JULIAN: There's a moment where, like, Tigerclaw is attacking Crookedstar, the RiverClan leader. And like, he like bites Crookedstar's neck. And then there's a moment that it's like, "Crookedstar's pained screech told Fireheart that Tigerclaw had missed the spine." And it's like, oh geez.

LIZ: Jesus.

PAZ: These cats are fucking each other up.

JULIAN: Tigerclaw loves to try to kill leaders.

PAZ: I read that as him like purposely not killing him. But.

JULIAN: No, I think you're right.

PAZ: You know? He's probably really considering it.

LIZ: Mm hmm. If it was just like--

JULIAN: He doesn't get to do any murders.

LIZ: Yeah. Okay, I'm looking at the summary here. I didn't really write much about the prophecy because the summary's already pretty long. But we should probably recap because I think that was way from the beginning of the book, if not further back.

PAZ: The fire prophecy?

LIZ: Yeah, it's like how fire will save ThunderClan.

PAZ: Yeah, that's from the first book, but I think it was reiterated at the top in this book.

LIZ: Yes, so I think Fireheart thinks that fire refers to Tallstar, who just looks so cool and handsome in the sunlight. And then he's like, is it? Is it really him though? Because WindClan is doing so bad. So Fireheart, our protagonist, who's orange, is like, I got to think about this. That's it.

PAZ: He has a lot of other things on his mind.

JULIAN: He's a sweet boy.

PAZ: He doesn't know yet he's the protagonist.

LIZ: That's true. He doesn't have that meta brain, which is better. Fireheart turns to look directly at the reader. What else is there? I guess we could talk about the last scene.

PAZ: Yeah, where like Fireheart and Graystripe kind of make up.

LIZ: Yeah. I think it's sweet.

JULIAN: Yeah.

PAZ: Yeah, it was sweet.

JULIAN: It's like a pretty abrupt ending, I feel like.

LIZ: Mm-hmm.

PAZ: Yeah.

LIZ: How did the last one end? Like the last book, I don't quite remember.

PAZ: I feel like it was them being made warriors, right?

JULIAN: Um, let's see. Yeah, the last scene is them becoming warriors.

PAZ: I mean, like one thing about Fire and Ice, I think, is it had less of an overarching plot. It was like a lot of little plot threads, I feel like, because like we said, Tigerclaw wasn't really being the central villain in it.

JULIAN: Yeah, it definitely feels like it's setting up a lot of stuff for like later books, in a way that-- which makes sense based on what we've read about how the first book was kind of originally supposed to be standalone.

LIZ: Yeah. It's definitely widened like the circle of characters and just places a lot.

PAZ: Yeah, I don't think it's bad. It just like, I guess it would lead to a less decisive ending because it's like, well, a lot of stuff came up, and nothing really got solved yet. So.

JULIAN: Yeah, it is nice to like, wrap up on this Fireheart-Graystripe scene.

PAZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: When their conflict/relationship has been such a throughline.

PAZ: Yeah, I do. That's like the major throughline for sure is Fireheart and Graystripe. I mean, on the old version of the cover, that's the little picture is them sitting next to each other.

LIZ: Aw.

PAZ: In front of the moon.

LIZ: Aww.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's a good cover.

PAZ: Yeah, it is.

JULIAN: The original one.

LIZ: I also like seeing the two endings compared to each other because it's like, when they're kids and the ending is them. But you know, they're on good terms. And then when they're a little older, it's still them, but it's much more difficult.

PAZ: Yeah, that's a good mirror ending.

JULIAN: Man, I forgot how much fighting cats is on the cover of the...

PAZ: Yeah, I have. I have my like, old book with the old cover. I think the scene behind them is just the final battle at WindClan.

JULIAN: Yeah, here. I'm going to upload it to the server so you can see it, Liz.

LIZ: Oh, yeah. Wow. I love that.

JULIAN: They're just fighting.

LIZ: I love the background too. It's very, well, evocative of the title, but that's like good color contrast.

JULIAN: Yeah, it's nice.

LIZ: Oh, you guys gotta see the Polish cover for Fire and Ice.

PAZ: Ooh.

JULIAN: Oh, please show us.

LIZ: It is not what you're expecting.

[laughter]

JULIAN: Oop!

PAZ: It's uh, it's Graystripe and Silverstream, I think, being...

JULIAN: They're just, uh--

PAZ: Oh my god, look at Fireheart way in the background.

JULIAN: Wait. Oh no!

[laughter]

PAZ: Just like Graystripe and Silverstream at the front doing a little like cat affectionate headbutt, and then way in the background, very distant, is little orange Fireheart.

LIZ: [wheezing] I'm crying.

JULIAN: The artist for the Polish books was like, they shipped it.

PAZ: Yeah, they fucking did, apparently. They were like, uh...

JULIAN: They were like, Graystripe and Silverstream are in love. Fuck y'all.

LIZ: Listen, Polish cover artist, you follow your heart. They gave Graystripe this very like-- these are-- I want to reiterate the style of this, which is just kind of like normal cats but a little more expressive. Like they made Graystripe look very like, romantic interest, handsome face.

JULIAN: Yeah, this is-- he's got like, luxurious chest fur.

PAZ: Big ol face.

LIZ: It's very funny. [laughing] Fireheart just way in the back. Little speck.

PAZ: Oh god. I don't know if I have anything else to add right now.

JULIAN: Oh, I do really quickly want to-- while we're looking at covers, the simplified Chinese cover is very good.

LIZ: Oh, boy.

PAZ: Oh, I love that.

LIZ: [gasps] Oh wow. Who is that?

JULIAN: It's got-- yeah, it's Fireheart but drawn with the roundest face in the world, kind of emerging from like, between branches above the snow. It's really good colors.

LIZ: This cover gives me the vibe of like those-- when you're like a kid, you read books about animals, but like, they're just regular ones and not like, society ones. And it's about surviving winter.

PAZ: Yeah, that's exactly the vibe.

JULIAN: Yeah, it definitely has the vibe of like, I feel like children's book covers from the 80s were all like-- or like a lot of them were like, painted in a way, like a very specific way. And this gives me those vibes. Strong use of shadow. Anyway.

PAZ: I mean, is that it?

JULIAN: Yeah, I don't have anything else.

PAZ: I still have to decide if we're gonna do like a wrap up episode. I don't know, could be fun. We could read Graystripe hate.

[giggling]

JULIAN: Oh my god.

LIZ: Oh, the one we wrote, you mean?

JULIAN: Oh, it would be fun-- I can like do some digging on the forums and see if I can find any like old discussions of Graystripe/Silverstream.

PAZ: Yeah, that would be great. Um, I don't know if we're gonna do the second segment in this episode because it was pretty long, like set of chapters. And I haven't eaten dinner, so.

JULIAN: Oh, no!

LIZ: We can end it now. I do have one last cover for us to close out with. So this is, according to my very quick google search, is the Fire and Ice UK cover. And--

PAZ: Oh, what?

LIZ: Here it is. [laughing]

PAZ: What is this font?

LIZ: I think one of them is Papyrus.

JULIAN: It's not Papyrus, but it's like a very, like, jokey--

LIZ: It's very close.

JULIAN: Like handwriting font.

PAZ: It's in the Nickelodeon slime color. I want to be clear.

JULIAN: So the top of the cover is just like a very HDR picture of a cat. Just like eyes to nose. I assume it's supposed to be Graystripe. It's a gray cat. Bright yellow eyes. And then against a white background, Warriors: Fire and Ice. In the Nickelodeon slime font. And then in this sort of vaguely Old English font, "friend or foe? One cat must decide." And then a little picture of an icy river.

LIZ: Beautiful.

JULIAN: I love the splash text.

LIZ: [dramatically] "Friend or foe? One cat must decide." And he has to take the whole book.

JULIAN: Cause that's not what's happening.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: Oh. Also Erin Hunter's name in this is in all lowercase in this font that reminds me very strongly of like--

PAZ: Twilight?

JULIAN: YA romance novels.

PAZ: It reminds me of Twilight somehow.

LIZ: Yeah.

JULIAN: Yeah, I think it's the long-- the H has like a really long swoosh to it.

PAZ: The fact that there are three distinct fonts on this cover that in no way match.

JULIAN: Graphic design is our passion.

PAZ: Oh, God.

JULIAN: Wait, if this is the UK cover, were the books published in the-- the writers are British!

PAZ: Maybe, I don't know. It's a special cover.

LIZ: Didn't we cover this? Didn't-- yes. Although it does say this is sourced from Pinterest. So I couldn't tell you.

PAZ: Mm, okay, I don't know.

LIZ: Okay, let me double check.

JULIAN: Let me look at the wiki, because they have all the covers also.

LIZ: [typing] Ice UK. I'm getting conflicting theories here.

PAZ: Oh my gosh.

LIZ: Well, it's beautiful to me regardless. It's real in my heart.

JULIAN: No, I'm seeing it on the wiki as the English language, the UK edition.

PAZ: What happened?

JULIAN: And then there's an alternate version with the US cover, but bad.

PAZ: Oh my god.

LIZ: No.

JULIAN: It's like the US cover but they messed up all the sizes and also desaturated the battle scene so it's like really yellow instead of red. It's bad to look at.

LIZ: Oh yeah, I see it. It's not good.

PAZ: How did they mess up the--

JULIAN: I don't like it. I mean, it's not awful, but it's just like, not as good.

PAZ: Oh, I see it. It's not as good at all.

LIZ: That's like a Photobooth filter. They put a little frame around Fireheart and Graystripe there.

PAZ: Yeah, they went to the photo booth together.

LIZ: Aw, they're making up. Bluestripe. Sorry, Blue, Blueheart. Bluestar. Wow, I went through a lot of them there. Bluestar took them both aside to say, I hate it when you guys fight. I got you tickets to the county fair. Go have fun.

JULIAN: Sorry, I know we're just talking about covers now. I do-- the Japanese version.

PAZ: Oh, yeah. I love all the Japanese covers.

LIZ: Oh my god.

JULIAN: Which has Graystripe and Silverstream sitting next to each other but they're drawn. [laughs] They're drawn in just such a style.

PAZ: It's a very fun style. It's not a bad style.

JULIAN: It's very good. No, I love it. It's very charming. Like they're a little cockeyed. It's very folk art-y. And there's like a little red moon? Sun? Question mark? Behind them.

LIZ: Graystripe is extremely fluffy in this one, but he looks very well groomed. Like he just combed himself for his date.

PAZ: He probably did.

JULIAN: He's gotta get smooth. He's gotta get silky.

LIZ: Yeah, if you put this on, like, a dinnerware set, I'd be like, cute.

PAZ: Yeah?

JULIAN: Yeah, I would buy a mug with this on it.

PAZ: But is that is that gonna do for us, you think, for Fire and Ice? Well, for now, maybe.

JULIAN: Yep.

LIZ: Yeah.

PAZ: All right. And as always, you can find the show @staircast on twitter.com. Send in questions, stairwaytostarclan@gmail.com.

JULIAN: Tell us how you feel about Graystripe and Silverstream.

PAZ: Yeah, you know what, maybe write in.

LIZ: Wait.

PAZ: Maybe, maybe, on our maybe book wrap up podcast, we'll get into that.

LIZ: And if you-- while you're on Twitter looking for us, if you want to find a high res-- well, a middle res glossy JPEG of that Silverstream and Graystripe Polish cover in wallpaper size, you totally can. You just have to Google it. And it shows right up. It's like the first result. So for the fans out there, I hope you find it.

PAZ: Well, yeah, I think--

JULIAN: We can also tweet it.

PAZ: We can do that, maybe, if we remember. But I do want to hear everyone's Graystripe thoughts now.

JULIAN: Yeah. Tell us how you feel about everyone's worst friend. Not to bias the audience.

PAZ: We would never. But other than that, that's gonna do it for us. So until next time, may StarClan light your path. Bye.

JULIAN: Bye.

LIZ: Bye.

[outro music]

[0225pm]

i am tryna poop but i can’t poop so let’s answer some qns again

full name? heidy syn

age? i don’t wanna reveal cus i don’t feel like i act my age

relationship status? attached!!!

height? 163cm, but it fluctuates

last song you played? this one

last text you received? i shy le – farhan 2020

birthday? june 13

girl bestfriend? i’ve got a squad

guy bestfriend? farhan

favorite food? chicken hahaha or just anything that’s fried or grilled hehe

piercings? i used to have two on the left but i decided that the healing time wasn’t worth it lol so i took it out and let the hole close. i currently have one on each ear, a septum and a nostril piercing. honestly i am damn tempted to get an eyebrow piercing but i think my mom will kill me sia haha so sad

eye color? dark brown but almost hazel under sunlight

hair color? milk tea brown, with some moss green lol so yucky i should do something about it

favorite color? black isn’t a color but black :D i also like lilac/pastel purple, peachy, teal and turquoise

last time you cried? sunday while watching naruto wtf that gaara scene sigh sigh sigh

favorite season? fall

last phone call? farhan haha he called me after work to rant. so cute haha i love the fact that he looks for me when he wanna rant cus i like listening to him talk

last movie you watched? train to busan 2: peninsula

current mood? i’m tired actually cus i just got home after a long day out. that will be a separate post for later :)

someone you miss? farhan :(

favorite quote? there is no beauty without some strangeness by the late poe

weakness? farhan’s popping arm veins wtf it’s so fucking hot LOL but the sun is also my weakness haha i think i really am candle princess

something you crave? tiramisu!! i really want to try the one at awfully chocolate but it’s $19.90 :(

embarrassing moment? showing farhan a painting of his portrait that i painted haha 

girl crush? i used to aspire to be like olivya, but wow erin klay is so pretty

last time you got drunk? never in my life lol drunk in love have la haha

have you ever been in love? yes

perfect date for you? i used to like packed or fully planned out dates but now i think spontaneous dates or unplanned dates are usually the more fun/perfectly imperfect ones. just having lunch, maybe catch a movie, then lepak hahaha. tho i really wanna try a picnic date or a beach date, or arcade date or even painting/drawing date haha i think it’ll be fun

goals you want to achieve? for now i just wanna get that dip man

who makes you laugh? farhan, my dumbass friends lolol and surprisingly my bro cus he’s actually so lame lol its damn funny

last hug? farhan :(

someone you like? farhan???? but i love him already la ahhaha

any confession? i..... stole farhan’s heart >o<

have you ever peed in the pool? yes hahaha

first heartbreak? i can’t remember but a long time ago back in primary school, i liked this boy and i will always volunteer to bentang the tilam for naps and purposely put my napping mattress beside his so we will be able to sleep side by side lol wtf bodo sia hahaha but then he will purposely sleep the opposite of me. so example, he will sleep facing my feet instead of facing towards my face lol. so that one obviously rejection la but back then idk what’s heartbreak soooo

one celebrity you wanna meet? i’ve always wanted to meet bang yongguk or zico. i just wanna have a deep conversation with them cus i feel like they have a lot of experiences and advices to share

do you have trust issues? yes haha

any sport? i used to play basketball and swim but well not anymore. though i have been considering to invest in a basketball so i can use it as a form of exercise

first concert? BAP live on earth

favorite bands? pierce the veil, panic at the disco!, sleeping with sirens, black veil brides, imagine dragons, lord of the lost

studies or lovelife? both is equally important, there must be a balance between both

[thatguysamaniac-blog]

While looking for images of anthropomorphized versions of the new pokemon with their tits out, we stumbled upon some clickbait. Not just any clickbait, metacritic showing us a definitive fact based, unbiased top 50 games of the 2010's: 1. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (Wii, 2010) 97 2. The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild (Switch, 2017) 97 3. Red Dead Redemption 2 (PlayStation 4, 2018) 97 4. Grand Theft Auto V (PlayStation 4, 2014) 97 5. Super Mario Odyssey (Switch, 2017) 97 6. Mass Effect 2 (Xbox 360, 2010) 96 7. The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim (Xbox 360, 2011) 96 8. The Last of Us (PlayStation 3, 2013) 95 9. The Last of Us Remastered (PlayStation 4, 2014) 95 10. Red Dead Redemption (Xbox 360, 2010) 95 11. Portal 2 (Xbox 360, 2011) 95 12. God of War (PlayStation 4, 2018) 94 13. Batman: Arkham City (Xbox 360, 2011) 94 14. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time 3D (3DS, 2011) 94 15. BioShock Infinite (PC, 2013) 94 16. Pac-Man Championship Edition DX (Xbox 360, 2010) 93 17. Divinity: Original Sin II (PC, 2017) 93 18. Super Mario 3D World (Wii U, 2013) 93 19. Starcraft II: Wings of Liberty (PC, 2010) 93 20. Persona 4 Golden (PlayStation Vita, 2012) 93 21. Persona 5 (PlayStation 4, 2017) 93 22. Mass Effect 3 (Xbox 360, 2012) 93 23. Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain (PlayStation 4, 2015) 93 24. The Legend of Zelda: Skyward Sword (Wii, 2011) 93 25. Rock Band 3 (Xbox 360, 2010) 93 26. Uncharted 4: A Thief's End (PlayStation 4, 2016) 93 27. Super Smash Bros. Ultimate (Switch, 2018) 93 28. INSIDE (Xbox One, 2016) 93 29. Forza Horizon 4 (Xbox One, 2018) 92 30. God of War III (PlayStation 3, 2010) 92 31. Uncharted 3: Drake's Deception (PlayStation 3, 2011) 92 32. Bloodborne (PlayStation 4, 2015) 92 33. Celeste (Switch, 2018) 92 34. Super Street Fighter IV (PlayStation 3, 2010) 92 35. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt (PlayStation 4, 2015) 92 36. Undertale (PC, 2015) 92 37. Fire Emblem: Awakening (3DS, 2013) 92 38. Divinity: Original Sin II - Definitive Edition (PlayStation 4, 2018) 92 39. Super Smash Bros. for Wii U (Wii U, 2014) 92 40. Journey (PlayStation 3, 2012) 92 41. Xenoblade Chronicles (Wii, 2012) 92 42. Mario Kart 8 Deluxe (Switch, 2017) 92 43. The ICO & Shadow of the Colossus Collection (PlayStation 3, 2011) 92 44. The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Blood and Wine (PC, 2016) 92 45. LittleBigPlanet 2 (PlayStation 3, 2011) 91 46. Overwatch (PC, 2016) 91 47. Bayonetta 2 (Wii U, 2014) 91 48. Forza Horizon 3 (Xbox One, 2016) 91 49. Final Fantasy XIV: Shadowbringers (PC, 2019) 91 50. Dragon Quest XI S: Echoes of an Elusive Age - Definitive Edition (Switch, 2019) Richie:  I LIEK THE DUBBLE ONES! The Last of Us x2 Divinity: Original Sin II x2 Play count: 16 off that list, that's also eight twentyfifths, which is roughly how much of my massive dick your mom can take. Cunzy: Now, we all know the issues with a crowd sourced list. It's dumb. It's like putting together a list of best fruit, or favourite socks. However, every now and then it's useful to pull the wang out to measure it against the communities' wang and see just how weird and misshapen our is (we share genital appendages) by comparison. Play count: 9! What an alternative darling I am! Richie: I mean they are great, and you know they will be, but you have to draw the line somewhere, So you have to choose and say, "Nah I wont play this", better the time sink you know, right? And you choose your reasons, you skim an article, and find the thing that is slightly wrong and then activate your inner drama queen to say "OMG that is not a game I want to play I cant believe they dont have Fred Durst doing the voice of the main character" or something equally nuts. And there is plenty of them on that list that I simply refuse to play for these reasons. And I guess that's fine? Time is finite, I cant go back ten years and play all of the PS3 games I never played? Can I? Cunzy: GUILTY CONFESSIONS, A.K.A those games you know are great but just never got around to: Mario Odyssey, LoZ (the whole franchise), Red Dead (series), Mass Effect (series), Persona (series), Divinity (series), Souls (series)... where do I hand my gamer card back? Richie: Also Overwatch... Do people actually play it, or is that there just because people fiddle with their genitalia to fund cosplay camgirls? Cunzy: Yes, watch me throat this widowmaker dildo on my stream now. Richie: So do we disagree with this list? Well, to be fucking honest I'm not going to research it myself, I'm not sure I have played much more than 50 games this year, as far as i can recall, I played a lot of Diablo 3 and Fallout/Skyrim... but yeah I'm sure the above is good... Actually fuck that, Games of the decade for me are... Every iteration of pokemon that came out in the last 10 years, X/Y, Sun/Moon, Black/White, Sword/Shield, Flaps/Scrotum. Skyrim SNOW VIKING DRAGON SHOUTING Animal Crossing, Shake the tree for Nook. Lego Everything, play, collect, repeat Hyperdimensions Neptunia. Ultra Japanese anthropomorphised consoles as Anime girls. Vert is best Waifu.  Fallouts So many plus expansions, Chandler as a bad guy is special.  Diablo 3, Clicky loot loot  WoW Classic, because...  FFXIII-2, Timetravel-bocolina  Tomodatchi Life, Make your friends on the DS into miis, interact with them, cry alone at night Smash Bros. Repeatedly main Peach till she becomes top tier, yaay Jackbox games, All Gems, probably the best multiplayer gaming actually this decade.  Doki Doki Literature Club, MO-NI-KA Batmanzes, grapple glide Southparkgames, play the stories you have watched and add a weak RPG element. Dragon Ages-s, Way better than mass effect Every Naruto game. Like lego, but with anime ninjas Barrel Scrape: the game, where you frantically look at your steam collection for the games you have most played, and check the dates of your 360 games to see if they fall into this category I played 18 games it seems? Cunzy: *gasps for air*, wipes synthetic jizz from Lollipop Chainsaw skirt. Ten years is a long time. Here's my top 18 games of the decade. Silent Hill Shattered Memories 2010 Silent Hill without the combat and all the more psychologically chilling because of it. Great setting, theme and story. One I regularly come back to and still brick myself.  Endless Ocean 2 2010 Expanding on the first one in every way, shame there aren't more nature lovin' games in this ilk.  Monster Hunter Tri 2010 The only one in the series to have kept my attention despite it being the 'wrong one' according to many in the MH community.  Lost Planet 2 2010 Probably one of the games with the most comprehensive couch co-op mode and ridiculous bosses to team up against. Absolutely bonkers story, giant monsters and jetpacks. What more do you need? Dead Rising 2 2010 I wasn't too bothered with DR3 and DR4 despite absolutely loving the first game. They seem to have crossed the line between goofy but po-faced and just silly apocalypse zombie killing. DR2 arguably gives you a playground more memorable than Willamette and stays on the 'serious' side.  Dead Space 2 2011 One of my favourite gaming franchises I think, excellently built world that is complemented by the tie in anime, comics and spin-off games.   Resident Evil Revelations 2012 It was a good decade for Resident Evil with almost every game seeing multiple ports, re-releases and remasters. It's a close call between Resident Evil 2 and Revelations on the Nintendo 3DS for my favourite of the decade but this one really got it's biohazardous talons-with-eyes into us especially raid mode. Revelations 2 is fantastic co-op but the raid mode side of things isn't as fluid as the original Revelations. Criminally, aside from a brief VR foray into Resident Evil 7, we errr didn't play it.  The Last Story 2012 Oh, I fell in love with this game and despite the small geography of Lazulis City it felt like a living city with many surprises tucked away. Great soundtrack to boot.  Fire Emblem Awakening 2013 Another series that had a rock solid decade starting with Awakening then the rest of the 3DS trilogy, an excellent Warriors game and even Heroes wasn't too bad. Although Fire Emblem Three Houses is the superior game, it's the cast and the support system pioneered by Awakening that has this in my top 18.  Tomb Raider 2013 Sometimes the context in which you play a game is as important as the game itself. A weekend in 2013 with fellow Tomb Raider fans blasting through this excellent and long awaited reboot is fondly remembered. Last of Us 2013 It's hard to put a finger on just one thing that makes this game phenomenal but there's not been much like it since.  LEGO Marvel Super Heroes 2013 There were some great LEGO games this decade from opposites LEGO Worlds and LEGO Dimensions to movie tie-ins and a strong series of games based on the Marvel and DC comics. The Marvel trilogy in particular was outstanding.  Everyone's Gone to the Rapture 2015 With age, the more energetic games can leave me wheezing with exhaustion just thinking about playing them and EGttR is a perfect respite from the shootbang games. Honestly, I'd be keen to play more games just like this. The English countryside setting in particular made it extra special.  Mario Kart 8 Deluxe 2017 Honestly, who actually puts Mario Kart on their top games list? Well thinking about it and looking at play records it's probably the perfect couch multiplayer game but with a real challenging depth to those looking to break records and get a hold of those elusive gold kart components.  Splatoon 2 2017 Cheating slightly here by including Splatoon 2 and the Octo Expansion as one entry. I'm really not a huge fan of the central competitive gameplay of Splatoon, although I've put in the hours, but the single player side of things are a worthy first person puzzler(?) in their own right.  Into the Breach 2018 When the options paralysis sets in, which is often, I just spin up Into the Breach. Three hours and a few runs later I'll question why I don't play this game even more often. Hundreds of hours in and still challenges to do, runs to try.  Super Smash Brothers Ultimate 2018 Part game, part nerdy love letter to gaming, part video game museum.  Pokemon Sword and Shield 2019 Okay as Richie pointed above any of the pokemon mainline series could have filled this slot but the last one makes most sense. Twas also a good decade for the spinoffs. I enjoyed Pokemon Conquest a huge deal, put an embarrassing amount of time into Quest as well as Picross, Rumble, Duel, Go and mystery dungeons.  And there we have it, lists, we'll be back at some point in the future with more lists, perhaps with a list spanning the last 2 decades, to present you with our Game of the Century (spoilers, it's SSX Tricky). Also if anyone has a word to describe my above rant about the act of proactively dismissing something despite knowing it will be good to avoid committing to the time sink, please let me know. We live in a time of labels, there must be a word for this! Love and where do you even start with persona! Richie + Cunzy X

http://www.thatguys.co.uk/2020/01/top-50-games-of-decade-commentary.html

[viscariavalley]

The Story of Mud

Told in point form. Cause that’s how I told my friend, the one keeping me sane during all this story development. 

This is my favourite complex, weird-layered story there is in the entire story.

see, Aunt Death be like "the easiest way to get at Summer is to get at his bae." so that's how it goes down

Aunt Death petrifies Ayla to get Aelius to calm the fuck and get sealed away

and Avani, she's like "whelp. i love my bro, but he's dead now, but his wife ain't?? better set her up in this cute grotto on a bed of flowers.

now Avani, Avani's mortal bae, Mud, is a little feral child who is under an immortality curse. Avani’s like "well, i'm gonna die soon, better force my best friend to watch over my brother's waifu until we get back," and curses him to stay by this beautiful sleeping lady's side

so on top of never aging or dying, he's now not ever leaveing Ayla's bed side.

pratically skin and bones by the time CUTE GUY TEACHER NOT AT ALL INSPIRED BY GOOD NARUTO CHARACTERS™ finds him

and loves him

and i'm tearing up a little

so Ronan sees this kid, and he's like "COME HOME WITH ME PLEASE LET ME FEED AND CARE FOR YOU"

but the kid's like "i'm cursed to this spot."

Ronan cries a little and spends all his free time with Mud. after classes, he visits him to feed him, on weekends he teaches him, 24/7 he cares for him.

Mud’s literally never been happier

I mean he’s had some fun times with Avani, and Dandy Lion and Violet are pretty easy to get along with, but like, there’s this fatherly figure giving him love and attention and good food, he’s been blessed 

he loves it. he loves Ronan. and Ronan loves him. they’re like a family.

now

now Sky and Teddy find Ayla's grotto. They revive Ayla.

Ronan goes to visit the kid, and finds the beautiful woman, that strange kid and that strange dog and the kid all standing around. The beautiful woman turns to him and is basically "adopt this fucking child please"

and Ronan, Ronan's like "i... i thought you were his mother???"

she laughs and laughs, her voice like bells. she tells him no and follows the strange kid and the strange dog out of the grotto.

this leaves Ronan with Mud in the cute grotto

Ronan looks as Mud with his brightest, happiest smile, and asks the boy if he’s ready to leave

Mud mirrors his new dad’s face and just pulls him through the brambles.

bonus:

after Thales confesses to Ronan that he only got cursed because he was caught picking flowers out of a witch’s flower garden - flowers he says, he was gonna give to him, after having witnessing how beautiful Ronan is

and sorta moving in with Ronan and Mud

it’s discovered that Thales is a much better cook than Ronan

Mud tells Ronan to marry the man as soon as he’s tasted the man’s cooking

and they sorta do, after they fall into this weird domestic bliss and become super comfortable with another

it shows in Mud, as the boy ages

his immortality curse was so that he could find a Family