#confession time : ive never seen the boys

[colouredbyd]

The Garden Gate

Mauraders Era

🌷= fluff 🌙 = angst 💌 = hurt/comfort 🌱= crack

❤︎ poly!marauders:

"Tell Me You Will Believe Me" 🌙 (3.6k) (part 1)

seer!reader: haunted by dark visions, you must protect your lovers from their fate.

↳ " Tell Me I Didn't Lose You" 💌🌷(3.3k) (part 2) after your vision exposes the traitor, healing begins only once you let yourself break.

A Moon For Moony 💌🌷(4.3k)

When Remus admits he's never seen the moon, you create one just for him.

We Will Be Okay 🌙💌 (4.6k) (part 1)

After an argument with the boys you nearly lose your life, the Marauders realize too late what their silence cost.

↳ We Heal, At Last 💌 (8.8k) (part 2) after your attack, you pull away, wounds aching. but love finds you again, gentle and patient, proof that even after ruin, there can still be light.

Sweet Things Melt Slowly 🌷(2.6k)

Winter comes softly, and in firelight and snowlight, three boys and their girl fall a little more in love.

Finding Rest 💌 (2.1k)

You wake hurting, but they hold you through the silence—until it hurts a little less.

The Adventures Of Flicker ( animagi!reader x marauders)

↳ The Secret's Out (5.2k)🌷💌 : you keep stumbling across your boyfriends in your Animagus form, a clumsy red panda. Their gazes linger, sensing something familiar. But not all secrets last. ↳ The Secret Life Of Pets (7k) 🌷🌱: after a botched transformation, you’re stuck as a red panda, posing as the Marauders' pet—but staying hidden proves harder than they thought. ↳ Lost And Found (4k) 💌: after a reckless fight, you hide as flicker, overwhelmed by fear. when they find you, their gentle words and touch ease your heart, bringing fragile peace.

❤︎ Regulus Black:

Soleil 🌷(7.3k)

childhood friends to lovers: Regulus overhears a quiet confession and everything shifts.

You're Too Sweet For Me 💌 (1.5k)

Despite claiming you're too sweet for him, Reg returns, broken and seeking the love you always offer.

"If you look closely, you'll see them!" 🌷 (3k)

You swear Regulus has dimples but no one believes you. Then he walks in, finds your eyes, and for a moment, your friends see it too.

Sweater Weather 🌷(4.7k)

Regulus, notoriously bad at expressing love, spends an entire fall knitting you the world’s ugliest sweater, yet you wear it anyway

The Nightingale Masterlist 🌙💌🌷(51k) (series) (on going)

hunger games au: You were thirteen when your name was called. He was fourteen when he took your place, becoming the youngest Victor the Capitol had ever seen before disappearing into its glittering grip. Now, your name is drawn again for the 70th Hunger Games, and Regulus is willing to do anything to make sure you make it out alive. But the Capitol is watching, and in the arena, nothing is as it appears.

Time Cast A Spell On You 🌙💌🌷

reincarnation au: Across lifetimes, two souls find each other, haunted by love and lost memories. But maybe this time, in their final life, the story will end differently.

↳ Prologue (0.8k) ↳ I: Hogwarts (10k) ↳ II: The Kingdom (12k) ↳ III: The Rockstar (22k) ↳ IV: The Art Gallery ↳ V: Silver Springs

❤︎ Sirius Black:

Silver Spoons And Butter Knives 🌙 (2.4k)

Sirius, born into a house of cold legacy, watches love like a stranger and aches for what he was never taught to hold.

❤︎ Remus Lupin:

Caught In The Web 💌🌱🌷(10k) (part 1)

spiderman au: when your fascination with spiderman leads to danger, secrets unravel. with regulus by your side and remus hiding more than he admits, you realize heroes are closer than they seem.

↳ Web Of Secrets 💌🌱🌷 (13k) (part 2) When danger resurfaces and secrets unravel, your fascination with Spider-Man deepens—but with Remus by your side, you learn that heroes aren’t always who you expect.

❤︎ poly!jegulus

Kiss, Marry, Avada Kedavra 💌🌱🌷(6.2k)

A late-night game of Kiss, Marry, Kill turns tender when truths surface quietly. lines blur, and something like love begins to take root.

Sweeter Than Syrup 🌱🌷(3.6k)

A lakeside weekend of soft mornings and sweeter laughter, where something warm and wordless grows between you, James, and Regulus.

❤︎ poly!wolfstar

The Boy Is Mine 💌🌷(3.4k)

In which a girl flirts with Remus, and despite your quiet nature, you remind everyone who he belongs to.

The Names Of Real Things 💌 (3.6k)

When reality blurs and the world slips away, Sirius and Remus hold you steady, naming every truth until you find your way back.

❤︎ poly!moonwater

Broken Vases 🌙💌 (4.0k)

A misstep cracks open the past, and suddenly the ghosts of your childhood are too loud to ignore. Leaving Remus and Regulus to teach you that love isn't supposed to feel like survival.

Of Rain And Gentle Hands 💌🌷(6.3k)

A rough day leaves you fraying, but with Remus and Regulus, even the heaviest days feel lighter.

❤︎ poly!bartylus

oh my, love is a lie! 🌙💌 (5.2k)

Caught between Regulus's soft looks and Barty's wild affection, you almost confess until you see them walk in hand in hand. You toast to their happiness, breaking in the street when it hits different.

want to plant a seed? requests are: open!

[mina-org]

I think ive mention home wrecker gaz? or price? but id like to expand, yandere behaviour kidnapping and stuff

simon doesnt mess about, he listened 7 rings one too many times, he sees you, he wants you, hes got you in the boot of his car and the toddler in a car seat. simon knows you're loyal, he likes that, hopefully youre see its fruitless to stay loyal to a dead man.

Johnny I think lovesssss, lives for it. youll rip up an established life? with deep roots? for lil old Johnny? also loves being a boy toy for an older lady. Johnny definitely weasels his way in and his plan is to slowly turn you against the other person but I feel like he'd get impatient and confess too soon and that would lead to a kidnapping.

Mr price? hes just finalised his 2nd divorceand he swears off love and marriage. until he sees you overwhelmed with the cutest lil baby and toddler and no help John can't let you struggle, so he plays a kind stranger!!! and who would've guessed your toddler is strangely obsessed with the army and johns apart of it! unlike his own dad who is much lamer and he never sees:( John just feels himself slipping into your current husbands place while hes away on business.

gaz likes being chosen, being seen, bros a mirrorball, similar to Johnny, he likes to see the temptation in your eyes while you look at him and thoughts of anyone else falls to the side. he likes playing hero and save his prettiest girl from the neglectful husband, I think hes the only one whos not kidnapping you

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Worship

a/n I won’t say anything because what is there to say… Also, this is fiction idk why but I just feel the need to wave that flag here.

Summery: Just on stage shenanigans between you, the back singer, and the boys.

warning: no full on smut because there’s so much of that as it is but they are sex on legs so this does have sexual implications. I’m just a girl. And I feel like I should go confess my sins to someone.

All of them x reader

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Nothing truly beats the feeling of the stage lighting beaming on you. The radiant atmosphere and the beating of the crowd in front of the stage. It got addictive fast. And the rush of both adrenaline and freedom you never truly got over. Most of the time, it still felt like a dream. Like you weren’t there. There weren’t four other people. A whole band that people swooned over. 

You still remember the notification of the private message in your DMs. “We’ve seen your videos. The voice is to die for. Up to back us up?” You had stared at it for hours. Pressing the profile over and over again, convinced that one of the times it would take you to some scammy account, but it didn’t. So you took that leap of fate, and the roller coaster that unfolded still made your skin tingle at times. 

“How you don’t break an ankle in these is beyond me," II grumbled, gesturing to the high heels you were strapping around your legs. Before throwing the towel he had just used to dry his hair with, at you. You huffed back, “Of course you wouldn’t know; you sit and look pretty the whole show."  You shot him an overly exaggerated smile before flipping him off. “Put the claws away, baby," he said, lifting his hands up, “I would love to keep my eyes for some time longer." You lifted both of your hands, making sure to flex the black coffin-shaped nails, only earning a chuckle in return from II. 

“No form of violence is allowed backstage," III cut in, putting the mask over his face, “Unless it’s consensual, of course." The three of you snickered. There was never a dull moment with them. You weren’t sure exactly why you imagined them to be all cold and unapproachable, but you couldn’t have been more wrong. From the silly hats they happily took from the fans to messing around on stage barking. “We’re out in thirty,"  IV's voice cut through the snickering. “Vess?”, you questioned, standing up only to still feel tiny among them. It was unfair how even killer heels had you feeling minuter. “In his element, ready to go," the usual then. You turned to the mirror while doing the last checkups. Fiddling with the straps of your dress.

“Headset feels good?”, warm hands slipped up your beck, fidgeting with the wires as if he even knew what he was doing. “You just needed an excuse to put your hands on me, sir," you said, pushing back against IV’s chest. He already had his mask on, but from the way his blue eyes flickered, you knew he was smirking at you. “You can’t call the man guilty if you haven’t caught him red-handed, darling,"  he muttered in your ear, sending shivers down your spine. “And to my defense, the wire wasn’t plugged in,"  he snickers before pulling back. You shook your head as you watched him follow after the boys out. Reaching for your mask, you take a couple of deep breaths to steady your heartbeat. It was going to be a night to remember. You could just feel it. 

And your gut wasn’t wrong. The crowd was wild tonight, and that always set the bend into a different kind of frenzy. For most of the shows, you were usually up there on your pedestal. Looking like a vision cloaked in both light and darkness, there were some songs that Vessle liked having you down there with him. But you always felt almost guilty. You didn’t want the fans to feel like you were there to change the dynamic. Let alone take up a spot that wasn’t yours to take. 

So when you noticed Vessel striding towards you, you couldn’t help but silently shake your head. They had already all been all over each other all night. But you don’t get to run through all of your reasons as to why this was a bad idea before Vessel was in front of your pedestal. Hands reaching up for your ankles before he pointed for you to get down. You shook your head at him, continuing to sing your part. Not wanting the interaction to seem odd, you sank to your knees so you can touch his face, only realizing how wrong this move was once Vessel's hands grip the sides of your hips and you’re airborne before you can even blink. 

A small shriek slips past your lips as you hold onto his shoulders. But no matter what your reaction to this was, he was all smug about it. His white teeth bright against the black paint covering his body. “I don’t like it when you put on unnecessary fights," he mused before turning back to the crowd. So, you let the thrill of the beat take over. Playing into the role of the masked goddess. A siren. That was the beauty of the mask. Such little thing making the biggest difference. Giving one the chance to feel way more confident. 

And it’s II your legs take you to first. His eyes follow your movements all across the stage. With the drum set taking most of his platform he was sat on, playing games with this man was tricky. But it wasn’t impossible. So you slither behind him. Placing your hand on top of his head, you carefully make him look up at you. That same moment, the heel II was so found off finds its way between his parted legs. Without missing a beat, his face is pressed into your upper thigh, fingers dipping beneath the mesh overlay of your dress. And you know there will be hell to pay later on from the way he’s gripping your ankle. You push his face away from your body, throwing him a lighthearted kiss as you hurry down the platform stairs. The roar of the crowd filling all of your senses. 

III is left to your mercy next. And since his eyes were all over you, you knew that even if you were to walk right past him, he would follow you across the stage. So you stand there, motioning with your fingers for him to come to you. Right as your part of the solo vocals came. Ones that boys even called your siren song. You let the melody pour out of you. Watching III sink to his knees in front of you. Your brain blanks for a moment as he leans forward, and you just know why the crowd erupts in chaos. So your fingers find his head, pulling him even closer. Let him paint the picture of devouring you. Worshipping you. And you’re yet again so thankful for the mask covering your face because you know that your face would be as red as the paint on his skin. Especially after he stands back up. Fingers moved to brush over his lips as if he was cleaning them.

You can feel someone’s eyes burning holes in your body, and you’re not even one bit surprised to see IV with his eyes blazing. He was the one you flirted the most with backstage as well. Since day one, there was just that mutual fire you both shared. So the back and forth between you both was never-ending. But if there was one thing IV avoided, it was making any move towards you while everyone was on stage. And while boys took their sweet time being lunatics when it came to you. His play pretend ended with his bandmates. Yet you didn’t miss the glances he threw your way. Or how he would find himself close to your pedestal, close enough to touch but never leaning in. 

And while your head was telling you that maybe he just didn’t want to get involved, your heart was telling you to take yet another leap of faith. So you two stood in front of each other for a heartbeat. And right as Descending’s you came crawling back to me, filled the stage. Your finger hooked beneath the bottom of his mask as you pulled him closer. No matter the blast of sounds around you, you could still make out the growl that slipped past his lips. And since his eyes promised hell, you threw all caution to the wind as you leaned in, smashing your lips against his. You didn’t let it linger for too long; there was little fun in having two masks between you both, but it got the point across well enough. 

IV’s hand reached for you as you moved back away. A freaked-out giggle slipped past your lips as you darted towards your last victim for the night. Well, and shelter now, considering that you had to get away from IV. Vessel was someone you knew had to be worshipped in front of the fans. You weren’t living under a rock. His hands and fingers had separate fan blogs, not to mention his carved-out chest muscles. So you slipped behind him. Letting your fingers trail the sides of him. Finding the sweat-drenched skin. Dragging your nails over the paint, no doubt leave claw marks in its way. 

You rested your head against Vessel’s beck for a heartbeat, hoping to slip from behind him with ease. But you couldn’t have been more wrong because the moment you took the reassured stride away from him. A firm hand gripped your hair as he carefully, yet rather possessively, dragged you back to him. Pulling your head back so he could look down at you, shaking his head. But the smile gave his controlling demeanor away. “Whatever will we do with you, little Vixen?" You bit your lip, shrugging slightly. Playfully pushing at his chest, you slipped out of his grip. Swaying your hips as you slowly climbed back to the steps of your pedestal. Not letting your brain think of the hell you just set ablaze.

[prettyboykatsuki-moved]

WON'T YOU LEND ME YOUR FAITH? | R. ITOSHI

❁ tags ; fem!reader (reader dresses femininely + is referred to as a girl / with she/her pronouns), reader is shorter than rin , strangers to friends to lovers, fluff, getting together, rin is soo teenage boy (and makes some annoying teen-boy comments), slow-burn, making out is as suggestive as this gets, stereotypical shoujo romance, usage of honorifics, coming of age

❁ wc ; 21.4k (insane. most insane thing ive ever seen)

❁ a/n ; i'm genuinely appalled by the length of this fic. how did that happen. what in the world. this fic is truly just. every single shoujou manga trope crammed into one okay. my silly little self indulgent romance !!!!

also this fic is sfw + takes place in their third of hs so im not gonna say mdni that's silly. however if you're a minor please do not follow me i post heinous dark content and this fic is a fluke in the timeline dskffjkfd

❁ synopsis ; the love story of a sensitive, stoic soccer player and an eccentric wannabe journalist

or that time you confess to itoshi rin, knowing he'll reject you, and asking to befriend him in spite of it.

“I like you,” 

A breeze of wind passes.

“What?” 

You confess to Itoshi Rin at the start of the Spring semester. On the school rooftop with your head down. Bent at a near ninety degrees as you hold out what looks like a love letter.

For a minute, he can’t do anything more than stare. He’s received countless confessions in highschool. Half of which he rejected immediately, not even stopping to hear the full extent of their feelings. Why would he? The lukewarm ideas of first love had never been of interest. Even before his fight with Sae, Rin was always focused on his goals. 

After his second year of high school was spent in Bluelock, Rin has only returned for his third. He promised his parents he’d graduate properly, and Bluelock was off-season until Ego could fully prepare for the next stages. 

And a lot has changed since then. But some parts of him, namely his feelings towards the idea of conventional relationships, haven't changed at all. 

It’s only been a little less than three weeks since school had started, and by now he’s received more confessions than he can really remember. All of which he’s rejected coldly, and blankly, because Itoshi Rin has never been in the business of coddling anyone. Most of those girls he’s never even met. Knows nothing about them because they’re first or second years he’d never even spoken to. 

Rin, however, does know you. You’ve been in his class in all 3 years of his highschool, and he’s seen you around more than once. You’re in the newspaper club, which he remembers because you covered their winning match back when Rin was a first year. He wouldn’t call you friends, but you’ve spoken to each other enough that he can remember your name with a little effort. 

He also  remembers you being sort of annoying. You’re one of those loud and earnest types that he can’t stand. 

A year ago, Rin would’ve denied knowing you at all. But now that things with Sae have cleared up just a little - he’s not inclined to take his anger out on you. He knows you. Not well, but enough.

And if his reputation precedes him at all, then you know Rin too. You know that he’s never once gone out with a single girl in his 3 years of highschool and that most of the guys in all three grades consider him an arrogant jerk. You know that he mostly plays soccer alone during breaks and that he only really hangs out with one person. 

Which means you must know that he doesn’t harbor any feelings for you. And that he’s going to reject your confession without thinking twice about it. 

In the first place, he was just curious if you were stupid enough to do it. If you really called him up here for a roof-top confession. The fact that you were is what’s stifling him. Your words are familiar. He’s heard them so many times. But it’s baffling. It’s ridiculous. 

You lift your head to face him. You’re still smiling, though there’s something more there that he can’t understand. He doesn’t do well with people like you begin with. He finds himself backing away when you jog up closer towards him. 

He’s taller than you, he notices. You pick your head up to look at him and smile, toothy and at ease. You hold the letter up again and shove it towards him, though you don’t seem like you’re expecting him to take it. He stares at you. 

“I like you,” You repeat, smooth and bubbly. He frowns. 

“I don’t like you.” 

He has expectations for this part. Normally he receives a saddened look like a dog whose tail he stepped on or a fit of crying (sometimes genuine, sometimes with the intent of guilt.) Sometimes he gets an awkward smile trying to seem unbothered by the whole situation. 

You don’t falter though. You don’t even flinch at the words, cold as ice and steely. It throws him off. 

“I know,” You say back,  prying the letter away from him. You turn the other way, walking towards the metal grates and for a minute Rin wonders if you’re going to do something drastic. You don’t though, instead sticking your the paper in the air “That’s why I have a proposal,” 

He stares, absolutely dumbfounded. You turn again towards him. 

“I want to get to know you. And keep confessing to you,” You say first, and Rin immediately goes to reject you until you put your hands up “And I want you to keep rejecting me.” 

He’s baffled. Really. 

“What?” 

“So I can gradually lose my feelings for you. Nothing that different on your end, honestly..” 

It sounds annoying. It really does. If it were anyone else, under any other circumstance he would scoff and tell them to deal with their own shitty feelings alone just like everyone else. But there’s no hidden intention there. Rin’s always been good at sniffing that out. Your words are pure as can be.

Frustratingly simple and twice as sincere, no matter how confusing the whole thing is. 

“Why should I?” 

“We can be friends,” You reply like it’s the best deal he could ask for. “Isn’t that enough? Not like you really have any right now.” 

He scoffs bitterly albeit he can’t counter you. 

“Friendship is lukewarm. I don’t care about any of that stuff,” 

“Lukewarm? Really? Then..think of it like I’ll be your shield. You hate when people socialize with you right? I’ll help you deal with it.” 

That doesn’t sound too bad actually. On top of that, he’s kind of curious what your deal is. He rolls his eyes at you, turning to face the other way. 

“Do whatever you want. It’s not like it matters.” 

His response makes you beam. He hears you shout from the otherside of the yard, followed by the sound of your footsteps noisily thudding against the concrete as you try to catch up with him. He walks faster than you just to spite you for earlier, but he hears your last words through a huff of breath. 

“Jeez, you’re fast. I’ll see you at lunch, be prepared!” 

Somehow, he feels like he’s crossed paths with something he shouldn’t’ve. 

__

You keep up with your end of the deal with Rin to the best of your ability. 

The upsides of your arrangement is that the usual annoyances Rin has to deal with have decreased significantly in the time you’ve been hanging around him. You’re very good at using your speech to sway conversations one way or the other without upsetting the other party.

Normally, Rin’s rejections for different things leave a bitter taste in the air. He’s never been good at mincing his words for anyone and while it doesn’t affect him - the strange stares and whispers he gets are a little annoying to deal with. People always take his disinterest personally. Rin has always hated that. He was probably a little gentler about the denial before but still. 

While other people are too stupid to pay it any mind, you’re clever at turning the tides your way. You always manage to completely divert their questions without making them feel uncomfortable. Rin has tried, many times, to actually break down how you’re doing it. He doesn’t think he’d ever be able to replicate it, no matter how much he studies you. 

He’s reluctant to admit it, but really, your presence has significantly lowered the number of obstacles in his daily life and made him overall, less irritable. 

Instead of many annoying things, there’s only you. Which is tolerable in comparison. 

You also expect him to uphold his end of the deal. For the most part, this has just meant you inserting yourself into his usual activities. It started out small enough, mostly just you sitting with him during lunch. It draws too much attention to eat in the classroom so you both fuck off to the roof. 

(You often joke about how romantic it is, reminiscing on your rejected first love with as much melodrama as you can muster. 

Rin never laughs about it to your face, but he admits it’s funny. Your stupidity is mildly amusing, at least ) 

There, you eat lunch together. Rin learns you make yourself colorful bentos from time to time- though some days are much less elaborate than others. You like to unwind that way, your designated and nightly me-time. You work part-time, and you take care of your neighbors kids by helping them every morning and night. 

Rin doesn’t ask you for more, not willing to deliberately show interest. 

But you notice his curiosity for better or for worse and explain that she, the woman next door, used to make you dinner back when your parents were too busy. You have an older brother who's nearly twelve years your senior so you were alone for most of your childhood. She had children late, but they feel like your little siblings. So you help them in the mornings and in the evenings when you have time. 

Rin learns you, funnily enough, have a sense of obligation towards other people that he can’t fully comprehend. He forgot there were people like that. In an environment like Bluelock that is so dead set on fostering ego, it’s easy to forget something so simple. 

You haven’t confessed to him again since that time. Not like he’s expecting it, but given your personality he wonders why. He thought it’d be more of a daily occurence, something like a bit you did. But you never do. Even when at times, it’s so heavy in the atmosphere even he can tell you want too. 

Admittedly, Rin wonders a lot more about you than he cares to. He wonders why you spend so much time with him when you have plenty of other friends who seem to cherish you. He wonders why you care so much about the dying club you're in. He wonders if this, in some strange way, stems from some kind of obligation.

He wonders, sometimes, what about him you could even like. It’s probably something stupid. You’d probably think long and hard before going on to say that you like him because he’s handsome or cool. Something shallow and meaningless. 

He tells himself that when he starts thinking about it again. 

__

Rin gets roped into cleaning the classroom with you. 

He’s used to being paired with other people. But he’s never had to do with you before, even in the years prior. Or maybe he did. He doesn’t recall much of his first year. 

Still, now that it’s already mid-May, Rin has never been on cleaning duty with you. He’s conscious of the sound of your name these days. It’s not something he’s happy about. 

It’s a simple affair. Just 15 or 20 minutes. Nothing to talk about. Not really. 

But, today you’re alone with him. Alone in an empty classroom with light pouring through the windows and reflecting off of the wooden desks. You’re busying yourself with wiping down the chalkboard, humming quietly. Rin has the broom and dust pan, slowly working himself towards the front of the room. 

It’s mostly quiet. Just your humming. The soft thud of a dust pan, a gentle brush of the bristle. 

Rin feels a crick in his neck, half-way done with the task at hand. He stares at you, off in the front. In your own little world as you fix everything up diligently without turning your head to look up at him even once. 

The nape of your neck is visible from the way you’re standing. There’s a chain there. Do you wear a necklace under your uniform? He can see the slope of your shoulders. The light reflects on you. 

It stops him dead in his tracks. All he can hear is the quiet. The soft humming of your voice. The thud of the dust pan, the woosh of an eraser. The gentle bristle of a broom. The sound of his own heartbeat, a little louder than it was a minute ago. 

He shakes his head. He goes back to sweeping. 

__

“Why do you look like that?” 

You look depressed. For Rin, this expression on you is unusual. You do look sad sometimes.  Somber, occasionally but the look you have on your face right now is down right harrowing. You’re staring blankly out into the open, sitting in the usual spot the two of you have lunch at. But you’ve hardly touched your food and your favorite juicebox (a lunchtime staple) doesn’t have a straw in it yet. 

It’s freaking him out, quite frankly. He stares at you, waving a hand in front of your face until you click back into reality. You jump in your skin at the sight of him before taking a deep breath once you’ve realized who’s in front of you. 

“Oh. It’s just you. Sorry,” You say, immediately going for your juice. See? “What did you say?” 

He sighs, sitting down next to you with his own lunch. Nothing special, something his mom likes to pack when he’s at home - though he doesn’t often take it. He opens up his own tin, taking chopsticks out attached from the top. 

“I asked why you looked like that.” 

“Like what?” 

“Like someone just died.” 

You look at him morbidly, clasping your hands and leaning forward with your elbows on your knees. 

“My midterm grades,” You say solemnly, voice wavering ever so slightly “They’re detestable. A shame to my bloodline.” 

Rin looks at you plainly. 

“Aren’t you an idiot to begin with?” 

“Hey! I’ll have you know I’m average. Super average. But I scored even lower than usual and I’m concerned. I need to do well on the next one and on my entrance exams.” 

Oh, right. Rin forgot since he has no plans to take any. 

“Do you know what you want to do for college?” He asks, mostly out of obligation. 

“I want to study journalism.” There’s a wispiness to your way of speaking. It gives the air a sentimental feel. “There’s a private university with a good program I want to get into but they’re kind of tough. So I have to focus and do well,” 

“What subject are you struggling with?” 

You deflate all over again. 

“Chemistry and Classical Japanese,” 

Rin does well in both subjects. He thinks it over, and decides he can consider this payback. That’s all it is. He’s never liked owing people for favors and while you say this much is enough - Rin can rest assured about your little deal if he’s actually been of use to you in return. He remains impassive as he takes a sip of water. 

“Do you want me to help you study?” 

You turn to him immediately, suddenly full of life. He doesn’t like the gleam in your eyes, an immediate regret settling in as he stares at you, eyes full of disdain. You don’t hesitate grabbing his hand, putting it to your forehead and bowing deeply as you face him. You’re like a fly that keeps buzzing around him. 

“Are you serious? Really? Forreal? Do you mean it?” 

“If you keep being  a dipshit I’m going to take it back,” 

You pull away, hands folded in your lap, going stone faced.

“I would be very grateful,” You say, hands clasped in front of your face. He rolls his eyes. 

“Don’t get the wrong idea,” He says bluntly, staring out into space “I just don’t want to owe you any favors.” 

This you laugh at, leaning back on the wall behind you - with your legs stretched out. 

“Don’t worry,” You reply, self-assured. “Somehow, you asking me to study with you so innocently really cements it in that you don’t have a shred of affection for me.” 

Something in him stirs. He ignores it. 

“Never in a million years.” 

You laugh light-heartedly. 

“You’re so cold to me, Itoshi-kun.” 

“You still call me that.” He grimaces. You stare at him confused. 

“How else would I call you?” 

“When you use my last name it reminds me of my brother,” 

“...Are you implying I should use your first name?” 

Oh. Shit. That is what he sort of said, isn’t it? 

“No,” He denies, somehow unable to come up with anything worthwhile “Don’t address me at all.” 

“Eh? But that’s impossible? I can try but,” 

Only an idiot like you would think to actually try. He shakes his head. It’s no good after all. 

“Shut up,” He decides, because there’s not anything else he can think to say “We can study at the library.” 

You’re quick to reject the proposal. 

“We have to pick somewhere else. Like a cafe or something,” You say, not looking at him. You have your phone pulled up now, looking for places nearby. He’s lost again. 

“What? Why? Isn’t it easier if it’s at school?” 

You glance over at him wide-eyed, before suddenly smiling. It’s a knowing smile, almost like you feel sorry for him. He wants to ask why you look like that. It’s weirdly guarded and he hates that from you. He stares at you, trying to will you to explain yourself. You’re good at reading his thoughts, frustratingly enough, so he’s not accustomed to asking. 

Which means your lack of answer is deliberate, and even with the pressure he’s putting on you, you don’t budge.

“Trust me on this one,” You voice light and airy. “It’s better if we find somewhere away from school, too. There’s still some time to look, so no rush.” 

He lets it go because he doesn’t have any other choice. Lunch passes and you talk like everything's normal.

The question lingers in the back of his mind. 

__ 

Rin spends most of his time between classes watching soccer. If he has some free time on his day off, he’ll look for a new movie to watch. There’s a new foreign film coming out from a director who he really likes and he’s just finished watching the trailer.

Thirsty, with nothing to do - he stands to his feet and briefly surveys the classroom. He wants a drink and there’s a vending machine down the hallway with a sports drink that tastes like..something. 

His airpods are close to being dead so there’s no music as he makes his way. He’s not a fan of being forced to listen to the chatter of the general populace so it’s not that hard to ignore.  

It catches his attention when he hears your name in passing before turning the corner of the hall. It stops him dead in his tracks, something tense left in the syllables after . He doesn’t know why he stopped, not exactly. He figured it’d be annoying if his presence caused a ruckus. 

He’s used to people talking about you, though they usually describe you as a busybody. The Senpai who’s everywhere. A hand in every jar, or something like that. But there’s a tone to that, mild amusement - never malice, that Rin is more than accustomed to. 

This is not that, he notices. He leans on the wall and listens. A group of girls. Some of the voices he recognizes. They’re from the third year classroom down the hall. 

“It’s like, I don’t know,”  Eto-san, he thinks. She’s come up to him before, more times than he can really count on one hand. Rin knows the type. Kind but not really. To the point it’s hard for anyone to call her out on it. “It’s weird how much she hangs around him. She’s not a bad girl or anything,” 

The addition makes Rin’s eye twitch. Yeah. He’s very familiar with this type. He keeps listening. Another voice, but he has no idea who this one is. 

“Really? But Senpai is pretty kind to me,” 

“Mm, I guess so. I just wonder if it makes Itoshi-kun uncomfortable, you know? With pushy people like that, it doesn’t matter how blunt you are. I just worry about him a bit.” 

If it wasn’t so annoying to listen in, Rin would laugh. He’s never understood girls. Especially not highschool ones. He doesn’t pay attention to that kind of social hierarchical shit to begin with, only forced to acknowledge it because other people do. None of it matters to him.

He does think back to what you said a week ago, about finding a place away from school to study. It clicks. You probably know they talk about you like this. Or you could surmise this outcome. Rin should expect that level of awareness from you. Sincere. Always attuned to everyone. Of course this is something you know but he doesn’t. 

Why didn’t you tell him? That’s annoying. It’s nothing he couldn’t deal with knowing. He would’ve got it if you explained it earlier. 

“Oh wow, you really care about him Eto-san,” 

There’s a soft chuckle that makes Rin annoyed. Is he supposed to feel grateful? They’ve barely spoken to each other.

“It’s not like that. It must be hard since he missed second year, that’s all.” 

With that, Rin decides to turn the corner. 

He’s a little pleased at the reaction. How everyone goes into complete silence when he arrives. He spares her a glance as he moves towards the vending machines, clicking in the buttons. A generic sports drink comes tumbling out of the bottom, and Rin grabs it with deliberate slowness - drawing out the unease. 

Eto-san gives him a blank stare before suddenly looking cheerful. She seems a little panicked, quickly trying to make conversation with him. The words don’t reach his ears as he stares down at her expressionlessly.

“Are you done?”  He says, ice-cold. She stutters at that. Rin suppresses a smile. 

“Oh, uhm, yeah. Sorry, were you busy?” 

“Yeah,” He says back, completely apathetic. 

He doesn’t plan on saying anymore in the first place. The little victories count. 

It does feel like some kind of magic when he hears your voice from the other end of the hallway. You’re practically shouting it, and following is the sound of the hall monitors telling you off for running as you barrel toward him full speed. He can hear the thud of your sneakers all the way till they skid to a stop. 

You’re out of breath, bent over your knees and messy as you put a hand up. Most times, he would be embarrassed. He’d even tell you off for being such an idiot. Right now, he finds the corners of his lips upturned as he stares at you from where you stand. 

“Oh, hey guys. Sorry, I had some business with this guy. Oh, Fujita-chan, your hair is cute today! I like how it looks up on you,”  You say, to the girl who was calling you kind just a minute ago “I hope he wasn’t too cruel to you. He’s actually afraid of women, it’s a generational curse. Every night he turns into a frog and—” 

You shuffle in front him, arms stretched out like a shield. He sticks his leg out and kicks your shin. You yelp in pain. 

“What the hell are you talking about? Shut up.” 

“Ow, you strong bastard. You’re a soccer player, please be more conscious of your kicks. What if you shattered my shin? I know you’re loaded but it’s the principle of the thing, you know—” 

“Stop talking or I’ll kick you a second time.” 

You go silent immediately. 

“Forgive me, Itoshi-sama. I’ve strayed from the path of righteousness. Alas, the people need you.” You say, turning around. 

“Speak clearly.” 

“Homeroom teacher wanted to double check with you about after graduation plans and told me to go get you.” 

“Why you?”

“I was already walking around for the newspaper club.” 

He nods, not needing any more explanation. 

“H-hey, aren’t you acting too friendly with him?” 

So she decided to speak. This makes you falter, just a little, and Rin detests the look of self-satisfaction on her face. He speaks this time. It’s not like he can’t fight any of his own battles. 

“It’s fine,” He says, not bothering to think about it. He looks at you, as you stare back at him where he stands, wide-eyed. Idiot. “I don’t mind.”

You grin at him. Big and rounded and stupid, with all of your teeth like you’re giddy. If the hallway monitor wasn’t up your ass, he figures you’d be skipping about now. You usher him into the hall, back where he came from, waving them off.

“Be seeing you guys, then! Bye!” 

And you’re off. It’s quiet until you’re both completely out of ear-shot. Before he can go any further you stand in front of him, hands behind your back with a dumb look on your face. He already knows what you’re going to say. 

“Hey. I really like you a lot. Just now… my heart was fluttering. I thought I was hallucinating,” 

“You’re a moron,” 

“Ahhh, what should I do? I’m all hot under the collar. Is this what it’s like being a maiden in love? It’s great.” 

“How can you say that knowing I’ve already rejected you?” 

“It’s because you’ve rejected me, I can say that.” 

And Rin doesn't really get it. He’s not sure he ever will. 

But you seem happy enough. He decides against prying. 

__

Somehow, you’ve ended up at Rin’s house. 

He doesn’t know how it happened. Really. 

He mentioned to his mother off-handedly that he needed to help someone study. He should’ve lied about it then, but coming off of running drills makes him pretty stupid. He uses most of his brain power when he trains. So in an altered state of mind due to dehydration, hunger and general exhaustion - he answered  honestly instead of lying. 

You’re helping someone study? Yes, they’re from my class. 

Is it a boy or a girl? A girl. We’re friends. 

You can’t study at the library? She doesn’t want to, so we’re trying to find somewhere else. 

Why not invite her here, if her parents are okay with it? Her parent’s don’t really pay enough attention to be bothered. 

Wait, what is he saying? 

Rin doesn’t know how it happened. Really. Really. He tried pretty hard to reject his mothers advances about the situation but he’s never been one to upset her. The whole thing with Sae really tore her up so they both had a silent agreement to try and get along at home. And since Rin is still living at home for now, he tries harder to listen to her. Even so, he wasn’t planning on yielding for this one. 

Rin is not immune to his mothers guilt. A long lecture about how her only sons never cared about anything but soccer and how she’s worried she’s never going to have grandchildren later, he finally gave in and gave you a call at his dinner table. 

He was hoping you would come through and reject the offer. Say something stupid about how that’s dangerous territory for a young girl in love and let his mom down gently. He forgot about your whole thing about responsibility and being a nice girl who gets along well with adults. 

And now, the door is ringing and Rin knows he’s going to open it to you. He mostly blames himself for not thinking ahead.

Rin opens the door on a Saturday afternoon and the first thing he thinks is that you’re not wearing your uniform. 

You look…different. It’s weird. Your hair is styled in an unusual way, tied with something like ribbon. You’re wearing something flowy and loose but the neck is a little rounder than usual. There’s a necklace there, a heart-pendant with a chain. You have in...earrings. 

Rin thinks vaguely that you look…something. He doesn’t know. But in his vision you’re like a troublesome and amorphous blob that yammers on about nothing. And right now you look…not like that. 

“You’re dressed up.” Are the first words to come out of his mouth. You blink at him owlishly.

“Oh. Yeah. I wanted to make a good impression on your mom so I tried not to look sloppy.” You say sheepishly. He leans against the doorframe. 

“She doesn’t care about stuff like that.” 

“Well I do, okay? Now, can I come in?” 

“The white slippers are for you.”

He steps aside and lets you in. You have perfect manners. He probably should’ve expected that. You take your shoes off neatly and place them on the rack the same way, slipping your feet into the slippers provided. Rin just watches, eyes tracing the curve of your neck. 

“Where’s your mom?” You ask.

“In the kitchen making dinner. You’re staying for dinner right?” 

You blink at him, surprised. 

“I mean it’s not like I can’t.” 

“She’d be upset if you didn’t.” He says noncommittally before walking you down to the kitchen. 

His mother is right where he expects. He stands in the corner as you shuffle in watching on. She turns around to look at you, wiping her hands on her apron. 

“Oh, my, you must be Rin’s friend? Such a lovely girl. Welcome! Welcome.” 

To this, you bow your head as deep as it can go. The air around you feels serious. Rin scoffs internally. There’s a strange feeling in his chest that he can’t describe, seeing you bowing in front of his mom. An itch he can’t reach, locked tight around his ribs. 

You give his mother your name first and she smiles like she’s absolutely delighted just hearing it. 

“Thank you for having me. I brought some fruit with me as a gift, I hope that’s alright.” 

His mom shoots him a look that Rin deflects by turning away, opening the plastic bag you’ve handed to her. 

“Oh my! Aren’t these expensive fruits? Please thank your parents for me!” 

“Oh no, don’t worry about that. I work part-time, so I paid for them myself. It was the least I could do. I’m grateful for the tutoring.” 

You tense up, realizing that might’ve been an awkward thing to say. It isn’t. Even if it was, Rin’s mother has always been soft-hearted. His dad tells him they’re a lot alike but Rin doesn’t see it. Whatever it may be, Rin’s mom is too doting and too sociable to let you feel bad. Right now she seems emotional, an expression between empathy and pride. She reaches for you like it’s the most natural thing in the world, patting your head gently.

“How diligent. Thank you, then, for the fruit.” 

Rin can’t see your face but it’s easy to picture. 

“Of course. And pardon the intrusion! And uhm, thank you for having me for dinner.” 

Clumsy. Rin thinks you’re clumsy. A flickering light. His mom laughs brightly and tells you not to worry. She leans in closer like she’s whispering but Rin can hear her loud and clear. 

“Rin can be very brash but he’s a good boy, so thank you for being kind to him.” 

He feels embarrassed. Even readies himself to intervene. 

“He is very kind to me.” 

Wait. What?

His mom smiles even brighter, and mouths something like ‘take care of her’ when you’re not looking. He wants to stop it before it starts. You’re not dating. You’re hardly even friends, you’re just here to study. Rin almost wants to shout it, but he’s stuck. Before he can do any of that, you’re turning around and smiling like you haven’t said anything strange. 

What do you mean he’s kind to you? When his whole thing is rejecting you mercilessly? Being cruel?

What kind of person would ever describe him as kind? 

He can’t find the words he wants to say, so he takes you to his room in silence. 

__

You both make it to Rin’s room in one piece.

You’ve been studying now for about an hour. Given your personality, Rin was expecting more of a fuss. He thought you’d make some comment about being in a boys room and then fight off the actual studying like the plague. 

Much to his surprise, you started studying with him right away. Rin tries his best to tutor you, though he does make fun of you in the process. But you’re a try-hard all the same, stopping only to ask questions and get clarification occasionally.

You’ve been focused that whole time, miraculously enough. Rin studies too, but only a bit, after deciding to study some recent matches instead. 

( Every now and again, he’ll glance at you. Just to see if you’re stuck or still working. Each time, he gets caught up on the fact you’re not in your uniform and has to tear his eyes away. ) 

After a bout of silence, you yawn out loud, quietly shutting your workbook. 

“I’ve finished all my practice problems for today,” You announce, before deciding to lay down on his floor “I’m beat.” 

“I thought you were gonna give up before you started.”  Rin admits. You frown at him. 

“I was serious about needing tutoring. Thanks for all your help.” 

“I already told you it’s fine. Is there anything else? Finals are next week.” 

You shake your head. 

“Mm, I don’t think so. One of the guys from the newspaper club helped me with math so I’ll be okay.” 

…Huh? 

“From the newspaper club?” 

“Huh? Yeah. Murata-senpai. We’re in the same year. He’s a few months older so he insists on making me call him Senpai.” 

“And he helped you with math?” 

“Yeah. He was a delinquent like, all of first year but he really cleaned up his act. He’s actually really gentle.”

Rin frowns at that. 

“Do people usually describe delinquents as gentle?”  

You make a noise of indignance from where you’re laid on his floor. 

“Hey. Murata-senpai is really nice, okay? And he is gentle, so I won’t tolerate your usual judginess.” 

Rin rolls his eyes. 

“How’d you even meet him?” 

“Uh…I wanted to write a column about him, basically. He was helping in the garden last year and I kinda…stalked him. It sounds worse than it is. I just wanted to know what made him change.” 

“So stalking people is pretty typical for you.” 

You sit up and gape at him. Rin suppresses a laugh. 

“Anyways. I eventually flagged him down for an interview. Apparently, he had a real scare with his granny getting sick and decided he needed to cut the shit. He’s a good guy. He joined the newspaper club after the interview,” 

“After the interview…?” 

You nod, leaning forward with your elbows on the table in front of you. 

“Uh-huh. Said he was interested because of my passion or something. He’s been really nice to me ever since and helps me with all of the ideas I have.” You soften as you talk about it. Rin feels an ugly emotion in his chest “I’m worried about what will happen to the club after graduation, but Senpai is always encouraging me to make the most out of the time we still have. So I’m really thankful for him. That’s why you have to be nice.” 

Rin is super annoyed. He doesn’t know why he’s so annoyed but he is. How do you not realize this guy likes you? He doesn’t know why he’s opening his mouth to tell you what’s so obvious. It’s not like it really matters. Rin doesn’t like you in the first place, so if he informs you that your beloved Murata-senpai has feelings for you - it’s no big deal. 

In fact it might be better for everyone if you realize. He’s just frustrated by how clueless you can be sometimes. 

“He’s interested in you,” Rin says, against his better judgment. It feels like the words are welling up in his throat “Your senpai or whatever.” 

You blink at him stupidly. He wonders if you’re wearing mascara. 

“Huh? I doubt that somehow. Senpai is kind to me but I think he sees me like a little sister.” 

He scoffs at you. 

“You would think that. Most guys aren’t just nice to girls they don’t like.” 

“Not everyone is like you, yanno.” You say back without thinking twice. That’s not the point this time, he wants to say. And he’s right for this one. Anyone else with half of a brain would realize. You’re just… you. Which means you’re absolutely unaware of things pertaining to you. It’s the only reason he can think you’d deny something so obvious. 

The only reason you could come to the house of a boy you liked just to study. 

“Shut up. I’m saying this because you’re too much of a dumbass to put it together on your own. The guy definitely likes you.” 

“I didn’t know you were a love guru,” You say sarcastically, sticking your tongue out at him. Childish. Annoying “It doesn’t matter if he does.” 

“Why wouldn’t it matter?” 

You give him an incredulous look. 

“Unfortunately my heart is captured by an aloof sportsman.” 

He doesn’t know why he feels relieved when you say that. He feels his heart all the way in his throat like he’s going to throw it up, even though his expression remains impassive. 

“You already know I don’t like you, though. It’s a good opportunity, isn’t it? Don’t a lot of people move on that way.”

You shake your head. 

“I’m not that sort of wishy-washy woman.” You reply, huffing your chest up and trying to ease the tension. You stop to shake your head, a small smile on your face. “You wouldn’t get it even if I explained.” 

“It’s annoying when you do that,” Rin voices, not bothering to cut it any other way “You did that with the girls at school too. I’m never gonna get it if you don’t bother explaining it to me.” 

You soften at this, then whisper. 

“...Why do you care?” But it’s not said with any malice. It’s not said sadly either. Just curious. He freezes, but doesn’t let it show. He wants to ask himself the same question. 

“I don’t. It’s just,” And he scoffs, not looking at your face “It’s a pain.” 

You hum, not expecting more of an answer. 

“I want to treasure my own feelings towards you,” You say, and something in Rin feels like it’s being set on fire. “It’s not just about having a boyfriend. If it was, then I’d consider Senpai's feelings.” 

“...So it’s about me, specifically?” 

“Yeah,” You say without offering any more explanation than that “It is. I like you.”

The words but why, linger in the air. You seem to be feeling merciful, as you lean back on your palms and stare up at his ceiling. You wear your heart outside of your body, more often than not. And he thinks that part of you is so hard to get used to. 

“You’re really awkward. And aloof. And you don’t have any friends.” 

“Is this some kind of revenge or…?” 

“But. You’re also sensitive. The more I know you, the more I think you’re kind and well-meaning. You uh, remind me of a cat.” 

He blinks. 

“A cat?” 

“A cat. Sometimes they want their own space. And sometimes they knock your water off your desk for fun. Plus they only really care about people in their own circle,”

“Again, is this—” 

“Let me finish, jeez. They’re solitary creatures. But like when they accept you, they get comfortable. An’ nice . And they look out for you in their own way. To me you’re a lot like that.” 

You give him a smile so warm it makes his back hot. So loud and so vibrant like it burst out of him at any minute. 

“I’ve uh, always been interested in you. I watched you play in Bluelock too. I kept thinking to myself, there’s something about you. I want to know more, even if it’s just a little. Stuff like that.” You talk so quietly yet it’s all Rin can hear. All Rin can see in his vision is you. All Rin can think about is you. “I’ve always been interested in other peoples stories.  So I thought, what a waste it would be, to throw away that feeling because of something like love or like. I thought, ‘What's your story, Itoshi Rin?’” 

Rin doesn’t know what to say so he chooses to say nothing. 

“When I confessed, I knew you would never like me. Because that’s just the sort of person everyone says you are. Still, what a waste, right? You miss all the shots you don’t take or whatever. So, I wanted to get to know you. I guess.”  

“I don’t get it. I get what you’re like but it still doesn’t make any sense. There’s nothing special to know, is there?” 

“Feeling that is special, don’t you think? That’s a special reason to me.” 

He doesn’t follow. You laugh lightly. 

“If I never became interested in Murata-senpai’s story, I would’ve never been his friend. If I gave up on trying to know you, just because you didn’t return to my one-sided feelings, then I would’ve never gotten to know you either. Don’t you think that’s a waste?” 

Rin doesn’t know. He’s never really cared about it. He’s rejected so many confessions and never once thought enough about any of them in any depth. That part of you is foreign. He can chalk it up to a difference in character. He can’t understand wanting to know someone just because. 

(Or maybe he can. He just hasn’t until now. Until this very moment, suspended in time. Where he wants to know what things make you the way you are.) 

Some small, dark part of him wants to ask why. Over and over until his throat feels raw - long enough to understand it. Even as he grips onto that desire so tight, with such bruising force, the words sit in his mouth. They taste like iron. They taste like a bitten tongue. If you’ve watched him all this time, then you know. Being chosen. He’s never been confident in that. Rin wants to ask, why him? 

What’s so special? Enough to keep talking to him? Enough to do any of this? Is getting to know people is always this difficult, he wonders. Does it always feel uncomfortable to be in proximity with someone? 

In the end, he can’t bring himself to ask. He can’t even bear to examine it in himself, the sense of dread washing over him like sickness. He’s nauseous. And this time, there’s a residue of tension he’s finding increasingly difficult to ignore. 

You come through again. He wonders if you can read his mind just like you do with all the nobodies at school. 

“Rin-kun,” You say, your voice like the summer heat. “Getting to know you makes me feel like my feelings aren’t a waste. I’m happy getting to know you. I want to treasure that.” 

What happens when you run out of things to know? The question is too heavy. He settles on a different one. He wants to understand it more. Just to put himself at ease. 

“Isn’t being in the same room with someone who rejected you uncomfortable?” 

“Maybe. But there’s a clear line for me and you, so it’s cool. In like, ten years, maybe someone will interview me about you. As your classmate and stuff. And I’ll go - ‘He’s actually a really nice guy. I actually had a crush on him.’ If I can say that, without being regretful, then that’ll be enough for me.” 

“That’ll be enough for you? Really?” 

“Really.” 

“You’re so weird.” He says, unsure of what else he could possibly say. You giggle, and lay back down on his floor. 

“I knew you’d say that.” 

__ 

Summer comes. 

It doesn’t occur to Rin how often he sees you in school until it all comes to  a halt. He has your number, and you text him often - about unimportant and trivial shit that you think of. In that way, it doesn’t even really feel like you’ve separated. 

But the sudden absence of your chattering in his life makes everything feel especially quiet. Summer is a boring time for Rin. It’s mostly the same. Practicing and playing and studying. On the few occasions he’s been out, it’s because some of the other Bluelock members are gathering and refuse to let him know even a breath of peace.

He’s seen Sae now, though they never really talk about anything. Sort of just look at each other and exchange enough words that their mom doesn’t cry before going back to their room. Sae will be gone before school starts back up again, so Rin isn’t all that worried about it. 

It occurs to Rin for the first time that this summer will be the last of his highschool days. He’s never been sentimental about stuff like that - so he figures you’re to blame for these sudden thoughts. 

Your summer has been a lot busier than his. He should probably expect this from you by now, but your surprisingly youthful social life always shocks him. You’ve been working part-time as usual. In that time though, you’ve also been to the beach and been on an overnight trip to Osaka with your newspaper club. 

(Rin wasn’t happy to hear about this. He was relieved to know it was with a teacher and that you roomed with a girl. But still, not exactly his favorite of anecdotes for the summer.) 

You’ve invited Rin more than once to come hang out with you, but he’s basically always declined. The group setting is troublesome, but being alone with you feels even worse somehow. It wouldn’t be a date, obviously, but it would be something. Something deliberate. 

Rin doesn’t know if he can come see you in good faith for such a reason. 

It’s another day spent doing his usual. Being technical, it’s a rest day, which means he’s only allowed to stretch. He has done his basics. Studied, messed around with his ball, responded to a barrage of texts from Bachira and Isagi. He played games for a while, checking out a new horror game before deciding it’d be best not to get too sucked in so he has something to play next time. 

After all that, during a mid-August day while Rin sits on his couch and watches T.V., he receives a facetime call from you for the very first time. At first, he just lets it ring. But when it keeps ringing - he figures your persistence is going to continue unless he replies. 

He looks around. No one's home, so he doesn’t need to go to his room. He swipes, and the call connects. The screen shows him, propped up against something with a full shot of your room. You’re turned away from the camera. Rin just stares. 

“Oh, shit - did you actually pick up?” 

“Should I hang up.” 

“No! No, I just wasn’t expecting you. Don’t hang up. I need a guy's opinion.” 

“What? What for?” 

“I got in a fight with my brother about a dress I bought,” You say, exasperated, and Rin is surprised because you hardly see him. “I know he’s probably looking out for me but I don’t think we talk enough for him to be telling me how to dress.” 

“He’s older than you, right? Maybe you should listen to him.” 

“You’re the last person I want to hear that from. Either way, I’m not a kid. I’m already 18 and I’m going to college. It’s a cute dress! I feel like it’s fine.”

“So..why’d you call me again?” 

“I’m gonna try it on and show you. Murata-senpai is busy.” 

“You shouldn’t do that to a guy who likes you.” Rin deadpans. You laugh.

“Shut up. I really need an opinion. I wanted to wear it to go out today so if it’s actually too provocative then I have to change my outfit.” 

“Where are you even going?” 

“My friend needs to get a concealer, so probably the mall or something. After that I’ll go buy some stationary.” 

“Alone? What about your friend?” 

“She’s gonna go see her boyfriend.” 

“Why can’t you just go with them? Or ask them to go with you” 

“And third wheel? I’m good. I just need some stationary and then I’ll be home. Easy peasy. Anyway, what’s with the interrogation?” 

“It’s not interrogation.” He insists. You’re offscreen so Rin can’t see you, but he can hear the sound of a zipper echo in the speakers. He’s also sure you’re rolling your eyes. 

When you come on camera, the dress of the hour is on display. Rin’s first thought is to tell you to take it off. It is too provocative to him. The front is fine as is, but it’s nearly backless and it’s cut too high on your thighs. He’s never seen so much of your skin. Maybe that’s a given, since he didn’t go to the beach with you either. 

You give him a quick spin, before patting the front down. You say something, but the words don’t register. It feels like his brain is full of cotton or something. 

“So? Too much? I mean it’s backless but like. I don’t know, it’s kind of loose? And the sleeves are long. Neckline isn’t that bad, either.” 

Rin just says what he thinks “You shouldn’t go out alone wearing it.” 

You frown at him. 

“That’s not helpful, Rin-kun.” 

“It’s…fine. What time does your friend have to go?” 

“Probably right after we’re done.” 

He sighs. 

“Tell her to go with her boyfriend early. I’ll come with you to get your stationary.” 

“Wait, what? Did I hear that right? You’re coming to get me? After I’ve been hounding you to hang out? What’s with the change of heart?” 

“I don’t have anything to do since it’s a rest day. You need stuff and I don’t think you should be out alone. Don’t read into it.” 

“Kinda hard not too but I’m not gonna complain. Are you coming right now?” 

“Yeah. Send me your address.” 

__ 

Rin has no idea what impulse has brought him here. 

That’s not entirely true. What brought him to your apartment towards the end of summer is impulse. He acted on nothing but impulse.

Rin, for better or for worse, finds that you’re clueless about yourself. The fact you were going to call Murata-senpai is already bothering him enough. That, along with the fact you wore the dress and didn’t think it was too short is troubling. It’s not that Rin wants to tell you what not to wear. He doesn’t have the right but you did ask. 

Anyway, it’s a lot less agitating if you’re being accompanied while wearing it. Going alone in something like that, even if it’s the middle of summer, would be stupid.  

Rin doesn’t make it a habit of worrying about the outfits of girls he doesn’t know. He does know you though. He thinks you’d be really annoying if something happened and you got upset about it. So, all he’s doing is preventing that outcome. It’s nothing more than that. 

He knocks on your door as he shakes the thoughts out of his head, and he’s greeted by a man in his late twenties. It dawns on Rin that this is your brother. He really didn’t think this through. 

Your brother is an imposing person. He’s a head taller than Rin with a gruff voice and a scar on his cheek. Rin stares at him blankly. 

“Who are you?” 

“Itoshi Rin. I’m here for—” 

“Nii-san, tell Rin-kun to come inside and sit! I’m not done getting ready.” 

Your brother glares at him. 

“Who’s he? Your boyfriend? Is that why—” 

You come stumbling out of your room, half-dressed and Rin immediately averts his eyes. This is the most uncomfortable experience of his life.

“He’s not my boyfriend. He already rejected me, so we’re just friends. Stop fussing and let him in, it’s hot out.” 

“He rejected you?” 

Rin should just leave. 

“I already knew he was going to. Now move,” 

Rin doesn’t enjoy being involved in your sibling quarrel. Suddenly, he feels a twinge of regret about some old Bluelock memories. He understands it now more than ever, gaining a little empathy. 

Your brother moves out of the way. You’re standing in the hall, with a single stocking on and powder on your face he’s pretty sure is meant to be brushed. You grin at him. 

“Sorry! I won’t be long, promise. You got here faster than I thought you would.” 

Rin can feel a pair of eyes in the back of his skull. 

“Uh. Yeah. I took the bus so it was quick.” 

“It might be uncomfortable here. Do you wanna sit in my room instead? It’s colder but it’s kind of a mess—” 

“He can sit here.”  Your brother insists. Rin is never leaving his house again. You frown. 

“Didn’t I already tell you we’re not dating? He’s not even interested in me, it’s not like anything is gonna happen.” 

“It’s the principle of it.”  Yeah. Definitely siblings. 

“Whatever. If you make him uncomfortable, I’m gonna yell at you. Rin-kun, sorry. Do you need anything? Juice? Water?” 

Your hospitality throws him off. You’re different at home. 

“Uh. No. I’m okay.” 

“Okay, then I’ll hurry and get dressed. Nii-san, please be civil.” 

With that, you flounce back up to your room. Your brother is staring hard in Rin’s direction. He’s not intimidated. It’s just… so awkward it’s kind of unbearable for him. What do people usually do in this situation? Rin’s not exactly the sociable type.

“She confessed to you?” 

Rin is startled. 

“Uh. Yeah. In April.” 

“And you’re friends?” 

“She asked to be friends.” 

Your brother looks distressed. 

“I don’t understand that girl at all.” 

Rin doesn't either. 

“What’s she like in school?” 

Rin stares. Oh. He’s that kind of older brother. 

“Uh. Busy. She’s in the newspaper club so she’s always doing something. She has a lot of friends and gets along with our class.” 

“I see…that’s good. I’m always worried about her. Our family has  always been busy and I moved out when I was 18 so… we don’t see much of each other. She doesn’t talk about herself that much either.” 

Rin nods absently. What circle of hell is this? 

“She probably thinks I’m just being overprotective,” Bullseye “But I just worry she grew up too fast.” 

Rin thinks if he were a different kind of guy, now would be the time he gives your older brother an encouraging heart to heart. The script is there. It’s just not how he honestly feels. Rin doesn’t take pleasure in defending you. But it’s hypocritical and a little ridiculous to hear it from him.

Some of it is leftover resentment from Sae. The rest is knowing you.

You did grow up too fast. From what he knows about teenage girls, they’re supposed to be…meaner. More hysterical. More inconsiderate. Less responsible and more in the moment. Messy. All teenagers are, really. 

For all the ways you are clumsy and ridiculous, sometimes Rin thinks you’re too off-puttingly mature. It wouldn’t kill you to be more selfish. To be just a little less self-reliant. It’s not normal is it? To be so grateful for things you’re owed. It bothers him. Always has. 

Rin knows what the script is. But it bothers him. 

“If you know that then you don’t really have any right to intervene,” Rin says bluntly. “Suddenly acting protective and considerate when she grew up on her own  is just going to feel stifling. Aren’t you just trying to make yourself feel better?” 

He looks surprised by his answer. Hurt too. 

“I guess that’s right,” 

He frowns. 

“If you actually care, just be honest. She’s not the type of person to turn someone away on a grudge.” 

Before Rin can feel embarrassed about what he’s said, you come stumbling down the steps all dressed up. Your brother gives you a look. 

“Do you need any money?” 

You look at him confused then shake your head no. 

“Okay. Stay safe and have fun.” 

He turns to leave. You watch him go. Rin puts his hands in his pockets like he’s trying to wipe himself of it. 

“Weird… anyways. Ready to go?” 

“Yeah.” 

__ 

Your outing goes well. 

Outing. Not a date. No matter how many times people mistake you two for being on a date today - it was nothing more than an outing. 

You start with stationary for the upcoming term, then you drag Rin to the mall because you need some more clothes. After that, you go into a bookstore to pick up some manga. Rin has fun there because he gets to pick out some new releases and you bond mutually over your tastes. Rin learns both like thrillers. You spend a lot of time together, reading over his shoulder. 

It’s not a date. But it wasn’t bad. He’s so used to talking to you that the entire situation doesn’t feel uncomfortable at all. You’re funnier than he’s usually willing to give you credit for. Doing all that, plus train rides, makes it so you’re not home until sundown. You, however, refuse to end the night without having some kind of treat. After a lot of begging Rin to cheat on his meal plan, the two of you get ice-cream and you drag Rin to a local playground. Apparently you bring your neighbors' kids here sometimes. 

Now he’s here.  Sitting on swings with ice-cream and it is still not a date. Rin has no opinions on the day but you’re practically bursting at the seams with happiness. The dress you’re wearing is hiking up on your thigh from how you’re sitting. He was right to accompany you, by the way. The amount of creeps he’s had to stare down today alone is outright disgusting. 

Rin takes a spoonful of ice-cream and lets it melt in his mouth. You let your feet hit the mulch beneath you as you lick the ice-cream carefully - trying desperately not to let it spill on your hand. He watches on in amusement. After you finally get a handle on it, you give him a small look. 

“I had fun today,” You say sentimentally. Rin feels his stomach tie in knots “Thank you.”

He frowns. 

“Gross. Stop that.” 

“Aw, c’mon. You’re so edgy. Just admit you had fun! You had a fantastic and whimsical time.” 

He gives you an unimpressed stare. 

“Really? Nothing? You’re not feeling the flames of youthful joy in your loins at all?” 

“Describing it like that is disgusting.” 

“So you admit you know what it is.” 

Rin wants to smile. Fuck, he hates you. 

“...It wasn’t bad.” 

You grin. You’re so annoying.

“Ladies and gents, we got an ‘it wasn’t bad’ from the ever soulless Itoshi Rin!” 

Stupid. So stupid.

“It was more tolerable than hanging out with some of my other dipshit friends.” 

You clasp a hand over your mouth dramatically. 

“Oh…Oh wow… Do you want to try proposing next? The set-up is there. Perfect ambience.” 

His face cracks into a begrudging smile. 

“You’re insufferable.” 

You suddenly go quiet. When Rin looks at you, you’re stunned

“Why’re you being weird?” 

“No, sorry, I was just thinking I really like you,” You say, like it’s the easiest and most natural thing in the world “I’ve never seen you smile before. It’s nice.” 

“...Your ability to say cringy shit like that so easily is astounding to me.” 

“I don’t want to hear this from the guy who unironically uses lukewarm,” You say, biting into your ice-cream cone. Rin blushes. “Besides, nothing wrong with being cringe when you’re in love.” 

“Freak.” 

You give him a thumbs up. 

“One of a kind.” 

There’s a beat of silence. It’s comfortable. Rin eats his too, probably a little slower than he has to. Summer feels heavy in the air. 

“You weren’t always like..an edgelord, right?” 

Rin stares at you, perplexed by how sudden the question is. 

“Where’d you hear that from?” 

“Your mom after dinner. You already went upstairs. Said you had a nasty fight with your brother.” 

He doesn’t say anything, posture stiffening at the mention of Sae. 

“It’s not your business.” 

“Hey. No need for the attitude. I’m curious as your number one fan.” You say, trying to back off as much as possible. Like he’s some kind of feral cat you’re trying to calm. “Don’t be mad, okay? You don’t have to talk about it.” 

You try your best to be soothing and Rin softens 

He is angry. Not at you. Not really.  The mention of Sae just does that to him. And if anyone else even thought to bring it up - he’d probably tell them to go fuck themselves with nothing but bitter hatred. 

With you, there’s not any of that. There’s a lingering sense of hesitance - an internal conflict, but not anger. Rin’s never enjoyed opening his heart to anyone. 

Even so, he feels compelled to tell you, so he does.

“My brothers a dick,” Resentment seeps into his words “He came back from overseas and then basically insulted me for a minute straight. We were always meant to play soccer together but he went through something. He changed. We never talked about it,” 

“What? He insulted you for no reason? That’s so weird. Did you always have a bad relationship?” 

Rin sits with himself quietly. 

“I don’t know if we have one now. We were close as kids. At least.” 

“And he just… came back and started being an asshole to you? Seriously?” 

Rin nods. There’s not much else to the story. Rin’s tried hard not to think about the situation itself. He only uses the feelings that stayed behind to make him better. To give him a reason to play - it’s motivation and nothing more. If he starts to view it too much like what it is, betrayal, he’s afraid everything inside of him will collapse. 

“There’s probably more to it than that,” You conclude thoughtfully. Rin thinks the same “But still. You’re his baby brother. Even if he’s going through something…” 

Rin scoffs “You sound like you’re worried about him.” It comes out more petulantly than he expects 

“Not really. Not as much as I’m worried about you,” You counter, giving him a small smile. Rin feels his heart leap into his throat “I just figure, you know, maybe thinking about it like that would help. You were close right? Your mom said he used to dote on you,” 

Rin nods. He feels his chest swell and tighten. 

“Then…I bet it sucked. I bet it was hard. Or at least, it must’ve been lonely to go through that,” You say, frown deepening “Such a sudden change would be hard for anyone to deal with, I think. It’s okay if you feel like it’s unfair. His reasons aside.” 

You sigh, suddenly, covering your hands with your face. 

“What?” Rin asks. You shake your head. 

“You poor thing. I wanna hug you to death you know. A good squeeze. I’m trying to refrain.” You say, stomping your feet just slightly. He feels a flush crawl up his neck, turning his head to look away. 

“...It’s not like I’m stopping you.” 

He doesn’t have the courage to look at you. Not as he says it, or after to steal a glance of what face you're making. Instead, he hears the metal of the chain and feels the warmth of your body. It’s a tight hug. You’re standing and he’s sitting, your arms around his neck, his face directly against your chest. He widens his eyes. He wants to yell at you for being a defenseless idiot, but the feeling of being hugged so tightly washes the words away. You’re soft…and warm. He’s never been hugged by someone who isn’t his mom or brother before, and he can’t remember the last time either thing happened to him. You pat his head. 

Do you touch people like this often? So casually? Or is he special because you like him, he wants to ask. He wants to ask but doesn’t want to know the answer, pushing the feeling down as deep as he can make it go. He wraps his arms around you loosely, above your waist trying to be respectful.  

But he leans into the warmth. Like it’s something that happens once in a lifetime. 

“Hey, Rin.”  You say, soft. He can feel the warmth of your breath against his hair. 

“Hn.” 

“I hope you kick your brother's ass in soccer.” 

You sound teary. Weirdly, it makes Rin feel better. 

“Yeah.”

__ 

School starts up again during September. 

The autumn season welcomes warm colors, fallen leaves and the sort of cool weather that puts the summer uniforms back up on the hangers. Rin is listening to music when he spots you waiting for him at the gate, waving your hand at him. He has half a mind to ignore you, you’re so embarrassing. 

But before he can pretend not to see, you’re jogging over to him. He has to stand so you don’t end up bumping into him. You walk like you were born backwards, two left feet with such little awareness of your surroundings it stresses Rin out. 

He gives you a blank stare as you smile, securing your bag to your shoulder. 

“Look what the cat dragged in,” You say warmly. Rin pauses to look at you. You look different somehow. Lately you always do, Rin wonders if you’ve picked up some weird shape-shifting in your time apart “Are you excited for the new semester, hm? Hmm?” 

He keeps walking and you fall in step with him. You try but he’s too fast, so he slows just a little. He clicks his teeth, shaking his head, eyes taking in the view of the building in front him.

“Why would I be excited?” 

You shrug. 

“Because winter break  is close? Because there’s fun leaves outside? Because it’s your birthday in 6 days?”

He stops dead in his tracks. 

“What the hell? Why do you know that?” 

“Your mom told me.” You say, skipping along happily to school like you didn’t just say something insane. His frown deepens. 

“You have my moms number? You talk to my mom?” 

“She loves me,” You say casually, turning only to look at him and stick your tongue out “And she’s nice. Get over it.” 

With this, you rush into the building faster, giggling as you leave. Rin, frustrated, stomps after you. 

__

Your time together at lunch continues into fall. It’s the third day of the term, September 6th and you’re sitting by his side. The two of you eat in casual silence now, falling into a regular routine. There’s something about the whole ordeal that makes Rin feel a little funny. 

Friendship, as it stands, is still a lukewarm idea to him. But sprawled out next to you in a comfortable quiet isn’t the worst thing. The weather is cool enough to be nice and the daylight lasts for just the right amount of time to see sunset when he treks back home from practicing shooting into the net. 

That kind of sentimental viewing of his surroundings is a bad habit he’s picked up from you. He can’t seem to shake it off. He’s tried at least, but Rin has been stopping to look at everything nowadays. The sun, the trees, the cars passing. Everything passes right by his life, slowly. 

Eventually, eventually this whole thing will cease. You’ll never see Rin again and he’ll never see you - and you’ll part your separate ways. Thinking about that feels so stifling. But he figures since that’s the case, there’s probably not any harm in letting the time pass like this. As long as he’s still improving. 

Your voice doesn’t catch him off-guard anymore, no matter how loud it is after a long bout of silence. You stuff something into your mouth, a tomato he thinks. 

“Rin-kun,” You start, tilting your head to one-side “Are you doing anything for your birthday?” 

“No.” He answers immediately because he never does. He hasn’t done much since Sae left home and now that he’s a third year and about to be 18, there’s even less of a desire to pull together a party and celebrate. 

“What? Boo. That’s so lame.” 

“Don’t be so childish.” 

“I’m older than you, you dummy,” You say with such automation that Rin doesn’t even get the chance to process “You’re not even gonna have cake? Nothing?” 

“My mom might but I don’t have any plans.” 

“Your mom is so nice.” 

“Stop.” 

You frown at him but don’t say any more.  You look like you have something on your mind. Probably something stupid, but Rin can’t help but wonder what’s making your brow crease so intensely. 

“What?” He snips. You flick your eyes to him and shake your head. 

“I just think it’s a waste,” You say simply, that tone of fondness seeping into it that Rin can’t get used to. “It’s such a big number, you know? A little cake and some show tunes or something would suffice.” 

Rin scoffs. 

“I don’t care about it. It’s pointless to me. Lukewarm” He says, before noticing your genuine sadness. He sighs a little to himself “Stop looking like a depressed mutt.” 

“I’m not a dog.” 

“I guess dogs are more well-trained.’ 

“Hey. Hey, what the hell do you mean by that?” 

He ignores you. 

“Anyway, stop worrying about it.”

You pout. 

“Easier said than done.”. 

__ 

Rin’s morning routine has been the exact same for two years. 

He starts by opening the window, to let fresh air and sunlight come in through the glass. He feels like his room gets stale overnight and it wakes him up to taste the sun in the back of his mouth. He takes a deep breath of it, clearing out his lungs and blinking his eyes open. 

After that he stretches. He unfurls a Bluelock brand yoga mat onto his carpeted floor and gets to his usual cycle. It’s integral for an athlete to keep their muscles stretched, functioning like a well-oiled machine. He has it down pat. He starts from the bottom up, stretching his legs and working up to his arms and shoulders. His legs always come first since he’s a striker, always focusing on the mobility of his calves and foot before he stretches out his thigh.

His core, then his chest and arms. When he’s done with all that - he practices yoga for fifteen minutes. Again with mobility but this time full body, like making sure each of his limbs work with each other without any stops. He’ll sit back down after those minutes are up to meditate for another fifteen - clear his mind of absolutely anything stuck in it. It’s the most peace he gets on any given day. 

At the end, he sits with his feelings. Carefully, he undoes the wrapped clothed box around his heart and stares at it as it sits in his lap. Beating and raw and melancholy blue  - so full of sadness and anger like it could burst at any minute. Revisiting his sadness and rage is a necessity. Sometimes it feels like only sadness. Only monochrome. 

(He wonders if a day will come where that part of his routine is changed. If ever, he’ll unwrap his own heart only to see it pink or golden yellow or even a softer shade of red. He wonders if the colors ever change, or if time will fade them.) 

All of this happens before he even brushes his teeth. The rest of his morning routine is keeping his room neat. He folds the comforter on his bed, puts any dirty clothes away, and gets dressed. He doesn’t really style his hair - it’s so pin straight after washing he normally just has to brush it to keep it nice. 

After that he has breakfast, and checks through his bag. On days he has school he goes to school and comes back to practice. If he’s home alone - he picks one of many other things to do. He tends to practice closer to evening, taking a shower before he goes to sleep. 

On the morning of Rin’s 18th birthday, he’s only really acutely aware of the date. His morning starts the exact same as it has everyday for nearly two years. Nothing to make him feel particularly different. When he looks in the mirror, he still sees his brother's face and when he looks at his heart it’s still a steely, melancholy blue. 

When he comes down stairs, though - there’s a pair of shoes he doesn’t recognize. And there’s a humming traveling down the hall and always the way up towards him that he knows quite well. 

He thinks, for a minute, he might still be dreaming. Why you would be in his house on a Saturday morning makes absolutely no sense otherwise. 

He slips his feet into his gray slippers and treks into the living room, only to find you in view of the open kitchen. There’s a balloon attached to flowers and a spread of fruits on the table. Orange juice in a cold glass. You with his moms borrowed apron, humming contentedly as you bend over the stove. 

Rin doesn’t know what the feeling is. He doesn’t know if he’s irritated or not. Just that it’s so overwhelming to see you in his kitchen, marching to the beat of your own drum like you always do. 

“What the hell are you doing in my house?” 

You startle when you hear his voice, whipping around to face him. Dramatically putting a hand on your chest - you shoot him an unfriendly glare. 

“Well hello to you too.” 

“Answer my question.” He demands. You click your teeth. 

“Well, obviously I’m making breakfast. We’re celebrating your birthday.” 

“Without telling me.” 

You snap your fingers before giving him finger guns “Precisely. Genius deduction, Itoshi-sama.” 

“What the fuck. Where are my parents.” 

“They’re out on a day-trip! It’s a Saturday. They’ll be back here on Sunday afternoon. Read the note.” 

“What were you gonna do if I had last minute plans?” 

“You don’t though?” You say like knowing that is so obvious. He knows you asked but still “I guess I’d turn around and make my own breakfast. Give you your gift at school or something.” 

“Why are you here?” He asks a little softer this time. With a little more emotion, just a touch. He never expects anyone to make a fuss about his birthday. 

Rin doesn’t really ask for much. Certainly wouldn’t ask for this on his own accord. That’s a vain thing to do, right? 

It occurs to Rin that this is the kind of birthday you do for someone you like. Someone you love. You’re always confessing your feelings to him. You only say it when you’re sure. It wasn’t like Rin didn’t know you had feelings for him, because the point of it all had been for you to try and get rid of them. Or honor them, or deal with them in whatever way you saw fit. Rin had agreed on a whim to help you with that. Your friendship had started with the very notion that you liked Itoshi Rin and he didn’t like you back. It’s not some secret. 

When the light pours in through the windows and hits your back and for the first time - Rin understands what the fuss is about being in love is. He’s sure that this strange, grotesque warmth is the aftermath of being liked. He always thought it’d feel more simple. That he’d remain unmoved in the face of it because he was different.

It’s not like he’s unloved. He’s sure his parents love him. His brother did too. Still does, Rin thinks. 

But it’s the first time someone has made their feelings so clear to him. Someone who isn’t supposed to love or like him. And even Rin, chronically apathetic, can’t bring himself to ignore the weight of knowing that. He stares at you, dumbstruck. 

You’re still turned to him. There’s a cool tumbler of iced-coffee sitting on the counter that you sip, head tilted to one side. 

“Well, I don’t know,” You start, a hand on your hip “It just felt like too much of a waste to do nothing on your birthday. But you’re not the kind of guy who likes big celebrations. So I thought maybe just hanging out would be more your speed.”

Rin swallows. “Seriously?” 

“Seriously.”

“Bold thing to assume.” 

You frown back. 

“Well, I was gonna invite Isagi-kun—“

“Isagi? How do you know Isagi?”

“He saw me leaving your house ‘cause he was gonna visit.  After we talked he followed me on Instagram. Anyway, I was gonna invite him and Bachira and all four of us could go to a movie,” You explain as you sigh and go back to the stove “But he said you’d probably just want to hang out with me.” 

“…And he didn’t say anything else?”

“Well he asked if we were dating so I just told him the truth. Really nice guy, by the way.” 

Rin’s going to hound Isagi next time they practice together. 

“So. Now you’re here… doing what exactly?”

“Making you breakfast. I’ll make you ochazuke for lunch later. Haven’t decided on dinner, I thought I’d ask when you woke up. Your mom said you liked traditional breakfast but I didn’t think I’d be done by the time you woke up so there’s fruit.” 

Sure enough, when Rin walks over to the other side of the table - there’s a half done spread of breakfast on the table. All the dining ware is set up neatly, the table arranged so well he feels guilty for not helping. 

“You didn’t have to do all this for me.” Rin tsks, a frown on his expression as he stands next to you. He watches you pour egg into a square pan, slowly evening out the layers. 

“I wanted to,” You reply, not thinking twice about it. “I enjoy cooking for people. It’s fun. I normally just do it to feed myself, so it’s nice to share.” 

He closes his eyes. 

“Thanks.” 

He’s afraid to look over at you, the excitement radiating off of you. It makes him uncomfortable that something so simple could make you so happy. 

“Can you repeat that?” 

“Don’t start.” 

“Rin-chan,” You coo, immediately making him so embarrassed he wants to hit you “You’re so docile today.” 

“I’m gonna kill you.” He says, hitting your shoulder as light as he can. 

“Woah…how romantic. Dying on the day you were born? Jeez. I’m swooning.” 

He looks at you blankly. 

“Stop being gross. Where did you even get that from?” 

“Too many things to count,” You say with a snap. He shakes his head. 

“Is there anything I can help with?” 

“How diligent. It’s fine! It’s your birthday, right? Sit. Eat some fruit. Pick out what you wanna do. I rented some games and there’s some movies I had in mind too. Make your agenda. “

Rin laughs to himself, lightly. 

“Isn’t that supposed to be your job?” 

“Don’t be stingy! I’m already making breakfast.”

Rin rolls his eyes.

“Yeah. Whatever.” 

__

You end up back in Rin’s room. 

After a healthy discussion about what he would like to do - Rin landed on wanting to do both. He picked out a copy of Resident Evil  to play until after lunch and then decided to binge a bunch of movies after. 

You even agree to accompany him while he practices. There’s 24 hours in a day and the plans are nothing more than vague suggestions - but deep down, it makes Rin kind of…well whatever. It’s not a bad plan. 

Currently, you’re sitting at the foot of Rin’s bed with your hands tight around the controller of his PS4. Rin feels a little bad for you. While you do okay with horror movies, the immersion of horror games seems to frighten you enough that your eyes are glued onto the screen. As such, Rin is trying his best not to startle you as you lean forward every so slightly. The leg of your pants is pushed up just barely. You’re dressed cozy, so it’s funny seeing your head shrink into your hoodie. 

“Why the fuck would you set it hardcore if this BOTH of our first times playing,” You whine, turning yourself into the next room carefully on screen “I’m scared.” 

“You’re such a wuss,” He scoffs, leaning back from where he’s sitting next to you on his bed. “We’re never gonna make any progress like this.” 

You stomp your feet and Rin resists the urge to laugh. 

“Shut up, it’s scary.” 

He nudges your shoulder with his knee. 

“Stop complaining. You got to pick the character and I got to pick the difficulty.” 

“I deserve to lust after Leon after the shit I’m getting put through,”

Rin scoffs at your declaration. The irritation is softened when you walk into the backroom faced with a zombie - a short scream leaving your lips as you mash buttons and use your gun to kill it quickly. You manage to dodge as much damage as you can, obviously trying not to waste limited resources. Even so it takes damn near 7 bullets. Despite your cowardice, you’re pretty good at the game. 

You loot the room for any possible supplies then leave. You turn the corner of the isle, a zombie filled gas station awaiting you. You manage to save bullets and stun the one closest to you before getting your shit completely rocked - quick to duck out. The first cut scene of the game comes next where you meet the other main character Claire. You gasp like you’ve been running, shoving the controller towards Rin. 

“Your turn. Move, I wanna sit on your bed.” 

“Why?” 

“Cause it’s a weekend and I have a right to be lazy. Shoo. On the floor.” 

“You’re getting way too comfortable in my house on my birthday.” 

Rin, does, go sit on the floor where you were. Mostly because it’s a better position to play the game in. At least it has minimal back support. The cut scene plays in the background, nothing difficult as the main characters go to the next area - the police station and the technical start of the game. Rin hasn’t played the remake, but he did longingly watch some playthroughs while he was in Bluelock during its release. 

He had never mentioned it to you, so he was shocked you knew enough about it to bring it over. He likes survival horror and he was always wanting to play it. 

“Me and your mom are best friends so I practically live here anyways. Also shut-up and look.” 

He does shut up, too invested in the story to be annoyed.  The main characters get separated and Leon ends up in the streets. 

For whatever reason, he’s conscious about proximity. Your knee next to his shoulder. You’re close enough to touch him casually and he’s wondering…hoping to know if you’re naive enough to do it without thinking. It feels like a stroke of luck, or maybe a form of mind-reading when you reach for his hair with your fingers. He wonders if you’re doing it on purpose. He thinks he should tell you to stop. 

But when you ask “Is this okay?” 

He can’t find the strength in himself to do it. He focuses on the scene in front of him, weaving through the cars to shake off a horde of zombies. Rin grabs the controls, immediately turning around to try and stun a group of zombies before turning into the gate so he can head to the station.

His heart is racing and his eyes almost feel cross from how much he’s focusing but it’s not exactly the game. The game isn’t even that scary, as much as it’s gory he thinks. 

“I don’t care but,” He says through a breath, trying to sound like he means it and that he’s not so conscious of the way your pinky lingers on his nape “when’d you get so touchy?” 

“I like touching you.” You reply, twirling a strand of hair around your fingers “Your hair is so silky and nice. I felt when I gave you a hug that one time and I kept thinking about it.” 

Rin wants to say “Do you think about me that much?” but the words don’t come out how he wants. 

“Do you touch everyone like this?” 

You’re silent for a minute. It takes patience, effort - not to turn his head to see the look on your face. Though he probably knows it. He thinks he just wants affirmation from you. 

“...No. Not really. I just like you.” 

There’s a beat of silence - a pause designated for his rejection, the promise he made to you so many months ago. He knows what the script is. And he’s said it many times before. Not in a million years, right? 

But he can’t bring himself to say it this time, so he doesn’t.

“Yeah. I know.” 

___

Before Rin knows it, the day is coming to a close. 

The entirety of it you spend together, with you faithfully stuck to him and without Rin feeling entirely suffocated. He isn’t sure why it’s so easy with you. Normally this much socialization would render him exhausted. Irritable at best and angry at worst. But he’s not. In fact even after his entire workout routine, he felt fine listening to you ramble. He didn’t need complete silence, but even when there were lulls and dips - it didn’t feel uncomfortable. 

You didn’t get far in Resident Evil 2. Rin decides to cut it short since it’d definitely take a lot longer than all the time you had and there were movies he wanted to watch. When you whine about not being able to finish - he quietly told  you to just come over next time and play it with him then. 

He waited a year, so he can wait a little longer. Your face lit up idiotically, giddy with delight at the promise of next time. As promised, ochazuke was for lunch and after 30 minutes of digestion - he put it out of his mind as he did his daily drills. You joined him, insisting that you’d be fine doing nothing. Sat on the field with a book the entire time even though it was cold, tossing him his things whenever he took a break - smiling each time he talked to you. 

(“You know you don’t actually need to stay with me the entire day.” He reminds you of this as he brings a bottle of water to lips, sweat dripping down the side of his head even in the cool weather. You turn your head up at him. 

“When else am I gonna get to stick by your side all day? This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.” 

“You’re so good at being annoying it’s impressive,” He says, dropping his water bottle back down “Aren’t you bored?” 

“Huh? No way. I have my fun book to keep me company and on top of that I get to see you play in the flesh.” 

Oh, yeah. You mentioned watching him when he was in Bluelock. “Well, it’s not like a match. But I’m not gonna keep asking, so whatever.” 

“Yes, yes - I understand. Now go, shoo.”)

Even though Rin practiced for his usually long amount of hours, you sat with him diligently - even stopping to cheer him on when you needed a break from reading or studying or whatever else you were doing. 

Upon returning, he went to shower and you went to warm up in  the kitchen. After he was redressed and clean, he joined you downstairs to order take-out and have dinner. 

Finally, it’s after dinner and you’ve banished Rin to his room while you set something up downstairs. He’s mostly scrolling twitter, watching soccer highlights from the accounts he follows. He’s just about comfortable when you finally call him back down, which irritates him enough to click his teeth but not enough to bring it up to you. 

After a long day, when Rin finally comes back down stairs, walking down into the hall and back into the living room - he can’t help but be surprised at the change in scenery. All the lights have been turned low, and everything looks different. You’ve taken to decorating a wall of his living room after some rearranging. A white sheet hanging up with something, and a plethora of fairy lights in stripes going down it in a nice pattern. 

There’s a banner and it looks hand-made. It spells out happy birthday, rin in neat, thick blue letters on cut-out white shapes, attached along the back wall. On the table in front, there’s some decoration along with nice paper plates and plastic cutlery and a cake in the middle that’s nicer than he’s expecting. 

You beam at him as he walks in. And you’re stupid enough to be wearing a birthday hat, giving him jazz hands as he enters. 

“Happy birthday!” 

On paper, Rin thinks it’s been something of a boring birthday. He did what he normally would do on a day off but you cooked for him twice. He spent most of it with you, even though it was a lot of nothing. A lot of being together like you were roommates or something. Maybe that's why he’s so reluctant to admit that this is making him feel something. 

That the silly theatrics feel meaningful. It is thoughtful, isn’t it? Rin doesn’t think anyone in his entire life has done anything this thoughtful for him. Birthdays are birthdays, and they’ve never really been especially meaningful. He didn’t see the point in just celebrating the day of someone's birth. Certainly, he doesn’t think he’d have it in himself to do something like this for another person. 

Rin stares at you. Wearing a stupid birthday hat and the most gleeful, idiotic smile he’s ever seen. All of this for a guy who’s rejected you, but you seem to cherish so much anyways. Apathetic and ungraceful as he is and always will be - he’s so overwhelmed he doesn’t know what to do. What a strange, unrecognizable feeling welling up inside of him. And not even one feeling, but so many so tangled with each other - he can’t see anything straight. His eyes aren’t drawn to the candlelight, or the moon, or the cake. 

It’s like a sense of tunnel vision. Where all Rin can really look at is you. It’s happened before. How can anyone be like this, he wonders. Are there people born into the world so unselfishly? And if they are, why would he ever cross paths with them? How could someone so easy to love have any business loving him, in the first place? 

Rin won’t ever understand you. He accepts that. He’ll never be able to understand this kind of person. Someone who shines even brighter than the sun. 

But he’s not so stupid to not understand himself. He’s unable to say the words he’d promised to you all the way in April. Rin doesn’t like to lie. 

He would be lying, that is, if you told him just one more time that you liked him.  He’d be lying if it told you it’ll never happen. He’d be lying if he said he doesn’t like you. And it’s not just because you like him, because that never mattered to him in the first place. 

Some people are made to be adored. Born special and bright like everything should revolve around them. Perhaps that kind of thing is only afforded to people without ego. With heart and character and charisma. 

It doesn’t matter. What a stupid thing to realize on his birthday of all days.

“Rin-kun?” 

He blinks. 

“Where’d you hide all of this?” 

You laugh at him, bubbly and delighted.

“I brought it in a tote and kept it in the kitchen. Mostly stuff from my house, and your mom helped with the cake and stuff. It’s nice right? I did a good job, no?” 

Ah. He’s fucked. 

“It looks okay.” 

You frown, huffing and puffing “Just okay? C’mon, don’t be stingy.” 

“Doesn’t begging for compliments defeat the purpose of them.” 

“Not to me,” 

Your frown deepens and Rin is starting to feel the rose colored glasses set in. 

“It’s nice. It’s good.” 

“So you like it? You’re happy? Delighted, even? Absolutely overjoyed by-” 

“Cut it out or I’m going to send you home.” 

“No,” You whine, tugging on his sleeves like you’re worried he really will “I want cake.” 

“Then let’s cut the cake?”

“We can’t,” You put your arms up in a cross and Rin gives you a look of confusion. “I promised I’d get a good picture of you.” 

“What? Promised who?” 

“Your parents, mostly. But also, you should post on your Instagram a little more, no? You’re basically a famous player already, you should have the courtesy to feed your fans.” 

Before he can do anything to protest, you usher Rin to sit on the other side of the table before you back with his phone. He stares at you but you only look at him expectantly. Still, he unlocks it and hands it to you. He gives you an irritated sigh (though he isn’t really irritated). 

“This is stupid.” 

“It’s a good thing to capture memories, you dummy. Now smile,” You say, holding up the camera after some angling “Or don’t. The people do love a good scowl.” 

That makes him want to smile. He’s awkward in the photos but he does stay still for them, trying his best not to look ridiculous. You take a few, then pause to come up to the table and light the candles in front of him. He hears the camera shutter one more time before you look up at him over the edge. 

“Ready to blow out your candles?” 

“I guess.” 

Before Rin can do anything about it, he listens to you sing happy birthday - poorly with too much enthusiasm. You’re tone deaf and passionate all at the same time - singing each word with a dramatic flair until you’re on the final word. You can’t clap because you’re recording but you do cheer as he burns the candles out. Once it’s over you stop recording, looking down and swiping through the pictures. 

“They turned out good. You should post them.” 

“...You’re done taking them?” 

You tilt your head to one side. 

“Yeah?” 

“We didn’t get any together.” 

Your eyes widen like he said something shocking. 

“...You wanna take them together?” 

He scoffs. 

“We spent the whole day together.” 

You flush, suddenly embarrassed and god. 

“I just wasn’t expecting you to want that. I mean we’re friends but-” 

“Shut up. And come here.” 

So you do, phone still in hand as you mess with your appearance.

“Do you want to take it or do you want me to?” 

“Oh, uh lemme just-” You go through a bunch of filters and find one before handing it to him, a nervous expression “You take it cause your arm is longer and you’re taller.” 

Rin just nods. Takes the phone from you,  and lets you pose a little before he takes the photo. He hands it back to you so you can see, and watches your eyes light up as you stare at it. Stupid. 

“It came out nice.” You say. You save it onto his phone before handing it back to him. “Send it to me later?” 

“Yeah.” 

You give him another grin and Rin takes his phone from you, going through the pictures as he opens up Instagram. He guess it wouldn’t hurt to post. You leave his side, saying something about cutting the cake. But he isn’t looking, really. 

He drafts a post as he waits for you. He likes the picture you took together best and decides to put it second. He never has any idea on how to caption these which is why he doesn’t want to post it in the first place. He glances at you, then sighs internally. 

itoshirin._ posted for the first time in a while.  posted 7 mins ago. liked by isagi_yoichi, bachiraaaaa, and others.  itoshirin._ ; 09.09.2002. thanks for everything, stupid.  isagi_yoichi commented: no way you’re getting a girlfriend before me. life is so unfair and cruel.  isagi_yoichi commented: oh happy birthday btw bachiraaaaa commented: RIN-CHAN !!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAY ٩(◕‿◕｡)۶ official_itoshisae: happy birthday.  itoshirinsnumberonefan: WHO IS THAT??  yo_hiori: happy birthday! 

“Rin, I cut the cake!” 

He puts his phone on DND before taking a plate of cake from your hand. 

__

The clock strikes two, and you’re still at Rin’s place. 

After a long binge of horror movies, you’re both comfortably in each other's space - only inches away, talking about nothing. The movie ended a little over half an hour ago.

He’s still doing just that, listening to you chatter away next to his ear. The room is completely dark minus the soft glow of the T.V. which gives just enough light for Rin to gaze at your face. Your eyes are wide and sparkly, still, even though it seems like the tiredness is getting to you too. 

Neither of you wants to stop talking. You’ve started discussing manga - particularly Rin's favorite manga. 

“Ciguatera was interesting,” You say, hugging one of his pillows close to your chest.  “I wasn’t sure what to expect.” 

“I’m shocked you read it. Seriously. I thought you would’ve  forgotten the minute after I told you.” 

“Well, yeah. You recommended it, so obviously I wanted to at least try,” You say with a breathless laugh, turning over to face him. You’re facing each other, he realizes a second too late “You’re such a boy, by the way. Weekly young magazine? Really.” 

“Shut up.” He says, with no real bite to his words “What were you expecting?” 

“Dunno. Didn’t think you were interested in romance of all things. Especially cause Ogino’s kind of a loser.” 

“There was other stuff in it.” He points out. You chuckle. 

“Yeah. Way raunchier and darker than I thought. But it was mostly about romance. So, I was surprised to say the last.” 

“What,” Rin starts, partially offended by the implication “Do you think I'm a soulless machine or something?” 

“Well no,” You frown, shaking your head as you stare at him “But you’ve rejected every confession you’ve ever gotten, even from some of the prettiest girls in our entire grade. So I didn’t think you had any interest in that kinda thing.”

He scoffs.”You’re stupid.” 

“You tell me all the time,” You point your fingers and place them under your chin. “Why did you reject them, by the way? Just trying to focus on soccer?” 

He feels flush, explaining. Turning his gaze to the ceiling, he sighs. 

“None of those people actually had feelings for me. It wasn’t meaningful in any way.” 

“And you want it to be meaningful?” 

“There’s no point being in a relationship with someone I don’t like and barely know. And who doesn’t really care to get to know me. I’m busy enough with soccer, and I don’t have time to entertain lukewarm relationships like that.” 

“What an unexpectedly sentimental reason. How soft of you Rin-kun.” 

“Shut up.” 

There’s a pause of thoughtful silence where you hum and lay flat on your back, reaching your hand up towards the ceilings. Rin can’t do much more than look. 

“You know. How I said I’ve been watching you since you were in Bluelock?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Y’know. I always thought you looked really sad back then. I might’ve been reading too much into it but,” You smile, corners of your lips upturned while you giggle “It’s like…weirdly relieving to see you like this.” 

“Like what?” 

“You’re like…just a boy,” You say wispy and delighted “A normal boy who reads shitty raunchy magazines and thinks about love. It’s comforting somehow. Makes me feel special. I really like you. A little more every day, it feels like.” 

Another beat of silence. He thinks you can sense the hesitance of his rejection. There’s such a tangible shift in the atmosphere. If Rin stretches his hand out to touch it, he thinks he’d push through an impossible barrier and keep falling in it forever. He thinks it would swallow him. 

He isn’t sure what it is. If it’s an act of bravery, or a sudden uptick in adrenaline, or if the exhaustion of a long day is finally starting to hit. Maybe it’s just these feelings that keep overwhelming him that make his body move. Something outside of his mind, nestled in his ribs, that has him inching closer to you. 

He flips until he’s hovering over you. Your eyes widen and you stare at him. He stares back, like he almost can’t believe himself. 

“Rin-kun?” 

And he freezes. The confidence dissipates as soon as he finds it but now he’s above you, on top of you. You’re messy and flush from the day. Your mascara is smudged and your lipgloss is gone - leaving a faint sheen on your mouth that matches your skin. Your hoodie is rumpled around the shoulders - one of the sleeves pulled to your elbows. Rin really gets a look at you. Cognizant of the fact he spent all day with you. That’s why you look worn and sleepy and so unbelievably cute. So cute it annoys him. Irritates him half to death. 

You open your mouth again, only to close it. It almost feels like he can hear your heart. Or maybe it’s his. It’s hard to know the difference. 

“Is this a n-new kind of bullying?” You joke, trying to ease the tension. He frowns at you. 

“Does it seem like I’m joking?” 

Your eyes widen and you turn away. Rin wants to make you look. 

“Well no but…” And you squirm a little “what are you doing?”

He doesn’t know, either. 

“I don’t know.” He admits, and you laugh a little breathless and the tension is so thick Rin can’t swallow around it “I want to kiss you.” He blurts out. Awkward and uncharismatic and clumsy. 

A bout of silence.

“...Am I going insane? Did you just say you want to kiss me?”

“I did.” 

More silence. 

“Why? Wouldn’t that make me your first kiss?” 

“It would.” 

“And isn’t that like… reserved for your special someone?” 

“It is.” 

“Rin-kun,” You breathe out, blinking in disbelief  “Do you even know what you’re saying?” 

“I do.”

You’re a little more serious this time. You put your hand on his shoulder. He feels like the Earth is gonna fall from under his feet. 

“Stop messing with me.” 

“I’m not.” 

You frown. 

“Do you really want to kiss me?” 

“Yeah,” He can’t think “I do.” 

You reach up for him. You’re more experienced with this kind of thing and it shows as you cup the nape of his neck. He doesn’t finch. He doesn’t look away from you either, as your thumb brushes under his eyes - the both of you so wrapped up in each other nothing matters. Rin would stay in this forever, if someone gave him the option.

“W-we have to talk about this afterwards, okay?”

“Okay.” 

“I’m serious, Itoshi Rin. Because you can’t just—” 

Your palm cups his cheek and he rubs against it instinctively. He sees your eyes widen and you swallow - a frown still etched into your features. 

“I know. I’m sorry.” 

Your voice goes as soft as a whisper. 

“You’re so unfair.” 

He almost laughs. 

“Please kiss me.” He asks, so silently it almost goes unheard but he knows you hear it because your lips press into a thin line before you’re pulling Rin down towards you. Your lips are soft. And warm. And they taste faintly like whip-cream and the slight sour of strawberries and your hands are so gentle. Somehow he feels at ease even though he feels like he’s going to implode on himself from nerves. 

Just a little deeper before you pull away and stare at him. Rin looks back, eyes jumping from your lips up to your eyes and back down to your lips. You open your mouth to say something. Mumbling his given name only for him to cut you off with another kiss, a little deeper this time. The way it shuts you up is so cute it almost makes him angry. How it muffles your words, tapers off into a noise of surprise and ends up just back at a kiss. 

He’s never felt like this kind of thing was a viable option. Itoshi Rin is an antisocial, angry, and apathetic soccer protege and he has no time in the world for anything lukewarm. He’s rejected every confession he’s ever received in his life and always thought of relationships as something far off and disconnected to him in his entirety.

Perpetually unloveable but maybe not in such an angsty, vulnerable way. Like a law of the universe. A truth, like thinking of him, means to postulate that he is that way. A prerequisite to understanding him. 

Rin doesn’t like things that are half-ass. Perhaps, part of the reason he likes you so much is because you’ve proved him wrong in such an utterly defeating way. The fact your very existence is by and large, the antithesis of this truth. 

Itoshi Rin is not only loveable, but he is capable of loving. There is evidence of it, right underneath him now - with soft lashes and wet eyes and the brightest smile that could ever exist. 

And it’s haunting for more reasons than one. But he likes how unyielding the revelation is. You’re worried he’ll want to avoid it, and he does. But he doesn’t think he could forever, even if he tried. 

He’s confident if he made the attempt, you’d come barreling towards him once more. With all the confidence in the world. It makes him want to at least try to face it.

Which is why he’s kissing you a second, third, and fourth time. Which is why he’s looking at you in between, wide blue eyes transfixed on every part of your face. He’s trying to face what daunts him most, not like but love and the difference is more important as the days pass. 

You pull away, finally - put a hand on his chest and stare. 

“Rin-kun,” You whisper, uncertain of yourself which he hates. “I like you. I really like you.” And again, a little softer “And I want you to like me too,” Like that had been the biggest secret of all. Something you’d never told anyone, even once. 

Rin can’t imagine it. Have you been holding in something like this all this time? He only realized a couple hours ago and it already feels like he’s going to rip apart at the seams. 

“I do. I do like you.”

“Really? Forreal? Seriously? You’re not pulling my leg? Yanking my chain?” 

He knocks his forehead against yours. 

“Be quiet. How can you be this stupid in the middle of getting confessed to?” 

You pout. Pout at him, all whiny. God. 

“It doesn’t feel real to me.” 

He laughs humorlessly. “It’s all a dream. You’ll forget it all in the morning.” 

“Stop being mean to me.” 

He has to be. If he’s not you’re going to see right through him. 

“No,” He says instead “Stop being so ridiculous first.” 

“An impossible ask to the world's most ridiculous girl.” 

He smiles a little. 

“That’s a good name for you. I’ll change your contact.” 

“Nooo,” You say again, this time pulling him down for a hug. His eyes widened. And he’s unfair? “Be nice to your girlfriend.” 

He doesn’t have anything to say to that. It flusters him too, admittedly. Before he can think of a counter, you yawn big and wide. Rin is still on top of you and neither of you have brushed your teeth. He was planning on putting you up in the guest room, but currently you’re clinging to him half-away. And he has no such plans of telling you to move. 

“I’m so tired.” 

Rin feels like he’s going to pass out, He mumbles. 

“You can sleep.” 

“Want you to sleep too.” 

Rin closes his eyes. He couldn’t refuse even if he wanted to. You’ll have to talk about it in the morning. 

“Okay.” 

__ 

“Rin? Where’s your frie—oh!” 

Rin stirs the minute his mom enters the room. It only takes him a minute to regain consciousness and by the time he’s awake - he’s already regretting not locking his door. 

He continues to pretend to be asleep. He thinks you still are because you’re comfortably slotted in his arms. Rin is so embarrassed he wants to die. He hears his mom gasp, and then quietly shouts for his father to come to his room. 

“What are you—oh.” 

Rin is going to have the worst morning of his life whenever they leave. He remains still. He hears the shutter of a camera and grits his teeth all the way in the back of his jaw. 

“Oh this will make a great wedding photo.” 

His dad laughs a little to himself, ushering his mother out of the room “Don’t get carried away,” 

When the door finally clicks, Rin opens his eyes and lets out a breath of relief. Much to his shock, he also feels you stir. His eyes widen when you turn to him, your face painted in utter mortification before you bury it in your hands. He stares at you as you groan, kicking your feet. 

“Oh god I’m going to cry. How am I going to face her? Oh my god” 

Rin scoffs a little at your dramatics. It calms him down in a strange way “She’s not gonna say anything to you. She’s probably only going to bully me about it.” 

“I’ve forsaken you, mother-in-law” 

Rin nudges your ribs, blush crawling up his face. 

“Shut up.” 

__ 

Up until three weeks ago, Rin didn’t take issue with the way you interacted at school. 

You two have a pretty strict policy about it. Though you’re in the same class and you chat occasionally in the halls - you tend to avoid Rin where you can. Originally, this made sense. For the sake of his comfort and yours, the best choice was sneaking to the roof together to eat where you could remain mostly undisturbed. 

As such, Rin has never been particularly consciousness of your presence in the classroom. For starters, you’re always somewhere. A busybody of the highest pedigree and always running errands - even if Rin were to try to talk to you he can only really find you 20 percent of the time. Secondly, unlike Rin, you have a handful of friends surrounding you. Rin has interacted with them very briefly but you (seemingly for his sake) try not to force him out of his comfort zone too much by making you all sit together. The most Rin has gotten from them is a single knowing smirk or glance. 

And lastly, before three weeks ago, it would’ve been a big problem if people started getting onto either of you about a relationship that didn’t exist. That would've been all around awkward and uncomfortable and maybe would’ve deterred your future endeavors with other guys. 

That was when you and Itoshi Rin were in fact not dating. 

Three weeks into your relationship and nothing much has changed, though nowadays you come over to his house on weekends where you can. You’ve even been on one date after his dad (of all people) hounded him about never taking you on a proper one. 

You text the same as you did before, and you call Rin a little more often. Usually for the purposes of rambling so much you tucker yourself out and fall asleep. 

But at school, Rin only really sees you for the spare minutes of lunch and not much more than that. He’s never really thought about it before. It was never enough of an issue to warrant his intervention. 

It’s not like he cares, okay? 

But he’s more aware of it, now - frustratingly enough. You really don’t see each other often enough in school and you have many more guy friends than he had ever considered before. Every time he catches you and Murata-senpai trekking down the hall he feels his blood pressure rise. 

You and Rin have both decided, though. Despite his posting of you, neither of you have confirmed the relationship. Rin is immune to the prying and you’re good at dodging it altogether. This is the agreement. 

It is therefore very irrational of him to be thinking of speaking up at this current moment in time. 

Despite your mutual decision to keep things as private as possible, Rin has heard nothing but gossip about the situation for weeks. Outside of the usual, direct kind of prying - there’s whispers and stares and all sorts of other things. Rin doesn’t care about it. He’s used to it, it’s part of the gig and the neo-egoist league made him near immune. 

It’s all the things directed at you that make him seethe. Misplaced jealousy and the disappointed remarks of guys in class that make him feel like his blood pressure is rising. The latter is what’s making him most irritated now. How fucking long are these idiots going to talk about this? 

“Dude, you had like three years to confess,” Some idiot, who’s name Rin doesn’t know is still yapping “If she’s actually dating Mr.Popular then it’s on you for fucking yourself over.” 

The other idiot in question groans, and Rin forces his face to remain impassive as he listens. He tries to stop listening. More than once, actually. But they just keep going. 

“I didn’t think he’d actually do it dude. Like there’s no way, right? He rejected every single girl who ever confessed to him. I thought she was safe. And now my highschool love is forever ruined.” 

Like he ever stood a chance. How ridiculous. 

Another one of the goons speaks up “Dunno. Neither of them have said anything right? You miss all of the shots you don’t take.” 

“Are you saying I should just confess to her anyway? She got posted on his Instagram dude.” 

A smirk appears on Extra Three’s face “No confirmation means fair game. Stop being pussy and do it.” 

“You think I stand a chance against that dude?” 

Rin can feel all three pairs' eyes hit him at once. 

“Nah. Not a chance. But you could always wait till she’s all heartbroken and comfort her, right? Hook, line, and sinker.” 

“I hear when girls are heartbroken they’re like way more likely to let you—” 

With that, Rin stands to his feet. He’s seething. It’s ridiculous. It’s stupid. He should definitely just leave to go cool his head but he’s so fucking angry it’s hard to sit still and he has no other way of dealing with his feelings. So he walks towards the table slowly, eyes darkened and just barely holding it in

He knows this is a bad idea. He can feel the whole classroom look at him as he slams his hand down on the desk. But he doesn’t care. He’ll deal with it later. 

“You’d be fucking lucky if my girlfriend ever looked your way.” 

As soon as Rin says it, there's a thud at the door-way of the classroom. When he looks up you’re there with your eyes widened. Rin just looks back, impassive and immune to the sudden uproar of whispers. 

He only clicks his teeth when you grab him by the sleeve of his uniform - cracking a small smile as he hears the faint words “Just give up dude.” as he leaves. 

__ 

Up on the roof top, you’re shaking Rin by the shoulders - visibly distressed. 

“Hey! What the hell was that?” 

“What.” He offers, not willing to budge on the situation. In the first place he’s a little irritated by all of it. And he’s a little irritated by how much you’ve been enforcing the no-talking rule. Right now, it really feels like he can’t take it anymore. 

You frown deeply, distress only growing as the time passes in uncomfortable silence. Rin doesn’t want to be civil about it. About it and about you and about those idiots. 

“We had an agreement!” You say, grabbing him by the front of his shirt, though it’s weak. He stares down at you. 

“So what?” 

“Rin, we talked about this. Don’t be like this.” 

“Like what.” 

“Pissy and weird. You’re being weird and I don’t like it. It’s making me sad.” 

“How am I being—” 

Before Rin can proceed with his sentence, he catches a glimpse of your face in the midst of his tantrum. Sad like a puppy who got its tail stepped on and about ready to cry, he immediately seals his mouth in fear of making it worse. 

“Why are you doing that?” He spits. 

“Doing what?”

“Being all sad and pathetic. Does it really bother you that much if people know we’re dating?” 

“It’s not like that.” You assure. 

“Then what is it?” Rin prods, frustrated but not wanting to make things worse “Why is it such a big deal?” 

There’s a bout of silence before you sigh. 

“Rin, you’re a huge soccer player. The people you’re dating and stuff - it’s a big deal,” 

Rin cuts you off. 

“That’s what you were worried about? My career?” 

“Well, yeah.” 

“You’re stupid.” 

“Hey! I’m seriously worried about it and then you go and—” 

He gives you a frown. He forgets all too often you’re like this. He’s used to your silly and unserious way of talking, so it slips his mind that you’re actually a massively responsible person. You probably have a point about it, thinking of the consequences of your relationship through hell and back. With a detached sense of rationality - Rin can recognize that you’re probably thinking about more things than this. Otherwise it wouldn’t be so touchy of a subject. 

Nothing’s changed on paper, but everything will eventually. It’s something to think about, admittedly. 

Honestly Rin doesn’t care what strangers think. He’s blunt and unfriendly. Always has been, and will continue to be through the majority of his career he’s absolutely sure. Even outside of Bluelock, he has almost no regard for the opinions of other people and what concerns them. Maybe it’s irresponsible, but Rin isn’t playing soccer for the approval of the populace and nothing will ever change that. 

“If I thought that was something I should worry about, we wouldn’t be dating.” 

You look up at him. 

“You should be worried about it.” You emphasize. 

“I’m not. I don’t care what any of those people think.” 

“Then why’d you go and say something?” 

Rin seethes.

“They deserved it.” 

Your hand reaches for his cheek. He pauses and takes a deep breath, staring at you. He leans into your touch instinctively, frustration eased by the sensation. You stare back. 

“Okay. We’ll announce it officially later, then.” 

“Do we even need to do that? If you tell three people, half of our grade’ll find out anyway.” 

“Are you saying my friends  gossip?” 

He doesn’t reply to that. You pout at him and Rin fights the urge to kiss you. There’s a beat of silence as you give him a hug - the two of you on the same roof you always are. Rin doesn’t mind it, wrapping his arms loosely around your waist. 

“You know, it’s gonna get busy for me soon.” You mumble. So this is what else you were worrying about. “And for you. I have my entrance exam and the school is in Tokyo. And you’re gonna go back to Bluelock and—” 

“It’ll be fine.”

“I’m worried about it anyways.” 

“About what?” 

“I’ll see you less. What if you stop liking me randomly and I can’t even hunt you down about it?” 

Rin huffs “You’re insane enough to find me,” He drops his chin on your shoulder “Plus you talk to my mom.” 

“You’re gonna be so busy.” 

“I’ll come see you when I’m not.” 

“And you’re going to be surrounded by the human equivalent of siren women someday soon.” 

“I don’t care about that.” 

“But you might.” 

“I haven’t in eighteen years, you moron.” 

“I’m gonna miss you all the time.” You say, sniffly and Rin is so struck with a feeling of affection he almost falls “I already miss you all the time.” 

He squeezes you a little tighter “It’ll be fine.”

“For you.” 

Rin furrows his brow, pulling back to stare at you. 

“Not for me,” Because Rin can begrudgingly admit he will miss you worse than this “Just in general. It’ll be fine. You almost made it a year without me.” 

“But now I’m with you,” You reply easily, and softly and oh-so in love Rin wants to turn away “And I’m so happy and I want it be like this for a long time,”

“Just a long time? Not something stupid like a blossoming eternity?” 

“I thought I’d scare you.” 

“You did that in April.” He points out flatly. You hit him lightly but smile anyway. 

“It’s a problem how much I like you.” 

Rin likes you just as much. You’re probably too much of an idiot to realize and won’t for a long while. He takes a little comfort in, strangely.

“It’ll be fine. I’ll come see you.” He says again, because it’s the only thing he can think to say. He believes in it thoroughly. If Rin were a better, more candidly vulnerable person he thinks now he’d give the loving boyfriend speech. He almost wants to half-assedly try but can’t bring himself to get past the awkwardness. He hugs you tighter because it’s all he’s capable of, and hopes he can will it into you. The sincerity of his words, he wants so badly for them to reach you “Stop worrying so much.” 

“Rin-kun,” You start, then pause to look up at him. His breath hitches “Rin. I love you. Really.” 

He feels like he’s gonna be sick as he stares at you, eyes widened. You look the same as you always do. Unexpectant, terribly sincere, with your heart on your sleeve. The more Rin knows you, the more he thinks it can’t be easy to be so vulnerable all the time. 

So you do it for him, and only him. And Rin is always going to be intolerable. Frustrating and impatient. But he wants to do it for you too, where he can. Rin wants you to know it’ll be fine because the fact that you’re standing here now is nothing short of a miracle. Nothing comes out right. 

“Yeah.” He says, but he can’t get the rest of words out. And you laugh, and peek up at him through your lashes. 

“And you love me too, don’t you?” 

Rin grits his teeth. He wants to say no. 

“I guess.” 

“And we’re going to be just fine.” You repeat, hugging him tight. Rin hugs you back. He wants to say thank you. He wants to kiss you stupid and make fun of you at the same time. He wants you so much and so often he’s sure he’s lost his fucking mind. 

But he agrees with you, at least. He nods. He holds you. He doesn’t like to lie, so he looks at you instead. 

“Yeah. It’s gonna be fine.” 

__

EPILOGUE ; 

In Rin’s defense, he’s not trying to listen in on the conversions of your underclassmen. 

For starters, the club door is cracked up and Rin only has one airpod fully charged. Secondly, it’s not like they’re being quiet. Rin’s pretty sure anyone with decent enough hearing could hear them from down the hall. Given that it’s the newspaper club, he’s sure that the conversation isn’t usually this interesting. 

It’s just when he catches wind of your name while you’re nowhere to be found, he finds himself eavesdropping just a little. He leans back into the chair he’s sitting in, face tucked into his black mask and hat pulled neatly over his head. 

“Guys, I’ve decided I’m going to confess to Boss  no matter what.” 

He must mean you. Rin often hears how some of the people in the club affectionately add danchou to the end of your name. Rin scoffs a little at the kids' confidence. It reminds him a little of highschool. Rin really think you’re at more of a risk than he is. Being a celebrity makes him naturally unattainable - more of a fixture than a person. 

Everytime someone confesses to you though it’s sincere. From knowing you. And he gets it but it doesn’t keep him from scoffing and turning his nose up. 

“It’d be a good idea to give up while you’re ahead.” Says another unnamed voice. 

“Yeah Nakao-san. Do you even know who Senpai's boyfriend is?” 

“N-no. But it doesn’t matter. Through the powerful of love I’ll—”

Before Rin gets a chance to listen anymore, he hears your voice call out for him. He snaps his head up to look at you. You’re dressed so professionally it’s hard to recognize you like that. Your hair is cut neat and styled professionally and you’re dressed in business casual. He’s relieved he brought shoes for you to change into. 

You run up to him anyway, and Rin stands up to make sure you don’t stumble as you throw your arms around his neck. You’re closer in height with your heels on so he doesn’t have to bend down much at all to kiss you. He pulls down his mask quickly.

“Rin-tan, you’re here.” You say with a soft, breathless giggle “I missed youuu.” 

“Missed you too,” He says, an arm squeezed around your waist “I have shoes for you in the car,”

You gasp, rubbing your cheek against his affectionately. 

“You’re the best in the world. My feet are so sore.” 

“Did the interview go well?” Rin asks. You pull away, moving your hair away from your eyes before nodding. 

“Uh-huh. The women's rugby team captain is super chill and she interviews great so it went smoothly. I just need to drop the transcript off and then we can leave,” You say holding his hand. He squeezes your palms “Do you want to meet them? You don’t have to but a lot of them ask about you.” 

Normally Rin would say no. But he’s feeling a little petty today, after all. 

“Sure.” 

You beam, your hand in his as you nudge the door open. The room goes silent, a bout of excited cheering following at your return. He’s relieved to see you’re still so well loved, a little reluctant to let go of your hand. 

“Senpai, you’re back.” 

“Yup, yup. I have the transcript and recording on this USB. Watch it and draft the article up tonight. When I come in tomorrow, we’ll go through editing and get it out by Monday.” You say, hand on hip before remembering his presence. You grab him and Rin follows “Oh, and guys - this is my boyfriend! Rin Itoshi.” 

Most of them seem to know. Rin can sense the admiration but it’s respectful. He can tell that everyone is professionals in the field. Rin likes that. He bows politely. 

“Nice to meet everyone,” 

“Nice to meet you too, Itoshi-san.” 

“Danchou…you’re dating Rin Itoshi…the famous soccer player Rin Itoshi?” 

You giggle, looping your arm in Rin’s. He laughs internally. It’s the same kid who wanted to confess to you. 

“Uh-huh. We’re highschool sweethearts! And today is our very special date night so don’t contact me for any reason until tomorrow morning at least. I’ll see you guys later.” 

“Bye, senpai.” 

“Have fun on your date.” 

With that, you turn the corner and leave the room - immediately beginning to ramble about your day. Rin half-listens. He only pays complete attention when he hears your kouhais talking from down the hall. 

“Told you to give up, dude.” 

“Rin. Are you paying attention?” 

He chuckles to himself. 

“Yeah. Sorry.” 

❁ a/n ; hello!! me again. first of alll, if you read through this whole fic, thank you so much. second of all i want to discuss a few things about this fic.

im usually pretty keen on localization for my fics where possible because i think it makes for a smoother reader experience - however the usage of honorifics was important to the atmosphere for this one so i'll hope it wasn't too awkward to read.

secondly, im nervous about rins characterization for this one so i hope it was alright. apologies for any errors its 5am and im soo tired.

this fic was mostly meant as an exploration of how i think rin would really benefit from being with someone eccentric and bubbly. the core of their relationship is that reader is an overall emotionally intelligent and honest person and how that has a huge influence on rin so i hope that growth came thru. once again thanks for reading and i hope u enjoyed. rbs and tags always appreciated!

[getonite]

(𝟎.𝟗𝐊+) 𝐌𝐒𝐆: (OH) I DON'T GET IT, YOUR THE ONLY THING THAT I LOVE

ayanokoji kiyotaka/fem,reader ; no prns r stated, however, through desc it feels like it was meant for fem readers, kissing, cringe confession, 'ask what it means + realization' trope, reader finessing a kiss from him, + me heavily projecting my aroaceness on him.

despite his percieved outward appearance and demeanor, ayanokoji's mind is quite different. he has some semblance of the ability to feel, though he can't outwardly express it. he doesn't and has never craved human warmth or affection since his infancy.

its unnecessary, there's simply no place for it in his life. though, there are times where he wishes he could feel what others do, where he could smile like others do.

though no one has ever prompted him to start that journey. not kushida, not horikita, not even karuizawa. he wonders if he'll forever remain behind the doors of those polished white walls. that is until he feels the warmth of your hand on his arm.

those dehumanizing walls of class where he was observed like a lab rat remain fresh in his head.

reminders that his father would do anything to get his most successful product back in his grasp.

though when you give him that sweet dimpled smile he pushes it to the back of his head. never forgetting, though still on the forefront of his mind.

when you stand on the tips of your toes to reach his height, releasing him that cute little giggle. he can't help but give in . . . just a little. after all, how could he stand on his word when the person he's against is too pretty.

despite how intelligent he is, he can't seem to pick up that he feels diffrent towards you.

the reality of differential feelings towards others was a bit foreign. even when he stepped into the social atmosphere of high school, his view didn't quite change. no matter the girl, no matter the boy, he felt the same.

until you whispered the nickname you made up for him. “kiyoookoji!” in your cute tone, you dragged out the beginning of his name, to end it with the end of his last name. he finds it a bit cute? that you've crafted a nickname for him.

one only you are allowed to use.

nothing changed until you ( forcibly ), dragged him to your dorm and happily explained the anime he had missed out on during his previous 16 years.

kiyotaka ayanokoji hadn't quite realized how he felt, despite the way he leaned in closer to hear you better. despite when his eyes immediately snap to your form. despite the wave of warmth he felt when you hugged his arm, cheek pressed to his shoulder as you look up at him with those pretty doe eyes.

“kiyoooo-o!” you smile and drag his name out per usual. your body is tilted towards his as you lean on the rail of the cruise balcony.

it was another island exam, not very surprising.

though the luxury, the beautiful seas, and the atmosphere is something you could never get over. “hm?”

“whatcha thinkin’ bout?” you smirk and lean in, “im guessing that's your thinking face considering ive never seen you frown like that . . . or ever” normally, people would smile at your teasing, though in his mind he wants to, his lips don't move.

“can i ask you something?”

“course, what is it?”

“. . . i think im feeling something, towards someone.”

“oh?” intrigue fills you, “do tell.”

“. . . something about them is different. i feel different when im near them, like im letting my guard down instinctually. i want them.”

you hum, a finger playfully tapping against your chin. “diffrent? how?”

“like . . . i feel warm around them. they grab my attention whenever they walk in. and i like listening to them. no matter how ridiculous it sounds. i just think it's—i feel different around them. and i don't know if i want it to stop . . . i think i do?”

ayanokoji's eyes drift to you. his eyebrow raises slightly. “what?”

“kiyo,” you smile, “you've developed a crush. normal people get that all the time.”

“huh,” he mumbles.

“care to tell me who's caught your eye? i wanna know what your type is,” you tease and lean towards him.

ayanokoji feels a sense of amusement at your actions. he takes a breath before looking at you, his eyes locked on yours. “your smart, i think you already know the answer to that question,” he whispers.

your lips twitch into a smile, “cute.”

you hum and stand up straight, taking steps to be right in front of him. “would you care to test my theory?” you smirk, mischief in those pretty eyes he loves to drown in.

“and how would we do that?”

“kiss,” you whisper and stand on the tips of your toes, your lips hovering over his. you feel his breath against your lips and you lock eyes with him once more. “care to tr—”

before you can finish your words, his hand finds purchase on your hip and he presses his lips to yours. his eyes flutter closed as he takes in the feeling he gets from you. your voice, your smile, your touches.

after a moment he breaks away, his hand lingering on your hip. his eyes open and looks into your eyes, not uttering a word.

. . .

“wellllll, was i right?”

he presses his lips to yours once again, holding you a bit closer this time. you chuckle and cup the side of his face. you break away, only for him to lean in for another.

“hey you,” you whisper, causing him to pause, “that's a lot of kissing for someone who isn't my boyfriend.”

ayanokoji's lips twitch at your words, “then would you date me?”

a hum leaves your lips. your eyes travel to his, your thumb running along his bottom lip. a smile grows on your face. “since you asked so nicely, yes.”

[etoiile]

cute lil friends to lovers confession scene with akaashi <33

akaashi keiji was very used to you coming to him for advice and comfort.

you're having friendship trouble? you two are meeting for coffee. academic stress? you two are going for a walk. just a bad day? you two are watching whatever cheesy romance movies you'd like alongside your favorite snacks. (he always has them stocked in his apartment.)

you always referred to keiji as your "unpaid therapist," because he really was there to guide you and comfort you throughout all of the twists and turns of your life. whenever you accomplished a major milestone, keiji was there. whenever you needed to just talk about and process your feelings, keiji was there. even at your lowest, darkest points, keiji was there. he was always there.

he just had this natural talent for knowing exactly what to say and do. he had this process of welcoming your crying body into his home kindly, (or showing up at your place when he knew you were probably on the verge of a meltdown) making you something warm to drink, sitting you down on something comfortable, letting you cry out all of your worries and anxiety, and then giving you the kindest words of comfort and the most perfect advice for every situation. it was seriously magical, the way he always seemed to just abracadabra and suddenly, your life seemed a bit brighter.

he always knew exactly what to say and how to help you. it just came to him organically.

this time, however...

"i want to confess to this guy i like but i dont know how."

keiji stared at you in mild shock. he was certainly not expecting this. he thought that maybe you were feeling a bit overwhelmed and wanted to cry your eyes out to the notebook for the twentieth time to make yourself feel better, that maybe that one friend who always mistreats you made another snarky comment, that maybe you had a paper due in two days and you hadn't even started, but a boy? that you like? that you actually want to make a move on? this was not in his predictions.

admittedly, keiji had grown to like you a bit more than he had expected. there was just something about you that was so special and beautiful to him. maybe it was the way your eyes shone like diamonds whenever something mildly positive happened, maybe it was the way you somehow managed to cry at the same scene in the same movie despite having watched it multiple times, maybe it was the way that despite everything you would go through, you'd always try to keep your head up, but regardless of the reason, he had grown more than fond of you. if you weren't so dense, you'd see the way he looked at you, as if you were one of the seven wonders of the world, or the way he talked to you, in the most gentle, heartfelt tone that was never used on anyone else, or even the way he helped you with anything and everything, setting aside whatever he was doing to be with you when you needed him.

so, you can imagine the way his heart sank when he learnt of your affection for some other man.

"are you guys ... close?" he asked, silently hoping you'd say no, in which case he might be able to encourage you to wait it out a bit until you were sure.

"mhm!"

oh.

"we hangout a lot. he's always there for me when i need him!"

more than him? he thought that the two of you hungout pretty frequently, and he thought that he was your "therapist" who was there whenever you needed him. who the hell was this other rando? he knew most of your friends. you had tons of mutuals and he knew about the ones he didn't personally know through your constant chatter. how come this other guy had never before come up? who was he? he felt like he was going insane.

"and ... you're sure you really like him? how come?"

at his question, your eyes shone in the way that he loved, and he could see the glee radiating from you. it made him kind of sad to see that it was because of another guy.

"well, for one, he's super hot. like, he could be a model. he has the prettiest face ive ever seen and he has the most beautiful piano hands. not to mention, he's toned as fuck."

hotter than him? he knew he was no brad pitt, but he knew he wasn't entirely unattractive. was he not good-looking enough for you?

"for two, he's super smart. like, he's in an amazing major at an amazing university and he gets top grades every time. he's diligent and works hard! it's so admirable, and he inspires me to do the same."

he felt a pang in his heart knowing that despite the fact that he, too, works hard at school, it was a reason for you to go for the other guy.

"y/n, these reasons are a little surface-level. lots of people are good-looking good students. these might not be the right reasons for you to confess your feelings. it might just be a simple, fleeting crush."

despite wanting to be supportive of you no matter what, he couldn't handle the fact that you might be the girlfriend of some other guy. he felt a little bad, but he tried to nudge you into not confessing as subtly as possible.

"but that's not all. above all, he is so kind and he has such a good heart. i've genuinely never met another person as sweet as him. he's been there through my highs and lows, and he's just so pure and good. i care about him so much, and i can tell that he cares about me too. when im with him, i feel like i can be the best version of myself. he pushes me everyday and i'm so grateful to have someone like that in my life. i seriously wonder if he's like, a gift that the gods gave me when they saw how badly i was failing at life or something. i dont know what i would ever do without him."

oh.

you were serious.

you really liked this guy.

what did this other guy have that he didn't, though? he liked to believe he was decent looking! (hes gorgeous and majestic and i love him) he was a hardworking student! he always tried to be kind and caring towards others! why did it have to be this other guy? why couldn't it be him?

as much as he wanted to, he knew he couldn't try to stop you from confessing if you really felt the way you did about that guy. it just wouldn't be right. he couldn't let his own feelings get in the way of your happiness. before he gave you the advice and validation you were seeking, he decided to ask one last question as a confirmation.

"do you think he likes you back?" he questioned.

you pondered the question for a moment. "maybe. i think so? i hope so. i've kind of been trying to gauge his reaction lately, and i think he might like me back? he always tries to hide how he feels, and he has a pretty stoic face, but i can kinda tell what he's thinking because of all the time we've spent together." you replied.

he felt a twinge in his heart but put on a gentle smile regardless.

"he sounds great. if you're really sure of your feelings, go ahead and confess. i think it would be best if you got him alone, maybe in a familiar safe space, and told him straight up. i know that that's what i would like, at least." he advised. throughout it all, he sustained that same gentle smile and voice, despite his extreme inner turmoil. he spoke to you as if you were the most precious thing on earth, because to him, you really were.

"ooo sounds good! so, how do you think i should start it? like, just a 'hey, i like you?' or like, 'you're so special to me and yadayadaya?' what do you think, keiji?" you prompted.

knowing that he was planning how his crush was going to confess to hers felt a little pathetic. regardless, he mulled it over for a bit before replying with, "perhaps you could tell him that you have big news to share as you're sitting down. then, honestly, you could get straight to the point. just tell him about how you feel. however, it all sort of depends on the guy, and how you think he'd respond to different starters, of course."

you grinned. "okay! keiji, stand up for a sec?"

confused, keiji gave you a look, but stood up regardless.

you giggled at the way he looked at you. "so, keiji, lets sit down. i sort of have big news to tell you."

his heart raced. was what he thought might be happening actually happening? there was no way. he didn't know what to think. his mind raced with a million possibilities, ranging from you pulling a little prank on him to you telling him you were deathly ill, but the main one loomed large.

he gulped. "hm...?"

dont get your hopes up. dont get your hopes up. dont get your hopes up. he thought to himself. he was terrified at the thought of having false hope embarrassing himself.

"listen. we've known each other for awhile now, you know? and in that time, i've gotten to know you as this awesome guy who's perfect in every way. i love you to the moon and back; always have and always will, but now, that love is not the same kind as it used to be when we first became friends." you expresssed cautiously.

akaashi was sure he was about to have cardiac arrest from how fast his heart was beating. his palms were sweating and his eyes were wide. was this happening? was this actually, honest-to-god happening?

"i really, really, really like you, keiji. and im not saying that as just a friend." you stated. you looked a bit nervous, but you felt just enough determination to look at him in the eyes.

akaashi, on the other hand...

akaashi steadied himself on the arm of the couch he was on. "seriously?" he breathed shakily, feeling like the news was too good to be true. his face was beet red, his whole body felt numb, and he had subconsciously pinched himself to make sure he wasn't dreaming. he had never felt such an intense rush of emotion, and he had no idea what to do with himself. for the first time in your relationship, akaashi was the one less composed and at a loss for words.

"yeah. it's fine if you don't feel the same way, but i thought that i just had to-"

your words died in your throat when akaashi suddenly lunged forward and pulled you tight against his chest, burying his face in your neck.

"i do too." he declared, smiling ear to ear. he pulled away to look at you, admiring your beauty.

"i really, really, really do."

© 𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

[koiifiishy]

sydney rambles bc this is my blog and mom said its my turn with the communal barbie doll (obligatory disclaimer of this pertaining to my syd & doesnt have to affect how u view ur own games version! also will be referring to syd with he/him)

circle glasses for max moe points. eris buys him contacts after the 3rd time his glasses get broken. still sometimes wears glasses, mostly for aesthetic appeal or when hes too tired to pop contacts in. has absolutely fallen asleep with them in before. ouch.

wears hair loose now adays but will occasionally switch it up depending on the outfit and event. ties his hair with eris' teal ribbon that he was gifted after they started dating. (kylar has probably stolen that ribbon before, but eris just have sydney a new one lmao)

idc if it is or isnt confirmed, ive been thinking of DID sydney well before i saw the tumblr dollies talking about it (those posts only fueled me lmao) and i 100% hc sysney. at least 3 bad boys are in that noggin; pure syd, corrupt syd, third secret spicy option syd that hes not aware of & is the cause for the "huh? what do u mean i just did xyz thing i dont remember that :-)???" scenes.

in my heart of hearts i do believe sydney is capable of knocking sb the fuck out & he would if push came to shove. the warnings he gives arent just for show! would he feel bad after? nngghh.... maybe. more like hed feel guilty for letting it get that far & have a mini spiral about how hes out of control & oh god plz forgive him,,,

only time hes getting to that level is if his partner is in active danger right in front of him. this is secret spicy 3rd sydney's moment to shine. (fyi eris thinks this is Hot AF & reassures sydney he did nothing wrong. ---purity loss interaction lol)

looks a LOT like sirris (dad in my game) but gets sheepish when compared to him. eye & hair color from mom.

this bitch is packing bc i think its so thematically funny for pure syd to go thru the stages of horny grief while ImprisionedTM & during his descent to corrupt sydney. fallen sydney is a lot more confident with his size! if i were to put a numbered range on what in game "huge" is id probably say were talkin pornstar level 9-11in and OUCH but also ykno what. size queenkings geddit. sydney personally? 10. maybe he was locked up for the good of all of doltown lmaaaoo

as ive seen others put it: sydneys got big "sleeper build" body type. you dont expect this nerd behind the library counter to be ripped but when he flexes u see the muscle and its a big slap in the face to ur arousal meter. Q&A's have also stated sydney to be strong but lack stamina. thats fiiine its just something to work on :^)

idr if its been stated in any Q&A's (sighing again that most lore is locked away in fucking discord Q&A's...) but Personally! i think sydney has a beginning low, to medium awareness after corrupting but! his psyche is fucked and he is ACTIVELY denying any supernatural stuff bc he just. cant handle it.

or, at least, most of the alters cant; i do believe on a deeper level once you get past the trauma fueled denial, he does know and acknowledge shit isnt right. faithful alter will always deny it, fallen alter is a 50/50 leaning towards willful denial, and its probably the other more volatile alter that pops up from time to time that fully acknowledges the supernatural aspects of the time.

i have my game set to not really acknowledge genitalia in regards to pc pronouns bc fuck u. HOWEVER realistically i do think sydney learning that eris was trans literally during the rite of promise would be a very pika gasp moment and hes rolling with it bc he loves him but afterwards he Does ask questions bc he doesnt fully get it but he wants to and eris is patient about it but also mildly on the defense bc he doesnt want to be seen any different than before,,, but sydney's respectful! and after a few months of contemplation he confesses that he never really put too much thought in gender outside of "it just is what it is", but that he himself sometimes feels like an ambiguous question mark.

he still uses he/him, but having his eyes opened to the world outside of cishet normatives definitely puts some things into perspective. he DOES have to learn not to be pushy about certain things, like how ur well meaning friend who's still learning will immediately jump to correct somebody even when you urself dont wana cause a fuss lol. but its all in good faith!

no. he will not ask his dad outside of what is absolutely necessary to ask, bc he knows he's just going to leave that conversation embarrassed. he makes the mistake of offhandedly mentioning queer gender theory like Once and sirris is going on a spiel about how its normal in the animal kingdom for blahblahblah humans are the only species to have so many societal rules and blahblahblah. (sirris is very encouraging and tries not to push but he also makes a big "if theres anything u need to tell me syd, u know i love u no matter what" scene that has sydney running away at top speeds bc AAAAA NO NO U MISUNDERSTOOD AAA;;; )

probs the oldest student LI. once read a post saying something along the lines of "sydney needed to stay in school longer bc of the thing with his mom/hospitalization afterwards" and i think that fits. closer to 19 going on 20, taking remedial classes and kind of in this weird grey space of student & teachers (librarians?) aide bc of his age. +being sirris' kid. it makes for a weird reputation amongst the student body, further alienating him from others who see him as "a teachers pet, teachers kid, & a weirdo whos too old to still be in school". (theyre all over 18, but if i had to place them id say: pc/whitney -> robin -> kylar -> sydney. dont ask for my source this all vibes baybeeee).

i refuse to believe sydney would listen to dad rock. idc if it was a joke by the devs or if it was serious my disdain for dad rock forbids this LMAAAO honestly he probably isnt a very big music listener and just passively lets the radio do whatever or lets sirris choose when they drive together. non lyrical instrumental music is probably his preferred go to music, but i can for sure see him getting catchy top 20s pop songs in his head and humming them under his breath b4 catching himself and grimacing bc its not even a good song its just stupidly repetitive,,, eris' music taste is pretty broad and sharing his tunes is a love language in itself so syd gets a good dosing of different genres over time! he gravitates towards whatever eris likes in true sydney-can-never-choose-for-himself fashion buuut i could see him genuinely enjoying hard rock as a kind of cathartic stress reliever.

big baby. we already know this, but i just wana reiterate it LOL. no matter how much fallen sydney tries to be tough and seductive, hes crumpling whenever eris holds him. they are so disgustingly codependent post-rite lol

however, and maybe im delusional!!, i still think sydney leans on the caretaker/submissive top side. yes he likes to be babied to a degree but we've seen in game how he can and does take initiative once hes comfortable enough. what he lacks in skill he makes up for in eagerness to please. faithful syd may be more pillow princess but i think theres enough instances in the game to show that theres also a side of him thats actively willing to lead and will take initiative! (again, didney hc - the differences lie in the altars but we must remember theyre all still aspects of sydney as a whole!)

its loosely talked about in game, that he likes the ocean but hasnt done many beach activities since the mom incidentTM — but i like to think he has beach mementos in his otherwise very standard bedroom. post romance routing him and going on more beach dates, that collection slowly begins to grow again. its a kinda bittersweet thing, and he probably separates the mom-collection from the eris-collection.

i stated it before but again: i think hed be capable of handling a polyship (a 3 person poly relationship only, including himself) but itd have to be corrupt sydney and hed be a bit reluctant - more or less so depending on who it is youre trying to bring into the relationship.

eris canonically has sydney and kylar set as his LIs, which i feel would be the easiest to accept for sydney given their shared history. (kylar is a different story but this post isnt about him lol). hed still need to warm up to it tho, being the king of dol slowburn, but eventually hed be fine with and even include kylar in things.

now how much of this is his "i need to please pc & tailor myself to their preferences" thing mmm. depends on the third person! maybe a little something like this from most to least easily accepted: kylar -> robin -> whitney -> alex -> avery/eden -> BW/GH simply bc ur fucking with his perception of supernatural shit if theyre beastpeople & hes 100% skeeved out if theyre not.

anyways thats all for now :] ! if u hate my opinions eat my shorts its ok bc they dont have to affect ur game's worldstate or how u view ur own version of sydney!!! if u like it, woohoo! questions about anything i didnt mention? feel free to ask! *im not in the discord, im not a dev or contributor, nothing i say is canon, these are just my hcs, etc etc disclaimers.

[shigayokagayama]

Could you do Teru for the ask game?

oh boy. ok.

Sexuality Headcanon:

gay. specifically. ok. maybe my most strange and specific take. but i feel like teru being into girls would kind of make his character arc... weaker? bizarre sentence i know but. hear me out. of the shots we get of him before mob enters the picture, 2/3 of them involve him flirting with girls. post mob we never ever see him with a girl again aside from one omake where there are a crowd of them trying to ask him out on valentines day who he is turning down. i feel like we are supposed to see these relationships as being a part of his fake, "perfect" persona he sheds rather than anything that came out of general interest. he's dating them because he's the handsome popular guy and that's what he's supposed to do, not because he's actually interested at all.

Gender Headcanon:

i like bigender teru a lot

A ship I have with said character:

terumob GIANT ASTERIX in the very specific context of being post confession arc. i see heart eye panel as the exact moment his false, idolized image of mob fades away and he sees him for what he truly is and still chooses to love him flaws and all. i really do think they are able to understand each other on a much deeper level than most people because they have both seen each other at their lowest and still chosen to continue wanting to be in each others lives. they both coped with their powers by creating these perfect masks to show the world (teru's as the prodigy and mob as the nice guy who will do anything for you and never ask anything in return) and were the first to be able to identify each other's facade because they recognized themselves in them and 💥. they mean a lot to me. also i do think the "they dont hang out much post canon" thing is a slight misconception, teru says they dont plan hangouts much and usually just run into each other and hang out from there. that with teru's "you should ask me to hang out more" gives such "im so used to other people making the first move that i havent developed the skills to let people know that i want them in my life" energy it makes me a little insane. anyway.

A BROTP I have with said character:

i need him ritsu and shou to run in circles hitting each other with rocks. i think any two of them on their own hang out normally and if you have the three of them + mob its normal but just the three of them and they start inventing games like "powerline volleyball"

A NOTP I have with said character:

pre confession arc terumob. like mob would never because tsubomi but if they did date it would last one month and they would never speak again itd be so bad (spoken from experience by a person with similar attachment issues who has dated people ive been hyperfixated on before)

A random headcanon:

HES SUCH A FILM BRO I KNOW HES A FILM BRO. this kid's letterboxxed is comprised solely of 1960s horror films made on a budget of 2 dollars and if you watch any of them with him he will provide trivia the entire film. also he has npd source fucking look at him

General Opinion over said character:

hes my favoriteeeeeeee the first time he showed up with the wig i went "alright this is gonna be my favorite character" and i spent the first half of season 2 mournfully going "i miss haystack boy :(" every episode he wasnt in. and then i read the manga and i got crazy insane over him. i really do feel like the anime dumbs him down a lot manga teru is a completely different person and hes so interesting i need to like. tear holes in my drywall. god. teru.

[tetsuswaifu]

Beach Day with the Boys (Haikyu! x Reader) - Pt. 1

⋆ ♱˙𓆩☠︎︎𓆪˙♱ ⋆ feat: Bokuto Kōtarō, Kuroo Tetsurō (early relationship for both)fluff

word count: 988

a/n: i love the beach so much and i love the idea of what it would be like to go with them, so i will be writing for more of the guys soon enough, lmk if you would like to be apart for the taglist also if you have submitted a request recently, i promise ill get to them, ive got some nonserious family stuff going on thank you for being so patient w me 🫶🏼🫶🏼🫶🏼

likes, reblogs, and replies are always appreciated, thank you for taking the time to read my work :)

・❥・Bokotu Kōtarō・❥・

You and Bokuto are early to arriving at the beach, being the first one's there. Both of you wanted to stake out the best spot so you could set up the volleyball net. Bokuto was very insistent on it being in the perfect spot, making sure it far enough from the water and designated the seating area of the group. His focus about the whole thing made you laugh, you had never seen him so serious before. The guy even brought a rake to keep the area clean of anything that could injure anyone.

Once everyone arrives and unpacks their belongings, he’s eager to start a game. He chooses you as his partner and you are ecstatic. Together you dominate the sandy court with a mix of your amazing serves and his powerful spikes. After every point made, Bokuto can’t help but cheer loudly in triumph. His excitement rubbing off on others, making everyone smile.

After claiming victory, Bokuto pulls you up onto his shoulders, parading around the beach while chanting, “We are the champions!” His enthusiasm so infectious that onlookers start to clap and cheer for you.

Not surprisingly, Bokuto still has a lot of energy after the intense game so he suggests going swimming. He races you to the water; he lets you get ahead, and before you know it, you're swept off your feet and gently tackled into the waves. You laugh as you splash each other playfully. He challenges you to various water games, like who can hold their breath the longest or swim the fastest. Despite his competitive nature, he has very good sportsmanship. He will always cheer for you, regardless of who wins.

After playing in the water, you decide you want to relax and tan, while Bokuto gets in another game of volleyball. With every move he makes, his chiseled muscles glisten in the sun. You'd watch him play all day if you could.

After his match, he joins you on a beach blanket, taking a break to enjoy some fruit and cold drinks. The small talk between the both of you is enjoyable, talking about anything and everything you could think of.

As the sunset approaches, all the boys take initiative to get the bonfire going. Each person takes a seat on the logs surrounding the fire, taking turns roasting hot dogs and marshmallows, sharing funny stories about each other. Bokuto's laughter was joyful and loud, you couldn't help but smile at the sound.

When stars began to show up in the night sky, Bokuto and you excuse yourselves to take a walk down the beach. He reaches over and intertwines his fingers with yours, “I’ve had such an amazing time with you, today. You make everything so much more fun.. and I, um,” he pauses, his hand squeezes yours, “… I think I’m falling for you.” “I think I am too, Kou,” you give him a firm kiss, more than a peck but not too intense.

After his confession, you both head back to your spot and lay down on a blanket, gazing up at the stars. He pulls you closer to him, releasing a sigh of contentment. He couldn’t be happier to be surrounded by you and his friends on this wonderful, beachy day.

・❥・Kuroo Tetsurō ・❥・

When you get to the beach, Kuroo is eager and extremely prepared to get everything set up. He’s got a big canopy to sit under, a foldable table for the food, those reclining camping chairs, he’s got everything. Kuroo even brought multiple outdoor games like badminton, ladder ball, spikeball, and cornhole. He is prepared.

This man is so ready for the beach that he even brought water balloons. You didn’t even see him packing them so you were surprised when he pulled out a cooler full of them. “No, you didn’t,” you smiled as you started to grab some and back away. “Yes, I did.” He and you ran around the beach laughing, trying your best to hit each other with the colorful balloons.

After you won the war, you both sat at the table under the canopy, fixing up a plate of premade sandwiches and snacks. As you ate, you two discussed what your plans after eating were, with random conversation mixed in.

Kuroo suggests going for a walk along the shore to collect seashells. You each find some unique shells but the majority are common. Kuroo playfully pretends to find a super unique one, only to reveal another one of the common shells. You roll your eyes but still laugh at his antics.

Later, you go and swim by yourself to cool off, while Kuroo prepares to prank you. He digs a shallow hole in the sand, covering it with a towel. He lures you over, suggesting to sit with him. When you step on the towel, you sink into the hole as Kuroo laughs. He quickly gets up to help you out and apologizes, a mischievous smile on his face.

When sunset comes, Kuroo is already on top of making the fire. You expected to have to scavenge the beach for wood but, again, that man is prepared. He brought a whole case of those premade firelogs so you wouldn’t have to worry.

Kuroo looks at you, his usual playful demeanor turning serious, his features softly lit by the fire. He takes your hand with his, “Y/N, I know I joke a lot, but I want you to know I really care about you. Today was amazing because I got to share the day with you.” He hesitates a moment before leaning over to give you a soft kiss

Night arrives with beautiful stars shining in the sky. You and Kuroo lie on a blanket, gazing up at the stars. Kuroo points at various star clusters, naming them and sharing facts about each one. His passion and knowledge for the subject captivated you. You admired the smarty-pants side of his personality.

[dilucsfav]

Saw that you were writing for re!! Can i request re4 leon with shy reader? Reader usually gets flustered over little things like remembering what they like and small compliments! Reader also likes to cling onto his arm even while cuddling!! (yk how buffed his arm is who wouldnt want to)

YES YES YES. oh my god ive never written for leon before but how about start with my good old fashioned favorite (and hopefully you guys like it too) random hcs & scenarios :)

yes, i know how buffed his arm is. i would gladly hold it, too.

please dont hate on me if hes not very canon LMFAOOO, like i said ive never written for him before so hopefully these are alright ahh!

once again, another request i could not WAIT to write😭

enjoy!! :))) make sure to take time for yourself today, you deserve it!

Leon Kennedy RE4 hcs & scenarios with a shy!reader!

warning(s): the usual nsfw that i put in these, yall know the drill

before you two even got together it took a LONG time for him to confess (lord almighty knows the reader wouldnt do it for this hot fucking man with the absolute godly DUMPTRUCK he was blessed with)

^^ because leon may be tough & a fighter, hes also cheesey as fucking hell. making the worst jokes, a tease, etc.

your shy reactions from his jokes made him think you didnt appreciate them, even though you just didnt know how to respond😭, that meant it took a while before he was actually like-

"... Uhm, we should go... get a steak together, yeah? Just you and me?"

^^while nervously sweating n shit cuz hes scared he'll freak you out because of how shy you are

surprisingly to him, though, of course you said yes! just... maybe not as smoothly as he hoped. his awkward ass just kinda saying "cool," while youre twiddling with your fingers and its just a little awkward silence that he tries to relieve with a little chuckle 😭😭😭

honestly, though, you two hit it off just fine when you finally got together!

Leon is a very busy man, though, so being with you 24/7 was out of the question- it was simply impossible :(

Especially if you two were living together, and he had to go on missions, you often felt very alone & sad. Days (most of the time, weeks) of distress, worry, & crying, wondering if Leon was okay and assuming the worst happened to him.

By the time he returns, though, you are wrapped around him like a magnet. You would give him such gentle care, often wrapping your arms around his arm, your fingers clinging onto his upper arm just like glue

^^especiallyyy when you two are in public. when you meet some of leon's friends, you often cowered shyly just behind him with your hands on his arm. He wasnt bothered by it, in fact, he LOVES it because it shows your trust & how comfortable you are around him, which took a very long time for him to gain :)

leon often compliments your eyes. omg.

^^ he would hold you cheek & tilt your face, examining your eyes with a gentle smile.

^^ "Pretty thing, you are. But you already know that, now, don't you, (Y/N)?"

guys guys i personally hc this but when you guys are in public and its super crowded areas he would lead and put his hand behind him, moving his fingers to catch your attention so you can hold his hand & he can lead you through the crowd sjhdjasdjk

^^I personally hate how overwhelming crowds can be, & Leon knows how shy and timid you can be. We love our sweet boy🫶

his favorite place to hold you while you two are kissing is the side of you neck baebhjafsbjsbjkj OR LIKE JUST UNDER YOUR JAWLINE YESSS YOU ALL KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT!!!!!

also, when leon returns home after an incredibly exhausting mission, you are the first person he wants to see, no question about it. despite all the dangers and traumatic things he's seen on his missions, he trusts & loves you enough to feel safe in your arms.

he is a fucking DORK, makes the shittiest jokes and youve just learned to love them <3

his favorite cereal strikes me as either being frosted mini wheats or rice krispies? i could be wrong though tbh

THATS SO FUCKING RANDOM IM SORRY YOU GUYS LMFAO

speaking of food, he would spoil you ROTTEN with your favorites snacks, meals, drinks, anything you desire. and he'd remember every little detail about your favorite foods, least favorites, etc.

^^ OMG FLOWERS TO! he’s definitely a gift giver no doubt

i think he'd like your arms & tummy a lot though :) i can see him give so so so many little tummy kisses and shoulder kisses and wrist kisses and ahhHAHDHAH

you still get a little shy around him from his compliments & how much physical attention you get & he finds it adorable🥲

nsfw:

speaking of physical attention🌝

favorite sex position? fucking missionary. one hundred fucking percent.

god damn.

GOD DAMN.

especially with you two, its such a loving & trusting & pure relationship, it would be so intimate and ahahdjksahj

kissing through the. whole. thing.

also he'd be so sore & tired all the time from missions, he would get so flushed & feel so loved because you'd kiss the parts that hurt him & his scars & you would rub his muscles and djkasjbdasjdnkj

^^ as would he kiss your scars & any place you are insecure about <3

nah yall.... sex with him for the first time- HELP ME HE WOULD;

"Can I--, put... here... inside you, (Y/N), can I..."

STOP IT WOULD BE SO CUTE BUT SO FUNNY 😭😭

^^ in all seriousness though, it did take a few times for you two to be truly comfortable. At first it was very shy, but shit as time moved on? it was still intimate but FUCKING DAMN IT GOT HOTTER

when he has news he has to leave for a mission? he'd fuck you into oblivion until youre just sick & tired of sex (should i write a fanfic of that, somebody pls request it if so-)

hes such a dork, sometimes he makes sex so funny that it wouldnt even be uncomfortable or awkward, just straight up funny

sex would be pretty vanilla unless you asked otherwise. i think he'd take both of your hands and hold them above your head tho🌝🌝

^^you would get super nervous & embarrassed and your hands would try to cover yourself up, or cover your mouth or face from how hot you felt-- he fixed that RIGHT away and from then on he made sure he could hear all your pretty sounds

"Babe, you feel so, so fucking good... you keep your hands right up there, you hear me?"

^^ WHILE HES JUST DESTROYING YOU AND FUCK

yes, i did say it would be intimate. but did i ever say it wouldnt be rough? absolutely not.

^^bed shaking, the LOUDEST fucking noises coming from both of you guys because i just KNOW this man hits all the good fucking spots.

i say fuck a lot but thats just cuz i want leon to fu-

anyways.

[helpallthenamesaretaken]

hi so this is a bit of a rant because I had a lot on my mind and needed to get it out, don't mind me, I might have gone little mad in this. warning: probably an unpopular opinion

ok now that you're here.

why are the logical behind pre-tlo jealous!percy fics so despicable? like seriously. this is a sentiment ive seen from lot of percabeth fans, and I hate it so much.

so a lot of posts I've seen about this are like "why did percy have to have love interests ? annabeth needs a side man too to make it equal" ok first of all, why is there some weighing scale in all of this? it's not a court situation where we need to judge which side committed more crimes.

having a 'side man' for annabeth completely disrespects the feelings she was going through in the period of botl-tlo. I think most people forget that rachel wasn't her only problem during that time. luke, her older brother figure from 7 years old had been possessed by the soul of kronos. OF COURSE she would be emotionally unavailable due to her grief. at the end of botl, percy describes that SHE never came and talked to him either about the kiss or whatever. it was a mutual silent treatment. percy couldnt have confessed to annabeth even if he tried, because it was obviously a bad time for her duh. they rlly expect percy to be like "annabeth😍 I know you're going through major grief right now ❤️ but pls kiss me" the same way annabeth found it hard to confess to percy because of rachel and whatever.

people think it's really funny to write fics about annabeth flirting with someone like connor during times like when percy got exploded by the volcano. "percy was doing things with Calypso too--" HE WAS HEALING. He had to stay there for some time to heal after getting EXPLODED. he was also tempted with paradise. stuff like that isn't a decision to make in a second. having annabeth have fun with other boys with connor or smthn while she thinks percy is dead is such a disrespect to her love for percy, I wonder how people like that are percabeth fans at all. same goes for fics where annabeth does it ON PURPOSE to make percy mad.

problem with these type of fics is that they're so PETTY. "If i was annabeth I would have made percy beg on his knees" "if I was annabeth I would murder him--" BUT YOURE NOT ANNABETH. annabeth chase LOVED percy jackson and would never do something on purpose to hurt percy or annoy him. she's not vicious like you.

also percy wasn't falling all over rachel and calypso. he treated them as he would treat any other best friend and kept his distance romantically, even though it was clear he might have had a crush. making annabeth purposefully flirt with other guys or accept other guys advances doesn't equal the weighing scale, it makes it even more unequal.

look, I'm not saying annabeth can't have any love interest other than percy. she CAN find other men attractive. she CAN have interest in other men. you can write that all you want. I'm just saying it was never something so necessary and the logic behind it is so petty. and her weaponising it because of her jealousy towards rachel is just so not something she would ever do.

also, just a short note before this ends: i actually like some jealous!percy fics. some are good. it's just some people get really worked up about the fact that annabeth NEEDS a love interest to get back at percy. that's who I'm mad about. if you've written a jealous!percy fic, cool!

[hedonisticeiram]

Black brothers shenanigans: Sirius did end up killing snape. James didn't get there in time, or Sirius never told James. Basically I want shenanigans of Regulus helping hide Snapes body so his brother and his crush doesn't end up in jail.

I’m so super late to responding to this, thank you for even asking. I’m going to use this as a warmup before I write my fic update. I cannot guarantee it will be outstanding, but it will be lighthearted despite the somewhat complex nature of the topic.

A/N it was in fact not as lighthearted as I thought.

TW: Blood, Angst, MinorCD, Family Trauma, Walburga's a+ parenting.

Context: Snape does end up dying by Remus during the full, James doesn’t know yet, and Sirius has asked for Regulus’s help hiding the body. 

Sirius reaches the shack Moony is already howling in the distance for his mates. James is hot on his heals “fucking hell Pads you weren’t even thinking of what could have happened!” Peter is close behind they all stop at the same time. On the ground in front of them is the body of Snape pale torn and ripped apart. The smell of blood is so strong they collectively gag a little. Sirius turns to face the other boys. James is pale, shaking, staring directly at him. Peter is grimacing on the verge of tears but looks to them both.  

“James I can’t risk them taking him. This is my fault go to Moony, both of you I’ll take care of this, they’ll never know what happened. I can obliviate you both, like it never happened.”  

Emotions flicker across James’s face so fast he can hardly make any sense of them. Peter is the first to speak “none of us are getting sent away, you’re a Black the prophet would have a field day. Imagine what the dementors would do, let alone your parents.” 

James stands up straight “I’m in love with Regulus.” 

They both are taken aback by the declaration; Sirius head turns so quick he can hear his neck crack. “What!?” 

“You heard me I’m not repeating it.”

“Bloody hell now is not the time, Prongs.”

“Shut up Pete, it is the time if were discussing hiding a body I should hardly think a love confession is worse than an actual crime!”

“Fair.”

“I won’t even get into what this means, we’ll talk. Why now?”

“Because if Regulus loses you I don’t know what will happen! I’m not willing to risk any of us over a mistake. What do you need me to do?” 

“I’m with James, your my best mates. Sure, this isn’t ideal, I might still take you up on your offer to obliviate me, but can you manage?”

“I hate to say this, but I am a Black this is hardly the worst thing ive seen. Actually, I know who to call for help.” 

“What do we do??”

“Prongs, you and Pete keep Moony busy take him as far the boundary will allow. Keep him running, take him into the Forrest keep away from the centaurs you know how they get territorial. Find some rabbits you know he loves those. I’m going to send my patronus to Regulus. He’ll help me, we can take care of this.” James looks him over apprehensively, “are you sure?” Shaking his head as a yes, Peter hugs him quickly “I’ll catch up with Moony.” 

“I’m right behind you Pete.” Both boys stare at each other equal measures of fear and guilt eating them alive.

“James, I never meant for this. It was supposed to be a prank… I didn’t think he would come… I didn’t want this.” 

“Sirius no one wanted this… it’s not your fault it was a mistake. I need you to be honest with me, can you handle this?”

“Yes.”

“Good I trust you; I’ll do as you said keep him busy. I want you back here in the morning same as always. Got it?”

“Yeah.” James gives him a quick hug before turning darting off in the direction Peter went. 

Sirius sits next to the body adrenaline pumping he sends his Patronus to Regulus. If he’s ever regretted anything it’s this… Moony will never forgive him but he’ll be safe they all will. His wolf bounds away towards the castle. He levitates the body to the shrieking shack closing the door behind him. Sitting next to the body he can only think of all the times Snape was awful to Lily or any of them. It’s not that the poor bloke deserved it must have been terrifying but he can’t think of that now. Thinking of it he checks Snape for a pulse, nothing he’s cold as ice. Getting up he goes for the door to clean up the blood. Theres Regulus in his cloak with the hood up scowling at him no less.

“Theres blood Sirius, why is there blood.” 

“It’s not mine.”

“WHO’s is it then?”

Stepping aside he allows Regulus to see. His eyes widen briefly before he pushes past him dropping to the floor checking his pulse. “Fuck. Snape is fucking dead how did this even happen?”

“Reg, you have to believe me I never meant for this to happen.” Leaning against the door he looks at the ground in shame. Regulus gets up wand pointed at him. “Did you do this?” 

“No, then who? Tell me now, you can’t expect me to just wake me in the middle of the night to help you bury a bloody body without telling me what happened!”

“So, you’ll help?”

“Of course, you idiot, now tell me.” 

Taking a deep breathe he goes into the explanation that he intended to play a prank, not thinking. Setting Snape up for failure, thinking that he could make it there in time so he would only be scared. Moony was faster than he thought before he could get to him there was only one scream before he heard a gurgling sound. How could he ever forget the sound of Snape choking on his own blood. By the time they had got to the shack Moony had barreled off into a victory lap. Regulus takes a deep breathe running his hands through his hair.

“Let me get this straight your Boyfriends a werewolf? You wanted to play a prank on Snape, so you set him up to be scared by said Werewolf on a full moon? You traumatized your best mates, and you know what, where are they? Who else knows?” 

“We’re Animagus.” Regulus stares at him in disbelief.

“Sirius it’s not time for jokes.”

“I’m not.”

“So, they are too??”

“Yes.”

“Where are they?” It comes out more urgent then before.

“In the Forrest, with Moony keeping him away.”

“Why call me?”

“You’re the only one I can trust with this Reg. I can’t bring them into this, they aren’t like us.” Scoffing at that he laughs darkly.

“What, they aren’t dark wizards?” 

“No Regulus they aren’t, and we aren’t either, but it doesn’t mean we weren’t raised by them. This doesn’t even bother you, that’s not normal and you know it.”

“Why should it? I hardly knew him to be quite honest it’s probably for the best he was miserable otherwise.”

“I didn’t call you to be lectured, but you came...” Regulus is chewing on the inside of his lip deep in thought. 

“You called.” That simple, at the end of the day he would always come. 

“Reg, tell me what to do to make it right.” It comes out a soft plea he hates the way he sounds. Regulus looks up at him turning to Snapes body pointing his wand at it.

“Diminuendo”

The body shrinks, Regulus walks around the shack trying to find an object to transform into a box. Eventually he finds an old piece of wood laying on the ground. Transforming it into a box he levitates the body inside of it, closing it after. 

“How do you know that spell?”

“What do you think I’ve been doing this whole time you’ve been off at the Potters. You think they would just let me waltz out of there on my own.”

“What did you plan to do, Kill them?!”

“If need be, move.” 

“Where are you going??”

“We’re going for a late-night flight. Accio broom.” 

They both open the door to the shack gently stepping out. Casting a tempus its nearly 3am they don’t have much time. 

“I have to be back by 5am.”

“We aren’t going far.” Regulus catch’s his broom as it comes flying towards them. 

“Get on.” Regulus mounts the broom first then Sirius holding the box between them. 

“Hold on.” They fly over the Lake, taking twist and turns they end up over a cave that’s rather large. 

“Your joking is that where we’re going?”

“Yes.” They touch down dismounting Regulus leans his broom against a rock. “Follow me.”

“Regulus what the fuck is this?”

“A cave are you blind and dumb?”

“How do you know this is here?” 

“I told you they wouldn’t let me leave on my own if I need too I’ll do what I have too. Now follow me, watch where you’re going.” Casting a Lumos they walk deep into the cave coming to a stop there’s a pit in the ground. It smells of sulfur as if there’s been a fire burned here before.

“Drop the box in there.” Letting the box go he steps back.

“Now what?”

“Do you trust me” 

“With my life.”

“Stand over by that wall.”

“Pestis Incendium.”

A snake made of flames shoots out of Regulus wand devouring the box. The heat from it is hot against his skin, staring in disbelief is this really his baby brother that he left.

“Finite.”

Regulus is panting leaning against the wall. 

“Regulus what have they done to you??” Scowling at him he tries to catch his breathe.

“Don’t be dramatic, I did this for me. I can’t have you going to Azkaban for a stupid prank. What family would I have left?”

“You’re going to kill them??” The disbelief is evident in his voice because Regulus turns to him enraged.

“Of course, I’m going to kill them, after all they’ve done! To me, to you, to others! Do you think they deserve to live?!” Regulus is fuming he’s never seen his brother this angry, this uncomposed. He left him there to fend for himself and this is what has become of him. 

“Regulus…I’ll help.”

“What??”

“I said ill help; you helped me get rid of a body I’ve waited my whole life for you to want to leave. I said I’ll help.” Regulus face softens.

“I couldn’t come with you that night. It didn’t mean I didn’t want too…”

“I know.”

“No, you don’t, they imperrioed me to stay if you would have tried to take me they would have made me kill you... This is nothing, I would hide a thousand bodies before I hurt you.”

“Reg...”

Before he realizes it he’s walking towards him wrapping him in a tight embrace. Regulus goes rigid before he slowly relaxes in his arms. Sirius doesn’t comment on the tears welling in either of their eyes. Regulus pulls away first not unkindly just resigned. 

“We’re really a sight for sore eyes. We should get you back, suns going to be coming up soon.”

They pull apart slowly looking at one another cautiously. “James fancies you, he has a proper crush on you.” 

“What!??”  Regulus chokes on his own spit for a brief moment coughing up a lung. 

“Oh, stop it, you just incinerated a body that’s what makes you choke?” They both start laughing, Sirius stops looking at Regulus his cheeks are stained pink he’s beaming. Pointing his finger at him he starts to stare in disbelief.

“Your joking, you fancy him!” Regulus goes still “I don’t not fancy him.”

“I didn’t even know you fancied blokes at all.” 

“Well, there’s a lot you don’t know about me, I would like you too…” Regulus looks at him with hope in his eyes suddenly he’s 6 years old again staring up at his big brother waiting for their next move. Sirius is 7 with Regulus trailing behind him, 8 with Regulus running after him as they play, 9 with Regulus showing him how to open the cupboard… Now he’s the one to follow Regulus out of the cave. 

They land next to the shack quietly Regulus sneaks a glance at Sirius. 

“You better get going, they’ll be heading back soon. Reg, find me later today we need to talk, figure this all out. Thank you… Je t'aime petit roi."

 "Je t'aime aussi, Siri."

 With that he turns towards the castle making his way back. Sirius sits against the shack waiting for the others, he hears Moony stumble in followed by the cries of pain that come with the transformation. Then the footsteps of his mates, James looks at him expectantly.  

“It’s done. I regret it happening, but I think it might have saved my life.”

Peter sits next to him wrapping his arm around his shoulders.

“Pads, you okay?” 

“Yeah, Wormy I think I will be.” 

“Prongs, you’re in luck he fancies you back.”

James’s face goes blank before he starts to beam. 

“Pads this isn’t a time to joke.” 

“I’m not, couldn’t make today up if I tried.” 

“Bloody hell, what a full to have.”

 “Anything for our Moony.”  

They start to laugh in disbelief and shock, they head back to the castle quickly as to not get caught by their professors. The next couple of weeks will be rough but he has no doubt they’ll be ok.       

[emlovslennon]

hiiiii could you do teddy john and sort of “square” reader are rivals and always fighting. then one day she asks him why he teases her so much and he confesses he likes her 😸😸 thanks LOADSSSS

HIII IM SORRY THIS IS SO LATE IVE BEEN SO BUSY ITS INSANE but here we go ladies cuz we need more teddy boy content in our lives cuz there can never be enough teddy boy <3

-

era: 1960

-

you and John have done nothing but butting heads recently, whether it be arguing over music taste or arguing over what a movie to watch, it’s just gotten more and more frequent.

“Y/n, move out of my fucking way dammit!” John yelled, you didn’t move a muscle as you stared up at him by the doorway, you guys were assigned partners for an art project for your college final and you two just wouldn’t quit, constantly going at it.

“No, quite frankly, Lennon, you’re not my father, so I don’t have to do anything you tell me to.”

“Yea? Well it’s my bloody house, if you know what’s good for ya, you’ll move.” He said, looking deep into your eyes, you froze, you couldn’t help but feel something deep inside, it felt strange, you couldn’t put your finger on it, even if you wanted to. I mean, there had to be a reason he’s been so brutal lately.

“Why are you acting like this John? You know, I’ve heard that when somebody acts like this, it means they like them and they’re just too embarrassed to admit it. Is that what this is? Hm?” You asked, he look stunned, you could slowly start to see a red flush paint his face, you couldn’t deny, it was the cutest thing you’ve ever seen.

“Y/n, please don’t start with that shit.” He said, softly shoving you out of his way to sit down on the couch.

“John, i don’t care, if this is why you’re being such a twat then I don’t mind… you know, you’re a very handsome man, John, if i do say so myself.” You said, speaking very quietly on the last part, but you know he heard. He turned to you and his blush intensified, he shifted in his seat.

“I.. y/n… fuck it, ya know what, I do like you, okay? Is that what you fucking want to hear? I just.. I feel like I’m just not good enough for ya cuz you’re little miss sunshine and rainbows and im probably the most hated fucking man in Liverpool.” He confessed, covering his face with his hands, you slowly walked over to him, removing his hands from his face and sitting next to him, placing his hands into your own.

“Listen, I know we have been at each others throats, but you could have just told me, i like you too, why do you think I always call you every night and try to see you every chance I get? I don’t care if you’re the most man wanted in Great Britain, I really like you and… I wouldn’t mind going around saying I’m John Lennon’s girlfriend.” You said comfortingly, John moved his hand to slowly caress your cheek, looking into your eyes again, but in a different kind of manner, it looked like the glare you give when you’re down right in love.

“Birdie.. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m so ashamed to have been so cruel to a precious thing like you. I’ve wanted you for so damn long, y/n. Will you forgive me, please? I’ll do anything for ya, I’m a fool, y/n, but it’s all for you.” He said, tears covering his eyes, he looked so vulnerable, you’ve never seen him like this, but coming to the realization you broke that wall down that he’s had for such a long time, is refreshing.

“John, of course, you don’t need to ask, I’m all yours Johnny, I promise.” You whisper, before leaning in to give him a long awaited kiss.

-

OKAY THIS WAS ALSO SHORT BUT THIS ONE KINDA GOT ME INTO MY FEELINGS NGL BUT I REALLY HOPE YOU LIKED IT <33

[destinyc1020]

Sunday Confessions:

1. I wonder if Sydney n her man r actually going to get married. I dnt care for her bt feel for her somewhat cuz i think she met him when she was like 18/19.. and they have a 13 yr age gap 💀 they also work together, he does smthn regarding her production company so, their very attached. If he treats her well then good for her

2. I really dnt get showcasing your kid as much as DDG do. Hes a beautiful boy bt the amound of weirdos online... culdnt b me personally, i find it dangerous and the kid didnt ask to get showcased. I remember this tweet of Halle complaining about ppl speaking on her career/son and telling folks to leave her alone. I dnt think folks shuld tell her how to live her life and in no way is it ok to comment on a baby negatively, bt then at the same time yr bf/baby daddy is literally tweeting, livestreaming and making youtube videos that showcase yr son☠️ make it make sense.

3. Ik folks like to clown John David bt imo he really aint that bad of a actor, he just isnt his dad lol i found him to b fine in everything ive seen him in. I think his sister, Olivia Washington is a beyter actor bt i guess nepotism dsnt apply if your a brown/dark skinned woman 😔

4. Nt deuxmoi havimg the Kaia/Austin rumor and JE/Olivia vacation pics side by side lol the 4 of them stay connected lmaoo

https://www.instagram.com/deuxmoi/?hl=en

5. I wuldnt b shocked if Ayo/Jeremy had smthn down the line lol mayb they really r just good friends bt that video if him rubbing her back/touching her braids at that baseball gamr awhile back was suspicious. Mayb their just really touchy tho lol

1. Giiiiirrrrrl....I don't think so. 👀 Anytime I've seen super long engagements like this, they almost NEVER actually make it down the aisle, and the couple actually ends up breaking up. You can't be THAT busy to just get married lol.

2. I haven't been seeing what Duck Duck Goose has been posting on his social media tbh, but you all already know how I feel about him. 😒 Halle did not procreate with a man on her level (if you ask me), but hey, it's her life, not mine! 🤷🏾‍♀️ As long as she's happy, then oh well! 😅🤐

3. Rofl 🤣 Hey girl, it's okay if you've always loved JDW's acting. Art is subjective anyway lol. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I thought he was horrible in "TENET". Everyone (including the extras and side characters were all out-acting him, and he actually has an Oscar-winning ACTOR for a father! 😩🥴😭 I didn't think he was that bad in "Blackkklansman". JDW did some theater more recently, so he's probably improved quite a bit! I will always give someone another chance or two lol. 🤭

4. 🤭🤣😅

5. You know what, I used to kinda think so too in the past, but the way she recoiled back in sheer HORROR when they asked her on the red carpet about his sexy photoshoot for some magazine, I said to myself, "Errrmmmm....I guess NOT!" LOL 😆 🤣 She didn't even try to play it off lol! 😅 She literally FLINCHED like it was something painful to even think of him in that way! Rofl 🤣 I actually posted her reaction on my blog! 😅 So, from then on, I figured that she must really only view him strictly as a brother lol. I don't think there's ever been anything there girl lol. Her gut-level, instant reaction told me everything I needed to know rofl 🤣

[checkeredscarff]

hii!!! its been ages since ive last seen a bandori writer im so happy!! if you do poly, could you write relationship headcanons with aya and chisato? its totally okay if not ^^

OML IK 😭 There's like no Moca fics which is a BIG part of the reason I started to write for this fandom 🫶

-ˋˏ r᥆sᥱ g᥆ᥣძ ˎˊ-

┆Poly!Ayachisa head canons!

-ˋˏWarnings┆none!ˎˊ-

-------------------

Reader is heavily implied to be fem but pronouns are never mentioned! GRRRRR MY HC POSTS ALWAYS FEEL TOO SHORT SRRY ANON 😭 This is split into two sections! Sorry if this is off, I've never written about poly relationships! > < May be OOC!

Not proofread cuz I suck :c

-♯ ⍴rᥱ-rᥱᥣᥲ𝗍і᥆ᥒsһі⍴

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Chisato was probably the type to be too focused for romance. I feel like she'd certainly notice how her feelings shift about you and Aya but she never confesses herself.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Chisato was most definitely very secretive about it. The only sign you ever probably got was the fact that she was becoming increasingly caring towards you and Aya.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Aya is probably the one that confessed first. She did it on Valentine's day to be specific, giving you both letters about how she feels. She expressed in those letters how she liked the two of you and how you guys would feel about being together.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ On that note, Aya isn't as secretive about it as Chisato but neither is she very obvious about it. She just gives you subtle hints.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Aya is the kind of girl to get you three 'friendship' bracelets, matching keychains, phone charms, and necklaces.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Chisato probably called you and asked you if you wanted to talk it over with her and how you felt about it. Ever so considerate <3

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Aya and Chisato literally never make plans to hang out unless it's with you. Same goes for you. None of you guys hang out outside of school without anyone.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ If you're in their band or in your own, you guys definitely practice with each other. Only if your practicing on your own of course. I hate that I never have a lot for the pre-relationship head canons T-T

-♯ ძᥲ𝗍іᥒg

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ The two have to keep your relationship hidden because of their status as idols but Aya absolutely despises it. She wants to hold your hands in public and give you both kisses instead of just acting like you guys are 'really close friends'. She doesn't see a point, the fans if ur in the idol industry with them already ship you guys anyways!

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Chisato cares ofc but she's a bit more serious than Aya. She definitely kisses and hugs you two whenever you guys are alone with each other but never in public.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ You guys always have sleep overs. It's the one time you get full privacy to show your affection for each other! So, on that note, you're all extremely over affectionate in private. You guys cuddle up in a bed all night and give each other goodnight kisses <3

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ If you can sew or anything related to clothes, they'll ask you to add element's of yourself on their stage costumes ao they're always reminded of you. Their stage outfits also always have each others colors after they start dating.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ They absolutely love adding lyrics about you if possible. Kind of like that RAS song where PAREO wrote 'I love you' as a lyric and CHU² replies with her own 'I love you' <3

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Unless you explicitly tell them it's okay, they will absolutely never go on dates without you. They feel bad leaving you out of anything :(

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ I feel like they're absolute favorite thing to do is practice and sing with you. Something like a karaoke night would be so fun!! They'd also love to practice dances with you, especially Aya!

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ After you three got together, there was a very significant change in their performances. They were much more lively and happy at school too! ^^

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Chisato oddly adores it when either of you wear her gloves. It's a weird thing of hers <3

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ If you're into theatre. . Oh boy. Chisato will absolutely practice lines with you. She's also always gonna audition for any plays you're in, especially if they're romantic.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Whenever Aya and Chisato kiss, they have to include you. Whether they have to go looking for you just to give you a kiss or just turn over to kiss you.

⋆ ˚🪻 ⁀➴ ꒰ Aya calls you 'Sweetheart' and 'Love' but nothing else while Chisato only ever calls you 'Hun'.

@rhythmstage

-------------------

Thank you for reading! Reblogs are appreciated! -🪻

[yukittywrites]

Motorcycles and Bad Boys~

this time i didn't forget about you guys! ive been writing about yuta from nct on my ao3 and not focusing on threadfics so i havent reformatted any for a while!

check out my ao3 @Yukitty_Writes for longer oneshots! (im talking 15-50k words)

warnings// nothing, just some sexy teasing!

700 words, minhwa, 3rd person POV

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙

"I'm going to kill myself, I'm never showing my face again, I'm moving to America." Seonghwa moans, collapsing onto a table in the college cafe. "

Why?" Hongjoong asks. Yunho laughs, "Someone overheard Hwa ranting about how much he wants Mingi to fuck him—" "

Song or Lee?"

"Song. and they filmed it, then posted the video and tagged like half the student body so now everyone has seen."

Hongjoong winces, "Really Hwa? Bad boy, player, Song Mingi?"

"But he's hot though!"

"He's never even going to look at you."

"I know that! Which is why I was fine with just crushing on him, but no!" Seonghwa says melodramatically.

Yunho laughs, "At least it's not the worst you've ever told us you wanted him to do."

"I could've spent my whole life without anyone knowing that I wanted Mingi to fuck me against his fucking motorcycle!" Seonghwa hisses.

Hongjoong chokes on his coffee "Holy shit, that's what everyone heard you say? That's so embarrassing for you." he gasps.

Seonghwa whines, "Wow, I couldn't tell, the fact that I had four different people call me a variation of 'slut' today didn't clue me in!"

"I think there's a solution to this." Yunho says.

Seonghwa looks up, hoping for the solution.

"Just confess to him."

"No! What the fuck? You want me to just walk up to him and say "Hey, you heard me say I wanted you to fuck me against a motorcycle, and I really want to date you?" Like that's not creepy?" he whispers.

"Well he just entered the cafe, so you have a chance." Hongjoong says.

"Oh fuck, kill me now. Hide me from him."

"He's walking towards us."

"No, no, no, no." Seonghwa says quickly, sliding down in the chair as Mingi moves closer.

When the man of the hour finally arrives, Seonghwa sits up despite wanting to crawl under the table the second he stood in front of them.

"Hey, sweetheart, I see you have a little crush on me." a deep voice purrs from behind him.

Yunho practically snorts as Seonghwa's face goes bright red at the voice.

"Oh don't ignore me Seonghwa, you know you're beautiful, right?" Mingi says, now standing directly beside him. Seonghwa makes the mistake of looking Mingi in those beautiful foxy, lined, eyes and now he can't even speak.

"Oh wow, you're really cute." he grins. Seonghwa's lips part in shock.

"Are you gonna say something back to me, baby?" Mingi smirks.

Seonghwa's lips part further as his eyes widen. He jolts when Yunho kicks him in the shin, saying, "Please say something before you embarrass yourself further."

One would think he would manage to make a coherent sentence, or say hello like a normal person. Instead the words that tumble out of his mouth are "You're hot."

His hands reach up to slap over his mouth at the same time Hongjoong and Yunho groan simultaneously.

Mingi laughs, his deep voice sending waves over Seonghwa's body and getting him embarrassingly aroused. "Oh I've heard that from a lot of people, sweetheart. I've heard it from your mouth before. After all, weren't your words 'Mingi could bend me over his motorcycle with everyone watching and I'd tell him 'yes sir, more''"

Seonghwa's face goes redder, "I-I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

"Do I look uncomfortable, baby? If you're into it, then almost anything is possible." Mingi grins, gripping Seonghwa's face between his thumb and forefinger.

Seonghwa resists the urge to moan, his eyes lidding as he gulps. "Aw, would you look at that. You look like you're about to cum in your pants." Mingi murmurs, his lips close to Seonghwa's.

"THAT'S ENOUGH!" Hongjoong yelps, slightly horrified.

"This is a public place, not a bedroom." Yunho laughs.

Mingi's smirk only deepens and darkens, "Well then what do you say, Seonghwa? Want to come to my bedroom?"

"Oh god, please." Seonghwa gasps. Mingi pulls him up from his seat as Seonghwa almost stumbles into him.

"Then let's go." Mingi murmurs.

"And do me a favour, sweetheart, try to cover that big problem you have down there."

⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚⁺‧͙⁺˚*•̩̩͙

oneshot book containing this one and more linked here