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daisywords · 1 year ago
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One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.
Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.
It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?
Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.
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knowvergreen · 7 months ago
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Passwordless and Passkeys
Ugh! Passwordless ​ Photo by Anna Shvets ​ Passwordless can seem to give some indigestion! 😂 Why? Because the name may suggest that it’s insecure, somehow. It has to be. Right? Nah! Well, not really. It depends on how I, the administrator, set it up and on the end users’ re-education on security. It also would mean an organization re-education as well. Multi-Factor authentication, YubiKey,…
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gay-otlc · 2 months ago
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Comparing the privilege of marginalized men vs similarly marginalized women doesn't work the same for trans people as it does for cis people. Cis men and cis women who are marginalized in the same way will both suffer from their shared oppression(s), but cis women will be suffer from that shared oppression and misogyny, while cis men largely won't be (at least not as systemic targets of misogyny), giving them relative privilege over the aforementioned cis women.
But trans men and trans women are both targets of systemic misogyny. The claim that trans men and trans women both suffer from transphobia, but only trans women suffer from transphobia and misogyny, would be false. Similarly, it would be false to claim that only trans men suffer from both transphobia and misogyny, while trans women suffer from transphobia but not misogyny.
Trans men suffer from transphobia and misogyny, and trans women suffer from transphobia and misogyny, and neither group of trans people has the relative privilege of not being systemic targets of misogyny.
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aurosoul · 1 month ago
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I think the craziest thing about recovering from a relapse of any chronic health condition is how noticeable it is when your various brain functions start coming back online
like, OH! critical thinking skills!
BAM! empathy is back!
WOW! planning and foresight! thought I’d lost you for sure that time.
and then other times there’s no pow moment, you just wake up one day not having to wait 5 seconds for words to kick in and then you’re like
ah! speech processing. didn’t realize I lost you but I’m glad to have to say ‘huh’ less
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radley-writes · 2 months ago
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genuinely worries me that some of you think the biggest threat to feminism in 2024 is trans men having words to talk about their lived experience
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pyrosomatic-metamorphosis · 11 months ago
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tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.
but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.
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thedailydescent · 7 months ago
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pretty fitting then that claudia escaped her father and her daughter role during the 40s when traditional family structures were decreasing in america due to the war, and died just before the 50s, a time when marriage and nuclear family ideals started being heavily emphasized again.
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abirddogmoment · 2 months ago
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We're learning about grouse hunting together!
I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.
This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.
With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).
There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.
(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)
Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!
We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.
(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)
The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!
She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!
#rory borealis#about aurora#bird dog training#dogblr#this is a long one!#its pretty rambly about my thoughts about grouse hunting training so far#one real issue im having right now is how gear-sensitive rory is#she will happily wear a regular collar (or an ecollar - shes conditioned to wearing it but i dont use it on her yet)#but i cant put a bell or a belly protector on her without her freaking out#it makes her super shut down and upsetti and it sucks#ultimately its not a big deal because she ranges appropriately and i can have eyeballs on her at all times#but i would like her to wear an orange belly protector for these kinds of outings because its hard on her body#i have to revisit gear desensitization once shes done her heat#ive never had a dog that was this avoidant of gear tbh#on the note about gear:#rory has exceptional recall especially for a young bird dog#you'll notice im running her naked without an ecollar or gps collar#if youre following along and want to train your dog for grouse hunting PLEASE use appropriate gear for your dog#dont ruin the privilege of running dogs on public land by not having reliable control over your loose dog#i really dont gatekeep most of the areas i run my dog - i am so so happy to give local people recommendations on where to run#but please please please dont be the person who ruins it for us#i dont say this to be rude like live your dream#but consider the ethics and the privilege of having access to these areas and how easily they could be taken away#(sorry thats a rant but you get it)
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yuri-puppies · 6 months ago
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i am so fucking attuned to neurodivergent/neurodivergent king and kingmaker dynamics that for a brief, horrifying second i started shipping riz/kristen
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inkskinned · 1 year ago
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so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.
first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.
it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.
and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.
you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.
and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.
your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.
in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.
in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.
so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.
you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.
once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.
and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"
you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?
hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!
you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.
we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?
#where's the word woman in this u might wonder if u suck#good news i am nonbinary and have a uterus so that is something that can happen#im also gender fluid tho which means im immune to certain psychic damage bc if u call me a woman i'll be like <3 okay <3#writeblr#the tightrope of ''ppl need access to this''#and like also#''what the fuck is going on over there'' is like. so difficult as an activist#i was <3 punctured <3 during mine#and almost bled out on the table :) they didn't have anyone standing by bc it's ''just a little insertion''#so i started crashing and i vaguely remember apologizing for the fuss as i heard my heart rate monitor start going <3 tachycardic <3#she wasn't even a bad doctor tbh#ps btw the reason i even HAD a heart monitor is that i have a genuine heart condition and they knew GOING IN that there was a chance#i'd crash on the table#like my heart just likes to do fun little tricks and <3 stop working <3 (i do not want to discuss the specifics ty i am okay im ontop of it#and they were like 'oh u will be fine' and then she did do a puncture thru my uterus . pop!#and im sitting there dizzy and feeling my heartrate start to drop bc it feels almost. beautiful. like. the whole ground just#woosh! out from under you. and shit is like grey's anatomy. i'm looking up at her grey eyes#she's old she wears this nice shawl she's like got Cool Lesbian vibes and people are sprinting into the room#from other parts of the clinic unrelated to me. while the monitor is like a little aria singing#and shes like hey youre okay stay awake stay with me something went wrong we have to keep trying#and i remember thinking - i was trying to think of nice things. i have so many beautiful places that now overlap#with this terrible memory#i became dimly aware that there was too much on her wrists and hands. like#that was too many liters#and then when they had finished all this. i packed up and drove myself home#i have had (bad thing) happen to me. and the same feeling happened after#that numb almost lamblike bleating. you cry without noise. like. ur body is so shocked and ur mind so empty#you just stare at the road and everything everything is happening behind glass and static and you are standing so far away from it#while you hold ur hands at 10 and 2. and something in ur brain is SCREAMING at you - IT WAS BAD AND IT SHOULDNT HAVE HAPPENED#and ur just watching the alarms in your body going off and youre thinking. a little pinch! ha. i think i just lost something important.
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cinderpaw11 · 4 months ago
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Beautiful women named excessive heat warning keep messaging me
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kirby-the-gorb · 1 year ago
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kimberlyborelli · 6 months ago
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GETTING RID OF NEGATIVE SELF Talk WITH CHASTITY BELT
I'm suffering from extreme negative self talk. In my case I'm not only very hard to myself, I'm bullying myself literally.
Yesterday I catched myself how I behaved very disrespectful to myself and to my body. I went to a Kinky convention and I bullied myself extreme. All my thoughts were about: I'm fat, my body is wrong, I hate my life, I don't deserve being owned....
I'm so fed up now... I even have problems to get aroused or to please others because I'm too busy with negative self talk.
I decided a measurement to get rid of that nonsense. I decided to get denied because I'm very disrespectful to myself. So I'm starting at zero and also change my way of thinking. My body deserves respect... How I can respect my Master when I'm not able to respect myself...
So. I'm wearing a chastity belt right now and starting to conditioning the negative habits away. Instead of: I'm a fat cow, I'm saying I'm a hot delicious slut...
I'll keep you updated how the training works...
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fjordfolk · 7 months ago
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when someone in ur circle goes to spontaneously pick up an 8yo cavalier a day's drive away with no info other than 'its free' and 'retired from breeding' and also 'they had a lot of dogs and couldn't keep them all' and you think hooooo boy let's hope for a miracle. but 3 weeks later you hear the dog has possession issues, almost no teeth left, a heart murmur, and an itch they were told could be allergies but vet thinks is neurological and well. there weren't any miracles to be had i guess.
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destroyingangelneveragod · 1 year ago
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kill 'em with kindness
fuck no it;s autistic rage time
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kazanskyy · 2 years ago
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shiv having her husband in her contacts as FirstName LastName with no photo of him, so an incoming call from him would just look like a call from any other random contact...but then also having him set up as her Emergency Contact in her phone's Medical ID profile...shiv thesis.
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