#conditional access

[daisywords]

One of my biggest nitpicks in fiction concerns the feeding of babies. Mothers dying during/shortly after childbirth or the baby being separated form the mother shortly after birth is pretty common in fiction. It is/was also common enough in real life, which is why I think a lot of writers/readers don't think too hard about this. however. Historically, the only reason the vast majority of babies survived being separated from their mother was because there was at least one other woman around to breastfeed them. Before modern formula, yes, people did use other substitutes, but they were rarely, if ever, nutritionally sufficient.

Newborns can't eat adult food. They can't really survive on animal milk. If your story takes place in a world before/without formula, a baby separated from its mother is going to either be nursed by someone else, or starve.

It doesn't have to be a huge plot point, but idk at least don't explicitly describe the situation as excluding the possibility of a wetnurse. "The father or the great grandmother or the neighbor man or the older sibling took and raised the baby completely alone in a cave for a year." Nope. That baby is dead I'm sorry. "The baby was kidnapped shortly after birth by a wizard and hidden away in a secret tower" um quick question was the wizard lactating? "The mother refused to see or touch her child after birth so the baby was left to the care of the ailing grandfather" the grandfather who made the necessary arrangements with women in the neighborhood, right? right? OR THAT GREAT OFFENDER "A newborn baby was left on the doorstep and they brought it in and took care of it no issues" What Are You Going to Feed That Baby. Hello?

Like. It's not impossible, but arrangements are going to have to be made. There are some logistics.

[knowvergreen]

Passwordless and Passkeys

Ugh! Passwordless ​ Photo by Anna Shvets ​ Passwordless can seem to give some indigestion! 😂 Why? Because the name may suggest that it’s insecure, somehow. It has to be. Right? Nah! Well, not really. It depends on how I, the administrator, set it up and on the end users’ re-education on security. It also would mean an organization re-education as well. Multi-Factor authentication, YubiKey,…

[gay-otlc]

Comparing the privilege of marginalized men vs similarly marginalized women doesn't work the same for trans people as it does for cis people. Cis men and cis women who are marginalized in the same way will both suffer from their shared oppression(s), but cis women will be suffer from that shared oppression and misogyny, while cis men largely won't be (at least not as systemic targets of misogyny), giving them relative privilege over the aforementioned cis women.

But trans men and trans women are both targets of systemic misogyny. The claim that trans men and trans women both suffer from transphobia, but only trans women suffer from transphobia and misogyny, would be false. Similarly, it would be false to claim that only trans men suffer from both transphobia and misogyny, while trans women suffer from transphobia but not misogyny.

Trans men suffer from transphobia and misogyny, and trans women suffer from transphobia and misogyny, and neither group of trans people has the relative privilege of not being systemic targets of misogyny.

[pikhachu]

girls when their issues get dismissed as anxiety for the millionth time

[snortslaxatives]

Not to be really annoying and go ‘well actually’ to the joke about how silcos a twink who probably didn’t do shit in the mines and that miners all look like vander and are these big buff burly dudes is very much some propaganda in ur brain and not the reality of what conditions are like for miners from impoverished communities. You know they use children in mines bc they’re small right. If you’ve consumed any footage showing messed up mining communities that exists irl, like people who work in cobalt mines in Congo, they’re muscular, but at a glance, they’re not jacked and look pretty average. I think a lot of people are surprised seeing that they tend to be small and lanky for people doing hard manual labor all day, but that comes from not being able to afford enough quality food. You have to eat a ton of calories to get built, and that isn’t something many people who work in mines have.

[aurosoul]

I think the craziest thing about recovering from a relapse of any chronic health condition is how noticeable it is when your various brain functions start coming back online

like, OH! critical thinking skills!

BAM! empathy is back!

WOW! planning and foresight! thought I’d lost you for sure that time.

and then other times there’s no pow moment, you just wake up one day not having to wait 5 seconds for words to kick in and then you’re like

ah! speech processing. didn’t realize I lost you but I’m glad to have to say ‘huh’ less

[radley-writes]

genuinely worries me that some of you think the biggest threat to feminism in 2024 is trans men having words to talk about their lived experience

[pyrosomatic-metamorphosis]

tbh i think that even unwinnable fights should be winnable. some of the BEST fights i've ever run as a dm were ones i built kill the players (in a fun way. I had some cutscenes prepped so even the loss would be a different flavour of win)- but then they were clever bastards and managed to either win the fights or pull themselves out of trouble. I think it's perfectly fine to plan for a fight that players aren't supposed to win, but you need to let them. if they can't win, they can't lose, and the meaning of that encounter is diminished. do that too many times, and they stop trusting you to give them roleplay prompts and start expecting to sit there waiting while you drive the story for them.

but if they can win... if there is always the chance to win, no matter how impossible the odds, then they ALWAYS have hope. they always get invested. they feel the big emotions of success or the big emotions of failure, and you fucking Win as a dm/roleplay prompter/lead bastard.

[abirddogmoment]

We're learning about grouse hunting together!

I was really undecided on whether I wanted to hunt with Rory for realsies because I don't have a shotgun and I don't really care to get a shotgun (I have a gun license from my time up north). I have a small air rifle and a tactical slingshot (both legal for hunting small game in my area) so I've been taking those for walks in hunting areas, along with all my permits and stuff, just to see what we see.

This grouse woods is in the same corner as my swamp, just a different part of the rec area. You can legally hunt small game during the open season with dogs with some restrictions (certain distance from the parking, some trails close for hunting on a rotational basis for maintenance, etc.) but it's not terribly popular so it's a really good area to learn. We are looking for ruffed grouse and rabbit, both of which are super common out here.

With pointing dogs like britts, you generally don't want to shoot any game unless they're pointing steady (*except when doing gun conditioning, but that's a specific training set up) - it makes sense because a shot bird is the ultimate reward and you want to make sure you're reinforcing the behaviour you want, which is usually a safe steady point. Rory isn't pointing steady yet so there's really not much for me to do on these walks besides reinforce good manners (recall, how far she ranges, etc.).

There's a really well known saying in pointing dogs, which is wild birds make bird dogs. Wild birds flush (fly away) much more reliably than farmed birds so the chances of a dog catching a wild bird is really minimal compared to farmed birds. It's super important to get young bird dogs on wild birds as much as possible so they learn all the important skills: how to navigate terrain, what habitat holds birds, what each bird species smells like, how far they can range, and most importantly, that they need a person to actually get a bird.

(Most of these skills can be taught with planted birds in training, but planted birds may be more habituated to people and dogs so they might not flush reliably. Once pointing dogs learn that they can catch birds themselves, it's much harder to foster a strong stop and point. You might see people using these tip ups, which protect the training bird from the dog. You'll often see training dogs on long lines (called check cords) or with a flank collar to reinforce not getting too close to the bird, but you have to phase those out quickly so the dog doesn't become dependent on them. You also have to be really careful with scent trails when setting up planted birds or you might end up with a dog that follows your scent instead of looking for birds organically. And of course, you have to train without birds sometimes so the dog doesn't get discouraged about not finding birds quickly because sometimes there just aren't birds out there. Lots to consider when setting up training!)

Anyway I've been trying to get Rory out on wild birds as much as possible (with the caveat that we don't run wild birds during nesting season) so we're wandering the grouse woods lately. My early recall training is really paying off because she's been super reliable in terms of good manners, it's wonderful to see!

We've been out four times (1-2 hours each) so far since the season opened. The first two times we're mostly just a pleasant walk in the woods, Rory didn't really know what we were doing so she was just vibing (THIS IS TOTALLY FINE, SHE'S NEW TO THIS). We had a couple chance grouse encounters and I could see the wheels turning, I encouraged her to sniff around where the grouse were sitting before they flew off and I watched her start to connect the dots.

(It's important to remember that dogs don't know what they're looking for until you show them. Most bird dogs are naturally birdy, but they don't know which birds are good and which birds are boring! You have to show them which birds you care about - this is easiest if you can run with an experienced hunting dog, but you can do it alone like I am by making a big deal about any interest in the "correct" birds.)

The last time we went out to the grouse woods, she did a couple of really nice whip-arounds when she caught scent she liked and followed scent off the trail I was walking! This is the behaviour I want to see so it was awesome to watch it start to click! She trailed a moose (don't want that, she found some moose pee to roll in so whatever), a pileated woodpecker (again, don't want that but it was cool to see), and two separate grouse. The first was on the wrong side of the fence so I couldn't do anything about it but she held a really nice point (the photo) and I gave her a ton of chicken and praise for it. The second was a quick point but it flushed really far away so there was no finding it again. Both birds weren't visible when she found them, they were true scent points and she was strategically looking for them so that was super cool!

She's still in heat and super sensitive right now so I wouldn't shoot over her anyway, but I'm getting pretty accurate with my slingshot so I'm hoping we can connect on something this fall - both for her pointing steady and me aiming properly. She gets more steady and more sure of herself every time we go out so it's only a matter of time!

[inkskinned]

so one of the things that's so horrifying about birth control is that you have to, like, navigate this incredibly personal choice about your body and yet also face the epitome of misogyny. like, someone in the comments will say it wasn't that bad for me, and you'll be utterly silenced. like, everyone treats birth control like something that's super dirty. like, you have no fucking information or control over this thing because certain powerful people find it icky.

first it was the oral contraceptives. you went on those young, mostly for reasons unrelated to birth control - even your dermatologist suggested them to control your acne. the list of side effects was longer than your arm, and you just stared at it, horrified.

it made you so mentally ill, but you just heard that this was adulthood. that, yes, there are of course side effects, what did you expect. one day you looked up yasmin makes me depressed because surely this was far too intense, and you discovered that over 12,000 lawsuits had been successfully filed against the brand. it remains commonly prescribed on the open market. you switched brands a few times before oral contraceptives stopped being in any way effective. your doctor just, like, shrugged and said you could try a different brand again.

and the thing is that you're a feminist. you know from your own experience that birth control can be lifesaving, and that even when used for birth control - it is necessary healthcare. you have seen it save so many people from such bad situations, yourself included. it is critical that any person has access to birth control, and you would never suggest that we just get rid of all of it.

you were a little skeeved out by the implant (heard too many bad stories about it) and figured - okay, iud. it was some of the worst pain you've ever fucking experienced, and you did it with a small number of tylenol in your system (3), like you were getting your bikini line waxed instead of something practically sewn into your body.

and what's wild is that because sometimes it isn't a painful insertion process, it is vanishingly rare to find a doctor that will actually numb the area. while your doctor was talking to you about which brand to choose, you were thinking about the other ways you've been injured in your life. you thought about how you had a suspicious mole frozen off - something so small and easy - and how they'd numbed a huge area. you thought about when you broke your wrist and didn't actually notice, because you'd thought it was a sprain.

your understanding of pain is that how the human body responds to injury doesn't always relate to the actual pain tolerance of the person - it's more about how lucky that person is physically. maybe they broke it in a perfect way. maybe they happened to get hurt in a place without a lot of nerve endings. some people can handle a broken femur but crumble under a sore tooth. there's no true way to predict how "much" something actually hurts.

in no other situation would it be appropriate for doctors to ignore pain. just because someone can break their wrist and not feel it doesn't mean no one should receive pain meds for a broken wrist. it just means that particular person was lucky about it. it should not define treatment.

in the comments of videos about IUDs, literally thousands of people report agony. blinding, nauseating, soul-crushing agony. they say things like i had 2 kids and this was the worst thing i ever experienced or i literally have a tattoo on my ribs and it felt like a tickle. this thing almost killed me or would rather run into traffic than ever feel that again.

so it's either true that every single person who reports severe pain is exaggerating. or it's true that it's far more likely you will experience pain, rather than "just a pinch." and yet - there's nothing fucking been done about it. it kind of feels like a shrug is layered on top of everything - since technically it's elective, isn't it kind of your fault for agreeing to select it? stop being fearmongering. stop being defensive.

you fucking needed yours. you are almost weirdly protective of it. yours was so important for your physical and mental health. it helped you off hormonal birth control and even started helping some of your symptoms. it still fucking hurt for no fucking reason.

once while recovering from surgery, they offered you like 15 days of vicodin. you only took 2 of them. you've been offered oxy for tonsillitis. you turned down opioids while recovering from your wisdom tooth extraction. everything else has the option. you fucking drove yourself home after it, shocked and quietly weeping, feeling like something very bad had just happened. the nurse that held your hand during the experience looked down at you, tears in her eyes, and said - i know. this is cruelty in action.

and it's fucked up because the conversation is never just "hey, so the way we are doing this is fucking barbaric and doctors should be required to offer serious pain meds" - it's usually something around the lines of "well, it didn't kill you, did it?"

you just found out that removing that little bitch will hurt just as bad. a little pinch like how oral contraceptives have "some" serious symptoms. like your life and pain are expendable or not really important. like maybe we are all hysterical about it?

hysteria comes from the latin word for uterus, which is great!

you stand here at a crossroads. like - this thing is so important. did they really have to make it so fucking dangerous. and why is it that if you make a complaint, you're told - i didn't even want you to have this in the first place. we're told be careful what you wish for. we're told that it's our fault for wanting something so illict; we could simply choose not to need medication. that maybe if we don't like the scraps, we should get ready to starve.

we have been saying for so long - "i'm not asking you to remove the option, i'm asking you to reconsider the risk." this entire time we hear: well, this is what you wanted, isn't it?

[coldwind-shiningstars]

I always forget I have to tell people or if I have already told people BUT for the record. I had my tethered cord surgery about five months ago FINALLY and the changes are... honestly astonishing. I've been walking around little shops again! I'm having much less "oh I just can't move at all"! My GI and bladder issues are so much better! I don't seem to have baseline respiratory muscle weakness anymore? I've generally got much more energy! It's striking that if I Do overdo it a lot of the muscle weakness symptoms come back, I'm pretty sure the improvement is because I've got more "reserves" in my day to day life and I'm not exhausting myself sitting up anymore.

It's been really wonderful :D

[stardust-maple]

I am deeply considering starting to make my own clothes. I cant seem to find clothes I want to wear in stores. Problem is, I've got multiple chronic illnesses and very few hours in my day. Does anyone know of any accessibility tips for getting into textiles?

[pigeonstab]

I think reading people's explanations and representation of Killer's conditioning recently has given me a better understanding of c!Tommy's conditioning in the DreamSmp. (I won't speak too much on Killer's story simply because I don't know it enough and I don't feel confident to speak on it, if someone does and wants to add to thsi though I'd be happy to hear that take)

I think my problem at the time of the DreamSMP was that I didn't really understand how that conditioning worked. I found it weird that Tommy would be changed to the extent that he was with what "little" Dream did to him, but in hindsight I do think it was a given.

Tommy's whole exile arc starts with a complete uprooting. Dream gives Tubbo, the new president of L'manburg an unfair ultimatum. His best friend Tommy has to be exiled from L'manburg or he'll cage the nation in.

And Tubbo has been run ragged by his recent presidency. He has so much responsibility weighing on him when he's only sixteen or so, all the adults around him are expecting him to lead and to care of the nation while no one is helping. And this is right after not only his own first canon deathbut the destruction of L'manburg! Both extremely traumatic events that he's had no time to recover from. And there's so much pressure weighing on this decision. Tommy's life means little to those in L'manburg at the moment. With his aggravating personality— (born I think from a need to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be loved) —has already caused problems for Tubbo with the adults that are relying on him. People expect him to keep Tommy in check and Tommy is not helping. Their relationship is getting more distant and strained. So when it comes the time to choose, Tubbo feels he has no other option than to play into Dream's game. He has to exile Tommy.

This first element is decisive for what the rest of Exile is going to be like. Because it puts doubt into Tommy's head. Because Tommy lives in absolutes and to him his best friend was forever. (This thought of his is exactly in the same vein as his need to preserve the past). Because if Tubbo can exile him then what else is he wrong about?

And this is exactly what Dream needed, the chips fell exactly where he needed them too and I'm so insane about that. Everything was in place so that Dream could make Tommy doubt Dream's identity as "the bad guy" as the antagonist who was the first to try and rip the L'manburg dream apart.

—

Dream uses multiple tactics to dismantle Tommy and the way he goes about it is so interesting too and the first thing he does is so specific:

He makes a hole. He tells Tommy to put his stuff in it. He blows it up.

This is playing into one of Tommy's biggest weaknesses, this is ripping his belongings away from him, this is making him lose his progress. It's touching that part of Tommy that feels just like having L'manburg taken away, or his brother etc. And Dream sets up this expectation day after day, he comes, he makes a hole, he blows up Tommy's stuff. And Tommy's always been a spitfire, at the start he keeps fighting it, fighting for what's his and for respect and that's always met with violence. That's met with punishment.

In this way Dream sets up the expectation that taking away Tommy's things is normal. That letting him keep things is generous and he shifts the scale of what's acceptable to do.

The other big part of this is guilt tripping, and Tommy makes this extremely easy because so many people already hate him. He's got a big personality he's alive and he likes to prank people and insult them and he's annoying. He creates problems for the people he loves. And Dream takes that and he uses it. To make Tommy believe that he's an awful person, that he deserves nothing, and so Dream taking away his things is simply retribution, it's Dream making him into a better person, this is improvement. "This will show Tubbo that you've changed, that you're a better person" and since there's that doubt. He believes this.

On top of this Tommy's starting to lose himself. Firstly because all of what he knows has been turned on its head but also because he doesn't eat enough. His food keeps getting blown up. He's got almost nothing but seawater. He's seeing the ghost of his brother on a nearly daily basis, a pale copy of the great man, the visionary Wilbur used to be, acting upbeat and silly, unable to feel sadness as he keeps extracting it from himself, this unable to empathize with Tommy. (Ghostbur is really tragic. But even with how bad it was for Tommy's mental health to have him around he was probably the most helpful thing Tommy had. Ghostbur made him logstedshire, with a little cabin. Not just the shoddy tent he'd been sleeping in. He gave him the compass that pointed to Tubbo. The one thing he felt was his own once again, and a permanent reminder of his best friend. Maybe the care of a big brother transcends death and madness. Or maybe it was just a lonely ghost whims.)

And at some point Dream becomes the only constant in his life. That's what makes his visits become something Tommy looks forward to. And Tommy starts to believe the things that Dream repeats to him that "Dream can't be the bad guy because he's trying to make him a better person. One that's loveable. That's not annoying". And if Dream says to Tommy that they're friends then... Isn't it true? And boom now Dream is using Tommy's isolation and need for human contact to control him. He lets Tommy keep some things to gain his favor, and he even twists his punishments as something that are in Tommy's best interest.

Dream makes sure that Tommy understands that he has control over Tommy's life. When Tommy is in the nether ready to jump into lava Dream catches him. 'it's not your time yet' because he gets to decide that. He decides whether Tommy lives or dies.

And for all of this Dream's been playing keep away with the people around Tommy. Because the only Reason Tubbo didn't visit Tommy wasn't because he hates him like Dream said, it's because Dream has never allowed visitors. And when Tommy sets up his beach party. Inviting all the ones he loves Dream is delighted to intercept the letters from ghostbur. and god, after all Tommy's been through. He set up tables and chairs and parasols, he made cake. And I cried when no one showed up. But Dream showed. And Dream sweet talked Tommy into obedience again.

But that's where Dream made a mistake though. He had a careful balance of praise and punishment and tactic after tactic until then. And it was a stupid, easy mistake. He just pushed too far. Tommy taking the time to build the long tower to jump off of, taking a literal look down at the bigger picture and at the ground at the bottom is what allowed him a moment of clarity. A moment to decide that he wanted to live but not like this. And it's what led him to aim into the water and then run away from his place of exile.

There are so many aspects of Dream's manipulation that make this work. It's a gradual increase, so gradual that Tommy can't see what's wrong until he's almost ready to give up on living.

[cinderpaw11]

Beautiful women named excessive heat warning keep messaging me

[ggitty]

Sometimes I think that they literally fell for the intergalactic equivalent of scam mailing lol

I mean, there was a lot of text on this rock lol

[kirby-the-gorb]