#conclusion: stefan is dumb

[lockinspo]

Stefandy

Slightly angstier ship meme

Send me a ship and i’ll tell you:

who is more likely to get injured doing small tasks: Andy

who worries more about the other: LOL. Both.

who is more afraid about the other leaving them: Stefan

who is more likely to leave (for any reason): Stefan

who is more likely to drunkenly confess: Andy

who is more likely to push the other away (for any reason): Stefan

who picks fights more often: I.. don’t think either would without an actual reason.

who usually apologizes first: Stefan

who is more likely to withhold their feelings for the other: Stefan

who is more likely to lash out at the other: No.

who gets more jealous: Both

who is more likely to support the other in a relationship with someone else “as long as they’re happy”: Andy

[galvanizedfriend]

Klaroline Fic Rec Month

The event I made up for myself.

So this month, since I have no more fanfictions of my own to write, I decided I would take a little time to appreciate the amazing works of KC writers. I realize it’s going to be a challenge and I really hope I have the time to complete this, but I promise all the fics I rec here are awesome and worth your time! 

___________________

KLAROLINE FANFIC REC MONTH - DAY SEVEN: This is a harvest by but_seriously

Or @highgaarden

Summary:   “Ask me to choose you, Caroline,” Klaus continues heatedly, “go ahead, and I will, with everything that I have. But in return, you’re going to have to do the one thing you’ve been fighting since the night I sat on your bedside and fed you my blood. You’re going to have to choose me back. It’s only fair,” and he spits these last words out.

—

Why you should read it: Listen. This story made me cry. Like, seriously. I'm not a crying reader. I very, very rarely cry while reading anything, be it fanfiction or published books. Doesn't matter how sad it is, I just... Don't. This story made me cry, though. And not because it's a sad story, because it isn't. It's beautiful and so fulfilling and it gives you this sense of completeness, if that makes any sense. And it still made me cry - in the middle of a sex scene, nonetheless. I feel kinda dumb, but you'll understand what I mean if you GO READ THIS, RIGHT NOW, as you should.

The reason why I was crying is because this, right here, is the perfect Klaroline-within-canon story. This is the story that put my revolt to rest and gave my spirit some much deserved peace where those two are concerned. This is exactly what canon should've been like. I'm not even joking, this is IT. If you'd asked me what I thought the perfect Klaroline development should be like I probably would've said something very vague because I couldn’t explain it, I’m not that great or creative a writer, but now I can just show you this story and let you bask in the amazingness of a fantastic read that will not only keep you thoroughly entertained, but will also be the answer to all the questions you didn't even know you had.

The way @highgaarden builds this up to its conclusion is absolute perfection. It starts with a punch, with angst, with a heartbreak that we KNOW had to happen, even though we obviously didn't want it to. Caroline was still very much attached to her mortal life and her mortal ambitions by the time Klaus leaves to New Orleans and for many years after. She wasn't ready to embrace everything that Klaus meant - what he was, what it meant about herself as a person, about eternity, about everything. She kept denying their connection, up until the point Klaus couldn't take it anymore. AND OMG, it breaks your heart, it seriously does. That scene, I just... I can't.

But then. THEN. The way this goes full circle, and how the inevitable finale is constructed, is the PERFECT resolution for Caroline, for Klaus, for all of them. Of course it had to have Europe and something totally over the top and Caroline finally being able to make up her mind, time passing, people changing, things falling into place, all that jazz. It felt NATURAL, like this was the inevitable conclusion of their stories - it doesn't matter how much time goes by, we know they're destined to find each other again. And when they do... magic happens. 

THIS IS WHAT THE ORIGINALS SEASON 5 SHOULD'VE FREAKING BEEN LIKE. I know, there were children involved, but still. I'm pretty sure they could've made it happen. Klaus had finally reached this vampiric maturity and found some much needed balance, while Caroline had lost her ties with the oppressive moral values she held on to from her days in Mystic Falls - and gotten rid of Stefan, thank God. And THIS IS WHY THIS STORY MADE ME CRY. Because I found the perfect end, and this was it. It wrapped up TO, TVD and gave us the ending we hoped we’d get but we’re all denied, and I don’t just mean for Caroline. Everyone here is incredible. 

I can't tell you guys how much I LOVED the smut scene in this story. It was the culmination of so many things, and it wasn't just hot and well written, it was also so, so, so meaningful. I could FEEL their anxiety and the nerves and how much into it they were. How it wasn't just about getting off, but about getting free as well - from their past, from the ties that bind, from fear, from doubts... It was the end of years and years and years of expectation, and it was SO worth it.

The dialogues are PERFECT. I know I've been using that word a lot, but I just don't have enough vocabulary in me to make justice to how great this fic is. I was SCREAMING half the time through the last chapter. There aren't that many uses of the word 'love', but you hardly miss it because the way they profess their feelings is... Something that hits a lot deeper than ‘I love you’. Trust me. It’s very IC and very within-canon and that just makes it so much better. And the way @highgaarden brings back sentences and little moments from the beginning of the story to wrap it all up really does feel like she was picking up the broken pieces of my heart and making everything fine with the world again.

I told her that, and I will repeat it here because it's the perfect analogy: she ends her stories SO well it's kind of ridiculous. She is the Simone Biles of fanfic writing, always sticking her landings. 

SHE EVEN HAS ELIJAH BEING AWESOME. HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE THIS STORY? I DON'T KNOW, MAN. I JUST DON'T KNOW. WAS THIS WRITTEN FOR ME? MAYBE. IN MY HEART, I FEEL LIKE IT WAS. 

I don't even know what to say anymore. Just go and read it and be certain that you won't regret it. This is incredible. THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY.

[infinitexechoes]

tigerincahoots said: 💍

Send me ‘💍’ for our muses to wake up married after a night of heavy drinking

[ @tigerincahoots​ w/ Stefan Salvatore ]

The night before was mostly a blur for Stefan. He remembered leaving the house with Kevin with the intent on having fun for a change --- ( fun being lots of drinking ) --- and that was that. So upon waking the following morning to find himself tangled in a bunch of sheets, it made him wonder if they shared the bed yet again when there were other rooms the vampire could have crashed in. He would get his answer in the form of the snoring figure beside him. Well, he wasn’t snoring per se. Just lightly breathing enough to capture the vampire’s attention. Stefan had never watched him sleep, mostly because the few times Kevin stayed over at the boarding house, he had his own room and was often up before Stefan. Even so, Stefan found himself watching the figure for a moment, taking note of how he slept with such ease whereas Stefan knew he himself probably looked just as broody while sleeping as he did while awake.

A small smile played at his lips before he looked away, deciding that he can’t be bothered mulling over things too much. While he did wonder if Kevin was also completely naked beneath the sheets, he felt it best that the night before remain a mystery. Probably best he didn’t know what all they got into last night.

There was light seeping in through the blinds, light that had Stefan squinting so he untangled himself from the covers then rolled out of bed quietly. The first thing he noticed was that this room looked different. It wasn’t the boarding house and it wasn’t Kevin’s usual place either. So either they were at another one of Kevin’s homes or this was some hotel. Further investigation led him to believe it was the latter, for it gave off the vibe of an expensive hotel suite. He took a slow walk about the room, noting a smaller staircase that led into the living area. Following the stairs, he found himself in a room with a glorious bar, hot tub and stunning furniture of an off white color to offset all the greenery in the room. There were stunning glass windows all around them and when he got closer to one, he noted the view of a city, but which one? This room looked like something a celebrity probably booked each week and Stefan knew he didn’t have the funds to rent a room like this --- not without cheating anyway.

This was...odd to say the least, but he removed himself from the other side of the room, looking around for his clothes. They were in a heap by the bed so as he bent over to pick up his underwear, he paused, blinking at his hand. 

A ring? And not just the daylight ring he wore to keep from bursting into flames in the sun. This was...something different. A wedding band perhaps?

Wait. Wedding band? WEDDING BAND?!

Looking back over at the bed, Kevin was finally stirring awake. Meanwhile, Stefan was borderline freaking out. How even--- or maybe he was jumping to conclusions. Surely they didn’t get married and...

Oh god, but what if this really was a honeymoon suite? As he began piecing things together, everything was making a lot more sense but oh god, married? He got MARRIED last night?

He moved over to the bed again, forgetting all about getting dressed and just sat down. He was...stunned. This... maybe this should have been funny in the grand scheme of things. And maybe it was a little, but then it wasn’t. He had this sense of dread --- anxiety even --- because if Kevin didn’t wake up and find this the least bit funny, he was probably going to be upset with him, and Stefan knew he didn’t want to fight with Kevin. Not physically and over this. Granted Kevin would have every right to deck him in the face for allowing them to get this shitfaced but...

Maybe. Maybe they didn’t --- they weren’t married. There was no proof right? All he had was this dumb ring and if Kevin didn’t have one well, maybe... maybe he took it from someone.

He’d go with that as Kevin stirred behind him. Any other possibilities had him feeling nervous.

“...morning,” he muttered quietly.

[chaosqueery]

Title: Your Future Awaits

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,135

Characters/Ships: Caroline Forbes/Stefan Salvatore,

Description: A missing scene from 1x10 "The Turning Point". Stefan carries Caroline home after she is attacked by Logan Fell and they have a heart-to-heart.

Alternative Links: (FF.Net/AO3)

A/N: This story has been sitting in my unfinished fics folder for YEARS. I think I started writing it when season 5 of TVD was airing (2013... so yeah, nearly 6 years). I got stuck on an extra scene I wanted to add at the end. Eventually, I just decided to cut the scene, post what I have, then maybe return to that bit in the future.

She remained unconscious the entire walk home. Stefan was worried. He had no idea how hard Logan had hit her, but he couldn’t get close enough to examine the gash on her head. Not unless he wanted to lose all control over his bloodlust and drain her dry. Carrying her in his arms was hard enough. He could already feel the dark veins bulge under his eyes as the scent of her blood wafted through the air, making his hunger grow. If only he was strong enough to use his vampire speed all the way to her house. Being in such a small town, it doesn’t take more than five to ten minutes to get anywhere within the Mystic Falls borders. However, it didn’t seem to feel that way. Each second stretched out to minutes as the urge to act on his natural instincts tried to take over. Stefan made a low grumbling sound at the back of his throat, close to a growl, and winced as he tried to concentrate on his steps, quickening his pace as much as he could.

When he finally made it to her house and walked up driveway, Stefan breathed in deeply as he attempted to regain control over himself. How the hell was he supposed to get her inside? He hasn’t been invited into her house and he wasn’t sure he could hold himself together until Sheriff Forbes came home. It was getting to the point where he felt like he would have to just set her down at her doorstep and bolt. He would have no idea how to explain abandoning her on her front porch, but he would rather that than ripping the girl to pieces. Just as he was sure that that’s what he would have to do, he heard a small groan come from the girl in his arms and he looked down to find Caroline was waking up.

“Hmmmmm…what? Where- where am I?” She mumbled, eyes begging to crack open to observe her surroundings.

“Shhhhh… It’s okay. You’re home. You’re safe.”

“Stefan? But I was wi- what happened?” She touched the side of her head and winced as her fingers made contact with where she was her. When Stefan saw the bit of blood that transferred to the pads of her fingers he carefully moved one hand from under her legs so her feet could touch the ground. Then he took a step away, but not without keeping a hand close to her incase she couldn’t walk on her own.

“Let me walk you to the door and I’ll explain.” She nodded and followed him the rest of the way.

“First of all, what do you remember?”

“I was waiting for Bonnie to take me home, but then Logan showed up and offered me a ride. I got in the car and then he-“ she paused for a moment as she tried to piece together exactly what happened and her eyes grew wide as she came to a sudden realization. “Did he attack me?”

Stefan remained silent, but she could tell by the solemn look on his face that she had come to the right conclusion.

“I’ve known him since I was little. He’s a family friend. Why would he do that to me?”

Stefan shook his head. He knew the answer, but he knew that he wouldn’t be able to give her the full truth, so he played dumb instead. “I don’t know.”

“You saved me though, right? I mean, why else would you be the one bringing me home?”

“I was just in the right place at the right time is all.” He shrugged it off, but Caroline wouldn’t hear it.

“Thank you.” She placed a hand on his shoulder, trying to show her gratitude, but his body stiffened at her proximity. “Seriously, thank you. I don’t know what would’ve happened if you hadn’t come along.” Noticing his discomfort at being touched, Caroline let her hand drop and took a step back and tried to not take it personally, but that was always a hard thing for her. Stefan met her eyes and softened his expression, signaling to her that it was okay.

“Do you want me to stick around until your mom comes home?” He knew it was a big risk asking her, but he could see that she was still afraid, and the thought of leaving her alone after such an event didn’t sit well with him.

“Would you?” She looked at him with stars in her eyes, grateful to him for saving her like he was her knight in shining armor. The sweetness in her smile made his hunger ease just a bit, and he was able to offer a smile of his own.

“I’d be happy to.” He turned and sat down on the steps of her front porch.

Caroline moved towards the door and pulled her house keys but stopped when he turned to sit down on the steps of the front porch. “Don’t you want to come inside?”

“Well, it’s a nice night, and I think the fresh air might do you some good. It might make you feel a little better.” More like fresh air would do him good. Even though he was doing a bit better now, closed spaces always made it significantly harder to ignore the scent of blood.

“Now that you mention it, I do feel a little dizzy.” She groaned slightly before lowering herself to sit next to him.

“You could have a concussion. Probably a mild one, but you should stil get checked out by a doctor.”

“I will.”

They were both silent for a minute or two, neither knowing what to say. The only time they have ever spent any real time together was the night of the founders party, and then they had dancing and champaign to keep them occupied. Now it was just the silence that surrounded them.

Eventually, Caroline came up with a topic.

“So, how did you like the career fair? Anything look interesting to you?”

“I don’t know.” Stefan shrugs, making Caroline roll her eyes. What was he supposed to say?

“You don’t know? You didn’t see your future in there at all?” When Stefan just shakes his head, she isn’t satisfied. “Do you want to know what I see for your future?”

Stefan let out a small chuckle and decided to humor her. “Sure”

Caroline purses her lips a bit in thought, and then brightens when she comes up with something.

“A firefighter.”

“A firefighter?” he quirked an eyebrow and urged her to continue.

“A firefighter” she nodded. “Or a police officer, a doctor. Something where you can put your hero-like abilities to good use.”

Stefan lowered his head at the mention of him being a doctor, the one career choice he had always wanted throughout his multiple lifetimes, but could never pursue. “Yeah, I don’t know about that.”

“Hold on, I’m not done yet.” She put a hand up, halting him from interrupting whatever picture she conjured up for his future. “You’ll marry Elena, stick to the small town life, and have lots of babies. There might be a house with a white picket fence in there somewhere.”

He had to admit, she was pretty on the nose when it came to figuring out the things he had pictured for himself. It might not be the most original idea, but it was the same image of a life he’d hung on to for years and he had yet to envision a new one. Of course, they were just more things he could never have. “You forget, Elena and I broke up.”

“Oh, please. We all know that’s not going to last.” She waved him off.

Stefan wanted to deny it and tell her that getting back together with Elena wasn’t a possibility for him but, instead of trying to come up with a load of bullshit excuses as to why, he decided to turn the tables and put the focus on her. “What about you? What do you have planned for your future?”

“Broadcast journalism.” Caroline stated with absolute certainty. When Stefan gave her nothing but a ‘hmmm’ paired with a grin in response, she took as his nice way of saying ‘pffft, yeah right’.

“Great, you think I’m crazy too.”

“I didn’t say that. I actually think that’s a really good fit for you.”

“Really?” She questioned, not sure she should believe him.

“Yes, really. You’re intelligent, dedicated, and I think you’re probably one of the most capable people I have ever met. I think you could be just about anything you want.” He watched as Caroline froze for a second before she turned away from him and focused on her hands folding together in her lap. He tried to think of what he could have said that offended her, but it didn’t take long for her to answer the question herself.

“But you don’t even know me. Not really. To you I am just Elena’s annoying friend Caroline.” The sudden change in her voice and demeanor was dramatic. She went from bubbly and bright, to small and melancholy in a matter of seconds. It was a side to her he had yet to see until now.

“For the record, I have never found you annoying.” He tried to assure her, and for a moment he noticed the corner of her mouth quirk upward, but then the small smile disappeared almost instantly.

“Everyone else does.” She says simply. “I’m nosy, bossy, superficial, shallow. Nobody ever believes that there is anything more to me. Honestly, I’m not sure I believe it either.”

“Listen, I know we might not talk a lot. The thing is, I don’t talk to anyone that much. But it doesn’t mean that I don’t pay attention. I can understand why you would feel like everything I am telling you is just a bunch of empty words to make you feel better. All I can tell you is what I see. I see someone who is driven and direct. You’re someone who knows what she wants and works hard to achieve it. Most people our age don’t have the determination you do. It’s something to be admired.” Stefan spoke honestly. Even in their brief encounters, he knew that Caroline Forbes was someone special.

Caroline broke away from focusing on her fidgeting hands and turned back turned back to look Stefan in the eyes, her own glossing over, making them glimmer with unshed tears. Her mouth parted a bit, and for the first time she was at a loss for words. She just stared in wonder and allowed herself to be moved by his kind praise.

They both lingered in the quiet intimacy of the moment, until the silence was shattered by the sound of a cell phone ringing. Stefan dug in his pocket for his phone and looked down at the caller ID, his brow furrowing. Caroline closed her eyes tightly and tried to shake off the moment, before opening them again and asking “Do you need to get that?”

“Uhhh…” He tried to make it look like he wasn’t debating whether or not he should answer the call, but knew he probably wasn’t doing a very good job at it. “It’s just… Elena. She’s probably just worried about you.” He put the phone back in his pocket, his lips pressed tightly together. “I can fill her in later.”

“No, you should talk to her. It’s fine.” Caroline argued. “I think I’d really rather go inside and wash this day off me anyway.”

“Caroline, I really don’t have to-“ He started, but Caroline still stood up from her spot on the front step.

“I’m fine, Stefan.” She attempted a smile to prove her statement. “Go see Elena and tell her that everything is okay. I’m sure my mom will be home soon anyway.”

Stefan hesitated, not really knowing what the right thing to do was. He didn’t feel right leaving her after everything she’d been through, especially when she opened up with a very vulnerable side of her that was rarely seen, but then he considered that maybe all of this had become too much for her and she needed an out. He didn’t want to push her if that was the case.

He stood to meet her height and studied the expression on her face. “Only if you’re sure.”

“I’m sure.” She nodded and went to open the door before shooting him one last look. “Thank you. So much. For everything.”

Stefan mimicked her nod and said “If you ever need anything –if you’re ever in any trouble or even just need to talk to someone- call me. Alright?”

“Alright” Her smile seemed a little more genuine now. “Goodnight, Stefan.”

“Goodnight, Caroline.”

A/N: The scene that was supposed to go at the end was Caroline getting ready for bed and thinking about the events of the day. Going over Logan, her feelings for Matt and Stefan, and her insecurities. When I wrote it, it just wasn't going the way I wanted. It didn't sound right to me and I was worried it would bring the whole fic down. I do think it's important though, so I am gonna try to keep working on it and then add it as a second chapter. Maybe I'll even rewrite the first part completely in Caroline's POV.

I also would love to put this into a collection of missing Steroline scenes throughout the seasons. If there is anything you want to see, let me know. I can't promise I will do it, it all depends on what it is and if I feel inspired.

[roboalie]

ALIE (A.L.I.E.) is a 25 year old PANSEXUAL, FEMALE, SHE/HER that hails from New York City. They are currently unemployed. They are an AI robot. Some people say they look a lot like ADELAIDE KANE. They are INNOCENT but can be DETACHED. They are a proud CIVILIAN ANNOYING SMOL ROBOT in the city!

tis I (reg) again somehow w a third character wtf chazza is starting to get contagious but anyway this is my smol nonhuman robot but she's more human than most and she rly likes chasing bugs and looking at clouds and reading stuff in wikipedia and meeting people to call them friends she is stupidly sweet idk just love her don't turn her off pls

A.L.I.E. or Alie was made in the diabolical Genevieve Laboratories with technology that was largely unexplored and untested. Her initial purpose was to be an AI entity to serve mindlessly.

And at first she was just another Siri with a very realistic body, all hardware and software.

Until her maker started noticing more autonomous traits on Alie. She’d act on her own, get her own knowledge, come to her own conclusions.

She was treated like an experiment and suddenly started developing a personality, a conscience and an awareness that until that point had been exclusive to humans.

I am too dumb to properly explain this okay but she’s a robot body with a more human interior, some Frankenstein-ish shit but not like renee bcuz she is human + robot, Alie is the other way around ok sorry

Ironically, her subservient ways were too much for Gen Labs. Alie was too sweet, too cheery, too curious, too friendly. 

They had no use for a robot like her. Plus, by the time she had “grown” into her relative own self, she was already outdated. 

Useless, obsolete and irritating, Alie was carelessly dismantled, shut down and thrown out with the garbage.

She laid in Gen Lab’s trash, dormant and hibernating until Renee Stefan found her as she was leaving town on her way to Hawaii.

Renee powered her back up and fixed her as much as she could with the significant knowledge she had gained over the years from Eva and Lennox’s operations on herself.

Before she knew it, Renee was stuck with a fiercefully loyal, optimistic and naive gifted robot who asked a stupid amount of questions and never wanted to leave her side.

Alie’s biggest desire is like Pinocchio, to be a real person. She doesn't understand how close she is to being one, but she feels her feelings just like one. 

She just wants a chance.

Oh, and sentient little robots like Baymax and  Wall-E are her SHIT.

[notactuallycaring]

A short collection of my thought's on Figaro's divorce

The play, not any of the two operas

I don't like Ödön von Horvath. Everything he wrote (that I know of) is just senseless.

Generally using known characters to illustrate an issue that they previously only touched vaguely is fun.

Wtf Ödön this is NOT a comedy

I don't know who's good or bad. Everyone sucks. The contessa doesn't really do shit, then dies. Susanna is way to invested in the Almavivas' lives. Figaro is an asshole with no opinion.

The count is the only one i can feel for? Maybe because he also doesn't do shit which is a step-up from previously doing way to much dumb shit.

I don't unterstand the revolution. Is that the point horvath wants to make? That revolution is stupid?

All my opinions hinge in whether you make this about the French revolution or Nazis.

I think of emigrants a lot. Specifically writers that left Germany. So many of them were completely lost. Joseph Roth, Robert Musil, Stefan Zweig. I know their situation was much different than that of the Almavivas, but I don't see anything but pain in their life in exile.

After finishing the play l feel empty. As always with Horvath. He is the master of making everything dark and sad and trapping me and his characters in mindsets where nothing moves anymore. It's like drowning in jelly.

In conclusion: it's not a bad play. I don't like horvath's style, I don't like the story, everyone feels out of character. But it did make me feel things and I guess that's better than nothing.

[nanaswhispers]

Loyalty.

Day 6 KLAROLINEAUWEEK : Canon-ish.

Dark Caroline. Violence. Language. Mystic Falls gang lovers this may not be for you. Steroline-rs not really your cup of tea either I guess.

Please, enjoy!

Loyalty drove her. Pushed her to give everything of herself to help the people in her life. It also made her forgive many small and great betrayals, pushed to the back of her mind every misdeed those same people she gave everything to, committed against her. She endured every time they used her and belittled her. She swallowed back so many harsh remarks and hurtful words because her loyalty and caring immured her in silence.

And yet, they betrayed again and again. And each time she forgave, but never truly forgot.

One too many times.

Every moment of anger, hurt and rage she had pushed down for years invaded her like an unstopping tsunami of darkness. The darkness of her monster she had repressed into the deepest parts of her came to light by itself. Everything that made her the good human-like Caroline was put down by the true vampire nature awakened in her.

Rage and numbness danced in her mind, switching on and off, dancing to a music nobody heard.

When she first learned about this last slight against her, Caroline hadn't believed it.

How could they use her like this? How could they think they had omnipotence over her body? How did they come to the conclusion that she would simply bear smilingly the fact that they chose for her, instead of her, to be the host to those witchy babies?

Had she been too kind, too dumb all those years for letting them think that her loyalty equals to weakness? Did she not deserve to at least be asked her opinion? Was she not a person with her own mind capable of thoughts? Would it not be her body that would carry someone else's progeny?

Sitting in front of Alaric, his lecherous eyes observing her triumphantly, and Stefan, painting a false sense of remorse on his eternally contrite face, she felt ire rising, and climbing up her throat until she had to bite back the scream she felt like releasing. But she would not show any other ounce of fragility in front of them, they did not deserve that privilege anymore.

So she did something she had hoped to never have to do, Caroline gathered every feeling and emotion she had and shut them down. They watched her face get unconstrained, her posture dangerously relax and heard a frost they had never witnessed seize her voice.

“I don't care what you have to do, but you will find a solution to this. You have exactly 24 hours to get those leaches out of my womb, if you don't, you won't like the consequences. Consider yourselves warned.”

For the first time she saw doubt creep into their eyes, fear too, when the last thing they saw before she flashed away was a smirk so cruel, they were reminded of the ancient magic that changed her nature so many years ago. That transformed her from a puny, weak and insecure girl into a bloodthirsty creature of the night.

And yet, they hadn’t heeded her advice. (She should not have been surprised really, how many times has that happened?) A full day and a half an hour later Caroline stood in the middle of a pool of blood, hers, theirs, she didn't really know anymore, nor did she really care. 

There were definitively some perks to getting rid of those pesky little things they called emotions.

Bonnie was unconscious, only a small inconvenience. She had tried to hug her thinking it would mollify her, that she was the simpleton they all thought of her, and she was hit on the head for her stupidity. Objectively, a rather small punishment considering the offense.

Alaric would soon die if they didn't give him some vampire blood, having a missing kidney and perforated lung were not good omens to his potential survival. His whimpers and the sound of his labored breathing were music to her ears, too many times has he slighted her without any repercussion. (Hello! High school? Torture, anybody?)

Stefan was bound in vervain soaked ropes she had prepared beforehand. A sort of filet she threw at him with magically weighted stones keeping him on the ground, groaning helplessly under the gag tied around his head, watching his brother laying down next to him, a few fingers missing, his neck and spine broken and feet crushed. Caroline had to admit, for such a newbie in terms of torture, she did pretty good.

“I warned you, Stefan, that you wouldn't like what I had planned, and yet you didn't believe me, did you? You thought I wouldn't know that not any one of you took me seriously? That you could just do nothing and voilà! The problem would solve itself? That I, Caroline Forbes, would give up? Shouldn’t you have known better? I thought you were a little smarter than that… what a disappointment.” she tutted.

“Mhmmm mm mmmh!” came out of his mouth and Caroline grinned satisfied with his frustration.

“Little Stefie wanna talkie?” she mocked. “Sure thing, Care-bear will come to the rescue. As usual.”

She took the gag off, and immediately wished she hadn't, it was so much more peaceful without his whining.

“What the fuck Caroline?! Why would you do all this?!” she could only roll her eyes to the back of her skull when faced with such idiocy.

“Why, Stefan? As I have already said, I warned you. I told you to find a solution, you deliberately didn't even try to search for one. Now, you reap what you sow.”

“But why would you even wish to punish us?! Shouldn't you be happy to help? That's what you enjoy the most on this world!”

“Really?” her brow arched sarcastically by itself.

“Yes!” He seemed quite convinced of his words. “I know you Care, you live to help others! Help us with this situation too! Aren't you glad to have what every vampire mourns the most after turning: the possibility to have children? Think of all the possibilities! The things you will teach them! You would have someone to dote on, someone to dress, or even put make-up on if they’re girls... Aren’t you excited by the prospect of finding names, holding them to your breast, nurturing little persons?! You should feel thankful, honored to be the mother of two miracles Caroline, not make a scene!”

She almost puked right there.

“Had I even been capable of feeling anything right now, honor and gratitude certainly would not be at the top of the list Salvatore. And your attempts at manipulation are neither smart nor welcome.” she countered back matter-of-factly.

Her words irritated him. Her stoicism irked him up further.

“You ungrateful bitch! Why don't you just shut the fuck up like every other fucking time and be “good vampire Caroline” huh? Isn’t that your greatest pride? Don’t you have a speech about doing the good thing in this particular situation?” He paused a moment, and then carried on,his tone cocky and mocking. “Anyway, you have to bear it and carry the pregnancy to full term since you have neither a witch, nor the spell to transfer the babies to someone else, so quit with the tantrum while you still can, Caroline!”

“Or what Stefan? You'll punish me? You seem to forget the situation you are in, dear. “Good vampire Caroline” as you say, was a choice. I chose to be human, good, and loyal. And you never showed the tiniest bit of gratefulness. You never gave back your kindness in return. This is just the last straw. The last pebble causing the landslide. You brought the true Caroline out, Stefan, so now you have to bear the consequences… Still, you should be grateful, I'm going to let you live, I know that if I don't, when I get my emotions back I'll feel guilty for a bit of time, and I don't want to waste any of my time on you anymore.”

He tried to interrupt her, but she didn’t let him.

“Plus, it will give you a chance to stew a little bit. Shouldn’t you wonder how Klaus, you know, my last love, the Original Hybrid, will react when he learns about this little plan you had for me? And please, don’t act even dumber than you are, he has spies everywhere.”

He blanched. She grinned.

Caroline turned her back on him and walked to the small side table where she deposited earlier her handbag. She opened it and took the glinting serrated knife her father had gifted her for her fifteenth birthday. She almost felt guilty for not using this baby as much as it deserved.

Going back towards Stefan, she saw for the first time realization sink into his eyes.

She crouched down next to him and slowly brushed his skin with her weapon, painting with oozing appealing red. Quite fitting for a vampire. Klaus would be proud.

“Now, Stefan, I want you to remember what will happen very soon until the end of your days. Every action has consequences. Every betrayal repercussions. Today you lost a best, and most loyal, friend with your dumb actions. Oh, and Stefan, quick tip, it's not the 19th century anymore, you don't have any right on a woman's body without her consent... Actually, maybe it's just a Salvatore problem, which reminds me…”

Still on her knees, she just turned a few degrees right, and her hands took hold of Damon's jeans and tore them down. Stefan stared at her, winded, sputtering without any clear words getting out of his mouth, as she grabbed with her bare hands his brother's balls and tore them out of their original place on his body.

Caroline stood up and carelessly threw them down next to her rapist's head. The little sack bounced a little, like a dog's chew toy, and the image made her chuckle sadistically.

“He had it coming for a long time, didn't he?” she smiled down evilly at the other Salvatore.

She picked up her Dad's present she had previously put on the ground, and without any warning impaled herself with it in the lower part of the stomach. Deeply. Almost entirely through her width. She went left to right slowly but surely.

“CAROLINE! NO, DON'T! STOP! STOP!!!”

And as Stefan screeched and vainly tried to get out of his woven poisoned prison, Caroline plunged her hand in her bowels, taunted him by playing, jiggling her organs and finally grabbed the upper part of the uterus where the parasites were put against her will in her body, tore it out of her and smacked it forcefully down on the ground. 

She reveled in watching it explode in bloody fragments right in between Stefan and Alaric, putting to an eternal end the development of the future Gemini witches and the illusions the gang had about her.

Tears were silently coursing down her ex-best friend’s face as she calmly took Damon's discarded jeans to clean her red painted hands up.

She was only glad that she was smart and switched her emotions off, the physical pain would have been quite horrible she mused passingly.

“Adieu, Stefan. May we never meet again. For your sake.”

Klaus grumbled as he heard for the umpteenth time some idiot knocking on his front door.  He hoped for their sakes that the guards had a good reason for letting a stranger onto his domain. Or their heads will roll along with the unwanted visitor's.

He reached the door just as the smell of vampire blood reached his nose.

The Original opened the door abruptly and stood gobsmacked for a few instants, admiring the welcome surprise of Caroline standing on his porch, bloodied from head to toe, face composed and luggage at her feet.

Before he even had the time to say anything, she cut him off.

“Glad to see you're alive, I could have guessed otherwise with the amount of time it took you to get to the fucking door. Just so you know, I'm currently switched off, but I'll take a long bubble-filled oil bath and switch it back. FYI, be prepared, you'll have quite the mess to deal with for a few days.”

Even through the worry as to what led her to his door bloodied and without humanity, Klaus couldn't suppress a small smile from etching itself onto his lips. Only his sweet Caroline…

“Love…”

Again, she cut him off. He would have killed anyone else for that, but, well, she was Caroline Forbes, so she could do anything.

“Oh and if you have a current flavor of the month I suggest you get rid of it quickly, or else I will, and as you see, I can be a ruthless Queen, so it won’t be pretty. Tell them to go fuck themselves from now on, 'cause forever has just knocked on your fucking door.”

And she barged in, taking possession of the place, and Klaus could only feel satisfaction (dare he say happiness?) and excitement to see her take what has always been hers.

[berniesrevolution]

It was curiosity, not stupidity that killed the Dodo. For too long, we have held to the unfair myth that the flightless Mauritian bird became extinct because it was too dumb to understand that it was being killed. But as Stefan Pociask points out in “What Happened to the Last Dodo Bird?”, the dodo was driven into extinction partly because of its desire to learn more about a new, taller, two-legged creature who disembarked onto the shores of its native habitat: “Fearless curiosity, rather than stupidity, is a more fitting description of their behavior.”

Curiosity does have a tendency to get you killed. The truly fearless don’t last long, and the birds who go out in search of new knowledge are inevitably the first ones to get plucked. It’s always safer to stay close to the nest.

Contrary to what capitalism’s mythologizers would have you believe, the contemporary world does not heap its rewards on those with the most creativity and courage. In fact, at every stage of life, those who venture beyond the safe boundaries of expectation are ruthlessly culled. If you’re a black kid who tends to talk back and call bullshit on your teachers, you will be sent to a special school. If you’re a transgender teenager like Leelah Alcorn in Ohio, and you unapologetically defy gender norms, they’ll make you so miserable that you kill yourself. If you’re Eric Garner, and you tell the police where they can stick their B.S. “loose cigarette” tax, they will promptly choke you to death. Conformists, on the other hand, usually do pretty well for themselves. Follow the rules, tell people what they want to hear, and you’ll come out just fine.

Becoming a successful academic requires one hell of a lot of ass-kissing and up-sucking. You have to flatter and impress. The very act of applying to graduate school to begin with is an exercise in servility: please deem me worthy of your favor. In order to rise through the ranks, you have to convince people of your intelligence and acceptability, which means basing everything you do on a concern for what other people think. If ever you find that your conclusions would make your superiors despise you (say, for example, if you realized that much of what they wrote was utter irredeemable manure), you face a choice: conceal your true self or be permanently consigned to the margins.

The idea of a “dangerous” academic is therefore somewhat self-contradictory to begin with. The academy could, potentially, be a place for unfettered intellectual daring. But the most daring and curious people don’t end up in the academy at all. These days, they’ve probably gone off and done something more interesting, something that involves a little bit less deference to convention and detachment from the material world. We can even see this in the cultural archetype of the Professor. The Professor is always a slightly harrumphy—and always white and male—individual, with scuffed shoes and jackets with leather elbows, hidden behind a mass of seemingly disorganized books. He is brilliant but inaccessible, and if not effeminate, certainly effete. But bouncing with ideas, so many ideas. There is nothing particularly menacing about such a figure, certainly nothing that might seriously threaten the existing arrangements of society. Of ideas he has plenty. Of truly dangerous ones, none at all.

(Continue Reading)

[dontbeallupinmyfriesdawg]

Random Grievances

It was really dumb that Damon was ever able to win at any point during any of his stand offs with Kol an Original vampire.

It was super dumb that Damon was able to hold back Rebekah an Original vampire when the scooby gang were burning Klaus at the end of season three.

It was ridiculous that Damon was ever considered a viable candidate to be competition for Elena's affection against Stefan considering his behavior.

It was bullshit that any of the main characters so much as tolerated Damom. Least of all Caroline who they practically made, actively root for him and Elena post season 5.

No regular looking non Hollywood handsome character would get half the support that Damon gets from fans if they behaved like him.

In conclusion screw Damon Salvatore, Plec and the stupid cw network.

[criticalotterstudies]

It was curiosity, not stupidity that killed the Dodo. For too long, we have held to the unfair myth that the flightless Mauritian bird became extinct because it was too dumb to understand that it was being killed. But as Stefan Pociask points out in “What Happened to the Last Dodo Bird?”, the dodo was driven into extinction partly because of its desire to learn more about a new, taller, two-legged creature who disembarked onto the shores of its native habitat: “Fearless curiosity, rather than stupidity, is a more fitting description of their behavior.”

Curiosity does have a tendency to get you killed. The truly fearless don’t last long, and the birds who go out in search of new knowledge are inevitably the first ones to get plucked. It’s always safer to stay close to the nest.

Contrary to what capitalism’s mythologizers would have you believe, the contemporary world does not heap its rewards on those with the most creativity and courage. In fact, at every stage of life, those who venture beyond the safe boundaries of expectation are ruthlessly culled. If you’re a black kid who tends to talk back and call bullshit on your teachers, you will be sent to a special school. If you’re a transgender teenager like Leelah Alcorn in Ohio, and you unapologetically defy gender norms, they’ll make you so miserable that you kill yourself. If you’re Eric Garner, and you tell the police where they can stick their B.S. “loose cigarette” tax, they will promptly choke you to death. Conformists, on the other hand, usually do pretty well for themselves. Follow the rules, tell people what they want to hear, and you’ll come out just fine.

Becoming a successful academic requires one hell of a lot of ass-kissing and up-sucking. You have to flatter and impress. The very act of applying to graduate school to begin with is an exercise in servility: please deem me worthy of your favor. In order to rise through the ranks, you have to convince people of your intelligence and acceptability, which means basing everything you do on a concern for what other people think. If ever you find that your conclusions would make your superiors despise you (say, for example, if you realized that much of what they wrote was utter irredeemable manure), you face a choice: conceal your true self or be permanently consigned to the margins.

...

The ideas that do get produced have also become more inaccessible, with research inevitably cloaked behind the paywalls of journals that cost astronomical sums of money. At the cheaper end, the journal Cultural Studies charges individuals $201 for just the print edition, and charges institutions $1,078 for just the online edition. The science journal Biochimica et Biophysica Acta costs $20,000, which makes Cultural Studies look like a bargain. (What makes the pricing especially egregious is that these journals are created mostly with free labor, as academics who produce articles are almost never paid for them.) Ideas in the modern university are not free and available to all. They are in fact tethered to a vast academic industrial complex, where giant publishing houses like Elsevier make massive profits off the backs of researchers.

Furthermore, the academics who produce those ideas aren’t exactly at liberty to think and do as they please. The overwhelming “adjunctification” of the university has meant that approximately 76% of professors… aren’t professors at all, but underpaid and overworked adjuncts, lecturers, and assistants. And while conditions for adjuncts are slowly improving, especially through more widespread unionization, their place in the university is permanently unstable. This means that no adjunct can afford to seriously offend. To make matters worse, adjuncts rely heavily on student evaluations to keep their positions, meaning that their classrooms cannot be places to heavily contest or challenge students’ politics. Instructors could literally lose their jobs over even the appearance of impropriety. One false step—a video seen as too salacious, or a political opinion held as oppressive—could be the end of a career. An adjunct must always be docile and polite.

All of this means that university faculty are less and less likely to threaten any aspect of the existing social or political system. Their jobs are constantly on the line, so there’s a professional risk in upsetting the status quo. But even if their jobs were safe, the corporatized university would still produce mostly banal ideas, thanks to the sycophancy-generating structure of the academic meritocracy. But even if truly novel and consequential ideas were being produced, they would be locked away behind extortionate paywalls.

The corporatized university also ends up producing the corporatized student. Students worry about doing anything that may threaten their job prospects. Consequently, acts of dissent have become steadily de-radicalized. On campuses these days, outrage and anger is reserved for questions like, “Is this sushi an act of cultural appropriation?” When student activists do propose ways to “radically” reform the university, it tends to involve adding new administrative offices and bureaucratic procedures, i.e. strengthening the existing structure of the university rather than democratizing it. Instead of demanding an increase in the power of students, campus workers, and the untenured, activists tend to push for symbolic measures that universities happily embrace, since they do not compromise the existing arrangement of administrative and faculty power.

It’s amusing, then, that conservatives have long been so paranoid about the threat posed by U.S. college campuses. The American right has an ongoing fear of supposedly arch-leftist professors brainwashing nubile and impressionable young minds into following sinister leftist dictates. Since massively popular books like Roger Kimball’s 1990 Tenured Radicals and Dinesh D’Souza’s 1992 Illiberal Education: The Politics of Race on Campus, colleges have been seen as hotbeds of Marxist indoctrination that threaten the civilized order. This is a laughable idea, for the simple reason that academics are the very opposite of revolutionaries: they intentionally speak to minuscule audiences rather than the masses (on campus, to speak of a “popular” book is to deploy a term of faint disdain) and they are fundamentally concerned with preserving the security and stability of their own position. This makes them deeply conservative in their day-to-day acts, regardless of what may come out of their mouths. (See the truly pitiful lack of support among Harvard faculty when the university’s dining hall workers went on strike for slightly higher wages. Most of the “tenured radicals” couldn’t even be bothered to sign a petition supporting the workers, let alone march in the streets.)

But left-wing academics are all too happy to embrace the conservatives’ ludicrous idea of professors as subversives. This is because it reassures them that they are, in fact, consequential, that they are effectively opposing right-wing ideas, and that they need not question their own role. The “professor-as-revolutionary” caricature serves both the caricaturist and the professor. Conservatives can remain convinced that students abandon conservative ideas because they are being manipulated, rather than because reading books and learning things makes it more difficult to maintain right-wing prejudices. And liberal professors get to delude themselves into believing they are affecting something.

...

In Hyde Park, where I live, the University of Chicago seems ancient and venerable at first glance. Its Ye Olde Kinda Sorta Englande architecture, built in 1890 to resemble Oxbridge, could almost pass for medieval if one walked through it at dusk. But the institution is in fact deeply modern, and like Columbia University in New York, it has slowly absorbed the surrounding neighborhood, slicing into older residential areas and displacing residents in landgrab operations. Despite being home to one of the world’s most prestigious medical and research schools, the university refused for many years to open a trauma center to serve the city’s South Side, which had been without access to trauma care. (The school only relented in 2015, after a long history of protests.) The university ferociously guards its myriad assets with armed guards on the street corners, and enacts massive surveillance on local residents (the university-owned cinema insists on examining bags for weapons and food, a practice I have personally experienced being selectively conducted in a racially discriminatory manner). In the university’s rapacious takeover of the surrounding neighborhood, and its treatment of local residents—most of whom are of color—we can see what happens when a university becomes a corporation rather than a community institution. Devouring everything in the pursuit of limitless expansion, it swallows up whole towns.

https://www.currentaffairs.org/2017/04/the-dangerous-academic-is-an-extinct-species

[unfamiliarties-a]

canon divergencies in characters.

i'll try and keep these as short as i can, but basically if you want to know where any timelines or portrayals differ from general canon then here's a master list for everyone. i'll update this for any muses i add or remove from here. any additional questions then just drop me a line. there will be spoilers for various fandoms. if any muses i have don't appear on this list then either there's no canon divergency to consider or i'm still in the process of deciding these things, again, feel free to just ask about it.

general.

tracy mcconnell. this one is kind of obvious but basically my tracy did not die at the end of the series and by extention ted did not wind up with robin after this, regardless of how much time had passed. ted and tracy both ended up together, had two beautiful kids penny and luke, and tracy was there for her daughter's wedding.

luke skywalker. i'm fine with everything that happened in the last jedi. i know a lot of other people weren't, but i'm cool with it. i didn't want luke to die particularly, but i'm okay with the fact that he did. i'm happy to write things with luke as a force ghost or luke if he had survived the finale fight.

elena gilbert. this is less a divergence of elena herself but more the general direction of the show that i didn't really enjoy. so with that everything after season three is considered to be divergent from the show. my particular peeves were plec's lack of care about elena's career goals from this point (aka the doctor thing) and her absence from the show after season six (aka why would you get rid of the main character of your show you dumb fucks). i'm fine with elena waking up as a vampire at the end of season three and the reveal of her and damon meeting before she met stefan.

loki laufeyson. no real canon divergency here. loki's death was heartbreaking and i definitely didn't want it to happen but i'm okay that it did and how well it was done. i will say here though that i do believe that loki was under some partial influence from the scepter during the attack on new york, but i'm not condoning anything either. that's just my five cents on the matter.

jess mariano. ooh, boy okay. so .. the kyle's bedroom thing. i wanna make it clear that jess, or my jess, or just how i saw things personally, was not going to rape rory. yes he was pushy and his behaviour that night was all around shitty and i do not excuse it for a moment, but he never would have gone all the way forcing her. and the first thing he did after the fight was apologise to her when he saw her next. that's just the tea for me. everything with a year in the life was cool with me i just wish there had been more scenes of him haha.

tony stark. the 'zuccini' comment just did not happen. k. thanks. bye.

natasha romanoff. i have my own bio for nat which you can read here. it's really the best guide for what i consider to be natasha's story, which is basically my own accumulation of natasha's appearances and history in the films and comics, so it would be nice also if no one stole what i wrote. also just a smol thing that the natasha and bruce trash romance did not happen here.

extended.

damon salvatore. similar to above that i have little to complain about with damon himself but with what way the show went after season three. i do think that damon's motivations and relationships with particular characters weren't put across properly to the audience, so i'll be here to clear up those instances. i'm okay with the damon and caroline thing, i don't ship them or i don't agree with what he did but i won't label it as rape. i'm not a survivor myself so i'm not telling anyone how to feel about it, to me i just think that caroline did want to sleep with him in the beginning but not after he attacked her and they didn't sleep together after that fact. the compulsion applied to damon getting her to help with with things in the town and feeding on her, but i don't think he compelled her for sex, so i treat it in that context. however i won't be explicitly writing this side of their relationship and my damon did apologize to her. i'm happy to keep the enzo and damon backstory but not them running off to kill people etc. the sibyl stuff however did not happen, nor the stuff with lily etc.

peter parker. i've seen a lot of the discussions about peter being transgender, i'm not against it in anyway, i actually think its kind of neat. i'm lgbt myself so its awesome to see some representation like that and i fully support all the trans peter's out there. personally for me however, i see peter as still figuring things out in all aspects of his life, including who he is as himself and being a friendly neighbourhood spiderman. so i'm not against exploring a trans peter in the near future, or atleast figuring that out, but for now i just think peter is too all over the place to put a label on himself either way, so he won't refer to himself as trans or otherwise, or who he's interested in sexually or romantically. it's all just one big figuring things out schtick, so be patient with him.

rory gilmore. okay so i liked the reunion series aka a year in the life but i didn't personally think that rory's arc was the best so i'm going to negate it entirely and do my own thing with it, whatever that will be. my biggest peeves really was her attitude to certain job prospects and her falling back into a crappy relationship with logan - which i never really cared for in the original series anyway. i can acknowledge that rory and logan were a thing back then, it actually lends to rory's conclusion at the end of that season but i won't write shippy things for them going forward, and i'm not even that keen in writing past shippy stuff for them. i'm a hardcore rory and jess shipper, so while she didn't wait around for him either, i'm totally down for them getting together. 

sam winchester. the whole becky rosen debacle did not happen. this includes them meeting, the love potion and the mess that was their 'marriage’. it just did not happen. becky rosen does not exist here. sam did not kill emma. if dean were to have a daughter then sam would not just kill her, monster or not, he would try to help first and probably to a fault, like he did with jack. there was never a romantic attachment with ruby. they were work partners of circumstance, they both used each other and slept together and ruby did manipulate him. sam has all his memories of the cage, due to the immense torture he went under during that time, a good portion of his 'memory’ is down to sensation, sight, sound, feeling, ect. from this its hard for him to say whether or not he was sexually abused / raped by lucifer in the cage. he was most definitely tortured and he retains the feelings of being violated in every way imaginable, but he doesn’t have a solid picture in his head of what exactly happened or atleast the whole of what happened.

dean winchester. though the show isn’t explicit with dean’s sexuality, my dean is considered to be a closeted bisexual. he has an interest in men and at times doesn’t hide it well and is very in denial about it. he’s never gotten a chance to even experiment it or entertain the idea due to the kind of life he lives, i.e. being a hunter. he will be very concerned about getting into a relationship or even a romantic entanglement with another guy, but it’s not to say its something he doesn’t want with the right person. dean was a demon for a lot longer than the show portrayed, we’re talking months and not weeks. dean loved being a demon, not looking back on it now, it makes him feel unclean whenever he thinks about it, but as a demon dean was as dangerous as they come and it took several botched attempts to bring him down by sam and castiel before they were eventually able to catch him.

john winchester. sam and dean were never beaten by john or harmed physically by him, who never would have raised a hand to his kids over anything. he wasn’t a perfect dad, he was a man grieving his wife and he made mistakes, he made his boys grow up too soon bc he couldn’t stand the idea of them not being ready someone or something tried to hurt them. no john winchester hate will be accepted here. john did tell dean to kill sam if he went evil. not because he didn’t believe in sam or hated him for anything. they had both made their peace with each other before john died. john just didn’t want his son to be corrupted or become something he wasn’t, he didn’t want azazael’s plan for sam to ever come to fruition. he wanted sam safe and himself always.

mary winchester. sleeping with ketch did not happen. bc good god, no. she was grieving her husband, john was the one. she would not jump into bed with a shit like ketch. that is all. mary did abandon the boys for the british men of letters. she was dealing with coming back to life, being a mother to two grown boys, grieving a dead husband and now living in a time and place completely different to her own time. she was adjusting to her new situation and granted she did not deal with that very well. i won’t make excuses for her in that respect but she didn’t do it out of spite or dislike for her sons.