#concerned about the banana addiction though

[awberryy]

Link: If I think nobody remembers me, I know the 46 yiga clan members in my area do.

[writerofsorts]

One Year Later

(image creds: to the owner)

pairing: jason dilaurentis x female reader.

summary: 1x08 “please do talk about me when i’m gone” episode imagine/rewrite.

warnings: mentions of addiction/alcoholism.

—————

The bell rang at the end of the last period, marking the school day as complete, and [Y/N] [Y/L/N] let out a heavy sigh. Half of the class was already out the door and [Y/N] quickly packed her things before exiting the classroom as well. As she got near her locker to grab her coat, her pace slowed as she noticed one of her best friends waiting for her.

"Han?" [Y/N] asked in surprise.

"There you are!" Hanna exclaimed as [Y/N] stopped in front of her.

"Not that I'm not happy to see you, but what are you doing here?" [Y/N] asked in confusion.

"Ouch," Hanna threw her head back dramatically, causing [Y/N] to laugh as she opened her locker.

"Okay, Hanna banana, I thought we were supposed to meet at Spencer's?" asked [Y/N] as she grabbed her coat and shut the locker before leaning against it to face Hanna.

"Yes, we were," Hanna nodded in agreement. "I wanted to wait for you though."

"I just… I figured you might not wanna walk in there… alone," Hanna explained further when [Y/N] seemed confused and the latter's expression fell as she understood what her friend meant.

Jason DiLaurentis was back in Rosewood to help organize his sister, Alison's memorial, and [Y/N] along with her friends were supposed to meet him after school. It was already difficult to accept that Alison was no more and it was harder planning a memorial for her. It all felt unreal.

On top of that, it was extra hard for [Y/N] to come face to face with the man she had feelings for. It started out as a simple crush on her best friend's older brother when Alison initially introduced them. Later on, [Y/N] couldn't help but develop feelings for Jason despite knowing that she probably shouldn't.

"[Y/N/N]?" Hanna's voice pulled [Y/N] out of her thoughts. "You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine," [Y/N] smiled, nodding.

"Look, you don't have to do this," Hanna said, taking [Y/N]'s hand in hers. "I'll just tell the others that you weren't feeling well. Once Ja- he leaves, I'll text you and you can stop by Spencer's if you'd like."

"It's okay, Han, I can do this," [Y/N] replied, smiling softly at her friend's concern for her.

Hanna smiled back, and the two walked out of the school and towards Hanna's car. On the way to Spencer's house, Hanna kept chatting about various topics, hoping to keep her bestie's mind off of the upcoming meeting with Jason. Although [Y/N] responded, it didn't take long before her mind went back to the time Hanna had first confronted her about her feelings for Jason.

[Y/N], Aria, Emily, Hanna, and Spencer found themselves in yet another college party Alison had sneaked them into with fake id’s. 

Alison was nowhere to be seen while the other girls decided to stick together. In order to avoid any unnecessary attention, they sat in a corner and chatted among themselves. 

That was when [Y/N]’s eyes fell on Jason, who stood by the bar with a bottle of beer in his hand. He looked like a mess, but she thought he looked gorgeous, nevertheless. The top few buttons of his navy blue shirt were left open, giving the perfect view of his tanned skin, and his silver chain hung rather crookedly around his neck. His denim jeans hung loosely on his hips, where his shirt was half tucked messily. His dirty blond hair was disheveled - a result of him running his fingers through the long strands throughout the night. His green eyes were glazed and unfocused as he scanned the surrounding now and then.

This was Jason DiLaurentis ever since [Y/N] had known him. He was either drunk or high along with his best friends, Ian and Garrett. On top of that, his parents didn’t seem to care about how Jason was doing, and Ali never left a chance to taunt and demean her brother. He was destroying his life, himself, and [Y/N] truly felt awful for him. 

She felt like he could do so much better with life if he got help. She also couldn’t help but think that there was a different person underneath the rude and uncaring persona Jason displayed almost all of the time. 

[Y/N] looked on worriedly as Ian dragged Jason off towards the back of the cabin and sighed to herself. She sometimes wished she could talk to Jason, but didn’t have the courage, thanks to his intimidating image. 

“Hey, [Y/N/N]?” Hanna called.

“Yeah?” [Y/N] whispered. She was nervous that Hanna and the rest of her friends might’ve caught her staring longingly and worriedly at Jason. 

“I need to use the bathroom, come with me?” Hanna asked. 

“Yeah, sure,” [Y/N] replied, a little relieved. 

“We’ll be back soon,” Hanna told the other three girls as she and [Y/N] stood up from their seats. 

“Should we come with you two?” Spencer asked in concern. “I don’t like the idea of you two going around this place by yourselves.” 

“We’ll be fine, Spence,” [Y/N] smiled in reassurance. 

“Yeah. If we’re not back in ten minutes, send a rescue team,” Hanna stated mysteriously, causing [Y/N], Aria, and Emily to laugh while Spencer shook her head fondly. 

“Let’s go,” Hanna told [Y/N], looping her arm around the latter’s. 

The two girls made their way through groups and groups of strangers before finally reaching the bathroom. 

“I’ll be here,” [Y/N] smiled at Hanna, leaning against the wall outside the bathroom. 

However, her blonde friend pulled her inside the bathroom, making [Y/N] let out a yelp. 

“Han, what are you doing?” [Y/N] asked in surprise when Hanna quickly locked the door. 

“I need to talk to you,” Hanna said.

“Is everything okay?” [Y/N] asked in concern. 

“I see the way you look at him, [Y/N/N]” Hanna said softly, causing her friend’s eyes to widen. 

“W- what- who are you talking about, Han?” [Y/N] asked nervously.

“Jason, of course,” Hanna replied and there was no judgement in her eyes nor her tone. 

[Y/N] opened her mouth and closed it, unable to come up with a reply.

“It’s okay, [Y/N/N],” Hanna said, standing next to her friend and wrapping a comforting hand around her shoulder. 

“Am I that obvious?” [Y/N] asked with a defeated smile. 

“For me, yes,” Hanna answered. “Have the others asked you anything about this?” 

“No,” [Y/N] shook her head. 

“And… how about Ali?” Hanna asked hesitantly. “Do you think she maybe knows?”

“God, no. I don’t think so,” [Y/N] sighed. “She would kill me.” 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Hanna said kindly. “You can’t help who you have feelings for.” 

“It’s just a crush, Hanna banana,” [Y/N] chuckled softly. “I’m sure I’ll get over it, get over him, soon.” 

“[Y/N/N], crush was last year when all you had was heart eyes for him,” teased Hanna, causing her friend to roll her eyes fondly. “Well, you still have heart eyes whenever he’s around. But, now, you look genuinely worried about him.”

“I- I don’t know,” [Y/N] shrugged. “I just… I feel bad for him. His addiction’s gotten worse since we met him, I feel. His family doesn’t seem to care about him and he doesn’t have the greatest set of friends either. I feel like he can do better with the right guidance. That’s all.”

“Do you think you can talk to him into getting help?” Hanna asked. 

“Oh god no,” [Y/N] denied right away. “I don’t have the guts to go in front of him.” 

“What, why not?” Hanna asked.

“There are so many things that can go wrong, Han,” [Y/N] replied. “One, Ali could find out and make the rest of my life miserable for even thinking of her brother. Two, Jason would probably laugh in my face if I went to have a heart to heart with him.”

Hanna smiled sadly and [Y/N] was quick to reassure her friend. 

“Don’t worry about me too much, okay?” she smiled. “Like I said, it’s just a crush I’ll get over soon.” 

“I’m right here if you need someone to talk to,” Hanna said back. 

“Thanks, Han,” [Y/N] hugged the blonde. “I love you.” 

“Love you more,” Hanna replied and tickled [Y/N] causing the latter to giggle as the two pulled back from the hug. 

“Let’s go before Spencer marches in here looking for us,” [Y/N] said and Hanna agreed. 

“You keep zoning out on me,” Hanna complained with a pout and [Y/N] laughed, shaking her head. 

“Sorry," she replied sheepishly and Hanna rolled her eyes fondly.

The two girls arrived at Spencer’s house faster than [Y/N] would’ve liked. 

“You ready?” Hanna asked her friend. 

'Nope,' [Y/N] thought. 

“Yep,” she replied to Hanna before they got out of the car and walked towards their friend’s house. 

Hanna opened the door and moved inside the house first as [Y/N] followed behind quietly. 

“There they are,” Jason said with a smile and [Y/N]’s breath hitched at hearing his voice after so long. 

“Jason, hi,” Hanna greeted him with a hug. “Sorry, we’re late.” 

“No worries,” Jason replied to Hanna before turning towards [Y/N]. 

“Hi Jason,” [Y/N] greeted Jason with a hug too, trying her best to ignore her thudding heart. 

“Hey, [Y/N], it’s good to see you,” Jason returned her hug with a smile. 

“Likewise,” [Y/N] pulled back from the hug and gave him a small smile before grabbing a seat next to Hanna. 

“So, I was saying,” Jason began, standing on the opposite side of the island to face all the girls. “You girls have done a lovely job on the memorial. I might have done a thing or two differently. We can adjust along the way though.

“Here’s a copy of the program,” he said, handing the girls each a small booklet. 

“I emailed you the program we worked on,” Spencer said, sitting straight in her seat. 

“Right, I saw the draft,” Jason said nonchalantly. “This just fine-tunes it.”

From the corner of her eyes [Y/N] could tell Spencer wasn’t too happy with his words. Jason talked more about the program before he paused when his eyes fell on the photo of his sister. 

“Is this the picture for the program?” he asked, his voice softer than before. 

“Yes,” [Y/N] answered when no one else did and Jason’s eyes fell on her. “It’s everyone’s favorite.” 

“It’s the one I would’ve chosen,” he replied.

[Y/N] nodded with a small smile and Jason returned the gesture before he looked away.

“I thought I’d be able to get my whole family out here, but at the last minute, my mom…” Jason trailed off with a sad sigh. “It’s crazy talking about this, isn’t it? When I think about Ali, I think of you guys. All of you in her bedroom, laughing and keeping secrets. Long time ago now.” 

The girls remained silent as they didn’t know the right way to respond to him. This was actually the very first time they were all having a conversation with Jason in the first place. 

The clock ticked as they talked more about the memorial- well Jason talked while the girls listened. 

“Oh and I’m adding one more speaker to the program,” he said, writing down a name. 

[Y/N] and Emily were the first ones to notice the name as they sat the closest to where Jason was standing. The two looked at each other with almost terrified eyes, increasing the other three girls’ anxiety.

“Jenna Marshall?” Emily was the first to ask, causing Aria, Hanna and Spencer to look at each other in shock. 

“Wait, you want Jenna to speak at the dedication?” [Y/N] asked next, trying her best to not stammer through the sentence.

“That’s right,” Jason replied casually. 

“Why?” Spencer asked suspiciously. 

“She asked me if I could,” said Jason. 

“Jenna asked to speak?” Aria asked, wanting to make sure she and her friends weren’t hearing things. 

“Yes, she did,” Jason replied with a frown. “Is there a problem?” 

“It didn’t occur to us that Ali and Jenna were that close,” [Y/N] added calmly, hoping to lessen the tension that was slowly brewing.

Jason turned to face her and he visibly relaxed, nodding in understanding. 

“I didn’t know either,” he said. “Jenna called and told me that my sister was a lot of help to her after the accident.”

The girls looked at each other, silently wondering what exactly Jenna was up to. 

“Well, concentrate on what you guys are going to say and leave the rest to me,” Jason said, packing his things, oblivious to the difficult situation he had put the girls under. “Now, I’m going to have a talk with Detective Wilden and find out why they still haven’t located Toby.” 

“It’s good to see you girls,” he said with a polite smile and turned to leave. [Y/N] didn’t know if she was imagining things but she could’ve sworn that Jason passed her one last parting smile.

Spencer moved to walk Jason out and [Y/N] shook her head to clear her thoughts. She had more pressing matters at the moments, such as Jenna Marshall. Hanna checked her phone as they waited for Spencer when suddenly [Y/N]’s phone binged. 

Aria and Emily looked at [Y/N] with alerted eyes while the latter nervously took out her cellphone. [Y/N] instantly frowned when she saw that it was Hanna, who had texted her while sitting right next to her. 

‘DON’T LOOK AT ME,’ the text read. 

‘And, he totally likes you.’ 

“Someone we know?” Hanna asked, facing [Y/N] with a teasing glint in her eyes and making sure her other friends couldn't see her.

“Is it A?” Aria asked nervously. 

“Don’t worry, it’s just spam,” [Y/N] smiled at Aria and Emily, who relaxed at her response. 

‘You’re a brat,’ [Y/N] quickly texted Hanna and the latter covered her laugh with a series of coughs.

—————

*read next part here!

[toygirly]

i forget people care about me without a reason

[bobohu4eva]

Ecstasy

Part 3- Candy

Characters: Reader x Baekhyun Feat. Chanyeol

Genre: Soloist AU, Smut, angst, fluff

WC: 6k

Tag List: @nana-banana @xzyxbbh @iluvybs @greasywall @endzii23 @scopoliax @silent-potato @baekyeonoreo

Warnings for this chapter: explicit smut, unprotected sex, drug consumption

Masterlist

Addiction (noun): Disorder characterized by compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences

“Did you take her home with you last night? People saw you leaving with her, you know.”

“No, I just drove her home and then called it a night.”

“No, I just drove her home and then called it a night.”

A scoff. “Sure.”

“You ask her if you don’t believe me. But why do you even give a shit? She definitely thinks you fucked some other girl last night.”

“I know. I��m gonna call her.”

“And tell her where you were? She won’t believe whatever bullshit you make up. You’re acting weird, maybe it’s best if you just leave her alone.”

And with that, the call ended. Chanyeol knew better than to push it, he was probably just in one of his moods again.

When she got up the next morning she did her best to take her mind off things. Cooked a nice breakfast, cuddled up with a good book, the works. And for a while it worked, until his caller ID flashed across her phone screen, vibrating with an unwelcomed urgency.

She hadn’t texted him back, and she hadn’t expected him to keep his word, she hadn’t wanted him to.

Reluctantly, she picked up, heart thumping heavily against her ribs. She waited for him to speak.

“Look, I’m really sorry I had to leave last night.”

She didn’t say anything.

“Y/n?”

“What do you want me to say?”

“I don’t know.”

“I’m gonna hang u-”

“Wait, I’m sorry. I know what it probably looked like. That would’ve been an asshole thing to do, I don’t know what to tell you other than that it wasn’t like that, you just have to trust me. I’d like to see you again.”

“Trust you? I don’t need to trust you, and I don’t, at all. I just wish you weren’t such a dick.”

Even though she’d been feeling better, the pain from the night before was still fresh on her mind.

A brief silence, and then a long sigh. “Are you busy? Can I pick you up?”

“You’re crazy.” She laughed a bit, purely in disbelief, and ended the call.

She was finally starting to feel okay after the night she’d had, she wasn’t going to let him ruin it. As far as she was concerned, he ended this little fling when he left her at the party.

Her phone was discarded across the room, and she got back into her book. She was vaguely aware of its vibrations in the background, but she paid them no mind. Briefly she thought about blocking him, but she wasn’t that distraught about it. She could just delete his number later.

It had been about an hour and she was fully immersed in her book when she was pulled back to reality by a knock on her front door.

She wasn’t expecting anyone. It couldn't be… Right?

She dashed to her phone only to be greeted with an onslaught of missed calls and texts from him.

Missed call from Baekhyun

“Can you please call me back?”

Missed call from Baekhyun

“Are you home?”

“I really need to talk to you. Will you just hear me out?”

And then the most recent one;

“I’m coming over”

She did her best to swallow down the lump in her throat as she made her way to the door, and there he was.

She stood before him in her pajamas, no makeup, hair a mess. It was a Sunday morning, she hadn’t been expecting anyone. When he took a step to come in, her hand landed on his shoulder.

“Whatever you want to say you can say from right there.”

He pouted at her. He had the audacity to push out his bottom lip and frown just a little, widening his eyes apologetically. “Okay.” He cleared his throat. “I know you’re upset, it was shitty to ditch you like that. Chanyeol told me he gave you a ride home.”

“He did.”

“Did he just drive you there, or..?”

“What do you care?” She spat, crossing her arms over her chest. “You really think you have a right to ask me that right now?”

“Can I please just come in? Or can we go for a drive?”

He wasn’t letting up, and part of her was glad, though she fought it tooth and nail. The despair she felt the night before was still fresh on her mind, and she knew that not letting him in was the easy, correct solution, but she couldn’t fight the other, more reckless side of her that still wanted him. The moment she opened the door for him the smarter half was doomed, and she knew that.

She glared at him for a second, and he still just looked back with apologetic eyes. She couldn’t send him away, not here in person, he made it too impossible.

Another minute later she let out a long sigh, beckoning him into her apartment.

“Nice place.” He remarked.

She thought her apartment was alright, but it definitely wasn’t anywhere near as fancy as where he lived.

“Don’t say that.”

“What? It's quaint, I like it.”

She only rolled her eyes. He followed her to the couch where they both sat down, and she hated that he’d come to her while she was in such a state. Every other time he’d seen her she was fully made up and wrapped in skin tight silk, her plaid pajama shorts and old white t-shirt couldn't compare.

“Why did you want to talk to me so bad? We barely even know each other.”

“I like spending time with you, and I’d be disappointed to see that come to an end so soon.” He said simply.

“Yeah well then ditching me to go off with some other girl probably wasn’t the best idea.” She regretted the words as soon as they flew off her lips. “I mean, it’s just rude, to invite me and then ditch me like that without even saying why.”

“I know. I said I was sorry, and I know it sucks that I can’t just tell you where I was, but that’s why I wanted to talk to you. So I can try to make it up to you.”

“And if I’m not interested in that?”

“Look, If you really genuinely want me to leave, I will. This is your home, you just have to tell me and I’ll go. But you let me in and haven’t asked me to go yet so I have a feeling that deep down you want me here.”

Her jaw clenched. He was right, but it still pissed her off.

“So how are you gonna make it up to me then?”

“We could go get lunch or something, I don’t know, you tell me.” He smiled at her.

“I’m not really dressed to go anywhere if you haven’t noticed.” She tried to sound nonchalant about it but the blush on her cheeks was painfully obvious and she knew it.

“Aw come on, you look cute like this.” He said, reaching out and playfully ruffling up her already messy hair.

Her mind wandered back to what he’d said to her in the car before.

You’re so fucking beautiful.

“You’re just saying that.” She curled into herself and away from him, removing his hand.

That infuriating little pout again. It would be the death of her.

“Can’t you just believe me for once? Why would I say that if I didn’t mean it?”

“To get in my pants. Duh.”

“Baby I’ve been in your pants, I have no need to lie about dumb little things like that. It’s just a compliment, and you really do look pretty cute right now.”

The pet name definitely didn’t help things. The way his lip twitched up into a little smile at the end felt too real. He wasn’t lying, but she almost wished he was.

“Don’t get all shy on me again now.”

His hand cupped her jaw and brought her eyes to his, as he’d done countless times before. She’d been avoiding eye contact at all costs, knowing it gave him too much power, but he knew the effect he had on her, it was all too obvious. The light touch of his thumb on her cheekbone was enough to have her eyes fluttering shut for a second, a breath getting caught in her throat. Damn him to hell for being so irresistible.

“Don’t get me wrong, you looked hot last night and the time before, but I like this too, I like it a lot. You’re just really pretty.”

She couldn’t fight it anymore, he had her in the palm of his hand and they both knew it. She was powerless to stop it when he pulled her in, until the space was gone and their lips collided, the taste of him dancing across her tongue like the sweetest candy.

They say sugar is just as addictive as cocaine.

She didn’t fight him at all, and soon he was leaning over her, pushing her back to the cushion, reclaiming his place between her thighs.

He leaned up, a lopsided grin looking down at her. “You taste like pancakes, fucking delicious.”

She giggled. They had been delicious, she’d made them all herself.

His tongue stayed dancing with her own until he moved his kisses to her jaw, then down to her collarbone, until he hastily pulled up her shirt. Wet kisses covered her neck and chest and soon she was left topless, giving his lips access to the soft curves hidden beneath. She felt the bites, the suction of his lips on her skin, blueming splotches of purple with every taste. The more he kissed, the denser the lustful haze grew, and any remaining anger towards him was effortlessly washed away with her desire.

Her hands began to pull at his clothes, wanting, needing, the feeling of his warm honeyed skin against her own. He leaned up for a second to pull off his shirt and she let out a sigh of relief when she finally felt his chest pressed against her, his lips covering hers again greedily.

Before she even had time to react, one pretty hand was shoved beneath the waistband of her pants and underwear. “You’ve been this wet this whole time?” He teased, pressing his face back into her neck.

“Shut up.”

He pulled away, just enough to look at her, a daring grin dancing across his features. “Make me.”

So she did with another kiss, and soon she was being undressed completely, left bare on the couch beneath him. Baekhyun stared for a second, and he felt himself twitch at the sight, loving the sight of her so open and vulnerable, just for him. He thought he would take it slow this time, but she made him question his own will, too enthralled with the promise of having her wrapped around him. But first, he had to make sure she was ready.

With a few quick motions he moved her so she was sitting, pulling her legs open as his knees hit the floor and he grabbed her by the hips, bringing her to him.

He groaned at the first taste of her on his tongue, diving in with no hesitation. Her head hit the back of the couch within seconds, lewd whines filling the room as her fingers laced themselves into the soft white strands of his hair. The pace he set was unforgiving, and she quickly felt that beautiful feeling swelling within her, growing stronger with every wet lick against her core. His tongue and the suction of his lips drove her further and further towards that edge, and when she was so close she could nearly taste that sweet feeling of relief, he pulled away.

He watched as she moaned and begged for him to touch her again, but he only smirked, and she felt dizzy when her eyes found his, wanting, needing him to give her more.

“Please.” She begged him in a broken sigh.

His thumb replaced his tongue, observing the way her legs twitched as he toyed with her. His other hand moved under the waistband of his own pants, eyes fluttering shut when he finally touched himself. He was quickly losing patience too, and brought his face between her thighs once again.

Her hands were back in his hair and she gave it a particularly firm tug when he ate her out just right and he moaned into her, the vibrations pushing her even closer to the edge. He now wasted no time in bringing her back to where she’d been, licking and sucking at her clit like a man starved. The feeling was warm and tight inside of her, rising quickly in dense waves of exultation, until one last wet kiss broke the tension and pure delight flooded her mind and body. Baekhyun smiled at how she shook in his mouth and hot fluids pooled on his tongue, eventually pulling away with a pleased smirk, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand.

She was still trying to catch her breath when he sat down next to her, pulling her mostly limb body up and onto his lap. His hands brought her face to his, messily kissing her before moving down to leave another mark below her ear. All the while she couldn't help but whine in her sensitivity.

Before she’d even fully recovered he was grabbing her by the waist, lifting her until he was able to position himself and slip inside. He set the pace right away, pushing in again and again as she clung onto his back, whining into his ear. One hand wandered over her chest, playing with the soft mounds, clutching her hip with the other.

The feeling was quickly overwhelming her, the way he reached the deepest, sweetest spot inside that it was almost too much, but too good to stop. Her mind spun and desperate gasps resembling his name filled the apartment as a second wave of relief washed over her, and he took it as his queue to let himself go as well, pounding her until he stilled, finding his own relief deep inside.

“Fuck,” He sighed, and he was kissing her with all he had.

He fucked her two more times before they left for lunch. Once on the kitchen counter, and once in the shower. They weren’t patient enough to make it to the bedroom. With her, he was insatiable. He drank her in like a desert spring, each sip more euphoric than the last.

As she got dressed for lunch, he laid on her bed, just smiling to himself in the pleasant, post orgasmic glow, admiring her.

Lunch was nice. The place was a lot more upscale than she’d expected but still comfortable, and they got their own little private area to themselves, a subtle reminder of just who she was there with.

The food was amazing and the conversation flowed effortlessly, never feeling awkward or forced. Baekhyun was his beautiful, charming self and she couldn’t get enough. When the dessert came, she made sure to give him a taste, sharing the strawberry ice cream on her tongue in a heated kiss. Any distaste she had towards him from the night before felt like a distant memory, this Baekhyun wasn’t the same guy who ditched her, it just couldn’t be.

“By the way, I have something for you.”

“Oh?”

He nodded, reaching into his jacket and she swore for a second it looked like he was blushing. Byun Baekhyun, blushing because of her. It seemed impossible but when her eyes found his face again, busy looking down, digging in his jacket, she knew she was right. His cheeks and ears had become just a little pink, and then he was sliding something across the table to her.

A pill, she knew the kind.

“Usually I’m more careful, but we got kind of carried away last night… and this morning. Sorry about that.”

She covered her mouth, laughing in amusement and surprise. “I didn’t even think about that...” It was nice, she thought, that he did and bought it for her. Most men wouldn’t even think twice about such a thing.

She started reaching for the pill, pink packaging and all, when the waiter turned the corner towards their table. Nobody said anything as he looked down at the item on the table, then at either of them, before quickly turning around to leave them be.

As soon as the guy was gone, Baekhyun burst out laughing, as did she.

“I’m never gonna hear the end of this.” He chuckled, running a hand through his icy hair. “My friend Kyungsoo owns this place.”

She was still just giggling, and popped the pill out of its packaging, washing it down with a sip of her mimosa.

Baekhyun looked at her with a satisfied smile. “Thank you for letting me in earlier.”

“I still can’t believe you actually showed up at my place like that.”

She caught the way he glanced down at the table, seemingly embarrassed. He still wasn’t looking at her when he responded.

“I said I needed to talk to you, but I also just really hate being ignored.”

“And if I hadn’t let you in?”

“I mean I’m not gonna force you to hang out with me. It would’ve been disappointing though.” He cleared his throat. “By the way, you never answered my question earlier.”

“What question?”

“About Chanyeol driving you home.”

She paused, a pleased smirk pulling at her lips. “What about it?”

“Did he just drive you?”

Of course he had only driven her, but she was feeling a little bit evil that afternoon and decided that after all his bullshit she could mess with him too.

“You mean did he fuck me after?”

“Don’t make this harder than it needs to be, sweetheart.”

“And what if he did?” She bit her lip, now barely able to hold back her grin.

Baekhyun narrowed his eyes at her. “To think you were so shy when we first met.”

“You didn’t answer my question.” She almost sang out. “It’s not like it would be any of your business if we did, not when I still don’t know where you went.”

“It’s one thing to go home with someone while out with someone else, which I didn’t, by the way, it’s a completely different thing to fuck the best friend of the person who invited you, who you’re also already sleeping with.”

She could tell he was done playing nice, he’d had enough of her little game.

“You’re that bothered huh? Well we didn’t. He dropped me off and I went to bed by myself.”

Baekhyun was leaning back in his chair, stretching. He looked relieved.

“So he only drove you then?”

“Well, we also talked for a while.”

“Oh yeah?”

She nodded. “He told me I should stay away from you. That it wasn’t like you to act like this, whatever ‘this’ even is. He was kind of ambiguous about it. He also said you don’t do relationships.”

The last words were a bit quieter.

“No, I don’t.” He confirmed, “But he’s an idiot, he just wants you for himself.”

She wondered why, if he didn’t do relationships, he had taken her there. The post sex lunch date usually meant it was more than just sex, right? Or so she thought, but at least she was there with him. Confusing as his intentions might’ve seemed, she didn’t want to get caught up with all that, she knew that was a silly thing to do. This was all just for fun, it had to be.

She only shrugged. She definitely still thought that Chanyeol was interested, but she also believed what he’d said about Baekhyun. He could’ve easily made a move on her once Baekhyun was gone, but he didn’t. Hell, if he had, maybe she would’ve slept with him after all.

“Are you busy tomorrow?” He asked.

“Not particularly, why?”

“I have a little something in mind. I could pick you up around noon.”

“You’re not gonna tell me what it is?”

“No, I think it should be a surprise.” He said with a grin.

She considered it for a moment, and she had some work to do, but nothing she couldn’t finish by noon.

“Alright. Can you at least give me a hint though?”

He considered it for a moment, one corner of his mouth tugging into a smile. “Nope, you’re just gonna have to wait and see.”

The next day at noon, he was pulling up to her apartment once again. She didn’t want it to seem like she was trying too hard but she still put a decent amount of effort into her look for the day. She would be with him, after all. She settled for a simple cropped t-shirt with some leggings, it was simple and comfortable, but still showed off her curves, and paired nicely with some light makeup.

He looked pleased as she climbed into his car, and then they were heading out into the country. She watched the harsh concrete structures gradually give way to trees and rolling hills, and all the while his thumb rubbed gentle circles on her inner thigh, other hand gripping the steering wheel. She still wondered where the day would take her, but she didn’t particularly care if she was completely honest, she knew it would be fun and exciting with him regardless.

“We’re almost there.” He noted when his hand left her thigh, turning sharply onto a small one way road.

A couple short minutes later the trees gave way, revealing a large, beautiful house. She knew it was quite common for wealthier people to have a second home in the countryside, and assumed this must’ve been one of those homes.

“It’s not my place, but Chanyeol’s in Jeju for the next few days to film, and I know where he keeps his spare key.”

“Chanyeol owns this place? It’s amazing…”

Baekhyun parked and they got out of the car. In the corner near the front door Baekhyun picked up an inconspicuous looking rock, revealing the key hidden beneath, and sticking it in the lock.

“Are you sure this is okay?” She asked, still feeling this was wrong somehow.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, and either way, it’s easier to ask forgiveness than permission.” He grinned.

And with that he opened the door and pulled her into the house with him. While she might’ve liked to look around first, Baekhyun didn’t give her the option, bringing her face to his, pressing a kiss to her lips.

She smiled as his hands found her waist, but she still wanted to look around, pulling away from him after a second.

“So you didn’t just take me here to snoop around, right?”

“You would be correct.” He replied, digging in his pocket for a moment before pulling out a plastic bag containing a number of small, dried…

“Are those mushrooms?”

Baekhyun smiled and nodded like it was the most normal thing in the world.

“Like, the drug kind?”

“The fun kind.” He smirked, but he saw the hesitancy on her face. “Don’t worry, we’re in a big gorgeous house, far away from anyone who could bother us. Nothing bad can happen to us here, I promise.”

She still didn’t look so sure. Molly was one thing, but hallucinogens were something completely different, something she wasn’t quite sure she was ready for.

Her eyes were still fixed on the bag when Baekhyun shoved it back in his pocket. She felt a hand bringing her chin up to meet his eyes. She gazed into their familiar warm brown, the innocent downward curvature painting a far more righteous picture of him.

“I wouldn’t offer you something if I didn’t think you would like it, or couldn’t handle it. I promise it isn’t scary, and I’ll be right here with you the whole time.” He wore a soft smile, warm and comforting. “I just really wanted to do this with you. You intrigue me, and these kinds of things tend to bring people closer together.”

It was difficult for her to deny him when he phrased it like that, but it didn’t exactly erase her concerns either.

“But what if I don’t like it?” She asked, barely above a whisper.

Baekhyun sighed, taking a step closer until there was nothing in her line of sight except him. His hands found her hips, resting on their curves, and his face was so close she could feel his breath on her skin.

“It’s okay if you really don’t want to, I won’t make you take them. I just thought it could be a fun way to get to know you better, and for you to get to know me.”

Why do you want to get to know me if you don’t do relationships? She didn’t say it out loud, but she couldn’t help but wonder.

But the thing was, she did want to get closer with him, badly. Despite the sex, she still felt like she didn’t actually know him much at all. Outside of their conversation over lunch the day before, they hadn’t spent much time talking about anything of significance. In a lot of ways, he was still a stranger to her, a beautiful and extremely enticing one.

“It only lasts a few hours right? And we just eat them?”

A grin spread across his handsome features and he nodded, retrieving the baggie from his pocket again. “They kind of taste like shit though, so we might want to take them with something.”

With that he turned away, heading towards the kitchen and she quickly followed. After poking around for a bit Baekhyun was grabbing a jar of peanut butter along with two spoons, and soon he was handing her a spoonful with the mushrooms squished into the thick paste.

She understood what he said about the taste. The peanut butter did a good job of concealing it, but it still just tasted a bit… dirty.

“So how long until we feel it?” She asked once she’d swallowed down the last of it.

“Probably about an hour, depends if you ate a lot before this. If you did, you might feel a little sick at first but that’ll go away.”

Convenient for him to mention that after eating them she thought, but luckily she didn’t have much for breakfast that morning anyway.

The next hour was spent exploring the house together, leaving her in awe. She knew that there were a lot of wonderful things money could buy, but this was her first time seeing them for herself, up close and all in one place. The halls were lined with interesting art, and the huge windows allowed for a beautiful view of the rolling countryside. As they wandered from room to room, Baekhyun told her funny anecdotes from his times in the house with his friend, and some of the wild things they experienced within its halls, each more fascinating and scandalous than the last.

For November, it was a surprisingly warm day and they were even able to open a few windows, letting in the warm breeze. She almost felt like she was in a dream, and as things began to shift and brighten around her, she realized it was the drugs doing. She didn’t find it unpleasant, so she easily gave in to it, enjoying the gradual shift in her consciousness.

Once they’d checked out every room she found herself lounging on a couch near one of the large windows, simply enjoying the view and the house. As she took in her surroundings, breathing in the warm air coming in from outside, she began to feel a sense of connectedness with the world around her, everything seemed to breathe with her as the green of the hills and the blue of the sky became more vibrant, and the puffy white clouds seemed to start to dance.

“How do you feel?”

She hadn’t realized the trance-like state she’d entered until his voice pulled her out of it, and she turned to look at him.

Him. In all his beauty and elegance, beaming at her like the sun itself.

“The clouds are dancing.” She said with wonder, mind swirling with the unfamiliar rush of it all.

He chuckled at her dazed expression, glad to see that she was enjoying herself, that she didn’t feel scared or uncomfortable. He pulled her towards him on the couch, until she was snugly in his arms as they both looked out at the scene before them. It was just some hills, and a blue sky with a few clouds, but to them it was breathtaking.

“Wanna go outside?”

She hadn’t even thought of that, but suddenly it seemed like the best idea she’d ever heard. Baekhyun laughed at how eagerly she sprung up from the couch, taking his hand and pulling him towards the door with her.

Once outside, the smell of the fresh air and the light wind against her skin became intoxicating. She felt his hand pulling at her and looked at how it held her own, stopping to admire how beautiful it was. Without a second thought she was holding his hand up to her face, just staring.

“Like what you see?” He teased.

They were both laughing again, and she still just stood there, staring at his hand. “Why is it so pretty? You’re like a statue or something.”

His other hand intertwined itself with her free one and finally her eyes landed on his face. The breeze moved the white hairs in a lazy dance across his forehead, and he seemed to glow in the midday sun, smooth skin reflecting the golden rays of light. Had she been unaware of her intoxicated state, she would’ve assumed him a god, far more beautiful than any regular man could possibly be.

He took in the sight of her as well, loving the way she looked at everything with wonder, wanting to show her even more. With her frame outlined by the countryside stretched out behind her she looked like a work of art, and when the gentle wind blew a strand of hair into her face, his hand was quick to catch it before it could disrupt his view.

“I feel… heavy.” She mumbled and he nodded in agreement, pulling her down with him to lay on the soft grass.

To feel the ground beneath her was a relief, loving the feel of the grass, how it made her feel more connected with the nature surrounding them. For a brief minute she let her eyes fall shut, and she watched as swirling patterns bloomed across the inside of her eyelids in a kaleidoscope of color.

The drug was nearing its peak as they laid out in the grass together, taking in its gifts with every breath. The separation of the two, from each other, and from the world around them, seemed to dissolve. She felt everything, him, the ground, the wind, and the sun, as it inhaled with her in unison, before pushing the breath back out.

“You know with all the bullshit in the city, and in life, I love coming out here and being reminded what it's all really about at the end of the day.”

He stayed looking up at the sky as he said it, and she turned her body to face him.

“And what’s that?”

“Nothing fucking matters. We’re all just here by some insanely improbable cosmic coincidence, hurtling through space on a giant rock. The things we get upset over, they just don’t matter at all in the grand scheme of things.”

His eyes were still fixed one the dancing clouds painted across the blue sky before him, but she now looked at him with a frown.

“That’s a pretty cynical way to look at things though, isn’t it?”

Baekhyun shrugged. “Maybe to some people, but I find it comforting in a way. Whenever terrible things happen, it’s nice to be able to tell yourself it doesn’t matter, that you’re only one tiny insignificant dust speck in the universe and outside of your tiny little part of everything, it doesn’t matter in the slightest.”

“But you matter a lot, to a lot of people. Your feelings, and other people’s feelings are still real.”

Finally, he turned to look at her, a gentle smile on his lips. “Yeah, that’s true unfortunately. But just because they’re real doesn’t mean we have to give them any significance. Sometimes feelings can be wrong or burdensome.”

She didn’t know what to say to that, so she just stayed quiet as his eyes remained fixed on her.

“What do you think?” He eventually asked.

“About what?”

“About everything, do you really think there’s some deeper meaning to being alive?”

“Well, yeah. Even if, like you said, we’re all just here by coincidence, we still have thoughts and feelings and personalities, things that make us us. That has to mean something, right?”

Again, he just shrugged. “I don’t know, but I guess nobody does. I think it’s nice that you think that way though.”

“Oh yeah?”

He hummed in agreement, still never taking his eyes off her. The patch of grass still separating their bodies quickly became too bothersome for him, and an arm snaked around her waist, pulling her in until the gap was closed.

“Baekhyun?” She inquired, faces now mere centimeters apart. His pupils seemed to dilate even further as he took in the closer view of her.

“I’ve never liked the way people’s faces look when I’m high, but you’re still so fucking gorgeous. I think every time I see you, you just get even more beautiful.”

The joy she felt at those words ran warm through her veins, invigorating her with an unfamiliar sense of pride, and for the first time she really, fully, believed his compliment. To tell a lie, while in such a state, just didn’t seem possible.

“Do you do this a lot?” She asked.

“You mean like the drugs, or coming out here?”

She shrugged. “Both I guess.”

“You’re the only girl I’ve ever taken out here, or done psychedelics with, now that I think about it.”

She didn’t respond, but she didn’t need to, Baekhyun saw how she smiled at his words.

As the day drew on, the two stayed where they were sprawled out on the grass, talking about anything and everything they might think of, and she definitely understood what he’d meant about the high bringing people closer. Although they hadn’t spilled any big secrets, she felt a much better understanding of what kind of person he was.

She learned that despite his fame and reputation, he wasn’t really the crazy party guy many people made him out to be, and he actually quite enjoyed, and even needed, his time to himself. She learned that he had a niece and a nephew who he cared about a lot, and spoiled whenever he had the chance, and based on the way he talked about them, he seemed to be quite fond of children in general. She learned that he did martial arts in high school, and was even quite good at it, but he never really considered doing it professionally, at least not once he found out he had such a talent for singing. More than anything though, she got to see who was not only off camera, but outside of the whirlwind of the city, and it only made her like him more.

Of course she’d been enamored with the sinful, charming side of him that he was so famous for, but she almost liked this other, softer, more sincere side of him better, especially since she had the feeling that not many girls before her had ever seen it. It made her feel that much more special, and desired by him, and she knew it would be hard to keep herself from falling, now that she’d gotten this far.

He too felt it, the way the drug let his mind embrace her so unabashedly, and the more he drank her in the more he felt that connection growing. A few times his mind would wander, debating if this was really a good idea, but her face smiling back at him was enough to easily let him forget.

He knew the first night he met her that there was something there, some spark that just made sense, even if it was just a perfect combination of chemicals, some whirlwind of pheromones that made him so hungry for her. Now however, he began to realize that there had to be more to it than just that.

The two continued to enjoy the warmth of the sun and eventually he just held her, and she listened to the steady beating of his heart where she rested her head on his chest. It felt so perfectly comfortable like that, no words were needed. They just basked in the feeling as long as they could.

But eventually, the movement of the clouds returned to its usual slow drag, the vibrance of the sky behind them waned, and the grass they laid on lost its comfort. Getting up and returning to the house felt strange after everything they’d shared, and it started to hit him just how much he was beginning to let her in.

It was an unusual feeling, to let himself be open and vulnerable with her, or with anyone. They hadn’t even discussed anything particularly personal to him, but it still wasn’t something he was used to, and he couldn’t shake the uneasiness that came with it once his mind had cleared. But he knew this feeling wasn’t something he could just push away, he still wanted more from her, and he knew he couldn’t deny it to himself when she made things feel so simple and easy, so right.

As he drove her back home that evening she thought a lot about her own feelings towards him. Being with him felt so distinctly different from anything she’d experienced with men in the past, Baekhyun made her feel wanted in a way that no one else could ever fully replicate, and it wasn’t just the fact that he was famous either. It was how he took his time in how he looked at her, kissed her, and touched her. It was his wit and his charm that never seemed to let up when he talked to her, and it was the fact of her own overwhelming desire for him, and his willingness to validate it.

He stayed on her mind that night even as she drifted to sleep, and as he dozed off Baekhyun couldn’t get her out of his head either, happily awaiting her in his dreams.

Next Chapter

[cyncerity]

I don't know if this has been said before, but do any of the borrowers have favorite snacks or movies? Is there anything in particular that Schlatt and Tubbo do together as like father and son?

Oh this gives me so much freedom to rant about absolutely nothing, thank you.

Also I only did the Bench Trio here for the sake of it being somewhat short but if anyones interested I will do other borrowers as well.

Ok, so, all of the borrowers in general really like hot foods and drinks. This is because it’s really hard to properly heat food when you live in the walls, and the quality of food isn’t really a main concern as much as having enough to eat is.

Tubbo just really likes sugar, but isn’t a huge fan of chocolate, and doesn’t like food that’s really hard for him to bite into, like skittles, jolly ranchers, gobstoppers, etc, or sticky things like starburts or taffy. So things like Pixi stixs, jello, and fruit roll-ups are really good, even if they make him really really hyperactive. He also just really likes sugary soda (though his favorite drink is hot chocolate) and junk food, which there’s never really any shortage of in Schlatt’s apartment. He also really hates scary movies, but besides that doesn’t really have a favorite genre of movie, but he likes things that make him laugh.

Tommy likes most food. He’s never been very picky, he can’t afford to be when whatever he can catch/gather is his next meal, so he’ll eat pretty much whatever. However he does like to try more interesting food, things that borrowers can’t get, like fried food, seafood, and occasionally slightly spicy food (he’s a wimp and he can’t handle anything too spicy). Also similar to Tubbo he’s gained a soda and junk food addiction. Tommy also really likes watching action movies, specifically the Spider-Man movies, which Ranboo will curse till he dies because they’ve given Tommy some…strange new ideas of how to use his rope to get around the apartment.

Ranboo really likes fruit. Of course he’s had things like blueberries, grapes, and strawberries before, since those are easy to get to outside, but he’d never had a chance to try bigger, harder to get to fruits before, and especially not fruits that grew out of America. So things like apples, pineapples, kiwis, bananas, watermelons, mangos, peaches, etc, are all things that he absolutely loves. He was also absolutely ecstatic to learn that you could dry fruit to make it last longer, similar to the jerky he would sometimes make with any excess meat he and Tommy had. He doesn’t like things overly and unnaturally sweet, but he has learned to really like tea. Ranboo also likes watching weirdly specific nature documentaries. He doesn’t like watching things about animals that lived in his area and could hurt him, but he really likes watching documentaries about animals and places he’s never seen before, like jaguars and otters, or rainforests and jungles.

Tommy and Tubbo like the documentaries, too, but they like watching them for the animal interactions. Tommy’s favorite animal becomes spiders, Tubbo’s will always be bees but moths were now second (Jambo specifically tying in second with moths), and Ranboo’s favorite animal was now also spiders, with ferrets as a close second.

And for Tubbo and Schlatt:

The two of them spend a lot of time together, since Schlatt primarily works from home to be with Tubbo. A lot of the time they act more like each other’s annoying roommates than father and son, but Schlatt still manages to be stupid while being a good dad. Like, he’ll protect his son with absolutely no hesitation, but he’ll also just throw him across a room onto his couch for shits and giggles. Y’know that meme where it’s a dad and his kid on the beach, and in one photo he’s sitting down holding his kid in a blanket and in in the other he’s walking and swinging his kid in the air by the ankle? Yeah Schlatt is both of those simultaneously. But also, Schlatt was still pretty young when he found Tubbo. He was just learning to live on his own, had only been in one serious relationship (which ended a few months later), and didn’t even really have a father figure himself. So him and Tubbo kinda grew up together, and, even though Tubbo loves Quackity just as much as Schlatt, there’s no denying that Tubbo is closer with the man who saved him all those years ago.

[bokutokoutarou]

— it can’t be that sad

pairing - tsukishima kei x reader

synopsis - your boyfriend tsukishima doesn’t understand why you’re still crying over banana fish until you force him to watch it with you

warning - swearing

[a/n] - there are no explicit spoilers for banana fish in this, but there are vague references to what happened (or what could have happened). also, i’m listening to prayer x on repeat as i write this to make myself even sadder :)

You didn’t plan on crying over Banana Fish today.

Well, then again, you never did. You didn’t even plan on crying over Banana Fish before you started the show in the first place — you had thought that your friends were exaggerating when they ranted to you about how sad the show was, but the joke was on you, because now that you’ve watched it, you turn into an emotional wreck the moment you hear the first note of the outro song, Prayer X.

And that’s exactly what happened today.

It had all happened so fast. One moment you were rearranging your closet — your phone in the pocket of your sweatshirt (well, your boyfriend’s sweatshirt) as your favourite anime opening blasted through your earbuds — and the next moment you were frozen in shock as the outro song to the saddest show you’ve ever watched blared in your ears.

Your eyes started to water against your will, and you felt your chest involuntarily start to shake as scenes from the show flashed throughout your mind. You collapsed on your bed behind you, and within the matter of seconds, you were full on sobbing, taking your phone out of your pocket and putting the volume up to wallow in your grief.

You didn’t even hear the sound of your shared bedroom door swinging open.

“So you are crying,” your boyfriend said, making you sit upright in surprise. You quickly pulled your earbuds out of your ears and dropped them on your pillow beside you, yet you could still hear the faint sound of the song playing through the tiny speakers. Somehow, hearing the song playing quietly made it hurt even more.

Tsukishima let out a small sigh, a prominent frown on his face as he sat down on your shared bed beside you. If you hadn’t known any better, you would have thought that he didn’t care. Yet you did know better. You’ve known him long enough to understand that the frown on his face was out of concern, not annoyance, and you could practically see his golden eyes glinting with the slightest hint of sympathy.

“You want to tell me what you’re crying over?” Tsukishima asked, bringing his hand over to your face and wiping away the tears that continuously flowed down your cheeks.

You felt your cheeks heat up in embarrassment, already knowing what his reaction would be. “B-banana fish...” you told him, your voice coming out in barely a whisper.

“What did you say?” he furrowed his eyebrows, clearly confused. You gulped, taking a shaky breath and biting your lip hesitantly.

“Banana fish...” your voice came out louder this time, a bit too loud for that matter. You regretted saying those two words the moment they left your mouth.

“Banana fish?” Tsukishima snorted. Any prior concern for you had been wiped off his face instantaneously, instead being replaced with a mocking grin. “What the fuck is a banana fish?”

“That sh-show I watched a couple months ago,” you told him, nudging his rib with your elbow as tears continued to roll down your cheeks.

A look of realization flashed across Tsukishima’s face, his grin growing even wider. “Don’t tell me you’re still crying over that A-”

“D-don’t say his name!” you interrupted him, even more tears streaming down your cheeks than before just at the mere thought of what he was about to say.

A loud laugh escaped Tsukishima’s lips. “Aren’t you being a little dramatic?” he asked you, putting his hand on top of your head and ruffling your hair belittlingly. “It’s just a show, relax.”

“You don’t understand, Kei,” you sniffled, wiping your runny nose with the sleeve of your (his) sweatshirt. “It’s sad. Like, really sad.”

“First of all, don’t get your snot all over my sweatshirt,” Tsukishima grimaced. “And second of all, it can’t be that sad.”

“Oh, it is.”

“I doubt that,” Tsukishima rolled his eyes.

“Doubt it all you want,” you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest defensively. ”You haven’t even watched it, so you don’t have a say in whether it’s sad or not.”

“There’s no point in me watching it. You already spoiled the ending for me, so why would I?”

You pursed your lips, a pile of guilt pooling in your chest at your boyfriend’s words. Now that you thought about it, you probably shouldn’t have spoiled the show’s ending for him after you had finished watching it, but you were so overwhelmed that you had to vent to someone. You thought he would have forgotten by now, but Tsukishima Kei wasn’t the type to forget things, even if they were small.

“But still,” you let out a shaky sigh, not wanting to back down. “Even if you know how it ends, it’ll still hurt if you watch it.”

“It won’t.”

“It will!” you persisted, a small pout forming on your face. “You’re not allowed to make fun of me for crying until you actually experience it for yourself.”

Tsukishima snorted, shaking his head as though he was annoyed by your antics, but you could tell that he was thoroughly amused at this point. “You’re never gonna give up about this, are you?”

“Never.”

He let out a small huff, his cheeks inflating before becoming hollow once more. He always looked so adorable when he did that.

“Fine...I’ll watch it,” Tsukishima groaned as though he was the one doing you a favour. “But when I don’t cry, don’t go calling me an asshole or anything.”

You clutched your grocery bag with one hand, a small yawn escaping your lips as you used your other hand to jab your key into the lock on your apartment door. Somehow, you managed to miss the slot every time. The once effortless motion of unlocking your apartment door was now a challenge since you could barely keep your eyes open. Unfortunately, all-nighters tended to do that to you.

Rewatching the first half of Banana Fish was a painful experience, to say the least. After your boyfriend begrudgingly agreed to watch it, you (foolishly) decided that you wanted to be by his side while he did so. You two stayed up all night, binge watching the show from yesterday evening until you could hear the chirps of birds outside at the crack of dawn. You didn’t even realize you had to go to work until your tired (yet somehow punctual) boyfriend poked you on the shoulder and told you to get going.

“He’s probably asleep right now,” you thought to yourself as you finally managed to unlock the door and swing it open, yet your eyes widened in surprise when you realized that this was not the case.

There he was, sitting half-awake on the couch with his sunken eyes glued to the screen of his laptop, which he had set down on the coffee table in front of him. He was hunched forward with both of his hands clasped over his mouth, and a baby blue blanket was draped on top of his head and around his shoulders like he was a child staying up past his bedtime at a sleepover. In other words, he looked like an absolute disaster.

You were about to make fun of him for being addicted to the show when you realized that his golden eyes were brimming with tears. You set the grocery bag you were holding on the kitchen counter as quietly as possible, tiptoeing toward him in an attempt to get a glimpse of the screen without distracting him.

And then you saw it.

The library scene.

The final scene.

Your eyes started to water upon seeing it, yet you didn’t allow your emotions to override you. He hadn’t noticed that you were standing beside him, which was perfect because now you’d be able to get his true, unfiltered reaction.

“What the fuck...?” Tsukishima whispered to himself in disbelief, still not noticing that you were there. Tears started to roll down his cheeks as the camera panned out of the library and the screen faded to black. “What the fuck?”

You stayed silent for a couple more seconds, watching as Tsukishima put his hands under the rim of his glasses to wipe away his tears.

“Why’re you crying, Kei?” you tapped your boyfriend on the shoulder, a small smile forming on your face despite the fact that tears were rolling down your cheeks as well. “It can’t be that sad.”

He jumped in his seat, his tearful golden eyes widening in surprise. “Wh-what?” he scoffed, rushing to fix his glasses — which were now lopsided thanks to the sudden jump scare. “I’m not crying.”

“Oh really?” you taunted him, taking a seat on the couch by his side. “Then what are those on your cheeks?”

Tsukishima opened his mouth to respond — probably with one of his infamous witty retorts — yet he promptly closed it shut, his lips forming a small pout. “Just shut up...” he muttered, his voice coming out as barely a whisper.

You put your hand on top of the baby blue blanket that was draped over his back, rubbing small circles over it to comfort him. You fully expected him to swat your hand away and tell you to, quote on quote, “fuck off”, so you were surprised beyond belief when he hunched forward to put his glasses down on the coffee table, before covering his face with the palms of his hands.

“It’s not fucking fair,” you heard your boyfriend mumble. “They were supposed to go to J-”

“I know Kei...” you sighed, a heavy feeling weighing your chest down as you stared at the dark laptop screen in front of you.

“This is ridiculous,” Tsukishima sniffled, rubbing his eyes for a couple of seconds before sitting upright from his hunched position. “I can’t believe I’m crying over a fucking cartoon...”

“It’s an anime,” you corrected him, yet he didn’t seem to care. You stared at him for a second — from the dark bags under his golden eyes, to the lost expression on his face, he looked utterly exhausted.

“Kei...did you even eat today?” you asked him, titling your head to the side in curiousity.

“No,” he yawned, giving his head a slight shake. You would have told him to get up and go make something, but he seemed to be getting more tired by the second.

“You’re such a dumbass,” you sighed softly, a small smile forming on your lips. “I bought groceries — I’ll make you something small.”

You got up from the couch and walked over to the kitchen, deciding that a bagel with cream cheese would be good enough to satisfy his stomach until dinner. You didn’t bother to toast it even though he liked it that way because beggars can’t be choosers, yet your not-so-hard work was all for naught because by the time you made your way back to the couch, he was already fast asleep.

Your eyes flashed to the dark computer screen for a moment, before they returned to your sleeping boyfriend. Your lips curved upwards into a nostalgic, yet painful smile as you admired the peaceful expression that was on the blond’s face. It reminded you of a certain someone.

You set the bagel you had made down on the coffee table, before laying the baby blue blanket over him gently and giving him a soft kiss on the forehead.

“Must be a nice dream...”

[polarisbibliotheque]

DMC OC Week - Day 4: Likes/Dislikes

OC + DMC Universe

Character guide on likes & dislikes

Original Character: Diana

Likes

Dante - doesn’t want to show that much, or else he’ll be insufferable;

Books – probably spends more time reading than recommended and has a book collection bigger than she can actually read;

Playing musical instruments – currently masters piano and guitar, but has a secret admiration for drums. She wants to learn how to play, but she doesn’t have anyone to teach her (Dante's more than willing to teach when he learns about it, though);

Tea – some people are coffee addicts, she’s a tea addict. That’s it;

Studying the occult – takes being a witch very seriously. Diana has her beliefs and an immense knowledge on all things occult, from all cultures: she studies properly, cross-references, forms her opinions and keeps her own grimoire with results from her research. It brings out her strength and self-assuredness;

Tarot – if she isn’t reading for herself, she’s checking out readings. She likes to know what the future holds for her, but she also uses it as a tool for self-improvement;

Gardens – Diana enjoys the feeling of staying out in the open, but she also enjoys…

Libraries – the silence and loneliness among books recharges her batteries;

Live concerts – even though she enjoys being quiet, she also has a love for how music feels like during concerts. It can be a hard rock band, a pop group, a diva or a jazz singer, Diana can never get enough of concerts;

Green lemon gummy bears – loves gummy bears, but the greens are her favorites (Dante knows this because he was in shock to find someone who didn’t prefer the red ones);

Exercising – any type of exercising, Diana is up for it: spinning, dancing, martial arts, Pilates… She needs to keep moving and blow off some steam from all the energy she keeps inside;

Trashy 80’s horror movies – the worse, the better. But she includes classics like Friday the 13th, Halloween, Nightmare on Elm Street in this list; those are her go-to movies when she needs to lift up her spirits;

Chocolate sundaes – a topic that raises chaos and mayhem among Diana and Dante;

Anything blue – it’s a preference ever since she was born. Dante always contemplates at how Diana and Vergil can be so monochromatic, wearing blue or black, and always choosing blue things. Whatever things, they are blue. And everything is blue for him and himself and everybody around ‘cause he ain’t got nobody to listen to (proceeds to sing Blue by Eiffel 65);

Listening to music out loud and singing (screaming)* – put on the likes of Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins and you’ll have her and Dante singing at the top of their lungs. And dancing (or trying to);

Disco music* – it’s a niche she enjoys probably a little bit too much. Diana and Dante are dangerous when there’s disco music playing;

*She’ll only do those things when around people she trusts, but it is on her top favorites.

Dislikes

Stepping on wet unidentified things – Diana swears she can die if that happens;

Wet socks – which pretty much compliments the first one;

People who turn off/dims the volume of her music when she’s enjoying or just listening to it – Diana will say nothing. But the person will be subject of her death stare until the music is back on;

Sleeping with no socks on – Diana firmly believes nothing will touch her feet while she’s sleeping if she’s wearing socks. Dante has to laugh out loud every time they talk about it;

Hubris/intolerant people – no one is better than someone else just because. She prefers humble people, albeit she can be pretty arrogant when she means to. Diana only forgives this behavior on Vergil because he’s the Dark Slayer and, as far as she is concerned, “he has all the right to be as arrogant as he wants when it comes to his power”;

Bullying and intimidation – Diana’s been through it, so she’s harsh with those who do it. It’s one of the few things that makes her lose her temper;

Prejudice, especially if it causes harm – this topic sparks a fire inside of her that can burn down a whole city. It hits home: Diana can’t take it when people mistreat Dante because of his demonic heritage, ignoring the kind, good soul he has inside. She’s ready to tackle people down, which makes Dante hold her by her coat and drag her ass back to the shop;

Artificial strawberry flavoring* – another issue that fires up discord inside Devil May Cry. Diana can’t wrap her head around how Dante can enjoy strawberry syrup – which is basically “food coloring and fake flavoring” – while Dante can’t wrap his head around how Diana cannot enjoy everything with the name “strawberry” on it – artificial or not;

*It is settled by banana splits with “everything on it”. Except nuts – both of them stay away from that.

[weirdfetishes123]

Big Blueberry Bottom Blaine (part 1) - deviantart

by juicybb

Blaine, Tommy, and Rich had scored inside tour tickets to the most secretive place in town- the Twiddle chocolate factory. The three were lured by the exclusive nature of the invitation, even though as three young gay men, the idea of sweets and carbohydrates was repellent to them.

Rich was a tall redhead with a big chest and big arms. Their friend Tommy was shorter, with wavy brown hair and a small, tapered waist. Blaine was right in between, with spiky, jet-black hair and a beefy physique. While he didn't have the cut abs of Tommy or the big muscles of Rich, he had a giant, bulbous butt that caught everyone's eyes. As a proud bottom, Blaine was addicted to the attention he got from it.

As they clamored into the gate and through the entrance, Twiddle himself greeted them. "So good to see you boys! Now, first things first- let's get you into some protective gear. No loose clothing that can get stuck in my machinery."

He opened a closet to reveal three spandex bodysuits- two black with white belts, and one shiny, bright blue with a red belt. Blaine immediately shot his hand out and grabbed the loud, bright blue suit that gleaned in the light.

As the boys squeezed into their suits, Blaine marveled at how much the spandex stretched. As he pulled the blue stretchy fabric over his round, plump booty, he heard a tiny rip.

"Twiddle! The butt of my suit ripped!"

The other boys bent over to inspect. "It's just a tiny hole," Twiddle said, "and these are my last three suits! Come along!"

* * * * *

"Now in here, we have the fruit room!" Twiddle exclaimed. "We have so many juicy fruit treats that we make here, that we grow our own giant, synthetic fruit with the most delicious juices!"

The boys looked around in wonder. There were giant bananas growing from the ceiling, beach ball-sized grapes growing from a tree in the corner, and a bush of strawberries that were three feet high.

In the middle of the room was a bright blue ball, almost six feet in height, with stairs leading up the side. From one side, halfway up, almost a foot long, stuck out a bright blue stem.

"What's that???" said Blaine, transfixed.

"That's the biggest synthetic blueberry ever grown!" said Twiddle proudly. "With the most delicious juice ever tasted."

Blaine's eyes were caught by the blue stem, rounded at one end, glistening with juice. He climbed the step to get a better look at it.

Rich laughed. "That looks like one thing and one thing only to Blaine."

Blaine, hypnotized, reached down and felt it slick and pulsing with the pressure from the juice. He brought his hand to his mouth, licking the sweet juice from his fingers as his other hand kneaded his plump rear end.

"Snap out of it, Blaine," Tommy said. "Besides, you may be a big bottom, but you could never fit that all the way in."

Blaine whirled around. "Oh REALLY?" he smirked. I'll show you how wrong you are." With that, he reached around to find the hole in the rear of his blue spandex suit.

"I wouldn't do that, Blaine," said Twiddle in a bored voice.

Blaine ignored him as he positioned himself perfectly, backing closer and closer to the blueberry. The other boys' eyebrows raised in anticipation.

Blaine worked his plump oversized butt onto the stem, feeling its slippery blue stem slide inside of him. He groaned loudly as the other boys stared in amazement and jealousy.

"Guys this fits perfectly! It feels so wonderful, and I can feel it throbbing from the pressure of the juice!" Blaine gasped.

"I'd stop that now if I were you, Blaine," Twiddle warned.

But there was no stopping him now. Blaine started to gently gyrate against the big blue ball, his shiny spandex bottom brightly complementing the blue skin of the fruit. "Guys this is amazing!" he shouted, visibly excited as his erection started stretching the front of his suit.

Tommy was transfixed. "Wow Blaine, we knew you were a power bottom but this is a new level!"

Rich smirked. "Leave it to Blaine to find the one thing in a candy factory he can use as a butt plug!"

Blaine stuck his tongue out back. "Whatever! I'm the BIGGEST bottom!"

Twiddle chimed in, "And soon you'll be even bigger!"

Just then the big fruit started making rumbling noises. Tommy and Rich looked concerned, while Blaine continued bouncing his big blue booty on the ball. Twiddle yawned.

"I can feel it doing something!" said Blaine, a big grin on his face as his erection stretched the blue spandex up past his bright red belt. "This is amazing!"

"What's happening Twiddle??" Rich demanded.

"It's too late now," Twiddle said. "Blaine's about to start ripening."

With that Blaine let out a huge moan as his face flushed blue. "Oh wow! It just squirted inside me!" As he continued pushing his big round butt down, his face turned a deeper and deeper blue.

"Blaine, you're turning blue!" Tommy cried.

Blaine continued pushing back on the stem. "Guys you don't understand, this is incredible! It feels like it's just one big load that won't stop pumping inside me!"

The ball continued to gurgle. Rich's eyes almost popped out of his socket as he saw the fruit shrink very slightly- and Blaine's big booty swell up like two balloons.

"Your butt!" he shouted.

"It feels even juicier!" shouted Blaine with a smile, his blue hands rubbing the shiny spandex-covered orbs.

"What's happening to him??" demanded Rich.

"I told him he shouldn't have done that," Twiddle replied. "It's too late to save him now."

Tommy, hands on his black spandex-clad hips, strode over to Blaine. "To hell with that, let's get you off of this," he said, tugging him away- but Blaine's newly swollen booty was keeping him fixed firmly in place.

"Ooooof, this is one huge load!" said Blaine, his butt now the size of two overinflated basketballs. Tommy and Rich looked on helplessly. "It's still coming, now I'm starting to taste... taste..."

"Here it comes..." said Twiddle.

"BLUEBERRIES!" Blaine yelled out with glee, as the fruit started to shrink even more. Blaine grabbed his stomach as his small, beefy muscle gut began to slowly inflate. His belly began to swell more, and more, and more, matching the pace of his rear end.

"Blaine, you're blowing up!" Rich said.

"Like a balloon!" Blaine yelled.

"Like a blueberry," Twiddle corrected.

Tommy leaned in to poke Blaine's swelling stomach- juicy and taut, like a water balloon. Blaine tried to wave him away, but his arms had begun to swell too and he was having trouble keeping them from popping up.

As the fruit began to shrink lower to the ground, Blaine's plump round booty continued to inflate downward, the stem continuing to pump the boy full of juice as he moaned.

"I'm getting bigger and bigger," Blaine exclaimed. As punctuation, his bright red belt snapped, sending his midsection surging out with more juice as Blaine moaned in relief.

"Are you OK?" Tommy asked. "Does it hurt??"

"Look how much I can take!" Blaine said proudly. "This feels weird but I don't want it to stop!"

Tommy desperately continued to try to push his friend's massive butt off of the stem, but by now his booty had swollen so big and juicy that the stem was stuck between his plump cheeks. Tommy tugged as hard as he could, but the stem returned back into Blaine with a surge of juice.

"Whoooaaaaa" moaned Blaine as he continued to swell.

"You have to do something!" Rich protested to Twiddle.

Twiddle gestured to his now fruity friend. "It's almost done."

And what a sight Blaine was! The fruity ball had almost disappeared into the floor, with its stem sticking out about a foot high. Blaine's booty had swollen down with it, but it wasn't droopy. In fact, every part of him had swollen, with just slight separation of legs and fat arms atop a big blue ball of a body.

"Almost... done..." Blaine sighed as he felt the last of the blueberry juice surging into him. His body started rounding out perfectly, his spandex bodysuit shaping him like a glove.

After one last surge, the blue stem plopped out of Blaine's rear. Blaine was even more aroused, and now, a giant sphere with a head, two hands and two feet.

He waddled around, rubbing his body with his blue hands and softly moaning. "Guyyyys, I've never taken a load that big before. I feel like I'm gonna bust any second!"

Twiddle walked around Blaine, as the boy waddled around to maintain eye contact. "That just means you're ripe! And you really are the BIGGEST bottom out there!" Tommy couldn't help but snicker.

Rich looked quizzically. "Do you feel OK Blaine?"

"I feel awesome!" he hollered. "But I feel like I'm gonna blow- I gotta release somehow!"

"Your buddies will help you out with that eventually," Twiddle said. "It's called juicing."

"Will he be back to normal then?" Tommy asked.

"For a little while," Twiddle replied. "Unfortunately, Blaine here was a little too greedy," he said, patting the spandex-covered blueberry boy, as Blaine moaned. "So a few hours after you get all the juice out of him, he'll start to return to his normal shape."

"His normal shape?? What does that mean?" Rich asked.

"He wanted to be BIG and the center of attention, and now he is," said Twiddle. "You boys will need to juice him, but he's always going to be a big blueberry for the rest of his life!" Hearing that, blimpy Blaine patted his swollen sides with his blue hands as he moaned and sighed louder.

Tommy and Rich, each in their shiny black spandex suits, looked at each other and shrugged. "Okay, blueberry boy, let's get you juiced!"

[ahgastae]

worst chefs in seoul (outline) – kim seokjin x gn!reader

➥ word count: 3.9k | reality/cooking show au | crack | fluff

➥ m.list

➥ a/n: we’re back at it again with another wip i never finished lol. this one is the outline for what was intended to be a social media au (as evidenced by some of the notes i left for myself), though it’s likely that’s not how it actually would’ve come out. i’d love to hear some of your thoughts/reactions, and i hope you enjoy ♡

day ???

start w y/n and yoongi goofing off on twitter

the whole y/n eating a moldy grape thinking it’s a kiwi thing

and yoongi panicking bc of it

could transition into them talking about the finale episode of their favorite show: worst chefs in seoul

they’re both huge fans, and equally complete disasters when it comes to culinary skill

yoongi likes the show bc he likes the competition aspect and tbh he got addicted after y/n forced him to watch the first season w them

y/n also likes it for that reason, but the main reason they watch it is bc of a certain kim seokjin

anyway, they talk about the finale, and then yoongi says something about the next season’s ‘nominations’ coming up soon

y/n jokingly says they’re going to nominate yoongi bc of that one time he made tacos with dog food

and yoongi fires back w the time they managed to light the microwave on fire making cup o’ noodles

they agree to let each other live

…..for now

sike!

the two actually do end up nominating each other w/o the other knowing

y/n honestly just thought it would be funny if yoongi got picked and yoongi was like “fuck it why not”

little did they know…..

while the nomination guidelines assure that the selection process is completely random, this is a reality show

meaning for anyone w a brain that’s obviously not the case

contestants are actually chosen by the show’s assistant producers and approved by the chefs themselves and then the higher ups

but who are those assistant producers??

none other than park jimin and kim taehyung

neither of them keep their involvement with the show a secret, and one takes it a teensy bit more seriously than the other

anyway, they’re usually told to find a batch of contestants (that they feel) would conjure up the most drama for the show

it is tv, after all, and they have to keep people watching

and that part is crucial

to their credit, they do (somewhat) succeed for the most part

jimin selects yoongi and namjoon from the nomination pool bc he thinks joon’s clumsiness w yoongi’s nonchalant nature will work for max chaos

and taehyung chooses y/n and jungkook bc while their competitive drives are similar, y/n’s subdued nature has a big chance for conflict w jk’s out-there attitude

(how do they know all this? they’re experts at what they do leave me alone)

day ??? 2.0

y/n (and yoongi, secretly) is ecstatic when they get the emails/DM/whatever that they’ve been “chosen for the next hot season of worst chefs in seoul!”

but then yoongi asks if it’s allowed for them to know each other and accept the nomination

like they’re best friends. is that going to present some kinda problem that’ll get them both kicked off??

should only one of them accept it?

(he’s immediately ready to sacrifice his own nomination bc he knows how much y/n cares about this stupid show)

y/n says they’re not going to let him do that bc they were both chosen, meaning they both should get to go

but—

“it’s fine!! we can just pretend we don’t know each other when we’re on set!”

and so they’re off

to some undisclosed location in seoul

day 0

jimin and taehyung are the first to greet everyone, collecting all four contestants together for a tour of the dorms

and y/n starts texting yoongi in a panic bc both of their dumbasses forgot that the contestants are separated into teams as soon as they arrive

yoongi prolly says smth like i’m two feet away from you why are you texting me

(y/n reminds him they can’t make it seem like they know each other)

yoongi acts like it’s not that big of a deal

prolly says there’s a good chance they’ll end up on the same team

and if they don’t they can just hang out in the dorms when the cameras are off and away

which is when jimin loudly announces that this season, each team is getting their own dormitory

and that contestants will be required to stay in their dorm while filming the season, except for approved ‘outings’ for the show

he moves on before anyone can ask what that means

they’ll be allowed to pick whichever dorm they want to stay in for the first night, since they want to get the contestants’ reactions on camera when they reveal the teams

but after they’re revealed tomorrow, it’s your dorm and your dorm only

y/n and yoongi automatically gravitate towards each other

they end up together in the ‘new’ dorm, which yoongi grumpily notes is practically bigger than their whole apartment

y/n wonders if they ended up in seokjin’s dorm, and gets excited at the thought of this being a ‘test’ to see which chef’s team they’ll be on

to which yoongi asks what makes this dorm his?

“idk i just...feel his aura in here”

“.......okay, weirdo. i’m gonna go ‘feel his aura’ in the bathroom and take a—”

“yoongi!!”

y/n can either ask what yoongi thinks of the other contestants or they can both pretty much blow them off entirely for the time being

idk which yet

day 1

next morning, the contestants are woken up bright and early by none other than our favorite assistant producers

the wake up call comes in the form of a new group chat between the six of them

along with a link to ‘download’ the calendar for the shooting schedule

(which is really an app/virus that disables certain functions on their phones)

((such as most social media and texting numbers outside their ‘parameters’))

after that’s all hashed out, jm & t explain that this group chat is for any and all notifications and updates about the show, as well as any questions and/or concerns the contestants might have

like

“can i just vote to eliminate myself now and go home?” and

“how do i get this fucking thing off my phone” and

“when do we find out what team we’re on??”

the answers to which are

no

you’ll find out when filming is finished

and right now!

they tell the contestants to get up and get dressed as their first day on set officially starts now

y/n and kook immediately jump into action and leave the gc

joon lags behind a little confused but follows the flow

yoongi, ever the people person, gets aggressive when they don’t answer his questions about their goddamn malware

“is this even legal?? are you even fucking allowed to just disable our devices like this?”

“what if there’s an emergency??”

“looks like you’ll just have to find out, huh?”

yoongi’s phone then crashes and won’t let him unlock it until the first block of filming is finished

jm: “oops ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ”

day 1 recap

we find out through our superfan what happens during the first episode

(maybe do something like this person is some kinda press/‘news’ account dedicated entirely to w.c.i.s. and the two chefs)

((mayhaps they leak the contestant list before it goes public??))

((jimin and tae could have some kinda unspoken rivalry w them lol))

anyway the story is told through them in a series of twitter threads

(plus a few messages from y/n to yoongi freaking out about the teams they get put on)

first event of the day is: the team announcements

yoongi and joon end up on team kim seokjin and y/n is on team jyp w kook

being split up puts a bit of a damper on their plans, and with this stupid cell block they don’t know if they’ll even be allowed to talk to each other

none of them get much time to react, though, as they’re then shuffled off to their respective kitchens

where they finally meet their respective chefs

and, lo and behold, y/n is goddamn terrified

jinyoung is even scarier in person than he is on tv

“don’t laugh at me yoongi!! this is the guy who made a girl sob on live television!”

“and now ur gonna be the next person what’s the problem lmao”

while y/n tries to get past their fear, they’re given their first official task: work together with their new partner to create a meal of their choice

the catch is that they aren’t allowed any help from their chef yet

and since the teams were just announced literally like 10 minutes ago, none of them have had much of a chance to get to know each other

(the network knows this, and does this on purpose since most of the seasons’ first episodes are spent either arguing or being completely lost)

things go about as well (read: badly) as expected

y/n and kook soon discover their very conflicting personalities and spend the majority of the round bickering back and forth about what to make/how to do it

meanwhile yoongi slaps a piece of sliced cheese directly on the stove while joon runs around like a chicken w its head cut off

in the end, team jyp somehow manages to come out victorious

they cobble together some (semi) edible banana milkshakes to present to the judges

(‘together’ meaning y/n wanted to make plain vanilla milkshakes and kook switched it for banana milk when they weren’t looking)

yoongi and joon tried (keyword being tried) to make grilled cheese

but between yoongi’s cheese-to-stove method and joon dropping their two pieces of burnt toast right before the timer rang

they didn’t get many points

as their reward, team jyp has the honor of picking what they’ll be making tomorrow

they’re given the rest of the day to think and talk it over while team ksj is told to reflect on what went wrong in today’s trial

back at the dorms (now in their separate teams), y/n finds that yoongi finally graces them w a response

(and that they were right about which one was ‘seokjin’s’ dorm)

yoongi tells them about ‘that little shit’ locking him out of his phone and that he honestly just wants to get tf out of there contract or not

y/n convinces him to stay and stick it out, if not for them then for the prize money at the end

yoongi then asks what dish they’re going to pick for tomorrow, and asks if they can pick something he at least has an idea how to make

cue y/n saying that they were thinking of suggesting one of seokjin’s signature dishes but not knowing if kook would go along w the idea

“he kept trying to switch out our ingredients for banana milk and i don’t know how to tell him to knock that shit off”

“honestly you know i’m not one to take charge but he wasn’t even listening to me!! what’s to say he’s actually going to listen to the PROFESSIONAL chef here to help us??”

“aNd SPeAkINg oF THaT”

cue y/n whining about how they wanted to be on jin’s team and it’s not fair that they both got stuck w jinyoung AND a bratty kid on their team

yoongi sympathizes since he was looking forward to them being on the same team, but makes y/n agree that if he has to give the competition a chance then they have to give kook one too

“i mean yeah he seems like a bit of a dumbass but isn’t that why we’re all here? bc we have no fuckin clue what to do in the kitchen?”

hmm...fine they’ll give him a chance

but they still think he’s a lil shit and don’t really wanna talk to him at all, let alone reach some kinda compromise on what to make

they don’t get much or a choice, though, as they both receive a mysterious message from...jungkook? in another group chat?

the contestants find that they have all been manually added to another gc

except this one is missing the two assistant producers who love to breathe down their necks

everyone but jk is immediately suspicious

is this some of trick to get them to screw up?

to break some kinda hidden clause in the contract none of them actually read?

wasn’t that thing they downloaded supposed to block incoming messages like this?

“but wait, yoongi, then how were we able to…?”

but as of right now, they don’t get any answers

and they’re all too afraid to ask anyone but each other

“well we’re all here so...we might as well get to know each other right?? :D”

this is where we get our first in-depth look at the four people stuck on this show together, who in their lives nominated them and why

(y/n and yoongi’s lying skills are put to a bit of a test as they each rush to pull stories right out of their asses)

kook talks about bambam and says his nomination said smth about “adding banana milk to everything f*ckin thing he makes”

he doesn’t really get why that was enough to land him a spot on the show but he thought it would be pretty cool to be on tv and just went along with it

namjoon talks about hobi and emphasizes that he’s not that bad of a cook

he just gets nervous and confused when it comes to recipes and cooking which expresses itself in the form of his unabashed clumsiness

joon then asks if they’ll really be prevented from having any outside communication until filming is finished

he, like yoongi, questions the legality of deceitfully installing the block on their phones

y/n says there probably was some kind of hidden clause that allowed them to do that, as they “can’t imagine seokjin would take part in a competition that abuses its contestants”

to which joon replies that they don’t actually know seokjin so they can’t really ‘imagine’ anything about how he will or won’t act

right as yoongi is about to jump in and tell him to back off, jungkook decides that that’s way too much legal talk for him

he forces changes the subject back to the gc as a whole and says that even if they’re prevented from talking to their friends he’s happy they’ll “at least have each other :D”

y/n feels like part of that is directed at them and feels bad for how they thought he was ‘just a dumb kid’ before

namjoon, however, is still hesitant

he’s not sure if this chat could get them in trouble in regards to the show and their contract and what not and says that they all should probably delete it just to be safe

but that is unanimously vetoed by y/n and kook (and yoongi, reluctantly) and they decide that if the block allowed it to pass through then it must be allowed

before joon can argue anymore, they all receive a message from tae in the ‘official’ gc

he briefly explains the lights out policy of the dorms and tells them that they’re probably going to want a good night's sleep for their ‘big day’ tomorrow

yoongi then says smth like “well...guess that’s lights out then” and jk responds excited as ever w “night guys!! see you all in the morning! :)”

and y/n can feel their soul leaving their body for even thinking anything ill about him

day 2

contestants are woken up bright and early by alarms they didn’t set

(“oh great, so they just hijacked every app on our fucking phones then”

jimin tells them all to hurry up, get dressed, and meet the chauffeur outside bc they can’t afford to be late

(“literally! every second you waste is money docked from the network’s wallet! so get your asses in gear, guppies!”)

y/n and kook get outside first, but yoongi and joon are nowhere to be seen

y/n decides to text the q & a gc to get the dirt on seokjin

they kinda start sucking up to jimin and tae to see if they’ll reveal any info, particularly about what the chef is like and if it’s possible for him to talk to the ‘other’ team’s contestants

and while the producers are pleasantly surprised that one of the contestants actually want to use that gc for something other than yelling at them

they unfortunately can’t give much info besides what most people already know

and confirm that one of the chefs talking to the other’s students was probably not allowed, but that it’s also never really happened before so they’re not really sure lmao

(“taehyung!!” “what? was i not supposed to say that?”)

jimin cuts the conversation short there as yoongi and joon arrive and they all get on the shuttle for the set

taehyung does say one last thing tho

“good luck!! hopefully they don’t tear u up too bad!”

but first

our superfan gives us the downlow on the competition and how it works

after being split into teams, the contestants will rotate between ‘training’ w their chef and competing against each other in timed trial rounds

prizes can be won for both events, but the ones for the trial rounds are generally more competition based while the ones for the training rounds are more about luxury/quality of life while filming

each trial round win counts as a point towards the team’s score in the competition

only trial rounds affect this score

once a certain number of points has been reached (5), that team moves into the next phase of the competition

instead of working as a team, they are split up and now have to work against each other to win the favor of their chef

and in the finale, after one last big cookout competition, an individual winner is chosen and crowned a ‘former’ worst chef in seoul

once the contestants arrive on set, the chefs reiterate that today is just a training round

(they all let out a collective sigh of relief)

and it’s a good thing everyone woke up so early bc they’re just in time to learn how to make breakfast!!

“it’s not like we had much of a choice-oof.”

“anyway! team jyp, since you won the pretrial round yesterday, you get to decide what both teams will be learning how to make today. so, y/n, jungkook. think carefully. what do you want for breakfast?”

y/n is about to suggest seokjin’s signature strawberry and cream crepes when jungkook, who is still half asleep, blurts out “omelette”

(also i’ve decided that jackson is the host of the show now and i’m not changing my mind)

and it’s decided. they’re makin’ omelettes

(y/n is only a little bit peeved)

shuffled off to their separate kitchens, y/n is reminded of just how terrified they are of jinyoung

sure, they thought he was scary yesterday when they realized they were on his team, but now he has to actually teach them and they can’t help but think he’s going to make them into an idiot sandwich by the end of the day

as such, they try to keep half-asleep kook in between them and jinyoung at all costs, even if it meant running around the kitchen like a lost puppy

jinyoung, fully aware of how the show portrays him and how fans view him, notices this almost instantaneously

but he unfortunately doesn’t get to pull y/n aside to address it before jungkook starts digging through the fridge for banana milk and almost throws the entire carton of eggs on the floor

professional chef jyp mode: on

and they’re off

it’s a little difficult with y/n dancing around the kitchen anxiously and jungkook’s absolute aversion to being told what to do (as y/n predicted), but jinyoung manages to whip them into shape long enough to (barely) make a ham, cheese, and “green onion? wtf is that?” omelette

team seokjin, however, does not favor as well

yoongi apparently doesn’t know what tf a green onion is either and just throws in whatever green vegetable he can find while jin is struggling to keep namjoon from setting himself on fire

….and it turned out to be celery

that, plus joon somehow managing to burn the omelette to a crisp, costs them the training round

y/n and kook start to celebrate their victory and actually working as a team when jackson informs them that their ‘prize’ is they get to eat what they cooked while the other team gets whatever is left over on the catering table

“i hope you listened to your chef!”

“...jungkook, please tell me you used actual milk in this”

“um…”

back at the dorms, the contestants share their thoughts on their first day of training, as well as their first official day w their chefs

(also include y/n saying something about their banana milk omelettes actually not being half bad)

y/n immediately recalls how much they were terrified of jinyoung, almost cutting their finger off when he glanced over their shoulder when they were slicing the green onions

jk agrees, adding smth about how he didn’t think a scowl could ever be so intimidating

“it reminded me of my mom’s face when she found out i tried to pierce my own ears in the bathroom in middle school!! i was too afraid to push the needle all the way through and walked around with it in my ear all day until one of my teachers finally noticed and sent me to the office!”

...ok jungkook

during all of this, yoongi and joon are both like...wtf

“seokjin was literally nothing but nice to us. even when namjoon almost set his sleeve on fire lmao”

“hyung how did u manage that” “doesn’t matter”

jungkook thinks the difference in the chefs is hilarious, but y/n is only upsetti spaghetti

they go on a bit of a rant about how badly they wanted to be on jin’s team

saying something about how jinyoung is scary and mean and they’re almost positive he can sense their fear or something and probably use it against them while jin’s team would be so much better on the sole fact that they wouldn’t feel like he would turn them into an omelette for getting something wrong

cue jk being all babey asking “you...don’t wanna be on a team with me? :((“

and y/n immediately PANICS and tries to explain that NO, it’s not HIM but yoongi saves their ass by saying that seokjin is just their favorite and that’s all

jungkook feels better, but then namjoon is like “hol up. we all just met. how could you possibly know that?”

insert more y/n fumbling and jk confusion

yoongi (once again) covers w some bullshit story that he was able to just guess that based on what y/n’s said in the gc so far

joon wants to question it further, but jungkook informs them that the lights out call just came in before he can

another yoony/n sigh of relief

in private, y/n freaks out to yoongi for almost blowing their cover to the others

prompting a short conversation over whether they think they can trust them or not

y/n admits that they’re warming up to kook, but is a little suspicious if namjoon will keep their secret yet

convo ends with yoongi saying something like “well, the kid’s right about one thing. at least we know we have each other”

end.

[cialbi]

Boy with Hope: Lavender - Chapter Four

Summary: Severely depressed and addicted to alcohol, you had given up entirely on life. Your passion was gone, your friends had left you and you found yourself completely alone. As you closed your eyes for the last time, the smell of lavender wafted through your nose and a boy with purple wings appeared above you.

Genre: Angst, Romance, Fantasy

Pairings: Angel Hoseok x Reader

Warnings: Language, Depression, Alcoholism

⤎Previous

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The smell of citrus had you blinking your eyes open. It was a familiar smell, comforting. A scent you hadn’t smelled in a long time.

As your vision adjusted and your foggy head cleared, you noticed a display of stick-on stars plastered to the ceiling, glowing faintly against the autumn colored sunlight. You’d put them on almost every inch of your childhood bedroom when you were ten. Living in the city, stars were a rare sight, so you had concluded that this way, every night would be a starry one.

You sat up, knees hugged to your chest. A Disney princess blanket was draped over your lower half and ruffled pink pillows supported you comfortably as you leaned back against the headboard of your childhood bed. Looking around made you feel nostalgic, happy even. Seeing the array of stuffed animals that surrounded you and the zoetrope on your white wooden nightstand left a warm feeling in your gut. But something poked at your brain, telling you something was not right.

‘How did I get here?’ You wondered, though the thought felt distant, unimportant.

Before you could dwell on it, there was a knock at your door. “Y/N, can I come in?” That voice. You knew that voice.

“Yes, come in.” You said, almost automatically.

The door creaked open and the curly brown head of your mom poked in from behind. “Hi there sleepyhead, how are you feeling? I brought you some dinner.”

How were you feeling? “Um.. fine, I think?”

Your mom gave a soft laugh, entering your room with a tray of her special spaghetti and a tall glass of water. She placed the delicious smelling food on your nightstand before taking a seat beside you on the bed and reaching to place a hand on your forehead.

“Hmm… you’re still a little warm.” She confirmed. “Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”

Scrunching your brow, you tried to think about how you’re feeling, but all that comes up is a groggy mush and that irking in your tummy. An irking that this is an unusual situation and you’re not supposed to be here.

“Well…” You started. “I don’t feel sick.”

She smiled, her pale pink lipstick looking like a flower petal. “That’s good to hear. You really had us worried.”

Looking at your mom was surreal. It had been so long since you’d seen her face; her beautiful, soothing face that always put your mind at ease. On many occasions she’d been your support, held your hair back as you vomited from the overindulgence of alcohol. She’d scraped you off the steps of your house and helped you bathe away the sweat and barf in your hair. She had held you close as you cried from the pain of intoxication, and nursed you the next day with lots of water, alka seltzer and tums. She’d done so much for you, and in return all you did was fall deeper into the hole you were digging. And as you looked at every line of her face and her softly applied makeup, you couldn’t help but pull her into a hug.

“What’s this?” She giggled, hugging you back.

“Im sorry, mom.” You murmured, your voice muffled by her wool sweater.

“Oh, honey.” Ever so softly, she began to rub your back, something she did whenever you were distressed. It was soothing, familiar, and full of love. You couldn’t help but cry.

“I’m so sorry.” You blubbered, burying your face further into her shoulder.

“You should be.” The tone of her voice suddenly changed.

You blinked. ‘What?’  

That irking feeling began to scream as your mom’s grip tightened. The digging of her nails burned your flesh and had you yelp in pain.

“Mom what are you doing? Stop!” Wriggling, you tried to break free but she was too strong. When did she get that strong?

She laughed. Not the kind hearted laugh like before, but a morbid laugh that sent a chill down your spine. Nuzzling your neck, her lips ghosted your ear. “You’re a disappointment.”

Your eyes widened, tears spilling down your cheeks at the comment. Your mom had always expressed her concerns for you, her doubts and sadnesses, but she had never said anything so cruel before.

There was a tiny tickle on your cheek. With surprise, you used all your strength to pull yourself away from her chest only to see the woman you loved most crawling with cockroaches. Screaming, you scooched back against the wall and away from her. ‘Not this again. Please, not this again.’

Your mom didn’t move, sitting there with a deep frown on her lips. “How were we so unlucky to have a daughter like you?” She scowled.

Whimpering, you cried “Mom! I’m sorry!”

“You’re sorry? You’re always sorry, but you never change. You can never change!” She grabbed your shoulders, fingernails piercing your flesh. You shriek in agony. There was a chirping noise as the cockroaches began to flood the room and creep their way up onto your bed. You bit your lip, sobs leaking out of your mouth. Shaking you, your mom growled. “You’ll never change! You’ll never change!”

“I’m sorry… I’m sorry… I’m sorry…” You repeated.

The chirping noise grew louder as the roaches overtook your arms, little legs writhing like snakes against your skin. You screamed again, trying to free yourself from her death grip but failing miserably. As you struggled, your mom relinquished one hand, only  to grab your forehead in another strong hold. You gasped as she began to smash your head against the wall.

“Die!” She raged.

“Stop!” You cried. Your scalp became wet as  blood trickled down your neck. “Please stop mom!”

“Die already!” Her eyes flashed red, her flower petal lips pulled back in a horrifying snarl. “Just die! Just die!”

Just.

DIE!

Your eyes shot open, the sight of your ceiling fan welcomed you with gentle blows of cool air. ‘Ugh. Just a dream.’ You groaned aloud and flopped your arms across your face in exhaustion.

“So, Sleeping Beauty finally wakes.”

You sat up abruptly to see the black-haired man from the hallway sitting in your desk chair with his legs apart and hands folded neatly in his lap. There’s a clear smirk on his striking face as he eyed you in amusement.

“You… what the fuck are you--” The throbbing in your head cut you off. You put a hand to your forehead and breathed deeply, sweat soaking through your shirt.

“I take it you didn’t sleep well?” He quipped, the look on his face made you want to smack him.

Ignoring him, you rubbed your temples and swallowed thickly. Your mouth was dry and there was an irrevocable thirst that itched in your throat.“Wh-um--what the hell happened?”

He adjusted himself, leaning back against the chair and crossed his arms over his chest before extending a ringed finger to point at your bedside table. “Water’s over there.”

You looked to where he pointed, and sure enough there was a tall glass of water and two tablets of Advil just beckoning for you to claim them. Your muscles groaned as you reached for them, swallowing the tablets first and then finishing it off with desperate gulps of water. When you finished, you placed the empty glass back on the table and wiped at your lips.

The dark-haired man raised an eyebrow at your eagerness. “Better?”

You coughed, choking a little on some spit. “Um.. yeah. Thanks.”

His pretty lips tugged into a sneer, a suitable expression for his intimidating appearance. “Don’t thank me.”

An awkward silence flew between you two. You looked at your hands and pinched at your wrist, not daring to meet the scary angel-man’s boring stare. At least you assumed he was an angel too, since he seemed to be Hoseok’s friend. And he had one of those silver crosses. But you would not at all be surprised if he turned out to be the devil's incarnate.

“So.” His voice broke the silence, startling you to look up at him. His chin was angled so that his lashes cascaded a shadow down his cheekbone, making him look even more beautiful and even more frightening. “What do you remember?”

You took a moment to collect your thoughts. Your head was fuzzy, but you could faintly remember running barefoot like a maniac all the way to Martin’s Liquor. “Did I…?

“Drink?” He snorted, leaning forward to rest his chin on top of his folded hands. “No. But you did cause one hell of a shitstorm princess.”

You furrowed your brows quizzically. “What do you mean?”

The dark-haired man cracked a smile. Not a cheerful, warm and fuzzy smile like Hoseoks. The kind that makes you feel like the whole world is in on a joke about you. “Went absolutely bananas. Destroyed half a liquor store. Almost killed a guy. Any of that ring a bell?”

Your eyes widened and before you knew what you were saying, the words started to tumble out. “That wasn’t my fault! I was being attacked. They were everywhere, those… those…” You gasped, finally remembering everything. “Cockroaches.” Shifting your position, you were now completely facing him, eyes almost pleading. “You have to believe me. They were there. It wasn’t a hallucination, I swear.”

“Oh I believe you, sweetheart.” He licked his lips, eyes rolling to look at the ceiling in a bored sort of interest.

“You.. you do?” You leaned forward eagerly.

The angel brought his head back down to level with yours. His expression was unreadable. “I believe you thought they were there.”

Your jaw clenched. “So you think I’m crazy.”

“I don’t think you’re sane.” He said matter of factly.

On top of being terrifying, this guy was a colossal jerk. Tears started to well in your eyes. You felt frustrated. You knew what you saw. But none of the other store clerks had seen it. Could you really be crazy? After everything you put yourself through, have you officially snapped? You were obviously seeing things that no one else could see. You trashed a store and, like the angel said, nearly killed a guy. The friendly, freckled face of the store clerk, soaked in blood flashed through your mind. A deep pang of guilt stabbed through your heart.

“That guy… is he ok?” The shame made you stare at the floor as you begged the question.

The dark-haired man sighed. “He’s fine. Hoseok took care of everything.” The dubious look you shot him made him sigh again. “With magic. He took away their memory and healed that guy you shoved. You don’t have to worry about a lawsuit anymore. All they’ll think is that the store was trashed by a crazy robber, or something like that.”

“Oh…” Was all you could say in response.

“That’s it?” He raised a brow. “No questions?”

You shook your head.

You should be asking more questions. This whole thing was utterly perplexing. Magic? Erasing memories? You knew about the healing, but it still caught you off guard. You should be freaking out, or running out the door again. But you had no energy left and you felt like you were going crazy. So you slumped back against the wall and allowed more tears to fall.

“Oh god. I’m completely insane.” You whimpered, lip quivering.

The dark-haired man fished out a pack of cigarettes followed by a silver lighter. He stuck the cancer stick between his lips and lit it, taking a long drag and exhaling deeply. “Yeah. Maybe.”

“Ok that’s enough.” A stern voice called.

Hoseok appeared from behind your kitchen door. He was holding a plate of steaming food and a glass of orange juice. His eyes were fixed with a warning stare which he directed towards his stoic friend. With a tut, he made his way over to your bedside and placed the food in your lap and the OJ in your hands. You sniffed, wiping away the tear stains and taking a little sip.

“Yoongi-hyung.” His voice softened but remained firm. “You can’t say things like that to her.” He turned his attention back to you. “Don’t mind him, love. He’s an incurable asshole.” You heard a grunt of disapproval. “Here, eat something. You must be starving.”

It felt like a millennia since you last ate, but as you looked down at the nicely prepared pancakes, you couldn’t find it in yourself to eat. Instead, you avert your eyes to the two men who are now seated side by side, with Hoseok seated criss-crossed on the floor and Yoongi still comfortably reclined in your desk chair.

They both stared at you in intense silence, as if you’d explode if one of them dared to move. You looked once more at the food, then back at them. A new found frustration boiled in your veins. How in the hell did they expect you to eat now? The entire situation was bananas, you felt bananas. And despite your exhaustion, you now had questions and a burning desire for some sort of emotional release.

“I’m sorry.” You started. Biting back the hostility in your voice, you slid the food off your lap and placed the OJ on your nightstand. “You have to forgive me. It’s been--well it’s been quite the day. First, some strange man breaks into my apartment, claiming to be an angell and heals me with his bare hands. And then, would you know it, sprouts enormous purple wings. Ok yeah, that’s weird. But then his moody, outcast-wannabe friend appears out of nowhere, tries to grab me--”

“Moody outcast? Is that me?”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m the strange man with purple wings.”

“--and basically calls me crazy.” You continued, throwing them a ‘shut-up and don’t interrupt me' glare. “I see hundreds--no thousands--of disgusting mother-fucking cockroaches trying to flipping eat me, but no one else seems to see that. Instead I’m just this batshit-bonker balls lady who almost killed a guy and probably backrupted an entire store. Than this brooding asshole--”

“Yoongi.”

“--I don’t care. Tells me you--” You throw your arms up at Hoseok. “--apparently erased their memories, and used your magic-hands to heal that poor guy, which still sounds ridiculous. So please. Forgive me for asking. But just what in God’s fucking name is going on here and should I check myself for a psych-eval now or just wait until I actually kill someone. Because honestly, I still have no fucking idea if this is all in my head, or am I really--am I really standing here, venting my life problems to two of the lords chosen ones who have been the entire center of this loony-tunes day.” You take a deep breath, regaining all the lost oxygen you have just spent on your tirade, and turn to face the dumbfounded expressions of angel-dee and angel-dumb. “So now, I’m going to be quiet, and hope that for heaven’s sake, one of you will explain.”

“Uh…” Yoongi was the first to speak up. Not breaking eye contact with you, the dark-haired angel slapped a hand across Hoseok’s shoulder. “Wow man. Good luck with this one.”

Hoseok blinked in disbelief, like he doesn’t know where to begin. “Uhm… demons.”

Now it’s your turn to blink in disbelief. “Guzuntight?”

Blinking a few more times, Hoseok seemed to regain his composure. “Yes. Those were demons.”

“I’m sorry, demons? I thought you guys were angels.” You narrowed your eyes at Yoongi. “Except maybe this one.”

Yoongi returned your glare with sparks flying between you two. “He means the cockroaches.” He explained, sliding back into his collected demeanor.

“Wait.” You wiggled a finger next to your head as if the motion could somehow translate english to english. “The cockroaches… are… demons? Demons?”

Hoseok cleared his throat, preparing for a long explanation. “Yes. Well… sort of.” The ‘I-do-not-follow’ look on your face urged him to continue. “Let me put it this way.” He stood and held out a hand, palm facing up. A single glowing orb generated from his hand and hovered inches in the air. You gasped, because despite everything you’d seen today, you were still not used to this who magic-thing. “Every human has a soul. Bright, hopeful, full of light.” He said. “But when that soul is shrouded in darkness, it invites demons to come and manipulate that soul until there is no light left.” As he said this, the orb’s glow gradually dimmed until it was completely gone.”Our job as angels is to protect these particular souls and help them to find their light again, so that it doesn't disappear and leave the human empty.”  

You nod. This all sounds completely bonker-balls, and you’re not entirely following, but you decide to probe further. “So… those cockroaches were demons… coming after my… my soul?”

Hoseok grinned, squinty eyes twinkling as you were finally putting it together. “Yes!”

Demons coming after your soul. Not the most illogical thing you’ve heard today. “Ok, but wait. Why haven’t I seen them before?”

There was a pause. Hoseok’s eye-smile dropping, lips dipping into a said frown. “You tried to kill yourself.”  At the same time, all three of you lowered your gazes to the floor. Another moment of silence passed before Hoseok continued. “That’s when the soul is almost completely consumed by the darkness.”

You bit your lip. “So then I’m…”

“No! Don’t worry. Before I could let that happen to you, I brought you back.” The orange-haired angel assured you. “It’s just now… everytime you reach out for that darkness… it’s like a perfume for demons. They’re attracted to that scent of humans giving into their… well… personal demons. They take on your worst fear and use that fear to devour you. Your soul is still so sunk in black that even the slightest relapse will send them on your tail.”

You sighed, rubbing your temples. “Could you say that in a way I can understand?”

“You drink, you’re demon food.” Yoongi chimed in.

Hoseok’s eyes rolled to the ceiling as he breathed through his nose. “As a manner of speaking.”

You laughed bitterly. “Great.” The one thing your body desperately wants and you couldn’t have it. Because if you do, your soul turns completely black and demons get to eat your innards like spaghetti.

“Think of it like a cockblock. Don’t drink and the demons won’t bother you. Simple.” Yoongi affirmed, giving you a solid thumbs up which made you groan. Hoseok was right. Incurable asshole.

“Well no. It’s not that simple.” Hoseok smacked his friend’s leg. “We need to find a way to bring back that light in your life. And until then, I’m here to stay.

You frowned. You almost thought it was better when he was just a psycho on the loose. Because having a legitimate messenger of God all up in your business was way too much pressure. And to be frank, kind of scary. “And for how long?”

Hoseok scuttled over to take a seat next to you. “See this?” He tugged at the cross around his neck and presented it to your line of vision. He tapped softly next to an onyx jewel embedded in the middle. His gorgeous face beamed with excitement. “This is your soul… well a representation of it. When this completely turns white, then I’ve completed my mission and I’m out of your hair. I swear.”

Looking over to Yoongi, you eyed his necklace which also had an onyx jewel in the center of his cross. The dark-haired angel followed your gaze and looked down too. Then suddenly he stood up.

“And with that, I’m outta here.” He said plainly. “Got my own business to attend to.”

“Still haven't found her, hyung?” Hoseok asked his friend.

Yoongi sighed, a ghost of a sad smile on his lips, which surprised you to see any sort of emotion from him. “She’s a tough one to find.”

Before you could ask what they’re talking about, Yoongi made his way to your window, opening the latch and raising the pane all the way up. He perched like a hawk about to take off, the glowing autumn light casting a lovely glow against his porcelain skin.

“Hey!” You yelled, jumping to your feet but not daring to move.

“Don’t worry princess. They may not be purple, but they’re just as big and just as strong.” He said, sending you a little wink.

Your mouth opened and closed, wondering what he meant until two huge black wings burst from his back. They beat a couple of times to adjust themselves, sending a soft current of wind against your face.

“Oh my God.” You whispered, just loud enough for him to hear.

Yoongi chuckled melodically, a beautiful sound you never thought his snarky lips could make. “Not quite.”

“Let me know when you find her, hyung!” Hoseok shouted after the dark-haired man as he leapt from the window and disappeared from sight.

Your head began to spin as yet another unbelievable thing just happened today. As you sat back down on your bed, you turned to look at Hoseok, trying to find any words. But all that could come out was, “Can’t you guys just use the friggin’ door?”

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A/N 

Again, pretty much unedited. Will go back later to edit. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! 

Cial

[londonsquitebiggg]

THE ONE - Part One

^^^ this is the town in which my story is based^^^

Krista's Pov,

*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*

"mmmmhhhmmmmm" I groan rolling over to turn off the horrid sound that is my alarm.

Today was the first day back at school after a very long summer break! I'm not excited to go back to campus today but I can't wait to see Sam, we have been the best of friends since we were born.

I start my day off with my normal routine, I wake up, reluctantly got out of my warm bed and walk into my in suite bathroom. I plugged my IPhone into my Ihome port and put my music on shuffle as I hopped into the shower. After I washed my hair with my strawberries and cream shampoo and conditioner, and washed my body with my strawberry body wash (Okay so I love the scent of strawberry don't judge me!). I washed the soapy suds off my body and shut off the water. I dried myself off with my big fluffy towel.

As I walked out of the bathroom and headed to my walk in closet trying to figure out what to wear today, I peaked out of my window to see what the weather was like, it was the same as always, hot and sunny! I decided on a tealy greenish cropped tank top, some ripped skinny jeans, and some white lace toms.

After I'm dressed I walk over to my vanity and plugged in my straightener to try and tame my mess of hair. While waiting for it to heat up I did my make-up which consisted of some concealer to mask my dark circles, a bit of powder to make my face look less oily,  some mascara, a little bit of blush, of course I did my eyebrows, and put on my chap stick. I'm not a huge fan of make up mainly because I honestly don't know how to do it but I also am too insecure to not where any at all so I do what I can.

Once deciding that this was as good as it was going to get I  ran my straightener through my hair till it was less of a mess and more of a wavy look. I walked to my bathroom to brush my teeth, and put on perfume and deodorant so I wouldn't smell ,  I pinned my hair back so I was out of my face and put a hair band on my wrist in case I needed to put it up later in the day. I grabbed my phone and backpack and headed downstairs to get some breakfast.

I guess it's about time that I introduced myself, my name is Krista Mayfield, I live in High Water, North Carolina, I'm currently 17 but my birthday is just three short days way. I am a Sophomore in college, I know that I'm technically "too young" but I worked my booty off and graduated high school early so it works. I still live at home with my family, we have our own house cause my Father is the Alpha of our pack.

Yes. I know what your thinking and it's true, I'm a werewolf. Well I will be you see, I'm 17 still and I haven't shifted yet so I don't have my wolf yet. That will all change soon though, just three days and I will shift and I'll be able to start looking for my mate.

"Krista get your breakfast before your father eats it all!" I heard my mom call me and walk into the kitchen, I grab some toast and a banana not feeling all that hungry and also running late to meet Sam at the school.

I kissed my mom on the cheek "Morning mom! I have to get to school early to meet Sam, I love you! Bye" I rushed as I grabbed my keys off the hook, almost out the door when my Father's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Krista, there are some new wolves that are on our territory looking for their mates, they'll be attending your school so if you see them be nice please? I don't want them to feel unwelcome, they are from a neighboring pack and their families are old friends" I nod my head in response kiss my dad on the cheek, and rush off to school.

After a thirty minute drive I pull up to school and jump out, I saw Sam and I screamed as we ran to each other we crashed into a big bear hug, (yes we are those friends).

"Oh my gosh I missed you so much!" She said and we broke the hug. "I know I don't know how I survived without you!" Man was that the truth.

We saw each other over break, of course. Spent lots of time at the beach and just hanging out in general, I mean we practically lived at each others houses! However Sam's birthday was a month and a half ago, so she had to start her training and also her family went on a vacation for like three weeks so I haven't seen her as much as usual as of late.

We were out front of the English department when the we realized the time. We walked to our first lecture of the day and picked out our seats and put our stuff down, I went over to Sam and started to talk about her trip before the teacher got there, I wanted to know everything.

During the conversation I heard the door open but was too involved in my conversation with Sam and some of our other friends that had joined upon their arrival. Sam stopped talking and focused on something behind me, she was staring wide eyed, I wanted to know what had her so distracted. I turned around and there was four cute boys, well three cute boys and one extremely hot one, he had brown hair styled in this messy, effortless pushed back style, he was wearing all black and from the looks of his arms he had A LOT of tattoos... he is SO hot! I was basically drooling at how absolutely stunning the god like man.When suddenly I remembered that my birthday is in a couple of days and I will be able to find my mate and I know for a fact that the moon goddess would never me with someone as hot as him no matter how much I have prayed for basically a mate just like him I knew he was just too far out of my league. Plus he definitely is one of the wolves looking for his mate, not to mention that he's probably a lot older then me he has to be at least 25-26, I mean age doesn't really matter when mates and werewolves are involved but I could practically feel the power radiating off of him and I didn't even have my wolf yet! there is no way that I would be paired with such a strong Alpha!

Harry's Pov,

I'm not going to go into detail about my morning mainly because its not very interesting, I got up, got dressed, and drove to the new school I'm attending while one the BloodMoon Packs territory. Alpha Mayfield told me that a lot of the wolves from his pack go to this school which I could tell by the smell but I could also smell some humans, So it's a mixed school which is common considering it's a big city and it's not just a werewolf community.

I'm Harry, I'm here in High Water to try to find my mate, I'm 26 years old so I'm starting to get concerned that I don't have one. Which would be bloody terrible if you ask me but if that's what the Moon Goddess has planned for me then I guess I don't have much of a choice, but that sure as hell isn't going to stop me from looking for her.

I grew up in Holmes Chapel, Cheshire. You guessed it, I'm British. My family moved to the states when I was 16 after our Pack was attacked, my father was lost that night, my mother was lucky enough to be blessed with her second chance mate, Robin when we moved here. He was an Alpha of one of the biggest packs in America. My sister Gemma she found her mate last year, He took over Robins stop as Alpha and Gemma is now our Luna, I'm be an Alpha but I lost that opportunity from not having a mate yet. It didn't really bother me, I would be the Beta of our pack unless I don't find my mate, or unless she is to become the Luna of a pack, making me her Alpha... If she accepts me that is.

"Harry! my main man, nice of you to finally show up" one of my best mates Louis said knocking me out of my thoughts as I walked up to our group.

"Yeah, I figured if I'm here to find my mate I should get out of the house and start looking around shouldn't I?" I jokingly replied.

As he was about to say some smartass response when we noticed everyone rushing inside and we figured it was time to head to class, we didn't want to be late to class on our first day, well we didn't care about being late to class we just didn't want to miss an opportunity to find our mates. We were all just leisurely walking a when I suddenly got wind of this amazing, intoxicating, overwhelming, and addicting smell of Lavender, Cedar wood, and what I could only describe as sugar, my wolf Marcus was howling with glee, he kept chanting

"Mate, Mate, go to mate"

Over and over again, I started walking a little bit faster towards following her smell which lucky for me lead right to my first lecture I was so lost in her sweet smell, I could barely see straight. I opened the door and almost fainted at sight of my gorgeous mate. She was tall and tan, she had perfect long blond hair that was pulled back away from her face in a natural wavy style, She had the most stunning face that I had ever seen, she had very little make-up on which worked because she didn't need any she was so gorgeous, she was wearing very skinny ripped jeans that hugged her in all the right places and a green crop top that showed her skin which made me mad because I didn't want anyone else seeing what was mine!

I pulled my bottom lip between my teeth when I caught her checking me out, wondering if she was think about me in the same manner that I was thinking about her. Shit, it's taking every ounce of self control I have to not rush at her and claim her right here right now!

But just the she realized something and turned around, which made Marcus whimper because that means she didn't recognize me as her mate, or she did and didn't want me. I couldn't help the longing to walk up to her and say hello, to tell her how beautiful she was, how much I wanted her, how much I loved her eyes. So that is exactly what I did. I walked my way over to her and tapped on her shoulder.

"Hey, my names Harry, It's nice to meet you." I introduced myself to her once she turned around.

"Hi, I'm Krista, I don't mean to sound rude so if it comes across that way I'm sorry. But why are you talking to me? I mean your so hot and so much older then me...I.. uhhh.. umm I mean your like older and you don't want to embarrass yourself on the first day here talking to the awkward nerd when you could get in with the top of the food chain so easily with your looks.. I mean age...  I mean I'm, I'm going to shut up now " My little mate was rambling with nerves, making me chuckle at how adorable she looked all flustered, not to mention that she called me hot, but I didn't like the fact that she thought that she was embarrassing, a nerd, or saying that I was so old, Kind of hurt the ego a bit... I guess her hot comment could make up for that.

"What are you talking about? I'm only twenty-six??". I asked her confused.

"Yeah and I'm only sevente.." before she could finish her friend cut her off.

"Oh come on Krista you know your turning eighteen in like three days." my cute little mate was blushing at the reveal of her birthday being so close, especially it being such an important one.

It all made so much sense to me now, she wasn't rejecting me, she didn't recognize me as her mate because she hasn't shifted or got her wolf yet. Without her wolf senses she wouldn't be able to identify my smell, or feel our mate pull as intense, she would still feel it but she wouldn't be able to understand why she is feeling things towards me.

"Oh well, don't worry I just wanted to introduce myself to such a gorgeous girl as yourself, I'll see you around love" as I was walking away I winked at her and she blushed, bloody hell she looks so innocent when she blushes. It makes me want to do very unholy things to her! Which is okay because I am her mate but if anyone else was thinking these things about it I would rip their throat out.

I turn my head back as I walk back to the guys, because and can't stand not looking at her for longer than three seconds and I see her looking at me a bit flustered, her breathing is labored and her cheeks are tinted the most beautiful shade of pink. It's good to know that my words had there intended effect on her, 1 point Harry.

Krista's Pov

I can't believe that he just freakin' talked to me!!! Like the hottest guy that I have ever seen in my life just came and talked to me, he literally just called me love! Let's not  forget he called me gorgeous!! I think something is wrong with his eyes I mean has he seen me? I mean don't get me wrong I know I'm not ugly, I just don't think that I am pretty enough for the literal hottest guy to say I'm gorgeous!!!

Also how sweet is he to talk to me and not even care about my nerdy status! I mean the wolves here wouldn't dare disrespect me like that but the other students here find every excuse they can to pick on my age and my grades.. which doesn't make sense to me? like you come to college because you want to learn stuff so you can get a good job.. why would you want to have bad grades????

"what the heck just happened???" Sam said pulling me out of my thoughts.

"I have no stinkin' idea! like did you see that man? like holy smokes he is good looking" I said fanning myself trying to cool down, feeling like the temperature has risen like 20 degrees in here since him and his friends walked in.

"And let's not forget that incredibly sexy British accent!!" One of my best friends Ashlyn said. No matter how much I agree with that statement, it was makes me feel super annoyed that she just called him sexy, why am I feeling this way? Normally I would be blushing at her use of the word "sexy" but no I'm fuming with anger at the thought of someone else finding him attractive!

"Get a grip woman! You have no claim over him!" my subconscious screams at me. As much as this irritates me I know she is right. He isn't my mate and I don't have any sort of claim on him... he isn't mine.

"Do you think he is one of the wolves that's here looking for his mate?" Ashlyn questioned.

"I would assume so. I've never seen any of them before, heck I didn't even know we had wolves coming on our territory until my dad said something this morning. Why do you ask?" Was my reply to her, irritated that she was intrigued with him.

" Well I'm just wondering why he came over and was talking to you of all people".....OUCH! that was kind of harsh. I mean I'm as surprised as anyone that he was talking to me. I know that I'm not the prettiest girl around but I wouldn't expect one of my best friends to be so shocked that I could actually attract male attention.

As if sensing what I was thinking, probably because I wear my feelings on my face, she jumped into action to dig herself out of this hole.

"I didn't mean it in the way that you are thinking!! I just meant that his whole purpose here in High Water is to find his mate, so by him coming and talking to the most literally prettiest girl in school, I assume that means that he hasn't found his mate yet which means that talking to you could come across as him being a guy who doesn't put his mate first and flirts with other girls before he finds her... or he found her and he's a huge player..." Ashlyn nervously rambled, making some really good points.

" I don't know Ash, maybe we should consider the fact that maybe Krista is his mate??" Sam cut in. Both mine and Ash's heads snapped towards her staring in shock and confusion.

"I mean, she doesn't have her wolf yet so she wouldn't have been able to sense if she was. But he doesn't come off as the kind of guy to cheat on his mate, and he's twenty-six. Don't you think he is a little too old and mature to be flirting with girls that aren't his mate?" She said trying to explain her logic.

" I mean, yeah but like me? And him? I mean that's funny Sam I don't think the Moon Goddess would do him that disservice. I mean he is way out of my league! We aren't even playing the same game that's how far out of my league he is." Was my response to her outrageous theory.

"oh don't start this crap again! Krista you are the most gorgeous girl in the whole world! As much as you don't believe it, Sam's right. I mean his whole purpose of coming her is to find her, why would he jeopardize that by making her insecure and jealous of you?" Said Ash, They hate it when I talk bad about myself.

"And don't bring the Moon Goddess into this! You know just as much of the rest of us that, looks, age , and status have nothing to do with who she pairs you with! All that matters is that your mate is your other half. They complete you! Heck, your probably the best mate that guy could get!" Sam said being the best friend ever and boosting my confidence up a little.

I looked over my shoulder behind me at him, my mind jumbled with the possibilities of me and him being mates. As if sensing me staring his head turned at that exact moment. Gorgeous green eyes locked with mine, a stupidly attractive smirk on his face. It was that moment when Professor O'Neil walked in telling us to find our seats so we could start. It was like he knew how he was affecting me, my breathing labored, my cheeks flushed, and my heart pounding.

I couldn't tare my eyes away, he chuckled as he winked at me and faced the front to pay attention to what our Professor was saying. I rushed to my seat, trying to calm myself down and control my breathing. Trying to pay attention to my English lecture, but was struggling because my mind kept floating back to what Sam said.. could I really be his mate? Maybe.. but if I truly was, why didn't he say anything?

[prettywordsyouleft]

Out Of The Storm

Pairing: Brian Kang x reader

Genre: friends to lovers au / suggestive

Warnings: intimacy, though not detailed

Word Count: 1958

You weren’t that skilled in the kitchen, but whenever you were frustrated or upset, nothing seemed to calm you down more than baking did. You didn’t know exactly what about baking helped you feel more in control. It was just something you did now, after a moment in life where you chose to make yourself some chocolate chip cookies instead of lay in bed and cry over your heartache. It had become an engrained tool, a final call for clarity from your otherwise frazzled mind.

However, not even the banana cake you had just freshly pulled out of the oven made up for how lost you felt tonight.

It was all piling up, one thing after the other. A succession of annoying problems that built enough to send you out into troubled waters. As you attempted to deal with one issue, the next came, exhausting your fight, washing you out into depressive depths.

You knew there was only one person who could help you now.

Brian could see the sadness in your eyes despite the way you thrust the banana cake you gripped within your hands forward and the bright smile that accompanied the action. Leaning into the front door that he had just opened, you took it as a sign to step inside. It was when you passed him that he noticed how full your bag appeared over your shoulder. “Oh good, you're home! I know I should have rung first but-”

You stopped when you noticed his company, blinking rapidly after letting the plate within your hands settle onto the countertop a little more hastily than you expected. It unsettled you and you stepped back. “Ah, I am sorry! I didn't expect to uh-- I'll go!”

Before he could even breathe a word in protest, let alone close the door, you whizzed on by, hurrying down the hallway of the apartment building to the elevator. With a short curse, Brian shut his door and went after you, grabbing you from behind and pulling you back into him.

He could tell you were already crying with the way your body shook within his grasp. “Why are you leaving?”

“Bella is over at yours. You should go back to whatever you were doing. I'm sorry I interrupted.”

He attempted to chuckle because you had jumped to the wrong conclusion. Still, it sounded weak because Brian was worried about you. He knew you too well by your evident distress that you hadn't turned up on his doorstep tonight just to offer him some baked goods. “Yeah, only for work. We have our marketing proposal to turn in by Monday morning. You know that.”

“Does she know that?” you asked, leaning into his embrace. You were exhausted and Brian frowned, growing desperate to know what had happened to you.

“Do you need a place to stay?” he asked and you slumped further, lowering your head. “You aren’t interrupting anything. You can stay.”

“You do know Bella…” You sighed heavily, shaking your head lightly as if you decided not to continue the thought. You were weak and without any verbal agreement, you allowed him to slip an arm around your waist firmly as he turned you, taking you back to his apartment.

Bella looked up upon your return and forcibly smiled. “Oh, you're back... both of you.”

Brian sensed your immediate decision to depart again and gripped your side as he led you towards his bedroom. “Y/N just needs to rest up. We can keep working on our proposal in a moment, Bella.”

You stared at him quietly as he helped you into his bedroom, clicking the door shut gently behind you both. He was unnerved, mostly because he hadn't expected your company today. Brian didn't mind, frankly he would happily have you over any time you wanted to. However, your silence only meant the thoughts you were having you weren't comfortable in sharing with him yet. And it made him anxious to know why.

Brian smiled as he pulled back the covers to his bed. “You look like you could do with laying down.”

“Mm. You're right.”

“I won't be long, just rest a little and when I am done with working, we can hang out then.” Brian's forehead creased with concern. “Have you had dinner yet?”

“It's fine, I'm not really hungry. You better get back out to Bella.”

He didn't want to leave you, sensing some level of jealousy from you in the way you instructed his departure from your side. Brian could tell you wanted him right now. Yet he couldn't decipher if it was the same way he wanted you. He let out a small breath as he nodded, and leant in to press his lips to your forehead briefly. “Rest, please.”

It took him a little over an hour to wrap everything up with Bella and their project. His mind was distracted, in which he apologised for multiple times, each sorry subduing Bella further. Brian didn't quite have the energy to discern himself over why, and when he said goodnight to her and shut the door, he was relieved. Leaning against it for all of a moment to gather himself, Brian hurried over to his kitchen, wondering what he could throw together to make for you to eat. He faltered, deciding it would be better to ask you first before cooking again. He had already eaten with Bella, but the nerves in his stomach had dispelled some of his energy. He knew he could eat again if you were hungry too.

Heading over to the bedroom, he slipped inside, finding you asleep in his bed. Smiling softly, he walked over to the side of the bed you were gently gripping onto, nestled into his pillow and breathing evenly. You looked more at peace than you had when he first saw you and it made his smile broaden, crouching down in front of you so he could get a better look.

Brian didn't know when the change had happened for him. You had been friends for five years now, meeting through mutual circles. Over the last two years though, you had grown closer. It wasn't uncommon for you to come over in the weekends like this, bringing food and playful company. You would watch movies, laugh and play until someone ended up falling asleep on the other. Your connection felt natural to Brian. However, no true distinction had come from your closeness and he was certain you saw him nothing more than a close, reliable friend.

He let out a dejected breath with this thought, wondering why he was so hesitant to tell you he wanted more. He yearned to take the next step with you, something he normally had no qualms in telling someone when he liked them.

Brian was certain he was in love with you. Maybe that was why he didn't boldly make a move, worried he'd lose you if he did.

He didn't notice you had opened your eyes at first, too busy dispelling his feelings back to where they had risen from. He blinked, finding you staring up at him as if the whole world was before you. He fell captive in your gaze, soaking you in as he had been, more overwhelmed with you doing it right back. He noticed your hand was now tightly gripping onto the side of his mattress, anchored there so you wouldn't float away from him.

Not that he would let you. He couldn't let you stray from his side.

“Are you going to do it finally?” you whispered and for a second he frowned, not understanding immediately what you meant. And then clarity arrived, your gaze urging him closer, his mouth crashing down upon yours. The surge of emotions was strong, and despite how fragile you looked earlier, there was an equal amount of passion that washed over him from you. Hands moved towards the other as lips and minds further entangled, embracing, exploring. As the lustful waves pushed and pulled, so did you, drawing him up and onto the bed, rolling together and trying to find a way to ride through the sudden outburst. It was like a storm, dragging you both out farther from the shore and into the depths you had both so longingly wished to dive into. Mouths separated only for gasps of air or the removal of clothing, the heat now too unfathomable to have so many layers on.

The exploration of one another carried through until the storm broke in the middle of the night, your cry of euphoria echoing around the walls and then all was still. Brian went to go grab something to clean you up but your hand reached out, stopping him. Although he had been taking you in all night long, drinking all of your body down like a man at the brink of dehydration, it felt different when he looked back at you. Your hair was dishevelled, eyes sparkling with a light unlike any other he had seen. You were exhausted despite smiling at him and he couldn't help himself from leaning over to kiss you again.

And again, and again, addicted to the taste and the fit of your lips against his. You let out a breathy chuckle. “Haven't you had enough?”

“No,” he told you, delighted to see your smile widen further. “I don't think I ever will.”

Caressing his cheek, you giggled once more. “I didn't expect this when I came over tonight.”

“Nor did I but I don't regret it, do you?”

“The only thing I regret is letting it take so long. Making love with you-”

Brian couldn't help but cut you off then, overwhelmed by the description you gave to what happened under and on top of the sheets tonight. His heart soared, racing against yours as he stole your breath for the umpteenth time. And then he rested his forehead against yours as he caught his breath, closing his eyes and smiling giddily. “You love me?”

“Surely after all that...” you trailed off and he opened his eyes to find you turning shy. He grinned, trying to catch his heart before it leapt out of his chest and into yours. You then gave him a pointed look. “Of course I love you. Why do you think I was upset to find Bella here? Everyone knows she has a crush on you.”

Brian continued to grin. “Does she?”

“Don't tell me you didn't know!”

“I don't care if she does or not,” he answered, pecking your swollen lips and chuckling at how your annoyance seeped away with it. “I've been in love with you for so long; I didn't bother to see what others thought of me.”

You smiled with satisfaction, your hands running over his back gently. “I'm glad I chose to stay.”

“Chose?” Brian shook his head against yours gently. “Like I was going to let you leave looking like that. Wait, I don't even know why you were so upset when you arrived. Is everything okay?”

You nodded, burying into Brian, breathing him in before pressing your lips to his neck softly. “It doesn't matter anymore.”

“Are you sure?” he asked and you nodded again, lifting your head up so he could confirm it within your face.

“Whatever it was that bothered me brought me to you. If anything, I have to thank my previous sadness since it led to us finally doing something about all this unspoken between us.”

“Should I thank it too?” he teased and you rolled your eyes. Humour aside, Brian cupped your face within his hands. “I’m glad you came to me.”

“Finally we did something about us, huh?” you breathed and he pulled you into his embrace.

Finally.

_________________

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[kindrednerdspirit]

Sometimes A Thing Feels so Right: Part 2

Excerpt: Maybe she should be grateful she even knows someone could make her feel the way Newton does. Lately, though, it’s hard to feel grateful. Izzie is back to the ol’ numb-your-emotions-to-get-through-the-day routine. Her mum left again. No note, no nothing, just unanswered questions and disappointed kids.

TLDR: Timeline is after Season 3, Episode 9. It’s canon, except Izzie and Casey have not made up. Also, Evan and Casey are close friends, not just awkwardly figuring out how to be friends. Excuse the roughness, this is a work in progress.

The timeline for this story is after Season 3, Episode 9. I felt like the time in between the party where Izzie kisses a random guy (E9) and the part where Casey and Izzie make up (E10) could have been longer. It wasn’t necessarily rushed, but there was lots of potential to add more, especially in regards to Izzie’s internalized homophobia. I thought it would be fun to flush out Izzie’s feelings, and show her coming to terms with being gay. She realizes it’s not worth hiding a part of herself, especially if it means losing Newton.

Everything is the same as canon, except Casey and Izzie have not made up. Also, Casey and Evan are close friends. I think S3 E10 ends on a note where they’re friends, but still awkwardly figuring out what that looks like, so in what I just wrote, they’re solid friends.

This is unfinished, as you’ll see (it’s too jumpy), but my plan is to continue working on it. There are some things about the beginning that I don’t like, particularly the student council scene, but I’m struggling to think of ideas on how to improve it. So know that things are a work in progress and subject to change.

With Izzie’s emotions on my mind, I considered how the show hasn’t written much about her home life, either (not yet anyway--cannot wait for S4). So, I decided to write about life at home, her siblings, and the weight of having an absent parent. I was inspired and struck by the scene where Elsa sits down with Izzie, and shares how her mother was absent, too, and how that impacted her parenting style.

If you’re wondering why Izzie is hanging out with a superficial, “mean girl” crowd, it’s because I think that’s the role she played before she met Casey. This assumption is based on how Izzie first treats Casey, like when she pretends she pushed her during the sprint and when she refuses to help Casey on her first day of school. I’m also considering Izzie’s intimidating presence, and how she seems to have influence over her nameless, pre-Newton friends. This influence can be seen when she shows up at Casey’s birthday party with their Clayton Prep friends. I’m assuming that Iz is the main reason why they’re all there.

Phew! Anyhow, that’s how this piece began. Thank you for reading. Reach out if you have ideas, suggestions, criticisms, etc., or if you write Cazzie or Atypical fanfiction, too.

Friday, two weeks after the party. Izzie.

Since the party, the only thing Izzie knows about her and Newton, is that Newton wants nothing to do with her. It makes sense, really. Right after they almost kissed, she bolted and made out with someone else. Sometimes, Iz thinks of how turned on she was when Newton leaned in to kiss her. The memory alone makes her feel alive. It takes her out of the daily havoc and chaos created by her mother, reminding her of better things. It’s not like she savours the memory of Newton, though, or uses it to make herself feel better, because it inevitably gives way to embarrassment. Izzie went all the way with Nate and never, not once, did her body to respond to him like that. How could she be so dense to not know something so obvious about herself?

Maybe she should be grateful she even knows someone could make her feel the way Newton does. Lately, though, it’s hard to feel grateful. Izzie is back to the ol’ numb-your-emotions-to-get-through-the-day routine. Her mum left again. No note, no nothing, just unanswered questions and disappointed kids. It’s been a long time since Iz held any hope that her mum would stop using. Her siblings are different. Sometimes they still wait for her, awake in their beds at night, hoping she’ll come home safe.

But her siblings are all younger than her. Jason, the oldest, is eleven. He helps out with Alysha, their seven-year-old sister, and Arya, their two-year-old sister. He is so unbelievably sweet and Iz has no idea where he gets it from. She tries not to place too much responsibility on him, though. He’s still a kid, and the last thing she wants to do is rob him of his childhood.

Iz walks up the stairs to Clayton Prep as the warning bell rings. She cut it too close today. Selena has been sick this week, so the usual morning routine was a slog. She’s fussy, so Izzie woke Jason earlier than usual to help Alysha get ready. Iz considered an earlier wake-up time for herself but Coach is particularly barky lately, concerned that she is not getting enough sleep. It’s annoying when Coach notices things, because she’ll ask if things are okay at home. And what is Izzie supposed to say, exactly? 

“My mum is an addict.” 

“My siblings need me to take care of them.” 

“I’m worried that I’ll have to quit track, because my mum is a mess.”

“At any moment, the floor could fall out from underneath me, and I live with that possibility every day. But yeah, things are okay at home.”

Anyhow, Iz knocked on Jason’s door and gently shook him awake. Waking Jase 20 minutes earlier than usual doesn’t count as ruining his childhood, right? His response is a groan and a loud, “Why!?” That’s how Izzie knew it was going to be one of those mornings.

Like usual, the rest of the morning was a blur as Izzie got Arya ready for the day, while monitoring Jason and Alysha. She fed Arya as they got on their shoes. 

“Where’s your coat, Jason?” Izzie asked in between scooping spoonfuls of mashed banana into Arya’s mouth.

“I don’t need one.”

“You wear your coat when you leave this house. Go get it, please.” She handed Arya their agendas and lunch, then kneeled in front of her.

“Love you, hon.” She said before giving her sister a big hug and a kiss. Jason returned with a blue jacket and gave Iz a quick one-armed squeeze before running out the door.

“Wait for your sister!” She yelled after them before the door slammed shut.

When Izzie’s mum is sober, she leaves the house at 7:30 am, promptly arriving 15 minutes before the warning bell. With her mum AWOL and Arya needing to be delivered to her grandparents, Iz gets to Clayton Prep 15 minutes later than usual--too late for somebody trying to get into UCLA.

Izzie rushes to her locker. Her pre-Newton friends, who’re her current friends, wave and tell her to “hurry up.” Iz turns her lock clockwise, counterclockwise, clockwise in its familiar pattern, then opens the door. As she is switching out binders, her heart stops when she sees a folded piece of paper. A note from Newton? Not wasting a second, she grabs it and opens it. 

It reads, “Do you like me?” Two unfilled boxes are underneath, one with the word “yes,” the other with the word, “no.” There is no name indicating who wrote it.

Izzie’s heart pounds in her chest. Newton didn’t write it. This would, sadly, be the most exciting part of her school day. She stuffs the note in her pocket and makes her way to the library.

Student council is a new gig for Izzie. She has essentially reverted back to her pre-Newton self. Her old friends happily welcomed her back, inviting her to join student council in the process. There is Scarlet, who is like Regina George with less anger. She’s popular, bossy, mean, but she doesn’t mess with Izzie. Then there is Harmony, who is like Scarlet’s right-hand woman who does what Scarlet says. She probably has a personality, but Izzie hasn’t seen it, yet. Maybe Harmony will get a personality once she snaps. Lastly, there’s the new initiate who Iz is just getting to know. Her name is Mel, and she seems sweet. Why she’s hanging with Scarlet or Harmony is still a mystery to Izzie. 

Iz enters the room right before the bell rings, and pulls out a chair. Everyone is looking at her.

“So?” Scarlet mischievously smiles. “Any new news?”

“No.”

“No… notes?” Harmony jumps in. 

“Oh, yeah, but no name on it.” Izzie pulls the note out of her pocket, unravels it, and puts it on the table.

Scarlet snatches the note and examines it, while Harmony and Mel lean in.

“It’s from Brad. As in Nate’s friend, Brad.” Scarlet points to a previously unfolded piece with Brad’s name. The girls look giddy, all with wide grins on their faces. Well, at least Harmony and Scarlet are grinning, Mel looks uncertain. She likely has no idea who Brad is. Lucky girl.

Izzie sits on the other side of the table, not impressed. “Great. The best friend of the dickhead who lied and cheated on me likes me.” Iz starts fishing her binder and pens out of her backpack.

“Oh, come on, Iz. Chin up. This could be a great rebound for you. Also, it would totally make Nate jealous.” Scarlet and Harmony giggle.

Iz enjoys the thought of an angry Nate, too, but she mostly doesn’t care. “Can we not talk about Nate? I’d rather just get started.”

“Yikes. No help this morning, either?” Asks Scarlet.

Izzie shakes her head. Unfortunately, Scarlet and Harmony are very aware of Izzie’s home life situation. Iz had a moment of weakness months ago (pre-Newton), where she broke down and told them about having to look after her siblings. 

The girls are empathetic to Izzie’s situation, promptly starting the student council meeting. There is a school dance coming up that has Harmony and Scarlet’s attention. Iz zones out, thinking about how everything at Clayton Prep drags without Newton. It’s less interesting, less fun. She remembers the time she pretended Newton pushed her during their first sprint. Shame immediately rushes over her at the thought of the memory. Izzie was so certain Newton was just another over privileged rich kid.

“Iz?” Scarlet is staring at her.

“Yeah?”

“Wow, where were you? We’re voting on Mel’s idea. Should we ask for LGBTQ+ safe spaces in our next meeting?”

Izzie is caught off-guard. Usually, the conversations revolve around more trivial things, like dances and hem lengths on the girls’ uniforms. Her mouth moves before her brain catches up.

“Yeah, I support Mel’s idea.”

Scarlet raises her brow. “Okay, you two can brainstorm ideas for making safe spaces. Harmony and I will keep working on the dance.”

Mel turns to Izzie, “Thanks.”

“Yeah, well, Clayton Prep is supposed to be one of the more progressive schools, but I barely see any posters or anything saying it’s a safe space.”

Mel smiles and nods, “My thoughts exactly.”

Izzie feels her heart skip. Is that… excitement? Did something more interesting happen today than a jock’s secret love note? She tries to keep herself from smiling too wide while brainstorming with Mel, who is suddenly the only other person on her radar.

Later that evening

The first clue that her mum is back is the hunk of junk parked in the driveway. The second clue is the smell of pepperoni deluxe pizza that hits Izzie when she pushes open the door. Her mum always bought pizza as an “I’m sorry” treat. Iz walks into the kitchen with three large bags of groceries--groceries that she rushed to buy after school, so her and the kids could eat dinner at a reasonable time.

“IZZIE, my beautiful, gorgeous girl!” Her mum gets up from the table and gives her an exaggerated hug in front of Boyfriend Number… Six?

Iz doesn’t know if she’s high or not, and doesn’t care to find out.

“Hey.” She’s short as she puts away the food.

“This is Steve. Steve, meet Izzie, my oldest.” 

“Hi, nice to meet you.” Steve almost sounds like he means it. 

It’s never worth her time to meet her mum’s boyfriends, so Izzie ignores them and puts away some pasta sauce and beans.

“Hey,” her mum’s tone flipped remarkably fast, “I raised you better than that--don’t ignore people when they talk to you.”

Iz has also learned, over time, that it’s best for her to preserve her energy when it comes to her mum. This is one of those battles that wasn’t worth her time.

She turns to Steve, expressionless, and says, “Hi,” then immediately begins to put away canned corn and soup. “So Steve, were you in the picture before or after my mum left without notice for five days?” 

No answer from either of them, but it doesn’t matter, the situation is disappointing enough already. Iz slams the cupboard shut and leaves to check on her siblings. She numbed herself the moment she walked through the door, anyway. 

Saturday morning.

Iz wakes up the next day to a bright, beautiful Saturday morning. She groans, not wanting to deal with her mum today, so she decides to go for an early run. Leaping into her hoodie and track pants, she pads down the hallway and into the kitchen.

“Hi, beautiful.” Her mum is sitting at the table with a cup of coffee.

Iz frowns and fills her water bottle. “Did you sleep last night?”

There’s a scoff and a shuffling of feet. “What does it matter if I slept or not?”

“You know it matters!” Izzie’s raised voice even surprises her. Insomnia is one of her mum’s symptoms when she’s taking too many painkillers.

Her mum doesn’t say a word.

“Where did you go?” Izzie presses.

“I’m not having this conversation with you right now.” Her mum gets out of her chair and leaves the room. Other symptoms include hostility and mood swings. Nowadays, it was difficult for Iz to pinpoint her mum’s “normal” level of agitation. She always seemed sad or angry.

Feeling the familiar anger rise in her chest, Izzie calls after her. “Wherever you were for the last five days, I hope it was worth it!”

Friday, two weeks after the party. Casey and Elsa.

It’s a normal day in the Gardner household, whatever normal is when Casey’s autistic brother understands her relationship with her ex-girlfriend through the lens of two gay penguins who adopted an egg. And now Casey is not with her ex (hence the term “ex”), so she’s wondering if there’s another example of a gay penguin that Sam can compare her to that doesn’t have a partner. Oh, and then there’s her parents who are living together but not technically together, but they sometimes go on dates...

Anyhow, Casey is readying herself for a run. She wolfs down some pancakes made by Elsa, who is doing her typical mum thing and staring too long at her daughter.

“What?” Casey asks in between mouthfuls of fluffy, syrupy deliciousness.

“Have you talked to Izzie, lately?” She asks because for over a week, Casey hasn’t been looking at her phone with a goofy smile on her face, or laughing to herself while staring at the screen. Something is up.

“Nope.” It’s a firm “no,” denoting that there’s nothing else to say about the subject.

Elsa is not convinced, but letting her kids come to her for support has been not only rewarding, but extremely successful, so she doesn’t press further.

“Uhm.” There’s a beat as Casey wonders whether she should continue or not. “I saw grandma yesterday.”

Elsa stops washing the plate she’s holding, and turns to face her daughter. “Oh. Where?”

“Outside the hair salon. I crossed the street and talked to her for awhile.”

“That’s good!” Elsa nods a bit too vigorously to sound convincing.

“Why don’t we see her much? I mean, like, what happened between you two? For real.”

Casey knows that Elsa and her grandma don’t get along, but Elsa has held back on telling her daughter the full truth. Painting her mum as an alcoholic, absent parent wasn’t how Elsa wanted her children to see their grandma. And, even though those days are in the distant past, they still stir up difficult feelings for Elsa. 

Maybe she was unwittingly selfishly avoiding this conversation? She used to tell herself to wait for the right time, and now seemed like as good a time as any. Especially with Casey opening up to her recently about her feelings toward Izzie. She usually went to Doug for advice, so to finally have “girl” time together was really special.

With that thought in mind, Elsa pulls out a chair and sits beside her daughter. She takes a deep breath before speaking.

“I didn’t get along with my mum growing up. She wasn’t around when she should’ve been. She’d drink too much, come home too late, and there was a lot to do around the house, because she was absent. She was often around...physically, she didn’t go on benders or anything, but she was mentally gone. A lot. Even now, it’s hard for me to be in the same room as her, let alone trust her.”

Casey sucks in a quick breath. Elsa’s eyes are watery, but no tears fall. “Oh.” Casey’s short reply feels stupid and lackluster. Speechless, she hugs her mum. For once, she feels very grateful for her mum’s presence, even if that presence is often bothersome.

“Love you.” Casey says before pulling away. 

“Love you, too.”

“Thanks for not being a giant, meddling Elsa earlier.” She smiles wryly before leaving her seat, then leaving the house for her run.

Saturday. Izzie talks to Evan.

She loves the feeling she gets when she is running, like all her problems are somehow smaller, because she can think clearly. Izzie’s feet hit the warm pavement rhythmically, taking her further and further from home. Sometimes she fantasizes about running and never turning back. She could be free, free to go wherever she wanted and be whoever she wanted to be. But that’s all they were--daydreams. She could never leave Jason, Alysha, or Arya. One thing she could do, however, was let her feet take control, at least for a little while. Which is why she eventually found herself at… Don’s Pizza?

You don’t want to be here, she thinks to herself. Evan works here.

She stands looking at the entrance while families peer over at the strange, lone person on the edge of the parking lot.

Fuck it, I’ll just sit down and buy a slice. Just because Evan works here doesn’t mean that this has to be a big deal.

Iz lets her feet walk her through the front door. He is there, of course, standing behind the counter, wiping it down with a washcloth. He hasn’t looked up, yet. She could still leave.

“Evan, customer at the door.” Someone barks from the kitchen.

As soon as his eyes meet Izzie’s, his face hardens, but he walks over.

“Hey.” There is an awkward pause. “Would you like to sit at a booth or the counter?”

Iz doesn’t skip a beat. “The counter.”

“Uhhm… that’s where I’ll be.”

“I know.”

His eyes narrow. “Look, I don’t think we should talk about Casey.”

Iz raises her eyebrow. “Oh, are you suddenly uninterested in her? That didn’t take long.” 

Evan folds his arms and sighs. He doesn’t want to stand in the doorway any longer, and he is a little curious as to why Izzie is here. The last time he talked to Casey, she told him that Izzie didn’t want to date her, almost like she had cold feet or something.

“This way.” He says gruffly while walking toward the available spot at the counter.

She follows him and pulls out the bar stool. Iz looks at the table while Evan stands behind the counter, the two saying nothing. 

“I think I made a mistake.” Izzie blurts. Her chest rises and falls. Was she sweating? “I never should have got between you and Casey. She deserves...I can’t give her what she deserves. My life is complicated and I’ll just get in the way of her and UCLA.”

Evan is leaning against the counter, his arms outstretched with the washcloth in his back pocket. “For someone who’s smart, you’re really dumb.”

“I know.” Iz covers her face with her hands. She is overwhelmingly embarrassed by confiding in the one person who likely hated her, and unbelievably distraught over missing Newton.

“What is the problem?” He’s exasperated. “She left me because she likes you more. When I was with her, she lit up when she talked about you! Casey was different around you, like you two were in sync or something. You’re an idiot for throwing that away.”

Izzie feels her eyes warm up from the tears. Evan sighs and looks right into her eyes. “Just go to her.” He waits a beat. “Please? Preferably sooner rather than later, so I can get back to work.”

A grin spreads across Izzie’s face and she hiccups out a laugh. “I’m not ordering anything.”

“Yeah, I gathered that. I’ll still take a tip, though.”

She smiles wryly and puts the only bill she has on the table. It’s $5. “That’s for stealing your girlfriend.”

“That’s…” For once in this conversation, Evan is speechless. “You know what? I have actual work to do, so…”

Iz pushes in her stool, feeling lighter than she did ten minutes ago. “You know, I think I’m starting to understand your appeal.” She switches to a more serious tone. “Thank you.”

Evan nods and does, in fact, get back to work.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #469

“i am hungry for some unrest  /  i wanna push it beyond a peaceful protest”

Do you have any goats? Can't say I do. Are you going to be getting any new pets soon? No. Would you rather be a panda or grizzly bear? As a protected species, I'd say a panda. Do you like BBQ sauce? I hate it. Can you do a twirl like a ballerina? No. Does your house have a pool? No. Do you own an iPad? No. What’s a topic you’ve drastically changed your opinion on? A LOT. Many years ago, I was very conservative, now I'm definitely more liberal. What’s an achievement you hope to see humanity accomplish in your lifetime? I'd really love to see great improvements in nature and wildlife conservation. Are you and your SO Facebook official? We're like... half official? He never checks his notifications, EVER, so he hasn't verified our relationship status. Instead, it just says on my profile "in a relationship with ____ (pending)." I don't mind, though. "Facebook official" doesn't mean much to me at all. What matters is that we know. Have you ever bathed in a river or a lake? I've swum in them, but I most certainly haven't bathed in one. Have you bought a bag of potato chips in the past week? No. I avoid chips because I'll eat too many. What was your first job? And how long did you work there? I was a sales associate at GameStop for like two months, but keep in mind I was VERY rarely on the schedule, so I probably didn't even work for a week's time in total. Can you drive? I can, but I don't do it well and don't have my license. My permit's even long expired. I plan on forcing myself to practice and get licensed once I get new glasses, though (whenever I can afford that...). Right now I couldn't even pass the vision test. I just have to do it; public transport isn't big here AT ALL, and I can't keep relying on others to get me everywhere. Do you spend too much time online? Way, way too much. Extremely high odds are, if I'm conscious, I'm on the computer. I want to change that so badly and experience other things in life way more regularly, it's just an addiction that has been an issue since I was first exposed to the Internet. Do you like to travel? I barely ever get to do it, but yes, I love it. How did you first notice the last person you kissed? Well, it's kinda hard NOT to subconsciously notice the guy who played the fuckin' huge-ass tuba in band, ha ha. Why will/won’t you and your ex get back together? THE ex, because 1.) I'm sure he wants nothing to do with me, and 2.) because I'd be much too worried he'd leave again if I relapse with my depression badly enough. Do you use the words "I love you" too lightly? Definitely not. Do you like pizza? Legit, are there people who don't like pizza???? Do you use an alarm clock? I use my phone for that. Name something that is currently making you happy. Girt is making me really, really happy. I'm still not happy at my core, but, y'know. A person can't do that, anyway. What do you want for Christmas this year? Stiiiill a 40 gallon for Venus with proper equipment... I need a fucking job. That's going to be my answer possibly past Christmas because I just completely rely on my parents financially. Are you excited for the holidays? Very, except for Thanksgiving. I'm way more hyped for Halloween and Christmas and all it entails than usual. Name one tattoo you would like to get someday. I'll give ya one I don't think I've mentioned. On top of one of my hands, over some sort of fiery graphic, I want "Gefährlich ist wer Schmerzen kennt" (translated to "whoever knows pain is dangerous") written in fine text. It's a lyric from the song "Feuer frei!" by Rammstein that I just find very powerful, and not necessarily in an dark way. Are you afraid of stink bugs? Yes, because they're a form of beetle, which tend to scare me. Do you wear contact lenses? No, but I wish. :/ There are piercings I want that would look stupid with glasses. One of my eyes has such bad vision that I need a weighted contact in it (don't ask me exactly what the difference is), and I could feel it way too clearly in my eye, and it made it heavy. Wearing those contacts did NOT last long; I went back to my glasses. Have you ever danced in the rain? No. What was your last dream about? Astonishingly, I don't remember. Where was the last place you went besides your house? The doctor's office. Do you feel like you're judged for your looks? Being someone who is by definition obese, I'm certain some people do. Do you fight with your parents a lot? No. Last time you got stopped by a cop or pulled over. Why? I never have been. Do you like hot sauce? Yes. How bored are you right now? Very, very bored. As a side effect of depression, I experience severe anhedonia like... constantly, at least to some degree. No exaggeration. It makes my life a fucking drag. It's why I take surveys so much; the randomness of the questions is at least a momentary distraction. Do you think you would make a good model? Hell no. Even if I was in a physical shape for anyone to be interested in photographing me, I would feel WAY too awkward. Are you a good singer? No. Do the Emergency Alert System noises on TV freak you out? Yes, because I immediately assume it's a tornado warning. Describe your perfect date. Actually I'm planning something for Girt and me hopefully on Halloween (or if he has to work, at least close to) that is like absolutely effin' perfect for me. Carve some pumpkins together, make those Pillsbury Halloween cookies, and binge some spooky movies. :') Do your parents trust you? Yeah. Do you like pot roast? No. Have you ever thought about being a stripper? No. Are you flexible? No. Can you wiggle your nose? Nope. Have you ever played Mario Kart? Yes. My younger sister especially was sooo good at it; she doesn't even play video games and yet she was hooked on it for a while. How often do you go shopping for clothes? Almost never. I really, really need to for undergarments and pants now. Do you have a high IQ? I don't know my IQ, but I very much doubt it. Would you ride a motorcycle if you had the chance? No. They scare me. Have you ever been bitten by a dog? No. Do you like the smell of cinnamon? yessssss Do you like frogs? I love those lil bug-eyed cuties!!! :') Are you afraid of dying? Not massively. I mean yeah, I don't want to die and the fear of the unknown is there, but I really don't think I'm as scared of it as most people. Do you like bananas? Yeah. Where's the last place you've been to out of state? Lake Gaston in Virginia. What are you listening to right now? I'm watching another playthrough of Fatal Frame 3. Gotta say it's probably my favorite that I've seen/played of the franchise now. Would you rather use a trackpad or a mouse? Mouse, for sure. Do you like steak? Yes. What was the best gift you've ever received? My late dog. Tell me one of your pet peeves. Consistently trying to make conversation with me when I have headphones on. It's a bitchy pet peeve, but a pet peeve nonetheless. Do you like to keep your nails painted? I don't paint my nails or care to. Are you a Duck Dynasty fan? I was a long time ago when I actually watched it. I wouldn't watch it now because I don't support the overly-conservative cast, having followed a couple on Facebook for a time. Have you ever played with Silly Putty? As a kid, for sure. I loved that stuff. Do you take in a lot of caffeine daily? Yes. :x Do you know a lot about history? Definitely not. Are you allergic to pollen? Yes. Would you rather play Xbox or PlayStation? I'm a PlayStation gal. Have you ever worked at a fast food place? No, and I neeeeever would. Hungry people are the worst. Do you like hot tubs? Meh, I have to be in the right mood. Do you know anyone who is battling cancer? Not at this current moment. Are you good at doing fractions? NOOOOOOO, or doing ANY kind of math. Have you ever auditioned for a talent competition? No. Would you rather get high or get drunk? I've never experienced either, but probably high. Being drunk is usually synonymous with being sloppy. Do you like the Silent Hill movies? AYEEEEEEEEE I'm the chick to ask! I love the first one, it's brilliant and loyal to the idea of the series but still unique from the original story of the pilot game. The second one is objectively fucking awful story-wise and is SO all over the place, but I can still enjoy it as an obsessed fan of that franchise. Did you ever want to be a doctor? I wanted to be a vet for a long time, if that counts. [TW: SUICIDE] The last person you kissed, how many times have you cried in front of them? I probably cried some/was teared up to some degree when he visited me in the ER after my overdose. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 1 month? Is this written for a middle schooler? No shit I could, and have in the past on more than one occasion. Have you kissed someone with braces? No. Is this the best year of your life? Nooo sir. Can you have more than one best friend? Yeah. What do you like better: hot chocolate or hot apple cider? Hot chocolate. ooo: What are your full initials? BMD. Would you ever let your grandma set you up on a blind date? She's dead, but if she wasn't? HEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL NO. Do you ever wonder if you will get in a car accident and die? As someone who is terrified of driving, absolutely. I'm primarily more concerned about becoming paralyzed from the neck down, though. I'd rather die than that. So your ex comes to you and says “I want you back”, what do you say? I'd probably say, "I'm happy to finally be able to say 'no'" or something along those lines. Maybe even just a simple "no." Which was worse for you: freshman year of high school or of college? College. I was so fucking depressed and lost. What is the last language you spoke, other than your first? German. Would you ever consider moving to a different country? Canada, yes, if it didn't mean leaving my family and now boyfriend. What is your favourite food from your culture? Burgers. @_@ Other than your name, what was the last name someone called you? Britt. If you could find one long lost friend of the past, who would it be? Megan. I found her on Facebook before and sent her two messages over the past something years, but she never responded. It's frustrating, like I was so close to reuniting with her, but not close enough. Do you wash your hair or your body first when taking a shower? Hair. Have you ever been to a nursing home? Yes, with my mother to visit someone.

[astertataricvs]

May I request a scenario for Kyojurou, where he and his s/o goes on their first date?

I love this man so much, I’m crying because of how gorgeous he is 😭💛💛

Modern AU

Word count: 3k

It’s finally the day of the Hanabi festival, whereas tons of people were excited about the event and you knew how crowded it will be. Many stalls were built and foods were being sold, as the lights were illuminating the area and give off the thrilling and friendly vibe for the people to enjoy and kids to have fun. You’ve been waiting for this day to arrive and you’re one of those people that are excited to go to the event. Why? It’s because Rengoku had asked you for a date, not just a date but it’s actually your first date with him as being his significant other for about a month now.

You’re utterly aware of your boyfriend being busy due to his job as being the history teacher of Kimetsu Academy. Well, he’s not the only one who is busy because you also have a job that’s eating your time from talking or spending your time together with Rengoku. And now that you both finally have the chance to be free from being immersed with your jobs, you both didn’t slip the opportunity to go on a date; moreover, it seemed luck was on your side since Hanabi festival was coming in just a few days. And this is the perfect place for your first date, oh how you both thank the Gods for giving you this kind of reward for being patient.

You fixed yourself in the bathroom as you wait for Rengoku to fetch you in your house, you also decided to wear a kimono since you want to look presentable in front of your boyfriend, and you want to surprise him with your good looks. But even though you’re trying to impress him, Rengoku has always been fascinated by you, and he doesn’t care about your appearance, because he literally fell for you because of your kind-hearted soul. He’s such a sweetheart.

As you’re done preparing yourself, the doorbell of your house had suddenly chimed, making your eyes to shimmer upon knowing that it’s definitely Rengoku on your doorstep. Wasting no time, you quickly went to the front door of your house, only to see your boyfriend wearing casual clothes; a long sleeve button up polo shirt where sleeves were folded until his elbow, pants and a pair of top sider shoes. He was indeed handsome and refreshing in your eyes, especially his signature smile that mirrors the sun itself as if his smile could radiate and brighten up a place in just a second.

“You look beautiful tonight, (Name),” he says before planting a soft kiss on your head. You couldn’t help but giggle at his sweet gesture and return his kiss by pecking his cheeks.

“You look handsome as well. Let’s go?” You initiated.

Rengoku nodded and offer you his hand, “Let’s.”

As you both reached the event, you both started to roam around the area, he asked you if you were hungry but you only shook your head, indicating that you want to play some games first before eating. The place was so lively and tons of people were wandering around, some of them were hanging out with their friends, families and significant other, there are kids eating some choco banana, cotton candy and the candy apple with a smile on their faces, some were playing with some games in the stalls and trying to annoy the merchants.

You told Rengoku that you wanted to play some shooting games first because it’s been a while since you played that game. Being Rengoku as the sweet boyfriend, he escorted you all the way to some stall with very interesting prizes. Your boyfriend even confirmed to you if this is the prizes that you want since most of them were toy guns, not just a typical toy gun but it was some kind of a real gun due to its real size and design, there are even kinds of bows and consoles like PS4 and 3DS. Rengoku assumed that you would go to a stall were prizes were human-sized teddy bears, food or just some girly stuff. However it’s not what he had expected, either way, he only smiled at himself and watched you being excited like a kid and couldn’t wait to get the prizes that you want.

Rengoku just remembered how you like to play RPG games, any games that involve shooting, civilization and adventure. For him, you’re not the typical person he’d encounter in the streets or someone who could easily determine what interests them. When he would have spare time, he’d visit you at your house and play some games in your PS4. Well, Rengoku already expected that beating you is not a piece of cake; especially playing those games were already your domain. He thought at first he would go easy on you but it actually contradicted on what he had assumed.

That is precisely why he only watched you having those sparkle in your eyes as you try to shoot three cans to earn a prize in the booth. In your first try, you failed of course since you’re just trying to warm up and you’re gonna get serious for your next try. But in your many attempts of wanting to shoot three cans in a row and undeniably failed, you started to become frustrated and you felt like you wanted to explode in any minute.

Thankfully that Rengoku is there with you to calm you down and prevent you from getting mad at the game or worst at the merchant. Of course, being your boyfriend, he wanted to impress you in many ways. Therefore, he places his hand on your shoulder and smiled charmingly at you.

“Let me try this one, (Name),” he says, assuring you with his touch on your shoulder. You stared at him for a second before nodding your head.

Rengoku takes the toy gun and without any efforts, he successfully hits the three cans in a row which causes your jaw to drop onto the ground and look at him with disbelief.

“What?! How did you do that?!” you quickly asked him as you scrutinize the cans that fell to the ground.

Rengoku smiled at you cheekily and pinched your nose, “Even if I can’t beat you on the games in your play station, I can beat you in real life games, (Name).”

He heartily laughed and you merely pouted because it’s the accurate fact that you couldn’t dispute.

After you play some games in different booths, Rengoku treats you some takoyaki and any foods that you wanted to eat. Basically, Rengoku was the one who’s paying all the expense, although you wanted to pay as well, your sweet boyfriend only refused and said that it’s so unmanly and ungentlemanly of him if he would let you pay in your date. Moreover, Rengoku insisted to pay everything because most of all it’s your first date, so he wanted it to be memorable and he wanted you to have fun. Because for him, spending time with you is already enough, seeing your happy face, hearing your melodious laugh that filling up his heart with so many emotions for you, holding your hand with his and caressing it ever so tenderly that he doesn’t want to let go and especially how your eyes would sparkle in rhapsody as you stared at him with that loving gaze seemingly pulling him and submerging him into your gravity.

You have no idea how you make his heart race in just by receiving your lovely smile and hold his hands while dragging him to different kinds of booths. You even fed him cotton candy and flashed him a toothy grin before ruffling his hair that would catch him off guard; you never let his hand go in your entire walk since you don’t want to lose him in this crowded place.

“Hey, Kyojuro, I think we should rest, for now, my feet are hurting because of this geta,” you informed him to which Rengoku agreed right away.

As you were about to walk again to find some place to rest, Rengoku instantly caught your wrist that makes you turned your head to look at him.

“Let me carry you,” he insisted. Your cheeks sprinkled in red hues upon hearing his statement.

“I-It’s fine! I can still walk, you know!” Rengoku’s face was contorted with pure concern and you could tell that he doesn’t agree with your claim just now.

“(Name), I insist. I don’t want you to get hurt even more; you might not be able to walk properly tomorrow.”

Suddenly, he crouched down in front of you, making you surprised a bit comprehending on what he was indicating. Hesitatingly, you wrapped your arms around Rengoku’s neck with a small blush dusting your cheeks. Rengoku adjusted his body a bit before standing up while holding you under your kneecaps to prevent you from falling.

“Are you okay?” He asked and craned his neck to look at you, but you only buried your face on his shoulder since you don’t want him to see your blushing state right now.

Nodding your head in response, Rengoku took this as his cue to leave and bring you two to some quiet place and where you can perfectly see the view of fireworks.

“I’m sorry for the bother, Kyojuro…” you muttered. Rengoku takes a side glimpse at you then shifts his gaze on the road.

“What are you talking about, (Name), you’re not a bother at all. It would bother me more if you didn’t tell me beforehand and you hurting just because of our first date. I don’t want that.”

Rengoku’s voice was so calm as if it’s trying to lull you in your sleep. It’s really pleasing to hear and you could distinguish the gentleness and fondness in his voice. Moreover, your heart was beating so loud that was making you bothered since he might notice it. Nuzzling your face into the crook of his neck, you could smell the sweet and manly fragrance of Rengoku, his cologne is not that strong like any other cologne that some men have. It’s actually addicting and pleasing to smell.

When you both reached the destination, Rengoku placed you down and assisted you to take a seat on the bench. The street was eerily quiet and the street lamps being the source of your light where trees were aligned in the side of the street.

“Do you want something to drink?” he inquired.

“Just a sports drink.”

Rengoku nodded in response as he went to the vending machine near the place and bought the drink that you wanted. He gave you your drink and afterwards you said your thanks to him. Neither both of you spoke and simply listened to the vague noises coming from the event and the gust of the evening’s breeze running through your figures.

While you were drinking, you almost spit out your drink when Rengoku had suddenly kneeled in front of you, you don’t know what he’s going to do but when you feel his hold on your feet and remove your shoe, that’s when you realize that Rengoku is trying to examine if you had received some wounds.

“Apparently, you don’t have any scratches on your feet and it’s only reddish. You just need to rest for a meantime,” Rengoku explains before lifting his head to see you and give you a grin.

“That’s good news then.”

Rengoku’s eyebrows slightly furrowed and in haste, he gave you a flick on your forehead. “What do you mean good news, barely though, you’re still in pain.”

You stared at Rengoku’s almost pouty face because of how worried he was for you. Letting out a chuckle, you put down your drink and caught him off guard by placing your cold hands on his cheeks.

“You’re such a worrywart, Kyojuro. I’m not going to die because of it,” you snickered.

“Still, if you sensed that you were not feeling well you should have told me sooner. We could have rested.”

“But I don’t want to spoil your fun, you know?” This causes Rengoku to hold your hands and pulled it away from his cheeks, placing it on your lap while softly caressing it.

“(Name), being with you is enough for me to have fun. If you’re not enjoying the date then I won’t be happy and satisfied with it. I prioritize your feelings before me…” Rengoku stared at you intently, seemingly making you drown into the pits of his golden orbs that hold sincerity and pure concern filling those irises of his. You could feel the fast beating of your heart in every minute that would pass as you stared at him.

Feeling the lack of warmth in your hands snapped you out from your reverie, you noticed that Rengoku retracted his hands from yours and now you’re watching him fiddling in his pockets. You cocked your eyebrow in confusion as you wait for Rengoku to find something.

Once he finally pulled out a small paper bag, you eyed it with bewilderment as Rengoku tries to open it. And once he took the thing out from its bag, your eyes immediately widened upon seeing a kanzashi with its intricate design of cherry blossom. Your mouth fell as you stared at it with awe because of how beautiful and elegant it looked like.

“Since I predicted that you’re going to wear a kimono today, I decided to buy a kanzashi for your hair,” Rengoku uttered as he stood up from his kneeling position and crouched down to meet your eye level. He gave you his signature smile before putting the kanzashi on you; he was thoroughly putting the kanzashi since he doesn’t want to mess up your hair that he certainly knew that you took hours from fixing it.

Upon the success of putting it, he glided his warm hands on your cheeks then lifted your chin to take a good look on your visage. “It absolutely suits you, you’re beautiful with it.”

His words were making you blushed and you couldn’t help but look down since staring at his golden orbs were making you melt and you couldn’t resist planting your lips against his. But unbeknownst to you, Rengoku was tempted to kiss you right here at this current moment but he was holding himself back since he doesn’t want you to feel uncomfortable.

All of a sudden, fireworks blasted on the night sky with multiple colours ornamenting the once dull firmament of the evening. This caught your attention and watched the fireworks freely exploding and listening to the loud noises that it confers. You stared at it with amazement due to the intrinsic natural beauty of the various lights glowing in the night sky.

Rengoku watched the fireworks for a minute before darting his gaze at you. The different light colours that were coming from the fireworks was illuminating your visage, he could clearly see how the fireworks erupting in those eyes of yours. But what rendered him speechless and taken his breath away is your gorgeous face that seemed to be gleaming in this wonderful evening. He was enthralled and enamoured by watching you, he couldn’t get enough, and you’re too irresistible.

Sensing that someone is watching you, you craned your neck to look at Rengoku whose eyes were already settled on yours. The fireworks were incessantly exploding in the sky but seemed like your ears were blocked from any noises since you’re too absorbed from staring into Rengoku’s golden eyes that were blazing like a fire.

Subsequently, Rengoku’s warm and huge hands glided to your cheeks, gently caressing it as he stared at you with a loving gaze; eyes were hooded like he could feel himself sinking into the depths of your charms, like a witch who enchanted him with her witchcraft. As he examined your face and engraved it into his mind, his eyes slowly landed on your plum lips, as if he was asking him to plant his chapped ones on yours.

He was tempted; he wants to kiss you with this cliché scene that for him is sweet, he doesn’t care whether it is or not, he was high-key wanting to kiss you not just on your cheeks, forehead and hands. He wants to kiss you on the lips that he concluded that it was sweeter than honey. His thumbs were rubbing your cheekbones, giving you a clue on what he wants, he wanted to ask your consent since he respects you a lot, he doesn’t want to make you feel awkward and if you’re not ready; he’ll wait as long as it takes.

“(Name), can I kiss you?” his question was barely audible due to the loud noise of the firework that was eating all the noise in the area. Although you didn’t hear him, you already have an idea on what he was talking about. And subconsciously, you nodded your head without avoiding your eyes from his.

Once Rengoku received your answer, he felt his heart leapt in his chest and his stomach flipped. He was stunned at your immediate answer but immediately returned to his senses since he doesn’t want to slip this opportunity.

Staring to you that seemed like forever, Rengoku gradually dipped his face down until your forehead touched one another. You could smell the minty breath of your boyfriend as he gazed into your eyes with adoration. Caressing your cheeks again, a smile graces his lips and speaks.

“I love you, (Name).”

After he announced the three sweet words that you wanted to hear from him every day, he finally sealed his lips with yours.

The feeling was ethereal, it feels so surreal since this day that you both were waiting for had finally occurred. Both of you were just too shy to admit it to each other but seriously you’ve wanted this to happen. Kissing Rengoku was magical, in such a way where you can feel yourself flying in the sky and feel that you reached the highest end of happiness in life. The two of you didn’t care about your surroundings anymore, even the exquisite fireworks that make people joyous. The only thing that matters is both of you sharing your first kiss and first date for this wonderful day.

As you both retracted your lips and forehead still touching, a smile spreads on both of your faces before saying those three words.

“I love you.”

[thejakeformerlyknownasprince]

I saw your post on how Animorphs is written from a childist perspective where you very neatly outlined the boundary between a cast for children and one for YA. But what delineates the boundaries between YA and Adult fiction?

[OP refers to this post.]

What’s the difference between YA and Adult fiction?  In a word: Marketing.  Young Adult novels are Young Adult novels if they’re classified that way by bookstores, critics, publishing houses, and/or researchers.

People have pointed out that libraries had YA sections decades before I put the “official” inception with Twilight and Crank.  While that’s true, my local library also has sections on “Queer Paranormal Romance” and “Memoirs by Muslim Authors” (reason 491.2 that my local library is the best) but I doubt either of those genres is going to become mainstream anytime soon.  It wasn’t until Barnes & Noble (and other major gatekeepers) started incorporating YA sections that critics and scholars and publishers started considering it a “real” category worthy of study and discussion, and that didn’t happen until ~2005.

That’s also why the core of my argument about Animorphs is that it’s published by Scholastic, and Scholastic only publishes children’s books, and therefore Animorphs is a children’s series.  Genres are fairly-arbitrary marketing categories, and so are target ages of novels.

So what’s the difference between YA and Adult fiction?

Literal answer: If it’s in the YA section of a bookstore or has a “YA” sticker on the cover, it’s YA.  If it’s not, it isn’t.

Actual answer: Generally, novels that are about adolescents, focus on adolescent conflicts, written for adolescent readers, and/or concerned with the problems of adolescence are Young Adult.

There are some genres that are far more common within YA than others.  Paranormal romance is a big one.  So is “problem lit” that focuses on angst and characters’ first struggles with sex/drugs/death/finance.  (Like I said, Twilight and Crank were trend-setters.)  Period dramas are common, as are Chosen One stories, as are urban fantasies, and those three genres often overlap.  Bildungsroman, or the coming-of-age school story, is the O.G. YA genre.

There’s also a big convention around length.  YA novels tend to be physically quite large, even if publishers have to force the issue through screwing around with spacing and margins like a bunch of high schoolers whose essay has a five-page minimum.

[Image description: Side-by-side comparison of p. 112 of young adult novel Children of Blood and Bone by Tomi Adeyemi and p. 112 of adult novel Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn.  The pages are the same size, but the Gone Girl page has approximately twice as much text on it.]

The end result is this.

[Image description: Children of Blood and Bone’s spine lined up next to Gone Girl’s spine.  Gone Girl is noticeably thinner, even though it has a higher word count.]

This shit drives me BANANAS, but it speaks to the importance of this convention, and the extent to which arbitrary trends drive contents of books instead of the other way around.

Anyway, a few marginal cases that I think speak well to the YA/Adult divide:

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman.  I used to play a game where, every time I entered a new bookstore or library, I’d guess in advance where The Golden Compass was located and then check to see if I was right.  Partially because I’m a dork with really boring ideas of fun, partially because there was no knowing in advance where it’d be classified.  I’ve seen HDM classified as children’s literature (because the main character is 10), as adult adventure (because it deals with religion and death and sex), as religious fiction (because it’s about kids who kill God), as Litératuré (because it attracted Critical Acclaim™), as adult sci-fi (because it’s in a steampunk world), as romance (because ???), as fantasy (because there are talking bears), and finally as YA.  It seems to have settled in YA, I think it belongs there, but YA didn’t really exist at the time when it was published.  It’s got adult and child themes, adult and child characters, and very adolescent character arcs about coming into one’s sexuality and becoming an independent individual... so no one knew what to do with it in 1995.

Song of the Lioness by Tamora Pierce.  Pierce herself has talked about the fact that the books were first marketed as romance (because they’re by a woman and about a woman, and publishing is full of sexist BS), they later got moved to children’s lit, then to “genre fiction.”  Now they’re YA, and they belong in YA.  Again: they’re books about adolescence, where most of the characters are adolescents, and they focus on adolescent concerns.

Crank by Ellen Hopkins.  First of all, I want to make clear that I love that book, and that I learned more about how to write poetry from Hopkins than any English teacher.  However, Crank was also the inspiration for some of my least-favorite trends in YA.  It’s a verse novel, so it has as few as 5 words per page but is also a fucking tome.  Publishers took the message that they could charge $29.99 for a novel with the same number of words but three times the pages as one going for $7.99, and acted accordingly.  It also featured Baby’s First Discussion of Serious Topics like addiction, homelessness, assault, and prejudice.  That helped launch a lot of genuinely brilliant novels whose authors took the time to do it right and/or wrote what they knew (The Hate U Give, Wintergirls, Miseducation of Cameron Post)... aaaand it helped launch a lot of condescending, ablest/sexist/problematic, “those Other People are just like us” type novels (13 Reasons Why, The Fault in Our Stars).

Anyway, people have been writing novels about adolescence for adolescents for as long as there have been novels.  Catcher in the Rye, The Outsiders, The Chocolate War, A Wrinkle in Time, Speak, Silent to the Bone, and Killing Mr. Griffin all make that patently obvious.  However, those novels all kind of wandered around homeless inside a lot of bookstores until mega-sales of books like Twilight, Harry Potter, The Book Thief, Just Listen, Crank, So Yesterday, How I Live Now, The Hunger Games, and (sigh) Looking for Alaska forced Barnes & Noble to build a home for them.

It’s interesting to look at lit crit from right around 2005, because a lot of scholars are saying “there’s this... new category? about teenagers? it’s becoming a thing?”  But in 2020 scholars can just write “YA” and not even spell it out because yeah, yeah, everybody knows.  So the category is useful if it helps people find books, obnoxious to the extent that it controls what books get published or marketed and what they look like on the shelf, and probably going to split even further into “YA - Teens” and “YA - Emerging Adulthood” if trends continue as they have been.