#comrade whale

[bananarchy4ever]

i'm with the orcas 🔥 quote by someone known as "Insurgent S"

[kropotkindersurprise]

April, 2023 - A group of orcas disable a boat near Spain by destroying the boat’s rudders. [video]

[nando161mando]

Comrade whale capsizing a boat today in New Hampshire.

[bonefall]

May i ask why do you think that Brambleclaw wasn't a good father? not saying i disagree if that is what you think, but why do you? just wondering because i like what you say

Again I hope to have time sometime soon to make a big thing like I did with Breeze, but what gets me about Bramble is that incredibly self-concerned. Like, regularly unable to see past his own feelings to the point where he can't consider his effect on other people.

And Po3 in particular is ALSO trying to frame him like the perfect, most amazing dad in the world. It's for the dramatic irony of the reveal, and to make it EXTRA sad that he's going to abandon his children when he finds out they're adopted... but in the process, they just ignore anything crummy he does. Like he can Do No Wrong.

Particular instances I plan to get into;

When he's angry or disappointed, he's NASTY. He isn't this "super supportive papa" that the Three keep saying he is; he's most supportive when they're making him proud.

He fails to notice that Lionpaw's behavior is getting increasingly violent as a result of his mentor physically abusing him. Is that "Great Dad" material? To not notice your son is struggling?

We eventually learn that Ashfur approached him after one of these savage beatings to butter up to Brambleclaw, insisting that this sort of physical abuse is neccesary because it will give him a strong son.

Stress that again; Ashfur appealed to Brambleclaw's ego so he could keep beating his teenage child. In what world is that "Great Dad" material??

When Hollypaw then tries to tell her dad about how uncomfortable seeing her brother being savaged made her, Bramble tells her... ohh she's So smart, and So so responsible, and he relies on her to keep her brothers in line, and what Ashfur is doing is neccesary.

In any other book series, this would have been a MASSIVE condemnation of Brambleclaw. To be manipulated into allowing his son to get beat, and then turning around to tell his daughter he trusts her to understand it because she's so mature.

But because the Erins like Bramble so very much, it's not acknowledged. Then Ashfur tries to murder these kids later.

And like... again, they want him to be seen as so wonderful and amazing so that it's extra painful when he disowns these kids, but AGAIN, Brambleclaw is supposed to be this incredibly loving, unconditionally loyal, amazingly responsible father...

So how exactly is THAT consistent with abandoning his kids during the most upsetting time of their lives?

Does a wonderful father get consumed by his own pain and humiliation and cut off his kids, one of whom is in the middle of a breakdown? Does he take out his divorce on the children? Is being a "wonderful father" seeing the son you let get abused looking at you, DESPERATELY missing you as his dad, and just turning away?

Or, maybe, being a parent is about being mature. Putting aside your own personal anger or pain or ego to be there for your kids. Something like that???

And yet, he continues to act like that for an entire year. Not improving or self-reflecting at ALL the entire time. When it's miraculously revealed that Hollyleaf isn't DEAD, he's STILL wallowing. The kid he raised came back from the dead but FUCK that, who cares, "what about MY feelings?? Why is no one thinking about whats really important. Meeee."

(Mind you, he was willing to help this same person get away with murder in the last arc. But back then, she was his daughter. Now he doesn't care.)

Eventually SQUIRRELFLIGHT has to tell him that he shouldn't throw away his entire family because he's mad at her. Someone ELSE had to shout it down his thick skull that his bitterness is consuming him and he's ruining his life. Even after a year of punishment, she holds his hand like a big baby and guides him away from his OWN destructive behaviors.

But this isn't about Squilf. This is about Brambleclaw.

He enabled his son's child abuse. The abuser went on to attempt murder of his victim. He IMMEDIATELY turned on the kids he raised when he found out they were secretly adopted, because he was angry at his ex-wife. He only changed because the EX-WIFE told him to cut it out.

That's why I think he's not a great dad. I think talk of his Greatly Dadness are narration wank, and when you look closer, you see a FASCINATINGLY flawed character that the Erins hold back out of WEIRD writer favoritism.

[fullposadism]

Our Revolutionary Comrades Attack

[comradebestie]

my one goal on tumblr is to one day see my own post screenshotted and reposted on pinterest in my feed there

[sephirajo]

Sometimes Facebook is fun.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

ASL brothers HAIKYUU!! AU!!!!!

Day one of Self Indulgent month for me! I love these three, i love haikyuu, i love killer whales!

(The Naval Academy is this au’s version of marines)

For those who dont know, in Haikyuu (and prob in real life too but in my experience its not as important as they make it in the anime) The "Ace" of the team is the person who primarily scores points via spiking. Theyre the Hard Hitter, basically.

Design talk👇

Originally, i was gonna make their school mascot just "The Pirates" but i couldnt figure out a clever pun with the school name so i scrapped it in favor of an animal mascot. I figured I would have a wider range of puns that way.

I landed on Orcas as the mascot because I think they really embody a pirate way of life. Theyre strong, hang out in groups of a mix of found family and their actual family, hate the rich, and theyre fun loving! And also im a bit biased because theyre my favorite animal, but hey, i said its self indulgent month, didnt I?

Their school name is a play on the word for Killer Whale (Shachi シャチ) and the word for 'knowledge' (Chishiki 知識), i just smashed the two words together. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with that given i dont speak japanese at all.

Anyway, with their designs, I was taking inspiration from orcas to match the design themes of haikyuu. Ace's hair is bleached on the underside to look like the underside of an orca's body, I made ace and sabo's eyes look more whale-like, the clip in sabo's hair is meant to resemble to spots behind orca's eyes, and I tried to make luffy's hair look more like it's round and spiking down more than i usually do.

Ace is wearing a ''way of the ace" shirt in the first picture, Luffy is wearing a shirt that just says "VOLLEY BALL" because i think it would be funny if he wore a bunch of those Zero-context-poorly-translated-random-english-words shirts that theres a bunch of in Asia. Sabo dyes his hair like delinquents do, but it doesnt much look delinquent~y because of how soft it looks. He means to do it to make him look like a delinquent though. Sabo still has his scars in this au, but he uses his hair, arm braces, and leg braces to cover them up. LUFFY AND ACE HAVE FUNKY SOCKS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL THEM (or me) THEY CANT. Sabo wears athletic socks though because he's a debbie downer. He defends himself saying “It’s practical” and Ace and luffy call him “practically a Debbie Downer.”

Luffy is very good at receiving from growing up with Sabo and Ace practicing setting and spiking with eachother and assigning Luffy as Ball Boy. So he got the libero position from that cuz sabo and ace put in a good word for him. Nepotism.

I didn't feel like coming up with designs for them, but Zoro and Bepo are also on their team (theyre in the fifth image sitting on the right of the line of students). Koala and nami are student managers, Robin is the teacher manager, and Franky is the coach. all other straw hats/luffy friends, rev army comrades, and whitebeard brethren are in the stands. Im trying to keep the ages consistent with how they are in canon.

I didnt do a very in depth research, but i couldnt find what Japanese schools have as mascot costumes. and given no one wears any costumes in haikyuu for their team, i can kind of assume they dont use them over there. But unfortunately for them, I'm American. And part of the backbone of our schooling system, is Vaguely Unsettling Mascot Costumes. My sister says my design for it looks like its from Club Penguin, and i find that delightful. [moment of silence for my billions of fallen Puffles, taken from me in The Shutdown] Anyway.

I thought I was clever coming up with the equivalent of the Marines in this au being a Naval Academy. And their mascot being Seals, famously the animal that gets the absolute Worst Of It from orcas. Get shit onnnnn

I believe thats about it, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[lyctorgideon]

actually it’s direct action because the whale is washing up on richie rich beaches and stinking up private beachfront houses

how come quirky new england coastal romcoms never involve relentless explosive whalefall??

[demonic0angel]

Can we see Atlantean Death Cult again - but from the JL’s POV?

(Sure! I will preface this by saying that idk what Aquaman is like and I’m just casually taking information from the wiki)

Aquaman urged the other Justice League members. “We must hurry! Before the ritual is finished!”

Batman asked, as he slipped on an oxygen mask, “What is the problem? What is happening?”

“The Coven of Thule is attempting to summon a Death God to do their bidding! They hope to use him to take over Atlantis to destroy the surface world and increase their power!”

Batman asked quickly, “What else do we need to know?!”

“This Death God is capable of destroying anything,” Aquaman said worriedly, “and it’s said that he can swallow stars and kill anyone with a single look. He is cruel and formidable, but he resides in a different dimension, so that’s why we’ve been safe from him until now. It’s also said that when he is summoned, he���ll be in the form of a Mer, but different from what we expect.”

Superman nodded. “Alright, let’s go! Hurry!”

Equipped with technology that allowed them to swim and breathe faster underwater, they all moved. Batman piled into his underwater jet with some other Justice League members while Aquaman and the others jumped onto a whale and sped to the abandoned palace where the ritual was taking place.

They quickly attacked the place and brought down a wall in hopes of distracting the sorcerers, but it was useless.

There was a sacrificed dolphin in the middle of the room, with a raised altar nearby. And on the altar was the Death God. Bare skinned, with white hair and glowing green eyes, he was a Mer with an orca tail, a never before seen combination. His sleek looking black and white tail swished and he watched them all with a cool gaze.

Aquaman and the Justice League rushed to defeat the coven so they could quickly take care of this mad God and hopefully bring him back to his world.

But even then, they were still too late.

The powerful looking containment ritual was broken with a smudge of the God’s tail, wiped away carelessly as if the magic inside was nothing. Aquaman’s heart sank and he tensed. He could hear the Justice League tie up the coven, and he almost wanted to stop them from moving, as if it would’ve helped as the God watched them silently.

The Death God tilted his head at them, his eyes narrowing. His predatory gaze looked as though he was contemplating whether or not to kill them all now or to let them go so he could play later. There were scars on his chest that must’ve been some sort of battle scars from where someone had struck him twice through his hearts, and power radiated from him like heat from the sun, infinite and bottomless.

Aquaman was sure that he was about to die alongside his comrades and he readied himself so he could move as quickly as possible, to do something before they could perish uselessly.

Instead, the Death God just smiled, his sharp teeth baring into large fangs. He waved his webbed fingers mockingly as he smirked.

“Thanks for taking care of them! See you never! Bye!”

And with a twist of his tail, he created a vortex and disappeared.

Silence reigned within the underwater temple.

They were screwed.

[mako-neexu]

IM SO SAD now ulpian's EP makes me so sad first it starts off with a lone whale's cry and it feels like its supposed to be sung with a crew because of the multiple usage of "we". yet there is only a lone voice as he sings of protecting aegir with the hunters. his tone feels that of lament/honoring those fallen comrades...

and the EP animation with gladiia specter and skadi kills me because they are still there, yet he keeps his distance now as things were never the same since that fateful battle... they disappear as the sky grows dark while ulpianus chooses to walk down this path where the risk of becoming fully seaborn is imminent... a lonely path where there wouldnt be anyone to grant him mercy should things come for the worse and be too late...yet the trio comes back again, these beacons of light in his darkness as he hopes he will hope that he may be the first Abyssal Hunter but he hopes that he will not be the last...

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I’m slowly easing back into playing Animal Crossing New Horizons every now and then, here’s my dearly beloved AC home! Hasn’t really changed in years but it clearly doesn’t need to, as you’ll see :D

The main room! Mostly meant to be a shallow reef-like area of the seafloor, though I wanted to have some hydrothermal vent inspiration with the hot bath. Don’t ask me why the vents would be in the shallows shhh. Marine Song 2001 plays here!

The upstairs, the surface of the water! Changes with the seasons, here’s the cold season and warm season variants. Comrade K.K. plays here!

The basement! Naturally the deep sea. K.K. Swing plays here. Added some Crumploids in the mix because I wanted some eerie crunching sounds too, like there’s a whale carcass being devoured somewhere in the dark.

To the left from the main room, a sunken city with lost treasure (perhaps this room could use the blue lighting too, hmm..)! Cafe K.K plays here.

Finally, the room at the back of the main room. I call this “fish birthday” room, it started out as an ominous room you could only access through the Mario pipes when they were added (my sister had pipes as a shortcut and I wanted to prank her a bit) but now the room is always accessible. This is where I put all my fish models I don’t know where else to place. Naturally, K.K. Birthday plays here.

[librarycards]

hello! i apologize in advance this is probably something that you get asked a lot. but do you have any recs on literary magazines to submit to? im a trans poet, ive been writing for over a decade but never shared anything and ive been wanting to try to send my stuff to get it published somewhere. obv ive been google searching but theres so many big and small publications and i was wondering if you have ones you like especially and/or tips on how to choose a magazine/journal to submit to. thanks a lot! <3

no worries, thank you for reaching out!! i've been publishing for like 8 years + an editor for almost 4, so i always appreciate the opportunity to help people new to the world find ethical publications that will treat their work with the care it deserves.

first and foremost: there are going to be pubs out there that are awesome and i don't know about. you may be the one to discover them for yourself! one aid in finding the best mag for your work is the wonderful, writer-created chillsubs. it's a fantastic platform that keeps a huge list of mags and presses and their relevant stats, and lets you create an account and bookmark those you're interested in. everyone i know uses them, and it's very worth it given the sheer volume of mags out there.

i also have some recs of my own, ofc. i'm going to list them below. if they pay (which i prioritize) I'll mark them with a $. some are trans/queer focused and some aren't, but all are pubs i've either edited and/or published with and can confirm their ethics + respect for writers.

manywor(l)ds - my mag! i'm co-founder and eic. break genre _ shapeshift with us. ($)

Sinister Wisdom - old, well-regarded lesbian+ lit mag, now open to everyone who is/loves a dyke. I'm guest-editing an issue on Madness with them, now open for submissions!

fifth wheel press - run by a beloved friend and comrade of mine. i've published here. excellent transparency, care, great for first-timers. ($).

kith books - headed by trans literary icon kat blair. a mag/press/community centered around bodymind non-conformity and noncompliance.

Honey Literary - QTPOC-centered, unabashedly pop-culture + social justice oriented. the vibes are simply immaculate.

Whale Road Review - not queer/trans focused, more oriented toward....'grown up' poetry/prose/pedagogy papers. Katie Manning (eic) is a fucking gem.

Graphic Violence Lit - just had my first experience publishing with them, and their care + consideration for the whole writer is amazing. they publish boundary-pushing work.

beestung - one of the brainchildren of Sarah Clark. nb/gq/2s SFF. I just edited a few guest issues w them and have published with them. amazing work. ($)

A Velvet Giant - genrequeer work. the editors are experienced, enthusiastic, and amazing at promoting writers long after publication. it's a family! ($)

Ethel Zine + Press - handmade with love by Sara Lefsyk (as you can see, trans/nonbinary/2s sarahs dominate indie publishing, as well we should :3). Sara is a sensitive and care-full editor and bookmaker whose every publication is a work of art.

Protean - pro- as in proletariat. awesome left mag with a mix of politics and culture and everything in between. they take reprints! ($)

Mudroom - publish your work along with a picture of your mudroom/shoe rack. very responsive editors who will hype you tf up. ($)

The Institutionalized Review - for psych survivors. the editors concreteness of vision and dedication to their community know no bounds.

Just Femme + Dandy - queer and fashion-focused! led by the inimitable Addie Tsai. They pay *handsomely*. ($)

In addition, there are also some "big" mags I have had excellent experiences publishing with and wanted to shout out. These are harder for a beginner to break into, but worth keeping on your radar + have been fantastic to me as a writer.

Electric Lit

Split Lip Magazine

The Offing

Nat. Brut

Santa Fe Writers' Project

Bodega

New Orleans Review

Augur Magazine

I hope this is helpful to you + others! the literary world is ever-changing and this is just a snapshot. Hopefully you find some that you like!

[hussyknee]

This is, bar none, the funniest fucking completely unironic shit published by a legitimate news outlet:

In recent months, orcas in the waters off the Iberian Peninsula have taken to ramming boats. The animals have already sunk three this year and damaged several more. After one of the latest incidents, in which a catamaran lost both of its rudders, the boat’s captain suggested that the assailants have grown stealthier and more efficient: “Looks like they knew exactly what they are doing,” he said. Scientists have documented hundreds of orca-boat incidents off the Spanish-Portuguese coast since 2020, but news coverage of these attacks is blowing up right now, thanks in part to a creative new theory about why they’re happening: cetacean vengeance. Now that’s a story! “The orcas are doing this on purpose,” Alfredo López Fernandez, a biologist at the University of Aveiro in Portugal, told LiveScience last month. “Of course, we don’t know the origin or the motivation, but defensive behavior based on trauma, as the origin of all this, gains more strength for us every day.” López Fernandez, who co-authored a 2022 paper on human-orca interactions in the Strait of Gibraltar, speculates that a specific female, known to scientists as White Gladis, may have suffered a “critical moment of agony” at the hands of humans, attacked a boat in retaliation, and then taught other whales to do the same. Whatever the truth of this assertion, White Gladis and her kin have quickly ascended to folk-heroic status on the internet. “What the marine biologists are framing as revenge based on one traumatic experience may be a piece of a larger mobilization towards balance,” the poet Alexis Pauline Gumbs tweeted before referring to the killer whales as “revolutionary mother teachers.” Media figures and academics are expressing solidarity with their “orca comrades” and support for “orca saboteurs.” One widely circulating graphic shows a pod smashing a boat from below, above the words “JOIN THE ORCA UPRISING.” (You can even purchase it in sparkly sticker form.) Yet all of this fandom and projection tends to overlook important facts: First, these orcas are likely to be playing with the boats rather than attacking them, and second, if one insists on judging killer whales in human terms, it’s plain to see they aren’t heroes but sadistic jerks.

A shark wrote this.

The recent incidents, none of which has resulted in any injuries to humans, are simply the result of curiosity, Monika Wieland Shields, the co-director of the Orca Behavior Institute in Washington, told me. A juvenile may have started interacting in this way with boats, she said, and then its habit spread through the local community of killer whales. Such cultural trends have been observed before: In the Pacific Northwest, orcas have been playing with buoys and crab pots for years; in the late 1980s, one group of orcas there famously took to wearing salmon hats. Is ramming boats the new donning fish? Shields believes that theory makes more sense than López Fernandez’s appeal to orca trauma. White Gladis shows no physical evidence of injury or trauma, Shields told me, so any “critical moment of agony” is purely speculative. Also, humans have given orcas ample reason to retaliate for hundreds of years. We’ve invaded their waters, kidnapped their young, and murdered them in droves. And yet, there is not a single documented instance of orcas killing humans in the wild. Why would they react only now? And though recent events may fit the story of these orcas’ being anti-colonial warriors, you can’t just anthropomorphize animals selectively. What about all the other “evidence” we have of orcas’ cruelty, or even wickedness? Scientists say they hunt and slaughter sharks by the dozen, picking out the liver from each one and leaving the rest of the carcasses to rot uneaten. Orcas kill for sport. They push, drag, and spin around live prey, including sea turtles, seabirds, and sea lions. Some go so far as to risk beaching themselves in order to snag a baby seal—not to consume, but simply to torture it to death. Once you start applying human ethical standards to apex predators, things turn dark fast.

Oh no, they gleefully torment other animals for sport!! Does this species deserve to have any redeeming qualities???

Perhaps #orcauprising was inevitable. Humanity does have, after all, a long history of freighting cetaceans with higher meaning. Moby Dick is, among other things, a symbol of the sublime. The biblical whale—or is it a large fish?—that swallows Jonah is an instrument of divine retribution, a means of punishing the wicked in much the same way some have framed the boat-wrecking orcas. The whale 52 Blue, known as the loneliest whale in the world because she speaks in a frequency inaudible, or at least incomprehensible, to her brethren, has become a canvas for all shades of human sorrow and angst. Orcas in particular have long been objects of both fear and sympathy, in some cases with an explicitly anti-capitalist tint. The 1993 classic Free Willy centers on a conniving park owner’s scheme to profit off of the bond between a child and a young killer whale. And more recently, the 2013 documentary Blackfish chronicles SeaWorld’s real-life exploitation of captive orcas. The “orca uprising” narrative fits neatly into this lineage. In our present era of environmental catastrophe, Shields told me, it’s appealing to think that nature might fight back, that the villains get their just deserts. But projection and anthropomorphization are only shortcuts to a shallow sympathy. Orcas really are capable of intense grief; they are also capable of tormenting seal pups as a hobby. They are intelligent, emotionally complex creatures. But they are not us.

Someone paid this dude actual money to conclude that Orcas aren't human.

In conclusion:

[a-minke-whales-tale]

Metacommentary on "TikTok Therians" - A Curious Observation

There is currently a lot of discourse regarding tiktok therians and I have noticed something odd. Often when I see people here complain about "TikTok therians" it is their lack of education and not taking things seiously and their views against physical nonhumans and CLCZs (clinical lycanthropes/clinical zoanthropes). Then often in replies there are comments from young therians expressing their frustration that they -do- put in the work and -are- serious and express acceptance of clczs. Today in a discord server someone was complaining of "TikTok therians" and their lack of education and their pushing of holothere and physical nonhuman identity.

This is rather curious naturally as you have two seperate groups hating "TikTok therians" for opposite reasons but similar justification. However, I see plenty on tumblr attacks against physical nonhuman identities, and often even when acceptance is expressed it is done so in a pretty belittling and invalidating way. However though, I have only seen other CLCZs express frustration with this situation. I think for most people on tumblr, you can pretty well curate your experience, and for myself as a CLCZ, it should be little surprise that most of my feed is people either in that community or adjacent communities and largely express support.

I admit I have never used TikTok nor do I have any interest in it or shortform content in general. It makes me wonder though if either "TikTok therian" has simply become shorthand for "a -bad- therian" or if this might be a case of selection bias. Inside my ecosystem on tumblr there is a good amount of support and acceptance of people like me; however should a post come in from outside my ecosystem, it is not uncommon for the person to be against the inclusion of our voices and think that we need therapy and pills or hospitalisation (which I have had all of and I am still a whale). This does though beg the question - do these posts represent a large portion of belief on the site? Or alternatively - has this post entered my ecosystem because someone in my ecosystem got cross about the post and shared it to express their anger? And conversely - is my experience on the site being generally accepting of physical therian identity a result of the site being broadly accepting? Or have I instead simply curated my experience through liking and following people with similar views to me and blocking those who cause me distress and other people blocking myself? It is to be honest hard to know, and it would be honestly difficult to measure.

Conversely to the previous experience, is TikTok in general a platform with low acceptance and tolerance of physical identity? And if so, why then did that fellow from the first paragraph have the opposite experience? I am not myself a TikTok user, thus my experiences of TikTok are primarily others expressing their opinions or sometimes sharing a video clip. Generally if someone is riled up enough to express something that happened on another platform it is going to tend to be anger, and given my ecosystem that will be anger against people condemning physical identities.

This makes me ask - is "TikTok therian" simply a pejoritive meaning "the bad therians"? Do users of the site see those against physical identity and identify them as "TikTok therian" but see users aligned with them and see them not also as a "TikTok therian" but a comrade fighting the good fight? Negative expriences stand out more in the mind, do we simply only see those opposing us and forget the others? Or is the selection bias purposeful, not on our parts but on TikTok's part? There is a collective agreement TikTok is a hellhole, from both therians and the general public alike. This also applies similarly to other social media sites like twitter and facebook. There was at one point information that came out with facebook, I believe, that they would purposefully show things that made people angry because it would drive up use time and interaction. Could TikTok be doing the same? And if they are, is this divide in the community genuine, or exasperated by an algorithm trying to maximise profits for its owners?

On tumblr I have near complete control over my feed. At least my following feed, the people I see there are all my favourite people on the site and is usually the content I want to see, with the only exceptions being advertisements and tumblrs "because of your/your-followed-blog's likes" which I normally either follow, block, or tell tumblr I am not interested aftering seeing it so many times. From my understanding TikTok is entirely a feed, and though I think you can like, follow, and block, much of what you see is determined by an algorithm, and it would be to me entirely expected if that algorithm showed you things that make you angry because then youll watch it longer, you may even comment and share it beyond (and even if not malicious this would be the natural outcome of an ML algorithm targeted to maximize interaction and use time).

I really question if "TikTok therians" as we concieve them in our heads meaningfully exist. Yes there are of course many therians on TikTok and many of them are particularly young; however there are also very many young people on Tumblr as well. While there are a few of us in our 30s or older, there are far far more minors and quite young minors. We should also not forget that while we sit here now, that Tumblrkin was really not so long ago the same concept as current "TikTok therians" and most people here at least would like to consider this a more serious place for therianthropy with the days of the forums behind us. I think in the end, the kids will be alright, and should they find themselves here, for those who are earnest in their therian identity, I will welcome and accept them same as I would one from tumblr or discord or from the forums before.

~Kala

[your-local-hoemie]

HEAR ME OUT SINCE ITS CHILDES BDAY TODAY RIGHT

What if we spend the entire day with him and then when we come home, we give him another surprise *wink wink* (pls tell me yk what i mean 😭😭 i dont know how to say these things withoit feeling awkward)

NS!FW. 18+ ONLY

AAAAA I’M SO SORRY THIS IS LATE!!! I’VE BEEN HIBERNATING!!!

JUST LIKE PRETEND IT’S STILL HIS BIRTHDAY DHXJHCIXJD

My fingers went nYoooooom! Also don’t feel awkward! I hear you and I shall feed you the crumbs of my brain basement

At least I hope this is what you mean otherwise I’m so sorry for your eyeballs-

warnings: ns!fw, Oral spice, lots of spicy words (I went all in for this one aaAAA), swearing, gn!reader, not proof-read.

Characters: Tartaglia (Childe is the worst name for spice istfggggg)

It had been a busy week preparing for the big day.

You could of been doing commissions, relaxing with friends, enjoying the beach and the warm summer sea, but no-

You had been practically ripping your hair out planning for you boyfriends birthday.

Tartaglia was a very… interesting character-

You knew he’d love whatever you got him but the thing is, nothing felt special.

He had the ability to buy anything he wanted, whenever he wanted. So trying to find something that would impress the ginger was becoming more challenging than his impromptu sparring “dates”.

That was until you caught sight of a small, very discreet looking stall hidden behind some crates near Liyue’s harbour that sold silk clothing that definitely wasn’t intended to stay on for long.

And so began your special birthday surprise~

“There’s my birthday boy!”

Running over to Tartaglia, you flung your arms tight around his waist.

The day In question had finally arrived and so had your mildly insane but lovable boyfriend.

“And there’s my favourite comrade! Didn’t miss me too much now did you?”

Smiling wildly, you rolled your eyes at him before the two of you started catching up on what he had been doing the past few days that he was away.

As a few minutes turned into hours, you both talked and walked around Liyue, visiting your favourite spots and giving him a giant whale plushie that you had spent the last few days seeing together, along with a extremely romantic dinner at the Liuli Pavilion.

When I say romantic I mean romantic-

The table was set with candles and silk flower petals, and not a chopstick to be seen, much to the gingers relief.

“You know, you’ve really impressed me this time. I don’t think I could of asked for a better birthday even if I tried”

“Good thing it’s not over then~”

“Not over? Have my irresistible charms finally decided to accept that sparring challenge you’ve been avoiding~”

Rolling your eyes, you promptly paid the bill before you decide to change your mind about the entire plan.

“No, you know I wouldn’t walk out of that alive. Now just shush and follow me”

Taking his hand, you eagerly pull him along in the direction to your home, not paying attention to the endless pestering of your boyfriend who’s curiosity was doing more than struggling to stay contained.

“Is it a surprise party?? Oh wait, did you kidnap someone for me!? Babe you’re so swe-”

“SHH! No I didn’t kidnap anyone and you should know not to say stuff like that while outside!”

Shaking your head in frustration, you finally reached your door.

Quickly unlocking it, you pulled Tartaglia in with a small grunt before closing it behind you.

“Alright, stay right there. I’ll be back now- and don’t get into trouble!”

“Huh? Wait- where are you going?”

With a giggle, you gave him a kiss on his cheek before running to your bedroom and closing the door.

Laying out on your bed was the outfit you got earlier that week.

Without hesitation, you pulled your clothes off and threw them to the floor, quickly putting on the outfit, albeit with some mild confusion to how it went on.

It was made from a delicate silk, framed with lace and ribbons that hung down your body, perfectly framing your figure.

Giving yourself a quick look over in the mirror, you took a deep breath and opened the door, peeking outside just incase your boyfriend was waiting outside.

Once you found the coast clear, you took a step out as started walking to the living room where you could hear him humming while obviously nosing around your belongings.

“Finally. you were taking foreve…r-”

Dropping a book he had been flipping through while waiting for you, Tartaglia’s expression shifted from shocked to embarrassed, then to a dangerously sly grin as the ginger took in your appearance.

“We’ll, well, well~ is it just the weather or did the room suddenly get extremely hotter”

Instinctively shrugging off his attempts at flirting, you took a step closer; placing your hand on his chest you pushed him down to the couch with a smug grin before sliding down between his legs.

“W-wow, really… really not wasting any time today, are we comrade~”

“I don’t want to keep the birthday boy waiting now, do I~”

With a purr in your voice, you began rubbing against his crotch that was already straining from his… impatience~

Working your hands against the growing tent in his pants, your fingers found their way the button before releasing his erection causing a quiet groan from the ginger who was now watching your every move like it was the most important thing he’d ever seen.

“So hard already? Just for me~?”

Grinning even more as you can’t help a sense of pride rush through your body, you placed soft kisses along his tip, moving down his shaft all the way to his balls before repeating the process, refusing to break eye contact with him.

Spending a few more minutes enjoying watching your boyfriend start to squirm and get impatient under your touch as your hand slowly pumped up and down his shaft, pulling out soft grunts of pleasure from him as you do.

Finally deciding that you’ve teased him enough you start to let your mouth do the work for you.

Still locking eyes with him, you rub his tip against your lips, savouring the taste of his pre already forming a pearl.

With one swift motion you slide his length inside your mouth, making Tartaglia let out a sharp moan as he threw his head back in pleasure.

“O-oh fuck… babe that’s… Ngh~”

You be lying if you did admit that it even shocked you a little, how well you took him all in first try.

Hearing him whimper and moan every time you bob your head up and down his length, enjoying his slightly salty taste.

“Archons, babe… keep going just like that~”

Feeling his hips start to buck into your mouth, pushing his length even further down, making you gag a little bit still not discouraging you from reaching your goal.

“Oh fUuck- babe I’m going to cum…~”

Without any time to brace yourself, you felt his fingers grip tightly onto your hair as he thrust his hips harder, causing you to gag even more and grip onto his thighs for support before he finally releasing his load.

“Holy fuck yes~!”

Pulling back to admire his breathless, shaking state, a trail of white dripping down your chin-

You can’t help but feel a little more excitement for the rest of the night as you pull out a pair of handcuffs from the draw next to the couch.

“I hope you’re not too tired just yet, I’ve got a lot more in store for you yet~”

This was so bad, I’m so sorry hdicufif.

I’m back into doing requests as normal now that’s I’m pretty much completely recovered eeeeee I’ve missed it so much T-T