#comrade whale

[bananarchy4ever]

i'm with the orcas 🔥 quote by someone known as "Insurgent S"

[kropotkindersurprise]

April, 2023 - A group of orcas disable a boat near Spain by destroying the boat’s rudders. [video]

[nando161mando]

Comrade whale capsizing a boat today in New Hampshire.

[fullposadism]

Our Revolutionary Comrades Attack

[comradebestie]

my one goal on tumblr is to one day see my own post screenshotted and reposted on pinterest in my feed there

[sephirajo]

Sometimes Facebook is fun.

[where-does-the-heart-lie]

ASL brothers HAIKYUU!! AU!!!!!

Day one of Self Indulgent month for me! I love these three, i love haikyuu, i love killer whales!

(The Naval Academy is this au’s version of marines)

For those who dont know, in Haikyuu (and prob in real life too but in my experience its not as important as they make it in the anime) The "Ace" of the team is the person who primarily scores points via spiking. Theyre the Hard Hitter, basically.

Design talk👇

Originally, i was gonna make their school mascot just "The Pirates" but i couldnt figure out a clever pun with the school name so i scrapped it in favor of an animal mascot. I figured I would have a wider range of puns that way.

I landed on Orcas as the mascot because I think they really embody a pirate way of life. Theyre strong, hang out in groups of a mix of found family and their actual family, hate the rich, and theyre fun loving! And also im a bit biased because theyre my favorite animal, but hey, i said its self indulgent month, didnt I?

Their school name is a play on the word for Killer Whale (Shachi シャチ) and the word for 'knowledge' (Chishiki 知識), i just smashed the two words together. I'm very proud of myself for coming up with that given i dont speak japanese at all.

Anyway, with their designs, I was taking inspiration from orcas to match the design themes of haikyuu. Ace's hair is bleached on the underside to look like the underside of an orca's body, I made ace and sabo's eyes look more whale-like, the clip in sabo's hair is meant to resemble to spots behind orca's eyes, and I tried to make luffy's hair look more like it's round and spiking down more than i usually do.

Ace is wearing a ''way of the ace" shirt in the first picture, Luffy is wearing a shirt that just says "VOLLEY BALL" because i think it would be funny if he wore a bunch of those Zero-context-poorly-translated-random-english-words shirts that theres a bunch of in Asia. Sabo dyes his hair like delinquents do, but it doesnt much look delinquent~y because of how soft it looks. He means to do it to make him look like a delinquent though. Sabo still has his scars in this au, but he uses his hair, arm braces, and leg braces to cover them up. LUFFY AND ACE HAVE FUNKY SOCKS BECAUSE NO ONE CAN TELL THEM (or me) THEY CANT. Sabo wears athletic socks though because he's a debbie downer. He defends himself saying “It’s practical” and Ace and luffy call him “practically a Debbie Downer.”

Luffy is very good at receiving from growing up with Sabo and Ace practicing setting and spiking with eachother and assigning Luffy as Ball Boy. So he got the libero position from that cuz sabo and ace put in a good word for him. Nepotism.

I didn't feel like coming up with designs for them, but Zoro and Bepo are also on their team (theyre in the fifth image sitting on the right of the line of students). Koala and nami are student managers, Robin is the teacher manager, and Franky is the coach. all other straw hats/luffy friends, rev army comrades, and whitebeard brethren are in the stands. Im trying to keep the ages consistent with how they are in canon.

I didnt do a very in depth research, but i couldnt find what Japanese schools have as mascot costumes. and given no one wears any costumes in haikyuu for their team, i can kind of assume they dont use them over there. But unfortunately for them, I'm American. And part of the backbone of our schooling system, is Vaguely Unsettling Mascot Costumes. My sister says my design for it looks like its from Club Penguin, and i find that delightful. [moment of silence for my billions of fallen Puffles, taken from me in The Shutdown] Anyway.

I thought I was clever coming up with the equivalent of the Marines in this au being a Naval Academy. And their mascot being Seals, famously the animal that gets the absolute Worst Of It from orcas. Get shit onnnnn

I believe thats about it, thanks for coming to my ted talk :)

[rotting-decepticon]

MERFORMERS MATING BEHAVIOR

(i may add to this/change things in the future! the au belongs to my friend @muletia ! some merformers don’t have special mating rituals, so if you see one without a courtship ritual, this is why, and they simply court like regular merformers.)

OPTIMUS PRIME (BLUE WHALE/SPERM WHALE)

as a blue whale…

in real life, male blue whales produce complex songs to attract females and establish dominance! this carries onto Optimus himself, making a unique song for his fated mate! as a human, while you may not understand his language nor his intentions, it’s flattering he’d want to sing for you! if you hum/whistle back, expect to be dragged into the water, since you accepted the whales courting song <3

as a sperm whale…

in real life, sperm whale mating involves males competing for females through "jousting" or "sperm whale fencing," where they clash heads to establish dominance, and females may choose the strongest male. Males migrate to warmer waters to breed, but Optimus doesn’t participate in this because he has you <3 he will also fight off any Decepticons or Autobots (he always apologizes to his comrades after) trying to court you until you accept his mating attempts.

RATCHET (SEA LION/WALRUS/CLOWNFISH)

as a sea lion…

in real life, female sea lions initiate courtship and copulation by displaying submissive postures in front of the male, and males are polygamous, mating with more than one female, and maintain territories during the breeding season of May to August, with territorial behavior. merformers however only have one mate, so theirs is a little different. males often fight for territory and protect it, waiting for their mates. usually in their territories are their dens, where they will protect their pups once their mates gives birth, and will protect that den with their lives, especially if they have a mate and pups to protect! if you so happen to be in a submissive posture in front if Ratchet, he may take it as a mating invitation and mount you.

as a walrus…

In real life, adult males make taps, knocks, pulses, and bell sounds underwater to attract females and show superiority. Fighting occur/ between males who “joust” with their tusks, with mating takes place in the water. So for Ratchet, he’ll fight off any other ‘potential mates’ until you accept his mating attempts, where he’ll take you under the water to mate, before taking you to his den.

as a clownfish…

Males attract females through courting behavior characterized by extended fins, biting, and chasing. During spawning, the males become increasingly aggressive. When spawning begins, the male will chase the female to the nest at which time the female will make several passes over the nest until she releases her eggs. In merformers, the female usually passes out after spawning due to exhaustion, where their mate will care for them and the eggs or young (if they give live birth) until they wake up, watching over the eggs/young is shared between parents, one protecting them while the other hunts. For Ratchet, expect him to be following or chasing you around the island and in water, gently nipping and biting at you until you accept his mating attempts!

ARCEE (SEA OTTER)

In real life, Mating is aquatic and often involves violent and prolonged copulations during which the male approaches the female from behind and grasps her face and nose with his teeth, sometimes pulling her head underwater while attempting to subdue her, and will mate with her near taking and on a haulout rock of the female's choosing. So once its mating season, beware of entering the water with Arcee, as she may approach you from behind and begin her mating behavior, even dragging you towards a rock to mate. She’ll make it up to you after, however <3

SMOKESCREEN & BUMBLEBEE (SEALS)

In real life, males initiate true mating behavior by chasing, neck- and flipper-biting, and embracing. When approached, females respond by growling, head-thrusting, and flipper-waving. Copulation usually takes place in the water. For Smokescreen, he may be more or less aggressive, constantly biting, chasing, and embracing you until you accept his advances, with Bumblebee being a bit more gentle since he’s afraid of actually hurting you.

BULKHEAD (MANATEE/SEA TURTLE)

as a manatee…

Mating takes place in the water in a variety of postures. Breeding herds consist of one cow in estrus accompanied by several bulls. An estrus female can be pursued for weeks by several males. The cow often twists and turns violently, apparently to escape her suitors. While Bulkhead isn’t in a breeding herd since almost everyone left the island, during mating season, expect Bulkhead to mate with you as soon as you enter the water, he will apologize after though.

as a sea turtle…

In real life, The male sea turtle climbs onto the female turtle’s back and holds on to her carapace with the long, sharp claws of his front flippers. The way he hooks on to the edge of the female’s shell often results in a scratched shell and bleeding wounds in the soft parts of her body. Copulation can take place on the surface or under water. Because of this, you aren’t safe on land, so be careful! While Bulkhead will try to be gentle with you, it’s hard with his claws.. after mating, he will tend to any wounds he may have left behind.

WHEELJACK (SWORDS-FISH)

In real life, males use their gonopodium to fertilize females, who can store sperm for later use, enabling multiple births from a single mating session. However, since merformers only have one mate for their entire lives, swordsfish merformers will fight for their mates to ward off any potential mates but also as a show of strength, so expect Wheeljack to fight with the others often, to showing off his strength as a potential mate. Please just accept his courtship advances, the poor Autobots already have to fight off the Decepticons they don’t need to deal with a horny and aggressive swordsfish merformer </3

MEGATRON (LEOPARD SEAL/ORCA)

as a leopard seal…

In real life, during mating season, the females and males make long-distance mating calls to each other, and during mating, growl at each other continuously, sometimes the male even bites the other. So be careful humming or whistling too close to Megatron during mating season, as he may think of it as a mating call and you’ll end up being bred by the horny seal.

as a orca/killer whale…

In real life, mating behavior involves both males and females having multiple partners, with mating occurring within stable social groups (pods) and often appearing similar to general play behavior, including chasing, physical contact, and fluke slaps! Since Megatron considers the Decepticons his ‘pod’, expect them to be around most of the mating process, and with Megatron chasing or touching you until you accept his advances!

STARSCREAM (SAILFISH)

In real life, unlike other billfish, sailfish have a unique mating ritual where females attract males by waving their sails above the surface. Spawning occurs with males and females swimming in pairs or with two or three males chasing a single female, male-female pairs form and reproduce through external fertilization, where the female releases her eggs into the water column while the male releases his sperm, which some sailfish may do if they don’t feel like carrying the eggs to term. At first, after ‘courting’ you (aka you just showing off something to Starscream and him mistaking it for courting), Starscream may at first attempt said external fertilization, only to be confused when you don’t produce eggs. Eventually he mates with you regularly after recovering from his embarrassment.

SOUNDWAVE (OCTOPUS/STRINGRAY)

as an octopus…

In real life, when it’s mating time, the male will stand in an arched posture and use a pumping action to maneuver their spermatophore (a along the length of the arm which holds rows of sperm called a spermatophore) down their arm till it lands safely in their hectocotylus (basically the ‘sex arm’, since octopi have no genitals) Their sperm packets travel down their arm about every 15 minutes during an hour-long mating period. Then, a male will mount a female’s mantle in the hopes of making a quick getaway in case she changes her mind while he’s making his sperm deposit. Males must proceed with caution and be tactical in their approach because some female octopuses have cannibalistic tendencies. Because of such, expect Soundwave to be very cautious during mating you, as he also would not want to be eaten, so he will pin you down and restrain you during mating, but will be very gentle as to not cause you harm. After mating however, expect him to be very attentive, at times forcing you to eat if he must. This is because female octopuses usually die after the eggs hatch (in real life female octopuses protect the eggs she lay, but for merformers carey eggs most of the time until they hatch or lay them a week or two before) because she doesn’t eat, and Soundwave doesn’t want you to die! You’re his mate, after all…

as a stingray…

in real life, stingray mating behavior involves males pursuing females, often biting their fins and body, with some bites preceding copulation to maintain contact, and females may flee from persistent males. So if you’re in water, beware of Soundwave, as he will bite and pursue you until you agree to mate.

SHOCKWAVE (JELLYFISH/ANGLERFISH)

as a jellyfish…

In real life, while most jellyfish reproduce by releasing sperm and eggs into the water, some species, like Copula sivickisi, have a more elaborate mating ritual involving a "courtship dance" where the male uses his tentacles to grab a female, drag her around, and then transfer a sperm packet to her, which she then stores in her stomach. When Shockwave realizes you can’t just release eggs like his species can, he’s fine with doing it the ‘regular way’, being careful not to sting you. He’s not embarrassed like Starscream, since he realized more quickly than the other did.

as an anglerfish…

In the bizarre mating ritual of some deep-sea anglerfish species, tiny males latch onto much larger females, often permanently fusing with them, becoming a sexual parasite and relying on the female for nutrients, while providing sperm for fertilization. While Shockwave is.. aware of his species “un logical” way of reproducing, he may have some small, unique traits even if he won’t.. “fuse” with you. For example, if you were to eventually carry the creatures (affectionate) eggs, expect him to latch onto you and be a bit more clingy (in his own ‘cold’ way), and barely leaving your side, only leaving to hunt for food for the both of you.

KNOCKOUT (LIONFISH/"BLUE DRAGON" or Glaucus atlanticus)

as a lionfish…

in real life, lionfish mating involves males initiating courtship by searching for females, resting beside them, and then circling before ascending to the surface with the female, where they release two mucus-coated egg clusters that are then fertilized by the male. Knockout, since he’s more familiar with humans than the other Decepticons, knows this won’t work, so he settles for simply doing it the other way. He will, however, still circle around you anytime you’re in water, both because he’s happy to see you but also to show you’re his mate, not anyone else’s!

as a blue dragon…

Blue dragons, being hermaphroditic sea slugs, require mating with another individual to produce viable eggs, and their mating behavior involves careful navigation to avoid stinging each other, resulting in strings of eggs laid on floating objects. Knockout is very careful not to accidentally poison or sting you while mating, and if you are hurt when mating, he will be quick to tend to you.

[lyctorgideon]

actually it’s direct action because the whale is washing up on richie rich beaches and stinking up private beachfront houses

how come quirky new england coastal romcoms never involve relentless explosive whalefall??

[bitebitekxll]

Childe w/ an Autistic SO

Notes: This was meant to be a self-indulgent thing for Valentine’s Day but then my internet broke around then so happy late February I guess? Yes I am autistic, and yes Childe is my favourite, so enjoy (also obligatory ‘I’m basing this on my experience of autism, which isn’t universal’ reminder)

Fun fact, the pattern recognition part is literally how I solve like 90% of genshin puzzles, very handy… except for when it randomly stops working.

CW: Very light sh mention during the meltdown part (hitting/biting). Skip the end of the post if you need to <3

✧ 𝐏𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Childe cooks for his siblings all the time, so of course he’ll do the same for you! He might be strict about making sure you eat healthy— gotta keep you fighting fit, after all —but if there’s something you genuinely can’t stand, it’s off the menu without question. Eating should be enjoyable, a time to enjoy the presence of your friends or family while having a delicious treat, and anyone who even dares to suggest you’re acting ‘spoiled’ or ‘rude’ by not wanting to eat certain foods will quickly find themselves facing the brunt of our boy’s pretty dead eyes. Whether it’s a food that could send you into a meltdown from the sensation, or just something you have a mild distaste for, you never need to justify or explain yourself to him.

Just say the word comrade, and you’ll never have to touch that dish again~

✧ 𝐒𝐎𝐂𝐈𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Not up for socialising? Don’t worry, he’s charming enough for the both of you! It doesn’t matter if you always struggle with social interaction, or if you’re just not able to handle it in that specific moment, he’ll direct all the attention away from you. If someone doesn’t get the hint that you don’t wanna talk, he’ll be happy to scare them off for you. He’s basically an excitable murderous big dog.

✧ 𝐏𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐍 𝐑𝐄𝐂𝐎𝐆𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

There are all sorts of treasures and secrets littered around Teyvat; ruins and domains and alcoves hidden behind tricky mechanisms. And with your wandering hands idly finding the correct combination to get through a puzzle, you and Childe can breeze straight to the fun stuff! Especially because these places are usually crawling with monsters for him to fight.

You can downplay it all you want, say it’s just ‘dumb luck’ and that you have no idea how you figure out what to do, that you’re not smart and just following a gut feeling, it all goes in one ear and out the other. Childe’s too busy cheering and he scoops you up and spins you around, celebrating both your ability and the fact that he doesn’t have to bang his head against the wall trying to figure it out himself.

✧ 𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ✧

The first time you get overstimulated he’ll panic, hating to see you in distress but not knowing how to help. But after you talk about it, and he experiences it a few times, he will effortlessly be able to do whatever you need from it. You’re his love, after all, and he takes your well-being more seriously than any battle,

He will absolutely abuse his position as a Harbinger to make sure you can get somewhere quiet whenever and wherever you need it. His office at Northland Bank, the Goth Hotel in Mondstadt, a private room in any high end restaurant nearby— there’s nowhere he can’t get in with a mix of money, power, and intimidation.

✧ 𝐒𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐆 ✧

Constantly gets you little trinkets and mechanisms to stim with. It’s similar to the toys he gets for Teucer, but palm-sized and with a few modifications. A little ruin guard with a top half that spins, a squishy Sumeru Fungus with giant adorable eyes, a small whale keychain with a felt underbelly that you can scratch— anything sensation you could ask for, he’ll get it made for you. At a certain point you wonder if he actually does have a secret side hustle as a toy seller (though likely not for long, considering he gives it all to you for free. Not exactly the best business model.)

✧ 𝐌𝐄𝐋𝐓𝐃𝐎𝐖𝐍 ✧

With battle senses as honed as his, and the way he starts watching you like a hawk when he sees you in distress, he can practically act before the meltdown even hits. Childe will put his hands in the way to take the brunt of any hit you aim at your head or bite you target your arm with. Every. Single. Time. Don’t worry if you leave a bruise, he can barely even feel it compared to the injuries he’s used to!

And hey, if you can feel beforehand that you might hurt yourself, you can just hurt him instead! …don’t give him that look, it’ll be like a spar! Just swing at him; he won’t even dodge, not if it’ll help. And if it won’t, then he’ll wait for whatever you need like an overgrown puppy. Hugs or space, company or solitude, whatever will help. (He might be a little sad if you wanna be left alone, but he understands— he’ll resign himself to just worrying until he sees you again. He won’t blame you for it, of course not, never, it’s not your fault he wants to spend every second with you.)

TL;DR: our boy is attentive af and will do everything he can to make sure you stay safe and comfy.

[mako-neexu]

IM SO SAD now ulpian's EP makes me so sad first it starts off with a lone whale's cry and it feels like its supposed to be sung with a crew because of the multiple usage of "we". yet there is only a lone voice as he sings of protecting aegir with the hunters. his tone feels that of lament/honoring those fallen comrades...

and the EP animation with gladiia specter and skadi kills me because they are still there, yet he keeps his distance now as things were never the same since that fateful battle... they disappear as the sky grows dark while ulpianus chooses to walk down this path where the risk of becoming fully seaborn is imminent... a lonely path where there wouldnt be anyone to grant him mercy should things come for the worse and be too late...yet the trio comes back again, these beacons of light in his darkness as he hopes he will hope that he may be the first Abyssal Hunter but he hopes that he will not be the last...

[amazingmsme]

A Gift For Gabbers

AN: Damn it feels good to be back! Been writing a lot of different things & had this one on the back burner for a while. Of course it’s an epic fic, what did you expect? It’s another oc fic, but this time it’s about Leander, & I had a blast fleshing out his personality! Still might be a while before I get around to sifting through my askbox, but I do see them. Anyway, hope y’all enjoy!

Leander had always been fairly talkative, especially as a child. He would speak at inappropriate times and get scolded, or harshly shushed. It had made him feel guilty just for being friendly, and he would try his best to keep his mouth shut until he felt it was okay to talk again.

Growing up in a war certainly didn't help. He was young and lively, blurting out whatever came to mind, no matter what his comrades seemed to be doing. He remained oblivious to their annoyance, for the most part. If he hears a particularly heavy sigh, or if they say something, he'll reign himself in. The last thing he wants is to be annoying, but he fears that he comes across that way, more often than not.

He knows he's not the sharpest sword around, but he's a lot smarter than they give him credit for. He just has a hard time focusing, jumping around from thought to thought, and why wouldn't he talk to his friends? When people look at him, they just see a big dumb jock; someone who's only good for fighting and hard labor. He supposed they were right, but that didn't mean he couldn't have a personality.

Leander is just an open, loving guy and he enjoys sharing his passions with those around him. Even if they don't particularly care.

"You ever wonder what might be swimming under the ship?" he wondered aloud, helping Perimedes and Elpenor tie up the sails before a coming storm.

"Nope."

"Not really."

"I think about it every time I look out at the water. I mean, the ocean's just so huge! Who knows what all is out there!" he rambled on, staring at the horizon in awe. Perimedes snapped to get his attention.

"Less chatting, more working. Hand me the rope," he demanded. Leander did as he was told, but continued speaking.

"Sorry, here you go. But we've already seen so many amazing things, just think of what's lurking just out of sight! Dolphins, whales, sharks, sword fish, flying fish-" he listed off, unaware of his friend's growing annoyance. Elpenor was zoning out, or else he would've tried to stop Perimedes from what he was about to say.

"For the love of the Gods, will you just shut! The fuck! Up!" he yelled, cutting him off. Leander froze, snapping his mouth shut as his eyes grew wide with fear. Perimedes yanked the rope hard, fastening the first sail in place. "I swear, you don't know how damn annoying you can be."

"Okay, that's enough!" Elpenor scolded, shocked by the sudden outburst. He looked over to Leander, an apology on the tip of his tongue, but the damage had been done. He looked absolutely crushed.

"O-oh. Yeah, I-I didn't know it bothered you so bad. I'll... I'll just be quiet," he mumbled, staring at the ground as his eyes filled with tears.

Perimedes finally looked at him, wincing when he saw the deflated look on his face. "Hey, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it," he apologized, reaching out to touch his shoulder, only for Leander to flinch away. He never did that...

Perimedes was already feeling guilty, but Elpenor's judging glare made him feel worse.

He tried to lighten the mood, to spark conversation, but Leander didn't take the bait. His words cut deep, and it would take more than a shallow apology to mend the wound. So, they worked in silence.

By the time they fastened the last sail, the first raindrops began to hit the deck. The pair ran below deck while Leander lingered behind. Elpenor turned around when he noticed he wasn't with them.

"What are you doing? Come inside!" he yelled as the wind picked up, the sparse raindrops beginning to fall faster.

"I'm just gathering the loose barrels. Don't want anything going overboard," he brushed off the concern. Elpenor hated leaving him like this, but he doubted he would accept his help.

He ran into Eurylochus in the hall, frantically explaining what happened and how Leander was still up  on the deck.

"I'll talk to him. Just go to your bunk to wait out the storm," he ordered. Elpenor nodded, walking down the hall without another word.

When Eurylochus made it to the deck, he saw Leander carrying a barrel over one shoulder and a box under the other arm, stacking and tying them against the far wall. His hair was wet and matted to his face, his clothes already soaked through and clinging to his body. He was panting, though it was hard to tell if it was from frustration or exertion.

"Let me give you a hand with that." His voice startled him, but he settled once he saw who it was.

"Oh, hey Eurylochus," his demeanor was quiet, almost snuffed. It felt... unnatural. He watched him from the corner of his eye as he helped fasten the last of their equipment. He barely spoke a word the entire time. And while he would normally welcome the silence, he knew what had caused it.

Once they were done, he placed a comforting hand on Leander's shoulder.

"That's the last of it. Why don't we go back inside?"

"Sure. That sounds nice."

~~~

Asterios was watching the storm roll in through the porthole window when the door slammed open.

"Well don't you look... soggy," he deadpanned, looking Leander up and down. His teasing smirk faltered when he saw the look on his friend's face. "Leander? What's wrong?"

Those words were the straw that broke the camel's back. Leander sniffled, wiping his eyes before collapsing in his friend's arms. "What the hell happened, are you okay?" Asterios questioned, patting his back comfortingly, but the movement was still a bit stiff and awkward.

"Am I r-really that a-annoying?" he stuttered, choking back tears. Asterios felt a fire light inside him; whoever has said that was going to pay.

"What? Of course not, big guy. Who the fuck said that?" he questioned, trying to keep the anger from his voice.

"Don't be mad at him, he was just being honest," Leander defended. Asterios pulled away, leveling him with a stern yet caring look.

"Bullshit. Now who was it?" he asked, despite knowing the answer.

"Per-"

That was all he needed to hear before storming out.

Perimedes was lying face down on the bed, hiding his face in the pillows. Elpenor sat next to him with his knees tucked to his chest, looking rather guilty.

Asterios barged in, startling them both. "I hope you're fucking proud of yourself, dick," he hissed, dragging Perimedes up by the shirt. "You like making grown men cry or something?" he questioned, jerking him around.

"Shit, I made him cry?" Perimedes asked, genuine remorse knitting his brows together. Asterios glared at him long and hard before letting go.

"Yeah, well, he's a sensitive guy, and you're an asshole," Asterios said, backing off slightly once he realized how sorry he truly felt. "Just... go make it right," he added before seeing himself out.

When he got back to their room, he found Leander in his bed, wrapped under the blankets.

"Hey bud, how ya feelin'?" he asked, sitting on the foot of the bed. Leander shrugged.

"Fine. Why'd you leave?"

"Just had to go teach your little problem a lesson," Asterios said with a smirk. Leander sat up, staring at him skeptically.

"Oh Gods, you didn't punch him, did you?"

"No, I didn't punch him. But I should've." That made Leander chuckle.

"Thanks," he sighed, leaning his head against his friend's shoulder. They stayed like that for awhile, and Asterios rubbed his shoulder comfortingly. Leander hummed and leaned into the touch.

They both jumped when someone knocked at the door.

Asterios stood and answered the door, frowning when he saw who it was. "Oh. What the hell do you want?"

"To apologize," Perimedes answered shyly. Asterios softened, glancing over his shoulder. Leander nodded in approval, and he stepped aside to let them in before slipping out the door to provide privacy.

Perimedes and Elpenor sat down on either side, sandwiching Leander in between them.

"Are you okay?" Perimedes broke the tense silence. Leander scoffed.

"I guess," he answered curtly. They both frowned at the lackluster response.

"Well that wasn't very reassuring," Elpenor said, smiling when he saw a hint of a smile grace Leander's features.

"I'm fine, really," he insisted, but he didn't even sound convincing to himself. Perimedes sighed and threw an arm around his shoulder. 

"Look, I'm real sorry about what I said back there. I just- I was annoyed, and I lost my temper. So... I'm sorry," he apologized, feeling genuine remorse as he looked at his friend.

Leander smiled and leaned into the touch, wrapping his arms around each of them. "Thanks, I forgive you. But I'll try to keep quiet, I promise," he assured, yet there was an underlying sadness to his words that he couldn't shake.

"You don't have to do that," Perimedes argued softly, guilt gnawing away at his chest at his words.

"Yeah, we love listening to you!" Elpenor chimed in. Leander pulled away, staring at them skeptically.

"Really? 'Cause it seems like you don't..." he trailed off, curling in on himself as he tucked one knee against his chest, wrapping his arms around it.

"We do! It's just... you kinda tend to ramble on, and it can get a little boring," he said before he could think better of it.

Leander gasped, staring between the two. "So what I'm basically hearing is that I'm annoying, and boring, so I should just shut up," he snapped defensively, shocking them both.

"What the hell?"

"That's not what I said!"

"It's what you meant," he stood firm in his stance, arms crossed over his expansive chest. Perimedes sighed.

"I already said I'm sorry! What else do you want from me?" he pleaded, and Leander shrugged.

He truly didn't know what it was that he wanted from Perimedes, but he did know that he wasn't quite ready to forgive him yet. His words had cut deep, and the scars had already settled. The apology was a nice sentiment, but at this point, it might as well be like putting bandages on a stab wound; it could only help so much.

"I dunno. But I really wish you'd just leave me alone right now," he muttered, and Perimedes couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Okay, you're spending too much time with Asterios. It's making you all broody, and I don't like it," he decided. Leander snorted in amusement.

"You don't like a lot of things," he quipped sarcastically, making Elpenor stifle a giggle.

"Okay, that's it! We're not leaving until you have a smile on your face," he boldly claimed.

Leander raised his brows in shock. "Better get comfortable then," he challenged. Perimedes growled and grabbed his hair, flopping back onto the bed in frustration. He glared up at him mockingly.

"Since when did you get so stubborn?" he questioned, sitting back up.

"Since you hurt my feelings."

Leander tensed up as soon as he realized what he just admitted. Perimedes deflated at his words, and Elpenor winced. Apparently, they still needed to work things out.

"C'mon, I said I'm sorry! I didn't mean anything back there!" When Leander didn't answer, he rested his head on his shoulder, laying a hand on his knee.

"You mean that? You're not just saying it to make me feel better?" he questioned, looking between them with wide, sad eyes.

"I don't tend to sugar coat things," he smirked, patting his friend's leg with a friendly squeeze to the knee.

Leander instinctively jerked away, his lips twitching upwards in a shy grin. He had just barely held back a giggle, and he tried to casually hide his smile behind a hand. Elpenor and Perimedes shared a knowing look behind his back, and he repeated the motion, earning a startled gasp and flinch.

"I think I know how to cheer you up now..." Perimedes said, and despite his words, Leander couldn't help but see it as a threat. He leaned away as far as he could, bumping straight into Elpenor.

"Do tell," he taunted, wrapping an arm around his shoulders so he couldn't escape.

"Guys, you don't have to do this," he tried to reason, but a nervous, giddy smile was already playing at the corner of his lips. It wouldn't be the first time he fell victim to one of their attacks. And he'd watch them go after the others often enough to recognize the warning signs. He knew he was trapped.

"Oh, but we do! We gotta make sure you're not upset anymore," Perimedes insisted.

"I-I'm not!"

"You don't sound so sure."

When he opened his mouth to speak, Perimedes began to squeeze his knee, latching onto his other leg for added effect.

"Wahait!" he barked out a laugh, wrestling the offending hands away.

"And what am I waiting for, exactly?" he asked, arching a brow quizzically.

"Um..." For once, Leander's mind came up blank.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Perimedes taunted, going right back to squeezing his knees.

He caved immediately, curling in on himself as he fell victim to bright laughter.

"G-guys, c'mohohon! Behe nihihice!" Leander whined, falling back on the bed in a fit of giggles. For all his protesting, he wasn't trying very hard to protect himself; merely wrapping his arms around his belly as his legs scrambled across the mattress.

"But this is us being nice!" Elpenor taunted, scribbling his fingers between each rib. Leander shrieked and tried to crawl away, only for Perimedes to drag him back by the ankles.

Leander was lying on his stomach, hiding his face in a nearby pillow as he laughed his worries away. Perimedes straddled his legs while Elpenor struggled to pin his arms overhead.

He realized he could probably escape if he really tried, it's not like either one of them were very strong. But... that would be pretty rude, wouldn't it? After all, they were just trying to cheer him up! He's done the same on more than one occasion, so he supposed it was only fair.  Besides, he never turned down a good laugh.

"Yeah! If I wanted to be mean, I'd do this!" he demonstrated by shoving his hands inside his sandals, scribbling against his trapped soles.

"NOHOHO! Gehehet out!" he shrieked, kicking frantically, but all his struggling was useless.

"Aw, what's the matter big guy? Too ticklish here?" Perimedes taunted, lacing his fingers between each toe, making him snort loudly.

"YEHEHES, OHOKAHAHAY?" he admitted through hysterics, and his tormentors couldn't help but to laugh along.

"Is that so? Good to know," he purred, scratching his blunt nails against his arches.

Elpenor added, "Uh oh, you shouldn't have said that. I mean, I can be trusted, but Perry, not so much."

"Oh shut up! Unless you wanna be next!" Perimedes growled, pointing at him threateningly.

"See what I mean?" he asked, pinching up his ribs towards his armpits.

"You're bohohoth hohorrible!" he whined,

"Oh yeah? Who's the worst?" he teased, flashing a proud, cheeky grin.

"Rihihight now? You," Leander managed to huff, bucking his hips in an attempt to throw him off.

"Wow, you hear that Elpenor? He says you suck at this," he goaded, snickering to himself when he heard Elpenor's gasp.

"Excuse me?"

"Nonono I never said that!" he tried to back track, but there was no reasoning with these two. He yanked on his arms, but it was mostly for show as a giddy smile twitched at his lips.

"Eh, it was implied," he shrugged, siding with his partner in crime. He finally reached his destination, swirling a single finger around his exposed pit. Leander jerked away with a bark of laughter, straining to look away as a blush dusted his cheeks.

"Elpenor, plehease! Ihi'm sohohorry!" he whined, arching his back and twisting from side to side.

"Oh so you did mean it!" Elpenor accused, drilling his thumbs in the center of his pits without warning.

"THAHAT'S NOHOHOT WHAT I MEHEANT!" he cackled, muscles straining to yank himself free.

"It's not? Maybe think before you speak," he teased, wrestling his arms back above his head.

"Hehehey!" he whined through boisterous laughter.

"Hay's for horses!" Elpenor shot back, giggling at his own joke as Perimedes reached back to give him a high five.

"Thahat's nohohot even funny!"

"Oh yeah? Then why are you laughing?" Perimedes asked, cocking his head to the side innocently.

"You KNOHOW why!" Leander argued, and he would roll his eyes if he could, but he was a little busy at the moment.

"Really? I don't think so. Elpenor?"

"Beats me. Why are you laughing, Leander?" he played along, darting back down to his ribs to keep him guessing.

"Fuhuhuck ohohohoff!" he sassed, sealing his fate.

"What did you just say?" Perimedes growled, pausing his attack to turn and glare at him.

Leander realized his mistake and began to backpedal, "N-nothing!"

"No, I swear it sounded like you told us to fuck off!"

"That's what I heard," Elpenor chimed in helpfully.

"Just shuhut up ahahalready!"

"Oh you're not in any position to make demands," Perimedes snarked, turning around to face him before clawing at his knees. He kneaded up the side of his thigh towards his hip, slipping his other hand underneath him to attack the side pressed against the bed. Leander snorted and shook his head, trying in vein to curl in on himself.

"Ihi'm sorry! I'M SOHOHORRYYYYY!" he screamed when he found a particularly bad spot where his thigh and hip met.

Perimedes backed off to give him a breather, and Elpenor did the same. Leander laid there gasping for breath, a dazed, giddy smile plastered on his face.

"You promise?"

"By thehe Gods, yes! I promise!" he huffed, rolling his eyes fondly.

"Good. You feel better now? You don't hate us or anything?" he asked, his tone more sincere. Leander blushed and avoided eye contact.

"I could never hate you guys... But yeah. If you need an answer, we're cool," he admitted, unable to stop the way his lips twitched upwards in a smirk.

"Glad you had fun, big guy," Elpenor grinned, reaching over to ruffle his hair before his hand was smacked away.

"What? I-I never said that!" he stammered, cheeks flushing red.

"You didn't have to," Perimedes teased, but there was a touch of tenderness to his words. "You made it pretty obvious," he added with a wink, laughing at the way Leander's gawked at him.

"You can leave now," Leander hinted not so subtly, unable to come up with a witty retort.

"I don't hear you denying it," he goaded further, helping when Leander pounced on him, attacking him with a nearby pillow.

"Because arguing with you is like arguing with a brick wall!" he quipped, hitting him over the head with it. Perimedes giggled as he weakly fought back, shielding himself from the cushioned blows.

"Whatever you say," he purred, and Leander rolled his eyes before smothering the pillow over his face.

"Don't think you're off the hook either," he warned, shooting Elpenor a warning look.

"I would never," he smirked, holding his hands up in surrender.

Leander snorted in amusement and let Perimedes go, but not before thoroughly messing up his hair.

"You two are insufferable."

~~~

Things hadn't changed much, but Leander did make an effort to talk less. If he noticed interest waning in the topic, he'd either change the subject or trail off into silence.

He tried not to let it bother him. He'd brush off the annoyed sighs he'd get in response to his enthusiasm, downplaying his own enjoyment to match theirs. Thankfully, no one really seemed to notice, or so he thought.

Polites noticed how he wasn't as talkative as he usually was and had brought it up to Eurylochus one day. He explained what had happened a few weeks prior, but assured him that Leander was fine now.

"Is he though?" Polites questioned, arching a brow skeptically.

"What do you mean?" Eurylochus asked, unsure where his friend was going with this.

He shrugged. "He just... seems a little sad when he thinks no one cares what he has to say."

"You don't think he's just tired, like the rest of us?"

"No offense, but you're not exactly in tune with people's emotions."

"Fair point."

And that had been that. A short conversation out of concern before the topic was dropped, but it lingered in the back of each of their minds.

Now they sat side by side, rowing in time with the men around them. They had a strong tailwind carrying them, and only a handful of them needed to row. The rest of the crew worked above deck or milled about the living quarters.

Leander sat on the row in front of them next to Asterios, with Perimedes and Elpenor across the aisle. The blond was on another one of his tangents, going on about his favorite kinds of trees.

"And we had this huge mulberry tree in our front yard, and every summer my sisters and I would spend hours sitting in the branches eating berries, and still pick plenty for jams and pies. But my favorite tree," Leander continued rambling on about an old maple tree atop a hill on the outskirts of town, oblivious to his audience's dwindling attention. That is, until he heard a stifled yawn from behind him.

He cringed at the sound, but hoped no one noticed.

"But what about you guys? Anyone else got a favorite tree?" he asked, trying to pass the conversation on to someone else.

"I know the captain does," Eurylochus joked softly, glancing over his shoulder to make sure his friend wasn't there listening. Polites and Eurylochus bumped shoulders, chuckling to themselves.

"Oh lay off him, I think it's romantic," he defended. "I hope I can find someone who makes me feel like that. I didn't have very much luck with the ladies back home, believe it or not," he started on a new tangent, only to hear a heavy sigh.

That was definitely Eurylochus, he knew that sound all too well. He curled in on himself ever so slightly, shoulders hunched.

"But you don't wanna hear about that!" he chirped, forcing a cheerful tone. Asterios cast a worried glance his way, but didn't say anything.

"I do!" Polites reassured, shooting a pointed look at Eurylochus. He rolled his eyes, but stopped when he noticed their friend's shift in demeanor.

Great, now he felt bad.

"Nah, it's okay, I know I'm being boring," he admitted with a shy chuckle.

"No you're not!" Polites gasped, nudging Eurylochus for back up.

"Yeah, what makes you say that?"

Leander scoffed, leaning back as he rowed to stare at him upside down. "For starters, I heard you yawning," he stated bluntly, smirking at the way his jaw dropped in shock.

"I didn't-"

"It's okay, I get it. I know I talk too much, but hey! I'm workin' on it!" he spoke casually, but his movements were faster- more jerky, and Asterios struggled to keep up with the new pace. Elpenor and Perimedes adverted their gaze, sharing a nervous look. They knew what it was like to be on Leander's bad side, and they weren't keen on repeating that mistake.

"You don't talk too much," Polites said, a frown etching his features.

"Whatever you say," Leander sighed, figuring it was better to drop the subject than argue. Polites watched him from behind, brows furrowed. He looked to Eurylochus for help, subtly nodding towards their friend.

He mouthed the words, "do something," and was met with a bewildered look.

"Like what?" he silently asked. Polites shrugged, at a loss for ideas. Eurylochus noticed Elpenor waving frantically across the aisle, trying to get their attention. He nudged Polites and pointed, prompting him to look.

Once he had their attention, he pointed at Leander and wiggled his fingers, sporting a mischievous smirk.

"No," Eurylochus shook his head. Even silent, he tried to seem stern.  Elpenor and Polites both nodded emthusiastically. He caved, throwing his head back in defeat.

Polites cleared his throat and spoke, "Lee?"

"Hm?"

"I'm sorry if we made you think that."

Leander sighed. "It's fine."

Which clearly meant it wasn't.

"... Are you mad?"

From where Asterios sat, he could see his nostrils flare at the question.

"No, but if you keep asking I will be," he mouthed off, earning a quick chuckle from Perimedes and Asterios. His lips twitched in a proud, but fleeting smirk.

"Come on, don't be like that," Polites whined.

"Like what? You're the one dragging this out," he noted. Polites scoffed in disbelief, and Eurylochus didn't need any more convincing.

Leander yelped when he was grabbed from behind, strong arms hooking themselves under his, pulling him backwards until he was halfway between the seats. 

"Look, we're sorry if we don't always pay attention to your stories, but you do tend to ramble on about pretty boring things," he began, startling just about everyone with his blunt words.

"Dude!" Asterios hissed, whipping around to glare daggers.

"Eurylochus!" Polites yelled in shock, watching the way their friend deflated at his words, adverting his gaze. He had practically confirmed all of his fears and anxieties...

"Gee, thanks. You have such a way with words," he muttered sarcastically. Eurylochus rolled his eyes and shook him in his hold, just to grab his attention.

"But, you're our friend, and we enjoy your company, and that's what matters. You're always so passionate about what you're saying, and we enjoy seeing you happy. It shouldn't really matter that we don't know what the hell you're talking about half the time," he finished with a light tease, but barely got half a smile in return. From his position, it was hard to cross his arms, but Leander managed.

A little more blunt than he intended, but he hoped Leander knew what he was trying to say.

He stared up at him from his lap, unimpressed.

"So what I'm hearing-"

Oh no...

"Is that no one listens to me because I'm b-boring, but that shouldn't matter because I'm a happy guy?" he reiterated, voice cracking from held back emotions.

The situation was spiraling out of control, and fast. Polites watched on in shock as Eurylochus scrambled to correct himself.

"I'm sorry, that came out wrong," he tried to explain, but Leander was done with the conversation and struggled to free himself. From his position, he could only wave his arms uselessly and squirm in his seat, so he didn't get very far. He continued, "You know I'm bad with words-"

"Even worse with feelings!"

"Thank you, Polites," he huffed in annoyance, but was unable to keep his smirk at bay. "But yeah, I'm not great with either. I guess what I'm trying to say is, no matter what you talk about, or how many tangents you go on, we're still gonna be your friend, and we do enjoy listening to you. There, was that better?" he clarified, waiting for his response with baited breath.

"A little," Leander conceited with a shrug, not entirely ready to drop the petty act just yet.

"Only a little?" Eurylochus asked, arching a brow.

"Yeah..." he answered, looking him up and down skeptically. He caught sight of Polites lurking closer, sporting a mischievous grin, and he began to struggle.

"And where do you think you're going?"

"Away from you!"

"Really? Well we're on a boat, so good luck with that," he deadpanned, reaching down to pinch his sides.

"Hehey wait aha second!"

"Yeah, don't get started without me!" Polites cheered and began scribbling across his belly. Leander barked out a laugh, scrambling to protect himself from the double attack. He nearly succeeded before Eurylochus adjusted his hold, trapping him in a hug from behind.

"Nohoho don't!" he whined, legs scrambling against the floor.

"Don't what, buddy?" Polites asked innocently, shifting his attention to his flailing legs. He latched onto his knees, drawing out frantic cackles interlaced with a few snorts.

"Tickle mehehe!" he answered; naive and all too trusting. Whatever, Polites knew what he meant.

He knew he was just answering the question; he wasn't thinking straight, he couldn't think straight. Maybe it was mean to take advantage of that. But it was the oldest trick in the book, so if he didn't see that coming, it was his own fault, really.

So yes, Polites knew exactly what he meant. But that didn't mean he had to act like it.

"If you insist!"

"Whahat? WAIT NOHOHO!" he realized his mistake a moment too late, throwing his head back in defeat as deep chuckles rumbled inside his chest.  "Y-you trihihicked mehe!"

"You say that like it was hard," Polites taunted, scribbling behind his knees.

"Hey whahat's thahahat supposed to meHEHEAN!" Leander shrieked and scrambled to escape as ticklish jolts shot through legs, worse than any Charlie horse. He accidentally kicked Asterios in the back, shoving him forward.

"Ow! Y'know, if you guys are gonna do that, can you at least hold him down?" he requested, scooting further away to avoid any more flailing limbs.

"Traitor!" Leander gasped, this time purposefully kicking him between the shoulders, shoving him off the seat.

He whipped around to glare at him, growling, "Okay," as he wrestled his legs down to the bench.

"Thanks!" Polites flashed a grin before attacking his trapped knees.

"Yeah yeah," Asterios brushed him off, looking away to hide the fond smile on his face.

"Guhuhuys! Thihihis ihisn't fahahair!" he whined, trying to twist and squirm away.

"Life's not fair," Eurylochus teased, pinching down his ribcage. Leander arched away from the touch with a giggly scream, falling in the space between benches.

"Seriously?" Leander cried out in frustration, squirming as his friends laughed at his plight.

Eurylochus chuckled and patted his shoulder, "What'd I tell you?"

"This is your fault you know," he grumbled playfully, using his new position to his advantage and squeezing along his thighs. Eurylochus screamed and pulled his legs up out of reach, heat rising to his cheeks.

"Oh shut up."

"Aw, what's wrong? Can't take what you dish out?" he taunted smugly.

"Can you?" he challenged, snatching both his wrists in one hand and raising them above his head.

"Wait ihit's just ahaha joke!" he begged through helpless giggles, tugging weakly on his arms.

With his other hand, Eurylochus wiggled his fingers threateningly, closing in with each passing second until he reached his target. Leander giggled with anticipation, shaking his head frantically despite the giddy smile on his face. He practically screamed when Eurylochus dug under his arm, blunt nails scratching against sensitive skin.

"Please what? For someone so talkative, you sure are having a hard time using your words," he taunted with an evil chuckle.

"Well geeheehee, I wonder whyyYYYY!" Leander scoffed indignantly, shrieking when Polites started pinching down his calves.

"Aw, you're ticklish here? How funny!"

"Shut uhuhup! Don't behehe mehehean!" he whined, kicking weakly as his hands crawled higher to scratch the back of his knees.

"I'm noooot!" Polites taunted, feigning innocence. "If I was mean, I'd do this!"

Leander didn't even have time to guess what he was about to do before he felt hands latch onto his knees, squeezing relentlessly. Deep, bellowing laughter escaped from his chest, legs kicking the air uselessly as he struggled to free himself from between the seats. As soon as he freed himself, Eurylochus snatched him once more.

“GAHAHAH! Lehet gohoho!” he shrieked, scrambling to slap his hands away, only for Eurylochus to snatch his arm once more.

“So knees are a good spot? Noted,” Eurylochus hummed in observation, nodding sagely despite his teasing grin.

“NO! It’s bad! It’s sohoho bad!” he let out a giggly whine, head thrown back in mirth.

“Same difference,” Polites said, giggling when he heard Asterios mutter, “What the fuck, no it’s not.”

“Sure it is! It’s just bad for him and good for us!” he clarified, playful giggle taking on a slight menacing edge.

“You’re evil,” Asterios deadpanned before going back to work, one of the only few left rowing, even if Elpenor and Perimedes were doing a half-assed job while they watched.

“Coming from you that means a lot,” he quipped. Asterios sputtered in shock, whipping around to glare at him for a split second before turning back around, elbowing him as he pulled the oar back.

“Ow! It was a compliment!”

“Mine wasn’t,” Asterios taunted, tilting his head ever so slightly, just enough for Polites to see the tug of a smirk playing at his lips.

“Hey! Do I have to get you next?��� he threatened, noting the way Asterios bristled at his words.

“Hell no, just keep doin’ what you’re doin’,” he brushed him off, excusing himself from the conversation.

“Whahahat? Nohoho! C’mohon guys, hehehelp me out!” he begged, expecting at least one of them to come to his aid.

Nothing.

“Plehehease?”

“Sorry, you’re on your own,” Perimedes said, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly.

Leander gasped in shock, nearly choking on the laughter caught in his throat. There was only one option left.

"HEHEHELP! THEY'RE KIHIHILLING MEHEHE!" he called out desperately, seeing as no one down there was keen on saving him.

"Oh don't be so dramatic!" Polites taunted as he scribbled behind his knees.

Eurylochus barked out a laugh of amusement, cupping one hand around his mouth to shout back, "NO WE'RE NOT!"

Asterios, Elpenor, and Perimedes couldn't help but chuckle along, too amused to save him from his plight.

Eurylochus shifted his hold to more of a hug, taking the opportunity to dig into his sides. Leander doubled over as best he could, deep, rumbling belly laughs filled the air, reaching the upper deck.

At first, Odysseus was happy to ignore the sound, having grown used to the crew's antics by now, and besides, they could fend for themselves.

But then he heard the poor soul beg for help…

The group below deck was far too preoccupied to notice the footsteps walking down the stairs, nor the fact that their captain now stood in the doorway. He watched on with an amused smirk, shaking his head fondly.

Finally, he cleared his throat, announcing his presence, but only Perimedes seemed to notice, trying his best to tip them off to his presence.

"Really guys?" They both jumped at the sound of his voice. Eurylochus dropped Leander in shock, and he fell to the floor, still trapped between the benches. Polites didn't seem to care about that, taking the opportunity to scribble over his belly. "I expect this sort of thing from Elpenor and Perimedes-"

"Hey!"

"We're right here!"

"But I thought you were more mature than that," he teased, yanking on the back of Eurylochus's shirt as he walked by.

Eurylochus shrugged, flashing a smug smirk. "Morale was low."

"Uh huh." Odysseus didn't believe him for a second.

"He totally needed this!" Polites added, reaching over to tweak his side, earning a giggly yelp as he flinched away.

"Lihihiars! They're harahahahassing mehehe!" Leander spoke up, sporting a wide, dopey grin as he tried to squirm away, scrambling to pull himself upright in the tight space.

"Nu uh, we're just cheering him up! Right Asterios?" Polites argued, calling for back up. Asterios glared at him from the corner of his eye when he was suddenly dragged into the discussion, wings pressed flat against his head in annoyance.

"Why d'you gotta drag me into this?"

"'Cause you know we're right!"

Odysseus chuckled, looking to Elpenor and Perimedes for guidance. "So who's really telling the truth?"

The pair shared a look before Elpenor answered with an innocent smile, "Eurylochus and Polites had nothing but good intentions."

"That's bullshit, Captain!" Leander gasped in shock.

"I dunno, I trust my first mate to know what he's doing. If he says morale was low..." Odysseus trailed off, clicking his tongue. "Then maybe you deserved it."

"Whahahat?" he cried out in disbelief. "Noho I dohohon't!"

Polites and Eurylochus barely held back their own amused laughter as their captain came to their defense.

"Don't you always say laughter is the best medicine?" Odysseus asked, feigning innocence with a sly chuckle.

"Y-yeah, but nohot for mehe!" he whined, finally managing to crawl to the main isle and sit upright, heaving for breath. He shrieked and tucked his legs close to his chest when Polites tried to swipe his ankles.

"Okay, hypocrite," Perimedes taunted, having heard that justification used on him.

He rolled his eyes, breaking under the light interrogation. "Okay, fine, so maybe I was being a little difficult-"

"Oh only a little?" Polites taunted, giggling as he dodged a playful kick.

"You know, I was debating whether or not to get revenge, but you just made that decision for me," Leander teased right back.

"Nooo wait," Polites whined, staring up at him with his best puppy eyes as he leaned against his shoulder. Leander scoffed in amusement, but didn't shove him off.

"Nope, too late, you can't stop it," he rambled, ignoring the indignant sounds of protests from his friends.

"Uh oh, looks like you better sleep with one eye open tonight," Odysseus can't help but chime in, earning an eye roll from Eurylochus and a betrayed glare from Polites.

"Very funny, Captain."

"It was, wasn't it?" he mocked, flashing a smug grin. "But if I leave, can I trust you to get back to work? I'd prefer if the ship were actually moving," he said pointedly, nodding to the abandoned oars.

The men sheepishly picked them back up and began rowing once more.

"That's more like it. You can torture each other on your own time," he teased, cackling at the way they yelled at him as he trotted away.

"He's one to talk," Asterios mumbled once he was out of earshot. Leander shook his head and chuckled as he took his seat.

"Yeah, I wonder where these two get it from," he said, pointing a thumb behind his back where Eurylochus and Polites sat.

"Hey, I'll have you know I actually taught him a thing or two," Polites spoke up rather smugly. Eurylochus looked at him from the side, arching a brow skeptically. "Don't act shocked!"

Eyrylochus smirked, looking straight ahead and shrugged, "Didn't say anything."

"I know that look."

They bickered back and forth, all the while Leander listened in with a fond smile.

Yeah, they liked him, even if he did tend to ramble. And damn it if he didn’t like them back, as annoying as they were.

[fishyfishyfishtimes]

I’m slowly easing back into playing Animal Crossing New Horizons every now and then, here’s my dearly beloved AC home! Hasn’t really changed in years but it clearly doesn’t need to, as you’ll see :D

The main room! Mostly meant to be a shallow reef-like area of the seafloor, though I wanted to have some hydrothermal vent inspiration with the hot bath. Don’t ask me why the vents would be in the shallows shhh. Marine Song 2001 plays here!

The upstairs, the surface of the water! Changes with the seasons, here’s the cold season and warm season variants. Comrade K.K. plays here!

The basement! Naturally the deep sea. K.K. Swing plays here. Added some Crumploids in the mix because I wanted some eerie crunching sounds too, like there’s a whale carcass being devoured somewhere in the dark.

To the left from the main room, a sunken city with lost treasure (perhaps this room could use the blue lighting too, hmm..)! Cafe K.K plays here.

Finally, the room at the back of the main room. I call this “fish birthday” room, it started out as an ominous room you could only access through the Mario pipes when they were added (my sister had pipes as a shortcut and I wanted to prank her a bit) but now the room is always accessible. This is where I put all my fish models I don’t know where else to place. Naturally, K.K. Birthday plays here.

[balrogballs]

Night-Creatures

an indulgent little Russingon vignette/out-take from the postcolonial AU, featuring a quietly queer moment in the margins of the world 🥰 light-study painting mine as well, from mid 2021.

“Hush. We would be Maedhros-and-Fingon in every country in every world,” Fingon says, gently tracing the edges of a tangle with the pointed end of the comb, his toes half-buried in the sand. “Because we have been Maedhros-and-Fingon since we were six and gave the school daily frights when we would run away from under their eye to go fishing in potholes. Maedhros-and-Fingon, the teachers would say — stretch out your hands.”

“And you would always put out two hands and take my punishment too, because I used to cry at the sight of the ruler. Do you remember? Always, you and I, back-benchers, class-skippers, pothole-fishers. Maedhros loves Fingon, and Fingon loves Maedhros, and it will be so always. Terror charge or tsunami. It will be so always.”

“Maedhros loves Fingon, yes,” Maedhros looks out at the sea, watches the red sun bobbing slowly over it like a distant lure, calling to elsewhere. “It will be so always. But why does Fingon love Maedhros? Does Fingon wish to spend his future as the keeper to a rabid dog leashed to a rotting post? He is better than such a life. How can Fingon love Maedhros? In his rage, his stasis, his destructiveness?”

“Because he does,” he feels Fingon shrug, as if it all truly is as simple as loving unconditionally. “Because when Maedhros was eight years old he knocked his own brother’s tooth out for calling his Fingon a sissy. When Maedhros was thirteen, he thrashed a twenty year old for the same. That has always been what sits within the rage and destructiveness of Maedhros.”

“Love is just another way of looking at something. Squinting, glaring, scanning, loving. And what Fingon sees in Maedhros as he loves him, is too unexplainable and complex to be confined within the four rigid corners of a single photo. So, don’t ask me silly questions like why.”

Maedhros nods, leans back onto Fingon’s knees and lets him brush his hair out. On the sand, Fingon realises, Maedhros is neither six-foot-four nor the ineffable Comrade, the swallower of worlds, the breaker of knees, he who shatters the earth. Here, away from solid ground, he looks at Fingon with the quiet, terminal exhaustion of a beached cetacean. The way a whale drying out on the sand looks at the first person to come across it, the hopeless, grateful gaze of an irremediable calamity.

He never despairs at what Maedhros is. No, the only thought that ever brings despair to Fingon, is the thought of what he could have been. The artist. The scholar. The marks of violence, Maedhros’ scabbed knuckles marking each election season, the scars on his back, such things never grieve Fingon. He does not mourn the present. No, what he grieves are the dog-eared old textbooks secreted in Maedhros’ drawers, the scraps of poetry torn out of books, the left-handed sketches of a right-handed man. He loves the Maedhros who is, and mourns the Maedhros who might have been.

He lowers his eyes, starts easing out another tangle as the stars start winking awake overhead. And it’s the most natural phenomenon in the world, Maedhros-and-Fingon in the dark, primordial nocturnal creatures crawling out of the day. The sunset carves the hollow through which they disappear each night and cease to exist outside of the queer spaces where their bodies touch. Each night happens and unhappens like a handshake; gentle and unchaste, an exchange of comfort, keeping-time with heartbeats, until the sun rises again and Maedhros-and-Fingon are swallowed by the empty dawn.

[hussyknee]

This is, bar none, the funniest fucking completely unironic shit published by a legitimate news outlet:

In recent months, orcas in the waters off the Iberian Peninsula have taken to ramming boats. The animals have already sunk three this year and damaged several more. After one of the latest incidents, in which a catamaran lost both of its rudders, the boat’s captain suggested that the assailants have grown stealthier and more efficient: “Looks like they knew exactly what they are doing,” he said. Scientists have documented hundreds of orca-boat incidents off the Spanish-Portuguese coast since 2020, but news coverage of these attacks is blowing up right now, thanks in part to a creative new theory about why they’re happening: cetacean vengeance. Now that’s a story! “The orcas are doing this on purpose,” Alfredo López Fernandez, a biologist at the University of Aveiro in Portugal, told LiveScience last month. “Of course, we don’t know the origin or the motivation, but defensive behavior based on trauma, as the origin of all this, gains more strength for us every day.” López Fernandez, who co-authored a 2022 paper on human-orca interactions in the Strait of Gibraltar, speculates that a specific female, known to scientists as White Gladis, may have suffered a “critical moment of agony” at the hands of humans, attacked a boat in retaliation, and then taught other whales to do the same. Whatever the truth of this assertion, White Gladis and her kin have quickly ascended to folk-heroic status on the internet. “What the marine biologists are framing as revenge based on one traumatic experience may be a piece of a larger mobilization towards balance,” the poet Alexis Pauline Gumbs tweeted before referring to the killer whales as “revolutionary mother teachers.” Media figures and academics are expressing solidarity with their “orca comrades” and support for “orca saboteurs.” One widely circulating graphic shows a pod smashing a boat from below, above the words “JOIN THE ORCA UPRISING.” (You can even purchase it in sparkly sticker form.) Yet all of this fandom and projection tends to overlook important facts: First, these orcas are likely to be playing with the boats rather than attacking them, and second, if one insists on judging killer whales in human terms, it’s plain to see they aren’t heroes but sadistic jerks.

A shark wrote this.

The recent incidents, none of which has resulted in any injuries to humans, are simply the result of curiosity, Monika Wieland Shields, the co-director of the Orca Behavior Institute in Washington, told me. A juvenile may have started interacting in this way with boats, she said, and then its habit spread through the local community of killer whales. Such cultural trends have been observed before: In the Pacific Northwest, orcas have been playing with buoys and crab pots for years; in the late 1980s, one group of orcas there famously took to wearing salmon hats. Is ramming boats the new donning fish? Shields believes that theory makes more sense than López Fernandez’s appeal to orca trauma. White Gladis shows no physical evidence of injury or trauma, Shields told me, so any “critical moment of agony” is purely speculative. Also, humans have given orcas ample reason to retaliate for hundreds of years. We’ve invaded their waters, kidnapped their young, and murdered them in droves. And yet, there is not a single documented instance of orcas killing humans in the wild. Why would they react only now? And though recent events may fit the story of these orcas’ being anti-colonial warriors, you can’t just anthropomorphize animals selectively. What about all the other “evidence” we have of orcas’ cruelty, or even wickedness? Scientists say they hunt and slaughter sharks by the dozen, picking out the liver from each one and leaving the rest of the carcasses to rot uneaten. Orcas kill for sport. They push, drag, and spin around live prey, including sea turtles, seabirds, and sea lions. Some go so far as to risk beaching themselves in order to snag a baby seal—not to consume, but simply to torture it to death. Once you start applying human ethical standards to apex predators, things turn dark fast.

Oh no, they gleefully torment other animals for sport!! Does this species deserve to have any redeeming qualities???

Perhaps #orcauprising was inevitable. Humanity does have, after all, a long history of freighting cetaceans with higher meaning. Moby Dick is, among other things, a symbol of the sublime. The biblical whale—or is it a large fish?—that swallows Jonah is an instrument of divine retribution, a means of punishing the wicked in much the same way some have framed the boat-wrecking orcas. The whale 52 Blue, known as the loneliest whale in the world because she speaks in a frequency inaudible, or at least incomprehensible, to her brethren, has become a canvas for all shades of human sorrow and angst. Orcas in particular have long been objects of both fear and sympathy, in some cases with an explicitly anti-capitalist tint. The 1993 classic Free Willy centers on a conniving park owner’s scheme to profit off of the bond between a child and a young killer whale. And more recently, the 2013 documentary Blackfish chronicles SeaWorld’s real-life exploitation of captive orcas. The “orca uprising” narrative fits neatly into this lineage. In our present era of environmental catastrophe, Shields told me, it’s appealing to think that nature might fight back, that the villains get their just deserts. But projection and anthropomorphization are only shortcuts to a shallow sympathy. Orcas really are capable of intense grief; they are also capable of tormenting seal pups as a hobby. They are intelligent, emotionally complex creatures. But they are not us.

Someone paid this dude actual money to conclude that Orcas aren't human.

In conclusion: