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chronicbatfictioner · 3 years ago

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Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 17

Jason was having the time of his life.

Dick was sure of it. He might grump and sulk a lot more than before, but Dick was sure that he was having fun. Sure, guarding Damian might be a little more than tasking, after a while - especially since Damian was so certain that he could face Bane alone if it comes down to it, conveniently ignoring the fact that: a. he's ten and practically one-tenth of Bane's size; b. the Waynes most likely would detest having to clear intestines off the marble floor if Damian were to be let near a katana and/or Bane, and c. Alfred definitely would detest cleaning intestines or parts of Damian off the floor or walls.

And d. Bruce Wayne seemed to actually enjoy having Damian around and has no qualm in talking to Damian as if he was twice his age. Bruce's age, that is. Not Damian's. Dick suspected that Bruce has spent a lot of time talking to 60-year-olds.

But there were numerous forms of excitement that were offered by the Wayne Manor. First and foremost were the cars. Dick has never learned to drive - being a Talon kind of impeded the learning process of 'common human things'. Jason, however, was an excellent driver. He had mentioned something about being a getaway driver in warzones, and Dick couldn't be sure if he was telling the truth or joking. Either way, he rather enjoyed it whenever he and Jason had to take Damian somewhere in town.

Except for today, as somebody seemed to have tampered with the car.

It wouldn't brake, and they were cruising really, really fast.

Hence Dick's belief that Jason was having fun. He did not look perturbed at the slightest as he controlled the car, swerving crazily over the backroads, making sharp u-turns instead of going into the city roads and went back where they came from. Within a mile from the Drake House's gate, Jason finally managed to cut down the speed to the point where the car's engines died and it rolled to a stop. On the Drake House's gate.

"Seriously, people," Tim remarked dryly as they walked in - leaving the car at the gate and settling their respective adrenaline back down. "I've heard of visiting the neighbors, but must you be like, dying and/or damaging people's property before you come here to say hi?"

"The car was tampered with," Damian reported. "Must be the brute. And I shall replace your gate, Drake."

"I think I'm down to like, eight lives. No-- seven." Dick admitted, "my heart's still beating a hundred miles per minute. Good thing, though, at least that way I know I'm quite alive."

"Dick, you're a bird. Not a cat." Tim deadpanned. His eyes never leaving Jason, who had lit up a cigarette as he walked through the house. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since I was eleven," Jason replied. "And since I walked into a house that has laser triggers that were set up by a lunatic. Smoke worked to reveal them all."

"I'm... partially scowling because smoking kills. But I suppose laser triggers would kill faster..." Tim replied.

"The lasers are used to trigger booby traps just about Damian's height. If he were to be a common kid and run around the house, he'd be decapitated within the first few days." Jason continued bitterly. "What the fuck is wrong with that giant lump of steroids, anyway? He was ready to kill a child!"

"The nutshell version is that the child would prevent his usurping the Waynes' wealth." Tim pointed out. "The long version is that I don't think he's really the child of Dr Wayne, the Waynes know of it, and they're literally being held hostage in their own home. Also, you people are being watched, too, by drones. I've asked Harper to kill those drones for entering my property."

Tim then explained Bruce's visit and the USB. "Oracle has contacted him and told him we... the Birds, that is - are investigating the evidence."

"How long until we can punch the asshole out of the house for good?" Jason demanded, accepting a bottle of water Tim handed him. Slowly and gently. Making sure his fingers brushed Tim's. And Dick had to swallow a grin.

"That, unfortunately, would be up to the GCPD. Did you guys saw the news? Vicky Vale's article on Damian?" Tim... preened a little, waving his hair as he walked away from Jason. Dick's lips itched, he wondered if Barbara or the other girls -- if Selina or Dinah have noticed this. The two were definitely flirting.

"I have seen it. It had good pictures of my mother and grandfather, and quite... adequate descriptions of both of them." Damian replied. "Evidently father has made a comment to the writer about me looking like him when he was my age."

"Well, you kind of do look like him, except for the green eyes." Dick pointed out. Bruce's eyes were blue - like both his parents. But from the photos of little Brucie around the house, Dick could see a little of Martha Wayne in Damian's still-round face. "When did Bruce make the comment?"

"Oh, Vale called him." Tim snickered. "She still has his personal number, and she commented something about hearing a - quote: 'constipated buffalo sounds in the background' - unquote. She was also wondering if Bruce was in a bullfighting ring somewhere."

"Seriously?" Dick laughed.

"Seriously. Even Barbara couldn't stop laughing hearing that." Tim assured him. Jason rolled his eyes but looking amused, anyway.

"Sooo... a possible off-road accident for the apparent heir is in the books?" Jason suggested.

"I won't put it past Bane. Damian...?" Tim started. But Damian already nodded in acknowledgment.

"I shan't eat anything that is not presented by Todd or Grayson, nor will I frolic the manor on my own. This shall be more to bear witness to your insinuation of my 'child-like' behavior than to take care of me, Drake, as I am quite capable of sustaining my own life." Damian scoffed.

Tim paused visibly for a good two seconds, before nodding, "of course. Furthermore, I can assure you that Alfred is safe, mainly because as a butler, his focal interest would be the actual Waynes. That's in his training - unless an offspring is publicly announced, they are not to be cared for by the Butler. In Wayne Manor, the proverbial child would solely be Bruce - for obvious reasons, and Damian, whom Bruce has publicly acknowledged." Tim explained.

"He was in MI6," Jason remarked. "Alfred, that is. Not Bane. It would be safe to say he's loyal. He told me of the booby traps and that Bane has a daily dose of injection of the steroid-like substance. But I-- we shall prepare you emergency rations - just in case, anyway."

"You guys can always drop by here. And don't think that Damian would be Bane's only target." Tim reminded. "If I was him, I'd take out the big guns - that is you two - first; and then Bruce, because he'll want to be protective of his son; and then Dr and Mrs Wayne last."

"Then I'm afraid you are forgetting one of the members of the household that is most dangerous, Master Tim," a voice spoke; Jason pulled out his gun, Damian automatically hid behind him while pulling out a small dagger.

Dick wanted to lunge right toward the source of the voice until he realized that it was Alfred Pennyworth, both hands raised up to show that he was unarmed.

"How...?" Jason growled, "I didn't hear the front door open."

"Apologies, gentlemen. I should have informed you that there is an underground passageway between the two houses that were once used frequently, but now has all been forgotten." Alfred explained. "You were right that I was in MI6, Jason; as you were right that my focus will and forever shall remain the true Wayne blood, Master Tim. Not ones who claimed as such and refused to provide irrefutable evidence."

"Does Bane know of this passageway?" Tim asked.

"It is located in the staff's wing, and as he is not permitted to be there, I sincerely doubt it," Alfred replied. "I have my own... booby traps and surveillance that should tell me if anyone has been there." he smiled. "I am aware that both of you have prowled the entire house at one point or the other in the past few weeks." he nodded toward Jason and Dick. "You were stealthy, indeed."

"But not stealthy enough?" Dick quipped. "I gotta go back to training... Anyway, why are you here?"

"I saw your vehicle's mishap and its stop here. If anything, Bane is not... stealthy enough." Alfred pulled out a small memory card. "To get to the garage, one must pass the servants' hall. And the garage is my province."

Tim accepted the memory card, plugged it into his cellphone; and then projected its content to a wall. "Huh... this should be enough evidence of tampering..." Tim commented. The memory card showed a clear date stamp - that morning, a few hours before Bane and the Waynes left the house. It also showed Bane himself, jacking the car that was now resting with a dented bumper at Tim's gate, while holding a plier.

"Anyone watching our car now?" Dick commented. "Won't be cool to have it suddenly fixed, will it?"

"Harper should be. Plus, y'all are on my property. If he trespasses, I'll have his ass arrested." Tim huffed. "So... if anyone has ideas--" Jason and Damian's eyes lit up; Tim glared at them and continued "--that do not include sharp and/or exploding objects of how to remove Bane from the Manor..."

"I'm fresh out," Jason replied mournfully. "No sharp objects, no exploding objects... what do you expect me to do? Poison him?"

"But Todd, did my mother not teach you the arts of food as medicine?" Damian piped up.

The sudden silence as all eyes landed on Alfred was quite ominous.

"I will not conduct a crime, young masters," Alfred remarked dryly.

"Oh nooo... not a crime," Jason grinned mischievously. "It's just... you know that Damian was born in the Middle East, yeah?"

"I may have quite a culinary skill, but I fear that my Middle Eastern cuisine knowledge is rather limited," Alfred said demurely.

"Well, mine isn't." Jason grinned. "Besides, what else should one do to celebrate one's entrance into such a distinguished family; but hold a family dinner?"

"You're going to poison him." Dick groaned.

"Not to death!" Jason protested. Dick gave him an unimpressed glare. "Just... to the point where he would realize that he and I have opposing objectives."

"Do let me know of the ingredients you require, Jason." Alfred intoned. "Or perhaps you prefer to shop on your own? I shall fetch a new, un-tampered-with vehicle."

"Oh, please do, Alfred. I doubt we can make a single trip. But they will be fun." Jason replied, grinning.

Dick knew that the sense of foreboding was not in him only. Tim looked like he was contemplating moving away to Alaska.

"For the records, I don't know anything about cooking," Dick said defensively.

"I'm... truly and fully reconsidering my life choices," Tim admitted.

"Oh, don't worry, Drake. Todd was trained by the best," Damian grinned mischievously. "I pity the fools who think him as a brute. I pity the brute who think that small equals weak."

#Batless!AU #JayTim #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #stray!tim #RedGhost!Jason #Talon!Dick

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nyxelestia · 4 years ago

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Vox article about the infamous wall of tags fic.

tl;dr at the end

What it’s about and why we care / article quotes:

All that, by itself, isn’t enough to make STWW remarkable — not on a website as wild and unpredictable as AO3. Yet the fic has become impossible for many AO3 users to ignore thanks to a unique quirk: Its author has linked it to more than 1,700 site tags (and counting).

Guides to how to block the fic have cropped up. For example, I use a Chrome extension that blocks fics with too many tags (you can specify how many tags is too many — I picked 50); there’s also simple site code that you can add to your custom site “skin” to block the fic completely from search results, as well as other workarounds.

But the usefulness of these options is limited. Site skins only work for logged-in users. Website extensions don’t work on mobile. Many other workarounds aren’t compatible with adaptive technology like screen readers used by disabled people and others — and if you think having to scroll past the tags on a phone is obnoxious, imagining getting stuck on it while a screen reader laboriously recites all 1,700 tags out loud.

(Emphases mine.)

My take on this specific fic:

I was sympathetic when I thought that maybe the author is just unaware of what they’re doing - but they have been made aware, they know exactly the effect they are having on other users and the community at large, and they’re still doing it.

[The author] acknowledged the controversy around their fic but emphasized that they were operating completely within AO3’s rules. “If AO3 has a category or a big red warning checkbox to say ‘click this to read crazy fics’ then I should put my fic in there,” they joked. “People are free to search (my) fic or exclude the fic using tags.”

Virtual1979 also remained steadfast when I pointed out that their fic was breaking the site for disabled users, stressing that the onus should be on AO3 — not them — to make enforceable site changes.

So now my sympathy’s all dried up. I do not remotely believe them when they say they aren’t a troll. Maybe they truly didn’t start out trolling, but they were repeatedly asked to stop, told about the impact they were having, and have themselves admitted on their Twitter account that they are laughing all the way to the bank.

A tweet they have since deleted - I did not think to grab a screenshot. So here is a screenshot of them saying they routinely delete their own Tweets, and their reaction to people who ask them to stop over-tagging their fic:

Maybe they started out as a well-intentioned new poster, unfamiliar with AO3 or how tagging works. And knowing fandom, I’m sure they faced some harassment for it. However, given they’ve been repeatedly asked to stop, and explicitly told how they are negatively affected so many other users’ ability to interact with the fandom and the website as a whole...and do not care, and continue to keep at it?

Freedom of speech gives them the right to be an asshole, but it also gives me the right to call them an asshole.

But, I do understand why AO3 isn’t banning them, and I agree with AO3′s current decision not to remove this fic. There needs to be some deeper changes, but banning this specific author or fic right now would likely cause more problems down the road than it solves right now.

What is the line for “Too Many Tags”? What would it mean for authors of non-anthology works? What impact would banning this over-tagged fics have on other over-tagged-but-not-as-badly fics? What will it mean for our culture of curating your content and experiences if blacklisting tags gets compromised due to such limits?

I’ve been frustrated by over-tagged fics before, and I certainly hope this will make other, well-meaning, good-faith authors reconsider decisions while compiling anthologies of their disconnected works going forward. Neither of these mean fans should expect AO3 to respond to mob rule and ban this fic.

My take on this article beyond this specific fic:

I disagree with the implication from the article that this is related to fandom’s longstanding issues concerning racism (and other -isms and -phobias) in fanfic. After all, the vast majority of fandom’s racism, sexism, misogyny, etc. isn’t tagged. At most, you can expect that certain ships or tags probably mean there will be certain racist tropes.

This does a disservice towards fans of a ship who don’t partake in or propagate those racist tropes - I myself included in that group. I routinely got comments on my fic from people who expected me to use racist tropes and fanons because of the ship tag on my fic, as these tropes were (and really, still are) so strongly associated with the ship. More importantly, there is no reliable way to tell from a fic’s meta-data whether there will be something in the fic the author doesn’t identify.

The fundamental problem with racism in fandom is not “people are making these racist things” but “people refuse to acknowledge these things they are making are racist” - and AO3′s meta-data is entirely self-identifying.

If an author does not think their work is racist, then they will not tag it as such, which means the rest of us will have no way of knowing until after we’ve already read the racism.

“Curate your own reading” is very applicable to things authors are willing to identify and tag in their own works - such as kinks, violence, etc. But if it is something the author did not intend, and does not agree with/identify, then readers who oppose it cannot curate against it.

Which is why I find this paragraph so misleading, specifically the part I bolded:

Throughout 2020, during sustained discussions across social media about structural racism and other toxic elements in fandom, AO3 users repeatedly requested that the site add basic features that could help users avoid involuntarily engaging with fics they found toxic or harmful. For example, currently there’s no real way to officially sanction a writer who includes racist elements in their fanfiction — the site’s abuse policy FAQ doesn’t mention race, and there’s currently no way to “warn” readers about racially charged elements in a fic. (You can warn readers about other controversial fic content, like character deaths, non-consensual scenarios, and underage characters.) And there are many readers who’d like to avoid engagement with fics and authors they deem to be racist.

These are tags an author can add onto their own work...but readers cannot warn other readers about an author’s work! And to be clear, I think that’s a good thing overall - readers being able to add their own tags to someone else’s work leaves way too much room for abuse, which would happen far more than readers warning other readers about things the author refuses to identify or tag. My point here is that apart from ��how to deal with works and authors you already know are assholes”, there is no connection between this specific fic and its ensuing mess, and the broader problems of pervasive racism in fandom.

The only thing the wall of tags situation and the fandom racism situation have in common, at least in relation to AO3, is that fans want to block certain authors or works whom you already know are assholes. This, the Vox article got right.

However, there are many, many ways to be an asshole other than racism. There are many reasons to block specific works or authors besides racism. There are many types of abuse and harassment besides racism. Acting as if “blocking toxic works or people” is inherently and automatically about the on-going discussions about race in fandom reduces racism to individual acts and actors, and ignores its nature as a systemic problem.

tl;dr

While there are work-arounds to avoid that fic with 1700+ tags (and others), these workarounds are very limited in their helpfulness.

Author has the right to do this, but freedom of speech also gives the rest of us the right to call them out for their poor behavior. I 100% believe they are now an intentional bad-faith actor / troll, even if they did not necessarily start out as one.

Despite my disdain, I understand and agree with AO3′s decision to not remove the fic or ban the author, however much I hate them both. All of AO3′s decisions have ramifications and implications beyond the immediate situations they are made for. This one fic/author should not get to chip away at AO3′s mission against censorship.

Apart from the very broad nature of blocking toxic people or abusive works, I don’t think this situation has anything to do with racism. Implicating individual behavior and tagging as a related referendum is reductive to the systemic nature of fandom racism.

#ao3 #otw #fandomshatepeopleofcolor #racism in fandom #wangxian #on fandom #fandom meta #the untamed #long post

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itsclydebitches · 4 years ago

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Okay so, you're overall sensible about your arguments & I'm worried you'll 100% convince me and ruin the only time I appreciated Cinder but let's go lol. I don't hate what they did with her in the last ep ? I carried that feeling of "she finally learned smth" into the final and didn't let go of it... Idk but Cinder so quickly learning to care about her allies when she's a raging egocentric would have felt... off. My take off instead is that she's finally learned to compromise to reach her ends.

LOL oh no I’ll try not to ruin anything! 😄

So when I first watched the finale I had two main reactions to Cinder’s choices. The first was disappointment that her long term growth ended up being a lie. Because yeah, even if it would have happened really fast for someone as arrogant and egotistical as her, Cinder as a character is rather flat. Real teamwork and friendship would have added dimension to someone who, currently, exists solely to be evil for power and she wants power because she was previously powerless. That’s both bland and overdone. A villain with a comparable relationship to the hero and their team though? The villain also capitalizing on The Power of Friendship? That’s way more interesting. To say nothing of the depth it might have brought to Emerald’s (so far incredibly rushed) redemption. What does it mean for her to spend years offering Cinder friendship and compassion and Cinder only returns it to someone else the moment Emerald defects? What a blow. So that felt like a missed opportunity.

But, the flipside to all this is that Cinder remaining a backstabbing asshole does frame her as competent again. She tricked Watts, she tricked Neo, and she pulled one over on Salem. I still believe what I originally said in my recap, that Cinder’s manipulation feels like it’s built far more on the others’ gullibility than her own skill, even if, as you say, we did see her toning things down to achieve that. Her manipulative actions weren’t nonexistent... but they weren’t a lot to justify the amount of trust her allies put in her either. I mean, Neo just stole the Lamp back after Cinder refused to complete her side of the bargain and Cinder just dangled Watts over a building. That’s a lot. Yet outside of her apology, Cinder doesn’t really do anything to convince the others she’s truly their ally this time. It’s not like we watched an arc wherein she sacrifices a great deal to prove her reliability, only to then turn around and reveal it was all just a long-con. Really, this entire scenario is based primarily on Neo making bad decisions. She gives Cinder the Lamp again after the betrayal she just went through? Why? Well, because the plot needed her to. But regardless, we do end up in the same place. Even if Cinder’s manipulation wasn’t super well executed, it was still a manipulation and she still came out on top. That’s the important bit. After getting taken out by Ruby’s silver eyes, spending a volume recovering, immediately falling to Raven, crawling back to Salem, and failing to take the Maiden powers from Penny twice over... Cinder really needed a win of some kind. And she got it! The kingdom of Atlas has fallen, the bad guys have two Relics, she thinks she killed two others, and if RT has played their cards right, Cinder has some plan of her own in the works while she plays servant to Salem.

I still believe both of the above points, but it wasn’t until a couple days after the finale aired that I saw others pointing out a rather glaring issue that I myself missed. Basically, the entire idea of Cinder learning that working with others helps her win (whether she means it or is just faking) is ridiculous because Cinder knew this from the start. She hunted down Emerald and Mercury, worked with Roman, pulled Adam into their plans, is obviously a part of Salem’s circle and has relied heavily on the others for all of her plans. That includes everything from Mercury and Emerald securing Amber so she could steal some of her power, to working with Neo to steal the Lamp. So it’s beyond weird to give her a revelatory moment when she knew this lesson already. Ideally, we might have gotten a more nuanced version of that revelation where Cinder acknowledges that trying to do things alone, like she only has recently, has turned out badly. When Cinder worked with her evil team in Volumes 1-3, she succeeded. When she worked with Neo and Watts in Volume 8, she succeeded. When she went off alone against Pyrrha, she briefly succeeded... but then was blindsided by Ruby. Then she starts a pattern of trying to do it all alone, attacking Raven (and losing) or attacking Penny (and losing), with Emerald only there because she begged to come. And, shockingly enough, Emerald’s presence is what saves her... and Cinder is pissed about it. This might have been a moment where, instead of Cinder realizing that allies are good — because she already knew that when she was introduced — she realizes that she has unintentionally let her ego push those allies away and has been the worse for it. I’d normally say that RT might have been aiming for that and just executed it badly... but if that were the case, Cinder wouldn’t have kicked Neo off the edge, or killed Watts. She obviously hasn’t realized that allies are how she wins, otherwise she’d keep those allies around until she has what she actually wants: the Maiden powers. You don’t kill Neo until after you’ve snatched all the power from Penny; you don’t kill Watts until after he’s helped you get the other two powers. That would be the smart, manipulative move. So she successfully manipulated them in the short term, yes, but now it feels like Cinder has set herself up for failure again. What’s going to happen the next time she’s in a fight without those allies? She’ll lose, most likely. Just like she was succeeding when Neo was there to take out Yang, but then failed once Neo was in the void. If Cinder had kept her around, Neo might have been able to keep Jaune busy while Penny was dying. Who knows, but the point is she’s clearly better off with them at her side. Now that they’re gone, Hazel is dead, and Emerald has turned, Cinder has no backup except for Salem herself. No one to assister her and no one to manipulate/betray. I fear that Cinder will be back to her old, lame self.

All of which could theoretically work. Cinder never realizing that allies are actually useful in the long run could be a fatal flaw of hers, but if that was meant to be a piece of her characterization we should understand why she’s so threatened by keeping them around. Above all, Cinder wants the Maiden powers and no one else is after them, so she’s not in competition with those allies for her ultimate goal. Salem (for whatever reason) considers her a favorite so again, Cinder isn’t trying to maintain some station that others are fighting her for. And as established, allies have only helped her over the course of this series. So why the egotism? Why doesn’t she want people to help her, or at the very least manipulate them until she’s achieved her true goal — all the Maiden powers — and then drop them into voids? I feel like the nugget of an answer might exist in her backstory. Something something Cinder is incapable of trusting anyone after Rhodes, no matter how much that trust would benefit her... but we don’t see evidence of that in the flashback itself (post-Rhodes Cinder exists for two seconds to stare at the moon) and she didn’t seem to possess this mistrust in the earlier volumes. This rejection of allies is now a pretty firm part of her characterization, but we don’t understand why and that lack of understanding rankles when a) it didn’t exist before and b) it’s clearly hurting Cinder’s chances to get what she wants in the long run. It’s like watching a character whose deepest desire is to bake a cake, we’ve established that having a recipe increases the chances of achieving that goal by a LOT, the character acknowledges this... but then it turns out that’s a lie because she’s tossed the recipe in the trash. And we don’t know why she did that. Why are you doing the things that are less likely to result in your cake??

Cake nonsense aside (lol) I have a lot of mixed feelings. Yeah, I too am happy that Cinder seems more competent than she’s been lately, but I also feel like that’s a really low bar right now. As you say, she was basically throwing “temper tantrums” before and now... she manipulates because she’s surrounded by the gullible and rejects long-turn help for unestablished reasons? It’s better than what we’ve gotten from her before, but I’m not sure I’d say it’s good — and it may look worse the longer the series goes on. Like looking back at her Volume 1-3 characterization, RWBY doesn’t possess the consistency for these possibilities to amount to much. In truth, I don’t think Cinder has some cool, brilliant plan she’s pulling over on Salem. I don’t think Salem has some cool, brilliant purpose for Cinder. I don’t think that Neo’s (potential) return will lead to any growth for her or Cinder. Simply because RT doesn’t appear to be planning their story for the long term and, as Neo’s Lamp stunts show, characters do things for the plot, not because it suits their characterization. Cinder’s moment in the finale indeed works for me in some respects, but I think that’s only the case because I’ve expected so little from her character for so long. And Cinder’s moment in the final indeed has some potential attached to it, but based on past experience, I don’t think RT will capitalize on that.

#rwby #mymetas #nexyra

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nightshade-minho · 5 years ago

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Nightmare (3)

Warnings: awkward situations, a lot of feelings, suggestiveness.

Part 1 | Part 2

“Alright, So we need to figure stuff out. There has to be rules, right...? I’m not completely sure, but in nearly all the movies where they do this kind of thing, they always make like, a list of ground rules.”

You tried not to think about how in most of those movies, the two end up together as well. So...you weren’t sure just how helpful a list of ground rules would be.

“You’re going to base whether or not you go to prison because you watched To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before once?”

Minho rolled his eyes. “Well, yeah. I hated that movie, though.”

You groaned out loud. “Okay, Minho. So what exactly do you propose?”

“Do you think I should get a paper and a pen, or something?”

You contemplated slamming your head on the coffee table.

“I’m sure we can remember.”

Minho put a finger on his chin. “Okay...so first of all we have to make this believable, right? We have to adjust our lives a little bit, start doing more coupley things, even if we’re alone.”

You looked at him, frowning. “Why?”

“It has to look natural in public.”

You nodded. The more Minho spoke, the more your brain was cursing you for agreeing. There were so many alternative solutions to his problem...although you couldn’t think of any at the moment.

“A lot of people already know we’re best friends, so just walking together isn’t enough. We really have to take this to the next level...”

“No kissing.”

Minho trailed off, raising an eyebrow. “What?”

“I said, no kisses. On the lips, anyway. Cheeks, hands, foreheads are all fine. I....I just think it would blur too many boundaries if we did kiss.”

Minho nodded slowly. “I supposed that does make sense.”

He cleared his throat and resumed. “The culmination of all of this is at Rina’s party this Saturday. We have to be the perfect couple, okay?”

You scoffed. “Don’t you think it would be a little too difficult for you to attend a party and not suck the face off of every hot girl present?”

Minho smiled humorlessly. “Anyways, two days later, we’ll break up. It should be a public affair, and Rina should be there.”

You rested your head back against the sofa, rubbing your eyes with your palms. “I can’t believe I’m actually doing this for you.”

Minho let out an indignant chuckle. “Need I remind you that this is all your fault? I passed up the opportunity to have sex with one of the hottest girls I’ve seen in my life to come over here and spend time with your sorry ass.”

That hurt. You raised your face, looking at him. There was regret written in his eyes, but you didn’t care. You could feel tears rising, and you hated it. You couldn’t cry in front of him. You wouldn’t.

“Lee Minho, you’re a fucking asshole. Seriously, being my best friend isn’t compulsory. If it’s that tiring and exhausting for you, then by all means, don’t spend time with me...fuck as many girls as you want. It’s all you’ve being doing lately anyway.”

You turned around to leave but was stopped by Minho’s hand, that had shot out to grab your wrist.

He pulled you down, and you landed half on top of him, an angry blush spreading across your features as you realized how close your face was to him in this moment. He was staring deep into your eyes, his hand still on your wrist.

“Y/n...you are my best friend. And I love spending time with you. Also...” he trailed off, looking like he wanted to say more.

“...sorry.”

You sighed. You couldn’t stay angry with him for long. So you nodded.

It took a second for you to realize that you were still in that position with him. You moved off of him, and he straightened up.

“Hey, we’re both free right now. How about we move Movie Night to tonight?”

You giggled. “I’ll get the popcorn...and some blankets.”

You tried to stand up, but he placed an arm in front of you, stopping you from getting up completely.

“I’ll do it. I’m making up for my little faux-pas yesterday. Besides, I’m your ‘boyfriend’ now.”

He winked before leaving the room, and you sank back into the sofa, your heart doing little jumps in your chest.

•••

When he came back, he set the popcorn on the table before settling next to you, pulling the blankets over the two of you as the movie started playing.

You were trying your best to focus on the movie, but Minho had his arm around your waist and had pulled you into his side. Minho often put his arm around you, but this was different. It was clear that he was trying to be romantic, drawing little circles on your waist that was driving you crazy.

“You comfortable?” He whispered against your ear. You nodded.

“I was thinking, tomorrow morning we should walk to campus together. I know your classes are earlier than mine, but we should make an effort to be seen as a couple.”

It was an awful reminder that all this was fake. You shrugged Minho’s arm off and put a little distance between you. Minho turned around, puzzled. “What’re you doing?”

“I just thought I’d be more comfortable like this.”

“You’re ridiculous. What’s the point in being shy? It’s like this huge prank that we’re pulling on the entire campus. Last time I checked, you love deception and lies.”

Minho leaned forward, his hands going to your waist and tickling you like he used to when you were kids, causing you to laugh uncontrollably. He guffawed as he crawled on top of you, tickling you so hard that it hurt. You kicked your legs hard, hitting his arm with your fist. Minho finally stopped, panting as he stared down at you.

It felt like time had stopped. There he was, hovering over you, his face inches away from yours, again. How did the two of you keep ending up in these compromising positions?

Minho’s lips were so close to yours that if you moved up just a centimeter, they’d be touching. In horror, you realized that he was leaning slightly closer.

You pushed him away, sliding out from underneath him and sitting up, blowing hair out of your face. Breathing hard, you turned around to look at him. He had an indescribable expression on his face.

Minho slowly stood up. “Y/n, I’m feeling a little tired. I’m going to go to bed...enjoy the rest of the movie.” He left.

•••

Minho didn’t know what had gotten into him. It’s just...there you were right under him, lips so close to his. His brain had automatically moved him closer.

The ‘No Kissing’ rule was making more and more sense by the minute. It was true. There were too many boundaries that were being crossed.

Minho decided that from then on, the couple-y stuff should only be done in public. He had to remind himself that he’d slept with girls who were more conventionally attractive and sexually experienced than you.

Why then, were you driving him mad all of a sudden?

•••

In the morning, Minho came to the living room only to see you asleep on the sofa.

“Y/n? Get up! We’ve got to go to class.”

You groaned, getting up slowly. “My classes are like, two hours away.”

“I know, but remember? We have to walk together.”

You grimaced as you recalled the stupid arrangement. Getting up, you went to your room and slammed it, finding some clothes to pull on.

When you came back outside, Minho was tapping his fingers on the breakfast bar in a pattern, glancing at his watch from time to time. He looked up, and hurriedly grabbed your hand, half-walking and half-running out the door, with you in tow.

“Minho, slow down!” You felt your heart in your throat, due to Minho’s fingers being so tightly intertwined with yours.

“Can’t! We have to get there at the same time Rina does.”

A while later, Minho slowed his pace, his hand still firmly clasping yours. He looked around. There were a lot of people he recognized, some of them girls that he’d fucked before...the girl from his psych class over at the fountain was eyeing the two of you intensely. So was a lot of people.

Turns out, Lee Minho having a girlfriend invited a lot of questions, especially when some of them knew you to be his best friend. A few people, mostly Minho’s acquaintances, came over and made inquiries. Minho introduced you as his girlfriend each time, prompting a lot of ‘congratulations!’ and ‘finally!’s.

“Minho!?”

You turned around at the sound. There was a raven-haired girl running over to the both of you. She was wearing a very low-cut top and stilettos, and looked very intimidating. You quickly realized she was Mera, a girl that Minho had been fuckbuddies with for a while.

She crossed her arms. “You? And y/n? Dating?”

Minho nodded. “Mmhmm.”

“I thought you said you weren’t the ‘relationship kinda guy’.”

“I-“ Minho looked at you, and then squeezed your hand, pulling you closer.

“I realized I’m in love with her recently.”

You almost let out a gasp at that. Mera was dumbfounded...and frankly, so were you.

You inhaled. “I’m...in love with him, too.” You wish what you said had been a lie, like Minho’s statement.

But it was true, and the acknowledgement of that fact made you nauseous.

Mera stuck a finger in her mouth, imitating a gagging sound. As she walked past, she let her hand drag across his arm. “If you ever come to your senses and break up with her, I’ll be waiting, okay?” She blew a kiss and sauntered away.

You sighed. “This is more draining than I thought.”

Minho ignored you, looking around. “Rina’s not here...”

“Well at least a decent amount of people saw. And Mera’s one of the biggest gossips on campus. She’s bound to come to know. I mean, you’re pretty well known for your fuckboy-ness...this is big news.”

Minho cocked his head to the side. “I suppose that’s true.”

When the two of you reached a quiet hallway, Minho dropped your hand so quickly that you felt your heart ache.

“We’ll wake up a little earlier tomorrow, okay? Maybe we can run into her then.”

•••

That night, you lay on your side. You tried telling yourself that maybe, this was a way to sort your feelings out once and for all. Maybe the reason you fell in love with Minho was because he was your best friend, and that meant there would always be ‘what if’s. Now that you get a taste of what it would be like, perhaps you’d finally be able to go about your life as normal.

Suddenly you heard your door open. You sat up a little, your sleepy eyes adjusting to the light streaming in from the hall. Minho was standing in the doorway in basketball shorts and a loose shirt, holding Gyu.

“You left this little guy in my room.”

Ah. So that’s why you couldn’t sleep. Minho walked closer, handing it to you. “Mind if I join?”

When you stayed silent, he got in beside you anyway. You turned on your side, and for a while, he stayed where he was. Then he put an arm around your waist, dragging you closer until your back hit his chest.

A few minutes later, you heard soft snoring sounds. Your heart clenched, because you knew this was just ‘practice’ because he wanted to make it ‘believable’.

It hurt, the fleetingness of this moment.

You fell asleep with tears on your pillow.

#minho angst #minho fluff #minho smut #lee know angst #lee know fluff #lee know smut #skz #stray kids #stray kids smut #skz smut

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emy-loves-you · 4 years ago

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Wrong Numbers and Useless Gays Chapter 4

Sad Boys and Fun Facts

Patton’s a sad boi but Virgil has a distraction

Chapter 3 | Masterlist | Chapter 5

Three weeks had passed since Virgil had first texted Roman. In those three weeks, Virgil had learned a lot about his new friends.

First, there was Patton. God, did that man love puns. Virgil also loved puns, but he preferred reading Patton’s puns over making his own. Remus had caught Virgil blushing at his phone and made a comment about his new “friends with benefits” (Virgil had been unable to respond. He was too busy trying to hold back his giggles from one of Patton’s pun tangents). Patton also made it clear that he was the “Dad Friend” of the group. Virgil couldn’t type a single self-deprecating comment without Patton threatening to physically fight him. It was rather terrifying, really. He also made sure that everyone was taking care of themselves. Once they learned that they were in the same timezone (They hadn’t shared cities yet. Friend or no, Virgil was telling where he lived in that quickly) Patton made it his goal to check in and make sure that Virgil ate at mealtime. One last thing about Patton was his… struggle with technology. He tended to send almost everything directly to the group chat instead of private messages. Logan said that he tried to teach Patton how to do so, but the lessons never seemed to stick.

Speaking of Logan, the nerd had his own quirks. He didn’t type much, usually only responding when someone required everyone to respond. The other time that he typed was during debates. Nine days into their friendship, Virgil had mentioned saying “you too” to a cute barista and claimed that he ruined any chances with his new crush. While Patton and Roman offered words of encouragement, Logan remained silent. Virgil had assumed that Logan agreed with him but didn’t want to upset his boyfriends. As soon as their conversation ended, Virgil received a private text from Logan, requesting to debate. They argued over cognitive distortions for a whole hour before they reached a compromise. Logan had called the debate “lit” and asked if they could debate again in the future. That was another thing about Logan. Apparently, he had vocabulary cards for slang words. When he was talking out loud, he would hold the card up so the others knew what slang word he was attempting to use. When texting, he would put quotation marks around the word. It was adorable, in Virgil’s humble opinion.

Then there was Roman. Princey was known for his dramatic flair and Disney references. When he was feeling especially Extra™ , he would use “thees” and “thys” and call people peasants. He also had a love for nicknames. Patton had very few personal nicknames, with most of them being terms of endearment like “honey” and “amor.” Most of Logan’s nicknames pertained to him being a nerd, such as “pocket protector” and “Microsoft Nerd.” He seemed to have a limitless number of nicknames for Virgil, with most of them referencing his emo-aesthetic (how Princey had discovered that so early in their friendship, Virgil had no clue). He never repeated Virgil’s nicknames; the only exception was “storm cloud,” which he tended to use at least once every conversation.

Virgil had become extremely close with the trio over these three weeks. That wasn’t the only thing he did, just the thing he did most often. The Dark Sides had finalized their contract with Thomas, who set up a tour almost immediately. Virgil really should have seen that coming. Their band had become extremely popular over the past few years, and they had only done one tour before this. Performing across the country would help boost their popularity even further. Virgil sighed, his anxiety spiking at just the thought of seeing all those faces in the crowd. That was why he used the persona Anxiety. Anxiety wasn’t afraid of anything, he was fear. Being Anxiety allowed Virgil to be confident and suave without worrying about judgment. They judged Anxiety, not Virgil. The case was similar for Janus and Remus. Deceit was elegant and mysterious, while Duke was loud and over-the-top. They didn’t have to be rejects wanting to fit in with society. No, they were Rockstars. Society wanted to fit in with them. And Virgil was just fine with that.

Bzzz

Vigil glanced over at his phone. He was in Los Angelas right now, around halfway through his tour, which put him 3 hours behind his new friends. He glanced over at his clock, 9:45 PM glaring at him through the dark. He turned back to his phone. Why are they up at 12:45 in the morning? I know Logan keeps them on a rigid sleep schedule.

P- (9:45 PM) Ro? Are you still up?

V- (9:45 PM) Pat, why are you still up?

P- (9:45 PM) Why are you still up, kiddo? It’s almost 1 AM! Don’t you have a hangout with your friends today?

Virgil sighed, thinking of the concert he had tomorrow. He glanced over to his sketchbook. Patton had been really impressed with his sketches, so he had been practicing less gory drawings to show him. It had evolved into something almost therapeutic. Knowing how he worked, Virgil would probably sketch until around 2 in the morning, then sleep until 8 AM. The concert wasn’t until 7 PM, so he had enough time to sleep in if necessary.

V- (9:46 PM) First of all, you know I’m in California right now. It’s 9:46 for me. Second of all, we’re not hanging out until tomorrow night, so I can sleep in if needed. Third of all, you’re avoiding the question: What are you and Roman doing up at 1 in the morning? I thought you guys had work in the morning.

P- (9:47 PM) We do. Roman got a burst of inspiration at around 10, and he usually refuses to sleep until he writes it all down. He probably fell asleep at his desk, that silly billy!

V- (9:47 PM) That doesn’t explain why you’re still awake. And why didn’t you get up to check on him? I thought you guys lived together.

P- (9:47 PM) We do! I just couldn’t fall asleep tonight. And the bed’s too warm to get up!

V- (9:48 PM) Well, Princey’s probably being a “sleeping beauty”

Virgil frowned at his phone. Patton hadn’t responded to his text. Sure, that wasn’t a very good pun, but it was still a pun. Patton laughed at every pun he saw, or at least followed it up with another pun. He could be asleep, but didn’t he just say that he had trouble sleeping?

V- (9:50 PM) Pat?

P- (9:50 PM) Yeah, Kiddo?

V- (9:50 PM) Are you okay?

V- (9:52 PM) Patton?

V- (9:52 PM) I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Just because you didn’t answer my pun doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. I’m sorry that I sounded like an asshole.

P- (9:52 PM) No, Sweety. It’s fine! It’s nice to know that someone cares about you!

P- (9:53 PM) I’m just a little sad today.

V- (9:53 PM) Do you wanna talk about it?

P- (9:54 PM) I’m fine, Kiddo! This just happens sometimes. No need to worry!

Virgil sighed, thinking about how much Patton reminded him of Janus. Janus grew up neglected, and was taught to convince everyone that his life was perfect. By the time Virgil had met him, Janus was 19 and a compulsive liar. Virgil wasn’t much better, having just gotten kicked out of the foster system. Virgil lived with Janus (and soon Remus) until The Dark Sides had enough income for Virgil to live on his own (technically Janus had more than enough money for that- his parents were loaded. But Virgil wanted to have something that he earned. He wasn’t just some charity case). When they first lived together, Virgil could never tell what Janus was actually thinking. It took a lot of time and trust to separate Janus from Deceit. Now, he was still heavily sarcastic, and he tended to close himself off when he got upset, but Janus had come a long way.

Virgil looked back to his phone. Patton didn’t seem to have it as bad as Janus did, but you could never tell. At least he acknowledged that he wasn’t okay. There is the chance that something really is bothering him, but Virgil had to trust Patton on that note. It is entirely possible that Patton is just feeling down today; God knows how many times Virgil would question why he should get out of bed. He bit his lip. What helps me when I feel sad for no reason? He smiled, remembering when Remus would spout the most obscene things to distract himself from his own negative thinking. A distraction.

V- (9:56 PM) Did you know that giraffes can clean their ears with their own tongues?

P- (9:56 PM) What?

V- (9:56 PM) “Rhythm” is the longest word in the English language that doesn’t have a vowel.

V- (9:56 PM) Elephants are the only mammals that cannot jump.

P- (9:57 PM) More like Elecan’t!

V- (9:57 PM) Haha :)

V- (9:57 PM) Without food coloring, Coca Cola would be green.

V- (9:57 PM) A 3-year-old boy was elected as mayor in Dorset, Minnesota

P- (9:58 PM) No way!

V- (9:58 PM) Yes way! His name was James Tufts.

V- (9:58 PM) 7 different dogs have been elected as mayors in the US.

P- (9:58 PM) I love dogs! They’re such good boys!

Virgil smiled, adding Loves Dogs to his mental list of Quirky things I like about Patton Morale. They continued to talk about dog mayors for a while until Patton ended it abruptly.

P- (10:14 PM) Why are you doing this?

V- (10:14 PM) Doing what?

P- (10:15 PM) Why are you going out of your way to try and cheer me up? You should’ve stopped talking to me 20 minutes ago. Instead, we’re laying here at 1 AM talking about dog mayors! I would have been fine on my own. Why are you wasting your time on me?

V- (10:16 PM) Pat, if you tell me that I’m wasting my time talking to you, I’m going to have to physically fight you. You are my FRIEND. I care about you. When you’re sad, I WANT to cheer you up. When you’re happy, I WANT to laugh along to your punny jokes. Because I know, at the end of the day, if I was sad and needed someone to cheer me up, you would do it in a heartbeat. You, Lo, and Princey are amazing people, and my time spent with you will NEVER be a waste. I swear.

Virgil sighed, dropping his phone on the bed. He might’ve been too forward with that last text. But it was true. While the four of them weren’t nearly as close as Virgil was with Janus and Remus, he still cared about them a lot.

P- (10:18 PM) Thanks, Virgil. That really means a lot to me

P- (10:18 PM) I’m gonna try and get some sleep now

V- (10:18 PM) Alright Patton, Goodnight

P- (10:18 PM) Goodnight

The next day, Virgil saw a postcard in the window of a gift shop. It had a puppy with sunglasses on the beach, with cartoonish letters saying “Having A WonderFUR Time!” He took a picture and sent it to Princey.

V- (1:08 PM) What’s your address or PO? I wanna send this to Patton.

R- (1:09 PM) Say no more, Hot Topic!

V- (1:09 PM) Aw, you think I’m hot.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Taglist: @bisexualdisaster106 @self-taught-mess @itawalrus

#sanders sides fic #useless gays #LAMP fic #virgil sanders #roman sanders #patton sanders #texting fic

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xlady-saya · 4 years ago

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better than a night light [fic]

Relationships: andrew minyard/neil josten

Summary: Neil hasn’t had the chance to examine the feeling of fear in a long time. He’s all too familiar with it though; from the nightmares, to the memories of a cold basement floor, he knows the feeling like the back of his hand.

But this fear is new, loaded with ridiculousness and a complete lack of reason. It’s nothing more than pixels on a screen, far away theories that can’t hurt him like his past can.

Maybe that’s why he’s beginning to not mind it as much. It doesn’t hurt that Andrew is also there to hold him through it.

Tags: neil is a scaredy cat, fluff, fluff and humor, the monsters watch alien movies

Read on ao3!

The movie poster Nicky keeps shoving in Neil's face doesn't exactly do much in terms of persuasion.

Neil stares at the bold graphics, at the text of the title that drips as if it’s oozing blood. It's got an almost static quality to it, not original, but not trying too hard to be. It's an older movie, that much is clear, so not exactly Nicky's usual taste. There's nothing there to tell him about the plot, just a few shadows and a stark silhouette standing in the center. Neil stares at the poster on Nicky's phone, then at Nicky's expectant expression, and then back.

Surely there has to be some kind of clue to tell him what this is all supposed to mean, but he's not seeing it.

Nicky does his best to show Neil a few more posters from the same movie, some restyled and revamped for the modern era, but...

Nothing.

"For fuck's sake," Nicky huffs, putting his phone away. "It's a classic horror movie, Neil, and we're watching it tonight."

Oh. Neil's not sure why he had to know that.

It's never up to him to pick the movies for movie night, mostly because most do nothing for him or bore him to tears altogether. Watching them with Andrew is typically the only time he bothers to pay attention, and that's for the commentary about the stupid characters.

Nicky is the opposite.

He and Allison fight over the films every Friday night like it's a ritual, but on the rare occasions the upperclassman are busy, Nicky takes over and tries his best to drag Neil into it too. A seasoned movie buff, he's made it his mission to find a movie genre Neil actually likes. Neil's attempts to convince him otherwise have fallen on deaf ears.

After weeks of action spy movies and no luck, Nicky's obviously decided to up his game by switching to a new theme altogether.

Neil's not sure what this will do, though. The horror movies Nicky has picked in the past only served to annoy Neil or make him laugh with their horrible effects and impractical plot points. Nicky had still labeled that as progress.

Already, Neil is rolling his eyes. Neil has dealt with real horrors; ghosts and poltergeists aren’t what haunt him. He's only seen one or two slasher films with the team, but those were just nonsensical.

It's not something he enjoys thinking about, but it's hard to be afraid of being sliced open by some fictional asshole in a mask when his childhood already made him numb to the feeling of a blade.

As if sensing the underlying truth behind Neil's annoyance, Andrew makes his presence known with a loud thump of his soda can against the counter.

Nicky jumps, but Neil turns on instinct, a small smile on his face. They have new barstools, and he swears they're a little taller than the other ones. Andrew's legs swing, almost carefree in nature, and Neil averts his eyes at the glare he receives for staring.

"I said no horror movies," Andrew says finally, flicking another page of his novel over. It's for a class, Neil notes, and beams a little brighter. Part of their pact; if Neil has to do better in school, Andrew has to start trying to, too.

With some encouragement...it wasn't a hard compromise to make.

"Technically, you said no slasher movies," Nicky says, smirking at the loophole. Andrew stares, thoroughly unamused, and Neil blinks between them. He hadn't known about that. He glances back over to find Andrew already looking at him, resignation clear on his face. It's a common expression from the beginning of their this—less rare now, but just as endearing in Neil's mind.

It's Andrew's 'you caught me caring about you, and I hate that because it's not hard' look.

Neil hops up to sit on the counter, and Andrew's gaze flicks down to his knee as if debating resting his chin on top of it.

"You don't need to baby me, those movies don't affect me," Neil says with a fond smile. It's the truth; he's not sure why, but the masked villains and their carving knives just seem tacky to him at best. He understands Andrew's reasoning though, and appreciates it more than he can say.

Andrew would never think of him as weak, and Neil can handle most things no matter how painfully they might stir up old memories. Regardless, Andrew will spare him if he can.

The look of acknowledgement passes between them, and Andrew nods.

Then: "Even still, they're bad," Andrew says, aiming the statement at Nicky. "I refuse to suffer through them."

Aaron, who up until this point has been a silent bystander on the couch, grunts an affirmative. Kevin's got his headphones in, not even listening.

"Killjoys," Nicky mutters, clutching his phone tight to his chest. He points an accusatory finger right at Andrew, and keeps it there in challenge. "You might like it too, if you would just give it a chance!"

Andrew, highly unconvinced, raises a brow at Neil. The blond and Nicky are a lot better at having actual conversations without Neil now, to the point where Neil wouldn't even call Nicky afraid of Andrew anymore. Still...looks like this is not a case Andrew has the energy to make.

Neil smiles, all too smug.

"I thought you said horror movies were overrated?" he asks Nicky, grin just the right amount of shit-eating. "And by overrated, you meant you're super scared of them and won't be able to sleep for days."

"First of all, Neil, fuck you," Nicky says without hesitation. Aaron snorts in the background. Unwilling to be defeated, Nicky holds up his hand, counting off the reasons. "Second of all, this one is different! It's an alien movie, and those don't scare me as much. I mean, they're super impractical!"

That's what's super impractical?

Neil rolls his eyes. Their whole lives are impractical. Ha.

But ah, Neil realizes. Maybe that's the reason for the weird poster silhouette. Aliens. He'd almost prefer a slasher film. He crosses his arms, blowing his overgrown bangs out of his eyes. "Yeah, I'm sure Jackson with his goalie mask is just as realistic."

The room goes silent, and Neil isn't too prideful when it comes to pop culture. It's clear he fucked that up. Nicky blinks at him, and even Aaron is confused enough to turn around and lean over the side of the couch.

Neil blinks back, combing his brain for the revision. Nothing.

Andrew sighs below him, long and suffering, and this time he really does put his chin on Neil's knee. He glares a hole into Neil's abdomen, but Neil suspects it's mostly self directed.

"I think he means Jason," Andrew says, closing his eyes to ground himself. Neil's always been quite impressed with his self-control. "He's just trying to provoke me."

Oh, yeah. That prick.

A small chorus of realization goes through the room as Neil smirks down at his boyfriend.

Nicky squints. "Huh? Provoke you how?"

"Don't ask about their weird flirting," Aaron interrupts, making a slicing motion over his throat. Then, after a beat, he shoots a glare at his brother, who actually meets it for once. "Though for the record, you deserve to have a thing for morons."

Hey.

"That time, I really thought his name was Jackson," Neil defends, not caring that he just exposed how sometimes he will say the wrong shit on purpose just to get Andrew...in a mood. Aaron gags, and Neil is quite done with the conversation.

He squeezes Andrew's earlobe because, well...it's right there.

Nicky throws his hands up. "Oh my god, who cares! Neil, the point is that yes, a serial killer terrorizing a summer camp? Unlikely. But if someone were inclined, they could. And at minimum, slasher movies are scary because I could actually be stabbed on any given day."

"The chances of you running into a slasher are still pretty low," Neil tries, and Nicky gives him one of those looks like he's missed the point entirely.

"I'm talking about Andrew."

Ah.

"That's fair," Andrew says, eyes closing once more as Neil kneads his ear gently.

Done with the lot of them, Nicky shows Neil the button to rent the movie on his account, and rebelliously presses it. As if that somehow traps Neil in this apartment. Like he can't just leave.

The sad thing is that he won't.

Even without the upperclassman to join them tonight, this is his family—despite all their shitty taste.

"Your point?" Neil asks, though he's fully resigned at this point.

"So, alien movies are way cooler than anything else. Plus, the effects in this one are practical," Nicky says, and Neil tilts his head. Instead of bewildered, Nicky's excitement only grows. "You know, none of that cheap computer crap. You'll see, you'll love it."

Nicky squeals lightly as he goes to make snacks, dropping a few dishes in the process. It's a chorus of curses and clanging that Neil is all too used to, and Andrew barely flinches from it. It's hard to mind anything with Andrew's head in his lap and Neil's hands moving into his hair.

Neil stares over at the television, and sees his own annoyed expression staring back from the void.

Love it, will he?

Yeah, whatever you say.

They're about thirty minutes into the movie when Neil realizes there's a problem.

Nicky, for effect, has turned out all the lights, and the television illuminates the whole room despite its dark ambience. Neil's perfectly prepared to not pay attention, especially when the movie starts off slow and without any of the promised aliens. Nicky scolds him for his impatience, and things gradually start to get more suspicious between the characters on screen.

Neil's not bored out of his mind, but he's yet to see the full appeal. Because it's his spot, he curls up into Andrew’s side, sharing the bag of plain gummy worms between them since Neil hates the sour ones. Neil's more fixated on that at first; sometimes if they grab the same one on accident, they'll start the contest of pulling the poor worm and stretching the gelatin until it snaps. So far, Neil has won the longest piece two out of three times.

Then, in a shocking twist, the alien shows up.

Nicky was right about the practical effects. It's a grotesque creature, animatronic and padded with a fleshy substance that looks like bile. Its limbs are coated in it, sticky and disproportionate to its thin, skeletal body. Neil can see every disgusting ridge, and grimaces at the bubbles of flesh and pus that the effects team coated it with. After a while, he stops viewing it as a product of humans, as a robot. He starts seeing it as just the creature, in all its vileness. Random limbs and appendages shoot out from it, impaling some of the unlucky side characters, and the squelching sounds make Neil want to vomit.

Neil's throat begins to feel tight, and he's not sure why.

Throughout the next fifteen minutes, the creature starts its ruthless hunt after the team of scientists which make up the main cast. Only when it disappears does the audience realize the creature can shapeshift—that it's among them, somewhere on the base.

At first, Neil thinks he might have to go to the hospital. His pulse is fast, and he's sweating a little. It's weird, and he finds himself trying to calm down his own breathing. His muscles aren't usually this tense, and there's a nausea-inducing lump in his stomach, swimming around like the goop on screen. Maybe he's sick, maybe he ate some undercooked meat for dinner. That has to be it. He tries his best to stretch out, but his ankle hits Kevin's fancy metal flask, and Neil nearly jumps out of his skin from the cold when it coincides with a character being ripped in half on screen.

"Damn, that was pretty cool," Aaron concedes from his beanbag, watching the characters rush to safety from the gore they just witnessed. Even Kevin is invested, though he's still occasionally checking Exy stats on his phone. The creature is gone again all too soon, blending in, and the scientists begin to arm themselves against one another. Nicky looks over at Aaron gleefully, triumphant for his good choice.

At this point, Neil hates to admit he's fully invested. The characters in the movie have started to suspect one another, and the focus has shifted from the gore and the alien’s origin over to pure paranoia. It does a remarkably good job of capturing that feeling—one Neil knows all too well. Neil begins to suspect some of the characters too, even the main protagonist. The theories run through his head, but the film leaves everything as vague as can be.

There's a blanket of dread over him he's never felt before, because it's not real. There's no imminent danger to his person or his family, but he wonders what he'd be feeling if he were in this situation. The idea of imposters, walking around and having no way of telling them apart from your friends, from a human...

It takes Neil awhile, perhaps a little too long given his acquaintance with the emotion, to understand the tension in his body is fear.

He's afraid.

And isn't fear a strange thing?

He tries to remember fear, and it's not hard. It's always cold, piercing. It narrows down the world so that the fear is all that exists, along with the impending doom of the consequences that come with it. For him, fear has always eventually had a result. His fear was always well-founded. But this is nothing like that fear. Real, genuine, valid fear. This is not being threatened by his mom's scowl from across the room, or being on the basement floor, seconds from death. This is a queasy, unrealistic fear. One he can't get rid of, as much as he knows it shouldn't exist. There's nothing on the horizon, nothing coming to get them.

It's a lot of what-ifs and how-comes.

Neil hates it.

He can't look away as the characters all perish, eaten alive in part by the alien, but mostly by their own suspicion. In the end, the discord between them kills them all, and the ending hints heavily at the creature's survival and spread into the outside world.

Maybe here.

Neil scoffs at his own ridiculousness, rolling his eyes. That would never happen. He knows that, it's just—

"So?" Nicky says right in his face, and Neil jumps. Luckily, no one notices, and Andrew has already moved to switch the television off. Good. He surely would've felt the jump of Neil's body.

"So?" Neil parrots, unable to keep up. He keeps looking out the dorm windows, watching the darkness for any sign of life beyond it.

"Did you like it, Neil?" Kevin asks, turning around from his perch on the floor. He's also been weirdly committed to finding things for them to enjoy outside of Exy. Neil has a feeling that's mostly Thea's and therapy's doing, an attempt to get them some distance from the harsh Raven routines of old.

Kevin's attempt at getting them into trivia had been a disaster, and he'd abandoned it quickly.

Neil swallows the lump in his throat, eyes tracking Andrew to keep himself grounded. Aliens or no aliens, the sight of Andrew is a relaxant that's fifty times stronger.

Still, all he manages is a small: "It was okay."

It's a compliment coming from him, since his standard response is to shrug whenever any credits roll, and Nicky heads off to shower for bed with an extra lightness in his step.

Neil is not so fortunate.

An hour later, they're all turning in. Kevin has already passed out while Nicky takes his time in the bathroom with his twenty minute skincare routine. Neil had done everything in his power to not be alone once the lights began to go out. He's lucky his proximity to Andrew isn't unusual, but he keeps a few steps of distance just to throw off any suspicion the blond might have about why his boyfriend’s clinginess is off the charts.

The night sky is still pitch black through the windows, and any passing noise has Neil turning around and checking on his family critically. No, no—if Kevin were a creature, he wouldn't be snoring so loud.

Right?

He feels like a child, and does his best to go about his business without reading into everything so much. Even still, he hops onto the bed so he doesn't have to stand in front of the bottom of the bunk for too long. Something could grab his feet.

Andrew, per routine, wraps his arm around Neil's midsection to pull him closer, not yet aware of what's happening. Neil usually delights in this each time it happens, though he's certainly used to it by now. The path to sharing a bed had been a cautious one, and spooning even more so, but now he can't imagine sleeping without being cocooned like this.

Tonight, however, there's a problem.

Neil stiffens when Andrew moves to scoot him closer, a stark contrast to how he usually relaxes all his muscles. It's kinda fun when Andrew drags him. Andrew pauses, regarding Neil curiously, and Neil's dry throat seems to close up even more. The dread in his veins obviously isn't apparent, but it feels that way. Paling internally, Neil says, "I want a glass of water."

He really wants a glass of water. Fuck.

But is it worth it? Is he willing to die for a glass of water? He can make it until morning. If he were smart, he would've thought about this when everyone was still in the living room and he had access to knives to defend himself.

Andrew, calm as ever, concedes with a short nod. He removes his hand and waits for Neil to get up, and that's when Neil can't hide it anymore.

See, he doesn't move. Neil just lies there, staring up at the ceiling, and feels Andrew's eyes grow more and more critical with each passing second. Neil is torn. Does he get up despite his fear to preserve his dignity? Andrew of all people deserves to know when Neil has none to spare. Neil doesn't hide anything from Andrew, no matter how ridiculous.

The truth is, he'd love nothing more than to stay here on this bed with Andrew, where it's at least kind of safe. But, if he thinks more critically, he'll never get over this fear if he doesn't venture out into the dark common area to get his goddamn water.

Also, he's thirsty.

What to do, what to do.

At this point Neil begins to squirm, his gaze flicking over to the open bedroom door. It's black on the other side, inviting him and his imagination to wreak havoc.

Humans can survive a few days without water.

The whole time, Andrew doesn't stop staring at him, and Neil winces when he feels a gentle tap against his collarbone.

He's hesitated too long to keep the secret now. Better get it over with.

"Neil."

"Uh. Y-yes?"

"Look at me," Andrew says, and Neil can't disobey a request like that. Andrew's sleepy voice is gravely and soothing, like enticing smoke from a cigarette, and Neil follows it with all his senses. He turns over, then tenses up. Now his back is to the door. Can't have that.

He goes back to lying flat, and turns his head to send Andrew a desperate look.

It's stupid, it's pathetic. But...

"It's dark." That’s all he says.

Andrew's brows knit together, searching for the truth under that statement. "It's one in the morning."

Oh, but I'm the smart mouth.

Neil glares, and jumps when Nicky drops something in the bathroom. Neil waits for a sign of movement, and breathes a sigh of relief when Nicky's routine resumes.

Andrew sends him another look, no doubt already piecing it all together, and Neil huffs to himself.

"Asshole," he says, and picks at the thread of their blanket with his finger. He tries not to think of the aliens splitting open. Quietly, he admits: "The creature in the movie could see better in the dark."

It should be helpful to say it aloud, but it's not. It should convince Neil he's being truly unreasonable, that the odds of something otherworldly coming to target him are slim. He should be more worried about real killers coming for him on any given day.

But here he is, still afraid.

Andrew, in his own Andrew way, actually looks surprised. Something swims across his features that Neil has seen before, but can't pinpoint in the moment due to his own shame. He groans, turning away.

"Shut up, I know, forget it, I'm—"

A hand comes out to grab his chin, and Andrew turns Neil's face back towards him in one firm motion. Okay, now Neil definitely knows there's something in that look, and it renders him speechless for a moment.

"You're afraid." He swears he sees the corner of Andrew's mouth twitch, and he's so fixated on it that the truth comes easily.

"Yes."

"Of the...aliens. From the movie?"

Ah, but when put that way...

Neil groans again, pouting slightly. It's hard for Andrew to ruin anything for Neil, but it's difficult to stare fondly at one's boyfriend when he's trying to wring the embarrassing truth out of you. "Yes! I don't know why, okay?"

Andrew just nods, not judging. Not yet. Taking that into account, he taps Neil's chin a few times, maybe to the beat of invisible cogs moving in his head. Then he pauses, and gives Neil's earlobe a tug. Because...it's there. "Nicky said aliens are impractical. They aren't real. You know this, I assume."

Neil glares, but doesn't refute the statement. He's familiar with Andrew's process of retracing their steps, hypothetically. Trying to understand where the fear came from, how to best help Neil push it aside.

"Neil, confirm these things for me," Andrew says, and Neil nods, counting the freckles that dance over Andrew's nose. "You have dealt with members of a deadly mafia family."

Neil, because he's a shit, takes time to think about it. It's worth it when Andrew huffs.

Neil nods. "That is true."

"You are arguably more capable than me when it comes to killing someone," Andrew points out, and Neil does his best to ignore the spark of heat in Andrew's voice from that knowledge. "In fact, you've probably killed many people without remorse."

Hm. Okay.

"Mhm." Neil hums, and while he sees where this is going...

"You could potentially be Jackson, minus the hockey mask," Andrew finishes, and Neil is only somewhat insulted. What does he want with a summer camp?

Feigning stupidity this time, Neil squints. "Wasn't he immortal?"

"Neil."

Neil's laughter dissolves into a desperate whine, and he throws his hands behind him, hitting the headboard. Dammit. "Just—I know it makes no sense," he huffs. He scrambles up to a sitting position, an explanation on the tip of his tongue, and Andrew follows him calmly. "I know they're not real but...I think that's the problem. It's an unknown. I'm familiar with killers, with knives on my skin."

Neil almost feels guilty when he mentions it; Andrew accepts all his scars and experiences, but it doesn't mean he likes that they happened. They can't change the past, but the idea of either of them being hurt never fails to put a little pit of anger in their guts. He sees it bloom in Andrew's right then, and Neil smiles gently to quell it. It's not about that right now.

"But this is so removed from any of that," Neil explains, laughing at himself. It's sort of amusing if he thinks about it—that he’s made it to the point where he has the luxury of being afraid of such things, but he still doesn't feel relief. "I know it should be stupid and ridiculous. But that's probably why it bothers me. I mean, okay, what do we really know about aliens anyways? Nothing! No road map, no weapons. We're completely unprepared."

And...his explanation goes off the rails just like that.

Neil thinks he has a good point though. Like...who is really to say aliens don't exist? And if they do, they're all pretty much fucked. Who wouldn't be afraid?

Andrew only stares at him.

At the expression of disbelief, Neil whines and does his best to backtrack, but Andrew is having no more of it. Andrew just lays back down, hands covering his face.

It's a novel reaction, considering this is Andrew. He looks so beside himself, unable to process whatever is going on in his head, but not in the bad, overwhelmed way he might be used to. Neil leans over him, and artfully pokes Andrew between the eyebrows.

"Andrew?"

His boyfriend sighs. "I don't ever know what to do with you," he concedes, removing his hands so Neil can see his pissy expression. "Alien movies. It's goddamn alien movies."

Neil's not sure what to make of that, but even in the dimness of their room he can see the reluctant fondness in Andrew's face, poorly concealed behind a facade of neutral indifference. That, and the tips of his ears look a little red.

Neil's confused as hell before he realizes what it must be. He perks up, fear momentarily put on pause. "Oh...oh, you like this," he observes, not smug, just factual. Andrew glares. "You think it's—uh..."

Not hot, at least Neil doesn't think so. But—

"The word you're probably looking for is cute." Andrew grimaces when he says it, like it's a crime for the word to come out of his mouth. If Neil's being honest, he's surprised too. Not that Andrew thinks it, but that he actually said it. Hm. That's new. Neil likes it. He always insisted to Andrew that he didn't have to try harder at verbal affection just for Neil's sake, not if he didn't want to.

Clearly, part of him does.

Andrew glares at Neil's small smile, pushing his face away. "And you're wrong, so don't read into it."

Neil ignores that advice completely. "Oh, okay. So you think it's cute," he repeats, and mulls that over in his head.

"I just said—"

"Wait, why?" Neil asks, suddenly offended. Here he is trying to tell Andrew his alien attack plan, and the blond thinks the severity of the situation is cute. "Does my terror mean nothing to you?"

"Not in this case," Andrew admits, and this time there's clearly a small smile threatening to break the mask. Neil tries (pettily and unsuccessfully) to not let it affect him. "Now quit it, and go get your water."

Shit.

The fucking water.

The source of his woes comes back as a painful reminder in the form of his parched throat, scratchier now from all the discussion.

Noticing Neil's stricken face, Andrew wordlessly gets up with him, pulling him along to the edge of the bedroom so Neil can't talk himself out of it. Flicking on the light for the living area, Andrew pushes Neil out in front of him, a silent nudge to hurry up.

The room definitely looks a lot less sinister like this, but Neil's brain is reluctant to let him relax. He walks quickly and stiffly into the kitchen, turning back halfway to make sure that yes, Andrew is watching him.

"I'm here," the blond says, despite the roll of his eyes.

Neil practically runs to get his water, moving back to Andrew faster than the speed of light. As absurd as Andrew finds it, he dutifully waits for Neil to step fully back into the light of the bedroom before turning off the living room light again, and offers to take Neil's glass back when he finishes. Unwilling to lose Andrew by making him go alone, Neil takes his turn watching from the door.

Andrew looks back—not out of fear, but just to see the way Neil tracks his every move, wary of the surroundings. Something soft escapes Andrew's mouth, a vulnerable sound Neil swallows when he gets back into their bed.

He still can't fall asleep, but at least Andrew holds him a little tighter that night, a silent reminder that Neil's not alone in the darkness.

Neil's entire being burns with embarrassment, and he can't wait for a few days to pass so his brain will forget the movie entirely.

At least then the fear in his veins will be but a lingering memory, teasing fuel for Andrew at most.

Except, per routine, Andrew is a giant bastard.

"We're watching this tonight," he says a week later, throwing a library DVD into Nicky's lap.

Neil doesn't think much of it as he finishes the last of his math problems at his desk, kicking his legs happily since this means he'll be done with homework and his kissing ban will be lifted.

Nicky's voice has all his expectations shriveling up and exploding like alien guts. "Aliens again?"

Neil's head snaps up to meet Andrew's gaze across the room, betrayal lining his face. The DVD cover Nicky is looking at is old school again, another classic Neil assumes. It's less detailed than the first one, with nothing but a green, glowing egg on the front.

Hell no, Neil thinks, and glances back at Andrew with a desperate look in his eyes. Maybe it's a joke.

But Andrew's sense of humor is cruel.

"It wasn't awful," Andrew answers Nicky while looking right at Neil. There's nothing amused or challenging in his features, but Neil still senses it. Andrew has weighed Neil's fear, has no doubt picked it apart and tried to decide whether or not that fear should be quelled, or if it's fair game to prod.

The conclusion is clear.

"Awesome!" Nicky shouts, unaware of the turmoil between the two of them. "Finally, we found something you don't tune out completely."

"I'll make the snacks," Aaron says, and Kevin actually seems okay with the selection. He shoots them both a weird look—which, given the intensity of Neil's stare, is appropriate. However, living with them has given Kevin enough insight to know when and when not to intervene. He walks past them, as he should.

When they're actually getting settled in to watch the damn film, Neil has switched tactics. He's refusing to meet Andrew's gaze, foot tapping impatiently against their stained carpet. As peeved as he is, the fear is starting to outweigh it. What if this movie is worse? Is he ready for another night wondering if aliens are going to come absorb him into some hybrid monster?

What the fuck does the egg mean? Aliens lay eggs?!

Neil refuses to sit by Andrew at first, and Andrew's legs are spread in such a way that his lap is wide open and inviting.

It's difficult to resist.

Eventually, Andrew sighs, and slouches into the couch a little more, leaving a perfect Neil-sized spot next to him.

"You're going to sit over there by yourself?" Andrew asks. With the rest of the group out of earshot, he adds lowly: "Aliens pick off the stragglers first."

Neil's glare would melt flesh from bone if it wasn’t directed at Andrew. The blond is unaffected by Neil's threats, though there's definitely power behind them. Just...never towards him.

An unfortunate fact, but one Neil would never betray.

Sulking, he climbs up onto the couch and fits himself snuggly into Andrew's side, head on his chest. Completing the dance, Andrew manhandles Neil to rest more comfortably against him, and Neil ignores the smugness radiating off the blond.

When Aaron walks in, he regards them suspiciously. Neil hates him for smiling that knowing, shit eating little grin once the realization hits him.

Fuck Aaron. Neil knows he's afraid of possession movies. He better be ready.

"This one is especially gross," Aaron says, offhand, but aimed at Neil entirely. "I've seen it."

Neil stares into the television again, done with all of them, and hopes his brain is over it. He hopes this movie is as boring as it can be. "Let's get this shit over with."

And they do. But no, the movie is not boring.

This film is arguably worse than the one they watched last weekend. The aliens are somehow grosser, with tar-like skin and oozing orifices. Even worse, they're more parasitic than the other aliens, and extremely hard for these idiot characters to kill. Neil sees one of the alien babies jump down someone's throat and has to look away.

He supposes it's too late to ask how he got here, to wonder why he can't get over it and understand none of it is real.

But then again, what does he know about the universe?

Neil's glad everyone else is too into the film to notice him burying himself further into Andrew's chest, eyes glued to the screen reluctantly. That's the problem with fear—it takes hold of him. He's not one of those people who can look away or close their eyes, so he just wrings Andrew's shirt between his hands into a wrinkly mess.

At a certain point, the alien from earlier bursts through the character's chest and makes Neil jump away from Andrew's, but the blond grabs Neil's head gently in anticipation of this (which means he's seen this shit already, the asshole) and guides it to rest over his heart. It should make it worse, the rhythmic beating, pumping in time with the chest burster's onslaught. Instead, it's grounding, as it always is, and he sighs.

He wonders if this was Andrew's plan all along, but would that make sense? Having to comfort a scared Neil can't be anything but annoying.

Later, when he's having a mug of hot chocolate with Andrew and Aaron before bed, and steadily getting grumpier with the thought of the sleepless night to come, he says as much.

Aaron just looks at him, as if he can't believe Neil exists. "You really are a moron."

And with that, he goes back to his own dorm.

Neil tries to get clarification, but Andrew only takes the mug from his hands. He avoids Neil's questioning gaze and laces their fingers together, pulling Neil into the room before the lights go out.

It's hard to look serious when he's lying on top of Andrew's chest, glare peaking out, but he tries.

It's weekend three of Andrew's onslaught of alien movie sequels, and luckily he's promised to back off from now on.

Still. Neil's gonna pout all he wants.

A sound from outside makes him jump, but it's just an extra hard downpour knocking against the windows. If Neil closes his eyes, he almost sees the alien claws tapping on the glass, trying to get in.

"Poor, frightened little bunny," Andrew states without any inflection or tone, but Neil can sense the teasing underneath.

"Fuck you," he says, but it's dampened by the way he leans over to close the window blinds.

It helps. A little.

"And risk the alien contamination?" Andrew adds, tugging on Neil's bangs for his attention. Like he has to; he somehow always has it, even when Neil is less than pleased. "Tell me, just what do you think is going to happen? Nothing's going to burst out of you just from watching that movie."

Neil feels his stomach flip flop from the thought of it, his heart taking the tower of terror through his body. He makes a disgruntled noise in the back of his throat, and Andrew pulls him up by the scruff of his neck to get a better look at him.

"I still feel queasy," Neil says, a poor attempt at revenge. Andrew doesn't move away, isn't even remotely grossed out.

The blond just sighs, and rolls Neil over to the other side of the bed in a display of vulnerability. Instead of being pressed to the wall, Andrew's back is open to their room, to the world. Neil balks for a moment before he gets himself under control. They've done this a few times, so he closes his jaw. He knows he should be happy for these moments, not surprised by them. Because he knows they're not small. It's Andrew telling him something, it's Andrew giving. And that's nothing new.

Still, Andrew never has his back to the door, and it probably won't last long. Eventually they'll go back to their normal positions, but for now Andrew shields Neil from the world.

It's a silent emphasis, a promise.

Despite the dimness and the new tension in his shoulders, Andrew's gaze is like a spark to the gasoline pooling in Neil's body. "Neil, you're safe."

Yes. Deep down, that's the biggest truth of them all.

Neil sighs, and gently rolls them back over. It's his own affirmative, his own way of protecting Andrew—whether it be from real threats, or fictional ones. He slides over Andrew until he's on the edge of the bed, and is happy when the bits of tension bleed back out of Andrew. Much better.

"I know that." Neil curls up, and though his back is to the door, he doesn't turn away. It's another silent response. He's afraid, but he knows if an alien were to suddenly bust through the door...

Well, Andrew would let him know. "But I'm still...mph," he grunts, glaring at the blinds above Andrew, and this time, the edges of the blond's lips lift easily. Just for Neil to see.

"Scared?"

Neil rolls his eyes for the billionth time, mostly at himself. "Yes, Andrew, the stupid alien movies scare me. I'm glad you're enjoying it so much."

He won't lie; he expects a silent response, maybe the old 'I don't enjoy anything' just to make him laugh, because they both know it's not true.

Instead, Andrew grabs his wrist, tracing the veins there with his thumb.

"You're right," he admits, slow, as if he's considering taking it back. Neil waits with bated breath, and Andrew must ultimately decide that it's impossible to. "I am."

The blatant admission catches him off guard, and well...Andrew can be pretty cute too, when he avoids Neil's gaze like this. The blond fixates on where they're connected, tracing the scars farther up Neil's arm.

Neil hums. "Because you're a cruel otherworldly imposter, or because you know I secretly have a thing for when I amuse you?"

The master plan, all along.

At Neil's cheeky grin, Andrew rolls onto his back, questioning his existence. He slides Neil's hand over his chest, draping it across him. "You're a nuisance," he mutters, and Neil's grin softens at the edges. He still doesn't understand it all, but when Andrew's being so open like this he can't help but dive in. He slides his hand lower, resting it over Andrew's heart.

"Your heart's beating fast," he says quietly, nearly a whisper. "Could be a chest burster."

"Mourn me," Andrew responds, and Neil smothers his laugh in his pillow. It's got that fresh lavender scent, and reminds him that there's no way he's going to do laundry by himself this week. That room is dark.

For whatever reason, that makes him laugh more. He hears Andrew move closer, hears the stuttering breath of words kept back, and peeks an eye out. Andrew tends to look kind of constipated when he's trying to say something especially revealing, and Neil has long since stopped telling him he doesn't have to.

Because...Andrew told him it wasn't necessary.

'If I want to say something, I'll say it.'

Neil smiles; he remembers thinking it was such an Andrew answer. So now he waits patiently, letting his giggles fade into staggered huffs.

Moments pass, and then, quietly: "I like it," Andrew says, voice barely above a whisper. It hasn't lost its firmness, its inability to be argued with. "I like that you're scared of something that actually can't ever hurt you."

Neil's smile falls, but he's not upset, not in the slightest.

Andrew's statement from weeks ago feels wrong now. It's Neil that doesn't know what to do with him sometimes.

There's plenty of things Neil is scared of—things that have actually hurt him, ruined and scarred him. Those fears are more deeply ingrained and clawing, impossible to erase completely with a few nights of sleep. He doesn't have to wonder if they're real, how they'd hurt him or how painful it would be.

He knows. He can feel the ghost of a blade often, the searing scent of burning flesh whenever he's near a bonfire or when he touches his scars. He sometimes still wakes up from nightmares of being held down, except this time he's not able to get back up. He's never able to run again.

And as much as Andrew would like to, he can't go and reach into the past to stop those things from happening. The realities are so much more frightening, and that terror has no remedy. Andrew knows that better than anyone.

So maybe it's nice, maybe it's just a little rewarding, to see Neil so scared of fictional aliens and monsters instead. Those are the things that can't hurt him, that can't reach him. Perhaps it's better that they occupy his mind instead so that the other demons do not.

And that's the consideration that has Neil so at a loss; he can't do much more than echo Andrew's name in his head over and over, and scoot closer to him until he's all he can make sense of.

It's quiet, aside from the rain, but now it actually sounds like itself, calm and cleansing.

"Well, yeah," Neil whispers into Andrew's chest, then sits up. He wants to say it more firmly, with no room for doubt. This way even if Andrew doesn't believe him...he knows how Neil feels. "You protected me from all that other stuff, so those fears...they're easier now."

He's never put it into words before, but it's the truth. He'll always have nightmares about knives and guns, about fires and cold, blue eyes. But he knows any new threats that come crawling back from the mafia underworld won't have just him to deal with. He'll have Andrew by his side, fighting.

So he's not as afraid of that.

Andrew's grip around him tightens, a promise that never has to be renewed. Neil knows it's forever in place.

On the other hand...

Neil nudges Andrew sheepishly, tapping his finger right between Andrew's pecs. "I just don't know if you stand a chance against an alien hivemind," Neil admits. Though to be fair, no one does. They're all fucked.

Andrew, after a beat of silence, concedes. "For once, I think you're right."

Neil nearly feels better from that, light and warm, but then Nicky comes back into the room and turns off the lights abruptly, plunging them into darkness.

And suddenly, nothing is okay.

He scoots as far away from the edge as possible, practically pinning Andrew to the wall, but the blond takes everything with a sigh.

He deserves it anyways.

Neil still jumps from any little sound the next few nights, and yes, Andrew has to walk him to the laundry room, but that's alright. The teasing he eventually gets from the rest of the Foxes is more than worth it if he gets to make Andrew hold him extra tight.

The fear eventually fades, diluted, but if he pretends to cling to it a bit longer…no one has to know.

If Andrew catches onto Neil's dramatic, fake flinches and continued unwillingness to go anywhere by himself, well...

He certainly doesn't point it out.

#aftg #all for the game #andreil #andrew minyard #neil josten

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sokkathebluewolf · 4 years ago

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A review Why you do that? Making Sokka mention 28 in his vows now everyone think he slept around after the best time of his life? They both dont deserve this June slaves Hina Tylee now this Please don't make more girls fall for him involve with him feels like the whole fic turned around this Haru deserves better Tylee is flirting around

Don't get me wrong This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit I'm merely giving an opinion ''cause Gladiator has things which you handled the best There is a Reason for this success I just hope this plus 1 girl thing in Sokkla relationship Stops But I always respect you with your great work(:

You do realize how utterly laughable it is to tell me “DON’T MAKE MORE GIRLS FALL FOR HIM IT FEELS LIKE THE WHOLE FIC IS TURNING AROUND” and then say “you can do anything you feel fit, I respect your work (:”, right?

This is not respect. This is not “constructive criticism”. This is not an opinion so important and valuable that it warrants being repeated about a million times across A YEAR. Most people? They give out their opinions, negative or positive, ONE TIME, and leave it be, because what matters to them is CONVEYING how they feel, not forcing a writer to constantly explain themselves or write whatever they would be comfortable with. Actually? Most people who have given me negative opinions so far have been like that, except one guy who was outright flaming my story because he wanted to wank to it, and he couldn’t believe he had to read 97 chapters to finally reach the smut. That I’m comparing you to this reader and reviewer is PROBABLY a bad sign, don’t you think?

Sokka didn’t MENTION 28: Sokka acknowledged his past mistakes because he’s a grown man who knows to feel remorse when he hurts people he loves. That he brings up having hurt her, to this day, isn’t in the purpose of going “HEY HEY AZULA REMEMBER WHEN I BROKE YOUR HEART LOL”, it’s in the purpose of saying: “I’ve learned from my mistakes and, as it has been for YEARS, I will devote myself to NEVER hurting you again”. That, anon, is a PERFECTLY VALID SENTIMENT for a wedding vow, and one that requires far more character growth and complexity than “Lol I’m so happy we were both virgins because that is the only kind of pure love that has ever been valid in the universe, anything else doesn’t count”.

Hell, you’ve literally made me go right back to the chapter to look at what he says, exactly: “I messed things up between us over my damn stupidity”, he... is literally beating himself up about this. To this day. He’s not talking about it proudly. And yet you’re here complaining as though he were?

SPOILER: More people will have feelings for Sokka in future chapters. In fact, I want to make it even MORE people than I’d originally planned after receiving all these asks. I’d rather derail my story into something you can’t stomach reading than cater to you. Azula will outright JOKE about being “jealous” in a future chapter, and Sokka will know it’s a joke! :D And I’m NOT lying about this to mess with you, it IS going to happen and your persistent asks absolutely WON’T make me alter my content. And why is it going to happen, you’ll ask? Why, because nice, charming, charismatic guys like Sokka attract people whether they want to or not. It’s what they DO about attracting others what matters to me! :’) And that Sokka rejects other people who attempt to be with him should be, I think, a much more important message about loyalty to someone you love than “I ONLY EVER ATTRACTED ONE PERSON IN MY LIFE AND MARRIED THEM”. Because I know that’s virtually the only thing you appear willing to accept, going by the first ask.

And holy crap, Ty Lee is... flirting around? Flirting around... with Haru. The guy she’s in a committed relationship with, whom she’s going to marry. The whole situation is meant to be insanely ironic considering Ty Lee is with the guy she SHOULD be with but it looks like it’s something else? (Hell, nobody even KNOWS it was Ty Lee, Mei Xun didn’t stick around long enough to discover the woman’s identity, so her reputation’s actually safe?) But you’re just so emotionally compromised by anything regarding Sokka being with anyone else, even if it’s 1. not true because he’s MILES away, with Azula 2. a joke 3. a plot device for a FUTURE EVENT, that you just can’t grasp this irony at all?

Ty Lee, by design in this story, has ALWAYS been pretty damn liberal about flirting and relationships. Despite we’ve mainly just heard such relationships mentioned on the side, rather than witnessing them directly, she is objectively the cast member who’s had the most relationships, whether serious or casual or just occasional, with other people. And even then, she’s getting married. Even when she’s had so many people in her past, she’s settling down with Haru for good. And Haru? Haru is THRILLED. Because he loves her. Because she loves him. Because HER past does NOT have a single thing to do with THEIR future. And yet you seriously read these chapters, where Ty Lee is having a lot of fun with her fiancé, and your brain just translated this as “OMG TY LEE IS A SLUT HARU DESERVES BETTER!”? Seriously?

I feel like I’m getting asks from a childish version of Drax from Guardians of the Galaxy. Everything that isn’t straightforward needs to be explained point by point, apparently, and even then, you don’t get it. I literally went to literature school and was told to write intelligent fiction so readers would feel compelled to unravel its complexities themselves... apparently that was a big fat lie? :’) Your persistence actually has convinced me that it is.

Oh and, for future reference (because I KNOW you’ll come back, that’s all you ever do): not because you throw compliments at me later to “cushion” your complaint does it mean you’re respecting me and my story. You can’t slap someone in the face and then go “Oh your cheeks are so plump that I bet it doesn’t hurt”. You can’t just disregard my request that you keep these sorts of questions to my PERSONAL blog rather than the fic’s blog, and pretend you respect me. You can’t come to me time after time with the same complaints and attitude, watch how I’ve basically gone from initially responding with discomfort (because, in my personal blog, there are MANY asks that predate yours, where I’d already explained my reasoning to someone else who apparently didn’t get it, which means the subject wears me out, A LOT), then seeing that I started ignoring your asks, then seeing I closed the inbox so I could regain some sense of normalcy in my life that you refused to let me reclaim, and then seeing that I’m answering with outright hostility, and pretend that it’s ME who has a problem.

If someone I respected responded in any similar manner to ANYTHING I said to them, I’d basically feel like shit and never talk to them again because I don’t want to be a burden or a problem for someone whom I value in any way. You, apparently, would rather be a problem, and to no avail, because all you’re achieving so far is convincing me to continue writing things that will make you riot until you stop reading my story. If you CAN’T stop reading regardless of the horrifying, amoral, dreadful decisions I’ve made? Congratulations: you still don’t have the right to tell me what to do with my story. And until you GENUINELY understand that, your compliments don’t mean anything to me. I have readers I value who have conveyed complaints, MANY TIMES, in an actual respectful manner. Readers who are even bothered by the same thing you are. And yet I’m even FRIENDS with them. Imagine that :’) It’s almost like the problem isn’t having whatever opinion you do... but rather, the intent of IMPOSING your opinion constantly and persistently until you’ve driven me to lash out as bluntly and cruelly as I may! To the point I’m outright saying I’m going to rewrite my story into becoming EVERYTHING you don’t want it to be so you leave me alone!

And if you’re not the one who’s been here for a year, and this is not really an echo chamber (despite all of these messages have the same complaints, wording, tone, format, style, punctuation and grammar mistakes), yet you SAW that other people have been doing this for a long time, and thought it was PERFECTLY FINE to join the party? You’re no less of an asshole than the rest of them. No matter if it’s your first time voicing your “opinion”. Because it’s NOT about what you’re saying: it’s about HOW you’re saying it. It’s about trying to guilt trip me into writing whatever you want and claiming the story is going off the rails because something makes you personally uncomfortable. This is NOT objective criticism. This is SUBJECTIVE, ENTIRELY. This isn’t a real problem in storytelling, it’s a personal problem for you because it clashes with your moral values. And NO ONE is forcing you to continue consuming content that goes against your moral values, you’re choosing to do that yourself.

If you’re to live by any of the words you said in these two asks, make it “This is your fic and you can do anything you feel fit”. Because that’s literally what I’m going to do. It’s what I’ve done over EVERY complaint in poor faith I’ve gotten, ranging from “quit writing so much happiness it’s boring” to “where’s the sex you prude”. And it’s what I intend to continue doing. What kind of criticism do I value? “This particular scene features a factually contradictory line with a previous event”, such as Zuko claiming he never went to Sokka’s house when he in fact did, and I plain and simple FORGOT about it. What more kinds of criticism do I value? “You need to work out the Gladiator League’s system better because it’s not a solid business venture”, and this one was right? And yet it was too late to fix it, despite it’s 100% spot-on and I should’ve worked it out way better than I did. Another? “Sokka may have gotten over the fact that Azula captured him and tossed him in a slave market too easily”, because? It’s a perfectly valid sentiment? I disagree because Sokka is canonically shown to get over grudges relatively quickly, and yet I CAN see why it seems too fast for some people. What else do I value? Maybe suggestions on wording problems! I’ve made a lot of stupid wording mistakes, in virtue of being a non-native speaker. I’ve done my best to amend those, but it’s a work in progress even now.

Point and case being: in literature, and thus, in fanfiction? Constructive criticism isn’t “WRITE WHAT I WANT TO READ BECAUSE I WANT TO BE PERFECTLY COMFORTABLE WITH ALL I CONSUME”. Constructive criticism is given by people who KNOW storytelling. So I’d only consider it constructive criticism if it’s given by people who can read those chapters and see that the ENTIRE purpose of that conflict is to trigger growth and development as both Sokka and Azula realize their own mistakes and shortcomings with each other. So, someone who’s giving actual constructive criticism wouldn’t come to my inbox a million times with the same complaint... someone who’s giving constructive criticism would come to my inbox, ONE TIME, and say “Hey, maybe this alternative to conveying Azula is instinctively jealous over her canonical insecurities about being a monster and earning people’s love and loyalties COULD have been preferable, despite I know you can’t change that anymore as it’s fundamental for your story”, or “Hey, I thought of another way for Sokka to convey that he realized their interest in each other could result in something TERRIBLE if they ever acted on their feelings, a way for him to not act on that specific impulse to flirt with Suki to push away Azula, but to act on ANOTHER, believable, IC Sokka-compliant impulse that might still convey exactly what you needed to”. But again, even if it were complaints like THESE? I can’t change anything anymore. It’s TOO LATE. If I think it’s too late to fix Zuko saying “lol I never went to Sokka’s house” when it’s not true? It’s WAY TOO LATE to rewrite chapters that are over SEVEN years old, and I don’t even want to do it to begin with. But I WOULD concede these criticisms. I would accept them. I wouldn’t consider them offensive to me, or my work, or disrespectful in any way.

Constructive criticism is NOT about forcing an author to agree with you, or to do whatever you ask them to. Constructive criticism is about helping an author convey what they were conveying in a better, smoother way. If you CAN’T understand what the author was conveying? You don’t qualify for offering constructive criticism. If you need explanations as to why the author did anything they did? You’re, again, not qualified to offer constructive criticism. Your criticism, in any such cases, is NOT constructive, no matter what you’re telling yourself. This is a VERY important distinction, and one you can’t pretend isn’t valid just by throwing a bunch of compliments at me after telling me I’m ruining my story.

Until the day you DO understand the difference between constructive criticism, and subjective complaints? Your opinions will not be considered valuable enough to affect my story in a positive way. And the more disrespectful you show yourself, by continuing to disregard my DIRECT request for you to stop coming back with these complaints, as well as the direct request to stop sending these questions to this blog? The less your opinions will count for me. I don’t bend over backwards for anyone. And I’m definitely not going to do it for you.

#anon #ask #how long will it be this time #before you return?#I should hold a betting poll #I might actually become rich #that'd be the only silver lining for all the crap you've given me for a year

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Jake Reviews Stuff: Bojack Horseman: Horay Todd Episode! (Plus a little bit on girls with slingshots)

Happy final day of pride month everybody! It’s been a hell of a ride.. and not just because the current landscape of the globe feels like hell right now, And to close it out we’re taking a look at an often overlooked segment of the queer community in media: Asexuality. I first learned about asexuality from the web comic girls with slingshots, because I love comic strips as much as comic books and because mainstream media tens to be really bad about telling people about diffrent facets of the lbtqa+ community, proven by the fact It took me till 2010, 18 years into my existince, to learn trans people existed from the long running candian teen drama Degrassi, birthplace of candian rapper Drake despite his damndest attempts to make people forget that, and a show that actually tackled the subject really well and the horrible shit trans people have to put up with, especially at Adam’s age. I also bring it up to apologize for a lack of trans representation of this pride as I scratched my head trying to think of some.. only to forget “oh yeah that really damn good rocko special from last year exists and has been sitting there all month dumbass” as I was writing this. I’m truly sorry and will try to get a review of static cling out sometime in june as an apology.

Back to Girls with Slingshots though because like with degrassi I want to give it genuine props and a talk here both for teaching me about it and being really good at queer representation in general. We actually meet the comic’s Ace representivie Erin, a shy 19 or 20 year old, when lead and professional dumbass Hazel hired Erin to find out who was dating her friend Jamie.. turns out

Given Jamie had only been dating men up to this point, and her one time with a woman lead to her assuming she wasn’t bisexual, when Jamie TRIED to tell Hazel what was going on Hazel, being kind of a dim, assumed it was an aaron and Erin decided rather than just you know, show up and let the the hamster in hazel’s brain slowly figure it out to do this.

Why yes that is a tiny asexual wearing the most transparent graucho marx-ish disguise ever. And why yes Hazel absolutely falls for it and even when Erin outright takes off the disguise it still takes Hazel a good minute to connect the dots. And why yes, this strip is awesome and is worth taking a large amount of time to talk about in an almost entirely unreatled article, more than i’d planned really. But eventually things hit a snag: the two TRIED having sex before Erin left to go to school in london.. and given i’ve out and out admited she’s asexual, you can guess it went badly, with Jamie feeling bad it was so uncomfortable and didn’t talk to her until visting her in london, where the two patched things up: They still loved each other, Erin was simply asexual and Jamie realized she was biromantic. However this didn’t mean Jamie herself was asexual.. and to Corsetto’s credit she actually fully dealt with this. After Jamie accidently became a meme while complaning about how horny she felt, the two had an honest talk about it, with Erin revealing she was perfectly fine if Jamie hooked up with dudes to satisfy her needs. It was a nice compromise and one of the first times I also learned polyamory wasn’t just something some weird asshole on tv did where he forced three women into what looked like an utterly miserable situation. What i’m saying is polgamy isn’t the same as polyamory and sister wives is objectively terrible and i’ve only seen minutes of it.

In fact the current daily reprint is up to this storyline and has Erin wing womaning for her girlfriend. And yes I do acknowledge this won’t be a solution for EVERY couple, everyone is diffrent.. it was really nice to show a relationship between two people of diffrent and wildly underrepresented sexual orentations that , rather get into a depressing thunderstorm over something like this, talk it out like adults and work out a resonalbe solution. Hence why I took several paragraphs of something else entirely to get into it. If you want more , check the strip out here.

https://www.girlswithslingshots.com

Okay now that plot cul de sac is out of the way, though I don’t regret a minute of it, you see the problem: Girls was the exception not the role and media wise, has a small but loyal fanbase. Big shows just didn’t really get that asexuality existed. But then one decided:let’s go let’s do this... so now i’ve talked about something else entirley for a good few paragraphs let’s talk about Bojack horseman Bojack Horseman is, like SU last time, one of the best shows of the last decade animated or otherwise. And like Steven, and adventure time before steven, it changed the game on what a genre of animation could do. See while Animation was going thorugh another renicssance in the 2010′s, it was mostly on the kids side for the first half.. Adult Animation was...

While there were good shows,after all Archer is a child of the 2010′s, bob’s burgers premired shortly after, and venture bros was, and still is, goin.. they were the exception. Family Guy was devloving from a really funny show to a horrible, unfunny mess that was and probably still is the television equilvent of screaming racist and offensive things just to piss people off and thus get attention and Adult Swim hit a slump, with several great shows like metalocalypse slowly leaving, and most that was left were garbage like Mr.Pickles. It .. wasn’t a great time.

But around half way two shows changed things and most adult animation stood up and took notice; Rick and Morty, which while i’m not as much of a fan these days was and still to some small degree is a really funny show while also having a deeply complex and deeply deconstructed lead. And around the same time. we got Bojack. As you probably know, Bojack was the tale of Bojack Horseman, a former 90′s sitcom star who starred in Horsin Around, basicaly fully house if uncle joey adopted orphans with bits of other tgif shows mixed in. Also he’s a horse and this world has a mixture of humans and various anthropormphic animals. And they dont’ shy away from that either and use that for a LOT of great jokes. Anyways Bojack is now a washed up asshole whose done tons, and as the show goes on continues to do, terribe things to get where he was, and is now trying to hang on to the scraps of his career. Around him are Princess Caroline, a pink cat and his agent and ex-girlfriend who wants a real realtionshpi , a baby and her career to go somewhere, Mr. Peanutbutter, Bojack’s dim aquantince who was on a ripoff show (which only PB seems not to get and is even called “Untitled horsing around ripoff project” at first in a flashback) and is really nice but also really bad at reading people, Diane, PB’s wife for most of the series who soon becomes bojack’s friend when she’s hired to do his autobigoraphy, and today’s subject, Todd, a 20 something cloudcuckoolander who crashed on Bojack’s couch after a party, and just.. never left since Bojack thought todd was kicked out for being gay and brought him in for brownie points (he was just lazy), and then despite insulting Todd constanlty kept him around because he was crushingly lonely and before Diane, had no other friends. There’s obviously more to it. more evolutions but as the episode title shows, today’s ep is all about Todd, so we’ll be focusing on what he’s been up to: Todd spent most of the first two seasons just kinda.. bouncing around. Whlie the a-plots could be more serious, most todd plots were wacky palette cleansears, from him ending up in jail and trying to court two gangs at once like it was that one episode of family ties every sitcom sense has copied, made a giant copy of his own head over months, or started a safe cab company for women that somehow ended up as stripper cabs. Season 3 however added more weight: Bojack’s various slights against Todd were piling up, and he was starting to get tired of it, the straw that broke the camel’s back coming when Todd’s ex emily, who todd failed to sleep with because he didn’t want to but, not knowing what an asexual even was, couldn’t comincate with it and bojack having a really bad track record of thinking with his dick.. you can kinda see what happened.

Finding out much later, after Bojack used emily telling him not to as an easy way out of telling him and both were kinda stupid with that, and Todd eventually found out something happened.. but when Bojack tells him it was sex, Todd is genuinely suprised and had, for the last time expected better of him. Really Todd is a great deconsturction of the wacky sidekick in shows like this: the often abused optimist oppisite of the pesmist asshole protaganist. But here it shows.. that can only go on so long. You can only treat a person like dogshit so many times before they grow tired of you and as Todd prepares to move out and bum around somewhere else we get one of the most iconic, and best, scenes in the series as Todd unloads on bojack after the horse tries apologizing.. couched in excuses.

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“It’s you bojack, it’s alwasy eben you” This scene hit like a truck, not just due to Aaron Paul absolutley killing it, but because as someone with a bad habit, even sometimes falling back into it, of justifying why I did something bad afterwords or blaming other people for far too long, if not NEARLY to the extent bojack did, it resonated. Sure those kinds of things may have LEAD you to the things you do but sometimes, your just doing shitty things and no amount of reason for it makes it okay. And it was a bold step to take: while the two talked on occasion and their friendship KINDA regrew, it never REALLY recovered from this. Things didn’t go back in the bottle. Bojack lost one of his best friends as his friend.. they were in the same orbit but it’d never be the same. Todd did eventually tell Emiliy what he was dealing with and Emily told him what he was, and Todd started crashing on mr.peanutbutter’s couch because, unsuprisingly, the two eventually became close friends. So with Emily out of the picture, while she liked todd she needded sex and neither of them thought of an open relationship, that’s where we find Todd, grapling with his asexuality while getting into his usual wacky misadventures, which hadn’t and would never stop, as evidenced by the horrifying sex robot he created to try and please emily in a later season. So with all of that FINALLY out of the way. we can finally dig into horay todd episode after the read more. Because while i’m going to try doing that less to get more readers.. this episode is giant just at the introduction and is a half an hour long.

We open with an orchestra, nervous Todd won’t show up for his solo.. because of course Todd’s a regular part of an orchestra now. He shows up in time to do his bit on the triangle, cheers all around

Att the bar, the various musicians wonder just who Todd is. Was in a prison gang? (Yes two in fact as stated above) A foreign prince?? ( He looked just like one and they swapizesd for an episode), a tech billionare? (For all of five minutes) Or is he both?... there isn’t a both here I don’t know why I did that. However the conductor roars in, he’s a lion, .. and it’s keith david everybody!

As you can probably wager Keith David is a faviorite of mine, one of the best voice actors around, a fantastic live actor, and just all around awesome dude.. and still pretty damn hot at 64. And while this is a minor role, ANY time keith david shows up is cause for celebration and I honestly forgot he was in this, so it was a nice suprise.

We then find out how the two know each other, with the conductor calling Todd “The most giving man he’s ever known.” Accurate. Todd once saved his pregnant daughter from a shipwreck carrying her on his back, delivered said baby on a piece of driftwood then circumcised said baby while hanging from a rescue copter.. and also had a spirited but respectful debate before hand about how circumcion had fallen out of vouge, with them eventually deciding on it since the lions are jewish and she’d like the option for the baby to join the relgion if he so chooses when they grow up. Which is both a great gag and a nice nod to circumcisons not being popular these days, and makes todd even awesome. I mean not every man would not only be repsectful when talking to a mother about this, but do so while hanging from a helicopter. Also props to the old timey paperback illustrations, which doubly sell the sudden debate bit. It’s something I love the show: while it’s one of the most depressing in existance, it’s also god a wonderfully goofy sense of humor that helps ballance things out. The conductor then explains todd later filled in last year when their triangle player died after getting his foot stuck in his triangle, another good one, but worries about todd and just how MUCH the man gives and wishes sometimes to see him not there when his part comes up, to see Todd give for himself. Then of course Todd spoils the move by coming out drenched in water with greasy hands, having tried to wash taco stains off his shirt, but then got greasy hands from said taco he ewa sstill holding and being trapped in a bathroom for an hour. That’s Todd in a nutshell: He can be legendary, selfless and utterly helpful or insightful one minute, and somehow get trapped in a hallway for an entire episode the next. That.. actually happened in case you either didn’t know or entirely forgot. Cue Credits.. a FIRST for this show suprisingly. Given most shows i’ve done are 11 minutes the credits usually happen before the show and I just forget to talk about them. I”ll breifly say the credits for Bojack are exellent and I love how they evolved and changed as each season wore on, and give the team kudos for doing what most shows just simply won’t or can’t do in western animation.

We’re at the peanutbutter residence, where PB is in the middle of his political campagin, working with his controlling and assholish ex wife katrina, and Todd gives him some pocket cheese to help but get’s shoed off and works on breakfast in the background with a giant egg for some reason. Probably because all animals are sentient here. And yes they explained how they still got meat. Anyways, Diane is annoyed that Katrina wants PB to decide if he’s for or against fracking based on public approval, insstead of you know just.. being against it because it’s wrong. She’s STILL better about it than that one episode of last man of earth I watched where the straw man liberal asshole argued with the consertaive asshole lead over a pothole they had and refused to just let his son belivie god exists because it calmed him down and in the next one forcibly dressed said son up as coal to mock his future mother in law because he’s as bad as the lead character, because this show is miserable and Ryan is what the writers apparently think a liberal is. Anyways as this goes on we see Todd.. pulling his weight. He packs diane a lunch, leaves it by her purse as she gets ready to go to work, makes said giant egg into an omlette for pb and sets up a nice breakfast complete wtih his medication hidden inside because dog. We see that despite crashing there Todd has grown from where he was and is now making sure to actively contribute to the house as thanks for letting him stay. Anyways PB needs his glasses to take them off to seem sincer because he left htem at princess carolyn’s, she also represents Peanut Butter, Todd and Diane. Todd heads off, though dosen’t sign for a package as he once ended up with cremated remains, or cremains as he calls them and I now will, over it because of course he did and heads off while a mysterious horse in a trench coat watches... more on her in a bit.

At Carolyn’s agency , PC annoynces “it’s todd” with todd giving back an excited it’s me... he should enter the room like that every time. It really fits. Anyways, it turns out PC needed him for help with actress Courtney Pourtnory, whose in femalecentric Taken spinoff ms.taken, which i’m shocked wasn’t an actual movie. There’s also a lot of tounge twisting puns which as always Amy Sedaris flawlessly delivers and that i’ll miss now the show is gone. Anyways Courtney isn’t seen as relatable so PC goes with the oldest trick in the book: have some normal guy date the celebrity to see them as relatbale and well todd’s on retainer. Todd is reluctant, less so due to his asexuality and more because he’s not only already busy with the sunglass errand, but has a meeting tonight. intresting. But PC ensures todd it’s no trouble and they can just do lunch for the paparazzi and todd does like the idea of having his picture taken. “It’s proof I exist.” It’s the same reason I hate having mine taken. It’s proof I still exist and this hell year hasn’t ended yet.

Back at the campagin unsuprisingly what todd didn’t sign for was important and Katrina just tells him to sign for Pb next time, which is like giving a dog a play bone that also has a dart full of poison that shoots out of it into the rest of the living room. There’s no way this ends well and you should know that. So Katrina asks him to dance a little sidestep on the issue instead.

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This movie is eh but this musical number is awesome and I will use it at any opportunity. Rest in peace Charles Durning. It helps it’s still relevant as hell for both sides of the isle. Anyways Todd signs a letter to the state goverment because again, telling todd to do something without even remotely thinking about it is like giving a baby a boomerang loaded with nitro glcyerne, but soon gets cloroformed by our mysterious viewer. “And down goes todd. “.. said by todd himself because of course he did> God bless this man and aaron paul’s performance. “And up comes todd!” .. whose, not suprisingly, apparently been drugged and/or knocked out enough to have a catchphrase for these situations. After grabbing a pool skimmer for defense because you know a stranger just kidnapped him, the stranger calms him down and introduces himself: And this is where we properly meet Hollyhock.. Manheim-Mannheim-Guerrero-Robinson-Zilberschlag-Hsung-Fonzerelli-McQuack which I copied directly from the wiki because this review is already running long and running behind, and I don’t want to spend an hour trying to copy that from the episode itself. The nightmare of a name, which is a running gag is because she was adopted.. by 8 gay men in a polyamours relationship. And one of them is apparently related to launchpad.

Anyways Hollyhock, who called at the end of last season to no answer, thinks Bojack might be her dad and thus bought a spy kit to figure out. And used the cholorform, if apologizing for it because once you’ve got it you can’t not use it. Todd is unsuprised by both things; As bojack hilariously but horrifyingly put it his penis was like sun dried tomatoes in the 90′s: it was on everything, and Bojack himself had that kit, mostly using it on himself because of course he did. She tracked down Todd because Todd was in Bojack’s book as his roomate. Todd explains they no longer live together and Bojack has been missing, long story there though we do know where he was due to the last episode, but since Hollyhock really dosen’t need to meet him just wants his dna to find out if he’s related or not, so Todd suggest sher house. Time for more cloroform!

At Bojack’s place Todd wonders where to find a hair, since most ladies Bojack is with understandably shower afterwords only for Holly to find one.. and a sleeping unconcious clearly spiraling once again Bojack. Todd lament siwth an oh bojack: just because he’s mostly done with the guy dosen’t mean he still dosen’t care. Todd’s still a good guy and still dosen’t want to see his former friend go through this for the 80th time... he’s just done being the one to be there for him through it and that’s understandably. Hollyhock yanks a hair which does nothing to wake him, unsuprisingly, but the mention of “blowing this place” makes Bojack wakes up as he thinks people has blow. it’s also telling that he’s worried Todd’s going to yell at him again and that he’s clearly stills marting from his understandable telling off. Todd is force dto make up an excuse since Hollyhock VERY understandably dosen’t want to tell him the truth, and Todd lightly rebuff’s bojack’s attempts to be pals again.. given he hasn’t really changed, it’s understandable. Also Hollyhock cloroforms him to get out of BOjack asking more questions and sends todd to take the dna to a place. Todd heads to a 1 hour dna testing lab, because of course there’s one this is LA. But without Hollyhock’s dna they can’t do it but the guy says to come back with it in an hour after he’s done with lunch.. which gets Todd to realize OH SHIT I HAVES A DATE and he runs off. The fact he DIDN’T actually say that is a suprise.

At the date Courtney transparently breaks up with Todd for publicity as Todd is utterly confused, before getting reminded about hollyhock. This scene just kind of happened so have the first gif I find typing “David Byrne” into gif search.

Back at Bojack’s house all Hollyhock’s done is snoop around, finding Bojack’s box of bad reviews of other people’s sitcoms because of COURSE he has that, eat a full box of donuts and take a nap.. given the simliiarity todd isn’t sure they need that test. Hollyhock naturally refuses and just wants to use todd’s hair but since the dna guy said that don’t work, they find some in her comb. Todd however has to cover for the earlier Maid excuse he gave bojack, nice bit of foreshadowing there, and cleans up the house while Hollyhock sits around. I know she’s not his daughter, still related but still and even I’m having a hard time beliving the truth. No sooner than does Todd put out that fire, than things get worse; Naturally the signutre was for pro fracking and while Katrina is pissed, not fairly as again, it’s like she handed a baby a shot gun for tots that make sa funny noise when you pull the trigger and is suprised that he shot up the couch. Anyways PB is understandabily more worried his wife will be upset he has to support fracking now, and Todd untietionally offers to distract her from the media while Hollyhock takes a nap because she feels.. really diffrent early on. While parts of her horseman traits would remain here she’s far less friendly or helpful than she would be later on in this half of the episode. it’s not BAD as sometimes it takes an episode or two for a character to properly become what their like for the rest of the series, it’s just WEIRD. Like Red Green’s monotone in early Red Green Show episodes it just feels.. off.

Todd rushes off to Girl Croosh, the click baity blog diane works for because I forget when things happened sometimes, where Todd is doing the most todd distraction possible: Telling diane to look at him while he dances. Which to Diane’s shock has been going on for 45 minutes.

Diane’s boss Stefani comes in voiced by the wonderful Kimiko Glenn who I admited to loving as a voice actress, and having a crush on back in my first close enough review and still stand by. She’s wonderful. Stefani berates diane for not being clickbaity enough, other plot for this season etc etc next todd crisis. Princess Carolyn is annoyed they didn’t get a picture of courtney with todd.. even though she left first but this eems to be the “blame todd for things that are either not his fault or you should’ve expected by talking to him for five minutes” episode. Anyways PC says to be at the shark jacob’s fashion show in 30 minutes, and Diane bemoans trying to get people to pay attention to the world sucking. Todd shows some more competence and actually gives her a good metaphor: When mr.peanutbutter dosen’t want to take his pill, as I expected, Todd disgusied it.. though in the cheese. Just do that: put some hot goss around the rest of it. Todd, to keep her away from the computer with a literal headline that reads “Mr.Peanutbutter supports fracking and hasn’t told his wife yet”, because this show is amazing, makes up a story about Channing Tatum having an illgitamte daughter and gives her the testing hairs. The theme of this scene, and the episode really is that people underestimate todd: understandably the man got lost in a bathroom at the top of this episode and refused to sign a package because of past shenangians... but because of that they fail to see that todd is .. actually really compitent, insightful and caring. IN this one scene he actually suceeds in his mission in the dumbest, toddest way possible, then on the fly kills two errands with one stone while also giving Diane genuinely good advice. But the big question the episode poses is.. what does TODD want at the end of the day and just how much of this “doing everyones shit for htem” should he take?

As Todd passes a sheep with a wonderful “The end of the wool is coming’ sign, he sneaks into the fashion show.. we also see a background model bird smoking that I SWEAR is a protytpe for tuca, just with a diffrent bodytype and a more aloof, supermodely face. Though if this is the same universe it could just be a sister of hers. It’s not out of the realm of posiblity. And yes I will defintely be talking Tuca and Bertie at some point, especially once it comes back next year. Being todd he ends up walking the runway instead, and it goes poorly, but Todd telling them that fashion shouldn’t be elitest somehow works and he become a hit. Also Tim Gunn is there as himself, beacause this show liked to mix animal versions of celebrites iwth the real ones, and sometimes had the real ones voice the animal versions of themsselves. Todd also gets a call from Diane: it’s a match. ALso I forgot Todd’s wonderful ringtone which is him , to the opening of that one betooven song going “todd todd todd TODD!” Magical Back at the horseman residence, Bojack’s sent hollyhock to go thank channing tatum for collecting his mail and goes through all the mail that piled up while he was MIA. He’s also wallowing about his miss opprtotunites, some involving pottery barn. He’s suprised by PB’s governor run, with Todd countering that of course he knew he’s been around and when Bojack asks how Diane feels Todd shoots that down right away and insists he just ask her himself, and again counters; Does she even know he’s back? Bojack insists he’s no tready, and he’s only told Todd he’s back.. and his various drug guys, channing tatum, and hollyhock. But not his inner circle. And given he and PB tend to not mesh well, though it is getting better at this point, he ruined things with Todd, he dropped PC for entirely warranted reasons.. Diane really IS the only person he has to call and he’s likely afraid of disapointing her. He then tells Todd to friend break up with channing tatum, with todd thinking his speech was about him and being understandably disapointed. I also like Todd’s attiude here: he’s done just.. taking Bojack’s shit and isn’t going to stick around for it and only really agrees to go to channing tatums because Hollyhock’s over there and he needs to tell her.

Todd goes over and lies to hollyhock after warning her BOjack might not be readyf or a daughter and Hollyhock expresses her own doubts. Then diane shows up and Todd’s force dto play being channing tatum so they both don’t get arrested for trespassing. Diane confronts channig with her thoughts he’s the father, which hollyhock instnatly realizes exactly what that means, but relents on doing so, not wanting to be that kind of journalest and ruin someone’s life for her own benefit. Todd gives her a pep talk and she accepts it’s him because it’s what she thinks channig tatum would say and leaves with a cheery “love half your movies. Hollyhock meanwhile has fled, obviously upset and before Todd can deal with THAT, he gets another call, clearly tired at this point as am I as i’m not only not used to reviewing 22 minute shows anymore, let alone 30 minute ones, but I have a ticking clock due to my own procastination. She once again gets mad at him, this time a bit more understandably, and Todd darts off to meet courtney.

The two talk, and Courntey is dressed like todd only her hat is 50 dollars.. and that’s a hella don’t... I miss Macklemoore. Anyway, Courtney opens up about being seen by everyone but not being seen at the same time.. which todd relates to even if courtney can’t fathom someone having the same feelings, but admits it’s nice to talk about it while Todd laments about his meeting, worrying h’es not ready yet. That what if it goes badly? What if the idea of something is better than the truth. I realate both due to my anxiety proving that and because as a comics nerd and general nerd, that’s happened more times than I can count, both with legendary stories that turned out to not be very good or something I really looked forward to turning out to be a mess, like It Chapter 2, or Zoolander 2, or Secret Empire or.. point is Courtney does relate to that and prefers fiction and the paparazzi, the same ones who tailed bojack for multiple episodes in season 1, eat it up with Courtney announcing their engagment iwth todd responding with “Horay i’m confused!”... that’s me all day everyday buddy.

Todd goes back to Bojack’s to find Hollyhock, and being a good friend even to someone who certainly dosen’t deserve it at this point, tells Bojack the truth.. which he reflexvley denies before Todd admits she didn’t want to tell him and Bojack. understands and once again piles pity on himself.

We then get the scene that got me to review this in the first place.. thanks asshole! All jokes aside, the two have an honest conversation: Bojack, while not outright saying sorry admits all he does is hurt people and he slept with the one person he ever saw todd be in love with... given it’s hard for him to give out a genuine apology, it’s still a good moment as it shows Bojack, even if he screws up constantly, is really apologetic about destroying their freindship. That part also shows WHY it was wrong: Sure todd couldn’t and wouldn’t sleep with her.. but it dosen’t change the fact Bojack SHOULDN’T have , knew what he was doing, did it anyway and then never told him.

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He continues with it though after todd wonders if he’s evne allowed to love. , saying he got more of Todd than he deserved, and all the guy asked for was a roof over his head and the ocasional smore in a baquet, and tells todd he didn’t deserve him and he really appricated him. This.. actually gets Todd to open up and he comes out as Asexual to bojack which after making it clear it means he’s not a sexual deviant, dynamo or what have you, a great wordplay gag, that he’s just not sexual.. Bojack.. shockingly and to Todd’s suprise dosen’t think it’s weird like he expected, but is thrilled and honeslty wishes sometimes he was asexual and we get what I consider to be the best joke of the seris. Bojack; Maybe then I wouldn’t have A strain of herpes Todd; You have multiple strains Bojack: I know, it only works with the A. Todd feels.. good.. while i’m not Ace myself I am bisexual and both times i’ve come out, first to my mom and a few friends, then to the rest of the world this month on facebook, it felt.. freeing. To not have to worry or hide no more.. to just be who you are.. and it feels.. good to Todd. While Bojack tries to slide back into friendship since todd isn’t mad about Emily anymore, Todd gently stops him: It wasn’t just here, as I made clear earlier, he’s not ready to be his friend again.. but hes ready to be more than NOT friends. While their freindship won’t be the same anymore, as Todd makes painfully clear.. Todd gives him a genuine i’t’s good to see you as he leaves. Again he may not LIKE the guy anymore and understandably dosen’t want to be the only person he can count on in bojack’s life... he still wants the guy to be okay, which the fans could probably relate to the whole damn series; Being fed up with his bullshit and TERRIBLE TERRIBLE actions, but wanting him to be better already. The door rings.. and it’s HOllyhock. We MIGHT get to that another time, but for now we close out Pride, and todd’s tale as todd goes to his meeting... which as it turns out...

While there is still more miles on Todd’s journey, ending his sham engagement set up here, a failed relationship and a sucessful relationship at the end of the series, not to mention reconcliation with his family... Todd takes an important step and takes what he wants, finding his people and being proud of who he is.. and that’s sometimes the best and hardest step. And we get a nice button on the framing device as Todd misses his solo for the first time, to the conductors delight. The End.

Final Thoughts: This was a really good rewatch. While not AS heavy as some other bojack episodes, it still has plenty of good character work, moving along or setting up several plots for the season without any of it feeling forced whlie giving Todd added depth in his coming out story. Todd still dosen’t fully understand what his asexuaity is and is scared to be open with it.. but that beautiful scene above is what makes the episode work as is the ending right after: By finally telling someone he knows, and by being accepted by the last person he’d expect to not only understand what Todd is but embrace it.. he can finally find others like him to help him through it and finally find something for himself after giving so much to everyone else while asking nothing in return. That’s also a nice bit of deconsturction here... while Todd’s happy to help we do ssee bouncing from storyline to storyline actually wears on him and that sometimes it’s tiring being the guy everyone assumes has nothing but time for htem. It’s a nice development and Aaron Paul does it beauitfully and I do stand by HIS casting, as unlike with Allison brie where they knew diane would be an vitamese woman and cast a white woman anyway, though to Ralph-Paul’s credit, he’s throughly apologized for this and Allison Brie herself recently also apologized for it personally in the wake of the recent black lives matter lead call to not have white actors voice People of Color anymore. Also props to Jenny SLate for, if a bit late , still leaving big mouth for the last two seasons and apologizing herself among with any other actor or actress whose dropped a role as a POC when their white. It’s a good trend. But here.. I get why they didn’t try and get rid of Aaron Paul. It was probably hard enough to get executives to give a shit about Ace representaation enough to let htem do it, adding “firing a big name draw to replace him wiht a likely no name” was probably a bridge too far and sadly, sometimes you have to pick your battles, and they picked getting to have an ace character at all and to Aaron Paul’s credit he’s been an Ace ally ever since. HOpefully in the future we will get more ace chracters and more ace actors and actresses playing the part, but every journey begins with a sigle step and this storyline was a huge one. But overall the episode is truly fantastic, a highight in a series full of amazing episodes and it was a good note to go out on for this month. I won’t stop doing LBGTQA reviews obviously, and I should’ve added the a way sooner, but it’s been fun doing them and i’ve been proud too. Some have been better than others but the better one shave been some of my best work. So as we live in uncertain and stupid times, stay safe , black live matter and your all beautiful. I have other stuff in the works; a full steven unvierse arc, regular coverage and of course that “sorry I was a moron” static cling review, but until then, I love you all and i’d like, if I may, to close on a song... not by me obviously my singing voice is “sorta adaquate I guess’ at best.

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#bojack horseman #girls with slingshot #todd chavez #princess carolyn #mr.peanutbutter #diane nyugen #courtney pountory #horay todd episode #asexuality #ace pride #pride month #lbgtqa #lbgtq+#pride #pride marathoon.#reviews #animation #jake

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tiergan-vashir · 5 years ago

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Hey Tiergan, do you have any advice or links of advice that I can give to my friend? They are dealing with someone trying to blend ooc and ic together to get what they want out of my friend. And I don’t know how to phrase how toxic this is without upsetting my friend deeply.

Going to go out on a limb and assume that you are facing the following scenario: The asshole in question is mixing IC and OOC, because they - out of character - really want a specific IC result. To achieve this, they’re use the RP itself as a tool to try and pressure, force, or guide the RP towards their desired IC outcome instead of the fun, spontaneous, consensual thing it’s supposed to be.

In fact, they may be using the RP as escapism and feel entitled to specific behaviors from your friend, which is dangerously ripe for abuse.

If this is the situation you’re dealing with, then perhaps it might help your friend if you pointed how it is totally normal to have ideas and head-canons that you would be excited to see happen if they were to occur in RP between you and your friends’ characters ...with the caveat that you don’t expect it, feel entitled to it, or try to railroad the RP in that direction.

You hope these ideas might happen, you don’t know if they will happen, but you’re willing to see how things go and explore where the characters take you.

OR if you really, really would love to see if a certain head-canon is actually possible between your characters without leaving it up to chance - you just have an open OOC conversation to see if your RP buddy would be up for it. If yes? Awesome. Go forth and create great stories together. If no? Drop the idea entirely. It’s that simple. RP is supposed to be a fun relaxing hobby. It’s collaborative storytelling. You are creating a narrative together with your friend and it should be a team effort.

What’s not normal is using IC actions and roleplay as a tool to try and force another player’s hand or pressure them towards a specific RP result, even if the second player is not entirely okay with it and perhaps hasn’t even consented. This is intensely manipulative behavior and it robs other people of not just their agency over their characters, but their choices and freedoms in how they would like to enjoy what should otherwise be a fun, relaxing, not-super-serious hobby in a video game.

This behavior is not all that different from all the stories we’ve heard of creepy fuckboys using RP as a tool to pressure others into sexual situations they didn’t really ask for. In fact, I would say creepy fuckboy RPers are experts at weaponizing RP to pressure other people towards the RP outcomes the fuckboys desire.

You can tell when another RPer has lost sight of things and is potentially being a massive abusive shit when they stop having regular open chats with their partners about what direction their partners might like to see the RP could go in. Or they don’t seem all that interested in their partners having an active and equal say over in what happens to their character in RP. Or most importantly - they rarely stop to check or gauge whether their partners are is still having fun!

The reason why assholes have so much success using the roleplay itself as a tool to force people to behave a certain way IC or take the story in a certain direction, is because it’s very easy for them to wave a hand and say “It’s just RP.” “This is what my character wants.” “I can’t help that this is what my character feels!”

They pass the buck to the fictional character, so they can evade being held accountable for poor behavior while conveniently forgetting that “My RP partner is really uncomfortable with where the RP is going” is an OOC problem that can only be solved with the OOC solution of having some honest, open communication about where you both would like the RP to go in so you both have fun instead of plowing ahead at the expense of your friend’s comfort.

If the two of you talk and it turns out both of you want dramatically different things in RP and there is no compromise where both of you can fully enjoy yourselves - you shouldn’t be RPing together and should be finding different, more compatible RP partners. Full stop. There’s no harm in realizing that that perhaps you and your friend are not aligned in what you both need to be happy in RP. If your partner wants all romance RP all the time with lots and lots of ERP and you hate it - then it’s okay to acknowledge that maybe you need to split ways and find people who like the things you also like.

If all of this ramble isn’t terribly useful without a clear example, here is a personal one I’ll share under the cut (NEVERMIND, TUMBLR’S CODE IS FUCKING GARBAGE. I’m sorry this is a massive post.) of what I went through with my first Romance RP in this community with a player I eventually just cut off entirely.

When I first joined FFXIV, I decided to try some Romance RP with a person who played a fellow escaped-slave capable of casting magic. This character was designed to be shy, submissive, demure, afraid to trust and fearful of being caught/sent back to their master, but ultimately also noble and working grow and learn to trust others in the big wide scary world.

However, if Tiergan (and by extension, I) did anything the player did not like, such as speaking to or befriending a person they perceived as a romantic ‘threat’, doing or saying anything they did not like, going to the ‘wrong’ place, or going ANYWHERE without them - their character would immediately respond with intense vitriol and rage, asserting that clearly Tiergan did not love them enough, did not care enough, and wasn’t trying hard enough. For if Tiergan truly loved them, he would stop talking to x-person, would stop going places without them, would stop doing or thinking certain things and taking certain actions.

They would say all the things they knew would draw out a specific response out of my character and have him redoubling his efforts doing exactly what was desired of him.

I should point out all this character’s actions above are intensely emotionally abusive IC and all of that would be fine if I had signed up for it. If I knew it was going to be that way, and consented to it, I would’ve been fine. But I didn’t. And it was clear after a certain point that this player was not intentionally playing an emotionally manipulative, abusive character - but that they themselves were emotionally abusive. They were simply trying to weaponize the RP in a way that would force me in the direction they wanted and and would punish Tiergan (and by extension, me) for not playing our role as the big beefy sexy warrior lover to their liking.

This player was also highly controlling. They wanted our characters to be together at all times and they wanted to be involved in all of my RP - even in situations where it wouldn’t make any sense for their character to come along or I didn’t have permission to bring them. If Tiergan left without them, whether because he (or I) needed space or I literally wasn’t allowed to bring them, because it wasn’t my plot or my event - Tiergan was punished, guilt-tripped, and told all sorts of terrible things.

The IC threat this player used the most often when Tiergan did something they didn’t want was that they would “return back to their master”, citing “at least my master truly loves me” - because they knew it was the fastest way to get Tiergan to break down and beg for forgiveness. Things eventually built up to the point of violence where the character electrocuted Tiergan in his own metal armor out of anger of him not being the kind of lover they expected out of him.

They used their character’s extreme displeasure to trigger certain reactions out of my character that they knew Tiergan would have to make it easier to isolate me from any other RPer that they saw as a romantic threat, or stop me from engaging in any RP without them, or participating in any plot that they were not directly invited to, or doing anything they didn’t really want Tiergan to do - and it took me a while to realise something was wrong because “it was just RP”.

Hopefully all of this ramble helps somehow. It’s definitely a tricky, messy situation and your friend honestly might not realise they’re in deep shit until it’s too late depending on the level of manipulation. If they don’t listen to you, sometimes the best you can do is just let them know you are there as support and they can turn to you if they need. That way, if things go horribly wrong, they know they can turn to you for help.

Good luck anon.

#long post #advice #Anonymous #longpost #long long post

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ais-n · 5 years ago

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Hi, if you enjoy Whyborne and Griffin then I can wholeheartedly recommend KJ Charles to you. Her entire work in general and the Magpie Lord in particular. If you need/want anymore recommendations I can give you some pointers. In any case W & G just got its conclusion recently and I am very happy with how it all ended :D

Thanks! It’s funny because I was recommended Magpie Lord, Whyborne & Griffin, and another series all at the same time so I can totally see why you rec Magpie/KJ too. I think probably a lot of people would agree with you so I do think for anyone who read W&G or Magpie Lord and liked it, you should listen to sianascera :)

I thought about just saying “thanks!” and not saying more because I hate ever seeming like a contrary asshole, but I’m also way too damn honest and I felt like I’d be lying if I didn’t continue… This worry going back and forth stalled me for days on figuring out how to reply, because I’m a dork ¬_¬

To compromise, here’s a longer ass reply, but I’ll put it behind a cut so as not to bug anyone who doesn’t care.

In all honesty, I actually tried Magpie Lord before Whyborne & Griffin and didn’t like it, sadly, so I don’t plan to read anything else in that series. But I did think the beginning was intriguing, I liked the world concept, and KJ’s writing style was fine from what I recall, so I’ll definitely keep her in mind for other series. It might be that other series she writes will work well for the things I tend to gravitate toward and I just happened to not connect well with that particular series.

The problem I had with Magpie Lord is a similar problem I have with like 99.99% of BL or m/m, which is why I’m exceedingly picky with things I will read, and then what I like, and especially what I will go on to recommend to others. I don’t know how many series or books I’ve read in the m/m world but for the longest time there was only 2 series I recommended, and now it’s tentatively expanded to 4. Even within those series, I don’t find them to be perfect, but nothing is. Still, something about each of them overran any misgivings I might have otherwise had at any point in time (if any), and for all of the series I’ve read them multiple times which is otherwise not super usual for me.

Your comment caused me to analyze what it is about those 4 series that for whatever reason works for me as a reader that the other series out there I’ve read don’t. It isn’t necessarily about the world, the plot, the characters, the dialogue, the writing voice, the length, any of that. Those are all factors, but they are not the sole or even oftentimes primary deciding factor in whether I will ultimately like, reread, and recommend a story.

I realized that, for me, power dynamics between a couple is really important (especially in any sort of romance or romance-adjacent story), in that I don’t like relationships that don’t have trust, respect, and equality or give-and-take at the center of it. I also really prefer stories where consent is very consciously addressed, both in that it’s given but also that it remains, and if ever something wavers within that, it’s acknowledged and addressed. I really like stories that take their time getting the couple to get to know each other before it’s instasex, and where sex isn’t used as the way to solve or avoid problems without there being consequences, and where it isn’t just automatically assumed that sexuality = consent and interest. Like, I’m gay but I’m also ace. Just because there’s a woman who’s also a lesbian around me doesn’t mean I’m going to instantly want to sex her. Likelihood is exceedingly low for that, in fact, even if I weren’t ace.

I also like stories where the main characters’ merits and flaws remain evident throughout, but they find ways to accommodate each other, or account for the quirks of the other person. I really like stories where you can tell there’s love and respect and trust between the main couple, and especially when we first get to watch that be earned rather than jumping straight from meeting to xyz.

And then I’m also exceedingly picky outside of that entire topic; I’m a character-driven reader, so I have to connect with one or more characters well enough to stay engaged. I also get bored quickly, so I want the plot to be decent, although a great plot is even better. I like good dialogue or interesting narration. I appreciate versatile writing voices. Most importantly for a series, not only does the series have to be good in each book, but ideally over the course of the series it gets better, AND the ending has to be adequate or at least not frustrate me to the point that it tarnishes the rest of the series leading up to it.

I know I’m super picky about all this and that the majority of stories can’t really meet all those expectations, which is why I don’t read a ton of series anymore because I got kind of burned out over the years.

Also, to be clear: There’s absolutely nothing whatsoever wrong with anyone who likes all the things I mentioned I like to avoid. When I was younger, my view of power dynamics between a couple was drastically different than it is now. I also felt that at that time we had fewer options out there in general in the whole LGBT field, and one reason I initially got into m/m or BL is because it was the only LGBT content I could find at the time, plus because I was character-driven in feeling that some canon characters who happened to both be male really fit each other so much better than others did for them.

But the things I tend to like in this regard are not really super popular as a whole across the genre, so it just reinforces to me that I’m extremely picky on this particular topic. Which means that just because I’m too picky for certain things, others may super love it, and that’s awesome! I love that there are so many different stories out there, so many different perspectives both as readers/writers as well as within the stories themselves. It’s so awesome

I actually do totally plan to read that one short story that KJ and Jordan wrote together--I took a break from W&G because I’m now rereading for the millionth time the Raised by Wolves series by W.A. Hoffman--but I think it’ll be really interesting to see if maybe that story pulls me into a different world KJ writes, who knows. I think it’s so cute that The Secret Casebook of Simon Feximal was mentioned in W&G as a book Griffin just had lying around. For some reason, that little detail delighted me lol So I’m def curious about the whole Simon Feximal thing. Especially since the art I saw commissioned for it looks dooooope

Oh btw, though - side note, the cover of Magpie Lord is so cool! *___* I love it so much!

Anyway that was my unnecessarily long answer, sorry lol I just didn’t want you to think I ignored you if I never mentioned Magpie Lord again. I was bummed I didn’t like the story, tbh; it started out strong for me and I went into it initially assuming I would love it. Unfortunately, in the end it just happened to be a story that didn’t work for me primarily because of the couple, but like I said, I’m definitely up for trying other series KJ writes, starting with Simon Feximal ones. Depending on how that goes, I’ll see about checking out anything else she does.

And if it turns out the Simon books also don’t work for me, it’s just a personal thing from someone who’s picky as hell about certain things. It’s definitely not a reflection on KJ as a writer, because you can tell at a glance her works are well-loved by many, and that makes me super happy. I love it so much when there’s a writer who’s able to create worlds and characters for readers in a way that they genuinely love and connect with and want to spread their joy to others. It’s such a beautiful thing :)

Thank you for the recommendation! Sorry I’m so picky I couldn’t take it to heart as much as you would have hoped, but I super appreciate the recommendation, and I hope others are less picky than me and are able to enjoy the series fully because it’s certainly an interesting premise :)

#sianascera #ask ais

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antiphon · 6 years ago

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mantis-blades replied to your post: the preview for the next episode has me tired...

I can’t stand Blum and I can’t stand the both sides are wrong false equivalencey nonsense they have been trying to shove down our throats this whole season.

First of all: I can’t stand Blum either. I share Marissa’s reaction to him: he’s boring. He’s a human embodiment of the Themes of the Show, but he’s toothless (unless you’re Maia, but honestly, Maia behaved very irresponsibly several times over and earned her firing).

Part two got really effing long, so it’s under a cut

That said: I don’t think, truly, that they’re trying to say both sides are the same. (For instance, this week I think the show was pretty clearly of the stance that Nazis are bad and Jay punching a Nazi is good and okay - and I guess the moderate conservatives in this instance chose not to align themselves with the Nazis. In the real world, there are plenty of people like “Nazis are awful, but PUNCHING THEM?!?!” The show didn’t have a crisis about the okay-ness of this; it had a monologue confirming the okay-ness of this.) They’ve been asking questions more like, how do you fight harmful lies when no one seems to care about the truth? and more broadly, how far can you go toward monstrous but effective tactics without becoming monstrous? The show has positioned “ethical” and “effective” as, if not dichotomous, at least in tension (effectiveness being the thing that might call you to behave unethically).

The show has a sense of the things that are clearly okay (punch a Nazi, register anti-45 voters, work against CPD on police brutality cases) and things that are clearly not okay (out and cruelly harass a trans girl; not get Kurt medical attention because it would interfere with hunting), but there are places it’s less clear. The hiring question was one - Liz’s “it’s about who we are.” Is it ok, in-universe, to (bad) hire people we disapprove of but that it’s politically advantageous to have around or take ethically murky cases if (good) that makes it possible, politically or financially, to do work that’s important? (This gets consistently negotiated, of course; Liz and Adrian took different sides when it was about hiring. In this case, for what it’s worth, I read the show as being more on Liz’s, or the more lefty, side - but the fact that they’re actively discussing their identity as a firm in these terms indicates that it’s a priority.) Is it ok, in-universe, to (bad) out and cruelly harass a trans girl if (good) it leads to the registration of tens of thousands of anti-45 voters?

The problem is that often as not, TGF is a blunt instrument. So last week we get Diane’s white lady resistance doing objectively horrible things because they like the end result, and both Diane and Liz end up going along with them because they were effective (as opposed to the *~resistance~* meeting Diane attended at the beginning of the episode, where no one could even agree on what the message was)--I wasn’t convinced as an audience member that their action was either effective enough or the only option, so there wasn’t strong tension; it was just a clearly wrong thing to do without a compelling argument for the people who did it. I think we’re supposed to see this as them compromising their values substantially but doing it anyway; I don’t think we’re supposed to see them as Just As Bad. And in general, I just don’t see the kind of both-sides-ism from the show that you’re talking about. When the show works, I see the protagonists - especially Diane previously and especially Liz now, and shoutout to Barbara Kolstad here for making real moves that way, even if it was to get written off the show, because she’s my wife and I respect her - genuinely struggling with this. (Liz taking on the responsibility for her dad’s rape and sexual assault but still getting NDAs instead of just like burning the whole thing down is an example here. She’s treating people with dignity and facing up to it - she’s not Just As Bad As Him in any way - but she’s still protecting the firm.) But it’s...also been known to fail at nuance.

Blum, for instance, has no nuance. He’s an answer to this question in human form - he’s all the way down the line where effectiveness matters entirely and ethics not at all. That’s why he’s boring: he’s the blunt-force trauma version of the Themes of the Show. TGF is trying to acknowledge the ridiculousness inherent in a world that values and responds to Blums and the absurdity of trying to exist in opposition to that within it - and sometimes it succeeds! Pitting Elsbeth Tascioni against Mike Kresteva made for great TV; Liz arguing to Margo Martindale (I forget her character’s name) (Ruth? Eastman?) that the truth doesn’t matter and getting hired for her *~anger~* was a hell of a ride. But the show has felt like a drag for me lately; part of that is that it’s been pretty humorless, but I think part of it is also that there’s been no one really fighting for the other side. Liz makes some stabs at it; Lucca and Jay have done a little, but they don’t have as much power as most of our characters.

But also - I don’t know whether you watched The Good Wife? I’m going to talk about The Good Wife, and the reason is that Alicia’s character arc was also very grounded in this ethics-effectiveness dichotomy. Over the course of the series, a lot of her development was on a path from wanting to do good to being willing to do what she had to, and what she had to would get pushed just a little farther and a little farther. (Alicia wasn’t in the law to help people; she was in the law because it made sense, and she liked being good at it.) But there was also a thing with her where at the same time that people (characters, in-universe people) were pushing her to be colder and more focused on succeeding at whatever cost in her professional life, they hated her for changing in the same way as a person - they only wanted her to be cruel during the nine to five, but how she worked was part of who she was. In I think season six, she sort of tries to facilitate a similar transformation in another high-minded character, but he backs out in the end. something she either hadn’t been able to do or hadn’t chosen to do (spoiler: both). It literally offers us an alternative to Alicia’s decisions and a person, when she’s far along in her like moral decay practically, who makes a different call. In Alicia, we get a protagonist who often makes harmful choices and certainly isn’t a good person, overall, being understandable and maybe even justified in a particular choice while still clearly seeing that she becomes worse - the show doesn’t approve of all her choices and align with her morally just because she’s the protagonist.

I bring this up because TGW was concerned with these things for seven seasons. This question of how much bad you can do (for the sake of good?) before you’re too bad, this question of how much ethically to compromise in order to accomplish what you (think you) need to, they’re baked into the universe of the show and clearly interests for its creators. So when I say I don’t think they’re being super both-sides-y, part of that is because TGW gave us seven seasons of a tension much like the one that TGF is trying to hold without writing off the distinction to make it easier. TGF situates this more in how you behave politically in the world than TGW generally did (except occasionally through Diane), but I think it has a fairly clear sense in that political existence of what goodness means. You might not always be able to accomplish it, and actions rather than people are good or bad (or at least, people are bad as a function of doing bad things), but I don’t think just because the “good” side sometimes does bad things, the show is necessarily heavy on both-sides-ism. It’s less two separate cups and more the string between two cups, with people and stances at different places on that axis.

I also think the show is trying more and more to uncouple the concepts of order and goodness, which have previously been uneasy allies in-universe. (Think of everyone’s horror when Liz suggested the DNC’s arguments needn’t be based in truth; think of how cruel Maia’s retaliatory fake news was. Worse - think how Diane was really presented as having the high ground when she told the Assholes to Avoid lady to do it right next time! Publishing unsubstantiated allegations that were clearly labeled as such was ‘doing it wrong’ at that point.) So some of the things that have previously been presented as bad AND associated with the right are now being presented more neutrally when associated with the left. I don’t think that’s a criticism of the left; I don’t think, for instance, that the first creation of retaliatory fake news by the white lady resistance (the one that closed the other fake news factory - I’m NOT talking about the stuff with the sister) was something we were supposed to see as bad or as an ethical compromise. The normal has changed, in-universe. Certain tactics that aren't necessarily harmful have been decoupled from ethical stigma that they received because they weren’t associated with order and honesty - the world has changed, and our characters are changing along with it. It’s totally possible that I’m misreading this situation, but I do think it means we’re seeing people in positions we would previously have considered compromised without seeing them as compromised. I don’t think the show has done a terrible job with this, though.

I also think the show is weaker when it takes this on outside of the workplace - it’s clearly decided it wants to situate some of its dilemmas in Diane’s personal life and not her professional life, but it benefits from having to work this out within existing, robust character relationships, not just a single person’s struggles or via some characters who are about as central to our understanding of the show as the NSA guys. So a lot of the white lady resistance stuff feels pretty thin to me, and that could be causing me to give it, and in particular its bad behavior (mostly just the thing with the sister, right? but that was really so bad), less weight than the show wants me to. Maybe it’s trying to be more both-sides-y than I’m reading it because I find the workplace stuff more real and impactful. But I feel like a lot of that has been really neglected - was the stuff about whether to hire conservatives for the sake of expediency just kind of closed when they made Lucca the head of family law, for instance? It’s been really focused on being murky but not on, like, situating that in its world and its story lmao.

#mantis-blades #the good fight #the good wife #alicia florrick #roland blum #nazi cw #transmisia cw #rape cw #meta?? in this economy??#sorry for the fucking essay #I'm sure I've explained some very obvious things in here #trying to be coherent lol #long post #good lord it's so far past my bedtime #me? writing fucking essays about tgf at the same time that I'm complaining about how hard it is to care about? it's more likely than you thi #combine this with the very long messages I just wrote actually defending the chracterization of Maia Rindell #and we might be forced to conclude that tragically I care about this show

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violetfaust · 8 years ago

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Season 6B as it should have been: with Belle.

I’m sorry, I just CANNOT stop with this. It would have been so easy to give Belle the presence she deserved--which the story NEEDED--in this arc. Without interfering with the other characters’ arcs or adding a ton of screentime.

So I’mma do it. I’m a little handicapped because I only watched half the episodes (which is three times as many as for 6A and more than in S5 entirely), so cut me some slack where needed.

Under a cut because it got long as fuck.

6.11: Keep the cut scene in which David and Killy betray Belle by siccing Zelena on Gideon, and Belle does something to save him. This is the scene referenced in Rumbelle’s well conversation when she talks about fighting for Gideon and trusting the wrong people. I’d also make this the scene where Zelena loses her magic--Gideon takes it to defeat her. I’m not sure what could have been cut to fit this in; the Boozer Hook scene in the Wish!Verse stands out as filler, but it was pretty funny. Probably some of the August stuff could be condensed. The cut scene was so important since it showed (or would have) that Belle would compromise her principles for her son, and would set up the Charmings vs. the Stiltskins (and align Rumbelle, and show Belle how much Killy is NOT her friend) right off the bat.

6.12: This was the David/Killy ep? I’m fine leaving Belle and Rumbelle out of it.

6.13: I’m honestly okay with an ep that focused on Rumple’s relationship with Gideon...considering that he had none in 6A, it needed building. But Belle shouldn’t have been left wandering in the woods for all of it. They could have fit in 20 seconds of a scene between her and Blue where Blue apologizes for losing Gideon and Belle forgives her and expresses her guilt, saying Gideon’s fate is all her fault. And then after Rumbelle meet in the woods, Belle could say she was going to the library to research, or whatever--something that made it clear she was being active in the quest to help Gideon.

6.14: I didn’t even remember what happened in this--it was the Split Queen resolution. So I looked it up, and it was pretty packed--Rumbelle can stay out of it. My change would be to make the Queen and Robin together kidnap Zelena to hold for ransom (instead of the Queen kidnapping Robin). That allows for Zelena to have a scene where she expresses regret for what she did to our Robin, and the sisters become closer when Regina rescues powerless Zee. (And Zee does something useful, whatevs, I don’t care.)

6.15: Killy ep. A big part of my rewrite is cutting Killy’s excellent adventure completely. In 6.14 he chickens out (no help from Gideon) and leaves with Nemo; in 6.15 he has his centric that goes pretty much the same, and he decides to go back and ~~fight for his wuv~~. Jaladdin wish him back to SB with a parting gift of whatever doohickey he eventually was handed by Tiger Lily. Emma doesn’t fall into his arms and tell him it’s her fault he lied, either. Something something (who cares), they’re not re-engaged; they’re going to work on it. (I don’t care how they get together--barf--but I’m not cleaning up the whole season by getting rid of CY altogether. That’s a bigger project.) Belle and Rumple have a tiny scene when they are also seen at the bar for two-for-one night. (It’s NOT a date, they both agree; but they’re exhausted and need to eat; that’s it; 20 seconds in which Bobby and Em have more sexual tension and longing than CY do in a year). Belle is a witness to Gideon stealing Emma’s tear for some stupid reason (was that ever explained?) and is horrified. Belle/Gideon 10-second exchange of angsty eyes. (I will NEVER EVER EVER get over Belle not having a single one-on-one scene with her baby boy when he’s all grown up and destroying people.)

6.16: Gideon ep. Since we’ve gotten rid of Killy/Blackbeard we have about six minutes to play with to split between Belle’s and Zelena’s plots. (So Zee helps Regina with Henry’s author problem. Mills family bonding. Zee can express remorse for killing Henry’s father.) Belle doesn’t just hang out in the shop while Rumple goes to the mansion looking for Gideon; she’s with him every step of the way and sees that Gideon is a betraying betrayer and Rumple is a Big Damn Hero who saves Emma. At the end when Emma tells Belle her kid is dead meat, Belle has seen exactly how bad Gid can be but she defends him all the same. Room for a longer Rumbelle bonding scene.

6.17: Again, no Killy gives us time for Belle and/or Zelena. Since Moe was around filming for (cut, of course) flashbacks for this ep, we finally get the (present-day) scene where Belle confronts him for abandoning her in the sleeping curse, and Rumbelle/Rumple fans get Belle’s realization that Rumple was the only person to fight for her and the baby when she was under the curse. Belle tells Moe that Rumple is a much better father than he will ever be (stand up and cheer moment). Killy does something useful to support Emma (who cares) so their engagement’s back on; Regina still saves Snowing by having the town take the curse; Belle and Moe are among the townspeople who drink the potion along with Archie, dwarves, Zee, and randos. Big but quiet beat between Belle and Regina because Belle is helping the people who are still determined to kill her child if necessary. At the end, Belle is with Rumple when he tells Fifi that he knows she has Gid’s heart; Rumbelle stand united against her, but Fi dismisses Belle and tells Rumple THEY will be a family. Belle is troubled; her face asks, Can she trust Rumple? Will he choose her or Fifi?

6.18: This is the big one. Sorry, Zelena. It’s a Belle centric in which she finds a way to get to the Dark Realm, and she and Rumple go to try to rescue baby Gideon, or get some deus ex mechanism that would allow them to save him (maybe his heart’s back in this realm? I dunno; I can’t plot worth crap but no one is paying me $$$$ to do it either). Flashbacks: Baby Belle and her mommy, and why Belle can speak/read fairy. (Maybe the BlF made a play for Belle when she was a child.) We also find out the plot of Her Handsome Hero: the knight Gideon faces an evil sorcerer; to defeat him he has to go on a quest for a lot of doodads; he’s aided by a woman who turns out to be the evil sorcereress; Gideon and the sorceress respect and forgive each other for the past; he saves her from vengeful and misguided villagers (a mob with a Gastonish lead) by talking them around, and thus becomes her handsome hero. (This is my version of reconciling what Belle said about the book in H3 with the bit she read to Jack and Jill’s kid in 6.9.) Present: Rumbelle work together all the way, but whatever they try to do fails (of course) and Belle basically loses it and has an “I failed” breakdown, blaming herself for everything. This is the big apology scene that some people want, but it’s more about Belle’s long-term inferiority complex finally coming to the fore. Rumple supports her completely, takes the blame for what he did, and tells her that she’s his hero (echo of the Miller’s Daughter phone call). At the very end, Rumbelle realize that some random thing they discovered in the Dark Realm can protect Gideon from being controlled, but only in his dreams. (This fixes the plot point of whether the BlF can control Gid in dreams, and if she can’t, why he was being such a dick in the first place, trying to break up Rumbelle and engineer his own kidnapping.) Belle thanks Rumple for not giving up, and he says, “When you find something worth fighting for, you never give up.” (Cue sobs from Belle and us.)

6.19: Plays out almost exactly as it did. Belle giving Rumple her trust has much more weight now, though, because we’ve seen him earn it back onscreen. (And maybe they both decide to “kidnap” Emma to the dream world because they can’t trust her.) The main difference is that Belle is the one who saves Regina from the BlF by running out into the street (the fight takes place ten seconds from the pawnshop) and braining Fifi over the back of her head with Her Handsome Hero. (Stand up and cheer moment.)

6.20: Snow mentions at the bachelorette party that Belle sent the dresses but couldn’t come because she’s spending time with Gideon. Two seconds of communion between Snow and Emma how weird and hard and yet somehow cool it is to have a child your own age, and how they hope that Belle and Gid can become as close as Emma and Snow are. (Or a little more bittersweet, acknowledgment that maybe Emma and Snow have not always been as close as they want to be. Big hug. Uses Belle and Gid as a springboard for a Snow/Emma beat.) Cut the Rumple/Killy scene, which only served to make Killy into a vengeful asshole on his wedding day and make his vows to Emma look like lies. Replace with Belle and Gideon on the Jolly Roger, packing up Belle’s stuff because they are both moving into the Pink Palace. We can leave the mystery in this scene about whether Rumple has filled them in on his plan, or whether he’s actually working with the BlF and is a betraying betrayer who is keeping them in the dark. Belle shows Gideon some of the stuff she bought for his baby self (the teddy bear, some little onesies), and plays him the tape Rumple made of the poem. They are so happy to be together now, but aching because of what they’ve lost and what Gid’s childhood turned out to be. Very very bittersweet; ends with Belle singing a few lines of a lullabye (her contribution to the musical; maybe she starts singing along with Rumple’s voice on the tape). Cut to Gideon’s tears and mine.

6.21/22: Since Belle has had so much more presence through the REST of the season, it’s actually okay with me if she’s offstage for most of 6.21 (as she was).to keep the mystery of whether Rumple has his memories. But it feels as if their scene in the murder house was definitely cut short; so weird for Rumple to just nope out with a “Okay, sorry to bother you, just keep cowering back there, never mind me.” So continue it for a minute or so, with Rumple gently coaxing cursed Belle out, giving her the courage to come meet her son. He takes her to the pawnshop with him, to Fifi’s horror. Angsty moment and tears between cursed Belle and cursed Gid. (Possibly she kisses him and breaks his personal curse, the way he did for her in 6.1?) Fifi then shows the whole family that Gid is under her control, with agony for all that he is being forced to blacken his soul despite everything they’ve all done to save him; maybe Gideon actually says something like he wishes he’d never been born. (Or something else so we know grown Gid is okay with being rebabyfied.) Fifi poofs him off to kill Emma, and makes her offer to Rumple that he can have this family and also Baelfire. Belle witnesses Rumple choosing reality and killing his mum. Then everything proceeds as in the real ep. Rumbelle go to the mines to find Gid’s heart. I’m a little torn here because I love the fact that Rumple (like Regina and UNLIKE a certain other someone) always resists temptation and does the right, heroic thing WITHOUT someone pointing him in the right direction and waving pompoms to cheer him on. So keeping his scene between him and his DO imp private would be good. I guess Belle doesn’t sprain her ankle, but they split up because the mines are labyrinthine and they’re trying to cover more ground. Rumple does the right thing, but it fails. He goes back to meet Belle, they comfort each other in their darkest moment, and then baby Gideon appears--only this time there’s some callback to SOMETHING they did in the Dark Realm rather than it just happening out of the clear blue sky. And we’re back to the episode as written.

(via @belle-gifs)

See? WAS THAT SO HARD? With the exception of adding Belle’s centric, most of these changes would give her only about a minute or two more per ep--but they are significant minutes.

#belle french #rumbelle #anti-kitsowitz #WAS THAT SO HARD?#op

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rhegar · 8 years ago

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You guys know I love Rhaegar (and as the great Gordon Ramsay once said, sue me) but I also acknowledge fully how much he fucked up. Very recently, in fact only after a conversation I had with @scullylikesscience about him, I conjured up an almost-perfect plan with which he could have conceived The Prince that Was Promised with Lyanna, without 95% of the shitty repercussions that ensued after what he actually did + she wouldn’t be underage, and it would be completely consensual without a shadow of doubt. Of course it’s not fully moral but then again neither was what he did... this one costs less lives anyways. (Tw:Rape, dubious consent, cheating)

(Disclaimer: please note that this entire post is written with the assumption that Rhaegar felt that conceiving such a child is an absolute necessity. If you want to argue that Rhaegar was stupid to believe so and why prophecy is bullshit, this post isn’t for you. This post was written with the intention to conjure up a better way to fulfill the prophecy, no more, no less. I’m not going to enter any arguments about why Rhaegar wanted to fulfill said prophecy to begin with. I’m not saying that it’s okay how much Rhaegar was dead-set on conceiving a child who would allegedly save the world, I’m saying that he could have come up with a better plan to do so. I also, as previously stated, don’t think this plan is 100% moral, and I do think some of the things Rhaegar has to do to fulfill it are shitty, but it’s still more moral and has way less collateral than what he did in canon)

1. Lyanna is set to marry Robert Baratheon. Good. Let it happen.

2. Wait until the marriage is done, consummated and all. Lyanna would probably be about 17/18 by now. Maybe even older (depends on when they planned to get married)

3. You’re the crown prince of Westeros and you have a shitton of strings between your fingers. Wait a year or so post-marriage, Pull a couple. Stage a perfect accident where Robert passes away very tragically while hunting (if Cersei did it, so can you)

4. Now Stannis becomes Lord of the Stormlands if Lyanna doesn’t give birth to a boy. If she does, all the better. That ensures that she stays in the Stormlands where she’s pretty close to Dragonstone. That makes meeting up easier.

6. If Lyanna was still carrying Robert’s baby, wait until she gives birth to it. Pregnant or not, wait until Lyanna is at least a couple years older than she was when she married Robert. She’s figured out her plans for life. Now start writing her letters. Try to get her sexually attracted to you, but keep her informed. Tell her about your motives and your desire to have a third child while Elia can’t (but don’t be a douche about Elia in the letters. Not only is that wrong, it’s likely to turn Lyanna all the way off) and assure her that if she does consent to having a child with you, you guarantee her protection and the protection of said child.

7. Lyanna is now likely around 19/20. Understand, she’s likely to be just trying to get over the death of her husband, or even have a purely sexual attraction. That’s good. There’s a small chance that she actually likes you; she hasn’t met you very many times. Try to eliminate that chance, otherwise she’s going to be heartbroken eventually. Whatever the case, she’s now older and more capable of understanding her feelings and making decisions. Arrange a super-secret romantic getaway. Do the deed.

8. Lyanna gets pregnant if she chooses to. Wherever she is, she is going to be dishonored but not physically harmed. She’s still the daughter of a lord and the widow of a lord (and maybe even the mother of one), she has good healthcare to carry the pregnancy and birth to terms, there are maesters waiting on her, she’s a lot less likely to die of complications than she was in a remote tower in the middle of the desert without healthcare to speak of, not to mention she’s now older and stronger. Now she is there to raise your baby, and also most likely to keep the identity of the father a secret to protect him/her from the wrath of the other Targaryens. Even if genetics give them some uncanny Targaryen features, she will try her best to hide them like JonCon did with Young Griff. Stay on good terms with Lyanna because 1. She’s the mother of your baby 2. Whether we like it or not, she still is a woman who went against a very sexist society and could use some compassion and the protection of someone powerful 3. She’s a human being who deserves respect. Don’t be a jerk. 4. If she has real feelings for you, be gracious.

9. Congratulations! Now you have the child who is the son/daughter of Ice and Fire. And the bonus is, very few people died in the process (only Robert but he was an asshole anyways)

Let’s start with the cons of this plan, and the arguments that make those cons more tolerable than what happened in canon.

1. Lyanna is still used for her body and taken advantage of. I totally understand that. However, if it seems inevitable for her to be used for her womb by Rhaegar, at least her consent is now informed (except for Rhaegar killing her husband... no one should know about that shit for obvious reasons) and she is of age. Not to mention the circumstances are now not rape-y (she isn’t in a remote place surrounded by Rhaegar’s sword-wielding bffs and imprisoned... she’s now free to go, informed, and, like I previously mentioned, of age) She’s more capable both physically and mentally. She’s likely to live safely and happily with her child.

2. Elia still gets cheated on. Again, if it was inevitable that Rhaegar *must* have a child with Lyanna, at least in this case, Elia was not publicly humiliated as the affair would remain a secret, and her safety and the safety of her children would not be compromised whatsoever.

3. Robert gets killed. Well this is the ASOIAF universe still, and just because this is a plan with way less collateral doesn’t mean it’s going to be collateral-free.

4. I don’t believe Lyanna would seek a crown for her child, but if this child turns out to be a boy and she chooses to tell this child eventually who his father is, they might seek it for themselves, causing a civil war. This is controllable by ensuring that Lyanna feels that her child is safe and happy enough without knowing that his father is a king. She’s not going to feel the need to tell him if he is happy enough as is, and telling him may bring a lot of risk. If the child is a girl, telling her would be useless because not many would support her claim to the throne.

5. Aerys lives. Fuck Aerys. Something must be done about him and his burning fetish, but this post is not about that.

Pros:

1. Lyanna lives. Elia lives. Aegon and Rhaenys live. Westeros gets a king who has legitimate children with his queen wife and way less risk of civil war. Generally a wiser and better king than Robert. Daenerys and Viserys also live a safe and happy life.

2. Brandon and Rickard live.`Arthur and the rest of the Kingsguard live. A shitton of men who died in Robert’s Rebellion live. The realm is relatively stable and strong with a powerful Targaryen dynasty, and prepared for the upcoming winter and ice-zombie apocalypse.

Let me now rant for the record that I think if I, a 22-year-old blogger from the 21st century with an average IQ can come up with this plan, Rhaegar definitely should have been able to, but for some reason or the other, he fucked up royally (no pun intended)

Now this opens some other discussions: would the dragons, a likely turning factor in the War for the Dawn 2.0, still exist in this scenario? Would Lyanna’s child still go to the wall if it’s a boy? Would the child not being at the wall affect their impact in the WftD 2.0 as the supposed PTWP? Only god knows.

There’s also the argument that this plan isn’t fail-proof, as it relies completely on Lyanna’s consent and if she doesn’t consent, it was all for nothing. Well I’d rather the child’s conception is dubious but surely to come through full consent, than it being insured but coming through dubious consent (AKA, possible rape)

#asoiaf #asoiaf meta #pre-asoiaf #rhaegar targaryen

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corvid-knight · 6 years ago

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Demon Eyes - chapter 10

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13740258/chapters/31990530

Karkat's right; it only takes about forty-five minutes for the pleasantly weird dizzy feeling to mostly wear off. Mostly. There's still a comfortable bit of euphoria left over. It makes everything just a touch more pleasant, for no reason at all.

Dirk offers Karkat a room, and the demon just shrugs and grumbles something about how he wants to keep an eye on you. And yeah, maybe that gets a raised eyebrow from your cousin, but he doesn't say anything about it. Which is good, because even with the leftover magic high you probably would have gotten immediately, intensely uncomfortable with any questions Dirk could've asked.

So the room that Karkat carried you to so you could come down, that's your room. (And his.) For as long as you stay, anyway. Which could be a while—you did promise Rose you'd stick around until she came down to see you, after all. Anyway, you'll be here long enough to justify bringing your shit in from the truck.

Karkat's been shanghaied by John again; Hal makes at least an attempt to help carry stuff in, but after a couple trips back and forth, he notices Bro's laptop, its bag tucked under the seat, and pulls it out with a quick glance at you. "How open would you be to my going through this? I'd like to see if that asshole had any info he wasn't sharing with the rest of us."

"It's probably gonna be encrypted, but knock yourself out." The phone's on the console between the front seats; you snag it and toss it to him. "Might be shit on that too—just, like, be careful going through the pics if you decide to do that."

Hal grimaces as he catches the phone, sliding it into one of the outer pockets of the laptop bag. "Unless he collected glyphs of unmaking—"

"Not sure what that is, but I don't think so."

"Right. Good. I'll be fine, then; fucked-up shit doesn't bother me quite as much as it does Dirk or the others." He pauses halfway through the movement of digging out one of your bags, a thoughtful look spreading across his face. "...which might possibly say something about my morals, I suppose. Or lack thereof."

"How come?" You yank the bag all the way out—Hal seems more hesitant to treat your belongings roughly than you are—and try to remember what's in it. Bro's clothes, you think. Karkat can take anything he wants, and you're making a goddamn bonfire out of the rest.

"The obvious assumption for a normal human is that a person who isn't immediately and viscerally disgusted by graphic images is one who's comfortable with them." Hal shrugs, taking the bag out of your hands and slinging it over his shoulder. "Maybe even desensitized to them, possibly approving of them."

"Are you?" You don't really expect an affirmative answer, but you're curious as to how exactly he will react. You're probably risking pissing him off...but that didn't occur to you until after you asked.

Hal just shakes his head. "I do have morals. I can recognize atrocities as such—not sure if that's the right word for what's on the phone—"

"It's. Uh. It's a pretty good word for some of them."

"Ah." There's a hesitation, maybe just to acknowledge what you just said and maybe to give him time to consider what you might mean. You're not going to enlighten him. "...that's not the sort of thing that upsets me, but I'm as capable of knowing what's morally wrong as anyone is."

"Well, other than Bro. Obviously." Damn, I seriously didn't need to say that.

"Obviously," Hal agrees, and glances at you as you stop to get the door to your room open. "Would you mind if I saved any images that'd incriminate him as..."

This time, the hesitation is definitely him hunting for a word that's descriptive but also inoffensive enough not to hurt you. He really shouldn't be worried about that second one.

"As a sick fucking bastard?" you supply, and Hal smiles a bit.

"Exactly that. Just in case."

You almost ask in case of what? but you guess you do know, actually. Just in case anyone tries to say that his death wasn't justified. Just in case you and Karkat need protection later.

"Take whatever you want off of there, dude." As you take the bag back from him, you think of an exception to that offer. "...uh. Just, like. Do me a favor, alright? Delete anything of me that you find."

He gives you a sharp, very-like-Dirk look that you pretend not to notice at all. "So I'm going to find compromising photos of you?"

"Maybe. Dunno." Bro didn't usually keep the kind of pics you're thinking of longer than overnight—at least you don't think he did. It's entirely possible he's got a whole file of them, buried deep enough that you never found it in your quick forays through his electronics. More than possible; probable.

You don't want anybody seeing the pics he took of you like that. Bad enough it happened at all—it'd be fucking horrible, humiliating almost beyond anything Bro did to you, to have anybody else know.

Hal's just watching you, head tilted. You realize that you let this pause go on longer than is comfortable. Fuck.

"Look, if you do find any? Delete 'em. I sure as hell don't want 'em."

"Of course." He nods, stepping out of the room. "And I'll show you anything I want to save before I save it, just to be sure."

"Yeah." God, you don't know how to thank him for that. "That's, uh. That's good, that's great." Dammit. You're not good at this kind of shit.

Hal doesn't seem to mind, at least. "Give me a couple hours and I'll have these back to you," he says, and then he shuts the door and you're left to finish unpacking by yourself.

Which is also, actually, good.

It's more like four hours before Hal reappears. You spend the time sorting out shit you want from shit you don't, making Karkat go through the latter category to see if there's anything he wants (other than a couple shirts, there isn't) and obtaining permission from Dirk to torch it in the backyard.

Piled into the firepit and soaked with a cupful of diesel siphoned from the truck, it all burns pretty damn nicely. Maybe petty destruction shouldn't make you feel this much better, but fuck it. You think you've earned the right to be petty against the fucker this stuff belonged to.

Rose calls Dirk before you're all the way done watching the fire. She wants to talk to you, once she knows you're there, and he ends up bringing the phone out and leaving you with it, and you talk to her for a good hour, sitting in the grass and watching clothes get converted to ashes as you do.

She tells you that she's engaged, to a vampire. Kanaya, she says, and you have to grin at the way she says it. Rose is most definitely in love, and you're more than happy for her.

She tells you that she and Kanaya are flying down in a week or so, and they're stopping to pick up Jade and bringing her down too. Then she has to ask you if you're okay, because you managed to choke on absolutely nothing at the mention of Jade and cough into the phone for a solid minute.

You're fine. Just. Surprised. With a couple questions.

Yes, Jade is fine. Apparently she's a shifter now (which gives you a definite what the fuck moment), bitten by a werewolf a couple years ago. Rose spends maybe five minutes rambling about the fascinating interaction of the bite's curse and Jade's latent magic (you didn't actually know she had magic at all), which combined to make her something distinctly different from a were. Yes, she remembers you; she's excited to see you. Yes, she knows you're traveling with a demon, and she's more than okay with that.

The fact that everyone's okay with you being this close to a demon is taking more than a little getting used to.

By the time Rose has to hang up, the sun's half-set. Dirk and John are working on what you assume is dinner, and Jake's using the floor of the living room to do a tarot reading for Karkat. You try to avoid stepping on any of the cards as you sit down on the floor next to the demon. "He tell you anything you don't already know, 'kat?"

"A couple things." He shrugs and scoots a few inches closer to you, enough to just barely touch. "I think Jake's being flattering. There's no way those fucking cards are calling me heroic as often as he's claiming they do."

"Oh, be quiet." Jake huffs and looks up from his work, pushing his glasses back up. "My interpretation is the most accurate you're going to get, Mr. Vantas."

Karkat groans at that name, rolling his eyes. "Please fucking forget I ever told you my last name."

"No can do; I need that for accurate divination." Jake smiles brightly, reaching down to gather his cards up into one pile. "Dave, I'd like to do a drawing for you tomorrow."

"Uh." He'll know shit about you, maybe more than you strictly want him to. But Jake's not going to use whatever he learns against you. "You can do me now, if you want."

"I'm afraid I might've already done a few too many rounds today, actually." He shrugs, giving you a quick, apologetic smile. "My own stupid curiosity, making me keep fooling around when I have a headache. I'll be fine so long as I stop trying to do readings for a bit." He finishes straightening up his cards and gets to his feet, almost bumping into Hal on his way out of the room.

Karkat raises his eyebrows as Hal comes straight over to sit where Jake was a minute ago, watching as the shikigami opens the laptop he's holding and starts typing. "You look pissed over something."

"Accurate." Hal nods, eyes fixed on the screen. He doesn't look upset to you. Well, not unless you really focus on the set of his shoulders and the stiffness of his calm expression. "Dave, question."

"What?"

"Do you still want to see the images I wanted to save, or no? I...didn't quite realize how bad some of these are. I know you might not want to look..."

Karkat growls softly as Hal trails off. Dave, don't you dare.

I can take it, you think at him, and nod at Hal. "Yeah, it's fine. Lemme see."

He spins the laptop to face you, and you immediately regret that decision. There's just thumbnails up, but you can still see the pics well enough for your brain to supply the details. You got to see most of these in all their original bloody horror, after all.

Fuck. Fucking bastard.

"Fuck this," Karkat growls, reaching forward to shut the laptop; you catch his hand right before he can touch it.

"Hold up. Hal, this one—"

He leans over to see which one you're pointing at. It's not a really bad one; just an image of a tattoo with blood mostly obscuring the pattern and a series of teeth marks dug into it. Human teeth marks; you know that even if it's hard to tell from the picture. "The one with the fucked-up protection rune?"

"Yeah. Delete it." Just looking at the image provokes a faint phantom pain at the base of your neck, and you have to restrain yourself from rubbing uncomfortably at the scarred tattoo there. "And any other pics you saved of it, I guess. Copy whatever else you want and delete the originals, okay?"

"Of course." He nods, spinning the computer around again. "Twenty minutes tops."

"Yeah. Thanks." Without thinking, you lean against Karkat.

The fact that his immediate reaction is to wrap an arm around your shoulders is so comforting.

You wake up at somewhere around two in the morning, briefly confused by the fact you're curled up on top of someone before you remember that it's Karkat. The grin that that realization provokes brings on the second realization that you really need a drink of water.

Getting off of Karkat and out of the room without waking him up isn't all that hard. Finding a fucking glass in the kitchen is more difficult, actually; every cabinet door creaks, and every time you make any kind of a noise you can't help but freeze, even though odds are nobody can hear anyway.

Call it force of habit.

Eventually, though, you find a cup and get your drink, rinse the glass off and leave it in the rack to dry. When you turn around, Jake's standing in the doorway, watching you.

Which nearly gives you a heart attack. How the hell did you not hear him?

"Uh..."

"Hello, Knight of Blades and Fortune." The words come out of his mouth at what seems like half-speed, and he cocks his head to one side, eyes half-closed as he smiles at you. "You've come a long way."

"Jake, what're you—"

You stop when he shakes his head slowly. "The Page of Wands sleeps."

"...okay, then." You're not entirely sure what's going on, but Page of Wands would be as good a card for Jake as any. He is a bearer of important news, after all. "You oughta go back to bed if you're asleep, man."

That earns you a slow smile from him. "The Page is asleep."

"And you're not?"

"Perish the thought." Okay, that comes out closer to how Jake normally sounds. "Tomorrow."

"What about tomorrow?"

"A task for the others. It wasn't meant for you, but without you—" He raises his hands, cups them in front of him and then jerks them apart, bowing his head. The gesture's oddly terrifying, and even though it should be meaningless you know it does have a meaning. Destruction.

Well, fuck. Not like you can let that kind of thing happen. "So I gotta go along on whatever job y'all end up getting, huh?"

Another shrug as he raises his head. His eyes are closed now. "Free will is yours to invoke, Knight."

"Yeah, yeah. C'mon, let's get you back to your boyfriend, alright? Let him figure out your prophecy shit."

Jake doesn't react to that, but he lets you lead him to Dirk's room, and Dirk doesn't seem all that surprised at being woken up. He just nods when you tell him what Jake said, mumbling a sleepy thank you before pulling him into the room.

You can hear Jake start to talk again as Dirk shuts the door, and you can't help but wonder whether it's more predictions or just sleeptalk. Either way, Dirk might be up for a while.

Karkat growls at you when you crawl back into bed, opening his eyes for a second before pulling you back on top of him. "You were scared for a minute there?"

"Jake came up behind me, is all." You could tell him that something might happen tomorrow. Then again, you could not do that, and just go back to sleep. You decide on the second. "It's all good."

He just grumbles something unintelligible and drapes an arm around you. With him this comfortingly close, it only takes you a little while to fall asleep.

#demon eyes

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