#compass; he/him in the least boy way possible. not in the girl way either. is a girl though.

[seafoam-taide]

they have friends now :))

[venerawrites]

thank you for feeding my Naruto brainrot 😫🫶🏻 for the prompt request: for your fav Naruto boys or girls, what are the non-negotiables (things they need to have) and the dealbreakers (will not tolerate) when they're in a relationship with their partner?

author's note: this has been sitting in my drafts for a while, so I'm really sorry for the delay. I really liked that prompt and I do hope I did it justice. I have so many favs it was hard to pick, but ultimately I decided to pick Naruto, Neji, Sasuke and Shikamaru.

Naruto

➦ Non-negotiables

Calm and rational mind - as someone who is a ball full of energy and very easily influenced by his emotions, Naruto needs a partner who is stable and able to keep calm and collected under pressure. He has enough fire and passion within him for both him and his partner, so he would need a polar opposite in order to keep him balanced. He also lacks the ability to look at situations realistically, so a more rational partner would definitely help him do that.

Affectionate - this doesn't mean he wants someone who is clinging to his arm 24/7, but rather someone who is not afraid to show affection to him either in public or private. A partner that laces their fingers with his when they notice his knee shaking nervously or embraces them in a hug after a long stressful day, is what Naruto needs after being alone for so many years.

➦ Dealbreakers

Lack of ambitions or drive - Naruto has always been full of dreams and hope. He constantly seeks to grow, not only in his power but also as a person. If he is with a partner who lacks any ambition in life, he is bound to feel stagnate at some point and that is probably his biggest nightmare. He needs someone to calm and balance his hyperactive personality, but he won't be with someone who makes his whole life dull.

No sense of humour - this may not be a dealbreaker for many people, but for Naruto it certainly is. He has always been a goofball and loves a good joke, so I can't even imagine him being with someone, who won't at least crack a smile at his attempts to cheer them up. He doesn't want to be with someone who is overly pessimistic and negative.

Neji

➦ Non-negotiables

A strong moral compass - probably the least tolerant and forgiving of all of the guys on the list, Neji needs a partner that has strong morals and values. There are certain things that are completely unjustifiable in his eyes, like betraying the people you love or killing innocent people. No matter their background or religious/political view, their partner needs to have strong principles that they follow, regardless of external pressure. For him, this is also fundamental for raising your children right.

Commitment - Neji's ideal partner would need to be someone who will commit fully to him and their family (once they have one). I always imagined him with a civilian or someone who is an ex-ninja, because he knows it is not possible to juggle both an active ninja lifestyle and taking care of the house. Even he, at some point, would start doing fewer and fewer missions, spending time and training his children instead. He would absolutely expect the same from their partner.

➦ Dealbreakers

Not wanting family/children - Neji is a very traditional guy and as such, he does want to one day have a family and be a father. He would respect his partner's decision if they decide this is not the life for them, but that would ultimately lead to the end of their relationship. This is one thing he would not change his mind about, so he has to be with someone who is on the same page.

Lack of respect - in a way connected to the dealbreaker above, he won't be with someone who doesn't respect him, his family, or his values. Due to the way he was raised, he would naturally assume the role of provider and protector - his partner better be the more submissive half, the one who nurtures, rather than fights. If they cannot respect that dynamic, they better find a more open-minded partner than Neji.

Sasuke

➦ Non-negotiables

Confidence and courage - having quite a lot of issues himself, he needs a partner who has the confidence and the courage to stand up to him. Sasuke has the tendency to do whatever he thinks is right, without really taking into consideration how that affects others. He really needs someone who will be honest about their feelings and opinions, without fearing that they will somehow offend him. He will probably huff and puff, but he secretly appreciates it when their partner has the guts to put their foot down.

Bluntness - maybe connected in a way to what I typed above, but Sasuke needs someone who speaks bluntly to him. He is also the type of person to share his thoughts openly, so he expects the same from his partner. Additionally, he is not good at getting hints, so it's better for his lover to just say straightforwardly what is bothering them, rather than tip-toe around it.

➦ Dealbreakers

Lying - Sasuke cannot tolerate liars. He has been lied to quite a lot during his life and he suffers from major trust issues. If he catches his partner even in a lie, even about something insignificant, that would be the end of the relationship. If they lie about small, they will inevitably lie about something bigger as well. Sasuke had enough with people like that.

Clinginess - that man had enough of people clinging to him. Sasuke values his personal space and alone time and he won't like a partner, that is constantly on his back and wants to spend all their time together. Like everyone, he would need some moments of loving and he would subtly hint at their partner when they need attention/love, but he would somehow have to initiate it first.

Shikamaru

➦ Non-negotiables

Empathy - an ideal partner would be able to see other people's sides, and consider their feelings and motives. Shikamaru prides himself on being open-minded and good at reading people, so he expects his partner to be the same. He forgot a date or something minor because of how stressed he is at work? He wants his partner to be able to put themselves in his shoes and maybe cut him a little bit of slack.

Likes challenges/puzzles - as someone who is so smart, Shikamaru needs intellectual challenges to keep boredom away and also stimulate his brain. His partner either has to be brave enough to challenge him on topics they do not agree on or actively seek and help him with puzzling tasks, that he can't deal alone with. Either way, their partner has to be able to think outside the box and be able to counter Shikamaru's arguments.

➦ Dealbreakers

Anger issues - now I know that may be controversial, since in the anime he is with Temari, who can be pretty fiery... but personally I feel he is not the one to really tolerate someone who gets worked up easily, shouts, and throws tantrums. Life is too short to deal with someone who can't control their temper and he constantly feels like he has to walk on eggshells around them.

Pretending to be dumb - Shikamaru is naturally attracted to intelligence. Does it feel nice to be outsmarted or corrected by their own partner sometimes? Well, no, not really. But he definitely prefers that, rather than having a partner that pretends to be dumb, just so they can appear cute or for other people to like them better.

cc artwork: Houston Sharp

[thedemiseofdj]

Random Ass Vampire Diaries Opinions/Ideas

Just because I can. I didn’t mean for this account to be so focused on vampires lmao. This is mainly about characters I have strong opinions on so I might not have as much to say about certain characters. I also haven’t seen every episode nor do I remember every episode I have seen so call me dumb if one of these takes or ideas is dumb

Elena Gilbert

Is it just me or was one of Elena’s most consistent character traits making people forget about trauma when she could easily just make it hurt less. Like she does it with Jeremy in season one and herself in season six. Vampires in this universe have been shown to be able to compel people to have heart attacks so it’s safe to say that they can make extreme emotional trauma just not hurt as bad

Piggybacking off of that a little, Elena should’ve been the one to stake Vicki in season one. It would’ve given her a reason to have Damon compel Jeremy to forget the whole thing and it would’ve added a whole new layer to her relationship with Matt

Elena should’ve been allowed to be a main villain when she turned her humanity off. I’m thinking she should’ve teamed up with Silas because in theory he could bring Jeremy back

Elena consistently defending/staying with Damon even as he continues to do horrible shit right under nose is very odd. Like at some point girl just stand up(I’m not anti-Elena, Damon or even Delena, it’s just weird that this girl with a strong moral compass wouldn’t just leave Damon)

Bonnie Bennett

Mistreated as shit

There were plenty of moments where she should’ve been able to get stronger on camera(this is just this bizarre idea that I have of Bonnie escaping the prison world by absorbing it like Kai absorbed the anti-magic spell)

They should’ve just let her and Damon at least hook up once if they weren’t going to date

Caroline Forbes

Were they trying to set up a possible Caroline/Alaric thing in season seven? Because that’s what it felt like and it was weird

Stefan Salvatore

Kind of a douche at times but otherwise I liked him

I swear to god, in the later seasons they just kind of forgot that Stefan was a ripper

Damon Salvatore

It was weird watching him constantly flip flop between edgy, murderous bad boy and Elena’s soft boy. Either his progression into a love interest should’ve been slower or, since he was a very evil guy for decades, just have a bunch of shit he did back then gradually come to light

Matt Donovan

I fully believe that the last time the writers had any clue what to do with Matt was the whole Mabekah plot line. I also think that Matt should’ve left with Rebekah

Matt’s whole “I hate vampires” thing didn’t make sense because he spent a whole summer between seasons traveling around the world doinkin’ Rebekah so it just comes out of complete left field

I think Vicki’s death should’ve affected him way more blatantly(again I haven’t seen every episode so I might be wrong).

Jeremy Gilbert

The whole Brotherhood of the Five thing could’ve worked if they did anything to establish the brotherhood as any different from regular hunters besides the magical tattoos. Like I know that Jeremy got super strong but outside of him lifting those kegs it doesn’t really come up. Especially since the other hunters relied so much on traps

Could’ve been a really interesting addition to the story if he were used properly. Me personally, I see Jeremy being used to showcase that Elena is willing to go to darker places if needed to protect the people she cares about

Other Random Thoughts

Season five was way too overcrowded with plots, it didn’t need three main villains. Get rid of Wes Maxfield and make Silas the main villain. The Travellers should’ve just been his cult of blood witches or something

Lilian Salvatore should’ve been the main antagonist of Season seven

A vampire turning their humanity off should’ve kept vestiges of the character’s personality.

I don’t think Vicki should’ve been a drug addict or if she was, it shouldn’t have been the reason she was such a volatile vampire. It should’ve been that being a vampire is hard and Vicki just couldn’t handle it

This isn’t everything that I have to say, but it’s something. I also want to clarify that I do in fact enjoy the Vampire Diaries, my brain just can’t help but nitpick things and think about how they could’ve been done differently. Let me know what y’all think or if I need to elaborate on some of this

[shopcat]

okay. steve harrington transgender. here

to begin with, in UTMOST honesty it would be the most narratively satisfying thing on earth alone..

steve, for the better part of his formative years, fell into a crowd of unpleasant people who both weren't ALLOWED to be speculated about due to the shield popularity creates, but did the speculating themselves. and not to like, throw off suspicion by way of purpose, but an after effect of being The Ones you look up to is that no one is above you able to look DOWN

he was so stuck in this role both because it was safe for several reasons but because it was EASY. he didn't have to think twice or look over his shoulder and i honestly think he didn't... he literally is just a guy who cruised through life until his car metaphorically crashed into a goddamn monster.

it's not only an assumption that he acted the way he did as a shield of sorts but it's literally canonical!!! though personally idt he like, dealt with deeply internalised transphobia his like entire life even if that does make this behaviour make sense but i do think it gives a few winks and nudges as to WHY he used to act the way he did when for all intents and purposes he was a fairly normal guy otherwise

like he was never this horrible bully EITHER because he was a nice guy he was just a little bit of a snake about it. he's not the one making the jokes but he's laughing at them and being like Heyyy don't say that lol he was kind of just a normal asshole teenager.. i think this kind of behaviour of conforming to the pack is easy to fall into especially if a part of you is desperate to be seen . or unseen.. the pitfalls of a certain kind of "boys will be boys" masculinity that young boys find themselves falling into are still relevant if not more so to young boys who find themselves wanting to conform TO masculinity and falling into unhealthy mindsets and by-the-line hazards by way of uh. nurture? this behaviour is stoked but it is not natural or bred it's societal and eradicable and steve is the PINNACLE of a character created to be an off-shoot of that societal phenomena as his initial character basis

his self-esteem is tied entirely to his looks!!! his... kind of objectively poor self-image isn't a new topic (for me) but it adds a layer of depth if he's dealing with some sort of dysphoria even if he doesn't know the term for it 😭 his hair has to be PERFECT or he'll die, and he can't wear a stupid little hat because it makes him look dumb, and he can't look dumb because He's supposed to be a hot guy, and hot guys have worth, and the only way he can have worth is to look good and be a passable individual

and by passable i do only mean an individual projecting a hologram of value onto their own existence when existence comes at the cost of just. being alive. he can't find himself open to the possibility that he is allowed to BE ALLOWED because he has told himself, in some way, deep down, he isn't and as the years go in this becomes more and more present and rooted into his psyche

his bedroom looks like a catalogue for Teen Boy Bedroom complete with a framed car and bikini model poster

being a well-known womanising ladies man can very well entirely be because he actually knows what he's doing and puts their needs before his in all the specific ways that this applies to LOL... um, i think girls find themselves feeling safer around him, and noooo not bc he's lesser or Man Lite or anything stupid like that but because he potentially has the forethought of knowledge and compassion that a cis guy would have to work towards despite the previous hazards of social boyhood i mentioned. i also think he probably makes sure to at least make them have an orgasm and anything else that comes with quote-unquote familiar territory LOL

that being said i don't think he's having as many like one night stand type deals as people assume.. i think he sees girls on and off and assumedly here u can say some of them would know but honestly, sex is not just a certain kind of penetrative and trans people do in fact have it casually all the time with cis people

swimming is known to widen the shoulders and therefore narrow the hips! also, him working out as a whole self-esteem gender euphoria thing is entirely plausible... if he's In shape "for the ladies" that's GOOD (in his mind) bc it helps him feel more assured in himself and like, his body

also growing out his chest hair cuz the ladies like it is the funniest thing ever just in general but also soo transgender. to me. look at my awesome chest hair. it's also so gay

ADDITIONALLY, i feel the urge to say with UTMOST clarification i do not think he's trans because of whatever typically or projected feminine traits he has in fanon or otherwise . i love steve bc he IS the guy's guy who actually has a lot of UNtoxic and healthy masculinity, and i think approaching Being A Man as an internal, identity-specific thing leads you to have a better understanding of what personal masculinity is to yourself. i think he's probably at this point in time very comfortable with his identity and being a Self Made man in more ways than one bc like, he is one!!!

and in fact he is still my babygirl and your babysitter is gnc af it's just cooler if he's trans. gender nonconformity isn't like, more complex when cis people do it or anything

though i do think it's funny that he uses women's shampoo conditioner hairspray and it is entirely possible for someone to think it's bc that's what he grew up with so he knows it works best for his hair. i bet he had a 2 week meltdown when he switched to men's products and it fried it i honestly still refuse to use men's products they're awful...

also going off of that him being so dead on being like You tell anyone this and i will fucking kill you!!!! bc he doesn't want to be made fun of or teased showcases a certain kind of insecurity tied in explicitly with his masculinity. despite being arguably incredibly masculine

his manhood(?) is something that was cultivated, maybe even in a very short amount of time or something present THE entire time, and it is assumedly, going off of the small amount of home life we know of being the unhealthy role model he has THERE of an adulterer for a father who wants him to conform to the machine of school + labour = adult, something he worked through himself FOR himself. indicating it is potentially an identity-based thing. he looks after the kids because he felt he needed to and he did it frankly without a second thought because it WAS second thought. dustin said come on!! and he went Alright. the way he acts around the kids, in different ways throughout the three seasons, is incredibly caring and their-needs-first and DESPITE the complaints he never actually shuns the responsibility he is in a way giving himself. he embraces it!!! healthy masculinity :)

also honestly even being the guy who is like, insanely obsessed with his image in more ways than one is a fun little thing to me and i once again love the like presence of an 80s man's PEAK of coolness in taking pride in your appearance and maybe a lesser extent in how you act. guys who work hard to look nice and put effort in their HAIR and their CLOTHES and all that were ALLLLWAAAYS getting bitches... to be a pretty boy is to be derided by a man whose girlfriend wants to stick her tongue down your throat

i don't like headcanoning transphobia or homophobia 😭 BUT if you are someone who agrees that his parents/home situation is potentially.. not ideal, i could definitely see his dad wanting him to be a Proper perfect Man. or potentially this is the reason he doesn't interact with them much, or maybe they're generally supportive but just don't get him, or he's always walking on eggshells and waiting for the shoe to drop.. i think his parents probably do their best with it and his dad seems like the type to have WANTED a son and heir sort of deal but now steve has to live up to that expectation and things like grades + not getting into trouble + a proper job to ~build character~ all fit in with this in mind

also him going along with it with seemingly little complaint is very suggestive of something or other. i think maybe he once again feels like he also has to prove he's something and proving he's worthy of respect or like love goes hand in hand with an identity like this imo.. he is desperate to be loved and to FIND love and be understood .. 😢

MOST of all i just think he's trans cuz i just think it and i can have many nuanced reasons for it but it will always boil down to i think it'd be awesome. it makes his character more interesting and loveable to me while also changing absolutely nothing about him. he's coolguy and the hot fan service and the Macho Action Man step in and Mr Cool 80s Heartthrob he is MEANT to be assumed cis and assumed straight, because why else wouldn't he be such, which means if he WAS it's automatically more meaningful and it's so fucking AWESOME you're telling me that's not absolutely sick...

also if you disagree i don't care 💖 doubly so if you disagree based on the fact that you WANT him to have... different genitalia. which makes you look insane because he fucking DOES anyway like he's still cis in 99% of all content he can still be cis to YOU. he's literally concurrently also amab to me i just enjoy this hc more than any other... someone saying he's trans to them doesn't mean you can run around talking about how much you love cock or whatever or being So Baffled and Confused and you JUST don't understand oh me oh my. and if that's literally your entire problem phalloplasties existed in the 80s + strap ons also exist + bottom growth also exists + it doesn't actually matter.

idc if you have a sex preference acting like trans ppl r the scum of the earth just for existing how we do makes you Literally an asshole and just transphobic. and i'm sorry you don't get to enjoy steve harrington boypussy indulgence you black hearted shrew

and, second also, i don't care that he... peed standing up and people sound like children when they use this as like cisgender evidence like man what 😭 people with vaginas can pee standing up?! or he could have just squatted down after unzipping and telling dustin to turn around its literally not rocket science to infer. anything. and like YES he had sex with nancy sure but it literally cuts away before he even gets his pants off, and even if it hadn't cut away do you seriously think the same movements wouldn't be being made EITHER?! have you had sex be honest. these are both entirely arbitrary points based on a weird need to ~prove~ what genitalia he has when it's not even actually about that and some of you people are way too invested in it either way...

the bulge in his jeans is a gun

[renniethedwstan]

I just can't puck a favourite Doctor anymore. I love them all. I love all the Classics, (need to watch them again to know why i like each doctor from the classics. )all the rebooted. I love Nine, ten, eleven, twelve and Thirteen. I just can't pick one. They're all amazing and wonderful in their own ways I just can't pick at all.

I love Nine because he's a no-nonsense smart aleck spaceman who falls in love with a modern-day shop girl. He's still recovering from the war. He obviously suffers from either trauma or PTSD but tries to make the best of it. He has some of the best one liners and is just funny. (Or at least I think he's funny and I do like a lot of his episodes.)

I love Ten because, let's be honest. He's a pretty boy, goofy. His and Donna's dynamic will always be iconic. There are moments where I just want to smack the sod because he's a jerk or he's just pushed the lines too far. But I can never stay mad at him. (Well maybe I can because he removed Donna's memories but that's a different conversation) he's pretty, he's fun, also funny as well. But is a tad more childlike. I enjoy watching his episodes with my mum as she adores ten.

Eleven. I love this Doctor so much. Yes I love all of them like I said but I will admit there is a soft spot for eleven in there as well. He's an elderich old man with a young face. He acts so childish that it makes it obvious that he's actually a very haunted being whose filled with so much anger and sadness that he loses control and some of his kindness. As much as I love this Doctor. He's not a doctor I'd find myself trusting easily just because of how dark he can get. He's suffered a lot of lost but he's also comfortable causing loss as well. Which shows that he's lost compassion and its going to be hard to rail him back to the spot he used to be where mercy was better than cruelty.

Twelve. Okay so my love for him is a bit more newer as I felt like I never gave him a proper chance when I was younger but I'm now reaching his episodes (s10 it's underrated. So is Bill and his dynamic) I will admit I struggled to like him when I was younger but now I'm older. I feel like I can relate to his grumpiness quite a bit. Humans are stupid and annoying. They're hard work I just wish I had the confidence to insult everyone or had the ability to tell them to shut up like Twelve did. Now on my rewatch I could possibly say Twelve is a brilliant Doctor. Maybe even the best. Not writing wise but in a. He doesn't react like how ten or eleven reacts. He reacts a bit more like how nine reacts. With mercy. He gives the enemies a chance. I mean all Doctor's do but Twelve does it similar to how nine does it. They take a different way of sorting things out with snark and grumpiness.

Thirteen. Oh my precious baby girl. I'm still not okay that she's no longer the Doctor. I loved Thirteen if I'm honest. I will always defend her Doctor. Yes maybe the episodes needs tweaking ill say that but I don't hate the Doctor. I loved her Doctor. She's bubbly fun and just a funny o' ball of social anxious. She's a mood. She's my lil ND mood. Yes she can go dark too. And those moments have made me cross when she takes her anger out on her fam. So she does make me wanna dmack her like ten does. Bit I'm probably more likely to trust her more than I would with eleven just because she seems like she has such warm energy when she is happy. She's a bit more level headed than ten and eleven I'd say (may need to watch her era again. I haven't done it yet lol ooops) she was more with her words than actions I'd say but correct me if I'm wrong. I did like the way she defended Ryan that was sweet. Yes she was awkward at some moments but she's an awkward Doctor. But I will say. Some of her episodes had some funny moments for example when Graham was just like "WORST UBER EVER!) I loved that. I also loved the Master from her era. Now I love all the incarnations of the Master but I will say that Dhawan is my favourite. I just love how utterly fucking manic he is. Dude terrified me. Yet at the same time. He got those dark puppy eyes that makes me wanna hug him too!!.

...sorry bout that rant. But I'm excited for the 60th though.

[7waystreet]

legacies | ch.2

synopsis — a fiery (y/n) newly enters a university campus dominated by the three trust fund brats. she’s not going to take their shit and they’re not going to let her off so easily either. will this rivalry evolve into friendship, lust or love?

genre — college, angst, friendship, love, slow burn

disclaimer — 18+ strong language & sexual content

chapter index:

01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | coming soon

ch. 2

It's as if nothing around you could put a damper on your bright mood, or so you think when you step out of your girls dormitory and skip down the stairs towards the class you've been looking forward to the most, the weather perfectly sunny with a fair breeze on your second day at university. A look of content easing your face, your heart's certainly feeling lighter, although you felt like that couldn't be possible so quickly after the brazen encounter with the three boys just yesterday. But thanks to your short meeting with Kim Taehyung after the scene, you'd at least been blessed with some peace of mind.

"Awww Koo!!! Are you okay my baby??? I swear I'll rip that witch's hair out for this!!!"

The taste of vomit gurgles up your throat when your sight focuses on his athletic figure leisurely reclining on a bench in the campus courtyard, heavily surrounded by a herd of the skimpiest girls thirsting for his attention by practically throwing themselves at him. Jungkook appears uninterested though as he mindlessly keeps staring at the ground while man spreading his toned thighs out, all while the annoying girl whining next to him presses a cold ice pack on his puffed out cheek with overflowing care. You hate these types of girls, the ones willingly chasing after boys to claim their undeserving piece of popularity, a look of irritation now dawning your face as you begin walking in Jungkook's direction.

Your feet pause when Jungkook's attention redirects to you as you get closer, his gaze quickly picking up off the grass and his shadowy eyes meeting yours in a flare. The total lack of expressions on his face twists into a fresh new look of deepening interest, clearly having been surprised by seeing you bravely approach him instead of cowering away from him in fear. Why would you run from him though and show weakness when he's anyways in most of your classes? That'd only feed into his delusion of having some sort of a power over you, which you'd never just hand in to him, if even at all. The girls around Jungkook instantly throw you the nastiest of looks by the way he's observing you of all people, their immense jealously seeping out as they stare dumbfounded at how absorbed he is by your presence, despite their wild attempts to charm him.

"I just wanna say I'm sorry. It wasn't right of me to hit you like that" you admit to Jungkook after swallowing your pride, your chest tightening up with residual anger from the fresh memory of him ruthlessly destroying your grandma's watch. Regardless of his unforgivable behavior, it's not in your authority to physically assault someone as their punishment, your upright conscience forcing you to apologize since raising your hand on any person isn't an acceptable thing you could be proud of.

"Well, guess what? It's not okay" Jungkook seethes with a cocky glow now dazzling his pretty face, his long legs instantly bouncing up and taking a few strides forward to meet you up close. He only stops when you're a nose's distance from each other, the furiously contorting expressions of the flock of desperate girls he leaves behind secretly boosting up your ego.

"It wasn't okay for you to ruin my watch either. But am I hearing you say sorry?" you spit back in response, the lack of compassion he so proudly carries in his voice triggering you to lose your cool. Jungkook just makes it so easy to fall in hate with him, his mouth wickedly twitching with gall before he chooses to answer.

"I'm not apologizing to you. I did you a favor by getting rid of that shit ass watch of yours."

Forget even showing empathy, it's his incompetency that truly astonishes you, the way his high opinion of himself clouds his basic judgement and understanding of the world deserving of real pity. It's as if he's created a fool proof bubble that he loves basking inside, his authority at the maximal degree within this fake universe that only he's the master of. Anger shoots up your heart at his rude comment, your eyes first flickering towards his swollen cheek which your palm had already done the honor to greet, then settling over onto his untouched, soft and milky one. "Your other cheek's looking lonely. Don't tempt me, Jeon."

"Your wrist's looking rather lonely too" Jungkook fires back in a flash, although with a chuckle this time as he grabs your bare wrist in a painful grip. Your jawline clenches when you brush him off with a heedless arm shaking, his entire demeanor soon bubbling with excitement from his victory of successfully pissing you off. You genuinely question whether he enjoys this kind of back and forth with you, his giggles an indication of how he seemingly likes the few seconds he gets to spend with you to his heart's content, even if that means the time spent together is merely over fights and quarrels.

Letting out a shallow sigh, you decide not to indulge any further in this mess of an unplanned encounter, turning around away from Jungkook with a swift move. Trying to soothe your heated mind by flashing your thoughts back to your sweet hangout with Taehyung from the previous day, you now continue to make your way over to your class, trying your best to block out Jungkook's continued laughter with the dimwitted girls who've joined in with him in the distance.

"Order anything you want. I'm paying" Taehyung had advised you after bringing you to the college cafeteria, crouching down with your backpack still strapped on his shoulder so you could stuff the remains of your watch in a zipper while you'd both waited in line.

"You don't have to pay for me... I can afford to pay for myself" you'd informed him in a reserved tone, frankly unsure of his true motives behind treating you so well after you'd humiliated Jungkook with the slap. The first lesson you'd so roughly learned just a few minutes ago was to not trust anyone here, the way Jimin had fooled you with his flip of a switch attitude scarring you into keeping tabs on Taehyung, despite his much friendlier approach. You weren't going to make that mistake twice.

Taehyung had now appeared somewhat hurt by your words, the tall boy's brows furrowing and lips pouting in a tender manner, but he'd still spoken his mind regardless, his honesty surprisingly refreshing amongst the chaos. "I know... but it's the least I can do in return for how my best friends disrespected you."

"Why are hell are you even friends with them?" your anguish had slipped out, the desire to know why this sensible seeming boy uncharacteristically chills out with assholes like Jimin and Jungkook fully taking over you. You'd internally scolded yourself right after for letting your emotions overpower you into losing the control you usually hold over your tongue, your face becoming more tense as Taehyung took a long pause before answering your blunt question.

"I grew up with them. Jiminie and Jungkookie are my family... They're all I've got now" Taehyung had lowered his gaze, the tone of his voice immersed with a deepening sadness.

A formidable awkward silence had followed, you placing in your iced coffee order while Taehyung opted for an iced tea instead, your mind lost in thought wondering what he exactly must've meant by his friends are all he's got now. His sullen disposition had started making you feel uneasy and a bit concerned, the way he continued to stay quiet even when you'd settled down at a table near a window worthy of some worry.

"It used to be my dad's..." Taehyung's deep voice had promptly stolen your attention, your eyes curiously trailing from your coffee cup on the table over to his dainty digits fidgeting with the flashy silver ring decorating his left index finger. "... It got passed down to me after he died last year."

You'd sneaked a peak up at his face after his unforeseen confession, your features now mimicking his gloomy ones as your own fingers had unknowingly wrapped around your empty wrist. Taehyung's actions suddenly made more sense, the way he'd shown empathy after seeing Jungkook break your family's memento a reflection of his faithful attachment towards his own.

"Is that why you helped defend me back there?" you'd sprung up in question for confirmation, Taehyung's glassy eyes slowly locking in on your palm that was still clutching the wrist that was missing your late grandma's watch. His nod of approval which'd followed affirmed your theory of why he'd decided to care for you and check up on you in the first place, despite you publicly smacking his best buddy.

"I used to be just as cruel as them you know... Worse, if anything. I lost count of how many people I'd hurt. It all seemed pointless after losing my father. My idol. I've now got a big responsibility to look after my mother and our family business... I can't afford to slip up."

You'd just met him today, and it felt crazy even thinking this, but it was difficult for you to imagine Taehyung being a vile bully based on his humble character you'd observed so far. But you were going to take his word for it, since after all, you didn't know his history at this university, nor did you know Jimin's or Jungkook's. Your classmates words still echoed in your head about how you should probably stay away from all three of them as they reeked of trouble, but your lips had still formed a faint smile while you slid your palm across the table to hold onto Taehyung's hand for a brief few seconds of support. You weren't a heartless bitch, and Taehyung was the one who'd gone out of his way to reach out to you, so the least you could've done was attempt to provide him with the same comfort he'd given you, while also reminding yourself to strictly keep your guard up.

"I've been through a terrible loss with my grandma's passing too. It changes you in lots of ways. But I'm sure you will do well... you seem like a good person. Thank you for this."

The natural curvature of his lovely lips leans downwards, but the way it'd quickly flipped up into a noticeable boxy smile at your words of encouragement had made you openly grin too. Taehyung's hand had quickly entered the slit of his pant pocket before pulling out his phone, his body language easing up by tenfolds as he'd passed along his expensive iPhone of the latest model to you.

"You seem cool too. The way you violated Jungkookie... my GOD I wanted to burst out laughing! For the future though, just stay out of his way, alright? Jimin too. I don't know if I'll always be there to stop them if you happen to run into them and something happens. But here, let's exchange numbers. Ring me up if you ever need any help with anything. I'll tell them to leave you alone too. I'm sure they'll listen to me" Taehyung had happily babbled in an innocent round of excitement, a cute smile relaxing his cheeks when you'd accepted his phone and begun typing.

"I appreciate it a lot, Taehyung. Can't believe I'm saying this, but you're my first friend here" you'd chuckled as you warmly returned Taehyung's phone in his outstretched hand, him then shooting you a quick text message so you could save his number too.

"Well, let your first friend walk you to your next class! But please hold your backpack this time though... what are you carrying in this heavy ass thing? Bricks?!" he'd replied back in sudden annoyance, your face instantly dropping at his bitter glance in your direction, but he'd quickly snorted into laughter and waved his hands at you to let you know he was only joking. With a friendly punch to his arm, you'd gripped your coffee cup while getting up as Taehyung continued to carry your backpack despite your constant attempts to pull it off of him, his giggles filling the hallway when he'd helped you navigate your way to class.

With thoughts of your bothersome confrontation with Jungkook in the campus courtyard long gone, an honest smile curls up on your lips when you realize you're walking down the same hallway in present time, Taehyung's laughter still echoing in your ears as you make a mental note of the classroom number on the door to your right. Distracted by your memories with Taehyung, you've clearly strolled past the place you're shortly meant to enter, both of your feet now reversing back up towards the adjacent door with the correct number you're searching for engraved on it. The name 𝐉𝐔𝐍𝐆 𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐎𝐊 sits printed in gold plating on the alluring entrance to the dance studio, which holds the contemporary dance class you're so beyond excited to start soon.

"Fucking hell, Dad! PLEASE! You can't be doing this!"

Your body turns frigid as you gently twist the doorknob to the studio open and sneakily peak your head inside, your eyes sealing in on the figures of three people standing towards the back, in the middle of what appears to be a heated discussion. Your stealth goes totally unnoticed by all three of them, although your nosiness and curiosity gets the best of you when you identify the blonde boy as none other than Park Jimin, his rebellious yells and protests against the spitting older image of him quite alarmingly disrespectful.

"You see how this ungrateful rascal talks to me, Jung?!"

The middle aged man in a crisp Italian suit and exquisite Valentino shoes frustratingly runs his fingers through his gelled back hair as he speaks, a threat lingering in his angry comment truly aimed at his son. His cruel eyes first glare at Jimin, then jump towards the lean man dressed in a set of baggy light blue wash pants and an oversized white t-shirt, the colorful jewelry he's decked out in upping his cool style. Professor Jung looks uncomfortably shaken up by the situation, although he tries to hide it by flashing his soft dimples in an attempt to soothe the rich man's fury, his nimble fingers nervously fidgeting with the beanie on his head.

"Ah, Mr. Park... Sir, I do understand your frustration... But Jiminie is our best dancer, and he always guarantees us a win at the annual intercollegiate dance competition, which in turn raises our university's reputation. You withdrawing his name this year means we're certainly coming home with a loss... I hope you reconsider your decisi—"

Professor Jung turns pale as a ghost when Mr. Park lets out a blaringly arrogant laugh. The father bores his dire eyes into Jimin's hurt ones to really screw in the insult while he replies back to the dance teacher. "Star dancer, huh? My son is nothing but a failure in the making. Bringing shame to my name by choosing dance as a career when he's got my empire to look after... How pathetic! He wouldn't even be able to wipe his own ass if it weren't for the luxuries I've provided him with all his life. My decision is final. Jimin will be focusing on his studies during his final year to make sure he passes all of his courses, this moron. None of this dance competition bullshit to distract him. You got that, Jung? If you hear even one more complaint against Jimin from anyone, you call me up. You understand?"

Jimin shudders with a rage unlike you've ever seen before, both of his eyes bloodshot red as they narrow up with utmost hate for his father, his chest visibly heaving while he dryly swallows back his spiteful words, which would only get him in more trouble that he's smart enough to avoid for now. Professor Jung appears severely anxious standing in his own damn studio too, clearly having lost his battle against the more important man holding a higher authority over matters than him himself.

"Sure, Mr. Park... Will that be all, Sir? We can pick this up later if you'd like... I'm actually expecting a class soo—" the dance teacher's head suddenly snaps in your direction mid-sentence, the sound alert from the text message dinging on your phone capturing his attention.

"Oh, hi! Uh, I'm (y/n). I'm here for class! I didn't mean to interrupt. Uh, sorry."

Jimin now looks like he's actually going to pass out from the humiliation, as if how his father had poorly treated him wasn't enough already, his mind absolutely livid at the possibility of having you stand there listening in on this conversation too. But it's obvious you've done so by the way you're acting quite awkward, unable to whip up a convincing fake act when unexceptionally put on the spot like this. Jimin's eyes penetrate to your soul with utmost malice while professor Jung kindly welcomes you inside, Mr. Park simultaneously strutting out of the studio without another word or even a glance in your direction, which you're truthfully grateful for.

Your thoughts are still zooming all over the place when you enter the girls locker room post-class to wash up after a sweaty routine, now finding yourself caught in a debate whether you're happy to get the chance to explore your interest in contemporary dance, or pissed off to your core by the fact that you're partnered with Jimin out of everyone, professor Jung's reasoning being the best dancer could help the new girl catch up to speed. It'd probably been the stiffest hour of your life having Jimin teach you some moves while not even looking you in the eye the entire time, his words barely audible with how he kept mumbling in an attempt to hide the hatred for you in his voice.

"Shhhh..."

Jimin's hushed whisper grazes your ear all of a sudden, before you feel his palm press against your mouth to block you from screaming despite your vigorous wish to do so, your completely naked body turning around in full shock to face an equally naked Jimin. He glides the white shower curtain shut with his other hand, hiding the fact that you're both dripping in warm water together in the same showering stall in the girls locker room. He widens his eyes to threaten you into not making a sound before gradually lifting his palm off your lips, his gaze then slowly traveling down from your face to your exposed breasts, not stopping until he's observed every inch of your skin down to your toes, all while you keep gawking at him in dumbstruck awe with a susceptibility to his insanely bold actions.

"Now that I've gotten your attention... don't you dare tell anyone what you heard earlier. I don't want people knowing the real reason behind why I won't be participating in the dance comp this year is because my fucking dad withdrew my fucking name."

Without even taking a look down at his package, you extend your hand forward and grip his balls with a squeeze, Jimin's plump lips parting in a sharp gasp while he tensely holds his breath in from your sudden touch.

"You'd think after the terrible lack of respect you seem to get from your own dad, you wouldn't want to put others through the same. But lucky for you, I'm not like you. Your secret is safe with me."

[hanjinstant]

✩ enhypen mtl to enjoy casual physical contact !! ✩

most

jake : this guy to me, just screams hands all over you as often as possible, not even in an inherently sexual way; he just loves to know that you're close and that he can protect you. if you're the type to get anxious about small things (to some extent, i think that's everyone) he'd also use light touches to assure you (like tracing circles on your back when you're nervous)

jay : the softest, bestest boy. he's too caring not to absolutely crave being as close to you as possible. would be one of those rare guys that understands the fear us girls have when we're out on our own (:/). will learn from spending lots of time with you when you get nervous because of someone acting strange and will hold you closer if he sees you tense. i can definitely see his love language being physical touch

jungwon : i - okay this might be weird but - when i look at jungwon i'm just like he must be so soft? like the clothes he wears are usually hoodies and jumpers. would give my left leg to just hug him?!?!? the fact that he was chosen as the leader just shows his capacity for compassion. what a great choice that was, belift (unlinke choices they've been making recently). can see him giving back hugs at any possible moment

sunoo : i've said it before & i will definitely say it again but sunoo just radiates the sunniest and kindest energy. i bet he has a golden aura around him irl, tbh. on any dates with you he'd take the opportunity to hold your hand and feel your fingers snugly wrapped in his. he's the type to find everything you say funny and would hand out high fives like they're oxygen particles. especially when you make a good joke

heeseung : i think hee knows what he needs and doesn't feel the need to be in physical contact with you unless you're alone. pretty sure and he doesn't really appreciate pda either, even if it's him and you. i see him as a very independent person who likes to do things on his own quite often, actually. he savours time with you !!

niki : just not really his thing - lowkey highkey prefers to muck around with you, or grab some food together. definitely would not so much as tap you on the shoulder when he's with the rest of enha because he'd get teased sooo much

sunghoon : can see hoon taking a long time to warm up to his s/o, i'm talking a couple months at least. sometimes he can appear cold but i think he's just shyer than he appears. physical contact with sunghoon wouldn't be casual for ages, in fact there would be hardly any until he feels comfortable around you and then i think he'd be more playful.

least

a/n: thanks for joining me! i usually don't like valentine's day but here's a lil present from me :) enhypen masterlist

[jokingmisfit]

Yandere Platonic Patton Hc’s

WARNINGS- Murder, Abuse, Unhealthy relationships, Kidnapping, Things related to that.

THIS ISN’T FOR KIDS READ AT YOUR OWN RISK (18+ Please)

Remember when I said he was clingy before, well now if you aren’t doing something where you can’t be held onto for you’re being held. Patton will always be touching you, or hugging you, or having you sit in his lap.

Patton is delusional and a bit clueless. He isn’t quite aware that his emotions shouldn’t be this intense. It’s best not to shatter this reality because he can become very unstable very quickly which will only make him more dangerous to others and you.

He makes you call him Dad, Papa, Dada, or even Father.(Not daddy, no, he learned his lessons with that)

You aren’t allowed to help much with baking with yandere Patton. You can stir food and help shape things, but you are NOT allowed anywhere near the oven or utensils because, “What if you hurt yourself!?”

Yandere Patton is way too over protective. He makes you use little kids utensils, hand feeds you, blows on your food, he’ll help bathe and dress you (it takes a LOT of convincing for him not to, and it’ll only work every once in a while), and he would’ve helped you with going to the bathroom but you fought really hard and had to give up other freedoms for him not to.

The other sides either won’t help because they’re also yandere, or because they don’t have to deal with the over delirious Patton, or because Patton threatened them, or because their convincing did nothing and it’s not like he’s hurting anyone. (pick your favorite reason why)

You aren’t allowed to watch anything too “grownup” or too mature.

Patton will get very upset and confused if you fight him or disobey or do something he doesn’t like. He eventually gets over it and starts giving out punishments.

Patton’s punishments usually involve being spanked, having your favorite items or activities taken away, being scolded (for very small things), or being “grounded” (being locked in a room with nothing but a bed).

Beg enough and be sweet and he’ll give you almost anything you want. He’ll even take you outside, though he’ll have a hold on you the whole time. Patton may even carry you, “so you don’t trip”.

Nicknames are given more often you’ll be called kiddo (obv.), sweetie, sweetheart, my dear girl/boy/child, sunflower, buttercup, little rascal, dreamchild, and other random names that pop into his head

He loves you so very much. Patton is somehow more scary and least scary of the sides as yanderes. Your best option is to let him do what he wants. Too much challenging will make him go crazy, so just let him love you.

If You Escape

If you do possibly find a way to escape he will literally lose his mind. He WILL find you and your escaping causes a huge lapse in his moral compass. Patton lost all self control after you’re taken. He WILL kill the person who helped (unless it was a side because then they’ll just be punished). His morals have crumbled and left a mess of obsession in its wake. 

He’ll regret killing them but he has you back an that’s all that matters.

Patton will punish you severely for leaving him. Your best bet is to lie and act your ass off telling him they took you unwillingly. If you convince him Patton won’t punish you, however he has practically lost his mind. He is 10x more overbearing. You aren’t even allowed to sleep alone anymore.

You’ll want to act nicer and be more careful because this “new” Patton is unstable and very dangerous.

Punishments with him after getting you back may include breaking your bones, killing people you love, starving you, and chaining you to bedposts or walls. He hates hurting you but he won’t risk you leaving him again. Even small slip ups can cause him to lose it and punish you.

[alluringjae]

all i do is wait - kdy

All I Do Is Wait | So Close

⤑ summary: one day, kim doyoung was alive. the next, he wasn’t. he left you and the world too soon, but he made a promise: to look out and wait for you until the very end.

⤑ pairing: doyoung x female reader

⤑ word count: 22.7k

⤑ genre: angst (so much longing), major slow burn, fluff (if you squint really well), slight unprotected smut (not my forté) | ghost!doyoung, hotel del luna!au,  slight college!au, 40s to 90s!au (loads of flashbacks)

⤑ warnings: death, grief, explicit language, sexism (screw the patriarchy omfg), mentions and scenes of alcohol, drinking, smoking, war, unplanned pregnancy, childbirth, and abortion, ghost possession of humans (in like one scene only tbh)

⤑ playlist: fly away with me by nct 127 | all about you by taeyeon | doll by baekhyun and doyoung | give you my heart by iu | wait by exo | like a fool by nive and sam kim | falling by harry styles | lovers by anna of the north | fallingforyou by the 1975 | you are the sunshine of my life by stevie wonder

⤑ long author’s note: minors, beware of the warnings! i highly recommend you watch the kdrama beforehand so you would understand the universe, even if majority of the characters are from my imagination. i also did some prior historical research. though there are inaccuracies, this story is just fiction. importantly, i don’t own the hotel del luna series; they serve as the main inspiration but with some of my twists. i’m also bit rough with writing lately, so there’s also room for improvement. overall, prepare your heart.

i cried so much in the process.

italicized texts symbolize conversations in a dream call. *wink* *wink*

⤑ gif above not mine, ctto!  leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

After all decades of waiting, it’s finally time.

As a soul still wandering in the living world, Doyoung’s options were limited. To peacefully go ahead into the afterlife or wait for his lover by working in the hotel for ghosts until she passed.

He’d chosen the latter, the betrayal he felt from the deities to have gone so soon.

And leave you behind.

But first, let’s take a trip down Doyoung’s journey; life, death, and after it.

1948

Kim Doyoung came from a well-off family. He was a university student, taking up journalism as a pre-law course. He wanted to right the wrongs and let justice prevail. Blessed by his privilege, he wanted to be of service to others who cannot afford it.

Both of you crossed paths at a university in Busan as seatmates. Right after the South Korean constitution granted women’s rights to education, immediately you aimed high and applied for the top universities in the city. After being homeschooled and self-studying under the books, the opportunity to go to an actual school was like a dream come true especially when you received acceptance letters from all of them.

Your first impression of him was that he was moody and quite snobby. When you politely asked him once if you can take a peek at his notes because you lost track of the professor’s lecture, he refused with an annoyed glare.

“You should try harder then.” You nodded in gratitude anyways, taking those words to encourage you. Though it still stung.

When classes that day concluded, you were so ready to return to the women’s dorm and take a breather from men. Since you were far from your village, maybe you would give a call to your father, your mentor all your life to seek his guidance on your professors’ lessons. Once you found your bike and placing your books on the basket in front, a light tap on your shoulder caught you off-guard and almost made you topple over.

“Oh, sh-”

“Oh my, I’m sorry for scaring you like that.”

When you directed your body to the source, it was none other than Kim Doyoung. He removed his blazer from class, resting it on his arm. He wore these suspenders and leather loafers, sporting the rich, preppy boy look. His eyes looked softer, apologetic by the way he gave a slight pout.

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior earlier. It was rude of me to shun you like that.”

Unfortunately, it was rare to find young men like him to own up to their mistakes When you’re the only woman in that class, the majority of the boys are either snickering with judgment at your presence.

“Women are only meant to stay at home.”

“She’s weak. She won’t last here with the deep, legal terminologies the professors use.” Those insults aren’t new to you.

Doyoung seemed like a plot twist in the social narrative. You were surprised, to say the least, yet relieved.

“Oh, it’s okay. Considering I interrupted you from listening to the professor, I could’ve waited after class or as you said, study harder.” You accepted.

Doyoung still felt awful for his attitude, fiddling his briefcase. He struggled to express himself through words, understanding why many had this impression of him being cold. If he were to be honest, his actual initial impression of you was that you were hardworking and resilient, setting a new example of the modern woman. He thought that being too soft on you in class may look degrading, thus his statement from the class was just him treating you the same way as other boys who don’t study hard enough. Unfortunately, it backfired completely.

As a man who grew up with the belief to always pay respect to everyone without discrimination, he had to make it up to you somehow.

“It’s still wrong of me to say that to you, (Y/N). So-” He trailed on, opening his case to bring out one of his notebooks. Without hesitating, he handed it to you. “I took as many notes from the lecture on fallacies here. If there’s any way I can help you in the future, I’m more than willing to help you.”

This newfound kindness from a boy in this patriarchal university may be the silver lining in your current stay. You weren’t too sure if you would get a chance like this in the coming years, so you gladly took it. Noticing the engraved “K.DY” on the lower right side of it, which were his initials, it’s easy to identify that he was rich. But his attitude was different than the others.

Placing it carefully in the front basket, you steadied your body to the handles and pedals of the bike. “Thank you for this, Doyoung. I will return it to you as soon as possible.”

Knowing he was of help to you, he flashed a gummy smile. “No problem, (Y/N). If you want, we can review it before class too just in case the professor gives another surprise quiz.”

You let out a laugh, being reminded of your horrified face on a previous surprise quiz in the past. “Oh god, I flunked that quiz! Damn him.”

Ever since that conversation, it’s where your friendship started.

Going to university became more enjoyable and less daunting, having Doyoung defend you from other boys (even if you’ve told him so many times that you can handle it). After you found out that Doyoung’s status was more elite than you assumed, a lot of boys wouldn’t want to try and test him since their family lines would be at risk. You had a better focus on your academics, and if it weren’t for you, other girls attending university with you would’ve never thought women students would befriend the men. You were the shift in the narrative.

As lucky as you are to have a female support system in the patriarchal university, you found yourself always hanging out with Doyoung. He was filled with so much compassion in his heart and there were beliefs that you both surprisingly shared in your conservative society, deepening your bond. One of them was the sexist view of women as low-status people. He told you one time that thinking that way is like thinking his loving mother is undeserving of things in life. It’s an unacceptable concept, he added. You even met his mother at some point, and she’s a sweetheart.

Another was having the frustration towards those who shame on women who want to study and learn rather than to submit to the power of men so early in their lives.

“I’m so sick of people telling me to stop studying and settle down with some random boy. There’s just so much to learn out here!” You complained. It was one hot weekend that time, and you were both relaxing under the shade of a big tree by a flowing river. That spot is hidden, thus claiming it as your spot. Doyoung leaned by the tree reading while you rested on his lap. At this point, you’ve grown very comfortable with him. Doyoung sighed, putting his book to discuss his thoughts.

“Agreed. You seriously deserve so much better, (Y/N). People today just don’t get it.”

Huffing away that stress, your head tilted to get a better view of Doyoung.

“Doyoung, do you think things will get better for women in the future?” He admired your hopefulness in times of trouble. Stroking your hair to soothe you, he gave a positive reply.

“If we keep fighting for it, then we’ll progress. So let’s not give up, okay?” Your heart couldn’t help but leap.

As he looked at you with blooming flowers from the tree in the background, it was a matter of time where your initial feelings for him diverted into something more. The concept of butterflies in your stomach was only introduced to Doyoung in novels, but he wondered if it’s the exact feeling he was getting from you. From your intelligence to your sharp tongue to fight back the rude boys, the list goes on all the traits that he liked about you.

Weeks later, the questionable status of your friendship changed after he unexpectedly kissed you for the first time while stargazing at your special spot. It caught you off guard at first as your lips froze, him pulling away immediately. He rubbed the nape of his neck out of embarrassment, struggling to maintain eye contact with you.

“Oh shit. I’m so sorry, (Y/N). I screwed up everything, didn’t I?”

As much as the heat in your cheeks increased, you couldn’t deny that you liked it. You’re bold enough to do it again.

“Nope,” you shook your head at him. “Kiss me again, Doyoung.”

Like a movie, the first snow of the season drizzled down on the two of you.

Feeling braver, he leaned forward again to meet your lips again. You may not be experienced physically since it was your first, but that’s what all those romance novels you’ve browsed through are for. Forget the fireworks, people would compare the ideal kiss. It was more like everything paused so this moment can run on its momentum. Lips still locked, Doyoung gripped your waist so you can sit on his lap. As the friction intensified, his lungs needed to breathe for a second. Pulling away slowly, it was an opportunity to take a good look at you. Flustered, messy hair, swollen lips, he would’ve never known that the feelings were mutual.

“First kiss under the first snow? I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

1950

Dating Doyoung gave you the best two years of your life. He’d bike with you to your spot, recommend you new books to read, cook for you when you’re too lazy to at the dorm, and take you around the city he was ever so familiar with.

“Oh c’mon, let’s try this out!”

You dragged his arm to this new contraption that can take your photos in a flash. This was at an annual city fair, your first time to attend one. Because your small village couldn’t cater to these kinds of events, you beamed with excitement with all the amusement outlets such as rides, games and more. All Doyoung wanted was to eat and play few games, then return. He wasn’t much for photos, but because it was your first, he decided to go for it. Two people couldn’t fit the cushion, so you settled on his lap. One arm wrapped behind his neck, you inserted a few coins to activate the machine.

“So we have a few seconds before it starts, so you better smile, okay?” He ordered you based on the instructions of the machine.

The first shot was matching grins, the second showed your bright smiles, the third let your creativity wild with silly expressions, and the last was him pecking your cheek unexpectedly. The authentic surprise was captured.

“Let’s take another one so you can have a copy.” You insisted, searching through the small pockets of your purse for more coins.

“(Y/N), it’s okay. I don’t want-” He was cut off by the machine activating again as your coins entered inside.

“Too late, smile!” The first shot almost caught Doyoung in a frenzy, but he pulled it off with an open smile. The second expressed your laughter from your slyness, him sporting crinkled eyes when you let your tongue out and placed your hands near the temples of your head to mock him. To sort out your playfulness, Doyoung surprised you by grabbing your wrists to place them back on his shoulders. Without a breath, one free hand tugged you closer and his lips shut you up. You deepened your kiss by leaning forward and fisting the hems of his buttoned-up top. Kissing back was natural, not caring where you were and if the camera snapped your moment of intimacy. Doyoung always liked taming you with his kisses. You didn’t mind making out for a bit in the booth if it weren’t for the loud knocking from the side put a stop to your risqué antics.

“Yah! Take your making out session someplace, other people are waiting outside!”

The both of you could care less, laughing mid-kissing at the disturbance you’ve caused. It’s a thing when you’re young and in love, perhaps. Eventually, innocent kisses ignited an invitation to his bed.

“I’ve never done this before, but I want to do it with you.” You gave your full consent, laying on his soft bed in your undergarments. His entire family went on vacation, so you took advantage of it.

The way he crawled on top of you, his slender hands spreading your legs wide open like another novel waiting to be unraveled. Erotica was a genre you never explored, but Doyoung finds it as his guilty pleasure. Who would’ve known that the most prestigious, gentleman-like man of the university found amusement in sex? His lingering touches intoxicated your entirety, allowing him access. His tongue did you wonders, releasing these sensations you’ve never known was possible. Tugging on his hair as he passionately devoured your core for the first time, this knot in your core unwound and your vision went white for a split second. This rush of pleasure and exhaustion filled your veins, yet you craved more.

That night, giving each other your virginities, marked the first time you declared your love for each other.

Though there are times when dating wasn’t easy either, having prying eyes around you with judgment and the unavoidable stress from university, you’d sort things out in the end. After all, it’s in fights and arguments where you learn more about each other and grow from it.

If someone asked you to settle down already, Doyoung is the first candidate for your hand. You’ve sent letters to your parents talking about him and met his family.

“You’re the only girl who softens him up in this society of uptight men.” His mother whispered when you helped her wash the dishes after dinner.

As much light he brought to your life those two years being together, it turned into the worst and something questionable when the Korean war began.

You vividly remember the day Doyoung admitted to you his enlistment in the South Korean army. It was mandatory for men his age to serve. His dream to pursue law was to be put on hold, especially when schools were closing down. Though he’d try to confide with himself that serving in this war is another way to help his country, his nationalism outweighed his fear of death. Just as long as it brings them closer to a better tomorrow, he was willing.

Unfortunately for you, you were terrified shitless because again, it’s a war. If your childhood wasn’t enough to recall all those painful emotions from the past world war, you didn’t know what would. Being able to survive is a miracle, so there was no way you would let Doyoung go. The ignorance you gave towards him to protect your heart, moving to your aunt and uncle’s home in the same city after the university suspended classes since going back to the village was a big struggle.

So many villages have been bombed already, increasing your anxiety. All you hoped now was to be reunited with your family safely. It’s a good thing though they already left as soon as they could and are on their way to the city. One normal day while you were teaching your younger cousins how to read, there was a knock on the front door. Since your aunt was busy cooking dinner, you took charge to open it in hopes you’ll find your family on the other side.

However, it was none other than that someone you still couldn’t face just yet. He wore the familiar dark green uniform with black combat boots, his fluffy hair fully shaved even it’s covered by his hat. By the dirt on his face, he must’ve trained earlier that day. With a heavy backpack behind him, he’s on his way somewhere but you didn’t know where. You closed the door behind you so you can speak to him privately.

“What are you doing here, Doyoung? How did you find me?”

“I knew you didn’t want to talk for a while, so I gave you space. But today, I found out that I’m going to be stationed in Seoul tomorrow.”

Seoul was where most of the war was happening. Your heart was shattered.

“So I went to your dorm, but your roommate told me you moved out and gave me this address here.” He answered honestly with this new burden to top it off, not having the courage to look you in the eyes to avoid crying. “I needed to see you, (Y/N).”

“Doyoung,” within those times of separation, you re-evaluated if running away from him was the right choice. Even if he tried to convince you of the good things about being in the army, everything always comes at a price. War meant his life was uncertain daily. You just wanted him to yourself, to stay by your side, to help out in the war in other ways, but it would be selfish to stop him from his goals. So you gently embraced him, making him drop his bag to the side. With extreme fear comes your soft whimpers against his chest. Rather than running away so fast, you should’ve mustered all those remaining bits of courage to spend it with him. He must be feeling terrified too.

“I’m just scared for you. War doesn’t guarantee anything. Us surviving world war two is still miraculous.” Doyoung winced at your truthful words as he returned that embrace. There go his tears that he shed almost every night since he told you about his enlistment.

“I had no choice, (Y/N). My family and I would be in big trouble if I didn’t follow orders.”

“I know. I’m sorry I ran away, Doyoung.” You continued to sob as you feel him stroke your hair from behind. He knew well that it was one way to calm you down.

“If only we didn’t live in harsh times like this.” He sighed, longing for the same thing. He cursed whoever decided to make him exist during a painful time. He would trade anything for a more peaceful life.

“Stay here for the night, please.” You pleaded, not wanting to waste any more time.

Your relatives were aware of your relationship, allowing such a request. They trusted you enough to sleep in the same room, knowing all too well the struggles of being love during times like this.

Neither of you held back from the tension that crept into the room. This time, you led him through the first kiss while his body laid flat on the cushion bed. On top, straddling him fully. Leaving him soft kisses on his neck while teasingly unbuttoning his pajama shirt, your fervent lips trailed from his neck, lowering to his sculpted abdomen, until you reached the waistband of his pajama pants.

Only in books did you learn about how to please men, so this may be the only time you can test it out. Doyoung stiffened on your soft kisses on his hard-clothed member, glancing him seductively back and forth when you stuck out your tongue.

“Please,” He begged, tugging on your hair. “Touch me.”

Your lips wrapped around his tip before gently going lower to your limit, and slowly sucked on it back and forth. Whenever you’d want to catch a breathe, you’d lick the tip teasingly. Doyoung groaned, threading his fingers along with your hair. He’s so used to be a giver that receiving these sensations by you beats his hand. It was heavenly, yet so vulgar. The way you swallowed his cum rather than spitting it out even if the taste wasn’t favorable, you were too much in a daze to process how sudden he switched positions. While you sprawled devilishly under him, your fingers looping on his dog tag necklace to bring him lower for a kiss while feeling two of his fingers go under your panties to teasingly play with your slick.

“Don’t t-tease...” You stuttered, clenching at how fast he can get you stimulated with his fingers.

The whole night long was consumed with his body against yours, the wet sounds of deep thrusts and muffled moans praising each other. The following morning, your naked bodies remained entangled. He was still in deep slumber when your body clock alarms you to wake up. though you couldn’t move when he had his arm around you. The love marks on his chest that you’ve made were more exposed when the sunlight hits him, your fingers carefully trailing on it so he wouldn’t be startled. He needed all the rest he can get.

If only you can have mornings like this when war wasn’t in the equation.

Bidding goodbye was tough. Breakfast was too quiet, just like how he packed his remaining belongings and dressed back to his uniform. You watched him by the patio as he waited for the bus to pick him up. When one finally arrived, he turned around to face you once more. He understood that neither of you wanted to say anything. It would make things harder.

You had to stay strong for him because he was fighting the scarier people. But as he waved goodbye, this was your only exception. Just before he boarded the bus,

“Fuck it.” You mumbled to yourself, running to him as your life depended on it.

“(Y/N), what are you-” Doyoung stopped at his tracks, awaiting your sudden move. You shut him up by desperately placing your lips against his, having that a tiny sliver of hope that it won’t be your last. His hands cradled your face while your arms tangled behind his neck.

It wasn’t until the annoyed coughs from the bus driver stopped your actions. Patting your dress from crinkling, Doyoung left a kiss on your forehead.

“Wait for me, alright? I’ll be back before you know it.” He reassured you.

“Fight strong and stay alive, Doyoung. I’ll always be here for you.”

“I love you, (Y/N).” He caressed your cheek one last time, your hand cupping it.

“I love you too, Doyoung.”

Both of you made sure to write to each other, just anything to keep in touch from being apart.

Oh, if only you knew how long you’d have to wait before seeing each other again.

1951

Doyoung was stationed in the infantry division, always staying prepared for the plans his side made and the active attacks started from the enemy side. He’s lost count of the number of times he’s gotten critically injured and knocked out, but he fought through it with his upcoming plans in mind. How he must fight for the country and stay alive to see the change. How he wanted to have a future with you when everything settles down. It was his motivation every time.

But it took one surprise attack many months later from the enemy side to take it all away. When one of the senior officers was shot, he shielded him without hesitation. All these firing bullets were shot on his back, his legs wobbling from the impact. Due to the non-stop bleeding and lack of urgent medical attention, he painfully lost his life while holding on to his officer.

“Please tell my lover that I love her and I’m sorry.”

Those were his last words before he took one final breath and flatlined.

Seconds later, his soul flowed outside his body and froze at the trippy feeling while witnessing different officers and people on the medic team mourn in front of his dead body. Taeyong, one of the people he befriended from the medic team, tried to wake him repeatedly.

“Doyoung, please don’t joke around. Wake up, please.”

Even if he knew it was hopeless, he did his best to the point his entire team had to pull him away from his best friend’s lifeless body.

“No, he needs to live! He has a family, big dreams, and a girl waiting back in Busan!” He sobbed in his chest. Out of all the people he tried to resuscitate, Doyoung was the first friend that he came across on this occasion. Doyoung ached at this vulnerable sight, wanting so badly to be by his side. With these surprise attacks, death is more prevalent than ever.

“Kim Doyoung?” An unfamiliar voice called for him from behind. He spun around to find one woman in war uniform, though he’s never encountered her in the field, and a man in all black.

“Who are you?”

“I’m Manwol, and he’s the grim reaper. I believe you just died a few minutes ago, correct?”

The truth was piercing to accept, glancing at his lifeless body on the side with Taeyong and another close friend he made, Jungwoo, crying his heart out.

“Are you going to take me already?” He asked.

“Unless you still have things you want to accomplish in the living world, then you can freely go to the other side.” The grim reaper answered monotonously, very much used to this question.

“From the looks of it, you have a lot you want to do still,” Manwol observed from afar, all too familiar with the feeling. “If you come with us, I can help you accomplish them.”

If something stayed with Doyoung until his last breath, it was his skepticism with the supernatural. He was unsure if he can trust them because according to the books, once you’re dead, that’s it. It’s up to the people around him to speak good or bad of him.

“You’re uncertain with our intentions, aren’t you?” Manwol easily read through his stoic expression. “You’ll be surprised with how many things can debunk from the books if you let us, Doyoung.”

For the first time, Doyoung had no clue what and where to go next. No one wrote a book on how to act like a cold, wandering soul. His dreams were limited, meaning he has to find new ones or tweak them a lot to make it possible. Despite her reserved nature, he figured that Manwol looked like someone who knows what she’s talking about. With the grim reaper he’s read in children’s books, he wasn’t as frightening as he was portrayed.

This was his last shot.

“Guide me, please.”

The car ride alone there was messy and bumpy since it was peak war season. He wasn’t the only person who lost their life that night and riding in the vehicle. He recognized a few of them. It was saddening to find the playful Donghyuck, his youngest companion, beside him.

“I sacrificed myself to protect two unarmed nurses in the medic tent when some enemy soldiers charged inside.”

Another was the wise Taeil, who was stationed by the barracks. He was one of the people in the front of in line for battle.

“I thought they were fooling with us, and then suddenly fired multiple attacks. I caught on to it quickly, but they still got me.”

Doyoung remembered all those times he used to ask for love advice from him when it grew hard to be far from you. But that advice is no longer useful when he’s further away from you. He was dead, you weren’t.

Once the three of them arrived at their destination, it was an inn that looked destroyed from the outside, but very organized on the inside. Donghyuck and Taeil decided already what they wanted to do before they cross the other side. Doyoung, on the other hand, was still contemplating.

Manwol knew well how to spot a heartbroken person, being one herself. She wasn’t one to interfere with these affairs, but maybe she’d make an exception. Seeing right through him, he lived a fruitful life. She saw his sacrifice, picking up on his last words being dedicated for you, his lover. He didn’t die in vain.

When the two men were off to follow their plans, Manwol took this chance to approach the downcast man again.

“Is something you holding you back from going…” She questioned, staying by his side for a moment. “…or a special someone?”

“I promised my lover to fight strong and to stay alive while she promised to keep waiting for me. But here I am. She has yet to know that I didn’t make it and I can’t bear to see her in utter pain.”

“Death during a war isn’t new, Doyoung. A lot of promises become broken.”

“But I had so much I wanted to do with her after, Manwol. I can’t just leave her yet, I want to stay by her side even if we can’t see each other physically.”

Based on the information Manwol received about Doyoung from the inn staff, it came to her attention that he was fond of books. Thus, it gave her an idea.

“Doyoung, you’re very similar to the staff here. They all have goals that take years to accomplish, so I gave them a job here.”

“What are you offering me then, Manwol?”

“I have a library here in dire need of a librarian. With your interest in books, would you like to take it? After all, I’m implying that you’d want to wait for your lover to make up for your broken promise.”

Doyoung can’t deny that she was wrong. This was where his journey at Manwol Inn (then became Hotel Del Luna) started. Time worked a little bit differently as a ghost, but it’ll be worth it until you return in his arms one day.

On the day you regrettably received the letter from the military about the tragedy, life has turned for the worst. Upon seeing a soldier by your front step, it was only an innocent habit to give him letters for Doyoung and receiving new ones. However, his hand halted you to hand over a military logo imprinted envelope addressed to you alongside his tidy military uniform other letters from Doyoung.

His last letters.

You had no courage to even complete reading it when the first few lines weren’t enough to taunt you. Nothing could prepare for this dreaded moment.

“We regret to inform you that a report from the war office has confirmed that Kim Doyoung was a casualty of the sudden attack of Seoul. this letter formally declares that he was killed in action....”

Dropping the god-forsaken letter in your hands, you instantly locked yourself in your room. Your parents, who picked it up to read, came running to your door and tediously knocking for you to open it. But you didn’t listen, the heartbreak being too grave.

You tried so hard to keep it together these past months. but this kind of grief resulted in your feeble figure pouring into a heap of salty tears and loud sobs. Your back against the wall smoothly slid down until your butt landed on the floor. You clutched on to your gut that continuously stabbed you back and forth.

Betrayal was an understatement, yet it was beyond his control. War guarantees nothing.

But not when you needed him more than ever, especially when the biggest yet most unexpected news came upon you. All nausea and wild mood swings in the weeks that followed after he left weren’t normal, only to find out that you were expecting his child.

It was a secret you didn’t know how to confront through letters because it was best to tell him in person. Due to the situation, it was impossible. Only in your latest letter did you finally come clean about it, but it was now never to be sent because he has already passed away. Your entire family wasn’t pleased with this outcome but they didn’t shame you for it either. It was your choice and body after all.

They were concerned about how others will perceive you in the long run. An unmarried woman carrying a dead man’s child is taboo in this conservative society. Yet abortion is seen in a bad light too. You were stuck in a double edge sword, but you knew from the beginning that you wanted to keep the child. It’s a struggle, for sure, and your plans will have to wait.

Amid this bad luck, this unborn child is the last closest piece of Doyoung.

Amongst your unavoidable flow of tears that you knew must be stopped so it wouldn’t badly affect your child, you placed a hand on top of your lower belly. There was already an evident swelling bump, but your choice to continue wearing loose clothing to swerve from the public’s judgment covered it fine.

Well, for now. Only in the last trimester, it was going to be a challenge.

“I’m sorry you won’t be meet your father....” You spoke, rubbing it upwards. “....But I’ll make sure to take good care of you. You’re all I have left of him.”

Ever since Doyoung accepted Manwol’s offer, he never left his spot at the library. He was amazed at the endless arrangements of books. Even the western books his parents banned him from reading as a child were there. All this entertainment can distract from the long time he has to wait.

Except for today specifically, he asked Jeno, a new friend he made who also lost his life during the Korean war, to take over for a few hours when he found out that mail was to be delivered in Busan.

“Hyung, are you sure?”

“I just need to see her, Jeno.”

Doyoung expected the heartache when he saw you cry in your bedroom after finding out, and he couldn’t refrain from crying with you. Even as a soul, he’d do anything to cradle you in his arms and say that things will get better in time. How he wanted to tell you to take your time in life and that he’s willing to wait until your time comes. Whenever it could be.

Sadly, he was right there listening to you talk to your unborn child. The disbelief of in his reaction; he was supposed to be a father. Sure, he was relatively young. People won’t approve of it because you were unmarried. But it was an early start to settling down with each other.

It took him a while to accept his unfortunate fate, but for him to be robbed of this meaningful part in life was more unbearable to deal with.

From that point, he made sure to watch over you even if he was invisible. Even if Manwol advised him not to so it won’t complicate anything, he reassured that he has it under control. As a ghost without any grudges, what’s there to throw a fit at? He could retaliate at the enemy soldiers who shot him fearlessly, but they are nowhere to be found and he had no interest to turn into ashes.

The only time he assisted you was when you were giving birth. It was an excruciating process, sweating and breathing intensely. You let a scream every time you pushed, like any of the herbs or medications you consumed were wearing off. Your body wanted to give up as it weakened at the loss of blood.

Childbirth is no joke, having high mortality rates during these times. It was a tempting choice you’d want to take as Doyoung is no longer alive. But you knew it was selfish to leave your child as an orphan.

Doyoung couldn’t withstand watching you struggle anymore. If there was a trick Manwol taught him, it was to possess people. It’s often portrayed as a negative skill, warning him to only use it when it’s an emergency.

The pitiful way your eyes were drained off energy, he had to step in. Observing the midwife panicking on your side even if she was giving you support, he took his chance to possess her. Adjusting to this body, it made him glad to feel your warm hand again.

“(Y/N), your child is almost here.” The doctor positively announced.

“I want a breather. The grim reaper should just take me.” You complained as your mother wiped the endless drops of sweat on your forehead. Doyoung took it to heart, knowing death firsthand was no joke.

“Yah, don’t say stuff like that, (Y/N). This child is bound to be an amazing addition to your life.”

You didn’t know how your timid midwife would straighten you up, but it motivated you a lot more to finish the process. Little did you know.

She gladly accepted your firm grips on her hand, giving affirmative responses to keep you going. In moments you closed your eyes to push, you couldn’t help notice in the corner of your eye how from the physique of your midwife, you swore you saw him. His hand holding yours instead of the midwife.

Was this in the medication? For a moment, you let a tear not from pain but from happiness to catch a glimpse of him in your weakest moment. Every day, you were missing him.

It took almost half an hour before a small set of wails bore in the room while you harshly threw yourself back in the bed to recover your breathing patterns. It knocked you out for a while. Doyoung, still possessing the midwife, was handed the newborn by the doctor and tasked to clean her up.

“It’s a healthy baby girl.” the doctor confirmed as he wiped away the blood on the floor.

He was then brought by your mother to a designated room to bathe the relaxed newborn in his arms.

His newborn.

His desire to phase out of the midwife and use his skill to be visible while holding his child was strong. But it’s too risky since the midwife can catch him. He sucked it up and proceeded in what the books taught him on bathing a baby. During his break time, he’d read all the parenting books he could find. It’ll be rare anyways for him to use the tips, but he always wanted to stay prepared.

As the bubbles of the soap surrounded the relaxed baby, he washed her delicately to avoid her from waking up. He was just mesmerized at how you and he created something so precious. He used to be the type of man to be awkward around kids, but after catering to many children in the library and now his child, it started to change.

“Hello there, little one. Your mother needs you, so you better be good to her.”

Ghosts were highly discouraged to make any more emotional connections with the living because they’ll just end up being hurt, making it harder to move on. Exactly what Doyoung is doing was that, and the more he bonded with his daughter, it was a rekindled kind of pain. The kind when you separate family from each other. The same one he felt when he bid his parents good-bye before joining the war, only to never come back.

To top this off, the tiny hand of his sleeping daughter, whom he finally dried off with a small towel and wrapped in a fresh blanket, sleepily grasped on his pinky finger. Technically, it was the midwife’s, but he was in control.

Nonetheless, the innocent gesture got him both feeling on top of the moon and disheartened at the same time. As he curled it in a silly manner, noticing the size difference, he leaned down to leave a kiss on top of her forehead.

“I’m sorry I’m going to miss out on your life. But I’ll always be here for you, even if I’m in the shadows. Don’t ever question my love for you. Because I do love you, wholeheartedly.”

Kim Areum.

That was the name you settled with when your daughter was finally in your arms. It’s ideal to give Doyoung’s last name too because she is half of him. After resting for quite a while, you noticed how the midwife suddenly shook her body and took a loud deep breath when she helped out cleaning the area up.

“Are you okay?” You question, noticing her state of confusion.

“Uhm, yeah....” She narrowed her eyes to her environment. “Oh wait, you gave birth already? Wow, that was pretty fast...”

“Yes, you were right beside me the whole time...” You glanced sideways at her, suspicious.

“Oh wow yeah, I was.” She tried to laugh it off. “It was like I had an out-of-this-world moment or something. Oh whatever, I sound stupid.”

That brought you back to your early doubts. Whether or not he showed up or you were somewhat hallucinating. But not wanting to reflect too much on the impossible, you merely refocused to the peaceful newborn nestled in your arms.

She’s the only one keeping you alive in these hard times. She served as a reminder of him, thus you’ll hold on to her. From the outside of your window, all Doyoung can do now is to continue watching from afar every once in a while.

1954

Not much has changed in the past few years. You were either reading or taking care of Areum. Your family was lucky enough to have good housing, but getting important necessities such as water and food was a constant struggle.

With the war leading to lots of souls in the inn, he had to fulfill his mandatory orders to prepare souls to move on. He was joyful to be of service to others like he was back in the day.

Though lately, it’s still unavoidable for him to ponder how exactly are you and his daughter are doing. Once Donghyuck and Taeil went ahead for the afterlife, the loneliness began to creep in. Then a while ago, Jeno introduced him to a new group of children today checking out the library. Caught in a deadly car accident on their way home from school, he pitied how such bright kids left the world too soon.

These factors sparked his longing, plus there was still something above that: it was your birthday soon. Much to his luck, Manwol just received a new gift from the deities that might be his biggest help in coping.

“A dream call?” Doyoung inquired once he was summoned by Manwol to the meeting room, sitting across her.

“Yes, a call to anyone from the living that you wish to talk to in their dreams. Though this can only be used once per visitor. The deities pitied those with loved ones who want to see them physically. Thus, they invented this.”

“What are you implying?”

“Doyoung, you know well how easy I can read people even through their fake smiles. You miss her very much.” Manwol replied, holding up the phone to his ear. “This is your chance, Doyoung. Even if you can’t see them, they will see you.”

The first dream started with you sitting at your old spot by the river, in a simple dress Doyoung bought for you on your last ever birthday celebration with him. The forest looked breathtaking as if it was still pre-war times again. The river was still clear of blood and pollution. It must be spring, the flowers above you on the tree were in full bloom.

The sound of bike wheels stopping to park in the grass and someone humming changed your point of interest. There was the only person in your mind who would do that. Jumping from your seated position, you looked behind the other side of the tree only to find him picking up flowers from the branches. He was tall, not having much difficulty getting them.

The way he looked so peaceful and well-rested. This beauty and peace of mind he radiated, it was unreal.

“Doyoung.”

He clenched on the phone with his hand, his concealed yearning to at least hear his name on your lips again urged a tear to go down his cheek.

“Happy birthday, (Y/N).”

He handed you the flower bouquet he made for you. Meanwhile, he suddenly dropped it when you didn’t hesitate to sling your arms around his waist. Your head pressed to his chest, pulling him closer you could care less if you lost your breath. Doyoung felt that tight hug, gripping on the part of his uniform where you placed your head. He rubbed it as if it was your hair.

None of you spoke a word and gracefully paused to take a moment.

Time in a dream call works a bit differently than in the living world. Once you’re in session, one minute alone of talking is equivalent to 30 minutes in the living world.

Doyoung took his first call to catch up with you and say everything he never got to before. It was also where he confessed how he knew about your daughter. There were guilt and regret at how you could’ve told him in your earlier letters.

“You were scared, (Y/N). There’s no way I can blame you.” Laying against his chest, he comforted you. “By the way, she has your nose, you know.”

There was this wave of relief that splashed you after this big burden lifted. You can live a more untroubled life now.

“She has your temper though.” You jokingly say, putting you in a fit of giggles. It’s been too long since you experienced genuine humor.

“At age 3? Yah, I’m impressed.” He remarked with pride.

Since Doyoung wasn’t capable to be physically affectionate in the dreams, he was more on receiving them from you. In return, he gave sincere conversations even if they were a yearly thing. Talking about your daughter was one of your favorite topics. adolescence, teenage years, to university, there was so much to talk about. Doyoung would only use his dream calls on you on your birthday, making them more meaningful. Each one, you were both back to your twenties with different outfits and settings based on the differing decades.

“Don’t you feel burdened to wait for me?” You asked as his fingers brushed some of your hair back while you watched the sunset from a wooden bench.

“No, I’m not. there are still many things I want to fulfill before moving on. I also want to watch Areum grow up and help you in any possible. Only when these goals of mine and others are cleared, then I‘ll be able to rest well.”

“Will you be okay until then, Doyoung?”

“I broke a promise with you, (Y/N). and I want to make up for it.”

“What will you do when my time comes?” Your hand interlocked with his, squeezing it tight even if he couldn’t reciprocate it.

“I will shout out your name and hug you tight, my love. But until then, appreciate your life. Live it to its fullest. For me.”

Doyoung sensed your worry but comforted you that it’ll be okay. He wasn’t lying either when he said he wanted to do a lot of things too. Every dream call, his gut feelings were strong to know what you were going through in every call, giving you any advice to get you through them.

To count, he gave you almost 50 dream calls.

The late 1950s-1960s

After returning to university to finish your undergraduate studies when the war ended, you continued to pursue law school and taking the exams as you’ve wanted. But this meant moving to Seoul for better opportunities.

Doyoung celebrated with himself when he found out, not having to take the bus or ride the hotel car to Busan every time he wanted to see you two. Now, he could simply walk back and forth, managing it with his shifts.

Currently, he was taking a break in his office. The deities gifted him with a bunch of murder mystery books from the West, fully immersed in the storylines. Leaning backward from his chair, he was abruptly disconnected by a knock on his open door.

“Hyung, you have a special visitor in the lobby.” Jeno urgently informed Doyoung as he leaned on the side of his office door, out of breath. “It’s quite important if you ask me.”

Doyoung removed his reading glasses and put down his novel. Putting back his blazer on, he approached his younger friend and made their way down the hallway together hastily.

“Is it a family member who’s passed?” He questioned, slightly folding his blazer sleeves then adjusting the hotel pin on his chest pocket. By the tone Jeno spoke, it must’ve been serious. Although there’s no way it can be you just yet, he has no idea who was looking for him then.

The lobby was bustling with numerous souls. Some still fresh, some just roaming around, while others were preparing to pass the other side. Nothing new to it, until Jeno pointed out a specific scene in one corner of the room.

“Hyung, over there.”

Like an obedient puppy, Doyoung looked over to where Jeno’s finger directed. At first glance, by her long black hair, he recognized Manwol, who was kneeling in front of someone seated. It wasn’t until she stood up and shifted her body to the side to reveal that someone, patting her young head kindly.

She wore a ribbon on her hair, matching with the colors of her floral dress while carefully holding on to a piece of paper with her drawing. Due to the distance, he couldn’t make out what she drew. Though with her dazzling eye smile formed by her small eyes, he knew her too well.

“Areum.”

Right on cue, the young girl caught his entrancing gaze. With the widest smile, she exclaimed “Daddy!”

Manwol, who was right beside her, held her hand and graced their way to Doyoung and Jeno. The two knew she despised children, ordering them to keep a keener eye on them when they wander around so they don’t access the hallway leading to her office. Unexpectedly, Areum didn’t burden her the slightest. She brought a different aura, a very pure and full of love kind.

With the full moon shining at its peak, becoming present to the eyes of the living, she must’ve spotted the hotel from afar and her interest grew wild for it. Typical for girls her age. Not afraid of the risks, she followed any directions to get here. Coincidentally, she encountered Manwol in the front gate.

Manwol recognized her straight away, even when she glimpsed the drawing of her family she treasured in her chest. She still included her father, whom she was very much acquainted with. Though, she was puzzled by her sudden appearance. When Areum explained that her father lived in the hotel according to your stories, her heart fell to her gut. Indeed, she was right, but again, ghosts are discouraged to have connections with the living or anything related to it. However, her strong senses couldn’t disregard how much Doyoung yearned for his family. Lately, his only daughter when numerous children arrived at the hotel. He didn’t want to voice it out however because the other staff shared the same sentiments, so it would be insensitive so he just kept it to himself. But Manwol sensed it all too well.

She won’t tell anyone this, but she has quite a soft spot for Doyoung. She empathized with him the most since he came to the hotel, willing to do what it takes to make his coping and waiting worthwhile. She was still brash at times, but only when necessary.

Areum’s presence didn’t seem to harm anyone, charming anyone around with a smile and her words. Especially that smile, it shows enough of how much she’s Doyoung’s daughter. With a rough internal debate, Manwol welcomed her inside the magical hotel Areum described it as and tasked Jeno to call for Doyoung. It was a risk, but a needed one.

With Manwol innocently holding the young girl’s hand, she looked her down and asked her, “Is that your father from your drawing, Areum?”

Areum lit up as she tilted her head upwards to see her tall father, nodding proudly. “Yes, that’s him! The one my mom talks about in her dreams too!”

Doyoung’s heart swelled at her pride for him, not hesitating to kneel to her height. Arms wide open, he loudly called her out for the first time. “Areum!”

The young girl, letting go of Manwol’s hand, ran as fast as her short legs could like nothing can stop her, even if the lobby was packed. Soon enough, she’s at the grasp of her father, carrying and hugging her in circles. Light as a feather, he took in her scent and warmth. The racing beat of her heart pulsated against his chest, reminding how much life she’s filled with. It was liberating that she found him, even when he stood behind the dark shadows.

Once he put her back down, “What brings you here, Areum? Isn’t it past your bedtime already?”

She pouted, sulking at disobeying your rules. “I know, but as soon as I was ready for bed, I saw the hotel in bright lights just like mommy described. She said that only during the peak full moon it’ll be shown to very special people who are alive, and it turns out that I’m one of them, daddy.”

Hearing that title from her lips was something he would’ve never get sick of. He felt the validity more than ever.

The odds of being a human spotting the hotel during peak full moon was rare, earning perplexed looks by those who don’t see it. Doyoung never encountered a human waltzing in the hotel out of the bloom, so for his daughter to have this mystical ability was a gift in disguise. Maybe the deities knew how to cut off some slack and agony for wandering souls. This was an excuse to stop cursing them now and then.

“Wow, aren’t you a lucky girl for that?” Jeno, whom he forgot was by his side, patted her head similarly to Manwol. “Your father missed you dearly, you know?”

“Well, Mr. Jeno,” She picked up his name from his nametag. “I missed him too.”

Doyoung processed the features of the angelic girl in front of him, astonished at how you and he created someone so cheerful during a time of trouble. Aside from her eye smile, she had his gummy smile and curiosity, while she inherited your nose and intelligence. Cupping her chubby cheek, he pinched it with a cute sound effect from his mouth.

“Daddy!” She protested, slapping his hand away and dramatically covered her reddening cheek. “Not allowed to that, ever.”

Oh, you weren’t joking when you said she had his temper too.

Before he could defend himself, Manwol reentered their interaction. Like common sense, Doyoung got back on his feet but helplessly giving side glances to his daughter. Manwol giggled at his sudden formality before instructing Jeno to lead Areum to the carnival room. As Areum waves him goodbye for the meantime, Manwol added on.

“There’s a rise of kids checking in the hotel, unfortunately, so I wholeheartedly requested the deities to create an area dedicated for child-like fun. Just today, it’s finished in construction so it’s a great place for Areum to explore.”

“Manwol, I-” He was feeling overwhelmed, stumbling his words. “Why did you this for me?”

“You used your dream calls for (Y/N), but there’s never been a way for you to reach out to your daughter. And the way her glimmering eyes wanted to come in when she shouldn’t, I couldn’t refuse a chance for the two to reunite.”

“But what about the deities?”

“I’ll handle it. What matters is that you have tonight to spend with Areum. It’s the least thing I could do as you are one of my beloved staff,” She reassured, yet looked at him in a downcast manner. “But as much as possible, everything tonight must feel like a vivid dream to her. She’s not allowed to keep any knick-knacks from tonight either.”

Everything always came at a price. Doyoung was acquainted well enough, but he can’t lie to say that I didn’t ache. Nonetheless, Manwol having such a selfless side was completely new to him. That’s why he never asked for favors like the other staff since he’ll just get turned down or scolded like a child. Maybe she wasn’t as scary as to how they labeled her all these years he’s worked for her.

Manwol took Doyoung’s silence under the impression of internal conflict. In true Manwol fashion, she clapped her hands right in front of his visage, snatching him back to reality. “You’re wasting time, Doyoung! Don’t think about it too much right now. Now come on and dress up more casually, your daughter is waiting for you.”

Following her order, he bowed respectfully before zooming to his hotel room. She was right, he has to enjoy whatever is given. Demanding for more when you’re already dead is disrespectful to the eyes of the deities, considering that alongside your past life when you step into the afterlife.

From his uniform, he changed into a white long sleeve buttoned-up, which was layered under a lilac knit sweater, and black trousers. He styled his hair in a dandier way, applying gel then combing it upwards. He was only following the trends of the decade, basing it on the recently checked-in souls. Deities must’ve liked him a lot to give him a lot of gifts from time to time, making him completely disregard the money from the living world Manwol gives during his off days. Most of the time, his off days are spent either secretly observing you and your daughter, or reading more books in the library.

This one was like a change of scenery, his heart pumping once he exited to the elevator and rushed to the carnival room. And just as he entered the doors, the wave of nostalgia hit him instantaneously. It felt like he was in university again, bringing you around the bizarre contraptions and games for the first time for your amusement. A spark in your romance, so full of young love and naivety of what was to come.

He spotted his young girl wrapped around in the arms of Jeno, explaining to her about the wide range of rides as she licked on a rainbow lollipop. Once he showed up to the both of them, Jeno cautiously put her down so she can hold Doyoung’s hand.

“You deserve this, hyung. Make it worthwhile.” Jeno placed his hand on his older friend’s shoulder before leaving the room. Keeping it in mind, Doyoung kneeled again in front of his daughter. Her smiles were contagious, fascinated by everything she’s surrounded in.

“I’ve never seen anything like this, daddy.” That line sounded familiar, chuckling at the precious memory.

“Come on, sweetheart. Let’s have fun tonight!”

The bliss in tonight was never-ending, like the two of them were in their own world. Areum wanted to ride on a horse in a carousel first, which Doyoung agreed to. Lifting her, he held her by the waist as the ride started to go. She pointed out every object that she can see while Doyoung avidly listened, then telling her what each ride and game consists of in return.

Once they got off, her short legs scurried off to the game booth where rows of bottles were laid in front of her. Right beside her were the rings. Doyoung properly described the instructions, and on the dot, Areum went ham and started throwing the rings in random directions. By the way, her eyebrows furrowed and her lips pursed, her competitive side was evident. Doyoung observed as she either hit or miss, finding another trait of his in her.

You’d find it hard to believe, but she would’ve been a total daddy’s girl.

To her success, she squealed victoriously as she won and hugged her dad. One of the staff in charge rewarded her with new candy to munch on, and off she went to look for the next attraction to divulge in. Doyoung struggled a little catching up to her, but anything he would do for his daughter.

From a one on one balloon dart game, which Doyoung willingly let Areum won because she’s a fussy one, roaming through a mini house of mirrors, riding the indoor Ferris wheel, and many more, Areum was ready to move to the next venue after telling her father that she wanted him to read to her.

“Mommy said you’re a librarian here because you like reading. I like it too, can you take me there?”

Just like you, he was charmed by his daughter. “Alright, Areum. Let’s go there then.”

Before they made it through past the wide doors with the bright red sign above saying “Exit”, Areum’s attention was distracted by a black kiosk near the Ferris wheel. She followed her gut, changing her direction. Doyoung quickly followed her footsteps, only to turn up in front of a photo booth.

“Wow, are these where you can take instant pictures, daddy?”

Waves of nostalgia hit Doyoung as if he were on the beach, totally unprepared for the emotional impact. With Areum, he missed your presence more than ever. Having you there completed your family, and it could’ve been quite a reunion.

“Yes, Areum. How about you go inside and daddy will insert some coins so you can have your pictures taken?”

“But daddy, I want to take pictures with you! It’s only mommy that has pictures with you, and I don’t want to feel left out.” She threw a tantrum, crossing her arms.

Here she goes again, making it difficult for Doyoung to refuse. Even with Manwol only giving him one rule to follow for the night, he doesn’t want any bad memories to be made with his daughter. He’ll have to work it out one way or another later. In the meantime, he smirked before carried her out of the blue inside the booth. Her shrieks increased in volume, only softening after she settled on her father’s lap. Doyoung inserts a few coins, and swiftly enough, the contraption started to operate.

“Okay Areum, one photo strip has 4 solo photos in it. 4 smiles or poses, okay? You’re going to look at the lens there, in the shape of a circle. Then, the flash is going to show in 3, 2-” Right on time, the two smiled.

They had less than 10 seconds until the second shot, so the two pulled random funny expressions. Doyoung pouted his lips, while Areum stuck out her tongue. For the third photo, Doyoung kissed the top of her head while Areum poked her cheeks with her fingers. Lastly, Areum instructed her father to lower his head to her level so she can peck his cheek. His shock was perfectly taken, filling his heart with adoration.

Areum hating getting affection but loves giving it? Another trait of his.

The look of amazement Areum gave once she stepped foot on the endless library was priceless. She described how it was bigger than the national library in Seoul. While she strolled around the near shelves, Jeno, taking over his night shift, approached him with a bottled treat. But it wasn’t just a normal one.

“Manwol and I overheard that she liked strawberry milk, so Manwol told me to give it to you. It has the dream spell potion from Johnny’s bar mixed with flowers from the deities so she can’t see ghosts or the hotel anymore. Make sure she drinks it before she leaves this place.”

While Areum settles on the small couch with her chosen books, she patiently anticipated for her father to read to her before her yawning takes over her. She never tracked the time, but she’s gone way beyond her average curfew.

“Sleepy already, sweetheart?” Doyoung asked as he sat beside her, inspecting her drowsy state.

Areum shook her head, displaying all the books she got on the table in front of her. “Nope! Not until you read me a bedtime story.”

Doyoung scanned through her book selection, amazed by her choices. The Little Prince, Winnie the Pooh, Goodnight Moon, and a bunch of Madeline books from the series, he couldn’t decide! If only he could read them all for her.

A lot of those books he read growing up, and the same goes for you. Especially Madeline, which he discovered through you as one of your childhood favorites. By instinct, he chose the first book from the series, simply entitled “Madeline”.

“This one.” He patted his lap so she could sit on it, which she did without wasting a breath.

It was ironic for a librarian to have never read aloud for anyone during his stay. Maybe because no one asked him to nor he wasn’t into reading aloud. He preferred reading to himself, only helping those looking for specific books or recommending if anyone has a favorite genre. Maybe he’ll give it a shot now. This first-hand experience opened his eyes to a new type of intimacy, hearing the adorable reactions from his daughter as he read the life of Madeline in Paris.

“In the middle of one night, Miss Clavel turned on her light and said, “Something is not right!”.” Doyoung flipped the next page. “Little Madeline sat in bed, cried and cried-”

“She cried to get attention, huh?” Areum commented mid-reading.

“Areum, if she didn’t, she could get even sicker. We don’t want that, right?”

“If I cried like that, would that be enough to bring you back to me and mommy, daddy?” She wholesomely questioned, twisting her body weight so she could face him. “Mommy already has a way to reach to you, and I want something like that too”

Doyoung knew she was a smart girl, but she often denies the reality of some things. In this case, her father’s passing still hasn’t hit her, even if she possessed the mystical skill to see ghosts and the hotel. Doyoung felt cornered, so before he could think of a reply, he kindly asks her,

“Hmm, what do you have in mind, sweetheart?”

“Well,” She pouted as she fidgeted with her index fingers. “I read all your old letters to mommy, so maybe I can write you one every year.”

“What a great idea, sweetheart!” He cheered. “How will you give it?”

“Uh..” She paused to think, then a bright idea came to her. “During your birthday, daddy! Mommy and I still celebrate it if you don’t know, so I can offer it alongside the food.”

Doyoung played along, knowing that tradition of yours. Although it still aches him to show up on his death anniversary, he compromised by showing up on his birthday. He’d see his and your families celebrating, talking about the positive and fun things about him in his life. He observed his daughter a little more later when she got older and started talking. Whenever you praised him for something, there was hope and inspiration in her young eyes. It’s uplifting to discover that his legacy was seen in a good light. He’d never wanted to be seen as a bad guy to anyone.

“I’ll look forward to it, sweetheart. Promise?” He stuck out his pinky to her, getting curled in response by hers.

“Promise!”

Both of them chuckled, appreciating the moment. His long arms embraced her from the back, nuzzling his head on his shoulder. How blessed to have a daughter like her, but from a glance, the bottle of strawberry milk situated beside the pile of books gave a remembrance of one of his remaining tasks. It had to be done, but he hoped she won’t at least forget to write to him.

“Look! Miss Manwol wanted to give this to you.” He handed it to her.

Ecstatic, she cranked open the bottle cap and took tiny sips of it. “It’s so good, daddy!”

Doyoung softly laughed as excess milk drops dribbled in her lips, wiping it with his thumb. “Aigoo, you messy girl. Let’s continue, shall we?”

Cozying up to him again, Doyoung resumed his storytelling. Once he said the words, “The end.”, the small head of his daughter completely leaned against his chest. Snuggling for more comfort, he checked her current condition. Knocked out like a light, he puts the book down and cradled her for a second. The last time he did something like this was when she was born. She was tiny then, and now, she’s bound to outgrow his lap sooner or later.

This was his sign to bring her home.

He boosted her small figure, her head now planted on his shoulder and his hand resting behind the nape of her neck. Her legs were entangled in his torso when he showed up at the lobby again. It was much more serene, everyone checked in already.

“Aigoo, fast asleep already?” Manwol made an appearance without warning, alongside her personal driver Yuta and the bartender Johnny.

“As expected from my magic.” Johnny commended himself, stretching his fingers. That easily gave him a slap from Yuta.

“Can’t you be more sensitive to Doyoung?”

Not caring about those two, Manwol caressed Areum from behind. Inside her cold heart, she brought so much amusement. Even if she embodied traits from Doyoung, she stood out from his usual reserved nature. She had so much energy, and it’s a fresh sight. Manwol secretly peered at their father-daughter time in the library, and she sensed the love the two had for each other. Even if it’s unbearable to separate them, having tonight was a pleasure for all.

“Yuta,” She summoned him. “Drop these two to her house safe and sound. It’s too dangerous to walk in the dark right now.”

Bowing in response, he led the way to the elevator for Doyoung to follow. But before he took the first step, Manwol halted him by the arm. “You better come back, or the deities won’t be pleased.”

He nodded before he was sent on his way. Wasn’t this brutal?

The silence in the car ride is deafening, though he didn’t want to disturb his little girl either. Yuta peeked from the mirror now and then to check on the two, sharing the gloom of his fellow friend. Having something or someone so valuable from the living world makes it hard to leave it. He understood as he suffered a similar fate to him.

When they’ve arrived at their destination, Doyoung was quick to notice that the lights from your living room were still on. It’s too risky to waltz in through the front door, squinting for other ways to go inside. To his luck, the window of Areum’s bedroom was wide open. That must’ve been how she escaped earlier.

“Be careful, Doyoung. Her neighbors may be watching.”

“It’s around 4 am right now, Yuta. I’ll be fine.” He reassured, clicking open the car door with his daughter peacefully asleep.

Entering inside her bedroom, he gently put her down on her soft bed. Covering her body with the duvet so she wouldn’t get cold, he took one last lingering look before taking his leave. Manwol might be looking for him already. Pressuring even to know that Yuta was waiting outside for him and that the deities are looking down on him too.

“Daddy,” Her tiny hand tugged on his sleeve, stopping his movements. Her droopy eyes faintly ajar, wanting to capture these last dreamy moments. “Don’t leave me and mommy again.”

This retouched attachment between the two made things much more stifling to accept reality. Doyoung understood her fright and sighed, kneeling to her again. Patting her head, “I’m sorry but I have no choice, sweetheart. We don’t want daddy to get in trouble, right?”

She lazily nods, tugging on his sleeve again. “Can you sing me to sleep, daddy? You used to do that for mommy.”

He grinned, accepted her last request. Holding on her hand, kissing it, he quietly sings.

“Eonjebuteoinji geudaereul bomyeon….”

When the song reached its end, the soft snores from Areum filled his eardrums. Her eyes are fully closed, and her tiny head fell to the side of her pillow. Kissing her forehead, he whispered, “Good night, sweetheart. Daddy loves you so much.”

A cute sight to Doyoung, she occupied a huge part in his heart. Even if everything tonight will feel like a complete dream, it’s a memorable moment for Doyoung that he’ll treasure.

Initially, he planned to leave her bedroom the same way he came in, which was through her window. That’s all Manwol tasked him to do when he arrives at your house, but his heart selfishly desires to see you. Even if he was invisible now. His powers were weakening, twitching from being visible to invisible back and forth.

Never has he stepped inside your new house, and this could be his only chance.

The first thing he saw after leaving his daughter’s bedroom was the dining room. Tidy and organized, as expected from you. For the living room connected to it, the simple decorations invited him inside. Assorted photos hung in the wall and by the table near the front door, with a fresh bouquet of asters in a vase there too.

Alluring as it is, the only thing Doyoung couldn’t keep his eyes off the most was a sleeping you in pajamas, hunched over the coffee table on top of books and numerous paperwork. An empty coffee glass neared the edge, so he caught it before you squirmed again from your sleep.

The exhaustion from your life was constantly piled up one after the other. You’ve been studying hard at law school, balancing it with a part-time job as a teacher’s assistant at your university for undergrads and being a mom to Areum. Even seeing the pile of bills right by your side, you didn’t just need the help of your families. You needed him, as a friend, lover, and father.

Men were still viewed as the main breadwinners of the family, but you juggled both positions as mother and father. It was a vicious fate, and he’d do anything to share that challenge with you. For now, the only thing he could do is bring you to bed at least.

Taking you into his arms bridal style, completely knocked out, he only assumed the remaining door in front of Areum’s bedroom was your bedroom. Carefully kicking it, he graced your bed and laid you down elegantly so your sleeping flow won’t be disturbed. He put the covers on top of your body so you’d feel comfier.

Right in front of your bedside was a breezy open window, the moonlight creeping in to highlight your sleeping face. The wrinkles on your forehead started to show, a side effect of immense stress. It’s a trait no one wants, yet it symbolized aging and moving forward to the future. Doyoung envied you for it.

Besides that, you looked youthful as ever, seeking internal peace from the outside world in your deep slumber. His index traced the outline of your face, appreciating your glow. Trapped in amazement, leaving you will be more difficult. It’s been a while since he saw you up close in the flesh, but Manwol’s words daunted his mind. Just like his daughter, his lips softly pecked your forehead and to your ear, he said in a hushed tone, “Good night, my love. I’m so proud of you.”

Getting back on his knees to exit, he’s convinced that you and your daughter can detect a leaving presence and catch it before they do. On cue, your hand unconsciously grabbed his wrist. Your mind couldn’t make up what mental state you were in, but something in you vibed a known presence. One that you’ve yearned, one that you struggle to wait and see until your birthday arrives. Is he actually here?

Doyoung reacted immediately, his feet shuffling to face you again. Eyes still shut close, but your lips released a satisfied moan as you stretched your arms slightly.

“Is it my birthday already?” You mumbled incoherently, gripping on the unknown wrist. “Or am I just lucky enough to get a free pass?”

He rolled his eyes at your nonsense. “If this was a free pass, what would you want me to do?”

You weakly took a peek. It was blurry, probably caused by your sleepiness. But you recognized the silhouette of this stranger from the back of your hand. You clutched his grip, bringing his face closer to yours. Doyoung didn’t expect such a jerking action, almost falling limp if his other free hand didn’t grip on your duvet.

“Kiss me before you go again, my love.” You requested, mindlessly craving his touch.

Loosening from your grip, his palm cupped your cheek as he wets his lips. He made the first move, sweetly and slowly. Even at your unknown state, you returned with the same level of passion, brushing the hair behind the nape of his neck to deepen it. You haven’t kissed anyone like this in a very long time, too busy with your studies and motherhood. This refreshed your memories of what you missed, a warm tear escaping your eye.

No one will ever match up to him.

Doyoung’s deprivation of physical touch for you amplified, eagerness for so much more than this. Touching himself to the thought of you grew tiring, wanting to have you in the flesh by his side. It wasn’t until a bright car light from outside shun by your window. Yuta was an impatient one, but he had every right to be.

It was fulfilling while it lasted. His heart throbbed when his lips parted from yours, opening his eyes again. Your eyes stayed closed, but your lips hummed in satisfaction.

“Nothing changed in the way you kiss, my love.” You complimented, succumbing back to your deep slumber by pulling yourself further inside the duvet.

Doyoung grinned at your words, kissing your knuckle one last time. “I meant what I said, (Y/N). Sleep well.”

He tiptoed out your bedroom, deciding to exit through the front door. Again, no one would be awake at this time anyway. However, an antique-looking photo of him caught his eye. Taking a closer look, it was you and him by his garden, clutching on his arm under their family lemon tree and smiling during pre-war times. It was a funny story actually.

His father bought a camera for the first time and wanted to test it out. You were over at their house that day to study, and his father insisted to take a photo of the two of you as a first try.

“Oh come on, we must commemorate this new contraption! The first people can be titled “Young Love” or something like that!”

Doyoung cringed, whining, “Dad, that’s so corny!”

“I don’t care. Now hurry, join the frame with (Y/N) and smile!”

His father may present himself as strict and stubborn as one of the most affluent men in Korean society even after the war, but behind the scenes, he knows how to entertain his children. Doyoung’s childhood never had a dull moment. Oh, how wished he could follow the same fate as him.

This happy photo was a golden treasure to you, framing it so it could be preserved. It was one of your last traces of him, aside from Areum. Next to it, a much smaller photo of you and Areum was placed. Also all smiles for the two of you, Areum firmly sat on your lap and clasping her hands above her dress. You cut your hair during that time, showing the dog tag necklace that once belonged to him on your neck. You were really devoted to him, and he’s grateful, to say the least.

He knew he shouldn’t take anything either before going back to the hotel, but there was just no way he can’t take this one photo of his favorite girls with him. He already kept his photo strip of him and Areum from the carnival in his back pocket, so he’ll just have to work out the consequences then.

Returning to the car was bittersweet. He took one more proper look at your home, taking in all the positive energy to have such a loving family even if he can only watch from afar. While Yuta revved the car on, Doyoung deeply sighed from the backseat. What a spontaneous evening.

“I’m guessing you didn’t resist seeing your lover either, Doyoung?” Yuta commented, viewing him from the mirror. Raising his brows playfully, “Got caught in the VIP seat of you two lip-locking.”

“First of all, that’s creepy, Yuta. Second, you most definitely know what it feels like to be separated from your lover. Cut me some slack.”

“Whatever, that’s not my business anyway. But good luck to you if Manwol asked why there was a sudden extension.” The older friend shrugged, his foot pressing on the pedal to drive off the area.

“Keyword is if she asks. Now please, drive faster, Yuta. I have a shift to fill in now.”

Last night was a gift, but also an aching reminder of what could’ve been if he never died. The sun is slowly making its appearance again, bringing in another morning in this reality. Another work day for Doyoung, more waiting to be done.

Yet recalling his bonding moments with Areum, he’ll most likely get through another few decades. He yanked out his photo strip from the back pocket of his trousers, gazing at their authentic happiness. He muttered to himself,

“I’ll see you and your mother again, and we’ll all celebrate and rejoice. ‘Til then, my sweetheart.”

Meanwhile, ever since that peculiar “dream” with Doyoung, it left you with a lot of questions. Perhaps, it’s all just in your head. Though it doesn’t quite answer how one of your beloved pictures went missing. That’s definitely something you’re going to ask if your birthday comes up again.

Moving forward, his kind words pushed you to do your best. In the next years, you first became a family lawyer for a few years to get used to the field, but permanently shifted to being a public attorney because you wanted to be able to represent those who are suffering the most yet can’t afford the legal help to avoid it.

Just like what you and Doyoung aspired.

Balancing that with a kid was overwhelming, but with your and Doyoung’s families helping you out, your stress lessened.

You served as a huge inspiration to female college students wanting to pursue law. Since law is still perceived as a male-dominated field, you constantly pushed to make space for women in that workforce. It was also rare of you to lose a case because of the hard work you put into disproving every loophole and suggesting the correct punishments for the wrongdoers.

“You really outdid yourself once again, (Y/N). Or should I say Attorney (Y/L/N) (Y/N).”

“Shut up, Doyoung. Tell me more about your hotel staff friends. That Johnny guy seems very fun, and Jeno seems like a lovely boy.”

“Johnny’s a playful lad, always the life of the party. Jeno is like the younger brother I really wish I had. Donghyun-hyung is okay and all, but he’s so high maintenance.”

“Shush! He’s doing fantastic right now. He pursued acting like he always wanted.”

“He deserves it because he’s hard-working, like yourself, Attorney.”

You’ve never fallen in love the same way you did for Doyoung. Though you won’t lie that you’ve slept with a few men during nights out with your co-workers, committing to another man was something you had no time for. You always envisioned Doyoung as the one fucking you senseless.

People viewed it as stupid to be still lovestruck over your dead lover, but you’ve been called worst insults in your life that it doesn’t sting that much anymore. At the end of the day, your heart still soared and longed for Doyoung.

You just can never let him go.

“It’s still unfair to you, Doyoung. I should be ashamed.” The two of you were at a drive-in theater, watching from the trunk of his pickup truck. Your back laid against his chest as his fingers roam your torso in an upwards motion.

“No, you shouldn’t, (Y/N). It’s natural to desire human affection. I’m the one who should be sorry for not giving it to you.”He replied, completely ignoring the film.

You scoffed jokingly. “It’s silly how we’re so deprived of sex, especially with each other.”

“Oh, (Y/N). Don’t get me started, I’m suffering here with my hand alone while you can just find any available man.”

“Alright, alright, I’m sorry.” You surrendered, directing your head from the front to the back. “At the end of the day, it’s still your touch that still gets me weak.”

“My dear, on the day we reunite, brace yourself. I’ll show you who you really belong to.”

1973

Doyoung’s been on duty with reading books to children lately, and again, he’s aching to see what Areum’s up to. Rereading past letters from her from his birthday celebrations were driving him wild. After helping one young girl look for more books under the Madeline series, he had to make an exception. Just this once, and that would be it.

Even if he was under disguise, he desperately wanted to have just another brief conversation with her, especially that she’s a lot older compared to their last encounter. Doyoung witnessed her bloom from this imaginative young girl to a strong woman chasing after her dreams.

Like mother, like daughter.

He spotted her at a small bookstore to buy books for her classes and newly arrived ones from the States, very much interested in western literature. But upon seeing the peaked prices which were more than what she saved for, she put the book back on the shelf and gathered the ones she actually needed.

This was where Doyoung took it upon himself to offer his help. Staying long enough in the middle of the living and the dead, he was capable to turn visible.

“Stephen King, huh?” He inquired, scooting to her side and pulling out the book again to take a better look at it. He came across this book in his library, even if it was in English. “I see that you’re into horror. These books are in English though.”

Areum knew speaking to strangers is not a good thing, but if anyone reached out to her to talk about books, she can’t help but feel excited. “I’m interested in a lot of genres, and this book is pretty popular right now so I wanted to check it out. Besides, I’m reading more English books so I can become fluent one day.”

“You aren’t scared of the storylines?”

“I went through a life of hardships, sir. Nothing scares me anymore honestly.” Doyoung couldn’t help feel proud and sorry for her. Without questions, he led her to the counter and paid for all books despite her insisting not to.

“Sir, you really shouldn’t have. I can always come back for those books when I save up more.”

“It’s fine, really. With your taste in literature, you have a promising future as an author if that’s what you’re aiming for.” He complimented. Areum was frazzled at how spot on this stranger was, trying to convince him again.

“Are you sure I shouldn’t pay you back?”

“Pay me back by publishing your books.” He confidently stated, bringing out his wallet to pay the cashier. His astonishing kindness and encouragement for her are heartwarming, bowing with gratitude.

“Thank you,” She halted because she didn’t know his name.

There was no way Doyoung can disclose his actual name, so he just picked a random nickname some of the kids in the hotel who he read to coined for him. “I prefer giving people my nickname. It’s tokki.”

“Thank you, tokki. I’m Areum, Kim Areum.” She thanked him properly, struggling from carrying her things to shake his hand, but Doyoung signaled her not to.

“Nice to meet you, Areum.” He greeted back.

As Areum was more ready to part ways, Doyoung’s fatherly instincts activated due to the heavy box she held. Her dorms must be a bit far and it was already nighttime. Anything can happen.

“Excuse me, Areum. But do you mind if I help you with your books? It’s pretty late, so I just want to make you get back safe.”

Something in Areum was very willing to trust this man she just met. Sure, he was quite covered up, but it’s almost winter and maybe he didn’t want to catch a cold. Though, his intentions looked good. She’s heard stories about people getting robbed in these alleys, so she accepted his help.

Her dorms were a few blocks away, giving enough time to be acquainted with this man. Though he was the one mostly asking the questions and she answered them. She didn’t pry on it too much and went with the flow.

“Are you an only child in your family?”

“Yes. It’s also just me and my mom. I never got to meet my dad sadly. He died before I was born while battling in the Korean war.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.” No matter how long it’s been since the war, the trauma of it all still haunted Doyoung.

“It’s been years so it’s fine. I found out recently that he risked his life to save his senior officer during a surprise attack from one of my uncles. If that isn’t bravery, I don’t know what is.”

“So you’re not mad at him for leaving?” He asked, hoping he didn’t cross boundaries either. He needed this closure.

“It was hard to accept at first. All my friends grew up with their actual fathers, and I felt outcasted. But there are just some things we can’t control, you know?  Besides, people always spoke of him highly and that makes me proud. Though,” She answered honestly, covering up the bitterness in her words in other not to disrespect him. “I’m pretty sure I saw him in a dream when I was younger.”

Doyoung’s heart leaped. So she may recall quite a bit. “Oh really? What was it like?”

“The only person I told this to is my mom. It felt quite unreal, honestly. I was around 7-8 years old at that time, and we were at a carnival, enjoying the attractions and stuff. Then we transitioned to this huge library where he read me a bunch of stories. One of them was Madeline, I believe. One of my favorites!”

Doyoung replays the fond memory in his mind. Time really flew by so fast.

“What a fun dream, it seems to be.”

Areum was elated at the best memory of her youth, smiling to herself. “It truly was. It felt like I was with him, you know. No matter how many times he told me he loved me there, I still respond the same way and that nothing has changed.”

“I love you too, Areum.” He mumbled quietly. That dream should not have been the only memory they have of each other. Neither of them deserved to be parted.

Soon enough, they arrived at the front doors of her dorm residence. Since it was strictly for women, she explained that she’ll carry the box from here on.

“Thanks again for the help, tokki. I’ll make sure to pay you back soon.” She spoke so casually because, for some reason, this mysterious man felt trustworthy. Her gut feeling may fool her, but she let it pass.

“Take your time, Areum. I wish you the best of luck.”

Before they went separate ways, something about her bitter words from awhile ago bothered Doyoung and he wanted to say something about it. Because looking into the far future, if he didn’t, he knew he’ll regret it and make moving on harder.

“Wait, Areum!”

Areum abruptly reacted to the shouts of her name, almost dropping the box. She faced again the mysterious tokki, who now had an awkward stance with his hand in the air waving at you.

“Yes, tokki?”

Compiling his thoughts, here goes nothing.

“This is quite random but your dad... I just know he loves you too. He’s also proud of you for being strong and intelligent. I hope you don’t forget that.”

Areum was baffled by his statement, but it was uplifting to hear that. Maybe this tokki guy was going through the same thing as her, so she didn’t want to judge too quickly. She was taught to never judge a book by its cover from you. By the quick blinking of her eyes, some tears dropped down to her cheek. She let out some sniffles on her way up to her dorm room, reassured that this stranger may just be correct. She heard what she needed to hear.

It’s been a long time since he reunited with his daughter, even if she’s fooled into thinking that the dream was just a dream. His status as a father was renewed. Even if he got a major scolding from Manwol upon his return at the hotel for ditching his shift.

“She blamed you in public? Oh no, my love.” You consoled your lover after he told you the tale.

A lot of iconic songs were released during this decade, so this dream accommodated it. It was set in a jazz bar, where all sorts of alcohol on display with assorted vinyl CDs by the platform at the end. Dimly lit with numerous empty tables and chairs, and it was only the two of you. Dressed to the nines for the occasion, your flimsy hands couldn’t stop playing with your hoop earrings. A definite staple while you swayed your hips to the beat of Superstition by Stevie Wonder.

Doyoung sat in one of the bar stools in a red v-neck top and flare pants, marveling at your physique and movements in that indigo romper. You could feel his fiery stare, your body flowing through the groove to capture him into your spell. The dream version of him always gets easily distracted when you act suggestive, especially when he isn’t in control physically. Only his words can he sort out.

Dancing towards him, you dragged his arms away from his seated position to lead him to the empty dance floor.

“Let’s dance off the stress, shall we?”

Pulling off the famous dance moves and grooving in freestyle, it was a blast. Both your young energies were in sync. From the funky beat, it shuffled into a slower yet soulful song. The unwinding mood could only mean that this dream was reaching its end. You took Doyoung’s arms again, placing one on your waist and the other interlocked with you. Taking the lead, you waltzed back and forth, twirling yourself in his arms.

Doyoung cracked a smile from the phone and in the dream, immersing himself in the lovely song. It was always played on the radio during the late-night shows, dedicated for the couples out there. With you, he could finally understand why couples request it every night.

“You are the sunshine of my life,” He sang along while feeling your heartbeat against his chest. “That's why I'll always stay around.”

“You are the apple of my eye,” You carried from where he left off, equally resonating with the lyrics. No matter how many times you’ve said or expressed your patience for each other, this song held a special place. It summed up everything you’re both fighting for.

“Forever, you'll stay in my heart.”

1980s

It came to Doyoung’s attention that there’s a new member of the hotel staff, and Manwol put him in charge of touring this new addition around and orienting them about the hotel rules. Considering he wasn’t busy, he went for it.

This person would be the replacement of Johnny, who finally passed through the afterlife in high spirits after his younger brother Mark took his rightful place as the heir of their family business. Originally, it was him, but his stepmother and stepbrother stabbed him alongside his father to get ahold of the power. Without proof, they led the business as she freely did, overworking Mark numerously and spending their money to their heart’s desire.

Doyoung couldn’t let this pass. Since Manwol hired a human manager back in the ‘70s named Kun to better facilitate human-related affairs for the hotel (taxes, bills, etc), he requested him to talk to Mark then introduce him to you.

Kun also made sure to inform you that this was Doyoung’s idea.

“This Johnny is the same Johnny that Doyoung talks about in my dreams? The one who brings the fun out of him every once and while?”

“That’s right, Ms. (Y/L/N). Due to the betrayal, he can’t move on until his stepbrother is taken down.”

The fact that Kun was a bridge to the two of you felt miraculous. Now and then, Doyoung tasked Kun to buy you flowers or coffee whenever they meet. Sometimes, he’ll ask him to send his letters to you too. In return, you replied to those letters, attaching pictures of you and Areum over time. He hung it up in his office, taking a look before every shift.

Kun didn’t mind being in the middle. While Doyoung gave her cases to work on, it makes it easier for him to wait for her. Doyoung was a guest first before being a member of staff, and as the human manager, he’ll make sure that he gets to move on too.

Even if you don’t accept cases from big companies, the touching way how Mark described his passed older brother persuaded her otherwise. He even opened up about watching his father and older brother get killed right in front of him. From there, he was held hostage for years and never told anyone about that night.

It was undoubtedly the biggest case in your career. Up until this day, everyone still talks about how complex and intense the battle was.

“Always finding a way to make justice prevail, Kim Doyoung.” You thought to yourself after gathering more evidence from Mark and Kun, working closely also with forensics and the police.

And that you did. With additional information on Johnny’s side, which helped find the empty puzzle pieces to prove his stepfamily’s guilt, they won the case. Life imprisonment and forced transferring of roles, Mark became the CEO. All those involved in hiding the truth got caught and fired from their positions.

You deserved your influential status, and due to your never-ending service, Doyoung found himself falling in love with you over and over again. Even from far away, you felt his connection and passion.

Currently, you were dealing with five cases, one of them being another request for Kun and Doyoung. It was for the murder of Yuta Nakamoto in the late 40s.

Being a migrant from Japan, numerous Koreans held grudges for their people. He was mistreated and disrespected, even if he had the most caring soul. He even found love, ready to get wed. But one normal evening after his job as a Japanese teacher, he was mobbed by Koreans and heartlessly killed. At first, he wanted vengeance. But after Manwol telling stories of souls burning into ashes when they get revenge, he changed his objective to watch the demise of all his killers, who became very influential people in Korean society.

Representing with you was his former lover, Sooyoung. No matter how many times she tried to appeal to the court in the past, no one paid attention because she was a woman and interracial relationships were taboo. Even if Yuta held a special place in her heart, she eventually got married to another man. In the beginning, she felt guilty, but after Yuta told her in a dream call that she shouldn’t be afraid to open herself up again, she never held back. And as a fellow woman who’s been ostracized, you sided with her.

She may not have her happy ending with Yuta, but it only felt right to avenge his wrongful death.

It’s a tough battle, these murderous men not owning up to their crime, and the public also discriminating the dead man by saying he deserved it. But you knew you could do it, even if it’ll take a while.

Back to the newbie, he was in his early twenties. He went by the name, Jaehyun. Just about to start his life, yet taken away just like that. Aside from being the next bartender, he has another position as the vinyl boy in the music section of the library. It came to Manwol’s attention that he wanted to pursue music when he was alive, listening to vinyl CDs or cassette players and taking singing and piano lessons growing up. While he figured out what he wants to do while moving on, he’d be in charge of organizing and playing music for the souls checked in. Sing even if requested, especially by the women who are charmed by his attractive looks.

He was a literal old soul, jazz being his favorite genre. Most of the time, he played Chet Baker or Frank Sinatra when it’s his shift at the bar. He was known for always showing his best and happy-go-lucky sides to everyone.

It took him a few years to start opening about his life, longer than most souls. But maybe because the trauma of it all stung. One night, when he, Doyoung, and Kun weren’t working, he mixed a few cocktails and completely fell off the radar.

“I was a part of a duo with one of my best friends, Hongseok. It was really fun to perform and make music with him, but then he suddenly got into drugs and had a ton load of groupies. I-I just couldn’t do it anymore with him if he wasn’t going to stop. Once I cut off ties with him, I was signed by a class A producer who loved my compositions. He even got me all sorts of opportunities to perform on TV, and I was so excited for it. But one week until I made my official debut, Hongseok reached out again with apologies, wanting to meet up so we can fix ties. I was hesitant, but I still give him the benefit of the doubt because we go way back….” He confessed, puffing out smoke from his cigarette and putting it down on the ashtray. Before he continued his story, he scoffed with profanities.

“That bitch. I fucking trusted him! I was too good to give him another shot. So after practice, he sent me an address to his apartment or so I thought. We were having drinks, just like old times. But something felt off feel when my mind started feeling hazy and I started coughing continuously because my stomach ached like crazy. He asked me if I was fine, and I told him I was. Then suddenly, baam!” He crashed his hands on the table, shocking the hell out of his two companions.

“Holy fuck, Jaehyun.” Kun cursed under his breath. Doyoung nudged him the shoulder to mind his language.

“The deities are watching you, Kun. Let Jaehyun-ie continue.”

So he did. “There I was, standing beside my dead body while Hongseok rummaged with surgical gloves through my bag to steal my notebook of songs. He planted cocaine on the table where I conversed with him, and also in front of my face. Beside my glass, he laid the vial of poison he used and called the cops. With fake tears, he cried on the phone saying that he came home to my dead body and a suicide note.”

Stillness between the three of them was filled with betrayal and disappointment. For a so-called friend, this must be the worst thing you can do to them. To lessen his suffering, Jaehyun brought back his actively lit cigarette and smoked it until all the tobacco was gone. Exhaling a dark grey smoke, he spat out.

“I-I couldn’t believe it, hyungs. I lost everything after making the wrong decision of seeing him. And now, he signed under that label that found me to “give honor to my talent”. How tragic that I suddenly took my life he’d say, oh bullshit! You took away my life because you were jealous!”

Kun decided to call it a night, requesting Yukhei who’s on duty to take Jaehyun’s upcoming shifts so he could calm down. Escorting his intoxicated figure out so the other guests won’t feel bothered, Doyoung contemplated if he wanted to forward another case to you. You’ve been getting so much workload lately, according to Kun, because your success rate is high and highly in demand.

“What happened to Jaehyun?” Manwol showed up from behind, sitting across him. “Did he finally tell his story?”

Doyoung mildly groaned, devastated by it. “He did, and it breaks my heart. He’s still so young, like me.”

“What are you going to do about it?” Manwol stirred the spare cocktail, ingesting it in one go. “Is it another case worth forwarding to (Y/N)?”

“If it helps Jaehyun move on, possibly. I know it’s hard to find staff these days, Manwol. Also, she’s stacked already. I don’t know if she’ll take it.”

She snickered, patting his shoulder. “You know if it’s from you, it becomes her priority. She loves you that much, you know.”

“I know, but I wish I could help her. In person. I would’ve been a lawyer and taken Jaehyun’s case if I were alive. Murder in the first degree, false reporting to the police, stealing, his persecutor is insane and still walking free.”

The fire of passion in Doyoung wasn’t new to Manwol, nodding as he spoke. He was capable of a lot of things, but the world just wasn’t ready to see it. She was more concerned at how the deities will react when he engages in human affairs again. Even if it helps a lot of ghosts move on, it’s highly discouraged to interfere with the living world. It’ll ruin the entire flow of the world.

Doyoung already knew what he got himself into, but it’s one of the few ways he still feels relevant. Always in service for anyone who needs it, dead or alive. If the deities take him away, it’s no joke that it’ll be a riot in the entire hotel.

“In that case,” Manwol’s piercing eyes scanned right at him, filling up his glass with vodka. Second to Doyoung, she grew a fond liking to Jaehyun. She never knew how much he’s been hiding during his stay. “Forward it no matter what. End his murderer’s career at all costs.”

Doyoung smirked, lifting his glass high to clink with hers then chugging it one go.

“I’ll investigate first with Kun to know more about Jaehyun’s life, then we’ll look for someone who wants to testify for Jaehyun to meet with (Y/N).”

Amid the craze and problems in the hotel, at least Doyoung was at ease with how successful his family. Areum became a well-known author for fairytales, got married, and had 3 kids of her own. She most definitely didn’t live down to Doyoung’s promise.

“Is he a nice guy?” Doyoung inspected the man who married his only daughter. It felt like yesterday they played around in the carnival room.

“He is, Doyoung. Intelligent and caring, nothing to worry about.” You calmed his shaking leg, resting your head on his shoulder while you watch the fireflies from the campfire set prepared by the deities.

“I’m just looking out for her, you know.”

“She most definitely does know, even telling stories about us to her kids. Our grandchildren.”

“It’s hard to believe that we’re technically old when we’re always young in these dreams.”

“Maybe it’s just you being used to your youth. Meanwhile, aging is beating my ass every day.” You joked, covering yourself up in the blanket you shared. Doyoung’s bottom lip jutted out, huffing at your mean comments.

“Yah, you take that back.”

“Make me.” You fired back, riling him up.

Doyoung in the dream attacked you by tickling your sides mercilessly. Your body uncontrollably arched back and forth, falling back to the blanket you sat at. He took the advantage to pin you down, gripping on your arms to the side. With his face near yours, you closed the gap with a cheeky kiss. His touch softened, allowing you to pull him lower by his collar. Your lips molded together in every movement, feeling his tongue lick your lower lip for entrance. You freely gave in, moaning filthily.

“Didn’t even have to test me like that, my love.”

How you wished this was longer, if it weren’t for the fast fading out, and morning has arrived again. A short-lived euphoria, yet it left your panties drenched under the covers. The arousal still ran in your veins.

“Kim Doyoung, you tease.”

Back to your real life, aside from bravely taking on controversial cases, there was a thrill in every case you did and it showed by your fast-paced talking and hand gestures. Whether you won or lost, mostly the former, knowing that you helped someone made your life more meaningful.

He often forgot how you’re a grandmother during your dream calls already as time flows differently within the living and the dead. They were the only way you can be youthful and energetic. But with your actual body, it began to weaken.

Early 1990s

Nature decided to take heavier measures on you physically. On one of the monthly visits to the doctor, she noticed something off with the checkup and tests. Especially in the chest area.

“Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), I’m afraid that you have a growing lump in your breast.”

“Are you saying what I’m thinking?”

“If breast cancer is one of those though, then unfortunately yes.”

Areum was by your side that day, tearing up at her announcement. You, on the other hand, remained still and nodding at the truth. You’ve fought for a lot of things in your life, and you were so determined to beat this one.

Chemotherapy, medications, and scans are tiring and draining, but you managed to live for 2 more years. You’ve fully retired, and now and then, mentor the juniors with their cases. You’ve traveled to as many places as you can before the stages of cancer rose.

In your last months of life, you were bedridden in the most expensive hospital in Seoul, getting visits from Areum with her family, Jungwoo and Taeyong. As the latter served as definite friends to Doyoung, it was only natural to befriend them when they came into your life post-war. They supported Areum in any way they can too.  They’ve become a great company in your boring life especially in the hospital. Nowadays, Jungwoo loved sharing stories about his hyper grandchildren, who share similar traits to him, while Taeyong excitedly talked about his recent investment with a promising music company with the dream to debut talented individuals and go international in the long run.

“Mr. Lee Soo Man is dedicated to it! He hopes that next year, all his plans can start and be executed.”

“You’re always investing in start-ups, you know? You think this one will be bigger than the rest?”

“Music is universal, you know. Language barriers may be there, but music brings us together.”

Taeyong was always a delight to catch up with. However, you didn’t expect that conversation would be your last with him. A few days later, he suffered a sudden heart attack and passed. This was a sign that your time was coming. Your body falling more and more feeble every day as the disease fully took you over at night, the monitors always going on a high every so often.

It’s only a matter of time before you leave this life, and looking back, you’ve lived a tough yet productive life. Your daughter was happy and thriving in her career and family. You helped families and couples from their abusive households. You defended those with loved ones who were murdered, robbed, and lied to. You ticked off all you wanted to do beforehand.

Areum made sure to visit that night specifically as soon as she could. With your recent test results have been failing, her gut feeling kept insisting.

It’s a good thing she did.

Meanwhile, it was another day of work for Doyoung, just returning a bunch of books in their respective shelves after some teenagers left on the table. Before that, he bid Taeyong goodbye in the tunnel. It’s always nice to see a familiar face, so he couldn’t miss out on it. He shared any life stories he had with you, updating him about your state. Doyoung knew about it beforehand, and as selfish enough to look forward to it, it pained him to know you’re suffering. He only hoped you could fight through it.

“Doyoung-hyung!” Someone suddenly shouted, but he was shushed by an old lady reading her romance novel, who pointed at the sign that read “Keep quiet in the library”.

Doyoung was also annoyed, instantly nagging on the point person. “Kun! Can you read the sign? Jeez, this isn’t the first time so please-”

“(Y/N) is going off the monitor.” He blurted out. The news from one of the nurses he befriended buzzed through his phone. After finding out about his story, he wanted to help Doyoung especially when he was still alive. Doyoung may a part of the staff, but he’s still a guest. He dropped everything in his hands. Before he could race to the hospital, he changed into a specific outfit for this occasion.

This was it.

Areum was the only one by your side of your hospital bed, weeping due to your weak state. You didn’t want your other family members to witness this crucial moment. It stung that you’ll miss out on the futures of your grandchildren, but you were satisfied to just be a part of their lives. All this machinery trying to sustain your life served its purpose, but the illness you’re fighting was stronger.

“Mom....” Areum sniffled in her handkerchief, holding on to your boney hand. “I’m not ready for you to go.”

“Oh, Areum.” Your thumb caressed her soft palm as reassurance. “You grew up so well. An independent woman you are, you are so loved.”

“Mom, please....” She begged. “I can’t lose you too.”

You will never know how Areum held in her sorrow of not being able to grow up with her father. She hated the feeling of being fully abandoned. She wanted things and people to return to her, but she can’t make that choice. Being by her side all her life, losing you will be the hardest struggle she’ll have to face.

“Areum, you must understand...” You paused as a pang of pain in your chest stabs you. After a minute of enduring it, you continued. “...We are put on this world for a specific time. And if we’re called to leave, we must face it.”

She whimpered whilst holding on to your hand. She really thought you can get through this one like the rest, but your hair has gone, your body lost much weight, and your eyes lost their light.

“Mom, are you happy? You’ve fought through so much to get where you are. I can never do what you did.”

“Y-Yes, I am.” You stuttered, gracing a promising smile. “I had you, our families, and your father watching over me..”

The dreams you get on your birthday were fairytale-like stories that pushed Areum to become an author. She denied how unrealistic and supernatural they were at first. Another trait of Doyoung she got. However, when she noticed how wider your smiles are and energetic you get in the mornings after rather the feeling of distraught, she reckoned to believe they were something special. Despite knowing your love story and its downfall, she felt exhilarated at the things you and her dad did there. In a way, it brings him closer to her. But she still had that void.

“I envy you for that, mom. I wish I met him or at least came to me even if I least expected it!”

Oh, little did she know about that time in the bookstore back in the 70s. It was not coincidental; you and Doyoung planned it very well. You just played along to her complaint, alerted that this wasn’t your story to tell at this time. “Forgive your father just this once, okay? He never wanted this kind of fate for any of us. If one thing stayed constant in those dreams, it’s him always asking how you are doing.”

Her tears become uncontrollable, allowing herself to get puffy eyes and let it all out. “When you see him, please tell him I’m sorry and that I love him no matter.” “Oh, Areum. He knows that, so don’t worry about it.”

The clock was ticking for Areum before she’ll be asked to leave. With you bringing up her father again, she had one last question. Her courage to ask it was so little when she was young in fear you sulk and break down. It hurt her when the bad parts of your past tormented you.

“How much do you miss him?” The question put you in a point of self-reflection. The only person you’ve opened up to talk about him in detail was Areum. Even with your friendships with Taeyong and Jungwoo, there were some things you never disclosed with them. And never did they force you to answer because they can read you on the back of their heads: you’re still heartbroken, yet remained devoted to him.

“I miss him so much that even if this became my fate for accepting his notebook back in our university days, I would foolishly do it all over again. In those times he was no longer with us, it taught me to appreciate what and who we have in our lives because tomorrow is never guaranteed. From his impact, I learned to take care of myself again so I can take better care of you. I’m grateful you were born; he left a piece of him for me.”

“You’ve suffered so much, mom. I hope you can rest peacefully.”

“Thank you for never leaving my side, Areum.” A few tears escaped your eyes, infectious to your daughter’s gloom. “I love you.”

Meanwhile, Doyoung was right outside viewing you and Areum sharing your last conversation and goodbyes. As much as he looked forward to reuniting with you, he didn’t want to leave his only daughter alone. The deities should have shown her more mercy. Still invisible, he observed how Areum trembled when she heavily closed the door of your hospital room. Covering her sobs with her handkerchief, she took one last look through the small glass of the door. You dove into a deep sleep that would then be unawakened.

“I hope your next life is happier than this, mom, and you can cross paths again with dad and grow old with him too.”

Doyoung’s urge to show himself to his daughter to console her was overpowering him, but he restrained himself this time. A few hours later, your consciousness was faltering. Your five senses were losing touch one by one. Important memories of your long life played in your mind. Then your heart gave in and stopped beating. The doctors present there have pronounced you dead. The transition from your body to your soul watching it be covered by a blanket by the nurses was swift yet strange. You didn’t know where to go and what’s next. No book prepared you for this nor can you ask the doctors what to do. Standing there lost with so many questions, it only took someone’s enthusiastic calling for your name to soothe you down.

“(Y/N)!”

It hit you instantaneously that when your day comes, Doyoung would call for your name. Your old age and past illness really affected your memories. He was an honest man and kept to his word this time.

And there he was, just along the hallway.

This was no longer a dream.

This novel kind of exhilaration got you moving your feet, still sore and slow because you were still an old lady.

“Doyoung!”

You shouted back, over and over again before your boney hands slid open the door. At the same time, your old figure drastically and permanently transformed you back to your active twenties. Nothing physically hurt anymore and your energy was on an all-time high. Your room was the last on the floor, a dead end. The left side of the hallway was just a closed window pane.

When you stepped outside and turned to your right, there he properly stood. He wore the same suit and suspenders combination on the day he approached you on your bike. The actual soul of Kim Doyoung who was no longer behind the phone. No matter how many times he’s seen you from afar, it makes him lose his breath from the captivation. For once, he can see you without barriers.

You just realized how you were dressed back into the floral dress on the day you had your first proper conversation. It’s like you’re meeting each other again for the first time. The beeping sounds of the monitors, wheelchairs moving, and chitter-chatter exchanged by doctors went mute. Stunned, you couldn’t stop looking eye to eye at him, cherishing this special moment.

It finally processed to Doyoung that his patience and efforts paid off. In this journey of acceptance, while enduring its trials, it added up to this sweet result to be reunited with you. The adrenaline rush took control of your limbs, legs running to him on the other side.

As his arms widened for a hug, he spun and picked you around in the air. His arms firmly wrap around your waist while your head snuggled on top of his shoulder. You felt safe, warm, and alleviated. Once he put you back down, the overwhelming joy wasn’t keen to pull away from your lover. Doyoung’s lips somehow got closer to yours, your heart skipping beats and his familiar scent intoxicating your thoughts.

With Doyoung still having you wrapped in his arms, he took his awaited chance to close into your parted lips. The fluttering in your stomach was on overdrive, your entire body reacting immediately from his passion. One hand curled into a fist on the hem of his buttoned top while the other rubbed the back of his head. Your legs almost gave in, but with Doyoung’s strength, he held you tight. No previous kiss felt like this. You didn’t have to worry about getting caught by adults for such a provocative display of affection. Your roommate wasn’t going to splash water if she catches you getting frisky on campus. As for Doyoung, he didn’t have to get paranoid about what his classmates would say about their relationship. You were both in your own world for a while.

But wanting to catch a breather from his thrilling dominance, your lips hesitantly moved away first. You took your time to get lost in admiring his features. Wet, swollen lips, flushed cheeks, his dazed eyes, he was irresistible, to say the least.

This was how an almost 50-year build-up would end up to.

“My love, it’s really you,” You finally spoke, caressing your thumb on his flushed cheek. “You’ve been through so much.”

As lovestruck as he is, his pent-up tears streamed down instantly. Except they were tears of joy. All those years he held back.

“I’ve missed you so much, (Y/N). I’m just happy you’re finally here with me.”

He wasn’t joking when he said that the main lobby alone was exquisite after walking through the city. Aside from Kun, that’s where he introduced you to other staff he worked with, such as Jeno, Jaehyun, and the boss herself, Manwol.

“This boy stayed very loyal, you know?” She commended Doyoung. It was a rare thing with her cold-hearted and aggressive personality. “He read to a lot of kids, taught some of them too, and recommended great books for the souls to read. He listened to a lot of souls who wanted justice then forwarded them to you so they can cross the other side.”

An honor to hear from the owner herself, you glanced at Doyoung with so much love. Such a giver than a receiver.

Beside Manwol was someone whom you aspired to meet. Unfortunately, you never met the other boys you’ve helped, so this was a great chance to see at least one before moving on. Hearing about his case and the treachery of it, you made sure to work on it before you retired, eventually passing it on to one of your trusted juniors. So far, his side was winning and that’s all you wanted.

“Jeong Jaehyun.” You held on to his clasped hands as he bowed to you.

“Attorney (Y/L/N). I’m so grateful for what you’re doing for me.”

“Oh, just call me (Y/N). By the way, your side is winning, my dear. Your younger brother Sungchan is committed to clearing up your name, and that evil Hongseok will rot in life imprisonment for his crimes.” You updated him. Without self-restraint, his arms gather you in for a hug. Jaehyun wasn’t much for affection, but this felt like the right circumstance. In return, you hugged him back.

“Thanks to you, Johnny and Yuta are resting in peace.”

“And you are next, Jaehyun. My junior taking your case is topnotch, so you’re bound to get what you truthfully deserve.”

After sharing such a heartfelt moment, you asserted your attention to Jeno. Not going to lie, you’ve looked forward to meeting this boy the most. He was there with Doyoung from the very beginning.

“Doyoung-hyung gets giddy after he makes a call, and tells me everything that you’ve been up to.” Jeno joined in. “He gets grumpy though too, so I like pestering him around to light him up. Oh, I’ll never know what you see in him, (Y/N).”

That gave him a joking slap on the shoulder by Doyoung, signaling to cut it out.  

“Hyung!” He fakely cried, hiding his face behind Jaehyun’s shoulder.

You suppressed a laugh, eventually sputtering out like an engine. Doyoung sighed, failing to redeem himself. But it’s alright. A simple peck from you on his cheek got him all flustered.

“Aish, take your romantic shenanigans when you’re in your room, not in my damn lobby.” Manwol cringed, the evident love bug getting on her nerves. “Alright, everyone. Get back to work!”

Checking in your room was an experience. Since you’ve been to numerous places through the dream calls, there was one main thing you’ve missed to do with Doyoung. As soon as he lifted you by your thighs and roughly shoved his tongue down your throat, you were in for a heated evening. This dominant side of Doyoung when it came to sex was completely fresh. After diving into more erotica over time, he learned about visual porn through Johnny and Jeno. You can say that he studied it very well.

“Almost 40 years of waiting, (Y/N).” He trapped you from above, sliding one of his hands to your bare breasts until it landed on your clothed core. Rubbing up and down your clit in a torturously slow place, he smirked at your desperate whines. Your breaths turned heavy, soaked by his actions. “Remember when I told you to brace yourself back then?”

“Shit, Doyoung...”

“Shush love, I’m in control now. So be a good girl for me, alright?” He growled in your ear, sucking on your soft spot on your neck. You obeyed that night, unbuttoning his shirt impatiently only to reveal his toned abdomen then lowering his crotch to give it a tight squeeze.

He hissed against your neck, pushing your panties to the side and sliding in your wetness.

“You are asking for it now, love.”

A steamy night it was, making up for all those lost years.

The following day, the struggle to walk was real. Jeno even pointed out your limping when you were roaming around the library Doyoung worked at. You never had a younger sibling, but he acted like one. So you punched him in the shoulder to shut up. “Jeez, you’re both so physical. Let me live!”

“Jeno, you’re dead. Don’t say nonsensical things.”

You learned how this hotel’s main purpose was to guide and fulfill the last wishes of ghosts in the living world before moving on. When Jeno asked you if you still have unfinished business, you realized that there is one thing left. Even if you completed your bucket list, that one thing is only possible through the hotel. You and Doyoung sat across Manwol, monitoring your shared dream call like she always did.

“Is this really the only thing you want to do here, (Y/N)?” Positively nodding, she gave you the signal to lift up the phone.

Areum found herself in an unfamiliar forest nearby a river during the day. Even she’s always like playing outside with nature in her childhood years, this location didn’t ring a bell. In fact, she was physically back to being that young girl with the same mature mind in this dream.

She wasn’t a vivid dreamer like yourself, forgetting them as so as she woke up. Even in that “dream” with her father, there were so many gaps. So for this one time, she can fully grasp her surroundings. This dream must have a purpose, she wondered.

While she followed the path that the dream assumed for her to take, she then clearly caught a glimpse of a younger you at the end of that path. Running around and laughing in the grass.

“Mom!” She called out, moving at a faster pace. It’s a good thing this dream brought her back her agility.

At the end of the path, it unveiled you lying down on the grass. Wearing in a dainty dress that reminded her of the 50s, there was an unfamiliar young man beside you. His head face planted on the grass because you pushed him off your body when he tried to tickle you.

It turned out that she arrived at your favorite spot with Doyoung. She’s only heard stories of things you’ve done and talked about her, but due to the war, their spot was devastated. Soon after, it turned into a small condominium building overlooking the river.

“Areum!” You squealed cheerfully to hear her much younger voice. She tackled you in a hug, and you still naturally felt it from where you sat.

“My sweet child,” You cooed in her, patting her back. “How are you?”

“It’s been difficult, but I’ll get by in time.” That was the first thing she managed to say, the grief being very much fresh. No mother wants to be separated from her child, and you weren’t exempted. But that is how life works: you come then you go. The truth tends to hurt.

It was obvious to Doyoung that you were still saddened by leaving Areum, taking this opportunity to give you space and finally interact with his daughter. No disguises nor distance. While the most important women in his life are still hugging in the dream, he pulls himself off from the grass and brushes away some leaves from his hair.

“Areum, I see you paid me back by having top-selling books for children.”

Areum peeked from your shoulder to check who the other man was by your side talking to her. Once he was clean from dirt and leaves, there was the only person he resonated with her. From pictures and stories shared by you, the actual man was with her.

Her actual father was in this dream with her.

“Dad!” She abruptly pulled away from you to approach her father for a bigger hug. You don’t blame her for that, she deserved to see her father even for a bit.

Years of having that empty void only for her biological father, she could care less at this very moment

Doyoung has never cried in a dream call with you, however, this long-awaited moment with his daughter resulted in him softly bawling while feeling her hugs from the chair. He’s proud and at peace to move on not just as your lover or a passionate university student, but as a father.

In their moment of content, only there did it make complete sense to Areum at the unusual memory during the ‘70s at the bookstore wasn’t random. It proved that he really did his best to reach out to her in any way he could.

“This whole time, you were the mysterious tokki. I just thought it was a coincidence. I’m so sorry, dad, that I didn’t notice you.” She sulks. Doyoung in the dream pats her back while lovingly rubbing the nape of her head.

“Oh, Areum. Don’t feel bad. I just wanted to see how much my little girl became independent and studious.” He replies, comforting the disheartened child. “I read all the letters you sent me during my birthday. I was touched then and touched now for this moment. I am proud of you, my daughter. And my love for you never changed.”

The affirmation in his words put Areum in a state of joy, rekindling that spark from the 70s. “I love you, dad.”

Your last mission in this world was to have a special outing with your complete family. Regret was always prevalent in the past, wanting to do this and that but never pushed through. But not in this dream. Just the three of you, happy and carefree from it all.

Unfortunately, Manwol just gave a hand signal that your time was almost up. Time flies by so quickly when you’re fully immersed in something you’re enjoying. Doyoung wasn’t capable to bear the bad news, but with you by his side, you helped him.

“Areum, it’s time for us to go.”

Areum sighed, reality seeping back into the situation. One sleep isn’t enough to make up years of loss. However, she still managed to remain positive in those circumstances. “I wish things worked out differently for our family, but who knows what our next lives will take us?”

In an instant, the two of you in the dream gave your daughter a big group hug. One she’s always yearned for. It’s moments like this where you mustn’t take anything for granted with your family.

“I’m happy you’re reunited with each other, mom and dad. Rest well.” She whispers with a smile, feeling fulfilled. She can grace the living world without wondering how things would be like with a complete set of parents anymore. This dream call successfully filled that empty void in her heart.

Once you’ve bid your final farewell and hung up the phone, you and Doyoung can say the same. A little bittersweet, but it lightened all the burdens in your hearts. The both of you can ultimately rest peacefully and move on.

The timing was perfect for Kun to inform you that the car taking you to the bridge leading to the afterlife was ready.

Jeno, Manwol, Kun, and Jaehyun didn’t want to miss out on this moment, waving farewells to you both. This lifetime may have taken you away from each other physically for a long time, but you still held on to each other. Most people gave up, though it’s not wrong either. It’s better to let go rather than holding on sometimes.

But the both of you were different, something, not even the deities didn’t expect. It’s only up to them to decide if they’ll give you another chance to be together and relive a longer life. A very rare sight indeed. To be granted or not, your story set a standard.

That a love so strong is so patient it endured all the challenges and stress.

“On to the next life, Doyoung?” You asked him, leaning against his shoulder as the car drove under the tunnel. All at the end of it was merely a white sky, where a long bridge awaited them.

“Make sure you wait for me this time.” 

[korissideblog]

hehe <3 aito daddy issues fic <33

[cw: parental abandonment, religion mention]

[Ikuto is from the lovely @nicosbrainrot , Haru is from the spectacular @compoundhero and Sato is from the show stopping @dantelionwishes

Osamu Sato hated staying late at work, and yet as a teacher, it was a pretty common occurrence for him. 

Walking out of the school, Sato cringed as he saw the rain coming down hard. Luckily most of his walk to the parking lot could be covered by awnings… unluckily though, he noticed a student standing out in the rain. They wore the school’s uniform, but were missing the uniform’s blazer. Whoever it was seemed fairly preoccupied with something, at least until Sato called out to them. Wet hair swung as Sato called out to the student, who was soon identified by his short twin horns on his head, seemingly drowning in the mess of soaked locks. 

Aito Takao was easily one of Sato’s more sneaky students, and if overheard rumors were true, she easily could have stuck out of the dorms and off campus without being caught like this. Either Takao wanted to be caught, or he didn’t care. Either possibility terrified Sato for different reasons. 

Takao didn’t move from his position, so Sato called again, motioning for him to come out of the rain. The boy’s head tilted as if confused. Once again, Sato called out to him, only for Takao to feign confusion. Takao turned and held his hand to his ear as if trying to hear, and Sato rolled his eyes. Of course the little demon child would be the one to drag Sato out in all this wetness. Takao smiled weakly as Sato shielded himself from the rain, walking out from the safety of the awning into the punishing rain.

“Takao-san. You’re getting soaked.” Sato huffed, also getting soaked. “Why are you out here?”

“I'm thinking.” Takao said smoothly, as if it were obvious. For a second, Sato grinned. Thinking was fairly new to Takao, it seems some of her classmates were rubbing off on her. 

“Who are you napping with tonight?” Sato asks, to the seeming shock of the girl. “Aki-san told me the first week of school: He didn’t want to break any dorm rules.” he chuckled, Takao understanding immediately and rolling her eyes. 

“I’m with Haru tonight.” she said shortly. “He’s probably gonna be upset that I’m late, but I'll just say that I'm with Akihiko. He likes it when I ‘interact with my classmates and the community around me in productive ways!’” she said, changing his voice into a playful mocking of his moral compass of a classmate. 

Sato’s mouth flinched into a minuscule grin, but instantly went back into its usual bored look. “Don’t mock Aki-san. He’s good for you.” Takao retaliated the comment with a quick smack to Sato’s stomach with the back of her hand, before being quickly reprimanded with a flick to the back of the head. Takao was going to respond with another attack, but was stopped when a jacket was draped over his shoulders. “Keep you dry.” Sato said shortly, as if the girl wasn’t already soaked to the bone. 

“Thanks, coach.” Takao mumbled quietly, tugging the sleeves over his arms. “Your fingers are huge by the way.” Sato’s eyebrow quirked at that, looking over as Takao flicked a ring around her slightly smaller fingers. Sato’s engagement ring. 

The man quickly snatched the ring out of the boy’s hand and fit it back over his own finger, scowling a bit at her. “Don't steal, Takao. I didn’t even know you knew how to steal something that small.”

“I know a lot more than people give me credit for.” Aito said vaguely with a huff, stuffing her hands into the pockets of the jacket. In the small moment of silence, the rain around them seemed to get a bit heavier, as if trying to punish the girl for her sour attitude. That, or copy her mood.

“Well then, what do you know about that photograph you’re hiding from me?” Takao blinked in shock, before reaching into the pocket of her slacks and revealing the back of it to her teacher. So he was right. “See? I'm getting better at reading you, Takao-san.” Sato chuckled. Takao apparently didn’t see the humor in that, frowning as she stayed silent. Her whole body seemed to droop under the weight of the water, one hand clutched to her arm, her head low as though she was caught with some sort of contraband. It was just a picture… wasn’t it?

“Takao-san.” Sato said, raising his voice a bit above the soft playfulness of his last comment. “Is there something wrong?” 

Takao’s fists balled up in frustration as she shoved the picture into the jacket pocket. Quickly he swiped his wet bangs out of the way of his eyes and-

And Sato felt a slight buzz inside of his nose, as if he were about to sneeze… but he didn’t. He only stared back as the boy’s sickly yellow eyes snarled their usual threat. The bark was much worse than the bite, at least in Sato’s case. It was rare for Takao to show his eyes to his teacher, so Sato knew he had something to say. 

If he didn’t know from just seeing his eyes, the puffiness- from either rainwater or tears, Sato couldn’t tell- was a good indicator that Takao needed someone to listen to her. 

“Mama doesn’t know that I know but…” Takao sniffled, trying to keep it together as the rain continued to pelt down. “The anniversary… of when my father left us… it’s coming up soon.” she said, wrapping her arms around herself in comfort. “Growing up, mama always made that day special for me… took me to a restaurant, or shopping, or an amusement park- whatever. It was always something. She thought that I could… I dunno- subconsciously tell that something bad happened today. She didn’t want me feeling bad so… we’d do something nice- something nice together.” he huffed, wiping his face clean with the sleeve of Sato’s jacket. He was definitely crying.. 

“But this year… this year I’m here at school and… and mama has a teacher thing she has to do and- and she’s gonna be away all week and-” he hiccuped, trying and failing to keep his voice still as tears stung his eyes. “And she’s sending me food and money- and I can hang out with any of my friends and-” her voice cracked as she held back a sob, holding herself tighter. “But I don't want my friends! I want my mama-” Thunder rolled and Takao shivered as she clutched her arms. If not for the jacket protecting her, her nails might have torn through her shirt by now. “What if she doesn’t come back coach?!” Takao asked, tears flowing freely down her face. “I am the model of perfection- from my actions to my movements to my looks to my thoughts, I am nothing but raw and ruthless in my perfection- even my ‘faults’ only make me more perfect- perfectly human in all ways, even mistakes. God made humanity in His image, and I am His near perfect twin.” again, lightning struck. Chastising or cheering, Sato couldn't tell- what he could tell though, was that it was getting dangerously close. He was about to stop Takao’s insistent narcissistic rambling when she looked at him with the wildest eyes he’d ever seen on a child her age, shaking and trembling as if to fight back screaming sobs. 

“So why was I not perfect enough for HIM!?” Takao shrieked, lightning striking a tree nearby, nearly deafening the two. 

In the silent ringing, Takao screamed and ran to Sato, burying himself in the man’s arms. “SATO!” the boy screamed, shaking like a leaf as he clutched his teacher’s torso in fear. “Take me back- back to the dorms!!” he trembled, tears warm against Sato’s chest- a shock after the coldness of the rain. “I’m scared- Sato, I’m so scared- please take me back!” she pleaded, Sato finally being in the state of mind to move his body and wrap his arms around the boy… and Takao was one. For just a fleeting moment… that’s all he was. Just a scared little boy, with no one to turn to but him. 

Sato had to get him to safety. 

Takao seemed petrified in her place, and as difficult as it was, Sato lifted the girl. Luckily she seemed to have the mind- or at least the instinct- to wrap her arms and legs around him and hold on like a lifeline as her teacher carried her under the awning and through the campus. It wasn’t long till both teacher and student were inside the dorms again, and Takao was finally lowered to the ground. 

She was still sobbing, holding onto Sato’s arm as she trembled lightly. She was in a delicate state though, so Sato allowed her to continue. 

“Takao kun!” The two looked up to see Takao’s long haired classmate- and napping buddy for the night- Hiroharu Aki. “She’s here, Maekawa-kun!” Aki called up the stairs before booking it to Takao’s side. “I woke up and realized that you hadn’t come to bed yet! You are absolutely soaked! Why were you out there!?” Aki asked, peppering the girl with questions as he removed the soaking jacket from her shoulders, Sato taking it without comment. 

“Aito!” Ikuto barked, sprinting down the stairs and tackling the girl in a hug, “We thought you’d run off somewhere- you’re soaking wet dude- hurry, we should get you out of all this before you get sick!” Maekawa, ever the worrier, tugged at his friend’s arm. 

Takao held on tightly to her teacher, though, looking up at him with covered eyes. Sato felt a slight tinge of nostalgia for it- being young and unable to express emotions because of a covered face. It made him smile a bit- not that Takao would know, seeing as his mouth was covered… well, maybe they would both know, in their own little way. “You three better hurry back. You’re way past curfew.” he said, in his sternest ‘you’re in trouble’ teacher voice. Both boys immediately started apologizing, Maekawa grabbing and pulling Takao quickly away towards their dorms. The girl looked back though, her hair flicking just out of the way enough that he could see her full expression. A smile… with very thankful eyes.

Sato left the dorm building, tossing the jacket over himself and fitting his arms through. It was already worthless to him as something to stop the rain, but it was just force of habit at this point. He slipped his hand into his pocket… but felt something there. The photograph… Takao had left it in his jacket pocket. 

Pulling it out and inspecting it felt like an invasion of privacy… but anyone would be curious, wouldn’t they? 

In the photo was a man sitting on a window nook with a young child, face buried in his chest as the man held him. Outside the window behind them was a raging storm, not unlike the one Sato was currently dodging above each awning. Aito Takao obviously bared quite the resemblance to her mother… but this man? The two of them could have been brothers. Between their soft droopy eyes, wide shoulders, and wavy hair just barely covering his deep brown eyes? It was impossible to deny who this picture was of. On the back of the photo was carefully written kanji, as if the writer was unused to the script. 

‘My two perfect boys. Aito hates the rain. He wants to nap with his daddy though’ 

…

Sato decided to return the picture after the weekend. The girl didn’t need reminding of something so terrible.

Sato then realized that he had spent nearly an hour with Takao, and on instinct he reached for his back pocket. It was a horrible instinct to have. He had just had such a touching moment with the boy, and here he was already suspecting him of-

His wallet.

The little bastard took his wallet.

[michellen324]

Heartslaybul Demon

Heartslaybul x Demon!Reader

Sypnosis: [Name] beating the shit out of Riddle in his Overblot form and possibly traumatizing the Heartslaybul dorm.

Disclaimers: I do not own Twst or KNY. As a demon, there will be mentions of violence, cannibalism and gore. Swearing is also included in this!

[Not that much Heartslaybul x Reader in this one too. I suck at romance :p]

Her eyes narrowed at the shorter boy in front of her. A barely audible sigh escaped her lips -stained red from blood, hers or someone else’s, she didn’t know- as she leant on a bush hedge in front of the crowd as two of her endearing idiots decided to battle the dorm leader for their freedom.

The fight began, and not a second later, the red and black collars snapped around their necks, blocking their use of magic.

A tyrant; He was no different from a tyrant, using his magic to harm others and have them bow before his feet for the sake of his rules. He was almost like him, but at least he wasn’t a merciless killer.

“You know..”

[Name] said, pushing herself off the bush hedges, and walking towards the trio.

“Enforcing these rules of yours are completely wrong, no? Are they really for the betterment of the dorm, or is it for your own hedonistic pleasure?”

The red-haired male turned towards her, angry that she dared defy him.

“What is wrong is all for me to decide! If you can’t even follow a simple rule, just what was your education like? You were probably born from parents that can barely use magic and didn’t even receive much in terms of schooling before coming here. You’re utterly inadequate.”

[Name] tilted her head at the boy’s words, letting a small smirk at his weak insults. If he was trying to get her angry, than he would have to do better. She’s heard better insults from the pitiful demons she’d kill in her lifespan. A small giggle left her mouth, making the few who heard her look at the girl in confusion.

Why was she laughing after she was insulted? 

“Shut the hell up!!”

Ace burst out, surprising the girl as he landed a solid punch on his dorm leader. Not bad. It was best if he did the punching, because if she were to start getting aggressive… she was most certain her target would end out alive -let alone in one piece.

An audible gasp was heard from the crowd of students, seeing their dorm leader get struck in the face extremely hard.

“Ahh... I don’t care. About the dorm leader, about the duel, any of it.”

“Ow... He hit me?....”

Sure, the dorm leader was skilled with magic, but considering his weak frame, he was easy to manhandle. A hit from Ace must’ve hurt him extra hard.

Ace muttered to himself, before going on a full blown rant. His words spoke nothing but truth, and you couldn’t have felt prouder at the fact his moral compass shone brighter than before.

[Name] hid her smile behind the flowing sleeve of her kimono, seeing Ace slowly push Riddle to the edge.

Finally, Riddle burst open and stated screaming as the headmaster and Trey attempted to calm him. With your sharper senses, you could hear another student in the crowd finally snap and throw an egg at Riddle. 

[Name] almost lost it right then in there, covering her muffled giggles with the soft cloth that was draped on her. 

Her laughs were soon stopped though, as the dorm leader collared every student. Sharp [EyeColour] eyes narrowed at the male, knowing full well that must’ve taken a lot out of him. 

She let out a small ‘tsk’ and felt the collar now around her neck, not liking the tightness of it. Breathing in, she felt he blood demon art still flow throughout her. It seems like the collar didn’t work when it came to demons. Now.. would it be possible to rip it off? It’s made from magic, but since it took on a physical form, surely she could destroy it with enough force. If that didn’t do it, maybe she could decapitate herself and wrangle the collar off.

As the students started flooding towards the exit of the garden, [Name] watched as a huge wave of magic erupted, transforming the once beautiful garden to what looked like a battleground.

Her hands reached the collar around her neck, and surely enough, she could snap the collar off, hearing a satisfying snap and crunch of the collar snapping in half. Huh, guess her theory was true.

[Name] braced herself for the impact of the magic force, but found herself facing nothing as sudden glowing symbols of the cards started flowing around, covering the rest of the students and protecting them from the force. The rainbow colours and faint glows made the card suits look increasingly beautiful as they flew around and illuminated her face in the darker garden.

It was Trey’s doodle suit! His magic had quite the potential after all, and she wondered if he would be able to overwrite her demon blood art, or if he could even overwrite someone’s existence? The magic could be deadly if used and manipulated in a creative way.

That was the final straw for Riddle, as he ticked slowly into madness. The smell of ink was stronger than before, and finally, Riddle stood looking different. He was in a dress decorated with thorns as his left eye glowed a red. His voice was a deeper echo than before, truly ending the look with a villainous touch.

To any normal person, they would be shaking by this threatening person however, [Name] was not a normal person. In fact, she wasn’t a person at all. She was a demon, and as all demons do, the one person they feared was the man they were forbidden to ever speak about, made by him, and cursed to never say his name.

In fact, as someone who has met and fought plenty of demons, all of them she met -even the unfortunate children- were much more terrifying than him.

[Name] let out a laugh; One that everyone could hear. This was amusing to her, and she briefly wondered what “Overblot” humans taste like.

“Uh, [Name]? I don’t think this is a time to be laughing.”

She waved off the concerned words of Ace and Deuce, as she walked towards Riddle. Everyone else made noises of surprise and displeasure, not knowing that [Name] was quite literally immortal and could not be killed anymore.

“How... How dare you!? I’ll take your head first!”

She let out another laugh at this. Even if her head was removed from her body, both would function just fine on their own. Her head would grow arms and eventually a body, while her body would act like a well-animated corpse until she instructed it not to.

“And how will you do that, Rosehearts-san? You’re collars won’t affect me, and even if you rip it off with your bear hands, I’ll still live.”

She mocked Riddle, walking closer to him. Now that she was out of range from Trey’s doodle suit, he attempted to collar her once again. A cold metal wrapped around her neck, and for a second, Riddle though he had won against the confident female. That was until he heard the snapping of a metal, to which he saw [Name] rip off the metal with her bare hands.

A scary smirk emerged on her face, making Riddle gulp and back away. Something about her... it screamed for him to get away from the scary [HairColour]-[n]ette female.

“Start praying to the Great 7, because you’ll be lucky to leave with every chunk of flesh on your bones.”

The battle was extremely one-sided, as Riddle couldn’t even dream of matching her physical capabilities. Despite the magic he shot left and right at her, she either dodged, or let herself get hit right on, only to suffer near to nothing or regenerate in less than five seconds.

The only real threats she faced were back in her world, but she was in a whole new one now.

[Name] made sure to hold back, as punch after punch, kick after kick, and throw after throw, [Name] finally had Riddle was beat into submission.

He was tired, over-exerted, and in pain. [Name] was perfectly fine however, and maybe even looking a little refreshed. The rest of the witnesses were in shock though, even Ace, Deuce, and Grim. The three knew that she was strong since she was able to defeat the monster in the mine with a single punch, but this took the cake.

Slowly but surely, Riddle turned back, the magic in the atmosphere being removed. As Riddle panted on the ground, he felt her grab his arm surprisingly lightly and felt himself move in front of her.

With a smile and a much more calm face, [Name] turned around to the (terrified) crowd of students looking at her.

“I’m done!~”

One face that showed pure bliss, others showing terror, that was the beginning of the rumors of the so called ‘magicless’ prefect, also known as.

“The Demon”

[crackinwise]

This is a silly idea that wouldn't leave my head about Mondo being hesitant and Taka knowing exactly what he's about. Also I apologize to Leon.

The mixing of classes 77 & 78 in the rec room on a weekend should have been a chaotic party, but there was a certain Moral Compass in attendance who'd already vetoed many of the more rowdy ideas put forth.

The current spectacle was Nekomaru arm-wrestling Sakura. The intense screaming from the two made it sound more exciting than it was: they'd been locked in the same position for like five minutes now. At least Hina was happy cheering on Sakura's straining bicep.

Bored with it, Leon moved his eyes away from the stalemate to narrow them instead at Kiyotaka, who was being felt-up as he watched the match. Okay, not felt-up. That'd actually be fun. No, Mondo just had his hand on the hall monitor's upper back, thumb moving in slow circles.

Watching the couple in public was also a disappointment, in Leon's opinion. They'd been officially together a few months and their rules for "PDA" seemed arbitrary to anyone observing. They could look at each other in ways that'd make the most romantic person gag, but wouldn't even hold hands. It appeared Mondo was only allowed to touch Taka from the shoulder-blades up. Or that's all he had the guts to do, maybe.

Boring.

'Well,' Leon thought, 'I can at least work with this.' Messing with Mondo just enough to be entertained, but not enough to be killed, was a tightrope act. Say something the biker deemed a personal attack and he's a goner, but phrasing it as a challenge or dare could usually get Mondo to go along with anything. 'I just need the one carrying the braincell to leave.'

"Hey, Ishimaru!" Leon whispered to Kiyotaka. "I think I saw Souda spiking girls' drinks."

"WHAT!" Kiyotaka immediately left to find and possibly stomp the mechanic to death. Hopefully Ultimate Nurse Mikan was around.

"Ba--Taka?" Mondo called, confused at the sudden departure.

Leon swooped in and took his arm to pull him away from the main crowd a bit. "Mondo, buddy, want to have some fun?"

His buddy suspiciously glared down at him and answered, "Depends. What's yer idea of fun?"

Leon smiled, knowing the other's curiosity was a great sign for this plan working. "I noticed your wandering hands don't wander very far," he quickly waved his arms and continued when Mondo started puffing up to yell at him, "SO I wanna help you get them to second base tonight!"

Mondo deflated and stared.

"Y-Y'know, it's a baseball metaphor because I'm-"

"I KNOW WHAT THE FUCK SECOND BASE MEANS!" Several students turned to them, unimpressed, prompting Mondo to lower his voice again. "The hell are ya gettin at?"

"Well, either you got shy hands or Taka has you whipped. Which is it?"

"Is yer idea of fun gettin ripped in half, dude?"

"Er, let me start over," Leon back-pedaled quickly. He could do this. "What's stopping you from touching Taka more than a nervous twelve-year-old on the first date?" Shit. "Shit, wait, don't hit me! I'm just curious why you've been together so long and I've never seen your hands reach the promised land!"

The other boy paused with right arm still raised in mid-punch. "Wha?"

"By 'promised land' I mean his butt." Leon took a step backwards in case he had to dodge.

Something about that made Mondo briefly look more insecure, "One: I ain't lookin to get dumped. I still dunno how handsy he'll let me get."

Then his attack-dog mode returned and he brought his raised arm to his chest to crack his knuckles. "And two: if you've been lookin at Taka's ass, I'mma tie ya up in front of the fuckin ball machine an' leave ya there."

"What? No! Gross!" Leon had been, but it was like admiring a work of art, and also not the point. "I just want my pals happy! Trust me, every time you touch his back, go lower than before. You can watch his signals or whatever, but if you go slow it'll be fine!"

Leon was proud he sounded so supportive. It was a complete lie, of course. Leon was 99.9% sure the second Mondo passed the belt line, Kiyotaka would loudly explode at his boyfriend, making the guy explode right back, and ensuring Leon finally had his entertainment for tonight.

Leon just had to make sure he won his little Mondo game first, "You should at least try before he finds someone else man enough to grab dat a-"

"YA LITTLE SHIT!"

Whoops, Leon found himself suspended off the ground by his shirt. That's going to stretch. He shouldn't have gone the toxic masculinity route. But Mondo exhaled through his nose and set him back down when he saw Kiyotaka marching back over to them. 'Whipped.'

"Souda swore his innocence, but I've made all the ladies get new drinks to be safe! And Hiro is oddly asking everyone if they need ice but it's not for the drinks...?" Kiyotaka's expression changed from bemused to wary. "Uh, was there a problem here, Mondo?"

"Nah, y'know how Leon is," Mondo's voice was disgustingly soft all of a sudden. "C'mon, I think I see Chi playing a game."

As they walked away, Leon caught Mondo rest his hand on Taka's neck then slide down to mid-back without issue. Smirking, Leon adjusted his now loose shirt collar and followed at a distance.

An hour. A whole damn hour passed watching Mondo slowly achieve touching Kiyotaka's hip! Leon wanted to scream. He didn't mean go that slow! And Taka acted like he didn't notice or care either. Leon wished Souda really was spiking drinks so he could down three.

Sayaka appeared at Leon's side, startling the redhead. "You're disappointed in him," she stated.

"Of course I'm disappointed! Dude's a gang leader and he acts like the Ultimate Gentleman!" Wait. "Wait, what do you mean? How do you...?"

"Psychi~c," she sing-songed innocently before she pointed to the couple Leon had been stalking. When Leon looked over, Kiyotaka's hand reached back to purposefully guide Mondo's hand from his hip down the short distance to the swell of his behind, and kept it there.

What? The fuck? Happened? He'd been expecting jumping, yelling, possibly some face-slapping to get on video, but definitely wasn't expecting Taka to push Mondo to the goal line. Mondo himself looked dumbstruck.

'Sonuvabitch,' Leon thought. Good for them and all but what was he supposed to do, not tease them? He sauntered up behind the two and stage-whispered, "Oi! Ass-grabbing is not welcome in a school environment!"

They yelped and jumped apart, then just as quickly whirled on him. Mondo's red face especially said Leon was in danger, but it was Kiyotaka who spoke.

"We're outside of school hours, in the rec room among friends! If public displays of affection made you uncomfortable, you could have asked instead of disturbing your peers with vulgar mockery." His arms were crossed and his eyes appeared almost aflame. He was not happy being interrupted.

"Ha," Leon pointed at the proud model student, "It was just funny catching the school mascot initiate groping. You been wanting that a while?"

There was a low growl coming from the direction of Mondo now.

Sayaka grabbed Leon's shoulder and murmured a warning, "Kuwata, you should probably let it go."

He ignored her.

Kiyotaka's eyebrows furrowed as if ready to pounce and maul Leon's face. "It was not groping. Why is it surprising I'd want my partner to touch me?"

"Babe," Mondo had stopped growling at Leon to put all his attention on his boyfriend, "it was really ok? Ya knew what I was tryin t'do all night?"

"Of course," Taka said warmly. "You were only holding me, and I'm yours, so obviously you can-"

"M-MINE?!" Mondo honest-to-god squeaked.

Leon reacted just as loudly, "Did I just hear Taka imply his ass belongs to Mondo? Kiyotaka?? Ishimaru?!"

Whoops, he was being lifted again. Only this time Mondo brought him all the way to the door and literally threw him out.

"Owww. So much for my fun."

Sayaka sighed as she walked out to Leon and handed him something. "You can thank Hiro for the ice."

[aggravatetheaxe]

Can I have some Nick x bo thoughts? 🥺🥺 I’m intrigued

Okay I decided to just throw spaghetti for this one, so it's in the form of a chaotic bullet point list

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS THOUGHTS ABOUT NICK/BO:

i feel like there'd be little to no chance of him living without carly also being alive; if anyone was going to appeal to bo's little shreds of humanity - his sense of family - it would be a girl begging for her twin brother's life

also i just like carly so what would be the point if she wasn't there?

it would have to be rather earlier in the movie. like, there is no going back from the point they're at in the final battle, you know? no amount of begging would assuage bo and vincent from murdering them at that point

on the other hand, seeing how resilient carly and nick are is a big turning point in the movie. it's super important for not just the viewers but all the characters to see how well they work in tandem. i wouldn't want to take that away from them

so maybe the best of both worlds would be if carly and nick decided to turn the tables on the boys after they shoot bo and he passes out in the theater?

like what if when he passed out, they tied him up and used him to lure vincent, and there was some kind of tense bargaining situation?

or, ooh ooh ooh, what if: so bo has carly down in his dungeon and nick can't get her out, so instead he captures one of the sinclair brothers and that's the trade off? carly's life for bo's or whatever?

then carly and nick aren't in a position where they can leave ambrose, but the brothers aren't necessarily in a position to kill them either

idk neither of those are perfect scenarios, but suspend disbelief with me

this would be Slow Burn. HELLA Slow Burn enemies to lovers. which i love, so

bo would hate nick on principle because he's the one bastard they couldn't take down, and he's just some fucking guy from florida. plus he's a cocky asshole who has a problem with authority, and though bo kens that, it also drives him FUCKING INSANE when he is the authority figure

nick would hate bo because, well, it's obvious: bo killed some of his closest friends, including dalton, who nick may or may not have had romantic tension with; and wade, his sister's boyfriend. to say nothing of the fact that bo hunted, kidnapped, and tied up his sister with the intention of torturing her later

who would break first? i think bo would. bo's hatred of nick is the principle of the thing, an almost puerile anger that he was outsmarted; nick's hatred of bo is deeply personal

but! that would give bo some time to come to terms with being bisexual. nick doesn't need as much time to come to terms with that, so by the time they hooked up, they'd be on more or less the same page with everything

would it start out as hate sex? almost certainly. they're both so fucking frustrated they feel this way. it might even happen on accident tbh

bo would be completely oblivious to the fact that nick was kind of with dalton/had romantic tension with him. nick would have to be like "??? dude. that was basically my boyfriend what the fuck"

does bo feel remorse for killing people? no, not usually. does he eventually come to feel remorse for killing these particular people? well... yes and no. if he hadn't, he'd never have met nick. but it's a real pain in the ass for your boyfriend and his sister to hate you for killing all their friends, when someone else's friends woulda done just as well

god they butt heads so much. they're both have an extreme aversion to authority, though i would argue nick's is a little more combative. nick doesn't care what punishment he gets - he sees himself as above punishment, uncontrollable - while bo has been taught to fear punishment and has a strong sense of "respect." it is possible to make bo bend under your authority; i don't think it's possible to do it to nick, at least not in the same way

Florida Man. that's all i have to say on that

despite butting heads though, they also have a hell of a lot in common. they were both considered the "evil twin" at ages when they literally couldn't help themselves and needed help, love, and compassion. now they've grown to be men who genuinely do bad things because of the preconceived notions and perceptions of others

the difference between them, though, is that bo comes off as a nice guy but he's actually a MONSTER. nick comes off as a huge creep and a punk, he does shitty things to make himself seem hard and cool, but inside he's a good person. they're foils of each other and that's always sexy

their foil is all about redemption and presentation vs action but maybe i'm projecting

they are foils though so they have some core things in common: strong love for their family, specifically their respective twins; dedication and steadfastness; perseverance in the face of death; quick wit and cleverness, fast thinking; finally, a tendency to say mean things that they either regret later or don't actually mean, in an attempt to protect themselves from being vulnerable

i don't know if these two would ever be truly happy with one another - it would be a tumultuous relationship for sure - but they would understand each other in a lot of ways

and most importantly? bo might realize that, after everything he went through in his life, he made the choice to be a serial killer and torturer. things could have been different

whether or not anything would actually change, i'm not sure, but he MIGHT realize how deep a hole he truly dug himself

but he's too far in now, nothing to do about it, ya know?

if more people came through ambrose, nick and carly would be right there trying to help them escape. come hell or high water, no matter the consequences, they would try to help, even if they could never truly escape themselves

nick would bargain, beg, and steal to earn carly the right to go see their parents (or any other privilege). she should be allowed to be free even if he's not. he's very self sacrificing

okay so that was very chaotic but i hope you enjoyed some of my Thoughts!

[where-dreamers-go]

James Conrad x Fem!Reader (Soulmate AU) Part One

(A/N: I wanted to experiment with another soulmate alternative universe. Predominantly in James’ point of view. This has been (slowly) in the works for a long while. Again, I went back to this now in 2021 when this was typed from a notebook in 2019. I kind of forgot about this one…my bad. So this is for @girl-next-door-writes Bingo Challenge~! Yeah, I know I have a few other insert readers that I’m working on, but this one was basically finished and I can’t believe I forgot about it. Part One, Erica? Yeah, I know...we get there when we get there. Bingo Card: Soulmates Warnings: Brief and vague mentions of people not surviving on Skull Island. Word Count: 3,246 words )

A world with ancient creatures long forgotten and slowly being remembered was an intricate puzzle. There were believers, those who were neutral, and those who spit negativity at the notion of something against their beliefs.

A society and world where soulmates could found one another on their own was exciting for the hopeful. Bioluminescent glow of the skin acted as a compass with one’s soulmate in place of North. A part of the body closest to the direction of one’s soulmate would glow. It could be the tip of a nose, an extended elbow, or any small pinpoint glow unless one’s soulmate was closer. The more near to one’s soulmate, the larger the glowing area. 

✧ ✧ ✧

James’ skin never glowed more than the size of a small coin. He had traveled more than the average citizen. He had been a captain, Special Operations, but was a civilian once more as a hirable tracker. Yet agreeing to go aboard his last job changed everything. What he knew about the world and her creatures was altered. Skull Island was only a part of it all.

On top of being forced into Monarch’s containment and learning that there were other monsters out there around the world—his skin was glowing in large patches. It was distracting for himself and those with him. The others were getting quite interested and offering to help. As it had been glowing more noticeably since he and Mason were briefed on the ancient super species.

“I can handle it. Let’s stay on topic, shall we?” James asked, as he walked out of the concrete holding room.

“Are you sure? Because—,” the boy, Houston, swallowed his words at the quick glance from James. “Right.”

It was no secret that the two scientists, Houston Brooks and San Lin, found James’ glowing skin to be a big deal. Seeing someone’s skin glow about the size of their hand was nothing to ignore. Yet that was what James intended to do. There were larger situations to consider, especially as the two scientists took Mason and James to another area—finally—once they were on board.

“More of your skin is glowing,” said Mason, her voice hushed.

“I know.” James stated, but not as flatly as he intended to end the conversation.

“I wonder who it is,” Houston stated.

“Someone in Monarch definitely,” San added.

“Again, may we stay on topic?” James looked pointedly at each of his companions.

“Sorry.”

“Yes.”

He did not have a clear idea where they were being lead in the government building, but he did know it would lead to more information on the matters Monarch was involved in.

✧ ✧ ✧

Work had been left ignored, procrastinated for hours. Your eyes studying your own skin as its bioluminescence when you had walked through the compound and as you sat in your small office.

You were brought into Monarch almost a year ago with promises of knowledge and helping others. Your curiosity had sucked you in. It was a home, workplace, and life like no other. There were many surreal moments, definitely, considering ancient creatures not being just legends. Something a zoologist like yourself dove into researching.

You were happy. You had a purpose of helping others. The more you learned and researched, the more you felt actually fulfilled. Also, the more paperwork and notes you had pinned to the wall and filed onto your desk.

Seeing your skin’s soulmate glow broaden in size seemed more otherworldly than writing down a wingspan for Mothra.

Sighing, you rotated your forearm as the glow spread to your bicep.

This week just keeps getting more intense, you thought. First an expedition on Skull Island, now—

Knock knock

You quickly rolled down the sleeves of your shirt.

“Hey, (Y/N).” Houston walked in through the open doorway, “got a minute?”

“Sure.” You answered, standing from your seat.

Three more people walked into your office, one of which you recognized as San.

“May I help you?” You asked as you made an effort not to make any direct eye contact with the newcomers for at least a moment longer.

“Ah…” His eyes were on the man he had brought with him.

“Houston?”

He coughed before speaking and turning his attention elsewhere, “This is Mason Weaver—.”

“Hi.” Mason waved, a woman with dirty blonde hair.

“Hi,” you smiled and waved in return. The glow appearing out of your hand. You quickly tucked your hands behind your back. A glow then brightening your face.

“—And…this is James Conrad.”

“Hi.” The tall man swallowed dryly, his face and neck glowing warmly. Extremely obviously.

Oh, dear, you thought.

Clearly, out of everything that happened in the past week, he was not prepared for meeting his soulmate. Neither were you.

“Hi.” Your voice lacked the strength you were hoping to pull out of yourself for one second away from your work. Although it did not seem to hurt any of the introductions.

Quiet quickly took over your small office. Multiple pairs of eyes looked between you and the Mister Conrad. With your desk behind you, you were a cornered little mammal.

“So, what’s your job here?” Mason asked, breaking through the other’s silent stares.

“I’m a zoologist and here at Monarch I try to figure out how these species live—survive in their environments. Hoping to learn about their evolution and habits. Basically the animal kingdom.” You answered, your shoulders slacking some.

“She also has an interest in mythology, which is a great help to us,” Houston piped up.

“If I was more into cryptology it would make this a little more fun. If not give me a small head start when I first came here.”

“Speaking of head start…How much time do you think we have?” Mason asked.

“Time… Uh. Considering we survived this long as a species, how technology is progressing, and how your expedition unearthed some of the creatures….I would say that we still have time before the world—our society as a whole—knows them as facts. That much can be said.”

“That’s good news.”

“But that doesn’t mean all humans or even our technology will be prepared for their arrival or even living amongst them.”

“I’m not sure I want to live next door to one of them,” Houston pointed out.

“The creatures already live here. They were here first.” San added.

“We are the ones who must adapt.” James said, arms crossed over his chest.

Your breath came in quickly as your eyes reminded you of the man’s own bioluminescence. It covered all of his arms’ skin that was visible from his short-sleeve shirt. Mesmerizing you in thoughts that seemed too supernatural and much too distracting for the topic at hand.

“Are we not gonna talk about you two’s skins glowing?” Houston asked, jolting you out of your thoughts.

You straightened up hastily.

“Learning all we can about ancient creatures that could possibly destroy the human race and other creatures of the world comes first.” You said, though perhaps more to yourself. It wasn’t entirely a ‘no’.

“Agreed.” James stated, arms still crossed and glowing.

You had only taken a glimpse at him from the corner of your eye.

“Alright,” Houston drew out the word. “The world is top priority.”

“As it should,” San added. “And we should show Mason and James the other wing. Show them their rooms and where they can eat.”

“It was nice meeting you,” Mason said as she turned towards the door.

“Likewise,” you smiled.

“A pleasure,” James said shortly before leaving just before Mason.

Houston and San gave their short goodbyes as they left you to your work.

You plopped down onto your chair. Heart thumping loudly in your chest, you shuttered as you let out a breath of air.

“He’s here.”

✧ ✧ ✧

Mason and James were shown more of the facility on the way to the living area. A whole opposite wing inside of the secret facility where those in Monarch could stay. It was impressive. Their separate rooms would be the final stop on the tour.

James wondered if there would be no leaving that place. After time, would he want to?

I’m going to have to help people. I’m alright with that. If they need help—the world, I’ll do what I can. He thought as he counted off the doors they passed.

Houston and San lead the way.

“I can’t believe you didn’t stay and talk with her,” Mason declared from beside James. “Actually I can. Nevermind.”

“There’s no time.” James said.

“That’s a poor excuse for someone who just heard that we do have time. Years even.”

“But would it be worth it?” He countered.

“That’s up to you and her. You could also learn a lot more about this place.”

“I think I’ve heard enough about this place for one day.”

He knew that Mason was trying to bait him, but also to genuinely help. It wasn’t an everyday thing to hear about someone finding their soulmate; let alone see it happen.

It had to happen this way, didn’t it?

When night fell and James was finally alone, he was reminded of everything he had pushed to the back of his mind. Well fed and cleaned up, he laid in bed. He could not help but to stare at the glowing of his skin on his left side. It meant that you did not leave the facility either. Could you though? He reached out his left arm and watched as his entire hand glowed. Bright whites and warm yellow tones. Even when he was in the UK his skin never glowed more than the size of his thumb. His soulmate was there. Alive and healthy.

He sighed.

Normally he would not even think about his soulmate or even remember about a glowing patch of his skin because it was always out of sight or not enough to notice. Too many changes and discoveries. Then he met you. However brief of a meeting, James had felt something spark in his mind and his veins. Somewhere in him, he felt a connection. An interest that rooted itself inside of him where he could not see.

Closing his eyes, James settled with his thoughts.

She’s safe. That’s what’s important.

✧ ✧ ✧

James awakened from his half-sleep state from a knocking on the room’s only door. Rolling out of bed, he walked to see who needed to see him. It was not until his entire front was glowing brighter than yesterday did he know for certain who was behind the door. He flicked on the room light. Sleep faded from his mind completely.

He took a breath in.

Upon opening the door, he did not mind greeting who he saw.

“Good morning.”

“Good morning,” you smiled all tense with your face all aglow.

A small smile curled his lips.

Guess it didn’t take her long to figure out which room I was in.

“I’m sorry if it’s too early.” You said, voice hushed.

“It’s fine. Truly.”

“I was just…wondering if you were okay.”

He could of laughed at the statement, but he chose against it.

“Considering I was lucky to return alive from an island full of monsters, was taken against my will to be brought here, was shown a presentation of other monsters on the planet, and still haven’t left this place—I would have to say that simply ‘okay’ doesn’t quite fit.”

Silence filled the hall.

James felt a twinge of guilt seeing the mixture of hurt on your face unfiltered. Your fingers intertwined tightly. He waited to hear what you would say.

You finally found words you wanted to share, “Monarch tends to be a bit dramatic and secretive, but I think that’s because it’s difficult for Monarch as a whole to find people they can trust.”

“They seem to trust you a great deal.”

“I’ve just gathered information. I’m a zoologist and I also want to make sense of what our world really is—but that doesn’t mean I’ll figure out everything we should even know about one of these creatures. I do my best. I don’t go out recruiting or anything. I haven’t even been out in the field in months.”

He saw more than he had yesterday how the subjects at hand were making you distressed. Seen from how your eyes looked panicked and you hid your hands in the sleeves of your sweater.

“I’m sorry for what you went through on the island. No one should have gotten hurt or…,” your voice trailed off.

“Each of us knew the risks—to a degree.”

“But you weren’t told the truth. It wasn’t fair.”

James leaned against the doorway. New thoughts coming forward in his mind.

“Were you available to go to Skull Island?”

“I—,” you cocked your head at him before your eyes glanced elsewhere. “Bill Randa told me to look over my research. Basically like writing a second draft to a paper. He told me that I was missing something. But…we didn’t have any new information coming in at the time.”

“Any chance he was wary of whether or not you would have told those he hired why we were really there?”

That would have been helpful. But Houston and San did not say anything either.

“I…I don’t know. I’ve never told a secret before. Not that any of this is really a secret. It’s more like myths and stories that people wouldn’t likely believe at first glance.”

He watched as you rubbed your arms still deep in thought.

James straightened up.

“Would you care to come in? I think we’ve stood out here long enough.” He smiled.

You smiled kindly in return.

“Would it be alright if we talked about something other than monsters?” You inquired.

“Sure. Did you have anything in mind?” He dearly hoped you were not going to ask about the War or that part of his past that interested most others.

No doubt she had heard something from Houston or San. Or she asked.

To his surprise and only partial relief, you held up a single glowing finger.

Right. That.

James’ chest rose and fell before he nodded in agreement. The man moved back inside the room given to him and held the door open as you gingerly entered.

As you passed him the side of your face glowed a bright white that his eyes seemed to follow without a second thought.

Seconds ticked by and you were both still standing around and not sure what to do as you both glowed, keeping a distance.

You rose your eyebrows, amused with the silence.

One of us has to say something, he thought.

What was there to say? It was not the most ideal of circumstances around.

“I…I must apologize for being so blunt when we met.” James said. “Everything has just been adding up and piling on more information. I didn’t want to put any of that emotion towards you. None of this was expected.”

“It’s alright. I mean, I always figured I’d miss my chance at meeting my—uh, you know…”

James nodded.

“Because of my work and usually being inside or one place. Not really moving around. Plus I figured I’d somehow walk right passed or something and not notice because I’m focused on other things.”

“Your work is important to you. That’s good.”

“Yeah,” you smiled a bit as you rested your hands on your hips. “Nothing like good work ethic in something your interested in. Though right now it’s quite the topics.”

Narrowing his eyes for a moment, James figured you were talking about more than just monsters. About him, perhaps?

We keep dancing around the soulmate subject. What do we even want? What do I want?

“It’d been nice to focus on other things.” You said.

What?

The corner of your lips quirked up as you looked at him.

“Things about what other people do or are interested in.” You clarified. You had read his expression well enough.

“I’m not sure what information I could offer.” James stated softly. “I was still a tracker for hire when Monarch offered me the job.” He had not entirely wanted to bring that up to you, however there was not much else. How personal did he want to be? This was the most time he had spent in your presence since meeting you the day before. To him, you did not seem the radical type like those he encountered while on Skull Island. Time would tell when he would open up more to you. Even the whole soulmate subject was a heavy topic.

You seemed determined enough to push through the conversation.

“Could…,” you pressed your lips together in a tight line. Eyes no longer meeting his. “This is probably extremely personal, but—if you wanted to…would you had been able to find me on your own?”

“The glowing would had made it exceedingly easier. Yes.”

You nodded, taking in his words.

“Would you?” He asked.

Eyes returning to his, your shoulders perked higher. You shook your head.

“Even working for Monarch, I couldn’t.” You said quietly. “I think it worked out though.” You shrugged, trying to defend your happiness of meeting James.

She really is happy to have met me. Finding me though…That’s what I figured, he thought. She can’t travel the world with her expertise without support. She couldn’t have been able to find me in Vietnam. Seeing her office, she probably would had been helpful on the trip. He froze at his thoughts. No. That would had been terrible.

“I know that we agreed not to speak about any more monsters, however,” he inhaled visibly, “I am glad that you were not on that expedition.”

“Why?” Your question was out of curiosity not pride.

“Your presence would had made it more complicated. None of it would have been of your own doing. Rather, uh, the stakes would have been higher. Greater.”

Just the start of his mind thinking about if you there bothered him. The creatures, the people, unknown environment they found themselves in, and the secrets that were held.

“Oh…that sort of makes sense.”

“Sorry,” he took a step closer to you. “It’s just there were guns being pointed to anyone who disagreed with the Lieutenant Colonel. And if you were there I’m sure he would have used you as leverage or had threatened you or worse. Our glowing skins would have made us easy targets.”

“Not to forget the wildlife as I heard briefly.”

“That too. I’m so glad you weren’t there and I say that with much respect to you.”

“Thank you,” you said quietly.

That didn’t sound forward, did it?

“At least this is a much more safer environment to get to know one another.” James said.

At the closer proximity he could see that even the tip of your nose was glowing. He had never seen someone’s entire face illuminated before. To know it was from his presence, gave him an emotion he could not immediately place.

“How long do you plan on staying?”

The question struck him deep. James had not even left Vietnam when the war was over and even in Monarch he was not sure where he would stay. Was there a place for him in Monarch? He was a tracker and they were discovering monsters who lived below the Earth’s surface. He could find work there, but could he find a life there?

“As long as I am needed.”

~~~

(If you love my writings and want to support me, I have a Ko-Fi where you can buy me a coffee. I would be eternally grateful.

Best wishes and happy reading.)

~~~~~

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[armandclocksitall]

Watch The Night Go Up In Smoke (Chapter 2)

Paul(The Lost Boys) x Frog! Reader (gender neutral)

Warnings: underage drinking, some mind control, puking, driving under the influence

So you get to see the guys in this chapter, very little Marko which is sad but he’ll definitely play a bigger part once the story gets rolling so don’t worry, it’s coming.

>Previous Chapter<

Mikayla and (Y/N) climbed out of the vehicle and made their way to the beach where a giant bonfire was roaring away as teenagers and 20-somethings raged around it already completely wasted and ready to have the best night of their lives.

It was well past midnight when (Y/N) was sipping on only their second drink of the night, they were buzzed but still very much coherent and aware of their surroundings. Mikayla was a completely different story, she had jumped straight into drinking as soon as they reached the party. She had absolutely no issue socializing with complete strangers either. It was like she was a magnet for attention.

(Y/N) had prayed that tonight would change their social status but with every person that walked up and sparked a conversation with their cousin, they reverted further into their shell. Nobody even took notice of them and they had to admit, it kinda hurt.

(Y/N) had almost completely lost hope when a group of four boys approached them. They walked with such an air of confidence, (Y/N) begged whatever higher power there was for them to at least acknowledge them and it seemed that that plea might’ve been answered.

“Hey, you two look like you’re having fun,” the biker with the fluffed blonde hair said. Mikayla giggled drunkenly as her eyes wandered to the tallest of the group with the flowing dark tresses.

(Y/N) stood shocked, he was speaking directly to them. They quickly unfroze and stuttered out awkwardly, “Yeah, we’re having the absolute time of our lives right now.” The teenager cringed in embarrassment as the Twisted Sister look-alike laughed.

Mikayla, who was previously leaning on her cousin’s shoulder to stop herself from face-planting in the sand strutted up to the boy she was previously eyeing and wrapped a piece of his hair around her pointer finger flirtily, “I could think of something more fun that you and I could do. My name’s Mikayla.”

(Y/N)’s face lit up bright red at their cousin’s words as they rushed over to her and tugged her away from the leather-clad biker. “I am so sorry about her, she’s definitely drunk enough for tonight,” they apologized quickly.

The four boys laughed at the two of them, amused by their dynamic. The biker who stood closest to them smiled at (Y/N), “Don’t worry about it, at least you know she has taste.” (Y/N) laughed lightly at his statement.

The first boy walked up to (Y/N) and threw an arm over their shoulder, “I don’t know about that, Dwayne. I mean how could she possibly have taste if she didn’t even throw herself at me?” he laughed before turning to (Y/N), their faces only inches away from one another. “You get what I mean, right?”

(Y/N)’s face flushed as another member of the group, this one with a platinum blonde mullet and completely clad in black, spoke up, “Leave the poor kid alone, Paul. We don’t need them fainting on us.” He gazed at (Y/N), his bright blue eyes seemed to pierce into their very soul, “You two do seem like a good time though and you don’t seem to be having the most fun here. I know a place we could all go and let loose, just a little intimate party for the six of us if you’re down for it.”

(Y/N) felt their mind go fuzzy for a few seconds as they actually considered leaving with this group of boys but those thoughts were quickly torn away as they felt Mikayla’s body next to them start to fold in on itself. She heaved over and let loose the contents of her stomach all over the sand at their feet.

The four bikers all looked shocked at the scene in front of them as (Y/N) went into protective mode over their cousin. They held her hair back and held her up by the waist as she continued to gag.

The teenager looked up at the boys, “Sorry but we’re gonna have to pass up that offer, I really should get my cousin home. Maybe we can hang out some other time?”

They all nodded as Mikayla finally managed to get a hold of herself and (Y/N) began to usher her away from the party.

David spoke before they were able to completely get away, “Nice jacket by the way.”

(Y/N) nodded, confused as to why he’d bring up their jacket at such a random time, “Uh, thanks, I guess.”

“Aww come on, (Y/N), I wanna hang out with them,” Mikayla whined as (Y/N) readjusted the girl on their shoulder and continued the walk towards the girl’s jeep.

Mikayla was leaned up against the vehicle as (Y/N) searched her pockets for the keys to the car. Finally fishing them out, they unlocked the car and (Y/N) helped their cousin into the passenger side. They walked around the front and hopped into the driver’s side as Mikayla was struggling to buckle her seatbelt.

Her head lolled to the side as she looked at her cousin pathetically while holding out the buckle of her seatbelt, “Please help.”

(Y/N) rolled their eyes and buckled Mikayla’s seatbelt and then their own and started the car.

“We totally should’ve gone with them,” she pouted looking out the window towards the boardwalk.

“Kay, you literally hit on one of them and then proceeded to vomit all over the place. I’m taking you home for a reason.” (Y/N) said incredulously.

“Well yeah, my chances were completely blown, but I brought you here so that you could get a social life. The pretty one was totally hitting on you, what was his name again? Saul?”

“Paul. His name was Paul.”

“See you care enough about him that you bothered to actually remember his name. If you two don’t hang out soon, I’ll scream. You two would be so cute together, with him being all outgoing and flirty and with you being more introverted and shy. He could finally pull you out of your shell,” she rambled obviously still under the influence. (Y/N) shook their head, letting silence fill the vehicle.

“Where did you say we were going again?” Mikayla slurred, looking at her cousin.

“I’m taking you home, your dad would kill us if he found out we both snuck out and never came back home.”

Mikayla gasped, shooting up in her seat, “No! You can’t take me home, he’ll kill me for being drunk!”

“I think he’d prefer seeing you drunk than seeing you on a missing person’s poster. He might be mad but at least he’ll know that you made it home safe, I’m trying to be responsible here, Mikayla.”

The girl slumped in her seat, scowling at her cousin and their stupid moral compass. They had pulled into the driveway of the Emerson house as (Y/N) noticed the living room light on, “Looks like you’re busted either way.” Mikayla groaned.

The two of them hopped out of the vehicle, (Y/N) passing the keys to their cousin which she fumbled terribly. They walked up to the front door which was unlocked and made their walk of shame into the living room where Sam Emerson was lounged on a recliner watching reruns on the TV. He glanced up at his daughter noticing the kid of his best friend next to her.

He spoke to his daughter in a stern voice, “You had your mother and I worried sick when we found your bed empty and window open. We’ll talk about this in the morning, now go to your room.” He didn’t give her the opportunity to explain herself. She nodded her head solemnly and stumbled up the steps up to her room.

Sam turned his head to (Y/N), “Does your father know where you are?” They shook their head. Sam nodded in understanding, “Let me get my shoes and jacket, I’ll give you a ride home.”

They were driving through the streets back to the Frog household when Sam spoke up, “Mind telling me what tonight was all about?”

(Y/N), not used to being in trouble, immediately spilled the beans, “Mikayla wanted to help me sneak out so we could go to this party on the beach so I could meet people and become more social. Everything was going fine until she accidentally drank too much. Then she hit on this guy and ended up puking in front of him so I took her home.”

Sam looked at (Y/N) with wide eyes, surprised at how easy it was to get the full story out of them. He sighed and turned his eyes back to the road before stopping at the end of (Y/N)’s street, “I appreciate you telling me the truth, so for that, I won’t be telling Edgar what happened tonight. While I don’t approve of the way you went about things, I’m glad that you’re trying to open yourself to other people. Just be careful around people around the beach and boardwalk, there’s a lot of weirdos in Santa Carla that you don’t need to get wrapped up in okay?”

(Y/N) nodded quickly before throwing themself over the center console and hugging their uncle around the neck tightly, “Thank you so much, Uncle Sam. I promise I’ll be careful and hopefully, this never happens again.”

He smiled softly at the teenager, “Good, now you better get home before your dad realizes you’re gone.”

(Y/N) quickly hopped out of the car and waved goodbye to their uncle before walking down the street and creeping back in through their window into their bedroom where the lights were still off and the door still locked. They had made it back and nothing bad happened.

It was 3 am when (Y/N) finally settled into bed. Just as they shut their eyes, their imagination began to act up. What might’ve happened if they had gone with those boys. The thought made them queasy. They were so willing to go before Mikayla got sick, (Y/N) felt like their thoughts were completely out of control. Thinking of David made their stomach churn with uneasiness. Something about him seemed dangerous, even deadly. Then (Y/N) remember him, Paul.

His hand around their shoulder, the look in his eyes, everything about him seemed to reel (Y/N). It took everything in them to not lean in further when their faces were so close together.

(Y/N) felt their stomach flutter at the thought. Maybe Mikayla was right, they could be good together.

>Next Chapter<

[mc-critical]

I really don’t understand the amount of people who apparently dislike Mihrimah for not giving Rüstem a chance/not having Rüstem grow on her. I don’t know entirely how I feel about Mihrimah as a character but I feel like if you were to dislike her that’d be a silly reason. It was a opportunistic marriage, one she never wanted and to a man she never loved. Not to mention he was also borderline pedophilic (when he said to her on her wedding night that he had been “waiting for this moment for years” when she was 17..okay) and then coercing her into consumating the marriage through the threat of suicide. Sure, the circumstances of Rüstem’s life were sad, but I don’t understand how that entails him being *entitled* to Mihrimah’s love or affection. And if anything I found Rüstem to be misogynistic and possibly even abusive, which likely made marriage to him all the worse. Mihrimah’s definitely not perfect or above criticism, but that doesn’t mean she owed any man love, sex or affection, royal borne woman or not.

I don't understand them, either. Because this is the last thing Mihrimah should be disliked for.

Rüstem is a very odious character with minimal redeeming qualities. His supposed love for Mihrimah is established disturbingly early on and while that may have fled over the audience's heads (it sure did fly over my head when I first watched the show!) because their marriage is a historical fact and as such, is automatically considered the normal course of things - the questionable pedophilic implications are definitely there and send off the alarming signs of utterly problematic behavior. Sure, he's done his duty by saving her after she fell off a horse and (little!) Mihrimah thanked him for it, but it is clearly seen in his eyes by the second episode he's on-screen that there's something more and something baffling when the girl is so young. And it only escalated from there.

Obviously, most of his fanbase ignores or flat out misses this aspect of his character, but I also find people that think that his attitude to Mihrimah is the only bad thing about Rüstem when I find most of his negative traits to be present outside of Mihrimah, but with her witnessing them. I feel the connection to Iskender Çelebi and the way he bacame the stable-man of the castle are his most important character establishing moments: they shine a light into his sneakiness and ability to play dirty, but also reveal his immediate prejudice against Ibrahim. The ambition, similar to Hürrem's, but not for the same reasons, is set up from the get-go. He's seemingly following Iskender, just like he comes to seemigly follow Hürrem, but he always forges his own path for his own gain. His alleged "loyalty" is the thing that Rüstem usually gets the most credit for, but while he begins to look like Hürrem's loyal companion that shall fulfill her every order, this whole facade is deconstructed and ultimately, totally broken apart in S04. His character establishing moments recontextualize all the decisions he makes in that season and show the true nature of his ambition: he followed Hürrem when she prevailed over everyone, he followed her when she seemingly gave him the world and all the desired power and when she and the one she wanted for the throne were put into a disadvantaged position and Selim got the upper hand, he ran straight for the opportunity, despite of him making an oath in front of the Quran not to do that. He turns out to be simply an opportunist hyena who works only for his own gain. Nothing more. Just like he saw the opportunity to get rid of the stable-man before him in the past, now he sees the opportunity to be on the winning side again with Selim. He doesn't care who is he in front of and who he promised what, as long as they're of no use to him, he bails. His "loyalty" immediately disappears from his positive traits, because it turns out he never had it in the first place. People praise him for his loyalty for Mihrimah, but that "loyalty" also lasted so long - when he found out that she wouldn't ever come to love him, he began to bang with Gracia Mendez, in conjunction with the betrayal of what Hürrem stood up for. Now, tell me, how can Mihrimah love such a guy? That was one of the only reasons she tolerated him and when even that was lost, how can she still keep her ties with him?

[His backstory is sad indeed, but the only thing it does is put his actions into perspective, not justify them or make him likeable somehow. Especially when what that "character lore dump" specifically explains is his refusal to tell Nigar where her daughter is - the backstory makes that action logical for his character, but it's still framed as nothing short of spiteful. That said, he still does have some soft sides and the arc with his brother is where I found him the most sympathetic - this is the time Rüstem actually showed vulnerability without false alarms or disguise and his brother was probably the only thing that was precious to him and stayed precious after all these years, consistently throughout his screentime. What helps even more, is the brother's role as a moral compass and the last bridge between the past/his loyalties and the future/the victories he would achieve through opportunism. That was the last gasp of what was left of his possible humanity and after his brother was killed, he let it go almost instantly, because... well, after he willingly chose his own life in the saray, he might as well continue to live it, right? Him saving a boy in S03 without any hesitation whatsoever, was also respectable. But these demonstrations of a softer side of his being are also taking place outside of Mihrimah, but with her not witnessing them altogether. And they do little in changing the general impression of Rüstem's character and his relationship with Mihrimah.]

We have to keep in mind that Mihrimah's whole S03 arc was finding purpose in her life and finding true love. She had many love stories throughout the series with different people, different personalities and different motives to try to make it work with them. No matter what they've went through together and despite of them all having the same outcomes due to different outside (and inside) factors, there is a reason she fell for these people in the first place. Okay, while for Bali Bey it was a bizarre, puppy, immature, childish love, for Taşlicalı something truly genuine began to flourish with all the glances, poems, dedication (Mahidevran succeeded to break them up, but it's not to be denied that Taşlicalı was very hard to convince and he was still thinking of her afterwards) and sweet words. She got a call for a new adventure with him. Bali Bey, on the other hand, was adored by her mostly for his handsomeness, I feel, but even when he tore all her dreams apart, he showed tact and respect. What I mean to say is, if Rüstem has qualities that are "worthy of Mihrimah", wouldn't she see them? Wouldn't she see all these virtues? Because all she sees before the marriage are his words that she will marry him, that she will be his and that's it. The best she sees of him is his good manners when he asks her whether she wants something or stuff, but he could do that with everyone else, knowing his post, and the previous implications make even that alone head scratching. Why would she want a man like that? I agree with all your points. Are you, people, denying Mihrimah her feelings? She realized the potential advantages of this marriage and agreed to do it regardless, why does she have to come to love him when he truly gives her no real reasons to, even before she married him?

I believe Rüstem cares about Mihrimah, albeit in his own distorted, toxic way, but in reality, he didn't do her any good. His relationship with Mihrimah revels in manipulation and facades for her to keep, because she has to "protect" her brothers. Rüstem never actually took account of her own feelings or opinions on matters, especially when what she proposed wasn't an opportunistic enough option for him to afford. Their interactions are mostly focused on the survival of the game and the actions that have to be taken to achieve that. He often puts an unbelievable amount of pressure on her, which while given because of the system they live in, hurt more than it helped. Their relationship was never allowed to flourish in a healthy manner and Mihrimah could never be truly herself in it, not even for a moment. The castle she lived in, her home, was merely full of tension every day, not a source of comfort. His stoic, serious cunning contrasts with her own spirit. Not to mention that it always seemed he considered his marriage to Mihrimah as a price, a goal he had finally achieved and I doubt that she wasn't aware of it to some extent. The root of the marriage is only political opportunism and no matter how hard you try, you simply cannot force a person to love someone they're with only out of sheer necessity, only for a purpose for "the greater good". Rüstem never did anything to earn Mihrimah's love and she shouldn't be hated for not loving him. This is what MC Rüstem is as a character, whether we like it or not, and he isn't a healthy person for Mihrimah. If she couldn't warm up to him when she fully got to know him in their alone time, that means something is missing. That means he just isn't for her and. that's. OKAY.

But there may be reasons why some people could dislike Mihrimah because of it. I offer my experience with cases I've encountered in forums: these people are usually very invested in Hürrem's character to the point they view everything she does as excusable, at the least, so of course they would want to justify Hürrem marrying Mihrimah to Rüstem. But plainly selfish political gain is no justification and that may leave cracks in their view of Hürrem and it all may disturb them to a great amount. That's why they channel this ire on Mihrimah and perhaps demand for her to warm up to Rüstem, so they get the justification Hürrem supposedly deserves, especially paralleled with Valide and Mahidevran's previous attempt to marry Aybige and Mustafa, who.. surprise, surprise (but not really), didn't love each other. There's another facet to this, with people seeing or wanting to see Mihri only as "her mother's daughter" and not wanting to marry, not loving Rüstem destroys that picture, because there's a "crack in the system", she doesn't listen to her mother, who obviously knows better and that could be disappointing or demotivating, given the expectations she has set when she defended her in E84. Or maybe they dislike Mihrimah for not loving Rüstem, because they do find something in him. They love "bad boys" and genuinely don't know why Mihrimah doesn't, either and that could make them see her as an annoyance. Or maybe they just anticipate more juicy scenes between her and Rüstem because of the probable chemistry between the two actors and if they watch it only for the spectacle (believe me, such people really exist!), they may insist that Mihrimah is only spoiled and ruined everything for them. Or maybe, again, people may find this insulting to the historical facts or whatnot and if Mihrimah didn't not stand him, this "mess" of writing could be fixed a little. The writers have ruined her character along with the history, according to them. It's absurd, I know and I don't get it, either, but the reasons are there, as far as I'm concerned. That still doesn't take away from the fact that this is the weirdest accusation you could throw at Mihrimah, with how Rüstem himself is.

You're right that Mihrimah has many other, vastly more offputting traits that she could be disliked for. Little Mihrimah is very brash and spoiled and entitled, to the point she gave her own mother a run for her money. That was gone when she grew up, but it would be understandable if some didn't actually believe the change, especially when she shows this side of hers again every now and then. She could be perceptive, but could also be prone to influence at the same time, sometimes to an annoying degree. There have been times where she has let her own bias lead her and that clouded her judgement in several occasions. She came to idealize her mother too much sometimes, as well. She was terribly insistent on her infatuation with Bali Bey and letting go of it took her very long. She didn't want to listen much to the enemies of her own mother. Her huge love for Bayezid prevented her from viewing Selim as objectively. She could be vengeful. She could be bossy. She couldn't fully face someone calling her out on her mistakes. (the confrontation with Selim in E139) She became so engrained to her castle life that when she was offered a way out, she didn't follow it. All these are very interesting character flaws for me, but I get why they might be a dealbreaker. But disliking or hating her for not loving Rüstem? Heck, hating her for her contribution to Mustafa's death alone is more valid than that! Disliking her for all these flaws piling up together is perfectly reasonable. But for this? It's strange.