#compared to now where they're just a given feature

[freaky-flawless]

When it comes to the whole "object heels" thing, my opinion is basically that sometimes they're clever and cool, and sometimes they're a little too on the nose where they just come across as kinda corny (and downright ugly in some cases)

Overall though, I think the designers at Mattel are over-relying on them right now for Skullector dolls, to the point where they're not really exciting. You can design really cool shoes without defaulting to just slapping an overly complicated shape as a heel and calling it a day. Gen 1, and even Gen 3, have plenty of examples.

[godmadeaterribleerror]

Just Too Important - A No Love Lost Bonus Chapter

Series Masterlist

Read on A03!

Author's Note: They're back! They're obsessed with each other! Ben once again is proving that he's the grumpiest old man to ever grumpy old man! Enjoy!

Title from Snooze by SZA

Word Count: 5.7k

Summary/Warnings: You and Ben head to Costco. Takes place about two months post-series.

Tags: Soldier Boy/Supe!Female Reader, canon divergence, tooth-rotting fluff, Ben being old, pre-established relationship, mentions of smut

There were only five things Ben had ever really fucking loved. Loved with his whole goddamn existence, so much he could probably kill himself with it if he tried.

He’d loved his mom. Loved her in a simple, pure way that he’d probably taken for fucking granted. She had been secure. The only person Ben had known wasn’t going to hate him for being a fuck up or problem. She’d pleaded with his father when Ben had been sent away. Kept in contact with him when she wasn’t supposed to. Still thought of him as just Ben, even when he’d given her every reason not to. Ben had loved his mom because she was his mom. He’d grieved her in drinks and silence when she died, and known that—compared to what he’d been before—she would’ve been proud of him now. Living a life that wasn’t violence and glamour. A life that was just stupid fucking ease and perfection, with a beautiful wife and smart son, in a comfort he’d never imagined he’d get to have.

He loved the movie Legally Blonde. His wife was never allowed to fucking know that.

He loved Ryan. The kid was a fucking genius, and Ben wasn’t sure how the hell Homelander had a single hand in creating him. He was kind and smart and determined, and a purely good fucking person. He’d been born from a long line of deeply fucked men, but he read books and cried when the dog died in a movie. He fucking loved school, and liked people, and tried so hard to be normal that Ben was sometimes worried he’d hurt himself. Ryan never needed to fucking apologize for having powers. He never needed to feel guilt for the shit Homelander had done, and never needed to repent like Ben had. He was just a fucking kid. A kid who sometimes woke up crying because he’d had a nightmare about his father—because they all did—and who’d apologize for waking Ben after. Ben really wished the people he loved would stop fucking apologizing to him.

He loved dancing. His wife already knew that one, but Ben was pretty damn sure she didn’t know just how much he loved it. It was reliable. Simple. Something his mother had made him learn, and something that he could use to make his wife fall into his arms and giggle against his chest. A way to use his body that wasn’t for destruction, an excuse to touch Her until she gave him a perfect, happy smile, and he somehow loved her more.

Because that was the thing Ben loved above every other goddamn thing in the universe. Loved more than the universe. The universe was fucking pathetic compared to how much Ben loved Her. Every single fucking thing about Her. How She smile and laughed and moved through the world. How goddamn kind and clever and perfect She was. All Her big fucking words and Her smart fucking mouth and Her sharp, beautiful features. How She was a fucking brat and a problem, and Ben would never want her any other way, because he was the luckiest fucking pussy in the world for this menace of a woman to love him back half as much as he loved Her. Lucky that She trusted him, looked at him like he was some sort of fucked up savior, and always touched him like she could never do anything better with her hands.

She was perfect. She was a fucking goddess, and every time Ben reminded Her of that she’d flush that pretty color and bury her face in his arm. Right where she goddamn belonged.

You can’t just say that, Ben-

I can say whatever the fuck I want, Sunshine. He’d press a kiss to the top of Her head, squeezing his hold on Her body. I fucking love you, and you’re a goddamn miracle. These pussies should be grateful to be in your goddamn presence.

I think you’re a little bias. She’d mumble between their heads, but Ben would hear the stumble of Her heart, feel her lean further into his body, and he’d smirk.

I don’t fucking care. He’d tangle a hand in Her hair, tugging it back so she was looking at him with wide, blown out eyes.  You’re fucking perfect. 

She’d smile at him, and Ben’s ribs would bloom and glow with how fucking beautiful She was. How She was all fucking his, to care for and tend to and love. For the rest of goddamn time, Ben got to fucking have Her.

You’re such a dramatic cunt, Benjamin.

He’d chuckle. You fucking love it.

And that would be the end of it. Wherever they were, Ben would find a place to fuck Her in peace, she’d cum all over him—filling the room with a million colors and dancing lights, bursting into flame and screaming his name—and Ben would make sure that she understood. Really fucking got that Ben had never been good at loving things, but loving Her was the easiest thing in the goddamn world. That he’d love Her until the world was fucking razed and scorched and She wasn’t there to love anymore.

Even then Ben would probably just fucking follow Her. That might be the only thing that one day got him. If She figured out a way to die, she wasn’t going to do it without Ben at Her side. She was alive inside of him—infinite and holy, fucking stronger and brighter than the goddamn sun—and Ben never wanted to know a life without Her again. 

She’d hate the idea of Ben going just because She went. She’d shove his chest and snap that he’d need to keep living without her, because she loved him too much to want him to die. And Ben would roll his eyes, grumble an agreement, and keep fucking knowing that if they went out, they were going out together.

Everything was so fucking beautiful when Ben had Her to share it with. Without Her he’d just be an old fucking asshole, chasing Her in shadows and songs, sitting at Her grave until he worked out how to turn the stone back into the only person in the world that really fucking mattered.

It was a damn good thing they were both immortal.

The world would not fucking like it if Ben had to keep living without Her.

He’d do anything for Her. He’d burn countless worlds to ash, then rebuild them just for Her to have. He’d refuse to destroy things, because She was good and would never want anyone to be in pain in Her name. If She demanded it, he would keep living, but he’d drive himself mad trying to bring Her back.

He’d learn to raise the dead. To find wherever the fuck She’d gone and pull her back to his side, where he’d keep Her safe and happy and smiling.

Christ, he’d do anything just to make Her smile.

He’d even let Her drag him here, to this massive square building that seemed to be some weird sort of grocery store. 

But Ben didn’t remember grocery stores selling TVs, or mattresses, or toys. Grocery stores didn’t sell watches. Or fucking pills and makeup, just a few aisles apart. 

Where the fuck are we. He muttered between their heads, and She looked back to him with an amused grin.

You drove us here, Ben.

Because I value my goddamn life, Sunshine.

Shut up-

No. He leaned down, kissing the space between Her eyes with a grin. Tell me where we are, brat, or I’ll fuck the answer out of you.

She wrinkled Her nose at him, even as Ben heard Her heart flutter slightly. No obviously public sex, you horny old cunt-

I never said we’d fuck in public, darling. This place is fucking huge, I’d find somewhere private, and then make you all dumb and pretty on my cock. Ben winked at Her, and Christ, she was beautiful. Wide, glossy eyes and a parted mouth, already putty in Ben’s hands just from his fucking words.

We’re at Costco. She said, a little breathless between their minds. It’s a superstore. 

Ben frowned. That didn’t make any damn sense, and he’d have a lot of time to fuck Her later. He needed to understand what in Christ she was talking about. 

What the fuck is a superstore. Did they figure out how to shoot up buildings with V and nobody fucking told me-

She laughed, wrapping Her arms around his neck with a shake of her head. No, Ben, it’s a physically large store that sells, like, everything.

Everything.

Pretty much, yeah. She shrugged. That’s why we’re here.

Ben nodded slowly. For the house.

Exactly. She smiled, Her voice soft and teasing between their minds. Good work, Pretty Boy.

Shut the fuck up, brat. Ben pulled Her half up his chest, kissing her until he got a breathy moan, and leaned back with a smirk. What do we need.

I, um… She blinked at him, her eyes a little glazed as Ben just grinned at Her. Fucking Christ, She was perfect.

Need some help there, Sunshine?

Fuck you-

Ben laughed, squeezing his hand on Her waist. No obviously public sex, darling-

Shut up. She muttered, and Ben’s grin only grew, because She tangled her hand in his and leaned further into his body at the exact same time. I made a list.

A list-

For what we need. And, She shot him a stern look, rising slightly on Her toes to hold his gaze. We’re sticking to it. No buying things we don’t need, just because you see them. 

Ben frowned. Why the fuck would I get shit we don’t need-

Because you’re a child, my love.

I am not a fucking child-

Yeah, you are. She gave him a soft, teasing grin, and Ben really didn’t know how to actually be annoyed with Her. Not when She was so goddamn beautiful, and looking at him with such adoration, and felt easy and happy around his skull. You’re a massive fucking man baby, Benjamin, and you’re going to see something shiny and try to buy it.

Fucking- I’m not a goddamn pussy with no self-

She pulled him into a slow, deep kiss, half climbing up his chest and molding into his arms fucking perfectly, and he groaned. She’d given him a blowjob before they left the house—Ryan was off at school for the day, and She was a horny fucking problem—and Ben could still taste himself in Her mouth. Mixed with coffee and chocolate, and Her. Always just fucking Her, smiling against his lips and safe in his arms. He could feel the cool metal of Her wedding ring when she tangled her fingers in his hair.

They had to finish this shopping shit right now, so Ben could carry Her to the car and fuck her stupid in the back seat.

You’re my man baby, Pretty Boy. She said between their minds, and leaning back to give him a wide, perfect smile. I love you.

I love you too, Ben grunted, leaning down to kiss to Her brow. You fucking brat.

She hummed, Her smile wide and unrestrained on her beautiful face. Ready?

Ben nodded, grabbing Her hand and pressing one last kiss to Her knuckles. There was Her ring. Both of her rings. Physical fucking proof to anyone who looked that She loved Ben. Wanted him. Fucking adored him. 

If She needed Ben for shopping, he’d walk with Her and do whatever she told him to. She’d know what she was doing. She always knew what She was doing, because she was a goddamn force of nature, and if Ben had a say in it, he’d make sure everyone did what she told them all the fucking time.

They didn’t—because most people were stupid fucking dumbcucks that Ben wasn’t allowed to just fucking kill—but they should. All of this post-Homelander shit would be so much easier if everyone would just fucking listen to Her. 

And Ben knew how hard She was working on it. How She was calm and collected when she testified before congress and recounted all the shit that fucking pussy had done to Her, but always fell apart after, sobbing and shaking in Ben’s arms. She’d crawl over his body and bury Her face in his chest, he’d feel fucking sick, and wish he could bring Homelander back to life just to fucking kill him again. Everyone demanded too goddamn much of Her, and she always gave it because she was too fucking good, and if all She asked for was Ben to go shopping with Her, he’d do it a billion fucking times.

Anything to make Her tap her fingers because she was picking out wall colors and not because she had to explain how She’d killed Sage. Anything to make Her flush because Ben was kissing her neck in the lamp aisle and not because a bunch of old fucking pussies wanted unnecessary details about Her alleged relationship with Soldier Boy.

It wasn’t fucking alleged. They were goddamn married. They had a son and owned a house together.

A house they needed to put things in. And decorate. And make theirs. So if that was what this trip was about, Ben could fucking do it. For Her.

It started simple. They needed more furniture, they found it. 

“We already have most of what we need,” She muttered, pulling Ben through the store. “It’s mostly decorations now. If you see something you like-“

“I’ll like whatever the fuck you like.”

She let out a long sigh. “That not helpful-“

Ben grunted Her name, spinning Her around in his arms and dropping his brow to Her’s. 

“Ben-“

“Listen to me.” He held Her gaze, drawing firm circles in her hips. ��I could give a fuck what our house looks like, as long as you like it, and there’s no goddamn blue.”

“But it’s your house too-“

“I don’t fucking care.” He grunted. “I’ve told you, Sunshine, we could be living in a fucking dumpster, and I’d be good.”

She scanned over Ben’s face, and sighed. “Can you promise you’ll at least try to find one thing you want?”

“Deal.” Ben kissed Her, dipping her slightly in his arms and keeping Her tucked to his side when they pulled apart.

For Her, he’d try to find one thing. It couldn’t be that fucking hard. This place was huge. 

At first, there was nothing. She had opinions on the colors and style of their house, and Ben mostly just watched Her be perfect and smart and happy, grumbling low agreements and kissing Her until she smiled whenever he got the chance. That was what he cared about. Not whatever the fuck rustic or sleek meant. Not about what shade of green their bedroom should be, or if they should have the bird or sunset painting, or if a glass vase was better than a ceramic one. 

“Just lie and pretend you have an answer-“

“No. I don’t fucking lie to you-“

“It’s a vase, Ben. I’m not going to freak out and burn the building down because you lie about liking a vase-“

“I don’t give a fuck about the vase.” He snapped. “My job is to buy you the damn flowers-“

“Well,” She raised Her brows, giving him a pointed look. “Where can I put the flowers, if I don’t have a vase?”

Ben scowled. “Smartass.”

“You love it.” She gave him a sweet smile, and he really fucking did. “Choose a vase, Pretty Boy.”

Ben rolled his eyes, glaring between the options, and decided they were both fucking stupid. “No.”

“Benjamin-“

“Get that one.” He pointed to a third, smaller one. It was the same color as Her eyes, and had little golden patterns. He didn’t hate it. “It’ll fit on the dresser.”

She paused, tapping Her fingers on Ben’s arm, and nodded slowly. “Okay.” She gave him a wider, purely fucking adoring smile, and Ben felt his whole body grow radiant. “Thank you.”

“Don’t.” He grumbled, kissing the side of Her head, and a dam broke inside of him. 

Suddenly, Ben had a lot of fucking opinions. A red carpet would look fucking stupid in the living room, and Ben didn’t want a weird, twisting lamp on his bed stand. They’d get the shower curtain with little octopuses—octopi, Benjamin—because they made Her smile, but Ben would give MM a fucking blowjob before he used as towel with ducks on it.

“But they’re cute-“

“No.” Ben snapped, grabbing a stack on plain, monotone towels, and dumping them into the cart. “They’re fucking towels, Sunshine, they only need to dry us off.”

“I know, but look at them!” She held the ducks up, giving Ben a pretty pout that was designed to fucking kill him. “Please? Just one?”

Ben scowled. She knew what the fuck She was doing. Looking so fucking beautiful and leaning into his body and making Her sharp eyes soft just for him. He couldn’t say no to Her. He’d never really want to, anyway. Not when he grabbed the towel, tossed it in the cart, and Her smile had the same effect as fucking heroine.

“One.” He grunted. “Because I fucking love you, brat, you get one.”

She kept smiling at him, holding his face between Her hands and kissing him right on the nose. “Thank you, my love-“

Ben rolled his eyes, and dragged Her into a longer, firmer kiss. Until She was a sighing and humming and melting into him, before grabbing Her hand and tugging her to the next isle.

They got shampoo—Ben tried to pick his own out, She looked like she was going stab him or set him on fire, and he decided to let Her handle that shit—a bunch of picture frames, and a lot of useless decorative shit that they didn’t need. Small potted plants that would have to be kept out of the bedroom, a fuck ton of books that She’d probably already read, and some nice, dark green plates. 

Ben took over for groceries—that might be the only place in the world where She didn’t know what the fuck she was doing—and he kept it simple. Pancakes. Ice cream. Bagels. Strawberry cream cheese. Coffee. Chocolate. Something called Lunchables that Ryan seemed to like. Apple sauce, because on worse days that was all Ben could get Her to eat, and he’d be damned if he let Homelander keep haunting them like that. Whiskey. Burger patties-

“You know there’s only three of us, right?” She was hanging off of Ben’s arm, giving him an amused look as he tossed a second bag of apples into their slightly overflowing cart. “And we can come back if we host dinner with the team.”

Ben frowned. “You told me Butcher was hosting-“

“He is. I’m saying that’s why we don’t need so many-“

“We need to be fucking prepared.” Ben muttered. “Shit happens, Sunshine, and I’ll be fucking damned if I let us go hungry-“

Ben.

He grunted Her name, glancing down to see open, obvious amusements painted over Her pretty features. 

Are you fucking Cold War prepping.

Shut up.

She snorted. Holy shit, you are-

I said shut the fuck up. We need to be goddamn careful, and it’s my job to make sure you and Ryan are safe-

That’s not your job, Ben. She sighed, giving him a soft smile that lit up his whole fucking body. But, if it was, you already do an amazing job, without being an old, paranoid dinosaur. And remember, She squeezed his hand, raising Her brows slightly. Ryan’s literally invulnerable, and I fuck an atomic bomb every day. We’d be fine.

Ben scowled, but put the third bag of apples back. We fuck at least three times a day.

I know. I’m there.

You fucking start most of it-

You’re just proving my point, Pretty Boy.

Shut up.

From there, She made him go look at fucking pants and shirts. Only so She could send Neuman orders for their specialized, supe-proof clothing, but still needing Ben’s actual fucking opinions. He didn’t fucking care about clothing, and he trusted Her with his fucking life, so she ended up making most of the choices as Ben grunted in approval. 

They were almost done. And this had been fun—he’d never tell Her that, but he was also pretty damn sure she knew—but Ben wanted to go the hell home. To drop all this shit in the doorway, carry Her upstairs, and fuck Her until she screamed his name so loud all the glasses in the house fucking broke. 

All that was left was getting something called a Roomba.

“What fuck is that thing.” Ben muttered, frowning at the metal disc in Her hands. It just looked like fucking junk.

“It’s a robot.”

“A fucking what.”

“Robot. Robot vacuum. It’ll clean the floor-“

“That circle is going to clean the floor-“

“Yep.” She glanced at the label on the shelf. “Do you think we need max power? I don’t really know what average power would do- Ben-“

He’d grabbed the robot—fucking robot—from Her, and was examining it. He didn’t know what the hell he was looking for, only that he wasn’t finding it.

“Ben-“

“This thing is not a fucking robot.” He muttered. “Robots aren’t real.”

“They very much are real, old man.”

“There’s not a chance in fucking hell this thing can clean a floor-“

“Well, it does.” She took the circle back, placing it into the cart and giving Ben a teasing look of disbelief. “Are Roomba’s really going to be the thing that gets you about the 21st century?”

He scowled. “They’re not fucking real, Sunshine-“

“Benjamin, my love.” She moved to stand right before him, holding his gaze to Her’s with amusement dancing all over Her perfect face. She was so fucking beautiful. “You can throw nuclear energy with your brain, pick up trucks with one hand, and I’ve seen you jump off a building without flinching. We’re fuck-buddy-brain-connected. When I orgasm, I make both of us hallucinate. This,” She pointed to the so-called robot. “Cannot be the thing that gets you.”

Shut up, brat. Ben rolled his eyes, kissing the back of Her hand before glaring around the rest of isle. Are all of these things fucking robots.

No, these are just normal vacuums.

Does this place have other robots.

Yeah, probably.

Ben’s eyes narrowed. Where.

———————

You’ve made a grave error.

You don’t think you’re ever going to leave this Costco. 

After the Roomba, you’d shown Ben robotic litter boxes, and drones, and a smart speaker. You’re pretty sure that’s where you’d went wrong. 

“This thing can hear me?”

You’d nodded, watching him with a small smile you were having a hard time fighting. To any passerby, Ben would’ve looked furious, but you know him. Know that right now, his clenched jaw and narrowed eyes meant that he was shocked and confused. 

It helped that you could feel it, pricking on his skin and cloudy around his head. It was kind of adorable. 

“It can hear all of us.”

He’d scowled. “Why the fuck is it listening-“

“So you can tell it what to do. Here, look- Alexa? Play Steely Dan.”

“Playing- Steely Dan.”

Low music started to fill the space, and you’d had to bite your cheek to stop the snort at Ben’s expression. He’d looked like he’d been shot. It had been adorable. 

And now, two fucking hours later, you didn’t think you’d ever get sick of that expression on his face. He was like a five-year-old loose in a candy shop, walking from aisle to aisle and asking you grumbling questions about various technologies and appliances. If you’re being honest, the only time you’ve seen him look close to this was whenever he’d fuck you. It was a similar expression of pure, raw joy and wonder, but devoid of all the darkened, animalistic need. 

“What the fuck are these?”

“Security cameras.” 

Ben frowns. “They look like fucking doorbells.”

“They’re both.” You say, resting your head against his chest, and he nods slowly.

“We should get one.”

“Ben-“

“For fucking safety, Sunshine, it would be damn insane not to have cameras when all those fucking pussy Homelander supporters are still out there-“

“I agree, my love.” You smile at him, forcing yourself not the climb into his arms as his concrete concern and resolve wrap around you. “That’s why I asked Hughie to install some already.”

Ben pauses, something hot and sore flaring on his skin. “Why the fuck did you ask Hughie.”

“He’s a tech nerd, and Annie said he’d know the best ones to get.” You kissing the underside of Ben’s jaw, humming against his skin. Next time, I’ll ask you, Benjamin. It’ll be so fucking funny to watch you try to install them.

Ben scowls, adoration flaring in his chest as the soreness eases, and you manage to walk him away from the doorbells. 

Most of the afternoon has mostly become walking Ben away from things. For some stuff, it’s easy. Noise canceling headphones wouldn’t work on him. You don’t need a slightly larger TV, because your current one is perfectly fine. You don’t have the space for a hot tub.

“What about these.” He points to the third golf set, and you sigh.

“Ben, you hate golf. You’ve told me it’s a weak fucking pussy sport.”

“And it fucking is, but these things can be damn good weapons-“

“We are not buying weapons.”

“What if someone fucking breaks into the house with a gun-“

“You and Ryan are bullet proof, and I can’t be killed-“

“What if it’s a fucking supe-“

“Then you can blast them with your special sauce, and they won’t be a supe.” You wrap your arms around him, raising your brows. “We’ll be fine, Ben. No golf clubs.”

He scowls, and moves on. 

From the golf clubs. And the iPad, and other security cameras, and air hockey table.

But other things are harder. 

Because you make a second mistake. You agree with him that you should buy a generator, because it’s practical. But what Ben learns is that you can say yes to things. And now you have an ice cream maker, an air fryer, a truly unreasonable amount of batteries, and lawn sprinklers.

And a vibrator, because Ben had grabbed it, shoved it into the cart, and raised his brows in a silent challenge.

You’d sighed. Ben, I don’t need-

I’m going to have to travel, Sunshine-

I know, but I think I can keep it together until you get back to fuck me yourself.

Or. Ben had winked at you, and you felt his hunger spread in your gut. We could do that Zoom shit, you could imagine that thing is me. He’d lowered down, starting to leave wet, sloppy kisses up your neck. And I could tell you exactly how I’d want to fuck you. How I’d play with that perfect fucking pussy until you were begging for me, then I’d stuff that smart fucking mouth with my cock and start to finger fuck you, make your squirt on my hand while you choke on my dick-

You’d buried your face in his chest, muffling your whimper in his shirt. Jesus fucking Christ, Ben-

You like that, darling? Like thinking about how I fill you up, how fucking good I pound into that pussy, how I make you cum on my cock and hands and face-

You’d agreed to buy the vibrator, but mostly because if he had kept talking, you might have climaxed just from Ben’s voice.

You should’ve left Costco an hour ago.

But Ben still doesn’t seem to be done yet.

“How the fuck are they doing that.” He mutters, poking remote and watching the LEDs shift from green to pink to yellow for the fifth time. 

“Semiconductors.” You say, trying not to look like such a dopey, lovesick idiot as you smile at him. “We do have to go home soon. Ryan’s almost done with school.” 

Ben grunts, grabbing one of the LED light strings and holding it up for you to see. 

You take it from him, kiss his cheek—your lips barely brushing his beard before he’s moving you to his mouth, and you almost fall over—and place the box in the cart.

The total amount of money you’ve spent today is disgusting, but the grin on Ben’s face makes it worth it. All of this is so fucking worth it, because you’re happy in such an average, normal way. You’re happy because Ben’s happy—glowing and furious in your whole body—and he’s everything. He grabs you a chocolate bar in the checkout isle without you asking, and insists unloading everything into the trunk himself.

“Go wait in the car, Sunshine-“

You shake your head, trying—and failing—not to gawk at him. So goddamn handsome the broad daylight, muscles flexing as the moves bag after bag, all yours to climb like a tree when you get home-

You won’t have to get until your get home.

Ben chuckles as you stare at him, and the moment the last bag is in the car he grabs you by your wrist, tugging your back into his chest and slamming his lips down to yours. It a rough, heavy kiss that probably isn’t appropriate for a parking lot, but you can’t really bring yourself to care. Ben’s love is strong and focused and everything in the world that matters. He’s swaying you back and forth in his arms, grinning as he nips at your lower lip and tugs a little at your hair, and you don’t think you’re ever going to get enough of him. Of how forceful and bloody and devout his love is, just in broad daylight when you’ve done nothing but smile at him. 

When he pulls away, neither of you bother to fully separate. Ben grins at you, and you smile at him, and when he brushes a little hair away from your face you do the only thing you can think of, and kiss him again. Softer this time, moving your hands to hold his face, allowing yourself to feel so purely safe and warm in the best place in the world. In Ben.

Because you know this will never fade. The love for him in your body that only grows more and more powerful with every passing moment. That you’ll always feel Ben’s love for you, no matter if you’re resting in heaven—caged between Ben’s body and a bed, sleeping or fucking or just smiling at him—breaking down in a hell you’ve visited countless times in life and will visit more in sleep, or standing somewhere domestic and mundane. 

You have a life now where you get to be domestic and mundane. Where you get to make out with your husband in a public place, until someone rolls down their window and wolf-whistles, and you have to restrain Ben from picking up their car and throwing it across the lot. Where you get to drive home with Ben’s hand on your thigh and your head resting on his shoulder, and you get to act like that’s all your life has ever been.

It’s all it will have to be now. 

For the rest of your life—which will likely be simply the rest of time—all you’ll have to do is be domestic. You don’t think you can be mundane, not when Ben grumbles something and you can feel his love spark and flare in his chest, or when you park the car and Ben carries all fifteen of your heavy bags inside at once without even a grunt. You can’t be mundane when, the moment he puts the bags down, you jump on him, he fucks you against the kitchen counter, and you burst into a flame that sets off the smoke alarm and drenches you both in the sprinklers. 

But you can be domestic. You can dry off and cook dinner with Ben—like a normal husband and wife probably do—and let him wrap his body around you and kiss that spot on your neck until you give up on focusing and ride him on the floor. 

You can eat with Ben and Ryan, try not to laugh as Ben works out how the ice cream maker works, and curl in Ben’s arms on your couch. Watching TV and sitting easily in the dark.

Ben can tilt your head back for a deep, slow kiss, smirking against your lips when you moan, and mutter your name like a prayer.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he says, rubbing firm circles on your thigh, and you let out a long, slow breath as you flush.

“I think you abuse that word, Benjamin,” you mumble, and he shrugs.

“I don’t give a fuck. You are.” He frowns, turning you to face him in his lap. “I fucking love you, Sunshine, you’re my whole fucking world-“

I know. You smile, leaning down for another, softer kiss that makes Ben groan in your mouth and the whole world start to get a little hazy. I love you, too.

He grunts, but doesn’t bother to do his usual pushing about how you still don’t get how much he loves to you. You do get it. You can feel it, and it’s the most powerful thing in the world. Sometimes you worry Ben doesn’t understand how much you love him. How you can’t even begin to picture a world where you’d never clawed your way through blood and grime to find him. How you can feel his love and resolve and care all the time, and your own love is so eternal and vast you could probably power a universe with it. 

But you’ll have all of time to fight with him about who loves who more. 

Right now, everything can just be Ben and you on a couch, eating ice cream, and knowing that this—You and him, burning together—is forever.

End Note: Had to make the smart speaker an Alexa. We are in an Amazon based universe. I don’t think they sell Alexas at Costco, but we’ve established that Costco sells whatever I want it to sell. So, Alexas.

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Taglist

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@lovelywebber

[justsomerandomdemon]

We really need a yan! Forsaken x noelle reader.

I mean the snowgrave route one specifically. They have like noelle's abilities. Maybe the thorn ring involved cause why not. Some abilities examples.

Sleep Mist- Gives the killer slowness II for 4 seconds. Also gives tired effect. Slows regen of stamina. Last for 3 seconds.

Ice Shock- Freezes the killer in place for 3 seconds. But not stun.

Heal prayer- Heals a survivor for 35 hp. Idk what else to add. Tbh

Passive:??? Idk yet Maybe has smth to do with tp?

Thats what I think for now. So what you think!

ⁱᵐ ᵃ ᵗʷᵃᵗ ⁱ ᵗʰᵒᵘᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰⁱˢ ʷᵃˢ ᵃ ᵒⁿᵉˢʰᵒᵗ ᵃˢᵏ ˢᵒ ⁱ ˡᵉᶠᵗ ⁱᵗ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᵗⁱᵐᵉ ᵇᵉⁱⁿᵍ ˢⁱⁿᶜᵉ ⁱ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ʰᵃᵛᵉ ᵃⁿʸ ⁱᵈᵉᵃˢ ᶠᵒʳ ᵒⁿᵉ 💔 ⁱ ᵈⁱᵈⁿ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃˡⁱˢᵉ ⁱᵗ ʷᵃˢ ʲᵘˢᵗ ᵃ ᵍᵉⁿᵉʳᵃˡ ⁱᵈᵉᵃ ˢʰᵃʳⁱⁿᵍ 😭

ˢᵒ ˡᵉᵗˢ ˢᵉᵉ!

𝗬𝗔𝗡𝗗𝗘𝗥𝗘 𝗙𝗢𝗥𝗦𝗔𝗞𝗘𝗡 𝘅 𝗡𝗢𝗘𝗟𝗟𝗘 𝗛𝗢𝗟𝗜𝗗𝗔𝗬!𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗘𝗥

First and foremost, the changes I'd make would be two things;

1 : Reader is adopted by the holidays (still a deer monster but leaves more room for people to have their own designs in case), so in this world at least, she does replace Noelle's spot (sorry Noelle 😔)

2 : The fungang and everyone involved in said age group originally will be basically aged up to college age/university (around like 21 but idk yet)

𝗔𝗕𝗜𝗟𝗜𝗧𝗜𝗘𝗦 :

Honestly you were practically spot on so I'll just give my own added ideas aswell as yours

𝗦𝗟𝗘𝗘𝗣 𝗠𝗜𝗦𝗧;

"Gives the killer slowness II aswell as blindness for 4 seconds, after the spell is finished, the killer has slower regeneration for 10 seconds, being an awful hinderance if in a chase"

𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗖𝗞 (with thorn ring);

"With another spell cast, the killer is frozen still for 3 seconds, taking 3hp damage from the icey spell, C00lkidd only takes 1hp of damage compared to the others"

𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗟 𝗣𝗥𝗔𝗬𝗘𝗥;

"A prayer is casted upon the chosen teammate, giving them back 35 of their hp. During this spell Reader is frozen still for 5 seconds, leaving an open window for attacks. Positive is the spell can be cast from a safe distance..."

𝗣𝗔𝗦𝗦𝗜𝗩𝗘𝗦 :

Unsure for what exactly to do so here are the ideas so you guys can choose which is preferred :

𝗗𝗘𝗘𝗥 𝗜𝗡 𝗛𝗘𝗔𝗗𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗦;

"Upon a survivor having 'fallen down' regardless of where in the map, Reader will suddenly freeze still for 3 seconds as if shellshocked"

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗔𝗡𝗚𝗘𝗟;

"The heavenly light she casts upon utilising any spell will give a random boost to any survivor within her vicinity, a small speed boost, stamina regeneration or a small healing boost."

𝗜𝗖𝗘 𝗖𝗔𝗦𝗧𝗘𝗥;

"As heavenly as the light given upon any spell casted, those around; killer or survivor, shall receive damadge, halting at 5hp damage to 10hp, keep a safe distance once you seem them about to cast another icey spell"

𝗣𝗥𝗢𝗖𝗘𝗘𝗗;

"Upon the request of a survivor, Reader is obligated to use whichever spell was requested with no room to argue. She must get strong to protect the others."

𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗥𝗔𝗖𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗦 : (some have less since tbh idk)

What do they think of you?

𝗦𝗨𝗥𝗩𝗜𝗩𝗔𝗟𝗜𝗦𝗧𝗦;

𝗡𝗼𝗼𝗯; "They find themselves enjoying your company quite a bit, once you (sort of) got past the whole 'forsakend thing' they found it rather easy to talk to you, maybe due to the both of you being timid was what helped.

Regardless, they were also extremely grateful for your help during rounds. Often making sure to keep a medkit or bloxy cola around on them for you in case, they tried to give their own stuff but- it didn't work :(

Utterly infatuated by your deer features, finds it relaxing to just boop or trace any patterns, freckles or other such unique features you have.

All In all, they're pretty clingy since they see you as an actual friend after 666 disappeared."

They just want to find some normalcy in this hell hole.

007𝗻7; "Considering everything he's done in his past before C00lkidd came into his life, it was a surprise to hear that you actually had no clue who he was (or anything about Robloxia for that matter), so it was easier to communicate without that tinge of shame he often felt when interacting with other survivors.

Was quick to find out how much of a scaredy cat you could be when he just tapped your shoulder to hand over dinner only for you to scream and literally jump around in terror and smashing face first onto the floor.

Due to that he tries to avoid appearing after using an ability right in front of your face or ease you into the fact he's there before the (accidental) scare.

Honestly he just enjoys having to talk to someone who is unaware of his more shameful actions back in the day, is rather worried about how you'll be towards him if ever you find out so tends to interfere if ever he thinks someone is about to tell you his history. You will eventually, for now he prefers you stay clueless of it."

Isn't very proud of it but does utilise the fact you're a pushover and timid to spend more time while using some excuse.

𝗦𝗨𝗣𝗣𝗢𝗥𝗧;

𝗘𝗹𝗹𝗶𝗼𝘁; "First things first, he was just so glad to have someone else who could heal aswell as defend themselves so that was just a relief for him. He was pretty neutral at first about you, you weren't bad its just you tended to not initiate conversation much.

After a while he found himself actually enjoying your company, asides being useful in the rounds you were pretty fun to talk to during free time, though you both didn't have much in common in terms of interest or career, just getting to talk about the lives, family and friends you had before was a nice change.

Started to get more worried the more you hung around 7, while the distance he held for him was dimmed as to not cause problems within the group it was concerning to him considering your easily scared personality. Has been keeping an eye on him just in case."

Out if everyone there, the most normal, perhaps just little bit protective/overbearing... its purely because you clearly have a problem with saying no! Hes just helping out a friend.

𝗗𝘂𝘀𝗲𝗸𝗸𝗮𝗿; "...had some questions about your presence. Your soul being far different from Robloxians and the fact you were lacking a concerning amount if knowledge that the average Robloxian would know.

He was actually one of the first people you approached on your own, confusing him for a 'monster' as you blabbed on about how crazy the whole situation was. He's pretty sure you didn't recover from the embarrassment when he told you he wasn't a monster.

He did notice you don't seem used to these abilities, being a magic user himself he'll actually take it up to offer teaching you to master your skills better. It'll give him a better opportunity to learn more."

As of now, unsure about you. Neutral but rather curious as to a lot of things that he would like answers to eventually, perhaps in the future will he have more to think about you.

𝗕𝘂𝗶𝗹𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗺𝗮𝗻; "Accidentally scared the shit out of you the first time when he started placing down a sentry behind you, causing you to run into the killer. So that was certainly a first impression.

Despite that first impression, was fairly happy to the fact that you actually did try to help regardless of how scared you were during rounds. So he's fairly content with your presence.

After a while of your stay he actually lended you some trinkets that would help with your deer features; stuff to help with antlers, fur or hooves and whatnot. Afterall you're all stuck here so why not lend a hand.

Has been made aware by Dusekkar that somethings off."

So for now he's one of the most normal ones, actually treating you like any other survivor. At most right now you're getting small devices just to help out as stated above.

𝗧𝗮𝗽𝗵; "Two words, cool outfit.

Okay but seriously they actually found you really cool, outfit, abilities and the deer look just added to it. Despite his positive opinions it was hard to get you to understand that he's trying to help you go towards one of the traps he'd set up for the killer at the beginning.

The two of you ge along fairly alright, you being able to understand and communicate with sign language made it easy.

It was a bit surprising to him at first when you showed interest in his traps (specifically the subspace) as you'd been victim to his traps more than once. He's made a few jokes about it being deer season because of that."

Not sure he's equally pretty normal at first, the more the two of you hang around the more he risks to grow a bit of a parasocial relationship as he may find himself acting like a (secret) fan boy as he is for his idol. (Unsure yet)

𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗜𝗡𝗘𝗟𝗦 ;

𝗦𝗵𝗲𝗱𝗹𝗲𝘁𝘀𝗸𝘆; "Upon first meetings, he noticed that you either kept distance from him or stuck to him like glue during rounds, he's not complaining, the extra help was useful in case the killer was on him.

Turns out he reminded you of some people back home. One of which was a rather estranged relationship it seemed. Once that awkward moment passed you seemed to see him as well- him rather than people from your home.

He enjoys the company, its a shame you're often shy so you tend to go quiet or stumble over yours after saying something even slightly harmless (often references or things no one here has heard of), finds it funny to do some harmless pranks your way (somehow he found out you're scared of humans under a bed-)

Is fairly alarmed at how weirdly powerful you are, why you've kept what is rather 'op' abilities as others would say. He's been informed by Dusekkar. So he's been keeping an eye out in case."

A bit normal, mostly just keeping an eye out on you on behalf of Dusekkar due to his concerns. Is curious about this 'Hometown' you keep talking about.

𝗚𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁 1337; "Despite his intimidating stance at first glance it was quickly dissipated after figuring out he was an actually nice guy outside the more serious attitude he held during rounds (seing the guy punch the killer sure did remind you of someone)

He's pretty cool about you, enjoying the support you bring throughout the rounds aswell as finding your behaviour pretty endeering (hah, deer- okay I'll stop) despite your own embarrassment towards your own silly mess ups. Has been the one to make a surprisingly good amount of deer jokes out of everyone there.

Took notice that you seem to admire him oddly enough. When confronted he was just told he reminded you of someone back home. Before scurrying off with a red face (who knew deers could blush-). He doesn't mind in all honesty, its pretty funny to see.

He's often the one paired wth you during rounds as when in the middle of casting a spell its often then the killers attempt to go after you, so he's the one blocking or pushing them back just so you get enough time."

As time goes on in this hellhole he just finds enjoyment in your company, in a small way you remind him of Daisy. So its nostalgia he welcomes.

𝗧𝘄𝗼 𝗧𝗶𝗺𝗲; "Its... unnerving.

Soon after your arrival they just- stared. They would, whenever they could, just stare at you outside rounds and when the killer is not on them- during rounds aswell. Its gotten to the point you try to find someway to hide from them whenever they're distracted.

They can't help it, your magic, your attire and behaviour is one that could only be considered dignified of an angel. Immediately they'd told themselves you were in someway linked with the Spawn, even if you denied it. For them, it was set in stone. You were someone who whether you knew it or not was destined for greatness.

Asides their odd fascination towards you, they tended to be overly touchy- not inappropriately just always trying to touch you, whether it be your robes randomly, your antlers or tail. Worst was their weird obsession with your back for... some reason. They don't exactly care honestly, they've never been great at personal space."

At the end of the day, they're basically a stalker, believing something you just didn't understand regardless of how many times you expressed it.

They wonder whether they could convince you to sacrifice yourself for the Spawn or someone else for him.

𝗖𝗵𝗮𝗻𝗰𝗲; "The two of you are absolute opposites, one is a rule follower and goody two shoes as most would think, and he's a risk chased, constantly seeking the thrill that came with everything he did to get his adrenaline pumping.

So it was very surprising to most when you two sort of got along. Turns out, the risky life style was something that you found fascinating, as if you yourself couldn't do it less it was small things. So he takes it upon himself to show you the gambling life; his shoddy gun when in rounds, poker nights or anything else you'd never consider to try.

Considering his pretty bad like with finding a true friend back before everything, it was definitely exciting for him internally to have someone not use him for his wealth or influence, sure that stuff was useless here so maybe thats why but still. It was great for him.

Although... he finds himself comparing you to him at times, the both of you being cold to the touch and often compared to ice. Difference being you actually bring a sense of reassurance and kindness with the cold you bring."

They find themselves becoming a bit overbearing and eager to keep around his first genuine friend, if he could, would've probably used expensive items as an (unintentional) guilt trip for you to stick around.

(Do note this isn't fully accurate since some of them im unsure of)

𝗞𝗜𝗟𝗟𝗘𝗥𝗦 ;

𝗖00𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗱𝗱 (𝗽𝗹𝗮𝘁𝗼𝗻𝗶𝗰); "Was really angry at first about your abilities, finding them unfair when you first used them. When you awkwardly apologised after his childish outburst the spells had been significantly less strong then before.

Finds the deer features really cool, often pointing how you both shared horns(antlers) and tails, even if nothing alike it was just fun for him to see someone having something familiar to him.

Absolutely ADORES you in rounds, asides his dad you became his 2nd favourite! Since you actually acted nice towards him (even if you were terrified out of your mind of this transformed kid)."

Basically, you're his friend now and he reeeeally want to bring you to the killer cabin to hag out more.

𝗝𝗼𝗵𝗻 𝗗𝗼𝗲; "No opinion.

Even when he's formed one he's often made to forget what it was once the round is over, only remembering next time to try and kill you first since your abilities were pretty hindering.

He has a small tendency to remember small things... unless C00lkidd were to bring you back somehow is when he may form a more solid opinion"

So he's got nothing to say.

1𝘅1𝘅1𝘅1; "Its deer hunting season it seems.

Your abilities are extremely annoying so she often goes for you first if alone or last if unlucky. Despite that they find an extreme twisted joy in scaring you. Not that it took much but the reactions he got were just delicious.

There's an irony somewhere at the creation of pure hatred finding a fascination with someone who's dressed so angelic with a much kinder personality (more so pushover not like it matters to him, both are still weak for him.)"

Basically if he's the killer for the round, you best hope you can find another sentinel to help out.

𝗡𝗼𝗹𝗶; "No opinion mostly, more so annoyed that an old friend of his has just made another friend like nothing happend before. Its tough to say his own thoughts on it."

Honestly I'm unsure myself but if ever he were to learn about how someone in your own life had forced you to take some powerful relic (thorn ring) the wuld most likely see a bit of a connection.

𝗠𝗮𝗳𝗶𝗼𝘀𝗼; "You know how Guest scared you because of his build and attitude in rounds but is actually a chill guy? Yeah, this guy isn't.

Doesn't really care much at first either, mostly finds the reactions humouring as you ran away in a frenzied panic whenever something went wrong.

Once he learns that a certain gambler has became friends with you is when he either targets you when Chance is in a round or kills him infront of you to send a message.

Bonus, his men have yet to catch you as you scream and run whenever they scare you by accident (they were just walking from behind-), they do find the deer look adorable though so thats another thing."

Needless to say he finds the rounds you're in amusing and you're sure to be terrified out of your mind.

𝗣𝗟𝗢𝗧 𝗜𝗗𝗘𝗔?? 𝗜𝗚-

Basically sometime during deltarune you got taken to the realm, whether through death or otherwise you can choose for now.

Honestly not sure how the yandere would go for everyone most of them would be because either loneliness, yearning for affection of any kind or a more sadistic joy from it (cough, cough, 1x and Mafioso-)

Thats mostly it since tbh- I GOT NO CLUE-

Only notable thing would be reader keeps their dark world appearance even when back in the cabin for some reason.

Idk 💔 I tried

[youkaigakkou-tl]

hi! do we know where Nyuudou, Utagawa and Mujina are from? years ago we got a map that said where each character is from, though Tanaka sensei removed some characters for spoilers (Utagawa, sano, Nyuudou, Mujina/Odawara accidentally) (Sano i am assuming is from Takamagahara) i translated it myself and i skimmed through the story to find where Odawara lives (Miyagi), but i've got no clue on Nyuudou, Utagawa or Mujina, and Fuji is confusing, too 😭 this is the map by the way! (985878606894186498)

Right so here's the map with the translated names + the other 2 we know (Sano from Izumo and Odawara from Miyagi) (Odawara probably wasnt purposely censored she just forgor)

So our first mystery: Where is Nyuudou from?

He definitely currently lives in Tokyo given the prominent featuring of the tokyo tower in renren arc, but he went to the same grade school as Mame (& Gida, Renjou, Marilyn)?

As you can see from the yoseito culture fes extra chapter, chugoku and shikoku get lumped into the same grade school, and Mame says as much.

Well. pretty obvious now that i've put all the relevant info together. Renren was originally from chugoku/shikoku, which was where his mom was in the hospital, and probably also where Utagawa is from. And then after Renka's death the Nyuudous moved to Tokyo, probably some combination of moving on from the grief and to better facilitate youkai ministry stuff

Which would make Kurai saying "unlikely we'll be back here again" make more sense, since its not just that their reason for coming was gone, they're also moving halfway across the country

(also i was looking at the official yoseito tl at first but i thought it was missing a bit of nuance so i double checked the jp, and it was

first of all it does not say "same class" at any point, only "same grade school/elementary school", and also i feel like the official tl is missing some nuance of "we were in the same school, and then either he or i stopped being at the school" that was coming through in the jp

and also knowing the info i do now, i lost a bit of nuance in the left panel too: more literally, it uses 今も昔も "doesn't matter now or back then", which sort of implies a separation of those 2 periods of time, a gap of "knowing nyuudou", compared to "always been/had". in most cases, "now + back then" can be safely combined into "always", but now the gap between the two has meaning, you get me?)

So finally. Where is Mujina from

The only clue is that sensei "accidentally erased him too while erasing another name(s)", which would put him at around chugoku/shikoku!

(Renren and Utagawa are probably from the same area, and if they're not from chugoku then theyre from shikoku, in which case mujina is likely to also be from shikoku, bc sensei is probably more likely to accidentally erase a 3rd name if shes erasing 2, then erasing a 2nd name if shes only erasing one. but most likely of all is accidentally erasing a 4th name when she only meant to erase 3)

[sevikas-biceps]

Sometimes, I wonder about Ren; Marcus' daughter. You ever think she thinks of her father and the funny man with the weird eye? The woman with the metal hand and chopped hair, and the man always looking in two directions?

You remember our old friend Vi, don't you? Vander's daughter? She was about your age! Her father went on a long trip, and Daddy here assured me that she left with him. But it seems she never made it. Isn't that sad? Could you imagine being separated from your father?

Right after those lines; I remember finding it odd that Silco dared to explicitly talk about the matters at hand with Marcus in front of Ren. Yes, you can excuse that she's a child—she likely won't remember it, she likely didn't even think anything of the interaction; yes, you can compare her to the Undercity children, who in comparison would no doubt pick up on the undertones and the implications of Silco's words, and to whom in contrast Ren would fall short against. But you also have to note that that day with this funny man was also one of her last days with her father. Doubtlessly, the poor girl was devastated when Marcus died.

She's going to remember it. She's going to remember those last days.

Can you imagine? They're both gone, now. Just like that Vi friend of theirs. Daddy's gone, and I'm alone like Vi. Where's Daddy? Why isn't he coming back? Where's Mister Silco now? He's Daddy's friend, isn't he?

Ren would be looking for her father, yes, we can reasonably assume this—but no doubt she'd also ask around about his 'friend'. Silco, who came to the house unannounced and presumably one of the most interesting people she'd've come across by then. Silco, who showed up for exactly one day and played wooden cards with her, and toppled the little house back down with a giggle. Silco, who she'd recall as a distant face as she grows.

But that name. Silco. She'd learn about him, maybe, if ever she bothered to look into Marcus' old files or decided to go the way of an enforcer. That's far, far off into the future, but it's possible. Ren would want closure. And then she sees it, she sees traces of him: Silco, who was never actually given a mark of identification on official papers—not like Jinx, not like the terrorist who'd come and ruined the relative peace of Piltover.

Imagine if Jayce or Caitlyn recorded him on ink. Slim, slight, rather finely-dressed; with his most notable features being the left half of his face scarred and grey, and a fiery-glowing iris atop a black sclera. Wait. I remember you. You played with me, a long time ago. Daddy was there. You were there. I'd let you into the house. Ren realises just who she'd invited in. The leader of Zaun, or at least one of the businessmen behind it. The pieces come together. Marcus' old notes make sense. Jinx and Silco. Silco and Jinx. Marcus and Silco. Silco, Silco, Silco.

Maybe Ren would understand. She was in direct interaction with one of the Undercity's most notorious figures. At the very least, Silco didn't actually harm her—even if the warning had been clear to Marcus himself.

Maybe Ren would look back on those last days with Marcus and be saddened by it—and not just because those were her last days with Daddy, but because there was also another father in the room. Silco. He wasn't making threats just for the sake of it.

Maybe Ren would also realise what might've been. She'd recall that name. Vi. Vander's daughter.

Maybe she'd hear it in the police department. Vi. Commander Kiramman's former partner. Vi. The girl in Silco's story.

And the thought really hits its mark; she's had it before, but it's only now that she comes to terms with its significance: Oh. She was separated from her father. Vi's just like me. That's the lesson Silco was trying to teach me. To teach Daddy. Would you be so cruel to separate family from one another?

And then the pieces come into place. Marcus was an enforcer—the Sheriff—and it was an open secret in the city that the enforcers as a whole held little to no love for those filthy street rats. They've always been a part of the problem. Why the violence? Why the utter hostility against certain individuals? Why this wall between Piltover and Zaun?

The pieces come into place. It's about family. It's about community. It's about the people you belong to. It's about the people you're willing to protect. Daddy made deals because he had her; Marcus had Ren. His daughter. He was willing to make sins and sacrifices just for her.

Silco threatening Marcus wasn't just a power play. It was also a question of empathy. You deal with yours, I deal with mine. We don't want to end up like Vi and Vander, do we? Imagine being separated from family like they were.

And then, there's that name again. It isn't spoken aloud in the police department. Hush-hush, you see, we don't want to piss off Lady Kiramman. But Ren remembers that name. Vi. And she remembers Silco. She remembers his story about a girl separated from her father. She remembers his little pout to Daddy. Silco wouldn't've asked such a thing if he didn't know the experience of separation—or if he was also facing the threat of it.

And then it's not just business. It's not just politics. And suddenly, Silco himself isn't just a funny man with a weird eye, and his friends aren't just strangers with odd body parts. They're people. Zaunites, and terrible ones at that, but still people.

And maybe Ren would understand.

[kafus]

why 100%ing the pokeathlon in HGSS is one of the longest challenges in all of pokemon

ok so the pokeathlon right. the fun minigame collection in HGSS that is sort of but not really a replacement for sinnoh contests. one of the achievements you have to get to upgrade the HGSS trainer card to 5 stars is beating all 10 preset records for each minigame in the pokeathlon, and this is probably what it's most known for outside of just being a fun minigame collection. i think most people beat all the records if they're going for completion and call it a day but despite how easy it is to get that trainer card level, it's actually barely scraping the surface of what this game expects out of you for 100% completion. i genuinely think it's one of the most insane pokemon challenges in terms of the amount of grinding and for WHAT??? WHAT WERE THEY THINKING AAAAA

okay deep breath hear me out. all of the images in this post are pictures of one of my own HGSS files that i have been slowly working on 100% completing the pokeathlon in. i am not done yet and you will soon see why

in the basement of the pokeathlon, there are four rooms that get progressively unlocked as you play. the first one ("solidarity room") is there at default, then you unlock the "trust room" by winning a medal in all five courses at least once, then you unlock the "potential room" by winning a medal for all five courses on the same pokemon (AKA what is called a "medalist pokemon"), and then lastly you unlock the "friendship room" by beating all the preset 1st records, which also gets you the aforementioned trainer card level. each of these rooms is there to display various pokeathlon achievements and holy shit there are a lot of them that just get more crazy as you go further back in the rooms so BUCKLE UP

this is the solidarity room, aka the first room. very easy stuff, the only records down here are in the glass case and they show your highest collective score in each of the five pokeathlon courses. for 100% completion of this room you need to get a score of at least 450 in each course and you can tell you've done this when there are two trophy icons filled in next to each on the right hand side. a couple examples:

the only one in particular that took me more than one or two attempts to get the score i needed was the jump course for some reason and i have no idea why honestly, i think i just suck at lamp jump. on the other hand the skill course is extremely easy entirely because snow throw can be cheesed (video of me doing this here)

next up is the trust room. mainly it features the glass case that shows off every pokemon you've ever received a medal on and also totals how many full medalist pokemon you have, as shown below (i don't currently have any pokemon who AREN'T medalists here, but medalist pokemon are given the red ribbon on the bottom screen, so any non-medalist pokemon won't have that icon):

yes i have 73 medalist pokemon at the time of writing this post. don't worry about the trophies right now, we're going to talk about it later

despite the glass case being the main thing here, the flag, jersey, and golden shoes on the back wall aren't actually there at first. they show up for accomplishing certain things. from left to right you have to switch 200 times in any minigame that requires swapping mons, join the pokeathlon (not necessarily win) 50 times, and dash in any minigame where you flick the stylus to dash 5000 times. these numbers might sound kind of high but it's potatoes compared to later and if you're trying to 100% the pokeathlon these will just naturally show up here eventually without you even thinking about it

amusingly after you get them and interact with them, it doesn't actually tell you what you did to get them there lol. it's just like wow! those are yours! crazy!

next up, the potential room: yet another glass case and a couple of tables on the back for more golden items that appear as you achieve stuff. the glass case this time contains all the records for each individual minigame, including those 1st records you have to beat as i've mentioned a few times.

here are some of my records that i am not so subtly taking the opportunity to show off here lol. i have played so much pokeathlon that all of the 1st records are completely gone from the list, i've overwritten the entire list from each event LOL. on the bottom screen, 1st records you've beaten get a little ribbon on the event icon... but hold on, there's trophies too!

yes there's actually two records to beat for each event, the one that gives you the little trophy is called the mastery record and some of them, unlike the 1st records, are actually pretty damn difficult to achieve. circle push requires 60 points for example, which requires you to get a score of at least 60 - and the theoretical highest score you can get, aka a perfect score, is 66!! that's only 6 points off from perfect!! and don't even get me started on pennant capture, imo it's by far the hardest mastery record, it requires you to pick up 50 entire flags in one game and for a variety of reasons this is very difficult and required me to soft reset over and over doing attempts for multiple hours lol. the mastery records are really where i'm like, damn as a kid with undeveloped motor skills this would make me fucking explode (and it did when i was a child. it almost did even as an adult. fuck pennant capture)

oh yeah btw that "Link" button in the top right is specifically for local wireless playing pokeathlon with friends and there are zero achievements related to it, there's no preset records and no local play is required for completion. figured i'd mention lol

anyway as for the two things in the back, the first with the golden pokegear is for 100 first place wins overall and the one i don't have on the right side is for winning each individual minigame/event in first place... 50 times. 50 times each. there's 10 individual minigames, and some of them don't repeat on any other course, so you can start imagining just how many pokeathlon playthroughs this takes. this is getting ridiculous considering the amount of time investment needed but it Gets Worse!

ah yes the last room. the friendship room. it's cute, it has a statue of you and the last three pokemon you won the pokeathlon with, so you can go in with a team of 3 pokemon you care about and take a photo of your screen surrounded by statues of your favorite guys. here the mons are just random though lol

however there's more to this room and this is where the true insanity of the pokeathlon reveals itself. if you interact with your statue, you get this screen:

as you can see, all of the trophies from the previous rooms are totaled here! the collective trophies are the ones from getting a good score on each course from the solidarity room, the trust trophies are from the amount of medalist pokemon you have shown off in the trust room, the potential trophies are from all the 1st records and mastery records you've beaten in the trust room, and the friendship trophies... well those are actually obtained from the big point score on the top screen, of which you need a minimum of 4500 to get the 10th and final friendship trophy. this total is made up of the sum of all five course high scores, the highest score from each individual minigame (after converting to athlete points, AKA the currency earned), and one point per each medal shown off in the trust room, so five points for each medalist pokemon.

and that's the issue. medalist pokemon. you may have noticed that despite me having a whopping 73 medalist pokemon at the moment as well as getting every other trophy in the pokeathlon, i only have 6 of the 10 trust trophies. do you know how many medalist pokemon you need to 100% the pokeathlon and get that last trust trophy? 200 OF THEM.

let me break down why this is fucking ridiculous. so first of all i've been waiting to mention this until now, but medalist pokemon aren't actually logged by individual pokemon, they're logged by species. this means if you go in with a cyndaquil, and then go in with a different cyndaquil, winning medals on both cyndaquils does not count as more medals after you've already gotten them on that first cyndaquil once. this means that to even attempt getting 200 medalist pokemon, you have to OWN 200 individual pokemon species - as of gen 4 there were 493 pokemon in the national dex including mythicals and stuff; that's a little under half the entire fucking pokedex!! think of it this way, there's 30 pokemon per PC box, and assuming no duplicates, you would need to fill 6 and 2/3 PC boxes with different pokemon species.

pokedex requirement aside, let's break down how many times you have to play the pokeathlon minigames MINIMUM assuming you win first place every single time and don't ever bring repeat species on accident. it's math time babey

you need 200 medalist pokemon but you join the pokeathlon with a team of 3 pokemon at a time, so let's divide that by three and round upwards. 200 / 3 = 67 full medalist runs. for each medalist, you have to beat all 5 courses, so let's multiply 67 by 5 to get 335 total pokeathlon wins. but wait, each course has three minigames! so the total amount of minigames you have to play MINIMUM to get 200 medalist pokemon is 1005. and again, that's at minimum assuming you don't fuck anything up!! these minigames aren't exactly short either, they last 1-2 minutes each and this doesn't count spamming A through dialogue and menus, picking your pokemon each time before each course, watching the cutscene of points getting totaled at the end... 1-2 minutes might sound short but even if we take out all that time menuing and assuming every course is JUST 1 minute for math's sake, that's 1005 minutes - that's 16 hours and 45 minutes of JUST pokeathlon gameplay, and that is absolutely an underestimate.

as you can imagine as a person with chronic pain these minigames are kind of painful after a while and so i'm definitely going slow with this grind but i intend to have every trust trophy eventually. i'm not the first to do it but i've seen very few people online who have even wanted to make the attempt and i want to be able to look at that friendship trophy screen and feel accomplished. (i'm also going to get that last achievement in the potential room but if i don't have it somehow at the end of getting all these medalists i'll worry about it then)

side note i think it's really funny how there's something called the Supreme Cup which is just pokeathlon but harder and the only thing worth doing it for is extra athlete points for winning (300 instead of 100), there's literally 0 achievements tied to it lol

oh, and an aside about how ridiculous the pokeathlon is - the data cards. despite all my rambling here about all these different rooms with various achievements, there's actually even more pokeathlon data that is accessible... for a price.

the lady behind the counter here will sell you data cards for athlete points which let you view more personal pokeathlon data on the computer screen right next to her. the issue is some of these are really expensive, most of them 1000 points or more, which is a minimum of two full pokeathlon courses probably won at first place each. and there's also one card that costs 9999 for some fucking reason, it's the one that shows your total pokeathlon playtime, which i think is really funny. you also can't buy it right away, you have to buy most of the prior ones first. they really said ok here's your reward for grinding enough AP to buy all those data cards including this 9999 one: checking how much time you've wasted on getting here! in total getting all the data cards costs 39499 AP. just to view all your data!! if you get an average of 500 AP per pokeathlon course, that's a minimum of like 79 pokeathlon wins!!

i assume most people have never bought a data card much less all of them, like most people are going to use all that AP for purchasing evolution stones and heart scales from the main shop on the right, but it's kind of nutty how much data the pokeathlon actually saves. very minute stuff. since i've bought all of them, here's my current stats at the time of writing this:

anyways don't do this unless you have a lot of time on your hands to tediously replay the same minigames hundreds of times, and if you do for the love of god rest your wrists btw. these minigames were not built for my bones and they probably weren't for you eitherSFDKSFD

[pathologickinkmeme]

5 Year Anniversary Stats Post!

Can you believe that the Pathologic Kink Meme has lasted 5 whole years now? It's true! We got started on April 28th 2020 and we're still going. To honor this achievement, I thought it might be interesting to compile some current stats from the meme and compare it with the original 2021 post and see how the fandom has changed since the beginning. Let's start with the most popular characters and ships! Disclaimer: We are not professional statisticians and this was mostly for fun, so while we did our best to catalogue exhaustively and calculate accurately, we cannot guarantee 100% perfect accuracy. We also tried to avoid assessing for values that would require more than a brief skim of the fills to ascertain.  Most Popular Characters

Fig 1.1 (2025)

Fig 1.2 (2021)

Artemy and Daniil still taking the top spots as the characters who feature in the most fics on the kink meme, but there's a notable trend here that we'll be seeing more of in other charts and that's the measurable explosion of Stamatin content in the fandom since 2021. Andrey and Peter were in about 4x as many fills as they were in 2021 while everyone else is only in around 2x as many. Stamatin Nation rise up! Most Popular Ships Fig 2.1 (2025)

Fig 2.2 (2021)

The kink meme has always been a rarepair haven and it looks like we've largely stayed that way, though a few ships have really taken off since 2021. Daniil/Peter and Daniil/Rubin have breached the 2% threshold to appear on the chart and Artemy and General Block are now vying for Lara's heart. Burakhovsky and Artemy/Rubin have remained remarkably stable, but Stamatincest has risen from a taboo niche to the second most popular ship on the kink meme (i'm so proud of us).

In case anyone is curious, last I checked, the Burakhovsky percentage on AO3 was at around 36%, so while we are certainly love the juggernaut on the kink meme, there's a lot more appreciation for everything else, too!

More charts under the readmore! --->

Biggest Fandom Bicycles

Fig 3.1 (2025)

Fig 3.2 (2021)

So we've already looked at the most popular ships, but another stat I think is interesting is one I call 'Fandom Bicycles' which is characters who... spread the love, so to speak. What these charts measure is how many other characters each character is shipped with across our catalogue of fills. For example, even though Artemy and Daniil are most often shipped with each other, each of them has been shipped with 25 and 18 other characters respectively. So who's your favorite town slut?

Ship Demographics

Fig 4.1 (2025)

Fig 4.2 (2021)

Some interesting trends here! M/M is still pretty dominant on the kink meme (like most of fandom), but our F/F proportions have marginally improved! For clarity, Other (bi) refers to polyamory, threesomes, and orgies where there are characters of multiple genders involved. Other (multi) is for fills where there are multiple ships of different gender configurations (e.g. A fic featuring Artemy/Daniil and Lara/Rubin where each couple is a separate unit). We don't have many of these on the meme, as I suspect that they're more typical of multi-chapter longfic, but there is some! Other (weird) is, well... the weird stuff. Ships between characters and non-human creatures, gods, concepts, architecture! Such classics as Artemy/Wonderbull and Daniil/Polyhedron are typical of this category. We also added a new category, Unclear, for fics where there is romantic or sexual content, nothing super weird is going on, but the gender of one or more participants is unclear (e.g. A sexy painting of General Block between an anonymous pair of legs, or Vlad Jr. visiting a gloryhole).

Explicit Content

Fig 5.1 (2025)

Fig 5.2 (2021)

Given that this is a kink meme, you'd expect the vast majority of fics to be sexually explicit and you wouldn't be wrong, but a whole quarter of our fill catalogue is SFW, whether that be genfic or non-explicit shipfic and I just think that's nice. <3

Trans Content

Fig 6.1 (2025)

Fig 6.2 (2021)

Trans headcanons are really popular in the Patho fandom and they are on the kink meme, too! We thought it might be fun to take stock of all of the explicitly trans content on the meme, though it’s hard to tell how this compares to AO3 due to people tagging for it in different ways. To avoid treating cis as the default, we chose to represent this in terms of content where one or more characters are explicitly trans (most of the time, it goes unstated) and we went about collecting this data using A/Ns, prompt descriptions, as well as skimming all of the fics for trans themes. Almost a 5% increase since the last stats post, which is really cool! Daniil is, by far, the most popular character to headcanon as trans, but there are lots of others, too!

That's all we've got for now, but we're excited to see how these stats change once Pathologic 3 comes out! Feel free to ask if you'd like to see a more detailed breakdown on any of these or if you have suggestions for other stats to collect in the future!

[leonawriter]

Okay apparently I'm going to do a study on this introduction, because going back to it? Especially knowing more about Hakuba via more recent Magic Kaito chapters? Fascinating stuff.

So. Hakuba's introducing himself, and he starts out by bringing up "My father spoke of you often" and "It seems you're a very sharp detective." Both of those are positive!

Hakuba is... high society, compared to Hattori simply hanging out around high ranking people and treating them like normal. Hattori argues with Kazuha in a very down to earth way, while Hakuba knows how to drink tea and probably how to set the table with a full set of cutlery (or at least how to use them).

So, Hakuba using their fathers to introduce himself is, to him, a normal enough way to say "I've heard good things about you, we're similar, I hope we can get along well."

What's more - Shinichi realises that, pretty quickly. Even if they hadn't met previously, he'd have been able to figure out by the words being used, that Saguru's father knows Heiji's father, or that they're in the same business.

If anything, I'd say that this slight culture clash is the second step of things going wrong between Hattori and Hakuba here, right after Hakuba being present at all, since Hattori had wanted Shinichi to take his rightful place where Hakuba is currently sitting.

Strike one, strike two.

Unfortunately, it gets worse from there, and I'm gonna go into it.

But then Hakuba brings up that he's not even fully based in Japan. To which, mostly Hattori is just "wait, what?" - but although I'm sure he means it simply to be as clear as possible, that could also be read as "I would say that, but I'm actually better." As in, being smug.

Strike three.

Still with "Kudo is the high school detective of the east, that's obvious, isn't it?" and rubbing salt into the insult to Hattori's bro with "they'd have liked me to represent the east in his place" but...

Oh boy.

This... this is also where I just stared and held my head in my hands because now? Because of something Hattori's said, and what he's going to continue saying/leaning into... we need to go back in time.

All the way back in Hakuba Saguru's first appearance, the papers say "just returned from London," suggesting (as I've seen someone say before) that he'd spent at least some, if not much, of his youth in Japan.

Certainly, he doesn't seem to speak with an accent in the present day, so he can't have grown up in the UK and only sometimes lived in Japan.

In Japan, however, he is referred to as...

In Nakamori's (uncouth) words at their first meeting, "Y-you're that bastard from London!"

No mention of how he has a fully Japanese name, partially Japanese features, a Japanese father, and no accent.

His introductory splash also frames him with the Union Jack behind him, showing off his Holmes cosplay and light hair. Almost all the major characters in the series have blue eyes, but here it's rather... plainly emphasising his Western features. His non-Japanese-ness.

Now, I do have to wonder if Gosho wrote that back in 1990 and hadn't given much thought to it. I certainly don't think it was intentionally cruel.

However, by volume 40, released in 2003, he's learned a bit more about social prejudice, and shows this with the Professor's First Love story:

This shows something that happened 40 years ago in-universe, with a girl of Japanese-American descent who has light, gingko colour hair, being very aware of how different she is, and not wanting her friend to see. She calls her hair "weird" and starts to cry.

Coming back to the present - content released in 2006 - let me go back to Hakuba Saguru.

Hattori "That's obvious, isn't it? And yer not even from this country to begin with."

Oh, Hattori. Only the previous case had you seeing how words can be as sharp as knives, and can hurt people.

Saguru doesn't seem too bothered at first, however...

First off, he points out that it isn't even his fault he's "taken Kudo's place" in the first place!

They contacted his housekeeper, who he's been shown to be very close with (I'd hazard a guess to say that, having not seen his mother at all, or seen her mentioned, Baaya is closer to him than his parents are), and when she heard that her charge would only be taking someone else's place since they weren't there, she got offended on his behalf.

Saguru, who loves this woman like she's literally his nanny, could hardly say no at that point.

More to the point: how he says "But it appears I am unfit to represent the East..."

So now we have Hattori having come in wanting his best friend to be represented and not sidelined just because of circumstances out of his control, and being in a bad mood immediately because of someone else having been called in. He also possibly inflates the number of cases he worked on or solved, by including childhood adventures, leading Saguru to point out that his count is only low if you only count the ones in one country. Saguru attempts to make friends with him regardless, and that doesn't work because Hattori is still stuck on how Saguru is "taking Kudo's place" and then focuses in on how Saguru "isn't even from this country" which... starts leaning into the uncomfortable territory of "Hattori I love you to pieces but are you being racist/xenophobic right now?"

I say that in the context of how Japan has a really big problem with seeing anyone who isn't fully Japanese as Not Japanese Enough, as I went into earlier. I don't think he's aware how he's coming across, by the way; he's simply got a big case of foot-in-mouth.

So now instead of having come to this conclusion organically and naturally, Saguru is offering to take the place of "Guest Participant from Overseas" to placate Hattori.

I'd imagine he won't be wanting to tell Baaya about that, for sure.

Saguru goes on to suggest that Conan (i.e, Shinichi himself) should represent the East instead.

I reiterate: they could well have come to this conclusion over a friendly conversation, because of how they have five detectives. But instead now Saguru has ceded his position to (as far as he knows) a child. A very clever child, but a child nonetheless.

The next time we're back at the island with Hattori and the others, he's already decided he doesn't like "that smug guy."

As said before, there are plenty of things that Hattori could have picked up on that'd suggest Saguru "looked down on people" and "had a prideful way of thinking" and he certainly could appear smug in his achievements.

Hattori himself says that Saguru was "was like a copy of [Kudo]." But he has decided he doesn't like Hakuba, therefore he won't like Hakuba.

A moment of Saguru bonding with Natsuki over their natural brown hair, a shared trait - we can see him smiling after saying "But... there aren't any tv cameras yet, so you could do what you want for tonight?"

In a way I feel like I'm making too much of a big deal out of this one thing, but I'm not the one bringing attention to it - Gosho is. Gosho's the one who reminds us that kids get into trouble for their natural brown hair, and Saguru got that too.

Those who've read Magic Kaito will know that he DOES have a Japanese school uniform - but as we saw at the start of the post, when he arrived, he arrived from his school in London.

This further emphasises how he's set apart from the others.

(An aside: it's entirely possible that his "school abroad" is more likely him going to sixth form, since our Secondary schools last (or did for me) up to the age of 16, and depending on the time of year he may have transferred over to the new school year already. Or he's just finishing his last year of Secondary. We don't know.)

Honestly... I'm going to leave this at that for now, because for one thing the post got away from me a bit, and became longer than I expected, and for another thing, I've covered the majority of the first meeting and both of them getting off on the wrong foot.

In short:

Hattori arrived with an idea of slipping Shinichi into the event, and was offended and upset when someone was already in his place. He, being the loyal friend he is, wasn't willing to simply let it lie.

Instead of backing down and accepting the situation and make friends with the new detective - who Shinichi knew and was acting friendly with, and who was willing to befriend him - he let his bad mood get the better of him and made offensive remarks of his own, most of which to the others would seem entirely unwarranted.

Because of that, Hattori still has a bad opinion of Saguru, and Saguru's opinion of Hattori has gone from "my father's spoken of you [positively]" to "rude asshole."

Neither of them are innocent, but when you look at them individually and fairly, neither of them are the only one in the wrong, either.

Like... no wonder they don't get along from here on? Wow.

I did not expect there to be so much in it, but there we go.

[cursedtrans]

Stars in Limbus Company

Spoilers for all of Limbus

Stars in Limbus are one of the first things mentioned, and one of the most significant things in the story. As mentioned in this post, stars themselves are extremely important and powerful entities in the Project Moon universe, so let's see if we can't extrapolate some meaning from them.

First off, let's go over the major revelation given at the end of Canto 7, because it helps clarify a lot of earlier moments and helps setup my main theory about everyone's favorite amnesiac protagonist.

For clarification, a nebula is defined as such by NASA. A nebula is a giant cloud of dust and gas in space. Some nebulae (more than one nebula) come from the gas and dust thrown out by the explosion of a dying star, such as a supernova. Other nebulae are regions where new stars are beginning to form. I think the words Sanson uses aren't just esoteric to seem fancy. I think he uses the words nebulae and sovereign because both describe the individual they're talking about succinctly.

Thanks to Demian's constant requests of Dante for their drawing of a sheep, we know this conversation is about them in particular. The plural wording does mean that Sanson's 'shining light' mission involves more than just them, so put a pin in that. For now, let's focus on Dante.

While Demian's wording merely implies Dante fell from the sky, Sanson's wording implies a lot of things about Dante's origins and their role. I believe Sanson is using the later definition, as it helps explain one of Dante's key features, their amnesia regarding everything within the city once their clock head is put on.

It's only when Dante repeats this specific phrase that they really lose themselves, though losing their original head seems to have done them no favors.

It's my belief that the 'Dante' we know is, in fact, a newborn star that is subsuming the original Dante's existence, and will eventually serve as a 'soverign' of the original star. That is to say, one that exercises supreme control originating from a nation. This would explain a lot of... peculiarities regarding them, and let's go over each thing it solves.

First off is Dante's uncanny ability to determine between Distortions, Abnormalities, and Other entities. We've seen it numerous times throughout the story, and it's something that Faust speculates is thanks to the Golden Boughs. However, I think it's also possible that this is a inherent ability to Dante.

The explanation for this is that Dante themselves is an entity outside the normal range of humanity, and thus can have senses beyond what is considered 'normal'. This is even supported by Child of the Galaxy, whose sight appears to extend to their pebbles and grants them a level of sight unheard of. It's possible Dante's sight works in a similar manner, even comparable to shrimp seeing far more colors than humans.

Furthermore is Dante's revival ability. As explained previously, rebirth is a major theme of Stars in the Project Moon universe, so Dante being able to bring back the dead sinners would fit right in with something like Child of the Galaxy converting people to pebbles or Blue Star's more esoteric 'rebirth'.

However, it's my belief that Dante themselves is a baby star, and for the reasoning behind that we'd need look no further than Chapter 4's Tearful Thing, and the origins behind it.

The Tearful Thing is fairly different from other Star entities we've seen before, but it's effects are undeniable alien and bizarre. It's tears' ability to 'revert humanity to a more primal state' is somewhat similar to the rebirth given by Child of the Galaxy, but the biggest factor towards it's status as an infant Star are it's origins and what Alfonso says about it being an infant.

The Tearful Thing was found by Stephanette in the Outskirts, and we likely get to see how it was specifically born. From a boy staring up at the sky and stars, and having a wish in mind.

This matches a lot of what we know from the stories in Lobotomy Corporation. The sanity draining effects Fragment of the Universe has are eerily similar to how one could describe the boy's effects before he disappears, and the rebirth effect matches with how Blue Star followers describe the entity itself.

Sinclair and Faust put it best in the cutscene directly following the one where we see the birth of the Tearful Thing.

The followers of Blue Star weren't as insane as one might think.

Dante themselves seems to follow the story we see with countless others. Dante gazes at the star in the distance, repeats their wish of 'following the star', and suddenly has amnesia and incredible powers.

Now, obviously this leads to the question of why Dante isn't a complete abomination like the Tearful Thing or Blue Star. The answer in my mind is a few different sources. First off, let's go over Alfonso's own words about the Tearful Thing.

This implies that the Tearful Thing is merely a child of the real entity they found in the Outskirts, and that it's grown up in the time between Stephanette and Alfonso.

In fact, I've believe we've seen numerous stages of this life-cycle in game, and I think Dante is one of the youngest entities we get to see. If they're not even the actual youngest. Let's go over another important character introduced in Limbus...Star Luminary.

Star Luminary is an entity far closer to the sights of the Tearful Thing and Blue Star, and it directly references the latter in it's text. It's 'Luminary' name also holds distinct meanings, all of which can apply to it. An object, such as a celestial body, that gives light. In astrology, one of the brightest celestial objects, such as the sun, moon, or bright planets. A person who inspires others or achieves eminence in a field.

The first definition seems to fit cleanly with it's first text box choice, where you successfully pass the check to say the orbs in it's hands are marbles. That being the following, and what I believe most in the Project Moon universe think about stars.

This reads to me as denying the actual truth of the situation, and shows off the ignorance of the City at large to the truth of the celestial bodies above them. Mere glowing lights in the night.

The second box I think shows off the origin points of the Stars, before they were created by humans. This is when you fail the former check, and thus do not have the lust or pride in oneself to successfully do it, and are thus convinced they are more than mere objects emitting light.

It's wording seems to show an immense knowledge of the stars. The origin of the Stars are the nebulae in the sky. Mere speckles of light floating in the dark. However, what makes them 'capital s' Stars is the thoughts and wishes that each person etches onto their heart, giving them power. Similar to how stereotypical fae gain power from names, the Stars seem to gain power from the wishes and hopes that each person holds in them, and are birthed from these very wishes.

It even directly references Blue Star, which seems to indicate Star Luminary is an advanced version of the Blue Star cultists from Ruina, who has now achieved even more of it's celestial power.

Next is when you agree with the Star Luminary, and this is where I think the final definition of Luminary comes into play. "A person who inspires others or achieves prominence or superiority."

This is where I think the first half of the Luminary definition comes into play. Star Luminary's words directly call out that you want to return to that place, and gives you a blue star in return. It's actively inspiring you to become a acolyte of Blue Star, and showing off it's Luminary abilities there.

This is where the other half comes into play, and where I think it can be neatly defined as a adolescent/teenaged star comes into play. It admits with sadness that it can no longer simply go back to the Blue Star anymore like the other acolytes of Blue Star, but is actively becoming a new star.

This admission of becoming a new Star in the sky is fairly unique, and neatly completes Stars in Project Moon. So let's go over the full life cycle of a Star.

Stars can be formed in Project Moon in two ways. Either by wishing upon the lights in the sky like the unnamed boy or Dante, or becoming a follower like Blue Star acolytes or even Fragment of the Universe. The former costs the memories of the individual, while the latter costs your sanity and former ideals. From there, a young star advances in their abilities by becoming more and more powerful. We see this directly through Star Luminary and even the supposed power of the original Tearful Thing. Along the way, one naturally makes a choice. Either they are subsumed into the original Star, or become a new one. We see this with Blue Star's acolytes and Star Luminary. The Blue Star acolytes seen in Ruina and read about in Lobotomy Corporation all end up becoming a part of Blue Star, likely growing it's power through their wishes and desires, or more pragmatically (and unlikely, given Luminary's wording) being born in their image like the Blue Star cultists claim. Luminary, however, outgrew the ability to be subsumed, and is thus destined to become a new star.

This brings me all the way back to Demian and Sanson's conversation about Dante. Unpin that note about the plurality of nebulae, because here's where it comes into play for Sanson.

Sanson's main goal here seems to be to round up every acolyte and get them to their original Stars, while preventing the sane individuals from undergoing the life cycle of a Star. This appears very noble, as the subsuming presence of Stars and their cults seems like a major threat that even the Head could be scared of, considering how much they discourage exploring the Outskirts.

However.

This means essentially feeding Dante to an eldritch abomination, and I don' think anyone particularly wants that. Additionally, I've yet to analyze Demian's whole place in this, and I believe he has his own selfish goals and motivations for all of this messing about with Stars and Mirror Worlds.

But that analysis of Demian will have to wait for another day.

(thanks to @lu-is-not-ok for inspiring abno analysis, and by proxy getting me to analyze Star Luminary's text.)

[project-sekai-facts]

is it me or does prsk not really cater towards hardcore yuribait or yaoibait as much even when given the opportunity especially compared to other gacha games, like even the wedding events neither of them was focused on a popular pairing or even just in general with the stories (except for minoharu and vbs i guess?)

Yuribait and yaoibait are strong words that aren't exactly right to describe project sekai. They're just alternative ways of saying queerbait, which implies a marketing strategy of attracting a queer audience by falsely promising representation. While they didn't advertise queer representation, spn and sherlock were accused of this due to the way they wrote their leads (i guess spn did become genuine rep. Ish). Proseka isn't that, neither are similar franchises, like bandori or love live for example. Even if they rarely say things outright, which admittedly is in part because of corporate greed and appeasing fans, I wouldn't say it's queerbaiting, especially for this game and the two I've outlined (well LL has a complicated history but this isn't the time or place). The whole idea of falsely promising queer rep or marketing off it doesn't really happen here, especially in project sekai it feels very genuine and clear even if not labelled. I put this down to the writers saying on record that they want the characters, and their relationships and issues, to feel realistic and relatable.

To actually answer the question now my little media ramble is over, yeah it does feel less compared to other games, especially bandori which gives content to multiple pairings for the same characters. Like don't get me wrong prsk has quite a lot of ship tease when you really get down to it and track through all the stories, but it definitely feels limited to only a handful of pairings. While prsk does give moments for multiple pairings for the same character sometimes it's just... less ig. Again i think it's just to do with the intentionally realistic way of portraying the relationships, so imo it makes sense that they only pick a hanful to give much more obvious or outright romantic subtext to (aka mmj/vbs), even if they still give little moments here and there for other pairings for those characters, as well as giving less-fleshed out or explicitly romantic shiptease for other pairings that don't include those characters (does this make sense? it's hard to talk about shiptease in the game without explicitly talking about shipping. oh well...).

(Also as an aside: mmj is also a bit of a genre thing, and a lot of a Love Live thing. I'm not reaching by saying that either, it showed up on the results to a survey about media the staff at colopale like. mmj does take a few cues from LL here and there, (rooftop practice, genki orange leader, the white feather, airis character design and voice actress) so this is probably one of them)

Even though the wedding events don't usually focus on a ship (aside from the Honami/Kanade one (for context it's honami's most popular ship at least on pixiv, although it's still on the rarer side of things, and it's not that popular in terms of Kanade pairings)), they have always featured popular ships on the card lineups, aside from the most recent one. the first one had cards for the two most popular Akito pairings, and the second one had An/Kohane and Shizuku/Airi. The second one is particularly notable since the event didn't go lightly on the ship tease at all in some parts, though it makes sense since both pairings have romantic text and/or subtext in the story. Even the first wedding event had a tiny bit in one of the card stories, and this year's one managed to squeeze in a scene where Minori imagines Haruka getting married (presumably to her).

We also had the buddy funny spend time event back in 2021, which was explicitly a double date event featuring an/kohane and minori/haruka (again two pairs with romantic text), and we've had other events that follow a sort of similar concept of two popular pairings doing something together, without the double date thing attached, but you can tell what they were thinking lol. I don't really wanna elaborate on that bc I don't wanna start a whole thing but if you look through the event list you can probably work it out.

But then again, this is the Hatsune Miku friendship game. Friendship and community are two of the core themes of the game, which again explains why it might feel like there's less romantic teasing and such compared to other games. Because there is. The events and other stories prioritise writing the platonic relationships over giving ship tease. There's definitely events that you can come out of with little to no moments for the ships you like. This isn't saying that other idol games don't focus on the friendship by the way, I'm just saying prsk has much stronger and consistent themes. From an objective perspective it has the best writing of the major idol games on the market (maybe, idk what's going on in bandori nowadays I've heard MyGO and Avemuji are really good).

Yeah it's the hatsune miku friendship game which prioritises realistic characters and relationships that's about the best way I can put it.

(aside #2: back to the idea of queer content, while they don't write the game, sega is pro-lgbt and is a sponsor of tokyo pride, and offer protections for queer staff. Other sega franchises like Yakuza and Sonic have queer characters! And mizuki is about 5 events away from coming out as trans unless they fumble super badly. So it's a nonzero chance that prsk can and will include textual queer rep in future (i mean they already have lol). It genuinely is down to the realism other fan appeal. Again this isn't to hate on other franchises I'm a huge fan of LL and a casual bandori enjoyer, prsk is just Like This)

[snuggleupagus]

My honest thoughts about The Scarlet Pimpernel musical (OBC soundtrack/watched the 1998 recording available on Vimeo)

It's been interesting to come full-circle with my opinions on The Scarlet Pimpernel musical. The first time I listened to the OBC soundtrack several years ago, I was deeply underwhelmed and disappointed by how the music doesn't really "feel" like The Scarlet Pimpernel.

Then, I got back into the OBC soundtrack recently and ended up really liking several of the songs I didn't used to (Believe, Vivez, When I Look At You, Storybook), which pushed me to finally watch a recording of the musical to put it all into context. (Granted, the quality of the recording I watched meant I really didn't hear much of the spoken dialogue... I read along with the licensed script, which shared a few lines.)

And now I realize the musical truly is just bad. Which is a terrible shame!

I deeply dislike what they did with Marguerite. She seems to be so surface level here compared to the novel and some other adaptations. She allows Chauvelin to slobber over her like a dog. I wish she and Armand had had a song together or that she'd been allowed to exist a little more outside of Percy and her love for him.

And Chauvelin - what they did to him, I really can't stand. His songs are garbage. They don't seem to focus on him and his own goals so much as his past. They truly reduce him to some lovesick beast that he just isn't in the source material. Put some respect on my mans.

I want to like Falcon in the Dive... I really want to... but I just can't. Terry Mann did his best with what he was given, but that song needed some TLC.

Really, that's one of my main critiques - the lyrics. So many of the songs have lyrics that are frankly basic, unimaginative, clunky, and literally sound difficult for the performers to choke out smoothly. And some of the BEST songs, if you heard them outside of the context of the musical... you'd literally have no idea they're even from a musical about The Scarlet Pimpernel, they're like generic love songs.

And why such an intense focus on love, anyway? Yes, the romance is MY personal favorite part of the original story and it DOES deserve some focus, but I was shocked by the utterly missed opportunity to actually show more of The Scarlet Pimpernel's daring rescues, or have a song based around him saving somebody, just... anything? Why are so many of his friends given weird non-canon names, anyway? Who is Ozzy, and where is Sir Andrew??

And the lack of interesting choreography didn't help, either. Watching Terry Mann and Christine Andreas standing completely still during several of their songs was frustrating. WHY didn't The Riddle feature an elaborate dance number at the ball??? What the crap?

At the end of the day... The musical is for one thing and one thing only: enjoying Percy and enjoying the Percy/Marguerite fanservice.

And by god, I DID so enjoy it... their whole wedding scene was... uh... very good. For me. It was worth watching at least once just for that.

[gloochi]

So I first heard about Toukouga Istar shortly before I started reading SAO. They seemed like a fascinating character, especially given the hefty gender ambiguity, but I don't think I was prepared for them to be such a very blatant parallel to Kirito?

(Also, I will be using she/her for Kirito here because she is such an egg, and this is my blog, so you can't stop me.)

But yeah, like, look at these descriptions of Istar.

Now compare these to an early description of Kirito along with a description of GGO Kirito.

Of course, it's not an exact match, but the flowing black hair and delicately beautiful face immediately stood out to me when paired with the long dark coat. There's even attention drawn to the very red lips for both Istar and GGO Kirito. Imagine a slightly older Kirito who didn't lose two years of growth to being stuck in a hospital bed and only subsisting on fluids who leans more into her feminine features instead of running from them. Doesn't that resemble Istar to you, at least a little bit? Adding on further, Istar is the first other person we see using incarnation flight in the modern Underworld, an art that Kirito thought she was the last remaining user of.

There's even the detail of their coat whipping like black wings, just like how Kirito does it.

When in comes to incarnation flight, Administrator just floated, and Gabriel manifested wings from nothing. It's only Kirito and Istar specifically who transformed their coats into wings (even being the same color). Eolyne is shown capable of it immediately afterwards, but notably, he just stands in the air as if there's solid ground.

Thus, Istar flying the same way Kirito does feels incredibly deliberate. Nobody else does it exactly like that.

The comparison of Istar and Kirito kinda feels similar to a comparison of Eolyne and Eugeo. They've got a number of similar features, but there's some notable differences in their personality. Where Eolyne feels like a more cynical Eugeo, Istar feels like a more immoral Kirito. Also, just like Eugeo and Kirito, Eolyne and Istar were close. Close enough to be able to hard read each other like this.

In fact, close enough for them to react emotionally to each other. I think they genuinely used to have the same bond Eugeo and Kirito had.

They were even close enough to have nicknames for each other, which they still always use when not referring to each other by full name. Plus, they fought in the finals of the Unification Tournament, just like Kirito and Eugeo were supposed to do before getting arrested, and just like what Kirito thought would happen if she had to seriously fight Eugeo, Eolyne defeated Istar in the tournament, and even this fight ended in a draw, despite Eolyne being exhausted already.

Also, I didn't have anywhere else to mention this, but it's notable that Istar's weapons are a saber and a handgun, which is very similar to GGO Kirito's loadout of a photon sword and a handgun.

Also also, I didn't even mention the final scene of volume 27, where Lagi sees Istar and doesn't even hesitate to assume they're male (an assumption that I'd bet so much money is wrong, by the way, given Kawahara's love of limited PoVs that inherently leads to some unreliable narrators), despite them trying to present more fem or androgynous. It was Kirito specifically trying so hard (and failing) to figure out Istar's gender without making assumptions, and we notably don't know Eolyne's thoughts on the matter. He hasn't referred to Istar by anything other than name yet, nor has Istar themselves said anything in that regard yet either. I'm willing to bet that Istar was probably AMAB and is either transfem or some form of non-binary or x-gender as it's often called in Japan.

I feel like someone like this being one of the final antagonists of the series is VERY interesting. Like, the heavy focus on Istar's gender ambiguity paired with them being such a blatant foil to Kirito might actually push Kirito to think about her own gender presentation a bit, and considering the sheer amount of promo art of Kirito dressing fem over the last many years, I feel like Kawahara has an idea of where this will end already. 😁

[milffrin]

kittyfrin+co au infodump

tldr: odile adopts siffrin, a domestic breed catperson. they aren't her only kitty for long.

au content warnings: pseudo-bestiality (catpeople are intelligent but seen as roughly equal to animals), dub&possibly noncon, mating/heat cycles, breeding&pregnancy

our kitties as of yet, and some safe for work information about them.

siffrin (they/he): odile's first catperson, originally intended to be her only one. they're a full domestic breed, but were specially bred to have light striping across their body. as with most domestic catpeople, they have a relatively complete understanding of human language, but are fairly quiet, relying mostly on body language to communicate with their owner. they're very sweet and relaxed, but as they've lived with odile the longest, they tend to think of themself as the 'leader' of the little cat colony she's started to amass. siffrin was the runt of their litter and got rejected by their mother, which is how they came to lose their eye; odile took them in when they were very little. catpeople mature quickly compared to humans, but similarly to their four-legged relatives, they start life entirely dependent on their mother; siffrin had to be hand-raised and bottle-fed!

loop (they/them): odile's second kitty, who only came about after siffrin reached maturity. they're also a full domestic breed, with almost entirely darkless fur, the only exception being the very tip of their tail. they were a stray originally, which is where they got all those scars, but they started hanging around odile's house, and she eventually ended up taking them in. they're incredibly vocal with a strong grasp on human language, and actually declared their own name instead of letting odile give them one. they have a very stereotypically catlike personality; sassy, haughty, and independent. tsundere, if you'd prefer.

mal (it/its): odile's third kitty. a bit of an oddball. as a mixed breed between domestic and wild-type, it's naturally more independent and flighty, but it seemingly decided to domesticate itself, making itself at home in odile's attic one winter and then never leaving. it understands human language, but communicates rarely. though it's a scrapper at heart and naturally stronger than loop or siffrin, it's content with the house's hierarchy... usually.

now, on to the lewds.

when a catperson reaches sexual maturity... they start regularly going into heat! this doesn't really have the capacity to be sex-based; most catpeople are bigenital, the three featured here included, and those that aren't just go into heat anyway. i've already written quite a bit about how kitty frin comes to breed odile, but, well, how does this work with the colony hierarchy?

loop is generally content to submit to siffrin during heat season, but they get into frequent spats with mal, who of course usually wins. mal doesn't enjoy submitting to siffrin, but it finds itself getting bred by him at... a roughly 50/50 ratio. it feels good but mal hates being dominated by a stupid little housecat.

odile fits into this in an interesting way. given she doesn't have a dick, she's not seen as a threat to any of the three, but that doesn't mean she's not part of the hierarchy. given she's got a nice fertile hole for the kitties to dump their cum into, she's something of a fucktoy for them during heat season ^_^ of course, being pregnant with so many kittens will end up changing your body eventually- odile's picked up the natural feline tendency for superfetation, meaning she's capable of having kittens from all three of them in a single litter.

but waaaiiit, you might be saying. isn't odile... like... oldsies... how's she getting knocked up? i'm glad you asked! catpeople dicks have barbs on them that can trigger ovulation. this inexplicably works on odile because i want it to. shut up.

siffrin's been breeding with her for the longest, so they know what she likes best. they like eating her out. loop is a selfish lover and fucks purely for their own pleasure which is actually quite enjoyable all things considered. mal... is greedy, and likes to herd odile off somewhere private to mate, making off with her while siffrin and loop are distracted. it's somewhere between loop and sif; rough and needy like loop, but also very cuddly... it's the most likely of the trio to go multiple rounds.

well! that'ssss. really all i have for the kitties right now. i've been considering the king as possibly a full-blooded wild-type catfella that odile somehow ends up with but that's still in the thinking stage... have fun with this..

[error501blog]

Race, Live-Action Casting, and Ninjago

I'll start by saying something everyone can agree on.

No Chris Pratt.

Now that's out of the way I want to state my purpose for this rant. It's to spark discussion. I want to hear other people's ideas and perspectives. I'm one Asian American out of literal billions. I know after typing everything out I'll feel bad, but this feels like a discussion the fandom needs to address. Every perspective is worth considering and thinking through.12

I'm not worried about the casting. Warner Bros. is a big studio that doesn't want any negative press. At least, Kai and Nya are going to be Asian. I'm worried about the other Ninja, mainly Lloyd. But I think the studio doesn't want to be cancelled, so that's not my number one worry. My number one worry is Garmadon. If Garmadon is in the movie, will his skin be literally black? his can be sidestepped if Garmadon isn't included period. But the Hagemans love their emo dad. Still, I don't want blackface Garmadon.

My theory is the casting will have a similar model to what Avatar did in it's live action. There were white voice actors, now they're played by a diverse cast. Kiawentiio is amazing, but not as tan as Katara was in the animated series. (That's a discussion within itself) There was a controversy with Ian Ousley. I'm not going to get into those topics, but they did happen.

However, the worry for many comes from the fact Ninjago is more racially ambiguous than Avatar: The Last Airbender. Almost all the characters-with exceptions being the Water Tribes and Sun Warriors-are Asian. Avatar: The Last Airbender has characters with a variety of skin tones and facial features. Ninjago has almost all of it's characters with yellow skin. Which is typical for LEGO, but feels iffy in an Asian inspired world. The fact everyone has yellow skin lends to an almost race blind world. However, names come from countries. Completely human characters have blond/ginger hair. Lloyd and Master Wu have blond hair. Master Wu is especially weird because he has the aesthetic of the Hollywood wise old Asian martial arts teacher there to help the protagonist. But he's blond.

In a cartoon I can suspend my disbelief. In the show I can't see facial features. Everyone in Ninjago has the same eyes, unless if you're a robot, one of the very few women, or Lloyd. I can live with this in an animated show from the 2010s.

In live action films, there are close-up shots. People will stand next to each other. I know what real life people look like when I'll see the movie. This shouldn't matter to me. I shouldn't care so much, but the history of whitewashing roles in media is too vast. We interpret the world through race.

White is the default in the US. Examples being Ghost in the Shell Warriors TV series. Asian roles for media set in Asia for Asian roles are cast by white people with white people since 1961.

What I want to know is the world of the live action going to be Asian inspired? And the better question: should it?

I don't know.

Ninjago since day 1 has had a tenuous at best relationship with race. It is clearly in an Asian inspired world. Everyone knows Ninjas come from Japan. However, it's just an aesthetic.

The worldbuilding is very Western. If we compare to Avatar again, there is no use of any Asian philosophy in Ninjago. Avatar is chalked full of allusions to Buddhism and Japanese Imperialism. But, Avatar is a more well thought out show than the show where one of the main characters gets sent into another dimension and becomes evil, violates the Geneva convention then is given no acknowledgement and I hate it.

Ninjago when giving us culture that seems Asian inspired to me fails spectacularly. (The Kabuki from Chen's Island. That's a Tumblr rant within itself) The most obvious example being the yin and yang marriage proposals. They have Google! The writers could've gone down an internet rabbit hole for a variety of cultures. But we have this clumsy, "Will you be the Yin to my Yang?" It's stupid and I hate it.

However, Ninjago in the Wildbrain era started to move away from the Asian aesthetic. One could make the argument it started in Rebooted, but I'm saying Wildbrain era to keep this post short. We go to a pyramid in Secrets of Forbidden Spinjitzu. We meet the Ice people from the Never Realm which I think are inspired by the Inuit. I'm not too sure.

Dragon's Rising has done away with any resemblance to Asian culture. Sora is Japanese name, so maybe? But all the resemblance is from the old show. It's a fantasy show. They are a soft reboot. They could make their dragons look like literally anything in this soft reboot and they stick to the Western style ones. It's this big fantasy world, why am I not seeing any allusions Asian folklore?

But can't I blame Ninjago when they fumble so hard when they try. It's a lose lose situation. But research isn't worth it. Is a culture too inconvenient to even research? Because everything seems absorbed from other pieces of American media. Yin Yang has nothing to do with marriage-at least to my knowledge. It has to do with Daoism. There is no research or attempt. The show hasn't done a legitimate attempt in it's full run and that's sad.

We're seeing that when the Hageman brothers write they don't shy away from the Asian aspects of the world. Or maybe there was less understanding of Asian representation when the show first aired so they could do whatever they wanted. (And Wildbrain and Dragons Rising are more popular so have higher stakes if they fuck up too bad) This is racist, but it isn't coming from hatred. It's coming from ignorance. If this came from hatred why make a show about ninjas?

The Hageman brothers have demonstrated ignorance in their writing. I've been saying Asian instead of specific countries because everything is so monolithic in the show. It would be amazing to have this world for a big franchise shown to kids around the globe. (Especially to Americans who might not watch a show with an authentic cultural world if it didn't tie to Ninjago) But that's not going to come from them. It's never going to come from them.

Authentic Asian representation was lost when the writers were picked. I have no doubt there'll be sensitivity readers, but there'll most likely be a cultural erasure. I'm not mad at the Hagemans. I'm not even mad at Hollywood. But I'm disappointed in Warner Bros.

Please respond with your own opinion. If you agree or disagree with any of my points. Hell, if I said something racist let me know. I want this post to get people thinking and talking about their own opinions on casting and writing.

[netflixonyourcouch]

Sleep Token and Music Criticism

I'm going to try to get my thoughts out as coherently as possible, but my brain's been all over the place lately. I keep halfway participating in these Sleep Token discussions. The main point that I've come away with is criticism, both professional and from the everyman Facebook commenter, has been immensely ignorant.

Let's get the elephant out of the way here: Sleep Token is divisive. And they are divisive completely and solely because they are a metal band that mixes other genres into their sound, such as trap, R&B, electronic and some radio friendly pop music. They have been compared to Sam Smith and Imagine Dragons. Their whole getup, which consists of masks and costumes, might also add to the irritation.

Now, I'm a huge fan of music, and I never think that I'm outright "wrong" on any band. So I firmly believe that Sleep Token is a great band, and the criticism they've faced has just been incredibly shortsighted and uncharitable.

If one more person says, "They're not even a metal band!" I'm gonna flip. You ignorant motherfuckers. WHO. CARES. Who cares IF they are or are NOT a metal band. All of you sound stupid when you say this. But even with that aside, it's hilarious that they have plenty of songs with metal parts in them. Plenty. Yes, there are songs that are devoid of any metal element in them, but since there are so many songs that DO feature metal elements, it ultimately refutes the "they're not even metal!" claims. They're so baseless.

And the fact that so many people keep parroting this asinine opinion leads me to believe that none of these people have tried to give Sleep Token a fair shake. Like, they might have heard a few of their pop leaning songs and then made a judgment on the band of a whole. But it doesn't fucking work that way. They have four albums out, try listening to all four in full, then come back and tell me they're not a metal band. AND, if you speak from a pre-conceived notion that pop music is a lesser form of music than other popular forms of music (by the way, most modern metal follows a pop format...) then I don't even want to listen to what you have to say.

The critics, like Pitchfork and Fantano, have predictably given the new album a 2. Now, this is where the crux of my rant begins. I find myself thinking, what use is this to anyone? Like, you all clearly aren't the target demo for this stuff and then you go ahead and just trash it for clicks and views. It's punching down on something they think is beneath them and that's the worst part, it's like this isn't 2005 anymore, nobody cares that you're too cool for certain music. People would defend this behavior by some manner of "So, what? They're supposed to give every album a positive rating?" and it's like no. I don't like all music and I think some music sucks. But if I'm reviewing something I'd rather critique it in a way that doesn't resort to belittling or imparting some smug arrogance on the person that's meant to consume the opinion.

For example, I love the new album and I have reservations about it, namely that some of these cadences and melodies that Vessel is using simply doesn't last long enough in these songs. Standout track "Gesthemane" has Vessel doing this impassioned yell-rapping sort of thing but it only lasts 4 bars. Likewise, when he uses this Weeknd-like melodic progression at the end of the song, it also feels short. I would love to see him try to spit a 16 using a good cadence/melody so we can really enjoy it. "Caramel" and "Emergence" have similar problems for me.

If your review is simply "this is bland, this sucks, this is Imagine Dragons, this isn't metal" it's not good criticism. It's halfway interacting with the music and forming a biased opinion against it. Like, I don't like Taylor Swift, but I'd never use the word "bland pop music" against her. I'd at least try to be constructive and voice legitimate complaints. And that's all I'm asking for with Sleep Token (who by the way, I still believe are a great band and I think everyone is simply wrong about them lol). Just give me something substantial. Stop nitpicking over the genre.

[serinemisc]

@youzicha trimming a bunch of reblogs from Pointlessly Nonliteral Translation.

But I still don't like the two examples in my post above. It's admirable when somebody solves a difficult problem in a creative way, but producing "could mankind really be on the verge" is not difficult, you just look at the words in front of you. What made Woolsey so sure that what he writes is better than what the original author wrote? I guess what bugs me about this is that it is disrespectful, in the sense that he only does this because he doesn't respect the source text. If he was given a highbrow novel to translate he surely would not rewrite it, but he thinks this is schlock that doesn't matter. And yet, the game sold millions of copies, and we are still talking about it 30 years later—maybe it was not so insignificant after all.

I think the thing is the thing where you gotta unfocus your eyes and look at the big picture and not the sentences and words, you know?

I just got to a point in Honkai Star Rail where a guy is like "as a senior in the field, I'll give you some free advice" where something like "as the more experienced one" would have worked a lot better. This is the sort of thing that happens when you get too fixated on how to translate sempai (technically the Chinese xianbei but same thing).

I do understand that your point is "you can do a translation without adding in your own interpretation" but my point is that it's actually really hard to do that without making it sound awkward.

Speaking of Honkai Star Rail, it just translated " 'Kindness' is my pronoun" to " 'Kindness' is my middle name". I actually really like that one (Chinese doesn't have middle names). Uh, that wasn't relevant, I'm just playing Honkai Star Rail right now.

To be clear this was just an exercise for learning Japanese, it's not advice about how to do professional translation. But if you try, for most prose text I think it's quite possible to follow these rules and produce something that still sounds like natural English. I think that's a realistic standard to compare other translations against.

I presume you've read a translated light novel? Those read noticeably more awkwardly because they're usually closer or more literal translations. I would assume that avoiding that is the main reason most other translations take more liberties.

I think translated light novels are probably somewhere around the amount of literalism you prefer, so I just want to point out that I at least find them annoying to read in English, and that probably says something about general preferences.

(Why is a translated light novel more literal? My guess is because in a game, the thing you want to preserve is the plot, while in a book, )

To be clear, I definitely don't think that translating literally is obligatory or is an end in itself. I post about the virtues of literalism, but that's because I think the overall discourse is too one-sided and everyone takes it for granted that "literal is bad".

When I watch anime with friends, I like to infodump about the differences between the Japanese and the English subtitles, but usually, if I dislike something, it's usually an attempt to translate a word that could have better been done with a rephrase ("sempai" to "senior", very commonly). So while I agree that both extremes are bad, that informs which side I'm generally pushing for.

I think you sometimes overestimate how much impact the lack of a common ancestor language has, when something is maybe explained by a particular grammatical feature in isolation.

I mean, this is just my experience, finding sentence-for-sentence translations flow a lot better between Spanish and English, than between Japanese and English.

But yeah I dunno, it's not out of the question that my highest fluencies being in English/Japanese/Chinese makes me assume that something like English/German are more similar than they actually are. But I still feel like I'm right. Like, what PIE language would have a chart like this?