#commute was 2 hours long
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Also increasingly aware that a LOT of people "manage" getting through the 40+ hour work week by sleeping less than is healthy and relying on stimulants like coffee and energy drinks to keep them going.
For people who are unwilling or unable to do this...work really does just dominate your life. Like we really should not have to rely on unhealthy practices just to have a social life or keep on top of housework or whatever.
I know I post about this a lot but I'm so TIRED all the time and it's just so depressing that this is how we're expected to spend the one life we have.
#i have to get at least 8 hours of sleep a night to even barely function#with sleep#getting ready for work#commute#cooking#and errands#I typically have maybe 2-3 hours to actually do what i want in a day#and I'm usually too tired to actually do the things i want to do#and that's with a very short commute#if i actually had a long commute I'd basically do nothing but work#i see my friends like once every few weeks or months#because we're all so fucking busy with work and have such little time for socialising#and none of us even have kids or anything!!
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wip posting just to get something out there, and it's def a mixed bag!! the only thing more inconsistent than my posting schedule is my art style RIP
#wip#yapping below#1. sinnohtrio group pic where nothing bad has happened yet... dedicated sinnoh post coming soon#2. personalizing dawn and lyra's togekisses with different coloring and markings based on region. there's lyra's omelette :]#3. timeskip red and leaf except it's just pikachu#4. top left is all the assets i made for my cs final project! a little cherrim themed browser game#then there's sprites for my champion dawn; cool concept methinks but it's definitely a work in progress. peep the giratina hairclips#some vaugely lugia/ho-oh inspired protag ideas for a hgss sequel#anddd a bunch of background doodles. goldenrod flower shop and a very saturated mt. silver#in timeskip there shall be a proper town at mt. silver's base to officially bridge kanto and johto (and make lyra's work commute easier)#5-7 is me spitballing ideas abt pokemon biology#dratini & dragonair are forever sea snakes to me!!! though i do enjoy the amphibian interpretations#also i didn't know dragonite island was already a thing from pokeani... rip wyverse dragon master lore#i think crobat looks goofy no matter how you stylize it. silver and his big bumbling bat that insists on grooming its trainer. so unserious#there's a togekiss page too but then i remembered egg groups are a thing so i'm revising parts of it#i spent so long trying to come up with a reasonable wing-to-body ratio for togekiss and crobat. literally useless when dragonite can#apparently fly around the globe in 16 hours. are you Kidding me. dragons weren't even merging with jet planes until gen 3.#OK that is all. sorry for the lack of uploads wah#i'm like a ferret hoarding all my doodles until the quantity > quality lever switches in my brain to give the 👍 to post#i did made a spam blog but who knows if i'll actually post on there lol! probably for non-pkmn related stuff
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it kills me hearing european people talk about commuting / how long it takes to get somewhere
#aristotle.txt#america is land of the 2 hour long commute not wven gonna lie#this is like true x3 depending on where ur from
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the miserable angry person I become when I haven't eaten is, in a word, atrocious. it is 9pm I have not had my dinner murder is about to be on the menu if I don't fix this soon
#i spent. SO LONG (5min) trying to iron a shirt that would NOT be ironed#and then SO LONG (60 seconds) futilely trying to shove the ironing board closed (gave up and left)#and now i want to CRY because i CANT STAND INDECISIVE YOUNG MEN#what is going ON in your BRAIN if you would COMMUNICATE i might UNDERSTAND!!!!! WHAT is the struggle WHAT is going on#if you were INTERESTED as so many people have CLAIMED YOU WERE why didn't you SAY anything why didn't you DO anything!!!!!!!!!!#LIFE IS LITERALLY SO SHORT WHAT IS GOING ONNNN I CANNOT SIT HERE WAITING FOR YOU FOREVER I CANNOT !!!!!#they said it might be because you had qualms about long distance. BOY I WOULD'VE GIVEN LONG DISTANCE AN ENTHUSIASTIC SHOT#not to be like. once again i am the one more interested i am the one so ready to open my heart i am the one more invested#but like. dude. we live in an age of technology. if you want to get to know me. TEXT ME I'M LITERALLY IN THE SAME COUNTRY!!!!!!!#also what a day this has been. i agreed to teach sunday school (i am burned out and felt dread the whole time and then after i said yes)#and then socialized with too many people and then spent about 2 hours commuting and then came home and watched a romcom#that was happy that made me sad because it was happy. i too would like to be treated tenderly and pursued intentionally for once. anyways#in the same day one friend got engaged to her best friend and one friend got involved with a horrible boy and the whiplash was Horrendous#also if you cant tell i am indeed on my period and feel like too much and not enough lol i need to be alone for a little while
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I don’t think people realize that makensy still has that damn power. she could very well use it after the ceremony if she gets blindsided and put up
which only furthers the narrative that I have in my mind that Tucker is only doing all this mess to flush out that power… like he had been suggesting for DAYS
#bb26#bb26 makensy#bb26 tucker#all this mess and for what? half of this fandom hates you now#it would be nice to have a cam talk#the problem is that he clocks out like he’s got a 7am meeting and a 2 hour long commute
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I JUST GOT A CALL SAYING I GOT THE JOB IVE BEEN DYING TO GET
#I’m sooooo happy all of a sudden I’m great at customer service at my current place#even these customers can’t ruin this for me#no longer having to commute into the city wil genuinely change my life#I’ll go from an almost 2 hour commute to a 25 minute drive and it’s a full time council position! those are so hard to get when you’ve just#started in the library industry!#I don’t care if the position isn’t what I expect or not perfect I’m just happy to be out of the city and for new change I’ve been so#stagnant for so long#and hopefully I make friends ugh just so excited now I’m scared somethings going to go horribly wrong yk with the precedent my luck has set
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running late running very late and dripping in sweat also at the mercy of the subway system everyone please wish me luck
#I have a meeting with my contractor and I got held up at work and now I'm going to be half an hour late#And he has another meeting to go to after mine#I 1) can't wait for this renovation to be done and 2) can't wait for this hour-long commute to no longer exist
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@cax-per submitted:
me doing my daily check ins to see if the next part of There’s Nothing Wrong With Dale is out yet 🥸💻
this week has flown by so fast, holy shit. my original plan was to edit Monday (possibly Tuesday too depending on how long it took) which is already shakey cuz during the week, but between work and headaches, yeah no editing was accomplished this week
soo i shall be spending today editing chapter 34 of Dale (which is over 10k words) and hopefully posting it today as well
#submission#asks#story asks#nothing's wrong with dale#story status#its so long and needs a rly thoughtful edit so i didnt want to half ass it while tired/headache-y#i had totally planned for it to be out at the beginning of the week#but work has been crazy#i went into the office 4 of 5 days this week too which means 2 hrs each day was eaten by commuting#next week is gonna b very busy too#but i am doing things this weekend that are fun dammit lol#the chapter is literally 10101 words right now and i rly need to make sure it makes sense to someone who isnt me#and isnt just dale lecturing worldbuilding/his backstory for hours#not that he isnt doing that to some extent#but it needs to flow right or i'll b unhappy with it#balance!
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the middle school principal wants to hire me in a full-time position so bad.
and who can blame him? i'm that substitute 💅
#he outright asked me today if i'd be interested in being a para and i told him i'm taking in-person classes right now for school#on tuesdays and thursdays so i can't do that#it's certainly something i have in my mind as a possibility#and frankly. i LIKE school like i like taking classes but in a very real sense. i prefer working#i'm a lot more comfortable working as a sub now than i was a year/year and a half ago#even on days where i get tossed around a lot like today it's like yeah whatever. i can adapt#especially if it's at the middle school as opposed to the high school#the high school... it sucks. in some ways. i don't hate going there but the admin is.... eeeugh#actually the whole district admin has some problems but the middle school admin is very bearable#tales from diana#i do turn 26 this year though and i'm gonna need health insurance. i've been very aware of that too in the time i've been subbing#yeah i like taking classes it's just hard to explain why i'm not like in the swing of things#ive never worked this many hours while taking in-person classes before at the same time#and the days i sub i have to get up earlier which is a bitch but it's so. like. yeah whatever i can do that#the largesse of a college campus is so strange to me after having taken a 2-year pause in my education#not to mention the commute which is long on both sides of the day#i dont actually wake up THAT much earlier to go to my class it's only like 90 minutes extra sleep anyway#when i sub i'm almost immediately *doing something* in my day. college is a lot of wandering and waiting around#the lack of business that i feel compared to being in a public middle or high school makes the day somehow no less weary for me#i hope i get more used to it i guess#i'm still not used to my new 5-day schedule of babysitting/class/subbing/class/subbing#every friday no longer feels like a friday and it's super odd to me#like it's delightful to be reminded that it's friday but i don't feel at all like it's even been 1 week#idk. yeah. everything's different now
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extremely embarassing to be such a fucking slow reader at my ripe age (when i used to borrow like 45 books a month) but i WILL finish gideon the ninth even ifit takes me a month
#the thing is if i have free time my default will be to watch a movie#or scroll unfortunately#so i basically only read in transports#and i just read slowly so i'll lnly get through a handful of pages during ly almot hour long commute#so now i'm 300 pages into this book i started 2 weeks ago#when i used to get through that in like. a day or two
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Finally got a fucking job offer OTL
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my son name of Baked Bean
#ive had a very long 2 days at work so i brought my son for emotional support#and godDAMN did i end up needing him#i didnt get home until an extra hour late#and thats on TOP of my 90 minute commute each way#oh well tims made me an extra drink on accident so not everything is bad#this is my joltik from japan#hes lifesize#:3#named him baked bean because he has beans in his butt#but he himself is only a singular bean#(a baked one at that)#ironic because i dont like baked beans#pokemon#joltik#work#baked bean#bean#driving#street#nintendo#nintendo switch#pokemon swsh#pokemon sv#pokemon bw
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Trying to get ahead of an unsustainability cycle that might be starting up this week,,, (I start work).
#this turned into a bit of a rant whoops#mypost#have been chilling recovering from breast reduction the last month#steadily helping my mom out around the house more and more#but neow imma be working a ~35hr week (not including commute times during rush hour rip)#starting tmr#and I’m remembering that 1) it takes me more time to shower bc I have to be careful with boobz. also I have to wash my bra every night bc da#scars can’t get infected. so the whole process of showering is connected to also washing and drying my bra and putting on lotions n such so#it takes an hour minimum#2) doing stuff for my mom… is always spontaneous and urgent and takes up more time/energy than I think#3) my mom is bad at food stuff on a personal level and that’s transferring to the household bc a lot of stuff including a) she’s hella busy#and stressed. b) the price of food 💀keeps goin up ayoo. c) she is restricting herself to only eating twice a day??? idk why????#d) she also considers a meal to be anything she throws together no matter how unbalanced/nontasty it is#e) I’m also so bad at cooking/meal prep/etc but lowkey have a Thing abt food rn and cannot eat random junk even if I’m v hungry#. all this to say: idk how to do my household duties (communicating with mom. nightly dishes. small stuff that builds) when I have a feeling#imma be hella hungry this whole week.#WAIT I FORGOT THO IMMA BE MAKING MONEYYYY 💰 💴 💵 so I can pay for lunch at work ayooo#((not thinking abt budgeting atm lol 😬. I’m fortunate enough to have a 529 plan for college so semester times are all g)#4) I’m also doing two coursera courses atm (personal finance for young adults and Good With Words) …. I will prob not be able to get much#done in these courses when I have a full week rip#5) I gotta prepare for abroad (applying for visa. dealing with large government structures 😭😭😭) and in general attend to my emails#all dis. hmm#oh and also personal upkeep: gotta order eczema lotion. gotta get in contact with doctors abt leg and jaw PT. gotta follow thru with PT.#falling behind on a productive schedule while balancing my moms needs and my needs and my long-term health/personal project stuff is gonna#be difficult…#hm#writing this out is. hm.#all g all g I am a young adult I gotta handle this stuff now 🧑#great freedom = great responsibility and all that shiz#FUCK I FORGOT I HAVE TO EXERCISE TOO FUCK!!!! DANG NABBIT
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sometimes God gives me a sign, and it's usually something like "You had three separate, unique stress dreams about your workload today in a row, and then you couldn't find your glasses even though you remember exactly where you placed them last night".
#seriously I KNOW where they should be.#so I'm moving my appointments with clients online today. NOT driving to school. which gives me 2 more hours to work!!! (long commute!)#Praise the Lord!!#God gives his silliest signs to his hardworkingest clowns
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We talked about building strong routines and how much that helps with mental illness but esp bipolar in therapy yesterday
And like. The past week or so I've been trying to get up earlier, and the past few days I've like started building a nice chill morning routine before work and it's SO good for my mental health, I'm coming into work in a much better mood
Like wake up, make coffee, go have a joint on the porch while it brews and listen to music before getting ready for the day
And I'm trying to work in just like sitting at my desk for 15-30 minutes if I have time, and just seeing what happens, surrounded by my art and supplies
Y'all this shit works
#personal#rambles#like? last week i was sleeping in till the last minute#and rushing out the door with no lunch packed and getting coffee and a pastry on the way to work#but now I'm 2 cups of coffee in and ive been listening to a record and drawing and its so so nice#i work 8 hours plus an hour long lunch and my total commute is usually an hour ish so im out of the house 10 hours a day#so i treasure my chill alone time
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my bank got affected by the deposit delay thing with the Fed clearing house and my employer has to manually resend it so I'm not getting paid til Monday...when I paid bills and rent already...and then I scheduled a COVID and flu shot and CVS but my insurance rejected the flu shot? so I have to make a Dr appt to get it.
I was going to go see Killers of the Flower Moon but see above about not getting paid til monday.. so it's time to rewatch nichijou
#You may be saying 'read a Books'#But 5 days a week I read between 45 minutes to almost 2 hours because of my long train commute
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