#communication is mostly nonverbal and here they don't talk at all but i can still hear them ykwim

[jaypentaghast]

She side-glances Lestat 3 times. First when Santiago says his name, so that may be the sole reason she looks at him, but remember that this is the moment she's scoping out the crowd.

To me she's counting him in too. Her promise to fucking kill them all is to him as well.

However, she's just seen the man with the top-hat. So I wonder if she's looking at Lestat to sort of... check his mood? Maybe see if he'd back her up? Let's remember how smart she is and how well she understands him. Louis gets him but she can become Lestat.

The second side-glance is when Lestat insists that she had her last request. And I'm sure that Claudia mentally came up with at least 50 new swear words for him right then and there. It feels like a "thank you" in the most sarcastic tone.

Then the last is after she finishes her speech. Look at how her eyebrows go UP. "See what I did, dad? Fuck you." or "That goes for you too btw". And how his eyes follow her as she's dragged back, what's on his mind??

It's a little conversation they have with their eyes, and you can interpret it in a thousand different ways but Claudia's last look in particular speaks of a familiarity that is oh so painful considering the circumstances.

Not to even mention her very last glance right before she dies.

Link to gifset

[zenala-art]

Do you have an infodump on your captain Agent 4?

Firstly, thank you so much for the ask and interest!!

Secondly, I sure do! Conelia's my first and main Splatoon OC so she has. a lot. of lore, and I'll gladly infodump some stuff :D

Let's start with her general reference sheet! I think it makes for a nice introduction:

I think the first thing anyone asks (reasonably so) when I tell them that she's the captain is "Why not Agent 3?" In my agent story, Agent 3 is completely MIA since the end of Octo Expansion, and even without taking that into account, Conelia spends a lot more time with Marie and Callie than he (being very introverted) ever did, and she's definitely more dedicated to being a good fighter. So, when it came to choosing who's going to be the next captain, she was a very clear choice.

Being one of the captains of her competitive team, she was already used to this sort of responsability, too! The NSBS sure can sponsor her dream of being a professional competitive player, and this just meant more time to be spending with the Squid Sisters, which can't be a bad thing in her opinion.

Here's an overall of my (active) agents:

Asra and Radish are a bit outdated since I've added more interesting things to their lore since I made this picture, but the rest pretty much remains the same!

Conelia really enjoys Asra's company as her first pupil, being much more proactive and giving more pieces of random advice than we see the Captain do in the game. After the events of ROTM, the two of them very often communicate mostly through sign language, since it usually feels more comfortable for Asra (who is mostly nonverbal due to some circumstances in their life, but with Conelia they sometimes speak). She's super excited and wants to teach Asra everything she can, acknowledging that they "have a lot of potential".

She also has a long friendship history with both Agent 3 and Agent 8, but they might not be super relevant to the conversation at hand? I do have this relationship chart from some time ago that could be a fast, superficial view however (don't mind the old designs, drawings are a little old, but the info is still correct):

So yeah, if we talk about the general character, Conelia has most of the attributes usually associated with Agent 4 (the excitedness and general perceived vibe, the "always busy with school" aspect of it, living far from Inkopolis or Splatsville, etc). The most important aspect of her personal life that I feel affects how she handles leadership (and therefore her work as a captain) is having inattentive parents who forced her to be independent since way too young.

It took her some convincing from the Squid Sisters to accept recruiting a new agent, even though 8 is mostly not working with them anymore - she just wants to do everything herself all of the time, even though she knows that workload would be too much for her.

I won't go too far into detail on her personal life right now (or I'd make an actual essay here), but hopefully this infodump was interesting to you :D once again thank you for the interest and the excuse to dump about my ocs in public

[mephistopheleswasrobbed]

I'm back with episode 4 of Peaceful Property and our boys are starting to be quite solid, so let's go!

1

They're not fighting anymore this week (although I suspect they might bring that back next week when things get personal for Peach) but they're still doing their good old couple bickering.

(I wish to personally congratulate whomever came up with this line. It's perfect.)

2

Pangpang's commenters are also still shipping, though they were mostly preoccupied with criticizing her and the government, this week.

3

They keep just being around each other. Sitting closer than neccessary, standing closer than neccessary.

They clearly find comfort in each others presence and constantly seek it out, sticking together for large parts of this episode.

They were this close to cuddling on that couch while the others were doing their own stuff. (And Home is truely not disproving the bi allegations with the way he's sitting? here)

Even when Peach cooks, Home, instead of helping/bothering the others is, of course, sticking with Peach (and racking up the ghost's energy bill)

4

Peach laughs at Home's stupid joke. That's like THE ultimate sign of a crush (or so I'm told).

5

In general they're so touchy this episode.

Starting off by holding hands when running from the alledged ghost.

(Btw, can we talk about the way Home looks at Peach here, because damn)

And after Peach injuries his ankle they get even touchier. Home is immediately the one who keeps carrying Peach around but even when he's not doing that they've got their hands on each other,

he's got a hand on Peach's back,

or an arm around his shoulder.

Through all of it Home's so gentle with Peach. Very sweet.

(And don't think I didn't catch your hand when you were checking on Peach ('s peach), Home!)

6

Discussing Pangpang's recent behavioural changes while casually fighting over a blanket. It seems they have taken her comment about them being the parents to heart. Also Home is the one who brings it up which goes to show that he's really been paying attention, trying to learn about his new companions just like shady uncle told him to in ep 2.

Appropriately, their fight ends with them sharing the blanket, so.

7

They're both so protective of the other this episode.

Peach especially. He's so far been mostly cowering behind his sister or Home, but this episode he kind of takes on the role of protector. He is, after all the only one who has experience seeing ghosts, so now that the other three are seeing a "ghost" for the first time and are quite distressed by it, he steps up to take charge of the group. Deciding when to leave situations and making sure everyone's safe. Notably he physically pulls Home (and only Home) along to run away TWICE this episode. The first time in the aforementiond hand holding moment and the second time when they run away, shortly before the shelf incident.

Home gets his turn to be protective after Peach gets hurt. I've already discussed how he immediately takes it upon himself to carry Peach around and sticks to his side for the rest of the night, but he's also not about to just let it go that Mr. Magician hurt his man, even after he tells them his (admittedly very sad, even my reservations about Foei couldn't stop me from shedding a couple of tears) sob-story.

(Sure Home, "friend")

8

Peach has become somewhat of a chaotic-rich-boy handler.

They're functioning as a team now, complementing each other and Peach is here to bring the level-headedness when Home get's a little too worked up. Cause if Home is going to listen to anyone, it's Peach.

9

They have achieved the crucial step in relationship closeness of nonverbal communication.

(this is admittedly where still images can't fully capture my point but trust me bro, it's happening) (also admittedly, there's no exclusivity here. Some nonverbal communication is happening between many constellations of their team this episode, showing that they've all gotten closer. But it's an important milestone in their relationship nontheless so I'm bringing it up)

10

Home notices Peach shaking when cooking and he's worried about him. (He had already witnessed the shaking last episode when Peach was making noodles in their office so he knows it's a pattern and not a one-time thing) It is in fact his biggest worry right now, as we find out when he's talking to Kan on the phone, and Suradech in the bath for some reason.

Speaking of that scene, he does get a little flirty with Kan over the call but even he admit's he's joking.

What he's not joking about is that he's happy that their group has clicked and from what we see this episode and the fact that he goes immediately back to worrying about him, I think it's safe to say he's mostly thinking about Peach when he says this.

In the first place, there was never really any major problem between anyone else, so it truely is this newfound closeness between Home and Peach that brings harmony to their little family.

11

Of course, while her brother and Home are off in their own world, Pangpang sticks with Kan. She is unfortunately a little too busy with her own insecurities to get much flirting done this week, but you can't convince me she wasn't a little turned on by Kan when she threatened to sue the "ghost".

12

Again, this week we leave the episode with a little nugget of extra Home and Peach sitting very close, bickering and flirting in the credits.

TayNew's chemistry is coming through in full force in these moments. I'm half convinced the director told them to just be themselves when they filmed the end credit bits.

[randomgooberness]

This is in reference to the one post where Gordon gets all embarrassed for talkin like a kid (and maybe I missed something) But does Freemind sign "sorry", or say it out loud? I'm so curious if ya'll have a reason for how or why Mind signs, or the fact that Gordon can even UNDERSTAND it !!

(ask is referencing this post)

TYSM FOR THIS ASK! WE HAVE A LOT TO SAY ON IT LMAO. @shineyfish 's answer: MIND SIGNS IT HE LOVES LANGUAGES!!! there's lots of points in Freeman's Mind where he speaks in different languages or references shit to do with that so it's a big hc of mine that he knows how to speak a bunch of different languages. Can't have prior potentially talking shit about him, and you can't talk shit about him if he always knows what you're saying! Hilariously to me though is that he Canonically doesn't know Morse code. Sign language in particular I feel like he'd know because it's a language where you don't need to speak to use it. That's perfect for anything where you need to be silent, for example, being in Panama with your buddy Eddie and you don't want to get caught.

My answer:

From Gordons POV, in my headcanons, he grew up learning sign language because of his autism- it made it easier for him to communicate nonverbally, especially because he was mostly mute for the first few years of his life(to which when he was like 7 or 8 he switched to never shutting up LMAO). Gordon couldn't actually understand that specific moment where Mind signed, because he wasn't facing him and was moving, so he didn't really see it- just a bit of movement(hence why he's confused in the comic). However, there IS a scene that took place a day or so prior(in act 1, that comic is in early act 2) that had them using it. I shared a small screenshot of the scene because it was really funny to me, but Ace agreed to let me edit it up and post the full segment here! Have a treat :D

This takes place after they get outside for the first time and run from the airstrikes- and go into the vents with the skeleton and the sweet voice.

WARNING FOR: ableism(internalized and external) and (technically)self-harm

"It can't be THAT hard to fly a fuckin plane!"

Mind laughed, half joking with that as he moved forward. 

It didn't take long until he was whining again.

"Why are so many people trying to kill me?? I'm awesome! Are they jealous?"

He didn't have enough bullets for all of them at the rate they were going at. The military should give peace a chance, or at least stand still.

"I'm calling dibs on the med station."

"Go ahead," Gordon chuckled. "Yeah, I think they're just jealous of you. They uh. They think the Science Team is too sexy to live." He wheezed.

"YES!"

Mind hooked himself up the the med station, silently begging the thing for what he wanted.

The med station, checking his vitals and seeing he wasn't mortally injured, did not give him any morphine.

"NO!"

He rested his head against the thing as it appropriately treated his more minor injuries. He didn't want to say he was getting desperate, because he wasn't, and if you thought that you were wrong, but... It was hard to be sober around this place.

He laughed joylessly.

"They've got it all wrong. We're actually too sexy to die."

"Exactly!" Gordon laughed, clapping his hands. "Let's uh, c'mon, Bubby I- dude what are you charging in the HEV suit station." 

"My MP3 player." Bubby said.

"What?" 

"Don't tell anyone~!" 

"...Okay," Gordon wheezed. "Is that what's playing the Russian speaking?" 

"The what?" Bubby looked...genuinely confused by that question. "No?" 

"What speaking?" Dr. Coomer tilted his head. Gordon sighed. 

"...Nothing. Let's move on." 

Whatever the fuck Gordon was talking about, Mind was a little concerned about it. Being overly Paranoid that you're seeing things can be good when you need to look for enemies, but hearing things that aren't there? That could be a problem.

Whatever. It wasn't too much of a problem right now, and they still had hallways to go through for a second time. He never wants to look at a hallway ever again. His headache was a little worse, and now that the noise was muffled he had a ringing in his ears. 

"Why do you get an MP3 player?? And why does the HEV station charge it??"

"I want to listen to my tunes," Bubby said. "The HEV station charges anything." 

"I use it for my bionic body!" Dr. Coomer nodded. 

Gordon rounded over to a vent nearby. From it, odd humming and whistling could be heard- alien sounding. Like the Sweet Voice. He pulled out his gun and headed inside. Mind heard it too, flinching. 

"...No. no, it's dead, we watched the bitch get torn apart by the doors, there's no way it survived that. I'm either just imagining that, which is concerning, or mistaking the sound..." 

He didn't seem to be talking to anyone, although kept his gun ready as he spoke. 

If nothing could kill that- that thing, then... "We really are fucked."

"No...No, I'm hearing it too, man," Gordon muttered. He was shocked that this vent was big enough to stand in, and walked cautiously. "...Maybe there's more like him here? I mean, it's called the Black Mesa Sweet Voice- it might...I dunno. We'll see. Maybe it's friendly."

"I doubt that, if Mall-cop was anything to go off of, it'll be irritating at best."

Following close behind Gordon, gun at the ready, he could feel his heartbeat. Something about the mere thought of seeing that thing again sent a spike of fear through him.

"At worst? I don't think I want to know."

"Yeah," Gordon laughed. "I'm tryin' uh. To be an optimist. Sucks." 

"That's the problem, optimism gets you nowhere in the long run. At some point, you need to cut your losses and start breaking shit."

"It sounds, friendly," Tommy spoke up. 

"Oh, right- you can read it.” Gordon perked up, looking at the taller scientist. “What's it saying right now?" 

"Umm..." Tommy tried to focus. "I-I dunno, I can't really tell without the- without the colors." 

"Oh, okay. We'll see in a bit, then." 

They rounded a corner, and Gordon noticed a figure. 

"Wait for my word, do not shoot." 

A flash from a camera behind them. 

"Don't take pictures flash photography scares him."

They got a little closer, and the figure was still hard to see in the dark. 

"...Hello?" Gordon called. 

A small buzz emitted from it, and then a few lower ones, purple. Gordon got closer, and sucked air between his teeth when he noticed it was a fucking skeleton. 

"...Do you know what that is?" He whispered to Tommy, who shrugged.

As they turned the corner, Mind kept his grip on his gun, assuming it to be an army recruit. He couldn't make out a weapon, but he wasn't taking any chances on that. 

He didn't believe his eyes when he saw it properly.

Option one, he was hallucinating. This was bad for the obvious reasons, but he was skeptical on that because the others were clearly seeing it too.

Option two, there was a real, living, sweet voice using skeleton in front of him. This was almost worse, because it immediately made him worry about Benrey. He watched him die. Now he wasn't so sure.

Option three, group hysteria. He wasn't certain on this one. 

"... I'm not seeing that. There is no way I am seeing that."

"...I think we are," Gordon stammered, eyes huge. 

The skeleton made a few more noises, sort of like a guitar plucking. 

"Stay back- stay back staaay back-" It was hard to tell if Gordon was talking to the skeleton, or to The Science Team. "...You guys have any ideas?" 

"...I could always punch it," Dr. Coomer tilted his head, though he didn't seem so sure. 

The skeleton whistled a few times, a soft, odd noise, before it made a honk noise. 

"...Okay, on three, we rush it," Gordon muttered. "God, I'm scared-"

Tommy perked up. 

"Wait, no!" He cried.

"What?! What?! Do you know what it is!?" 

"That's green!" Tommy asserted. 

"What does green mean!?" 

"Green means he's not mean!"

"So-" 

Gordon was interrupted by repeated whistling and buzzing, a flail of colors appearing. 

"What does that mean-" He choked. "What is he saying?!"

And then, suddenly, the skeleton reached a high pitch that continued on and on, and it was deafening, bouncing against the metal of the vents they were in and stabbing into their ears.

Mind almost dropped his gun, rushing to cover his ears. Too LOUD. Too MUCH. 

"SsHHHHUUTT UP SHUT UP, BE QUIET!!" 

"OW- FUCK-!" Gordon yelped, now covering his own ears. 

It hurt. It hurt. Mind felt like his brain was melting, and without thinking he started shooting blindly at the thing, eyes squeezed shut and ears awkwardly pressed between his free hand and his shoulder. 

He needed this thing dead... Again. 

Unfortunately, he didn't think about the current location they were in, and the gunshots only echoed in the vents alongside the creature. He really should have brought his earplugs to work, but they might not have done much for whatever fresh hell this was.

"JUST KILL IT I CANT HANDLE IT-!" Bubby screeched. Gordon, as if he were an attack dog, started bolting toward the thing with a shout- leading the way as the rest of the team followed. 

The skeleton, who didn't react much to the bullets, started running as well.

Mind squinted his eyes open, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes as he did, and saw the group running. Unbearable physical pain be damned, he ran after them, not wanting to be left behind.

He needed to make sure that thing stopped existing, even if the process of doing so was going to make him want to commit atrocities... More than usual.

Bubby raced ahead of Gordon and took out-  ...oh god that was an RPG.

Before anyone could say anything, the trigger was pulled, and a rocket blasted through the vents before exploding against the metal, sending a blast of heat and deafening ringing toward everyone.

...And, not only did it not break the vents they were in, but Gordon and the rest seemed to not even care, locked on their target.

Mind, who had uncovered his ears, deciding to just grin and bear it until the thing was dead, caught the full sound of the explosion. 

In almost an instant his body decided enough was enough, and he screeched, falling to his knees and covering his ears, gun forgotten beside him. His palms were pressed hard enough to hurt, and he was almost certain that when he took them away, the imprint of the gloves would be on his face. 

He didn't care. He just needed the ringing to stop. 

He didn't even notice the tears falling until he took a breath, shaky and broken, and heard himself sob. What filled his chest at that was a red-hot shame. What kind of idiot couldn't handle a little bit of noise? Even at that, he didn't need to cry at it, he was being pathetic. He was sure of it, nobody else could see him like this.

The gunshots were muffled and distant, still ringing through the vents as they got further and further away- much louder than a scream, a loud, panicked conversation, and then a bit of talking. 

The first thing Mind properly heard was footsteps and Gordon's voice.

"God, where is he- shit I hope he's okay-"

The large man turned the corner, and perked up, before racing over and sliding on his knees- he immediately put a hand on his shoulder. 

"Woah- heyheyheyhey- are you alright!?"

Without thinking, Mind HISSED at the guy, immediately scratching and pushing the guy away. Space, he needed space, don't look at him-

"GGET THE- GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME!" 

His voice is rough from sobbing, but there's a significant growl to it. 

"IF YOU COME ANY- A-ANY CLOSER I WILL NOT HHHESITATE TO BITE YOU." 

For a split second he looked Gordon in the eyes, and his own were full of fear. It wasn’t for long though, as he very quickly covered his face, scratching at his eyes with a screech in an attempt to make everything less.

"Woah-! Hey-" Gordon backed up, eyes huge. 

He didn't know what to do here- granted, he barely understood what was going on, but he had a feeling this might be related to all the noise from earlier. He himself fucking hated it, but he went into a tunnel vision trying to kill the damn skeleton as a way to cope- and regretted it, because it meant he left Mind alone. Not to mention, his ears were still ringing. 

He backed up a bit more, and sat down across from Mind, face twisted in worry. 

"Hey, keep your- don't touch your face, man."

"I'LL DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I WANT!"

There was too many people looking at him, he could feel it-

He hated these stupid gloves and their protective rubber, dragging them over his face just left a dull ache. If he didn't have them on he'd be able to be done with this, the sting from his nails usually tipped it over the edge for him and his stupid brain would start to calm down again. Sure, he normally had to hide the marks until they faded when he was at work, but it's the middle of an alien apocalypse, was he not allowed ONE source of relief in this hell?

After another attempt, he sobbed again, taking his hands down and looking at Gordon with a tear-streaked face. He looked tired. He felt tired. He didn't want to be here anymore.

Gordon frowned, shrinking a bit as he watched him. 

He was a little scared, honestly- he didn't want this guy to suddenly snap and decide he was an enemy. He didn't...entirely trust anyone here, but that trust was building, at least a little. 

He didn't know why he was starting to trust these people, despite how fucking stupid they all acted, or how mean to him they tended to be. He already sort of considered them friends, and hoped they could all still talk after all this was over. 

Naturally, this was scary to see, because of that. But he decided friends should trust and support one another- that's what he heard all his life.

He swallowed, fiddling with his hands and looking at the ground. 

"It's- you're alright, dude, we're. I dunno if we're safe right now but we're...you can breathe, I'm here, alright?" 

Was that what you were supposed to say? He wasn't sure.

Mind felt weak. He felt so weak. Useless, pathetic, there was no way in hell these people will be able to look at him the same. He needs to get out of here. 

As he tried to move though, he was shaking too much, that annoying tremble in his hands from earlier now a full-fledged tremor.

He only distantly heard Gordon's words but he laughed at it, hollow. What, did he think he needed help? Did he think he wasn't strong enough? He would have snapped back at him if the exhaustion wasn't so strong in him. Whatever. He took a deep breath, or tried to, curling in on himself.

"Hey- dude, please sit down- please?" Gordon put his hands out. "You're- you need to calm down, first, alright? Can you-" He paused, looking him up and down. "Auh, fuck, okay gimme a sec." 

He paused, thinking- when he was little and had basically daily meltdowns, not long after he became verbal, one of his old teachers used to give him a cup of water so he'd be distracted and stop crying- he later used this technique on Josh all the time. 

After a bit, he went through their collection from the vending machines and took out a bottle of water. He opened it and set it down in front of Mind.

The guy looked between the bottle and Gordon. Trying to think of any tricks, any ulterior motives, anything. 

He came back with nothing. It registered as a discrepancy to him, why was there no trick to this?

Suspicious, he took the bottle, slowly raising it and taking a sip, eyes on Gordon practically the whole time. 

Taking a sip felt gross in his mouth, and he cringed slightly, but drank a little more.

He didn't like admitting that it did make him feel better, and his brain was still shot with panic about what that was as he sat the bottle back down in between them.

Gordon didn't look at him very much- though the guy already avoided a lot of eye contact unless something stupid was said. He continued to play with his gloves a bit, nervous, and when the bottle was set down, he looked at Mind again, studying his breathing and making sure it was slower. 

"...Are you able to talk?" He asked, softly.

Mind opened his mouth to say something sarcastic back at him, Yeah of course I can talk, I'm not a toddler.

... Only to find that he could not talk. 

The shame was back, he hated this. 

Shaking his head no, he brought his knees closer to his chest, practically death-staring Gordon. This is your fault, somehow.

"...Okay, that's fine- I-I go nonverbal sometimes, too," Gordon said. "Do you know sign language? Or would you rather, would you rather we have uh. Fuckin. Would you rather we have quiet time?"

Quiet time. Just hearing the words made Mind want to hurt someone. It felt childish, and he wasn't a child. He was just as damn capable as the rest of them, voice or not. 

Luckily for him though, he did know sign language. Unluckily for everyone else, his hands still shook, and he was absolutely going to get snappy if he had to repeat himself.

"Sign."

Gordon perked up. 

"Okay-! Great! That's- that's great, uh," He  looked back over to the charred vent nearby, and then to Mind. "Do you need anything in particular right now? I-I'm uh, k-kinda scared to leave you alone, cause...I mean. Aliens." He gestured. "But if you want um, me to be quiet, or me to uh, talk? Or distract you? I-I can do that-"

Mind shifted, snapping his fingers.

"Shut up. Pay attention."

He took a second, and another sip from the water, before continuing.

"Don't like this any more than you do. I can still handle myself, not useless."

He paused.

"... I don't like noise."

"...That's...fine. I don't, either." Gordon said. "And I know you aren't useless, you've- I mean, you've kinda been the most normal guy here- and uh, you're smart." 

He curled his knees to his own chest, looking at the ground, before deciding it was important to make sure if he knew Mind was signing or not.

"...I-I've kinda needed you as a source of grounding this whole time, man. It's...everything else is fucked and these people, I-I care about them but they're fucking...confusing." 

The other guy had started signing something, before it died on his hands as he processed that.

Mind wasn't expecting at all to be told he was wanted, let alone that he was smart and helped ground the guy. 

Some weight eased itself off of his shoulders, and he finally looked away from Gordon with such scrutiny. 

"... Thank you. This place is fucking insane," another pause, "doesn't surprise me that you need me here just to make sense of everything."

Gordon let out a wheeze. 

"Oh, it is fucking insane, I don't- the rest of the gang is exploring up ahead, but uh...yeah no. Today fucking sucks. And...I dunno what that skeleton was but- that noise and us shooting shit in the vents? Dude, I thought I was gonna throw up," He straight up laughed. "It- my ears are ringing still. And I'm still hearing weird fucking Russian."

Mind laughed, silently shaking before snapping his fingers again, a smile on his face.

"What is with the Russian?? I'm surprised I didn't throw up if I'm honest."

His expression dropped, and he looked down the vents to where the skeleton went.

"Did you kill it?"

“…I dunno, uh- the vent suddenly dropped off, into uh. Fan blades. Bubby fell in and didn’t get hurt, somehow,” Gordon said. “Uh, they all started to figure out how to get through when I realized you weren’t with us, so I came back here to see if you were okay.”

Mind paused, going over the words in his head.

It occurred to him that he hasn't tried to find a secondary motive or worry about any aliens spawning in beside them for a bit now. He didn't know how he felt about that.

"...Thank you."

“Oh- yeah, man, of course! I-I want us to get out, leaving you would be shitty, you don’t deserve that.” Gordon said, and then started feeling a bit of his Dad Mode instincts kick in again. “You feeling better? Need food? I have more uh, more chips.”

Mind smiled weakly, exhaustion from his breakdown still flooding his system. 

"I'm good for now. Don't think I could eat even if I wanted to. Finishing this water though." 

He picked up the bottle, tracing over the side of it.

“Good- good idea.” Gordon chuckled softly. “You uh, you do that. Then we can see if we can catch up with the team, alright? Or wait as long as you need.” 

He pauses, hesitant. 

“…Uh, there have been a few times where I’ve forgotten earplugs for heavier experiments, and uh. Got overstimulated and shut down, a-and I always locked myself in my office when that happened, cause I was…I didn’t want to be judged. So…I uh. I can kinda get…if you wanted to wait a bit longer. I-I’m pretty sure the Science Team is chill, I know for a fact Dr. Coomer is autistic- Bubby and Tommy haven’t told me themselves but they’re. I dunno. I don’t think they’ll be shitty. But we can still wait.”

Mind’s grip on the bottle tightened slightly, and he put it down again to sign.

"I'm not autistic. I just... Can't handle too much noise. And it isn't my fault that other people can't do things the right way."

If the only reason Gordon was being nice to him is because he thought he was Autistic, he didn't want it. He wasn't broken. He didn't know why his chest hurt at the thought of that. 

He looked away.

"I can move in just a second."

Gordon raised an eyebrow at that- it wasn’t in any offense, it was…well, it looked sorta like he doubted him, kind of a sure buddy, whatever you say expression. 

“Take your time, man. I don’t mind waiting.”

Bite, chomp, kill. Mind let it go, for now, not having the energy to argue. 

After another minute or so, he started to move, grabbing the bottle. He went to check for his gun as well, before realising it wasn't holstered, and looked around frantically, panic rising.

He spotted it close by Gordon, and practically lunged at the thing to put it back where it belongs. 

"Okay, now I'm ready."

Gordon gave him a smile, and with a grunt, he stood up, stretching. 

“Houghman, Alright, let’s-“ 

He was interrupted by footsteps, and turned around, noticing Bubby turn the corner. 

“Dead-end.” He grumbled, Dr. Coomer and Tommy following behind. 

“Huh!?” Gordon gestured. “Wh- why?! Really!? How big is this place!?”

...

TYSM FOR READING :3 SORRY IF IT'S A BIT MESSY, AGAIN THIS WAS ORIGINALLY AN RP BETWEEN ME AND @shineyfish !

[pbandjesse]

I'm sitting at a beautiful wedding. It's been a long but really nice day. My feet hurt a lot but I think it's from the texture of my socks? Unsure. I'm still very unsure about what shoes to wear to work these events. I like a tappy sounding shoe because it makes me feel powerful but then my feet hurt so bad I think I'm going to die. Fashion is so hard.

Today was also just a very long day. Not bad at all, but long. I tried my best to get lots of rest before hand but I slept horribly last night. So I am a bit tired. I was tossing and turning all night. I couldn't get comfortable. I was either to cold in front of the fan or to hot when I turned it away from myself. So it was not a very restful sleep.

I had set my alarm for 930 but by 9 I couldn't even doze properly. James would come and lay with me but I was still to hot and did not feel comfortable at all. I did like being held but also. Man why can't I regulate my temperature.

James would make the bed when I got up. And then went and made me an omelette. They made biscuits for us again. I would take a longer then normal shower and washed my hair and it helped me feel a little more normal. I wasn't sure about my outfit. I like this knit skirt and tank top but I don't feel comfortable having my shoulders out at work normally. So I also brought a wrap shirt. And it's a very good outfit and I felt really cute.

I went downstairs to eat breakfast with James. It was just a quiet morning together. I cut and painted my nails. They were such a nice length but they kept bending backwards and hurting me so it was time. I tried to make them pretty.

Eventually I would go upstairs to lay in bed. And James would come join me and we watched our own videos next to each other. I didn't want to be leaned on because I was feeling kind of bad. I did wait until after breakfast to take my vitamins and while I didn't throw up I did not feel amazing. Laying still was the best thing I could do.

At noon we went downstairs and started getting ready to go. James was going to go kayaking and get groceries and wait for me at the museum for when I got there.

And I was going to art with a heart. First BAS class of the season. I was really looking forward to it. And it would be really nice to see returners and meet new people. And it was nice seeing Mary Ellen and Naomi. We had fun.

The project was an accordion book about your favorite things. And it was a really popular project. Lots of free drawing. While the teens like it I think the adults liked it a lot more. I did feel bad when a parent in the teens class kept apologizing that her son couldn't draw things, just scribbles. And I was like no!! He is happy and having a good time it doesn't matter what he actually makes. Next week we are going to try her leaving for the hour and Naomi or me sitting with him instead. He has an AAC device so he can communicate which is such a huge thing. Mary Ellen told us today her daughter, who is also mostly nonverbal, recently learned how to text and so now she can actually talk to her and I am just beyond happy for them. Like she's almost my age and she's actually able to tell her mom all of her thoughts. That has to feel amazing.

The class was fun though. It's nice when everyone is just focused but then I don't 100% know what to do with myself. So I chatted with Naomi and Mary Ellen and some parents. During the adult class too. I told a few people that I'm pregnant and that I may not be available for their winter and spring classes but we'll cross that bridge when we come to it. I hope I can do the winter one because it's in February but we'll see!!

We finished up right before 3. And once we locked down the building I was off. Heading the museum. Where James promised me a chocolate bar and a pink drink from Starbucks. Love my husband so much.

It has been a really nice night. Even if my feet hurt. I was surprised that Kelly was here! She's the Manager for the catering tonight, which has been excellent. And Jesse would hang out until 530 which was nice of him. Just made sure everything was good to go before he headed home. And I feel pretty good about everything. It's just practice. And this is a really easy wedding. 80 people. Lovely lovely couple. And since Kelly worked here for years she knows everything and I don't have to worry about to much.

The bride was absolutely beautiful. A pretty princess in a green gown. Just beautiful. And all their guests have been really nice. Her dad looks like Manny Patinkin, which is lovely because they are playing The Princess Bride in the movie theater all night. So sweet. We couldn't figure out how to make it auto repeat the film so I have had to go check on it a few times. We are on its 3rd viewing now.

I stayed outside to help direct guests to the wedding. Held the stragglers until the bride walked down the aisle. And it was a beautiful ceremony. Mo, the security guard, was like how can their vows be ten minutes. And I'm like you couldn't tell your lady why you love her for ten minutes? Weak.

The appetizers were great. I know I'm not really supposed to eat soft cheese but the brie with green apple and hot honey on French bread was so stinking good. I also had two fried green tomatoes with balsamic and some fried cauliflower with buffalo sauce. The actual vegan dinner option, ratatouille, was not my thing. I tried it but I just did not like it. Ah well. I brought an apple and yogurt so I wasn't hungry.

It's been a nice night though. I did a little knitting. A little chatting with catering. I made a print for the couple to take home and they were so surprised and grateful and that was really nice. I struggled to get it to print right too so I was really glad it worked out in the end.

The groom just came by and he gave me one of the comic books he made! He was like this is so lame but I made this to give to people I don't get to see much and I was like that's not lame at all!! I think it is really cool! I'll make sure to tag him on Instagram.

The party has another hour. I hope to finish this one knit panel. I am so very behind on that blanket. But that's okay. I will get it done eventually.

Tomorrow is me and James's two year wedding anniversary. And we are hoping to go to DC. I hope I am feeling okay enough to do that. I would love to just spend the day with my husband. I love them so much.

I hope you all are feeling great. I love you all. Goodnight!!

[flockrest]

wow. finally here to talk about my take on forms of rito languages!! it's a doozy, folks. there will be four i'll be exploring: rito script, rito shorthand, rito key, and birdsong. all under the cut, so here we go!

RITO SCRIPT

i believe this would most likely be cuneiform in nature, if only due to the constraints of rito morphology. i doubt they have any innate, very fine motor control in their wings ( "hands" ) given how big their feathers ( "fingers"? ) are, so impressions and/or inked signs that can be made with wedge-tipped styluses seem a little more logical than the more motion-heavy strokes needed for, say, something like hylian script — which they still use around the village for the sake of non-rito visitors ( notably carved into wood ), but many rito are better readers than they are writers of hylian script! not all, but that's the general trend!

okay, now...i am not a linguist. but i'm thinking the old system ( like. prior to, during, and a little after dineli's time ) was more logographic, and was used way, WAY less than rito was spoken. over the millennia, through language contact ( especially applicable to the rito, who were traditionally nomads and a bulk of whom are still travellers by nature ) and the natural evolution of their spoken analogue, rito script has developed into more of a logosyllabary! still used notably less than its verbal equivalent, but not to the extent of back then; all fledglings in rito village are taught to a decent level of literacy now.

i don't have a physical demonstration in mind because i don't have the brain juices for creating a whole conlang...but i want to emphasise that this script is reflective of spoken rito, which is a tonal language ( THIS IS IMPORTANT ) and not alphabetical.

RITO SHORTHAND

rito stenography of rito script! finds even rarer cases of use than its longhand, but that's just how it is with most shorthands, isn't it? penn is especially proficient in this — his draft notes for reporting are exclusively in this shorthand. makes it harder for those who might want information when he isn't willing to give it to read, and speed is a critical thing when you're on the field! also his notebook is tiny. his pen when it's in his "hand"? tiny. he is not writing longhand in that thing.

i have a more concrete image in my head about this system! it's primarily informed by and based on modern musical notation!! it would still vaguely resemble rito script ofc, but i think this would be neat given how music-entrenched rito culture is...and it's fun to think about possible uses for it as a code! is it sheet music or a message? it will be obvious to rito ( even to those unfamiliar with shorthand, if only in that "huh, this does not read like music" sense ), but to most non-rito? a mystery they don't even realise is a mystery slkfjkdf

RITO KEY

separate from any scripts; this is nonverbal rito communication! misleading title, i know ( <- weak for connecting music to the birdies in any way i can ). their signed language, so to speak, in that words and meanings are conveyed through manual/physical articulation rather than verbal — but there are still some vocal aspects to it as well? very little, and less defined in that it's just like...whistles, trills, warbles, and other actual bird noises ( almost dipping into birdsong ). these aren't necessary most of the time; they're used to accentuate or clarify signs, not outright replace them.

i like to think that their signs, when grounded, place heavy emphasis on wings, shoulders, head positions, etc. there's not a lot of individually bending wingtips/"fingers" — "hand" movements are mostly ( but not all ) fully splayed or fully clenched, if that makes sense? and facial expressions would be very important too, as it is with most signed languages.

and signs when flying...i'm thinking maybe flight patterns? possibly whole flight motions? this is where the vocal side of rito key might really come into play, but again isn't strictly necessary — especially if you're a good flier. does convey less specifics than its grounded form though.

most grown travellers and warriors know rito key. it's a useful language to learn! can offer the advantage of subtle but active coordination on the battlefield and such.

BIRDSONG

this is, essentially, "birdspeak". natural language of birds, including rito! penn proved that rito can speak to birds to such a depth that they are his primary informants, and even though literally nothing in the game indicates this is a universal thing, i am RUNNING with this tidbit and saying yeah. this is an inherent thing for the rito. not in that they're born with an automatic understanding of it, but in that it's the easiest thing for them to learn. like their first language! do you see my vision? do you see it! i get to decide this, it's my sleepover!! ( affectionate )

this is much more simplistic than any other language a rito would know; there are no specific words that would equate to specific meaning. it's all ( bird ) sounds! no nuance to this language. it's very direct, straightforward, and in-the-moment. a major case of interpretation =/= translation, which is why an actual rito language naturally arose sdlfsjdfk

[hershelchocolate]

🫵 pink

Great news in an effort to find guys that I don't talk about as often I literally have 5 guys burgers and fries that I so desperately wanted to share here

Amaranth, the Monster in charge of all the other Echo Monsters. She knew the role was coming and prepared for it well, insuring that she would never lose herself to the power that would someday be hers. And she's doing a great job so far! She keeps herself busy by collecting departed souls, keeping the ones she finds interesting to help her elsewhere. Because every Echo Monster is at least partially influenced by their Lead at all times, it means Echo Monsters quite often have very little apprehension towards death and pain. They know full well Amaranth is coming for them anyway

(Art+designs by hotchocolategalaxy on toyhouse!)

Celeste (right) pictured with her girlfriend Sable (left)! They are SOOO sweet and so so patient with each other. Sable is nonverbal and Celeste has godawful eyesight so communication between the two is fairly difficult but they just love each other so much. They care about each other more than anything so they've worked hard to find their own method of communication. They share music, they go places that remind them of the other, when Celeste is having a good day with her eyes they like to share art that makes them think of each other or moments they've shared, it's honestly so so sweet. They're both really shy but neither of them are afraid of standing up for each other. Celeste will berate you until you never speak to her again. Sable will just beat you up. And i love them

(Art+design by @arcaneyouth !)

Cynthia! The goddess of dreams, and protector of those who follow them. She dream hops to communicate, and tends to sleepwalk while doing so. Her assigned guardians spend most of their time making sure she doesn't accidentally hurt herself walking places, and she loves them dearly for it. She's only awake once a month or so, and uses her time to check up on those who haven't dreamed in a while and to make sure her domain is safe. Sometimes her friends try to predict when these conscious moments will be and surprise her c: she's very sweet and very quiet. And also incredibly powerful. But no one ever really sees her use that power, she doesn't enjoy it

(Art+design by @arcaneyouth !)

Mirage! The royal advisor to Raven, the queen of spades. Despite her title Raven is like 12 so Mirage has their hands full trying to guide her. She definitely knows what she's doing, she's studied hard and she's dedicated to her position, but Mirage can see slightly into the future and has debilitating anxiety so really there's only so much she can do to put his mind at ease. They try to use their abilities to help her during meetings but really they mostly use it to help her not get caught when she's trying to be a kid for once. He cares about her a lot. He's also going to keel over from stress at any given second

(Design by youronlydrpepper!)

Simon! I talk about him more than anyone else on this list but he gets added because of why he's pink. You see, Ghosts in the Whisper Court universe are color coded by how friendly they are to humans. Simon, according to this code, is naturally blue. It's nice! But it's not his favorite color. Since he's a Guardian Spirit he's given a lot more power than most Ghosts to use in protecting his given domain. Since his domain is a school that still sees daytime use, however, there's never really much to protect the place from. So he consciously and constantly uses some of his power to make himself appear pink all the time. It's fucking amazing and I love him. He comes off as this really professional and mentor-like figure to everyone around him and that he's really serious and then you find out he's constantly using 10% of his brain to make himself pink because he likes it :) I'm obsessed with him

[wheredidhiseyebrowsgo]

any fics that focus on stiles’ adhd? preferably without it being turned into a joke or smth. love u <333

AND

Anonymous asked:

Hi there! I love all that you do on this blog it’s my lifeblood. Could you recommend any fics that are mostly about Stiles’ mental health or adhd? I’m fine with any ship if they have them. Thank! <3

Here you go!

When Claudia Died by VanillaFolder

(1/1 I 909 I Teen I No Pairing)

When Claudia dies, a ten year old Scott watches his best friend crumble from within.

Thanks, Barbie by 138andcounting 

(1/1 I 3,397 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Derek is at the movies and there's this kid that won't. Shut. Up. He babbles, he talks about the movie, he talks about any old shit, and Derek is getting increasingly pissed off. There aren't many other people in the cinema, but the ones that are there keep shushing him so Derek doesn't have to.

Twist is, the movie sucks. So Derek finds himself actually listening to the kid's continuous babble. And it's kind of... intriguing? This 'Stiles', or whatever he calls himself, is clearly ten different kinds of crazy, but Derek can't help but want to find out more about him. Like, when Stiles is talking about something random, Derek is imagining the questions he would ask if he could. And does a mental high five when Stiles answers them anyway. And kind of. Gets annoyed. When the other people in the cinema shush him so he can't finish his sentences. God, what is HAPPENING to him?

4 AM Knows All My Secrets by elysiumwaits

(1/1 I 3,815 I Teen I Sterek)

In which Stiles can't sleep.

No, you don't get it. He really can't sleep.

Don't do research based on fanfics (or do it) by Chuluvya

(1/1 I 5,903 I General I Sterek)

Stiles had a problem: he was smothered and uncomfortable in pack piles, and every time they do it, he couldn't sleep.

So, being who he is, Stiles goes searching for a solution to the problem, because he love puppies piles and want to be into them, and after two days of searching, he ended up on ao3.

And the word 'nesting' sounds like the most effective solution.

Eyebrows Are The Windows To The Soul by UnfortunatelyDisastrous

(6/6 I 12,908 I Teen I Sterek)

Only Stiles can decipher Derek’s eyebrow gymnastics.

Or Five times Stiles deciphers Derek’s nonverbal communication while everyone else watches on in astonished amusement, then one time he’s called out on it.

Three Phone Calls by pandabomb

(3/3 I 15,676 I Mature I Sterek)

“You’re not a hooker, Stiles.” “Okay, yes, true, but—for a thousand dollars…”

An AU in which Scott and Stiles live in a shitty apartment in NYC, Lydia is still queenly, and Derek is a clueless rich guy who mistakes Stiles for a hooker. Light-hearted, thinly-plotted fun.

An Alpha's Mate by EmeraldOcean

(20/? I 90,014 I Explicit I Sterek)

The threat of a rival pack and the discovery of a previously forgotten Hale family legend has Derek playing reluctant partners with his uncle Peter. And that's not the only strange thing that Stiles has noticed about Derek lately. But even the unexpectedly pleasant changes to their relationship can't completely erase the feeling that there's something he's not being told... Something that may change his life irrevocably.

A Crack in the Stained Glass by SpaceAce281990

(24/24 I 94,464 I Not Rated I Sterek)

Stiles has reached a breaking point in his life. He no longer knows how or why he is in his marriage or how it got to the point it has. Still in love with Derek, and tired of the constant pain and chaos, he begins to reminisce on how he got to this point. Speaking to Derek unlocks his emotions in ways he didn't think was possible before this night.

From the Darkness Comes a Spark by ash_mcj

(30/40 I 220,317 I Teen I Sterek)

It’s extraordinary how much can happen in a single year. How relationships can fall apart, along with the people in them. How a friend can become a lifeline, holding you up in the sea of emotions you find yourself drowning in. How you can lose everything you care about.

In one year, the death of Stiles’ mother sent his father into alcoholism, as he tried to battle the inner darkness with a bottle in each hand. Stiles’ godfathers, Peter and Chris, spent most of their time trying to pull the whiskey from his fingers, but it didn’t change the fact that Stiles was essentially losing both of his parents.

In one year, Derek found company in two girls who irrevocably changed his life. One gave him distressing clarity that caused him to pull away from his anchor, and the other lit his world on fire until there was nothing but ash on his hands.

[death-headed]

"I know I have to set boundaries but how do I know where to set them?"

Fear not. I have the answers. I'm so sorry this post is so long, but here goes:

First of all: you can only control yourself. You can't control other people, or infringe on their right to feel the way they feel. You can, however, ask them to treat you a certain way to keep you safe, and remove them from your life if they won't. "You're allowed to feel angry, but I need you to calm down before you talk to me or else I can't have this discussion with you", for example. You control yourself only. Other people can control themselves only.

Also, boundaries are about behaviors, not feelings. If someone is telling you you "can't" be mad, or sad, or hurt, or upset, that is unfair to you, and of course vice versa. "You can't be mad at me" is an inappropriate thing to try to declare. "You can't talk to me cruelly just because you're mad at me." is 100% reasonable and allowed. Does that make sense?

Second of all:

This is key, for my system anyways. Comfort zone is well within your boundaries, everything's happy and cool. Growth zone is where you start asking yourself "this makes me uncomfortable, but am I benefitting from it?" Are you growing and learning and practicing anything? Danger zone is when you need to say no to that thing or situation and if need be, remove the thing causing it from your life. You are not growing, only being harmed.

The way I personally know the difference between the growth zone and danger zone is that if I can't be present then im in danger. If im panicking, having a flashback, dissociating strongly, unable to listen to the people around me, or experiencing the fight or flight response to an uncontrollable degree, I need to stop or escape the situation. If im feeling nervous or anxious, maybe a little dissociated or flighty, but I can still access my coping and grounding techniques, and still converse/text/communicate mostly comprehensibly with the people I'm with (including nonverbal communication), im either in the growth zone or right on the line. This is when I need to ask myself "am I growing right now?" Am I practicing handling conflict or am i suffering needlessly? Am I learning to manage difficult relationships or am I just allowing someone to hurt me again? Ultimately this takes practice but you will get the hang of it!!

You can also sometimes say "hm, this is a growth opportunity and I wouldn't be in danger if I said yes, but I don't have the energy for it, or I need to save that energy for another thing later, so I'm going to give it a hard no". That's super valid! This is more nuanced than a Tumblr post can fit, and you should do what feels healthy to you.

Danger zone boundaries may sound like "don't talk to me like that" "I can't have this conversation" "we can't talk anymore, do not contact me again" "I can't be in this space, I need to leave" "I can't deal with this situation safely and I won't put myself in it. Ask someone else."

You will probably reflexively say sorry at the end of these, and that's fine, but you don't have to. You have a right to them.

Growth zone boundaries might sound like "can you wait a few minutes to have this discussion so I can prepare myself?" "Can we meet up in a public space?" Etc. What can you change about the situation to face it without sliding into your danger zone? Sometimes this type of compromise can't be made and you have to find another way, but if someone refuses to make any leeway for you on this regularly or always, then they are being immature and unfair and demanding too much of you. They are not respecting you the way you deserve.

Growth zone situations are a good time to ask for help. Maybe a danger zone situation can become a growth zone situation with someone you trust by your side! Having help does not negate the growth, in fact it encourages it.

All of this takes practice, and I guarantee you will find ways to define and understand and set your boundaries that are leagues away from how I do it, and how I've outlined here. That's a good thing! This is just a place to start, and I hope it helps.

The last and most important note: this is HARD, and there's nothing wrong with you if you have trouble with it. We all struggle with it, especially with people close to us! It's not a moral failing to struggle setting boundaries, but you deserve the safety that comes when you do, and the joy and happiness and contentment that comes in relationships where this type of communication is standard and respected.

[asmallnerd]

Autistic Ushijima headcanons!!

Ushijima, other than Kageyama, didn't actually get diagnosed until he was out of highschool.

Not because he didn't show symptoms as a child, he absolutely did, but because his mother refused to have him diagnosed.

Until he was 5 years old he didn't speak. At all.

He did learn how to write and read by the time he was 4 but the most his family could get out of him in terms of vocal communication were some grunts and huffs and such.

He started speaking in time to enter elementary school but it was short sentences and very few of those.

He is extremely bad at masking. Try as he might, he has no idea how tge whole thing with facial expressions works. Or how to give his voice the right tone. As a result, his voice is usually flat and he has a pretty deadpan expression.

Ushijima isn't stupid but he does struggle with things that seem illogical to him. For example, he is great at math but English confused the hell out of him because it's a shit show of a language and half the words sound fake.

He has no idea how to hold a proper conversation. Talking to him is more like talking at him. He's listening (most of the time) and it's not like he doesn't care, he just doesn't know how to connect and answer to what you're telling him.

It's extremely rare for him to initiate a conversation, he usually only does this with teammates (mostly Tendou) or occasionally Oikawa. (This does get better during and after highschool but he still dislikes starting the conversation)

I think it's needless to say that volleyball is a special interest, that's pretty much all he cares about.

Now here's the kicker. Ushijima had NO IDEA that he's not neurotypical, his parents never told him anything like that! Pretty much the opposite. Whenever he'd bring up his teacher's concerns with his mother she'd tell him they're just being ridiculous.

The entire team in highschool knows. They just know. It's in the way he doesn't make eye contact, he sways back and forth when he stands, he cringes at certain textures to the point it causes him anxiety or even nausea. The way he drifts off during class, chewing on the back of his pencil, the way he stands with his back slightly hunched and his hands against his chest before he catches himself doing it and straightens up.

He suppresses his ticks because his mother taught him they're inappropriate. Even into adulthood whenever he gets the urge to flap his hands he slaps his own wrists instead and moves on.

He doesn't like being touched. It causes an unpleasant tingling on his skin and he'd rather not have people come too close to him.

something about advertisements catch his eye. There's nothing to read into, no emotional expressions he has to try and understand and no complicated storylines. He enjoys adverts.

Tendou I his comfort person. Now that doesn't mean that his boundaries when it comes to physical contact don't apply to him. It DOES mean, that he has an easier time talking with him and understanding him. Because Tendou over exaggerates his emotions and expressions in an almost theatrical way, making it easy for Ushijima to understand his moods.

Ushijima does not know when it is or isn't appropriate to speak. While he generally prefers to stay silent, sometimes he will blurt out with an unintentionally inappropriate statement in an equally inappropriate decision.

For this reason funerals, birthdays, wedding and other social events like that are extremely difficult for him to deal with.

even as an adult he deals with nonverbal episodes. He goes mute for different periods of time for different reasons. Sometimes it creeps up on him slowly and he knows it's coming and sometimes it just happens one second to the next. But it doesn't bother him much. The people he's close to can talk to him and he'll write or sign in reply.

He wears heavy clothes because they calm him. Leather boots with thick soles, heavy jackets and belts. He can't sleep without a weighed blanket.

Ushijima slowly learns to accept his disability after he gets diagnosed. His new teammates don't treat him like any less of a person because of it. Tendou and the rest of his old team are there with support and help wherever they can.

He eventually starts talking about it more openly and with that comes a certain bond to Kageyama.

Kageyama understands. Kageyama knows that the sounds and feelings connected to volleyball are good sensory input. Kageyama knows to stand back when Ushijima starts to get overwhelmed.

Kageyama brings Ushijima a small fidget toy, a Tangle, to practice one day because Ushijima has been struggling to find ways of stimming that make him comfortable.

For Ushijima it's a slow process. He still doesn't understand social cues or small talk or facial expressions. But he's managing.

Here's the Kageyama hc

[disclaimer: I am autistic, I relate to Ushijima in a lot of ways and this headcanon isn't supposed to be romanticising at all, I just want to share my thoughts]