#commercial cleaning eugene

[360infotechreview]

How to Choose the Right Commercial Cleaning Service for Your Eugene Office

Choosing the right commercial cleaning service for your Eugene office is an important decision. A clean and organized workspace is essential for the success of any business, and finding the right cleaning service can make all the difference.

Here are some tips on how to choose the right commercial cleaning service for your Eugene office:

Look for experience and expertise: Choose a company with years of experience in commercial cleaning and a proven track record of success.

Check for certifications and credentials: Look for companies that are certified and insured to provide commercial cleaning services.

Consider their availability and flexibility: Make sure the company can work around your schedule and provide cleaning services when you need them.

Check for eco-friendliness: Choose a company that uses eco-friendly cleaning products and equipment to minimize its environmental impact.

Read reviews and testimonials: Look for reviews and testimonials from other businesses in the Eugene area to get an idea of the quality of service you can expect.

By following these tips, you can choose the right commercial cleaning service for your Eugene office and ensure that your workspace remains clean and organized, promoting the success of your business.

[reviewtv]

USA Cleaning Services offers professional cleaning services in Eugene, Oregon, for residential and commercial properties. Their team of trained professionals ensures that your home or office is cleaned to the highest standard, using eco-friendly products. Whether you need regular house cleaning or a one-time deep clean, USA Cleaning Services has got you covered. Contact them today to experience their exceptional cleaning services.

[funfacts09]

Are Home Carpet Cleaners as Good as Professional?

When it comes to maintaining clean and fresh carpets in your Eugene home, the question of whether home carpet cleaners are as good as professional ones often arises. While both options have their merits, there are key differences to consider.

Home carpet cleaners, such as portable machines or DIY solutions, can be convenient and cost-effective for routine maintenance. They are suitable for handling minor spills and light soiling. However, they may lack the power and advanced technology of professional equipment, limiting their ability to deep clean and remove tough stains effectively.

On the other hand, professional residential carpet cleaning services in Eugene offer a higher level of expertise and specialized equipment. Trained technicians understand various carpet types and know the most suitable cleaning methods. They use powerful steam cleaning or hot water extraction techniques to reach deep into the carpet fibers, removing embedded dirt, allergens, and stains.

In conclusion, while home carpet cleaners can serve a purpose for regular upkeep, they may not match the thoroughness and results achieved by professional residential carpet cleaning services. For a truly revitalized and immaculate carpet, entrusting the task to professionals in Eugene is a wise choice.

[cursedbanalities]

✨Sometimes, I can’t help but remember things.✨

(A Horror Story WiP)

If you knew me, you’d laugh in my face if I told you that. Despite being an extremely forgetful person, I have a knack for remembering the strangest things. Some of it is useful, like actor’s names, song titles, or credit card numbers. Then… not so much. Things that I don’t know need in my life, like old commercials (not jingles, full-on commercials) or the complete ingredient list of Cap’n Crunch cereal.

At first, this helped me out in school. I would read something and regurgitate it onto a page up to a week later. Then, my interest waned. Grades started to slip in everything that I wasn’t completely interested in. It was even worse in college, when I struggled to keep even a 2.0 grade average for my near-meaningless English degree. I couldn’t keep anything useful in my head, at least according to school and most of my significant others. Though, I finally managed to find something that worked well for me:

Pizza making!

At first I thought I was above it. Here I was, a fancy college graduate ready to change the world; I couldn’t stoop to the levels of pizza making! This may have been the only job that I had gotten a response from— most other places I sent my resume to responded almost instantly with a rejection, sure, but I know that my artistic values are wasted on a trivial task like making pizzas!

But then, something miraculous happened. I started to remember everything about my job. Our specialty pizzas, customer’s orders, specific cleaning protocols, everything. At first, I tried to fight my growing fondness of the job, pushing it deep inside me. On a particularly busy day, however, our printer went down. Despite the near constant onslaught of pizzas, I was able to remember the exact order of it all— even when ten families in a row came through our line. There was a certain rush to exceeding expectations that I grew to love, and it helped that my manager is the type of person who recognized that. He quickly promoted me to assistant manager, and we’ve been able to keep an extremely tight ship together. He’s laid back, and I’m there to help remind him and the others on what is expected to help the restaurant run better.

So, here I am. A manager at Eugene’s Pizza, finally accepting the banalities of life and diving headfirst into a pool of mediocrity. I’ve been happy, regardless. I was able to get this decently-paying job at a resort city on the coast of one of the Great Lakes. I'm accompanied by an adorable orange tabby cat, and I have a computer to accommodate my many hobbies. Besides another person to share the space with, what more could a girl want? Even when my car took a shit hard enough to cost six-month’s rent in mechanic bills, I was lucky to live close enough to my workplace to be able to walk. So, I began a daily pilgrimage to my job, walking thirty minutes to and from. With headphones, it made the walk feel like nothing. After months of doing this, I was able to almost run to the store and back without breaking a sweat. Though, months of realizing I still didn’t make enough for a car (despite the saved money on gas) weighed heavily on me. Soon, the snow will begin to fall. Either I’ll have to walk through the snow and ice– through mild snowstorms, as well– or start asking for rides and slowly lose my built ability to walk as quickly as I have.

Like a ball tossed from the top of a mountain, October rolled into November before I had a chance to search for a car; I found myself walking down a street on my way back home from work. I was the last person in the store by a couple of hours, so there was no hope of getting a ride home from any of my co-workers. Besides, I had been putting on a few extra pounds from constantly eating the food I helped make, so I felt like I needed the exercise. My feet throbbed from the day of work. It felt like every single nerve was firing off at once, complaining about the agonizing pain they’re in; or like I was bleeding and my shoes were slowly filling with blood, and every step I took was another agonizing wave of blood ready to explode out of my shoes. My sides and back shared a similar lament, with pain like daggers stabbing into my sides. The cold air didn’t help, feeling like needles puncturing my lungs. I slid a little on a bit of snow— a flurry of snow came the night before and some still clung to the sidewalk. For every moment I spent out in this cold autumn weather, the more I longed to get back home, to snuggle with my cat and drink a frothy glass of beer while watching cartoons.

But then, I rounded a corner and saw a woman standing under a street light. A man stood in front of her with his back to me, caressing her cheek. She wore a black felt pea coat and had blonde hair that shone in the yellowish light; he was in a black trench coat and a brimmed hat. It looked like something out of an old movie, like two lovers sharing a romantic embrace at the end of some cheesy 40’s romance, and I couldn’t help but let curiosity overcome me. I gazed at the scene as I walked closer to them.

As I got closer, though, my mood swiftly changed. The woman was shaking, and had a strange look of panic. I saw the man’s grip tighten around her face, nails digging into her cheeks. She yelped a little bit, and I saw her jump.

I froze in place. This was weird. I felt my stomach beginning to tie itself into knots, and I reached my bag for my pepper spray. My apartments were just another block directly past them, and with the amount of pain in my feet I wanted to get there as soon as I possibly could. Besides, if I saw him pull anything else, I’d at least either protect myself or even save a woman from having a man creep on her. I breathe in, and grip my pepper spray tight before looking back up at the woman and man.

The girl’s face was that of absolute pleasure as tentacles, sprouting from the man’s trench coat, left trails of thick, green slime on her face. Her hair was a mess as the tentacles gripped all parts of her face and neck. I blinked, not believing my eyes. The man had completely changed while I dug in my purse for a weapon. Yet, despite this horrifying change, I walked on. It was involuntary, as I was mostly trying to decipher whether what I was seeing was even real. There was an impossible amount of wriggling limbs coming out of his coat, some began to explore down her body and into any crevices they found. The wind picked up, blowing towards my face. There was a smell of rotting meat coming from them, with smells similar to the sea mixed in. The woman’s pleasure began to produce small shrieks from her, which the tentacle-man quickly resolved by flooding her mouth with his wriggling suction cups. They explored her nose and ears as well, and her face of pleasure quickly turned to that of pain and horror as the man’s tentacles began to push out through her eye sockets, wiping over her stark, blue eyes…

I let out a scream, finally snapping out of my daze. This was real. This woman was in danger. Hell, I was in danger. I started to back away, planning to run down the street and jump over some fences to get away from this nightmare. Once the man turned around and saw me, however, I froze in place. I could see his face— or rather, the thing attracted to it that resembled most like a face. I don’t know if I truly understood what I saw that night. Maybe I was dreaming or just ate some really bad food or something, but I swear to god that the only thing under that man’s coat was a writhing ball of tentacles. A dark green mass— almost black— constantly writhing and making these disgusting slapping and slurping noises. I was so in awe by what I saw, I just stood there as he kept walking towards me, his feet… or, tentacles, I guess? They kept making these horrible wet slaps with every step, like a wet, sticky noodle. He was extremely hot, too. His heat radiated off of him like coals in a fire. It made me sweat, and every step in the snow shot a steamy mist into the air. The man’s stench brought tears to my eyes, my stomach churned with every step closer to me. Under the writhing tentacles, I saw eyes. I didn’t count, but they were all an orangish-yellow and constantly kept moist by the tentacles wiping over them with their viscous, green fluids. Some of them were gray with cataracts, but the ones that weren’t were locked on to me, piercing my soul with something otherworldly. Once it got a couple of yards away from me I looked down and saw what remained of that poor, poor woman. Her eyes were gone, hell, most of her face was gone! There was a bloody red cavity where her nose and eyes should have been, her mouth still hung agape in shock. When I looked at the man-shaped mass, I could’ve sworn I saw her blue eyes somewhere in the mass of tentacles, lost in a sea of filth. I turned and booked it once I locked eyes with them. I flew down the streets in a panic, likely screaming and spouting whatever gibberish managed to work its way up my throat and out my mouth. My sanity was at its breaking point, but I was somehow able to make it back home despite myself. My lungs felt ragged, my clothes stuck to me from the sweat. The memory clung to my mind. Despite my efforts to remove myself from its claws, it kept replaying in my mind. I was finally home, but I felt anything but safe.

***

[[this is a little bit of something I wrote after a little breakdown I had. I started out just writing to get my feelings out, but I ended with this. I pictured this as an intro to the story, with a person telling this story to detectives or something. Unfortunately, I’ve never gotten any inspiration, and any attempts at furthering the plot got me no where. Hopefully this short story is enjoyable :)

[fitzpatrickor]

Fitzpatrick Painting Inc

Address:

37949 Century Dr NE

Albany, OR 97322

Phone: (541) 967-8900

Website: fitzpatrickpainting.com

Fitzpatrick Painting Inc has been the Willamette Valley's trusted painting contractor and construction company since 1994. With a reputation built on honesty, integrity, and superior craftsmanship, we specialize in a wide range of services including interior and exterior painting, commercial and industrial painting, cabinet painting, historical restorations, remodeling, carpentry, concrete coatings, and maintenance services. Our team of full-time professional painters and skilled craftsmen are dedicated to delivering high-quality workmanship and exceptional customer service. We pride ourselves on our attention to detail, clean job sites, and commitment to using top-quality materials and techniques. At Fitzpatrick Painting, we stand behind our work with a written warranty and are fully insured for your peace of mind. Our flexible scheduling, clear communication, and effective project management ensure a smooth, hassle-free experience for every client. Whether you need a simple house repaint or a complex commercial project, choose Fitzpatrick Painting for beautiful, lasting results. Proudly serving Portland, Salem, Keizer, Lebanon, Albany, Corvallis, Eugene, and surrounding Oregon areas since 1994.

Keywords: salem painting company, eugene painting company, lebanon painting company, portland painters, painters in portland, portland painting company

Hour: Monday – Friday, 7:30am - 5:00pm

Year of Est.: 1994

[brotherscleaningservices]

Award-Winning Cleaning Services You Can Trust in Oregon

Brothers Cleaning Services has been named the 2021 "Best Carpet Cleaning" and "Best Cleaning Company" in Eugene, OR, by the Register-Guard's Readers' Choice Awards. This recognition highlights our commitment to top-quality service, customer satisfaction, and industry excellence. Our certified technicians, eco-friendly cleaning methods, and personalized approach set us apart. Discover why we are the trusted choice for residential and commercial cleaning. To check out our blog and learn more about our award-winning services, visit us now.

[cecilburton1]

Tips for Properly Maintaining Your Carpentry Tools by Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois)

Cecil Eugene Burton Jr

Tips for Properly Maintaining Your Carpentry Tools by Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois)

Carpentry tools are essential assets for any woodworker, enabling precision and efficiency in crafting projects. However, like any valuable possessions, these tools require regular maintenance to ensure optimal performance and longevity. Neglecting maintenance not only diminishes their effectiveness but can also pose safety risks. In this blog, we'll delve into crucial tips by skilled craftsman Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois) for properly maintaining your carpentry tools, helping you preserve their functionality and reliability for years to come.

Regular Cleaning and Inspection

The cornerstone of tool maintenance is regular cleaning and inspection. After each use, diligently remove any sawdust, debris, or residue from your tools using a brush or compressed air. Inspect them for signs of damage, such as rust, dull blades, or loose handles. Addressing these issues promptly prevents minor problems from escalating into major repairs. Additionally, apply a light coat of lubricant to metal surfaces to prevent corrosion and ensure smooth operation.

Proper storage is equally important; store your tools in a dry environment away from moisture and extreme temperatures. Consider investing in a dedicated toolbox or wall-mounted organizer to keep them organized and protected from potential damage.

Sharpening Blades and Cutting Edges

Sharp blades and cutting edges are essential for precise cuts and efficient woodworking. Regularly sharpen your saw blades, chisels, and plane irons using appropriate sharpening tools such as sharpening stones or honing guides. Follow the manufacturer's guidelines for the correct sharpening angles and techniques to maintain the tool's integrity.

Avoid using dull or damaged blades, as they not only compromise the quality of your work but also increase the risk of accidents. A sharp tool requires less force to operate, reducing strain on both the tool and the user. Incorporate blade sharpening into your regular maintenance routine under the guidance of skilled craftsman like Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois) to ensure consistent performance and skilled craftsman results.

Rust Prevention and Removal

Rust is the bane of carpentry tools, causing deterioration and hindering functionality. Preventive measures such as storing tools in a dry environment and applying a protective coating can mitigate rust formation. However, if rust does appear, promptly address it to prevent further damage.

To remove rust, use a combination of abrasive tools such as sandpaper or steel wool, along with rust-removing solutions like vinegar or commercial rust removers. After removing the rust, thoroughly clean and dry the affected area before applying a protective coating. Regularly inspect your tools under the guidance of a skilled craftsman like Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois) for any signs of rust, especially after prolonged storage or exposure to moisture.

Handle Care and Maintenance

The handles of carpentry tools are often overlooked, yet they play a crucial role in ensuring comfort, control, and safety during use. Inspect handles regularly for cracks, splinters, or wear and tear, as these can compromise their integrity and pose hazards.

To maintain handles, clean them with a damp cloth and mild detergent to remove dirt and grime. Sand any rough spots or splinters, then apply a protective finish such as linseed oil or varnish to nourish the wood and enhance durability. Avoid exposing wooden handles to excessive moisture or prolonged sunlight, as these can cause warping or cracking. For tools with rubber or plastic handles, clean them with a mild solvent and avoid exposure to harsh chemicals or prolonged UV exposure.

Calibration and Adjustment

Precision is paramount in carpentry, and accurately calibrated tools are essential for achieving accurate measurements and cuts. Periodically calibrate your measuring tools such as squares, levels, and rulers to ensure their accuracy. Verify the alignment of saw blades, jointer knives, and planer blades to maintain precise cutting angles and dimensions.

If you notice any discrepancies or inconsistencies in your tools' performance, such as misaligned cuts or inaccurate measurements, promptly address them through calibration or adjustment. Consult the manufacturer's guidelines or seek assistance from experienced skilled craftsman like Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois) to ensure proper calibration techniques and optimal tool performance.

Proper Storage

Store your carpentry tools in a dry environment to prevent rust and corrosion. Use a toolbox or a designated storage cabinet to keep them organized and protected from moisture and dust. Consider using silica gel packets or a dehumidifier in the storage area to control humidity levels. Avoid storing tools in direct sunlight or near sources of heat, as this can damage their handles and blades. Proper storage not only extends the lifespan of your tools but also makes them readily accessible when needed.

Proper maintenance is the cornerstone of preserving the functionality and longevity of your carpentry tools. By incorporating these tips by skilled craftsman like Cecil Burton (Winnebago County, Illinois) into your maintenance routine, you can ensure optimal performance, safety, and reliability in your woodworking endeavors. Remember to clean and inspect your tools regularly, sharpen blades, prevent rust formation, care for handles, and calibrate equipment as needed. With diligent maintenance, your carpentry tools will remain invaluable assets for years to come, enabling you to tackle woodworking projects with precision and confidence.

[bdtreellc]

Website: https://www.bdtreellc.com

Address: Columbia, Tennessee

B&D Tree LLC is a locally owned and operated tree service company with over 25 years of experience. They offer professional tree removal, trimming, stump grinding, and storm damage services. Known for their commitment to satisfaction and safety, they provide free estimates and are fully insured, catering to Columbia, TN, and nearby areas.

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/banddtree/

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[lovingcolorstarlight]

Address: 59 E 11th Ave, Eugene, OR, 97401

Phone: 541-253-4079

Business Hours: M-F 8am-10pm, Sat 8am-6pm

Website

Description: The Best Gutter Cleaning Eugene Oregon Has To Offer! We are one of the top gutters Eugene OR contractors and we can handle both residential and commercial projects. We can tackle anything from installation to cleaning. Not only do we provide gutter installation, but we also provide the high quality gutter cleaning locals have come to rely on for decades. Our company offers you skilled workmanship and the best quality materials for all of our projects. Call the gutter installation Eugene Oregon specialists that locals depend on to get the job done right!

[awesomecarpetcleaningeugene]

If your home needs to be prepped for a big party (or needs to be fixed up after one), you can call on Awesome Cleaning Services. When your guests come, you’ll want them to sparkle. Having the best Carpet Cleaning Eugene Oregon company come to your house will help make the place look spotless. If you are seeking a quick tip for DIY #carpet stain #removers, I can educate and help you out or read homemade solutions that you can do yourself.

Awesome Services Inc

1574 Coburg Rd.Suite 404, Eugene, OR 97401

541-689-5096

My Official Website:- https://www.awesomecarpetcleaningeugene.com/

Google Plus Listing:- https://www.google.com/maps?cid=10502803084510662502

Services We offer

Carpet & Rug Cleaners Floor Waxing Polishing & Cleaning Upholstery Cleaners Pressure Washing Equipment Concrete Sealing & Waterproofing House Cleaning Cleaning Services Commercial/Residential Sanitation Services

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[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

An Officer and a Gentleman

Warnings: non-consent sex and rape; oral, anal, cheating (sort of), name-calling.

This is dark!(silverfox)Lee Bodecker x (married)reader and explicit. 18+ only.  Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Synopsis: Your after hours work gets in the way of your day job.

Note: I had the first half sitting around and finished it so here ya go. It takes place in the 70s so Lee is older and it was inspired by an article I read about the creation phone sex lines by a housewife in the 70s (which now of course I can’t flippin find). But anyway, here you go.

Thanks to everyone for sticking around and putting up with me and thanks in advance for all your feedback. :)

I really hope you enjoy. 💋

<3 Let me know what you think with a like or reblog or reply or an ask! Love ya!

The sheriff sat down in his usual spot as you wiped your hands on the rag tucked into your apron. He set his hat on the table and tidied his greying hair. Even at his age, his locks were thick and looked soft. Strands of brown lined the shining silver and shone under the diner lights.

He came in at the same time every day, only an hour into your shift. You approached and flipped the cup on its saucer before you filled it. He took only sugar, no cream 

or milk. You smiled as you watched him read over the menu, he never ordered anything but the waffles.

“Good morning, sheriff,” you said as you held the carafe aloft. “Lookin’ to try something new?”

“‘Dols Leck’?” Lee Bodecker mispronounced the French words, “What’s that?”

“Dolce Leche,” you corrected, “It’s caramel.”

“Hmm.” He rubbed his ruddy cheek and reached for his mug. He drank and held out the menu. “Waffles with strawberry.”

“Extra cream,” you finished for him. He nodded and had another gulp as you walked away.

You put in his ticket after you replaced the coffee pot on the burner. You checked on the few other customers along the counter and wiped down the empty tables. The bell rang and you went to grab the sheriff’s breakfast from the window. You set the plate down before him as he folded the newspaper and replaced it in the little holder at the end of the table.

“How’s Eugene?” He asked as he unwrapped his cutlery. “And the boy?”

“Gene’s still on nights.” You lamented and subconsciously touched your stomach. “Little Ezra’s almost a year now.”

Your boy was buxom and buoyant. You smiled as you thought of his round cheeks and warm brown eyes. You only wished his father was around more to take him off your hip as you cooked and cleaned in your spare hours after work. Eugene was asleep as much as he was at the factory. You saw each other in passing as you scraped for ends meet.

Ezra was with Eugene’s mother during the day. You’d pick him up and take him home to wait for your husband to wake. If you were lucky, you got a kiss before he grabbed his lunch pail and headed out for his twelve hours. You hadn’t gotten more than that since before Ezra came. Neither of you had the time or energy, though the want was there.

“And you sheriff? How are you doing these days?” You asked before you could get lost in your self-pity.

“Ah, you know. The same old. Patrol’s ain’t too exciting.” He cut into the stack and licked his lips. He was a man with a sweet tooth, a substitute for his former alcoholic habit.

“Well, you enjoy, sheriff, you know how to get my attention.” You left him and did a round of refills for those eating and greeted the new arrivals.

Lee was always alone when he came in. He never brought any of his cadets or officers, he just sat, read the newspaper, and ate his waffles. He wasn’t married and had no children. Nearly fifty years on his back but he seemed content on his own. You almost envied him as you struggled with your small family.

🚔

You laid Ezra down carefully in his crib. He was getting big. You tickled his forehead and watched him for a moment before you left the room. It was late. Eugene was gone and the phone would ring soon. You had to prepare yourself for your night time duties.

It started small. An idea found in the pages of one of those feminist magazines, the very ones your husband called good kindling. A woman lost her job, still hard-fought for the domestic sex, and found herself in a similar way as yourself. Money was always needed and harder to come about. So she started her own service for the lonely men. A phone line with illicit intentions.

You read about it in the late stages of your pregnancy and laughed at the idea. It was so stupid. So scandalous. But once you were back to work and Eugene was on the late shift, you grew lonely and your checkbook was harder to open.

You hand wrote the little cards after a visit to the phone company. Eugene didn’t know about the second line. The number redirected to your main line and was active for only three hours a night, after your husband was gone. It was registered as a commercial line so each incoming call was billed to the dialer and a percentage was refunded on your own invoice.

You left the number around town, certain not to be seen as you dropped the cards in the car shop and the bar. At least, you hoped you hadn’t been seen.

The first night had you addled and sleepless until your shift began at the diner. It was hard to keep up the sultry voice and the lies. Difficult to act like the whole thing didn’t make you cringe. The men called and said their dirty words as you encouraged them with moans and little prods. “Oh yes, baby.” or “Tell me more.” It felt like you were cheating on your husband but it kept his plate full and the house warm.

The phone didn’t ring right away that night. Later in the week, you got more calls but one or two was better than none. The real profit was keeping them on the line as long as you could, but there were times you had to end abruptly to see to your wailing child.

You were half-asleep when the first call came in. You fumbled with the receiver and batted away your fatigue with your lashes. You held in a yawn and your sleepiness added to the allure of your put-on voice.

“Hello, mister, what are you longing for tonight?” You laid back on your pillow and played with the spiral cord.

“Well, I…” You blinked and held the phone against your ear. He sounded familiar, as many of the men did, but his timbre made your ears prick sharply. “I don’t know. I never did nothing like this before.”

You squinted and thought. You knew him but you couldn’t place the twinge in your head.

“I can start for you, darling,” you offered. “Mmm, tell you what I would do to you?”

He cleared his throat and you heard movement. He was nervous. So many of the men sounded the same. Most of them were afraid of being caught by their wives or uncertain about their desires. At first, you had the same fears but had since grown indifferent. It was human nature, as natural as one’s instinct to quench their thirst for water.

“How do you like it, darling? You like it when a lady bends over? I like it like that. Or maybe you want to start with me on my back.”

He groaned and you heard the receiver scratch. He let out a strained breath and moved the phone to his other hand.

“I want to use your mouth.” He said at last. His voice was low and gristly. “I want to push your head down in my lap as I choke you with my cock.”

You stared at the ceiling as you reclined and hummed. “Oh yeah.”

“Shut up.” He snarled. “I don’t want to hear your voice, I just want your mouth on me until you can’t fucking breathe. I want to hear you struggle. I was your tears streaming down your face and salting the taste of me on my tongue. I want to hold you down and cum until it’s deep in your belly.”

You parted your lips and raised your brows. You were still focused on trying to recognize the voice. His tone made you quiver. He was more forceful than most men. A lot of them just talked about sucking on your tits or went straight to fucking.

“I’d love that, darling.” You lied and bent one leg over the other as you swayed your foot.

“I said shut up!” He hissed. “I want to hold you down with my hands around your neck. I want to fuck you until your screaming. I’ll fuck you until you bleed. Until you beg for me to cum again.”

His breath was furious and you heard something else. The phone was moving against his chin as he moaned and you were certain you could hear his hand somewhere else; lower. It set your cheeks on fire and you sat up. His voice, his breath, the sheer anger and lust laced in his rasps. Your throat tightened as if he was truly choking you.

“But I want to cum in your ass. I want to make it hurt. I want you to cry as I tear you apart from the inside.” He growled and coughed as his voice fizzled out. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.” He stroked himself furiously and the receiver dropped with a thump and you flinched. “Fucking bitch, yeah, you want my cock deep in your ass. Fucking whore.”

Your fingers hurt as you gripped the phone tightly and listened. His curses streamed steadily until the line clicked and died suddenly. You lowered the receiver and stairs at the little whole clustered together on the mouthpiece. You set it in the cradle and turned to sit on the edge of the bed.

It was unlike any call you’d had. It was terrifying and made your blood curdle. You felt as if it had actually happened as your chest was heavy and your heart raced. You blew out a shaky breath and reached to silence the ringer. 

That was enough for the night.

🚔

The next day at the diner, you couldn’t stop yawning. You hadn’t slept much as the call replayed in your head over and over. The man’s voice was so clear in your mind and every time you started to drift off, he spoke in your ear. You dragged the rag over the top of the counter as Amelia spoke with the elderly couple in that corner.

The door chimed and you looked up. Sheriff Bodecker took off his hat as he entered and nodded at you. With the coffee pot in hand, you went to his table, already set for his arrival. You wished him a good morning and filled his cup. His voice was thick as he muttered his response and picked up the menu. He looked as tired as you felt.

“Strawberry, sheriff?” You prompted.

“Hmm,” he scratched his chin, stubbly from a missed shave. “This Dolsay Leckay. I’ll try that today.” He held out his menu. “I’m trying new things this week.”

You took the menu stiffly and nodded. “Waffles with dolce leche sauce. Right away, sheriff.” 

You turned and walked off to write out his ticket. You returned the coffee pot to its place and set down the menu as you took out your pad and pen. Your hand shook as you scribbled out the order. You stuck it in the window and leaned on the counter.

It couldn’t be him. You were crazy. You didn’t get enough sleep and you were wanting to hear that voice everywhere. Your reassurances were weak and only made you shiver as you righted yourself and continued wiping down the tables.

You angled yourself to look at the sheriff as he squinted down at the newspaper. He stuck his tongue out as he read to poke his top lip and tilted his head coyly. He cleared his throat and coughed as his order rang in the window. 

You went to grab the plate and struggled not to fumble it. It was him. The way he coughed, the gravelly scratch of his throat, the deep and firm undertone. You couldn’t deny it was him. You were stunned you hadn’t recognized him at once.

“There you are, sheriff,” you said as you set down his plate. “Enjoy.”

“I think I will,” he rubbed his hands together. “I’m starving this morning.”

“If you need anything,” you made your usual offer.

He looked at you and smiled. You noticed how his eyes strayed to your name tag and the buttons of your blue dress. He turned to his waffles and took out the knife and fork.

“Thanks, sweetheart,” he said as he ran the tines of the fork through the dark caramel. “I think I’m just fine.”

You left him to eat and straightened your apron. You were confident you’d changed your voice enough that he didn’t have the same epiphany. Even so, everything about him was different. At least in your head. He was no longer the desolate sheriff, he was desperate and demanding. He wasn’t who you thought he was. He was a man with a lot of power and a hunger to use it.

🚔

It was several days before you dared to leave the ringer on after Eugene’s departure. Your husband was loving but almost entirely absent. Since Ezra was born, he’d only grown more distant and work could not excuse him completely. When you ate dinner late with him, he barely heard you as he kept the radio on and those nights he didn’t work, he didn’t touch you.

You felt worse for your own misdeeds. The phone line made you shy and sullen with him. You should tell him but you didn’t know how and truly, you couldn’t. You knew he wouldn’t take it well and even if he was barely there, you couldn’t lose him. You were already painfully alone.

That night, he volunteered for overtime and so you hardly saw him before he headed out. He said you needed the money but your books were well balanced from your own after hours work. You’d done it to take the burden off of him but he still took the extra time, even as you argued that your bills were in good standing. 

Was it you? When had it all grown so cold?

Ezra ate his mashed peas and you set him down for the night. You heard him cooing still but you kept to your schedule even when he was wide awake. He always tired himself out and never fussed very long.

You sat on your bed and read. You checked the time. The phone would start soon and that night you couldn’t leave it off. You needed the money and you couldn’t be picky about where it came from. The month would be over and there would be a whole new batch of debts to account for.

You jumped as it rang. You kept the volume low so it didn’t carry through the whole house and you answered after several rings. You gave your usual greeting and breathed a sigh of relief when it was one of your regulars. You closed your book and picked your nails as you went along with his routine.

When he finished, you wished him a good night. You were dead tired but one more call wouldn’t hurt. You waited and grabbed the receiver on the first ring.

“Hello, mister, what are you looking for tonight?” You made your voice higher and breathier.

“Shhhh.” The long hush chills your veins. “Don’t talk.”

You quivered. It was him. You looked at the phone cradle.

“Don’t hang up.” He said as if he could read your mind. “You want it, don’t you? You want to feel me inside you. Down your throat, fucking the whore out of you.”

“I…” you uttered.

“I said be quiet.” He barked. “I want my cock so far down your throat I can feel it as I choke you. I want your spit all over me, I want you gasping and gulping until you pass out and I’m fucking your mouth lifeless.”

Your eyes widened and you listened in disgust. He growled and his hand slapped off his thigh as he pleasured himself. You sit paralysed as fear bubbled in your chest and you felt as if he could see you. You crossed your legs and huddled down over the receiver.

“I want to fuck your cunt until it hurts to sit down. I want to hear my body slam into yours, I want you to beg me to stop and keep going at the same time. I’m going to fuck you until you can’t make a noise, until all you can hear is my cock pounding inside of you.”

“Please…” You wanted him to stop. You wanted to hang up and yet you were terrified to move.

“And I know you want it too, whore. I know you need it. Not these words, not these calls, but you need me,” he shuddered “and I need it just as bad.”

He grunted and the line grew still. He hissed and cursed. 

“I’m a fucking mess,” he sneered. Another silence and you think he hung up. His voice startled you when he spoke again. “Who’re ya?”

“Wh-what?”

“I ain’t stupid. You’re some lady in the county. Maybe some lonely housewife. Ain’t sound like no prostitute I ever knew.” He sniffed and let out a groan. “Maybe you some dumb teenager playin’ games on the telephone, huh?”

“I don’t-- No. I--” You hung up. 

You stood and pulled the line out of the phone and dropped down heavily. You put your head in your hands and shook it. Fuck!

🚔

The next morning at the diner, you served the sheriff with a false smile. Every time he spoke, you heard the words he said to you on the phone. Although his tone was placid, his fervour played over and over in your ears. And when you overpoured his coffee, you apologized only to have him assure you it was alright and let you mop up the mess with your rag.

He left you his usual tip and you cleared his table. The newspaper was tinged from your spill and you dumped it on his plate. As you did, a card slipped out onto the table and your handwriting stared back at you from the carefully cut rectangle. You hid it quickly in the newspaper and rushed to toss it all in the trash and drop the plate in the bin.

It must have been a mistake, you assured yourself and excused yourself for a breath of air. The chef, Carson, was already by the kitchen doors and you said yes to a smoke from his pack. You lit it after the third try and inhaled the tobacco deep into your chest. You would go to the phone company tomorrow on your day off and shut down the second line. Your lesson was learned. It wasn’t worth the spare pennies.

Your day dragged by as all you could think of was the line. When you got to the phone company, you were jittery with worry. It was easy enough to shut it down but the fee cost you your tips for the day. You checked the clock before you left, bound to be a few minutes late picking up Ezra.

As you came out onto the street, your open jacket flapped in the wind over your uniform and your mary janes clacked on the pavement as you rushed to get to Enid’s and pick up your son. When you stopped at the corner to wait for traffic to pass, a flash and a honk made you jump.

Sheriff Bodecker pulled up to the curb and rolled down his window. He waved and leaned his arm on the door as he peered out at you.

“You needa ride?” He asked.

You smiled awkwardly and clutched the handles of your weathered purse.

“Sheriff, no thank you, I’m not goin’ too far,” you waved him off.

“Nonsense, you on your feet all day. It’s the least I can do.”

“You must be busy.”

“Radio ain’t goin’ off,” he slapped the door, “now come on.” He reached down and opened the door, stepping out with a groan, “Get in. You always are so nice down at the diner.”

You swallowed and your lips quivered as you tried to hold your smile. You followed him around the other side of the car as he opened the door for you. You got into the vintage cruiser and crossed your legs as you cradled your purse on your lap. He closed the door and dropped in on the other side.

He shifted into gear and pulled off. You thanked him and fiddled with clasp of your purse.

“No problem, but uh, I just needa know where you’re goin’,” he chuckled as he slowed at the next four way.

“Oh, I gotta get Ezra from his gramma’s,” you explained, “She lives just down Carsbee.”

“Not far at all,” he commented as he turned the wheel, “So, how was the rest of your day then?”

“Not so bad,” you said breathily as he looked at you in his mirror and you focused on the pedestrians on the street, “and yours, sheriff?”

“You can call me Lee if ya like,” he offered, “And wasn’t so bad either. Which number is it, sweetheart?”

You sniffed at the pet name, he was usually so formal at the diner with his ma’ams.

“21B,” you answered as you wiggled your foot nervously, “you can just drop me off. It’s not too far to home.”

“Don’t be silly, I wanna meet your boy,” he intoned, “you talk about him so much.”

“Oh, uh, of course,” you murmured as he pulled up along the front of your mother-in-law’s, “I just gotta go get him then.”

You hooked your purse over your elbow and slid over the seat. The sheriff kept you from opening the door as he bid you stay and got out quickly as he rushed around the front of the car. He opened the door like a gentleman and removed his hat. 

“I’m old but I haven’t forgot my manners,” he nodded and waited for you to step out.

You got to your feet and thanked him again before you strolled up the crooked walk to the front door. You knocked and let yourself in like you always did. You could hear Ezra babbling as he played with wooden toy cars. Enid sat in her usual spot and rocked as she watched him.

“How was he today?” You asked as you grabbed the bag you always left with him and packed up the loose ends beside it.

“Loud,” Enid muttered, “hyper.”

“Well, he’s at that age,” you grasped your purse and Ezra’s bag in one hand and picked him up from the floor as he reached out for you. “Alright, Ez, say buh bye to grammy.”

He waved and cooed as you held him on your hip. Enid said buy in her grumpy way and got up to see you to the door. You came down the single step as Lee waited by his cruiser. Ezra buried his face in your shoulder as he turned away from the sheriff.

“Don’t be shy, Ezra, this is the sheriff, Mr. Bodecker,” you tried to shake him upright but he clung to you and hid.

“Ah, don’t worry, I’m used to that,” Lee laughed and opened the door, “people see the badge and they’re not so friendly.”

“He just goin’ through a phase,” you assured as you sat with Ezra in your lap.

As Lee shut the door, you let the bags lean against it and the car dipped as he got in the other side. He turned the engine and you gave him your own address as your son squirmed in your lap. At the first corner, Ezra found the courage to look at the sheriff and the officer looked back and stuck out his tongue.

“He looks like you,” Lee said as he pushed down on the pedal, “real cute.”

You accepted the compliment and hugged Ezra tighter. You could barely process the sheriff’s words as your mind returned to those he spoke the night before. Every time he spoke, you heard him, hissing and cussing at you.

You were relieved when he came up to your house and you turned to grab your bags. You felt a tug on your elbow as you balanced Ezra and your things. You looked back at Lee as he held your arm.

“I’ll get the door,” he said, “you just stay put.”

You waited as he let you go and once more, opened the door for you. He took the bags as you climbed out and you protested that you were fine. His hand settled on your shoulder as he pulled you to face him.

“Well, sweetheart, you gonna invite me in for some coffee?”

You were shocked by his boldness and couldn’t hide it. You blanched and looked at Ezra as he tugged at your jacket. You laughed awkwardly.

“Eugene’s still sleepin’ for his shift, I don’t--”

“We got some things to discuss and I think the least you can do after I was so kind as to drive you home is a coffee.”

You squinted at him in confusion. “Maybe another time, sheriff, I’d really hate to wake--” you reached for your bags and he stopped you with his grip firm on your wrist.

“Does he know?” Lee asked in a gristly voice.

“Know what?”

“Know you a whore?” Lee sneered.

You reeled and tried to twist from his grasp. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“You can’t say them words on the phone and not mean ‘em,” he leaned in close, “Now I think you know what I want to talk with you about so you invite me in and I’ll be real nice about it but if you keep me out here, I can’t promise your neighbours won’t get a show.”

You pouted and rocked Ezra as he began to fidget, sensing your discomfort. “Please, I got Ezra--”

“You put him in the next room so we can discuss,” Lee insisted.

He let go of you and you nodded dumbly. You watched him wearily as you turned and led him up the walk. You unlocked the front door and he followed you inside. He hung his hat on the rack with his leather jacket and you hurried into the bedroom to set Ezra down in his crib. You distracted him with his stuffed rabbit and left him. He was usually due for a nap around then anyway.

When you got back to the front room, Lee sat on your couch and you went to the kitchen to start the coffee. You waited for the water to boil and filled the percolator as you dreaded what would come next. You poured a mug and set it out on the coffee table with the sugar dish. 

Lee leaned forward and spooned the sweet powder into his mug as you stood and wrung your hands. How had he figured it all out? How long had he known? Was he going to tell Eugene?

“Sit,” he said as he inhaled the savoury scent and took a cautious sip. His mug made a deafening clink as he set it down and you sat. “I s’pose you went by the phone company to end your little game.”

You sucked your lip in nervously and nodded as you looked down guiltily.

“Mhmm,” he hummed, “you know I was down there a few days ago and they just hand the records over if I say I got a warrant. They ain’t look close enough to realise it’s just a receipt.”

You gulped and kept your head down. You ran your tongue against your lip and blinked away the moisture in your eyes.

“How long you been doin’ all that?” he asked.

“Couple months,” you admitted, “I just needed some extra money. Ever since Ezra was born…”

“But you could get another job.”

“I gotta be home for the boy. Eugene never is.”

“Now a woman don’t be talkin’ like that if she happy. If she not alone.”

“Stop, please. It was a mistake. I’m sorry if you feel like I--”

“Sorry?” he interrupted, “you’re sorry? You think Gene would accept that?”

You sat in silence and picked at the button on your jacket. You hadn’t even bothered to take it off. “You gonna tell him?”

He let out a heavy breath and took another drink of coffee. “Now where’s the fun in that?”

You looked at him and furrowed your brow in confusion. You shook your head as he smirked.

“I will if you make me but if you want me to stay quiet--”

“Sheriff--”

“Shhhh,” he raised a finger, “now, you want me keep my mouth shut, you be waitin’ for me tonight after he goes.”

You stared at him in terror as your heart threatened to jump up your throat.

“And then we’re done talkin’. Then you do all those things we spoke about.”

“You can’t-- I got a son.”

“And a husband but you still be talkin’ to strange men about your pretty little pussy, don’t you?”

You blew a shaky breath between your trembling lips and sank down in the chair in shame. “I thought you were a good man, sheriff.”

“I am, don’t mean I’m not lonely.”

He drained the rest of the mug and coughed. He stood and adjusted his belt, his hand lingering on his belt. You watched his finger trace the barrel and your eyes crept up to his face.

“I’d hate to wake your husband, sweetheart, so I’ll be on my way.” he retreated around the couch and paused by the door, “but I’ll be around.”

🚔

The night went by faster than any. You never felt like you got much time with your husband but it was almost as if he was gone as soon as he woke. He left you with a peck on your forehead and dread in your chest. You thought of telling him, you wanted to confess and fix everything that had broken, but you couldn’t. You were too ashamed.

So when he was gone, you put Ezra down for the night and hoped the Sheriff was just trying to scare you. He couldn’t be serious, could he? You’d known him for years and he was only every sweet at the diner. He was a solitary man but was never unkind. That afternoon, he had been an entirely different man.

You sat on the couch, no radio, no nothing, and picked at the lines of your hand. You were certain you would sit up all night and laugh at yourself in the morning. He was just making sure you stopped, that had to be it.

But then the knock came and your whole body went rigid. You waited until it sounded again, harder, louder. You got up and went to the door. You didn’t need to look out to know who it was. You opened up and Lee watched you with his menacing blue eyes. They were no longer the gentle gems you knew from the diner.

“Sweetheart,” he drawled as he stepped inside and you backed away from him.

He closed the door and locked it then he removed his hat and jacket, just as he had earlier. He bent to ease off his boots and stood as he cleared his throat. He peered behind you and looked around your small house.

“I’m just in time, huh?” he mused as he touched your side and let it slip down to your hip. “What you shakin’ for?”

“I thought…” you rasped. “Sheriff, you know me. I’m not a bad woman.”

“You ain’t?” he snickered. “I do know you. I’m the only one in the county who knows the real you.”

“I don’t understand why you’re doin’ this,” you whined.

“I’m old but not decrepit,” he took your hand and raised it, “and you’re a beautiful woman. I daresay,” he kissed the back of your hand, “motherhood did make you even sweeter.”

“Please,” you begged.

“You get in that bedroom before I lose the last of my will,” he bit his lip as he looked you up and down and released your hand.

You shivered and backed away from him. You went blindly to the bedroom and stopped in the doorway. You couldn’t, not in the bed you shared with your husband. Lee came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your middle.  His hot breath tickled your ear as he leaned into you.

“I wanna see what you hide under that dress,” he purred, “now don’t make me ruin it.”

You gasped and drew away from him. You neared the foot of the bed and unbuttoned the top of your dress. Your fingers were ungainly as you struggled and you pushed the sleeves down your arms with a stifled sob. You shoved the fabric past your waist and hips and his growl made you stand upright with a snap.

Your stockings were held up by fraying garters and your old underwear added to your shame. Your brasserie was pointed and too tight. You hung your head and balled your hands into fists.

“Turn around, I wanna see you,” he said.

You reluctantly obeyed and stared at the floor. He hummed and his thumb ran over his belt buckle. A sudden cry made your blood cold and he scowled. Ezra was awake.

You moved to go to him and the sheriff blocked the door.

“I gotta go to him. He must’ve had a bad dream.”

“I’ll take care of the boy. You just be waitin’ when I get back.” he ran his tongue under his teeth, “naked.”

He pointed to the bed and didn’t leave until you took several steps back. You listened as he went to the small room attached to the master. You worried he might hurt the boy but his coaxing voice surprised you. 

“Shhh,” you heard the distant tone, “it’s okay, son, it’s okay.”

You reached to unhook your bra and sat to roll your stockings off. You needed this man gone. If you abided him, he would be away sooner. You dropped the last of your clothing to the floor and sat on the edge of the bed. Your nails dug into the blankets and you closed your eyes.

It was over a year since you’d been touched. That alone made you shy but that man made you terrified. You heard him enter but didn’t look up at him. “You get up on all fours and ready that mouth for me.” he ordered as you heard his buckle tink, “yeah, I wanna start there.”

You swallowed and did as he said. You felt like some lowly animal as you stared at the floor. You heard the flutter of fabric as he stripped and when he came close, you shut your eyes. He grabbed your hand and jerked you to the edge. He tapped the tip of his cock along your lips.

“Now, open up, sweetheart,” he snarled, “I know you remember every word I said.”

You parted your lips and he forced his way into your mouth. He poked at the back of your throat but didn’t relent. You gagged as he sank down your throat and your entire body twitched. His hand went to your neck as he drew back and pushed back in. He felt himself as he invaded your throat over and over.

“Ah, yes, that’s it,” he uttered, “you can’t tell me you’re not a whore. You take me like one.”

You tried to swallow around him and breath and it made him groan. He kept fucking your face as his hand squeezed your throat. Your spit spilled out and smeared across your face and his pelvis. He kept your head bobbing until you were dizzy and dazed.

He stopped, deep down your throat, and grunted. He let out a shuddery breath and pushed you off of him. You slipped down onto your stomach and gasped over the side of the bed.

“Hoo, I almost blew,” he huffed, “oh, you bad, bad girl.” He trailed his hand down your back and slapped your ass, “turn around and get back up.”

You whimpered and lifted yourself back to your knees. You moved stiffly around and wiped your mouth as the taste of him stained your tongue. He grabbed your hips and pulled you back. He kneaded your ass with hungry growls and pinched your thigh. He felt along your cunt and tutted.

“You wet for me,” he taunted, “just from a taste, sweetheart.”

You dropped your head and he moved closer. He pressed the head of his dick against your folds and ran it up and down as you slickened. He lined up with your entrance and his large hand gripped your hip. He slid into you with a sigh and you let out a startled cry. Maybe it was because it was so long but he felt massive. You quivered around him and clenched your teeth.

“Oh, fuck, you want it just as bad as me, don’t ya?” He bucked his hips and you exclaimed, “how am I suppose to hold back with you squeezin’ me like that?”

He didn’t hold back as he caught his stride. He hammered into you as your flesh slapped loudly. You feared the noise would wake your son again, or worse, be heard by the neighbours. He groaned and grunted as he rammed into you and your thighs quaked. Ripples rolled over your spine and multiplied down your legs.

He stretched his hand over your back and slid them up to your shoulders. He bent over you as he forced your arms to fold beneath you and pushed your head into the mattress. He stilled and wiggled his hips until you moaned. He pulled one hand away from your shoulder as the other spread over your neck.

He slid out of your cunt and spread your juices up and down. He guided his dick between your cheeks and leaned into to pant in your ear. “I didn’t forget about your ass.”

He pushed against your hole and you tensed. His hand tightened on your neck and he poked harder. 

“You relax or it’ll hurt more,” he coaxed, “come on, almost…”

He pushed past your ring and you both gasped. Your eyes filled with tears and you sniffed as he urged himself deeper past your resistance. He let out a long breath as he advanced inch by inch. He drew back each time before adding more and when he was at his limit, you sobbed and clawed at the mattress.

“Oh, oh, fuck, oh, shit,” he swore as he rocked his hips, “you know, urgh, I wanted to do this for so long. Even ‘fore I called.”

He growled and built a steady pace as he stretched you. Your tears seeped into the blanket as his grip threatened to break your neck. His belly bounced against the top of your ass as he rutted without restraint.

“I always thought ‘bout you over that table. Always thought-- Always thought you deserved better than that husband,” he rasped out, “but I never thought you’d feel so good.”

He slammed into you harder than before. Your legs fell out from beneath you and he was quick to descend over you, covering you with his body as he bent his arm across the back of your head. He fucked you into the mattress as your head began to spin and your body reacted to his.

You’d never felt anything so intense as the maelstrom of pain and pleasure building inside you. You moaned and muttered until the sudden tide swept you up and had you murmuring like a fool, drooling onto the bed as he kept on.

He planted his hand on either side of you and lifted himself. He dropped his hips down into your ass over and over. The symphony of flesh filled your mind and you succumbed to the afterglow of tortured delight. He sank as far as he could and spasmed.

“Shit, oh, sweetheart, sweetheart,” he slowed and lowered his sweaty body onto you. You suffocated beneath him as his heart beat against your back. “Oh, you made me… made me blow.” He tilted his hips. “You feel how I filled your ass?”

You let out shallow breaths and turned your face into the blanket. He grunted and raised himself off of you, his cock slipping out easily and his cum trickling down after. He fell onto his back beside you and tried to catch his breath. He reached over blindly and let his fingertips dance along your ass.

“Really it ain’t your fault,” he said as his fingers crawled along the top of your thigh, “a man must be crazy to leave you all alone at night.”

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[backslashdelta]

Veggie Tales according to backslashdelta (me!)

It was recently brought to my attention that Veggie Tales, the animated children's show about sentient vegetables, is actually about the Bible.

I didn't know this.

I am a whole ass 27 year old woman, and I am very aware of the existence of Veggie Tales, but I have never watched an episode. Despite knowing about this show's existence for many years, I never knew that it was Christian programming.

Until now.

Thank you @kurthummeldeservesbetter and @finnmcnamhaira for bringing this to my attention.

I will now be giving a summary of what I think Veggie Tales is, given this new information that has come to light. I didn't want to google and spoil anything for myself, so I had these two lovely people send me some photos.

I've been told the image below shows the cast of main + frequently recurring characters. I've taken the time to label it with the characters' names:

Bob the tomato is also known as GodBob. He's like, the "main" main character and the one who is very much "and the moral of the story is..." y'know. Like the proxy for God. Hence his name, GodBob.

Hank the cucumber is Bob's best friend, and the other "main" main character (but a bit less so than GodBob, for obvious reasons). He's a big family guy, and everybody else in that photo that's green is his relative, regardless of what kind of vegetable they actually are.

Debra the cucumber (she looks different due to sexual dimorphism) and Christopher the broccoli are Hank's parents, and Henry the broccoli is his little brother. Harold the cucumber is his grandfather on his mother's side, and Clive the pea is Harold's brother. Greg the pea is Clive's son, and then Michael and Isaac (aka Mike&Ike) the peas are his sons. Reginald the squash is Bob's uncle, and Eugene the squash and Emily the carrot are his children.

Gracie the turnip is the only one who isn't related to anyone else, and that's because she's Bob's love interest.

Now that we have all the characters out of the way, I have a few screenshots of scenes. I'm going to take this time to explain what is happening in each scene.

This is clearly an Easter episode. This is a chocolate Easter bunny production plant, and Hank here is being unsafe by getting in the way of the production line. He's going to get painted with the brush that hand thingy in the background is holding and he's gonna have to go to the veggie rinse station (this is what their production plants have instead of eyewash stations) to get cleaned up. He's going to learn that this is a dangerous place and what that means is that chocolate Easter bunnies/the commercialization of Easter is Bad, and that it's not about chocolate it's about Jesus dying. Or coming back to life. Or whatever he did at Easter idk I think I was supposed to be a Christian once.

Oh there's a new character here! This is... I have literally no idea what kind of vegetable he is. But his name is... Simon. Because that name's the gayest. He's Bob's cousin who is visiting. In this scene they are putting on a skit, since clearly that is not a real door or bathroom. The skit is about not letting other boys be in the bathroom at the same time as you because they might see you naked and that's gay.

New guy?? Or is that Greg but a bit yellower? OR DOES GREG HAVE A TWIN?? Maybe twins run in the family. Anyway. This is clearly Noah's Arc except they made it pirates because they wanted to make it more entertaining for the kidding. I'm docking (get it? because boats? you dock boats? you park boats at a dock?) it points because Noah's Arc had nothing to do with pirates and also I don't think this many people were allowed on it. Could Noah take his whole family? Genuinely do not remember.

This is the time Veggie Tales did an extra-long special where they remade Prince of Egypt but with vegetables. This scene is Moses wandering lost and alone through the dessert in the night or something. That definitely happened. I've seen the movie. The regular one, not the vegetable version.

Harold! And his wife?!?! Debra's mom?!?!?! This is Margaret the cucumber (again, sexual dimorphism). Harold is one of the Three Wise Men and it turns out he has a wife! And that's who they're depicting right now. Very fun.

I hope this has been an entertaining an informative explanation of Veggie Tales. Thank you for your time.

[mirkwoodshewolf]

You gave me the greatest award of all; Rami Malek x reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys well I finally managed to get some writing done. This came from a wattpad request and it was for our beloved Rami. Now I have been in love with this guy since I first saw him in Night at the Museum and I can’t tell how proud I am of him for coming so far since then. I’m looking forward to seeing him as the villain of the next Bond film as well as the final season of his series Mr. Robot.

Now not really any warnings just nothing but PURE, UNADULTERATED FLUFF with our beloved Rami Malek :) hope you all enjoy this :)

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@geek-and-proud

@queendeakyy

@coolcxt

@mexifangorl

_______________________________________________________

Telling Rami:

Two lines. I can’t believe this. Two lines equals pregnant.  And it wasn’t just for one pregnancy test, I went ahead and took three.  Cause I knew sometimes pregnancy tests can sometimes give a false positive so I went ahead and got three and shockingly all three said the same thing in the end.

I was sitting on mine and Rami’s hotel bed trying to calm myself down before I had a panic attack.  That’s when the door opened and I heard my dear friend Joey’s voice say.

“Yo Rami, Ben, Gwil and I are going out for…..(Y/n)?”

“Joey.” I whispered softly.  He ran up to me and knelt down in front of me.

“Hey, what’s going on squirt? Hmm? Why’re you crying?” he said as he stroked the side of my face.  See I had known Joey ever since we were 5 years old.  Our moms were best friends in college and when my mom moved us across to a new house, she finally reunited with her best friend and it was only fitting that I got along with the Mazzello children.

As Joe became a famed child actor, I got interested in some of the behind the scenes stuff like makeup and hair.  So by the time I graduated college, I got involved in some movie roles doing hair and makeup and that’s where I reunited with Joey in set of Wooly boys as an assistant makeup artist at the time.

We rekindled our lost times and he’s been like the ‘twin’ brother I’ve ever had (technically I was born the day after he was but we say screw the facts we’re twins in diapers).

After getting more experience I reunited with Joey being his main makeup artist for his role as Eugene Sledge in “The Pacific” and that’s where I had met the love of my life, Rami Malek.  From day one Joey had shipped us together and played matchmaker for us.  Then finally by the end of filming, Rami and I started going steady until finally we made it official.

So with my two boys at my side I could never go wrong.  At least until today.

“Promise me you won’t get mad.”

“That depends. Did someone say something to you? Cause if they did then I swear to god I’ll……”

“No, no Joey nobody said anything. It’s…..” I trailed off.

“Hey, you know you can tell me anything, right?” I nodded as he wrapped an arm around me. “So c’mon baby twin. Tell me why you’re crying? If you don’t I’m gonna bring out the tickle monster.”

“Okay, okay I’ll talk just please. Don’t bring that out. We’re in our 30’s Joey why must you resort to childish ways when you don’t get your way?”

“Uhh have you not been with me since our diaper years? Did you just meet me? Just because we’re in our 30’s doesn’t mean we have to stop pretending to be an adult. I mean is there an age limit to when I have to behave an adult?”

I rolled my eyes at him and he grinned at me playfully nudging me with his shoulder.

“So c’mon out with it babe.”

“It’s…..better if you just look in the bathroom.”

“Why the bathroom?”

“Please Joey just….look on the counter and you’ll see.” He stood up and went to the bathroom.  It was probably three seconds I heard the thundering of his feet racing back towards me.

His eyes were full blown wide and he was gaped in shock.

“You—you’re…..are you?”

“Yes.”

“Please tell me it’s Rami’s.”

“Of course it is dipshit who else have I been sleeping with for the past 10 years?”

“Okay, okay no need to get your pregnant hormones in a twist miss feisty pants.” He knelt back down in front of me and he continued, “But congrats I’m so happy for you two.” He hugged me and that’s when I said.

“But we can’t have it now.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean—Rami doesn’t deserve to have the stress of dealing with me being pregnant and dealing with the next two of the biggest award shows to come. You guys got the Golden globes in three days and then the Oscars in a few weeks. Rami’s already under a lot of stress as it is. Adding a baby into the mix it—I’m worried he won’t be able to take it. And our relationship will be over.”

“Hey, you listen to me sis alright. Rami loves you to pieces. He’s never wanted anything more than your approval and love. If he were to ever turn you away just because of this—then Gwil, Ben and I will freely beat the fucking shit out of him. And you know they’ll back me up.”

“Yeah cause you guys have got the weird love triangle going on.”

“It’s not my fault they both want me.” He teased.  I scowled at him and he raised his hands up in defeat once more as he said, “Sorry, sorry getting off track. What I’m trying to say is that I believe Rami’s gonna still be right there with you. Hell he’s even talked to us on our guy nights out of how much he’s wanted to be a dad and have kids with you.”

“He’s said that?”

“If I’m lying I’m crying out velociraptor.” He gently wiped a tear away from my cheek and he said. “But you gotta talk to him. If word gets out to the press first and he finds out that way, it’ll completely blow this whole thing out of proportion.”

“Oh god I can’t even imagine what that would be like if someone found out and leaked it out to the media before I had told Rami. He’d think I was selling out our private life just for kicks.”

“So how about this; either before or after the Globes you tell him. And I can be your backup in case things get out of hand, which I know they won’t.”  I hugged Joe and said as I buried my face into his shoulder.

“Thanks Joey, you’re the best non-blood twin a girl could ask for.”

“We may not be related by blood but I’ll always be there for you baby sister.”

“I was born one day after you.”

“Still makes you the baby out of the two of us.”

Soon enough within three days the Globes finally arrived.  I was getting the final preparations of my makeup done when I felt arms wrap around my waist.  I smiled and said.

“Hey you.”

“You look beautiful.” Rami said as he leaned his head against mine, his nose pressed to my temple.

“Well you look quite dapper yourself Mr. Malek.” I said as I straightened his tie. He smiled softly and kissed my temple.

“How did I ever get so lucky to have you?” he whispered.

“Believe me, if anyone’s lucky it’s me. Plus you can thank Joe for that.”

“Yeah but let’s not give him the satisfaction.” He teased.  I playfully shoved him.

“So, you ready to go?”

“Yeah the car’s already downstairs waiting for us.” I grabbed my satchel bag and he held out his arm for me to take.  I wrapped my arm through his and we headed towards the elevator and headed outside to the car.

The driver drove us onward to the Beverly Hilton and the second we arrived, there was already an audience, crowds of press and paparazzi, as well as hundreds of other actors, directors, film makers, etc.

“You ready babe?”

“Ready.” I exhaled.  The second Rami stepped out, I could already hear the crowd cheering out my boyfriend’s name.  He reached inside for my hand and I placed it in his and he helped me out.  It was the usual from then on, pose for pictures, go to interviews and then meet up with Joe, Gwil, Ben, Lucy and Alan.

As the night went on the award show began and after a really bad joke said by one of the host’s about Freddie to which I lowered my head and prayed for forgiveness I began to feel a bit queasy.

So when they just went to commercial, I tried to drink some water but the urge to just vomit was too much.

“(Y/n)? Baby you okay?”

“I’ll be right back Rami.” I then raced as fast as I could towards the nearest restroom, I didn’t even care about shutting the door, I just collapsed to the ground and dove right over the toilet and puked as much as I could. “Oh god!” I groaned.

I spat a couple times before shakily getting back onto my feet.  I flushed all that I had eaten down the drain and headed over to the sink.  I rinsed my mouth out and cleaned my face up a bit.  Taking a couple of deep breaths trying to calm myself down and that’s when I heard a knock and a voice I did not expect to hear.

“(Y/n)? Are you okay love?” oh shit it can’t be him.  I took one final deep breath and peeked outside to see Brian May.

“Brian what are you—what are you doing here?”

“Well you raced out in such a hurry I got concerned.” See ever since filming, I’ve looked up to Brian as a sort of role model/father figure.  See my parents went through a pretty nasty divorce and it really affected me.

Especially when my dad said that he wanted to have his freedom and not have to deal with me anymore.  So when I heard my first Queen song, “Someday, one day” and heard Brian’s voice, it was an instant comfort to me.

And when Rami and Joe got involved with the movie and I actually got the chance to meet Brian and Roger, Brian was such a sweet man to me and we just sorta had that father-daughter connection kinda right away.  Crazy right? But it happened.

“I’m—I’m fine Brian just…..probably had a sudden attack of the stomach flu I guess. Or probably had some bad soup.” He cupped my face and felt my forehead.

“You don’t seem to be running a fever. Are you sure you’re alright?” I strained out a smile and nodded.

“Yeah.” He looked at me skeptically.

“Okay well….if you’re sure. But if you need to go back to the hotel room, I can take you back.”

“Thanks Bri. I promise I’ll just—stay away from the soup. And thanks for coming to check on me Brian.”

“No problem love.” He said as he gingerly stroked my cheek.  I smiled but suddenly felt the urge to puke again.

“Excuse me.” I immediately shut the door and went to the closest toilet and began dry heaving.

“(Y/n)? (Y/n) love are you sure you’re okay?” I spat and felt myself shuddering along the bathroom floor.  I then heard the door open and in came Brian.  I was about to rant at him telling him this was the ladies room but he cupped both sides of my face and just looked at me. “Alright, you can’t stay here. C’mon I’ll take you back to your hotel.”

“No, no, no. Rami’s award is about to come on. I have to be there for him!” I whined drowsily.

“He’ll understand. Your health is more important than some silly award show. Now come on, up we go.” He helped me stand up but thanks to my heels and wobbly legs, I nearly tripped over. “Here let’s get these things off.” He helped me get them off which decreased my size by 4in. and then we headed outside.

He rung up an uber and also texted Roger to tell Rami that I wasn’t feeling so good. When we piled in the uber, I shuddered suddenly feeling clammy and cold.  I felt Brian’s overcoat being placed over me.

“Thank you.” I whispered out in a hoarse voice.  He smiled softly and nodded.

When we got to the hotel, he helped me up to my room and got me situated into bed. He placed down some of Rami’s sweatpants and a t-shirt down beside me and he said.

“You can change into those once I leave.” I nodded as he stroked some hair out of my face.  All was silent for a brief moment till he suddenly spoke, “So when will you tell him?” immediately I looked at him wide-eyed.

“You—you know?”

“I’ve had three kids in the past, and my ex-wife Chrissie had extremely bad morning sickness, especially when my girls were born. Sometimes she was sick all day.” I sighed.  Guess I should’ve known better than to think I could hide this from him.

“I swear if morning sickness is like this I never want to have another kid after this.” He softly chuckled.

“But I’d say congratulations are in order.”

“I wouldn’t say that.” I muttered.

“Joe did mention this to me the other day.”

“He told you!?” I exclaimed.

“I sorta made him tell me. I’ve been noticing something off about you since yesterday. So don’t immediately blame him.” I shook my head as I buried it into my pillow.

“But how am I gonna tell him? Is he ready for such a responsibility? Am I? I don’t think I’m ready to be a mom.”

“Hey, listen to me love. You are ready. You’re smart, caring, beautiful, and have such a kind heart. I mean you’ve already had practice with Joe right?” I snorted out a laugh, remembering all the stories I told of me and Joey growing up together.

“In a way. But I know Joey won’t die if I make a mistake.”

“You’re not going to kill your baby. You already have that maternal instincts about you. I can’t put me finger on it but I just knew from day one that if you and Rami ever made it that far, you’d both make the best parents. Like Deacy and Veronica.”

“You really think so?”

“Absolutely.” He said as he stroked my cheek.

“Why couldn’t you have been my real dad?” he softly laughed and said as he stroked my cheek with his thumb.

“Believe me I wouldn’t mind having another daughter like you. But I’m happy being a surrogate father to you.” He added softly as he kissed my forehead.  His hand migrated from my cheek to my hair and with the gentle pets, it made me feel more relaxed. “Want me to turn on the telly to the awards so that you can still see him win?”

I nodded and he graciously turned on the TV and switched it to the golden globes. It was on a commercial break right now and that’s when Brian went up and walked towards the kitchen and I heard the fridge open then shut.

“Here, drink this.” He came back holding a water bottle in his hands.

“I’d feel more happy with a ginger ale.”

“I know you would, but right now you need to get hydrated. Plus sugar drinks are good during morning sicknesses.”

“What if I end up upchucking the water?”

“Then just take little sips.” He held the water out to me and I took it.  I unscrewed the cap and gently took a small sip just like Brian suggested and he placed a trashcan by my bedside just in case I did puke so that way I wouldn’t risk running to the bathroom and not making it.

The show came back on and they were just about to announce Best leading actor.  I waited with baited-breath as Brian lay beside me as all the actors names were spoken aloud.

“C’mon baby, c’mon.” I muttered.

“And the Golden globe goes to…..” Julianne Moore spoke as she opened up the envelope. “Rami Malek.” At that I was crying tears of joy.  Rami stood up and hugged Graham King the producer then Roger and Anita before going up on stage.

“God I wish I was there with him.”

“He knows you’re giving your love and support right now love.” Brian assured me. As Rami gave his speech, I wiped away the tears pouring down my face and I blew a kiss right at him even though I knew he couldn’t see it.

As the night went on, soon coming into the room was Rami with his Golden globe in hand.

“And there he is, first time Golden globe winner.” Brian praised.

“Thanks Brian.” He said as he set it down and the two men of my life hugged each other. When he finally looked towards me, I smiled up at him and I said.

“Congrats baby. You deserved it.”

“Yeah, how you feeling?” he asked me fully concerned as he came and sat down beside me.

“A bit better. Bri’s been taking care of me.” He thanked the rock legend again who merely waved it off modestly.

“It was no trouble. I’ll leave her to you now. It’s getting pretty late and I better head back home. Sleep well you two, and well done again Rami.”

“Thanks Brian, drive safe.” Brian bid us a final farewell before leaving our hotel room. He turned back towards me and he said, “Ready to get out of that dress?”

“Bout damn time too. This thing is so not comfortable to even lay in.” I sat up and he helped unzipped it and slowly removed the strap, but not before sneaking in a few quick yet seductive kisses along my shoulder.  I moaned.

“Rami.”

“Alright love, dress first. Fool around later.” I playfully rolled my eyes at him and he helped me out of the dress and grabbed the sweatpants and t-shirt Brian had set down for me.  Afterwards he lay down beside me and allowed me to rest my head on his chest.

“All that’s left is the Oscars.”

“You think so?”

“I know so.” I looked up at him and he smiled down at me before capturing my lips with his.

Thank god I had rinsed my mouth out with mouthwash an hour ago, he slowly rolled me onto my back so that he was now hovering over me.  His tongue dancing with mine as I felt him tuck his hand underneath my—well his shirt and touch my stomach.  My eyes opened up suddenly and I separated from the kiss.

“Rami wait. Wait stop.” His eyes that were once filled with lust, now turned concerned as he said.

“What is it? Are you sick again?”

“No, no but—I……” I trailed off and turned away from him.  He lay down in front of me so that I could look at him.

“Hey, whatever it is you can tell me. What’s going on in that big brain of yours?”

“You—you know how I said that I might’ve had food poisoning earlier tonight?” he nodded. “Well I lied…..I’ve….actually known what it was for three days now.”

“What is it? You…..you’re not dying are you?” he choked out the word dying heartbrokenly.

“No, no it’s nothing like that. I…..I’m pregnant.” His face gaped like a fish and his eyes seemed to grow wider.

“Y—you’re…..”

“I understand if you’re not ready. I can just….we can just break it off if you want. I’ll be able to take it.” I began to ramble on until I felt Rami cup my face in his hands and he said.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa baby girl slow down. Who—what made you think I’d ever break up with you because of this?”

“You’re—you’re finally getting the recognition you deserve. All these award shows, the premiere we went to back in London in November. The last season for Mr. Robot and your James Bon role opportunity, I just—feared that with how you’re life is going you—wouldn’t have time for a baby. Or me.”

“(Y/n)…..that is far from the truth. Listen to me; the day I first met you all the way back during The Pacific, I knew from the moment I saw you, you were the one for me. You were the love of my life, and I never wanted to spend it with anyone else. And now you’ve…..” he placed his hand to my stomach and continued, “Now you’ve given me something extra special. A little portion of myself and a big portion from you.”

“I think the baby will look like you more.” I chuckled softly. He softly laughed and said.

“Now, I believe she will be as beautiful as her mother.”

“She?”

“It could happen.” I shook my head at him.

“So you—really want to be a dad?”

“Yeah of course. I love kids. And I want them with you. I know we’re gonna make some mistakes, but I believe we can make it work. We have practiced with Joe before.” I shook my head at him again.

“He’d be so pissed if he finds out we’ve been comparing him to a child.”

“C’mon his literally the definition of man-child.”

“I won’t deny that.” He pulled me close and I felt him kiss my forehead, down my nose giving it a teasing peck before gently kissing me on the lips. “I love you Rami Malek.”

“I love you (y/n) (l/n). Both of you.” He spoke softly as he placed his hand right over my stomach once again.

Baby reveal/proposal:

After all the award shows were over and 4 months had passed, Rami and I were putting the final touches to the baby reveal party that we were hosting at his mom’s place.

We invited the entire cast of BoRhap, and we’d have Brian, Roger and Adam on facetime to be apart of the experience since we wanted to time the reveal for them.

“Everything all set?” I asked.

“Yep, Sami and mom are finishing up the baseball smoke.” Said Rami.

“Great. Joe just texted me he’s on their way from picking up Lucy, Alan, Gwil and Ben at the airport. Should be here in about 40-45min.”

“Good thing I asked Joe to bring in his Yankee jersey.”

“You know if the powder damages his jersey he’ll kill you, right?”

“If he does then I know you’ll give the position of godfather to the other two.” I chuckled and wrapped my arms around him and the two of us kissed.  He then as always, knelt down and kissed my stomach and talked to my stomach. “Hello my beautiful princess.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, it’s gonna be a mini-you. A mini-Egyptian prince.”

“No it’ll be a sweet princess just like her mommy. Isn’t that right Cleo?” I rolled my eyes at him and pulled him back up and we kissed each other once again before he wrapped an arm around my waist and we walked off to finish prepping the backyard.

By the time everyone arrived, the party started to get into full swing.  I was with Rami about the position of godfather when he looked down at his phone to see that it was time.

“Honey, its time.” I then took out the I-Pad and called up Brian on facetime. While he gathered everyone, I waited for him, Rog and Adam to appear on screen.  When it finally answered al three of them appeared on screen.

“Hey there she is!” exclaimed Adam.

“Hey Adam, Rog, Brian. Hope I didn’t catch you three at a bad time.”

“Actually you’re right on time. We just got done with the show in Montreal.” Said Roger.

“Ahh that’s good. Okay so you guys ready?” they nodded. “Okay hey Gwil can you take the I-Pad so that Queen and Adam can see the show?

“Yeah I’ve got you.” He took the I-pad and I stood with Rami at the center of everyone.

“Okay first of all we’d like to say thank you to all who’ve taken the time to come here, and to those who are far away to see this magical moment.” Rami said.

“So the way we’re gonna do this is an alternate way to the football reveal.” I held up the baseball and said, “Joe may you please step forward?”

“You bet I will.” He exclaimed excitedly as Sami handed him a bat.

“Now we’d like for our former athlete Ben to step up.” Said Rami.  Ben set his beer down and I handed him the baseball. “Inside this baseball lies the gender reveal for our baby. Ben pitch the ball to Joe.”

“I think I’d be better if Ben Cardy was here. He can pitch a better ball than this guy.” Joe teased.

“Haha very funny Joe.” Ben sassed.  Rami and I stepped back and Ben and Joe stepped forward.  Joe was already in pitcher position with the bat ready.  If I didn’t know any better I’d say he was channeling his inner Pat Murray.

“Just don’t strike out Joey otherwise this’ll be a waste of time.” I teased him.

“Shut it baby twin!” Joey exclaimed.  Ben tossed the ball up and down a few times before finally making the pitch.  Joey then hit the ball with the bat and soon exploding was blue smoke.

“IT’S A BOY!!!” I exclaimed which made everyone cheer.  Rami hugged his mom and brother while I hugged his mom and sister. Joe who was covered in blue smoke at this point, took off his Yankees hat and tried to pat the powder away.

“Rami owes me a new jersey.”

“I’ll get you one for your birthday. Thanks for helping us out Joey.”

“Anytime sis. And congrats on the little guy in there.” He said placing his hands on my stomach.  “Hope you know this means I’m teaching him everything I know about baseball and taking him to every Yankees game.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less, especially since you’re the official godfather.” He looked at my flabbergasted.

“Are—you serious?”

“Yeah I mean—we’ve known each other since we were in diapers, who better to take care of my son than you. Maybe he can help you grow up too.” He suddenly hugged me tightly and spun me around.

“Hey Joe might wanna set my love down before you put her in a very early premature birth.” We heard Rami say.  He set me down and began apologizing profusely but I waved it off telling him it was alright. “I also have another announcement to make.” Rami proclaimed.

At this rate I was confused.  I turned to Joe who was merely grinning at me and gently pushed me towards Rami.  He came up to me and took my hand and he said.

“(Y/n); it—it feels like an eternity ago when the two of us first met. But I—I knew from the moment I first met you, that I wanted no one else. You’ve stuck by me through thick and thin, and you’re the love of my life.” He then got down on one knee and took out from his pocket a black velvet ring box.  

I covered my mouth as he opened up the box to reveal a beautiful large diamond engagement ring.

“Rami…..” he looked at me expectantly.  I felt tears form in my eyes and I couldn’t help but say Lucy’s quote from the movie from when Freddie had proposed to Mary. “Which finger do I put this on?” he chuckled softly.

“Wedding finger. Will you marry me?” I nodded.  He shuddered but then gestured for me to verbally say it much like he did in the movie.

“Yes!” He smiled and stood up and captured my lips with his as our friends and family cheered.  After we separated, Rami teased.

“Are you going to leave it in the box?” I giggled and took it out and placed it on my left ring finger.

“Oh Rami it’s beautiful. I love it.” He took my hand and cupped his fingers around the ring as he said.

“Promise me you won’t take it off.”

“I promise.”

“No matter what.”

“I love you Rami, you’re going to do such great things.”

“We’re going to do great things. Starting with this little guy in five months.”

“So do I get bragging rights for being right?”

“Yes, I’ll gladly take the heat. Little traitor.” He muttered the last part towards my stomach.  I playfully shoved him and that’s when Gwil came up with the I-pad.

“Alright girl let me get a close up look of that ring!” Adam proclaimed.  I giggled and showed my hand up to the screen. “Ohh yas girl you’ve got a rock! Perfect fitting for a queen such as yourself.”

“Thanks Adam. And thank you guys for be a part of this.” I said.

“You both deserve it. Congrats on the baby and keep us updated.” Brian said to me.

“I will.”

“And Rami, you better look after this girl for me. As her surrogate father I have the right to beat your arse if you fuck this up.”

“Brian!” I yelled at him embarrassedly.  Rami chuckled and said.

“No worries Brian. I’ve taken care of this girl for over 11 years, I wouldn’t dream of letting her go this time around.”

“You better, because Bri won’t be the only one ready to beat someone if things blow up to hell.” Said Roger.

“Make that three.” Stated Adam.

“Oh my god you three are awful!” I exclaimed which caused all of them to laugh softly. “Okay we’ll let you three go. We’ll see you all when you’re come to Madison Square Garden.”

“Sounds good to us love, I’ll make sure to send you some backstage passes.”

“Thanks Bri.” I blew them a kiss. “Bye guys, see you in 2 months.”

“See you then love.” They waved bye to me and I hung up on facetime.  Rami and I smiled lovingly at each other and he leaned his forehead against mine.

“I love you so much. Both of you.”

“I love you too Rami. And our little guy loves you too. I bet he can’t wait to meet you.”

“I can’t wait to meet him either.”

The birth:

I was watching from behind the camera as Rami was reading “The Empty pot” as part of the Storyline online.  Seeing him read this story, that was close to him when he was a child, made me think of all the future stories that he would tell our little boy in just three weeks’ time.

I smiled as I felt a gently kick to my lower abdomen.  As he continued to read on, I got so many visions of seeing Rami read to our son every night before bedtime.  He just had that warm voice that fit the perfect storyteller.

By the end of it all, he came up to me and we gently kissed each other.

“Did our little man enjoy story time?” he asked me as he placed his hands on my stomach. At his statement he felt a kick, we both chuckled and I said.

“He wouldn’t stop kicking throughout the entire time his daddy was reading the story.”

“Well I’ll read a thousand stories if it’ll keep him happy.” I smiled and kissed his cheek and nuzzled against his shoulder.

That night as I was getting ready for bed in the bathroom.  Removing my makeup and brushing my teeth, plus make one final trip to the toilet before finally settling down for the night.  Rami already lying on his side of the bed, just stared at me as I opened the bathroom door.

“What?”

“How beautiful you are.” He praised.  I smiled at him and walked over to the bed and he immediately sat up and gently wrapped his arm protectively around my stomach.  “I love you both so much.”

“We love you too.” I felt him kiss my temple, down to my cheek, quickly pecked my shoulder before finally placing a kiss to my stomach.  He then nuzzled his head at the junction where my neck met my shoulder and soon the two of us fell asleep.

As the night went on, I began feeling this sudden surge of pain plus a wetness between my legs.  At first I thought I might’ve had an accident but when I became ware of the sudden pain that hit me like a hammer to the head, I groaned.

“Rami……Rami wake up!” he groaned but sat up and he said.

“What is it?”

“I—I think my water just broke.” He quickly turned on the lights and he said.

“Are-are-are-are you sure?” I then let out a scream of agony and said.

“Oh yeah definitely contractions! Oh god AHHHHH!!!!”

“Okay, okay relax calm down okay. I’ll go get the bag and I’ll get us to the hospital. Just do your breathing exercises that we learned okay?” He helped me up and I began to breathe while he quickly put on a shirt and some sweats as well as grabbing the bag from the closet. “Aren’t you glad I convinced you to pack a bag early?”

“Not the time Rami!” I snapped.

“Right, right sorry. Come on love it’ll be okay.” We went out to the car and Rami drove us straight to the hospital while he got in touch with his mom as well as Joe.

After what felt like hours of pure torture, we finally arrived at the hospital and thankfully Joe was already there to help out.

“How you doing?” he asked me.  I glared at him and he said. “Right bad question.”

“Mrs. (Y/n) Malek?” a nurse came in.

“We’re here.”

“Okay well you weren’t supposed to be in till another three weeks.”

“Well the baby decided on now. And I’m pretty sure he gets to choose!” I growled out.

“Okay well we have our private delivery room all set up and arranged, we can take you there now.” Another nurse came in with a wheelchair and both Joe and Rami helped me into the chair and I was wheeled out.

God never did I have to go through anything so agonizing.  I don’t know who the fuck to blame for women suffering during labor but whoever it is, damn you bitch to hell and back.  I even demanded that Rami never seduce me into having sex ever again after this.  But in the end it all payed off.

For after 10hrs of labor, in my arms I now held my son. Our son.

Rami and I were in the recovery room just looking down at our precious 7lb. 12 oz. 22in long baby boy.

“I can’t believe he’s finally here.”

“I know. I told you, resembled his father to a T. Our little prince.”

“But we—never got to pick out a name.”

“Actually I did, during the Oscars. There was only one name that I wanted to name our son if we ended up having a boy, to which we did.”

“What is it?” I looked up at him and I said.

“How do you feel about Freddie Mercury Malek?” he was stunned.  He looked down at our boy before looking back up to me.

“That’s perfect. I—I think he would’ve loved that.”

“I believe so too. I wish we could’ve gotten the chance to meet him face to face.”

“You and me both my love.” We then heard a knock at the door and that’s when Joe peeked in.

“Hey hope this isn’t a bad time but, the guys want to facetime us.” Rami gestured for him to come in and that’s when Joe answered his phone and I heard Gwil and Ben’s voice saying hello.

“Joe told us you had gone into labor (n/n), how you doing?” asked Gwil.

“Exhausted but I’ll be better soon. Hope we didn’t interrupt you guys at a bad time.”

“Not at all (y/n), we were just having a little vacation together.” Ben said.

“To which by the way I am not jealous of you two right now.” Joe pointed out.

“Sure.” Dragged out Ben.

“Whatever helps you sleep at night Joe.” Mocked Gwil.  I rolled my eyes playfully at them.  God those three and their bizarre love triangle.

“Alright you three, no arguing in front of the baby.” Rami lectured.

“Yes Joe show us our little nephew.” Gwilym stated.  He then adjusted his phone so that the rest of the “band” could see the newest addition of the family.

“Aww my god!” cooed Ben.

“Ohh he’s so beautiful.” Awed Gwil.

“Have you guys picked a name yet?” asked Joey.

“Well this lovely lady has had a name at the ready since the beginning.” Rami said, “Guys, we’d like you to meet our son. Freddie Mercury Malek.” At hearing our son’s name, the guys went quiet for a moment.

“It suits him.” Ben finally spoke after the long silence.

“I agree, hello little Freddie.” Gwil added.

“The perfect name fitting the perfect newborn.” Said Joe.

“Well we’ll leave you to rest. Congrats mate, you too (y/n). Get some well deserve rest.” Gwil told me.

“Will do, thanks for checking up on me guys.”

“Hey you’re engaged to Rami and you’ve dealt with Joe your whole life. That makes you apart of the band as anyone else.” Said Ben. We waved goodbye and when Joe placed his phone back in his jacket he kissed the top of my head.

“I’ll go see get your mom and sister. Let them know their grandson/nephew has finally entered the world.”

“Hey Joey before you leave, can you grab me my phone it should be in the bag.”

“Sure thing.” He took my phone out of the bag and he handed me my phone.  As I opened my contacts, he and Rami gave each other a brotherly hug and he stroked my son’s head before placing a gentle kiss on top of his godson’s head. “I can’t wait till you’re big enough to catch a baseball champ. You’ll be just like your god papa Joey in no time.”

“So by that you mean totally sucks at pitching and can’t quite throw properly under pressure?” I teased.  He looked up at me with that bitch face of his.

“You are so lucky you just gave birth otherwise you’d be dead right now.” I stuck my tongue at him playfully and he went ahead and walked out.

“So who are you calling?”

“It’s a long shot but I’m gonna see if I can reach him.” I pressed facetime under Brian’s name.  Rami took our son while I held my phone as it showed my picture.  It rang for what felt like forever till finally I got an answer from the man himself.

“Hey love.”

“Hey sorry did I wake you up?”

“Just about to fall asleep after performing in Japan.”

“Oh god I’m sorry Brian I can call back later.”

“No, no it’s fine. Is everything okay?”

“Well I just wanted you to meet someone.” I then pointed my phone at Rami and hit the switch button and as soon as he saw him holding our baby, he gasped.

“Oh my god—you….you had the baby already?”

“Yeah.”

“10 hours in labor later and this gorgeous boy has finally entered the world.” Rami said.

“You’re right he is mighty handsome. But I can see that it looks like he had his mum’s nose.” I chuckled softly and I said.

“His name is Freddie Mercury Malek.” I switched the phone back towards me and after a moment of silence he answered.

“God what Fred would’ve said. He’d be floored about this, but definitely in the positive way.” I smiled at him. “My congratulations to you both, how you feeling love?”

“Tired, a bit achy but I’m just happy to have my son here at last.”

“I tell you there’s nothing greater than getting the chance to hold your baby for the first time. Treasure it while it lasts, both of you. Because before you know it they’ll be grown up and running their own company.”

“We will Brian.” Said Rami.

“I’ll let you get back to sleep, again sorry to wake you up so late.”

“Don’t worry about it. This was a good thing to be woken up too. Take care of yourselves and that boy of yours.” We smiled and bid Brian goodbye and he waved goodbye to us.  I set my phone down and Rami handed me our little Freddie.

“You know, this whole year has been crazy. Since the movie I’ve won practically every award for best actor for Freddie Mercury. But you—you’ve given me the greatest prize of all. Not only your answer of starting the next step in our relationship, but our child as well. Thank you for being and giving me my greatest award ever (y/n).”

“I could say the same to you Rami.” We kissed each other and just admired our child, born out of pure love and named after the most beloved man of all time.