#comments about her being ooc in season 4

[tategaminu]

Rayla is such a sad girl, man. She gets misunderstood by 80% of the characters and by a lot of watchers. Some characters judging her in the show is understandable but the watchers?

The brutal antagonizing for not saying sorry to Callum (even tho they would also antagonize her if she said sorry as "sorry isn't enough" ahem)

Or ike watchers who describe Rayla as OOC in arc 2, which it's such an statement

like I guess getting kicked out of the place you called home without even asking for an explanation leading to a huge emotional scar, losing yourr parents without even knowing their status, getting obsessed with the same guy that took them away killing your partner to the point of abandoning him out of fear of losing the only loved one you have left because said former home made you believe you either complete the mission or you are a failure, spending alone two years hallucinating the guy you abandoned and chasing someone who doesn't even exist eventully leading you to notice leaving was a big mistake and you keep messing things up won't change as a person a sensitive and unstable teenager that was dumped by her parents at age nine and was forced to bury her feelings most of her life

yeah no. I'm sorry but her character core has never been about being an static girl boss, if everything she's been a changing girlfailure since season one.

[lizzyiii]

Can I make a request? Homelander falling for a reader who is completely unaware of it. Not because he's good at hiding it but because, they genuinely can't fathom the thought of someone being that intense with their feelings about THEM of all people👀 but their the only person who's genuinely kind to him.

I'm sooooo sorry this took so long

Love and Devotion

pairing | homelander x supe!reader

word count | 5.8k words

summary | homelander becomes increasingly obsessed with the new kind and unsuspecting supe, and fixates on her as his perfect match, believing she belongs to him. his possessiveness reaches new heights after discovering intimate details about her powers, pushing him to claim her as his own, regardless of her obliviousness to his feelings.

tags | canon homelander??? obsession, possessiveness, season 4 timeline, major fluff, tell me if you think it ooc homelander, lactating kink

a/n | first homelander fic, this was sooooo fun to write and yes I did rewatch season 4 for this

likes, comments, reblogs are always appreciated ✨

𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

You were perfect from the moment he laid eyes on you.

"Her?"

Homelander’s voice dripped with disdain as he watched Firecracker spewing her rant about family values and patriotism, all while waving her hands around. She reminded him of a third-rate talk show host. He grimaced, turning to Sage.

"Yeah," Sage responded, standing at his side.

"Really?" he sneered, barely able to mask his disgust.

"Mhm," Sage hummed in affirmation.

"Seems like she fell off her Jet Ski one too many times," Homelander muttered, his lip curling.

Sage, unbothered by his sarcasm, simply shook her head. "No, now that Starlight’s back leading the Starlighters, we need someone like her."

Homelander raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Mm. And that’s gonna shut them up?" He knew exactly what "them" meant: the endless critics, social media commentators, all the noise that clawed at his mind.

"No," Sage replied, her voice low and cryptic. "She’s going to make them louder."

He shot her a look. "You gonna trust me or not?" she added before he could question it further.

Rolling his eyes, he turned his gaze elsewhere. He was growing tired of these briefings, the endless parade of new supes Vought was parading through. But then, his eyes landed on you.

You were surrounded by a group of eager reporters, microphones pushed into your face. Unlike Firecracker, who couldn't stop her loud, brash performance, you were different. You weren't reciting hollow slogans or pandering to anyone. You stood there with an almost serene composure, answering each question softly, with a gentle smile. There was something…sincere in the way you spoke, like you actually cared about the answers, not just the headlines they’d create.

"And what about her?" Homelander murmured, his gaze locked on you as if he were seeing something unexpected for the first time.

"The Pink Dahlia," Sage said, repeating your supe name as though it was obvious. "She’s going to be the new Starlight."

Homelander frowned, feeling a flicker of confusion. The new Starlight? That seemed impossible. No one could ever replace that bitch's popularity, her…adoring fanbase. But Sage seemed to sense his thoughts, elaborating with an almost bored tone.

"The only reason Starlight is liked is because of her sincerity. Her kindness," Sage explained, nodding towards you. "Pink Dahlia is going to be America’s next sweetheart supe."

Homelander hummed, though his mind was elsewhere, distracted by the sight of you. Sage was talking, but he was no longer listening. Instead, he watched as the cameras captured your every move. For a moment, you glanced in his direction. Not out of fear or awe, but with that same quiet softness you gave to everyone. It unnerved him how unaffected you seemed by his presence, by who he was.

He wanted to look away, but he couldn’t.

Sage dragged him into yet another pointless debate, but his attention was only half there. He knew she’d eventually let it go once she realized his disinterest, and sure enough, she did. He was quick to pass her along to the vultures—photographers desperate to get the next "supe girl" in their lenses.

As Homelander turned, his gaze landed on Ryan, sulking in one of the chairs at the back of the room. Frustration boiled inside him. He couldn’t stand seeing his son like that, so withdrawn, when the whole world was theirs.

But then, his brow furrowed. You had walked over, leaving the cameras behind. Quietly, you sat beside Ryan, the two of you almost invisible in the flurry of the room. He watched as you offered your hand to Ryan, a gentle smile on your face. His son, who had been lost in his own thoughts, blinked in surprise before hesitantly shaking your hand.

For the first time in hours, Homelander saw the tension leave Ryan’s shoulders. His usual sulk was replaced with something lighter. He listened to whatever you were saying, nodding slowly. Homelanders listened carefully to your sweet words, and watched how they were clearly having an effect on Ryan.

Interesting.

Homelander had too many fucking things going on for his mind to keep circling back to you. It irritated him, gnawed at him like an itch he couldn’t scratch.

First, the rage that boiled up every time he saw those goddamn Starlighter protests. He could hardly walk outside without hearing people chant for Starlight’s bullshit message, waving their signs, spewing their anti-Homelander garbage. It infuriated him. Then there was the constant frustration in dealing with Neuman. She was slippery, always too clever, too calm, and it made every negotiation with her feel like wading through quicksand.

But every time his temper cooled, his thoughts went back to you. You. That sweet, unassuming smile that you flashed so casually, like it wasn’t the most perfect thing he’d ever seen. And then there was your body—tight and perfect in that small pink and green suit, looking like you belonged on a magazine cover instead of here, in this hellhole with people like him.

It made him furious.

How could he let himself be distracted by you, when everything else around him was crumbling? He was supposed to be in control, but instead, he was falling apart. First he let that fucking loser Hughie get away. Then, Ryan—his own son—had the nerve to run off to see Butcher after everything Homelander had given him. After all the time and care he’d put into Ryan, after showing him the world, how was he still not good enough?

It made him sick.

And then... and then there was the other thing. His reflection. The part of him that never shut up, that always knew where to strike. His other self had looked at him and sneered. Told him he was weak, that he was a joke. That no matter how much power he had, no matter how feared he was, he was still nothing.

And maybe it was right. Maybe he was losing it.

So he decided to visit home. The lab. Where they had made him. Where he had been molded into the strongest supe to ever walk the earth. He’d slaughtered every single one of the scientists who had "raised" him. He stood in the sterile halls, the faint hum of the machines still active around him. The silence made him feel grounded, like this was the only place in the world where he could truly be himself.

But it wasn’t enough. Not anymore.

Not when the image of you—your smile, your soft gaze, your kindness—kept seeping into his mind. You were a weakness he couldn’t afford. And that filled him with even more rage.

And yet the moment he saw your face, all that rage he had been holding onto evaporated like steam. The blood, the anger, the frustration—it all seemed distant as he took in the worried expression on your face.

He had strolled back into Vought Tower like nothing was wrong, though his suit was still soaked in the blood and viscera of the scientists he’d butchered in the lab. It didn’t matter—he was Homelander, after all. No one would dare question him. But fate must have been laughing at him because, of all people, he ran straight into you.

You froze when you saw him, your eyes widening in pure shock at the sight of him covered in carnage. Anyone else would have been horrified, would have run or screamed, but not you. Instead, your lips parted and, with that same quiet softness he had come to expect, you said, “Would you like some help?”

Homelander just stared, his mind slowing to a crawl as the words sank in. He was a god, covered in the blood of men, and here you were, offering help. Something inside him shifted in that moment. He nodded, feeling strangely empty and vulnerable, like a child waiting for instructions. In the back of his mind, he realized this was the first time you had actually spoken to him directly.

His chest tightened as you stepped closer, your eyes flicking up to his with cautious concern. You reached out and gently placed your pink-gloved hand into his red, blood-stained one. Homelander nearly closed his eyes, focusing intently on the warmth of your touch. That warmth—it spread through him, melting away the sharp edges of his anger. No one touched him like that, without fear or calculation.

You led him silently into the elevator, your hand still in his, guiding him like he was something fragile. He couldn't help but glance down at your hand in his, his mind spinning as he tried to commit the sensation to memory. The touch wasn’t just physical—it felt like a lifeline, something pulling him out of the darkness he had been sinking into.

As the elevator doors slid shut, the quiet hum of the building surrounded them, and Homelander found himself focusing solely on you. You didn’t flinch. You didn’t recoil. You just held his hand, gently, as if leading him somewhere safe. He didn’t feel like a monster in that moment, not in your presence.

The elevator dinged softly, and you led him down the hall to your floor. The sight was unlike anything in Vought Tower—lush greenery, vibrant pinks and soft petals blooming everywhere. It felt alive, warm. This was your power after all, to bend nature to your will. And it was a reflection of you, full of life, soft but powerful. He was surprised it was even still Vought Tower.

He hadn’t expected you to bring him here. You could’ve taken him to his own floor, left him in one of the pristine, sterile bathrooms of his suite. But no—you’d brought him to your space, a sanctuary. It was so unlike the cold, artificial world of Vought. And so much like you.

Slowly, you guided him to the bathroom. The plants trailed along the walls, the air fragrant with the scent of blooming flowers. You looked up at him, blinking those wide, soft eyes of yours. A single word entered his mind: Fawn. You looked like a fawn, delicate and innocent, standing before something dangerous without any idea of what it could do to you.

“Do you want me to leave?” you asked softly, your voice barely above a whisper.

He shook his head, unable to find the words to speak. Still entranced by you, he wondered how you could be so kind, so gentle, to someone like him. Anyone else would have left him to clean himself up in cold silence, but you…you stayed.

You nodded quietly, as if you understood, then turned to the bath, filling it with warm water. He watched you bite your lip in thought, and all he could think about was biting your lip himself. His gaze lingered on your mouth, and for a split second, he imagined pulling you close, feeling that softness against his own. But instead, he remained silent, his breath heavy as you carefully and gently began to undress him.

He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had touched him with such care. You didn’t fumble or stare, didn’t sneak a lustful glance as you removed his suit piece by piece. You were entirely respectful, your touch light, focused on the task. And when you led him to sink into the bath, your hands still guiding him, he realized that you weren’t treating him like Homelander. You weren’t treating him like a god. You were treating him like…a person.

The warm water surrounded him, washing away the blood and grime. But what made him feel truly clean was your touch. You knelt by the tub, peeling off your pink gloves, and began washing him with your bare hands. He could feel your skin against his, the warmth of your palms gliding over his body.

He had to fight to keep from shivering. The sensation of your skin on his—bare and vulnerable—sent a wave of euphoria through him. It was unlike anything he’d ever felt. This wasn’t lust. This was something deeper, something far more dangerous. He was intoxicated by you, not because of what you were doing, but because of who you were. The softness, the care, the genuine kindness…it was all so foreign to him.

And as you worked in silence, cleaning away the blood, he realized with a start that he never wanted this feeling to end.

Homelander couldn’t take his eyes off you as you washed him. Every gentle stroke of your hands sent a ripple of pleasure through him, and though his eyes begged to close, he refused. He needed to see you. To watch you, to take in every movement, every touch. Your fingers slid through his hair, and for a moment, he almost gave in—almost let his eyes flutter shut and just melt into the sensation. But his gaze stayed locked on you, intense and unyielding.

You could feel his stare, that much was clear, yet you didn’t say a word. You just kept working, silent and serene. And it started to bother him, gnawing at him. How could you be so quiet, so unaffected by his presence? He needed to hear your voice again. He craved it, like a drug, something to soothe the irritation building inside him.

“Talk to me,” he said, the words slipping out in a petulant tone he hadn’t meant to use. But he didn’t care. He wanted your attention, your words, your everything.

Your eyes met his, wide and curious, like you were studying him, trying to figure him out. You tilted your head, and once again, the thought struck him—fawn. That was what you reminded him of. A fawn, delicate and gentle, standing before a predator without realizing the danger.

You pursed your lips, thinking carefully about what to say, and for just a second, Homelander finally closed his eyes. He wanted to focus solely on your voice. Nothing else mattered. Just you.

“I named myself Pink Dahlia because my favorite color is pink,” you began, your sweet voice filling the room like music, “and dahlias symbolize love and devotion.”

His eyes snapped open.

Love and devotion. The words echoed in his mind like a gunshot, shattering every other thought. You kept talking, explaining something about flower meanings and other potential supe names you’d considered, but Homelander didn’t give a fuck about that. None of that mattered. All he could focus on was love and devotion.

It was a sign. It had to be. You were made for him. There was no other explanation. How could it be a coincidence that the one person who treated him with kindness, who looked at him without fear, had chosen a name that embodied exactly what he wanted from you? Exactly what he needed. Love and devotion.

His chest tightened with the realization, his mind spinning with the possibilities. You would love him. You would be devoted to him completely. It was inevitable. Fate had brought you into his life for a reason.

As you continued to speak, your voice soft and calming, he stared at you, consumed by the thought of it—how perfect it would be. You, by his side, loyal and loving, filling the void that no one else could. The world would bow before him, but you…you would worship him in the way he craved, in a way no one ever had.

You were starting to seriously piss him off. The way you acted, pretending like nothing had happened between you, like the connection between you wasn’t so strong it practically vibrated in the air. You carried on as if the two of you didn’t share something deeper, something unspoken but undeniable. It was infuriating.

Then again, if you had acknowledged it—if you’d brought it up and confronted him about it—he probably would’ve blown a fucking gasket. His control was fragile enough as it was.

But trying to talk to you? That was a whole other level of frustration. Every time you looked up at him with those soft, gentle eyes, and gave him that sweet, unassuming smile, all the words in his head vanished. Just gone. Like you had some kind of power over him that even he didn’t understand.

So, he did the only thing he could think of to get you closer—he forced The Deep to move, ordering him to sit somewhere else, so that you could sit right next to him. He wasn’t subtle about it, either. He didn’t care if anyone noticed. As long as you were close, that was all that mattered.

Then came the Vought V52 Expo, and Homelander could feel the agitation building inside him. He needed to talk to you, to make you see what was right in front of you, but the timing was never right. On the bright side, things were going well with Ryan. He was bonding with his son, teaching him to stand up for himself, to say no when he needed to. It felt…good, like he was finally getting through to him.

But by the time they got to the V52 Expo, the agitation had grown into something much sharper. His eyes tracked you across the stage, watching as you announced your new environmental awareness project—the Dahlia Project. Fans were cheering for you, screaming your name, and you looked so damn perfect up there.

You were smiling, waving to the crowd, talking passionately about your cause, and the noise of the crowd was deafening. But all Homelander could think about was how you hadn’t even looked at him once. Not a glance. Not a dedication. Nothing.

He watched you with cold, calculated eyes, trying to keep the growing frustration in check. You were good at this, at drawing people in, making them adore you. But how could you not see that you already had him? That no one else in the crowd mattered compared to him?

And as the fans continued to cheer, his grip tightened around the milkshake he’d bought for you. He needed to speak to you. To make you understand. And the longer you went on, the more he realized—this wasn’t just about getting closer to you anymore. It was about making sure you knew that you belonged to him.

Homelander was standing with Ryan, guiding him through yet another lesson in asserting control. Ryan had been eager to "help" people, to really understand what that meant. So, when Homelander saw an opportunity, he called over Adam—the Vought employee who had been making his assistant visibly uncomfortable with inappropriate advances.

Ryan’s eyes narrowed skeptically, his young face twisting in uncertainty as he looked at the assistant. “Um… is he making you uncomfortable? You can tell me. You won’t get in trouble.”

The assistant bit her lip nervously before nodding, her voice hesitant but honest. “Kind of… yeah.”

Homelander raised an eyebrow, turning his attention to Ryan. “Ryan, what do you think we should do about that?”

Ryan hesitated, the weight of the situation pressing down on him. He still hadn’t fully grasped the power he held, and Homelander could sense his uncertainty, the hesitation that made his own patience wear thin. With a sigh, he glanced away—only for his eyes to land on you, walking past with that usual air of calm about you.

“Dahlia,” he called, his voice a little sharper than he intended. “Come over here.”

You looked up at him, eyebrows raised in that sweet, expectant way that only made him more agitated, and walked over without hesitation, your eyes scanning the scene as you assessed the situation.

“What’s up?” you asked simply.

Homelander smiled, the kind of smile that didn’t reach his eyes, and gestured to Adam. “Adam here has been making some inappropriate advances toward his assistant. What do you have to say about that?”

Even Ryan turned to you, waiting for your response. Homelander watched you closely, studying the way you furrowed your brows in genuine concern as you looked at Adam.

“I think,” you said carefully, “that there’s no excuse for making someone else uncomfortable. And it’s even worse when you know you’re doing it.”

Homelander’s smile widened at your answer. It was perfect—clear, direct, and moral, just like he expected from you. There was a subtle pride in the way you spoke, and it fed into his own sense of approval. You were playing right into his hands without even realizing it.

Your words seemed to be the push Ryan needed, as he turned to Adam, his voice gaining confidence. “Apologize,” Ryan commanded, the hint of authority in his tone surprising even himself. When Adam hesitated, Ryan’s jaw tightened. “Now.”

Adam stated an obviously insincere apology, and Ryan, growing bolder by the second, looked at the assistant. “I want you to slap him.”

Homelander’s gaze snapped to you, watching intently for your reaction. You didn’t flinch. Instead, you seemed to consider the situation with a quiet thoughtfulness, your expression showing no sign of discomfort. You didn’t object or look shocked—in fact, there was a hint of agreement in the way you nodded lightly. You understood the need to make a point, to assert control.

Homelander couldn’t help but feel a surge of pride. Not just in Ryan, but in you. The way you navigated the situation with clarity, how you stood by his side and reinforced his lessons without even realizing it—it only confirmed what he already knew.

You belonged with him.

The moment his resolve truly snapped was at Tek Knight’s party. Everything had already spiraled out of control. A-Train and Firecracker were nowhere to be found, MIA at a critical time. And when it was time for the big speech to the GOP donors, Sage was acting as if she’d had a fucking lobotomy, leaving Homelander to take over.

The minute he started speaking, they questioned him. Him. They criticized him as if he wasn’t the most powerful man in the room, as if he wasn’t Homelander. His hand twitched, and he was one second away from lasering through every single one of those smug, entitled bastards. But then Neuman stepped in, pulling the conversation back on track and rallying the support he was seconds from obliterating.

He stalked away, seething. And that’s when he saw it—him—one of the donor’s sons talking to you. But it wasn’t just talking. He recognized the look in that guy’s eyes, the casual leaning in, the way his hand brushed against your arm like it was nothing.

Homelander’s chest tightened with a slow, burning jealousy, the kind that clawed at him from the inside. His grip on the glass tightened, but for the moment, he held himself in check. Barely. When that loser touched your arm, though, that’s when it snapped. His entire facade shattered.

In his mind, that small touch was a violation. You belonged to him. Whether you knew it yet or not, it was already decided. And this idiot was crossing a line no one should ever have the nerve to approach.

His reaction started subtly—at first. His smile stiffened, his eyes narrowed with an icy focus. He moved toward you with the kind of charm that made people believe he was still in control, but inside, he was already a storm waiting to break.

Homelander slid smoothly between you and the man, a calculated smile plastered on his friendly. “Everything alright here?” His voice was polite, but there was an edge, a tension simmering just beneath the surface.

You blinked up at him, surprised but unsuspecting, nodding lightly. “Yeah, of course. This is Jason Wilson, the District Attorney’s son. We’re just talking.”

Just talking. Homelander’s smile grew tighter. Logically, he knew that. But logic had no place here. The jealousy gnawed at him, irrational, violent, and all-consuming. Without hesitation, he slipped an arm around your waist, pulling you closer in a way that left no room for doubt. “We wouldn’t want things to get inappropriate, now would we?”

Jason froze, his eyes widening slightly, clearly unnerved by the sudden shift. Homelander’s stare bore into him, a silent warning not to take another step, not to even breathe in your direction. Jason stammered an awkward excuse and quickly retreated, leaving you and Homelander alone.

You frowned up at him, clearly confused by the sudden shift in his mood. “What was that about?”

Homelander didn’t answer right away. Instead, his grip on your waist tightened, enough that you’d feel the strength behind it—enough that you couldn’t pull away easily. He quietly steered you toward a more secluded corner of the room, away from prying eyes. His voice dropped to a low, dangerous tone, his lips close to your ear. “You shouldn’t let people touch you like that,” he said, barely keeping his rage in check. “Not when you’re with me.”

You blinked, utterly confused, your brows knitting together in that way he both adored and despised. “I don’t understand. I’m not… with you.”

His jaw clenched. The words stung, hitting him harder than any physical blow could. You didn’t understand yet. You didn’t see what he saw, didn’t feel what he felt. But you would. You had to.

Homelander let out a hollow chuckle, raising his hands in mock surrender. “You don’t understand. It’s fine, I’ll forgive you for that.” His tone dripped with condescension as if he were talking to a child. He then pointed between the two of you, his expression hardening. “You and me—we belong together. Which makes you mine.”

You stared at him, completely lost, your mouth opening and closing like a fish gasping for air. The confusion in your eyes only seemed to amuse him further. You were so oblivious, so innocent, and it both frustrated and thrilled him. Finally, you managed to speak, your voice soft and uncertain. “I thought you were interested in Firecracker.”

Homelander’s face scrunched up in pure disgust, his lip curling as if you had just said something vile. “What? No. Ew. No.”

“Oh,” you mumbled, looking around as if there were hidden cameras capturing this bizarre moment, half-expecting this to be some kind of elaborate joke. “Oh.”

Then you turned back to him, your wide eyes filled with genuine surprise, lips pouting slightly as you asked, “You… like me?”

The way you said it—so innocent, so utterly unaware—made his chest tighten. Like wasn’t even close to what he felt for you. He needed you. You were everything he’d been waiting for, the one pure thing in a world full of filth and betrayal. But the fact that you couldn’t even comprehend why someone like him would be interested in you… It only made his obsession stronger.

He smiled, soft and almost tender, his previous irritation and jealousy melting away in the face of your cluelessness. “Like doesn’t even begin to cover it,” he murmured, his voice lower now, dripping with an intensity that sent a shiver through the air. He stepped closer, his gaze locking onto yours with an unsettling focus. “You’re perfect. You’re everything.”

He reached out, gently tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear, the gesture intimate but laced with possessiveness. “You just don’t see it yet. But you will.”

You blinked up at him, still dazed, still confused, your mind struggling to process what was happening. But in his mind, it was already decided. You were his—had been from the moment he laid eyes on you. And soon enough, you’d understand that too.

Homelander cupped your face as though you were the most delicate thing in existence, his touch surprisingly gentle for someone capable of such monstrous strength. His heart raced as he leaned in, finally close enough to taste the softness of your lips—something he’d craved for what felt like an eternity. He could already imagine how perfect you’d feel, how right it would be.

But before his lips could meet yours, your hand quickly covered his mouth. "Wait," you said, eyes wide with sudden embarrassment.

His eyes snapped open, irritation flashing in them, his impatience barely concealed. "What?" he grunted, his voice muffled by your hand.

You hesitated, biting your lip nervously, avoiding his intense gaze as you finally explained, “My lips… they’re poisonous.”

His brows furrowed in confusion, and you removed your hand, looking even more embarrassed. “They contain a toxin,” you said softly, as if confessing a dark secret. “It gives anyone who kisses me a high, raises their heart rate until they get a heart attack… and die.”

A heavy silence followed as you waited for his reaction, expecting rejection or disgust. But Homelander’s eyes gleamed with something entirely different. Instead of pulling away, he just shrugged as if the danger you posed was trivial to him. "Fuck it," he muttered with a smirk, his hands tightening around your cheeks.

Before you could protest again, he pulled you into a kiss, his lips crashing against yours with a hunger that bordered on madness.

The moment your lips met, Homelander let out a low, primal groan of pleasure. The sensation of your mouth against his was everything he’d imagined—and more. He could feel the toxin you had warned him about seeping into his bloodstream, but instead of fear, it only fueled the euphoria rushing through him. His tongue forced its way into your mouth, deepening the kiss, his desire consuming every rational thought.

The high from your poison made him feel invincible, like every dark, twisted part of him was being set free. The world outside—its chaos, its disappointments, its endless betrayals—faded into nothing. All that mattered was you. He felt light, weightless, as though he could fly to the edge of the universe with you in his arms.

And as the toxin worked its way through his system, the sensation of bliss became all-consuming. He didn’t just want to kiss you—he wanted to devour you, to possess you completely, body and soul. Every kiss, every taste of you, made the thought of losing you unbearable.

He deepened the kiss, his grip on your face tightening, every muscle in his body screaming with pleasure. He didn’t care about the risk, didn’t care that you could kill him. In that moment, he belonged to you, utterly and completely, and he’d die a thousand deaths for this feeling. The darkness inside him surged, but for once, it didn’t feel like a curse. With you, it felt like freedom.

Homelander had never been high in his entire existence, but if this was what it felt like—well, it was fucking spectacular. Every nerve in his body buzzed with euphoria, his muscles relaxed in a way that felt almost foreign to him, and everything around him suddenly seemed amusing, even absurd. He laughed—really laughed—as he flew the two of you back to Vought Tower, the wind whipping through his hair as if the world itself couldn’t touch him.

When he landed on your balcony, a wide grin stretched across his face, a rare glint of pure joy in his eyes. You looked up at him, bemused, as he stumbled slightly, his usually poised demeanor replaced with a boyish charm. He couldn’t stop smiling. “How long does this last?” he asked, his voice light with the toxin’s effects.

You chuckled softly as you led him inside, your touch warm and steady while his hands wandered over you, unable to keep still. “Max? Maybe two hours before the average human dies,” you murmured with a teasing smile.

He let out a breathless laugh, his hand still brushing against your waist, intoxicated not just by the toxin but by you. “How many people have you done this to?” he asked, voice low as he buried his nose in the curve of your neck, inhaling your scent deeply. It was almost possessive, his need to absorb every part of you.

You leaned back slightly, a soft sigh escaping your lips. “Two… high school boyfriends.”

Homelander’s hands slid over your body, but then something caught his eye—a small jar on the kitchen island. His gaze sharpened instantly, curiosity piqued. “What’s that?” he asked, tone suddenly playful but underlined with a dangerous edge as his fingers drifted toward the jar.

He could feel the tension in your body before he even turned to face you fully, sensing the shift in the air. His smile twisted into something more predatory as he turned to you, eyes glinting with amusement and a hint of menace. “Look here,” he started, his voice low and smooth, “since we’re now officially together—”

“Officially?” you murmured, your eyes slightly hazy from his intoxicating presence, a dreamy smile playing on your lips.

He scrunched his nose in a mock expression of annoyance. “Yeah, officially. And there’s one thing you should know about me—I hate secrets. Can’t fucking stand 'em.”

You flushed, your face heating with embarrassment as you shifted on your feet, clearly reluctant to answer. “It’s… nipple cream,” you mumbled.

Homelander raised an eyebrow, his expression uncharacteristically patient, though the intensity in his eyes never wavered. “I can see that,” he said, his voice slow, almost mocking. He leaned closer, a smirk tugging at his lips. “But why do you need it?”

You hesitated, then looked away shyly before finally answering, “I lactate.”

For the first time in a long time, pure shock crossed Homelander’s face. His smile faded, replaced by an unreadable expression as your words sank in. Lactate? He couldn’t process it at first, the information almost short-circuiting his mind. “What?” he asked, his voice lower now, the question almost a growl.

You swallowed, explaining softly, “Just like how some plants and fruits produce milk… ever since I got my first cycle, I’ve been producing milk too.”

Homelander’s throat went dry, his eyes dropping instinctively to your breasts as his thoughts spun wildly. “Only during your cycle?” he asked, voice barely a whisper.

“No,” you admitted, your voice softer still. “Every single day since I got my cycle.”

A long pause hung in the air between you, the weight of your revelation settling in. Homelander’s heart pounded, and for a moment, the effects of the toxin couldn’t compare to the sheer awe and hunger he felt. His gaze drifted back up to meet yours, and something primal flickered in his eyes.

“Oh,” he murmured, a slow smile creeping back onto his face, but this time, it wasn’t just euphoria driving it. No, this—this was something deeper.

Somehow, impossibly, you had just become even more perfect in his eyes.

Reader's Aesthetic

(only her supe name is Pink Dahlia)

Hope you enjoyed!

[jweekgoji]

Yandere!Five/Reader (platonic/headcanons)

the story contains: spoilers for season 4 (+ some changes in plot), yandere!five(-s), strictly platonic, five here is in his 20s (physically) and in his late 60s (mentally), overprotective old man five, soft yan!Five, OOC cuz it's yanderes 🤷

I really like to imagine Five being overprotective over someone young and still full of joy. You can be either a kid of one of his siblings, or just a random child he found during his time in The Commission. It wouldn't be that far away from reality, The Handler took little Lila and trained her to do the dirty job, no one would be surprised if that creepy woman ends up kidnapping another child born on October 1st for herself.

Either way, Five is a good familial figure. We all saw how he acts towards little Grace, making small cheering comments from time to time to his niece when she is enjoying her birthday party. I expect him to be much softer if it's someone who is always close to him and constantly tags along with Five. Let's say, he knows you enough to let you go with him at the end of Season 3, since all of his siblings left, he basically has no other choice but to be the only one who has to protect you.

At first, he might get a little irritated because of it. It's not because he finds you annoying or hates being around kids. The problem is, he is not a social person himself. He never had a proper childhood because he spent 45 years stuck in the apocalypse. Then his time in The Commission, stuck with people either invading his personal space, or always staring at him due to him being him. The man got no time for a good rest. He also got no experience in how he should take care of a kid.

Despite a good bag of problems on his back, like the fact that he is still considered a child himself because of his appearance, no job, no money, no place to stay, he somehow gets everything you need. It would probably cost him a lot of pride to sacrifice, people constantly saying «Aww, are you looking after your little sibling at such age? Where are your parents?» makes him want to say something snarky, but he would bite his tongue, since he doesn't want people to ask more questions. He is used to doing everything on his own, dealing with every trouble by no one but himself because it's how he got things done for ages. Not so surprising, Five is pretty good at it.

When he gets his job as a CIA agent, he does not get so much time to be with you, he's more busy even though he is «the one of the professional young agents», trying to investigate more and more. But I believe that he would absolutely think about you during his work, he would go nonchalantly in his mind «Should I buy them the cereal with that dumb colourful toy inside? No, that stuff has too much sugar for someone their age—», which is pretty ironic since Five has a little sweet tooth himself, knowing his famous toasts with peanut butter and marshmallows. He doesn't give you a chance to eat that stuff too much anyways, because he believes « You'll get to eat those when you grow older», while you probably pout and tug on his clothes, trying to make him share with you this tasty sweet thing with tons of deadly sugar! He will give up after a good 15 minutes of you jumping around, being noisy and whiney, so he would roll his eyes and give you like less than 1/3 of the toast, saying 'here is your half, happy now?🙄'. At least he managed to keep you quiet for some time, while he can focus on some little time of his rest.

Five wants you to be independent just like him. Mainly because he doesn't want to think about potential scenarios where you are without him, all defenseless and have no idea what to do. He will teach you everything, how to protect yourself, how to use the oven, who you should call immediately if something happens (he will probably write a phone number with a marker on your wrist, since kids tend to be forgetful and easily distracted and he does NOT take such a risk).

But Five would never push or press on you, he doesn't want to make another child assassin with childhood trauma, think of it as a grandfather taking you to the lake to teach you how to fish. He is constantly near your side, guiding gently but firmly, to you it's mostly about having fun but also learning new things. Five will praise you, give you some advice and will pet your head if you do something right. I do believe he is overprotective, that he doesn't want to even let you near anything dangerous, but he's also paranoid that if another apocalypse comes back, you should be able to survive.

When Five gets his powers back and reunites with his siblings, you will always be with him. Of course I can imagine him having a nanny to call so you would be away from all his family stuff and there is someone whom he can trust enough, but...he might trust himself more than anyone else (but also it's more interesting for the story than you being somewhere away from all the fun lol). When weird things start to happen, Five is looking for anyone even slightly suspicious. Why is this Elf Guy looking at him? Is that guy looking at YOU ? Stop looking at his kid!

Thankfully for him, you weren't around when Lila and Five stuck in that subway. But instead of spending years here, giving up on the idea of coming back home, that would never happen. Because come on, it's Five. He would never give up on coming back to his family and you, someone he also considers as a part of his family. Maybe they're not ideal, they might hate each other, sometimes even annoy him, but he would never allow himself at least a single minute of proper rest since he believes that his only priority is to come back to people he cares about.

The moment he finds the notes on how to come back, he will do it in an instant. When he sees his family safe - he is happy, even though he would hide his inner feelings. You're a little confused when he just hugs you tightly to his chest all of the sudden, sighing in relief the moment he realizes you're with him. Still the same little you, not a single change in your appearance. « Something happened?» you ask softly, carefully placing your arms around him. for some reason, it feels weird. he was never a person who could hug you just because he feels like it. the only time he might give you that it's only if you initiate it, needing comfort because you were afraid of storm or just woke up from the nightmare. « No, no, just stay like that for a little bit,» Five whispers, trying to calm his racing heart. he's thankful that this body at least can take all the stress he constantly experiences in his life. you are probably surprised and confused but he doesn't care about it now. he just came back to you after years of being apart. at least for him it was, for you — a few hours. Despite how unusual it makes you feel, you don't question it, you will give him all the comfort he deserves after whatever he went through.

A good happy ending we deserve would probably be Five (accidentally) taking you to this buffet full of his other versions. You're probably so shy and awkward to see all of them, so you stick closer to him, holding his hand. Five is a little more protective too, he doesn't trust his other selves as we know. I can imagine a little you being so scared to even make a single move, because the moment you look away, you might get lost! Is that your Five? Or is it the one who's near the other table? Why is that Five drunk? When did he find the apron?? But all of them are very nice to you. Five who works as a waiter would gladly help you to find your guardian and maybe he'll spoil you with food they serve here— Your Five is definitely not happy with how much attention you gain from.. other versions of him, but he knows that they all care the same of you.

[deluweil]

It's hard to take the Tommy storyline seriously especially knowing that it was supposed to be Eddie and Tommy. People say the chemistry is through the roof with Buck and Tommy, but I barely saw any and most of it was cringe. (They had three scenes together and people are throwing Eddie out. Yeah just prove that it's not buddie they want, but more kissing other guy. They don't accept girlfriend, but the first guy is the perfect one. Be for real.) The way they wrote episode 4 was done for Eddie so all of this comes out of left field with the Tommy and Buck.

I can't take it seriously and honestly I hope he's gone soon. Like usual Buck gets all the storyline and Eddie is left with barely anything. Also I'm sorry, but I find it funny that this was all last minute planning and Buck got Eddie coming out storyline.

Sorry I had to vent. It's feeling like the Buck show again.

My dear Anon,

I have to admit, it is kind of hard to take the pairing seriously when we know Tommy was supposed to be with Eddie originally, another "fine patchwork" from the 911 creative team.

I hate last minute patches, those make for dumb storylines, like a nun Marisol, like wtf? Most men catholic or not usually fantasizing about nuns, religious or not. - I'm guessing gay men, don't lol

I have to say that both Oliver and Lou are giving it the old college try, but to be honest, the "platonic" bromance we saw between Eddie and Tommy had more chemistry than Buck and Tommy.

And even if they decided, last minute, to get Tommy with Buck, they could have written it so much better, than Buck OOC hurting Eddie physically for attention from the virtual stranger Eddie hung out with for two weeks. (Speaking of dumb storyline and patches).

I do agree that the whole TommyBuck became a thing very quickly, like buddie never existed and Tommy and Buck have been together for almost a season, which would have been more time to actually prove this match worthy of the praise it's getting after a couple of episodes.

Also, not to antagonize anyone, we all know if they'd brought back Lucy like it was originally planned (though how it was supposed to lead to a gay storyline is beyond me) Arielle would have gotten so much backlash that it would make ppl wonder about the selective feminism in this fandom. (though I have to say that Lucy being besties with Eddie could have been epic).

I also have to say that dazed and confused Buck is so not how I thought bi!Buck would look and I thought by Maddie's comments over the years that it would be anything but surprise for her. Sometimes the continuity of the show is a bit... wonky.

And indeed episode 4 that was originally written for Eddie does feel a bit left field with Buck, but I think Lou and Oliver handled it well. I love Lou's expressions to be honest, they tell a lot that isn't being said. - So much like Ryan now that I think about it.👀

Making it all about Buck again, is indeed a bone of contention I have with the writers and showrunners. This story was tailored for Eddie and they should have followed through, the catholic guilt, the internalized homophobia, and all the mixed feelings would have been delicious and made more sense than the nun crap we got.

I have a lot to say, some flattering, some less.

On the bright side this season have hope yet, I doubt we get much of Tommy for long, I was already spoilered that he is not here to stay, but he will play a part at Chimney's rescue, I love that idea.

I just hope he doesn't get killed off.

Also I wouldn't mind a threesome before we get buddie, if we get buddie lol

So yeah, the Evan Buckley show indeed, but Buck has always fan favorite so no surprise there.

I love Buck, but 7 seasons later demand that there will be some growth that sticks, what drives me crazy that we're still getting the same childish pouting mannerism from him and that it is all good somehow because that's Buck. 🤷‍♂️

I do love Lou/Tommy, he's perfect for this storyline. As someone who is observing without the "OMG TOMMYBUCK" glasses, 7x05 pretty much seals the fate of TommyBuck, Tommy's "You're adorable" is a death sentence for a relationship in any standards, many things could have been said, "I find you hot/sexy as hell" "I would really like to be with you" anything except you're adorable, adorable is a thing you say about babies and puppies, and though we all consider Buck a golden retriever puppy, he's a "hot hot firefighter man" - not adorable. - adorably confused maybe. An Ally if you will 😂

Also, I have yet to gif it, but in that last scene between them Tommy's smile looks like he's happy, but his eyes tell a different story, one that says "As much as I would like to believe I am the one you want I know better." He knows they won't last long.

And that "Evan" felt to me more like, "We have barely made it past the first date, and we barely know each other, A WEDDING? Are you serious rn?"

Obviously everyone else would disagree with me, but COME ON, who invites a failed first date to a wedding? Like Buck lost all sense of direction in his effort to prove his okay-ness with his new bi-ness.

At least he has a rainbow in his instagram lol

Anyway, all that's left is set the clock and wait for Madney's wedding, a wedding has a way to rectify things or just throw everything into utter chaos, either way we get a married Madney and an adventurous wedding. - That will be an episode I watch, solely for Maddie and Chimney. - Anything else would just be bonus ;)

[forgiveness-in-the-misery]

Okay so my feelings as of right now about the show but mostly the first half of season six…

Nadja and Laszlo I feel is where the ball was dropped pretty badly. Like season one we had the issue of Nadja feeling frustrated in her marriage which is why she always through the years hooked up with Gregor because she wanted something different sometimes. But overall her and Laszlo were a set like they always coordinated clothes and hair colors and got along really well.

Then suddenly that drastically changed. Don’t get me wrong they as individuals should have their own plots but the show has not been able to do that without almost making Nadja seem to just deeply fucking despise her husband. They have changed them so much that I feel like I’m watching a 2000s sitcom where an exhausted woman is married to a shit ass man child who holds her back in life because she has to play mother to him. Thats their relationship all the sudden down to the fact this season we found out Laszlo did not “allow” Nadja to get a job which is gross as fuck and ooc for him especially after that beautiful speech in the finale of season three. Laszlo would fucking never not allow her to be free, he supported her running the Council. So now he’s a slobbish sexist douche who forbid his wife from being happy.

So yeah I hate how Paul Simms has slowly ruined them and their relationship.

I have no thoughts on Guillermo and Nandor because I hate Paul Simms and have mentally locked in every homophobic comment he’s made about that relationship over the past couple years so I refuse to feel hopeful because even if they did become romantic it does not undo Simms making shitty comments.

I also feel the show just peaked in season 4 and season 6 obviously is trying to be something but season 5 was such a fucking waste of teen boy incel bull shit that everything feels a bit too late.

I feel about this show how I feel about Good Omens where I love it and have for years but I hate clumsy writing and ooc behaviors and forced in b plots that just waste time and follow shit i genuinely could give a fuck less about.

[cerezasefimeras]

Pretty (Problematic) Ladies

WC: 1.6k FEM!S62 + KAKUCHO, sfw. ⸺ Headcanons of the s62 as women, mainly general headcanons. CW: fem!izana, kakucho, mochi, muto, ran, rindou & shion. personal opinion, OOC characters (because i see both their canon version and their gb version different, so idc), kinda toxic behaviours in Izana & Ran parts. ALSO, the idols used are just to bring a clear image of how i see them, please don't make weird comments about the idols. Please tell me if I forgot something! English is not my first language pd: this is mainly general and safe headcanons, i obviously have more unhinge and nsfw hcs about them. I may post them on another occasion.

FEM!YASUHIRO MUTO.

— Hi, fem!muto is such an ethereal women. — Her name is Yoshino — She either would have pixie short hair or long straight hair, equally as beautiful with both of them. — Tall woman, like 175-7cm — She is that quiet and mysterious woman that is just so intriguing you need to know more of her. — Im sorry but chubby fem!muto is my whole reason of being, idgaf if he is canonically strong, this woman is chubby and so huggable. — I picture her wearing really yet feminine clothing, summer dresses are her favourite. — I imagine her also doing a lot of pen drawings when she is bored or has nothing else to do. — Makes AMAZING baked goods/bakery foods (idk the actual word) — Her fav season is autumn cause she loves the colours of the season. — Prefers tea over coffee although she knows how to make so many types of coffees. — She's a cutie as a girlfriend, would pamper you with cooking your favourite meals and with a lot of cuddles. — As a friend she that typical mom friend, always has the best advice, her purse is full of anything you may need. — Loves doing crocheting, she has made matching hoddies for the girls. — I fucking love her. — She speaks french. That's it. Its hot. — Her song is: Real Man - Beabadoobee — Similar idols: Miyeon (IDLE) & Jihyo (Twice)

FEM!RAN HAITANI

— Oh my sweet heaves. — THIS WOMAAAAAAAAN. — Listen, she dresses like old elegant woman, like those models that are dressed into elegant femenine styles THERE WAS A POST ABOUT IT, I LOST IT BUT I AGREE. (I may do a second part with pictures cause i want you guys to see my ideas clearly but yeah) — Im sorry but mean lesbian fem!ran is my religion. This woman is mean as fuck, spoiled and bitchy. (My type fr) — 175-7cm, she is hot, she's tall and she is LESBIAAAAAN. — Really sugar mommy vibes, she would spoil you rotten if you're really dear to her. — HER NAME IS RALEIGH, RALEIGH HAITANI. — Honestly, science girly. Really good at biology and physics. — Hyper feminine features and body. — Changes her nails set every 3-4 weeks. — Casually smokes, not an addict or anything but sometimes you can see her with red malboro in between her fingers. — Can be really condescending, not in purpose but she is the oldest sister that was made a mother to her little sister. — In bonten she has a short bob/bixie cut. — Wears a lot of delicate *gold* jewellery. — Her only relationship advice is break up. — In any other area, she is the best to ask for advice. — She loves do to her make-up. — Had a tarantula has a pet when she was younger... her sister fucking hate it when that thing was free to wonder around the mansion. — Really into fashion and modelling, that's her whole life. — Her song is: Carmen - Lana Del Rey. — Similar idols: Jinsoul (ex-LOONA, now ARTMS) & Doyeon (former WEKI MEKI)

FEM!IZANA KUROKAWA

— She is mean as fuck. She simply is just mean but to degrate and to be affectionate. — Dont get me wrong, she does care but she that doesnt take away to the fact she is mean. — Her name is Ivette! — Really basic yet cute style, a part of me thinks she would dress like an old japanese horror game protagonist the other believes she would not care that much about her fashion. — I full believe she is a big advocate for suicide awareness and bpd awareness. — ♡ Curly hair ♡, she loves to take care of her curls although sometimes she just wants to rip her hair off. — I kinda see her as a practice witch, like casually nothing too serious. — If you're dating her, a date to the aquarium would meant the world for her. — Baby face, hates it, but gosh she is adorable. — Cutie, she is between 1.49-151cm... yeah she also hates that. She will fight you if you make fun of her. — Honestly, sound cloud singer... her songs are like beabadoobee, laufey & mon laferte. She wishes to do a concert at least once. (She uses beats created by fem!rindou, yes sir.) — She has been cancelled on twt more time she can think of. — She has thrown a chair a someone before. — That someone may or may not have been mikey. — She WILL do it again. — Loves going to new places such as coffee shops. — Her song is: Hijo de la luna - Mecano. — Similar idols: Winter (aespa) & Eunha (former gfriend, now viviz)

FEM!MOCHIZUKI KANJI

— We love a good sporty masculine woman. — She def did volleyball at school. — Her name is Kaori! — I think she is like Kiyoko of highschool, full focused on sports and has no attention span to anything else. — About 1.72-4cm. — Streetwear !!!!, baggy jeans, jorts, dragon design. Yes. Yes. Yes. All for her. — She looks so intimidating but in reality she is a softie. — She can eat A LOT, is mostly due to the big amount of sports she does. Baby girl needs to be healthy. — Cannot wear jewellery to save her life, it always ends up broken or lost (same girl, same) — She still sleeps cuddling with a big bear plushie she got at the age of 12. — Makes the best barbecues, invite her to the family cockout right now. — Cannot explain this, but she is color blind. — Type of friend she woukd go to WARRR for u. Someone is making fun of you? This girl is about to break their face ♡ — Gives the best hugs. — Really good at swimming, loves summer sports although she is practice more often field sports. — The biggest fan of Megan Thee Stallion, argue with the wall if u disagree. — LOVES romcoms, the more cringy they're the best honestly. — Always has snacks on her bag. — Loves buzzing her hair out, its an actual addiction of her. — Her song is: Dopamine - Giselle. — Similar idols: Cocona (XG) & Giselle (Aespa)

FEM!SHION MADARAME

— Iconic weird girl, we love her. — So death note misa coded. — She is that alt, unique girl that was into evertyhing that was considered nerdy back then. — Her hair has oil spilt, racoon tail and crazy strokes. (Blonde hair, with orange strokes + chocolate brown racoon tail.) — Trashy slutty style & scene style. She knows what's good. — Average height, like 161-3cm. — Shiori!, Shiori Madarame... unless Madarame is her name then Shion Maemi. — Every year her spotify wrapper has bad doy nightcore version as n1 song. — Rave girly, (fem!rin usually goes with her) — She is so awkward and so adorable, guys i love my daughter. — She had a gacha life phase... — Fem!shion gives me bimbo vibes, seriously i fricking love her so much i cannot explain it. — If a creepy guy bothers you she WILL bark, like full on dog barking. Surprisingly good at it aswell. — She has a lot of tattoos, all made in a spontaneous urge. — Full no contact with her whole family. — The girls are her family. — She has either a chicken or a racoon as a pet, i also cannot explain this. — Her song is: boycott ver pleaseee favOriTe - LOONA (and because i cannot put that version here, extra song Yummy - Ayesha Erotica) — Similar idols: Hinata & Jurin (XG)

FEM!RINDOU HAITANI

— Oh my god, my wife guys, buckle up. — Renleigh Haitani, my woman. — Spoiled as fuck, baby of the family she blinks and gets what she wants. — Has a really specific type of man to date, will date any women if the lady breaths and is into her. — 162-165cm, yes, fem!ran loves to call her baby, small or tiny. — Really good dancer!, loves learning new dancing styles and learning the story behind them. (Mostly if they're cultural dances) — Nerd. Plays lots of video games, has lots of figurines of her favourite characters, addicted to gacha games. — Really good fashion style. She goes between mcloving, street wear & and a style similar to what Nana of nana... the black nana would wear, idk the name. — Wavy blonde natural hair. Currently she has it inspired in laguna blue of monster high. — She has a lot of glasses in different shapes & colours to match her outfits. — Yes, her nails set match her sister's nails set. — Also wears a lot of jewellery, does not have colours preference she just likes it chunky. — Has three cats. Rindou would be a dog person tho. — Really sporty, does a lot of sports and has such pretty figure thanks to it. — Has the wildest music taste, the song is good? Is her new addiction for the next month (same) — Her 'hear me out' is 9x9=81... i will not elaborate iykyk. — Crunchy grapes lover. — Her song is: Hot Mess - aespa — Similar Idols: Minnie (IDLE) & NingNing (aespa)

FEM!KAKUCHO

— Hi, her name would be Kiyoko. — This baby. Gosh, she is adorable. — She is around 172-5cm, she wishes she was shorter — She says a stray cat she ignores everything else to pet that adorable animal. — 'Loser trapped in a hot body' definition. — Baby, she is a softie with really chaotic friends. — Also has a baby face, dont let that foul you she WILL beat the shit out of you if you ask for it. — Her style changes often, she actually copies what her big sisters wear!, she is so inspired by them so it changes constantly. (Baby sister attitudes... me tbh) — Continuing with her lil sis behaviours, many of her hobbies also comes from the girls! Crocheting (fem!muto), exploring new places (fem!izana), fashion and modelling (fem!ran), video games (fem!rin), field sports (fem!mochi), going to raves (fem!shion). — She loves making bracelets for the girls!, its her way to show love for them. — Really soft with animals and children. — Loves apples, exactly red apples. My lord she could eat them for days straight. — Really good student, she lives for academic validation. — She was a selective mute for at least a year, she would only communicate with fem!izana. — Its SCARED to dye her hair for some reason, she believes she will end up bald as if she hasn't buzz her hair off for no reason before. — She may be quiet but she is not afraid of setting boundaries ans speaking up for herself and others. — She has a lot of plushies, all gifted by the girls. — Amazing friend, amazing girlfriend, amazing wife. — Loves snoopy! — Her song is: Right Now - NewJeans — Similar idols: Sullyoon (nmixx) & Tzuyu (twice)

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤcreds to: @cerezasefimeras

[sunflowersunite]

Here for the character ask game! This is gonna be LONG, sorry i couldn't help myself 😭

2. Favourite canon thing about them?

Eren, Mikasa

3. Least favourite canon thing?

Eren, Mikasa, Levi

5. The first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

Hange

6. Something you have in common with them?

Eren, Hange

8. Something the fandom does to them but you despise

Eren, Hange, Levi

9. Could you be roommates with them?

Levi

10. Could you be best friends with them?

Mikasa, Hange, Levi, Eren

17. A ship about them that you're fine with and you don't hate?

Mikasa, Hange

20. The ideal best friend for them?

Hange, Levi

thank you for the looong ask @quillsandblades, it was so great thinking about these!! (plus you asked me all about my four faves!)

For the character ask game!

2. Favourite canon thing about them:

Eren: his damned determination. Eren fights for his dreams, he fights and he just doesn't know when to give up. This just doesn't exist in his vocabulary.

Mikasa: her strength, especially emotionally. That girl will live, she will keep moving forward even if she's lost it all. How she longs for peace and fights for it. How she loves, deeply and certainly.

3. Least favourite canon thing

(This question is the reason why it took me so long to answer this, especially for the Ackermans. I just couldn't find anything negative.)

Eren: he never?? addressed his feelings for Mikasa?? I'm not saying this as in "Eremika was badly written", no, it was beautifully written, but Eren just ran from his feelings because he's a damn idiot. He planned a free future but forgot to live in the present. Also how he straight up left in Season 4, it ruined me.

Mikasa: She and Eren didn't have a proper conversation in the Paths like he and Armin did (although there's a canonical and logical reason about that one). Also she killed Eren. That was Not Cool, Isayama.

Levi: His Ackerman ancestry wasn't acknowledged properly. No bonding moments with Mikasa. Not wondering what the Ackermans even are, what their purpose is. It was brushed off entirely. "Guess I'm an Ackerman now. Oh, shit, I'll have to do tons of paperwork to legally change my name."

5. First song that comes to mind when I think about Hange?

Bauklötze, forever and ever. It's her song now.

But besides that, Curses by the Crane Wives

There's a fire in my brain, and I'm burning up Oh my, oh my Keep running for the sink, but the well is dry Oh my, oh my Every word I say is kindling But the smoke clears when you're around Won't you stay with me, my darling When my walls start burning down, down, down?

before you kill me, no, it's not because of the fire rather than how overwhelming everything is.

("won't you stay with me, my darling/When this house don't feel like home")

How out of place she feels. But the melody is still cheerful because despite everything, she's still Hange Zoë.

6. Something I have in common with Eren and Hange

I dream big

I get excited and passionate

but my soul can feel heavy at times

8. Something the fandom does that I don't like

Mischaracterization throws me off big time in fanfiction. I don't finish if a central character is ooc. Examples I can think of right now are: Eren being depicted as a "bad boy". I don't mean "rough and a little rude", that's just Eren. I mean substances and lack of respect (towards women, especially Mikasa) etc.

For Hange, it throws me off if the ooc version of her is a damsel in distress and/or passive.

Now, specifically for Levi, I don't know if the fandom is still obsessed with him or if they've moved on. He is a great character, but the obsession was a little too much. I bet that Levi would consider himself overrated if he knew what was happening in the real world.

9. Could I be roommates with Levi?

Sure! I'm not that organised or tidy if I get used to living in a space, but I'm quiet and I respect boundaries. He'd tolerate me, I'd make him cards for his birthday, we'd watch movies together and comment on how much the script sucked. I'd help when he'd be too constipated to communicate things like feelings with Hange. She'd be my friend, I'd invite her over and Levi would be jealous of how well she and I are getting along.

10. Could I be best friends with them?

Mikasa: not best friends, but if we clicked, we'd make a great duo. We'd hang out in silence. Whenever we talked, it would be about something deep and we'd be satisfied until our next discussion.

Hange: yes! I'd tag along in her experiments, she'd read my stories. She'd inspire me to study and learn more, and have fun with it. Who wouldn't want a friend like Hange?

Levi: I don't think so. But his heart is in the right place, so we'd hang out and drink tea together and communicate in a civilized environment (?) about recent findings. Plus in the aot extended universe we've established that we're roommates, so we get along just fine.

Eren: possibly! I'd have to run behind him and therefore we might argue a lot, but I care about that idiot so I don't mind. We'd be thick as thieves. And unlike his current best friends, I'd make sure he addressed his feelings properly.

17. A ship I'm fine with and I don't hate-- Mikasa and Hange

I did not expect that question, but let me tell you, I had so much fun. Because I get to share a dumb crack headcanon of mine.

Of course my favourites are Eremika and Levihan and I wouldn't care about the ships at all if Mikasa and Hange were with other people. But hear me out:

Mikasa x Reiner. That would be hilarious if it was confirmed post canon, so much that I wouldn't even be mad. I even headcanon it jokingly. In all seriousness, Mikasa died single. But in none at all seriousness, imagine her with Reiner, who is canonically terrified of her. Imagine if they got married post canon for the tax benefits or whatever and they're basically only roommates. Reiner gets scared out of his mind every morning when he sees Mikasa because she's the focal point of his PTSD.

For Hange, Zekehan, since we're talking hilarious ships. As I've mentioned in my study on Zeke's role in Levihan, it intrigues me how a character who's not remotely interested in romance is portrayed in some fanfiction to be interested in Hange (and how under different circumstances he totally would have a crush on her, hands down). I don't like it but I don't hate it either.

20. The ideal best friend for Hange and Levi?

Each other, all the way. They're meant to be together in every way possible, significant other, best friend, co-captain. They're so different yet they manage to fit together so well and they communicate wordlessly because they know the other one's soul. It could never have been someone else. In every universe they find each other, and in every universe, they're best friends.

(you should know about that 😄)

Thank you again swordslinger! 😉

[yourlocalegotisticalqueerishere]

Character ask thingie, a Legend of your choosing but you must answer ALL the questions

This is DERANGED. But I respect it, and I will do it (the questions for this ask game are here, feel free to send an ask in)

I am of course going to pick Zari Tarazi, because why the hell not

1. My first impression of them

I was deeply confused because I first watched Legends out of order and out of context, but I did love her pretty much immediately

2. When I think I truly started to like them (or dislike them)

Immediately

3. A song that reminds me of them

IT GIRL by Aliyah's Interlude

4. How many people I ship them with

Let me count real quick... 3 or 4 (don't ask questions)

5. My favourite ship of them

I really like her and Charlie

6. My least favourite ship of them

Her and John. It's fine I guess, but I'm not that bothered

7. A quote of them that you remember

"I was just doing a runway turn ☺️"

8. Your favourite outfit of them

Yeah I'm not picking, when she looks good, she looks good

9. Your least favourite outfit of them

When she got high in season 7 (real rock bottom for her)

10. Describe the character in one sentence

Icon of all time, but severely down to earth beneath it all

11. What's the first thing you think about when thinking about the character?

How vibrant she is

12. Sexuality hc

I don't think she uses labels, but I don't think she's straight

13. Your favourite friendship they have

Her and Ava will always be so brilliant

14. Best storyline they had

Her moving away from her very vapid persona and becoming more grounded. That or the Speakeasy episode

15. Worst storyline they had

Why did she give up the totem like who asked for that

16. A childhood headcanon

She was really into Scooby Doo before she was famous

17. What do you think their first word was?

Probably Mama

18. How do you think they were as a kid?

Deeply kind

19. The most random ship you've seen people have them with

... No comment ( @sideguitars you will pay for your crimes) (just kidding)

20. A weird headcanon

She reads classic novels in her downtime

21. When do you think they were at their happiest?

When her Z1 and Behrad were all in the timeline at the end of S5 after he came back to life and the world was saved, but before B started like dying and stuff

22. When do you think they were at their lowest?

Right after she found out Behrad died

23. Future headcanon

She does a deep dive into the totems history in her family

24. What do you think is a secret that they have never told anyone?

Probably that she has major stage fright

25. When do you think they acted the most ooc

Giving up the totem at the end of S7 (seriously who asked for this)

26. When do you think they were being "themselves" the most

After Behrad died and her determination to bring him back cancelled out her persona for a while. She was still on her girlboss shit, but she had focus and drive, and no time for bullshit

27. If they could meet a character from another show/movie/etc, who would be the most fun for them to meet?

Daphne Blake. They'd break the slay-ometer

28. The most unnecessary thing they ever did?

Give up the totem (I'm so upset about this, can you tell?)

29. How do you think they would be as a parent?

I don't think that's for her, but if she was one she'd be the parent who says "you can be anything you want to be" and makes it happen

30. The funniest scene they had?

In S5 when z1 is trying to hack the loom and z2 just. Unplugs it. The popping into frame, the pause before she does it, her little fucking smile, the contrast with Z1. Perfection.

[rainbow18]

All the reasons why Zoe is a Mary Sue.

1. Characters are made ooc when Zoe’s around.

Marinette met Zoe and She quickly began spilling her heart out by talking about she kept falling and discussed how she had a crush. Then she gave Zoe her phone number. Marinette talked about how she fell all the time and discussed how she fell in love. Then soon after, In Queen Banana, She gave Zoe the Bee Miraculous even though She only knew her for a short amount of time.

Does this sound like something Marinette would do if it was someone else?

Not really. Marinette doesn’t like talking about herself and her feelings in front of strangers. She usually only opens up if She’s with people who have been her friends for a while. (Although she will occasionally make exceptions if Adrien is involved) Marinette also doesn’t hand out Miraculouses so fast after meeting someone. Every other character has to know Marinette for at least 1 season.

Marinette isn’t the only one that’s ooc when it comes to Zoe.

How did Zoe get a name that’s so close to Chloe’s if Audrey can’t remember Chloe’s name? Plus why would she give Zoe a similar name when she doesn’t even like Chloe? The only other times that siblings names are that close to each other is if they’re twins. (I know Juleka and Luka weren’t always Twins but still, they got retconned to be Twins.)

Audrey completely left Chloe in another country yet She stayed in the exact same State as Zoe?

Andre showed no signs of not wanting to be a Mayor prior to Season 4 yet Zoe comes around and he suddenly reveals that he gave up on his old dream? Andre always does what Chloe wants him to do yet he refused to send Zoe away?

Chloe had become worse at around the same time that Zoe was introduced.

Plagg had quickly complimented Zoe when she first became Vesperia. How often does Plagg compliment someone else that fast? At least Félix had given Adrien, Plagg’s favorite food which caused him to earn Plagg’s forgiveness.

2. Zoe doesn’t have The Personality that she should have given her backstory.

The point of giving a character a Backstory, especially a Tragic one is to explain their PRESENT behavior.

Zoe has been left at a boarding school and She began being bullied when She stopped pretending to be someone that she wasn’t. Then She went to join Audrey, Chloe and Andre in Paris.

These are lists of beliefs that someone with that backstory could develop. (Taken from the website One stop for writers.)

(1 = Being abandoned/shunned. 2 = Having Neglectful parents. 3 = Discovering that one’s parent has another family. 4 = Being bullied. )

To be fair, Zoe does express a couple of these thoughts occasionally. However Zoe usually doesn’t express this stuff at all.

Before anyone suggests “Maybe the writers don’t want to show how a backstory can affect a person” Let’s compare Zoe to characters with similar backstories.

Marinette’s been bullied for years. As a result, Marinette has been shown hating how Chloe can get away with everything. Marinette’s been shown being insecure multiple times. Marinette has been shown being passive and it’s canon that she didn’t start standing up for herself until Alya came around.

Colt was abusive and it’s stated that Felix didn’t have any friends. As a result, Felix doesn’t like people much. Felix often fights with others. Felix hates the word “Monster!” because Colt often called him that. Felix likely mocked Nino’s “Bros stick together” because nobody (except Amelie) stuck by him.

Gabriel is extremely neglectful at best, abusive at worst. As a result, Adrien been shown sacrificing himself multiple times and during Guilt Trip, He appeared to be trying to cataclysm himself. In Gamer, while playing, Adrien commented on how he was pretty much not even there due to how good Marinette was. Adrien was shown to be passive too.

3. Everyone has to like her otherwise they are a unredeemable villain.

Marinette? She’s the main Hero and She’s Zoe’s first friend.

Mylene, Rose, Ivan, Alya and so on? They all quickly agreed to be Zoe’s friends after meeting her. Every single one of them is a Hero.

Andre? He ends up disowning Chloe and adopting Zoe as part of his redemption.

Felix? Zoe isn’t allowed to properly meet him because He’ll have to like her, which will be too ooc for him. (I know that technically, they saw each other during Strike Back however they didn’t exchange any words or have any meaningful interactions.)

Audrey? Terrible human being. She doesn’t like Zoe.

Chloe? She doesn’t like Zoe and She’s evil.

4. She’s used to show off how horrible Chloe is as well as how much Thomas Astruc hates Chloe.

Thomas Astruc didn’t hide what he was doing.

His self insert was around during Queen Banana. He talked about how sometimes Writers rewrite the script. Zoe was to get one of the lead roles.

Every character’s relationship with Zoe is the opposite of the relationship that they had with Chloe.

At the end of season 5, Zoe gets adopted by Andre whereas Chloe gets disowned. Chloe’s forced to stay with their abusive Mother.

Zoe gets to keep The Bee Miraculous permanently in the Season 5 ending, which is exactly what Chloe wanted.

Since Zoe’s backstory didn’t affect her much, The only reason Why the Writers gave Zoe a tragic backstory is so that Chloe will look even worse because Zoe had similar problems but she turned out fine.

He had characters compare Chloe and Zoe and made visual comparisons between Chloe and Zoe, with Zoe always being superior. Please note the ONLY other characters that got compared to each other like this were Adrien and Felix. (We all know Thomas Astruc never misses an opportunity to have Adrien be superior to Félix because of how much he hates Félix and how PV fans don’t understand why he replaced Félix with Adrien. )

The reason why Zoe doesn’t want to go back to New York is so that Chloe will look more cruel for wanting her gone.

Zoe gets The Bee Miraculous but has a Wasp theme.

5. Everything about Zoe is copied from another character.

Having Audrey for a Mother? Chloe.

Good Person with bad relatives? Kagami and Adrien.

Clothing style? Marinette.

Colors? Chloe.

Dream to be a actress? Mylene.

Personality? Rose and Marinette.

Dyed hair? Juleka.

Wearing a Hat in her hair? Mylene.

Been bullied? Marinette.

Absent Father? Juleka.

[whogirl42]

Probably an unpopular opinion but I really??? don't get the hype for Georgia/Joe??? The show is clearly planting seeds for a slow-burn endgame kind of thing between them but I don't really see why they should have that???

As a character, yes, Joe is great. And he and Georgia do have a great friendship. You can really see how Georgia just relaxes whenever she sees him. And (especially in s1) they have entertaining scenes. But. It just really feels like Joe is endlessly pining whereas Georgia is really really not there. I feel bad for Joe, I pity him, but I can't really ship him with Georgia cause it all feels SO one-sided. And I agree with Cynthia that Georgia would eat Joe alive if they got together—despite the snarky comments here and there, Joe's a complete doormat when it comes to Georgia! They're not equals! Not really. Not unless Joe grows a gd backbone somepoint in seasons 3&4.

And then there's Paul. Paul, who is madly in love with Georgia, and it so so good for and to her and her kids, and who has the most adorable friendship with Zion. Paul, who Georgia clearly is madly in love with, who she loves enough that she told him almost everything about her past, all the ugly, really laid herself bare. Paul who holds Georgia accountable and doesn't put up with her bullshit, while still being the ultimate ride-or-die husband.

Like they said in the s2 finale, Georgia and Paul are a team, they're partners.

Literally the only way I see Georgia and Paul not ending up together at the end of the show without making the characters ooc is by killing off Paul. That's it. Nothing else makes sense to me.

And I really don't understand why that should have to happen just because Joe remembered a girl he spoke to for 0.2 seconds as a teenager and named a horse Milkshake

[marinettesaltprompts]

So uh this is prob gonna come off as rude. but like, I understand that Marinette has done a lot (and I mean a lot) of questionable things. But like, she’s well-meaning and always apologizes in the end once she realizes the flaw in her actions and the ppl who it has hurt??? Yes, she shouldn’t have done a lot of things that she did, but 1) when she attempted to break in to Adrien’s house (again not at all okay, but maybe if the firefighter had done his job and told her off, it wouldn’t have happened at all) she was genuinely concerned about Adrien’s safety because she didn’t know how far Lila would go yet. And when she sent the video confessing on the same day Adrien’s mother died, she acknowledged this was an awful idea (“today is the worst day to do it, Tikki!”) but Tikki had convinced her otherwise. So again, not intentionally hurtful.

I just think that if you’re gonna give Marinette a lot of flack for the mistakes she made and learned from and made up for, you could at least acknowledge the stuff Adrien has done, didn’t learn from, and didn’t make up for (sexual harassment (and assault), enabling, etc, etc.)

You’ll probably ignore this but I just wanted to throw that out there.

Honestly if you want to see blogs where Adrien's shortcomings are acknowledged than you should just search the Adrien salt tag. I do think most of the blogs are dogshit because they flanderize the worst parts of Adrien to the extreme in an obsessed desire to circle jerk about why they hate him so much, but they do feature that kind of stuff if you feel like that its a problem you have with Adrien. I could try to compromise and include this stuff, but I don't want to, mainly because that would compromise on the prompts I make focusing on Marinette.

On that note, I want to go on record and say that I made this blog because aside from my personal hatred of this character, I did as a "fuck you" to all the adrien salt blogs where there are millions of posts about how he's a sexual stalker (even though I think its complete dogshit and those blogs only came about because of Adrien's high road comment from oblivio because "OH HE DIDNT IMMEDIATELY SIDE WITH MARINETTE SO HES BAD") but never a single post about why Marinette is also a shite character.

I made this blog specifically for that reason. To make posts about Marinette and her bullshit in the same salty format people do for Adrien, though admittedly even I failed to make the characters as OOC as other salters have done. So pardon me if I didnt want to make posts about Adrien, there are enough of those already.

And to counter you post saying that Marinette is "well meaning", let me say this:

Marinette has been a creepy stalker type character since her first episode. She had a planner tracking Adrien's every move (which was then hastily retconned 4 seasons later when it was pointed out as being a planner for all her friends) and has made multiple plans to try and seduce (or woo) him without so much care for his actual input in the matter, yet cant for the life of day simply ask him out. On that note, she would often go out of her way to prevent other girls from being with him, and even though some were rat bastards like Lila, it sure as hell wasn't care for her friend that inspired her to slander Lila in front of Adrien as Ladybug, causing her to cry and run away in Volpina. It got to a point where Marinette's desire to try and romance Adrien actively fucked over other characters, such as Juleka in Reflekdoll and the boys party in Party Crasher. She didn't HAVE to break into his house in Oni-Chan as she could have called him (or ask Nino if she could call Adrien) and warned him about Lila, but no she did it her way because fuck the rules when Marinette wants Adrien.

No I do not care season 5 is out, they are only stopping it so we can have some fake reverse love square drama bullshit that will be undone by the end of the season I SWEAR ON IT.

Even putting that aside, Marinette is also just a shite hero. Aside from some moral obligation to be a hero and being smart, there's nothing about her that remotely heroic, and most times fucks things up whenever the villains even get a single brain cell since most normal akumas are morons. She relies on others to help her win fights yet can be fucked to try and trust others and make the team work beyond demanding people to be her meatshields, to the point where even her partner that she worked with for 3+ years was getting fed up with it. Yet the second she messed up and cant rely on someone to save her sorry ass from a mess up, all she can do is cry like a bitch as some villain makes off with the entire miracle box. 3 years of hero experience and she ends up crying like a bitch.

But it doesnt matter anyway because everyone loves Marinette so much that they easily forgive her alter ego despite her MAJOR FUCK UP. Everyone in the show is obsessed with Marinette and Ladybug, to the point where they are even obsessed with her getting together with the supposed boy of her dreams, EVEN HER FUCKING EX WHO SHE BASICALLY GHOSTED FOR HALF THEIR RELATIONSHIP. As Ladybug its even worse as everyone is so happy and trusting to her (minus the villains) despite the fact she failed for 3 years to catch the one dude making all the butterflies, not because she was bad, but because she didnt try tracking him down, only confronting him when the villain himself stuck out his neck and got greedy.

I could talk about other stuff I dislike about her, but im just gonna sum it up and say that she's a Mary Sue in a world where there's no main protagonist to replace. If any other character was the main hero, she would be that character in a SI fanfic that ends up overtaking the main hero with her bullshit powers. THERE I SAID IT

On that note, im not changing my mind about how I feel about Marinette despite how much EVERYONE ELSE in the fandom wants to coddle her, and if you wanted Adrien salt in a MARINETTE SALT BLOG you should just look somewhere else. Also I didn't ignore your post so there's that I suppose.

[that70sshowgoldencouple]

“I know waaayyy back the og fans who watched during original run had referred to them as the Park Walkers....it connects to my least favorite T7S espisode out”

Just curious but why is that your least favorite episode?

Mother's Little Helper in terms of Red and Kitty is such an OOC episode that really doesn't redeem itself in anyway. This is the episode where Kitty wants Red to read "The Joys of Sex" book and Red flat out refuses. I honestly can't see in character (s1-4) Kitty doing this, she might pick up the book and maybe make comments about it something like 'We'll that doesn't seem humanely possible' or 'Oh Red and I tried that once, who knew it had a name?' However getting the book and making Red read it and refusing to cook until he does? Nope not buying it.

What's even more out of character is Red. Even though I can understand him not wanting to look at the book, because it's coming from Kitty I don't think in character (s1-4) Red would've had the reaction he does in this episode. Refusing to read it, hoping that there is a bigger problem that is making Kitty suddenly interest in this book-really? No, just no. Also just last season he was reading and enjoy Kitty's dirty girl novels in Do You Think It's Alright?.

Red and Kitty were shown to have a healthy sex life, where they both were still attractive to each other and there was no one sided kind of thing like in other sitcoms, where one of them was always in the mood and the other begrudgingly agreed. Red and Kitty would share a look and head straight up those stairs. It made no sense for them to have this story line. Thinking about it now I feel like this storyline actually fits more of Mr. and Mrs. Roper from Three's Company than Red and Kitty (don't ya think @those70scomics ?) That scene when Red finally gives in, I can almost see the exchange being had between The Ropers.

Red: Alright Kitty. I want you to be happy, I really do. And to make that beautiful, illusive dream come true I'm willing to try page 46 ( he hands her the book ) Kitty: Really? Oh Red, thank you. Oh. Page 46 that is so fancy. Red: What? Oh dear God no! Not uh not page 46. I meant page 47 . Page 47 . And no funny stuff after I fall asleep.

The wrap up to the Red/Kitty storyline doesn't wrap up much better either. Like in Babe, We've Got a Good Thing Goin' Red's OOC behavior (which I actually think might have a bit of motive behind it) is forgiven because we get real Red and Kitty back in their last scene in the kitchen where they share a really heartwarming moment. Mother's Little Helper does no such thing and goes straight for the laughs with Eric walking in on Red and Kitty playing their sexy Marco Polo in the kitchen. After not enjoying the rest of the episode that tag scene doesn't make me laugh much either.

Aside from the Red and Kitty stuff the gang's story line has to deal with the play fighting that apparently girls can't do. And that's about all I remember. I know Eric also has a talk with Kitty about why she wants Red to read The Joys of Sex and, that scene just feels more awkward than funny to me. This is where the Park Walkers name came from btw

I really hope to one day write a rewrite of that Red/Kitty episode it has potential but they chose laughs over character and for this Red and Kitty fan those laughs didn't even land well. I skip it every time, luckily it's a filler episode so it doesn't have in part of the rest of the season.

Thank you for the question, sorry the response was so long! To quote Mean Girls, 'I just have a lot of feelings' lol Thank you again @hydesjackiespuddinpop

[fazedlight]

re: weird trauma reversal and also being late to the fandom

i was also quite late to the fandom and one of the things i’ve noticed is that i think in some ways you can tell when someone bingewatched the series after it was complete, or close to when it was complete, and especially in terms of the relationships people have with the characters.

i think one of the biggest examples of this is james - i kind of feel like a lot of the people who are more open to the fact that guardiancorp happened or felt there was ‘potential there’ etc are people who would have watched seasons 1 & 2 in particular play out in real time over the course of 2 years, so they had time to form more of an acquaintance and acceptance of what his character was intended to be, whereas i think if you watched all of the seasons back to back to back over a matter of weeks james’ behaviour is so erratic across the course of seasons 1 - 4 that he just seems kind of like a manipulative jerk because suddenly the kara -> lucy -> kara -> guardian -> luthors are evil -> lena is hot comes right on the heels of each other in a way that it wouldn’t have if you were watching the series in weekly episodes.

but in specific relation to what you were saying about cheapening kara’s traumas, i think bingewatching makes that cheapening effect even worse and that it also has an impact on how people see kara and lena actually, because - similar to how it’s hard to see james as the character the showrunners intended when you binge watch - when you speedrun through s3 - s4 the inconsistency with kara’s character and her traumas makes some of her flaws, like the self-righteousness and the hypocrisy, seem even worse in a way because it’s so much more compressed? it’s a lot easier to see how it must have seemed to lena when she looked back in retrospect and revisited their friendship after the trauma of lex because the flipflopping in one episode to the next isn’t over the course of a week or a season.

(i thought the lex trauma comment in one of your earlier posts was really astute and it resonated with me so much - while there’s plenty of balanced fiction and also fiction that completely ignores that lena did Bad Things, on the other side of it I really don’t think a lot of lena’s antis really account for the fact that yeah, she completely went haywire and yeah, it was pretty ooc, but at the same time the writers did try to set the stage for it - she lived through making a morally grey decision involving a once beloved family member and then having the rug pulled out from under her immediately after, and right on the heels of some very erratic behaviour by kara. lena sitting in her office feeling used that kara only wanted her to use her as a source always gets me, like her doubts of their friendship weren’t just seeded by supergirl/kara being two people alone.)

sorry for the long comment! i try so hard to be a normal person but some of the things you say just really resonate with me, and then… this happens. congrats on completing diat as well and excited for your wips!!!

Yeah!! That makes sense. Having started the show in early 2022 and binging it, I have no sense of the pacing at all. Someone (maybe you?) brought up in another ask that the stuff with Kara’s DNA in S6 came up during covid era, when talk about DNA replication was pretty common on the news, which made it especially odd in the show that they treated it like a single-opportunity thing. I would never have thought of the covid context, since I wasn't watching then.

It makes sense that bingewatching would make that trauma reversal aspect even worse! I hadn’t thought of that. Also, ouch, the rift buildup being worse tears my heart out - it was already pretty heartwrenching from my point of view, speed running through the series!

... also, god, waiting an entire summer between S4 and S5 would’ve killed me 🤣

I feel pretty lucky in that I haven’t come across too many anti-Lena or anti-Kara folks (yet?). I just really don’t understand it… they’re just both such compelling characters. They’re both flawed, and they’re both trying to do the right thing, and they’re both trying to deal with their traumas, and I can’t imagine reading stuff for this ship without loving them both.

(Thank you for the comment, please never apologize!! I love reading these! It’s not like I’m normal either 🤣)

[two-sides-samecoin]

No I don't get Stonathan at all, especially after season two. Same with St/ncy after s2, Jonathan slept with Nancy knowing she was with Steve. He betrayed him as well, idc if they didn't like each other you don't sleep with someone who is taken. Plus he still thinks of Steve very low, aka the s4 comment. It indicates to me that both him and Nancy would make fun of Steve, given he said it so unprompted, like the conversation wasn't even about Steve and yet he had to make fun of his intelligence or capability. He seemed also genuinely shocked Nancy defending Steve, like it's ooc for her to do which just further confirms my suspicion that they both bitched about Steve negatively. They should be glad Steve was being so supportive about Jancy, also they should be a little ashamed of hiding the truth from him about how the relationship started. Steve saved his ass twice, Jonathan has seen him change and yet. I just want Steve find someone who loves him for him. No proving to his partner he has changed or having to constantly beg for forgiveness. Plus if he finds out Jonathan slept with Nancy's at Murray's place, he will be super upset, hopefully he will find out because he deserves the closure.

Also even in s1, Jonathan violated Steve's privacy, he was being a creepy stalker and he hasn't apologized to Steve at all.

It's also concerning the amount of people who ship Stonathan because the alley fight looked so homoerotic. Why start a ship based on violence? Same with H//rringrove (🤢) you see B//lly almost killing Steve and still think yeah that's hot and romantic? Or Eddie holding a broken bottle to Steve's neck, being used as this ultra hot scene. Not when Steve was literally tortured 8months prior. Almost every popular Steve ship has always this element of violence, where Steve gets the short end of the stick by being overpowered.

I ship Steve with him getting the hell out of Hawkins with Robin, starting somewhere knew where people see the good in him and he doesn't have to prove himself to them constantly. He deserves better than what's given in the show.

LITERALLY ALL OF THIS!! like you said especially after season 2 like jonathan willingly knew that steve and nancy were together or knew that they were going through a rough patch and still decided that he was going to pursue nancy. they just discussed steve and the whole stancy thing with murray and jonathan is the one to bring him up! ngl that’s comment in season 4 still bothers me like we did not need that comment at all - it’s just setting up another character to be like ‘ohh steve’s actually a good guy’ as if the audience needs to be constantly reminded that steve changed! like i don’t give a fuck about how he was in season 1 at this point - i care how steve is now. and i’m genuinely concerned that the comment is just going to lead into an awful plot line with them because genuinely they do not need to be friends at this point. they have not talked since season 2 and things were already awkward between them - i just think it’s fandom’s thing where they want everyone to be close friends with the monster hunters in st but they do not need to always be besties or even friends! like the dynamics get so boring if you just want everyone to get along - where the spice?

honestly it so indicates that to me too especially cuz you brought up about him being surprised about nancy’s comment. like why would he be surprised unless they’ve talked about steve before in a negative way and now nancy is giving him one compliment (which really isn’t even a compliment at all - genuinely annoyed that fandom and canon always sees steve growing up as a good thing when no it’s legit now because it’s traumatized. like maybe in season 1 it was good growth but now it genuinely seems to me like it’s coming from a place of trauma with steve that he’s growing up) sorry that for ranty lol. legit they both should be glad that steve is supportive bht honestly canon shows that they don’t give a fuck about steve which is why i also don’t see the stonathan angle at all - anyway yeah like that convo was never about steve so like whyd he get brought up? god i want steve to find out so badly about what happened at murray’s place because i just want steve to be angry again like he doesn’t deserve this and instead i just want the narrative to let him show his anger again but i just know the duffers will not do this so rip.

so annoyed that jonathan doesn’t apologize to steve either! oh god yeah - it’s also so ironic to me how people who saw the alleyway ship them because they will also acknowledge how steve was awful to jonathan in that scene and that steve deserved the punch. like girl if that’s how you see the scene then why the actual hell do you ship it? honestly steve’s ships in canon are just violence against steve and i think that you can tell who just doesn’t give a flying fuck about steve with his ships. especially cuz they want his ‘ i awakenjng’ to be rooted in violence against steve like please stop! and the thing that bugs me even more is that they see it in a happy way too. it’s sooo ironic and funny how steve antis are always like ‘well you treat him like he’s a child and a wet blanket’ to steve fans when they’re the ones who are also falling into doing this like girl you actively want him to be a wet blanket in a violent ship/ship that has roots with violence.

LITERALLY EVERYTHING YOU SAID IN THAT LAST PARAGRAPH! him and robin need to get the fuck out of hawkins and buy a nice house for themselves. steve legit deserves so much better than what’s been in canon.

[youreobsessedwithtoomanyfandoms]

You Don't Love Me Anymore?

Words: 4139

Warnings: angst, references to sex, breakup, hair long enough to run hand through?

STRANGER THINGS Masterlist Main Masterlist

I almost named this "Like We're In Love?" because of Steve saying it to Nancy in Season 2 and this was lowkey based off of it.

Can be read as a Part 1 for I Still Love You (Part 2) and 1,000 Yellow Daisies (Part 3)

This also was originally written for my OC Drew Henderson (Find info on her/original story on this account @imnotobsessedwfictionalchracters )

I also know that this isn't that well written, it was done on my phone when I was *lowkey* overheating in my moms car while driving to my friends DCI competition last Friday (the 15th)

Steve and other characters are PROBABLY OOC (as I suck at not being able to keep them from being OOC)

Anywho, enjoy

Y/N rolled her eyes at Robin’s comment on the Return to Oz. “Yeah, it was ‘scary’ and ‘off putting’ but that’s what I liked about it Robin.”

“Y/N, the evil-lady literally took her head off. How the hell is that not horrifying enough to not watch the film?”

“Robin, let us remember that I actually enjoyed The Black Cauldron. Unlike the majority of audiences.”

“Sometimes I seriously wonder how you and Steve get along. You two like completely different things it seems like sometimes.”

Y/N glanced over to Steve, who was checking a customer out. “Yeah...so do I.” 

“Hey,” Robin’s voice was full of concern, “I know it’s like, none of my business, but are you and Steve okay? Things have seemed tense between the two of you lately.”

Y/N looked back at Robin and shot her a small smile, “Yeah, everything’s fine!”

And she could tell that Robin didn’t believe her by the look on her face, but Y/N chose to ignore it. “Okay, if you’re sure Y/N.”

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, I am.” She looked at her watch and cursed as she saw the time. “Damn, I have to go Robin.” She placed the movie in her hand where it was supposed to go quickly and quickly ran into the break room to clock out for her break. She grabbed her jacket and keys and raced out the door, but as she did, she gave Steve a smile, “I’ll be back in like an hour with Dustin.”

Either he didn’t hear her or he ignored her as he didn’t make any acknowledgement to her comment. She tried to ignore the sting it caused her to feel as she opened the door and ran out, trying not to slip on the snow ridden ground. She ran to her car and unlocked the door, she plugged the key into the ignition to start it. After turning the heat all up, she tossed her jacket off and left the parking lot of Family Video and made her way to the High School.

By the time she finally made it, she was nearly an hour late. She was meant to pick him up between 3:10 and 3:20 and it was nearing 4 o’clock. She groaned as she saw her brother standing with his friends in front of the school. She pulled up in front of them and opened her door, got out, and walked over to them.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up. I know I’m late. I got sidetracked and completely missed the time!.”

“If you would’ve been a few minutes later Elder Henderson, I was going to kidnap your brother.”

Y/N rolled her eyes and Eddie’s comment, “Oh and I’m sure that Dustin would have loved it.” She turned to her brother, “I’m seriously sorry. A bunch of people decided to return their movies today so Robin and I were stalking the shelves.” She gave Mike and Lucas a smile, “You two good? Have a ride home and then to Hellfire?”

“Actually, Nancy’s sick, so could you take me to Hellfire?”

Y/N ran a hand through her hair, slowly becoming aware of the cold air around her. “Yeah, yeah I can. But I can’t take you home beforehand.”

“I don’t mind staying in the back of Family Video!”

She sighed, “As long as you’re sure.”

He nodded, “I am.”

“Then you two get your shit into the car.” She looked at Lucas, “You good, Sinclair?” He gave her a look and she rolled her eyes, “Alright. Follow the other two.” And as he went to put everything in the back she looked at Eddie. “You didn’t have to stay with them.”

Eddie shrugged, “True. But what kind of idol would I be if I did?” He stuffed his hands in his pockets, “Besides, it’s fucking cold outside. Didn’t want them to freeze to death due to someone's negligence.”

“Well that someone has a fucking job.”

He lifted his arms up in defense, “Didn’t mean to upset you.”

She sighed, “You didn’t, Munson.”

“You seem stressed. Everything good? Need anything?”

She rolled her eyes at the last comment. She had already known Eddie before Dustin joined Hellfire. Bought some weed off of him her Junior and what would be his first fail at a Senior year, a few years ago.  “I quit that, Munson.” She sighed and ran a hand through her hair, “But I’m good. Just tired and shit. Y’know, the holidays and things.”

Eddie nodded, “Well, need anything, I’m open Henderson.”

She gave him a soft smile, “Thanks.”

“Anytime.” He looked behind her, “Probably should let you go. Don’t kill my protége with your driving.”

She rolled her eyes and she began to walk away from him, “Yeah, I would be killing my brother in a car crash. That is not how I plan on killing him.” She dropped into her car, “See you later, Munson.”

He smiled at her, “See you later Henderson. And you too Henderson, Wheeler, and Sinclair. Don’t be late tonight.”

And on Eddie’s final words, she pressed the gas and drove back to Family Video. She numbly listened to her brother and his friends talk about Hellfire and the end of their recent campaign being tonight. Her thoughts were more focused on what Eddie had said. Was it really that obvious that everything with Steve has stressed her out from hell? But what showed it? She knew that her makeup hid the dark circles that she had gained due to the lack of sleep from worry. And the tear stains weren’t visible because of the makeup, once again. And he hadn’t thought that she had lost much weight from barely being able to eat. But maybe she was wrong. Maybe that was it. Maybe she looked smaller than normal.

She found it funny. She was perfectly healthy. But if Junior year her were to have seen what she looked like and weighed, she would have had a heart attack. Would have said she was ‘overweight’ and that she had to run to the bathroom. It sucked. And it was ironic that Steve was who helped her. He always did. That was how he was. Always helped her when she needed it. 

She felt like shit. Just like she did 3 years ago, just before her Sophomore year. When she lost Steve. God did she just hope that this feeling would go away and that she wouldn’t feel this way forever. And that nothing bad was going to happen with her and Steve. That everything would be okay.

But God did she know that would be a lie.

The second she pulled into the parking space she knew she was gonna get yelled at. She went 5 minutes over her break time. But she honestly could care less. She knew full well that they weren’t gonna fire her over that. She made Dustin grab her jacket as she shut her door. When they all entered, she tried to hide the pain when she saw the large smile on Steve’s face when he saw Dustin.

“Henderson!”

“Steve!”

She sighed and walked to the back, but when she went to clock herself back in, she saw that she already had been. She turned back and walked over again. She was going to ask what happened since it was only her, the kids, Steve, and Robin in the store, but she saw the look on Robin’s face. She shot her friend a grateful smile and mouthed ‘thanks’. To where her friend merely shrugged.

She walked over to the kids, “Alright, backroom children. Don’t wanna get in trouble cause of y’all. I get off at 6. So I’ll take you guys back for Hellfire straight after.” She ignored the protests from both her brother and boyfriend and gave Dustin a look that literally told him to listen or else he wouldn’t like what she would do. As the boys exited into the backrooms, she smiled at Steve. “So I was thinking, we get off at the same time, and I’ll have time before I’ll have to pick them up after Hellfire, what if we rented a movie ourself and have a little movie night?” She pushed a strand of hair from her face, “We haven’t done that in a while.” And she tried to keep the pained look from escaping when he flinched away from her hand that was moving to touch his arm. “Steve?”

“I--probably not. I have things that I need to get done when I get home.”

“Oh,” She tried not to sound disappointed, “Right. Yeah. Um...what about Christmas? Are you gonna come over?”

He shrugged, “Maybe. Not really sure.”

She nodded, almost numbly. “Okay...well I’m gonna help Robin finish stocking the films.”

He didn’t even acknowledge her final comment and she just nodded and walked away. She tried to keep the tears in her eyes, but couldn’t help that a few fell as she silently restocked the rows. Thankfully it wasn’t enough to mess with her makeup, but it was still enough that it messed with her mood for the rest of her shift.

But even unknown to her. The three Freshmen sitting in the backroom saw all of that. Lucas turned to Dustin, “Is everything okay between Y/N and Steve?”

Dustin shrugged, “I don’t know. He hasn't been around as much, which really sucks. Plus, she’s rarely on the phone with him, which is weird! I’m used to them being on the phone until mom yells at her to get off of it cause she either needs to use it or it’s getting late.”

“Did they break up?”

Lucas looked at Y/N as she placed the movies on the shelves, “I don’t think so. I mean, y’all know how it was whenever Max and I did. This is different.”

“I love Steve, but if he hurts her, I will not hesitate to murder him.”

And on that note, Lucas and Mike stopped talking about how tense everything between Y/N and Steve were. And for the last hour and a half of her shift, Y/N did all that she could to avoid looking at Steve. She talked to Robin some, but not much. The most she spoke was to a customer asking which movie she should rent for her and her kids to watch over Christmas. Of course Y/N suggested A Christmas Story. That movie had a soft place in her heart. Her, Jonathan, and Nancy took their siblings (plus Lucas) to see it when it came out 2 years ago.

But when she looked at her watch and read that it was 6, she quickly walked into the backroom and clocked out. She didn’t even tell the kids that it was time to go. They just knew from her walking in and grabbing her keys. She waved goodbye to Robin as she exited the store. She unlocked her car and just like it was when she left earlier, she made sure the car warmed up and made her way to the school.

After she dropped her brother and his friends off at the school and made sure they made it inside, she drove home. She noticed the lack of her mothers car in the driveway, signaling that she still wasn’t back from her work trip yet. She sighed as she unlocked the front door and was instantly greeted by the angry meows of Tews. She leaned down and pet the cat affectionately as she shut the door.

She dropped her keys in the key bowl and walked into the kitchen and silently made Tews his supper. One she did that, she walked into her room and shut the door. She clicked the power button on her radio and the sounds of Christmas songs began to fill her room. Currently it was the middle of Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses. She dropped down onto her bed and buried her head into her pillow. 

She had no idea how much time had passed when she heard the shrill ringing of the phone. She groaned and leaned over to grab it. “You’ve reached the Henderson household. This is the daughter Y/N Henderson speaking.”

“Hey, it’s Steve.” 

And any inattentiveness quickly faded away and she made sure she was fully listening. “Steve. Babe. Hey. What's up?”

“Could you come over?” His voice sounded slightly desperate.

“Thought you were busy?”

She heard him sigh over the phone, “That was a lie.” She heard shuffling, “So, what do you say? You gonna come over? I just wanna talk.”

Talk. Oh God. He was going to break up with her.

She swallowed the lump in her throat, “Y-yeah. I-I can. Just give me a few and I’ll be over there.”

“Okay. Good. See you in a few.”

“Yeah, see you in a few.” And after a quick second she began, “I love--” But was cut off by the sound of the other line being dead.

She ignored the pain she felt and sat the phone back down on the receiver. She got off her bed and as she exited her room, turned off the radio and the light. She shut the door and walked into the living room. She rolled her eyes at Tews, who was sitting on the couch. And muttered a “Lazy cat.” as she grabbed the keys to her car and her wallet. 

So once again, she was waiting for her car to warm up before she left towards the Harrington home. She hummed along to the songs playing on the Radio. She drove extra carefully due to the snow falling from the dark sky onto the already slick road. The normal 10 minute drive turned into a 30 minute one due to her caution. 

As she drove up the driveway, Last Christmas by Wham! was playing. Which should have told her enough to just turn back around and not do this. But she ignored it and turned off her car and got out. Immediately cursing herself for not bringing her jacket with her. She quickly ran to the door and knocked. Jumping from left to right in an attempt to not freeze to death. 

When the door opened and revealed Steve in the soft blue sweater that she had bought him last year for Christmas she smiled. But not a fake, forced one. A genuine one that she didn’t realize had grown on her face until it was there. 

“Y/N, get in here before you die of frostbite.”

She had forgotten how cold she was due to the warmth she was feeling from seeing him. “Oh right.” She slipped past him but stayed near as he shut the door. She placed her keys and wallet on the little table next to the door. She turned back to him and the two stood awkwardly in the foyer. 

He coughed, “Wanna go upstairs?” She nodded silently and as he turned to go to the stairs. She instinctively reached for his hand. And this time, when her fingers grazed his skin, he didn’t jolt away. No. In fact, he flicked his hand to slip it into hers. The warmth from her body never fading. Any hint that she was just freezing from just being out in the snow, was gone as her hand laid in his and they walked up the stairs to his room.

Once they made it to his room, she acted out of instinct and sat in his bed. And God had she wished she missed the look that had flashed over Steve’s face. The look of someone who was about to do something incredible stupid. The look that someone would give if they knew that they were going to regret what they were about to do. 

But she still ignored the pain in her chest. Screaming at her to leave. Screaming at her that if she stays, she needs to do it first. The warmth that she had felt moments ago, it was still there. But it was slowly fading away and she was struggling to grasp onto it. 

And now it was her turn to cough in order to stop the tense and awkward silence. “So what did you wanna talk about, Stevie?”

He sighed, “I don’t think that this,” He motioned back and forth from him to her, “Us, can work anymore.”

She tried to hide the hurt, “What do you mean, Stevie?”

He looked at her desperately, “Please Y/N. I know you’re not dumb. I know you know what I mean.” She refused to look at him now. She dropped her head and stared at her hands. She felt the bed dip and soon saw his hand reaching for hers. She flinched away and ever so slightly moved further away. “YN, please. Say something.”

The tears were threatening to fall from her eyes. “This is bullshit.”

Either he actually didn’t hear her or he needed to hear what she said again since he asked her, “What was that?”

Her voice, barely louder, spoke again. “This is bullshit.”

“What is?”

“You doing this.” She finally looked at him again. “You, pushing me away for weeks on end, calling me that you want to talk. Open the fucking door wearing a different fucking shirt than you were at work. You-you wearing the fucking sweater I bought you for Christmas last year.” She sniffed, “It’s fucking bullshit.”

He looked away. “I’m sorry. I’m just tired of pretending, acting as if we were in love.”

Any resolve she may have had to fix them faded away. That warmth she had clinged to following it. “As if we’re in love?” She stared at him. Hurt, betrayal, and pain was all that could be seen on her face. “You-you don’t love me anymore?” He said nothing. But she knew from the look on his face that he meant it. And she tried as hard as she could to keep her voice from cracking. “How long?” He stayed quiet. “How. Fucking. Long. Steve.?”

And now his own voice was barely above a whisper. “Since around Thanksgiving.”

She nodded. Since their stupid fucking fight. “So you haven’t loved me for nearly a month now?”

“No.”

“No? You haven’t? Has it been longer? Have you never loved me at all?” Once again Steve stayed quiet and she stood up angrily. “Or do you not know?”

“No. I don’t know.” And as she went to walk away he spoke again. “Not that I didn’t love you! I did! I-I did love you! I just don’t know when I stopped.”

She nodded and walked over to his bedroom door. Her hand floated above the doorknob. She turned back to him as the tears finally falling from her eyes. “Fuck you, Steve Harrington.” She opened the door, “Fuck you.” And she slammed it behind her. She ran as fast as she could down the stairs. She went so fast she didn’t even register that she forgot to grab her wallet. 

She felt like fate was against her cause the moment her Radio turned on, Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney was playing. The same fucking song had played a year ago when she gave him the fucking sweater he was hearing. 

Y/N laid her head on Steve’s shoulder. Their backs against the couch. The sound of Wonderful Christmastime playing in the background. She smiled as Dustin opened the gift she got him. It was a new DnD dice set. One he had been begging their mom to buy him. He smiled at her and attacked her in a hug. She smiled and wrapped her arms around him.

“Now that Dustin got all of his presents.” She turned to Steve, “It’s your turn.”

He smiled, “You didn’t have to get me anything.”

She smiled as she grabbed the small wrapped box. “Yeah, but I wanted to.” She handed it to him and he carefully unwrapped it. Once he got down to the box, he took off the lid and she spoke again. “You mentioned how you needed a new sweater. And I was out with Nance and I saw it and thought you would like it.” She bit her lip nervously, “Do you like it?”

He smiled and kissed her. “I love it babe.” He pulled away from her slightly. He looked around, her eyes ended up following his. Dustin was already on the phone with someone and her mom was asleep. He kissed her again and she smiled into it.

This time when they pulled away, they laid their foreheads against the other. And the words fell out of her mouth before she could even think. “I love you.”

She felt herself biting her lip the second she realized what she had said. He brought his hand up and ran his thumb over her lips, lightly pulling her teeth off of them. “I think,” He looked into her eyes lovingly, “That I love you more, sweetheart.”

She smiled and kissed him again and then whispered against his lips. “I highly doubt it.”

She was confused as she opened her bedroom door. When had she gotten home? She shook her head and went to the phone and dialed the number for the Wheelers.

It rang for a few minutes before she heard Nancy and Mike’s mom’s voice over the phone. “This is Karen Wheeler.”

“Hey Mrs. Wheeler, it’s Y/N. Dustin’s sister.”

“Y/N! Is everything okay? Is Mike alright?”

“Yeah, I-I think so? He was when I dropped him off for Hellfire.”

She heard the elder woman let out a sigh of relief. “Then what do you need dear?”

“I really hate to do this, but do you think you could bring Dustin home when you pick Mike up? I’m not feeling well, I might’ve caught whatever it is that Nancy has.”

“Oh! Of course, dear! Does he have a key?”

“He should.” She sighed, “Thank you so much Mrs. Wheeler.”

“Of course dear. I hope you feel better. And don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. I understand that your mom is out of town.”

“Of course, Mrs. Wheeler.” Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “I’m gonna go now. Probably sleep some. Have a nice night.”

“Yes, get rest. I’ll pick Dustin up and make sure he gets in safely. Get better soon.”

Y/N didn’t even mess with saying anything else and just dropped her phone back down. She didn’t even change and just closed her eyes, falling asleep fully clothed. Completely tired of everything that just happened

Tired that she had basically just wasted the past month hoping that he would get over their stupid fight. Tired that she shouldn’t have ignored her gut. Tired of being tired.

-

Y/N groaned as she heard a knock on her door. “Y/N!” It was Dustin, “It’s 3! Aka when you were gonna take me to get presents for my friends!”

Her eyes snapped open and she turned her head to glance at her clock. Sure enough Dustin was right. She stumbled out of her bed and opened her door. “Give me like, 30 minutes, got it?”

Before she was able to close her door, he spoke again . “You look like shit.”

“Wonderful observation.”

“Like you’re hungover. Wait, are you hungover? Is that why Mrs. Wheeler picked me up yesterday?! You got drunk?!”

“I did not get drunk, Dustin. I was dealing with my own fucking shit.”

“Like what?”

She sighed, “It’s none of your business, Dustin.”

“What? Was Steve here and you two slept together or something?” She felt the tears prick her eyes when Dustin mentioned Steve’s name. She saw the look of surprise on his face. “Woah! You okay? Did something happen? Are you pregnant or something?” His face turned to one of horror. “Oh please don’t be pregnant. I’m too young to be an Uncle.”

She shook her head and wiped away the tears. “No. I’m not pregnant.” She wished she was. That would be easier to explain than the truth. “Steve um...Steve and I broke up.”

“What?”

“We broke up last night, Dustin. It...it was mutual.”

“Sure as fuck doesn’t seem like it.” He placed a hand on his hip, “I may love Steve, but I’m gonna best his ass for this.”

She laughed at her brother's comment. “It’s okay Dustin. I knew it was coming anyways.” She gave him a small smile, “I’ll go get dressed and then we can go out.”

“No! I’m calling Robin. You two can have a...girls day?”

She laughed again, “Nah. I’d rather spend the day with my little brother.”

His mouth broke out into a large smile, “Really?!”

She nodded, “Really.” She started to shut her door, “Give me an hour, tops.”

“Yeah, yep!”

She smiled as she shut her door. Yeah, she was heartbroken over Steve, but at least she had her brother to cheer her up.

[thevoidspeakz]

Okay, major season 4 vol 2 rant here cuz I'm stupid and need to share my thoughts. Bare with me cuz these are my opinions and you can think whatever you want and it's okay!! I'm not here to fight anyone!!!

(And before you comment, I know I'm probably delusioning myself, I know I shouldn't get my hopes up, but y'know what fuck it if it's not canon in the end I'll keep being a byler truther fuck everything)

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Starting off with the obvious; byler.

Being fully honest with you? We may still have a chance. I watched it with my mom and she actually helped me come up with explanations that still point to byler being endgame.

(before we get into that, I just want to say that a lot of the stuff mentioned, shown or implied by cast or writers, was marketing. I hate it but there's always money involved.)

The first and most compelling one to me being Mike's internalized homophobia. We all know about that, but that can very much explain his behaviors here.

My mom had a friend that only actually accepted the fact she was bisexual on her thirties. Everyone knew, but she just couldn't accept it, and she also grew up in the eighties.

I feel like it's really important to consider the way Mike is raised. His father is extremely conservative, his mom isn't very present in his life, and he has absolutely no other role models, it was the eighties. Understanding that, let's get into the van scene on episode 8;

So, here we have a couple of options:

1. Mike didn't notice Will crying at all. The way the shot was taken made it look like Will was completely turned around, and Mike couldn't see his face. The reason for Mike not noticing, which would be very uncharacteristic for him, could be the fact that he was genuinely worried about El (he doesn't love her romantically, but he still loves her a lot platonically.), and also just the fact that the Byer's house was shot up, and they had to bury a dead man's body. I find this theory a bit less compelling considering Mike's usual behavior, but then again his usual internalized homophobia also plays a part in this.

2. Mike did notice Will was crying, but didn't say anything about it. That may seem shitty as fuck (and it is tbh), but let's analyse this;

They were in the van with two other people. We all know Mike doesn't want to accept himself, so he most definitely would NOT want to have a heart to heart around other people. He's already struggling to open up to himself, himself alone, so imagine saying how you truly feel around others, especially that you're not so close with? It can't be easy. Either way, his internalized homophobia plays onto it like always.

Him not comforting Will does seem extremely ooc, but he's changed a lot. He feels like he can't just be there for his "best friend" without it being weird. Could he have brought it up later? Yes but I feel like that's a different problem, considering they literally barely showed up at all this season. They didn't have any time alone like on volume 1, only the scene on Hopper's cabin, but they used that to make Will plot relevant again. (because he's only important when he means something to the plot of course of course/s)

;;

Still on the same scene, we get Will lying to Mike that it was El that commissioned the painting (goddamnit Will Byers I love you so much my baby). In my opinion, and really, really just my opinion cuz there isn't anything really pointing to it, Mike would've known that wasn't true. He knows El doesn't even like DnD, and maybe he even noticed that Will was talking about himself, and not El, but didn't comfort him because... See above. (Also yes I am very upset that the painting wasn't the swingset and I am also very upset that neither Will or Mike got vecna'd but see my point about marketing (which was also brought up by my mom))

;;

Moving on to what I feel is what most hurt my byler heart: Mike's 'i love you ' to El. Shit, here we go again, I'm being so delusional but idfc anymore. Here is my *possible* explanation to that:

Spur of the moment. They probably thought El was fucking dying right there, his 'i love you' may not even have meant anything romantic (we see Eddie and Dustin saying 'i love you' to each other when.. yeah.). There's also Will pushing forward their relationship. This feels sorta like a hate crime, but I stopped to think about it and.. it didn't do anything. Sure, Mike's 'i love you' helped El fight back and whatever whatever, but she still didn't talk to him much after that. Their relationship didn't really chance much. Coming back to Will pushing forward their relationship, it may have made Mike feel the need to say it, cuz at this point Will was practically making him say it.

That last point might also explain why Mike's monologue was so fucking shit. It sounded fake, and forced, and nothing had been pointing to the reason he didn't say 'i love you' to El being that he was afraid of losing her. Nothing. If anything, they almost paralelled it with stancy, and we know that (at least back in the first seasons, now I'm not so sure :/) Nancy couldn't say 'i love you' to Steve because *she didn't love him*.

I still feel like that was like. Totally unecessary? They're making us doubt shit hard here, but I almost feel like they're doing that on purpose? I don't know, I'm delusional I'm sorry

;;

Some lesser points here.

I'm sad as fuck we didn't get a byler hug. They didn't parallel the hand hold scene either. Ffs.

Still tho, I feel like they might, they MIGHT do this on season five (I'm not putting my full trust on them anymore). Byler wasn't the only relationship with unresolved problems this season, Jancy did too. They're still lying to each other. I feel like the duffers are doing this to up the hype for the next season, again. There's money involved here and we all know that money's probably what they most care about 😐

Also, Mike and El didn't kiss once. Like not once. Idk that just. Feels important considering all they did was kiss on s3

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Moving on from byler, and continuing with my marketing point, they like. Lied to us so fucking much.

Started off with saying Peter Ballard was Henry's real name, and then saying that we'll find out why Will was the first one taken, and why the UD is stuck on the day he was taken... Those were all lies. For marketing, most likely.

Do I think we'll figure that out next season? Yeah. I mean, they made it seem very much like Will is going to be very plot relevant again next season.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Everything else;

Honestly? I really liked it.

At least while watching, I didn't really get bored like I saw some people saying (then again, maybe I'm just weird).

Lumax made me so happy, and I'm so glad we got Jopper too!

Also the other character interactions like with Dustin and Eddie, and then Dustin and Wayne at the end :(

Fuck the duffers for making me think Robin's love life was destroyed but GODDAMN VICKY (idk how to spell her name I'm sorry) AND ROBIN ARE PERFECT FOR EACH OTHER AND I KIND OF LOVE THEM???? Idk I fell in love with Vicky's character from the start, even though she showed up for like 5 minutes.

Am I sad we didn't get ronance? Yeah, but at least she isn't the classic "sad gay pines for straight person" shit.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Final thoughts:

Was the way byler was advertised for vol 2 still queerbaiting? Yes and I'm still fucking pissed at that. I'm also pissed at how much we got lied to. Do I have my hopes up for byler? Nope, trust issues after today. Do I still have a tiny small insignificant slither of hope left? I hate to say it but yeah. If delusioning myself for the next year and a half is what I have to do to stay sane then it is what I will do. If I end up losing then well... At least I'll have my mom on my side. She's a queen. Love her.

I'm definitely way too damn hopeful about this but I am just self destructive like that I guess.