#comment if you'd like to be alerted when updates are posted

[atticollateral]

Autism Assessment Update (bc it's been almost 3 months since I mentioned it haha oops) (it's a novel. you've been warned.)

tagging @examishbookwyrm bc they did comment on my autism assessment post I made in MARCH!! n i didn't respond...(adhd moment) get honourable mention'd.

--- SOOOO. BIG ASS PERSONAL LIFE UPDATE!!! I have... literally the worst news? Like the worst-worst news I think I will ever share. So imma start from the beginning :> [I detail everything about the assessment in this post. The process, the assessment itself, and the after.]

So. This is part of the NS Pilot Program for assessing people who were going to age out of the early-childhood-assessment waitlist (because hey! it is a 5 year long wait! haha!) which was led by NS Health and the Gov. of Canada (who paid for all the assessments.) It's safe to say that NOBODY is happy! (if you look it up you will find articles on how... awful it's been. Also if you look up articles I might have left out details bc my brain is VERY SPOTTY bc i am enraged) but anyway,

The first part of this is they had been calling my mom during the day; my mother had been working days. So she wasn't picking up. And they weren't answering her calls back or her messages! Already a big red flag. Because they can't get ahold of her they call me. Me! The person they're going to assess, who, at the time, was 18, and perfectly capable of consenting, as an adult, and taking care of their own medical records and appointments and such. They go "Hello, is this (deadname's) mom?" And I go "This is (deadname); and my name is [Chosen]" and they go "Oh, Well. Can you get your mother to call us?" And I said in a tone I believe was very clearly annoyed bc wtf? "Oh, no, you can tell me whatever you're going to tell her!" They tell me "Well we're looking to get you into the NS pilot program for autism assessments" yada yada "is that something you'd be interested in?" And me being me (poor and reasons to think I'm autistic and being on the waitlist) go "yeah!" AND THIS FUCKING WOMAN GOES "ok then get your mom to call us. this is the date. we need her to confirm." and I go "...why?" and they go "we just need to talk to her." and I go "...why can't you just talk to me?" and she just repeats herself so I go "um. ok. well. you have a good day? bye?" and hang up. So i'm simmering; bc I am literally an adult. I don't need my mom. I should be treated like an adult and I'm getting infantilized. I got the woman's name and # so I give it to my mom. It takes another month to get a date for the assessment approved bc they STILL WONT ANSWER HER CALLS OR MESSAGES.

My mother was required to do two prerequisite assessments a week or two before my in-person one. One over the phone and one over zoom. I am above the age of 16 (as stated) and perfectly capable of consent and being an informant. (you are legally allowed to consent to a majority of medical assessments in NS when you turn 16 w/o alerting ur parents, and clearly allowed to do that over the age of 18 as that is age of majority.) So i'm just miffed. They tell her not to tell me anything. She says fuck that (thank the gods) and so she tells me things they tell her. So the night before the assessment I help her with the form they MAKE HER FILL OUT before the assessment like "when did your child start walking/running" "when did they learn to ride a bike" "when did they start talking/writing" stuff like that. and I go ok. sure. autism can show in early childhood, it's a neurological developmental disorder. I get it. Even though autistic individuals can have average, slowed, or accelerated development (IT'S ALMOST LIKE ITS LITERALLY CALLED AUTISM SPECTRUM DISORDER) There's a question that catches me off guard. "what is your child's dominant hand" ...i'm sorry. back it up. *Yes.* There are studies that say many people who have ASD are left handed or ambidextrous. But oh. My. Gods. Above. THAT IS NOT GROUNDS FOR DIAGNOSIS; and you can also ASK THE KID during the assessment! What kind of question?! [I am right-hand predominant but I am ambidextrous.]

I move on.

I go into the assessment. On the table; the dr's introductory sheet in a photo frame. His title sits atop the document with a head, MADE OF BLUE PUZZLE PIECES alarm bells alarm bells alarm bells oh my fucking god help me jesus christ please help me i promise i'll believe in you if you help me right now please please plea "Hi!" A woman greets us, sitting in an office with the door open. I don't know her name. She doesn't stand from her desk. "I'll be with you in a moment." I laugh awkwardly. My mom says ok as the woman shuts her door. I tell my mom "I hate it here; can we go home?" Because I genuinely feel unsafe; I'm shaking. She laughs softly and goes "It'll be okay." So I put a brave face on bc I love my mom and she's nice and wait for the lady. She calls us in a few minutes later. I don't remember her introducing herself. I don't remember her offering a handshake or any other "polite" gesture. That would be something important to do, and I would have remembered it. She tells us how long it will be and a lay down of what's gonna happen and asks MY MOTHER FOR CONSENT TO FILM ME. Not ME for consent to film ME, an 18 year old. My mom turns to me confused and asks me if I'm okay with it instead. I go "yeah." (I was not okay with it); the woman told us the assessment would not happen if they could not film it. So I agreed; giving *assent* rather than *consent* was something I was pissed off about then and there. The woman asks HER if she'd like to stay so my mom asks ME if she wants me to stay, I hug my mom after I ask her to leave because I'm an adult and can handle myself. I don't need my mom to be there. I sit down. I have my pompompurin stuffed animal with me and a messenger bag with pens and stuff in it because I know there are things to write and don't like using other people's things. She doesn't ask about the bag. She sets up the camera and such, explaining that she'll have to occasionally turn to her laptop to make sure the recording is still going. I have pompom in my lap along with a fidget while she talks. She says something along the lines of "um, you'll want to put that away, you'll need your hands." And I go, rather firmly, something along the lines of; "I'll put it away when I need to use my hands. I am focusing on you right now." To which she seems surprised and goes "um... okay, that's fine." And continues on. (Was she not expecting an adult to have clear boundaries and be able to state their needs?) She offhandedly mentions something about [Dr] perhaps coming in to see me at some point during the assessment. My heart drops. She's not the doctor? She isn't the psychiatrist? What the hell?

The assessment begins. They're giving me tests for children, she said she made it harder. I disagree. I find the tasks easy. Simple games/puzzles. I tell her I like puzzles. She keeps throwing positive affirmation at me; I become annoyed with it after awhile because I know she's only doing it to make me continue doing the activity. It's common for people who work with children. She is infantilizing me. I know I was thinking it subconsciously.

The tests are not geared towards my age range, I notice immediately. I become miffed, going "these are too easy for me so far" or something to that effect. She laughs at me. I become upset. We start the reading part of the test. I read to show reading speed and comprehension. I read out loud to show my pronunciation. I read words that don't exist to show my reasoning skills when it comes to language. I am in my 5th year of high school (I struggle with school). This task is mundane and annoying. I feel like I am in third grade. I feel infantilized. I feel like the tests aren't going to be accurate. I am annoyed. I do it fast as I can to get it over with. Some of the reading pieces she makes me do multiple times.

We begin the mathematics part. I am not good at mathematics. She has upped the difficulty for the mathematics, she tells me. I begin; The first test is a Working Memory test; listing numbers she reads to me in a specific order. I am bad at it after the more convoluted ones. Some of the work is recognizing shapes and patterns. There is addition, fractions, multiplication and division questions. She points out I'm 'doing the test wrong' multiple times. I tell her that this test is stupid (or something to that effect) due to the structure. She laughs at me. There are a few tests I can't do or become quickly annoyed with (naming mean, median, and mode, prime numbers, fractions.) As I haven't done them since 11th grade level (I took a different math course and haven't done math since I finished my credits 2 school years ago.) We break for lunch after doing half of the mathematics.

I return to continue with the mathematics. I am still annoyed even after eating lunch. I had complained to my mother how it felt like torture: No eraser, No Calculator, no Tools, and no asking for help (She is not allowed to give me help, even if I don't know something.) I am on the brink of actual tears in frustration because I cannot receive help. I understand the potential why, but I think it's idiotic.

We begin the writing and listening comprehension. I am made to write an essay on a game I like and why I like it, I am given 10 minutes. I write it about Minecraft and it's offshoots. For listening comprehension, there are a few tests. I tell her about certain parts of what i've heard. Most of them are ads, so telling her what they say is easy for me, because it feels like slush and I have trained my ears to pick up more important information because of APD (Auditory Processing Disorder). She repeats them a few times to get me to tell her more. There are more working memory tests. Something with shapes, form, and colours. One about things she's listed. There's a test where I tell her a story in a picture book based on photos only. I am becoming tired. There's a test where I need to copy a picture. I am not allowed to trace the picture. I am not allowed to hold the picture. I am not allowed to use a tool. She says something about how I should like it because I told her I am an artist. I start going on while begrudgingly doing the test that this is horrible, this isn't what art is, and i'd like to not be doing it this way because it is impractical. She laughs at me again. I am annoyed. I get to take another short break after that.

There is another test when I come back with shapes. I see there are 8 pieces and a grid I must put them in; observing the grid, I go "I need all 8 pieces." She gives me 4 pieces. I frown. I say "I need all 8 of them, can I have them please?" as I put the 4 she gave me into the grid. She hands me 2. I put them in. I repeat myself. "I know I need all 8 of them. Can you give them to me please?" She gives me 1. I become insanely frustrated at that point. "What is this?" I go, "Can I have the last piece?" I ask her annoyedly, and she gives it to me. She's smiling. She thinks this is funny? I put it in the place. I rearrange the pieces into a nicer pattern in the grid because she annoyingly gave me the pieces while she takes her notes.

There is an activity where I have to tell her a story using 5 random pieces of garbage. She shows me how to do it first when I already understand the premise and was going to do it after the verbal instruction and presentation of the items. I know it is to assess my imaginative play. I am an 18 year old artist. This is easier than breathing to me. I do it begrudgingly because I am embarrassed to do it. She laughs at me again. I am so annoyed at this point I am thinking the most angry thoughts. What is her issue??? I don't say anything while I wait for the other tests.

I am presented with a test with over 100 questions. I say out loud multiple times "I don't have OCD" to multiple questions I've been asked before to assess me for OCD. She says something about 'Don't think about it. just answer.' and I say something along the lines of "I've been to therapy since I was about 12. I do therapy speak. I know what the questions are asking me. I can't not think about it." She scoffs at me. I am so irritated. Many of the questions ask me if I am suicidal. Many of the questions ask me if I am paranoid. There are questions about ego, and questions about self-worth, questions about poverty, questions about things that don't pertain (to see if I'm paying attention.) I finish the test. She asks if I answered honestly. I say "I think so." But I my answers will be different tomorrow. They're always different later. That's how surveys work.

One of the last tests is asking me questions and having me answer. Things like "do you have friends?" "how do you feel about relationships?"; I ask her "Well, how do you define relationships? Are you in any? Are you asking me about friendship or dating?" She tells me she has a partner; a husband if I recall. I say something about marriage and romance. She asks me more questions about feelings, boundaries, relationships, and experiences in my life. It is the last test.

We leave the room to talk to my mother in the waiting room. I have not seen [Dr] once. Girl asks me what my pronouns are. I tell her it/its. She complains. I tell her too bad flat out. We leave.

I only learn upon getting home that her name is Alison.

I wait a month for my draft results. I had to get my teacher to fill out a form. I had to sign a consent form for them to do that which they made me do digitally after the assessment and CLEARLY wanted my mother to sign. She gets me to sign it because I'm an adult. She understands.

My mom sits me down. She goes "You aren't going to like this." I frown. "I'm not autistic?" She nods. "You aren't. But they said you have 3 or 4 other things."

Alarm bells again. I get her to bring up my draft assessment on the computer for me to read. I am enraged. They refer to me as "transgendered". They misgendered me. There were numerous, insane typos that would be easy to catch on the first pass.

I begin work on an Essay/Paper telling them why their assessment is bullshit and how I meet the criteria for autism spectrum disorder. (I READ THE DSM-5 AND DSM-5-TR FOR THIS CRAP.) I also berate them the whole time for their behaviour, the nature of the assessment, and lack of care. A week or so later I get the final draft. They still misgendered me; and there are still typos. I get my mom to email it to me and I send it to multiple of my friends, my Therapist, and give her my consent to share it with my Psychiatrist and anyone else she sees fit with her discretion with the password for the protected document, along with a screenshot pointing out the most glaring typo (being misgendered.) My therapist and psychiatrist show it to the Autism Lead in their district with my consent.

I receive an overwhelmingly positive onslaught of "this assessment is bullshit! You SHOULD be angry." The autism lead tells my therapist I do likely have autism based on what was shown and told to her, and to get a second opinion (as she can't diagnose me without assessing me herself). I tell my therapist more about the assessment. She does some research.

The Psychometrist (someone who administers psychological tests/assessments) is underqualified during time of assessment.

Medical Negligence.

[Dr.] Is clearly on grounds to be tried for Medical Malpractice.

I am now working on submitting a complaint and finishing my paper.

I may potentially be involved in legal trouble against the psychologist I never even got to see or speak to.

Fuck that guy.

[scummy-writes]

2024 taglist

Aka i saw everyone updating their taglist and realized I should get clarifications too

Hello 👋 currently, my taglist consists of these folks, if I am up to date:

@yarnnerdally @katriniac @kissmetwicekissmedeadly @bakaneko-chan @skoetiepoetie @bestbryn @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @fang-and-feather @lokis-laugh

I wanted to get some more details on what all you guys would like to be tagged in, since my tags are sporadic and primarily only used for what I consider 'full fics' and 'actual requests'. But my mind is a hellscape and this means things that others might consider fanfics are not what I tag on.

So!

If you would like to be added to my taglist: DM me, send me an ask, comment on this post/my posts, etc to let me know.

But also, please let me know which of these you'd like to be tagged for:

Ikevamp or ikepri (or any exclusion of characters)

Anything and everything: this would include fanfics (example), drabbles (example), requests (examples), stationary/paper craft junk (example), letters (example), hc posts (example)

Fanfics/hc posts/drabbles/req only

Ofc thats not the only combos, but you get what I mean. Just let me know if there is anything specific you'd like to be tagged for or not, and don't be afraid to let me know if you want to be tagged for a specific fandom or not be tagged for a specific character.

Additionally, if you'd like me to tag you when I open up any type of requests or talk about opening comms again (they are still open), let me know if youd like to be alerted for that, too.

Thanks!

[merrybloomwrites]

Updates!

I finally updated my Masterlists! So much stuff was missing and I finally added it all. I also put what's coming soon and what date it will be posted. The pinned post on my profile has one link for all my Smosh works and one link for all my One Direction works

I was thinking of making taglists for all the oneshots and series I'll be posting starting August/September. Please comment or leave a message saying what stories you'd want to get alerts about! You can do all Smosh and/or One Direction stories, or you can choose just specific people. For Smosh I write Spencer, Ian, and Damien. For One Direction I write all of the boys individually, as well as Larry x Reader, and there's a whole 1D x reader fic in the works.

All the ficlets are just about ready! Which means I've started working on the longer stories. I'm super excited to start writing more in depth works. The ficlets are very fun, but I'm looking forward to getting deeper and writing more complex things. Once I have a fair amount ready I'll post a schedule, so keep an eye out for that in a couple weeks!

Thank you to all who read and like and comment on my stories! When I started posting last year I thought maybe 10 people would read my stuff, and I cannot believe that I have over 400 followers! I'm excited about what's coming soon, and I hope you will be too!

[studdyybudddyyy]

🫧 introduction 🫧

Hi!

Get to know me a little below <3

Name: Elif (random screenname I picked, similar enough to my actual name)

Pronouns: She/Elle

Age: Adult under 21

Languages: English (Standard, AAVE), French (Standard/Parisian)

Ethnicity/Religion/Etc: Black American (Northern Californian), Jewish (Ashki, Belarussian), Autistic, Bi

^I don't post about any of that here, but representation is important

Current Interests (I mostly post what's listed here):

Full-Stack Development, Linux, Python, C++, Cybersecurity, French & Russian (language study), Russian literature, Reading (generally), Poetry, Penmanship, Writing (Poetry), Fashion, Music (classical, instrumental, violin), and Shopping

Inactive Interests:

AC (New Horizons), The Sims 4, Hollow Knight, World of Warcraft, English literature, Cooking, Knitting, Sewing, and Violin (playing)

Tech/Apps/Sites I use & study with:

MacBook Air (Linux Mint 21.3 Cinnamon) and an iPad (iPadOS 16.2 + Apple Pen) .

GoodNotes, LibreOffice, Libby, Pinterest, and GoodReads.

Codecademy, FreeCodeCamp, LearnPython, Cybrary, LeetCode, Github, and KeyHero.

For my non-tech studies I mostly just read books.

DNI / Preferred boundaries

Not Welcome Here:

TERFs, SWERFs, RadFems, EDblr (Any/All), Discourse blogs, Anti-Voting, Anti-Union, AI fanatics/Cryptocurrency users, Cops, Zionists, Antisemites, Incels/Femcels, Eugenicists of any kind.

DO NOT ASSUME I'M A FAN OF [Shitty People] NOT LISTED

Welcome here:

Pretty much everyone else

Boundaries for Interaction:

You're welcome to interact however you'd like!

Everything posted here is open for commentary/discussion and you're also welcome to speak with me directly through asks/dm about whatever as long as it's related to this blog and/or something posted on it. This is an entirely SFW space and minors are welcome to interact, however, please remember that we & everyone else here are strangers and do not share personal information with me or others interacting on my page.

If you're an NSFW blog please switch to a SFW account/blog to interact at all. If you interact using your NSFW account/blog I will assume you're doing so intentionally or a bot and you'll be blocked.

Accessibility:

🫧 I do not post any flashing videos or images.

🫧 I do not post any NSFW content.

🫧 I do not post vent posts, post/reblog about other's personal traumas, or post/reblog about The News (unless said news directly relates to one of the things in my current interests list).

🫧 I do not repost any kind of chainmail, positive or negative.

🫧 I do not share or make any content related to generally triggering subjects, if you have specific and/or uncommon trigger(s) but still want to follow/interact with my blog please let me know and I'll tell you whether or not my blog is a safe space for you.

🫧 I do not pathologize/ridicule/joke about OCD, NPD, BPD, ASPD, Bipolar 1/2, Psychosis (with any root cause), or any other mental health conditions; If I've posted/reblogged something that does so please alert me.

🫐 I do use tone tags (If I miss one please let me know) when discussing thoughts/feelings/comments.

🫐 If I for some reason post/reblog something that is commonly triggering or discusses something you as a follower/mutual have let me know triggers you it will be tagged to the best of my ability.

🫐 I do add alt-text to all of the photos I post.

🫐 I do my best to avoid posting/reblogging screenreader unfriendly posts but If something I posted messed with your screenreader anyway please tell me so I can do my best to remedy it.

🫐 I do respect & honor everyones pronouns, gender identity, and sexual/romantic orientation regardless of whether I personally understand it.

🫐 I do respond to all asks/messages but I'm busy so it may take time.

I am trying my best <3

If you have any accessibility requests for this blog or even this post specifically, please let me know and I will genuinely consider updating to include it if I can.

[munsons-hellfire]

Other Information

AUTHOR'S NOTE: As you can see I decided to redo my masterlist, so with it I will be redoing other stuff as well and that'll be all here on one post and tagged into my masterlist. This will inculde rules, how to request, and how to be apart of tags, as well as fandoms I'm apart of and characters I'm currently writing for or want to write for.

RULES

Please be patient if you request a one-shot from me. Unless I don't want to write the request (which is a big if, and I'll most likely write it), I will try to get the request out as quick as I can. I update three days every other week (for right the time being) so it'll most likely be added to a schedule I have for updates.

I will not tolerate any kind of hate on my page. This is a safe place and I want it to stay like that especially when it comes to request. If you are rude in anyway shape or form, you will be blocked from my account.

This is and will be an 18+ account as I get further into my writing. So if you do not have your age in your bio you will be blocked. Please make sure that you read the ones only if they are safe to be read, and please keep an eye on the trigger warnings if there are any.

I do not give anyone permission to copy or translate any of my works. Likes and reblogs are very much appreciated.

I mostly write for character's that use she/her pronouns, however I try to keep the reader as gender neutral as I can unless it's an original character.

Most of my one-shots will not have a name used. However they might have certain nicknames depending on the love interest. If I give a name it'll be Y/N, and if it's an original character that'll be clear when posting the story.

If you are requesting, a form (which will be listed below) is optional when requesting depending on what you're resting. Just make sure to include a good amount of information when you request, because it'll be easier for me to further expand on the idea.

Lastly, any request is welcome, it can included fluff, angst, smut, or dark themes. Please keep in mind that there are certain themes that I don't know how to write so I will either try my best to write them or I won't write them at all.

REQUESTING

This is optional.

Fandom

Fluff, angst, smut, dark themes

Love interest

Plot

Extra info

CHARACTERS OR CELEBS I WILL WRITE FOR

Rhysand

Cassian

Azriel

Eris Vanserra

Lucien Vanserra

Helion

Feyre Archeron

Tamlin

Aaron Warner

Kenji Kishimoto

Eddie Munson

Steve Harrington

Steve Rogers

Natasha Romanoff

Loki Laufeyson

Carlisle Cullen

Kate Denali

Garrett

TAG LIST

If you wish to be apart of tags for a specific story you can let me know down below which story you'd like be added to the tag list or you can let me know in the comments of that story and I'll add you to the tag list.

FANDOMS I AM APART OF

Movies: Marvel, Horror, Transformers, Fast and Furious, The Lord of the Rings, The Hobbit, Harry Potter, Fantastic Beast and Where to Find Them, Fear Street, Scream, National Treasure, The Night at the Museum, Resident Evil, Pirates of the Caribbean, Bullet Train, 6 Underground, Knives Out, The Gray Man, Army of Thieves, Army of the Dead, The Twilight Saga, Jurassic Park, Jurassic World, San Andreas

TV Shows: Stranger Things, Supernatural, 9-1-1, 9-1-1 Lone Star, Grey's Anatomy, Outer Banks, The Umbrella Academy, Nancy Drew (The CW), The Walking Dead, Fear The Walking Dead, Friends, Bones, Will Trent, Alert: Missing Persons Unit, Criminal Minds, Moonlight, Hawaii Five-O, The Sandman, Fate: The Winx Saga, Santa Clarita Diet, Lucifer, Locke & Key, Slasher, Riverdale (Season 1-3), Scream (Season 1-2), The Haunting of Bly Manor, The Haunting of Hill House, The Boys, American Horror Story, The Last of Us

BOOKS I'LL WRITE FOR

A Court of Thorns and Roses

Shatter Me

A Good Girl's Guide to Murder (Eventually)

[lexosaurus]

Everything Was White – Part 8

part [1] / [7]

read on [ffn] / [ao3]

---

Something was pushing Danny awake. 

He turned his head away. Maybe if he wasn’t facing it, it would go away.

“Danny,” a soft voice whispered. He felt another gentle push. “Danny, it’s time to get up.”

He groaned and mumbled something incoherent.

“Come on, Danny. Wake up.”

That damn voice. It was familiar.

“Danny,” his mother said in a singsong voice as she nudged him again.

Ugh, his mom was waking him up. Which meant it was probably before his alarm was set to go off, which was so annoying and hadn’t he told her that he always set his alarms? Sure, sometimes he ignored them or outright slept through them, but he wasn’t so irresponsible that he would mess up on his first day of outpatient. 

“It’s time for your first day! You have to get up!”

His eyelids lifted only for sunlight to assault his retinas. He snapped his eyes back shut and grumbled, “Go without me.” 

He could feel his mother rolling her eyes.

“I can’t go without you, honey. Come on, didn’t you go to bed early last night? I’ll make you pancakes if you get up now.”

Right. He did go to bed early last night.

Why was he so damn tired then?

But then, as if his brain were waiting for that question, the memories from last night hit him all at once.

He had a nightmare. It was about being cut open, wasn’t it? And...something else. He couldn’t remember what it was fully about now, but he knew it was bad. Maybe it was that night. The one when Operative O visited him with the red bag.

The red bag.

Oh.

His eyes flew open and zeroed in on his nightstand where he knew he had shoved the bottle of oxycodone in last night. 

Right. No wonder he was fatigued. 

He should flush the pills now.

“Well, there you are! Welcome to Earth, Danny!” His mother joked, pinching his cheek.

He groaned and brushed her hand off his face, momentarily shoving the thought of the pills to the back of his mind. He couldn’t worry about that now with his mom in his room like this. She would get suspicious, and then she would figure him out, and then she would send him back to inpatient because he couldn’t last one day outside of the hospital without resorting to his own terrible methods of self-care.

“You need help getting ready at all? I can grab a shirt from your closet if you’d like?” 

“Uh…” He glanced over to his closet. Instinctively, he wanted to refuse the help. He wouldn’t be able to rely on his parents to help him reach for clothing on hangers forever, so he should just practice as much as he could now. 

But, oh man, he was so tired. 

“Actually...yeah,” he found himself saying. “Can you just grab me a—a long sleeve? It doesn’t matter which color.”

Maddie hummed and made her way over to the closet while Danny focused on dragging himself from his bed. His wheelchair was right there, right next to his bed. He had to wonder how the hell he missed it last night during his... debacle. 

Well, whatever. He wasn’t going to let that— any of that—happen again. So it didn’t matter.

“Is this alright?” Maddie held up a plain gray shirt.

“Yeah, thanks,” Danny responded, his gaze drifting back to the nightstand drawer.

He shook his head, forcing himself to look anywhere but there. He was acting too suspicious. He just needed to chill . It was fine. 

He needed to get his mother out of his room now.

“You need anything else? Want me to grab pants? Socks?” 

“No, it’s fine, I can get those.”

“Are you sure? I’m already up.”

“I got it.”

“Alright.” Maddie smiled. “I’ll get started on those pancakes, okay? Yell if you need anything.”

“Yeah. I will.”

She left, gently closing his door behind her.

His head dropped into his hands, and he sat there, trying to rub the fatigue from his vision. Damn, it had been a while since he felt this exhausted.

Okay, Danny, get it together.

He pulled open the drawer to see the orange bottle right there where he left it, its contents gleaming under the morning sun. This was it. Now all he had to do was sneak into the bathroom and dispose of the evidence in his toilet. If he did that, he wouldn’t have to worry about anyone finding this, he wouldn’t get sent back to inpatient, and everything would be okay again. 

Reaching down, his fingers brushed against the smooth plastic sides of the bottle. 

This was it.

Danny went to wrap his fingers around the container when suddenly a light rapping sounded from his door.

“Danny? You in there?” Jazz’s muffled voice said. “Are you decent?”

“Just a minute!” Danny ripped his hands from the bottle and hastily shut the drawer. “I’m changing!”

“You need any help?”

“Ew, Jazz. I’m not a toddler!”

“Alright, alright! Just making sure. I’ll see you downstairs.”

Danny didn’t respond, instead choosing to focus on the morning routine that he established at the hospital. And by the time he dragged himself into the passenger’s seat of the GAV and shut the door, he wanted nothing more than for this day to be over.

Maddie hopped into the driver’s seat. “Alright, Danny! First day in your new program!”

“Yeah.” Danny unlocked his phone and checked his new messages from Sam and Tucker. His text the previous night was inescapably cringy to read again, but thankfully, his two friends seemed too excited by the prospect of hanging out with him that day to care. 

“Are you excited?”

Danny glanced over at his mother, eyebrows raised.

“For your first day! This is a big step, you know.”

He felt his cheeks heat up and averted his gaze back down to his phone, shrugging. 

Who cared how big of a step it was? Danny didn’t, that was for sure.

It was only the first time Danny was going to be in public since the big reveal, since returning from the Guys in White and inpatient. It was only the first time he’d be confirming to the world that yes, Danny Phantom couldn’t fly and in fact he couldn’t walk either, and Danny Phantom also slept on a concussion and was going into a building where there would be new people and he really just wanted to crawl into bed and never get up again.

“Are you nervous, honey?”

Everyone was going to know who he was. Not that everyone didn’t know who he was in the hospital, but this was different. This was a smaller group; it was more intimate. The hospital was just for stability, just enough to get him to a point where he didn’t feel like he was losing his mind anymore, but this was where the real work started. 

Was he ready for this?

“No.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it’s whatever. Same thing, just new people.” 

Maddie made no move to continue the conversation, so Danny took this opportunity to lean against the window, pressing his forehead against the cool glass. A car passed by him, and he saw a young child in the backseat. Her blonde hair was tied up into pigtails with two bright pink scrunchies, which bounced excitedly along with her rapidly moving mouth. Danny couldn’t make out what she was saying, but he watched as her mother broke out into a proud smile in the driver’s seat.

He closed his eyes. All these strangers around him were living out their lives, forming happy memories with their loved ones. 

He felt nauseous.

Thankfully, Maddie didn’t try to initiate conversation for the rest of the drive. 

The trek to the PHP was nothing like the short drive to school. Casper was under a twenty-minute walk from Danny’s house. It was a perfect location, just far enough away to escape the constant embarrassment of his parents’ gaudy experiments while close enough to be within a comfortable walking distance.

But this program was too far away to walk to. It was past the residential areas of Amity Park, past the shopping centers and restaurants, past the movie theater that still had a sign out for Dead Teacher Five. It was beyond Danny’s usual bubble of Amity Park, past what he knew to be home.

The car finally stopped at an office complex. He peeled his head away from the window and glanced over to see Maddie studying her phone.

“Yup, this is it. It should be on the third floor. They told me there was an elevator inside.” She pocketed her phone and unbuckled her seat belt. “Stay here, I’ll grab your chair.”

Danny looked back at the building. It seemed normal , nothing like the inpatient facility. There were no medical signs outside the building, no children’s play center and fenced-in field, no disabled schools on the property. It seemed like a normal brick office building.

Maddie opened his door, and he gingerly slipped from his seat to the chair. The distance from the GAV to his chair was far too large, and Danny was just thankful he’d managed to avoid falling face-first onto the pavement. 

The visual loudness of the GAV had always been a sore point for Danny’s perpetual teenage humiliation, but today it felt especially unbearable. He could only hope the ground would open up and swallow him whole before anyone noticed them.

“I think the ramp entrance is on the side of the building.”

Danny frowned, looking at the front door. His first instinct was to insist that it was only a few steps between the main entrance and the pavement, that he could do it. Don’t worry, he wasn’t that bad at walking.

But that would mean his mom would have to help him and who knows what would happen then. What if someone saw him? What if someone took a video of him and posted it online? The news would spread it like wildfire, and then soon everyone would get to see Phantom struggling through a door. It would be trending in an hour. 

“Okay, let’s do the ramp.”

The interior of the building was small and plain. Reading over the office list next to the elevator, Danny saw nothing out of the ordinary. On the first floor was a financial consulting office, a construction management company on the second, and on the third floor in blue letters were the words “Kaufman Health Center.” 

The elevator door swung open with a ding, and—with some help from his mom—Danny maneuvered himself inside.

This was it. No turning back.

Not that he had a choice.

Danny tried to focus on his breathing. He was fine, this was fine. It didn’t matter that by the time he got home today, the entire internet would have leaked pictures and information detailing his recovery. What, did he think he was really entitled to privacy? Of course this wasn’t going to last.

He refused to acknowledge the sound of the elevator door opening up once again, but his mother pushed him out of the doors anyway. He hated it. He hated how his hands automatically took over and moved him to the door, hated how easily he pressed the accessible button next to the door, and he hated how little effort it took him to wheel himself into the lobby of the health center.

This wasn’t what he planned his life to become. He wasn’t supposed to be here. He was supposed to be at school right now, messing around with Sam and Tucker, maybe texting during class, planning their next movie night or talking about how cheesy last week’s film was. He was supposed to be pretending Phantom and he were separate entities and that Fenton was nothing more than some random geek.

He wasn’t supposed to be here.

And yet…

Danny peered up to see another teen gawking at him from across the lobby. He and Danny locked eyes, and the other teen jolted out of his trance as if he’d been slapped, his head hurriedly swiveling away as he shoved his hands into his hoodie pockets.

Danny glared down at his lap, his face burning. From the corner of his vision, he could see the teen move out of the lobby, but Danny couldn’t look back up at him. Was it shame? Embarrassment? The weight of his failures? 

It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.

He was here. He was really here. It was a real place with real people and real problems, and he was now a part of it.

Maddie went over to the front desk and talked to the bubbly voice behind the counter, but Danny wasn’t listening to what they were saying. He refused to. It was just…

How did he end up here?

Another teen crossed in front of him, and Danny could feel the stares. But there was nothing he could do. Everyone was going to know now...everyone…

He pushed himself over to the wall near the couches. Maybe if he was out of the center of the room, he would be invisible again, just like he used to be as only Fenton. Maybe if he kept his head down and held his breath, nobody would notice him. 

Maddie sat down in the empty chair next to him, her hand armed with a clipboard full of paperwork. Danny knew she had noticed his tense behavior—she had to—but thankfully, she didn’t say anything.

Danny watched her fill out his paperwork, making notes in the “medical history” section of the paperwork with the practice of someone who had been writing it for years.

How many nights had she spent, then, reading his reports over and over again until they were burned into her memory? How often did she open his files, checking and double checking every detail until she was cross-eyed? How often did Jack have to tug the files out of her hands so she could go to sleep?

Maddie deserved better. She shouldn’t have had to be dealing with him, worrying about him like this, taking him to the doctors and therapists every day. She shouldn’t have had to worry about the media hounding her, or her stupid half-ghost son who stupidly got revealed on national television.

No, she deserved so much better.

“Maddie? Maddie Fenton?” 

Danny flinched, the voice shocking him from his pity party. He looked up to see a short woman in a park cardigan appear from the hallway. She strode across the blue carpet, her hand extended out in front of her.

Maddie stood and shook the woman’s hand. “Hello. Yu-Jin, is it?”

“That’s right.” She nodded, a bright smile decorating her face. “We spoke on the phone a few days ago, but it’s nice to formally meet you.”

“Yes,” Maddie said. She turned to Danny, placing her hand on his shoulder.

It felt heavy.

“This is my son, Danny.”

“Uh…” Danny’s hands fidgeted on his lap. Was this woman expecting a handshake? She hadn’t made any movements to get one, so did that mean she didn’t want to touch him? Or maybe she wasn’t allowed to since he was a minor? Was he being rude by not even offering a handshake?

Oh god, was he messing this whole thing up before it could even begin?

She gave him a short wave. “Hello, Danny. It’s nice to meet you. I’m the head therapist for your group, and I look forward to working with you the next few weeks.” 

“Hi…” 

God, he was so embarrassing. This was the first person he had met outside of the hospital who knew he was Phantom and he was just going to act like this? Completely incompetent? He might as well be back in the government compound, then.

“I understand this is a difficult transition, Danny,” she continued. “I hope we can help make this process a little easier for you. Everyone here is very kind, and I think this place will be a good fit for you.”

“I think it will too,” Maddie said.

Danny picked at his cuticles. He wasn’t so sure.

This woman seemed nice but she wasn’t... her. The therapist from the other place. Danny combed through his brain for a name, but came up blank. 

Surely he would have gotten her name though, right? It might’ve been on a piece of paper somewhere? But Danny knew, deep down inside, that he never wrote down her name during his stay and wouldn’t be able to remember it. Not now, not tomorrow, not next week. It was simply gone from his memory.

The new therapist—Danny had already forgotten her name too—chattered on with Maddie about...Danny didn’t know what. He’d stopped listening. His mind was already drifting to other places.

He wondered if the redhead from inpatient was doing alright. He was too nice of a person to be in this situation. Danny couldn’t remember his name either...

“—and Danny?”

Danny’s head snapped back into focus. He blinked, surveying the quiet lobby before his eyes landed on the new therapist.

Oh, right. He was at the new building with the new people and the new schedule.

He was too tired to be here.

“Yeah?” 

“I told your mother this over the phone, but it’s important I let you know as well that we can provide any accommodations you may need during your time with us. So please don’t be shy if you need any help with anything from us.”

Danny felt his eyebrows scrunch. Just what in the world was she talking about? Accommodations?

...oh. 

“I—I don’t have...I’m human, I swear,” Danny stammered. “I, uh, I mean I’m not, but—but—it’s not—I’m not—”

“Oh heavens, no! My apologies. I should have been clearer. I was referring to disability accommodations. We build our therapies and activities to be done by anyone regardless of mobility, but occasionally, we may have to make slight adjustments for you. Don’t be afraid to speak up about anything, alright?”

“Okay.” Danny hoped his face hid his confusion.

She turned back to Maddie. “I’ll let you finish the paperwork up. Please feel free to ask Sharon any questions you may have. We keep copies of the schedule at the front desk if you would prefer a printed version. Danny, would you like to come with me? I’ll show you to our room.”

“Yeah.” His eyes flickered back up to his mother. Despite her calm expression before, now her face was pinched, her smile strained.

“See you later?” He didn’t mean for his voice to come out like a question, and he mentally kicked himself for doing so.

“Goodbye, Danny. I’ll see you for pickup, okay?” Maddie said. 

Danny undid the brakes on his chair. “Bye, Mom.”

“Don’t forget we’re going straight to PT after.”

“Alright, I know.”

“I’ll bring you a snack to eat on the way. Okay?” 

“Sure.”

“Would you rather a granola bar or a banana? I can bring both if you’d—”

“Banana.” Danny said, the words slipping out of his mouth with a speed that surprised even himself. He swallowed. “Banana’s good.”

“Alright, sweetie. Have a good day.”

Danny turned so he wouldn’t have to see his mother’s misting eyes. “Yeah. You too.”

“Okay, Danny?” the therapist said, waving him forward. “Come with me.”

Every eye in the room was on him. 

Danny knew that this would happen. Ultimately, he was Phantom, whether he wanted to be right now or not.

But even then, every eye in the room was on him.

He hesitated, unsure if he should proceed deeper into the room or not. On one hand, he could act like he didn’t notice anything strange and go over to the small group of teens sitting at the table. On the other hand, he could say something. Introduce himself. Maybe if he spoke, people would snap out of it.

But at the moment, all he could do was stare back.

Maybe one of the teens would realize what they were doing and look away. Maybe one of them would speak first. Or maybe—

The door burst open with a loud, “Sorry I’m late, I—oh! Uh, hi.”

Danny blinked, staring back at the teen in front of him. She was tall, with thick blonde curls tied up in a ponytail. She stood in front of him, looking as if she had just run a mile. 

“Uh…” Danny froze, unsure of what to do. He could wave, but that might’ve been weird. He should just talk, but he was pretty sure if he tried that, his voice would choke up.

Thankfully, he was saved from responding by the therapist entering the room. “Jessica, good to see you! Don’t forget to fill out the morning check-in sheet. Danny, you too. We fill these out each morning to establish a baseline for how we’re doing before our morning meeting.”

Danny followed the blonde girl to the table—making sure to sit at the corner, as far away from the other teens as possible—and grabbed a piece of paper. It was a simple questionnaire, and it seemed easy enough to do. 

But everyone was still staring at him. 

Why was he like a zoo animal on display?

Phantom was such a fascinating subject, isn’t that what he’d been told before his reveal? How fascinating he was as a ghost because he was just so different from the other ghosts? He remembered reading all the theories back then and laughing about them because he thought that nobody would ever get to the truth. 

There were subreddits about him, countless usernames analyzing his fights and trying to pick apart what exactly made him so special. What made Phantom so powerful? Why did he do the things that he did?

The truth was far less glamorous than the theorists anticipated. As it turned out, Phantom was just some weird mutant half-breed. That was all.

‘How did you sleep last night?’ the check-in sheet asked.

What would it matter if he didn’t sleep well? It wasn’t like he ever slept before the reveal, and no one seemed to care. Why was it different now—because he was suddenly fascinating as a human too?

Danny felt the back of his neck itch, and he wondered if he’d be able to dig his pen into his neck and remove the ecto-suppressing chip himself. After all, what was a little more nerve damage to him?

‘Did you shower this morning?’ 

Danny didn’t even want to think about that. The stupid bench. It shouldn’t have felt any different from when he was in inpatient, but for some reason, it did. Maybe he thought that everything would suddenly go back to normal once he got home. Maybe that was what he wanted to happen.

But it didn’t.

And people were still glancing at him.

“Fascinating…” The operative studied the device hovering over his chest. “Your core has nestled itself right next to your heart, right in the center of your chest. It should be restricting your lung, theoretically, but its small size combined with your lesser need for oxygen makes the whole system work seamlessly. Truly fascinating anatomy…”

That particular operative hadn’t hurt him—not physically—but something about the way he was speaking made Danny feel sick nonetheless. At the time, Danny had chalked it up due to the fact that he was the Guys in White’s latest little test subject for what he assumed was the rest of his life. 

But now that he was home, now that he was here under the stares of these new strange teens, he realized that maybe there was more to it than that.

Maybe, just maybe, Danny didn’t want to be fascinating to everyone else. Maybe he just wanted to fucking exist in peace. Maybe he didn’t want to be here.

Maybe he could still get his old life back.

The chair across from him moved, and Danny looked up to see the therapist sit down, clipboard in hand.

“Good morning, everyone.” The therapist beamed at the group. “We’ll begin our morning meeting in just a second. First, I’m sure you all have noticed, but we have a new peer joining us today. Why don’t we go around the circle and introduce ourselves so we’re all acquainted before we do anything else. Alright? I’ll go first.”

Danny wanted to point out that she’d already introduced herself, but then he remembered that he couldn’t remember her name and didn’t she read his file and already know that this was a waste of time because there was no way in hell his stupid brain would be able to memorize all these names?

But he bit his tongue.

“I’m Yu-Jin, and I’m the lead therapist for this group. I’ve been here for eight years, and I’m very happy to be working with you all.” She turned to the blonde girl. “Would you like to go next?”

The blonde girl gave Danny a quick wave. “I’m Jessica. I’m sixteen and I go to Brickstone High. Nice to meet you.”

“I’m Mark,” said the boy next to her. He was tall, broad, and if not for the brown hair, could have easily resembled Dash Baxter. “Seventeen, and I go to Central High.”

A timid voice came next. “Maria. I’m seventeen.”

“Hey, I’m Arabelle,” a girl with teal hair styled into a pixie cut said. Her gaze flickered over to Danny once before remaining pointedly fixed on the therapist. “I’m fifteen and I’m from Elmerton.”

Danny took stock of the other teens. They didn’t seem like they despised his existence, at least. So maybe it could have been worse.

But the discomfort that was radiating off of each of them was palpable. Their eyes either didn’t leave Danny or avoided him like the plague. It was as if he were a feral beast poised to attack if a single foot stepped out of line.

Maybe you are a cornered animal, Fenturd. Isn’t that how Dash treated you? In the locker room that day?

“Danny? Would you like to introduce yourself?” the therapist asked, her voice cutting through his brain like a hot knife.

Danny surveyed the room one last time. If he did open his mouth and speak, then everyone would know how much he’d lost over the past months. Everyone would hear him, and any dignity he had left would evaporate in an instant.

But what choice did he have? If he didn’t speak, he would be sent back to inpatient, and he would never be able to return to Casper High.

This was so humiliating.

“Hi.” Danny paused. That was right! If he just focused on saying small words, he might be able to get through this intact. He could do this, he just had to be as direct as he could.

“I’m Danny.”

And just like that, everyone’s eyes had zeroed in on him. 

Should he continue? Was it even worth it? Everyone here already knew who he was. They’d likely seen all the news footage of his disappearance, they probably knew about the court case, they’d probably seen photos and videos of his parents and sister and maybe even his classmates and old teachers too.

But if he didn’t continue with the introduction, would people just think he was being rude? Would they assume him to be some raging narcissist? 

His head turned down to his lap where he watched his fingers twist together. He wished he had that stress ball right now, the one from inpatient. It would be so much better to have something like that in here.

“I’m sixteen.”

There. That was bound to suffice for his introduction. It was short, it was to the point, and it got out everything that this group would need to know about him for the rest of the day. 

When was this program going to end?

“Welcome, Danny,” said the therapist. “We are happy to have you in this group, and we hope you feel comfortable here as well.”

He hoped he gave her a weak smile at the very least, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it looked like a grimace.

“Alright, let’s get started on our morning check-in discussion. Just a reminder to everyone that everything said here is confidential; it stays between us,” the therapist said. “So for the morning check-in, we’re just going to read off of our sheets so we can see how we’re all doing today.”

Danny’s brain short-circuited. He glanced over to his questionnaire, and it seemed to be positively glowing under the bright ceiling lights. 

No. No way. They were going to make him share this? Just in front of everyone?

They couldn’t.

He looked up to see the blonde girl holding her sheet up in front of her. She was moving her lips, her face looking passive, bored. 

Danny dug his fingernails into his palms. He didn’t understand why this surprised him at all. They all had to share personal details in inpatient, didn’t they? It wasn’t like any of this was new to him, so why did it feel so different?

Because it was different now. Before, he was confined in a space with teens, most of whom were taken straight from the hospital. They couldn’t leave, they had no one to gossip with aside from their therapists, and everyone was too busy getting used to their new medications to worry about each other.

But here? The teens here would go home at the end of the day. They would tell their parents that they were in a group with Danny Phantom and they might talk about him and even if the therapist said this was all confidential, was it really? He wasn’t stupid, he knew people would talk. He was a news topic, a national event, a celebrity.

He was Danny Phantom. 

Or...he was.

He tried to grasp at his core, but it was still too dull and muted and he couldn’t feel it like he used to. His body wasn’t what it should’ve been. He was trapped in this faux-human bubble, and he needed to escape it.

Back in freshman year of high school, Danny had so desperately wanted to be popular. He wanted to be loved and respected by his peers, he wanted their acceptance. He remembered trying so hard to fit in. He tried buying the right clothes and going after the right girls and listening to the right music in the fleeting hope that maybe somebody would give him the attention he so craved.

If Danny had a time machine now, he would go back to that time, punch himself in the face, and yell at him to give up because you don’t want the attention, you don’t want it like this!

They said the grass was always greener on the other side, and Danny had never understood what that meant until now. He had the attention he wanted, but it cost him everything. 

He wouldn’t be able to fit in here, not with him out as Danny Phantom. Not after everything that happened. Not after the Guys in White, the broken bones, the damaged nerve system, the memory and speech issues, the loss of everything that kept him whole.

This fame wasn’t worth it.

He was so stupid.

Being an invisible loser sucked, but at least he could still be Phantom when he wanted to be. Now the roles were reversed and Fenton just... sucked. 

“Danny?”

Danny jolted up to see everyone—once again—staring at him. 

What now?

“Would you like to share your check-in sheet with us?” The therapist nodded encouragingly.

Danny obediently picked up his paper. “Today I’m...I…” He felt his face grow red. He would take another day hooked up to the Guys in White’s ectoplasm machine to this. “I’m feeling okay. I—uh, I didn’t shower this morning. I took my...um…I—I took...I took...”

The sheet slipped through his fingers and fell onto his lap. He made no effort to pick it up again.

He kept his head low, his lips parted slightly, trying to form words that wouldn’t come out. He felt his eyes sting, and he forced the tears back because he was not crying right now, he refused to be like this in front of all these strange teens and he was not crying, damn it.

This sucked. He sucked. He wished he could skip this part of the day and go to PT. At least then he would be up and moving, focusing on strengthening his body, focusing on actually getting better instead of whatever this bullshit was.

He couldn’t do this.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, even if he really wasn’t sorry at all. He was pissed and his chest hurt and he was sick of sitting all the time and he wanted to leave.

“It’s alright, Danny,” the therapist said. “No one said this was going to be easy. Would you like to try again?”

He shook his head. He knew he wouldn’t be able to. He just couldn’t do this. 

“That’s okay. Can everyone hand me their check-in sheets?”

But Danny didn’t want to pick up his questionnaire again because that would mean he would have to give it to her, this woman that he didn’t know and then she would have it and he couldn’t do that because then she would wonder what the hell was the big deal why Danny didn’t want to share his check-in sheet like everyone else did no problem and she was going to contact his parents and what if she shared his sheet with anyone else what was going to happen then?

“Danny, can I have your paper?”

Danny ripped the sheet of paper off his lap and thrust it out to her like it was a venomous snake.

“Thank you,” she said.

Danny refused to look at her face.

Who knew the great Danny Phantom would be defeated by a piece of paper?

He couldn’t imagine how he looked, head low, shoulders hunched, his movements stiff and uncoordinated. It was no wonder why everyone was staring at him. 

Really, Daniel, Vlad would say. You can’t act like that and expect people not to notice.

Danny’s arm twitched, and it took everything in his power to refrain from pulling his hair out of his skull. 

He didn’t want to be here. He didn’t want to be around all these people. He didn’t want to have to pour out his feelings in front of these strangers.

Where the hell was Desiree when he needed her? He wanted everything to go back to the way it was. He couldn’t do this, he couldn’t be here, and if this was going to be the rest of his life, then he didn’t want it anymore.

---

<previous chapter / next chapter>

Sorry to those who thought this fic was abandoned! It’s not, it just took me too long to figure out how to write this chapter. But in doing so, I actually have the first draft of most of the next chapter written. So that’s good!

As always, a hugeee thank you to @imekitty for not only beta-ing this chapter, but helping me sort through the mess of thoughts that was the first drafts. Additionally, thank you so so much to @prydoniantrash for helping me with the PHP details! 

Thanks for reading!

[amaya-chwan]

Takeaways from Therapy Game Restart 14 + Illustration Book Release Date

Hello again everyone! ❤️💛💜

It's finally here... chapter 14! In all its glory! 😍🥰✨

Before we get to our takeaways, just some news I missed in the last post!

🎉 SENSEI'S ILLUSTRATION BOOK WILL BE RELEASED AROUND THURSDAY, 23RD SEPTEMBER! 🎉

Image taken from this Twitter post from Dear+!

It is titled "日ノ原巡イラスト集　DARLING" and boasts a collection of illustrations from Sensei's works so far: Secret XXX, Therapy Game, and Kamisama no Uroko.

The current price is ¥2970 with tax (¥2700 without tax). If you'd like to preorder it on your proxy shopping service, I've found it on the Comi Comi Studios website here! The bonus for purchasing it on this website is a B5 clear file~ I haven't seen it on Animate just yet, so fingers crossed it'll appear on their website soon with another (different) bonus! ❤️💛

Alright, with this amazing news done, let's move onto our takeaways, the long awaited takeaways! Thank you for being so patient with me! 💜

My short life update: currently in week 8 of lockdown and I haven't left my house in a long time other than for exercise or groceries. But I do have my vaccination appointment booked so YAY! 🎉

Here are our takeaways for this chapter:

Oh man, we pick right up from the last page of chapter 13. MINATO, BB, YOU LOOK SO PAINED! 😭

Sensei is the BIGGEST tease... that's all we got of that Minato and Shizuma scene...👀😭

The female staff at the veterinary hospital have really mellowed out! They're not bad, after all. ☺️

Oh dear, Nakajou-sensei, please get better ASAP!

Whoa... did Onodera just...?? I'm starting to think back to that Onodera discussion we had a couple of months ago... 🤔

Poor Shizuma, always roped into Onodera's workplace stuff! IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE GREAT PEOPLE SKILLS, SHIZUMA! PROUD OF YOU! 😍🙌

Man, Onodera has a really... blunt way of saying things to her human clients. Wow, brave. 😲

But I will say, Onodera really is good with animals. 🙌

Yet again, I think about that Onodera discussion we had... 🤔🤔

And that’s it for this chapter’s takeaways! For a more detailed breakdown/summary of this chapter, please continue after the cut! There may or may not be a surprise scene (or two) there. Please keep reading if you want to see~  😉✨

Our chapter begins where we left off in chapter 13--Minato pinning Shizuma down on the bed. Shizuma looks up at Minato and reflects on his actions that caused the pained look he is seeing.

Image taken from this Dear+ Twitter post!

On the next page (title page), the dialogue reads: Shizuma wants to understand what it is about his director (Onodera) that is making Minato uneasy. // However, that beautiful liar hides it well...

(I believe we are taken back to the morning before Shizuma and Minato meet up for their date.)

The title page features Onodera walking back to the clinic, bread in hand, with a cat cozying up on her leg. We are then brought to the clinic's lunchroom, with the female staff and Shizuma on break. The roster in the room shows that Onodera is extremely busy, Nakajou-sensei has afternoon house call appointments, Tatsumi is Nakajou-sensei's support for these appointments, and Shizuma has a half day and finishes in the afternoon in lieu of working on his scheduled day off.

Shizuma asks his coworkers what presents they like from their partners and takes note of their answers. One of the female nurses asks if it's Minato's birthday. Shizuma confesses that their relationship has been affected by the various things happening lately, so he wants to get Minato a gift before seeing him later that day.

The nurses quickly pick up that the gift is a "tribute" of sorts as this line of work means a lot of missed appointments and dates, and Shizuma confirms their suspicions. While the nurses realise male-male relationships and male-female relationships aren't that different in this aspect, everyone in the lunchroom is alerted to someone shouting Nakajou-sensei's name.

Shizuma and a nurse see Tatsumi with Nakajou-sensei, who has collapsed on the floor. While the staff are concerned about Nakajou's well-being, she brushes it off as a dizzy spell. Before they can help her up, Onodera sweeps her off her feet and carries Nakajou to her (Onodera's) office. While Nakajou asks Onodera to put her down out of sheer embarrassment, Shizuma and Tatsumi are in shock, with Tatsumi commenting on Onodera's manliness in that moment. One of the other nurses gently smacks Shizuma's shoulder and tells the two to grab a blanket and a drink for Nakajou.

In her office, Onodera asks Nakajou why she's been overworking herself to the point of collapsing. The nurse (who gave the gentle smack) very obviously hints to Onodera that it is her fault. As Nakajou calms the nurse by saying that's just how the director is, Tatsumi asks Nakajou about their afternoon appointments. She says she'll be fine to go after a little rest, but the nurse says she mustn't overexert herself.

After a few back and forths about who should go and the clients' needs/personality (picky about the vet, had a pet that doesn't like men, etc), Onodera says she will go. The nurses are shocked and reminisce about all the issues they've had when Onodera interacts with the owners. Tatsumi and Shizuma stand there, and can very clearly imagine those situations happening.

While Onodera rearranges and informs the nurses of the shift changes to accommodate Nakajou-sensei, Shizuma has a terrible premonition that unfortunately comes true: he is appointed as Onodera's support for the afternoon house calls.

Wearing a sulky expression, Shizuma packs the necessary equipment in Onodera's car and reminds her that he has a very important engagement that night that he cannot miss, and as such will leave immediately after the house call appointments are done. Onodera bursts his bubble, and tells him to give up on those plans while he can since this is the line of work he's chosen.

As Shizuma reads the client files, he questions Onodera on why he is her support when he's never attended to these clients before. While Onodera tells him that good coordination is important with a physician's support and that he's the only one she can rely on to give her an honest opinion and calm the clients, Shizuma realises that he's basically the mediator between her and the owners. She confirms that this is his strong point, has great expectations for him, and proceeds to drive. Shizuma then reads the patient files at lightning speed, realising there's a threatening 'something' that Minato has sensed, but that's just how the director is. He then vows to make it to their meeting tonight, no matter what.

The first three house calls, as expected, involve Onodera insulting and angering the owners--Onodera tells the first client that his insistence on seeing Nakajou rather than a 'young' director is having a negative effect on his pet who needs immediate medical care; Onodera offends the second client, inferring from their conversation that her pet's appearance is more important than the need to shave their fur and get an ultrasound done; Onodera accuses the third client of being irresponsible in caring for his exotic animals and asks for more effort on his part. In all three scenarios, Shizuma awkwardly smiles while trying to ease the tension.

The scene skips to Onodera and Shizuma arriving at their fourth and final house call for the day. Just as Onodera explains to Shizuma that she must check a whole host of things at house calls (and indirectly be too blunt about it with the owners), Shizuma asks her to consider the owner's feelings and change when and how she says things. She glares ahead in silence, and Shizuma is just glad that she is now aware of it. He again reminds her to talk with the owner nicely and gently as he probably won't be able to help with the next client as their pet dislikes men. Onodera tells him to just sit in the corner and witness the client become furious while he doesn't help, making him feel slightly guilty for saying that. He is now adament on not helping her.

They reach the owner's home and we meet an elderly woman named Shiratori and her 9-year-old male cat, Tono. Shiratori apologises to Shizuma as her cat doesn't like men. Tono hisses at them as Onodera opens his cage, but is then coaxed into submission by Onodera who covers his vision with a towel and takes him into her lap to calm down. Shiratori and Shizuma are surprised at his sudden docile nature, with Shizuma witnessing how well she deals with animals.

As Shizuma looks on at Onodera while she completes a check on Tono, he sees she is crumbling at the friendliness and talkative nature of Shiratori, who sings nothing but praise for Onodera and how her family must be proud to have such an amazing daughter. Aiming to ease her troubles and remembering the earlier guilt-trip she gave him, he redirects Shiratori's attention to her broken fly screen and offers to fix that plus everything else that needs repair in her home.

Onodera watches as the two leave the room for a bit before apologising to Tono for ignoring him. Tono looks on at Onodera happily while she asks him how he can live with such a lively human and to tell her his secret to this. She brings him into her arms once more to check his limbs, and as Tono looks up smiling at Onodera, Onodera sees her reflection in Tono's eyes, and both seem to realise something.

BG Text: Stare...

Suddenly, Shizuma and Shiratori, who are busy fixing the window, hear a loud crash and rush into the room to find Tono atop the cabinet and Onodera on the floor, with her hair in disarray. In the next panel, Tono is shown to be hiding in the bookshelf, looking on irritatingly at the humans. Shiratori apologises to Onodera, who shakes it off and says it's nothing to worry about and no harm's been done.

Shiratori asks if Onodera will fix/tie her hair up again, but when Onodera says her hair tie was broken when Tono used her as a launchpad to get on the cabinet, Shiratori runs to get her a new one. As Shiratori gushes over the 3 piece dopey looking character hair tie set she received as a present from her grandchild (and lets Onodera pick one), a greatly displeased look is plastered on Onodera's face. Shizuma, in shock, notices her displeasure and hopes she just thanks Shiratori for it. And Onodera does, bringing a great big smile to Shiratori's face.

As Onodera and Shizuma leave, Shiratori says she's glad to have talked with Onodera and invites her to come over again. As she says this, we see Onodera looking back with a blank look in her eyes.

And that’s it for this chapter! THANK YOU FOR READING THIS FAR! 💜 While I was surprised at the lack of Minato in this chapter (Sensei legit is such a tease, LOL 🤣), I'm happy we can learn more about Onodera. Ngl, I'm starting to really question if Onodera is male or female now, given what transpired in this chapter. I guess we shall see in the next one!

I also changed the formatting a bit and removed the bullet points. Please let me know which format is better/easier to read! Ahah!

EDIT: Spelling and grammar checks are done! Didn't change a lot, but hope it reads better! 💜

📢 As always, please support Hinohara-sensei by purchasing her books and CDs! 📢

And please also refrain from resharing these translations and images outside of this post! Thank you for understanding! ❤️💛

There won't be a chapter in next month's (September release) Dear+, so I shall see you in two months for the next chapter (Dear+ November Issue, to be released in October).

As always, stay safe during these turbulent times and look out for each other and for your loved ones! 💜❤️💛