#coming up with 4 sexy arm positions was difficult lol

[cafenervosa]

Loser, Baby - A cover for my Angel Dust playlist 💕

[ID in alt text]

[timextoxhajima]

Playlist Feels

Member: L E E J U Y E O N

Genre: idk anymore, jealous boyfriend juyeon, fluff?? idk idk idk intense staring idk idk can you feel my breakdown through this LOL :D (i WILL cry writing this)

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: there was absolutely NO WAY i could’ve gone to sleep knowing i just spent the last 4 posts going off about juyeon because it’s virtually impossible to ignore the fact that he’s a REAL person living in the SAME era as us like, aren’t we the luckiest people in the world UGH

p.s: requested? NOPE. 

“down for your love”

“난 늘 목말라 babe”

(this line literally translates to: I’m always thirsty babe)

(i did NOT know what this song was about until i searched up the lyrics I DID NOT EXPECT THIS TURN OF EVENTS LOLOLOL)

you hear the music begin in the earpiece stuck in your left ear. your head naturally jerks on beat and shifts along with the melody, your dance partner dragging his finger along your arm and leans into your ear. 

the crowd cheers and ‘hoots’ at the start, and you could hear jacob and kevin’s excessive screaming at the sight. 

you wanted to smile and bask in the attention, but the music blasting in your earpiece stops you and your muscle memory takes over. 

you’ve been preparing for this stage for so long; for the past three months in fact. you were in the school’s dance crew which was split into a dance-cover half and a self-producing half. 

your dance partner snakes his arm around your waist, turning you around and stroking your hair ever so gently. your gaze was sharp as your laid your eyes on his jawline and you caress his neck.

“sexy mama!” you hear kevin yell at the top of his voice as you turn around and allow the music to guide your body across the stage with your dance partner’s hands still all over you. 

other students were beginning to gather around, and the sudden realisation that you were performing in front of a potentially large audience of university students was so difficult to believe for some strange reason. 

what you don’t notice though, was your boyfriend being exceptionally quiet. he and his crew were standing at the base of the stage that was set up in the middle of the concourse. despite jacob, kevin and the other boys hyping the hell out of your performance, his lips were sealed shut and he stood still like a statue.

lee juyeon was fuming.

“yah hyung, it’s just a performance,” eric runs over to juyeon and pouts, hugging his torso. he finds it difficult to perform the act of affection when juyeon has his arms crossed extremely tight across his chest. 

but you were immersed in your own world on stage. 

while your boyfriend was in the self-producing half of the dance crew alongside your best friends kevin and jacob, you were stuck in the dance-cover part because it was undeniable that the 11 boys were all too talented to be in the same half as you. 

this was your first performance as part of the large dance crew, so everybody knew very well how much effort you’ve invested in it, how much time you’ve spent in the practise room with your dance partner. 

all you wanted to do was to show your best and deliver a performance you’ve worked so hard for, not caring about the extent of intimacy the performance was supposed to display. if you wanted to show a great performance, then acting and professionalism were the two key ingredients. 

that was what juyeon told you anyway. 

the music finally comes to an end, and you finish by wrapping your arms around hyunjun, allowing him to completely hide you from the audience standing at the the bottom of the stage. 

the other members of your crew and the boys erupt in loud cheers, signalling for you and hyunjun to turn and bow to the audience. you run off stage and watch as the boys head onto stage from the other side.

you were so excited to watch juyeon perform, because the last time you watched him dance, it was like walking into a whole new dimension. it was so difficult to choose only one member of his crew to watch because all they did was enhance each other’s abilities and talents. 

hyunjun grabs you a chair and a bottle, opening one for himself as he stands next to you. working on that intimate dance cover not only brought the two of you closer, but it made you feel like you gained a new best friend. 

naturally, you shift yourself so your butt only occupied half the space of the seat, and you pat on the empty half, inviting hyunjun to share the space with you. he looks at you with wide, questioning eyes, before you grab his arm and pull him down, forcing him to seat half his butt on it too. 

you watch carefully as the 11 boys on stage get into position, and you feel a surge of overwhelming pride when you see a ton of girls start to gather around. phones and cameras were out and about, and you catch a glimpse of a few girls focusing their views on your boyfriend. 

you smile widely, and hyunjun elbows you in the side.

“i know you’re proud but you don’t have to make it so obvious,” he teased, trying to stifle a laugh as he raised a brow at you. you pout playfully, elbowing him a little harder. 

the song starts and juyeon’s head jerks along with the starting beats. usually he’d be looking dead straight, killing all his fangirls in the process.

but this time round, though he was facing straight ahead, his eyes were off axis and staring straight at you. 

you get goosebumps, letting a prolonged “ohhhhhhhhhh” escape between your lips. you couldn’t help yourself as your face lights up at the eye contact, and the sight of all his fangirls dying around you was so gratifying. 

“yah!” hyunjun burst out into giggles, punching your arm. “you don’t have to make it so obvious! else his fangirls would totally swamp you!”

you laugh out loud, feeling your face burn up. there was absolutely nothing in the world that could make you jealous, not when you knew that juyeon’s strength in performance was his stage presence and his eyes. he was bound to get his own fanclub, you were just one of the lucky fangirls who ended up dating him. 

but over time, your aggressive screaming over the handsome boy faded into admiration, and he had to come to terms with the fact that it was terribly hard to make you jealous. you trusted him completely, so there was absolutely no reason for you to feel jealous despite all the girls drooling over him all the time. 

throughout the performance, juyeon shoots you looks and glares that sent chills down your spine, and with every passing moment, hyunjun gradually got annoyed with you spitting out “ooooooooh”s and “ahhhhh”s, even when juyeon wasn’t center.

“ah, can you shut up?” hyunjun snickers, pulling you into a headlock and ruffling your hair.

“또 다른 날 깨우는 밤”

you hear his voice through the sound system, and the only thing that comes to mind was: “wah, how long did they take to get this choreography down?”

hyunjun releases you upon processing the question, his smile never once leaving his face. both of you were so satisfied with the performance you gave, it was almost impossible to wipe the smiles off your faces. 

“i don’t know, there’s a reason why i’m in this half of the dance crew,” hyunjun snorts. before you could say anything else, two female students come up to hyunjun and asks for a selfie. 

you smirk at him, for a moment forgetting that your man was giving his all on the stage. 

the music stops and the now nearly all-girls audience begins screaming. the sharp, rumbling noise startles you, and you instinctively cover both your ears while hyunjun thanks the two girls who now each have a picture with him. 

“WHOO! SICK STUFF!” you and hyunjun stand up, throwing fists into the air and screaming all the names of the boys on stage. your eyes naturally find juyeon, who was now smiling at the audience. 

but strangely, his eyes didn’t look satisfied. it was so easy to read juyeon sometimes, you found it adorable.

you and hyunjun wait patiently by the chair you were just sharing as the boys come down and gather around you while the next group heads on stage. you give nearly all of them tight hugs, kevin and jacob especially giving you compliments on how believable your performance was with hyunjun.

“oh, you should’ve seen juyeon hyung’s face when hyunjun was nearly about to kiss your ear,” eric giggles with mischief and you laugh it off by gently pushing him backwards. you look at juyeon, who was circling the group and walking towards you.

“you did so well!” you exclaimed, throwing both arms in the air and over his shoulders. you had to tip-toe, thanks to his taller-than average height.

hyunjun grins at the other boys, giving them shoulder bumps and fist bumps while juyeon pats your head with a lack of emotion. but since you couldn’t see his face while you had your face in his chest, you don’t notice it. 

the crew spends the rest of the performance time screaming and hyping up whoever was on stage. you let sangyeon and hyunjae share the lone chair, while you stand between juyeon and hyunjun. 

you were so engrossed in the group that was performing on stage, all you did was yell and scream alongside hyunjun and kevin and jacob, never once picking up on juyeon being silent the entire time. 

the performance period ends, and everybody congratulates each other for the impressive performances that required both time and effort in the last few months. 

you wave goodbye to hyunjun and the other boys, juyeon following closely behind you as the you leave in the opposite direction from the boys.

“you were so good on stage, do you know that?” you grin widely, naturally wrapping your arm around his. he smiles emptily at you, his ends of his hair-sprayed blue hair sticking to his forehead due to the sweat. 

you step back and admired him, who was still in his white and black outfit for the performance. you completely forget that you were also still in your slightly provocative outfit from your performance with hyunjun.

“yah... they really did it this time with that low-ass v-neck, huh?” you smirk at him, playfully pulling on the edge of his collar that dipped down so low between his pectorals. 

“what about you and hyunjun?” he laughs, but it wasn’t a laugh you heard often. you pick up on it, but you try not to show it on your face. “they also really ‘did it this time’ with your all-black outfit. why’d you agree to let them put you in a tube top and leggings?”

you raise your eyebrows in surprise, and a smile of disbelief creeps up on your lips. you burst into giggles, grabbing his arm and interlocking your fingers with his.

“awww, is lee juyeon jealous?” you start to poke his upper arm and his chest where the v-neck was. “i let them dress me like this because of the performance! how were we going to sell that if we were dressed in pajamas?” 

“no, but don’t you think hyunjun was too close to you all the time? i mean, if you were in a bar and you simply closed all the gaps between the both of you, it’ll totally look like you two were hooking up,” juyeon looks down at you, a tiny pitiful smile left on his lips. 

you couldn’t help but to laugh again, nearly doubling over from the effort it took you to stop laughing. 

“you were the one who told me that acting and being professional was the most important ingredient of a performance!” you were so engrossed in making your point, you don’t realise you were already at the doorstep of his room where he stayed. yours was just a few floors above.

thank god the dorm building you were staying in was close to where all the events happened. 

juyeon glares at you while he pulls out his room key, and you do nothing but shake and twist on the spot. 

juyeon finally gets the door open and you rush in before him, throwing your bag on the floor, wanting to collapse on the ground because you were just so satisfied.

you turn around, wanting to invite juyeon to sit with you on the floor and do nothing but talk about the performance.

but you freeze with a desire to laugh on the inside when you see the juyeon you only recognised on stage closing the door behind him.

a laugh crawls along your throat and you purse your lips, trying your best not to break out into a giggling frenzy. 

“earth to lee juyeon?” you wave your hand loosely in front of him, but his eyes were looking at you like he did during the performance. it sent chills down your spine and you suddenly feel like you were one of his fangirls again, never mind the fact that you were actually dating him.

“uh... is anything... wrong?” you slowly start to back up, realising that juyeon’s completely lost his composure. juyeon doesn’t say a single word, but his eyes scream so many things that you had trouble reading him. 

you suddenly remember how powerful he was on stage, and on top of that, the fact that he knew how you felt seeing him on stage. 

“isn’t this a little unfair--” your voice gets stuck in your throat once you feel your back hit the cold, hard wall of his room. “you’re using your stage eyes and it’s unfair because you know i can’t handle them-- hnnng--”

you whine and turn away, feeling your heart mercilessly picking up its pace while juyeon traps you between both his arms. 

“that’s exactly my point,” his voice was low and rumbled through the air between you. you wince at the sensation of his breath on your ear. suddenly, your provocative outfit doesn’t do anything to feed your confidence. it’s almost like your stage self had completely combusted and disappeared off the face of earth, because you were face-to-face with juyeon. 

“i know i told you that those two things were important for a performance but i never expected you to go all out with them, especially with a provocative one.”

you lick your lips, still wanting to laugh from embarrassment. you were a mixture of intimidated and mischief, but right now, juyeon caging you was doing nothing to fuel your mischievous self. instead, it was completely killing it. 

“does that mean i can’t do anymore provocative performances anymore?” you finally gather the courage to look at him straight in the eye. though his eyes were now dark and piercing, he was still your boyfriend after all.

you wait patiently for him to respond, but all he does is crash his lips onto yours without warning.

you feel the heat from him radiate into your chest and stomach, and his hands were now on your bare waist where your tube top doesn’t cover. 

“you can still do provocative performances--” he huffs through kisses. “but you either do them with me, or you promise me you’ll do nothing that looks like a discount hook-up session.”

you laugh into the kiss, feeling his stage self slowly disappear as the kisses become lighter. 

“oh, i’ll gladly do a provocative performance with you, and you know what?” you pull away, brushing his hair aside and noticing your lipstick smudged on his. 

“i’ll gladly do one without an audience.”

[theworryjournal]

Body Positivist Police

You know the number of body positivist influencers I follow? You wouldn’t believe it but I also follow a few animal/pet profiles on social media that promote body positivism. A very “LOL” moment when I realised that’s how intensely I’m battling body positivism. If there’s one of me, then there are many like me right? A very millennial problem to possess, yet so subjective. You know what I don’t get though, how do I expect someone living outside of my body to help me normalise what’s happening within and on my body? No matter who I follow or what they preach, you can never normalise what I see when I look in the mirror or what I feel when I touch ME. No matter how many stretch mark photos I see, no matter how many uneven breasts I see, no matter how many paunchy human beings I see, its never enough. Do you feel that dissatisfaction? And eventual remorse? Well, I do and I couldn’t fathom, why not? They are doing it, I sort of look like her or him, so its okay. Its not. Its really not (because growing up, I never saw a body like mine up on the big screen and I still don’t see it). Especially those 1000 word essay type captions I see, the ones that do not have a TLDR version saying how they overcame this or that (no disrespect to the ones who have such posts, no offense intended, just normalising), still doesn’t help. 

I’ve batted an issue with weight, almost all my life (at least since I hit puberty, in my head that’s when my life actually began). Not weight exactly because I’ve weighed healthy (according to all the WHO standards) but the way I “looked” to myself, in the mirror. I was never satisfied. I always found my thighs too heavy or “thunderous” if you wanna call it. I’ve always found myself too paunchy, there have been times when I’ve breathed short and heavy so that I’m able to hold my shape at a party (WTF right?). I’ve always caught myself staring for too long at my classmates’ (in high school) legs or arms, how they don’t jiggle and mine always did (and still do). I would starve myself, skip lunch and feed my lunch to the dogs. 4 years of braces and hating on my frizzy and curly hair, you would think growing up helps right? Newsflash, not really. Freud was right. if you don’t figure your childhood out, it’ll be your midlife crisis. Then came my 20s, 4 years of braces and 3 teeth short after, joined college and suddenly I was one of those girls that men looked more than twice. Men and women of all races wanted to look at me twice or felt the need to tell me that I looked “good” or they like how I’m dressed or how it accentuates so and so. I was being talked about, I was a standard to many girls. I couldn’t believe myself. I would still look at myself in the mirror, unsure. When I was eventually used to it, I was satisfied. My idea of satisfaction is allowing myself to eat an extra serving of rice (yes, I’m South Asian) or more meat or extra desserts. I discovered this new found confidence that glowed within me and helped me walk with my chin up because men wanted me. They wanted my sex. I was so confident, I was audacious. Happy. This new treatment mollified everything and I soon forgot I ever had issues with the way I looked. You know, until I was in my early 20s, I didn’t think I was a looker. That someone would look at me twice. It was in my 20s, that I heard someone call me beautiful. Pretty. A looker. Hot. Sexy. Cute. That hair is exquisite on you. Then I graduated and transitioned to my mid-20s. Being a professional and all that jazz. 

Slowly that confidence began to chip away. Maybe because I didn’t have men/women constantly validating me? Or that constant flow of attention? Then came the string of online dates and I got my next (best, apparently) constant source of attention and validation. I wasn’t out there hunting for validation for my wounded ego, it just came my way and of course I lapped it up. I was so used to that by now. I was hungry. With the “Do you know the kind of effect you have on men” to “Come on! You are being modest. You are fetching for compliments, aren’t you?” Well, no. I’m not. I really don’t know how I look. I don’t “believe” how I look. I mean, how can you believe in something you have no understanding of right? I also began noticing that every problem/hurdle I faced in my life, the first to erode, was the way I looked. That’s when I realised that the most fragile part of me is that, what I see when I look at the mirror. Bad relationship and I “let myself go” and ate whatever I could eat. That’s when I saw the scale dip to the higher end, something that’s never happened before. And now, I was unhealthy and of course I didn’t like what I saw either. That didn’t affect me then because he didn’t think I looked bad. He was attracted to me, even if I wasn’t. Then he left and the veil lifted. An alarm went off and I saw her. Me. 

I was sad. Moping everyday. I stopped looking at the mirror. I stopped dressing well. My self-esteem left the building. Being quarantined didn’t help for sure. I knew I was dipping into being unhealthy and finally found that courage in me to face myself and my body. I started eating healthy. Tried not to deprive myself of anything. I exercised (overdid it in the beginning to an extent where I almost injured myself but now I’m learning). It wasn’t easy. I would beat myself bloody (metaphorically) if I cheated or overate or didn’t stick to my regime or didn’t exercise. Now, I’m slowly transitioning. I’m having conversations with my body in front of the mirror. I love looking at myself in the mirror now. I love my hair. I love my skin. I love my stretch marks. I love eating cupcakes. I eat loads of rice. I’ve a paunch and I love it. I sometimes make it talk to me, you know like how kids do it. Yet, there are days when its really difficult. When I’m bloated and I feel like everything I did has gone for a toss. When I look at my arms and think they’re too large. At least, those days are lesser in number than the happy ones. I like taking pictures of myself now and uploading them, regardless of who thinks what. Especially pictures that show my paunch or arms or thighs. I breathe deeply and through my belly now. I finally don’t add as much value as I did when someone compliments me. I thank them and tell myself you bet I do. Because I do. I really do. 

Today I’m 26, a vegan (because animal husbandry is going to drive us to extinction), slightly overweight, paunchy, thunder thighs, beautiful curly hair and hairy sometimes. I eat healthy and unhealthy, I exercise whenever I can and I’m happy. I’m “satisfied”. I still follow those pages and like every post because I’m supportive. I realised that no matter how much positive energy you surround yourself with, its never gonna be enough until you fill your insides with it. I look in the mirror everyday because I like who I see, she makes me happy. I don’t upload photos so that someone else validates it or to help someone else see if I can, so can you. No. I do it because it makes me happy. I’m celebrating, everyday. This body. This smile. This hair. This skin. Every time I hit a block and have difficulty accepting a part of my body, I photograph it and look at it again and again. Until I’ve normalised it for ME. When someone says, do you have any idea the kinda effect you have on people, I genuinely know the answer to that because I’ve that same effect on myself, when I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve created this masterpiece today and I’ll fiercely protect her. 

Its funny how I came to realise that I need to normalise it for myself, every time I’m intoxicated and my inhibitions dropped, I would see someone else in the mirror. A woman fierce from within. Appealing from within. Her personality defining her features. Her personality and her looks amalgamating and reflecting off of my mirror. I would suddenly find every part of my body so appealing and almost turning on. When it would wear off, I wouldn’t see that anymore. That’s when I realised, I’ve to do it for me. Just like how all these influencers are doing it for themselves. 

Don’t get me wrong, I still love makeup, dressing up and being complimented. The only difference is I do it only to accentuate what I already am and have and not to change the way I look or am. 

TLDR- You gotta do it. You gotta do it for yourself. I mean, you live in that body. You feel its feelings. You masturbate with that body. You dress that body. How can someone else do it for you? 

The irony is that my profession is helping others eat healthy and maintain a better lifestyle, I’m a nutritionist. I didn’t plan to be one at all. That’s a story for another time. The universe sure does work in mysterious ways. 

Normalise it. Feel it. Accept it. Love it. We’re on each other’s team. Kinda tired of having to throw my hands in the air. 

[blehbleehhhh]

Real Love Never Fades ft. EreMika❣️

I know this isn’t requested, but since the barbarian fic and rereading Romeo and Juliet for the millionth time, AND watching Reign again, aaaaand idk. Thought it would be interesting to do something like this that follows them through the years as their romance grows. 🤷‍♀️ This is how I assume things would have worked if they were both royalty in the time of kings and queens. Fun fact about that show, it’s based on love Mary Stuart and Francis I, I believe. Look, just don't think about the countries, even though France is the only country I got from the show lol. And pretend that wasn't a time where people literally watched marriages get consummated. 🙄 Men. Anyway, enjoy the story.

"...4...3...2...1, ready or not, here I come!" A precious five year old princess with long, shiny raven hair trots through the castle's large study room in search of her new best friend, a sweet little prince that's as old as she and just as precocious with incredible green eyes. Mikasa's bangs tickle the bridge of her nose as she peeks around the couch and frowned when all she found was one of the many cats that roam the halls, though she happily reached down to scratch the tabby's ear before she went and searched elsewhere in the study to no avail. "I'm gonna find you, Eren!" She giggles as she runs down the long hallway, her little dress's train billowing out behind as she scrunched some of the front skirt in her fists, reducing the possibility that she'll fall all the while. The first place she checked when she ran into his room was underneath the bed, but there was nothing except dark hardwoods covered in an area rug. Prince Eren was nowhere to be found until there was suddenly a pair of hands coming from behind her that tickled into her sides and made the girl collapse on the floor almost immediately in a fit of laughter to be tickled mercilessly. "Wh-where did you come from?!"

"My Mommy!"

"Ahah, stop!" The princess snorted amidst her giggles as she rolled around on the floor, his own laugh almost as loud. "Y-you're a cheater!"

"Well, you were taking too long! I got bored!"

"My goodness, Eren," Came his mother's lovely voice with a small chuckle as she stands in the door way, watching the two toddlers play. So cute. "Leave this poor girl alone," Carla smiled when her little boy looked her way and practically tripped over himself running into her welcoming arms, throwing his arms around her neck to share a sweet embrace. "Would you like it if Mikasa came back to play?" Eren leaned back in his mother's arms with a very wide, happy grin and both toddlers nodded in unison. "Wonderful! We're having a room made up for her to stay in when she comes to visit during the summer and isn't at home with her parents learning what Daddy and I are teaching you." His face fell into a frown, pouting that his friend will eventually have to leave, little arms crossing over his chest in a frustrated huff.

"But I don't want her to go! Ever!"

"I know, but she has her family back home in France that wants to spend time with her, too."

"Well, why can't we move to there? Why do we have to stay in Germany?"

"Because we have stuff to do here, silly boy. Daddy and I have a country to run. Now, we have Mikasa for a few more weeks, so go play! The Nanny will come tuck you two in tonight, but we'll be visiting as soon as we can, okay?"

"Okay, Momma." Eren smiled as the tip of his nose was kissed before being carefully placed back on his feet and immediately turned to take the princesses hand in his, giving it a gentle pull. "C'mon, Miki!" And with that, they scurry out into the hallway, running together in search of another exciting adventure as the castle halls are filled with their adorable, childish giggles.

The years flew by respecting that cycle, where Mikasa returns to German Court after living at her home in French Court for most of the year so she can spend the summer with her future husband, tending to a romance that's budding between them rather quickly in their short thirteen years. From holding hands when sitting together in the throne room to sneaking off for somewhere private to make out, as the years went on, these moments where hearts are left racing make the task of keeping things out of the bedroom even more difficult. It was often that the pair find themselves feeling flustered during the day from a primal desire, making whoever they're in a room with uncomfortable because the sexual tension is that palpable. And this is exactly what they're feeling now as the young couple sit together on the lawn, watching wind rustling the leaves in the trees. Eren turns slightly to see her laying back in the grass with her eyes closed, dozing peacefully in early morning sun, and he smiled as he reached over to tickle into the more ticklish part of her side through her beautiful dress, making the girl's nose wrinkle as she started to chuckle, playfully swatting at his hand. He's always enjoyed messing with her like this, even now in their late teenage years. "Get out of here you weirdo!"

"But I love your giggle. It’s so contagious."

"Stop flirting with me, I'm trying to relax and you're very distracting..." Mikasa's eyes opened to his as she pushed her fingers through her hair and grinned, feeling so lucky to have been paired with a man like him - kind, passionate, loving, loyal, tough as hell. Just dreamy.

"Well, tough shit, because I enjoy flirting with you." He just laughed as he suddenly climbed on top and took both of her hands to gently pin them into the grass, lacing their fingers together. She blushed and smiled wide as she studied his incredible green eyes, so full of life and ambition. "I love you." Eren smiled as he slowly leaned down to kiss the pink lips that have been his favorite treat since they started kissing at thirteen, and she was eager to oblige, breathing a soft chuckle into his mouth. She lightly squeezed his hands, already melting inside from that feeling, so persistent with sneaking up on her when engaging in an intimate encounter with fiancé, which almost always ends in one pulling away quickly before things get out of control, something they really only needed to start doing since turning eighteen. His lips separated from hers slowly, savoring the sweet taste of her kiss as a heat bubbled to the surface that made his cheeks and his ears feel hot, letting him know that he's definitely blushing from feeling so flustered. The handsome prince was quick to climb off and dropped into a seated position wanting to crawl under a rock because he's embarrassed for behaving like this. He cleared his throat as he anxiously runs a hand through sexy, shaggy brown hair. "I'm, uh, I'm sorry, Miks." She rose to bring her knees closer as her eyes flickered from his eyes to the lips she could easily kiss all day. Of course she understands. They both know how important it is to consummate their marriage as virgins.

"No, it's okay," Mikasa offered a reassuring smile as he gently bumped his forehead against hers. "I really like kissing you.." He chuckled as he placed a gentle hand on her cheek and carefully tucked stray hairs behind her ear.

"I know, I love kissing you too," Eren smirked, watching her eyes look away to the boat dock behind him because he's made her nervous. "I'm embarrassed to say this but I don't know if I can control myself if we let our kissing progress before we get married." His princess grins as he kisses her repeatedly and threw her arms around his neck to pull him close, deepening their already passionate kiss with a soft moan into his mouth. Neither give a damn about anything at this point; not their marriage being used as an alliance between Germany and France, not the countless duties they have before they're even crowned as king and queen of Germany, only how wonderful it feels to be making out in the castle garden simply enjoying each other's company. That summer was the best and the last for many months, dragging on even further into one year, then two, three, while the Jaeger Clan had been left in the dark. Something terrible has happened to her, surly. Eren would say to himself with a heavy heart because even the thought that the love of his life could have perished is simply too much for him bear, and this carried on into his work. Many beautiful women threw themselves at him now that Mikasa has been missing for four years, but he couldn't cheat on her. Real love never dissipates, not truly. He had no proof of death which means that, until that day comes, there will remain a strong hope within him that his princess will one day return. However, this heartache prevents him from even considering another woman because he truly believes nobody can replace someone so unique, so exotic, so breathtakingly beautiful that whenever he looks at her, his world stops and she is the only thing that he can see.

It was during the fourth December that a mysterious carriage castle guards didn't recognize arrived with the princess on board disguised in what someone poor would wear, very light despite the heavy blanket she's wrapped in. Princess Mikasa was immediately escorted out of the freezing snow and rain feeling fatigued from such a long journey and a nasty cold she caught along the way. Word was sent through the castle to the young prince who stands outside with his father, Grisha, in a practice sword fight of her return and was promptly ushered off by his father, who didn't seem to care too much about the sword being dropped on the ground when his son took off for the door. Mikasa lies curled up in her bed with many heavy blankets as the fireplace radiated heat into the dimly lit bedroom, sleeping soundly on her side facing away from the door as he carefully closed her bedroom door behind him. His eyes stung terribly from the tears of pure joy and relief to have her back, a sight so comforting immediately cured the unbearable tightness he's had in his chest since she disappeared, carefully crawling under the blankets with her. At long last, he can breathe. In my heart I knew, I knew you were alive. Eren wanted to say, but he slipped his arms around her shivering body instead and held her close under the heavy winter blankets, burying his face into her soft, raven colored hair. She stirred slowly and stretched against him with a soft groan as her back became flush to the front of his body, taking the hand he has on her stomach in hers to lace their fingers. "I'm so sorry.." His response was simply to kiss her hair and tuck his knees behind hers, squeezing his arms around her tiny waist.

"No, it's okay. I'm just relieved to have you in my arms again. What the fuck happened?"

"Someone made an assassination attempt on my family, so I was hastily put in a carriage bound for you. We were hoping that if I dressed poorly and laid low in the carriage that I'd be safe but unfortunately I somehow managed to loose one of my heavy blankets.."

"You still weren't dressed very warm, I'm told."

"Yeah, my parents couldn't help much because they were behind the scenes trying to figure out who poisoned our bread. One of the servants died.."

"What about Levi?"

"Battlefield. Where else?"

"I'm glad you guys are okay, but I'm sorry about one of your people passing."

"Claire was amazing. She braided my hair and was so personable," Mikasa breathed a sorrowful sigh as she watched the fire dance, his thumb slowly rubbing across the side of her hand. "You know, we're finally old enough to get married now.." He chuckled into her hair and reached up to gently push away the raven locks blocking him from pressing kisses to the side of her neck, which happens to be one of her favorite spots to have kissed when they're engaged in a make out session.

"Tell me what you want, my queen."

"Promise me it'll be romantic?"

"Did you really think I wasn't already planning to sweep you off your feet?" Eren smiled as a chill made its way down his spine just thinking about finally giving in to temptation, his words making her head turn and gaze into his eyes. She was already smiling wide as she brought the blanket over her face because he's so cute with his dimples, and everything else that she loves about him that it makes him even sexier.

"I thought your parents were going to cry when they saw me."

"Of course, you were dearly missed by us all."

"I missed you too," She pulled the blanket down and looked into his eyes. "I must admit that I'm surprised you didn't move on with one of those sluts that's always throwing themselves at you." He raised an eyebrow and brought a gentle hand to her cheek, carefully dusting her bangs away from her eyes as he tucked loose strands of her french braid behind her ear.

"Are you kidding? I could never cheat on you. I'm so in love with you that it made me sick when you were gone because it felt like my other half was missing. I tried to get over you after a few years, but I just couldn't do it.." Eren sighed and was surprised when she didn't immediately react, just staring with her eyes wider as she processes the news - and then she had forced herself from his arms to push him onto his back, climbing on top so she can straddle his lap. "Eh? What are you -" But he had been interrupted with her kiss and it tasted sweeter than he remembers, his hands on her lower back smoothing flat the light fabric of her night gown, occasionally sliding over the curve of her ass. She pulled her lips away and gently bumped their foreheads together, happy to receive the little pecks as a reward. "Well, alright then."

"I love you too, you big dope.."

"I figured as much."

"Do you think your parents will rush to have us get married now?" Mikasa smiled and planted a kiss on his lips once again, lingering until she felt him smirk, his hands squeezing and rubbing her ass. He smirked when she pulled away, giving a playful smack that made her blush and giggle nervously as she brings the covers up to her neck.

"Probably. But even if they weren't, I am in a rush to marry you."

"Good, me too," Her smile grows wide as she reaches up to gently cradle his cheek, and when his response of simply turning enough until his lips were pressed into her palm, it made a chill run down her spine. And for once today, it wasn't from the cold. "Will you stay with me?" Mikasa chuckled as he proceeded to kiss each of her fingertips, his smile and those eyes making her blush.

"Would be an honor," Eren smirked as she rests her head in the crook of his neck and was already on her way to falling asleep once more, his arms wrapped around her body as she lies on top of him. "We'll never be apart again, my love, you have my word." With their bodies buried almost completely beneath the heavy winter blankets all you could see were their heads, faces illuminated by a warm glow from the fireplace. It wasn't until many hours later that the couple finally awoke still in the same position in which they'd fallen asleep, when her fiancé finally tucked her in where he'd been laying and quietly left her bedchamber, off to learn more of his future duties as Germany's King.

The next day, Princess Mikasa was already out of bed and in one of her more extravagant gowns much to everyone's dismay though none more than Eren, who has been begging her all morning to let him handle things today with his parents but she wouldn't have it. "I really am okay, Eren, I just need to feel useful again after being stuck in a convent for four years. Besides, I know for a fact that you'd be doing the same thing in my shoes." They stand on the balcony connected to his bedroom that looks over the garden sharing a warm, loving embrace.

"Except boys don't go to convents."

"Shut up," She giggled and lifted her head, giving his cheek a gentle, playful pat, making him chuckle in amusement. "You know what I meant."

"You're not wrong, I definitely wouldn't be in bed right now. There's too much shit to do."

"Yeah, so, stop being an asshole and let me help you, okay?"

"Woah! Asshole?" Eren laughed, pretending to be offended at her words because doing so is making her giggle and it's music to his ears. "Good god, woman, I've missed you."

"A king should never be without his queen.." Mikasa smiled as she leaned in to kiss him on the lips, his hand gently cradling the back of her head to let her know that he definitely agrees with such a statement. She moaned softly into his mouth as their kiss grows more rough with need, hand pressing flat against her back because their bodies can never be close enough. Many months later, they finally started the journey to become one with a beautiful ceremony on the cliff that overlooks the ocean, waves crashed aggressively against rocks below that competed with raging winds on everyone's ears when listening to the speaking priest. And later that evening about halfway through the wonderful party Grisha and Carla had thrown for the newly weds, they retreated to his bedchamber, one of them frequently getting pushed up against the castle walls on the way for heated, steamy kisses that convey how much they look for and to what's next. Their hearts raced with anticipation as he spun her around behind closed doors to reach the laces of her wedding gown, holding his beautiful blushing bride close so he can lovingly kiss her neck knowing this has always been a weakness of hers that they now get the privilege to explore. Mikasa slowly leaned her head to the side as his fingers worked to loosen the tight bindings of her corset to make her gown fall, billowing out around their feet as she hurriedly turned her body to face him and her placed a hand on his handsome, cleanly shaven face, swiping her thumb over one of his adorable, boyish dimples. She giggles as when he gives a devilish grin, immediately getting louder because she's suddenly been thrown over his shoulder like she weighed nothing and was carried to their marital bed, already warm from the fire that was lit for them beforehand.

"So, why do I feel like we'll be doing it frequently now that we can?"

"Because there's no reason why the times we sneak off to make out aggressively can't also be quickies.." Mikasa sat on her knees and reached for him, watching his eyes as she slowly removes his jacket and her hands slid along incredibly defined, muscular arms "We can come in here and mess around a little bit during the day. We're supposed to be trying for a baby anyway, right?" Eren smirks, nodding his head in both agreement and amusement because he's never heard her speak this way outside of his dreams, and it's such a turn on for him that it makes him crave her more. He was gentle as always when cradling her cheek and gave his typical dreamy smile when his belt made a distinctive clink on the hardwoods, his pants around his ankles. With a fresh blush on her skin she smiled as they studied each other's eyes, her hands slowly rubbing along the waistband of his underpants, making him smirk in amusement.

"Why, Mikasa Jaeger, you naughty girl."

"Surprise..." She giggled, watching him lick his lips as her hands slowly wander up his chiseled body and stopped at his jawline, just as carved as the rest of him, to run her thumb across his surprisingly soft lips. Slowly, they closed the space between their faces and engaged in a kiss so deeply passionate that it made her moan, and that drove him wild as she breathed a playful yelp to be suddenly picked up again. He smirked as she continued returning his kisses and tossed her back into the sheets where she watched him with a small grin, biting her lip and blushing because he's pounced on top of her. "Did you just pick me up so you could do that?" She raised an eyebrow and giggled when he simply winked in response, his hands slowly roaming the lithe half naked body beneath him. His eyes never left hers as he reached to push down his underpants and kicked them off the rest of the way, bringing his hand to one of her breasts before randomly burying his face in the valley between. "Oooh.." Her whisper was soft but he could definitely hear the smile to it as he slowly grew more and more drunk on her body, the sweet smell of perfume still faint just below her collarbone. Eren's lips smirk on her breast as he covers her chest in kisses, licking and scattering gentle nibbles from his teeth that made her breaths quicken. Her fingertips lightly caressed the sensitive head of his aching erection, her fingers quick to curve around its girth to give the impressive length gentle strokes that immediately made him exhale a low moan into her skin. It pleases her greatly just knowing that only she has the power to make a man like Eren surrender himself, no matter how temporary it is. The young man felt blissful as he finally looked up and smiled, gazing into those dreamy half lidded charcoal blues and placed his hand on her flushed cheek, much warmer than normal from a hot fire burning nearby.

"I love you my beautiful, sexy queen."

"Heh," Mikasa grinned, his thumb slowly moving across her nipple as she reaches around her thigh to tug her underpants aside, rubbing his oozing tip through the wetness that's accumulated between her thighs. "I love you too, my king.." With a sultry smile she guided him into her sopping opening, her eyes glued to his as an intensely tight heat engulfed him and made his jaw drop it felt so good - until he noticed that Mikasa was whimpering silently in discomfort, which immediately made his expression change to one that's genuinely remorseful as he softly kissed the tears on her cheek.

"I'm so fucking sorry that it hurts. Can I make it better?"

"Just keep kissing me.." She offered a reassuring smile that eased him some, though he's much more concerned about her than himself as usual, hoping to offer some sort of comfort with softer and much more loving kisses. She tightened her legs to signal that she was ready for him to continue on with slowly inching his length inside. It relieved him to no end when he only heard the delightful sound of her moaning in response to him being so deep that their bodies are flush, and when he felt her legs loosen, the young man tucked his hands behind her knees to spread them, pushing back far enough that her hips were now raised from the mattress.

"Don't forget," Eren hunched over her until their grins were just barely touching. "We're all alone in this part of the castle, Miki, so you can scream for me as loud as you want." She squealed with delight and placed her hands on his broad shoulders, her nails lightly scratching across his upper back as their lips brushed against one another, his thrusts gentle, long and deep only briefly until he couldn't take it anymore.

"Do me hard.." And with that, he did as his instincts directed, thrusting into the tight heat much faster, in a way that still enabled her to follow his rhythm much to both of their amusement, so it didn't take long for him to make her climax again. Mikasa's loud, pleasurable cries filled the room as she is given exactly what she desires, making her body writhe, his thrusts so persistent that he has her trembling because it just feels so impossibly good. "Ohh! Eren!" He suddenly squeezed his eyes shut and grunted an animalistic groan that drove her absolutely wild, riding him from below as fast as she can while whispering dirty nothings amidst her moans. With a pleasure induced hiss, he pumped into her hard until he couldn't go any deeper just in time to coat his bride's eager womb with his seed for the first time, grunting and moaning with every slow, deep thrust. 

"Fuck!" Eren collapsed on top of her and was immediately brought in for a kiss, feeling just as satisfied and breathless after finally having the privilege of making love to his girl. She smiled against his lips as her fingers slid through his shaggy brown hair damp with sweat and pulled her lips away slowly, looking up into his eyes with a mutual grin. He lightly squeezed the under part of her knees as she allowed her hands to wander his back, the entire length of his cock slow to disengage because he's so enjoying this sensation. Eren was quick to stuff some pillows under her hips, though, because the Apothecary who stays in the castle has suggested this to a few other women trying to conceive, even Carla. He placed his hand on her toned stomach and allowed it to wander down between her legs, making her giggle and moan in response as he gave the happily sore area a gentle pat. With a chuckle at her amusement Eren dropped down beside her on his back and breathed a satisfied sigh, carefully assisting his new wife with moving closer so she can rest the back of her head on his chest. The fire crackled nearby and kept their naked bodies warm while they're not under the heavy winter blankets as he slowly pushed his fingers through her bangs to keep them away from her sweaty forehead, combing out any knots from the curled raven locks. She leaned her head back until he was upside down and giggled when she realized he'd already been staring at her with that same old sexy smirk as he gently pulled apart one stubborn knot.

"Your hair is so soft."

"Really? 'Cause I think it's kind of dry," Mikasa smiled as she placed her hands on her breasts, a sight that noticeably made his semi-erection twitch. "Otherwise it wouldn't be so knotted. Oh, is something wrong, my king?" He grinned as he playfully narrowed his eyes and placed a hand on her cheek, tickling her soft skin as it slowly wanders down to her chest and gently grabbed her breast, noting almost immediately how hard the nipple is against his palm.

"Nothing, nothing. Any chance you're up for round two, you little minx?"

"Absolutely." Mikasa smiled with a soft moan as her breast was gently squeezed, making him smirk as he watches her thighs press together because she already wants him again and hopes the pressure will provide some sort of relief. Before he knew it, she had turned to face away from him and pushed the pillows out from beneath her hips, offering a sultry smile as she rolled over onto her stomach. "I haven't given you head in a while..." He was already more than amused when his fingers pushed her bangs away from her eyes, her hand slowly sliding up his chiseled abdomen as she watches dreamy viridian greens intently. She flattened her tongue against the underside of the shaft and licked before clearing his ooze from the tip, her eyes fluttering shut as she brings him into the warmth of her mouth and further under her spell once more.

[fluffyheretic]

I’m so fucking tempted to say “every single question with Kazushuu or Hitoshuu (except for the nsfw ones i guess)” But I don’t want to singlehandedly kill you

ok let’s do it

as a side note sometimes the answer is the same or similar for both ships just bc shuu is uh. the same person. but ofc not always

under cut for lengthhhh

1. Who makes the first move and how?

hitoshuu: normally im gonna say definitely hitori. he probably decides to be direct and just straight up ask. in iwasweetie au specifically tho i want it to be sweetie if only bc i need to make him get over his shit. he also asks “directly” but it actually involves a lot of stuttering and beating around the bush so it ends up not being very direct

shuukazu: im not sure if it would really be one of them specifically, i can see them as the “this kind of just happened” couple. maybe kazuaki is the one after several months whos like “so um… what are we…. lol………..”

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

hitoshuu: shuu, not that hitori is the paragon of confidence but shuus like “wtf hes the ideal young man and im Bastard Supreme but ok i guess”

shuukazu: BOTH LMAO but kazu is more vocal abt it and shuu is the Bottle Up EVERYTHING type

some good ol body positivity cuddle sessions work in both cases

3. Who is the most romantic?

anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what feelings ARE” reasons

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

again anyone but shuu for obvious “i dont even know what intimacy IS” reasons but specifically hitori is just more confident and kazuaki isnt necessarily confident but is more just. shameless

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

not shuu for similar reasons as above. there’s a trend here, you see

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

THIS is a CHRISTIAN blog

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

hitoshuu: going to dinner at a place thats nice but not TOO nice. like good comfortable atmosphere and good food but not posh

shuukazu: they probably just wander around, maybe go shopping, kazuaki keeps pointing out stuff he wants and dr iwamine “i dont know what to do with my money bc i dont want for material things” shuu just buys it for him. shuu please stop enabling him. stop it.

8. What do they like in bed?

hitoshuu: cuddling :)

shuukazu: snuggling :)

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

i feel like shuu considers every single new couple-y thing he does to be the new most embarrassing thing he’s done. we’re holding hands? embarrassing. i kissed you? god now THATS embarrassing. you caught me wearing your sweater that you accidentally left at my place? well put me in the fucking ground thats literally the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to anybody. how dare i show sentimentality. despicable

kazuaki is similar in that he’s constantly one-upping himself and getting a NEW most embarrassing thing but his things include stuff like getting caught watching really strange anime and scream-singing pop songs and anime OPs in the shower

hitori probably like tripped on the sidewalk once

10. What two songs, two books and two luxury items do they take to a desert island?

these questions are difficult bc man idk what media exists in 2188 bird japan

11. What do they hide from one another?

in both cases shuus answer is “just about everything” hes terrified of the mortifying ordeal of being known. pretty much everything you learn about him has to be squeezed out

hitori hides how troubled he really is because he wants to seem like the responsible one everyone can depend on so that they dont have to worry about him. he does his best to hide when hes struggling but since shuu has that exact same impulse they pretty quickly start to see through each other, but are also very understanding about it.

kazuaki probably doesnt have as much to hide but he might be shy about portraying how REALLY in love with shuu he is too soon because he doesnt want to scare him away. he also hides the weirder shows and games and stuff that hes into lol

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

hitoshuu: i can see them having that kind of relationship where at first its casual and almost competitive in a way, like a “i think youre sexy and the only thing i know to do about it is see what i can do to make you flustered, then act smug when i succeed” thing. but over time when the novelty of that starts to wear off they both kinda realize they just straight up like each other and start being more genuine and soft.

shuukazu: again its a similar thing with shuu where he starts feeling more comfortable with letting himself be a little more genuine and START opening up. kazuaki picks up on this as a good sign and starts to worry less about trying to impress shuu and more just enjoying their time together.

13. When do they realize they should get together?

this is another one that i think is a similar answer in both cases, at least for shuu’s part he has a “dammit. i cant lose him” moment. since hes a person of very few words he tries to communicate “i want us to be serious” via letting down his walls a little bit, which hitori/kazuaki hopefully notice is happening and then are like “oh maybe we can work”

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

for shuu and hitori its “responsibly take care of you, bc its what i should do but also secretly i get STRESSED AS FUCK when someone i care about is sick so i gotta make sure youre okay”

for kazuaki its “take care of you, although i dont really know what im doing, also i thought since youre bedridden we could cuddle but its not as enjoyable as i wanted so like I’m Here but also im gonna watch tv okay? ill get u crackers and ginger ale”

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

hitoshuu: shuu’s gonna say he doesn’t care, but hitori also doesn’t really care so eventually he’ll get shuu to admit that he’d like to watch a nature documentary. especially if it’s marine-themed. hitori likes that too so hey there you go

shuukazu: shuu WILL watch the 76th pokemon movie OR ELSE

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

hitoshuu: both are cutthroat bastards that do anything it takes to keep each other safe. their reliance and trust in each other is probably 99% of what keeps them going.

shuukazu: again shuus gonna do literally anything it takes to keep kazuaki safe, but to be real i dont know if kazuaki is making it out of this one. and if he doesnt then shuus not either.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

shuu’s answer is going to be at various points in prehistory to study organisms that are now long-extinct (side note god thats definitely my answer too). his bf is worried abt the dangers but comes with him to make sure he doesn’t get into trouble.

i think hitori might not have anything specific in mind but going to historical sites in their heydays seems like a good choice.

since kazuaki likes literature he’d probably want to see historical stuff related to that, like seeing shakespeare plays when they first came out and meeting his favorite dead authors to ask them questions.

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

hitoshuu: hitori doesn’t like to dance around that kind of thing, after a little time has passed for them to both think about it then he’ll just be direct and say “hey lets talk about that thing that happened” if he feels he was in the wrong then he’ll then follow that up with an apology. i can see hitori being a little grudgy but then quickly getting tired of it and just wanting things to be resolved. shuu hates talking things out because hes bad at it but he knows its best so he’ll just try to explain how he felt at the time but also what he’s considered since then. even if he’s not good at explaining himself, hitori is good at understanding him anyway so they usually work it out pretty quickly.

shuukazu: they can be messier since kazuaki gets really emotional really quickly and sometimes says things he doesnt mean. theyre both bad at dealing with it afterwards though until after a few awkward days, kazuaki cant take it and is like “waaa i dont want us to be fighting anymore 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺” and shuus like “ok.” because yeah he’ll take the easy way out. they could probably improve their communication tbh

19. Where do they go on their first date?

hitoshuu: they probably decide to do something simple and casual to make it less awkward so they just get coffee. shuu feels like, from what he knows, that he should be expecting hitori to make a move on him. hitori doesnt because he wants to be considerate of shuus comfort level, but shuu takes it as a sign of disinterest. luckily shuu realizes hes wrong about that when hitori quickly invites him on Another date where they take a stroll in the park, and thats when hitori goes in for the tactical hand-hold maneuver.

shuukazu: kind of the opposite of hitoshuu in that they dont really declare it officially as a date. kazuaki just asks shuu if he wants to see a movie with him, not really calling it a date but kind of implying it to be one. shuu probably doesnt care about the movie but thinks this might possibly maybe be a date so he should go. kazuaki then uses it as a chance to Put On The Movies, as awkward as that might be, including the classic “stretch with my arms up and then let one down over your shoulders” move. shuu doesnt really know how to indicate his own interest in response but hopes the fact that hes also not complaining in any way gives a hint. despite it not REALLY being an official date at the time, later on theyll look back on it and decide that yeah that was their first date.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

shuu hates taking time off work, but if he must, then he’ll be content as long as theres something scientifically interesting there like a museum or an aquarium.

hitori doesnt really mind where they go, hes just grateful to get to go on holiday at all, so he’ll let shuu pick. and again, that’s going to be somewhere with a natural history museum, probably a very nice one and they’ll both enjoy it.

kazuaki is similar in that he’s just happy to be there but his ideal holiday destination is probably just…. akihabara. so shuu relents and goes there with him occasionally. kazuaki does like to visit aquariums with shuu though! they do both

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

hitoshuu: the cemetery, at least at first when they arent used to being that vulnerable in front of each other

shuukazu: well shuu sure as shit is nervous about going to anime cons with kazu

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

in both cases, definitely at one of their homes, because shuus too much of a wreck to have a moment like that in a public place.

for shuukazu, i picture it that theyre just hanging out at kazuakis place and relaxing, and they end up cuddling a lot, and kazuaki kisses him kind of impulsively. hes then very apologetic about it before shuu manages to assure him that its fine.

hitoshuu, maybe hitori walks shuu home after a date and goes for the classic end of date goodbye kiss, but just on the cheek. then when once again hitori has walked shuu home, shuu wonders if he should expect a real kiss this time, but hitori goes for the cheek again. shuus disappointed and grabs hitoris sleeve before he turns away because he doesnt know how to say he wants more. but hitori takes the hint and kisses him for real this time.

23. Where is their favorite place to be together?

in both cases it’s at home, because shuu finds it much easier to be intimate when they’re in privacy. i think all three of them really appreciate just getting to relax together.

24. Where do they first have sex?

what did i say about this being a christian blog

25. Why do they fight?

usually its because shuu said something a little too tactless. hes not so clueless that he’ll say something really obviously offensive, but sometimes he really doesn’t know what’s too much. but his bf is hopefully understanding of this and corrects him Still Firmly but still with some “but i know you didnt mean it like that, we’re okay” way, because chances are he really didnt.

for hitoshuu specifically, hitori has to be on shuu about eating properly and can sometimes get kind of annoyed about it. shuus kneejerk reaction is to then be offended because hes an adult who can take care of himself. but they calm down and make up when shuu remembers that hitori just worries for him, and hitori remembers that shuu doesnt not eat just to spite him.

for shuukazu, i can see kazuaki’s lack of responsibility and aloofness start to get on shuu’s nerves, and when he brings it up kazuaki thinks he’s just being mean. again, similarly to hitoshuu, they get over it when kazuaki reminds himself that shuu wants him to be able to take care of himself, and shuu reminds himself as well that he can be too abrasive and should work on it.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

hitoshuu: they dont have to right away but over time it would be good for them to be honest abt their respective traumas and the shit theyre dealing with instead of hiding it

shuukazu: similar, shuu should probably get around to being more open abt his shit. they might also want to have a talk abt what a serious relationship is gonna look like for them

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

hitoshuu: i answered this already! but again, its bc theyre so ~responsible~

shuukazu: ppl either see kazuaki being super clingy and think “man hes so overbearing, his poor partner 😒” or see shuu being emotionless and think “man theyre so cold, their poor boyfriend 😒” actually they gotta mind their own damn business

28. Why do they get jealous?

hitoshuu: i feel like hitori actually gets hit on a pretty decent amount. shuu is never happy about it, but the death glares he starts sending usually scare the person off anyway

shuukazu: both of them think the other is too good for them so if anyone looks at them with even a little too much interest the other is immediately like “well i guess this is it”

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

hitoshuu: little moments shuu loves is when hitori asks him how he is, how he slept. when he makes him dinner. hitori loves when shuu looks deep in thought, tucks his hair behind his ear, and he definitely likes to see him get along with nageki, which he does.

shuukazu: shuu loves when kazuakis eyes light up with excitement when he sees something he likes, especially when shuu realizes that hes one of those things too. he also loves kazuakis really nice hugs, especially when shuu just woke up from a nightmare. kazuaki loves how shuu listens to him intently, and asks questions about the things hes interested in, and sometimes rests his hand on him when hes getting tired.

30. Why does it work (or not work) between them?

hitoshuu: both are important figures in each other’s lives, obv shuu helped nageki but also hitori is probably the first person to get even a little close to shuu after ryuuji died. theyre both just pockets of trauma but are doing their best so it would be good for them to support each other and try to heal. theyre both pretty dependable so when the going gets tough they’re each other’s rocks

shuukazu: theyre definitely the “it will never work” couple that ends up working anyway. shuu might think kazuaki is annoying at first but if ryuuji is any indication shuu definitely seems to gravitate towards people who are more chill and even a little silly, and when shuu realizes that kazuaki isnt as dumb as he makes himself seem that helps a lot. for kazuaki shuu definitely has a ~mysterious~ aspect that draws him in initially but when it wears off as he learns more about shuu, instead of the magic being gone he just starts finding him more relatable and endearing so their relationship actually improves.

[putschki1969]

Lisani! 2010 Pamphlet - Kalafina Q&A 50 Translation

Hey! ( ･ω･)ﾉ Yesterday @mistress-of-the-obvious was kind enough to share her scans of the pamphlet and after quickly browsing through these questions, I thought it would be quite fun to translate them so you all know what’s going on ^_^. Of course we know a lot of this stuff already but all in all, the Q&A was quite insightful and there were a couple of new facts here and there. Please enjoy!

1. What was the first CD you bought? "口マンスの神様/Romance no Kamisama" by Hirose Kōmi and "パラシューター/Parachuter” by Folder (W) "BOY MEETS GIRL" by TRF (K) A Destiny's Child album (H) 2. Which song do you have on repeat right now? Kalafina's new song (W) Makihara Noriyuki’s "SPY" (K) Acid Black Cherry’s "Maria" (H) 3. Which artists do you look up to? Celine Dion (W) Ozaki Yutaka (K) DREAMS COME TRUE, Beyonce (H) 4. Who would you like to have a singing session with? Celine Dion, Spitz, Joe Hisaishi (W) KARA (K) DREAMS COME TRUE, Beyonce, Acid Black Cherry (H) 5. Who would you really like to meet? Hayao Miyazaki (W) Girls' Generation (K) Myself from a previous life (H)

6. What’s your favourite anime? All Ghibli works, "Evangelion" (W) "One Piece" (K) CLAMP's work (H) 7. What about your favourite manga? "Honey and Clover", "NANA", "We Were There", "Love★Com", " Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind ", "Oishinbo", "Monster", "Slam Dunk" "Evangelion", "Kyou no Nekomura-san " (W) "One Piece" (K) Works by George Asakura, Hidaka Banri, Mitsuki Kako etc (H) 8. Now your favourite game! My specialty is watching others play but I like "Final fantasy" and "Dragon Quest" (W) "Pokemon" (K) "Nonograms" (H) 9. What’s your go-to song at karaoke? "LOVE" by Nat King Cole (w) "喝采/Kassai" by Chiaki Naomi (K) "未来予想図II/Mirai Yosouzu II" by DREAMS COME TRUE (H) 10. Which songs would you like to cover someday? All the popular oldies (W) Ozaki Yutaka's "OH MY LITTLE GIRL" (K) Song with English lyrics (H) 11. A story hero you look up to? Ashitaka, Kaito Kid, Lupin III (W) Sailor Moon's Tuxedo Mask (K) Mickey Mouse (H) 12. A story heroine you look up to? Nausicaä, Sailor Moon (W) Sailor Moon (K) Sakura (H) 13. What do you most enjoy doing right now? Doing research for my cooking, exploring the city with by bike (W) Doing lives (K) Talking with the other members (H) 14. How do you relax? Reading a book while nestling into my bed (W) Yoga (K) While I am taking a bath (H) 15. What are you doing first thing in the morning? Mute my alarm at least twice (W) Open my curtains (K) I rub at my eyes (H) 16. What would your ideal off day be like? I’d take my time getting up, enjoy a relaxed breakfast, then I’d go see a movie and do some shopping and lastly, I’d have some fun in Disneyland! (W) I’d do some yoga and take a walk, I’d enjoy lunch on my open terrace and at night I’d have dinner with a good friend (K) I’d spend the day sleeping (H) [Surprise, surprise XD] 17. What made you cry lately? I got very emotional while talking to one of my friends (W) When I finally found a solution for something that was troubling me, I cried out of relief and immediately felt refreshed *laughs* (K) During an interview I was talking about our live performances, the thought of all these people coming to see our lives made me incredibly happy and brought tears to my eyes (H) 18. What’s something that surprised you lately? The high quality of children's clothing (W) A friend started to work on her abs and now her midsection is super thin (K) A bug was flying right at me (H) [Keiko as always obsessed with fitness! LOL at Hikaru being attacked by bugs] 19. What’s the most embarrassing thing that happened to you recently? When I tried on the aforementioned children’s clothing *laughs* (W) Eh? Nothing comes to mind... (K) Slipping even though there was nothing on the ground (H) 20. Is there anything you would like to start doing? I’d like to improve my English conversation skills and I would like to start mountain climbing (W) I wanna take cooking classes (K) I’d like to work on my tolerance for spicy food  (H) 21. One of the things you like about yourself? I am not shy in front of strangers (W) I am very positive and proactive (K) I think I have a very calm nature (H) 22. One thing you do not like about yourself? I worry too much about everything (W) I don’t think I am very smart (K) I am too indecisive (H) [You underestimate yourself, Keiko!!! You are always eager to learn new things!!] 23. What’s one of your habits? Pinching my nose after yawning (W) Putting on lip balm even though my lips aren’t dry (K) Talking in dialect. (H) 24. What can you not live without? Lip cream and a pair of fashionable glasses (W) Lip cream (K) Afternoon tea (H) 25. One of the “best” moments for you? When I am waving my arms and singing together with the audience (W) When I managed a smash while playing tennis! (K) When the three of us harmonise perfectly (H)

26. What’s something you are very particular about when it comes to yourself? I need to wear my favourite pyjamas when I am sleeping (W) The length of my bangs, down to the last millimeter (K) My eyebrows (H) [I wonder what Hikaru means by that? Does she always take extra care of her eyebrows? Or does she want them to look a particular way? o.O] 27. A daily habit of yours? Gargling (W) I always eat soup and yoghurt (K) Listening to music (H) 28. What’s something “weird” about you? When I am alone at karaoke, I will try to do some strange imitations but it won’t look anything like the original (W) Pretty much all day I am curling my toes. It’s rather troublesome (K) My sense of humour (H) [LOL at all three replies. I wanna see Wakana acting all weird and crazy in a karaoke room] 29. Something you can cook well? Spaghetti aglio e olio, simmered chicken with lemon cream (W) Spaghetti Napolitan (K) Amberjack Teriyaki (H) 30. What is your favourite fashion style? Black tights + shorts + tunic dress + jacket + fur muffler + beret + boots (W) An edgy rock style and a doll-y look (K) Cute + sexy (H) [Yup, Hikaru is always dressed in a very sexy way with all those see-through tops and such. I wouldn’t call her style cute tho. It’s more edgy and casual with a hint of sexiness if you ask me.] 31. Do you have any cosplay you'd like to try? Sailor Moon (W) Ruffy (K) · Cat (H) 32. What did you want to be as a child? Manga artist (w) Radio/TV announcer (K) Singer (H) 33. Where would you like to go on a date? Disneyland or a road trip (W) A place where it’s quiet and cosy with lots of greenery (K) Going to the places we both like (H) 34. What would a perfect proposal sound like? Something simple without being too stiff or too elaborate (W) "I want to cherish you for the rest of my lifetime" I really want someone to say this to me *laughs* “I would love to spend the rest of my life at your side” (H) 35. A place you wanna visit? Egypt! (W) L.A. (US) (K) Switzerland (H) [Yes Hikaru, come to Switzerland. It’s just a short trip to Austria from there XD] 36. Are you more of an “uke/passive” or “seme/active” type? Seme (W) Sometimes seme, sometimes uke (K) Both *laughs (H) [One track mind. All I am thinking of is yaoi/bl XD; I am actually surprised Wakana is the only one who sees herself as exclusively “seme”] 37. You are running late! What’s your excuse? I’ll apologise and come up with a tiny little lie along the lines of, "Sorry! I missed my stop!" (W) “I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I am sorry!” (K) Sorry I am late, I lost track of time looking at cute clothes (> _ <) (H) 38. You just won a hundred million yen in the lottery! What are you gonna do with it? I’ll put half of it aside for my savings, with the other half I’ll buy a house for my family and I’ll travel overseas with the members of Kalafina and our staff (W) I’d buy a plot of land (K) I’d save all of it (H) 39. You are in a tough spot and in need of help! Who do you want to come to your rescue? Doraemon (W) Ruffy (K) My family (H) [LOL at Kei’s and Wa’s answers] 40. What do you associate with the word "Love"? Victory! (W) Patience (K) Doesn’t want anything in return (H) 41. What do you associate with the word "Music"? Kalafina’s song "Ongaku" (W) Being tied together (K) Connections (H) 42. How would you encourage someone who is dealing with a difficult situation? It’s okay, you don’t have to say anything, don’t push yourself too hard! (W) I will be there for you when you are ready to talk (K) I know it hurts right now but things will get better! (H) 43. If you could make one wish, what would it be? I want to be able to fly up into the sky (W) I want peace for everyone on earth (K) Please let me live a good life! (H) 44. If the world were to end tomorrow, what would be your final meal? Gyoza! (W) Chirashi Sushi made by my mother (K) A meal surrounded by all my loved ones (H) [No surprise there at all, Wakana XD] 45. Please share a secret you have never shared before! I am a big old scaredy-cat! (W) It’s a secret (K) Truth is...I have a big mole on the sole of my foot (H) [Why so secretive, Keiko????] 46. What is your best memory in 2010? All our live performances!! Our lives in Tokyo, Nagoya and Osaka and of course our first Asia Tour!! (W) Having met so many people through Kalafina’s music, I feel like each and every person has become a part of me (K) Being able to meet so many people (H) 47. Describe the year with a single kanji/word! 充実/Completion!  (W) 学/Studying (K) 寅/Tiger (H) [No idea how to inerpret Hikaru’s answer o.O Edit: I should have made my troubles clear here. I am aware that Hikaru refers to the Chinese zodiac year, the kanji cannot be understood otherwise but I wonder how to interpret that. Does that year encompass certain things? Obviously with all kinds of zodiac signs, there are certain predictions and such but does she really refer to that? Seems like something Wakana would do o.O ] 48. A brief comment regarding Lisani! LIVE 2010!! Lisani! LIVE is the best! (W) For this final event of the year, we would like to sing for everyone and have fun together so that all of us can feel united! (K) I am happy to be able to participate in such a nice event! (H) 49. A brief message for all the fans who came to see you! Thank you everyone for coming!! Let's make it a memorable day!! (W) Thank you! I feel incredibly happy that I could spend these precious moments together with all of you! Until next time! (K) Thank you for coming to see us! I am happy that I can meet all of you! (H) 50. How are you gonna celebrate the finished event? Karaoke, Disneyland, Onsen! (W) At a restaurant that serves some good and dry ginger ale (K) Anywhere, as long as it’s fun! (H)

[heresjeonny]

EXO 101: A Crash Course

Park Chanyeol 

Soft baby by day, sexy mofo by night. Can do everything?? Sing, rap, dance, cook, act, write and produce music, play the guitar (classical, spanish, lead, and rhythm omg) and the piano and the drums, has the body of an elf king. He’s also AMAZING with children as shown [here - skip to 12:17 and WATCH you won’t regret it] and dogs too! All animals really. He’s Korean Snow White. With abs. And if Snow White was extra. 

Also the kindest soul ever. He’s always smiling, even when he’s down. He literally said, and I quote; “No matter how difficult something is, I will always be positive and smile like an idiot.” His then-girlfriend nicknamed him “Happy Virus.” Constantly buys his members gifts, is very tall (well over six feet), and he’s the most extroverted and sociable person - actually friends with everyone. 10/10 amazing human.  

Byun Baekhyun

Don’t let him fool you!!! He looks soft but he will fuck you up with his cheeky lil smile and pelvic sorcery and unearthly vocals and uGH. His wit is unparalleled like omg, so sassy and hilarious and sharp. Also a huge nerd when it comes to anime, manga, and video games. Once gave a picture of himself to another member as a gift, the lil shit.  

He’s incredibly passionate about his career and his members, and I think it was Kyungsoo who said that it’s Baek who keeps them all together at times. In summary: Byun Baekhyun is what happens when a demon and an angel do the do. 

D.O./Do Kyungsoo:

Do Kyungsoo? More like Do Me, Kyungsoo. I’m sorry I’m so thirsty Ksoo...I don’t even know where to begin with this one. First of all, he single-handedly saved the human race from extinction with his voice. He’s savage af, so much so that he’s affectionately nicknamed “Satansoo” and he will smack a bitch. He’s also so soft and squishy at the same time, you’ll get whiplash. And his acTING. Lord in heaven. And I believe he didn’t even have acting lessons?? The nerve of him. He, too, is sex on legs, and he might be quieter than the others, but y’all best listen when he talks cause boy bout to spill the tea. 

He’s also very paternal in that he takes care of the other members a lot, like when Kai, his roommate, isn’t feeling well, he’ll care for him or go out to get food for him. And he can cook really well. I’m gonna stop now before I end up writing an entire dissertation ;’)

Lay/Zhang Yixing

ALSO NOT PURE ABORT ABORT THIS IS NOT A DRILL. 

Oh my god. Anyway. Zhang Yixing is the perfect contradiction. On the one hand, he’s an actual baby lamb - laugh and all. On the other hand, he’s the human embodiment of the NC-17 rating. Like, hide yo kids. Yixing is also one of the Chinese members of EXO, so he often leaves to promote his solo music which is in Chinese, and he works so incredibly hard and deserves all the success. He also writes the lyrics, and composes and arranges the music! 

And...his dancing. Proof that god exists. There is literally no part of his body that Yixing does not have absolute command over - and you can see it because he is so precise, confident, and sexy. :’) 

Suho/Kim Junmyeon

I actually had to cover his face while writing this because holy--

Yup. Moving on. 

Actually, back to his face (and the rest of him): Remember when Da Vinci was conceptualizing the Vitruvian Man (lol only 90′s kids will remember...1490′s kids, that is). You know that picture of the guy with another pair of arms and legs superimposed on him, inside a circle? The drawing theorizing the ideal proportions of the human body? Yup, true story: Junmyeon was Da Vinci’s muse. Suho’s face is so symmetrical, it inspired mathematicians to write the golden ratio. He is a genetic miracle, a statistical outlier, a national treasure--

Anyway *sweats*. ALSO. Let’s talk about his personality. Myeon is the mom of EXO, the leader, so he’s naturally very parental. He actually chose the stage name “Suho” because it means guardian. He always does his best to keep his kids the members together and doing what they need to be doing. Always pays for things ($Junmoney$), and is the person a lot of them confide in and go to for comfort or advice, especially Sehun. 

He’s such a dad too - like his dad joke ratings are off the charts. 10/10 would build you a tree house and tuck you in at night. 

Oh Sehun

Maknae. Icon. Legend. Used to have a lisp. 

People sometimes think he’s cold or reserved because of his face, but as you can see in the gif, he’s literal sunshine. He once cried on stage because he was knocked on the head by a camera - but he wasn’t crying because the injury hurt, he was crying because he wasn’t allowed to perform because of it, and he felt like he was disappointing his fans. He also cried during a radio show when asked about his other members - he said every night before he falls asleep, he prays for them and he prays that they all stay together and are successful and happy. And now I’m crying. 

Everyone is in love with him. 

His dancing resurrected me from the dead, put my children through college, and ended world hunger because damn we are fed when that boy moves. 

Sehun was once invited to Paris for a Louis Vuitton fashion show and became king of France. I’m not kidding. All he did was show up, and there was a huge crowd already there to greet him as if he were royalty, and he was voted best dressed at the show by Vogue. He went to the Louvre, and people were studying and appreciating him, the actual art.  

Chen/Kim Jongdae

Ah, little dino bby. He’s iconic for many reasons: 

1) His smile. It curls up at the corners like this :}

2) When he laughs, he literally goes HAHAHAHAHA like wow, amazing, I want this as my ringtone

3) He screams a lot. Nickelodeon once made a show about him called Jongdae: The Last Pterodactyl. 

4) HIS VOCALS. Un-freaking-believable. He’s the male version of Mariah Carey. 

5) Speaks really good Chinese! (He’s Korean) 

6) An amazing human?? He donates to charity so often and he doesn’t do it for publicity either. He takes good care of the other members too. 

Jongdae, let me put a ring on it. 

Xiumin/Kim Minseok

HERE WE GO. My precious boy :’)

Minseok. The eldest. Also known as the best person to ever exist. Like Kyungsoo, he doesn’t talk much because he’s a shy lil bean, but once he warms up to you, the things that come out of his mouth are so deep and cute and funny and wowow I want ten of him

Is the least likely to cry

Was chubby (and so adorable!!) as a little kid, and now he has a six pack. Because of his weight as a kid though, he has spoken many times about the issue of body shaming and how people’s perceptions of a person shift based on how they look. He once said these words that made my cold, dead heart beat again: “I don’t have an ideal type. If our hearts match well, then she will look pretty to me.” 

Has the strongest arms in EXO. They all arm wrestled and he won and it was the funniest thing ever. 

Is not only an idol, he’s also getting his Ph.D. Dr. Kim. I can’t believe....

Wants to open his own coffee shop, and I don’t drink coffee, but I would chug any dish-water-coffee-grinds-filth that he would serve me because damn I love him. 

Kai/Kim Jongin

R00D MOTHERF*CKER. 

The Bias Wrecker. Or just your bias, plain and simple 

Kim Jongin is one of nature’s greatest accomplishments. His gams are the eighth wonder of the world - and he puts them to use when he dances, like please kick me in the face with those omfg 

His laugh. Astounding. Also don’t stand too close when he laughs because he will hit you. It’s just what he does lmao

He’s basically a hip young old man - so hot but so sleepy. He’ll sleep at any given opportunity. 

Very fond of fried chicken. And dogs. But not in terms of eating, for the latter

Learned ballet for ten years and it shows, and I just wANT TO SEE HIM IN A LEOTARD DAMMIT

He has darker skin than the other members which people used to make fun of him for and still do comment on, but he says he loves it and he is proud of his body :’) we are too bby!!

Other random facts: 

-  EXO originally had 12 members but 3 left and we’re not going to talk about it okay? okay

- Chen and Xiumin are married best friends. Xiumin actually said in an interview that Chen is “like my wife” 

- Sehun is now officially Lord Oh Sehun of Glencoe, Scotland because his fans are the most Extra and purchased the estate for his birthday :’) 

- Chanyeol once folded one hundred paper cranes for his girlfriend as a gift, but in the middle of doing this, she called him and broke up with him

- Baekhyun can’t cook for shit but at least he’s pretty 

- Kai dated F(X)’s Krystal 

- Kyungsoo once said to the camera that he is “not pure” 

- Yixing starred in a gay sci-fi movie where he and this other dude have a baby

- Suho is a health nut. Just like how girls always have pads and tampons on them, Suho has multivitamins 

For @the-porcelain-doll-xo because I’m the friend that wants to drag you into hell with me, and I can’t wait for you to get into EXO ahhhhh ily <33