#coming home to an empty apartment every day is definitely taking its toll on me during this time

[ionlycareaboutyou]

simultaneously Holding It Together and feeling overwhelmed by everything all the time

[fanficimagery]

Five Years After

Imagine going to the feed store for your sister, only you come home with more than just feed for the animals.

Words: 5.1K Author’s Note: The ending of this imagine was definitely inspired by a TikTok video :)

When the Blip happened, you were in complete disbelief. Chaos erupted all around as planes fell from the sky and automobiles crashed because their drivers had vanished into thin air. Everyone was a complete mess as they attempted to call loved ones, their calls going straight to voicemail or being answered by another family member that were having to deliver the bad news of a disappearance.

Your only living relative was your sister Laura and her children she had with her husband Clint, so when one of your co-workers and a handful of your customers vanished into thin air, your first call had been to your ex-Avenger of a brother-in-law. Unfortunately Clint was just as clueless as you and the phone had nearly slipped from your hand when he gave you the news that Laura and the kids had vanished. You had nowhere to go and were so scared because of the looting that had started, so Clint told you to pack your things and get to the farm as soon as possible.

You'd only been on the farm for a full day before Clint's friends came looking for him. Natasha, who you had met after your sister had married Clint, greeted you with a rather solemn hug. It was Steve Rogers, however, who attempted to introduce himself with as much joy as he possibly could in order to be polite.

You had shaken his hand, smiling sadly. "You don't need to force a smile for me, Rogers. The circumstances suck. I get it."

That had surprisingly pulled a short laugh from Natasha. "See, Steve? Told you she wouldn't be expecting the Man with a Plan."

Steve and Natasha had proceeded to stay for the duration of the day, telling Clint all about a fight that had taken place in Wakanda and who out of their friends had vanished. It was a devastating blow and you had no idea how everyone was going to cope. Then soon after the two Avengers had left, Clint went into overdrive. He was making phone calls left and right, packing bags and weapons, and you were at a complete loss.

You had decided to leave him be and it was only the following morning when you woke to an empty house did you find the letter on the kitchen counter. In the letter he had apologized for leaving you after everything that had happened, but went on to explain that there were criminals still out there who had survived the Blip when others who were sin-free didn't. He couldn't leave them be while people like his wife and children were no longer alive, so to work through his aggression he was going to hunt those criminals down. Fortunately enough, he left you in possession of the farm-house and made it so you were able to access his bank accounts. He told you not to look for him or get the others involved, so you waited a whole day before contacting Natasha and telling her all about Clint's derailment.

Clint left no trail, leaving you all alone. Or so you thought.

With Clint's vanishing act, Natasha and Steve made you their responsibility. They made sure you knew they were only a call or email away, but only after Nat drove down to give you some technological devices since the regular power grid was fluctuating. Since Earth lost half its population, everything seemed to be falling apart.

Then Tony Stark was brought back home and the world seemed a little bit brighter.

For years you drifted, working at a grocery store in town to keep yourself busy. The Blip took a toll on everyone, but it was nice to have to talk to someone even if the other person moved on autopilot. Clint sent an email every other month from a burner email, so it was a dead end every time Natasha looked into it after you had forwarded it to her. And about the only news-worthy thing that had happened after the Blip was the announcement of Tony and Pepper Stark's baby girl Morgan. You didn't know the Stark's personally, but it didn't stop you from sending their little girl a present every year on her birthday for the next five years on behalf of yourself and the Barton family.

One morning you're sitting at the breakfast table when you hear the telltale sounds of a jet overheard. You figure it's just Natasha and Steve for their monthly check-in so you think nothing of it.

The screen door creaks open and you call out, "In the kitchen!"

The steps of what sounds like more than one person falter, but then they pick back up until they near your location. "Got enough for another plate?" That oh so familiar timber makes you spew orange juice across the table. You're up and out of your seat, staring at your brother-in-law who's a lot more tatted up than you remember him being. "Hey, sis."

Tony Stark stands just a couple feet to Clint's right, but his presence isn't enough to deter you from marching up to your brother-in-law and punching his shoulder. "You asshole!" You punch him again for good measure as tears sting your eyes. "You left me. You left me all alone! How could you-"

He dodges your continuous blows, wrapping his arms around you to keep you from attacking him. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry, but I'm here now. It's all going to be okay." The fight instantly drains out of you as you sag into his embrace, sob after sob leaving you as you clutch to him tightly.

Clint tightens his grip a little more around you until your cries turn into sniffles. "What- what are you doing here?"

"Lang came up with a plan to bring our people back." You tense in Clint's arms and pull back to look him in the eyes. "Banner and Stark made the machines necessary to make the plan work. We're going to bring 'em home. We're going to bring 'em all home, Y/N."

"Please tell me you aren't joking," you mumble.

"Nope. No joke," Tony says. "It's not a total guarantee, but we're going to try our best." You let go of Clint and turn to look at Tony who's standing by the stove and picking at the leftover scrambled eggs. "Mmm. These are good. What'd you put in them?"

"Uhh, just butter and cheese."

"Morgan would absolutely love these. She's on this whole cheese kick right now."

That earns a chuckle, and after gathering yourself you look back at Clint. "So what's going to happen now?"

"The team's getting ready for a test run," Clint says. "I just wanted to let you know I was home and that we had a really important mission coming up."

"How soon?"

"Today if the test run goes good," Tony says. He pours himself half a glass of juice before downing it in one go. "And speaking of, we need to go."

You look at Clint, a little let down that he's leaving so soon, but he grins and pulls you back into a hug. "It's going to be okay." You nod against him and he lets his arms drop before he steps back. He looks around the kitchen and his grin widens. "You've kept up good with the house. I'm impressed."

"I should hope so," you mumble. "I had to flirt with the hardware store boy so he'd help me keep the house from falling apart."

Clint laughs. "You did good, Y/N. Laura will be proud."

"Yeah, yeah. Now go bring my sister, niece, and nephews back."

"You got it, boss."

          - - - - - - - - - - 

You're grateful for the day off because it leaves you with time to clean the house from top to bottom. You need some way to burn off all your anxiousness and making sure the house looks good for your sister is one hell of a way to do just that.

You're not sure how long you'd been cleaning when you decide to take a break, and you head outside for some fresh air. You walk off the porch and onto the grass, tilting your face skyward as you inhale and exhale softly, your eyes closing. One moment all you can hear is the wind ruffling tree limbs and grass, and the next it's a cacophony of chirping birds.

Your eyes fly open and you're shocked to see the swarms of birds flying around in the sky. Sure there have been birds around after the Blip, but you've never seen so many together since then. You're too busy staring up into the sky that you don't see what appears to be ash take formation behind you.

"Aunt Y/N?" The timid voice makes your heart stop before you whirl around, your eyes widening at the sight of Lila glancing around in shock. "What's going on? Where's dad?"

"Lila?" You breathe out in awe. You stumble towards her, eyes glistening with tears. "They did it. They actually did it." You pull her into a hug, cries stuttering in your chest. As you hug her, you glance towards the open field where you see Laura appear, followed by Nathaniel and then Cooper. "Laura!"

You grip Lila's hand tight as the both of you break out into a run towards the rest of your family, you and Laura colliding with twin oomphs. The two of you are crying as Laura tries to work out what the hell happened and where Clint is, but before you can explain anything she's pulling her phone out of her pocket and dialing Clint's number. As she worries about getting her husband on the phone, you quickly hug Cooper and pick up Nathaniel to hold on your hip as you squeeze him in relief.

"Clint?" Laura sobs when he finally answers. "Clint, what's going on? I-" She stops talking all of a sudden and she looks at you, eyes wide.

"What happened?" You ask.

"I- I don't know. One second he was talking and then-" She cuts off, glancing at her children and shaking her head. "He just cut out."

You know all is not fine and that something terrible must have happened for Laura to trail off the way she did. But instead of worrying her kids, you offer a grin. "I'm sure it's fine. As clumsy as he is, he probably just dropped his phone." She forces a smile for her kids' benefit. "So why don't we go ahead and wait for him inside. I'll make something to eat while you guys relax and I'll catch you up on the five years you missed."

"Five years!?" Laura nearly shouts.

You wince. "Yeah. You guys missed a lot."

          - - - - - - - - - - 

For the next couple of hours you tell Laura all about the Blip and how half of Earth's population just disappeared- Avengers included. You tell her how Clint had you move in, and how you helped take care of the house and what few animals they had on the farm still while working at the local grocery store. You tell her all about Steve and Natasha, and how Tony Stark is now married with a daughter of his own.

"Wow." Laura chuckles. All the kids have fallen asleep around the living room, leaving Laura the time to finally ask, "And where was Clint this entire time? I noticed he brought you onto the farm, but then everything became about Steve and Nat."

You suck in a breath sharply. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice that."

"Y/N.."

"He went rogue." Her eyes widen and you wince. "He left me here with access to your bank account, which I only used to pay bills and buy groceries by the way, and not even Natasha could find him. He only came back when she tracked him down and told him there was a chance they could reverse the Blip."

"Oh Clint.." She sighs, shaking her head in disappointment.

The sound of a quinjet hovering makes you and Laura perk up, but you keep quiet so as to not wake the children. You and Laura meet each other's gazes before you carefully get up and tiptoe out of the living room, and then you're rushing out the front door and down onto the lawn.

The door drops down and then Laura is sprinting across the field to reach her husband. You joyously laugh, jogging over to catch up. But as Laura and Clint hug one another, sobbing, you turn your sights to Steve who's standing sheepishly off to the side. There are two others with him, but since you've yet to meet them you make your way towards the familiar.

"Hey Rogers. Good to see you in one piece."

He tiredly chuckles. "Y/N." You punch his arm and he opens them up so you can hug him. "How are you holding up?"

"Better now that I got my sister back," you muse. As you pull away, you glance behind him into the quinjet. "Hey, where's Natasha?" Steve's smile falls and your heart plummets into your stomach. You can practically read the answer in his eyes. "No.." You shake your head.

His breathing stutters before he clears his throat. "We, uh, we lost Tony too."

Your expression completely crumples then, but Steve is quick to pull you back into a hug. He lets you cry into his chest before Clint steals you away, and then you're crying into your brother-in-law's shoulder. Then once all the tears taper off, Steve introduces you and Laura to Wanda and Bucky.

"I'll be in contact with you about what Pepper decides to do," Steve tells Clint. "If you do anything for Nat, let me know."

Clint sniffles. "I will."

You, Clint, and Laura wave off Steve, Wanda, and Bucky as they return inside the quinjet and lift off.

"Come on," Clint then sighs. "I need to see the kids and then figure out a way to tell them all about auntie Nat's sacrifice."

"And plan a memorial," Laura says.

You frown. "This was not the homecoming I was hoping for."

After a few days of planning, Clint decides on a cookout with all the Avengers and close friends of Nat's invited. It was a couple of days before Tony's own memorial, so you were surprised when Pepper Stark showed up with Morgan in tow. You were happy to finally meet the young girl who you'd been sending gifts to and you gladly ended up on babysitting duty.

You had met more of Clint's ex-coworkers, but your attention always ended up back on the children. Then when it came time to say a few words on Natasha's behalf, you somehow ended up between Steve and Bucky as the children ran back to their respective parents with Steve tucking you into his side when the tears started.

Then when the day of Tony's memorial came, there were more guests than you had anticipated. So as Pepper and Morgan walked a small flower raft with an arc reactor replica on it and set it out on the water, you stood back with Laura and her family and waited in silence. And as the crowd dispersed, you mostly kept to yourself until you saw Steve walk out of Pepper's home in the oddest white and red suit you'd ever seen.

Walking up behind Steve, you nod at Bucky and Sam who grin at your presence. When Steve turns around, you chuckle. "Why do I got a feeling you're about to do something very stupid?"

He grins and adjusts his grip on the suitcase hanging by his side. "Someone's gotta return the stones to their original timeline."

"Mhm. Well be careful. Don't start any unnecessary fights."

"I'll try my best."

As he walks up onto the platform, you step back and nudge your arm against Bucky's. He smiles down on you and you stand by his side as you listen to Bruce who walks Steve through about what's going to happen. Bruce checks all his monitors, giving Steve the go-ahead when everything is fine. Steve nods, a mask of sorts opens up and wraps around his face, and he presses a button that had been in his hand. Bruce counts down the seconds before he flips a switch which is meant to bring Steve back, but nothing happens.

Bruce looks around his monitors and starts pressing some more buttons. "Where is he?" Sam asks.

"I don't know. He blew right by his time stamp. He should be here," Bruce says as he flips a few more switches.

Bucky sighs and you quickly glance at him, and he looks more resigned than anything as he turns to walk off.

Your attention goes to Bruce as your heart rate picks up. "Get him back."

"I'm trying."

"Get him the hell back!" Sam urges.

You and Sam are low-key panicking, but it's Bucky's calm voice that stops the both of you. "Y/N. Sam."

The two of you whirl around, gazes sliding towards where Bucky is staring off to. In the distance, on a stone bench by the water, there appears to be a man sitting there that wasn't there before. You and Sam stumble forward, and you squint your eyes, only to glance back at Bucky with wide eyes.

"Is that.."

"Go."

You share another look with Sam and he gestures for you to follow him. The two of you walk towards the man together and Sam stops just behind him as you walk around in front. When you get a good look at your friend who is way older than what he appeared to be a mere twenty seconds ago, your heart cracks just a little.

You try to force a smile, but it wobbles as an elderly Steve chuckles at you. "I'm really trying not to be so mad at you right now." Your voice cracks and he pats the spot next to him as you sniffle. You immediately sit next to him and take his left hand within your own two, a gleaming wedding band not going unnoticed. Your fingers trace it. "Was it at least a happy life?"

Steve pats your hand. "It was. It was the beautiful life I always dreamt of."

You take a moment for yourself, inhaling and exhaling deeply. "You know you were my complete impulse control, right? Who's going to stop me from trying to get into your best friend's pants now?"

There's a snort from behind you, but you don't bother giving Sam your attention. "Go easy on him," Steve tells you. "I'm not sure he even remembers how to flirt."

You grin as you lean your head on his shoulder. "I'm really going to miss you," you say after a beat. Another moment passes before you drop Steve's hand and sigh before you stand. "Well, um, I should get back my sister and Clint now." You meet his gaze and flash him a small smile. "It's going to suck not seeing you every month, but I'm really glad you found your happiness."

"Thank you, Y/N."

Your bottom lip wobbles again. "Goodbye, Steve."

As you walk away, you hold your head up high and nod to Sam when he looks at you to make sure you're okay. You continue walking, nodding at Bucky as you pass him up as well when you see Laura wave you over. "For the record, I still remember how to flirt." You stumble and and then hear Bucky chuckling quietly behind you.

"Goddamn super soldiers and your dog ears."

As the days turn into weeks, Clint and Laura offer you a permanent place on the farm now that everything seems to be going back to normal. He's promised to build you a small house on the property for all that you've done in the past five years, so in the meantime you've taken to bunking with Lila while Wanda took over the guest bedroom. Clint had also taken to bringing Bucky to the farm when he noticed the super soldier not coping as well as he was letting on, so you found yourself often sitting by the back pond with him as the two of you traded stories about Steve and yourselves.

Though you had originally joked about getting into Bucky's pants, you found yourself seeking friendship from him more than anything else and vice versa. So when you weren't working at the grocery store, you were watching the kids for Laura and Clint or hanging out with Bucky and Wanda. It was no surprise to anyone that the three of you latched on to one another after losing those that you did.

"Hey Y/N," Laura calls out. "Will you do me favor?"

You glance up as she walks out the front door, you and Wanda ceasing your conversation. You grin. "What do you need?"

"Lucky needs some dog food and we need a few bales of hay for the goats."

"Oh. Okay." You look towards Wanda. "Wanna go for the ride?"

She shrugs. "Sure."

"Thank you! You can just put it on the Barton tab at the store," Laura says. "Clint pays it monthly and I've already called ahead to let them know someone was going in to pick up some stuff we needed."

"Got it." Standing up, you pat down your pockets to make sure you have your keys, phone, and some cash. Realizing you have everything, you grin at your sister before walking down the porch steps. As you near your truck, you whistle at Bucky who was throwing knives at a target on the side of the barn. "Hey Buckaroo! We're heading into town. You wanna come?"

He throws the last knife in his hand before he turns to look at you. "Don't call me Buckaroo!" He shouts back as he makes his way towards you.

"Then stop lookin' so darn cute!"

Wanda snorts and you laugh as Bucky shakes his head at you. "One of these days he's going to flirt back and then what are you going to do?"

"Bend myself over the table and let him hit it from behind," you mumble. She snorts harder this time and your eyes widen when you see Bucky start to smirk.

As he nears the two of you, he says, "What did you say?"

"Nothing," you blurt. "Nothing at all. Wanda's just easily amused, is all."

His gaze slides to Wanda, but she shakes her head and doesn't tell him a word. You mentally sigh and praise her for being a good friend, and then you turn to walk towards your truck. Wanda readily heads for the back driver's side door while Bucky walks around to the passenger seat so he's seated next to you.

Once you're seated behind the wheel and the engine is turned on, you take a moment to find a decent song on the radio before driving. It's not too long of a drive and you find yourself pulling up to the local feed store not even three songs later.

Parking and cutting the engine right in front of the store, you turn towards Bucky. You know he's not a huge fan of being out in public, but you rather not have to flirt inside the store to get a helping hand. "Hey Buck, can you do me a favor and load up four of those large rectangular bales of hay and one bag of that dog food right next to it?" You see him tense. "I rather not have to flirt with the boy inside just so he'll help out."

He relaxes then and gives you a nod. "Yeah. Sure."

"Thanks. Just keep watch through the window. Wait 'til I give the signal for you to start loading up." He gives you another nod and you turn around to face Wanda. "Wanna head inside with me?"

Wanda grins and readily opens her door, you and Bucky following right after. But as you and Wanda head inside, Bucky remains by the tailgate of your truck and keeps watch through the large front window as you had said. Inside, Mr. Reeves is waiting by the cash register and keeping an eye on Bucky outside.

"Don't worry, Mr. Reeves. He's with me." Mr. Reeves glances at you, smiling in relief. "I need four large bales of hay and a fifty pound bag of dog food."

Mr. Reeves starts punching buttons on his register. "Alright, sweetheart. Is that going to be all for you?"

"Sure is. Um, Laura asked if you can put it on the tab? Clint will be by at the end of the week."

"Sure thing." You turn towards the window and give Bucky a thumbs up. He turns to open the tailgate and then move towards the bales of hay to start loading up. Mr. Reeves chuckles. "That's a strong fella you got there."

His words make you blush and Wanda giggle, but you can't even reprimand your friend because she is further away than you expected. She's leaning over what appears to be a warming box, hand inside as she smiles down at something you can't see. "Whatcha got there, Red?"

Her smile widens as you hear small chirps. "Ducklings."

You walk over to her, peering inside and your heart absolutely melts. Inside are the cutest ducklings you've ever seen and you know you're done for when you set your hand down inside and one particular little duckling runs onto your palm.

Mr. Reeves walks over, chuckling. "They were hatched a few days ago. All have been looking mighty strong and are ready to go to good homes."

"How much?"

"Y/N," Wanda laughs. "What are you doing?"

"I'm taking this little sucker with me." You pick up your hand, duckling still happily nestled in your palm as you cradle him to your chest and look at Mr. Reeves. "Any chance you have those small plastic kiddie pools?"

"As a matter of fact I do," he muses.

Wanda is giggling the entire time Mr. Reeves gets exactly what you need, you nuzzling the yellow fuzzball to your face. You pay with your own money and sadly hand over the duckling when Mr. Reeves has to box her up. You then carefully take the box from him as Wanda takes the kiddie pool, and you walk behind her as you make your way to the truck.

You have absolutely no regrets about buying the duckling, but you still hide the box as you walk around the truck and open the driver's door. Wanda shoves the kiddie pool into the back with her and Bucky turns so his gaze darts between the both of you- Wanda looking far too amused and you looking a little sheepish as you continue to stand outside the truck.

"What did you do?" He sighs.

"Well we went in to just buy the food," Wanda says, "but-"

"I bought a duck." You blurt. You finally put the box in front of you, on the seat, and you open the lid. The duckling chirps and you beam down at her, picking her up and nuzzling her once more. "I'm gonna name her Flauta." Bucky snorts and Wanda laughs uncontrollably then. "No one tell Laura."

"Gonna be hard to hide her, doll."

Bucky reaches over to take the duckling from you and the sight of him cradling it, holding it up to his face and smiling makes you melt once more. Wanda is staring knowingly at you, but you don't even have the urge to flip her off because you know you're fucked. Instead, you take your phone out of your back pocket and snap a picture.

"That's my new wallpaper."

Bucky doesn't bother admonishing you for taking the picture, so after setting it as your wallpaper you put your phone away and climb into your truck. He holds onto the duckling as you make the drive back to the farm, Wanda giggling every now and then when you glance at Bucky and sigh longingly.

When you make it back to the farm, Clint and Laura are on the porch as the kids play out in the yard. They both stand as you park, their expressions turning suspicious as Wanda hops out of the back with the kiddie pool in tow. You grin as you hurriedly hop out as well, leaving Bucky to carry the incriminating evidence.

You can tell he expected as much as he watches you jog around to his side of the truck, already pointing at him through the opened window. "Bucky bought a duck!"

He shakes his head at you and you blow him a kiss, Clint and Laura then joining you by the truck. "Oh really?" Your brother-in-law muses.

"Yep."

"Mhm." Clint looks to Bucky as Laura bites back a grin. "Buck, what's the duck's name?"

Without missing a beat, he says, "Flauta."

Laura finally laughs. "Nice try, Y/N." As Bucky and Wanda guess how Laura knew, she says, "When we were younger, Y/N did the same thing but with a turtle. She named him Taquito."

"And Taquito lived a long and happy life until we went off to college," you say. "Flauta will live just long, if not longer, here on the farm."

Clint chuckles and then takes the duckling from Bucky. He looks to Wanda and gestures for her to follow him. "Lets go get this little lady all set up. The kids are gonna have a blast."

Laura follows after them, but not before winking at you, and you shake your head as you're left alone with Bucky. He finally climbs out of the truck, shutting the door and then leaning against it. You nervously laugh as he smirks. "You threw me under the bus."

"I couldn't take the chance that they'd make me return Flauta." You pout. "I couldn't send her back, Buckaroo. I'd already named her."

He pushes off the truck, turning you around and laying his arm around your shoulders. For a moment you forget how to breathe. "You're just as bad as Steve."

"Oh whatever." You roll your eyes, grinning as your arm wraps around the back of his waist and start walking towards where Clint went. "Steve got you shot at. I momentarily put you in momma bear's crosshairs." He quietly chuckles. "And besides, I didn't hear you deny it. Admit it, Barnes, I'm growing on you."

"Like a fungus."

You pinch his side. "Oh fuck off." He fully laughs then. "Just you wait, Buckaroo. The day we decide to put sex on the list of things we should definitely be doing, I'm gonna withhold just because you're being an ass."

"You sure about that?" The teasing lilt to his voice suddenly makes you feel at unease. "You sure you won't immediately bend over the table and let me hit it from behind?"

Your face flames, but you can't help but laugh at your earlier words. When you manage to calm down, you can't help but say, "I hate you," as you finish making your way towards your family.

"Nice try, doll, but I'm calling bullshit."

[scuttle-buttle]

Chapter 2

WC: 1728

Rated: E

Chapter Tags: mentions of sexual themes, alcohol consumption, past relationships

🧠

You and Laszlo had easily fallen back in your work routine during the first week back. His course load was almost identical to that of the previous semester, and so he didn't mandate that you come to classes like he had during the fall. Even so, you insisted on attending like usual.

Taking your seat at the back of the lecture hall you watched as he moved around the front while he spoke. You were supposed to be sorting through the information cards the students had filled out. Not much was actually getting done, as you were highly distracted. His right hand typically found home in his trouser pocket so as not to draw attention. But his left? You licked your lips. Of course you loved both of his hands, but with his favoring the left side you developed a certain affinity for the limb. Oh what his hand was capable of, you reminisced.

Your sigh must have been louder than you anticipated, as Laszlo’s eyes snapped in your direction. “Perhaps if you are bored you should keep your noises of displeasure to yourself,” he said with a quirk of his brow. His face held a look of annoyance, but his eyes told you otherwise. He knew exactly what you were thinking about based on the sound you made and it amused him to no end. You knew he meant nothing by the harsh statement. He did so to maintain his staunch reputation in front of the class.

Biting your lip you issued a “sorry, professor.” Even from across the room you could see the brief flicker of heat in his eyes at your 'apology'. To everyone else the encounter would probably leave them shitting themselves, but you knew better. Even a small success such as this was to be celebrated in your mind.

You had been hoping that you could push Laszlo to be a bit rougher with you sometimes. He would often restrain himself when you were intimate, but you had an inkling that underneath he was just itching to let go. By no means were you ever left unsatisfied, he made damn sure of that. You wanted to kick things up a notch; you wanted to see what he was capable of.

He cleared his throat. Picking up where he left off, he began “as you can see, within psychology there is no single truth. No one theory that can fully or definitively explain who we are, why we are, or what becomes of us. That is why we must always ask of ourselves the purpose of our nature and our choices. This term will be a glimpse of seeking answers to our questions. In the meantime - you have a quiz on Monday for the parts of the brain and their functions. Do not be late or come with excuses, I do not give makeups often, if ever. Have a nice weekend.”

With that the young underclassmen all shuffled out to go spend their weekend most likely partying, rather than studying. You really couldn’t blame them, as this section of Introductory Psychology was in the late afternoon. As an undergrad you would have probably done the same on a Friday night.

Both you and Laszlo packed up your things from your respective areas of the room. Once the last student was gone he called out to you. “Sara and John want to meet up this evening, would you like to accompany them or do you have plans?”

“Will you be there too, or are you too busy with paperwork and stuff?” He had been complaining of having a list to work through this week with some new documentation requirement the university put out on the professors. You trek down the stairs to meet him by the front desk.

“I think it would be odd of me to invite you out in the event that I would not be there myself,” he quips back. His hand comes to rest on your side.

You hum in response. “I feel like I haven’t seen you all week.”

He chuckles at you, “you’ve spent every day with me.”

“You know what I mean.” Peering around to ensure no one was present, you lean up to give him a quick kiss. “What time do they want us there?”

He checks his phone for the text from John. “In half an hour.”

“Then we better get going before he hogs all the pretzels,” you crack.

The two of you made your way from the university to the old pub a few blocks down the road. Students didn’t come here often, as it was geared towards the older and less rowdy crowd. It was perfect for the four of you though. You had even gotten on with the owner, Cyrus, and his niece Joanna, who often worked the bar.

You sat in the booth next to Laszlo; Sara and John opposite you. The first 45 minutes or so were spent going over the events of the past week back. Eventually, the conversation slowed.

“I think I should get us another round. What do you say?” Sara asked the table. You slid out from your side offering to give her a hand with collecting the new beverages. Laszlo watched as you walked alongside her to the bar, laughing at something Cyrus had said to you. You always looked so beautiful when you were laughing.

“So…” John began, getting his attention. Laszlo turned to face his friend. “I heard a rumor.”

“You know I don’t put credence into such things, out with it John.” Clearly whatever he wanted to discuss he didn’t wish to say in front of your presence. Despite his words Laszlo did have some trepidation about the upcoming conversation. Could it be about you? Maybe you two weren’t being delicate enough with keeping the relationship subtle?

John looks over to the bar where you and Sara are still procuring the drinks. “Karen is in town.”

He relaxed at the turn of events. “Ah, yes. She is guest lecturing at the university while she conducts research of some kind in the city.” Laszlo is matter-of-fact in his response.

John studies him for a minute. He looks concerned. “It’s been what, four years since you last saw her? Or have you seen her yet?”

“I have not. Why do you ask?” He brings the near empty glass to his lips to take a sip of the harsh liquid.

“Well, Laszlo, I just mean that you two were serious for a long time before you moved out here. In fact I had figured you would settle down with her. You left her in Austria to come here, after all,” he explains quietly.

Laszlo cocks his head in confusion. “I don’t see how that would be a concern. The dissolution of our relationship was mutual - she stayed in Vienna; I came to New York. We did not want the strain of attempting something long distance and we both came to the same conclusion on the matter. And it has been four years, John, as you so kindly reminded me. I have moved on and I am quite content now.” His tone was nonchalant.

He is happy. You were vibrant, and thoughtful, and he couldn’t say that he had felt this lighthearted in years. His years with Karen were wonderful, but in truth they didn’t compare to what he had now with you. For once he felt hopeful for what the future with you could bring. It wasn’t as strong a consideration with Karen.

John holds up his hands as if to defend his words. “I’m glad for that, truly. She’s wonderful for you and I can see that. I just worry that Karen’s presence might cause a resurgence of emotions or whatnot with you. Sara and I would hate to see things fall apart for the two of you after everything,” he gestures towards where you stand with her. “Are you going to tell her about Karen?”

Laszlo nods in understanding. “I appreciate the concern, John. But I assure you, I view Karen strictly in professional terms now. I look forward to hearing about her studies here as they could be illuminating for my courses.” He sees movement from you and Sara as you begin your return. “I do not see myself withholding information regarding my past with Karen, but I don’t know that I find it necessary to bring it up as of yet.” John’s nod is faint, as though he disagrees but isn't willing to say so. The conversation is cut short by you setting drinks on the table.

You all stay another hour at the bar. Laszlo’s thigh rests against you, his right hand atop your own leg. Occasionally you can feel the way his thumb lightly strokes you through your jeans. He makes it hard to pay attention to what Sara is saying to the group; little bolts of lightning shoot up your leg and to your core. When your legs clench Laszlo doesn’t seem to notice.

Aside from the growing arousal within you, the soft clink of the index finger of his left hand grabs your attention. A steady tap tap tap as he hits the side of his whisky glass. The movement brings you back to your thoughts during his lecture earlier, how the thick digits with their calloused tips drive you absolutely mad when they brush against your skin. You swallow.

This time Laszlo is aware of your state. His eyes shift to you from where he sits to your left. The two of you hadn’t had time or energy to be intimate since that night he took you to Delmonicos. The lack has taken its toll as you give him that look.

Abruptly Laszlo faces the others. “I would hate to cut our evening short, but I have more paperwork to fill out by Monday for the Dean. I would rather get it done so that I may enjoy my weekend. John, Sara.” He nods his farewell as he nudges for you to move out of the booth. You hold back your giggle at his insistent need to get home.

John looks slightly confused with the suddenness of your departure. A look of understanding comes over him with a whisper from a smirking Sara. With a wave the two of you leave into the cold January night.

Tag list

@hardlyinteresting @lorna-d-m @livvyshmiv @somethingthatsaysbubbles @greeneyedblondie44 @unbeatablecurlgirl @apparrio @marchingicenotes7 @anteroom-of-death @bruhidaniel @lemairepstuff @thehuiabird @zemosimp05 @alindeluce @iamnotthecatladynextdoor @laura-naruto-fan1998 @trelaney @boneheadduluc @i-am-dead-inside-666 @fictionlandslanddreams @thatoneartgalsstuff @hb8301 @fandom-princess-forevermore @foggycandywitch @creme-bruhlee @andy-rocks

[laventae]

Serendipity

Summary: You accidentally bump into Suna once, then a second time, then a third time.... before it starts seeming like fate has already decided its course for the both of you.

Pairings: Suna Rintaro x F!reader

Genre: Mostly fluff, College/Uni au

Word count: 3.4k words

Part: 1 , (2) , (3) , (TBC)

(A/N: I suck at writing summaries but anyways. This is/was supposed to be part of my [HQ Boys - Pretending to be your boyfriend] series, but I really wanted to make this slightly longer than my usual one-shots. Also, this story will probably have every cheesy trope you know, so, proceed with caution and I’m sorry. I couldn’t help myself.)

THUD

THUD

THUD

THUD

‘Okay, what the fuck is going on?’ you think as you slowly try to open your eyes. 

Looking at your bedside table, you reach for your phone and check the time

7:35 A.M

‘Ugh... it’s too early for this shit...’ you think as you yawn.

You remember your shift at work starts at about 9 a.m., so you decide to sleep for a bit longer.

You place your phone back down on your bedside table, and turn in bed, covering your face with a pillow.

THUD

“Goddammit, what’s going on outside?!” you exclaim, getting out of your bed and heading for the front door.

You open the door hastily, and find your landlord standing in the hallway of your apartment building, then notice multiple moving boxes scattered around, and movers talking some of the boxes into the apartment opposite yours.

You’re both startled when you open the door, but she softens as soon as she notices it was you.

“Good morning, Mrs. Saito. What’s going on?” you ask her sleepily.

“Goodness, I’m sorry they woke you up as well, sweetheart. The new tenant told me they were moving in today but I didn’t know the movers were coming this early and causing this much of a ruckus!” she exclaims, looking like she was just as annoyed by the noise as you were.

“Well, the new tenant certainly didn’t make a good first impression, huh?” you say, trying to lighten the mood.

She chuckles softly, “I guess not. They’re not even here yet, so I’m just going to have to stay here until the movers are done” she sighs.

“Want me to make you a cup of coffee?”

“Oh, that’s alright, sweetheart, you should go back in and try to get some more sleep” she says, waving you back into your apartment.

You try to insist, but you feel too tired. Instead, you just nod and go back in, closing the door behind you.

Sighing, you head to your bedroom again; you figure you should try to get a bit more sleep in before you actually start getting ready for work.

-~-~-

After tossing and turning in bed for a couple of minutes, the noise wouldn’t get any quieter, so you thought you might as well get out of bed and head to your part-time job a bit earlier than usual.

You start getting ready, and make a quick cup of coffee to give Mrs. Saito on your way out. She thanks you and you go on your way.

When you first moved into your apartment about 2 years ago, you were able to find a pretty decent part-time job working as a barista at coffee shop nearby. It was only about two blocks away from where you lived, so it was super convenient; and a plus point, you were never late.

Checking your phone again, you notice the time

8:35 A.M

“It’s still so early...” you yawn as you take out your headphones and play some music to listen to while you walk to the coffee shop, talking your time.

After about 15 minutes of enjoying your morning walk, and window shopping on the stores along the way, you reach your destination and open the front door.

“Goodmorning, y/n!” you hear your boss call out to you as soon as you enter, “Early as usual, I see”

You chuckle as you head in his direction, “Oh, you know me, always excited to get to work!” you joke.

He laughs, “Yesterday was your last day of your second Uni semester, wasn’t it?” he asks you.

“Yeah, made it out in one piece thankfully”

He laughs again, “I’m sure you did well, I've seen how stressed out you’ve been about it but I also know how hard you’ve been studying, don’t worry” he assures you as he points to the chairs in the shop, silently asking you to help him out with setting them up.

“How do you know that?” you sigh, grabbing a few chairs and setting them down.

He stops what he’s doing and looks at you, “You think I didn’t notice the dark circles you kept coming in with, during every shift, for the past couple of weeks?”

“Was it that obvious?” your eyes widen.

“Definitely” he answers and you both laugh.

After setting up the last few chairs, your boss speaks up again, “Alright, why don’t you head in and get ready, I’ll just be out here setting up the register before we open in a couple of minutes”.

You nod and walk back to the staff locker area.

-~-~-

The day goes by slowly, as usual, and after a few hours, you take your break and head to the staff room locker area to relax and have a (late) breakfast.

‘I really need this right now’ you sigh as you take a sip of your coffee, feeling more tired than usual, and blame it on having to wake up super early that morning.

You check your phone and notice a text message.

1 NEW MESSAGE

You open it.

FROM ‘Wifeyy <3’: “Heyy! Call me when you're on your break!”

You smile and shake your head, dialing up her number.

It rings a couple of times before your best friend picks up.

“Hey y/n!!” she yells excitedly

“Hey Hina,” you laugh, “What’s up?”

“Just wanted to remind you that we are going out tonight to celebrate my birthday, you still remember, right?”

“Oh, was that today?” you joke

“Y/N!!!”

“I’m kidding, I'm kidding, you know I'll be there” you shake your head

“Good! I'll also be inviting some of my friends from Uni, but I want us to hangout still. It’s been a while since we’ve actually caught up. And I'm finally gonna be able to come to your city!”

The both of you actually met during your first year in University through mutual friends. Even though you both were in different majors, you hit it off right away. And after that, the both of you always tried to make time to hang out, whether it was between classes, during lunch breaks, or whenever the both of you had the time.

However, it was sometimes hard to meet up during weekends, since she lived in the city next to yours, so whenever she had the chance to come to your city, or you were able to go to hers, you guys would always spend it together.

“Yeah, I guess with exams and all it was hard for us to actually see each other”

“Exactly, anyways I’m excited for tonight!”

“Yeah, me too..!”

“Hey, do you sound more tired than usual, or is it just me?” she asks you, sounding worried.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I just woke up super early today, not willingly though” you sigh, “don't even ask, I'll tell you about it later”

“Alright... if you say so”

“Anyways, I gotta get back to work now, so, I’ll see you tonight, okay?”

“Alright! Dress sexy, okay? You promised we would dress up!”

“Yeah, yeah, I'll try my best” you both laugh before hanging up.

-~-~-

It was about 5 p.m when you finally reach your house, after leaving your part-time job, and finishing up some outdoor chores you had for the day.

You sigh as you get off the elevator to your floor.

You notice the empty hallway as you walk to your apartment; you suppose that the movers were already done and have left at this point.

You glance over to the door opposite yours at the end of the floor’s hallway.

‘I wonder if they're home yet...’ you think before you unlock the door of your apartment and go in.

You sigh as you place your groceries and bag on your kitchen island and start putting everything away.

You were supposed to meet Hina later tonight, at around 7 p.m, to celebrate her birthday. That meant you had a couple more hours to spend at home, so you decide to make some lunch/dinner and watch a movie on Netflix.

-~-~-

“Hey Hina, I’ll just go outside and answer this call real quick alright?” you try to call out to your friend as you get out of your chair, but she looks at you confused, the music playing loudly in the pub and the bustling of the people inside made it hard for her to hear your voice from across the table.

You point to your phone, and as realization hits her, she nods.

You attempt to make your way out of the pub, trying to worm between the people inside and make your way to the door. However, you suddenly run into someone before you reach the door, and accidentally drop their drink.

“I’m so sorry!” you tell them, looking up and noticing it was an old man, long white hair settling over his shoulders.

He looks annoyed at first but then his face relaxes when he sees you.

“I can pay for the drink!” you tell him apologetically.

“Oh, that’s alright, gorgeous, it was just a mistake” he answers you, smiling.

‘Okay...’ you think as you get a weird feeling in your gut.

“Would you like me to buy you-”

“Okay, Bye” you cut him off, smiling awkwardly, feeling uncomfortable with the way he was looking at you; you reach for the door and leave the pub.

It suddenly gets much quieter, and you feel yourself relax, finally being able to breathe.  

Honestly, you didn’t really get a call from anyone, you were just feeling tired, and wanted to take a break from all the noise.

You check the time on your phone,

11:54 P.M

You sigh, ‘I wanna go back home...’

It’s not that you weren’t having fun with Hina and her friends, but you were frankly not that close with them, and even though they are all very nice, having to be social for a long time takes a toll on your mental and physical strength sometimes.

Startled, you turn around when you hear the door of the pub open again behind you.

“Hey,” you hear Hina say as she approaches you, “is everything okay?”

“Yeah sorry, that was just my mom checking up on me” you lie to her, putting your phone back in your bag.

She nods, but you know she's slightly suspicious of your answer as she eyes you carefully

“You tired?” she asks you.

You chuckle nervously, ‘well, that didn’t take long’.

“Yeah, I'm really sorry, it’s getting late and it’s kind of been a long day”

She chuckles, “It’s okay, I thought your battery might have run out by now”

You couldn’t help but chuckle as well. Then you look at her apologetically.

“Yeah, I think I might head home for the night, is that alright with you?” you ask her, feeling bad you couldn’t stay longer.

She laughs and goes in to hug you goodbye, “You know it’s fine, I’m just glad I got to see you today! But, promise me we would hangout together again soon?”

You sigh, relieved, “you know I'd cancel any plans I have, just to see you” you shake your head as you hug her back.

“And promise me you’ll think about that date I wanna set you up on” she giggles as you both let go.

“Yeah, yeah, I'll think about it” you reply, used to her trying to set you up on these blind dates that you don’t necessarily really want to go to.

“Alright. You want me to call you a cab or walk you home?” she asks as you turn around and start leaving.

“No! It’s fine, my house is literally a couple of blocks away, go back! Have fun!” you say assuring her, and waving her to go back and hangout with her friends.

“Are you sure, y/n?”

“Yess! Go!” you tell her, and turn back around, walking away again.

-~-~-

After walking for a few minutes, you notice how quiet it was outside, except for the few open pubs you passed by earlier. I mean, it wasn’t really a huge surprise, it was getting pretty late, and almost all stores in the area were closed at that point. But, because you weren’t usually out that late at night all alone, it somehow made it feel even emptier and quieter.

You look up at the sky as you walk on the sidewalk and notice a few stars scattered along the night sky. It makes you smile and you close your eyes and take a deep breath.

‘I wonder how many of those are actually just satellites...’ you think to yourself as you open your eyes, and you can’t help but let out a small chuckle.

You feel your phone vibrate and notice you got a text message.

1 NEW MESSAGE

You open it.

FROM ‘Wifeyy <3’: “Heyy! Text me when you get home safe!”

You smile as you read the message, but then feel a sudden chill down your spine.

‘Weird...’

You put your phone down and suddenly start hearing faint footsteps behind you.

‘Alright, that’s fine... it’s just someone walking home as well’ you try to assure yourself but can’t help but still feel anxious.

After a few minutes, you still hear the foot steps behind you, slowly getting closer. That, somehow, making you feel more anxious.

‘I’m just overthinking this right?’

You try to increase your pace, to check if they really were following you. Even if they weren’t, you hope to try and lose them all together. It didn’t help that the way to your apartment would be to keep walking straight, and the alleys around the buildings on the way were blocked off at the ends, not making it any safer for you to try and find a way around.

But then you hear the person behind you increase their pace as well.

‘Fuck’ you think, feeling scared and panicked, ‘they're definitely following me, aren’t they?’

You panic as you think of what to do next, then decide to take out your phone and call someone.

‘Who the fuck do I call? Hina? The police? I-’

Your thoughts are interrupted when you hear someone yell something from the sidewalk on the other side of the street you were walking on.

Your head snaps to where the voice came from and you notice a guy running up to you, “Babe?”

You try to back away before the boy reaches you, but, “I’ve been waiting for you, what took you so long?” he asks, pulling you in for a hug.

“I don’t know yo-!”

“Someone’s following you” he whispers in your ear before letting you complete your sentence.

Your heart stops when you hear him say that and you begin to feel your eyes tear up.

He pulls away, looking at you, and you suddenly notice you stopped hearing the footsteps coming from behind you.

You look back and see a man standing in the middle of the street, your eyes widen when you notice his long white hair.

‘That’s the fucking creepy old guy from the pub, I knew he seemed off!’

“My name is Suna. I was just in that supermarket over there, on the other side of the street, when I noticed him following you” he tells you quietly, as he subtly points at a store behind him. You look over his shoulder and notice a small, old looking supermarket, with an ‘Open 24/7′ neon light flickering over it. “Do you want me to walk you back home?” the boy asks you, and your eyes snap back to him.

You’re then able to see him much clearer, his pale, yellow eyes looking into yours. He had a blank expression on his face but you could hear a hint of worry in his voice.

You feel a tear roll down your cheek and you hesitantly nod at him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, I'm here” you hear him say as he puts an arm around you, pulling you closer, and walks with you in the direction you were originally going in.

After a few moments, you hear the footsteps behind you, again, but this time they started to sound more distant, as if the creepy, old guy was walking away.

Your heart starts calming down a bit as you both walk silently for a few minutes.

You then feel the boy remove his arm from around you and you slightly stumble.

‘Was he supporting me this whole time..?’ you think to yourself as you try to steady yourself back on your own feet.

He turns around, “I’m sure he’s gone by now” he tells you, looking back at you.

You turn around to check as well, and feel yourself finally be able to breathe again when you don’t see anyone behind you. You look back at the boy and nod.

“You live around here?” he asks you and you finally notice where you were.  

Realizing you were only about a block away from your house, you stop.

“What?” the boy asks as he turns around to face you, when he realizes you weren't walking next to him anymore.

“This is me” you answer quickly, pointing to a random building you were standing in front of.

He was nice enough to help you back there, so, it's not that you weren’t thankful, but you were still feeling a bit anxious, and you didn’t want to take any chances.

“Oh,” the boy says, looking up at the building you pointed to, then looks back to you, “I'll watch you go in” he continues, putting his hands in his pockets.

“Oh, uhm, okay..” you nervously say, turning to the building.

‘Shit... I hope the entrance door isn’t locked...’

You reach for the door and push it.

‘Oh, thank god...’ you sigh, relieved.

You quickly turn back to look at him again, and notice his eyes following you.

“Thank you”

He just nods at you, a blank expression still on his face.

You get inside the building and the door closes behind you. You weren’t sure if he was looking so you make your way to the elevators. You pretend you pressed a button, hoping he stopped looking at you through the glass door at that point.

You look behind you and notice he wasn’t there anymore, so you run slowly towards the door and see him walking away.

You place a hand on your heart, and sigh again. You close your eyes and take a few deep breaths.

‘Why does it feel like it’s been a really long night...?’

You decide to wait for a few minutes, making sure he wouldn’t still be around the area when you try to run to where you actually lived. It was probably a couple of buildings away so, if you make a quick run for it, you think, you would definitely make it.

You open the glass door slowly and take a quick peak around the street.

‘Nobody’s here...’

You take a quick breath before you make a run for it.

As you thought, it easily took you a minute or two to get to your building. You quickly push the entrance door and run to elevators.  

As soon as it arrives, you get in and press the floor you lived on.

A few moments pass before the elevator doors open and you can't help but breathe a sigh of relief as you’re welcomed with your usual empty, but now comforting hallway.

You step out and head for your apartment when you notice someone standing at the door opposite yours at the end of that hallway, trying to unlock it.

‘Oh, it’s probably the new tenant...’ you think as you walk to your door.

It was pretty silent so you decide to at least welcome them, hoping it would make the awkward silence less... awkward.

“Hey,” you say turning to face them when you get to your door, “You’re the new tenant, righ-” but you quickly stop and your eyes widen when the person turns around to face you.

‘Wait, isn’t he the guy that just walked me back ‘home’??’

He still carried a blank expression on his face, but you notice his eyes slightly widen when he notices who you were as well.

‘Fuck, Fuck, Fuck... What do I say?’ you panic as you both stand there, looking at each other.

“Oh, you live here?” he breaks the silence, sounding pretty calm.

“Oh, yeah,” you say turning around and quickly unlock your door and go in, “Goodnight!” you yell, panicked. 

You accidentally make eye contact with him one last time before you swiftly close the front door, leaving him there, looking blankly at your apartment door instead.

‘He’s my new neighbor??’

(HQ Masterlist)

[suituuup]

pieces - chapter six

Five years ago, Chloe dropped off the face of the Earth. Beca didn’t expect to see her again dancing in a strip club, out of all places.

rated: E (drug use and emotional abuse in early chapters)

ao3 link

*

Chloe didn’t register any of it. Her ears were buzzing with adrenaline and her body felt like it wasn’t even her own anymore, but her legs worked on auto-pilot as she followed Beca to the car. 

As Jesse drove away from the club and Chloe somewhat calmed down, the situation slowly dawned onto her, sending her thoughts into a spiral. 

She had just fled from Marco. She probably didn’t have a job anymore. She was homeless. 

But before she could full-on panic, a gloved hand slid inside of hers, grounding her some. Her eyes flickered up and met Beca’s. “You’re okay. We’re heading to my apartment, you’ll stay in my guest bedroom.” 

All Chloe could muster was a weak nod. All of this felt surreal.

They arrived at Beca’s place less than ten minutes later, Jesse taking a left and driving into an underground parking lot. Once the car was parked, Chloe stepped out, standing back while Beca told Jesse to drive himself home and that she would come to pick up her car tomorrow. 

“I’m up on the twelfth floor,” Beca said as she hit the elevator button. 

“Is your hand okay?” Chloe asked, only remembering now that Beca punched Marco. 

Beca made a fist then splayed out her fingers, wincing a bit. “It’s not broken at least. I’ll be fine.” 

They stepped inside the elevator, Chloe’s eyes remaining fastened to the carpet as it rode up to the right floor. She followed Beca down the hall and stood back while she unlocked her door. Chloe stepped inside after her, her eyes scanning the huge open-plan space with floor to ceiling windows. 

She remained by the entrance while Beca went to get something from the kitchen, reappearing with something wrapped in a kitchen towel. “For your cheek.” 

Chloe nodded, taking it and pressing it to her cheekbone. 

“The bedroom is right there down the hall,” Beca directed, motioning for Chloe to follow her. She hooked a right and hit the lights, revealing a soberly decorated large room with a queen-sized bed. “I’ll go get you some clothes to sleep in.” 

Chloe nodded, stepping further inside the room and lowering herself on the edge of the mattress. She realized she was shaking slightly, but she couldn’t tell if it was from leftover adrenaline or her body starting to crave a hit. 

“Here,” Beca said as she rounded the corner, setting a pair of folded sweatpants, a simple t-shirt, and her Barden hoodie down on the comforter. “The bathroom is right across the hall, I put some clean towels on the counter if you want to take a shower, and a toothbrush. I have my own bathroom so feel free to use this one whenever you want. Help yourself to anything, the kitchen cupboards are stocked up with plenty of snacks and the fridge with sodas.” 

“Okay,” Chloe whispered, briefly meeting Beca’s eyes. “Thank you.” 

“You don’t need to thank me,” Beca assured her softly, casting her a small smile. “I’m heading to bed. I’ll see you in the morning?” 

Once again, Chloe nodded. She watched Beca step out of the room and stared blankly at the wall in front of her for a while until she started feeling the physical toll of the night’s events creep up on her. She stood up, stepping out of her stripper heels and unzipping her dress. A shower would wait until morning. After changing into the spare clothes Beca had lent her, Chloe swung by the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash her heavy make-up off. 

She crawled into bed a few minutes later, willing her body and mind to relax enough that she would find some sleep. The next hour was spent tossing and turning, trying to silence her craving for cocaine and her visceral need to bolt. 

But she didn’t have anywhere safe to go, or any money to buy anything. 

Chloe slipped out of bed and crossed the hall to the bathroom, opening the faucet and cupping her hands under it to gather some water to splash her face with. 

“Snap out of it,” she muttered to herself as she stared at her own reflection in the mirror, gripping the edges of the counter with both hands. 

Dark circles were permanently etched under her eyes from sleep deprivation thanks to the cocaine allowing her to go days without resting. Her cheeks were hollowed out from her weight loss and her skin a ghostly pale. She looked nearly ten years older than her actual age. 

Familiar voices wormed their way into her mind, chanting, whispering, cackling devilishly. 

Worthless. Ugly. Dumb.

A sob echoed against the bathroom walls as Chloe let go of the counter to hold her head between her hands, fingers pulling on her hair. 

“Pull yourself together,” she mumbled next as her mind warred with those parasites having made a home in her subconscious. “They’re lying.” 

Chloe knew trying to sleep was a lost battle, so she padded to the living room. If she couldn’t have cocaine, alcohol was the next best thing. Something strong, preferably, something that could muffle all those insecurities.

It took her less than two minutes to find Beca’s liquor cabinet, and she fished out a bottle of whiskey, plucking a tumbler from the cupboard above the sink. She reached for the remote and turned on the TV at a low volume so she could focus on something else than her own thoughts, settling for CNN as she poured herself a third of the glass and knocked it back. 

Familiar, comforting warmth filled her belly and spread to her limbs and chest as Chloe poured herself another, nursing this one slowly as she curled up on Beca’s couch. It took four drinks for exhaustion to gain the upper hand on Chloe’s anxiety, and she fell asleep on the couch, the near-empty bottle sitting on the coffee table. 

She woke up sometime later to someone shaking her shoulder. The light was bright behind her closed lids, and Chloe scrunched up her nose, curling up tighter on herself. 

“Chloe, wake up.” 

That voice didn’t belong to Marco. The realization drew Chloe’s mind from its foggy state and she opened her eyes to find Beca sitting in front of her. Slightly disoriented, Chloe slowly sat up. She caught sight of the bottle and guilt coupled with shame surged her insides. “I’ll--I’ll replace that.” 

Beca frowned. “What? No, that’s-- you don’t need to do that.” 

Chloe’s shoulders slumped. “I’m sorry, I couldn’t-- I was craving something, and…” she trailed off, inhaling sharply as she felt her chest constrict and tears burn her eyes. “I think-- I think I need help.” 

It was odd, that feeling of instant relief as soon as she uttered the words. As though a huge weight she didn’t know was there just lifted from her chest. 

“Okay.” Beca reached out to set her hand on Chloe’s knee. Her expression was soft, her eyes warm, and Chloe immediately felt comforted. “We’ll get you help. I was on the phone with a rehab upstate earlier, they have a spot on Monday.” 

Monday. As in three days from now. 

“I can’t-- I don’t have fifty grand, Beca, and there’s--there’s--” She cut herself off, shaking her head as emotions rose to her throat and made her voice waver. She needed to work. She needed to provide for her dad. “I have to work.” Upon catching Beca’s confused look, Chloe sucked in another deep breath. “My--my dad is sick. He has late-onset MS and they can’t afford treatment on their own.” 

Realization dawned on Beca’s features as she nodded slowly, empathy swirling in her gaze. “How much money is the treatment?” 

“I give them two thousand dollars a month to cover what’s left after insurance.” 

“Do you know their bank account information?” Beca asked as she grabbed her phone, swiping her thumb over the screen to unlock it. “I’ll set up an automatic transfer each first of the month.” 

Chloe’s mouth slowly opened in shock. “What?” She croaked out, her bottom lip trembling. “I can’t ask you to pay for it.” 

“You didn’t,” Beca said softly, glancing up. “I’m offering. And I’m covering the rehab cost as well.” 

Chloe blinked twice in slow succession. “I don’t-- I don’t--” she started to object, but reason quickly gained the upper hand. She couldn’t afford any of those things, and she couldn’t afford to stay like this, either. She was legitimately afraid she might die if she continued down that path. “I don’t know what to say except thank you, but that doesn’t seem like enough. I’ll pay you back though. Every cent of it.” 

“I don’t want you to worry about that,” Beca murmured, squeezing her knee gently as she gae Chloe a tight-lipped smile. “The best way you can thank me is by focusing on getting better.” 

A few tears rolled down Chloe’s cheeks, and she was at a loss for words for a little while as her heart swelled in her chest. 

She hadn’t felt that in a long time. 

“So um, next Monday?” She asked then, swiping her thumbs over her cheeks. 

“Yeah. It’s an hour drive away, I took my Monday morning off to drive you. The program is thirty days,” Beca explained. “The nurse I had on the phone told me that detoxing yourself on your own before that could be dangerous and advised against it. I wasn’t sure… what type of drug you’re taking, but she said it didn’t matter. You could go through a cold turkey kind of thing and while I’m not exactly comfortable with you continuing to use until then, it’s what’s best, according to her.” 

Chloe sniffled. “I don’t have any with me. Some of my stash is at the club and the rest is at Marco’s place.” 

“Right, um… do you know when he isn’t there? You probably need to get some stuff, right?” 

“He’s at the club most nights. Usually gets there from 9 pm, so we could go after?”

“I’ll text Luke and Jesse to come with us for reinforcements in case he’s there. I kneed the guy in the balls, he must be pretty pissed.” Beca cleared her throat, eyeing Chloe. “Will you be okay until tonight? You know, without taking anything?” 

Chloe nodded. “I’ll manage. I just need distractions or else I get really agitated.” 

“Okay. I can definitely help with that,” Beca said, taking her hand back. “I was gonna make breakfast, are you hungry?” 

“No, not really. I could drink a coffee, though? After I shower.” 

Beca smiled and pushed to her feet. “You got it. Take your time.” 

Trusting other people had been a recurring issue for Chloe in the past few years, but she willed herself not to start doubting Beca’s intentions. After her shower, Chloe headed back to the main room, her step faltering upon walking past an open door. She tentatively peered inside, quickly realizing this was Beca’s office. Her eyes popped wider at the sight of the five gramophones sitting on a shelf, among framed gold and platinum records. 

She stepped further inside to take a closer look, her heart making a painful lurch as her gaze fell on a picture of the Bellas after their first ICCA win. Chloe reached out to pluck the frame off the surface, a wave of nostalgia sweeping over her as she thought back to that day. 

“You okay?” 

Chloe jumped a little, glancing over her shoulder as she hastily but carefully placed the frame back where it had been. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to… I’m sorry.” 

“It’s fine, Chlo,” Beca assured her softly. She nodded towards the leather couch in the corner. “Have a seat, I’ll bring you your coffee.” 

Chloe nodded and crossed the room, admiring the hundreds of records neatly tucked in a built-in library on the opposite wall. 

“You can pick something to listen to, if you want,” Beca told her when she returned with two cups, twin curls of steam rising from them. She set Chloe’s on the small table in front of the couch and curled up on one end while Chloe picked a record. She ended up going for Rumours, one of her all-time favorite albums, and took it out, setting it on the record player. 

The opening chords of Dreams filled the room as she lowered the stylus on the edge, and she padded to the couch, cradling her mug between her palms. 

“Fleetwood Mac. Always been one of your favorite,” Beca observed with a soft expression as she lifted her mug to take a sip. “How are you feeling?” 

“I’m okay.” Chloe knew the first telltale signs of craving would hit her sometime around midday, but she would hang in there. “You made it, huh? To the top?” 

Beca broke eye-contact, her cheeks reddening. “I was lucky to come across amazing people throughout my career.” 

Chloe knew Beca’s sheer amount of raw talent was the root of her success, but Beca still seemed to be her humble self. “Do you speak to Aubrey often?” 

“Once in a while. More so in the past two weeks as we tried to figure out a way to help you. Otherwise, we still have the group chat, and we’re planning a reunion this summer.” 

“Oh,” Chloe let out upon finding out the girls still hung out together. Her heart ached in her chest over everything she had missed, but she only had herself to blame for that one.

“And you’ll be there,” Beca added with a soft smile. “With us.” 

Chloe swallowed the lump forming in her throat; the road to recovery was bound to be a long and tumultuous journey, but maybe having a goal in sight was what she needed to stay on track during low moments. 

“The nurse said cellphones wouldn’t be allowed for the first two weeks, but I’ll give you Aubrey’s number for the next two, okay? She would love to hear from you.” 

Chloe nodded, her lips curling in a hint of a smile. “Yeah, okay.”

She spent the rest of the afternoon hauled up in Beca’s office (she weirdly felt at ease there), curled up on the couch and listening to soothing records as her body and mind battled against an array of negative feelings and sensations. 

Around 10 pm, she and Beca drove to Marco’s place accompanied by Luke and Jesse. Chloe kept a key under the mat for those nights she was so drunk or high she usually forgot them at the club and was grateful to find it there. 

“I’ll be quick,” she told Beca, heading into the bedroom to get a duffle bag from the bottom of the dresser and throwing a bunch of comfy clothes into it. 

She knew that even if Marco did come home nothing would happen with Luke and Jesse being there, but that didn’t stop sweat from trickling down her back as she grabbed her essentials as quickly as she could. 

“Okay. I’ve got everything,” she said as she met them by the door about five minutes later, slightly out of breath. Her anxiety was through the roof, not lessening even when they got back into the car, but she tried not to let it show. 

It was only when she was able to take a hit back at Beca’s apartment that Chloe was able to calm herself down. 

“Are you alright?” Beca asked a while later when Chloe eventually emerged. 

She sat on the living-room couch, her laptop balanced on her thighs. 

Chloe nodded, tugging on her sleeves as she shuffled to sit on the end of it. She didn’t take as much as she used to, not seeking that euphoric state she needed while she was at work. Just enough to deal with the darkness swirling inside her. “Thank you.” 

“Are you hungry? I was thinking of ordering pizza, with pineapple on one half for you weirdo.” 

Chloe snickered. “Yeah, I could eat a little.” 

Monday came before Chloe realized. She packed a bag and slid in beside Beca, staring out the window most of the drive as they headed upstate. Nerves sprouted in her belly as Beca parked in front of the fancy-looking facility, and Chloe puffed out a breath. 

Beca cast her a reassuring smile. “I’ll go check in with you.” 

Nodding, Chloe stepped out and grabbed her bag from the trunk, slinging it over her shoulder. They walked through the glass sliding doors and headed towards the desk, where a friendly-looking man greeted them. 

“Hi, my name is Chloe Beale, I’m here, um, to start rehab.” 

She felt Beca’s fingers gently wrap around hers as the man checked his computer, and let her tense shoulders sag. 

“Right this way, I’ll show you to your room, Ms. Beale. Your friend can come, too.” 

“Thank you.” 

She didn’t let go of Beca’s hand as they followed the employee up some stairs and down the hall. The room was bright and spacious, with a queen-sized bed and an amazing view of the forest behind the building. Chloe set her bag down on the mattress and looked around as the man went through basic rules, giving him her phone when requested. Chloe would be allowed to call someone during bad days with the phone downstairs, though.

He left shortly after, and Chloe inhaled sharply as she turned towards Beca. “I guess I’ll write you a letter?” She asked, her voice wavering slightly. 

“I’d love that,” Beca murmured. “You’re going to nail this, Chlo. I’m just a phone call away if you need to talk, alright?” 

Chloe nodded. “Yeah.” She stepped up to Beca and pulled her into a hug, closing her eyes as she relished in their closeness. “I’ll see you in a month.” 

Beca backed away, smiling. Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “I’m so proud of you for doing this,” she whispered, squeezing Chloe’s hand as she took a step back. “See you in a month.” 

Chloe fought to hold onto her emotions until the door shut behind Beca, breaking down as soon as silence surrounded her. 

For the first time in six years, she was on her own, and the month ahead might be her hardest challenge, yet.

[rouiyan]

𝘕𝘐𝘎𝘏𝘛𝘚 𝘓𝘐𝘒𝘌 𝘛𝘏𝘌𝘚𝘌 [ 𝘭.𝘥𝘩 ]

⧏ part of the before i met you collective ⧐

synopsis: you hate donghyuck’s stupid, stupid temper and also his stupid, stupidly sincere apologies. and just when you think you can seamlessly quote every word to come from his jabbering mouth, he does the unthinkable.

✧ idol!lee donghyuck x (fem.) college student!reader ✧ established relationship au

✧ genres : fluff, angst, and then some Fluff ✧ word count : 3.4k ✧ disclaimers : minor swearing, like a three-worded phrase referring to sex

✧ author’s note — i was really invested in this at first and wrote the first three thousand words in one day but i lost motivation and finally finished it a week after haha.

“baby, i think we should talk about something.” 

donghyuck’s eyes peered quizzically down at yours, a slim anxiety shadowing his irises. “it’s nothing to worry about but…” he huffed a silent breath, a small smile easing across his features before gesturing for you to continue. his hair is mussed and his glasses are perched upon the bridge of his nose, a sight that you will always welcome with open arms. “well, after you come back from your tour, it’s gonna be our-“

“-second anniversary, i know, princess.” his face now donned a smirk akin to that of an angel’s. “yeah,” you breathed, taken aback a bit by your boyfriend’s straightforwardness, “it's just… i’m a bit tight on money right now so i was thinking we could do, like, thoughtful gifts? instead of something more expensive.” donghyuck’s eyes dimmed the slightest at the reason behind your suggestion, “if you’re ever tight on money, i could always lend you some, you know?” 

shuffling around the bed and positioning yourself so that you were on eye level with the boy, a chuckle seeped within your sigh, “that's ridiculous, hyuck. why would i borrow money from you to buy you a gift? then you’d just be buying yourself a gift.” laughing dryly along with him you settled down to bring the conversation back to the point, “i was thinking that when you come back, i could cook you up a big dinner of all your favorites. it’s been awhile since i last cooked for you. and i guess that could be my gift.”

“of course, baby, i’d love that,” his eyes bore into yours with so much love that it felt almost undeserving to be the one receiving it. he's always been one to give and forget to receive. shaking the thought that donghyuck’s love could ever be burdensome, you held his hands in yours, relief written in your expression. “and i’ll,” he continued with a playful lilt to his voice, “just have to find something that’s equally as heartfelt as a home- cooked meal.”

it’s nights like these that set your heart to peace, when he lets you be the big spoon for once and when his soft snores reverberate throughout your body, making you think of him and only him. your hand cards through his locks rhythmically and you wish for nothing to ever change the way he looks at you or the way your heart pulls for him.

your heartbeat is erratic, thumping wildly in your ears, as donghyuck’s yells resound through the phone. he’s not mad at you, per se, be he’s definitely mad at you. tears prickle at the edge of your eyes as you think, for the fifth time in the past hour, just how unfair he was being.

“y/n, look, i’m not asking much of you. just don’t bother me while i’m working.” you huff breaths because frankly, you find his attitude increasingly hard to deal with. he’s been on tour with nct 127 for almost three weeks now, and he’s decided, for whatever reason, that now was the perfect time to blow out his stresses upon you. it’s getting harder to suppress the oncoming hyperventilation so while he rambles about how inconvenient and how inconsiderate you’re proving to be, you hang up.

sitting down, you almost can feel your heart shrivel up like a dried fruit and you long to sink further into the sheets. the vibrations of your phone, lighting up again and again with his contact name, hyuck <3, make you feel even worse than it should. you pick up the call after his seventh try and without even letting him realize, you begin your pent up rant.

“lee donghyuck, for the love of god, can you put aside your inflated ego for just one second and realize how much of a dick you’re being? i checked the fucking time before i called you, you’re not working, you’re at your hotel, it’s eleven at night over there. i’m fed up with you taking out all your shit on me. i’m your girlfriend, not your punching bag, jesus christ.”

you stop to catch your breath when you realize the tears have unleashed themselves and are now running freely along the crevices of your face. you feel a sob bubbling up your throat and you willingly let it out, your phone dropping within the abyss of the bed. it’s sad, the way your body ricochets with ripples of wilting emotion, echoing the feelings that have waited too long and have expanded twofold in even the tiniest moments of weakness. clutching your chest, you crawl to where your phone landed, motions lacking energy and will. 

before you can reach your phone, a soft, “y/n,” fills the empty void of the room. it’s hard to hear but the second it fills your ears, your heart constricts in a way it never has before whenever donghyuck calls your name. your eyes are blurry and your head is suddenly so heavy, you doubt you’ll ever be able to lift it again. it takes you three tries before you successfully thumb the button to hang up.

it’s nights like these that set your heart on fire; the type of fire that burns and kills. the empty room, the empty apartment, engulfs your body as if it were a mere speck of dust, invisible to the naked eye. you feel tiny in ways that are so not cute and it’s that very thought that pierces your mind to the edge of exhaustion, your emotional escapade coming to an end.

with everything in consideration, donghyuck thinks he’s prepared, or as prepared as he could be, standing outside your apartment, waiting for you to open up. his heart is loud in his chest, almost begging for his attention, but he ignores the sensation and takes a deep breath. 

among all his hopes and dreams, he wishes the most to see you again. it’s not like he didn’t think he deserved it but the silent treatment had really taken a toll on him. and with the constant pang in his chest alerting him of his failures, he’s reminded that you’re feeling the same, if not double at the cost of his actions. so if you decide not to open up, despite him knowing deep down that you will, he understands.

donghyuck’s feet tap nervously on the ground, itching for him to do something, anything. to knock until his knuckles bleed or ram into the door with full force, he’s sure that would relieve the urges. his body aches to be in the same room as yours, the weeks apart tearing him inside out. he unlocks his phone, to pass the seconds or just to look at the last text he’d sent you three hours ago, still read and unreplied. i just landed. i’ll be at your place by 7.

he sighs, a deep and earthy tone to his voice, covered in the frustration and stresses that have been tensing his shoulders for the past two weeks, waiting for this day to come. he pockets his phone and rings the buzzer one more time before his hand drops limply down his side, now drumming a rapid beat upon his jeans. 

as the door before him swings open, he feels anything but ready. instead, he feels shy and embarrassed to show up at your door front. the many words he’d rehearsed over and over again on his flight back had escaped his memory altogether. you’re donned in a large tee that he recognizes as his, so large on you that he can’t see what shorts you’re wearing underneath or if you’re even wearing shorts. your hair is messy and unkempt, framing your face in a way that only he would think is cute. donghyuck suddenly feels overdressed in his jeans and an environmental awareness graphic tee that you had gifted him a while back, a black blazer carefully thrown over but then again, he only came here looking like this because it’s your second anniversary. he bites down on his lips as he realizes that instead, you may be feeling underdressed. 

the eye contact he holds is broken as you step aside to let him in and he notes the way your arms are folded over your middle indicating one of two things. either you really do feel underdressed or it’s a sign that you don’t want him touching you. he decides to play it safe and steps through the threshold of your apartment, walking right past you. he does, though, catch the brief look of expectancy followed by disappointment that creases your brows and he takes a subconscious step back as he tries to decide if he should go for the usual hug and kiss anyways. he immediately backtracks when he sees that the timing has already passed for a greeting, inwardly wincing at his awkwardness.

slipping his shoes off as you lock the door, donghyuck enters the living room beside you, eyes scanning the room that’s lit by only a singular standing lamp and the pinky orange hues of the sunset falling through your sheer curtains. he can smell food in the air, something on the stove or in the oven, and he takes a swerve to the kitchen, the table set aside brimming with an abundance side dishes and all his favorite meats, grilled to perfection. he also sees even more of the same food on the counter, packaged in stacks of tupperware, with the labels ‘127’ and ‘dream’ written on pastel post-its. of course, he thinks, even when your mad, you’re still as considerate as humanly possible.

he’s shifting on his weight, unsure of what to say or do to show you that he feels entirely undeserving of your kindness despite being undoubtedly upset at him. donghyuck wants to facepalm himself because you beat him to it.

“have you eaten yet?” your voice is light but laced with a solemness he wishes he could wash away. he watches as you clench and unclench the material of his shirt, an emotionally grounding mechanism of yours he’s noticed every time you're on the verge of breaking down. he clears his voice before answering, “no, let’s eat.”

he turns to sit at the table when he realizes that there’s only one serving of food on the table. one bowl of rice, one cup of water, cold without ice like he likes it, and enough side dishes for just one person. he knows you’re not petty enough to make him watch you eat all his favorite foods but he’s even more saddened by the fact that it’ll be the other way around. you don’t want to eat with him.

“are you not eating?” he questions, though he knows the answer. donghyuck is sure that all his past ancestors are frowning upon him. it’s only right that his eyes dim when you give him a shake of your head, taking steps to sit at the seat across from where he was to be seated. following suit, he sits down whilst asking, “why not?” 

“i’m not hungry, that’s all.”

“oh, i see.”

a thick silence follows and it feels almost suffocating for donghyuck to sit in. he wishes more than anything now to have the courage to tell you what he needs to say. the words are lodged too far down in his throat so he settles for a, “how have you been?” between consuming mouthfuls of rice and glancing up at you as he chews. he feels he can quite literally see the cogs turning in your head to figure out what to say and he thinks he also knows the answer you will conclude to. an, “i’ve been better,” confirms his thoughts, his years upon years experiences proving to be top notch. “how about you?” he hesitates before speaking and starts with a, “me too, been better,” but you knew that look like the back of your hand. he had something else to say.

the frown that sits upon your lips irritates donghyuck, having been his job to chase it away, so he hurries to finish his food, almost choking and deepening your frown. he inhales every last grain of rice, piece of meat, speck of crumb, and ounce of water before setting down the chopsticks, tummy full and mindset prepped, for real this time.

truth be told, it’s not everyday that you and him get into fights but he’s always the one that’s petty enough to start them, hence his adequate knowledge on what to say after, how to say it, when to say it. “y/n,” he starts and makes sure to give a pause to make sure your attention is all his; more or less you feel as if you already know his next words, slightly annoyed that your second anniversary will go down in history as just another of his many apologies. worst part was, you could never bring yourself to doubt his true intentions, no matter what he did.

“i’m not going to lie, i was annoyed at you for calling. i was frustrated and stressed from the workload but among all that i was also selfish, and inconsiderate. and yes, i was the biggest dick to the bestest girlfriend.” if anyone was to give the most sincere of apologies, you knew it was to be donghyuck. he had so many love languages, and people would usually interpret this as his touchy nature, but you knew more than anyone that his words seemed too poetic and too perfectly curated to be deemed inferior to his touches. 

donghyuck, himself, likes to think that all he knows about love is from you. he doesn’t just like to think but he knows, amongst the millions of other things he knows regarding his girlfriend, that you will be the only girl ever to make him want so much. you drag out his desires by a tenfold and equally bring out the best in him. it’s a fact he keeps to himself but ever so persistently, that you are the one that keeps him going, day and night. he’s never been much of a romanticist, but trust when he says that his love for you was slow and gradual in the most beautiful way. like honey and molasses dripping at a crawling pace only to sweeten up the surfaces it graces. his love for you ages like fine wine and savors like a setting sun against a backdrop of stars. you will never need a man more than you need donghyuck, and donghyuck, you.

with all above considered, heaving and placed in the most carefully constructed sentences, he almost bulldozes through the next speech he’s prepared, checking off the bullet points in his head as he’d goes. he’s a stuttering and leg-bouncing mess from the sheer nervousness of how to get this to play out exactly as it does in his head.

biting his lips, he dives in, “y/n, i know you. i really do. i’ve known you for almost a decade and i’ve spent most of that decade trying my best to get to know you, chasing after you until you saw me the way i saw you. the last two years have shown me that all the time i spent being hung up on you was beyond worth it. jeno told me i needed to move on because you’d never see me as more than a friend, renjun gave me a list of girls he thought would match with my personality better, and my managers honestly hated you. but for some reason, i never gave a fuck. and i think it’s because that i’ve always known that we were going to end up together somehow. but actually dating you, i think i’ve known, since exactly two years ago from today, that you were the one.”

your breath hitches, oh how wrong you were thinking you knew exactly what he was to say. you feel lightheaded and spontaneous at the same time, like a sickness birthed from sheer joy. it’s as if you could feel the blood coursing through your veins, suddenly hyper-aware of your surroundings, of him. your suspicions are there and your eyes start to widen in panic and doubt in place of your immediate happiness. donghyuck senses this and clears his throat to finish his long winded confession.

“we’re still young, baby, we have no need to rush into this. but i was thinking of what to give you for a two year anniversary that’s meaningful and conveys exactly how much i love you. the fight made it really clear for me though,” he tucks his hand into the inner pocket of his blazer and withdraws a simple tiffany blue box. “i was in new york, for just a night, but i was passing by the store and it just clicked. this-“ he opens the cased ring box to reveal a simple silver band, with the letters of his initials engraved along the inside, ”is a promise ring, from me to you. i promise you, that i will be the one to marry you. trust in me when i say that there is nothing else that comes to mind when i think of my future. my future is you, y/n, nothing can change that. not a petty fight, or my job and your education, or the media even. it’s me and you, baby, till the end of time.”

his eyes are shining with tears that mimic the ones spilling from your own tear ducts. a small laugh ruptured at the back of your throat at how he ended his little speech with such a cheesy line but you barely have time to recollect yourself before donghyuck takes the box in his hands and removes the ring from its hold. he slips your right hand into his with ease and tugs it closer to slide the ring onto your ring finger because, “we’re not actually engaged, more like pre-engaged.” his heart has such a close hold on yours as he reaches into his suit pocket again, your eyes widening at the prospect of yet another surprise. 

it’s another ring, the same fashion as the one on your finger except with your initials carved into the inner ring. at this point you can’t understand why donghyuck has such a nervous look on his face, you’d say yes to almost anything he asks of you in this state. “i would also like to know… if you would make the same promise to me.” you don’t even bother saying yes, just taking the ring into your own fingers and slotting it onto the ring finger on his right hand. his face flushes almost instantly at your bold actions, even if he was the one that practically proposed to you today.

it takes everything in you to suppress the smile that’s already washing over your face, worried you’ll ruin the moment by looking too gleeful. the man across from you looks about the same except he’s failing miserably at keeping the joy from lining his features, maybe on purpose. donghyuck may or may not be completely head over heels for you, now over the moon that the two of you were back on good terms. his chest is light and his head is a little sluggish, only thinking of you and you-related things, like he’s been drugged by … by your love. his head is reeling at the tight smile that is a dead giveaway to what you’re not expressing and the way your eyes glance down every two second at the ring on your finger. he takes a glance at it as well and his heart swells infinitely because he knows that there is one on his own finger as well. the internal dialogue that you’re having with him is clear as day. your eyes are sparkling as if to say ‘i love you,’ your toes are tapping lightly on his sock-clad ones as if to say ‘i love you,’ and he’s noticed that your position hasn’t changed in the last ten minutes despite your usually fidgety disposition; that itself, donghyuck reads as a giant ‘i fucking love you.’

needless to say, it’s nights like these that sear your heart with ecstasy every living, breathing moment. donghyuck doesn’t voice any opposition when you pull him to bed right after, not even bothering to place the dishes in the sink. naked in bed, his love for you is the closest thing he knows to home and your love for him, the same. you suppose that you may have been viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses that night, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t looking forward to the day the love of your life gets down on one knee to fulfill his promise, the very same day you were to say yes to fulfill yours. 

copyright © 2020 rouiyan all rights reserved.

[cafedanslanuit]

Hello! 12, Mystic Messenger, Jumin/reader

thanks for requesting! i hope you like it <3 @juminhan4ever

series: 500 followers event

pairing: Jumin x Reader [Mystic Messenger]

note: tw for alcoholism. set one year after V’s route.

song: Animal I Have Become - Three Days Grace

So what if you can see the darkest side of me? No one will ever change this animal I have become. Help me believe it’s not the real me

The first sign that startled you was during a dinner for two you had shared in his penthouse. While you were making conversation, he excused himself to bring another bottle of wine. That was when you realized he had emptied a bottle of wine by himself. His speech wasn’t slurred, his hand movement still practised and elegant when he eventually sent you out for the night. You let that slide, thinking he must have a higher tolerance to alcohol than you did, considering you hadn’t even finished your glass.

But then Jaehee had texted you out of the blue, confessing she had found an empty bottle of wine on the floor of Jumin’s car. Driver Kim made it sure to clean it every day after dropping Jumin home, so someone must have drank it the same day she found it. Taking into consideration the only person who had rode that car was her boss and it was only 10 am, she couldn’t help but get concerned.

You asked Jaehee to send Jumin away for at least half an hour while you searched inside his office. She did as told and guarded the door while you looked around. Aside from the photo of V, Rika and Jumin that made your heart clench due to everything that went down the past year, there wasn’t anything out of the blue. You sat on his chair and kicked the desk in frustration. A cling noise made you alert. You had checked the drawers and it was only filled with papers, where was that noise coming from? A few minutes later, you found a false bottom drawer, were there were at least five wine bottled hidden from sight. You left everything as you found it and then quietly left his office, telling Jaehee you would get back to her later. You wanted to confront Jumin by yourself, at least for the first time.

Jumin was, according to your quick online research, a functioning alcoholic. C&R was rising even when its resources had been used to the fight against Mint Eye. But ever since Jihyun had gone away, you could tell Jumin had changed. The news they couldn’t find a body in Rika’s apartment and Jumin’s failure to arrest the members of Mint Eye had taken a toll on him and now you felt dumb for not noticing his hobby had turned into an addiction. That’s why you decided to wait for him in his penthouse until he came back from work. As soon as you heard the door opening, you knew you were coming into a war. But it was all worth it if you could save him.

Jumin had never looked so distraught and furious when you told him he seemed to have an alcohol problem. He repeated it was just wine, and only the best kind. He mentioned C&R was doing great and he never missed any of his work meetings. He didn’t seem to listen to any word you were saying, angrily giving you evidence that he was fine, even if you knew he wasn’t. You took few steps until you were inches away from his face and inhaled deeply.

“Jumin, your breath stinks of alcohol. And it’s 6 pm on a Tuesday. How much have you drunk today?”

“I’m fine, why do you keep--”

“How much, Jumin?” you insisted. Jumin’s expression faltered and looked away from your face. After accepting you weren’t going to get an answer, you sighed. “Yeah. I figured that much”

“What do you want from me? I am doing what I can. C&R was in danger after the incident with Mint Eye and now we’re rising again. I don’t know why it’s a problem”

“It’s a problem because everyone relied on you. Me included. I…” you sighed. “You were the one in charge the intelligence unit. You were the one who lost your two best friends in the span of six months. And now you’re supposed to lead your company back to the top. The only problem there is that you’re doing it on your own.”

“What else am I supposed to do?” he asked, with a tired expression.

“Let me help” you said, taking Jumin’s hand and squeezing it. You weren’t sure if he actually blushed or it was just the warm colors from the sunset outside the penthouse’s windows.

“You know about management?” Jumin asked, this time his voice much softer and with a hint of humour that made you smile. You let go of his hand and put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I don’t, sorry. But I do want to be by your side through all this. I’ve been told I’m good at being supportive” you shrugged. Jumin smiled softly and you felt like you could breathe again. You closed the space between the two of you and hugged him, burying your face on the crook of his neck. Even if he did smell like alcohol, his perfume definitely made up for it.

Suddenly, you felt him tense again and before you could ask, he put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you away. You furrowed your eyebrows.

“You shouldn’t do that, it’s not proper. You’re waiting for Jihyun” he reminded you with a stern voice. You took his hands off your shoulders but didn’t try to take his hand again. Crossing your arms in front of your chest, you looked at him.

“Yeah” you sighed “Kind of? I mean, I really hope he’s okay wherever he is. But it’s been a year and we only knew each other for eleven days. I care about Jihyun a lot, sure... But this isn’t about him? You’ve been a good friend to me these past year. And not only to me, but to everyone else at the RFA as well. So if he decides to return, I’ll celebrate his recovery, really. But I’m no longer… waiting for him, I guess” you shrugged.

Jumin stayed in silence for what it felt an eternity. You certainly weren’t expecting that topic to come up when you decided to confront Jumin about his drinking. You may or may have not had been experiencing different kind of feelings whenever you two had friendly dinner dates, but had refused to act on it, knowing your past history with Jihyun would make it complicated for him, even if you had stopped receiving letters for the past four months. But some days, whenever Jumin chuckled at one of your jokes, you were hopeful. Maybe, one day…

No. Not now.

“You don’t have to think about that now” you assured him, scratching the back of your head. “Right now, we should just focus on you. Maybe we could start by setting an appointment with a therapist? Then we can go from there” you suggested.

Jumin took a deep breath and looked back at you once more. He cracked up the tiniest of smiles and nodded. Good. You both could figure out where to go next, as long as he knew he didn’t have to do things alone anymore.

[spnirwin]

Something Beautiful

Pairing: Eddie Diaz x Reader

Word Count: 1,900

Warnings: Mentions of death

A/N: Here’s a small dose of angst for your Saturday night! I apparently love making people feel a little sad, myself included. But hey, who doesn’t love a comforting Eddie?!

“Seriously, you guys, just shut up!” you said to your friends. You rolled your eyes at the six people whose faces were scrunched together on your phone screen. They were all vying for your attention, shouting over one another for a chance to be heard. 

“All I’m saying is,” your friend Casey said as she ripped the phone away from the others, “that you should give it a chance. Even if it turns into a one night thing.”

You shook your head in response to her suggestion. “I am absolutely not joining Tinder. And besides, I don’t…” you trailed off into silence. 

“You have to try again eventually.” Casey’s voice had softened while she spoke. “You can’t hang on to Jack forever. It’s been almost a year now.”

“Listen, I’m just not ready, okay?” you said, frustration seeping into your voice. “I don’t want to talk about this right now, it’s almost time for my shift.”

Casey took the phone back over to the rest of your friends as you stepped out of your car. You grabbed your duffle from the backseat and began walking up the driveway to the 118. Your friends continued chattering at you as you stepped inside, reached your locker, and began setting your things inside. 

“Hey guys, I gotta go,” you said, interrupting the current story being told. After another minute full of goodbyes and “I love you’s,” you finally hung up the phone. 

“They seem like a rowdy bunch,” said a voice beside you. You jumped, not realizing anyone was there. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Eddie chuckled. 

“It’s okay,” you replied, slightly breathless. “Yeah, they’re loud but they’re pretty great. They’re my old crew from back in Florida, actually.”

“Oh.” Eddie raised his eyebrows in slight surprise. “I didn’t realize you still spoke to them.”

“We’re pretty close. A little distance isn’t going to change that.” You shrugged, turning to face Eddie fully. 

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you leave Florida then? It clearly wasn’t a work issue,” he said, gesturing towards your phone. He seemed genuinely curious, but you weren’t ready to give him a straight answer. 

“I was running,” you said softly. “But that’s a story for a different time.” 

Eddie gave you a knowing look. “If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me.”

You gave him a small smile before turning and walking out of the room. As you went you reached up, searching for the chain hanging around your neck. When you found it you gripped the ring it was attached to, an instant feeling of calm washing over you. 

—

The 118 had been the place you called home for three months now. You had been convinced that a fresh start was what you needed, but being away from all of your friends and family in Florida had taken its toll on you. Your new crew had seen you struggling and taken it upon themselves to help ease your transition.

The level of gratitude you felt towards them for that act of kindness was unparalleled, but you felt guilty at the same time. They had no idea they were only getting a surface level version of you. You had walls built up so high that they didn’t even have a chance of reaching the real you on the other side. 

“So, you got any fun plans after shift?” You looked up from the journal you were scribbling in as Buck slid into the seat across the table from you. You were sitting in the kitchen, with everyone else in various positions throughout the room. 

“Nope, not today,” you replied. “I’ll probably just go home and catch up on some things I’ve been putting off. Like the massive pile of laundry sitting next to the washing machine.”

“Oh, come on!” Buck threw his hands up in exasperation. “It’s Saturday, you should be doing something fun. At least come out with us tonight. We’re going over to that bar on 24th Street to grab some beers. It’ll be fun.” He waggled his eyebrows at you and you rolled your eyes in response. 

“You should definitely come!” Hen agreed as she walked by. 

“Yeah, you never hang out with us!” Chimney’s voice had a noticeable whine to it and you found yourself on the verge of another eyeroll. 

“Lay off guys,” Eddie piped up from his position on the couch. “She’ll join if she wants to. I’m sure you pressuring her doesn’t make her want to come any more.”

You shot him a grateful look and he smiled in response. When you turned back to Buck you found him smiling, a hopeful look in his eyes. 

“We’ll see,” you sighed, and, sensing victory, he pumped his fist in the air. 

—

You took a deep breath as you approached the bar. Pausing in front of the doors, you looked up at the sign. It was named “Jack’s,” and you shook your head. It seemed there was no escape no matter how many miles you traveled. 

With another deep inhale you reached forward and pulled open the door. You spotted everyone immediately. They were the largest, loudest group in the small bar. You stepped into the room and caught the eye of Bobby. He shouted and waved you over and you complied, crossing the room quickly. 

You slipped into an empty seat next to Eddie as everyone greeted you. As you got settled he leaned closer and whispered to you. “I’m glad you decided to come.”

“Me too,” you replied with a smile. 

As the night progressed you found yourself loosening up with every sip of beer. By the time 10:00 had rolled around, mostly everyone had dispersed to various corners of the room to play pool or darts. Only you and Eddie remained seated at the table, chairs now turned to face each other. 

“So, are you ready to tell me that story yet?” Eddie inquired, shooting you a look. 

You sighed, picking at the label on your beer bottle. “Honestly, I don’t know.”

“You’re gonna have to tell it eventually, right?” Why not now? It’s just us here.” You looked up at him and found him looking back at you earnestly. 

“Okay,” you said, setting your beer down on the table. You chose your words carefully, unsure of where to begin. “When I graduated from the academy four years ago, I got super lucky with my placement. I got put at a firehouse in Tampa, Station 154. The crew there was amazing. They welcomed me into their family instantly, not unlike you guys.” You paused, gesturing around you. 

Eddie nodded with a smile and you continued. “I fit in there well, and grew to love each and every member of that crew. Some more than others.” A short laugh huffed out of you. “I started dating one of the other firefighters, Jack. He was my entire world. It was the best day of my life when he proposed to me. And then he died.” 

The words rushed out of you, unstoppable now that they had started. “It was a car accident. He didn’t even get to go out on duty. No, instead it was a thunderstorm. He hydroplaned, and it sent him into the other lane.” 

Despite your best efforts at holding them back, tears began to drip slowly down your cheeks. Eddie reached out and took your hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. “After that I saw him everywhere I looked. In our apartment, at work, at the grocery store. No matter where I went memories followed. I knew that if I wanted to survive Jack’s death I needed a fresh start. So I did what millions of people have done, and I came to LA.”

“Hey, I get it,” Eddie said. “I did the same exact thing, you know that.” You looked over at him and nodded. He had told you the story of how he and his son, Christopher, came to be in LA a while ago. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. Losing someone you love is never easy, but I’m proud of you for having the strength to tell me about it.”

A few more tears slipped down your cheeks as you gave him a small smile. “Thanks for listening. I haven’t talked to anyone about it that didn’t experience it with me. Saying it out loud like that definitely helped.” 

“I’m glad,” he said. “Hey...I have an idea. Want to get out of here? I have something I want to show you that I think will make you feel a little better.”

—

Twenty minutes later you were walking with Eddie down Santa Monica Pier. Despite having been in California for months, you hadn’t explored anything outside of the neighborhood surrounding your apartment. While you looked around you in awe, Eddie looked only at you. Despite having gone through some trials of his own, he couldn’t believe how strong you continued to be after losing your fiancé. 

You spent three hours exploring the pier, walking around and talking. As the night stretched on towards 2 AM Eddie made the executive decision to head home. He drove you straight to your apartment, declaring that it was too late for you to drive and he would help you get your car in the morning. 

He pulled up to your apartment building and put his truck in park. You took off your seatbelt, simultaneously turning to face him. “Thank you for tonight. I didn’t realize how much I needed this. I haven’t felt this at peace in a long time.”

You reached out and laced your fingers through his, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He smiled in response, no words needed. 

You pulled your hand away from his and opened the door. “Drive safe, okay?” you said before closing the door and walking into your building. 

He watched you walk up the steps and made sure the doors closed safely behind you before driving away. 

—

Over the course of the next several weeks you found yourself growing closer to Eddie with every waking minute you spent together. It was as if the night on the pier was a turning point and you were now sliding closer to something beautiful. 

You found yourself engaging in hidden looks and discreet touches throughout the course of your shifts together. Eddie was letting you take the reins, and for that you were appreciative. You hadn’t expected to be feeling this way for someone again so soon, but here you were anyway. 

You were once again standing outside of your apartment building, this time with Eddie joining you on the front steps. He was dropping you off after one of your now standard post-shift breakfasts. 

“Did you hear anything I just said?” he chuckled. 

“What?” You snapped back to reality and looked into Eddie’s amused eyes. “Sorry, I was just thinking about how I really want to kiss you right now.”

You took a step towards him and his smile faded into a more serious expression. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he asked, a concerned look in his eyes. 

You nodded as you stepped impossibly closer. “Positive.” 

He smiled as you leaned up and pressed your lips to his for the first time, a new beginning on the horizon. 

—

[jxst-saying]

Part 2 of the second choice calum one pleaseee omg

requests are open!! 

part one can be found here! 

“No, no. It’s fine. I’m not your second choice. It’s fine, really. I shouldn’t have said anything. I know.” With yet another wry laugh, Calum added, “I’m not even in the top ten to you, apparently.”

Your mouth opened and closed like a fish above water and the words that sat just underneath your tongue were too far out of reach. There was nothing that could be said to fix this. The damage had already been done and the rift was growing between you at a rate quicker than you could close. Calum stood up, brushing the remnants of the conversation and heartbreak off his black pants before heading out of the living room and towards his own. “Just––next time? Don’t bother telling me about the lucky guy. I don’t really want to know anymore.”

You weren’t sure if there would be a next time.

+

Eleven days.

Eleven days of eery silence and a discomforting quiet.

That’s how long it had been since you and the raven–haired man had talked.

You wished you could say that it wasn’t your fault, that you didn’t bring the stillness in with you like stray leaves stuck to the bottom of your tennis shoe. But it was. Your mind had been replaying his words on constant replay since he had left you in the middle of the living room eleven nights ago.

(“No, no. It’s fine. I’m not your second choice. It’s fine, really. I shouldn’t have said anything. I know. I’m not even in the top ten to you, apparently.”)

It was a nightmare that you couldn’t find your way out of, a terror that you couldn’t wake up from. The two of you sat in the kitchen area for breakfast: a bowl of Fruit Loops in your hands, an omelet in his own. More silence. This was the reality you now lived in with the person that you thought you knew better than you even knew yourself. But if that were the case, this situation wouldn’t have happened. It could have been avoided. Some kind near miss.

You could see him in your peripherals. Eyes stone cold. Tired. Lips pursed. Movements languid and sloppy from lack of sleep. Sitting on the kitchen countertop wasn’t exactly the most comfortable breakfast nook in the townhome, but it was the one that left enough space for you, the Silence, and Calum. Golden morning light filtered through the window opposite the dining table and cast a warm and bright glow throughout the room, splashing across Calum’s already sunkissed skin. The light barely reached your own feet, paint splatters of light here and there across the tarsals. Maybe this was your new Normal. You hoped with everything in you that wasn’t the case.

Scooting the chair back against the hardwood floor, Calum picked up the white empty plate and walked over to the sink adjacent to where you were perched. You scooted over an inch or two. “Sorry,” you mumbled as his arms brushed against you while placing the plate in the dishwasher. You were apologizing for more than just being in the way, but Calum ignored the subtext.

“You’re fine.”

And then he was turning around and leaving you and your colorful bowl of cereal alone in the kitchen and shutting his bedroom door behind him. Yeah. This was your new Normal.

Whatever Normal even meant.

+

Calum was out of the house, leaving it empty save for you and the Silence that clung to every square foot of the residence. Correction: It would be empty if the blonde man wasn’t sitting on your couch with his feet on the cushion as if he owned the place. (He didn’t.)

You sat on the loveseat across from the couch, your legs curled underneath you and your forearm propping you up on the armrest. Luke had turned on the television as soon as he arrived, putting on some crime documentary re–run. White noise. That was all it was to the both of them.

“I’m not gonna leave, you know,” he said.

You shrugged your shoulders.

“Not until you tell me what’s going on.”

“There’s nothing going on,” you answered. That wasn’t exactly a Lie. Granted, it wasn’t exactly the Truth either. “I told you that.”

Luke scoffed. “Yeah, and I don’t buy it. Where’s Calum?”

“Out.”

“What happened with the two of you?”

“Oh, please. Like Calum didn’t already tell you. I don’t see why you need my version of the story.”

“There are two sides to every story. Come on, Y/N, what happened? I’m your friend, too, you know. We’re all a family. You’re, like, the most important person in Calum’s life. Tell me.” Luke paused the television and turned to face you.

Maybe it was the fact that you were never really able to keep the Truth from Luke, that he was always able to worm it out of you in some way. It could have something to do with those eyes, or it could have something to do with the fact that the Silence was starting to take its toll on you. Fourteen days of it, and it might have been starting to break you. (But that was only a might. Really; it wasn’t a definite.) It was like a fog hanging in the air, like an early morning autumn mist, the kind that sticks around until the sun blasts its way through. But there was no sun and there was just the broken pieces of whatever used to live in this house.

Calum and Y/N.

That used to mean something.

You weren’t so sure that it did anymore.

“We haven’t talked in two weeks,” you started. “Not a word. I don’t really know what to say to make it all stop and to get back to normal. I know he isn’t going to try to fix it; it isn’t really his fault. I don’t think it’s anyone’s fault. It’s just something that happened. And now, we’re just––I don’t know––coexisting? If you can even call it that.”

He nodded his head. “He told you, didn’t he?”

You rolled your eyes. “Of course, all of you knew.”

“It’s kind of hard not to. I’m surprised you hadn’t figured it out yet. When the two of you moved into this place, we kind of thought that you would.”

“How am I supposed to figure out something when no words are said or hints are given?” You asked exasperatedly. It was like a supercut in your head. Glances here; nervous touches there; mumbled words scattered all around; a nostalgic comfort that you weren’t too sure you would find again. That was what Calum was, now that you think about it: your Comfort. A refuge of sorts. The place that you come home to at night.

Maybe that was the reason you were always so ready to run away from all the men (or were they boys?) you met in the late hours of the evening. Maybe it wasn’t your bed you were counting down the minutes until you could run into its warm and comforting embrace, but Calum’s. What if you just confused the two? What if you had always been confusing the two?

“You can’t honestly mean that.”

“I just––I don’t––how–––” You broke off your words like a shard of glass. There was really nothing you could say, not with the supercuts playing round and round in your head. You were seeing it all now––every moment with the quiet boy that was out of the house. “I don’t think I can fix it.”

Luke chuckled. “Of course, you can. You’re Y/N. He’s Calum. A smile from you would probably fix it all for him, you know. That’s how gone he is.”

So, that was what you did. You ran out of the house, tennis shoes flipped underneath your heel and holding on for dear life. There was only ever one place that Calum would stumble his way to whenever he went “out” no matter what mood he was in that day. 3.5 miles. That was how far you had to run. Theoretically, there was no rush. You knew that Calum would be there until the sun tucked itself into bed for the night, allowing the moon to have a turn at illuminating their universe. But it felt like you were running for your life. And maybe you were. Maybe this was the most important run of your life.

Your legs burned with the buildup of lactic acid and the lack of oxygen in your body, but you pushed through the near–excruciating pain nonetheless. This was It. This was Life. This was Death. This was Everything, wasn’t it? Calum had always been Everything. Houses and apartment buildings and cars and motorcycles and people passed by you in a blur like the kind with long–exposure photography. Your breath was labored, and your heart felt like C4 in your chest––bound to explode at any moment in time. Beads of sweat slid down the nape of your neck and in–between your scapula. Your skin was fire. Two miles in. One and a half miles to go. Home stretch.

Nearly running into a family with a baby stroller, you rounded the corner and sprinted the last mile. Black spots danced along your vision as you spied the green trees and open landscape in the distance. Birds chirped. The sun shone. White clouds hung like cotton candy in the sky. A storm cloud loomed on the horizon. Your tennis shoes were nearly entirely falling off your feet at this point, your toes curled around the fabric for grip. Five and a half minutes later and you were stepping foot into the park that Calum had escaped to. Pennington Memorial Park was lettered at the entrance in a golden ornate font against a black background.

Searching the park and the nearby playscapes and benches, you spied Calum at the opposite end sitting on a large and battered boulder. His head was hung low as he picked at the denim hem of his black jeans, his long legs criss–crossed underneath him like a child. The Silence had taken a toll on him, as well. That much was evident with his slumped posture and forlorn and tired eyes.

Your burning and exhausted legs brought you to the tan man, your half–on half–off shoes in front of his field of vision alerting him to your presence. Dirt, mud, and water were splashed across the white fabric like an unfortunate masterpiece. Calum continued to pull out the denim hem of his black jeans. The thread was easy to focus on. The thread kept him from looking at the all–too–familiar face of the girl in front of him and the eyes that he would more than likely find pity in.

He hated pity.

He didn’t it.

He didn’t want.

“You’re not a second choice,” you said. The Silence still sits comfortably between you and him. Would it ever leave? Maybe the only way to destroy the Silence was to fill it with the Truth. “You’re not my second choice. You never were. I just––I just never knew.”

“I don’t need your pity, YN.” His words are sharp like glass and bite like venom.

“I’m not pitying you. I’m telling the Truth.”

“Don’t tell me this just because you feel bad for me. I don’t need that. You shouldn’t have even come out here. I went out. I wanted space.”

“Calum, can you listen for one second? Please? You aren’t my second choice. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I’m trying to tell you that you’re all my choices. You’re one to infinity. You’re everything. You’re like my own personal infinity, you know? I thought––I thought that I would just find someone that I wanted out there. I thought that I could just find someone like you, and then when none of that worked and when I realized they weren’t anything like you, I just wanted to go home. I always just wanted to go home. And I thought that meant I wanted to go home––to the place, you know?––but what if I actually wanted to come to someone? To you? And that’s what I want now. I just want to go home with you. That’s what I’ve always wanted, I think. Please, let’s just go home.” You placed your arm and hand in the space between the two of you, outstretched like an olive branch ready to take his own.

He looked up at you now, his brown eyes all wide and searching like he was trying to figure out if this Truth was real or if it was some sort of consolation prize, something pitying. Pity would be worse than this Silence. He slides his legs out from underneath him and lets them hang off the white rock.

“Calum, let’s go home.”

Home.

Your home.

Right now, that sounded like a heaven on earth to Calum. A Paradise Lost.

“I’m not your second choice?” He asked tentatively, needing to hear it again like a hopeless melody stuck in his head.

You nodded with a happy smile kinking up the corners of your lips. “Never.”

His tan skin mingled with your own as he took your hand, the single touch sending a cascade of electric shocks through your fingertips and spinal column and heart and lungs until you were breathing in his electricity. He smiled. The Silence had disappeared. In its place was the Truth and You.

“Let’s go home.”

[shawnpetermuffins]

In Case You Didn't Know

(Based off In Case You Didn't Know by Brett Young)

Summary: Shawn's so in love with you, but he doesn't know how to say it.

A/n: this is all over the place, theres time jumps and flashbacks and no real distinction between them, so yeah. I actually really like this song and I might end up writing some more stories based off songs, so let me know if you want that.

Requested: no

Warnings: just fluff

***

I can't count the times / I almost said what's on my mind / but I didn't

She's sleeping soundly on the couch, head laying on the arm rest, blanket up to her shoulders. She's absolutely beautiful, I think to myself. Her hair falls messily in her face, lips parted with a soft snore, and even though she's covered, I know her arms are wrapped around her middle in an attempt to keep warm in this arctic apartment of mine. I make a mental note to turn on the heater after I take her up to bed. She couldn’t even make it through half of the movie before her eyes became heavy, and if I was interested in watching the movie, I wouldn’t have even noticed, but I was watching her the whole time. It’s the first time I’ve been able to see her this way, completely exhausted from studying for her exams, hair a mess, face bare and slightly red and blotchy from stress crying.

I want so badly to wake her sleeping figure and tell her to just quit, come on the road with me for the second leg of tour. I’ll take care of everything; I’ll take care of her. Anything she wants, it’s hers, no questions asked. But I can’t tell her that. Because no matter how stressed she is now, I know it doesn’t change how incandescently happy she is when she talks about her favorite class, her favorite professor. The way she talks about all the things she’s going to change when she finishes school.

Just the other day / wrote down all the things I’d say / but I couldn’t / I just couldn’t

Being with her only a few months, eight to be exact, I keep finding myself refraining from telling her how I feel. And I know that being on tour for six out of the eight months we’ve been together is definitely taking a toll on her, and me too. I’m never here when she needs me, and to see her the way she is right now, I know that I can’t keep these feelings from her much longer.

Because if she’s crying over a test that she’s about to take when I am here, I’m scared to know what she cries about when I’m not. Does she cry about me? About me not being here? When I left before, she held in the tears - so did I - but we’d only been together a month. Maybe she didn’t want to seem too attached. I know I didn’t, but Brian knows how much leaving her put me in this week long funk. I called and texted her constantly until I realized that doing that only made it even harder to be away from her. So I calmed a bit, not by choice, but by necessity.

Seeing her sleeping so peacefully, now curled in my sheets, hugging my pillow, I can’t help but smile. I could write a million songs just about this moments alone, and that’s exactly what I go back to the living room to do. To write yet another song about the girl in my bed, hoping and praying that she’ll still be there come daybreak.

Baby I know that you’ve been wondering / mmm, so here goes nothing / in case you didn’t know / baby I’m crazy ‘bout you

Sheets of paper litter the top of the piano, the coffee table, literally any surface that was once clear isn't now. I'm scribbling out a new lyric, and start strumming the melody that's been stuck in my head since she fell asleep next to me.

My mind is a jumbled mess. She has me feeling every possible emotion and I can't convey it in just one song. So every new idea gets written down and I hope I'll find a place for it in another song later. I'm going crazy, my mind working faster than my hand can write, and the song doesn't sound right with the guitar riff, but then it doesn't sound right with the piano. It's all wrong. None of it is good enough for her and I need it to be good enough.

And I would be lying if I said that I could live this life without you / even though / I don't tell you all the time / You had my heart a long, long time ago / in case you didn't know

I know it hasn't even been a year and I sound like a love sick puppy. And that if you ask anyone that doesn't know me personally, they'd say that this relationship is all for show. That I'm doing it for the publicity. That she's getting paid. None of it's true.

She's everything I have ever wanted. Ever needed. And its so hard for me to think back to even just nine months ago. I wonder how I did anything before her. How did I cope with my anxiety when she wasn't there coaxing me through it, lulling me back to reality and not the fucked up place my mind always wandered to?

If I can't think back to nine months ago, before she became my everything, how am I supposed to look forward and not see her in every possible situation that I could be put it?

The way you look tonight / that second glass of wine / that did it, mmm

Dinner at her apartment is everything. Except she won't let me actually cook. She's scared I'll burn the building down. Which, to be fair, could very well happen. So I'm only allowed to cut things, and of course pour her wine. She's stirring the rice while I sit at the little bar area, head resting in my hand while I stare lovingly at her. Her cheeks are slightly pink from both the heat from the stove and from the glass of red she's sipping from.

"You're staring," she says softly, and looks over at me.

I clear my throat and look down at my half empty glass, "Sorry. Can't help it. You're just so pretty."

She looked down at her outfit, and squinted skeptically at me. "Jeans and a two-sizes-too-big flannel? Oh yeah, I'm sure I look real cute," she replies sarcastically, with a disbelieving eye roll.

"You do," I say, matter-of-factly. "With you hair pulled up like that," I gesture to pony tail that was currently falling because she didn't wrap the rubber band around enough. "And your eyes just being as beautiful and bright as ever. How could I not stare at you forever?"

This causes her to become even more red, if that's possible, and I pull out my phone, swiftly snapping a picture of her because she is just so pretty and I want to see her like this forever.

"Stop it!" She whines, turning away from me.

"But you look so cute," I say, turning my phone around so she can see the vibrant blush on her cheeks.

She just shakes her head and takes another sip. I can't help but watch the way her lips curve around the lip of the glass, and my whole body tingles at the promise of those lips touching mine later.

There was something 'bout that kiss/ girl it did me in / got me thinking / I've been thinking

I pull her body close to mine when she puts the dishes in the sink. "Thank you for tonight," I mumble into her shoulder.

She hums and her hands cover mine on her stomach. "You're welcome bub. So glad you could make some time for a meal this week. I was starting to think you didn't eat," she says teasingly.

I manage a small apology, pressing my lips to the soft skin of her collar bone. I know I've been literally everywhere but with her this week and it's been killing me. But even just a night like this was enough to make me forget about all my stress up to this point.

She turns her head to face me and plays with my currently overfluffy curls. "I adore you, my little rockstar," she whispered into my hair.

I look up at her with a sleepy smile and hooded eyes. I only have a second to react before her lips press to mine in a soft, passionate kiss. And all I can think is that I could stay this way for the rest of my life and never get tired of the feel of her lips.

One of those things that I've been feeling / mmm, it's time you hear 'em

I'm still watching her as we wash the dishes together. She's washing, I'm drying. It's the simplest of systems, but it's also so domesticated and it makes me sad knowing that I can't give her that domestic life one day. Husband a d kids, nice suburban home to come to every night. I'm traveling too often to give her that simple life that she so desperately deserves, even though she's told me before that she doesn't care about that.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" She asks after washing the last plate, handing it to me. I smile sheepishly at the way she's leaning against the counter, one leg crossed in front of the other, hands playing with the neck of her shirt.

I finish drying the plate before I speak. I place the towel I was holding on the counter and reach for her hands. "Can I tell you something, pumpkin?"

You've got all of me / I belong to you / yeah you're my everything / in case you didn't know

"Anything," she squeezes my hands reassuringly.

I can't look into her eyes, so I stare at our linked hands and sigh contently at the feel of her small, soft, cold hands in my large, calloused, hot hands. I don't know why telling her this is so hard for me, it shouldn't be. I write about love all the time.

But I've never felt it. Not like this. Not when my heart feels like it's literally about to burst out of my chest when she smiles at me. Not when I can't help but stumble on my way to her because I'm staring so hard that I trip over my own feet. Not when an interviewer asks me what my favorite thing about going home is and my immediate thought is her. She's my home. Whether we live together or not. She's it. She's my everything and that's fucking terrifying. I never thought I would become this dependent on someone else.

"Bub, what's going on inside that beautiful head of yours?" She asks, breaking me from my own thoughts, trying to catch my eye.

I swallow the lump forming in my throat and finally meet her intense gaze. If I had to decipher what that look meant, I'd say she was looking at me the same way I look at her. With that endless amount of love, lust, compassion, and adoration that my expression hopefully conveys. Why she chose me of all the people to be with, I'll never know. But she did. So I say it.

"I love you," I finally manage to say, but it's so low I don't even know if she heard me.

She doesn't respond for a while and I'm searching her face for any sign that it'll give me, saying that I crossed a line, that we weren't ready. But just as I'm opening my mouth to apologize, her lips cover mine, tongue slipping effortlessly into my mouth. And I hold her body tight against me, so tight I don't think she can breathe properly, but she makes no move to leave my arms and I have no intention of letting her go. So I hold her while we kiss under the harsh light of her kitchen and I let out a low whimper when she goes to ultimately pull away.

"Say it again," she begs.

And I do, kissing her cheek. "I love you." Her nose, "I love you." Her forehead, "I love you." And finally, once again. Her lips. "I love you."

She sighs, eyes fluttering shut while her fingers trace my jaw and then the curves of my mouth, my nose. "I love you, too." She kisses both of my eyelids before she says it again. "I love you so much."

***

Tags: @curlyshawny @shawns-badreputation @anamariel2301 @bbellbagel @turtoix @tomshufflepuff @ivegotparticulartaste

I've literally been writing this since February and it's not even the way I wanted it 🤷‍♀️ but I hope you guys enjoyed reading it. A little fluff to counteract with the angst I gave y'all on Wednesday.

Like, reblog, and leave feedback!! 💙

[evak-fic-rec-turtleanon]

Evak Fics - Reconciliation

Read the tags as a few might be open ending. And in some of these they were still together in the beginning. Man, this list is angsty! I’m already planning on rereading them.

This will be under a read more.

Light by bri_ness (885 words) - Open ending. Even lays a beach towel down on the small patch of grass beside his apartment building’s parking lot, right beside the dumpster. He knows romance can thrive in spite of its setting. He looks at the stars, and he remembers. 

pull him back by hippopotamus (2k words) - “That’s my hoodie,” Isak says. “You left it at mine,” Even replies, as if Isak wasn’t fully aware of that. “And you didn’t ask for it back.” 

Resolution by bri_ness (2k words) - Isak's residency has him questioning his decision to be a doctor. When he's home for the holidays, he runs into Even, who gives him a new perspective. 

No One Knows Me Like You Do by obscurial (2.6k words) - He’s also shockingly sober, which only serves to remind him that fuck, he doesn’t even have an excuse for randomly messaging his ex-boyfriend of two years, out of the blue, at a socially unacceptable time to text your ex, if there even was one in the first place. 

Still Unformed by colazitron (3k words) - Even and Isak broke up a few years ago when Even moved to Germany to attend film school. Now he's moved back to Oslo. 

there's no one else I'd rather do this with by daddyhonkkk (3k words) - Even still has the extra Gabrielle ticket Isak got him for his birthday, but that was before they broke up. 

Like Breathing by BraveKate (3k words) - Even invites Isak to the premiere of his first movie. Part of a series but could be read as a standalone. 

left-handed by thekardemomme (3.5k words) - even always asks questions he doesn’t want to know the answers to. 

If Only by Stria (Asia117) (3.6k words) - Chatting with a random stranger that turns out to be your ex trope.

o night divine by thekardemomme (4k words) - This is the first Christmas in nearly five years that he’s spending without Isak, and while he still decorated his apartment and bought eggnog and spent an excruciating amount of time wrapping all of his gifts perfectly, the hole in his heart hasn’t gone unnoticed. 

Homesick by everything_else (4k words) - 5 times they take care of each other after the break up. +1 

Waking up to Nothing by dropdeadfox (4.6k words) - It’s been six months since Even has seen that grumpy- but- adorable pout on the most perfect pair of lips imaginable to men (and women). It’s been six months since he has heard that voice, it’s been six months since he has seen the most perfect, emerald- green eyes, gazing back at him. 

42 Seconds by thekardemomme (5k words) - Sunday is Isak’s ideal day. The day he looks forward to. This Sunday, Isak wakes up at 1pm, and the room is dark. The bed is empty and there’s no smell of breakfast. Even hasn’t slept next to him all week. The only thing that’s the same as every other Sunday for the past 23 months is the fact that Isak doesn’t want to get out of bed. 

Inbox: (1) New Email by scritch (6k words) - A story about falling back in love, one tweet, instagram post and email at a time 

the one where even says the wrong name by pansexuaIeven (6.5k words) - Even's getting married to Sonja, not Isak. The real question is: does he know that? Inspired by Friends. 

Shatter Me by givemesumaurgravy (6.6k words) - Even’s crying, he has been since the words ‘I slept with someone else’ left his mouth. To be honest, he’s been crying for hours since he got home from Mikael’s. Isak just sits there stoically and he says, “I’m not going to yell or any of that. I’m just going to make this really fucking awkward and uncomfortable for you.” “I want you to tell me everything that happened,” 

That look you give that guy by Lokkanel (7.4k words) - Isak and Even love each other in secret. It is almost thrilling at first, but when hiding and lying to their friends begin to take a toll on Even, Isak decides to end it all. He thinks he has taken the right decision, until Even eventually moves on with someone else. 

Calleth You, Cometh I by Kollakolan (8.4k words) - “Isak!” Mikaels pipes up. “Didn´t you two have a thing?” he turns to Even. A thing, Even thinks to himself. Yes, Isak and him definitely had a thing. They actually had a low-key thing going for years, but it never really turned into something more. The timing was never right.  

We Keep This Love in a Photograph by kapplebougher (8.7k words) - It's been four weeks since Isak and Even made the decision to call it off. Now, Isak's back in their apartment of seven years and he's supposed to be moving out, but then he stumbles upon some memories that makes doing that a little difficult. 

Our Steady True North by verlore_poplap (orphan_account) (9k words) - Five times Isak and Even were amicable; plus one time they just weren't. Plus an epilogue 

In Vino Veritas by Sabeley (9.9k words) - After seven years apart, Isak wakes up to find Even in his bed and a wedding ring on his finger.

What becomes of the broken hearted by Kikki1 (12k words) - Set many years after Skam ended. Isak is living the life he always dreamed of. He has a good job, amazing friends and a superhot boyfriend. But his heart is forever broken. 

we still fuck by evak1isak (13k words) - Isak and Even had broken up. Period. But they couldn’t keep their hands off each other.  

Heal My Heart for Christmas by iwritetropesnottragedies (recklesslee) (13.5k words) - It’s been ten years since Isak left his small town for the big city of Oslo with his father. He hardly even thought of his time there anymore. Until he received a letter from his mother asking him to come home for Christmas for the first time since he had left. 

in these deep solitudes and awful cells by hippopotamus (14k words) - it ends badly. so badly that they both wish they could forget about it. they meet again a few weeks later, and it’s hard to remember why it had to end. 

If I Should Fall Behind by MinilocIsland (14k words) -  The plan for tonight had been crystal clear. Stay close to his best friend, and steal her away if needed. Hold her hand through the ordeal of meeting Noora again for the first time in years. Then Even shows up – and suddenly, nothing goes the way it was supposed to.

The Good Side by lavenderlady by (15k words) - Isak got the good side of the break up. 

And after that and after that by Teatrolley (18k words) - They’re friends, and roommates, and exes. Then Even becomes single again 

you told me we were forever by Skamtrash (19k words) - they don’t exactly get back together. Isak finds out he's having a baby soon after Even breaks up with him so he makes the decision not to tell him. Except Even finds out on his own 3 years later. 

I'll be right beside you by hannakin (20k words) - ”It’s ironic isn’t it? I broke your heart and now mine is not working,” Isak continued. “Isak…” Even fought against the lump in his throat and the tears that burned behind his eyes. see the sequel below  

Don't Dream It's Over by hannakin (11k words) - WIP last update march 2019. A new chance at life for Isak and a new shot at love for them that Even is not going to waste. Not this time around. 

Let Me In by milk_o_vich (20k words) - Even’s eyes were wide and a little unfocused, flitting over Isak nervously. He was quiet for a long time, rain hitting the pavement outside, and Isak became kind of aware that Even must be freezing in his thin, damp t-shirt. Even pressed his lips together, then said, voice hoarse and quiet, “Can I stay here tonight?” 

Just give me a reason, just a little bit’s enough by Amfelia (21k words) - Even discovers life is not always shiny and bright, sometimes it is just really hard. 

shred by Jules1398 (22k words) - There were two versions of Isak Valtersen. The first Isak was the one that his friends knew. The second Isak, the real Isak, was much more complicated. He was trans, gay, and then there was his five year-old son, Adrian. Keeping the two Isaks separate wasn't that difficult. At least, not until he saw Even again. 

and you fight until the finish line carries you home by strangetowns (23k words) - “Did you love him?” Isak looked down at the glass in his hand, the wine he’d barely had any of. He shrugged, carefully noncommittal, and glanced at Even out of the corner of his eye, raising an eyebrow at his expression. “What, are you jealous?” “Hearing it makes me glad, actually.” “Why?” A beat of silence. Then - “You deserve all the chances at happiness you can get, Isak.”

We're Not Broken Just Bent by TotallyTinkerbell (26k words) - They had made a decision that didn’t fall easy on either of them. A decision that still kept Isak awake at night in his bed that was too big and in his kitchen that was too empty in the mornings. On the couch in front of his tv-cabinet which was void of Even’s film collection, and in his hallway which no longer had a dozen pairs of shoes in it. 

Self Control by nofeartina (28k words) - “I never meant to hurt you, Isak.” Without any pause Isak replies, “Well, you did.” He looks him in the eyes, and continues. “You fucked me up, Even.” 

Reflections by Laika_the_husband (30k words) - He started walking, listening to Even’s footsteps behind him. Fucking Even. Isak knew he didn’t do this on purpose, that it was just an episode, but he had just grown so tired of them. Every time Even relapsed Isak remembered how only a few years ago he had sworn to take care of him forever. How certain he had been, back then, that minute by minute would turn into day by day and week by week and year by year and then into forever. 

Different, but same by Crazyheart (31k words) - Isak and Even had broken up almost a year ago, and Even was devastated. At Easter he tried to get over it and went on a ski holiday with Yousef and Elias. At the cabin he met a guy that looked like Isak, except his dark, buzz cut hair, well trained body and rough, charismatic personality. The fact that he called himself Markus Simensen was even more confusing 

Scene Three, Take Two by folerdetdufoler (31k words) - Isak is 23, a student in the veterinary program at NMBU, and working an internship at a clinic in Kongsvinger. He hasn't seen Even in three years, but randomly bumps into him on the street when he's visiting his mom in Oslo. 

No day without it by skambition (32k words) - And his lips. Those goddamn lips. They brought back memories that Even had tried to forget about for like 10 years now, memories of laughing, smiling, kissing. 

and the whole world is empty by dreamer_of_dreams (45k words) - The conversations were always stilted and quiet and benignly untrue. The phone calls eventually petered out. So, Even did what he thought was right for Isak. On an ordinary Thursday, eating dinner next to each other on the couch, Even looked up from his bowl of noodles, glanced at the clock ticking 9.21 pm and said, “I think we should break up.” 

Every Minute Gets Easier by CrochetingWords (50k words) - His life had turned out beyond his wildest dreams. It was amazing, and when it got bad from time to time, that was still fine, it was still worth it, because the bad times were just a glimpse in their epic story and the good times were just so good, so pure, so abundant, that he knew they would make it through every struggle. Together. Which is why Isak never imagined his current situation: Filing an application for separation. 

Carry on by hannakin (52k words) - For a moment Even just looked at him. Beautiful, amazing Even who was the best thing that had ever happened to Isak. There were tears in his eyes too. When he shook his head sadly, one tear made its way down his cheek. “I think I want to break up” He finally whispered. 

God Only Knows (What I'd Do Without You) by sundaymournin (52k words) - the break up that would never really happen, but imagine if it did. If Even moved to Trondheim for Uni and returned a little over two years later. Imagine what Isak would do, who he would be, and what could've happened but definitely never would've. 

Love is a battlefield by Minutebyminute (56k words) - Love conquers all. Love defeats all. Sometimes love pulls you apart. Sometimes for a period in time, sometimes forever. And sometimes love is a battlefield.

I Feel It When You Don't Look At Me by photographer_of_thoughts (66k words) - A sequel. “I never wanted to leave without you, Even.” Isak whispered. “I know. But you did. And I let you go.” 

The Boy Who Couldn't Hold His Breath Underwater by patrick_ (camille0078) (102k words) - Now, Even is ready to own up to his mistakes and asks Isak if he wants to get back together again. Isak has no doubt about getting back together, but everyone else believes that he's just asking for more trouble. 

All Stories Are Echoes by sebastianL (felix_atticus) (123k words) - A love story. Because that's the kind of story it has to be. This is an Even who's grown up, who's had hard years since the last time we saw him, and who's trying to get his life back together on his own. This is about potential--realized or not--memory, bravery, movies, accidents, and the nature of stories. (I love this fic so much!)  

WIP - I'm not sure if they all are getting back together

Dysecdysis (a tender history in skin) by unsungyellowraincoat (9k words) - last update Feb 2019. Isak and Even are ex-boyfriends, but S3 never happened, so this is completely au. Terje Valtersen is recovering from a hemorrhagic stroke and that plays a big role in this story. 

We, who quietly bleed by howmanyisaksandevens (31k words) - last update May 2018. They break up, they get back together, they live happily ever after or so I choose to believe. 

The One That Got Away by cami_soul (37k words) - last update Sept 2019. In this AU Even never reached out to Isak on December 9. Isak never left the Christmas concert to go find Even. Even rejected all of Isak’s attempts to reach out to him. Isak came to accept Sonja’s statement that Even never really loved him. It is ten years later and Isak has just moved back to Oslo to work at the University of Oslo’s, Department of Medical Genetics. 

I swear that I will wake up next to you by dantetrieswriting (7k words) - last update July 2018. They were on-and-off for three years. Now two years have passed and Isak is 20 and in need of something exciting. An ad ropes him into booking a seat for a month long bus trip to Greece. It's new. It's interesting. It's cheap. Could it get any better? Yes it could. The ad didn't include the slight 6 foot blonde inconvenience going by the name of Even Bech Næsheim. And the fact that the inconvenience would be no more than five centimeters away from him at all times. Thirty days and 6 feet of sex on legs. 

There's nowhere i'd rather be by JustALittleBitOfYou (4k words) - last update March 2019. It's been a year since Even Bech Næsheim and Isak Valtersen broke-up. Well, technically, it's been a year since Isak sent Even away without a real reason. As they both try to rebuild their life, the Bech Næsheim siblings decide to host a one-week party in Mia's and Even's new couple's honor. Isak attends the party, without knowing the identity of the hosts. 

isak in the bathroom by sundaymournin (14k words) - 4/5 chapters posted. break-up fic where isak hides in the bathroom quite a bit, even is dating mikael, and everything is a bit off-center.

The Good Side by sundaymournin (12k words) - last update July 2018. The only thing Isak had in life was Even and the promise they’d made to each other when they were ten and twelve. Isak and Even used to date, broke up, but are still roommates. 

[indebetou-ghost]

I don’t know how I feel about this, but it’s my first attempt at anything involving actual TMA characters, so we all have to start somewhere. (That Lonely Eyes is coming soon)

          86 – Jonmartin – I’ll Walk You Home

       The Institute was quiet, save for the soft squishing noises that accompanied Jon’s every step. It sounded like his shoes were full of water, like he was stepping in mud, but no; that wet noise came from the hundreds of dead worms littering the floor of the institute- the rooms and the halls alike- that Jon was trying very hard to avoid stepping in, but one simply can’t accommodate for the worm-to-floor ratio when moving. It would involve copious amounts of tiptoeing, and though the Institute was mostly empty, he didn’t quite want to lower himself to that.

       It was definitely past closing hours, and Jon told Elias that he would go home just to get the man off his back, but in reality he didn’t really want to leave. The Institute felt like it was in safety limbo, as it were. It shouldn’t have felt safe, given that at any moment, any worm could slither back to life and deign to embed itself into Jon’s flesh like the rest of its kin seemed to enjoy doing. The Institute was full of worm corpses. It shouldn’t be safe, and yet-

       Yet it felt like the only safe place in the world, purely on virtue of surviving the whole ordeal. If the Institute could fortify itself against an eldritch horror of worm-like proportions than surely it could hold its own against any threat. Jon felt like his home just didn’t have that same quality. Sure, it was worm-free, always had been, but… it didn’t have the same warding atmosphere the Institute had. The Institute felt ominous on the best of days, but it also felt enveloping, beckoning. Nowhere else in the world felt like that right now.

       Still. Elias would have his head if he stayed in the Archives, so Jon made to leave.

       And on a stairwell that was remarkably free from worms, he saw Martin Blackwood.

       He looked about as tired as Jon felt, and the effect of exhaustion seemed to make the man physically droop. Shoulders slouched, slightly curled in on himself, even his hair, which was generally comprised of bouncy golden curls, was almost wilting. The day had taken a toll on everyone, after all. Jon was sure he looked a lot worse.

       “Hi, Jon,” Martin said, a few steps up. Jon had to crane his neck to look him in the face. “You heading home too?”

       “I… suppose I am, yes.” He replied. He climbed a few steps, and when he was level with Martin, the two of them wordlessly began walking together. It was more a solidarity thing than anything else, Jon reasoned. The loyalty of co-workers, monster-based trauma notwithstanding. Corridors passed, and the worms gradually started becoming more and more scarce. The silence became the air, and the air became silent, until Martin Blackwood seized the opportunity to break it.

       “This’ll be the first time I’ll be in my flat again since the whole Prentiss thing started.” He mused, voice rising above the silence. Jon probably should have spent less time thinking about the fact that words had been said, and more time thinking about the words, because by the time he responded, it was a beat too late for it to feel natural.

       “Oh, I suppose that’ll be… nice.” Oh, very eloquent. It was the exhaustion, and the will to be polite. He didn’t think either of them had the energy to be anything but civil right now, anyway, but Martin continued talking as if Jon had said something worth responding to.

       “I guess. It’s been more than a month. It’ll probably be dusty. God know what state my houseplants’ll be in.”

       “Better dusty than wormy.” Jon said, mostly without thinking. Martin actually huffed out a chuckle at that.

       “I’m pretty sure I’d prefer anything to the worms right now. I’d take spiders any day of the week.”

       “I think I’d settle for the worms out of those two options, actually.”

       “Spiders aren’t everyone’s cup of tea,” Martin smiled. The smile was quickly followed by a sigh, and the Institute door was in view. “Sometimes I think I see worms out of the corner of my eyes, you know? Even when it’s just light moving, or a cigarette butt on the footpath, or… just a bit of dust on the wind. At least now we know they’re all gone. Well, most of them are gone. Some could still be wriggling around, heaven forbid.”

       Jon hummed in affirmation, a quiet yes, and they were out into the night air. A far different chill to the bone-deep cold of the institute. At the end of their walk side by side, Martin turned to face Jon.

       “Right, well, safe home, Jon. Have a good night.”

       “Wait, Martin,” Jon found himself saying, and Martin took an aborted step forward before turning back to Jon.

       “What is it?”

       God, this was stupid.

       “Would you- that is, if you don’t mind, ah- can I walk you home?”

       Jon could feel the surprise radiating off Martin, and quickly backpedalled. “I-if you don’t want me to that’s fine, but, see, the thing is, after the worms I don’t think I-” Jon sighed and restarted mentally, went back, rewrote the sentence in his head. “I’d prefer not to walk alone, for a while. Just until I’m… far enough away from the institute. Is that alright?”

       Jon really didn’t expect Martin’s look of surprise to change into something more pleased, but he smiled something far too warm and happy to have come from today, and he nodded. “That’s- It’d be more than alright. I’d be glad for the company.”

       They walked.

       It was mostly companionable silence for the first few minutes, while Jon was trying to get his bearings on how, exactly, to actually start a conversation with Martin. They walked between lampposts, the sections of dark between the radius of light the zones of slight tension, the place where the hairs on the back of Jon’s neck stood up, but then Martin would smile at him, and the sudden surge of fear would dissipate.

       “So,” Martin eventually said, “How’re, the, uh, worm wounds? I mean, I assume they’re bad but… are you alright, is what I’m trying to say.”

       Jon could snap back at him, tell him that of course he wasn’t alright, that it was an idiotic question to ask, but… he doesn’t. He bites back a cruel comment, because Martin means well. He’s trying. It’s just conversation.

       “They hurt. But I’ll be fine. I’ll survive.” His answer is succinct and maybe a little sharp (he’ll blame that on the exhaustion) but Martin seems satisfied with it. After a beat, he adds to it. “I’m glad you’re mostly unscathed.”

       “So am I,” Martin says, and then his step falters for a second before he falls back into the same rhythm as Jon.” “Sorry, thought I saw something… moving. Probably nothing.”

       “Probably just a stray piece of string.” Jon says. “Or some particularly mobile dirt.”

       Martin chuckles at that. “Is it a worm, or is it some volatile debris? Place your bets!”

       Jon huffs amusedly in place of laughter, and shoots back, “That piece of plastic looks very like a worm, I think we’d better investigate to be sure.”

       “Be careful, that empty can could be full of them, lurking, waiting.”

       They laugh as they go on, and Jon finds it completely surreal. The sheer amount of stress he’s been through today seems to have come full circle, as now it feels just completely foreign. Hours ago, he decided that he couldn’t trust a soul in the Institute, but here he is now, not twenty four hours after being ravaged by flesh-eating worms, laughing with his equally traumatised co-worker about said worms. He thinks, if you don’t laugh you’ll cry, and that’s exactly the philosophy his tired mind latches onto, because every second spent with Martin is a second he doesn’t need to think about how he could have died today, or about the murder of Gertrude Robinson, or about the hold, the pressure he can feel exerted upon him by the Institute at large. He knows there’s something larger at play, some greater web he’s in the centre of, but at this very moment there is only him, Martin, and the ever-living traffic of London. It’s almost enough to forget about the holes in his skin and the gaps in his knowledge.

       Almost.

       “Watch out, that one looks very worm-like,” Martin starts, jovial, until he squints at the creature and stops. “Actually, I think that is a worm.”

       Jon stops too, and Martin’s right: it is a worm. A normal, pink worm, twisting and writhing on the footpath. “It is most definitely a worm.”

       They exchange glances, and look at the worm, and at each other.

       They cross the road just in case.

       The conversation fades after that, but the night is so filled with the sounds of London that Jon doesn’t really mind. There’s never a silent note to coax unpleasant thoughts from his head and that’s all he could ask for. Walking with Martin is… nice. It’s nice.

       They’re at Martin’s flat too soon, and suddenly there’s distance between them, and Martin’s walking up the stairs and Jon has to crane his neck to see his face again. He’s smiling, and looking so fondly that Jon can’t help but wonder if it’s actually directed at him.

       “Well, this is me. Thanks for walking with me, Jon. I think it did a lot of good.”

       “I… think so too. Thank you, Martin.”

       Before he finished his ascent to his building, Martin stopped and looked pensive for a second before descending the stairs again, and standing level with Jon once more. Quickly, and a little hesitantly, unsure, Martin pulled Jon into a hug, and Jon barely got to register the sensation before it was gone again. Martin was warm. He smelled faintly of lavender, and a little bit like tea bags.

       “Stay safe, Jon. Be careful on your way home.”

       “I will. Thank you.”

       Martin Blackwood disappeared into the darkness of the apartment building, and Jon made his way home. His mind was more at ease, and as he walked alone, the ghost of warmth around his body, he found that he wasn’t plagued by the worries of the past and the future. They were kept at bay for one blessed evening, and Jon thought that was enough.

It was more than enough.

[greennightspider]

Admit it.

Summary: Eric and his Dauntless acquaintance have a mutually beneficial sleeping arrangement. But what happens when one of them trips up on the status quo?

Previous Chapters: Hold Me, One Look was all it Took

Eric x Rae-Lynn (Rae for short)

Turns out, Eric’s tactic was to basically starve Rae-Lynn out. Ever since that night he hadn’t been back since. They would train together, eat together, work together, and Eric acted like nothing was out of the ordinary. Which of course pissed off Rae even more.

Rae hated that nights without Eric lying beside her gave her no rest. She found it frustrating that Eric had this… hold on her. Like she needed him to function. She would toss and turn tangled in the sheets, instinctively reaching behind her to find nothing but an empty space and unfulfilled longing. Rae missed the comfort of warm arms around her sides, the sound of another person breathing in the emptiness of her apartment. Hell, she even missed his snoring.

And Rae knew it was affecting him too. Oh no doubt. She saw the bags under his eyes grow darker with every passing day. Rae tried to cover her own with a bit of make-up, not wanting to give Eric the satisfaction of actually seeing his plan take a toll on her.

But in Eric’s mind, he knew she would be the one to break sooner or later, because damn him if he was nothing but disciplined.

Another long day in Dauntless, and Eric had just finished washing the sweat off his hardened body after a particularly grueling training session. The warm water felt good running down his skin, although it was no replacement for the warmth of Rae’s body next to his. Shaking the thoughts from his head he wrapped himself in a towel and headed to his locker. Eric reasoned that if he couldn’t sleep, might as well do something useful, hoping the exhaustion would also help his body and his mind find some rest in his bed. His...bed. Not hers.

This past week had been harder than he thought. His sleep schedule wasn’t great before the arrangement, but without his human hot water bottle snuggling into him at night, sleep came harder to him than it had ever done in the past.

But there was no freakin way he was going to cave in first.

Erica slammed his locker door shut, but when he did he found Rae behind it. One hand on the neighboring locker and other on the belt of her dark grey cargo pants, with her eyes locked to the floor.

“Okay so maybe you did see something.”

“Oh did I.” Eric drawled sarcastically, flipping one of his towels over his shoulder. Rae raised an eyebrow, chalking up the extra flare to the lack of sleep. “And what was that?”

“Look dude, you can’t expect to snuggle up to a girl shirtless every single night without her getting… ideas. I mean look at you!” Rae gestured at him wildly exasperated, to which Eric raised an eyebrow, chalking up her flare to her lack of sleep.

“What about me?”

Rae then slitted her baggy eyes at Eric, trying to pierce through his questioning gaze to discern if he was actually that oblivious or just wanted to embarrass her more. “Oh shut up you know damn well you’ve got a body I could grate cheese on, and most chicks here drool over whenever you’re in the ring, or just EXISTING.”

“Oh do they now?” Eric smirked as you rolled your eyes. Watching Rae fidget uncomfortably running her fingers through her tousled black hair and then around the back of her neck was definitely a win for him. It meant you were on the ropes.

“Yeah and well look a girl’s got needs and you ain’t hideous so….yknw… cant blame it if I get heated once in a while its just biology!” Rae whined with her shoulders slumped, eyes to the ceiling. Oh Eric loved when he got what he wanted.

She grimaced and tried to avoid his face while she scratched her head. “So we cool?”

“Ask me nicely. I wanna hear you say it.” Eric cut through Rae’s smoke and mirror tactics with a knife. After almost a week and a half of beating around the bush he wanted to hear her get to the point.

“…so can you come over or what?” Rae tiredly asked, defeated and slumped.

“Hmmm…” Eric kissed his teeth as he looked at his beaten opponent up and down. “I’ll have go to with or what.”

And with that Eric brushed past Rae who’s mouth was left wide open, Eric more than pleased with his victory.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Stupid smartass.” Rae mumbled, slamming the door to her apartment shut, back home late again from another midnight training session. “Thinks he can make me admit shit then walk away like an asshole,” she cursed while throwing her keys at the wall before slamming her bedroom door open.

“Who the fuck he think he is?!” She threw her bag at the wall in a fit of rage, watching it slide down the wall. “Stupid toned ass.”

“Can you keep it the fuck down?”

Rae froze as she turned and finally noticed the figure in her bed, lying on his stomach with a sheet covering his lower half and one pillow half on his face.

“Tryna sleep here.”

Rae stood there like a stunned deer for a minute, watching his bare back rise and fall before shaking herself back into reality. “Thought you said or what.”

“Just get your ass into bed before I drag it in here.”

Without a word Rae took her jacket and socks off, too tired to argue or to play games right now. All she was thinking was that hopefully she could finally get a good night’s sleep with him around.

Rae shifted under the sheet and tried to pull up the blankets and get under his arm, trying to get comfortable, before she felt a hand twitch around her back, feeling her sports bra.

“Nuh-uh, you don’t wear it this time. Take it off.” He pulled the fabric and snapped it back.

Rae gulped. All the other times she slept with Eric she’d always worn a bra, Eric knew this damn well. And he knew she was looking at him with utter contempt but he didn’t care. “You just called me mean names. I feel hurt. It’s the least you could do.”

Rae-Lynn took in an annoyed breath knowing her swearing didn’t mean shit to him. But she did as she was told, sitting up, and taking her bra off. Rae threw it heatedly against the wall, Eric not missing the smack of the battered fabric.

“It’ll just be uncomfortable anyways, I’m just tryna help you.”

Rae rolled your eyes in the darkness as she put her singlet back on and settled back under the sheets. “Sure you are.”

Eric lifted his arm up and turned so he was snuggled against Rae’s back. “See isn’t that better.” He sleepily grumbled, taking Rae’s silence as a reluctant yes.

“You know I would teach you a lesson…” He all but growled, moving his hands dangerously up her torso, making Rae’s breath hitch in surprise when his hands pushed up under her breasts.

“But I’m just too fucking tired. Gnight.”

And before Rae could protest or even react the Dauntless leader was already snoring lightly in her ear. And normally, Rae would have made a fuss, possibly slapped him, or lay awake wondering if that shit was a joke or something else. 

But after a week and a half of almost no sleep, she just didn’t have the energy to even process it. And so, rather than making a fuss Rae decided to leave the sleeping giant be. For now, she was just going to enjoy the fact she had her muscly bedwarmer back.

Taglist: @therealcalicali @themusingofagothicsoul @draconicuchiha @destroyther00f @queentearra @selina122 @chocolatemetalprincess@tomarisela @mbaku-babygirl @laketaj24 @myboyfriendgiriboy @every-jai 

[marshmallow-phd]

Tangled Web

Genre: Spider-Man!AU

Pairing: Kyungsoo x Reader

Summary: Kyungsoo has been your best friend for years. He knows more about you than even your boyfriend ever could, and is the one you go to first with both good and bad news. When he’s actually around, that is. He’s a man of many secrets, including how he feels about you. As he tries to balance a normal life with superhero duties, he discovers that keeping a secret identity is never easy and can even put the person he cares about most in the world in danger.

Part 1 I Part 2 I Part 3 I Part 4 I Part 5 I Part 6 I Final

header by @xui-n-soowillbethedeathofme

**

Electro grinned from his hiding spot a few roofs away. For the last hour, he’d been following the wall-crawling hero in an attempt to find a solution to get him out of the way.

And now he’d found it.

It was extra enticing that the woman who seemingly had Spider-Man’s heart was also tied to Kim’s son and heir. He remembered you from the showcase and how hard that brat had worked to keep you out of the way. Electro could feel the revengeful plan bubbling up inside. It was all too sweet. All too easy.

While Spidey swung away, Electro kept an eye on you, following you home while you were none the wiser.

It was unfortunate that it had come to this. But his plan was too important to think about the poor lives that could get caught in the middle. Besides, this was Spider-Man’s own fault. If he had just stayed out of the way, then you wouldn’t have been pulled into this dangerous little game.

Now, all he needed to do was to figure out how to get to you and how use his new found knowledge to his best advantage. The plans were already forming in his head, battling to be the one come out on top and be the path to victory. Only time would tell which one he would choose.

**

Kyungsoo’s heart was thumping hard in his chest while his mind prepared him for the worst. Walking into that small dive bar was the last thing he wanted to do. But his best friend had called him and he had no good, genuine excuse to get out of it. And, to be honest, Kyungsoo needed to know the real reason for the phone call. All the possible outcomes were jittering his nervous.

Of course, there was really no reason to be nervous. Jongin didn’t know about his biggest secret. And there was no way he could know that you kissed him – er, Spider-Man, that is. That was also only an hour ago or so. Maybe not even that. No matter how deep his pockets were, that Jongin wasn’t that incredible at gathering information.

Stepping in through the door, the place was practically deserted as instrumental music played from the speakers hanging from the ceiling. Lighting from industrial bulbs gave the place a warm feel. Actually, contrary to the outside appearance of the old building, the inside of Jongin’s meeting place was a nice little hangout for those who knew about it or were brave enough to venture inside.

Said caller was currently sitting at the bar, emptying a glass of caramel colored liquid. A bottle of whatever Jongin had ordered was sitting in front of him on the counter while the bartender was busy cleaning glasses at the end.

Kyungsoo took a deep breath before sitting next to his best friend. “What’s going on?”

Jongin lazily turned to face him. His eyes were already starting to droop and each movement was clumsily done. “Why did everything have to go to shit all at the same time?”

“What do you mean?” Kyungsoo asked cautiously.

Slamming the glass down hard enough that it probably should have at least cracked the clear cup, Jongin contorted his face to a dangerous scowl. “The showcase that could have changed everything was ruined by that psychopath. And now….” He let out a noise that was somewhere between a growl and a whimper. With shimmering eyes, he turned to Kyungsoo. “(y/n) broke up with me.”

Kyungsoo felt his jaw drop. “W-what?”

“A few hours ago,” Jongin went on. “She just calls me, out of the blue. I hadn’t been able to talk to her because of work. But I took time out of trying to fix everything to meet her for coffee. And you know what she tells me? She tells me that we’re not the same anymore. That we’ve grown apart. That she still loves me, but it’s a different kind of love now.” He shoved the glass away. It barely stopped in time to not teeter over the edge and shatter to the ground. “She said that her heart is pulling her in a different direction.”

Kyungsoo swallowed thickly, unsure of how to respond. Surely, you wouldn’t tell the poor guy that you were in love with a masked vigilante to his face. “Did she say who exactly her heart was pulling her towards?”

“No,” Jongin scoffed. “All she’d say was ‘please don’t hate me and don’t hate him’.”

That was… highly unexpected. Kyungsoo didn’t know how to comprehend that piece news. Nor did he know exactly how Jongin would react if he ever found out that your heart was being tugged towards a wall-crawling superhero. That also happened to be his best friend. Not that he would ever find out about Kyungsoo’s secret, not if Kyungsoo could help it.  

Too many different emotions were bubbling up Kyungsoo’s chest. He didn’t know whether to be happy that you were drawn to part of him or to be frustrated because he was back to where he was with Felicia.

Why couldn’t anyone ever fall for him? Why couldn’t you see that he was here too, behind the mask?

That annoying guilt was pushing itself back up his throat. He shouldn’t be thinking like that with his broken hearted friend sitting next him with a half empty bottle of scotch. He was a mix of hope and despair. Maybe he should help Jongin finish off the bottle.

“My father stole that idea,” Jongin suddenly blurted out, the alcohol really taking its toll now.

Kyungsoo nearly choked on the alcohol he was sipping on. “What?”

With a lazy headbob, Jongin looked to him. “The generator was never his idea. It was some guy named Dillon’s idea. He had all these notes and pictures jotted down on scraps of dirty paper. One day, he came to the company and managed to get a meeting with my father, showing him the idea. Next week, Dad is buying up every electric company in the tri-city area. Gets his hands on the blue prints. That Dillon guy had the idea, but Dad had the money to build it.” He scoffed. “Brilliant business plan, right?”

This… went beyond anything that Kyungsoo had imagined. This Dillon guy… he had to be Electro. It all made sense. It all lined up too perfectly.

Kyungsoo couldn't believe his luck. That’s what this was. Pure luck that his best friend got drunk to the point of spilling his father’s secret about his latest invention. It was just enough information for him to use to figure out how to stop Electro.

Slapping his friend on the back, Kyungsoo urged his friend up out of his seat. “Come on, let’s get you home. Before you do something you’ll regret.”

“I need to call (y/n),” Jongin whined. Every step was a stumble and almost all his weight was on Kyungsoo. Jongin was reaching into the pocket of his expensive wool coat. Kyungsoo was barely able to snatch it out of his hand in time.

“No, don’t call her like this,” Kyungsoo huffed. They made it out to the car and he managed to convince Jongin to get into the passenger seat while secretly tossing his phone into the back. The ride back to Jongin’s loft was not a quiet one with the poor, brokenhearted drunk muttering incoherently as the car sped down the road under the blinking street lights.

Once his best friend was passed out safely in his bed, Kyungsoo walked the several blocks back to his place - too cheap to call a cab and too lazy to change into his suit - trying to figure out his next move. Even if Kim Corp did buy up every electric company in the area, that was still a limited number of places that could be owned by some guy named “Dillon”. All it would take was a little research from the business bureau archives. Finding the old owner or employee and stopping him before he could… well, before he could finish out whatever this plan of his was should be easy enough.

Just before Kyungsoo could lay down in his own bed, his phone chimed. Groaning, he pulled the device out of his pocket and squinted at the screen.

Can we talk tomorrow?

Your texts were never that short or without context. That started the wheels back up in Kyungsoo’s head. To be honest, those wheels were tired and needed some serious grease and rest. Tomorrow, he could waste time trying to interpret what your text could secretly mean. For now, he’d just answer you back.

Sitting up, Kyungsoo texted back the time that he’d be available and you sent back the name of a coffee shop.

With that meeting now set up and confirmed, Kyungsoo flopped back down on the bed, not bothering to actually get undressed. You probably just wanted to tell him the news of the break up, not knowing that Jongin had already told him. Oh, well, that would be something to deal with tomorrow.

**

You were sitting at a table near the window, watching the people walk by on their way to their own meetings or errands for the day. The way the sunlight was shining through the window and hitting you just made your skin glow. Or maybe it just in Kyungsoo’s mind.

Either way, it was a movie-esque scene; your hands wrapped around the paper cup of fresh coffee, your eyes unfocused and dreamy as if they were searching for something more than what was in front of them. Everyone around you seemed to be blurred and moving in slow motion as he focused in heading your way. You didn’t look up and notice Kyungsoo until he was already almost to the empty seat across from you.

“You made it,” you smiled.

Kyungsoo couldn’t help but laugh a little. “Of course, I did.”

That got a shrug out of you. “Sometimes you don’t.”

He could feel his face fall. That was an observation that he definitely deserved. “Sorry.”

You, however, kept smiling. “It’s okay.” Patting the space in front of you, you ordered, “Sit.”

It took no effort for Kyungsoo to fall into the seat.

At first, you said nothing, fidgeting in your seat and picking at your nails. For some reason, you couldn’t just say whatever was on your mind. The nervousness that was rolling off of you was putting him on the edge of his seat.

“(y/n), what is it?”

Sighing, you looked up at him. “I know Jongin already probably told you.”

Kyungsoo opened his mouth to protest in order to let you get your side out, but then he just closed it, nodding.

“How is he?” you asked, genuinely worried.

He was hesitant to answer. You had no reason to feel bad. You did what was right for you. If you didn’t feel that way about Jongin anymore, then you should be able to end it on your terms, not matter what the details for why you didn’t feel that way anymore were. It was only natural.

“Kyungsoo?”

“He’s… Jongin,” Kyungsoo shrugged. “He didn't take it well, but I don’t think anyone would.”

You pursed your lips. “Yeah, I know. I just…. I know the timing was bad, but I couldn’t hold on anymore. We hadn’t been the same for a while now. Maybe-” You frowned, biting your bottom lip. “Maybe I made the wrong choice from the beginning.”

Kyungsoo shifted in his seat, leaning towards you. “What do you mean?”

“When Jongin asked me out,” you replied quietly, “I think I was just so caught up in it all, it made me blind to everything else.”

“Or maybe being with Jongin was what you needed to open your eyes?”

What the hell was he saying? That you needed to date Jongin to fall in love with Spider-Man? Yeah, that made total sense.

Ugh. That made no sense. All he needed to do was swoop in and save you a couple times. That obviously was all it took.

The corner of your mouth turned up just a little as you stared off at nothing. “Yeah. Maybe you’re right. But I just don't want this ruin the friendship with Jongin.”

“Your friendship with Jongin?” Kyungsoo questioned. That was an odd way to phrase it and he needed clarification.  

You shook your head, “No, not-”

Your phone went off on the table. Checking it, you sighed.

“I have to go,” you whispered. “They need me for a pick up on set.”

That was some crappy timing. Kyungsoo nodded. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry,” you sighed as you stood up and slid your purse over your shoulder. “I know I asked you here and I want to stay. I have more that I need to say, but I have to go or else I’ll run them behind schedule and they’ll make me pay for it. Sorry.”

“Rain check?” Kyungsoo gave you a small small.

You nodded. “Yeah. Rain check.”

He watched you go out the front door and hail a cab.

Leaving the cafe, Kyungsoo headed off to the library to really get started on his research. The archives stored there were extensive and should hold the information he needed. That was always on his list of things to do today, but now that you had to cut the meet up short, he had even more time to conduct his research.

The clerk gave Kyungsoo a nod when he walked in, which was politely returned. It took no time for Kyungsoo to find the list of companies bought by Kim Corp within the last few months. He quickly eliminated any non-power related companies, narrowing down the parameters. Then he just scrolled. He kept scrolling, skimming the names for anything that might stand out.

He found it.

Max Dillon.

Kyungsoo had assumed that “Dillon” was his first name when Jongin had mentioned it, but the only match was with this Max character, assuming that intoxicated Jongin had gotten the name right. Which, at this point, he was pretty sure he did.

The more Kyungsoo read about him, the more it made sense. Thanks to social media, it didn’t take much time to figure out that Max’s family had left him after the business that he was a higher up in had been bought out for pennies on the dollar and he was unable to find other work. A few weeks later he was in an accident where he was electrocuted.

Yes, this was about revenge indeed.

Printing out all he could, Kyungsoo gathered the research up and headed back to his apartment where he could start putting together a plan to stop to Electro - Max Dillon - before he could really hurt someone.

**

You arrived at the set right on time even though the traffic had sent you into a panic more than once. It was strange that they’d called for you so abruptly and out of the blue. As far as you knew, they were still in the editing process and wouldn’t do pick ups or reshoots for another few weeks. Weird or not, you needed to go, even with the words that you so desperately wanted to say back at that cafe were still stuck on your tongue. It wasn’t fair, but it would have to wait.

No one was around at all as you walked through the halls and onto the sound stage. All the lights were off, giving the atmosphere a tingling vibe. It sent an audible chill down your spine.

“Hello?” you called out loudly, hoping for someone to pop up and explain what was going on. “Hello?”

No reply.

You wandered around, searching for anyone who might tell you where you were needed and why. But no one ever showed. Not even a security guard showed his face.

Giving up, you pulled out your phone to call one of the PAs to help you out.

“No one’s going to answer.”

Gasping, you dropped your phone and spun around to face the voice.

It was Electro.

For weeks, his face - his masked face - had been plastered all over the newspapers and the internet. He was all people could talk about, especially after his attack at the Kim Corp showcase. That had certainly been a terrifying experience and definitely not one that you wanted to repeat.

“An actress,” the villain mused. “Kim Jongin is a lucky man. Of course, that’s all rich heirs do, isn’t it? Date beautiful actresses and spend money like it’s nothing.”

“What do you want?” you demanded, taking a step back. In the corner of your eye, you searched for a way out. You needed to get away.

Electro smirked. “I’m sorry, my dear, but I need a bit of leverage and, thanks to your relationship with Spider-Man, you are exactly what I need.”

You shook your head. “What are you talking about? I don’t have a relationship with Spider-Man. I don’t even know who he is.”

An evil grin grew on his face as he took a step towards you.

You ran.

Instincts kicking in, you took off towards the exit, trying to get away in the only way you could think of. But it was just a giant joke, thinking you could actually escape.

Taking off from the ground, Electro rode on a lightning bolt until he was able to block your way.

“Nice try.” With a long, gloved finger, he reached out, sending a spark of electricity through your body when it connected with your forehead. The shock made the hair on your arms stand up and then you passed out.

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Tipsy Homecoming” - Oneshot

“Tipsy Homecoming” - Oneshot

My Masterlist - Here

My Marvel Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 1,587

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Drinking, Cursing(?), Vomit. If I missed anything, please let me know!

Summary: You have a little bit too much to drink and Steve comes home to find out.

Author’s Note: This was a random idea that I had a bit ago. Hope you enjoy!

Shoutout to the ever beautiful @witchymarvelspacecase for being an amazing long-distance friend and the best beta reader I could ask for! <3

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

You’d had a truly shitty week.

Your job was already stressful, but add in the fact that it was complete shit these past few days? It was awful. It was the best job you could find in the city, and you did not want to rely on your boyfriend for money. Everything that could go wrong at work, seemed to do so, and it felt like a majority (if not all) of it was your fault. Not to mention that your boyfriend was out of town for the past two weeks with no ETA back home.

Everyone knew you and your boyfriend. It's kind of hard to hide the fact that Captain America is off the market. You loved him, but you hated when he had to go on dangerous missions especially when they came with no end date. You knew he had to go be a hero, but you missed him when he was gone.

So, between the shitshow that was your work life, your incessant worrying about Stevie, and your mental health not being the best, you decided that your cure could only be one thing: Alcohol.

The “Tipsy Cat Brewery” was a small local favorite of yours. It was a 15-minute walk from your apartment, and they hooked you up with the employee discount since you knew the owners personally after the past few years of living there.

Your phone had died on the walk from work to the bar, so you asked one of the bartenders, Jimmy, if you could borrow the one that you knew they had under the counter. You figured you would drink enough to start feeling lighter, then walk home and either drink more, or pass the fuck out.

It was hockey season, so Jimmy knew to put on your team’s game. You shot him a quick “thank you” as he placed your favorite drink, and some fries in front of you. You downed your drink and then asked for a double.

“Rough day, (Y/N/N)?” Jimmy leaned on the counter and picked at some fries. He never charged you for the fries, so you let him pick.

“More like rough week. I can’t seem to get things right.”

“Well, you know you’ll always make the right choice in comin’ here.” Jimmy shot you a smile as he bit another fry. A couple came through the entrance, so Jimmy had to shift his attention to them. You watched them too.

It seemed like the women were having a date night. You smiled at seeing the two women in love, and proud to show it. They were cute. Holding hands, kissing every so often, and almost non-stop smiling. It made you miss those feelings.

You weren’t clingy, but you definitely missed physical affection. Steve was the best guy you’d ever been with in every way. Him being away for so long, took its toll on you.

Swishing your drink in your glass, you knocked it back and asked for another. Jimmy gave a concerned look as you shifted your attention back to the hockey game on tv.

Eventually, you ended up feeling a bit more than tipsy. You were still coherent, you weren’t shitfaced, but you were definitely drunk. Jimmy knew your limits, and he knew you could have one more before cutting you off. If you were with Steve or someone else, then it would have been a different story, but you knew you needed to be able to get home, and if you had anything else, it would have been risky.

“How much do I owe you tonight, Jimmy?” Your speech wasn’t slurred, but you were for sure slower than your normal pace. You pulled your wallet out of your back pocket and began to pull some bills out.

“$24 tonight, (Y/N/N).”

You knew that normal priced drinks would have cost you $10 more than what Jimmy charged you. So you left two twenty dollar bills on the bar and got up to leave. You got to the door, and Jimmy called out for you.

“Wait! Your phone!”

“Thanks! I honestly would have forgotten it completely until tomorrow!” You chuckled at your own stupidity. Checking the time, you saw it was close to 10:15PM. Tossing your phone in your bag, you fumble for your keys.

“You gonna be good to walk back home, (Y/N/N)? I can get one of the guys to--”

“Nah! I’m good.” You finally find your keys and shake them in front of Jimmy’s face with a smile. “Thanks for everything, Jimbo. I’ll see you later.”

“Alright. Please be careful! Take it easy!”

You walked out and began your trek home.

It wasn’t too bad of a trip. Just a bit cold, because you’d forgotten to bring your jacket, but you made it home in one piece. You dropped your bag and shoes by the front door before heading into your room and changing into comfy clothes. You pulled a 6 pack out of the fridge, and set yourself up on the couch with the tv remote, some snacks, and a pillow. The next couple hours were spent drinking, and watching Netflix.

The next time you looked up at the clock was when you woke up on the couch with a nasty feeling in your body around 3AM.

“Fuckin’ shit…” You groaned as you stumbled into the bathroom and sat in front of the toilet. You hated throwing up, but that was the price for how much you drank.

Nothing was coming up, but you knew it was going to happen eventually. You focused on taking deep breaths and being aware of what was happening. Within a few minutes, your head was in the toilet bowl, emptying the contents of your stomach.

Because you were in the bathroom in a messed up state, you didn’t hear the door open or Steve call out your name.

“(Y/N/N)?” He wandered into the living room and saw the ½ empty 6-pack on the floor next to the couch. He picked it up and put it back in the fridge before he heard coughing coming from the bathroom and then the toilet flushing. Steve figured you drank too much and ended up there.

He grabbed a bottle of water and he quietly made his way to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Sweetheart?” He cracked open the door to see you laying down on the tile floor with your arm over your eyes. You peeked from under your arm and saw your super soldier in the doorway. You were still a little bit drunk, but throwing up helped sober you up a little.

“Hey there, stranger! I didn’t know you were comin’ home tonight!” You tried to get up but instantly felt another wave of nausea travel through you. “Nope. Nope. I’m just gonna stay down here for a bit longer.”

Steve softly laughed at your predicament before sitting on the floor next to you and slowly helping lift your head into his lap. His fingers naturally went to lightly scratch and pet your head.

“Well, I tried texting you an hour or two ago, but I’m assuming you were passed out on the couch.” He smiled down at you as you brought your hands up to rub your face.

“Yeah… I don’t know what time I fell asleep.” You groaned. The bathroom light was bright and even though you had your arm over your closed eyes, you couldn’t shake the nauseating waves in flowing through your body.

“And I’m assuming you didn’t have just those 3 drinks I found in the living room?”

“No…”

“Tipsy Cat?”

“Yeah…”

You both sat there in silence for the next 10 minutes or so. The only reason you got up was to find your face back in the toilet, finally getting the last of everything out of your system.

“Ughhh… I think I’m finally done puking my guts out.”

Steve didn’t say anything. He just stood up, held his hands out and helped slowly lift you up. He held you steady as you rinsed your mouth out with mouthwash. Your legs were wobbly, but still held you up. Steve didn’t want to take any chances though.

“Do you want to walk to the bedroom?” You shook your head “no” and held your arms up like a child. Steve smiled, and gently picked you up to carry you to the bedroom.

Luckily you were already in your comfy clothes, so it was easy to get you in bed. He made you drink some water before laying down. Then, you got to watch Steve change into his pajamas. You just smiled, as you snuggled into the sheets and watched him. He caught you staring and smiled.

“You’re cute.” He got in bed next to you, and helped you cuddle up close to him.

“And you need to sleep.” He kissed your forehead and felt you relax in his arms.

“I’m glad you’re home, but this is not what I was planning for your first night back.” You admit to him.

“Oh really? What did you have in mind?” He was getting sleepy, but his natural curiosity got the better of him.

“You have all day tomorrow to find out.” You sleepily tell him and feel the rumble of a gentle laugh travel through his chest.

“Sounds good, sweetheart.” He started lazily running his hand up and down your back, lulling you to sleep quicker. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Stevie. Welcome home.”

Tags - @goodnightwife @witchymarvelspacecase @theeactress @sebby-staan @feelmyroarrrr @tomorraw @marvelous-imagining @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @badassbaker @httpmcrvel @reading-in-moonlight @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98  

[eideticreid]

Nerves » Spencer Reid

Pairing: Reader x Spencer Reid

Word Count: 1,992

Warnings: None

Summary: After realising his feelings towards you, Spencer works up the courage and confidence to ask you on a date.

Tag: @coffee-and-stories, @pieceofried, @lots-of-lesbianss, @ultrarebelheart

Spencer had never asked a girl out on a date before. But then again he’d never had a girl that he was even remotely interested in either.

He wasn’t entirely sure how you felt towards him, but he’d never had a girl that seemed as engrossed as you were in his life, so he assumed that maybe you did like him even if it was just a little.

That hope had given him enough confidence to just think about asking you on a date.

Now he needed the courage to actually ask.

It had been a week since you realised your feelings for your friend, and since you both had so much to talk about all the time, you were able to continue avoiding the thoughts and feelings you harboured.

Not only that, but the team had been called out for a case up in Wisconsin during the week, which had occupied your mind for the past three days.

You were grateful to be back on Virginia soil though — the last three days had been tough on your mind and body. You had had zero sleep which was taking its toll on your focus and mind, and you had several bruises from the intense case which caused you to ache.

“Who fancy’s winding down with some drinks?” Derek asked, as you all exited the jet.

“I’m down. After that case, I need all the alcohol I can get.” Elle sighed.

“I’m up for it too.” J.J added, “I’ll text Garcia and let her know.”

Derek turned to you and Spencer, “What about you two kids?”

You rolled your aching shoulders and sighed, “I might pass this time. I think my body would prefer to just chill and watch a movie.”

“Yeah, same,” Spencer replied, “But you guys have fun. And be responsible and safe.”

Derek rolled his eyes playfully at both of your excuses, telling you to have a good night before disappearing into a SUV with the other team members. Even Gideon and Hotch had taken them up on the offer for drinks.

“So what movie are you watching?” Spencer asked as you jumped into the last SUV.

You laid back into the passengers seat, “I honestly don’t know.” You chuckled lightly.

His heart started racing as he thought about what he was going to say next. “You know, since I finished reading Harry Potter, I was thinking that uh, maybe we could watch the movies together some time?”

You turned your head to him, “I would love that! We should totally do it.” You beamed, excited at the thought of spending more time with him. “Are you busy tonight?”

“Nope. Just gonna go home and-“

“Come to mine!” You interrupted, “We can watch the first movie together!”

You watched as Spencer’s face went from neutral to surprise. You realised that you interrupted him and forwardly asked him to come to your apartment, and your cheeks had immediately heated up at how enthusiastic you were.

In all the time you’d known Spencer, you hadn’t really spent time together outside work. You sometimes watched movies with each other in hotel rooms during cases, when you should’ve been sleeping, but that’s as far as it went.

You hadn’t been to each others apartments yet.

“Only if you want to, of course.” You broke the pause, “It’s totally up to you. I mean, if I were you I’d probably want to just go home and sleep. The last thing you’d want to be doing is watching a movie after such an intense case.”

Spencer smiled at your cute rambling, “Well, if the offer is still there, I’d love to come round and watch the first one.”

He glanced over at you from behind the wheel, watching your insecurity morph into excitement, due to his words.

He’d never seen you turn into a shy rambling wreck before, and seeing the bundle of nerves that you were in the passenger seat had made him feel all kinds of ways.

It made him wonder even more if you did feel the same way he did. Why else would you become awkward about inviting him over?

• • •

You had emerged from your bedroom clad in your pajamas, as Spencer was scanning your shelves that had books and DVD’s neatly lined up on them. He hadn’t even noticed you come back into the room because he was so focused on the titles of everything.

“I know it doesn’t seem like a lot,” You spoke of the lack of books you had, “But I only buy books that really resonate with me.”

Spencer turned to the sound of your voice and noticed the clothes you had changed into. He blushed at the sight of you in shorts and a t-shirt, always only ever seeing you in jeans or some type of trousers.

“Well uh, that seems like a sensible idea.” He chuckled, seeming distracted.

You smiled and headed towards your kitchen, “Would you like something to drink? Or eat?” You called out, “I think I have a pizza in the freezer we could have.”

Spencer followed you, standing behind your mini island. “Pizza sounds good. And I wouldn’t say no to a coffee.”

You nodded and got to work with preparing dinner and coffee, sauntering around your kitchen as you did so. Little did you know that Reid was watching your every move, as your back was facing him.

He was mostly focused on your bare legs, a place he hadn’t had the pleasure of seeing up until now. He imagined running his hands up and down your thighs, and wondered how soft your legs would feel against his own as you laid tangled together.

“Here’s your coffee,” You snapped him out of his daydream, “And pizza should be ready in twenty.” You smiled as you walked over to the shelves and grabbed for the DVD you wanted.

Reid had settled down on your sofa as you set up the movie, taking sips of his boiling hot drink. As you settled down beside him he had noticed the huge bruise that had recently formed on your upper arm from the case.

“Holy crap, (Y/N). That’s the biggest bruise I’ve ever seen.” He placed his drink on the table.

You looked down at the different shades of purple decorating your arm, “I know. It was when the UnSub tackled me and I landed on that lump of wood. I’m surprised I didn’t break anything, honestly.”

He gently grabbed for your arm and softly rubbed his thumb over it, “Does it hurt?”

“Only when I touch or lean on it.”

He instantly retracted his thumb but kept his hand on you, “Oh, I’m sorry.” He panicked.

You giggled, “It’s okay, Spence. You were gentle.” You looked up into his hazel eyes, your heart fluttering at his simple hold on you.

You both got lost for a moment, staring into each others eyes as the film begun in the background. Both of you had wanted to lean in and kiss the other, but both of you also didn’t want to overstep the line and make things awkward.

Spencer broke the daydream you were in by letting go of your arm, his warm touch now something you craved to feel again.

“I uh, wanted to ask you something.” Spencer said, his voice stuttering from his nerves.

“Sure, what is it?” You asked innocently.

You had glanced over at the television just in time for Hagrid to fly down from the sky with baby Harry, Dumbledore and McGonagall waiting on Privet Drive.

Spencer had noticed you weren’t really focused on him anymore, and his confidence to ask you what he wanted to, faltered. It wasn’t until you turned to him expectantly that he freaked out and said the first thing that came to his mind.

“Did you know that more than four hundred million books of Harry Potter have been sold worldwide, and been translated into sixty-eight languages?”

You frowned at his odd question which was more of a knowledge statement, but smiled anyway. “That’s not surprising seeing how popular it is.”

Spencer leaned back into the sofa and sighed internally at how much of a coward he was. He had wanted to take that moment to ask you what he was building the courage to ask you for the last couple of days.

A date.

He was so close to getting the words out, but his anxiety had gotten the best of him in that second, causing mild embarrassment on his end. He wasn’t sure he’d ever get the confidence to ask you again, this attempt discouraging him even more than he already felt.

• • •

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone had come to an end, the credits rolling on the screen with you and Reid still sat in silence.

Neither one of you had spoken throughout the whole thing, even when you grabbed the pizza quickly, all that was said was a thanks.

You weren’t sure if Spencer was enjoying the movie as much as you were, but you felt this tense atmosphere looming over the both of you, and you couldn’t quite work out why.

At first you thought it was because he didn’t seem like he was keen on the movie as much as he was the books, but with his concentrated gaze hardly ever leaving the screen, you didn’t think that was the reason.

“So, what did you think?” You asked.

“I definitely think the book is better,” Even you agreed with that, “But it was good. I especially enjoyed the challenges they faced within the trap door.”

You grinned, “Would you say you enjoyed it enough to watch the other movies?”

He nodded, “Definitely.”

“Good!” You were still grinning, “Well if you just text me when you’re next free, we can go from there.” You grabbed for the two empty plates on the table.

“Of course,” He rose to his feet, “Do you need help washing the dishes?”

“Oh, no, you’re good. I’ll just do them in the morning. But thanks though.” You said placing the plates in the sink.

Spencer hesitated slightly, “Okay, well I uh, better be off. Thanks for dinner, and the movie. I’ll uh, see you Monday.”

“You’re welcome, Spence.” You smiled.

He grabbed for his messenger bag and headed towards the door. When you met him there, you had hesitated to pull him in for a hug since you’d never actually hugged him before, but you went for it anyway and wrapped your arms around his neck.

He had froze at the unfamiliar touch and action, you just clinging to his neck to begin with. But his tense body eventually relaxed as he hugged you back, bringing you closer to him.

You both stood there, you on your tip-toes, in a content embrace as you each enjoyed the smell, warmth and comfort of one another. It had felt so right being in Spencer’s arms.

“Have a lovely weekend, Spence.” You said, giving him one last squeeze before reluctantly pulling away.

He smiled down at you, “You too, (Y/N).”

You opened your door and with a simple goodbye, Reid was out of your apartment and out in the hallway.

It seemed he was going to head straight home, not bothering to give you one last look, so you went to close your door and retreat to your bed when Spencer had called out your name, stopping you in your tracks.

“Did you forget something?” You asked.

This was it. He had decided he wasn’t going to leave without a date with you.

“Yeah, I did.” He paused, “Earlier when I wanted to ask you something, it wasn’t to tell you a pointless fact about Harry Potter. Um, are you busy tomorrow evening?”

You thought, “Not that I know of.”

“Good, cause I’m taking you out, on a date.”

Your face had immediately reddened at his sudden forwardness. He wasn’t asking you on a date, he was telling you. You had never been so speechless before. His sudden confidence had set a fire inside of you.

“Be ready for seven. I’ll pick you up.”

Before you found words to form and say out loud, Spencer had walked away with a form of confidence and elegance. You closed the door and let out a breath you weren’t aware you were holding in, and grinned so wide at what just happened.

You had a date with Spencer Reid!