#coming from a country where that kind of stuff rarely gets here (especially merchandise) and when it does it's 200% more expensive

[alicepao13]

That's kinda basic, plus the message should not be that the consumer buying things today is responsible for an already filthy rich person's wealth, especially when in certain instances (not here but I'm generalizing) there are no good choices and you'll just make yourself miserable by trying to find products that don't in any way negatively affect people or the planet. But in this specific case, you can always donate the equivalent of the money you give to Harry Potter movies/products/merch to support trans people and causes, and anything else Rowling is against. And this way you're actually giving more money to the cause she's against than what you gave to her, because she won't ever get the full amount of what you're paying for the product, she's actually getting mere cents of royalties in most cases.

another reminder to stop buying/watching/reading anything JK Rowling associated

[putschki1969]

Guide: How to get your hands on Kalafina goodies

I have been getting a lot of asks about this topic recently. Usually those questions come from new fans or from fans who have never bought any of Kalafina’s music releases or their merchandise. Buying Kalafina related items can be quite intimidating for us foreign fans, everything is expensive and it all seems to be out of reach. But fret not, it’s actually not THAT bad. Here’s a simple guide on how (and where) to buy all kinds of Kalafina related products. Don’t hesitate to ask if you still have any questions left after reading this.

Sorry, I have had this in my drafts for a couple of days. I was so distracted by all the Kalafina related news that I completely forgot about this :P Anyways, let‘s get this thing started...

Some basics:

Have a friend in Japan who is willing to buy stuff for you as soon as it comes out (for most of us that’s not an option but I thought I’d mention it anyways).

Get yourself a credit card or PayPal. Those two things will make your life so much easier when it comes to purchasing items on the sites I will mention later. Some sites accept debit cards but most of them don’t.

Download an add-on/app for your browser that helps you translate the content on Japanese sites. Usually google translate will suffice but it doesn’t hurt to have something else.

Make yourself familiar with your country’s customs regulations. In many cases you will not be able to avoid being charged various customs and import fees so it really helps to know what you have to expect.

Be prepared to spend a lot of money. Kalafina stuff is not exactly cheap (this applies to both the music releases as well as the merchandise). While you will be able to make some good deals on second-hand websites, most rare items will be sold for a very high price.

Comprise a list of all the things you want (add the original price for future reference). So much stuff has been released in the past decade, it’s not easy to keep track of everything (especially if you add all the different store privileges and other bonus items). Here’s a comprehensive list of all the music releases. This incomplete compilation on cpm will give you a rough idea when it comes to merch/live goods. Also, check out these albums on the Kalafina Facebook Fanpage => Merchandise/Live Goods/ Store privileges. @seasonreaper mentioned that he is working on his very own list so if you need info on rare Kala-items, he is your best chance. Of course you can also ask me, while I am certainly not super savvy when it comes to old Kalafina merchandise, I am sure I can find info on pretty much everything Kalafina-related XD

Selected online stores: CDJapan amazon.jp Space Craft Online Store (old) Space Craft Online Store (new) Yahoo Shopping Yahoo Auctions Suruga-ya Wakana Online Shop Mercari

Selected proxy services: Buyee From Japan Tenso (for sites where you can use foreign payment methods but you still need a Japanese address)

Details below the cut!

Music releases: CDs, LPs, DVDs, BDs

Let’s start with music releases. This is usually the first thing you would want to buy as a big fan of a band. As a newcomer, your best bet is CDJapan since it’s super simple and there’s no proxy service required. They still have almost all regular releases of Kalafina’s singles/albums/concerts in stock. There are a handful of limited editions available as well but for the most part, those are sold out. Please note that external and first press boni are only available for a short period of time (they are usually sold out within the pre-order period). CDJapan offers different shipping methods and they ship to A LOT of countries. Their customer service is great, they have helped me out a lot in the past. You can choose from many different payment options. I have never had any troubles with my packages. They have all arrived safely. [I usually pick unregistered SAL/Air Mail. Yup, I am super cheap, I don’t like paying extra for tracking]. Small tip, always mark your order as gift, that usually helps if you want to avoid customs fees.

Now if you want limited/special editions (such as LPs), rare releases (such as the re/oblivious mini album) or you don’t mind buying used products then you will have to consider visiting sites like amazon.jp, Yahoo Shopping, Suruga-ya, Yahoo Auctions and Mercari. These sites offer a wide range of frequently changing products including MANY second-hand items. You will need a proxy-service to order from most of them (Amazon.jp is an exception, they do ship some stuff overseas). While CDJapan offers its own proxy service I would recommend using Buyee (which I linked above). It’s SUPER simple to use and the service fee is minimal (they have sinced increased the fee but it’s still affordable). They ship to quite a lot of countries (various shipping methods) and you can pay with either PayPal or credit card. I advise you to stay away from Yahoo Auctions at the beginning. It’s a great place to find rare items but people are willing to pay crazy amounts of money for them so you will often find yourself outbid (unless you are willing to pay even more money of course XD). Buyee offers an interface for Yahoo Shopping and Mercari so you can browse the site in English. That’s very convenient, purchases are pretty much a piece of cake. A similar interface is offered for Yahoo Auctions (in case you wanna try your luck). On Suruga-ya and amazon.jp you can use the “Add-to-Buyee” app but don’t worry, the sites are super easy to navigate, once you have figured out the basic stuff, it really isn’t a big deal. And believe me, these sites are worth checking out! You can find lots of rare treasures there and often they are being sold for a very reasonable price. But you have to be fast!

Goods/merchandise etc

Live goods and other merchandise are much harder to find. But it’s not impossible. First I’d check out CDJapan, while their selection isn’t as big as it used to be they still have a few pamphlets left in stock. I think you can also find a handful of old live goods there. Then of course you should take a look at the Space Craft Online Stores. Many things are already sold out but there’s still quite a lot to be found there. Beware though, Buyee doesn’t offer its services on these sites. You will have to use another proxy buyer (such as From Japan - I think their service is a bit pricey but they are reliable). You can also register on the fan club sites with an address from TENSO and make payments with your credit card (they DO accept foreign credit cards in the Space Craft online shops).

You will have a lot of luck finding merchandise on the sites that offer second-hand products. It pays off to check the sites frequently because new things are added almost daily (and older things will be sold out just as quickly). But like I said at the very beginning, make sure to write a “wish-list” and always compare prices. Sometimes paying the full price on CD-Japan will be your cheapest option but other times you will save a lot of money by buying a second-hand item (even with all the fees you can still make a good deal). Often a product will be sold for a super high price (usually because the item is rare), be sure to check on all other sites whether you can find a cheaper version!

Some final tips:

Add keywords to your searches if you are looking for something particular. For example, if you are looking for pamphlets, use “kalafina パンフレット”, or like @chibalein has mentioned, if you are just looking for merch and you are not interested in any of the CDs, then type “kalafina グッズ”. That’s very helpful if you are browing sites that offer a wide range of products (like Yahoo Shopping).

Never hesitate to order something if you want it, things are sold out SUPER QUICKLY!

Make sure to only make purchases during the office hours of your proxy service. There’s nothing more frustrating than to find something you have always wanted, to order it and to then be told by your proxy service that by the time they ACTUALLY wanted to buy the item, it was already out of stock so your order had to be cancelled.

Try to keep your packages as small and light as possible (as in, don’t order 5 hardcover pamphlets at once - unless you are ready to pay a lot of shipping). The bigger/the heavier your package is, the more you will be charged for shipping. Sometimes the cheaper shipping methods won’t even be available if your package exceeds a certain weight.

Some screenshots

I’ve prepared some screenshots so you can get an idea of what you have to expect.

The Buyee interface for Yahoo Shopping

When you click on an item, you will be able to add it to your shopping cart.

Once the item is in your shopping cart, you can choose a plan. I ALWAYS choose the Lite Plan. I have never had any issues. You pay the item price and the fee and then the order will be made. Buyee will buy the item for you and a few days later it will arrive at their warehouse. Then you can choose a shipping method (I usually go for SAL or Air Mail) and you can declare your order as gift. You pay for the international shipping (+ domestic shipping in some cases).

Here’s a screenshot of an item on Suruga-ya. This is the regular edition of the album so it’s not exactly special. But it’s still cheaper than buying it on CDJapan. You can use the Add to Buyee App to purchase the album.

[purplesurveys]

1108

[created by: vyvyan86]

What did you think you were good at, until you saw someone else do it? Probably at being detail-oriented. I’ve always held secretarial positions so I knew I was somewhat good at it, but my manager is far more capable than me to a ridiculous extent; she’s great at catching mistakes or knowing the right questions to ask.

What's a fun fact you tell in social situations? About me? The go-to fact that has never failed me before is that I don’t like fruits. Alllllllways riles up an entire crowd, and it’s such an easy way to break the ice hahaha.

What's something you're positive that only you do? I don’t enjoy chicken meat too much, so when I eat fried chicken I usually tear off the chicken skin (the only part I like) and give the rest of the meat to whoever wants it - usually my parents, or my dogs if they’re around.

What is something nice going on in your life right now? I’ve been feeling more free than lonely, which is a crucial mindset shift I needed in order to start healing.

What was the pinnacle of wealth to you as a child? Probably Lisa Frank merchandise, or a Speed Stack set.

What's something that you hate, but can't live without? Delayed flights are extremely inconvenient especially when I’m already itching to be back home, and they’re bound to happen every now and then, so.

What skill do you not talk about, because you feel it sounds like bragging? I’m not sure if I can say anything in the field of skills, but there are topics outside of talents that I do shy away from talking about because I don’t want to sound like I’m showing off. One of them is certain relatives I have.

What is an absolute 100% fact? I have work tomorrow and I’m dreading it as always because Monday. I already have 11 items lined up on my to-do list and it’s making my stomach turn.

What's the most useless thing you've memorized? Multiple episodes of Friends in their entirety.

What is your personal curse? My...what?

Who's the worst person you've encountered on the Internet? The trolls/bots employed to praise the government.

Do you ever stop and think, “what the hell am I doing with my life?” Just every once in a while. I don’t run into this crisis too often, and most of the time I always have a reason to be satisfied with where I happen to be in life.

What are some of the small things in life you enjoy? Feeling fresh after a shower; the scent that wafts from the kitchen when my parents have started cooking or baking something; lightning-speed internet; and driving at night.

What happened recently that made you really happy? I took myself out on a self-date for the first time last night. I’ve taken myself out before, but it was always at some coffee shop where I can stay for a few hours and take a survey or two – and people are usually alone there, anyway. I’ve never eaten out on my own, or went beyond getting coffee, before. I feel like last night was such an important mark for my newfound independence, and I let myself be emotional while I was downing my ramen. I can’t believe I’m getting better; I never thought I’d see the day. :)

If death wasn't a consequence, what would you try? Probably touching stuff that aren’t meant to be touched to know how they’d feel like, like lava.

What's the dumbest thing you've heard someone say? Superlatives are always hard to determine...but I’ll be happy to refer you to most of the quotes Duterte has said over the last five years of his presidency.

What is the worst smell you can remember? The sour stench of rotten food always gets me. Other than that, my stomach is a bit of a trooper when it comes to smells so I haven’t smelled a lot of stuff I’ve found to be terrible.

What's something you want that doesn't exist yet? Some kind of invention that lets you Control+F in real life. I can’t even begin to imagine how infinitely convenient this would make things.

Where is your happy place? In my car, driving at night with the right mix of songs to accompany me.

What song gets better the louder it gets? Born For This by Paramore or New Day by The Bouncing Souls.

What's the most deceptive advertising you've seen? Menu items, mostly. Like the one time a local pancake joint promoted their limited edition red velvet pancakes; I was big on red velvet at the time so I hurriedly ordered it, excited to see how they applied it to pancakes; but was disappointed to see that they were only about the size of my palm. 

I honestly don’t mind deceptive advertising for fast food since people should really expect to get what they pay for - so for the most part I don’t find myself feeling betrayed by sloppy-looking Big Macs hahaha - but the pancake place I was referring to was a sit-down restaurant so I did feel a bit upset seeing how sad and tiny my pancakes looked.

What's a joke you always tell people you meet for the first time? Back when I still went to school and we were required to introduce ourselves on the first day of classes, my go-to line was a joke in itself. I liked saying, “Hi, my name is Robyn. You can call me Robyn,” because for some reason it was the quickest way to get chuckles out of my classmates. I guess it’s in the way I deliver the line, but yeah that’s my way of breaking the ice.

What's the biggest inconvenience that does NOT ruin your day? When my dogs do their business somewhere they’re not supposed to. My dogs are my babies haha, so it’s easy to forgive them.

What's your best wrong number story? I don’t know if I have one. I usually ignore/block wrong numbers lol.

What's something everybody should know how to do? Approach intersections slowly, whether they’re walking or driving.

What is a great movie no one knows about? I suppose it’s quite known given the cast is has and the awards it got to have or be nominated for, but no one in my circle knows about it - Revolutionary Road.

What type of person could the world use less of? People who spit in public.

What makes you think, 'Oh dear, I'm old...'? Erm, maybe the fact that you can ask some kids if they know who Hannah Montana or Drake and Josh are, and it’s very likely that they would say no. Also, the fact that current college students were born in the 2000s.

What is one food that you hated as a kid, but love now? Vegetables and my grandma’s chicken curry.

What makes you tingle? Whispering in my ear.

What was your travel nightmare? Any time our flight would get delayed 2-3 times and we have to wait an extra hour per announcement. Even worse if the plane itself takes foreverrrrrrrrr to get clearance to take off.

What’s the best Wi-Fi name you’ve seen? Nacho’s wifi was “Yell ‘Bayani si Marcos’ for password,” which is “Yell “Marcos is a hero” for password.” It’s in reference to Ferdinand Marcos, a former president who doubled as a murderous dictator and thief and is of course not a hero, but for some weird reason is still revered like a god by people from his hometown, including my mom and grandmother. I’ve kept his wifi name on file on my laptop and have no plans to delete it.

What weird thing turns you on? Haha I don’t think anything I’m into can fall under ‘weird.’ I’m not into anything much in the first place.

What's easy to learn, but hard to master? Any sport.

What's something you've changed your opinion on? Certain politicians I used to look up to, but have since learned that they have unfavorable tendencies or traits as well.

Describe your favorite movie as obscurely as possible: A couple drives for the entire movie.

What's the most satisfying thing you've ever felt? So at work I have to use this extension called YAMM and it’s basically a way to be able to mass-send emails to hundreds and even thousands of recipients. I use it regularly to send press releases to media, and it makes me anxious every single time because one mistake can fuck up the spelling of names or the order of email addresses. Every time I accomplish a YAMM send-out without any mistakes I exhale a giant ass sigh of relief.

If you had a refilling bowl, what would you want it to contain? Money or macarons.

Where do you mostly live? In the past, the present or the future? Up until recently, I used to think a lot about the future; in the latest ~chapter of my life I had been finishing up college, figuring out what job.I wanted, and was in a long-term relationship, so it was inevitable for me to think about next steps. Now that I’ve gone/am going through all these massive changes, I’ve found that this time around it’s a lot healthier for me to stay in the present and be happy with what and who I have.

What is more important to you, the way you look or the ideas you present? The ideas and thoughts I have to offer, of course. The current generation doesn’t care as much for physical looks anymore, which I’d say is a great improvement from before.

What don't people get about what it's like to be you? I’m not that rare a snowflake lol, but I guess when it comes to certain things, like my breakup, I’ve since preferred to be insanely private about them (except on here, of course) so that I don’t have to take the whole neighborhood along in my healing process.

If your bedroom had three portals to anywhere, where would they lead? Another country, a coffee shop, and a beach.

How is parallel universe you doing? I hope she’s happier when it comes to love.

Which historical event should be the next huge television series? I’ve always wanted a fictionalized take on the British royal family, so The Crown already works out pretty well for me, actually.

What country should fictional villains be from? Any answer to this would be offensive lmao, so pass.

What is your imaginary Eden? Living conveniently in the condo of my dreams, making enough money to live comfortably and having easy access to whatever food I’m craving at any given moment.

Which Disney princess would make the best villain? I haven’t seen all the princess movies, so I’m not so sure if I can judge well on this.

You can ask any author one question about their story. What do you ask? I’d probably just ask Angie Sage if movie adaptations for Septimus Heap will still push through because I’ve been waiting on them since I was a lot younger.

Would you want a rewind or a pause button for your life? Why that one? Pause. So that if I’m feeling happy, I have the option to stay there longer if I want.

Are you worth your weight in gold? Idk.

[encchantress]

so this guide is going to be a very very basic overview of what it’s like to WORK AT DISNEY WORLD (pt. 1)! i have a somewhat in depth knowledge of the process and what it’s actually like to be working there because i worked there doing the college program for 5 months. this will be a v v basic overview though and maybe if i feel like it, i’ll do a college program version as well, but here it is!! please like or reblog if you found this helpful!!

AFTER YOU’RE HIRED!

i only know about how you get hired via the disney college program so i’m going to gloss over that, though i will say that for the dcp you apply online, have a web interview, then a phone interview and then you find out whether or not you join the cast!!

CASTING!!!! i know for the dcp we didn’t know what role we had and what location we were going to be at until we got there, but i can’t speak for normal disney cast members. all i know is that no matter what you’ll end up at the casting building at downtown disney to get your assignment and scan fingerprints and all that!!

TRADITIONS!!!! god i’m so lit just thinking about it. traditions is the day that you’re called in to learn all about the history of disney and hear a bunch of stories about how disney has touched the lives of so many. it’s business casual, and disney is VERY strict about this. i watched a girl take off her lipstick bc a cast member told her it was too bright. basically you go to disney university and you get told a bunch of heart-warming stuff, you do some trivia and earn some figurines if you answer correctly, and there’s a box sitting in the middle of your table the whole time which you aren’t allowed to open until the end. they take you to magic kingdom and they have you wear these headsets that don’t rly work and they take you backstage through the tunnels and up into some part of magic and you just like observe what’s going on and you learn about some of the neato things you only get to learn as a cast member. then you go back to Disney University and mickey mouse himself comes to give you your name tag. of course, at the end, you get to open the box and there’s your very own pair of mickey ears waiting inside. it’s honestly life changing. 

okay, so after you have to go through this thing called operations. basically you go to DU and you’re split up into groups based on your role. your roles include:

food and beverage (quick service or full service)

retail (bibbidi bobbidi boutique/floral/merchandise/vacation planner)

entertainment (character performer/character attendant/costuming)

lodging (bell services/front desk/housekeeper)

recreation (children’s activities/lifeguard/recreation attractions)

operations (attractions/custodial/photopass)

and basically what you do in ops is you spend a full day taking a bunch of internet quizzes about personal safety, osha standards, and how to handle situations like unattended suspicious bags and lost children (although at disney they don’t say they’re lost children they say they have lost parents)

i’m gonna be honest, it’s real boring. like 90% of my day was spent trying not to fall asleep. but something else important to disney that you learn during ops are THE FOUR KEYS! The Four Keys are how Disney moderates how they’re doing as a business. The Four Keys are as followed:

SAFETY

COURTESY

EFFICIENCY

SHOW

you will get tested on these often. 

**quick note about safety. disney’s slogan for being safe while on property is “SAFE-D BEGINS WITH ME!” every cast member makes so many dick jokes using that phrase. please do it it’s so funny.**

then once you’re done with ops you’re typically sent for costuming which i’ll get into a little bit later probably bc there’s not rly that much to say on it right now other than like, just do a quick google to find out what your character will be wearing for wherever they work.

STARTING WORK!

so depending on which park you’re assigned to work (note: you will not park hop unless you’re deployed or you pick up shifts. pick one park and stick to it.) you have an orientation day. each park has a cutesy name for it 

DAKlimation (disney’s animal kingdom)

once upon a time (magic kingdom)

discovery day (epcot)

on with the show (hollywood studios)

this is basically a full day of walking around the parks, learning some of the secrets behind the theming and getting accustomed to the backstage areas. you also might ride a ride if you’re lucky (we rode kilimanjaro safaris at DAK). then you’ll start your on the job training. this can range from a week to two weeks depending and at the end of training you are tested on your knowledge of all the skills you learned during training. ((if anyone is interested in lifeguarding or quick service specifically pls don’t hesitate to ask!)) and through all this training you get to wear a cute little “earning my ears” sticker on your name tag!!

ROLES!!

honestly you can do a quick google about any of the roles above, but pls feel free to ask me questions too bc i know a lot about qsfb, lifeguarding, merch and character performer especially. i’m just going to highlight some common misconceptions (imo) below.

character performer: OKAY SO THIS IS WHERE I GET REAL NITPICKY!!! this paragraph is gonna be long so settle in. to be a character performer YOU HAVE TO GO TO AN AUDITION. and let me tell you, it is not easy. it is very likely that if you are a character performer you have auditioned a very good number of times bc disney is so specific in what they’re looking for. and character performer isn’t just someone in a costume or a lookalike. it extends to parades, shows, and even street performers like the citizens of hollywood in hollywood studios. 

there are a few different types of auditions too. they have character performer auditions where they are just generally looking for performers, but they can pull you aside for lookalikes. in character performer auditions you do a parade dance that increases in difficulty the further you go along if you haven’t been cut. in lookalike auditions you literally go into a room in groups of 50 and smile at a man for like 5 seconds and then they cut based off of that. ((if anyone wants a more detailed guide on this i can do it bc i have auditioned for disney 5 times doing both kinds of auditions))

height ranges!!!! this is also a huge thing for me bc some of yall stay trying to play like a 5′7″ bitch as tinkerbell. disney is usually pretty good about sticking to particular height rangers for costumed and face characters. 

most princesses are within the 5′4″-5′7″ range. alice and wendy are usually between 4′10″-5′2″. most costumed characters with the exclusion of most villains and goofy are between 4′11″-5′4″. 5′4″ is definitely at the v top of the height range though and might be pushing it tbh. these are all based on what i know to be true myself having met a shit ton of princesses and character performers, but there are deviants for sure. basically don’t use taylor swift as an fc for alice. cool??? cool.

quick service food and beverage: once you’re in a restaurant you typically stay there. although qsfb can also extend to outdoor vending (odv) in which case you would rotate from cart to cart (they’re the ones that sell the mickey bars and pretzels n shit), but if you work in a restaurant you typically don’t switch between that and odv. 

WORLD SHOWCASE @ EPCOT: if you’re in the world showcase, the people that work in the different countries are usually authentically from there. it would be very, very rare to have a white/european person working at one of the restaurants in mexico. i’ve honestly never met someone who wasn’t from their assigned country that worked there. i’m speaking specifically about the world showcase and not any other part of epcot. many world showcase cast members are part of the cultural representative program which means they come for 12 months and they work in either the world showcase in epcot, animal kingdom, animal kingdom lodge, or international guest relations/greeter roles. basically, if you’re gonna have your character work in a world showcase pavilion, make them from that country pls. 

attractions: if you work attractions, you are most likely not just working at one ride for your entire life. for example: in adventureland in magic kingdom, those attractions workers work aladdin’s magic carpet ride, the enchanted tiki room, swiss family robinson treehouse and anything else in the area. basically if a land or a certain area within the park has the same costume, you’re working all of it so i’d familiarize yourself with just how many attractions your character might be working. 

**quick note again: not every job is within a disney park. you may get a job at disney springs, water parks, or resorts!!!**

WORK THINGS!!!

when you’re working, disney has you on a strict points system. if you’re late to work, they dock you half a point. if you miss your shift/call out, they dock you a point. if you get 3 points within 30 days you get what’s called a reprimand. and this is not good my friends. you get 3 reprimands within 3 months and you’re out. like out out. like turn in your blue card and get out. you can get authorized days off or (ADO’s) but you have to request off like crazy early or get someone to take your shift. 

ahh!!! blue cards!!!! your blue card, or blue ID, is what identifies you as a cast member at disney. it’s also what you flash to bypass paying for parking, and it’s what gets you through the gates to get you backstage at disney. you don’t have it, you’re fucked basically. blue IDs also get you discounts on merchandise and food at some QSFB restaurants.

MAIN GATES!!!! your key to the kingdom!!! your maingate is your entry pass to all the parks. it serves as a park hopper. you also get 3 guest passes which, depending on if you’re a cp, part time or full time has so many passes on it for whomever you wish to bring with you into the parks. 

you answer to two people while you work at disney. your coordinators and your leaders. your coordinators are out on stage with you and there’s usually like 2-4 of them depending on how large your location is. they’re who you ask for help in a pinch. your leaders are like your managers. they give you a briefing in the morning before you open, they make tough calls, and they have to ability to smooth over almost any situation effortlessly. if you have a reeeeally angry guest, you better call ur leader. 

when you’re not on stage, you are backstage. i literally cannot stress this enough. if you’re on break you should not be seen or heard. there are break rooms for every section of each park and if you’re not on your feet, you’re back there. they’re not nice. they’re small, crowded, and usually smell. there are larger cafeterias within every park though (at DAK ours was called PRIDE ROCK) but they’re usually quite a walk depending on where you work.

BREAKS!!! if you’re working at disney that means you’re typically spending 6+ hours on your feet and however long your shift is is how long your break is. 6 hour shift?? you’ve probably got one 15 min break. 8 hours?? prolly one 30 min. break. 10 hours??? that’s when you get the hour long break.  oh also that 10 hour shift you were scheduled for?? it just turned into a 13 hour shift thanks to a force extend. you’re welcome. but you’re in luck!!! sometimes you get an early release or an ER!!! that’s when they don’t need you so they’re like fuck it go home. 

oh also everything is in military time.

GLOSSARY (terms cast members use a lot)

cast members - if you work for the walt disney company you are a cast member, not an employee 

DU - disney university (yes it exists and it’s fuckin baller on the inside)

company d - this is a store inside disney university. it’s where you can get exclusive cast merch and also you can buy your discounted party tickets there

cast connections - ok this is honestly disney’s best kept secret. cast connections is this huge store where u can buy so much shit for like 75% off. they even have a small grocery section where everything is hella cheap. you have to be cast to buy shit.

costuming - where you go to get your costumes duh. there’s one at every park, but magic kingdom’s is at west clock.

west clock - ok so basically not all mk cast is allowed to park in the parking lot like at other parks so there’s this thing called west clock that has a huge parking lot and it’s where disney university and magic king costuming is. you go to west clock and then take a bus to get to magic.

tunnels/utilidor - backstage at MK consists of the utilidors or tunnels as they’re often called. MK is the only park with tunnels and they’re fuckin extensive. there are colored lines on the walls that can direct you to where you need to go, but it’s still confusing as hell.

qsfb/fsfb - quick service/full service food and beverage

merch - merchandise

odv - outdoor vending

stands west/stands east - a variation of working merchandise in the parks. you work at the small stands instead of the shops

four keys card - if a fellow cast member or guest thinks you’ve successfully exemplified the four keys, they give you a four keys card. this is for recognition and it also takes a point off of your record.

MK - magic kingdom

DAK - disney’s animal kingdom

DHS - disney’s hollywood studios

CP - college program

ER - early release

force extend - when they fucking extend your shift without asking u

ADO - authorized day off

deployed - sometimes you get asked to work in a different park for a few days or weeks, they call this being deployed.

on stage - when you’re on the job in front of guests

backstage - the areas where you can’t be seen by guests

guests - not customers, guests.

honestly there’s probably so much more i need to cover, but that’s just a lil taste of what it’s like to work at disney. i might add onto this later or just make a second guide. if you have any questions about anything specific, the disney college program, qsfb or animal kingdom rly let me know bc i know the most about those things, but i’m knowledgeable in A LOT of other stuff too. 

[anavoliselenu]

freedom ch 16

Selena and I walked, her arm threaded through mine, along the brightly lit city streets as the sun set over the tall buildings. It wasn't too cold outside, but the snow was falling lightly, creating the perfect Chicago Christmas season. I could take a picture and put it on a postcard.

The store windows held precious merchandise that they pushed on costumers who didn't have enough money to pay for anything. No wonder this country was in debt.

It wasn't that I hated Christmas, but I hated all the pageantry. It was overwhelming and tedious. Why couldn't we just wake up and have a nice family breakfast while opening a few gifts? Instead, it turned into the season of parties, carolers, expensive obligations, and a fake icon used to guilt kids into being good for the entire year. I hadn't believed in Santa Claus since I was five. It was a ridiculous notion, and I didn't know how parents could let their kids grow up fantasizing about a fat man in a red suit. Selena called me Scrooge. I liked to call it realism.

"Justin, what do you think we should get Alice?" Selena asked, window shopping from afar.

"She likes clothes."

"I know, but we can be more inventive than that."

"Um, expensive clothes."

"I'll think of something."

"Selena, are you done yet? We still have to get home and prepare for the party tomorrow."

"Not yet, Justin. I still have to get something for my mother."

"But we've been out in these streets for five hours already."

"You act like I'm trying to kill you."

"You basically are."

"We get one afternoon away from the babies, and you can't even handle it."

"I'm sorry that I prefer my warm house to this congestion." Yet another person bumped into me on the street. It took all I had not to kill him.

"You just don't like to be happy."

"Three things make me happy. You, Roman, and Sophia. I can live without all of this extra stuff." I held up the bags in my hands.

"We'll go in a second."

Selena and I rounded the corner and saw a Santa ringing a bell, begging for money. Being the charitable woman that she was, Selena pulled out her purse and dropped a rather large wad of cash into his red pale.

I suppressed the groan and words that threatened to erupt from my mouth.

We passed a few vendors selling various things, but I didn't pay any attention to them. This year, I was determined to just go as simple as possible with my gifts. Hell, my brothers were getting fucking pens. That was it. Granted, they were expensive fountain pens that cost more than most people's mortgage payments, but still pens nonetheless.

"What's that?" Selena pointed across the street to a man holding up a sign.

"I don't know." I shrugged. "Can we go?"

"Wait." She let go of my arm and ran through the standing traffic.

"Selena!" I shouted after her.

By the time I got to her she was cooing over a small puppy that she had picked up from a box. There were about six and they were hanging on each other, trying to paw their way up the sides.

"Look, Justin. They're so cute." She wrapped one in her fur coat.

"They're for sale," the man said.

"Where is their mother?" Selena asked.

"She died from birth complications," he replied regretfully.

"That's so sad."

"Selena, don't touch those things. You don't know where they've been." I cringed.

"They're purebred German Shepherds. Just eight weeks old."

"Don't even ask me if we can have one." I picked the dog up from Selena's arm and placed him back in the box. "Gross."

"I wasn't going to ask," she said, but her face told me otherwise.

"We can't have another dog, especially not a puppy."

"You act like they have some kind of disease or something. I was just trying to pet them." She wrapped herself up.

"They might. You don't know."

"Fine," she sighed. "I guess we're done. We should go home before it gets too cold."

William was somehow immediately there with the car and got out to hold the door open. Selena ducked inside and instantly began dialing on her phone, probably calling the house about the babies.

"Damn it." I growled and stomped my foot in frustration. "Why does she always do this to me?"

I put the bags into the trunk of the car, and then got in myself. Selena and I didn't talk to each other the entire way home. By the time we pulled into the driveway, it was dark and the lights of our house shined proudly.

Selena had done an exceptional job decorating; the place really did look amazing, inside and out.

Katy Nana was running around trying to tidy up before the party tomorrow, while carters were using the kitchen for their pre-prep. This party was a very big deal with a lot of guests, so Selena wanted to make sure it was perfect. I stayed to myself and let her do it all. I had to sign all the checks, though.

"Mr. Justin, you can't eat that." Carmela took a stuffed mushroom from my hand as I was about to pop it in my mouth.

"Why not? They need to be sampled."

"Mr. Alec has already done that." She put the tray in the fridge.

"Is there anything I can eat?"

"Not at the moment. Dinner won't be ready for another hour or so." Katy Nana shooed me off.

"Fine, I'll be in the basement for my workout if anyone needs me."

I changed and stuffed my ear buds in as I set the treadmill on its highest setting. When I was about halfway through a mile, Francis nudged the door open and hopped up on the machine next to me. I set it on low and he walked with his fat legs. This was our routine for most mornings. I had trained him to get some exercise in at least once a day. By the time three miles were finished, I was exhausted, but kept going.

Selena made her way into the room with a tray of food. She set it down on the table, and I shut off my machine, sweat dripping from my brow.

"I brought you two some food." She sat in one of the chairs. "I figured you might be hungry."

"Well, thank you." I inhaled and exhaled easily.

We didn't speak for a couple of awkward seconds.

"Look, Justin, I didn't mean to snap at you earlier." She played with her hair. "I'm a little on edge, if you haven't noticed."

"Oh, I noticed."

"I'm just trying to make this holiday a memorable one."

"And I'm making it difficult, I know."

"It wouldn't kill you to be a little happier." She came to sit on my lap. "At least for the pictures I expect a smile."

"I will give you anything you want."

"At the party tomorrow, don't kill anyone and try to be on your best behavior."

"Yes, ma'am." I shook my head, flopping sweat all over her from my hair.

"Ew, Justin. Stop it. You're worse than Francis."

My dog was currently panting and lying spread eagle on his stomach on the floor. I hadn't bothered to turn off his machine so he had been on there at least as long as I had.

"I think he's dead." I kicked him lightly. He rolled over with a grunt.

"He's too fat to be doing all that running." Selena left my lap and sat on the floor, rubbing his stomach.

Carmela interrupted the moment and ran into the room. "You have a call, Mr. Justin. It's your father."

I rolled my eyes taking phone from her. "Hello."

"Why hello, son. Your mother and I were just RSVP'ing to your party tomorrow night."

"I don't recall you being on the invitation list," I lied.

He was silent for a second. "We can find something else to do if you'd rather us not attend."

Selena gave me a stern look.

I sighed, "Fine. You can come."

"Thank you. We'll be there."

I hung up before he could say anything else.

"I don't like this," I said to Selena.

"It's going to be one hell of a party. Don't worry."

The next night, I had spent a good hour properly grooming before the party. I tried to stay out of everyone's way because they all seemed to be working so hard. I took my time, styling my hair, and then changed it up again when I didn't like it.

I could hear feet downstairs of servers who were preparing for the night. Katy Nana's voice was loud and demanding as she ordered people around. If I peeked out of the window, I saw the line of valets, all in nicely pressed suits, ready to take cars from the guests. We still had over an hour left, but Selena wasn't leaving anything to chance. These preparations had been going on all day.

I went downstairs for breakfast and lunch, but spent most of my time in the bedroom. That was a rare occurrence. I would usually scoff at the thought of wasting countless hours in bed, although, I did have Roman and Sophia. I laid them out on blankets and just kept them with me all day so that Selena, Katy Nana, Carmela, and Agata could focus on other things. The house was decorated like a winter wonderland, with all sorts of adornments that made it look like we lived on a movie set.

My navy blue suit had been tailored with the final touches just this morning so the fit was perfect.

"Very handsome." Katy Nana came into the bathroom, carrying both babies impressively in her arms.

I took Roman and held him close to me so that we could see each other in the mirror.

"Look at us." I pointed. "You're going to be the spitting image of me. I just know it, and I'm sure the girls will be chasing after you."

Katy Nana shook her head.

"It's all in the eyes. Women love the eyes," I told him. "That's how I got your mother. And my smile. She likes that."

He reached for my hair, effectively messing up my hours of work, but I didn't mind. It was always kind of amazing to me how Selena and I created children. They were the perfect mixture of the both of us with each of our features within them, but I knew as they grew older, they would be completely different people. I was actually kind of proud of my kids just for being them. I was such a fucking pussy.

"Everyone out of the bathroom." Selena came in, tearing her shirt over her head. "We only have half an hour left, and I need the place to myself."

"Selena, you need to calm yourself down," I said.

"I can't. I haven't even picked a dress out yet."

"I have several ready for you." Katy Nana smiled. "They're all hanging up."

"Thank you. You're a lifesaver."

"We shouldn't upset her," I whispered to Roman, and we all left the room.

"Here," Katy Nana handed me Sophia, "I have to go finish the final touches."

I set Roman and Sophia down on my bed so that they could look up at the ceiling. They were very expressive for just being three months old. Maybe all babies were like that, but I was convinced that mine were special. It wouldn't surprise me if they started talking or walking before the normal time.

I lied down with them and entertained them until Selena was done. I heard the shower running for about ten minutes, and then a string of curse words for another half hour. When I asked her if anything was wrong she just told me her hair was a mess and I should leave her alone.

It wasn't long before I heard cars start to pull up in the driveway and guests downstairs.

Selena glided out of the bathroom in a spectacular silver dress. It was floor-length and embellished with shiny fabric that caught the light. I wasn't sure what they were from a distance, but they made her look like she was shimmering. Her wavy dark hair was coerced into a bun at the base of her neck with a few tendrils left to frame her face. One feature that was fairly new was the bright red lip that she wore. I had never seen that before, and it was oddly enticing.

"That is your mother. She's the most beautiful woman in the entire world," I told Sophia, rubbing her stomach.

Selena took the compliment, blushing, and didn't look at me.

"I wasn't lying," I assured her. "Have you seen yourself? You look amazing tonight."

"Thank you." She kissed me.

Sophia started to coo, moving her little feet around and looking up at the ceiling. Selena came to join us on the bed.

"I'm surprised you're the first one dressed tonight," she said, pecking Roman's cheek.

"I took my time for once and didn't freak out. It's a wonder how much calmer I feel now that I'm not worrying about anything. Tonight is going to be a great party."

"I hope so."

There was a knock on our door.

"Come in."

Carmela peaked her head in and smiled impishly. "I was told to come relieve you of baby duty so that you two can enjoy the party."

"Good." I got up from the bed and straightened myself out before pulling Selena up with me. We looked ourselves over, making sure that every aspect of our appearances was perfect.

"Okay, so don't kill anyone tonight and be nice to your parents," Selena warned me.

I rolled my eyes.

I didn't know how on earth we were planning to fit four hundred people in our house, but it was far too many. I didn't even know who all was there, and I couldn't enjoy myself because I was more focused on keeping everyone in check.

No one was allowed on the upper levels. There was security in place to prevent any wandering guests, but even so, I was weary about people getting nosy. On more than one occasion, I saw a few visitors trying to secretively poke their heads into drawers and sneak around corners where they shouldn't. And then there was the touching. Everyone felt the need to put their hands on every single object in my house. I was about to explode.

We had originally planned on having children at the party since Selena wanted it to be more of a family thing, but it I vetoed that quickly and was glad I did. I had more than enough trouble keeping the grownups in line. Everyone who was invited had to bring a gift. Selena had the idea to donate them all to local children's charities, so the house was filled with them.

I tried being social and succeeded for a while, but left most of the talking to Selena. She was quite the social butterfly with a personality that was infectious. The holiday spirit suited her well.

"Justin, why don't you smile more?" Emmett asked me as we played a round of poker with Alec and Jasper at a corner table away from most of the mayhem. At this point, the party had been raging for a couple of hours and everyone was rather tipsy.

"I smile when I want to," I objected. "I don't like you so I don't waste my smile."

"Harsh." Alec folded his cards. "I'm out."

"As usual."

The pot was getting pretty large. I was determined to win, but Jasper and Emmett were better players than me. They had card savvy that I never would. I wasn't losing big bucks, but I still didn't find their jabbing remarks encouraging.

"This is a great party," Jasper said with enthusiasm. "And no drama so far."

"Have you seen Mom and Dad?" Alec asked.

"Not yet, hence why I said so far."

"I might have been a dick to Carlisle on the phone last night. My tone made it perfectly clear that he wasn't welcome in my house."

Alec leaned in. "I shouldn't be telling you this, but he's distancing himself from us."

"Why? What did he say?"

"Mom told me that he's writing a book."

"A book!" I shouted. "On what?"

"On us, the family."

"He can't do that," Jasper protested. "He's bound to give away secrets he shouldn't if he writes one."

"That's what I said." Alec shrugged. "He's still writing it. He doesn't know how to tell you, Justin."

"Because he know I'll shoot him. I won't allow it." I slammed my cards down.

"Can we talk about this later?" Emmett asked. "This is a party, after all."

"I need more booze." I drank the last of the bourbon in my glass.

A server was there instantly to retrieve the empty cup. "Anything else, sir?"

"I'll have a martini this time."

"Of course." He scurried off.

There were Christmas carols playing throughout the house, beautiful lights everywhere, and lots of camaraderie. With the little buzz I had going, the atmosphere was rather enjoyable. After two more rounds of poker, we had been joined by Selena and Rosalie.

"You don't have a very good hand," Selena informed me.

"I'll win. Emmett's bluffing," I whispered to her.

"How do you know?"

"He sucks on his teeth when he's lying; a horrible habit that he's done since we were kids."

Selena and I watched Emmett with inspecting glares. After a minute or two he sucked once on his top tooth and made a strange noise. I smiled, laying down my hand.

He cursed and banged his fist down. "Damn it. I thought I had him."

"We won!" Selena started to collect the money from the center of the table.

"I knew it," I said triumphantly.

"You cheated. Let's play again." Emmett grabbed the cards and began to shuffle.

"Fine. I can go all night."

There was a tap on my shoulder and a low voice in my ear. "Sir, we have a security issue."

"Oh?" I turned my head slightly towards him, trying not to appear concerned.

"A Vienna Volturi is trying to get into the house, but she's not on the list of people that Mrs. Bieber gave us. She's not allowed in, is she?"

"Not under any circumstances."

"We're trying to remove her from the property quietly, but she's making it difficult."

"Give me a second." I waved him off.

"Is everything okay?" Selena asked me, her smile not faltering from her face. She was having a good time, and I shouldn't ruin it.

"It's perfect. You stay here and play for me."

"I'm going to lose everything."

"I trust you." I kissed her lips shortly before getting up from the table.

As I walked through the house, several people stopped to chat. I gave them head nods and shook hands, being the perfect host. It took me about ten minutes to get outside.

Vienna was shaking, her body barely concealed in a short dress. Her skin was tight against her small frame. She looked strung out, completely unhealthy, and disgusting. There were bodyguards trying to hold her up, and she was fighting them off.

"Let me go! I was invited," she protested.

I stood on the front steps, watching her embarrass herself further. At one point in my life, I cared about this girl. We had a very long standing sexual relationship from the time we were fifteen. We always went back to each other, no matter what. Even if our fathers were fighting, it never affected what we had. Now I felt nothing. She was a gnat that never died.

"Vienna, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"Oh, thank God. Justin, you can help me." She stumbled forward. "They won't let me in."

"What made you think you were invited?"

"Everyone who's anyone is in there. I should be too." She smiled drunkenly.

I instructed the security team to leave. They silently dashed inside and shut the door.

"Vienna, how did you get here?"

"I… don't remember." She swayed.

"You need to leave. I'm having one on my cars take you home."

"No! No, please." She grabbed at my arm. "Justin, please. I just want to come inside and enjoy myself."

"You're wasted and high. Stop acting like a fool."

"You don't want me to come inside?" She pouted, dancing her fingers up my chest. "We used to be together all the time."

"Vienna, you're humiliating yourself." I pushed her away. "If Selena wanted you here…"

"Don't mention her name," she seethed. "It's always about her now. Everywhere I go, it's all about her."

"I don't want to hurt you, Vienna, but I will if you don't leave." I was trying to be civil. I felt pity for this woman.

"I see the way you look at her." She began crying. "You used to look at me that way."

"It was never the same, and you know that. I never loved you."

"But I loved you!" Vienna screamed. "I always have, and you just tossed me aside."

"Go home."

"This could have been my house." She looked around. "You could have been my husband. Those babies could have been mine. They should be mine."

"Vienna, you're crossing a line. Leave." I was more forceful with my tone.

"Or what, you're going to kill me like you did Aro? I'm not scared of you, Justin."

I took a step forward, and she flinched violently.

"Get off of my property. I don't want to see you ever again."

"You've said that before, Justin." She laughed humorlessly, walking towards me. "You've said it plenty of times, but I'm not going anywhere because I know you love me too."

"You're delusional and sad. Move on with your fucking life or you're in for a lot of disappointment."

Next thing I knew, her lips were on mine, sucking, biting, licking. Her fingers latched into my hair, pulling me closer, and my reflexes weren't fast enough at the moment to get her off. I didn't even know what was happening until it was too late.

"Come on, Justin. I know you want it." Vienna took my hand and shoved it between her legs. She wasn't wearing panties, so I felt everything.

I pushed her off of me, and she fell to the ground, snow flying out around her.

I was so shocked I didn't know how to respond. I was beyond furious. I wanted to strangle this woman and slap the ever-living shit out of her. My fists were shaking violently, so I stepped back.

I roared, "Who do you think you are?"

"I belong here," she wailed.

I kicked snow in her face, and she fell further backwards, sobbing pathetically.

I started to wipe my mouth clean. "Get her the fuck out!"

A group of security men engulfed her, and she started to scream in complaint. They held her tightly.

I turned around to go back inside, but stopped in my tracks when I saw Selena standing at the door. Her face was set in stone, her glare unfaltering.

"Selena, I didn't…" I began.

She held up her hand to stop me and started to walk down the stairs. Outside, in the snow and dim lights of the house, she looked incredibly beautiful, but that still didn't mask the fact that she was terrifyingly pissed.

"Bitch!" Vienna was shouted a slew of vulgar obscenities in Selena's direction.

Selena went right up to her. I wasn't close enough to hear the words between them, but it was obviously enough to make Vienna shake with fear… or anger. I wasn't sure which. I didn't dare walk forward. I had learned long ago that a fight between women was one not to get involved with.

Suddenly, Selena whipped her hand back and slapped Vienna across the face. It was so unexpected and forceful that I cringed slightly. The sound echoed off of the walls and left a mark on Vienna's cheek.

"Come near my family again and I'll shoot you myself." Selena's voice was uncharacteristically cold. "We've tried being nice to you, but you always come back for more. I won't put up with your shit any longer."

"I hate you," Vienna spat.

Selena began walking back over to me, her arms crossed. "I want her gone, Justin."

"She's leaving right now."

"No. I want her gone… from our lives," she clarified. "I can't have her threatening my family anymore."

The message was clear.

I nodded. "I'll handle it."

Selena bit her lip, and looked away from me for a quick second.

"I'm sorry about this." I took off my jacket, putting it over her shoulders.

"Just make sure I never I have to see that woman again." She began to walk back inside, leaving me alone to clean up the mess.

Vienna had since quieted down and kept hanging off of the security like a limp noddle. I lifted her head so that she could see me.

"I don't know what you did to make my wife so angry, but it couldn't be anything good. You're about to get everything you deserve, and I hope you rot in hell."

"You don't mean that." She slurred.

"I really do. You've taken things too far." I let her go limp again.

"What do you want us to do, sir?"

"Drop her somewhere; off a cliff, into a ravine, the lake. I don't care. Make sure she's dead and won't bother me again. Should I shoot her now or can you gentleman handle that yourselves?"

"We'll take care of it, sir." They began carrying a now sedated Vienna down the driveway.

"Good-fucking-riddance." I wiped my lips again for good measure.

Selena was sitting in one of the chairs on the porch, trying not to cry, and huddled in my jacket.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm not going to lie and tell you I'm fine. It's not a great feeling to see your husband get kissed by another woman."

"She's crazy, Selena. Don't put any stock in that."

"I'm not, but if I ever see her again, I don't know what I'll do."

"That won't be a problem. I promise you that." I sat next to her.

"She said she would kill Roman and Sophia if she ever got the chance."

I went rigid.

"She said that was the only reason you were still here; I trapped you."

"Selena, that's not true. You must know that by now." I took her hand.

"I know, but she's been saying that for a long time. I gets to me after a while."

We stayed quiet for a long minute, watching the snow fall.

"If anyone makes you feel uncomfortable like that again, please let me know. Don't try to fight them by yourself."

"I'll tell you one thing, before you even try to kiss me again, you need to go through an entire bottle of mouthwash." She smiled.

"Agreed."

Christmas morning came with a blizzard of snow. The grounds were covered in it, and I couldn't even open the door all the way. We were shut in, but it was fine since we weren't really doing anything anyway.

Francis woke us up, knowing that something exciting was happening. That was quickly followed by the babies who screamed in unison. It took us about half an hour to calm them down enough to start our morning. We dressed them in the most ridiculous red and green onesies. For once, they didn't protest.

The main tree in the family room was lit by the time we got downstairs and gifts over poured from underneath. In an effort to give Selena a break, I had sent her upstairs last night around ten and nearly locked her in our room. I did the gifts.

"Justin, you went overboard yet again." She kissed me, holding Sophia in her arms.

"I couldn't help myself." I shrugged. "Once I started with shopping, I couldn't stop. It's quite addictive."

"And you didn't want to go shopping last week."

"Everything can be done online nowadays. It's more fun that way."

"Look at all this stuff." Alec was stuck under the tree, trying to pull things out.

Carlisle and Esme had invited him to spend Christmas at their house. He declined politely. They hadn't shown up at the party, and I hadn't attempted to see them since. I spoke to Carlisle once, to invite him to Christmas dinner tonight. He gave me some bullshit "maybe" answer. He was isolating himself from me. It was his loss. I had a feeling Esme had different feelings on the subject, though. He still didn't realize I knew about his book. He would certainly be hearing about it soon.

The staff got a few days off and were all currently holed up at a ski lodge an hour away. Well, Katy Nana decided to stay. She wouldn't even entertain the idea of a vacation.

"Picture time." Selena handed me Sophia, and I sat on the couch with both babies in my arms. They were very active this morning.

"I don't think I can take any more of these photo sessions, Selena."

"Well, get used to it. We have at least eighteen more years of this." Selena began snapping. "This is only the beginning."

"Great. Do you hear that, babies? We'll have more pictures than we know what to do with." Both Sophia and Roman looked up at the sound of my voice. Their eyes were stark green, and I loved that.

The morning was more enjoyable than any Christmas I've had in recent memory. Granted, we didn't really do Christmas in Brazil, but this was still a lot of fun. I think it was different this year because I had a family and the happiness just wasn't about me anymore. Just to watch Selena and Alec go crazy over gifts was enough. I only wish that the babies were a little older so that they could enjoy the hundreds of things they received.

I got Selena everything under the sun since I never really asked her what she wanted. For over a month, I just kept collecting gifts for her. If I passed a jewelry store, I would pop my head in to take a look. Or a clothing boutique, shoe store; whatever caught my eye. Needless to say, she had boxes stacked up to the ceiling. The only thing I didn't get her this year was a new car, since there wasn't any more room in the garage.

Alec also received a hell of a lot. I was a fucking softie and spoiled him. He was a good kid, rarely drank, never touched an illegal drug, and got good grades. He was better than I was at that age and caused me little to no stress, so I didn't feel bad getting him extra shit. Plus, he stayed loyal to me when Carlisle and Esme returned. He was always on my side.

"Okay, it's your turn." Selena dragged a large wrapped box from underneath the tree.

"I told you not to get my anything," I scolded.

"That's ridiculous. You love getting gifts." She rolled her eyes.

"But not from you. I've said that for years."

"Well, I didn't spend one single cent on this."

"Really?" I set the heavy box on my lap and began to unwrap it.

"Don't make fun of me." She bit her lip.

"I would never do that. Did you make it?"

"You'll see."

I tried to be as delicate as possible so that I didn't tear anything important. I pulled the red paper off to reveal a simple shoe box. I looked at Selena with a confused expression, and she urged me to continue.

I lifted the lid to find a decent sized photo album bound in black leather. My initials were scribed in gold on the front cover.

"What is this?" I picked it carefully out of the box.

Selena shrugged, blushed, and ducked her head.

I opened it up and was shocked to see my younger self staring back at me. It was a close-up shot of Selena and me. It must have been taken right around the time when I first met her, at some family function. I looked like a fucking college kid compared to my appearance now, but there was a smile on both of our faces. There were a lot less stress wrinkles, that's for sure.

"Whoa." I brought it up closer so that I could see better. "How old is this?"

"The first time I came over your parents for dinner after church. One of your cousins had it. I've been begging family members for pictures since Thanksgiving." She turned the page.

There were a couple more of our earlier years, some of them posed and others candid. I was smiling in every fucking one, always staring Selena down with a gaze that could only be described as "loving". There must have been hundreds of pictures in there, and every page was filled. The end featured a lot with the babies and me, right after they were born mostly and other shots that I wasn't even aware of.

"You've been busy." I tried to speak clearly, but there was something in my throat. I coughed. "This is… great, wonderful. Thank you."

"I kept saying to myself that there wasn't anything I could buy you, so I might as well make it." She scooted closer to me. "Do you really like it?"

"Of course I do. I can't wait to go through all of these. Our whole history is in this book."

She breathed a sigh of relief, "Good."

"Thank you." I kissed her as much as I could with our awkward position.

"Merry Christmas." She wrapped her arms around me.

"Merry Christmas. I'm going to keep this thing forever."

She pulled away and wiped her face. "I'm being so emotional. I can't help it."

I chuckled at how cute she was. "I have one last gift for you."

"Really, Justin? I can't take much more."

"This is it, I promise." I got up from my seat and went to the closet on the other side of the room. I brought the rather large box over to the tree, trying not to jostle it too much. It was already shaking a little.

Selena's eyes shone when I sat it in front of her.

"What is it?" Alec inched forward.

"It's not yours, so it doesn't matter," I snapped.

"Fine," he huffed.

Selena lifted up the lid, and her mouth hung open slightly. She picked up the small dark brown puppy and pulled him out of the box. He was a rambunctious little thing, licking at her face and being an overly excited newborn. His fur was almost the exact same shade as Selena's hair color, which I found funny. His eyes were black and those floppy ears were his selling point. He just looked at Selena, and she melted. He had a bright red bow around his neck. Amun convinced me that was a necessity.

"Justin, you got me a dog?" she cooed.

"Yup. The same one you nearly cried over on the street."

"I don't even know what to say." She held the puppy closer. "He's so cute."

"He's been at the vet for the past week. I had to make sure the thing was clean."

I was so glad that Francis was sleeping in a different room, because I didn't know how he would react to this.

"Another dog?" Alec held out his hands, and Selena put him in them. "This is great. And he's a German Shepherd. We can teach him how to be badass."

"What do we name him?" Selena petted his head.

"Whatever you want. Just keep him away from my stuff. I don't think he's housetrained yet."

Katy Nana shuffled into the room, but backed out quickly so that no one saw her. She peeked her head around the corner and motioned for me to come over. I subtly nodded.

"Sweetheart, I'm going to go get us some eggnog."

"Okay." She nodded, barley paying attention to me anymore.

I quickly went into the hallway.

"What is it?" I asked.

"I didn't mean to interrupt the day, but I thought you might want to see this." She handed me this morning's paper.

There—amongst the holiday joy and wonderful snippets of cheer—was a small blurb about the death of Vienna Volturi. She was found at the bottom of a lake with stones in her pockets. The coroner called it an accidental suicide since her blood alcohol level was triple the legal limit, but the man who wrote the article slanted it as if she was murdered. It had been seven days exactly since I last saw her.

I didn't bother reading the thing thoroughly.

"I was wondering if we should keep this from Mrs. Selena. That might be the best thing for now," Katy Nana said.

I looked around the corner. Selena was happily making faces at Roman and Sophia. Alec was right along with her, dressing them up in their new Christmas outfits. The new dog was very nervously walking around the room, trying to sniff things out. It was picture perfect.

"I think you're right," I agreed.

This had been the best Christmas of my life, and I wasn't going to ruin it with anything. Especially not the insignificant death of Vienna Volturi.

SELENA POV

"The angel of Death brings no freedom to the wicked. In its place, pain and destruction survive."-Socrates

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer

I sipped my coffee and sat on the sofa, watching the snow melt outside. I was more than happy to let the cold go. It was the first of March and spring was right around the corner. I was ready for some sun.

On this rare day, when the babies were sleeping, the house was quiet, and no one needed my attention, I took the time to think about everything going on in my life.

Somehow, the drama was at a minimum. Hell, it was almost nonexistent, compared to last year at this time. But I think that was because Justin and I had learned how to deal with it all better. We were really good at leaving the extra shit behind and focusing on each other.

The babies were healthy, and we were happy. That was what really mattered. Of course, there was always something going on with the family, mainly Carlisle and Esme. We had ostracized them, left them out in the cold to rot. The only thing "Bieber" about the two now was their last name. They still hadn't even seen the babies. Justin wouldn't allow it.

There was a huge fight about a month ago, something to do with a book that Carlisle was writing. It apparently had things in it that shouldn't, and Justin blew up like I've never seen before. The things he said to Carlisle were some of the most vulgar and toxic utterances I had ever heard in my life. They weren't on good terms, so neither was anyone else. Esme would try to call, but I didn't have much to say to her. She was allowing her husband to write this thing that would hurt our family, and I didn't want anything to do with it. She stopped begging to see the babies after a month or so. They stopped coming to church, they didn't talk to any of us, and Justin had all but placed a scarlet letter on their chests. I was sticking by my husband on this.

Besides that, things were good.

Roman and Sophia were growing every day. At six and a half months old, they were very advanced for their development. I almost started crying the other day when Sophia tried to crawl. She didn't make it very far, but I was terrified and overjoyed at the same time. Little Roman had a mind of his own. He rolled around like a tire. If I just set him on the floor for a minute, he would take off and try to roll away. It was exhausting keeping up with him.

They were eating pureed food now, and we stocked up on hundreds of mashed products. Thankfully, they took to it well and were both sitting in highchairs with easer. I was so proud of them, even though I was sure all mothers say that.

We had a slight health scare when Roman had a bad cough about two months ago. It was right after New Year's, and it sounded like he couldn't really breathe. We rushed him to the hospital where he stayed for some observation, but the doctor said this might be happening more often as his lungs began to grow. I got so terrified at night because I was always thinking about Roman. What if he stopped breathing? What if we couldn't get him to the hospital in time? Now I saw why mothers don't get enough sleep. It was impossible.

"Mrs. Selena!" a scream came from upstairs.

My heart stopped, and I set my coffee on the table, running out of the room. I took the stairs two at a time, worried about what might be happening.

"Where the hell are you?" I shouted.

"In your room," Agata called back.

I hurriedly opened the door and let out a frustrated sigh when I went into the closet.

"I was trying to hang up your laundry, and I found him in here. I don't know why to do. Mr. Justin is going to kill me." Agata looked like she might start crying.

Bosco, the new dog, was ripping one of Justin's shoes to pieces. And it wasn't just any shoe, either. It was one of Justin's favorites.

"Not again!" I pulled at my hair. "Bosco, stop it."

I started to rip the shoe from his mouth, but he thought I was trying to play and tugged harder. Agata helped, and we yanked with all our might, but it was no use. My grasp slipped, and I fell to the floor into a pile of freshly folded laundry.

Bosco tackled me, licking my face and slobbering all over me.

I giggled as his tongue tickled my skin. "Get off of me. You're in trouble."

While Francis was the obedient, good dog, Bosco was the opposite. He was the rowdy teenager who could be fiercely protective, but made messes that were disastrous. I kept trying to convince Justin that Bosco had a good heart, but he hated this dog with a passion. I even heard him muttering in his sleep a couple of times about how he wanted to run the poor thing over with his car.

To be fair, Bosco didn't like Justin either. They would glare at each other and have silent fights. I think Bosco just liked getting on his nerves, which he found out was fairly easy to do. The good thing was that Bosco never once snapped or bit anyone. He was always playful, and I loved him to death, but he became another item on my list of duties.

The dog was getting bigger by the day. I didn't know that German Shepherds tended to eat… a lot, and he was almost up to my knees at this point. There were huge bags of food in the storage closet downstairs, but Bosco could devour them all in no time. Even Francis couldn't keep up. Thankfully, those two got along fine. They were like best friends, but Francis knew when to back off of Justin. Bosco didn't. As a result, Francis and Justin were never separated. Whenever I wanted to find one, I just had to find the other. They were always together.

"Justin is going to throw a fit." I picked up the shoe and let the drool pour out. He licked his chops.

"I'm so sorry, Mrs. Selena." Agata bit her lip.

"It's not a problem," I assured her. "You did nothing wrong."

She nodded and smiled, continuing to put away the laundry.

I got up from the floor and grabbed Bosco by his red collar, dragging him out of the room. His heavy feet padded down the stairs, and I opened the back door to let him run free in the yard.

"You're in big trouble when Justin gets home," I said to him. "I can't save you this time."

He ran off to chase something in the wet grass.

Francis sat at my feet, watching Bosco. I could have sworn I saw him shake his head in shame. He tried to set an example for the young one, but it never worked.

I shut the door just as the phone began to ring. I rushed to get it, but of course Gioni beat me there. He liked to piss me off like that. I could at least answer the phone by myself, but he wouldn't hear of it.

"Bieber residence. Of course, Mr. Bieber." He handed me the phone. "It's Mr. Justin for you."

"Thank you." I took it, "Justin?"

"Hello, sweetheart."

"Hi. I didn't get a chance to see you this morning before you left."

"I know. I had to be in really early and didn't want to wake you. How has your day been?"

"Oh, you know; the usual. Babies to change, dogs to feed, staff to argue with."

"Would you like the evening off?"

"Sure."

"Come have dinner with me in the city. We can go out for a nice date."

"Really? That would actually be kind of great." I sighed. "Can I meet you in about an hour?"

"Sure. William will pick you up."

"Okay. Let me go make myself beautiful."

"Selena, you're already beautiful to me."

I swooned.

"Well…thank you." I blushed.

"You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No!"

He chuckled, "See you soon."

William dropped me off at one of Justin's favorite places. It was a tiny, private Italian restaurant with enough room for about ten small circular tables. It reminded me of a movie with soft music playing and only candle light illuminating the area. The food was incredibly fresh and homemade, which made Justin a very happy man.

He was seated in the far corner of the restaurant, reading through some emails on his phone. He put it away when he saw me approaching.

"Finally. I haven't seen you all day." He stood, kissed me, and pulled out my chair. "It's been hell."

"Really? What have you been up to?"

"I don't even really know." He chuckled, taking off his glasses to clean the lenses before putting them back on. "I'm so fucking tired, though."

"I know. You barely sleep anymore. Something's going on that you're not telling me."

"For your protection, of course."

"Of course." I sipped my water.

Justin had been very strange for the past two months. All the Bieber men had, actually. There was a huge investigation going on about the disappearance of some very high profile crime bosses. They just vanished, without a trace. One-by-one, they were falling off the face of the earth, no explanation or investigation. Justin was probably behind it. Correction, Justin was definitely behind it.

"And how are my children? Good, I hope." He grinned.

"They're feisty as ever. Roman refused to eat today so he spit peas in my hair."

"I told you he won't eat that stuff. He has to have sweet potatoes. Sophia is the one who likes peas."

"Well, I'm trying to make him sample it, at least. Peas are healthy for you."

"Gross." Justin shuddered.

"Like father like son, I guess."

"We have an appointment tomorrow to visit a pre-school downtown."

"I know. I didn't forget. I still think it's too early, though."

"It's never too early to have an education. I was talking to one of our neighbors and he has his one year old in math classes. I'll be damned if that baby gets a leg up on ours."

"But they can't even talk yet," I argued. "I'm not saying we shouldn't look into it, but we can at least wait a little longer."

"You just don't want them to leave you at home bored."

"That's ridiculous." I put my napkin in my lap, trying to hide my face from him.

"I know you too well, Selena. You can't lie to me."

"I'm plenty busy, thank you."

"By the way, your boss keeps calling me."

"I don't have a boss."

"From the TV station. He says he's trying to get in contact with you, and you're ignoring his calls."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." I shrugged.

"You don't want to go back to work, do you?"

"Not particularly."

"Then why didn't you say anything?"

"I just don't want to miss the babies growing up. Every day they do something amazing, and I would hate myself if I worked through it all."

"Like me?"

"No, not like you. You're home most of the time," I said regretfully. I didn't want him to feel badly. "But it's just different with me. I can't take my eyes off of them. I want to stay home for now."

"That's perfectly fine with me. I don't have a problem with it, but you've got to call the guy back. He's starting to annoy me."

I nodded. "First thing in the morning."

"Good."

Our food arrived just as my stomach was about to eat itself. I hadn't realized how hungry I was until I smelled the aromas around me. Justin and I had a peaceful meal. He was in very rare spirits lately, laughing and smiling at lot.

"Oh, we had another accident at home?" I told him as we were finished up.

"What happened?" His grin faded. "Who got hurt?"

"No one, but your shoes are being destroyed."

"Which shoes? Not my brown Armani shoes."

"Sorry."

"I'm going to kill him."

"He can't help it."

"Selena, he does this on purpose," Justin grunted. "He's got to go. I hate that mutt."

"No, you don't. Bosco is just adventurous."

"Well, why can't he be adventurous with your shoes?"

"Because he loves you more." I made a half-hearted attempt to suck up.

"He does not love me. I won't allow it. He's a dirty beast that needs to stay outside."

"What if Francis started eating your stuff, would you hate him too?"

"Francis would never do such a thing. He knows better. I'm putting him in obedience training. He can't keep acting like this. Last night, I found him in the library eating a book. He was ripping apart my first edition copy of The Great Gatsby. I'm going to shoot that thing."

"I think obedience training is good enough. He'll be perfect once he goes through that."

"I hate him, and it's your fault. I can't believe I got you another dog."

"I happen to love the cutie. He's getting so big."

"Yeah, we'll see how long we keep him." Justin got up from the table and helped me with my coat.

We walked outside into the chilly night and almost got ran over by some bike messenger. He screamed his apologies, but kept on peddling.

"I hate this city," Justin griped. "I want to move."

"We can't move. You have obligations here."

"I don't care. I can do work from… a beach in Brazil, for instance."

"I don't think the family would be too keen on that."

"Who cares? I can do whatever I want," he protested.

"No, you can't. We're not moving because the babies need stability while their growing up."

William screeched to a halt on the side of the road and got out of the car to hold the door open.

"You go home. I have a couple more hours of work to do." Justin pulled me close to him.

"More work? But you've already had a fourteen hour day. It's time to rest."

"Wish I could." He rested his forehead against mine.

"Are you sure I can't convince you? There are a lot of fun things to do at home."

"Well, what did you have in mind, Mrs. Bieber?"

"Use your imagination."

"I have a dirty mind. You might not like what's inside."

"I think I'm prepared for it." I kissed him urgently, my hands traveling up his chest and into his hair.

"Selena… please don't do this," he pleaded as my lips played with his, teasing and nipping as I went.

"Do what?" I replied innocently.

"Okay, okay. I'll go, but half the world is going to be pissed that they didn't get their shipment of guns."

"Half the world can wait. Mrs. Bieber is horny." I pulled him into the car by his tie.

William took off, driving like a mad man.

"Selena, you're a temptress of the worst kind." Justin huskily spoke while kissing up my neck. "I'm highly shocked by your forward and brazen actions."

"I can't help it."

Thank God the backseat was big enough for us to lie vertically. Justin hitched my leg over his hip and pushed deep against my center.

"Oh, wow," I squeaked out.

"You are in for a very interesting night," he nearly growled into my ear.

"I can't wait."

"William, hurry the fuck up!" Justin kicked the back of his chair.

"I'm trying, sir. There's an accident up ahead."

"Damn it!" he barked. "Fine. Take the next right and drop us off at the Marshall Hotel."

"Justin, we need to go home. The babies…"

"The babies can spend one night alone." He silenced me with rough kisses.

Five minutes later, I was nearly carried into the hotel; William barely had time to open the door before Justin rushed us out. We checked in and raced into the elevators like horny teenagers after prom.

Justin had me up against the mirrored wall as we rode up. Unfortunately, a father and his two kids got on the elevator on the second floor. We were pushed into a corner, and Justin made inappropriate noises of frustration under his breath.

"Stop it," I whispered.

We rode up in silence for another ten floors before they got off, leaving us alone once again. Justin and I continued kissing for the rest of the floors.

"I have to open the door," he whispered against my lips as he fumbled with the key in the hallway.

"I'm not stopping you."

"I can't see." He chuckled, reaching behind me. The door finally clicked open, and I was forced inside.

My jacket was gone and shoes were kicked off, as I laid back into the bed.

"Selena, you are about to be defiled in every way possible." Justin quickly worked on his tie.

"I would love that." I put my hands above my head.

"Turn over." He ordered.

"What?"

"Over. Now." He got on the large bed, rolling me until I was on my stomach. He lifted my shirt so that my lower back was exposed.

Justin dipped his head, and I gasped quietly as his teeth began softly biting the flesh. He placed wet kisses on my back and began taking my shirt off as he traveled up my spine. After another minute, my shirt was gone completely, but I still had my bra on. I stayed faced down in the covers as Justin began to lick almost every part of my back, and I couldn't help the moans that went through my body from the feel of his lips on my skin. It was indescribable.

"I don't want you to move unless I say," Justin groaned hoarsely.

"Yes, sir," I replied breathlessly.

Justin's arms snaked around my body until they were underneath me. He lifted my hips slightly so he could fumble with the button on my jeans before slowly pulling them down my legs, nipping at the back of my thighs as he did.

"Am I going to have to beg again?" I asked.

"Depends on how good you are." He chuckled against my calf and took my jeans off all the way.

I hated when he did this slow and sweet thing. It really did get on my nerves. I just wanted him to fuck the brains out of me without holding anything back, but he rarely did that for fear of hurting me.

He began traveling back up my body until he reached the clasp of my bra and unhooked it with his teeth. Needless to say, I was impressed with that trick.

I heard my sighs turn into moans and I didn't know how much longer I could take this without jumping on him, but I tried. I turned my head and saw a full length mirror on the wall, showing our reflections. He didn't seem to notice or didn't seem to care, but either way, the sight of him on top of my body licking and biting was incredibly hot.

By this time, my panties were ruined from wetness, and I knew they weren't ever going to be dry again.

"Justin, you have to stop teasing me," I panted.

"I haven't even started yet," he said darkly and I knew this was going to be pure torture.

Justin kept me face down as he tantalizingly pulled my panties towards my ankles, and then flicked them into the corner.

I made the move to turn over but Justin's strong hands caught me before I could. "I told you to stay put," he said firmly.

I watched in the mirror as he began raking his heated hands up my naked body, squeezing when he reached my sensitive areas. His eyes locked in on mine in the reflection, and I didn't ever want to look away. I felt the bed move as he got off. He was back on within a couple seconds, but this time, he pushed his naked body on top of mine, and I squealed as I felt his hardness against my back.

Justin moved my hair to the side and placed wet kisses on my neck. "I want you on all fours," he growled in my ear, and I smiled happily because this was my favorite position.

He moved me slowly so that I was hovering with my weight on my elbows with my ass in the air. I watched in the mirror as Justin brought his hand between my legs and felt the groan erupt from my mouth as he slowly dragged his fingers over my slit.

"Jesus, Selena, you're so wet," he snarled.

I couldn't reply because my entire brain shut off. I was in such a state of lust that I don't think I even remembered my name.

He moved a finger so that it was inside of me, and I gasped as went deep into my body causing me to lightly shake. He added another finger after a minute of steady movement, and I didn't know how much more I could take.

"Please, Justin?" I begged, and I saw him smirk in the mirror.

He moved so that he was positioned at my entrance from behind, and then thrust deep into my body with a growl.

"Holy fuck," Justin breathed and started moving slowly so that his hips rolled into mine.

I could already feel my walls begin to clamp down, but I wasn't done yet, so I pushed back the pleasure. He continued to move within me and after a minute or two picked up the speed.

He panted as he movements got even faster; the sound of our flesh colliding sent my mind reeling. I looked in the mirror and saw how his hips rammed into mine and his hands grabbing at my ass.

The sound of slapping flesh filled the room, and our whimpers turned more guttural with each passing second.

He spread my legs wider and brought his hand down to begin rubbing the place where we connected. That was as much as I could take, because a second later, both our bodies erupted and I felt myself turn to jelly.

"Fuck." We both yelled at the same time and let the pleasure rip through our bodies.

He lied on top of me while staying connected and placed light kisses on my shoulders while I tried to catch my breath.

"That was… too good." I licked my lips.

"We're going again," he demanded, lifting me up into his arms and placing me on my back.

Four mind-numbing hours later, we collapsed against each other for the last time. I was so sore, it hurt to breathe. Justin's hands never left my body, feeling my skin and pulling me closer to him.

"This has been the best sex of my life," he admitted.

I groaned. That was the only thing I could come up with.

"Did I kill you?" Justin, seemingly happy with his sexual accomplishments for the night, laughed heartily.

"I'm so spent."

"That's what happens when your husband is an Olympic Sex Master."

"Is that what we're calling it nowadays?"

"Yes, and there's plenty more where that came from." He rolled on top of me, his tip barely enticing my entrance.

"How can you still be hard? You're a fucking machine." I laid further into the pillows.

"Genetics? Experience? Take your pick."

"It's not healthy." I pushed him off playfully. "I'm all for the multiple orgasms, but I'm going to fall apart in a minute."

"You're an amateur."

"Compared to you, everyone is."

Justin placed his hands behind his head. "I can't help that."

I pulled the sheet around my body and started to clamber over his body to get to the phone.

"Who are you calling?" he asked.

"The house. We really should tell them that we won't be home tonight." I began dialing the numbers. "And I want to wish the babies goodnight."

Justin rolled his eyes.

Gioni picked up. "Bieber residence."

"Hi, this is Selena," I said excitedly.

"Oh, Mrs. Bieber, how nice to hear from you tonight," he replied, his voice all-knowing about the inappropriate actions going on in this hotel room.

"I was just calling to see how everything is going. How are the babies? Have they been fed? Are they sleeping? Can I talk to them?"

Justin took the phone from me. "Gioni, Mrs. Bieber is having a slight meltdown. Please inform her that everything is fine before she goes into shock."

I snatched the phone back.

"All is well. Katy Nana has attended to the young ones. and they are sleeping for the night."

"Did you give Roman his inhaler? He needs it every night before bed."

"Yes, we remembered."

"Good," I sighed in relief. "And the dogs," I whispered.

"Oh, that's another matter on its own. Bosco, the little terror, has decided to sleep on the leather couch in Mr. Justin's office. His claws are scratching up the upholstery."

Justin heard the conversation and took the phone. "Get that dog out of my house! Put him in the fucking yard and tie him to a tree. We'll be back in the morning, and if that thing has ruined any more of my stuff, I'll kill him."

He slammed the receiver down with a clang. I cringed.

"I'm sorry," I said.

"Selena, if I didn't love you so much, I would have that thing made into a rug."

"Don't say that."

"It's true. He's going to some kind of doggy school where they teach him manners. I won't stand for it."

I nodded. "But you have to admit this is kind of funny."

"I beg to differ." Justin sat up, swinging his legs over the bed.

I went up behind him, starting to massage his shoulders. "We can get rid of him, if you really want to."

He sighed, "No. You love that dog."

"But you hate him."

"He just needs training. I'll survive." Justin ran his hands through his hair.

"How about," I kissed his neck, "we get a couples' massage and work all this stress out of your body."

"In case you haven't noticed, the sex put me in a rather lethargic mood. A massage seems redundant." He smirked.

"Well, I want one."

"Ah, the root of the request. You want a massage."

"But it's more fun if it's for couples." I reached for the phone again and dialed the front desk.

The next morning, William pulled up in front of the house and I nearly fell out of the car.

Gioni opened the door with a smile. "Nice to have you home."

"Where are the babies?" I asked immediately.

"Still sleeping."

"Still?"

"Well, they woke up earlier and are down again."

"Damn." I really wanted to see them, but I knew not to wake sleeping babies.

"See, Selena, I told you." Justin came into the house. "Just relax."

"I don't like spending the night away from them. It doesn't feel right."

"And where have you two been?" Alec's voice bellowed. "I was up half the night until Gioni told me you were staying in the city. I've been worried sick."

"Thanks, Dad." Justin pushed past him, going into the kitchen. "We just needed grownup time. Away from kids."

"You could have called."

"We did," I said.

"Called me."

"Please. You aren't the keeper of my schedule," Justin argued.

"Well, I should be. I thought you were out doing…"

"Don't! Shut your mouth right now before you saying something you shouldn't." Justin's voice carried throughout the kitchen.

Both of their eyes shifted to mine. Once again, they were up to something and wouldn't say what. It was probably something dangerous and illegal. They knew I would kill them if it was something too bad, so it was just best for me to stay out of the loop for now.

Justin sat on a stool, and Agata handed him a glass of orange juice.

"I was still worried." Alec sat as well. "But I kept the babies entertained. They love me."

"They love everyone," I said, "Don't be too flattered."

"They're so cute."

Justin grunted some kind of reply.

"You're really not a morning person, are you?" Alec asked.

Before any of us could say anything else, we heard the loud padding of feet that could only be coming from one animal.

"Oh, God." Justin banged his head on the counter.

Bosco rounded the corner so fast that he hit the opposite wall before correcting himself and running into the kitchen. He went straight for Justin, putting his front feet on his lap.

"I told you he was in love." I petted his ears.

"I'm done being civil with him. Gioni, call a trainer! Someone from the military or animal control. This thing needs extra help."

"Yes, sir. Right away."

There was a lot going on in the kitchen, but the baby monitor was on loud so I could hear the wail of a baby. I ran up the stairs faster than I ever thought possible, part worried and part excited to see my children.

Roman and Sophia were both awake, rolling around in their crib.

"I'm here." I lifted Roman up into my arms. "I'm right here. It's okay."

He quieted down. I missed him so much last night, and I knew it was irrational, but I couldn't help it. They were my world, and when I was away from them, it hurt. Was that normal? I was a young mother, but that didn't mean I loved my children any less than if I was older.

"How was your night?" I kissed his forehead. "Were you a good little boy?"

"Katy Nana said they were perfect without us." Justin entered the room, picking up Sophia. "We have very well behaved babies."

"I wouldn't expect anything less."

"I can't wait until they're older when they can understand us."

"I bet they can, but can't respond, obviously." I bounced Roman in my arms.

"Someone needs a change." Justin laid Sophia down. He switched out diapers like a pro, without a word of disgust or revulsion. "There. All fresh."

The next morning, I had to take the kids for a checkup at the doctor's.

It was rather uneventful. They got a few shots and the basic lookover. I was thankful that nothing was wrong with either of them, and even with his underdeveloped lungs, Roman was doing well.

After that, I had William take us over to Justin's office. I hadn't been in a while and it was nice out so I didn't want to go home yet. We got waves on our way through the lobby, and since no one had really seen the babies before, we were stopped several times. Everyone always wanted to talk to you when you had newborns.

We finally made it up to Justin's floor and Mario greeted me at the elevator.

"Hello." He waved.

"Hi."

"Security told me you were coming up." He bent down and waved at the babies in their double stroller. "Do you need water or anything?"

"No, I'm good. Is Justin around? We just wanted to come see him."

"He's in an interview right now, but he should be done in a second."

"An interview?" My eyebrows rose.

"Yeah, he's getting a new lawyer. Mr. Jenks is retiring."

"Since when?"

"Since his wife is making him. Health reasons."

"Hmm. I wonder if I could pull that off," I thought out loud. "Is he stressing over it?"

"You know he is. He hasn't eaten lunch in about a week. I don't know when he gets the chance to even breathe."

"Okay, clear his schedule for tomorrow, please." I began pushing the stroller down the hall.

"I can't do that without his permission."

"I'm giving you permission."

Jane, who was on the phone, hung up when she saw me coming and nearly bounced over to see the babies. She held Sophia close and started making all kinds of noises.

"You came to visit us today!" she exclaimed. "The day just got ten times better. Justin is riding my ass so much these days."

"I'm sorry. Has he been saying anything bad?"

"Not particularly. He's just… um, aggressive." Jane phrased herself carefully.

The door to Justin's office opened and a rather irritated man stepped out. He looked pissed as fuck and stomped over to Jane's desk.

"That man in there is a pyscho."

"I take it the interview didn't go as you would have hoped." Jane put Sophia back in the stroller.

"No. He's ridiculous."

"I'm so sorry for the inconvenience…"

"Get out!" Justin bellowed from his room. "I don't want you anywhere near my office, and especially not with my wife in the vicinity."

"Go to hell!" The man angrily began marching towards the elevators.

I stood stunned for a couple of seconds. Justin's face was red and not pleased, at all. He calmed down quickly, but you could still tell that he was upset about something.

"Wow. That was interesting," I muttered.

"I'm sorry you had to see that," Justin apologized. "That bastard and his fucking…"

I stopped him. "Justin, we talked about swearing in front of the babies."

He inhaled, closed his eyes, and then exhaled. He did this several times. "Today is not a good day for you to be here."

"I know. I should have called."

"It's fine. I'll just need to rearrange my schedule a little. We're supposed to be seeing schools anyway."

"No, don't do that. We just wanted to stop by for a second."

"I need a break. What about lunch, does that sound good?"

I nodded.

"Jane, can you give me a free hour, please?"

"No problem. Go eat."

Justin took the stroller from me and began pushing it towards the elevators. The babies were very excited to see him, waving their arms around and squealing.

"I had Mario clean your schedule for tomorrow. You're not going to work," I told him.

"That's ridiculous. I have things to do that can't be ignored."

"Justin, you're going to kill yourself if you keep going like this."

"It's what I have to do. I can't help it."

We rode down towards the cafeteria. It was fairly sparse today compared to the other times I came down here. Justin and I ordered light sandwiches before sitting down.

"You are going to be an eater like your Uncle Emmett," Justin said to Roman while feeding him his sweet potatoes. "He just keeps on going."

"Well, to be fair, babies are supposed to eat a lot." I stopped Sophia from grabbing her jar of peas. I was determined not to make a mess this time.

"True."

"We need to talk about something kind of important." I fed Sophia.

"And what is that?"

"Me going back on birth control."

"Oh? Is that what you want?"

"Well, I figure I need to unless you want another kid in nine months. I, for one, can't handle that right now."

"Agreed," Justin chuckled, "but it's not my decision. If you think that's what you need to do, then go ahead."

"Would… you want more kids?" I asked, trying to be nonchalant.

"When the time is right, sure."

"How many more?"

"However many you'll give me." He was trying desperately to help Roman eat, but he kept opening up his mouth, letting the sweet potatoes fall out.

"We'll see where we are in three years." I wanted more kids, of course, but not so close together that we were completely exhausted. But then again, I didn't want them so far apart that everyone was disconnected. Three years seemed like a perfect amount of time to wait.

"Roman, stop that. You have to finish your lunch," Justin said sternly. "And now you're making a mess."

I handed him a wipe, and he began cleaning up Roman's face, which was currently splashed with all kinds of pureed food.

"He does this on purpose," Justin complained, wiping his own face free of food.

"I think it's cute."

Before we could continue the conversation any further, Jane ran into the room. She was out of breath and frantically looking around. She spotted us in the corner and came gliding over.

"They've moved your meeting up at the preschool by an hour," she wheezed. "You have to leave now."

"What?" Justin choked out. "Did they give any explanation?"

"I don't know." She shrugged. "Something about the headmaster going home early. I'm not sure, but you two need to get over there."

"Okay, well…. can you take care of the babies until we get back?" I asked her, gathering up my stuff.

"Yeah, they'll be fine. Mario and I can handle them."

"They've been feed and will need to be burped soon. Then they can just go down for their naps," Justin instructed, standing up.

"Everything will be fine. Go!" She pushed us forward.

Justin and I were in the car in record time, speeding off through the crowded streets with William at the wheel.

"Okay, so what do I need to know about this preschool?" I asked.

"It's in an old bank, which is interesting, and has a wonderful track record with higher education. They start early with developmental math and speech."

"Do they play with blocks and stuff?"

"Selena, this is not the kind of place where they play with blocks," he replied in disgust.

"Well, the babies need fun."

"You can have fun at home. School is for work."

Justin and I had every different ideas of education. I wanted Roman and Sophia to have the best in life, of course, but they were just babies. I didn't want them growing up too fast. Preschool and the early years were a time to just be kids.

"I'm guessing you went to this preschool?" I said, not bothering to leave the acid from my voice.

"In fact, I did," he said smugly, "and then to Catholic school after that. I don't know about you, but that's something I don't want to subject Roman and Sophia to."

"Catholic school?"

"Yes. It's the worst experience in the world."

"Sir," William rolled down the partition of the car, "we have a problem."

"Yes." He sighed.

"Um… that thing… we were discussing earlier… It's happening now."

"That thing?" Justin questioned, before it dawned on him. "Oh, shit!"

"Yes, so what would you like me to do?"

Justin pondered for a minute, muttering to himself and then snapping out of it. "Take Selena home."

"I don't think there's time, sir. I would have to drive all the way back across town."

"Damn." Justin pulled out a very large gold gun from behind him, checking the chamber. "Selena, listen to me very carefully. I need to you stay in the car and don't move a muscle, is that understood?"

"What's going on?"

"Something very important." That's all he said. I doubted I would get anything else out of him.

The car took a sharp right, and we were off onto another part of the city, our appointment at the preschool forgotten. I stayed silent on the way, just thinking about what could be going on. Justin's leg bounced, which only happened if he got nervous.

"Justin, should I be worried?" I asked quietly.

"No. Everything's fine."

We ended up at the recreational docks near the water. William parked in a secluded alley and kept the car running Seagulls cawed above, and it was fairly quiet since it was still too cold for sailboats to be out. There was a single black car waiting further down the alley.

"I'll be right back. Don't get out of the car, no matter what happens." Justin gripped my hand and squeezed. "Everything's all right. I promise."

"I don't like this," I admitted, my voice weak and questioning.

Justin kissed the side of my face and then opened the door. "Please stay here."

When he shut the door, the locks clicked with a loud, enforcing sound.

"Everything's fine, Mrs. Bieber. He knows what he's doing."

"I sure hope so." I slunk down into my seat, but still kept my line of vision.

Justin stood near the other car and stepping out, I saw Shinobu. I had only met the man a couple of times, but he had never really intimidated me like some of the other mob bosses. I didn't find him imposing at all. He was skinny and just seemed unimportant next to Justin.

They talked for a second, both of them clearly uncomfortable with the situation and trying to seem professional. Their lips moved and their heads bobbed in silent conversation. When Shinobu looked towards our car, Justin's pose changed, but then relaxed slightly.

He seemed so different compared to minutes ago when we were just having a leisurely drive. It had been a long time since I had since this side of him.

Justin made sure his gun was visible during the talk, which seemed to drag on for quite some time. When Shinobu pulled out his own gun, my breath hitched. I knew something bad was about to happen just by Justin's stance. He wasted no time, raising his firearm to Shiobu's head.

I wanted to shut my eyes, but couldn't.

Justin was forcefully yelling now, his face turning red, and I could see a prominent vein in his neck emerge. I was sure his voice was raised six decibel levels, and I was somewhat glad that I couldn't hear his rage. Shinobu either didn't care or want to waste the effort to fight him. The barrel of Justin's gun was basically pushing a hole through his head.

"What is going on?" I whispered to myself as I watched Shinobu submit to Justin, falling to his knees. He didn't look sad or scared at all, but more resigned to the fact that he was probably going to die within the next couple of seconds.

Justin took Shinobu's head roughly and pushed it forward, leaning him until his stomach was on the floor. Shinobu opened his mouth wide and placed it on the curb. It almost looked like he was trying to take a bite out of the pavement.

What happened next, I wouldn't even imagine in my worst nightmares.

Justin lifted his foot and brought it down hard on the back of Shinobu's head. I could almost hear the snap of his jaw and could his teeth shatter. It was such a simple yet violent act. I covered my mouth and jerked away from the horrible sight of blood splattered concrete.

It took me more than a minute to breathe. I just couldn't do it. I felt so sick and so terrified. I had no idea I would be attending an execution when I woke up this morning. This wasn't the first time I had seen Justin murder someone, but it was surely the most violent.

The car door opened and the smell assaulted my nose like a sickness; the Italian leather of Justin's shoe and Shinobu's blood. I kept myself on the far edge of the car, not looking at him.

"I'm going to have William take you home." Justin's voice was cold, dangerous, and unsympathetic, yet fluid and calm. The fresh kill didn't matter to him. They never did.

I tried to speak, but couldn't.

"I'm sorry you had to see that, Selena." His hand rubbed mine for a quick second. "Make sure she gets back."

"Yes, sir. Of course." William nodded.

The door shut and the car engine revved as William sped away.

JUSTIN POV

"All the great things are simple, and many can be expressed in a single word: freedom, justice, honor, duty, mercy, hope."-Winston Churchill

All things Twilight related belong to Stephanie Meyer

I drove the Mercedes smoothly and steadily, letting my hands caress the steering wheel to calm my nerves. I tried to go as slow as possible, watching my surroundings pass me by. The twisted and gnarled wrought iron gates of our house were up ahead. Large C's were warped into the metal on each side, loudly announcing who lived beyond the entrances, just in case you didn't know.

The guard, who basically lived in the same spot, never moving or leaving, noticed me and the gates slowly opened. I purposefully let my foot idle over the pedal before pushing the car forward. I crept up towards the house, which stood grand and lofty, illuminated by lights on all sides. Men with guns silently crept around the grounds, patrolling and keeping my most precious items safe.

I got out of the car and didn't even bother turning it off. Someone would put it in the garage later. I was more concerned with getting inside.

With my clothes grimy and my shoes still bloody, I climbed the stairs of our elaborate stone porch and the door opened without question. Gioni was there to take my jacket, silently nodding his head in greeting.

"Where is she?" I demanded an answer with my harsh tone.

"Outside, sir."

I bit my lip as I walked through the house, letting my footsteps echo off of the walls. My heart thundered in my chest when I neared the back porch. The large, glass French doors were open, letting the warm breeze flow. It blew the drapes in a rhythmic motion that was oddly soothing.

Selena was in one of the comfortable outdoor couches, the fire pit in front of her raging with the flames lapping at the night air. Both dogs had accompanied her. Francis was curled up to her side, making soft puttering noises as he slept. Bosco's head was nestled on her lap, providing her with more comfort than I probably could at this point. A bottle of white wine was on the table near the couch, more than halfway emptied. She held a large glass in her hand.

She didn't turn when my shoes clicked on the pavement, but I knew she had heard me. The dogs both raised their heads, though they didn't move.

"Selena?" I called to her softly. She didn't answer. "Selena, please…"

Her face was stained with tears that had since dried, but it still hurt me like hell to see the red of her cheeks and the purple under her eyes. Seeing my wife cry was one of the worst pains in the world. Selena in any kind of distress was almost too much for me to bear. I hated it, and even more, I hated that this time, I had been the cause of it.

"May I sit?" I asked, my voice tentative like I was walking on glass.

"If you want." She took a sip of her wine and sniffled.

I kept to the far side of the couch, pushing myself away from Selena at all costs. I wanted to comfort her, wrap her in my arms and tell her that I was sorry, because I was. She was the only person in the world I could apologize to without feeling shamed or embarrassed, and even now, the words wouldn't come. An apology didn't seem to be good enough to right the wrong I had made her witness.

Selena didn't raise her head to look at me, but all I wanted to see was her eyes. They would tell me how much pain she was in. She ran her hand through Bosco's thick fur behind his ears. He purred at the contact, and I detested him for being so close to her and enjoying her touch.

"Selena, I never meant for you to see me like that," I began. "It was never my intention to scare you. I just wasn't thinking."

She nodded. "I understand."

That was all I got. Her tone wasn't clipped or angry. I expected more, something, anything. I needed to be yelled at and scolded like the criminal I was. Yet, she gave me nothing. It made me feel even worse.

"I told you I was a monster," I whispered. "On our first date, I warned you. I've hid it well these past years, but I slipped up tonight. I didn't want you to see that side of me."

"This isn't the first time I've seen you kill a man, Justin." She sniffled again.

"But it was always in protection. I never offensively killed anyone in front of you, and never as violently as I did just now. I am sorry for exposing you to that. I'm a monster, a sinner, " I repeated.

She didn't deny it, though I didn't expect her to.

We sat for a long while in silence, watching the cool winds whip around the trees of our expansive backyard. At some times, I think we lived on a military base with the high fences and guards and security measures. None of it made for peace and quiet, like we needed tonight.

"If you're a monster then what does that say about me?" she asked quietly. "I married you. I had children with you. Does that make me a sinner too?"

"No, Selena." I inched closer to her, but still kept some distance between us. "Don't ever say that. You're the only truly innocent part of my life. You and the kids, of course. I carry the weight of all my bad deeds. Please, don't think that way. I should have never dragged you into any of this."

She gargled out a laugh. "It's a little too late for that, Justin."

I pulled my hands through my hair, disturbing it further than it already was. I wanted to look at her before, but now I couldn't. I didn't feel worthy. I hated to feel like this because it wasn't in my nature to be so self-deprecating or regretful.

"I understand if you hate me." I shook my head in disgust.

"I don't hate you, Justin. I don't think I ever could and that's what scares me." I felt her body come closer. Feeling compressed, Bosco jumped down from the couch leaving us with little room between us.

"Scares you?"

"You don't understand how immensely you have me wrapped around your finger, and it terrifies me sometimes. I should be running for the hills, calling the police, turning you in but… that all seems wrong to me. I watched you kill a man, and I'm sitting here drinking wine like it's some garden party. What does that say about me?"

"Why are you so fucking pure?" I jumped up, suddenly angry. My voice raised several decibels. "You are the good one! Stop this nonsense."

She didn't shy away from my rage. "I know what you do is wrong, but I can't walk away. I've convinced myself that it doesn't matter."

"I've made you this way." I wanted to get on my knees and beg her for forgiveness. This wasn't right. "How could you love me after what you just saw me do?" I questioned.

"It's a sickness, Justin, and I wouldn't want it healed even I could. It's always been that way." Tears feel from her eyes and I sat down, wiping them away from my fingers. "I'm scared for myself. Charlie was right. I've changed so much and I don't think I would ever want to go back because that means I couldn't be with you. I know that sounds pathetic, but I don't care."

"No, Selena. No. You didn't have to change for me." I was trying to find a way to take this burden. "I'm so sorry."

"I even told you to kill Vienna and I felt nothing over it. I'm so screwed up in the head."

"That had nothing to do with you. You were protecting your family. It was the right thing to do."

"Really? Because it makes me a little sick thinking that I could do something so terrible."

"I gave the order Selena. It wasn't your fault."

This was when I realized that this wasn't about tonight's free kill. It was a pebble in Selena's mind compared to the boulder that rested inside her. Selena was cracking before my eyes, years of pent up emotions spilling forth in a torrent of confusion. She hated me. She loved me. She wanted and needed me, but didn't know how to accept me. She was wholesome and I was not. Our kind shouldn't mix, and yet they did. It was against nature, but I fought it for all those years, convincing myself that it would be fine.

I couldn't take any more of it and understood that I was useless at comforting her through this, so I called the only person in the world I knew who could.

"Justin, what happened?" Esme bounced up the stairs to greet me at the door. "Is everything alright? Is it the babies?"

"No, it's Selena." I bowed my head. "I don't know what to do. She saw something tonight that she shouldn't have and I think I've scared her into some kind of shock."

She pulled off her coat and handed it to me. "Where is she?"

"Out back." I pointed.

Esme took off, her feet making soft noises in the foyer.

I left them alone for half an hour. I didn't know how they felt about each other on a superficial level, but I knew that my mother loved Selena like her own daughter. She and Carlisle had been back for three months now, and we hadn't exchanged more than ten words. It was breaking our family apart, and as much as I hated my father, I realized that I needed to make a change. Maybe I could start with Esme.

After calming myself down, I went out to them.

Selena was wrapped in a blanket, her face still covered in tears. Esme was so loving with her touches, caring for her wounded child.

I sat as far away as I could, in a chair across the porch behind them, but still in hearing distance. I don't think they noticed me.

"You were so young and it's hard, I understand that." Esme patted Selena's back. "It's difficult to wrap your mind around things like this at eighteen. Even now, you're too young to be dealing with the things that you do."

"I try to stay strong. You did. Rose and Alice do. But watching him… like that, but still loving him…"

"Justin was wrong, not you. You should never have seen him in that way."

"I'm a cop's daughter and I sleep next to a man who kills people." She wiped her face. "And I'm okay with it. That's what confuses me."

"Would you ever leave him?" Esme asked seriously.

Selena raised her head, offended. "What? Of course not!"

I sent up a soundless prayer of thanks to whatever God was keeping her here.

"You're loyal and you care for him beyond belief. That's why you're still here, Selena. Our men do what they do out of tradition, honor, pride. But we stay because of love. It makes us powerless and powerful at the same time. I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't have to. I understand completely."

"That's why I never left Carlisle. I was so mad at him after I found out Justin was alive, unbelievably mad. I didn't speak to him for weeks, but I realized that leaving would do so much damage to both of us. We went away because we had to in order to save our marriage. We traveled and got to know each other again. It had been too long."

"I don't blame you for leaving when you did."

"Even after all these years, I love him to a point that I shouldn't. It's not healthy. That's what I think you're starting to understand."

"I must sound like such a wimp."

"No, Selena. I was surprised you even stayed around after you learned about us. And when you did, I knew you were the one for him."

Selena nodded, seemingly better.

Esme continued, "The love was already there, you just needed the acceptance. We convince ourselves that our husbands do good deeds when they really don't. Stop trying to trick your brain because I can tell you right now it will never work. Justin is a bad man who does bad things, but at home, with you and those babies, he's the sweetest, most caring person alive."

"You're right," Selena choked out.

"I know you've seen The Godfather, everyone has." My mother chuckled, "People think that we live our lives like that movie, but we really don't. It's not a movie. This is very, very real and I'm sorry you are hurting because of it."

"I guess I just wasn't prepared."

"Did he tell you exactly why he killed that man? Sometimes if helps if you understand the reason." Esme explained.

"Something about a hit list. Justin's…ambitious, as you know. He's getting rid of everyone who poses any kind of threat."

"He gets that from Nicola."

"He's being so irresponsible. How long does he think he can keep this up before it's his ass on the curb? What does he expect me to do then?"

"Tonight was his fault. He should have never mixed his two sides. But this wasn't the first time and it won't be the last. There will be unspeakable acts of violence that your husband will commit, and you have to know that he would never be that way with you. It's what's required of him."

"He calls himself a monster."

"They all do. But you need to support him and care for him, because he won't get it anywhere else. Justin didn't choose you so much as he needed you in his life. You calm him and make him a better person. You might not be able to see it, but I can. All my boys are stronger because of the women in their lives. It's what we do."

Selena let out a long exhale, still not noticing me behind them. She was processing all this information without a pained expression ever crossing her face.

"And… I'm sorry." Esme dropped her head.

"You're sorry?"

"For what I said to you at Nicola's funeral. I'm so incredibly sorry. I know you hate me for it but... in the heat of the moment, I was overwhelmed and shocked. You never deserved to lose that baby."

"I forgave you a long time ago, but it still hurt."

"I know it did and you don't know how many sleepless nights I endured, trying to think of a way to apologize. After being back here for all these months, I realize that I'm not half the woman you are."

"Esme, you're being ridiculous."

"No, Selena, I'm not. I thought I was a good mother, and I pride myself on having raised my boys well, but everything I've done, you've done it ten times better. This life was thrust upon you so quickly. I was born into it; it's different. You had to adapt and lead this family in my absences. Carlisle and I are so proud of you and Justin. Even if you two hate us."

"We don't hate you."

"It's okay." Esme patted Selena's knee. "I would hate me too. I abandoned my family when they needed me most, but you kept them going."

"No," she protested.

"You know what I did when we got back? I asked Alec if he wanted to live with us again." Esme's lips went up slightly into a smile. "I could tell he would say no, but I had to ask. We might have adopted him, but he thinks of you and Justin as his parents. You raised him, not me. You're an amazing mother, and an amazing wife. Our family owes so much to you because you keep Justin going."

Selena didn't reply. She knew it was true. I knew it was true. All of Chicago knew it was true. I would be nothing without that woman.

"I used to be the queen of this city, but not anymore. I'm okay with that because I've passed the crown to a wonderful person." Esme hugged Selena so tightly, I thought her eyes might pop out. Selena immediately clung to my mother, holding her close.

"Thank you," she whispered.

It was so quiet outside, that the cry of a baby from upstairs reached our ears without a problem. My first reaction was to jump up and attend to my children, but I didn't want to move from my spot. I didn't want to leave Selena.

Selena pulled away. "You still haven't seen them yet, have you?"

Esme shook her head, embarrassed. "Justin doesn't want us to. I understand."

"Would you like to now?"

I think Esme might have exploded if she could. "Really?"

Selena nodded, her eyes finding mine. "Yeah, I'm sure they would want to finally meet you."

Esme gasped in short breaths before getting up and turning to walk back into the house. When she spotted me, her face fell. She whispered to me. "Justin get your shit together. It's causing your wife pain and I won't have it. Do you understand me?"

I chuckled lowly. Even after all these months away, she was still my mother. "Yes, ma'am."

She hugged me fiercely. "We'll talk later, but thank you for calling me. It means the world."

"Go up and see the babies." I rubbed her back.

Esme nearly shot out of sight.

It took me a minute or so to get up the courage to move closer to Selena. I hesitantly sat next to her. She smiled and melted into my arms, her head resting against my chest. I nearly drowned my nose in her hair, trying to savor our closeness.

"You're not a monster," she said adamantly. "You're my husband."

"I'm both and I'm sorry for it." I kissed her forehead. "But I love you. Beyond all the blood and anger that I have for the world, I love you. Don't doubt it."

"I never have." She cuddled closer to me.

We spent the night on the porch, wrapped in the blanket while the fire kept going strong.

A week later, I was sitting in a dark corner of a Thai restaurant, trying not to gag on the atrocious and offensive smells coming from the table next to me. I hated Thai food, but this was one of Carlisle's favorite places, so I conceded. It was as much of an olive branch as he was getting at the moment.

I took large gulps of my water, swishing it around in my mouth and tapped my fingers on the table. I stupidly arrived half an hour early and didn't have anything else to do, but wait. It was torture because it left me with time to go over my main speeches that I had planned for this meeting.

With the reconciliation of Esme and Selena, I felt it was time to have a manly talk with my father. It had been too long, and if they could do it then so could I, even if that forced me to be the more mature of us. That being said, if Carlisle crossed me, I wouldn't hesitate to lay down the law. He wasn't in charge anymore, and this was my city now. He needed to understand that.

He strode across the room, smartly dressed in one of his better suits and actually greeted me with a smile. I stood and buttoned my jacket. I hated to admit it, but even though I was a man in my own right, Carlisle was the man. The fucking clouds parted for him, and he had a level of control that came with time.

We shook hands before he pulled me into an unsuspecting hug. "Justin, my boy."

Either he was purposefully oblivious of the tension in our family, or he was choosing not to acknowledge it.

"Dad, it's nice to see you as well," I ground out, trying not to be repulsed by his hands on me.

"Sit, sit. We have a lot to talk about." He unbuttoned his coat and took a seat. I did the same. "This is the first time in a long time that we've been in the same room. Last I saw you, you were kicking me off of your front step."

"Yes, well, that was under different circumstances." I suddenly felt oppressed and suffocated in this little restaurant. "Let's start with you. Where exactly have you been?"

"Everywhere," he sighed. "You mother and I, as you could have probably guessed, needed a lot of work after everything was revealed. We went on spiritual trips in Tibet and China, volunteer excursions in Israel, and a rather odd archeological dig in Venezuela. It was a lot, but we spent every day together. It saved our marriage."

"I've never seen you so… animated." I looked him up and down. He was changed.

"I can't explain it. I feel so weightless these days. I have a lot to look forward to in retirement that I didn't even consider possibilities before."

"Yeah, that happens when you leave your son to do your dirty work."

Carlisle nodded. "You're angry with me."

"Is that a question?"

"No, it was a declarative statement."

"Hell yes, I'm mad at you!"

"Justin, watch your tone," he said seriously. "I never meant to leave you in a lurch. I thought you could handle things. I set everything up so that there would be as little problems as possible."

"It's not even that you left. I was expecting that, but to not leave any contact information? That's what pissed me off. Do you know how often I wanted to call you and just pick your brain? I made a mess of things for a while because of my stupidity…"

He interrupted me, "Oh, I know. Justin, why did you think I left you behind with no way of contacting me? Because it made you a better man; that's why. A better leader. If I was on your ass every five minutes, you would have ruled this city like I did. That's not what our family needed. You needed to make your mark."

Damn him for always being right.

"That doesn't make me feel any better." I rolled my eyes.

"It wasn't meant to. I never meant to leave to make you feel bad. Emmett could contact me if need be. If things ever got too bad. But you handled yourself well. I'm very proud of you."

"Well… thank you," I said strangely.

"And I am sorry for any troubles I caused." He really did seem regretful.

We stayed silent for a few minutes.

"I know you're still mad at me, but I am your father and I miss my family," Carlisle sighed. "Can you forgive me?"

"No," I snapped, "I don't forgive easily."

"Your grandfather taught you that."

"Fortunately for you, my wife is far more accommodating."

"Thank God or you wouldn't be here," he shot back. "Selena is one of the most courageous women I know and to put up with our shit… She's strong."

"That she is."

"I heard you had an incident last week. How is that going?"

"It's none of your concern." I shut him down once again.

Selena had bounced back extremely well. I had shown her a side of me that was too frightening, but she was handling it in her own way. She was hesitant, of course, although she hid it well. Selena was built for this life and told me as such. She just said it was shocking for her to see me in that way. I couldn't blame her.

"I understand," my father said. "It will take time to rebuild our relationship, but I'm glad we're meeting. That's the first step. A monk in Mongolia told me…"

I tuned him out because I was in no mode to hear his philosophical teachings of wisdom. I was over it for the night. We didn't discuss "the book" because he already knew how I felt about it. The thing was obscene and supposedly a history of our family. Anyone could read our dirty secrets and pick us apart. What if they made it into a movie? No one would be able to stomach that shit on screen. That thing would never be published as long as I was alive and Carlisle wouldn't dare try.

Awhile later, we moved onto more pressing matters.

"I see you haven't appointed a Consigliore." Carlisle said casually, even though his statement was anything but.

Consigliore: my right hand man, confidante, main advisor…

"I didn't think one was necessary."

"Oh? You plan on running our entire mafia operations by yourself?" He chuckled to himself.

"I have brothers. It's different if I was alone. They help out more than any one person could."

"Yes, but they need a chain of command."

"Maybe that's how you ran things, but I don't."

"But you should." He leaned in, "I'm trying to help, Justin. Please don't shut me out right now. I want you to succeed and you need help."

I thought for a long minute. He was right, but this was a decision I couldn't afford to make a wrong move with.

"I could…talk to Alec about it." I said quietly.

"I thought you would say that." Carlisle replied, not giving me any of his opinions or views.

Surprisingly, I found that I wanted to hear them.

Half an hour later, I wrapped up dinner. I couldn't take much more. My father paid and I stood outside, smoking, waiting for my car to be brought around by a valet.

"Justin, what are you up to tonight?" Carlisle asked me.

"Just some family business."

"Really?" His interest was piqued.

I bit my tongue for a second, choosing my words carefully. "It's a… planned execution, type thing."

"Sounds wonderful. Mind if I tag along?"

I suppressed my groan, but didn't answer. I really just wanted to get away from him right now. Too much Carlisle in such a short amount of time was not healthy.

"Come on," he nudged my shoulder, "give your old dad some fun."

"Fine," I growled.

Someone brought my Mercedes around, and I dropped a tip into his hand as he held the door open for me. I sunk into the seat, Carlisle getting in as well. I took off, faster than usual, but I had places to be.

"Justin, why are you speeding?" My father asked as I took sharp turns and evaded traffic. "Goodness, I know I taught you better than this."

"I've always driven this way. I like speed."

"Well, slow down. You're going to hurt someone."

"You can't tell me how to drive." I got defensive. "I'm a thirty year old man. I can drive how I want."

"This is ridiculous." Carlisle's face blanched. I was getting an odd sense of satisfaction watching him squirm. He was never one for fast cars. He was always more into just looking at them.

"Just sit back and stop worrying." I pushed the vehicle faster.

We reached our destination quickly, and I let up on the pedal as I reached the gates of a regular storage facility. It had rows upon rows of storage units that people could rent out to dump their stuff. It was all forgotten over the years, but as long as the monthly bill was paid, no questions were asked.

I put in the simple six digit code—my birthday—to enter the gates and drove quietly through the deserted alleyways.

"So, what exactly are we doing here?" Carlisle asked me.

"I have someone that needs to be disposed of," I answered simply.

"This wouldn't have anything to do with that hit list I keep hearing about, would it?"

"Who told you?" I swerved slightly.

"Alec."

"Of course," I grumbled.

"I think the idea is wonderful, if not overzealous and completely obsessive, but it should work well for you. You're insane enough to actually take everyone out before they catch you."

"I'm almost done. Just a few more names to go."

"You've always been extraordinarily gifted when it comes to this kind of thing."

I stopped in front of one of the smaller units. It was at the end of a row on the corner and pretty much the most secluded one I could rent. I shut the car off and got out with Carlisle following me to the door. The lock was simple and easily breakable, but if anyone wanted to rob me, they would be in for quite a shock once they opened it up.

The lock fell from the latch, and I lifted the door above my head.

There wasn't a light in the container, but the moon was bright enough to see inside.

The smell hit me first. It was putrid and rancid, all wrapped in a reek of overbearing filth. A man with pale skin and shaggy dark hair was resting in a wooden chair. Silver duct tape covered his mouth and his body was sunken in, the wasteful product of malnutrition and dehydration. He was naked and sitting in his own stench. I think this was day thirty of his imprisonment.

"Well, well, a Mangicavalo." Carlisle walked closer. "Impressive."

"The youngest son, Adriano. The father and oldest two are already dead. Everyone thinks they went back to Italy."

The man tried to raise his head, but didn't have enough strength to hold it up. His eyes were red, puffy, and jaundiced. He looked rather disgusting.

"He needs to be gone tonight." I shut the door behind me, enveloping us in darkness. The smell intensified. I took a handkerchief from my pocket, covering my mouth and nose, trying to dilute the odor a little.

I used the light from my cellphone to illuminate the area.

Carlisle was staring at him, inspecting his face and smirking superiorly. "I like this one. He's feisty."

"He's exhausted. He wants to die." I kicked the chair over. Adriano fell to the floor, his hands and feet bound, sloshing around in his own filth.

I withdrew my gun, prepared to kill, but Carlisle stopped me. "May I?"

"Oh, sure." I hesitantly pulled away. "If you'd like."

Withdrawing an even bigger gun, Carlisle hunched low over his victim.

It had been awhile since I'd seen my father in action and a familiar, cold tingle ran over my body. This man could make you bow with just one look. It was such a contrast, seeing him like this, compared to an hour ago when we were discussing the weather over grilled chicken eggrolls and spicy shrimp soup. He could turn his ruthlessness on and off like a light switch; a talent I had yet to master.

Carlisle ripped the tape from Adriano's mouth, taking along with it flakes of dried skin and blood. The area around his lips was raw with redness and irritation. Adriano was fed once every other day and kept in this storage unit for a month, for no other reason than for me to gain some sick pleasure from extracting every ounce of humanity left from him.

He writhed and yelled obscenities to the high heavens, begging for someone to hear him, pleading for a savior.

Carlisle shoved the barrel of his High Standard 22LR pistol sound suppressor deep into Adriano's mouth. He gaged and choked, but Carlisle pushed deeper, effectively gagging the man.

His kill was silent and excruciatingly gory. The shot was muffled and sounded like a soft thump into a pillow, but the bloody scene was far from relaxing. The back half of Adriano's head shot off and left a giant cavity. Brain matter, blood, muscle tissue and bone flew in different directions, coating the walls like a sadistic Jackson Pollack painting. It was oddly… beautiful.

I admired my father's handiwork as I swept my cellphone across the scene, letting the light travel into every nook and cranny.

"Simple and easy, like it was back in my day." Carlisle stood up, wiping his hands on his pants.

And that was that. Another member of my hit list down for the count.

The dogs followed me as I bound up the stairs, their clawed feet making noises on the hardwood as they raced me. I began pulling off bloody and soiled clothes as I went further down the hall, but I stayed quiet since the house was dark and silent.

The lights in my room were off, so I crept to the bathroom and jumped into a hot shower, cleansing my body from the filthy killing of the night. The scalding water beat on my skin and turned my flesh red. The steam enveloped the bathroom, almost suffocating me, but I welcomed it.

I got out of the shower and dried off minimally, shaking the water from my hair was I walked back into the room. I pulled on boxers and nothing else.

Selena was softly sleeping in bed, and the moon, which once brightened such a graphic, horrible scene earlier in the night, shone on her. I couldn't think of a better vision to come home to.

Selena liked to sleep in slouchy clothes; things of mine that she could move around in, but tonight, I was treated to something different. She was in some kind of black, lace lingerie. She was lying face down, the sheets of the bed wrapped around her legs, and since it was a rather warm night, she didn't find the need for a blanket, thank God.

The panties were sheer and skimpy, covering just enough of her perfect ass to entice, but still keep me guessing. The top was tight, fitted and lacey as well. It had straps that were falling from her shoulders, and a sliver of skin around her midriff was driving me insane.

I bit on my knuckles to quiet my lascivious and wanton noises.

I started at her calves, kissing and savoring each inch of silken flesh. She stirred slightly and moaned my name.

"Is that you?" she asked.

"No, it's some other man, sneaking into your bed at night." I continued up higher, to her thighs.

"Oh, well don't tell my husband." She giggled as my breath created gooseflesh on her body. "He can be an animal when he's jealous."

I growled.

Since the pregnancy, Selena had naturally gained some weight. I had convinced her not to lose it all, even though she was determined to get back to normal. She was naturally skinny and probably always would be, but she carried the few extra pounds nicely. I liked it a lot better that way. She was firm in all the right places and voluptuous in others. So tantalizing.

"I was waiting up for you. Sorry I fell asleep." Selena came alive, but didn't turn over. Pressing herself deeper into our mattress.

"This is such a nice surprise." I reached her ass, biting softly.

"I take it you like the clothes I bought today." Selena gasped with surprise as I smacked her cheek, causing a red mark.

"Why do you wear such things? You know I'm just going to rip them away from your body. They are a waste of money."

"Completely pointless?"

"I didn't say that."

"I thought it might be nice for a change."

"To tempt me further into wanting you? I thought it was impossible, but you keep surprising me."

"Maybe," she sighed, rolling over and opening her legs so that my head fit between them.

I kissed her inner thighs. My feather-light tough, making her wriggle and fidget above me. She bit her lip, running her hands through my wet hair and tugging, pulling me higher until I reached her lace covered center.

"You smell… so good," I rumbled through my chest.

This had the making of such a great night, but unfortunately, the babies had other plans.

"Damn," I nearly cried my own tears when I heard the wail from down the hall.

"One of them probably just needs a change." Selena sat up quickly.

The mood had passed, and I watched her jump out of bed, the lingerie forgotten as she put on a damned robe before running out of the room.

That night, after the babies had been settled, our lovemaking was slow and tender. I worshiped Selena's body until I had no more to give. When we were done, she tried to put on a shirt, but I wouldn't allow it. I pulled her close to my body, feeling her naked skin against mine, and let her sleep against me.

I couldn't shut my eyes and decided to forgo resting. I didn't even try. My brain just didn't want to shut down.

Sometime around four in the morning, I rolled out of bed, disentangling myself from Selena, and paced around the room for a bit. I was antsy, and for no particular reason other than the fact that I needed to move around. I didn't feel settled. I decided to do something productive.

I pulled the double doors of our closet open and looked around, thinking about re-organizing my ties. This was a process that would take me at least a couple of hours since I had so many. Once I was inside, though, I was shocked. It had been too long since I actually looked at our closet.

"This place is a mess," I said to myself.

I began with my half of the closet, pulling everything off of the racks, shelves, and hangers. I refolded hundreds of undershirts and re-balled socks, dress and casual, alike. I spent an hour polishing my shoes with an old rag. That took up the bulk of my time since my shoe collection was…extensive, to say the least.

I redid all the drawers, switching certain sections around. I had never liked my workout clothes in the bottom drawers, but Katy Nana insisted on it. I finally placed them on a top shelf where I could see them better. I then moved on to my suits, which I packaged up to be sent away for dry cleaning. All of them.

Most of the brands were Armani and Calvin Klein, the makings of a well-dressed man. I had tried out different things at some point, but didn't particularly like the fit or the colors or the fabrics. It was best to stick with what I knew.

Once I was done, sometime around seven, my side of the closet was spotless. I was very impressed with my work until I turned around and my face fell as I looked at Selena's mishap of clothes.

I nodded in determination as I got back to work.

By this time, the dogs were up and lying on the floor to watch me. It was a wonder what one week in dog training could do; Bosco actually listened to me when I told him to sit in the corner while I rearranged Selena's shoes. He wanted to bite the hell out of them. I could tell. But he stayed restrained.

Selena had more clothes than I did. I don't know how that happened, but her shelves were overflowing. The problem was that Selena didn't believe in organizing. She would hang things up wherever she was at the moment. I had to fix that. I pulled everything down, replacing it as I saw fit. She had hundreds of dresses that I sorted by color. I moved onto her shoes, categorized by heel height, and then alphabetically.

Armani, Burberry, Chanel, Christian Louboutin, Dona Karen, Jimmy Choo…

She had flats, boots, sneakers, and sandals, which I kept on the bottom rack of the closet. It always amused me when Selena wore anything with a heel. Not only was she so damned sexy in them, but she stayed upright, which was something I would have never seen five years ago.

Then came the handbags and purses, once again, done alphabetically.

Alexander McQueen, Bottega Veneta, Diane Von Furstenburg, Fendi, Gucci, Hermes…

I chuckled to myself, just thinking about exactly how much I had spent on her wardrobe in the past year or so. I probably didn't want to know.

I was on my hands and knees, going through her sleeping wear when I came across a simple blue and red plaid shirt. I held it in my hands, feeling the scratchy fabric. I remembered this shirt.

When I first met Selena, she used to always dress in plaid, a product of her Northwestern upbringing. They would always be too big on her, but she didn't care. It was endearing and confusing at the same time. Back then, I didn't understand it. Why would I ever be attracted to a girl who thought that plaid was a fashion statement? But Selena was different. Her fabric was abrasive, mine was soft. She had clothing that was outdated since 1980, mine was overly fashionable. She was plaid; I was silk. We should have never mixed, and somehow we did. But even then, I knew she was "the one". I couldn't help myself.

These thoughts seemed redundant to me since they had been rolling through my head since last week. I had tried to warn her to stay away, but she latched onto me and promised to never let go. That's why I loved her so much and always would.

"You're starting to sound crazy." I shook my head.

I stood up and decided to keep the plaid for myself. I neatly folded it and placed the shirt in one of my drawers, secretly hidden under a stack of freshly pressed light blue underwear.

"Justin, what are you doing?" Selena stumbled into the closet. Her sex hair was so glorious in the morning and she was pulling on the same lingerie that I swore I shredded last night, but somehow survived.

"I'm spring cleaning," I answered, making sure to shut the drawer with her plaid shirt in it. She wasn't getting that back.

Selena looked around, her face filled with confusion. "What happened to all of my clothes?"

"I organized them. Don't you like it?"

"Sure." Her brow furrowed as she ran her hands along her coats and jackets.

"I couldn't sleep, so I decided to get this done while I had the energy," I explained.

The dogs ran to Selena, licking at her legs. She pet them eagerly. "Well, that's good, I guess. I hope you weren't up all night with this."

"No, not at all. It was rather quick, actually."

She tripped over a pile on the floor. "Justin, what are my dresses doing down here." She picked one up.

"That's the stuff I'm throwing out."

"Throwing out?" Her voice went up an octave.

"Yes," I answered with finality. "Those dressed are too short for you. You can't wear that stuff."

"Says who? And they are not too short."

"That thing barely covers your ass," I argued.

"You're exaggerating. I'm not throwing any of them out. I happen to like these dresses. They're for summer BBQs and girl's night out." She started to hastily pick them up.

"Selena, I'm not fighting you on this. Leave them on the floor so Katy Nana came get rid of them."

"You never seemed to have a problem before with my dresses. As I recall, you like my legs."

"Don't patronize me. Your legs are for me. Not everyone else." I wrapped her in my arms.

"They aren't that short, Justin." She sighed. "Can we compromise?"

"No," I said immediately then amended my answer when she glared at me. "Maybe."

We agreed on throwing out all dresses that didn't come to at least three inches above the knee, but I think she tricked me because Selena only had about two of those. I measured. I ground my teeth together as I watched her hang them back up, just thinking about all the filthy men I would have to fight when we walked down the street or when she would visit me at my office.

"I still don't like this." I stood against the opposite wall and crossed my arms.

"You'll be fine." She rose on her toes to kiss me. "Come help me with the babies."

We left the closet, my mind finally free from clothing, and went to the nursery. It had been repainted recently, a six-month birthday gift to the babies. The pastel colors had been covered over with fantastic scenes from Mother Goose stories. I didn't know any of them personally, but they looked kind of calming and playful.

Roman was up and giggling when I picked him up.

"Hey, buddy." I bounced him in my arms. "You look so happy today. What's going on?"

He reached for my face, patting my checks with his chubby hands.

"He recognizes you." Selena lifted up Sophia.

"Of course he does."

As I looked at the picture before me, I never thought I would get to a place like this. I had a wife, two kids, dogs, and a stable life. And to tell you the truth, I wouldn't have it any other way. What the hell happened to me?

I chuckled to myself, kissing the top of Roman's head.

"What's wrong?" Selena asked me.

"Absolutely nothing."

[mcdouglecompany-blog]

Prager University and Andrew Klavan Show Highlights

Prager University and Andrew Klavan Show Highlights

AJ+ Is Al Jazeera

Reconstruction: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

Queering the Bible

There Is No Such Thing as "Your Truth"

PragerU v. YouTube

The Andrew Klavan Show Highlights

  AJ+ Is Al Jazeera

Watch this video at-https://youtu.be/KiJS_VjaNKQ  

PragerU

There’s a social media site whose glitzy videos populate your newsfeed. Its content overflows with typical leftist tropes. No, it’s not CNN or MSNBC. You should know what it is and the nefarious people backing it. Raheem Kassam, author of No Go Zones, explains why, when you come across these videos, you should swipe left.

Script: They are turning social media against us. Using it to influence our elections. Spreading propaganda. Disguising it as news. Pretty scary stuff. I’m not talking about Russia. That’s amateur hour. The media organization I’m talking about operates right here, in the USA. Out in the open. Legally. It has a large staff of on-air personalities, reporters, cameramen and editors. It operates out of state-of-the art studios in Washington DC, London, Rio, and half a dozen other major cities. It produces videos, news reports, and documentaries. It has tens of millions of social media followers. Their content is viewed and shared by countless young people across the western world. In short, they’re targeting us. CNN, right? Wrong. Fox News? Wrong again. The answer is… AJ+. If you’ve spent time on social media, you’ve seen their stuff, I promise you. This is isn’t the work of a scrappy start-up in Silicon Valley. AJ+ is bankrolled by the government of Qatar. Never heard of Qatar? Most people haven’t. It’s a tiny Persian Gulf state with lots of oil money; billions of dollars they’re not afraid to spend on causes they believe in—causes like the terror group Hamas, which runs the Gaza Strip. Without billions from Qatar and its ally, Iran, Hamas would blow away in the next desert sandstorm. But Hamas is only part of Qatar’s terror portfolio. The Qatar government bankrolls the Muslim Brotherhood, Al-Qaeda in Yemen and Syria, radical extremists in Libya, and Hezbollah in Lebanon—in other words, a rogues gallery of murderous Islamist terror groups. Qatar’s propaganda arm is the Arab news service Al Jazeera—which it owns lock, stock and America-hating, Israel-hating, barrels. Al Jazeera made a splashy attempt to break into the US media market in 2013. They bought a cable franchise for $400 million dollars from former Vice President Al Gore. They signed up some major American TV journalists and opened up shop in New York and Washington. But the effort failed. Americans just couldn’t cozy up to the idea that a news network that they had rightly associated with Osama bin Laden could be trusted. But Al Jazeera didn’t disappear. They just re-branded into the much nicer sounding “AJPlus” and they concentrated their efforts on the internet and a market that didn’t have a bin Laden fixation—or much connection to 9/11 at all: young people. And they’ve been amazingly successful. Their productions are well-produced, slick and left. In fact, they are so left that they make videos railing against leftist white women for being insufficiently sympathetic to leftist women of color, especially women of color who are gay or transgendered. It’s hard to ignore the irony that a media operation fully funded by a country that oppresses women and gays makes this kind of content for an American audience. For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/aj-is-a...

Donate today to PragerU! http://l.prageru.com/2eB2p0h To view the script, sources, quiz, and study guides, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/aj-is-a... VISIT PragerU! https://www.prageru.com Join Prager United to get new swag every quarter! http://l.prageru.com/2c9n6ys Join PragerU's text list to have these videos, free merchandise giveaways and breaking announcements sent directly to your phone! https://optin.mobiniti.com/prageru Do you shop on Amazon? Click https://smile.amazon.com and a percentage of every Amazon purchase will be donated to PragerU. Same great products. Same low price. Shopping made meaningful. FOLLOW us! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prageru Twitter: https://twitter.com/prageru Instagram: https://instagram.com/prageru/ PragerU is on Snapchat! JOIN PragerFORCE! For Students: http://l.prageru.com/2aozfkP JOIN our Educators Network! http://l.prageru.com/2aoz2y9

      https://youtu.be/icOFEc5uVts

Reconstruction: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

PragerU

The period immediately following the Civil War (1865 -1877) is known as Reconstruction. Its promising name belies what turned out to be the greatest missed opportunity in American history. Where did we go wrong? And who was responsible? Renowned American history professor Allen Guelzo has the surprising answers in this eye-opening video. This video was made in partnership with the American Battlefield Trust. Learn more about the Reconstruction at Battlefields.org: http://bit.ly/2NzppkE Donate today to PragerU! http://l.prageru.com/2eB2p0h To view the script, sources, quiz, and study guides, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/reconst... VISIT PragerU! https://www.prageru.com Join Prager United to get new swag every quarter! http://l.prageru.com/2c9n6ys Join PragerU's text list to have these videos, free merchandise giveaways and breaking announcements sent directly to your phone! https://optin.mobiniti.com/prageru Do you shop on Amazon? Click https://smile.amazon.com and a percentage of every Amazon purchase will be donated to PragerU. Same great products. Same low price. Shopping made meaningful. FOLLOW us! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prageru Twitter: https://twitter.com/prageru Instagram: https://instagram.com/prageru/ PragerU is on Snapchat! JOIN PragerFORCE! For Students: http://l.prageru.com/2aozfkP JOIN our Educators Network! http://l.prageru.com/2aoz2y9 Script: The American Civil War ended in 1865. And a new conflict immediately began. The North won the first war. The South won the second. To truly understand American history, one needs to understand how this happened, and why. The years immediately following the end of the Civil War—1865 to 1877—are known in American history as “Reconstruction.” What should have been a glorious chapter in America’s story—the full integration of 3.9 million freed slaves—instead became a shameful one. It began with the assassination of Republican president Abraham Lincoln. One week after the Civil War effectively ended, the one man with the political savvy and shrewdness to have guided Reconstruction was gone. His successor was Vice-President Andrew Johnson, a Tennessee Democrat. Johnson was the rare Southern politician who stayed loyal to the Union during the Civil War. Lincoln added him to his reelection ticket in 1864 as a gesture of wartime bi-partisanship. But Johnson was wholly unprepared for the task. Under his Reconstruction plan, the defeated rebels would be allowed to return to power, almost as if they had never left. The only requirement to rejoin the Union was that they agree to ratify the 13th Amendment that abolished slavery. This was fine with the old Southern Democratic ruling class. By agreeing to abolish slavery, they would actually increase their political power. Whereas the Constitution’s old 3/5ths clause limited slave states to counting only 3/5ths of their slaves for the purpose of determining representation in Congress, after the Civil War, the Southern states were able to count 100% of the freed slaves. This would ensure the return to Congress of Southern Democrats, and in even greater numbers than before the rebellion, allowing them—with the help of their Democratic Party allies in the North—to fight Republican efforts to secure the citizenship rights of the former slaves. Johnson’s plan set off three years of bitter political warfare. The Republicans in Congress created their own Congressional Reconstruction plan. Still in the overall majority there, they reorganized ten of the Southern states into military occupation zones, requiring them to write new state constitutions that recognized black civil rights before they could be readmitted to the Union. Over fierce Democratic opposition, the Republicans also managed to pass two new amendments to the Constitution—the 14th and 15th Amendments—guaranteeing due process in law and voting rights in elections. Those rights enabled the former slaves to help elect new state governments, to hold office, and even to send the first black representatives and senators to Congress—all Republicans. Most important, in 1869, with the help of 500,000 votes from newly-enfranchised blacks, a new Republican president, Ulysses S. Grant, took office. Grant was solidly behind the Congressional Reconstruction plan. But a new problem arose: Disgruntled Southern whites organized themselves into ad hoc militias to terrorize Southern blacks and their white Republican supporters into silence. The largest and most famous of these militias went by a still-familiar name: the Ku Klux Klan. For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/reconst...

    https://youtu.be/y-PBaZ2hU4I

In Search of Sanity

PragerU

"Queering the Bible?" Public university partnerships with Planned Parenthood? Segregated graduations? Here are the top 5 most insane instances of indoctrination at colleges today, presented by Isabel Brown! JOIN PragerFORCE! For Students: http://l.prageru.com/2aozfkP

    https://youtu.be/fxcCNtnne3Q

There Is No Such Thing as "Your Truth"

PragerU

What we know for sure is "speaking your truth" would have to be the same as "speaking THE truth," ...so why not just say that? The truth is the truth. Don't qualify it. Can something be true for you and not true for me? Is the truth relative or is the truth fixed? How you answer this question shapes the way you look at the world. Renowned philosophy professor Paul Copan provides an excellent road map through this tricky and vitally important issue.

    https://youtu.be/d6C6_NVj964

PragerU v. YouTube

PragerU

Free speech is in jeopardy. Big Tech behemoths like YouTube, Facebook and Twitter are putting their thumbs on the free speech scale, “restricting” conservative content they don’t like. PragerU is fighting back with a lawsuit against YouTube and its parent company, Google. The real winner (or loser) will be the American public. In this video, Attorney Eric George, who is representing PragerU, lays out our case. Be the jury. Donate today to PragerU! http://l.prageru.com/2eB2p0h To view the script, sources, quiz, and study guides, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/prageru... VISIT PragerU! https://www.prageru.com Join Prager United to get new swag every quarter! http://l.prageru.com/2c9n6ys Join PragerU's text list to have these videos, free merchandise giveaways and breaking announcements sent directly to your phone! https://optin.mobiniti.com/prageru Do you shop on Amazon? Click https://smile.amazon.com and a percentage of every Amazon purchase will be donated to PragerU. Same great products. Same low price. Shopping made meaningful. FOLLOW us! Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/prageru Twitter: https://twitter.com/prageru Instagram: https://instagram.com/prageru/ PragerU is on Snapchat! JOIN PragerFORCE! For Students: http://l.prageru.com/2aozfkP JOIN our Educators Network! http://l.prageru.com/2aoz2y9 Script: The most important lawsuit in America right now—and perhaps the free world—is Prager University v. YouTube. You might consider this a grandiose statement, especially since I’m the lead attorney for PragerU. I assure you, it’s not. That’s because this case is about the most fundamental freedom Americans have: freedom of speech, as enunciated in the First Amendment to the United States Constitution. All our freedoms—the very concept of freedom—springs from this right. Lose it, and we’re no longer free—not as individuals, and not as a nation. I’m not willing to accept that. PragerU doesn’t accept that. And you shouldn’t, either. Okay, so how did we get into this situation? A little background. PragerU is what is called a 501(c)(3)—a non-profit educational media company. It’s known primarily for its five-minute videos. In 2016, viewers began to notice that certain PragerU videos were no longer available. YouTube had placed them on its “restricted” list, which prevents the videos from playing on computers using content filters to screen out violence and pornography. PragerU assumed this was simply a case of “bad algorithms.” But YouTube said no—each “restricted” video had been reviewed by a walking, talking human. The list included such diverse titles as “Are the Police Racist?” by Heather Mac Donald, “Israel’s Legal Founding” by Alan Dershowitz, and even a video on the Ten Commandments by Dennis Prager. YouTube deemed each one unsuitable for young people, treating these videos the same as they would, say, for ones containing pornography or excessive violence. Keep in mind, this is PragerU we’re talking about—as Main Street as you can get! And that, ultimately, turns out to be the issue. PragerU’s center-right content—many of their videos, by the way, have no political theme at all—offends YouTube’s sensibilities. In other words, the videos aren’t being restricted to protect young people from inappropriate content; they’re being restricted to protect young people from ideas YouTube disagrees with. We didn’t want to sue. We tried to reach an accommodation. But when YouTube wouldn’t take the “offending” videos off their restricted list—there are now 100 on that list—we had no other option. YouTube was infringing on our right to free speech. We filed in federal court in late 2017, and thereafter in California state court. Wait a second, you might say—YouTube, which is owned by Google, is a private company. Can’t they do anything they want? The answer is: Yes…and no. Yes, if they are a publisher. No, if they are a public forum. So what’s the difference? This gets right to the nub of the matter. For the complete script, visit https://www.prageru.com/video/prageru...

    The Leftist Blacklist | The Andrew Klavan Show

The Daily Wire

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The first month is 99 cents. After the first month the cost is $7.50 per month. If you can afford to pay for only one podcast, this is the one we recommend. It is the best conservative radio show out there, period. ACU strongly recommends ALL ACU students and alumni subscribe to Pragertopia. Do it today!

 You can listen to Dennis from 9 a.m. to Noon (Pacific) Monday thru Friday, live on the Internet  http://www.dennisprager.com/pages/listen 

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Get PragerU bonus content for free! https://www.prageru.com/bonus-content

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JOIN PragerFORCE! For Students: http://l.prageru.com/2aozfkP

JOIN our Educators Network! http://l.prageru.com/2aoz2y9

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[onestowatch]

Q&A: Kevin Garrett Talks ‘False Hope’ EP, Working With Queen Bey, And More

While Pittsburgh native Kevin Garrett’s discography boils down to a handful of singles and just two EPs--the newly released False Hope and 2015’s Mellow Drama-- his compelling blend of soul, R&B, and electronic melodies ensure that he’s here to stay. 

Now residing in Brooklyn, the 25-year-old has built an impressive resume as an opener for numerous big name artists: James Vincent McMorrow, X Ambassadors, Alessia Cara, and Oh Wonder, to name a few. Garrett infuses swooning piano and ambient electronic production with old soul and R&B vocals to captivate his rapidly growing audience. 

With a Grammy nominated collaboration with Beyoncé under his belt, and cosigns from Katy Perry and Sam Smith, Garrett smashes into 2017 on his practically sold out False Hope headline tour. We chatted with the multi-instrumentalist backstage at his show at the Troubadour in Los Angeles.

OTW: You’re on tour right now for your False Hope EP. How’s it going so far?

Kevin: So far, so good. This is my first real headline tour so it’s a learning experience for me. I’ve been very involved in every aspect of it. I’m super down with the opener A R I Z O N A. When we were prepping for tour, I got a small list [of potential openers] and checked A R I Z O N A out because I heard good things about them. They’re killing it on the internet, so it’s cool to put them on their first tour. Fun fact: in the actual state of Arizona, our date in Scottsdale sold out. We’ve sold out 17 or 18 of the 20 dates. 

OTW: How did you meet the rest of your band?

Kevin: I’ve been working with Sean [Mullins] who plays drums since the beginning of my music career. Brett [Williams], who plays keys, is a new addition to the group. We went to high school together. And Jesse [Bielenberg], who started touring with us when we opened for the X Ambassadors a little over a year ago. It feels really good, like I’m right at home on every stage.

OTW: Was the writing process for the False Hope EP similar to writing the Mellow Drama EP? What was your goal with False Hope?

Kevin: In terms of writing, it was very similar, but on the production end, this one was much more self-contained. I did a little bit of remote work with some producers in London, but other than that it was all kind of done in my bedroom; I’d wake up in the morning and just make music. I’m very proud of being able to create the entire thing.

OTW: I’ve heard that on past tours, you’ve sat at the merchandise table after your set and sold your own merch. How did that evolve?

Kevin: Well first of all, I had to, because I toured completely on my own. It was me driving across the country, in the middle of the night, through the mountains and going to every venue, dealing with everybody myself. At the same time, it was a smart business strategy because more people would come back to say hi and maybe buy some stuff if I was there. So there was a double reason to why I was doing it. But mostly because I just didn’t have anyone else at the time.

OTW: Let’s switch gears to Grammy night. What an incredible honor to attend as a nominee for your part in co-writing “Pray You Catch Me,” the first track on Beyoncé’s Lemonade. Any special moments from the evening that you remember? 

Kevin: I tweeted about Beyoncé’s performance, which was hilarious because it wasn’t a loud scream that I heard, not like you could hear it on TV or anything, but it was just someone in my section screaming, “Not the babies!” when she leaned back in her chair. The tweet went kind of viral for a second. But overall, the Grammy’s were incredible. I’ve never been to them before, so it was cool to go as a nominee. It was motivational; hopefully I’ll come back for my own music soon.

OTW: What’s unique about working with Beyoncé versus working with other artists? 

Kevin: She has an incredible ear for what is artistic. I think it’s showcased in the people she chooses to work with. Everyone around her is on the same page.

OTW: Did you get the chance to meet her?

Kevin: The first time I met her it was at a holiday party. On this tour, I’ve started telling this story more because everyone’s asking, but basically she already knew who I was when someone introduced me to her.

OTW: She already knew your name?

Kevin: Yeah! She was like, “Oh, Kevin! It’s nice to meet you.” This was shortly after I found out we might be working together, so she added, “I love the song, you’re super talented!” And in my head, I was like, “Thank you!” But it didn’t come out that way. I just kind of stammered, “Oh, you as well,” which made no sense.

She’s super down to earth, and it was cool to see someone that far up as just an honest music fan. I’ve noticed the same thing with people like Katy Perry and Sam Smith; some of these people in the industry who you would think are over conditioned, or expect them to be almost robotic--once you get to know them, they’re super genuine about everything. It’s inspiring and motivating in some sense because I want to get that far up one day and don’t want to lose any of my vibe.  

OTW: Speaking of powerful women like Beyoncé, Ones To Watch is interested in your experiences with Alessia Cara. Did your friendship start when you opened for her last year?

Kevin: We actually met on Twitter. We were fans of each other, and she sent me a message while I was on tour with X Ambassadors asking for me to open for her, and I jumped at the chance. This was before her single “Here” hit the radio at #1, and it was just as “Wild Things” was rolling out, so it was a cool moment as her first headline tour. I’m honored to be a part of that because obviously the rest of the year really took off for her, and amazing things happened. She’s incredible.

OTW: I saw that you and Alessia covered Oh Wonder’s song, “Livewire.” How did that come about?

Kevin: We were just on tour and both listening to Oh Wonder at the time. I spoke to her at one of the shows and she was like, “Do you want to do a cover?” and I was like, “Yup, 100%.” It was perfect, we got to Phoenix, Arizona and there was a little piano in the corner of the restaurant part of the venue so we hammered it out. Hopefully she can I do more stuff together, I’m a huge fan.

OTW: Let’s talk about your upcoming tour with Mumford & Sons as their opener. Congratulations!

Kevin: Yeah, that’s a really cool one for me. It’s three dates, and I’m super honored. I’ve gotten to know a couple of the guys from the group and they’ve been super supportive. There’s a date at the KeyBank Pavilion in my hometown in Pittsburgh that I grew up going to shows at. So I’m definitely going to have a little emotional moment talking about sitting on the lawn there.

OTW: What’s different about performing as the main act versus as the supporting act? Are you generating a different kind of energy?

Kevin: The energy [at a show where I’m the main act] kind of turns itself on, because people are excited to see me, which is still strange. I don’t sell merch anymore, but sometimes I’ll come back for pictures to speed things along. The one thing I’ve learned is that when you play last, there’s a lot less time at the end to engage with fans. When I was opening a lot, I’d be at the table for two hours. I like headlining, but I also like opening. There’s a lot less pressure as an opener. It’s two different worlds that I’m continually learning.

OTW: What about playing a festival versus a smaller venue? Do you prepare for a festival--like Bunbury or Firefly, two you have coming up in 2017--any differently than for a smaller setting? 

Kevin: Nothing is going to beat an intimate show. Even if there’s 100,000 people at a festival to see you, and they’re all screaming your lyrics, nothing is going to beat even a silent room where you can hear a pin drop in the back, and they’re just listening to you share some shit. So I would love to come back to a venue like this maybe later this year and do a solo tour, even with just my guitar. I love getting as close to everyone as I can. But on the other side of the coin, festivals are cool because it’s always a different audience, and half the people might not know who you are. They’re very measured out and rarely ever run off schedule, so you know exactly what you’re doing. I think both are beneficial. 

OTW: Now that we’ve talked about who you’re involved with in the present, what about your old school influences? I’ve heard that you’re into Sam Cooke, Willie Nelson, and Billie Holiday, to name a few. Who got you into them?

Kevin: I kind of stumbled on it myself. I was raised on classic rock and classical music because I played violin at a very young age. Once I was old enough to buy my own music, I got into Ray Charles and Sam Cooke. Specifically with Sam Cooke, I knew about him before this, but Taylor Hicks’ American Idol audition was when I discovered his song “Change Is Gonna Come,” which was a breakthrough moment for me. Then I got into Otis Redding; I got into a lot of jazz piano players and jazz singers, like Nat Cole.

OTW: Do they still influence your music today?

Kevin: Yes, vocally Sam Cooke is always going to be something I look back to because he did the same run on every song, but he did it perfectly and differently every time. So that’s something that I really respect. Knowing what your trick is, and knowing how to look at it from every angle and doing it differently every night.

OTW: Any dream collaborations to knock off your bucket list?

Kevin: I’d really like to work with Alessia Cara, and Ed Sheeran would be cool, just to hang out with him. I like hip hop, so I’d love to work with someone like Childish Gambino, especially with what he’s up to now. Also Anderson .Paak is a legend to me, specifically his Breezy Lovejoy days. Frank Ocean would also be really cool. Mentioning these guys, I’m kind of moving into my own sound, but I think that’s the whole reason I want to work with them. I see similarities and I’m inspired by their work. Also, Tori Kelly--I just want to listen to her sing in a room. I’d love to collaborate with a whole bunch of people. If someone calls then I’d probably do it.

OTW: Who are three artists on your “Ones To Watch” list? 

Kevin: I love and hate this question because I always want to put myself on this list. But there’s a kid from El Paso, Texas named Khalid, and he’s about to blow up. Nick Hakim is putting out new music and he’s amazing. He’s got a very alt-R&B vibe, but it’s smart the way he does it. And there are a few UK acts that I really like, specifically a girl named Raye. She has this raspy sort of style about her. And then Sonder is another group to look out for. They’re some friends of mine from the Soulection crew.