#comes back 30 years later with just this SMH LMAO

[444tsumu]

congratulations on 100!!!! i’d like to request for tier 3, what are hanamaki, mattsun, & tsumu like when they’re drunk 🥺💕

▭ WHAT THEY’RE LIKE WHEN THEY’RE DRUNK.

INCLUDES hanamaki, matsukawa, and atsumu.

WARNINGS drinking, mentions of underage drinking, sexual tones, nsfw, explicit language

                     𖥻 HANAMAKI TAKAHIRO !

lmao makki is an idiot drunk

definitely one of those people that attempt to dance

key word is attempt

he’s an absolute embarrassment on the dance floor

he’s still hot though lol

way meaner when he’s drunk

but not mean maliciously

like……flirty mean

will definitely talk to you about how your body should be physically incapable to hold up a head of your size

but then ask if u want some head in the club bathroom like 10 minutes later

like smh makki there’s more to me than my body smh meet me there in ten minutes

prefers light liquor

drunk anthem is itty bitty piggy by nicki lol

he hates to admit it but he’s a lightweight

makes friends with everyone at the bar

definitely offers to buy everyone a shot but doesn’t pay for a single one that isn’t his lmao

thinks oikawa is a pussy for getting blacked out by 3 shots but after 2 he’s already incoherent

doesn’t like to drink a lot bc his brain never remembers shit

“hey makki i can’t believe you stole that street sign last night”

“…..”

“makki???”

(googling if you can go to jail for removing street sign while heavily intoxicated bc technically he didn’t even know he did it so why should he go to jail for it 🤨)

definitely thinks drinking under the legal age is more fun than drinking after 21

doesn’t condone underage drinking though >:(

honestly just a blast in a glass

a drama queen though

turns into a frat boy with issei when the alcohol really gets into his system

will tie his shirt around his head and be one of those guys

still a sweetheart though at the same time

ily makki come kiss me plz

will make sure everyone else is drinking bc go big or go home

it was his idea to get a matching tattoo with issei

cried on mattsun’s shoulder bc he doesn’t want to stop being his friend

mattsun denies it but he definitely cried too

they never speak of it tho smh

                         𖥻 MATSUKAWA ISSEI !

he’s such an asshole lmao

you can barely tell when he’s drunk

but once he opens up that big ass mouth???

nvm lmao

a sexual drunk lol

always wants to fuck

not that he isn’t already dtf 24/7 but esp when the liquor gets into his system

a barb through and through

always pregames because he can’t bare the thought of stepping into a club sober

one of those assholes that wear glasses in the club

he likes both dark and light liquor but hates mixed drinks cause he thinks they’re for pussies

not much of a dancer

more of a “i’m gonna stand here and look hot while you dance on me and make me look good” kinda guy

yk the type

if you throw it back though he will catch it

a slut for rap music when he’s drunk

fav alcohol is 1942 bc hello

when he’s shitfaced?

he turns into a fuckinf frat boy for gods sake

shirt is untucked and half on

makki is by his side eating that shit up right with him

hates yelling but will tell everyone to look at his hot ass s/o

if you aren’t there tho he’ll definitely text you a dick pic in the club bathroom lmfao

“hey pricness g et rwady fr me to rip tkay pusay 2nite haha”

definitely a drunk texter

funny as fuck though

and he’s hot so how could you not say yes to that

passes out once he gets back home though and you have to haul his over six foot ass to bed

doesn’t really throw up but will wear his sunglasses and act hungover for a week

remembers everything surprisingly

he’s the one who actually stole the street sign but blamed it on makki lol

him and makki have matching drunk tattoos on the inside of their bottom lips

makki’s says fuck bitches & issei’s says get money

                              𖥻 ATSUMU MIYA !

listen

a fuckboy off dark liquor and a sweetheart off light liquor

when atsumu gets drunk off light liquor???

he’s a whiny little baby who slurs his words and is very touchy

after like 4 shots he’s calling Samu saying that he loves him with all his heart

(remembers some stuff but coincidently never remembers that 🤨)

will tell random strangers he loves them and will buy random people uber’s home

smh he thinks he has money to blow cause he’s a pro athlete

that results in many drinks for every single girl at the bar

if he has a s/o (that’s where ur beautiful ass comes in)

then he’s yelling at everyone at the club that they could never amount to you

tsumu please stop embarrassing yourself your like 30 years old already

will 100% try to fuck you in the bathroom

tries to make it hot steamy club sex but keeps whispering how he loves you because he’s a pussy lol

dark liquor atsumu is the one that is 100% ready to make you drop on your knees on the dance floor

every single picture of him drunk contains him having his tongue out

god his tongue

i definitely see him as the party animal if the group

his accent sounds even stronger when he’s drunk

it’s hot lmao

will encourage everyone to get as shitfaced as him

definitely one of those people with alcohol courage lol

got into a fight one time bc some guy said he doesn’t like onigiri

after like 3 more shots he cried bc his fist hurt bc of it on the way home

will never tell samu that happened

very protective of his teammates

but once that liquor get in his system he forgets he was supposed to be the most sober one tonight

takes his shirt off once he gets hot

swings it around arrogantly but he’s hot so everyone just deals with it lol

will get a drunk tongue piercing

thinks he regrets it in the morning but is so cocky he leaves it in for a while

[sibillascribbles08]

If you could take creative control of ninjago what would you change

Christ...

WELL

Actually no idk where to start with this there’s so much anon there’S SO M U C H I guess I’ll do a run of MINIMAL changes tho (for as long as I can)

I don’t think I have to change much in the first two seasons, thankfully, since the writers actually sat down to think about what they were writing at the time but g o d did it go to hell afterwards

Season 3 - This Zane focused season is going to be ZANE FOCUSED DAMN IT. We’re focusing on his loss over his Father, having salt rubbed in the wound by having his father’s work turned into an evil army, and being faced with the fact he’s obsolete compared to it all. He keeps trying to stack up numbers to win, recalculate things, and it’s why his line at the ending ACTUALLY has impact. The thing that sets him apart from the nindroids, his ability to love, is what allows him to defeat the Overlord.

Jay, Cole and Nya love triangle is DESTROYED. Pixal, Zane and Cole is the new love triangle and later OT3

Season 4 - The explanation for the other EMs being around is far less stupid. Garmadon establishes that oh yeah all of your parents had elemental powers and even talks about a few of them because holy SHIT. Cole mentions his mom because he should have done that a g e s ago. Is this supposed to be a Kai season doesn’t feel like it. Open the season with better explanations of why the ninja split. Emphasis the fact that Kai blames himself for what happened to Zane, and continues to do so throughout the season. Add that to why he’s so desperate to save Skylor from her dad (not willing to lose someone else). We still lose Garmadon, Kai and Lloyd have a talk at the end of the season. Also ZANE IMMEDIATELY GOES TO GET PIXAL A NEW BODY WTHHH????

Season 5 - Idk this season was pretty good over all I think. A bit better lore established into the cloud kingdom, hints that they don’t actually control fate they just think they do. Explain where the FUCK NIMBUS CAME FROM?? Water can still beat up ghosts but idk feel like there should be some other factors involved, some magic. Kai and Zane figure out they can make water a LOT sooner. Also why doesn’t Kai just set the preeminent’s house armor on fire??? Should have. OH I did forget since this season is supposed to be for NYA GETTING HER WATER ELEMENT how about she actually GO WITH THE NINJA AND DO SOME SHIT SOMETIMES??? I don’t mind her training, specially Ronin helping her but like??? Wtf why not have her ENGAGE, idiots.

Season 6 - I’m the weirdo who actually likes season 6 but that doesn’t mean it’s not without its issues. I don’t mind Jay wondering about where he stands with Nya but his behavior throughout the season has to stay consistent. When he agrees with Nya he needs to let it go he needs to LET IT GO. IT LITERALLY SHOULDN’T BE BROUGHT UP AGAIN UNTIL THE LIGHTHOUSE. He also needs to linger more on his birth father (and besides he should have suspected he’s adopted since season 4 cause he knows neither of his parents had lightning powers). Zane doesn’t ignore Pixal’s warning about Nadakhan but if she’s off somewhere else idk how she gets threatened I’m sure Nadakhan could figure it out. OH and time can still reset and stuff idc but like, Jay and Nya need to talk about it and they need to GO BACK FOR ECHO. EVEN IF THEY DON’T FIND HIM THERE.

Day of the Departed - just wish it was longer tbh, but major changes: Why do the ninja not seem to care that cole is FADING OUT OF EXISTENCE and Lou should be a lot more worried about his son.

Season 7 - I mean, it’s mostly a trash fire, but I think it’d be a lot more enjoyable if they actually had good sibling dynamics going on. Acronix following his brother because he always has, but starts questioning their plans as things go. At first their relationship is much better, which is why they best Kai and Nya, but by the end that flips over. Actually have Kai and Nya having an ISSUE. Kai thinks their parents could have been traitors, Nya seemingly doesn’t care because she’s so wrapped up with her samurai x stuff being stolen. They end up fighting and don’t make up until the boiling sea. ALSO GIVE RAY AND MAYA A BETTER FUCKING EXCUSE FOR BEING GONE THEY COULD HAVE FUCKING SHANKED KRUX WHEN HIS BACK WAS TURNED GET OUT OF HERE HE HAD NO LEVERAGE.

Also Machia isn’t dead okay she’s just in the past she WILL COME BACK

Seasons 8 and 9 I’d say are pretty solid honestly? My minor changes: Garmadon isn’t Garmadon he’s a fucking fake get out of here with that shit THE REAL GARMADON WOULD NEVER. We actually learn where Mr. E came from I don’t even care if it’s just Harumi and UV talking about how they found him in a scrap heap and got him fixed just give me something. Stop treating Dareth like SHIT. Ronin and The Commissioner plan a jail break long before they’re let out in season 9. Teen Wu is a lot less... air headed. Like seriously he seems to have more logic when he’s a child it doesn’t add up. I’m not saying he has to remember everything but wth?? Oh, and Mistaké isn’t dead fuck you.

Season 10 - ............................................ delete it and start over. Literally, hate all of it, get it out of here. Four episodes for villains you built up like FUCK in the last two seasons??? All of them fucking as big as people???????? cowardly, weak, uninspired, I don’t want it I’m just going to have to redo this whole gd season. A) Oni leader is a QUEEN now and she can be up to 30 feet tall no I do not give a FUCK B) Fake ass Garmadon is revealed to be a different oni entirely he was an agent for the queen the whole time but never finished his mission C) She can still paralyze a bunch of people but man Lloyd you’re going to need more than a shiny tornado to fight her off. D) In fact you need to summon your other great grandma so the two of them can get over their divorce spat. E) Where’s the mask of vengeance bring that back into play. F) Mistaké shows back up to help. I suppose plot wise it can?? Mostly run the same but I think they’re going to have to run much farther than the city with how fast she spreads her reach. Also she’s weak for Lloyd because he’s the smol great grandson and he has to use that to his advantage to slow her down. Mistaké makes something that can unparalyze people and they get some of their allies back before the finale thank god. Faith isn’t just in a coma the whole GD time.

Season 11 - Fire half? Good. I need a much better reason why the ninja go to the never realm tho because wow did they just make everyone out of character in that last episode. The ninja have no reason to just ignore Wu and shove him out like that. Wu has no reason to NOT NOTICE LLOYD IS BREAKING INTO HIS ROOM WHEN HE WAS KICKING THE NINJAS ASSES IN THE FIRST EPISODE. Ice half?? ... h Yeah no they should have known Zane was the emperor from the start LMAO. Or at least suspected the possibility. The decades of time passing??? Deleted. Maybe give it a year. Idk why it’s just Lloyd snapping Zane out if why aren’t the other ninja involved like p l e a s e. Also kill Vex with an ice spike, thanks.

Season 12 - Over all I liked what this season had going but there... should have been more. And that ending felt so crunched together like damn... Unagami was a p cool villain at least BUT idk, despite all the focus on the plot so much of it didn’t feel tangible enough. Even if we’re going to focus more on the video game world I want to see more of what these NPCs are up to. Should have tossed in a couple of filler episodes. Also can someone just kill the Mechanic too SMH (and they should have tied Wu up in something sturdier how did he not just break out of that WHATEVER)

Suppose I’ll stop there I haven’t season season 13 yet.

Oh, the timeline itself needs some fucking work too. At least establish Wu and Garmadon’s sudden aging. At least establish how old Zane is (I’d believe he was built 40 years ago but I find it hard to believe he was active for all of it). Establish that yeah the FSM really did basically fuck off like idk 14 years ago and idk why the show acts like it was so long ago it couldn’t have been based on the other facts we know have Wu learn that his dad is a bitch ass motherfucker and he needs to ditch.

Honestly there’s more but like................. this is the simple version

[unproduciblesmackdown]

here’s the matter of fact text post re: i guess i achieved the goal of an intermittent thing i’d do where i’d try to find anyone online talking about the ‘weird’ experience i have with masturbation which is, inherently, not exciting or anything but it’s like, even if i just Know of course it’s not just me, i want to like, hear someone else talk about anything similar ever, b/c so far it’s just a text post i saw once and can’t ever rediscover and someone talking about their experience that stems from an inapplicable physical trauma so....Yay, seeing as it’s been years i’ve been like “seriously though” lmao  

i was like Lol @ myself b/c i was like “man after i try for like 30 sec to crank it it a) doesn’t go anywhere hardly and b) i lose interest Way fast and it’s like mildly annoying” and so i thought about that post that’s like [me after sex: well that was a waste of my goddamn time. anyway back to speedrunning] but that’s me after a halfhearted attempt to masturbate and not really getting anything out of it anyways lmaoo like. it’s okay or i wouldn’t even bother fairly regularly but also it tends to end with like, me going off on a distracted tangent for even a moment and it can just hit an absolute brick wall like okay i don’t even have the Interest in continuing with this anymore like i might’ve had before starting like Well That Was A Waste Of My Goddamn Time Anyway Back To [whatever it is that i do]

and then like either that same night or the next my dreams had the audacity to get deeply uncomfortable for no reason like. all i do is have Anxiety Dream Themes thrown together where like. for example as i write this, two nights ago i had a dream segment about “i’m on vacation at the beach” but it was all Anxiety b/c it’ll all be about how i can hardly visit said beach coz i keep getting sidetracked at the hotel or w/e while i’m Trying to visit it while i still can, and last night i had the same Theme but trying and failing to ride roller coasters (which i Enjoy irl) and like, the beach one in particular recurs not Too infrequently lmao where i’m surprised by the rarity of something like “you’re at the beach and it’s fun” lol.......i don’t have anything i’d call a nightmare too often but Anxiety / a somewhat threatening/worrisome situation is like, fairly constant lol, with some occasionally more neutral stuff and a really rare Fun Dream but anyways it was still Bizarre that my dreams pitched me “you’re Someone who i guess is dating this abstract Partner and the scenario is you feel obligated to have sex with them” and it was weird like, woke up the next day like “why did my brain drag me through this deeply unpleasant dream situation” like. not totally unheard of for my dreams to touch on a Scene ft. sex and/or physical intimacy and even on occasion it’ll be an “i’m (or whoever i am as a maybe semi-abstract First Person camera character lol maybe ft. some particular concept attached to the ‘role’) having some sexual encounter and it’s Fine or enjoyable” but it’s generally fleeting As Per Usual Dream Structure and it’s like why was this one that sucked like, particularly dragged out by those usual dream standard’s, come on

anyways so going “haha i’m living the Waste Of My Goddamn Time thing” and “well thank you to my own brain for a bizarre and unpleasant experience while i’m just trying to be passed tf out” i was like “let’s look up again why not only can i not seem to orgasm but also like even expecting a way lower level of stimulation still Disappoints sometime like why do i bother” and yeah after first going the “does anyone Never manage to Not slam into a brick wall / basically completely lose interest all at once or practically all at once even and it all goes back to zero even if you started at like maybe a 1 or 1.5 and sometimes it happens with going down a random mental track” route i interestingly got some cis guys going “yeah hate when that happens on occasion” but yeah by now i had of course given up on “can i come at this from an [experiencing sensory input and processing from an autistic angle] angle” like. idk still interested in that of course lmao but god is searching for it a bit exhausting. but yeah after i threw in an [-erectile] search modifier i got was like oh a result on a site about asexuality re: masturbation, why didn’t i think of That angle. idk but here we are

informative stuff but the comments section where people who wanted to read an [about: masturbation] on a site About asexuality were talking about their experiences was like. i had mentioned how it was Enlightening that one person said I Do Not Enjoy Orgasms lol like i have not really heard that angle vs “you might not enjoy sexual stimulation” and/or “you might not be able to orgasm” but not you Can orgasm but you Might Not Even Like It Really like. the person said yes they got the Peak Of Intense Pleasure out of the orgasm but not so much any kind of afterglow and felt like they get dropped back to where they were before even trying to masturbate (aka. square zero again lol) and just yeah outright mentioned Not Enjoying it and another person replied like Yep it’s like that for me too.........already i’m like man i don’t even approach anywhere near an orgasm Ever but man would not be surprised if, even if i theoretically was capable of the physical experience, it would be the same as this way lower level Waste Of My Goddamn Time deal lol.......it’s Hilarious too that like. say “being at all in the mood to try to spank it” is a Square/Level 1, i feel like yeah most of the time i’m only getting this shit going to a 1.5, maybe a 2 or 2.5 if we’re on fire......very very very rarely have i been like “hey that was like, a 3 or some shit, damn” and honestly it’s not like oh so that ruled and is motivation to continue b/c like. the Surprise of it throws me off and it’s not necessarily that Great a surprise, more just like, jeez, idk, it feels like A Bit Much that basically registers as Tension where i’m hardly encouraged to keep it up like, makes me wonder if that’s a Sensory Processing Thing aka how sometimes i try to get any more in depth info on the logistics of Experiencing Sexual Stimulation re: also being autistic and the variety of ways that can unfold (i do know that like. the Sensory thing apparently can sure be a factor in either direction, i.e. might cause some ppl to really not enjoy sexual stimulation Or to like, super enjoy it. allistic ppl who might realize “thinking sex is awesome” is “”normal,”” brilliant.....like u didnt also “realize” that stims like fidget cubes and weighted blankets can be enjoyed “”normally”” like. still having a diff experience here and shut it) and i remember one time i was like “c’est la vie i will purchase a vibrator (and i got a second, external one as some deal going on)” and it was just a No Go b/c. it didn’t feel “bad” in that it was not necessarily like, yep here’s some sexual stimulation, but it was like, overwhelming in a Not Good way, yet also not physically painful, and i realize vibrators are made w/ different intensities and i definitely got Mildest ones so it wasn’t that

anyways like yeah #tbt to a time i really gave it a go (vibrator-less) for truly just short of two solid hours......plenty of that was me at Square Zero and getting back to level 1 alone (aka like. feeling Any positive response at all lmao) was kind of an achievement and maybe there was some 1.5 or 2 in there but it wasn’t like i felt that motivated and Just Keeping At It was not necessarily helping so. that was a waste of my goddamn time

can’t really remember what i was doing differently the last time i kicked things up to maybe a solid 2-3 Zone for truly like One Moment lol.....think i was just getting a little more hands on (since usually a spike in intensity makes me go “[?? / !!] whoa :/” and i lose Any momentum and/or “progress”) and that spike in intensity made me go [?? / !!] Whoa :/ and it didn’t matter, just got back to zero as always, and it’s not like these “Achievements” are “Enlightening” where i’m then like wow everyone’s right, really Trying with this shit pays off like lol. i still make a cursory effort but really just to burn off that Level 1-ness if anything like. kinda like “yeah neat here we go” but like. probably literally a minute or two later it’s like well Anyways.......another fun detail is that it’s not Always like “oh i got off on some mental sidetrack and losing focus = losing like All of even this low level of arousal and im back at zero” like, i might be in the middle of things and Lose Interest even while i’m currently experiencing a nonzero level of “yep this is some sexual stimulation” lol but it’s just like smh Whatever @ it......like, on the one hand the Tension of the stimulation gets in its own way, but if i entirely lose that then it’s like well okay this isn’t gonna go anywhere, may as well stop

so anyhow here’s the Particular Comment where i was like “wow this is so similar to #me that i guess i’ve finally found Someone Talking About It* (*however it goes for me)”

i can’t say i’ve done the Holding My Breath thing on Purpose but now sometimes i do notice i do it (and have probably Been doing it) lol like oh there i went and Exhaled in a [was holding my breath] way lol coz like they say there with the Loss Of Any Tension and the Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing like yeah lmao. and very same with the Five Minutes Max thing b/c yeah it really can be even less than One Minute sometimes before it’s like yeah square zero or just i lose enough interest anyways, getting bored like they say, ugh like it’s a brief description obviously lmao but i’m like god well there it is i guess, the [i know it’s not Just Me experiencing this like this but i’d still fucking like to find anyone else actually talking about it] account For Once Finally, thanks for putting it out there, Disappointed and a lil bored

naturally there are also ppl in the comments talking about how masturbation is an enjoyable thing for them and particular tips there but like it is Hilarious to me how a) some people orgasm easily or like. orgasm if they put effort into masturbation lmaooo like fucking imagine. and b) idk it’s like well i’m sure i’ve made hundreds of attempts and not even any Near Misses, it is simply like, not happening and c) yet at the same time Like This Commenter it’s like “well is there just another way of doing it i somehow haven’t hit on” like naturally i have to wonder like well idk maybe it’d be diff with a sexual partner b/c yknow, the same stimulation from Someone Else vs Yourself, and yet d) ha ha of course i haven’t had sex which people Don’t think of as Not A Joke lmao i referred to this fact abt myself with some casual humor to someone and my temper flared up when that was later taken as a Cue for someone who is not me to jokingly reference it (by Temper Flaring i mean i got annoyed enough to go Do Not Do That e.g. the post that’s like “[asserts one boundary] i’m not a people pleaser anymore i’m actually a huge cunt now”) and i probably shouldn’t feel like i have to “justify” this as well somehow other people have probably tried to Make A Move re: me but i have not been into it like well, what if nobody had ever been Interested that i knew of, that would be fine too, but. i am aware that ppl think of this as a joke still lmao, and i have to say that. im already doing letters like a) b) c) aren’t i but whatever, starting over a) well i haven’t had All the opportunity in the world as i have at various points (but basically continuously) for various reasons been pretty isolated and b) idk i have not had all these signs that point to me wanting to have sex with people exactly lmao but it’s like, c) even if i go “well maybe there’s Exceptions out there or Situations That Will Be Conducively Different Than The Limited Range Of Ones I’ve Had So Far” it’s like, okay, i could still just continue to feel “nah :/” re: any “opportunity” that ever presents itself or whatever. it is all very abstract for me anyways, so it’s like, whatever. but i’m also not the most Glad to discuss it b/c idk a lot of this stuff i know is like A Joke including how i’m still simmering with resentment from a year ago or more over some Tweet i saw trying to dunk a meme about how asexuals are Anti-Psychology like, that’s an entire Other Essay there but needless to say for one thing i just pre-resent people hearing “could being autistic factor into the particular experience i have losing interest / arousal so easily (and inevitably as it’s big time primary anorgasmia around here)” and going “aha that makes sense b/c being ace means there’s something Dysfunctional going on cuz Lbr and bieng autistic means being a Fucked Up version of an allistic person and your autistacity is going to fuck up things about you which ought to function properly” like well that feeds right into itself in a loop and i hate it. and i know the whole “hehe someone who hasn’t had sex is a loser” thing is way engrained in there lmao ppl throw that punchline out all the time and like, idk, see the (i’m autistic) thing like it’s not like this is an unprecedented concept or the only front on which im like “i Know this is a thing ppl negatively judge in general but i also Know i do not buy into that or feel bad about it” like i do not personally consider myself cringe and fail for not having had sex ever and do not consider that Premise that someone is a joke for it to be true re: anyone but at the same time i know that this whole Awareness that people are shitty about it is frustrating to me lol. plus i think it is getting into the Entire Thing where concepts as broad as Maturity and Humanity At Its Most Complex And Worthwhile are considered intrinsically linked to romance and sex, which is something that i am somewhat self-conscious of being aromantic and [having never had sex and it could well be that i will not ever have sex even if The Opportunity(tm) is there] and i know it is frustrating to me b/c sometimes when i start to even talk about “i have not had sex yes im aware this is like (spit take) what a nerd, Sure” b/c i will easily cry out of frustration like 5 seconds in lol. which i cry easily enough but Usually getting teared up b/c i feel Hyped Up / Enthusiasm for something lmfao.......anyways plenty of tangents to go down here but my point is shoutout to the other person for also never orgasming and just being bored with masturbation if anything

and also to the people who were like “i can have / have had orgasms but i don’t actually enjoy it” like considering the way that [not like i experience anything even close to an orgasm but there is sometimes An Increase in arousal achieved, either a tiny raise in the Level or on occasion a bit of a kick which is mostly like “whoa tf chill out”] is overall Underwhelming even if there is Any enjoyment in it and the whole Back To Square Zero (Not Even Square One) thing re: the entire lack of afterglow they mention and it’s like well that kinda feels like parallel experiences here lmao. which tbh is like. makes me care even less with like Humorous Annoyance at the fact that ppl are out here simply able to have orgasms and to have access to that just by like yep here i go masturbating lmaooo like okay

anyways idk how to Conclude this lmfao. Fun Fact i have hc’s about how winston billions who is autistic experiences sexual stimulation (he gets the Really Enjoys It kind of sensory processing time here lol) but i suppose the easiest simplest one to explain is the “remember the Tayston Crying Sex drawing, the idea is that things can be kinda overwhelming while still being Good if it’s handled right by his partner (or himself ig lol) and he can tear up as sort of an overflow thing” like well you probably already knew that was connected to the broader whole of Winston Billions Autistic Hc’s but in case you didn’t: it is

[jjpmoans]

50 Questions Tag

Tagged by @prettywordsyouleft and @itsallabigmess bcs these two unnies really love me

1. What takes too much of your time?

Social media (yes that includes tumblr)

2. What makes your day better?

These days, Jinyoung. Lol okay so I am a very talkative one. So yeah, talking to someone will immediately makes me feel less stressful.

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today?

Just now @itsallabigmess made an exception for me to write a GOT7 fic asdfghjkl I FEEL A LITTLE TOO OVER HAPPY

4. What fictional place would you like to go to?

I think almost all my friend would have guess this. Hogwarts. Because the food there seems to be endless and really, I’d love to try eating both drumsticks in my hand and I want to put an incantation to whoever tries to hold me from eating.

5. Are you good at giving advice?

Well, I think I am. Judging from how my whole family turned to me when they wanted to share their problems. Also when I gave advises, I always stresses this one thing “Listen to understand, don’t listen to reply” and that implies to me too. And honestly, I listen too much and sometimes when people just don’t want to change, I feel really annoyed BECAUSE WHAT IS THE POINT YOU WANTED MY ADVISE???? Okay I think I’m good. hahahhahhaha

6. Do you have any mental illness?

Horny 24/7 is that a mental illness? lmao no I’m not that bad but I think I need to get married. NOW.

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis?

Not yet. In my country, people describe sleep paralysis as you got crushed by some spirit (ghost to be exact) and yes it is scary and I hope I would never experience it.

8. What musician inspired you the most?

I’ve been thinking a lot and though I really want to say GOT7, I’d say EXO. Partly because I was there since early times, but also, the amount of success and loyalties they have received are really unbelievable. The secret of EXO’s and BTS’s popularity which leads them to win daesang in every award is their fans. And I really hope ahgase can be like them. I’d be lying if I say our fandom is really hardworking when it comes to award season. I’ve seen my friend bullshitting EXO and BTS bcs whenever any of them is nominated in the same award of GOT7, automatically, GOT7 will lose. And no joke, army and exol are really monsters during award season. And I hope us ahgase can be like that too. I know got7 said they didn’t mind but Jinyoung once said that he want to know how those groups can win daesang easily and he thought got7 need to work harder. smh I’m emo. sorry this got longer than it should. 

9. Have you ever fallen in love?

I do. Hahahahhahaha yes I do. 

10. What’s your dream date?

Well for me, just talking with each other is a date. I love to know small details because when I love someone, I just want to know everything about him. But okay a dream date? Amusement park. Yes you need to know which ride makes me scream like a girl and which makes me scream like a mad woman.

11. What do others notice about you?

I’m very talkative (that really shows lol). And I don’t know how to refuse when someone ask for a help or anything. I always tell myself to treat people the way I want to be treated. 

And they said I’m too nice. Yeah I figured that too hahahahhaa

12. What is an annoying habit you have?

Refuse to listen when I’m angry. I feel annoyed because I know I’m wrong but I’m angry but I don’t want to hurt people. So I’ll say “Sorry, I’m very angry now but I know I’m wrong. Just, I’ll be okay later so we’ll talk later”

13. Do you still talk to your first love?

Yes and no. Our last conversation was he wanted to meet me. But ever since then, no other conversation.

14. How many ex’s do you have?

Can’t relate lol

15. How many songs are in your playlist?

Here’s the thing. I have a lot of playlists. Phone playlist, laptop playlist, joox playlist and youtube playlist. So I don’t know how many of them.

16. What instruments can you play?

Non existent.

17. Who do you have the most pictures of?

My phone? Now? Jinyoung smh this is all Tumblr’s fault lol. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die?

Mecca. I’d like to die there if I can.

19. What is your zodiac?

Virgo. And please, someone, please help me calculate whatever thing it was (sun sign, moon sign and all) I never knew those things and it irks me when I don’t know it hahahahhaaa

20. Do you relate to it?

Well I did some research here, Virgo firstly is a virgin and yes I am. It says that virgo is very supportive of people in their lives and even strangers, that is me. I’m a critical thinker bcs I personally hate when something goes wrong. but lol hardworking, artists and remembers everything? Not even close. I’m a lazy ass, I draw a cow but it turned into a pig and I am hopeless with my memory.

But one Virgo thing about me, yes I am an overthinker hahahahhaa

21. What is happiness to you?

When my family reunited.

22. Are you going through anything right now?

Family problem. Mom just got heart attack, dad married another woman, brother on crisis with mom, sister just stabbed my back, aunt made everything worse. It’s been three months into 2019, every week, another family problem popped up. But we are trying, I tried to fix everything, another role which the smallest child has to take upon responsibility but I’m fine. Just, tiring.

23. What’s the worst decision you’ve ever made?

applied for the wrong scholarship and wasted an opportunity to fly to New Zealand for study.

24. What’s your favourite store?

Food stores. Any of them. ARE MY FAVOURITE ahhahahhaha

25. What’s your opinion on abortion?

Because I’m a muslim, I am against abortion. Here, in my country, abortion is done because it was done out of wedlock and they feel embarrassed. So, it irks me bcs if you can think to have sex, you can’t think that there is possibilities that you can get pregnant? And to kill your child bcs you wanted to cover it, is unacceptable. But again, it is personal choice. 

26. Do you keep a bucket list?

I have a few but not enough to be a bucket. 

27. Do you have a favourite album?

Honestly, if favourite means I have listened to all songs in that album, it’s EXO The War album. 

28. What do you want for your birthday?

A freaking big plushie. I love to hug big plushies. But no one ever wanted to give me that for my birthday. And now, I’ve been searching for a big squirtle plushie or snorlax plushie (yes jackson and jaebum)

29. What are most people’s first impression of you?

okay this one lol they said I look scary and they thought I’d be the grumpy one. Well, if you meet me when I’m hungry, I have the tendency to be one.

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

I don’t know anymore. An aunt asked me “Are you the one who got married?” when it was my sister smh 

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping?

next to my pillow bcs I need to charge it.

32. what word do you say the most?

me? I say “shit” a lot lol

33. What’s the oldest age you would date?

well I would say I definitely date anyone as long as they are not the same age with my dad.

34. What’s the youngest age you would date?

idk I never thought on dating a younger one. But if I do, maybe 4 years younger bcs damn, if I make it 10 years, my date would be 12 when me here is 22.

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you?

something which requires me to talk a lot. 

36. What’s your favourite music genre?

K-Pop.

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be?

South Korea. New Zealand. Anywhere but Malaysia lol.

38. What is your current favourite song?

Say you won’t let go - James Arthur

39. How long have you had this blog for?

I had this blog for a few years. But just becoming active just recently hmm I don’t know the exact date. But I know it started after I interacted with @prettywordsyouleft

40. What are you excited for?

Food. and sponsored vacation

41. Are you a better talker or listener?

A better talker. but also a pretty good listener

42. What is the last productive thing you did?

Last sunday, i climbed a 200m hill to get to the view point. It got me panting like a dying cow.

43. What do you want for Christmas?

While I don’t celebrate Christmas, I welcome gifts. Any gifts would be fine lol (make sure its food)

44. What class do you get the best grades in?

High school? Chemistry. College? Mathematic. Now? Nothing hahahahaha

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now?

5 and exhausted but tomorrow? 10 BECAUSE A JINYOUNG IS COMING

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years?  

10 years I just hope that I am already working and saving money to go on vacations and can sponsor my family on vacations too.

47. When did you first get your heartbreak?

2009 when I discovered that dad has another wife. I was 12 and just got my exam result but dad wasn’t there. He was never present for any of my achievements in school. Turns out he has another child the same age as me and he puts her before me. Since I was born, I was always put second.

2011 when I liked a guy but he hated me awh teenagers. He said I’m too fat and how dare a fat girl like me tries to like him? He was my first love.

48. At what age do you want to get married?

When I am ready. I have a dream wedding, so I would work hard for it to happen.

49. What career did you want to have as a child?

Idk I always change it lol today i’ll say teacher and next day I’ll say ballerina. Yes I spent my whole school life giving different careers when teachers asked me.

50. What do you crave right now?

Food bcs I’m on diet and hell those food porns are getting on my nerves.

Phew it was a good time answering all these questions and it drains my energy lol. So for this, hmm I don’t know who to tag. But i’ll go with this one @sevenpeaches @riceeater22 @tuanyiems @kpopchangedme @kpopstories @starhibiki @ongsung @sehunsmybae (yes I always saw you) and everyone who want to do this! of course, you are not forced to do this

[thebiggest3vil]

STORY TIME! #2: I Got Cheated On And Embarassed In Front Of My Whole School😂😢😂 (*Funny!/ Fucked Up!)

So for this story time I'm gonna tell you about how I got cheated on . It's funny but fucked up at the same time so if you like reading then this is the post for you! So back, relax and read how I got PLAYED 😂.

So the first day of HS starts up and ya know things are different. Ya boy is a Sophmore and after a very weird freshman year of HS I started to find my way. I had more friends , I hit a growth spurt after being 4"11 and under my whole childhood life, I had a summer job so when I came back I was drippin in that Armani Exchange (Remember that store!? Damn) So when I came back my dress game went from like a 3 to a 12 and I don't care if that don't make sense it's my story lmao.

(Ok So where was I....OH Ok sophomore year)

So the day goes by and it's time for Gym. Now everyone knows that the first day of gym ain't really gym it's just niggas sitting on the bleachers and for 30 minutes and MAYBE they bring the basketballs out for the last 15. So I goto the bleachers and I see my mans at the top and I'm like "Yeoooo !!" And he went "Ayo boul!!" And that's how we signalled each other at the time lmao. So we sitting waiting for class to start and a bunch of kids walk in (I'm not paying them no mind) and as they got closer to the top all I hear is my name following "YOOO CUZ IT'S BEEN A GRIP!" I look over and it's my bro from my track team . At this point I'm like hype I got my homie in by gym class followed by my other homie...nigga gym was so tough. So as I dap him up these 2 girls walk behind him. One was kinda cute, Brown skin ass was glorious. The other was a lightskin girl, kinda tall was BAD (at the time) omg and I had my best shirt on nd shit I was fly but I'm not really worried cause all my niggas are in gym with me and when has that....ever happened when ALL your niggas had the same class besides lunch. So we sitting and my bro from track called me over and we started catching up. Out of nowhere the lightskin girl grabs my shoulder and asked what my name was (mind you was staring deep into my eyes like nigga my soul, I was beside myself) I told her my name and I went throughout my day.

So like a cool 2 weeks passed and ppl telling me "yoooo Brittney likes you" (Ima call her Brittney cause it's my story lol) mind you at this point it's been established by the brotherhood rank system aka period 8 lunch who were the baddest in school and everyone was tryna talk to them. They were arguably the 5 baddest in the school and niggas were on their heads. Now my one friend bagged one if them on the spot and the other one was already cuffed, but for them to tell me the most sought out one wanted me!? NI-GGA! I was feeling my self I started wearing shit I didn't usually wear to school (side note: I wore this Armani T shirt with the Black true religion jeans and some polo boots with this Hugo Boss jacket I was fly) Anyway weeks go by and I'm in music class talking to to homies and I tell them like yo....im bout to talk to Brittney....the problem was....

Brittney was the ex of my bro from track! So I'm like damn you my homie I'm not gonna do that to you etc I'm like I'm going to chalk It up, he goes "nah bro you good go head we friends but we broke up years ago" (THIS LOW-KEY WAS A WARNING But my dumb ass wanted a girlfriend so I'm like bet where she at?) Ok ok remember how HUGE MySpace use to be? Remember this.: So fast forward I ask for her number and she didn't have one cause idk but she had a house phone plus she added me on MySpace. So on MySpace that's were I started spitting THAT GAME and long story short I changed my relationship status from single to taken and THAT. SHIDD. FELT. GUUD! That shit felt like every nigga in that school had a shot and I came through like M'Baku like "Essssss challuuunge deeeeey" . You couldn't tell me shit , plus we had the same spanish class so we were out her being a couple nd shit and for the moment it was all going great.....until....

On one Friday it was a big ass party and instead of going I went to my Cousins house cause tbh fuck them parties they last like 1 hour always. So the weekend ended and Monday rolls by mind you I was getting calls from random ass numbers and I dont answer those like that so when Monday came around we had a fire drill and as SOON as everyone was outside and saw me they ran to me. I had atleast 8 people Coming up to to me saying "Dog bro you my mans get your girl she was at the party all up on some other nigga". me being naive as fuck is like " brittney? My baby? oh nooooo I don't believe yall shut up" but in the back of my mind I'm like ....wait....coikd she? Naah...so I go ask her and she immediately denies so I'm like ok cool. This was around the same time "rumors" started spread around the school that she was out here for the whole team was thottin and when I brought that up she goes "ww...well...that's not true who are you gonna believe your so called friends or someone who loves you?" AGAIN Me being a dickhead I'm like " Yeaaah baby Bonnie and Clyde, Hov and Bey, Angelina and Brad , we all we got! "(I'm laughing writing this cause I was like this..) Now along the way it was signs that were happening that I thought were weird. She would Always have "family" over or her "cousins" just came over out the blue and she had to get off the phone... 😂😂😂( I know man I know laugh! GO AHEAD! Its been almost 10 years fuck yall for laughing 😂🤣) Nd I'm like for an only child you sure have alot of family coming through. So the noise of it all started to get to me and I was over here questioning the relationship. I had a homie tell me to me face "Bro I do not want to see you get hurt and if you keep talking to her we NOT cool" so that night I'm like it's too many signs and tbh I don't wanna be with you anymore (even thoe I did....i did like fuck and I was acting like a bitch) so we broke it off and that's it.........WRONG!

Remember when I told y'all I was in love like a dickhead....well not even 3 days later we got back together cause she "missed me like crazy" and I'm like "baby I miss you too ajdgssnsjdndkd!😂" so we back together and like for them 5 days we were cool....the 6th day....nigga so I stayed after school with her and she was talking to me about Spanish tutoring and how this other nigga in my class was taking tutoring and that we should go....problem was the Spanish teacher got sick and cancelled so we stayed until the 4:00 bus...for her since she lived close it was the 2:45 shuttle so we kissed and she left. Fast forward to the after school bus my step sister stayed after with me and as we were riding back home she scream my name and says "Hey do you still go out with Brittney!?" Me confidently I'm like yeah whassup? She goes "Well hold on they talking bout she goes out with the one boul aka the NIGGA THAT WAS GETTING THE TUTORING IN SPANISH! I felt like a dickheaaaad on the bus. So many emotions, I felt like my lil bitch ass heart was ripped out, so I went home and called her she said message her in MySpace for right now. Thus is where I bring MySpace back.....how about I look on her shit and She put Boul in her TOP 5 behind me!!!!!!!! I was livid so.....

I messaged her like " Yo, are you and Bro talking what's going on...?" She hits me with a........

"Well I thought we were just friends talking " I was so angry I was like (From what I remember I wish I knew my account info but to sum it up I said ) "BITCH how dare you do that to me I loved you and you disrespected me you punk was blah blah blah " I wrote shawty a whole book angry and after I shut my laptop off.......and cried.

Smh lmao so my step sister growing up never like to see my super upset so idk HOW but she found her house number and I could hear downstairs her arguing with her nd etc. I didn't care I was upset I went on my MySpace and changes ALL my profile songs to breakup shit. Damn near a Chris Brown playlist I was HURT! I was writing cryptic ass messages talking about ima be lonley forever and yeah it was BAD! but eventuall I got over it....and the following Monday she ran straight over to me at was like "oh I'm sorry I really am and I'll get rid of all my contact and etc etc. We gotta spread some rulesnif we wanna make this work" I wasn't tryna hear dat shit. So in the end I said fuck it and we wentniur separate ways. I don't have any hate towards shawty but it was fucked up how I happened. Looking back, everytime I tell this story it gets funnier cause I was sprung. But yeah that's how I got Cheated on.....Never again thoe😂😂😂

[heartoftheveil-blog]

Elena and Hercules for the baby meme!

OKAY SO STORY TIME LMAO

@gothedistance-herc

🌱- When is their birthday? Where were they born? What was the time of day? // 🔠- Who named them? What does their name mean?

So, Elena is very much about a big-ish family, and since the future of her kingdom relies on her having babies, she’d want to make sure that no matter w h a t could happen, one of her children would be next to rule Avalor. Abdications, controversies making them fall out of public favor to rule, etc. And she’d want an even number of kids so that if they pair up, nobody is lonely.

They’d probably have their first in Swynlake BEYOND unplanned, and before they’re married, which would later cause some #scandal when Elena returns to free Avalor. It’s unheard of for a queen to have a child out of wedlock, because it’s still looked down on for Avaloran nobility. But, Elena’s like “lol I’m queen, I do what I want including have Sin Babies with my hot boyfriend.”

But they’d eventually get married to do things the “right” way. Like her mother, she’d add Herc’s last name to hers and her kids would have the father’s surname first legally, but because they’re the Flores royal family, they’d be FIRST NAME HERE Flores in print always.

Avaloran nobility naming customs also usually include all siblings of the same assigned binary gender sharing a First Name, followed by their Given Name (the name they use) and typically a TON of middle names for royalty. For sake of time, I’ll only include the First Name, Given Name, and 2 middle names per Herlena baby, but just know that Elena has 5 middle names so the kids probably do too.

I’m just gonna make up a timeline for this AU lmao so. If it’s 2017 in canon, let’s say that in two more years and some months’ change (early 2020), Elena has her first baby. A few months later, Elena frees Avalor from Shuriki’s grasp (mid-2020) and Elena is 25. A few months later she married Herc in a fancy royal wedding in Avalor (when Elena’s 26, March 2021).

I can kiiiinda see Herc being okay with a lot of kids, provided he’s learned to control his strength at this AU point, but I can’t imagine Herc would be too cool with them being back-to-back though, even though Elena kinda would want them to be. She wants them closer together than she and Isabel. He’d probably go for “look as long as there aren’t a million infants around at once.” Elena probably convinces him “what about we try to have them in pairs?” Two within a few years of each other, pause, two more, pause, etc until either she hits menopause or Herc puts his foot down and is like “no more,” whichever happens first. So it probably would look like this:

1st - their first child and first daughter, Paloma Liliosa “Lili” Anaxandra Luisa Persaud Flores, was born at Swynlake Hospital on January 16th, 2020, at 1:30 PM. Her labor with Lili lasted about thirteen hours, which is kind of average for a first delivery. Naming the little princess was a team effort. Paloma, meaning dove, was one of Herc’s favorite Spanish names. He liked doves. Doves were beautiful and peaceful and hopeful. He couldn’t think of anything finer as a namesake for his daughter - and any other daughters he may have as per Avaloran naming custom. Liliosa is an archaic Spanish name that Elena just really liked. Anaxandra is the name of an Ancient Greek artist. Luisa is Elena’s grandmother’s name.

For months following Lili’s birth, Hercules was a ball of anxiety when it came to touching the baby. Though his control over his strength had improved drastically over the past two years, it was by no means perfect. Nowhere near perfect enough to hold his tiny, very breakable, very delicate infant. He barely trusted himself to touch Elena sometimes.

(In fact, he’s pretty sure that the, uh...time between the sheets when Lili was conceived, he’d given Elena a pretty nasty bruise on her waist just because he kind of lazily held a hand there for a bit while she kinda did her thing on top. At that point, he’d only felt confident enough that he wouldn’t hurt her for them to have sex a handful of times. He must have been feeling too damn confident if he forgot a condom.)

Herc wanted to hold Lili more but he was always, always afraid he’d hurt her. The closest her ever really got to holding his daughter those first few months was slipping an arm around around Elena’s shoulders while she leaned into his chest with Lili in her arms. Elena understood. For the most part. But Herc’s fear of breaking her meant that most everything was entirely up to her despite her boyfriend - the baby’s father - being right there. It wore on her, and he could tell, and the fact that she kept not going off on him for it made him feel even worse than if she did go off on him. She kept telling him he was such a loving father, that Lili was lucky to him, all of this stuff and it just. Kinda hurt. Because it wasn’t fair that Lili was stuck with a father who couldn’t even /hold/ her, couldn’t even change her diaper for fear of breaking her. So he promised himself that before Elena returned to Avalor to overthrow the sorcerer, he’d learn to hold Lili. The first photograph Avalor would see of their Queen, her man, and their baby (which fucking terrified him, knowing that he was soon going to be an actual Queen’s, er...lover?), would be their Queen looking strong and victorious, and her baby in Herc’s arms, sharing in the responsibility so Elena could prioritize rebuilding her kingdom.

And you know? He wasn’t ashamed to admit that he cried a little the first time he was able to cuddle his daughter close to his chest, when she cooed at him and smiled the way he’d seen her do to Elena hundreds of times, as if she’d been getting the snuggle treatment from him all along. The amount of love he felt for her as he kissed her warm little forehead was overwhelming, as it truly hit him that this was his little girl, half him, and that he was responsible for her. That he wouldn’t hurt her, that he had to protect her. And, he decided, her mother. He’d turned to her and “marry me” slipped out in a whisper before he could register it happening.

2nd - their first son, Teófilo Arián Helios Raul Persaud Flores, was born on February 3rd, 2022, a hospital birth, (and another surprise conception, smh) but the epidural didn’t work and Elena was like “Well fuck, I may as well have had the birth at home Jesus fuck.” She was in labor with their second, a boy, for 25 hours from the start of the first strong pains. At first she wanted it drug free because she felt like she was so out of it with Lili, but around hour fifteen she hissed at Herc, “Give me the drugs. Get me the goddamn drugs or I swear to god Hercules Persaud, you will become best friends with your right hand because I will never have sex with you again!” so they started her off on pain meds, then a couple hours later when she was dilated enough for the epidural they gave it to her. But it didn’t work. Their son was born at 10:22 AM. Naming him was a bit of a team effort. Elena chose his - and any other sons’ they may have - first name. Teófilo comes from the Biblical Theophilius (which is funny, since Elena isn’t at all religious) meaning “Love of God” or “Friend of God.” Arián is a Spanish-language name related to Italian Ariano, or Ariàn in Ferrara dialect, which occurs very rarely and might be a misspelling for Adrián. It’s used as a “modern” or “trendy” name in Spanish speaking countries, and while such a name isn’t expected of royalty, Elena really liked it and so did Herc. Helios was chosen by Herc, to match his name. Helios is the Greek god of the sun. Raul was the name of Elena’s deceased father.

Elena tore like mad with their first one, he was a big baby at 10 whole pounds, and though the pain meds in the following days worked she was still in a LOT of pain. She had postpartum depression that set in almost immediately, crying whenever she “had to” hold her baby, almost resenting him for the pain she was still in, but feeling so guilty because she wanted to bond with him and love him the way she’d immediately bonded with Lili, and Herc was so worried about having kids and SHE’S the one who promised him it’d be okay and - and she just felt. So. Awful. But she quickly accepted she needed help and with medication, therapy, and support from Herc and the rest of her family, she got through it and soon enough fell in love with baby Arián.

Hercules almost refused to ever chance getting Elena pregnant again because he felt so guilty about the amount of physical, mental, and emotional pain she went through for Arián, like it was entirely his fault. It killed poor, sweet Hercules to see his dear sunshiney wife like that and he didn’t want to chance making her that miserable again. But it also really hurt him, the entire situation. He’d never say this to Elena, but he lamented to Peg when they came to visit to meet their best friend’s newest baby, “Peg, I don’t think I can do this. What if Elena never gets better and I have to be Arián’s only caretaker? And Lili. Elena can barely look at Lili anymore either. I’m scared. I barely even recognize my own wife, Peg. My wife is sunshine personified and I took all the joy out of her.”

Elena’s baby fever was strong though, and eventually it spread to her husband, so Herc was like “cool, let’s try for the third” and so they tried for a baby, but Fertile Myrtle Elena over here with her Super Uterus made sure the “trying” process wasn’t too long.

3rd - their second daughter, Paloma Ainara Hypatia Lucia Persaud Flores, was born August 20th, 2024, two years after her older brother, at 4:20 AM. Ainara was accidentally a home birth because Elena’s labor with her was surprisingly speedy. She started to feel minor contractions at around 10 PM the previous night, but went to bed because she figured she should sleep some, and if they got worse the pain would wake her. Well, the pain did wake her at around 3:00 AM, but they still weren’t bad enough that Elena wanted to rush to the hospital. She woke Herc up and told him to phone the hospital, that they’d be coming shortly, and she hopped in the shower to shave her legs. For some reason, it bothered her that the doctor delivering her baby might see her hairy legs. At 3:30 AM, she got out of the shower, threw some clothes on, and gathered a makeup bag with the items needed for the exact look she wanted to go for when the cameras would surely come into the room shortly after the birth, just like with Arián. At 3:50 AM, her contractions suddenly became excruciating as her labor sped up drastically. Luckily, Hercules had insisted that as her due date approached, the castle staff a doctor on site. Good thing, too, because there was no getting her to the hospital on time that wouldn’t guarantee their baby wouldn’t be born in a car, so. Ainara’s birth was beyond smooth, much to her parents’ relief.

Ainara is a name from the Basque word “enara”, meaning “a swallow.” Dove swallow - something Elena after the fact said they probably shouldn’t have done, and Ainara DID sound similar to Arián, but...they liked the name. Hypatia, Hercules chose, after Hypatia of Alexandria, who was a Greek mathematician, astronomer, inventor, and philosopher in Egypt, then a part of the Eastern Roman Empire. She was the head of the Neoplatonic school at Alexandria, where she taught philosophy and astronomy. Lucia was after Elena’s deceased mother.

Elena had a mild case of the baby blues the week or so following Ainara’s birth, but nothing like the serious depression following Arián’s birth. Herc was just as relieved as Elena was about that. As a father he was thrilled that his son and older daughter seemed to take to Ainara immediately.

Herc’s never stayed in one place too long, though. And while he would never. Ever. Never ever dream of ditching his wife and beautiful babies in Avalor, he and Elena always planned for him to start doing some work abroad and to spend some time traveling out of Avalor. While he was home with Elena and the kids much of the year, he spent a cumulative time of 2-4 months away annually depending on the year. Though neeeeever consecutively.

Leading up to one of these separations, Elena and Herc shared a very...passionate farewell, which resulted in Elena telling him over the phone she was pregnant the fourth time. They were joined by their twins four years after Ainara.

4th & 5th [bc why not but also twins run in Elena’s family] - Paloma Inez Aesara Noemí Persaud Flores, born December 31st, 2028 11:58 PM and Teófilo Emmanuel “Meme” Lucian Esteban Persaud Flores, born January 1st at 12:02 AM, 2029, 4 years after Ainara’s birth.

Elena was 34 when she had the twins. Inez was named for a Greek poet and her friend Naomi, and Meme was named for a Greek Satirist and her cousin Esteban.

Their sixth and final baby was probably the biggest surprise of all, because number 6 was actually conceived while Elena was actively on birth control, having abandoned her wild idea of “must have an even number.” When Elena was approaching 39, five years after the twins were born and biggest age gap between any of her six children, their fourth daughter was born.

6h - Paloma Martina Arimneste Francisca Persaud Flores, May 27th, 2034, at 7:15 PM. Martina was a surprise, but she absolutely lit up Herc and Elena’s lives. They were pushing 40, and to be honest...it was nice having a child so much younger than the rest, because she was still cuddly and very much a Mommy and Daddy’s girl long after the twins hit their “don’t let my friends see you, it’s embarrassing” stage. Martina was named for Aristotle’s sister, and Francisco, Elena’s grandfather.

So to recap:

Princess Lili - January 16th, 2020

Prince Arián - February 3rd, 2022

Princess Ainara - August 20th, 2024

Princess Inez - December 31st, 2028

Prince Meme - January 1st at 12:02 AM, 2029

Princess Martina -  May 27th, 2034

💤- Was it difficult to get them to fall asleep at night?

Lili - Went to sleep easily at first, but after a few weeks she’d keep Elena and Herc up a lot. When she was first born, they weren’t reeeeally living together. Not because anything was wrong, but because Elena was so close to going to Avalor to fight Shuriki, it was pointless to get an apartment together. So Herc would almost every night sleep at Elena and Isabel’s apartment. Sometimes Elena and the baby would sleep at Herc and Peg’s place, but Peg once threatened to “drop kick that thing if it can’t bloody shut up” so...only sometimes. It was after a particularly sleep deprived few days that Herc was able to hold Lili. It broke his heart when Elena cried begging Lili to go to sleep the night before. After he was able to hold her, Lili still woke up a lot throughout the night, but Elena didn’t always have to get up every time. By the time her brother was born, she slept fine, though.

Arián - was difficult to get to sleep for the first three months, but he’d usually sleep for a solid 4 hours, wake Mom and Dad up, then sleep at least another solid hour, wake mom and dad up. At around 5 months, he was easier to get to sleep but he’d wake up 1-3 times a night for sure every night. When he hit 11 months, he’d usually sleep through the night.

Ainara - was an angel. She almost always slept through the night!

Inez- fell asleep easy and stayed asleep easy, but if she wasn’t in deep enough sleep and Meme was screaming she’d wake up and join him.

Meme- a pain in the ass, lmao. They quickly have the twins separate nurseries because of how often Meme would wake Inez.

Martina - she slept easy and well for the first three months. Four to five months she was a little cranky but as baby six, nothing was new. From then on she slept okay unless she was teething.

🌀- Were they a social, giggly baby? Or were they a shy baby who did not like forced socialization?

Lili - Their oldest was absolutely a people person from day one. She loved being held by literally anybody and when she was old enough to really see, she’s stare at and smile at anybody. And whenever they took her out to eat as a toddler she’s always whirl around in her high chair and be like “hiiiii” to whoever walked by.

Arián - while he wasn’t super shy, he wasn’t quite as friendly as Lili. Arián was very much a Mommy’s boy and he didn’t like to be held by anybody but his parents unless he could see Elena.

Ainara - The shiest of the six Persaud Flores children. She didn’t mind being held by randos as an infant, but when she was old enough to realize that Mami and Daddy were leaving her with someone else and going to be gone a while, she’d run after them and usually smack into the closed door. She didn’t like strangers and would bury her face into Elena or Herc’s shoulder. When she was old enough to speak, if Elena was getting dangerously close to introducing her to a stranger, she’d cry and stretch her arms to Herc and cry “Daddy, take! Take ‘Nawa!”

Inez- the oldest of the twins was pretty social. She’d giggle and smile at most people.

Meme- The most likely to wander off with a stranger tbh. It was very hard to teach him stranger danger, Meme would always run up to randos and try to start a conversation as a little boy.

Martina - She was pretty shy. Very much a Daddy’s girl and while she’d smile and giggle as a baby at people, when she she was old enough to walk and stuff she’d only go to new people if Herc coaxed her into it, told her to go ahead.

🍳- What is their favorite childhood dish?

Lili - She was the most adventurous eater and preferred never to have the same thing too often, even as a small child. If she had peas last night, she’d adamantly insist “No peas!” but a few days later she’d be fine with peas again.

Arián - He was a very picky eater, and he went three whole weeks refusing to eat anything unless chicken was on the plate. Arián would eat anything if you told him there was chicken in it.

Ainara - When she realized meat came from animals, she became a vegetarian at age four. For protein, Elena and Herc explained to her what food she needs to eat a lot of instead. Ainara’s favorite thing ever became peanuts. Boiled peanuts, peanut satay sauce, peanut butter, you name it.

Inez- Her favorite thing to eat was toast with a dippy egg, and when she was old enough to use a stove she’d often go make herself one in the morning and forgo the nice meal the staff prepared.

Meme- He had the worst sweet tooth of all! Meme would cry whenever he was denied cakes and cookies, Herc and Elena had to keep the sweets hidden until he learned to obediently not take sweets without asking.

Martina - Sandwiches. You could trick little Martina into eating anything if you presented it in sandwich form.

🐻- Did they have a favorite teddy bear/stuffed animal?

Lili - her favorite stuffed animal was a hammerhead shark Mateo had gotten for her

Arián - no, he never took to anything particular

Ainara - yes, an anteater her Papá had given her when she was three

Inez- a stuffed dragon

Meme- Meme was a basic bitch, he had a beloved teddy

Martina - her favorite stuffed animal was a red panda

🏡- What kind of environment did they grow up in? Was it in a rural or farmlike home? Or did they grow up in the cities? Or were they a small town/suburban child?

The kids grew up in the palace in Avalor, like Elena did. Herc was waaaaay out of place there at first, and it was obvious, but Elena never tried to push him further into the public limelight than he would just naturally be as her husband. And she didn’t want pressure from the Avaloran public to put a strain on his life, their children’s lives, and their marriage, so she issued a statement regarding how she would like the press and the public to treat her marriage. She’d publically stated “My husband is a private man, please treat him as such. Hercules is a good man, and I will not stifle press freedom to gossip as they wish about how ‘improper’ the Queen’s man is, but I’m going to ask kindly that the media refrain from treating him like you do the rest of the royal family and the political citizens. My husband is not a member of Avaloran nobility. He is not a politician. Hercules studied art history at Sarah Lawrence, not political science, not law, and not business management. Nothing about him has ever been meant for public consumption. I met him when I was in hiding in a small town in England. It’s not his fault he loves me, I wouldn’t leave him alone so he didn’t have much of a choice. He is a wonderful husband to me, and father to our [at the time the statement was made] two children, and I can promise you that the next ruler of Avalor is growing up well with him as their parent. There are more important topics to discuss than my husband’s social status, so I ask that you please respect my husband’s privacy.”

For the most part, Avaloran media obliged, only snapping pictures of Herc in public with the kids for “Famous Parents and Their Kids” bits in magazines, or when he and Elena were spotted on a date. And that helped him settle in life in Avalor over the years. So for the most part he was very happy there, and it helped that Elena encouraged him to live whatever life, whatever career, do whatever travelling he desired, that she knew royal life was never what he expected and so she never pushed the traditional expectations on him.

Happy parents meant happy kids. Since the first time Herc held Lili and knew he could do it without hurting her, he became a very cuddly dad. The kids all got lots of love and attention and hugs from both of their parents, it was a very loving environment despite both of them having busy lives with Elena leading the country and six kids total. It helped that the kids were pretty reasonably spaced out in age, that when the little ones needed attention the big kids wanted to be independent.

👦🏻- What was preschool/kindergarten like?

The kids were all homeschooled by tutors/governesses for preschool/kindergarten age education and part of elementary school.

👧🏻- What was elementary/middle school like?

The kids were only sent to “regular” school lessons 3 days a week starting from age nine, in order to socialize and get to know common everyday Avalorans. They were still mostly educated by private tutors because of the unique requirements of royalty until high school age.

👱🏻‍♀️- What was high school/college like?

At fourteen, the children began to attend normal high school, some days a week were only half days because due to private tutoring they’d surpassed some subjects, and that time was used for additional study at the palace. But for the most part they had normal teenage years and all attended university.

Lili - Attended the University of Kansas in Lawrence, Kansas, USA, and the same Liliosa Persaud Flores was on her diploma and everything, despite Avaloran media calling her Lilosa Flores always. Lili’s quite proud to be her father’s daughter, so she wanted to be Lili Persaud at university. She double majored in Biochemistry and International Studies with a double language focus in Mandarin Chinese and Arabic, and she then went on to earn a masters in Environmental Health Sciences from NYU. She did a lot of with with the WHO post grad.

Arián - Studied at University of Melbourne in Australia for his undergrad. He double-majored in Music Theatre and Composition, with the goal of writing musicals and film scores. Prince Arián worked in Australia and New Zealand for a couple years before returning to Avalor. His dream is to make musical popular in South America, and to be an award-winning composer for films.

Ainara - Was quite frightened to go too far from home, so she studied at a university in Chile, just a short flight from Avalor City. She studied mechanical engineering and went on to earn a Ph.D in the field.

Inez- Inez spent her first few years post high school doing charity work because she didn’t know where she wanted to go to university yet. She eventually went to UCLA to study linguistics, earned up to a Ph.D, and was instrumental in linguistic research throughout her career. She wrote several books explaining linguistic concepts in layman’s terms for the general public so they can understand how language changes and evolves.

Meme- joined the Avaloran military. He attended Avalor City University in his early thirtes. Studied education. So after a career in the military, she just wanted to chill and teach elementary school.

Martina - Studied Political Science at Yale. She earned a Masters’ in Public Policy. Martian worked for the Avaloran Foreign Ministry, their State Department equivalent for years, and other than Lili was the only Persaud Flores child active in politics.

🌋- How often did they get caught doing something bad?

Lili - Rarely. She took her role as role model too seriously.

Arián - All the time! He was always pushing boundaries.

Ainara - Sometimes. She only really did something naughty if others were, or if others had gotten away with it.

Inez- Was the biggest fuckin’ narc of them all.

Meme- He was a little naughty, but usually didn’t get caught.

Martina - Rarely? She was a little mischevious, she liked to play jokes, but she rarely did something ‘bad’ enough to warrant punishment. She learned from her siblings’ mistakes.

🌡- Did they get sick a lot as a child? Did they ever have to go to the hospital for any reason?

Lili - Not really! Though she had to have her appendix removed when she was a teenager.

Arián - Not really, he was also very healthy.

Ainara - Her allergies were always pretty bad so her parents had an arsenal of antihistamines and decongestants at the ready.

Inez- She got strep throat and ear infections often as a child, like aaaaalways. And she eventually had to have her tonsils removed.

Meme- Always caught whatever was going around without fail! And had to have his appendix taken out.

Martina - Was actually born with a heart condition that required several surgeries, but with monitoring it proved not to really hinder her development and life.

🗯- How well did they get along with their siblings?

Lili - Very well, she loved being the big sister. Especially to little Martina, 14 years younger than her. She’d take Martina places with her and show her off.

Arián - He tried to pick fight with Lili a lot, but she’d always give him whatever he wanted and that was no fun for him. But he successfully got under Ainara and the twins’ skin a lot.

Ainara - Ainara and Inez had a rivalry because they liked to take each others’ things without asking. They grew up to be quite close, but they argued a LOT for a lot of years.

Inez- Inez hated Martina for many years because SHE was Daddy’s little princess until Martina came along. But by the time Martina was eight, Inez didn’t hate her for that anymore. Instead, hated her because she always tried to tag along with thirteen-year-old Inez and Herc and Elena sometimes made her let Martina join in on fun. They never really grew close until Martina was sixteen and Inez was twenty-two, after there was an assassination attempt made on Elena and she was in the hospital for a couple weeks. They were both terrified about their mom and Martina was so young, and as Inez was the only sibling in Avalor with her at the time (since it was during Inez’ pre-uni gap years), the twenty-two year old was the main source of comfort for Martina, and the two quickly grew out of their rivalry and had been close since.

Meme- He never really had beef with anyone? He was just a chill dude 95% of the time. He mainly was ready to fight anyone who was mean to his siblings.

Martina - Martina never really had an issue with anyone besides Inez. But even then it was almost entirely Inez being hostile and Martine trying to make Inez like her/think she’s cool/want to hangout with her.

🔷- Free question!  Magick or Mundus?

Lili - magick

Arián - magick

Ainara - mundus

Inez- mundus

Meme- magick

Martina - magick

[brownthrussy]

1-85

Wade you got me fucked up smfh jk

1.) Are looks important in a relationship?:To some extent yes, since its kinda a attention grabbed. Eventually the personality is what becomes more important.

2.) Are relationships ever worth it?:Most are, as long as they’re healthy, but some are better off ending.

3.) Are you a virgin?:I hope my mom doesn’t see, but no. If my mom ever sees this then hell yeah I am lmao.

4.) Are you in a relationship?:Surprisingly yes

5.) Are you in love?:Considering my lack of love interests and mainly unhealthy relationships surrounding me, its hard to tell for myself but I believe I am yeah

6.) Are you single this year?:Jeez I hope not lol

7.) Can you commit to one person?:Yes.8.) Describe your crush:Hmm normal lenght hair, dark eyes, average height and thicc

9.) Describe your perfect mate:Sounds similar to 8 but I guess someone I can be comfortable and relate with.

10.) Do you believe in love at first sight?:No lmao im pretty sure thats a crush.

11.) Do you ever want to get married?:It’d be nice someday so sure lol

12.) Do you forgive betrayal?:Depends on the situation and how the person thats asking for forgiveness acts. If they learned their lesson and understand what they did wrong then I could forgive possibly but if not then no.

13.) Do you get jealous easy?:No lol its cause im bad at taking hints so I cant tell when someones hitting on me or el bae

14.) Do you have a crush on anyone?: Mi novio lol

15.) Do you have any piercings?:Nope lol

16.) Do you have any tattoos?:Nah lol

17.) Do you like kissing in public?:Nah lol i dont like being the center of attention

ERROR: 18 and 19 DOESN’T FUCKING EXIST??

.

20.) Do you shower everyday?:Si

21.) Do you think someone has feelings for you?: Well I hope my bf likes me lmao

22.) Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?: hmm its possible so sure lol

23.) Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?: Well i’ve been doing it so yeah lol

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24.) Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?: i don’t think so but hey who knows what future me will do lol

25.) Do you want to be in a relationship this year?: i want to keep it so yes lol

26.) Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?: Si

27.) Has someone ever written a song or poem for you?: Not that I know of lol

28.) Have you ever been cheated on?: Officially no, but I had a few suspicions from my ex so it wouldn’t surprise me

29.) Have you ever cheated on someone?: No

30.) Have you ever considered plastic surgery? If so, what would you change about your body?: I’m ok really lol

31.) Have you ever cried over a guy/girl?: lmfao yes sadly.

32.) Have you ever experienced unrequited love?: Yeah. With my “ex”, we weren’t officially in a relationship we were just dating.

33.) Have you ever had sex with a man?: no homo but yeah lol

34.) Have you ever had sex with a woman?: tbh i just don’t support that lifestyle… i have straight friends tho so es cool

35.) Have you ever kissed someone older than you?: si

36.) Have you ever liked one of your best friends?: Nah lol I love them in a platonic way

37.) Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated? No lol

38.) Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to? Yeah lifes pretty wild

39.) Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?: yeah lmao its terrible 0/10 would not recommend

40.) Have you ever written a song or poem for someone? No im not an artistic person

41.) Have you had sex sex so far this year? Si but im staying a virgin til marriage

42.) How long can you just kiss until your hands start to wander? Depends on the mood I guess???

43.) How long was your longest relationship? Lmao the current one so almost a year!

44.) How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had? 1 lol

45.) How many people did you kiss in 2011? Lmfao 0 I was an awkward disaster back then. Now i’m slightly less but with a better fashion sense.

46.) How many times did you have sex last year? Idk I wasnt counting lol but life fucked me over alot so that counts too right?

47.) How old are you? Believe it or not, but i’m 21 lol

48.) If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say? Well rip my relationship then but it’d be something like “she ain’t ugly but she ain’t me”

49.) If you have a boyfriend/girlfriend, what is your favorite thing about him/her? Hmm I like the attentiveness and los jokes

50.) If your first true love knocked on your door with an apology and presents, would you accept? If its just forgiveness then probably yeah. Regardless im taking the presents tbh as compensation

51.) Is there a boy/girl who you would do absolutely everything for? Yes

52.) Is there anyone you’ve given up on? Nah they usually leave me first before I can say im done

53.) Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are? No lol my business is my own

54.) Is there someone you will never forget? My ex and former close friends tbh

55.) Share a relationship story: well we went to olive garden cause I had never gone. So I was feeling like a rich white woman cause it looked fancy and the waited asked if he could toss the salad for us. My stupid ass thought he either meant in a sex term or literally flipping it. Guess what I mentioned out loud. So homeboy leaves and I realize I can never return here without realizing that i assumed that the waiter wanted a fucking threesome because I spend too much time looking at memes smh. Oh and he spilled drinks on the people next to us including this lady and her phone so guess who got tipped good cause id die if i were in his position smh. Moral of the story is this is why I shouldnt go out

56.) State 8 facts about your body: I have a fat stomach, yet skinny arms and legs lol, i got a birthmark by my right shoulder that looks like hawaii apparently, if one hand moves the other tends to attempt to do the same thing, i got my apendix removed, theres a scar from said surgery on it, I barely have body hair but it grows quick, i accidently stabbed myself with a led pencil. The led remains up to today

57.) Things you want to say to an ex: Someone is contradicting themselves lmao sorry for not being what you wanted but you could’ve treated me like a decent human being. But I guess im unreasonable for wanting trust and communication lol oh well

58.) What are five ways to win your heart?: food, pokemon, more video games, trying ya best and being direct with one another.

59.) What do you look like? (post a picture!): so like do i post a new selfie in a seperate post or???? Eh ill do that later

60.) What is the biggest age difference between you and any of your partners? 6-7 years 😥 lol

61.) What is the first thing you notice in someone? How they react to situations lol says alot as a first perspective

62.) What is the sexiest thing someone has done for/ to you? Bought me food 😍

63.) What is your definition of having sex? Well it involves a penis usually afjvhadaish

64.) What is your definition of cheating? Well besides doing it physically, by lying to your S/O about not seeing anyone else and talking to others with the intention of cheating

65.) What is your favorite foreplay routine? Loving jesus

66.) What is your favorite roleplay? Reading the bible together.

67.) What is your idea of the perfect date? It involves eating, going out doing anything since anything can be fun if you’re with the right person. If it gets everything that is stressful about life and makes it seem irrelevant at the moment then this is the moment

68.) What is your sexual orientation? No homo but men are ok. So un homosexual

69.) What turns you off? Well acting like a child or being rude and dismissive.

70.) What turns you on? Communication and trust can I get an amen

71.) What was your kinkiest wet dream? Ok so there I am in battle wearing regular armor but with channel boots and I destroy my enemies by walking on them since they wronged me. There’s also lesbians.

72.) What worlds do you like to hear during sex? Are you feeling it now, Mr.Krabs???

73.) What’s something sweet you’d like someone to do for you? Anything really, its mainly the thought that matters

74.) What’s the most superficial characteristic that you look for? Hmm facial features and eyes lol

75.) What’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for you? Gave me the pink power ranger pop lol my girl

76.) What’s the sweetest thing you have ever done for someone? I gave a rare pop as a gift for christmas. It cost $50 lmfao

77.) What’s your opinion on age differences in relationships? As long as its legal and consensual then its alright

78.) What’s your dirtiest secret? Dont got any lol not any that come to mind atleast

79.) When was the last time you felt jealous? Why? Idk middle school lol crush had the nerve to talk to someone that wasnt me smh. Im glad i grew up and learned

80.) When was the last time you told someone you loved them? Whenever I see my best friend and hes about to do some dumb shit

81.) Who are five people you find attractive? So is this like from tumblr or anywhere?. Hmm theres mi novio, my best friend and fuck it like 3 of my mutuals lmao i almost tagged em

82.) Who is the last person you hugged? My younger sister

83.) Who was your first kiss? An old friend lol we dont talk no more

84.) Why did your last relationship fail? I have no idea. My ex was like “i gotta be alone” then pulled the “we’re different” card. And I figured it was both until my friend showed me that he was on tinder with an updated bio and photos that he had sent to me initially. So I guess ill never know lol

85.) Would you ever date someone off of the internet? Yeah why not lol if the connection is there

[i-amusemyself]

All of the 'Get to Know Me'.

Aaaah tysm!!!

1: 6 of the songs you listen to most?

(Jokes on you I only usually have 3 songs on repeat at any one time :’-D ) Atm though: Work Song - Hozier, Rats- Miw, Wastelands- Amber Run, Dragula- Rob Zombie, Fireflies- Owl city (yh really), To build a home- The cinematic orchestra.

2: If you could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

I…don’t know. I’m really not that into meeting ‘idols’ or anything. I guess it’d be pretty cool to meet Kaitlyn Alexander but honestly I’m not sure the anxiety would be worth it.

3: Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 23, give me line 17.

“It’s a body,” I said, “A dead body.” lmao

4: What do you think about most?

I imagine what life is going to be like when I get to uni or who/what it’ll be that finally makes me happy.

5: What does your latest text message from someone else say?

“Off to stuff my face with chinese food, talk to you later bro”

6: Do you sleep with or without clothes on?

Clothes on unless it’s above 25 degrees bc I don’t wanna die (like that)

7: What’s your strangest talent?

Lmaooo talent?! Me?! Idk I’m learning how to do special effects makeup and a couple of people have said its p cool. Also I can do this weird thing with my tongue where it basically rolls in on itself (seems to be genetic)

8: Girls… (finish the sentence); Boys… (finish the sentence)

Girls are all ethereal goddesses out of my league.

Boys are not my area of expertise.

9: Ever had a poem or song written about you?

As if lmao! Ain’t no one ever liked me that much.

10: When is the last time you played the air guitar?

I can’t remember so I did it just now to make up for it.

11: Do you have any strange phobias?

I hate cuddly toys with battery packs in them with a passion.

12: Ever stuck a foreign object up your nose?

Nooo

13: What’s your religion?

Don’t have one, I’m an atheist.

14: If you are outside, what are you most likely doing?

Cleaning up my rabbits’ mess.

15: Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind it I think

16: Simple but extremely complex. Favorite band?

Honestly it depends on the time of day, when I last ate, the luna cycle… I genuinely don’t have one I can’t answer that

17: What was the last lie you told?

Um, I lied about what I watched on TV last night lmao

18: Do you believe in karma?

I’m not sure, I kinda just hope it exists and that helps keep me sane.

19: What does your URL mean?

It’s pretty self explanatory lmao

20: What is your greatest weakness; your greatest strength?

I don’t know, for the weakness I’m torn between caring too much and saying the wrong thing.

And I wouldn’t call it a major strength but I have a lot of patience.

21: Who is your celebrity crush?

I don’t know (I barely have an interest in anything atm), given I have an entire fanblog dedicated to them I’ll say Kaitlyn Alexander again

22: Have you ever gone skinny dipping?

Nope not yet

23: How do you vent your anger?

I have a personal blog ( @the-emotional-equilibrium​ ) that I rant on

24: Do you have a collection of anything?

I have an embarrassing number of kermit memes on my phone

25: Do you prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Video chatting for sure, I like to be able to see people’s faces (also I hate phone calls they’re too awkward).

26: Are you happy with the person you’ve become?

I think I’m a work in progress really. I’m happier with myself than I used to be, but there’s always things I want to change or could improve on and I know I’m never going to be perfect.

27: What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?

I hate the sound of fabric being ripped, it makes me shiver but I love, idk, that sound when you’re just lying outside and you can hear the birds and stuff. Idk, I don’t listen to much besides music.

28: What’s your biggest “what if”?

Argh, erm, I wonder how different life would have been if I’d learnt to stand up for myself earlier. I’d probably have fewer regrets.

29: Do you believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts I’m really not sure about. Up until recently I would’ve said no, but honestly I don’t know what to believe anymore. As for aliens they’re definitely real.

30: Stick your right arm out; what do you touch first? Do the same with your left arm.

Right arm: A cushion on the sofa. Left arm: The wall. Exciting right?

31: Smell the air. What do you smell?

Chicken! (Making lunch atm)

32: What’s the worst place you have ever been to?

Lmfaooooo idk???? Not a physical place anyway. When I was really little I once had to stand outside in the snow for about 3 hours and I remember being pretty sure I was gonna die, like it was such a horrible feeling being that cold.

33: Choose: East Coast or West Coast?

East coast! I mean, that’s just based on where my friend lives and nothing else but

34: Most attractive singer of your opposite gender?

Lmfao opposite?! Okay so let’s just assume that means a guy but erm? Idk? Okay I admit I have a slight thing for half the guys in MIW so lets just go with that

35: To you, what is the meaning of life?

To have the best time possible and end it with minimal regrets. Also to try to help other people to have a better time to.

36: Define Art.

Stuff you can look at that takes actual talent and imagination.

37: Do you believe in luck?

Not really? I mean sometimes I might consider things Unlucky but tbh I have no idea what I mean by that.

38: What’s the weather like right now?

Pretty boring tbh, it’s just a grey sky with a bit of a breeze.

39: What time is it?

2:49 pm

40: Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?

I passed my test a few months back but I haven’t driven since so thankfully I haven’t had a chance to crash yet

41: What was the last book you read?

The 5 people You Meet in Heaven….and that was last July smh

42: Do you like the smell of gasoline?

Love it. It’s the smell of my childhood.

43: Do you have any nicknames?

Most people at school call me Scaz and most my friends outside of school refer to me as Chorlo. (or Wholemeal Chorlo if your name is ellie)

44: What was the last film you saw?

I watched Shrek 2 last night lmfao I forgot how good it was!!

45: What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?

I’ve broken quite a few bones but I’m lucky never to have done anything awful. Um, the worst was probably when I broke my elbow or when I tore my side open on a nail jumping off a fence.

46: Have you ever caught a butterfly?

Aaah yeah I used to catch them every summer!

47: Do you have any obsessions right now?

I guess I’m between obsessions at the minute; though I’m kind of hooked on supernatural ngl

48: What’s your sexual orientation?

Fuck knows. Not straight. I defo like girls but idk about guys.

49: Ever had a rumour spread about you?

Multiple smh. This one girl once spread a rumor I was a lesbian and I was gay for her (before I even came out) and tbh she’d have been lucky. (She was kinda obsessed with me, she was probs suppressing something). It did kinda ruin my confidence though because of all the reactions so I didn’t come out for another 2 years.

50: Do you believe in magic?

I don’t know what to believe anymore, but I’m kind of open to learning more about it.

51: Do you tend to hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?

Yeah smh. I have a pretty high Grudge Threshold in that I give people a lot of chances but once they reach that level there’s no going back and I won’t forget what they did.

52: What is your astrological sign?

Libra

53: Do you save money or spend it?

I either save it for months or blow my savings in an hour.

54: What’s the last thing you purchased?

A bus ticket?

55: Love or lust?

Love defo

56: In a relationship?

As if lmao

57: How many relationships have you had?

Three, but none of them lasted that long

58: Can you touch your nose with your tongue?

Nope

59: Where were you yesterday?

At home all day working

60: Is there anything pink within 10 feet of you?

I’m sitting on a pink sofa lol

61: Are you wearing socks right now?

Yeaaah, one is glittery the other has skulls on which sums me up pretty well tbh

62: What’s your favourite animal?

I love so many animals I don’t know!! Capybaras? Alpacas? Giraffes? Chimps? Idk?!

63: What is your secret weapon to get someone to like you?

Lmaoooo I have no idea I haven’t found it yet

64: Where is your best friend?

3918 miles away on the east coast of the USA (I get to see her in 9 days though I’m so excited!!)

65: Give me your top 5 favourite blogs on Tumblr.

(I won’t tag them but in no particular order) Pansexi-unicorn, onetinygay, shrekthelesbian, oneshappyplace and only-slightly-dangerous

66: What is your heritage?

I’m white as a toilet m8. Nah a lot of my family comes from Denmark/scandinavia which you can kind of tell from looking at me tbh

67: What were you doing last night at 12AM?

Sleeping. Sorry that’s not more interesting.

68: What do you think is Satan’s last name?

I think it’s like, double barrel as in May-Trump or something

69: Be honest. Ever gotten yourself off?

Maybe..

70: Are you the kind of friend you would want to have as a friend?

Errrm, sort of? I try to make an effort, so that’d be nice. But I’m so quiet and shy sometimes that if I was friends with myself we’d probably never talk lmao

71: You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

Save the dog, no doubt about it. If my boss is that much of a dick I’ll probably lose my job sooner or later, so I might as well lose it helping out a doggo.

72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

a) I’d tell the people closest to me, but maybe not straight away depending on how I thought they’d react.

b) I’d probably blow my saving and go travelling. I mean, what else is there to do? Oh and finish bingewatching all my shows at that time bc dying on a cliffhanger would really piss me off.

c) Maybe a little? Just because once you die you’re alone with whatever the hell comes after (pun not intended).

73: You can only have one of these things; trust or love.

Argh?! Trust? I guess? No point having love if you can’t trust people.

74: What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men and Fireflies by Owl City. They both bring on such nostalgia.

75: What are the last four digits in your cell phone number?

6666 as far as the internet is concerned.

76: In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?

Just like, having someone you can chill with and open up to. Someone where you don’t have to care about embarrassing yourself with or worry about constantly because you trust them. Just like, a super cool friendship but with kissing.

77: How can I win your heart?

Don’t be afraid to be yourself I guess. I love interesting people that don’t pretend to be someone else. Also interesting people with swords.

78: Can insanity bring on more creativity?

Who am I to answer that? Idk, I suppose yeah.

79: What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?

Cutting off shitty people and actually valuing myself enough to find new friends.

80: What size shoes do you wear?

7 (could be a lot worse given my height)

81: What would you want to be written on your tombstone?

Something along the lines of “I’m just dormant” or “Nothing is set in stone.”

82: What is your favourite word?

Un sacapuntas

83: Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

Break

84: What is a saying you say a lot?

“I amuse myself” or “what the fuck”

85: What’s the last song you listened to?

Alive (i think its called) by Sia

86: Basic question; what’s your favourite colour/colours?

Black, red and purple

87: What is your current desktop picture?

It’s a galaxy spacey thing

88: If you could press a button and make anyone in the world instantaneously explode, who would it be?

I’m torn between Putin and Kim Jong Un (no need to worry about Trump, I’m sure someone already has a plan.)

89: What would be a question you’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

The third question in my inbox rn lmao

90: One night you wake up because you heard a noise. You turn on the light to find that you are surrounded by MUMMIES. The mummies aren’t really doing anything, they’re just standing around your bed. What do you do?

(I was so tempted to say “ask if they prefer being the big or little spoon” why am I like this)

Idk id probs strike up a convo whilst looking around the room for the best weapon just in case.

91: You accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow you with the super-power of your choice! What is that power?

Hmmm, I think mind reading would be useful but it might make my anxiety even worse! So that or teleportation.

92: You can re-live any point of time in your life. The time-span can only be a half-hour, though. What half-hour of your past would you like to experience again?

Any half hour when I wasn’t stressed about exams lmao (bonus if the weather was good)

93: You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

A guy did something that I wish he hadn’t and I’m still fucked up by it sooo that.

94: You have the opportunity to sleep with the music-celebrity of your choice. Who would it be?

I honestly don’t know, it’s not something I’ve thought about with “music-celebrities” lmao

Edit: Hold up I’ve just remembered Halsey exists.

95: You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

The place I’m going in 9 dayyys!! (Or Copenhagen)

96: Do you have any relatives in jail?

Not that I know of.

97: Have you ever thrown up in the car?

When I was really little and hopefully never again

98: Ever been on a plane?

Yup a couple of times

99: If the whole world were listening to you right now, what would you say?

For fucks sake can’t you all just educate yourselves and get along? Stop. Killing. Each. Other.

[swearronchanel]

Impromptu post, thoughts during 5.05

I'm so pissed I literally lost an earring at some point today and just realized. So I ripped my dorm room apart looking for it (no luck of course) and now it's 9:30 so I already missed half of the new episode of Jane the Virgin. Also my earrings are from Tiffany's, they were a Christmas gift a couple years ago & I can't afford to replace it😭 whatever you guys don't care about this, I'm so tired but I refuse to fall asleep at 9:30pm because I'll wake up at like 5am. So I decided to watch a random episode of Call The Midwife and share my thoughts.

Ok I'm going with 5.05, since we just saw 6.05 lol, idk If there's any logic but just go with it alright

ah the old credits, I really like the new ones though. Especially the color

"We were moving from a time of guessing.." I love how the show explains & shows that times are changing

The health report! Littt

"I feel a drumroll is in order" Shelagh is so precious!! 💖 I love her Scottish accent && side note I still wish they would mention one day how she got London. It literally does not matter at all but we know next to nothing about her past and im curious ?! More of Shelagh’s past pls

WAIT ONE OF MY FAV SHELAGH LINES IS COMING

"Patrick Turner, GP License to Practice Medicine and Secret Agent Shelagh Turnova save Poplar from ill health and disease!" I LOVE ITTTT😂 ONE OF HER BEST LINES EVER DONT @ ME, her laugh at the end is priceless ah! Shelagh is lowkey funny af she just rarely gets to opportunity and again Laura Main is an actual gem 😍

KEEP FIT

Trixie looking so good😍 i need her to whip my ass back in to shape. i havent worked out in like 3 months yikes

but seriously is this really my train of thoughts if i dont mention how perfect Helen George is?

yea its fuccking cancer, cigs are no joke

lol did they really not notice Tim reading Freud?

Also why did Shelagh ever think smoking cigarettes was a good idea after she freaking had tb? i forgive her though shes my bby💕

phyllis! my mother and hero

oh yea this lady cant read

forgot she was a ex-prostitute

vi and fred doing jumping jacks im dead, theyre a cute couple

Where did frankincense come from??

lol violet didnt wanna give up the bathroom door "we may be married but i still have my dignity"

Mrs Dooly? Is that her name (idk)

I can so see Shelagh delivering her baby herself like this lady did, but obviously she’d know what’s happening. You think Shelagh is going to freak out while giving birth though? hmm  

"I do like a milky brew" WHY IS THAT FUNNY😂😂 I like the Delia & Sister MJ interaction

PHYLLIS TRYING TO RIDE A BIKE IS SYMBOLISM FOR ME TRYING TO GET THROUGH THIS SEMESTER #barelymanaging

does laying on a door really help a messed up back?

Those awful sleeves on Delia's uniform *cringe*

"I am not trusted with medical emergencies" I TRUST YOU SISTER MJ💕 lowkey hope the delivery sister MJ is involved in is Shelagh's

If I had to deliver my own baby I'd be freaking the fuck out too, like I'm not Dr Quinn

The Nonnatus Fam all at the table makes me happy😭

Sister Winifred rolling her eyes in the back 😂😂😂

"I'll be washing my hair and reading magazines from now on" yo sister Winifred is growing on me tbh?? Wow lol

"Ive always assumed the results of the male organ to be more rewarding than the organ itself" 😂😭 love sister MJ

Everyone in the convent shook😂 again sister W has the best reactions 😂 dick jokes are 100x funnier when they're made in a convent & 1000x funnier when they're made by a nun

Shelagh's "percussion" on Tim's back I'm dead lmfaoo

I don't remember if she has post partum ?

Fred taking over the shop😂 I miss when Fred used to scam though😭

"I'm missing my monthlys" "monthly whats?" Oh Fred cmon 😂

Tim snatching those cigarettes

Barbara trying to measure this lady😂😂 she's so awkward, love it

She leaves her baby outside smh

"Gosh James knows how to show a chap a nice time"  ANOTHER GREAT SHELAGH LINE😂 give my bby more great lines 😭😂

I LOVE CHEEKY SHELAGH, I LOVE SHELAGH ALL THE TIME EVEN WHEN SHE HAS NO LINES OR IS CRYING AND SAD (WHICH IS TOO OFTEN & WE NEEDA CUT THAT OUT)

Laura Main and Helen George calmly ruined me, I never was like this? How did I end up literally crying every week for fictional characters ??

Shelagh and Patrick's faces were so smug just now I love it

Yikes those lungs

Reminds me of all the gross anti smoking commercials. Also Patrick is shook but I'm not too surprised

I love that Phyllis is so understanding and doesn't judge any patient  💕

"You have the rest of your life to get the hang of it" I NEEDED THAT TOO PHYLLIS THANKS

LMAO FRED "Because hell will freeze over first"

so yes post partum??

Phyllis is annoyed bc she wants to work on her Spanish and babs is taking too long with the dishes 😂😂te querio mucho phyllis

Tim sparking up lol 🚬

Here comes trouble

I wanna rip Patrick's index finger off. Remember that time he wagged his finger and Shelagh and I was ready TO FREAKING FLIP

but yea wtf you knew this would happen Tim

Shelagh's just like "Tim no" I love u Shelagh but what does that do lmao your husband is exploding

"You'll what, light it for me!?" BOYYYY ARE YOU BRAVE KID

If I responded like that my parents would've flipped, there most likely would've been a chancla coming at me  😭😂

But seriously Patrick should know better not to smoke lol

What does Roxanne mean this isn't real??

Aw cute Patrick and Tim moment, and a year later they're getting drunk off one beer and throwing darts into the wall😂

I want to see more of Phyllis with babies aww

Also not really related but I hope Phyllis has some good lines defending the pill when it comes back up. Remember when she had babs shook when she told the story of the soldier she spent a weekend away with😏 imagine her telling the other nurses?

Used to hang out at a Jazz club Patrick?? lol interesting  

damn get that radium treatment man

"The real magic is keeping on when all you want to do is run" Phyllis Fucking Crane spilling the tea as always. How did I not like her once upon a time??

Could Shelagh get any cuter eating biscuits? No she could not

lol biscuits aren't just for fainters!! Ah I don't miss sister Ursula 🙃

that's not your mother😐 (I knew where she was going though but you know I'm gonna say it anyway)

More Shelagh and Phyllis interaction yes pls

How much is a shilling? #ignorantamerican

Fred hiding from the costumers 😂😂

Yes Vi! Defend ur man & kick this rude ass lady out

Lol now Patrick telling other people to quit smoking. Don Draper tried man, it's gonna take u a while 😭

I'm here for the Phyllis and Sister W dynamic (more now that Phyllis is teaching her how to drive 😂)

Ah I love going back to old episodes when I know what happens in the future, also I notice things I didn't notice before and make connections and yea, you catch my drift lmao

"We don't choose to be unloved by those who should love us"💔

we truly don't deserve Phyllis. SHE'S TALKING ABOUT HER MOTHER AND IM CRYING

"Shame will keep us in all kinds of prisons if we let it" 😭😭😭

Patrick has a puppy face rn

Wait they went this long without naming the baby??

omg speaking of that, I really want to know what the gender of baby Turner is going to be and what it will be named😭😭

Vi is precious lol & Fred lifting her is cute. Patrick never lifts Shelagh😂

Aw speaking of my bbys💕💕

So precious it’s almost strange Turner family moment

Why do so many people hate that couch? Like it doesn't bother me or maybe I don't care enough about the background?

Angela has grown so much in a year wow, she looks a lot younger here

lol Shelagh and Patrick are like "um wtf psychology??" 😂

Wait Angela made a noise😂 when will she actually speak??

Haha Shelagh you're going to need new dresses but you don't know yet 😭😂💕 I still can't believe she's having a baby. I Love it.

"You're my world" lol that was so cute but also I still think Tim is too perfect of a child?? what teenager is so pleasant with his parents all the time 😂 plus he's always with them and his baby sister? #givetimalife2k17aka1962

Aww all the cute concluding moments & Vanessa Redgrave saying something profound and we are done.  

[gray-anxiety]

No Sympathy Facts/ the chaos of my brain

I kept forgetting the damn name

Legit

Like “No… no wHAT????? Oh”

Aella is a name associated with storms and wind, so I gave her that name because I wanted someone who really did embody that

I kept wanting to spell Aella’s name allen smh

This book started when i finally got off my ass and convinced myself to do a mafia au. The entire plot was pulled out of my ass in a period of brainstorming that kept me up until 5:30 the next morning

I actually sketched out the apartment’s layout so I could see it better.

later I actually designed a messy version of what it’d somewhat be like in the sims

Karanese is actually a district in the Attack on Titan universe :)

Each chapter takes me like 2 hours to write simply because I play out each and every ending in my head and choose the best one I’d want to see in a story

Other times I legit just have a feeling like I absolutely know how a chapter plays out like Chapter 3’s murder fight scene. It just came to me and all I had to do was describe it like I had just watched a movie

Chapter one took a total of seven hours to write

The plot twists were created when I asked myself what cliche can I change?

(Except I kept a few just to make fun of it I.E. roommates and badboy x nerdy character because that shit is hilarious and can really show the dynamic of how different each character really is)

Chapter two bore me to death to be honest

An actual example of my brainstorming while writing down facts:

I have no idea what the fuck to do after chapter 3 help

I pretty much said fuck it to planning out a plot and just wung it

Where am I gonna place Hange and the others

What about Eren lol

OH SHIT I JUST HAD THE IDEA THAT HANGE AND AELLA WERE FRIENDS BEFORE AELLA WAS KICKED OUT AOUFHALIUEHFALIUEHF

THEY’D TOTALLY BE LESBIANS FOR EACH OTHER

How’d you come up with the name for No Sympathy?

hilarious answer, actually. I spent two damn hours laying on my bed googling “what’s your mafia nickname” to just messing around with broken languages on google translate until it just popped in my head. Pretty much I was like “oh shit that sounds lit and fearsome lets do it bois” and yeah

I’m actually making this list of fun facts while writing each chapter. I’m going to start working on chapter 4 tomorrow and hopefully get my shit together to make a somewhat good plot??

Lmao I lied I got really fucking lazy and wrote the chapter at 11 at night and published it at midnight

I wrote everything about no sympathy in one iCloud note and titled it “No sympathy; the complete chaos of making a book”

The true main character of No Sympathy is actually Levi since I feel like I understand him completely since I relate to him so much; making Levi the easiest character I’ve written about ever. Though, his true character (in my opinion) doesn’t necessarily shine through in the beginning chapters as Levi don’t get along with new people, but you can see him warm up to Aella by doing her homework, dragging her out of the party, etc.

I’ve realized I have a distinct writing pattern while writing No Sympathy: comma, semi-colon, double dash. (Chapters two and three really showcase it as I wrote those two back to back in the car)

Had I actually had the inspiration and the motivation to write this almost a year ago, I would’ve been writing about the mafia at 13, which is an absolute hilarious thought to think about when I look back to my previous fanfics. Then again, my dumbass 14-year-old self is just as clingy as my dumbass 13-year-old self lmaoo

I gave Aella the same birth day (not year lmao) as mine (September 10) so she’d be 17 during the first month of school and 18 for the rest of the book

Going off of that fact, Levi is exactly 1 year and 8 months older than Aella (I kept his original birthday)

My cat demanded that I gave him cuddles and attention so I had to stop writing for one entire day because he wanted cuddles

Normally my cat just lays on my chest while I write b u t n o he wanted cuddles

If Levi never came into the picture Aella would probably date Hanji (for all of those fellow LGBTQIA+ readers and readers that really love Hanji)

While writing chapter 1 I listened to Ghost by Halsey on repeat and I think if you read while playing the exact song it somewhat shows in the pace I set for readers.

The term ‘block class’ is actually derived from what my own high school (even though I’m not even fully considered a freshman yet jfc) uses when referring to a 90 minute class

The book Technically begins on a Saturday with Levi — the actual power duo meet that Monday (because unlike dumbass schools in real life, their first day of school was on a Monday instead of the Friday before.) on their first day. That Tuesday was chapter 4, Wednesday being chapter 5, Thursday being chapter 6 (we skip Friday because it doesn’t fucking matter in the story lmao), and Saturday being the day of the party.

Writing an x reader but without the reader was really fucking hard, honestly. I couldn’t just randomly say ‘Levi looked over at the H/C girl working on her homework across from him’ as it’d just be weird, so I thought of the next best thing and never described Aella — making her free for interpretation of her looks.

I was going to have Aella have a name reveal like ‘my real name is Y/N…’ but then I was like “No what? Fuck it. Levi already knew from the beginning after looking at her documents.”

No Sympathy was actually going to be an original story, but Levi’s character fit so well I decided to make it a fanfic.

I actually wanted to stop writing after chapter 3 because I didn’t know what to do with the plot, but I asked my friend for help coming up with the plot using the paragraphs of ideas I had to make an actual plot. So, I can successfully say I owe it to her for helping and the one sentence that kept me going in my head: “I want to make a story I’m proud of.” So I fucked up my (nonexistent, really lmao) sleeping and eating schedules and started working on this book everyday even when I didn’t post a chapter that day.

Though, it’s not really specified in the early chapters, Aella was bullied into being hated by the entire school — leaving her to be all alone, which actually happened to me and gave me PTSD after transferring.

Ironically, I gave Aella a ton of reactions and characteristics I would/ just generally have, but I see myself more in Levi, which is probably why I prefer writing about him over Aella.

As of writing this, chapter 5 is currently my favorite chapter as it is a mix of a filler chapter and a regular important chapter still just as important as the rest.

Depression and PTSD actually got in the way of writing so many times I actually am surprised I’ve written so much

As writing has always been my go to for letting out everything (as I have z e r o close friends lmao) I actually don’t realize when I’m done with each chapter until I realize I’m out of ideas for said chapter.

I don’t even realize I write about 2,000 words until it’s like “oh,,”

No Sympathy wasn’t just any fanfic for me, it was like I was actually Aella seeing the entire story unfold from beginning to finish

I tried to push myself to describe more, as I’ve noted while rereading my previous shitty fanfics — I struggled describing everything.

I tried to not have the basic “tch”, “brat”, and just random cursing from Levi unless it was at the exact wrong time (or I just put it in because I could totally see him saying that in said situation)

I tried characterizing Hanji as someone who wasn’t the basic overexcited dumbass most fanfics portray her as — instead I tried thinking of her as an actual person with reactions and different moods  and tried to embody that each time I wrote her

Character development is a huge thing Ive been trying to work on ever since I wrote A Valkyrie and a Mischievous God (though that character development and story sucked ass and I cringe at how popular it’s gotten), and a huge target for it was none other than Aella. At the beginning you could see she felt trapped in an endless cycle of stress and fending for herself, but when Levi came in and was like “lmao I have money you don’t have to stress” she felt like she was in an odd spot, and eventually after she reunited with Hanji she started to feel more free

Parents were completely cut out of this story because I genuinely don’t know how to write them as mine are either states away by choice or always working, so I just had Aella get kicked out and had her entire family gone.

My best ideas surface at 4 am when I’m trying to fucking sleep

Help me

But hey I now have a new passion for this book

I generally didn’t know how to end it

buT THEN I D I D

A huge thing for me, and my entire driving motion for writing this was a simple sentence: “I want to write something I���m proud of.”

Am I proud of this?

Eh. It’s not shitty, I suppose. I could always do better.

Characterization was so difficult for me. I wanted to stray from basic fanfics of an overly hyper Hange (though, I couldn’t help in some situations, but after watching an entire season and a half in one day, you notice personality changes) and write and more serious one — except I’m a damn shitty author with so many grammatical mistakes my ex-mentor would literally rip her hair out.

Writing a book has always been my goal, and I know this is the only thing that will ever come close to it.

I have another Levi x reader planned, but I always hate doing the basic ‘_____’ ‘Y/N’, etc because it literally drives my depressed self I n s a n e when writing

Most times for my outline summaries of the chapters I just put my name in place of Aella lmao

I actually struggled a lot when writing this; sometimes I even broke down thinking no one liked this book or I wasn’t a good enough author to write anymore.

My asshole self mainly spent my summer writing this rip

Currently, as it is July 2nd, I am literally hoping to Levi that I fucking get this done before August or else I’m so fucking screwed with beginning high school and shit.

Oh yeah btw, I’M NOT FUCKING READY FOR THE FINAL SEASON. I’LL BE A DAMN SOPHOMORE AND THAT IN ITSELF K I L L S ME

I don’t know if I’m actually going to continue with this book, but have these collected facts I started writing the moment the first chapter was out :,) It’s already September and my past dumbass was right

High school is kicking my ass

I have another story idea/plot written out and I really like it so idk. I think I’d stop halfway again because I’d think that no one would like it

[spn-traxx]

spn rewatch: 12x01

summary: mainly me screaming over me seeing spn again and appreciating all the hints about later episodes. feel free to add/reply to this ive tagged them as ‘spn for ts’ is you want to block.

AHHH deans emotions of seeing mary again i totally understand why she would feel so overwhelmed. The gentle hug. Tears in deans eyes..... im so Affected TM

that vet looking at the money i also get him as well lmao. vet school isnt cheap yall.

reconsidering my stance on toni idk. I still dont like her on premise of being evil but i enjoy the thought that she and the torture girl raise tonis son together :)

HORMONES DUDE ME BINCH TF

CAS CRASH LANDING LMAO big bad of the season is going to be that trucker he knocked out for the truck 😂

sammy getting drenched in water :((((((

ooo theyve seen the blood :0

yeah mary its blood 😂😂 gun coccckk oooo

the fact the bmol knew cas was going to b there and drew the sigil im emotions

gun under the table.

lmao marys not going to stay there wtf? thats a rly unprotected place dude. priorities or just dean being a dummy?

SHE SNEAKIN

intense music so she looks at books

door clang and footie steps

GUN DRAWN

WHERES SAM 😢😢😢😢

HES A FRIEND

AH THEY HUG

HIS FACE

MARYS FACE

MY FACE

TEARS

CAS VOICE ISNT AS DEEP WHEN HES EMOTIONAL

HES AN ANGEL AAAHHHHH WINGS HARP

NO HARP

C A S T I E L

AY HE MEETING THE MUM ALREADY

“your mother” nah his sister tf dude. U kno his whole life story dont play #pretendingtobeafakefan

2.12 am. Deans on a pc.... dean has a tumblr confirmed

fucking quick 😂😂😂 on a red light as well

ME TOO MARY

IMPALA

winchesters love the impala me too tf

“johns car” that dean picked out in 1 of his 2 time travels lol.

"remember me? we funked in the back of u. Oh look my butt print is still there!" *horrified deans face* THAT SMIRK LMAO cas doesnt get it 😂😂

sams shivering im 😢😢😢😢 "ur the hero of this story." "Bad at ur job" maybe is sam didnt have pnemonia hed listen dude

Never seen this bit of london hmmm. Monsters cant even chill these days smh...

“give us all the hunter locations” lmao sams a loner he doesnt kno these things .... but ketch finds hunters later in the season soooo how did they get them ...

“Go to hell” - flames come out - hellfire

Maybe this is karma of losing his shoes seasons ago

CROWEWERY demons sassing crowley is my fav. they were v culture savvy when they lasted ;(

uhhh the crashed out bodies are gross

JIMMY ROSS MECHANIC BRITISH

an angel? *deans headshake lmao*

he already broke thats why 😢😢😢

bring in ketch... doesnt want physcopath near her hmm.... break his mind 😢

Never seen that high tech payment machine at a side street thing in my life. #fake

Cas buying them coffee im 💕💕

marys pretty excited about being 30 years in the future. Its like her sci fi dream come to life. what a nerd

Wtf is that???? mary is me. Cas doesnt kno what tf that means either. Who did dean even call 😂😂

HES JUST CARRYING COMPOST FFS

i thought this guy was going to b a huge character in the season guess not.

Yeah he took it. Cas calm down tf??

MARY CAS TF DEANS THE ONLY CHILL ONE

i got a physcos phone number bb... i liked this actor. (Searches name)

they gave him sweatbands on his feet? O they bandages

This is bigbrother watching. Omg when he fell in the chair i saw the puss in boots water thing lmaoo

i like when villans hang up on them 😂😂

HULK SMASH also he broke the guys phone wtf is he ricegum

sammys hurt ... hes hurt real bad ... 😦😮😱

KEVIN. DEAN. MUM. MEG. hes remembering all those he lost.

how tf did that crash work like. didnt even hit her window tf.

Shes having a nap guys shes got narcolepsy

CAS HELPING MARY 💕

you presumed RIGHT DAMMIT

JESSICA😢😢😢😢

gps on ur phone boi. turn that shit off.

STOP WITH THE POSTURING ur old mens now .... HIS BONE CLICKS. Cas with one hand up dude. Spit out blood honneyy. She could have thrown that gun but nahh she wants to fight hand on hand. what even was her goal here except to fight them??

not the time to nap mary 😂😂

Assasssassasassaasasasas

IT COULD HAVE HIT HIS HEAD TF COORDINATE GUYS

so does cas say thanks mary or thanks mum

SAM MAKING ME CRY LIKE A BITCH

NO HINEY PUT THAT DOWN

also tf this suiside shit make me cry

its going to jumpscare me man i hAAATEEE *ad break* im safe for another day

OOO SAMMY BOI CHOKE HER BOI also sidenote how tf do people ship toni and sam together wtf. seriously. they tried to kill each other.

NOOOOOO 😢😢😢 sam baby 😢😢

Talking of hands... mary..... theres no blood on ur hands but u think there is. Isnt that a macbeth reference??

DONT FEEL SORRY BABE WE LOVE YOU

she has a guilt complex im crying

“we make the world a better place” and yet here u are making me cry ... explain

“sweating and pale and physco” stop calling me out please

Crowley snapchatting lucifer new bodies to his buddies

CRIES AT GOOD MUSIC CHOICES

it looked like dean and cas were holding hands excuse me while I DIE

dean wants to talk to her but doesnt kno how MY SWEAT BEAN

S A M BABY I FEEL FOR U I LOVE U DONT B IN PAIN MY LOVE IM CRYING

blue screen of cctv death

*end*

goood now that i know all the characters in the later season im so emotional about this. deans reacting to mary killed me. cas actually being IN this season made me cry. sam getting hurt and jareds acting of it made me BAWL.

on to episode 2

[sh-lan]

last winter quarter mumbles...

First day of winter quarter: Only one class! #yas #nolab Also secret santa with the house! The circle: Me -> yuri -> vania -> leighton! Also i think i’m sick… EDIT: I AM SICK FUUU

cogs 187b - random groups pls kill me side note, there’s this guy that looks like jeff and i keep thinking that it’s him but it’s not so it’s super awkward when i stare just 0.1 seconds too long

damn what a wild morning i literally. cannot. with. my. body. this. first. week. #mlkday EDIT: in case i forget, i had like the worst case of food poisoning i have ever had in my life

bruh like i basically had a 4 day weekend cause i’m hella fuckin weaksauce these first two weeks wot is life side note: retreat was fun! and also lake arrowhead that we’ve been going to? IS WHERE THEY GET ARROWHEAD WATER i’m deceased. today i learned

y’all i can’t believe bts is going to have a comeback in february also i can’t fckin believe that the army bomb v2 has its own teaser photo bighit is so extra

Omg i fucked up one of my eyebrows …time to grow it out and then get it fixed

i think i’ve literally been living under a rock how did i miss the fact that mom literally has THE BEST matcha latte ever on campus? wtf what a concept

I somehow managed to get a free trial for BTS channel+ 아싸! Things are starting to look uphill from here cause my ded self is risin’ Bless

8am on thursday of week 2 woke up at 7:20 by yuri - the time i was supposed to leave gg to the both of us for not waking up omg LOL we got to school late but that’s besides the point i should probably get some waterproof jeans or something lmao

when you don’t think your stomach is strong enough to handle coffee just yet but everything in mom smells hella fckin good

sometimes…why…can’t…you…think?!?!?!?!?! #struggles

OMFG army bomb v2 changes color everybody go home wtf this is great #goodbyemoney

missed the army bomb v2 preorder, got sold out cause we waited too long :< EDIT: OMFG I CHECKED THE ANAHEIM TICKET PAGE JUST FOR KICKS AFTER MY SHOWER AND THIS GURL WAS LIKE THE BOMB IS GOING IN AND OUT OF STOCK AND I WAS LIKE HAHA NO WAY. so i went to check it and OMFG IT WENT BACK IN STOCK SO I WAS LIKE OMFG VANIA DO WE DO IT and we did it and it has been done there is no going back this is happening we bought the army bomb lol and immediately after i preordered it, it went back to being temporarily out of stock again wow wot is life

Thursday week 2 I didnt realize i was awake since 7:20 today…my brain thought what happened this morning were events from yesterday

The rain is so real. Almost skipped discussion. Good thing i didnt :O

BTS comeback on feb 13th Preorder starts jan 25th Im fuckin ded i just bought the lightstick Im hollerin

fml both versions of the album are my aesthetic i want to cry

omfg why did tumblr change the tags into bolded font TERRIBLE

Lol omg i was gonna go to sleep but then someone logged onto the monsta x plus channel and i was like i wonder who it could be AND IT WAS KIHYUN so i stayed lul wot

내 미래를 향해 가 저 푸른 바다와 내 헤르츠를 믿어 Hey oh, oh hey oh yeah #rediscoveringlyrics #andfallinginlove

really debating getting the bts album(s) but i shouldn’t because money because i should pay for my trip because i should have priorities EDIT: i got them

omg i want to die i just sent out like 3 job applications with the wrong dates on the cover letter shoot me

this girl straight up braiding her hair in the seat infront of me but dropping her hair onto my laptop SMH

but like why doesn’t pokemon go work on my phone anymore?????

daily reminder to take one step at a time

been pampered by coffee on campus that starbucks taste real shitty

LUNAR NEW YEARRRRRRR #year2kbbq Lol omg so we decided to have a house dinner. And then we were like ok korean food and so we ended up deciding to go to kogi! So we were like it dun matter if we go to happy hour since it happens after 9pm but lol we got there around 8:20 but ended up waiting until like 9:30 anywayssss. Dinner was so great i ate so much meat tbh i dont even know whether or not i need to eat tmr LOL Then we drove home at like 11:30…and sat in our garage from 12 to 12:30 because we were too lazy to move from the car HAHA WHO R WE Also apparently, according to yuri and vania, we had the same waiter as last year and lel LEAVE IT TO US TO GIVE HIM HIS NEW YEAR GREETINGS HAHA. And here i am in bed with the biggest food coma. Let me end this with some season’s greetings lol 새해 복 많이 받으세요. 祝大家新年快樂！ 生體健康、學業進步、年年有餘、and most importantly 心想事成! ✨

I just got three bug bites on my ankle out of nowhere like???

after thinking long and hard, vania and i pre-ordered the albums today #goodbyemoney

why do i always find live streams for bts things at inopportune times??

i really still can’t get used to the way my vis60 professor lectures. she pauses at the weirdest times and emphasizes the most inopportune words… “i can think of. Perhaps - the most different. contrasts” ”the decisions. to make. something.” like…that is so hard to understand at 8am…

y’all i can’t wait to watch all the run BTS videos i’m so excited

Nervous about tomorrow but also excited about tomorrow I hope everything goes well! #interviewtime

bighit literally has no chill right now i thought concept 2 photos were going to come out a week later but then BAM IT HITS US IN THE FACE ONE DAY AFTER ANOTHER

2/2/2017 A day full of stufffs #praying #hoping #maybethingswillworkout Honestly, super thankful that my AB experience prepared me for group activities and on-spot presentations lOL (but like lowkey doe this one guy would have failed my group activity if he was interviewing for my trip smh) ALSO I MADE FRIENDS ;____; but i only managed to add one of them on fb, i should’ve added the other guy too *crying* but that’s ok. if fate has it, we’ll see each other again lel. EDIT: daily reminder that we fall down just to get back up

Bruh photography class got me like ??! CAUSE INCLEMENT WEATHER AND I SHOULDVE JUST TAKEN PHOTOS YESTERDAY I’M SUCH A NOOB

i made my own wintermelon tea and then my own wintermelon milk life is ok and going good

today yuri and i saw violin guy while we were sitting outside of ledden and i may or may not have freaked out too hard and he may or may not have noticed lol

watching hwarang and thinking wow park seo joon has come far since his dream high 2 days lololol

I saw a really cute ring on etsy Debated for a few days and …i bought it

I lost the little screw in my car key gg

Went hiking today with part of my group! It was lovely and 6 miles and now i’m tired hnngh

omg everyone park seo joon released his own version of that tears song for hwarang and it is like actually one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack HNNNGH

lowkey getting overly excited about hwarang ost fklewjafkelwa

This guy behind me straight up talking about how there’s some kind of apocalyptic event every century and how after each event, stability is restored. He was telling his friend to….create an apolyptic event right now to restore stability. I’m boutta flip a shit LOL WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT IT BETTER BE SOME FICTION NOVEL

Week 5 meeting MY AND HARRY’S FIRST FULL MEETING HOW EXCITING I LOVE IT

omg my professor is cancelling class on feb 14th and omfg BLESS NOT HAVING AN 8AM AND ALSO I CAN STREAM BTS CAUSE COMEBACK. LIFE IS GREAT. EDIT: no streaming because the first time they perform will be at the concert omg so shookt

not to be petty but i checked the revision history to see how much work my team members did and this one guy (who didn’t contribute last time either) did one slide and all he did was add the title somebody hold me back why do i always have teammates where i need to carry #hardcarry해 #smh

I fucked up by updating the messenger app smh

Finally got my tdap booster today It hurts Like an itchy mosquito bite Smh

y’all i was so shookt when i woke up to not today’s teaser OMFG JFKELAJFKELSJA IT’S GONNA BE LIT

I woke up at 7:30 on a sunday morning to watch the spring day music video and i’m so shookt by the edting and the song almost made me cry because lyrics And there’s the whole theory where they’re dedicating this song to the sewol accident and i just ;____;

그래 우리는 extra Omg i cant believe rapmon said that LOL SO ICONIC MY LIFE MOTTO FOR THE NEXT MONTH

when i first heard not today, i wasn’t really feeling it much since i feel like the teaser hella hyped it up but now i’m hella feeling it this is fire 2.0 LOL

ALICE CAME TO VISIT week 6 weekend Sushi ota on thursday night - BLESS NO MEETING HAHA Friday night bbq with the same waiter from lunar new year LOL he spoke to me in korean omg i almost forgot how to speak? Saturday morning cowles hike! And then….boba…and then ded Sunday didnt see alice ): but das ok i got to just rest and do a bit of hw

why 왜 為什麼 為何我做的事你也要跟著做 Side note. Why is the font size inconsistent for my chinese keyboard ???

Dont like the new gmail But it’s not actually new cause im just a noob for not updating Sigh

ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED. I REPEAT. ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED.

i had a dream that i was on a korean show or something and then i got assigned to sit next jungkook (omg it was like not up to me but then i was like holy shit holy shit?) and then we took a trip to the grocery store to get snacks? but like the thing i wanted was too high for me to reach so he grabbed it for me? but then somehow we ended up exchanging kkt somewhere in the grocery store lmfao what kind of dream is this but then his managers chased him down because he’s not supposed to do that or something? oh well LOL wut EDIT: who am i

i accidentally swallowed some toothpaste this morning

fml i just saw spoilers for hwarang EDIT: OMG SO DANGEROUS I ALMOST JUST SAW ANOTHER ONE AND NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. NEED TO UNFOLLOW THE TAG FOR NOW

han got me pizza and a shitton of parmesan bites for valentines day :> happy child

man holy shit ep18 of hwarang had too much shit i cannot process

omg i’m gonna die park seo joon is so cute in she was pretty

omfg i was JUST wondering if park seo joon would have to go to the military qq BUT HE ALREADY WENT!!!!!! side note: i told vania i was going to finish she was pretty in two days and i really finished it in two days…

Week 6 Thursday ARMY BOMB IS HERE! #yas in retrospect, should’ve just bought the albums from the official shop cause who knew they were paying for EMS cause dayum, my army bombs got here in 3 and ½ days. SHIET so excited it’s lit

Seventeen’s lightstick hands down the prettiest lightstick i ever seen omg

i need to stop this whole “treat yo self” mentality went to return pants to zara that cost 42.99 walked out of f21 with 42.09 worth of clothes lol wtf BUT THAT FREAKING 65% OFF ON TOP OF THE ALREADY MARKED DOWN PRICE? i got three things for $9.10 omg bless? but that one other jacket i got was 29.90 ): is it worth it? eh we’ll see however, i would’ve stayed if it weren’t for my yogurt in the car…and actually shopped a lot LOOOL it was so worth then i came out to a storming STORM GOD SO MUCH RAIN but now i’m home and dry and happy

i’m sitting here streaming the bts wings tour in seoul and getting highkey emotional it’s 1:30AM what is life when bangtan is life

WEEK 7 HAN CAME TO VISITSSSSSSS

unbelieveable han puts me on do not disturb on his laptop SMH

hello but can we talk about the not today mv HOLY SHIT not as fire as fire but still so JKLFJEKLSJF there are so many things in this mv that are just. omg i cant side note - i made han watch it with me LOL

tae and rapmon’s headband look jungkook’s pink highlights yoongi’s blue highlights what’s not to love

highly likely to go blind cause of vis 60

really been craving strawberry milk …and thai food

gonna give up sugary drinks until the end of this quarter *gasps* goodbye amazing tasting coffee drinks T^T

my arms are so sore from the spam musubi making fuuuuuuu

i forgot harry was only 19 and then i was like omfg jungkook is still only 19 too wut

thanks to jungkook, i have finally pinpointed one of my more or less favorite genres: tropical house…which han apparently doesn’t like LOL

Want 족발 Must go to grandma’s lunch on a weekday qq

Rewatching fire mv Why are they ironing jin at the behinning Suga has fake freckles? Why does 1thek have 5 million ads/links

Spam musubi and 8am got me so tired I went to sleep at 12am Why is it that when i go to sleep early, nothing happens in my social life and everything happens in bts life While when i sleep late, everything goes on in social life but nothing in bts life????

The world does feel really slow when you’re in a rush

dreading the photography critiques sigh

Stayed up to stream mcountdown because lol why not right? Even though i have an 8am…. NOT TODAY PERFORMANCE WAS SODIJWWJDIWK FUCKING JEON JUNGKOOK WINKING AT THE END HOW RUDE wtfbbq And also spring day choreography got me feeling some typa way? Shiet….maybe i can learn this…maybe ALSO ONG won that 1st place by a landslide WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH y a s

Just realized that there’s no “winking” emoji without the kiss What even Also i just unconsciously winked at my phone while looking for the wink emoji… Imagine the possibilites of face detection to emoji translation. Texting would be so much faster #busthoughts

omfg i was like where am i gonna ever use my bts cd ON THE CAR DUHHHHH!!

REALLY DREADING GOING INTO REVIEW ON MONDAY BECAUSE PICTURES WERE NOT GOOD FOR PROJECT 3 want to crawl into a hole why didn’t i take this class p/np lmao who am i EDIT: everything is ok she actually didnt hate them

Feels so great to not do anythingg this weekend??? Omfg But yo i literally slept from 8pm till 10am almost 11 and if that doesnt scream me i dont know what else does

i bought a “day old” pastry from mom today and it’s an espresso mocha chocolate chip scone thingy and i’m in loveeee

waiting for packages from korea to come~ no EMS is sometimes a pain~ we’ve been too pampered by amazon prime~

Feeling a little discouraged BUT i’ll stay positive!

I mean I can technically go to those concerts in japan Technically

Omfg leave me forever incapable of closing my water bottles correctly? SMH PLS DONT

Found out that my photography TA is 26. Das like alice age And also her first phone was the peanut looking motorola LMFAO CAUSE ME TOO

봄이왔다~ 春天到了~ CAUSE IT’S MARCH AND THE WEATHER IS REALLY NICE and i’m, for some reason, in a really good mood. it could be the music but it could also be the weather ahhhh this feels nice :>

Omg my ring from etsy finally came!! GREETINGS FROM SPRING AMIRITE After a whole month ;___; it finally got here on march 2nd Ugh but it’s so nice and pretty i’m about to die And it really was made to order! That’s crazy. It’s so cute and adorable If only their stuff wasnt so expensive I would buy like everything

When the right volume for your music is right in between the button volumes so you gotta manually slide the thingy VERY carefully

OUR KOGI WAITER WE JUST SAW OUR KOGI WAITER AT PC OMFG

Issue night: “I dont know how they had time to come up with an acronym (USA PATRIOT) maybe they were in shock or something….(from 9/11)” LOL “Lowkey sus” - Abe [the babe]

cooked curry with everything today reaffirmed that i dont like carrots that much

Debating getting more rings on etsy HNNNNGH struggle is real

I saw a license plate the other day that said “NUTELLA” and the same “UOUOUOU” car parks in peterson all the time lol

Had a dream that i met jungkook while checking out the bts schedule with vania Like the schedule said that they just had a fan meeting and they were gonna walk around the area and their fans could follow them or soemthing And i was like shit but do i wanna do that and vania was tryna convince me…but i thought that there would be too many fans so… And then jungkook fckin pops outta nowhere and somehow we got talking and ended up somewhere? Like their dorm or something And we were just browsing through army pictures of them and whatnot And then he was being all kinds of diff “kook” where he was a fangirl kook…and then regular jungkook where he “kissed” me on the cheek it was weird Dont remember the rest cause i woke up LOL EDIT: i think i wrote this while still being half asleep please excuse my fangirl tendencies LOLOL

Omg the kettle cooked jalapeno chips are so good wtf Dangerous

want to watch hyungsik’s new drama but i shouldn’t i shouldn’t

jungkook’s look in the spring day dance version is so boyfriend i cant

oh yeah how did i completely forget to mention that my week 8 was pretty much entirely occupied by yuri on ice!! after freaking week 7 annoying ass shit with everything due that week wow what a struggle

rewatching haikyuu!!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. TO. READ. AEOE. AHHHHHH if only i could find the third book of the series as well )): qq EDIT: TIFF FOUND IT. bless her soul

March 6th The one day i decide not to check the mail THE ALBUMS COME IN A PACKAGE BY THE FRONT DOOR VANIA CAME HOME AND WAS LIKE AHHHHHH it was definitely a “shut the front door” moment Also onfg we took forever going through the album and just freaking out Vania got rapmon and jungkook photocards While i got jhope and jungkook photocards In retrospect, it was shipping like on feb 20th and took only around 2 weeks to get here so i would say that was pretty damn great Ugh they’re so beautiful why We also got random photocards created by kpopmart so those were a nice gift! I put them on my wall and kept one in my card holder thingy LOL I also put up a standee on my desk Now where to put the posters 🤔 HA It was a nice surprise :>

Lmao the recruiter called me this morning at 8:30AM but our call was supposed to be at 11:30AM, i’m surprised i even woke up It’s a miracle i even stuttered through that phone screen #shetotallymissedthepart #whereiwrote #PST

Craving chocolate milk and i neglected to get that On the otherhand, i spent around 21 bucks at trader joes getting all the healthy foods that i love AND ALSO STRAWBERRY YOGURT O’S THAT WERE JUST MY AESTHETIC EDIT: ok but like not only were they aesthetically pleasing, they also taste great. also the fact that they’re just a bit fatter means that they’re crunchier and takes a lot longer to get soggy in milk im in love

You know what they say When you crave choco milk You been traveling through time and space

had a one on one with harry at k cuisine today definitely gonna find time to go back and eat more chicken glad harry wanted to eat korean chicken and i actually had a place in mind also they were playing so many kpop songs that i knew and all the goblin songs were getting me real emotional lmao

Hnngh they’re gonna sell merch at the bts wings concert What is gonna stop me from buying shit if there’s actually enough stock Im ded EDIT: jk i cant believe that official merchandise goes on sale on march 9th aka tmr because korea time and like wtf ok bighit just let our wallets die and wither away smh i cant

Gonna have to hold off on buying rings or not buying them at all because bts merch ;___;

omg but ?? the video that jungkook made yoongi was so damn cute? also…editing on point… EDIT: i would fall in love with editing because it’s the damn iphone 7 promotional video that apple made. wot is lifeeee omggg that was crazy (why don’t i keep up with current trends? where was i??)

lol watching all the wings md getting the little “temporarily out of stock” red sticker haha

JK got new piercings right where i wanted to get them please stop tempting me i already told my dad i wouldn’t ask again hnngh

omg i had thai food for the first time in forever~ (ok realistically like week 3 but like still)

all these photos from the concert im ded because how do people have the money to go to multiple concerts esp in different countries? (aka headliner…) tumblr is too distracting

i broke my comb that one weekend that leighton went to irvine…because i dropped it on the floor…i was, to say the least, shocked weekend before week 10, i finally bought a new comb lOL

GOT7 never ever thoughts Yugyeom’s voice hit me in the face Choreo at the beginning looks nice I dont know how i feel about the chorus doe Wait. Yugyeom cant happen to me because omfg jungkook but wait they’re such a killer bffl pair fml

new highlight song got me shookt because…..b2st will always be <3 in my heart esp yoseob’s vocals

i’m having another watch phase dammit

actually really like bap’s comeback this time side note: harry calls it “bap” like “bop” but with an A. LOL

Day of daylight savings Couldnt sleep Reading AEOE Didnt sleep til 5am And now skipping 101b What needs saving is obviously my body not the daylight

When you realize out all the current playlists made on spotify, your music taste is closest to jin’s LOL

Week 10 tuesday Broke my retainers D: EDIT: got an appt with an ortho because need to get them imprints before my teef get shifted but holy shit dude it’s $350 for one retainer im ded. And i called 4 different places and it just keeps going higher and higher im

sharing opinions in photography class is hard because i can’t words

GLOW. IN. THE. DARK. RETAINERS. #gottagetmoneysworth

do you ever do that thing on facebook where you’ll be like “i’ll just scroll to a place where a video stops playing” but then the moment the first video stops, another comes into the browser and starts playing oh wait oh my god THEY MUST HAVE BUILD THEIR PAGE TO BE RESPONSIVE TO THE SIZING OF THE WINDOW SO THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN AND THUS IT WOULD KEEP PEOPLE SCROLLING ON FACEBOOK facebook is evil everyone

too loud -_-

Discovering a tiny mole on jungkook’s nose

i can’t believe i’m sick for the 3rd time this quarter body r u ok also…runny noses aren’t fun my nose is literally leaking can barely reach for a tissue in time smh

i just saw a spoiler for the run bts episodes -_- tumblr is never safe

It’s hard to believe that i’ll be leaving for my trip in 4 days It’s hard to also believe that after that, vania and i will be heading over to see bts Oh man This is exciting

Flood warnings in peru making me have high blood pressure #pleaseleteverythingbeok

my trip got cancelled i am in shock still

Im so numb I think im ready to pass out

I broke one of the little feet thingies on my charger…. SMH

I feel broken But Getting it back together Currently on do not disturb

lol.....gonna end this one on a somewhat sour note because that’s actually how the quarter ended. spring break was a week full of shit as well. however, it was also a week full of healing and self love - as much as i can give myself for that matter

so we’ll leave it here. last winter quarter of my college career - one of the most busy in terms of AB life and one for the books for all the shit that has happened. i really wish that #adversity won’t be associated with this forever but looks like it’ll be related to this for a while. lOL.

moving right along~ things I can look forward to: spring break mumbles, last quarter mumbles! #staysane #staypositive