#come to think of it Andrew would so adopt Adam too

[millionancientbees]

Oh I'd love to see your list of fantasy books if you're comfortable sharing!! I'm always looking for good fantasy recs hehe (or if you have a goodreads or storygraph or something 👀)

Heya! First and foremost, check the trigger warnings (or ask me!) for all of these because I mostly only read books that hurt. Second, I read, broadly, fiction, and I don't really...understand genres, but. Here are what I'd consider fantasy (as I think other people understand it) that I've read in the last two years that stood out to me:

The Name Bearer by Natalia Hernandez (I loved this and can't wait to read the sequel)

The Queen of the Tearling books (because it was fantasy it wasn't exactly my thing but the ending has stuck with me since January of last year, so I expect others will like this)

Witches of Ashes and Ruin by E Latimer (I will never stop being upset that I can't find more books that feel like this one, I loved it so so so much)

As for fiction, which I love dearly, we have:

The Firekeeper's Daughter by Angeline Boulley

The Thirty Names of Night by Zeyn Joukhadar (!!!!! LOVE THIS BOOK!! LOVE THIS BOOK!! I'm screaming from the rooftops that I LOVE THIS BOOK!!)

The Things She's Seen by Ambelin Kwaymullina, Ezekiel Kwaymullina

Just Like Home by Sarah Gailey (audiobook is narrated by my all time fav narrator; her voice is received either very well or very poorly and I find it fascinating, but I'd listen to her read a phone book, especially because she sounds incredible sped up even as fast as 2.5x)(also this is a horror novel and I think about it constantly)

Magic for Liars by Sarah Gailey (mystery, magic school, kind of noir, absolutely fucked up by the ending)

Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Blunt

Jackal by Erin E Adams

A Deadly Education by Naomi Novik (tho I will say the author really just hits you on the head with worldbuilding over and over like a sledgehammer, but I enjoyed it)

Light From Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki (!!! sapphic, aliens, what if a trans sex worker made a deal with the devil so she'd be good at the violin, it's wild and good I loved it)

This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron (plant magic!! Black girl adopted by two Black moms who love her dearly!! greek mythology!)

The Seed Keeper by Diane Wilson (environmental justice in an indigenous framework, I've been thinking about it constantly for over a year)

Her Majesty's Royal Coven (what if a terf went fucking crazy)(author is trans and one of the main characters is too, also a sapphic character, both this one and the sequel literally made me gasp out loud at the end and I was like sweating and snarling like a rabid dog trying to find out when the next book comes out)

The Marrow Thieves by Cherie Dimaline (made me cry like a baby)

The Moon of the Crusted Snow by Waubgeshig Rice (thriller from an indigenous perspective, super good)

Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White (super queer, horror, autistic love interest, absolute mindfuck, bad guys are religious zealots and it's....wild)

The Fifth Season by NK Jemesin (this author could crush me with their bare hands and I would say thank you so much for hurting me)(the first book in this series made me so upset I actually got drenched in sweat and had to quietly get up from bed so as not to wake my partner up and have a very quiet fit about it, I loved it so much it was so painful)

[denimbex1986]

'I have mentioned in my other reviews that my mother recently died, and so I like to read films through her memory, judging whether she would have liked it or not. It is no surprise then that I was apprehensive to watch Andrew Haigh’s ‘All of Us Strangers’, which directly confronts grief, nostalgia and loneliness. The recentness of my grief surely effects my viewing of the film, but then maybe not. In one of the best lines, Andrew Scott’s Adam tells Paul Mescal’s Harry that his parents died when he was a child. “It was a long time ago” says Scott but Mescal beautifully replies, “yeah, I don’t think that matters”. So maybe for anyone watching this film, whether you have recently experienced grief, experienced it historically, or simply are an adult who has to deal with the sadness of saying goodbye to childhood, this film will resonate.

We begin with Adam and Harry, strangers but neighbours, living in a huge tower block that is yet to be populated. The sense of isolation and loneliness is palpable from the first shot. It is reminiscent of Scarlett Johansson’s longing looks out the hotel window in Sofia Coppola’s ‘Lost in Translation’, that feeling of being in a city full of life yet completely alone. As some one who has lived in those huge blocks, yet felt very lonely, I felt very seen. This leads Adam to try and get in contact with his past by visiting his childhood home, yet finds his parents living inside, the age they were when they died, waiting for his return. The surreal nature of this is when the film works best. The avoidance of ‘ghost’ tropes or time travel is what feels refreshing, and allows the film to be unapologetically about feelings and loss. The parents presence is simply a vehicle to allow for certain conversations, it does not matter how they come to be, they just are. If you like this idea, you should certainly pick up Toshikazu Kawaguchi’s ‘Before the Coffee Gets Cold’ series of books, where people can travel back in time to speak to a loved one, but only in the time that it takes for the coffee to get cold. This principle means that it is not about effecting the past, or great revelations, but simply closure within personal relationships. If you were to see your dead parents again, what would you say? It is exciting that a British film has been able to adopt a concept like this when other Western films about ghosts have generally stayed away from this therapeutic angle.

However, the film at moments loses its nerve on this, almost landing within melodrama or cheesiness. The whole film is on the nose, that’s the point. Character’s speak the themes out loud, there is a lot of showing rather than telling, and its unapologetic about this. In some ways, it could push this even further, and allow itself to become more abstract, more slow. Instead, it tries to retain a more conventional drama story structure which lets it down, and then falls into some of the ghost tropes it had so beautifully avoided. In my Letterboxd review, I described the film as a really really well done GCSE play, and I stand by it. This really lets the film down, especially towards the end, which I won’t spoil. All I will say is that I was almost constantly crying through the entire rest of the film, apart from the last third where I think the film maker wants you be crying the most. Even the choice of song over the end credits felt too much, and at that point rather than hammering the point home, just left me feeling like we had lost all the nuance. I am not alone in this, as when I was getting up to leave at the end of the film, I overheard the people behind me wishing they could just erase the last ten minutes. I ended up chatting to them about it because they had so perfectly said out loud what I was thinking inside my head. For a film about loneliness, maybe it is fitting that I connected with some strangers through it.

Regardless of this complaint, the performances make the film. Andrew Scott is incredible, watchable and you feel deeply for him throughout. Paul Mescal also shines, somehow becoming a man that is so familiar and so pitiful, and the sex scenes between them are wonderfully done. I haven’t yet mentioned that this film is as much about being gay today as it is about grief, and amalgamates the two. It is superbly done, using tropes yet also being honest about them. Again, the best bits of the film are when it just frankly discusses what it is, reading more as a collection of conversations than a narrative. Jamie Bell and Claire Foy as the parents are also wonderful. I have been a long time Jamie Bell fan as I think he is underrated, and I cried every time Claire Foy uttered a word. These are the only characters in the film, so it really relies that each one is exceptional, which they are.

So would I recommend it? Yes, maybe for the performances and first half alone. Would I recommend it if you’re grieving, if you’re lonely, if you’re gay? It will be rougher, as it hits certain places deep inside that frankly just hurt. But I was also slightly underwhelmed. I thought I would be uncontrollably sobbing throughout, that I would be wrecked for weeks, and I wasn’t. By the end, you are reminded that it is a film, and then it suddenly makes it all a bit more manageable, which maybe is a shame.'

[riotwizard]

i know everyone always compares andrew and ronan but hear me out; Andrew would adopt the *fuck* out of Ronan

[jerakeenc]

many kidfics i’ve read and loved

look who’s reccing a million year old fics now. kidfics, very many. posted to dw for snowflake, thought I’d copy here as well. will be reading most, if not all. if you don’t hear from me again, this list is the culprit.

101 Ways To Get Lucky (In Love) by lenore

18,200 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Rodney McKay is rich, gorgeous and at the top of his game—except someone just moved the goalposts! Now Rodney realizes he is sorely lacking the one status symbol that everybody seems to have…the perfect family. Rodney needs help, so he hires a relationship coach. Single-dad John Sheppard may be an expert, but not when it comes to his own relationships! And every day he spends with Rodney makes him wish that he could be the one to fill the vacancy in Rodney's life…

A Beautiful Lifetime Event by astolat

29,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans.

An Earlier Heaven by regann

67,400 words | X-Men, Erik/Charles

In the wake of Cuba, Charles and his students are ready to pick up the pieces and work toward achieving Charles's dream of a safe haven for young mutants. Those plans, however, take a surprising turn thanks to a very unexpected complication. As he slowly builds a future for his students and for his child, Charles struggles with the loss of Erik and the secrets he's willing to keep to protect his family, but those strides are shattered when Erik makes a startling reappearance into his life. [mpreg, kidfic, ensemble]

And everything nice by noelia_g

30,200 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

The one where Mark somehow ends up with a child and of course needs a nanny for the amount of time he spends at the office. Only problem is a string of nannys keep trying to get into his pants for what he assumes is his money. Cue Mark's assistant hiring a male nanny, enter Eduardo.

asking to be born by longtime_lurker

26,500 words | Bandom, Pete/Patrick

"Don't worry, it's probably just his big gay freakout," Andy yells cheerfully and unhelpfully into Patrick's ear as they're hustling Pete over to the nearest private clinic.

Better with You by harriet_vane

38,100 words | 1D, Liam/Louis

Based on this prompt at the kinkmeme:

Single parent and solo artist Liam Payne hires Louis Tomlinson to be a full time nanny to his four year old son Sammy. Although the two men don't quite click from the start it's love at first sight between Sammy and Louis. Eventually Louis and Liam warm up to each other and get on like a house on fire, in fact the two become a little too fond of each other.

I refuse to apologize for how sweet this ended up, okay? It's kidfic, I am forever writing kidfic, and this one is even kid-fic-ier than usual.

Can't Get Enough of You (Baby) by eternalbreath

22,100 words | Inception, Arthur/Eames

Eames vanishes from dreamshare and Arthur goes a little crazy looking for him until he stumbles across him -- with a baby.

Chelsea, Chelsea, I Believe by empathapathique

300,800 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

Patrick meets a girl his rookie year.

Don't You Shake Alone by dsudis

62,180 words | Generation Kill, Brad/Nate

Nate looked exactly like Brad always pictured him: exhausted in the full life-in-a-combat-zone sense of the word.

Dude, what's a bulwark? by kellifer_fic

12,150 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

Beacon Hills is the kind of small town where everybody knows everybody, and what everybody knows is that surly diner owner Derek Hale and free spirited single dad Stiles Stilinski have been in love with each other for years. If only they knew it too.

Every Other Beautiful World by rhiannonhero

43,280 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

Some things are unexpected but still inevitable in every beautiful world.

Forever, Now by harriet_vane

227,100 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard, Jon/Spencer, Brendon/Ryan, Brian/Greta

Brian rescues kid!Gerard and Mikey from life on the streets, and eventually everyone finds a family.

here comes the sun by oflights

56,600 words | Social Network, Mark/Eduardo

This is a story about growing up, sad 70's rock songs, too much hair gel, "Maxwell's Silver Hammer", a baby with curly hair, a Geiger counter, a dog that isn't named Max, the Chicken Dance, Cheerios, pepper-spray, drugs, sex, and a stuffed chicken named Cluckerberg, nicknamed Cluck. or: Mark raises Sean's accidental baby, and I write the fluffiest thing ever.

I Got a Love (That Keeps Me Waiting) by svmadelyn

163,700 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

There's a lot of different ways this summary could go, like:

Patrick Kane gets more than a gold medal in Sochi.

Or, the classic: It's too late to pull out now.

Or: Patrick Kane continues to thrive in high pressure situations.

Or: Patrick Kane gets knocked up, goes to White Castle, and finds love, not necessarily in that order.

But, ultimately, all that really matters is this: Patrick Kane is keeping his baby.

I Would Be by cathalin

20,290 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

AU. Adam and Kris meet a few years down the road, when down-on-his-luck Kris and his young daughter Katherine show up to rent a room from Adam, who never made it to an Idol audition.

Ice Ice Baby by uraneia

51,340 words | Hockey, Claude/Danny

A gold medal isn't the only souvenir Claude brings home from Prague.

OR: The one where Claude gets drunk, gets pregnant, and gets convinced to move in with Danny, whom he's been secretly in love with for years. What could possibly go wrong?

my heart is bigger than the distance in between us by estrella30

15,000 words | 1D, Nick/Harry

Nick chuckles quietly but grabs the remote and follows Emma, Aimee coming up close behind him. It’s indeed Harry on the telly, singing along to his latest radio hit and smiling slowly into the camera far too seductively for half eight on a Friday morning, if you ask Nick. He presses the volume just in time to catch the crowd’s roaring applause and see the pink flush Harry’s cheeks. Nick watches him duck his head as he gives a small wave to the audience, and it hits Nick that Harry is still the most humble and appreciative billionaire Nick’s ever met.

Good job, popstar, Nick thinks to himself.

or, Nick is a single dad and Harry is his bff and it's a bunch of years into the future and they fall in love

Once Upon a Furry Octopus by skoosiepants

11,270 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

He was an intelligent, intuitive pet, but he wasn’t going to start sniffing out ZPMs or hidden Ancient weaponry or detailed instructions on how to kill a Wraith with a common household item. A pen, for instance.

Reconcilable Differences by astolat

40,000 words | Smallville, Clark/Lex

Luthor Family Values.

Shelter by harriet_vane

63,500 words | Social Network, Jesse/Andrew

From the kinkmeme prompt: Some sort of AU vaguely based on Shelter! For whatever reason, Jesse has to take care of Hallie and give up his dream of being an actor. He ends up working in a dead end job when former, now successful friend (Andrew) returns home. They fall in love, etc, only Jesse can't go away with him because he has a responsibility to his family. CUE ANGST.

Show Me The Way Back Home Baby by stilinskisparkles

15,000 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

In which Lydia and Jackson produce the world's cutest baby, and the pack goes crazy-- the good kind of crazy. Except for Derek, who is afraid of tiny cute babies and Stiles who plans to be the best Uncle ever. Even if Danny called dibs on Godfather.

Skybird by windsweptfic

33,785 words | Inception/White Collar, Arthur/Eames

Arthur and Eames adopt a kid and raise that kid into Neal Caffrey.

Small Cells and Fibers by sevenfists

7,830 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

Tuesdays were finger-painting days. Frank made sure to wear his oldest pair of jeans, because even with his full-length apron and his constant reminders that paint belongs on paper and not on clothing, he always ended up with tiny, multi-colored handprints all over his clothes. There wasn't a thing he could do about it, so he just wore pants from 1995.

Small Primes and Square Roots by liviapenn

12,500 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

"I hope you picked someone really intelligent, otherwise it seems like it would be kind of a waste. Of incubation time, if nothing else."

So Wise We Grow by deastar

81,250 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/Spock

"Commander Spock, we have located your son," the Vulcan lady on the screen says, which would be great, except Jim can tell by the look on Spock's face that he's never heard of this kid before in his life. "If it is expedient, the child will be sent to join you on the Enterprise within the week."

Something Better by lovelypoet

18,350 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"We all have to take jobs we don't like sometimes, you know?"

The Next Time You Say Forever by Thistlerose

27,300 words | Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/McCoy

After his ex-wife's death, McCoy is forced to leave the Enterprise to look after his teenage daughter. Under normal circumstances, this would be the end of…whatever it is he has with Kirk that's more than friendship, but less than what he wants. But the universe has other intentions.

The Reeducation of Misters Kane and Toews by jezziejay

15,900 words | Hockey, Kane/Toews

In which Kaner sort of has a kid, and Mr. Toews doesn't know which of them is the bigger brat.

AU featuring teacher!Jon and hockey-player!Kaner. With bonus 'Hawks characters, love notes, pasta jewelry, Be Better Pizzas, pirouettes, a sprinke of angst and guest appearance by Derek Jeter.

The Road Delivered Us Home by keelywolfe

117,430 words | Hobbit, Thorin/Bilbo

In the years since Bilbo left Erebor, he has lost his respectability, gained a nephew, and gotten on with life at Bag End.

He'd left aside adventure for the comforts and peace of his little Hobbit hole, and for the love of a child who needed him. Though perhaps, adventures can yet find him.

This Story Was Brought to You by Our Sponsors by scaramouche

29,500 words | Supernatural, Dean/Castiel

Dean's post-apocalyptic life is a friggin' soap opera. Romance! Angst! Separations! Reunions! Pizza Dinners! A Child Dean Never Knew He Had! It's all very dramatic.

throw a little sparkle all over it by etben

26,000 words | Bandom, Frank/Gerard

"Hey, Ma," Mikey says. "No, everything's fine—well, I mean, Gerard accidentally adopted a baby—no, he's changing her now, he can't talk."

Tiny Houses by ohmyjetsabel

77,130 words | Teen Wolf, Derek/Stiles

"So this is what Stiles does. He lies in Scott’s bed and waits for Melissa to say she’s found someone to get it out of him, to cure him of the wrongness and the bad, and he dreams.

God, he dreams.

He dreams of fire and swollen bellies and that scene in Alien, of giving birth to jackals through his urethra, the whole horrific nine yards. His head is a terrible place to be, he can’t imagine his stomach is much better, why anyone would want to put a thing inside of it."

Tip, Slide, Tumble by j_s_cavalcante

42,900 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

Ray knew when he found the body in the alley it was going to change someone's life. He just didn't expect that life would be his.

Turn by saras_girl

306,000 words | Harry Potter, Harry/Draco

One good turn always deserves another. Apparently.

Unless it's lies or it's love by sprat

25,300 words | American Idol, Kris/Adam

In which Adam (a rock star) meets Kris (a single dad) at an Emergency Room in Arkansas at the end of a particularly shitty night. Also features: San Francisco, fresh starts, baked goods, OCs, cameo appearances by Matt and Megan, pirates, monsters with garbage heads and a recording studio.

What Child Is This by lamardeuse

30,150 words | Merlin, Arthur/Merlin

A modern AU with Merlin, Arthur, mayhem, a baby and a jingly elf hat.

What to Expect by arsenic

29,200 words | Bandom, Bob/Mikey

Mikey has his band, and his little girl, and that's enough. Really, it is.

Winter's Children by neery

66,890 words | Marvel, Bucky/Steve

When their attempts to recreate the super soldier serum failed, Hydra started trying to breed Captain America clones from his genetic samples. Unfortunately, the serum's effects aren't passed down genetically, so instead of an army of tiny Captain Americas, they get a bunch of tow-headed, asthmatic, allergic, immuno-compromised little Steves.

And then the Winter Soldier stumbles across Hydra's failed experiment...

With Six You Get Eggroll by speranza

31,000 words | due South, Fraser/Kowalski

"Kick 'em In The Head: A Guide To Parenting."

ETA: Bonus! Because I apparently lost my bookmark for this one but have the memory of an elephant for kidfic, so it came to me eventually. :D

A Farm in Iowa 'Verse by sheafrotherdon

166,000 words | SGA, McKay/Sheppard

John inherits a farm, Rodney ends up entirely out of his element, and there is much ado about baseball.

[kamandzak]

Among the Great Unknown | Excerpt

I’m writing a sequel to my last book and this part of the first chapter devastated me to both write and reread.

Context: Andrew Garland has died after a lengthy battle with HIV. His sisters, parents, husband, and daughter are all present and handling the immediate aftermath as best as they can.

Recommended listening: Miracles by Two Steps from Hell

Henry was sitting in the living room, the space illuminated softly by a well-placed candle. Off in the distance, through layers of grief and cotton, stifled cries came from the bedroom just around the corner. I wasn’t sure I was ready to face the music and so I sat wordlessly down on the couch and in a last-ditch effort to occupy my hands, I took his, staring at his fingers as if doing so would bring Andrew back. His cuticles bloody and nails bitten down past the bed, they reflected what I could only imagine ravaged his internal organs as he watched his husband grow sicker and sicker.

           “I wish I had just done it,” he whispered, hands beginning to shake beneath mine.

           “Done what?”

           “He was so adamant about not. He was adamant about me staying around. Staying healthy. He was so bent on adoption after his time with Greg.” Henry’s open conversation about Andrew’s boyfriend from years back both surprised me and didn’t. “And when it finally went through, there was no convincing him it wasn’t a good idea.”

           “What?”

           “There’s this hole, now,” Henry stole a hand back and clapped against his chest, breathing becoming more labored by the word, “and I’ll spend the rest of my life wondering if I should have thrown him onto the bed one night and just done it,” he gasped. “I know we have a beautiful daughter who needs her father to be around, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do this without him. Why didn’t I just do it? Why do I have to live wondering what it would have been like to love him?”

I pulled Henry to my chest and he slammed against my ribcage, his body convulsing so strongly I felt my own body shifting in it’s seat.

           “He was loved,” I managed.

           “But not in the way he deserved. I-.”

           “I’ve never met a man so capable of love, and I think you know that. I think you know that his way of showing he loved you was to keep you safe so that Rose has a father. Just because you didn’t fight back on that request doesn’t mean you didn’t love him.”

Henry dissolved and I sat uselessly, unsure if I was of better use in the living room, with my wife, or back at home with my children. Andrew had talked about how death makes you feel like you don’t belong anywhere. He was right.

           “Duncan, I don’t know what to do.”

           “I… I don’t either.” I looked around the room in a desperate search for something to talk about that wasn’t going to reduce Henry down to an even smaller entity. “Rose. Where’s Rose?”

           “She didn’t want to be around all of this. She doesn’t know what to do.”

           “Is she in her room?”  

           “I think? Fuck, Duncan I have no clue. I don’t know anything anymore.”

           “Can I go look for her?”

           “Please.”

I rose, leaving Henry slumped against the worn cushions of a sofa that had once belonged to Tessa before she and Andrew moved into their own places, her with Reese, Andrew with Henry. Years of memories lived in that couch that now barely kept Andrew’s surviving husband upright.

           Rose’s door on the second floor was closed. Four years after coming to the large and loud Garland family, her relationships with her aunts and uncles were strong but not the same could be said for her cousins. Trevor and Grace and even Nick understood that their mother and I wanted them to step up; Rose was a Garland, whether by birth or not. Trevor made a point to talk to her at family functions though it was far different from his conversations with Robert, Dalia, Colton, or Marie. Outside of her room, my heart ached for her stricken sixteen-year-old self.

           I knocked tentatively.

           “Please leave,” a quiet voice said from the other side of the door. “I don’t care who you are, I don’t want to talk to you.”

For being in the system as long as she had been, Rose was one of the kindest and most mature teenagers I had met. Life had given her plenty of reasons to go through life jaded and unhappy, but it wasn’t until I stood in the carpeted hallway that I got a hint of anger.

           “It’s not your dad. It’s Uncle Duncan,” I said. “But if you don’t want to talk to me, that’s okay.”

A moment of quiet; a moment that allowed the still audible cries from downstairs to occupy the space. I turned to leave when the door opened a hair.

           “You can come in.”

           Rose was dry-eyed and empty, her expression akin to being hit by a train. Seeing her knocked the air out of me as her face crumpled and she screwed her eyes shut, blinding grasping for me. I grabbed her and pulled her close. Her sobs were silent and excruciating.

           “I’m sorry, Rose,” I whispered, hand landing on the back of her head as she shook against my shoulder as her father had minutes before. “I’m sorry. I don’t know what else to say.”

           “You don’t have to say anything else. Is… is Music Dad okay?” she asked, differentiating between her fathers by what they loved the most.

           “He’s sad. He knows you don’t want to see him right now.”

           “I don’t want to see the Aunties either.”

           “That’s okay.”

           “Why?”

           “Why what? Why is it okay?”

           “Why does stuff like this happen? I know you don’t know,” she answered herself as I stood, struck by the vastness of her question. “No one does.”

           “You’ve thought about this a lot, haven’t you?”

           “About what? Death? I didn’t like it at first,” she admitted. “But Movie Dad kept getting worse, didn’t he?” My throat tightened at her observation. “I don’t think it’d be normal if I didn’t think about it.” Roses revelation mirrored that of my eldest weeks earlier and I found myself longing for their strengthened relationship in the wake of losing Andrew. “Didn’t you?”

           “Didn’t you think about Movie Dad dying? Never mind don’t answer that. I already know the answer.”

           “Rose, can I ask you a question?”

           “Sure?” Worry rose in my throat as the words about to exit into the atmosphere processed through my brain,

           “Before you came to our family, what did you see?”

           “See?”

           “Did you see death, Rose?”

She stared at me like I’d grown a unicorn horn,

           “No. Why would you think I did?”

           “You just… speak with honesty and experience.”

           “Movie Dad told me he was sick on my fifteenth birthday – after I got my learners. He told me not to spend a lot of time thinking about it, but I did anyway. He started changing; doing less, being at home sleeping when I got home from school, eating later than Music Dad if he ate at all. My dads always said we couldn’t plan for the worst because that was no way to live.”

           “You’re very observant.”

           “I didn’t know my dads for the first twelve years of my life. I have a lot of catching up to do… had a lot of catching up to do,” she clarified, face falling and rose beginning to crinkle as I practically watched the panic rise in her chest.

           “Do you want me to get Movie Dad?” I asked and she nodded, tight lipped and teary. I tore out of her room without another word.

           Downstairs, my beautiful wife seemed a decade older than she had been when she bid me adieu as she sat on the couch with another sister-in-law, Beth, and Henry. He rose at the sight of me.

           “You’d better go up there,” I began. “She’s ready for you.”

           “She’s starting to feel, isn’t she?” I nodded. “Simon’s on his way,” he said to a red-faced Beth. “Maybe Duncan can sit with you too.”

I nodded, sitting in Henry’s vacant spot as he ripped up the stairs. Sara took my hand in hers, the other easing Beth’s face into her shoulder.

           “I love you,” she said to me as I slid closer.

           “Where are the others?” Sara nodded in the direction of the spare bedroom Andrew had been moved to the week before. “And the husbands?”

           “Frank and Simon are driving in now. Reese has been for a couple days with Tessa. Anita’s in there too.”

           “And your mom and dad? They’re,” Sara’s eyes flickered to the right, “in the room too. Got it.”

           “How are the kids?”

           “They know. They want to talk to you in the morning.”

           “And school? What are we going to do?”

Sara knew me well after thirty-plus years. Distract me with logistics. Set small, attainable tasks so I don’t flounder. Keep me focused.

           Andrew’s death was different, though.

           “Do you want them to see him?”

           “No,” Sara said with a shake of her head. “I don’t. Hospice is coming to call time of death,” she managed and I nearly retched. “Then the home is coming to pick him up”

           “Have you called Lewis?”

My wife looked at me, startled,

           “I…. I didn’t even think about him.”

           “I’ve got this,” I reassured as the front door opened and Simon and Frank rushed in.

           “Beth,” Simon said as he ran forward, I rose quickly, as did Sara, and the two of us embraced and Simon fell onto the couch and threw himself against his wife.

           “Where’s Clara?” Frank asked as the door to Andrew opened and his wife emerged along with Tessa and Reese. He reached out, pulling her close.

           In the dark silence we stood, the Garland Husband’s with our downtrodden wives.

             “Hello?”

           “Lewis Johnson?”

           “This is he?”

           “I’m sorry to call you in the middle of the night, but my name is Duncan Nelson. I’m Andrew Garland’s brother-in-law,” I paused, hoping my introduction would be enough and I wouldn’t be forced to speak the truth. “I-.”

           “When did he go?”

           “A couple of hours ago,” I breathed out with relief.

           “He’s still out in Nevada?”

           “We all are.”

           “Text me the address. I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

Click.

           How many others were there to tell? Who else could I call and break the news to so the others didn’t, while I was in the mindset to do so? I ran the extensive list of family members and friends that surrounded my extended family.

           “Who was that?” I looked up to find Henry and Rose entering the kitchen.

           “Lewis.”          

           “Right, crap,” Henry self-censored himself in front of his daughter. “I’d forgotten about him.”

           “Who else can I call and tell? Anyone on your end? Family? Friends?”

           “I need to call them. Not you.”

           “I can help you, though, if you want.”          

           “You should call grandpa,” Rose took her father’s hand. “I think I’ll go find the Aunties.” She left without another word, heading for Andrew’s room.

           “Thank you for talking to her,” Henry managed. “Sometimes she just needs someone to talk to her a certain way. I think you’re her favorite.”

           “Let’s call your dad,” I answered.

           “He’s going to know as soon as he sees my number.”

           “That’s okay. I know Andrew died,” he shuddered, “but you’re still here. Let’s get your dad in the loop.”

Slowly, as if controlled by the worlds slowest puppet master, Henry took his phone and found his fathers number. I reached over, placing it on speakerphone as it began to ring.

           “Henry.” I had only met Scott Steven’s once before, at the wedding, but the speed with which the call was answered told me he knew the purpose behind the 3 AM contact. “I’ll be there as soon as I can.” The line went quiet.

           “I wasn’t supposed to make it past thirty,” Henry whispered. “I’d do anything to go back and not just to not feel the way I do.”

Reaching over, I took the phone from the table and searched for two additional contacts. Records showed messages sent to them mere hours before Andrew’s death.

           “Hello?”

           “Hello, is this Wade?”

           “It is.”

           “My name is Duncan Nelson. I am Andrew Garland’s brother-in-law.”

           “I remember you from the wedding. Do Emmett and I need to come?”

           “Yes.”

           “We’ll tell Tony and Mariellen, and we’ll all get there as soon as we can.”

           “Thank you.”

           “Henry? Are you there?” Henry eked out a choked cough. “Hang in there, we’re on our way.”

             There was a knock on the front door as I read and re-read the email to be sent to my children’s teachers. MaryBeth and Thomas had left the room at some point earlier though no one seemed to have a sense of time. The girls were back in the room, just the five siblings. No husbands, no parents, no additional support.

           MaryBeth opened the door and stepped back.

           “Ma’am,” a tall man in a well-pressed suit began and I quickly put my phone down and approached the front door as MaryBeth’s hand covered her open mouth. “Ma’am, we’re here to help you.” Behind him stood a tall, well-built woman in a black pencil skirt, white dress shirt, and a similar blazer to the man. “We’ll be in with our materials in just a few minutes. Please take your time.”

MaryBeth looked at me with horribly fearful eyes and I turned and rushed to the bedroom I had yet to brave. The door was open just a crack.

           He looked like he was sleeping, Andrew, and not all that different from the last time I had seen him, when we’d all piled into the living room with the older children to watch a movie. Like he had been for most of his life, each sister seemed to cling to him as if holding him could bring him back to life. His head rested against his husband’s thigh as Henry sat cross-legged at the head of the bed, weaving his fingers through Andrews’s hair while his other hand sat on his heart. I could barely stand to look at any of them.

           “They’re here,” I croaked. “To take him.”

Henry began to cry, Clara rising from her position on the floor near Andrew’s knees to console him. Sara nodded before she rose and stretched. Beth turned on her heel and left immediately, the sound of her bare feet pounding the stairs echoing through the first floor.

           Tessa broke, her body shaking against the bed as she knelt beside the bed, arms outstretched over Andrew’s shins. Her hands grabbed at nothing, her cries mimicking those of a dying animal needing to be put out of its misery. Thomas came into the room and put an arm around his youngest daughter but she pushed him away.

           There was nothing any of us could do and I went to the doorway, prepared to beckon to Reese. He was already at the opening.

           “Tess,” he said quietly. “Tess-.”

           “They can’t take him away from me!” she cried. “Why couldn’t we do anything? Why couldn’t I fix him? I was supposed to keep him safe and I couldn’t! I promised,” she gasped. “I promised to keep him safe and I didn’t.”

Tears sprung to my own eyes for the first time that night at the sight of my sister-in-law agonizing over fate. Standing in the doorway were the two well-dressed individuals and without another word, the room emptied, Reese carrying his wife out to the living room and Clara’s long arm wrapped around Henry’s middle.

           “I can’t watch,” Sara whispered to me.

[jemej3m]

HAVE U EVER THOUGHT OF A BAND!AU?? i love band au's and ur work!!! (not to mention but i think u would write an excellent drummer!andrew)

are you kidding me??? have i ever thought of a band au? bruh i breathe band au’s

also, i wanted this to be soft, so have some childhood friends starting a band out of their mum’s garage :DD

*

“Can I now?”

Neil ducked his head, trying not to show Andrew his grin. “No, ‘Drew.”

Andrew cocked his head. “How about now?”

Neil turned around and arched a singular eyebrow at the man. “You cannot shove your drum stick through Kevin’s brain, Andrew. Not now: not ever.”

“I hate you,” he muttered. Neil just grinned. 

“You say the sweetest things to me, ‘Drew.” With that, he turned and continued to tune his acoustic. Behind him, Andrew was going bright red. 

What started as a friendly, neighbourhood band had turned into something else entirely: Neil and Andrew were cramped backstage, tuning and warming up. Kevin was probably talking to his mom on the phone, whilst Nicky was most certainly trying to escape their security detail and go flirt with fans in the event centre’s foyer. He could charm a crowd. 

They’d started the band up when they were just kids: Neil remembered Kevin grabbing him by the sleeve and dragging him across the street, where he’d noticed the three Dobson boys setting up instruments in their garage: Nicky on bass, Aaron on keyboard and Andrew on his drumkit. 

Neil, having been only 11 whilst the others were 12 or 13, wasn’t as outspoken or enthusiastic about joining them as Kevin was. 

“Come on, Neil,” Kevin insisted, dragging him by the elbow. “I’ll sing and you play the guitar. Okay?”

“It might be fun, Neil,” his sister, Dan, insisted, giving him a gentle push out the door. “It’s just messing around in a garage band. Nothing serious.”

If little Neil knew where he’d be, nine years later, he probably would’ve spontaneously combusted out of paranoia and fear. 

Adult Neil still got anxious - he always wanted to perform his best - but it’d taken years of gigs and scouts and labels to work them up to where they were now. It was a gradual process, which definitely helped the whole stage-fright thing. 

“What are you thinking about?” Andrew inquired, sitting down behind Neil and hooking his chin over Neil’s shoulder. He smiled, leaning back against his best friend. 

“Just stuff,” he responded. “How we got here. Where we’ll go.”

“Next stop on the tour is D.C.”

“Funny.”

“Yes,” Andrew agreed, deadpan. “That’s what I’m known for.”

Neil just laughed, getting to his feet. “We’d better get ready before Kevin comes back.”

“Your brother is the worst,” Andrew grunted, following suit. 

“At least we’re not related,” Neil grinned, jostling Andrew’s shoulder. “You can’t talk: you’re Aaron’s twin.”

Andrew just pointed a stick at Neil in warning. 

*

The lights were flashing. Audience screaming. Neil opened his eyes out of his reverie and looked to his counterparts: Nicky was rushing up and down the front lines, giving out as many hugs as he could. Kevin was waving and blowing kisses. And Andrew - 

He stood behind his drumkit, shirtless and dripping with sweat. He still bore his armbands, brimming with blades and secrets, and in his hands he loosely held his favourite pair of drumsticks, a pair Betsy had bought him, one’s he’d been careful to not break. 

Neil’s mouth was dry as he walked over to where Andrew stood. A spotlight blazed from above, shrouding Andrew’s head and illuminating his hair like a golden halo. He looked angelic. He was angelic. 

“You were amazing,” Neil said, voice lost under the cacophony of the crowd. His hand was reached out, gently brushing the bare skin of Andrew’s bicep. He didn’t know what he was doing anymore: the post-show euphoria was driving him. 

Andrew didn’t need to hear him. He could read lips. Read intentions. 

They were ushered off the stage soon after, Neil’s ears still ringing, his fingertips still burning. Andrew tugged on a fresh shirt, a towel around his neck. He had the most laborious job out of all of them, save maybe Kevin. Neil looked away from the way his hair curled at the nape of his neck. 

“Good show,” Kevin panted, sweat sticking his hair to his forehead. Neil nodded, the exhaustion of playing for four hours settling in. His shoulders ached, fingertips raw with playing both his guitar and the keyboard (Neil filled Aaron’s vacancy when he’d fucked off to college) whilst his throat ached from countless harmonies and backups he sung for Kevin. 

Genuine praise from Kevin was rare and prized for their band, and was usually reserved to the few moments after a performance finished. Then he’d go back to his regularly scheduled criticisms and evaluations. 

“Wasn’t it?” Nicky grinned. “We are such hot shit sometimes! Anyway,” he slung his guitar off to the side, careless. Neil winced a little. “I’ve got a cutie waiting in my car, apparently.” He winked. “His name’s Erik and he’s built like a wall. I’ll see y’all tomorrow!” 

“Jesus Christ,” Kevin said, not unkindly. They were all used to Nicky’s antics by now. He looked back to Neil. “You gonna stay with Andrew or me?”

Neil narrowed his eyes. Was he going to stay with his brother or his best friend? The choice wasn’t exactly hard to make. 

Kevin put up his hands. “What? I thought you two’d had a lover’s spat or something, before the show.”

“Kevin,” Andrew warned, voice low. 

“You guys weren’t as synthesised as you usually are,” Kevin continued. “Did Neil say something, again? Neil, what did you do?”

“Kevin,” Andrew snapped. 

The man took his final warning with a grain of salt and rolled his eyes, peeling off to cool down and head back to the hotel. He left Neil standing in the middle of the corridor, baffled. What the fuck was he talking about? A lover’s spat?

“Don’t think too hard, junkie,” Andrew muttered, fingers hooked into the collar of Neil’s shirt. “He’s just sprouting his usual bullshit.” But Andrew couldn’t look him in the eyes. 

“Right,” Neil agreed, smiling weakly. “You’re right. Sorry.”

“Shut up,” Andrew tugged him down the corridor with a finger hooked through Neil’s belt loop. 

Neil went willingly. He always went willingly with Andrew. There was no one else in the world that he trusted more.

*

“What do you mean, you’re not a thing?”

Neil paused with his fingertips up to the door, ready to push it open. It seemed as though he had stumbled upon a conversation - perhaps not for Neil’s ears. 

“He’s not interested,” Andrew said, sounding exhausted. “And I’m not about to pressure him into something he doesn’t want.”

Huh. Maybe they were talking about a new guy. Andrew didn’t date that often - or very successfully - and he was usually not willing to talk to Neil about it whenever it did happen. Neil wasn’t quite sure why but respected his boundaries nevertheless. He just didn’t know that Andrew went to Kevin about it. 

Neil wondered who it was, this time. Roland? He’d been the most long-term thing Andrew had ever attempted. No, Andrew said he wasn’t interested in Roland. Unless he was lying. 

Andrew doesn’t lie to me, Neil reminded himself. 

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Kevin insisted. “He’s been in love with you ever since he first saw you. Don’t give me that look, Andrew. Put away your knives.”

“Do you think so?” Andrew asked, voice low. Gravelly. Tainted by disbelief.

Something in Neil’s chest tightened. He sounded…hopeful. Neil was arbitrarily jealous. Who was this guy? 

Wait, why was Neil jealous?

He pushed against the door, ignoring the way that the two of them shifted so that it didn’t look like they were engaged in conversation. 

“We’re loading up the bus,” he supplied. “Time to get moving.”

And if Neil noticed the way that Andrew walked around him, careful not to brush their knuckles, well. 

He didn’t say anything. 

*

By the end of the third week, Neil couldn’t handle it anymore. He wasn’t sure what he’d done, or why Andrew was so adamant in avoiding him, but he hated it. He hadn’t felt this isolated since his early years when his father would shut him in a wardrobe and his mother would scold him for eliciting his father’s ire, before both of his parents died and Wymack adopted him into his strange little family, brought him into the tiny cul de sac  where Betsy Dobson and Abby Winfield lived with their own collections of abandoned kids. 

“Andrew,” he mumbled as he watched Andrew tuck himself into his own bed. They were sleeping in the same hotel room but they were millions of miles away from each other. Neil felt stiff and confused. 

Resigned, he shut the light off. 

*

“Fix it,” Kevin demanded. 

“Fix what?”

“Just tell him already. It’s getting nauseating.” 

Neil narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck are you talking about?”

Kevin threw Neil’s lyric notepad back at him. “‘Living limbless, lost, lonely, ever since you went and left me’? What do you mean, what am I talking about? I thought you two were already together - now he’s saying you were never interested? What the fuck, Neil. You’ve been practically married for years.” 

Neil blinked. “Me and -”

“Andrew, yes, who else?” Kevin continued, irritable as he scrawled down new ideas. “You’re so fucking dense sometimes - ow!” 

Neil stuck out his tongue, satisfied with the large black line his thrown pen had left behind. He fished out another pen from his bag and kept writing, letting Kevin’s banter distract him from how painful his chest felt. 

*

The tour was ending. They were looping back to South Carolina. Andrew hardly looked at him anymore, let alone spoke to him. Kevin looked at Neil with pity. Nicky tried to cheer everyone up with icecream. 

Neil couldn’t understand why they were falling apart. What had he done? What had he said? 

The screams irked him. They sounded less ecstatic and more afraid. Neil was falling apart onstage, overthinking. They’d just played for Charleston, one of their last stops on the tour. 

The curtains came down. Neil couldn’t move. The others were already off the stage. Neil couldn’t breathe. 

“Neil,” Andrew said. He couldn’t look Andrew in the eye. How was he to explain that Andrew’s estrangement had left him in such a miserable state that he could hardly perform without breaking down? 

“Neil, look at me.” 

Neil closed his eyes. “Whatever I did - I’m sorr -” 

“Abram,” Andrew whispered, before pressing a bruising kiss to Neil’s lips. His eyes flew open, though he didn’t move. It didn’t matter: Not a moment later, Andrew ricocheted back, hand over his own mouth. In his other hand, his favourite drumsticks snapped, falling to the floor in uneven halves. 

By the time Neil had opened his mouth, Andrew was gone. 

Neil spent the drive to the pub they’d chosen to ride out their performance high in silence. Andrew was stoic and unmoving, silent despite Nicky’s attempts at conversation. When they arrived, Neil felt like he wanted to throw up. 

It was bustling at the late hour, but dark enough to slip in unnoticed. Neil followed Andrew up to the bar: at one point, someone shoved into Andrew and Neil felt him press Neil against the marble top, warm from shoulder to shin. Neil wanted to lean back into him. He wanted Andrew to look at him, to talk to him. He wanted Andrew back. He wanted Andrew. 

Quickly, he turned around, ignoring the bar tender when he asked if he was sure he wanted a virgin martini. Andrew was right there, pupils blown, cheeks red. Angry. 

He was furious. 

“Andrew,” Neil insisted. “Why -” 

He grabbed the tray of drinks and disappeared before Neil could form a sentence. 

And - well. Neil wasn’t known for subordination. 

He waited patiently for the others to get drunk and disappear into the crowd, like they always did. Sometimes Nicky dragged Neil with him, if the night was right. Andrew usually just sat, patiently waiting for his family to return to him. His whiskey sips were cautious and slow. 

Tonight was different. As soon as they were alone, Andrew stood, knocked back the entire glass and strode towards the exit. Neil let his breath hitch and followed, almost jogging in order to keep up with Andrew’s stride. 

“Andrew, this is insane,” he said as they walked down the street, leaving the bar behind. “I’m losing my mind here. Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you even look at me? What did I do?” 

“Exist,” Andrew snarled, hands curled into fists and shoved into the pockets of his denim jacket. 

Neil ran ahead of him, almost tripping over the uneven sidewalk. They’d walked far enough that they seemed to have removed themselves from any remnants of the club, and instead were stood in front of a circular, patheon-esque church and its haphazard graveyard. 

Andrew stopped walking and stared. In the moonlight his skin was pale enough to be translucent. 

“Tell me,” Neil whispered. “Truth for truth. We promised, Andrew. To never lie, to never leave. Why did you kiss me?”

“You promised,” Andrew corrected him. “I swore I would have your back. Does that have to constitute being attached at the hip?” 

Neil crossed his arms, petulant. 

Andrew’s sigh was aggravated. “It was never meant to be a problem.”

“What was?”

“You.”

“Andrew -” 

Fingers curled in the collar of his shirt, then slipped across the warm skin at the nape of his neck, then tangled themselves into Neil’s hair. Andrew pulled their foreheads together, squeezing his eyes closed too tight. Neil wanted to iron out the crease between his brows. 

“‘Drew?”

“Shut up,” the man croaked. “Shut up. Shut up.”

“Andrew,” Neil said, weakly. “I wanted to kiss you.” 

Andrew’s nails dug into Neil’s scalp. “No you didn’t.”

“Yes,” his fingers carefully found their way onto Andrew’s jaw, forcing the man to look up at him. “I did.” 

Andrew just swallowed, red-cheeked. 

Neil pulled Andrew closer, head dropping to Andrew’s shoulder. His heart throbbed like a drumbeat, heavy and insistent and never, ever out of time. “Is that what this is about?”

“No,” Andrew lied. 

“I think I like you, ‘Drew,” Neil whispered into the skin of Andrew’s neck. “I think I really do.” 

“I hate you,” Andrew managed, sliding his hands around Neil’s waist and holding him close under the Charleston moonlight. “I hate you.” 

“I know,” Neil managed, closing his eyes. It made a lot more sense, now. 

Between their erratic breathing and racing pulses, a drumbeat formed. 

[citizensmth]

So... what comes next?

Regardless of your political allegiances or personal feelings about Donald Trump, it is a national security concern when the president is ill. To make matters worse, the White House isn’t exactly being transparent. At times they seem more concerned with projecting a certain image than providing a timely, precise assessment of the situation. It is also a significant national security threat when a huge chunk of the senior Executive Branch, unknown numbers of White House staff, and a growing cluster of US Congressman are under quarantine or sick. It’s never good to have a government in quarantine. 

So on that note, I’ve seen a lot of discussion on what happens in the event that a President or presidential candidate is incapacitated from COVID or dies during an election. I love a good thought experiment so let’s break this down. This is all based on my best understanding of current rules/regulations/precedence/ect. I try my best to be accurate but I’m only human and not a lawyer. Opinions and speculations are strictly my own. 

Scenario 1: President is alive but incapacitated or unable to continue serving as President until he recovers.

So the basic idea of having a VP as a spare in case the president dies is pretty simple. In practice however, the transfer of power in the original constitution is pretty vague outside of the president suddenly dropping dead in the middle of a term. The 25th amendment was adopted a few years after the Kennedy assassination to address some of these grey areas. Fun fact, the 25th amendment contains the only means of forcefully removing a president from office other than impeachment (section 4 of the 25th amendment).

Ok, so back to our scenario. If Trump is incapacitated (say, on a ventilator) or is too unwell to continue serving, the 25th amendment can be invoked to temporarily transfer power to Vice President Pence. This can be done 2 ways. First, Trump can declare in writing that he is unable to discharge his duties (section 3, 25th amendment) and transfer power temporarily to Pence. Presidents actually invoke section 3 pretty routinely if they know they will be unavailable for a time such as undergoing a medical procedure. Trump remains in office as president but Pence becomes ‘acting president’ for the time being. Second, the Cabinet can strip Trump of his power if they believe he is unfit but he refuses to turn over power to Pence (section 4, 25th amendment). Section 4 has never before been invoked but it exists as an option. 

In terms of the election, the ticket would be unchanged. A vote for Trump-Pence is still a vote for Trump-Pence. Trump is still president and Pence is only a temporary ‘acting president’. The assumption is that Trump would eventually resume his duties and his place at the top of the Republican ticket.

Scenario 2: A president running for re-election dies before the election

So if Trump dies before the election, Pence would immediately be sworn in as President. Since that would then make him the sitting president during an election year, precedence says he is automatically the GOP nominee. This close to the election, it is too late to officially withdraw a candidate and re-submit another one. Even if you could still replace a candidate, there isn’t time to re-print ballots. But since he was part of the original ticket on the ballot, I don’t see this being an issue or a source of confusion. I imagine votes already cast for Trump-Pence will simply count towards Pence alone. It is unclear how this will impact the electoral college. Likely, the votes will be allocated as normal to the Trump-Pence ticket, with Pence officially becoming President elect instead of Vice President elect once the vote is certified. The Speaker of the House is next in line should something happen to him while he does not have a VP. Assuming he wins, I speculate he would vet and select a VP for his administration before inauguration. But until there is a VP to serve under him, Speaker of the House remains next in line. A presidential candidate has never died so close to an election. 

Scenario 3: A presidential candidate dies before the election

If a candidate dies after the primary, I believe RNC and DNC rules state that the leadership meets to vote on a replacement. However, this close to an election, it  is past the deadline to officially withdraw a candidate from the ballot and re-submit another candidate. Even if that were not the case, it is too late to-reprint ballots. My best guess is that the VP pick would become the top of the ticket, similar to scenario 2. This seems like the easiest thing to do. It does not require withdrawing the ticket and it minimizes confusion at the polls. It is unclear if this would create headaches for the electoral collage. I imagine electoral college votes would likely go to a Biden-Harris ticket as normal with Harris officially becoming President elect instead of Vice President elect once the vote is certified. In Congress there is also the practice of ‘widow’s succession’ where a spouse steps up to fill the void left by a Congressman’s death until the next election or until a special election can be held. This practice was actually pretty common in the early 20th century. Senators can be replaced by a Governor’s appointment, a president can be replaced by a VP. But Congressmen, who serve short 2 year terms, have no replacement strategy so widows succession made some amount of sense to prevent political infighting and ensure a smooth transition after a death. I highly doubt widow’s succession will ever be invoked or even suggested if something happens to Biden, especially with such a capable VP pick ready and able to step up on the ticket. 

Scenario 4: A candidate dies after the election but before electoral college meets and the vote is certified

This scenario creates the most headaches. The rules are most murky during this scenario and things will likely get very, very messy. Elections are run by individual states and states have different rules impacting how electoral college votes must be allocated. At present, some states require that electors vote for the candidate that won the popular vote in that state. Some states don’t explicitly bind electors to the winner of the state popular vote but impose penalties on so called ‘faithless electors’. Some states have no laws on the books and voting for the winner of the state popular vote is merely precedence. In general faithless electors are not very common. There actually HAS been a candidate death between Election Day and the electoral college. In 1872, Democrat Horace Greeley (ran against President Grant) died before the electoral college met. 63 of his 66 electors voted for other people. Unfortunately, things are not as simple in 2020 as they were in 1872. There is a question about whether or not certain electors will be unbound if the candidates to which they are pledged dies before the collage meets. The courts will almost certainly have to get involved and possibly the House of Representatives. The 20th amendment of the Constitution mandates that a president MUST begin their term on January 20 and if the electoral collage remains inconclusive, the Constitution (via the 12th amendment I believe) leaves it up to the House of Representative to hold a contingent election and vote on a winner (I think the Senate votes on a VP). The House HAS previously decided an election. In 1824, neither John Quincy Adams nor Andrew Jackson secured a majority of the electoral college (there were 4 candidates that year). The matter went to the House which voted for Adams to become President. Should the election end up in the House of Representatives, the Democrats have the majority. Since someone MUST be seated as President on inauguration day (Jan 20), I am not 100% sure what happens if the election remains a total mess and the House is hopelessly deadlocked. I think under the 20th amendment, the Vice President elect becomes acting President until the matter is resolved. If there is no Vice President elect, then the Presidential Succession Act states the Speaker of the House becomes acting president. 

Scenario 5: President-elect dies before inauguration but after the election is certified. 

This one is actually pretty easy. In this scenario, the Vice President elect becomes the president elect and is sworn in on inauguration day. This is covered by the 20th amendment. 

Whew! Well, that was quite a thought experiment. If I write any more it will be the beginnings of a book. That ends my civics discussion for the day. 

[jacksonianlibertine]

thoughts on andrew jackson specifically on how hes remembered vs how he really was 🤔

Ah yes, one of those guys that no matter what you say or think, people are never going to completely agree with ya. Super complicated man. Oddly enough, his complexity is part of why he’s kept himself in the top of my interests. 

So, nowadays, he’s usually remembered as an insane genocidal maniac. Well, at least that’s the tone a lot of people give off anymore. I don’t think *everyone* views him in that black and white of terms, from what I can tell though. 

Jackson was a man of contradictions. He was a wild gentleman (my favorite way to refer to him). He had a rough time growing up and suffered MUCH loss in his life. He had a fiery and passionate attitude. We all know he fought many duels in his life. When he loved, OH BOY did he love. When he hated, OH BOY did he hate. He also had the ability to totally go off unhinged one moment and have perfect gentlemanly composure the next. 

He inspired a whole chunk of younger people. James K. Polk was HEAVILY influenced by him. Franklin Pierce was too. 

He was a horse of a different color as a politician. He wasn’t like the others before him. While he came into his own fortune and became a rich man himself, he still gave the regular working class white men hope. I get it though. A self-made man is much more appealing and something to aspire to than that of a man born into the elite class. 

But Kenny, The Indian Removal Act.

Yes, I was getting to that. Truly a huge, unsightly scar on our nation’s history. I remember when this was discussed in my college US history class, we did look at multiple angles, as our instructor preferred us to. He liked debate and hated the idea of telling us what to think. Love that style. Anyways, as we know, many natives died because of this Act. Was that the intention? Well, I feel like that is varied. Some people felt it would be better for the natives to have their own way out west, away from the white men. I’m sure some just didn’t give two shits about the natives and just wanted more land. Some people legitimately thought getting the natives away from the white man was BETTER or them. See, now we can look back and we see that it was not the best thing because of what happened. 

In fact, from what I can tell, Jackson himself at least gave off the image of this being the best bet for them. He felt if they stayed where they were, the white man surely would spell the end of them. To be brutally honest, they were fucked either way. Do I support the Indian Removal Act? No. Like I’ve said, it’s a giant, gross scar on our nation’s history. The attitude of the white man in the US and colonization in general was dooming them though. There’s really no good way to look at what happened or what could have happened to the Native Americans during this time. Even today, they get royally shat on. 

Jackson did, of course, right on fight against natives. He also fought alongside natives. He adopted one as a son that he cared for. Many other “war heroes” in our history slaughtered natives. Our nation’s history is full of sinners. Humans tend to be a nasty creatures. 

If I sound like I’m justifying things, I’m not. If anything, I’d prefer to be showing that I’m critical of stuff humans do in general. I am against the idea of elevating human beings to the level of saintly Gods. Yes, George Washington, John Adams, Alexander Hamilton, Abraham Lincoln, etc were all deeply faulted human beings that we should never look at with rose-tinted lenses. Can we appreciate things they did that we like? Yes. Can we point out their flaws? Yes, we should keep them in mind. Does this mean we can’t take inspiration from them? No, we can. If anything, we can learn from their faults and build on their strengths. 

That’s a lot of how I look at my favorite historical figures. Do I find a lot of “problematic” figures interesting? Yes. But pretty much every historical figure is problematic, if we want to be realistic. I also just have a tendency to be drawn to immensely complicated figures. 

Jackson certainly was a president to stop and invoke some sort of feeling in people. Good, bad, or somewhere in between, we all have some sort of feelings and thoughts on him. He did things I admire/agree with and he did things I detest/disagree with. Literally any historical figure I’ve ever been drawn to has. If I only had interest in those I completely match up with…. Well I would just never have interest in anyone.

He certainly left his mark. And honestly? I think that was one of his goals in life. Leave a mark on the world. Make some waves. Cause some change. Funny I mention change, since his last words involved telling everyone to be ready for the change. He knew society was changing. He may have been a hot-headed Western man who didn’t have *formal* education and probably suffered from lead poisoning that probably affected his mental state, but he was smart in some instances (well, I mean, duh, we’re all smart when it comes to something). And honestly, the way he was reminds me of many of the men I grew up around, which is probably another reason I’m drawn to him. That’s probably why I don’t understand why people seem afraid of him. Like, nah, I’ve been close to men like him since I was an infant. I mean, I’ve also faced the barrel of a gun, been shot, and lived. My scope of what I should be scared of is a bit different, perhaps. If Jackson was an earwig or a centipede, I’d then be afraid of him, to be honest.   

But yeah, Jackson was complicated as hell. People can disagree with me all they want, but it is my conclusion that the most realistic way to look at him is in various shades of gray. Though, I’m probably going to tell you that’s the way to look at any figure. Except James Buchanan.

Honestly, at the end of the day, we’re all gonna take our own view. Best we can do is look at the facts and context as much as humanly possible and go from there. Our own personal views are going to affect that as well. I don’t know if we’ll all ever fully agree on Jackson, and perhaps it’s best that way. As complicated as he was, I think it would be impossible anyways.

[nazariolahela]

Something Domestic: Chapter 17

A/N: Hey y'all! This story is told in first-person narrative, from Riley’s (MC) POV. There will likely be smidges of canon in this, but not too much. Thanks for reading, and please leave feedback, and/or if you would like to be tagged.

I just wanted to give a quick thanks to everyone who read this series. It was so much fun to write. Big thanks to everyone who gave feedback and bugged me about releasing new chapters on time. (Which I couldn’t seem to do towards the end. Haha sorry about that.) Anywho, I really appreciate everyone who took the time to read my writing. Y’all are amazing. 😘😘

Catch up here

Series Tags: @burnsoslow @aworldoffandoms @dcbbw @ladyangel70 @texaskitten30 @sunandlemons @jlynn12273 @indiacater @jared2612 @rainbowsinthestorm @drakesensworld @badchoicesposts @msjr0119 @katurrade @blackcoffee85 @cynicalworlds-blog @hopefulmoonobject @cmestrella @sugarandspice-milkandhoney @superharrietsuper @custaroonie @lady-calypso @ritachacha @olympianpantsuit @desiree-0816 @the-soot-sprite @kate-mckenzie @narrytheworld @octobereighth @lynne1993 @queen-anastasia-universe @loveellamae @sarzkh31​ @iaminlovewithtrr​ @queenjilian​

Synopsis: When Riley Brooks takes a new job as a nanny for the affluent Rhys family in New York’s Upper East Side, she assumes she’s just going to care for the children of the couple who hired her. But instead of just school pick-ups and afternoon snacks, she also finds herself spending time with Liam, the handsome divorced dad. Can Riley control her feelings for Liam while still performing the job she was hired for?

All characters are the property of Pixelberry Studios. Thanks for allowing me to borrow them.

Chapter Summary: Will Riley and Liam get their Happily Ever After?

Epilogue - Six Months Later

Hana and I stand in the living room of our old apartment, packing up the last of the boxes. It still hasn’t hit me yet that this will no longer be our home. We had some good memories here. I pick up a framed photo of us in the Hamptons the summer after we graduated college. It’s only from a few years ago, but I can’t believe how young we look.

Hana balances a box on her hip, peering over my shoulder at the photo. “Oh my gods, look at us.”

I turn around and hold it out to her. “Do you want it?”

She shakes her head. “You keep it. I already took the one from our vacation at the shore. I look better in that one anyway.”

“Yes you do,” I laugh and set the photo into a box and tape the lid shut. I stand up and take one last look around the apartment, making sure we didn’t forget anything. I smile to myself as I recall the last four years. I remember we had to sleep on an air mattress in the living room that first night because the moving truck wasn’t scheduled to show up with our furniture until the next morning. The washing machine on our floor broke a week after we moved in, so we had to wash all our clothes in the tub. There was also the time our upstairs neighbor tried to get us to have a threesome with him.

Hana glances out the window then turns back to me. “Your ride is here. If you want, I can take the keys down to the landlord.”

I unhook mine from my keyring and place it in her palm before wrapping her in a hug. I can’t stop the tears from escaping. “I’m going to miss you so much.”

She laughs through her own tears. “I’m only moving to the West Village. It’s literally a 30-minute drive. I promise we’ll get together once a week.” Her hand moves to my cheek to brush away my tears and the sunlight pouring in through the window catches the diamond of her wedding ring. Hana and Meghan got married last week in an intimate ceremony. The engagement was a short one and caught everyone by surprise, especially Hana’s parents. They were against it at first, but eventually came around and walked her down the aisle. I stood in as Hana’s Maid of Honor, with Meghan’s older brother serving as her Best Man.

“Promise you won’t turn into one of those married bitches who ditches her best friend for her wife?” I sniffle.

“As long as you don’t turn into one of those trophy girlfriends who ditches her best friend for her rich boyfriend.”

We laugh and share another hug before I grab my boxes and make my way downstairs. When I reach the sidewalk, I spot Liam leaning against the side of his car, looking mouthwatering in dark wash jeans and a white t-shirt. A sexy smirk spreads across his face. After the drama with Madeleine, Liam and I became official. He wanted to move me into his penthouse almost immediately, but I told him I had to wait for my lease to expire before we took that next step. Although to be honest, I’ve been spending nearly every night at his place.

He approaches me, taking the boxes from my hands and presses a searing kiss to my lips. “Got everything?” he asks as he moves to set the boxes in the trunk.

“Yep, Hana’s dropping the key off right now.”

He slings an arm around me and pulls me to him, kissing my forehead. Hana emerges a few minutes later, holding her own boxes. Liam walks over and takes the boxes from her as she and I share one last hug.

“What are you doing this weekend?” I ask her.

She beams. “Well, we’re meeting with the adoption agency for a home study. But I’ll call you next week. We can get lunch.”

My heart warms. Hana and Meghan applied to adopt a child a few months ago. I was over the moon when she shared the news. We all suspect the sudden engagement and marriage was a way to fast-track the adoption process.

A few moments later, Meghan’s car pulls up behind Liam’s. Hana and I say our goodbyes as Meghan grabs the boxes from Liam and puts them in the back seat of her car. Hana hugs Liam then climbs in the front seat. I make my way over to Meghan.

“Hey! I just want to say thank you for always being there for Hana. Even when I wasn’t. She’s very lucky to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one. But thank you. I know we’ve had our differences, but you mean a lot to her, and I want you and me to be friends.”

“I think we can do that,” I say before pulling her in for a hug. “Take care of my best friend, please.”

“I will.”

Meghan gives us a quick wave, then climbs into her car and pulls away from the curb. I wipe the tears from my face as Liam comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around me, and plants a kiss on the top of my head. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’m good. Ready to get out of here?”

“Ready when you are.” He opens my car door and holds it while I climb inside. He then jogs around the front to his side and slips in. He presses the push start button and the car roars to life. Shifting the car in gear, he pulls away from the curb and sets off down the street. I stare out the window and watch our old apartment building disappear. Liam reaches over and takes my hand, entwining our fingers, and presses a soft kiss to the back of it.

“Have you heard from Andrew lately?”

I dig through my purse with my free hand and fish out my cellphone. I open my messages and show him a photo of Andrew, Derek and Adam, and their new nanny Emily all lounging on the beach in Cabo. They all look so happy. Emily took over as Andrew’s live-in nanny a few months ago. I was the one who recommended her. She has a degree in early childhood development and she’s great at what she does. The best part was that she was more than willing to take the job. As much as I enjoyed working with Andrew and his dads, I just couldn’t commit to the live-in part. Thankfully, they were very understanding. They send me weekly updates, thanking me for bringing her into their lives. Although I will miss working with them, I know I made the right choice.

Liam glances at the photo and smiles. “I’ll take you to Cabo if you want. I’ll take you wherever you want to go. Just say the word.”

“You can start by taking me home. To our home.”

He nods and moves through traffic on the way to our home. I’m excited to see the kids. I ended up leaving the agency shortly after Liam and I got back together. It was hard at first, but I love that it gives me more time to spend with Charlotte and Philip. Now that Liam and I are a couple, we wanted to make sure the kids understood what was going on. After he gained sole custody, we sat down with them and explained our relationship. They were beyond elated to have me back. Philip immediately asked me if we could go to the park. Charlotte asked me if her daddy and I were getting married.

Liam pulls the car up to the building and parks it in the underground parking area. We grab the last of my stuff and make our way to the elevator. Once we’re inside, he gently takes the boxes from my arms and sets them on the floor. He then wraps his arms around me, gripping my ass, and pulls me to his body. Our lips meet in a passionate kiss. His lips trail down my neck and shoulder, sending chills throughout my body. I fist his t-shirt, feeling him grow hard against me. This elevator better hurry the fuck up so I can officially fuck him in our apartment.

When we reach the top floor, the doors glide open and two high-pitched voices break us apart.

“DADDY! RILEY!” Charlotte and Philip shout in unison as they greet us in the foyer. Belinda waves goodbye as she slips out. Liam decided to keep Belinda on as a part-time nanny. Meaning she only watches the kids when needed. Charlotte’s arms wrap around my leg. I pick her up and hug her.

“Riley! Can we go play with my new dollhouse?”

“Later, sweetie. I need to finish unpacking. Why don’t you go wash up? It’s getting close to dinner time,” I tell her, pressing a kiss to her rosy cheek. Philip runs up to me and hands me a picture he drew. I examine the artwork. Stick figure Liam and I are holding hands with stick figure Charlotte and Philip on either side of us. I smile and make my way into the kitchen, attaching it to the fridge. Liam comes up behind me, wrapping his arms around my stomach, and nuzzles my neck.

“Look at my little van Gogh. Let’s take your stuff up to our room. Then we can order something to eat. And later, I can eat you.”

My cheeks flame. Thankfully the kids aren’t within earshot. Moments later they come bursting into the room. He smirks and disappears up the stairs. I call out to Philip and Charlotte. “Hey, guys! Dinner will be here soon. Let’s go get washed up.”

A little while later, the food arrives and we sit down to eat. I glance around the table and observe. This whole thing feels right. I have a perfect man sitting next to me, two amazing kids that love me and I love like they were my own. I also have wonderful friends who care about me. I have the urge to pinch myself because none of this feels real. Liam looks over at me and gives me a warm smile that sends the butterflies in my stomach aflutter.

Later that evening as we’re putting the kids to bed, Charlotte grabs my hand.

“Riley? Are you going to live with us forever?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I catch Liam smirk. I crouch down and brush her hair out of her face. “I hope so, sweetie. I love living with you and Philip. And your daddy, of course.”

She nods, her eyelids growing heavy. “Good. You should stay here.”

I lean in and kiss her forehead, then make my way to Philip’s room. He is sitting on his bed, holding his favorite bedtime story. “Riley? Will you read me a story?”

I glance at Liam standing in the doorway, then turn back to him. “Isn’t that your daddy’s job?”

“I want you to do it.”

I chuckle and sit down at the foot of his bed, taking the book from him. He curls under the covers and waves his father over. Liam sits cross-legged on the floor next to his bed as I read to Philip from his favorite book. Within a few minutes, he’s out like a light. Liam smiles and takes the book from my hand, placing it in the bookshelf. He grabs my hand and guides me down the hall to our room. I swing open the door and notice the dim glow of candles and rose petals scattered all over the bedroom. So that’s where he disappeared to before dinner. My eyes widen in shock.

“Liam? What is all this?”

I turn around just as he drops down to one knee, pulling a velvet box from his pocket. His blue eyes glow in the candlelight.

“Riley Brooks, queen of my heart. Ever since the day I met you, you’ve changed my whole world. Every day with you these last six months feels like a dream that I don’t want to wake up from. You’ve embraced my kids and love them as if you gave birth to them. You stayed patient with me through all my ex-wife drama. And even when I put you through hell, you could have told me to fuck off and never talked to me again. But you didn’t. All I want in this world is to dedicate my life to being the best man that I can be… for you. I have yearned to say these four words for a very long time… Will you marry me?”

He opens the box and reveals the most stunning emerald-cut solitaire engagement ring. This bad-boy has to be at least 10 carats. I don’t even want to know what he spent on it.

“Ohmygods, Liam!” I choke out through my tears. “Yes! A thousand times yes!”

He grins from ear to ear and slips the ring from its box, then onto my finger. He rises to his feet and cups my face in both hands, his blue eyes staring directly into mine. “I love you, Riley.”

“I love you, too.”

He brushes his lips to mine in a tender kiss that quickly grows intense. He presses my body to his, and I wrap my legs around his waist. He carries me over to the bed and places me on the mattress, trailing his lips down my neck and across my collarbone. His hands go to work slipping off my shirt and bra.

“You won’t be needing these for what I’m about to do to you.”

Oh wow. A chill runs through my body, one he notices. He grins and trails hot kisses down my chest, taking one of my nipples in his mouth and gently tugs it in his teeth. The sensation shoots straight to my core and I let a soft moan slip from my lips. He begins to make his way down my stomach when I stop him.

“Wait!”

He looks up at me. “What’s wrong?”

I sit up and roll us over until I’m on top, straddling him. His eyes widen as I lean in and begin kissing my way down his chest. I don’t break eye contact as I slowly unbuckle and unzip his pants. His chest rises and falls in rapid succession.

“Riley, you don’t have to do this.”

I reach up and place a finger on his lips as I kiss a trail down his stomach until I reach the waistband of his boxer briefs. “Shh...Let me do this for you.”

I pull his underwear down and his cock springs free. I circle my tongue along the tip and pump it twice before wrapping my lips around him. His hands reach down to tangle his fingers in my hair, tugging it slightly. I take this cue to flatten my tongue and run it along the underside of his dick. I look up and see his eyes rolling in the back of his skull. I grin as I continue pumping and sucking, bobbing my head up and down.

His voice comes out as a harsh, husky whisper. “Riley, baby. I’m not going to last much longer.”

I quicken my pace, switching from long slow pumps to short fast ones. He grips my hair tighter and guides my rhythm, fucking my mouth. The tip of his cock hits the back of my throat, and I moan, causing him to moan in response.

“Riley… baby. Fuck… I’m gonna... come.”

I suck in my cheeks and pump harder and soon after he spills down my throat. I swallow and lap up his hot cum. He pulls me up his body, breathing hard, and presses a deep kiss to my lips.

“Holy shit. Would it be too much to ask for you to do that every night?”

I laugh. “Only for you, baby.”

He rolls us over and settles on top of me, fitting his long body between my thighs. “You couldn’t be more perfect if you tried. I love you. And I want to spend every day for the rest of my life showing you how much I love you. I know I already asked you this, but will you marry me?”

I smile and run my fingers through his hair pulling him closer to me. “Yes.”

[abschaumno1]

AbschaumNo1′s Big Catchup Post of All the Fic You Missed

Okay so since I am back on my old bs apparently (for however long it lasts) and I just realised that I haven’t posted links to my fic since the beginning of 2017, I thought I’d do a bit of a roundup of all the fics I posted since then.

There are 59 of them since New Year’s 2016/17 (and no I don’t know who let me do that either), sorted here by fandom and then grouped together by series or pairing. Fic titles link to the fic on AO3.

Assassin’s Creed

Malik Al-Sayf/Altaïr Ibn La’Ahad

All That Still Needed To Be Said 

Altaïr and Malik had a system.

Football RPF

Jakub Błaszczykowski/Łukasz Piszczek

You’re Driving Home For Christmas

Lukasz and Kuba celebrate Christmas together

Hermitcraft RPF

Hermitcraft Fantasy AU

Meetings (Gen)

Doc found the man in a tavern

An Unexpected Journey (Tangpulse, Minor and Background Relationships) WIP (Chapter 10/? posted as of the making of this post)

Xisuma sends Tango to talk to a potential new Hermit. Neither of them expects the journey that follows.

Home Is Where You Are (Tangpulse)

Tango and Doc are late to return home from their trip to the city. Tango just hopes he won't miss his and Impulse's anniversary completely.

Natural Phenomena

Meadows of Heaven (Scarian)

Grian and Scar get stuck in the rain on a resource gathering trip.

The Oncoming Storm (Gridoc)

Doc and Grian watch a storm coming in.

Let The Rain Come Down (Xisuma & Evil Xisuma)

Evil X discovers rain.

Finding Home (Zedaph/Tango/Impulse)

In the beginning all was chaos. But then the worlds were built.

Gridoc

Realisations

Five times Hermits see Doc and Grian together and have to realise that they may have gotten some false impressions.

Now The Armour’s Wearing Thin (3/3 Chapters)

Grian wasn't initially worried when Doc started to work on Area 77, but after he wakes him from a nightmare he starts to think that he should maybe figure out what's going on.

Keralis/Bdubs

Campfire Nights

In which Bdubs and Keralis are close and Bdubs is clueless until he's not. Neither of those make talking to Keralis about it any easier.

Zedaph/Tango/Impulse

The Bunny Slippers

The bunny slippers were supposed to be a joke gift. Little did Impulse and Zedaph know how much Tango would actually love them. 

Hockey RPF

Back to You (Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw)

Your Love Will Take Me Home (5/5 chapters)

Andrew doesn’t usually go for team mates. But Seabs… Seabs is hot and Andrew will be damned if he’s not everything he’s looking for in a guy. And it’s just flirting, it’s not like there’s anything more going on between them. Or is there?

You’ve Got To Give Him Some Faith - Hold Him Tight

Andrew comforts Brent after the Hawks lose against the Stars.

Brothers Under the Sun (Brandon Bollig & Andrew Shaw)

A story in five joke mugs (and one non-joke mug)

A Night to Remember

Andrew surprises Brent for his thousandth NHL game

Together - A Family

It's Brent's birthday.

Le Ciel À l’Infini Embrasse l’Univers

Andrew and Brent take Pricey up on his offer to visit.

You Know I’ll Be There

‘When did we adopt Lehky?’ Brent texts Andrew as soon as he sees the photo.

You Can Depend on Me

Andrew seeing his family when the Habs play in Chicago

I’ll Fly Like An Eagle (Jesperi Kotkaniemi/Victor Mete)

Jesperi has a problem, Andrew has advice, and Victor has no clue (until he has)

Someday I’ll Be Where You Are

Three years after being traded to Montreal, Andrew is traded once again. This time he gets to go back home to his family.

You Were There When I Needed You

They tell the kids on Boxing Day

Skate Date Verse (Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw)

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing

‘I slept with Shawzy’ is all Seabs' text says, and… okay that’s not quite what Duncs expected. ‘Good for you’ he texts back, because well, what’s he supposed to say to that? ‘No. I SLEPT with Shawzy’

Your Best Shot

Andy and Brent spend their date night at Top Golf. It gets a little derailed.

The Hawks Cuddle Collection (Gen)

Tonight We Are Victorious

The Hawks cuddling after the win in Florida on November 24th 2018.

A Warm Welcome

Dylan has his first practice in Chicago. But the real cool stuff happens away from the ice.

A Welcome Surprise

Collin hadn't expected the cuddle piles.

Alex Debrincat/Dylan Strome

Not Your Fault

After the game Alex lets Dylan stew.

Brent Seabrook/Andrew Shaw

The Beginning of Forever

Andrew Shaw moves in with Brent Seabrook, falls in love, and accidentally marries him. Not in that order.

Brent Seabrook has a bunch of idiot friends, a husband he married accidentally, and three kids to worry about. Or maybe things are easier than he thinks.

Either way they're stuck together, so they better make it work.

Let’s Take On The World Together

The first Andrew sees of Brent Seabrook is a glimpse of broad shoulders and a sweaty face with a beard. Luckily it's not the last he sees of him.

Take A Chance On Me

It took Andrew all of five minutes while walking from his first lecture to where he was meeting Saader to dig up everything he could find on Brent.

In which Brent is a TA for one of Andrew's courses and they fall in love.

Brent Seabrook/Jeremy Colliton

We’re Breaking All The Rules

Brent and Jeremy have an arrangement. Then Duncs finds out

Carey Price/P.K. Subban

A Bigger Heart I Have Never Seen

No one does Christmas quite like P.K. does

Connor McDavid/Dylan Strome

Christmas Cuddles

Connor and Dylan don't get much time together over Christmas but there's always time for cuddles.

Corey Crawford/Trevor van Riemsdyk

Second Chances

As nice as it is to have so many Ex-Hawks around he already knows, Trevor can’t help but think that it would be easier if he didn’t have the constant reminder of what he doesn’t have anymore.

Duncan Keith/Brent Seabrook

Second Chances

What Dylan and Alex didn't expect when they introduced their dads to each other was that they already knew each other.

What neither Brent, not Duncan expected was to find out that things in their lives might have gone differently.

Duncan Keith/Jeremy Colliton

Let Me Take Care Of You

Jeremy figures out quickly that Duncs does a lot to take care of his teammates. It takes him a bit longer to figure out that Duncs needs to be taken care of, too.

Kyle Dubas/William Nylander

A Deadline Is Not The End At All

William Nylander was without a doubt the worst student Kyle had ever had.

In which Kyle supervises Willy's thesis, Willy doesn't actually show his work before the deadline, and feelings develop.

Leon Draisaitl/Connor McDavid

“Let’s Go”

After Game 5 against the Ducks

One Out Of 80 Million

Connor goes to Germany with his friends, gets lost and finds a handsome stranger

A Boy Worth Fighting For

There's three sensible survival instincts: to flee, to play dead, and to fight. Connor needs three tries to find the right one.

Let Me Worry

Connor denies that his ankle hurts

I Sang About You The Whole Time

There’s a playlist Leon has that he kind of hopes no one will ever find out about.

You Should Come Up For Coffee

Connor asks Leon to come along to dinner with Alex and Dylan. Realisations are had.

The End of Summer

Shocked But Fighting

Connor goes down with a knee injury.

Set during/after the game in Calgary on 7th April 2019

Leon Draisaitl/Milan Lucic/Connor McDavid

Let’s Start A New Tradition

There were lots of things Milan expected when he came to Edmonton. This was not one of them.

Acting Tough

Leon's a little fidgety, playing with the strings of Connor's hoodie, and his voice is soft when he says, "So I think I'll tell my family." "Yeah?" Milan asks. "Yeah."

Michael Latta/Tom Wilson

Christmas Morning

Christmas is not the same without Latts.

Patrick Kane/Jonathan Toews

Gift wrapping and a nutcracker

Patrick’s first reaction to the video of the gift wrapping competition is to laugh.  

Saving You, Saving the World

It's the day before Christmas and Patrick gets to save Jonny's ass from a nefarious kidnapping plot. Again. He doesn't know what he did to deserve this.

Le Moose-bouche

Jonny quits hockey, becomes a chef and moves to Paris. Patrick is with him every step of the way.

(Spin off of Let's Take On The World Together but can be read as a standalone.)

Les Misérables

Enjolras/Grantaire

Feast of Love

Grantaire had thought Enjolras would be a grinch, but he's everything but.

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Bruce Banner & Clint Barton

Stages of Grief

When they find Clint he is changed.

Bucky/Steve

A White Christmas

Steve gets Bucky back. A story in three Christmases.

A Hundred Years in the Making

Five times Steve only draws others + 1 time he includes himself.

The Raven Cycle

Ronan Lynch/Adam Parrish

What To Gift A Dreamer

Adam wonders what to get Ronan for Christmas

[dukereviewstv]

Duke Reviews Tv: Smallville 1x14 Zero

Hi Everyone, I'm Andrew Leduc And Welcome To Duke Reviews TV, Where We Continue Our Look At Smallville By Talking About Episode 14 Of Season 1, Zero...

This Episode Sees Lex's Past Coming Back To Haunt Him, When Jude Royce, A Man Presumed Dead, Resurfaces After 3 Years To Ruin Everything Lex Has Worked For As Of Late Before Capturing Lex, So He Can Get The Truth About What Really Happened At Club Zero. Will Clark Save Lex Before Royce Kills Him?

Let's Find Out As We Watch Zero...

The Episode Starts With Lex Inside Of The Upside Down...

Oh, I'm Sorry I Read My Script Wrong, I Meant Lex Is Inside Of A Building Where He's Hanging Upside Down In A Straitjacket, My Mistake...

Kidnapped By Some Guy, To Which Lex To Ask...

Only For The Guy To Tell Lex That He Wants The Truth Which Leads Us To Flashback To 3 Years Ago In Metropolis...

(Start At 0:37, End At 3:26)

Calling Lex A Liar, The Man Knows That Despite What The Papers Said That That's Not Really Happened And He Knows That Lex Covered It Up And He's Going To Going To Make Him Pay As It's Revealed That The Man Is Jude Royce, The Man That Kasich Apparently Shot...

Rewinding To One Week Earlier, We Cut To Smallville High As Clark, Chloe And Pete Have An English Assignment To Write A Six Page Biography On One Of The Students Of The Class, With Pete Being Assigned To Stan Gibson, The Manager Of The Student Store, Clark Being Assigned To Lana And Chloe Being Assigned To Clark...

Yeah, Settling In, Folks We're In For One Of Those Chloe Being Too Nosy For Her Own Damn Good Episodes...

On His Way To Meet Lana At The Talon, Chloe Asks Clark When They Can Sit Down And Talk Which Leads Clark To Tell Her That They Will, Eventually...

And By Eventually, Clark Means When Pigs Fly, Yeah, Sorry There Chloe But, You're Going To Fail The Assignment...

Meanwhile At The Talon, Lana Gets Into An Argument With The Contractor At The Talon Over Plumbing When...Oh, Hey Jude...

Oh, Come On, I Had To Make A Hey Jude Reference, It Was Just Too Easy...

Anyway, Jude Drops By The Talon, To Get An Application For The Assistant Manager Position Where He Warns Lana To Stay Away From Lex Because Everything Lex Touches Always Ends Badly...

Arriving At The Talon, Lex Is Met By Kasich, Who Lex Is Not Happy To See As After That Night At Club Zero They Decided To Never Talk With Each Other Again, So, Instead Of Wasting Time Kasich Gets Down To The Point By Telling Lex That He Saw Jude...

Knowing That To Be Impossible, Kasich Tells Lex That That He's Not Crazy And Whoever This Person He's Been Following Him Everywhere. Asking What This Man Wanted Kasich Tells That This Man Is Seeking The Truth...

With Clark Walking Towards Them, Lex Gives Kasich The Key To A Secure Apartment In Metropolis And Tells Kasich To Stay There Until He Can Call Him, Nodding His Head, Kasich Leaves As Lex Enters The Talon With Clark...

(Start At 2:36, End At 3:23)

Following Lex Outside, Clark Asks Lex Who Jude Royce Is? But Lex Doesn't Seem Worried Saying Whomever Lana Met It Wasn't Jude Royce But Turning On His Car Loud Music, With The Words Murderer Being Heard Over And Over Again Play In Lex's Car...

Clark Is Like...

Using His X-Ray Vision, Clark That Lex's Radio Has Been Hotwired To Play A CD On A CD Player That's Underneath The Dashboard...

Ripping The CD Player Out, Clark Questions Lex Again Only For Him To Tell Clark That It's None Of His Business...

Returning Home After What Just Happened, Clark Finds Chloe Interviewing His Parents Who Find Chloe's Questions To Be (Sounding Like Arte Johnson) Very Interesting But Stupid...

Running Out Of Tape, Chloe Leaves So Jonathan And Martha Can Talk To Clark About The Assignment, Saying That They Don't Mind Answering Questions About Clark But Questions About Clark's Adoption Are Going To Be A Little Difficult To Answer...

With Chloe Returning, She Has Enough Tape To Question Clark Too But He's On Way To Work On His Paper With Lana Which Gives Chloe The Idea That Clark Is Avoiding Her But Telling Her That Tomorrow They Will Work On It Together, Chloe Drops The Subject...

Going To The Talon To Work On Their Paper, Clark And Lana See Lex Pull Up In His Car, Saying That The Contractor Called Him And Said That He Wanted To Meet Him At The Talon To Give Him An Estimate...

But When The Three Of Them Go Inside, They Find The Contractor On The Ground As He Tells Them That Some Guy Jumped Him When He Entered The Back Door And Forced Him To Let Him In

(Start At 1:03, End At 1:56)

Looking At The Hand, Lex Knows That Kasich Is Dead..

With Lana Having Second Thoughts About Being Involved With Lex, Clark Asks Lex About Max Kasich, To Which Lex Tells Clark The Truth That He Was Someone He Knew Years Ago In Metropolis And He Has No Clue How This Happened. Bringing Up Jude Royce Again, Lex Tells Clark That It's Impossible As Jude Royce Died 3 Years Ago...

The Next Day At School At The Torch While Clark Is Trying To Get Information About The Death Of Jude Royce, Chloe Tells Clark That While He Was Ducking Her, She Discovered That Clark's Adoption Was Handled Through Metropolis United Charities, And That Clark's Adoption Was The Only One They Handled Since They Were Only In Buisiness For Six Months...

Furious That Chloe Is Prying Into His Private Life, Clark Exits..

Talking With The Head Of Security At The Mansion, Mr. Raines At The Mansion Gym, He Tells Lex That Kasich Never Made It To The Apartment In Metropolis And That He Has Not Yet Tracked Down Amanda Rothman...

This Leads To A Flashback To What Happened After Jude Was Killed As We See Someone Who We Never That We Would See Again, Sam Phelan (The Dirty Metropolis Detective That Discovered Clark's Secret And Decided To Blackmail Him With It So He Could Get Phelan Some Papers From Internal Affairs)...

(Start At 1:08, End At 2:23)

Returning To The Present, Lex Gets A Gun In His Head Which Forces Him To Turn Around To See Jude Who Tells Lex That He Wants To Know What Happened That Night At Club Zero And Not Just The Cock And Bull Cover Story...

But As Jude Talks With Lex, Clark Arrives And Hears Jude Talking With Lex Which Forces Clark To Bust In Which Scares Jude Off...

Telling Lex About What He Discovered About Max Kasich, Lex Tells Clark For The Good Of Their Friendship To Not Look Into This Any Further. Returning To The Kent Farm To Do His Chores, Clark Talks With Jonathan About Lana Still Opening The Talon Despite The Body Part Incident, Lex, And Metropolis United Charities...

(Start At 1:01, End At 2:00)

Discovering That Their Livestock Were Poisoned By Luthorcorp Barrels That Somehow Got There, Lex Apologizes For What Happened And Offers To Pay For The Livestock But Jonathan Is Not In A Good Mood And Refuses Lex's Offer...

Telling Clark He Has No Idea How This Happened He Asks Lex If This Has To Do With Club Zero? And With Lex Believing That It Might, Clark Tells Lex To Come Forward And Tell Everything That Happened Before It's Too Late...

With The CEP Rep, Wanting To Talk To Lex He Goes Over To Talk With Him Only To Discover That It's Jude Who Tazers Lex Into A Car And Drives Off With Him...

Calling Everywhere, Clark Cannot Find Lex Anywhere, Which Leads Clark To Tell Martha What He Discovered, With Clark Defending His Friend, Martha Defends Lex Too But With Shady Things In Lex's Past Popping Up, Martha Thinks That Clark Should Take A Break From Lex As She Doesn't Clark To End Up In Trouble Like Him...

Going In The Barn, Chloe Apologizes For Diving Into The Adoption Agency Thing And Has Drop The Whole Thing In The Name Of Their Friendship, Handing Clark Pictures She Took For Insurance Purposes Chloe Leaves But Before She Does Clark Notices A Picture Of The CEP Guy Who Looks Like Jude Royce...

(Start At 0:51, End At 0:53)

Back Where We Started With Lex Hanging Upside Down In A Straitjacket, He Attempts To Get Out Of It While Calling For Help...

Hacking Into The DMV, Chloe Gets The Address Of Our CEP Guy Named John Smith...

What? Is His Middle Name Hannibal?

Clark Tells Her To Call The Police And Have Them Go To That Address...

Arriving There, Clark Discovers That Metropolis PD Is Already On The Scene As They Discovered Max Kasich's Body, Asking A Policeman Where Club Zero Is Despite Being Six Years Too Late, The Policeman Tells Clark That It's A Wherehouse On 78th And Main...

Now REALLY Back Where We Started With Jude About To Shoot Lex, We Hear A Gunshot Only To Discover That Someone Has Killed Jude For The Second Time And It Turns Out That It Was The Contractor Of The Talon Who Is Actually The Real Mastermind Behind Everything...

Shooting Lex Down, The Contractor Tells Lex Who He Really Is...

(Start At 0:18, End At 3:35)

With The Talon Opening On Schedule, It Seems To Be A Hit As Lana Goes Over To Talk With Clark Who Has A Present For Her, A Picture Of The Talon That His Grandfather Took Years Ago...

Talking With Lex, He Has A Feeling That Clark Is Avoiding Him, Denying This, He Just Tells Lex That There's Just A lot that He Doesn't Know About Him Which Leads Lex To Tell Clark Why He Did What He Did At Club Zero...

(Start At 1:34, End At 1:54)

Meanwhile At The Torch, Chloe Is About To Delete The Information She Discovered About Clark Only To Change Her Mind At The Last Second, Ending Our Episode...

And That's Zero And It's Okay....

While Not One Of My Favorite Episodes, It Did Give Us Insight On What "The Greatest Criminal Mind The World Has Ever Known" Did To Land Himself In Smallville And It Was A Good Episode While The Story Was Okay The Characters Were Well Written So, For This One I See It...

Till Next Time, This Is Duke, Signing Off...

[hypatia-s]

Zagene headcannon #1

I went way, way, waaaayyyy overboard. I’m sorry. This was supposed to be short and sweet and became a monster that wouldn’t let me go.

Zach started working at Buzzfeed.

Keith met Zach. It was love at first sight. Keith adopted him on the spot. (So did Becky, once she was introduced to him)

When Ned was pitching the idea of the ‘Try Guys’, knowing that he wanted both Keith and Eugene in the boat, they were left asking who could fill in for a fourth member, to compensate for all of their over-the-top personalities.

Keith suggested Zach. Zach didn’t even have the option of refusing. He used the sad muppet face. Zach is weak for the sad muppet face.

Ned met Zach. It was love at first sight. Ned adopted him on the spot. (So did Ariel, once she was introduced to him)

Eugene met Zach. It wasn’t love at first sight (though no fault of Zach’s - Eugene didn’t like most people). He mostly thought that no one was so much of a cinnamon roll in real life. Also, he was pretty sure that Zach was the most harmless person he’s ever met.

Then, Eugene got to know Zach, actually know him, and discovered that he was wrong about all of his initial preconceptions of Zach. So fucking wrong. He has a long list compiling the many reasons explaining how wrong he was, but, for summarizing purposes, he mostly groups them into six categories.

First, Zach was actually a precious cinnamon roll and too pure for this world. Didn’t have a mean bone in his tiny body, and even when he was a dick, it was always unintentional. If pointed out to him that he had been a dick, the guilt would eat him alive.

Second, Zach was definitely *not* harmless. No. He was fucking *dangerous*, and he had secret weapons and knew how to use them ruthlessly, even against hardened and cynical men like Eugene. The disappointed, sad eyes were the worst thing ever. *Ever*. Eugene hadn’t felt that bad about unintentionally hurting anyone in his life. Fuck Zach.

Third: Zach had this thing about hugging people. He loved hugs and cuddles, and had no qualms about forcing you to enjoy them.

Which lead to fourth: he had gotten Eugene used to his quota of hugs and physical affection. He even had gotten used to sharing his ‘Zach cuddling time’ with Keith, because Keith was also this gangly, tall, care bear that felt tempted to hug Eugene is he stood still for too long.

And which, unfortunately, also led to fifth: Zach came to rely on him, to confide in him, to be his friend, one of his best friends. It felt weird. It felt nice. It felt like Eugene wanted to hand Zach the moon and the sun on a silver plate and then slay a dragon – not actually slay, because Zach would get sad to see an animal harmed, but you get the drift. When Zach asked him – specifically him – to accompany him while he got his first shot with his new medicine, Eugene felt some kind of rush actually that disconnected him from reality for a couple of seconds. He hadn’t felt so honoured in a long, long time.

And, most disastrously, sixth: Zach adopted Bowie. Bowie was one of the cutest puppies in existence. Eugene did actually fall in love with Bowie at first sight and adopted him as nephew on the spot (and so did Pesto and Emma. Particularly Pesto).

No one can fault Eugene. Zach and Bowie together are too much cuteness to be born and come unscathed. He’s only human.

Summary: Eugene met Zach. It wasn’t love at first sight for did he adopt him on the stop, but that didn’t matter because Zach kept chipping at his cynicism and by the time Eugene realized, he was so soft about him he didn’t know what to do with himself.

Eugene is a hot mess and doesn’t quite know how to deal with it. Ned thinks it’s hilarious. Keith thinks it’s adorable. Their producer think’s it’s sad and pathetic and Eugene, you’re a sex god, put your shit together man. Zach doesn’t think at all because he’s the most oblivious idiot when it comes to these things, thank whatever deity looks out for messed up pansexual Korean men who have confused feelings for their best friends.

Adam commiserates with their producer: “I get you. I work with Steven and Andrew. I get you *so much*.” Their producer answers: “No, you only see them on dates. I’ve locked them together in a room. I’ve gotten them drunk. I’ve forced them to share bedroom – and bed. I put them on the fucking polygraph and requested that Keith and Ned interrogate Eugene about it, and try to make him jealous. Eugene takes him on dates on their free days. I’ve made them to rub oil over the others’ naked body. I’ve made them rub the oil while *drunk*. It’s past the point of sad. The point of sad is so far behind where we are know it’s not even a speck in the horizon.”

One day, Zach’s sister comes to town to spend a week with her older brother. Try Guys and respective wives are invited. They have lunch in a restaurant recommended by Andrew and Adam, and enjoy a good time. When Eugene drops them off at Zach’s house (Zach had drunk three beers and was in no condition to drive), she comments on how glad she is that Zach finally found love; he seems so much happier for it.

Eugene is crushed. Doubly: first, because Zach found someone (how could he not? He’s the most adorable being on the planet and he will fight you on this), and second, because he had no idea and Zach didn’t confide this in him.

While Eugene is internally having a breakdown, Zach is smiling happily (and drunk, he’s wasted), and has entered ‘babble mode’: “Yeah, Eugene’s the best boyfriend ever. He’s respecting my boundaries so much, having so much patience while I test things out and get comfortable with physical intimacy.”

Eugene is confused because ????? Brain is blue-screen-of-death-ing right now. Attempts to re-start are failing.

Zach kisses his cheek messily and stumbles inside, and his sister pats his shoulder smiling brightly. “He talks so well about you – He says you’re the nicest person he’s been in a relationship with. Also, the one with the best ass. Have a good night!” She smirks sassily (same sassy smile as Zach’s – oh, she must be devastating when flirting) and saunters inside.

And that is how Eugene, one day, realizes he’s been in a relationship with Zach for at least four months. He’d feel terrible about his own obliviousness if it weren’t for the fact that he’s so in cloud nine he’s initiating hugs with random people on his own.

Producer says it’s even worse than the pathetic pining from before: heart eyes Eugene looks weird as fuck on camera and the shoots take forever, because Eugene keeps trailing off while smiling mushily at Zach and they have to repeat every single scene at least thrice.

[fanesavin]

Soapberry Pride 2018

@ianncardero | @thegreatestfitzgerald | @faye-andrews | @mayaparker | @danisavin | @scarlettxruby | @bumblingbrujo | @freddiewatts | @ephrampettaline | @thisdaringdanny | @thisbrutalbelle | @cassiegermaine | @lilo-el-lobo | @rydenbolt

Iann looks around for Fane amidst the hubbub and growing excitement at the Savin Museum. It seems like the whole town (or almost the whole town) is there. And everything looks impeccable - which really, Iann wouldn't expect anything less from Savin. Funny how both Savin and Freddie had vision and also an ability to execute that vision to their exacting specifications, so everything looked professional and polished and downright gorgeous. This was a Euro-expertise, maybe, Iann thought in amusement given his own basic American brain. "Savin! Yo Savin, I got the gl - the disco ball!" Iann called out, hoping the vampire would just hear and locate him.

Fane had been in the process of tinkering with the last minute details for the event, having been texting back and forth with Iann during the day to coordinate what would hopefully achieve their own personal little mission to save the very town that would be participating tonight. Between them they had amassed a collection of weird and wonderful performances which should hopefully amass into a good evening all around. The main stage was set up, rainbow banners, confetti canons and lights not to mention a rather neat karaoke system on a stage a little way away. He'd even driven down the enchanted instrument set from the estate should people want to sing along to songs on the main stage. Around the square little stalls selling drinks (alcoholic and non-alcoholic along with snacks) catered to the milling individuals ahead of the event's commencement. So, when he heard Iann's voice he ducked up from behind a soundboard grinning "nice! We'll hook it up above the stage seems the best place I think." He pointed to a piece of rigging that he'd fixed up for the globe.

Iann shielded his eyes and squinted up at the rigging. "Great. I can get it up there and put it in," he nodded, noting the staging catwalk that led to the rigging. Iann feared a great many things but for some reason teetering heights never bothered him. He looked at Savin and clapped the vampire on the arm. "And hey!! This all looks great too. Better than great, this is one helluvan event." Iann wagged a finger at Fane. "Y'know after this you should consider a side-job as an event planner." Iann was joking of course; first of all because Savin already wore a lot of hats and second because Iann believed the vampire preferred to conceive and pull off own ideas, not catering to the whims and changeable fancies of random fickle clients. "Y'know I just realized that all I have to do once I get the globe up, is stand around and cheer people on. Unless you have some last-minute thing you need me for...?"

Fane smiled cheerily, "alright, just don't fall off the ladder I don't want to have to do a superman catches a falling Lois Lane on you, yeah?" But he pointed over to the ladder for Iann to get on with that job. "Cheers, it took a bit of work but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out... Hopefully people will want to get involved in the bits and pieces. Plus there's drinks and food, who wouldn't want to be here?" The concept of him being some sort of event planner caused him to chuckle, in all honesty, it wasn't the terrible idea of them all, "I don't know how well I'd work being beholden to other people's schedules." Going over to adjust a few of the stands he glanced at Iann, "awh, and there was me thinking you'd be helping to host. It is our event after all and you are great a bigging people up."

Iann blinked. "Host? For this??" Iann started to laugh and he shook his head. "Ohhh no no no, I'm - I'm not a stage...talking...guy. With the microphones and the snappy announcements and the nice outfits. Hosting, ah, performance stuff? I couldn't." Just looking at the stage, and the space where an expectant monolith audience would eventually assemble - it made Iann sweat. Spotlights were for bright shining stars; and Iann considered himself more of a random dark spot on a small moon. He tugged at his collar and then grinned at Fane. "You're a ball of charisma, huh? I guess, uh. Okay well I guess with you there I can totally stand there and do the occasional 'Yeah' and 'Right on'. And thumbs up. I can do the thumbs up." Iann demonstrated using two thumbs.

Miguel The problem with being an introvert that loved people and spending time with them, was that Miguel would get himself into all sorts of shenanigans. After a long three days of being the go-to guy for the Soapberry Pride festival, and the Gender & Wellness Q&A, well he was absolutely exhausted. He was supposed to be helping set up for the open mic night (which had somehow gotten blown up to talent show and... whatever else Iann was turning it into). He didn’t mind because that meant he didn’t have to help set up so much as watch Iann and Fane bumbling around. And there was the everlasting curiosity that meant Miguel wanted to know badly what was in the backpack Iann had insisted on tugging around for the past couple days.

Babs wasn't often flustered, but admittedly being put on such short notice to perform onstage was making that rare occurrence a reality as she hustled into the museum. She didn't have much in the way of props, but she'd commissioned Justine to use some magical shortcuts to whip her up what she needed, and she'd hired the woman's son Justin to lug the props to the venue for her. "We're here. Am I done now?" Justin moaned as he dropped the bags and boxes at his feet the second they entered. Babs sighed. "Take them backstage and you can leave." After glancing at the stage, brimming with pride and anticipation at the sight, she spotted Iann talking with someone nearby that she couldn't quite see. She approached them with a hastened step, every bit of her movement ready and raring to go. "Quite the set up you've managed, my boy."

Iann turned at the familiar voice, his face lighting up with joy. "Auntie Babs! Oh - no this wasn't me. I didn't do any of this, my talent show partner in crime did - Savin, this is my - this is Babs Fitzgerald. Auntie, this is Fane Savin, the bankroll behind the show." Behind Babs in the distance, Iann noticed that Miguel showed up as well and Iann gave the witch a wave and yet another thumb's up. Did Miguel come to do his poem slamming, or just to watch the show? Either way, Iann was glad he showed up.

Maya was curious as to what exactly this talent show put on by odd couple Iann and Fane would look like. Although she supposed Freddie and Iann could also be considered an odd couple and they had an excellent inn together. She arrived quietly, having no interest in being roped onto the stage again and not wanting to disturb the preparations. Upon spotting the group she smiled and waved, but didn't yet go over.

Fane looked at Iann with a slanted grin. “Oh come on, you can’t always hide in the shadows, knock a few drinks back and you’ll be fine and dandy, plus, who doesn’t love a thumbs up” Fane responded with one of his own. However, he was fast taken with a very, very familiar voice. Turning to look at the woman approaching he blinked once, then twice just as Iann introduced he spoke almost simultaneously – “Oh my god, Babs?” immediately forgetting what they had been discussing he stepped out from behind the bits and pieces grinning toothily "well I'll be damned, you are a sight for sore eyes darling."

Babs spoke with Iann as he finished, her grin taking over her entire face. "Fane Savin, yes, I know." She stepped forward and brought Fane into a quick hug, before turning to Iann. "Small world, this town. We met in Madrid decades ago." The memories flooded back to her, and without realizing, her hand went up to touch the area around an eye that had once been a bruised mark of shame and pride all at once. "I can't believe you're here, darling."

Iann "Well I'll be..." Iann said, sticking his tongue into the side of his cheek. Still watching them keenly, Iann took a step back from the pair and then another, then turned to let them get acquainted. Re-acquainted. Whatever. Iann hustled off towards the ladder, clambering up it to to catwalk suspended over the stage. He had a globe to install, and he might as well get that done now, while the good vibes were starting to roll in....at least it seemed like Savin and Babs had good vibes between them. But others were showing up as well, and Iann figured they were all mild and anticipatory for the show.

Fane happily hugged Babs back. "Too right we did, and we had a good time of it in the end" seeing how Babs subconsciously touched her eye he reached out and gave her elbow a little supportive squeeze knowing just what she was presently thinking of. "I was here back when we met, honestly I was tempted about telling you about it back then but our time was rather cut short. How've you been? When did you get here?" he quizzed with interest.

Babs appreciated the support Fane offered, but she just as quickly tucked her feelings away, standing up a little straighter and adopting a grin once more. "How I've been is a somewhat loaded question we should perhaps put a pin in," she offered. "But I got here just a couple of months ago. That would have saved me quite a bit of time," she said, quirking an eyebrow, "but I don't blame you for not giving into temptation. Despite less than satisfactory events that brought us together, in the end you still didn't know me from Adam to trust me with knowledge of a place like this." She looked around once more, taking in the area around her. "This museum, is it yours?"

Iann Once Iann was done with the rigging the globe, he got one of the stage hands to get the thing spinning, just to see how it looked. Spotlights shone on it as it slowly spun; and although it was smooth and not mirrored or faceted, somehow the globe seemed to refract light, sending beams in various directions like a little sun. It was a delightful surprise that was bound to only look prettier as the venue sunk into the evening. Satisfied, Iann shimmied back down the ladder and dusted his hands. He felt a lot lighter now, no longer toting that thing around; and so Iann took a quick little tour of the transformed town square, assuming Savin was to be held credible for everything arranged. Talk about last-minute work. People were bound to be attracted to it tonight. Iann simply couldn't see them failing at this task to keep Soapberry safe.

Faye had finally made her way to the museum stage, which seemed to still be in the middle of construction. Of a sort. A small crowd was mingling, and Faye moved through them, looking around for any familiar faces. She'd been 'coerced' into performing, so she'd decided to sing a few songs like she used to do back at Morgana's. She'd dressed up in leather jacket with black undershirt, glittering black pants that fit snugly, rainbow heels, and her hair pulled back into a fohawk of curls (sparkling with gold glitter) on top of her head. Her lips were a deep red and her makeup was just a classic smokey eye with winged liner. A bit of jewelry and she was set. She looked up as something sparkled above the stage, so transfixed on the little light that she ran right into someone.

Iann didn't even recognize Faye when she smacked into him. "Hey, I'm walking h - oh it's just you, hey," Iann's testiness faded and he grinned a Faye. "You look all rock-glam. Say, are you performing tonight?? Savin pulled some favours?"

Fane nodded at the topic that perhaps wasn't right for just this moment "another time then, we'll have to get drinks and you'll have to regale me of your life story hmmm?" His shoulders wiggled just a little his cheerful nature exacerbated by the fact she was here. But her summary of the fact he did barely know her was truth enough of the fact "yeah, that's true and it seems fate wanted to bring you here in its own time anyhow." Glancing over his shoulder at the museum and then back at her with a grin, "yep! Founded it all myself, I'm quite proud of it really."

"Jesus, you scared me," Faye said, gripping Iann by the arm. "And yeah. I got... 'coerced'.... Figured if I’m gonna do it should just go all out hm?" Faye said of her outfit. It was a bit outside her norm, but she found she liked it. "You the handyman for all this?" She pointed at the stage.

"As you should be," Babs confirmed. She'd always had a little dream in the back of her mind of founding a theater, but having something so concrete to her name was honestly less than fitting to her nowadays. "It's quite an accomplishment. I'll have to come see your collection when its not being so overshadowed."

"What's that mean? 'Coerced'," Iann said, putting his hands up to use air-quotes. "Unless this is a sex thing in which case don't tell me. And yeah - well - you look good, I like it especially if it's for stage. The hair...you're like a horse," Iann said reaching up and (gently, not to ruin the up-do) flipped a bouncy curl. "Ahhhh no - no this was all your fella's doing. I figured he both knew how to do all this, he liked doing all this, and best of all he could pay for all this." Iann grinned. "I sure do love working with fancy wealthy control freaks. And I mean that in the kindest possible way." In case Faye got offended on Fane's behalf. Freddie was similar in his design for Stonefruit; and once Iann learned that, it had been carte blanche for the fairy as well.

"I mean there was... a countertop and some... chocolate syrup and... I really don't remember the rest past the point where I just said 'YESSS!!'." Faye grinned at Iann, as she slapped her hand to her chest at the exclamation, drawing the eye of a few people standing nearby. But she just snorted at herself and bent her hair down for him to peruse. A bit of glitter floated down. "Thanks. It's been ages since I dressed up to sing anything." Faye grinned as she looked around, knowing Fane had had a hand in all of it as well. "Well, Fane is all of those things, so..." Faye didn't take offense on Fane's part, knowing Iann didn't mean it in a bad way. Hell, by the looks of the place there was no telling how much Fane had put into it. Though Faye was glad to see him out and having fun instead of wanting to hide inside.

Bella showed up with a rack filled with enclosed costume changes, pushing it while wearing an outfit likely more ridiculous than the ones in the bags just because what idiot wore heels knowing that would have to move things around? Honestly she had no idea where to put anything. "Hey, is there like a round back I should be taking this?" Bellamy asked to no one in particular.

Maya looked up as Bella walked in with a full costume rack. She shrugged in response, but having very little use for manners shouted, "Yo Iann, is there a backstage and also point me in the direction of booze?"

Iann shook his head and smiled as Faye yelled out her pseudo-orgasm 'yes' and people paused curiously. He applauded and nodded at the other onlookers to join in. "Our first performance of the night, people of the audience," he proclaimed, as they moved along. "You know what gets me is the clean-up afterwards, like. Oh god, oh yeah, oh baby. And then five minutes later you're both scrubbing with water and some magic erasers. Unless of course Savin's got servants to handle all that." "So you're going to sing! Oh that'll be fun. Good, maybe you can start the show, huh?"

Iann heard his name and looked behind him to Maya, and then further behind Maya to spot Bellamy and what seemed to be a long enclosed rack on wheels. "Oh my god, she's doing the fashion show," Iann marveled to himself, before he yelled out. "Oye, Bellamy! Just wheel it up that ramp there! You'll see the dressing mirrors all partitioned off, you can store your stuff there. Jesus, that girl is creative," Iann grinned proudly at Faye as he said that. To Maya, he replied. "Ahhhhh, there's some food and drink booths just down that path? Follow it and you'll get there. I think it's all open bar too, depending on how generous your benefactor is feeling tonight."

Fane heard a familiar voice and his head tilted in that direction and he almost succeeded in not gawking at Faye's loud exclamation though it was mostly her outfit mostly that struck him. In all honesty, he failed spectacularly and his mouth opened and closed "wow" he mumbled under his breath. Looking to Babs he took her hand and pulled her along with the comment of "c'mon, someone I'd like you to meet."

Maya pointed up at Iann to acknowledge his words and shouted back, "Cool, I'm gonna get on that." She turned to head down the path, knowing that if she had a drink or two she'd be sure to cheer loudly. It seemed like the least she could do considering her lack of stage worthy skills.

Darla beelined for the rack full of couture that looked like it was moving on its own up that ramp before realizing that there was a woman pushing it. A very small, very impossibly incredible-looking woman, right out of the pages of a magazine. "These are yours?" she asked, eyes round. "All these clothes?"

"Did I win?" Faye asked Iann, waggling her eyebrows. "I meanthe cleanup is worth it yeah?" she shrugged. "And the servants only come in if there's broken furniture or something on the antique rugs." Faye nodded. "Yeah. Singin'. And hey wait... no one said anything about starting!" Faye called in exasperation as Iann moved off into the crowd. "Ass!!" she called.

Ephram moseyed around the talent show arena, taking in everybody's outfits and costumes and whatnots with interest. He himself was still dressed down; even though he wasn't technically on duty, the main concession he'd made to changing it up was to wear one of the tie-dye rejects from Lilo's booth earlier.

Bella heard Iann and gave him a nod, so short in stature she wasn't exactly finding the large item easy to maneuver but eventually had it heading up the ramp when someone was there. Sandy blonde hair, evidently taller than her and...well, a figure Bellamy hadn't seen for a while. The vampire actually paused for a second, standing awkwardly on the ramp. "Yeah...I mean, enough for tonight, probably won't wear them again, not a lot of them are totally me," she said, pulling out the Ralph Lauren skirt she had picked inspired by Cassie. "You like any of it?" she asked.

Babs couldn't help but smirking as she saw Fane gawk in the direction of a woman a little ways from them. She didn't protest when her hand was grabbed, though she reclaimed it quickly as they walked.

Ryden had been to a museum... never in his life. But luckily, the decorations made it pretty obvious that the Open Mic Night will actually be happening there. He was pretty much all ready for his five minutes of glory, dressed in all black bartending uniform he wore at Erzebet's during work hours, a white apron shoved in the backpack he carried along with a few additional things Iann might not've been able to provide for Ryden's performance. He still had some remnants of electric blue in his hair from the blacklight party two days ago and it might take him some time washing it completely out. Looking about, because honestly everything just looked amazing, busy and confusing, he noticed Iann near the stage ((or on it I didn't follow through lol)), jogging up to him. "Yo, boss! I'm not late, right?" Because he kind of almost forgot about it.

Darla squealed, clapped, and danced around, swooping down to hug Bellamy tight before yanking stuff off the rack as if she knew exactly what was on there. Since she was only wearing a skimpy string bikini top and the barest little white ruffle skirt, she just pulled on the red-and-pink top, the leather jacket, and the YSL heels, discarding her own cheap stilettos carelessly. Primping her blonde hair, Darla posed and turned for Bellamy, saying, "I'm Darla. I haven't been in town long, and -- can I stick by you?" Her blue eyes shone hopefully as she clasped her hands, one long leg raising like a flamingo's.

Iann The clean-up is worth it. Iann had to ponder that for a moment, and then grinned when Faye protested going first. "Well someone has to go first, hermana. And your singing is a great way to warm the crowd up and get them in the mood." But Iann was distracted once more by Ryden jogging up to him, and before he could stop himself Iann was reaching up to try and fussily try to brush the blue stuff out of Ryden's hair. "You're just in time, Dodger. I got your set-up ready and everything, on wheels so it can just get on stage easy-peasy." It was really the only part of tonight that Iann himself specifically worked on, because he'd promised Ryden he would. He looked slyly at Faye and then back at the werewolf. "Do you want to go first? You're an automatic crowd-pleaser, honestly. People are still talking about the black light party."

Freddie strode in, garment bag over his arm, and looked around for Babs to collect his marching orders - but when he caught sight of her with Savin, the fairy wrinkled his nose, deciding that perhaps discretion was the better part of valour for the moment, and opting to hunt for Iann instead. Iann, however, he soon found to be chatting with Faye, and Freddie let out a small frustrated huff, before situating himself out of the way of the crew and the bustle, but still easily noticeable, should Babs begin to wonder where he'd got to.

Maya Beer and hot dog in hand Maya returned to the stage area. She was curious to see who all had gotten roped into performing. Ryden, Bella, Dani and Sam all she knew and she suspected that Faye had more than likely gotten roped in as well. When she arrived she considered offering to help, but decided it would be a too many cooks in the kitchen situation. And mostly that someone might rope her in to performing as well. She therefore hung back.

Ephram caught sight of Freddie easily -- height was to his advantage in any crowd -- and made his way over, kissing him hello. "Miss Babs better be careful with you," he admonished the fairy. "Sawing you in half is gonna endanger some parts of you I'm right fond of."

Ruby made her way towards the stage, bag over her shoulder. Holy shit there was a lot going on. But she saw a lot of familiar faces at least, as well as several she didn't know. She eyed the crowd for Dani, her friend being a lifesaver and agreeing to perform with Ruby. And it wasn't singing this time. She drifted a bit towards the back stage area, trying to get her bearings before she set about getting dressed.

Ryden swatted at Iann's hand but it was done absently, Ryden too used to his momma being the same way, only she wasn't so quiet about it and always had to point out just how much of a messy child he was on top of adjusting his clothing in public even when he was way past his teen days. "Sweet~" He said, in regards to his props being all set. When he suggested Ryden should go first, the young wolf just shrugged. "Whatever. Is that the backstage there?"

Bella was surprised when her question of whether or not the woman liked any of it induced such glee and in moments she was grabbing at things, Bella smiling as she pulled on the shirt she had chosen for Ephram, trying to contain her ample self in a size that was clearly designed for Bellamy. "Bella," she offered, letting go off the rack with her hand and reaching up to undo the strap of Darla's bikini top, the strings showing over the back of her clothing and the lines of it evident beneath the fabric. "Definitely not a cute look with this underneath but otherwise I think you look good," Bellamy said, not exactly confident enough to reach under her shirt and pull the bikini off completely. "And of course I want someone attractive sticking with me," Bellamy assured, starting to push the rack back up and heading into the back room where likely everyone would end up. "You in town for Pride week?"

Iann "Yeah kid. Damn you're amenable, I fucking love it. Head up the ramp behind the stage, hm? When you spot Bellamy and her giant rack, then you're in the right place," Iann said with a smirk because Bellamy very much didn't have a giant 'rack' in the slang sense of the word"

Faye nodded at Ryden, giving him a small smile in return.

Fane glanced around noting the fact that more and more people seemed to be arriving and present. The crowds were starting to gather out front as well so after a few last minute checks, another remark that he was happy to see her but that he had to go. With a few last moment checks to make sure people who were in the line up were prepped he took up a mic and stepped out on stage to the buzzing tune of 'I'm So Excited' which stirred the people in the Crowne to whoop and start clapping along. So far so good. "Wow!" he started voice echoing a little with the mic "hello everyone! And welcome to the show!" The crowd was buzzing and a glance up at the orb it was glimmering brightly looking at the crowds "what an audience," more cheers "this is it, we now have the ultimate lineup all hoping to leave tonight with an amazing set of prizes and a donation to their charity of choice. So are you ready?" he paused letting the crowd clamour and cheer seeming to start amping up the mood in anticipation for the show.

Iann elbowed Faye. "Holy shit, it's starting. I should go up there. Should I go up there? I don't think I should go up there and kill Savin's buzz. He's on a roll. He doesn't need me, nah, I won't go up there."

Darla wriggled out of the scrap of bikini and left that, too, where it fell as she accompanied Bellamy up the ramp, making no offer to help out and instead admiring herself in her new outfit. "Oh, attractive, me," she said in a dismissive (but clearly not really) way. "I mean look at you! Like you should be floating down a red carpet." Darla flicked through the rack again just in case, saying, "Even your name is glamorous, Bella." She came around it to stand on Bellamy's side, nodding at her question. "Might stay longer, if I feel like it. And find somebody who can help me stick around." Her voice slowed a little, getting more syrupy as she flicked the pad of her thumb over the back of Bellamy's wrist.

Ryden pursed his lips with a little frown. He wasn't entirely sure what 'amendable' meant when Iann said it. But that expression quickly faded to be replaced by a grin. "Ehehehe I see whachoo did there~" Because it was really hard to miss Bella's rack. Of clothing of course. But he caught the pun. With another quiet nod at Faye, Ryden jogged off to the backstage, noticing Bella there by her clothing line, talking to some chick he didn't recognize. Opting not to interrupt their conversation, Ryden listened to the announcements, checking his backpack to make sure everything was there.

Freddie lit up when he saw Ephram coming, and returned his husband's kiss with a smile; the arm holding the garment bag held carefully out of the way. "Hello, love," he said happily, "How's your day been so far?" chuckling at the teasing. "And I promise, hand on heart, that Babs'll get me back to you in one piece tonight - really, you'll be amazed at what she intends to do - but I think you'd best give me a thorough looking-over afterward regardless, yeah? Just to be certain everything's still the way you left it."

Babs broke off from Fane before he could introduce her to whomever he'd spotted before, and seemed to get distracted himself as he made his way to the stage. Just then, Babs caught sight of her lovely assistant, and made her way over to him. "Freddie my dear, are you ready to put our night of practice to good use?" She then noticed the man hanging off of Freddie, recognizing him from a picture Freddie had shown her. "You must be Ephram?" She held her hand out for him to shake. "I've only heard good things from this one," she teased, gesturing to Freddie.

Faye grinned at Iann. "Best to just let him do his thing," she laughed before putting her fingers to her mouth and whistling along with the crowd as Fane started things off.

Fane let the crowd clamour for a bit. "Alright then! Well let's get this show going shall we? Kicking us off tonight," Fane almost stopped to roll his eyes at the name that flashed up on the small screen but his smile remained and he pressed on seemingly unflappable. "Is a young man here to astound you with his skills and incredible mixology skills, and maybe even give you a few drinks if you're lucky and down here in the front" he grinned at a few people. "May I introduce to you, Mister Ryden Bolt! Give him a hand!" the crowd cheered and Fane spun the microphone stepping off to let the stage crew set up the bar on stage for Ryden.

Maya cheered loudly, raising her glass as Fane started off the show. When he introduced Ryden she let out a loud wolf whistle, a skill learned from some of Carson's Army buddies. She knew though that she had probably gotten lost in the crowd, but wasn't worried about it.

Iann When Faye told Iann to just remain off the stage, Iann nodded and waited until Fane had announced Ryden. He whistled and clapped loudly as Ryden took the stage, but bolted up the side stairs and catapulted towards Fane. "Savin! You wanted me there but Faye said I should let you do your thing but then I thought about just standing next to you but then maybe you are doing way better without me hanging around like the creepy weirdo in the shadows so --"

Ruby clapped from her seat in the wings as Fane introduced Ryden. The night was off to a fun start it seemed.

Ephram snorted, squeezing Freddie tight -- it was a good thing his husband had the foresight to save his wardrobe -- and was about to respond with something dirty when Babs approached. Straightening up with a slightly self-conscious grin, he took Babs' hand and said, "Yes'm. I'm glad to hear my darlin' husband keeps it fit for mixed company when he talks about my good features." He nodded at the stage, asking, "You two are gonna look like a million bucks in nickels and dimes up there together. Cain't wait to see the act."

Bella's smile pulled to one said as Darla clearly spoke with a fake modesty, she was obviously beautiful. Not in the same way Bellamy was. Bellamy looked airbrushed, like she wasn't totally real. Darla looked weighted by her beauty, like she couldn't quite carry all of it at once even though she knew exactly where all of it was. "Maybe, doesn't discount how you look," Bella assured, feeling Darla's thumb over over the back of her wrist, her hand twisting up to wrap around so she could run the tips of her fingers over the underside of her wrist. "I'm sure lots of people could help," she assured, a little distracted by the warmth she was getting from her skin, hearing the heartbeat of Ryden's arrival and pulling her hand back quickly. "I helped him get a job," she said, motioning over to the guy. "And have made him look a bit more presentable...are you wearing your work clothing?" she asked him, stepping slightly in front of Darla, like if he couldn't see her then he wouldn't try taking the attention away from Bellamy - even if it wasn't his intention Ryden was clearly gorgeous, it wasn't hard for him.

Freddie turned when he heard Babs' voice and grinned. "I was born ready, love - we're going to put everyone else to shame." And when the older woman put out her hand to Ephram, telling him how Freddie bragged on him at every opportunity, the fairy only smiled wider. "That's because there's only good things to say," he replied, squeezing his sweetheart a little tighter. "I mean, look at him," he said, eyes shining, "-and this is only the tip of the iceberg."

Faye followed behind Iann slowly, in no rush to shove through the crowd of people. Iann and Fane's budding bromance made her smile as she followed up the stairs, getting her first good look at Fane's outfit. "Wow..." she huffed, a stupid grin turning up one side of her mouth. She slung an arm over Iann's shoulder, leaning against him. "Can I take your friend home later?" she whispered to Iann, though it wasn't really a whisper and she was looking at Fane the entire time.

Darla 's eyes brightened up behind Bellamy as she spotted Ryden, something a little more cunning slipping into her expression. But she made no move, instead shifting up closer behind Bellamy so the vampire was aware of her warmth. And Darla was tall, so there wasn't much of a chance for Bellamy to forget she was there. "I want you to help," she whispered.

Ryden: Oh, this was him! Uh... Where are his stuff again??? Ryden looked about, finally noticing the makeshift bar counter on wheels. He carted it onto the stage, waving enthusiastically at the crowds. Positioning everything in place, the music already playing to set the mood. It took a minute to set everything up but he didn't let the anticipation build up for too long before the first bottle was up in the air and then... things just escalatedquickly as the young wolf performed impressive acrobatics in the rhythm of the music.

Ryden’s Act: http://youtube.com/watch?v=60GJ0dJ1xmE

Fane laughed as Iann approached, the lights catching and reflecting off the gold of his attire. "I might need you or at least someone to introduce me when I do my thing I'm totally not introducing myself because that'd just be-- well, weird." Though as Faye followed behind Iann and into sight Fane's smile turned lop-sided itself at her stage-whisper.

Ephram was inordinately pleased to be referred to as an iceberg

Iann laughed loudly (there may have been a snort in there) in relief at Fane's response. "Ah - god - yes. Thanks, that - I can do that." When Faye slunk over all slinky like, Iann loked from her side-smile to Fane's mirrored one. Both the vampire and the witch had the same sort of look in their eyes: one part predatory, one part absolutely goofy in love. "He has to be wooed first, Faye. You can't just go stampeding him straight the bedroom. Tell him he's beautiful before you rip off his clothes, hm?"

Faye: "Go let Bellamy dress you so you can introduce," Faye said, giving Iann a shake.

Bella turned, hearing Ryden's named called onto the stage. She knew what he was doing and had seen him do it a number of times at work so wasn't overly concerned about watching, mostly just hoping he'd save her whatever he ended up making and bringing one by. With him gone she turned, Darla quite close to her now, chest squeezed into the shirt she had chosen for Ephram and her muscles obviously tightened due to standing in heels. "Uh um - yeah - yeah, I can definitely help," Bellamy froze up slightly, she hadn't spoken to a woman who was so evidentally attractive to her in a long time. The large smile on her face had been enough to break Bellamy completely, especially as it was so rare in this town she found any women attractive, but she pulled herself together, stepping back and opening up what would be her first outfit. "Maybe find you some clothes that fit first."

Babs "You two are sickeningly adorable," Babs teased. "But I'm afraid I'll have to break up the love fest and steal my lovely assistant away. I've no word on the act order so we best be prepared for anything." Putting a hand on Freddie's arm, she began to lead him away toward the backstage area. She stole a glance up at the young man throwing bottles around in an impressively coordinated display, but her focus was getting backstage. Once they were more or less alone, Babs turned to Freddie, a rare look of panic in her eyes. "Freddie, darling...I hate to admit this but, my nerves are getting the best of me at the moment," she confessed. "Perhaps this wasn't a good idea."

Faye mock sighed dramatically at Iann. "But I don't like foreplay...  But fine..." She stepped away from Iann and walked over to Fane, looking him over before taking him by the lapels. "You look stunning, baby..."

Fane 's eyes crinkled happily at Iann and Faye's remarks. He was feeling, well, he was feeling good , really good. The mood of the situation and buzz generally infectious and plus, Faye taking him by the lapels practically drew his entire attention. Unable to help himself from snickering a little as Iann darted off. "Thank you love, and you-- well, you're looking absolutely ravishing." 

The wolf also really knew how to rile up the crowd, which became obvious during the blacklight party. Although he didn't have a microphone on him right now, that didn't stop him from communicating with the crowd, occasionally asking for an applause and cheer. The end product of Ryden's performance where three perfectly made margaritas in tall glasses and the young wolf ended up inviting three people on the stage to try them out - Maya, whom he'd easily noticed in the crowd, pointing her out, Babs and Freddie whom he didn't know but pointed out anyway. They were free to come up on the stage and try what he'd made.

Iann stubbornly thought he looked fine, but he'd been a wingman enough times to know a cue when he heard one and Faye was practically shoving him away by now to get to her fella. "Okay okay okay, I can take a hint. Savin! Let me know when you're on and I'll announce you." Iann stepped back down into the audience, right when Ryden finished up his set with delicious looking margaritas. Iann joined in the applause and hollering for the werewolf's mad skills.

Maya made a big show of being surprised even as she internally rolled her eyes. She should've known that somehow she'd end up stage. Pretending to fan herself she went up on stage before realizing that she had no free hands. "Hold my hot dog?" she asked Ryden before handing it to him. After taking a sip of what he'd created she turned to the crowd and gave an technically over-enthusiastic thumbs up.

Darla pouted at Bellamy's wanting to re-dress her, tugging the bottom of the already short top up so the hem landed somewhere just south of her boobs. "Yes? No?" she asked hopefully, but then pouted some more and said, "okay," when Bellamy decided a change of outfit was needed. Clinging to Bellamy's arm like a limpet, Darla declared, "I just knew I'd find somebody here who I'd be best friends with right away. But I didn't expect somebody with such style as you, Bella." Darla was laying it on pretty thick, but there was a ring of sincerity to her words. Or at least a greedy admiration underneath.

Taking Maya's hot dog for her, he took a bite out of it, much to the audience's amusement. It was his hot dog now.

Iann "YEAH! SHOVE THAT FOOTLONG IN YOUR FACE, HOTSTUFF," Iann cupped his hands to his mouth and hollers.

Ruby watched, a huge grin on her face as Ryden showed off his bartending skills. She clapped with the rest of the audience when he was done, laughing as the 'volunteer's came up to taste what he'd made.

The Watcher: ((Just imagine there's a 6'8" figure in the back of the room, overshadowed by his stenson hat and otherwise obscured by his shadowy overcoat. The figure says nothing but claps loudly after every performance.))

Maya caught Ryden taking a bite out of her hot dog out of the corner of her eye. She faked shock, even as amusement sparkled in her eyes. "I'm never getting that back, am I Batman?" she asked, too quiet for the audience to hear. She didn't set the drink now. It was collateral now, obviously.

Ryden: "Nope~ That's payback for the popsicle."

Bella didn't think anything there would fit her, she really meant later, another day, where Darla wasn't just picking things off a random rack of clothing but it was hard not to want to keep changing her back there, especially seeing her fidget with the fabric. She needed to get a hold of herself. Fortunately she attached herself to Bella and the vampire clung back, and was a pretty big sucker for compliments, even if they seemed oddly specific. "Thanks," she flushed, Darla's warmth able to bring a reddish hue to her cheeks. "Admittedly I can't judge your own, I'm guessing the bikini was because you were at the beach and not because you just wear them around, right?"

Maya shook her head, not surprised. "Then I'm not going to tell you about great you did," she replied, "And also this is mine now." With that she hopped off the stage gracefully, now double fisting her drinks.

Carting his props away from the stage, followed by a roaring applause, Ryden was done, slipping back so that the next performer could be announced. Not phased one bit that he'd just performed in front of a lot of people, he left the props where he'd found them and took off the apron he had on. Well that was a nice experience~

Faye blushed a bit beneath her rockstar glam makeup. "Flatterer. It's a bit of a change I know,"Faye said of her outfit, n ot letting go of himjust yet. "You havin' fun?" she smiled. "It's... this is amazing." She looked around, seeing all the people together and mingling (mostly) happily.

Fane smiled “thanks, it’s come together well hasn’t it?” Unfortunately had to break away from Faye, "I gotta go. Hosting," stealing a quick peck he squeezed her hand the crew signalling for Ryden to depart the stage and moving his things. "What a brilliant way to open the show, quite the display for you all hm? And now! Our local fashionista. Here to give you all a show you're bound never to forget-- Welcome to the stage, Miss Bellamy Barnes!"

Faye just grinned as he kissed her and moved off. She wasn't going to keep him, but it was SO nice to watch him leave.

Freddie leaned up and gave Ephram another kiss - this one much quicker - and said, "I'll be looking for you in the front row," then called back over his shoulder with a sparkly-eyed smirk as Babs led him off, "But if Iann sees you first, he just may try to put you on stage..." winking as he disappeared around the corner. Once he and Babs were on their own, however, and she admitted to her stage fright, fear bright in her eyes, the fairy sobered and took her hands in his. "You, love," he told her, "-are an incredible talent. You're going to knock this entire crowd on its collective arse." He smiled, holding her gaze. "Honestly, darling, your kind of skill deserves an audience to captivate," and then after a moment's pause, he added, "-plus I look bloody gorgeous in my outfit, and I want to show it off." Freddie grinned again. "So no more second-guessing, yeah? You're going to go out there and show all these people what magic really looks like when you work for it."

Darla "I was at the beach earlier, but I was wearing it mostly because of the Pride thing. I never been to one! It's so exciting." She flushed a little as well, looking down. "Well, probably not for you. You must be used to this sort of thing." Fane intro'd Bellamy just then, and Darla looked even more starstruck, if possible.

Maya cheered again as Fane returned to the stage to introduce Bella. She would've clapped too, but she still had no free hands.

Ephram dutifully worked his way up closer to the front, mindful of shorties in the crowd whose view he didn't want to ruin. Hearing Bellamy's name called, he gave a loud hoot and clapped, wondering what his friend would be doing. Surely she wasn't gonna caterwaul in front of all these folks. Ephram grinned at the thought, since he personally adored Bellamy's enthusiastic if not always on-key renditions.

Bella heard her name and it was only the good fortune of being a vampire that she was able to change quickly enough to make it out, unfortunately not able to respond to Darla God, she felt sort of silly. She'd sung in front of people, specifically planned songs to fit the specific vibe. This felt a little silly but it had been Iann's idea and she liked making him happy. Plus it was nice to show off her clothing that tended to sit for months on end in her closet. Iann's outfit was the first one and she went through each of the townsfolk, imagery of each persons name behind her with each outfit so they knew who it was for. There were a lot and she was grateful that Darla had fortunately removed the items she needed for each of the outfits. By the time she was on the final one her hair was messier than it started out and she was feeling a little bit dizzy. Fortunately though she made it backstage as the music concluded and inhaled and unnecessary breath of comfort that it was done.

Ryden decided to stick to the backstage, leaning against a wall at a good vantage point from which he could see the stage itself. He clapped when Bella was announced, vocally cheering for her too.

Darla Bellamy was met with a tall whirlwind of warm perfumy girl who slammed into her, shrieking in congratulations. "That was like a real live fashion show!" Darla screamed. "Ohmygawd you're not real. You're not! You can't be!!"

Maya watched with some awe as Bella displayed outfits inspired by all of them. The fact she'd pulled it together so quickly was incredible enough on its own. When the outfit apperently inspired by Maya herself appeared the witch shouted, "Fuck yeah all black!" She actually kind of liked the jacket and might have to make a point of asking Bella where she'd gotten it later although she suspected it would be out of her personal price range.

Iann was amazed that Bellamy somehow managed to pull it off, and yet she did. "THAT'S ME! That first one - it's me! It's me right?" Iann asked the stranger next to him, who ignored him to clap for Bellamy. To Iann, she was flawless - in execution and design and the way she walked and her hair and everything. Sure he didn't really understand some of her choices but that didn't matter because clearly the kids and the more artistic folk in the audience were over the moon over her style and flair. Ryden set a good precedent, and now Bellamy was carrying the torch of joy seamlessly. Iann glanced up at the globe, and it seemed brighter than ever. When it was over, Iann clapped so hard he almost felt like crying, it was getting a little overwhelming. But he had to stick around for Babs' performance, and to announce Savin's as well.

Ruby figured it was coming up time to get ready. She and Dani hadn't practiced all that much, just a quick run through of things they did during sparring sessions. But much faster and with a bit more... flair.

Ephram was entirely entertained that Bellamy had created an outfit for him and only mildly objected to the fanny pack, giving her a gentle heckling before she moved on to the next one. He resolved to catch up with Bella later and tell her how cool her bit had been, and also to find out what made her hair slowly stand on end like she was being electrified through the entire performance.

The Watcher claps very loudly with a slavic accent. You didn't know claps could be accented but here we are, the stranger did it.

Bella laughed hard when Darla approached her, a little awestruck by the sudden investment of the woman, it was exceptionally flattering. She knew that Iann was going to love it, and that he would likely be amused by her styling of him, and she had heard Maya's happiness at what had come out for her, making her quite pleased she hadn't screwed up, but this woman didn't even know her and while she was definitely intense none of it seemed particularly fake. "I mean, a fake fashion show like they'd do in high school to raise money for like...prom or something," she laughed a little bit, putting her hand on the girls arm. "You should see a real fashion show. I should see a real fashion show," she corrected, Paris Fashion Week was like her entire goal to attend one day. "Did you like my outfit for you Ryden?" she asked, seeing the guy standing all alone.

Babs held Freddie's hands tight when he took them, listening to his words as they soothed her troubles. It wasn't stage fright per-se, though she admittedly had her previous 'failure' at the forefront of her mind whether she liked it or not. "Yeah," she answered, taking a deep breath. "You're right, my dear, let's blow them away." She led them over to where Justin had set up all the props before promptly disappearing, and a stagehand passing them by informed them that they were next up. Babs hadn't been this nervous in decades, but she swallowed it down and stamped it out, focusing all that nervous energy into the cards she was twirling around in her hands.

Darla turned with Bellamy, her arms slung around the vampire's waist, giving Ryden a breathless, sultry smile. "Ryden," she repeated. "Wasn't she amazing, Ryden?"

Fane clapped as Bella finished up her piece, and walked onstage doing precisely that. "Well, wasn't that a beautiful display of our local fashion? Quite a celebration indeed!" The crowd was still cheering and clapping, all going well so far. "Are you ready for more?!" a roar of approval came in response, "alright then! We've had drinks, we've had design-- now what about a little bit of... danger hm?" His eyes glittered as a murmur went through the crowd, "may I present, Dani Savin and Ruby Devereaux to the stage!"

Ryden: The young wolf, too focused on the actual show and what was going to happen next was kind of surprised when someone addressed him during his lone wolf moment. He glanced at Bella and the woman she was talking to, eyebrows slightly raised. "That's my baby doll, yo." He pushed off the wall to approach them, slipping an arm around Bella's waist all smooth-like. "Hey babe. That was effin' amazing."

Ephram idly purchased some kind of fund-raising candy from an atronach child and instantly regretted it when he realized the marshmallows were coated not in melted caramel but in melted hard butterscotch. Still, he whooped when Fane announced Ruby and Dani, wincing as he pried one of the marshmallows coated in rock-hard candy off a tooth.

Briefly distracted by another announcement, Ryden peeked at the stage again. Oh wow, this town was so small. Apparently his ex and Ruby knew each other. Fuck that, the entire world was like as big as a backyard it seems.

Bella had to believe that Ryden was affected by Darla and how she spoke. Between herself and the woman Bellamy had to look about tweleve years old, but he seemed unaffected, walking over she suddenly had both Darla and Ryden's arms wrapped around her waist and was actively convinced this had to be some kind of punishment. "I made a much cuter you than you do, which was quite difficult, puppy, you're terribly handsome," she told him, wrapping her own arms around the two taller companions she now had. "You save me any drinks we can share?"

Darla narrowed her eyes at Ryden for a moment before her expression smoothed out, all breathy anticipation and warm openness again. "Oh," she peeped at Bellamy, "is this your boyfriend?"

Freddie "Course we will," Freddie said, leaning in to buss her cheek, and then quickly changing his clothes right where he stood, not caring at all who was watching. He glamoured his discarded street clothes into a handful of coins, sliding them into his pocket (he could, of course, have not bothered changing at all and simply glamoured the whole thing - but where was the fun in that?) before following Babs to their collection of props, confident that he knew precisely what to do and when, watching appreciatively as Babs handled her cards. Marveling because she really was something to see.

Maya finished off the drink she'd stolen off the stage as Fane came back out to announce the next act. She almost didn't remember to swallow before wolf whistling again for Dani and Ruby.

Ruby was standing with Dani, waiting on their names to be called. She really didn't feel nervous, but she'd only ever done this in the training room. But what the hell. Her sword was in it's sheath in her hand, a long, curved katana that she'd been using for just over a year now. Ruby walked across to the far side of the stage, reaching into a small pouch at her side and bringing out what looked like a black ball about the size of a tennis ball. She didn't say much, just waited on Dani to take their own spot opposite. When they were set, Ruby tossed the ball into the air, in a high arch towards Dani, as they did the same. At the right time, Ruby pulled her sword from the sheath in a great sweeping arch, slicing the ball in half and exploding glitter and sparks all across the stage, while the same happened on Dani's side. "Just in case you thought they weren't real," Ruby said towards the audience as the glitter died down.

"He dreams of being my boyfriend," Bellamy teased, knowing Ryden had no intention of dating considering what had only just happened to him but knowing that wasn't anyone else's business. "No, my boyfriend has his kids right now, he might be by later," she smiled of Miles. "Ryden just enjoys being handsome around me, plus he works at my restaurant."

Ryden, apparently, was absolutely clueless that each outfit was supposed to represent a person. "Oh! So, one was like, inspired by me? Heh, which one?" When Darla assumed something slightly inappropriate but definitely amusing, Ryden barked out a loud but charming laughter, energetic, boyish and showing off the unnaturally white, sharp canines. "Naw. Just her sex slave."

Ephram saw Cassie and rushed to join her, neverminding her fella being around. "Hey!" he greeted her, waving. "Heeeeey! Are you gonna do a talent? Thing? Up there later?"

Bella smirked, shaking her head. "How rude that you couldn't tell," she pouted playfully. "Leather jacket and exceptionally tight blue jeans, that's like all you wear."

Darla took in this information, just listening for now but not letting go of Bellamy one fraction. "I dunno," she mused, "if jeans should be anything other than exceptionally tight. On the right people." She looked at Bellamy, her long lashes sweeping slowly as she then looked over at Ryden.

The crowed around him seemed to explode into cheers when the sliced ball exploded into magical sparks and glitter, which of course gave the globe a further lively shimmer. "Good going Ruby," Iann said, clapping and whistling some more. And Dani too, but Iann knew this wasn't the tiny human's only performance for the night. Savins never did things by halves.

Cassie looked through some of the crowd, trying to spot Lilo with Addie since they shouldn’t have been too far behind. They might have been doing two different acts, but they did in fact arrive together. “Hmm?” Cassie turned eyebrows raising when she saw Ephram. She took a step back so she could see all of him and nodded, fixing her jacket some, “Yeah gymnastics. Balance beam. What about you? Performing some rockin’ Cotton Eyed Joe or something?”

Lilo was standing next to Cassie, colorful rainbow baby strapped to his chest in some kind of new-fangled papoose, his guitar case in one hand. He was feeling pretty good about the whole talent thing at first. Now he was feeling less than chopped liver with how Ephram, rude and unrepentant, breezed past him.

The swords were very, very sharp. Not blunted or charmed. She and Dani had practiced a long time for Ruby to move up to real blades. But they weren't done yet. The color was just to show the authenticity of the blades themselves.

Lilo standing next to Cassie after sneaking up from the crowd of course. He hadn't announced himself yet.

"A boy can dream yo~ Dreams are for free and sometimes they git wet~" Ryden landed a quick peck on her cheek. "Oooh okaaay, nice! And I'm not rude, I'm poor and have no fashion sense." He then realized he didn't really properly introduced himself to this other woman. "And who's your friend?" Now this look from Darla he did not miss. A terribly charming smirk pulled at the corner of his lips. Ryden didn't use his charm on Bellamy, simply for the fact that she was taken and he wasn't the homewrecker type. But with Darla, he turned the charm up full bast, like the perfectly sculpted muscles and a handsome face weren't enough.

Fane pulled out his phone, typing off a quick text to Ryan about bringing Bear around soon since they were presently between acts and he knew he would probably be up soon.

"Only sometimes?" Bella teased, a little defensive as Ryden seemed to have taken the attention of the woman, as Bella suspected that he would. It wasn't like Bellamy was delusional, Darla was...crazy hot and sweet and adorable, least so far, but she had Miles and she still considered it cheating even if it wasn't with a dude, but it had felt pretty nice to have someone be so immediately excited about knowing her. Most people tended to be a little more resistant these days. Even Ryden she'd had to put in a bit of effort with. "This is Darla," Bella said, pulling her closer, to the place Darla had pulled away from.

Ephram paused in accosting Cassie to holler at the stage and clap loudly, highly resembling a Wookie more than anything. "Gymnastics!" he half-shouted at Cassie before remembering to turn down the volume again. "I cain't wait to see it, that's sure gonna be a sight to see." He couldn't help biting his lip at the idea of it, gaze traveling over Cassie's form before he pulled himself together enough to snort at her question. "Din't nobody ask me to do nothin'," Ephram declared, "so I took that as a hint." Belatedly, Ephram noticed Lilo and stared at him with that thoughtful look again before saying, "oh, hey, din't see you there, Lilo."

To say Dani was brimming with excitement might have been an understatement. Nothing thrilled them quite like the prospect of a sword fight, and now that Ruby had honed her skills, they were just as excited to show off what she had learned. Dani held their blade loosely in their hand, giving it a quick spin as they reached the stage. As they had planned, they tossed their sphere of glitter to Ruby as Ruby did to them. It was essential they demonstrate that this wasn't just a mock spar. That wouldn't be nearly as thrilling. "Because what fun would that be?" Dani grinned out at the audience and proceeded to walk to the opposite end of the stage from where the other woman was standing. Her instructor eyed her across the space as if to inquire whether or not she was ready.

"I'm Darla," she repeated, reddened lips curling into a smile as she nestled back against Bellamy but kept looking at Ryden. "Bella's taken me under her wing, isn't that the most sweetest, wonderfullest, kindest thing you ever heard?" She turned and kissed Bellamy's cheekbone, leaving a little slick of gold-flecked gloss.

Lilo offered a small little wave. "Oh hey Ephram, you excited to see Cassie's gymnastying all over the stage too?" He pushed himself into the conversation just as cheery as he could. Bouncing off and on to give Addie a playful and wiggly ride.

Ruby circled a bit as Dani moved, keeping her own place for the fight. When Dani stopped and eyed her, Ruby gave a dip of her head and pointed her sword at Dani in the ready position. Music started playing in the background.

Ruby: http://youtube.com/watch?v=s0hNYub-y5E

“Nothing?” Cassie said a little surprised. After all, it seemed like plenty of people had gotten wound up in the show. She shrugged, “I suppose we need just as many supportive audience members anyways.” Cassie laughed, turning when Ephram mentioned Lilo she smiled when she saw him. “Not all over the stage.” Cassie waved her hand to clear any confusion. “They’re hardly set up for that. Anyways, Lilo’s singing with Addie.” She announced for the other man’s benefit. “Which is just the cutest.”

The Watcher stands up to get a better look. Makes "whoo" sounds, again with a thick slavic accent.

Ephram nodded solemnly. "Wouldn't miss Cassie gymnastying for the world," he drawled, a smirk just barely crossing his face before he was distracted by Addie. "Well now -- ain't that gonna be jes the sweetest thing!"

"Hey Darla~" Ryden practically purred her name, looking her up and down with bright gray eyes. "How come I never seen ya around? I usually notice pretty things real quick." Looking back at Bellamy, his grin widened. "She does that, yes. Took this stray pup in too. Back when I was hangin' out in a cardboard box with an adopt me sign around me neck."

Bella felt the kiss to her cheek and leaned into it, feeling the stickiness of the gold gloss on her now, not wiping it away. "Too distracted by other pretty things maybe?" Bellamy suggested.

Lilo: always seemed to grow an inch taller under Cassie's praise, no matter what it was. "Aww, Addie is going to be the star of that performance, yes she is. Yes she's gonna steal everybody's heart." He held out his hand, letting Addie grab at his fingers.

Darla visibly went all slinky at the tone of Ryden's voice, explaining, "I just got here! Brand spanking new in town and ready to get to know people." She beamed at them both. "Like you two. Already such nice, generous, beautiful company." Darla shifted, a circuit of her hips brushing against them both lightly enough that it could have been deliberate or totally innocent. 

"Well we're a beautiful town," Bella agreed of Darla's comment but was confident Ryden couldn't be quite as generous as she could be, as conceited as that was. Darla seemed to draw close to both of them once more and Bellamy knew Ryden's comment about dreams was definitely going to be an issue that evening. "Maybe after the show you can help me take my clothes home," she suggested to Darla.

Cassie chuckled a little nervously at Ephram’s response, “Yeah, I don’t know how well I’ll do. It’s been a little while since I’ve done gymnastics formally. Other talents are probably more exciting too.” Cassie found gymnastics was sort of an acquired taste.

Dani waited for Ruby to find her stance before they settled into their own. They each had their own different styles of wielding a blade - Ruby with her favor for the katana and Dani's for blades with a slight curve to the edge. They were confident in Ruby's ability to both defend herself and advance, which was why Dani hadn't opted for much in the way of skin cover. And again -- this was all about putting on a show, right? As the music started, they allowed for a few tense seconds of stillness to pass before dashing forward to make a strike at Ruby's middle. Simple enough to dodge.

Maya cheered loudly as Dani and Ruby started to swordfight. She absolutely going to have to ask Dani to teach her that.

Darla pressed briefly against Ryden as she bent to fiddle with the strap of her shoe, giving him a glimpse of her breasts. "I am one hundred percent going to help you with those clothes," she said to Bellamy with a brilliant smile, the corners of her eyes crinkling from it. "I would love to see where you live, Bella."

Lilo clapped around Addie to not jostle her too much. "Look baby girl! Look at those cool people fight? Huh? Maybe you wanna be a real cool badbaby fighter. Well There will be two people to ask to teach you." Lilo grinned and smiled at Addie as she mostly cooed at the lights reflecting off the swords.

Ruby pulled the blade back over her shoulder, parallel with the ground as she waiting on Dani to advance. Her own outfit wasn't much different from Dani's, having grown used to the other woman's workout style as they'd trained. Dani came in with a fierce swipe towards Ruby's bare midriff, a move that would have split her open if it hadn't been blocked. Ruby swept her bladedown and pushed Dani's blow to the side, arching back up and advancing with a downwrds strike of her own towards dani's s houlder.

Fane figured that for the time being he wasn't specifically needed stage side, and so he wandered off to fetch a drink. Scanning the audience he spotted Maya and walked over. "Hey!" he gave her a one-armed hug "how you enjoying it so far?"

Bella if Darla wasn't looking she'd have poked her tongue out at Ryden she was that mature in this situation, but fortunately she was and instead just gave herself a short glimpse at what her movements were showing off. "Let's head out then," she smiled, grabbing the rack and Darla, actually poking her tongue out to her friend as she walked her off.

"Oooh, welcome then! Hope ya have a good time in this crazy town. We're all mad here~" Reference perfectly deliberate, Ryden added. "Yes, yes, and beautiful too." Smiling at the light kiss, he looked back to the stage, following Dani and Ruby's performance for a bit. Apparently, there was a sword fight going on there and he totally missed the view down Darkla's titty crack though he still placed a firm hand on her arm to help her balance. "Hooly shit, this is friggin' awesome~ Gotta watch this shit. Darla, if Bella ever gets ya to Erzebet's, I'lll gladly get ya a drink~" He winked at the taller blonde, swooping in to give Bella a quick kiss on her cheek. "Bye, babes."

Maya was so intent on watching Ruby and Dani that she didn't notice Fane until he was right next to her. She jumped a little before laughing. "It's been really amazing so far. Although I lost my hot dog," she wanted to finish that sentence to a hot dog, but decided that as much as Fane might appreciate the pun the person it was about might mitigate that.

Danny was not in the show as he had no real talents but hearing that Freddie would be he knew he had to make it. Unfortunately it seemed as though he had missed a few acts by the time he showed up. Sneaking in the back he patted Ryden on the back. "Hey mate," he said. "Miss a faerie and a human doing some magic?" Danny asked, wallaby by his side.

Ryden: "Oh hey mate! Uhh... Honestly, I didn't pay much attention. I think there weren't none ye-- what is that?" Ryden pointed at the wallaby, kind of weirded out by it.

"Oh, yeah, you didn't meet Steve last time," he said with a grin, looking to his side at the wallaby half his size. "This is my familiar, Steve," Danny introduced, the wallaby holding his hand out to Ryden. "He doesn't come with me on dates often so he was at home when you saved me from that psycho vamp."

Fane lightly jostled her once she settled, slightly playful and mostly relaxed. "I'm pretty happy with how it's come together honestly, surprising considering it was an absolute last minute flying by the seat of our pants put together by Iann and me" he smiled his eyes fixated on the stage as he spoke. The remark about her hot-dog however, earned a side-look from Fane, "you want another one?"

"Whoo!" Lilo whoo-hoo'ed the fight. Holding up Addie's chubby baby arms and letting them wiggle like she was cheering on the display herself. "Ahah, Cassie look at this!"

Cassie looked over at Addie when Lilo spoke to her. She scratched her chin watching the sword fighting for a moment before she said, “You might be better teaching her that. And I can teach her things like ballet and ice-skating.” Cassie leaned in to give the baby a little tickle.

Ryden couldn't help his eyes going wide as saucers as the creature stuck out its... paw? to shake hands. Ryden took it and shook it lightly, a big grin coming up on his face. Shit, he shook a kangaroo's paw! "Oh, okay, yeah, makes sense. What's a familiar??"

Faye had moved off to warm up a bit, and came back over now that the competition was underway. She heard the sound of metal on metal and paused to watch Dani and... was that Ruby?... sword fighting. "Shit," she said to herself, glad she had magic to defend herself with. She'd cut her arm off trying to do that. She moved over to where she saw Fane and Maya chatting. "Hey, girlie," Faye said, giving a lock of MAya's hair a gentle tug. "You joinin' in all the fun tonight?"

Lilo smiled at Cassie, "Hey! a kid who knows her ice-skating and sword-play is a well rounded kid!" Lilo grinned up at his fiance, then nodded at the crowd in general for someone to hear him an agree. He'd expected Ephram but supposed the man was slightly more engrossed with finding show snacks, or biting his husband's ears, or something akin to that.

"Dude, I'm a faerie, he's like my...magical buddy?" Danny tried to explain simply. It was an awful explanation of what Steve was and Danny got a pretty intense glare from the wallaby for it but for someone who didn't know it didn't seem that bad to Danny. "When I was born he just like...suddenly existed and I've had him ever since. He's much smarter than me though, got his own mind and all that."

"Oooh! Faeries get that??" Ryden was seriously impressed, staring at the familiar. "Meanwhile, I obviously get to turn into mine. Balls. How are ya man? Good? Neck healed up?"

Dani grinned when they felt their blade collide with that of Ruby's. Her response was swift and practiced, and Dani couldn't have been prouder. However, that didn't mean they were going to be nice about it. Ruby pushed their blade to the side and Dani moved with it, skipping back only to crouch as Ruby's katana came down. They turned the edge of their blade upwards, but at a slight tilt. When the two swords met, the smaller of the two fighters pushed forward by the balls of their feet, leaving a trail of sparks as blade slid against blade and the lower of the performers used their position to dart under their opponent's arm. They sprung back up behind her with a practiced grace, this time a swipe toward her neck.

Cassie “I agree.” Cassie nodded to Lilo before taking his arm and motioning over to a small group, “Let’s go say Hi to Faye and Fane. The other girl Maya is from last night too – remember?”

Maya nodded, "Yeah. It seemed a little..." She searched for a good word, "Last minute when Iann mentioned it yesterday." It still seemed to her like perhaps something else was going on, but she decided again not to ask about it. She shook her head, "Nah, but I should eat later." Now that she was less laser focused on the stage she heard Faye approaching and therefore didn't jump when she appeared. Shaking her head at Faye's question she replied, "Nah, I don't have any stage appropriate skills." She also wasn't a fan of being the center of attention either, which seemed to make her something of an outlier in the Savin family.

"I bet your wolf is awesome though, dude, most people think I'm a wolf cause I'm just huge and hairy but as you have witnessed I don't have your strength," Danny complimented, running his fingers over top of Steve's head while he watched what was happening upon the stage, it was quite interesting to him. "Yeah, necks all good, bloods all back in my body. Now to find a new vampire to hopefully not murder me," Danny laughed.

Lilo let Cassie lead him to be more social, "Oh yeah! Sounds good!" Along the way Addie saw the big fuzzy wallaby, and wiggled to see it more clearly. "Puppy! Puppy!" It wasn't quite right, but that was Addie's best animal reference, and she made little grabby hands towards Danny's familiar.

Ruby was taller than Dani, and that sometimes gave her an advantage. As she blocked the strike and Dani backed away, she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. Though she didn't let it distract her for one second. Because Dani wasn't going to let up. Sparks flew as the swords met again and Dani used their smaller size to put Rubys' back to them. She felt more than saw the strike coming and dipped forwards, catching herself on one hand before swiping a leg out in an attempt to catch Dani off guard before she pulled around in another sweeping arch.

"I have no friggin' idea, I feel anythin' but cool when I go wolf. Mostly I just end up shittin' squirrels for the next week." Ryden shrugged. "Hey, ya be careful yo, don't let 'um terminally anemic chicks get ahead of ya~" He chuckled but was actually relieved Danny was okay now.

"Everyone got stage skills," Faye grinned, though she knew her opinion was biased. She didn't say anything else about it though, since it wasn't a big deal. EVeryone seemed to be having fun, so that was the important part. "You call Ryan yet?" Faye mentioned to Fane. She knew he was bringing Bear up for an act, and didn't want him to have forgotten in all the other things he had going on.

Danny "Ew, as a freakin' human?" Danny asked, frowning in shocked. That sounded fucking disgusting, no wonder Steve was a vegan. Danny laughed at the guys joke and shook his head. "Nah, I don't normally chase vampires, but it happens sometimes. They're so strong, it's super hot to me. You got anything going on right now, mate?"

Fane smiled, now that Faye was here he slipped his free arm around her waist lightly kissing her cheek. "Yeah, he'll be over probably just after the next act so guess it'll be me up there in the spotlight."

"YUP." Ryden confirmed, his blank expression revealing that he was completely unamused by that himself and definitely really grossed out but unlike Danny, he was cursed to get used to it. "Well, at least I think it was a squirrel. Coulda been a rat. I don't know." He shrugged. "Uhh, right now? No, just watchin' the show. I've already been up there, done my thing."

"I can't wait to see you up there," Faye said, leaning close. It had been a busy day, and they'd not seen each other much, so she'd steal whatever time she could get.

"Least it's just squirrels and rats and not like...humans," Danny pointed out, that would probably not be something anyone could just get used to. "I meant you sleeping with anyone?" Danny laughed, shaking his head. "Tell me what you did though up there."

Maya made a face and said in a perfect imitation of a teenager, "Oh my gawd are you guys going to make out? Is this what it means to have parents? That they make out in public. Ewwwwww."

Ryden: "Hopefully..." Ryden shifted awkwardly where he stood because, well... maybe he did. The mere thought made a shiver run up his spine. But the next much brighter topic put a grin on his face "I've... sneaked into some beds, sure. And uh, I did some flair bartending I guess. You gonna do anythin'?"

Faye snorted. "I mean... we can? I'm up for some PDA if you are, love?" Faye said to Fane. She was kidding - mostly - because this was a family friendly show. But she coudln't help the light teasing.

Danny "Hopefully...I mean, no one in town has died lately, right? Except, you know...old people," Danny assumed. Ryden would have had to have checked if he was worried about it, right? "Some beds, nice," Danny nodded his head. Of the people around here admittedly he hadn't snuck into that many. "Oh nah, I'm a talentless dude, I'm only good at getting my arse kicked and this isn't the place for that."

Fane lifted his eyes from Dani and Ruby on the stage to the orb that spun reflecting the lights across the audience, it seemed to practically be humming with life and brightening all the more with each act that came on and performed. Good. At this rate the town wouldn't be destroyed and they would be able to get their local geologist back from the quagmire she had unfortunately been nymph-napped into. Maya's impromptu exclamation caused him to draw his attention back. "I'd hardly say that classifies as making out," he stage-whispered to Faye then "clearly she doesn't know what it is" giving Faye a gentle squeeze where he had his arm looped about her waist.

Faye had leaned against Fane, looping an arm casually around his shoulders and toying with the ends of his gold-flecked hair as she watched Ruby and Dani start to head towards the end of their routine. "Mmm, maybe we should clarify?"

Maya laughed, "Do you want me to tell you just how much I know about making out? I'd be happy to provide details." She stuck her tongue out at Fane. "I think I'm going to grab something to eat quick, anyone else want something?" she asked.

Fane almost purred under Faye’s attentions, little though they were, but he shot Maya a mildly disturbed look. “Yeah-- no thanks love, as much as I’d happily entertain you I don’t want to be scarred by Maya’s exploits.” Specifically because of who he knew they involved and it was generally a bit weird anyhow.

"True." Which Ryden didn't really check because he just hoped he didn't step over that particular line. He was pretty sure he didn't. He'd remember THAT, wouldn't he?? "Pshhh come on, can't be that bad." He grinned at Danny, giving him a light jab in the shoulder.

Danny "I am exceptionally talentless, mate," he grinned. He had talents really but nothing that could be displayed on stage. "I'm going to go find Freddie and wish him good luck though. Don't eat anyone," Danny taunted, walking off.

Though there was a disadvantage by default fighting someone who was taller than you, Dani had grown up training with people who were taller than them - primarily their father and his progeny. But their father and his progeny had trained Sam, as well. Dani had been sparring with him for over two decades, and fortunately, Ruby was only an inch off his height. The moment her hand hit the ground, they knew what was coming, because they had taught Ruby that trick, as their guardians had taught them. Believe it or not, swordplay wasn't just about sword skills. They timed the move in their head, tapping into the muscle memory of every time they'd been knocked on their ass in practice. Instead of attempting to dodge it, they held fast until it was almost too late. When the moment hit, they hopped, just barely, like skipping a jumprope, and Dani used that brief period between her movement and her return to make a move of their own. As Ruby swept around, Dani stepped into the swing and met her blade at a perpendicular angle. The risky closeness allowed them, with a smirk, to hook their leg around her ankle and pull - which threw her off balance and onto her back. They circled her with their blade pointed down, still wearing that smirk, though an encouraging light still lingered behind their golden eyes. "Tired, yet?"

Ruby had expected Dani to counter, but she was NOT expected to be flat on her back so quickly. She let out a grunt, but immediately brought her sword up into a defensive posture, her eyes following Dani as they circled her. This was a dangerous position to be in, and a few months ago Ruby would have admitted defeat. But she had learned from some of the best. She grinned, breathing hard but not winded. "Hardly." She swiped her up towards Dani's, sparks flying as the blade was pushed away with just enough time for Ruby to leap to her and come at Dani again, using their momentum against them as they had to back up to keep out of range. The two went back and forth until finally, after a flurry of flashing steel and swiftly moving bodies, sword met flesh: Dani's sword under Ruby's chin. With a grin, having no qualms about not being the victor, Ruby consented defeat, lowering her sword. But not the grin on her face. "Took you long enough," she told Dani before the two stood, bowed, and exited the stage for the next act.

The Watcher approves and applauds. "Is good show. Even without ze blood."

Lilo was just minding his business, intent on grilling Fane if there was some sort of bet between him and Iann, and maybe setting up a playdate with Wyn and Addie when Addie started screaming. "Puppy! Puppy! Pet! LET PUPPY!" 

Cassie looked over to what seemed to be taking the baby’s attention. Cassie wouldn’t be surprised if it was a puppy, but it wasn’t even close. Which caused Cassie to laugh out loud, “That’s not a puppy, silly girl.” She shook her head, “It’s a wallaby-“ She side glanced at Lilo, “That must, of course, belong to someone.”

Lilo sighed, always one to indulge. "Okay, okay, lets go say hi to the not-puppy and maybe find the, it's a fairy's thing right? The famly-mer, Fairy family member thing?" Lilo asked Cassie beside him as they meandered closer to Danny. Maybe beg the guy to indulge the child who just seemed obsessed with the new animal, eyes boggling, and yup Lilo was already holding her little hands in his so they wouldn't get too grabby.

Realising he would be needed up on stage again, Fane stole another quick kiss from Faye apparently this would be a night of short lived moments and with a final squeeze slipped away from the group. Taking up the microphone again to continue hyping up the audience ahead of announcing, “the marvellous, the mysterious, the beautiful -- GREATEST FITZGERALD!!”

Babs heard the announcement of their act and a rush of adrenaline surged through her spine. Applause hit her like a wave when she entered the stage, and just as they'd planned, Freddie began to glamour up some smoke to make her entrance all the more magical. "Good evening everyone!" she boomed, holding her hands out to address the crowd. Already more were paying attention to her than that fateful night in Vegas. A good sign. "I'm so pleased to be part of this wonderful celebration of love and acceptance. I'm well aware that many of you have magic interwoven with your everyday lives, but tonight I'd like to regale you with my own brand of magic. If my lovely assistant would join me on stage please?"

Freddie When Babs called for him, Freddie stepped out onto the stage, and crossed smoothly to his mark, smiling at the audience and then at Babs herself. She looked beautiful - confident and radiant, nerves quelled in the wake of the applause - and the crowd was clearly already held in the palm of her hand; intrigued at the prospect that this woman might show them something they hadn't seen before. Or hadn't taken the time to appreciate in a very long while. Freddie found Ephram in the midst of that sea of faces easily enough, blew him a little kiss, then placed himself entirely in Babs' lovely and very dexterous hands.

Danny had not been able to find Freddie and assumed he must have been ready to go on stage soon when he saw Lilo and Cassie coming up to him with a tiny child. This must have been the baby they'd mentioned at the Halloween thing, he hadn't seen either since then but remembered their costumes happily. "Hey man, you in the show?" Danny asked, Steve next to him, unaware of the child's interest in him.

Lilo brightened, and almost jumped for joy (were it not for the baby in front of him he may have) to see the fairy in questions was cool-guy Danny. "Danny! Buddy!" Lilo let go of one of his grabby baby's hands and reached out to shake Danny's. "We're both in the show. I mean, all of us, all three." He grinned, Addie's free hand reaching perilously close to Steve's incredibly soft looking fur. "puup puppy...." Addie whispered in aww.

Cassie recognized the fairy when she followed Lilo up to him. Cassie smiled in recognition, giving a little wave. “Hey it’s been a while ah-“ She glanced between the excited baby and the clearly indifferent wallaby, “Would your familiar indulge a super happy baby for just a pat or two?”

Maya returned with a small boat of fries just as Babs and Freddie were starting their magic show. She looked on curious. A magic show wasn't something she expected since it was a magical town. In truth it just made her more curious to see what they might do.

Danny shook the man's hand, giving him a happy and messy sort of grin, surrounded by hair. "Nice, dude, you each have more talent than I got," he assured them, looking down at Addie who seemed to be reaching for Steve, his eyes then moving to his familiar who was already quite invested in getting attention, coming forward and putting his paw on her gently while ducking his head down so she could reach. "Guess he don't mind, sure he's happier being called a puppy than a Wallaby."

Miguel had been enjoying the open mic night a lot. He had thought it would be angsty teenagers and poems but as the night turned into a more fun based talent show he was sort of happy he was wrong. And a little embarrassed because he had definitely been projecting. He watched as his silly blanquita friend did her ‘magic’. Which had a finesse and grace to it that he could appreciate. She was good at what she did, he would give her that. And with her hands not aching, she could do more of what she loved easier. He almost didn’t feel guilty for using her to get to witch bones, since it had helped her too. He watched as the little neighbor family started bothering a fairy and Addie pet it. Miguel thought about waving and offering up his own familiar (who for all intents and purposes was just a happy friendly dog who would LOVE to play with the child) but it seemed like the... kangaroo thing... didn’t mind. Still Miguel waved at Lilo and Cassie.

Faye glanced over at the stranger, eyeing him a bit cautiously. She'd never seen him around. But whatever. There was enough firepower here between everyone that if someone got too weird it'd be handled.

Cassie “Lilo is going to sing with Addie.” Cassie said before motioning to herself, “I’m doing gymnastics so…a little different. They’ll be a lot cuter.” She watched Steve react to happy and mesmerized Addie before glancing back to Danny, “She really likes animals.”

Lilo "Ay! Thanks' man, you are the best." Lilo nodded and took a snug seat besides Steve so Addie could reach comfortable. Her calls of 'puppy' devolving into more baby like babble as she rubbed her hands along the familiar's fuzzy face and ears, even getting her face down in there. Lilo looked up at Cassie for approval. "Hey! let's hope we don't find out she's allergic to marscapones like this huh?" He meant marsupials, but he was just so off. "Oh hey!" Lilo saw Miguels wave and motioned for him to come closer, not wanting to move and interrupt Addie communing with nature, or whatever she was doing. He was still under the impression she was a werewolf baby, and assumed she might be in a phase that involved scenting. "Hey hey! Miguel comeover! you got something planned?"

“Miguel!” Cassie called while waving him over, “You enjoying the talent?” It’s funny, she almost never saw him and then in the past few days she saw her neighbor several several times.

"Damn, this cute," Danny said of Lilo and Addie singing together before laughing a little at what Cassie was intending to do. "Basically going to make sure every guy in this place knows Lilo lucked out then," he said to Cassie before smirking. "I don't even know if he'd have like marsupial fur or anything, she could be and still not react to him, being magic and all."

Miguel held in a groan as he got up and made his way to the cute little family (plus fairy friend and familiar). Moly wagged her tail and trot along next to him. He was just very tired from all the pride stuff. But as he sat next to Lilo he was content with the move and the new seat. “I don’t think so. I mean, I don’t think I’ll do anything. I didn’t sign up or anything. But I am really enjoying the show.” He smiled at everything and then focused on the fairy. “Hey, I don’t think we’ve met before. I’m Miguel.” He held out his hand. “Cassie, Lilo, and Addie are my neighbors,” he explained with a grin. “And if your familiar gets tired of pets, Addie is more than welcome to dote on Molly.”

"Danny," the Aussie man offered, his accent thick as he shook the guys hand. "Nice to meet you mate, I don't think I'm much of anything to them but some guy they meet at parties but I like 'em," he said of the werewolf couple. "Oh he loves kids, better than adults because they talk directly to him instead of to me, but hey, why have just one fluffy thing to play with?"

Lilo nodded at Danny's remark, although the reminder of an entire crowd seeing how hot his fiance was, was a different kind of sensation. He'd break that one down later. "AHah, yeah she sure reminds me of how lucky I am everyday." Lilo winked at Cassie, smiled widely at Miguel, and just about all his attention was yanked away, grabbed, hogtied among many other things by Freddie the Magician's Assistant's suit. It was bright, sparkly, magical, and a perfect accompaniment to the lady magician's sleek outfit. "Ooooh man I love magic shows. Always freaked out at how they did this stuff as a kid. Fingers were too thick to really do a card trick right any time I tried it myself though."

Cassie waved away Lilo’s thought of allergies. Cassie doubted it very much. She was delighted when Miguel and Molly joined them and motioned to Addie still held up in the carrier on Lilo’s chest, “Oh let her out for a few minutes.” Addie’s reaction to animals was almost too precious to handle, “She won’t go far with two fuzzy playmates.” She pursed her lips momentarily when Lilo winked at her. It wasn’t hard to guess what Danny meant, but Cassie took it as a simple compliment regardless. Cassie regarded the magic act for a moment, “It’s probably just real illusions with Freddie up there, right?”

Danny "No clue, he didn't give me the details but I don't know if he'd compromise things that way, less it made him look good," Danny said of his handsome friend up on stage, grinning wildly. Steve might have cared more had Ollie been up there but for now he was content to be played with, the child's fingers feeling wonderful in his fur.

Ephram hoisted Ollie up higher, having dashed home to fetch the little Chin in order for him to witness his fairy's-- "No, he's not making a spectacle of himself, c'mon," Ephram wheedled the familiar. "He's performing! There's a big difference. And look how beautiful he is. You cain't deny he's dazzling." Ollie gave a snuff in response, but Ephram noticed that he held his ears more perkily as he watched the show.

Lilo began to snap off the baby restraints and life Addie to her own seat. Surrounded by soft fuzzy things to hug and no idea where to start she gurgled with joy. "Okay, okay, I few seconds of baby free time." Lilo agreed to Cassie's request and smiled from Danny to Miguel. "Hey! Are we the couple that everyone will hang out with if they through barbecues and stuff? I would love to be that couple." Then as a last minute though he scrunched his nose at Cassie. "Ayyy, lobocita, have more faith in the mysterious magician woman. I bet you ten nights of dishes that Freddie is just up there to look pretty."

Iann there was some minor panic at the food/drink stalls that pulled Iann away from the stage for a bit, but fortunately he returned just in time to see Babs and Freddie take the stage and it felt so surreal and unrealthat Iann. It felt like the past and present colliding, and the oddest and most unpredictable patterns and connections and threads weaving together between Babs here and Babs then, between Freddie and Mala, between himself and...himself. It was enough to make Iann believe in fate, but he still stubbornly refused. Instead he just wobbled on his feet, then reached out to grab whoever was closest to him, just to catch his balance. "Whoa...wow..."

Maya jumped a little as a hand fell on her shoulder. She turned to see Iann. "You okay dude?" she asked, brow furrowing in confusion.

Ephram stared down at the hand grasping him and heard an exasperated huff from Ollie, which really, should have told him who the person was. "Hey," he said without any real anything in his voice. "Hey, Cardero. Freddie looks pretty good up there huh? Real ... assistanty."

As Fane moved off to go meet Ryan and Bear for their upcoming act, and Maya shimmied off to talk to someone she knew, Faye looked around, seeing a few people she hadn't talked to yet. The act on stage - Freddie and a woman that looked... eerily familiar, but who Faye couldn't get a good look at from here - was winding up, so she moved off to say hello to Cassie and Lilo. "Hey there Papa Wolf," Faye said, tapping Lilo on the shoulder. "Long time no see." Her eyes moved around the little group. "Danny. How are ya? Doc," she greeted Miguel as well before waving to Cassie.

"I mean you guys should definitely have a barbecue," Danny agreed. He actually sort of missed stuff like that. They were pretty common back home. Happily he noticed Ollie being held up by Freddie's partner Ephram and the fae smiled as he seemed so happy to see his husband performing on stage. Freddie was a lucky guy.

"Fuzzy!" Addie cooed up to Faye in greeting, halfway onto Steve's 'lap' and only now noticing Molly to crawl toward. "Pups!"

Cassie blinked at Lilo, “Oh I didn’t mean…well it’s just we know Freddie but have you ever seen that woman?” Cassie asked about Babs up on stage. It wasn’t like there was a rule the magic couldn’t be real. Cassie had just been curious. She held out a hand near Addie as the baby moved between the two differing familiars trying to decide how to lavish attention to both at once. “Faye, hi.” Cassie grinned back.

Iann gripped Maya's shoulder tight, but not like tight that she'd crumple or even bruise. Just firm and heavy like a warmed-up beanbag heating pad suddenly slumped on her shoulder. His other hand fish-flopped uselessly on Ephram's back trying to find purchase and failing. "Are you okay?" Iann snapped but it was hardly aimed at Maya specifically so much as a reflex retort. Iann blinked and focused on Maya first, then up at Pettaline. He gave a smile that flailed under his moustache. Iann let Maya go and pointed to the stage. "Look how cool that is. That's my Aunt Babs. We're not related-" She used to bang my mom "- but you know how you call people Aunt. Well, you wouldn't know," Iann said looking down at Maya. "your childhood was a trainwreck. And I don't know about you Pettaline I'm sure 'y'all' had ten different appalachian slangs for all sorts of folk."

Faye smiled. "Yess, Steve is fuzzy... unless you mean my hair, huh baby?" Faye leaned her fluffy hair down towards Addie, a bit of gold glitter drifting towards the little girl and the wallaby familiar.

Molly wagged her tail and crawled low to the ground to seem less intimidating - not that that was a problem for Addie. Miguel just watched with a wry smile.

“There could be a barbeque for the fourth of July?” Cassie offered to Lilo next.

"Hey, lady," Faye said to Cassie, her violet eyes flicking to Lilo and back, eyebrows raising in a 'you didn't tell me daddy was back?' look. Though it was simply curious, nothing more. And Faye continued to smile at her friend and the toddler near her feet.

Ephram nodded, unperturbed. "And none of em were 'y'all'. That's further down South you're talkin'." Ollie grumpily tucked himself further back into Ephram's elbow, possibly so he wouldn't have to entertain Iann's presence if it wasn't strictly necessary. "So yon fancy magic lady up there is one'a your Aunts? She the one who got you all het up for magic business?"

Danny turned as Faye approached her friend, giving the woman a wink and a smirk. "Hey, darling," he said to her.

Maya continued to look at Iann in concern. His hand remained tight on her shoulder, not painful, but still seeming to steady him. "Well I have fries so," she replied to answer what wasn't really a question. When Iann pointed to it she looked at the stage. Nodding she replied, "Yes, my childhood was a trainwreck, but I understand the concept. So she was like your mom's best friend?" It was in that sort of context that Maya had heard other people use the term, so she figured it was a safe guess.

Ruby had put her things away and gotten a drink of water while the other acts went on. Freddie and a lady she didnt' know. Ruby moved closer to watch, seeing Ephram, Iann, and Maya standing around watching. "What about aunts?" she said, sidling up next to Iann and giving Maya and Ephram a wave, unwrapping the tape from her fingers after her act with Dani.

Lilo held out his now free hand to Cassie's to hold. "Oh I didn't mean anything by it either, and no I dunno who that lady is. But a 4th of July barbecue sounds perfect." He was now too busy wrapped up smiling at his fiance to see Addie's conundrum. She had but two hands, one of them reaching to tug on Faye's pretty golden curls, another fisted into marsupial fur, and she needed yet another to pat the good doggy's head. It was almost too much to deal with, she might cry.

Faye: "Hey Danny, long time no see. How you been?"

Danny "I've been good, missed you, darling," he flirted openly. He probably shouldn't have been, considering her boyfriend was hosting the event but Danny figured that Faye knew it was a light hearted thing that didn't mean anything. "Without you I've been getting into a whole lot of mess." Finally he turned to Cassie and Lilo though. "I will show up even though I obviously don't have much investment in Fourth of July," Danny laughed. May 8th had already passed so he would accept it.

Faye said as she had to stand back up or risk Addie snatching all her curls down. Though it left the little girl with a hand covered in glitter.

Ephram shushed Ollie when the little dog made an entirely exasperated noise, and leaned over to hug Ruby in greeting. "Oh, y'know," he said, "how some of us got aunts a-plenty and some've us don't. I would say it's mostly a Southern thing but that wouldn't account for Cardero here, what with one've his aunts bein' up on stage as we stand here."

Ruby: "Right," Ruby nodded. "Like real aunts, and your mom's friends that're aunts, and the little lady down teh street that's an aunt... folks at church you ain't never met that''re aunts..." Ruby craned her neck to see the blonde woman on stage with Freddie. "I can see the family resemblance," Ruby said, grinning back at Iann.

Lilo Addie shook her glittered hand, a solution suddenly found. She moved to wipe the sparkles off in Molly's fur, and giggled when they caught the light.

Iann snapped again, this time focused at Pettaline. "She's not 'one of my Aunts'," he said sounding insulted, then felt a surge of guilt for sounding insulted. God, he could be such a fucking dick sometimes. He fumed though, his anger not subsiding because it felt good and it felt way better than those...other...inexplicable feelings of feelingness. "And how do you know about--? Oh right." Anaxis. Demons had a way, after all, of getting into your head and reading all those delicious little secret thoughts. It made Iann instinctively knock his knees together, just for a moment. "No she's a human," Iann responded. He looked at Maya and the anger subsided into a not-so-pleasant dullness. Iann worried and fretted internally, looking up at the globe. He didn't want to ruin the energy-filling orb's record with himself. Fortunately the ooh's and ahhh's on the stage were enough, he supposed, and Iann pulled himself out of his morass by reminding himself (in his mother's annoyed voice in the back of his mind, no less) that while he was busy being a floppy loser, he was missing Babs and Freddie's performance. "Idiot!" Iann chided himself, then stared at the stage hungrily, hand curled over his mouth as he watched Babs and Freddie. "Hm?" he glanced down at Maya. "Oh yeah, yeah. Family friends and all that. " Ruby showed up and Iann gave her a wan smile at her joke, then returned his attention avidly to the stage. He couldn't miss a second of this. Not for anyone else and damn well not for himself.

"Have you now?" Faye smiled. "And I'm glad you're good. Haven't been by in a bit, I know. " Fane knew Faye was a bit of a flirt, and he knew about Danny, so he wouldn't mind a bit of harmless flirting. "No real trouble I hope?" she asked a bit more seriously. "You know if you ever need anything..." she told him, though something on stage drew everyone's attention for a moment.

Cassie nudged Lilo, “There you go, see we know Danny will come.” One person was all they needed really, but Cassie would never refuse a good barbeque. “It’s a splendid idea.” Her gaze dropped to Addie who was wiping glitter and tugging at Faye, “Be gentle.” She warned softly, crouching down for a moment to try and properly get the baby’s attention. But with so much excitement, it wasn’t very successful.

Maya's concerned expression didn't leave her face. Something evidently was up with Iann. She didn't think he wanted her to ask though. At the very least not at the moment as he focused again on the stage. Therefore she said nothing to him instead replying to Ruby to say, "Yeah, that's definitely not a Massachusetts thing."

Ephram started when Iann snapped at him, at first bewildered at how this had become him being the one at fault when Iann was the one who'd been insulting in the first place. But as fast as he'd flared up, Cardero's ire got knocked back down and he looked weirdly ... crushed, for a moment. "I din't mean nothin' by it," Ephram said after a moment. But Cardero was staring at the act as if he needed to commit it to memory, so Ephram huffed a little breath and responded to Ruby. "I could do with havin' more Aunts in Soapberry," he said. "Or big sisters. I could have a bunch more of those."

"I actually got pretty fucked up - I mean...messed up," Danny corrected as he remembered their was a child present. "By this vampire chick. Bit my neck open, crazy sh-stuff." It was not something he imagined would surprise Faye but it still succked. "I need anything?" Danny asked Faye, moving to Cassie. "And I'll drag Freddie, who'll drag Ephram who'll probably drag some other people. You guys will have a bunch of people for a barbecue."

Ruby quick picking on Iann as he didn't have a snarky comeback. He seemed intent on the stage, on Freddie and on the blonde woman, so she let him be, though kept a nugget of concern tucked tight in her chest. She turned to Ephram. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I got a good big brother finally... outta Tuah. But I'd love a auntie to squeeze my cheek and feed me and tell me i looked too skinny."

Molly grinned her doggie grin and nuzzled into Addie. She cleaned the toddlers face with her tongue.

With Molly playing with Addie, Steve reached out and did the same as his human companion, seeing how the dog would react to this act.

Ephram was faintly bewildered by Ruby's statement. "Tuah?" he repeated. "Is Tuah in town again? Did I know you two was that close?" He squeezed Ollie tighter unintentionally until the Chin ruffed to alert him, and Ephram shook his head, blinking. "Jesus Lord. That one throwed me for a loop. Tuah's like your big brother." Honestly, Ephram couldn't see it, but that didn't mean such a relationship couldn't exist. He watched Freddie onstage, glittering and gleaming, letting the sight settle him back down.

Faye's brow furrowed in concern. "What? When?" She could see that he was alright, outwardly at least. But still. "God... I'm glad you're okay. You are okay right?" She followed the line of conversation to Cassie. "The day you get Freddie Watts to a barbeque is the day I eat one of Iann's hats."

Babs gave Freddie a huge grin as he came on stage, obviously soaking up the attention just as much as she was. Even though they'd only had one night to practice their routine, as they got into it it was obvious that Freddie was a quick study and a natural at this, pulling off all she'd asked of him and with flourish to boot. They began with a simple levitation, Babs laying Freddie out across two chairs and seeming to make him rise before her, pushing the chairs away and running a hoop around him to complete the illusion. Then they transitioned into a metamorphosis, where she locked Freddie into a chest, climbed on top with a curtain, and simply switched places in the blink of an eye. After a few more tricks in every magician's arsenal (she hadn't had time to come up with anything too special on such short notice) and some close up magic involving audience members, they were finally ready for the finale. As she locked Freddie into the rack contraption, she picked someone from the audience. "You there. Miguel, my dear, why don't you come up here and test these locks for me? Prove their real? And no funny business. This show had been free of your brand of magic so far."

Cassie “I’ll have to count on your popularity Danny.” Cassie chuckled. She didn’t even realize how many people they both knew until the fairy spelled it out. “You’ll get the word out better than an email.” She was slightly interrupted by Addie’s high giggles of delight, she clung onto the dog more before watching Steve interact with Molly in a quiet sort of interest. Almost giving Steve his own turn. “What?” Cassie arched a brow at Faye, “He’d come to a barbeque if Danny and I both asked him. And if Ephram made him. Probably.”

"Hasn't been for long," Ruby told Ephram. "Couple weeks? Maybe?" She glanced up at Ephram. "We've been friends for a good long while. You knew that." Didn't he? "He's as close to a brother as I've got yeah. He's... is that strange to you?" she asked suddenly. "I'm stayin' at his place for months now." Her tone was merely curious, nothing more. Did Ephram know that she and Tuah were close? Christ she couldn't remember so many things lately. Everything ran together.

"I dunno, a few weeks ago or something, maybe more recently?" Danny shrugged, not super focused on when it had happened. "Oh yeah, I am, this dude helped me, Ryden? Yeah, dude pulled her off me and called the cops and an ambulance and stuff," Danny continued to act dismissive about thee whole thing. "Of course he'll come if I ask, he loves me," Danny stated with a little shrug. "See, he loves us all. You don't like him?" Danny asked with a confused sort of look. Freddie was so generous to him.

Miguel smirked and excused himself. He left Molly with Addie and hopped up onto the stage. He tugged on the locks and smiled at Babs. “Feels good to me.” He gave her his lopsided wink

Ephram frowned. "Yeah, that shoulda been somethang I recalled." He took a breath and shook his head hard, doglike, and gave Ruby a reassuring grin. "Probly jes wrung out some. I must of ... missed you two gettin' close. Was that while we was together? Oh, wait, wait--" Ephram directed more of his attention to the stage, unconsciously mirroring Iann's stare as he intensely watched the magic tricks and Freddie's part in them. He also unconsciously made a thrumming sound in his throat as he watched his husband get locked down, until Ollie gave a disgusted sneeze. "Awright, awright," Ephram laughed. "I'll indulge in my dirty thoughts when you ain't around."

"Oh my god. Oh my god oh mygodohmyo--" Iann was enraptured. He couldn't remember - he was only three years old at the time, of course he couldn't remember - but it wasn't so much the catalogue of memory and timeline so much as it was of all thing, a feeling. An instinct, a sensory experience that couldn't be explained with words or visuals. Iann just felt a distinct thrill, one that he hadn't felt in a long time. Perhaps as long as almost 37 years ago. Could a toddler hold a memory like this? Iann didn't know and didn't care because all he cared about in this moment was reliving a lost moment. Reliving something that never happened, but it really, really should've. Reliving a sense of need and warmth and comfort and confusion and fear and glee and wonder, all wrapped up and aborted way back then. But it was allowed to carry through now - with The Greatest Fitzgerald and her lovely assistant Freddie Watts. And when Babs asked Miguel to the stage, that was almost a breaking point for Iann. He whooped and hollered and called out, eager to see Miguel do his part for the last trick of the night. It felt like he was watching himself outside, like an out-of-body experience. Connections and patterns and a fate he refused to believe in.

"Well, maybe if all of you ganged up on him," Faye conceded. She didn't get on with the man, but she didn't hate him either. He was important to Ephram, so Faye would be civil and respectful. Honestly, she had no reason not to be. She turned to Danny. "Yeah, I know Ryden. Big guy. Tatts. Jesus..." she said, looking mildly disturbed on her friend's behalf. But she shrugged as Danny asked about her liking Freddie. "We don't get on," she told him. "But it's mutual. I don't dislike him. He loves my brother and he's good to him. Makes him happy. But I don't like him either. I'm... Freddie Watts neutral."

"Yeah, he's pretty good looking for a guy," Danny acknowledged of thee way Faye described Ryden. Danny wasn't into guys but he also wasn't dumb. Girls liked big guys, especially if they weren't as hairy as a baby bear the way that Danny was. "Well I'm Freddie Watts loving, if I was gay and Ephram didn't exist I'd scope him up. As it is I'm straight and totally bombing when it comes to women. How did Fane get you?" he joked.

Ruby narrowed her gaze at Ephram just a bit. Not in frustration or anything of the sort, but with that searching look she'd always used when she was trying to tell if he was alright. "You could use a few days off maybe." It was just her opinion. He worked long, hard hours, and it would wear on a person. "Some of it was. We was friends while you an' me an' Freddie was together. He sorta... helped me through some rough stuff. During. After." Ruby shrugged, giving Ephram a smile as Ollie admonished him.

Lilo scooted to the edge of his seat. "Ayyy, the locks are real locks!" He was totally absorbed in the show and the display of it all, maybe not as much as Iann but then the man had less ties and history all wrapped up on the stage like some kind of psychological morality play. He was just here for the magic. Meanwhile, Addie was wrapped up in watching Steve the 'big puppy' in her mind due to the way she still cataloged information, petting molly the 'good puppy'. She didn't know it could work like this, she was transfixed.

Ephram fell back into pattern as well, giving a one-shouldered shrug as he tended to do when it was suggested that perhaps he should slow down from the steady grind of his job. He loved what he did, and he'd always had more stamina than a horse, so it wasn't something he'd do without being firmly instructed. "I reckon I'm surprised, is all," Ephram remarked in relation to Tuah. "Although Tuah does seem like a listener. Notsomuch a ..." Ephram sucked his teeth, trying to find the right word. Ollie nipped his thumb gently, and Ephram looked down at the dog, then said, "A person who'll say much back to you. Y'know, discuss shit out."

"He's alright," Faye nodded. Her type was a bit different. Still tall and dark. Romanian. Liked bad jokes and hot tea... with... gold dye in his hair that she wanted to just... run her fingers- Faye shook herself out of the daydream and turned back to Danny. "I'm sure Freddie would scoop you up too, fuzzy bear or not. And you can't tell me there's no one? At all?" She blushed as he asked about Fane. "Let's say that... the stars aligned and we both got lucky?" Which wasn't far from the truth.

Ruby didn't say much else on behalf of Ephram taking time off. She was certain Freddie would see to it, though as his friend, and someone who loved him, she would always worry. Ruby gave a small hum to Ephram comment on Tuah. "He listens. But he talks too. Eventually. Once he knows you're not gonna press him for anythin'. He's... hesitant though," Ruby nodded. '"But I think it's more he doesn't wanna bother anyone with his problems." She glanced at Iann, wondering if the two menhad made up since Tuah came back to town.

"I mean, I sort of liked this vampire woman but she seemed not all that into me, like I just felt like...," Danny started to talk but with so many people around clammed up, giving his head a shake as he pushed away the feelings he had about not being good enough for Lina. "Then I slept with this girl, Elena but she's such a mate, you know?" he shrugged his head. There had been a few others but not really many that stood out to him. "I'm not sure I got any stars aligning," Danny shrugged.

Babs gave Miguel an appreciative nod when he confirmed the locks were real and secure. "Thank you, sir." Once Miguel was gone from the stage again, she grabbed the handles of the rack, which was one wheels, and began to turn it on the stage. Once. Twice. Three times. Each rotation increase the speed. On the fourth turn, when the front came around again, it was Babs locked up instead, Freddie finishing the turn with a flourish. "The Assistant's Revenge! I should have known!" Her play acting wasn't the best, but the audience seemed to eat it up nonetheless. Freddie unlocked her from the rack and as the audience cheered, they took their bows and exited the stage, Babs panting with excitement. She grabbed Freddie's shoulders and kissed him on the cheek. "You were fantastic, darling!"

The Watcher stood up to applaud. "Pretty man iz very good. Pretty magician iz better. Thank you for the magics."

Freddie beamed as Babs kissed him, returning the gesture as applause thundered behind them. "Honestly, love, I had a wonderful time," he laughed, "I mean, that many people with their eyes on me, whilst a beautiful woman commands the action? How could it get any better?"

Babs placed a hand on Freddie's cheek. "Ever the flatterer. I feel this act is the ultimate assistant's revenge, given my history," she joked, but it was true. Her heart was brimming with triumph. "Thank you, Freddie. I couldn't have done this without you."

Freddie's smile softened and he covered Babs' hand on his cheek with his own, turning his face to press a kiss to the centre of her palm. "It isn't flattery when it's sincere, love - then it's only the truth." He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. "You were bloody brilliant tonight; I was just lucky enough to have the best seat in the house."

Faye: "It's hard when people seem more like friends, yeah." She hoped she wasn't misreading what Danny was saying. She didn't press him for more, but gave him an affectionate bump with her arm. "Everyone's stars align eventually," Faye said. "It's just a matter of knowin' which ones are yours."

"Which stars look like a gigantic bear having sex with something much cuter?" Danny joked, figuring that at the very least she was a witch and probably knew which stars looked like bears.

Iann laughed at Babs' play-acting, and even though he knew quite well that it was the final act, he was still feeling a loss when it actually ended. It was so great. And when Iann looked around, it was thrilling to see that the audience clearly thought so too. No booing at Babs, no heckling her or telling her a woman should stick to being an assistant. It was...kind of stupid and sad, but for the first time Iann could look around the rainbow-bedecked crowd and comprehend this concept of 'acceptance'. That whole gooshy feel-good bleeding-heart stuff that people liked to promote during Pride, finally Iann actually understood it. And really brought it back home, in an almost literal way. Iann wanted to die. "God, I want to die," he proclaimed, looking over his shoulder and down at Maya. "What's you think? Did you enjoy her act?" Iann was still clapping his hands, even though the rest of the audience had stopped.

Ephram hrrrm'd thoughtfully at Ruby's further elaboration, then whooped and hollered and whistled as the trick onstage came to a satisfyingly mind-bending finish, Babs and Freddie both soaking up the attention and adoration from the crowd. It was good to see Freddie like that, being admired out in public for something so ... homespun and small-town. So domestic. Once the two performers had left the stage, he picked up the conversation with Ruby, saying, "Well, I'm glad the two of you'n found some support in each other. That's the real important thing." Ollie, bored with this topic, set his front paws against Ephram's shoulder so he could look around at what was going on; Ephram held him up instinctively and said, "Oh! Your act was great, by the way. All them flyin' blades."

Maya cheered as Babs finished her act. She looked up at Iann, a little confused, when he proclaimed that he wanted to die. But his tone was happy enough she decided it was more of a if I died right now I'd be happy sort of thing. "It was really good," she replied with a smile, "And you said she was human? So no real magic to help her do all that?"

Iann His tone wasn't so much happy as sedate, his face earnest but unsmiling as he looked at Maya. "Good," he seemed to approve of Maya's answer, as if his question was a test. "Yep, she's pure unadulterated human. C'mon, you had to know that, you're an actual witch. A witch doing those illusions wouldn't be half as impressive. Thank god this crowd enjoyed a human performing our idea of 'magic'....it was the right time and place, I guess."

Ruby clapped too as the act finished up. It was amazing, and Ruby was proud of Freddie, who looked so at home out on stage. The blond woman had been astounding as well, and Ruby thought that she wanted very much to meet her soon. But sheturned back to Ephram whenteh applause - except for Iann - died down. "Thanks," she smiled. "He's a good friend. A good guy. But... I'm sure most folks know that." She figured they did if they knew Tuah. How could they not? She blushed a bit as he complimented her act with Dani. "Yeah? God, I can't believe I've been trainin' with them for over a year now. It's... shit but it's fun. So I'm glad it looked good too, thanks." She bumped him with her arm, careful not to jostle Ollie. "Can I carry a sword to work, by the way? Oh... actually. Hold that thought... I'll be right back." She touched his arm in apology and scooted off.

Babs simply offered a smile, the conversation getting a tad too mushy for her, giving his cheek a few more pats. "You'd better get back to your husband. I'm sure he quite enjoyed seeing you in chains tonight." She winked, before heading out into the audience, spotting Iann and heading straight for him. "Chiquito! Did you enjoy the show?"

Iann pulled himself together when Babs came to talk to him (he felt a little stupid for not charging over towards Freddie and Babs himself, but things were what they were) and grinned huge and wide. "That was fucking incredible. You were perfect. I felt like we went back in time and you did your first ever show and totally stuck it to all those fucking assholes. Jesus, look at you..." Iann couldn't help holding Babs' shoulders, giving her a once over from her flushed face down to her sleek gams (she still got it) back up again. "You're beaming. Must've been such a trip for you, huh? Back on the stage again? Everyone enthralled this time."

Miguel was lingering near Iann and Babs, two of the people who he knew most about and who knew the most about him. There was some level of trust in that but... there was still so much he DIDNT know, which was apparent from the way Babs called Iann chiquito. But Miguel stayed quiet about it and just nodded along with Iann even if he didn’t completely know what Iann was talking about. “You did a great job, Babs. It was really fun to watch.”

"So did you, random audience member," Iann said, calming exponentially in the presence of both Babs and then Miguel. He threw and arm around Miguel and jostled him. "Think you could do any of those fancy magic tricks, brujito?"

Miguel scoffed. “Not without vomiting,” he said and rolled his eyes. “Or storing a lot of magic before hand.... and even then I don’t think I’d be able to pull off teleportation.”

Babs couldn't get the grin off her face if she tried. And honestly, she didn't want to. He was right, it had been a trip for her. The ultimate revenge on those assholes in Vegas. Without them though, she probably wouldn't have had Mala in her life for so long, wouldn't know who Iann was, maybe wouldn't even be here. That in itself was a trip. "I feel young again. Probably won't feel the same in the morning when it all catches up with my body, but I'll ride the high while I can." As Miguel voiced his praise as well, she beamed even brighter. "Thank you, darling. I'm glad you enjoyed it." Seeing Iann and Miguel together, Babs cocked her head to the side for a moment. They had an odd resemblance to each other. Something Babs couldn't quite place. "You two look strikingly similar," she blurted out. "Has anyone ever told you that."

"Ay dios mio, Auntie, don't be racist," Iann joked with an animated roll of his eyes and he looked down at Miguel. She wasn't wrong of course, but Iann just wanted to give her a hard time for it. "We don't all look alike." And when she mentioned not feeling as good in the morning, Iann scoffed. "Just give me a ring, I'll arrange for the Antoinette's professionals to come to Stonefruit and give you a total spa day or something. Massage and foot soaks and...whatever cool stuff you want."

Dani Like Ruby, after their first performance, Dani had wandered off in search of water. They would have to change before Samhain took the stage, but for now, they thought it best to cool off and relax. Their night was just getting started and they wanted to make it through to the end without faltering from exhaustion. They had watched the next routine from the ground to the side of the stage, thrilled to see Freddie taking part. They were equally excited to see that a true magician had come to perform. In a town where literal magic existed, it was refreshing to witness the craft of classic mortal magic as it was meant to be performed. They had tremendous respect for those who could pull off such complicated illusions and tricks, and if Freddie was working with said magician, Dani very much wanted to meet her. As soon as their act ended, Dani made their way through the crowd, though their height made it difficult to follow where the most recent performers had gone. Fortunately, it didn't take them too long to find their bearings. Walking up to the gathered few, they made a quiet approach and offered a smile to no one in particular. "I hope I'm not butting into something," they started, then turning their attention to the mystery woman, "I wanted to commend you on your act. It's rare we get true magicians here. Magic is so abundant... sometimes people forget that magic is more than ley lines and spellwork. You were absolutely fantastic."

Miguel was quiet for another minute, mulling over the fact that he and Iann looked similar. A couple weeks ago he would have made the same joke Iann had made. But... after seeing his foglet versión right next to Iann, he had to admit that they did look alike. “Do you have any witches in your family, Iann?”

"Hell no," Iann replied with surety, but then as he stepped to one side to let Dani speak to Babs, he added with a similar joking tone, "But then again, I have no clue who my sperm-donor was. Never met him, don't know his name, no clue who he is. But I doubt he's - he was - magical."

“Oh...” Miguel pursed his lips. “I don’t know who my dad was either. But I assume he wasn’t human. My mom kind of just... wanted the most magical baby possible.”

Iann grunted, unsurprising that yet one more kid was abandoned by one more deadbeat unpresent father. Water was also wet, and the sky was also blue. Iann was about to add more, when his phone beeped. "Oh shit, I have to go for a bit." Fortunately there was a small break in between the shows, which gave Iann a chance to duck out. "Miguel - behave. Auntie - I'll talk to you later," Iann gave Babs a quick impulsive (compulsive) kiss on her cheekbone. "Dani? Where is Dani? Oh there they are, I almost missed you." Iann grinned. "Catch you later."

Babs simply laughed at Iann's attempt to give her a hard time. As she went to respond, she was distracted by the new face approaching. "Why thank you, darling! I saw a bit of your swordplay as well, it was quite impressive." It was amazing to her that the townfolk was so respective to her brand of magic. She felt silly for even being hesitant in the first place. She grinned at Iann's kiss to her cheek, patting him in a surprisingly loving way on the shoulder before he left.

Miguel Miguel slid up to Babs with his Cheshire Cat grin and his Cheshire Cat curiosity. He wanted so badly to ask her how she knew Iann, but he could wait for her conversation with Dani to end.

Dani huffed, but in a manner that hinted affection, as Iann so subsequently greeted them and dismissed himself. "Later to you too, Cardero." When the ever-curious human departed, the petite figure turned back to the woman. They had always been a tad bashful about receiving praise for their performances, despite their energetic and confident stage presence. "Ah, the thanks are mutual then," they chuckled. "I'm glad you thought so. I've never had a spar in front of such a large audience before. It was quite the experience." They extended a hand then, offering a welcome grin, "As Iann said, I'm Dani. Dani Savin. It's a pleasure to meet you."

Babs extended her hand as well, giving Dani's a firm shake. Her grip had improved tremendously lately with Miguel's help. "Savin? You're related to Fane?" she asked curiously.

Dani returned her shake just as firmly before lowering it to their side. "Sort of," the slightest smirk curled the edge of their lips. "I'm his child. Adopted, obviously." Their head tilted in interest, a hand hitching on their hip. "I take it you two have met?"

Babs nodded, returning the smirk. "Decades ago, yes. Only reunited earlier tonight in fact. He helped me out of a bit of a scrape in the past." She wasn't about to say more and ruin her good mood by dragging up less than savory memories.

Dani A quiet hum of understanding passed through Dani's lips at her explanation. "This town does have an odd way of reuniting distant companions." Whatever it was their father had assisted her with, they wouldn't ask. They knew well enough the sorts of scrapes he got into - and the many unfortunate souls that always seemed to wander into his path. Out of the corner of their eye, they spotted Miguel hovering, clearly eager to speak with the woman. "And in this case, welcome to Soapberry, Ms. ..." Dani hadn't actually caught her name yet, but they wouldn't keep her much longer. "It seems there's someone rather eager to speak with you." Their full gaze flitted to the doctor. "I hope we can snatch a more opportune chat sometime. I'll leave you it." And with a parting nod, they left Miguel to begin his inquiry.

[gvbejvmesmichaels]

Task One - Survey

Basic Information

Full Name: He was born Gabriel Anthony James, but his legal name since 2008 has been Gabriel Anthony James-Michaels.

Nickname(s): Gabe, Gabey, G, Briel (Jay only)

Age: 47

Date of Birth: March 03, 1974

Hometown: Roswell, New Mexico

Current Location: Manhattan, New York

Gender: Male

Pronouns: He/Him. However, his friends use pronouns interchangeably, and he does respond to She/Her pronouns when they’re directed at him. Mostly it’s Maxxie and Kale.

Sexual Orientation: It’s taken him a long to figure out a label for his sexuality, and he still doesn’t have a good one. Bisexuality has never felt right, but pansexuality doesn’t feel right either. He supposes he’s homosexual with the rare attraction to the opposite sex.

Occupation: Artist and co-owner of The Alphabet City Art Collective. He teaches art classes.

Living Arrangements: He lives in Manhattan with his husband in the home they renovated together. Their granddaughter turned adopted daughter lives with them, as do their numerous pets.

Language(s) Spoken: English, some Spanish (specifically New Mexican Spanish and California Spanish, which have different slang words and ways of speaking than traditional Spanish).

Accent: He has a New Mexican accent. This is a combination of a West Coast accent with Chicano slang and Navajo words mixed in. It’s faded over the years, but he still has the habit of tacking questions to the ends of his sentences. Typically “or what?” or “Or no?” He also uses the  California “Yeah-No” or “No-Yeah” approach to saying yes or no from time to time.

Physical Appearance

Hair Color: Original dark brown bordering on black, but now it’s more salt and pepper these days.

Eye Color: Hazel, leaning closer to an amber color more than anything else.

Height: 6′2″

Build: Lanky is probably a good way to describe him. His arms are muscular from lugging around materials.

Tattoos: A shit ton. 22 at last count. The ones that are most noticeable are the ones on his knuckles and lower arms. Although when they’re at the beach, people tend to be very concerned about the tattoo on his pelvic bone that reads “Lucky You.”

Piercings: At one point he had his nose pierced, but that closed up ages ago.

Clothing Style: He supposes art grunge is the best way to describe his style. He wears a lot of ripped/baggy jeans, and band shirts. A lot of his shirts are thin to the point of almost being see-through. He wears a lot of flannel and corduroy jackets. Beanies and ball caps are a staple of his wardrobe. Everything he wears tends to have paint on it somewhere. Except for when he wears suits - which tend to have patterns.

Favorite Accessories: Leather bracelets, his watch, his wedding ring, and his sister and her husband’s  wedding bangs on a chain around his neck.

Distinguishing Characteristics: Other than being covered in tattoos, he’s covered in scars, but his most noticeable scars are on his back. His whole back is covered in lash mark scars. It’s something he used to be embarrassed by, but now it’s just a part of him.

Health

Physical Conditions: He has limited range in his right shoulder from an old baseball injury. Otherwise he’s in perfect health.

Mental Health Conditions: He has lingering PTSD from the things he experienced in his youth and when he was in prison. In the past, he suffered from internalized homophobia.

Allergies: He has a severe nut allergy. He carries a EpiPen with him at all times. Minor contact with nuts causes him to break out in hives.

Sleeping Habits: If he had it his way, he would be up until 4 in the morning and wake up in the afternoon. Of course his husband and Bella’s sleeping habits are the complete opposite of Gabe’s so his sleeping habits tend to mimic theirs.

Eating Habits: He’s pretty careful about the things he eats - always making sure they weren’t made with or near nuts. He tends to eat a lot of fruit and Mexican food. Although he also has a weakness for sushi...

Exercise Habits: He’ll run when he gets conned into going running, but mostly he does Yoga. Both because Velvet and Kale make him, and also because it helps with the long hours of sitting still in one place painting.

Addictions: Nicotine. Definitely nicotine.

Drug Use: Psychedelics only. Mostly hallucinogenic teas and mushrooms. Although he does smoke weed from time to time.

Alcohol Use: Mostly wine. Occasionally whiskey and gin.

Personality

Label: The Artist.

Positive Traits: Creative, Loyal, Street Smart, Paternal

Negative Traits: Stubborn, Obsessive, Nosy, Crude

Goals/Desires: To keep his family healthy, happy, and safe. To see as much of the world as possible

Fears: Losing his family. Leeches (don’t ask).

Hobbies: Reading terrible romance novels, wandering around antique shops.

Habits: When he’s nervous he fidgets or picks at his cuticles. He rubs his hand over his mouth when he’s thinking. He also tends to misplace his glasses in his hair.

Favorites

Season/Weather: He prefers Spring and Fall over the other seasons. They’re too pretty to pick one over the other.

Color: This is a cruel question. It’s hard to choose just one. He supposes a teal or aquamarine palette would be his favorite.

Music Genre: Probably Alt-Rock. Although he does have a fondness for the Cole Porter era of musicals because of his mother.

Movie: Smokey and the Bandit. Partially because of Burt Reynolds, but also because of the idea of found-family.

Sport: Baseball (Go Dodgers!) and football (Go Seahawks!)

Beverage: Tea. He prefers hot over iced. 

Food: Apples or pad thai. 

Animal: Dogs. Although he has a fondness for all animals.

Family

Father: Francis William James - they are estranged and haven’t spoken in years. 

Mother: Maria Anne James, nee Palmer - they are estranged and haven’t spoken to each other in years.

Sibling(s): Georgiana Angelica Adams, nee James was his younger sister. She was murdered in 2002. Elijah Gavin James is his younger brother. They’re still in contact, but his brother lives in California. 

Children: He has two biological children: Andrew James and Constance James. While he and Connie are estranged, he and Drew are very close. He and his husband have adopted his granddaughter, Arabella James, as Connie lost custody through a series of bad decisions and abuse. He has a bonus kid through his husband, Juliet Michaels, who is definitely his person.

Pet(s): They have four dogs: Gulliver, Scully, Felony, and Bambi. He has two cats, and they’re definitely his and not at all his husband’s: Buffy and Max. Bella has a rabbit named Fluffy. There's also Pinocchio, the donkey, and Bonnie the alpaca. The two larger animals are living with at his old house with his son, Drew.

Other Important People: Kaleidoscope Johnson, his partner and he supposes work husband. Nicola Marchette is the closest thing he has to a living sister. Velvet Starr is his work best friend, and definitely his partner in crime. Greyson Starr is essentially his nephew. 

Extra

Zodiac Sign: Pisces, and he is definitely a Pisces through and through.

MBTI: ENTP: The Entrepreneurs, which are: creative, flexible, and likeable.

Hogwarts House: Definitely a Hufflepuff.

Moral Alignment: Chaotic Good - and all that comes with that.

Primary Vice: It’s hard for him to choose a vice. He’s pretty good at balance, which surprises most people. If he had to choose anything, he would say envy.

Primary Virtue: Patience is definitely his virtue. He has put up with a lot over the years.

Element: He would have to say that he’s very water based, although he does have bits of fire in his personality.

[magdaclaire]

Hey, idk if you're taking prompts rn but I have one for standrew: the boys go to Vegas for a work thing (or maybe for a coworkers birthday/bachelor party bc then more of the buzzfeed crew could be there) but they get wasted and get married. I know it's cliche but I can't stop thinking about it.

Ask and ye shall receive a fucking monster, here you go, it’s 2000 fuckin words because I have no chill. Uh anyway, here you go for lovesick Andrew Ilnyckyj who insists he’s not that drunk (he is). 

“Andrew,” Steven singsongs, pulling at Andrew’s hand to drag him down the well lit Las Vegas strip. He’s smiley and soft in the neon lights, already very drunk for only eleven at night, but Andrew can only judge so much; he’s a little drunk too. He lengthens his strides to match Steven’s, but neither drops the other’s hand, both finding it a little too nice to not have to say anything. Last time they held hands, Adam was between them, and while Andrew loves Adam with his whole heart, he thinks he might like this arrangement better. Steven squeezes his hand and Andrew comes back to the present, making a noise out of random. This is who he is when he’s drunk: wandering mind and sporadic noises. The sporadic noise may be a specific influence from a certain co host, but that’s neither here nor there.

“You’re so cute,” Steven says, running a finger along the length of Andrew nose with a grin. Andrew finds himself smiling and tries not to call himself in love, because falling in love with a man like Steven Lim would be the worst of ideas. You can only stare at the sun for so long without it beginning to hurt. They’re not even in Vegas for Worth It or for anything else that might bring them personally together; they’re here for Zach and Eugene’s respective bachelor parties, which despite getting married to one another, they refused to have separately, much to the frustration of one Keith Habersberger. Steven pulls on his arm to get him out of his own head again - he’s good like that.

“I’m good. I’m cool. I’m totally present,” Andrew says, pausing to squeeze Steven’s hand in return, admittedly a little late. He doesn’t know why they’re holding hands, but he’s not going to contest what Steven has decided should happen. He’s bad for that, but that’s okay. Everything’s okay right now. As they continue walking, they pass the Chapel of Crystals - pass is a relative term here, meaning they make it one step hence before Steven is pulling Andrew backwards.

“Andy, Andrew, Drew, we should get married. It would be so fun. I wanna get Vegas married! Let’s get married,” Steven rambles excitedly, pulling on Andrew’s arm again. Andrew isn’t drunk enough for this. He isn’t, but he follows Steven anyway, because Steven looks so bright and happy and if this is the chance Andrew gets to be married to Steven, he might just be pathetic enough to take it. And it would make Steven happy. Andrew literally runs into Steven’s back when the younger man stops, nearly knocking both of them to the ground. Steven turns and they’re still standing so close, but Andrew doesn’t know what to do. It’s solved for him when Steven gets down on one knee.

“Andrew, you’re my best friend, and there’s no one I’d rather do this with. Marry me?” Steven asks, taking Andrew’s hand. Andrew thinks for a terrifying moment that he might actually cry at this sham of a proposal, but instead he just nods, pulling Steven off of the floor and into a hug. Steven is taller than him, but Andrew is broader, so the way that their bodies come together feels like balance. With arms braced around his neck, Andrew is content to stay there for as long as Steven will let him, which is a lot longer than he expected. It’s perhaps two minutes before the taller man is urging him on again.

“Alright, let’s do this,” Andrew says, forcing some false reluctance into his voice. Despite being a no-fun curmudgeon, Andrew does think getting Vegas married sounds kind of fun, without all the shit he feels about Steven. That’s a fucking melting pot anyway. Steven grabs his hand again and drags him into the Chapel, swinging open the door that says Open, 24 Hrs. Andrew is just glad they’re not breaking in or anything. For some inexplicable reason, he doesn’t think it would be the first time Steven has broken into something just for his over enthusiasm’s sake.

“Hello, what would you two gentlemen be interested in tonight?” a kindly woman asks, smiling a shark teeth kind of smile. Andrew doesn’t know how else to describe it, but it’s like she’s smiling, but in a mean way. Like his third grade grammar teacher, but at a shitty Vegas strip Chapel. Steven looks a little intimidated, is holding onto Andrew’s hand harder, so Andrew speaks up.

“We’re here to get married,” he says, because he doesn’t know what else to say, but she just nods anyway. They’re guided through less paperwork than Andrew needed to get his first tattoo, and then they’re led to a room that’s set up like a church hall. It’s a little too fast for Andrew’s drunken mind, but he’s not that drunk, so it must just be really confusing. He’s totally not that drunk; he’s not Steven.

“We’re getting married,” Steven whispers giddly, speaking of the devil. His cute little giggles make Andrew want this even more to be real, make him wish that Steven wanted this to be real. Instead of tripping into that depression spiral, he takes his hand out of Steven’s and slips his arm around Steven’s waist. The other man seems to like that development, immediately looping his arm around Andrew’s shoulders. Andrew can’t stop himself from pressing his face into Steven’s neck for just a moment, though he does not press the kisses he wants to there. He’s not that drunk.

“You make a lovely couple,” shark lady says, and then she leaves them alone with the priest that Andrew has only just now noticed. He’s a pretty young guy, maybe Adam’s age, and he looks tired. It’s like eleven thirty at night, so no one can fault him for that, least of all Andrew or Steven. Steven’s toasted at this hour, this early as hell hour, so they can’t judge. Soon they’ll be a defined collective unit. Andrew might throw up. He’s not that drunk. He’s happy to marry his best friend, even if it’s just for fun. This is fantastic; he’s created another depression spiral to avoid, all by himself.

“I’m going to start marrying you now. If you don’t want to be married, leave,” the guy says, and then he begins with their marriage rights and what all. Andrew gets caught up in how Steven looks in good lighting, like he always does, but this time Steven is looking too. They’re facing each other now, hands clasped in front of the priest, and they both lose time just looking at one another. The officiator has to clap his hands to get their attention, making Andrew explain how to pronounce his surname before making him repeat it. In a moment, they’ll be one legal entity. In a moment, they’ll be married.

“Do you, Steven Lim, take Andrew Ilnyckyj to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the priests asks, his tone bored.

“I do,” Steven says, grinning.

“Do you, Andrew Ilnyckyj, take Steven Lim to be your lawfully wedded husband?” the priests asks, his voice dragging even more.

“I do,” Andrew says, trying not to split his face open on the smile he can’t keep at bay.

“I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may now kiss.” Andrew had forgotten about this part. Steven, it seems, did not, with his hands on Andrew’s jaw, cupping his face ever so softly, his thumb stroking Andrew’s cheek. The taller man bends and places the softest of kisses on Andrew’s lips, a soft kiss that immediately turns into something dirty as Andrew takes control of it. Steven’s grip on his face gets tighter, pulling Andrew as close as he can be, and the kiss gets dirtier with Steven’s tongue in his mouth. The priest claps his hands again and the two of them jump apart.

“You can’t have sex in our Chapel. Vacate. You’re married - find a hotel,” he says, and everything comes crashing back in. They’re celebrating Eugene and Zach’s marriage, they shouldn’t be on their own getting married and fucking around. Steven’s smile drags him out of that as Steven’s hand drags him out of the Chapel, right into the street. Instead of finding a hotel, or rather the hotel since they already have a room, Steven pushes him against the brick of the Chapel, taking and taking and taking. Andrew gives as good as he gets, nipping at Steven’s lower lip and making him moan. He doesn’t want to pull away.

“We have to get to the hotel, Stevie. We gotta go,” Andrew whispers in Steven’s ear, playing with the skin beneath his ear. Steven moans and nods, squirming a little despite not being the one pressed between a hot body and a hard place. He pulls away from Andrew but not far, linking their hands again. Andrew hates how familiar that already feels, and wonders how much he’ll miss it when it’s gone. Steven stops them again, pressing him against another building’s wall.

“No grumpy cat face, Andrew. We just got married,” Steven says, but it comes out kind of as a whine. He presses a kiss to the ‘grumpy cat’ expression on Andrew’s mouth, making the older man smile. Andrew slips their hands back together and pulls them towards their hotel, another few blocks, but not far enough that they should catch a cab. Steven pulls their hands apart and slings his arm around Andrew’s neck, adopting the standing that they had earlier, in the Chapel. Andrew doesn’t know if he can stop smiling as he loops his arm around Steven’s waist, tucking his face into Steven’s chest.

“You’re a good husband, Steven Lim,” Andrew tells him, nearly quiet enough to be a whisper. Steven squeezes his shoulders, bringing him closer. It’s a little hard to walk like this, but it’s definitely worth it, at least to Andrew. Heh. Worth It.

“You could say this marriage is… worth it,” Andrew jokes a little louder, and Steven dissolves into giggles. He’s so pretty and cute and so far out of Andrew’s league, he feels lucky that they’re even friends. And now they’re married. It may or mayn’t be real - it was supposed to be a joke, but Steven kissed him like it was real - but for now Andrew is just happy it happened. It feels real when Steven kisses him on the forehead, but Andrew doesn’t know. He mentally shrugs it off and keeps walking to their hotel, pulling the keycard out of his jacket pocket in anticipation when they reach the lobby. They make out lazily in the empty elevator before kissing against their door, not bothering to go in yet.

“Steven! Andrew! You’re back - oh wait, Jesus,” Ryan Bergara says from probably fifteen feet away, starting to talk to them at twenty and realizing at fifteen. When they pull off, they see Ryan red in the fact, Adam looking tired but knowing all the same behind him.

“I told you not to talk to them when they came in,” Adam says quietly, but mostly because everything he says comes out quiet. Ryan nods and backs into the room he shares with Shane, just looking resigned at this paradigm shift. Andrew wishes he could be so calm with it.

“Wait, you knew?” Andrew asks, looking at Adam. Andrew didn’t know until they were already married that this was even a fucking option.

“Well, yeah,” Adam says simply, and exits into his own room. Andrew looks at where he’s still got Steven trapped against the door, and when the two of them make eye contact, they both fall into laughter. They lean against each other like that, holding on to each other and falling against their door. Andrew unlocks it and they step through it, guiding Steven over so that they lay on the bed together.

“You think we’ll be okay in the morning?” Andrew asks once they’ve sobered a little, bringing the mood down. Steven rolls from his back onto his side directly beside Andrew, leaning over to look him directly in the face.

“I’ve been completely in love with you for months, Andrew Ilnyckyj. As long as you keep kissing me, I think we’ll be just fine,” Steven says, pressing a kiss to the tip of Andrew’s nose. Rolling back over, Steven promptly falls asleep.

Andrew thinks he can handle that.

[esandcasg]

Chapter 8: Thorne in the Mountainside

Ifan flew through the air like an Olympic ski jumper in his prime, the steely look of focus etched on his face as he zoned in on the target in front of him. Except more powerful. More graceful.

The big clumps of snow that spiraled around the mountain face in the blizzard seemed to bow down to his physical superiority, parting as they flowed over the rippling muscles of his waxed chest and back, creating vortices that flew off into the air as they reached the shelf like structure of his surgically modified butt cheeks.

As he reached the target he drew an ice-axe from his back holster, before imbedding it in the top of the drone, as described better in the previous chapter.

Ifan gracefully landed on the snow, immediately adopting his standard strong man pose as pioneered by Bruce Forsyth, the walls of the mountainside flexing slightly due to the sheer physical prowess on display. And in that moment the storm stopped. The clouds dispersed almost instantly, and the first rays of sun shone down, illuminating Ifan as if he was some Godly creation. Which he is.

He turned to us, but I knew immediately that something wasn’t right. His eyes flickered to something over our shoulders.

“Get down!” He screamed.

I glanced backwards and in a split second registered movement behind me. Grabbing Andrew, I flung myself onto the ice, just as another figure flew through the air above us, an ice-axe slashing through the space where our heads had been just a moment ago.

The figure summersaulted in the air, landing some meters in front of us, before rolling forward and jumping up into a crouched attack position, ready to strike, an ice-axe in both hands. He turned to look at us, and I felt my legs give way slightly. The world seemed to skip a little bit.

It was Ifan. Another Ifan. Except this one was even less dressed than the first one, sporting just a pair of white and blue lycra hotpants with a wolf on, something last seen on the television show Gladiators in the 90s. The cut of the hotpants and squatting position showcased his gargantuan thigh muscles that seemed to be made of granite.

I didn’t have time to consider what this new development meant, and whether Gladiators was making a comeback, before the original Ifan was in action. Seemingly troubled by this show of bravado, he ripped off his walking trousers revealing a similar pair of lycra hotpants – something usually reserved for Friday nights with Celia (before having a child) - before launching himself at the doppelganger Ifan.

“Finger!” He cried, as he soared through the air towards his target.

Once more in midair, Ifan drew two further ice-axes from various places – one from the second holster on his back, the other from down the front of his hotpants – and tried to strike simultaneously blows to his seemingly genetic duplicate. But Ifan was ready for the attack and raised his ice-axes to block. And in that moment the two Ifans were locked in combat, like two alpha-male wildebeest on the Serengeti, battling over attention from the hottest piece of wildebeest ass in sight, horns intertwined, grunting under the strain as their powerful frames clattered into each other.

Ifan and Ifan stood close to each other, interlocked by four ice axes, their faces just a few inches apart, eyes bulging with rage, like Shadow on the Duel platform on Gladiators. The biggest question that came to my mind at that moment was whether the name Shadow would even be allowed these days.

As Andrew collapsed to the floor, screaming in terror, there was a blur of ice-axes, muscles and body building bronzer, as the fight sprung into life in front of us.

Ifan struck first. Unentangling an ice axe, he swung and tried to deliver a blow to the side of Ifan’s head, who saw it coming at the last minute and managed to turn his head so that the side of the blade delivered just a glancing blow. The most ridiculous sentence ever written in Vertical Summit. Everyone knows Ifan can’t turn his head.

Both Ifans went on the offensive, trying to deliver blow after blow, like a meth addicted hooker on a Saturday night. The clanging sound of lightweight aluminium echoed around us as they tried to find the killer blow. By this point I had completely lost track of which Ifan was which. And as Andrew continued to scream from the corner, I only assumed that he wasn’t keeping track either.

Ifan dodged every swipe, he parried to the left. Ifan countered to the right, he caught him in the neck. This was rapidly becoming a legendary fight and a normal Tuesday night for Shia Lebeouf.

We on a small flat outcrop of rock, maybe twenty feet wide. On both sides there was a drop that would be fatal. Both Ifans seemed to be aware of this, never getting too close to the danger. As their ice-axes became entangled again, Ifan kicked his adversary in the chest. He skidded backwards, coming to a rest just inches from the drop. He’d lost an ice-axe. Standing up, he threw the other ice-axe into the snow. As Bruce Lee once said, a man with one ice-axe has one weapon. A man with none has many.

The other Ifan clearly saw this change in advantage, and threw his ice-axes down also, and from there the fight took on a completely different tone. Gone was the slashing and potentially fatal blows of mortal ice-axe combat, and in its place the more elegant form of karate.

Roundhouse. Back kick. Reverse punch.

As these two magnificent creatures did battle, I reached into my pack and drew out a red and white flag to act as referee.

Ifan tried a high roundhouse to the head of Ifan, but he saw it coming, dropping down into the splits and sucker-punching Ifan in the crotch, who proceeded to fall to the ground and look like he was about to throw up. I raised the red flag.

“Point to Ifan!” I announced.

Ifan slowly climbed back up off the mat, but he didn’t look good. He hobbled to the side of the arena, cock in hand.

“Can you continue?” I asked.

He considered this for a moment, before nodding.

“Ifan Thorne is going to fight!” I announced to the crowd, who went wild.

Ifan slowly staggered back to the centre of the mat and faced his adversary. They assumed their fighting stances.

“Fight!” I shouted.

Learning from the last point, Ifan avoided kicking, this time closing the distance to Ifan quickly and aiming a punch at his Solar Plexus. But once again Ifan saw the move coming, and dodged to the side. It was like they were somehow connected in mind as well as body.

“Sweep the leg!” I shouted, to no Ifan in particular.

The fight was stopped instantly by the crack of a rifle round that reverberated around the mountainside, much like Andrew’s farts in the toilet bowl just a few days before. Had it really only been two days ago that I’d spoken to Andrew in his cabin in the jungle? It felt like months already. So much had happened since then. Like Christmas. And Lockdown 3.0.

“Enough,” shouted Andrew, having seemingly regained his composure. His rifle was pointing up into the sky, the muzzle smoking in the cold mountain air. He lowered it so that it pointed in the space between the two Ifans. “Stop this madness at once. I haven’t even seen Karate Kid so I have no idea what is going on.”

Ifan and Ifan took a step away from each other and bowed, before facing Andrew and I and bowing.

“Can someone explain what the fuck is going on?” Andrew continued. “What is this, Double Impact?”

No one spoke. An awkward silence descended over us, like the start of a Microsoft Teams meeting when you don’t know the people on the other end of the call and the small talk has already faded out. I took the initiative to speak.

“Andrew,” I began, “this is much more complicated than that.”

Andrew turned his head to face me, a stunned expression on his face. His rifle moved slightly, and out of the corner of my eye I saw Ifan take a step forward.

“You know what is going on?!” He quizzed.

I thought about what I could tell him at this stage. “The only thing I really know is that only one of these is the real Ifan.”

“No shit. And the other?”

“I… I don’t know,” was all I could say.

“Okay,” he said, turning back, “let’s find out. You guys have one second to answer my questions that only Ifan could answer. Hesitate, I shoot. Wrong answer, I shoot. Clear?”

The two Ifan’s looked each other, testosterone charging the void between them.

“Okay, first question. What is Ifan’s favourite place to take a drive?”

“Crewe,” said both Ifans, simultaneously.

“Hm. Correct answer. Okay, who would be Ifan’s best man in the event that he gets married?”

“MyMateMatt.”

“Adam.”

Andrew didn’t hesitate. He aimed towards the Ifan that had answered ‘Adam’ and shot. Clearly his aiming hadn’t improved much from the previous chapters, as it clipped Ifan in the shoulder, spinning him around like a top, before he tripped and fell over the side of the ridge into the five hundred meter abyss below.

I walked to the edge and looked over, to see the last traces of the friend who would have me as a best man. But I didn’t hear or see any sign of him. No falling body. No fading cries. It was over. I would have to delete all the saved speech notes and potential jokes, like the cake being in tiers.

I turned back. Andrew was pointing the rifle at me. “Now, you had better start explaining what the hell is going on. I’ve known something wasn’t right since you came into my cabin with that bullshit time travel story, but thought I’d go along with it and see where it led. Now start talking.”

I drew in a breath and expelled it slowly. It gave me a few extra seconds to think about what I could tell Andrew.

“Craven is making a clone army. Ifan is his source subject.”

*

I made my way up towards The Bottleneck at approximately 8,200m, some four hundred meters below the summit of K2. I had been in a daze, seemingly skipping through the technical features with ease. I had a vague memory of scrambling up the side of House Chimney, circumnavigating some Korean climbers who were stuck in the infamous technical section, struggling with fixed ropes and drawing heavily from bottled oxygen. I nodded to their lead climber, knowing that it was likely the last time that anyone would see them alive.

As I approached the serac I stopped, unzipped my shell jacket and retrieved the map from the inside pocket. I had calculated that the entrance to the tunnel was around here somewhere. But where? I scanned the area but could only see ice and rock. Reaching into my pack, I dug out my high tech binoculars and switched to infrared mode. Perhaps I could pick up a heat signal somewhere. I once again scanned the area but yet again came up short in finding any clues. At this altitude it appeared that everything was devoid of heat.

I started to doubt myself. Had I made a mistake? Was this as much of a wild goose chase as Al Powell checking out the Nakatomi plaza? But that map had to have been in my hip for a reason.

As I rotated my binoculars across the landscape they suddenly flared with a bright red heat source, right in front of me. I shat my pants.

A man stood in front of me. He was short and squat, devoid of any neck. Even dressed in high altitude climbing gear – some ridiculous brand with a bolt logo on the front - I could see that he was a phenomenal physical specimen.

He was vaguely familiar to me, but I couldn’t place him. I once again became frustrated at my inability to drag memories out the depths of my mind, but on some level I knew that I had seen him before. Possibly naked in a lake in Sweden. And a shower in Burnham.

“Adam?!” He asked. “It is you! What the hell happened to you?”

“Yeah, it’s me,” I said, trying to blag the fact that I had no idea who this guy was. “In the flesh!”

“Where have you been for the last two weeks? Last thing you said was that you were going to check out a meteor. I’ve been out on this shithole of a mountain trying to find you.”

I wondered about telling him the truth. But somehow it didn’t feel like the right thing to do. I struggled for a response, but luckily he didn’t give me the opportunity to answer.

“I think I have found the entrance to Craven’s tunnel. Follow me.”

Craven. The name jogged a memory.

I followed the guy up to the edge of the serac, where he proceeded to pull it to one side. I followed him into the tunnel that lay beyond. As the serac door slammed shut the tunnel was illuminated, and we heard slow mechanical breathing resonating along the passageway in front of us.

*

Another rifle crack brought me back to the present. Andrew had fired a second warning shot into the sky that - due to the combination of mechanical factors such as angle, starting velocity and weight of the round, intrinsic factors of density, aerodynamic profile and ballistic coefficient, and extrinsic factors of barometric pressure, humidity, air temperature and wind speed - took out a Korean climber on The Bottleneck on K2 about twenty kilometers away. At this proximity the blast was deafening and it took a moment for the ringing to subside.

“What else?”

“What else, what?” I asked, naively.

“About Craven. About Ifan.”

“I don’t know much,” I lied. “I just know what when Ifan was on K2, Craven captured him and decided that he would be the chosen subject to base the army on.”

“How many? How many Ifans are there?”

“Well, originally he wanted to create one hundred thousand, but he realized that he’d spent most of his money on Rab gear, whereas he should have chosen a cheaper brand.” As I said this my eyes wandered down to the logo on Andrew’s Primark synthetic down jacket. “So in the end he had to settle for five.”

“Five? We are talking about five thousand Ifan’s out there hunting us?”

“No, just five,” said Ifan, rejoining us. By now he had put on some more appropriate clothing, adding the lycra crop-top to complete the full Gladiators ensemble.

“Just five?” Continued Andrew. “So what else?”

“That’s all I know. What we know. We were locked up on K2 for three years and then eventually kicked out.” I could only hope that I sounded convincing.

“And what do I have to do with this?”

“I don’t know.”

Andrew seemed to consider this for a moment, before turning and picking up his 4270kg backpack.

“Where are you going?” Ifan called after him. Andrew stopped and turned.

“I’m getting the hell off this mountain. I’m getting the hell away from you.”

I watched him for the next five minutes as he picked his way down the ridge that would eventually lead him towards the bottom of Sia Kangri. It was a slow process as his balance issues and oversized backpack meant that he kept falling and then stopping to gather himself. Eventually, after he’d gotten about twenty meters, I’d seen enough so picked up my daypack and set off after him. We still had a job to do for Craven, and by God I wasn’t going to fail him again.

I couldn’t look Ifan in the eye as I passed him. Not because of his confession about MyMateMatt a few moments ago, but because of the ridiculous outfit he was wearing.

Much like R2D2 and C3PO on Tattoine where they fell out, went separate ways, get picked up by Jawas, and then eventually are excited to find each other sometime later, Andrew and I fell into step as we approached the final technical part on the descent of Sia Kangri.

“Andrew,” I said to him to gain his attention. When I caught his eye I pointed down at my nutsack. That I had clipped to my belt for easy access to some snacks whilst out on the mountain.

Andrew nodded acceptance before digging his fingers deep into my sack. And with that the bond was seemingly reformed. It’s amazing how the offer of the contents of one man’s nutsack to the other is enough to rebuild any burnt bridge. As Andrew withdrew his hand, some nuts became dislodged and were scattered all over the rock around our feet.

Ifan walked past us. “Come on guys, let’s keep going.”

Andrew and I looked at each other. I could see the concerned look on his face, and assumed that he could see the same mirrored in mine.

“Did you see that?” He asked.

“Yeah, Ifan didn’t stop to lick up those nuts.”

“Not just that,” he continued. “He is now leading a descent. First time ever. Usually he’s way out the back complaining about his little legs.”

“My God,” I said, turning to look at Ifan, storming down the mountain. “But this means that…”

“That I shot the wrong Ifan,” said Andrew.

A crack of thunder drew our attention away from Ifan – if we could call him that - for a moment. I looked back up the mountain and saw big black clouds once again swelling over the summit of Sia Kangri.

“What is going on with this weather?” Asked Andrew.

I thought back to K2. Whilst I knew that it might appear that I simply removed the storm so that I didn’t have to write about it in this chapter and that I couldn’t think of any ideas – partly true – the remaining truth was that this was also connected to Craven and something that hopefully Andrew would develop further as it was his idea.

“Come on,” I said to him, turning away from the brewing storm.

“Wait, what are we going to do about Ifan?”

“Let’s go and make sure. Leave this to me.”

We walked down the ridge to where Ifan was standing at the top of a fifty meter cliff, a technical section that Andrew named Fake Plastic Trees. He was pulling some rope out of his pack.

“Nearly at the bottom,” I said to him nonchalantly.

“Yeah,” he said, also nonchalantly, his back turned to me.

“Where did you park the C-Max?” I asked, nonchalantly.

“Oh, down by the entrance to Sia Kangri park. By the restaurant The Grill.”

“The Gasherbrum Grill?”

“Er, sure.”

I was sure that Andrew had no idea what this Dar es Salaam reference was all about, but I had heard enough. Only the true Ifan would know the right answer to that question.

“No, it’s the other grill,” I said.

Ifan bowed his head; he’d fallen for my trap and he knew it.

He stood slowly, turning towards us, fire raging in his eyes. But it was the gun in his hand that drew my attention.

“So you worked it out?” He said coldly. “I was hoping that I’d manage to get you off the mountain on your own accord. I figured it would be pretty difficult to carry Andrew off, even with these bad boys.” He flexed his 48 inch biceps, something that once upon a time Amy would have melted at the knees at. “But I guess you’ve done most of the hard work. It’s just this last section and then I can deliver him to Craven as promised. But you, Adam, I guess you are unnecessary baggage.”

He turned the gun towards me. I braced myself for the impact of the round.

Suddenly there was a distorted cry from behind us, like the Boss DS-1. #guitarpedaljoke

We all turned to look.

Wait! He isn’t dead! Ifan surprise!

Ifan staggered over the ridge, a gun in his hands and death in his eyes. He was caked in blood that was crusted all over his face and torso. My god, there’s blood everywhere.

Whilst he moved slowly towards us, the other Ifan moved fast, grabbing Andrew and holding his gun against his head.

“Drop the weapon, Ifan,” said Ifan. Right now I was on course to break the world record for the most amount of Ifans written in one chapter of a book. I just had to keep going.

Ifan dropped the gun and put his hands on his head. I don’t know why he would do this, but still.

“What was it you said to me earlier?” Asked Ifan, turning the gun towards Ifan. “Oh yes, I remember now. ‘Finger’.”

Ifan started laughing. Just a small chuckle at first that built into a proper thigh slapper. But it was seemingly contagious as everyone else started joining in. Even Ifan.

Suddenly Ifan tensed. “Get down Andrew!” He shouted, before reaching behind his head and grabbing his side arm that had been taped to his back using Christmas tape.

Andrew was too stunned to move or had gone into stasis, but it didn’t matter. Unlike Andrew, Ifan was an expert marksman and shot Ifan in the chest. He staggered backwards a few steps before stepping out over the cliff and disappearing from sight. We all heard the scream that ended with a sickening thud a few seconds later. Luckily Andrew wasn’t wearing a watch, so he wasn’t dragged down with him.

I peered over the edge and this time saw a mangled corpse at the bottom of the cliff. Relief filled me.

“If Ifan wants his clothes back, he can climb down there and get them his bloody self,” I said to Andrew, who rolled his eyes.

On cue, a bloody Ifan walked over towards us.

“Sorry for shooting you, buddy,” said Andrew.

“No worries. It was just a nick. Probably fine for future chapters.”

Andrew looked back down at the body below us, just as the first flakes of snow from the storm hit us.

“You guys have some explaining to do.”