#come on scully it will be a nice trip to the forest

[freckleslikestars]

Favourite X-FILES Episode Countdown {19/24} | Darkness Falls

[bisexualfbiagents]

Come on Scully, it'll be a nice trip to the forest.

THE X FILES GIF MEME [4/20] EPISODES Darkness Falls (1.20)

[leiascully]

Fic: POANG (M, MSR)

4400 words; rated M for a lot of real and imaginary sex; the solve high hits Scully right in the libido and a trip to IKEA doesn't help. happy birthday, @laurencem (ao3)

There’s a novelty to working a case in a city. They’re usually in smaller towns, out on the edges of things where the fields blur into the woods and the monsters wear animal skins. Today’s monster is human, or something that resembles one. Scully doubts sometimes that it’s possible to be so brutal and retain humanity.

They’d been called in on this one on the suspicion of witchcraft. There had been a series of killings: bundles of herbs left at the scene, dead bees scattered about, cedar smoke lingering in the corners of the rooms, corpses ritually disfigured. The perpetrator turned out to be more ecofascist than druid. No caltrops for him, and no nice trip to the woods for her and Mulder. This killer has been cultivating poison plants, including the kind of mushrooms that reduced a person’s liver to a liquid. He raved as they put him in the car, something about the city being a hive and its denizens mere drones. Scully tuned it out.

Case closed by noon and they’re back at the hotel. It’s not a particularly nice one: no restaurant, no pool, no premium channels. They’re close to the airport, far from most of the amenities. The closest landmark is an IKEA looming blue and yellow by the highway. Scully regrets making them drop off the rental car early, but Skinner’s been making noises about expenses again. Frugality and a high solve rate are the better part of valor. There’s a free shuttle to the airport, but their flight isn’t until tomorrow morning.

“Where do you go to eat around here?” Mulder asks the college-age kid at the desk.

The kid shrugs. “IKEA.”

“To eat?” Mulder sounds skeptical. It’s music to Scully’s ears. She settles her hip against the wall and watches him.

“I mean it’s not where I would take a date, but they’ve got food,” the kid says, glancing between them.

Mulder turns to Scully. He lifts an eyebrow.

“IKEA it is,” she says.

It’s a short walk, at least. Scully’s used to the touristy part of DC, which this is decisively not. She’s used to walking next to Mulder in a suit and heels instead of jeans and flats. It feels different. She never feels small, walking next to Mulder. He makes space for her, even when they’re out on their own time, like this. She wonders if that makes it look like they're on a date, when they’re out of uniform.

She wonders, just a little, if they’re on a date.

The automatic door of the IKEA opens invitingly, a wide mouth to swallow them up. Mulder ushers her in, an ironic little twist to his lips that tells her he knows what she’s thinking. The maw of capitalism. An ecosystem where the consumer is the consumed. Clearcut forests shimmering with ancient insects.

Also, meatballs.

The end-of-case adrenaline is starting to hit her. All the emotion she locked down in the moment comes back, rerouted from fear to something more feral. She’s restless. She is, truth be told, a little horny. Some confluence of her cycle and the solve high has her wishing she’d stayed in the hotel room. The bathtub looked clean enough. She could have enjoyed herself. Instead she’s letting Mulder lead her through a labyrinth of simulated lives and enticingly arranged furniture. He stops to mosey into one of the staged spaces and beckons her over.

“Look at this, Scully.” He spreads his arms. He can almost touch both walls of the fake apartment. The grey t-shirt he’s wearing stretches in such an enticing way over his chest and shoulders. She gets a whiff of his deodorant and it makes her toes tingle. There’s something about the scent of artificial woods layered over just a hint of sweat that makes the feral part of her flex its claws. She’s always susceptible to the scent of Mulder, but this is something else. She could duck under his arm and sink her teeth into the bare skin of his bicep.

Some part of her is mortified to think of him in this way. Most days, that part gets the upper hand. Today, it’s been outvoted and overpowered. Want prowls back and forth in her belly. She steps closer.

“Can you imagine living here?” he asks. “Actually, you probably could. It’s about the size of a ship’s cabin.”

“Compact,” she says.

His eyes crinkle as he smiles at her. “Just like you.”

I’d compact you, she wants to say, even though it makes no sense. She wonders if her pupils are dilated as she gazes up at him. She wants to push him up against the wall, but there’s a cabinet in the way. He’d hit his head, and he’s had enough cranial trauma. She’s his doctor. She knows better.

He’s still smiling at her and for a moment, her wild desire recoils, rebuffed by doubt. How would he react if she lunged for him? Does he even think of her that way? There have been hints over the years, but Mulder’s mouth writes checks the rest of him isn’t willing to cash. In his mind, are they just on a nice little outing, two work colleagues grabbing dinner? Was he planning on going back to his hotel room to watch whatever film features a leggy brunette wearing the fewest clothes?

“Kidding,” he says, and she realizes she’s staring at him. “Scully. I’m kidding.”

“Right.” She takes a step back as he lets his arms fall to his sides.

“Are you all right?” He ducks his head. “You look a little flushed.”

“I’m fine,” she says automatically.

“I guess it’s been an exciting day.” He meanders out of the fake apartment onto the floor of the store. They seem to be in the seating section. Scully doesn’t need a sofa, and she doesn’t need to look at sofas and imagine on them herself cuddled into Mulder’s side. None of these options are as sexy as his leather couch anyway. Oh god, when did she start thinking his couch was sexy?

Mulder stops by a chair with a light wood frame. “POANG,” he reads off the tag. It’s got white cushions and a sort of modern look. “Oh hey, it’s a rocking chair.” He tips it with one finger and it obligingly rocks. “Maybe you need one of these for your living room.”

Scully is possessed by a vivid image of the chair as it might look in her living room. Mulder is sitting in it, jeans yanked open and shirt rucked up, and she’s straddling his lap and riding him until the runners squeak under them. The motion of the chair accentuates the motion of her hips and her tits swing until he captures them in his big warm hands and and and…

“Maybe,” she says. “But Mulder, we have an IKEA closer to home.”

He drops onto one of the sofas and stretches out. He’s obnoxiously long. His shirt rides up, revealing a wedge of golden skin. “You’d probably rather have something vintage anyway. You’ve got champagne tastes, Scully. You like your creature comforts.”

“Is there something wrong with that?” She crosses her arms.

“No.” His lip twitches in amusement. “Although I have to say, if I had your bed, I’d never get out of it.”

Please, she thinks, fervent as a prayer. “Is that why it took you so long to stop sleeping on the couch? Your inherent slothfulness?”

“What can I say.” He brushes his hand over his stomach, smoothing his shirt down. She bites her lip and looks away. “I’m a man of many vices.” His voice is low, almost a purr.

It’s exactly this kind of fucking behavior that feeds the poor confused wild thing inside her. Does he know that? She knows him better than anyone else in her life and she has never been able to decide if it’s real, not even the time they almost kissed. Her need for him gobbles up every scrap of plausibly deniable flirtation, simultaneously satiated and starving.

She looks away from him. The next section is more innocuous - lots of cute little baskets and boxes. “I thought you were hungry.” She can’t imagine a magazine holder stoking her libido.

“Right,” he says, rolling off the couch. “Date night.”

She rolls her eyes. “It’s lunchtime.”

“Who knows how long it’ll take us to get to the restaurant?” He shades his eyes with his hand, as if he’s peering over some dim horizon. “This place is engineered for maximum distraction. Think of all the lives we could live between here and there, Scully.”

She manages to haul him through the living room storage without too many detours, although she does have a wistful moment over another one of the staged living spaces, imagining the two of them sharing an apartment. She shoves the thought away. They spend so much time together she should be sick of him. She should fantasize about freedom, or solitude, or meeting a handsome stranger in a tiki bar on a tropical beach. But even when she loathes Mulder, she longs for him. Even the way he examines a Billy bookshelf gives her a rush of fond familiarity at the way he devotes his whole attention to it.

“Should we get you a desk?” he teases as they enter the next section.

Only if you’ll fuck me on it, she doesn’t say. Instead, she rolls her eyes and marches toward the shortcut, knowing he’s drifting in her wake. They skip the kitchen section, which is good; she doesn’t have to imagine herself with her hands braced on a countertop as Mulder presses against her from behind, one hand palming her tits and three fingers of the other inside her. They proceed through dining. In her head, she’s definitely not bent over this table as he takes her from behind, or sitting on that one as he has her for dinner, his lips moving eagerly over her thighs.

There’s something wrong with her. The heat deep in her belly keeps building. It’s Mulder’s damn grace and the way he smells and the fit of his jeans and the way the t-shirt strains when his arm flexes. It’s been too goddamn long since she had sex - years, and that was the once, and years before that - and something has awoken inside her, stirred out of sleep by the moon or the tides or who knows what the fuck. She’d go out on a limb for ancient prophecy at this point. That’s how primal her desire feels. It’s wild inside her, barely contained. And it’s so fucking stupid to feel all of this in the middle of an IKEA - a sanitized, flatpack world of sexless confused caricatures and beds that look too flimsy to fuck in.

Beds. So many beds. Acres of beds. And they do look flimsy, but she imagines fucking in them anyway. That one has a slatted headboard she could attach restraints too. That one has storage drawers for her collection of sex toys and Mulder’s collection of dirty magazines. She’d fuck him in a trundle bed at this point. Hell, she’d fuck him on the floor and let security drag them out and shove them into the cop car still coupled together, because there’s no way she’d let him go.

She somehow makes it through beds.

“You must be hungry,” he says at her shoulder. “Or else you took up competitive speedwalking.”

“That continental breakfast was a long time ago,” she says without looking back. She doesn’t need to look. She can sense him: his heat, his bulk. She could reach out for him and know exactly what she’d touch. That’s the problem with her fantasies. She knows him too intimately.

The wardrobe section doesn’t trouble her much, aside from a brief vision of dragging him into a small dark space and having her way with him. She doesn’t even flinch when they get to the children’s section, or at least not outwardly. Her eyes are on the prize and for once, it’s not Mulder’s ass. It’s the IKEA bistro at long last.

They dine. Mulder has meatballs. Scully has the salmon. The meatballs look suspiciously pale to her, but Mulder assures her they’re delicious. He holds out his fork for her, won’t take no for an answer. She relents and he feeds her a fragment of meatball dipped in the sharp sweetness of lingonberry jam. It’s better than she expected. She eats her salmon and wonders at her impulse toward the ascetic. Mulder is supposed to be the one who’s chosen a lonely, constrained life, but she’s the one denying herself mashed potatoes and a potential heaping helping of Mulder. If his flirting means anything, and that’s the if of her life at this point.

She sighs and puts her fork down on her plate. Mulder eats the last bite of her salmon, but only when it becomes clear she isn’t going to eat it. He smiles at her and her heart and her loins both throb. Fuck, she loves him so much.

They escape the IKEA without any further purchases. Fortunately, most of the rest of the store is small goods and packaged furniture, so the only thing to tempt her is the occasional surface that looks firm enough to support them both.

“Call me when you want dinner,” Mulder says when they get back to the hotel. She locks herself into her room and scans her notes on the case. She waits five minutes, fifteen, an hour. There’s no knock on her door. She starts to run a bath. Her whole body feels congested. She knows it’s not possible to die from metaphorical blue balls, unless it is and she’s about to be in the X-Files again. She wants him so much she feels like a teenager again. If they’d grown up together, he would have been her first kiss. She knows that. Four years would have made a difference until it didn’t. She would have waited for him to finally, finally see her.

She’s waiting for that now.

There’s a full length mirror near her door and she stands in front of it. There’s nothing wrong with her, surely. She’s not as buxom as some, not as curvy as others, but he’s dragged his eyes up and down her body a hundred thousand times. She’d know what that meant from anyone else. With Mulder, who knows? It could be sacred geometry. He could be comparing her to the women in the tapes he stashes under his tv. Maybe she’s just in his line of sight and he’s thinking about something else, sinusoidal curves or what inhabits the bleak depths of space, and it only looks like interest.

She squeezes her breasts, thumbs her nipples. Her own hands aren’t what she wants, but they’re familiar. She slides her palms over her body as the water thunders into the bathtub. If she closes her eyes as she tugs off her t-shirt and unbuttons her jeans, she can imagine it’s him. Fire follows her fingertips as she draws a topographical map of her body with his phantom hands. She’s down to her bra and panties when someone raps on the door.

“Just a minute,” she calls, and turns off the water. She peers through the peephole, wrapping a towel around herself. It’s Mulder. Of fucking course, it’s Mulder, interrupting her at exactly the moment she would want him to, so that he can tell her about fairy rings or the exciting properties of silicon instead of fucking her through the hotel bed.

She lets him in, rolling her eyes at herself.

“I went back to the IKEA,” he says. “In the vein of the heroes of old. I conquered the extremely domestic wilds of the main floor and I may have ordered you a POANG chair to be delivered. Also, I brought cake.” He puts two plastic boxes on her dresser. “But I didn’t know if you’d want chocolate or strawberry.”

“Why?”

“Why? We solved the case, Scully. I think a little celebration is in order. Or why the chair? I thought it would look good in your living room. I don’t have the space for one.” He looks her up and down all too briefly. What a gentleman. “Are you busy? I can come back later.”

“I’m not busy,” she says, just to see if he’ll accept it. For two people so passionately devoted to the truth, they lie to each other all the time. Maybe it’s plausible that she frequently sits around her room en déshabillé and he’s just missed it every time.

“Chocolate or strawberry?” He produces two forks. “Although I guess we can share.”

“Mulder, does it look like I want cake right now?”

He does the slow pan up and down her body this time. Heat rushes up her body, a sudden blaze that stokes the furnace in her belly to a roaring flame. She can feel the flush in her cheeks and down her chest.

“I admit, you don’t seemed dressed to dine,” he says at last.

She opens her hand, a gesture that invites him to follow his thoughts to their logical conclusion and leave.

“The cake was a ruse,” he says abruptly, ignoring her hint. “I wanted to check on you. You seemed a little off earlier.”

“Off?” She sits on the edge of the bed.

“Yeah, maybe frustrated or angry.” He drags the standard-issue chair over, sits with his knees almost brushing hers. “I wanted to make sure you were all right. It was a weird case.”

“I told you, I’m fine,” she says.

He stares at her. There’s a long, long moment, during which she thinks about kissing him. She can’t stop looking at his mouth. As if he senses her gaze, he licks his lips. “Okay.”

“Okay what?” she asks, still half-mesmerized.

He taps her knee with one finger. “You said you were fine. Okay. I’ll let you get back to whatever you were doing.” He gets up.

“What?” she says, flummoxed by his sudden pivot. “Mulder, the cake.”

“You can have it,” he says. He tosses the forks on the dresser by the cake. “Eat it in good health. I’ll be back later.”

“Where are you going?” she asks.

He paces back and forth. “I don’t know. It kind of feels like you don’t want me here.”

She opens and closes her mouth. “First of all, I’m in a state of undress.”

“I don’t care about that, Scully.”

“You don’t care?” She stands up. “What if I care?”

He makes a dismissive gesture. “I’ve seen you undressed, you’ve seen me undressed, it doesn’t have to be weird.”

“It doesn’t.” Her voice is flat with disbelief. “It doesn’t have to be weird.”

He shrugs. “Not unless you want it to be weird.”

“Fine.” She’s fed the fuck up. It’s been a long, weird, fairly excruciating day. She drops the towel.

This time Mulder really looks at her. She can feel the way his eyes drag over her skin, stopping to caress each rounded nipple, dipping toward the elastic of her panties.

“Not weird at all,” he says, but his voice is hoarse. He shifts, which makes the bulge of his erection more noticeable. Fuck it, Scully thinks. You don’t get to the moon if you never fire the rockets. She feels drunk. Mulder’s full attention has always been 100 proof.

“I wanted to fuck you in the POANG chair,” she says conversationally.

“Yeah.” He shifts again. “I wanted that too. Maybe that’s why I bought you one.”

“The way it rocks,” she says, and shivers a little, which makes him shiver too.

“I wanted to play house in those little apartments,” he tells her. “You and me, falling asleep watching tv, but in the same place for once. You and me, sharing a bed.”

“Yeah,” she says.

“Is that why you seemed mad?”

She nods. “Also I was hungry.”

“Where else did you want to fuck me?” he asks, stepping closer. His eyes have gone dark green. His pupils are wide.

“Everywhere,” she tells him.

“Wanna start with this bed and see how far we get?” His hands settle on her hips, so lightly, as if he’s afraid she’ll pull away. Instead, she drags his head down, breathes against his lips for a moment, and then kisses him.

The universe implodes. That’s what it feels like, anyway. But even if it were the end of all things, she couldn’t stop herself. He smells like pine and musk and his neck tastes like salt and she’s kissing him everywhere, everywhere. He lifts her and she wraps her legs around his waist and he has one arm around her waist and one hand under her ass and his fingers are stroking the outside of her thigh and she thinks if he’s not inside her in the next minute, she’ll just die.

He laughs and she realizes she said that out loud.

“I think so too,” he says. But he’s still dressed, he’s still wearing all his goddamn clothes, and she tugs at his shirt until he takes the hint and drags it over his head. She lets go and works on the button of his jeans. His jeans and his boxers come off together when they shove at them, and then he’s less dressed than she is. He kicks off his shoes and the tangle of denim and silk and she undoes her bra because she trusts his competence, but also she doesn’t. Need has made them so, so foolish.

“I want to,” he says, and swallows the rest of his sentence, but he hooks his thumbs into her panties and she lies back and lifts her hips. He skims the fabric down her legs. There’s hunger in his eyes. She lets him look, dropping her knees wide. He swallows hard and crawls up the bed to lie next to her.

“I wanted this to last,” he tells her.

“Me too,” she says. “I thought it would be different.” The light in his eyes dims slightly. He starts to turn his face away and she presses her palm to his cheek and turns it back. “Mulder, no. I wouldn’t change anything about this.”

“You sure?”

For answer, she kisses him, throwing her leg over his hip. Maybe it’s not what she expected. But she’s had years of self-denial, and she’s finished with that. There will be opportunities later for endless foreplay (as if every interaction since their handshake in the basement hasn’t been foreplay) and romance and slow indulgence, but she doesn’t have the patience for that. She’s already reaching for him, already wrapping her hand around his hand around his cock so they work together to guide him in. It’s such a relief that she almost cries, even though she aches as she stretches to accommodate him. And then he’s moving in her and it’s the rhythm of the universe, the pulse of existence. They’re not being safe and she doesn’t fucking care. He’s inside her, he’s touching her, he’s kissing her, and she’s wrapped around him like she can fuse their bodies together.

Every texture of him is a revelation: the hot satiny skin of his cock, the sleekness of his belly, the light fur on his chest. She knows them all and yet. And yet. It’s so different now. She feels the slickness of his lips and the rough friction of his tongue in her mouth and on her skin. It’s everything. Finally, she’s filled up, satisfied, satiated, maybe for the first time in her life. She wants more, oh God, she wants more of him. She wants to live under his ribs like that conjoined twin. She wants her bones jumbled with his. She wants him to fill her every way he can think of. She wants to buy a whole new range of sex toys and treat him just right. But for now, this is enough.

“More,” she says, and he pushes her onto her back without sliding out of her. She spreads her legs wider. He pins her, lacing his fingers into hers and stretching their arms over her head. His hips jolt as he shoves into her, harder and deeper, and she arches up to meet him. Every cell of her body feels like it’s filled with sparks of pleasure; she could map her nerves for him if she still had the power of speech. But he understands her incoherent cries. He always understands her.

She’s whimpering under him, helpless in the throes of her pleasure. The tingling starts in her extremities and washes through her, a tide rising higher and higher. She can feel his muscles tensing. His stomach is trembling. He’s holding back, wanting her to come first. One day, she thinks, she’ll indulge him, urge him to think of himself, but not tonight. She squeezes around him, taunting him. He groans and looks at her. She smirks at him and he growls in his throat. Now it’s a challenge: he has to make her come first, not just wish for it. He doesn’t let go of her, but drags their joined hands down her body. He rubs their fingers against her clit, tight circles that have her gasping. And then she’s coming, her body bucking under his, and he makes her ride it out before he’ll let go.

“Please,” she says, and he thrusts into her shivering body and she wraps her legs around him and holds him so tight as he buries his face in her shoulder and yells. He tries to roll off her right away but she won’t let go. She wants his weight, all of it, and after a moment he surrenders and lets her take it.

“We’re definitely going to fuck in that chair,” she whispers in his ear after a while.

He laughs into the curve of her neck. “We’re definitely going to fuck a lot of places.”

She kisses his ear and he turns his face so that his lips meet hers. “Making up for lost time.”

He shakes his head slowly, eyes sparkling. “We haven’t lost anything,” he says. “We’ll make our own time.”

For some reason, her eyes prickle with tears. She kisses him again, threads her hands through his hair. She believes him. Maybe they have a future full of flatpack furniture and charming antiques and lazy mornings in bed. Maybe they can celebrate all their cases like this.

“Let them eat cake,” she says, and he laughs again and holds her close.

[lilydalexf]

🌲👽 X-Files Survival/Wilderness Fic Recs

Here are some very good X-Files survival or wilderness fics. Because @thatsaprettycoolposter and @pookie-mulder asked! This list does not include post-colonization fics, which are also all survival fics of a sort. Enjoy!

Alligator Moon by jordan big monster in swamp attacks FBI agents

Antidote by Rachel Howard and Karen Rasch Strange doings in a tiny western town bring Mulder and Scully out to investigate. Once there, they uncover a deadly experiment that may cost both of them their lives.

Backtracking by Kel and Scetti What do Charlie Scully, the Alien Bounty Hunter, and Jesse "the Body" Ventura all have in common? Last April you could have found all three of them in Minnesota.

By the Wind Grieved by Karen Rasch Months have passed and Mulder is back. But things are not as they once were. He doesn’t know who he is or what Scully and he are to each other. Together they must reclaim the past before their enemies take away their future.

A Cabin in the Woods by @leiascully Mulder and Scully, on the run, stay for a while in a cabin in the mountains in Montana. A series of interlacing vignettes.

a cabin in the woods by @monikafilefan Being stuck in this rustic cabin, clearly left to age among the wilderness had Scully feeling wild herself, and it felt as if their bodies danced to an ancient song among the elements.

Camping by Amperage and Livengoo Fox Mulder and Dana Scully have survived abductions, serial killers, mutants and aliens but the Partner Cooperation Program Wilderness Encounter may finally do them in. After poison ivy and catfish, who wouldn’t long for a nice, safe killer mutant?

A Change of Seasons by Jo-Ann Lassiter A search for a mythical beast in the woods of Pennsylvania takes an alarming turn for the worse when Mulder's minor in ury escalates into a life-threatening disease.

Changing Tides by QofMush Who says change is all bad?

Circumnavigation by Suzanne Schramm Sometimes you don't know where you're going until you get there.

Coming Back by Karen Rasch Mulder gets a call from Mrs. Scully, who fears for Dana's safety. Following her instructions, he tracks his partner to a cabin in the mountains where he finds that she does indeed need his help. Memories of her time away have come back with a vengeance. (Sequel: The Calm After The Storm)

Dark Water by Suzanne Schramm Prehistoric insects. Mothmen. Now it’s a publicity-shy tribe of murderers. Just another nice trip to the forest with Mulder.

Falling Snow by Snark Mulder, Scully and a mysterious woman from Mulder's past crash in the snowy landscape of the Colorado winter.

Frozen by @dashakay The end of a case, and a stay in a log cabin during a blizzard, lead Scully to take the biggest risk of her life.

Last Chance Falls by @slippinmickeys A man. A women. A forest. A hit squad. An adventure.

The Lost by Wintersong Mulder and Scully are trapped in the remote wilderness and the art of surviving was not what they expected.

Old Growth Forest by Andrea Mulder and Scully investigate the disappearances of homeless people in Madison, Wisconsin and seemingly end up suffering the same fate.

A Path of Salt by Analise Mulder ditches Scully yet again to help an old friend in the Park Service. But Scully has never been one to sit and wait.

Tam Lin by Pequod When your local young men disappear, only to turn up dead a year later, sometimes it helps to have friends in high places. Myth and murder combine in a remote Scottish village, and Mulder and Scully investigate. The Fairy Queen is out to revenge the loss of her most prized knight, Tam Lin. Mulder believes but Scully’s not so sure, until Mulder takes a walk in the woods.

Tempest by Missy Pennington Mulder and Scully survive a plane crash to find themselves injured and stranded in the Appalachian wilderness. (Sequels: Distance, Wild Places, and Escape Me Never)

Untitled by @o6666666 Prompt: Mulder takes Scully camping and they make love for the second time ever under the stars.

Waiting in Motion by mountainphile After leaving the hot spring (in "Miraculous Manifestation"), Scully and Mulder take an unexpected detour on the way home. Dark secrets emerge when they seek shelter in a raging storm...and an intriguing X-file rears its head... (Sequel: Signs of Life)

Way Through the Woods by Pellinor and Rebecca Rusnak Three months ago, someone noticed something unusual about Scully. Now, in a desperate attempt to stave off the inevitable, Mulder has disappeared, and Scully’s only chance of finding him include an unlikely ally and an untrustworthy informant. As they make their way through the woods, can Mulder and Scully find each other, or is the future lost?

[atths--twice]

Compensation

After their quarantine in Washington, Mulder still carries guilt over what happened to their “nice trip to the forest.”

March, 1994

“Mulder, you can’t actually believe that,” Scully said, her hands on her hips as she stared at him.

He began to smile, but then stopped as he caught sight of the red rash on her face that still lingered from their trip to Washington state. She had attempted to cover it with makeup, but he could still see it and it made him feel bad once again.

“Why can’t I believe it?” he asked, though his mirth lessened slightly as he pulled his eyes from her face, thinking back to the moment when she had finally woken up in the contamination facility.

She had been disoriented, blinking her eyes in the harsh light. Turning her head, she had looked at him as he sat beside her.

“Hi,” he had whispered, watching her struggle to swallow. “Water?”

“Please,” she had rasped out, closing her eyes again. He had risen carefully, still feeling the effects of the bugs that had attacked them, and gotten her a cup of ice water, adding a straw as he walked back to her.

“You don’t need to sit up,” he had said. “I’ve got a straw here. I’ll hold it for you. Take small sips.”

She had taken only a few pulls before taking her mouth from the straw and lying back on the pillow, her eyes closed.

“Thank you,” she had said, her voice still a little scratchy.

“You’re welcome,” he had said, staring at the red marks on her face and shaking his head. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t think it would… that we would end up in that situation.”

“Hmm,” she had hummed.

“Do you remember what happened?”

“Yeah,” she had said, opening her eyes slowly and looking at him, taking in his own injuries. “I do remember. You okay?”

“I am now. Seeing that you’re okay.”

“Hmm,” she had hummed again, her hand coming out from under the blanket covering her and reaching out for his hand. He had taken it and held it gently, careful of the rash that covered the top of it. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Yeah,” he had said, watching as she had fallen back to sleep, the light grip on his hand relaxing.

“How can you believe it, Mulder?” she asked, pulling him back to the present.

“Believe what?” he asked and she shook her head with a small chuckle.

“Did you seriously forget what we were just talking about? Should I schedule you an appointment to get your head examined?”

“Probably not a good idea. They might not let me out once I go in there.”

“If you held back any discussions about aliens, I’d say you’d be safe,” she said, laughing again.

“In that case, I’ll have to decline and hope for the best.”

“Hmm,” she hummed, shaking her head.

“We should get some lunch,” he said and she looked at him in surprise. “What? Are you not hungry?”

“I… I am. I just…” She looked around the office, at the slideshow he had just finished playing, and then glanced at the clock. “It’s quarter until eleven.”

“An early lunch then,” he said, shutting off the projector and smiling at her.

“Okaaaay,” she said, frowning though she still smiled.

“Wherever you want to go. My treat.”

“What?!” she asked, pulling back and staring at him, her eyebrows now raised. “Your treat? To anywhere I want to go?”

“Yep,” he said with a nod.

“Forget my disbelief over what you said earlier, this is the strangest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“That I want to treat you to lunch?”

“Yeah,” she said, nodding and crossing her arms.

“I’ve paid for meals,” he said defensively.

“There’s a difference between paying and treating,” she stated.

“Huh… I suppose you have a point there,” he said and she nodded again. “Well, the offer still stands. Early lunch. My treat.”

“Wherever I want,” she added and he smiled, his eyes quickly sweeping across her face.

“Wherever you want,” he confirmed. “Wait, let me check my wallet. Make sure I have enough cash.”

“Oh, I’m not worried about the amount of cash you have. You can use a credit card,” she said, turning and grabbing her coat.

“That’s nice.”

“You offered. Twice. Can’t take it back now,” she said, sliding on her coat and raising her eyebrows at him as she put her hands in her pockets.

“Is this gonna cost a lot?”

“It might. I have expensive tastes.”

“I’d say that’s half right.”

“Would you?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, taking his coat off the coat rack and putting it on. “I’ve seen your apartment. Your suits. But… I’ve also seen you devour a burger at two in the morning in a greasy diner. So…” He shrugged and she narrowed her eyes at him.

“I just added dessert to the meal. So, be ready for that extra charge.”

He laughed as he opened the door, letting her walk out first.

“If my card is declined, you’ll have to wash some dishes.”

“You will,” she said, waiting for him to lock the door before they continued down the hall.

“So much for partners,” he muttered.

“Yeah. My line of loyalty is drawn at doing dishes to pay for my meal.”

“Nice to know there’s a line.”

“Yup,” she said, pushing the up button for the elevator as he smiled.

________

She chose Alberto’s, an Italian restaurant near the bureau. They had just opened and seemed surprised by their early arrival.

“We beat the lunch rush,” he said as they sat down.

“Any rush, for that matter,” she said, picking up her menu and glancing around at the empty dining room. “At least the service will be good. We have no competition for attention.”

“Exactly my plan.”

“Oh. You had this planned? Okay,” she said, smiling at him and then looking down at her menu. “Hmm… wonder if they have lobster.” He laughed, catching her eye as she quickly raised hers.

“My guess is no, but indulge, if that’s what you’d like.”

“Nah. I’ll keep looking.”

“You do that.”

In the end, she decided on a spinach tortellini in a light tomato sauce and a side salad. Garlic breadsticks were brought over and he waited for her to take one first, watching the way she ripped it apart and ate little bites as they waited for their food.

“I can share with you, if you’d like,” she offered, chewing slowly.

“You’re only offering because mine sounds better,” he said, taking a large bite of the breadstick. “Nothing quite compares to pasta in a rich creamy sauce.”

“You like spinach.”

“Eh, it’s okay. Better when it’s wrapped in some form of dough,” he said with a nod as he chewed.

“Well then, you’ll be happy to share with me and vice versa.”

“We’ll see,” he said, knowing full well he would share his meal as he often did. She smirked and looked towards the door of the restaurant as other people came in for lunch, chatting and laughing.

“Look at those suckers. Every one of them is already running late.”

He laughed quietly as he looked at them and then back at her. She smiled and ate another bite of her breadstick.

Forty five minutes later, stuffed from their meal, they walked out of the restaurant.

“Sure you didn’t want a dessert?” he asked as they began to walk back to the bureau.

“Ugh, no,” she said, shaking her head, a hand on her stomach.

“My card could’ve handled it. No dishes would have been required,” he said, glancing at her and watching her smile.

“Good to know. But the thought of it now doesn’t hold the same appeal and getting something to go would have no place to remain chilled.”

“Maybe I’ll have to make good on it when we leave tonight. Stop and get you an ice cream or something.”

“Maybe,” she said, smiling at him as he smiled back, the rash on her face still causing his eyes to linger a second longer than usual.

“I’ll buy you a pint.”

“Make it a half gallon and you’ve got a deal,” she said and he chuckled with a nod.

“Alright then. Deal.”

“Good,” she said, their arms brushing slightly as he chuckled again and slid his hands in his pockets.

[gaycrouton]

Who ended up in the hospital more: Mulder or Scully?

The following calculations come from the hard work of @xfilesobsession​, my idol 

Note: this is solely a list of their on-screen hospital appearances where they were admitted as patients (in gowns), not all the times they were injured and/or briefly taken care of.

Beyond the Sea (1x13) 

Patient: Fox Mulder 

Reason: He was shot during a rescue mission. 

Current Total Mulder: 1 Scully: 0

Darkness Falls (1x20) 

Patient: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully 

Reason: They took a nice trip to the forest and were almost devoured by insects. 

*semantically speaking, this is a quarantine facility 

Current Total Mulder: 2 Scully: 1

One Breath (2x08)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She was ding dong ditched at the hospital by the people who had abducted her for months. The hospital was apparently so shocked, they forgot to give her a blanket :/

Current Total Mulder: 2 Scully: 2

Colony (2x16) and End Game (2x17)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He was exposed to the Alien Bounty Hunter’s blood.

*counts as one since Colony begins in medias res with events from End Game.

Current Total Mulder: 3 Scully: 2

Død Kalm (2x19)

Patient: Fox Mulder and Dana Scully

Reason: They were on a ship where “contaminated water caused rapid oxidative damage and dramatically increased sodium chloride in the body,” (Scully, 1995).

Current Total Mulder: 4 Scully: 3

Apocrypha (3x16)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Mulder’s car is run off the road.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 3

Wetwired (3x23)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully becomes victim to the control of a device that incites paranoid delusions.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 4

Memento Mori (4x14)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She’s diagnosed with terminal brain cancer.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 5

Redux II (5x02)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Her terminal cancer flares up, but she is cured. Hopefully alien implants are part of her health insurance plan.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 6

The Red and The Black (5x13)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She sustained burns and smoke inhalation.

Current Total Mulder: 5 Scully: 7

Folie à Deux (5x19)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Mulder began seeing things others couldn’t (according to Scully, he was succumbing to folie à deux — shared psychosis), and Skinner had him committed.

Current Total Mulder: 6 Scully: 7

Fight the Future (1998)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He is shot by the people who abduct Scully.

Current Total Mulder: 7 Scully: 7

Triangle (6x03)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: While searching for the Queen Anne, he wrecked his ship.

Current Total Mulder: 8 Scully: 7

Tithonus (6x10)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully was accidentally shot by a fellow agent during a case.

Current Total Mulder: 8 Scully: 8

Biogenesis (6x22) and The Sixth Extinction (7x01)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He’s hospitalized for being in critical condition due to his abnormal brain activity.

*counts as one since he was never relocated/discharged in between episodes.

Current Total Mulder: 9 Scully: 8

The Sixth Extinction (7x01) and The Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati (7x02)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Abnormal Brain Activity (cont.)

*counts as a new one since he was relocated by Skinner and remains there in between these two episodes

Current Total Mulder: 10 Scully: 8

Signs and Wonders (7x09)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Attacked by snakes

Current Total Mulder: 11 Scully: 8

Brand X (7x18)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: Beetle eggs began hatching in his lungs.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 8

Requiem (7x22)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: Scully faints at the office after realizing Mulder was in danger. It is later revealed she’s pregnant.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 9

Without (8x02)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She’s in a physical altercation with the Alien Bounty Hunter which leaves her with several injuries.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 10

Via Negativa (8x07)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She checked herself into the hospital after feeling acute abdominal pain.

Current Total Mulder: 12 Scully: 11

DeadAlive (8x14) and Three Words (8x15)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: “Brought back from the dead.”

*counts as one since it is the same hospital stay between episodes

Current Total Mulder: 13 Scully: 11

Empedocles (8x17)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason: She had some abdominal pain that turned out to be a partial abruption.

Current Total Mulder: 13 Scully: 12

Babylon (10x05)

Patient: Fox Mulder

Reason: He woke up in the hospital after apparently embarrassing himself while under the influence of placebos he believed were magic mushrooms.

Current Total Mulder: 14 Scully: 12

My Struggle III (11x01)

Patient: Dana Scully

Reason(s): She suffered from a seizure in the office; then another while driving and she crashed.

*this counts as two because she left the hospital and was brought back a second time.

Current Total Mulder: 14 Scully: 14

So how many times did we see Mulder and Scully admitted to the hospital?

Overall Total 🏥 Mulder: 14 Scully: 14

It’s a tie! 🥳

I stated earlier that this is not every time they were injured and not every time they went to the hospital. Instead, it is every time we saw them while they were admitted to the hospital as a patient.

As with everything, this can be calculated in different ways.

There were instances where we saw them go to the hospital for something temporary (Blood, Gesthemane) and there are episodes where they definitely went to hospital, but we didn’t see them (Zero Sum, Never Again).

This also doesn’t take into account variables like length of hospital stay or injury v. illness. It’s impossible to know the full circumstances in some cases and overall to estimate who spent the most *time* in the hospital.

All to say, this was just for fun and I acknowledge it is not comprehensive based on different criteria (so don’t come for me), but I do believe it is every time we see them on screen admitted in hospital gowns.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

my favorite mulder moments from s1

that time he was straight up reading a porn magazine in his office because it mentioned some alien stuff and he needed to Research (a million bonus points for scully's reaction)

when in episode 6, he knocked at a suspect's door, asked if they could come in, and then barged in without waiting for an answer (it was at this moment i knew i was gonna be down bad for this man)

giving a random guy off the street his hotel key in episode 5 so he can do a stakeout from the road, which leads him to getting arrested

every single time he guides scully into the room with a hand on her back... i could not even begin to list all of these times because it's at LEAST once an episode

when he gets ripped apart by the jersey devil but still speaks about how beautiful she is and tries to protect her

(and when he tries to protect the alien hybrid guy in the s1 finale as well, but both times he fails to do so)

when he runs into his old friend in episode 16 and greets him by singing his name

seeing him beg on his knees in a church, praying for his sister's return

"scully! it's potato" <- god tier. to me.

bringing a picture of his sister to the hotel on their trip to tennessee in episode 18

when he knelt down and opened the dead guy's mouth in episode 19 knowing there would be fangs in there and then did not elaborate

when he clarifies that he isn't lying, but "willfully participating in a campaign of misinformation"

"only one man's successfully faked his death... (in a god-awful southern drawl) elvis" proclaimed in such a matter-of-fact tone

when he finds his alien-obsessed stalker having a seizure in episode 10 and carefully tucks him back into bed

(and then we see he took alien guy’s hat as a souvenir, which he leaves hanging in his office, after he passed away. no it’s fine i’m fine!!!)

when he remembers the agent he lost during his first case in episode 16, storms out of the building in grief, and goes to watch the dead agent's son play football

when he gets very angry at deep throat for being willing to conduct some corrupt bargaining with the government (despite. y'know. all the other horrible things the FBI has done. his morals were outraged here)

when he finally takes the shot at the guy who vowed to kill him (big character development here! who cheered! while also mourning the damage to his optimism!)

and in a similar vein, when he faced his fear of fire in episode 12 to go rescue the kids in the burning building <3

when he and scully arrive in tennessee to do some alien sleuthing and he busts out a ton of little gadgets

every single time this insufferable man fell asleep on his couch

him ripping his entire apartment apart at around 3 am on a mission to find tracking devices

that time he just really wanted to go see the liberty bell at the end of episode 6

the guilt in his voice when he sees scully in a hospital bed at the end of episode 20, and he says "i told her it was going to be a nice trip to the forest" ... pain.

when he defends openly proclaiming eugene tooms to be a lizard monster in court, no matter how wild it makes him look, because “I don’t care how it sounds as long as it’s the truth” (ah truth motif, my beloved)

also, jumpscaring tooms with the tale of his lost elkhound with whom he hunts moose

[jimmymcgill]

a creation for every month of 2022 tagged by the wonderful @bellamuertes and @wexler-mcgill 💛 to post my favourite and most popular post from each month this year.

january

most popular: scully in the jersey devil (txf)

my favourite: jimmy comforting kim (bcs)

february

most popular: “what’s a girl?” (txf)

my favourite: kim’s birthday gifset :) (bcs)

march

most popular: mulder and scully + film projector (txf)

my favourite: gene + nevermind (bcs)

april

most popular: “YOU THINK OF MEEEEEE” (bcs)

my favourite: blue (bcs)

may

most popular: terminator dolores (westworld)

my favourite: black and blue (bcs)

june

most popular and my favourite: beauty gurus (brba&bcs)

july

most popular: jesse what the hell are you talking about (brba)

my favourite: jesse + i'll be good (brba) & mcwexler + i guess (bcs)

august

most popular: pew pew (bcs)

my favourite: bad choice road (bcs)

september

most popular: galadriel in udûn (trop)

my favourite: jimmy + clickhole headlines (bcs)

october

most popular: halbrand (trop)

my favourite: galadriel & ophelia parallels (trop)

november

most popular and my favourite: daniel, husband of the year (1899)

december

most popular: “come on, scully. it'll be a nice trip to the forest” (txf)

my favourite: mcwexler + video games (bcs)

tagging @abnerkrill, @andremichaux, @brumarchesine, @enidsinclair, @fukutomichi, @jewish-mulder, @jeonwonwoo, @johncho, @thelvadams, @userbabygirl, @vindicia 💛 (if you want)

[illaisland]

Darkness Falls!

"Come on, Scully, it'll be a nice trip to the forest."

Reblog and claim the X-Files episode that takes place closest to your hometown!

(If you need a refresher, here is a list-not mine)

I haven’t seen this far in the show but apparently I get an episode called Demons (seasoned viewers: did I get a good one?)

[mulderscully]

Come on, Scully. It'll be a nice trip to the forest.

[sisterspooky1013]

Red-Handed, Chapter 23

Chapter rating: X | Read it here on AO3

This is a joint work with @xfmaweezy

When she arrives at the unremarkable house, the front door is open.

“Mulder?” she calls as the screen door snaps shut behind her.

The house is quiet and still, and while his car is in the driveway it’s immediately clear that he is not home. She feels a pang of irritation at his lack of consideration, especially since they’d discussed this. Not following through on things, canceling on her last minute: these were the types of behaviors he’d committed to putting an end to when she agreed to rekindle their relationship.

She huffs a disappointed sigh and is about to leave when she sees a sheet of paper on the dining room table with her name written in big block letters across the top.

SCULLY,

Went ’squatchin’. If I’m not back when you get here, come find me at the hideout.

Mulder

Her eyes roll at the same time her mouth smirks, and she heads out the back door to the woods behind the house. “The hideout,” as Mulder calls it, is a rudimentary hut made from tree branches in which he sits watch for any sign of his favorite mythical creature. She picks her way through the bramble of the forest floor, ducking under a fallen tree and avoiding a patch of stinging nettle that has gotten her once before. Finally, she sees the yellowing branches of Mulder’s hideout and calls his name.

There is no response, and she steps into the small pseudo-structure to find it empty. Irritation is beginning to swell again when the ground before her moves, rising up into a humanlike form. She gasps, taking a quick step back and tripping over a vine before she lands squarely on her ass on the ground.

“Hey, it’s me,” she hears Mulder’s voice say, and the figure before her turns to reveal his face, cloaked in a suit that looks like he’s wearing the forest floor as a costume.

“Jesus, Mulder, you scared me,” she says with relief, and he offers his hand to help her up.

She brushes dirt off the seat of her jeans and eyes him skeptically.

“Isn’t this cool?” he says with boyish excitement. “It’s a ghillie suit. It helps me blend in with the forest.”

“It certainly does,” she says flatly, deciding not to ask him how much this ridiculous thing cost. It covers everything but his face, hands, and feet, and he must be sweating buckets on what is an unseasonably warm day.

“You look nice,” he says with a leer, and she looks down at her jeans and T-shirt: a completely unexceptional outfit.

“Wish I could say the same,” she retorts with a smile that tells him she means it good-naturedly. He steps forward and puts his hands on her hips, and the fake grass on his suit tickles her forearms. “Mulder,” she says in a warning tone, and he smiles at her devilishly.

He bends forward and presses his lips to the side of her neck, and her eyes go wide with surprise at the little rush it gives her. Certainly it’s not the suit, but maybe being outside in the woods gives her some kind of thrill. They’ve made love outside before, on more than one hot summer night where they slept in the back yard to escape the heat of the house, but this is the middle of the day, and on property that is not exclusively theirs. A little bit of danger has always appealed to her.

His fingers find the button on the fly of her jeans and he pauses, waiting for the answer to a question he doesn’t have to explicitly ask.

“I think maybe there’s a bit of an obstacle here, Mulder,” she says as she grabs a tuft of the suit’s material over his groin and tugs on it.

“Never fear, Scully. They thought of everything,” he says as he takes her hand and threads it into an opening that is most likely designed to allow the wearer to urinate without removing the suit. She finds that he has on only boxers underneath, and is three quarters of the way to fully erect.

“That they did,” she says, slipping her hand under the cotton of his boxers and stroking him slowly. He’s sweaty, but she doesn’t imagine that whatever it is they’re about to do will bring her close enough to be bothered by that fact.

He walks them backwards towards a fallen tree, kissing her all the way, then turns her around and unbuttons her jeans. It feels obscene, like she’s about to fuck a swamp monster, but she’s just curious enough to continue. She helps him push her jeans and panties down to her knees, then leans forward and rests her hands on the fallen tree for stability. She steals a glance around them as she feels him press against her opening, dragging the head up and down to gather moisture before he pushes into her.

It is, by far, the most ridiculous sex she’s ever had. The suit makes a little whooshing sound that reminds of a grass skirt as he thrusts into her, and the material of it is itchy and strange against her bare skin. It’s not bad, but it’s not good enough that she’s going to get off, so she just lets it be something fun for him. He grunts and grabs at her hips, speeding up and slowing down as he tries to last.

“It’s okay, Mulder, don’t wait for me,” she tells him, knowing that she will be well taken care of later for indulging in this little escapade.

He groans and increases to a sloppy pace, skin slapping and fake grass whooshing, and birds tittering as they take flight in the canopy above their heads. He makes a deep, animalistic sound when he comes, and she makes a face to herself as she realizes she has nothing to clean up with and will be trekking back to the house with his cum dripping into her panties.

They right themselves, she pulling up her pants and he tucking himself back into the ghillie suit, and she turns around to find an utter look of adoration on his face.

“You really do love me, don’t you?” he asks with disbelief.

She kisses him sweetly and smiles.

“I really do.”

–

Two weeks later, they sit at the kitchen table, drinking coffee and reading their respective news sources: Wall Street Journal for her, Cryptid Chronicle for him. He takes a sip off his coffee and then nearly chokes, spraying a fine mist over the front of her paper before she lowers it to ask him if he’s okay.

“Yeah,” he rasps out, grabbing a glass of water and gulping it down. “Sorry.”

He excuses himself to the bathroom, taking the paper with him, but ducks into his office instead. He looks over the article, which features a blurry, poorly framed black and white photograph beneath the headline “Swamp Monster Spotted Mating with Human Woman in Virginia Woods.” In the photo, a fair-skinned woman is bent over a tree with her face turned away from the camera, and a grassy form is slumped over her, clearly mid-coitus.

He carefully clips the article, slipping it into a plastic sheet protector. He files it in a binder full of other cryptid related news articles, something he can be absolutely sure Scully will never have occasion to look through.

Back at the table, he refills his coffee and takes the crossword from their local paper to start filling it out.

“It’s a nice day,” she says absently, eyes on the paper. “Did you have any plans?”

“I might go ’squatchin’ a bit later,” he says, and her mouth quirks to the side.

“You’ll have to go solo this time, I’m afraid,” she says with a smirk. “That was a one-time only deal.”

“Yeah,” he agrees. “I think that’s probably for the best.”

Tagging @today-in-fic

[medicaldoctordana]

Can you write something with mulder’s boyish charm and Scully absolutely delighted by it?

Well it's not exactly that but it sure is something.

Scientific Integrity

Rated G

W/C: 650

“Look, Scully! I found another one!”

“Mulder, when you said a nice trip to the forest, I was skeptical. Especially considering how the last two nice trips turned out. But this, this one’s actually kind of nice.” Scully’s smile was bright, it was the one she usually reserved for quiet moments of joy. Like biting into her mother’s corned beef, or seeing the name of an old med school friend in her medical journals.

Scully looked up through the trees, astounded by their height and the peaceful sounds they made in the breeze. They had only been walking through the woods for a mere hour. The sun was shining and the heat was abnormal but satisfying for an October in Washington. This trip was much more pleasant than the last time they traipsed around the Olympic National Forest.

“Woolly bear’s stripes are said to predict the conditions of the upcoming winter. You see here?-”

Mulder brought his palm up to Scully’s face with the wiggly little caterpillar crawling from finger to thumb.

“The more black there is on their body, the harsher the winter will be. But then, you also have to take into consideration the amount of orange, and! And! Where its head is and how far the coloring extends before shifting.”

Mulder’s free hand indicated where the borders were on the particular caterpillar resting in his hand.

“You see here, Scully?”

Yes, she saw there, his childlike delight.

“Here we can see that the orange is equidistant from both sections of black, which span the same length. You'd think from this that the area will see a moderate winter. It starts moderate and will end moderate. The Isabella tiger moth will hatch come May.”

Mulder made frequent eye contact with Scully, eyes shifting back and forth from her to the caterpillar. Her gaze, however, rarely glanced downward.

With a giddy grin, Mulder somehow produced another caterpillar and placed it beside the other.

“But this caterpillar here- he barely has any orange. He’s telling us it will be a harsh winter. Starting moderate but ending harsh. See how far the black extends on both sides, Scully?”

Mulder sustained his gaze as he waited with bated breath for her answer.

“Yes, Mulder. I see.” Scully’s arms were crossed in amusement. Some days her job felt more like babysitting and less like professional investigating.

“Good that's great because here we have a third caterpillar with-”

“Mulder, how many caterpillars do you have?” Scully interrupted.

“Just seven,” he responded innocently like he’d been asked how many of his mother’s vases or lamps he broke while playing baseball inside.

“Mulder!” Scully’s eyes widened at the number. Surely he wasn't going to perform this little show and tell with all seven of the caterpillars. And where was he hiding the other four?

“What? Scully! We’re in the forest. It's prime larvae time. These little critters have to start their metamorphosis before the weather turns too cold. If I picked up each one I saw along the way I’d have 27, not just seven. Be happy, Scully. I could be crawling with ‘pillars right now but instead, I selected only the most prestigious of crawlers for scientific integrity. I thought you'd be proud.”

Scully rolled her eyes, “Mulder if you were concerned with scientific integrity, you'd know to pick seven at random to get a more accurate accumulation of data points. By hand selecting seven out of 27, you've tainted your data with personal bias.”

“Scully you wound me! How dare you accuse me of inciting bias!”

“It's not an accusation Mulder, it's fact! You have a biased sample group!”

“Well, lucky for you, there are still another three miles to our destination. Plenty of time to un-bias my sample group.”

Scully’s eyes were getting sore at the number of rolls they were engaging in. She took back her sentiment, this trip wasn't that nice.

[the-spooky-alien]

@cock-holliday I blame you for this. This is the most ridiculous thing I have ever written, hope you'll like it !

This is it. The breaking point. There is no turning back anymore. She can almost see the last bits of her freedom flying away, leaving behind a bitter taste of something she will never get the pleasure to have anymore.

Fox Mulder has truly and completely lost his mind.

''Mulder,'' she says wearily, raising one eyebrow to answer his sheepish grin, ''are you suggesting that we go hunting werewolves ? In the middle of the night ?''

Mulder's grin turns more suave, taking an edge of his boyish charm that works too well on her. ''Well, it wouldn't be werewolves if they didn't turn under the moonlight.''

She stares at him, barely resisting the urge to roll her eyes – her eyeballs have regularly begun to hurt from all the rolling she put them through. Instead, she allows herself to sigh. ''Right.''

Turning his back on her, he brings one hand through his hair, the other flapping in the air excitedly as he makes his way to his desk. ''You see Scully, I was beginning to get bored from our lack of activities-''

The lack of activities in question isn't actually a lack of activites. They have trekked through more forests this past month than ever in their partnership. But without proof, their investigations are meaningless. She secretly thinks he feels guilty for taking her on more 'nice trip to the forest'.

(And he should be. She lost more than a few pairs of shoes in those damn forests. It prompted a lot of tired sighs and rolling eyes. Which, led to the hurting.)

''So, what do you think ?''

He hasn't lost his boyish grin, watching her reaction like a kid waiting for Santa Claus, and it's taking her a lot of strength to repress the smile fighting to see the surface. But she doesn't let anything on, choosing to show the mild irritation she feels at having to go through a trip to the forest. Again.

Crossing her arm, she raises her other eyebrow, leveling him with a warning glare. ''I believe someone is thinking themself very funny by calling the FBI for nothing.''

''Oh, c'mon Scully, it'll be a-''

She gives in the impulse. Rolling her eyes, she snaps, ''If you say one more time the words 'nice' and 'trip' and 'forest' in the same sentence, I will castrate you.''

To her utter horror, his face falls, boyish grin disappearing behind a not very manly pout, as Mulder flops back in his chair, dejected. He looks like a sad puppy.

God, he looks like a sad puppy she just kicked.

''I understand,'' he mutters, staring blankly at the desk, gathering his papers with slow, sluggish movements. ''You're not forced to come, I will go by myself and get eaten by a very dangerous werewolf.'' His eyes dart back to her, gauging her reaction. She rolls her eyes. He stares a bit more blankly than before. ''Did I mention how alone and lonely I will be ? Because I will be so, so alone and-''

''Fine, I'll go with you'' she snaps again, sharper, crossing her arms before sighing wearily. And rolling her eyes. Again. Because he's being irritating with his blank stare and pouty lips.

Not because she wants the boyish grin back.

The blinding smile he throws her is, fortunately for her, very boyish. ''Aww, Scully, I always knew you couldn't resist a nice trip to the forest !''

She rolls her eyes, sighing wearily.

[leonardbetts]

“Come on, Scully, it'll be a nice trip to the forest.”

[baronessblixen]

Nah that's fine :) take your time with it but I might as well say this just in case other people who also write would see it. Uh prompt would be Mulder giving Scully a piggyback ride because her little legs are tired, way tired and Mulder sees it so he gives her a piggyback ride (or bridal style whichever) also have a good day.

I finally wrote it! I apologize that it took me so long. Set around late season 5. Tagging @today-in-fic and @xffictober2021

Wc: 1018

Fictober Day 21

These Shoes Were (Not) Made For Walking

She shouldn't have let Ellen talk her into buying these heels. But for once she felt like Dana, not Scully, and she wanted shoes that were beautiful and not practical. Her friend had encouraged her like only old friends can; with a grin and a promise that these shoes would be worth their money.

Scully, happy to have Ellen back in her life, to be alive at all, nodded and bought them. That was her first mistake. The second was deciding to wear them to work this morning. What was she thinking? She's working with A-nice-trip-to-the-woods Mulder. Her poor new high heels are a lost cause in the muddy, slippery forest.

But they give their all; they're worth their money, try to carry her through. Her legs and feet are the ones that give in first. Pain shoots through her calves, making her wince. Mulder is a few steps ahead of her, struggling on the ground himself. If only he had warned her. If only she had brought an emergency pair of sneakers.

"Scully? Why are you stopping?" He turns around, looking more like a hiker than an FBI agent. She wants to throw something at him. Maybe a branch or some dirt. Or her shoes. Now there's an idea.

"I can't - why didn't you tell me we'd be going to the woods, Mulder?" He looks at her for what seems like the first time all day. He takes in her attire: at least she's wearing slacks instead of a skirt. Unlike him, she's all business, from head to toe. He mouths a little 'oh' and she sees embarrassment cross his face.

"I didn't think, I-"

"You couldn't wait. You didn't have the time to call me and tell me we would be out here."

"Fuck, Scully. Have you been wearing these heels all this time?"

"Oh, Mulder," she says with a soft laugh; only he would ask a question like that. She can't be mad at him. This is Mulder. The man who probably didn't even have to bring his hiking shoes to work today because he has them stored at the office.

"I'm sorry, Scully. I may have been too excited." He runs a hand through his already messy hair. He looks similar to the woodland creature he dragged them out here to find. Her anger dissipates and she smiles at him.

"I'm going to buy you hiking boots," he says, walking back to her. "Come on, get on my back."

"Excuse me?"

"You can't walk anymore," she opens her mouth to protest but Mulder gets on his knees in front of her. It's a good thing they're alone here cause it looks as if he were getting ready to propose.

"I'm going to give you a piggy ride. Hop on."

"No. Mulder, no. I can walk - look." She takes a few steps and it's obvious that each one is painful.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you let me carry you."

"This is ridiculous." Mulder nods, taking a sip from his water bottle before he offers it to Scully. She drinks, too, glaring at him. He can't be serious. Can he? She shouldn't even entertain the idea. It's ludicrous. But so is the thought of walking in these heels, on her legs.

"Okay," she says, trying it out. "But um, only until we're out of the woods."

Mulder bites his lip, obviously stopping himself from making a joke.

"Hop on."

It must have been at least 20 years since she's done this. Back when she was young, a child, running wild and carefree. She tries to channel Dana again, like she did when she bought these damn shoes, and puts her arms around Mulder's neck.

"Ready?" He asks as his arms go under her legs.

"Ready," she confirms. He gets up and she tightens her grip on him. Mulder huffs before he starts walking.

"Am I too heavy?" Scully asks, surprisingly comfortable on Mulder's back. It's warm from carrying the backpack that's now on her back.

"You weigh nothing, Scully. I could do this all day." His breathing betrays his words but Scully lets it slide. She put her head against his back, her nose nuzzling his neck.

"Um, Scully?"

"Hmm?" She asks, nuzzling him some more. He's so hot there and smells so good. She can't stop. She doesn't want to. This is her reward for walking in her heels all day. She probably has blisters. What if she can't get them clean again? Mulder owes her more than one pair of shoes.

"It tickles."

"Oh, I'm sorry." She stops nuzzling him, missing his skin against hers right away.

"Don't be. It felt nice but I'm scared I might let you fall."

"You wouldn't," she says quietly, knowing it for certain.

"No, I wouldn't," he replies and she's glad he can't see her face. It's easier to admit these things like this. They can pretend they didn't happen, or pretend they didn't hear. "Not if I can help it anyway. We're almost there."

"You can let me down now."

"No way. I'm carrying you to our car. It's the least I can do."

True to his word, he doesn't let her down until they reach the car. She slides down his back and smiles at him, her whole body warm. Thanks to him.

"Did you enjoy your ride, Ms. Scully?" He asks, trying to keep his face serious.

"It was nice."

"Nice? Ouch. So you won't use this mode of transportation again? How can I convince you to change your mind?"

"Hm, you mentioned hiking boots."

"You will get them."

"Then I might reconsider."

"Yes," Mulder says, doing a little victory dance.

"But now I want to get out of here," Scully says. "I want to take off these shoes."

"Your wish is my command."

"And dinner."

"Dinner it is. I could even carry you up to your apartment, Scully."

"Don't push your luck, Mulder."

But as he drives, and she takes off her shoes, she thinks about it, about him carrying her upstairs, maybe even bridal style. She can't help but smile.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

season 1 episode 20 thoughts

oh i did NOT think the BUG episode would be the scariest one so far, but here we are!!!!

so there are some weird disappearances in the pacific northwest again. famously a spooky place (see twilight for further details)

we see the bugs start swarming and i did NOT like that <3

cut to mulder and scully in his office, he's showing her a bunch of lumberjacks that he describes as "rugged manly men in the full blood of their manhood" which is. already a lot to unpack. but he asks scully to notice anything off about them.

she is, rightfully confused, and says "what am i looking for?" "anything strange, unusual, unlikely, a boyfriend"

now mulder. you sound like you are into lumberjacks. this is a safe space to share your thoughts on the subject of rugged manly men.

(scully laughs at this. she was probably also thinking, man, he seems really into that. we can unpack that later. but she wouldn't press him on that subject because she is respectful)

but he's so excited to go! he pulled strings to get the case and he says "c'mon scully, it'll be a nice trip to the forest" which is somewhat charming but again this is the forest where people disappear so i would personally be LESS excited to visit than he was

(oh. and the fact that he told her it would be a nice trip gets a LOT sadder later)

so they trek up the mountain in their raincoats! and get stuck in the back of a truck together! all things that we want to happen to them!

there seems to be this war going on between ecoterrorists and loggers that they've stumbled into. and the logger guy says that these ecoterrorists are "treehuggers" who are the same as those who "went up to Canada in the Vietnam War... they're cowardly and so are their tactics"

and it's so rare you learn exactly what to think of a person with one sentence they say but boy. is this a prime example.

they find a suspicious cocoon in the trees and decide scully should be lifted up and investigate which i thought was RUDE. why her? hasn't she done enough? i mean i think the real answer was she was small enough to fit in the lifty contraption but still. she sees a desiccated hand sticking out and 2+2 is starting to look a lot like 4

they drag the cocoon to the ground and cut it open and she says it feels like the body has had all its fluids drained from it, which is exactly the kind of knowledge i think is attractive in a woman to possess

at this point, i made a note that as far as evils go, i certainly could believe man eating bugs. bigfoot, as they note in the episode, seems far-fetched for this case, but if i woke up tomorrow and checked the news and saw that a new bug was eating people in washington i'd be like damn, hope my mutuals there are okay. but would i have trouble believing it? ABSOLUTELY not.

the environmentalist they rescued seems to think that the bugs are coming from the old growth trees, which i found to be a very compelling argument from the show to Leave the Damn Trees Alone. logging rates must have crumbled after this hit the airwaves.

and he reveals that the bugs HATE the light, so now fuel preservation is very important. the old logger guy runs away and gets eaten and tbh i wasn't that sad sorry.

scully gets some of the bugs from a core sample of the old-growth tree and starts talking about what she learned in biology courses about them. i am very much in support of bug facts with scully and would attend many hours of this lecture.

they find an old radio but it's broken :( but mulder fixes it! which tells us he knows how to fix things. what a Rugged Manly Man.

the environmentalist takes the last of the fuel to go and rescue his friends and mulder stops him at gunpoint but ultimately lets him go. now they have like, no fuel!!!! and the others- scully included- are pissed! if it gets dark they will die because the bugs will eat them which is a lousy way to go! they argue for a bit and then realize they should patch up any sort of holes in the walls to prevent bugs getting in. scully is justified in her anger, i would say.

(actually thought this was a great detail. mulder is so trusting. he genuinely believes that people can be good, or rehabilitated if they aren't. he trusts the deepthroat figure and is deeply hurt when he tries to lead them down the wrong path. and when that one guy who vowed to kill him was on the loose, he still wanted to take him alive. he seems to fully believe that people can be good, even at the expense of his own safety)

i sat back to watch the next scene and things got very intense VERY FAST. the bugs start getting into the cabin despite their best preparation and scully freaks the fuck out. she's panicking, swatting her arms, backed up against the wall, screaming "mulder, get them off of me" and he holds her while he tries to explain that they're okay, the bugs won't swarm while they're in the light.

this, to me, was excellent. exactly the level of angst/comfort i can hope for when i click play on an episode. i love to see our normally stoic characters lose their minds, and i think this is the wildest we have ever seen her (with a close second being the time she told the psychic that if he hurt mulder she would kill him herself) and i loved that she asked mulder to get them off of her, seeming so desperate to believe that was a thing he was capable of doing. she trusts him so entirely.

so after that they sit on the bed next to each other with their shoulders touch. which is fine! i'm fine. toooootally fine. and she explains to him how the bugs are like fireflies in their biological processes. more bug facts with scully.

mulder says again that he hasn't given up hope that their environmentalist will return to come and get them, once again reiterating that he is deeply trusting and in many ways a sad puppy dog

in the day they make a break for it and they find the old logger guy having been eaten and left in a cocoon and ohh my skin was CRAWLLLLLING.

but the environmentalist comes back!! mulder's faith in humanity was well-placed!!! he tells them to get in the jeep NOW.

just when we think everything is in the clear the environmentalist hits one of the spikes he set to pop the logger's tires and NOOOO. THEY'RE IN THE DARK... NOOOOOOO THE BUGS ARE GETTING IN. NAURRRRR. I WAS SHOCKED. THE BUGS COCOON'ED THEM. IT WAS HORRIFIC.

but the people mulder had called for help with the fixed radio came and got them shortly after. they took their cocooned bodies and brought them to a quarantine. and somehow they had not yet had all their fluids drained.

we see mulder come out with an oxygen tank attached and horrific burns/rashes and i wrote "dude the bugs Fucked them up". scully and the forest agent are still out. he asks the doctor if scully will be okay; he says she's not out of the woods yet (poorly timed pun) and lost a ton of fluid. for once, she cannot do the doctoring.

(and this is where my heart shattered and dropped onto the cold floor) mulder says, "i told her it would be a nice trip to the forest"

oh, mulder, who is driven to the brink by the need to keep everyone around him Safe at all times, led them straight into this scenario. and now her unconscious body laying on that bed while the doctor does everything he can to try and get her back to life is going to haunt him forever, just like every other person he couldn't protect from the world.

the doctor says that the government WILL succeed in eradicating the bug species through controlled burns and pesticides. when mulder says what if that actually doesn't cut it, he says it'll have to. and thus ends the episode.

i was at the edge of my seat throughout this, and did not think it was going to get as dark as it did, but it certainly did! i feel like they will need a few weeks to recover but i've gotten use to this show just. putting them back in the office after a near death situation. so i doubt the long term bug trauma will be addressed here. however, i bet that it will make any future visits to the doctor by our three survivors very uncomfortable.

"any changes to your medical history?" "i was eaten by ancient bugs that drained my fluids and wrapped me in a cocoon so i'm not sure if that will have any long term effects" "...okay"