#come and be completely normal about this with me

[catboybiologist]

I see you talk a lot about hrt and you seem pretty informed. I also see that you have had really good effects from hrt.

So what I wonder is how much you think it is luck and genetics vs you making the right choices. I can't help but be jealous sometimes. I've had rotten luck and ok genetics it seems.

What's your take on this? Do you think you've been lucky or do you think everyone can do it like you have if they just did it the same way?

So whenever I answer an ask like this, I end up getting spammed with a ton of hrt related questions, and it gets a bit exhausting. So here's my usual disclaimer: I'm not a doctor, nor any kind of medical professional. I'm not an expert on this. I have a little more knowledge about the theory behind hrt than the average person, but not the medical practice. I'm just giving my experiences here.

So I couldn't say for sure, but I think the answer is both? I can't say how much luck is a component, but that said, I think that there's a lot that helped me out just from the troubleshooting end.

This answer ended up being long, so here's a tl;dr:

Be liberal on your estrogen, conservative on your antiandrogen. Eat a lot, exercise a lot.

Huge ramble under the cut.

It's hard to say that I looked feminine pre HRT. I had (and still somewhat have) all of the "ultra masculine" skeletal features that make people think their transition is going to go poorly, but the soft tissue changes have reframed how they look and function. I used to think that I would never come close to looking feminine without super intense FFS, and that feeling is almost completely gone now. So I didn't feel particularly lucky going into any of this. Now I do, and I'm finally actually relaxing how good hrt has been to me.

I did several things that I think accelerated my hrt. Unfortunately, I can't have a control group here. I also operated over a short period of time, during a period where hrt has a variety of effects. I have no way to tell for sure if these things did anything, or if it's all just masked by standard hrt progress, which comes and goes in bursts.

Also note: I don't think anything has dramatically affected my "final" results. I think there's a lot of things that have accelerated my results. But with ongoing, years long processes like HRT, the biggest, key ingredient is PATIENCE. I keep seeing 2 years thrown around like it's the end of hrt progress. This is, quite frankly, ridiculous. 2 years is startup and troubleshooting time. Whatever development happens in the first two years is a bonus, not a normal timeline.

So never, ever feel like you've fucked up your transition for good. You can always tweak it. And, you can always wait.

That all said, here's the bulleted list of the things that I think contributed:

Intensely focusing on getting my blood estrogen high. Stop thinking about dosages, start thinking about levels. From anecdotes I've seen, most doctors will underdose your estradiol. You should be shooting for 200pg/mL minimum. Many doctors will use this as a maximum. That is outdated information. Your estrogen should be on the high side of cis women ranges. If you're lost, use cis women metrics as a guide, or the WPATH. Personally, I've been blessed with a fantastic provider that I've never had to push back to or argue with, but I've heard some nasty horror stories.

Note that achieving the level I said above is often difficult with pills. Pills do have a maximum safe dosage because of liver metabolism. This will vary from person to person. But if you're getting past 8mg oral per day, consider switching to injections, patches, or gels. These methods bypass digestion and (somewhat) dodge the liver, making it easier to safely get higher blood levels. Even if you try to take them sublingually, a lot still ends up consumed orally.

HRT methods that allow for large differences between estrogen highs and lows seem to be more effective than steady state HRT. This is completely shooting in the dark here, but from my vague anecdotes from comparing injections with peaks and troughs to more steady (but still lover bypassing) methods, it still seems like injections are somewhat more effective. That is not a scientific assessment at all. But that's the only explanation I could think of that matches a little bit of what's known about hormonal physiology

With everything above: if possible, drop your antiandrogen ASAP. A pattern I've seen over, and over, and over again, is trans women being overdosed on antiandrogens while simultaneously being underdosed on estradiol itself. Remember: sufficiently high levels of blood estrogen are antiandrogenic on their own. If you need a AA to keep your T or other androgens low, your E is likely too low anyways. There's multiple reasons why having too much androgen suppression without raising estradiol is bad, but for a whirlwind summary, there's two things I would break it down to. One, having too low of both T and E is really bad, and is basically one of the only ways you can do HRT "wrong" in a way that's medically harmful (the other being stressing your liver). It has effects both short term (mood, metabolism, and energy) and long term (bone density and general growth). Also keep in mind that cis women have androgens too- and you need to make sure you're not over suppressing androgens to below cis female levels. Two, antiandrogens are rarely just an antiandrogen. As opposed to hormones themselves, which are found in your body anyways and are "understood" signals for your genes (among other things), antiandrogens are operating based on how we develop their effects as pharmaceuticals. Does this mean they're intrinsically bad? No. Don't fall into a "natural is better" fallacy. However, it's worth noting that AAs can have effects beyond just androgen suppression because they're not an endogenous signalling molecule. One of these effects might be overall suppression of growth and development. That is wildly unconfirmed, I know transfemmescience disagrees and has a pretty thorough breakdown, but unfortunately there's too much variability in individual trans women's HRT regimens to have consistent studies on fine details like that imo. Again, this is my opinion as a patient, not as an expert.

Don't start progesterone too early. I'd say delay it more than the general advice. 6 months after good blood levels is probably good. Notably, it's probably not a good idea to start it 6 months after the first pill crosses your tongue. Wait for the levels. Probably not that big of a deal though.

This last one I'm incredibly reluctant to even talk about, but I've been coming to the conclusion more and more that it was a fairly major factor in my progress. I didn't do it intentionally but it 100% happened. And that is weight cycling. From January to August of 2024, I dropped almost 30 pounds from training for backpacking and actually doing rigorous backpacking for 3 months. I've gained back all of that weight since. Most of my notable soft tissue and appearance changes have happened as a function of putting that weight back on. This isn't just about chest or thigh growth. My face was thin at my lowest weight, and when I put weight back on, soft tissue in my face has grown back in with a far more feminine look. I do NOT like talking about this, though. Why? Because I think deliberately weight cycling is more dangerous and hurtful than it is helpful. Diet culture, counting calories, and constantly comparing your weight and progress to others is an easy way to an easier disorder. If you develop habits centered around those things, that will fuck up your life permanently. What would I recommend instead? High input, high output. Eat a LOT, exercise a LOT. Get into a steady state with that. It's much healthier long term. Remember, at best, weight cycling is an acceleration, not working towards better "permanent" results.

And uh, I think that's it? Again, keep in mind that the main ingredient is patience. All of this is about making things faster, not making things better in the long run. If any of this seems unattainable for you, then don't worry! All you gotta do is wait.

And again, not medical advice, not scientific rigor, just anecdotes and what worked for me.

I don't have a better way to end this other than good luck? And also that you're probably being too hard on yourself anyways.

[wosospacegirl]

Enjoy your treat - Alexia Putellas

Summary: Something about Alexia being a provider makes my legs weak.

a/n: Not really a fic-fic--more like a soft rant because I needed a break from studying virology (send help). It’s messy, unpolished, but full of love for the idea of Alexia casually spoiling you <3

..

Alexia isn’t loud about the fact that she makes bank.

She’s quiet about it, almost casual–like the way she slips a shopping bag onto the table without a word. You’ll be doing something totally normal, studying on the sofa, reading, journaling, and she just… walks by. 

Drops it. Kisses the top of your head.

And then leaves.

No announcement. No explanation.

The first time it happened, you stared at the sleek black bag like it was going to explode.

“Alexia Putellas,” you called, squinting suspiciously. “What is this?”

She appeared in the doorway, hair damp from a shower, brow raised like you’re like she is oh so innocent. 

“You said your sneakers were getting uncomfortable.”

You looked inside.

They weren’t just new sneakers. 

They were handcrafted, limited-edition, in the exact colour you said you liked to wear.

A colour you mentioned once. Half-asleep. Two weeks ago. Sage green.

Alexia shrugged again like it was nothing. It’s never nothing.

She listens. Stores it all somewhere behind that pretty face of hers, waiting for the right moment to use it against you, with love, of course. She just goes around buying stuff and hides them away until she’s ready to give them to you.

It starts to become a thing.

The surprise bags. The quiet kisses. 

The no-comment luxury dropped into your everyday like it doesn’t mean anything.

Until one day, you snap.

You’re tired, high-strung from back-to-back classes, your laptop balanced on your knees and flashcards falling everywhere, when she sets another box down in front of you.

You don’t even look up.

“Alexia,” you say, voice tight. “You don’t have to keep buying me things.”

She doesn’t respond right away. Just watches you with that maddening calm of hers, hands in her pockets like she’s done nothing but breathe.

“I have a job, Ale”, you say, sharper this time. “A real one. That pays me, I can buy my own stuff.”

Did you work part-time on an internship that paid you half a living wage? Yes. Could you really buy your own stuff? No. But you didn’t want Alexia to actually know that.

Alexia tilts her head slightly, then speaks, very softly, completely unfazed.

“I know,” she says. “You work because you want to. Not because you need to.”

She leans down, kisses your cheek, and walks out of the room.

You look at the box.

It’s a watch. Sleek, elegant, and, when you look up the model later, worth more than your rent.

 Which you haven’t paid in six months. Because Alexia bought you the flat.

Yes. She bought a whole flat once she learned about the whole rent situation

You tried to argue about that, too. You lost.

Alexia’s love language is acts of service. Providing. Protecting.

If you are getting sick, she’s already called your doctor, moved your meetings, tucked you into bed, and, somehow, gotten your mom on FaceTime even though you definitely didn’t give her that number??

Your period starts? She’s already next to you with painkillers, the most expensive chocolate on the market, and her big warm hands pressed gently to your lower stomach. Like she could draw the pain out of you if she just loved hard enough.

You’re cold? She doesn’t say “go get a hoodie.”

She leaves and comes back with the hoodie—the one you pointed at online and didn’t buy because you were trying to be smart, trying to be careful.

You let her dress you in silence.

And she never, ever asks for anything in return.

You tried to talk her out of it. The gifts. The money.

You argued. You begged. Damn you even cried once.

And so she stopped, kind of.

Instead of new things appearing every day, you started getting silent deposits into your account. Small at first. Then not-so-small.

You didn’t ask for them. You didn’t use them.

You lasted two months. You didn’t use Alexia’s money for two whole months.

“Teimona,” she muttered every time she checked your untouched balance. “Dios mío, you’re so stubborn.”

But then it happened. 

The coffee shop happened. :) 

It was sunny. Warm enough for a jacket but not quite coat weather. You were both in sunglasses, fingers laced, laughing about something dumb when you stepped into the café.

You ordered (Alexia was the one who talked to the man on the counter actually)

Then you sat down and waited.

Alexia reached for her bag, then froze.

“Shit,” she muttered, eyes wide. “I forgot my wallet.”

You blinked. “Oh?”

“I’m going back to get it, I’ll be quick.” She said, already getting up.

“No,” you said, stopping her with a hand on her arm. “Stay.”

She frowned.

And you smiled.

A slow, smug thing.

You reached into your bag. Opened your wallet like it was a grand reveal. 

Slowly. Deliberately.

Alexia narrowed her eyes like she knew she was being played but couldn’t stop it.

“Don’t worry, amor,” you said, too sweet. “It’s on me. Enjoy your treat.”

Her coffee suddenly didn’t taste quite right.

You watched her sip it anyway, expression murderous.

You sat back in your chair, victorious.

And yes, you used her deposit to pay for it. And no, you did not feel bad. 

At least this time.

[katharkness]

I have a couple of health conditions. Please note that I am British and thus the default is NHS treatment.

One is chronic migraine. I ended up going private to avoid the long waits when they started severely impacting quality of life and ability to work, because I had some coverage from my employer. I saw a consultant, had an MRI of my pituitary, and went back for the results of the scan. The scan showed a normal pituitary; so normal my doctor asked if he could keep it as a “textbook” example. But he also kept going with my treatment and we’ve found a combination of therapies that mostly works. I’m a lot, lot better now.

Another is polycystic ovary syndrome - that is, a certain condition affecting my (female) reproductive system. I first suspected I might have it in 2014 when I got a period tracking app and found my periods were fluctuating quite a bit, sometimes with fifty or sixty days between periods. So I went to my GP. If you’re unaware, PCOS also comes with hormonal irregularities, some of which have physical symptoms (oily skin leading to acne, hirsutism in the form of more masculine body and facial hair, different distribution of fat deposits adding to weight gain), but the cysts on the ovaries come and go. When I presented in 2014, I had the irregular periods, I had hormone imbalances and at least some of the physical signs, but when they did an ultrasound they couldn’t find a cyst, so I was told it must just be stress and obesity and was dismissed. Then in 2020, which was a rather stressful year for everyone, I went five months without a period. I went back to the GP. Again there was the rigmarole of bloods and noting symptoms, and at one point a doctor actually looked at me and decided to check my liver which lead to a diagnosis of non-alcoholic fatty liver disease and a “prescription” of lifestyle changes, and this time they found a cyst. I was also making enquiries about starting a progesterone-only birth control to kinda stabilise the hormone cycling for mental health reasons, but the GPs were hemming and hawing over whether it would be safe with my migraine meds - the neurologists were fairly sure it would be fine, but recommended I get a second opinion from the gynaecologist. So, given the cyst was found, I was referred to a gynaecologist. He told me that they don’t actually need to find a cyst for a diagnosis, because of the aforementioned coming-and-going. Which means I could have been diagnosed in 2014, not 2022 (yes, it took about a year and a half). He said I should be fine for the birth control and wrote me the prescription and said I’d be called back for another scan to check on the cyst in a few months, but other than that, the only thing they could offer is assistance if/when I want to become pregnant. The birth control completely stopped my periods, which is just fine for me, and I did have another ultrasound some months later. I was called back for another gynaecologist appointment - different doctor. She said that the cyst had resolved itself, so I shouldn’t even have been called in for another appointment. She mentioned it was a good thing I was on that birth control, as without it the womb lining could build up and possibly turn cancerous (at no point did the other gynaecologist I asked about the birth control mention that). She said that they didn’t need to see me again unless a cyst grew to a massive size or I got ovarian torsion (twisted ovary), either of which could be identified by agonising pain. I pointed out that I’m still suffering symptoms of the hormonal imbalance, and what she said boiled down to, about ten percent of women have PCOS and you can’t expect us to treat all of them. So I have a chronic condition that does affect my life, and unless I end up in agonising pain, they don’t give a damn. By the way, there was a med student in the room that time.

I trust my neurologist. I don’t trust the gynaecologists.

Unusual but sympathetic paper:

Language Matters: What Not to Say to Patients with Long COVID, Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, and Other Complex Chronic Disorders

https://www.mdpi.com/1660-4601/22/2/275

[kpop---scenarios]

Change Me, Baby

Pairing: Vampire! Chan x Reader

Summary: Chan's been watching you for months. You've been watching him for weeks. When you finally catch him watching you sleep, you get what you've been yearning for, and maybe more.

Warning: Smut [ oral f. receiving, unprotected sex, creampie etc] 18+ ONLY. MDNI

Word Count: 1.3k

A/N: Big thanks to @unholywriters for this idea!! If you want to commission your own story (especially cause it's my birthday in 6 days, or donate) you can do that HERE. Anything and everything is always SO appreciated!

Everything Taglist: @wife2straykidss @piscesrising01 @baby-stay92 @kisses-too-the-moon @dwaekkiiracha @silly250 @rylea08 @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @satosugu4l @gabriellamarie @tsunderelino @iovecb97 @1810cl @lordmaahes-nsc @sailorkoss @minh0scat @pixie0627 @50-husbands @jinnies-muse @yaorzu-blog @anskiiz @joyofbebbanburg @number1jeonginstan @skzooluvr @jisunglyricist @ambersnowxxx @ayyonoona @31maze13 @stay-tiny-things @thegingerthatwaited @hoesheez @stayatinykatsy @catlove83 @jeonginstulip @kaleigh-2002 @honeycombbaybee @hyuneyeon @flylis @kpop-choco @chloe-elise-2000 @eastjonowhere @stephanieeeyang @nightmarenyxx @0325tiny @m1nn1everse @igot7bulletproofmonstas @imeverycliche @cathyxhaddy @hodgepodge-musings

“You're finally back.” You whisper, rolling over in bed. You had been pretending to sleep, waiting and hoping the man who had been following you for weeks would show up again. It had been almost a week since he had last sat in the chair across from your bed, watching you sleep. So every night, you lay awake but pretending to sleep to see if he would show up, but he never did. You had almost given up hope until you heard the faint sound of the window in your living room slowly slide up. You left it unlocked on purpose, knowing it was his favorite way to come into your apartment, even though you lived on the seventh floor.

You knew he wasn't human. You knew he was something else. His pale skin wasn't normal, th3 strength he used to climb your buildings fire escape wasn't normal. You had seen him one night, effortlessly climbing. His eyes weren't normal, they weren't human. There was nothing human about him, maybe except for the fact that he only wanted you.

“I'm back.” He says in a low whisper.

“Why were you gone so long?” You ask, sitting up in your bed, turning your head to look at him. “I've been waiting for you.” You whisper.

“I know. That's why I couldn't come back. I'm not supposed to be here.” He says.

“Why?”

“Humans are forbidden.” He answers.

“Forbidden for what?” You ask. “Is that why you've been following me?” You wonder.

“I just needed to see you.” He says. “But I'm not allowed to.”

“I know what you are. You've been watching me for months, Chan. But I've been watching you too.” You admit.

“I know you’ve been watching me, Y/N.” He chuckles. “I should go.” He murmurs, standing up from the chair.

“I don't want you to go.” You say, standing up. You stand in front of him, your hand on his hard, muscular chest. “Stay.”

“I can't. I shouldn't have come.” He says, trying to move past you but you don't let him.

“Don't you want me?” You ask, trailing a finger down his chest and to his stomach. “Because I want you so fucking bad.”

“Fuck, i do.” He whispers. You move your hand up to his shoulder, pushing him down. He drops down to his knees, staring up at you. You smile down at him, lifting your leg, resting it on the chair. You pull up your nightgown, exposing your already wet pussy. Chan licks his lips as he leans forward, his eyes still on you. He hesitates for a second before he moves in, wrapping his lips around your clit. Your body jerks at the feeling of his lips on you. It doesn't take him long to get fully into it, sucking and licking you completely. His large but cold hands grip your thighs as he continues devouring you. You moan loudly, gasping as your orgasm builds quickly. Your hand grabs his hair, holding on tightly as you grind your cunt on his face.

“Oh god, Chan. Fuck… fuck.” You cry out, grinding faster as his tongue and lips work their magic. “Fuck, I'm gonna cum.” You cry, practically ripping his hair out of his scalp as you cum, all over Chan's face, gasping for air while you work through your high.

You bring your leg down, almost stumbling back. Chan catches you in a split second, smiling as he licks your juices off his lips. “You're going to get me into trouble.” He murmurs, tossing you on the bed.

“Hands and knees.” He demands. You don't say anything, except move into position. Chan lifts your dress up over your ass as you spread your legs even more. “Good girl.” He mutters. You can hear him unzip his pants from behind you. Your mouth was practically drooling, imagining the feeling of his cock stretching you out. Your cunt clenches as you impatiently wait for him, you were dripping with cum and desperately needed him to fuck you, right now.

“A little needy, are we?” He asks, stepping towards you.

“Very.” You gasp. “Please fuck me.”

“I'll have to be gentle with you.” He says.

“Sometimes I forget my own strength.”

“Don't be gentle with me.” You whimper. “I want you to destroy me.”

You can hear Chan chuckle behind you. “Your wish is my command.” He says. You can feel him pushing his tip into your hole, and you already wanted to cum again. Chan slowly slides his cock into your cunt, stretching you out in ways you had never had before. Your hands grip the bed sheets as he continues to push into you.

“Holy fuck.” You gasp, your arms giving out on you. You lay with your ass up, face being pushed into the mattress as Chan pulls out, before forcing himself back into you. You cry out loudly, the only sounds you can hear are Chan grunting as he rams himself into you, and you moaning and crying out in nothing but pure bliss as he destroys your pussy.

“You like that?” He asks, landing a hard slap on your ass.

“Y-yes.” You cry. “Shit.”

Chan moves one of his hands between your legs. It feels like ice on your clit as he rubs you, wanting to make you cum again. Your breathing gets heavier as your eyes roll back, your orgasm approaching at a record time. “Please, please…. fuck…. Please.” You scream.

“Cum all over my fucking cock.” He grunts, leaning forward to grab your hair this time. You yelp as he pulls your head back, having you lean against him. He moves his hand from your clit, Pulling your nightgown over your head, discarding it somewhere behind him. He continues thrusting into you while he reaches around, grabbing your tits. He pinches and pulls at your nipples while you move your hand down between your lips, rubbing yourself while he fucks you. He kisses your neck while slowly pushing his cock into you over and over again.

Your orgasm is building quickly, again. You moan out, mumbling some words about cumming.

“What do you need, baby?” He whispers into your ear.

“I need you to fuck me harder.” You gasp. Chan doesn't reply, instead forcefully pushes you back down onto the bed. His hands grip your hips, ramming his cock into you. You knew he was holding back because he was inhuman strength but even this was fucking wrecking you and you loved it.

“Just like that.” You cry, rubbing your clit harder and faster. Seconds later, your orgasm hits you, jolting pleasure through your whole weak body. Chan digs his fingers into your hips as he chases his own high.

“So tight.” He grunts. “Fuck.” He moans. You throw his head back as his own orgasm hits. He grunts loudly as he cums, spilling his cum into you. You clench your cunt around him, making his orgasm even better.

“Jesus christ.” He sighs, pulling his cock out of you. He moves to sit down on the chair, smiling widely as you collapse on the bed, trying to catch your breath.

“That's about right.” You murmur.

You can hear him standing up, getting dressed. You sit up on your bed, watching him getting ready to leave.

“Don't go.” You say. He gives you a sympathetic smile.

“I can't stay. I'm already going to get shit for being gone so long. And now fucking a human, that's going to be worse. Nothing more can happen while you're human.”

You struggle to get off your bed, scooting to the edge to stand in front of him. You look up at him and smile widely.

“Then change me.” You say.

“I can't… that's not an option.” He murmurs.

“Why?” You ask.

“I want you. I want to be with you. Don't you want that too?”

“More than you know.” He murmurs.

“Then do it.”

“Are you sure?” He asks.

“I'm sure.” You whisper. Chan leans in close to you, putting his ear near your lips.

“Say it one more time and I'll do it right now.” He whispers. You hold him closely, smiling as you whisper into his ear.

“Change me, baby.”

[ladyfocalors]

4 Easy Ways to Fluster Riddle (and 1 Time He Left You Speechless)

summary: 4 times you flustered Riddle and 1 time he got you back.

pairing: riddle rosehearts x gn!reader

warnings: none.

word count: 2.4k

don't know what possessed me to write this. i am in my stupidly sweet soft fluff cheesy romantic era. maybe this is me trying to compensate for reading too many angst fics on ao3.

i. You compliment him in front of everyone.

Unbirthday parties were not unusual for you. Spending almost all your time with Ace and Deuce meant you had an open invitation at all times, and today was no different.

Everything was proper as it could be until Grim sneezed directly into a teacup, causing a minor commotion.

"Ugh, Grim," you groaned, reaching for a napkin.

"Myah! Not my fault somethin' went up my nose!" Grim shot back, waving his tiny paws in indignation.

Ace snickered from next to you. "Real nice, furball. I think Cater got that on camera."

"You wanna say that again, tomato head?" Grim growled, but you held him back.

"Tomato head?" Ace only grinned wider. "What, did you run out of good insults?"

"Can we not start a fight at an unbirthday party?" Deuce said, eyeing Riddle from the corner of his eye.

"What? I’m behaving." Ace said.

Across the table, Riddle cleared his throat. "If you’re quite finished with your antics, I’d like to remind you that proper decorum should be maintained at the table. That includes not flinging insults across it." His eyes flickered briefly toward Grim, who had, thankfully, stopped snarling at Ace.

For a moment everything went back to normal again but Ace decided to stir up trouble.

"So," he started, leaning back in his chair with an easy grin, "I’ve been thinking–"

"Oh, since when did you start to think?" you teased, snickering into the palm of your hand.

Ace ignored your jab, looking around at the others. "Since we’re all here, why don’t we ask some questions?"

Everyone gave him a look.

"Oh, relax. It’s not like I’m gonna break a rule. But I do have a good question. One that everyone has to answer."

The curiosity around the table piqued, conversations pausing. Riddle set his teacup down, looking unamused but willing to hear Ace out. "As long as it’s appropriate."

"Totally," Ace said, all in false innocence, before he grinned. "So. Who’s the best-looking person in Heartslabyul?"

"Myah, obviously me!" Grim chimed in immediately.

"What–" You shook your head. "Grim, you don’t even count! You're a Ramshackle student!"

"Why not? I live in Heartslabyul whenever we visit!"

"That’s not how this works!"

"That’s totally how it works!"

"Okay, okay, real answers now," Ace turned to Deuce. "Deuce?"

Deuce sighed. "I don’t really think about that stuff, but I guess Trey?"

"You just respect him," Ace said.

"That’s part of it, yeah."

Riddle shook his head. "This is a completely frivolous discussion."

Ace grinned. "Aw, come on, Housewarden. What’s the harm?" Then his gaze flickered to you. "And what about you, Prefect? Who’s the best looking in Heartslabyul?"

Now you were the one on the spot.

"Why are you even asking me?" you asked.

"Answer it, Prefect." Ace pressed, his grin widening. "Unless you have something to hide."

You sighed and glanced around, scanning the table. Grim was not an option to begin with. Cater was handsome in the totally Magicam-worthy way as he put it, but so was Trey in that grandmothers-would-also-compliment-him way. Ace had a certain charm if you completely ignored all the stuff that came out his mouth, and Deuce looked endearing, sweet boy and had that ex-delinquent appeal going on if you ignored that he was hot headed and a little dumb.

Your gaze landed on Riddle again. His brows were furrowed, his lips pressed together as if bracing for whatever nonsense was coming next.

You mentally grimaced before saying, "I think it’s Riddle."

A silence fell over the table. Everyone paused.

"What?!" Ace asked loudly, unable to hide his surprise.

"Why?" Deuce added.

You leaned on your palm, tilting your head. "Riddle takes care of himself better than most people I know. He’s always neat, prim, and... uh, proper—that’s the word! Even when things get out of hand, he still manages to look... well, proper. And it’s not just the way he looks, he also carries himself with that same energy!"

Another beat of silence stretched across the table.

Riddle’s face was red. "Thank you, Prefect," he stammered, straightening in his seat. "But this is hardly an appropriate topic for an Unbirthday Party."

Cater let out a low whistle at that.

"Didn’t think you had it in you, Prefect," Ace teased, nudging you. "I was expecting something basic, but that was some real high-class flattery."

"It’s the truth."

Riddle cleared his throat sharply. "This conversation is over."

"But not before we get your answer!" Ace pointed out. "C’mon, Housewarden, who’s your pick?"

Riddle sent him a glare. "Be quiet, or it's off with your head, Trappola."

"Man, I was just trying to start some drama."

"Keep your mouth shut for once, Ace." you said, kicking him from under the table.

The conversation then moved on, but the warmth on Riddle’s face did not.

ii. You fall asleep on his shoulder.

Your head drooped slightly as you struggled to focus on the words before you and the words being told to you. The long day of classes, paired with Grim’s endless energy and the usual bouts of trouble Ace and Deuce dragged you in, had drained you completely. You had started this study session with the best of intentions, but the combination of warmth, silence, and exhaustion made your eyelids unbearably heavy.

Riddle was in the middle of explaining something when your head tipped forward, only for you to jerk upright again.

Riddle paused mid-sentence, watching as you blinked sluggishly, clearly losing your battle against sleep. "Prefect," he said, his voice demanding your immediate attention. "Are you even listening?"

"Mmh." You gave a half-hearted nod, though it was obvious you hadn’t processed a word. "Something about… cans of tuna?"

Riddle sighed. "I said nothing about tuna. I was explaining–" He stopped himself, watching as you blinked even slower than before. "Perhaps we should take a break."

You made a small sound, too tired to speak. You just needed to rest your eyes for one second, and you'll go back to studying. Just a second and you'd be up again…

Then, before Riddle could say anything else, you slumped sideways, head landing directly on his shoulder.

Riddle went completely rigid.

His grip on his pen tightened. His mind stuttered, words vanishing from his tongue. His first instinct was to tell you off—straighten up, maintain proper posture, do not fall asleep on someone at a study table—but when he glanced down at you, mouth halfway open to scold, he hesitated.

Your breathing was slow. The tension in your shoulders had eased, and without the usual spark of mischief, exasperation or exhaustion in your expression, you looked very peaceful.

Riddle swallowed hard.

This was improper and very undignified. If anyone saw him, it would be terrible.

Now, what was he supposed to do?

Despite various thoughts,he did not move.

Slowly and carefully, he turned his head forward again, his face burning. His hands fidgeted with the edges of his book, but his previous train of thought had been completely derailed.

Your weight against his shoulder was surprisingly light, warmth seeping through the fabric of his uniform. It wasn’t unpleasant. If anything, it was… comforting, if he could call it that?

Nobody had slept on him before.

Minutes had passed. Maybe more. He was too flustered to keep track. Finally, when he was certain his face couldn’t get any redder, he cleared his throat.

"Prefect," he said, quieter this time. "You should wake up."

You mumbled something incomprehensible, shifting slightly but not moving away.

Riddle exhaled sharply. Gathering every ounce of dignity he had left, he straightened his back further and gently nudged you.

"Wake up," he repeated, firmer now.

You groaned softly before blinking up at him, drowsy and disoriented. "Mm… what happened? What did I miss? Oh, Riddle."

"You fell asleep," Riddle said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Your eyes widened slightly as you realized where your head had been. "Oh… oh! Sorry, I didn’t mean to–" You sat up quickly, rubbing your eyes with the back of your hand. "I was just… really tired."

Riddle turned his gaze away, attempting to school his expression into something neutral. "It is fine," he said, though the stiffness in his voice betrayed him. "But next time, do try to stay awake."

"Yeah, I am sorry," you gave him a sheepish smile. "I know you took the time out of your busy schedule just to teach me. It won't happen again, I promise."

"It’s…" He exhaled. "It’s fine. You should take better care of yourself, Prefect. If you’re this exhausted, perhaps you should reconsider how you manage your time."

"You are right…" you trailed off. "I am really sorry, though. I will try to get more sleep."

Riddle hummed, shutting his book close. "That’s enough studying for today. We’ll continue another time when you’re actually capable of retaining information."

"Oh, of course. Thank you," you smiled, picking up your items.

Riddle let out a sigh when you finally walked away.

It took a long time before his heart settled back into its usual rhythm.

iii. You link your arms with him.

Riddle was not particularly fond of crowds. More specifically, he was not fond of being jostled, or people with no regard for personal space, or the chaos that came with large gatherings.

It was the reason why he hesitated when you had invited him to join you on an outing to the town near Night Raven College. At first, he had been inclined to decline but after some insistence (you just asked him politely, twice), he agreed.

And here he was. He found himself almost colliding with someone more than once.

Then, you suddenly looped your hand around his arm and pulled him closer to you.

"Prefect! What do you think you’re doing?" he asked.

You blinked at him, tilting your head. "What? I don’t want to lose you in the crowd. This way, we won’t get separated."

"There’s no need for such a thing–" He stopped himself when someone pushed past a little too roughly, nearly knocking into him. Instinctively, he leaned towards you.

"See?" you smiled. "It's practical."

Riddle’s face burned. Practical or not, this was not something he was used to.

With a sharp inhale, he turned his head forward, focusing on anything but you. "Very well," he muttered. "But do not pull me around like some child."

"Of course not!" you grinned.

Riddle exhaled slowly, willing the flush on his face to fade. He would simply have to endure this.

iv. You fix his hair for him.

Riddle always looked put together and proper (as you had mentioned in the unbirthday party). Never a wrinkle on his clothes, shoes always cleaned, no strand of hair out of place.

Which was why you immediately caught onto the tuft of red hair sticking out at an odd angle. You eyed his hair while he examined the display of desserts in the bakery. He was completely unaware of the imperfection.

"Hold still for a second," you said suddenly.

Riddle blinked, turning to you.

Before he could say anything, you reached out and smoothed down the strand, brushing your fingers gently through his hair to put it back into place.

His breath hitched, and every thought about pastries evaporated right out of his mind. The warmth of your fingertips barely lasted a second, but it left an undeniable trail of heat on his skin.

You pulled back, inspecting your handiwork with a satisfied smile. "There! All fixed."

"You–" He cleared his throat, forcing his voice to remain steady. "That was unnecessary."

You only shrugged. "It was bothering me."

"Bothering you?" Riddle repeated.

"Yeah. You always look so put-together, so seeing your hair out of place felt… different." You waved a hand vaguely. "And you always like to look presentable, especially in public."

Riddle turned his gaze away, unable to meet your eyes. "You shouldn’t be so casual with things like that," he muttered.

"Why not?" You tilted your head. "Friends help each other out, don’t they?"

He inhaled, calming down.

"I suppose," he finally conceded, clearing his throat. "We should continue. We have other shops to visit."

"Right," you said, eyeing the desserts, while Riddle found himself absentmindedly touching the spot where your fingers had been.

+1 He takes your hand and kisses it.

It had been a long but pleasant day. The trip to town had gone smoother than expected, despite the crowds and Riddle’s initial reservations. He had even managed to enjoy himself although it had more to do with you being there.

Now, as the sun dipped below the horizon, casting the sky in soft shades of pink and gold, you and Riddle stood in the hall of mirrors. The walk back had been peaceful, the quiet between you feeling natural rather than awkward.

"You were surprisingly tolerant today," you teased, nudging him lightly with your elbow. "I thought for sure you’d be upset at people for improper behavior."

"I am not as strict as you make me out to be." Riddle huffed.

You gave him a questioning look.

He sighed. "Fine. I just didn’t want to ruin the outing. You seemed to be enjoying yourself."

You blinked at him, caught off guard by the admission. Then, a slow smile spread across your face. "You’re sweeter than you let on."

Riddle stiffened slightly then exhaled sharply, shaking his head. "Honestly, Prefect, you have no restraint with your words."

You only grinned. "Agree to disagree."

He gave you an exasperated look before his gaze flickered down for a brief moment. Then, with a sudden movement, he reached out and gently took your hand in his.

You froze, curious about what he would do next.

Before you could react, Riddle lowered his head slightly, pressing a light kiss to the back of your hand.

Your face felt like it was on fire, and for the first time that evening, you were the one flustered. "Riddle?"

He straightened, a small smile on his lips as he released your hand. "Consider it a return for your… gestures today," he said smoothly, though the faint pink on his ears betrayed his composure.

You gawked at him, words completely failing you.

Riddle felt internally delighted at your reaction, clearly pleased with himself for getting you back. "Good day, Prefect," he said, turning towards the mirror to his dorm.

You stood there for a moment, before quickly mumbling a quick 'have a good day'.

Riddle Rosehearts had just turned the tables on you.

© ladyfocalors

[bitxhy-bookworm]

Sevika x Sensitive!Reader

Cw: slight anxiety attack, crying, hurt/comfort, swearing , established relationship

(also i didn’t proofread this- sorry)

It started out as one joke. Lighthearted and teasing, you even let out a geniune laugh. However one joke became two, until your whole friendgroup seems to be adding in their own version of the joke. Suddenly it didn’t feel like a tease, it felt like an attack. An attack on you, on the self esteem you work so hard to build. Next thing you know you’re not sitting at the last drop giggling with your friends, now you’re a kid again and everyone’s laughing at you for some joke you’ll never be apart of. You know this is crazy, it’s not half as big of a deal as you’re making it in your head but the sinking pit in your stomach and the pain in your throat make it feel like your fighting a war. And you are losing…terribly. Despite the feeling of all your insecurities attacking you at once, you keep an amused look on your face the whole night. It’s not everyone else’s fault you can’t handle a little joke, why ruin the mood cause you’re a crybaby?

You walk into you and Sevika’s shared apartment later that night, exhausted and ready to collapse. You kick your shoes off and allow your mind to relax or try to relax. Instead the only thing on repeat is that joke, was it a joke? Do they actually feel that way and tried to hide it with humour? You’ve never been great with expressions and social cues, maybe they all secretly hate you and this is their way of showing it? You feel hot tears begin to fall down your face and your chest starts to feel a little too tight. You hardly notice the sound of footsteps as you press your back against the door, trying to find anything to support you as your legs start to shake.

“Baby?…” a voice calls out, Sevika, her voice tired and groggy. God you probably woke her up with all this crying. “Oh love, what’s going on?” The sound of concern is evident in her voice, when you finally open your eyes to look at her all you can feel is guilt. She looks like she’s just woken up and here you are sobbing on the floor…the thought makes you cry harder. Why can’t you just pull it together already? You feel her arms wrap around you as she hushes you soothingly, “It’s alright, beautiful. I’m here, you’re safe.” She repeats this phrase along with a few more loving affirmations as she feels your body begin to relax and your breathes return to normal. She pulls away after a few more moments, giving you some space to collect your thoughts. You look at Sevika, then down at the floor slightly embarassed.

This isn’t the first time she’s seen you like this, living together has it’s ups and downs and you’ve both seen your fair share of breakdowns. Despite this, you can’t help but feel like you were doing too much. “Sorry about all that, I dont…i dont know where that came from..” You say, hoping that you can just brush past it fat chance.

Sevika looks completely unconvinced, “Sweetheart, that didn’t come out of nowhere.” She leaves no room for arguement, there is no malice or anger but no humour either. She says your name softly, gazing at you with a pleading look in her eyes. “Hun..you’ve been doing so much better lately, especially with talking these things out. We don’t need to talk about it right now but dont shut me out..please” goddamn it, that face, her voice..you never stood a chance. “Ok…but can I change first? I need to get out of these clothes” You say, breaking eye contact before her eyes make you do anything else.

You crawl into bed with sevika a few moments later, now in much more comfortable clothes. Sevika places her book down and turns her attention to you, at first you say nothing opting to curl into her arms instead. She smiles at how adorable you look, much more relaxed and those pesky tears tracks gone. You tell her everything, the joke and how it felt. The insecurity that followed and how it became too much too quickly. Her heart breaks when you look at her and ask if she feels the same way, “I won’t be mad if you do, i just..I feel stupid I guess. Like there’s this big joke everyone but me is in on…” you trail off as you feel her grip tighten, as if she could lose you to your own thoughts. “Baby look at me,” you do.

“None of that is true, not even close and none of your friends feel that way. I know you don’t want to kill the mood but you have to say something when you feel like this, I know they wouldn’t want you feeling this way either.” Her tone is firm but gentle, you know she’s right.

“I know, it’s just scary..I don’t want to make everyone stop having fun to cater to my fragile ass ego-“ “you are not fragile, not even close. But you are human, and humans feel and you feel especially deep. That’s nothing to be ashamed or embarassed of.” She takes her hand and places it on your chest “I love your heart, you’re so passionate and empathetic, so what if you cry a little harder or get worked up a little easier? That doesn’t make you fragile, it makes you extraordinary.” You feel tears well up in your eyes and you bury your face in the crook of her neck, “god Sev, quit sweet talking me or I’m gonna start crying again.” You say, giggling as she hugs you tightly one more time.

“Cry all you need baby, I’ve got you”

[kaysdelights]

when you're forced to marry an alien himbo | 🔞

words: 5004 fem reader x male main character w / au's: alien!au, himbo alien, arranged marriage, getting off in front of him summary: you're a brand new bride to a himbo virgin alien warrior that is obsessed with making you happy:) a/n: i told myself i wouldn't repost ALL of my shitty stories again for the millionth time while i figure out what i wanna do with my life BUT i desperately wanna get inspiration for this AU again because it was SO FUN TO WRITE! so im posting it again and also i need to tell myself i can do whatever i want to be happy D': okay love you <3 there is another part to this hehe also this has nothing to do with the other alien au i posted recently... i was just in a mood late last year writing about hot aliens lol

“You might want to have a seat when I tell you this, bestie.” You hear the impending doom in the tone of her voice coming in clearly through the speaker of your phone. “You’re an alien bride.” 

As if things couldn’t get any shittier for you. 

You got fired from your job because you were running late due to your car breaking down. You couldn’t afford to fix the part on your car because your bank account was overdraft due to your A/C breaking the week before. But it’s not like you could have even paid for the A/C when your boyfriend (now ex) broke up with you, drained your account for all he could, and took off with your sister to Vegas. Now you’re an alien bride thanks to the leaders of earth making a deal with the alien’s that they would protect all humans from the other invasive species of the universe if they send mate’s for the aliens in return. 

“Or, is it an alien's bride? Are you an alien bride if you’re human and you’re marrying the alien? Or, like, are you the alien’s bride because you’re the alien’s? You belong to the alien. The alien’s woman? Either way… that’s you, girl.”

The sound of your best friend rambling because she’s scared shitless for you barely snaps you out of your daze. 

“Is he rich, at least?” You sigh into the speaker. What’s one more weird and oddly specific thing that could go wrong? Just add it to the list. Alien, or maybe alien’s, bride? Check! “Because that would solve half my problems, Sera, and honestly when you’re only adding one problem back in, it evens out. Girl math.”

“Listen, you didn’t hear it from me-” But, you did. Sera works for the earth-intergalactic species representatives resources department. This is the only reason you’re finding out about this now. Normally people are just snatched up from their homes to go off and breed ginormous alien babies. Or, at the very least, marry an alien. You aren’t too sure on the specifics of what happens after that, but you have always been a little curious… “Your alien is a total hottie.” 

“What are you insinuating?” You gasp, part offended and part imagining how hot your alien husband-to-be actually is. “I just go up there and let this alien have his way with me to completely destroy me? I heard they’re not gentle! They’re mean and rough and ugly. So, really, how hot could he be?”

“You’ve never even seen one of them before!” She begins to whisper, as if someone is coming closer that could hear and potentially get her fired, or worse. “Look, you’re one overdraft fee away from homelessness. Don’t look at this as a bad thing. You’ve got no choice.”

You know she’s right. What other choice do you have? 

You’re beamed up to the alien spaceship that hovers earth the following morning. Literally. Beamed up in a blink of an eye. One minute you’re on earth, the next you’re surrounded by cold, steel walls in a circular room with two bags of your things and your cat, Jellybean. Jellybean hisses at thin air as he looks around, clinging to your shirt like it's his lifeline. His orange fur begins to fly when you try to soothe him, all before a sliding door opening to the right, and in walks the dreamiest, most charming, hunkiest man that ever hunked. 

Was this your alien husband-to-be? God, you hoped so. You were going to end it all if you haven’t even left earth yet, knowing this divine specimen exists and you couldn’t have a chance with him.

He clears his voice, a nervous smile on his lips, before he tells you his name. “I’m your husband.” 

Relief floods you. She was right. He is hot. Beyond hot. Your knees quiver as he steps closer, heart racing. As he walks into the yellow cast of the light overhead, you notice his brown, military style uniform, matching cap on his head, and black boots. Of course, all the aliens are trained soldiers well respected across galaxies for their skills in combat. It’s why earth so happily accepted their protection. They needed to remain safe, and the aliens needed mates. 

Jellybean hisses again to pull you away from the thoughts roaming. He looks down at the cat, then back to you. You expect him to be rude, mean even, maybe make an insulting comment, but he only smiles. 

“Would you like to see our living quarters? Let your friend get something to eat and drink while we settle in?”

“S-Sure.” Okay, you weren’t expecting that. Aren’t these aliens supposed to be mean? Horrid? Rough? Terrible? Ugly?! So far he was none of these things. He doesn’t even have a problem with Jellybean. Your ex hated Jellybean, but to be fair Jellybean hated him, too. 

God, speaking of, has it really been that long since you’ve been laid that you’re getting all hot and bothered over this alien just for being nice and not minding your cat? He leads you down corridors of metal until you’re suddenly thrust into a bustling living area full of other aliens and humans, lounges, TVs, little food carts with any option of burger, chicken wing, or pizza you could imagine. You name it, it was offered in those delicious smelling stands, though you wonder what kind of meat they used. Alien technologies are clearly far more advanced. Even their fauna was beautiful and ethereal looking, sparkling off the synthetic sun overhead while the koi fish in the ponds around them swam gracefully.

Though food and decor didn’t keep your attention for long. A couple you walk past looks as lovey-dovey in love as one could be. He’s much larger than her as she snuggles into his side while the two read the intergalactic news articles in the morning paper. She leans up and gives him a kiss on his cheek. As if she just couldn’t help herself, and you really can’t blame her either when you notice all of the aliens are pretty hot.

Not as hot as your alien, of course. There’s no alien like your husband. 

“Um, husband?” You shuffle your feet quickly to reach his side, grabbing onto his arm with the hand that isn’t holding Jellybean. 

“Yes, wife?” A shiver races down your spine at him calling you wife. God, were you really about to fall head over heels for an alien? The odds seemed likely. At this point, what did you have to lose? You only had everything to gain. Like a super hot, super attention and sweet alien husband who was no doubt packing downstairs. 

“Where exactly are we staying aboard this massive ship?” The alien spaceship was big enough to serve as a warning to the other space travelers to stay away, but also big enough to host every trained soldier from their home planet. 

“Just down here,” he says, leading you out of the living area down a more lively looking hallway with plants and pictures of army captains. Then he stops down another hallway in front of a door seconds before it slides to the right. “Right in here.” He carries your two bags through the threshold into the most normal looking foyer you have ever seen. Ahead are even a set of stairs made from hardwood floor. To the right, a kitchen. To the left, a living room. A house that jumped straight out of a magazine. You expected the alien spaceship to look like something from Star Trek, and part of it does, but some parts…

“This looks so…”

“Human?”

“Yes!” He chuckles at that, setting your things down while you let Jellybean  out of your arms to go sniff everything. “Why?”

“To make our mates more comfortable. To feel more like home.”

You can’t help your frown. “What if we don’t want it to feel that way?” Your voice is a whisper as you take in the surroundings. You’ve never lived anywhere this nice. It’s way too suburban, picket fence, three kids and a dog for you. 

“If the living arrangement is not to your standards, we can make changes.” There’s a frown on his face now. He actually looks disappointed you don’t seem happy. You definitely hate that look.

“It’s great! No worries!” You offer him the biggest smile you can muster, watching his grin return. “So, shall we get started?” you ask, beginning to take off your coat considering shoes were already left at the entrance. The coat falls to the floor before you begin unbuttoning your jeans.

“Wh-what are you doing?” He blinks a few times before turning his head from you. “If you needed to get changed, I could have stepped away.” He won’t look at you, so you stop fidgeting with your jeans. 

“Changed? No, I meant sex and alien babies.” He snaps his head at your words. “Isn’t that what I’m here for?”

“You’re here to be my wife.”

“Yeah… which means sex and then having alien babies. Right?” 

He looks confused. Now you feel heat rushing to your cheeks. You quickly pick your coat from the floor, covering yourself to not feel as exposed from your embarrassment. Not like it would help. He’s already eyed you up and down and back again at the mere mention of sex. 

“I’m… not sure.” He looks down, rubbing the back of his neck. “We were told marrying a human would give us strength, power. That what we receive from our mate would make us nearly invincible.”

Your jaw hangs open. “Excuse me?” You blink, taking a step toward him. “What the fuck are you saying?”

He gulps, not bothering to meet your eyes due to him cowering like you’re a foot taller than him. To be fair, you do have an intimidating gaze when things start to get complicated.

“Being with a human means being powerful,” he repeats, though it doesn’t make an ounce more sense. “We were told our humans would teach us what we needed to know to be successful lovers.”

You choke on your own spit from the words, coughing. “So being a good lover makes you more powerful?” You shake your head. “Being with me… being a good lover… makes you more powerful?” You’re squinting at him, no longer frustrated, but curious if he’s saying what you think he’s saying. If so, you have one hot himbo virgin on your hands and he’s in dire need of a sex lesson from you. 

“Yes, that’s it.” He nods, finally looking you in the eyes. 

“Well, you know what? My life sucks so what the hell? Whatever it is, alien husband, I’m going to make you more powerful! And you know what else? My life could still suck but at least I don’t have to go to work anymore and have Creepy Andy stare at my tits all day.” 

He frowns, anger spreading in his features. The shift in his demeanor is so sudden, it catches you off guard. “Is this Creepy Andy a problem?”

Oh… you like that. This alien is awakening something in you that makes you… horny? Scared? Maybe both. He’s big, and dangerous, and from another planet and it kind of turns you on he is willing to do, well whatever he would do to Creepy Andy if you said yes. No human man has ever made you feel this way. This stirring of excitement and adrenaline mixed with fear of the unknown washing over you as he looks at you like he would eat you up and worship you. Of course, what’s his has been threatened. From his tone, his posture, his words, you realize he’s a territorial man. So your hot himbo virgin alien is the jealous, protective type. Somehow you find him even more attractive.

“Not anymore,” you tell him, sighing, pouting, earning a little more of his attention which you realize you actually adore in the moment. He steps closer, placing hands on your arms. “I mean, it got pretty bad there for a while. He was always trying to flirt, and make weird comments about me, and just be creepy, you know?”

Okay, you didn’t have to go into detail, but to watch your new alien husband get worked up over another man’s comments about your body does something to your confidence. This alien has claimed you for his keeping, and it’s clear no one else should dare to even look at you or this alien super soldier will not be so nice.

“Where can one find this Creepy Andy?”

His question has you bursting into giggles. “Don’t worry about it.” You reach to pat him on the chest, feeling the hard muscle underneath. “It’s not something I have to worry about anymore.” 

You pull away to go get Jellybean settled in while he takes your things upstairs. After a while of soothing Jellybean and coaxing him out of his hiding place under one of the lounges in the living room so he would eat something, your husband comes downstairs to offer you a cooked meal.

“You cook?”

“Sometimes.” His sheepish grin has butterflies swarming your stomach. How can he be so hot, and intimidating, yet cute? You follow him into the kitchen with the standard fridge and oven, with a sink and dishwasher close by. Looks just like something you would see on earth, if it weren’t for the unique gadgets and interesting trinkets here and there. You assume they are alien created, and you’re curious how they work.

You guess a lesson on alien tools will have to be another day as he gets to work creating you a meal that smells delicious. He tells you it’s some sort of delicacy where he’s from, but you don’t question it. You haven’t eaten all day, too nervous about meeting him. So you take a bite, and to your surprise, it’s not half bad. There’s a few flavors you recognize in the dish, what look to be like noodles, and some kind of meat. You don’t ask the questions you normally would. You don’t want to spoil it if this is what you have to live with. 

“Would you like to join me while I wash up?” he asks while taking the plates away to place them in the dishwasher. A man who cooks and cleans up? You’ve died and gone to heaven. 

“Wash up? As in… shower?”

“Shower, bathe, whatever you wish to do.”

It’s hard to turn him down when he’s being so generous. “S-Sure.” Though, you are a little nervous. It’s been so long since you’ve even seen anyone in their underwear. Better to go ahead and get the awkwardness out of the way. This is your husband, after all. 

“I would love a bath. My muscles feel so tense from being nervous and I think I sweated so much from the anticipation of meeting you I would really like to wash up.”

He’s smiling at your rambling. Okay, you’re a lot nervous. Not that you don’t have confidence around men. You do and you enjoy taking charge and demanding what you want, but this is no ordinary man. This man is gorgeous, understanding, sweet, and kind. From out of this world. This man could have been written by a woman, maybe mother nature herself, and that’s what is making you so nervous. Why does he seem so perfect? You were so convinced the aliens were mean, and rough, and ugly, but he’s shown you the opposite. 

“Come with me,” is all he says before you’re following him up the stairs, down the hall into a room that looks more alien than human. The door slides to the ride to reveal marble steps leading to a dais filled with water. The platform sits low as a soft hum emits from the inviting bathing pool, lights glowing all around in alien markings you can’t decipher. 

“This is simply gorgeous,” you sigh, taking in the purple and blue fauna all around the room. Steam rolls off the water, shimmering beneath the glowing markings. 

“I’m happy it pleases you, I spent a while setting it up for you,” your big alien husband says, his tone giving him away that he could be blushing. “This is where I can bathe you every night while worshipping your body in any way you see fit. It is one of the more intimate ways we can bond so you can share your gift with me, so I feared I might be rushing things, but I admit, I was excited to show you.” 

You’re nearly brought to tears from the way he speaks to you as well as this steamy, inviting bathing pool he’s brought you to. Earth men could never. 

“Thank you,” you whisper a second before jumping into him. Your arms wrap around his neck while his hands pull you in closer. “No one has ever been this nice to me or done something so sweet.” He took you away from at least half your problems, doesn’t mind your cat, gave you a cozy, comfortable house to live in, cooked for you, built your own personal, lavish bathing pool, and wants to give you orgasms every night. Could your life get any better? You might have just fallen in love. It’s not too soon if he’s an alien, right? 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to,” he says, pulling away. “I just wanted to show you tonight, and if all we do is admire one another in our flesh then that’s okay with me.”

Your heart swells. Could your husband get any sweeter? “No, believe me, I want to.” Suddenly, you’re not feeling so shy. The confidence has returned in full force as you take your coat off once again, allowing it to fall to the floor.

“Well,” he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck and avoiding your eyes. “If you’re sure you’re comfortable…”

The mood shifts suddenly. You picked up on the tone of his voice, the uncertainty there. 

“Hey, are you alright?” You stop in the middle of unbuttoning your jeans once again, stepping to him to look into his eyes from below. 

“I just…” He lets out a breath and your heart sinks. 

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do, either,” you remind him, reaching to give his hand a squeeze. “I’ll admit, this whole situation is bananas, and the fact that I have a husband who is an alien is wild to me, but we don’t have to rush anything just because that’s what we’re supposed to do.”

He looks into your eyes, the subtlest of wrinkles between his brows. “It’s just… my whole life I was trained to be a soldier. I’ve spent well over twenty of your earth years testing my combat skills, my war knowledge, my stamina and wit and endurance. It wasn’t until our last years in training did they talk about our need for a human mate from earth. I… I want to be a good mate to you, a good husband, because it’s important to both of our species survival, but I don’t know how.” 

Tears finally do begin to well behind your lids as he speaks. The familiar tightness tugs behind your eyes, heart breaking into pieces. You only thought about how the situation makes you feel, not how your new alien husband would feel. You feel a little sick at the thought of disregarding him just because he’s not human. Of course he has feelings and boundaries. 

“I’m sorry,” you exhale, shaking your head. His expression turns into confusion, brow wrinkling and lips parted. “I guess I’m just used to the men I’ve been with and their ability to only speak with their dicks. This is the most adult conversation I’ve ever had. I don’t know how many times I can say this, but earth men could never!” 

He chuckles as you speak, happy to see his smile return since he’s unbelievably beautiful when he does so. “I like the way you talk. It’s funny.”

“Funny?” You raise a brow, but you can’t stop yourself from grinning. 

“It makes me happy and I just want to keep smiling.”

Oh… he thinks you’re cute. Your stomach flip flops just the same as your heart. 

“Why don’t we start as slow as both of us need to.” You step away from him, gesturing toward the bathing pool. “Let’s just bathe tonight.” 

He agrees and you both begin to take your clothes off. There’s hesitation in every motion and he can’t stop stealing glances at you. Your jeans slide to the floor, his shirt follows. Piece by piece until you’re both naked before one another. His eyes travel down your body, taking in every enticing curve, every dip, every expanse of skin until he’s gulping. You take him in as well, the muscles twitching beneath your gaze, the smooth skin, the fact that his cock is half hard and growing as he looks at you. A big, thick, delicious looking cock that you aren’t sure how is going to fit inside of you, but God do you want to try. 

You don’t want to stare for too long because you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. If he was written by a woman, he was built by a God. It’s hard to pull your eyes away, but you finally manage to make your way to the edge of the steamy pool. The water is crystal clear, noticing glowing markings on the bottom and sides of the pool. The blue, shimmery light guides you to step down into the water, taking each step slow until you’re submerged up to your ribs. 

“How does it feel?” His voice behind you earns your attention. You turn to face him, watching as he follows your steps into the pool. The water comes to his waist as the two of you slowly dance around one another, gliding in the water as the heat relaxes your body. 

“Feels amazing. Like I’m being massaged all over. And what’s that smell?”

“Honey and rose. Comes from the water. The massage feeling is intentional due to the currents created from the vibrations in the walls.”

So that’s where the hum comes from. Interesting. “This is too cool, honestly.” You begin laughing, then he joins in. As if neither of you can believe the situation. All you can do is laugh. 

Until his smile fades and the mood shifts. “Can I see you?” he asks, and at first you’re confused, until his eyes sweep down your body. 

“Didn’t you see when we undressed?”

“I want to see all of it,” is all he says, eyes traveling down once again, and landing on the little V between your thighs. Your heart skips a beat. There’s no way you can tell him no. Not when he looks like he wants to eat you like his favorite dessert, he just may be a little confused about what toppings he wants. You’re willing to show him as you back up to the closest step to hoist yourself up onto the ledge of the bathing pool. His eyes are glued to you as you part your legs for him, giving him the perfect view of your pussy. 

He licks his lips, eyes darkening. The mood has shifted entirely. There’s a heaviness between the two of you now. One of longing and desire. He may not know all the intricacies of sex, but it’s clear he wants to. 

His exhale is heavy before he speaks. “Please, teach me.” He huffs again, like he’s struggling with holding himself together. “Teach me what I can do to make you feel good. 

You bite your lip for a second. “They didn’t prepare you for anything?”

“Not much. We got most of our knowledge from hearsay, though the basics were taught.” He takes another deep breath. “We expect our partners to teach us, that way their needs are met. It’s important to me for you to be pleasured properly. So, please, I’m not asking you to give me a lesson, I’m asking what makes you feel good…”

You inhale a sharp breath. The last thing you want to do is take things too far if he isn’t comfortable. Though, now you’re wondering if he just isn’t comfortable because he doesn’t want to let you down. That’s why it’s so important to him for you to show him.

So your hand falls between your thighs to begin stroking the soft skin of your pussy. Feather light strokes earn his attention quickly, watching so you only play for a few seconds. 

“If it makes you feel better,” you begin, middle finger finding your clit to begin teasing yourself there, “I’ve never done this with anyone before.” His eyes remain trained between your thighs, watching your finger softly circle your clit. 

“You’ve never touched yourself in front of someone?” he asks, and you bite your lip while shaking your head. A grin forms on his lips. “I’m your first?” 

You nod, then sigh when you dip your hand lower, finger easing inside of yourself to feel how wet you’ve become. Then you trace a line back to your clit, beginning to rub in slow circles once again. 

“I’m getting so wet already,” you whisper as he takes a step closer. “It must really turn me on when you watch me.” You don’t consider what you tell him dirty talk. It’s only the truth. You’ve never been watched like this. He takes another step toward you, and another, until he’s pressing his palms to the water’s edge near each of your thighs. 

“I hear it’s a good thing,” he says, looking between your pussy being pleasured and your head tossed back with lips parted. “If you get wet for me, it means you are enjoying yourself, yes?”

“God, yes…” Your fingers dip again, easing inside of you as your hips begin to roll against your hand. 

“Have you ever gotten this wet for anyone else?” he asks as his hand lazily falls onto your thigh, rubbing circles with his thumb. The added attention, even if so innocent and curious, adds to the pleasure, jolts of electricity surging from where he's touched you. 

“I don’t think so,” you tell him in a raspy breath, and once again, it’s the truth. He’s a jealous alien, so he needs reassurance. You feel yourself dripping onto the edge of the pool. No one’s ever made you this hot just by watching you. Normally you have to work hard to get yourself close, but you feel yourself on the edge of bliss within minutes. Slowing down, you bring yourself back in, wanting more than anything to make this moment last between the two of you. 

“Good,” he groans, and it nearly brings you right back to the precipice of your orgasm. “I want to be the only one that gets to see you like this. Touching yourself. Dripping wet for me.”

“Yes!” you cry out, falling back to lean on one hand as he grips your thighs, parting them wider for him to see. The other hand continues to work your clit in messy, quick circles. Your breaths deepen as soft moans escape your lips. You’re getting close to the edge again just from the way he watches you touch yourself. 

“The noises you make are making my cock ache, baby,” he nearly growls, suddenly full of sexual frustration, but he keeps it together. Warmth floods your body from the pet name. It’s never sounded so good coming from anyone else’s mouth. “Does it feel that good, or do you just enjoy me watching you touch yourself that much?”

“Both,” you whimper seconds before the pleasure is bursting from between your thighs. You couldn’t hold yourself off any longer, warmth surging through your body as the bliss takes hold. You cry out for him, reaching to wrap an arm around his neck and pull his body close as you ride out the pleasure. He takes hold of you, wrapping you up in his embrace until you’re coming down and catching your breath. 

Panting, shaking, he holds you against his naked body for what feels like an eternity. He strokes your hair and back, pressing his lips to the top of your head. 

When you pull away, you look him in the eyes, then your gaze falls to his mouth. “Will you kiss me?” you ask, and a darkness ignites in his eyes, the question fueling his evident desire for you. He leans in, pressing his lips to your own. Softly at first, just to feel each other’s skin, then he leans in further. He takes hold of you and the moment, slipping his tongue past your lips to play, to tease. You can’t help but moan against him, becoming lost in the very thing you swore was going to be terrible. 

He finally pulls away from you to begin tending to you as he would if he were really bathing you. He washes your body with the softest cloth and the same smelling gel from a little vial he had prepared. While he washes you, he explores your body, taking his time to go over every inch until you begin to feel worked up again.

When you’re both clean, he helps you out of the pool to dry you off. You giggle at the ticklish spots and he laughs at your giggling. He already has a cozy looking pajama set prepared on the bed which you will share with him when he takes you to the bedroom. 

When you’re dressed for bed, you snuggle between the sheets and he pulls you as close as he can to his body. 

“Good night, wife,” he whispers, placing a kiss against your temple.

“Good night, alien husband,” you reply, smiling to yourself since it seems, not half, but all of your problems have disappeared because of him. 

[pukefactory]

︶꒦꒷ NOCTURNE COLLECTION ꒷꒦︶

ྐ✚ Summary: A Compilation of Headcanons Featuring Ken The Butcher X Reader

ྐ✚ Character(s): Ken The Butcher (The Gaslight District)

ྐ✚ Genre: Headcanons, SFW

ྐ✚ Warning(s): None - Completely Safe!

ྐ✚ Image Credits: @MemuroPage on Pinterest

꒷꒦ You met Ken the same way most people meet death—with a sharp hook around the ankle and the smell of blood in your throat. You weren’t supposed to be in the Whale Belly. You got lost. Or maybe something worse brought you there. But instead of slicing you open like a slab of meat, Ken squinted at your face, muttered something about “wrong time, wrong place,” and offered you a job as a server. With one condition: “You breathe a word to anyone, and I’ll use your ribs for soup stock.” You think that was his way of being sweet.

꒷꒦ Ken doesn’t do affection. He does inspection. He yells at you for not wearing gloves. Yells at you for talking to Mud. Yells at you when you slice onions wrong. “What’re you doin’, lettin’ yourself bleed like that? What if the virtues sniff it out, huh? You tryin’ to die?!” You never realized love could look like a hulking butcher shoving gauze against your palm with shaking hands. Like a man who screams because he doesn’t know how to cry.

꒷꒦ The moment he realizes he’s in love with you, he panics. He tears apart a whole freezer full of pork trying to cool down. What the hell is he supposed to do with this? You—this soft, living thing—liking him? Choosing him? That’s not normal. That’s not safe. So he does the only thing he knows how to: “Stay in the back. Don’t talk to nobody. Don’t look at Mud. Don’t breathe unless I say so.”…And when you do all that anyway, just to stay near him, he nearly bursts a vein.

꒷꒦ He takes “overprotective” to mythic levels. You tripped once and got scraped up. Within the hour, Ken had six gangsters lined up with broken kneecaps, screaming, “WHICH ONE OF YOU PUT A CRACK IN THE SIDEWALK?!” It was a pebble. Doesn’t matter. They’re still cemented to this day.

꒷꒦ He can’t bear to let you out of his sight, so he makes you a butcher’s apprentice. Now you’re stuck in the Whale Belly, learning how to clean knives while Ken critiques your slicing technique with the intensity of a drill sergeant. “No, no, you’re butcherin’ the cut wrong! And not in the good way! Look—like this, you see? Precise. Surgical. Delicate, like open-heart murder.” You can’t tell if he’s flirting or teaching, but either way, you’re sweating.

꒷꒦ When he thinks about the future, he sees red. Not in the angry way. In the wedding veil soaked in blood kind of way. He doesn’t think he deserves a happy ending, but sometimes he imagines one: you in some nice white piece (with a Kevlar vest underneath), him walking you down the aisle (or slaughterhouse hallway), Breadhead officiating. “I’m just sayin’, … if this dump ever goes quiet, and Mel don’t hate my guts, and I ain’t dead yet… maybe we find a chapel. Or a ditch. You pick.”

꒷꒦ He makes you breakfast every morning: eggs (not human), toast (slightly charred), and coffee so bitter it feels like chewing sin. He won’t let anyone else near your food. “You want cyanide in your pancakes? No? Then you eat what I cook.” You tell him it’s perfect every time. He grumbles. But he starts setting the table for two anyway.

꒷꒦ Ken doesn’t trust easily, but he gives you the key to the back freezer. No one has that key. Not even Breadhead. It’s where he keeps the real things. The sacred things. The broken things that still hurt. You found an old photo once—of a baby with a familiar curl in her hair, held by someone Ken tore out of the frame. He saw you holding it and went silent for the whole night. Next morning, he gave you a necklace made from a butcher’s hook. “Wear it. If the virtues come for you… you’ll swing before they do.”

꒷꒦ He doesn’t say “I love you.” He says “Don’t die.” He says it a lot. After arguments. Before raids. When you go to sleep. “Don’t die on me. Not before I do. Not before I finish what I started.” You don’t say anything back. You just hold his hand—scarred, raw, shaking—and hope it says enough.

꒷꒦ If anyone ever hurt you, there wouldn’t be a second time. There wouldn’t be a first time, not really—just a blip before Ken’s rage blotted out the sun. He’s not subtle. He doesn’t bluff. If someone touched a hair on your head, he’d go full monologue: “You touched somethin’ that didn’t belong to you. And now, I’m gonna peel you like garlic and use your spine as a meat skewer.” You asked once if he’d really go that far. He didn’t answer. Just wiped his hands, kissed your knuckles, and muttered, “Only if I’m feelin’ merciful.”

[scribblesofagoonerr]

emotional support goat | buddy & monkey: double the trouble

summary: monkey gets her inheritence money, and buys an emotional support goat.

double the trouble masterlist

“Red flower, blue thorns… Red flower, blue thorns…” You muttered to yourself, repeating the famous one-liner from Shrek, clearly in your own world. You bounced around the gym in the training grounds, deliberately avoiding the light workout you’d been assigned, despite Leah’s instructions, “This would be so much easier if I wasn’t colourblind!” You added, half-heartedly trying to focus on the task at hand, but it was clear you weren’t interested.

Leah sighed, crossing her arms over her chest as she watched you saunter around the gym, “Monkey, stop muckin’ around and do what you’ve been asked.”

You grinned cheekily, eyes lighting up with a new idea, “Hey, ‘ere, Mum! What d’you think about me getting a pet goat?” You asked casually, like it was the most normal thing to say in the middle of a light workout.

“In your dreams, my girl,” Leah replied, her tone firm but affectionate.

“Awh, shucks,” You pouted, slumping your shoulders, “Come on, I’d love one! I think it would be super fun, though!”

“Monkey, stop wasting time and get on with it,” Leah’s voice grew more exasperated as she watched you continue to distract yourself with every possible excuse not to follow through, “Monkey!”

“Huh–What? I am!” You responded, feigning innocence but clearly not putting in any real effort.

Leah shook her head, “You really look like you are—Monkey!” She scolded, catching you attempting to muck around with Kyra.

“What? I’m just chattin’ to my bestie about my possible goat!” You told her excitedly, as if it were the most important thing in the world, as you ignored Leah and plopped yourself down beside Kyra, “Ky! What d’you think about me getting a pet goat? It’d be cool, yeah?”

“You’re gettin’ a pet goat?” Kyra’s eyes lit up with excitement, her smile widening, “That’s so cool! It would be so Monkey-coded of you to do something like that!”

“That’s what I thought!” You beamed, pleased with yourself, “And I even thought about names for it!”

Leah raised an eyebrow, arms still crossed, “You needn’t think you’re getting a pet goat, Logan!” She barked, her tone now sharp.

Beth, overhearing the conversation, let out a low whistle, “Ooft, first name—Leah’s being serious on this one, trouble.”

You huffed, rolling your eyes, “Me? I’m completely innocent!” You pretended to act innocent, moving over to the bench and picking up the nearest thing that just so happened to be a medicine ball as you attempted to mischievously aim it at the wall, “I’m so bored in ‘ere!”

“Don’t you even dare think about throwing that at anyone,” Leah warned, catching you about to throw it, giving you that all too familiar look, “Put. It. Down.”

Katie snorted in amusement, “I feel like I’m having déjà vu right now.”

“Ere’, Le? Have you ordered anything at all?” Caitlin wandered into the gym, looking curious, “You’ve got a delivery man waiting for you out in reception, said he’s got something for you.”

Leah furrowed her brows, “What? I… I don’t think I’ve ordered anything—”

“She’s ‘ere! She’s ‘ere!” You bolted up from the bench, wanting to race towards the reception area, “Vivi’s finally ‘ere!”

“Did she just… Did she just say Vivi?” Beth asked, bewildered.

“Yeah, I think… I think she did?” Lia murmured, just as confused as the blonde.

Katie snorted in amusement, “Oh, what is the little lady up to now?”

“Vivi?” Leah repeated, and then she heard it—the unmistakable bleating of your new best mate.

You’d only gone and brought a goat.

“Logan Reece Williamson-Nobbs!” Leah bellowed across the entire gym, “Tell me that you haven’t brought a bloody goat!?”

You have done a lot of dumb things over the years. But this? This really was up there.

You’d inherited money from your Grandma Jean, you finally had access to your funds that had been tied up–Leah and Jordan added to it, along with both of the families. It was meant for your future—Rugrat’s future. Something stable. Sensible. Safe.

But you definitely didn’t see it that way.

And instead? You went and brought a goat, and you had decided to name it after the real goat herself.

“My goat!” You beamed a huge smile, bouncing on your toes as you were ever so eager as you gasped in awe at the sight of your new four-legged friend, “Oh my God, you’re so cute! Hi! You’re so adorable!”

“What the fuck is that?” Leah stopped mid-track, eyes wide, “Logan Reece! Are you actually joking with me, right now?!”

“Mum! Meet Dory Vivianne Shrek Margherita Haribo Williamson-Nobbs. Named after the real goat, one of my favourite films, and my favourite food!” You crouched down to give the goat a loving pet, “I bought a pet goat!”

Leah stood there in disbelief, “Are you fuckin’ kidding me, Logan?!”

“Okay, first name. Not so bad,” You mumbled, not at all that phased.

“Logan Reece, you used your inheritance money–the inheritance money that you had from your Grandma Jean–for that?!” Leah’s voice cracked mid-shriek as she pointed accusingly at the bleating creature now happily trotting around reception, “I can not believe how irresponsible you have been! What… What on earth possessed you to think this was a good idea, huh?”

“Right, second name, I’m in trouble,” You admitted aloud.

By now, the whole squad had now gathered in reception, trying not to laugh—and failing.

“Aw,” Kyra gushed, crouching to the goats’ level, “Monkey, I can’t believe you brought a goat!”

Leah, standing there, arms crossed over her chest and gritting her teeth, “Yeah, neither can I believe it.”

“They’re kinda cute,” Steph offered.

“So, who’s this little fella then?” Katie questioned, amusedly.

Caitlin blinked, “Umm, babe, I think it might be a female.”

“Steph’s right, she is pretty cute,” Alessia chipped in.

“Adorable,” Emily added.

“Have you thought of a name, little one?” Lia wondered, smiling faintly.

“She needn’t think of a name, we’re not keeping that thing!” Leah was adamant, scowling at the four-legged animal like it personally offended her, “What on earth went through your head thinking buying a goat would be a good idea, Logan!?”

You shoved your hands in the pockets of your shorts, “Well… I saw it, I wanted it… And I brought it.”

“Right, well in that case I hope you can get a full refund on her,” Leah mumbled, exhaling a sigh.

“What’s all the fuss?” Kim joined the rest of the squad, her eyes widening, “Monkey, why on earth do you have a goat on a leash?”

“I brought her, Auntie Kimmy!” You grinned from ear to ear, “What d’you think? Ain’t she a cutie?”

“Cute is not the word I would use,” Kim muttered in disbelief, not believing that there was a goat in the reception—but this was just typical of you.

“I think she’s proper cute,” You ruffled your new goat’s floppy ears, “A right proper cutie!”

“I have to agree there, Monkey. What’s her name?” Beth questioned, curiously.

You continued to beam a wide smile, “You’re gonna love it, Beffy! It’s Dory Vivianne Shrek Margherita Hariibo Williamson-Nobbs,” The name just rolled off your tongue, like it fitted, “Or Vivi for short. Like the true goat herself.”

“Vivi?” Beth’s face broke out into a massive grin, “I love her, Monkey!”

“She’s not staying, Monkey,” Leah growled.

“What? Why not?” You gasped, offended at the comment, “C’mon, Mum! You know Buddy will love her too—We already lost one Vivi—You can’t get rid of this one too! You know, she could be the next Arsenal mascot!”

“No, Monkey,” Leah stood firm on her decision, “You’re not keeping her—I’m not having my house turn into a bloody farm!”

“You’d need a chicken coop, and some cows before you could class it as a farm,” Manu chimed in, and your eyes lit up at the prospect of owning your own small fluffy cow.

“Good job that Monkey’s petrified of chickens then, eh?” Steph joked.

“Don’t give her ideas,” Kim murmured, shaking her head in disagreement, “I thought you were being sensible with money now, Monkey? You have a baby to think about, remember!”

“I am thinking about her, this is an investment in her future!” You protested, pouting, “I brought a goat for her, well… And me, too!”

Leah scoffed, shaking her head, “That money was from your Grandma–an investment in your future—something to help you prepare for Rugrat, not to blow it on an irresponsible purchase You need stuff for the baby–appropriate things!”

You gasped in horror, clutching your hand over your heart, “It’s not irresponsible, and Buddy will love this as well! You know she’s been sad with Elle leavin’, well now this will definitely cheer her up!”

“Then buy her an icecream, or toy, or better yet take her to the park and push her on the swings,” Leah ran her hand through her hair, “You don’t go and buy her a fucking goat, Logan!”

You flinched at the sudden harshness of your name thrown directly at you, but that didn’t bother you in the slightest, “Language, Mum. Bet you owe so much to the swear jar now!”

“I couldn’t give two tosses about the swear jar,” Leah growled, shaking her head in disagreement, “We’re not keeping that goat. End of.”

“But Muuuuuum,” You groaned, throwing your head back in disappointment, “That’s not fair!”

Leah, however, wasn’t budging at all, “I don’t care if it’s fair or not. You’re not keeping a goat as a pet, Monkey.”

“Oh, Viv is going to absolutely love this,” Beth exclaimed, scrambling for her phone in her shorts pocket, “Here, Monkey, stand next to your new goat and smile!”

“We’re not keeping it,” Leah muttered, having an existential crisis in that moment, “Monkey, I want you to get in touch with whoever you brought it from to and tell them to come and get it back. A puppy is one thing, but a goat? It’s not happening, Logan.”

You knew Leah was being serious when she used your full name, “But Mum… The thing is,” You began to explain, hesitant for her reaction, “I can’t get a refund on Vivi.”

Leah blinked in disbelief, “What do you mean you can’t get a refund?”

“I… I can’t get a refund on Vivi,” You told her the truth, giving her a sheepish smile, “So… she’s ours for good, pretty much. But don’t worry, wait until Buddy meets her when we pick her up from pre-school, she’s gonna love ‘er so much! Besides, you can’t get rid of her, cos’ she’s my emotional support goat, and well I’ll be lost without her!”

“Brilliant, just brilliant,” Leah scoffed, shaking her head, “We’re not keeping the goat, Monkey! I’m being serious, if you can’t get a refund, then we’re giving her to an animal sanctuary, or something. My house is not being turned into a bloody farmyard!

It didn’t take long before Leah was on the phone to Jordan as you heard the tail-end of the conversation, “Jord? Your daughter bought a goat. Fix it.”

But at least Jordan was easier to convince than Leah, and you know that Vivi the goat would be a permanent fixture in your life now.

© scribblesofagoonerr

[thewritingfairy]

I keep thinking about 'Jason crime' and the fact that they made a replica of reader's room is so... disturbing? Scary? (I don't find the word in English. It's not my first language)

Imagine you got beaten helf to death and your room got completely destroyed and when you woke up you found yourself in a copy of your room. Like nothing. Ever. Happened.

The only events you have are your family hamilton and your physical condition.

It gives me questions.

1. Do the girls know that Jason came to the reader room and destroyed it? Because you said that they were just told he fallen to Pit madness and reader got hurt in the cross fire. Is that all they know?

2. (This one is dark) What would happen if the Batfamily was late and the reader ended up dead by Jason's hands? I mean the only normal one in their family died by the hand of one of them.

Will guilt come crashing on them or will it be a slow process?

Will They make a funeral and try to make some excuse?

What will happen to Jason?

Will they try to bring the reader back?

_🪷

Fic mentioned: 04.1 Jason's crime

I think the words you used were correct, English isn't my first language either and I switch a lot between dialects (which might be noticable tbh).

But it is disturbing, yes. Especially if you factor in that the batfamily are supposed to be heroes. They are supposed to be the 'good ones'.

But to your questions;

No, they don't know anything. They only know that your heirlooms have been destroyed, they didn't even remember were your old room was, so they think it was just a small pit incident. And that you were hurt so badly because you threw yourself on your heirlooms without thinking. (they don't factor in that you have never recieved training and don't know about Jason's pit madness or anything really)

Now reader dying, that sounds like a good ass side story tbh.

BUT, if Reader died that means that Jason has to confront something else. The fact that he did the same thing the Joker did, just - the prolonged torture and the crowbar. But does that make it any better? Of course not, so that's why it's enough to make him spiral even more.

It breaks everyone's heart that the normal one passed away, and this is before Damian gets pissed at you. So he demands that you have a big funeral, that you are remembered properly and that you are grieved properly by your mother's traditions.

There will be guilt crashing down, there will be a funeral but there will also be excuses. They'll say that a petty villain broke in and killed you, they already lost you so you won't blame them for not wanting to lose Jason right?

I don't really like the idea of bringing the Reader's back with the pit, especially a disabled reader. (Because if they were to die and then brought back their illness would absolutely flare up) I believe personally, that Reader's chronic pain would get worse after going through the pit.

[brisim-claimhte]

One of said historians here. I specialise in religious pollution, and have spent the last year obsessing over it's relationship with bodily fluids specifically. This course of action has culminated in the fact that I will soon be giving a presentation that requires me to discuss anal fisting at nowhere less than Oxford University itself.

As a result of my interest in Greek religion, I have encountered so much misinformation regarding religious pollution in HelPol spaces, and so here is a crash course on how it worked for the ancients.

But first, a couple of general facts about ancient Hellenic polytheism that I often see misconstrued

The ancient Greeks did believe that myths were real. They saw them as part of their history, which is very clearly displayed in the lack of differentiation between myths and historical events in their own history writing.

They did not however, believe they could interact with the gods other than through the medium of an oracle. They believed that once the Age of Heroes ended, the gods stopped interacting with mortals beyond their chosen messengers.

The did not think their gods were inherently good or evil, they just were. You prayed to the gods to keep them on your side, not because they were some benevolent greater being.

You could not worship other gods alongside the greek ones. You could however, declare that non-Greek gods were actually Greek and did so through a process we now call syncretism.

There was a mythic canon. Generally if a god or muse is invoked at the beginning of a story then it was considered to be the truth (homeric epic, the argonautica, homeric hymns). The god is invoked and asked to use the author as a conduit to record the true story. If a god is not invoked at the beginning of the story then that story is not intended to convey the true myth, and was essentially ancient historical fiction, eg. Euripides.

Athens does not represent the Hellenic world. The reason we have so much surviving from there is that the Ptolemies decided to prioritise Athenian literature, and made knowledge of it essential to social status and mobility within their empire. The people in Ptolemaic Egypt wrote said literature down on papyri, which was able to be preserved in the dry, oxygen free environment of the desert.

there was no personal religion. Unlike the Romans, the greeks did not have household spirits etc. All prayers and their accompanying sacrifices took place at communal temples. Some of these temples could belong to private groups, but they were just that, groups. Not individuals.

Their religion was so embedded in their society they did not even have a word for it. Not a single aspect of their lives was separate from their practice, not politics, not trade, not farming. The gods were present in everything.

---

Terminology

miasma - religious pollution, a fact of life intrinsic to being mortal. Miasma is what separated the mortal from the divine, its unavoidable, can be cleansed, but will always return. The gods are immune to miasma

asebeia - to act against the gods. There is no moral connotations associated with asebeia, some asebeiac acts are immoral (like murder) and some are just a fact of life (pissing, shitting, bleeding).

lyma - physical dirt/filth that can be removed via water

ritual norms/sacred law - does what it says on the tin, a series of rules to be followed regarding conduct related to religious activity. They are found on inscriptions, and are extremely patchwork as the rules of religious practice were transmitted orally. The CGRN is a free to access digital archive of the laws, with the original greek, translations into both English and French, and commentary on their contents. It is not complete, and focuses mostly on laws concerning purity and sacrifice.

there are more terms, these are just the ones I see come up the most.

---

Ritual Purity At the entrances to sanctuaries, there was normally a large shallow basin of water that people would sprinkle on themselves to symbolically cleanse themselves of miasma upon entering. Water was not inherently sacred, this is an idea you'll see come up a lot in academic texts, but it has no precedent in ancient practice.

Women were considered to be more miasmic than men because they were, for want of better terminology, leaky. This is because human bodily fluids were considered miasmic, and women's bodies had more uncontrolled emission of bodily fluid than men (discharge, breastmilk, menstrual blood). Additionally, women's bodies were considered spongey, and so would absorb more moisture that would then be excreted.

Additionally, said bodily fluids were usually considered forbidden in sanctuaries, with the notable exception of blood for extreme purification rituals, and what ever the fuck they were doing at Orthia.

Sanctuaries had regulations for how long you had to wait after miasmic acts to be able to enter. Examples of such acts were sex, childbirth, eating garlic, and menstruation.

---

Menstruation's status as miasmic is extremely contested!!! Parker argues that it isn't, as we have only four surviving regulations deeming it so, and all four are either in Magna Graecia or for syncretised gods. I disagree, I have argued that the reason that these regulations were found was because their was a high proportion of non-greeks using these sanctuaries and therefore they would not have been familiar with these norms. Additionally, menstruation is notably absent in any form of non-medical text (Including Aristophanes who is noted for his humour based on bodily fluids), with the exception of Hesiod's discussion on ritual purity, where according to Plutarch's scholia, the reason he warns against men using women's bath water is because of womanly emissions aka, menstruation, discharge, and breastmilk. His lack of differentiation indicates that all three, like all other bodily fluids, are miasmic. And therefore its absence in surviving literature on the topic is due to an intense taboo, rather than not being relevant.

---

Other things that were majorly miasmic/asebeia were but not limited to:

murder! especially of family members (I'm looking at you Medea)

death in general

plague

knowingly offering the wrong sacrifice to a god (Atreus)

forgetting to offer sacrifice to a god after sacrificing to the others! (Caledonian Boar Hunt)

refusing to worship a god (Hippolytus)

acting as if you are equal to the gods aka hubris (Arachne and Achilles)

---

Miasma was thought to be contagious, and so in Athens we see the murder courts being roofless, and if you committed murder outside of Attica, you were tried on a boat, rather than letting you touch Attic soil.

We also see the temple to Eileithyia at Athens being located outside the city walls, and having an area around it where there is no evidence of man made structures, essentially a blast radius for the miasma associated with a temple of childbirth.

The Chthonic gods were worshipped separately to the Ouronic because for them asebeia worked differently on account of their close relationship with death.

---

Other readings on these topics are Miasma by Richard Parker, Greek Religion by Jan Bremmer, Transgression and Deviance in the Ancient World by Gilhaus et. al., Bodily Fluids in Antiquity by Bradley et. al., and Greek Sacred Law by Lupu.

But really, the best way to inform yourself is by reading myth and with its accompanying commentaries if you can't read ancient Greek because otherwise so much nuance and specificity is lost (not Wilson's Homeric translations, I know the marketing says they are accessible but the author has stated in an interview that they are intended to be subversive, and therefore are not going to be accurate to the Greek).

And do it critically, actively avoid using your own lens and instead try and understand the logic within the stories. Who gets punished for what, and why? what patterns of behaviour emerge? Try to understand the logic around what is considered honourable within their world, and then see how you can adapt it to your everyday life.

hello :) not sure if you'll ever see this or respond in time but why not I'm having some issues finding reputable sources on modern Hellenism and reconstructionist Greco-Roman religions for my university work! Not nessecarily academic sources but stuff that someone might normally come across to get an understanding of it.

Thanks :)

Accurate sources on Modern reconstructionist Hellenism? That's a tricky one. If you have access to a university database, I'd start with Antoine Faivre's work on the new age and the reconstructionist movements for background. But if you're looking for current stuff youre probably gonna end up interviewing people.

[cripplecharacters]

Howdy! I’m working on a story with a side character who has mild to moderate intellectual disability from fetal alcohol spectrum disorder.

The character really likes dinosaurs and I was considering having the character buy presents for his family members all with dinosaurs because that’s what makes him happy. But I was wondering if this would perpetuate harmful stereotypes? Any insight wanted thank you!

I was also wondering about writing his speech and how his family talk to him. I’m assuming they use simplified language? But I’m not sure what that looks like in general conversation.

Hey!

If it's not presented as child-like or "stupid" by the narrative, I have no problem with it - seems realistic to me. I know a person from who attended SPED with me who did basically the same thing (except not dinosaurs specifically and with more or less everyone rather than just family members). I also appreciate an intellectually disabled character that's shown to have some deeper characterization to them, so that's cool to see.

Speech/language/verbality is a more complicated thing. It's a really broad spectrum in the context of intellectual disability. Some people will have it essentially unaffected - either because their ID is mild, or they have a specific disorder, like Williams Syndrome, where language doesn't tend to be affected much - and some have it be very obvious. To my understanding FASD doesn't specifically affect language abilities more than 'regular' intellectual disability.

If your character has mild ID, there's a chance his linguistic skills won't affect the dialogue 90% of the time. You can have him ask another character for clarification on what they said, for example, or ask them to reword a run-on sentence because he got lost 2 clauses ago. He might have poorer intuition when it comes to pronouncing an ambiguous word for the first time (for example, not noticing the pattern that the word is built on and breaking the syllables up incorrectly). He could have a particular tone of voice (most commonly: monotone) that you could mention in the dialogue tags. But things like incorrect basic grammar or misunderstanding everyday words are not a feature of mild ID (on its own at least).

Many people with mild ID aren't "obviously ID" to most people, and that includes speech. Others can often tell something is different, but in my experience it's often chalked up to autism, [insert a random developmental condition that person happens to know], or even poor hearing (some people might talk very loudly, which is what HoH/deaf people are often stereotyped as) since the average person seems to assume that a person with intellectual disability wouldn't be able to talk at all, or they don't even consider the possibility that a person with ID could exist near them (as opposed to being in an institution).

As for how people talk to him, that's a completely separate thing. You could have a situation where a mildly ID character knows someone and they have completely normal dialogue, but then the other character learns about the other's ID, and they suddenly turn to babytalk. Is this appropriate; no, the disabled character could clearly hold the conversation previously, is this realistic; absolutely.

However, yes, your character could need other people to alter how they speak to him, especially if his ID is more severe than just mild (and as always: it's not infantilization to have your needs met). Here you have some of the most common and realistic options of what happens (I'll use much simpler sentence examples than what would actually need to be simplified for the sake of clarity):

The bare minimum. This is what happens when someone is kinda trying, but not really. Maybe they don't have the patience, maybe they just didn't think about it too much. Either way, the disabled character doesn't get the full picture and is effectively left out of the conversation. E.g.: "Oh, yesterday Zainab and I went to the club and met up with her boyfriend and his annoying older brother, we wanted to grab some drinks there, but they were just so overpriced." = "I went out yesterday."

The "don't worry about it :)". Pretty much what it says. The other character decides that the disabled character doesn't actually need to hear that; they decide that it's irrelevant for them. E.g.: "Ever since her rent increased my mother has been doing nothing but worrying sick, and she won't even let me help her out." = "Don't worry about it."

The actual simplified version. The gold standard of simplifying something is actually making the person understand what you are talking about without leaving out information, or leaving out as little as possible. Depending on the actual text, it might not always be possible (you can only get so far in simplifying scientific subjects, for example), but in terms of regular conversation you can probably accurately simplify the vast majority of things being said. An example I like to use is English Wikipedia vs Simple English Wikipedia, some of the main features are shorter sentences, more commonly used words (when appropriate), and they use fewer pronouns in favor of repeating nouns. It's not perfect, but I think it illustrates what I mean by "simplification vs baby talk".

To figure out how his family speaks to him, you need to think about who they are as people and what's their relationship to him. An impatient person might just wave their hand and keep talking even if the character asks for clarification, while someone else might automatically switch how they speak when he enters the room to make him feel included. It's also a great way to show-don't-tell what the family dynamics are towards the disabled character.

Some of the posts about ID and language speech: 1, 2.

Hope this helps,

mod Sasza

[mountquokka]

100 follower special: You can’t go up

Woosan X fem!reader

Word count: 3,883

Warnings: Co-CEO husbands woosan, dom San, switch Wooyoung, sub reader, jealous receptionist, threesome, mxm, oral (f and m receiving), degradation (slut, cockslut), nicknames (princess, baby, babyboy, love), daddy kink, sir kink, spit roasting, sucking cum off fingers, dirty talk, swallowing/cum eating, face riding, mentions of double penetration, woo getting fucked from both sides at once, woo gets needy and desperate, face fucking, choking, begging, facial, some hair pulling, let me know if I missed any

Summary: What will happen when you get denied entry for the way you dress to visit your husbands and they show you how wrong she was?

Notes: I keep switching between Woo and Wooyoung because I kept getting lazy to type out his name 😭 Also definitely the longest fic I’ve ever written so far🤭

Taglist <3: @hongjoongtime117 @lee-sang1625 @wontini

You had walked into your husbands' company excited to surprise them. You decide to be comfortable and wear San’s hoodie and the sweatpants Wooyoung loves much. You walk up to the front desk wondering why the normal receptionist wasn't there. Then you remember that she had recently had a baby and was on maternity leave. You walk to the desk and noticed the new receptionist side eye you. You ignore it and continue what you were doing.

"Hi I'm Y/n and I'm here to see San and Wooyoung" the receptionist scoffs and replies "do you have an appointment?" "no I don't, I usu-"

"Then I'm sorry, you can't go up. MR. Choi and MR. Jung only take appointments. You see they are very busy men" You were caught off guard by her response and tried to explain. "I know they only take appointments but they know me and Nayoung knows and just lets me up."

"Yeah sure. I totally believe that they know you. There's no way such successful men like them would know someone like you" "what do you mean someone like me?" The receptionist laughs "oh honey have you looked at yourself? You’re in a business dressed like that? No one would ever take you seriously"

You started getting annoyed with her attitude and responded "you aren't understanding, I'm with them." There was a slight pause. Then she starts laughing harder. "YOU?! With them?! That's fucking hilarious. Like they would ever be with a bum like you. They would want someone more sophisticated, like me" you were beyond pissed now. Not only did she just insult you, she said she'd be a better fit for them. You walk away from the desk and pull out your phone. You open your group chat with the guys and send a message:

You: can one of you come down to get me from the lobby? The receptionist won't let me up😒 Woo🖤🐈‍⬛: oh you’re here?🤩 Woo🖤🐈‍⬛: wait why not?🤨 You: yeah I was trying to surprise you You: because "I don't have an appointment" and some other shit I'll talk about when we get back up to your office San⛰️💜: I'll come get you princess You: thank you Sannie 😘 San⛰️💜: of course ❤️

You walk back to the desk and smirk at the receptionist. She gave a stank face and asked "what are you smiling about?" "about how fucked you are" Her face changed to one of confusion "what are you taking ab-" Before she could finish her question, the elevator dinged and San walked out. He was dressed in his signature black suit, looking as sexy as ever.

"So what's going on here? Why won't you let her up?" the receptionist heard the slight aggressiveness in his voice and tries to answer innocently "because she doesn't have an appointment sir, I was told not to let anyone up if they don't have an appointment." she tried to give some sort of puppy dog face to get him to not be mad at her. "She doesn't need an appointment and I would like you to make note of that from now on. Am I clear?" San declares completely ignoring her pouty face. The receptionist was completely shock and you smile at the look. "But sir- " "AM I clear?" he asks more sternly. She nods and glares back at you. You go over to San and grab his hand and he interlocks your fingers together. You turn around to see the look on her face and it was exactly what you expected. Complete disbelief. You chuckle and turn back towards the elevator. Of course you reach up to kiss San on the cheek before going in to really piss her off.

When you got to their office on the top floor of the building, you go over to Wooyoung and give him a kiss on the cheek. "So what happened?"

You take your seat on Wooyoung’s lap and start explaining. "so basically she said I can't go up cause I don't have an appointment AND that I didn't belong because of how I was dressed. I tried to explain that I'm with you two and she just laughed at me saying that successful men like you wouldn't be with ‘someone like me’”

San was pissed at what he was hearing and goes to his phone on his desk. "Sannie what are you doing?" you asked. He didn't answer and dialed a number. “hey Yuri? Can you pull out the list of hires for the temporary receptionist position… No you can hold them I'll come pick it up... Thank you" he hangs up the phone. "That bitch is gone" "that was kinda hot " Woo say chuckling, while playfully biting his lip. "San did you just?” he nods "no one talks to our wife that way and gets away with it"

You go over to him and gives him a kiss. You pull away and smile lovingly at him. "Thank you Sannie. I love you." He smiles and kisses her forehead "I love you too Princess” Their moment was interrupted by a throat clearing. "And I love you Woo" He smiles and replies "I love you too baby" you go back over to him and take your spot on his lap and kiss him as well so he's not left out.

You make yourself comfortable while the men work. You just casually play on your phone with Wooyoung occasionally kissing your cheek and forehead. Then the words popped into your head that the receptionist said to you.

"They would want someone more sophisticated, like me"

You then got a major wave of possessiveness and cuddle closer to Wooyoung. You bury your face into his neck and start giving light kisses. Wooyoung noticed your change in behavior but didn't say anything and let it happen.

The subtle kisses started to turn to kisses, bites and licks. Wooyoung started to let out quiet groans but tried his best to ignore and keep working. Until you full on bite his neck; knowing he's weak to bites. "Fuck" Wooyoung groans "baby I'm trying to work, can't you wait just a little longer? It's almost lunch." You get off his lap and move to straddle his thighs. You look at him with big doe eyes and a pout "please sir? I want you"

Wooyoung groans at your little begs and really tries to refuse but you just look so cute he can't say no. "Fine baby. But only for a little bit I really need to finish this report" Wooyoung moves his chair away from his desk and squeezes your ass. "Did you wear these just for me?" you nod. He smirks and continues to squeeze them. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a kiss. The kiss quickly deepens and you both let out soft groans into each others mouth.

Wooyoung pulls away from your lips and starts kissing down your jaw and to your neck. You let out soft whines as he leaves a trail of kisses. He removes a hand from your ass and slides it up underneath the hoodie and squeezes your breast and plays with your nipple. He hums as you moan softly at the action and switches to the other. Then he slides his hand down into your sweatpants and make direct contact with your dripping wet core. "No bra or panties? So bold of you. You naughty little slut” you moan a little louder at his words as he starts moving his fingers against your slippery folds. "Please Woo I want your fingers. Please?” "what's my name baby?" he asked as he starts to rub your bundle of nerves. "Fuck please sir" he smirks and takes one of his fingers and slowly pushes it into your heat. You slowly start grinding against the finger and let out little whimpers. Wooyoung watches you fuck yourself against his finger with darkening lust filled eyes, slowly adding a second finger. You moan a little too loud and Wooyoung grabs your throat pulling you to his lips in a sloppy kiss "you have to stay quiet baby or do you want the whole floor to hear how much of a slut you are for me?" “Fuck I'm sorry sir. it just feels so good" he bites his lip as you move your hips faster.

San is fully aware of what's going on. But he has such good self control, he keeps working, even though he's twitching constantly due to all the sounds happening right next to him. He tries to subtly adjust his pants but it doesn't go unnoticed by Wooyoung. "Do you want to join Sannie? That looks a little painful" "you know I can't… as much as I really want to." Wooyoung starts thrusting his fingers faster them pulls them out of you causing you to whine from the emptiness.

"Oh come on Sannie, just look how much she's dripping for us” he knows he shouldn't look because he'd give in but he does anyway. He instantly groans at Wooyoung's glistening fingers, all self control gone. He goes over to Wooyoung’s chair and pulls the fingers into his mouth, sucking off your arousal. You whine at the action in front of you.

“Fuck, you know I can never pass up a chance to taste our princess” His eyes are filled with lust as he grabs you by your throat and pulls you into a desperate kiss. Wooyoung continues to squeeze your ass and play with your nipples causing you to moan against San’s mouth. You both pull away to catch your breath. “Please daddy, sir please?” “Please what princess?” San asks stroking your cheek gently with his thumb. You whine “I want you both” Both of the guys smirk at your response. San pulls you off Wooyoung’s lap and turn you so your back is to his chest. He moves your legs to hang over Woo’s and gets onto his knees. He starts pulling your sweatpants off “It’s a good thing you’re here baby. It’s lunchtime and I seem to have forgotten my lunch today. You wouldn’t want your poor Sannie to be hungry now would you?” You shake your head and bite your lip. He smirks and lowers his head to your dripping core. You moan at the contact and your hands instantly goes to his hair. Wooyoung leaves kisses and bites on your neck as his hands go up and down your body. He removes your hoodie, leaving you completely naked in their presence. He plays with your nipples before going to your clit.

You whine at the stimulation arching your back off wooyoung’s chest. "does Daddy's tongue feel good baby?" San groans at Wooyoung calling him daddy "y-yes it feel s-so good. Fuck~" he smirks and rubs your clit faster. You almost scream as you get closer to your high. “I'm so close. Fuck~" Wooyoung looks down over your shoulder at San who is looking back at him and subtly nods. "cum for us baby. Drown Sannie in you sweetness" you moan at his words and release into san’s mouth. San lapped up everything and pulls away, face glistening. Wooyoung takes the fingers that was rubbing your clit and sucks off your arousal groaning at the taste. You whimper as you come down from your high.

San gets up from the floor and goes to Wooyoung. He pulls him into a deep passionate kiss, groaning into each other's mouth as they savor your taste on San's tongue. After completely coming down from your high, you take in the scene going on next to you and whine. You reach to both of their prominent bulges in their suit pants and palm at them. They both groan in each other’s mouths and pull away from the kiss, a string of saliva still connecting their lips together. "someone's really needy today, aren't you princess?" you whimper and continue to palm at their twitching lengths. "please. I wanna feel you both”

San moves to the side and Woo taps your thigh for you to get up. You land on the ground on shaky legs. San held you against him so you don’t fall. Woo stands and stretches before going to the couch in the opposite corner of the office space. He makes himself comfortable leaning up against the arm of the couch. He starts to unbuckle his belt and you whine at the bulge in his suit pants, barely being contained behind the zipper.

San carries you over to the couch and places you between Woo’s legs. You paw and the waistband of his pants, waiting for him to keep going. Woo smirks at you and slowly undoes his button. You start to get impatient and decide to take matters into your own hands. You make yourself level with his constrained member and start mouthing at it over his pants. Woo’s eyes widen and groans at the feeling. He tries to push your head away but it felt so good finally getting attention that he just lets it happen. But San wasn’t having it.

He pulls you away by your hair and Woo whines at the loss of your warm mouth. “Relax, you’ll have cock in you soon. Be patient” He lets go of your hair and Woo pulls his pants down to finally release his member and your mouth waters. The tip glistening with precum just asking to be devoured. You decide to not waste anymore time and take it into your mouth. Both you and Wooyoung moaning in unison. You take him in inch by inch until your nose hit his pelvic bone. Woo reveling in the long awaited feeling of your deliciously warm mouth.

San watches as you take Wooyoung deep in your throat. He grinds his boxer covered member against your ass. “My needy babies” he moans as his grinds turn into soft thrust, imagining you gripping his cock. As they started to speed up, you beginning to meet his thrust. “You want it princess?” You moan around Woo’s member and release with a pop. “Please daddy, please fuck me” San slaps your ass as he pulls down his boxers. He glides his throbbing cock against you, the tip grazing your sensitive clit. You whine again against Woo and he moans at the vibration.

San lines himself up and slowly pushes in. He groans at how tight you are, despite taking them both just last night. He starts off slow with his thrust, savoring in the warmth. He feels you clench as you gag on Woo’s dick and starts to speed up his thrusts. He continues to thrust into you as you keeping choking and gagging on Wooyoung. “Fuck~ I’m gonna cum keep going baby” Woo groans as the tightness in his lower stomach was close to snapping. San speeds up to an inhumane speed causing you to take Wooyoung deep in your throat as he releases with a whiny groan. You don’t hesitate to swallow all of it.

The sound Woo makes, along with the sound of you dripping core, push San over the edge. He cums deep into you causing you to cum as well. Milking his cock with every clench of your spasming pussy. “Your pussy feels amazing as always princess” you moan at the dirty praise. San pulls you up so your back meets his chest and kisses you. His tongue entering your mouth, tasting the remnants of Wooyoung’s cum. “You should saved some cum for me. Greedy girl.”

Your make out session was once again interrupted but this time by a whine. Both you and San look at Wooyoung, catching your breaths. “I’m still here too” San chuckles at his pouty husband. “Aww does my babyboy feel left out? Hm?” Wooyoung blushes at the nickname and pout “maybe I do” “come here love”

You and Wooyoung switch places so that he’s in front of San. San takes his chin in between his thumb and index finger and pulls him into a passionate kiss. San licks his bottom lip, asking for entrance which Woo immediately accepts.

They pull away after a while to catch their breath. “Why don’t you clean princess’s juices off my dick” Woo wastes no time getting on his knees on the floor in front of the couch. San sits on the couch and Wooyoung takes his place between his open legs. He admired San's glistening cock and licks his lips. He licks a strip up from his balls to the tip, moaning at the taste of your sweet juices.

He takes San deep into his throat, rolling his eyes back as he gags. “Good boy. You like being daddy’s little cockslut don’t you” Woo pulls off his dick with a pop and looks at him with lustful eyes. “Yes, yes I love it so much daddy, please fuck my face” San grabs Woo by his hair and pushes him back onto his cock. He moans feeling the tightness of Woo’s throat around his tip. San starts his thrusts slow then picks up knowing he can take it. Nothing could be heard except for gags and groans from the two men.

The guys stop for a moment when they hear little whines coming from the side of them. They look over at you, you’re slowly rubbing your swollen clit as your cum filled hole leaks out San's cum. They both groan at the sight. Woo gets up from the floor and back onto the couch. “Sit on my face baby. We can’t let that delicious cum go to waste”

You take your place, hovering over Woo’s face on shaky legs. He pulls you down, your pussy making direct contact with his tongue. He wastes no time sticking his tongue inside and licking out the cum San left behind.

As Woo shows you no mercy, San settles between his legs and takes a freshly lubed fingers and teases Woo’s hole. Wooyoung whimpers into your pussy as he slides 2 fingers into him. He stretches him open as Woo continues to eat you out. When San deemed him stretched enough, he lines himself up and thrust into him all at once, know he loves the pain.

Your moans start to get louder and San pulls you into a kiss to quiet you down. He pulls away and wraps his hand around your neck. “Didn’t Woo tell you to be quiet? If you do that again, I'm telling Woo to stop and I know you both don’t want that.” “Fuck~ no please I’m sorry~! His tongue feels so fucking good please don’t make him stop” He hums at your begs and tightens his grip on your throat “Then shut the fuck up and take it” He pulls you back into a kiss as he speeds up his thrusts into Wooyoung. The office was filled with the sounds of slurping from Wooyoung’s mouth and San’s balls hitting Woo’s ass.

“I’m s-s-so close!” You whine and Woo suddenly stops right before you could reach your peak. You whimper as your high starts to fade. “No no why’d you stop” Woo moves you from his face, panting “I want to feel you cum on my cock. Please baby? I wanna feel you clench me as you cum” you moan at the thought and move off the couch, barely keeping balance. San pulls out briefly so he can flip Woo onto his stomach. You lay on your back on the couch and Woo lines himself up to your pussy. He pushes in with no hesitation and starts thrusting slowly. San lines himself back up to Woo’s hole. Pushing him down so you’re both chest to chest as he begins to thrust into Woo, causing him to thrust into you. You both moan in unison, beginning to make out to keep each other quiet.

San's thrusts pick up, thrusting faster and harder. Woo’s cock hitting deeper into you, kissing your cervix. Both San and Wooyoung’s names leave your mouth at the wonderful pleasure you’re feeling right now. Woo’s own moans and whimpers leave his tongue as well, being in his favorite position. In between the two people he loves more than anything in the world.

“Aww does it feel good Woo? Does it feel good getting attention from both sides?” Wooyoung couldn’t even speak anymore, only whines so he nods instead. “Yeah? I know it feels good cause you’re clenching the fuck out of my dick right now. Mmm such a good boy. My good boy. I know you’re close to cumming, cum for me babyboy.” Woo releases into you with a almost pornographic moan. San pulls out and Woo slows his thrusts starting to feel the overstimulation. “Don’t stop now love, our princess still has to cum” San explains as he slowly strokes himself.

Wooyoung whimpers as he continues to thrust into you, trying his best to fight the sensitivity. You whimper his name as you started to get close again, begging him to go faster. “Please sir I’m so close. Please go fas-” Wooyoung grabs you by your throat again and pounds into you at an inhumane speed. “I’m gonna cum! I’m gonna-” “cum for us baby” you cum hard, Wooyoung following right behind you.

You lay there catching your breath as your highs die down. “You both were so good for me. I think I should give you a reward. On your knees now” you both immediately get to the floor, knowing what was coming (it’s San btw 🤭). He stands facing the both of you and strokes his leaking cock in your faces. You and Woo open your mouth and stick out your tongues with desperate looks, wordlessly asking for San’s cum. He groans as he releases onto both of your faces, some landing into your mouths and you both hum in satisfaction.

When San came down from his high, Wooyoung was the first to start licking your face clean of the sticky liquid. You return the favor. Then Wooyoung pulls you into a kiss passing the cum back and forth between your mouths. “Alright that’s enough. I don’t have energy for another round. Not when I haven’t had food.” San chuckles at his lovers.

You all get cleaned up and back into your clothes. San grabs the folder with the list of potential temporary receptionists and you all head down to the lobby. You walk up to the desk, shit eating grin on your face and your husband right behind you.

“Time to pack up your stuff bitch. You’re done.” The look of shock on her face at your words was priceless. “You both are just going to let her say that to me?” They both shrugged with emotionless faces. “I’d just do what she says, before we have security escort you out.” Wooyoung said sternly. “This is bullshit, I fucking quit” “well you were getting fired anyway so that makes my life easier” San said unamused. She then storms off after grabbing her stuff.

“Ok can we go get food now? I actually did forget my lunch at home and I’d like to eat it” both you and Wooyoung laugh at Sans’s pouty face.

“Ok Sannie let’s go get you some food”

[wawawanwan]

So happy to see this post bc I love these two SO much but it is incredibly hard to find any food for them. So for my fellow starving fans of Uncle Vegeta and nephew Gohan, I want to share my favorite fics of them (also, if you already know these fics or end up reading them and want to talk about them or even Vegeta and Gohan in gen, i am on my hands and knees, PLEASE my dms are open PLEASE TALK ABT THEM WITH ME PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PL)

Anyway, fic list:

Completed:

Cold World By jjgp1112 on Ao3 [Rating: T+, Warning(s): Graphic Violence, MCD || CH(s): 44, Words: 363,613]

Ao3 Summary:

After being kidnapped by Raditz and sent off to space with him, a young Son Gohan must now navigate a world of bloodshed and war under the most ruthless space tyrant in the known galaxy with only the savage Saiyans by his side. Will he be able to survive the unimaginable horrors with his humanity intact?

Personal Notes: One of the most popular fics of these two to my knowledge, but still a fav. Big fan of this part of the fic in particular: >> "I hate you…I hate you, Vegeta!" Gohan screamed in between his feverish strikes. "Is that so?" Vegeta said before striking Gohan down yet again. Before he opened his mouth back up to speak again, he waited for Gohan to stand back up. He didn’t give him a chance to prepare for another attack when he began. “You should . I’d expect nothing less,” Vegeta said. He swung his arm to the door. “I walk through these halls every waking day hating everyone and everything around me.”

This scene is the core of the fic. Vegeta teaches Gohan how to hate. How to use that hatred to keep going. He wants to escape? Fight to make it so. Peak fucked up found family that somehow ends up working out, for better or worse. (Raditz is also there, which is a huge plus.)

Shades of Gray by niteryde on Ao3 [Rating: T+ , Warning(s): Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings || CH(s): 10, Words: 52,453]

Ao3 Summary:

Three years after the Cell games and his father's death, Gohan is having a hard time, physically and emotionally. Bulma decides to ask her husband to help… will her plan work or will Vegeta's involvement only make things worse? Some BV.

Personal notes: a lot more going on than what the summary makes it out to be. Seeing how Vegeta acts with all the halflings (including Goten) is real cute. Two child soldiers with daddy issues bonding.

That is sadly the end of the Completed list, yeah... but I still recommend giving these incomplete/dropped fics a shot, a lot have a bunch written and are really, really, really good.

Incomplete/Dropped:

DBZ: Hope of the Universe (series) by TheFriendlyCritiquer on Ao3 [Rating: , Warning(s): Graphic Violence, Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings (final part) || CH(s): 25/? (Across three parts) , Words: 173,281] Status: Possibly Dropped, last updated: 03 Feb 2024. Updates were fairly frequent and quick in the past according to dates of older comments.

Ao3 Summary:

With an unexpected attack from the androids and an unlucky explosion, refugee Bulma Briefs with her young son Trunks and 14-year old Gohan discover that they have been zapped not only to the past, but to an alternate universe! The universe-hopping trio must now use their power, wits, and skills to survive. Hell is always on their heels, but strangely enough, they find refuge among the not-so-extinct Saiyans. Much to Gohan's distress, and Bulma's delight, he is catapulted to the top of Saiyan society - a society which he views as barbaric and destructive. Through a series of (mis)adventures, explosive battles, and political schemes galore the trio may just find their place in this universe.

Personal Notes: I am so normal for this series/au. I pray that one day it comes back, or at least the author is happy and healthy even if they don't return to writing it. This fic is so peak. Cinema. Planet Vegeta worldbuilding and Saiyan Culture. Saiyan Language, Saiyan tails, including Future Gohan's own tail. As a Super Saiyan, Gohan is seen as the strongest. Future Gohan is 14 here, but so much responsibility keeps getting dumped on him. He is a legend, seen as the strongest, by the Right of The Strong, he could order anyone on Planet Vegeta. He Does Not Want That. At all. To the Saiyans, the Super Saiyan is the legendary, undefeated warrior. The Strongest in the Universe. Gohan has only continuously lost against the Androids. He does not view himself as strong. Gohan also struggles because yes, Frieza is bad, Frieza definitely needs to die, but the Saiyans? They aren't much better, in fact, they're basically the same. Yet he's meant to train the Prince Vegeta to unlock the ssj power too? Also reminder: They're in an alternative universe, the Saiyans didn't go instinct. Things are different. I will let you read to find out what I mean by this. I strongly urge you to read it even if you don't normally read incomplete/dropped fics. I promise you won't regret it. The first three parts of the series are completed.

losers in some ancient war by Derogative on Ao3 [Rating: M, Warning(s): Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings|| CH(s): 4/?, Words: 39,081] Status: Likely Dropped, last updated 22/12/06.

Ao3 Summary:

A story about Gohan, Vegeta, the loss of cultural identity, and living with trauma.

Personal Notes: What the Ao3 summary says. It started post-Cell, when they were both dealing with the loss of Goku. When one was in need of venting dress, they fought. This continues far, far past Cell. Gohan really appreciates how he can express his more Saiyan-like thoughts and frustrations with Vegeta and not receive judgement or fear. Their bond here is incredible. I love it so much. There is so much trust and reliance on each other. Adult Gohan venting to Vegeta is so great. Please, please read this fic. Such a shame that so many banger fics of them get discontinued...

Language by unorthodoxx on Ao3 [Rating: NR, Warning(s): None || CH(s): 2/3, Words: 4,842] Status: Likely Dropped, last updated 2024/11/11 and the gap between the prior ch was not that long.

Ao3 Summary:

Vegeta glares at Gohan’s glowing form, the inconsistent spark of electricity and curses. Court Saladian drips acidic and rusty from his lips before mixing with the low tongue of his people. A bad habit left over from Nappa. The man bastardized the language and had no problem slipping in an uncouth word or two while respecting Vegeta’s pedigree. Gohan lands beside the small crater, myth draining from his hair. “What did you say?” ______ Or Vegeta's a warrior, not a teacher. Gohan wants to learn from him anyway.

There is one more fic similar to this, where Gohan asks Vegeta to teach him Saladian, but Vegeta doesn't want to admit that he doesn't actually remember how to speak it properly because Frieza forbade him from speaking it. All he knows how to do is write it and poorly speak it based off old fuzzy memories. Its really good but I can't find it anywhere and I bookmark everything, literally everything, I read, so I have no idea where it is or what it's name is. Tried finding it manually but alas. It lives on only in my memory.

thinking about gohan and vegeta and how their bond is underrated

the difference in their reactions to each other 😭

Gohan being the first one to step between Vegeta and Certain Death, twice, without an ounce of hesitation, and Vegeta saving him back despite his feelings about battle intervention.

Vegeta knowing Gohan's the best of all of them

Vegeta and Gohan both born prodigies assigned an unfair amount of responsibility to be Great and be a Saiyan Messiah(tm) way too young by a stubborn and proud if not (relatively) well-meaning father who didn't see any other option and I just think Gohan doesn't get enough credit as like. The first serious muscle behind Geets' personal growth.

[cherry-coffees]

dhampir!Caitlyn thoughts

cw: 18+ mdni, mentions of blood, Caitlyn's half-human half-vampire

Thinking about you and dhampir!Caitlyn and how respectful she'd be. She'd never take blood from you — she worries for you too much.

On the other hand...

She knows that your blood would be the sweetest thing she's ever tasted. She knows that she'd want to drink from you every night, gently sucking on your neck before she'd move her lips down your body. She knows that she'd be addicted from the second it touches her lips.

That's the issue, though. She wants it too badly. Caitlyn wouldn't be able to tear herself away from you, and since you're a mortal human, you can't lose too much blood. She wouldn't ever risk the health of her sweet darling.

Until one day when you accidentally cut your finger chopping something. You hiss, wincing as you see small drops of blood on your finger. It's nothing big, but Caitlyn's enhanced sense of smell can detect it from the other side of the kitchen.

She turns to you, eyes locked onto your finger as you examine it. "Cait, do you know where the band-aids—?" you start, but you cut yourself off when you notice her stare.

"Cait?"

"What?" Caitlyn blinks slowly. "Oh, right. I can grab one."

So she does. She grabs one from the small box in her bathroom upstairs before heading back down to the kitchen. She lifts your hand, tearing the packaging off the band-aid in preparation to wrap around your finger.

But before she can do so, you smile. Your doe eyes peer up at her almost innocently, though your smile tells a different story. "Don't you want to—?"

Oh.

Caitlyn swallows back her instincts. "Yes," she breathes. "Can I please?"

"Of course, love. Whatever you need."

OR how dhampir!Caitlyn has a ridiculous amount of stamina. She's half human, so she can sleep during the night and be awake during the day like normal, but she has a lot more energy than a mortal human does.

So she's completely fine when you're an hour into sex. You've come three times, whimpering as she presses a thumb against your aching clit. "Oh— Oh, Caitlyn! Wha— How are you still going?"

Caitlyn just hums, her lips finding your pulse point and sucking it into her mouth. "Just relax, darling. Let me make you feel good," she murmurs, cooing sweet praises as you whimper and come around her fingers yet again.

Spending most of my time on my kpop idol!Caitlyn fic that's coming soon! It's going to be SUPER long, so take this drabble for now!

~Cherry 🍒

[miniwheat77]

No fun. (Captain Price x Reader.)

!nsfw, smut, p in v sex, reader dealing with a crisis, unprotected sex, alcohol, choking, talk of suicide. NO MINORS!

Please enjoy the shit show I’m going through, happy birthday to me or whatever.

They only want you when you’re seventeen. When you’re twenty-one, you’re no fun…

Eyes glossed over, world spinning. This is normal.

This is completely normal, most people spend their birthday sitting at a dingy bar, on their fifth glass of the cheapest liquor they have. Oh who are you kidding…

You had dried blood on your knuckles, underneath your black jacket was a blood stained shirt. It was a mix of your blood and whoever else’s after the mission you’d been on. It didn’t go so well and you’d been beat and slashed but it was a better way to spend your birthday than how you’d originally planned it. Though you expected someone to notice what day it was. Everyone always remembered birthdays, even last year on leave you got a text from Johnny at least.

But after she joined the base, you rarely if ever heard from any of them anymore. A new recruit, freshly out of boot camp. She was only on base for a few short months before they shipped her off somewhere else but she’d grasped the attention of the entire task force.

You weren’t jealous or angry. You actually quite liked the girl. She had her head screwed on straight for being so young and that’s what the military needed.

It was the nostalgia that killed you. You missed being a teenager. You miss the innocence that came with not being battle hardened. You missed when people showed interest and now, you were getting older and people wanted maturity. You missed the high school flings, breaking the rules. But here you were. Where you always seemed to be anymore.

Tipping back another glass of Jameson.

Most days you spent hungover. Sick to your stomach and you skipped meals like crazy but who really even gave a damn. They saw it but they didn’t ask. The abnormally pale skin, weight loss. More specifically, the shaky hands when you chugged coffee in the mornings to hide the liquor on your breath.

It was part of the military, who cares. They sure as hell didn’t. They only cared about themselves and that girl.

It didn’t end. Falling into bed shitfaced, eyes full of tears as you thought about the fact that there was no end in sight of this suffering. Only a black hole, sucking you deeper and deeper until you bottomed out and gave in. Either to the voice in the back of your head telling you to end it all, or to the addiction that slowly consumed you. At this point? You didn’t care anymore. Who would’ve guessed that your mid-to-late twenties held more staggered walks home from the bar than random hookups or a baby on the way like everyone else at this age.

Your lip was split, cheek was slashed. Busted knuckles clutched a bottle as you sat on the sidewalk and ignored the way you felt. And that was it.

Happy Birthday Y/N.

Captain Price was looking for you. He always checked up on people after missions and you’d taken a particularly bad beating but you didn’t really seem to care.

Captain Price had all but watched the spark burn out in your eyes. Something he hated but was rather familiar with. The military did things to people. He couldn’t find you anywhere, which made him worry. “Has anyone seen Y/N?” He asks. The young girl bites her lip. Looking away quickly and he notices immediately. “What is it?”

“Think she’s at the bar again Captain…” she trails off. “What? Y/N never goes to the bar.”

She looks utterly shocked. “Than we clearly don’t know the same Y/N.” She mumbles. “What?”

“She’s been at the bar every single night for the last few months. I didn’t want to say anything but I’m getting rather worried.” He thinks to himself. Had he noticed anything off about you? “That doesn’t sound like Y/N at all.” He mumbles. “That’s the truth. She’s got all the tale tell signs too. Pale, shaky, doesn’t eat. I mean she comes in late all the time. I’ve asked her a few times how she’s doing but she just brushes me off with an ‘I’m fine’ and goes on with her day. I mean��� Y/N is insane on the field and that guy nearly took her head off with a knife today.”

Captain Price’s stomach drops. The spark in your eyes really was fading. Your love for the field was dissipating rather quickly and he’d missed it. All of it. He looks down, confused. He walks away without another word, to his office. You’d been struggling this bad and he’d never noticed it before? Who went to the bar after such a bad mission anyways? As bad as you’d been hurt, you should be recovering in the infirmary. That’s where he went to check on you, where you said you’d be. You must’ve slipped out then. He opens your file on his computer, seeing the photo that had been on that folder for years now. You smiled so wide. He’d hate to see how unhappy your next photo would be.

Y/N Y/L/N

DOB: xx-xx-xxxx

Something felt off about that… the numbers on the screen.

He glances down to the corner of the computer, reading the exact date.

Nine o’clock.

He stands up, nearly shoving his desk over as he hurries. He grabs his jacket, rushing for the door. “In a hurry, cap?” Soap smiles. “Yeah. It’s Y/N’s fucking birthday and we forgot.”

The look of horror on Gaz and Soap should’ve been something you’d laugh about usually. But you wouldn’t have been interested, not anymore.

Your mind races as you look down at the rushing water, how good it would feel rushing over your injured skin. Carrying your lifeless body down a rapid current, pulling you under. The buzzing, floating. It sounded like peace. Like an end to whatever this is. You don’t remember walking here. You thought when you woke up this morning to your Captain calling each of you for a last minute mission that it was a surprise party. They’d given her one.. the new girl. She had balloons and so many gifts from the task force you’d lost count. You’d gotten her a set of customized grips for her sidearm. She was ecstatic.

You got nothing in return.

Your hands shook violently as you held them over the rapid flowing water. You were so close now that it misted your shaking hands. You were so close…

It was so cold. It won’t be long now.

The five of them rushed into the bar, nearly knocking over barstools and a rack of pool cues as they went. Rushing up to the bartender. “Have you seen this girl?” Captain Price asks in a hurry. Holding up a photo of you. “Y/N? Yeah. Like every night for the last few months.” The young guy behind the counter smiles. “Have you seen her tonight?” He asks. “Of course I have, she just left bout twenty minutes ago. Although tonight she looked rough. You guys must be her military buddies. When she first started coming in she talked about you guys all the time.” He smiles. “Although these days she keeps to herself.” He mumbles. “Anyways. I’m not supposed to tell anyone but when she leaves here, she buys a bottle of Jack and goes for a walk, tonight she said the bridge over the river.”

Captain Price’s stomach drops. “You let her leave with alcohol? Isn’t that against the law?” Ghost asks, angrily. The guy smiles. “You’d have to have seen her these last couple weeks to understand. Poor girl is really going through it.” He looks sympathetic. He scoffs, turning his back. “I’ll stay here in case she comes back. You guys go.” The young girl nods.

They hurried back out into the pouring rain, piling into Captain Price’s truck and he speeds down the road to get to the bridge, only hoping things weren’t as bad as they seemed.

You’d staggered your way back up the bank to the bridge. You were soaked head to toe and you sat on the brick railing of the old bridge. Who knows, maybe the old thing would give way and you’d die in a terrible accident.

Your feet swung back and forth as you tipped the bottle of Jack back. It didn’t burn anymore. You were too hammered to taste anything. Your jacket was sopping wet, not providing any warmth anymore. You dreaded going back to that base. Having to look them in the eyes and pretend as if nothing is wrong when everything so clearly was. You’d tried so hard to talk about your feelings to anyone who’d listen but they wouldn’t. Even Laswell had shrugged you off when you’d mentioned to her how bad these days have been. It was a “chin up, you’re just tired.”

You are tired. So… so tired. You wiped your mouth, another set of headlights illuminated the bridge behind you. But nobody stopped.

You didn’t expect them too. You were just a lonely person dressed in black. Contemplating the depth. How many feet was it you think? One-hundred feet? One-fifty? Not too bad anyways…

Your eyes barely stayed open, everything was so blurry but the rush of the rapid river was so peaceful. You tilt your head back and let that spinning feeling wind you up. It usually made you sick, but tonight felt different.

“I’m such a bad fucking Captain.” He shakes his head, mumbling angry to himself. “Captain you can’t blame yourself. She hasn’t asked for help, she hasn’t confided in anyone.” Soap mumbles. “How are we supposed to know if she doesn’t tell us?”

“She has been trying to tell us. For weeks now. Even Laswell brought up how Y/N had come to her about a few bad days. I thought nothing of it. I swear if she’s jumped…” he hisses. “I should have noticed. She was in my office talking to me everyday for a week and it was so out of the ordinary for her and I just sat there doing my work, ignoring her. And forgetting her birthday…” he trails off. Everyone in the truck feels shame. “I’ve noticed it too. The shaky hands and late nights. I just thought maybe the work was getting to her.” Ghost mumbles.

Captain Price is nearly there, speeding to get to you.

You had tiny rocks, from when you’d slipped down the bank. Dropping one of them every so often and counting how long it takes before it hits the water. It was getting rather hard to see with the darkness surrounding you. Besides, you were heavier than a little rock, surely you’d hit the water faster than that.

Headlights lit up your back this time, only now, you heard the tires on the wet pavement coming to a stop behind you. Some bystander coming to play hero most likely. Maybe you’d entertain it so they’d leave you alone. “Thank you sir or ma’am. I don’t want to kill myself anymore!” You smile at the joke.

“Y/N?” You hear his deep voice call from behind you, your stomach falls. You didn’t want anyone to see you like this. You stay quiet, hoping they’d think it was someone else. You hear his footsteps getting louder as they approach. Course it’d be your Captain no less.

“Trying to kill yourself? We can’t have that. You’re discharged!”

You smile to yourself again. Head spinning. “Y/N. Darling?” His steps have slowed and you turn to look at him. “You don’t have to be all gentle, sir. I’m not going to jump if you get too close.” You give him a lazy smile and that’s when he knows it’s bad. Really fucking bad.

“You’re supposed to be in the infirmary. Healing.” He mumbles. “I did go. That was hours and hours ago, sir.” You mumble. “Bandaged my arm.” You hold it up. The bandage was completely ruined with water. “I stuck my hand in the river, wasn’t thinking and got it all wet.” Your voice is slurred. “You.. you were down there?” He asks. “Mhm. I go down there all the time. Good fishing in the summertime I hear, sometimes I see the fishermen. I’ve talked to a few of em.” You move to tilt the bottle back for another swig but he grasps it, pulling it away. “Think that’s enough. It’s time to go.” He mumbles. “Don’t think so, Cap.” You mumble. Sniffling. He watches you drop another pebble between your feet, whistling as it descends to the water. He can clearly see what you’re doing. “Y/N…” he mumbles. “We.. we forgot your birthday.” He mumbles. You laugh. “That’s okay, I hoped everyone would. I mean I’m at the age they don’t really matter anymore, anyways.” It stings.

“That’s not true Y/N. You’re young. Too young for this. Please get down.” He breathes. He’s got a tight hold on your shirt that you didn’t realize he’d had at first. You spin around, rolling over the railing and facing him. You smile. He can tell you’re about to say some fucked up stuff just from looking at you. “You know.. I had this.. whole thing. Every-“ you hiccup. “Everything I’d say. If I ever found myself like this. I told myself I’d go to you and I’d say “Captain Price. I’m really struggling and I need help. And you know what I got?” You smile.

“You wouldn’t want to be like your dad, would you Y/N?”

Captain Price forgot that he’d said it. He knew about your past with your dad and everything you’d gone through as a kid and why you were so tough on the outside. He doesn’t know why he said it. Your presence was bothering him that day because he was just trying to get his work done.

“Oh he’d be proud wouldn’t he.” Your lip quivers and your smile falters. “I am young. Too old to live, too young to die.” You mumble. “If it’s okay, I’d like to walk back to base. Don’t think you want to leave your truck there.” You look at it. Spotting a pale white skeleton mask through the slightly tinted window. “Ah shit.. you brought everyone. That’s great.” You mumble. “I’ll start back.” You push past him, staggering down the sidewalk.

He rushes across the street, pulling the back door open. “There’s a coat back there, hand it to me.”

“Is she okay?”

“No. Far from it.”

Ghost hands him the jacket. “I’m going to walk with her, drive my truck back to base please.” He mumbles. You hear his quick footsteps behind you. Sighing. “Here.” He passes you the coat and you take it with hesitation. “I’m already soaked sir.” You mumble. “I don’t care.” He says. “How much longer do I have?” You ask. He looks confused. “What are you talking about?” He asks. “Surely I’m off your task force for this. How long?”

His heart shatters to pieces. How little do you think he cares about you?

He pushes you back into an alleyway, off of the main road and underneath the edge of the roof to keep you out of the rain. “Swap your jacket, go on.” He mumbles. Holding his hand out. You sigh, shedding the soaked jacket. “I’m not going to remove you from my task force for something we all go through Y/N. It’s a bad day, not a bad life.” He mumbles. “It’s been a bad few months, Captain.” You mumble. He sighs. “I know Y/N… I know.” He mumbles. “It’s going to be okay. Come on.” He mumbles. The walk back to base is slow you seem to be dreading the return. Captain price has never felt so poorly before. He had missed so much, look at you.

When you finally make it back, the concrete entrance coming into view, he stops you. “Listen. We’ve got a lot to work on okay? And you’re far from sober now. So I’ll come find you tomorrow. Go in and go to bed okay?” You nod your head. He makes sure you’re in your room. It doesn’t take you long to pass out but John waits outside your room to make sure you actually stay inside.

The next morning, you wake up. And something is off.

You wake up completely sober with a massive headache, which can only mean one thing. You’d overslept.

You dart out of bed, snagging your phone and seeing the clock read 11:00. You were usually up at 5:00 every morning. You scrambled to get dressed, struggling your hardest since this is the most sober you’ve been in weeks. You reach for the door handle, and that’s when you freeze. The events from the previous night come flooding back to you. Not only were you most likely already on thin ice with your Captain, but now you’d slept in late. You were furious with yourself. You rip the door open and head straight for his office. You open the door, not bothering to knock and walk straight in. You see her sitting in front of desk and want to scream, you probably look like hell. “Ah. Y/N.” He smiles. “Was just getting ready to come find you.” He goes to stand. “Uh.. yeah. Sorry sir, my alarm didn’t wake me up like usual, I’m not sure what happened.” Your hands shake, you look pale. He worries the moment he’s got eyes on you.

“It’s okay. I went in and turned it off, I figured you’d need the sleep. We were just finishing up, take a seat.”

“I can come back another time-“

“No, we were just going over her discharge.”

You look concerned. “Excuse me- discharge?”

“Yeah.. it’s not going to work out with her here.”

“Well obviously there’s not enough work to go around but she shouldn’t be discharged, brought to another base maybe but she’s rather good-“

“Y/N.” She laughs, getting your attention.

“I’m pregnant.” She laughs. Your eyes widen. “Shit.” You sigh. “I mean shit- that’s exciting. That sounded horrible. I’m sorry.” You mumble. Sitting down.

“Thanks, I know what you meant. We decided it be best before I get in too deep here you know?” She smiles sadly. “Yeah.. yeah I guess so. Your kid deserves a mom and that’s not guaranteed in this line of work. You’re making a good choice.” You mumble. She smiles. “Thank you Y/N.”

Captain Price smiles. Despite how fucking bad you were struggling you still cared so much for those around you. But he’s saddened by the fact that on two ends of the spectrums, your lives had severely changed. You were an alcoholic bordering rehab and she was pregnant, giving up her career. It was fucked up.

“Oh. And I got you this, I totally had your birthday mixed up with someone else’s- I’m really sorry.” She passes you a box. “I’ll be going now though, planes leaving here in about thirty. Thanks for having me.” She says her goodbyes and exits through the door. You look sadly down at the box she’d given you.

“Why’d you let me sleep in?” You ask. “Because I’m willing to bet good money that’s the most sleep you’ve had in weeks, no?” He smiles.

You nod. “But uh.. you’re not gonna like what I have to say.” He sighs, sitting down in the chair that she had just left, right next to you rather than across his desk from you. You swallow hard, nodding your head. “I want you sober in no less than a week. If you can’t do that, I’m shipping you off my base and to a rehabilitation facility. Am I clear?” You nod your head. “Yes sir.”

“Good. Now that that’s squared. We need to talk.”

You sigh. “Can we just skip this part and go to me being sober?” You look sadly. He laughs. “No. You scared the shit out of the entire task force last night. What’s been going on?” He asks. You sigh.

“To be honest? I don’t know.” You mumble. “The biggest thing is like.. I guess I thought I’d just have done more by this age. You know? A family? Kids? A sugar daddy at least?” It takes him off guard and he laughs a bit. “Christ, you haven’t changed a bit.” He rolls his eyes. You smile. “I just feel disappointed in myself, and seeing her really made me realize what a failure I’ve been. I’ve done all of this work and have nothing to show for it. I thought I’d made a bigger impact on everyone yknow? And then everyone forgets my birthday and it’s just like.. it was just a punch in the gut.” You sigh.

He sighs. “Us forgetting your birthday is no excuse. Time slipped our minds and then the mission. I made a huge distraction for everyone, if you’re gonna blame anyone, blame me. I didn’t even realize what day it was until last night when I sat down for just a second and saw the date.” He mumbles. “I don’t blame anyone sir. It’s not that big of a deal of course, I guess I just thought I was more important than I am.”

It stings.

“Y/N.. that’s not true okay? You are important to us. Yesterday on the mission and last night, you gave all of us a really good scare. Which reminds me, we need to be on our way to the infirmary to get you looked at.” He mumbles. He rests his hand on your thigh. “It was shitty of us to forget. We will make up for it, I promise. But for now? We’ve got to get you back on track.” He runs his hand back and forth. “You shouldn’t be disappointed in yourself either. It’s not too late to start a family, and now you’ve got a solid career for yourself. You could easily slip back into a desk job and never see the field again if you decided to have a family.”

“Though I will be really sad because you are one of the most skilled soldiers I’ve ever seen, that’s why you’re on this task force.” He laughs. You smile.

He stands up and helps you up. The both of you making your way to the infirmary where you get checked out and re-bandaged. The next week you’re on the road to being sober again.

The guys don’t say too much to you, which hurts you beyond repair. It makes you wonder if staying on this base is worth it. You seemed so close to them for so long and now?

It’s how it seemed anyways, until day 7.

You were on day 3 with absolutely no alcohol and it was getting easier. The first couple days were hell, but now it felt just like you were back into your same old routine. It was Sunday and you slept in longer than intended but eventually crept out of your room into the mess hall. You gathered your breakfast and sat down at a table and began eating by yourself.

You were fine until the four of them appeared. But they weren’t getting breakfast which was unusual. They approach your table, each of them carrying grocery bags. You looked up from your toast, confused. “Uh.. something wrong?”

“No, actually. We’re happy to see you eating real breakfast rather than pounding coffee with shaky hands.” Ghost chuckles, seeing you smile. “Yeah, well. I keep everyone on their toes it’s what I do. What’s with the grocery bags?” You bite into your toast, looking at them. “Ready?” Johnny looks at Ghost than back to Gaz. “Ready.” The four lift their bags and dump them onto the table. You watch candy and all sorts of stuff fall from the bags onto the table. Captain Price sets a six pack of non-alcoholic beer on the table. You laugh. “That’s funny Captain, really. Might just be my 13th reason but a good one.”

He rolls his eyes. “What is all of this?”

“All our favorite candy cause we’re gonna sit here today and we’re gonna catch up, cause we’ve clearly missed so much.”

“Ah- yes. My birthday included.” You take another bite of your toast, seeing them all flinch. “Yeah- well. We’re idiots what do you expect. Besides, we had this big huge plan made up this year and lost track of time so you’ll have to wait until next year. But anyways, here’s your stuff. Stop talking back.” Johnny shoves the pile of your favorite candy toward you. “Awe! You got me gummy life savers I haven’t had those since I was a kid!” You pick them up, looking at them. He rolls his eyes. “I know, you told me about it on our mission to Iran. Same with The… pixie sticks? Gummy sharks? And uhhh.. gaz said something about gummy frogs.” He pushes them all toward you.

You felt like crying.

Even though these assholes forgot your birthday. They remembered the little things.

You swallow hard. “That’s uh.. that’s really sweet.” You set your toast down. Your eyes zero in on the candy, and you feel the biggest breakdown of your life coming on. You feel so guilty. “Y/N?” Captain Price rests his hand on your shoulder. “Y/N, are you alright? Can you hear me?” You look up at him, standing up. But he wasn’t going to let you go this time.

“Hey- it’s okay. We know how you feel and there’s nothing wrong with it okay? Just try to relax.” You nod your head, tears stream down your cheeks and you look away from them. You don’t want them to see you like this. “Sorry- it’s been a rough few months.” You clear your throat, wiping your eyes furiously with the sleeve of your shirt. “It’s alright. We’re all here for you Y/N. You scared us.” Gaz mumbles. You nod your head. Your nose goes red, as it always did when you got upset. And you sat silent for a while with tears spilling over your eyes as the five shared a normal conversation, waiting for you to calm down. There was a long road of healing needed to be done for you, but you’d be alright.

And you’d have your brothers along for the bumpy ride.

———

The sound of your door knob jiggling makes you scramble to hide what you’re holding. Shoving it under a blanket and sitting on top to secure it.

Captain Price gives you a look, letting you know that he’s just seen it and crosses his arms after shutting the door behind you. “What is it?” He asks. “It’s- it’s nothing sir.” You feel your face going hot but he doesn’t see it. “Y/N. Tell me what it is. Is it alcohol?” He asks. “What? No. I told you- I’m sober.” You swallow hard. He narrows his eyes. “Well. I told you. I’m checking your room weekly and that’s why I’m here. So give it up.” He crosses his arms, moving in closer. “Sir-“ he sighs, moving toward you and pushing you away. “Please Captain- you have to believe me. It’s not alcohol I’m telling yo-“ he draws your blanket back and when he sees it, he can’t help the crimson running up his cheeks and his earlobes.

A little pink bullet vibrator. “Hm.. okay.” He laughs to himself, covering it back up with your blanket. “Before I search the rest of your room- is there anything else like that I might find?” He turns to look at you, seeing the look of pure embarrassment on your face. “N-no sir.” You swallow hard. “I’m usually on top of hiding it but I forgot you were checking tonight and I was us-“ your eyes widen in horror. “I lost track of time.” You swallow. He turns away from you to smirk, not wanting to embarrass you further. “I believe you. Step out for a moment?” He laughs. “Yes sir.” You rush out the door. You could crawl into a hole and die.

He usually sent you out when he searched, but you’d been good. No alcohol at all, you’d been sober and on the road to healing. With a little help from your pink friend when things got extra tough.

You’re sitting outside your door reading a magazine when he reappears, opening the door and leaning on the frame. “I’m impressed. Not even a drop.” He laughs. “Told you sir, I’m sober.”

“I know, I can tell. But we’re going to keep doing this. Least for a while.” He laughs. “I understand sir.” You blush, looking down. “Y/N- I gotta ask.” He mumbles. You turn and look up at him as he leans against the door frame. Hovering over you slightly since you’d sat just outside the door. “Hm?”

“What’s the reason behind you not being married with kids already?” He asks. You chew at your lip. Thinking over an answer. “To be honest? I don’t know. I’ve never clicked with anyone, let alone gotten far enough into a relationship to even discuss the topic of kids.” You mumble. He nods his head. “You have to cut men some slack, who are we to compete with this?”

You shoot out of your seat, eyes wide as he holds up your vibrator. “Captain!”

“Y/N.” He says your name steadily with a smile.

“I’m wondering if it’s the booze I should worry about, or this?” He smirks. Seeing you narrow your eyes. “Yeah well. If you confiscate that one, can you at least return it with new batteries? Those ones are going dead.” You smirk. He raises his eyebrows. “If I’m not mistaken, I think you’re trying to flirt with me.” He moves from the door, stepping in front of you. He crosses his arms. You lower your voice, taken aback by what he’s saying. “And I think you’re the one holding my vibrator.”

He smirks. He’s moved closer, his face merely inches from yours. “Never cared enough to ask about a boyfriend or kids before Captain, what are you getting at exactly hm?” Your eyes are dark, voice is low and sultry. Never in a million years did you think this would be happening.

Captain Price? And you? Come on.

He bites at his lip. “Go into your room Sergeant.”

“Yes sir.” You step to the side, walking into your room and spinning around as he follows you. He closes the door behind himself.

When it’s locked, he’s stepping toward you quickly, backing you up a few steps as he moves closer. “I’m not reading this wrong, am I?” He asks. He’s got a beanie on. Jeans and a black jacket. You look up through your eyelashes at him, eyes snapping to his and locking eye contact with him. A look in your eyes he’s definitely never seen before. “No.”

“Good.”

He smashes his lips to yours, kissing you deep and passionate. It’s sloppy, teeth knocking into each other. It’s something the both of you have needed for far too long now. Someone to just get lost in.

He cups your jaw, fingers locking at the nape of your neck and he pulls you closer, kissing deep and hard.

When he draws away, you’re in a daze. You’ve never been kissed like that before. Your fingertips feel numb.

Numbness starts at your fingers and moves up your arms, down into your toes. You’re frozen in the spot until he’s pushing you back into your bed. He parts your legs, pushing himself up against you and rocking his hips into yours. He kisses you again and you moan into his mouth as he grinds up against you. His cock is hard and you can feel it through your soft sweatpants. Ironically, a pair he’d bought you a few weeks before when you were having a particularly rough night.

He’d spent countless nights holding your hair back for you as you threw up from the withdrawals. Shaky and sweaty, sobbing your heart out. You thought you couldn’t look worse to him.

Now here he is, about to fuck you raw on a metal cot in your room.

He nudges the striped sweatpants down your legs, feeling how soft they are on his skin. He gets his jacket and shirt off, not even bothering with his jeans. Once the both of you are unclothed just enough to get his cock inside you, he’s notching his tip at your entrance and sinking into you. You gasp and he cuts it off with a kiss. Drawing back and thrusting fast back inside. You’re wet and he slides easy, feeling how warm and soft you feel around him. “Fuck you’re tight-“ he hisses.

Words you NEVER expected to hear out of your Captains mouth.

Who would have thought you’d love them so much, anyways?

Your legs shiver from his rough pace. He’s relentless with his thrusts. Holding your thighs up and thrusting deeper. Keeping your eyes locked to his when he’s not kissing you. He forces you to focus on him as he fucks you deep.

“I think I get it now.” He draws back, raising himself up onto his knees, still thrusting but not as hard. “W-what?”

You tilt your head back and close your eyes. Waiting for an answer. You gasp when he presses the vibrator against your clit. Slowing his thrusts and fucking you deep as he holds it there. You look down for a second, seeing his hands on you. It hits you like a freight train what’s happening. Your eyes snap straight to his in a heated stare and chills run down his spine. The way you look at him always has him on edge. You had a harsh look about you sometimes.

“S’not supposed to be competition.” He smirks. You can’t help but laugh. “You’re ridiculous.”

He chuckles. He lays over you once more to kiss you. Pushing your legs up further into you and sliding deeper. He keeps the vibrator pressed into you. “Can you stay quiet?” He asks. “Yes sir-“ you shiver slightly at his tone of voice.

“Good. Deep breath now, you’re going to need it.”

He clamps his hand around your throat, taking your oxygen away as he hammers his hips into yours. You clutch your eyes shut, trying to swallow but you can’t. You feel the pins and needles in your face from your lack of oxygen but the intensity from the pleasure you feel takes over. You can barely hear him.

“Cum for me. Go on sweetheart.”

You grit your teeth. Your whole body feels numb except for that one spot.

You try to cry out but can’t, reaching your peak in silence as black pin pricks fill your vision. You shake and twitch, walls throbbing hard around him. You try to draw away from the vibrator but he draws it back. He finally lets go of your throat and you gasp in air just as he finishes with a groan. Clenching his eyes shut. You take a few seconds to breath, brain no longer foggy as you look at him.

It’s the best sex you’ve ever had by far.

Your chest moves up and down as you breathe hard. He takes his bottom lip between his teeth.

He draws back, standing up. The reality of what he’s just done hits him hard. The two of you had just had sex. On base. And he’s your captain and you’re a sergeant on his task force.

He can’t help but smile.

“You alright?” He asks. “Y-yeah. Mhm.” You look up at him, cheeks on fire. “Not how I saw my night going at all but I’m fine.” You laugh softly. “Yeah.. me neither. It’s your fault really, you’re a temptress.” He barely finishes his sentence before you’re slapping his shoulder. He can’t help but laugh. “Hey- I got you something, actually.” He mumbles. “What?”

“I’ll be right back.” He stands up, getting redressed quickly and exiting through your door. You take the time to get redressed and cleaned up. Fixing your messed up hair and sitting down. You pick the magazine up once more, reading through it. He’s gone for a few minutes before reappearing. He sits on your bed in front of you, holding out a little black box. “What’s this for?”

“I saw something like it and thought of you.”

You look confused as you open it, drawing out the little gold necklace. It’s an old dried clover pressed between two tiny thin pieces of glass, turned into a keychain. A keepsake pendant.

“But I don’t think I understand.” You look confused. He smiles. He looks at his watch, reading that it’s past midnight. “Well, I meant to give it to you tomorrow but since it’s midnight.” He laughs. “Today technically marks three years since I recruited you for my task force. The day we officially met each other and you joined the base. You beat me to the base and didn’t have much to do that day so you spent it outside. We were on our way back from a mission. You found a four leaf clover in the grass and when I arrived I saw you waiting outside. I introduced myself and you said “hi, I’m Y/N. It’s nice to meet you.” And passed me the clover and said “it’s a good luck charm. With me here, you’re gonna need it.” He smiles. You smile down at it. “You.. kept it?”

“Of course I kept it.” He laughs. “I figured you’d have just thrown it away. That’s.. that’s really sweet John.”

The use of his first name takes him off guard.

“Yeah well. You’re a really sweet girl who deserves better than this but I’m not too thoughtful.”

“That’s such a lie. This is the most thoughtful gift I’ve ever gotten.” You look up at him. He laughs.

“I uh.. hope this won’t be the last encounter like this with you.”

“Hm?”

“I’d like to take you out on a date. A real date. If you’re okay with it. I know I’m a lot older than you.”

“I would love that, Captain.” You smile. “Thanks for being here for me these last few weeks.”

“I would never leave you hanging. I hope you know that.” He grasps your hand, taking it into his. “You’re doing really good and I’m proud of you. And I’m sorry for what I’ve said to you.”

“Thank you.”

“What are you going to put it on?” He asks. You think for a second.

“I’m thinking my vest.”

“I think that’s a good idea.”