#college is lowkey beating my ass

[gingergari]

we are pretending i finished the @paper-mario-zine gijinka prompt on time 😇

second part of my series first done here!

bonus: and…mario…?

[sundreary]

they watched tf one on the plane with me : )

[yndrgrl]

bullies! kiribaku x reader headcannons <3

headcannons for your azz. fem! reader. soft! yandere, hardcore! fuckers. college! au.

warnings: nsfw, threesome!!, degrading, praise, blackmail, sending pics, possessive, lowkey cnc???

a/n: so i originally had this as a long one shot, but i ended up straying too far away from the actual "bully" trope, so this is just to reel it back & get my thoughts all in one place :) lemme know if i should make this a longer fic !

-

✩ bullies! kiribaku were notorious around campus; if you came across them, know not to look into their eyes, keep your head down, & do whatever they say. those are the rules when you see the duo wandering around.

★ they were shocked when, while bullying one of the pricks that decided to spread rumors about them, you appeared out of nowhere. you shoved bakugo off of the shaking boy & put your body between them & their victim. "what the hell do you think you're doing!?" you shouted at them. you put on your bravest face & puffed out your chest. they've seen you around before, always silently admiring from afar until now.

✩ their first thought was, "how stupid is this chick?" they were -at least- twice your size & could scoop you up with one hand. then they took you in; you were ethereal, like a guardian angel sent from the pearly heaven above. kirishima looked at bakugo, & bakugo glanced at him. kirishima gave him a fang-filled grin. they were nothing more than demons who were feigning for a chance to taint your sweet charm.

★ bakugo, expressionless, responded, "what does it look like? i'm teaching this little asshole a lesson-" you cut him off with your hands clenched in a white-tight fist, "you're pathetic! picking on someone so much smaller than you, have some fuckin' self-respect." god, you were irresistible, they thought.

✩ kirishima, who is nothing but an instigator, snickered & whispered in the blonde's ear, "i think she's the one we have to teach a lesson to, don't you think?"

★ kirishima turned towards you, his grin would've been unnerving given any other circumstance. his sharp teeth were on full display as he teased, "well aren't you a good samaritan? it makes me wonder how far you'll go to stop us."

✩ "i'll do anything! you people make me sick," you shouted at them, & that's when the realization sunk in. shit... you've made a mistake.

★ the guy you were so-desperately trying to defend was just a coward who ran away without looking back. now you were in the hot seat, & your heartbeat was thumping in your ears. it felt like there was a drum in your head. adrenaline was flowing through your veins. you swallowed the lump in your throat. they were just staring at you with their sharp ruby eyes, piercing straight through your facade. "so what now? gonna beat up a girl 'cuz you have nothing better to do?"

✩ everything after that was a blur. you somehow ended up in their shared dorm, your throat fucked by kirishima & your pussy filled with bakugo. tears streamed down your face as you felt a whiplash of emotions all at once. they were such assholes, but, god, you felt so good. while kirishima sang you praises, bakugo gripped you so tightly, spanking your red-flushed ass. "you like that, huh? dumb slut," bakugo growled. he kept thrusting in & out of your dripping hole harshly. you hummed in disagreement, but it only made kirishima fuck your throat more.

★ "aww, bakubro, be nice to her. she's being so good f' us," purred kirishima, it seemed like he was on your side, but the tight grasp he had on your hair told you otherwise.

✩ by hour two, your pussy was still stuffed, this time with kirishima. a mixture of your climax & both mens' cum seeped out of your overstimulated hole. you sat in kirishima's lap, bouncing yourself on his thick cock reverse-cowgirl style. bakugo flooded your mouth with his cum, & he demanded, "don't fuckin' swallow, got it?"

★ he pulled out of your mouth, & you listened. your obedience didn't go unnoticed because, while bakugo went to go fish his phone out of his pants that were on the hardwood floor, kirishima groaned, "so perfect, you know that, don't you? just such a good girl, takin' us so well. you're too pretty for your own good, we're just gonna keep you to ourselves~ you'll be ours, won't you, sweetheart?" you were lost in foggy pleasure, so you nodded your droopy head.

✩ bakugo came back & held your chin. his touch was gentle for the first time. he guided your face to look up at him with your pretty, teary eyes. his phone camera was pointed at you. "open up, angel," he said, stroking your lip with his thumb. he was so soft spoken that it shocked you & kirishima, you felt obligated to listen. he was so sweet all of a sudden. you opened your mouth, his hot, white load dripping onto his wrist. he snapped a picture then told you to swallow & clean him off.

★ "you got him all pussy-whipped, (y/n). can't really blame him though. you're too good~" that night, an arrangement was made. bakugo's gentleness must've run out because, when you went back to your dorm, you received an image from an unknown number, the caption read, "if you know what's good for you, you'll listen to us."

✩ bullies! kiribaku who are so intimidating that they somehow got you, the campus' fire cracker, to not only turn a blind eye to their antics but also do their bidding. what dirt did they have on you, everyone wondered.

★ whatever you did, their other victims were thankful because bullies! kiribaku have left them alone. instead, they now target any man who thinks they can hit on you. a guy at the club is sauntering towards you? kirishima grabs you by the back of the neck, turning your face towards him & captures your pouty lips in a steamy kiss. a man on instagram starts talking dirty to you through dms? all you have to do is tell bakugo, & he sends them a mirror selfie of him sitting on his bed while you're on your knees in front of him.

✩ at some point, everyone knew that you belonged to bullies! kiribaku, but you were just as bad as them. oh? someone's trying to seduce your bullies? not on your watch. they found it so fuckin' sexy the way you'd immediately rush to their side. if a woman tries to feel bakugo's bulging muscles while he's at the gym, you'll be there, marking his neck & glaring at her. kirishima's fan girls are getting too close? you'll sit on his lap & whisper how much you wanna beat them up.

★ "you're not gonna tell anyone about this, right?" kirishima purred, as if everyone was unaware of your guys' relationship. it added to the fun-- sneaking around & pretending like you have no other choice. you were sucking his cock while your skirt was flipped up, your thong down by your ankles. your legs were spread, & bakugo buried his face in your juicy ass. bakugo responded between pants, "'course not, don't be stupid. we got those cute lil pictures of her, she's not gonna do shit."

✩ bullies! kiribaku who will throw you into the nearest janitor's closet & fuck you so hard. their fingers in your mouth to act as a makeshift gag.

★ bullies! kiribaku who are never hesitant to treat you to whatever you want, but they're always so awkward about it. after all, they're not used to having such a graceful angel by their side.

✩ in the end, bullies! kiribaku corrupted you, not that you cared. you loved their nasty teasing, the manhandling, & the secret touching moments shared between all of you.

[mamawasatesttube]

ok i put a longer post abt tim's Emotional State in drafts for when my brain is less melted but re: tim and going to college im just gonna get a lil silly with it. hear me out.

i have this whole vague story in my mind for tim's college days moonlighting as red robin as he tries and figures out what he wants out of life. (it's a while after rr leaves off and all because he's like. Super Depressed for a hot minute and then has to drag himself through actually bothering to get his GED and applying to college, etc., but eventually lucius is like hey. you're great with gadgets, and you clearly love tinkering. i'd hire you for r&d in a heartbeat but you need at the least a bachelor's of engineering. i know you have a lot of the technical skills, but you need a degree. so tim goes ugh fine i'll get a goddamn engineering degree how hard can it possibly be.)

anyways. i think it's a universal experience that if you go to college and you hang with the STEM crowd, you will unfortunately get to know at least one Fucking Guy. it's like brentwood arc; tim does make friends, but there is just this One Fucking Guy he cannot stand and will never stand. this Fucking Guy is in the common room playing his guitar at midnight. he's drunk and yelling and laughing really loud when people have exams coming up. he's convinced everyone adores him. there's also a detective/supernatural plot going on. the subplot is just that tim hates This Fucking Guy.

at some point, there's a story beat where he as red robin has to rescue That Fucking Guy from a real dicey situation, and That Fucking Guy is really shaken and grateful to him, and he's like okay. maybe. maybe we are making progress. but then the next time he encounters This Fucking Guy as tim drake, the guy is just like. "ohhhh hey drake you missed it last night, it was AWESOME!!! i had to save red robin from a KILLER ROBOT. he's pretty cool though i guess. i bet you wish you could be more like him huh??" and tim is just. I Will Not Grind My Teeth About This. I Will Not. his life is a fucking joke. he dismantles the toaster oven in the common room kitchen to cope. it's definitely to cope and not just so that That Fucking Guy won't be able to heat up his pop tarts in the morning.

at another point, This Fucking Guy looks at street mode, lowkey, unremarkable Normal Car-looking redbird and goes, aw, dude, i thought your dad is loaded?? he only got you a generic-ass sedan?? that sucks lol, if you want we can take my car down to the game instead. and tim is just Say One More Fucking Word About My Baby I Dare You I Fucking Dare You One More Fucking Word.

(also i like to toy with the idea of this being a university in metropolis - he's out of gotham, but not too far. keeps him from getting antsy about what if he's needed because he can get right back over there. and in the meantime, he can hang out with kon and kara a lot, and occasionally enable and be enabled by lois lane and her snooping habits. there's another subplot in which tim and lois get up to shenanigans. at least once.)

it's sort of an introspective thing of him trying to come to terms with the way he no longer wants a fully normal life the way he always used to assume he would - he has the option to walk away from the cape now, like he always thought he would one day, but he just can't give it up anymore. he's fallen into the same black hole he watched dick and bruce dive headlong into. it's also about him finding joy in tinkering and working with his hands and getting to spend more time as tim drake first and foremost. and it's about him venting to kon about That Fucking Guy while they have a lil picnic on the green while kon loses his absolute shit laughing. all against the backdrop of a little mystery or something. <3

OH and also, most importantly. zoanne wilkins is there and laughing at him for assuming college would be easy. and kon gets her into wendy the werewolf stalker. My City Now.

[crsssie]

oops... i got married || TO MY COLLEGE PROF???

word count: 2.6k || Fic 1 of oops... i got married

summary: There is no way you just woke up married to your college prof. God. At least he's hot?

You get married as a joke.

Yes, there are limits to how much you can drink. Yes, there are limits to how insane you can get while drunk— but apparently getting married is not within that limit. You get married to some random guy— NOT SOME RANDOM GUY. YOU GET MARRIED TO YOUR COLLEGE PROFESSOR. You wake up to a legally signed marriage document and your college professor in your kitchen, and you blink at the red booklet in your hands and then at your professor at the door.

"You're going to be late for class."

"Oh. My. God." You hold your head as a headache splits you open. "that hurts."

Cael steps next to you, bowl of soup in his hand, and you blink at him.

"Oh my god."

"You've say that once already." He mumbles, holding the spoon to your lips after he blows on it. "Drink up."

You open your mouth to drink, still blinking in mild confusion when you finish the soup, brain only processing then whether or not you have clothes on. You touch yourself, sighing in relief when you notice that it's just a change of pajamas. It would be the end of the world... or, well, it wouldn't. You suppose there are worse situations than getting married to your hot professor... wait. Should there be an age gap tag on this?!

You take Cael's hand as he helps you up, and he blinks at you, tilting his head.

"Come on. You have class."

"Isn't it Saturday?"

"It's Monday."

"Don't we get Monday off?"

"That was last Monday." 

You scream, blinking at the clock, taking your clothes from Cael's hand (you have no idea when he got the clothes) and change, rushing out of the house as Cael locks the door behind you, following behind you as you rush through the college gates. Cael nods at the security guard— something that the two of you live in a pattern of regardless of whether or not you're married. You find it strange. Yes, you would not have asked Cael to marry you while sober, but it's also questionable. You wonder in what universe you fall for a man several times your age and ask him to marry you while plastered.

"So? Did you do anything after last night?" William brushes up next to you, peeking over your shoulder at you. "I saw someone bring you home. Lowkey, he was kind of hot. His hair was up and everything."

"Yeah." You pause. For the plot? For the plot. "I got married to him."

"WHAT." William screams, and the professor raises a brow in annoyance at him, making him sink back into his seat. "You got married to some random man!?"

"Yeah..." You avert your gaze. "I'll tell you in a bit. Let me take notes—"

"You never take notes!" William gasps. "No fucking way."

"Someone's going to beat my ass if I go home without any notes again." You avoid Cael's gaze from the front of the lecture hall, and go back to clicking on your laptop. "you know?"

"Oh my god." William blinks. "Please tell me I did not just put two and two together. Is this your only lecture of the day? Are you going home with your husband later?!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." You avoid the topic, choosing to ignore William for the rest of the lecture, and bolting for the door as soon as class is dismissed. William yells at you for being a coward and to face him, and you rest by the car as you wait for Cael to return. You sit in the car, resting your head on the wheel with a groan as you click through your phone. At some point, you grow tired, eyes growing heavy as you decide to doze off. You wonder where Cael is... you have a feeling that he's going to get here the second you knock out. You blink slowly, and then stare at Cael's face leaning over the door of your car.

You roll the window down after jumping in your skin.

"Why didn't you knock?!" You panic, eyes wide as you let Cael into the car. "What if you got caught?!"

"Caught by who? My fanclub?" He holds up a bag with drinks in it, humming. "Come on. I'll heat up the milk tea for you when we get home. Don't even think about touching it while it's cold."

"It's not cold!" You gape in faux offense. "I can drink it! Who did you even get it from?"

"My fanclub." He hums, pulling a drink out and stabbing a straw through it. "Drink up."

You take it from his hand as he secures his seatbelt, starting the car as you pause. "So... are we going to talk about being legally married?"

"We can talk about that at home." Cael hums. "Want me to drive?"

"No. It's my car." You grumble, driving out the parking lot as you wait to merge onto the street. "What exactly happened?"

"You got plastered and somehow managed to convince me to sign the marriage certificate you were holding up." Cael pauses. "I was also partially drunk."

"You drank? Who drove us home?"

"We rode the subway."

"Damn." You mumble. "That's crazy. I can't believe you said yes. I would've expected you to say no."

"Well..."

"..." You pause, slowing down at the red light. "drunk man words are sober man thoughts."

"Don't say that to me."

"Oh my god." You mumble. "You're in love with me."

Cael chooses to stay quiet, and you reach over to grab his thigh, laughing as you step on the gas.

"My husband is in love with me!!!" You laugh, squeezing him affectionately as you continue to drive. "Does that mean you won't get divorced with me?"

There's a considerable silence before he speaks up. "Did you think I was going to divorce you?" 

"Maybe." You mumble. "Just a little."

"I wouldn't have agreed had I not liked you to some extent." He mumbles, resting his hand on top of yours. 

"Oh." You pause, another considerable silence passing over the two of you. You blink slowly even when the two of you reach your apartment, and suddenly, it's almost as if his words have just clicked. He likes you. Your college professor likes you. Wait.

"There's got to be some sort of questionable age gap between the two of us." You deadpan.

Cael raises a brow, and you pout. "You're in your last year."

You pause. "True... but you better have not liked me for four years. Isn't it weird to fall for a student anyway? Or did you fall for me because we're neighbors?"

"A mixture of everything." He hums, resting his forehead on yours. "If you keep talking, I may just not cook dinner."

"I can live with instant noodles."

"I can't." He pinches your skin gently. "Shall we have dinner?"

You find that being married to Cael is fun. You get to watch him grade everyone's tests and snoop through his stacks of papers and laptop to see whether or not you can find the next test's answers, and your answer is almost always the same file with a password you can never crack in time before Cael inevitably finds you trying to cheat again. You wonder why he doesn't just report you to the dean, but you don't find it in yourself to care, lips pulled into a pout as he tells you to just study. Easy for him to say.

Maybe he's so old that he just forgot that senioritis happens in college too. 

Yet, he cares in his own way, warm drink next to you as you work through the copious amount of work that you're given in your upper-division courses, head spinning and annoyed over everything. He points out mistakes in your paper, glasses resting on the bridge of his nose, lashes batting slowly as he corrects your essays with a click of his tongue. You pout at him when he does, but he does not make any change in habit. As long as you get a good grade, you suppose. 

Then, your grade comes back, and you are set to graduate. 

You rush home to show Cael the grade on your phone, arms thrown around him as you beam. He runs his hand down your back affectionately, lips pressed to the temple of your head sweetly as he congratulates you. You hum, head resting on his shoulder as you hum. "I should pay you back."

"How about wearing a ring?"

"We have these." You pout at the cheap one on your finger.

"We both know I can afford to buy you a better one." He hums, playing with the ring on your finger. "Shall we go ring shopping in celebration?"

"How is that me paying you back?"

"You're paying me back by spending more time with me." He hums. "That is my request. Let us go buy a ring together."

"Is that all?" You hum.

"We can spend the rest of the day shopping too."

"Alright..." You mumble. "We should go shopping for your clothes. Your wardrobe needs a little updating."

"Yeah?"

"And don't fight me for the bill on your clothes."

"Is that how you're going to pay me back?"

"Yep." You pop the p for emphasis, pressing a kiss to his cheek as you hop off his lap. "We'll take my car so we don't need to haul shopping bags back on the subway."

"Very well."

Cael sits back and lets you pick his outfits, your thoughts put before his as you discuss with the store clerk how to make him the hottest man on campus. He wonders if you just simply don't have a single jealous bone in your body. He doesn't like it when people get too close to you. His brows furrow ever so slightly as your hand brushes the store clerk's when you take the outfit, and you furrow your brows slightly as you stare at the clothes and then at Cael.

"I don't want this color of tweed."

"What are you looking for?"

"Something like... classic. Beige. Picture beige baby but there is no baby and it's my husband." You pause. "Make him the hot guy in a trenchcoat at the campus coffee shop."

"I see the vision." The clerk gives you a thumbs up. "Just wait and see, young'in. We've got this."

You wave bye to Cael with a smile on your face, sitting in the waiting area as you scroll through your phone. You take photos and give a thumbs up and down depending on how good he looks in the clothes, and Cael finds that despite his stamina, he understands why you had looked so drained after shopping with him all those times. It's not that his body is tired— it's just that he can only wear so many outfits in such limited time.

On the last one, he opens the curtain of the dressing room, and your whole face perks up.

Ah. This one. You like this one the best.

"Shall we buy this one?" Cael raises a brow.

"I don't care if my scholarship money is going down the drain for this." You rip the tag from behind him as he crouches down slightly to help you rip it easier, and you scan and ring up the bill. He watches as you swipe your card without second thought, the vast majority of what he tried on going into bags as you carry them. Cael presses his lips to your forehead gently as a thank you, and you grin.

"Shall we get something to eat? My treat." He hums. 

"Not the rings?"

"I called my associate at another store." Cael hums. "I can take some of the bags—"

"No." You pout. "Let me."

"Well, I suppose it is a skill for you to be able to hold so many at once." He laughs. "Would you like a treat?"

"I'd like my ring." You bat your lashes at him with a grin. "I'll drive."

"Alright." He follows behind you, coat still on, hot on your trail as the two of you wait in the elevator to get down to the right level. He helps you open the trunk, and you hum happily. 

"Did you order a ring?"

"They're going to get you fitted." He hums. "And then you're going to pick a design out of all the ones I sketched out."

"Oooh..." You shut the trunk. "Romantic."

"Perhaps it would have been more romantic to actually propose with it."

"Well, we get a good story out of it." You smile at him as the two of you get in the car.  "What color is the ring going to be?"

"I've sketched it in every color you can think of."

"There is no way you did that."

He did.

You stare at the samples and then at the sketches Cael provided, and you blink slowly at your husband. 

"You pick."

The clerk gapes as Cael picks up the rings and tries them on you one at a time. He would get you all of them, but you would complain that it's a waste of his money. Though, he wouldn't really be spending much. He wonders when the next cheque for displaying his works is going to come in. That should be more than enough to cover the costs of the rings.

"Why not all?"

"I'm not comfortable with spending all of that money yet." You deadpan.

"Better get used to it." He hums. "These three."

You stare at the designs he picked, and he hums. "Turn these two into earrings instead."

"A pair or one of each?"

Cael glances at you, lips quirking up at the sight of your dropped jaw.

"One of each?" You blink at him in confusion. "One of each. Mix and match sounds fun."

Cael nods as the store clerk punches in the order. "Anything else you would like, sir?"

Cael shakes his head. 

"Wait, how about your wedding ring?"

"Oh, they have their counterparts." Cael flips the paper over, and your jaw drops. 

"Double the price?"

"Don't worry about it." He hums, tapping his card on the machine and covering your eyes.

"Oh, hey." You hum. "You finally figured out how to use a credit card?"

"Debit." He hums. "I had an account because they were paying me, but I just never applied for a card."

"Oh." You pause. "YOU'RE USING A DEBIT CARD?! HOW MUCH MONEY DO YOU EVEN HAVE?!"

"How old am I?"

You shut up after that.

Not arguing with a man who's older than the existence of the planet you're on. (a joke, really. He's only a decade or two older than you. Though, he definitely doesn't look it.) So, you stare at the ring on your ears in the mirror two weeks later, Cael's matching one on his pierced ear, leaning behind you, chest pressed to your back as he stares at the earring on your ear.

"Looks nice."

"Yeah?" Your neck creeps with warmth, and he presses his lips to your ear gently, standing straight again as the clerk hands him the bag with the earrings.

"Shall we get going, beloved?"

Your hand shakes as you take his, and you try and calm your racing heart.

Oh, god. This might've been the best decision you've ever made while drunk. ever.

[hyuckswoman]

4. i love renjun

previous chapter masterlist next chapter

I apologize for the short (lowkey filler) chapter lol, college is beating my ass

[str4ngr]

So don't know if you do school au's or not but this is for your 800 followers prompt board.May ask this with other fandoms

Fluff 2. bully x nerd

headcanon or ramble of your thoughts whatever works for you

But if it could be with the twist of the reader being the bully. More of the smart, manipulative, sit back and watch "If I have other people to do my dirty work, why get my hands dirty myself?(⁠｡⁠•̀⁠ᴗ⁠-⁠)⁠✧" Type. Y'know

Maybe runs a delinquent gang korac (korack?spelling's hard) or 141. ¯⁠\⁠(⁠°⁠_⁠o⁠)⁠/⁠¯ idk feel free to take and leave what you want.

Character ideas:

Teacher's pet/nerd!Kyle who reader "asks"orders to let them see there notes after class behind the school "I wanna see how the top of the class organized all that info into one sheet of paper🥺", only too burn it in front of him with a lighter. later rubbing it in once the next test scores come through with a disappointing look from mr.price and a 67 return grade.

Dumb jock!Johnny who reader calls "soap" because he needs a bath.

Quiet kid!Simon that is as important as a ghost in the day time, Aka not.(To reader at least)

Pushover!könig that reader makes do all their heavy lifting bc "I'm the brain an your the bron, you'd be nowhere without me🤭"

History teacher!Mr.Price that can't prove that it's reader that is pulling the strings behind that sweet model student mask they put on.

I just need more mean reader 😭. Maybe reader find it amusing that someone like them is able to be picked on and that's why they bully them.

Have a lovely rest of your day

your majesty.

t.f.141 & könig. | my drug, my addiction.

cw: suggestive[?], obsession, foul language, age difference, mentions of bullying/hazing, college au, gn! reader. wc: 812. notes: kind of not x reader, idk. this is longgggg. also idk how to resolve this so it's like lowkey mid-story type shit. not proofread.

being the ball and staff holder of your little college was real fun. no body here really cared for your classes or your degrees, besides, going to those parties with too much alcohol and only one drinker, circulating those bloody-face pictures, and sending dares through burners, was far, far, more worth while.

professor price

obvi gonna make this a college au

i think his first instinct would to go after your underlings/ the physical perpetrators.

he wouldnt be able to catch them without evidence, but he would keep a close eye.

he observes them during any class he lectures of can sneak into but doesnt notice a direct connection between the victims and the bullies. many were in different classes, majors, floors, buildings, but there was always someone.

you.

attractive, intelligent, and charismatic, the idea of you being associated with this vicious bullying left a bitter stain on his tongue. but price couldnt deny it. you were always there. never missed a day of class, never missed a beat in taking your usual seat in the lecture hall of neither the front not back.

price goes home that day with a tug of war on his mind. he wasnt sure what to do. he could say, yes, you were there, but you werent when kyle was dragged to the back hallway.

he became almost obsessed, enthralled by the idea of, maybe, just maybe. it was a hard game.

you grinned to yourself as you stared at the newly "earned" money in your hands. you grinned knowing 'your' top grades were yours. you grinned because someone noticed, and now it was all the more fun. it was a long, long stretch. a bloody dance of two double-edged swords fighting for a purpose of neither justice or protection. truly just the adrenaline.

kiss-ass kyle.

kyle was almost helpless at the sidelines, chased down, mocked, and cheated.

"kyle, your grades have been falling, is there anything you want to talk about?"

you grinned when you heard prices voice from behind the ajar door, where he and kyle stood, revising kyle's most recent test scores.

top of class to barely passing?

price couldn't believe it. it was out of character for one of his best students to be spiraling down so rapidly.

"no, i'll do better."

he didn't.

you're staring at the way prices lips twitch into a frown, eyes flat as he hands kyle his paper. upside down.

lacky könig & toy johnny.

when könig first transferred to your college, it was awkward. how does someone with such a thick accent integrate to the cliquiest college? how but then such a sweet, beautiful, top student greet him, welcomes him with open arms

he was a lost puppy, following you without a leash, hearts in his eyes as he grabs another annoying rugby player.

your silky voice ringing in his ear,

"koko? do me a favor, make sure that soap kid doesn't come near me again?"

he didn't even need you to negotiate, he nodded, heavy stature shoving poor johnny against the brick wall of a far away storage building.

könig's imaginary tail wags behind him as he showed you a photo of beaten and pulped johnny,

"told him to never even look at you again!" his gruff voice would mutter, eyes brightening as you whisper,

"good boy."

johnny really became a toy after that. clueless and submissive to your insults as you berate him after each gym class, rolling oyur eyes in objective disgust while looking him up and down,

"sad the only clean part about you is the fact i call you 'soap', now fuck off, you're making it hard to breathe."

silent simon.

why bother with him.

simon was quiet, always.

so to you, he was really nothing more than a stick on the road that you had to run over.

and snap.

of course, it was easy. he didn't whine, hiss, growl. i imagine that he was lanky, tall, but skinny. and of course, when you see such an easy target, who are you not to take it?

you decided having könig be the one to break him wouldn't be any fun, but watching as the guy who already struggled with having any social life slowly get pushed farther and father into isolation?

now that was fun.

first you took his dumb himbo friend johnny, who was beat to a pulp, and told it was all simons fault.

dumb dog never spoke to him, and how fun it was to watch simon stare from afar as one of his only friends left him to eat lunch by himself.

next was kyle, who was kind enough to help simon with their history class.

"Kyle, keep talking to that hoodie kid, and i'll make sure the only thing that's ruined isn't just your grades."

You smile as kyle urgently responds to the texts in desperate pleas and promises to never speak to him. He didn't know it was you, but he did know you would follow through with your words.

notes: ughhh i hope i did this rq properly especially because i took so long on itt. sorry for taking so long, i was kind of struggling with how to portray each character in a cohesive setting.

[corporatefrog]

꒦‧₊ ꒷ HEADCANNONS: team craig reacting to yn being in the hospital✧.*

✧.* tags: superhero au, college au ✧.* Characters: tolkien blacl, craig tucker, tweek tweek, clyde donavan, jimmy valmer a/n: I got around to sharing team craig! i'm so happy everyone liked the previous one and I hope you enjoy this one just as much!

masterlist

Craig

He’d act very apathetic about the whole situation when you told him

“I’m going to be in the hospital for the next week, I got into an accident during a villain attack and hit my head pretty bad.”

“Oh wow. That’s a bummer.”

“Yeah, can you grab my homework for me?”

“Eh… I’ve got some things going on tomorrow.”

He doesn’t want to see you hurt 

So he just avoids going

As long as he doesn’t physically SEE you, you can’t really be hurt, right?

Clyde drags him to the hospital to visit you 

After that he’s visiting everyday until you’re discharged 

Then sits with you to pass the time since you can’t look at screens until you’re healed

Definitely shows you his astronomy books

(lowkey very happy to have someone who listens to his interests instead of dealing with south park’s bullshit of the day but he’ll never say it)

Tweek 

Let’s be honest we ALL know what he’d do

And it’s not sit down, have a cup of tea and wait to for you to be discharged

He’s running into the automatic door before he can open

Probably ends up in the hospital WITH you by the time he makes it to your room

“WHAT HAPPENED”

“I literally texted you”

“I tried to read it but my hand wouldn’t stop shaking so I decided to get here as fast as possible but then my bike hit a curb so I had to run all the way over.”

“Jesus fuck dude, you need this bed more than me.”

“NO DONT GET UP YOUR BLOOD WILL GO EVERYWHERE”

“Im literally being discharged rn”

You being hurt means that HE can get hurt

Starts showing up to EVERYTHING covered in bubble wrap

He looks like that kid from home alone except with bubble wrap 

Craig blames you

“Bro my car was literally crushed by the fucking coon how is that my fault”

“You didn’t coon-proof your car and now Tweek’s going to be freaking out for the next month”

Tolkien

Probably the only one with a NORMAL reaction

You send him a text that you were in the hospital and he says he’ll be over once he’s out of class

Real normal stuff

Normal until he gets to the hospital

You can’t tell it’s him through the balloons and flowers and stuffed animals

“Why does the bear have a card that says ‘We’ll beat Cancer together’?”

“I didn’t know what was wrong so I grabbed one of everything.”

You were knocked out when a piece of debris hit your head during a villain attack

You need to go back to work to make money for rent?

Nah he covered your rent for the month. And utilities. And filled your fridge.

What’s the point of being rich if you can’t help your friends when they’re hurt? 

He’d do it for anyone!

(anyone meaning you and butters. Maybe kyle if he’s in a good mood. Only redeemable souls in the whole town)

Clyde

Acting like you’re DYING the moment you tell him

You could literally have a sprained ankle and he’s sobbing like you’ve got a day to live

“I know i wasn’t always the best friend in the world but I care about you so much!”

“That’s great clyde, can we talk about this tomorrow though?”

“You’re so strong. Acting like everything’s okay.”

Watching the area around you like a HAWK for the next month incase there are any dangers

What if you get hurt again??

Wants you to stay home for a month after you get out of the hospital 

Stands in front of your door, holding the doorknob so you can’t open it inward

But the door opens outward

So you send him falling onto his ass and start walking to class with a sobbing clyde crawling across the floor behind you

He means well though

Jimmy

Finally, the perfect audience to try his new hospital set with

He doesn’t really like hospitals since his comedy isn’t usually appreciated 

He’ll call you everyday though! And tell you everything that’s happening with your friends

It’s like having your own personal sitcom that calls you everyday

“And then craig threw his ice cream at cartman’s face and made him the true mint chocolate chip.”

“PFFFT! God i love your commentary”

“What can i say, you’re a great audience!”

“Can you just call me everyday and recap the day?”

“Wow, my mom always told me i’d be famous but this is getting a little wild”

Even if he’s worried, he’s not going to say anything.

He wants to boost your mood since he knows hospitals have rancid vibes

He’s the first one to visit you once you’re back at home and he’s got PAGES of recaps to share with you

[jellyjollycreature]

this is so stupid oh my g

HIIII,,, SO UHH!!! me and my brother are writing a FIDDLESTAN fanfiction and in another fic after the one we r writing there is gonna be MASSIVE tate conent and i wanna INFODUMP ABOUT IT!!!

OK SO the sequal fanfiction persay is revolved around tate and his life because i'm hyperfixated on him and i LOVE HIM OK SO in this universe, stanley never breaks Fords project, Ford ends up going to his dream college, and Stan goes to backupsmore and meets FIDDLEFORD!!!!!! They make a computer company and a bunch of other shit will happen (NO SPOILERS, WINK WINK!!) and after all of that they adopt Tate:333!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so yeah basic rundown and whatnot ANYWAYS MOVING ON

the sequal will bascially be Tate in his sophmore year in highschool (1997) and he meets a kid named BRODY BACKLE!!!! (a lot of people have a oc named/based on "backle" but i found that out AFTER me and my brother made him.) Brody is kind of a reckless guy, he gets close with Tate and they become best "freinds" (there is A LOT of homoerotic tension with them) they do normal teenage stuff persay Brody makes Tate do reblalous things aganist his dad's rules, and genuinely becoming KIND OF AN ASS.

I WANNA DESCRIBE HOW THEY LOOK IN THIS OSHJSS

So for context Tate is 15 and Backle is 16

OKOK

Tate used to wear; sweaters, (Knitted by Fiddleford) cargo shorts, big bulky sneakers, HATS. and very soft kind of look (me and my brother joke all his outfits are picked out by Fiddleford) BUT AFTER he meets Broody he dresses in oversized band shirts, baggy pants, beanies, backwards hats, and of course his hair covering his eyes because by god in my au his eyes are BLINDING like the bluest eyes you have ever SEEN.

Brody/Backle wears; bascially the same thing Tate would wear minus the hats, His head is shaved with blonde hair, his ears STRECHED TO THE MAX, pircings EVERYWHERE and genually like ur averge alt guy, he chills out when he gets older tho

They never OFFICALLY GET TOGETHER (as if rn) but they do kiss, hold hands, get matching stuff, cuddle, hug, all that mushy couple stuff they do (When they get older i might get them together who knows,,) when they get older they created the bait shop together, they spend a shit ton of time together they are INSPERABLE, they own a house together near the bait shop, (no homo, Brody says whenever someone asks about it)

Tate (when he gets older) would wear ; what he wears in the cannon gravity falls universe but looser because dear god holy shit. when he isn't working he would wear button ups, with hand knitten sweaters made by Fiddleford, cargo pants, and very beat up shoes with of course, a hat. So bascially what he wore before he met Brody kind of thing

Brody would lowkey dress the same as he did when he was youger, when he's older, he usally wears band tee's with a flaneel drapped over it (all of his flanels were owned by Tate at one point, he would have blonde wavy longish hair and is a genually chill guy.

in they older years, Tate and Brody spend most of their time (when they aren't working) fishing, talking about endless stuff never ending coversations, Brody never really opens up to anyone that isn't Tate (Broody lore coming soon). ALSO, Brody is VERY affectionate to Tate like thats his number one thing in the entire UNIVERSE right there, Tate has a hard time giving love out to Brody, he doesn't understand how to do it or how it works, Brody understands and he knows Tate loves him back.

When they were teenagers, Brody always stayed at Tate's house, never really going to his own. Stan and Fiddleford see him as another member of them family at that point, Brody would spend weeks at the pine's house, Brodys parents lowkey stopped gaf about Brody after 5th grade so his parents did not care he was spending most of his time at this random kids house

Tate's first kiss was Brody, they usally got affectionate when they were high or something along those lines, they kissed mulitple times, whenever Tate would ask what they were, Brody would ignore the subject leaving Tate confused and upset. When they got older they eventually sorted everything out leaving all the tension behind them.

ok i'm getting sleepy sorry if this is shitty my autistic brain needs to rant to someone and the someone is tumblr so, yay

[sukirichi]

Omggg sukiii is rin the end game???

It’s giving rin the endgame I somehow subconsciously knew he would (I’m being delulu)

I loveeeed the chapter omggg 😭😭😭 I loved how they argued it was so movie worth it and how bad ass yn is “I’m still the general’s daughter” “they won’t shoot” “but I will” okay??!!! Weird way to propose but yes without question…(rin’s thoughts probably)

You know what forget rin or omi I’ll just self ship with yn she is her own person now 🤭🤭

But on a serious note…

I’m so sad for omi can he get his own person to be happy with???(not trying to pressure on anything !! All jokes!!) 🥺🥺🥺 like even tho I said I’ll be happy for both endings I’m still sad in thinking how sad and heartbroken he will be when he finds out Yuzuru chose rin again and again and specially when he finds out she openly shot one of the cars as a symbolism of more betrayal toward the country….

On the other sideeeee I can still totally understand why she chose Rin, it’s kinda like I mentioned before, rin is that one person she knows in depth and the one person that knows her, I guess I might be wrong but for yn is a subconscious decision that just tells her is the right decision, she is doing the right thing not because she is in love or is a romantic view, more because she will always be drawn to him as a partner she married him and she made vows to always be by his side.

Again I might be wrong and delulu because there’s mores chapters to go and there’s always room for plot twist heheh😈

I’m genuinely ready for all the drama you decide to graces us with I will always repeat how much I love your writing 🥰🥰🥰🥰

This is kinda long I’m sorry!!! But I hope you don’t get bored with all this text lol, anyways…

Stay hydrated!! It’s important specially with this heat and good luck with uni as well!!! I’m sure everything will turn out great, you are literally so smart 🤭🤭🤭, we uni students have to support each other, college is such a fraud 😭😭😭

Much love to you sukiii!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️ muack muack 😘😘😘

P.s.

I’m in my kuroo era with this business degree and the insane amount of pages they make me write like damn 😭😭

-🐝

HMMM IS RIN ENDGAME… that’s a good question. AGSHJKA its okay to be delulu but the question is do you guys want him to be endgame!! (ik a lot of people don’t buTTTTTT honestly we’ll see!)

AFGHJKSA so many people liked that shooting scene and I’m so happy!! I really do like how dtd!yn is a badass in her own way <3 soft hearted but won’t hesitate to shoot lol. LMAOOO NO BECAUSE I JUST KNOW THAT RIN WAS LOWKEY SMIRKING TO HIMSELF WHEN WE SHOT THE CARS CHASING AFTER US like I know he was proud!! “that’s my wife,” he probably thought ugh he’s lowkey a simp

no pressure at all nons no worries!! and oof as much as I’d like to spoil on what’s going to happen for omi so I can give the omi stans some comfort, I’m gonna have to keep my lips sealed for now </3 and yes!! her shooting the car was really a symbol that she’d really left omi and the country behind. when she pulled that trigger, that was already a huge declaration that she was going to choose rin and she’s not turning back now. I do get that it was sad she had to leave omi but… what other choice did we have </3 if we went back to him, we’d just put him in more danger

“rin is that one person she knows in depth and the one person that knows her.” yes yes yes!! I will not go around saying they were a healthy duo because they aren’t!! rin has hurt us many times and we keep coming back to him, and it’s not really good for our mental health BUT we cannot deny that these two have always had a bond that they couldn’t replicate or feel again with someone else (even with omi! falling for omi, choosing omi, it was a conscious decision – a conclusion that we arrived to after so many months of contemplation and beating ourselves up for feeling that way.) we weren’t like that with rin. we fell for him headfirst and we just kept falling and falling because we knew he would catch us!! and he did, even if it wasn’t genuine at first. the thing about yn’s dynamic with rin is that a lot of our decisions towards him just come instinctually, like… we don’t have to think twice about it. it’s like “ofc its rin” but for omi it was like, “yknow what… I should have just chosen him.” idk if im making sense but there is a difference and im so glad you noticed that bit!! ALSO yes it wasn’t always romantic, especially at the end of the story – we didn’t choose him because we were in love with him. as you’ve said, we’re drawn to him as a partner and we stuck to our vows to always be by his side. we chose to spend these dangerous times with the person we knew the most and it doesn’t always have to be bcos of romantic feelings! (because atp there’s like. almost none with rin. our romantic feelings are more for kiyoomi, but we’re most familiar with rin.)

alsooo omg it’s okay!! I don’t mind long asks hehee I EAT TEHEM UP ACTUALLY. and aah thank you so much, please stay hydrated as well and take care of yourself!! OMG YEAH we uni people gotta be supportive like we’re all in this together (suffering together) n much love to you too bee anon!!

LMAOOOO NOT THE KUROO ERA AGAHSJKAA they really have you writing up so much huh I heard kuroo was looking for a junior journalist hehe

[lqfiles]

girl i missed u so much i havent been active idek if you’vebeen active but I MISSED U, i feel like we’re friends i missed and love u man

YOURE SO CUTE PLSSS i’ve also not been active unfortunately, college is rlly beating my ass 😣 but i missed you too i love it whenever i see you in my inbox and lowkey i feel it too like we are literal friends 🥺 I LOVE YOU MORE like you don’t get it.. hope you’ve been well lately!!!

[violexta]

I hope you’re doing okay <3 do you still make smaus?

ʰⁱ ᵉᵛᵉʳʸᵒⁿᵉ

lmao its been a while erm anyways…

i want to make more smaus but ive literally had no motivation and college is lowkey beating my ass

but i plan to i promise!!!! ＼(٥⁀▽⁀ )／

college- 1 violeta- 0

[lostbizkits]

I will never get over the fact that the person who I considered one of my greatest friends actually Did Not In Fact Like Me for at least 4 years and during those 4 years deliberately tried excluding me from every conversation with others about my interests.

If a new anime came out and she wanted to talk about it she would specifically only talk about it when I wasn’t around.

When I started talking about said anime she would immediately lose interest and the cycle would continue

It happened like… 5 times 😭😭 like MHA, AOT, Undertale, Yuri on Ice, Tokyo Ghoul, DRAWING IN GENERAL it’s really funny now that I think about it.

I just straight up did not notice the entire time too my ass was so clueless I couldn’t fathom that she was doing this. I only found out because someone else told me 2 years after it started happening.

I will also never forget about how 3 of my highschool friends, 2 of them I knew for 13 years, got into relationships, didn’t tell me for a whole year, and laughed at me when I got confused when they were talking about how they’d all been “going strong” for a year.

I will never forget being considered weird and strange and childish for my interests esp since I was interested in them for way longer than my peers. That I was weird for liking things like anime and donghua even though I grew up watching anime and donghua (I could never beat the Asian poser allegations even though I was the only Asian ) but then 2017 hit and liking anime was cool all of a sudden and multiple people suddenly forgot they called me abnormal for liking ugly cartoons at my big age and were asking me for recommendations

I remember saying things to people and they would laugh but I’d never understand why it’s funny, to this day I don’t get it. I am very good at this now tho with my college friends so my SHS was probably just full of dry people.

The shit that keeps me up at night is also that all my teachers would tell my parents that I was highly distracted and always fidgeting or daydreaming, and that if I just worked on discipline and motivation I’d be a better student even though I wasn’t doing bad by any means from class 1 to fucking 6th form and no one clocked that I had ADHD is WILD

My mom, who majored in child psychology didn’t clock that I had ADHD for 19 entire years and called me drug seeking when I got my diagnosis and started treatment, because I was nothing like the ADHD kids that she worked with who were all 4.

Also the fact that my childhood was lowkey a giant fluorescent sign of it all and no one clocked it is hilarious. I pulled the straps of my shoes so tight they’d rip because I don’t like the feeling of shoes having air in them, I have dents from it like my feet would not get proper circulation because my shoes were so tight. I cut along the seems of all my school socks because if the seem touched my toe pads I would cry. My favourite thing to do second to playing Mario kart and watching 3 movies on rotation (ponyo, cindarella, Monster High: 13 Wishes) was to stack my collection of kid encyclopedias ( 14 at its peak), read them then put them into another stack. I had more kid encyclopedias but I didn’t like them because they had a different publisher so none of the stuff was in the same layout 0/10

The call was coming from inside the house but everyone had the phone on silent

[babythegod]

Remember when I was 16 and my cousins kept getting pregnant so you woke me up out of my sleep to accuse me of being with child, beat me with a broom then called the police on me &I wasn’t even sexually active. I had to cover my black eye with make-up during thanksgiving festivities or when we actually still lived with Monterra &you hit me with a pool stick before school (for getting “smart”) so I tried to stab a knife into my wrist vein (where my ankh tattoo is now because I was sick of looking at the scar) or when nobody gaf after lil bro busted my lip wide open cause I said he “acts like our dad” or when I lost my cat and you lied and told him I was trying to assault you so he came into my room and abused me as you watched proudly from the doorway. Fun times 😻

Kinda an excerpt : from my upcoming book :

The Calling.

“I still cry for that teenager that was left with an ultimatum that would unknowingly change the trajectory of her entire life and leave me scarred and traumatized for years. When I told my dad “NO!” I didn’t want to live with him as he threw my mom out of our family home , I didn’t realize at the time that I was choosing death. I meant NO ! I want all of this to end now. NO! can we fix it ? NO ! Let’s press rewind …My innocence was killed that night &I lost everything I ever knew to be true. I had always felt the absence of love but then safety vanished as well. No one ever asked me if I was ok . No one. Not once. I began to look for home in all the wrong people and places. Both of my parents swear they did “their best” with me but the way my brothers were and still are treated , I know that’s not valid. I was denied child support my entire teenage years while everyone else received lavish new clothing &designer shoes , I would get berated if I ever tried any piece of my moms wardrobe on. I remember hearing “YOUR DAD GIVES ME $600 A MONTH, ALL FOR FAT” an innumerable amount of times. So I would walk to this bootleg cd/dvd/ women’s apparel store called “Hot Girls” every single day after school begging the owner to let me work there. It’s lowkey so funny cause it was right across from the police station and he was pirating his ass off 😹😹😹 He finally agreed and I made $5 an hour , from 4-8 , when I got off the bus I would go straight there &all day Saturday. He was closed on Sundays. $70 -$120 cash under the table every week is what helped me survive. Now that I think back , Seven was really the only father figure I had as a teen. He was a skinny weird little dude from Hollygrove. We would always fuss cause I was a product of my circumstances and he was Dwayne PONCHO Eli, I still don’t really know why people called him Seven but he always told me “you’re not country like most Kenner people, you’re different 😹” I am so thankful for him because I could’ve got lost in the streets like most abandoned young ladies do. I worked there until I was 18 &was able to find real employment. “

The main reasons I can never bond with my father still to this day; 1. Our relationship was never fostered. 2. While working at my job I purchased a white pair of shorts , that were too tight and skimpy , I admit. But I just thought they were fly at the time. I couldn’t have imagined that Instead of buying your daughter new clothes you’d rather wish rape upon her , vocally in front of our entire family in my grandparents house. No one even batted an eye. No one addressed his cruelty. My dad must be a wizard because his evil wish eventually came true in 2015/2016, my senior year in college I was assaulted in my own apartment. I went into denial, dropped out with only 6 credits left. I honestly believe; Sire &the Holy Spirit saved my life. I would not know love if it wasn’t for Christ.

The things I am still struggling to forgive, but can never forget.

The hate u give little infants fucks everyone …

[radioblonde]

so I'm starting this here

I'm just some other happy, free, confused, and lonely junior in college who didn't understand how perfectly aligned those four words were back in 2012 when Red (OG and ONLY version) was released.

So, I'm taking a rhetoric of pop culture class (pop cultural analysis thru the lens of Taylor Swift AAH!) that has inspired me to finally join Tumblr after the literal decade I've spent taking influence, in every single way, from this damn site.

Like, why haven't I been blogging my life down forever? What the fuck is the use of a journal anyway? jk #diaries4ever

I write a lot about the things that I'm blessed to experience. and I'd love to share for whoever might relate or love it themselves.

I spoke to my about this last week. I used to get insecure when speaking up about my opinion sometimes, like I wouldn't say the right things or hurt the wrong feelings. She told me that sometimes--people forget that we're all going through the same shit. some are more scared than others, but only because the others were once just as scared too. we all move past it someday. So as it turns out, all those ppl were actually right when they said comparison is the thief of joy. we've all got things to say and do, whether independently or with ppl alongside. if it's in words, it's in the world. Why tuck it away in your own world, when nothing's as it seems even in the real world? We learn best when put into practice. So fuck it.

separate thought, but remember needing to put "Tumblr" when searching up anything online? it was literally the only way. why did Tumblr even fall off like that. I feel like it's so creatively unique. I get the surface-level mainstream community online kinda giving up on it, but how abt the writers, creatives, and artsy girls of our generation? are they on it, and I'm just late af??

I used to have one of those Tumblr summer bucket list accounts with my best friend growing up...without actually using Tumblr. in all fairness, we were literally on the internet at like 10 years old. a pre-teen can only learn so much at once LOL.

I started stanning Taylor Swift when her and I stopped being friends. In like 2014. iconic ass time. even tho I was literally 11, I'm so nostalgic over it lol. I wanted to be a teenager then so bad. I wonder how I'll feel about high school in 2019-2022 in the future--If that nostalgia could ever beat Tumblr nostalgia (and that's coming from someone who lived vicariously thru it on IG!)

her and I were besties for like all of high school. but our second breakup, end of senior year, was the realest. everything and everyone was embarrassing. especially me. Lowkey depressing. So, I left Miami for college, excited to meet new people or new vibes... until I eventually realized that I've never comfortably fit in anywhere just yet. Maybe I should just blame Florida. or maybe it's cause I've been made to believe I'm not Latina enough (that's bs. Ik where I come from). maybe it's all bs, and I just need to finally move to NYC with Chan, my childhood bestie. all I know is that it doesn't really matter what city I'm in if I know where I wanna go.

Third year now. Still got Taylor. and I've come to love those random experiences and memories that once felt like blades puncturing my lungs. the bright side of every situation is actually, really cute. cause fr, apart from irl limits or calamity, what you see is what you get.

Anyways, I'm bringing back Tumblr, if it's even as dead as it seems rn.

[pinkadork]

Im fine

Its not like ive been setting myself up what feels like forever to both really and also i guess not at all always be in the cycle im in. The predestined fuck up ig my moms a fuck up

Im a fuck up

I cant stay a job apparently

I’m too scared of every if and but when it comes to trying it to be creative and do things like i used too, nowadays i feel like its tainted because im not even finna be doing it because i like it anymore, but instead just proving i didn’t give up, when i did

I was tired, emotionally drained, put in a position i nor anyone really asked for but guess whose grandparents this belonged to

Im not a fucking mistake or a right person wrong time

I am a nigga thats has been struggling and it was before you sure but everyone in the fuck ass house kept trauma bonding new and old covid didnt fucking help.

How the fuck are we fucking but aint no protection or immediate showers available

How am i toxic for not wanting what felt like more like a: fuck my poor ass boy friends and dementia ridden grandparents( and while its not anyones job to guide me if we in a relationship and you feel some way say some shit some how ) the weirdest ( but unfortunately not worst) living situation ive been in, the deepest most confusing, loving yet infuriating, real yet faux ass relationship ive had with anyone.

Like even now I physically am sick to my stomach about the idea or notion of again my ex, someone who has dumped me like at least twice since July and lowkey high key didnt even count it it was like a secret trial i failed because ofc im not sure of you actually love me mr. I tell the world you beat me but sure we can play minecraft

Fucking the part the gets me the most about this is i know you know how i feel and its just

I feel set up

Like genuinely not just the relationship shit

And im not gonna act like i dont play my role in shit and attribute a lot to the shit that get me and others where we are but jfc im tired

I’m not the brightest bulb but im not a fucking dumbass

And i did more than read the room, i saw the patterns, felt the vibe shifts, and tried so fucking hard.

Its sad whatever im pathetic but i think i knew without saying it (and even saying this it doesnt mean all the people out with then bc some are still here and we cool but fucking) My ex was the realest mf i had in my circle, and which is probably why its hard being like man aint no fucking way we went out like that. Im not for the see you in a few years shit, im not for the go fuck around like i aint give my heart, i was (am) a dumb nigga that went to to college before dropping out after missing all my classes so i could be attached virtually at the hip to them

Its not their fault and for years i didnt feel that at all.

But the second i saw that they felt like they wasted so much on me and this that whatever man my blood got to boiling on some seafood type shi

Its like

You can do evil

They can do evil

And be vindicated and justified in ya own right because in ya head this is just karma and you standing up for ya self and

Then its like i do evil snd immediately fold because i aint mean shi

Nigga got slammed by me 2 or three times

And everytime it was some bs

I let you convince i was being an ass for feeling threatened because " weight and height and muscle” but fucking niggas never care about perspectives

Yeah we are arguing

Yeah im loud, which is infuriating because my usual everyday speaking voice whether it because i subconsciously (now very actively) am aware of how loud i can be, is actually very quiet and i tend to have to repeat myself and even did to my ex because yeah

Fuck im so high man

Its been awhile since i ran out of actual medicine

Like i feel like ive said its been like two weeks for like a month now.

Now i gotta go through new everything, finding insurance, therapy, reassessments, medication changes, so much has happened and yet nothing has, i got fired today, i think, i mean i definitely got the text “Your assignment is finished do not return anymore” but this is the first temp agency really that ive been at , its just like

Like that?

Its kinda how sudden i end up either in or out of someones life, ex, family, friends

Sometimes i feel like ive been so many different me’s and am constantly “coming of age” (metaphorically speaking or in case thats ominous still, like i feel like i do in fact get older but do to circumstance, bad choices, and a lot of fuckening, i very much am learning alot of basic shit i shouldve known, or yes i am just now learning how to not be like donny on the wildthornberrys

I truly was happy and want to die everytime i think about how unhappy i made them

Make them

The wont miss me when i die because im alive and they surely dont is the thing i come back to whether wrong or not it is

Sometimes i cry about things i dont know are true bit definitely feel on my gut or for those in the loop my LN

You can keep my heart in dont want it anymore

I know realistically im bugging and i just feel bad and i need meds and yadayada yada

Im gonna be blunt with ya chief, im blowing my fucking brains out gn