#college!hongseok x you | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

julyarchives · 3 years ago

Text

DO or NOT (M)

“Come on, I’ll be a good boyfriend, I promise” he got up and reached his hand for you

“What are you doing?” you look at his hands, then at his face.

"Let's fix your mess, baby" he smiled proudly.

→ Pairing: Wooseok x Female Reader

→ Genre: Smut; Fluff; To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU

→ Words: 9.7K

→ A/n: Look at that word count, guys! We are so happy to finally put this story out there for you guys, we hope you all like it! Thank you for your kindness and patient, and special thanks to the non who requested this story!

It was all a misunderstanding, yet you felt like you could never leave your room ever again. It was your dream to get into art school and finish your major in fine arts with honors, and right now you felt like you had ruined it forever.

It started with a literature class project, in which you had to explore the genre of letters, and you combined it with your passion for romance novels, and you took a little inspiration from your real life. You wrote letters for every boy you’ve ever had a crush on since college started. It wasn’t necessarily big crushes - Jinho from the school choir, for example, you just find it beautiful when he sings his solos; or Changgu from the Swimming team, that is just stupidly hot. They didn’t necessarily mean you had feelings for those boys, you actually exaggerated most of them for the purpose of the assignment. They were just romanticized words to sound like something out of a Jane Austen Novel.

You had no problem doing the project, you actually enjoyed sitting alone for hours fantasizing about different romantic scenarios, but you were very grounded about all of that. The real problem was that somehow the letters, meant to only be seen by your professor, ended up mixed with your actual mail, and they were delivered to each boy you had addressed the letter to.

That was it, that was the end of you.

The real problem was when your ex-boyfriend Hongseok showed up with the distinguished turquoise envelope in hand, waiting for you before your first class started. You spotted the letter in his hand as soon as you saw him, and you wanted to run away as fast as you could.

Luckily, you had seen him before he saw you, and you just wanted to take the opportunity to flee, however, skipping class was absolutely no deal when this lecture was very important for the midterms, and the teacher had warned it beforehand. You couldn’t risk your graduation with honors over ex-boyfriend problems. Your mind was racing at a thousand miles per hour, and the best plan you could come up with was to hide in the restroom until he left, and get in the class just a few minutes late.

You turned around abruptly, intending to leave as fast as you could, but you failed to give the first step, instead of bumping into someone and sending your books to the floor with a loud thump. So much for not wanting to drag Hongseok’s attention, you thought. His eyes were on you, and he was about to walk towards you.

In panic mode, you grabbed the boy you have bumped into and told him loud enough for everyone around to hear

“Finally, baby!” your voice was ridiculously high pitched “there you are, I was about to walk into class without you, the professor is waiting!” you planted a peck on his lips, lingering it enough for hopefully Hongseok to see it.

Wooseok widened his eyes at your very off-character actions. After the kiss, you hugged him and whispered in his ear.

“Please, play along” you sounded desperate

Wooseok was a guy you met in your first year of art school. You met at a party and eventually stumbled onto each other again around campus. And yes, Wooseok was a recipient of one of your letters, but in the fight or flight situation, it was better to deal with him than with an ex.

“Let’s go, baby ” he complied, smirking at the fake pet name, and holding your waist as you walked into class together.

Hongseok, who had watched everything, stood still in his place, swallowing thickly when you walked past him in Wooseok’s arm, acknowledging him only with an impersonal nod.

You released yourself from Wooseok’s embrace and rushed to your seat, throwing yourself in the chair with a sigh of relief.

“So, Y/N, I got your letter” Wooseok approached swiftly, being all his flirty self, taking a seat beside you.

“Don’t flatter yourself, it’s not real” You rolled your eyes.

Wooseok is full of it.

“Yeah, sure. Don’t be embarrassed, everyone has a crush on me” he said proudly. “Plus, you just kissed me, that was real af.”

You didn’t even respond, opting instead for paying attention in the lecture and taking notes.

“I’ll explain better later, ok? I’m busy now.” You finally said when he didn’t stop staring at you.

He was annoyed at the lack of attention he was getting, and at first, you didn’t get why he was raising his hand

“Excuse me, professor, I’m so sorry to interrupt, but she’s not feeling well, can I take her to the infirmary?”

Your eyes widened when you saw him pointing at you. The whole class turned around to look at you, and your face was immediately red.

“What are you doing?!” you whispered to him.

“Making sure you’re not busy.” he whispered back.

The professor allowed - this boy got everything he wanted, you swear - on the condition that you would have to get the notes with someone later to catch up.

You silently left the room, with him following close behind. You made sure you were distant enough from the classroom before turning around to talk to Wooseok

“I can’t believe you did this!”

“At least now we can talk” he shrugged and opened a charming smile. “Don’t worry, I’ll ask someone later for the notes, you know he’s a nerd.”

Wooseok has always been the popular kid, knows everyone, and gets everything he wants. To be fair, he had all the charm and charisma for it, and it was easy to fall into his spell. Overall he was a nice person, just too cocky sometimes. He ended up being the subject of one of your letters because he had once helped you with a photography class. He is a music major and sometimes he performs at local bars and clubs for the rap scene, and he told you that you could photograph his performances. You scored a 10 and owed him forever, and in the end, you just had to admit that seeing him performing his own songs with so much presence and passion got you a tiny crush.

But it was nothing more than that, just a momentaneous crush, that ended as fast as it began.

Wooseok pulled out of his pocket your letter, the unmistakable golden ink in your calligraphy sparkling in the hallway lights. He waved it around and wiggled his eyebrows.

“Give that back!” you jumped at him, trying to snatch the letter from his hands.

He easily dodged you, lifting his arm and making it impossible for you to reach it.

“Ah-ah” he stopped you “first you have to admit you have a crush on me.”

“I have shit for you, Jung Wooseok” you couldn’t help but roll your eyes again.

“It’s not what you wrote here.” He smirked again.

“I’ll explain that to you, okay?” you admit defeat, sighing in annoyance this time “just not here, where someone may hear it and laugh at my misery.”

Wooseok chuckled, but complied, following you to the front yard and sitting down on a bench. The campus was empty, most students busy with their classes, so the peace and quiet were rather enjoyable. What was not pleasant is having to explain all the romantic words directed to the boy in front of you.

You were straightforward and told him about the lit class project, and about you finding him attractive after watching him perform.

“But that’s just it” you finished “it was just all drama and poetry for class, that’s all.”

Wooseok, who had listened to you rant suspiciously quietly, just nodded, but you could tell something was still on his mind.

“That doesn’t explain why you jumped me in the hall.” his lips curved wickedly.

You sighed one more time, laughing to yourself at how it was becoming your signature movement.

“Do you know Yang Hongseok?” you asked

“Yeah, we share a few classes.” he nodded

“And do you know he’s my ex?” your voice died down in embarrassment.

“I do, I remember seeing you two around together.” he shrugged.

“He got a letter,” you admitted as fast as you could, just to get this over with.

Wooseok busted out laughing, his loud voice echoing through the empty place.

“You, Y/F/N, are the dumbest person I’ve ever met.” he cleaned a few tears in the corner of his eyes. Without thinking twice, you punched his arm. “Ouch! That hurts!”

“Don’t make fun of me! That’s really embarrassing!” you groaned and hid your face in your palms

“Come on, you gotta admit it’s funny” he patted your back to comfort you, but his giggles were far from soothing. “Who else got a letter?”

“So many people, I hate myself.” you muffled your words against your hand.

“Who? I can help you find them and make everything clear. I can even pretend to be your boyfriend again, so they don’t think you’re in love with them.”

“Ok, fine” you sat up straight, but not having the guts to look at him while you spilled your most embarrassing secrets. “There’s Adachi Yuto, from the baseball team.”

“Okay, that’s easy, he lives with me. Who else?”

“Lee Hwitaek”

“The President of The School Council?! You’re such a dork”

“Yan An and Ko Shinwon, but they are my best friends."

"I'm gonna pretend that's not weird but ok" he shrugged "it will be easy to clear things up, then"

"Yeo Changgu, Kang Hyunggu, and Jo Jinho” you said it in one breath, mumbling through your teeth

Wooseok’s eyes widened, and he blinked in silence for a couple of seconds, processing the information dump.

“Y/N, you’re a player!” he made fun of you, bumping your shoulders “Lucky you, I know them all, we can clear things up easily.”

“You don’t have to pretend to date me, though”

“And how will you explain things to Hongseok without sounding like you are still obsessed with your ex?” he puffed his chest like he made the wisest observation.

You just groaned and buried your face again on your palms.

“Come on, I’ll be a good boyfriend, I promise” he got up and reached his hand for you

“What are you doing?” you look at his hands, then at his face.

"Let's fix your mess, baby" he smiled proudly.

You just shook your head and got up, taking his hand and he led the way. He didn't let go of you once you were up, and his big hand wrapped around yours made you feel tiny and giddy.

"Ok, where do we go first?" He asked

"Shinwon and Yanan have already seen it, I told them about the letter when I first wrote it, so they are cool with it." You said.

"You had a crush on both of your friends, man" He almost yelled, "really, you got game."

"I told you it's not a crush!" You whined, "they are just people that inspired me, it was easy to write from reference."

"Sure" he teased, squeezing your hand "the swim team is practicing right now, so we might catch Changgu when he's done."

You nodded and let him lead you to the pool.

Wooseok found his way there quickly, and the coach spotted him as soon as he opened the door.

"Hey, Jung" he yelled, "here to reconsider my offer to join the team?"

"Not today, old man" Wooseok shook his hand and they tapped each other on the shoulder, but you were really shocked at the way he spoke freely with a member of the academia. "I'm just here because my girlfriend needs to talk to one of your boys, is Changgu here?"

"You're his girlfriend?" The coach asked you, looking surprised.

You froze in place until Wooseok gave you an encouraging nod.

"Yeah, I guess" was all you managed to say, your cheeks burning hot.

"Man, it beats me how this prick gets pretty girls to like him," he said with a loud laugh, which you played along. "Don't hesitate to smack him in the head if he starts to annoy you, he probably deserves it."

"Will do, sir" you chuckled shyly

"Changgu will be free when the practice is done, but you can wait in the bleachers meanwhile."

"Thank you, Mr. Kim." You said after spotting his name embroidered on his polo shirt.

"See you around, kiddo." He said to Wooseok "the offer is still up whenever you reconsider."

"Thanks!" Wooseok said before holding your hand and guiding you two to your seat.

Once settled in place, he threw one arm around you cockily, acting like it was the most natural thing in the world.

"Why do you talk to the coach like that?" You finally asked, feeling tiny in his hold

"I don't know, he's a cool guy" he shrugged, dismissing your shock

"You really do get away with everything, don't you?" You shook your head

"That's the perk of having my endless charm" he puffed his chest, smirking sideways "everyone fall for it"

You could only scoff in response.

"By the way" he continued "you do know Kino is gay, right?"

"Who's Kino?" You asked confused

"Hyunggu."

"Oh." You blinked "yeah, right, totally."

You didn't.

"Why did you tell the coach I am your girlfriend?" You questioned

"Well, if you are going to lie, lie to everybody. That way only you know the truth, so your cover won't blow."

"Seems like you lie a lot, Jung Wooseok" you arched one eyebrow.

"And you don't, Mrs goodie-two-shoes?" He mocked.

"I do not, why would I lie?" You answered.

Wooseok tightened his hold on you, not letting you back away when he leaned his face closer to yours, looking you in the eyes and licking his lips.

"So that means everything you wrote to me was true" his voice dropped a couple of octaves.

The proximity and the vibration of his deep tone made you freeze in his arms, searching for words to refute his argument.

"That was not lying," you turned your face to avoid falling for his inevitable body language eloquence "that was a poetic license, it's different."

"Yeah, right" he scoffed, leaning away from you." you're cute when you're lying."

"I'm not lying!" You protested. "And I'm not cute" you mumbled the last part.

The rest of the period was spent in silence, Wooseok stopped taunting you and paid attention to his phone while you watched the athletes in the pool.

Changgu was easy to spot, his toned figure standing out from his teammates, as well as his perfect timing every lap, and seeing him made you remember why he was an easy subject to write about. You two know each other because you went to one of Shinwon's soccer team parties, and of course, every varsity athlete was there. He was the one who initiated contact, and the flirting led to a hookup, but nothing else has ever happened between you two.

Which makes the fact that he received a love letter from you very awkward. But it was something you had to inevitably face, so be as it may.

When practice was over, Wooseok motioned to get up, but you stopped him.

"I think it's better if less than one person watches me embarrassing myself." You pleaded.

You waited by the locker room door for him, and to your despair, he crossed the door along with his teammates. So much for discretion. They walked past you, not noticing your presence, too distracted in their conversation. You stepped up and taped Changgu’s shoulder, making him turn on his heels to see you.

“Hi,” you said shyly “Can I talk to you for a second?”

“Of course” he smiled at you after dismissing his colleagues, who left only after giggling and teasing you

“So, I don’t know how to begin to explain this, but-” you started to explain but he cut you off.

“Is this about the letter I got this morning?” His expression was smug.

“Yeah, it is” you sighed “but you see, that was not what I seemed. I didn’t mean any of that, it was only for a project of my lit class and-” you were fidgeting with your fingers when he interrupted you again

“So you mean I don’t have an Adonis body sculpted by the most benevolent of the gods?” his smirk only grew wider

You fought the urge to facepalm, but your words got caught up in your throat

“I’m just messing with you” he laughed softly “But I am flattered. I just don’t see you that way-”

“No, no!” it was your turn to interrupt “I’m not in love with you or anything creepy, in fact, my boyfriend is right there waiting for me” you pointed to Wooseok, who waited for you a few meters behind “He even knows about this whole mess and is cool with it.”

“You’re dating Wooseok?” he asked, surprised.

“Yeah” you hesitantly affirmed, “But as I was saying, this was a project for my literature class and it is completely exaggerated and over the top, so don’t take it too seriously, ok?”

“I see,” he nodded “but I’m not gonna lie, I liked reading that.”

A charming smile lit upon his face, much like the ones he flashed you when you two met.

“Thank you” you felt flustered at the random compliment.

“see you around, then, Y/N”

You said goodbye and watched him leave, catching up with his friends at the end of the hall, and it was only then that Wooseok approached you

“So, how was it?” he asked enthusiastically

“Surprisingly easy,” you said, smiling to yourself “definitely less embarrassing than I thought it would be. Though he seemed to roll with it easier when I said you were my boyfriend”

“Told you it was a good plan” he bragged “ready for another one?”

“Yes,” you nodded enthusiastically, the success of the first talk encouraging you.

“Great, ‘cause Kino is coming” he pointed

“Already?!” you turned around to see the boy walking towards you

“You can do this, let’s go” Wooseok held your hand and pulled you over to meet Kino halfway

“Hey, guys,” Kino said when you met

“What’s up” Wooseok casually reached his hand for him, who made this weird personal high five thing.

“You two know each other?” you asked, looking between them.

“Yeah, we share a bunch of classes” Kino was the one that answered “But I actually wanted to talk to you”

“The letter, I know” you sighed “I’m sorry, that was a little creepy, I know, but it was just some writing for my lit class, I swear they are not literal”

“It’s fine, I really enjoyed it. You’re a great writer.” His soft voice was actually soothing.

“Oh,” you definitely weren’t expecting that. “Thank you”

“Why me, though?” he asked, “you do know I’m gay, right?”

“Yeah, of course.” you lied, remembering how you just found out not even an hour ago “it’s just that I remember when we were friends in high school, I had a lot of good memories and it was easy to write about that.”

Wooseok watched you attentively, your hand still securely clasped inside his, which gave you a surprising calming feeling.

“I’m really flattered, that’s amazing. Do you mind if I keep it? The letter?” Kino asked

“I guess not” you answered with a little bit of confusion as to why he wanted that, but it was easier to just comply.

“Thank you” he smiled gratefully “Let’s keep in touch, yes?”

“Of course!” you felt happy at the proposal, reviving an old friendship is always a good thing “thank you for being so nice about this.”

“Don’t worry” he answered. “I’ll see you two around then. By the way, you guys are a cute couple”

“Thanks, man” it was Wooseok who answered when you choked “see ya”

Kino walked away and Wooseok led you two once again.

“That wasn’t so bad,” he said once you two were alone again

“Not at all,” you answered “I’m surprised how easy this has been. Thank you so much for helping me, really”

“Nah, this is fun, you don’t have to thank me” he shrugged “by the way, I already cleared things with Yuto”

“You did?” When?” You looked at him in surprise

“During swimming practice, I texted him, it was easy because he hadn’t even read it yet. I told him it was something private that was mailed by accident, he said he will return it.”

“You’re an angel, really” you stopped in your tracks and hugged him, feeling truly grateful and relieved.

Wooseok knew how to find Jinho because they also shared classes, and you were suddenly aware how much you easily had crushes on singers and performers, but that was an issue for you to ponder over later. Jinho was overall understanding, but it was significantly more awkward because you’ve never properly talked to each other.

“See it as a fan mail” you tried to explain “I just really enjoy watching you singing, you’re really talented”

The last one you had to find was Hwitaek, or Hui, as he asked to be called when you two first met, and you knew that the student council met that day so it was easy to find your way into the auditorium where they gathered.

You entered the place quietly and watched as they discussed some campus issues.

"You didn't tell me Hongseok was part of the student council," Wooseok whispered to you, sliding one hand around your shoulder, the action becoming natural to him

"Yup." You gulped "why do you think I came here last?"

"Hey" he called you, placing both hands on your shoulder, turning you to face him, and staring you in the eyes. "It will be fine, don't worry"

You took a deep breath, smiling at him in gratitude.

Before you could register anything else, Wooseok pulled you closer, one hand in your neck and the other in your waist, arching your body so your lips could meet his.

His kiss was intense, and your body responded to him in a reflex. You embraced his neck, hands digging into his shaggy hair. The way your tongues danced together in perfect synch made you sigh into the kiss, and Wooseok pulled you even closer. For a second you forgot where you were and what you were there for, and the world became a bubble that only you and he existed in, and you just allowed yourself to live in that limited fantasy.

When you two pulled away, you were out of breath, knocked out of reality. Wooseok still held you in his embrace when a lopsided smirk stretched on his lips.

"Hongseok spotted you" his low voice vibrated on his chest that was flushed against yours.

"Oh" you muttered, feeling your cheeks grow red "right"

You cleared your throat and stepped back, releasing yourself from him for the second time that day.

Wooseok found your hand again and pulled you to the last row of chairs where you two sat quietly until the meeting was over. Every time you tried to come up with something to say you ran out of words, still too embarrassed for all that went on when you were kissing him. He, on the other hand, didn’t seem to be troubled at all.

Coming clean to Hui was easy, especially because he was in the same class, writing for that project himself. However he was very shy about it, but having Wooseok casually throwing one possessive arm around your shoulder could be quite intimidating. In the end, he didn’t say much, mostly just agreeing and nodding to whatever you said, but never once he was less than nice to you.

"Okay, now there's only Hongseok left," Wooseok said when Hui left, making you gulp loudly. He still held you in his sideways embrace "but we have a problem."

"What is it now?" You said, feeling mentally exhausted already.

Wooseok pointed and you looked just in time to see Hongseok closing the door behind him.

"He didn't wait for you" he punctuated.

"Oh, come on" your shoulder slumped

"It's fine, we can get him tomorrow." Wooseok tried to encourage you

"But tomorrow Saturday, and I don't really know his schedule to meet him on Monday" The defeat seeped through your voice "Besides, I don't want to take any more of your time"

"Nah, it's fine" he shrugged "You're a good fake girlfriend"

You didn't understand why you took that as praise, but the butterflies in your stomach did not hide the fact that you liked what he said.

"Let me at least pay you lunch for all the trouble." You proposed.

"I take it back, you're the best fake girlfriend" he smiled.

…

"This restaurant is so good, oh my God." He said, munching on his food while you had already finished yours. "you should take me out more, Y/N"

"Why didn't we hang out more?" You questioned, "we had so much fun when I photographed you."

"Right? I remember that I liked having you around after my gigs"

"We actually kept in touch after that, because I remember seeing you around campus and talking to you. Why did we stop talking, though?"

"Right, I remember" Wooseok deflated

"What?" You asked when his smile turned awkward "did I do something wrong?"

"No, actually not." He scratched his neck "We lost touch when you started dating Hongseok. He seemed very possessive of you, and I thought he would get jealous if we talked."

"That's nonsense," you said genuinely surprised, trying to remember what it was like, but you two broke up last year and your memory was kind of blurry.

"Oh, come on, he used to parade you around like a trophy, no one had the guts to get near you." He rolled his eyes.

"What an asshole" you blurted, frowning.

Wooseok's thunderous laugh echoed around the place, causing a couple of dirty looks at your table.

"That was adorable" he cleaned a tear at the corner of his eye.

"No, I mean it. He shouldn't act like I belong to him and keep people from talking to me."

"No, he didn't stop anyone." He tried to explain "it was just the energy, that's all"

"He was a good boyfriend.." you reminisced

"...but?" Wooseok encouraged you to continue

"No buts, really."

"Is it invasive if I ask why you two broke up?" His tone was cautious

"Wooseok, don't you know the foundation of a relationship?" You joked "how do you want to be my fake boyfriend if you don't think I can share my love failures with you?"

"My bad, I didn't know fake relationships had rules too." He held his hands up in defense and you laughed fondly at him.

"Anyway, we broke up because we wanted different things." You shrugged "I guess I just wanted to do my thing without being just 'Hongseok's girlfriend', you know?"

"I see" he nodded.

"You shouldn't be afraid to talk to me, silly" you softly flickered his forehead across the table.

"That was rude, how dare you" he acted offended, making you giggle.

"Next time I'm dating someone you have the obligation of keeping in touch with me" you huffed

"I wouldn't worry about that" He opened a sheepish grin

"Why's that?" You raised your eyebrow suspiciously, resting your elbow on the table to support your chin on the palm of your hand.

"Because right now you are my girlfriend" he leaned back on his seat, eyeing you up and down.

You let out a breathy chuckle, shaking your head.

"Yeah, sorry, you're stuck with me for now," you said half-heartedly, feeling guilty for bringing him into your problems.

"Nah, I'm having fun." He shrugged "But you'll have to do something for me."

"Shoot. I owe you big time, can't say no."

"I'm throwing a party tomorrow, half of the campus will be there."

"Why am I not surprised?" You remembered how popular he actually is.

"You'll have to be there." He used puppy eyes to convince you

"No way, Wooseok." You rolled your eyes "I don't know anyone there."

“Hongseok will probably be there, though” he argued “so you can get this over with”

You quietly ponder over your options.

"Fine." You concluded, "It's better to get this over with anyway."

"Great, I'll text you the details later."

You sighed, massaging your temples to uselessly try to soothe your stress.

…

Wooseok's house was crowded when you got there, and the music could be heard from a block away. You crossed the front yard, which was full of people too, and you were sure that student housing has some norms against this type of agglomeration, but then again, Wooseok gets away with anything.

You briefly stopped at the door, just to text him, letting him know that you arrived, and quickly let yourself in. The music was even louder inside, the vibrations of the heavy bass trembling all over your body. Indeed, half of the campus was there, red solo cups in hand and bodies moving to the rhythm of the music.

The fact that you were alone made you feel suddenly shy, and you shrink into yourself to try to make your way through the house. It was a struggle to the wall around the party, but the sooner you found Wooseok the better.

Your best bet was the kitchen, and after walking a little while you found your way there. It was significantly emptier, but still no sign of your friend anywhere. Turning on your heels, you tried to leave and search for him somewhere else, but instead, you stumbled onto someone.

"Oh, I'm sorry" you immediately said

"Y/N?"

Of course, it had to be him

"Oh" you gulped "Hongseok, hi"

He smiled at you, and you two stared at each other in silence for a couple of seconds.

"I've been meaning to talk to you." He said, and you could feel your whole body freezing.

"Yeah, I've been trying to reach you too. There's something I need to explain." You ran your hands through your hair, nervously fidgeting with it.

"Can we go somewhere quieter?" He proposed and you nodded, following him to the front porch.

On the way, you heard your name being shouted over the loud music, and soon enough Wooseok was right behind you.

"Hey, you made it!" He greeted you cheerfully, but his smile dropped when he saw Hongseok with you "is everything okay?"

He asked looking into your eyes, a line of concern creasing his forehead, and his hand immediately found yours.

"Yeah, it's fine, don't worry." You gave his hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Anything happens and you can call me, ok? I'll hold on to my phone" He waited for you to nod in agreement and it was almost mindlessly the way he lingered a peck on your lips.

And his action wasn't as surprising to you as the way you reciprocated automatically, already used to Wooseok's touch.

You also didn't miss the way Hongseok turned his face when he saw you two together.

Once you two got alone outside, he was the first to speak.

"So you and Wooseok are a thing now?" His tone was careful

"Yeah" you didn't know what else to say.

"How long has that been going on?"

"It's been some time" you were never a good liar, and Hongseok's presence somehow made you feel insecure.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to pry." He backed away, clearing his throat "I was just curious."

Everything went quiet again, but the anxiety was weighing too much for you to just wait in silence.

"You’re here to talk about the letter, right?" You finally mentioned the big elephant in the room.

"Yes, I was surprised to see that." He chuckled emotionlessly. "Did you mean all those things you said?"

You frowned to yourself, trying to remember exactly what you had written to him. You remember talking about craving the feeling of being safe in his arms and him reciting your body like poetry. Something passion and desire burning like twin flames. Everything was a little scrambled but you had gotten the gist.

"Yes and no." You concluded, but he only tilted his head in confusion. "Once I may have meant everything I said. I did this for a romantic literature assignment and writing about you was easy because I didn't have to come up with lies. I just revisited some feelings kept deep inside."

"I can't lie to you, Y/N, I-" he chimed in, and it was ironic to see the eloquent member of the student council stumbling onto his words "when I first read your letter it was… it brought me back in time, you know?" His hand found its way to yours, which rested on the balustrade.

He held onto you like he was pleading for mutuality.

"I really liked having you by my side and seeing what you said got me wondering what would have happened if I hadn't let you go."

"Hongseok, I-I don't even know what to say." You felt a tornado inside your head.

"Haven't you ever thought about that? I mean, you wrote that to me, that you think of me." He stepped closer to you, bringing your hands up to his chest.

"Hongseok, it's not that simple." Your gaze strayed from him

"Yeah, no, you're right." He finally let go of you, shaking his head. "What was I thinking, you have a boyfriend now."

You didn't miss the shift of his tone at the word boyfriend, and knowing Hongseok as you did, you knew that he actually meant to say 'I'm better than him

"Do you remember why we broke up?" You asked him.

"I remember we wanted different things." He pointed.

"It's not quite like that" your words were soft-spoken "I wanted something different. I wanted to do my own thing, but in your life, there was no room for another person."

Hongseok didn’t answer, so you continued

"I have not been dating Wooseok for so long," you finally looked directly into his eyes again "but he supported me so much more than you ever did. He makes time for me and he takes care of me in his own way."

"I'm sorry, Y/N, I was so stupid." Hongseok lowered his head.

You reached your palm and cupped his cheek, making him look at you.

"You were never a bad boyfriend." You caressed his smooth skin with your thumb "we're just not meant for each other. One day you will find someone that fits into your life perfectly, and that letter that I sent you will be in your past like it is for me."

You inched closer and planted a soft kiss on his cheeks.

"I'll see you around, Hongseok"

Turning around, you let out the breath you hadn't noticed you were holding, and you let the loud music engulf you as you entered back to the party.

You felt yourself shaking from the anxiety of what you just went through, and it was so hard to process that Hongseok asked to get back together, that your head was spinning a little, but when it came down to it, you felt proud of yourself for the way you handled it.

You wandered around the party not really sure what to do until you spotted Wooseok amongst his friends. He had his back turned to you, and you fonded at the way he kept his phone in hand, truly waiting for you in case you texted.

He truly was the life of the party, everyone surrounding him laughing at something he said while he gesticulated big, telling a story eloquently. You felt shy to just approach him while he was the center of attention, but you couldn't wait to celebrate with him.

Slowly you reached up and gave his shoulder a soft pat, and his lips curved into a smile upon seeing you. He stopped everything he was doing and his arm automatically rested across your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

"Hey," he said so softly that you were sure only you could hear. His doe eyes stared at you and you felt at ease. "Are you alright?"

You bit your bottom lip and curved the corners into a shy smile, nodding a silent yes to his question, to which he responded by snuggling you closer to him.

"What happened? Tell me everything." He asked excitedly. You told how things went and how you handled it, and he gasped in surprise "Holy shit, I was not expecting that from Hongseok. But I mean, it's obvious where he's coming from, he's not dumb."

He shrugged nonchalantly, but you stared at him trying to figure out what he meant.

"Anyway" he trailed before you could ask anything "I'm gonna get us some drinks to celebrate, stay here."

You nodded again, feeling tiny due to the way he had to crouch down to look you in the eyes and ask you to not move places so he doesn't lose you.

You fidget with the hem of your shirt, looking around and basking in the party environment, the people around you having fun and the music moving them, it was pleasant and it all contributed to the feeling of happiness warming up your insides. It might also have something to do with your company for the night, but you weren't sure if you were ready to admit that just yet.

You were taken out of your head when you heard someone calling your name.

"So you're the notorious Y/N" Yuto stood by your side, his deep voice almost startling you. "It's nice to put a face to the name."

"Yeah, I don't think we've been introduced, right? Nice to meet you" you said politely, and surprisingly confident, the latest occurrences giving you an extra boost.

"Wooseok asked me to give this back to you." He took your letter out of his pocket and handed it to you, still sealed for your relief.

"Thank you so much" you took it, shoving it in your purse as fast as you could.

"In fact," he continued "he hasn't shut up about you, it's almost annoying." He chuckled sweetly.

"Really?" You involuntarily smiled, and awfully aware of the way butterflies danced around your stomach upon hearing that.

"I didn't know you were dating, but he seems really excited to be around you lately, so it's good to see you two together." He offered a kind smile in return

"Stop scaring my girlfriend, dude" Wooseok chimed in, handing you a red solo cup and back to his usual hold on you, so casually that you were almost getting used to it. Almost.

"If she's dating you, I'm pretty sure she doesn't scare easily." Yuto snaked a reply while leaving you and Wooseok alone again

"So," Wooseok said, "Wanna go dance?"

"Oh, no, no." You waved defensively "I would just embarrass the both of us"

"Don't be silly, it will be fun, let's go" he grabbed your hand and guided you two through the crowd, finding a good spot.

It was amazing to watch him dance freely and just enjoy himself while you mostly opted to move your knees and bounce yourself, keeping it low-key while sipping on your drink.

It took you back to thinking about why you first chose him to write about.

You admired Wooseok's laid-back attitude and over-the-top confidence. He had this charm that it was annoyingly attractive, and all of that just being his genuine self. And after everything he's done for you, although it could not seem much, at first sight, was a crucial part of why you made it through.

You didn't lie to Hongseok when you said those things about Wooseok, and all of that just made you want to get closer to him, even with this crazy fake boyfriend story in the middle, in a couple of days he gave you a better relationship than the ones you have had. You might be wrong and that was just because you haven't spent enough time with him, but still it felt so genuine that you wondered how the real thing would work.

"You're in your head again, aren't you?" Wooseok waved his hand in front of you.

"Sorry" you shook your head trying to get rid of those thoughts, giggling shyly.

"Come on, have some fun with me, or people will think I'm a terrible boyfriend," he said without faltering his serious expression, but you let out a soft laugh

He held both of your hands and waved them around in the rhythm of the music. It was fantastic how he got you to loosen up and soon enough you were dancing and jumping around, yelling the lyrics at each other, and it was easy to forget about your surroundings when you could just focus on having fun with him.

He had your attention the same way you had his. He didn’t mind ditching his friends for the night if he was spending time with you, and seeing you having fun so freely was the most precious thing, especially when you sang together with him with a big smile spread on your face, which was extremely hard for him to keep his eyes off.

And when you noticed his gaze falling to your lips, you couldn’t help but to do the same to him, and you just gravitate towards each other, his hands dinging your waist and pulling you closer, and suddenly you two weren’t jumping around anymore, and both of your moves slowed down to fit your bodies together, now moving in synch against each other. His eyes searched your for reassurance, trying to find any sign that he was crossing a line, but when he found you so focused on his own lips and you slowly leaning towards him, he didn’t think twice about ending the distance between you, capturing you in a kiss that he’s been dying to feel since the minute he first spotted you in the party.

He kissed you before, and it was a surprise to you, but maybe because now he saw you reciprocating it before it even began, it just hit differently when your soft lips met his, and he was glad the loud music muffled the sound of the sigh of satisfaction that escaped him. The kiss was slow like you were just savoring each other, and your thumbs caressing his cheeks made him feel like melting under your touch.

The closer you felt the closer you wanted to get, and when you just had to pull always for air, your foreheads touched and your feet just kept on dancing, giggling to each other like two teenagers who had their first kiss, and your need to feel it again excited you to an unfamiliar degree.

The acquaintanceship with it came naturally, and the night passed too fast for your liking. The songs started to slow down, the conversations became hushed and the house was getting emptier and emptier.

You and Wooseok found the couch empty and threw yourselves down, you resting your head on his shoulders as he cuddled you closer.

"How do you feel now that you're free of the whole letters' odyssey?" He asked, running his hand through his hair, letting the strands fall back into place, beautifully framing his face.

"It's so fucking relieving" you sighed "Thank you so much for putting up with all of that."

"Eh, it's been fun" he shrugged trying to act nonchalant, but the smirk on his face said otherwise

"Well, at least now you're free of your fake girlfriend and can go back to charming every other girl on campus." You joked, but you couldn't help but feel a little disappointed at that realizations

Wooseok laughed and shook his head.

"Jeez," He leaned closer, looking you in the eyes with noses almost bumping "You're the densest person I've ever met"

"Hey! That's not true!" You protested, turning your face around, and he nuzzled the sweet spot on your neck, just under your earlobe.

"Stay the night?" He asked in a low voice that vibrated close to your ear, only for you to hear, and followed with a feathery kiss on your cheek. You closed your eyes, enjoying his touch while it lingered, to only then look at him and nod, and his grin at your response made you shiver in anticipation.

He got up and reached his hand for you to take it, which you gladly accepted, and he led you away from the party, turning into a corridor where everything was already quiet, finishing his path in through a door down the hall.

Entering the room, you recognize unmistakable as his. There was just something about the messy stack of papers on the desk next to a chunky headphone, the hip hop posters on the wall and the black comforters that screamed ‘Wooseok’. He gently took your purse, which you were clinging to because you just didn’t know what to do with yourself anymore, every step into the room making your stomach freeze with expectation, and he placed it on the desk.

“Sorry it’s a little messy” he sat on the edge of the bed, leaning his weight in his hands that rested on the soft mattress, and his voice sounded soft, hushing the words like it was a secret between the two of you.

“It’s ok” you walked closer to him, looking around trying to capture every small unique detail. “It’s cozy” you concluded as you stood in between his spread legs.

Wooseok leaned back and laced his hands around your back, slowly climbing their way up inside your shirt, the skin contact making goosebumps rise on your skin and you gasp softly. When he pulled you closer you climbed up the bed, straddling him until your chests were pressed together, and you intertwined your fingers in his hair, initiating the kiss yourself this time.

You felt Wooseok's shoulder relax as your lips touched, and neither of you felt the need to rush things. His tongue asked for passage and when you let him your body felt ecstatic, just like it happened when you kissed on the dance floor. Something about kissing Wooseok felt at the same time familiar and exhilarating.

And it wasn't the first time you were kissing, but you were just as excited. His fingertips grazed along the line of your spine slowly, like he was trying to memorize the curve of your back while you were pressed against him. When he had to pull away for air, he just couldn't keep away from you and trailed kisses down your jawline and neck.

"This is going pretty far for a fake relationship." You teased, tugging his hair just the slightest.

"Don't ruin this" he shushed you, and you giggled "just enjoy it."

He held onto your waist and squeezed your sides while sucking a spot on your neck, making you hiss in pleasure, and you involuntarily grinded down on his lap. Immediately you felt him grinning against your skin.

He felt bolder after your response to him and dared to raise his touch on you, hiking up your shirt as so, until you pulled back and lifted your arms, silently giving him permission to take it off of you. Once he was done with it, you tugged at the hem of his shirt, and he took it off of you.

"You are so gorgeous" he watched you with hungry eyes, and you felt yourself blushing.

As you kissed him again, avoiding having to formulate a coherent response to his praise, you felt his hands find their way up your body until they were cupping your breasts over your bra, his fingers molding against your curves as he squeezes them, and that made a breathy moan escape your lips.

Feeling desperate to just have you for him, Wooseok swiftly switched positions, making your back hit his mattress and he positioned in between your legs. Just like that, he unbuttoned your jeans and slid it off of you, his own pants following next, leaving you two in your underwear.

He eagerly leaned over you, anxious to kiss you again, and you welcomed him like two puzzle pieces fitting together, only this time you were too aware of the bulge in his underwear as he grinded in between your hips, giving you some release to the pressuring pleasure that built up with every touch of his.

Without breaking the kiss, he took your bra off, his fingers immediately finding your nipples and toying with them as you arch your back to press yourself against his touch. He only let go to have his fingers replaced with his mouth, the tongue skillfully circling around your sensitive bud.

"Wooseok" you let his name fall from your lips, to which he hummed in response

"You like that, baby?" He looked up at you, licking your nipples right after finishing his words.

You bit your bottom lip and nodded.

"Maybe it would be better if I do something else too?" One of his hands slid its way down your stomach, the tip of his fingers stopping at the hem of your panties. "Can I?"

"Yes, please" you buckled your hips against his hands, and he smirked as he lowered his hands further, reaching your wet slit.

One of his fingers ran along your pussy, spreading your wetness around your clit, making you squirm as he brushed over just the right spot.

"Fuck, Wooseok, right there" you gasped as he repeated the movement "please keep doing that."

He studied your face for a mere second, chuckling proudly before capturing your nipple in his lips again, all the stimulation bringing you heaven.

You grabbed his hair, tugging it to contain your own pleasure, and he hummed in approval to you. A knot started building up in your lower belly the more he moved, and you were already embarrassingly close.

Then you felt his touch spot, feeling it going down to your entrance instead, and two of his fingers entered you effortlessly, pumping in and out of you. He let go of your breast, leaning up and using his free hand to take off your panties.

"You look hot, shit." He praised you again "you're taking my fingers so well."

He leaned back down and kissed you roughly, lust clouding the whole room around you. When his thumb found your clitoris you gasped into the kiss, and Wooseok nibbled your lip.

"Are you going to cum for me, baby?" He whispered in your ear, and you held onto his shoulders, nails digging a little into his skin

"I'm so close" you mumbled, and he fastened his pace

"Let me see it, I bet you look beautiful when you cum. Show it to me, Y/N" he said before sucking in your nipple again.

Your body reacted to him like an order, and you closed your eyes as an orgasm took over you, making you tremble under him, moaning louder every time his finger hit the perfect spot inside you.

"Fuck" you gasped once he slid off of you, your chest rising up and down fast.

He opened his mouth to say something, but you used your weight to throw him beside you, climbing on top of his right next, and the surprised expression on his face was quickly replaced with a much naughtier one

You lowered yourself, taking his underwear off, letting his cock bounce back against his stomach.

"Do you have a condom?" You asked.

Wooseok reached for a drawer in his nightstand and tossed you a packet. You wasted no time opening the foil and taking his member into your hand, jerking it a few times, testing the right speed and pressure to just see him close his eyes and throw his head back in pleasure.

When you stopped moving, his eyes shot open and he watched you unroll the rubber down his length.

You moved upwards, your hips sitting against his, and you leaned down to kiss him again, savoring his taste unhurriedly, and he didn't hesitate to match your intensity.

You began to move your hips slowly, feeling your pussy press against his cock, putting the right amount of pressure to make him hiss in pleasure.

Continuing to move, you trailed wet kisses down his jaw and neck, sucking and biting softly the skin before running your tongue along the spot to soothe it.

"I didn't know you were such a tease" he grunted.

"I didn't know you were in a rush" you retorted, grinning at him.

"I've got all night, baby, but I'd much rather spend it inside you." He said, a hint of desperation showing through his voice.

Your chuckle died in your throat as he grabbed your hips and bucked his own, grinding the right away to press his dick against your clit, and you moaned involuntarily.

"I think you agree with me" Woosek said, smirking victoriously.

"Jerk" you slapped his chest and laughed softly.

His hand reached up and caressed your cheek while he looked at you with big fond eyes, and it felt so intimate that you were sure you were blushing.

"Don't look at me like that" you fought the urge to cover yourself.

"Why not?" He cocked his head "you look so beautiful, I just had an urge"

You leaned your body down and pressed a soft kiss to his lips

“I think this is a point of no return for us, right?” your voice barely came out, a faint whisper, afraid of the meaning they carry.

“I don’t know how many fake relationships you’ve had, but I’m pretty sure they never involve seeing each other naked, so we’re past the point of no return” Wooseok shrugged, his chest pressed against yours and his arms wrapping around you in a comforting hug. He kissed you again, and it didn’t surprise how it was just natural at this point to mold your lips together perfectly.

“Shit, you’re right” you giggled when he pulled away. “Okay, we’re doing this.”

You took a deep breath in a poor attempt to make your heart stop racing.

“We’ll be fine” Wooseok reassured, and you just nodded at him, putting all the truth you have in his words.

You sat up and reached your hand in between the two of you, aligning his member with your entrance and letting him penetrate you slowly, his gasp accompanied the rhythm of the movement.

Staying still, you gave yourself time to adjust to his size, and his thumb caressed your hips, his touch always so gentle. You finally started rocking your hips and Wooseok threw his head back in pleasure, a few whimpers escaping his lips. You remembered you two dancing together earlier, and how his eyes couldn’t leave your hips when you were dancing, and you tried to move on top of him just like that, his whimpers turning to lazy moans as you moved slowly, and you smirked proudly at the reactions you were getting from him.

Wooseok, always a brat, grabbed your hips a little stronger and used it as leverage to flip your positions, rolling easily on top of you, making you yelp in surprise, and the way he towered over you made you feel suddenly shy, chuckling at his victorious grin. He thrust slowly, picking up the pace with no rush, his eyes glued on yours, and the loving expression on his face made butterflies dance in your stomach.

Adjusting his hips, Wooseok hit the perfect spot inside you, making you moan his name louder than you intended, but fortunately, it was just another enticement to him, as he kept thrusting you deep and fast. Inevitably, the pleasure starts building up in your lower belly, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer. Your walls tightened around him, and his moves started getting sloppier.

“Y/N, I’m gonna-” he barely finished the sentence, cutting himself off with a moan.

You reached down and circled your clit just how you like it, bringing yourself to the edge with him, and the room was filled with both of your moans and curses.

When Wooseok threw himself by your side, his hand cupped your cheek, bringing you closer for a deep passionate kiss, but it didn’t last long, both of you needing air too fast, chests rising up and down from the intense orgasm you had.

You quietly watched him take the condom off, tying it up and discarding it on a bin next to the bed, and when he laid again on your side, covering your lower halves with his blanket, you pulled him closer, laying your head on his chest, tracing random patterns with your fingertips on his belly.

“Is this the part where we talk about what this all means?” you mumbled against his skin.

“I guess,” he snuggled you closer, and you looked up at him “this means we may be, just maybe, dating for reals?” it was supposed to be an affirmation, but his tone was more like a question.

“But Wooseok, we barely know each other, we haven’t even had a first date, what if-”

“Y/N” he interrupted your rant, “everyone thinks we’re dating already. It’s safe to say we get along really well. The chemistry here?” he pointed between you two “wow.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at his silliness, but you couldn’t deny that he had a good point. Everything inside you screamed to be near him, and you don’t want to be stupid and ignore that.

“Fine.” you pouted, then pecked his lips. “But you owe me a date nevertheless.”

“Breakfast date, tomorrow when we wake up, how does that sound?” He proposed, and you pretended to think about it, making him nervous with all the suspense.

“It’s a date then.” you giggled.

“Okay, then,” he wiggled his eyebrows “ girlfriend ”

You wanted to make a snarky comeback, but all your brain could register is that Wooseok is your boyfriend, and all the giddiness inside you turned you into mush, and he laughed at your sudden shyness.

“I like how that sounds.” you confessed, almost inaudible.

“Get used to it, then,” he kissed you briefly “You’ll be hearing it a lot from now on.”

Taglist: @bunnybunnywoo

#ksmutclub #wooseok #smut #wooseok smut #to all the boys i've loved before au #wooseok x female reader #pentagon #pentagon imagine #kpop #kpop scenario #pentagon smut #pentagon scenario #kpop fanfic #pentagon fanfic #kpop imagine #wooseok x reader

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kpoptrashlord-007 · 2 years ago

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princekunge · 3 years ago

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Glimmer | Mermaid!Kino

Kino x Fem!Reader | Word Count: 4,146

A/N: Mermaid aus are not my go to for reading or writing, but I was thinking about Kino one day and how beautiful he would be as a mermaid and eventually this fic demanded I write it. So here it is. Also rip Hongseok I’m so sorry.

The sea breeze felt cool against your skin as you sat on the dock, your feet dangling off the edge with your hands behind you supporting your weight, the wood from the dock digging into the palm of your hand. Your eyes were closed as you took in the sound of the waves and the feeling of the warm sun on your skin. You used to spend almost every day out here when you were growing up, playing in the sand along the beach building terrible sandcastles, taking running leaps off your dock into the water to see how far out you could jump, watching the fisherman bringing their boats in at night because your friend had told you that sometimes they caught mermaids. It was a ridiculous notion to be sure, but it took far longer for you to grow out of the idea than you would like to admit.

Local legend always had whispers of mermaids living beneath the shore and many in your town believed they were real. Some said that if you saw the tail of a mermaid before your wedding day that it would bring you luck, others said that if you were to look into the eyes of a mermaid you would surely die that very day. Your mother believed that mermaids had the ability to heal and we’re forces of good.

You felt a little guilty even now about the last time she had brought it up in conversation. It was your second semester of college.You had moved away to the city to study and had fallen victim to the siren call of the lights and fast paced life that it offered. When you had called your mother one day to catch up and she had started to ramble about mermaids you, in no uncertain terms, had told her that you didn’t have time for backwater superstitions and that she was dumb for believing in them. Needless to say your relationship with your mother had been strained ever since.

This was the first time you had returned to the coastal town you had grown up in since going off to college in fact. It had been years since you left for the city, and years since you had graduated from your university, but the town hadn’t changed a bit.

“There you are, I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” A familiar voice said from behind you, making you turn away from the sea. Your fiance stood at the beginning of the dock with his hands on his hips as he looked at you. You had brought him with you to meet your parents and show him the town you had grown up in, but from the minute you all had arrived it was painfully obvious how much he did not fit in with the life of the town. Yang Hongseok, your fiance, had been an acting major in college and was currently lined up to play the second lead in an upcoming drama. The two of you had met in college through your friend Hwitaek who took a little too much pleasure getting involved with his friends' love lives. Regardless, the two of you had hit it off your junior year of university and had been dating ever since. When Hongseok had popped the question one night at dinner a few months ago it seemed like the logical next step for your relationship. “What are you doing over there?” He asked.

“Enjoying the sound of the waves and getting some sun, thinking about how much I used to do this when I was growing up,” you answered. “Want to join me?”

“No thanks. I would need to put on way more sunscreen and less expensive pants to do that,” He replied, turning down your offer. “Come on babe, I booked us a trip on one of the sightseeing boats for a look along the coast, we don’t want to be late.”

You sighed, looking back out at the waves. “I’ll be there in a second,” you said somewhat distractedly.

“Ok, but hurry up, you know I don’t like to wait and I spent a lot of money on this boat. I don’t want to miss it,” Hongseok replied, putting his hands in his pockets before wandering back to your childhood home up the beach.

You sighed again pulling your legs up to your chest, watching the waves break against a nearby outcropping of rocks. When you were 10 you had fearlessly climbed the rocks pretending to be a pirate looking for treasure, but instead of treasure you had seen a boy around your age in the water with bright pink hair. The sight had shocked you so much that you had almost fallen off the rocks, but when you blinked he had disappeared. You had never seen the boy before that day and hadn’t seen him since. You figured he must have been a tourist visiting with his family, but something about that conclusion didn’t quite sit right with you. Ever since you couldn’t help but feel drawn to the outcropping; often spending most of your days either on the docks looking at the waves or climbing the rocks and sitting there for hours.

It was as you were staring off at the waves that for a moment you thought you saw a shock of pink hair out by the rocks. You sat up straighter, putting your legs down again and leaning forward, but as you strained your eyes to try and look there was nothing there. You frowned, feeling slightly disappointed in a way that you didn’t fully understand. You shook your head and stood up, sending one last look back toward the outcropping before heading back home.

Hongseok was waiting for you with crossed arms and an irritated look on his face. “I think your definition of ‘I’ll be there in a second’ is very different from mine,” He huffed out as you walked through the door, wiping the sand off your feet on the mat as you entered.

“Sorry, I got lost in thought,” You replied. You met the gaze of your mother who was drying dishes in the kitchen who quickly looked away. You knew she didn’t approve of Hongseok, neither did your father for that matter. While neither of them had said anything outright, you could tell in their body posture and whispered conversations when they thought you weren’t around. The four of you had plans to go out to dinner the next night so you hoped that it would help ease the tension between the four of you and convince them that you were happy. “I’ll go get changed and be right down. Won’t take me long,”

You put on a more appropriate outfit for the sightseeing trip and quickly bounded back downstairs where Hongseok was waiting for you by the door.

The boat tour was beautiful, you couldn’t help but be entranced by the way the ocean waves glittered under the setting sun and soaked up all the information the captain shared with you as you sailed along the coast. Leaning against the railing of the boat you could just barely see the outline of the town you had grown up in; with the setting of the sun you could see the lights being turned on in homes and lamps being lit outside. It was beautiful and it was peaceful, and you couldn’t help but wonder why you had ever left in the first place.

“Babe get this,” Hongseok chuckled lightly as he walked over to join you by the railing. “According to our captain here these waters are home to mermaids, can you believe that? Who knew there were people who still believed in that kind of silly superstition these days.”

A weak smile reached your lips, “I know right? You would think if mermaids existed scientists would have found them by now.”

“That’s what I told him, but he insisted that they’re out there,” Hongseok laughed again. “I think the people in this town have spent a little too much time out under the sun, good thing you got out of here when you did.”

You couldn’t find it in you to laugh with him, in fact it stung you a little to hear him so easily make fun of the people you had grown up with and the town that had raised you. “Yeah, good thing huh,” You said half-heartedly, ignoring the feeling in your chest as you slipped your arms around his waist and leaned your head against his chest; your gaze once again turning towards the sea. As the sun continued to glitter across the ocean for a moment you thought you saw the brief glitter of scales under the water, but they disappeared just as quickly.

That night as you fell asleep in Hongseok’s arms you dreamt of pink hair and blue scales that glittered like diamonds.

The next morning you found yourself pulled back out to the beach. It was still early, and the sun was just beginning to rise. You had left your fiance sleeping in bed, but figured he wouldn’t mind too much. You spent most of the morning walking along the beach, letting the waves wash over your feet and picking up seashells to look at that you found interesting before returning them to the ocean. You didn’t pay any attention to the passage of time, but eventually you noticed that the sun wasn’t as high in the sky anymore and your stomach was rumbling. You figured that you should probably head back home.

“There you are! You keep running off and disappearing for hours, it's messing up my plans!” Hongseok exclaimed as you entered through the back door, “I wanted to take you out to lunch at this nice restaurant in the next town over, but you were gone so long and didn’t take your phone I had to cancel our reservations.”

“Oh, I’m sorry baby, I didn’t realize how late it was getting,” You said looking at the clock, it was well past lunchtime and drifting into the evening. “I was walking along the beach looking at the scenery, I’ve really missed this place.”

“It’s fine I guess,” Hongseok waved off. “But it’s getting pretty late already and we’re having dinner with your parents, you should go get ready.”

“Ok, I’ll be right down,” You said before running upstairs to change.

True to your word you changed quickly, putting on your favorite dress and earrings that matched the expensive engagement ring Hongseok had gotten you. You eyed it briefly as you stood in your childhood bedroom. When you showed it off to your friends in the city you had felt so proud about how big it was and how much it shined in the lights of the city, but ever since arriving back home it looked foreign and out of place on your hand. You shook your head as if to push the thought out of your head before returning downstairs where Hongseok was waiting.

“You’re parent’s already left for the restaurant, you ready?” Hongseok asked.

“Yep, let's go!” You said forcing a smile to your face as you threaded your arm through his, letting him lead you out of the house.

It was a short trip to the restaurant but it felt like ages. The closer you got the more the pit of dread in your stomach grew. You weren’t even sure what it was that you were dreading, but the feeling remained regardless. Your parents were already seated at a table on the patio overlooking the beach when you arrived. You greeted them with a smile, but the tension had not gone away. The waiter came and went with your drink order as you looked over the menu, idly biting your bottom lip not looking forward to the inevitable conversation to come, not understanding what about it you dreaded so much. The waiter returned and took down your meal order before taking up the menus and all you were left to do was fidget with the ring that sat heavy on your finger.

“So, Hongseok,” Your father began and you wondered if the pit in your stomach would swallow you whole. Part of you wished it would. “Why do you want to marry our daughter?” Straight to the heart of the matter, your father had never been one to mince words.

Hongseok blinked as if he hadn’t even considered it before, “Why? Why wouldn’t I want to marry your daughter? We've been dating for years and we fit well together; it makes sense for us to get married.” Yes it made sense. You and Hongseok had always made sense and your friends in college always said that one day you would get married. You suddenly wished you had stopped and asked them why it made sense, because you were having trouble coming up with an answer.

Your father frowned, his face as disapproving as ever. You took great interest in looking out over the water wondering if you could run away from this conversation. Wondering if you could run away and become sea foam. “Don’t you love each other?” Your mother spoke up, concern covering her features.

Hongsoek tilted his head as if to think about it, “love? Yes I suppose we love each other.” You suppose you should have felt something at his words.

Your mother turned to look at you, “Honey? Don’t you have anything to add?” She asked, almost pleading with you. For you to speak up and explain why you and Hongseok made sense, why you and Hongeok should get married.

You felt like a deer caught in the headlights, as three pairs of eyes turned to look at you waiting for you to say something. “I,” you began. What were you supposed to say? That you were happy together, and that you loved each other and wanted to spend the rest of your lives together? When was the last time Hongseok had told you he loved you? When was the last time you had said you loved him? You couldn’t remember. That was wrong, right? People who were getting married should be telling each other they love one another, so then why couldn’t you bring yourself to say it. “I,” you tried again, but it was like the words wouldn’t or couldn’t come out, like the air was being sucked from your lungs and the eyes of everyone were suffocating you. “I need to go!” You said standing up suddenly, pushing your chair out from under you. In your haste it toppled over. Your parents and Hongseok looked at you in surprise at your sudden exclamation. “I need to go to the beach. I just, I can’t do this. I can’t. I can’t do this. I need to go.” You said, backing away from the table.

“Babe?” Hongseok spoke up, confusion in his voice.

You turned and ran as your mother called out after you.

You didn’t pay attention to where you were going, you didn’t care. You just knew you had to get away. With every step you took, you felt the pit in your stomach grow smaller and smaller and it became easier to breathe. Somewhere along the way you ditched your expensive shoes to go barefoot. Eventually you found yourself standing on a familiar dock looking out at a familiar outcropping of rocks.

You took deep breaths of the salty ocean air, closing your eyes and letting the sound of the waves overtake you. After a few moments you laid down on your stomach on the dock with your head resting on your arms looking down at the water, trying to calm down and wondering how much you would regret it if you were to get into the water in your favorite dress. The sun was setting on the horizon and it painted a masterpiece on the water.

You were looking at this masterpiece when a shock of pink hair and a face broke through the water beneath you and surfaced. You gasped, eyes wide. It was a man and he was stunning. His pink hair fell delicately around his face and his skin seemed to faintly glimmer under the setting sun. You had never seen anyone so beautiful before in your life. Your eyes met his and you couldn’t seem to move.

“Hi,” you breathed out.

His eyes trailed your face as a smirk pulled at his lips before he grabbed the edge of the dock and pulled himself up closer so that he was only inches from your face. “Hello,” He said, his gaze still traveling over your face. Now that more of his body had been pulled out of the water you could see that where normally men would be wearing swim trunks, his skin gave way to shimmering blue scales that shone like diamonds.

You gasped again, “You’re… you’re a mermaid!”

His smirk pulled wider into a grin, “Are you scared?” He asked, his eyes searching yours.

Something tickled in the back of your mind, a memory that you had somehow forgotten.

“You’re a mermaid!” You exclaim from the rocks, crawling closer to look at the boy and his diamond tail sitting nearby.

“Are you scared?” He challenged, jutting his chin out at you and crossing his arms over his chest.

You scoffed, “Me? Scared? Never! I’m a pirate, I'm not scared of anything!”

“You don’t look like a pirate, you just look like a silly girl playing pretend.” The boy sneered.

You gasped, affronted by his insult. “I am too a pirate! I’ll prove it to you!” You stood up and tried to clamber over the rocks to grab your toy cutlass, but in your haste slipped on the wet rocks. The pain as you fell against the rocks into the sea was instantaneous and you attempted to cry out, but your mouth began to fill with sea water. Blood from a wound you couldn’t see began to spread in the water as you choked and gasped for breath. You were scared. You were going to die at 10 years old and no one would ever know what happened to you.

Suddenly arms wrapped around your body and hauled you out of the water onto solid land, giving you the opportunity to cough out the water that had filled your lungs and finally catch your breath. You were still in pain and your head hurt immensely. You reached up to touch where it hurt and your hand came away bloody. Not knowing what else to do you began to cry.

“Hey, what are you doing. Don’t cry! I just saved your life, stop crying!” The voice of the boy said from beside you. “Ugh stop crying, here let me-” He trailed off as he roughly placed one of his hands against your wound and began to sing. You slowly stopped crying as you listened to his song and by the time he stopped the pain had completely gone away.

“Wha-what did you do?” You hiccuped.

“What do you think, I healed you of course,” He replied, proud of himself.

You sat up straight, looking at him in surprise, “You healed me? Are you magic!” You asked.

The boy scoffed again, “Of course I’m magic, I'm a merman.”

You gave him a dubious look, “You aren’t a man, you look like you’re the same age as me.”

The boy huffed, “I am too!” He insisted. “But anyway, I saved your life, that means it's mine now!”

“What!” You exclaimed, “No it’s not. You can’t have me.”

“Well… maybe not now, but someday. Looks like I’m the pirate and you’re my treasure!” The boy laughed, and the sound was music in the wind.

You blinked and met the eyes of the boy who had finally become a man. You wondered how you could have forgotten such an event, but figured the answer lay in what he had said all those years ago. He was magic.

“What’s your name?” You asked

“Kino,” He replied, giving you another smile that felt a bit devious. The boy you had met all those years ago had changed a lot. His eyes traveled from your face down to where your hands gripped the edge of the dock, landing on the ostentatious engagement ring sitting there. His devious smile fell to a frown and his eyes met yours with a glare in them. “I thought I told you. I saved your life, that means it’s mine now.”

You looked down at the ring, feeling the way it dug into your skin. “I- I didn’t remember,” you said.

“Well you remember now,” He says matter-of-factly, the glare still on his face. “Or maybe you’ve just spent too much time out under the sun.” His eyes hardened even more.

Your eyes widened at his words, “You were by the boat!”

“I had to keep an eye on what’s mine,” He explained, looking at you intently. You felt small under his gaze, but couldn’t find it in you to look away. Suddenly Kino was smiling a devious smile again, “Do you think I’m pretty?” He asked. You blinked at the question, then blushed. His smile widened even more. “Do you think I’m beautiful?” He asked, lowering his voice as he pulled himself up even closer. Part of you wanted to retreat as his face drew even closer to yours, but an even larger part of you didn’t want to. “Do you want to kiss me?” He asked, tilting his head slightly. You blushed even harder at his words and his eyes gleamed.

You were only centimeters from his face now and it was as if he was the sun and you were being pulled in by his gravitational force as his breath ghosted across your lips tempting you forward. Your eyes flitted from his down to his lips before finding his eyes once again. “A kiss comes at a cost though,” He shared, practically whispering as if the two of you were sharing a secret. “Do you think you’re willing to pay it?” You felt yourself leaning forward toward him, as you moved closer he slowly began to lower himself back down toward the water. “All you have to do... is say yes.” He muttered, his nose brushing against yours.

A good portion of your body was now leaning precariously over the edge of the dock tempting you to fall into the water and into him, but you didn’t care. You wanted to kiss him. You wanted to know what the ocean felt like on his lips. You wanted to know what magic tasted like.

“...yes,” you breathed out, your eyes closing right before his lips crashed into yours.

Kino kissed you like his life depended on it and it made you dizzy. Your hands found their way to his face as you kissed him back and it was as if you were waking up from a dream for the first time in your life. That before this moment you had just existed, but now you were alive. Your whole world centered down to the feeling of his lips on yours.

You felt one of his hands rest on your cheek while the other found your hand that was currently entangled in his hair. His fingers deftly tugged something off your ring finger and dropped it in the ocean. Something in the back of your mind told you there was someone who would be very upset by the amount of money that was currently sinking to the bottom of the ocean, but for the life of you, you couldn’t think of who or why you cared as you lost yourself in the taste of Kino’s lips.

His hands grasped either side of your head and pulled you closer to him. You were getting to the point where you were about to need to come up for air, and if it wasn’t for Kino supporting your weight you would have definitely fallen in the water by now. His kisses were distracting though and neither of those facts registered in your mind. All you wanted, all you knew was that you needed to keep kissing him. “Mine,” He muttered fiercely against your lips. Everything else faded in the back of your mind as he pulled you off the dock and under the surface of the water, his lips never once leaving yours.

Local legend always had whispers of mermaids living beneath the shore. Some said that if you saw the tail of a mermaid before your wedding day that it would bring you luck, others said that if you were to look into the eyes of a mermaid you would surely die that very day. Your mother believed that mermaids had the ability to heal and we’re forces of good. And you? You knew they were all true.

#kino #kino x reader #kino fanfiction #kino scenarios #pentagon fanfiction #pentagon scenarios #pentagon kino #hyunggu x reader #hyunggu scenarios #mine

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jinmindeulle · 4 years ago

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hot chocolate | jyh (1)

part 1/3

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 jeong yunho x reader, yang hongseok x reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 2.4 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, fluff / enemies to lovers au, tv news au, newsanchor!yunho x newsanchor!reader

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 mentions of sex and cursing

main masterlist | ateez masterlist

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

“Taeki is retiring”

Y/n snapped her head towards her co-worker, choking a little with the last bite of her lunch “Are you serious?”

“Yep” Minsoo nodded “They are even throwing him a surprise farewell party or something like that. Hyunsung is sending everyone a message, so you’ll probably receive one”

Just as she finished her sentence, y/n’s phone vibrated in her pocket, signalling she had indeed received one “You’re right” she responded, staring at the invitation like it was a lottery winning ticket “And who is replacing him?”

“No idea, but I guess we’ll know in a few hours” she shrugged, and finished her sandwich “Ready to go back?”

Standing up from her seat, y/n followed Minsoo out of the restaurant, continuing their conversation about how insufferable their boss had been the last month because of that new forecast lady who was still adapting to the Seoul Morning News. But her mind was elsewhere now.

She had always dreamt about being a news anchor. Ever since she was little, she admired those people on the T.V. who knew a lot about what was going on, and was fascinated with how fast they talked and never messed up. She had always enjoyed watching the same beautiful lady sitting on her fancy desk, wearing trendy clothing and styling her hair accordingly. Her make up was always on point and the smile that she wore on her face made little y/n feel as happy as she (supposedly) was.

So hearing that there was a vacant for the job of her dreams was something to be excited for. It was not like she didn’t like her current job, of course not. Developing the stories that Taeki presented every morning was a big deal. She liked to do her research and bring the public different views about diverse topics, stories that could make them reflect on their own lives, or just to make them aware of crucial matters like climate change, her latest report. But that didn’t change the fact that she was made to be in front of the camera. Her bright smile and outgoing personality made it clear from the start, and every co-worker of hers knew that sooner or later, she would end up being the morning news’ anchor.

“As you may have already heard, our news anchor Taeki is about to retire”

Every Friday, Mr. Jung held a meeting in the conference room with every department. Even though the Seoul Morning News had always worked well and rarely gone through rating issues, Mr. Jung believed that with no unity, the programme would rapidly fall from grace. These recurrent reunions were basically to inform everyone about what was going on in their own department and what was about to happen the following week in terms of interviews, reports and mini-documentaries.

“Next week is his last one here, so naturally we are looking for a replacement”

Y/n felt how Minsoo’s elbow pocked her side with enthusiasm, and she looked at the woman with wide eyes to make her stop.

“Sorry” she whispered “It’s just that Jaehyun is looking at you again. I think he fell in love” Minsoo giggled.

Y/n wished he just stopped for once and for all. Yeah, it had been a fantastic experience. Nothing would make her forget how good she had felt under his gorgeous body, under his hot touch and sweet scent. But it had been just that, a one-night-thing only. And she didn’t do one-night-things more than once with the same man, except for Hongseok. She would never get tired of him. But Jaehyun was another matter, and apparently he didn’t understand it, or maybe he didn’t want to understand it.

“…that’s why I have decided to propose the job to some of you whom I believe would be the best replacement. Of course you will have some tasks to develop, as well as some interviews and you’ll be tried”

Y/n quickly forgot about the burning look that Jaehyun was giving her upon hearing her boss’ announcement. Her heart started pounding on her ears, and her hands felt sweaty in a matter of seconds.

“Every director of each department have proposed candidates for the job and two names were always included in those lists. I know you all, and I am aware of who has potential for this job. That’s why I have decided to give the opportunity to both of them”

Her heart sunk. Her chance of being one of those two candidates was too slim. The number of people working for the Seoul Morning News was abominable, and off the top of her head she could name at least twenty people who would fit the job perfectly.

“I don’t want to waste more time. Jeong Yunho, from the Sports Department. Lee Y/n, from the Daily Reports Department. You are our candidates. May the best win” Mr. Jung grinned.

The girl’s eyes watered as soon as she heard her name leave her boss’ lips. Her surroundings felt like being on slow-motion. Some of her friends in other departments cheered for her from afar, clapping with passion and waving at her. Those who were around her congratulated her with smiles, some of them with envious eyes. It was too much for her to process. But that was not the whole issue.

She was competing against Jeong Yunho. The it boy from Sports, the man that every one loved and admired because of his intelligence, his fresh, easy-going personality, his perfect, bright smile and beautiful eyes. Jeong Yunho, her eternal enemy, who was looking at her from his seat with a lopsided grin and mocking eyes.

“So that’s why you were so eager to see me, huh?”

“I needed to celebrate” she giggled, making herself comfortable against Hongseok’s warm, naked chest.

“I always knew you were going to be the next Seoul Morning News’ anchor” he responded with a hoarse mumble, bringing her closer to his body and letting her tangle her legs with his.

“I’m not it yet” she sighed, drawing circles on Hongseok’s pectoral with her index finger.

“But you will be” he kissed her temple.

“I wouldn’t be so sure about it, Hong. You know Jeong Yunho. He’s going to try to destroy me if that gets him the job. He was always like that on college, especially when we were competing”

Hongseok stayed silent for a while, and if he hadn’t kept caressing her exposed lower back she would have thought he had fallen asleep “But you are as good as he is, if not better. I know him, yes, but I also know you. You are the perfect person for that job and your boss knows it. So don’t doubt yourself, okay, Y/n? Just trust the process and you’ll see”

“Can I kiss you for that?” she lifted her head from his chest and smirked at Hongseok, who quickly brought her head closer with his arm and sealed their lips together.

“I will never understand how you go about your life like that knowing that you can have Hongseok as more than just a hook-up but you don’t do anything about it” Minsoo murmured to y/n right after waving Hongseok goodbye.

Y/n shrugged, fixing her already messy bangs “I guess I am not used to commitment. I mean, we see each other more than I see my family really. But you know that I don’t just do sex with him, right?”

“What? Do you go on dates and kiss each other goodnight with your friend-with-benefits?” Minsoo chuckled, stopping by the elevator and waiting for it to come.

“I wouldn’t call them dates, but we do kiss” y/n mumbled, playing with the end of her red dress.

“You kiss Ho-?!” her friend screamed, and y/n had to put her hand over Minsoo’s mouth to shush her before he could hear them from her apartment “Friends with benefits don’t do that, y/n!” now inside the elevator and all alone, she could yell all she wanted.

“We do” y/n giggled, and turned around to fix her lipstick “And it’s not weird, you know. He sleeps with other people and I also do. It’s just that I like the way he makes me feel. It’s like having a boyfriend that doesn’t care about whether you fuck other guys or not”

“Is that an open relationship, then?”

“Maybe. I dunno. But I like how it is now and I wouldn’t change what I have with him for any other man”

Twenty minutes or so later, y/n and Minsoo walked out of the taxi right into the party hall. Most of their co-workers were there already, drinking and conversing with one another. Taeki hadn’t arrived yet, so for their luck, they were on time.

“Wow, look at you, doll”

“And that’s my cue to leave you alone now” Minsoo smirked, waving at Hyunsung, the party host, and running away from the scene as fast as she could.

“Fuck me” y/n mumbled, closing her eyes shut. She plastered a fake smile on her face and turned around, meeting Jaehyun’s stunning face. “Hi there”

“I didn’t know you were coming. I would have given you a ride” he smiled, shoving his hands inside his pockets.

“Yeah, Hyunsung was kind enough to invite me. And it’s alright, my friend brought me and Minsoo” y/n lied, trying to bring Hongseok up as her only way to get away from his offers.

“Oh, you mean the guy that you are seeing?” Jaehyun cocked his head, suddenly interested in y/n’s love life, like he always was.

“Yeah, that guy” she enthusiastically nodded “He’s picking me up later as well” she mentally slapped herself, because she knew that Jaehyun would be around the whole night, and of course he would see how she called a taxi when she decided to leave. Besides, Hongseok was covering a co-worker of his and had to be on the Night Show’s building until 2 a.m. at least.

“Well, if that is not the case you know I can always take you home” he smirked, licking his lips.

“Thank you, Jaehyun, I re-”

“Excuse me! Hi, I’m Jeong Yunho from the Sports Department, how are you doing? Can I take her from you just a little bit? Okay, thank you!”

The tall boy didn’t even bother to hear an answer from Jaehyun and simply took her by her arm, brining her to the other side of the room.

“What the hell was that?!” she asked him, looking at his hand that was still holding her arm hostage.

“Oh, sorry” Yunho released her from his strong grip and crossed his arms over his chest “I just wanted to congratulate you. It’s a big thing what you are doing” he grinned. But y/n knew that grin, and it didn’t entail pure intentions.

“Oh, yeah? Are you, Jeong Yunho, congratulating me, out of all people?” she scrunched up her face, demonstrating how suspicious he was appearing to her.

“Why not?” he scowled.

“C’mon, Yunho. You’ve always disliked me. Since when do you talk to me? I don’t recall a single civil conversation with you, even in college” she imitated his pose, folding her arms “And back then, we just talked when professors paired us up to work on assignments”

“Because you would always be around Yang Hongseok, and I never liked that guy” disgust was evident on this face, a rare sight to see. None of the people around them had seen Yunho like y/n had in all those years of sharing not only every single class, but also the same workplace for almost two years. He was not the angel he pretended to be.

“Then you wouldn’t want to know that I still hang out with him”

Yunho stayed silent, just looking at her with an unreadable expression. Y/n quickly realized that the boy was trying to mess up with her right from the beginning, playing all friendly and stuff so that he could get the position in the blink of an eye.

“I know what you are tying to do here, Jeong. You have always wanted that spot but you are not the only one. So I’m sorry to crush your dreams, but I’m fighting for it too. Just don’t play dirty. You deserve to be the next news’ anchor? Then show it”

“I’ll play fair. Just remember that I always won back then” he smirked, his eyes shining with greediness.

“Get over college, Yunho” she grinned, tiptoeing so she could whisper in his ear “And never underestimate me”

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

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ohmyjinsus · 3 years ago

Text

the right reasons

yang hongseok x gender neutral! reader

recent college grads nonsense idk || 5.9k

** there is some drinking in this (they are of age, after all), but no swearing uwu**

finally, a fic not inspired by a taylor swift song, shocking, I know (I listened to cruel summer on a loop while I was writing this though, I think y’all will see why)

summary: when your best friend, hongseok, decides to audition for bachelor in paradise after graduation, you don’t want to believe it ….. mainly because you’re in love with him, even if you haven’t realized it yet

“Do you think I should apply?”

You look up. The two of you are watching The Bachelor in his apartment. Hongseok’s the only other person you know who’s into it. Once you found out, you immediately agreed to watch it together. Ordering takeout and making fun of the contestants has been your tradition ever since you met 4 years ago.

“I’m confused,” you say. You were checking your phone during the commercials.

“Bachelor in Paradise,” Hongseok replies, gesturing to the TV. “They’re casting for next season, there was an ad.”

“That came out of nowhere.” He doesn’t look phased.

“We’ve graduated now,” he says. “I don’t know what else to do with my life.”

“You have a point,” you reply. It’s been one month since all of you finished university. Lots of your other friends had jobs lined up beforehand, but you and Hongseok still have no idea what you’re doing.

“Right?” He grins. “I could go on, I’d have something to do, then I’d come back and I’d have a bunch of new Instagram followers and I could do sponsorships or something.”

“You realize that sounds crazy, right?” You grab a french fry from the box on the coffee table.

“It’s not!” You roll your eyes. “Think about it y/n, I’m smart, funny, attractive, nice-”

“Wrong, wrong, wrong, and wrong, but okay.” He laughs.

“I’m exactly what they’re looking for on these shows.”

“But you want to go on for the wrong reasons.”

“Shhhh,” he tells you. “Nobody needs to know that.”

“What’s your story then?” You ask.

“I grew up seeing my parents being so in love,” you make a gagging noise, but he keeps going. “And now, I want that kind of love for myself. The apps are just no good, and I need to find a special someone to spend the rest of my life with.”

“Jesus christ,” you mutter. “You didn’t mention anything about your personal journey to find love.”

“Oh right,” he says. “Now that I’m finished university, my main focus is to settle down, get married, have kids, and I’m on my personal journey to find all of that.”

“Amazing,” you fake clap for him. “You’re a shoo-in.”

“There’s no harm in applying, right?” He shrugs. “I doubt it’ll lead anywhere, but it could be fun.”

“I guess so,” you admit. “Your chances are slim, but you never know.”

“What do you mean?” He says, offended. “Have you seen me in a swimsuit?”

“Shut up.” You throw your napkin at him, but you’re laughing.

Hongseok offers to grab you another drink, so you tell him yes. He doesn’t mention anything else about the show for the rest of the night. By the time you’ve gone home, it’s completely slipped your mind.

===

When Hongseok invites you over 2 weeks later, you assume he just wants to hang out and have dinner. You’re shocked when he sits you down on the couch and says he has news to share.

“You’re dating someone.” He shakes his head. “Someone died.”

“No,” he tells you, laughing. “I love how those are your first two guesses though.”

“What is it?”

“I got a call yesterday from the Bachelor in Paradise producers...”

“You’re joking.” You didn’t expect that to go anywhere. You just assumed Hongseok would send in his audition tape and never hear back. The possibility of him actually being on the show makes you feel uneasy. “Really?”

“Yes, y/n, really.” He sits down on the armchair, facing you. “They want to meet me in person next week.”

“Oh my god,” you say. “Congratulations.”

“You don’t sound that happy,” he smirks. “Are you jealous?” You shake your head right away.

“I’m just surprised.”

“You didn’t think they’d want me?” He asks quietly.

“No, of course not,” you reassure him. “You’re kind, and funny, and attractive, why wouldn’t they want you?”

“Exactly,” he grins at you.

“So are you gonna go?” He nods.

“Why not? The worst they could do is say no.”

“That’s so exciting,” you tell him. He seems very happy about it, and the last thing you want to do is bring him down. As his best friend, you should definitely be supportive.

“Will you come with me?”

“What?” You glance at him.

“Downtown, for my interview,” he clarifies. “I have to take the train down and meet them there, I don’t really want to go alone.”

“Are you nervous?”

“A little bit,” he admits. “I’d just feel better if I had someone with me.”

“What about Changgu?” Hongseok shakes his head. “Shinwon?”

“You’re my first choice.” That catches you off guard. “We can make a day of it,” he suggests. “We can go to that bakery you wanted to try on Queen, and we can go shopping, get dinner, it’ll be fun.”

“Sure,” you say. Going on adventures with Hongseok is always a good time. “How long will your interview be?”

“They didn’t say,” he replies. “I just know it’s at 10 on Wednesday.”

“Cool,” you pull out your phone so you can put it in your calendar. “So if it goes horribly, I can cheer you up, and if it goes well, we can celebrate.”

“Sounds good.” He smiles at you. “Thanks y/n.”

You nod but there’s a small part of you that’s anxious. You decide to ignore your feelings for the time being. Your day with Hongseok is going to be great, you should focus on that and enjoy your time together.

===

Hongseok meets you outside the train station the morning of his interview. The first thing you notice is how nicely he’s dressed. As he gets closer to you, you notice he smells really great too.

“I should’ve dressed up some more,” you mutter, glancing down at your own outfit. You’re dressed like you’re going to class, while Hongseok’s dressed for a first date.

“You look fine, don’t worry.” He heads towards the entrance, so you follow close behind.

You were right to have Hongseok come early, as the train is at the platform the second you get there. He follows you to the back of the car, and sits down facing you.

He hasn’t seen you in person since he asked you to join him on this trip. Apparently he went on a shopping trip with Changgu yesterday. That’s when he got his current outfit.

“No wonder this cardigan is so nice, you couldn’t have picked out anything like that yourself.” Hongseok rolls his eyes at you, but he’s smiling.

The train leaves soon after. Hongseok watches out the window like a little kid. He keeps his eyes on the station until it’s all the way out of sight. And you keep your eyes on him until he catches you looking.

“Are you nervous?” You ask him. He shakes his head, but you notice his leg bouncing up and down.

“It’s just like a first date, right?”

“Exactly,” you reassure him. “And you’re great at those.”

“Are you sure?” He asks. “You’ve never been on one with me.” You don’t know how to respond to that. You almost want to tell him to take you on one. But you’re just friends, you remind yourself, you can’t do that.

“You’ve dated more people than I have,” you point out. “You’ll be fine.”

“I hope you’re right.”

The two of you sit in silence for a little while. Hongseok goes on his phone, so you focus on yours. You brought your AirPods so you can listen to music or watch a show while Hongseok’s busy with the producers.

“y/n-” You look up. Hongseok looks like he’s about to ask you something, but he hesitates.

“What’s up?” He shakes his head.

“What’s the plan for the rest of the day?” He asks you. You know that’s not what he was planning on saying, but you go with it.

“While you’re busy, I’ll get us breakfast,” you tell him. “There’s a café across the street, let me show you.” You sit down next to him so you can show him your phone. When he leans over to get a look at the screen, you’re suddenly aware of how close he is. You push it out of your mind.

By the time you’ve planned out your day, you’ve arrived at the train station. The two of you grab all your things and leave the train. Once you’re out of the station, the interview location isn’t too far away. There’s still 20 minutes before Hongseok’s meant to be there. He’s adamant about getting there early though. Although he won’t outright say it, you can tell he’s nervous. No wonder he brought you instead of one of his other friends; they wouldn’t let him live this down.

Once you get there, there’s a line of all the other candidates running through the main hallway. You and Hongseok join the end of the line.

“You don’t have to stay,” he tells you. You shake your head.

“It’s fine,” you say. There’s a check-in desk a few metres ahead of you. “I’ll stay until you get past there.”

“Okay,” he replies. “Thanks.” You bump your shoulder against his.

He’s brought his application package with him, so you ask to look it over while the two of you wait. There’s tons of pictures of him, some of them shirtless, which you quickly flip through. Then there’s copies of all of Hongseok’s identification. At the very back, there’s the printed copy of his application. You move that to the front, flipping through to make sure he didn’t leave anything blank.

He never asked you to look over his online application before he handed it in, so you’re interested to see what he had to say. There are the stereotypical questions about his career, education, background, and all of that. But there are also some more personal questions further down.

Why do you want to be on this show? Are you prepared to get engaged at the end of the season?

Hongseok’s answer is cookie cutter perfect. He knows he’s the prime candidate for this kind of show. Kind, good-looking, easy to fall for. He’s played to all his strengths in his application. You know he’s lying about being prepared to propose at the end of the show, but everyone does that. His answer comes off as genuine though.

The line moves up a little bit while you flip to the next page. It’s all about his dating history. You’re shocked at how invasive these questions are. Then again, if it’s for reality TV, it has to be.

The first section asks for a detailed dating history from the past 5 years. You’re familiar with all of that. He’s never told you about any ex-girlfriends, or anyone he’s currently interested in. He’s a casual dater, and you’ve never seen him tied down for too long. The maximum amount of dates he’s been on with one person is 3. You haven’t seen anyone get past that point. He seems to get bored easily. You’re honestly surprised he’s been friends with you for this long.

Despite all of his casual dating history, he’s made it clear he’s ready to settle down now. You thought he was just making this up to get on the show, but the more you read, the less you’re sure. Maybe he’s just persuasive.

The line moves a little bit more. Now there are just 3 other people ahead of you. Hongseok’s on his phone again. You figure you have enough time to skim the rest of his answers.

Have you ever been in love? is the next question. You know the answer is no, so you’re surprised when there’s a couple paragraphs written underneath it.

I have, but I was never brave enough to act on it. You try to read the entire section as quickly as you possibly can, but your brain doesn’t work that well. You grab some words here and there, years, class, close friends but not enough to fully comprehend.

“C’mon y/n,” Hongseok says to you. “We’re next.” He holds his hand out for the folder.

You glance down at the page you’re on. Although you want to read the rest, you also realize you’ve stumbled upon something incredibly personal. Granted, Hongseok may wind up sharing this on national television, but for now, it’s none of your business.

“Here,” you close it and hand it to him.

“Thanks.”

Hongseok gets checked in soon after that. It takes about 5 minutes for them to verify his identity and double check his application. Finally, they direct him to a room down the hall where he’ll meet some of the producers. They tell you you can’t go beyond this point.

“Good luck,” you say to Hongseok, not sure what else to say. He smiles.

“Thanks y/n.”

Some of his hair is falling in his face, so you reach out to quickly brush it out of the way. When you pull away, he’s looking at you with an expression you’ve never seen before. It feels surprisingly intimate.

“Text me when you’re done,” you tell him, pulling yourself out of your thoughts. “You’ll be great.”

He nods, and the two of you go your separate ways. You know you’ll see him again in an hour, but it still feels weird to say bye to him like this. You hope nothing changes if he does wind up on this stupid show.

You walk out the doors onto the sidewalk again, thankful for the fresh air. You pull your AirPods out of your bag, so you can listen to some music. As you walk along the street, you can’t help but think of Hongseok and what he might be saying to the producers in there.

You tell yourself you’re curious just because you’re best friends. But you can’t get that look on his face out of your mind. You have no idea what it means. You’re just really close friends, right?

You turn the music up, hoping to distract yourself. It works until you pass a small playground. You can’t help but think of Hongseok yet again.

The two of you met during your university’s orientation week, but it wasn’t until halfway during the semester that you actually spoke to him. You knew you were taking some classes together, but you never really thought about it until then.

Speaking in class was something that always terrified you, but one of your professors was adamant that everyone do it in order to get full marks. It took a while for you to work up the courage to raise your hand that day in October. When you were called on, you hesitated for a second, before sharing your answer. You don’t even remember the question anymore, you just remember your professor outright laughing at you. You’d been so sure you were right, but your professor made it very clear that you were not. Right away, you threw all your things into your backpack and ran out of the lecture hall. Your heart was beating so fast and you had no idea where to go. You wound up outside, walking as far as your legs could possibly take you, until you found a park off campus. As soon as you sat down on the swings, you couldn’t help but cry.

It was one thing to get an answer wrong, but to have your professor react like that was humiliating. You were never going back to that class ever again. You’d drop the course, or only show up on test days, whatever it took to never see that godforsaken man ever again. You were so lost in your thoughts that you didn’t even notice when someone sat down on the swing next to you.

After that day, you and Hongseok quickly became friends. You still can’t believe he was kind enough to follow you out of class like that, but he always tells you it was nothing. As you think back to it now, you can’t help but feel a rush of affection for him. Maybe he is more than a friend to you.

You head to the playground and sit on the swings alone, thinking back to some of your other memories with Hongseok. He’s always been there for you to lean on, and you’ve always done the same for him, like today. You remember feeling this way when he’d specifically asked you to come with him. At this point, you’re about 90% sure you have feelings for him. You don’t know how you didn’t clue in earlier.

You stay there until your phone buzzes. Hongseok’s done sooner than you expected. He says he’ll meet you at the café where you wanted to get breakfast. You respond, saying you’ll see him there soon.

You didn’t walk that far, so it only takes about 5 minutes of speed walking to get back there. When you spot him waiting outside on his phone, you can’t help but smile.

The two of you head inside, while you tell him what you got up to. You say you found a park bench and wound up doing some work there. He rolls his eyes and tells you you should’ve found something more entertaining to do.

After you’ve got your food and sat down, you ask him about the interview.

“It was okay,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. “I think they liked me.”

“What do you mean think?”

“It seems like they believed me when I told them how passionate I am about my journey for love.” You smirk at that.

“Are you sure you weren’t speaking from the heart?”

“Of course I was y/n,” he says, jokingly. “How dare you insinuate I’m applying for the wrong reasons.”

You’re still unsure if he’s joking or not. After your earlier revelation, you’re praying he is.

He tells you some more about the interview and the producers. Apparently they asked even more invasive questions about his dating history, like his body count. That makes you cringe.

“If they offer you a spot,” you ask, “which I’m not saying they will, but if they do, would you take it?” You expect him to say yes right away, but he ponders it for a second.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “What do you think I should do?”

You want to tell him to say no, and to stay at home. Preferably so you can spend more time with him, and then maybe he’ll realize he’s into you as well. But you can’t say that, of course.

“I think it could benefit you,” you tell him, honestly. “But it’ll also change your life in multiple different ways, and that’s something you’d really have to think about.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” you hesitate, taking a sip of your drink. “Assuming you wound up in a relationship by the end of the season, the odds of it working out aren’t that high,” he laughs at that, but doesn’t disagree. “Anyone you date after that will always see you as that guy who was on Bachelor in Paradise. You’ll probably have a wider range of people to choose from, but a lot of them will be fake too, so, it’s up to you.” You shrug.

“All valid points,” he replies.

“I don’t know if you’re ever planning on settling down,” you admit. “But if you do, it’ll affect that and whoever you wind up with.”

“I would like to settle down someday,” he says quietly. You glance across the booth at him. “What?”

“I’ve never really thought about you in a long term relationship. It doesn’t seem like your type of thing.”

“It could be,” he tells you, “with the right person.”

You just nod, afraid you might say something stupid if you open your mouth.

Once you’re finished eating, the two of you head out to the closest subway station. You have a list of stores you want to visit, and Hongseok happily follows along. He helps you pick out some gifts for your friend’s upcoming birthday and some clothes. He winds up buying some things for himself as well. You joke that he’ll have to buy an entirely new wardrobe if he winds up on national television. He promises to take you swimsuit shopping with him if that happens. That makes you roll your eyes, but you’re blushing the whole time.

You stop for lunch at a random fast food chain, then head to that bakery you told him about the week before. The two of you get some extra goodies for your roommates as well.

Finally, it’s almost 7 o’clock and you decide to go to a decent sit down restaurant for dinner. Earlier you told Hongseok you were in the mood to drink tonight, so he promised to take care of you. He lets you pick where to go, so you choose a restaurant with a rooftop bar. You know he likes to take nice photos for his Instagram feed.

The food is good, and the drinks are even better. You only have a few, but you can feel them getting to you. Hongseok’s extremely entertained by you. Normally you’re not this talkative, but you’re asking more questions and telling him more random things than usual.

You wind up telling him the truth about how you wound up at the park this morning. He’s surprised you lied, but you refuse to tell him why. Instead he just smiles and tells you it’s cute you thought of him. You wind up blushing profusely, hoping he doesn’t notice. The two of you reminisce over some other memories from early on in your friendship. You’re surprised he remembers them as well as you do. Maybe that means something.

When you’re finished eating, you stay a little longer. Hongseok has 2 drinks as well, but he can handle his liquor much better than you. It seems to have no effect on him at all. By the time you leave, it’s almost 9:30.

The second you step out of the restaurant, you’re met with a crowd of people. As you awkwardly navigate yourself around them, you’re separated from Hongseok. Once you’re free, you glance around, afraid you might have to call him. Thankfully, he’s waving at you from a couple metres ahead. You run over to him and immediately interlock your arms.

“C’mon,” he says, pulling you in the direction of the train station. You could have taken the subway back, but Hongseok suggested you walk instead, as it’s not too far. It’s dark out now, but it looks nice with all the street lamps lit up.

“I forgot to ask something about Bachelor in Paradise,” you say as the two of you head down the sidewalk. “Did they mention when they’ll get back to you?”

“In two weeks or so.”

“Will they let you know if you get rejected?” Hongseok smirks at that.

“Do you want me to get rejected?” You know he’s joking, but you can’t bring yourself to smile.

“Yes.” You mumble, mostly to yourself. Hongseok must not hear you.

“I was scared earlier,” he says. “But it might be fun. It’s a free vacation, technically.”

“Yeah, for the cost of your sanity.” That makes him laugh too. You rest your head against his arm.

“Do you think I could actually find someone worthwhile on there?” He asks quietly. “I know the premise is to date multiple people, but maybe I could find something real.”

“Hongseok-” You almost want to punch him. You wish you could yell at him, here on the sidewalk, and tell him off for not realizing there’s been something real right in front of him for the past 4 years, but you can’t bring yourself to do it. “Please.”

“I know, it sounds ridiculous, but you never know.” You two turn the corner and wind up right in front of the train station’s main entrance. “Crazier things have happened.”

You don’t know if it’s because you’re tired, or slightly drunk, or what, but you pull your arm out of his and turn to face him.

“Hongseok-” He glances into your eyes. This time, he notices something serious is happening.

“y/n, what is it?”

“Please don’t go,” you say quietly. He takes a step closer so he can hear you better. “Just… don’t do it.”

“I mean, I haven’t made up my mind yet,” he says, awkwardly. “But I thought you wanted me to do what’s best for me.” You shake your head.

“I was wrong,” you tell him. “I can’t do it.”

“You can’t do what?” You freeze. You wish you hadn’t used that choice of words, but at this point, there’s no turning back now.

“I can’t stay here and watch you on TV, dating other people, kissing other people, being with other people.” You’re not dumb, you know what the fantasy suites on that show are for, and imagining Hongseok in one of them with somebody else makes you simultaneously want to cry and throw up.

“I don’t understand.” You groan. You were hoping that would’ve been enough to get your point across, but of course, your best friend isn’t that smart.

“I’m going to be so jealous.” You hate yourself for even saying it, but it’s true. Hongseok reaches out, taking your hands in his. “My heart can’t handle it.”

“y/n,” he says. “You’ll always be my best friend, regardless of what happens-”

You pull your hands away from his. You don’t understand how he’s not getting it at this point. Granted, you’re not thinking clearly because of the alcohol, but he should be able to read between the lines.

“That’s not what I meant,” you tell him. “I don’t just want to be your best friend.”

“What?” It seems like it’s starting to click now. But just to be sure, you decide to outright say it.

“I’m in love with you.” It comes out louder than you intended, but the second you say it, you know it’s true. Even though the realization only, truly, hit you today, you’ve never been more sure of anything in your life. Your heart is beating a million miles a minute, but it doesn’t matter. “Hongseok, I love you.”

“You do?” He asks quietly. You nod, too scared to say anything else. “I don’t know what to say.”

You wait, not sure what to say either. Both of you just stand there, awkwardly staring at each other for a few seconds. Panic starts to set in at that point, maybe you shouldn’t have said anything.

“y/n-” You can tell from the tone of his voice that he’s going to turn you down. You really shouldn’t have said anything at all.

“It’s okay.” You cut him off right away. You don’t want to hear him outright rejecting you, not now. “It’s okay.”

“y/n, I-” You reach over and press a finger to his lips. Maybe he’ll just brush it off as you being drunk, that’s what you’re hoping for anyway. You wish you could take it back, but that would be the next best thing.

“Really,” you force a smile. “It’s okay. I’m sorry.” You glance at the time on your phone, realizing your train will be there any second. You don’t want to think about the awkward train ride home.

“Here,” you tell him, gesturing towards the entrance to the train station. “You can take this one and I’ll wait for the next one, it’s okay.” Maybe if you say it enough times, it’ll be true.

“y/n, I can’t leave you waiting here for an hour on your own.”

“Fine, I’ll take a cab,” you tell him. “Just go, before I make a fool of myself again.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he walks through the doors, so you awkwardly follow him. “Nothing’s changed.”

That hurts more than an actual rejection. You could tell he doesn’t have feelings for you too, but for him to dismiss your feelings like this stings. You can’t stand sitting next to him in dead silence on a 30 minute train ride. You can feel the tears starting to form in your eyes, but you try to ignore them.

Once you’re both on the platform, the train is already there, waiting.

“I’m going to go down there,” you say to him, pointing to the far end of the train. “Don’t follow me.” You hope he can’t tell your voice is about to break.

“Okay,” he replies, right away. That hurts too. You expect him to say something else, but he jumps into the first car.

You wait until he disappears from your sight before you turn and walk all the way to the other end of the train. Once you’re inside, and you’ve found a seat by the window, you take out your phone. You were hoping there would be some kind of text from Hongseok, but there’s one from your roommate instead.

Hongseok called me and said the two of you are out right now and he was going to take you home but something happened ???

You roll your eyes. You really don’t want to get into this right now. But you text your roommate back and say yes, that’s all true.

he asked me to pick you up from the train station, he said you’re arriving at 11 or so, I’ll meet you there

You immediately respond saying that isn’t necessary.

y/n, he said you’ve been drinking…. he’s worried about you getting home by yourself

The second you read that, the tears start to fall. You hate him so much. How could he have no reaction to your confession, but still worry about you like this? It doesn’t make any sense.

You respond and tell your roommate you’ll be there soon.

As the train pulls out of the station, you rest your head on the window and close your eyes. This train ride is so much different than the one this morning. You honestly wish you hadn’t said anything at all. Now you’ve probably lost your best friend forever.

===

Three days go by without hearing anything from Hongseok. At this point, you don’t know what there is to say. You spent a long time wondering if you should be the first to reach out, but you’ve said all you need to. If you’ve ruined your friendship by telling him your feelings, then that’s on you.

You really don’t want to make things any harder for him. You knew he was trying to get on the show, so you really shouldn’t have said anything to begin with. You hope he still makes the right choice for him, regardless of you confessing.

On Saturday afternoon, the doorbell rings. You expect it to be one of your roommates, as they tend to forget their keys often. When you open the door and see Hongseok, you’re stunned.

“Hi y/n,” he says, smiling. Seeing his face makes you want to smile too, but you can’t, considering all you’ve been thinking about these past few days.

“Hi,” you reply. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry,” he laughs. “You have nothing to be sorry for.”

“Why are you here?”

“I came to say sorry.” You frown. “I was thrown off guard so my reaction may have come off the wrong way, and I’m sorry for that.”

“What do you mean the wrong way?” Now Hongseok looks nervous.

“How did you feel?” He asks you. “When you told me you’d take a different train, why did you say that?”

“You were rejecting me,” you say. “I didn’t want to sit in a train with you for 30 minutes trying not to cry.”

“You cried?” Hongseok looks like he’s about to cry himself, just hearing that. “I’m so sorry y/n.”

“It’s fine,” you tell him, shaking your head.

“I withdrew my application.”

“You did what?” You’re shocked.

“I called the producers and told them I wasn’t interested anymore.”

“I hope this isn’t because of me,” you say.

“Of course it’s because of you.”

Hongseok’s looking at you that way again, the same way he did downtown, right before his interview. Maybe he wasn’t rejecting you after all. You suddenly feel really nervous.

“I did some thinking,” he explains. “I did want to be on the show, but it was obviously for all the wrong reasons.” You smile at that.

“So you changed your mind?” He nods.

“I want to stay here, and be with you.” That makes your heart rate jump.

“For the right reasons?” You ask, jokingly.

“Yeah, I’m sorry I didn’t realize it sooner,” he replies. “y/n, I love you too.”

You practically throw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around his neck. His arms are tight around your waist as he hugs you back.

“What if I had changed my mind?” You ask, pulling away a little bit. His arms are still around you.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” he rolls his eyes. “And I have a surprise for you, so that would’ve won you back.”

“A surprise?” Hongseok smiles, letting go of you. There’s a small paper bag sitting outside your front door, to the side, that you hadn’t noticed before. He grabs it, and pulls out your favourite cold drink.

“Here you are.” You say thanks and take a sip. “I have food as well, I was thinking we could go to the park.”

“The swings?”

“The way your eyes just lit up is the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen.” You roll your eyes at that. “But yes, the swings would be great.”

“Let me grab my things,” you tell him, stepping back into your apartment to get your phone and keys.

“This is going to be such a fun first date,” Hongseok says, as you lock the door.

“Date?” Technically, you knew that’s what this is, but it’s still shocking to hear him say it out loud.

“Yes… If that’s okay.”

“You didn’t bring me a date card though.” Hongseok laughs at that.

“This isn’t Bachelor in Paradise!”

“Well, no, but a card still would have been nice,” you say jokingly. The two of you walk down the hall to the elevator.

“Next time.” You nod in agreement. “Can I offer you a kiss instead?”

“I’m sorry what-” Before you can say anything else, Hongseok takes your hand and plants a kiss on the back of it. “Oh.”

“What did you think I meant, y/n?” He asks, a smirk on his face.

“Don’t worry about it.” The two of you step into the elevator and he pushes the button for the bottom floor.

“As your boyfriend, it’s my duty to worry about you.”

“Boyfriend?” You mean to tease him, but you’re more soft than anything. The word sounds so nice to say.

“Well yeah,” Hongseok says. “You love me, I love you, it only makes sense.”

“You should say that more often,” you tell him, as the elevator stops. He follows you as you step out.

“What?” He asks. “That I love you?” You can’t help but blush.

“Yeah,” you reply, absolutely smitten.

As Hongseok opens the door, and you step out into the warm air, he wraps an arm around your shoulders.

“I won’t let you forget it.”

#pentagon #hongseok #hongseok scenario #hongseok imagine #pentagon scenario #pentagon imagine #kpop #fluff #hongseok scenarios #pentagon scenarios #pentagon imagines #hongseok imagines #how the hell do you tag things 😭 why has no one liked this I’m so sad #uninet

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gamerwoo · 4 years ago

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Hongseok: Bittersweet (Intro 1/3 -- y/n & friends)

Characters: Hongseok x female reader

Genre/warnings: college au, sugar daddy au, gamer/streamer au, fluff, angst, crack, maybe implied smut but idk if there will be actual smut???

Summary: You were looking for a sugar daddy to make more money. Hongseok was looking for a sugar baby to get his friends off his back. But once you find out what he’s using you for, you don’t want anything to do with him. Unfortunately, you love his money more than you hate him.

a/n: more about the characters below the cut!!!

Next | Bittersweet Masterlist

y/n: you’re studying abroad in south korea for college. you really hate doing schoolwork, so you hope the streaming thing takes off. despite wanting this career path to take off, you tend to not take everything seriously and not make the best choices. but hey, your friends still love you. mostly. (this is your personal account, hence why it’s private)

yanan: is one of your closest friends. he tells it like it is, but he also enjoys watching chaos unfold. he’s also close with hongseok but he likes to keep his friend groups separate so he’s never even mentioned him to you before. even if he didn’t want to keep his two groups away from each other, he’d probably not tell you anyway just to start shit for his personal amusement.

sadie: has been your roommate since freshman year when you both arrived on campus and were thrown together as roommates for no other reason than you were both foreign to the country. she’s the mom friend who makes sure you get up for class on time, get your homework done, and basically don’t die. let’s face it, without her, you probably would’ve been kicked out of college by now.

ellie: is a little strange, but you love her. you often wake up to find her asleep on your couch even though you went to bed with your doors locked, but despite her breaking and entering to live on your couch most nights, she’s a great friend to have around. she’s basically your partner in crime when it comes to shenanigans and bad ideas.

amanda: all but shoved herself into your friend circle when she heard you make a zodiac killer joke in your literature class. she’s all about everything true crime, and even has a podcast that she does about true crime cases. she may be a bit strange -- some people find her to be too strange -- but you think she’s just strange enough.

soonyoung: was in almost every single class of yours during your freshman year, so naturally, you became close. despite knowing zero things about technology, he does everything in his power to support your still-taking-off career, and he’s even more supportive of you doing literally anything to make money -- and he often supplies some outgoing ideas.

ryan: goes to the same college as you, but you originally met him because he got a job at the café you frequent. he always adds whipped cream and drizzle on your coffee for free, so naturally, you had to befriend him. he likes to play video games with you from time to time, but he thinks chani is scary.

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blizzardfluffykpop · 4 years ago

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M&M’s

Summary: Need a tutor? Well, you’ve come to the right school, we have just the one for you. And he’s attractive too.

Do or Not Series

Fluff

Word Count: 2,346

Hongseok X Reader

Of all my time at school, I never thought I would need tutoring. I was an A+ student when I started failing my classes. My grades were in the trash, and I had no idea how to improve or even raise them. How do you even study? Why is college structured like this? UGH! So now here I am sitting in the Dean’s office listening to them preach about how I need to learn from this person to pass. That they won’t hold it against me if I pass because of this tutor. All I have to do is pass the exams, and if I pass. I will move up to the Sophomore year. How am I supposed to pass a class that I’m not participating? And who is this person they are setting me up with? As if to answer my question, they say, “He should be here any moment.”

Like on queue, the door opens to reveal a rather attractive guy. They expect me to be able to study next to him? Oh god, I am so screwed, even worse than I was before. Okay, (Y/n), put your game face on and act like he does not affect you. “This is your tutor, Hongseok, and Hongseok this is (Y/n). I think you two will do well together.” We exchange a polite ��hello’. Then the Dean tells him what the expectations are for the both of us. And I cannot help but feel my anxiety spike at each time he mentions ‘study’, ‘quiz’, and ‘pass’. What happened to cruising through school? Why is it no longer easy to pass? What did I miss when I was younger?

I was missing the old school structure. That I was memorizing what they said to forget it later. Because back then, as long as I knew the basics, I could pass. It wasn't like those classes were hard either. They repeated the same things over and over. So it was easy to remember, Hongseok had explained to me at our first meeting in the library. He wanted to know why I was failing and what made me remember best. I shrugged and said, 'probably repetition and listening' I wasn't sure, but that was the best guess I had. I never thought of ways to study because I never needed to beforehand. He grinned, “I know you wouldn’t believe it, but my first year here, I didn’t study. I didn’t know how or what worked for me or how I even learned. It took me to the last semester to realize what it was. Once it clicked, it was too late, and I barely passed my exams. To make up for me failing everything else, they asked me to tutor someone.” While I couldn’t believe my ears, something in my gut told me he wasn’t lying. Thus I decided that he was my best bet to make it into my sophomore year.

The following Wednesday, we are stuck inside the library again. When we get settled in our seats, he pulls out two packages of m&m’s. “What are those for?” I ask, and he shrugs and says, “You’ll see.” I pull out my books, a pencil, and a notebook. I’m worried he will look down on me for not having any past homework or past tests. But I threw them all out in exhaustion and frustration. I couldn’t deal with that massive amount of failure. But rather than saying anything, he pulls out some flashcards and a calculator. “Let’s start with math.”

Every time I got a question right, he gave me an m&m. My stomach growled at me every time I would get something wrong and lose out on an m&m. Not that I couldn’t reach in and get one, but the m&m's are rewards for whenever I get something right. Plus, he would give me his charming smile every time I got something correct, so I strived to get them correct.

It wasn’t until we finished math and science and we were walking out together. That I noticed, he was catering to the way I learned. Repeating steps with me or asking me the questions out loud and going through the steps with me. Whether it be an example or how to fix my mistakes, my heart skips a beat as he asks to walk me home.

"So, do you like university other than this?" I shrug, "It could be better, but generally I like it. Everyone I met is kind, like my roommates Changgu and Yanan. Like you're kind and sweet, I wanna thank you for helping me out." He grins, "You're helping me out too. I don't think either of us wishes to repeat Freshman year." I laugh and agree, "What about you? Do you like it here?" He shrugs, "It's okay. I don't have a roommate, but I have quite a few friends. So it helps, plus once you know how to study, it makes it so much easier." I laugh, "Yeah,... if I ever get to that point." When we reach my dormitory I tell him, "This is my stop." As I head inside, he yells, “I’ll see you this Sunday for History and [Subject].” I yell back my agreement and walk up the stairs to my room. I thought this would drag and not want to show up. But he makes me look forward to studying with him. Throwing my finished m&m bag away, I walk to my dorm with a proud smile on my face.

Like clockwork every Wednesday and Sunday, I spend the whole afternoon studying. And he would ask me to study for little quizzes that he would give me on Thursdays. They are over everything we have ever been over together. With each test I passed, my confidence grew, and so did my feelings.

Out of all the days that I spend with him, Thursdays have to be the hardest. With each test, I take the harder they become. I feel like my soul almost leaves my body every time he grades them. How his face turns up in cute ways, trying to figure out my process. Or when I get something right, he sends me a beautiful smile or his pout when I miss a question. His faces make my heart flutter while my stomach wants to throw up from fear of failure. Between the two, I can never seem to stomach Thursdays.

While I have learned my study pattern, I still have to pass this course with him or I fail. While I’m taking a quiz, three Thursdays before my exam, he tells me. “I can already tell you that you are going to succeed with flying colors. So if you fail this quiz, take it with a grain of salt. You have to fail sometimes to succeed.” The first page was easy I knew all the answers without a problem. I rushed through them, and the next page was a little harder. When I got to the eighth page, I was starting to question whether I was studying. What does the eighth number of pi have anything to do with this course? I wish to cry as I take my best guess, which is all I can do when I reach the tenth page. I sigh in relief, it’s the last page it can’t be that hard, can it? Oh, yes, yes it can. “If you take the 4th number of the last answer. [Which I am positive I did not get right, considering that I only gave a two-digit answer to the last question]. Exponentially expand it by twenty-two. What is the number you get?” And that is the first part of the ten parted question. My brain craves a nap and a family-size bag of m&m’s.

By the time I finish the last page, I am running on one brain cell. That is running around, throwing all the files in my brain into a shredder, and giving up. How did I not know a single answer after the third page? His face is in a pout after the second page, and my heart breaks. I don’t want him to disappoint him. I should study harder to make him proud of me. I groan internally, this is going worse than I expected. “Out of thirty questions, you got seven right!” He says in a cheery tone, and my heart falls out of my body, and my soul has ascended.

“Remember what I said when you started taking the test?” I rack my brain for answers and find nothing. I shake my head 'no', and he pouts, “Aw,... Well, I said take it with a grain of salt. Maybe some quizzes are made impossible.” My jaw drops, “You did that on purpose--!” He shrugs, “Did I?” He makes me rethink what I said, and I pout and cross my arms over my chest. He hands me a pack of m&m’s, “Maybe study harder.” He winks, and I push him to the side when we get up to leave the building. “You know you passed the hardest question on the quiz, right?” My eyes nearly pop out of my head, “What?” He grins, “None of your work made sense, but in the end, you answered four on the last question, and that was the right answer.” I smile, “Sometimes taking your best guess works. Also, four happens to be the professor's favorite number, so if you aren’t sure, guess that.” My jaw drops open again as he ruffles my hair, “You did pretty well, (Y/n).” I brighten at his words and hug him. “I promise to study hard! Two more quizzes before the final test!” He laughs and hugs me back telling me, “You got this!”

It wasn’t until the last study session that I realized how much I would miss Hongseok’s presence. It hit me like a ton of bricks, and when I got to my room, I was bawling. I wanted to see him more. I wanted to be around him and get to know him more. It took me a few moments, but I realized I fell for my tutor. How could I not? When I had a tutor like Hongseok,... Based on all calculations, I have a crush on him. I wonder if he likes me back, but there is only one way to know. Do I have enough courage for that? I’m not sure. I sigh and wipe my tears, saving them for a less important day. I need to study and pass these four exams.

I spend hours studying for tomorrow, although I know my study method. It did not make studying any less boring. I missed Hongseok, who would crack a joke or grab us a snack. He made this so much easier studying five hours with him felt like two. Ugh, now five hours of studying feels like fifteen. At the sixth hour, I call it a day and pull the covers over my head, and dream of failing the exams.

When my alarm clock finally rings, I’m happy to be up and away from those horrid dreams. With a brave face, I get ready for my exam day. I check my phone and see it’s Hongseok. He texted me, “Good luck on your exams! Fighting! You got this!” I smile and text him back, ‘thank you'. I got this, I keep reiterating to myself, but I can’t help but hear the doubtful voice in the back of my head. I am taking all my exams in one instance. So that means five hours of taking four different tests. While I know all the study sessions were preparing me for this moment, I want it to be over and done with already.

Of course, none of the tests were easy they each pulled at my wit's end. I sit there for another thirty minutes waiting for them to grade my tests. Preparing myself for the worst news, I think about Hongseok’s encouragement. If he thinks I’ll pass, maybe he’s right. If it wasn’t just my grades on the line, I wouldn’t care as much. But when it comes to Hongseok, my heart is grasping at the hope that I made it above passing.

The professor looks up at me as I turn a page in my book. I set it down with a bookmark. They smile at me, “Your lowest is an 87,” I gulp, no way, “Your highest is a 99.” My brain is no longer processing words as I rush out of my seat to see my results. “Congratulations, (Y/n). You passed with flying colors.” I smile and shake their hand, thanking them, and skip out of the building. I passed. I really passed! Is this real? I'm not dreaming again, right? I pinch myself and let out a small ‘ouch’ definitely real. I skip out of the building and see someone wearing a blue sweatshirt sitting on the fountain. As I come up closer, I recognize them as Hongseok. I run up to him and hug him. He whispers, “Did you pass?” And I shake my head 'yes'. He runs his hands through my hair, “I knew you would! I’m so proud of you.” Hearing him say that my heart pounds, “Um, Hongseok,...” I pull away from him a bit, my arms still wrapped around him. He nods for me to continue, “Would you maybe,... possibly want to go on a date with me?” He smiles, “I was gonna ask you that!” We both laugh as he hands me a family-size pack of m&m's for us to share. We head over to my dorm, and that is the start of our new beginning.

While we still study together, you can find us lying on the floor while watching the tv and throwing m&m's at each other. Making different kinds of foods together, making an even bigger mess in the kitchen. So yeah, if given the opportunity, I would fail my classes all over again. If it meant I got to meet Hongseok.

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gwentoryfics · 4 years ago

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Hot for Teacher, Part 10.

GENRE | College Student x College Professor Smut AU

PAIRING | Reader x Hongseok x Hyunggu (Kino) x Wooseok

WORDS | 11.3k

SUMMARY | You never realized how much one drunken night could color the rest of your college experience until you discover that the handsome stranger from your cousin’s wedding is also the new professor at your university.

WARNINGS | Swearing. Phone sex. Video sex. Masturbation (male and female). Pillow humping.

PARTS | 1 • 2 • 3 • 4 • 5 • 5.5 • 6 • 7 • 8 • 9 • 10 • More Coming Soon

NOTE | The smut MAY have gotten a little out of hand this time... NO REGERTS. Also sorry that it took me so long to finally finish & post this. Anxiety, depression, and long work weeks really suck.

TAGS | @astralsweetness, @bearboyunho, @day6grams, @heyheydee7, @hhhongseok, @honeyutoda, @kkxn0, @precious-seungwooya, @seraplantery, @smilechannie, @the-deviant-world, @yeosang-ponytail

“Jinho?”

You’re completely frozen in place as you stare at your brother, as bright eyed as he’s ever been, standing just across the lobby. He stands on his tiptoes to wave as people pass between you both, and then he’s walking towards you.

Jinho, your big brother, is here. He’s right here.

You finally break out of your shock, vision growing blurry with tears as you rush towards him, abandoning your grip on your suitcase as soon as he pulls you into a hug.

“_____, I missed you!” Jinho squeezes you tightly, and you notice his body is much more solid than it used to be.

“Jinho…” You weakly whimper his name as the tears begin to fall, still in utter disbelief that after so long you finally get the chance to see him again. You haven’t heard a word from him since the day he disappeared.

“Come on, _____, don’t cry.” He pats your back but doesn’t make any attempt to let you go.

Even with your arms securely wrapped around him, you still can't comprehend the fact that he's here and he's alive and he's here.

Jinho waits until you finally release him, giving you all the time you need to hold him close. He gives you the warmest smile, and as much as it soothes you, it also makes you suddenly, incredibly angry.

"Where did you go?" You ask, frustration thick in your voice. "Why did you leave? Why haven't I heard anything from you?"

Jinho's smile fades, but he seems understanding of your pain. "Let's talk about it in the car, okay?"

You nod, overwhelmed by all of the emotions flooding you. Jinho grabs the handle of your bag and leads you out into the parking lot. You tightly grasp the sleeve of his coat as you walk together, afraid that he could slip away from you at any moment.

Once you’re finally on the road and headed home, he speaks up. “You know how mom and dad wanted you to be a secretary? Or a housewife? They’ve been telling you basically since you could walk that they already decided what you should do with your life and that their plan was the best plan. Right?”

You hum quietly in agreement. They had always been vocal about what they wanted for you.

“They did that to me, too, I’m sure you remember.”

“Yeah, I lost count of the number of times I heard them telling family and neighbors about how you were going to take over the farm one day.”

“It’s suffocating. It felt like I had no control over my life, like I couldn’t actually do what I wanted to do.”

“What did you want to do?”

Jinho sighs, shifting in his seat as you coast down the street, headed for the country. “I didn’t really know what I wanted to do. I still don’t. All I knew was that I wanted to make my own decision. So I joined the Army.”

Your eyes widen and you sit up a little straighter, surprised. “What?”

Jinho lets out a short laugh at your response. “Yeah, it just seemed like the right way to go. I didn’t have a plan for university or for a career, so I thought joining the Army would let me get away from home for a while, let me meet some new people.”

“Jinho, how does that make any sense? You left home because you had no freedom, so you joined the Army, where you also have no freedom?”

“I never said it was a good idea, or even the right one. But it’s the choice I made. I got to make that decision,” Jinho responds bitterly. A little softer, he says, “I didn’t have the balls you have to uproot your whole life in pursuit of a passion, to tell mom and dad that you won’t do as they say. So I just had to leave, had to disappear.”

You chew on your lip, processing everything he’s shared with you, but one question remains: “Why did you have to abandon me, too?”

“It felt like the only way. It felt like I needed full separation from my life here, and you were unfortunately part of that. I feel awful about it and I never should have removed myself from your life like that. You’re my little sister,” He looks over at you fondly, but it’s bittersweet. “And I’m your big brother. I’m supposed to be there for you but I was selfish and left you to fend for yourself. I am so, so sorry for that.”

You hate to admit it, but you understand where he’s coming from. It makes sense. You just hate that it made you feel so shitty and like you didn’t mean anything to him. But you’ve always loved your big brother, and honestly you’re so happy to have him back that it’s feeling more and more difficult to continue being upset with him. Still, you put on a pout. “Maybe if you buy me some ice cream before we get home, I’ll think about forgiving you.”

“You’ve got it. One large chocolate cone for my favorite baby sister, comin’ right up.” He heartily agrees to it, and you smile.

“How long are you home for?”

“It’s indefinite. I’m done with the Army.”

“Really? What are you going to do now?”

Jinho laughs. “No idea. But that’s kind of freeing. Like I can just decide to do anything now.”

“That’s true,” you laugh with him. “And no matter what you end up choosing, I’m proud of you for figuring it out your own way.”

With a fond smile, he says, “Thanks, _____. And I’m proud of you for following your heart and doing what you love, despite whatever bullshit mom and dad try to shove down our throats.”

Oh, if only he knew just how much you’ve been following your heart… But you’re not ready to tell him all of that right now, if at all. The two of you used to be really close growing up, but him leaving obviously drove a pretty big wedge between you. It doesn’t feel right to tell him exactly what you’ve been up to at school.

Besides, it feels really nice to just let yourself get away from the drama, to just relax in the car with your brother on your way home, with the promise of ice cream in the very near future. You want to enjoy this just a little while longer before you’re forced back into contemplating your predicament.

All of the boys in your life can wait. The only one that matters right now is Jinho.

When you finally pull into the driveway, it feels like a weight lifts up off of your shoulders. It’s so good to be home; you love the excitement of the city, but there’s something so peaceful about the small farm town where you grew up.

Your parents are both thrilled to have you home, of course, and the four of you stay up a little too late just to enjoy being a full family again. Regardless of the circumstances of Jinho’s disappearance, it doesn’t seem like your parents are holding any grudges. You’re really thankful for that.

The next day, the Thanksgiving festivities kick off with a trip to your grandparents’ house where your dad’s large family crowds around the tables in the living room, dining room, and kitchen. The food is incredible, the relatives are loud, and everything just feels right… Although you can’t help but be excited about moving on to the next house for dinner.

After a few hours of eating and visiting with your relatives, your family piles back into the car and heads to your mom’s brother’s place--more specifically, Minseo’s childhood home.

As expected, Minseo tackles you as soon as you walk in the door, smothering you with a hug and squealing about how much she missed you.

You squeeze her as tight as you can, twirling in circles with her in your arms. “I missed you too! We have so much to catch up on!”

“Oh my God, you have no idea.” Minseo puts her mouth right up against your ear and whispers, “I’ve got a boyfriend.”

“What?” You practically squeak, partially from the surprise of her announcement and partially from the tickle of her breath. You release her from the hug and grip her arms. “Who? Since when? What happened?”

“I can’t get into it now because the whole family’s here and honestly my parents are not thrilled that I’ve even been hanging out with this guy. But what do you think about a good old fashioned sleepover at your place tonight?”

“Of course!” You nod excitedly.

“Yay! Okay cool.” She plants a kiss on your cheek and gives you one last hug. “I’m gonna go say hi to Jinho, since I haven’t seen him yet since he’s been back.”

You remember that she was supposed to pick you up from the train station. “When did you find out that he was home? I can’t even begin to tell you how shocked I was to see him at the train station instead of you.”

“Only a few days before you got here. He got my number from your mom and asked if he could pick you up instead. I told him yes, of course, but only if he bought me ice cream to make up for the fact that he was keeping you away from me for an additional day. I still need to cash in on that.”

With a giggle, you admit, “I made him buy me ice cream too, as an apology for disappearing in the first place.”

“What else is he good for if he isn’t supplying us with snacks?” Minseo laughs heartily. “Anyway, I love you, and I’m excited to chat more tonight.”

“Love you, too.” You give her a smile as she walks off to greet your brother.

More family members arrive, and eventually you all get settled for dinner. The food is delicious, as it always is, and you mingle with some of your aunts after the meal.

As you scan your eyes across the living room, you catch Jiyoo's gaze for what must be the fifth time already. Honestly, you're starting to wonder why she hasn't just come over to say hello yet. You excuse yourself from the conversation your aunts are having, which you weren't really a part of anyway, and slip through the room to finally greet your cousin.

"Hey, Jiyoo!" You walk right up and give her a hug. "How's the married life?"

She lightly hugs you back, but she seems a little stiff. "Oh, you know, it's going well. Hey, um, can I talk to you for a sec?"

You let go, immediately sensing that something must be wrong by the way she just dismisses . "Yeah, of course. What is it?"

"Maybe let's…" She nods her head towards the back door. "Maybe some fresh air?"

"Sure, okay." You agree, deciding to just follow her lead on this one.

The cold night air instantly hits you as soon as you step foot outside, but it's actually kind of refreshing. The house was getting a little stuffy because of all of your relatives, anyway.

Jiyoo takes a seat in one of the lawn chairs sitting out there and gestures for you to sit in the one next to her. You oblige. "Is everything okay?"

She finally confronts you, asking, “Did you really sleep with Hongseok?”

Panic strikes deep into the core of your bones. How could she know? “Sorry, what?”

“He told Hwitaek and I overheard and I just… I thought we should talk about it.”

“He? He told… Hwitaek?” You’re absolutely flabbergasted. Why would he do that? Was he just bothered by the way you ran out and needed to talk to a friend? That wouldn’t be entirely unfair of him, but you had both agreed to keep it a secret originally and you assumed that still rang true for your most recent tryst.

“Hey, it’s okay, just… just be honest. If he’s just talking shit about you, you can let me know and I’ll set the record straight.” Jiyoo searches your face for a sign of the truth, concern lining her delicate features.

You try to swallow the lump that’s formed in your throat. This is certainly not something you wanted to tackle tonight, but you suppose you don’t have much choice if she already knows about it. “...And if he’s telling the truth?”

Jiyoo’s lips press into a thin line. “Then I guess I just need to accept that my baby cousin isn’t that much of a baby anymore.”

With a frown, you apologize. “I’m really sorry… I know it was a bad idea but I just…”

“You couldn’t help it. I get it.” Jiyoo lets out a deep sigh. “Honestly, that’s how I was when I met Hwitaek.”

You look to her expectantly. “I’ve never actually heard the story.”

Jiyoo hums and crosses her legs, settling back into her chair. “We were both bio chem majors, so I saw him around quite a lot. He has sort of a distinct face, one that’s really memorable. And he used to always wear these big headphones everywhere he went. I always wondered what he would listen to.” She smiles as she fondly reminisces. “I used to work at the computer lab in the science building part-time, and one day he passed by. And just as I turned around in my chair to tell my coworker about the cute Headphones Guy, he walked right up to the desk.”

You smile, enraptured by her storytelling. “Did he ask you out?”

“Don’t rush the story!” Jiyoo chides. “No, that’s actually not why he came back. He asked me if I knew what time the building closed, and I said I wasn’t sure. And then he gave me this weird look and laughed, saying, ‘What do you mean? You work here. How do you not know what time the building closes?’ I felt like an idiot, but I just told him that I knew when the lab closed, but that I didn’t know if the building closed at the same time. I didn’t think it was that crazy, but he did, apparently.”

“Wow, that’s very romantic,” you sarcastically comment with a chuckle.

“Yeah, it might not have been a great start, but the thing is, he stayed right there at my desk and talked to me for an hour and a half until my shift was over. And then he walked me to my dorm building. And then he came upstairs, and I’m sure you can guess where this is headed.” She smiles at you deviously.

With a laugh, you respond, “Really? You gave it up that quickly? I wouldn’t have expected that from you.”

“_____, you’ve seen him. I took one look at him and I was enamored. Add his dorky personality on top of that and I was practically telling him I loved him that night.” Even in the darkness of the backyard, you’re positive that she’s blushing. “And now look at us. He’s the love of my life and I wouldn’t give him up for the world. So all of this to say, I absolutely understand how there are certain people that you just can’t resist.”

You just nod. “It’s definitely difficult.”

“So how have you been handling the semester?”

“I mean, I tried to keep things between us as normal as possible but obviously that didn’t really work out, as you’re apparently aware,” you laugh. But when you look over at her, she just looks at you quizzically.

“What do you mean?”

And that’s when it dawns on you that this whole time she’s just been talking about your original hookup with Hongseok. She doesn’t know about the one that happened literally two nights ago. “Oh! Oh… oh no.”

You can’t cover for yourself in time. Jiyoo’s eyes grow wide and her mouth hangs open as she realizes exactly where the misunderstanding came from. “Did you sleep with him again?”

“I thought that’s what you were talking about!”

“_____!” Even though Jiyoo is shocked, she keeps her volume low, well aware that the entire rest of your family is packed inside. “He’s your professor!”

“You think I don’t know that?” Frustration blossoms in your chest. “And what about everything you just said? I thought you understood!”

“This is different! It’s one thing to be swept off your feet by a handsome stranger, and it’s entirely another to screw your professor!”

“Are you seriously mad about this right now?”

Jiyoo just shakes her head in disbelief. “_____… What have you done?” She falls silent, and somehow that is the worst thing that you could have received from her. She takes a deep breath and then instructs you to stay put as she disappears inside. When she returns a few moments later, Hwitaek and Minseo are in tow.

She literally brought in recruits. You immediately throw up your walls, feeling the need to defend yourself. “What’s this all about?”

Jiyoo looks at you like the concerned mother hen that she’s always been whenever you’re involved. “I think we all need to talk about how you’re handling yourself.”

Minseo’s brow furrows with confusion as she looks to Jiyoo. “What happened?”

“She slept with Hongseok again.”

Both Hwitaek and Minseo are visibly shocked by the news, but more importantly, you’re shocked by the gall that Jiyoo has to spread your personal life around like that.

Minseo’s expression melts to something that looks kind of like sadness. Before she can say anything to you, though, you shoot daggers at Jiyoo. “Why don’t we all just quit being such a gossipy family and instead just mind our own business?”

“_____-” Jiyoo tries to reach out to you, but you turn and storm off, heading towards the barn just to get a second away from everyone so that you can breathe.

You slip inside the large barn, slowing your pace as you walk past the tractors and other equipment stored there. You head directly to the back of the barn and plop down onto the floor.

There’s something weirdly comforting about being in the barn. It reminds you of growing up, back when things were a little more simple. Your life working on the family farm hadn’t been particularly easy--it’s very challenging work--but at least back then you didn’t make such shitty decisions for how to live your life.

You barely get more than a minute of solitude before the barn door creaks open, and Hwitaek pops his head in. “_____?” He looks around for a second before he spots you. “Can I come in?”

“You’re not here to lecture me, are you?”

“Not going to lecture you. I promise.”

You chew your bottom lip. “Come in.”

Hwitaek closes the door behind him and makes the long walk over to where you’re seated. He joins you on the floor, and sits quietly for longer than you expected. Maybe he just doesn’t really know what to say. It’s not like the two of you have ever spent time together before. You chatted for, like, a second at the wedding, and that’s it.

Eventually he gets some words together. “I’m not going to apologize because it’s not my place to, but I’m sure you know that Jiyoo likes to make everything her business.”

“Not sure if you’ve seen any trends yet, but that’s kind of just how our family is.”

“I’ve noticed.” He chuckles. “Minseo has been spending a lot of time at our place recently and oh my God those two never run out of tea to spill.”

You have to laugh too because you know how true that is. “Yeah, they can be a lot. I’m sure it’s at least partially a small-town mindset. Everyone here is always in everyone else’s business and I’m just kind of over it. That’s half the reason why I wanted to get away and go to university.”

Hwitaek nods. “I can understand that. I’ve never lived in any major cities but it definitely seems like a change of pace compared to here.”

“It is. But I like it.”

Another silence falls between you, and you absentmindedly fiddle with your shoelaces as the cold starts to set in. It’s a bit awkward, but you just stew in it until he speaks up again.

Eventually he says, “Hongseok has talked to me about you. I know it’s not any of my business though so we don’t have to talk about him if you don’t want to.”

“Jiyoo said he told you about… the wedding.”

“He did. And he told me how hard it has been to be around you. It sounds like he’s really been struggling with everything he’s feeling, and I shouldn’t be surprised that he caved. I even told him not to act on his impulses because clearly that introduces a lot of risk into the situation, and I didn’t think that was a good idea. He’s usually so disciplined…”

“It’s kind of my fault,” you confess. “I have zero self discipline and I just couldn’t keep myself under control.”

“Well regardless of who takes the blame, I do trust Hongseok with my life and I think he’s got a good head on his shoulders. It’s not my job to tell you two what you should or shouldn’t do, so I’m going to take a step back. He certainly doesn’t have any ulterior motives, so I don’t think it’s truly that concerning that you’re student and teacher.” He shoots you a side eye. “As long as you’re not planning to blackmail him or anything.”

You just shake your head. “I’m not like that. What happened between us has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting some sort of personal gain or anything. It’s just… he’s just attractive, that’s all.” You feel your face heat up. It feels weird to say that to Hongseok’s best friend.

“He really is. And he’s charming, too. I get why anyone would fall for him.”

You laugh awkwardly. “Who said I was falling for him?”

“Feel free to tell me you’re not, if that’s the case.” Hwitaek looks over at you, one eyebrow raised inquisitively.

You frown. You know you’re definitely attracted to him, and you enjoyed spending time with him at the exhibit, but do you have any feelings? It’s hard to tell because of the way things ended. “I don’t know. I think we just need to talk when I get back. I kind of ran away last time I saw him so there’s a lot that’s unresolved.”

“Just be honest with him when you talk, and that’ll encourage him to open up, too. There’s no point in trying to have a discussion with him if he feels like he has to watch everything he says.”

“Yeah, I think some honesty would probably be good for us.”

“No matter what you two decide about where to go from here, it’s up to you two. Just know that there might be consequences, so be careful. And I’ll do my best to keep Jiyoo out of it.”

“Thanks, Hwitaek.” You give him a small smile. “I appreciate your support.”

“Of course. He’s my best friend and I want him to be happy. It’s risky, but I get it.” Hwitaek stands and holds out a hand to help you up. “Let’s head back now. It’s freezing out here and I’m dying to dig into that pumpkin pie.”

You and Minseo sit silently on the old couch in your basement, munching on gummy candies and popcorn as an old movie plays on the TV. It’s not one that either one of you is particularly enthusiastic about, but it’s just one of the many DVDs tucked into the entertainment center the TV stands on.

She’s been more quiet than usual since she came back to your house with you after the family dinner had ended, and you’re positive that it has to be because of the sudden announcement of your affair with Hongseok. You’ve been dying to bring it up with her, but you had to wait until Jinho finally went to bed so the two of you could be alone.

Now that he’s gone, it’s time for you to talk.

You’re not really sure where to start, so you just ask, “Are you mad at me?”

Minseo sighs. “We always tell each other everything. Why didn’t you tell me about Hongseok? Why did you tell Jiyoo first?”

“I was going to tell you, I swear. I was planning on telling you about it tonight. Jiyoo just accidentally figured it out first because I’m a dumbass and misunderstood what she was talking about.” You lie down across the couch, resting your head in Minseo’s lap. “I’m sorry that you didn’t get to hear about it from me first but I promise I wasn’t trying to hide anything from you. I was just saving it for a better time, kind of like how you didn’t want to talk about your boyfriend when we were at your parents’ house.”

Minseo rakes her fingers through your hair, and you close your eyes, pleased. “I get it. I’m sorry for being grumpy about it.”

“It’s okay. We all get grumpy. Do you want to hear about it now?”

“Duh,” she laughs. “I want every single detail. Spill.”

So you tell her everything. How he gave you the private tour of his exhibit, how you essentially invited yourself over to his apartment, how he made it pretty clear that he didn’t really want you to leave until he had his way with you. How you ran like the wind out of his apartment the next morning. And you even tell her about your trysts with Wooseok, and the fact that you’re supposed to be mulling over whether you want to date Kino when you get back to the city. And as you expect, she’s incredibly invested and interested in every single morsel of information you share with her.

“You’re really out there living your best life, huh?” She comments when you finally finish your stories. “What an exciting mess you’ve created.”

“It’s great, right?” By this point you’re seated upright again, and you lean heavily against the back of the couch, letting your head fall back against it. “I don’t know what I’m going to do about any of it.”

Minseo shrugs. “Just do what you’ve always done: follow your heart.”

“It’s so much more complicated than that, though.” You respond with a frown. “I can’t just do whatever I want anymore.”

“Well but you can. To an extent, at least. It’s your life, after all. And it’s up to you to make sure that you’re living in a way that makes you happy. It sounds like you enjoy spending time with all of the guys you’ve been around, but now you’re too stressed by the circumstances to keep enjoying it. Obviously hooking up with multiple guys and ignoring romantic feelings isn’t the answer anymore.”

“And my heart will tell me what to do now?”

“It’s a starting point. Take me and Hyojong, for instance. My parents don’t like him, but I do. He’s what makes me happy. So screw what other people think. Don’t worry about our family. Don’t worry about your friends back at school. This is totally your choice, and you get to decide what you want to do. If you’re just living your life based off of what other people want or expect from you, then you’re bound to have regrets.”

You have to admit that she’s right. You only get one life, and you’re the only one that gets to run it. So you can’t let yourself worry about what other people will think if you decide you’re interested in anything romantic with Hongseok, or Kino, or Wooseok… or how the three of them might feel if you choose not to pursue anything romantic with anyone. You have to choose for you.

“I have to choose for me.” You nod. “This is my life and who cares what other people think?”

“Exactly! That’s the spirit.” Minseo smiles broadly. “You’ll figure it out. And whatever is right is what will happen.”

You return her smile, and refocus the conversation on Minseo. “So Hyojong? That’s your boy?”

Giddy, she nods excitedly. “Yeah. We’ve only been together for a few weeks, but _____, he is absolutely wonderful.” She pulls out her cell phone and shows you a photo of the two of them picking apples. You immediately recognize his heavy-lidded gaze and long hair.

“Really? The bartender from the wedding? Girl!” You nudge her playfully. “I knew you thought he was cute but I didn’t know that you were, like, into him into him.”

“I didn’t know either! But I’ve been spending a lot of time with Jiyoo and Hwitaek recently and Jiyoo kind of set us up, and he’s so weird and funny and cool. He’s perfect for me.”

A warm smile touches your lips. “I’m so happy for you, Minseo. That’s exactly the kind of love you deserve.”

“Thanks,” she nearly blushes. “Now we’ve just gotta get you on the same train.”

“I’ll let you know as soon as I get it figured out.” As your conversation comes to a close, you look back to the TV. “Can we please watch something else? I’m so over this movie.”

“Oh my God, I thought you’d never ask,” Minseo laughs. “Yes, please.”

Late Friday night, you find yourself digging through your closet in search of the sheet music you know you have for “Rhapsody in Blue”. You meant to bring it with you this year but you forgot about it when you made the move back up to your dorm. You’re certain it must be in here, but you keep getting distracted by old photo albums and yearbooks and all of the other nostalgia packed into the shelves of your closet.

One of the items that catches your attention is the keepsake box that your mother put together for you. It started out as a place for you to store all of the cards you got for your birthday or holidays, but you added other random items to the box like the friendship keychain Minseo made for you when you were younger, or the small piece of wood you found that broke off of the dance floor during your school’s prom.

Inevitably, whenever you revisit the keepsake box, you find something in there that you had forgotten about. This time is no different.

When you open the small box, your eyes immediately land on the dried up flowers sitting at the very top: Hongseok’s boutonniere.

You completely forgot that you decided to keep it--your night with him was just a pleasant memory by the time you departed for school. When you had put the flowers in this box, you had no idea just how much of a story would grow.

You pick up the small bundle of withered blooms, running a finger over the dried petals until you realize something that you should have noticed before--now that the flowers have shrunk, you can very easily see the piece of paper that’s tucked in the middle of the bunch.

Gently, you pick out the paper, the dramatic beating of your heart picking up rapidly. Did he leave you a note when he gave you the boutonniere? What secret message could he have snuck to you?

As you unfold the small note, you realize he didn’t leave you a message--he left you his phone number.

Ten digits, his name, and a stupid winky face.

Part of you wants to crumple it up and throw it out the window. Rid yourself of it forever so you can stop thinking about him all the goddamn time.

But another (and unfortunately much stronger) part of you tells yourself that this is special. This means that you were never just a random hookup to him. Well, maybe it was random, but the phone number at least implies that he wanted to see you again.

Hongseok quite literally asked you to reach out. He gave you everything you needed to establish a connection with him.

What would have happened if you had called? Would he have wanted to take you out on a date? Would he have asked you to get all dolled up again, just like you did that night, just so he could ruin you?

And more importantly… what would he do if you call him now?

There’s so much that was left unsaid between you and him after you ran out. You have a million questions. And for some reason, you’re feeling stupidly brave right now. (You blame it on the dumb winky face.)

You jump onto your bed and grab your phone, your hands shaking as you pull up the dialpad. Are you really about to do this?

You punch in his number.

You press the damn green button.

You hold the phone up to your ear, pulse racing at the sound of the ringing.

And then he answers.

“Hello?” His voice alone sends something terribly wonderful shooting through your veins.

“Hi.” You answer simply, not really sure what to say.

Hongseok pauses for a moment, and then he says, “Sorry, who is this?”

Idiot. He doesn’t have your number. “Oh, right, um, it’s me. _____.”

He pauses for a longer moment, and you worry he might hang up on you altogether.

“Um, so I’m home right now for Thanksgiving, and I… I found the flowers. And your number.”

“I’m not sure this is appropriate.”

A bitter frown reaches your lips at his response. “Really? That’s all you have to say?”

“Well what do you want me to say, _____? What am I supposed to do?”

“I don’t know!” You’re starting to feel exasperated, but you remind yourself that your rushed exit could be the cause of his attitude. More calmly, you say, “I’m sorry that I left like that. I just panicked and I had to get out of there. I’ve felt so confused about everything.”

“I suppose I can’t blame you for that.” Hongseok sighs gently. “We sure have made things confusing, haven’t we?”

You nod, and then realize he can’t see the gesture. “Yeah. We really have.”

“Can you give me a minute? Just stay on the line.”

You hum in acknowledgement and the call goes completely silent. Your pulse is through the roof, equal parts excited to be speaking with him over the phone and fatally nervous to be speaking with him over the phone.

After a little while, his voice is back. “Still there?”

“I am.”

“Thank you for not leaving this time.”

You let out a small laugh to accompany your eye roll. “Was that all a test?”

“Not exactly.” Hongseok chuckles in tune with you. “I just needed a second to get myself a drink before having this conversation.”

“Ah. You think it’s going to be that bad?”

“For my career, probably. Or my sanity, at the very least.”

It’s pleasantly surprising to you how quickly he drops his guard this time. “I drive you that crazy, huh?”

“Yeah.” He admits. “Yeah, you do.”

Now it’s your turn to be silent. You hadn’t expected him to so openly admit that.

“I have to ask…” He starts. “I thought maybe you just lost the boutonniere or that my phone number fell out, and that’s why you didn’t call. But you kept both of those things. So… why didn’t you?”

“Hongseok, you folded the paper up so small and you tucked it so far into the flowers that I had no idea it was even in there. I just saved the flowers because… I don’t know, they had a good memory attached. I didn’t even see the paper until now because the flowers finally wilted enough to expose it.”

“Was it really that small?”

“You folded it four times,” you laugh. “Once or twice would have sufficed. And you could have just handed it to me separately. I don’t know why you were so sneaky about it.”

“I thought it would be a cute gesture!” He defends himself. “I was just trying to be romantic.”

“You had the right idea. And hey, I called you eventually.”

“Yeah, just not under the circumstances I expected.”

There’s a thick pause, the silence heavy between you. You know exactly where this conversation should go, but you’re scared to be the one to bring it all up. The longer the silence goes on, though, the more you realize you just need to suck it up and ask the questions you want answers to.

“...How do you feel? About what we did?” You try to keep your voice steady to hide your nervousness. Then you tack on, “I think now would be a good time for us to start being honest with each other.”

He exhales deeply. “I’m not sure that I’ve ever felt more conflicted about something in my life. I’ve spent the last few months preaching to you about morals, and then I brought you into my home, fully aware of the Kryptonite that you are.”

You can’t let him take all of the blame for what happened. You say, “I’m the one that suggested it.”

“Yeah, why did you do that?”

“Because I thought I had something to prove. I swear I wasn’t trying to be sneaky. I genuinely thought that I just needed to one-up your car ride suggestion to show you how okay things were between us.”

“But now here we are.” Another pause, but this one isn’t as long as he willingly confesses to you, “I hate that you left. I absolutely hated it.”

“I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t have run out like that.” You apologize, but there’s more you want to say. “But… I’m not sorry about what we did."

There. You admit it. As much as you felt the need to apologize to Jiyoo about your behavior the other night, it was empty. You don’t regret it. And if you had the chance to sleep with Hongseok again, you'd do it. It might be wrong, but you honestly couldn't care less. Especially now that you're talking to him, hearing his sweet voice and remembering the way he touched you.

Quietly, he responds, "That makes things quite complicated, doesn't it?"

"How do you feel about it?" You press him, feeling like tonight is the night he’ll actually be frank with you about what he’s thinking.

"It was careless of me to let you into my home, and even more careless of me to give in to my desires. I genuinely thought I could handle being around you, but I can't. I can't be around you, _____. You're far too much of a temptation."

"You say you can't. But you want to be," you push. You're getting him to open up one way or another.

And it works.

"Yes, _____, I want to be around you. Is that what you want to hear?"

"Only if it's the truth."

"It is." Frustration is sharp in his voice. "I've been a wreck thinking about you since you left. I've been absolutely torn up trying to figure out what the hell I'm going to do now and wondering how you’ll act in class, if you’ll even show up. And now you just call me out of the blue? Do you know how badly I wanted you to call me this summer?"

You answer with your own question, keeping your voice soft. "I called you as soon as I found your number, didn't I? I swear I would have called you in a heartbeat if I had seen it sooner."

He sighs deeply. "Can you imagine how much harder this semester would have been, though? It was hard enough for us to stay apart this long, and that's after sleeping together only once this summer. We could have potentially built up a lot more… history before the semester started if things had gone differently."

"So you're saying you would have slept with me again if I had called you the next day?" A coy smile comes to your lips and you grip the comforter on your bed.

"If you called me, and that's what you wanted, then of course."

"And the day after that?"

He laughs. "As often as you wanted."

Butterflies stir deep within you. "...and what about now?"

Hongseok is quiet for what feels like a century before he responds. "What is it that you want?"

You bite your lower lip, knowing exactly what you want to say but trying to get up the courage to speak it. Eventually you just force it out. "I want to see you when I'm back from break."

"When do you get back?"

"Sunday afternoon."

"Come over then. I'll be home."

Incredible excitement pulses through you. He's done fighting it. He has given in just as much as you have.

"You'll have to text me your address," you coolly respond.

"I'll do that."

Quiet falls over the line, and you know that there's still something else you need to talk about. "What does all of this mean when it comes to class? It's too late for me to drop and honestly, you haven't done a great job of giving me unbiased grades anyway. You're too good at math for that to have been an accident every time."

"You're right about that, and I apologize again. You, on the other hand, have done a wonderful job keeping me honest."

"Why did you boost my grades, anyway?"

"Because I knew you'd come storming into my office to get it fixed."

"So what, you just wanted to see me?"

"I did."

"You know that was a terrible plan, right?"

"Yes, I'm aware."

"You've really got it bad," you joke. But there's a little bit of weight to it, just a touch of truth.

"And you don't?" He replies, and you feel the same weight in his voice.

You let yourself respond flirtatiously. "How can I not?"

Hongseok lets out a soft chuckle. "We've been screwed since the beginning, I think."

"Agreed," you murmur. "I knew the second I laid eyes on you that I was in trouble."

"It was that easy, huh?"

"It was mostly the tux," you lie. He gets a big ego far too easily.

"Mm. Then what was it the other night? Because I certainly wasn't wearing a tux."

You laugh and shamelessly divulge, "It was the glasses…"

"Really? Those old things?"

"They just looked so… you looked really handsome in them." The blatant compliment is rough on your tongue. It feels weird to so openly tell him that he's attractive.

"Mm," he hums. "I like hearing you say that."

Your already quick heartbeat picks up, but you don't know how to respond. So you just pick up your unfinished train of thought. "Wait, we're getting distracted. How are we going to finish this semester?"

"I swear on my life that I will give you a fair grade. I won't boost it in your favor just to prove my interest, and I also won't lower it if you decide you want nothing to do with me. I understand that I gravely mishandled the first part of this semester, and I just need you to trust that I'll do better this time."

You frown a little. "I want to trust you on that. It at least makes me feel a little better that you were always willing to fix my grade when I told you there was an issue."

"And if you have any further complaints about your grade, we can discuss it. That is always the truth."

"Okay. That makes me feel better." You breathe a little easier.

"And of course, it goes without saying that this should remain between just the two of us."

You sigh heavily. "Then I'm just gonna come clean right now and let you know that Jiyoo and Hwitaek already know."

"You told them?" Hongseok sounds rigid as ever, and you hope you didn’t just ruin his pleasant attitude by telling him that.

"It was an accident! Jiyoo came up to me spouting about how she knows about everything because you blabbed before, and I thought she meant everything everything, so I accidentally said more than I should have. In my defense, I'm obviously not the first one to talk to them about it so I'd appreciate it if you weren't too harsh about this."

He takes a deep breath, and you hear the clink of ice in his glass as he takes a drink. "They really are nosey--well, Jiyoo, mostly. Hwitaek just gets sucked in."

"She's always been that way," you confide.

Hongseok actually chuckles. "That doesn't surprise me."

"It's still kind of weird to me that you know them so well. And then you ended up being my professor? What are the odds?"

"Mmm… I’d say about one in twenty-seven million, nine-hundred-sixty-seven thousand, six-hundred-thirty-two or so."

You laugh in disbelief. "Don’t tell me that you legitimately just did that math in your head.”

“I mean, I can only take partial credit for that because no, I didn’t do the exact math for our situation. I don’t even know how to start calculating that. But I do know that the average probability of winning a six-number lottery is thirteen million, nine-hundred-eighty-three thousand, eight-hundred-sixteen, and I figure our situation is probably even more rare than that, so I just doubled it. That figure is probably still too low, though.”

“Oh my God,” you just shake your head, laughing. “You’re absurd. You just know the exact probability of winning the lottery? And you just did all of that multiplication in your head? Who does that?”

“I do, _____. I’m a mathematical genius.” Hongseok sounds so serious that you can’t help but laugh a little harder, and he laughs right along with you. "It really is unreal, though. I had no idea that I would cross paths with you at the university,” he continues. “Do you feel okay with all of this?"

"Yeah, I do.” You start to regain your composure. “I feel much better now that we're talking."

"Good. I want you to feel okay, especially if we both want to… move forward with any kind of relations."

You have to roll your eyes at his choice of words. "'Relations'? That's what you went with?"

"Ah, yes. 'Rendezvous' would have been better."

"Oh my God, you're an idiot," you laugh wholeheartedly.

He chuckles quietly. "What should I say, then? What do you think is more appropriate?"

"Maybe hook-up?" You offer. "Or… bang sesh? Fuck fest?"

That elicits deeper laughter from him. "All good options, I suppose."

"Or if you wanted something a little softer… maybe… a date?"

"I like that suggestion." His voice is warm when he responds, and then more quietly he says, "I was afraid that I ruined everything because of the way you ran out. I thought I went too far and made you regret the whole thing."

Butterflies stir deep in your belly. "You didn't ruin a thing. But I was definitely surprised when you kissed me. And… you said you couldn't stop thinking about me. I had no idea."

"I've spent more time thinking about you than I'd care to admit, if I'm being honest."

You let yourself smile broadly when he says that. It's not like he can see you grinning like a fool, anyway. "What would you think about?" You prod.

"Most of the time, it's your eyes."

"Really?"

"They're so intense, and so honest. It’s unbelievably easy to feel connected to you because of that, even when you’re mad or upset." He softly muses. "And when I'm not thinking about your eyes, I'm thinking about the way you danced with me at the wedding reception. Or the incredible music you make when you sit down at the piano. Your passion is truly amazing."

You appreciate the compliment, but that's not really the type of conversation you're trying to have right now. "And what about when you're alone? What do you think about when you think of me then?"

"Are you looking for something a little more R-rated? Is that what you want?" He teases you.

You sink a little lower into your bed, humming quietly in agreement.

"Those are the times when I think about the curve of your body, your clothes on the floor, you pinned under me." He confidently responds.

"Mm… Are you alone now?"

"I am." He responds darkly. "So yes, those are the thoughts currently going through my head."

A delicious flame of pleasure licks at the space between your thighs, and you drag your fingers subconsciously across your throat. "I have very similar thoughts… like thinking about your face buried between my legs." You don't allow yourself to be embarrassed by the bold statement--you're too turned on to think critically, anyway.

“Just you wait until Sunday, _____.” The mellow timbre of his voice has taken on some edge. “I have to warn you, though. I can’t guarantee that I’ll let you leave once you get here.”

“I want you to wreck me, Hongseok. Just absolutely demolish me when I get there.” Your voice becomes increasingly breathy as your hand slides up under your shirt, pushing your bra out of the way and toying with your nipples. Christ, what you wouldn’t do to replace your hand with his right now.

“If you’re going to keep talking like that, I think that can certainly be arranged.”

Pinching your nipple, you let out a soft gasp. All rational thought is very quickly going out the window as your need for release quickly takes over.

“_____, are you touching yourself?”

You know your noises aren’t quiet enough to prevent getting caught, but you’re also not at all guilty about being caught. You let your voice be sultry. “What if I am?”

“Then I just might have to join you,” Hongseok responds, fucking cool as a cucumber like always.

Your stomach twists into a delicious knot--you’d love nothing more than to masturbate with him over the phone. But before you get too carried away, there are a few things you want to take care of first. You abandon your chest, fumbling for the headphones that lie tangled up on your nightstand, knowing that you’re going to want both of your hands free for this. You also stuff a blanket along the bottom of your bedroom door to block the light coming from your room and help muffle any sound--your family should all be asleep by now, but it doesn’t hurt to be careful.

“You always get me thinking about things I shouldn’t be thinking.” His voice comes through your headphones loud and clear, and your phone buzzes in your hand with the receipt of a text message. “Check your phone.”

You quickly realize the message is from him, and as soon as you open the message, you swallow hard. Hongseok sent you a picture of himself lounging in bed, in nothing but low-slung sweatpants. At the top of the frame you can just barely make out his teeth biting into his plush lower lip, and his muscular abdomen takes up the majority of the screen. But perhaps the most important and eye-catching piece of the whole photo is the unmistakable outline of his hard cock through the fabric of his sweats, emphasized by his hand holding the base and pulling his pants tight against his erection. You have no doubt that he must have taken photos like this a thousand times before because no one is that good at taking sexy shots without some practice.

“F-fuck,” you mumble, completely caught off-guard by the photo. Every thought you have is some combination of you wanting to kiss or lick or bite or suck every inch of him, and you try your hardest to form a coherent sentence. “Oh my God, you’re such a tease.”

“You don’t like it?”

“No it’s fucking amazing but Christ, what am I supposed to do with this?”

“Well if you’re open to suggestions, you could maybe send something back.”

You pause for just a second, contemplating, and then respond. “Okay, hold on.”

You know that getting a good photo could easily take you twenty minutes, so you reserve yourself to the fact that you’re just going to have to settle for whatever you can get in the next sixty seconds. You quickly shimmy out of your sweatpants so you’re just in your blue cotton underwear and a graphic tee. You pull up the hem of the shirt to expose a little of your tummy, and then try to snap a picture similar to his. It’s not quite enough, though, so at the last second you decide to slip your fingers into your panties, pulling the band down with your thumb to show off some extra skin.

There. That’s the shot.

“Okay, I’m sending it,” you tell him quietly, your hand oddly shaky as you press Send.

He hums softly in acknowledgement, and you hear him suck in a breath as soon as he opens the picture. “Fucking hell,” Hongseok groans. “You are so hot it is unbelievable.”

A devilish grin creeps onto your lips. You love that he’s just as floored by you as you are by him. “What are you gonna do about it?”

"For starters, I'll put that rotten mouth of yours to good use. And then--what was it? I'll wreck you. Ruin you. Demolish you. I'll pin you to the wall, the bed, the floor, and I'll stuff you with my cock until you can't think straight."

Jesus Christ this man knows just what to say. You haphazardly push your panties down, kicking them off onto the floor as your fingers graze over your slick pussy. "Too bad we have to wait a whole two days for that."

"I guess I'll just have to fill the time thinking of you and stroking my cock."

His words send a delicious shiver down your spine. "Maybe you'd like to think of how wet I am right now, how easily--aahh--how easily my fingers slip right inside." You glide one finger into your pussy, delighted by the way your nerves completely light up at the sensation. Your other hand returns to your chest, making sure your whole body is tended to.

"Fuck," he chuckles playfully. "You've got me so hard, _____."

"Ugh I just wanna ride you forever." You hear him moan quietly over the line. "Are you touching yourself, too?"

"Of course I am. How can I not when you paint such a lewd picture of yourself in my head?"

"I'm fingering myself and wishing you were here, Hongseok. I wanna be strewn out, completely wasted because I'm so drunk on you."

"Tell me what you're doing, _____."

"I've got one finger pumping slowly in and out of my pussy. My palm--nggh--is pressing against my clit. And my other hand is up my shirt, pinching my nipple. It feels so good, Hongseok, oh my God…" You start to get carried away in the pleasure you create for yourself, and you struggle to keep focused.

"I want you here so badly," Hongseok groans, and you know it's because of his pleasure. "I swear I have never in my life wanted anything as much as I want you right now."

Your heart flutters uncontrollably. How does he always manage to make these moments feel romantic? You desperately want to respond, I'm all yours if you want me to be, Hongseok, but it feels too heavy. Too laden with emotion. You swallow all of that down and respond with a much safer, "Tell me what you're doing right now, Hongseok."

"I'm thrusting my cock into my fist and desperately wishing it was your pussy instead, wishing I could fill my hands with your ass and occupy my lips with yours."

You whimper at his words. Imagining him fucking his hand drives you absolutely wild, especially when accompanied with such sweet words. And you can hear his hard breathing, his deep dulcet tones as he tells you exactly what you want to hear.

Hongseok continues, "My cock is throbbing in my hand, fuck, I wanna be inside of you so bad."

"I'm dying to feel your cock again," you moan quietly, careful to keep your volume low. As you slip in another finger, you feel the deep pressure that you know precedes some of your most amazing orgasms. Oh, this is gonna be good. "Fuck, Hongseok…"

He moans softly too, murmuring your name as he pleasures himself. "I want to feel your wet pussy squeezing my cock," he groans. "What do you think, _____?"

"I want it, Hongseok, I want you to…" You're cut off by the buzzing of your phone.

"Check your phone," Hongseok breathily commands.

You release your nipple and pick up your phone with one hand, the other coming to a standstill with two fingers still pressed inside you. Electric anticipation shoots through you at the thought of receiving another dirty photo from him.

But this time, it's not a photo.

Hongseok sent you a video.

With a shaky hand you press play, and you're immediately drowning in lust. The video shows his hand tightly gripping his cock as it moves up and down the shaft, slick with spit or lube or something. You hear him hum your name in the video's sound.

"I want to feel your wet pussy squeezing my cock," he groaned, and it sounds even more filthy and amazing because he recorded it. And then the video shifts up his torso and to his stunningly handsome face. Hongseok stares right into the camera, flicks his tongue across his lower lip, and asks, "What do you think, _____?"

You watch it again, open-mouthed in shock and practically imploding. Not only is the video the single most sexy thing you've ever seen, but he was brave enough to send you his face? If you wanted to, you could use this video alone to turn him in to the school. He literally just handed you blackmail.

You would never, ever in a million years use this video for that purpose, though. It's just amazing to you that he would trust you so much to send you such incriminating content.

"Hongseok," you finally speak. "You are so unbelievably perfect."

"Hardly," he lets out a soft, low chuckle. "I'm just horny out of my mind right now."

"Me too, and fuck it feels so good."

"I want to see you, _____."

Your breath catches in your throat. You've never taken a video of yourself like that before, and it sends a dangerous thrill through you that he's asking for one. And as you pick up your phone, you see the call screen, and you notice that small little camera--the tiniest suggestion that you could change this call to a video call at any moment.

And then you dare to press it.

The phone rings again as you wait for Hongseok to answer the video call, and you're wholly unprepared to see his face when he picks up.

He looks at his phone for a moment, just looking at you, and then the most beautiful smile breaks across his face. "Hey."

Every organ in your chest is an absolute wreck. "Hey," you echo.

"This isn't quite what I expected when I said I wanted to see you, but I'll take it."

"It's convenient though, isn't it?" Your walls involuntarily clench around your fingers, reminding you of your need for release. "Let me… show you."

You lower the phone to skim down your body--although your top half is still covered by your t-shirt so you're really not showing much--and when you get down to the hand tucked between your legs, you lift one leg and wrap your arm around it to get a good shot of your pussy. Your fingers press deep into your slit, and you moan for Hongseok.

"Shit, _____, you look so good. I wish I could taste you."

You pull out your fingers and separate them, showing him the strings of your wetness that spread between your digits. "That's what you want?" And then you bring your hand and your phone up towards your face, putting on your best sultry eyes as you twirl your tongue around the tips of your fingers.

Hongseok groans, "Oh Christ," and then he shows you his cock, forcing you to plunge your fingers back inside your pussy out of sheer desperation.

"Hongseok, I wanna cum so bad," you whimper. You can feel it building deep within you, and you just need something to push you over the edge. And honestly, watching him work his cock might just be enough.

You feel absolutely depraved watching him stroke himself, curling your fingers into your pussy as you masturbate together. It's delightfully sinful and you're obsessed with the way it makes you feel.

"Hong… Hongseok…" you moan his name, forcing your eyes to stay open so that you can keep your focus on his hard length. The coil in your abdomen tightens to its limit, and you're entirely aware that the dam is about to break. You struggle to keep your pussy in frame, as you push yourself over the edge. "Watch, watch! I'm coming…"

And just like that, your whole pussy convulses and you abruptly pull out your fingers, watching as you squirt all over your bed. It's nearly impossible to prevent your moaning, so you do your best to keep the volume down as you explode.

Hongseok sounds just as pleased as you thought he might be when you hear a string of expletives come over the line. But even his words are broken up with soft grunts and almost-moans. "I didn't know… you could do that."

"Sometimes," you laugh, quite out of breath from the water show. "Do you like it?"

"Of course I do," his hand picks up its pace. "I want to make you squirt next time."

"You can do that," you acknowledge. Even after your release, you notice that your clit isn't at all sensitive and you are still pretty turned on. So you keep your hand down there, absentmindedly rubbing circles into your bud.

It's not long before you feel the need to engage your hips. You start thrusting up against your fingers, but you want something more.

"I need your cock," you moan to him, partially convinced that his body is the only thing you’re missing.

"I can't even tell you how badly I want to give it to you," he responds in a dark, sultry tone. On camera, he starts to thrust up into his hand instead of just stroking it, and you think it looks absolutely amazing. You thrust your hips in time with his, but you need more.

Less-than-gracefully, you climb up onto your hands and knees, propping your phone up against your headboard. He gets a nice tall shot of you kneeling on the bed, legs spread and strings of juices hanging from your pussy, and you hear him groan something about how he loves this view.

You grab your pillow and fold it in half for extra height before tucking it between your legs and spreading your folds so that your clit rubs directly against the pillowcase. You ruthlessly hump your pillow, eyes completely trained on your phone so you don't miss a second of Hongseok's jerking.

"Christ, you're unbelievably sexy. That is so hot, _____," Hongseok groans. His hand twists the head of his cock before plunging back down the shaft, his arm muscles bulging as he quickly jerks off. You can see his cock rapidly twitching, pulsing extra hard as he approaches orgasm.

“Think about me riding you, Hongseok,” you quietly moan, trying to encourage him to climax. “Think about burying your cock in my pussy and grabbing my hips and filling me up with your cum.”

“Is that what you want?” His breathing is ragged. “You want me to cum inside you?”

“Yes, I want it,” you confess, and you know it’s the truth. You’ve fantasized about letting him fuck you raw so he can feel every inch of you as he cums. You’re dying to know what that feels like.

“Fucking Christ…” Hongseok’s hand moves a little faster, strokes a little deeper, until it’s clear that he can’t hold back anymore. “_____…”

With just a few more pumps, Hongseok finally releases, his throaty moans accompanying each rope of cum that shoots up onto his chest. Between the sounds and the visual he provides, you simply cannot handle yourself.

“Hongseok,” you murmur his name. You continue to grind against your pillow, blissfully soaking it with your juices. The delicious tension in your abdomen is too much--it's coiled too tightly and it's going to snap any second now.

Your eyes squeeze shut so you can better imagine Hongseok lying beneath you, his calloused hands grasping your waist as you rock and grind your hips.

"_____, you're perfect. Fucking perfect. Ride me, _____." He seems to play along with the fantasy in your head, inching you closer until you finally break.

Pure, blissful pleasure rushes through you like adrenaline as you orgasm, roughly dragging your clit over the cotton of your pillowcase. It takes everything in you to keep quiet, and your thighs tremble with each powerful wave.

And when you finally open your eyes, you see Hongseok watching you with so much adoration it makes you want to cry.

"That was amazing," you pant, breathing hard from the exertion of your orgasm.

"It was amazing to watch, too." Hongseok beams. "I am so attracted to you it kills me."

You collapse onto your bed, tossing your pillow aside and picking up your phone. Hongseok genuinely appears to be glowing, and you can't help but wonder if he sees you the same way. You just smile and say, "I can't wait to see you."

"Neither can I," he responds warmly. He takes a moment to wipe the cum off of his chest with a towel, and then he settles back into his bed, lying on his side and gazing sweetly at you through his phone. "I can't tell you how badly I want to kiss you right now."

"I wish you could. Man, you're such a good kisser."

“Sunday. I’ll kiss you all I want on Sunday.”

It’s weird how much you wish you could just reach through the phone and touch him, run your fingers over his cheek, brush his hair out of his eyes. Your heart pounds as your eyes skim over his face, taking in his beautiful image. He makes you feel so warm and happy. It’s undeniable that you’ve got feelings for him. And so you don’t even think twice before the words come out of your mouth: “I like you, Hongseok. I don’t care that you’re my professor. I’m done worrying about that because I just like you and I want you and that’s all there is to it.”

It’s true. One-hundred percent.

Hongseok’s smile is small and sweet, but bursting with tenderness. “I like you too, _____. I don’t care about you being my student, either. We’ll make this work for us.”

“Mhm.” The fluttering in your chest is endless, and you know this couldn’t feel more right. “We’ll make it work.”

You both stay on the line as you turn off lights and tuck into bed. Hongseok talks to you about nothing, and your mind is finally at ease as your eyelids start to become heavy with sleep. His voice is a lullaby and when you finally fall asleep, you dream of nothing but the warmth of his arms.

POST SCRIPT | Thank you for reading! Please stay tuned for Part 11, and let me know if you want to be tagged when I post it!

#ksmutclub #uninet #universe-net #hongseok smut #yang hongseok smut #pentagon smut #pentagon hongseok smut #hongseok #yang hongseok #ptg hongseok #pentagon hongseok #pentagon fanfic #pentagon fanfics #pentagon scenarios #pentagon scenario #hongseok scenario #hongseok scenarios #hongseok fanfic #hongseok fanfics

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yuthoe · 4 years ago

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#MayTropeMayhem2021 Master List

FIND THE POST BY DUCKPRINTSPRESS HERE

[Title]* - NSFW

Day 1: Friends to Lovers

(ONEUS: Keonhee)

Day 2: "... but I thought you were straight!"

(PENTAGON: Kino)

Day 3: Celebrity Setting

Excursion (ONEUS: Xion)

Day 4: Mistaken Identity

Oops (PENTAGON: Wooseok)

Day 5: Wedding Day

(PENTAGON: Hui)*

Day 6: Artist & Model

Muse (MONSTA X: Minhyuk)*

Day 7: College Setting

(ONEUS: Seoho)

Day 8: Creature Character

(PENTAGON: Yuto)

Day 9: Coffee Shop Setting

(PENTAGON: Yeo One)

Day 10: Meet Cute

Meet Cute (PENTAGON: Kino)

Day 11: Soulmates

Opposites Attract (MONSTA X: Minhyuk)

Day 12: Didn't Know They Were Dating

(ONEUS: Hwanwoong)

Day 13: First Kiss

Bunny Cheeks (MONSTA X: Wonho)

Day 14: Character has a Disability

Legally Blind (PENTAGON: Shinwon)

Day 15: OMG They were Roommates!

(MONSTA X: Jooheon)

Day 16: Two Person Love Triangle

(ONEUS: Keonhee)

Day 17: Sharing a Bed

Closer (ONEUS: Leedo)

Day 18: Historical Setting

Forbidden (MONSTA X: I.M.)*

Day 19: Arranged Marriage

(PENTAGON: Jinho)

Day 20: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics

(MONSTA X: Wonho)*

Day 21: Love Confession

(ONEUS: RAVN)

Day 22: Fake Dating

Reunion (MONSTA X: Kihyun)

Day 23: Awkward Flirting

(ONEUS: Seoho)

Day 24: Meeting Online

(PENTAGON: Hongseok)

Day 25: Trapped Together

(PENTAGON: Hui)

Day 26: Polyamory

(MONSTA X: Kihyun & Hyungwon)

Day 27: Sick Fic

TLC (MONSTA X: Shownu)

Day 28: Fantasy Setting

(PENTAGON: Yanan)

Day 29: Reverse Verse/Trope Inversion → Fake NOT Dating

Covert (PENTAGON: Shinwon)

Day 30: Sports Setting

Partners (MONSTA X: Hyungwon)

Day 31: Friends to Lovers

Against the Rules (ONEUS: Leedo)

#pentagon #oneus #monsta x #pentagon masterlist #oneus masterlist #monsta x masterlist #ptg: masterlist #oneus: masterlist #monx: masterlist #monsta x smut #pentagon smut

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puppywritings · 5 years ago

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work friends

pairing: yang hongseok x male reader word count: 710 description: you and hongseok were work friends, and you knew that a relationship probably wasn’t a good idea. but, oh, it was so tempting, wasn’t it? masterlist

Your feelings about your job weren’t all that complicated. If Hongseok was working the same shift as you, you enjoyed it. If Hongseok wasn’t on your shift, you didn’t enjoy it. He had the power to make or break your day at work, and it had been that way since the beginning. Three years ago, you had begun working in a local Starbucks, a small side job to provide you with more money throughout college. Hongseok, who was working there to support his singing career, had been the one to train you. The two of you had hit it off immediately, and three years on, you would consider him one of your closest friends. Additionally, you had feelings for him that only grew each day, but you tried not to think about that; you wouldn’t want to make things awkward at work.

Things were just lighter when Hongseok was around. You laughed at his cheesy puns, and made him groan with your own awful jokes. Even rude customers weren’t so bad when Hongseok was around to roll his eyes and give you a sympathetic pat on the back. Not only did he make work bearable - he made it enjoyable. Not to mention his dazzling smile, his warm, beautiful eyes, and the way his strong, muscular arms looked through his shirt sleeves. You had it bad for Hongseok, and it was getting harder to deny it.

Locking up the place together with Hongseok one night, these very things were on your mind. Particularly the way his arms looked as he mopped the floor. You shook yourself out of the trance you had entered, resuming your cleaning of the counters with a sigh. Hongseok finished his task long before you, owing mostly to the time you spent daydreaming. Rather than help, he placed his elbows on the other side of the counter, laying his head on his fists.

“You missed a spot,” he commented, his intentions leaning more towards teasing you than assisting you. You rolled your eyes but smiled nonetheless. He continued to watch until you finished, and you could hardly ignore the way your heart dropped a little, knowing you had to bid him goodbye.

“You ready to go?” Hongseok asked, and you nodded, forcing a smile. He turned to leave, expecting you to follow, but you stood rooted to your stop.

“Actually, Hongseok...” you called out to him.

“Hm?” he spoke, spinning around to face you, so that you could see an adorable, confused, curious look on his face.

You took a deep breath, holding on tightly to the sudden rush of courage that had hit you. “Maybe we should... I don’t know. Maybe we should go out together some time. Maybe meet up for a drink or something? Probably not coffee, though. I don’t know about you but I’m completely sick of it.” You cut off your words, becoming very aware of how much you were rambling. Hongseok was quiet for a few moments, and you chewed your lip anxiously. A glance up at his face didn’t clue you in to what his answer would be - his expression was unreadable.

“I... I really prefer to keep work and romance separate.”

“Right,” you uttered, your heart dropping to the floor and feeling as if it had fallen a hundred stories. “That’s probably a good idea, I’m sorry.”

Hongseok nodded slowly, casting his gaze towards the floor. Neither of you made any move to leave. The silence almost killed you, and you desperately wanted to go home, to sit alone and watch a feel-good movie, to mourn what could have been. Before you could do anything, however, Hongseok spoke again.

“Actually, no. I’m sorry. That’s usually a rule of mine but... I really, really have to break it for you, Y/N. We really should go out some time.”

You swore your mood had never climbed so high in such little time before. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Hongseok confirmed, giving you a smile brighter than you had ever seen.

“I’ll call you,” Hongseok promised, his smile still present. “We’ll arrange something.”

Though you had never done so before, you gave him a hug goodbye. If the hour-long phone call you had that night wasn’t encouraging, you didn’t know what would be.

#hongseok #yang hongseok #pentagon #kpop #male reader #kpop x male reader #kpop imagines #kpop mlm #kpop lgbt #pentagon imagines #hongseok imagines #pentagon x male reader #hongseok x male reader

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milkybonya · 4 years ago

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goodbye for now

Warnings: angsty mcangst - arguments

Pairing: boyfriend!Hongseok x (gender neutral)reader!

Summary: Hongseok and you have to take a break from dating because of a few mistakes the two of you made, but you promise to meet again after two years. *inspired by goodbye for now by Kyuhyun

[a/n]: this has been in my drafts since May !! now since i was low on ideas, i decided to flesh it out :D

“Okay, let’s calm down-” Hongseok said, his voice cracking from a throat stripped dry because of all of the shouted words that left it.

“No, Hongseok! I will not just calm down! I’ve been holding things in for too long, always avoiding arguments because I want our relationship to be perfect, but nothing is perfect, Hongseok.”

Hongseok’s eyes were filled with tears, not only because of this argument and seeing you hurt, but hearing you call him ‘Hongseok’ instead of ‘Hong’ broke his heart. It meant that you were truly upset.

“I know that, sweetie-”

“I know you want to hide our relationship because you don’t want to ruin your ‘smart and unbothered’ image at college, but did you really have to yell and blame me when people found out?”

“I know-”

“I did nothing wrong! No you know what, it’s my fault. It’s my fault for deciding to date you in secret-”

“Would you please let me speak!” Hongseok yelled, raising his arms in anger.

“[y/n], I was surprised, okay? I was surprised and shocked and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you-”

“But you did, Hongseok.”

“You’re interrupting, [y/n],” Hongseok said, sternly. His eyes were glaring, his face dotted with sweat.

“I’ve been so obedient to you. So what if I interrupt? I’m tired, Hongseok. I’m leaving.”

You grabbed your coat from where it lay on Hongseok’s beige, fabric couch, ready to storm off just like you’d seen in the movies.

Hongseok was one step ahead. He grabbed your arm, also like in the movies.

“Let’s just take a break. I can’t risk losing you forever. Let’s take a break and meet again later,” he said. Your back was facing him, but you could tell his eyes were on you.

“Two years. Two years and I’ll meet you in the café we frequent. We’ll decide on things then.”

Now, you stormed off, slamming the door of his apartment behind you. Your heart was racing, full of adrenaline. Yet you felt unsatisfied. Why did I agree to take a break instead of ending things completely? Am I still so attached to him?

I did look badass walking away like that, though. I’ll forgive myself this time.

You buried your heartbreak with your temporary boost in self-esteem, and you went out to walk through the streets and feel yourself in all your glory. Every step was one of power, freedom. Every breath felt holy and every move felt important.

Unknowingly, many glances were directed your way. You were beautiful, walking confidently like that.

But it wouldn’t last long.

Back home, your apartment was full of Hongseok.

His clothes, a toothbrush, small pieces of himself that took hours of searching around to find. You put them all in a black plastic bag and kicked it towards the door of your apartment.

You planned to return them to Hongseok, but never did.

The rest of the school year, you’d walk the other way when you saw Hongseok coming. You blocked his number and never spoke about him, changing the subject when your friends asked. Everyone eventually found out that the two of you were taking a break, but never because you told them.

You made sure to never give a reason for Hongseok to yell at you like that again.

The memory made you shudder.

The feeling of everyone staring in the Student Centre as Hongseok yelled, blaming everything on you. You felt helpless, wondering why someone you loved would ridicule you like that. No one came to save you, you had to save yourself.

That’s what the two years of being away from Hongseok were all about. Learning to save yourself. For too long, you had wanted to please Hongseok, make him happy.

It was time you learned how to make yourself happy.

You had no idea how Hongseok was faring during his time away from you.

Well, a lot of crying happened.

He cried for a long time, for many days and weeks. He was a mess and if he wasn’t force-fed by his friends, he wouldn’t have survived. All he did was blame himself.

Then, he decided he was going to be a better man. For you and for himself. No longer caring about his image so much, he took a break from school to discover himself. Who he was and what he enjoyed doing.

The two of you became stronger separately before reuniting in a café you had once loved.

Now it was dingy, old, falling apart. Yet it held many memories and was special to you for that reason.

Pulling out a chair, you let your coat fall back behind you as you took a seat. Of course Hongseok is late. I always arrived before him.

“[y/n]? I’m over here?” a familiar voice called. You looked to your right and found him, Hongseok, completely changed.

His hair scattered with red highlights and a ring around his lip that made it look more plump than ever... you had never known Hongseok to look like this. He was also taken aback by your more fanciful clothes.

“So, Hongseok. When did you get here?” you asked him, propping your elbow on your knee and placing your chin in your palm.

“Twenty minutes ago. I got your favourite drink,” he said, pushing a glass towards you.

You took a sip of it, closing your eyes and letting the taste take you back in time.

“Can I have some of it too?” Hongseok asked. You nodded and he took a sip, smiling.

“I remember your lips would always taste like this when I kissed you,” Hongseok said.

There it was. The Hongseok you first fell in love with. The flirty, cheeky idiot who made your heart beat ten times faster than it should.

#hongseok #yang hongseok #hongseok scenario #hongseok au #hongseok imagine #hongseok angst #hongseok x reader #yang hongseok imagine #yang hongseok scenario #pentagon #pentagon scenario #pentagon imagine #pentagon scenarios #pentagon angst #pentagon au #kpop #kpop fanfic #kpop fanfiction #kpop story

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julyarchives · 4 years ago

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masterlist!

key: ✿ (fluff) | ♡ (smut) | ✰ (angst) | ✻ (horror)

Requests are open!

Don’t You Hear Me Howling?

Pairing: Changgu (Yeo One) x Reader | Kino x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04 • 05 • 06 • 07• 08

Finding out you are a female Alpha sparkled some rivalry inside your pack, and resulted in you losing your best friend and your life turning upside down, so leaving for college was the fresh start you needed. Years later, you are about to finish your degree and suddenly this past comes back to mess with your head.

Teach Me Series

Pairing: Wooseok x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03 • 04

Friends with benefits to lovers

A collection of friends to lovers that can be read as a multi-chapter story or independent one-shots

Thicker Than Blood

Pairing: OT9 x Reader

Index: 01 • 02 • 03

Mafia AU

Growing up in a tough neighborhood had you learning to deal with hard situations, the occasion leads you to cooperate with the mafia organization that took care of your neighborhood - Pentagon. Looking after yourself and valuing your safety brought you to adapt to the moment, but the line between working for them and protecting yourself is very blurry when you are forced to live under their roof.

Christmas Lights Special ✿

Pairing: Reader x OT9

Index: Here

2020 Christmas inspired fluffy one-shots to warm your heart during the winter season

REDAMANCY ♡ Hui x Reader x Yeo One

(n) the act of loving the one who loves you; a love returned in full

When your boyfriend Hui wasn’t treating you right, you didn’t expect someone else to do so. And you definitely did not expect Hui was going to be there to watch everything.

[or the one where Changgu shows your boyfriend how you deserve to be treated, and he likes it.]

The Things We Do In The Dark ♡ Hui x Reader x Hongseok

Treating yourself with an expensive night out turned out to be way more rewarding than you thought when you meet the two hot club owners Hui and Hongseok.

Eyes on me ♡ Hongseok x Reader x Wooseok

You always knew your friendship with Wooseok was really special, and the best part is that your boyfriend Hongseok wants to always make you happy. Who are the best people to take such good care of you if not your two favorite boys in the world?

Love Is Plural ♡ Yanan x Reader x Wooseok

Dealing with two boyfriends might be tricky, but the advantages of having twice the fun make everything better.

Triple Fun ♡ Yuto x Reader x Wooseok

An uneventful movie night ends up becoming way more fun than you would have imagined

Watch Me ♡ Shinwon x Reader x Hui

An open relationship takes a lot of trust and friendship, and that is not a problem for you and your boyfriend Shinwon, especially when he's so cool about your crush on one of his best friends - Hui.

Mixtapes and Love letters ✿ Jinho x Reader x Hui

A mix-up of feelings makes a mix-up of letters, but much to your surprise, Jinho and Hui come through with their feelings for you.

(One-Shot)

Lee Hwitaek (Hui)

Take Me Higher ♡ You're assigned for a different flight than you were used to, but once you saw Hui there you knew it was going to be a fun trip.

Sweet Melody ♡ You showed up at your boyfriend’s band practice to support and take care of him and seeing how tired he was, you just had to do something to boost his energy and reward him after such hard work.

High Heels and Night Skies ♡ "My lifestyle demands certain appearances that would be much better with you accompanying me, and I can provide everything you need to. You would have to be available and ready for our…" he paused "dates"

"So you want to be my sugar daddy?" You scoffed, more amused than offended.

Complicated ♡ Your ex gets really jealous after seeing you flirting with someone else at a party, and he makes sure you don't forget anymore who do you belong to.

Jo Jinho (Jinho)

Wonderfully Wrong ✰ ✿ When you thought your boyfriend Jinho forgot your anniversary it really upset you, but later that night you realized how wrong you were

Closer ♡ You thought you would be nervous on your first time with your boyfriend Jinho, but everything about being with him is simply perfect.

Skinny Love ✿ You didn't understand why your roommate was so angry when his friends started interacting with you, but everything was clear when he decided to be honest with you

Baby, pull me closer ✰♡ If you had ever believed in soulmates, it was because of Jo Jinho. When you were just hanging out at a bar with a few coworkers on a Friday night, the last thing you expected was to be confronted with your past.

Yang Hongseok (Hongseok)

Reuniting ♡ Coming back home and meeting with your best friend, you weren’t expecting the night to take such a surprising turn.

Lazy Days and Loving Touches ♡ Doing nothing with your boyfriend can be interesting when your boyfriend is Hongseok.

Meant To Be ✰ ✿ You didn’t think you would have to deal with past feelings until you meet your ex-boyfriend Hongseok, right after your current boyfriend proposes to you.

Ko Shinwon (Shinwon)

Warm Water, Slow Hands ♡ After having a rough day at work, a relaxing bath prepared by your boyfriend Shinwon is the best thing you could have asked for.

Late Night Gym ♡ Going to the gym isn’t always the part of the night you look forward to the most, but after you started flirting with Shinwon things just might work out well for you.

Focus ♡ Your boyfriend Shinwon puts you in your place when you lash out at him after a bad day, and you love every second of it.

Play For The Win ✿ Shinwon and you discover a common passion and it turns out that the soccer stadium is the perfect place to fall in love

Just Breathe ✿ When the world seems to be closing around you, your boyfriend Shinwon is the only one who can make you feel like breathing again

Yeo Changgu (Yeo One)

Drip ♡ Seeing Changgu looking so handsome at a wedding leads you two to a steamy shower after the party.

Elysian ♡ Spending Valentine’s day with your boyfriend is always special, and Changgu knows how to make you happy in every possible way.

So Bad ✿ You couldn’t find a better way to put your feelings into words, so you let a song speak for you when you couldn’t hold back your feelings for Changgu.

Lovers In The Night ♡ Dating an idol is already hard, and when you debut it gets even harder, but your boyfriend Changgu knows just how to make up for all the time spent apart

Yan An (Yanan)

Scintilla ♡ Having to deal with the most handsome and cocky nemesis can be fun when that person is Yanan

Sparke (Scintilla pt.2) ♡ Falling for your enemy can be dangerous, but Yanan doesn't make it easy to just forget about him.

Lunar Love ♡ Stuck between forbidden love and duty to the kingdom, decisions under the moonlight may change everything

Oblivious ✿ It all feels right when you and Yanan admit you love each other more than friends.

Adachi Yuto (Yuto)

Halloween Party ♡ At a Halloween party, you had let your insecurities take the best of you, but Yuto showed you that there was nothing to be ashamed of.

Vorfreude ♡ Vorfreude (n). The joyful, intense anticipation that comes from imagining future pleasures.

Into You ✿ First dates can be a little awkward, so you thought that a carnival would be a good place to make it fun, and Yuto definitely is the best company for that.

In The Dark ✿ Late-night feelings always seem more intense, but it's better when they are mutual.

Fireworks In My Heart ✿ going to a lantern festival with Yuto

Afterglow ♡ comforting Yuto after he's had a long day.

Kang Hyunggu (Kino)

Die For You ✻ Being taken hostage turns out to be what you needed to find what you have always been looking for.

Earned It ♡ Secretly dating the Teacher’s Assistant has its perks, especially when you two get the classroom all by yourselves and he enjoys his new pet name.

Among Flowers ♡ If you had to pick a favorite place on earth, it would be your boyfriend’s flower shop. A new relationship can come with a few insecurities, but nothing that would be a problem for you and Hyunggu

Something About You ♡ Visiting Hyunggu in his studio ends up with you helping him finish his song in the best way you could have thought.

Blossom ✿ You can see all the colors perfectly, except your soulmate’s favorite, but you were a little skeptical about that. You just didn’t expect to be proven wrong when your best friend’s brother takes you on a fake date.

Sunrise ✿ Spending the night getting to know Hyunggu better is as sweet as it sounds.

Jung Wooseok (Wooseok)

DO or NOT ♡ To All The Boys I've Loved Before AU

Come With Me ♡ Your boyfriend Wooseok tries to convince you to move in with him with a very compelling argument.

Safe Place ✿ Wooseok comforts you after you second guess your attitudes on a drunken night.

Third Time Is The Charm ✿ Two times you and Wooseok didn't kiss, and one time you did.

Play With Fire ♡ Working with Pentagon becomes harder when Wooseok notices you. It doesn't help that he looks extremely hot in the new concept.

Teach Me ♡ The boys were making fun of Wooseok for not being as experienced as them, and since you two have always been good friends, you decided it was a good idea to give him the help he needs.

Secret Rendezvous ♡ After the last encounter, Wooseok was acting a little weird and distant, but the boys made sure to help you two get closer again. Really closer.

Impulsive ♡ A lot of things go through your head when you think about your relationship with Wooseok - and so you feel very conflicted. You two can’t help but go for each other every time you are together, but where will that lead you two?

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kpoptrashlord-007 · 6 years ago

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kweebtrash · 6 years ago

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When I Was In Love (M)

Sexual Liberation Ch 14-Everyone Focused

Pairings: Hui/Kino/Hongseok/E’Dawn x Reader/OC

Genre: College AU, Smut, Angst

Summary: College is about experimentation, being free, and having no strings attached fun. Hui, Kino, And E’Dawn have messed around with their best friend ever since last spring. Now that summer is over and they’re back in America, their sexual antics have intensified especially when everyone starts catching feels. Throw Hongseok into the mix and it creates a swirling mess of emotions and an ultimate decision that might hurt everyone.

Warning: a lot of angst, multiple POV’s

Features: there’s some small sexual details but not any full scenes.

Word Count: <10k

A/N: Hey guys and thanks for reading all the way to the end of S.L. Thank you for being patient with the extended delay between Ch 13 and this one. I’m still in the process of writing more Pentagon stories, it’s just taking me longer because lmao I have 50 million ideas and never am able to finish them. I appreciate all the feedback for the story and am still in the process of getting all the chapters updated. This one is written a bit differently and I hoped that it would give more insight on everyone’s relationship with the MC. One more little thing...don’t hate me ok? See you at the end of the chapter!

Teenage Heartbreak Queen-Kino

I sighed and ran a hand over my face as I surveyed my almost barren room. Spring semester was officially over and i had to stuff my entire life into a luggage and head back to Korea for the summer. My last few days in America had been spent cramming for finals and packing and I longed for more sleep. My body was starting to give out on me. I was hardly looking forward to the almost 17 hour flight back. I stepped out of my room, hauling out a bag of trash to the hallway. Beside me were the empty rooms of my hyungs, already long gone and living their lives back home. Their nonexistent presence made the dorm eerily quiet and left me too much in my head. There were thoughts bubbling up that I didn’t have enough energy to exert on right now but they still weighed on my shoulders. I hadn’t gotten a chance to ask Hui-hyung or Hyo-hyung if they had said goodbye to her.

We had been around her almost the entire semester like we were all attached to one another and clinging to some semblance of fun, pleasure, and the most nauseating and scary feeling of possibly love. Nights on end were spent with us occupying each others beds. I had given up my virginity to her in a whirlwind of anger and frustration. I would never forget the way she looked pressed against the mirrors of the dance practice room; her breath and heated body creating foggy imprints as I pushed into her from behind. I had been confident at first but as soon as she was naked in front of me I choked. Every nerve in my body seemed to have tensed and I almost chickened out. But the way she clutched at me, begged me to keep going, it spurred me further until we collapsed on the floor with a layer of stickiness between us.

We were fuck buddies; in fact she had made it abundantly clear that we were only fuck buddies. I wasn’t any more important than Hui- hyung or Hyojong-hyung. Our first night together was just an experience she could add onto her list while I was still forcing myself to come to terms with the fact that she slept with other people. I had given in to her persuasion of threesomes, especially when we had all found out that we had been fucking her, but lately a nagging voice in the back of my mind had been stirring up feelings of jealousy and minute possessiveness. I didn’t want to start thinking about the pathetic, romantic, and scary things that I had never experienced before. I repressed it more each time they threatened to rip through the surface. I was trying to convince myself that I wasn’t slowly falling in love with her and that as soon as I ran away to Korea everything would be fixed.

I, myself, didn’t want to say goodbye to her even though that was the right thing to do. It would possibly give me some closure instead of giving into my cowardice and also given the uncertainty of our future together. I was still working to see if I could continue studying abroad and if i succeeded there was no guarantee that I would have classes again with her, even though we were both dance majors. I was still afraid though, always afraid of everything with her. I tiptoed around that fine line of love and friendship too often to my liking. Just one look into her eyes now would send me to my knees in a fit of desperation and longing. I shook my head to try and clear the quarreling thoughts from my mind and instead go back to making sure I hadn’t forgotten anything. I stretched my arms above my head and yawned before peeling off the miniature calendar I had above my desk. I threw the angry reminder of deadlines and stress into another trash bag, ready to toss it into the hallway next.

I was rechecking my desk drawers to see if I had emptied them out for sure when there was a rushed pounding at the front door. I was confused as to who the hell it would be. It was almost midnight and I would have to leave for my red eye flight around 4:30. I didn’t have time to deal with anyone. I grumbled and stalked over to the door, swinging it open and ready to yell at whoever was going to make me late.

My mouth snapped shut as soon as I saw her. Her cheeks were streaked with tears. Her chest was heaving as she tried to regain her breath and she looked at me as if i was a beacon of hope in her world. She held me tight, burying her face in my chest and clutching at my shirt. I barely had time to formulate a response. My body reacted instinctively, wrapping my arms around her. I knew that I didn’t want to let her go. I could infer that perhaps she was crying over the hyungs leaving. Maybe they had talked with her and she still wasn’t okay with it or maybe it was something entirely different. I swallowed down my sigh, irritated that my plan to avoid her had gone awry. I had to face my demons now which was a battle I hadn’t prepared for.

“Th-they left.” She said through soft hiccups. “They didn’t even say goodbye. Why would they do that? I thought-” Her breath caught in her throat as she tried to steady her voice. “I thought we were friends. They should’ve at least told me when they were leaving!”

So they hadn’t told her at all.

She wiped the tears from her eyes with her sweater sleeve and continued. “I just...we spent all this time together. I thought it was the least that they could do.” She looked up at me finally and I knew what she was going to ask before it even left her lips. My hold spread to her shoulders, clutching tightly to brace myself for my impending lie. “Were you even going to tell me when you left?”

“Of course,” It came out much smoother than I had anticipated. “But there was just so much going on with finals and packing up that I almost didn’t have time. I leave in a few hours. My flight’s at 6 but I have to leave around 4:30 or so.”

“Oh great. Just great.” She fiddled with a stray thread on her sleeve, averting her gaze. “Nevermind then. I’ll leave you to your packing.”

I pushed my hair back and exhaled. “It’s not like that ok? Sometimes saying goodbye is harder than we think. Sometimes it just feels easier to not do it at all. We care about you...maybe a little too much.” I mumbled at the end.

“It certainly doesn’t feel that way.”

“Well, it’s the truth. I’m sorry that they didn’t let you know, hell I didn’t even know when they were leaving until they walked out the door.” I wanted to invite her inside. It felt just wrong to leave her out here to wallow and stay caught up in emotions that were obviously paining her. I nodded towards the inside of the dorm, bringing her in and shutting the door softly behind us.

“Kino...i really am gonna miss you. I’m gonna miss all of you. Well I already do but you know what I mean.”

“You mean you’re gonna miss our dicks.” I nudged her, trying to lighten the mood just a bit. She cracked a little smile finally and hit my stomach playfully.

“Not just that, jerk! We had a lot of good times together. I mean I’m even missing Wooseok and Shinwon, Yuto, Yanan, Yeo Onnie, Jinho-everyone! I know i’m heading back home soon too but home doesn’t feel like home without my friends. Sorry,” she sniffed. “I’m being lame.”

I shook my head. “No, you’re not. You’re seriously not. I…” My heart felt heavy again. “I’m gonna miss you too.” That confession, that tiny little confession, was when i felt myself cross that threshold. She was no longer just my friend. She was someone I wanted, someone I thought about, someone I sang about, someone I danced with, someone I felt in the very core of my soul. She was the person I was in love with.

Her smile ignited happiness inside me like a phoenix flame that rose from the ashes of weeks of lying to myself. She wrapped her arms around me again and I kept her closer this time. I settled my arms at her lower back practically crushing her to me. And when we separated just a bit, our eyes locked. Our soft chuckles of uncertainty filled the space between us until our lips closed the distance, meeting in a rush so intense I almost felt lightheaded. Her hands trailed to my shoulders, my hair, my face, seeming like she wanted to engrave the way i felt into her skin. Step by step we moved back towards my room. I had to catch her when she tripped over my suitcase and she laughed. It was like music to my ears that could inspire me to write a book of lyrics. I kicked the suitcase out of the way and we continued our journey to my bed. Our clothes eventually got tossed aside in between kisses and sweet caresses. My body always reacted to her touch at a moments notice. Every moan she made when i laid nibbles to her neck and shoulders and the way her breath stayed in her lungs as my fingers dove between her thighs had my blood boiling.

I loved the way she felt. Her slick lips always made me hungry and though I hated going down on anyone I would do it for her. She coated my tastebuds with each trail i made with my tongue. My finger dug into her plush thighs, feeling the muscles ripple when I hit a particularly sensitive spot. When i sucked her into my mouth she created a sweet symphony that made me dig my hips into the mattress just to try and relieve some of the pressure. Her hands were back to my hair again, clawing into my scalp and wrenching locks around her fingers. That pressure sent a shiver down my spine and i dove deeper, trying to dig out the orgasm that she deserved.

She said my name as if it was her new favorite curse word, over and over again until she could barely breathe. I pulled away from her then, licking my lips and wiping her trace from my chin and nose. I kissed up her stomach, towards her breasts and neck until our lips met again and i could share her between us. “Please Kino…” She set her forehead against mine, holding me between her palms. “Please don’t leave me…”

My heart shattered. She knew that i had to. I knew that i had to. I couldn’t stay here in the summer. I had nowhere to live, no money to support myself, and permission that only lasted nine months. The truth was more painful than the goodbye at this point and the only thing that could bring us comfort was more lies. I swallowed hard and finally looked at her. Just as i sank into her depths and pulled her close I told her what I wished was the god awful truth. “I’ll never leave you.”

Moonlight-Hongseok

“That was literally the best Marvel movie! Hands down!” She said as we exited the theater.

“No way? The best? Are you sure it’s better than Hulk and your pretty boy Thor?” I laughed. We had just finished seeing Venom in our town’s local theater, weeks after it’s initial release and taking full advantage of student discount day. With the end of the semester creeping closer and piecing together everything that happened between us at Halloween, it was really nice to do something together as friends. I had to admit that I still thought about that night. I tortured myself with wondering if she thought about it too. I couldn’t believe the way I had acted then. It wasn’t like me at all and I felt ashamed more than anything. If I hadn’t drank that night I wouldn’t even have had a ounce of the courage I did to ask her to help me lose my virginity. In fact, I would’ve been a bumbling mess and messed everything up. A small part of me had worried that we would never be the same after that, that our relationship was over and could never be repaired. But when she asked me to go with her to this movie it was like a light washed over my heart and I could breathe a little easier.

I had no idea what to really call our “relationship” to be quite honest. I stuck with the term ‘friends’ but i had come to realize all too quickly that I wanted that term to morph into something better. I felt like a preteen with a crush. Every time she was near me my heart would race, my palms would get sweaty, and i overthought everything so bad that I ended up stuttering more than i meant to. I wasn’t sure if she even noticed but I did and it only made me more anxious. Even tonight, my face felt red hot with embarrassment. During the movie, she got closer to me and i wished the armrest between our chairs hadn’t existed. Then, as cliche as it sounded, our hands touched when we both dug into the popcorn bucket at the same time. She made a joke out of it, hitting the back of my hand playfully and shooing me away from her hoard. It made me smile more than anything, my whole body tingling with giddiness. God, she was so beautiful and I felt like I still wasn’t even on her radar.

We walked to her car, occasionally bumping into each other. “Yes, i like it even better than Thor, okay? Though Ragnarok was extremely good too. Venom was my favorite in Spiderman 3 even though no one likes to talk about that movie. I think he more than made up for Tobey Mcguire’s awkward dancing and emo hair.”

I laughed and shoved my hands into the pockets of my coat. “Well, you may be onto something even if I don’t agree entirely.”

“Yeah, yeah. Ironman, blah blah blah.”

“Hey!” I nudged her with my shoulder, making her stumble. “Don’t talk about him like that!”

She giggled and ran ahead of me. “Ironman couldn’t even save Spidey from the Infinity Stones.”

I gasped loudly. “You take that back! That was a very emotional time for me and you know it!”

She unlocked her car and opened the door, sliding in while I was still prepared to make an argument. I shuffled quickly to catch up and get in beside her. “You know, it’s still pretty early.”

“Yeah it is. I can start my presentation about how what you just said was completely wrong and uncalled for!” I crossed my arms over my chest and pouted.

“Seokkie, you know I’m just joking.” The nickname, no matter how simple, made my stomach explode into a kaleidoscope of butterflies. I pretended to pout some more which made her laugh and tug at my coat, desperate to get on my good side again. She began poking my sides, making me squirm and swat at her annoying antics. I loved the way we could joke around. It felt like I was at home, a place of safety and protectiveness that barricaded me from the worse feelings I had. I could be myself around her, wholeheartedly. I didn’t have to keep up the facade my parents wanted me to create. I didn’t even have to think about grading papers and essays or trying to deal with my professor breathing down my neck. When i was with her I was just a normal 20-something year old college student enjoying life and taking it easy. It was the best feeling in the world to forget about the worries that constantly bombarded my mind. The freedom to talk about what made me happy with the person that made me happy was something that I held onto so dearly.

In between me struggling to keep her prodding at bay she turned to tickling me, a torture I hated more than anything. I grabbed her hands and squeezed them tight, turning towards her and accidentally knocking our heads together. We reeled back, rubbing the sore spots on our foreheads as the result of my stupidity. “Crap, sorry!” I said.

She winced and rubbed at the pain faster. “Way to give me a concussion with that hard ass head of yours!”

“Well, if you hadn’t been tickling me we wouldn’t have this problem, huh?!” I looked up at her, noticing how we were now face to face with the center console barely putting a barrier between us. Her eyes held my gaze for a moment before jumping up to my forehead. Suddenly, she leaned in close, pressing her lips to the tender area. It only lasted micro seconds but I clung to the way her perfume wafted into my senses and the gentleness she exhibited. I opened my mouth trying to fathom any response but nothing came out. I was stunned, retreating to my feelings of a preteen boy in love.

In love...A tiny word that held so much weight to it. Could i really be in love with someone I just met not even two months ago? I had no idea what love was like but I knew what I felt was something entirely different than anything I had ever experienced. Surely, if people could believe that there was love at first sight then there was no harm in feeling the most vulnerable of connections with someone after two months. My heart thundered in my chest every time that word came up and I could feel my entire body quaking with fear of the unknown. What’s to say would happen in this car with her by my side? What did i even want to happen in this very moment? Did i want her to profess her love to me or did I want to face the possible reality of her tossing my heart into a forgotten oblivion? “What are you thinking about?” The question came out as a breath against my lips and she seemed to have gotten closer to me. Her elbow rested on the console while her fingers eased over mine.

I wanted to scream that I was thinking about her, always thinking about her, in the best ways, the worst ways, the most lustful and sinful of ways. I cleared my throat as if to remind myself to put the latter thought in a trapped box where it belonged. Instead, i came up with a generic answer that still didn’t seem to satisfy her. “Just the movie…”

“Liar.” She caught on instantly. “Something’s on your mind. Do you want to talk about it?”

“Uh…” I had no idea how to respond without possibly hinting at my true feelings.

“We could go back to the plateau. Remember?”

“Yeah, i remember getting drunk off my ass and making a fool out of myself.”

“Well, there’s no alcohol this time so no harm, no foul right?” She set her keys in the ignition, bringing the car to life. “C’mon, if you still don’t want to talk we don’t have to but i just…” Her voice seemed to grow a bit quieter. “I don’t want this night to end just yet.”

I swallowed hard and nodded, my mind taking off into a deep swirling galaxy of thoughts. Even though I had gotten drunk that night, i gained all the courage in the world to kiss her. Alcohol seemed to be my vibranium- this sword and shield that provided me with everything I need to lead me into conquest. Yet it was also my kryptonite because I felt like without it I was weak and susceptible to making whatever it was between me and her worse. The car ride had settled into a quietness with only the soft sounds of the radio in the background. I looked out the window, watching the sidewalks of our college town filled with people bar hopping as we drove through downtown. The further away we got from the hustle and bustle the better it felt to be with her. It was like we were in our own little world when we got to the top of the plateau. The lights of the city were brighter than the last time we were here but we could still see some of the stars in the night sky. She set the car in park and cut the engine before stepping out. “C’mon, lay on the hood with me!”

I smiled and followed her lead, settling myself on the hood. I set my back against the windshield, putting my hands behind my head. She sat beside me, not letting any space between us. “It’s chilly out. This was probably a bad idea.” She chuckled.

“Yeahhh, probably. The wind is definitely brisk.” I shivered a little and felt her scuttle closer until her head rested on my chest. I stiffened completely beneath her, afraid that she could hear the way my heart was banging against my ribcage. Her arm wrapped around my waist and she left out a soft content sigh. While this seemed to be perfectly normal for her I was aching with thoughts of what it all meant. I drifted my eyes down to her watching the way she was enamored by the stars. The question I longed to ask burned on my tongue and i dared myself to ask it. “Hey...um...I wanted to ask you something…”

She turned her heads towards me and all I could do was stare at her lips. It was like she was hell bent on sucking the ability to talk out of me. “Hmm?”

“C-can I kiss you?” WHAT?! Hongseok, what in the actual hell? You were supposed to ask her about the Halloween party and what it all meant for you as friends, NOT to ask her to kiss you. I winced and closed my eyes wishing that I could disappear from this entire plane of existence. Her expression had switched as soon as the words left my mouth and now she she seemed like she was at a lost for words too. I tried my best to deflect the question. “I mean uh...that’s not what I wanted to ask. What I wanted to say was-”

I felt her sweet caress of her lips then, unexpected and powerful enough to shatter my frazzled thoughts. Her lips were utterly amazing. They brought up residual memories of how they felt the first time we kissed. I cherished every moment they shared with mine even if it only lasted a few seconds. She pulled away all too quickly, her eyes wide with fear. “I-I...i’m sorry.” She whispered.

I sat up quickly, fumbling over my own apology. “Nonono! I-I swear I didn’t mean to ask that! It just- my brain just slipped and-”

“It was on your mind though…”

I swallowed at that nugget of truth. “Y-yes. I’m so sorry.”

She set her hand on mine, giving it a gentle squeeze. Her voice was so soft that I could barely hear it. “It’s ok. I was thinking about it too.”

Want It With You-E’dawn

Trust. You would think it was such a simple word but it bared more meaning for me than anything else in life. I didn't trust just anyone though I seemed to be surrounded by people I loved and adored. It took years to get to that point with them. There were hoops and barrels that they had to jump through to prove themselves worthy. It wasn't some grand scheme of knighthood- rather simple things that showed they would always be there for me.

Which was why I was so stuck and dumbfounded by my feelings for her. We hadn't known each other for long. Definitely not long enough for me to trust her but i did with every fiber of my being. I didn't know if it had been from the first night we met or right here at this very moment but at some point my heart caved in. Her smile chipped at the bricks of my wall of trust, her body tore chunks out of the barrier, and our connection musically made the wall give way. Behind that trust was love, an even more guarded feeling that rarely anyone got to experience. But the buds of soft touches, gentle kisses, and late night talks bloomed into the purest emotion I ever had.

The problem was that there was already two other people that had my heart. My girlfriend, Hyuna, who remained a secret to everyone I knew, and my best friend Hui who I felt like i could possibly never confess to. I didn't know how to exactly explain it but each of them provided me with something i needed and wanted. Hyuna gave me the care I never experienced from anyone- the tender love, affection, and understanding of my weirdness that she could keep up with. Hui on the other hand gave me a new type of love. Something that was exciting and refreshing yet filled with curiosity and the thrill of danger. And she, she gave me freedom. Freedom to explore, to live, to experience things i had never done before and open my eyes to wonders unseen.

My brain and heart were at war with one another. My brain told myself that it was impossible to be with three people no matter how desperately i wanted it to work. My heart, of course, screamed that I could do anything. No one could judge us or tell us otherwise. I wished that were true, i really did. There were nights when I couldn't sleep that i lay awake and thought about what my life had turned into. Being in the states changed my perception on love and relationships in general but going back home none of those things would be accepted. I didn't want to hide forever- i already had to do that with Hyuna. Her career was on the line and I would never compromise that for her. With out her here though it was becoming increasingly difficult to stay monogamous, which is how that night after the party happened.

I told Hyuna right away that i slept with someone else. I was a crying mess. I thought she'd never forgive me and i would truly be alone. I confessed how much i missed her and that i just wanted to feel something- a touch, a kiss, anything. It was hard. One of the very hardest things I'd ever had to do and when she forgave me and told me it was alright I knew i had chosen the right one. We laughed about it after and she told me never to worry. She knew my heart was with her because she could feel it even with all the miles that separated us. She let me sleep with whoever I wanted as long as I came back to her, which i would always do.

But when i met my new object of affection at the top of spring semester it was like my world got flipped upside down. How could I tell Hyuna that I was in love with someone else, let alone confess to the person that I had been with almost the entire time this semester? Love and trust weren't the only things weighing on my mind. Part of that trust was asking for further exploration of my sexuality. I was all wrapped up in my feelings and this just added another layer.

Lately, i had been curious about kinky things. It wasn't just the beginner things either. It was the darker things, the dirtier things, the things that made your skin crawl with lust filled excitement. I wanted to share that with her but bringing it up had my heart racing.

I laid next to her, my feet towards the end of the bed while hers were towards the headboard. Our heads met in the middle and we stared at the ceiling relaxing in our sexual afterglow. I puffed silently at my e-cig, closing my eyes and pondered over how to even begin to ask what was weighing on my mind. She yawned beside me and i nudged my temple gently against hers.

“You whimping out on me already?” I teased.

“Um, excuse me. You wore me out! You try being on your hands and knees for an hour then practically bent in half. It takes a lot out of you.”

I chuckled. “Yeah well, it was good wasn’t it?”

She nodded and softly hummed a response, turning her head into my neck. We stood quiet for a moment while i continued to mull over how I should ask her. From what she told me about her experiences with Kino and Hui-hyung there was nothing that even came close to what I currently wanted. We were both inexperienced but I was sure that we could learn and be patient with one another. She could reject the idea all together, which would sting a bit but I would accept it. I couldn’t force her to do anything she didn’t want to. I hoped she would at least try and not run away completely.

“Hey,” I began, clearing my throat a little. She turned towards me with such an adorable sleepy look. It made me smile as I pushed her sweaty hair away from her forehead. “I want to ask you something but...don’t freak out okay?”

Her eyes went wide and fear washed over her face. She swallowed hard. “O-oh...what is it?”

“So...ok. Um…” I took a deep breath. “I don’t know if this is going to sound stupid but have you ever heard of...bdsm? Like the kinky stuff?”

“Oh?” She raised her eyebrows now faced with curiosity. “You mean like getting tied up?”

“Yeah. I mean, there’s more to it but that’s like a good place to start.”

“Why are you bringing it up all of a sudden?”

“I’ve been thinking about it for awhile.” I sighed, returning my gaze back to the ceiling as I felt warmth creep into my cheeks and ears. “Kinda researching a bit. Since we’re- I mean we’re not together, together- but we hook up a lot and stuff. And we’re friends so I thought maybe I could ask and…” I was stumbling over my words, regressing into a bumbling idiot. I wish i could convey what was on my mind as clearly as I wanted to. I took a deep breath, trying to recollect myself and start over. “Basically, I trust you. I trust you a lot and I wouldn’t ask anyone else to do this with me. It was important that I tried it with you. When we...fuck it’s on a whole other level. I feel kind of like...at peace. Like I don’t have to worry about anything or feed into my insecurities.”

“O-oh…” she said quietly. I wasn't sure what to make of that and it made my entire body tense. “I trust you too Hyojong. You've never done anything to betray my trust. But this is so sudden.”

“I know, i'm sorry. I just didn't know how else to bring it up or what would be a good time to even bring it up. Like how do you start a conversation about wanting to try bdsm? Like hey, babe, wanna tie me up and choke me?”

She laughed, part nervous and part humorous. “I guess you're right. It's not something to schedule a talk around. But why do you feel insecure?” She sat up a bit, just scooting close enough to lay her head on my stomach and set her hand over my heart. I laid my fingers over hers and moved my other hand to rest behind my head.

“I...i don’t know. I mean who ever really knows why they’re insecure they just know they have insecurities.”

“You know what I mean but what things are you specifically insecure about?”

“A lot of things. The way I look, the way I have sex, the way I talk. It all makes me nervous but you’ve never really judged me…”

“Of course not! I would never. There’s no reason for me too.” She said as she turned her hand over to give mine a squeeze. “You’ve been there for me since day one and I like everything about you. You’re so weird, cute, funny, and caring. Your random screeches and crazy running makes me laugh all the time. I just feel...” She shrugged and smiled at me. I wondered if she could tell how fast my heart was beating now. When I was the source of her smile it made my entire body turn to jello. It made me feel like a goopey mess of feelings that i loved. Love was one of my favorite things in the world. The rush of being with someone so perfect for you and holding them in your arms as much as you could was the source of my happiness. Being so far away from my girlfriend always put me in a funk. But having this new found love in the states filled that void and blossomed into something I looked forward to every time we met. The more time we spent together, the more I wanted to be with her. My heart was getting restless but asking her out was something that made me panic even more than asking her to tie me up. “I feel good when i'm around you. You're a great friend.”

Friend. I screamed internally. Yes, just friends. It stung, that was easy to admit but as of right now I couldn't do anything to change that. I squeezed her hand again and swallowed the lump in my throat trying my best not to crumble into a puddle of pathetic tears. I sought to turn the subject back to where it started. “So, would you want to try it out with me? The kink stuff I mean…”

“Wellllll…..it doesn't seem so bad. It could be a lot of fun. I'm a little scared though. What if we're totally bad at it?”

“We can practice. Isn't that part of the fun?” I gave her a little wink to add to my flirtatious tone.

“You want to wear me out, don't you, Dawnie.” She giggled. “I guess we can start practicing. But i guess we might need some equipment first.” She sat up then, crossing her legs and letting her fingers drum against her chin. “I'm sure there are tons of websites to buy some.”

“My cart on some is already filled.” I admitted.

“Oh my god, you sneaky little slut. I shouldn't have expected any less from you.” She kissed me quickly. “Start ordering then. Then i can tie you up like a little present.”

“Tie me up? Aren't I supposed to tie you up?!” I asked.

“Who says? Just because you're the boy? Why don't we both try it. Maybe we'll both like it.”

She did have a point. We didn't have to conform to any standards. That wasn't really my gig anyway. Besides, thinking about her being in control gave me a little tingle of excitement. We were truly doing this and I couldn't be more happy. Even though she thought of me as a friend I hoped eventually she could see how much I wanted her, how much love I could give her. All i could do now was be patient but have a hell of a good time along the way.

All To You- Hui

“Ok, so what do you want to do for our project?” I asked her as we sat in our private piano room that was basically our sanctuary. After almost every class together we would come here, enjoying the peace and tranquility. The hecticness of our schedules were forgotten and we spent hours getting lost in the music. Time didn't exist when I was with her. My only focus was on her which was a-okay with my heart. We had a project due in a couple of weeks that needed to showcase both our talents. I wanted to do something on the piano, more so a ballad which was my speed and wasn’t too sure how to incorporate her rapping skills. Rapping could go with a ballad but the rhythm and flow would have to be just right. I was nervous as this was the first time we would ever be making music together. The way music was instilled in me sometimes made me overanalyze and become a perfectionist. I didn’t want to really take control of this...but also I did. I just had to figure out how to do it in the nicest way possible. I was picturing every scenario possible, even wondering what she would say in response even before she uttered a word in real time.

“Well, I know rapping isn’t your thing and I’m not the best at music production since I’m still learning so i hope that maybe you could take responsibility over that? Like how we could mix the song? Maybe incorporate the piano since it’s kind of our thing?” She smiled.

I almost sighed in relief. I was so happy we were on the same page. “Yes!” I said, almost too excitedly. “Sorry, I really wanted to make something like this with you.” I started pressing a few chords onto the keys, humming along to the melody in my head. “Do you have any idea what song you might want to do?”

“I was trying to think of some good duets we could do. I really wanted something modern and kind of soft.”

“There aren’t many duets with singing and rapping that I can think of.”

“Actually,” she said with a bit of a nervous tone in her voice. “Teach has been getting on me about actually singing in class since ya know, since it is about vocals. I know she said she doesn't grade on talent but she wants me to at least try and sing... in front of everyone.”

“Sing?” I tried to hide the shock in my voice and failed miserably. “I’ve heard you before and you know how I feel about your voice but I also know that it’s hard for you to do this.” She nodded and stared down at her lap, looking so ashamed. I set my arm around her shoulder and pulled her close so my temples touched hers. “You know I’ll be there beside you every step of the way, right?”

“I know…” Her voice was breaking. “I’m just so nervous that I’m gonna make a fool of myself. I feel like everyone’s gonna judge me. I don’t get stage fright when I rap but when I sing it’s like my throat just closes up and my heart shrivels into a dried husk and like...i just can’t breathe. My anxiety takes over and-and-” A small tear trailed down her cheek and i squeezed her to my chest. I couldn’t bare to see her like this. There wasn’t a way to magically cure her anxiety or relieve her from her stage fright though I desperately wished I could. I curled my fingers around hers holding onto her hand tightly.

“You’re putting too much pressure on yourself. I don’t want you to end up like me. All I do is drive myself crazy with being a perfectionist. We’re going to work through this together. I promise I won’t let you fail.”

“I know, Hui. I know. I just have to believe in myself but that’s easier said than done. It’s always something I battled with. I’m glad you’ll be there with me.”

I smiled and tilted her head up gently. “Of course, angel.” I pressed my lips to hers, taking in their warmth and tenderness that always made my body react instantly. I poured every ounce of passion into our tongues colliding and bringing her small unsteady breaths to the surface. My hand fell to her waist, clutching it tightly and never wanting to let her go. I needed her to know how much this meant to me, how much she meant to me. She deserved it so much. Her hands anchored themselves in my hair and kept me as close as possible. Eventually, my chest tightened and my lungs ached for a break. It was almost funny how lost we could get in each other like this. I pulled away, chuckling as i finally took in a breath. “Sorry, i got carried away.”

“I like when you get carried away.” She smiled, flirtatiously. “Isn't that how we ended up fucking on the piano during our first lesson?”

“Ah,” I remembered that day all too well. The first moment her lips hit mine after I heard her sing. Nothing could ever compare to how my heart fluttered and my stomach tied in knots just hearing her sweet tone. Since that day I had silently begged that I would hear her voice again, instead of her keeping it trapped. “It was definitely better than learning chord progressions and tonality practice that's for sure.”

She giggled and dabbed away at the few remaining tears at the corner of her eyes. “You always know how to make me smile, Hwitaek.”

My name was always my favorite melody to hear on her tongue. The airiness to her voice made it sound so dreamlike and ethereal. I could feel my cheeks heating up just at those few syllables. “I'm glad I can but uh...you should stop distracting me so we can get to work!” I poked her side playfully and she swatted at my hand.

“Ok, ok! I'm sorry! Let me see what I have on my spotify playlist and maybe we can get some inspiration for our duet, yeah?”

I nodded at her suggestion and let her go to work while i fumbled on the piano, working through key changes and scales in hopes of jogging my brain. I had no idea why it seemed so difficult. It should have been a piece of cake figuring something for us to do, especially because even if it was just a school project it would be personal. Maybe that's why I was getting stuck in a rut. Too much pressure on myself to possibly slip a blinded confession to her through lyrics. There didn't seem to be any other way to tell her. I wasn't even sure if I should. There hadn't been any confirmation in the slightest that she felt anything towards me. After all, I had Hyojong and Hyunggu at my back, constantly tipping the scales in their favor. They were my very best friends and I should never be jealous of them but I was. Even after the fun we had with the foursome I realized that there was still an empty part of me that wasn't getting filled. It hurt to think that perhaps it would never be filled.

Continuing to hook up with her might be the biggest mistake of my life so far. I could sense that things might get worse. I wasn't exactly known to love subtly. I was a big hopeless romantic, comically extravagant, and a walking cliche of greeting card cheesiness. I couldn't help it. It went with my goofy personality and inability to like being so serious all the time. It was my little break away from throwing my entire soul into my music. I sighed and set my elbow on the edge of the piano, resting my chin in the palm of my hand while my fingers danced over the same three keys. Little slices of my favorite lyrics pieced together in my head as I imagined the picket white fence dreams I could have with her. I could stay here in America and live an entirely new life with her, an extra dose of happiness in my fantasy. I closed my eyes then, drifting off into that better place that was protected from thoughts of self doubt, hurt, and feelings of worthlessness and not being good enough for her. I rarely tried to give into those thoughts but there was always a devilish voice on my back whispering filthy lies about how I could never capture her attention and love like the other's could. I squeezed my eyes tighter as the voice started to ring a little louder and I was just beginning to get into a war with myself.

“I think I got it!”

I snapped back so suddenly that my body jolted upright. “Huh? What?”

“The song, i think i found the perfect song for us. I think I can manage hitting all the notes in this without messing it up too much and the male part is right up your alley.”

I raised a brow at her, curious at her selection. “Ok, lay it on me.”

“Do you like Lana Del Rey?”

My cheeks heated up with embarrassment. I did, but mostly when I was drunk off my ass and known to cry on the floor, belting out all her greatest hits. I laughed nervously at my shameful alcohol induced memories. “Y-yeah, she's great. I like her.”

“Want to do ‘Lust for Life’? You have a good voice for it.”

“Ah….actually that doesn't seem so bad. It wouldn't be so hard to work into a piano piece either. I think we could do it.” I smiled brightly at her, grateful to her ability to think more clearly than I could. She clapped her hands excitedly before looking over the lyrics on her voice. I edged myself closer so we could both look at the small screen. She was humming at first, mumbling a few words here and there until the notes rang in during the first verse. I set my hand on the small of her back, working my thumb in small swipes, to give her a comforting touch and encourage her more. She laughed a bit as she got to the pre-chorus, her eyes trailing up to meet mine.

“And I was like, take off, take off...take off all your clothes, take off, take off...take off all of your clothes…” she sang. She moved her fingers to pluck at the top button of my shirt, opening it.

I set my hand over the sliver of newly exposed skin and gasped. “So scandalous, Lana!”

She giggled. “Oh, and you don't want to fuck under the Hollywood sign while I wait for my sugar daddy to call me?”

“We'll I don't think we can fuck under the Hollywood sign but does under a piano work for you?”

“Oh yes, a whole two feet of space! You'd knock your head on it so fast!”

“Hey, i tried, ok? Besides, i can find a way to position you.”

“Lee Hwitaek! You perv!”

“You started it but I can definitely finish it.” I tackled her gently to the floor, making her cry out and laugh with me. We were always goofing off like a pair of idiots which were my absolute favorite times. I pulled her against me tight and kissed all over her neck and cheek. “You drive me crazy you know that?”

She pawed at my face. “Ah! Hey! Yeah, you definitely drive me crazy too.” She turned her head to catch one of my kisses on her lips. “It's a good kind of crazy though. She gave me another quick kiss then looked down at my watch. “Shit, i have to get going for dance practice with Kino. He's gonna kill me if I'm late.”

My happiness was cut a bit short and I held onto her tighter. “Just stay with me instead.” I whispered.

“Aww, Hui. You know I'd love to but we have a dance project and-”

“We have a project that we need to work on too. He can deal with it.”

“Noooo, i can't! I'll never hear the end of it. You know how Kino is.” She pushed me away and sat up. “We can meet up again this weekend or something. I think I’ll have some time on Saturday.” She stood up and gathered her things. “I promise I’ll give you all the time in the world ok?! See ya!”

I watched her leave our practice room, destroying the bubble of our safe haven to go hang out with my friend. I sighed as another pang of jealousy hit directly to the heart. I pulled my knees up and set my arms on them, wondering what to even make of myself. Just tell her Hui, I thought. Just tell her that you love her.

I’m a Ruin

I held my pillow close to my chest as tears flowed hot and heavy down my face. Everything that had happened with Hongseok replayed in my head as guilt riddled my stomach. I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t rope him into any of this and I did just that. On top of it I revealed that I had slept with all of his friends and while there was a small sliver of me that was glad that it was all out in the open, every other part of me was screaming that it was all a mistake. I never wanted him to find out, if anything he could have been my escape from it all. Hongseok was a clean slate, after all. There wasn’t any drama attached to him and we had so much fun whenever we hung out. But he also didn’t have the history that I had with Kino, Hui, or Hyo.

Those three were a whole other battle in of itself. Kino and I’s relationship was basically shattered and nonexistent. I knew Hui was ready to take the next step but with everyone else on my mind I had no idea if I would be able to give him my all without hurting him in the process. Hyojong was one of my closest friends. We knew so much about one another and though I wasn’t really too sure about opening my heart to multiple people (which let’s face it, at this damn point I might as well to save myself a headache), but Hyuna was so welcoming. Together they were like the perfect ray of warmth and sunshine that it almost felt as if I had nowhere to fit in. My head was swimming so much with thought after thought that i almost felt dizzy. I needed to somehow get some sleep and maybe try and set them aside for at least one night. They were just consuming me to the point where it was suffocating. I just wanted to be happy again. I wanted to survive college and graduate and be a star where I could share my talents with the world and live free. I know I had dug this hole for myself but running away seemed like the best thing to do right now.

I was ready to recline into my bed and give up entirely when I heard harsh raps on my door. I jumped up quickly wondering who the hell that could be. It was already late and my roommate wasn’t home. I sighed and thought that maybe she may have forgotten her keycard. It was unlikely but stranger things have happened. I wiped my face as much as I could, trying to gather myself before I opened the door. I sniffed deeply and pulled the door open, wincing as the bright light of the hallway poured into my dark room. My heart fell into my stomach as I saw the disheveled, pajama’d and panting messes that were before me.

“W-what...what’s going on?” I stammered while i was internally begging for this to not happen at this moment.

“We need to talk.” Kino stated flatly, he was the first to push past me and go into my room. Hyojong flicked on the light in my room and squeezed past me as well. I sighed, absolutely defeated and let the others in before making my way over to sit on my bed once more. They circled me then, like lovesick vultures corning me into a decision I was no where near ready to make. I knew what they were going to say before any words were even uttered.

“We just...we we’re talking...” Hui started.

“I needed to know about everything that happened. It was even worse then the minimal lies you told me.” Hongseok spat.

“Don’t you even dare, Hongseok. I never lied to you. I didn’t want you to know about everything because you had no business knowing about it all.” I interjected.

“I had no business knowing about what you were doing with my friends?”

“No, you didn’t. You know why? Because what I do with anyone is no ones business, even if you are friends. I gave myself to each and every one of you and I’ve said it over and over, my intent was never to break up your brotherhood or turn you on one another. I fucked up and I know that. But if I wanted to fuck Kino i did. If i wanted to fuck Hui i did. If I wanted to fuck Hyojong I did. Hell, if I wanted to fuck them all at once I did that too! I’m not going to be guilted into having urges just like you all. I love you guys, most importantly as friends. Every last one of you. It’s who I’m in love with that hurts the most.”

“Who are you in love with then?” Hyojong asked.

“Everyone.”

“You can’t be in love with everyone. That isn’t possible nor is it fair!” Kino snapped.

“It is possible. It’s always possible to love more than one person but...how we’re all thinking-even me- is that we want her to ourselves. We don’t want to share. We want to have that one on one connection.” Hyojong continued. “It just seems further and further from reality than we expected.”

“You need to chose someone. Please, love, just for the sake of my sanity.” Hui pleaded.

“Your sanity? What about my sanity?! Don’t you think I’ve been driving myself fucking insane thinking about who I would want to be with? I’ve been trying to piece together what I even want for weeks, months, semesters! I don’t know how to even begin to choose!”

“Well you better fuckin’ decide. We’re tired of being dragged along by you.” Kino said.

I whipped around to face him. “Don’t you dare fuckin’ talk to me. Why would I even pick you!? You hurt my feelings. You betrayed my trust! You slept with my best friend and just when I thought that we were on the mends you threw me out in the cold again.”

“I love you! More than anything! I’ve always loved you! I’ve just been...I’ve been too fucking afraid to admit, ok?”

“Yeah?” I swallowed hard, trying to shove my tears down my throat instead of having them burst forth once again. I was so tired of crying. “Well, it’s a little bit too late for that isn’t it Kino?”

“Look, I can’t speak for anyone’s actions but my own but...we do...we want some kind of closure. I know this is hard given your relationships with us- even with Kino. Someone is bound to get hurt by this, even I’ve prepared myself for that, but anything is better than no answer at all.” Hui set his hand on my shoulder and smiled at me gently. His face held nothing but sorrow and his brown eyes were dripping in sadness. If my heart wasn’t already shattered it definitely was now. Completely minuscule pieces that didn’t even resemble a heart anymore.

I pulled away from him as I could feel my body trembling. Their eyes were on me once more and fear made my blood run cold. They weren’t going to stop until they got a response. I looked at Kino, seeing the regret on his face and want to repair the broken relationship between us- something I never thought I would’ve ever witnessed. A simple apology weeks ago would’ve solved all this between us and yet I never felt more distant from him than at this very moment, even though there was a thin thread tethering me to him still. Hyojong stayed ever the patient one though he had underlying panic in his stiff frame. He couldn’t fully look at me but I could tell his mind was racing a mile a minute. I wish I could let him know fully that he still had a hold on me, Hyuna aside, I wanted him and his unconditional love. Hui was the one with the most hurt on his face, as if was about to cry just as much as I was. I didn’t want to hurt him. I couldn’t bear it. He meant so much to me-the absolute world to me. Then there was Hongseok, who’s eyes, even if he was mad at me at this very moment, reflected every happy moment I had with him. The way I felt in his arms never ceased to amaze me. His warmth, his gentle kiss, and sweet demeanor was everything I had ever wanted in someone. I wanted to waste hours and days laughing with him, playing video games, binge watching movies, and getting lost in that perfect smile.

I was back at square one, as if I had never left and frozen in my skin.

“Well?” Kino said.

“Who do you choose?” Hongseok asked.

“Please...” Hui begged.

“I just want you to be happy.” Hyojong whispered.

I covered my face and let the tears flow. I couldn’t hold it back anymore. I was lost, stuck, and ready to move forward all at once. All I had to do was take the plunge. “I....I choose... I choose H-”

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jinmindeulle · 4 years ago

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hot chocolate | jyh (2)

part 2/3

𝒑𝒂𝒊𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 jeong yunho x reader, yang hongseok x reader

𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅 𝒄𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒕 2.4 k

𝒈𝒆𝒏𝒓𝒆 angst, fluff / enemies to lovers au, tv news au, newsanchor!yunho x newsanchor!reader

𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 mentions of sex and cursing

main masterlist | ateez masterlist

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚

To say that it was her fifth mental breakdown of the day was an understatement.

Y/n was preparing the report that her boss had asked her as the last part of her application for the job. It was just a simple story that she would later have to present on the live show right after Yunho’s. She had decided to talk about important women around the world as she felt confident in that area. She knew a lot about the topic of feminism and the importance of speaking up. That, however, didn’t spare her from feeling like a total failure when she asked Hongseok to proofread the script for her and he made a face.

“Are you sure you are not going to go off at a tangent if you talk about this topic? You know that your speech should flow, and when you are talking about something that you are passionate about or you know a lot of, you usually beat about the bush”

“What do you suggest? Changing the topic last minute?” she whined, plopping down Hongseok’s couch, right next to him.

“Narrow it down. You’re being too general here. Be more specific and don’t talk just to show off”

“Got it” y/n snatched the paper away from her friend and went back to her ‘workplace’ — Hongseok’s kitchen table.

Editing scripts was the part that she hated the most. Her usual job rarely involved that, because she was in charge of doing the research, checking and double-checking sources and outlining the report. Sometimes she wrote them just to avoid loosing that side of the job, but her department co-workers were the ones who proofread and corrected the script multiple times, not y/n.

That’s why she was staying the night at Hongseok’s. He was an expert in that field, his job as a script-writer for the Night Show helping him improve his skills more and more with every new story. What took the man a couple of hours to finish, took y/n her whole Saturday afternoon, and if it wasn’t for him, she would probably spend her entire weekend crying over her script.

“How’s that going?” Hongseok approached her from behind, placing his arms around her waist and his chin on her shoulder, rapidly scanning the words on her screen.

“Check yourself” she yawned, throwing her head backwards and accommodating it on the space between his neck and shoulder.

“Why don’t you have a warm shower? I have already called the pizza place and it won’t take long for them to arrive”

The girl sleepily nodded and left the chair as soon as her friend released her. He took her seat to keep reading her script, so she moved quickly to the bathroom. Now undressed and with the water warming up, she stretched her back, putting her hair up on a messy bun that prevented it from getting soaked. As soon as she entered the steamy shower, her mind took off.

And it landed on Jeong Yunho. Was that even necessary? She scoffed, turning around to make the hot water ease some of the back pain.

She would never admit it, but back then she had had a massive crush on him. Who would blame her, though? He was the most handsome man around campus, and he was all the time smiling. He had that special grin of his that lit up the darkest room.

But he had never showed that side of his to her. Maybe because she was his only competition in college who could actually beat his perfect records, or maybe because she was all the time with Hongseok. The truth was that Yunho had always avoided and ignored her every time she had dared to speak to him outside college hours.

So it had come as a surprise seeing him at the Seoul Morning News’ building two years before. She had been working there for a couple of months, and all of her ex-classmates knew that thanks to Hongseok, who proudly told the world about her rapid success. Why would he ever apply for a job that involved working with a person he hates? She never understood that, but at the same time didn’t even bother to question his decision.

An hour later and with a full stomach, y/n was all spread on Hongseok’s couch, her head on his thigh and his hands massaging her scalp “You’re too good to me, Hongie” she whispered, hugging his leg.

“I just love you” he replied. Out of shock, she sat up in a matter of milliseconds and looked at him with wide eyes “Don’t be silly. Not like that” he laughed, patting her head “I love you as a friend, and I love fucking you as a friend too”

“I saw my life flashing in front of my eyes for a second” she heavily breathed out, placing her hand on her chest, right on her heart.

“I’m sorry” he grinned, placing a soft kiss on her lips “I like messing around with you sometimes”

“Sometimes?” she raised one eyebrow, sitting on his lap and straddling his waist with her legs.

“Well, that depends what kind of ‘messing’ you are referring to” he smirked, rubbing his hands up and down her lower back.

“Why don’t you show me?”

“My pleasure, hun”

“I messed up” she cried, holding her phone with shaky hands “I messed up so bad, Hong”

“Why? What happened?” his concern was tangible even through the phone.

“I went blank for I don’t know how long. I completely forgot about my script and had to improvise a section of it. It was terrible. I’m a failure, and I’m not going to get the job at all. He was perfect. Yunho was amazing, as he always is. And I won’t blame Mr. Jung when he chooses him because he deserves that place more than anyone in here” y/n sobbed, sitting down on her desk, feeling how the shame and humiliation drowned her in tears.

“Y/n, I’m sure you’re just exagg-”

“I’m not, Hongseok! It was the worst thing I have ever done. I messed up and I know that. I missed the chance to get the job of my dreams. And I will never get another one of this”

When she decided that it was time to let her friend do his job in peace, she realized that she could not to go back outside of her office and face her co-workers who were expecting her to keep on her daily work without recomposing herself first. With heavy steps, she entered her little toilet and removed all of her make up. Washing it off and doing it again was the only reasonable option. Some minutes later, she found herself looking way better, but just hoping for her puffy eyes to go back to normal in a couple of hours top.

She left her office with her heard high but avoiding eye contact. It was hard to admit, but she knew that all of them had seen her embarrass herself in front of their boss. How was she supposed to come back from that? Her reputation was a joke right now.

“Miss Lee, I want to speak with you for a second”

Her eyes opened widely upon hearing her boss’ voice behind her. She turned around in a slow manner, reminding herself not to cry in front of him “Sure” Following the petit man to his office, she took some deep breaths to keep her heart from pounding that hard against her chest.

“So” Mr. Jung spoke up once they were settled “How do you feel?”

Y/n heavily exhaled and looked down, playing with the end of her black pencil skirt, a bad habit of hers when she felt anxious “I could have done much better”

“I believe just the same, my dear. I understand that you were nervous, though. It felt the same for me when I was the one being tried, so don’t worry too much. I know your potential” the man smiled, leaning over his desk “That’s why I’m giving you the job”

She had to have heard him wrong. He was giving her the position after messing up like that on her one and only chance? Was he even there when she went blank on national television?

“Wha-” she cut herself off, feeling how a thousand different emotions flowed inside her body.

“You showed me that you have the skills to be in front of the camera with a script, and without one. It was impressive, how in a matter of seconds you were able to keep on talking with Taeki about the issue like nothing had happened, like you never got lost in your own world”

“But I did get lost” she mumbled, feeling the tears blurring her vision once again.

“So what? It is not about following the script all the time, y/n. You are a professional when you know how to manage, how to get yourself out of a problem in just seconds. Everyone is talking about that, and you should be proud of yourself”

“I… I can’t believe this” she let out a laugh, completely out in disbelief.

“And you know what? You were so good that even Yunho decided to let you have the job”

The tears that had gathered in her eyes fell down her face altogether upon hearing Mr. Jung’s confession “What?” y/n asked, completely out of shock.

“As you hear it. He came to me an hour or so after we finished, and told me that you deserved the job more than he did. That you were capable of that and even more. I didn’t know that you went to college together! You didn’t seem like you were friends to me”

“We are not friends, Mr. Jung” y/n shook her head, drying her tears with the back of her hand “I can’t believe he told you that”

“Me neither. He seemed really enthusiastic about this job last week. But anyways, congratulations! Your training starts tomorrow. We have just a few days to get you ready to be our new news’ anchor”

She left that office with the most contradicting feelings she had ever felt. Of course, she was overjoyed. The fucking job of her damned dreams was hers! She had failed the task, but she got it despite of it. However, the fact that Yunho had given up his chance just to let her have it was not leaving her heart anytime soon. Why would he do that? He would never abandon such an opportunity just because she deserved it. Who thought like that nowadays? Who was that selfless?

Apparently, Yunho was. So she decided to wait for him outside the building three hours later. She knew he had the same schedule as Jaehyun, who always left half an hour after her.

Winter was her favourite season. Wearing long coats and fluffy scarves was her most enjoyable activity. But sometimes, having snow falling on her when she was out and about bothered her a little. Not like she was willing to admit that, especially to Hongseok, who defended summer with all of his passion. Luckily for her, the hot chocolate cups that she was holding kept her hands warm.

Just when she was about to leave, assuming that Yunho had left earlier, she distinguished his large frame going out of the building. He was busy putting on his gloves, so he never realized she was standing right next to him. She faked a cough, and it took a couple more to make him aware of her presence.

“Oh-sorry! My mind was somewhere else. How are you?” he smiled at her, and this time, it felt real. He had no second intentions, no secret plans. Just a genuine smile.

“I’m happy” she admitted, a little smile plastered on her own lips “Mr. Jung gave me the job”

“Right! I heard about that. Congratulations, y/n, you really deserve it. And I mean it”

“You know…” she replied, tearing her eyes away from his, which were looking at her with great intensity “He told me that you gave up the job”

Maybe it was because of the cold, but Yunho’s cheeks were painted a deep shade of pink. He looked across the street, shoving his hands on his coat’s pockets, and fought back a nervous smile.

“Why would you do that?” she pushed, taking advantage of his panicky state.

“You were the best candidate out of the two of us”

“That’s not what I want, Yunho” she scoffed “You made it clear that you would fight for the job, and that you always won. What happened today?”

“Nothing”

Y/n sighed. He was a hard one.

“Yunho, don’t be like that. I messed up and you did an outstanding job. You were the one who deserved that position, and you know that. So why? Why would you give it up?”

“I heard you crying” he confessed, looking at her right in the eye “I heard you when you told Hongseok that it was your dream job, and I just couldn’t do it. How awful as a person would I be to tear your dreams apart when I have the power to just help them become a reality? I know that you think of me as a selfish, competitive bastard. But I’m not like that. It was just-”

“A façade” she interrupted him, feeling how her eyes flooded with tears “But you just put it out for me”

Yunho sighed, and cursed with a deep mumble.

“It’s okay” y/n shook her head, fighting the tears back “You don’t have to explain anything. I get that you don’t like m-”

“It’s not that, y/n, it’s not that at all” the boy took his hands out of his pockets and placed them on the sides of her arms.

“Really, Yunho, don’t worry about that. I just wanted to thank you. I’m not sure if I deserve that but I’ll make sure not to let you down” she exhaled heavily, taking a step back in order to leave “Oh! I almost forgot” she extended one of her arms towards him “This is for you. I know that you don’t like coffee so I bought hot chocolate instead. As a thank you” she smiled weakly.

And with that she left Yunho behind, standing all by himself under the falling snow, and looking at the paper cup with disbelief. She had remembered.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ 　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　 ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚ ˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚

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