#colin fantasy life

[mmovemmountains]

Seeing Colin in the new Fantasy Life trailer revived me,,, I am a new person,,,, I can wait years.... Centuries... for the next game,,,, He's so BEAUTIFUL my SON *incoherent crying*

[flame-in-heart]

Watching all the Polin edits and I just wanted to say: Marina, you will always be famous.

[dollypopup]

so many people out here mad af that Colin isn't in love w/ Penelope from jump and completely ignoring that the single sexiest thing a man can do is be friends w/ a woman wholeheartedly and without having any romantic or sexual expectation from her

[plumeriacosmos]

kinda wanna see a polin au based on korean romfan webtoons where the everything goes to shit, and penelope gets executed by the queen, she regresses through time (at her death) and goes through her life all over again, but she vowes to do things “correctly” this time (which is probably like try not to fall in love with colin and maybe pull away from the bridgertons in general)

what she doesnt know tho, is that colin also regressed through time. And he also wants to do things right with pen this time around.

tl:dr: penelope knows what will happen, colin knows the future, too. they have different goals. Pen tries to run from colin, colin will chase after her

[draconic-distress]

What’s up fuckers Fantasy Life Online is ending so I wrote a thing. It’s not done yet but at least I know where it’s going so hopefully it’ll be all done by tomorrow since that’s the last day. Anyways enjoy :)

[girllookingoutwindow]

People comes and goes. Colin eyes are dancing in the room following her. She is too far away. He wanted to reach her, but she's in the center and he's in the corner. This is her night. So he waits, giving her the moment.

His eyes call for her. Their find each other. She looks at him and his body has his own will and gets closer to her. Where he belongs. He can't stop looking to her.

She is so beautiful that he can't believe that she's real. The night feels like a fantasy tale. She's a butterfly, ehereal and dreamy.

They were so many things in his mind. So many things he wants to say. He's so impressed, so proud of her. Of what she'd done. She's free now. He feels free too. Like some heavy weight has left his body.

it's something different on her, a calming force, a strength in her voice. But it's kind of nature. The softness of it all makes him feel soft too.

She speaks and he can't comprehend the words that came from her mouth. He heard them and they feel they come from the depths of the void. From a different world. A different life. A life he couldn't be more afraid. A life without her.

The strings in his heart that connects to hers press him deeply. His breath hurts. It's water in his eyes. Just one tear could fill an ocean.

She's his family. She always was. It's not home without her.

She's letting him go. He recognises the feeling. He tried to do the same for her before. But it felt wrong. It feels so wrong. He can't let go. He doesn't want to let go of the feeling that her presence makes in his soul.

What he would be, more than the shadows of a man?

She talks about forgiveness. He knows he hurt her. He's not proud of it. They hurt each other. More than they thought they were able to do so or even want it. He was so full of resentment and distrust. But he needed to feel it. To embraced completely to let it go.

He missed her. Even when she was in the same room. He wanted to touch her, to kiss her. He was too proud to let her know.

He can't never be able to be far away from her. She needs to know.

A piece of her heart was in her letters. But her mind was all there too. They were full of her kindness and curiosity. They were so cleaver and full of her humor. She was her real self there. He had the privilege of knowing her like nobody else. He loved her all along.

He needed her. The way they made him feel alive and close to home. He was so lost without his letters.

She made him come back. Her voice always calls him like a siren's song.

He loves Pen, but he loved Whistledown without him knowing all along. He loves both of them. It's the woman he chose to marry, who's in front of him. He doesn't imagine not being her. He doesn't want to. She's the most brave woman he knows.

He was so jealous. Jealous of her success. She made her dreams come true before he knew his. He was jealous of her writing and having to share her with it. He felt so little around her.

She could have the entire world if she wanted to. Why she would chose him? Why she would love him? He never could find a reason. He didn't have anything to give. He wanted to be so worthy of her love.

He can't imagine let that warm feeling go.

He didn't have to find one. What reason has to do with love? Maybe he was just the luckiest man int he world. To love such woman and she loving him back. Lucky that the destiny made her know her. To find each other.

He would do of his love his reason. His purpose. Nothing else, nothing more. He doesn't want nothing more.

He wants his wife. He needs to say it to her. Every day. In every moment he can. He missed her so much.

He wants to makes her smile every day. But he want to be there when she cries, and she's angry with him. When they fight for the most silly things. He wants to be there with her. And dance with her, together, the rest of their lives.

[weirdmorefics]

bridgerton sister ran away just before the beginning of her season and discovered by Colin in St Petersburg under a fake identity and bought back home

The Familiar Barmaid

x bridgerton!sister

Pronouns- She/her

Warning- Mother issues

Word Count- 933

Summary- The reader wants to be an author, but unfortunately, she has a season to get back to.

Y/n Bridgerton had never dreamed of being married like her other sisters (Eloise excluded). Y/n loved reading, she imagined her own stories and stashed her written stories under her bed. She craved to be an author like the ones who made the books she admired. Her mother however had other plans for her since day one; come out, become the diamond of the season, and be courted by a handsome gentleman I loved who hopefully had an amazing title. I never craved that life I much preferred to live in the fantasy worlds I created in my head. This leads us to my escape from the Bridgerton household the night before my season.

I had packed the most important things to me; my writings, my favorite books, and the leftover money I had been saving from my gown fittings. I quietly took my horse out of the stable at night and rode the horse to a place no one would know Y/n Bridgerton.

I rode my horse for as far as she could go taking breaks in dingy inns that my Mother wouldn't dare to step foot in. By the time I was in St Petersburg, I was already short on funds. It was a better place to settle than most it had gorgeous views and so many new things to write about. As luck would have it the bar in town was looking for a barmaid. Unfortunately, the bar owner could tell very easily that I had no experience. Shockingly he gave me a chance! He said I reminded him of his daughter who recently married so her room above the bar was also available. It felt like fate like I had been sucked into my very own fantasy book.

I spent my days writing in the nearby park and the nights dealing with town drunks. Honestly, they weren't too bad just demanding their drinks. I learned quickly and I became their favorite barmaid only because I made the drinks the fastest but it still made me feel accomplished. It was a bittersweet feeling to have the town drunks appreciate me more than my mother but at least I was appreciated.

I felt true relief once the season was over no longer worried they would find me and make me a last-minute entry. The bar was just closing and I was washing the grimy tables when the chime of the door startled me. The man was bundled his scarf nearly covering his whole face.

I turned to him and frowned politely "I am so sorry sir we are just closing."

The man gasps once he hears me speak "Y/N?"

I quickly back up accidentally sending a chair to the ground with a loud thud, "I think you have the wrong woman sir."

My boss exits the backroom at the commotion, "This fella bothering you Rose?"

"Are you serious Y/n? Rose? Be a little more original," the man unwraps his scarf and my fists immediately tighten.

"Colin, what are you doing here?" I practically growl.

"You know this man Rose? Seems a little too uptight for you, but I am not here to judge your taste in suitors." My boss chuckles finding his comment hilarious.

Colin gags, "That is my little sister I'll have you know! And I am bringing you right home Mother has been worried sick about you!"

I roll my eyes "She probably did not even know about my absence until Lady Whistledown announced it. How did she cover it up? Am I in the States visiting my cousins?"Colin's face turns beat red which tells me I am right.

Colin tries to change the subject, "Your sisters miss you dearly, Daphne was devasted you were not there for her wedding."

I gasped, "Daphne is already married! The season just ended!"

Colin rubbed his arm, "There were a lot of issues with this season Y/n… honestly we all could have used some of that Y/n wisdom. I especially could have used some of that wisdom." He mumbled the last part seeming very embarrassed to admit it.

"Oh, Colin… I am so sorry. I miss my siblings all dearly but I am not meant for the home carer life. I am meant to be out there writing about anything I can get my hands on." I gesture to the world around me.

"That is one good thing about your departure, no one thinks you are Lady WhistleDown anymore," He smirks.

"Oh what a pity I did like causing fear and scaring the men off with the promise to write about them," I smile.

Colin sighs, "I will make you a deal Y/n, travel with me during my studies. You can explore the world that way, but you must write to Mother and the rest of your siblings and let them know you are safe."

"You know she or Anthony will just drag me back home," I frown.

"Not with me by your side, I am sure I can convince Anthony and she can convince Mama." He smiles as the plan begins to form in his head.

I smiley widely, "You have yourself a deal Colin Bridgerton."

He smiles back as my boss lets out a few stray tears, "You truly are just like my daughter, just as stubborn and hot-headed. Be sure to visit your welcome back anytime."

I gave him a side hug, "Oh boss you big old softie."

Colin laughs, "Y/n you are truly something."

"Why thank you," I take a bow. "Shall we take our leave?"

"We shall," Colin smiles.

[nandermoenthusiast]

The coffin lands with a crash, Nandor already out of it gracefully as his vampiric nature grants him.

“Have you survived the fall Guillermo, are you allright?” he asks haughtily and with a barely concealed predatory grin at the yelping heap of limbs and clothes that is Guillermo right now. Of course he was never truly worried for his well being, Guillermo might be human, but he is no regular human, if his van Helsing blood has anything to say about that. Nandor just likes to tease.

“Yes master, im fine, i just wasnt prepa-“

Nandor offers him a hand out of the coffin, the way Guillermo has done so many times before for him. Nandor looks at him curiously, Guillermo looks all flustered right now, hes cute. Hes always cute of course, but damn. He hasn’t even realised the obvious parallel yet, just took his hand absent-mindedly as he was rambling about something. His hair is all mussed up too. Cute.

Probably the moment registers into Guillermo’s mind as Nandor hears his muttering protests suddenly cut short. He’s looking at their gingerly intertwined hands and kinda looks like hes about to swallow a frog, or maybe like he’s about to start crying again. This fucking guy. Always a theatrics with him. But Nandor has learned to lean into his little guy’s moods. He leaves him to his maybe horny maybe emotional thoughts and finishes helping him out of the coffin.

The air is thick between them now. He can sort of hear Guillermo’s heartbeat from this distance, the little guy probably has a concert thumping in his ears right now. Nandor enjoys playing with his food, always has, and today is no different. He takes a step closer. Guillermo takes an infinitesimal step back. There is a wall very close to his back. Right where Nandor wanted him.

“You know as i was saying about the cameras, Guillermo…” he starts feign-casual as he very not casually hovers over him, black eyes boring into him with the fire that only very rarely comes out in front of the crew. Guillermo looks like he’s a mixture between disbelieving and like he’s gonna pass out from hyperventilation at a moments notice. It’s an endearing mix.

“Y-yes, you -were saying something about your hair…” Guillermo couldn’t physically look away from Nandor if his life depended on it right now.

“And other reasons”, very seriously.

“- Yeah”, an exhale.

Just look at his eager little eyes. Should he put the guy out of his misery? Well come to think of it, should he put himself out of his own misery? He’s been in love with the guy for the better part of a decade now. Of course he’s not about to say that now. Let him play the part of suave vampire for his Guillermo, let him fullfill any fantasy he’s ever had, at the very least this very first time they do this dance. There will be time for the mushy stuff later. Come to think of it, what is Nandor doing?? Acting on years of pent up sexual and romantic tension, of course, but what is he setting himself up to? Heartbreak.

Violent, earth shattering heartbreak. Maybe not today, maybe not in 10 years, but soon. Soon to a vampire anyway. No- you don’t know that. If Guillermo loves me, he might find a way to not leave me like he always does. He always does leave. But then he also always comes back. Doesn’t he? Nandor loses himself in these thoughts for a moment, and Guillermo seems to notice his mind is suddenly somewhere else.

Oh, to be known so completely. Oh, to have a worthy partner, a partner who knows everything about you, a Lazlo to your Nadja, a Charmaine to your Sean, a Sire to your Baron. And to have to lose it in a matter of years. Just his luck. But also like Colin Robinson said, dont be sad cause its over, smile cause it happened.

Nandor’s eyes keep searching Guillermo’s as he draws closer and closer, eyes intensely registering every microexpression on his beloved’s face, the little crinkle between his brows and the small nervous smile that’s forming around his lips. His hands land seamlessly and delicately on either side of Guillermo’s face, and he feels his breath hitch. He really doesn’t give a flying fuck if he’s gonna suffer for a thousand years, Guillermo is here right now and he looks like he’s gonna break under his touch. One hand goes to cradle his head, thumb delicately swiping over Guillermo’s ear and pulse point, as Nandor brings their noses together and they breathe the same air for a moment. The other hand is held gently across his cheek, just there, a reassuring weight. “I’m going to kiss you now”.

And Nandor kisses him.

[nitw]

the whole sigcorp franchise is about grief -- life, death, grief, and moving on. but i really appreciate how each game handles the topic differently and paints a new perspective of it via the characters in focus:

in to the moon, johnny struggles to cope with a loss and a sense of guilt he can't rationalize. the game asks if it's fair for johnny to be happy if his happiness outweighs the real memories and consequences of the life he lived... but ultimately, it's not up for the doctors (or us) to decide -- johnny's love for river was real, and that mattered to him more than anything else deep down. nothing could change that fact, and he subconsciously held onto it, even as the fabric of reality broke down around him.

in finding paradise, colin struggles to accept his own life coming to an end despite having little to no regrets, and uses fantasy as an excuse to justify his dissatisfaction. the game asks if there's any clear difference between "real" memories and "the fiction we tell ourselves"... but when so much of our lives is fueled by a natural fear of death and loneliness, the distinction barely matters. every moment can be meaningful if you just want it to be, even if it's in retrospect. even the little things.

in impostor factory, lynri struggles with seeing worth in her own life, yet simultaneously does everything she can to leave a lasting mark on the world -- while quincy struggles to be her anchor, as he becomes increasingly aware that they can't live a normal life together. the game asks if lynri has the right to be selfish and pursue her goals at the expense of any chance at happiness with quincy, or if quincy has the right to be selfish and keep lynri grounded if that just seals her fate... but there's no correct answer to that. life is too complicated for there to be a singular, perfect thread of choices. sometimes pain is unavoidable, so all you can do is make the most of what you have while it still lasts.

and every time, these dilemmas are directly mirrored through eva and neil. it always circles back to the hypocritical nature of what sigcorp does, to eva putting on a strong face and trying to see these issues in black and white to protect herself, to neil genuinely believing in the value of his work but failing to take his own advice.

i think the beach episode was the perfect conclusion to all of this. we don't know how eva's gonna carry on now... but we have to imagine that she is. we have to hold onto that hope, for her sake and for our own. we, the audience, have to accept this as the end of the series, and believe that the moment we press the escape key, eva accepts it as well.

these fictional people's lives meant something to us. and if there was hope for them, there's hope for us, too.

[mmovemmountains]

Maybe if I draw cute Fantasy Life boys enough the new switch game will come out faster...

[moirindeclermont]

Following yesterday's post, on today's episode of ,"all the Polin first times we didn't see in BridgertonS3" it's the first time Colin touches himself in front of Pen.

It can be a direct follow up to yesterday's scene.

They invert their position, so Colin is front of the mirror and Pen can watch the full show. He also tells her about the first time he was touching himself thinking of her.

"it was after our first kiss" and he goes to touch his lips "I don't know how late I fell asleep because I continued to play that kiss in my mind. I was hard just thinking about it, which had never happened before. But I tried to abstain because you were clear we were friends - or so I thought" and Pen is watching him intensely.

"I dreamt of you that night for the first time and in my dream, our kiss didn't stop" and he goes down on his body, pinching hard his nipples before heading to his peen, standby proudly in front of them.

"I was kissing your neck and your breasts when I woke up, and my hand find her way under my cover" and he is using the same hand now, moving slowly, doing some movement with his wrist that Pen wants to learn. He use the liquid at the tip to make the movements easier while he moans. Colin talks a lot about her sounds, but his are te most sexy thing Pen has ever heard.

"and I started touching myself like now, thinking of you and your lips. Your breasts touching me" he is speeding up, getting lost in the moment just as she was moments before.

"and then my fantasy got dirtier, because next thing I was imagining you bouncing on top of me, taking your pleasure. Needless to say I came so fast that time I was actually a hit embarrassed with myself" he confess as he continues to touch himself, the other hand going around his body.

"and after the carriage, sometimes I would touch my hair like you did. It's not the same, but I always imagine you doing it" as he proceeds to repeat the movement, while he is getting close. He leans on Pen's chest, felling how hard her nipples are and how affected she is "and after being inside you, all I have to do to come is imagine that" as he scrunch his face in his classic expression when he release.

He collapses in pen's arm and they share a intimate, deep kiss. He feels Pen caressing his chest, making him shiver and then she surprises him by saying in his ear "now husband, I'm wet again... Would you like to do something about it?" And Colin would never refuse such an offer.

I accept request! Send me your most unconfessed Polin fantasy and I should bring it to life for you.

[dollypopup]

We all need to take more time to appreciate Colin Bridgerton and the details of his sexy dream. In his brain, the ultimate fantasy involves

him walking to Penelope in a new (fully imagined) dress/nightgown as he is cravatless, shirt undone, in her garden in the mist

an APOLOGY to her for how late it is, and that he just HAD to see her (Colin Bridgerton out here putting the man in manners)

STUTTERING through a confession of how much he's been thinking of her ("I rehearsed that speech for hours")

The mist dissipating and turning into flames around them like candlelight (he's a WRITER!!!!!! the metaphors. the VIBES)

Her reply that she ALSO can't stop thinking of him or their kiss (consent KING)

The two of them passionately smooching as he presses her against a wall (they like it rough)

Cushioning the back of her head with his hand as she grabs onto his arm for dear life (but also tender)

Very loud moaning from her as he kisses over her neck and chest (praise kink! praise kink! praise kink!)

and then my man woke up in a SWEAT. chest HEAVING. cheeks RED. from one of the most romantic PG-13 wet dreams possible. this is the guy who was having threesomes like half an episode ago and now he's blushy blushy over the idea of Pen having feelings for him and them smoochin' about it. and you wanna tell me he's NOT the best Bridgerton Boy??? puhlease!!! 11/10, ultimate fave, sign him up for an AO3 account posthaste

[just-some-guy-joust]

Just Some Guy Joust - Contestants List

Note: This is NOT the order of the brackets. Like with the last tournament, the order of the brackets will be a surprise. This list was randomized from the brackets I set up and does not represent who each character will be up against. The only thing you know for sure which side of the bracket they're on. When the polls go up, they'll be posted in order based on the list here, NOT based on where their brackets actually are!

Round 1 of Side A is over! Round 1 of Side B is CURRENTLY UP!

(Full list of characters in text format is under the cut)

Side A

Sasha James (The Magnus Archives)

Reigen Arataka (Mob Psycho 100) - died round 1

Joy (Underworld Office/Charlie in Underworld) - died round 1

Junpei (Zero Escape)

Horse (Centaurworld)

Phone Guy (FNAF) - died round 1

Gordon Freeman (HLVRAI)

Joshua Gillespie (The Magnus Archives) - died round 1

Namari (Dungeon Meshi)

Shez (Fire Emblem: Three Hopes) - died round 1

Henry Stickmin (Henry Stickmin)

Stanley (The Stanley Parable)

Whole (Chonny Jash's Charming Chaos Compendium) - died round 1

Larry (Pokemon)

Luke Carder (Inscryption) - died round 1

Leorio Paladiknight (Hunter x Hunter) - died round 1

Barry the Quokka (The Murder of Sonic the Hedgehog)

Tommy (HLVRAI) - died round 1

Ulala Serizawa (Persona 2: Eternal Punishment) - died round 1

April O'Neil (TMNT - All versions)

Tsuzuru Minagi (Act! Addict! Actors!) - died round 1

Matt (Woe.Begone)

Gilear Faeth (Fantasy High - Dimension 20)

Apollo Justice (Ace Attorney)

Emmet Brickowski (The LEGO Movie) - died round 1

Stahl (Fire Emblem: Awakening)

Doug Eiffel (Wolf 359) - died round 1

Jack Townsend (Tales from the Gas Station) - died round 1

Frisk (Undertale) - died round 1

Brian Pasternack (Yuppie Psycho)

Trevor Hills (American Arcadia)

Barry Bluejeans (The Adventure Zone: Balance) - died round 1

Side B

Carol Kohl (Carol and The End of The World)

Jaehee Kang (Mystic Messenger) - died round 1

Paul Matthews (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals)

Emma Perkins (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals) - died round 1

Su Moting (God Troubles Me) - died round 1

Satou Hiroshi (Disastrous Life of Saiki K.)

Chilchuck Tims (Dungeon Meshi) - died round 1

Michelle Nguyen (Welcome to Night Vale)

Tad Strange (Gravity Falls)

Colin Robinson (What We Do in the Shadows) - died round 1

The Bard (Wandersong)

Usopp (One Piece) - died round 1

Nick Carraway (The Great Gatsby)

Link (Ocarina of Time) - died round 1

Kazooie (In a Manor of Speaking) - died round 1

Connecticut Clark (FlorkofCows)

Samwise Gamgee (Lord of the Rings)

Hitomi Shizuki (Madoka Magica)

Junpei Iori (Persona 3)

Han Solo (Star Wars) - died round 1

Tomoya Mashiro (Ensemble Stars!) - died round 1

Peter Sqloint (Just Roll With It: Apotheosis)

Cabbage Merchant (Avatar: The Last Airbender)

Marta Cabrera (Knives Out) - died round 1

Greg Universe (Steven Universe)

Yuuki Mishima (Persona 5) - died round 1

Gingerbrave (Cookie Run) - died round 1

Arthur Dent (Hitchhikers Guide to The Galaxy) - died round 1

Elsen (OFF)

Mob (Mob Psycho 100)

Tadano Hitohito (Komi Can't Communicate) - died round 1

Rung (Transformers - IDW Continuity) - died round 1

[biteofcherry]

I'm absolutely floored with the love and response New Year's Eve Lottery ficlets received 🥹🥰 Thank you all!

I had a blast writing them and personally I love each bit, even the cruel ones (oops, sorry). I also know you have your own favorites. I think it's safe to assume that each of the participants wouldn't mind if I turned their story into a full fic 😎 Though I won't be doing that, I have considered maaaaybe developing one of those ideas into a full story this year? 👀

You have you faves, but I'm choosing from the ones that are tempting me to write more of them the most. Which one of this would you like to see explored and developed? (links to the ficlets under the cut, below the poll)

links to the ficlets:

urban fantasy Steve

vampire Ransom coming to life

pub owner Curtis

yet another mafia Steve

Lloyd taking over your and Colin's lives

love of your life Bucky returns, but he's dark

dark angel Steve

audio porn actors Ari and Steve

Capo Andy

[lookingfts]

Friday Fic Rec 10/18

Thanks as always for your submissions! Titles are links to each fic.

All’s Well That Ends Well (To End Up With You) and Help Me Hold On To You by aRegularJo

“Amazing modern AU that manages to include all of the Bridgerton family in a story that rings very true to Anthony and Kate.”

Description: Anthony Bridgerton does *not* want to marry Kate Sharma. And Kate Sharma definitely doesn’t have time to date Anthony Bridgerton. But a friends-with-benefits contract? That’s rational; in fact, it’s really just good sense. Things escalate quickly.

Complete - T - 190k words

Indulgence by @helenakwayne

“Kate has a hot fantasy life, and when she dares Anthony to join in, the result is everything you could expect.”

Description: During a late night at work, a rather impatient Kathani Sharma considers how to make a move on Anthony Bridgerton… or better yet, how to get Anthony to make a move on her. (Modern AU)

Complete - E - 16k words

The Way to a Man's Heart by wetheresponsible

“Anthony loving EVERYTHING about Kate, including the new world of culinary delights she brings.”

Description: Anthony Bridgerton has a secret. His family sets out to uncover it.

(Well. Benedict and Colin do, at least.)

Complete - E - 10k words

take my hand, wreck my plans, that's my man (series) by @folklauerate

“I don't know what else to say about this series. Anthony and Kate are college professors and their relationship is as precious as it is filthy. *Chef's kiss*”

Description: It becomes a thing. “My treat, kitten,” He says, sliding into the booth at Turtle Bay, and sliding her a gin and tonic. Perhaps it’s wrong. Perhaps she shouldn’t like it. Perhaps she should figure out some sort of boundary, some sort of something. But she doesn’t. She likes it. (an age-gap au but they're both professors so is it really that bad)

Complete - E - 37k words

till the day i meet my maker by cyclothimic

Description: Anthony occupies a small position in the government, and Kate makes doing his job so much harder.

Complete - T - 8k words

LFTS rec: Sidelines by ramarro

This is one of those fics where I’m like oh, you haven’t read it? Read it right now. It’s an absolute Kanthony classic. A masterclass in buildup and sexual tension that I don’t think I’ll ever have the patience to accomplish. 😂

Description: Kate sees Anthony's bumble profile and finds it very pretentious. It does not stop her from obsessively drawing his arms though. Until he starts dating her sister.

Complete - E - 63k words

Thanks to those who submitted! This is a (mostly) weekly thing, so keep your recs coming! You can find previous weeks under the "lfts fic recs" tag.

[cathreaux]

So, I'm assuming, after weeks of pretending that is all casual, that I'm in the polin fever too. I mean, the way I'm OBSESSED with them that I even started to write fanfics again after yeeears AND also posting, sharing and comment a lot (like, I'm more like a quiet fan, but this time I can't) but the way I'm going onto some headcanons about the show... Oh, sweet fanfic-child, remember their not canon.

But, as a wise yearning man on tears said, "I cAn'T" and now I can't stop thinking about what if Pen was Colin's childhood crush?

✨imagine with me for a moment✨

As we know —I think? We know? I think we know this or maybe I'm spend too much time here— from the beginning Colin been found Pen charming, intelligent, funny, brave, pretty, interesting, sensible, lovely and a long list of qualities that Colin "my wife" Bridgerton would love to tell you. And for him is so normal, like, "of course I think she's amazing, have you seen her?" that the idea of him being ashamed of her was ridiculous. And he let her know that so many times during the season, even before the kiss. Her silence was tortured him when he was in his tour and, even if he wasn't conscious, part of all the changes he did were thinking if that would bring her attention back.

Ok, with that on mind, what if when they know each other he has a crush on her? In the show they meet when they were kids, and she make an unforgettable first impression that even after years he remembered with a big soft smile. But ALSO he REMEMBER when the Featheringtons moved to their house (he see her BEFORE they meet in the incident with the horse). He was mesmerized, so charmed by her and trying to cause a good impression (his reaction after fall of the horse said a lot), but the fact that she start a friendship with Eloise and he keep seeing her, also influenced on what I think was the big Colin's travel of childhood'crush/myverygoodfriend/ohshitIwasinloveallthisfuckingtime.

Because, first of all, if Pen and Eloise hadn't become friends they would never have had the opportunity to seen each other so much and less yet to know themselves as they did. Society rules wouldn't let them. They were children but even in that moment of their lifes a friendship between girls and boys wasn't good looking for others. But Pen and El becoming friends (I'm sure that would happen with or without Colin) and that created so many moments for them. For develop the proximity, the puns, the games, the conversations, to sharing interest, the fact that they think the other is pretty but doesn't know if he/she think the same, the chemistry. They have enough space and time for nervous giggles and show a discrete interest that they can hide as a friendship' start, but not enough space and time alone for profound theirs feelings and show/seen more of how the other feels.

If Pen had not become friend with Eloise, they would be only neighbors and he would be interested, but more like a distance fantasy that something more real and deep, more easy to let it go (and maybe it would return when she debuts). But being friend with her changes everything. His interest for her was bigger and bigger, but, how he can keep her in his life without pushing her away? He had to let his crush and feelings stay in the shadows of his childhood, where every infant love is supposed to remain.

If Eloise wouldn't been always present or interrupting their interactions they're would also deep their relationship (no encontré cual es la palabra correcta para lazos porque la que me salió no es la que estaba buscando), maybe would notice (both of them) that it wasn't only friendship for the other... But the thing is Bridgertons doesn't know how to share (that's included friends) and, for the way the ton work in their context, he can't claim her as his (in any way) at the same way that Eloise do. Even call her his friend was go against the status quo, any other claim being so young would only distance them for the society rules. In fact, his family give them so much freedom that they wouldn't have with any other that wasn't a Bridgerton. But the rules are still there. So, he have to choose. And childhood crush only remains in the past, right? He want her in his life permanent, so a very good friend has to be.

Another point is, yes, he was more closed to his sister's ages and with them in general, but Pen was the girl he meet by himself, the person outside his family with who have most proximity. And he finds her charming from the beginning. And he was always so romantic, he probably loved to play the prince, the knight or the savior pirate when he played with Pen and his sisters. He's always trying to prove to others that he is enough, trying to been seen in a good way, in forms that he would like to be perceived or at least what he think other people want or expect.

And she see him. She listen him. She talks to him. She doesn't think that his dreams, fears, hopes and doubts are dumb. She validates his feelings, always do. She see the real Colin. But as a friend.

That is what he thinks.

Also, as I said before, friendship between girls and boys wasn't allowed to be. Having Pen on his life, having a girl-friend in his life wasn't something normal, he don't have references for how is supposed to be or feel.

And then is all the El's opinion about the ton, the marriage market and Pen always seems like she support all her opinions. As far as Colin or any Bridgerton knew (except for Violet), Pen felt the same way. When Penelope debuted, he doesn't believed she would be interested in marriage. Yes, he understand that she doesn't feel comfortable for so many reasons (her mama, Cressida, society in general) but he also believes that she don't have any interest of being part of that (and we know that wasn't her perspective). So, he keep the "she is a very good friend" discourse. Because she doesn't want him, as she never did (for his perspective) but she doesn't want a husband or prospects in general, so that's okay. She will keep being his friend and he's still the more important man in her life outside her family.

And then we have aaaaaall that he heard for his entire life. How is supposed to feel love, desire, passion and interest in the adulthood. The way how he would feel instantly after he seen the other person and would be mutual, the fact that any other man never talk about the tenderness, the laught or the softness he always feel with Pen.

And after Marina, after all the jokes about him being green, his doubts about his place in society, the silence with he had to deal in his travel after the Featherington's Ball, and his thoughts that that is what he need to be, even if is not himself... He changes. Only for discover when he return that everything changed.

He want Pen back, he apologized after knew what he did, but then he discovered that Pen want prospects. Pen want to marry someone else. Pen is open to the idea of having a partner. Someone that is not him.

Never wasn't him, right? But he offered his help, because he want her back, he wants to spend time with her in any way he can, and yeah, she wants marry. Is fine, is perfectly fine. They're friends. As always. Is okay she's gonna give to other man the privilege to be her most important man on her life. Cool. Is not breaking him at all...

But only for the work... what is she looking for in a husband? What's she want? Why can't be him?

And after the kiss... Well :)

I think that (and I known myself, I probably gonna talk about the scenes between them having this headcanon on mind) would suite a lot with all his journey in his story with Pen 🖤 thanks for coming to my Tumblr talk 😘