#cockroaches fucking everywhere

[conspicuous-clown-car]

considering how fnaf was based off of chuck e cheese, them doing this sly 'fnaf but not legally fnaf' cash grab just proves my point of how spot on scott cawthon was with making fazbear entertainment a shitty company. CEC Entertainment really is that bad

[starlightandmagic]

So idk if it’s just me but it seems to me like there’s a sudden influx of trump supporters EVERYWHERE online, being very bold and very loud, and based on arguments alone I’ve noticed that you trump supporters are in dire need of help. So, I’m doing a fundraise for you guys and I’ll be donating braincells, please come collect them asap, they’re completely free you don’t even have to do anything but promise to use them, it looks like you desperately need them 😭

[bigassbowlingballhead]

Travis Kelce getting an acting project announcement before Taylor 💀💀💀💀

[symbioticsimplicity]

Hallucinating bugs when stressed is already a fucking pain. But like. There's ACTUALLY cockroaches in my apartment and it stresses me out. Which leads to hallucinating bugs.

[xx-psych0-rabbit-xx]

POSITIVE VENT IN THE TAGS IM HAVING THE REVENGE TIME OF MY LIFEEE

[mystardustinaperson]

this world should stop

how do we continue our lives when we see such horrible suffering around us

how can anyone see these pictures and videos and not feel anything at all

[therewillbenoromance]

the cockroach chronicles continue

[fakeoutbf]

.

[itsonlybaby]

𐙚ᣟ݂﹒𝐟𝐮𝐥𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐭𝐞 - 𝐣. 𝐦𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐡𝐲﹒

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

playlist ! i hope you enjoy this

John Murphy - Dropship

꒰ ୨୧ ꒱ ⸝⸝ You hated Murphy since you landed on the ground, you didn't expect for him to awaken something in you. ﹒ 　 ⊹ 　⤷ cw: shameless Murphy smut, plot, some violence, nsfw

Life on the ground was incredible.

It was like nothing I could've ever imagined, even though there were threats, such as the grounders and unstudied plants due to radiation- but none as big as John Murphy.

Everywhere I looked he'd be there; infecting everything with his toxins. The power Bellamy had given him went straight to his head, he truly believed he was better than everyone.

He seemed to know I hated him, and he gladly reciprocated that. His way of showing me? By humiliating me every chance he got.

I hadn't understood why he hated me, I had always tried to be nice to everyone around camp; even him at times, but he knew just how to wear my patience thin.

I had been peacefully minding my business skinning the newly fresh rabbit brought in by the hunting party. The game they brought was enough to feed everyone for the next two weeks. A deer, two bunnies, and a bird. One girl also brought in a few plants for me to work with for seasoning.

I was the camp butcher and cook, having sadly lost the previous ones. Everyone always adored my cooking and I tried to work with what we had.

Well, everyone except Murphy.

"What're you doing?"

The voice hit my ears like nails on a chalkboard, I didn't need to turn around to know who was about to pester me into a hole.

"What do you think I'm doing roach," I ask with heavy annoyance in my voice, still focused on skinning the rabbits while the water for the stew boiled.

"Poisoning the camp with your horrendous cooking," I could hear him walking closer to me, and my patience grew thin with every step.

"just go away-" I had been cut off by a loud crash.

He had kicked the pot of boiling water over into the dirt, drawing the attention of others.

This was my final straw.

Gripping the knife in my hand I swiftly grabbed Murphy, holding the bloodied knife to his throat.

"Fuck you, Murphy!" I shouted the blood from the rabbit was now on his neck.

Fear was masked behind ego in his eyes, I could tell he was scared by the way his hands defensively went up.

"I'm sorry, alright!" He spewed, something was relieving about hearing those words, seeing him so afraid of me. Though, anybody would be afraid.

Deep down I knew I wouldn't kill him, I knew the consequences of that. Killing Murphy wouldn't be worth getting tossed out of camp.

It had only been a few seconds before Bellamy was pulling me off of him. I didn't fight it, I just glanced around at everyone before picking up the pot and heading out to the river to collect more water while also clearing my mind.

There were never any final straws with Murphy around.

When I returned back to camp the air was thick with tension, and eyes were locked onto me as I prepped the broth for the rabbit meat.

I wasn't sure what Murphy could've told them, and I didn't care, if they chose to believe the cockroach then humanity was doomed.

It only took an hour to get the soup ready, everyone leaving me alone. I hadn't spotted Murphy yet, he wasn't terrorizing anyone, not making his presence known.

Was one threat really all it took to get rid of him?

Once I set up food for everyone I headed towards my shared ten with Raven, exhaustion quickly catching up with me. I had long forgotten about Murphy, the only thing on my mind was a peaceful night's rest.

Entering the tent I shrugged off my shirt, trying to change into a new one when I felt someone grab me from behind, making a yelp rupture from me.

I felt something cold and sharp press against my neck, fear instantly climbing up my spine as I thrashed around. The person's hand went to cover my mouth as he leaned in towards my ear.

"What're you gonna do now?" He whispered threateningly.

I instantly knew who it was, his scent invading my nose in a surprisingly good way. I tried to fight it, the thoughts of how his hands were on me felt good, this was no moment to think about Murphy like this.

He was holding a knife to my throat for fucks sake!

Knowing Murphy I thought he was really going to kill me, I soon felt regret for holding that knife to him.

I stopped thrashing around as it was no use, my breathing became wild as I prepared for the worst.

"Giving in to me so easily?" His hand uncovered my mouth, fingers still touching my lips.

"Suck," He demanded, his tone of voice was strong despite being hushed so nobody would hear.

This was the last thing I'd expect to happen with Murphy.

I couldn't help the lower sensation begin to rise throughout my entire body as I opened my mouth, Murphy's fingers instantly invaded the wet and warm place. I felt fuzzy and vulnerable all over, soon realizing I was enjoying this.

"Good girl," He said, making my thighs clench together, trying to get any type of friction to my clit.

Over time the blade on my neck didn't scare me, the fear turned to pleasure. My lower body became needy, the taste of his fingers being engraved into my mind as I was sucking wildly as if it was Murphy's cock and not just his fingers.

I could sense his smirk after I let out a soft moan, he was enjoying this too. Having me under his control, to do whatever he wanted with me. The thought could've made me cum then and there.

"Remember this next time," He whispered into my ear.

His knife trailed up and down my body, making me shiver at the coldness of the metal.

He suddenly retracted his hands to his sides, making me miss his fingers and the authority he held over me.

I turned around and he was leaving the tent, the taste of his fingers still vivid in my mouth.

I had debated running after him and demanding an explanation but I stood there, starstruck.

It didn't take long for me to snap back into reality, the thoughts I had about Murphy hit me like a train, embarrassment suddenly replacing the feeling before. I tried reminding myself I hated him, but despite everything I told myself, my body longed for his touch once again.

I wasn't sure what possessed me that night, I was sure it'd pass after a night's sleep. But I wasn't even safe in my dreams, his touch followed me everywhere.

Who knew weeks of hate could diminish with a few touches?

Though I still hated him.

I was sure of that.

But I couldn't stop my attraction.

I couldn't stop my mind from roaming in places it shouldn't.

I couldn't.

The only day I wish he annoyed me, he didn't. He would walk right past my butcher table, right by me. As if the previous night hadn't happened, as if his fingers didn't fill my mouth searching every crevice and crease.

Every so often Id catch him stealing glances at me- or at least I thought I did.

But I knew it was true when he was the first in line for breakfast, taking an extra long time to pick out his decision, forcing the tension between us to grow thicker. It was like he was torturing me like he knew just how bad I needed him.

The feeling had become too much for me, I quickly filled the bowls for dinner and rushed off to my tent once again, needing to relieve myself at least a little bit. I knew Raven was working with Monty in the dropship to figure out the wristbands so I had a bit of time to myself.

Rushing into my tent I dropped my pants and threw them onto a nearby chair. I climbed into the makeshift bed and began sucking on my own fingers, trying to mimic Murphy's movements the best I could.

I couldn't believe myself, getting off to the guy I despised with every ounce of my being. The way his middle part looked, how his nose was a bit too big for his face, how dark his blue eyes looked. I imagined every part of him, going back to that night in my mind.

My other hand snaked down to my clothed pussy, rubbing myself through the fabric while a series of moans escaped my occupied lips.

"Murphy..." I let out unrestrained, speeding up my movements.

"Yeah?" I heard someone ask.

My eyes instantly shot open as I scrambled up, staring at the one and only Murphy. How did he keep sneaking in her without me hearing?

He walked closer to me, "Don't let me stop you," He spoke, staring down at me.

I was frozen with shock, unable to process what just happened. How much had he seen? My face must've been a bright red by now.

"Too scared now? I said, Don't let me stop you." His hands found their way to my throat, giving it a light squeeze. I wasn't sure of his motives but I knew, in this moment, I was more turned on than ever.

The grip he had on my throat only turned me on more, now soaking through my panties.

I shakily began rubbing myself through my panties again, my nerves shooting through the roof. The man Id been having fantasies about was now watching me fuck myself.

Murphy swiftly unbuckled his belt and undid his zipper, bringing his hard cock out in front of my face, the sight had me drooling while he smirked down at me.

"Put that practice to good use," He spoke, tapping his tip on my lips, the hand on my throat now running to my hair, grabbing a fist full of it causing me to open my mouth just enough for him to thrust into it. He released a low groan at the initial feeling, the taste of his cock now invading my mouth.

I swirled my tongue around the shaft of his dick while he fucked mercilessly into my mouth, gripping my hair tighter every time to keep me still. With every thrust he hit the back of my throat, sending chills down my entire body.

"Thought you hated me," He said in between grunts, "Now you have my dick in your mouth," His familiar smirk was still planted on his face, he'd never let me live this down.

I felt his dick twitch in my mouth before he pulled out, tear snow streaming down my face.

"Fuck you," I said in between breaths, regaining my composure.

"Yeah, don't worry, you're about to." He took me by the arm and made me lay flat with my ass in the air.

His hands grabbed and slapped at my ass, making me squeak out pathetic moans. Grabbing the waistband of my panties he dragged them down, revealing my soaked pussy.

"You sure you hate me?"

Before I could reply he had already trusted into my pussy, giving me no warning. the sudden filling made my back arch. Murphy threw his head back, relishing the feeling of my tight pussy around his dick.

He didn't let me adjust before he was thrusting deep inside of me, unable to control his urges. The pleasure was unlike anything of felt before, his length made it so easy to hit every spot inside me, spots I'd never even known of.

"I hate you!" I moaned out, I wasn't sure if it was true or not anymore, I just didn't wanna give him the satisfaction of knowing I loved being fucked by him.

"Want me to stop?" He retorted. He knew I didn't want him to stop, so when I didn't answer he grabbed a fist full of my hair again, forcing me to prop my arms up to support myself. The grip on my hair only helped him pound into me further, not giving me any chance to think.

I wasn't just full of Murphy, I was full of hatred. I hated the fact I enjoyed this so much, hated the fact I never wanted it to end, hated the fact he could make me feel this good, hated how much I loved this.

"Fuck, Murphy!" I felt the familiar wave of my climax race up my body, making me shake with pleasure as I came around his dick. This didn't stop Murphy, in fact, it only fueled him more.

"Just let it out," He spoke breathily, my arms felt like they were gonna give out but before they could he pulled my hair, bringing my back to his chest as he held me up. "Let everyone in camp know how good you feel right now,"

His hands snaked up my body to my neck, giving it a tight squeeze, something I never thought I'd be into until Murphy.

"I hate you," I moaned out between cries and breaths, my sweet spot now becoming sensitive as he kept relentlessly fucking me.

"Sure looks like it," He smirked into my shoulder, now beginning to suck and bite as his own climax was nearing the edge.

The grip on my neck was enough to make me cum again, the tightening helping Murphy reach his own high.

Murphy quickly pulled out of me, shooting his load onto the ground of the tent, laying his head in the crook of my neck while he caught his breath. I leaned into his touch while his hands slid up and down my sides, tracing each curve with admiration.

"Same time tomorrow?" He asked muffled.

"Go fuck yourself,"

Despite my words, he knew I wanted it just as bad as he did.

◜♡﹒﹒𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭﹒𝐭𝐚𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭﹒𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

[hihomeghere]

Hello my new favorite creator! I just saw your response to my last request (the soft y/n dom one) and I'm deffo going to formally request you turn it into a story (if you're not doing that already) I've been reading more of your content and it's quickly becoming an addiction 😅 any way I'll be a big supporter from the shadows <333 -🧛 anon (Naming myself lol)

Routine | Five Hargreeves / F!Reader

Part of the Tesoro series (Can be read as a one shot)

Word Count : 2.3k Summary : After the confession, Five and reader head back to a hotel room. Soft dom y/n. Aged up!Five Warnings/Tags : Smut, handjob, masturbation, piv, cursing, fluff at the end, this is filth enjoy <3 ( I do not own the umbrella academy or any of it's characters )

If Five was anything, he was a creature of habit. His father had ingrained that in him from a young age. Chores, training, studies, hell even his meal times were scheduled. His entire life was based on routine. 

Then he was stuck in the apocalypse, and even though there were millions of things Five could be mad at his father about, he had to appreciate his sense for routine. It kept him alive, he still had a set time to eat (if he had anything to eat), but instead of training he was scavenging. Picking through a wasteland for anything edible, along with trying to find a sustainable source of clean water. While picking through for food, he would also collect anything to help conserve his energy. Things like his bike or wagon, etc. His definition of ‘resting’ was mainly anytime he could sit down. During those periods he would work on equations, trying to find a way out of there and back to his family. And although it wasn’t strictly in his routine, mental breakdowns always seemed to weasel their way into his day. 

Thankfully, both of those routines were a thing of the past. Now his routine consisted of reading up on case files before going into the field. He’d kill whoever he had to and afterwards he’d reward himself with fucking his fist until he fell asleep. Did it make him feel a bit disgusted with himself, yes, but masturbation had been the only stress relief he’d ever had. Again, just another one of his constants throughout the years. What he hadn’t accounted for was you. At first he had marked you off as a nuisance. Like the cockroaches that somehow managed to survive alongside Five, although you were much nicer to look at. 

Five knew he was in trouble when he started subconsciously adding your routines into his. You would start getting hungry around 11:30 every day, like clockwork. So he had started planning his lunches for around 11:30, not because the thought of you eating alone made his heart seize in his chest, just to make his work more efficient. It aggravated him to have to wait for you to be finished with your lunch, only for him to get hungry once you returned. So out of convenience, he started eating lunch with you. Little things like that.

He couldn’t exactly say he was surprised. You were always one to throw wrenches in the works. Although he didn’t account for a deviation of this size into his plan. When he kissed you, a silent confession on his feelings, he knew there would be no going back. You were it for him. He loved you and you seemed to share those feelings. Your lips crashed against his as he fumbled with the key to the hotel room. You giggled into the kiss, something so sickly sweet. His hands were back on you as soon as the door swung open. Pulling the key out of the lock and throwing it onto a side table as he kicked the door close behind you. His hands were everywhere, touching and squeezing. Your breasts, oh god, your tits. He couldn’t get enough of them, his hand flew under your blouse, pinching your nipple through your  bra. You gasped softly, your hands threading through his hair. He stopped, admiring your flushed face as he kicked off his shoes. Your lips parted slightly, hot breath fanning across his face, a light splattering of blood across your cheek. 

You pulled away, and he almost whined at the loss of contact. What was happening to him? Did you really have such a hold on him? He was taken back to his younger years, when his father would read from Homer’s Odyssey. He had never paid much attention to the sirens, that was more of Diegos and Luthers interest. He wished he had listened to Circe’s warnings like Odysseus, now he was sure he had met a siren in person. He was bewitched by you, drawn to you like iron to a magnet. Five was sure you were more beautiful than Helen of Troy, hell even Aphrodite would be jealous of your beauty. 

“I’m going to take a shower.” You smiled, pushing him back onto the bed before kissing his cheek. Another one of your routines, always showering after a mission. You made a show of undressing yourself, slowly unbuttoning your blouse. Then shimmying out of your trousers. You hooked your fingers under your bra strap, pulling them down at an agonizing pace. You unhooked your bra, throwing it onto the chair. Five’s eyes never left your body until you were behind the bathroom door. He gulped, his cock painfully pressed against the crotch of his slacks. He hurried to pull himself free, the buckle of his belt clinking metal against metal. He started to get frantic in his movements, unzipping his pants and kicking them off along with his underwear. His cock sprung up against his stomach. He let out a sigh, spitting into his hand. He grabbed himself, lubricating his dick with his spit. At times like this he wondered if was seriously fucked in the head. But normally once he ran his thumb over the slit on his head any negative thoughts would be tucked away. He arched his neck, letting out a shaky breath as he started to stroke himself. His mind wandering to you, always you. “Fuck,” he sighed squeezing the base of his cock. Your flushed face, a blush painting your cheeks. That slutty fucking skirt you wore, tight around your hips, he didn’t know how you got that little thing over your ass. He groaned, his eyes rolling back as he picked up the pace. How your lips felt against his throat as you ordered him to cum, your tits bouncing with each of his thrusts. His hips jolted up into his hand, he craved more, his other hand gently cupped his balls. He was close, his breath getting caught in his throat. “Y/n.” He whined, his eyes fluttering close.

“Starting without me?” You asked leaning on the doorway to the bathroom. Clad in only a towel, tightly wrapped around your body. He froze, caught red handed with his pants down. Fuck he was so close. He tugged on himself, chasing after his high as it slowly slipped away. You stopped him, swatting his hand away from his dick. “Excuse me?” You scoffed, your arms crossed above him. You stared down at him, his chest rising and falling rapidly. 

“What?” He asked, his eyebrows knitting together. You grabbed his face, your fingers pressing his lips together, his skin dimpling under your grip. His breath hitched, his eyes going wide. “Y/n, what are you doing?” He said through squished lips.

“You started without me.” You repeated, a wolfish grin spreading across your face. He scoffed, rolling his eyes. You turned his face so he was looking at you, his green eyes wide. He let out a surprised sound, “Now, would you like to finish?” You asked with a commanding voice. His eyes flicked all over your face. 

“Y-yes.” He stuttered, his adam’s apple bobbing as he swallowed. You let go of his face, walking backwards until the back of your knees hit the plush chair. You sank down onto the chair, slowly undoing your towel, letting it pool around your body. 

He stared at you, his eyebrows still furrowed. You chuckled to yourself, his expression taking you back to the first night you spent together. So unsure of himself, his hands twitched against the sheets. His dick stood at attention, brushing against his white shirt. His angry red tip made a wet spot on his shirt. 

“Take off your shirt first,” you said, leaning back in the chair, spreading your legs. It was like he had been frozen until your command. His eager fingers moved to his shirt, unbuttoning the buttons quickly. He tore it off of him, throwing it onto the floor. He turned to you for his next instructions, a newfound glint in his eye. “You can touch yourself.” You cooed, immediately his hand wrapped around his cock. Stroking himself with fever, he wet his bottom lip, his hips jolting against his fist. Five was so pretty like this, not that he wasn’t a gorgeous man, but he was so vulnerable. Pride bloomed in your chest knowing that you were the only one allowed to see Five like this. His head fell back, giving you a gorgeous view of his neck. He let out a strangled whine, his lips parting. You sat up, unable to help yourself. You stalked towards him, your hands holding his shoulders. Your lips attacked his neck, nipping and sucking on his neck. Dark spots adorning his pale skin.

“Fuck,” he moaned, leaning into your touch. You reached down, pulling his hand away. He let out a frustrated whine, biting his lip as he stared into your eyes. You smiled sweetly, kissing his cheek over his two freckles, before squeezing his shaft. You began to pump him harshly, sucking a deep mark on his collarbone. His hands flew to your hips, holding them with a vice like grip. “I’m gonna cum.” He said through his gritted teeth, “please let me cum.” He squeezed your hips, his fingers digging into your soft skin.

“You can cum baby,” You chuckled, licking a stripe up his neck. He cried out his hips jolting against your hand as ropes of cum shot out onto your fist. You grinned, working him through his orgasm. A pained expression painting his features. As he came down from his high, he softly rubbed circles onto your hips. 

“That was…” He trailed off clearing his throat, his hands drifting upwards on his body. You giggled, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, pulling him flush against your body.

“Never would have guessed Mr. Five Hargreeves would be so obedient.” You laughed, kissing him. He pulled away from the kiss.

“Are you trying to get a rise out of me y/n?” He said, cocking his head slightly. A smug smile spread across his face, his eyes darkened. You felt like the prey instead of the predator under his gaze.

“I would never dream of it.” You smirked, feeling him get hard against your stomach. “Already?” You chuckled, rolling your eyes. 

“I can’t help that I have the most gorgeous girl in front of me, naked.” He mused, raising his eyebrows. You pushed him back, his back hitting the mattress with a soft thud. He smirked, propping himself up on his elbows. You crawled on top of him, setting yourself over his waist. He leaned his head forward, his lips covering your right breast. You lowered yourself onto him, moaning as he pushed through your opening. He let out a pained cry against your breast. 

“Are you alright?” You asked, stalling your movement.

“Mmm,” he hummed, his eyes shut tight, his hands gripping your hips, stilling any movements you would make. “Just sensitive, tesoro.” He chuckled looking up at you through his heavy eyelashes. You grinned, you wanted nothing more than to have Five under you a blubbering mess. And you were gonna have it. 

You rolled your hips against him, his fingers digging into the soft skin of your hips. He let out a choked gasp, his head falling back against the bed.

“You like that baby?” You asked, dragging your hips up and down against him. 

“Fuck yes.” He whined, arching his back off the bed, wrapping his arms around your waist and burying his head into your chest. You rocked back and forth, Five’s fingernails dragging down your back. You moaned, pushing him back against the bed. You leaned back, propping yourself up on his thighs as you jutted your hips forward again and again. That familiar coil tightening in your stomach. “F-fuck.” He cried, his hips jolting against your pelvis, his pubic hair rubbing at your clit. His eyes shone with unshed tears as he bit his lip, his hands gripping the sheets beneath you. 

“You feel so good, you make me feel so good Five.” You huffed, struggling to keep up your pace. He whimpered a tear falling down his cheek. Suddenly his body jolted, his hands gripping your waist holding you down onto his hips as he came with a cry. You grinned against him, reaching your own orgasm. You moaned, high pitched and breathy as his cock twitched inside you. His cum painting your walls as you clenched down on him

“Christ woman.” He sighed, his arm covering his eyes. You pulled away his arm, wiping away a stray tear.

“Glad to be of service.” You asked sweetly, kissing his cheek before pecking his lips. You slowly got off of his lap, his softened cock slipping out of you. You laid down beside him, lightly trailing your fingers over his chest. He wraps his arm around you, pulling you closer. Your head laying on his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart against your ear. 

“I love you.” He says, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Are you thinking of someone else?” You tease, staring up at him through your lashes. 

“No.” He says, rolling his eyes feigning annoyance. He sits up, you prop yourself up on your arm. “I’m serious,” he cups your face, “I love you so goddamn much.” He says kissing you. You were sure you had died and gone to heaven. His hand against your face, with his soft slightly bruised lips against yours. You sighed into the kiss, feeling like a love sick teenager.

“I love you.” You giggled wrapping your arms around his neck, “I love you, I love you.” You kissed the corner of his lips, his cheek, his forehead. He chuckled softly, as you met his eyes. “I love you Five Hargreeves.” You whispered, resting your forehead against his.

“And I you.” He smiled. Five would happily add anything pertaining to you into his routine any day. 

[puffyducks]

Puffy's Really Comprehensive and Cool Review of PK Out of the Shadows for the PS2 (not emulated guys I didn't emulate it I bought a really legal copy for my PlayStation 2 console that I own)

Ok guys I just did a really epic playthrough of the Paperinik video game (that was streamed on Discord thank you to everyone who watched me scream and struggle for like 6 hours) and I'm here to give a review for the other PK fans or perhaps even people who really like playing old niche PS2 games for some reason (get a better hobby)

First of all this game gets a 10/10 rating from me because this game has Paperinik in it and there are no other games with Paperinik in them.

Paperinik's English name is "the Duck Avenger" but I guess there was too much PK logo branding in this game for them to bother to change it so they kept his name as just PK and tried to explain it by saying it stood for "really cool duck" or something in Latin. Which I'm pretty sure was just a fucking lie.

I'm really happy that Uno was there, I love him and he's my best friend even tho he was FUCKING USELESS like this whole game. Sorry he just kinda grabs Donald, turns him into a superhero, then throws him into an Evronian base with 0 explanation and is like "go kill" and like who am I to say no to the giant floating orb?? Like he gave me a gun which is really nice but I'm out here getting fucking jumped by the Evronian empire and Uno isn't even there to cheer me on or NOTHING. He only occasionally shows up to explain when you get a weapon upgrade like FUCKING DO SOMETHING UNO THEY'RE BEATING MY ASSSSS

The little collectibles are just tiny floating Uno heads so that also gets a 10/10 from me I really enjoyed running around and collecting my army of Uno PNGs. The SECOND collectible however- Ok so there are like these scientists that are tied up by the Evronians and you're supposed to save them right? Well for whatever reason (they don't really explain why this is happening) every time you get close to a scientist it starts a big menacing countdown in the corner and you're supposed to save them before the timer goes down or else THEY JUST FUCKING DIE?? I THINK?? LIKE I SAID THEY DON'T EXPLAIN IT SO I CAN'T REALLY TELL WHAT'S HAPPENING, BUT IF THE TIMER GOES DOWN AND YOU REACH THEM TOO LATE THERE'S JUST LIKE A PILE LEFT BEHIND FROM WHERE THEY USED TO BE, I THINK THEY GET FUCKING VAPORIZED OR SOMETHING? AND LIKE I WAS REALLY BAD AT SAVING THEM BECAUSE I GET REALLY STRESSED WHEN THE TIMER STARTS. I HAVE SO MUCH BLOOD ON MY HANDS. anyways.

I like totally didn't get stuck on the same section for 10 minutes because I kept comedically sliding PK directly into a big pool of evil pink goo. Like evil Evron goo I guess, don't remember THAT from the comics. If you so much as touch it with your little pinkie toe he dies instantly, it's very troubling. Like I said um that didn't happen to me though because I'm really good at video games. Idk if you knew I'm level 102 on Wizard101 which is like pretty high. Like it's not max level I'm pretty sure max level is like 180 right now but it's still cool I'm still cool and also really good at video games.

Oh yeah also something that was really amusing to me is the way that PK is just fucking Stanced Up the entire game. Like he's always kinda menacingly crouching and shuffling around everywhere he goes like a little superhero cockroach. Love him.

Can't believe I haven't mentioned this sooner but for the English dub of this game (which is what I was using because I am, in fact, an English speaker) they made the huge brained decision to get Rob Paulsen to do Donald's "superhero" voice. Rob Paulsen of course from Yakko Warner fame... and Steelbeak 1991. Donald sounds goofy as shit the whole game it lowkey kills me. I guess they assumed people wouldn't wanna sit through his regular scratchy voice for however many hours of gameplay but trust me, I would WAY prefer regular Donald over the weird 90s protagonist Crash Bandicoot wannabe thing he has going on. Uno sounds great tho, zero complaints.

At one point PK walks out of the level and he's like "haha who knew this superhero stuff would be so easy!" and I took that as a deep and personal insult. That was not easy Donald I was fighting for my fucking life in there. You have like 13 bullet wounds and I dropped you into Evron goop like 6 different times. Stop making me look bad.

I got stuck standing around like a fucking idiot for 10 minutes because I got an upgrade for the X-transformer and Uno was like "you see that hole? Go over and press □ to send the X-transformer through it!" and I was like oh ok. Except there was no hole I couldn't find the hole. I was only able to progress past this part because I pulled up a youtube video of someone else playing the game, and the guy in the video ALSO proceeded to get stuck in the same spot before realizing you have to backtrack to find the hole like 15 feet away from where Uno gave you the instructions. I can't tell if it's bad game design or if I'm just stupid.

I'm ngl I got to the end and heard Zondag start talking and he lowkey sounds hot as fuck. I mean WOAH that's crazy who said that??? (he's also British for some reason)

Wrapping up my final thoughts with some simple questions:

Does this game have Paperinik in it?

Yes.

Is it a good game?

No.

What's the best part about the game?

Uno is in it.

What's the worst part about the game?

Everything else.

Would you have been able to beat this as a child?

Absolutely not.

Why did they think it would be a good idea to get Rob Paulsen to do the voice of PK for the majority of the game?

Hell if I know???

Would you recommend this game to other people?

Probably not.

It took me a total of 6-ish hours to beat the game (it can be beaten in like 2 hours I'm just slow) but in that amount of time you could read PKNA chapter #34 "Nothing Personal" like 6 times which I think would be a way better experience.

Anyways like I said 10/10, would maybe think about playing again. On like a really depressing rainy day where I have literally nothing else to do.

[tattycoram]

Rex: Why the hell are there blaster marks everywhere? Echo: There was a cockroach Rex: And? Fives: AND IT FUCKING STARTED FLYING TOWARDS ME

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Summery: You come across something you never expected.

(A.n: Buckle up everyone, cause this and the next chapter are going to be a little dark. I swear crack and fluff are on their way!)

Tw: Murder, details of murder,animal death and blood

CH-5 : Could this day get any worse?

You slowly walked up to the spider, examining it. The spider was also looking at you with its..mismatched eyes? Are spiders supposed to have mismatched eyes? The spider was almost as big as your plam. It had a pink heart shaped fur on its back.'Huh, that's cute..' you thought. You still weren't a big fan of spiders. Though nor did you like to kill them. "I'll...just leave you be for now I guess?" You said while awkwardly scratching your neck. You didn't want to risk getting it outside for it to jump on you. Having the cockroach jump on you was enough for one day. As long as it didn't do any funny stuff, you should be fine right?

You walked back to your chair, Keeping a cautious eye on the spider. Part of you believed looking at it intimidatingly will make it fear you and not come close. As you sat on the chair, you could almost swear the spider rolled it's eyes at your antics but you were probably just imagining it.

"Alrighty then..time to get to work!" You said to yourself. You decided to put some songs as your background music while you worked. Picking up your phone, you started the first song that came up, which was 'Inside of every demon is a rainbow' from hazbin hotel.

You found out about Hazbin Hotel about a few months ago and it has been living rent free in your head since then. Luckily enough, it's first season will air in a couple weeks and you absolutely couldn't wait to watch it. You adored the whole crew, especially alastor. You were kind of a simp for him to be completely honest. You also listened to hunicast's past hazbin hotel live streams too. They absolutely made you lose your shit from laughing sometimes and sometimes made you melt like a puddle with their flirting. You sorta could understand Ashley's pain. You were sad that you didn't find the live streams sooner.

You started to work while humming with the song. This time you had to edit some drafts about a murderer on loose that's terrorising everyone recently. His name was apparently Elias Adler. He was in 26-29 year old range. He had long blonde hair, and bags under his blue eyes. He also had a piercing on his ear. Police hasn't been able to catch him yet. But they did manage to catch one of his accomplices. They learnt about his name from there.

Unfortunately they couldn't get any other information out of him since Elias wouldn't share any personal information with them. Police suspected the guy was just a another tool for him to get what he wanted. He has committed 16 confirmed murders till now. They were able to identify the murders being done by him due to how violent the scenes were. Bloods and guts everywhere, head half separated from the torso, multiple stab wounds and more.

Police were close to catching him one time. But he slipped them, though it cost him a bullet in his left arm. He was last seen about a couple of kilometres away in a town from where you are currently. Police are searching everywhere currently to catch this man. Police promised large amounts of money if anyone could give them any clue about this man. You sighed, people could be so rotten sometimes in this world....you prayed from the bottom of your heart for this man to be caught as soon as possible.

Somewhere,a man inside a van sneezed as he was patching up his wounds. "For fucks sake, I don't need to catch cold right now" he cursed.

As you started to edit the next topic of your work. You failed to notice all the animals inside the room freaking out about the song you blasted .'How..how is this possible..' Charlie whispered as she heard her song from her recent interview come up. Never in her whole life she expected her song to be played on earth.

Others were freaking out too. Vaggie quickly flew in front of your phone to check what was going on. 'Is this us...? Why do we look so.. cartoony? This is from 'Hazbin Hotel?? How do they know what we are working with??' Vaggie screamed. 'Does that mean people are spying on us??' Niffty asked. 'But hey this could be good guys! What if we convinced them that we are actually these demons. Then she could help us figure something out right?' Charlie said with hope.

'And ya think this girl will take kindly to know that she has four demons under her roof? Hah, that's the fastest way for us to get kicked out toots' Angel snickered from the back. 'Although I hate to admit it, Angel is right about it hon.' Vaggie said flying back to Charlie. 'She would just get freaked out more. We need more time to decide what to do. Especially since somehow we are... cartoon characters on earth. She might not believe us'

Charlie looked at you humming and singing her song with delight, then back at Vaggie. 'I..suppose you're right.. let's wait to see where this goes!' Charlie said with enthusiasm. Though a part of Charlie's heart felt a bit warm seeing you liking her song so much, especially since how she was treated for the song after the interview.

You worked about 2 hours before you decided it was time to take a break. Taking a big stretch, you closed your laptop and stood up to make a cup of coffee. You let out a yelp to find out that all the animals are standing right beside your chair together, except the puppy. You didn't even notice when the spider came down and sat beside your chair. You carefully tip toed around the spider, not wanting to set it off and went to the kitchen.

After taking your coffee and spending your time doing random stuff, it was already afternoon. You decided it would be nice to go out for a walk. Also the sheep could use some fresh grass to eat from outside.

You packed some snacks in a bag and also your drawing pad in case you felt like drawing outside. Then your eyes came into contact with your pocket knife and a pepper spray in the drawer. You used to keep them just to be safe while walking around alone in town at night. You wondered if you should take them. After thinking for a bit, you shrugged, why not, better safe than sorry, even kinda in the middle of nowhere.

Wearing your bag, you picked up the puppy and called out to your ewe as you opened the door. The ewe came running after you. The moth came too and again sat on your head. You locked your door and looked at the ewe only to find the spider was sitting on its fur. You walked around for a bit and then sat on a side of a field and watched while the sheep and the puppy were running and playing with each other. A small smile came to your lips as you picked up your tab to draw a quick sketch of the adorable sight in front of you.

Suddenly a cat approached the puppy and the sheep, mewing loudly. They both stopped playing and started to listen to it. Within seconds they rushed to you. The puppy started to bite and drag your pants leg.

"Ow,hey,hey, what's going on?" You said standing up. The puppy barked at you and ran a bit ahead and stopped to look at you. You took it as a sign that it wanted you to follow something. You began to follow the puppy who was now running alongside an old looking cat. You were weirded out of your mind but decided to push it away, what if the puppy found its owner and wanted to show you. After walking through the woods for some time, both the cat and the puppy stopped in front of a large bush. The puppy started growling and the cat started hissing. The sheep which was following you stopped behind you too. It was like they all sensed some kinda danger in front of them.

Giving them a worried glance you walked in front, pushing the bush out of your way, you came across a sight you never expected to see in a million years.

There was the big deer from before. Now its body was painted with red and had a lot of wounds. In its antlers were some pink gooey looking things covered in blood that you guessed were the guts of some of the wolves that were lying in the ground right now. It looked tired and almost ready to give out at any moment. The ground around them was splattered with blood as well. There were only two wolves left standing. One of the wolves was closing in on the deer, while the other locked eyes with you and started coming your way.

You could feel your heart beat out of your chest as you clutched your bag tightly. How the hell did you fall into this situation??

(A.N: In any case you guys don't know hunicast, I highly recommend checking it out!! Especially to alastor simps, check out hunicast's alastorcast, I promise you won't regret it~)

Master list

[polyamorouspunk]

The queerphobia will not drive me to “move back to a blue state” because guess what, there’s going to be queerphobia everywhere, this is not unique to red states.

What IS unique to red states, however, is the FUCKING COCKROACHES and THAT might make me “move back to a blue state” because FUCK THIS.

[gimmeurmoneyagh]

𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐦𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐧𝐧𝐚 - 𝟎:𝟎𝟒

❝𝟏𝟔𝟎𝟎 𝐲𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐜𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐲 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭, 𝐄𝐠𝐲𝐩𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐧 𝐫𝐨𝐲𝐚𝐥𝐭𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐞 𝐬𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭❞

- Cleo De Nile

“There really isn’t anything,“ Crowley thought out loud paging a book, while you just awkwardly stood up watching him read book after book.

“Not only on the world map, but the name of your home isn’t written in any history book!“ He dramatized, crossing his arms over hischets while laying back in a seat. (where did that come from?)

“Are you truly from there? This is not some sort of lie or jest?“

You quickly shook your head for a ’no’ before clearing your throat, “Um, no way. It couldn’t because why would I lie to you about where I’m from?“ 

He hums, smiling a bit (sadist) “Looking at all this, you may have somehow been brought here from another planet...There’s also the possibility that you’re from another world“ He frowns at the bad news he ’found’ out.

You felt yourself barely being restrained from rolling your eyes and saying something crude about him.

“Another world no way! I couln’t possibly have thought that!“ You (fake-)gasped holding your hands in front of your face. “Completely right!“ Crowley nodded along, ignoring your sarcasm. You gave him a dirty look wishing for your cursed amulets and totems (again).

“Now... I ask you, what did you have on you when you came here“ He demanded putting his hands on his hips. “Do you have any indentification, like a license for a magic car, name or a shoe? You seem quite... empty-handed.“

“Did you just call me poor?“ You seethed, his sockets glanced down at you. His way too bright yellow eyes zeroed in on you and you bit your tongue hard to not say anything (else) stupid.

You rummage through the pockets of the robe you were wearing cringing when you found dust in it and nothing else ’NO NOT YOUR I-COFFIN NOT YOUR CREDIT CARDS! NOOOO’. You sigh “Nothing,“

“I can’t just let someone with no magic to join this school!“ He puts a finger to his chin and seems to... weep?! Nope, nope, nope, you need to leave this place immediatly.

“However, as an educator, I can’t just toss some penniless teenager out on the street with no form of communication! Why, that would be just inhumane!“ Your dad has done it before why can’t he? You do not want to be at this stinky, full of teen boy hormones school. “For I am gracious😼!“

How did he say that emoji out lou-.

OH.

MY.

RAH.

"....."

"....😼😼"

"What the fuck is this?"

You sneer at him, cocking your eyebrow. 

The dorm looked like it was about to fall apart. There was dust everywhere, and... OH MY RAH A COCKROACH. 

You sprinted away from it, moving farther from the dorm. Maybe if you ran right now, you could leave this hellhole. No offence to any demons living there, of course. 

He hums, "Right Right," He waves off your words "Come inside!"

"NO?!" You look up at him, he should not be treating a De Nile like this!

He doesn't seem to care, as he pushes you inside.

"Staying here will at least keep you out of the rain!" He smiles, before patting your back. Which you tried to move out of the way quickly.

"I'm going back to do more research! Make yourself at home! Oh! And don't go wandering around the school. Byyyyyyyeee!!"

And then he hightails it out, Bitchhh... You didn't want to stay at this clearly unsafe dorm.

RUMBLE.

You quickly moved out the of the way, and surely enough a peice of the ceiling fell on the spot you were standing on.

"Great..."

You grimaced, why were you here? You couldn't possibly deserve this! No way! Now how!

Ewwww. The dust looked like snow, if Abby was here could she control it?

Actual question.

You decided to look outside after an hour of moving around and trying not to get your outfit dirty.

It was raining.

You weren’t going to survive here, the rain fell through some of open patches of the ceiling.

“Hyiiii! It’s really coming down!“ Wait... Is that... No. NO. You won’t accept this.

You turned around slowly. It was.

It was that stupid-ass, furry expirement, social deformity... Wait what’s it’s name again. Grahh? Gross? Giles? No no, Gael!

“Gyahaha! You’ve got this stupid look on your face like a spider being attacked by a water gun!“

He put his paws(hand? you don’t care) on his hipbone and grinned stupidly while laughing loudly.

You sneered down at him. Oh my Rah...

“At this point I’ll have no trouble sneaking back into school. Come on, come on!“ He starts giggling at you, BITCH.

You don’t usually get your hands dirty with trash but you may do it now...

“If you think getting thrown out is gonna make me give up on getting in you’ve got another thing coming!“ 

“Can you please shut up.“

It seems to be caught off guard, “Wha-..“

“Oh right! You probably can’t understand me with how small and underdeveloped your brain is. If you even have one...“

You begin to laugh at the creature, “You know I can call security right now?“ You leer down at him. “So if you don’t want to get kicked out right now, you better give me a good fucking reason for me to not.“

It starts to sweatdrop and it starts to open it’s mouth... When you cut it off, “Ew. You actually thought I was serious. SECURITY!!“

You cup your hands over your mouth to make it sound a bit louder.

“HUH?! Aren’t you humans supposed to be sympathetic or-or really kind to people?“

It snivels on the ground and is it paws your pants.

You were seriously going to pummel it with a crowbar.

“Blah blah blah.“ You wave it off. “But could you seriouslystop scratching up my pants?!“

“No!“ It had an angry expression on it’s face. So you kicked it.

You are not a bad person. He’s just making you angry!

“I’m a genius who’s destined to be a great magician! You can’t do this to me!“ 

He cries over at the corner you kicked him too.

“I don’t care?!“ You place your hand on your hip, disgusted by the bullshit it was spewing.

“Why do you even want to go to this school? It seems pretty shitty“ You ask, pretending to be interested and actually caring.

“It’s simple!! I’m an amazing mage, and deserve to be treated as one!“ It puffs out it’s chest in pride before it begins looking sorry for itself.

“But-but..“ But! But!

“Hmph! The Dark Mirror just doesn’t have any time for talent!“ Sure... Even though the Dark Mirror insulted you, you understand why it didn’t invite it.

“So that’s why I came here on my own! 😼😼😼!“ It stands on it’s bottom legs and stares up at you as if asking for praise. Which you weren’t going to give. Pathetic.

“Not letting me in would be a loss for the entire world! 😢😢! Humans just don’t get it.“ 

“I am not a normie! How much do I have to tell you?“ You roll your eyes, wondering how stupid a monster can get. ’Cause he was clearly a monster. 

Water from the ceiling started to leak more aggresively, you look up. Huh... Someone should do something about this. Because you definetly weren’t.

“Brrr! So cold! The roof is leaking“ It shivers curling up and rubbing (not in that way broski) against your feet acting like you didn’t just kick it across the room.

You look down at it in disdain, wishing for Father’s credit card again because the filthy creature dirtied your new shoes!

“FNGYAH! It just keeps pouring! My adorable ear fire is gonna go out at this rate!“ It mumbled, trying to gain warmth from you. You isghed and picked it up, and cuddled it.

You lightly flick it’s forehead with a monotone expression, “I’ll try to find some buckets to contain the water you can just stay near me“

You shrug, you may dislike it but you’re not a villain and would never wish that a monster would lose something clearly valuable to itself. 

Except Torelai, Torelai can go fuck herself.

[darling-heffron]

Hope you are enjoying the story so far! Let us know if you would like to be added to the taglist so you never miss an update!

Esra✨

Taglist: @malarkgirlypop, @mellow-human, if anyone else wants to join please let us know!

Chapter Three: Peace in Solitude

Sam POV:

Rotters, stinkers, prowlers, biters, the dead, the hordes, whatever you wanted to call them, they were everywhere. They infested the land like cockroaches, in the millions, in large groups, in small, by themselves, they had covered the entire east coast in a matter of days and they were slowly moving west. 

It had started a couple of days prior to Sam’s encounter, being secluded from the outside world in the base had stopped the reports from coming in. Everyone in that compound was clueless to the chaos that was happening around them, not knowing it was coming straight for them. 

After the attack Sam had run all the way into town, well what was left of it. The town was in disarray, buildings on fire as well as cars in the street, pile ups in the middle of the roads. The rabid people walking the streets gurgling and groaning just like the driver who had attacked her. 

The blonde had watched in horror as a woman sprinted from her hiding spot and into the road, screaming at the top of her lungs as she did so, not far behind a biter on her tail. 

Sam witnessed the mass of rabid people turn to the noise, they were quick to action. The woman had been swarmed and sucked under by the crowd of biters, she could hear the tearing of flesh and wails of pain from where she hid. The crowd slowly dissipated as the woman’s cries grew quiet, they left her, wandering back to the street aimlessly. 

The young girl covered her mouth as the lady began to writhe on the floor, her limbs twitching and jerking until she sprung up, eyes bloodshot as red tears dripped down her face. The now familiar noises sounded from her mouth, gurgles and groans.  

Sam didn’t want to believe it, surely it was some bad fucked up dream. But from everything she had seen, she couldn’t deny the truth any longer, the world had been overrun with zombies.

It sounded so fucking stupid to say out loud, but there was no other explanation, it was the only way to describe what was happening. 

Sam looted and stole. She raided any store she could find. The blonde stocked up on everything, going into supermarkets, clothing stores, and even the museum. She had packed her bag when she left the base knowing she was going to spend at least a good week living out of it. 

In the bag she had: ammo, fresh clothes, food, a water bladder that was still full, a tent, her sleeping bag, a map, a compass, flashlight, and a first aid kit. 

She was able to gather more food and bottled water, socks, thermals, underwear, and she had stolen weapons from the museum. 

Two axes, sheathed knives and a machete, listen, she wanted to be prepared. She still had her army rifle, tactical knife and her trusty boot knife that she had bought herself for her 21st birthday.

Sam was prepared, yes, but for once in her life she didn’t have a plan. She was aimlessly wandering, her only mission to be away from the hoards. 

The girl found that the cities and towns were where they gathered the most like a swarm; they ambled together waiting for some poor thing to stumble into their path. She watched them intently for the first few days trying to wrap her head around what exactly they were.

They were human, but not. 

The rabids held the body of her fellow peers but they didn’t act the same, never in her life had she ever seen anyone so unnatural. Their bodies moved in awkward ways as they staggered around, their animalistic noises sent shivers up her spine. 

In the first few nights she didn’t sleep. The adrenaline never seemed to wear off, and as soon as she was coming down, something else would trigger it, sending her panicking again. 

With no plan, Sam was unsure of where she needed to head. Did she leave? But where? Was there anywhere safe at all? 

Many of these questions were left unanswered, no power, no cell reception, nothing, Sam had never felt more out of control. 

The rabid’s moved slowly during the night, Sam tried to use this to her advantage. But it was more dangerous than she had thought. 

With the city being in ruins it was hard to make her way through in the pitch black. Sam found that though the hoards were slower, it didn’t stop them from hearing every little movement she made. 

Rule number one; Never move in the dark. 

Sam noted her first rule, though the cover of night was alluring it wasn’t worth the risk.

She laid out her map, scanning the area, Belchertown was where she was currently, the next closest city was Amherst. 

Sam noticed she hadn’t seen another living person since she had been in the small town. 

Guessing that most of the population was now roaming the streets ready to tear the throats out of any survivors they found. 

Maybe in the bigger city she would be able to find people, someone who knew something, who had answers to her questions. 

Sam was set on Amherst. The walk didn’t seem too long or treacherous. She was sure she had walked further during her tours overseas in full tactical gear, this would be easy. As long as she avoided all rabid’s she would be able to make it in one piece.    

The blonde made it to the small city alive. 

Away from civilization in the woods and rural roads she saw little to no rabid’s. 

Sam was able to make it to Amherst by day four. Low in stock, she was ready to gather what she needed again. 

The young woman stepped through the already smashed window of the supermarket, the shelves were nearly bare. Cans and food had been strewn around the place, from the looks of things people were grabbing items as quickly as they could before fleeing. 

She walked through the aisle picking up anything that seemed of use, tampons, bottled water, cans of food, matches, lighter, medicine and everything else that she could shove in her bag. 

“Hey!” A voice called from behind her, she froze. After not hearing another person’s voice for four days it felt odd to hear one again.

“Hands up, turn around!” The voice instructed her. Sam could tell by their tone they were trying to be stern, but the small waver in their voice was noticeable. 

Sam did as instructed, lifting her hands above her head and slowly turning to face the person.

She spun to see a man taller than her, his eyes weary and sunken, his hair peppered with grey. He pointed a gun at her chest, but Sam saw the tremble in his hands. The man had clearly never used the weapon, and he didn’t seem all too keen on doing so. 

“We don’t want any trouble!” The man spoke again, Sam couldn’t help but scoff at his statement. He straightened, readjusting his grip on the gun.

“You don’t want any trouble? You’re pointing a gun at my chest, and I’m clearly not armed, so who’s causing trouble?” Sam asked the man. Her no bullshit attitude often got her in trouble at school, but she couldn’t help it. 

The man looked at his weapon and then back at Sam, a displeased look across her face, as if she was bored of being held up. She had places to be and more important things to do. 

“If you could hurry it up.” Sam said again, rushing the man.

“Oh, uh, sorry.” He lowered his gun, flicking on the safety and tucking it into the waistband of his pants. 

“We haven’t seen anyone normal in a while.” The man excused his behaviour, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. 

“Yeah, well, we are in a fucking zombie apocalypse.” Sam stated nonchalantly. 

“No, normal people too. They are just crazy, seems like everyone's morals have flown out the window.” The dark haired man explained. 

“What do you mean?” Sam inquired, she needed to leave and wanted this man to get to the point, if he held her up for no reason she was going to be mad. 

“Well, there was this group of men who stopped us and threatened to kill us if we didn’t give them all of our supplies. So we did, they stripped us of everything.” The man described the events that had taken place. 

“So why are you holding me up?” Sam was getting tired of this, he needed to get to the point quickly. 

“Well I saw you pick up some medication.” Sam raised her eyebrows, as if to say, ok and?

“My daughter’s sick.” The man’s eye flicked over his shoulder. From behind the shelf a woman and young child stepped into view. 

“What type of sick?” Sam asked, her hand twitching wanting to be placed on the gun at her hip. 

“Not that sickness! She has a medical condition, she’s in a lot of pain due to it. We can trade you-” The dark haired man tried to barter. But Sam reached into her bag pulling out the bottle of analgesic medication and tossing it to the man. He looked at her shocked, not quite believing that she had so easily given it up.

“Next time just get to the point.” Sam said, turning on her heel and tossing her now full bag onto her back. 

“Where are you headed?” The man asked, Sam looked over her shoulder sighing. The girl moved to face the man again since he started talking again.  

“Not sure. You know of anywhere safe?” Sam asked, the woman and the small girl came closer to the man’s side. The young girl hid behind the leg of her father, peeking around to look up at Sam. Her big brown eyes were wide, a faint smile crossed her lips before she hid again. 

“There has been talks of a safe haven going up in Idaho, around Boise they say. That’s where we’re heading.” The dark haired man told her.

“The army base?” Sam knew of the other reserves based around the country and there was one close to the small town of Boise. 

“Yes, there.” The man confirmed. 

Sam cursed, would they even allow her in if she deserted? 

A lightbulb went off in her head, no one saw her leave and when she was back in the base everyone had been attacked. 

There would be no confirmation of her leaving, she hadn’t been caught. She could go there and seek safety with no questions asked and being the daughter of a high ranking General they were sure to let her in. 

“Sounds like a good plan.” Sam said out loud. 

“Would you like to come with us? Since we are all going to the same place?” The tired looking man asked a little too eagerly. The wife nodded her head as well. 

They wanted more protection. They looked like a normal family, one that wouldn’t know much about surviving in the wilderness or using weapons. 

Sam never saw herself as privileged in her experience, she never thought she would use them in her everyday life. Now that the world had come to this, she was more experienced than most people. 

“I don’t move in groups.” Sam stated, watching their faces drop.

“Are you sure?” The wife now spoke, stepping forward. Her eyes wide, as her hands found the small shoulders of her daughter clinging on tightly. Sam flicked her eyes back to their faces, she felt bad for them, but that didn’t mean she was going to join them.

“I’m sure.” Sam finally said, they sighed at her response, giving tight smiles to pretend they were stronger.    

“Well, I wish you the best then. Goodluck.” The husband said, turning on his heel to usher the rest of the group out of the dilapidated store. The wife followed behind but the young girl stayed put, gazing up at Sam. 

“Goodbye.” The young child whispered. Sam gave a small smile, watching the young girl run after her parents that waited for her by the door. The girl turned one last time, using the small teddy bear she clutched to wave goodbye. Sam sent her a small wave before making her way out onto the street. 

She finally had a plan.

A/N:

Ok so our girl Sam has a plan, hehe that rhymes. She's a bitch but she's not heartless. I think if I was in this AU I would be a rabid, I feel like I would be killed almost immediately, but maybe it would be fun to be a zombie. I would really perfect my groans, be super scary, or maybe like a comedic relief zombie, like I look funny, or I walk funny. Idk, I surely wouldn't be on Sam's level that's for sure.