#coach vox

[voxhypno]

NEW FILE RELEASE!

"New Year, New U"

So often, the prevalent New Year's resolution is to get into or stay in shape. However, it's not always easy to find that motivation on your own, which is why Coach Vox has come out with a new file designed to keep any ditzy, drooly, dummy himbo toys fit and brainwashed in the new year.

File is exclusive to my Patreon. Make sure to pledge your unwavering obedience support if you want additional content, like mantra files and secret messages for only the most eager of followers.

Contains themes of brainwashing, repetition, brain drain, obedience, arousal, and fitness/muscle gain! As a bonus, this is my first specifically M4M file I've ever done, so I'd love to hear feedback on it!

Originally written as a commission!

[boogieboba]

the way i wish winter guard was more widespread so it could be an olympic sport—

[elkaseltzer]

"Was Jacques-Louis David in Hell? Could he be commissioned to paint 'The Death of the Radio Demon' in place of Marat?"

maybe he cant BUT I CAN!!!!!!!!!

jk this is a gift not a com

based off of part 8 of We Should've Been Enemies by @soot-and-salt

[amphibiahawks321]

Vox : .....

Vox : VELVET!! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!

Velvette : Oh my shit! WHAT!

Vox : Who the hell is that?!

[Shows Y/N sitting on a couch reading a book while waving at Vox and Velvet]

Velvette : Oh that's Y/N

Vox : and may I ask WHO exactly is Y/N!

Velvette : Geez what Remote crawled up your ass? His my boyfriend

Vox : you can't just bring your boyfriend to the V tower! This place isn't a hangout!

Velvette : you see the problem here Vox is that I don't give a fuck...

[Velvette walked up to the coach and started chatting with Y/N]

M!Reader : This place is absolutely awesome Vel!'

Velvette : I know right!!'

[storm-angel989]

HOW WOULD VALENTINO AND THE VEES REACTIF CHILD REDER HAD A FEAR OF STORMS

Hi Friend,

Super fitting- we have a tornado warning and watch in effect where I am right now! I’ve been sitting all night watching the storms roll through. 

<3 Mandy

Valentino heard the first boom of thunder over the nightly noises of his studio. He glanced at the clock, and then at his phone. The warning had come through earlier in the night, and with his wife away, he had coached both Vox and Velvette on how to keep reader feeling safe and secure. But still, with each passing second a sense of unease settled over him. He knew she loved her Auntie and Uncle, and she had weathered storms in their arms before. Even so, something about the night made him uncomfortable. 

The decision to end early wasn’t one made by him. A quick flash and darkness spread over the entire studio. Valentino sent everyone home and quickly made his way up the back staircase. On the off chance Vox needed to leave, he had to be there for his daughter.

He pushed open the back door and the soft glow of candles greeted him. 

“Vox? Velvette? Reader?” Valentino called softly. “Are you home?”

“Over here, Val,” Vox’s voice returned from the couch. 

“Daddy!” 

Even through the darkness, Valentino could make out the form of his daughter rushing to him. He bent over and lifted her to him, pressing his lips to her forehead. Even in his hold, her entire body trembled. 

“Daddy is here,” he said over the rumbles of thunder. “It’s okay, Daddy’s got you.”

Carefully, he carried his little girl back to the couch and sat down. He cuddled her to his chest and did his best to whisper soothingly as he rubbed her back. 

Another flash, a crack of thunder and her grip tightened on his jacket. She hid her face against him and he settled his body so they were both laying down. Carefully, he pulled a blanket down from the couch and covered them both up. 

“Vox, do you need to do something about this?” Valentino asked as he held his daughter. 

“Nothing I can do, Val. Poles are down all over the city and both the main generator and back up generator are fried. That isn’t a me issue, I just send the crews out. Nothing we can do until they can get it all fixed,” Vox replied calmly. “But if the baby would like, I can make hot chocolate.”

“What do you think sweetheart? Do you want Uncle Voxxy to make hot chocolate?” Valentino asked the shaking bundle.

“I want some, Vox,” Velvette answered after a moment of quiet. 

“Me too,” Valentino added. 

“Then hot chocolate it is!” Vox replied cheerfully. He turned away and walked into the kitchen. 

Several blue sparks later, he returned with a tray of steaming mugs topped with whipped cream. 

“I made an extra, in case baby changes her mind,” Vox said as he handed a cup to Velvette. 

Valentino pushed himself upright and gently lifted up the covers. Tiny hands pulled them back down and he felt her push into his chest. 

“Bebita, do you want hot coco?” Valentino asked as he took a mug from Vox. “Uncle Voxxy even put rainbow sprinkles on.” 

The lump under the blanket stirred and finally, her blonde head poked out. Relieved, Valentino put and arm around her and helped her sit up on his lap. He handed her his cup and she took a sip. 

Another flash of lightening and Valentino at least had the foresight to hold onto the cup as she buried her head back against him.

“Sweetheart, thunder and lightening is nothing more than your Great Uncle Lucy and God having an all out bowling match,” Velvette said as she watched the scene before her. “Remember? Nothing to be frightened of.”

To all of their surprise, her lower lip quivered. 

“I don’t want them to fight, I don’t like it!” She sobbed. “It’s scary!”

“I know baby, but I promise youre safe with Daddy, Uncle Voxxy and Auntie Vel,” Valentino said softly. “And Mommy when she’s home.”

In response, she buried her face back into him. He sighed and set the mug down as he pulled her to him closely. 

“I’m going to lay down with her, she’s overtired,” Valentino said quietly as he stood up. 

“No! Want Auntie and Uncie too!” she shrieked. 

Valentino looked at them both and they instantly put their mugs down. 

“Then we’re coming too,” Vox answered without hesitation. “Come on, family snuggle time.” 

“It has been awhile,” Velvette added. “Come on sweetheart, all of us to bed.” 

Valentino mouthed a silent thank you to them both as they made their way to his room. Velvette walked across the room and pulled the blinds closed as Valentino laid down with reader in the middle of the bed. Vox joined on one side, Velvette on the other. 

Reader stuck her thumb in her mouth and snuggled against Valentinos chest. Velvette grabbed the blanket and pulled it over the four of them. 

“No leave,” she muttered sleepily. 

“Alright baby, we won’t leave,” Valentino said softly. “Sleep. We’re all here to protect you. Nothing will hurt you, not with us here.” 

Several heartbeats later, he felt the rise and fall of her chest slow as her thumb fell from her mouth. 

“You guys can go if you want, I think she’s good now,” Valentino said quietly. 

“I think not, baby wanted us to stay,” Velvette replied firmly as she settled herself into the pillows. 

“Besides, what if she wakes up? Can’t break a promise,” Vox added with a yawn. He turned on his side. “Goodnight guys.”

[voxsremotec0ck]

What's even better then reader secretly doming all the vees? All the vees secretly trying to get reader to dom them.

(Veader hanging out with all of them at night)

Velvette: Can you believe that some bitchboy thought he could manhandle me? Like can't they see this outfit is for stepping on people, not to be stepped on? Hashtag AreYouBlind?

Valentino: I understand all too well. The new bitch thought that bring out handcuffs that she could top, so I had to remind her of her place.

Vox: Yeah, just had to 'fire' the star of my latest show. He thought that being bigger and broader than me ment he should be 'in charge'. You know how it is, right Veader?

(Veader flashbacking to that morning)

Flashback!Velvette: (wearing a skimpy outfit) Hey Veader~ Look at the new outfit I just released. It's sooo trashy~ I can't believe how well its selling! I look like a bratty succubus, just begging for someone to put me in my place and feed me their lust! Does this look make you want to feed me your lust? I'd like an 'honest opinion' from you~ ...Where are you going Veader? Doesn't these pigtails atleast my hair look pullable?!

(Veader flashbacking to that noon)

Flashback!Valentino: (half under the table) Oh hey there Veader~ I dropped my cigarette holder and it rolled under the coach. I tried to get it but now I'm stuck! Maybe if you grab my hips, you could pull me out~ ...Where are you going Veader? Come back! I actually think I really am stuck.

(Veader flashbacking to that evening)

Flashback!Vox: (Tied up by tons of computer wires) H-Hey Veader. I don't know what happened but I appear to be a little tied up now. I got my legs free but I can barely move my arms! Everytime I move it just gets more tangled! It's getting pretty tight~ Maybe you could help me out~ W-where are you going Veader? No seriously, get back here. Please, this will take hours to sort out!

Veader (in the present): I have no idea what ya'll are on about.

Veader looking at them all like “I know what you are”

VELVETTE LET ME SEE YOUR OUTFIT PLEASE I BET YOU LOOK SO PRETTY AND YOUR PIGTAILS ARE PERFECT HANDLEBARS DW

VOX HOLD ON BEFORE I GET YOU DOWN LET ME JUST SUCK YOUR DICK REAL QUICK

Valentino… I hope the couch breaks and crushes you tbh sorry not sorry

[speedycoffeedelight]

Hello! I've returned with more 'Reader helps get everyone a job' scenarios! And this time, not anon ✨️

Also, so happy to see you referenced my first ask, really made my day!

Anyway, scenarios begin.

~

Reader: Velvette, this is the second job you've been fired from since you got here. There isn't exactly many clothing store in town and if you keep getting fired, you'll be deemed 'unhireable'.

Velvette: *Rolling her eyes on her phone* I don't see why you're so bothered by that, I'm already a small time influencer and with the way I'm manipulating the algorithm, I'll be monetised in no time. Besides, the clothes they sold there weren't even good enough for a dumpster fire.

Reader: Anyway... There's atleast 2 more clothing stores available before we have to start looking elsewhere, a sports clothes store and a thrift shop.

Velvette: Pfft, thrift shop? You can't in your right mind think I'd be touching second han- wait. *Types on her phone* Thifting is in, sign me up! And then call Princess in here, her little lamb form is guaranteed to get me more likes then that bitch Geraldine's yappy mutt in socks and sunglasses.

~

Reader: Lute, I don't mean to be insulting or anything but I'm not sure if you could handle being a supermarket security guard. It can be a very dangerous job.

Lute: I understand you're concerns but allow me to lay them to rest with a quick demonstration of my capabilities.

*Lute quickly tackles Sir Pentious to the ground and pins him as he shouts a quick 'Why me?!'*

~

Adam: Listen Babe, I don't see what the issue is.

Reader: Adam, the bar is looking for a live band to there regularly, not a solo guitarist. Now I'm sure you are a wonderful singer-songwriter but they're not looking for a solo musician.

Adam: *Crossing arms* Fine. What other jobs are there.

Reader: Plenty, and almost all of them are places we've already got someone in so they can recommend you and you're pretty much guaranteed to be hired.

Adam: Okay Babe, fire away.

Reader: Well, the local cafés looking for another waiter (Charlies workplace).

Adam: Uh, pass.

Reader: The fast food joint needs another cashier. (Vaggies workplace)

Adam: Next.

Reader: The restaurant-dinner is willing to train up a sous-chef with no prior experience or qualifications (Angels/Husks workplace).

Adam: Eh, I don't cook.

Reader: The council is hiring more trash collectors, it sounds bad but has incredibly good pay (Niftys workplace).

Adam: As much as I'm down for driving a massive truck, somethings telling me to stay away from that little freak. She might stab me in the back or something.

Reader: You also don't have a driving license. Anyway, the radio station is hiring a files clerk (Alastors workplace).

Adam: They play rock or metal?

Alastor: *From another room* Nope!

Adam: Then, nah.

Reader: *Muttering to self* And I don't think you can work for the mechanics without a driving license either (Cherris workplace).

Reader: The florist is hiring. (Lucifers workplace).

Adam: *Fake gags*

Reader: What about working at that bowling alley and arcade pizzeria? (Voxs workplace)

Adam: *Sticks out tongue*

Reader: The clothing store? (Velvettes workplace)

Adam: *Raises eyebrow*

Reader: The local supermarket? (Lutes workplace)

Adam: *Pours slightly*

Reader: *Sighs and starts rubbing temple* Well, the only other places available is the post office and that steakhouse on the outskirts of town.

Adam: Steakhouse? Now that's what I'm talking about! Sign me up straight away.

Reader: I thought you said you don't cook.

Adam: Listen Babe, it's grilling, not cooking. Big difference. Besides, I literally invented the grill, you know? It's like 1 of the top 5 best ideas I ever had, you know, right next to naming a bunch of birds 'tits'.

Reader: You invented the grill? That's actually kinda impressive.

Lucifer: Don't flatter him, love. He had to invent a whole new way of cooking meat or else he'd have starved everytime Eve made him sleep on the coach.

Adam: HEY!

HEYYY!! Good to see you back again!! <⁠(⁠￣⁠︶⁠￣⁠)⁠>

Yeah , velvette gonna be a real bitch(HAH-) working at stores. She won't settle for anything that's not up to her taste.

* Reader sighing in the corner trying to find more shops.*

Poor Pentious, he had to be the example 🤣🤣

*the cast and reader giving Pentious concerned glances*

And there's Adam, the first man who can't settle on one job( just like girls- *gets shot in the head*). I can definitely see him inventing grilling like this 😂😂

Thank you yet again for your creative and unique headcannons! I truly enjoy reading them!! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

[the-radio-demon-blog]

Leaks?

In the Hotel?

But how can this be?

Earthquake?

Structural design flaws?

Dry rot?

Subsidence owing to a plague of MICE???!!!!!

Yes, have had a minor gas leak in the hotel. It's old and it's frail. And the wonderful father Lucifer is hadn't hired an inspector to inspect the Hotel.

Apparently, our coach roach problem has taken on a scale of new volume. Niffty was right...they were a danger. And my, do they have plans for our Hotel. Do not fret my dear, your ever so reliable Radio Demon will disperse with the problem-

Oh...ah. I see, you're talking about the Hotel Leaks that occurred on election day. A monumental and stress inducing day for America every four years. No, the cause was a dimwit who decided to hack into our Hotel system. It's safe to assume that Charlie and I have taken new measures to bolster it (not through Vox's means).

It was rather an unfortunate ordeal.

[electric-demons-in-love]

Random Vox, Valentino and Velvette headcanons (part 3):

-Velvette really likes Avril Levine and early-2000s pop punk music in general. She’ll often be blasting it out loud in her fashion studio. In terms of more modern artists I feel like she’d enjoy Scene Queen.

-As much as he loves taking Val on extravagant dates to expensive restaurants, Vox’s favourite dates involve seeing a movie then getting food at a 50s-style diner afterward.

-Vox tries to be romantic and cute by sharing a milkshake with him but Val, being his gross self, always sticks his tongue in it to lewdly lick up the cream.

-Valentino enjoys watching talent competitions on TV (like the hell equivalent of Dancing On Ice, the X factor, etc), though mostly because he’s a judgmental bitch and likes to rip into the competitors. Vox actually got him to be a guest judge on a show once and every week he made someone cry (Vox didn’t care because the ratings skyrocketed whenever Val got involved).

-Val doesn’t like horror movies. He doesn’t mind gore but suspense and spooky stories get under his skin. He will watch them though if Vox agrees to let Val cuddle up to him. In comparison Velvette is a horror freak and cheers whenever someone dies gruesomely.

-Honestly before episode four I thought that Velvette’s Love Potion was a perfume. Obviously it isn’t, but I imagine Velvette and Valentino do have their own perfume line.

-Vox has his own energy drink brand called Vroom.

-Whenever Val gets flustered he pulls his hat down over his face. It happens very rarely but when it does Vox will mercilessly tease him about it.

-Vox can’t walk in heels, no matter how much Val and Velvette try to coach him. He will literally trip all over the place. To make up for it Velvette made him a special pair of platform boots.

-Velvette has a private folder on her phone full of unflattering photos of Vox and Val. She often threatens to make them public to blackmail the pair into getting what she wants.

-Vox can play electric guitar. It helps him relieve stress.

-When Val is pissed at Velvette he’ll do extremely petty things such as steal her makeup or doodle over her fashion sketches.

-Val once tried to be romantic by flying Vox over pentagram city using his wings. It was going great until Vox got violently air sick and puked all over Val’s clothes.

-Valentino has a massive collection of vintage porn magazines. They’re displayed on a bookcase in his penthouse and carefully organised. He’s very proud of his collection and will brag about it to anyone who will listen.

-They somehow got their hands on an Asmodeus Crystal and use it for earth trips, complete with human disguises. They don’t go often and when they do it’s only for a short amount of time to not arouse suspicion, so the trips are very special.

-The first time Vox saw Valentino’s human disguise he almost came on the spot.

-One trip involved them visiting Sea World. Vox had the time of his life looking at all the marine animals, Val and Vel had never seen him so genuinely happy as he was that day.

-Every time they go to earth they bring home a souvenir related to what they did. Vox’s favourite is a stuffed shark from the Sea World trip that he keeps in his bedroom, Valentino’s favourite is a tacky necklace Vox won him in an arcade (he often wears it hidden under his coat) and Velvette’s favourite is a collection of photo booth Polaroids they took together.

Part 1 Part 2

[fundmydeathowo]

hazbin hotel actor au as things I've done

husk - first word was bitch

Anthony - threw a chair at a sexist pe coach

lute - threw a dictionary at a teacher

adam - cried because his corndog fell onto the ground

vox - ate pickle Pizza

velvette - burned her hair with a lighter to see what would happen

valentino - had a breakdown and started singing dancing queen

lucifer - proposed to my best friend in a racetrack (gas station)

emily - had a panic attack because a man touched her

[hazbinincorrect]

Hazbin Hotel character as thing my coworker did in a shitty hotel

Charlie: Give a family with young children a suite at no extra charge because the kids were so cute.

Vaggie: Yell at a group of 15-year-old hockey players for playing in the lobby, and receive a thank you from their coach.

Alastor: Almost got a client sent back to prison because he didn't know how to forward a call from his parole officer to his room.

Nifty: Had a prostitute ask him if he want some good time, said yes and after ask her if she play Roblox

Vox: Found a way to delete footage from the camera every time he took a puff from his vape inside.

Velvet: Our booking.com account was banned for fraud because she responded to a question by saying, 'Well, I'm going to forward your question to my supervisor in Toronto because, trust me, $150 is not worth stealing.'"

Angel: Got a prostitue to give him Starbucks coffee in exchange of 5% off

[blue-rose-soul]

For the main Devil's Bastard AU, how likely would either Alastor or Lucifer be to clear things up once the news broke to the public?

If, like Vox, Hell believes that Alastor knew Lucifer was his father from childhood and was given an easy go of it, it arguably harms Alastor's reputation more. Assuming nepotism and involvement with Charlie's hotel being the result of existent family relationships. His mother would probably get less attention with the focus on Alastor himself.

If the facts came out that neither of them knew until just before or after episode 8, that might bring less scrutiny on Alastor, who can now be confirmed as raised human, but open up them both to questions about Nicaise. Because that means Lucifer really had no idea and was a complete non-entity in Alastor's life.

Actually, how does Lucifer address the controversy of Alastor's mother in all branches of the AU?

Given that Lucifer's usual coping mechanism is to lock himself in his workshop for a few decades building ducks, I don't think that rushing to any news outlet willing to platform him would be his first plan of action. Not that he'd be unwilling, just that it wouldn't immediately occur to him.

Alastor, on the other hand, is not the type to take things lying down and is more than happy to retaliate publicly to attempts to slander his name. Rather than focusing on the fact that he and Lucifer didn't discover their relation until recently, however, I can see him going on air and reiterating that he is independently powerful and anyone who dares to think otherwise is more than free to face him. Charlie takes issue with this response.

I think it would be Charlie herself who would organize something like a press conference to address the situation. Katie Killjoy and a half dozen other reporters are present and Charlie's nervous but determined to get ahold of the situation and emboldened by her success in Cannibal Town. She and Vaggie strategize how to address the crowd well in advance, coached Alastor and her dad on what to say, and, yeah okay, she might have had to promise Alastor another favor or two to get him to agree to go in front of the cameras without glitching them out, but when the day comes, they're ready.

She starts out with some simple statements laying out the facts; no one inside the hotel knew that Lucifer was Alastor's father, including the two involved, the Hazbin Hotel exists purely to rehabilitate Sinners in hopes of helping them reach Heaven to spare them from the exterminations, there are no plans to launch an assault on Heaven, and her only goals are for the good of her people. She has Lucifer and Alastor themselves back up these facts, Alastor even stating that while he personally doesn't believe in redemption, he's there for the entertainment, nothing more, and the help he offers Charlie comes of his own will, not Lucifer's orders. He might be a bit more smarmy than Charlie cares for as he emphasizes he doesn't take orders from Lucifer, but he gets the point across.

All seems well. They've said what they need to, and while not everyone will believe their side of the story, the wind has been taken out of the sails of a lot of these baseless rumors whose only origin was an anonymous source. Charlie opens the floor to questions, aaaaaaaaand that's when the topic of Alastor's mother comes up.

Nicaise isn't part of the press conference. Alastor didn't want her in the public eye, and she agreed. Charlie and Vaggie did prepare Lucifer for the possibility that he would be asked these types of questions, but actually being faced with them is a different matter.

'Who is the identity of Alastor's mother?'

'Does Lilith know about this other woman?'

'How many other women are there?'

'Does Lucifer have more royal bastards out there?'

'Is this why the Queen of Hell disappeared seven years ago?'

'Does this mean Lucifer and Lilith are split up for good?'

'Have they heard anything from Lilith?'

'Will Lilith-'

Lilith.

Lilith Lilith Lilith.

They keep firing questions at him faster than he can answer. He manages to rattle off the answers he and Charlie prepared beforehand, but there are questions they haven't accounted for and the reporters are barely giving him time to think. He begins to stumble over his words, repeating answers he's already given, or just not answering. And the starving vultures, sensing blood, pounce on this display of weakness, implying he's a deadbeat father and unfaithful husband. Charlie tries to call the conference off, but Lucifer's frozen and the reporters aren't letting up. But we all know how Alastor feels about fighting reporters.

It takes him eating just a few of them in eldritch beast mode for the rest to scatter. Charlie guides Lucifer back inside while the poor guy breaks down into a panic attack.

In the Raised Together AU, Lilith met Alastor when he was a child and helped to raise him. She and Lucifer announced his addition to their household a few decades after taking him on, only once he'd grown into his powers some and was able to somewhat defend himself, just in case. When she and Lucifer made the announcement, Lilith was the one leading the conversation and she shut down any questions about infidelity. She and Lucifer were open to one another having sexual partners outside the relationship, so long as they both communicated with one another if they planned to sleep with someone else and got the other's approval beforehand. Lucifer did not do this with Nicaise, but Lilith gave the impression that she was aware of and approved of Lucifer sleeping with Alastor's mother in order to save face with the public. According to Lilith, Alastor's mother was not able to care for such a unique child and so Alastor would be living with them. He was to be regarded as a full member of the Morningstar family and not a bastard. End of discussion.

[storm-angel989]

🎀IM SORRY FOR BLOWING UP YOUR INBOX! But Val/Vox(idrc which one) x Anorexic Daughter Reader?🎀

PLEASE READ BEFOREHAND

Hi Friend,

You’re not blowing up my inbox- I keep every request in a google doc and when inspo hits I work on it! If I ever decide I won’t do a request I won’t just delete it- I’ll post and say it directly <3 

Preface for this work:

 I’m considered a plus sized equestrian/plus sized human. Eating disorders come in all shapes, sizes and issues. I believe it’s Blythe Barid who said “If you develop an eating disorder when you are already thin to begin with you go to the hospital. If you develop an eating disorder when you are not thin to begin with, you are a success story.”

Stories like these are based on my own experiences and issues- and on this topic, I’ve had quite a few. Please remember that all bodies are worthy of love and respect, care and concern. It's a tough concept to wrap our heads around, and admittedly I still struggle with it. 

A little background info: 

ED’s are a huge part of my writing that I haven’t published. Ana and Mia are characters I have created (or maybe my own food issues created them). Either way, they’re  separate entities for separate stories- demons that I imagine have their own place in hell as well as in my writings (all of which have been in existence far longer than Hazbin). That being said, naming your ED is something I did and I have done. Even for the purpose of writing this story, the entire thing felt wrong without Ana running the behind the scenes. 

With this one I tried to pain the pain, the anger and frustration behind that never feeling good enough feeling. I would be open to doing part two if folks would be interested. Please also know I’ve written on this topic in several other forms if you explore my masterlist (or I can directly send you the links if you PM me). 

<3 Mandy 

I stepped on the bathroom scale and looked at the number that flashed below. The words of my coach echoed in my mind- I needed to lose the summer weight, or else I would be benched for the rest of the season. She had helpfully provided me with a journal to keep track of my weight, what I ate in a day, activities I did and how many calories I burned in accordance with my VoxTech watch. 

A month ago, I had met her goal, thus ending the weekly weigh-ins. According to her, I had lost enough weight to maintain my place on the team. It was on me now to make sure that I maintained that weight, or lost more. In her exact words, you could never be too skinny. 

“Bebita? Breakfast,” my fathers voice called from the hallway. “Come on, before it gets cold.”

The number told me I hadn’t gained weight, but I hadn’t lost weight either. I picked my backpack up and slung it over my shoulder. 

“Sorry, Dad! I’m late! I’ll eat at school, I promise,” I answered back as I rushed out the door. 

Surely skipping breakfast wouldn’t hurt. 

Skipping breakfast turned into skipping lunch. Skipping lunch turned into avoiding dinner. Sugar free jello and skinny pop became my go to snacks as the numbers in my book slowly but surely began to get smaller. Somewhere, a little voice inside my head began to cheer my successes on the scale. Over time, I learned that she had a name. 

Ana. My secret diet partner. My invisible cheerleader. The willpower I needed to keep going on the hardest days. And most importantly, someone who paid attention to me, 

With each passing day, Ana grew louder. She encouraged me to keep my diet a secret from my family. After all, they wouldn’t understand. Pleasing her, it became almost like an addiction- a game I played with myself to see just how little I could become. Food became nothing more than numbers, an obsession that consumed every minute, every second of my thoughts and desires. 

In my household, it wasn’t hard to keep it to myself. Hell, one could argue that I wasn’t technically even keeping it a secret. My father had a very important job, after all. And my Auntie Velvette and Uncle Vox also wouldn’t have had the opportunity to make the connection. A quick, I ate earlier, sorry! And I got off scott free. Ana cheered with each no thank you I uttered. My head between my knees after practice had become a ritualistic practice. Waiting for the black spots to fade, taking deep breaths to try to regain the energy to stand up and walk out to the awaiting limo. It wasn’t like there was anyone waiting at home for me anyway. 

On the daily, I kept a careful eye on my voxtech watch. The first time my blood sugar dropped, I got a call from Vox. Paniced waves rushed through me. A suggestion from Ana to bribe to a friendly tech demon. A brief trade later, I had constant vitals being sent from my watch, my real ones hidden behind a password. With this newfound freedom, outside of homework and practice, my time normally devoted to hobbies or hanging out with friends became time to sleep. After all, I was working on the perfect body. I needed my rest. 

For almost six months, Ana and I were best friends. 

Saturday morning. Game day. One of the busiest days for my father. After all, lust and depravity raked through the weekends like wildfire. Or at least, that was what he claimed. I stood in front of the mirror trying desperately to tighten the drawstring 

“Hey bebita?” I heard my fathers voice call from the hallway. “Baby, are you up?”

“Yeah, Dad. I have a game today,” I snapped as I tied another knot in the string. 

Why the fuck wouldn’t these stupid shorts stay up? I fumed to myself. Every part of my body ached, and even yanking on my shorts sent black spots and exhaustion rushing through my body. I leaned my head against the mirror and tried to take a deep breath. I could do this. I had to do this. 

The next thing I heard was my fathers voice, felt his hand shaking my shoulder. It took every ounce of energy to open my eyes. 

“Bebita? Reader, can you hear me?” Valentino asked frantically. “Princessa, wake up, now!”

“I’m fine,” I muttered as loudly as I could. Somehow, I managed to push myself upright. 

“You most certainly are not fine,” he replied sharply. “I’m taking you downstairs to the doctor, right now.”

Doctor. That meant I would miss the game. No, I had an obligation to my teammates. Somewhere in my head, Ana screamed.

Get up, fatass!

You really want to fuck this up for everyone?

You better not let him take you to the doctor, you do that and you’ll never find perfection. 

“I’m fine,” I growled, louder this time. I pulled myself to my feet and black spots dotted my vision. I felt my fathers arms around me and in seconds, I was off the floor and in his arms.

“Put me down, I can walk,” I tried to yell. Inside my head, Ana screamed louder, demands and insults about my current predicament. I pressed my hands to my head and curled my fingers in my hair, “Dad let me down NOW!” 

He ignored me as he carried me down the hallway. 

“Vox? Velvette? Both of you, with me. Now. We have a problem.” He said loudly. 

“Woah, what’s going….” Vox’s voice began. 

I shoved my hand against my father as he walked through the living room.  To my relief, he set me down on the couch. 

“What?” I snarled as three sets of eyes stared at me. “What the fuck are you looking at?” 

Vox checked his phone and then walked over to me. With one finger, he lifted off my Voxtech watch. 

“Hey! Give that back!” I demanded. “I’m going to be late to my game!”

All three of them ignored me. Wordlessly, Velvette walked away and returned moments later, bathroom scale in hand. She set it infront of the couch and gave me a hard look. 

“Step on.” 

“Fuck you,” I snapped as I stood up. I tried to ignore the black spots that danced just out of sight. “My weight is none of your fucking business.”

“Reader!” Valentino said in dismay. “That’s no way to talk to your Aunt.”

“I’m leaving, I’m already late. Thanks, Dad,” I continued sarcastically as I kicked the scale aside. 

Inside, Ana cheered. I bent down to pick up my backpack and the world around me spun. Three steps,  and Vox’s hand gripped my upper arm. The last thing I heard was Ana’s voice screaming indistinguishable words. 

When I came to again, I found myself in a room of gray and blue. Wires stuck out from my chest, and I tried to cough and spit the feeling of something painful in the back of my throat. I tried to reach up, to shove my fingers down my throat, and my skin met padded white cuffs. 

What the fuck?

You’re going to have to work hard to get yourself out of this one, Ana taunted. Great job getting caught, fatass. 

“Hey, baby, it’s alright, Papi is here,” I heard my father’s voice say somewhere far away. 

“Mr. Valentino, I promise we’ll be in touch when she’s more stable,” a new voice said. “For now, it might be best to give her some space to…”

Indistinguishable arguments. My fathers refusal and reminder of who exactly was in charge here. My Uncle Vox and Aunt Velvette chiming in, a mix of talking him down and agreement. 

Panic shot through me as the haze slowly began to wear away. Realization. Through the fog, only one word came to mind. 

Fuck.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Eric Levitz at Vox:

When Vice President Kamala Harris chose Tim Walz as her running mate, many pundits lamented her decision. In their view, the Democratic nominee should have chosen a vice presidential candidate who could mitigate her liabilities, and balance out her party’s ticket — such as Pennsylvania Gov. Josh Shapiro.

After all, Harris had been a liberal senator from one of America’s most left-wing states and then had run an exceedingly progressive primary campaign in 2020. To win over swing-state undecideds, she needed to demonstrate her independence from her party’s most radical elements. And selecting the popular governor of a purple state — who had defied the Democratic activist base on education policy and Israel’s war in Gaza— would do just that. Walz, in this account, was just another liberal darling: As Minnesota governor, he had enacted a litany of progressive policies, including restoring the voting rights of ex-felons and creating a refuge program for trans people denied gender-affirming care in other states. Picking Walz might thrill the subset of Americans who would vote for Harris even if she burned an American flag on live TV and lit a blunt with its flames. But it would do nothing to reassure those who heard two words they did not like in the phrase, “California liberal.”

But there is more than one way to balance a ticket. Or so Harris’s team believes, if the third night of the Democratic National Convention is any guide. On Wednesday night, Democrats used Walz’s nomination to associate their party with rural American culture and small-c conservative moral sentiments, while remaining true to a broadly progressive agenda. Walz may not be especially distinct from Harris ideologically. But he is quite different demographically and symbolically. Harris is the half-Jamaican, half-Indian daughter of immigrant college professors who grew up in the San Francisco Bay Area. Walz was born into a family whose roots in the United States went back to the 1800s, and raised in a Nebraska town of 400, where ethnic diversity largely consisted of several different flavors of Midwestern white (Walz himself is of German, Irish, Swedish, and Luxembourgish descent). Harris is an effortlessly cool veteran of red carpets. Walz is a dad joke that has attained corporal form.

In her person and biography, Harris represents the America that has benefited unequivocally from the transformations of the past half-century — the cosmopolitan, multicultural nation that has greeted the advance of racial and gender equality with relief, and the knowledge economy that’s taken to globalization with relish. Walz, by contrast, was shaped by the America that feels more at home in the world of yesterday, at least as it is nostalgically misremembered — a world where moral intuitions felt more stable, rural economies seemed more healthy, and the American elite looked more familiar; the America that put Donald Trump in the Oval Office, in other words. Or at least, the Harris campaign has chosen to associate Walz with all of that America’s iconography, attempting to make it feel as included in the Democratic coalition as possible — without actually ceding much ground to conservative policy preferences. The introduction to Walz’s speech Wednesday night looked like it could have been scripted by a chatbot asked to generate the antithesis of a “San Francisco liberal.” A video montage celebrated Walz’s diligent work on his family farm growing up, his service in the US military, skills as a marksman, and — above all — success as a football coach. Democrats leaned especially hard on that last, most American item on Walz’s resume. Just before the party’s vice presidential nominee took the mic, a group of his former players decked out in their gridiron garments marched on stage to a fight song (not to be confused with “Fight Song”).

[...] There is some basis for believing that Democrats might be able to win over a small but significant fraction of Republican-leaning independents by wrapping center-left policies in conservative packaging. Some political scientists have found that when moderate and conservative voters are presented with a progressive, Democratic economic policy idea — that is justified on the grounds that it will help uphold “the values and traditions that were handed down to us: hard work, loyalty to our country and the freedom to forge your own path” — some do respond favorably (as do liberal voters, who take no offense at such abstract, traditionalist pieties). Whether Walz tying himself to rural American symbology — or Harris tying herself to “Coach Walz” — will be enough to blunt Trump’s attacks on the Democratic nominee’s supposed “communism” remains to be seen. But the Democratic ticket is at least trying to make right-leaning Midwesterners feel like they belong (even if they do not think like Democrats do).

Tim Walz’s DNC speech last night reflects a broader trend of Democrats reclaiming freedom and patriotism while also selling its liberal agenda. #DNC2024 #HarrisWalz2024

See Also:

HuffPost: With Kamala Harris, It’s Cool For Liberals To Be Patriotic Again

[sapphiccassettetape]

i finally got around to watching legend of vox machina (obsessed, obviously) but i am going to be the world's most insufferable person when i see the mighty nein animated. enter me into the unhinged fan cage match, i'm ready coach

[allastoredeer]

I think you'll like Harlem Sunset's recipe: Charlie's found family, Charlie coming into herself as princess of hell, alastor coaching her, overlord politics, Charlie's overlord alliance, sins' disdain toward sinners not exclusive to Lucifer, Charlie setting up boundaries for herself, Mammon being likeable, sins complaining about Lucifer making all about himself, vox&alastor reconciling, alastor's friendship with Angel, velvel interacting with alastor&rosie

I just finished reading it and I loved it 😍so, so many tasty relationship dynamics between ALL the characters, Valentino & Vox, Vox & Alastor, Valentino & Angel, Alastor & Angel, Alastor & Charlie, Charlie & the Sins, Charlie & Vaggie, Vaggie & Alastor - it's so fun and entertaining to read!

Literally had me smiling like a lunatic whenever Vox and Alastor interact. The way their relationship is slowly developing and the flawless way they bounce off each other melts my heart.

The slow build up of Lucifer's presence throughout the fic, despite the fact that we haven't even been introduced to him yet, is so much fun and it makes me all the more excited for when he does finally show up. I already know its going to be a mess for everyone involved, and I am SO here for it.

I love imagining the Sin's as a loving little found family, but GOD am I down bad for the Sin's being a dysfunctional (and a lil toxic) mess. I won't go too deep into anything cuz I don't want to spoil anyone who wants to read it, but the way the Sin's interact with each other and with Charlie is so, so interesting, and it got me thinking about different ways that relationship would go.

The politics are fantastic too! I'm especially eager to see how the relationship between Alastor and Charlie goes, considering she's looking to him for guidance more and more, and we know Lucifer's appearance is on the horizon.

One could say I am very invested in this fic haha. I so excited to see where the author takes it!!