#cm'on

[fonteyn]

FUMI KANEKO and VADIM MUNTAGIROV rehearse the roles of King Leontes and Queen Hermione for The Royal Ballet's production of "The Winter's Tale" (2024).

[flamevbirdv]

it literally doesn't matter if your fave sucks the least or not, this is a slasher. it's the fun of horror to watch them get all killed

[bishimightwing]

🕸

[thecelestialsyzygy]

Mike doesn't NEED a shield, he IS the shield. Cm'on shoulders!

[lotomber]

INCUBUS BSD MEN x virgin needy fem reader 😉😊😀

Just saying...you can do whatever you want with that...but...

please add chuuya ❤️

Incubus! Chuuya just makes me feel things😳😵 so I just thought about making a threesome with Incubus! Dazai.🫣

Deviant night!

Pairing: Incubus! Chuuya x Incubus! Dazai x Virgin Fem! Reader

Warning: Nsfw, Dub-con, Threesome, their bite has the effect of aphrodisac , slight mentions of Blood, Degradation, Oral, pussy slapping, anal, piv, double penetration, mdni, not proof read

It was finally the end of the semester exams so your friends decided to go clubbing you were not really the party type of person cause you find them tiring but for once you agreed to go with them. The place was full of people dancing intimately with each other with a lingering scent of sex and alcohol. After dancing for a while with your friends you went to have some drinks. As you sat there waiting for your drink, two man came and sat besides you "Seems like you came here to enjoy with your friends!" said the brown haired man, he had chocolaty brown orbs with long lashes and beautiful face. He was accompanied by a shorter handsome man with red hair and deep blue eyes. You were awe struck by their captivating appearance.

"Ah yes, our exam finished today so my friends wanted to celebrate." you replied swirling the drink in your glass.

"Hmm but it doesn't seem like you're enjoying yourself that much?" said the redhead.

"Oh! By the way I'm Dazai and this here is Chuuya, you can also call him doggy if you want to."

"Oi who the hell are you calling doggy you stupid freak!" you couldn't help but chuckle a bit seeing them bicker.

"I'm (name) Seems like you both are good friends" you said sipping your drink.

"Hell no! hmm let's just say this chuuya here is a colleague of mine."

"So you came here to have some drinks with your colleague?"

"Hmm no but we both do come regularly here. But you still haven't answered our question, you don't seem to be enjoying here as much as your friends?"

"Ahh does it seem that way to you? It's just that I don't usually come to places like this so I feel a bit awkward."

"Well there's nothing there to be awkward about here. It's just a club where people come to mingle and enjoy themselves. A perfect place for night! But if you want we can show you something more fascinating" Chuuya leaned closer to you whispering the last part in your ear. You gulped a bit "What do you mean by fascinating?"

"Oh cm'on Darling we both know that you're not that naive! you very well understand what we mean." Yes you very well understood what they meant. You should've refused but maybe it was the alcohol acting up in your system or it was just something so alluring and bewitching about them that you ignored the dangerous glint in their eyes and agreed to them.

Both Chuuya and Dazai are incubus and feed on the sexual energy of humans, a club is the perfect place for them to find their prey and feast on them on a daily basis. But since the moment you entered the club, both of them had their eyes on you cause they sensed you were a virgin and it's rare to find a virgin to feed on so despite their aversion to each other they both agreed to share you.

After that you don't really remember how y'all ended up in a hotel room, the only thing you could feel at the moment were their gentle yet firm touches on your body making you crave for more. As you felt dazai's tongue clashing with yours for dominance while chuuya striped you naked, spreading your legs apart. You twitch a bit as you felt the cold air on your bare pussy but chuuya's grip on your legs remain firm as he leaves dark red and purple hickies on your thighs moving towards your core. You groan as dazai suddenly bares his fang deep in your shoulders as your blood trickles down but instead of pain you felt a sudden rush of heat throughout your body as your breathe gets heavier. You try to clamp your thighs on chuuya as you felt your core aching for a release.

"Tch Doll don't be so impatient we are just get started or are you just a desperate little slut?"

"Mm..m No I..I ahh~" you were cut off by dazai as he starts biting and nibbling your nipple, while kneading your other tit a bit forcefully. You let out a sultry moan as you finally felt chuuya's tongue on your dripping pussy.

"Ahh f..fuck doll you taste so ravishing" he mercilessly starts sucking and slurping your pussy. While Dazai rams his cock in your mouth, you gag on his length struggling to take him fully. He grips yours hair thrusting his length to the back of throat in a to and fro motion as you suck him. You couldn't help but squirm as chuuya suck and glides his fangs on your bud but dazai keeps you in place while shoving his length. Tears fell down your cheeks from the continuous stimulation and as dazai keeps shoving his cock deep bruising your throat. You felt him throbbing in your mouth as he lets out low groans and grunts, cumming in your mouth as you swallow his thick, hot seeds. After a while you also came squirting all over chuuya's mouth as he let out a satisfying moan.

You pant heavily as chuuya pulls you in his lap your back on his chest supporting and helping you calm down from your high. You were still feeling the effect of dazai's bite as you try to rub your hips on chuuya's length trying to gain some friction.

"Hngh You are just a needy slut aren't you! All desperate to whore herself out." You felt your pussy throbbing and getting more aroused from how chuuya degraded you.

"Ha ha Looks like this whore really does like to be humiliated huh" the brunette said as he spread apart your legs aligning his cock on your wet entrance. You mewl and whine as he grinds his tip on your folds.

"Ahh Mmm please d..don't tease me I..I can't take it"

"Oh princess then tell us what you want, beg for it like the desperate slut you are!" Your could have never expected yourself doing something like this but right now you were just desperate to be relieved from this agonizing pain in your cunt.

"P...please i...i want you" you whisper as you tried to hide your embarrassment. Dazai slaps your pussy hard "Say it loudly princess or else you won't get what you want" slap* slap*

" Ahh Ahh w..wait I...please I beg you please fuck me" not waiting anymore dazai slides his cock in your pussy slowly stretching you out. You whine and moan all while adjusting to his length. Dazai's eyes roll back as he grunts keeping your thighs open with a hard grip. As dazai bottoms out chuuya lifts your hips a bit adjust his length on your butt hole.

"I can't take two of you!" you try to protest but chuuya's grip remain firm on your body.

"Oh don't worry you can take it doll, We'll make sure you do!" your weight fell on chuuya as you felt his and dazai's cock barging in your butt hole and pussy at the same time.

"f..fuck ease up a bit darling, you're squeezing too hard does it feel that good?"

"I..I can't help ittt" you let out a dragged moan as chuuya bounces you on his lap all while dazai thrusting in you at the same time. Chuuya leaves wet kisses all over your nape as both of them mercilessly rails you. Neither of them had the marcy or patience to slow down as they kept fucking you with such vigor. You felt the heat in your abdomen as the knot breaks and you come undone all over both of them. You kept chanting their name like a mantra as they kept fucking you through your orgasm. You felt your vision blurring and your body melting from all the overstimulation, you couldn't comprehend what was happening anymore and you were just scared from how good it felt! Soon you felt their cock throbbing as they filled both your holes with their hot cum. You went limp as both them halted their movements only to start moving again.

"n..no please no more I can't" you beg them to stop as they just turn deaf to your pleas.

"Shh darling just relax, and let us ruin you!"

[nopecho]

Ok people here are some furry dol thoughts:

Whitney: initially I thought of him as a stupid orange cat, but my mind shifted quickly to wolf. HE WOULD bitch about being an Alpha (even when given evidence that the study was a bunch of bollocks). Shows IMMENSE pleasure when you manage to swallow his knot during blowjobs.

Kylar: I'm thinking either a wet cat, or a scrawny fox. I'm not sure yet. Cat because they're smol and he definitely has street cat vibes; since he's on his own. A fox because I've seen some real fucking good Foxboy Kylar art and I'm tempted to do my spin on it.

Robin: I'm thinking a little deer. Cm'on, he WOULD have doe eyes! Also baby deers have adorable freckles and who am I to say no to that!

Sydney: I'm not sure. I'm thinking a well groomed cat... But I'm open to suggestions.

Alex: Sheperd dog. There's actually a lot of sheperd dog breeds, I'm thinking a brown border-collie. My childhood dog was a collie and she was smart, sneaky, and liked to play pranks a lot! And she was the more dominant one of my two dogs, despite the other one being much stronger. It's more a nostalgic thing for me really

Avery: Owl. But I'm not sure how I'd design her.

Eden: hear ne out... Either bear or a huge fucking wolf. You see it too, right?

[mfjenks]

We've actually heard 3 different versions of "For the Sake of a Child" (from the sitzprobe and 2 stage versions with Ben and with Oliver), and all the three are so different and so perfect

Meryl showed this difference perfectly: at the sitzprobe it's cry of the soul of the woman in despair ready to sacrifice herself for her child. It's more lyrical and poignant. The stage version (both, I don't see such a difference in her part) is a song of a determined woman who knows exactly what to do. She is the real "mama bear" who "would fight and would kill" and she regrets nothing

Ben's version is more agressive and vitriolic, it's full of anger and hatred. The confrontation between the nanny and the detective sounds more authentic. Paul Rudd really did great

Oliver has his typical self-admiration and pompousness (In a good way, I adore it), he has vibes of a very charismatic antagonist (OM god i've started to hear PREMINGER). However, considering everything we saw in previous seasons, these "I'm the father", "For a child to death I dare to go" lines sound more natural and truthful. Also these Martin Short's growling intonations are just a chef's kiss, and cm'on, Marty and Meryl's duet is the best thing ever seen and heard by the humanity

I'm so in love

It's a masterpiece

[zerotwoooo]

Sir Meta Knight, Kirby's acting really strange. I don't think you should give him the Love-Love Stick just yet

"Cm'on! It's not that hard!"

"Why won't you help this planet?"

[asterkiss]

I thought we agreed to never speak of it again. Zero gravity AU (if you know it) or University AU

Woops, forgot about this in my inbox - sorry. I don't know the Zero Gravity AU (although a quick google looks interesting) so University AU it is!

- PROJECT PARTNERS

Apparently being placed into pairs was still a thing in University, go figure.

Mabel thought having her great uncle as the lecturer for one of her electives would work in her favour, and he'd pair her with one of her best friends.

Instead she ended up with the arrogant and narcisstic know-it-all Bill Cipher. She'd known him back in high school as well and he'd been the same then - she remembered how much he'd aggravated her twin brother.

She'd tried to complain to Stanford.

'Cm'on, pleaseeeeee? For your favourite great-niece?'

'No, Mabel. I refuse to play favourites. Everyone was randomly assigned a partner.' A pause. 'Besides, I thought you would relish in being partnered with Mr. Cipher. Apparently quite a lot of girls are attracted to him despite his ah, brash, exterior.

Urgh. He was just defending the guy because Bill played up as teachers pet to get what he wanted. It didn't help he was technically an academic genius which meant Stanford liked him.

(In reality, Stanford had rigged it a bit and paired the two together, figuring his prodigy student could help his great-niece out a little bit in the grades department).

And so here she was, sat in a corner of the library with Bill Cipher as he hummed to himself and browsed his laptop. They'd been sat in silence for five whole minutes and it was eating her apart - she didn't do quiet.

She decided to speak. 'So-'

'You can leave, y'know,' he replied bluntly, cutting her off without removing his gaze off the screen. 'I can do this whole project on my own. You'd just get in the way, anyway. Leave it to me and enjoy the free grade.'

She frowned. 'I can't do that, we're meant to work together.'

She saw his gaze shift in her direction but he never completely looked at her. He never did. 'I said I got this, go ahead and enjoy your free time singing bad karoke and flirting with chads.'

Mabel's face flushed with indignation. 'Hey-!'

'Shhhhh!'

The teenager cut off, wilting under the sharp gaze of one of the librarians. Bill was smirking. She lowered her voice as she responded this time. 'You're a jerk.'

'Yup.'

Urgh. She'd ask Grunkle Ford for another partner again tomorrow. Collecting her things Mabel grabbed her bag and stood up with the intent of leaving only to hesitate. After a moment she glanced back at him, his attention still fixated on the laptop.

She tightened her grip on her bag strap. 'Is this because of what happened during first term?'

The boy went completely rigid. It was almost creepy. His fingers twitched slightly, and his eyes narrowed at the screen. Clenching his jaw, he spoke sharply through gritted teeth. 'I thought we agreed to never speak of it again.'

Mabel shifted on her feet. 'Yeah, well maybe if you weren't such an ass-'

Bill snapped his head around, finally looking at her as his burning gaze drilled into her own. She froze, feeling as if she was pinned to the floor. She'd forgotten how intense his eyes were.

And oh no, now he was standing up. Despite her earlier thoughts, Mabel found herself now wishing he'd look at anything but her.

'W-What?' she managed to spit out as he stepped around the table to stand before her. She tried to hide her wariness behind a fierce expression, giving him her own sharp look.

He scowled more. 'Y'know last I remember, it was you who decided it was just a "one time thing" and we should forget about it.' He used his hands to make air quotes with his fingers.

Mabel glared. 'Yeah, because you're mean to everybody! And it's not as if I would have done it if we were sober, you just took advantage when I was drunk.'

'Hey, hey, I was waaaay more drunk than you. If anyone took advantage it was you, lady.' He arched an eyebrow, offering a sardonic smile. 'Remember? You're the one who kissed me. Quite deeply, might I add.'

Her cheeks flushed. Had she? Honestly, most of that night was kinda fuzzy. She just remembered it started out with celebrating Grenda's birthday and ended up with her waking up in Bill Cipher's dorm room. Urgh, maybe she had kissed him first. He was hot and drunk her was especially predisoposed to that kinda thing.

'W-Well.... even so! We had a one time thing and that's it, I don't get why you're such a jerk about it. It's not as if we like each other.'

A brief pause, and she watched his pupils dilate and his hands clench at his sides. There was an odd expression on his face that she couldn't decipher. '....No. We don't.'

Mabel watched as the blond turned away from her, returning to his earlier behaviour of refusing to look in her direction. Bill returned to his seat.

She felt awkward. And uncomfortable. She didn't like him. And he didn't like her. He couldn't. How could he? He'd ignored her throughout the whole of high school.

But then she distantly recalled a memory of Dipper's voice:

"Count yourself lucky, he goes out of his way to pick on literally anybody else. The guy's such an asshole.'

He'd picked on everybody else.

Except her.

But- No, she was reading too much into it. Definitely. Bill Cipher didn't like her. He was just being an ass now because that's who he was.

.....Right?

Her heart beat erratically and without another word she turned on her heel and fled the library. She told herself the sensation of eyes watching her form was just her imagination.

[lizmindpalace]

English love affair

This is inspired by English love affair by 5SOS and sort of by Lost in reality It is basically what I wanted from the UR+ card "A misty town". Pairing: Obey me Lucifer x f!reader.

Summary: Lucifer does not pay enough attention to you, and you are growing tired about it.

Word count: 7.3 K

Status: Complete.

Warnings: None, really, just some little innuendos. Pure fluff. Summer vibes.

This is 100% self-indulgent because the few last months were really tough for me and my heart was in need of some comfort.

Find it on AO3 and Wattpad.

The lights had turned down a while ago, the windows were open, and the sound of a light rain had drowned any noises around the house, but not the pictures burning in his brain. Heavens tears were dripping on the windows' glasses, beating them in synchrony with his heart, both the rain and his heart beat, slowly increasing their pace, as he kept wandering in that distant land, more than seven thousand miles away from home and days ago in time. 

It had all started on a weekend in May, the nights were clearer, and the heat had reached its maximum. He had been doing some paperwork that had to be submitted that same night, even if it was Saturday. It was hard enough to get to focus on something that dull while the temperature made his cheeks blaze and his brain slow down, but it became harder when he decided to open the windows so he could get a bit of the late spring breeze and then had to contemplate how the other inhabitants of the house looked to be enjoying the weather, playing around, abandoning the house for a night out with the promise of leaving a unforgettable memory for the years to come. 

Among the joy radiating from his brothers, as if it was a dark cloud in a clear blue sky, he could perceive a shadow that had a despondent face hidden between colourless fingers.

"Cm'on, MC, let's go to the casino, the drinks are on me".

"Sorry Mammon, but I'm not feeling like going to a casino tonight".

"She'd rather go to the spa with me".

"Or to the collectible merchandise pop up store for the new comedy 'I wished I lived in my Otome game and then it came true and now finally I'm living the life I wanted ' that is only open for limited time with me!"

"Actually, no boys, I think I'll pass tonight, and I'll stay here and wander around the garden, you guys go out and have fun, bring me some souvenirs".

 After a few moments of disagreement, the crowd vanished, the breeze had scattered them as though they were tree leaves, leaving only a shadowy figure under the tree, in complete silence and loneliness. 

"You should go out and have fun too, MC". 

"I did not feel like it". 

The man sat down by your side, and looked at the reddish sky, it was the closest you could have to a sunset, you looked at it as well, it was pretty but not as much as the stunning sunsets from the human world; you loved the Devildom and you had learnt to think of it as home, but sometimes you really felt homesick about the human world. His gaze met your glistening eyes. 

"May I know the cause of your sorrow?" he asked with a soft voice, despite the fact his usual severity was present, you could tell he was worried, maybe he was afraid that you were not taking care of yourself. 

"I'm not sad". You tried and he rolled his eyes at you.

"I presume you are homesick. Perhaps we could arrange that Diavolo allows you to go to the human world for a week, or a couple of weeks if possible, I consider that would solve any problems regarding your mental health". 

You panted but nodded.

"Whatever, you'll let me know, right? You should go back to work, it looks like it is very important". 

He frowned. 

"You certainly do not seem happy with my resolution, but I'm not able to help you further if you do not tell me what the issue is".

"It's nothing, I mean, what could be wrong? I've always loved to spend my Saturday nights alone in the darkness, I mean, that's what you have a boyfriend for, right? That's just the ideal date: being all alone in the garden while he complies with his owner's orders, and that is as well the perfect definition of a boyfriend, the kind of boy who is working in his office all day and night long, and he ends up being so tired it takes him a second to fall asleep, and in addition, he forgets you exist".

You were not that kind of person, but lately everything felt like too much, he was never around when you needed him, and you had started to feel really bad about it, and yes, maybe you were homesick too, you longed for the human world's summertime.

"I beg your pardon?" Lucifer looked at you, he was confused, and he could not believe you were behaving like this and expressing your feelings in such way. 

"You never spend time with me anymore! I'm tired of being broken hearted, it is like you take me for granted all the time".

 Those words sent a different kind of pain to his chest and a bitter taste to his mouth. Had he been that thoughtless? Had he been so careless? He knew well his six brothers, lower range demons, some of the angels and even Diavolo himself and all members of the student council had fallen for you, and you had chosen him, you were dating him and not the other way round, as much as that expression hurt his pride, he would not care less; and yet, it did not sound like he deserved such honour. 

His face remained calm, but his heart was beating faster than ever. 

"I apologise about that" he whispered, he was almost wordlessly, he could only reach out for your hand as answer. 

"It's ok, I did not mean to throw a hissy fit about that". You said after some moments of silence. "It is not important. Go back to your work, I will listen to your advice, and I will go out and have some fun instead, being locked up here is getting on my nerves".

You let his hand go and rose, then walked towards the house of lamentation, vanished into your bedroom. Lucifer sighed, and returned to his office as well, he left the window open so he could keep an eye at the entrance and at you, he did not think you would dare go out alone despite your words, he was sure you acknowledged how dangerous it was to venture yourself into the blackness of the Devildom streets, but he would like to check in case you did or something else happened.

 The hours in front of the monitor had affected his already tired eyes, he blinked several times, he was almost blind. He rubbed his eyes when a cloud in his eyes came to life, and moved around as if it was an actual being. He approached to the window and noticed it was not an effect of the light, but it was his human going out as he had suggested. But why were you dressed like that? 

A short sparkling dress indicated what your plans were, Lucifer did not want to think too hard about it. He did not want to be possessive, but it was his true nature, he could not help it, and he would be lying if he said that the mere thought of you being seen by everyone like this did not make his blood boil, or maybe it was the thought of you meeting someone attracted by you who would make you think was a better option than he was. Which was another thought he was not being able to bear, even if they were probably right about it.  

"So... are you going out after all?" He had decided to casually interfere, now that he was coming closer his pace was slow, and he was glad you didn't see when he literally ran out of his study so he could get to you before you finally left, his demeanour was calm, but fire flowed through his eyes. 

"I am". You said nonchalantly, hanging your bag on your right shoulder, looking at the pocket mirror in your hand, and approving the way you looked. He approved it too, but he did not approve you were going out and all of those demons got to see you too. 

"May I know where you are going?"

"You have interest in me all of a sudden?" You teased him, with a tiny smile. You had known what his reaction was going to be all along. 

"MC..." 

"Asmo said he had changed his plans and he would be in a bar with some of his acquaintances, I felt like dancing, so see you later, have fun with your work". 

Lucifer looked astonished at you, his mouth and eyes wide open. 

"No" he said, it took him less time than you had expected, it had been a long time since the last time he had talked to you in that way, determination impregnated in his voice. 

"Sorry?" You frowned, looked at him in feigned confusion. 

"You're not going there".

"And why not? Just because you don't want me to go?" You mocked him. 

"Just because you're going somewhere else". 

You frowned again, trying to catch your thoughts because you were now clueless about what his words meant, but he did not hesitate, and soon he had you against the closest wall with no way out, his lips so close to your collarbone, you could feel his warm breath in your skin, sending shivers throughout your body, leaving you like a little inoffensive sheep cornered by a wolf; showing you why he was called the avatar of pride and the ruler of the underworld. 

" You have five minutes. Pack your things up, we're leaving for a whole week".

A smile was drawn on your lips, lightning up yours and Lucifer's faces as well, there was some kind of complicity between the both of you that made your hearts race, then, you bit your lower lip and nodded after he whispered into your ear "it's an order, attendant". 

You did as you had been prompted. You hurried upstairs and got some clothes in your bag, as well as some basic supplies. Soon you had a backpack with you, and you were waiting for Lucifer to knock at your door.

Which he did, sort of. He did not wait for an answer and just entered your room, taking your bag. 

"But what about your work? And Diavolo? And everyone else?, they could get worried if we just leave like this". 

"They'll have to deal with it".

He took your hand in his and hurried out the house of the lamentation, dragging you along with him.

"You did not even tell me where we're going". 

He remained silent, you imagined you were going somewhere near the devildom, but once you saw you were coming closer to the border with the human world, you knew.

"Didn't we need some kind of authorisation from Diavolo to leave the Devildom?" 

Lucifer shrouded. He never stopped until you two were walking down the wet pavement, surrounded only by orange buildings whose white mouldings stood out in the gloom of the night.  You were trying to figure out where you were, but nothing gave you the slightest clue about it. 

You had no option but to follow the man inside the orange building and then to the single bedroom for two. You looked through the window while he arranged everything related to your stay there. You saw the fancy houses and cars parked outside of them, it was really Lucifer like, you did not have a single clue where you were, until the blue and red flag let you know. 

"Is this Mayfair?"

He smiled. 

"You wanted to go to a bar, didn't you?" 

You did not notice when he got rid of his coat, still wearing his devil every day clothes, he forced you to leave again. 

The pub was overflowing with people and loud catchy music, you could get lost in such a crowd at any second, because the lights danced leaving blindness behind. 

Fortunately, the so-called avatar of pride never let go of you, and soon you noticed you two were swinging to the beat of the music in the background, he had placed your arms around his shoulders and his hands held you in place with a grasp on your hips. 

Your body had captivated him, but once your foreheads were close enough, your eyes stole his complete attention, you could see yourself in them, being unknown in such a crowd was revitalizing, his movements let you know he was enjoying himself more than ever, and you realised how much mistaken his brothers were when they thought Lucifer did not know how to have fun. Maybe it was the fact he had already drunk three glasses of wine, you did not expect him to get drunk off human alcohol, considering that demonous was at least fifth times stronger, but he was proving you wrong. 

His always earnest, composed, paper like face, was now cheerful, his sharp teeth stuck out of his lips, as if they were thirsty for blood, your blood. In addition, a distinct gleam was radiating from his eyes, the kind of gleam he had when you were around and you pretended you weren't aware of his gaze, and that he would hide away when he realised you had noticed. This time he was not trying to skulk it, it was in plain sight, as he wanted you to notice. It felt as though he was devouring you using only his eyes, and you could feel your legs shaking, almost making you fall to your knees and hit the floor.

Summer heat impregnated your bodies and your minds, Lucifer's demonic personality stood out on the changing environment surrounding both of you. Your movements had made the two of you get closer. His hands on you lower back, yours in his hair. He would not say it out loud, but you could perceive he was waiting for more, for the next step, but he doubted, because you were sure he did not want to harm you and that was why he would patiently wait, although you were sure, it would not be for so much longer. 

It was your turn to take his hand, to take the initiative to let him know it was fine, you got to the silent streets, where you hailed a taxi, what a blessing the taxi had some kind of compartment and the driver was not able to see the kisses you were stealing from your demon, and how he was devouring your mouth in return. 

The car stopped and you two hurried your way upstairs to the flat Lucifer had got for you, something burned inside you, you wanted to be closer to him, even closer since you were already closer than ever already, your kisses were preventing you from getting to your bedroom, the avatar or pride was slowly ousting the avatar of lust and taking his place. The door opened as if welcoming the two of you. You did not notice when Lucifer was over you, staring with his lustful eyes at you, as if you were his prey with no way to escape. 

You wanted to say something, but your senses were preventing you from thinking, you were not able to remember your actions either, so probably you had managed to say Lucifer's name, because he had also heard a whisper, his name slipping away from someone's lips, he left your neck for a second, leaving the heat behind for a moment, staring at the darkness, something was wrong, something felt odd, he had recognised that voice. 

"For hell's sake..."

You let totally go from Lucifer's grasp and stood up. 

"It's not fair you thought you could have MC all for yourself!"

"And all the fun". Asmodeus seconded Belphegor. 

He rolled his eyes at his brothers, your cheeks reddened, while you were trying to recompose yourself, hoping no one had seen your previous scene. 

"Of course, no one would like to invite the otaku shut in along, I had that coming". 

Lucifer sighed, took his hand to his forehead and rubbed it in frustration, shutting his eyes close. His plans had been spoiled in the worst of ways. 

"What are you doing here?" Lucifer did not try to hide his annoyance. A tiny smile was drawn on Satan's face. 

"How did you know we were here?" You finally asked.

Lucifer got his phone out of his pocket and checked it carefully because Satan's gaze suggested he knew something he did not. 

"We have an alert when you leave for the human world, you know, and as every time you do it you bring MC with you, we just wanted to check she was fine". Satan replied, the cunning smile never fading. 

"So, we should all have a sleepover, since it's too late to go out now".

"Or we could all join Lucifer and MC in their activities, I think they were having fun". 

You blushed again, failing at hiding it and your eyes meeting the floor.

"I think the sleepover would be better, there are always snacks in a sleepover". Beel commented. "And human snacks, which is even better". 

"I think it sounds like a good idea, the eight of us can have fun that way. I'll just go to put my pajamas on". 

You panted once you were alone in your bedroom for the night, even if you pretended a sleepover with all of them was a good idea and you loved all seven of them, you had really been looking forward to spending some time with Lucifer, alone. It tasted as if you had swallowed disappointment. You looked yourself in the mirror and forced yourself to smile.

Throughout the night, Lucifer and you were only able to exchange looks while his brothers were not paying attention, because they would always interfere when you were trying to speak, but with a single blink, he let you know he would find a way. You were trying to focus on the board games, and at the end you managed to have a good time when you were singing karaoke together. None of you knew when you had fallen asleep on the floor. 

The morning came sooner than expected, it was summer, school was supposed to be over, so why were they forced to wake up at that time in the morning? 

"Lucifer, for g- Diavolo's sake, what do you think you're doing silly? We had a blast last night, I have barely slept, and I need my sleeping beauty".  

The demon whose arms were crossed over his chest looked annoyed at them, he was not happy, he was not even joyful, even considering the fact he was getting to punish his brothers, one of the things he enjoyed the most in the world. 

"That's the consequence of leaving without authorisation, Diavolo called me when he noticed none of you were at home, and I had to promise him, this would do some kind of good to the Academy in order to cover the expenses, so we're going to the museum, and you'll submit afterwards a detailed report about it. I've booked tickets for the first tour in the morning, so stop complaining; haste your breakfast and hygiene, we're leaving soon". He looked at his watch in his wrist before speaking again: "and that's in fifteen minutes, so hurry up, or you'll never see the sunlight of the human world ever again, I guarantee you". 

Lucifer's threats were always serious, his punishments would always be something to remember, the crowd showed disapproval during the next fifteen minutes and during the walk towards the museum that took them about thirty minutes, but Lucifer remained silent, he was concentrating on something the others were not able to tell. 

All of them, strolled together along the corridors and through the white marble halls of the museum, the guide explained every single detail in every single painting and sculpture, that outlined human genius from different times and places. There was something about humans, it did not matter where they were from, how they looked like or what language they spoke, they were all the same, just fascinating. All of the demons admired the way they were able to expose their feelings and true colours in those art pieces, it did not take long for them to get lost in the world created by the human's eyes, they soon realised it was as captivating as you were.

A couple of hours passed by in complete calm, Lucifer himself was not able to believe he was having some time in peace, and the weight on his shoulders was slowly vanishing. 

"Lucifer?" A whisper broke the silence everyone was in, it felt as though blood had stained the white veil of the wedding dress everyone dreamed of you wearing in their fantasies. "I cannot find MC". Beelzebub raised his voice, he had not been able to help it, fright and confusion were drawn on his face.

Lucifer finally paid attention to him, now the same expression could be read in his face: bewilderment, if he had to describe it. He looked around, looking for those red cheeks he knew so well.  

"She does not pick her phone either". 

He had been staring at his phone now, he had been thinking of calling you as well, hearing that made him freeze. Even if he knew the human world was safer than the Devildom itself, your whereabouts were always a reason of concern. 

"Remain calm, everyone" Although the one who had to take that piece of advice would have to be himself. "I'll go check with the guard, I'm sure she's in another room or in the toilet, stay together, I don't want more disappearances". 

Everyone remained quiet and silently agreed to his instruction, Beelzebub suggested the tour guide to give them the lunch break at that moment so they could stay together in a single place. The six brothers sat in the museum's café, they were trying to have lunch but instead they kept staring at the entrance, waiting for Lucifer, they expected to see MC by his side wearing a shy smile. 

But that did not happen.

"Now Lucifer is taking an awful amount of time".

"Leave it to me, I'll call him". Mammon suggested after hearing Asmo saying what he was thinking. 

"Beel, why is Lucifer's phone in your pocket?" Satan raised an eyebrow in suspicion. 

"Oh no, he was so worried he forgot about it. And now if he gets lost, he won't be able to enter the food delivery app, he will starve to death". Everyone could see Beel was really worried about that scenario, he even left his chips by his side for a moment, his face showing worry.

"Let's wait a little longer, and then we'll go back to the flat if they don't show up soon". Satan said and everyone agreed in silence.

It was a shame they were trapped inside when the day outside was so beautiful.

"Are you sure we should be doing this?" You asked a bit worried.

"That's why we escaped from the Devildom in the first place, isn't it? Stop worrying about them and enjoy me instead". 

Your cheeks blushed and Lucifer remembered why he had fallen so hard for you, those colours that made you different to anyone else had captivated him. You kept walking together, you were now far away from the museum.

"I know, but they'll be worried, what if they make this bigger than it is?"

"There was no other way, and I would appreciate if you changed the subject, I don't want to think of them at the moment". 

You sighed.

"I thought you were the adventurous kind; you know, the girl studying abroad in the Devildom, falling for the bad guy, you should be enjoying this". He snickered at you, and you rolled your eyes at him, but just after a moment, you joined him and laughed, he was somewhat right. 

You surmised he was completely right after all, and you should enjoy your little adventure by his side, after all, his brothers had been the ones to show up without permission and without invitation and had spoiled your little time off. You took his hand in yours while you walked down the street after reflecting on this. 

The fresh summer breeze was slapping your face, messing with your hair while your eyes fought to stay open, it made you feel at home, at ease, the feeling got stronger when you remembered you were with your lover, as if you were complete, your heart danced, and your blood rushed through your veins to reach it out. 

"Fancy some tea? What? We're in London, aren't we?"

"Are you really offering me tea even considering this heat?"

"Would you rather have an ice cream, instead?" Lucifer said and your eyes shone while you nodded in approval. The both of you reached out to the park, it was greener than ever before, and the trees danced to the beat of the wind, Lucifer got you an ice cream that handed to you, and you suggested to sit down in the swings, he looked at you as if you were one more of his childish brothers, but at the end, he gave up, he smiled once you two were slightly moving back and forth, enjoying the good weather and your dessert. The sound of the tree leaves reminded you of a waterfall, the sun warming your body and the sound of people gave you the sort of relaxation, you had been longing for so long.

"Did you leave your phone at the flat as I advised?"

"They'll find it on the bedroom's vanity". 

"Good, Satan won't be able to track us down this time". 

You shared his devilish smile, knowing you had got your way this time. 

"May I try yours?"

Lucifer frowned at you, your smiling face produced some kind of affection to his chest that changed his behaviour every time, it was weird to be seen in public like that, but no one knew him there, he remembered, so he obliged and fed you with his own ice cream. 

"Try mine..." you made a grimace when he refused. "Don't make me force you". 

"I would like to see you try".

"Sta-"

He groaned, irritated. 

"I can do it. There's no need to do that". 

He licked your ice cream while you chuckled, perhaps you were actually of the adventurous kind. 

"It has a good taste, I think it's almost as sweet as you, although..."

You could not help yourself, seeing his lips move like that, you wished you were the ice cream instead, and therefore, you hurried to steal a kiss from him before he started talking. He blushed, he had not been expecting it, you had caught him off guard, it felt different in comparison to the night before, when you were anonymous, since now everyone around was looking at you two, or at least that's what he thought. 

He froze for a second, his pride sheltering him, as if he was in a bubble, a bubble you were breaking with your daring actions, he was completely red, almost out of control when a light split the sky into two, drops falling from the sky started landing on your faces, lowering the temperature, you looked up, definitely there was a huge storm coming. 

You did not mind, as long as you could keep holding your beloved one as close as you were now, however, he cared, because he stepped away, and took an umbrella from his coat. 

"You didn't bring yours, did you?"

You shook your head. He sighed. 

"We should seek shelter before it's too late, we can continue whatever we were doing there".

You stared at the sky, that morning when you looked at yourself in the mirror you had been glad of your choice of clothes, black shorts and black sneakers with a shirt with hues of red, you felt pretty and according to the summer, now that the sky was graying out, you were regretting your choices for the day, perhaps it was not appropriate enough now for the approaching storm. You looked at your bare legs with worry, but then another thought came to your mind, you noticed you had been wearing matching colours and you failed at hiding a smile when you realised it. 

You did not want to leave but the grasp of Lucifer's hand made you rose and start walking again down the streets, leaving the natural scenario behind.

"You take it" he forced you to take his transparent umbrella, you looked up and noticed how the drops fell on it, it was a nice umbrella, you could not help but smile while seeing the sky above, crying over you. The calm suddenly changed though, since soon you noticed the light rain turned into a heavy downpour. 

"Come here, you're getting wet".  You gestured at the space by your side, under the umbrella.

"I'm fine, you cover yourself". 

"I don't want to look after a sick demon when this is supposed to be fun, unless you're doing this because you're too embarrassed to be seen with me in public, which you could openly tell me, I'm not willing to beg for your attention ever again, we can leave things like this right now". 

Lucifer took a deep breath, and then after a moment of hesitation, a step closer to you, and then passed his arm around your shoulders, while you kept holding the umbrella. 

"If we walk slow enough none of us will be wet". 

"And if I keep you this close you won't be cold". He whispered. 

You smiled, made him stop in the middle of the street and carefully, placed your arms around his neck, leaving another kiss on his lips. The only thing covering you both was the see-through umbrella and the raindrops falling over it.  Everyone around was looking at you and his cheeks were red as were yours, but you could not care less, you liked it when you made him blush. Even if it was only a side effect of his prideful character. 

"You're being very naughty today, aren't you? I think I will have to do something to correct that behaviour". He leaned in and kissed you roughly this time, as if he was trying to demonstrate he could do better than you at being naughty, while he was demonstrating you, he would not care about his perfect image being scratched by you, he had made that decision, even if there was a chance you were encountered by his brothers again showing affection to each other like this. "I missed you, and I promise you, I'll never let work take over my time like this again". 

He looked around after leaving you breathless, people had started to pass you by, ignoring you, however he must have seen something, because he stopped. "They found us". He took your hand and simply started to run without giving you any opinion on the matter, the umbrella no longer preventing the water from getting into you, making your body freeze, almost producing pain, and two minutes later your hair and clothes were soaking wet, leaving you tired after that little race. You took the red bus after you had stopped, although you had no idea where it was going to. 

"I think we lost them again" Lucifer shook his head, plumping up his hair using his hand. Everything in him was hypnotizing and you could not help but admire his wet hair falling over his forehead, his bright red eyes thinking of something you could not imagine, giving him a mysterious look. You could tell there was some kind of malice in his grimace, he was having fun, he was a damn sadist after all.   

"So, who was following us?" You asked trying to get out of your thoughts, trying to remain calm, you looked at the window, attempting to catch a clue of what was happening. 

"My brothers, of course".

"How did they find us?"

Lucifer shrugged as if it was no important at all, and then held your hand in silence for the rest of the trip. 

Some blocks later across the wet London streets, Lucifer held you by the waist, helping you to descend the bus steps so you would not get wet by stepping into the puddles, as if you could get wetter. 

He took you through another narrow hallway, another tall building showing in front of you and covering the sky, and the rain, the only sound that could be heard were your sloppy steps. He led you upstairs, never letting go of your hand, it was silent. You did not stop climbing until you reached out the roof, the wooden door opened before you, leaving the two of you outside, under the no more gray sky, but rather painted in pink and orange hues, due to the fact the sun was coming back.  The view was spectacular, the whole city of London could be appreciated from there, the wind hit your face, reminding you it was not a dream, you were there in flesh and blood. 

"I'm glad it was here on time."

You glanced over at the table by the balcony, there was pizza and chips, as well as some drinks, you noticed then you were actually starving. 

"Be my guest", he gestured and helped you to have a seat. 

You soon were taking a big bite to your pizza slice. The feeling of being chased and your head revolving around was slowly decreasing thanks to the fact you were getting some energy from your meal, and now you were all of a sudden laughing.

"What is it the matter?"

"I cannot believe they followed us all the way here". 

"My brothers have always shown some kind of protective affection towards you, it was just logical, although inconvenient, especially when you're trying to have a date". 

Your face blushed, and then you stared at your pizza.  

"How did you get the food?"

"Beel, he was quite helpful this time... Listen, it might not be the kind of date you were expecting, and I promise you..."

"Stop right there" you cut him off. 

"I only wanted to spend some time with you, some quality time with no paperwork just you and I alone, no matter what we're doing, and I am very fond of pizza, so I won". 

The fairy lights over your head suddenly turned on, as well as the lights coming from the distant city, you could see the reflection of the sun on the Thames, little ships travelling down its course with their bright flags and lights standing out the growing darkness. It was the phenomena you had been missing, one of the few things that the Devildom could not equal, Lucifer admired the landscape as well, it was likewise, one of his favourite things from the human world, the balance between light and darkness, good and evil, just as it was comprised in its inhabitants. 

"I just wanted to make sure you still..." you interrupted yourself, leaving the sentence unfinished, as if you were choosing the correct words to deliver your message.

"I still and I will always love you, MC". 

You could not help but smile even wider, you were not able to look at his eyes, you felt like a teenager again, maybe even worse, your legs shook every time you thought of him, your checks reddened when you saw him, and your voice stuttered when you talked to him.  You wanted to tell him you loved him as much, but for some reason you could not get the words out of your mouth.

" I love you too, Lucifer". You finally managed to whisper.

Some fresh music started to sound in the background as if magic had produced it. 

"You wanted to dance, didn't you? We've been interrupted every time".

He rose before you could say anything, and dragged you along, soon he had you spinning around the floor, you both laughing because it was something embarrassing (even more embarrassing for the avatar of pride), although you decided he was just enjoying himself as much as you were, which was not usual for him, and you concluded that once in a while, leaving his brothers without surveillance in the middle of the human world creating chaos, was not that bad. 

Your body danced to the rhythm of the music for longer than you imagined; his grip on your waist, your hands around his neck, his perfume invading your senses, even standing out the smell of petrichor, the gift that rain had left for you; the sun had totally set when you separated your dreamy eyes from his, and the moon was now shinning over your heads, with its silver light falling over you, casting living shadows over the floor, the stars were sparkling as much as your eyes were. Your hearts were racing, he was not able to take his eyes off you, or his hands, you were both in some kind of trance, you were sure he had managed to cast some sort of spell on you because your brain was not able to command your limbs, they were only controlled by the electricity of his contact. 

 You did nothing to stop him when his kisses became warmer and more intrusive, or when his hands fought the resistance of the fabric of your clothes; your breath hitched in your chest due to the anticipation with every single kiss and touch, you let yourself fall into his trap of love and seduction, letting the sparks fly in the middle of the fire and the rain. That night, you allowed him to take over your body and soul, you were his prisoner, and you did not want to escape. 

 The music produced by the scattered raindrops on the glass roof woke you up, it was late, but not that late, the stars were still visible, and the sunlight was barely perceived in the horizon. Everything was quiet, then you remembered who you were with when you felt his warm embrace and soft breath under you. 

"Don't leave".  He said, showing some kind of vulnerability he would have hidden if he had been fully awake, that made you heart melt as he had done with your mind and body just a few hours ago, he would not say it out loud, but his heart was completely strung out. "I need your angel eyes". 

You snickered and hugged him back. After that night you would not be able to leave him ever again even if you tried. Why had you waited so long to elope?

 You softly kissed his lips. It took several minutes for you to get up, none of you wanted to let go the other, but at the end, the responsible side of Lucifer finally showed up. So, you were forced you took a shower, while he took care of making breakfast. 

You fixed your appearance in front of the mirror. Lucifer casually walked in to inform you "It's time for breakfast, and then we'll have to leave" and held you from behind and kissed your cheek, then you two stared at each other in the mirror, your faces looked filled with joy and Lucifer particularly, looked as if he had come back to life after being dead for some centuries.   

You nodded. Something was wrong with Lucifer today because he was spoiling you too much, the English breakfast before you was not only appetizing to your eyes, but also to your tastebuds. 

"The breakfast was amazing". You smiled at him once you had finished. 

"I am glad to hear you enjoyed it". He nodded behind his cup of black coffee. 

"Thank you". You smiled at him and he, as a natural effect, smiled back at you. "I enjoyed this little trip. Even if it was just a night, instead of the seven days you had promised". 

"I apologise about it, I will find a way to compensate it". 

You agreed with his statement, you would have liked to stay longer, to do something else, but it was time to go. 

The way back on the bus was calm, people was minding their own business and you enjoyed the trip looking at the buildings and the crowds outside. 

"Who was following us before we took the bus yesterday?"

Lucifer chuckled and you raised an eyebrow.

"No one was following us, I just sort of felt creative".

You hit his arm and laughed. 

"I knew your brothers weren't capable of doing so, they are good boys, you just have to be a bit more patient with them". 

"What are you, their lawyer?"

"Please?"

 He sighed. 

"Fine, but you'll be responsible for their bad behaviour if you insist on defending them". 

You nodded. You knew they would get into trouble often, but it was part of the fun. And most of the times it was nothing serious. 

You soon arrived to the Mayfair place where you had first arrived the previous night, a crowd was reunited there and there were some ambulances as well, the street was automatically cosed and Lucifer had to double check it was the correct street, hoping it was the incorrect one, but deep down knowing it was not, he could almost see the scene before his eyes: he could see Mammon starting the problem, Levi and Asmo panicking about it, Beel being too busy eating to notice, Belphie smelling the smoke and deciding it was not worthy enough to wake up, Satan rolling his eyes. Lucifer moved his head in disapproval, sighed in frustration and wasted no time and started to think of an appropriate punishment, whereas you almost fell in his arms when you finally realised the flat and the whole building where you had been staying had been burnt to dust, and it had only taken them a night alone. 

"I'm glad you'll get to do the cleaning this time, my little apple-pie". Lucifer whispered into your ear, when you finally met the dusty faces of his six brothers, then he chuckled.  

Definitely, you would look for a way to stop acting as their attendant and- what? Lucifer had called you his little apple-pie? For some reason you decided to change your mind. Maybe you could wait a bit longer and keep up with your duties as their attendant.  

-

The way home was as bittersweet as the chemistry that produced those strange feelings inside him towards you because Lucifer was mad at his brothers, and they were fearing for their fate and the punishment Lucifer would give them but there was as well an unobtrusive smile drawn on his lips because of the memories of your previous night together. He was less severe this time, maybe because of what you had told him or maybe for some other reason you were not able to tell, but maybe it was the happiness you two were sharing and weren't able to hide away. With time things settled down, life became what it used to be before your little adventure, although you weren't wretched anymore and every time and then, when Lucifer noticed he was not giving you enough attention he would find a way to have some time alone with you, he would count the days until he could bring you back to him. 

"Are you going to sleep or are you going to stare at me all night?" You said, you were not able to sleep because he was not sleeping either and you could feel his red eyes on you even in the dismal darkness. 

"Your picture haunts me in the dark while I'm falling asleep, it is not my fault". He sometimes felt like a rag doll, whose pieces belonged to you, and you could manipulate as you wished, and for some odd reason he was fine with it, he had given in, and stopped trying ways to turn it around. 

"Oh, shut up, if we want to ride the London eye, we'll have to wake up early". You softly smiled and hugged him, truth be told, you weren't able to escape him anywhere either, not even in your dreams. He kissed your scalp and closed his eyes, you were right. 

This was the first day of your second trip together and you could not wait for the adventures to come by Lucifer's side, under the rain in the misty town of London. 

- Note: I took the idea of the pet name "apple pie" from some post here on Tumblr because I found it adorable, I just cannot remember who was the user who came up with it, so, if you're the one, let me know to give you credit here :3

[lightyearssurrogatedaddy]

"whys Ink n Error drawn together so much it's so annoying" oh cm'on you can't be serious right now it's the funniest shit ever

[ocelotrootbeer264]

Just an Idea (2)

"Why don't you go in..?" Smg3's voice sounded dark.

Smg4 felt uneasy and shivers down his spine.

Smg3 is so close to Smg4, that Smg4 can feel his cold breaths.

"I don't know," Smg4 stared at the dark room, "I don't know that I should go in there..."

Smg3 let out a dark giggle. "Cm'on... you don't trust me? I will follow you behind..."

"Of course I trust you!"

With that being said, Smg4 slowly walked into the dark room.

That moment he is in the dark room, he heard a slam from behind.

He quickly looked over to see the door closed.

His eyes widen when he heard the door did a click. That's the sound of the door locked.

Smg4 rushed to the door and pounded on it.

"SMG3 OPEN UP!" Smg4 screamed.

Silence.

"SMG3 PLEASE! THIS ISN'T FUNNY!" Smg4 screamed and pounded on the door.

Silence hung into the air.

Smg4 started to cry and slowly sat down to the cold hard floor.

"Why.... 3...?" Smg4 said. He can only let out a whisper.

------------

Hours went by.

Hungry.

Smg4 scanned the room.

He grab some wood and eat it.

--------

Days went by.

'Smg3.... I.... Hate you.... so much...' Smg4 thought.

He is so hungry that you could see his ribs through his shirt.

In the corner of his eye, he found a pair of gardening scissors.

He grabbed the scissors.

"Oh well... Not like I'm going to use this arm anyway..." Smg4 said as he cut his whole arm.

He didn't care about the pain. He knew he is just going to rot away in the dark room.

He ate his own arm.

Tasting the warm metal.

He ate the whole arm.

---------

He laid on his side.

Blood oozing on the ground.

"Smg3.... I hate you so much" Smg4 only whispered.

"I hope you burn in hell..." Smg4 whispered again and closed his eyes.

And all Smg4 heard before he soul left his body...

Was a music box...

[icharchivist]

Cags figured the only way to hurt the Phoenix would be to use the power of the Omnipotent, and since Raziel can basically use any power she has seen before with her book, Cags is pushing her to manifest the energy of God. Raziel is doubtful about her abilities tho. And then.

AND THENNNN BAD BITCH ENTRANCE LIKE ALWAYS I SEE LU WOH

cm'on dude you can say you care a little,we won't judge you.

but damn you dragons lost to a bird. rough.

[cyandocs]

My brother and I constantly head cannon about future GoW games by looking into the regions that seemed to be hinted in the fourth game AND other Norse mythos and one thing I think that would totally track is Atreus using the same last name Loki does because he seemed to rarely follow the tradition of going for the male-descendant name (see: Thor Odinson, Thrud Thorsdoter) but INSTEAD often went by Loki Laufeyson. And honestly with how much heat Kratos probably has, even if he's not known by name (also just generally being dodgy about his past) that he would INSIST not to be a part of that tradition from Atreus' birth, so maybe he has in fact always been Laufeyson.

Also I really hope Sleipnir makes an appearance as a mount somehow. I know designing/animating an eight-legged horse would be HARD, but. Cm'on. Horsey.

[popculturebuffet]

Monthly Muppets: The Muppets Take Manhattan: Meh In Mahattan (Comissioned by Emma Fici

Hello all you happy people and welcome back to Monthly Muppets, your slice of monthly muppety madness funded by readers like you.. you specifically Emma Fici, my friend who funds these and picks out each months selection.

Today we look at the iconically titled Muppets Take Manhattan. While they weren't the first to take the big apple, their the ones who popularized it with everyone from jason to ghostface having taken it ever since. I mean I assume that'll be Scream 6's title , why else set it in new york. C'mon paramount, cm'on radio silence, let it be Ghostface Takes Manhattan. Me's in the area concur it's a great title. Their your target demographic: Aging orangutans who watch a lot of dead meat and children's cartoons!

Yeah! I feel good about this. So on that high Muppets Take Manhattan is notable for a lot of reasons: It's the last film in what i'm now calling "The Henson Trilogy", the three films starring Kermit and Co done while Jim was still alive, the ones most people think of when they think Muppets movie (along with Christmas Carol and Treasure Island), and some of the works that helped define the troupe outside of the muppet show.

This film is also notable for being the solo directing debut of Muppet maestro and mean green mother from outer space Frank Oz, who co-directed Dark Crystal with Henson. With a massive workload and pure exaustion from directing two films back to back, and that's on top of launching Fraggle Rock around the same time. He needed a second to catch his breath so he put the operation in Frank's first class hands.

This film also had a notable absence: Jerry Juhl, long time muppets writer and the man who wrote the previous and next two films. He was a supervisor down at Fraggle Rock (Clap clap) Down at Fraggle Rock, so it fell on his other Great Muppet Caper Co-Writers, Jay Tarses and Tom Patchett to pick up the pace. Problem was they went in the same direction as caper and while I would've loved that, Frank wanted something more grounded, especially after Caper didn't do great at the box office. So he went in and rewrote himself, and the resulting film was a more grounded take. So what was it all about?

Taking Manhattan

MTM follows our heroes. LIke Caper it recasts them this time as recent graduates of Danforth College, whose graduation show, Manhattan Melodies, was a massive hit. So with big starry dreams in their eyes they take it to broadway.. and instead of taking Manhattan more get taken to the curb BY Manhattan. After a few or so stoppings Kermit is at the end of his rope and snaps at everyone else, who decide the best thing to do is to scatter to the four winds while he writes it. I get their trying not to pressure him but like.. they don't have to leave New York. And it's REALLY dickish they all pressure PIggy into seemingly doing the same despite no reason to. She's Kermit's girlfriend here, not his stalker or some strange he falls in love with all over again. He doesn't HAVE to be cut off from everyone to get a needed break.

So they leave with a very sad, beautiful ballad i'll get to in a moment, and Kermit starts working with Jenny, a kind human played by Juliana Doland, who doesn't have a ton of credits to her name but does a pretty good job. She's thorughly upstaged by Pete, Jenny's dad and diner owner constantly fed up with everyone's nonsense whose hiring of Kermit and a bunch of rats recommended by Rizzo, in his first major role in a muppet production as Pete's waiter, with…

The Rats are a great addition though and the scnee with them cooking in the kitchen (People were uncomfortable with them as waiters) is a thing of beauty, creative, fun and clearly taking a lot of wizardry. It also turned out the simplest solution was the best a lot of the time: they found out just using actual butter for one of the rats to skate on worked best, and most amusingly , an attempt to make fake pancake batter ATE THROUGH THE BOWL and actual batter was fine just fine. If that isn't the most muppets thing I ever heard I don't know what is.

So Kermit tries to get the film made, gets hugs from Jenny and Piggy stalks them both from afar in a trenchcoat because apparently they needed to make her even creepier than she already was, while kermit ocasoinally gets a letter from anothe rmuppet elsehwere in the country. This pattern repeats for 40 minutes. I'm not kidding.

It's the film's main problem: Plot wise it just.. goes about nowhere for most of the film. The first 20 minutes have pretty brisk pacing: Our heroes perform their college thesis, try to get the show made nearly get conned by a BAD MAN BAD MAN BAD MAN, then decide to go their seperate ways so kermit can focus on the play without worrying about them. It's fairly dense, still has plenty of jokes (Again BAD MAN BAD MAN), and works.

But the middle is just.. nothing. Most comedy films have a somewhat loose plot, but said plots serve as the motor. Using some of my faviorite movies as an example first off we have Wayne's World. Wayne's World HAS a plot, our two heroes get picked up from Cable Access to regular TV and have to deal with the exec who picked up the shows ulterior motives. We also have Wayne's building relationship with Cassandra which dovetails into said Exec threatening it. A clear a and b plot with some other stuff mixed in. Is said plot what most people think about Wayne's World? No, they think of bohemian rhapsody, the bugs bunny gag, Wayne speaking Cantonese with Cassandra, the sponsorship scene, Alice Cooper, "it seemed superfluous at the time". Rob Lowe is great in that section, but it's at it's core just a way to get from one joke to the next and to give the plot a semblance of flow. There are plenty of scenes like our heroes playing hockey, going to see allice cooper and shopping for Wayne's Dream guitar while Garth does a sweet solo that have nothing to do with said plots, but are all memorable and charming. While there are comedies that are tightly plotted as heck, and that's fine, at the least you just need a plot to keep the momentum.

The purest example of this is True Stories, the David Byrne classic and his only directorial outing. It's mostly just vignettes of various things around the town of Virgil, Texas as they prepare for their celebration of specialness. But it still has connective tissue in the various characters, and the through line plots of David Byrne in a Cowboy Hat narrating to us and John Goodman's attempts to find a wife who loves his basic panda bear shape.

Here the plot doesn't really make things go and things just aren't zany or surreal enough, like true stories, to really make it work. It's too grounded for the plot to be this thin and even teh far less grounded caper and after it most wanted had far snappier plots to compensate for being batshit insane. It's just "Kermit tries zany scheme to get the play accepted" (and not nearly enough though him with an afro wig, gold tooth and pick velvet suit was a fucking riot, as was the whisper campagin0, "Piggy stalks him", "stuff happens" and then he just .. falls into getting the plan accepted by an up and coming producer. He works HARD sure but it dosen't feel like there was any real progress sin his attempts. One just works.

The plot just feels unengaging as a result: I DO want Kermit to succed and he is trying hard but there's no escalation to his work or real flow. And Piggy's jealousy is mostly resolved when they just.. talk and she realizes he wans't cheating on her which could've been resolved in five minutes. It feels like , in part thanks to Emma telling me this, Oz wanted to immitate the screwball comedis of hollywood, scaling things back to just our leading man and lady and a few characters. But that's just not what the muppets is. The muppets aren't scaled back they go all in. Even the more serious flims like Treasure Island, Christmas Carol and The Muppets still have plenty of chaos and character. This film just feels like Frank Oz trying to fit a muppet peg into a normal film hole. It's telling most of his films after this weren't all that fantastical and even his next, his masterwork and one of my faviorite films Little Shop of Horrrors, was still grounded in the humans and their actions and a morality tale. Frank OZ was great with playing muppets, Miss PIggy for all the faults I have with how she treats Kermit is still a fun character when used right and Yoda is yoda, but it's clear his heart wasn't in telling muppet stories by himself. And that's okay. It's better he played to his strengths than tried to be something he wasn't and let those who wanted to do it. It makes for a sloppily paced film, but it allowed him to learn the lesson early and get on to doing films he wanted.

That said there ARE a lot of great gags. While Frank is out of his element here, it dosen't mean he's not still part of the troupe. This isn't a TERRIBLE muppets film. Frank still gets enough for it to be enjoyable: Kermit with a gold tooth and afro, Piggy and Joan Rivers make up laughing fit, the penguins asking for a job.. this plot is still packed with good bits, it's just not as consitent tone wise is all

Even the eventual resolution to Miss PIggy stalking kermit because that's normal and not at all a red flag is a banger: While stalking Piggy gets caught on a poll and has her purse stolen. So we get the GOOD side of piggy as she borrows some skates from Gregory Hines, and CHASES THE FUCKER DOWN FOR A GOOD FEW MINUTES The guys other terror and surprise as she KEEPS FINDING HIM is fucking amazing. I love it. The best part though is after as Gregory tries to get his skates back while Piggy and Kermit fight "I'll just unlace these while you fight" getting overly involved in their argument before deciding they can just keep the skates "I just like to wear these shorts". Gregory Hines is this film's mvp. In fact that gives me an idea. You'll see

Kermit does eventually land a broadway gig

So with the muppets reassembling and bringing everyone they met along, they try and find him. This last third is the best part of the film as we get the whole gang back together while Kermit gets his legs stretched, wonders who he is and then wanders into getting an advertising gig. Seeing Kermit as a straight laced executive is hilarious. I don't know what voice Jim is doing here but i love it.

THe resolution is also great as our heroes end up finding him at the diner and having to straight up kidnaping him with Kermits new frog friends not really bothered ("If that's how they treat customers no wonder they don't get a lot of repeat buisness" ) though it takes Piggy saying they were in love to get him over it. oh no no the love part, Amnesia!Kermit laughs so hard and is such a delightful dick about it (Even going Sooeeeeee while the rest of the cast gape in horror) that Piggy understandably decides to murder him. Thankfulyl Kermit surivvies, is restored and we get two great numbers in a row as our heroes are married…. kinda. It's left vauge if the preist really is really real or not. The wedding is also wonderful with every other muppet showing up. And I mean EVERY ONE. Kermit's old Sesame street friends, every member of the troupe and even uncle traveling matt. It's a wonderful capper to a fairly.. eh film.

Yeah before we move onto the music as you can see Muppets Take Manhattan is.. okay. The plot is very stalled and way too grounded, but it has enough truly all timer muppet jokes and songs to make it watchable. It's a decent watch but not one i'd really come back to. Speaking of songs

Manhattan Melodies

The songs for Take Manhttan are the other pillar that makes up for the pacing. Every song is a classic and every musical number great. Admitely it's part of act 2's major problems, as the songs are mostly in act's 1 and 3, with only one number in act 2, but when we get a song their great. Sadly they havne't been released, likely due to rights issues, but the original album did get a grammy nomination so . t.her'es that. Hopefully we can get one eventually for now though let's break down these classics

We start with an all time classic, Together Again, the final number of manhattan melodies in it's orignial starkid-esque form. Together Again is truly amazing, a wonderful song about reconnectiong, reunion and hapiness.

You Can't Take No For an Answer is a fun electric mayhem number with a slightly melancholy beat underscoring our heroes failed attempts to make it on broadway. EM always tends to have some of the best songs , with Can You PIcture That probably being my faviorite from The Muppet Movie, so its no suprise they slap here.

Saying Goodbye fucking broke me. A truly sad number as our heroes all seperate, it really gets the feeling of parting with someone down pat and hurts even more knowing we'd loose Jim Henson and Richard Hunt all too soon after this. Hauntingly beautiful.

Rat Scat slaps, some fun as the rats cook int he kitchen which should be gross but it's charming. Wonder if Rattouie was at all inspired by this. Food for thought. Pun welcomed.

I"m Always Gonna Love You is a fun rocking ditty. I consider it the weakest of the film's tracks.. but it's no chilly down in terms of a quality drop. I just like it SLIGHTLY less than the others because it goes on a bit longer than necessary. That's all. This is also for some reason a sequence starring the Muppet Babies, who would be so popular they'd get their own show

We then get Right Where I Belong, which embarasingly I first remember hearing in a commercial even though i'd seen this movie before (and mostly forgot it apart from Mad Men!Kermit) , but is probably my faviorite, it's snappy, happy and really fits Kermit coming back and finally having everyone else. It's got that good old fashioned broadway style that really fits the films tone. I love it.

Finally we have Somebody's Getting Married/Waiting For The Wedding/ He'll Make Me Happy, a lovely ballad and show stoppin number as our heroes gather for the wedding of Kermit and Piggy. Which again she might of tricked him into which is..

But hey the music is nice. And with that we have two final pieces of

Film Ranking

As i've done since the last review, it's time to see where the film ranks compared to the other muppet films and specials i've covered so far and well.. this one's probably going to piss a LOT of people off

(ranking)

Keep in mind the gap is WIDEEEE between those last two. But despite expecting some backlash, I stand by this. The other films sans Trashfire of Oz are all paced MUCH better and while from Space is mostly just okay, it has more heart to it and better jokes. This one ALMOST inches it out for the songs, but in the end I just in good concious can't put it above the more solid film.

Muppet MVPS:

I've decided after Gregory Hines outstanding performance to start giving out awards, dead meat stylez please don't sue james I love you man, for the best human and muppet performance. This section will be longer than most as to head off Kevin asking me what the others would've been, because I know my friend and I know like me he's a very through dork, and to keep this feature introduced a ways in consitent, i'm going to give out the ones for previous films and episodes too. I also thought of the idea to award best cameo just as I was almost done soooo

Take Manhattan: Muppet MVP: Kermit gets our first as his various shenanigans and seeing him more as hustler than his normal put upon everyfrog is just fantastic. Hines-Grodin Award For Best Human: Gregory not only gets the first award but gets it partly named after him, as he's the one who inspired me to do this. He just perfectly fits in and his bit will live in my head rent free form now on.

From Space: Muppet MVP: Bobo. I mean i'ts hard not to give it to him every time as Bobo just slaps, but he works here as Jeffrey Tambour's foil and gets a great payoff sabotaging the guy's gun. Hines-Grodin Award: This is a hard one. Do I give it to David Arqutte, the most dangerous man alive or Ray Liotta? In the end Liotta gets it for his great brain dead performance post memory wipe. David is good as always but his roll really goes nowhere. Best Cameo: HINES. Joan Rivers comes close but come on.

Wizard of Oz: Muppet MVP: Kermit. Not throughout the main part of the film, but for the Quinten Tarintnio Sequence. He looks so afraid for his life it's awesome. Hines-Grodin Award: Again Quinten Tarintino. In a film that nearly killed my soul his sudden cameo brought life and muppet energy back into it. God bless you you very weird very terrifying man. Best Cameo: Once again, mr. tarintino.

Muppet Caper: Muppet MVP: Going to have to go with Beau for the cart stunt. Chefs kiss that was awesome. Hines Grodin Award: The man who named the award himself Charles Grodin. I feel he deserves this both for his untimely passing and for setting the standard for Human performers in the films. WHile he wasn't the FIRST , he certainly madea lasting impression. I mean what other actor would be so game as to sing an opera to Miss Piggy? Cameo Award: the guy who played columbo, both for his increasingly insane guess and Kermit's iconic response "Amazing what you said was 100% wrong. Nothing you've said has been right"

Muppets Tonight: Muppet MVP: Gonzo for the Dancing With Myself number. All time great in muppets history there. Hines Grodin Award: Obviously the reason I watched the ep and reviewed it, the late, great Gilbert Gottfried as Kermit's date/creepy fan, though Dennis Quaid was REALLY good. But Gilbert was born for this.

Muppet Show Star Wars: Muppet MVP: Angus Macgonagle, the Gargoyle Who Gargles Gershwin Gorgeously. Human MVP: Kinda obvious but Mark Hamill. He's terrific both as luke and as himself. I"d expect no less.

Labyrinth: Muppet MVP: This is a close race between Ludo and Sir Didymus but in the end his good sirship pulls out just ahead. He's just so fun and i'm amazed they got the puppet so tiny yet detailed and movement oriented. Nicely done. Human MVP: David. Fucking. Bowie. Need I say more? Need I REALLY say more or justify this one? Cameo Award: Uh jim I guess for appearing in the opening scene. Otherwise i'm saving these most for the muppet movies

Most Wanted: Muppet MVP: Constantine. Steve Whitmire doing a weird as hell kermit voice and the scene with the jaws kill me. Human MVP: This is a REALLY hard one. Ty Burrel, Ricky Gervais and Tina Fey ALL fucking bring it to grodin levels. So picking one is hard. But I have to go with Ty. His deliberatley over the top french accent, great chemistry with same and antics are just all so damn hilarous, though Ricky Gervais wearing a lemur suit and Tina Fey always knwoing hwere you are do come up close, I gotta give it to Ty. Cameo Award: A decent suply of candiates, including Stanley Tuci as the cheerful watchtower guy, but the winner is Usher as an Usher. IT's a stupidly obvious and stupidly brilliant gag.

Treasure Island: Muppet MVP: Dead Tom. He's dead! Human MVP: TIM CURRY. NEED. I. SAY. MORE. Cameo Award: Dawn French as the landlady "How does she do that? So with that the takes manhattan review is on the books. Thanks for reading and if you enjoy the film feel free to do so. This is one orangutan shaped man's opinon.

Next Time: We're dancing in the moonlight for spooky season as we review last year's Muppet's Haunted Mansion. OOOOOOOOO

[human-south-of-north-pole]

UI Design Tip:

Don't do this

Cm'on at least put a spinner on there