#clutching my chest and falling dead on the ground rn | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hausofmamadas · 2 years ago

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You’re a fucking genius. Whatever, I don’t even care anymore. I have nothing left in me.

═

✷ He’s probably dead, right? You probably left him to die. Shirt splattered with red, arm stretched across the concrete. Gun just out of reach.

Me at the end of the last fic skdjdjdjd not realizing there was a part 2, like there is no way that mf is still alive except when I remember your Lalo fic and how you tricked me into thinking that mf was totally alive for half the fic when it turns out he was fuckifnsjhrhreheb dead the whole time, it’s fine. I’m not concerned about the potential psychological warfare I’m wading into, nopenopenope

✷ The last you saw of him, he was alive. In control. Not scared in the slightest, as far as you could tell, so that’s what you’ll remember. What you’ll cement as fact. Alive, uninjured. Unrecognisable to the man you thought you knew, but not dead, at least.

GODDDDDDDDD THE FACT THAT THEYRE TRTING TO WILL HIM ALIVE LIKE LYING AWAKE IN BED AT NIGHT, LITERALLT NOTHING IS WORSE THAN WISHING THAT SOMEONE WHO’S NOT AROUND ANYMORE COULD STILL BE AROUND, LIKE NOTHINT IS MORE INDICATIVE OF GUT WRENCHING LOSS AND ITS ONLY MADE WORSE BY THE FACT THAT READER AND I DONT EVEN KNOW WTF HAPPENED TO HIM ugggghhhdhdhdhhs also honorable mention: slapping you back and forth like we’re in a novela for the “what you’ll cement as fact” bc how very fuckign dare you

✷ A lifetime of wondering, then. That’s what you’ve been cursed with.

actually PHYSICALLYYYYY clutched my chest reading this

✷ You won’t sleep all night, wondering if he’s alive, wondering if it was a mistake to try and know him, and then in the morning, you’ll dress. Open the shop. Sell string bags and sunglasses to tourists, then go home and wonder again.

Can you see how well I’m doing not copy/pasting the entire fucking fic rn??!??????? LIKE REALLY DOING SO GREAT AT IT, A+ FOR ME this is not what failure looks like but the selling string bags and sunglasses to tourists, like once again, just trying to muscle thru a loss like that, and specifically an ambiguous loss where you’re liek “am I even allowed to be upset about this? ... probably not” so you’re just sweating and cringe smiling for Jesus bc if you allow the muscles of your face to relax into any other expression, you’ll literally burst into tears and send perfect strangers fleeing for the exit to avoid the sobbing basket case who supposedly owns this store. I mean do I personally have any experience with anything like this??? Ofc course not. But can I see how, maaaayyybeeee, possiblyyyyyyyyt, a person could pooteeeeentialllyyy feel that way. 10000% 🤫 these are not falsehoods in any way whatsoever

✷ You were half a breath away from falling for him. And the whole time, he was entwined in something dangerous enough to put you at risk. Real, true harm, only a car crash away.

AREEEEEEEEEEEEYOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFUUUUCKINGKGGJTJJRJRJRKIIIIIIIDDDINGMMMEE YOU WERE HALF A BREATH AWAY FROM FALLING FOR HIM????????!!!;!;!4!!44 LEGITIMATELY FUCKING DISGUSTED AT HOW FIRE OF A LINE THAT IS, LIKR AVTUAL GENUINE DISGUST, I ALMOST CHUCKED MY PHONE LIKE IT WAS A HOT POTATO, I AM NOT EVEN EXAGGERATING

✷ It was cowardice, really, keeping it from you for his own sake. It made him a coward. Or stupid. Head so far in the clouds, he thought you’d never see the ground.

SKSKSKSKKSS I snorted so loud at this roast bc as dreamy as Moi is, tbis is also him, to a fucking tee

✷ Prolonged, this time, because whoever’s pressing it, down on street level, isn’t relenting. They’re just holding it and holding it, and it’s echoing off the walls either side of you, so loud it’s making you cringe. Wince.

Okay, I’m there right now bc this is monstrously descriptive (cariñoso) and I have a headache already

✷ 'Cariño,’ he replies, tinny through the box. It sounds like he’s panting, hissing the words out. It could be the connection. You can’t remember how it sounded before now, how people besides him, right now, spoke through it. ‘Let me in.’

YOU CANT REMMEBER HOW IT SOUNDED BEFORE NOWWWWWJDJDIEINESBSIEJWOXOSNNW9/&2&293&4 I SWEAR TO CHRIST IMMACRUALLY GOING TO MURDER FOR THIS BC ONCE AGAIN, SUCH TANGIBLE LITTLE MOMENTS LOKE CORNERSTONES OF AMBIGUOUS LOSS, LIKE ARE YOU TRYING TO HURT ME!!!!!!!!!!:$:&3!3&3 HAVENT YKU DONE ENOUGH IN THE YEAR WEVE BEEN FRIENDS GOOD GODDAMN

✷ You’re swinging from the door before he can ask again. Leave it open, to save time when you come back. It’s late enough in the night that you don’t have to worry about neighbours, and you’re only on the first floor, only one communal stairwell away from him.

nononononononooooooononono don’t do that, don’t leave it open, like I completely get the logic but Romeo whoever is after him is probably an actual fucking psycho, dontdoitdontdoit plsplspls, god I am grinding my teeth, THE SHEER DREAD

✷ The t-shirt and gym shorts you’re wearing were never meant to leave the home, were never meant to be seen, by him of all people, riddled with moth holes and paint. It doesn’t matter. He needs you.

The funny thing about this is I actually think the domestic, regular?ness of this? Moi would be so fucking hot for sosksksks like it’s just so completely outside what he sees all the time, like taking a field trip to a place you’ve never been, and yes, in the real world, we wear big ass t shirts and boxers to sleep in

✷ The latch on door at the bottom sticks, for a moment. You rattle it free, desperate, then lug the huge timber open to get at him.

So, I’ve like never been to Spain before but I can picture exactly what this looks like and I just love the attention to detail, that you’ve like captured the different architecture that a flat in Spain would have vs like the US, or Mexico, or the UK, like where most of the other fandoms you write for take place. Bien hecho, mi comadre, lo ves bien

✷ He’s alive, standing in front of you, and alive. You can’t wait until the door’s shut again, you have to hug him, have to feel his heartbeat against your own.

YOUUUUUDHDIEHWBWNSOKSMAPWMENE HAVETOFEELHISHEARTBEATAGAINSTYOUROWN LIKE FUCKKKKKKKKKK OOOOOOFFFFFFFFFF WITH IT OKAYYY?????BBBSJSJSJE

✷ He pushes a shaky breath, taking a half-step into the entry way. ‘Please.’ His cleaner hand shifts from your collar, to sit on your shoulder for support. ‘Upstairs, cariño.’

So likeksskeksksksks when I take this sentence entirely out of context, like so, can we all just moment of silence at how actually blindingly sexy the description of his hand sliding from collarbone to shoulder is *bows head, closes eyes* ...... and amen

✷ You can only hope he’s making the right decision again, choosing you over the medical staff he so obviously needs.

SKKPPPPPDFTTTTTTTKDKDKDK IM ACTUALLTKTJFJD FUCKIGN CHOKING BC THIS JUST SMACKS SO MUCH OF “wait, come again???? So, you’re picking me over the hospital?? God fucking help you, my dude” SKSKS

✷ He’s heavier than you expected, all limp, tired muscle, that fights you with every step. If you didn’t have to, life or death, you wouldn’t manage it.

Idk what it is about the tacit self-awareness that liek were it not a life-or-death-scenario, this rock solid hunk of muscle would probably be an immovable obstacle just grounds this in so much reality a way that makes me angry bc it’s so well-written and snaps me into the urgency of the situation in a way that is actively causing a nervous system reaction despite the fact that I know none of it is real

✷ Your door is in sight, wide open and ready for you.

GODDDDDKDJDJ NOT THE DOOR WIDE OPEN, IM MUCH AFEARED

✷ There’s blood on his chin, streaking down his neck. Everything he touches is marked with it.

What is wrong with me don’t answer that, we already know it’s everything that I read this and immediately was like ................. aight, hot. KEKW

✷ There’s a hole in his stomach, staring back at you, leaking blood that’s almost black.

GODDDDSSSMJJJJJJJJJJJ SHUTT TF UPPPPPPPPOO I HATE YOU THIS IS SO FUCKINGKDJDJEJEHWBEJDHDBE VISCERAL AND TANGIBLE AND INSPIRED AND I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOU AND I LOVE YOU AND I HATE YOUUUUUUUVSHEB

✷ He tries to smile, nodding. ‘It’s easy, okay? I’ll talk you through it.’

I can fuuuuullllyyyyyyyy fucking see this so clearly and it’s the most charming smile, to the point I want to slap it off his face bc no, despite his efforts to console Reader DIGGING A FUCKINT BULLET OUT OF SOMEONE’S ABDOMEN WITHOUT PUNCTURING A MAJOR ARTERY IS NOT ALL HAHAHAHAHA EASY, ESE MENSO ME ESTÁS BROMANDO????

✷ No matter how thorough you are, it still won’t work, you still won’t be clean enough to root about in his stomach.

See, Reader knows what’s real

✷ 'Tranquilo,’ he sighs. ‘Tenemos tiempo.’

‘Do we?’ you bark back at him, flicking water as you shut off the tap. ‘You look like you’re fucking dying, Moisés.’

ONCE AFAINSKSKSJSJDDJ READER KNOWS

✷ 'If it was going to kill me, it would have.’

You don’t have to be medically trained to know that that’s bullshit. It could have damaged him elsewhere, somewhere deeper than surface level. He could drop dead in a day, or a week, regardless of how well you manage things right now.

I love this more than anythingjsjdjdjdjdjdjejd bc it’s so me, but also like the fact that it’s making me think Reader is for some reason, super into true crime, like listens to a lot of true crime podcasts or is like an avid fan of Grey’s Anatomy of Dr. G, Medical Examiner or some shit like that sksjejejeje like the fact that they understand how deeply unqualified they are to do this jobsksksksje like in my head, they’re going, “bitch, you telling me this as if I don’t watch prestige TV, okay?!? Like I have HBO, I have seen Breaking Bad, I have seen The Sopranos.”

✷ ... wet thumb slipping from the wheel, again and again, before you finally catch the spark.

GODDDDDJDJDUEJEHEVEB ONCE AGAIN FUCKKKKKKKK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF THE WAY THIS IS SO PERFEXTLY DESCRIBED ACTUALLYYYYYY LOKE IM TAKING NOTES ON THE SKILL/TECHNIQUE AND ALSO PLOTTING YOUR DEMISE

✷ The knife is wobbling in his hold, because he’s shaking more than you are. Red fingers unable to grip the thing tight enough to start. It’s not going to work. He won’t be able to do it himself.

‘Damelo.’ You pluck it from him without waiting for an answer. ‘What do I do?’

THE WAY RHIS ENTIRE FUCKING THINGGGTTT HAD ME ON THE WDGE OF MY SEATTTTTTT AND THE BOOM, READER RISES TO THE OCCASION AND CUE ME JUMPING UP, FLINGING MY BUCKET OF POPCORN IN THE AIR, LIKE IF I WAS IN A SPORTSBALL STADIUM ID BE ON THE JUMBOTRON AS LIKE THAT MEGAFAN

✷ His stomach tenses beneath you, his thighs pincer around your hips—it’s all impulse, subconscious reactions that he can’t stop. The body trying to protect itself from the intruder.

First off, hot. Secondly, disgusting. What specifically is disgusting?? No, it’s not the blood or the gore, it’s the fact that this is so concrete and real and raw and vivid, and skilled and IMJUSTTTTTTTTTTTJJ BITING MY ACTUAL FIST OUT OF FEAR AND PERHAPS MINOR AROUSAL AND THEN YOU GOT CLOCK ME WITH A LEFT HOOK WOTH THAT “the body trying to protect itself from the intruder” AS IF IM NOT ALREADY UNCONSCIOUS FROM THE REPEATED BLOWS IVE BEEN DEALT READING THIS WHOLE ASS THING

✷ The end beneath the bullet. You press down without warning, because it wouldn’t have helped anyway, and force it out. Right back the way it had come.

Pfftttkdjdj the nerdy physicist in me is like fully thinking about the fluid mechanics and nodding at Reader like 😌 yes, that’s how one should go about doing that, despite the fact that it’s probably blindingly, agonizingly painful

✷ You’re beyond words now, the both of you. He doesn’t need to guide you through it. Can’t, really. And you don’t need to lie to him that it’ll only be a little longer, only be a little pinch. It’s just time to get it over with. Sew the skin together as best you can, hope the damage isn’t enough to kill him. Toes over the edge, and jump.

UGGGHHHHHHHHHHSJDJDHSJDJDJDBSJXJSJSLWOEKEMRNT TNTOROTN RMEE I DONT EVEN KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN bc in like every movie and tv show where this happens, like this is a list of all the cliches, ways characters reassure each other but it MAKES SO MUCH SENSE that actually this would be done in total silence, like Reader needs to concentrate, Moi is just shy of passing out so ofc neither of them is trying to placate the other with like words of encouragement and something about that, like eschewing all the cinematic cliches makes this feel MORE CINEMATIC TO ME???????????? To the point THAT I AVTUALLT WANT TO FUCKING FILM THE DAMN THING MYSELF I CAN SEE IT THAT CLESRYLDKDKDKDKDJENR

✷ You’d stitched the wound as best you could, but it won’t hold. It won’t do him any good in the long run.

UHHHHHHH BEG PARDON, IS HE FUCKINGKSKDJDJDJDJDNE DYINGG, HES TOTALLY DYING ISNT HE, JUST WHEN YOU LULLED ME INTO A FALSE SENSE OF SECURITY EXCEPT ITS MY OWN DAMN FAULT FOR LETTING MY GUARD DOWN AROUND A KNOWN TERRORIST

✷ His face isn’t streaked with blood anymore.

The way I read this and went “boooooo” sksksks

✷ You didn’t mind missing out on your own sleep just to watch him.

Uhhhhhhh— I mean— this is just— sisjebwhfiisnaksdnnwnwoxmssksoddkenene this is legitimately so wholesome and romantic I want to fucking throw my phone on the ground so hard, my screen shatters

✷ The room is dim still, lit with the in-between blue of night and sunrise.

OHHHHHHFUCJJJJJJJKKKKKKKKKOFFFFFFFFFFFF THE IN- BETWEEN BLUE OF NIGHT AND SUNRISE, ITS GENIUS, I HATE YOU, IM SOBBING

✷ ‘So, thank-you, for not doing that. Don’t think I could explain a dead man in my bed.’

KSKSKSKSKSK the way Reader is lowkey like “half a breath away from loving you Moi, yes. So glad you’re not dead, but I also would not be able to explain this mess if you’d died, so double thank you” very pragmatic sksks

✷ He wouldn’t have come, he means, if he thought he would die. But what would he have done instead? Crawled off into the bush like animals do, found somewhere quiet to die on his own?

UGHHHHHHHHMYWHOLEHEARTTTTTT BC ACTUALLT YES THIS IS PROBABLY EXACTLY WHAT HE’D DO, LIKE THIS MF IS AN APEX PREDATOR, HE’D COMPLETELY STALK INTO THE BUSHES TO DIE ALONE LIKE A CAT DOES AND ITD BE SO HEARTBREAKINT BC HED THINK THAT’S EXAVTLY HOW HE DESERVES TO DIE AND UGJDODIDISJDODIKSOWOSK

✷ ‘You have a lot of questions,’ he says ... Ask them.’ He’s tired, you can tell, not only from the day before, the injuries, but from the combination of it all. From the weight on his back, the cost of folding mystery over his life. He wants out. Wants the truth between you, no matter the consequence.

Literally I have no breath or thumb strength rather to scream further, like I am as tired as Moi no I’m not, I’m just dramatic sksjs but this is so fucking poignant and beautifully written and heartbreaking and I JUSTTTTTTJFJDJDJDJEHEHDH LIKE I DONT INOW WHAT TO SAY, I AM SPEECHLESS LIKE I AM FULLY WITHOUT SPEECH TO ARTICULATE THE DEPTH OF WOW THAT I FEEL READING THSI FUCKINGKDJDJDDJR PARAGRAPH

✷ 'If you want me to leave…I’ll go. You won’t see me again.’ The knee jerk reaction is to tell him that you don’t want that, that you would’t send him away ... just because of who he is. What he does. But you know that’s a self-laid trap, waiting to be stepped in. He could say anything. He could be anyone.

'Okay,’ you reply, accepting his deal. ‘Let’s start at the beginning.’

HE COULD SAY ANYTHING. HE COULD BE ANYONE. You wanna know what you’ve done to me? This.

This is what you’ve done. These are the crimes you have committed, bc this??????b. THIIISSSSSSSS??????!!!!!!!!!!!!:&:&:Bbbbbwbebejjejenr IS SOME OF YOUR BEST SHIT TO DATE, AND IM NOT FUCJINT JOKING IN THE SLIGHTEST OR BLOWING SMOKE UP YOIR ASS OR EXAGERATTING FOR EFFECT which yes .... I have been known to do THIS IS ACTUALYYYYYYYYYYYY ONE OF THE MOST FIRE ENDINFS TO ANY FIC IVE EVER READ, ITS BESUTIFUL, ITS PERFECT, ITS LINDA EVANGELISTA OKAYYYY????????? And I love you and hate you and love you and hate you for it, nunca lo olvides que has hecho en ese día, acciones terroristas, guerra psicológica, dañó permanente y duradero de la shingada pues

the other man, pt. 2

moisés (sky rojo) x gn!reader, 3406 words

warnings for blood, gunshot wounds, DIY medical treatment

for day 17 of whumpril: cry for help | self treatment |��‘i can’t do this.’

a/n: the way this poor guy has no (?) fics on here at all, and im already maiming him. my god

tagging: @cositapreciosa @drabbles-mc

part one here

You left him there. You left him there, and it’s been hours, sun sinking beneath the horizon, warmth slipping into cold. He hasn’t rang you. Not even a text. He’s probably dead, right? You probably left him to die. Shirt splattered with red, arm stretched across the concrete. Gun just out of reach.

You groan, turning to push your face into the pillow. It doesn’t help to imagine it. Even if he’s alive, you might never see him again. What if’s won’t do anything but torment you, if there’s never any closure, no evidence of the alternative.

The last you saw of him, he was alive. In control. Not scared in the slightest, as far as you could tell, so that’s what you’ll remember. What you’ll cement as fact. Alive, uninjured. Unrecognisable to the man you thought you knew, but not dead, at least.

Go away with me, he said. He knew they were coming. He tried to get out, you with him, hand in hand, before they got there. That meant something, right? The Moisés you knew was holding out still, before the gunfire. Putting you and him in the sun.

Keep reading

#screamblog #love how I was so scared about the door being left open #and nothing actually bad happened skskskjs #moises x reader #sky rojo fanfiction #whumpril2023

21 notes · View notes

clouds-rambles · 4 years ago

Note

hello!~ o(〃＾▽＾〃)o

can i request headcanons for kaeya, diluc, childe, and venti on what they would while their s/o dies in their arms? (if thats okay with u <3)

thank u sm! :))

BESTIE THE PAIN I FEEL RN!!! Omw to make hurt some of my faves hope you enjoy <3

Also guys I’ve been here for a day how are there almost 50 of you following?!

Pairings; (Separate) Kaeya, Diluc, Childe, Venti x reader

Warning(s); hurt, big hurty, reader death, vague wound description, cursing, talk about dead bodies

Keep reading under the cut!

Kaeya

This wasn’t how it was supposed to go. You were meant to live forever with him. You were supposed to grow old with him and become a parent to your future children. You were-

“Kaeya” you choke out smiling at your partner above you. The man shakes his head mentally pleading with you to not die “Kaeya I will always be on the wind” you tell him, a shaky, bloody hand raised to his cheek to weekly caress it

“Please” he pleads “Please don’t die on me [name]” you smile at him feeling the breaths in your lungs disappear

“I’m sorry Kae--ya” you apologise before passing away in his arms

He doesn’t move for a long time. He doesn’t feel for a long time. The one person he could share his secrets and his love to gone. Away with the wind

Kaeya doesn’t remember the last time he cried, but he’ll remember this one.

Your beaten, bruised, broken, dead, and beautiful body slumped in his arms as his tears fall from his face as he feels an absence in his heart

How is he supposed to live on if this is the pain he feels right now?

Jean eventually stumbles upon Kaeya out in the wilds, still clutched to your now cold and even more lifeless body

Jean manages to get the man up with your body held close to his chest

“Jean, I can’t, I can’t let them go” he pleads as if he’s waiting for you to simply wake up in his arms

“Kaeya...” Jean says in a concerned tone having never seen him in such a state, even he seemed to quickly recover from his fathers death

Eventually Jean coaxed Kaeya to go back to the city and leave your body in the hands of the sisters. Where they dressed you up and prepared a funeral service for you

The funeral was larger than Kaeya was expecting, you had affected a many more people than he realised from your small jobs around the city. Kaeya can’t help but be awed at how many people you’ve helped while you were in Mond

The usual chatter of Mondstat is quiet and in a time of grieving for about a week or so, many people have wonderful memories of you and Kaeya seems to be collecting them all, that and bunches of flowers. Many of which find themselves laying on your tombstone as Kaeya tells you about his day

A month passes and it seems like everything's back to normal, Kaeya is back to his outgoing self. He spends more nights at the tavern, but even Diluc doesn’t have the heart to cut him off.

Jean seems to pick up on the smallest things, goddamnit Jean, the extra nights at the tavern, the eyebags, the weeping she can hear from his room. In it’s own right is heart-breaking, the acting Grandmaster cannot imagine what it’s like to be actually experiencing that kind of pain

Diluc

No, not like this

You had both decided that night to join each other in your little vigilante escapade. Which was fine you had both done this before, but tonight resulted in something very different

Here you are, head on Dilucs lap. This could be considered romantic, and often was, were it not for the fact you felt like you choked up a mixture of your lung and your bloody supply

“Diluc” you speak with a much worse for wear voice, the red-head looks into your eyes, eyes already gaining moisture. A similar scene has befallen him before, a Diluc knows how this ends

“Please” he pleads his voice wavering “Please don’t leave me” he chokes back a sob and tears fall off his face the salt hitting your own

“I love you so much” you start, Diluc shakes his head. Must you hurt him so with last words? “Don’t blame yourse-” another set of hacking befalls you as you lose more blood

“Please” he pleads again as the grip you had on his arm goes slack indicating your loss of life

Diluc screams, he cries and he hugs you close. He screams into the air of Mondstat until his voice hurts and he cries until all he’s doing is dry sobbing and he holds you close until you’re broken body is pried from his own broken mind

A wondering Jean heard his screams into the night sky and hereby answered them. She never expected to see Diluc, still in his vigilante getup, crying over your body

She calls for more guards who take your body from his and Jean helps Diluc get back to the estate. At one point during the walk Jean can feel DIluc shaking and hyperventilating. So they stand for a moment, Jean holds and comforts the wine-master before they move again

Jean has never seen such emotion from Diluc before, and she wholeheartedly hopes she’ll never have to see it again. Seeing Diluc so raw and rife with emotion is enough to make anyone cry. And Jean nearly did on more than one occasion.

Your funeral is small, much to Dilucs request and really only were attended by the estate and Jean. Diluc didn’t want to cry again in such a large audience

Though the maids often hear pained sobs coming from Dilucs room as he contemplates and often blames himself for what had transpired. Maids daren’t speak up about what they hear though, Diluc’s pain is more than understandable

Diluc throws himself into work opting to man the bar most days of the week and fighting for the city as often as he can. People around him are more than concerned

Diluc’s stoic nature seems to be intensified now, not wanting to let another person in and die in his arms. He’s seen enough death for his life and wishes not to lose more loved ones

Everything seems to have moved back to what life was before you arrived in your life, depressive, monotonous, boring, mundane for the most part and sad. So very sad

He wishes for a day where his heart isn’t strife with grief, but he doubts that day will not be coming anytime soon

Childe

You grin up at him, feeling close to naught pain coming from the gaping wound thanks to the excess of adrenaline that’s pumping through your body

“Childe” you say the smile still on your lips in an attempt at not making the situation as dark and horrific as it is. Childe speaks your name in return

“I love you” you tell him mustering the strength to cup the mans cheek, who immediately nuzzles into it. The situation almost doesn’t feel real to him. He’s going to be shaken awake by a very unwounded you in just a moment and inform him he’s having a nightmare

But that moment doesn’t come. Nor do any words come from you. Your slow rhythms of your heart remind you that he’s still got time, but you’ve expended all your energy. Your smile you’re wearing seems to be dropping

“I love you [name], I love you so much, you are everything I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you” he rambles bringing your body to his chest

“Live for--- me” you sputter out into his chest, a dying wish that Childe isn’t too sure he can uphold. Is it really living if he’s an empty vessel.

You go limp in his arms and he can no longer sense your heartbeat. Death had finally laid claim to you

Childe sits with you for hours, you’d expect him to be wailing like a banshee if you knew his personality but that’s rather not the case. Sobbing quietly is a better word for what happens. Most of his sobs and hacks for air are hidden in your hair. He pulled your body to his shoulder just to weep

Eventually he finds himself mustering the courage to walk back to Liyue Harbour. You firmly held in his arms. He knows that if he walks too plainly the Millelith would pry and ask too many questions for his fragile heart to answer

Childe ends up barging into the wangsheng funeral parlour, which surprises Zhongli a little. He’s about to go on a rant to Childe about how he must book an appointment, until he sees your lifeless body in his arms

The funeral is arranged quickly and neatly. There aren’t many people who attend, Childe is okay with that, he secretly wants to see his family and cry on their shoulder a bit

Instead he opts for a letter, which arrives to the family tear stained and lacking the usual penmanship ‘I’m sorry, you won’t be able to see [name] after all. They passed away not too long ago...’ he basically writes your arbitrary in the letter. And his whole heart is in every word he writes

Determined not to let anybody in Childe finds himself in a pattern, when he’s not throwing himself into battles he’s doing paper work or yelling at his subordinates and when he’s not doing that he’s doing his weekly fight with the traveller. Childe gets next to no sleep and instead opts to reading and rereading every letter and note you’ve ever given him

If Childe passes out at his desk nobody bothers him either in fear of getting yelled at by the harbinger or an understanding of losing a loved one

They never said being a harbinger was fulfilling work. Yet, he let himself believe that he could be fulfilled and content with a lover. What a shameful lie

Venti

He’s awfully quiet. He hasn’t experienced death in so long. Especially one he thought would be forever.

He couldn’t even get to you to hear your last words. Ironic isn’t it? He hadn’t heard that guys last words either. And yet this pains him so much more

Sure mortal lives are fleeting but he was certain he had more time with you. More time to see you grow old, more time to put off your inevitable mortality. More time to-

He’s hyperventilating, Venti’s body shakes as he finds nothing to ground himself not even the person he loves so dear is there for him. He feels like he could explode, breaths caught in his throat refusing to surface and come up for air. Despite being an immortal archon, the breaths that refuse to surface don’t fail to make him feel like he’s choking

A bard he is. And one that knows every song from the past, present and future. Suddenly the pained songs from the future make sense to him. He knew what was written. A love lost

Suddenly he finds himself crying and hunched over your deceased form making promises to the wind that he’ll never forget you. Much like he’ll ever forget that bard

He isn’t sure how long has passed but he’s still sobbing over your form, there aren’t many tears left for him to cry but he can’t find himself stopping. He feels like they’ll never stop.

Maybe he could lay beside you and sleep for another thousand years. But that would only delay the inevitable. The inevitable sinking feeling.

Maybe it was his fault for letting himself fall in love with a mortal, but in the moment he could truly see you living life with him. He could see a marriage, children. He wanted you to have it all.

Damn celestia and all things above for not letting you ascend, at least when he inevitably ascends you’ll be there to greet him. Curse that and your mortality

Jean eventually stumbles upon him during a recon mission to find him covering your body in various flowers, a crown made of cecelias don your head. He’s quiet, but he’s saying goodbye. Who would blame him? Jean doesn’t interrupt him and only wishes you a farewell

News of your death spread around town like wildfire, your grave donned with more flowers than Venti can count. He almost feels bad about not doing a public service after seeing how many people are truly in mourning

Diluc doesn’t push Venti to pay his growing tab no matter how much he should. And Diluc doesn’t say no to Venti singing his happy tunes in the tavern

It feels like his life has retuned to normal. Though Jean can’t help but look out the library window to see Venti sat atop his statue with an expression, as Jean can only guess, of sadness.

Venti finds himself going back to an old schedule again but he can’t miss the nagging feeling of somethings missing. The something being you

Sometimes he half expects you to hug him from behind, or join him up at the statue, or kiss him on his nose, or-

Venti can’t quite comprehend how he feels, he just knows there’s a hole in his heart where you belonged. And he doesn’t want to let anyone find their way into there

He doesn’t want to lose again

It’s happened too much

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sunflowersteves · 4 years ago

Text

always home || g.r.

summary || you don’t know how much longer you can take geralt’s dangerous life.

author’s note || i know i have requests to do still but i needed some comfort rn🥺also jesus christ his aRMS

warnings || angst, hurt/comfort, some gore, crying, fluff

masterlist

Your whole body shook with pure dread, the sensation reaching from the top of your head and all the way down to your toes. You couldn’t even look away, eyes glued to the scene before you. You couldn’t do anything either, it was like your brain had come to a standstill--trying to grasp what had just happened.

Your heart had stopped when a Kikimora had swallowed Geralt whole, devouring him like he was just a small snack to eat. The pain rose to the tip of your throat like bile, resting there as a whimper escaped your mouth.

You knew that he would probably be fine, perfectly healthy as he slashed through the monster's insides. You knew that Witcher’s were almost indestructible; they weren’t easy beings to kill.

But there was always that slim chance, that logical side of your brain that knew what could happen. You knew that monster hunting would most likely seal Geralt’s fate; what life he had left in his eyes would fade and become dim.

Which is what terrified you to no end, the thoughts caving in--almost as if they were laughing at you for getting attached to somebody who can’t. You knew you shouldn’t have. You should have let those little butterflies turn into large waves of feelings that crashed down on you at every glance he gave your way.

And yet here you are, tears rolling down your cheeks as it has now been ten minutes and there’s no sign of him anywhere. You had to hide behind a tree to be able to escape from the monsters.

Your chest heaved up and down and your eyes snapped shut as you tried to think of a plan--anything that would help the situation. But in every scenario you could think of, there wasn’t a good outcome.

You clutch the sword in your hand a bit tighter now; the thoughts that surged through your brain were much more crowded now. Your eyes began to sting from the saltiness of the tears, dread overflowing to the brink in your body.

You try to calm yourself down by taking deep breaths, letting your mind try to ease the searing despair that rested upon your heart. You slowly and quietly take your sword out of its sheath, trying to prepare yourself for the battle to come.

And then you heard it, which all the more made you stop dead in your tracks.

You heard the groaning of the monster, misery, and pain screeching through the air. You hear the slicing and cutting of a sword, the sound of guts and fluids flooding across the ground.

You peak slightly from where you were on the tree, eyes wide at Geralt’s figure standing there perfectly fine as he waits for the monster to die in front of him. He looked almost annoyed that the monster wouldn’t die faster, as if he wasn’t just eaten whole by a giant monster.

Geralt’s eyes linger on the Kikimora before they try and find yours, wanting to know if you were okay. His eyes trail up to the tree and then meet yours, relief immediately skating across them.

Normally after a fight like this one, you would always run up to him and envelop him in a hug, completely disregarding the fact that there was monster blood and guts on him.

So he was quite surprised when you just stood there, mouth agape slightly and eyes as wide as ever. He became even more flustered as your eyebrows started to furrow, and a fire ignited in your eyes.

You were livid.

“y/n-”

You ignored him, abruptly turned around and headed straight back to where the town was. You could hear Geralt’s large footsteps follow you but you tried your utmost best to ignore them. You have had enough with this shit, your heart and mind can only take so much. You knew that Geralt couldn’t help it. This was his life. This was his normal. But you weren’t a Witcher. You were just a knight that was supposed to follow the orders of whoever was queen or king.

“y/n, dove-”

Geralt stopped with a halt when you whipped around; the pure venom in your voice was the third thing that caught him by surprise.

“Do not call me that.”

You continued to walk towards the town, your stomps becoming harder as the rage built up and up.

“This is my life, y/n. This is what I do-”

You interrupted him yet again with a scoff, your fast walking pace was slower now, but you did not dare stop. You wanted out of here and away from him until you cooled down. However, Geralt was too stubborn to let you go.

“You don’t think I know that? I know this is your life, Geralt. I don’t want you to change anything.”

All you want to do is leave it like that and enclose yourself off in some pub for the rest of the night. You start walking again; Geralt has other plans as he grips your shoulder, pulling you back to a halt. Your eyes still looked a fiery ablaze as he stared straight into them.

“What is it then, dove? talk to me, please.”

His eyebrows furrowed at the whimper that left your mouth, tears flowing out freely against your cheek and rolling down your chin. Your anger was gone, only agony and apprehension were left between your beautiful orbs.

Geralt’s hand came up to cup your cheek, his thumb wiping softly back and forth against your cheekbone. You opened your mouth to speak, but the only sound that escaped were your hiccups. The action had made Geralt’s heart constrict; to know that he was the reason you were in so much grief.

He watched with some relief as you calmed down; the tears he wiped away were coming to a stop.

“I-I’m sorry.” You take a deep breath before you continue. Geralt was watching your every move, his glowing eyes clouded with concern. “When I d-didn’t see you come out of the kikimora, I-I thought that you had... Geralt, I don’t know what I’d do if-”

Geralt had brought you into his arms as more tears sprung to your eyes. You couldn’t help the sobs that wrecked over your body, your throat enclosing from the thought of losing the one person you can’t live without.

Geralt moved you out of his arms as his hands went to cup your cheeks again, making sure that you were looking right at his face.

“I want you to know that I will always come home to you. I will always find you, dove.”

“But-”

He shook his head, white hair falling slightly amongst his cheeks. “A dragon could burn me to bits, and I’d make my way back to you. The most fearsome monster could pierce through my heart, and I’d get up and come find you. Queens and Kings could create armies to defeat me, making sure nothing of me was left, and I’d run to your arms. I’m not going anywhere, sweet girl, not unless you say so.”

You jump on him immediately, lips attached to his in a passionate dance. Your hands gripped the softness of his hair, still somewhat wet from the monster just a few moments before. His arms immediately wrapped around your waist, the soft pillows of your lips making his heart soar.

Your body felt ignited, tingling sensations flowed throughout your nerves and veins. Your lips were desperately molded, devouring each other with desire and adoration. Your hands moved down, so they rested on his chest, gently gripping the fabric of his tunic.

His lips left yours swiftly, his forehead coming to rest on yours. His eyes bore straight into yours, the normal grumpy Witcher was practically glowing with happiness.

“Promise?”

You let out a yelp as he abruptly picks you up, legs resting in his arms and your head laid on his chest.

“I promise you, dove. I’ll always come back to you.”

witcher: @angelinathebook @harrysthiccthighss @borkingbarnes

geralt: @harrysthiccthighss @borkingbarnes

permanent: @captainchrisstan @angstysebfan @teenagereadersciencenerd @rebekahdawkins @hailmary-yramliah

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dodo-begone · 4 years ago

Note

Loyal here, and back from the dead! Had some health issues and family drama, but I should be completely back now! I hope this all makes sense, I had to take Benadryl so I’m kinda out of it at the moment.

——

For those who have been interested in the idea of a reader from Undertale, I’m so happy! Anon who went into detail with how y/n might be forced into bringing out their soul? *chefs kiss* I love it. And with Ranboo or Techno doing it on accident because of the voice(s)? Then, when they snap out of it and see y/n begging this ‘Frisk’ person for mercy? AAAAAAA YES P L E A S E. I live for the angst and that concept quenched my thirst for it. When it comes to the resets, I think that most of what happened during them felt like dejavú to y/n when going through the Underground, making them give reactions similar to the monsters who seem to recall certain things when you play the game again. However, when it comes to the genocide route, I feel like they don’t remember anything. At least...not until they’re put under extreme stress, panic, trauma, etc., or if they’re in an intense life or death situation. Only then would they remember. But it’s messy when they do. They get thrown into a memory and basically have a mental breakdown. Whether they remember it once they calm down or not...? Up to you. Anyway, here’s some of my own ideas based off all this!

- In Ranboo’s case, I feel like he’d know who Frisk is and quite a bit about y/n’s world. He just seems like the type of person you could tell anything to and he’d listen. Because of this factor, I can see y/n having either already shown him their SOUL, or having planned to in the near future. He’d recognize the situation—a panic attack—and do everything in his power to calm y/n down. He isn’t the type to pry, so he wouldn’t mention the reader’s SOUL unless it seemed to be in really bad condition. He’d rather y/n come to him and open up on their own.

- It’s a cry fest. They’re both tearing up and telling the other not to cry. Y/n knows it wasn’t Ranboo’s fault and doesn’t want him hurting himself over it, especially because his tears hurt him. They forgive him, it’s okay. Ranboo feels incredibly guilty for what he’s done. And seeing them crying over what he did and the trauma he accidentally brought onto them? He’s crushed. You know those sappy movies where the main characters are comforting each other, crying but letting out choked/hiccuping laughter? Not because they find the situation funny, but because they both react the same way and just want what’s best for each other and it’s all around adorable? That’s them.

- But, if it’s yandere Ranboo? He’d probably see this as proof that y/n is far too fragile for this world. Clearly, they need someone to protect them. He’d most certainly feel guilty about what he’d done, but he may play it up a bit to get as much attention/sympathy/whatever from them.

- For Techno, unless he was there when y/n initially woke up in the SMP, I don’t think he’d believe them. So he probably doesn’t know shit (or, he at least knows the basics), unless he found out from someone else. That’s just my opinion tho. Either way, I believe he’d think it’s all bullshit. However, he wouldn’t force an encounter to prove his point. He has at least some decency. No he doesn’t. I feel like he’d remind y/n of just how hostile monsters Underground were in the beginning, so they’d be weary around him. (I’m doing flat out yandere for him from now on bc that’s all I can think of rn)

- If he doesn’t know who Frisk is, I see him being slightly insulted that they think of some random stranger—as far as he’s aware—who clearly hurt them. He’d never do that! He—oh shit, he kinda sorta did do that...

- If he does know who Frisk is and is romantically interested in y/n, he’d probably be peeved that they’re basically referring to him as their sibling. He gets that they’re going through a traumatic episode but c’mon! He’d end up pushing the thought aside to help them. However, he may be slightly petty for the next few days.

- Keeping on the romantic yandere side, I see him possibly making the situation worse even if it isn’t his intention to. Whether he’s told by y/n or someone else, he at least knows what their SOUL is and what it stands for (even if he didn’t believe it till now). So here’s his little darling, all curled up and clutching their SOUL to their chest like it’s their lifeline. Oh, wait, it is. Sure, he’s surprised that it’s real, but any shock he would’ve felt is replaced by awe and he can’t help but notice how mesmerizing it is. So, he forcefully gently pulls their arms away from their chest, cooing at them and saying that everything’s fine, and removes their hands from the entity so he can get a better look at it. He watches as the (color) heart bobs slightly up and down, and can’t help but be surprised by how warm it feels against the palms of his calloused hands when he cups it. Any whimpers and pleas from y/n begging for their soul to be returned are blocked out. All he can focus on is the SOUL in front of him, the very culmination of their being, and how small it is. This little thing, that takes damage whenever their body does, that physically appears whenever they are in a fight, is what keeps them alive? That won’t do. Not at all. This land is far too dangerous for them! They better get used to his cabin, for as far as Techno’s concerned, it’s their new world home.

——

And Tommy forcing them into an encounter because he thinks it’s all bullshit? That would definitely happen. He’d feel so guilty once he sees the look of betrayal in y/n’s eyes and the disappointment that shows on the faces of anyone who had seen the forced encounter. As if they too weren’t curious. He noticed that no one stopped him. Let’s be honest. Most would be too curious to interfere.

- Y/n probably falls to their knees, cupping their SOUL in the palms of their hands. They know that Tommy wouldn’t actually hurt them, but they can’t help but feel as though their boundaries have been pushed aside, as though one of their only requests meant nothing to everyone. Tears slip and it takes watching the glowing heart, being lost in their own world as they mentally count every rhythmic bob to ground them. Once their breathing calms and their sobs turn into hushed whimpers, they push their SOUL back into their chest and stare at the ground, unsure of what to do next.

- Tommy definitely acts a hundred times more mature in the following moments. Depending on when in the DSMP timeline this occurs, he’d either be confident—and rightfully so—in his ability to help someone during a panic attack, or be hesitant, unsure of what to do, fumbling with his words and motions, but trying his damn hardest to help nonetheless. Either way, I see y/n appreciating it. Y/n literally come from a world where they would befriend creatures ten seconds after they genuinely tried to kill them and their sibling. I don’t see them holding a grudge. They’d most likely be slightly weary in the following twenty to thirty minutes, but get over it. After all, they’ve always chosen MERCY. Can’t say the same for their sibling, though. Tommy’s extra cautious about what he says or does around them after that.

- I feel like after a few weeks or months, y/n may bond enough with Tommy to want to show how much they trust him by bringing out their SOUL. Especially if they’re there through all the hell that Tommy goes through story-wise. To them, it’d probably be their way of telling him that they trust him with their life, and that they’ll always be on his side.

- Yandere or not, he does everything in his power to protect y/n if they remain weary of encounters. He’ll either find a way to avoid a fight, not wanting to hurt y/n by doing anything that would make him gain this supposed LOVE that comes from their world, or he’d do enough damage to allow them to escape without anyone or anything dying.

- If y/n discovers that they’re able to befriend the monsters of this world like they could their own, regular Tommy would respect that. He may be a bit antsy if the encounter drags on or if y/n sustains some damage, but he knows that they know what they’re doing. As previously mentioned, he’ll get involved if things go south, but he won’t kill anything. At least, not in front of them. Gotta get bones, blaze powder, and spider eyes somehow. But even then, he does it sparingly out of respect for y/n’s wishes. That, or he’ll have someone else get materials for him.

- Yandere Tommy wouldn’t risk shit. You can’t just talk to mobs, you idiot! You’ll die if you do that! And you’ve only got one life! He’d threaten to kill mobs right in front of y/n if it’d get them to stop trying to play house with disgusting monsters. That, or he may force y/n into killing. Their HP, AT, and DF increase when their LOVE increases, right? So they have to if they want to survive!

——

I agree with the anon that Dream and Vilbur would definitely force y/n into an encounter. Yandere or not. If yandere, they’d probably become obsessed with the concept of SOULS and constantly pressure them into bringing it out. They use it as a nightlight JKJKJK.

- Ya know how in Deltarune, Kris yeets their SOUL into a cage? Well, imagine that, but it’s forcefully taken by Dream. He’d put it in a glass container and show it off like some damn trophy. That, or he hides it away where no one can find it. Vilbur would do the same but keep the SOUL on his person at all times. That way no one forgets who y/n belongs to. To him, it’d show power and ownership. Much to his pleasure and mostly everyone else’s disgust.

- I’d also add Schlatt to the list of people that force an encounter, as well as yandere Sam. Schlatt would pull it out in front of everyone to show how much power he can hold ever someone, or, to use as a shield when he thinks Pogtopia will attack. They wouldn’t want to hurt an innocent person who’s got a little sibling waiting for them at home, would they? With Sam, he’d do it to make sure that y/n is in perfect health. Can’t risk there being any cracks or the SOUL being dim! Following Tommy’s death and revival, he’d probably do the same as Vilbur, keeping their SOUL with him and never letting it out of his sight. However, instead of doing it out of a show of power like Vilbur, it’s out of paranoia. He can’t lose you too. He has to know that you’re okay!

——

For some fluff, here’s who I think y/n would eventually trust enough to show their SOUL:

- Tommy (as mentioned earlier)

- Ranboo (also mentioned earlier)

- Tubbo (he reminds them too much of Asriel to not trust him with their SOUL)

- Captain Puffy (same as Tubbo, but for Toriel)

- Ghostbur (he’s just so nice!! How could they not? Besides, he sometimes reminds them of Napstablook! They probably call Ghostbur Blooky a lot on accident and the ghost just learns to roll with it LOL)

- Karl! (After hearing about this person who comes from a world with timelines and basically time travel, he can’t help but be interested. He’s losing so much, he needs someone who might possibly understand. They both share a similar hatred towards the concept of time travel/resets and the amount of pressure it puts on a person’s shoulders. That, and the lack of memories, even if they‘be both been effected by this in different ways)

- Bad (before he’s corrupted by the egg, of course. He’s so sweet omg. Besides, his personality gives me Toriel vibes)

I personally don’t see them trusting Philza enough, no matter how much he reminds them of Asgore. Then again, the King of Monsters is the one who basically put a bounty on their SOUL. He also refused their MERCY and forced them to FIGHT. Besides, when they hear from others—or see it for themself—that Philza kills his own son? I don’t think they’d ever forgive that. No matter what happens. You should refuse death, because there’s always another option. They’d know first hand, after all. With having their SOUL broken in half and pieced back together thanks to their own sheer will to live. To protect their sibling and save their friends. The battle against Asriel taught them so much, and they’d never take life for granted again thanks to it. “Asgore, though I may not stand by his methods of taking the SOULS of innocents—children, no less—I understand why he did it. He lost both of his children, his pride and joy, at the hands of humans. The real monsters of this w—of my world. He would have given anything to get them back. And you, you just throw your son’s life away? How could you?! Do you know how many beings, Monsters and humans alike, would sacrifice everything just to see their loved ones one more time? To take their place? To save them from a brutal death by the hands of those who want your SOULS? To see their small body covered in blood and burns or spears. Only for their death to have been meaningless, for their SOUL had shattered before it could be collected and used? When it should have been you, their big sibling, to take their place?” Yeah... they’ve definitely got some issues they need to deal with LOL. I personally headcanon that even if Frisk wasn’t able to reset, their soul would have been useless when it came to breaking the barrier because that thing shattered into PIECES. What would the monsters do? Use gorilla glue and hope the damn thing stays together?

——

Imagine how different characters, Yandere or not, would react to y/n’s soul shattering. Especially if it’s because y/n took a hit for them.

ALRIGHT THATS IT AND IM GOING TO SLEEP LOL

Omg that’s so much. It’s all so fucking good but I am just overwhelmed by how much is here because I want to answer it all but,,,

IT’S SO GOOF NIGHTLIGHT SOUL JANSJS PLEASE HAHA that’s just hilarious.

Also putting the soul in cages? YES THAT’S SUCH A GOOD CONCEPT TO BRING UP!!! Vilbur wanting to own while Sam wants to protect. Both lead to a similar end. An emotionless reader with no care for themselves or others. Just a rogue being. A zombie, I’d you will. But not dumb. Oh not dumb at all.

Also putting the soul in a jar??? I ca see DreamXD doing the same, if not similar. Ooo maybe he wears their souls on him? Trapping it in a piece of jewelry to display your “loyalty” and “love” to him.

I’m sorry I’m just not feelin too good.

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helliontherapscallion · 4 years ago

Text

⚠️⚠️⚠️!!!!SPOILERS FOR CHAPTER 16 “PHANTASMAGORIA” OF ADRENALINE JUNKIE!!!!⚠️⚠️⚠️

You sat quietly at your desk. You hands traced over the worn oak wood. This was all wrong. It was too quiet. There weren’t as many papers everywhere, cute sticky notes, and no redstone handprints that were far too small to be yours.

There wasn’t nearly enough of anything.

It hurt.

God it hurt knowing that the one person you devoted so much time, and love and care into wasn’t fucking real.

Your breathing was heavy and tears clouded your vision as you hunched over your desk, curling into yourself.

“I-I had a son-”

Your broken words make your body and lungs shudder with the force of them and your voice cracked. Your wing pressed against your back uncomfortably, a few feathers out of place, but you couldn’t care less. You had already lost a wing, what would it matter if you lost enough.

A chill filtered through the room and you shivered. The basement was not warm at all and you could barely will yourself to get out of bed and down here.

Turning around feeling something brush a few of your primary feathers gently you whipped your head around. Your eyes widened and your wing puffed up, and your mind that could barely stay awake and focus on a single of the buzzing thoughts in your mind quieted.

It became solem and disbelieving like the basement you were standing in. All you felt was cold. The cool feeling on the cement floor under your feet and the ghost- phantom?- of your son standing before you.

“Arthur-“

"Hey (Y/N)!”

His cheery voice seemed to echo and you scrambled over to his translucent, misty form. It didn’t make sense. None of this makes sense. It’s not supposed to be this way. He’s fake! He’s not real!

You walk through Arthur. He’s not here…he’s dead. Or at least not here. Not alive. Arthur isn’t your prodigy anymore. He’s your son, your second half, your entire world. To find him here of all places. ’

He can’t be real. He was never real. No. No. No No No NoNoNoNoNoNo-‘

“Your feathers have grown since you gave me your last one! They look damaged though.”

Your tears seemed to burn into your cheeks not stopping for a second. Your hand kept phasing through the desaturated Arthur in front of you. His words imprinted themselves into your mind. After hearing his voice for so long, to hear a echo-y version of his voice.

His real voice…to see him here in front of you shiny copper hair a bit less bright, and milky white iris, long hair pulled back into a ponytail, and freckles splashed across his face, freckles all over him actually. An old jacket of your draped over his cream sweater, black pants with knick-knacks and drafts overflowing from the pockets.

A cool hand laid on your shoulder, only able to reach because of the levitation. Was Arthur taller? He looked more mature? Was he older…? What happened?

“Are you okay (Y/N)?” -Tall Soft Anon (Also sorry accidentally started this as a request >-> so ignore that also this was super fun to write, ur welcome for extra angst lolz)

You stared at his pale face in disbelief, how in the world was he here? Was this your Arthur? It had to be, he mentioned the feather you gave him. Ender, how is this even possible? An icy finger swept across your cheek, rapidly cooling the warm tear stains.

“(Y/n)?”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and screwed your eyes shut. A laugh echoed in the room, “(Y/n) you can’t hide from me, I’m finally here with you.”

You hesitantly opened your eyes and he was directly in front of you. After blinking rapidly and rubbing your eyes, he was still there. His smile was like it always was: wide, innocent, and cheerful. “H-how?”

Arthur winced slightly and glanced off to the side, “that- that doesn’t matter. I’m here (y/n), can you believe it?” A lively laugh bellowed from him, “I’m actually here!” He grabbed your hands and pulled you into a small dance. Granted he was merely moving your arms around and pulling you in circles, but despite the icy skin, he was here. He was actually here!

A watery chuckle escaped you as you returned his grin and spun him around, some of the redstone that had found it’s way onto the floor getting blown upwards and glinting in the light, accentuating the air around you two in a flurry of red sparkles.

Suddenly, he stopped dead in his tracks and your arms were yanked from the change in momentum. He didn’t look you in the eye, “I can’t be here forever, (y/n). Our time together is almost up, it’s almost time for you to wake up.”

You bent over slightly (he had really grown taller since the last time you saw him) and put your hands on his shoulders. “Artie, what do you mean? You just got here.” He said nothing, instead reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small colorful magnet. It was somehow a picture of you and him when you had given him his first pair of goggles and gloves. You both were smiling cheekily at the camera with your cheeks pressed together, redstone smeared across Arthur’s face.

You looked at it before looking back at your son, “A-Arthur, what-”

He was smiling at you bittersweetly, “keep that to remember me. I… I really don’t want to be forgotten, (Y/n)… I don’t want to go yet,” his breathing picked up, “I don’t want to go!” He lunged at you and wrapped his lanky arms around your midsection, sending you to the ground in the process. You landed on your bottom with a small grunt before you made quick work of hugging him as close to you as possible.

You placed a kiss in his bushy hair, “I’ll never forget you, my little fledgling. I promise, we’ll find a way to stay together. I won’t let anybody take you away from me again.” He clutched your jacket tighter and burrowed his head into your shoulder, sobbing loudly between multiple “I don’t wanna go”’s

“Arthur, your time here is up.” You whipped your head up to see the person you didn’t want to see: Kristin. She was looking at the scene with melancholy and a frown tugging at her lips. Arthur whimpered and hugged you tighter, his fingers pinching your skin.

You glared at the goddess with an amount of hate you didn’t know you could harbor for someone. You picked Arthur up in your arms with slight difficulty and wrapped him in your wing, some loose feathers falling off in the process.

“You will not take him from me. Not again.”

“(Y/n) you must understand, he doesn’t belong here.” Kristen stepped closer to you. Her intense aura was nearly suffocating.

You turned your body away from her, “YES HE DOES. HIS PLACE IS WITH ME AND ME ONLY. I WON’T LET YOU TAKE HIM.” You ran a hand along his tied back hair soothingly.

“Fledgling-”

“NO. YOU DON’T GET TO CALL ME THAT WHEN YOU’RE TRYING TO TAKE MY SON AWAY.”

She stood there silently for a moment before sighing wistfully, “I’m sorry for what I have to do.” Without a second word, her fingers snapped and your hand was stroking the air. You looked on in shock and anger as Arthur appeared by her side, his hand in hers. Endless tears streamed down his cheeks as he tried to run at you, “(Y/N) DON’T LET HER TAKE ME!” You tried to run at them before she raised a hand up to snap once again. The last thing you heard was his terrified screaming.

“(Y/N)!”

You shot up in your bed with your chest heaving. Eyes flickering frantically around the room, you realized that you were in your bedroom. You put your hands over your mouth in an attempt to cover up your choked sobs and let the dam break.

Tears dribbled out of your eyes as you sobbed quietly into your hands. You just got him back, why did the universe keep ripping him away from you?! It wasn’t fair. None of this is. You just want to see his smile again.

“I’m sorry... I’m so sorry, my little fledgling.”

You cried until the sunbeams peeked through your window and you heard the tired shuffling of Philza’s feet on the carpet and the content hums from Wilbur outside your door. They didn’t bother begging for you to come downstairs with them anymore, not after you locked yourself in your room in your grief.

A shuddering sigh escaped you as you rubbed at your stinging eyes. You reached over to grab your glass of water on your nightstand before freezing when your fingers wrapped around something that definitely wasn’t a glass of water.

You furrowed your brows before looking down at it in confusion. When you recognized what you saw, your breath hitched in your throat and a shaky laugh escaped you.

There in your hand laid a magnet.

fuck man I’m cryin in da club rn. It was fun to write tho!

#hellion's ramblings #submissions #tall soft anon #hellion's tall soft anon #not canon #submission

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bizarre-alien · 4 years ago

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Saturday Morning

I made a short Erasermic fic on Saturday, and I just wanted to post this here because why not! It takes place when they were in their 20s, and Shota is gonna do something bold after a night of clubbing with Hizashi which, apparently, didn't turn out so well!

Saturday mornings were hard sometimes. Waking up hungover while my brain tries to recollect memories of last night only makes me numb with this dull melancholic ache in my chest. I stretched out my limbs across my bed to find that I was all alone. “Shocker.” I thought to myself sarcastically. I slowly turned my body over to get my phone that was on my nightstand. To my surprise, it was hooked up and charged. “No, I was too drunk to do something this responsible.” I mumbled as I unplugged it. There were some unread messages from Yamada, and it brought this warm feeling inside that my heart seemed to crave.

“Last night was WILD! Please text me when you wake up. I need to know you lived! 😭”

“I did lay you on your side with a bucket, pukey! 🤣”

“OMG ARE YOU ALIVE?? I MISS MY BEST FRIEND!”

“I should’ve just crashed on your couch instead of taking the cab back to my place… Could’ve saved myself from stress and money… LMAOOO”

“SHOOOOOOTAAAAAAAA”

I couldn’t help but to laugh at his sweet attentiveness. He never failed to put a smile on my face even if he wasn’t around. I took a selfie and sent it to him. “I lived, bitch. 😤”

I felt my stomach shock from anticipation as I saw the ellipsis pop up. “YOU LOOK GOOD FOR A DEAD BITCH!!” The ellipsis came up again. “Also, you looked cuter than me in the shirt I let you wear. If you wanna keep it, you deserve it! I have your shirt, and it’s nice and clean! I think I’ll wear it today!”

I couldn’t help but to blush at his remark. “It’s mine now. I’ll take good care of it.” I looked down to see which shirt it was, and I gasped. It was an exclusive shirt from one of his favorite bands that he got at a live show. The exact one that he said he wanted to be buried in. “WAIT ARE YOU SURE BC I JUST SAW WHICH ONE IT WAS”

“It’s okay!! I’d rather see you wear it instead. 💖”

“... That’s very sweet…”

“How do I look? I’m going for that Shota Aizawa look. Don’t mind my lack of pants, please. 🥰🤣” His selfie nearly made me drown in affection. He looks so good in my shirt… And his legs...

“*Chef’s kiss* You rn…” Were we flirting, right now?? No. He has someone, right? “Wait… Are you flirting with me to make your so jealous? What did he do wrong, now? 🥴” The ellipsis came up, but went away… Then again… Then nothing. I began to worry. “Zashi, I’m playing. You know that, right?” The other end was radio silent, and I felt anxiety surge through me. Was it a sore topic and I didn’t know? Did I just ruin our friendship? I mean, how would that screw everything up? After all we’ve been through for the past 7 years, that couldn’t have been the final straw… right? I was pulled from my overthinking by my phone vibrating. It was Zashi calling, and I picked it up immediately. “Was that a bad thing to say? Because I am so sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt-!”

“It’s okay, Sho!” He chuckled reassuringly to me, but I could hear the pain in his voice. “I forgot that you black out when you’re drunk… No, me and him are done. You broke his nose when I came to you crying about it. We had to leave the club because of all the drama, but no one knew who we were… Thank God, right?”

“Yeah…” I was silent for a moment as I tried to remember what happened.

“Sho! We’re leaving. Come on!” Hizashi roared as he made his way to me.

“Hold, hold, hold. What happened?” I stopped him in his tracks and grabbed his arms. “Zashi, are you okay? Where’s-?”

“Who cares? I hate him! Let’s go!”

“But you left me to blow him in the bathroom! What do you mean you hate him, now-?”

“I wish I didn’t, and I’m so sorry! He’s a monster in disguise, but I was too stupid to notice AGAIN!!” Zashi burst into tears as he held onto me tightly. We stumbled a bit, but I held him back with all I had. I feared that this was gonna happen.

“I knew there was a reason why I couldn’t stand him.”

“Baby, you got it all wrong! I love you, Hizashi! I wanna marry you!” I heard the voice of Zashi’s former lover, and the alcohol in me decided to take control of my body.

“You take another step, and you’ll regret it! Don’t think I won’t have you on the ground, you piece of garbage!”

“Sho, let’s just get out of here! I gotta go!” Hizashi pushed me towards the exit. “It’s not worth it!”

“Hizashi!” The moment he grabbed Hizashi’s arm, I went feral.

I dug my nails into his wrist to get him to let go of my best friend. “Piss off!” I roared as I got Hizashi behind me. Before I could register anything, I felt my right fist connect with his nose hard enough that it sent a shock up to my shoulder. “I knew you were trash the moment I laid eyes on you! You don’t deserve Zashi!” I wanted to go for more, but I felt a multitude of hands grasp at me and pull me towards the exit. I managed to spit on Zashi’s ex before we were escorted out of the club.

“Oh my God, Shota! That was intense!” Hizashi grabbed my shoulders and shook me. His makeup was smeared from his tears, but it made him look like an ethereal being. “You good?”

“Mmh.”

“I can’t believe you did that for me! You’re so sweet! Oh my gosh, like you- Oh, God!” He backed up as he looked at me again. “Alleyway. Alleyway!” He guided us to the alleyway and held my hair the moment I let everything out. “Oh, God. It’s on your shirt. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!” When I spat out the remains, he gently took off my soiled shirt. “You are so lucky that I have on something sexy underneath this tee! I guess this may be a sign to dress sexy for myself instead of waiting for someone to see it in private, huh?” He pulled off his band tee and handed it to me with a smile. He had on a fishnet long sleeve bodysuit with nipple coverings, and he looked like the biggest rockstar in that moment… but, that was my best friend… My best friend is the biggest rockstar and he’s holding my gross shirt.

“You’re so freaking nice, Zashi!” I began to tear up as I put on the shirt. “I’m so sorry!”

“I should be sorry! I didn’t listen to you. I just listened to his dick!” We laughed like a couple of hyenas as we took our drunken selves to our favorite place to eat when we drank our weight in booze.

“Zashi." I sighed and shook my head. "I’m so sorry."

“Thanks. It hurts, you know? He wasn’t who I thought he was. I guess… I don’t know how to pick ‘em, huh?” He tried to laugh, but he went quiet.

Never in my life did I want to reach out to him through the phone and hug him as much as I do now, but all I could do was hug him with my words. “You have a big heart and a warm presence that deserves to be honored and cherished, and he just didn’t get it. If I had the chance, I’d punch him again. You deserve so much better, and you will get that.”

“When, Shota?” There was a pause.

“When the time and place is right.” I wanted to say right now and with me, but I chickened out. “That person will love you and nurture your heart, and that person will be the most lucky human in all existence and memory.”

“I wish it were-” He paused and sighed. “I wish it happened now.”

I felt my heart jump and my mind started to race. Did he want me? Should I risk it all? Were we both too afraid of screwing up our friendship? “Hizashi…”

“Hey, do you mind if we meet up somewhere? Your place, my place, a restaurant… Anywhere, honestly! I just need to see you. Sorry if that sounds clingy. I just-”

“Of course! I would love to meet up. You’re going through a tough situation, and I’m more than happy to be there for you.” I smiled. “You can come over to my place and we can decide if we wanna go out or not.”

“That sounds good. I’ll get coffee on the way, okay? I know you need it.” He chuckled.

“You’re the best.” I sighed in relief. “I think coffee would solve a lot of problems, right now.”

“Hey, Shota?”

“Yeah?”

“I want you to know how much I value our friendship. We had rocky moments, but there isn’t a day that I’m not grateful that we smoothed things out. I can freely be myself around you, and that’s really rare nowadays because all these fakes are roaming the streets.”

“It doesn’t help that you’re well known, huh?” I joked.

“Exactly! You keep me from losing my mind… You inspire me, you encourage me, and I know I can be vulnerable with you and you wouldn't judge me for it! I just really love- Ugh... No, I should stop. I’m getting sappy.” He burst into laughter.

“Funny enough, I needed to hear that.” I blushed and rubbed that back of my neck. “Hizashi, I actually wanna talk to you about something when you get here. It’s important to me, so that’s why I wanna wait.”

“Oh, for real? I’m not in trouble, am I?”

He was so cute. “No, not at all!” I snorted.

“Good! Give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be there in a bit.”

“In Hizashi minutes, right? I'm guessing that it'll be an hour before you get here.”

“Shut up, man! I can’t help the fact that I’m a high maintenance scatterbrain!” He whined on the other line.

“Whatever. Just get here when you get here. You know where the spare key is, so I’m gonna take a shower and clean up the place a bit.”

“Sounds good!”

“Okay, cool. See you then.”

“See you!” He sang then hung up.

I looked at my phone with a whirlwind of emotions. The comfort of his voice still in my heart, but it wrestled with the anxiety that I felt in my chest as I knew what I set myself up for. The timing seems wrong, but I was so caught up that I could care less. What if he hates me for even confessing now? Yet again, it seemed that he was dying for me to confess… I just know that this is the last Saturday morning I wanted to spend hungover by myself. I wanted to wake up to messy blond hair in my mouth, limbs entangled, and the sweet smell of his natural scent mixed with the ghost of his perfume of choice from the night before.

The feeling was so strong that I clutched my pillow for dear life, and I couldn’t tell what kind of tears were falling from my eyes. All I could do is lay there and imagine what could possibly become a reality while also fear that I could make this imagery impossible if I said the wrong things. Funny enough, this hurricane of emotion is something that I’m just observing. Somewhere deep in my core, I felt a sense of relief and peace. And it was that very peace that gave me the strength to get up and get ready for a life changing discussion with my best friend.

Thank you! Bye!

#erasermic #aizawa shouta #shouta aizawa #yamada hizashi #hizashi yamada #hizashi x shouta #maizawa

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trensu · 5 years ago

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Episode 33: The One where WWX Needs to Stop Touching Swords of the Un-Sexy Kind

So we start the episode with MAXIMUM PAIN

JC is crying and shaking and clinging to jyl’s dead body and I WANT TO DIE

Plus side, wwx grabbed the guy who stabbed jyl and choked him to death

Now wwx is surrounded by all the stupid idiots that comprise the cultivator world and they’re all hurling insults and accusations at him and MY POOR SUNSHINE BOY IS JUST HAVING A BREAKDOWN

We get a shot of lwj who is fighting tooth and nail against the cultivators but he’s surrounded and can’t get to wwx

Also, just so you all know, LWJ HAS THE BEST FIGHT SCENES. He just stopped two blades at once and knocked the guys down

Oh noooo, wwx pulls out his demon flute and starts playing! Resentful energy starts going even more crazy!

Lwj: wei ying, stop!

EVERYTHING IS AWFUL

AND IT’S ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE

Wwx is crying as he’s playing and i’m DYING INSIDE

Oh no! Wwx just spat a bunch of blood

Lwj sees him spit out the blood

AND SUDDENLY THEIR SONG IS PLAYING ON A CELLO, ALL SLOW, AND IT HURTS SO MUCH TO HEAR IT PLAYED THIS WAY

While lwj is distracted by the sight of his soulmate breaking down some ASSHOLE ATTACKS HIM FROM BEHIND AND CUTS HIS ARM

He takes him down and then slides effortlessly into another attack that manages to legit slice some dude’s neck open

OUR BOY IS NOT HOLDING BACK AT ALL, FOLKS

SO FAR LWJ’S MAD FIGHTING SKILLS ARE THE ONLY THING KEEPING ME TOGETHER

Oh no

Wwx just pulled out Plot Device 2 after getting the high ground, and lwj is watching him from below as he does this

Wwx: since you want it so much, come take it with your own ability

And he just chucks it to the crowd

We get to see all the greed and desire for power from all the cultivators here as they start cutting each other down to get their hands on this thing

It disgusts me

Now wwx is laughing BUT IT IS NOT HAPPY LAUGHTER. IT IS DESPERATE GRIEVING LAUGHTER, I HATE IT SO MUCH

AND LWJ IS WATCHING WITH A HELPLESS LOOK ON HIS FACE

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

WWX IS AT THE CLIFF

THAT ONE CLIFF WE HATE

I CAN’T DO THIS

OH GOD

Lwj: wei ying, come back

He says this so softly and full of desperation

He’s so scared

But wwx just steps back more, closer to the cliff’s edge and HE’S CRYING AND JUST LETS HIMSELF FALL

LWJ FUCKING LUNGES FOR HIM

OH GOD I CAN’T DO THIS

I CAN’T

Lwj barely manages to grab him in time and he grips him tight in his hand with all his might

Wwx looks so surprised, completely shocked that someone would try to save him at this point

Lwj, on the other hand, has a grim determined look on his face. He caught his soulmate, just barely, but he caught him and he will not let go!!

Wwx: lan zhan

There’s blood streaming down lwj’s hand from the wound on his arm and it’s just pouring over wwx’s hand

Wwx just hangs there limply, making no move to pull himself up towards lwj

Wwx: lan zhan, let me go

NONONONONONONO

Lwj’s grip SLIPS FOR A SECOND THAT GIVES ME A FREAKING HEART ATTACK but he manages to adjust his grip and clutch at him HARDER

He hasn’t said a word! He hasn’t said anything bc he’s focusing everything he has on holding onto wwx

Then we see jc striding into the scene and I’M DYING I’M DYING THIS IS GOING TO HURT SO BAD

Jc gets to lwj’s side and looms over the both of them

Wwx: jiang cheng…

And wwx for a split second looks happy; he’s happy to see his brother bc it’s his brother, the guy who’s been with him since they were children

But jc draws his sword and glares at him

And that joy peters off into pained acceptance bc wwx thinks he deserves this

Nononononononononononono my yunmeng bros don’t do this to me, please no

Lwj: Jiang Wanyin, stop it!

LWJ IS SAYING THIS THROUGH GRITTED TEETH BC HE SAW JC DRAW HIS SWORD

HE SEES HIM AIMING IT THREATENINGLY AT HIS SOULMATE

AND HE DOES NOT HAVE THE STRENGTH OR ABILITY TO BLOCK HIM RIGHT NOW BECAUSE HE CAN’T LET GO OF WWX

Jc takes his sword and tells wwx to go to hell and strikes the stone between lwj and wwx

It’s enough to wobble where lwj is at and wwx SEES this and panics

HE WILL NOT BRING LAN ZHAN DOWN WITH HIM

So he yanks his arm from lwj’s grip and lets himself fall

Lwj: WEI YING

AND WE HEAR LWJ SHOUT HIS SOULMATE’S NAME. IT’S FULL OF DESPAIR BC HIS SOULMATE IS LOST TO HIM NOW

AND HIS FACE IS JUST ALL DEVASTATION AND HEARTBREAK

KILL ME KILL ME IT HURTS TOO MUCH

And then the camera pulls back and lwj looks so small standing on that cliff as jc just walks away

Lwj: wei ying

He says his soulmate’s name one last time in a pained gasp, like he can’t get enough air in his lungs, like breathing hurts, bc EVERYTHING HURTS, HE JUST LOST HIS SOULMATE

And then before, i can spiral into a nervous breakdown from the sheer ENORMITY OF EMOTIONS THIS SHOW JUST SHOVED DOWN MY THROAT...

We get a time skip!

~16 years later~

The scene opens to lwj playing ~their song~ on the guqin

Oh god it sounds so beautiful

It’s played in a way that sounds soothing and peaceful

Probably to keep the audience from finding a cliff and taking a dive…

Also, this is the first time we see lwj with his hair down! Or at least it doesn’t have a fancy hairpiece in it; it’s still tied back a bit tho

It’s a fucking travesty that we don’t get to see his hair like this more often. He looks so freaking soft here…

In fact everything looks so soft here: out of focus shots of wwx and lwj, a breeze gently rustling the curtains…

It really is just what i needed to recover from what happened like, two seconds ago, tho, so kudos to the showrunners

Now we get a quick series of flashbacks to mo xuanyu, the juniors, etc etc

The show’s like hey guys, remember 30 episodes ago we started telling a different story with a whole bunch of other characters??

Yeah, we didn’t think so, let us remind you real quick

AND ~THEIR SONG~ IS PLAYING THE WHOLE TIME

Okay, we’re back at present-day Ancient Fantasy China and wwx just starts regaining consciousness

Of course the first thing he does is tenderly watch lwj play their love song

Wwx: sixteen years...it feels like a dream

IT’S VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU KNOW THAT THE FLUTE PART OF THEIR SONG STARTS UP AS SOON AS WWX STARTS TO SPEAK

Lwj: you’re awake

I AM HAVING FEELINGS

MUCH LESS PAINFUL FEELINGS THAN 5 MINUTES AGO, BUT THERE’S A LOT OF THEM AND IDK WHAT TO DO

Lwj continues to play on his guqin

Wwx: i never thought i could still be alive

Lwj: the day you fell of the cliff, jc insisted on searching for your body but he could only see the bones of the dead

Wwx: what about you? Have you ever tried looking for me?

Of COURSE HE FUCKING DID YOU’RE HIS SOULMATE WHAT DID YOU THINK HE WAS GOING TO DO, OH MY GOD

Lwj: three years later, i went there but there were no bones left

God, they’re both speaking so gently to each other

like they can’t quite believe they’re able to have this conversation, that this reunion is happening at all.

Wwx: why three years later?

Lwj’s hands freeze over the guqin when he asks this

Lwj: these 16 years…

NOTICE HOW LWJ POINTEDLY DOES NOT ANSWER THE QUESTION

Wwx: if i say i don’t know where i was these last 16 years, will you believe me?

Lwj: yes, i believe you

His voice is all soft and full of feeling

Wwx: lan zhan, did you really believe me back then?

HAVE I MENTIONED THAT THEY’RE SPEAKING TO EACH OTHER EVER SO SOFTLY AND TENDERLY AND GENTLE-LIKE?? I AM FULL TO THE BRIM WITH EMOTIONS RN

WWX IS TEARY EYED THE WHOLE TIME, MY HEART MY HEART

Oh, now we cut to a freaking beautiful shot of lwj sitting on a rock with his guqin on his lap, surrounded by trees and a waterfall

HE’S FUCKING GLOWING IN THIS SHOT

And my god the scenery in this show is just so fucking gorgeous

Like, how did they make it so beautiful???

We cut back to wwx and watch as wwx steps out of the Silence Room (aka the jingshi, aka LWJ’S BEDROOM) and starts wandering the Cloud Recesses

And i’m here like ummm? Where’s your mask wwx? YOU’RE WANDERING THE CLOUD RECESSES PRETTY CONFIDENTLY THERE WITHOUT YOUR MASK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING.

We do get cute little flashbacks as wwx reminisces about the last time he was here tho

It’s bittersweet

Oh, he’s coming up to the library pavilion and ~THEIR SONG~ starts playing again!

WE FLASHBACK TO ANGRY BB!LWJ

LOOK AT HOW PRECIOUS AND LITTLE THEY ARE HERE.

BABIES, THEY’RE ALL BABIES HERE.

Y’KNOW, BEFORE THEY GET HIT WITH ALL THAT WAR AND LOSS AND EMOTIONAL TRAUMA

Now we cut to wwx wandering the back hills of the cloud recesses and there are bunnies!!! HELLO BUNNIES, WE MISSED YOU~!

Wwx picks up one of the bunnies and starts petting them

Wwx: little bunny, do you remember me?

SO CUTE, I DIE.

Wwx: i didn’t know that you were still being kept here after so many years!

He’s holding the bunny so gently and petting them AHHHH

Wwx: didn’t that fuddy duddy say he didn’t like you?

HE SMILES SO SWEETLY AT THE PRECIOUS LITTLE BUNNY

Wwx finishes his time with the bunny and casually makes his way towards the cold spring

HALF NAKED LWJ

WET HALF NAKED LWJ

CHILLING IN THE COLD SPRING BEING TOTALLY GAY

Oh, but when wwx realizes who’s in the cold spring, he gets this pleased little smile on his face!!

That smile slips right off his face tho when he sees that lwj’s back is littered with scars

The music here gets all low and ominous here too.

Wwx’s brows get all furrowed and his mouth drops open in shock

Wwx: whips?

Lwj turns around and sees wwx standing there

he seems pretty surprised to see wwx there, actually, his eyes widen and everything

When he does this HE REVEALS THE WEN BRAND BURNED INTO HIS CHEST RIGHT WHERE WWX HAD IT BURNED INTO HIM IN THE MURDER TURTLE CAVE

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Wwx lets out a little gasp and jerks back in shock when he sees it

At that, lwj immediately flicks his gaze downward and to the side in an obviously nervous gesture

He robes up pretty quickly from here (like REALLY quickly)

Wwx is still staring at him with his eyes all wide but not in a “omg hot naked dude” way; more in a “oh no, what happened?!” sort of way

Side note to mention I LOVE HOW LWJ LOOKS WITH WET HAIR, IDK WHY BUT I DO

Lwj: you’re awake

Wwx: lan zhan, the whips on your back...

Lwj: *looks down and doesn’t answer*

Wwx: you have always been a model among the disciples. What on earth have you done to deserve such a severe punishment?

His brow is all furrowed and he looks almost angry

But his voice is soft and serious and full of concern

And i’m sitting here like, OH BOY, YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LIKE THE ANSWER TO THAT QUESTION WWX

Wwx: lan zhan, answer me

WHAT IF HE DOESN’T ANSWER, WWX? HMMM? WHAT WILL YOU DO THEN?

REMEMBER THAT ONE TIME HE DEMANDED YOU ANSWER HIM AND YOU GOT ALL MEAN AND SNARKY?

BECAUSE I DO

I’M STILL NOT OVER IT, THAT WAS REALLY MEAN OF YOU

Lwj: *pointedly stays silent and keeps his gaze lowered*

And here the some lan disciples interrupt before we can get any answers

They’re here to give us Plot, how dare they

Apparently lqr got himself in trouble; couldn’t control a spirit or smth. What a rookie.

But we don’t care bc he’s wwx’s nemesis lol

Wwx and lwj rush over to the “Underworld Chamber” where lqr is at

Yes, they have a building called the Underworld Chamber bc the lan clan specializes in dramatics i guess

And also, somehow between the cold spring to the underworld chamber, lwj’s hair dries completely and he has it all done up again with his snazzy silver hairpiece??

Which, actually, is freaking hilarious if you think about it

Like, oh, gotta go save my uncle but if he sees me so disheveled he’ll make me write lines for sure...better get myself dolled up before i arrive there

Wwx does his cool magic talisman thing to bust open the doors of the dramatically named chamber and then locks the doors up behind them once he and lwj get in

Lwj looks very worried about his uncle, who is currently swooned into the arms of some rando lan disciple

Lwj immediately takes over the guqin bc he’s the Guqin Master and starts playing Magic Music

and the possessed sword is floating in the middle of the room exuding Bad Vibes™

Wwx whips out his shoddy flute and starts playing the Magic Music too bc it’s DUET TIME, BABY

Lol lqr immediately starts groaning when he hears the flute start up

Wwx’s like oh shit, lqr will recognize me if i play masterfully as i usually do so he switches from playing Magic Music to playing ~Their Song~ but, like, horribly??? It’s terrible terrible flute playing.

(also, like, i know they’re all acting, none of them know how to actually play the instruments their characters play but here i’m like ARE YOU EVEN TRYING?? DO THOSE FINGERINGS BELONG TO ANY ACTUAL NOTES???)

(I know i wasn’t the greatest at playing the flute in high school--okay, i was actually a pretty shitty flutist BUT EVEN I CAN TELL THAT THOSE FINGERINGS ARE BULLSHIT)

(okay i’m done yelling about the flute-playing now)

AND LOL LWJ’S FACE IS LIKE WHAT WHAT WHAT ARE YOU DOING, THAT SOUNDS HORRENDOUS HOW DARE YOU MUTILATE OUR LOVE SONG THAT WAY

Lqr: stop the flute! Get out!!

I’M D Y I N G LOLOLOL

Wwx stops playing and looks at lqr like, yikes

Lqr: no more…

And then he passes out like a drama queen omg

Wwx looks at lwj like “oops, sorry about your uncle??”

But after lqr is very much unconscious he starts playing Magic Music well again

So that all happens and eventually the sword spirit chills out and clatters to the floor

It’s still very obviously exuding Bad Vibes™ and doing this creepy whisper thing so of course wwx is like IMMA GRAB IT

OMG WWX STOP TOUCHING SCREAMING SWORDS

HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING JFC

Yeah so for some reason, wwx thinks it’s a good idea to touch the possessed sword and it starts screaming at him obvs and he starts to shake

Lwj is watching him all worriedly

The screaming seems to overwhelm wwx bc he’s flung back STRAIGHT INTO LWJ’S ARMS

Like, no hesitation. Lwj IMMEDIATELY catches him all tenderly as he falls

We cut back to the silence room with lwj at lqr’s bedside, checking his meridians/spiritual energy/whatever the hell

He’s very focused but all the juniors are cheeping at him like baby birds, it’s adorable

Except one of the juniors starts talking about the possibility of the yiling patriarch possessing someone and lwj opens his eyes and glares at him

HE GLARES SO HARD

AND ALL THE JUNIORS DUCK THEIR HEADS IN SHAME

Lwj dismisses them

Lwj: sizhui, go to bed

Lsz: but dad!!

Lwj: say no more, go

Lsz: yes father

I LOVE DADJI AND LSZ MOMENTS, I HAD TO INCLUDE THIS EXCHANGE

Lsz leaves and bumps into wwx who’s lounging casually outside that building. It’s night time. He’s dressed all in black. Wearing a mask. He looks sketchy af is what i’m saying.

Like, you choose NOW to wear a mask?? WHERE WAS THAT MASK EARLIER???

Wwx: are you okay, random junior that i’m fond of for some unknown reason?

And lsz opens up to him and starts being all Clever and talking Plot Points

Wwx is watching him puzzle this out and he’s so proud and impressed with lsz

Wwx: good analysis, it seems you’ve studied really hard!

More plot talk and then lsz is all why are you wearing a mask again?

Wwx: i’m afraid of being seen by some old friends…

“FRIENDS” LOLOL YEAH OKAY

Cut to a new scene. It’s morning time!

Lwj is staring longingly at wwx

Wwx: you’re not suspecting me are you? I’ve been sleeping for 16 years.

HELLO DENSE!WWX. CAN’T SAY THAT I’VE MISSED YOUR OBLIVIOUSNESS

HE’S OBVIOUSLY USING EVERY OUNCE SELF RESTRAINT TO NOT GRAB YOU AND KISS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU

Also, is this how he’s coping with being dead and resurrected? Pretending he took an extended nap?? this is a crowley approved coping mechanism, and i too approve of extended naps

Lwj: of course i believe you

Now they’re doing Plot Talk but we’re not gonna go into detail

Instead we’re going to enjoy their general proximity to each other and watch their pretty beautiful gorgeous faces as they bask in each other’s presence and talk smart with their wonderful voices

*dreamy sigh*

WWX IS BEING CLEVER

AND LWJ IS KEEPING UP WITH HIS CLEVERNESS

AND THEY REACH THE SAME CONCLUSION AND SAY IT OUT LOUD SIMULTANEOUSLY

BC THEY’RE GENIUS SOULMATES

(their conclusion has to do with Xue Yang and Plot Device 1 that may have something to do with Plot Device 2?? Only mentioning it vaguely bc it becomes relevant to wangxiantics later. We don’t need to know more than this lol)

Ooh, the end of their Plot Talk wwx says something about how whoever planted the sword ghost is obviously coming after him

Like, he realizes that he’s the target (presumably; i suppose it’s a reasonable assumption for him to make at this point). He stares off into the distance totally accepting of becoming the target again

But lwj gazes at him like OVER MY DEAD BODY IS ANYONE GONNA TAKE YOU AWAY FROM ME AGAIN, I JUST GOT YOU BACK!!

Maybe i’m projecting bc OVER MY DEAD BODY AM I LETTING ANYONE HURT MY PRECIOUS SUNSHINE BOY AGAIN,. COME OUT HERE AND FIGHT ME LIKE A MAN/WOMAN/NB PERSON

Now they’re back at the Underworld Chamber where the sword ghost (sans sword) is just chillin there and it’s all glowy and blue instead of smoky black.

Blah blah PLOT blah blah Follow the sword ghost blah blah Find sword ghost’s owner blah blah

Oh, and here lwj says they’re going on a trip together for Plot Reasons

Wwx is very excited about it. He hops and LEANS HARD into lwj.

Like, he’s putting weight into it guys, just getting all up close and personal with lwj’s strong sturdy shoulder~!

Wwx: i finally won’t be controlled by the strict rules here!

UM EXCUSE ME???

WHEN HAVE YOU EVER FOLLOWED THEIR RULES, WWX

WHEN

NAME ONE TIME

GO AHEAD, I’LL WAIT.

Lwj steps back slightly and wwx barely catches himself in time, it’s GREAT.

GUYS, OUR BOYS ARE TRAVELING TOGETHER AGAIN

ON A MISSION

TOGETHER!!

SIDE BY SIDE!

TO HUNT DOWN EVIL!

TOGETHER!!

JUST LIKE OLD TIMES BEFORE ALL THE ANGST AND TRAUMA HAPPENED!!!

Look at our boys! Together! In qinghe!! Qinghe brings back so many fond memories!

They go into town to explore

Lol, we meet a mountebank selling portraits of the yiling patriarch that are supposed to ward off evil

Wwx gets distracted by him and stays behind to chat while lwj keeps going

Wwx inspects the portraits and is SUPER DISAPPOINTED AND OFFENDED

THOSE PORTRAITS PHYSICALLY PAIN HIM

Wwx: the yiling patriarch was famous for his good looks! Who are these losers?? If you never saw the actual person, don’t draw randomly!! Stop misleading the younger generation! THEY HAVE TO KNOW HOW PRETTY I AM

Ah, poor wwx. Nobody can capture his beautiful perfect face.

SURPRISE JIN LING!!

ANGRY LITTLE BOY

KNOCKING DOWN THE POOR INNOCENT MOUNTEBANK

He’s all, that guy should be grateful all i did was kick him. I will kill anyone who mentions the yiling patriarch around me!!

Lol he’s such a brat, i love him.

Wwx: *internally* i wonder how his personality turned out this way. Poor temper, strong hostility. He learned all his uncle’s and father’s defects but none of his mother's strengths. If i don’t start working on him now, he’ll definitely suffer in the future…

LOOK AT WWX BEING A CONCERNED UNCLE!! I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

Except he hasn’t had much practice being an uncle so he brings up the time he pinned him to the ground with a talisman

Jin ling gets offended...

Aaaand here comes FAIRY THE WONDER DOG!!

Wwx hears the dog barking and making their way towards him AND FLIPS THE FUCK OUT

HE RUNS AWAY SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS

IT’S HILARIOUS

And we end on that high note.

Talk about emotional whiplash.

How can you make me want to tear my heart out of my own chest at the beginning and 40ish minutes later have me giggling like a loon??

Return to Masterpost

#WangXiantics #wangxian #the untamed #cql

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umpireofpopculture · 5 years ago

Text

You Make the Call

Like the rest of baseball tumblr, I’m very sad that we’re now 2 weeks into what should have been the baseball season. The abscence of baseball hurts more than the other sports, because baseball is supposed to be constant. From April through October, minus the All-Star break, there is supposed to be baseball every day. Obviously there are more important things happening in the world right now, but it still sucks not having baseball and all sports.

So I decided to put together a You Make the Call quiz for my baseball tumblr friends, just to give us something baseball related to do while we wait for sports to come home from the war. I haven’t done one of these in a while, but I put together some fun situations to argue about and maybe learn something so when baseball does come back you can yell at your tv when your local commentators butcher a rule while trying to sound like experts. If you reblog with your answers, I’ll @ you when I reblog the answers. Tag some ⚾️ friends too, my last YMTC post a while back died without interest but I figure people will do anything rn for some sports content.

Notes and Notations:

* R1 R2 R3 are the runners as they begin the play on 1st, 2nd, and 3rd respectively

* F# is fielder and the numbers are standard 1-9 notation for defensive positions

* B1 is the batter, BR is the batter-runner (the guy who started this play as the batter but put a ball in play and has become a runner)

* 1B 2B 3B HP are the actual bases, not the players in those positions

* LF CF RF are the areas of the outfield, not the players in those positions

* Assume that plays proceed as described and the umpires do not make any calls until the action is done, even though that’s not the way it would actually go down.

* All rulings are made with MLB’s Official Baseball Rules and the rule numbers presented with the answers are the newer current versions after the rulebook was restructured in 2016.

1. 1 out, R2. B1 hits a foul pop fly trailing toward the stands behind 3B. F5 chases toward the stands but badly mistimes his leap and lands in the front row before catching the ball. Assuming the ball was going to fall for a routine foul ball, R2 is lollygagging and does not return to 2B promptly. F5 sees and throws to F4 covering the bag and the throw beats R2.

A. B1 and R2 are out.

B. B1 is out on the catch, but the ball is then dead and R2 is safe at 2B.

C. B1 is out on the catch, but the ball is then dead and R2 is awarded 3B.

D. Foul ball

2. 0 out, bases loaded. It’s the bottom of the 8th in a 1-run game, so with the bases loaded the infield plays in to increase their chances of getting the force out at home. All 4 infielders are positioned on the grass/dirt line of the infield. B1 hits a sharp ground ball that passes between F3 and F4 before striking R1 in the foot as he runs to 2B. The ball rolls away towards RF. By the time F9 runs in to pick up the ball, R3 and R2 have scored, R1 stands at 3B, BR stands at 2B.

A. Nothing. 2 runs score, R1 and BR remain where they ended the play on 2B and 3B.

B. The ball is dead when it hits R1. R1 is out. R2 and R3 are sent back to their time-of-pitch bases. B1 is awarded 1B.

C. The ball is dead when it hits R1. B1 is out. All runners are returned to their time-of-pitch base.

3. 1 out, R1 R2. F1 never comes to a complete stop before delivering the pitch. B1 hits a ground ball almost through the hole on the right side but F4 makes a diving stop. Having no play anywhere but 1B, he throws to F3 and the throw beats the BR.

A. The balk is nullified because both runners advance at least one base safely. The out of the BR stands.

B. Enforce the balk because all runners including the batter-runner did not advance at least one base safely. B1 returns to bat with the same count as before the balk. R1 and R2 are awarded 2B and 3B respectively.

4. 0 out, R1, 2-2 count. B1, his team’s pitcher, is determined to get his bunt down, advance the runner, and prove to baseball pundits everywhere that the bunt is not dead and the National League way of pitchers batting is actually the right way to play baseball. He bunts at the two-strike pitch. The pitch strikes B1’s hand as it grips the handle of the bat, but comes forward and settles in fair territory. F2 pounces on the baseball and fires to 1B as the BR clutches his hand in pain. R1 advances safely to 2B.

A. This is a legal bunt as the hands are part of the bat. B1 is out and R1 stands at 2B on the successful sacrifice.

B. The ball is dead immediately upon touching B1’s hands. He is awarded 1B because he was hit by the pitch. R1 is forced to 2B because of this award.

C. The ball is dead immediately upon touching B1’s hands. Because he attempted to bunt, the pitch is called a strike. Because it is the third strike, he is out. R1 returns to 1B.

5. 0 out, R2 R3. Ground ball to F5. R3 breaks for home on contact and gets caught in a rundown. He makes it back to 3B legally, but by the time he does, R2 is standing there with his foot on the base. Both runners are tagged by whichever fielder ended up with the baseball after the rundown. Somebody is out here, but who?

6. 0 out, R1 R2. B1 bunts at the ball poorly, and the ball pops high over the pitcher’s mound. F1 sees the runners reluctant to run on this sure-to-be-caught ball and lets it drop before picking it up and throwing to 3B. F5 throws to F4 covering 2B, who then throws to F3. Throws beat R1 and R2, but the BR beat out the triple play at 1B.

A. Play stands. R1 and R2 are out and BR at 1B.

B. Infield fly. B1 is out. R1 and R2 are sent back to 1B and 2B.

C. Infield fly. B1 is out. R1 and R2 remain where they ended up on 2B and 3B because they were never tagged and the infield fly removed the force.

D. Infield fly. Triple play.

7. 2 out, bases loaded. B1 hits a shot down the line, clearing the bases. The throw to the cutoff man gets away and the BR comes all the way around to score. F3 calls for the ball, steps on 1B while holding it, and says to the umpire, “the batter missed first base!” The umpire agrees and calls the BR out. How many runs will score on this play?

8. 0 out, bases empty. B1 hits a ground ball to F6. F6 throws to F3, who bobbles the catch. He gets the ball securely pinned between his forearm and chest as the BR touches first. Is the BR safe or out?

For these last 2 questions about batting out of order, the offensive team has presented the following lineup to the umpire:

1. Aaron

2. Barry

3. Charlie

4. Daniel

5. Eric

6. Freddie

7. Gary

8. Henry

9. Ira

9. 0 out. After Aaron singles, Charlie bats. On the first pitch, Aaron steals 2B and Charlie takes the pitch for a strike. Charlie then hits a double, scoring Aaron. Before a pitch is thrown to the next batter Daniel, the defensive manager appeals to the umpire that Charlie batted out of order.

A. Who, if anyone, is out?

B. Who should be at bat?

C. What happens to Aaron?

10. Same as #9, but a pitch is thrown to Daniel before the manager appeals.

A. Who, if anyone, is out?

B. Who should be at bat?

C. What happens to Aaron?

Answers here

@pitchburgh you’re more plugged into the baseball tumblr network and know the @‘s to send out on this better than I; can you help me out?

#you make the call #quarantine boredom #when will sports return from the war #baseball #rules #long post

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kpopisthereasonihavenolife · 5 years ago

Text

TEASER

Kim Namjoon/Reader [F]

Genre: fae au, fantasy/magic, oberon!namjoon, human!reader, rebellion, angst, romance,

Warning(s)!!: violence/injuries, pollution?, corrupt gov., cursing, vomiting blood, nudity

Words: tbd

Series | One-shot | Two-shot | Drabble [Rated: T]

a/n: i’ve been working on this story almost nonstop the past two days and it’s growing A LOT in length. If it get too long then I may divide it into two parts (unless you guys want a monster lol). along with i’m debating on adding a couple scenes I didn’t originally attend to that may raise the rating >>’’ bUT that is still up in the air. this story isn’t on a lot of people’s radar and ik that, but I’m so so so invest in this story rn it’s taken place as my main wip atm LOL. I also am putting a lot of effort into proper world building and even if it’s tedious, i’m happy so far uwu

summary: A world were oceans never existed, but in its place were large and vast forests. Covering 75% of the world’s surface, the seven deep forests were a mystery that no one could solve. Treading too far in was forbidden by law, the forest too dangerous with unknown entities inside. Y/n knew better than to do something like go inside, but after a heist to stop the government from polluting the forests, things turn grim. She finds herself waking up in a place she doesn’t know with things far less human and far more magical than the world she’s used to. She finds herself being cared for by someone who claimed he can help her back to her home. Along the way, however, she may just learn something magical about herself that not even a King could have predicted.

[TEASER W.COUNT: 1.4K]

You twitched as you sucked in a sharp breath. Your body shivered lightly as you peeled open your eyes. Your skin felt dry and patchy from the water that had dried onto your skin and the mud that dried into dirt and covered your exposed flesh. Looking up, you only saw the dark sky with patches. It looked cloudy as rays of faint light peeked through them.

Wincing, you curled your body inwards and lifted your arms to try and cross over your stomach. You moved just a moment before you were already exhausted and dropped your limbs back down. You squinted upwards as your body ached. The last thing you remembered was you had fallen into the river and slammed into a rock. It explained your aching head and sore back. Taking a breath, you moved to roll onto your side before you forced yourself to lever yourself onto your forearm.

Your legs twisted as you then took sharp bursts of breath before pulling your legs up towards your chest. Holding your body up with weak, shaking arms, you moved to your forearms and knees. Hunched over, you breathed heavy and winced in pain. Your head throbbed as you crawled forward and hooked your fingers onto a piece of a jutted out tree trunk.

You tried to hoist yourself up to your feet by purely your upper arm strength, but quickly gave up with a shake of your head and a pain laced whine.

Your bare toes scraped in the grass as dirt gathered under your toenails and your torn clothes threatened to snag in the tree trunk. Your hair matted on the back of your head as the water had weaved it into tangles that were begging to be brushed through.

You kept your head held down as you squeezed your eyes shut, trying to gather every small piece of mental encouragement you could to get yourself up on your feet. Mind over matter seemed to be harder than it had been in the past. Biceps bulging and stomach tensing, you tried time after time to get your weak, shaking knees to hold up the rest of your body.

Falling back to the dirt and into the trunk for the fifth time, you sat full down, feet trapped under your rear as your hands reached above your head, cursing yourself for being weak. The wind picked up and the sounds it created made your skin prick with gooseflesh. The trees moaned as the wind whispered and cried.

For some reason, it was only when the wind spoke did you realize exactly where you were undoubtedly located. Your weak grip on the trunk weakened further as your fingers trembled and your lip was sucked between your teeth. Your body shook, but you couldn’t tell if it was due to the chilled air or the fear of being in a place you knew hardly anything of.

You were lost somewhere in one of the deep forests and you couldn’t be more afraid.

Hearing the crunching of leaves, you sucked in a breath and whipped your head up to look for danger around you and froze, seeing indeed something. Directly in front of you was pure white with a stripe of red staring dead at you. Gasping you pushing yourself off the tree trunk and back onto your ass as your body acted purely on fleeing, dragging yourself through dirt and grass trying to back away from whatever was in front of you.

A walking stick of wood at their side and a mask covering their face. No shirt and only fur coating his waist and legs as he walked barefoot. The grass beneath his feet seemed healthier and brighter than the rest around and you kept staring at the antlers branching out from the sides of his head.

“No!” You breathed in fear as your body collapsed backward and you could only wave your arms around in a pathetic display of defense. “No, go away! Go away!” Your eyes stung as your panic clenched painfully in your chest as you grew more and more breathless. Falling to your side, you curled up in terrified, painful trembles. Your eyes were frozen open as you covered your face with your arms as you heard whatever it was come close to you. You felt them at your back as they knelt. You whimpered when it was silent and jumped when they touched your back.

You gasped as you whipped your head to look back at them and you stilled. Their hand on your back was warm and somehow, your trembling stopped. They had set their walking stick aside on the ground as they traced their hand around the exposed skin of yours that your clothes showed.

You weren’t sure why their touch seemed to calm you. You felt like an animal being tamed as your body seemed to relax. They leaned over your body as they pulled you back on your back from your side and held your stomach down to keep you from acting up again.

“Be calm,” they spoke. A voice deep of a man that was smooth that made your cheeks redden. It was terribly seductive like nothing you've heard before. Raising one hand to their mask, they pushed it up their forehead to rest it on their head and reveal their faces. Your breath halted at this man’s beauty. Skin smooth and decorated in golden freckles. Eyes sparkling in a hue of the clearest blue and teeth white as snow with pointed canines. “I will not harm you unless you harm me.”

This man was nothing like you.

“I-I,” you couldn’t form words as you could only gaze at him. His brows arched as he saw something in your human eyes. He had been looking after your sleeping body for 2 days and he had plenty of time to inspect you. Humans were far different than him. Your eyes were astonishingly different from anything he’s ever seen, yet they were the most gorgeous. Something in them zapped with an energy he’d seen only once before in one other being.

“Can you stand?” He asked as you gasped again at your staring. You looked at your legs as they twitched and you steeled yourself into pulling them up towards your chest again. With the man’s help, you sat up and rubbed at your legs like they would help them hold your own weight. “Do you know how to walk, human?”

“Of course I do!” You screeched in an outburst that led to a coughing fit. “O-of course I do,” you repeated. “It’s just… difficult right now.”

“What about your arms?” He asked.

“Excuse me?”

“Your arms.” He repeated. “Are they strong enough to hold your body?”

“Well, I don’t know.” The man just remained silent as he moved in front of you. He grabbed your wrists and lifted your arms up. Pulling you closer to him, you squawked when he turned himself around and pulled your arms over his shoulders. Your chest pushed against his back before he put your palms together, encouraging you to clasp your hands. He moved to grab the walking stick at his side before he started standing up. “Woah, hey, hey!” You panicked, unsure if you would be able to hold onto him and not slide back down off this back in a pathetic heep.

You clutched your own hands at his chest, your arms looped around to his front tensing before he was standing tall. His stick was placed under your rear, supporting you as he held it up under you like a seat. Your weak legs dangling in front of him on either side of his naked waist.

He hiked you up further on his back so your chin rested on his shoulder by his neck. You could see the bone white antlers of his and see small engravings in them you didn’t notice before. His ears were slightly pointed and darkened at their point now that you saw them under his shaggy pitch-black hair. He turned to look at you, his freckled face closer to yours and electric blue eyes freezing your breath.

“I will take you someplace to recover. The Leaflets will tend to your injuries.” He knocked his head forward, his mask falling back over his eyes and covering the top half of his face. He then began to walk forward. You watched as he walked flawlessly over the grassy terrain and how grass would bloom under his steps only to wither the moment he lifts his foot up to step somewhere new.

-x-x-x-

a/n: was that good enough as a teaser? I had so many places and scenes I could tease but I went with this one towards the beginning alksdfjad lmk if you’re excited to read this fic! (pls it’ll boost my morale LOL)

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kpoptionate · 6 years ago

Text

nct dream ⇾ you wear their clothes

nct dream masterlist // official masterlist 02.24.19 genre: fluff a/n: is it obvious that i’m absolutely obsessed with nct rn orrrrrrrrr

renjun ♡

um,,,hope u live near a hospital bc u just gave him a heart attack

he left his room for five minutes to get y’all some snacks

when he comes back in he sees u rummaging through his closet

he doesn’t think much of it, but,,,when u walk out in his sWEA T ER

gO BACK. bE G O NE DEMON

poor bby almost goes into cardiac arrest because of how cute u look

u’re so !! adorable !! n cuddly !! n fuckin warm in his clothes !!

1000% bet he’s gonna give u a fat ass bear hug and topple u to the ground

n y’all are just gonna lay together in the middle of the floor cuddling for an hour uwu pls that’s my life goal

(note : pleAse on goD don’t have sweATER PAWS u’ll literally kill him pls n thank u)

jeno ♡

^_^

the cutest bub

when he comes to pick u up bc he said he would take u out for ice cream he didn’t notice u in his hoodie til he smelled his cologne when he hugged u

he gets this big ass grin on his face bc !! u’re always drop-dead gorgeous but like x 10 in his clothes

probably just stares at u for a good minute before actually doing anything ??

n u’re like “haha what”

n he’s like “nothin u’re just cute as hell in my clothes”

n then he gives u a lil kiss on ur lips n takes ur hand in his as y’all leave

deffo leaves his clothes around / at ur place so u can find it n wear them bc it’s just,,,the greatest

donghyuck ♡

kinda has a sense of,,,pride ?? is that the word ?

like yEah that’s mY s/o in mY clothes bitches can’t fuckin touch us

he feels like he can let it be known that u’re his without even having to say anything n he likes that

but deffo teases u about it too

“miss me that much u have to wear my clothes ? it’s only been a few hours, y/n”

“yeah u’re cute in my shirt but u’d prolly look better without it ;)”

acts like it doesn’t have an effect on him but secretly hopes u don’t take it off

n will force it back on u if u do

also expect cuddles w him

jaemin ♡

deffo puts it on u for u without knoWING THE CONSEQUENSES

y’all are walking down the street after a lil date or w.e but the wind’s picked up n u didn’t bring a jacket

so obV being the romantic boyfriend he is he takes his off n puts it on u

but,,,,he didn’t realize how cUTE U WERE GONNA LOOK

embarrassingly dramatic

like throwing his head back n clutching his chest as he kneels to the ground in defeat

n then rolls over like he’s dead

even as people passing by stare at him he keeps going til u walk away from him

but then he just hurries up to u from behind n wraps his arms around u n puts his head on ur shoulder

n he’s got that smile™ on his face (u kno which one i’m talking about at least i hope so otherwise this is embarrassing) n y’all are just waddling down the sidewalk like a pair of cute ass idiots

prepare for hours of cuddles when u get home

chenle ♡

y-you broke him,,,,

literally doesn’t know what to do ?

he just wanted to study !! he never asked to be attacked like this !!

u’re so distracting !! practically begging him to wrap his arms around u n squish u against him

n it’s v hard to keep his hands to himself when u looks so adorable in his hoodie so that’s exactly what he does !!

pulls u off ur chair onto his bed n wraps his arms n legs around u

causing both of u to fall back into the mattress

n doesn’t let u go no matter how much u struggle

“chenle what are u doing let go we have to study :(”

“this is what u get for being so cute in my clothes !! >:(”

gets super playful

puts kisses alllll over ur cheeks n makes u giggle n shit like that

pls wear his clothes all the time it makes him so happy

jisung ♡

loves it so much for like no reason lmao

u’re staying at the dorm w him n when u told him u were cold he said to get his blanket from his room

which is what he thinks u’re gonna walk out with

u’re taking a little too long to just grab a blanket so he’s a little suspicious

but it all makes sense when u come back out dressed h e a d to t o e in his clothes

his uh,,,,practice clothes to be exact

they’re dirty but he’s not gonna tell u that

regardless of they’re level of cleanliness, u look !!! so fuckin cute !!!

he’s a little shocked when u first come out but softens up when u snuggle up beside him on the couch

also tries to hide a smile every time he looks down to u bc u’re just too cute

pulls u flush against him n wraps his entire body around u like chenle

but instead of wrestling around it’s a very calm cuddling

n he nestles his head in ur shoulder n presses a smiley kiss to ur neck as he tells u to keep his clothes on the whole time uwu

request or ask anything here !

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prince-claremont-diaz · 5 years ago

Text

Whatever We Become

Summary: In Lucas’ final year of high school before he has to face the real world, he comes across the new identical twins, Eliott and Leo. Needless to say, Lucas falls head over heels for both of them.

Or The twin au absolutely no one asked for

Word count: 2.8k

Ao3 version

Chapter Eighteen: Give him time

With a shuddering breath, Lucas plucked his phone from the floor. It thankfully only had a small crack in one of the corners. He turned to his mum, lip wobbling. "Mum?"

She smiled knowingly. "It's the boy, isn't it?" Lucas nodded. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Lucas stood up on unstable legs, pulling out his wallet. He tossed in a handful of euros, bending down to give his mother a quick, tight hug. "Happy birthday. I promise I'll make it up to you again. Soon."

And then he was scuttling out of the restaurant, bounding down the street, feet hitting the pavement only barely as he practically flew through the streets. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, arms pumping by his sides, a whole drum set beating against his chest cavity, chest heaving. He pushed past multiple people, just barely dodging an oncoming car as he sprinted across the street, only looking back for a split second out of instinct.

Lucas sprinted the entire way through the endless side streets, panting, bounding past familiar and unfamiliar streets alike.

Finally, after sprinting for a completely undetermined time, Lucas stumbled to a stop, back in the familiar courtyard. He pulled his phone out of his back pocket, turning on his flashlight and pointing it around the dark area. "E-Eliott? Eliott?" he called, looking around frantically, tripping over his feet in the dark and shining the white light into all the windows and into all the corners. Nothing. He was too late.

Eliott was nowhere to be found.

Lucas bit his lip, teeth chattering and turned his phone screen on again. He read over the messages Eliott had last sent once again, tears beading in his eyes at the heavy implications of Eliott's messages. Lucas' knees buckled and he landed on the cold and slightly damp concrete, a sob escaping his lips. Eliott was gone and Lucas was alone.

As the sobs wracked his whole body, forcing him to lean against a wall of one of the grimey buildings, Lucas pulled up his contacts, scrolling frantically. His fingers trembled violently, almost dropping the phone as he clicked on the contact he needed. As he waited for the phone to stop ringing, Lucas stumbled to his feet. Finally, after only 4 long rings, Yann's voice came over the phone.

"Lucas? Is everything okay? I thought you were with your mum." Yann asked, voice laced with worry. Lucas never called unless he was desperate.

"Yann?" he sobbed into the phone, gripping tight and taking a few wayward steps forwards.

"Lucas? What happened? Are you okay?" Yann blurted, voice raising a pitch or two.

Lucas shook his head, wandering aimlessly out of the courtyard and making his way down the street with heavy, thudding footsteps. "It's Eliott. He's gone." Lucas hiccoughed, turning down a street he didn't recognise at all.

"Gone? What do you mean? Lucas you aren't making any sense," Yann said. His voice softened. "You have to breathe, Lucas or you're going to pass out."

Lucas gulped down a bucketload of air, though it did little to help. "Leo messaged me saying he couldn't f-find him and then Eliott messaged me and—" He interrupted himself with another wailing, echoing sob. "It sounded like a goodbye."

Lucas continued fumbling his way down the street, sobbing into the phone and earning odd looks from passersby. "Like a proper one? A goodbye goodbye?" Yann clarified, his own voice beginning to turn slightly shaky as he took in Lucas' barely coherent words.

"Yes. Fuck, Yann."

He scrubbed his hand over his face, making his way onto a larger main street. He could see a large foot bridge spanning across the great black water, which had another pathway underneath it. Lucas made his way over on jelly legs, tears still streaking his face and wetting his shirt.

"Do you need me to come and get you?" Yann asked on instinct, steadying his voice with a thick clear of his throat. It was much more hoarse than before, however.

Lucas sniffled, clambering down the steps like a drunk man. "I don't know. Maybe. I don't know where I am," he babbled, leaning against the stone wall for support, grappling for air though he couldn't reach it far enough.

Under the bridge, which was relatively high above the water, Lucas caught sight of a tall figure standing, looking down at the water. They were mostly cast into darkness, shrouded from view, a vague silhouette of a person. It was a vast contrast to the bright glow of the city which was blinding Lucas in his panicked state.

"Lucas? You there? Are you okay?" Yann's voice came over the line again, startling Lucas back into reality.

"One second. I'm-I'm gonna call you back." Lucas hung up the phone and turned his phone's flashlight on again. He walked over on uneven, frantic steps as he made his way towards the small tunnel formed by the bridge. The greyish water lapped up the sides of the bank, tiny droplets splashing upwards onto the pavement. "Eliott? Eliott, is that you?" he asked tentatively, shining the light towards the figure.

The other person gasped, falling to the ground while their hands continued to grip onto the handrail for dear life. "Eliott?" Lucas repeated, taking another step forwards, lighting the other properly the closer he got.

Eliott was on his haunches, fingers pale with the grip on the metal, tears soaking his face and shaking his head back and forth. "I can't. I can't. I can't," he kept on saying, voice broken and raw.

Lucas dropped onto the ground once again, leaving no space between them as he pulled Eliott into his arms. Eliott fell away, letting go of the bar and shuddering. He shook his head again, looking away from him with tears in his eyes. "Hey. Hey, look at me," Lucas whispered, tilting Eliott's chin up and leaning their heads together, "You're not alone, okay? You're not. And you are enough. You've always been enough." Lucas cupped Eliott's cheeks with his hands, staring into his deep swimming pool eyes and losing himself a little inside of their intense depth. "I'm here. I'm here and I'm not going anywhere."

Another sob from Eliott and then he was gripping onto Lucas' jacket, face buried into his collar, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane. Lucas rubbed his hand up and down Eliott's back, holding onto him like a life raft. "Shh, I'm here, Eliott. I'm here. I'll always be here."

◇

Eliott ended up staying the night at the flatshare after Yann came and picked them both up. He stayed mostly silent as they sat in Yann's back seat, clutching onto Lucas and leaning all of his weight on him. Yann didn't ask any questions, just glancing in the rearview mirror every so often and hugging Lucas out the window when he dropped them off outside the flat.

Now, on Sunday morning, Eliott was still there. He was fast asleep as usual, curled up in a ball under Lucas' duvet and dressed in a pair of Lucas' hoodies and t-shirts. Lucas was sitting up in bed beside him, half on his phone, half watching Eliott. Mostly watching Eliott. Lucas read over his latest texts with Leo then, trying to fill the time before Eliott woke up that afternoon.

Me: I've got him now. He's at my flatshare, is that okay?

Leo: is he okay?

Leo: my parents said it's okay for him to stay with you if that's what he needs rn

Me:He's asleep now, but that's all I can get from him

Leo: that's the usual. keep me updated

Underneath the covers, Eliott began to stir finally, stretching his arms out in front of him and rolling over, hands searching for Lucas. Lucas put his phone down on the bed beside him and scooted down a bit to allow Eliott to use him as a teddy bear, resting his head on Lucas' chest and gripping onto his hoodie. Lucas smiled, fingers combing through his tangled brown hair slowly. He was oddly content sitting there curled up with Eliott in his arms, despite the constant thrum at the back of his mind about Eliott's wellbeing. As long as Eliott was with him, he knew he was safe.

◇

The wind whipped through the streets of Paris, a chill spreading as autumn turned to winter, leaves fluttering from the trees and landing dead. A bus was pulling from its stop, grey fuel filtering out of the exhaust pipe. Lucas was standing on the edge of the pavement, hands in his pockets, watching, waiting.

"Lucas!" He turned towards the voice, smiling when he made eye contact with Leo as he crossed the road. They hugged briefly in greeting and then Leo stepped away, crossing his arms over his chest. "Shall we head to a cafe or something?" he asked, gesturing down the street. Lucas bobbed his head, following him. "How is he?" he asked, glancing around, a slight nervous energy radiating off him as they walked together past shops and restaurants.

"He's still really only sleeping and only eats a little bit," he said, "But I don't really know how he's feeling now. He isn't talking much and I don't want to scare him away." They turned into a small cafe at the corner, sitting down across from each other under the blue umbrella.

Leo frowned, chewing on the inside of his cheek. "That's normal. After he has an episode he's usually pretty tired for a few days. Just, you know, give him time," Leo explained, shrugging. A waiter came over carrying a notepad and the two boys paused their conversation to order coffees. "Are you going to school tomorrow? You should," Leo asked once the waiter had left.

Lucas shrugged, fidgeting with the silver sugar tongs on the plate between them. "I dunno. I don't want Eliott to be left all by himself while we're all out at work or school." Leo gave him a look, raising an eyebrow. "It's not that I don't trust him. I just don't want him to get lonely or something," Lucas added, flushing under Leo's look.

Leo shook his head and replied, "He's not a child Lucas. He can take care of himself. I'm sure he'll survive a day by himself." He paused, watching a lady walking past with a toddler and a small pomeranian. "God knows he's used to being alone all the time…" he muttered.

"What's that supposed to mean? Alone all the time?"

"Not exactly alone, really. Our mum has been ill on and off for years and usually stays at the hospital and our dad always worked late, so that's why we pretty much live alone now," Leo explained. He paused as the waiter placed their drinks and cake on the table, muttering his thanks. "He's been lonely for a long time, I think. He lost touch with friends recently and he's struggled with making friends since his diagnosis. Everyone found out at school and it wasn't very fun for him."

"That just makes me want to leave him alone even less," Lucas said hopelessly, fingers skimming through his hair.

"I'm not an expert, but right now I think he just needs support. Whether that's from a distance or not is up to him, really," Leo said. He took a sip of his drink, wincing and adding a couple sugars to his coffee using the tongs, swirling the beige liquid with a teaspoon. "But be prepared to… deal with some shit. Sometimes he snaps at you or pushes you away, but don't let yourself think he doesn't like you. Because he does. He never fucking shuts up about just how much." He smirked, wiggling his eyebrows.

Lucas leaned back in his chair, taking a gulp of his latte and briefly taking a look at their surroundings. Despite the cold, it really was a nice day, birds chirping and the sun low in the sky and washing the city in a pleasant glow. "Thanks for meeting me today, by the way. It's helped a lot," Lucas admitted, putting the coffee cup down on its plate. "I've researched all about bipolar disorder almost constantly the last few days, but I still had no idea how to help him or be there for him. So thanks."

Leo shrugged, holding his hand up for a fist bump over the table. Lucas obliged, rolling his eyes and smirking. "No problem, man," he said, dropping his hand in his lap. His smirk fell from his face however and he glanced down at his plate. "I should probably apologise about the other day, as well. For shouting at you and then ditching you in the middle of the city at night. That was pretty shit of me to do."

Lucas shook his head, touching Leo's wrist momentarily. "It's okay. I get that you were just stressed about Eliott," he reassured, eyes softening.

Leo sat up straight, huffing. "But that doesn't give me an excuse for how I reacted. You had absolutely no idea what was going on and you weren't to know about what to do or not do if Eliott hadn't told you yet," he said, speaking rapidly, "Yeah, I was scared because that was a pretty bad episode in a long time, but you looked even more terrified with the situation. I shouldn't have been so harsh." Leo placed his hand on top of Lucas' and sent him a half smile. "So, I'm sorry once again."

They sat in silence for a little while after that, drinking their coffee and watching the world go by. It was pleasant again with Leo. Lucas had almost forgotten about how comfortable he could be around Leo. But something still nagged at the back of his mind, a whisper that grew louder and louder until it was almost screaming in his head.

"You said your mum has been sick on and off for years. What did you mean by that?" Lucas asked slowly, tentatively, voice low and hesitant. He sipped his drink, looking up curiously over the rim of the cup.

Leo scratched the back of his head and drummed his fingers on the table, nervous. "Ever since I can remember, our mum has always been pretty unhealthy and weak. She often ends up in hospitals long term for treatments pretty frequently," he explained, frown deepening with every word, "She was doing okay for a good while recently, but she fell ill a couple weeks ago and had to be sent to emergency care in the middle of the night. I think Eliott was staying at yours that night, actually." Now that he thought about it, Lucas could remember how Eliott had gone, stating that Leo had called him to come home for a family emergency. His gut twisted horribly as he remembered the slight bitterness he had felt when Eliott left him, now seeing as it was because his mother was sick.

"Eliott never took it well, our mum getting sick. He tells people she works a lot like our dad, but she's just usually too sick to leave hospital or hospice," Leo added, almost choking on his hot coffee as he remembered the extra detail. "It's a complicated situation to say the least."

Leo's phone chimed in his coat pocket then, a light, tinkling sound and he pulled it out to look at his message. His eyebrows furrowed with focus as he read over the message and then he slid it back inside his pocket, finishing off the last few mouthfuls of his coffee in one large gulp. Lucas squinted his eyes and tilted his head as Leo proceeded to get up from his seat, wiping his mouth on his napkin.

"That's my cue to leave, unfortunately. But it was good to see you," Leo said, pushing his chair under the table. He pulled out a few euro coins from his wallet and plopped them onto the table.

Lucas grabbed his wrist to keep him from going. "You're sure it's okay for Eliott to keep staying with me?"

"I think it's better for him right now. He feels safest with you, clearly, so yeah." Lucas nodded, dropping Leo's wrist. "See you at school tomorrow?" he added, raising his eyebrows.

Lucas nodded, smiling. "Probably. See you later." He watched Leo crossing the street again, waving over his shoulder and walking back in the direction he had originally come from earlier. Lucas continued to sip his coffee and eat his cake for a few minutes before going inside with the cash to pay for their food and grab a croissant to go.

With the birds singing their light tunes and the lightest of breezes on his skin, Lucas wandered his way back to the flat, happier than he'd been in a while.

#skam france #elu fic #elu #eliott demaury #lucas lallament

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broodyjc · 6 years ago

Text

Breath Of Life

(It was a heliotrope.

Eternal love

And Sam is all that comes to her mind.

Eternal love.

And she wishes Sam would’ve stayed long enough for Alex to be brave.

Eternal love.

And Alex spends the next minutes coughing up another fistful of petals.)

It happens two weeks after Sam leaves.

And all Alex can think is if Sam is doing better, if Ruby is adapting well to her new school, if things are getting closer to normal as time passes, if Sam spends as much times as she does thinking about her.

If Sam cares.

If Sam will come back.

Sam, Sam, Sam. It always goes back to her.

The deep tug at her lungs comes as a surprise, then, just as she brought the bottle of warm beer to her lips. A growing, incessant pain, rippling through her tissues and settling strongly against her bones. Her throat starts to tickle, and there’s nothing she can do to stop the coughing fit that takes over herself.

It’s nothing like she’s ever felt before, she clutches to her chest in despair, body doubling over on the couch and she falls to the ground on her knees in her poor attempt of getting up. She can’t. And she coughs until there’s no air left, then some more.

Alex feels her eyes burning with tears she prevents from falling and how sore her throat already feels, how weird it is to feel something getting back up, up and up until it’s out. The offending pieces stare back at her as her mouth hangs open.

The scene should be comical, it would be comical by anyone looking from the outside. Not for Alex. Because resting at her carpet, barely a foot away from her, a few light purple petals hastily bundled together, as if they were crumpled together in a fist and shoved down her throat to be found later.

Later had come.

If she shoves the petals at the bottom of her trash can and goes for the stronger drinks, it’s to convince herself the last ten minutes hadn’t happened. If she spends the rest of her night staring at the ceiling, hands clinging tightly to her thighs in order to keep them from shaking, it’s not because she’s nervous.

In the end, she is not. She is terrified.

What a way to start her week.

(When she goes to bed, she makes sure the trash is taken out with the other handful of light purple petals she coughed out.

She doesn’t need the reminder.)

If she gets home from the DEO the next day, takes out her laptop to the kitchen counter and doesn’t sleep until three am, she has a reason.

(It was a heliotrope.

Eternal love

And Sam is all that comes to her mind.

Eternal love.

And she wishes Sam would’ve stayed long enough for Alex to be brave.

Eternal love.

And Alex spends the next minutes coughing up another fistful of petals.)

Her research is extensive. And it’s such a cliche, that she would’ve fallen in love with the one who would never love her back, and the unrequited love would end up killing her. She laughs when she thinks about it. Alex Danvers, DEO’s most trusted agent, the one who’s being looked at to become a director once J’onn steps out, survivor of the Daxamite’s invasion, hero of the battle against Reign, savior of Supergirl most often than not, defeated by… petals.

Killed because she was in love with the wrong person.

Dead by suffocation because of vines growing inside her lungs.

How lucky of her.

It has a name, because of course it fucking has. Hanahaki disease, born from unrequited love, filling up her throat with flowers until she started coughing them up. Hanahaki disease, cured by the feeling of love being returned in the same way, romantic love. Hanahaki disease, three months until it’s deadly, maybe longer with total isolation, until she suffocates in flowers, if she chooses not to forget her.

Alex won’t, it was never an option. She will not forget Sam, she will not settle for looking at the woman who holds her heart and not being able to feel what she feels. She will never be so resigned to the point where she will go to such extent. To look at Sam, to think of Sam, and not feel her heart racing, the high her body gets just by hearing her voice. She will never do that to the woman she loves.

So, if she only has three months, she’s gonna make them worth.

It’s hard to “make them worth” when she spends most of her time locked away down the labs at DEO, trying to ignore Kara’s worried glances every time she so much scratches at her throat to keep the petals down.

No one has seen it. Not yet. If she has any say on it, no one will see, not until it’s finally too late. She’s not ready to explain how she can’t let go of those lazy moments they shared in the lab, she’s not ready to forget the grateful, warm smile she was always on the receiving end, she’s not ready to be striped away from every memory that made her fall in love with someone else at a time she didn’t thought she would be able to move on.

How could she tell anyone, how could she tell her sister, she valued memories over her own life?

She sighs, adjusts the way she’s sitting hunched over the microscope and takes a look out the glass windows. There’s barely movement out, the agents having gone home hours ago, to enjoy a nice, slow Friday out, Supergirl out there in her usual rounds, and Alex was alone.

How she wishes Sam was here, how she wishes Sam would call, hell, how she wishes Sam would text her back.

The tug in her chest grows heavier, the roots steadily growing and finding foundation, nutrition to grow as they kept shutting her systems down. She knows what’s coming, she knows she can’t stop it.

Falling forward, she braces her head in her arms, and coughs, until there’s no strength left in her core, her lungs burning in need to let go of more. There’s too much already, and she doesn’t have an idea how she’ll survive eleven more weeks of that.

She breathes heavily through her mouth, a sharp intake of air to be let out as a shaky sob, it’s the only moment she realizes she’s been crying. So she presses the heels of her hands to her eyes, expects to will back the tears from falling down and it only makes it worse.

In the table, five petals stare defiantly at her.

J’onn steps out and she’s made the new director.

All her energy had already been used to spit petals, so, when Kara announces that they should celebrate, just the two of them, she lets herself be dragged away, lets Kara’s excitement pull out small smiles from the corner of her lips, adverts her eyes every other time she has to get up and lock herself in the bathroom with the faucet turned on.

Kara is worried, that much is clear, and she knows if things were the other way around, she would be as well. But she can’t tell Kara, doesn’t want to tell Kara, because she’s not ready for the pity and confusion. She’s not ready to say goodbye.

There’s a knock on the door, and she hurries to crash the petals, flush them down, not leaving a sign of what’s happening, not daring to let Kara think something is wrong.

“Is everything okay?” Kara’s voice is low, hesitant, afraid to know the truth that Alex has been keeping secrets from her, has been doing something they had promised they never would. That something is very, very wrong and she can only watch from the outside.

I’m dying, she wants to say and fall into her sister’s arms, let herself be cradled and taken care of for once in her life, to share the burden thrown into her shoulders with someone stronger than herself.

There are flowers growing in my lungs and I’ll stop breathing if she doesn’t love me back, but it feels too much like throwing the blame at others, and Sam should never feel guilty of something that happened. It’s not Sam’s fault, Alex was just born when luck ceased to exist.

“I’m fine.” Alex manages to choke out as tears prick at the corners of her eyes, realization sinking in.

I have ten weeks left, please don’t be mad at me for leaving you, and her throat is scratching again.

Eternal love, yeah, yeah, she gets it.

It gets worse as time passes.

Logically, Alex always knew it was going to happen, it was the rational progression of things: she gets the first symptoms, she learns to live with them, it gets worse, she learns to deal with worse. It’s logical. It’s simple. It’s easy.

Until it’s not. Because, as much as Alex told herself she was ready for it, nothing stops her from standing in the middle of her lab, way past one in the morning, staring at an intricate, though small, vine, possessing exactly three petals. And it shouldn’t be any different from all the times it had happened before, and there were many times before that, yet, it is.

Delicate thorns are starting to show, the pain on her throat dulling at the sight, because this time it had been different. This time, it had hurt more. And it makes sense, because she only has nine weeks.

The reality of her development, of her condition, seems to settle in, and she can’t help it. She locks the door of her lab, lets her body fall to the floor in a dampening thud, and stares blankly ahead.

She’s leaving Kara on her own, when she promised she would always be there no matter what; she’s leaving Winn, when he had finally become her annoying little brother she loved above anything else in the world; she’s leaving Eliza, when they’ve reached the point in their relationship where Alex is comfortable in being herself, she’s accepted for who she was; she’s leaving J’onn, when he struggles with the loss of his family everyday, and she’s making him lose another daughter.

She is leaving, and she won’t change her mind. All of that because she can’t phantom the idea of thinking of Sam, of looking at her name, of remembering her smile and not feel the calmness washing through her veins, the warmth spreading through her cells, the love blooming on her heart.

It’s a sad realization that she’s ready to hurt so many people because she wants to keep hurting. Because she doesn’t want to forget what feels like to love Sam. Because she is afraid that, if she forgets what this feels like, she’ll never be able to feel it again.

Alex is not as subtle as she thinks she is. And it only takes Lena twenty minutes to realize exactly what’s wrong. In all honesty, Alex should’ve expected, because it doesn’t take a genius to realize she’s not in her best shape, but there’s one sitting right in front of her ever since she arrived at Kara’s apartment, and it’s an unspoken agreement that Lena knows.

Part of her is relieved, to share the burden of the secret that’s been keeping her from closing her eyes at night with someone else, feeling flowers slowly growing inside of her. The other part, the bigger part, is absolutely terrified, because Lena won’t understand, because Lena will try to convince her otherwise, because Lena will have to share this with Kara.

Being terrified appears to be a feeling she’s been in touch a lot lately. Terrified of a fate she has a way of changing, but not enough willpower to do so.

Lena doesn’t say anything, though. She sits patiently sipping at the red they’d been sharing for the night, eyes lingering a little longer than usual at Alex’s figure every time she excuses herself for longer than five minutes, every time she clears her throat a little more forcefully, every time she swallows her wine with the smoothness of someone who never drank before.

And, at the end of the night, Lena excuses herself the moment Alex gets up to go home. If Kara hugs her a little tighter, a little longer, none of them mention it, and Alex cannot shake the feeling that they know something is wrong. They just don’t know how wrong it is.

The wait for the elevator is awkward, filled with a lingering silence that neither Lena nor Alex knows how to break, the ride is worse. Alex sees how Lena’s shoulders square, head held high and gaze set forward, a look Alex know all too well, to never show weakness, to show nothing fazes you. She knows things are about to change, because it will only take one question for her to break, to spill the words she’s been dying to say ever since it started.

And Lena, god, Lena was there to listen. Willingly. Showing the silent support she never thought someone other than Kara would be able to provide.

She is leaving Lena, the woman who loves her sister above anything else, who would risk her life to save those that, maybe, aren’t all that worth saving, who would laugh in the face of danger, than drown her sorrows in way too expensive wine. A woman after her own heart.

“How long?” Alex doesn’t look at her, choosing, instead, to let her gaze fix at her shoes, the black leather shinning with the elevator dim lights. “Until you...”

“Ten weeks, if I’m lucky. Doctor expects six or seven.”

“Are you going to tell them?” Alex manages a smile, it’s small, a little too fake, and they already know the answer. “Are you going to tell her?”

It’s where all the roads lead at the end. Telling her. Telling her and facing the look of pure pity on brown eyes, mouth hanging down in shock, guilt washing over her features as rejection spills out of her lips. Telling her, and hearing the words she has always prepared herself to listen to, but never got quite ready for it. Telling her and, and–

“I don’t want her to live with the guilty of knowing that I died because she couldn’t love me the way I needed.” The elevator finally stops at the lobby, Alex shoots her arm up to hold the doors open to let Lena out first, a self depreciating smile at her lips when she looks at warm, green eyes full of comprehension. “I can’t burden her any further.”

Lena nods like she understands, and maybe she does, because Lena is the woman who carries the weight of her family name on her shoulders and doesn’t let anyone help her. Because, at the end, Lena would be the one person who would understand, who wouldn’t question her, who would respect her decision even though she doesn’t agree with it.

Lena gets it and the burden is shared, either she likes it or not. She wishes she would’ve gone to Lena sooner.

Alex starts having trouble breathing during her missions at the DEO. She feels like she runs with someone pulling her back and, when she stops, there’s a fifty pound weight set on top of her chest.

She has trouble breathing, and she has to force the air down her lungs in ugly intakes of breath, a chocked, wheezy sound that leaves all of the younger, and some of the older, agents looking worriedly at her.

If she excuses herself to a dark, secured alley, and empties her stomach with the violence of her coughing, she hopes no one sees it. She thanks whatever deity is out there that Kara wasn’t with them in this mission. She breaks down, and cries for the second time since Sam left, with her back against a brick wall, with garbage discarded along her feet, and a smell she thinks she’ll never forget.

She cries, and every time she feels like it’s stopping, another memory of Sam comes rushing back.

What a nightmare of a kid you raised.

We’re gonna find out together, okay?

I think there’s another person out there for you.

When you wake up, please be Sam.

Please be Sam.

Sam.

She calls her mom instead. The words stumble out of her mouth before she can even process what’s happening, and, now that she started it, she can’t stop it. It feels good, letting all the words out, because, even if Lena knew, they never discussed it, Alex never said the words out loud. Not until now, at least.

“I’m dying, mom.” It hurts more than she thought it would, because it’s the cruel reality that her pain has a deadline, but the people she’ll leave behind will hurt forever. Because death hurt for those who live.

“I’m booking a flight for as soon as I can.”

“No, no, mom, please, don’t.” Alex rubs her eyes with the back of her hand, tries to compose herself, coughs two times and forces herself to believe they were purely to steady her voice. “I haven’t told Kara.”

“Alex, you have to.”

“I know, it’s just” and for a moment, all of her reasons seem too silly, too weak, not enough. “I’m scared. Of leaving her.”

“Honey, you”

“I have to go, mom, I’ll call you later, okay? I love you.”

Alex doesn’t give her a chance to answer. She hangs up, tosses her phone to the side not bothering with the force it lands with the screen against the concrete, and ignores the calls she gets, and the texts that follows. She doesn’t know her next step, for what feels like the first time in her life, she doesn’t have a plan. She hates the feeling.

Forcing herself to stand, she puts one foot in front of the other, picks up her phone and turns it off before pocketing it, returning to her position as if nothing has happened and ignores how everyone stares at the redness of her eyes. She just really wants a drink.

She misses having company to get drunk. So it’s no surprise she gets home that day, takes the most expensive bottle of whiskey she has ever bought from the back of the cabinet, and doesn’t think twice before leaving.

It’s a Friday night and the streets are busy, making her have to squirm her way through crowds to get to her destination. Alex hugs her jacket tighter against her body, the light breeze of middle fall making every breath painful, but she got used to it, the pain is familiar, is a reminder of the inevitable.

No one tries to stop her once she enters the building, there’s no one there to stop her if she’s being honest. The security guard barely even spares a glance in her direction before going back to the football game playing at the small TV on top of his desk. Jess is not there when the doors slide open, never for a second she thought Jess would be there.

It’s a Friday night, and it’s way past midnight, and the only person who would still be there would be Lena, and no one could convince her otherwise.

Alex is polite enough to knock on the door when she gets there, sees the bags under Lena’s eyes from where she stands leaning against the door frame, raises the bottle she held against her hip for dear life as she walked. Lena’s shoulders slump down, the tension leaving her for a split second, giving space for the smallest hints of a smile to take over her lips.

Maybe they both need a break, maybe Alex’s been craving this for longer than she thought, maybe Lena has to be looked after with a little more attention before she works herself to exhaustion.

They don’t make it to the couch. Lena’s blazer is spread on the floor as they sit on top of it with their backs against her white desk, hips pressed together as they lean against each other for support, glasses are never retrieved from cabinets, and they share long sips directly from the bottle.

The silence that stretches is good, it’s calming in a way it’s never been before, and Alex could never phantom the possibility of getting this far, this comfortable with the person she once thought she would never trust. The reality she lives in is: she would trust Lena with her life, hell, she would trust Lena with her sister’s life.

“I’ve been” Lena stops, takes a long sip of the whiskey in one go, barely seems fazed by the alcohol and Alex is even more impressed by this woman “I’ve been doing some research.”

“Lena-”

“Alex.” She lets her head drop in defeat, a sigh leaving her lips because there’s no way she’s winning this argument. “There’s this new procedure, it’s still experimental, that remove the bigger vines, it gives us some more time to think about what to do next.”

It gives us more time to change your mind, it gives us more time to make you realize dying for love is madness.

“And I already called in a favor, they are willing to take you to testing to see if you’re to be considered for the procedure, I-” Alex’s hand fall to her covered thigh, leaves a gentle squeeze there before meeting her eyes for the second time that night.

Lena is crying, has been crying for who knows how long, dark, prominent stains against her cheeks, her mascara tracing the path the tears made before.

“I don’t want it, I already made my choice.”

Simple like that.

“You can’t die.” Her voice breaks at the last word and it shatters Alex’s heart with it. “Wh- What about Kara, and Eliza, and, and… What about Supergirl?”

It’s the confirmation of what Alex always suspected, the recognition that Lena knew and always went out of her way to help because it was Kara and Kara is the most important thing. There no one else she would rather leave Kara with.

“She has you, and you have them. You’re gonna be alright.” The coughing fit that follows is the less violent in weeks, it doesn’t mean that she doesn’t spit out a perfectly developed flower, almost an inch long, the biggest proof that her time is running out. Lena stares at it, with the awe of a scientist and the worry of someone losing a friend. “It’s a heliotrope, they mean eternal love, kind of cliche if you ask me. They don’t usually grow much more than this, more flowers just start coming in the vines, so I’m guessing I don’t have as long as I thought, but there’s no blood yet, so who knows.”

“You’re really okay with that.” Alex smiles, gives a single nod to Lena before placing the delicate, purple flower on top of her thigh, where they could both stare at it. I’m already living in borrowed time. “You really don’t want to get it removed.”

Not if it means I’ll forget her.

“Would you do it? Even if it meant forgetting every single moment you had with Kara?”

“No.”

The answer comes fast, in an unwavering voice of someone with enough confidence to show the love she feels, even with all the chance of getting hurt.

“Then you know why I can’t do it.”

Her ringtone blasts loudly with the clock rapidly approaching two in the morning. She was the furthest thing from sleeping, laying in the middle of her bed, arms behind her head as she stared at the white ceiling of her apartment. The open window being enough to provide just the right temperature that she pulled out an old, large shirt and gray sweatpants, before settling into bed.

She has been sleeping less this past months, and the last three days were the worst. She would turn to the side, to realize the position hurt her lungs, and would get up as fast as she could to try to reach the bathroom, to come back to bed, close her eyes and start the cycle all over again.

It’s a chain reaction; she needs silence to sleep, silence makes her think of Sam, thinking of Sam makes her throw up. The only reasonable course of action, of course, was to sleep as little as she could, it’s not like it would matter in the long run anyways. She only had four more weeks before her lungs would shut down, machines keeping her alive for who knows how long after that.

But, what makes her speed out of bed, vision blurring slightly for the lack of oxygen, is because the call came to her personal number. At two in the morning, it was never good news. Ruby’s name on her shattered screen only proves her right, and she already has her car keys in hand and she’s looking for her shoes when she answers.

“Did something happen? Is Sam okay? Are you okay?”

Is Reign back?

“Alex, things are fine.” She was seriously debating whether or not she could leave the house barefooted when Ruby finally said something, the words being enough o calm her down for now. Leaning her forehead against her front door, she lets out a shaky, uneven breath. “I just missed you.”

“You could’ve called earlier, like, literally, any other time.”

“Sorry.” She doesn’t sound like it at all.

“It’s okay, kid. I’m just getting old, my heart can’t take many of those anymore.” She drops her keys back on top of the counter, before sitting at the couch. “How have you been?”

It’s all it takes to make Ruby launch into every single detail she missed on the past two and a half months. She’s the best midfielder in her high school, has been trying to convince her mom to let her start traveling for the away games, she’s been learning how to cook with Sam taking one evening off a week to teach her, she’ll joint the track team next semester and go to soccer camp in the summer.

Ruby is being a teenager, a normal loved one, and Ale’s heart warms at the thought. It doesn’t mean that she doesn’t feel her throat closing, the air getting thicker and harder to reach her lungs, her stomach begging for her to just let go.

There’s a long pause on the call, long enough that Alex takes the phone away from her ear to make sure it wasn’t disconnected, before placing it back. She clears her throat, waits for Ruby to say whatever she needs saying. She doesn’t, and with an awkward laugh, Alex says “I should probably let you go to bed. You have school tomorrow.”

“Alex.” She hates that tone, because she knows it all too well. Its the same one she used to use, the tone of a kid who never knew how to ask for what she wanted. Alex hates it, because she knows she’ll not be able to say no. Because it’s Ruby. And Sam. “Can you come visit?”

Yes, yes I can. She uses her free hand to wrap her fingers around the hem of her shirt, tugging at it to keep her from blurting out what she wants. I want to see you, and your mom, one last time. She cannot say that, because she knows it’s a one way ticket to cutting her time in half, when she still has so much to do here. I want to tell you I love you, just so you know you are loved.

“I should talk to Sam first, if she’s okay with it, I don’t see why I can’t go.”

I’m dying anyway, a week changes nothing.

“My mom will say no. She doesn’t know how to ask for help.”

“Does she need help?”

“Not like that. She’s just” Ruby doesn’t say anything else, as if she’s looking for the right words to say it, to make Alex understand. “she hasn’t been sleeping. She doesn’t think I notice, but she’s overworking, even at home, and the only time I caught her sleeping was sitting at the dining table, on top of work. She cries at night, when she thinks I’m asleep.”

“Ruby...”

“Alex, please, mom barely talks about National City and, when she does, it’s about you.”

It’s about you. And she wishes she could say she felt roots metaphorically spreading through her chest, but they were quite literal.

It’s about you. And she feels the moment everything shifts in a way she always expected but was never ready for it.

It’s about you. And the pain comes differently this time, ripping her sternum open, not asking for passage through her throat as it shoots up without her permission.

“I’ll see what I can do.” She hangs up, because Ruby shouldn’t have to listen to her knees hitting the ground, her body giving out the moment after, fingers coming up to grasp at the base of her neck, wishing she could just scratch out whatever was there.

It’s a perfectly formed flower that comes out, but it’s hard to see with all the blood covering it. If she didn’t know any better, she would’ve guessed they were red from the beginning.

“I thought it was Maggie, for a while at least.” They had found themselves at the same spot where this all started weeks ago. Lena had her bag hanging from the crook of her elbow, eyes set forward, patiently waiting for the elevator doors to open. And Alex? Well, Alex had a what used to be white tissue cleaning the blood from her mouth, a bottle of water to try and get rid of the taste lingering on her tongue. “But it’s Sam, isn’t it?”

Feels good to be seen.

She crumples the tissue in her fist, shoves it deep inside the pocket of her jacket.

“I wish things could’ve gone differently.”

“Yeah.” The elevator dings, the doors slide open and, again, Alex holds it open for Lena to step in first. “Me too.”

She leaves for Metropolis on a Saturday morning, her ticket back to National City already bought for the next afternoon. She still hasn’t told Kara and her mom calls her every night, the promise of going to National City no matter what leaving her lips at every goodbye. Alex knows there’s no way of preventing it, she has roughly three weeks, and she has a lot of people to tell.

None of that is important when the plane lands, and she clutches her backpack as close to her body as possible. She’s thirty minutes away from Sam, and, maybe, three months too late for her own health, but none of that matters either.

What matters is, when Sam opens the door in middle laugh, she freezes, with light brown eyes boring into her own. That she freezes for long enough that Ruby squeals and runs past her mother to hug Alex as strongly as she can. Ruby is taller, at least she thinks so, and stronger too, but that can be just a side effect from the lack of sleep, and you know, the ticking time bomb inside her chest.

Speaking of which, it tightens around her organs, seeing Sam makes it hurt more than it normally does only by thinking of her. Because Sam is more beautiful than she could ever remember, because Sam looks at her with something akin to affection that makes Alex hope, because Alex is sure, now that she’s close again, that she would’ve fallen in love all over again, even if she had forgotten Sam in the first place.

Eternal love seems like the right description.

“The pancakes are burning.” Are Sam’s first words, and it only takes a look at each of them for Ruby to take the spatula from her mother’s hand and go back inside muttering under her breath.

Sam doesn’t say another word, she surges forward instead, wrapping her arms around Alex’s neck, face tucking at her shoulder, and Alex feels like she can breathe for the first time since Sam left. She feels the oxygen entering her body, going through her cells, and she knows, that this will be the last time she’s able to breathe like this.

She understands what Ruby was talking about, it happens when she snakes her arms around her waist to bring her closer, to press their bodies completely, and maybe Alex didn’t have the chance of doing that for so long, but she notices the difference. Sam’s thinner, her arms don’t hold all that strength they used to even before everything, like her body is giving up over something she had no power to control.

They make quite a pair, with Alex looking like she hasn’t known the word sleep for the past month, dark circles under her eyes and a pocket full of bloodied tissues, and Sam looking like she would collapse at any given step.

Her cheekbone are more prominent, Alex notices as soon as she takes a step back, and her collarbones peek from under her shirt, being so big that it barely hugs her figure.

“What, I mean, how?”

“Ruby called. Can we talk about that later? I just really missed you.” It’s the easiest admission of her life, the way her eyes shine makes her heart race and palms sweat, the lingering touch on her neck seizing with a gentle parting squeeze.

“Come in, we’re having late breakfast.”

“So, like, brunch?”

Sam’s laugh is a sound she never thought she would hear again, and, now that she has, she doesn’t want to think about the day she won’t get to hear it again. She doesn’t want to think about how that day is tomorrow. How this is, after all, the beginning of a series of goodbyes.

“Don’t you want the pancakes?”

“Oh, I never turn down free food. Learned it from Kara.”

The way Sam smiles makes her think that maybe, but she won’t. Not when it has the potential of destroying the last shred of hope on the back of her mind.

She only excuses herself once in the course of the afternoon, it happens when Sam’s smile gets so big the corner of her eyes crinkle in the softest of ways, and it’s directed at no one but Alex. She feels like her heart could burst out of her chest.

Blood comes out of her lungs instead.

“You haven’t eaten all day.” Is all Alex says when Sam finally leaves the bathroom that night, hair pulled up in a messy bun, barefoot, and a large shirt stopping barely at her mid thighs, but Alex is sure that any shirt Sam wears would be too large for her. She should’ve come sooner.

And she stands at the kitchen counter, a plate of chicken braised in olive oil with vegetables in front of her, the chair pulled back with her hand at its back, a silent invitation for Sam to sit down. Or, maybe, less of an invitation and more like a command.

Alex hadn’t missed the way Sam’s thumb pressed against her open palm whenever she started to feel anxious, or how she barely even touched her food before she cleaned up the table, or the way her smile was genuine for only a fraction of time before the light dimmed in her eyes. Alex noticed Sam, all of her, and she cared, oh, how she cared.

That’s why, even when all the lights are out in the apartment and Ruby is sound asleep, a pillow and a blanket waiting for her on the couch, after a long discussion she only won because Sam got tired of fighting, she still sees the way Sam’s throat bob, the hard swallow she takes, much like Ruby does when she’s caught doing something she shouldn’t.

“I’m not hungry.” She hums, nonchalantly, but doesn’t take her eyes off of Sam, she couldn’t even if she wanted to.

“I know. But you have to eat.” Her mouth start opening to argue, but Alex is faster. “Just try, please.”

Sam sits down, takes the fork in her hand, and Alex pulls the other stool next to her. She doesn’t even think before placing her hand on Sam’s thigh, thumb making small circles against the smooth skin, and, god, if this doesn’t feel like everything that’s been wrong in her life finally set its course in the right direction.

Of course, her lungs choose this moment to constrict, start fighting for air, but she doesn’t throw up, barely takes in a ragged breath as to not scare Sam.

“I haven’t been able to eat or sleep like I used to. It’s like my body hasn’t understood that I’m me again, that I need this.”

“We’ll get to that later, okay? You’re doing amazing.”

Alex asks about Ruby, only if so to take Sam’s mind out of her task, and it’s easy, then, to listen to Sam talk with love on every word and remember why she fell in love in the first place.

Alex hangs onto the words, how her lips curve to form them, the sound of her voice, as if it would be the very last she hears, and, every time Sam rests the cutlery and lets that hand rest on top of Alex’s own, her heart flutters in her chest in a way she’s not sure whether is good or bad. If it’s gonna give her another month or kill her faster.

Then, Sam gives her this look, more than half of her plate already gone, and Alex acts on instinct. She leans forward, press her lips to her temple the same moment she squeezes her thigh just a little harder. She hears the sigh, her shoulders slumping with the weight she’s been carrying.

“You did great, love.” It slips out with such ease, she has trouble believing it has never happened before and, if Sam is bothered, she doesn’t show. “Get ready for bed, I’ll keep you company until you fall asleep.”

Sam doesn’t try to argue this time, her eyes almost dropping closed, and Alex hurries to cover the plate with PVC plastic before putting it in the fridge, dishes to be dealt with later.

Sam’s waiting for her when she gets there, standing at the side of her bed, fiddling with her fingers as if she doesn’t know how to proceed. Alex doesn’t either, so she opens the blinds to let the bright glow of the city bathe the room, turns off the bedside lamps, to, lastly, sit down at the bed, her back against the headboard.

“Don’t make this more awkward than it has to be.”

With a small laugh, she follows Alex, but lays down completely and turns around to face her in the dark. If anyone would look beautiful with a yellow lamppost light shinning against her eyes, making the bags under them seem way deeper than they actually are, that person would be Sam.

Just her luck.

“I wish you would’ve called me sooner.”

There’s a smile, she is sure of it, but it’s gone so fast she starts to doubt if she really saw it to begin with.

“I didn’t want to bother you, you have a lot on your plate.”

“Sam,” she calls, fingers aching to trace the sharp edge of her jawline, accentuated by the glow against the white pillow, “you, Samantha Arias, are the furthest thing from a burden to me. You are my friend and I-I care so much about you.”

I love you. But she doesn’t say it, instead, she gets closer, lets Sam’s fingers find the hem of her shirt, lets them wrap around it for dear life.

I love you. But she doesn’t say it, instead, she lets her eyes trace every line of her face, to try and commit it all to memory, every freckle, every expression line, every fading scar from something that should never have happened.

I love you. But she doesn’t say it, instead, letting her head fall to the wood supporting her weight, and closes her eyes.

I love you. And I’m sorry.

“Promise me you’ll call me, every night. And when you can’t eat as well, so I can distract you.”

Sam presses closer, the side of her face resting against her thigh, the ghost of a kiss left on top of the shorts covering her skin. “I promise.”

She doesn’t leave her side that night.

They spend a nice day out, and they share a doughnut as they wait for Ruby to decide what she wants for breakfast at the small bakery at the corner of their street. The domesticity of it alone would be enough to make her forget how to breath, but Sam kept making things harder.

It was on the way she would throw her arm around Ruby’s shoulder and turn her head back to look at Alex, the kindest of smiles on her lips, and Alex would find out that she didn’t need to breathe all along. It was on how Sam would steal her sup of coffee, a carefree laugh on her lips and not a trace of tiredness on her movements.

It was on the way Alex’s tongue would grow heavier, the words forming deep inside, to be shoved down again, flowers coming in their place.

It’s just a cold. She hurried to say when the coughing fit got too heavy and she felt like her lungs would give out before she even had the chance to tell her sister, black spots covering her vision and Sam’s hands on her side to keep her balanced. And I’m too much of a coward.

She tries to convince herself that the way her chest tightens and the air refuse to reach her lungs is only in her head the moment she turns around to leave Sam.

She gets drunk in cheap wine she bought at a Seven-Eleven in Lena’s office two days after she comes back to National City. It’s ugly, to say at least. She ends up curled on the two seat couch, head resting against Lena’s lap as she cries, because it just hurts so fucking much.

Lena lets her, Lena lets her and she only runs her hand through her short auburn hair, she doesn’t lie and tell her things are going to be okay when they’re not.

Lena lets her, and she presses her face a little further against her stomach hoping no one would hear her sobs, not that there were other people around.

Lena lets her, and she feels so vulnerable at the moment, so loved, that she has a hard time finding her words after.

“Promise me you’ll take care of them.”

“I will, I promise.”

Thank you, but the words don’t leave her mouth, instead, she her whole body shakes and she stains Lena’s white blouse with blood.

Kara blinks slowly with half a sticky bun inside her mouth and sugar around her lips, maybe blurting out in the middle of brunch at the counter top of her apartment wasn’t the best option to begin with.

Maybe it was the words. Maybe it was the defeat in her voice, the resignation to wait for it to end. Maybe it was on the pleading look Kara sent her way, begging for it not to be the truth.

“You’re what?”

Dying. She casts her eyes down, chooses not to answer the question burning in her sister’s tongue, chooses to not look at those blue eyes, chooses to show her instead.

It’s easy to find a tissue with a beautiful, red stained vine with three purple flowers, all she had to do was reach inside her back pocket. That one came in the morning, right after Sam texted her that she would be busy for the day, and probably wouldn’t be able to call until late night. A rejection that was not quite one, but felt the same to her body nevertheless.

“Turns out Hanahaki disease can actually kill you. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you before.”

“What are your options?” Kara’s voice sounded just like Supergirl’s, and she only needed one look to realize her posture matched the tone. She hated this, she hated how Kara would handle, because she wasn’t ready to let go.

“There aren’t any. Look, Kara, I chose not to forget, okay? I made my choice and my peace with it a long time ago.”

“What do you mean you don’t have options? How” Kara’s voice broke, it sounded so small, much like the one from the girl who came to live with them over a decade ago, like she was losing everything again. Maybe she was, and maybe Alex was selfish, but it was her decision. “how long do you have?”

The words got caught on her mouth, she couldn’t say them, she couldn’t admit to her sister that, in less than a week, she would be gone. That she would break the one promise she never thought she would. That she would leave her alone, when all Kara needed was her.

“I’m calling Maggie, she loves you, we can”

“That’s the thing, Kara, it’s not Maggie.”

There’s a knock on her door, and she takes the opportunity of not having to face Kara’s confusion even if it means just letting whoever it was in. She didn’t expect Sam. A healthier Sam, with color on her cheeks and looking like she’s been spending more than five hours in her bed at nights.

Sam, with a small, blue cardboard box clutched to her chest, handbag resting against her hip, and a shy smile barely visible behind the locks of hair falling in front of her face.

Sam, and her lungs constricted in a way they never have before.

“I thought you were busy today.”

“I was.” Sam shrugs a half shrug, and Alex suddenly feels completely exposed at the way Sam keeps looking at her. “I had a flight at seven am to come scream at my idiot friend.” Friend. Of course, she wants to throw up. “I just didn’t know you’d have company.”

She had forgotten about Kara, Kara, who looked at her with the most fake expression of power, the telling not even in the crinkle this time, rather in the slight tremble of her lower lip as her eyes never left Alex.

“Kara was just leaving.”

“No, I wasn’t.”

“Yes, you were.” Alex hugs her with enough force to hurt, and maybe, this time, Kara feels it, because she hugs back just as strongly. Alex doesn’t mention how it makes her unable to breathe for real, how important every gasp of air is at the moment, how little oxygen her body is running with so she can’t spare a single molecule. “We have time. We’ll talk later.”

The door is clicked shut behind Sam and her eyes don’t even faze at the sound, they never leave Alex’s, a question burning in them that Alex has a hard time not answering.

But they don’t say anything, not until Sam leaves her handbag on top of the counter, takes two steps closer to Alex so that she doesn’t have another choice other than to look at her in the eye. She wishes she had another, because the little air on her lungs is knocked out, the roots taking its place the moment they’re gone.

“You know.” It’s a statement, not a question, so Sam doesn’t respond. “Lena told you?”

“She called me last night, in the middle of a breakdown and told me you were dying, and being stubborn and an idiot. I already knew two of the three things.”

“It’s”

“Hanahaki disease, I know.” Her voice is so low Alex has to force herself to listen as she keeps her feet grounded into place, not allowing herself to get any closer. She had so much willpower for so long, she doubts she would have any left at this point. “An infection because of unrequited love, where vines grow in your lungs until you suffocate if the love is not returned, or if you choose not to forget about that love.”

Alex lets out a small, forced laugh, runs her fingers through her hair in an attempt of getting her ground once more.

“You did your research.”

“And you should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t want to bother you.” Sam smiles, closes the little distance there was between them, a small huff coming from her parted lips.

“You, Alex Danvers, are the furthest thing from a burden to me.” Sam’s going to be the death of her. Figuratively, and quite literally. “You are my friend, and you are loved.”

Alex can’t keep her eyes on hers anymore, they are too open, too honest, and Alex has to find a way of stopping the hope building in her chest, to keep the vines growing instead of living in an illusion that Sam loved her back.

She stops looking at her in the eye, the alternative is not that better. She ends with her eyes fixed on Sam’s smile, her lips, the curve of her mouth ever so inviting. Please, let this be real.

“Look, Sam, you don’t have to-”

“Will you ever take your head out of your ass?” And Sam kisses her.

Sam kisses her and her lungs never felt so open. Sam kisses her and there’s enough space inside her body to fit all the air of the room, if it hadn’t been knocked out of her as soon as their lips touched. Sam kisses her, and there’s still a lingering taste of the coffee she had this morning to wash out the blood and then there’s only Sam.

She kisses with her whole body, even if it’s barely a press of lips, a hand resting against her hip to tug her closer. They burn, every place their bodies touch, it burns. Alex’s brain is still trying to catch up with just happened when Sam leans back, glazed eyes and an honest smile.

“I’m in love with you.” Alex cannot think of something else to say at the moment, and it pulls a relieved laugh from Sam.

“I kinda got that.”

“Can you-”

“Alex, you gave me a lollipop once and I fell in love with your smile.”

“Good, that’s good.”

“Oh, I almost forgot.” Sam raises the box still in her hand so that Alex’s attention is on it, smiles from ear to ear. “I brought you flowers, they are my favorite.”

Sam opens it, the tiny arrangement of purple flowers stares at her in pure disdain, the same flowers she’s been spiting out for almost three whole months. Alex groans, drops her head to Sam’s shoulder and hears the beautiful laugh that made her heart clench in her chest in the best ache possible.

“I don’t want to see a heliotrope for the rest of my life.”

“We can work on that later.” Their lips connect once more and Alex couldn’t agree more.

With all due respect, eternal love can go fuck itself.

#agentreign #agentreign fanfic #my work #supergirl #supergirl fanfic #danvarias #don't @me okay #i'm emotional #and i miss them

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holycalum · 6 years ago

Text

vice (c.h.) part 3!!

summary- (y/n) has another #breakdown but like ACTUALLY this time she goes home just read it

part 1 part 2 part 4

word count- 3.6k+

a/n- im terrible at summaries i figure if ur reading this far you don’t care you just wanna know what happens ya dig? also i appreciate all the love and support for this fic so much?? because i really thought this would flop but im so happy people are enjoying it. vice is literally my baby rn and i’ve put a lot of effort into it, and to see it pay off is grand ok goodbye. “fuck yeah,” i slurred, holding up my red cup in triumph. “midterms are hashtag over.” i slumped into britt, and she groaned, trying to push me off of her.

“you’re too drunk,” she yelled over the thumping music. “your flights early tomorrow.”

“don’t care,” i smiled, dancing again. but britt’s word cut through my drunk thoughts moments later, and traveled straight to the gut. i might as well have doubled over because of the sinking feeling in my stomach. i had to go home the next day, and i didn’t want to in the slightest. the remix playing was drowned out as i stopped dancing abruptly, and got stuck in my head. the dark cloud that was rarely over my head anymore came crashing back, and i didn’t have calum to distract me. i had pushed the idea of me leaving college a semester early to kick start my life the back of my head, letting myself get lost in my studies for once, and calum. the second one was really the kicker. i pushed my way through the crowd, suddenly feeling very queasy. i stumbled throughout the unfamiliar house. miraculously i found a bathroom, and practically threw myself into it. i locked the door behind me, and fell to the floor. the cool tile soothed my burning skin, and i felt like i was human again. i crawled over the the toilet, head spinning.

as i gripped the disgusting bowl and willed myself to throw up, i couldn’t help but let a few tears fall. but that was only the calm before the storm, because soon enough the dark cloud above my head stormed onto me. i cried so hard i gagged, and couldn’t catch my breath. my heart felt shriveled up and small and dead.

i had never been the drunk girl to have a complete meltdown, but i couldn’t stop the emotions from shooting out of every pore in my body. i felt like i was one big sad blob, and i physically couldn’t stop myself from getting drenched in the waters from my dark cloud.

my crisis was interrupted by a knock at the door, i prayed it was a nice drunk girl that would braid my hair and tell me i’m pretty so i’d stop crying. but when i unlocked the door, calum’s eyes met mine and i cried even harder. i leaned against the cabinets, face in my hands, not wanting calum to see me at all, i wanted to disappear.

it was funny, in the moments i wanted to be alone with my thoughts the most, calum always seemed to show up.

“no, no, no,” calum’s words came out frantic, as he kneeled down in front of me and pulled my hands away from my face. the look of panic on his face sent my head spinning.

“what’s wrong, pretty girl?” his nickname pulled at my heart strings and only made the knot in my stomach grown tighter.

i couldn’t catch my breath enough to get any words out, so i sat there blubbering like a toddler, looking down, only for calum to tilt my head back up.

“hey,” he cooed, shutting and locking the bathroom door once again, this time not leaving me alone. he sat against the door, and pulled me to his lap. “let’s just calm down and then we can talk, ok?” he said softly into my hair. i nodded against his leather jacket, trying to take deep breaths. even though i hated being so broken in front of calum, i couldn’t help but cling onto him like my life depended on it. the contact between us grounded me.

every once in a while a sob would break through my breathing, causing calum to tense up and hold me tighter for a second, before going back to rubbing slow circles on my back.

once i brought myself back down to earth, i pulled away from his chest, the world around me tilted in all directions. “i don’t wanna go home,” i cried, my words making tears well back up in my eyes. calum’s face was full of guilt as he stared into my bloodshot eyes.

“hey,” he shushed me, wiping under my eyes. he’d need a whole box of tissues to dry my cheeks, “it’s ok, just go slow.”

“i wanna fall in love, cal.” i admitted, not being able to control the thoughts involuntarily pouring out of my mouth. “i want it all-but i cant have it. they took it from me. i don’t wanna go back.” a lump in my throat sprouted from deep within me, threatening to send me into another crying fit.

i could see his eyes go glassy, “no,” i begged, “don’t cry.”

“m’ sorry,” he chuckled weakly, reaching up to wipe his own eyes. “going soft, sorry, continue.” another sob wracked through my chest at his state. i leaned my forehead against his chest, letting another cry out.

“i’m hurting everyone around me,” i said sadly, “i don’t wanna hurt you anymore.” it became crystal clear that everyone was only calum.

“but it’s so worth it, doll.” he whispered sweetly, smoothing the hairs around my ear. “you’re my sunshine, at the same time. what a contradiction you’ve proven to be.” it almost didn’t make sense.

i settled against his chest, finally feeling a bit calmer. “an’ i know you’re really drunk right now, so i doubt you’ll remember most of this,” he starts, breath ghosting over my neck. “but, i accidentally let you in and i can feel myself falling for you. and it sucks because you’ll never be mine, fully at least, and you’re one of the only people i’ve let in so close to my heart.”

“stop,” i pleaded, “i don’t wanna know,”

“it’s not a bad thing, pretty girl.” he reassured me, “teaching me that it might be worth it, to let someone in, to enjoy someone’s company beyond sex.”

“i wish it didn’t have to be like this.” i mumbled, feeling very tired.

“let’s get you home,”

i woke up the next day, to my blaring alarm clock. my head pounded as i flailed my hand around to turn off the terrible noise. it was the day of my flight and i couldn’t have felt any worse. eyes almost glued shut because of how puffy they were, traveled to see i was in the same clothes i was wearing the night prior. i felt like i’d been kicked in the face. clearly i had cried the night before. oh, the night before.

i remembered almost everything, the crying, calum, more crying. it only made my headache worse. i showered to try and make myself feel less gross, but it only washed away the physical layer of grime. the emotional dirtiness would stay forever.

i shrugged calum’s shirt over my head, it was dark blue, with maine written in bold white letters. it was probably my favorite shirt on him, so he insisted i have it. it was probably a bad idea to be reminded of calum while i went home, but it made me feel happy, and i could’ve used some light in my life. i pulled on a beanie and my long winter jacket, before grabbing my bags and heading towards the door. my roommates were still passed out from the night before, pillows over both of their heads.

“bye, guys.” i muttered, before swinging the door open. “jesus, calum.” i breathed, clutching my chest, my heart almost stopping at the sight of him.

“hey, sunshine.” he smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. the nickname launched me into the events of the night before and i willed myself not to break.

“hi,” i breathed, biting the inside of my lip. “thank you, for last night.”

“anytime,” he replied, “nice shirt.” this time his eyes sparkled a bit, before his face fell.

“what’s up?” i questioned, not understanding why he was standing outside my dorm at almost eight in the morning.

“i wanted to say bye to you before you left,” he rocked back and forth on his heels, hands shoved in his pockets. he looked small, and tucked into himself, “feels like i’m losing you.” he mumbled the last part, almost low enough for me to miss it completely.

“please don’t say that,” i shut my eyes, forcing the tears to stay inside of me. he shrugged weakly.

“i guess this is goodbye,” he smiled at me, brown eyes shining. my stomach sank and i reached towards him and engulfed him in the biggest hug i could muster. i wanted to keep him with me forever.

“promise me you’ll see me when i get back,” i begged him, clutching onto him for dear life. his tight grasp around my waist indicated he was doing the same.

“i promise,” his words were muffled by my shoulders, where his perfect face was squished. he pulled away, painfully, almost making me whine at the loss of contact. “goodbye, (y/n).”

“bye, calum.” i breathed, standing on my toes to press a gentle kiss to his cheek. “i’ll see you when i get back-when i get home.” it was honest, being with calum felt more like a home than my own childhood house did.

“i’ll see you then,” he gulped, and he watched me walk away. the entire trip back to my hometown, i spent on the verge of tears and a nervous breakdown.

[11:34 am] me: i can’t do this

[11:35 am] calum: cant do what sunshine?

[11:35 am] me: my plane just landed.

[11:36 am] calum: you can get thru this pretty girl

[11:36 am] me: you have way too much faith in me

[11:38 am] calum: (:

calum’s lightheartedness made me feel a bit better as i gathered my luggage painfully quick. near the baggage claim, my parents were waiting eagerly for me.

“(y/n)!” my mom exclaimed, in a much different tone than she’d had the last time we spoke. it almost made me throw up at how sweet she was acting when the last time she made an effort to talk to me was to try and get me to drop out of school.

“hey guys,” i plastered on a fake smile, bringing both of my parents in for a hug. “how are you?”

“wonderful, now that you’re back!” my dad said, rubbing my shoulder. “how about we head back to the house and have some lunch, i’m sure you’re starving.”

“i am!” i lied, i wasn’t. not in the slightest, my stomach was twisted and the idea of food made me want to yakk on the spot. my appetite had disappeared the second i turned around to see calum’s pained expression as i walked away. the drive home was tense, calling for awkward small talk and bad jokes.

when we walked in the front door, i was greeted by a very happy david. my mouth fell open as i was halfway through kicking off my shoes. i felt like my body had been frozen solid.

“i thought you didn’t get back for another day,” i deadpanned, not being able to hide my emotions. the whole trip was already emotionally heavy, and seeing david so soon only added another layer overbearing feelings.

“i wanted to surprise you!” david pulled me in for a lingering hug, he was too keen on surprises for my liking. i hugged him back, and our bodies didn’t mold together like calum and i’s did. i felt no fire, i felt no excitement, i felt nothing except for a heavy emptiness settling in my chest.

my little sister, maya, bounded down the entryway. “(y/n)!” she yelled, and i ripped myself away from david to embrace her.

“hey, lil’ one.” i said, smiling for real. i pulled away, looking at her. “not so little anymore,” she was taller than i was now, towering over me by a few inches.

“how’s junior year?”

“rough,” she rolled her eyes, “how’s college.”

“great.” i smiled widely, catching david’s eye, “i love it, you know that.” it was the in small victories.

“stressful, though!” david cut in,

“a good kind of stress,” i snapped back, turning my eyes back to maya slowly, boxing david out of the conversation. “i’ve met a lot of great people.”

“who’s shirt is that?” she asked suddenly, gripping the dark blue fabric. her eyebrows furrowed together at the sight of the unfamiliar shirt.

“just a friend’s,” i smiled, my mouth doing dry. maya wiggled her eyebrows at me, and i hit her arm. i wasn’t really lying, calum and i weren’t together, so that left us as friends, although friends weren’t necessarily supposed to act like we did.

the air that hung around us was dense and suffocating, so i saw myself to the kitchen, where an array of food was laid out in front of my parents, and david’s.

“hey honey,” david’s mom smiled at me, pulling me in for a hung. she kept an arm wound around my waist as david’s dad caught my attention.

“how ya’ feelin, kid?” he asked, grinning widely.

i gave him a gentle smile back, “i’m great,” i breathed, trying to grip onto the last of my sanity that would make my statement at least a little true. we spent the eve of christmas eve making small conversation, settling into the way things had always been, and will always be.

i ended up sprawled out on my little sisters bed, late that night, face down. everyone had left, and i could finally feel my shoulders relax.

“so...” maya sat next to me, causing me to roll onto my side. “you seeing anyone?” she mused, poking my shoulder.

i sighed, “you know i shouldn’t.” i put simply, trying the avoid the thought and conversation.

“when has that stopped you?” she challenged, “i know you don’t really love david,” she added quietly, looking at me with caring eyes.

“even if i was...” i started, “it can’t be a good idea, it’ll only hurt more people in the end.”

maya frowned, “you deserve to be happy, (y/n).”

“i know,” i pulled my lips into a straight line, “i can make it work, i still have you.”

“you won’t be fully happy,” she fretted, her tone more upset than it was before.

“maybe no ones ever fully happy,” i shrugged, “maybe i’ll just be a little less happy, i’ll survive.”

maya chewed on the inside of her cheek for a moment, “do you think they’ll make me marry someone i don’t like too?” i sat up, and tucked a piece of her hair behind her hair. she seemed like a little girl again, and it broke my heart.

“you were always more stubborn than i was,” i whispered, smoothing her hair down, “they can’t hold you down, lil’ one.” she smiled, “goodnight, maya.” the topic became too much to stomach.

“night, (y/n).” i made my way out of maya’s room, padding down to my old bedroom. it was almost exactly the same, just a bit staler, from the lack of movement. the bed was freshly made, and i climbed into it, feeling drained from the day.

i woke up christmas eve morning, and fell into the bustling nature of the day ahead. i was helping cook and clean and prepare for everyone to come over. that night we’d have cousins and david’s family and david’s cousins over, and we’d all have one big painful night.

when i was younger, christmas eve couldn’t come quick enough, and maya and i would spend the whole day waiting for the evening. but, as an adult, the festivities proved to be more annoying than joyful and the night rolled around too quick. my late afternoon nap was interrupted by my mother shaking me awake, informing me of the arrival of our relatives.

i sleepily greeted everyone as they got to the house, stopping for a long conversation with my grandfather. i had never been more grateful for his ability to digress into the longest conversations ever, when i saw david and his family walk through the door. i focused on my grandfather, listening to whatever he was speaking about.

“that’s really interesting,” i said, “tell me more.” i practically begged, and my grandpa almost passed out at the excitement of someone wanting to listen to him.

“hey, (y/n).” david piped up, his blonde hair was littered with snow flakes from being outside.

“one second, david. my grandpas just telling me a story-“ i was cut off,

“that’s fine, sweetheart.” my grandpa said, his smile fading a bit. “go on.” i gave him a sad grin, and hugged him briefly before david pulled me towards the living room.

“i was having a conversation,” i crossed my arms in front of david, pushing him out.

he rolled his eyes, “i know you hate those conversations,”

“that one was really immersing me!” i shot back, stomping my foot. he gripped my forearm, pulling me closer, “don’t throw a fit,” he grumbled, running a hand through his hair.

“whatever,” i brushed it off, knowing i wouldn’t get my way. “what’s up?” “i just wanted to talk to you,” he answered, “i hadn’t seen you since i visited you and we hardly spoke yesterday.”

“m’ just tired,” i rubbed my eyes for effect,

“we’ve barely spoken on the phone either,” he sneered, his face almost as flushed as his pink shirt.

“two way street, david.” i said, my face straight and unmoving.

“you know i love you, (y/n).” david sighed, reaching out for my hand. it was cold and uninviting, unlike calum’s warm embrace. “i just get busy, and distracted. i could use something to pull me out of it.”

“i get busy too,” i stated, my hand stiff in his, and i wondered if this was his idea of love.

“with that major...” he muttered under his breath, and i almost didn’t hear him. “i just want us to be on good terms.”

“we are.” as good as we could get, it wasn’t saying much, but it was something. he smiled.

“good.” and then i walked away, excusing myself to the restroom. i stood in front of the mirror, hands gripping the sink so hard my knuckles went white. i let myself breath for a second, feeling i’d lose control if i didn’t. i pulled my phone out quickly, typing a text to calum.

[7:27 pm] me: merry christmas eve

[7:30 pm] calum: merry christmas to you, pretty girl

[7:30 pm] calum: how are you?

[7:31 pm] me: surviving

“(y/n)?” a knock cut through my trance and i jumped, going to open the door.

“hi,” i caught my breath, looking at my mom.

“dinners ready,” she stated, “you alright?”

“yes.” i nodded, following her to the dining room. david took a seat next to me, uncomfortably gripping my thigh throughout the night. his touch wasn’t reassuring or nice, it was repulsive and empty.

after dinner, we all sat in the living room, gathered around the tree, giving our cousins gifts and opening them early. it was a family tradition to open gifts from extended family christmas eve, and david’s family had intertwined with ours, making it like a huge pre-christmas. once all the little cousins finished opening toys and sharing with one another we all started to fall into our own conversations.

“i actually have one more gift,” david’s voice bellowed, it was loud and dripping with confidence.

oh no.

“it’s for (y/n),” he said, shifting his weight to one of his knees.

oh no.

“(y/n),” he started, grabbing both of my hands and the attention of everyone around us. i felt maya’s eyes shoot to mine, wide and worried. i felt sick to my stomach, “i love you, you know that.” my whole body was lit aflame and not in any desirable way, i felt too hot and crowded and my tongue felt like heavy sandpaper in my mouth.

i couldn’t do anything but sit there, mouth hung open, heart pumping wildly. i watched his mouth move but i didn’t hear any noise come out, my ears rung loudly.

“will you marry me?” i didn’t answer, i couldn’t answer.

“of course she will!” my mother shrilled loudly, clutching her chest.

my eyes were dull with loss, the sharp edges of my memories with calum slicing at my heart as he slid the ring on my finger. i felt like i didn’t have myself anymore, or even know who i was. i didn’t know. i didn’t care.

david pulled me in for a hug, as our family clapped loudly around us. it was all real and i couldn’t stop it.

i looked calm, up until i finally shut my bedroom door behind me. all at once my tears flowed out, the dark cloud above my head had once again stormed on me, leaving me soaked to the core. i dragged myself to my bed, not bothering to change out of the clothes i’d wore that night. i felt hopeless as sobs ran through my body, shaking every part of me. my room was miserable and cold, and the only sound piercing the silence was my occasional cries i couldn’t keep quiet.

i cried for me, i cried for my future kids, i cried for calum.

calum

. i wanted to tell him, i wanted to hear his voice and i wanted him to tell me it was going to be ok, but it wasn’t and not even he could change that. but i longed to feel him, and the brightness he elicited by only giving me a look. my heart ached as i fell asleep, my future dragging me closer and closer.

a/n: ok drama lmk what ya think even if its me being stupid and spelling something wrong but feedback is appreciated! thank u for reading!! part 4 should be up tomorrow or in the next couple of days. ALSO im gonna fosho gonna write more after this is done so if you have an requests pls message me i would love 2 write what yall want ok goodbye love u

tags: (lmk if u wanna be added for part 4/any other shit i write) @rexorangecouny

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