#cluster manager

[entity56]

Tips for Cluster B Anger

~ coming from someone who has BPD and a psychology special interest Have you been feeling like your anger is completely uncontrollable and all encompassing? Do you feel like your anger controls you more than you control it? Me too! But here are some things I've found to be helpful: - Taking notes. Write down triggers for what causes your anger episodes (as well as other episodes e.g sadness or paranoia) once you come down from it and start looking for a pattern. Not only will this help you to slow down and self reflect, you can begin to either avoid those triggers or find ways to regulate the effects. - SLOW DOWN. If something is making you want to hurt someone else or yourself, slow the FUCK down. Push against the grain, step back and let yourself have a good cry or scream into a pillow. Do whatever you can to (healthily) process the emotions, no matter how long it takes, before making major decisions. - Avoid self harm, substances or unhealthy habits like disordered eating or emotional self harm. It's so tempting, believe me, but it will only serve to make things worse. You might feel like you want it to get worse now, but in the future, you WILL regret it. If you start feeling these urges, refer to the urge surfing diagram below this. - Get outside advice. Think you're splitting but you can't tell? Run the situation by a close friend or loved one and see how they feel about it. Try to relay it with as little bias as possible and see if they agree with the decision you're about to make or if you perhaps need to reevaluate some things. - Take care of your heart. I know this is cliche, but a good sleep schedule, hearty food consumption habits, hydration, exercise routine and mental health care go a long way in helping you succeed in the above tips. You are struggling with an illness, and ill people need as much care as possible. Become your own parent. This works for anger in all Cluster B personality disorders, as well as with autism spectrum disorders! Urge surfing:

[titan-god-helios]

my positivity posts are oftentimes for others, yes. of course they are. but they are also for me.

today i was really struggling with my symptoms - npd, autism, adhd - you name a symptom from them, i was probably struggling with it. it was Not fun to say the least.

i love my point of view on the world. i really do. i wouldn't change anything about my brain in terms of my neurodivergencies even if i could because it makes me who i am in part. but i do have rough days just like any other person with disabilities or even without. please don't feel alone if you have a bad day. shit hits the fan sometimes and that's okay. i'm with you, as are many others <3

[narcissisticpdcultureis]

npd culture is "wow the admin of narccisisticpdcultureis must get so much supply from the attention their blog gets i wish i had that"

.

[reksink]

In Celebration of This Year's Uncoming Battle

[happyk44]

There is so little info around HPD, it's frustrating, I just wanna see how an atypical or covert presentation would come across and then write a bunch of stupid HPD!Piper posts about it 😩

[stellewriites]

Hello Stelle! Hope your day is going well.

Wandered into your inbox to ask (yet another) question about our girl, butch!Simon. I just wanted to know your thoughts as to whether or not you envision him with tattoos? I remember you writing about your tattoo headcanons a while back, and wondered if butch!Si would have the same?

my day is always brighter when i’ve got birdy in my inbox 🥹

honestly i didn’t think further than the usually sleeve tat until now but i think my prev headcanons still fit - id just swap out the scottish thistles out for lavender and violets on her hips instead!

maybe i should give a bit of love and attention to his tats in the next instalment of butch si,, maybe he can get a knew one added with reader in mind <33

[xbl00dturns2dustx]

I want to be with him but I know mentally I can’t atm and I hate it:(

[afkintheark]

Been tinkering on SP Extinction, my guy has finally rounded up all his gatherers and now can finally start building his base.

I really like this spot. \o/

Found two really nice doedics, a male and female, so I tamed them both and bred them and the grown-up baby is amazing.

Tonight was just a quick trip to the snow to find a baby mammoth I could steal adopt. Next trip I make will be for snow owls. \o/

On Aras we made progress with the fires and lightnings, just need to raise the babies and get them going with our last stat-carriers. The poisons are still going, we've gotten some nice babies but nothing perfect yet. I might bonk them soon. >.>

[violentviolette]

how do you tell apart violent impulses from violent intrusive thoughts when you get both? I know I have violent impulses because I acted on them before I had a better system for dealing with them and I know I have intrusive thoughts because I get sexual intrusive thoughts about things I never get impulses over. I know it doesn't make sense because I can tell sexual intrusive thoughts have no impulses behind them but the line is just completely blurred for me with violent thoughts. I always deal with them like they're impulses and get myself as quickly away from the victim and weapon as possible just in case but it always weighs on me not knowing if I really would have acted on that were my reins looser. When I acted on my violent impulses in the past I never felt guilt over actually doing it even if I wouldn't choose to repeat it but stopping myself from potentially acting on violent thoughts makes me feel like garbage

personally, and this is highly subjective and not like a universal Fact, but i generally seperate them by "impulse = rooted in feelings relevent to both the situation and my wants" and "intrusive thought = not triggered by or relevent to actual feelings i have outside the thought" so like, an intrusive thought *to me* is something like "pick up that knife and stab it thru their hand to pin it to the table" when nothing is wrong and im just generally chilling, this is not something i would actually enjoy nor get any real pleasure or satisfaction from doing

whereas an impulsive thought would be "punch that person whose irritating u in the face cause it'll make them stop speaking" cause that is actually rooted in something that would bring me pleasure or satisfaction to do, but i know is socially innopropriate and not a healthy way to handle the situation

but honestly, i think the difference isnt always important, especially when talking about how just having either of those thoughts makes us feel about ourselves. there is no inherent morality to thoughts. our thoughts simply exist, and they have no bearing on whether or not we are good or moral people.

i've had the urge/thought/impulse to hit my wife before. dozens and dozens of times actually. i never have and i never will, but the urge to solve all my problems by simply punching them is a strong urge that i dont think will ever go away for me. i get angry or upset and my instinct is to become violent over it. but simply having the thought to do so doesnt make me a domestic abuser or a bad partner. the fact that i have never once given in to that urge and continue to control my behavior is what makes me a good and healthy partner.

it doesnt matter what u would have done if u werent controlling ur behavior, what matters is that *u are controling that behavior.* u are doing the right and healthy thing by choosing not to act on an impulse or intrusive thought and taking measures to ensure u dont. that shouldnt make u feel bad, it should fill u with pride for urself. the thought is not the important part, it's what u DO with that thought that matters. people think all kinds of insane things all the time, triply so when u have mental illnesses. brains are weird and freaky and they think wild shit. none of that matters, what matters is ur actions and ur behavior and the fact that u can and do control urself to behave in healthy and appropriate ways is the sign of u being a well adjusted and mature adult and healthy member of ur social group.

dont beat urself up over ur thoughts, they are not what make u who u are. ur actions make up the person u are and its ur actions that matter. and the fact that u take action to ensure the safety and well being of the people around u is what determines that u are a good and healthy person making the right decisions, and thats something u should feel very very proud of urself over

[tsubasaclones]

(the tempo is at 50 in case you were wondering)

so i was like lol lemme transcribe this im sure it will sound very interesting... then since it looks like the lines are wrapping around i was trying to figure out which goes in what order... and some of them i had to kind of read backwards... anyways this is definitely wrong (considering it wasn't meant to be played in the first place) but i spent time on it so you have to hear it. had to take a couple liberties.

[daz4i]

dude imagine if we could apply filters to our ao3 history and marked for later lists..

[morbidjackal]

Anyone else do this weird thing where I hit my head on something so I get angry about it and then start attacking it or if I’m more stable I just stand there seething because an inanimate object can’t feel pain or understand how it’s wronged me? Just me?

[thefundisorderdiary]

Cluster headache contorting so hard I might as well just go the full way and snap my neck.

[ouroboobos]

my coworker died really suddenly of pnemonia today :( he was a really great guy, only 34. and and his dad works with us too, i dont know how hes going to come back to work without his kid but hes old and hes worked here for 18 years so i dont know if he'll want to find another job

[yuhenglesbian]

about me:

hi! im fari/hina (either works; most nicknames work too).

im 24.

my preferred pronouns are he/they. she/her works as well but not too liberally.

im a lesbian

this used to be an idol producer/nine percent blog back in 2018-19 — you might've known me as zhengtongue, i think.

at present, i intend to turn this into largely a danmei/baihe and animanga blog. this will continue to be a writing blog – i will be uploading my fics and poems here (there might be some cross-posting from my other socials).

expected content:

danmei/baihe: mo dao zu shi || scum villain's self saving system || mo du || jwqs (clear and muddy loss of love) || erha (i'll edit to add more as i read)

animanga: oshi no ko || watakekkon || naruto || banana fish || akayona || cardcaptor sakura || revolutionary girl utena || saezurutori wa habatakanai || other shojosei works

others: honkai star rail || path to nowhere || ensemble stars || genshin impact || honkai impact

i think that is mostly all from me. im not really into the kpop/cpop scene anymore. my asks are always open and im open to fic reqs for any of the listed content. my old masterlist for 9% can be found in my bio.

[violentviolette]

How did you learn to cope with your violent impulses and more hot anger? How did you learn to control your anger instead of letting it control you?

tldr anger management therapy, dbt and weed

but like, genuinely. a big part of the beginning of the process for me was my trauma therapy. I had so much pent up anger from years and years of abuse and unfair mistreatment that I wasn't addressing and was just shoving down and never looking in the eye and u Gotta start with that big ball of fire because otherwise ur gonna be fighting an uphill battle against it

the anger management is great because in the beginning its important to learn how to release anger in healthy ways, because its still going to come and u still have to learn how to cope with it. this gives u good strategies to do that and then eventually u get better at learning how to not get angry in the first place and u end up needing those beginning tools less and less

for that I did a dbt based program and I found that to be really helpful in learning how to stop and ask myself if this was even something I was actually angry about, or if I was using anger to mask a different more difficult or upsetting emotion like insecurity or fear. or if i was defensively reacting to things that weren't actually there, projecting my own emotions because my lack of empathy meant i wasnt understanding theirs or using disordered logic to find a way to justify taking my emotions out on them.

unlearning those abusive thought processes helped me to be able to better read ppl and understand their motives more clearly, which helped me stop reading negative motives in everything and constantly being on the defensive and using anger to protect myself. I was able to ask myself "what are my priorities in this situation? what is the best path forward to achieve my goals? is anger going to be productive or harmful to that? will getting angry actually be useful or needed in this situation?"

then I could use all that to address the real underlying emotion or problem and make it actually stop instead of just ignoring it and only focusing on the anger. because anger is almost always a secondary emotion. it is our response to something, but that other emotion must come first to trigger it and its that underlying emotion that needs addressed because once it is, the anger is irrelevant

the more and more u do stuff like that the more ur brain retrains itself to respond differently. but that isn't always enough, and both in the beginning and now I find the entire process muchmuch easier when I am properly medicated

its hard for me to step back from my emotions and engage thoughtfully sometimes so it does make it so much easier to have a chemical way to force my body to take a deep breath. I will often pause in an argument so I can take a second to go smoke when I feel myself hitting a wall and not able to calm down enough on my own, and every single time im able to come back calmer and clearer and engage with whatever is happening in a productive way instead of letting my emotions escalate the situation

weed doesn't work for everyone tho and everyone's body responds differently to things so its useful to figure out what it is that works for u that serves that same purpose of slowing or stopping the physical reactions and giving u enough space and breathing room from ur emotions that u can think clearly and control them instead of only being able to react to them and letting them control u