#clove has feelings
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So an indeterminate amount of time ago I waded through the depths of writing Tumblr and ended up adopting a queer youth living in a sort of rough situation. Like not "parasocial, for the bit" kind of adoption, but also not "let's sign actual paperwork" adoption. I just kind of brought them into my family in my head because that's how my brain works.
We met here so they might see this but I'm not going to tag them just in case they're embarrassed by this. But if you see this - hi Auggie! Hope this doesn't embarrass you too much.
I took up the role of mentor/parental figure once I realized this person didnt really have an older queer adult in their life, but I was surprised by how much deeper it's gone since that. I don't ever want actual human children, but this odd long distance communication has given me some sort of psychological rough equivalent that's been truly surreal.
Like, I did not raise this person, but I see myself in them. They sometimes act exactly as I did when I was their age. Their pain and confusion are an echo to something that I put to sleep a long, long time ago. And in that contemplation there's this hunger to reverse time and change the story, to give this person what I wanted so desperately when I was that age.
I was such a lonely youth. Just confused and afraid. I used to lament for hours, wishing I could build parking structures instead of being a writer - because then I could look at the cars parked and know my creation was serving its purpose. The few friends I had then tried, but ultimately had no clue how to comfort me.
I can't be that person that says life gets easier as you get older, because that's only like an eighth of a truth I truly think is impossible to explain. So when they fall into despair I find myself almost begging little else but please wait. I know it hurts sometimes, but please wait. Just a little longer. You're going to start to find out what this is all about very, very soon
I hope they believe me. But either way I want to be there to whatever extent they find comfortable. This is a truly incredible person and I believe the world would grieve the loss of their growth.
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the thing that gets me about the "must read 100 books a year Or Else" thing is that you just.... don't see it with any other hobby?
no one (as far as I know) is telling knitters "you have to knit 100 projects in a year, it doesn't matter if they turn out holey or misshapen or ugly, it matters that you made so many of them!" pretty sure no one is telling gamers "you have to play 100 games a year, doesn't matter if you really enjoy them or explore the worlds, what's important is that you finish them!"
So...why, and I say this as someone who's a fairly fast reader and has read a lot this year, are (terminally online) readers so obsessed with numbers? Is it because more books = more intelligent? Is it just Number Go Up mentality? I understand the thrill of wanting to beat your past self and read more books than the year before or whatever, but why do you expect to hold others to your standards??
#thinking about reading#just a little rant#while i wait for the garlic cloves for my garlic bread to bake lmao#i often feel in competition with my past self or wanting to read certain genres etc. i didn't really get to the year before#but ive never looked at another blogger and went 'HA! you only read 10 books this year!'#don't get me started on the whole buying boatloads of books Just To Have A Big Library#i used to post about getting rid of books and people would reply like 'even if you didn't like them why not keep them just because??'#i don't live in a mansion lmao. also if i don't like a book i don't want to see it on my shelf every day#ANYWAY. back to listening to Canterbury Tales and baking
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okay this is my valorant oc her name is accord and she is a menace to society :3
i tried something new with the shading here so i hope it looks good
#my art#valorant#okay here is an explanation of her abilities#COINFLIP - EQUIP a coin. FIRE to send it forward causing accord to appear at the location it lands. HOLD FIRE to extend the range of the co#n#SHINY - EQUIP a coin. FIRE to toss the coin a short distance forward. The coin will nearsight all enemies who look at it#FIND A PENNY - EQUIP a coin. FIRE to place on the ground. when an enemy steps on the coin it will reveal their location until removed. the#coin can be picked up and redeployed#LIFETIME DEAL - EQUIP a coin. when in range of an enemy fire to toss them the coin and convince them to join your side (only for that round#the enemy can harm their teammates but no longer harm your team and their teammates can harm them. your team cannot harm the affected enem#and that would cost 8 points but honestly 9 would work better#but i mean since clove's ult is only like 7 i dont think 8 is so bad#she'd pull the cartridges out of her pockets i guess i didnt really think about that#her backstory is basically she found a pouch of magic coins (an artifact like harbor's bracelet) and people who see them are obsessed#since she has the pouch she is immune but that's why shiny and lifetime deal work#since people love the coins so much they'd do anything to have them#OH also uh i think she's an initiator? maybe a sentinel i don't know#this feels more initiator-y to me but like idk#i just made her because i thought it was cool#valorant oc#accord valorant
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i made a fake character sheet for hermie the unworthy as a lvl 12 rogue !
so this is only the second character sheet i've ever made, so please forgive me if i'm missing stuff or if i did something wrong !
i debated with dual classing him as a spell caster but opted to just homebrew it a bit instead by completely messing around with preexisting cantrips and spells and changing how hermie would use them based on how easy that action would be for him as a goof person. so for example, disguise self is a cantrip (instead of a lvl 1 spell) because that's super easy for him and he can inherently do it as much as he likes. i hope it all makes sense !
and also the "R+" on the modifiers is the ability score improvement that rogues and such get, i call it rogue+ haha)
anyways just wanted to share it for anyone else who could be interested in seeing a hypothetical character sheet for him :)
#also since he's part demon he should have hellish resistance against fire damage !!#i'm sure he still has the scars and shit like it's just resistance but i feel like it explains how he could walk after --#getting the entire bottom half of his legs submerged in molton cheese#idk just wanted to throw that out there since they keep trying to set him on fire#anyways if i did a shoddy job oopsies - i just really really wanted to do this and it was super fun so#n when they mentioned hermie not having a real character sheet in the finale i was like “oh!!oh! i have one !!!” lmao#dungeons and daddies#dndads#dndads s2#dndads quest#hermie the unworthy#hermie unworthy#clove's stuff
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I wish my birthday was 7 months earlier
#This is about the US election#I have had multiple anxiety attacks over this. Every time something about the election or project 2025 pops up and I read it I get stressed#Everything feels so out of control. What can I do? I’m not old enough to vote. I don’t trust the country to make the right choice.#I’m terrified. I’m scared. Please vote. I’d you read this and you’re from the US and you’re old enough to vote just please do it.#I don’t care if you hate Biden.#Not voting when you have the ability to hurts those of us who can’t yet.#I thought I felt scared during the pandemic#this is scarier#I have genuinely thought about how I would go about getting out of this country if it ends up going that bad#but this will effect the whole world won’t it?#I don’t know what to do#I don’t usually vent but this has been stressing me out so bad and I need to throw words out even if no one actually reads them#might delete this later idk#mental stability is not happening right now#clove thoughts
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started bed time with jasmine bc shes been getting very depressed and is just kinda giving up on moving around. i want her back legs to build up some muscle again and the only way to do that is to put her on a blanket and let her have to explore.
#i cant put a wheel or saucer in her cage bc she doesnt use it at all#i had a saucer in there for a while and she just burried it#and when your lungs are all irritated you dont want to move around and exercise a lot in general#im also going to mix up a bottle of doxy for her so she has both baytril and that#i really want her to beat this uri yall#shes had it for 10 months#for ten months ive been giving a mouse antibiotics#a mouse who HATES getting meds and bites me really hard#she only recently started somewhat cooperating with meds and it's bc shes just given up#in general#and i feel so bad#bc shes all alonee in a hospital cage for a year.#her last experiences with other mice were seeing her sister die and being bullied by the others when she got sick#and shes literally not getting better#i dont know what to do#vets only prescribe baytril and doxy so idk what to do.#i might try steam therapy and put chocolate in with her scatter feed#but like#it isnt going away#and i cant expose her to the other girls bc i dont want them to get whatever she has#oh also sushi and mochi are still biting clove.#like bad at this point.#so theyre going back in timeout next time i catch them.#i will fight them actually#clove is my baby girl#and even tho i love sushi and mochi#i dont tolerate this shit#it's gross behavior and it needs to stop.#they just pick one mouse to attack ruthlessly every week.#first it was ginger. then it was peaches. now it's clove.
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I sure do love being so incredibly anxious at 1:30 in the afternoon.
complaining in the tags idk
#Clove Posts#complaining#lots of tags#it's because I have to drive that car in like 4.5 hours#it's an awful car it has so many problems#I have to use the tow release to get it into drive because it gets stuck in park#and because of the oil leak it always smells like burning rubber#cause of the oil burning off the engine#it also has a coolant leak that we can't find#and also the seal for the sunroof broke and so whenever it rains the seats get wet#the passenger seat especially#and it's growing mold#and it also has a wheel bearing that I think is going out#and the steering wheel sheds so I have to wear gloves when I drive or else my hands are covered in whatever it's losing#and I'm just so.. I hate driving it so much.....#and my parents refuse to do anything about it and I make literally 0 money#So I'm forced to drive this awful vehicle that makes me feel ill every time I get in it
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There’s something sooooo mmhmhmhhm about Jason looking after his younger self. Oh shit is going down in this universe? Yoink. Haven’t stopped thinkinh about him milking for the little alpha. He’s gonna take such good care of him
yessss i'm so glad you think so to <33
like... i really didn't think i would get as attached to that fic as i did, but, like?? i dunno, something about jason taking care of his younger self, during such a turbulent, terrible time in his life--- i dunno, it got to me? and even though the sequel is going to be my main focus, just. while thinking about what i want to add into it, i think i'm. going to end up writing more just... both about jason's original visit and that in-between time. (current plan is it'll be a 2yr jump?)
but yeAH. as for the second fic. he IS going to take such good care of him. one of the first scenes, i think, is going to be jay getting yoinked and freaking out until he catches jason's scent uwu and then some explanations before jason gets to do what he wanted to do so badly in clove, smoke, and honey: bundle jay into his nest xD
jay is going to be very well cared for. coddled, even. perhaps i might even go so far as to say spoiled 💅🏼
there's probably not going to be much plot, tbh. just lots of comfort and smut xD
ah, speaking of, did share some stuff from my new planning note here and here~
#also like jay def has people in his universe who care for him and would probs be trying to get him back#but uh#i will PROBABLY ignore that unless something abt it ends up compelling me#oh and!! pls feel free to let me know if there's anything that you want to see#i can't promise to work it in but~#also. ty for sending this <3#kind of expected cs&h not to get any attention at all <3#that there are other ppl who enjoyed it is!! <3 lovely#nsft#like mildly#but anyway#lovely anons#sweet comments#asks and answers#clove smoke and honey#cloves cardamom and coffee
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Trial and Error
Pairing: Azriel x Reader
Summary: Based on the request: "Azriel with single mom reader? I feel like being a single mom in ACOTAR would be tricky as hell… reader comes from autumn court and flees to night court because she got pregnant out of marriage? 😯 the shame"
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: A little angst
a/n: Okay this has taken over my brain. I hope you enjoy it!! You can read the previous little part here and part three here
Main Masterlist ♡
~~
“And what would happen then?”
“I suppose then we would have to turn into giants, wouldn’t we?”
“Giants. Really?” Melanie deadpanned as if she hadn’t just unraveled the most incoherent line of questioning you’d ever heard. Her new favorite game was “what if,” and you were apparently awful at it.
“Well—” you began, pretending to think as you leaned against the counter and tapped your chin. “I guess we could just learn how to fly instead. That way we could go collect the, um… bunnies from the tops of the clouds.”
“It’s cats, mommy, not bunnies. Why would a bunny be on a cloud?”
“You are so right.”
You pushed off the counter and continued restocking the shelves of the small apothecary that had employed you for the past few years. You had started out in Velaris working at a few small bars, but that hadn’t lasted long when they discovered you were pregnant. You had earned enough money to get a small apartment at that point, and you just so happened to find one above an apothecary owned by a rather wicked old woman.
Lucky for you, she was a wicked old woman who no longer wanted to run her apothecary or deal with the space above it. So, you got a job and a place to live without many questions asked—a two-for-one miracle.
“Maybe we could ask Nyx to take us up to the clouds,” Melanie pondered as she fiddled with a bundle of cloves by the register.
“Who’s Nyx, sweetie?” you mindlessly asked.
“A boy in my class. He has wings. He told me he can’t fly very high yet, but soon he’ll be able to.”
You inhaled sharply through your nose.
There were probably several boys in her class who had wings and were unrelated to the Illyrian man occupying your thoughts, right?
You hummed in contemplation. “I don’t know, Melanie. Maybe Nyx could take you, but I might be too big for him to bring me up to the clouds.”
“Oh, good idea, mommy! Nyx’s daddy can fly too and he can bring you. Or he has two uncles that could.” Your daughter stuck two fingers in the air with pride. “I wish I had wings. Mommy, did my daddy have wings?”
You shook your head and abandoned the box at your feet to brush your daughter’s hair back instead. Going to school had opened doors to many questions you had been dreading, and Melanie’s questions about her dad had been coming in waves.
“Your daddy didn’t have wings,” you began, looping a finger around her red curls. “But he did have hair just like yours.”
Melanie tilted her head to the side. “Did you love my daddy? Nyx drew a picture at school of his mommy and daddy and said they love each other very much. Like as much as you love me.”
You fought back a sigh. Nyx was causing you a plethora of issues and you hadn’t even met the kid. “Sometimes families look different,” you explained, running your hands down to brush off the dust on Melanie’s clothes that she’d surely obtained from playing in the apothecary. “I didn’t love your daddy, but that’s just because I had so much love saved up for you.”
“Hmm…I hope you can have someone to love like how Nyx’s mommy has his daddy,” Melanie said after a small pause. And then she swung off the counter and started trekking up the stairs to the apartment as if she hadn’t just aged ten years with her statement.
You blinked at the space she left, baffled by your five-year-old’s abruptness. She had only been at school for a week and was making revelations about your life that even you struggled to come to terms with. You let out a small sound of disbelief and made to follow your daughter up the stairs when the bell above the front door chimed.
“Sorry, we’re closed for the—”
A boot heel clicking silenced your call.
His shadows came in before him, dark swirls instantly sweeping along the walls and wrapping up around the front counter. They didn’t touch you, but there was a hesitance about them that suggested they wanted to. You tore your gaze from their behavior to meet the eyes of the Illyrian from the school—the one you hadn’t seen since and definitely not because you were avoiding all situations where he could spot you.
“Hello,” Azriel greeted with a calmness that was not reciprocated. “Are you closed? I can come back another time.”
Every thought tumbled out of your brain. You had forgotten—almost—how intimidating he was. Not just in sheer size, but in the way he held himself, in the sharp planes of his face that smoothed into softness in the exact places they should.
His wings pressed in towards his back as he took another step forward. The floor groaned beneath his weight.
“Oh, um—” you uttered along with the straining floor. “We are—technically. But I can help you find something. Or place an order for you. No big deal.”
“I wouldn’t want to keep you if you’re closed,” Azriel stressed.
“No, no, it’s okay,” you nervously laughed. Act more normal. Act like there’s nothing… abnormal about you. “Anything for someone from Melanie’s school. What are you looking for?”
Azriel hummed, his eyes lightning. “Ah, so you do remember me. I was wondering.”
Was he looking at you strangely? Azriel kept trailing his gaze around the room and letting it land on your face, evaluating you… profiling you?
You were being ridiculous.
“Of course I do. You gave me great intel on the teacher. I don’t come until the bell rings now.” You rocked back on your heels and shifted your fidgeting hands behind your back. “Was there something specific I could help you with?”
Azriel ignored your question for the second time. “Is that why I haven’t seen you? You come later?”
Was he looking for you?
A strange combination of excitement and trepidation made your stomach drop.
Another nervous laugh. Your palms were sweating. “I guess so. There’s a lot to be done here so I usually wait until the last minute to close up shop and pick her up. That’s why your tip was so helpful.”
Azriel narrowed his eyes in a way that echoed concern, but you refused to read into it. You balanced up onto your toes and fell back onto the soles of your feet.
You could tell he wanted to say more about something—to ask more questions unrelated to the apothecary. But he stopped himself and the restraint was clear in the tenseness of his shoulders.
“I get headaches,” Azriel shared. “Awful ones. I’ve tried healing magic and a few medicinal remedies, but I was hoping to find something herbal. Could you help me with that?”
You breathed a sigh of relief and began rifling through a cabinet to your left. “I may have just the thing. I had terrible migraines when I was pregnant and it took me six tries to get this recipe perfect, but I think it would do the trick for you. I almost hate to share it because I was the one that had to suffer through all the bad batches, but I guess that’s kind of my job.”
You pulled back from the cabinet with a small bottle in hand, a tiny rendition of your handwriting scrawled along the side. You rolled it in your hands for a moment until you saw the shimmering nature of the liquid inside, and then you held it out over the counter and offered Azriel a smile. He replicated it, but it was smaller and looked forced.
“You didn’t have anyone else to try it out on?” he asked.
The question twisted something deep within your chest, but you only grinned and ignored the tightness of your jaw. “Who better than the one with the migraines herself?”
Azriel breathed a laugh through his nose, his eyes not leaving yours. “I suppose that’s true.”
The flecks in his eyes had you paralyzed, unable to move as his gaze held yours. You were breathless, fist tightening around the small tonic still held out in front of you as Azriel reached forward and grabbed it. His skin brushed yours. You shivered.
Azriel’s lips parted to speak. “Where are you—”
A loud thump from upstairs cut him off.
Azriel started, his chin clipping up and his body tensing. He quickly looked back down to you with a panicked question in his eyes.
You fought for the words to say. If you revealed it was only Melanie, he would know where you lived—another piece of information you liked to keep close. But if you didn’t tell him, that could lead to something worse. He looked about ready to bolt up the stairs and battle your five-year-old.
The decision was made for you when Melanie came bounding down the steps with a bowl in one hand and a large wooden spoon in the other.
“Mommy,” she began with a lax posture that did not match the room. “Can I—Oh, hi, Mr. Azriel. What’re you doing at my house?”
Melanie’s interpretation of his name included an extra syllable, and she was still working on pronouncing Zs, but the Illyrian ignored that. “Your house?” he asked. His attention was fully on Melanie, but he sent you a raised brow.
“Um, yes. We live above the apothecary. Melanie sometimes forgets that it’s a business downstairs and not just a private playground,” you explained, rubbing your forearm in discomfort. Azriel tracked the movement.
“Ah, well, it does seem rather fun down here. I can see the confusion.”
Melanie perked up, waving the spoon in front of your face. “See, mommy? There’s lots to play with.”
One of the tightly bound coils in your chest loosened as you shot Azriel a look. “Great. You’re encouraging her.”
“I’ve been an uncle for a few years,” Azriel smiled, rolling the headache tonic between his hands. “I’ve gotten quite good at encouraging terrible things.”
You laughed with a huff and placed a hand on Melanie’s head, bending down to meet her gaze. “Were you going to ask me for dinner? I’ll be up in just a few minutes. I was just putting a few things away.”
“I know, mommy,” she nodded. Then, after a quick look at Azriel from the corner of her eye, she whispered, “Is Mr. Azriel having dinner with us? Nyx has been asking about when we have dinner and said to keep the question a secret, but maybe that’s why he’s here.”
A few feelings barraged you at once. Confusion over your daughter's words; fear that the night court’s inner circle seemed to be asking questions about you; regret that you had given into Melanie’s pleas to go to school so readily.
But Nyx was just a child—perhaps he asked everyone when they had dinner and Melanie was just connecting dots that weren’t there.
But maybe that wasn’t the case.
Maybe Azriel came to the apothecary specifically because you worked there and he was trying to gather intel for the Autumn Court. It had to be common knowledge that the daughter of one of Beron’s men had run away. But Night and Autumn weren’t on the best terms. That’s why you chose Velaris to—
You couldn’t do this right now.
Not in front of Melanie and certainly not in front of Azriel.
You pressed your lips into a firm line and whispered back, “No, he came to buy something from mommy’s shop. It’s just us for dinner, like always.”
A sliver of disappointment fractured Melanie’s gaze. She hooked her chin over her shoulder and sent Azriel a small smile before disappearing into the apartment once more. You wiped your palms on the front of your pants as you stood, taking a breath to calm your raging anxiety.
“Sorry, she…”
“It’s alright,” Azriel dismissed. You looked at him for the first time in a few moments, his expression pinched and difficult to read. “I’m around Nyx a lot. You don’t have to apologize.”
A beat of silence.
The room was cloaked in unrealized tension. You weren’t sure if it was fueled by suspicion or something else. For you, it was, but the wistful way Azriel continued to linger on your figure was read as something else. Something older, more entrenched.
“It’s just two coppers.” You broke the silence, gesturing to the tonic still held between Azriel’s fingers—his scarred fingers, you then realized. You looked back up to his face.
“Only two? After all it took for you to make it?”
You felt your mouth twist at the corner despite yourself. “I don’t know if you’ve seen this place, but it’s not exactly up to par with the rest of the apothecaries. I’m surprised you found it, to be honest. My customers are typically ancient fae with boils and warts.”
“Sorry to disappoint,” Azriel teased. He searched through his pocket and placed a small sum of money on the counter between you. “Five coppers—for interrupting dinner.”
“I hadn’t even—”
“Goodbye, y/n.”
You watched him go, not noticing the shadow that lingered in the corner.
part three
#azriel x reader#azriel x you#azriel x female!reader#azriel x y/n#azriel fanfic#azriel shadowsinger#azriel acotar#acotar#acotar fanfiction#azriel fluff
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relax
in which spencer helps university student reader de-stress after a particularly exhausting assignment
18+ (smut) warnings: fingering, overstimulation, happy crying, lowkey softdom spencer, slight d/s dynamics, reader is referred to as a girl, ????idk i've never had to tag for smut before lols wc: 2624 a/n: been doing some insane literary cooking. lots of smut AND more fluff in the works (all uni reader... lol... ). idk if i love this but again need to fucking get it out of my word doc so here u go, PLEASE lmk if you like it!!
You don’t even realize the room has gone completely dark until Spencer comes in the front door and flicks on the light.
“Why did you do that?” you snap immediately, looking up from your laptop screen for the first time in potentially hours, blinking hard as your eyes painfully adjust. Your boyfriend gives you an odd look.
“Hello to you too...”
“I’m sorry. Hi. How was dinner?”
“It was good,” he says, crossing the room to the couch that has been your entire world for the past five hours. You sigh, releasing some of the tension in your shoulders when he leans down to kiss your head and set down a to-go box on the coffee table. “Have you moved since I left?”
“...no,” you admit, moving your eyes dejectedly to the keyboard.
“You made progress,” he appeases, leaning over you to angle the laptop upward. Immediately you wrench it away, holding it protectively against your chest.
“Stop! I don’t want you to read it yet!”
“I could help you with it though,” he pleads, bracing a hand on the arm of the couch. You look up into his hazel eyes, where he’s definitely playing up the puppy dog factor. His tie brushes your stomach, and he smells like lavender and clove and--
“You need to go away,” you realize, snapping back to reality and shrinking into the couch, away from him—trying to escape his all-encompassing sensory presence.
“Wh- I just got back!” he scoffs, straightening.
“You’re distracting me,” you accuse, throwing him a baleful look.
“I’m literally offering to help you.”
“And I’m respectfully declining because I care too much about your opinion to show you this essay until it’s less terrible. I really just need a couple more hours to finish it, please?”
Spencer sighs, regarding your pitiful state before moving to sit down next to you. Automatically you move your legs out of the way before settling them in his lap and damn it he’s supposed to be going away. Your iron grip on the laptop involuntarily loosens a little as his hands begin to run back and forth over your legs. No—you must stay focused.
“Spencer,” you whine, flopping your head back. You let the implied complaint hang in the air.
“You’ve been writing all day. Your brain is exhausted, and your synapses aren’t firing at a rate that is intellectually productive.”
“What is the point of having a brain if I can’t even use it half the time!” you almost-shout, pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes until you see fireworks.
The couch shifts and you feel the warm, robotic weight of the laptop unpin you as Spencer lifts it from your lap. “Don’t read it,” you beg, watching through parted fingers as he sets it on the coffee table, and relaxing slightly when he settles back into the couch.
“Come here,” he says, holding out an arm. Too mentally exhausted to do anything but comply, you pull yourself up just enough to fall into him. Immediately he wraps his arms around you, one hand slipping under your shirt to rub your back in hypnotizing passes. “I think you burnt yourself out,” he mutters.
You nod into his shoulder, surrendering yourself to his warmth, letting yourself sink into a lavender-clove fog, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into it. The darkness behind your eyes glows an inviting amber, threatening to pull you under...
But the essay...
“Stop thinking about the essay,” he demands.
“But I have so much to do,” you sigh against his jacket, the words coming out muffled.
“The best thing you can do now is give your brain a rest. I promise you you’re not making that paper any better if you’re exhausted.”
“I am not exhausted,” you insist, although your eyes are still closed, “I’m just really stressed.”
Spencer hums, continuing to rub your back.
“Do you need me to help you relax?” he says innocently.
Oh?
One of your eyes opens to peer up at him suspiciously. He sweeps some of your hair out of your face.
“Because I would be happy to.” A moment passes—him looking down at you fondly; you wondering if you’re picking up what he’s putting down.
“And how would you go about doing that?” you ask suspiciously.
“Orgasms reduce tension and stress and improve brain function.”
Damn. Why did the nerdiest, most un-sexy pickup line ever just turn you on?
You groan, burying your face further into his shirt—mostly to hide any trace of a blush.
“You know what else would reduce stress and improve brain functioning? Taking an Adderall and finishing my fucking essay.”
“Angel, you're such a smart girl, and you are fully capable of doing whatever you set your mind to—but I will lock your laptop in my gun safe before I let you look at that essay again tonight.” He speaks so softly, and his fingers are still gently combing through your messy hair... all in all, you put up a good fight, right? Maybe you should just listen to him...
“... fine.” you say eventually, reluctant to give in too quickly even though the idea quickly has filled your stomach with butterflies.
“Fine?” he says, pausing his motions as you turn your head just enough to look up at him. “Sounds like you don’t really want it, baby. Maybe we should just go to sleep. Or I could take you back to your-”
“Spence,” you whine, gently grabbing the front of his shirt. Now he’s going to make you beg? As if it wasn’t his idea? Those puppy dog eyes of his are deceiving.
“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” he sighs, hand moving from your hair to your outer thigh.
“Please?” you whisper, dignity forgotten as you look up at him imploringly.
“Lean back, sweet girl,” he says, helping you adjust your position til you’re lying against his chest, legs sprawled across the couch. Your head lolls on his shoulder, intoxicated by his close proximity. “Perfect. Such a good listener.”
Normally, you’d be quick to make a defensive remark, but with the way he’s slowly hiking your shirt up, running his hands over your sides so lightly it gives you goosebumps—you're really in no position to argue. Your eyes flutter shut as his hands grow bolder in their explorations, crossing your stomach, fingers just slipping under the waistband of your shorts and skimming over your hipbones before coming back up.
“Does that feel good?” he murmurs, and you nod lazily, apparently losing access to your language facilities after running them dry all day. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem good enough for your boyfriend. “Do you remember when the last time I touched you like this was?”
Through the hazy blur of your exhaustion, you try to think back. Was it... two days ago? Three? More?
“Almost a week ago,” he supplies the answer for you when you take too long. What? That can’t be right.
But when you think about it harder... it is right. It was right before finals week started.
An errant hand straying up your torso distracts you. “Do you remember what I did?”
You flush.
“You... yeah,” is the best you can offer, too flustered to say exactly what he did to your body. That stray hand moves over your breast. Your back arches just slightly at the stimulation through the thin fabric of your bra.
Thankfully, he lets you off the hook.
“I made you cum three times, right?”
“Mhm,” you hum through closed lips, tense with anticipation as he finally slides both hands down to your shorts and wordlessly directs you to lift your hips so he can pull them all the way off along with your underwear.
“You’ve been so busy lately, huh. Working so hard.”
You unconsciously drop your bent legs open, brain too foggy to be insecure about how utterly bare you are—allowing him to slowly rub up and down your inner thigh.
“I’m gonna make you feel good, honey. I don’t think three times was enough for such a stressful week.”
You gasp when his fingers finally brush your clit, whimpering slightly when they just barely skim your entrance before tracing the wetness back up.
“Give me your hand,” Spencer says, taking his own from between your legs and holding it up. You don’t even think about it, releasing your grip on the arm he now has wrapped around you and holding it out for him. At this point, you’d do anything he tells you to without hesitation.
He takes the proffered hand, gently guiding it back between your legs. Your fingers meet slick, soft warmth. “Do you feel how wet you are?”
“Yeah,” you breathe, seeing how your fingers glisten when you pull them away. His remain, running slowly up and down your clit. Your brain seems to be vibrating in your skull as warmth spreads throughout your body.
“Who’s that for?”
“You, Spencer,” you whimper. He hums in approval before the room falls into silence as you both watch his teasing intently, your breath baited as you try to be patient. But your body isn’t with the program, you keep twisting slightly, your hips cant upward. “Please, please,” the words escape on a held exhalation as you finally break, arching your back against him as your search for more friction.
Without warning, he sinks two fingers inside you. The slight stretch after not having taken anything in a week scratches an itch you didn’t even know you had, and you let out a broken moan.
“I know, honey. You’re so good, I know.” Spencer kisses your head as he speaks over your cry, barely moving his fingers for a few moments while you get comfortable.
Still you’re not ready for it when he withdraws and pushes back in.
“Look at that,” he breathes.
“Oh, fuck,” you choke, watching how your arousal completely coats his fingers as he slowly, slowly begins to fuck you with them.
Again you feel the vibrations in his chest as he laughs slightly—probably at your earlier insistence that you didn’t desperately want this. The laughter fades as you both become entranced by the sight of his fingers disappearing into you, and your stomach twists with pleasure. His pace remains languid, and he seems to delight in the filthy, wet sounds his hand is producing between your legs.
“You okay, baby?” he asks after a moment, seemingly snapping out of some trance.
“Uh huh,” you whimper. One particular drag of his fingers at just the right angle has you dizzy, and then he’s speeding up. Your jaw drops at the change in pace and your hips chase his hand, wanting even more.
“So pretty,” he mutters as his other hand moves to spread you open.
You attempt to shut your legs around his wrist, but instead he just ruts his fingers deeper into you, palm pressed against your clit. You attempt to twist away from the extreme stimulation, but he doesn’t allow it.
“Too much,” you squeak, bucking your hips inadvertently.
“No it’s not,” he states, like you’re talking about the weather.
“Spencer, I really c- ah- can't!”
“It feels like a lot, huh?” he asks soothingly, not letting up one bit.
“Yes!” you cry, eyes stinging as tears begin to well.
“You’re okay, angel. It’s just been a while.”
You are so completely fucked. Each stroke of his hand feels like an electric jolt through your whole body. It is too much, but at the same time, pleasure is pooling deep in your stomach and at the base of your spine and you never want him to stop. You throw your head back onto Spencer’s shoulder, eyes screwed shut.
“Relax,” he mutters, carefully bearing down the pressure across your waist with his arm to try and keep you from squirming.
A rhythmic whine breaks through the barrier of your sealed lips as you focus all your energy into taking it, when the all-consuming need to kiss him hits you. You twist your neck to look up at him, observing the furrow of his brow and the way he’s tucked his bottom lip into a bite. Thankfully he notices your movement—his eyes dart from your own half-lidded gaze to your lips and he understands what you want.
The kiss is messy and the angle is awkward and you’re moaning into his mouth half the time anyway, but it feels so good to have his lips moving on yours that you don’t care about any of it.
“I—ah,” you cry into him, unable to form a coherent thought as your stomach drops like you’re mounting the peak of a roller coaster.
His fingers again change their angle and he finds the spot inside you that makes your legs spasm. Attempting to hold in whatever noises you were making is now futile—the whimpers and pants turn to full-fledged keening moans interspersed with taut silences as you fail to breathe properly.
Your wrench your gaze and lips away from Spencer to watch through a blurry haze the rapid movement of his hand between your bare legs, the way your hips buck and twist and the way your leg bends as he hooks his free hand under your knee and hoists it toward your chest.
“You’re doing so well, honey. Being so good for me.”
Moisture spills over from your eyes, tracing down your cheeks and down your neck as you begin to come with no warning and a desperate, broken cry.
A string of praise from Spencer underscores your pleading moans, but you can’t focus on anything other than the buzzing warmth emanating from your core, the bright, pulsing white that blinds you and the feeling of stardust flowing through your veins.
Your boyfriend continues pumping his fingers slowly in and out of you for a blissful few moments, before sensing the tail-end of your orgasm and bringing his fingers up to rub lazy circles over your clit. Aftershocks resonate from the hypersensitive area and make you clamp your legs shut around his hand as your toes curl and you attempt to squirm out of his grip.
“Done! I’m done,” you squeak, rocking your hips back and forth to try and escape his toying.
“Okay, okay,” he soothes, relieving the pressure of his hand between your legs and moving it to run over your stomach as you come down.
You lie in silence for a minute, enjoying the liquid sensation weighing down your muscles and basking in the warm afterglow of your orgasm.
“Shit,” you breathe shakily after a moment. Spencer chuckles. You manage to turn yourself over, laying your cheek on his shoulder and slipping your arms under his waist. He looks down at you as he moves on to massaging your back and bare hips, eyes full of warm adoration.
“Feel better?”
You hum an affirmation, wiping your eyes on his shirt.
“Oh, honey, did I make you cry?”
You laugh into his chest and nod, a few stray tears leaking from your shut eyes. “It’s okay. Not sad tears.”
“What kind of tears?”
“Orgasm tears,” you mumble, a tidal wave of exhaustion you’d been fighting all day finally washing over you.
“That makes sense. Orgasms can be cathartic or even therapeutic depending on your head space. Major losses and life changes are often associated with sexual dysfunction but the opposite is actually just as if not more common. A spike in libido can—”
Spencer pauses, looking down to see that you’re either asleep or close to it, and smiles to himself. You’ll probably be mad about it when you wake up, but he had to get you to stop thinking about that paper somehow.
#criminal minds#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid x you#spencer reid smut#spencer reid fluff#spencer reid fanfiction#criminal minds smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds fanfiction#criminal minds fic#criminal minds fanfic#criminal minds imagine
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waking up from a nap and james not being there so we go search for him and he's w Remus and Sirius but it doesn't even matter bc you NEED your post nap hug :(
You’re groggy as you peel your eyes open, the evening sun blocked out a little from James’ shut curtains.
You move a little closer to his side and frown. Usually, there’s a warm body to cuddle up to, the soft smell of cardamom and clove but not this time.
With an even more severe frown, you walk out to the living room. When you hear the voices of Sirius and Remus you know where to find him immediately.
“Jamie,” you whine, an even more pitying expression on your face as you stomp towards him.
“Hi lovie,” James knows exactly what you want and he has to actively fight a smile from breaking out on his face as he opens his arms to you. “How’d you sleep?”
His big hand pushes back all of the loose hair that’s fallen from your braid while his other one rubs your back.
This had become routine for you and James when you took naps. There must be post nap cuddles so you don’t feel grumpy.
You’re like a cat in James’ mind- you preen under his affection, do that cute head tilt when he scratches a good part on your head or back and you just love being all up under him; especially post-nap.
“Bad,” you’re just saying that and James’ laugh lets you know that he knows you’re being untruthful. “Okay it was good, just missed you.”
Sirius pipes up then, “S’rude not to acknowledge your guests yknow doll.”
You shrug, eyes closed as James scratches the base of your neck. “You’re intruding.”
James’ laughs trembles down his entire body at Sirius’ aghast look.
“How rude, Remus brought you those godforsaken melons you’ve not stopped talking about. And bunches and bunches of the black grapes you love.” Sirius’ voice goes up a pitch and you know he’s teasing.
You open one eye, catching Remus jerking his chin to the kitchen where you spot the spread of fruit.
“I never said Remus was intruding, just you. Remus never steals my boyfriend before I get post-nap cuddles.” Remus laughs at the way Sirius’ eyebrows jump to his hairline and his tattooed hand darts for your foot.
He presses a mean thumb into the arch of it until James bats his hand away.
“I’ll cut them up when you’re fully awake, ‘kay?” James whispers to you and you smile.
“Thanks Jamie,” you kiss under his chin and then say, “You’re the best.”
#jamespotter#james potter#james potter one shot#james potter imagine#james potter fanfiction#james potter fluff#james potter drabble#james potter headcanon#james potter blurb#james potter fic#james potter x black!reader#james potter x yn#james potter x y/n#james potter x reader#james potter x you
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hi mae:) would you be willing to write a sirius x reader fic where reader just gets hammered and spills all of her family trauma to sirius? like, she’s no longer in that environment because she moved out but they were just really mean and terrible to her and she’s never told sirius but then she finally does and he’s just like “poor baby, let me tell you all of the love and reassurance you never got as a child:(“
Thanks for requesting lovely <3
Sirius Black x fem!reader ♡ 634 words
You worry you’ve traumatized your boyfriend.
Sirius has you tucked firmly under his chin, both arms squishing you to his front, and you’re not sure if the rocking is for you or him or possibly both.
“Sirius,” you murmur, some of the vowels lost due to your malfunctioning tongue. “Baby, m’sorry.”
“What’re you sorry for?” Your boyfriend’s voice sounds thin. He’s had a bit less to drink than you, but his words still sound like they’re written in cursive, strung together by thick emotion. “You haven’t done anything wrong.”
You sigh. It feels nice, being cocooned in his warmth like this. He’s squeezing you just tight enough to be comfortable, and he smells more like himself than like rum. Your next inhale, you focus on it. Clove and nighttime.
“I shouldn’t’ve dumped on you like this,” you admit.
“Yes you should have.” Sirius’ lips press firmly to the top of your head. “Sweetheart, I only wish you’d told me sooner. Why didn’t you?”
His sympathy is bringing you dangerously close to tears again. Your first wave has only just dried. “Because I know it’s a lot,” you say, attempting to swallow the blockage in your throat. “S’not like you don’t have your own family shit to deal with. And anyway, I moved out.”
“Baby.” Sirius sounds devastated. “I don’t care what shit I have, it doesn’t mean I don’t wanna hear about yours, too. I always do.” His fingers bunch in the fabric of your top, short nails scratching lightly against the skin underneath. “And I know better than fucking anyone that moving out helps, but it doesn’t fix everything. It can—you can still hurt.”
Where Sirius’ chin touches your forehead, you feel a hot tear drip onto your skin. A pained sound slips from your throat as you pull away from him, taking his face between your hands.
And you’d expected him to look upset, mournful even, but Sirius looks livid. Every sharp angle of his beautiful face is wrathful, silent tears gleaming on his cheeks and dark brows lowered over stormcloud eyes. His hands stay bunched in your top as if he means to keep you tethered to him by sheer force of will.
“You’re good,” he tells you, voice quavering with conviction. “You’re lovely, and kind, and more than enough. Got it?”
“Siri,” you whisper, brushing some of the wetness from his cheeks. “It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” he insists. Some of the harshness has waned from his expression, though, under your gentle touch. “Nobody should ev—” His voice splinters, and Sirius looks frustrated with himself. You want to roll the both of you up in the comforter of your bed and never come out. “Should ever treat their kid that way,” he finishes. He looks you in your eyes, fierce in his earnestness. “I’m gonna love you so hard those fuckers will regret not giving it to you sooner.”
Though you try to stop it, a corner of your mouth tips up. “I love you, too, baby. You can love me as hard as you want.”
“Oh, fuck you.” He cracks a smile at your salacious tone. You stop trying to hold back the rest of your grin, and he grabs your face in both hands, smashing his lips to yours.
The kiss is firm but not harsh, so fond it makes your heart feel like a bruise. Sirius moves to your forehead next.
“My baby,” he says against your skin, both amused and ardent. Drops his forehead to yours. “I’m gonna make up for it. I’m gonna give you everything you never got back then. Do you have any idea how much I love you, sweet thing?”
“I love you, too,” you promise him, pushing against his forehead lightly with your own. “Don’t worry, you already make up for everything.”
#sirius black#sirius black x reader#sirius black x fem!reader#sirius black x y/n#sirius black x you#sirius black x self insert#sirius black fanfiction#sirius black fanfic#sirius black fic#sirius black hurt/comfort#sirius black imagine#sirius black scenario#sirius black drabble#sirius black blurb#sirius black oneshot#sirius black one shot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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Witchcraft 101:
Cleansing vs Uncrossing vs Banishing
Alright witches. Lets dive into some witchy basics and discuss the differences between cleansing, uncrossing and banishing. This will hopefully help you differentiate between them. But.. lets be honestly if you do something like call a spell an uncrossing when "technically" doing a banishing, who cares its all in good spirit. The reason i think its good to have a difference in mind between these falls into how you handle a spell. If I'm doing an uncrossing vs a banishing i would choose different spell ingredients, maybe work with different gods, or choose a different element to work with.
Cleansing: I consider cleansings as the foundation and most basic of these. Its almost an umbrella term the other two fall under. All banishings are cleansings, but not all cleansings are a banishing. Cleansings are when you're trying clear something away. Most often people will use this term in day to day workings and general upkeep to make sure nothing has stuck to them. This would include more casual things like smoke cleansing, showering and asking the water to cleanse you, sound cleansing, etc. Its not a full spellworking or ritual, but still done with energy and intention. Sometimes you may do a cleansing and realize whatever is there, is stuck deeper then you expected. So you take the next steps and do a more "intense" cleansing like an uncrossing or banishing.
Uncrossing Spells: Uncrossing specifically refers to removing unwanted energy. Usually when discussing what is an uncrossing, I sperate it from just a cleansing by describing it as a very intense cleansing where you're trying to strip away intense and specific energy. These are more work and a step up from an everyday cleansing for more intense scenarios. This is very spirit focused; think of it as taking out the bad and putting in the good. Some types of spells I would consider an uncrossing are: removing hexes/jinx/curses, removing the evil eye, spiritual detoxes, road openers, removing any stubborn energy, removing feelings, etc. I associate uncrossings with water: it's soaking in and getting that energy out. I would choose herbs/spell ingredients that are uplifting and purifying. Think salt, rosemary, rue, and lemons.
Banishing Spells: Banishing spells remove unwanted entities, spirits or people. You can use it to get rid of very deep rooted things like habits or insecurities. Banishings are quite a strong forms of spellwork. You're really kicking something out and away from you when you do a banishing. Its connected to more deep rooted things that you're trying to remove from your life. Some types of spells I could consider a banishing: cord cutting, exorcisms, banishing a spirit attached to you, getting rid of insecurities, freezers, etc. I associate banishings with fire. Burn and gtfo. I would choose herbs that have more of a kick to them and are defensive. Think nettle, blackberry leaves, cloves, even pepper in some cases.
Please note this doesn't have to be something strict. Like i said at the beginning this is just a guide that will help you differentiate so you can tackle the spellwork as effectively as possible.
✨Stay Spooky ✨
#witchblr#pagan witch#witchcraft#witchythings#witch#the spectral cottage#spellwork#witch tips#Banishing#Cleansing#Uncrossing#Spell Tips#grimoire#book of shadows#witchy how to#baby witch#beginner friendly
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Hello ✨
How are you doing? It has been a while, since I've been so obsessed with an anime and an anime boy at that 😩 Could I ask for general romantic to naughty Headcanons for Hayato Suo with a female reader?
It would be absolutely lovely 💕 Thank you
hullo, anon! welcome welcome to the winbre fandom ✨ pull up a chair, relax and brainrot with us why wontcha?
suo is such an enigma — he’s so hard to read but he’s so… open at the same time? love him to bits tho. ok onto the romantic, sappy, filthy and sexy headcanons for our eye-patch having pretty boy.
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐓 𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 : fem!reader, suo eaaaaats, suo's mean :c, READER BEGS, heavy on the teasing
NSFW under the cut later. so pls, MDNI ok? besitos mua.
S F W .
absolute gentleman. this man will open doors for you, hold your purse without any embarrassment, bring you 'just because' bouquets and celebratory bouquets, wine and dine you. you are absolutely a spoiled son of a gun with suo everybody around you is kinda jealous of it.
loves it when you smell him. LOOK AT HIM AND TELL ME HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE HE SMELLS GREAT. I DARE YOU. DOUBLE DARE YOU. he rarely ever breaks a sweat in fights and on hot summer days it's weird. he finds it endearing when you lean close to him to smell his shirt or coat. (he sneaks in forehead kisses that way :)))))) ) ((he smells lightly of soap, heavy on the sandalwood incense, clove and patchouli and you can't tell me otherwise.))
has to have your hand in his at all times. no matter what. he likes teasing sakura and nirei whenever he catches them eyeing you both subtly (little shit). if you're averse to physical touch, don't fret. just having you close to him is enough.
is great at giving massages. LISTEN. have you seen his hands? HI??? your man gives you the best back rubs, can wring out the worst knots on your body like no big deal. it's almost like it comes naturally for him. soft pressure? he's got you. medium? sure. hard pressure? "are you certain, dove?" well... okay.
HEAVY ON THE ACTS OF SERVICE. he is at your beck and call 24/7. a lover, personal chef, masseuse, help and a bodyguard rolled into one. he does anything and everything for you without questioning it. he's just happy you're happy.
NSFW UNDER THE CUT.
N S F W .
absolute gentleman has a mean streak. "you're gushing all over me, dove." he coos against your skin, a nasty smirk painted across his beautiful features. his fingers expertly prodding you. fuck. he knows your body better than you do. "give me another." he adds harshly, his tone a dark contrast from his previous softness. he's pulling another orgasm from your cunt. the naughty, wet squelching reverberating through your bedroom. he loves fucking you slow but god he loves it even more when you're a quivering, fucked out mess on his fingers. his little doll.
loves it when you smell him loves smelling you. ever notice your favorite panties disappearing from your laundry hamper only to have it materialize in your closet, neatly folded? you could have sworn you didn't wash and fold it-- blame your lover. he likes stealing your used panties, holding it to his nose as he takes a deep inhale. his other hand is on his pretty cock, pumping desperately, animalistic. it doesn't even seem like it's him at that moment. when he eats you out, first thing you feel touch your cunt isn't his tongue. it's always, always his nose.
has to have his hand in his at all times has to have his fingers stuffed inside you at all times. as soon as you both are alone, he's all over you. panties slid to the side, alternating between rubbing your clit and fucking you on his slender fingers. he needs you to get a quick nut out for him before the others return -- can you manage?
is great at giving massages--and loves teasing you while doing it. "s-suo.. please..." you whimper below him while he's massaging your thighs, brushing his fingers against your cunt but just missing it by a little bit. he chuckles, his tongue darts out to wet his lips. "relax, dove. you're tensing up again." he says as he does it again, now fully rubbing your clit for a moment before pulling away abruptly. you curse under your breath. "don't tell me you want me to stop." he teases, an annoying lilt to his voice. he knows what he's doing to you.
HEAVY ON THE ACTS OF SERVICE loves giving and giving and giving. this man. THIS MAN. he loves eating pussy. and I mean LOVES eating pussy. he could bust from eating you out alone -- he's not even jacking himself off. he's soiled a couple of his pants before. you wouldn't know. he loves listening to your breathing go from soft heaves to staggered. if you wanted to ask him to eat you out, he's already on his knees before you finish your sentence. make sure you're ready to cum more than 3 times.
a/n: ehe this was fun. suo's so fun to write. he's so filthyyyyyy UGHHHHHHHHH. i hope you liked it, bbs.
#wind breaker#windbreaker#windbreaker x reader#wind breaker (satoru nii)#windbreaker (satoru nii)#hayato suo#hayato suo x reader#suo x reader#windbreaker smut#wind breaker smut#hayato suo smut#bibi spicy asks
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Our spotify wrapped was so very influenced by the fact that only two people in the system listen to spotify, and it's not that often. A lot of what Ram does is listen to Battle Scars by Paradise Fears on loop, and Luna listens to basically only Taylor Swift.
Battle Scars made up 1/3 of the listening we did. skjdndlgkjnfdkgjn
#Clove Posts#Ram has kinda bad depression#And that song makes him feel less alone so he loops it#We got Hero/Antihero and Fanatic for type of listener
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one of the most heart-wrenching things about thg universe is that you feel the loss of who each character would be outside the circumstances of their birth almost as acutely as you feel the loss of the characters themselves.
sure, we know what lucy gray and her family would be doing in a different world; she’d be dancing and singing and making music which defines a cultural identity. but what about the others? would haymitch have been a hilarious, loving father with a family had he not been forced to survive 47 other children’s brutal deaths? would finnick have been a charismatic and beloved actor, bringing joy to immeasurable people on his own terms? would beetee and wiress have worked together to develop technology to make it easier to connect loved ones far and wide? what would reaper and annie have given to the world, or thresh, or rue, or even coral or cato or glimmer or clove?
if katniss wasn’t half-starving and forced to spend each day hunting to feed her family, would archery be her true passion? or if she’d been a well-sustained little girl with access to art supplies, would she have spent her time sketching captivating dresses? she picks up ropes and making fish hooks quickly—could her dexterity have lent itself to knitting, sewing, or crocheting with vibrant yarns and fabrics? there’s so much evidence that katniss finds clothing inspiring and empowering, even when she dismisses it as frivolous. she likes being pretty, she just hates the circumstances under which she’s made to look pretty. cinna shows her that beauty has its own power, and there are several moments in her interactions with cinna and his designs that make me wonder who she’d be if she had space for art and creativity in her life.
conversely, peeta has had art in his life since he was a small child, but for him, art has always been entangled with his trauma. he could bake and decorate well because he learned from his mother, a mother who beat him his whole life. but his talent grows, not only as a survival tool in the first games, but when he paints rue on the floor of the training center before the second games. his art becomes not only a symbol of his trauma, but a means of resistance and solidarity. in a world where peeta’s intrinsic kindness and loving heart had been nurtured and welcomed rather than abused, could he have been a painter, helping people find collective meaning in the simple realities of life?
could katniss and peeta have still found each other in another world, a world without the horrors they were raised with, and bonded over their love of art? could they have been each other’s muses?
maybe they find their way to share art, after the events of mockingjay, as part of their process of healing and falling in love with each other. when they’re finally safe and have been for a long time, maybe katniss fashions peeta an easel for him to paint in their living room. after months of watching him gaze out the window and paint the changing leaves, katniss takes to knitting on a rocking chair in the other corner of the living room to steady her restless hands. they work silently as the days go by, quietly exchanging the things they’ve made to give each other the reassurance and love neither could ever fully convey with words.
and maybe one day, when they learn there’s a baby on the way due in midwinter, katniss takes a page from peeta’s sketchpad and starts to plan a series of sweaters and hats and socks she can knit for the baby. and peeta goes to the little nursery upstairs and starts working on a mural, so the baby will have something beautiful to look at every day. they work together to design the perfect baby blanket for their child, to ensure they will always be wrapped in a layer of protection and love by their parents.
but even if they find creativity and beauty in their lives after the end of mockingjay, the art they make will simply never be what that art could have been had they not faced what they faced. art comes from suffering, yes, but the human condition has so much suffering as is, and we’d never know what kind of art they’d make if they hadn’t experienced trauma of a distinctly sadistic and inhuman nature. but maybe their children, raised in a better world with love and protection and safety and joy and creativity and expression, will be the ones to create the art peeta and katniss never could.
#thg#the hunger games#hunger games#katniss#peeta#everlark#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#haymitch abernathy#cinna#lucy gray#lucy gray baird#thg analysis#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#finnick odair#annie cresta#catching fire#mockingjay
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