#closeted to gay

[biggest-gaudiest-patronuses]

historical drama/sitcom where two gay best friends (woman and man) get lavender married--and proceed to spend the Fancy European Honeymoon their parents paid for acting as each other's wingman

[ed-died688]

BOO

WOO

[azure-shuttle]

look the gays are fighting again

[my-midlife-crisis]

[pinbones]

I've seen a few posts about women and pants now and many of them are very good, and not to nitpick those posts or downplay religious sexism or anything, but I have to emphasise:

Somebody who DOESN'T live in a controlling religious country/cult/family is also affected by sexism. We all know that, right? Secular parts of the first world also have opinions about how women dress, including when it comes to trousers, especially in childhood and in institutions like schools and the workplace

Me and many people my age (20s) remember being forced into skirts, punished and shamed by parents & teachers & peers & possibly then bosses about what we wear not being feminine enough, and it wasn't by deeply religious sects. Many updates to dress codes are very new and sexist views are still in place in many institutions. Normalised societal misogyny wants women (and people they want to treat as women) to dress femininely, down to what KIND of pants they're allowed to wear (compare a pink top and jeggings to mens jeans and tell me these two women are treated the same. Hating women in pantsuits is still a sexist office joke today, and even those outfits are feminine compared to male suits, which raise eyebrows when worn by women). The women I know who wear trousers regularly are literally otherwise feminine, and all wear dresses to events.

I know trousers have become much more normalised over the past few decades in secular society (yay!! the result of many many years of effort and lawbreaking) but let's not be absolute when we talk about the pants concept lol. Especially within a larger conversation about female/transmasc/intersex/transfem masculinity and social perceptions, especially in an age of rising fascism

[bubblewrap-joints]

consider a magical girl anime except the characters transform from their work selves to their online selves

[beazt]

something I don’t really see mentioned or acknowledged at all is that “being in the closet” is a spectrum.

some people are only out to themselves.

some people are only out online.

some people are only out on specific websites or accounts.

some people are only out on a specific space on an account, such as a discord server.

some people are only out irl.

some people are only out when they’re in an area they don’t live in (such as the next city over, or on vacation).

some people are only out to their therapist and/or medical team.

some people are only out at school/uni.

some people are only out at work.

some people are only out to their family.

some people are only out to their friends.

some people are only out to their partner(s).

some people are only out to specific family/friends/partners.

some people express a muted or more “palatable” version of their identity in some or all spaces, not necessarily expressing the fullness of their identity anywhere but to themselves.

some people are partially or fully expressing their gender and/or sexuality, but not expressing other identity signifiers such as new pronouns or name.

or the above but express different versions of these signifiers in different circumstances or spaces.

some people express their identity fully, but don’t correct anyone who is “wrong” or tell anyone the full extent of their identity, with some answering when asked and others not.

some people have come out “fully”, and gone back into the closet “fully.”

some people are stealth, and are very cautious about who they allow (if anyone) to know their full identity.

and most queer people are incredibly complex mixtures of all of the above scenarios, and many more. I can’t possibly list them all.

we cannot meaningfully divide experiences between those who are “in/out of the closet” (full stop) because individual experience is way more nuanced than that. and everyone’s definition of either in/out is going to be different, ranging from “if 1 other person knows, you’re out of the closet” to “unless everybody knows the full extent of your identity, you’re not out of the closet.”

[sunderwight]

It's actually kind of hilarious to contemplate the prospect that the genre shift in SV means that Luo Binghe's harem go the queer route as well and start largely pairing off into lesbian ships with one another.

Mostly because of the sheer scale of Bingge's harem, and the fact that a lot of it was comprised of the members of politically influential families.

Can you imagine the freak-outs that various lords and kings are probably having over the fact that their daughters keep eloping with one another? The practical ones are probably going to be like, well, a political alliance is an alliance, welcome to the family Random Demon Princess! But a lot of them are probably going to be pissed that their bloodline's liable to die out, and that the perfectly suitable match (read: asshole cannon fodder Bingge did away with in PIDW) they arranged for their daughter got interrupted by some lady cultivator kidnapping her from her wedding instead. Imagining several prominent nobles in various realms furrowing their brows together and just being like, is it something in the water? Did some plant do this? Is it like it a cultural ripple effect, the Demon King is gay so now all the youngsters are too?

[evvvangeline44]

regulus may have been james gay realization but who was REGULUS gay realization? dorcas. yk why? cus all the guys in his class had a major crush on dorcas diva meadows EXCEPT regulus and he never figured out why till he saw james potter on a broom in a quidditch match and then it hit him. thank you for listening.

[linktothefags]

If you're a boy/man I love you so so much. You're not worse than other genders, you're not evil, you're not inherently sexist, you're wonderful. You're so very cool and cute and handsome and gorgeous. You're a lovely person and you're doing great in life and you are loved. Don't forget that.

[genderkoolaid]

some musings on transmasc mulan:

i think the reason why Reflection & mulan as a trans man is impactful to me is the fact that mulan appears as a woman and has the social role of a woman. i love rep of transmascs who are fully transitioned/present masc or male! but ive thought a lot about the erasure & invisibility of transmascs throughout history. the bits of our history we do have tend to be people who had the ability to pass as men, but there were undoubtedly so many trans men&mascs who lived as women, who could not pass well enough to live full-time as a man, who were wives and mothers! and idk i find it really impactful to read Reflection as the pain of a trans man in the closet, or who doesn't even realize that being a man is a Thing they can Do. i love how it touches on the pain of failing to be a woman. i think part of it is how often people want to dissociate trans men from misogyny, or at least control how we are "supposed" to relate to it. again, the mainstream (queer) narrative around transmasc history (and present) is trans men who could/can pass as cis men, who live their lives fully stealth. but there are and always have been many transmascs who live as women, most or all of the time, and who have to struggle with the demands of misogyny to be good daughters/wives/mothers, and the knowledge that to be a trans man would make you such a disgrace and disappointment ("if i were truly to be myself, i would break my family's heart"). i think its important to give a voice to the trans men past and present who live as women and their gendered experiences! i desperately want to give a voice to every trans man throughout time who lived and died in a dress, who had children, who thought they were the only one or who didn't even understand what or why they were.

obviously mulan does crossdress and does pass as a cis man, but specifically "Reflection" to me means a lot because i love how it can be read to be an expression of closeted transmasculinity. with transmascs, the bits of history we do get are constantly scrutinized by everyone; there's an unspoken rule of "cis woman until proven otherwise, why do you want to erase women?" and again! thats just when it comes to "women who crossdress" situations! people are so stingy when it comes to who they will "allow" transmascs to claim, seeing a "feminine cis woman" expressing transmasculinity feels transgressive in a very good way to me. also, i think we need more recognition that there are a lot of feminine women who really wish they were men (because they are), and its important to represent that experience and make it clear that being feminine (while presenting as a woman, or in general) does not mean you can't be a man.

[theunholyvirginemilyprentiss]

SPENCER: I think I’ll be able to think better under my desk.

EMILY: Won’t that be a little cramped?

SPENCER: *shrugs* You appear to be managing just fine in your closet.

EMILY: *scowls in gay*

[impommyyawl]

YOU CANT HIDE I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE KATSUKI

[lemonyoatmilk]

[tubbytarchia]

shut up I'm on my drawing kisses arc

[mamawasatesttube]

what WERE tim and kon doing in that closet together that made kon have to get dressed afterwards anyway? wrong answers only. i'll start i think they were playing two person strip poker but tim cheated like a motherfucker. actually wait that doesn't make this sound any less gay. um. hold on. there's gotta be something. um